#but on a serious note. isn't that fucking heartbreaking
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a little late to this game and I can't even give my full notes like the previous two times (I'm at work and can't do the second watch through I do to take note of my thoughts) but I would like to scream regardless, sp here are a few disjointed thoughts and feelings I'm screaming into the void!
as always, spoilers for arcane, the final act, under the cut
-LESBIAN SEX LETS GO WE FUCKINGGGG WOONNNNNNNNNNNNNN 🎉🎉🎉🎉🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
-but on a serious note for that thought, I'm so fucking happy that we got to have this. these two complex, beautiful, awful amazing women who are unapologetically queer and finally get their shit together to realise, the world isn't gonna wait for us, let's have sex, let's enjoy it. the fumble that vi makes with caits fancy belt, the delicate and healing way that cait holds and undresses vi, the full shot of vi's back tattoo, the fact that they can't keep their hands off each other and can't stop smiling! fuck! this was everything to me if you couldn't tell. also so much appreciation to the fact that this scene is an exact parallel to their first meeting!
-yes Mel get it with your sexy golden magic. I can't wait for the spin off series that will come from thus show cus I think it'll explore the black Rose and noxus war and I can't wait to see more of them!
-cait fighting desperate and dirty while still being so smart you have my heart (also cait with an eyepatch, fuccckkkkkkkkkk
-Maddie's betrayal lol, and the thanks for the warmth, bitch what warmth, cait was so mean to you even when you were sleeping together 😂
-the alternate reality???? oughh, oug oww, I need to lie down and cry for a whole week about that. everyone being alive except vi??? that shit hurted. also, domestic and therapised powder was everything I didn't know I needed and I'm so glad that when ekko figured out the anomaly that that timelines ekko came back to her. timebomb so cannon (also adore ekko for this entire act, every single second of it)
-jayvik mutual destruction is so them actually, and I'm glad they were together in the end. also sorcerer older vik had to be my favourite of his character designs. he looks so soft and at peace
-ambessas death is really not something I though we would see, or at least not in the way that it happened. but it's almost bitter-sweet that her death was nesacary for Mel to graduate to wolf in her eyes
-look, heimerdingers sacrifice was cute and heartfelt, but I really didn't have any attachment to the guy and was just glad that ekko made it home. very cute little song though
-Jinx is fucking dead and I hate it. yes it was in character, she did her one last good thing and just wanted to rest, but damn why did it have to be like that , but on the other hand, it leaves open the spot for powder to take hold of the narrative, because don't think I didn't see those hextech gems girl. she is everything to me and I really hope she's apart of whatever story comes next (I'm praying that powder gets to see vi all grown up, and that her older sister is okay, and that vi gets to see powder, the girl she might have been, and also that vi can see her brothers all grown up) (but that's all just wishful thinking)
-btw!! I always had faith in the writers. I love how this season came out on the full. it's absolutely amazing to me how they have managed to create on of if not the highest quality animated TV show ever. it was admittedly rushed, and I would have loved to see all these plot threads tugged at thoroughly before being tied up, but I still think what we got was a masterpiece
-jayce I did not like you in season one but I loved you in season two, and I held out hope that we would see why you did what you did, and it was so fucking perfect I would like to kick all of the jayce haters, just a little in the shins
-back to Jinx, it was genuinely so heartbreaking to see her catatonic over the loss of Isha and I hope they're together again now
-final form (herald) vik was pretty cool I like how it looked compared to his LoL design
-cait and Mel team up was something I didn't know I needed but damn it was good. the gays and girl kissers were eating well this weekend
-the animation of powder and ekko dancing? think I'll just go cry for another week for that alone, and their kiss!!??!? screaming crying
okay that's all I can think of for now. I may post more, I may not. I will absolutely be reposting like crazy though. agree or disagree with me, I want to hear your thoughts!
#lesbian#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane season 2 spoilers#arcane spoilers#caitvi#piltovers finest#timebomb#jayvik#screaming crying throwing up#im not okay after this and will proceed to watch the entire show at least 3 times through
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getting emotional about dream of the endless again today. but this time it's daniel, not morpheus.
like, aside from just the trauma of being a little kid that gets the memories and power and legacy of an aeons old being. he's still dream.
you know that panel, where matthew says to daniel, "i was his friend. i'm not your anything." that is so horrifying to me.
morpheus was lonely. he was so lonely even though he had death and delirium and matthew and lucienne and every damn dream in his realm. and then he died, and a new soul became dream of the endless.
and now he has a new soul. a child's soul, that's so scared and so lonely again. and daniel didn't want to be lonely. he called matthew his friend. and matthew rejected him. and it was probably the same with lucienne and his siblings and hob.
morpheus!dream was terrified of reaching out when he had people that loved him. and now that daniel!dream is reaching out, everyone is treating him like a stranger. but he's still dream.
i understand that daniel is a new soul. a part of dream that everyone thought would never change over millions of years has changed, and it's terrifying. he's acting like a whole new person.
but how much of a person is really their soul? a human has the same soul their entire life. would a 5 year old and his own 80 year old self act or think like the same person?
daniel has morpheus' memories. daniel is morpheus. he is dream of the endless. he could take on morpheus' appearance if he wanted to. do his memories, that he remembers as his own experiences, that are his experiences, count for nothing?
and all the people he loves, he is meeting again for the first time. and there is no guarantee that they will still love him, even though now exists the potential for dream of the endless to start loving openly again.
it's just so horrifying and so heartbreaking to me. morpheus was so tired when he passed on. and now he is so scared and none of his friends will help him.
EDIT: and not to mention that daniel can't go back to anyone he knew as a human either. they all see him as dream of the endless, and all of morpheus' friends see him as daniel.
he has changed irreversibly because of something completely out of his control and he is so so lonely for it. and naturally as a person with no problems, i am being so normal about it.
#i just get really emotional about what happens after the ending of the sandman#what happens to dream of the endless !!!#he's not gone !!!#he's just changed.#something something anything can be a trans allegory if you try hard enough something something#but on a serious note. isn't that fucking heartbreaking#dream of the endless#morpheus#the sandman#the sandman comics#daniel hall#matthew the raven#matthew the sandman#limebug's rantings
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the unplanned date - kim mingyu
warnings: suggestive but not really! just light mentions of past sexual events but thats all. slight use of profanities
pairings: kim mingyu x reader
genre: situationship to lovers lmaooo
wc: 2.8k
a/n: 1. fuck taeil
2. this was originally written for jeonghan but i felt it fitted mingyu better
3. please this took fucking forever because I kept getting writers block and hated the flow but I think I'm satisfied with it now
check out my masterlist!
"what? she's cheating on me?” mingyu asked in disbelief. “and what do you mean she's not my girlfriend?” mingyu angrily questioned jun with a slightly raised voice; his forehead and eyebrows scrunched in anger and confusion. “what the hell are you talking about? since when in the world did the two of you date? in another alternate universe??? all she did was go out on one date!” jun countered as he walks to the kitchen to retrieve a glass of water. at that, mingyu left their shared apartment, heading straight to yours; needing answers.
you jump when you hear your doorbell ring, “were you expecting someone?” your roommate seungcheol asked as you both exchange glances while he notes the time, it's 3:07am. “no?” you said as you got up from the sofa where you had been lounging on with seungcheol, binge watching the entire high school musical series but seungcheol stopped you, “wait, i'll get it. its late, it could be some creepy old man.” seungcheol rushed to open the door while you followed close by behind him. as soon as he opened the door, you were both met with a messy, disheveled hair kim mingyu. he’s panting so much that for a second, he looks like he might actually pass out. “mingyu? what are you doing here at this hour?” seungcheol asked as he opened the door wider for him to enter. “did you run here???” you asked. “yes but thats not the point right now,” mingyu pauses to catch his breath, “did you go out on a date with jun's classmate? are you cheating on me?”
seungcheol's brows slightly furrowed at mingyu's words, “woah calm down. why dont you come in first?” he asked as he tugged on mingyu's sleeves, ushering him in. “alright, im gonna be in my room to give you two some���.privacy. no funny business please, its 3am and I could use some sleep.”
mingyu inpatiently waited for seungcheol to retreat to his room before he sprung his question yet again onto you. “so??? are you not going to answer me??” it was clear that mingyu is frustrated as he laid his clenched fist on the kitchen counter. “what the fuck are you talking about? cheating on you? we're not even together!” you countered back as your forehead and eyebrows scrunched in confusion & slight anger matching mingyu's. “I'm asking you why the hell I just heard from jun that you went on a date with that new guy boy from his biology class?” mingyu knew he was being slightly petty but still, how could you? you watched as he slowly unclench his fists only to grip at the corners of the kitchen counter. “like i said, you and i? we're not together mingyu. I'm free to date whoever I want, isn't it? that was the rule you set, is it not?” you asked in anger.
“what do you mean we're not together?” mingyu paused before he continued. his question was laced with confusion and a hint of heartbreak but of course, he tried to mask it with even more frustration. “we hold on hands all the damn time y/n! we spend time together, A LOT of time together might i add, we stay over at each other's place, we nap together, we sleep together, we cuddle, we hug, we kiss, you play with my hair all the time and i do too! i mean, for god's sake, we fuck each other! what do you mean we're not together?”
“so what, mingyu?’’ your own voice and tone took you aback for a second, the words came out harsher than you would have liked but you dont falter. “weren’t you the one who said you didn't want anything serious to begin with? weren't you the one who said that we’re only keeping things casual and nothing more? so why are you here at my apartment at ass o'clock screaming at me about cheating on you?” you had made sure to put out air quotes for those last 3 words.
this time, there was a clear dip in mingyu's voice, softer, more tender, more vulnerable. “well…yes but that was before.. that was when we were still… I don't know, fucking around but now we're definitely not! the things we do are definitely not just… fucking around things! you know what I mean! why are you making this so hard!” mingyu was exasperated, that much was clear. you watch as he now has his arms folded and his pout coming to light, making your heart clench at the sight. “gyu...” you said as you let out a small sigh, mingyu perked up at his nickname, his gaze shifting to you. “I'm not trying to make anything hard and you know that. how was i supposed to know anything? how was i supposed to know what you want if you don't tell me?”
“I thought you'd know by now…i-i thought it was obvious by now…I thought we both…”
“you thought we both what mingyu? you can't just keep all these thoughts to yourself without telling me and expect me to know anything because trust me, I don't! I don't know how you feel about me, I don't know if any of this is as serious for you as it is for me, god, I don't know what your intentions are! all I know from you is that this is all just casual and nothing more! and you know what's the worst part of it all? it's that I can't even ask you about it because then I'm gonna come off as clingy and needy and it's pathetic to even imagine presenting myself that way to you!” your lips were now pressed together in a thin line; an overwhelming feeling of shame and embarrassment taking over you, forcing you to look away from him to avoid eye contact and you start to feel your eyes prick you with tears threatening to spill.
“you know I'd never think that of you... i just…I'm not good with words. I don't know how to tell you what I want or how I feel about you. I just get so tongue tied when it comes to you. I really thought that maybe if I lo-” mingyu all but stopped himself with a deep sigh, unable to voice out his hidden feelings for you. he took a few seconds to find a replacement for that word before he took another deep breath & continued, “I really thought that maybe if I just… let things be and let my feelings act on their own that maybe you'd pick up on it and we would just…” he ended with a sigh that was barely audible. you would have missed it if you weren't all focused on him.
his voice trailing off and quivering only forced you to quickly blink your tears away to look back at him; the sight of his shoulders slumped and his head looking down, not meeting your eyes only broke your heart even more. is it possible for your heart to feel so heavy and sad, yet filled with so much hope? because that's definitely how you're feeling right now.
regardless of how much you think you know what mingyu is trying to say, you still wanted him to say it, you still wanted to hear it from him. this friends with benefits situationship thing has been going on long enough for a year & a half now & that doesnt include the years before when you were both friends. everyone knows you're both kind of a thing yet not really. no matter how much the boys pushed for mingyu to make it official, mingyu always brushed them off and said that he didn't have to, that you already know what you both had, but in this moment, it dawned on him that what he thought he had with you isn't what you thought you had with him. all the self loathe and heartbreak he's feeling right now couldn't have made him feel more stupid than he already was.
“gyu can you- can you try? can you try telling me? Just… take your time, im here, im listening, I have all the time in the world for you, just try baby. I just want to know how you really feel, I just want to know what you want for yourself and for us.” your hands reached out for his with a mind of its own.
looking down at your joined hands, mingyu starts moving his thumb mindlessly at the back of your hand, caressing them gently. it's now that he realizes how utterly stupid he has been. “baby i-” yours eyes follow his hands as they now draw circles on yours as you gave him a light squeeze of encouragement. “go on gyu, im listening.”
“I don't know how to do this. I know I said I didn't want anything serious at the start of it and that it's just casual but… but that was before you- do you remember our first date?” mingyu gathers all the courage he could find in himself and cautiously brings his eyes to yours. “what date?” you didn't want to sound rude or cold but as far as you could remember, you've never had any dates with mingyu. your relationship with him started off as just being friends for years, evolving into a friends with benefits situation which was strictly only physical needs late at night, outside of that, you were nothing more, well, at least for the first few months that is. until….unless..? was he talking about the first time you both hung out together alone without the boys outside of the bedroom and while the sun is still out? “do you mean…the flea market?” you asked as realization dawned on you; that was the day your friends with benefits relationship evolved into something that was like a relationship but not really, the cursed situationship type of thing.
mingyu chuckles as he realizes how sentimental he looks right now, although, he's not sure if you can tell. his shy smile and fangs peeking through as he watches the gears in your head turn. “well..what about that day mingyu?” truth be told, you remember that day clear as day, but you can't pinpoint exactly what mingyu is trying to say; there wasn't really anything…special or anything that stood out that day, well, other than the fact that you were both out and not in bed that is.
“that was the first time we hung out together alone after we started the whole friends with benefits thing. do you remember? that night before that, when we broke our first rule of not sleeping over?” a quiet mhm was all you could let out, unsure of where mingyu is going with this. “do you even remember why I called you over that night?”
“you were sad. your hamster….he passed away.” you said carefully. “mhm he did. and that evening, that night, it was the first time you came over and we didn't…we didn't do anything. you held me, comforted me and let me wet your t-shirt with my tears. you insisted on putting me to bed and cuddling me to sleep for the first time and told me that you'd leave after I've fallen asleep. I still remember your slight hesitation that night when I'd asked you to stay over and not leave. did you know? i felt my heart sank a little when you hesitated but that was just the first of many realization that i- that i was in love with you.” your heart fluttered at his admission, “the first of many? were there more?”
for the first time tonight, mingyu let out a laugh, the one you loved so much. “of course there's more. when we woke up the next morning, my head was pounding so bad from all the crying the night before and I was so sad when I woke up alone in bed because I thought you had left but it was almost as if you had some psychic power and knew I was awake, you were screaming from the kitchen saying you know I was awake and asked me to get my ass over to the kitchen!” mingyu laughed harder this time, his hand coming up to tuck a stray hair behind your ear. “that was because I had just came back from the bakery! my hands were full so I accidentally let the door slam a little and I was sure that that would have woken you up!” you giggled while trying to defend yourself.
“you even got me my favourite cake from the bakery and all my other favourite pastries for breakfast. you must have been so in love with me ~" mingyu joked while raising his eyebrows suspiciously at you and you all but fall silent. you cleared your throat before you teased him back, “so? that's why you like me? because I cuddled you to sleep and bought you food? how easy can you be kim mingyu!”
“no that's not why! although i'll admit, it did click something in me. made me realise how well you know me and how well you take care of me. but that wasn't it! it was when you suggested we go to the flea market after breakfast just to take a walk to clear my mind for a bit. do you remember what happened there?”
“we walked and talked about silly things as always, what else? ah, you tried tanghulu for the first time! I remember that.” you recall giddily at how his eyes widened brightly at the sweetness of tanghulu when he took his first bite. “not that, silly! we ran into your ex & I had told him that i was your boyfriend and asked him to back off, do you know why I did that?” “because you pity me?” you joked, you know mingyu would never pity you, he's not a bad person but you couldn't pass up an opportunity to tease him. mingyu sighed dramatically at that, “no, I said I was your boyfriend because I saw the way he was looking at you…and it made me jealous. it made me realise that, that's the way I always look at you. it made me realise that I don't ever want anyone else to look at you that way and that I want you to look at me that way. me and only me. i-i realised that it's not just sex I want with you. that's why after that day, I kept bringing us out for dinner and stuff. or even just to hang out at home and watch stupid romcoms just to spend time with you. so I thought that, when our relationship from simply friends with benefits isn't friends with benefits anymore that you'd get it i guess…i don't know…saying it out loud right now sounds so stupid… I probably should have said something earlier… I'm sorry.” mingyu had his eyes on his hands again, guilt and embarrassment washing over him.
"thank you, gyu-ah. I really needed to hear all of that from you.” you lifted your hand to rest your palm on his cheeks, guiding his eyes back to you. “does that mean you like me too?” silly silly kim mingyu you thought. “no of course not!” you joked a failed joke because it seems kim mingyu didn't get the joke when he let out a quiet oh. “you're so silly kim mingyu. can't you tell im in love with you by now? how much more obvious can a girl get?” mingyu ears perked up at your words, then, smiling so big his jaws almost hurt. his hands turn to pull you by your wrists, placing them around his waist as he pulled you into a hug. your hands move up to rest on his neck and the other in his hair, tugging them lightly at the scalp. “I love you, I'll do better for you.” he spoke so close to your ear his lips almost brush them. “I love you too, thank you, I'll do better for you too.” your words only caused mingyu to tighten his hold on you, “can we go to bed now? I'm so tired and I want to sleep with my girlfriend.” he whined pouting. “yes we can, boyfriend.” you answered with a smile as you start dragging your big puppy into your bedroom, excited for more cuddles to come.
#seventeen#seventeen fluff#seventeen imagine#svt angst#svt fluff#svt#svt x reader#fanfic#mingyu#mingyu x reader#mingyu fluff#seventeen x reader#mingyu angst#mingyu fanfic#mingyu imagines#seventeen mingyu#kim mingyu
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My Favorite Expressions in Love Sea Ep. 9
Holy shit I don't think I have ever felt more relieved watching the penultimate episode of a Thai BL than I did this week. I was expecting doom, I was expecting gloom, and while both were absolutely present, we did not linger there.
This is just my opinion but to me that alone is proof of how much Mame has grown as a writer because for a second there I was fearing another Don't Say No situation.
BUT THIS AIN'T ABOUT THAT LET'S YAP ABOUT MICROEXPRESSIONS
I need to start with my baby because after the horrors last week, seeing her smile means everything to me. Gotta hold onto it as long as I can because we all know what's coming.
And speaking of smiles, this situation is TERRIBLE there are delinquents coming at my man with 2x4's but this feral smile from Mahasamut?
This one is purely for Meena's benefit, to comfort and reassure her but it is genuine, Fort's eyes are very sparkly. He switches gears very quickly when the getaway bike arrives for the thugs though so however chill he seems, he absolutely isn't. He just wants to keep the baby (and Vivi and her friend) calm.
It's very disconcerting to see Vivi this serious.
We're 2/2 on smiles for other people's benefit. My poor girly.
*stares at Viviana* You did this.
This look of pure murderous intent may be one of my favorite expressions Mut has had over this whole show, especially because it's paired with that clenched fist. And I'm going to give extra praise to Fort for it because he doesn't clench his fist until after Tongrak apologizes for what happened and he doesn't open his eyes until his hand is practically trembling from holding it so tightly.
This response doesn't come when Rak tries to blame himself for the beating; it happens when he apologizes for it. Mut isn't angry in the abstract and he isn't angry at Rak, he's angry for him.
I don't like this face, Khun Tongrak. I actually had a moment where I thought to myself, "why can't I read your face right now?" and of course it's deliberate on Peat's part. Even without knowing what we know from the preview, this face would have told us that Something was about to happen.
Or maybe that's just me, I don't know. I've been staring very hard at Peat's face for the past two months.
Watching Tongrak desperately try to steel his nerve after entering the snake pit that is his sperm donor's house is heartbreaking.
As much as I hate to subject you (and myself) to more of Jak's face, I'd like to point out that like last week, his face is in shadow while the face of the person he's speaking to, in this case Tongrak, is catching the light. Also worth noting that Rak's back is quite literally against the wall in this scene.
We see this play with light/shadow again when Rak has a flashback of him from his childhood. Jak has always been a vile, psychopathic snake and his true feelings and intentions have always been hidden behind shadow.
It's horrible to say because there's so much anguish behind it but this is such a beautiful expression. There's a split second where he tries to look angry but it just doesn't work.
I think there's a tiny part of Tongrak that truly believed that tearing up the contract would be what made Mahasamut leave and on the flip side of that, a part that was afraid that the contract was truly the only thing making Mut stay.
GODDAMN THIS IS THE SEXIEST THING MAHASAMUT HAS EVER SAID ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
For people like Tongrak and for people who can relate to Tongrak in the sense that one or more of the parents we pulled in the great gacha of life are horrible and shitty, there comes a moment where you realize that they aren't actually these huge indestructible monsters. They're human.
And when you realize that and look at them, it's like you're seeing for the first time. There's a weird sort of pity and whatever the opposite of awe is that you feel that's hard to describe. It's a feeling of "...Is that really it? Is that all there is to you?"
That is what Peat is portraying so incredibly in this scene.
BLINDING LIGHT OF LOVE LET'S GOOOOOOO
WILD HORSES, YA'LL! WILD FUCKING HORSES!
Pouty Tongrak face, as a treat.
Mook and Mahasamut were talking about Tongrak and what Mut would do if he got rejected when all was said and done, but Mook's face when Mut says he would accept the rejection tells me she's also thinking about herself and Vivi.
I actually really wish she would've talked to Mut about it directly because god knows girly pop needs to talk to someone about Vivi. Or better yet, Vivi herself.
As for the preview next week, do not even sweat it babes because you know what?
THERE ARE COLORFUL PATTERNS ON TONGRAK'S BODY!
I LOVE GETTING EVERYTHING I WANT!
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Clint/Bucky aka Winterhawk aka Clucky aka Barneston (?) Fic Recs
Yes I am an (unhinged understatement) Stucky writer but I have a soft spot for Bucky and Clint romantically. Particularly Comics Clint. Something about his crippling self esteem issues stemming from his abusive childhood combined with how deeply, deeply nice he is. In my favorite Clint characterizations, he isn't nice out of naivety, he always knows he's quite likely going to get screwed over for being so compassionate and forgiving, and he just does it anyway. It's really a lovely fatal flaw.
Anyway, shout out to everyone with fucked up abusive childhoods who got all the trauma and none of the circus skills! All of the baggage and none of the archery talent, you know?
So here are some things I love about them together:
So Clint is so chill around Bucky's grief but also deeply compassionate and also a slutty disaster and also funny. I think it's a really good mix for recovering Bucky to let his guard down and be soft.
Sometimes, in some universes, Bucky needs someone who is just as earnest but not as serious as Steve, you know? Clint is whimsical and the Winter Soldier needs a lil whimsy.
Typically, though not always, in fics when Bucky is paired with Clint the other otps are Clint+Natasha as deeply committed best friends/platonic soulmates and Bucky+Steve as deeply committed best friends/platonic soulmates, so it's just a whole deeply committed, devoted, platonic and romantic love situation that really works for me.
Winterhawk manifesto aside, here are some fics I liked presented somewhat at random.
Starving for the Light by thepartyresponsible
@thepartyresponsible hopefully this is the author and not a random person with the same name. Hi! I love your work! My notes: Beautiful modern magical world, beautiful details, beautiful healing. Exquisite levels Clint who is so competent and just not aware of how gifted he is but not in a cheesy way, just kinda heartbreaking till it isn't.
Here is another beautiful piece by the very same brilliant mind:
Got a Heart in Me, I Swear by thepartyresponsible
My notes: Sports AU! Baseball this time but you don't have to know baseball and beautiful characterization + competence remains the shining thing that made me want to eat it.
Redundancies by Noxnthea @noxnthea
My notes: What the fuck. I wanted to read this entire fic at the same time, but it wouldn't fit in my eyes all at once which is my only complaint, but it's a very severe complaint because it is so clever and good. Universe hopping. Must love Clint. All the good things about Clint being so fucking good. It's so sad in the way that makes you feel a deep love of the world and that maybe broken things can be beautiful and happy again, over and over?
Lost and Found by Mariana O'Connor @mariana-oconnor
My notes: Do you like werewolves? Trick question. Everyone likes werewolves. This is a lovely small town full of mysteries that Clint stumbles into. Obviously he starts rehabbing a hotel and taking care of orphans because he is just nice like that. Bucky can't keep away because, ugh, Clint stop being fascinating and competent and sexy. Bucky is only one man and also traumatized have you no respect?
Silhouette also by Mariana O'Connor @mariana-oconnor
My notes: YOU GUYS. Very slow build spy adventure time if you like spy adventure and heists mixed with pining because your mortal enemy is 1. Sexy and 2. Competent. Also Natasha is the best friend and Steve is the best friend. We travel the world. Action scenes. Everyone is so sexy. And competent. I can't make this clear enough. Sexy little mysterious post cards appear in the mail.
Perfect Tense by shatteredhourglass @shatteredhourglass
My notes: Ronin Clint thinks he's irredeemable, but he can't stop having sex with Bucky Barnes. Who hasn't been in this situation? Bucky is very angrily bandaging up Ronin Clint's stupid wounds again, ugh, gah, seriously, surely all this hurt/comfort plus admiration for Clint's combat skills won't lead to falling in love? Feelings, action, intrigue.
Funny story I wanted to include a fic where Bucky kidnaps Clint but y'all there are SO MANY fics where Bucky kidnaps Clint and I can't remember which one. I bet they are all good so maybe I'll do a follow up with like, top ten fics where Bucky kidnaps Clint and they fall in love.
#winterhawk#fic recs#fanfic rec#zenaida talks (too much)#Zenaida fic recs#i love you fanfic writers#Hawk guy#Bucket#Hawk Guy and Bucket
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Imperial Harem Novel AU
Note: This wasn't really requested, but I've already summarized the Replanted AU, Abandoned Yue AU, and the Fae AU, so why not this one? This particular AU has a place in my heart - mostly because it's silly. Also because there was a plot twist in there that I never managed to address so I'm writing it out now.
Summary: When Wukong wakes up in a trashy imperial harem novel he'd been reading, he's horrified. Why? Because he's in the body of a character who shares his name - a tyrant king who causes a lot of pain and suffering to everyone including the female lead. Wukong decides that, since he's here for the time being, he was going to fix the other him's mistakes and leave the world better than he found it by the time he finds a way back home.
(Sounds easy enough as a concept, but Wukong can't act for his life and he has serious imposter syndrome. Oh well, time to spam the amnesia button and fake it 'til he makes it.)
Everyone Else's POV:
The Monkey King was a tyrant who either spilt blood or added to his large harem. He selfishly ignored the matters of the crown and contributed to the suffering of his people.
Queen RinRin is left to manage the throne's affairs on her own, frustrated by her husband's selfishness and destructive tendencies.
Consort Macaque is tormented by the endless string of lovers his husband takes. He grows resentful after so many heartbreaks and lets it out on the harem. Violently.
Concubine Shanzha heard the rumors about the king. She tries to keep her head low but she's somehow gained his attention. And she's scared of all the trouble that is going to come with it.
Unexpectedly, the Monkey King suffered a head wound and was bedridden for days. Perhaps it was an assassination attempt? No one knows.
It didn't matter because the Monkey King woke up without his memories. It caused a bit of chaos all around. Everyone expected even more trouble.
To everyone surprise, he didn't.
The king started to participate in state affiars. He was clumsy and inexpierienced, but he was still trying his best. RinRin finds herself charmed by this new version of her husband.
While he doesn't remember Macaque, the king has become far more considerate and had dissolved the harem. The consort's resentment and bitterness was all but forgotten.
While the majority of the harem disbanded, Shanzha had to stay because of her political hostage position. But...it wasn't that bad? The king was respectful and gave her a lot of agency. She could pray and shoot at the archery range when she pleased.
Everyone doesn't say it out loud, but they liked this new king better. They hoped he never got his memories back.
Wukong's POV:
He's freaking out y'all.
I mean, it's pretty obvious, but it still needed to be said. He was freaking out.
Wukong didn't finish reading the novel before he was yeeted into it. He got so frustrated that he tossed it away. He regrets it so much now.
Wukong is the sheer definition of faking it til you make it. He spammed the HELL out of his amnesia while he tried to get into the groove of his role as Emperor.
Wukong's initial goal was to survive and not have any one find out he was an imposter. Then, after seeing just how much the OG!Wukong fucked everything up, he took it upon himself to unfuck as much as he can.
Good news: Wukong is making more progress than he expected. He's taking some of the load off of RinRin's shoulders by participating in meetings; he's taking away the major stressor in Macaque's life by dissolving the harem; and he's trying to make Shanzha's time in the kingdom as bearable as possible.
Bad news: All three of them somehow took his actions as an invitation to start trying to seduce him. Don't get him wrong. They're all gorgeous and amazing - Wukong isn't blind - but he's not really their husband. He's just some loser who hijacked their real husband's body. So he puts on the "I don't know I'm dumb" vizor on and hopes to high hell that no one sees through it.
They eventually do, so Wukong elects to scream and run.
When Shanzha opened up to Wukong and told him about her life and of her niece, he cried. He was always a sucker for tragic backstories. Why didn't the novel talk about this?
Not long after, he requested demanded Shanzha's homeland to send over her niece. Shanzha was overwhelmed when he gave her the exciting news.
Since Wukong taking a ward was huge, the entire court were there to recieve Yue. It was actually the first time RinRin and Shanzha crossed paths. It was butterflies at first "hi" for the queen who was regretting not being more involved with the harem.
Shanzha and Yue's reunion was so tearjerking that Wukong had to take a minute. Then, it was revealed that Yue was actually Macaque's family too. The six ears kinda made it obvious. Plot twist after plot twist, why didn't the author of the trash novel focus on THIS?!
Wukong never saw a baby monkey before so he's practically exploding because of Yue's cuteness. He was super duper doting.
Wukong also saw a way out of the entire "making an heir" business, so he names Yue his heir and hopes that this stops his spouses from trying to jump him.
It doesn't. Wukong's "Baba" energy just made him even more irresistable. Sorry Wukong.
The three have also joined forces. Oh no.
The Plot Twist:
One day, little Yue blinks up at Wukong and asks him if he can pretty please take her to see the nearby waterfall together. When he does, Yue takes advantage of the waterfall being a natural white noise machine to talk to him.
Yue: "You're a transmigrator too, aren't you?" Wukong: 😮"Whaaaaaaa-?!"
Yup, Yue's a transmigrator. She also read the trashy novel - all of it. So she has all the deets, which Wukong begs off of her by helping her reach high places and giving her treats.
Everyone: Aww, he's so good with her Wukong: Oh wise senior, please share your wisdom Yue: Tell the cooks to make the Dan Dan Noodles extra spicy hot and I'll think about it
Yue also helps her fellow homie out by being a deterrent for romantic advances. Can't talk or do anything beyond PG around the baby.
Wukong tells Yue about his plan to run away after setting everything and leaving the kingdom to her and she bluntly tells him that it was a dumb plan.
Yue: "At least wait until I'm not a baby to abdicate."
Yue also (gently) breaks it to Wukong that he's stuck here. The him in his original reality is most likely dead.
So, after a bit of spiraling, Wukong approaches his spouses and tells them the truth.
It was a bit shocking and they (Macaque and RinRin) needed some time to come to terms with the revelation, but this doesn't deter the three of them in the slightest. They're all in love with this Wukong and want to spend the rest of their lives with him.
(By the time Yue comes of age, Wukong does accept their advances enough to give her cute little brothers lol.)
#queen of the mountain#imperial harem novel au#transmigrated wukong#king wukong#queen rinrin#consort macaque#concubine shanzha#yuebei xing#shadowpeach#iceflower#peachflower#icepeach#celestial primate poly
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Hi Moon, I hope you are well! I wanted to drop in and say OH MY GOD THE NEW CHAPTER?!?!?!?!?!!?!!?
First of all, remember you made a poll/question asking what readers want to see more of and I said REINER POV and YOU MADE IT HAPPEN. It was heartbreaking but also SO SO GOOD AND AAAAA I can't believe how well you wrote him and his thoughts. Also fuck Karina man, I hope she falls in the lake and freezes over 🌚 maybe she can take Mrs Leonhart with her too👀
Then, CONNIE??? HE'S THE STAR HERE OMG I fucking love the way he's so serious about this ginger bread project. But also, how did Connie of all people become the serious, responsible and grounded one of the group🫢
Then, JEANPIKU AAAAAAAAAA I can't believe they're acting so flustered and they didn't even kiss yet like HELLOOO how will you guys react after that??? Terrible at hiding emotions fr!
I also want to take a moment to appreciate LEVI IN THIS CHAPTER BECAUSE THIS MAN HAS MISSING FINGERS AND IS STILL DOING HIS VERY BEST. Him sulking?? Him agreeing with Connie on the Annie crystalizing moment (which btw made me snort), him going along with this "plan" to help Armin and Jean?? Yes!!!
Below I added my favorite passages from this chapter. What a delightful read! I can't wait to do some drawing in the future of my favorite moments! Absolutely want to capture some of these!
Hellllooo stella!! T_____T Thank you so much for reading, I'm so happy to know you enjoyed the chapter aaaaaaaaa T^T
Yeeesss the poll-not-poll thingy xD This chapter has been in the works for months now, so it wasn't a sudden thing! But you actually guessed right under that post and it was a struggle to not tell you "Bingo!" XD
I'm very glad to know you liked the Reiner POV tho T_T I admit it was quite difficult to actually put into words; severe depression, especially the physical manifestation of it, is tricky to actually explain seriously without it sounding silly. Imo a lot of the ways depression shows up in daily life are very quiet and "tiny" - for example, Reiner's struggle to get out of bed and the sudden confusion that envelopes him as he stands in the middle of his room and doesn't know what to do next.
Also fuck Karina man, I hope she falls in the lake and freezes over 🌚 maybe she can take Mrs Leonhart with her too👀
I laughed SO hard xD Glad to know you all hate her! Horrible reptile indeed.
On a serious note, I think... the warrior parents (with the exception of Pieck's father who seems, for the lack of more information, quite nice actually) might've actually had their eyes opened to the cruelty they dealt their children, but such realizations imo aren't total 180s. Both Mr. Leonhart and Karina are different now, yes, they no doubt value Annie and Reiner as actual people more than just as tools, but... it's highly likely they both also continue to hurt their children, probably unwittingly. Parents who view their children as trophies do not easily come down to a level where they are content with just the happiness of said children. I won't get into Mr. Leonhardt right now (to be discussed at a later point), but while Karina might really love Reiner, his status as Hero and Ambassador is still valuable to her. He is still a trophy son, someone she can show off to others. I don't say Karina does this intentionally, but it is incredibly harmful behaviour, especially to a vulnerable son like Reiner.
Okay wait I rambled, sorry xD
CONNIE BTW, IS THE ONLY ONE WITH THE SINGLE VALUABLE BRAINCELL AT THE MOMENT (among the six). I hc he'd really love community projects - hence gingerbread town, it's kinda funny he'd be the only one so fired up about it xD That said poor guy has his work cut out for him now, so RIP Connie Boy.
I also want to take a moment to appreciate LEVI IN THIS CHAPTER
T_____T Father of several adoptive children humouring his idiot son's excitement over gingerbread-town - ISN'T IT A NICE PICTURE TO HAVE?!! Aaaahhhh I really loved writing him doing such a silly activity, it was very heartwarming. But where Levi is, there are also sarcastic one-liners and maybe I enjoyed those a little too much xD So glad to know you enjoyed them too, Stella, thank you T_T!
These passages... yeah xD Things have been too sad lately, it was time for the sillies! I'm incredibly glad this chapter made you laugh.
Thank you so much for the lovely words, you're too kind T^Tb
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💜🖤(Katakuri Head Canons)💜🖤
💚 = Lime/Lil Spicy
💛 = Lemon
💙 = Sad
❤️ = Angsty (won't do many of these unless prompted)
💜 = Fluff
💔 = Heartbreak (rare unless prompted)
🖤 = Normal
Okay, soo like I have at least 6 story ideas in my drafts, but they're gonna take forever to finish, and I feel I haven't posted much of anything for the few followers that I have, so here is (for once) a short drabble!~
I see these all the time, and my mind is just stuffed with this mochi man, so I gotta relieve some pressure!~ These are gonna be all over the place with how I think things about him are.~ Enjoy!~
<コ:彡ミ☆<コ:彡ミ☆<コ:彡ミ☆<コ:彡ミ☆<コ:彡ミ☆
🍩 I feel that sometimes people display Katakuri as so serious, mister grouchy grr grr all the time, but that's just because we mainly saw him when the Strawhat were literally being terrorists. Like, remember how blushy he got with Brulee after his fight?? (Refer to picture at top) This man is literally a softie inside and out with people he's comfortable with!~
🍩 If the incident with Brulee getting hurt as a child bc of him never happened, he'd be so silly with Daifuku and Oven!~
🍩 Like, he'd still be the most serious one, but they'd basically be like Luffy, Zoro and Sanji, haha!~ (I'm literally feral for fanart of those three doing silly shit together!~ 😭)
🍩 Cue Katakuri and Daifuku fighting 24/7 over stupid shit while Oven laughs on the side, and then Daifuku and Oven bantering like children while Katakuri just disassociates beside them.
🍩 I just imagined Katakuri in that tiny shirt Zoro had on in Water 7 while carrying all his little siblings, HELP-
🍩 This isn't a head canon but the one cover art of Katakuri finding out Luffy's the 5th Emperor and him laughing at it while eating donuts with Brulee and Cracker kills me everyday!~ 🥰 He looks so happy and relaxed with them, and his laugh is "BAHAHAHAHA"!!
🍩That cover art just proves he's the sweetest thing!~ He would TOTALLY fall into Strawhat shenanigans if he meets up with the crew again now that Big Mom is gone!~ Kind of like how Zoro is after the time Skip, reserved but still indulges from time to time.
🍩 On the Big Mom being gone note, he is definitely the new captain of the Big Mom Pirates, which he'd probably rename to the Charlotte Pirates or something to get away from Linlin's shadow.
🍩 I can just see Perospero coming home from Wano, all pissed and aggravated from being punched around like nothing by everybody there, yelling at his siblings to do things.
🍩They all just stare, blank faced, at him before pointing to Katakuri running things saying he's the new captain.
🍩 Peros would be livid, going on about how he's the oldest and how he almost DIED fighting alongside Mama in Wano.
🍩 And all of them are like, "Too bad, so sad, Big Brother Katakuri is better. Skill issue, ig- ¯\_(ツ)_/¯" And list all the healthy things he's been doing for the islands and family while Peros was gone.
🍩 Katakuri is standing right there, a little flustered at the open compliments, trying to tell them to at least give Peros a chance, but Peros is over it.
🍩 Bro just storms out, claiming he don't want the job no more! Petty af for a few days, grumbling about inefficiencies and punishments for stuff done wrong.
🍩 And Katakuri just shakes his head and says they don't do that anymore because it was hurting someone in the family.
🍩 Eventually, Peros sees all the things he's trying to change not just for the crew, but for how their entire family acts and lives.
🍩 They agree to co-captain just so Katakuri isn't left yet again with everything on his shoulders.
🍩 Katakuri's still busy but his siblings try harder to make him take more breaks, especially Brulee and Cracker.
🍩 It would take a while until he relents, kind of acting like Squidward in that one episode where he keeps coming back to the Krusty Krab thinking SpongeBob is gonna fuck everything up, haha!
🍩 It's not that he doesn't trust his siblings and their capabilities, he's just not used to NOT being needed to hold everything together.
🍩 Once he's relaxed in that aspect, I think he'd slowly come out of his shell and start to go out without his scarf.
🍩 At first it's just in his home, which freaks out his staff into thinking they're gonna die by seeing his full face, and then with some hyping from Brulee, he starts going out without it.
🍩He is absolutely a nervous WRECK walking around feeling so bare without it but the townspeople love him so much and say how handsome he is and how COOL his teeth are that he almost CRIES-
🍩 Like, you can't change my mind on this sappy thought bc remember how the people on Pudding's island were when she went back after the wedding to make the cake?? You can't tell me everyone living in Tottoland doesn't ADORE Katakuri, the man who is always protecting them and kept Big Mom in check the best he could all these years!!
🍩 It's so cute how he tries to pull up a scarf that isn't there when he's trying to hide an emotion, and when he realizes what he did it only makes him flustered! ☺️
🍩 Flampe is disgruntled, maybe even still let down, at this development and tries to trash talk him to her siblings, but for once everyone is like "Shut up, little girl, you're literally slandering your brother who loves you very much, wtf?" And she just shuts down!
🍩 I NEED to believe that Brulee like slapped or punished Flampe somehow when she heard all the things she did and said to Katakuri when he took off his scarf during his fight w/ Luffy! 🙏
🍩 Katakuri isn't mad or anything, just hurt, and tells Flampe that he hopes she can love him again, and finally gives her the pets she wanted but doesn't deserve and that makes her little less bratty
🍩 Katakuri's newfound courage to walk about without his scarf leads to Pudding being less ashamed about her third eye, and MAYBE she starts acting like her normal self with a hint of sadism here and there.
🍩 Secretly, Katakuri fiends for ANY new info on Luffy and his crew, talking about them with Brulee who is the only one willing to listen to his fanboy ass.
🍩 When it's revealed that Big Mom was defeated in Wano, he still thanks Luffy for it even though Kidd and Law are the ones that actually took her down.
🍩 It was a Luffy domino effect, so it counts as a Luffy win, trust 👍
🍩 Obviously, he keeps the black hat that Luffy left on him after his fight, and can't help but laugh every time he sees it sitting on his desk. It's a joy boy affect 🥺
🍩 I know Film Red isn't canon, but I can just imagine the aftermath of that with Brulee now being taken with Sanji like Pudding, and those two just gushing over the Strawhat cook to a disgruntled Katakuri who doesn't like the way they talk about the skirt chasing blonde.
🍩 Mochi man holds some respect for Sanji too since he heard how he refused to poison the cake he helped Pudding make for Mama during her hunger rampage. He saved his sibling's lives and much of their territory from being destroyed.
🍩 Still didn't stop him from rolling his eyes at every squeal over his chivalrous words and actions-
🍩 With Katakuri as the new captain, the Charlotte family actually starts healing and acting like a true family over time.
🍩 Katakuri makes sure that the youngest siblings don't grow up with the same traumas all of them grew up with, reassuring them in their appearances and abilities when he can.
🍩 He's an irredeemable villain to you, but he's my special little princess mochi man 🥰
<コ:彡ミ☆<コ:彡ミ☆<コ:彡ミ☆<コ:彡ミ☆<コ:彡ミ☆
That's all of my random thoughts and ideas for Katakuri and his family!~ I see why people do this, it's fun to just type what comes to mind and not have to make sure it's sensible in a story, haha!~ I might do one for him again but him with an S/O.~ Maybe him and a few other of my favorites.~
There's not enough for him, I swear I've read everything everywhere already, so now I must make everything I want myself.~ It's a curse to always like side characters that are shown to have depth but aren't given the screen time to explore it!~
Ugh, anyways, see you next time, dearies, I appreciate any feedback and interaction!~ Mwah mwah!~
#katakuri#Charlotte katakuri#big mom pirates#drabbles#charlotte katakuri drabbles#charlotte katakuri head canons#katakuri head canons#one piece#mochi man#big mom pirates head canons#knacks writes#one piece head canons#wano spoilers#whole cake island spoilers#one piece spoilers
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FINAL PART of my ofmd season 2 teaser analysis!
The last thing I want to talk about before I get into my predictions for the order of events is the constant "Ed wants to murder Stede" imagery and dialogue. We get Olu asking Stede "Do you think Blackbeard's gonna murder you?" And several other hints, like the knife throwing shot
And this shot, where it's clearly meant to represent Ed pointing a gun at Stede (near his heart?)
And then we get this shot of Ed holding the groom cake topper and saying "Fuck you, Stede Bonnet."
So clearly, there's some serious tension on Ed's side. I don't think their reunion is going to go very smoothly, at least at first. But I don't think it'll go bad in the end, as it's super clear Ed still loves Stede. Like, a lot. He's just mad at him for breaking his heart.
And, I'll add, while we are getting all of these hostile vibes from Ed, on Stede's end, there's NOTHING but love. He says he loves being near Ed, breathing the same air as him, he's always thinking about him (okay poet go off). Stede is so smitten and it's so heartbreaking and adorable at the same time.
Okay! On to my very loose prediction for a possible order of events, simply based on this trailer and the images Vanity Fair released.
So we will likely open with Olu looking through his telescope, spotting Stede approaching. They all reunite, and Stede asks where Ed and everyone else is. They explain what Ed did, and then Stede decides that they're all getting off the island and finding the Revenge. I'm guessing they all row away in stedes little boat (is it big enough for all of them?). They go to the nearest land mass, and end up on an island. I'm thinking this is the place where this picture is from.
And we get the scene of Stede grabbing the Wanted poster, telling his crew that Ed isn't a bad guy, etc. I'm guessing it's here that Stede asks around for information on Blackbeards' whereabouts. Maybe Stede doesn't find anything out, so he assumes Ed could be sailing to China, like they discussed on the beach. So they're off to China. But before that, there's a scene of Stede throwing his message in a bottle into the ocean. Also, my guess is that he wrote the note on the back of the wanted poster. Maybe he crossed some things off on the other side, like crossed out all the bad stuff and rewrote good stuff. All sappy-like.
Then, I'm guessing still in the first episode, maybe the beginning of the second, we see our first scene of Ed's crew. It starts with the wedding scene, and then we cut to Ed saying "objection" and the chaos ensues. Ed grabs the cake toppers and then later on we have the scene of Ed placing his painted bride topper next to the Stede one. Also maybe when he says to the stede topper "fuck you Stede Bonnet," he'll throw it overboard? That would be another symbolism of "Ed is gonna try and kill Stede, or at least he feels like he wants to in the moment." We can get a nice ominous shot of the topper sinking into the murky ocean.
So Stede's group is on their way to China, and stop at the floating market maybe? And maybe thats where they meet Anne Bonny. Not sure how that will go down. But later on they arrive at China, somewhere along the way meet Susan, and we get the scene of Olu asking Stede if Blackbeard will murder him, and also we'll get Stede's crew in their Chinese outfits. Also probably the scene with Buttons and the Chinese pirates.
What I'm wondering about this image in particular is what are they so surprised/happy about? They are probably seeing a familiar face(s). If it's the crew of Ed's Revenge, this could be where they all find each other again (without Ed, because he's on a beach somewhere). Or maybe it's just Lucius somehow?
So at some point in the middle of all this we might cut to the knife throwing scene with Ed and Izzy, and then maybe after the big storm will hit. That will throw Ed overboard, and the Revenge will be left without a captain once more. Izzy will be very concerned and determined to find Edward, but maybe he will unwittingly lead the crew back to Stede's group in the process?
Okay so once everyone is reunited, Izzy isn't on great terms with Stede, but he could use his help finding Ed, so they form an alliance. Stede gets his ship back, and they are on their way to find Ed. Along the way, we see the "I did a punch!" scene, I'm guessing that happens because the Revenge stormed another vessel? And Izzy agrees to train Stede, hence the sword scene with the candles. Maybe they're training for an upcoming battle? The Vanity Fair article did mention that two armies would be present during the season, one side being Chinese pirates and the other side being navy officers.
And of course we will get scenes of Ed on the beach, having to fend for himself. His makeup will be gone and his beard will have grown a bit longer, which is how we know a bit of time has passed. I wonder if Ed's time on the island will be good or bad for him. Maybe the isolation and time to think, and cool off, will allow him to warm back up to Stede? This could lead to him finding the message in a bottle, too. It would be a pretty funny coincidence.
So I'm thinking that Stede and Ed reuniting happens after a few episodes, maybe episode 4? It would parallel the first season, as Ed didn't show up until episode 3/4. And there's some animosity at first, but they still love each other, so they make up again. Hopefully with that "major romantic moment" Vanity Fair mentioned! And then there will be a build up to the final battle.
And then there's this image, where Ed is wearing Buttons' jacket and sitting next to Spanish Jackie, who looks to be dressed up.
This seems like a potentially sweet scene. Ed has no makeup, his beard is longer (like this photo)
So its obviously later in the season, and he appears to be staring at something/someone lovingly. I'm guessing he's looking at Stede, and this is near the end of the season where everything has calmed down and the whole crew is having fun. Maybe they're finally doing their talent show?
Then of course we have the "Izzy loves Edward" plot line that will surely tug at our heartstrings. I'm looking forward to seeing how that plays out!
Ok, so that's all I've got at the moment. Feel free to tell me your thoughts/predictions in the comments! Here's hoping we get a full length trailer before October so I can analyze some more!
#ofmd season 2#ofmd s2#ofmd#stede x ed#edward teach#ed x stede#stede bonnet#our flag means death#our flag means death season 2#gentlebeard#blackbonnet#lgbtq#trailer analysis#analysis#theory
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sally and wilbur are also such an interesting complicated relationship.
they're so so young when they meet and fall in love and have a baby. they're living in this shitty 2 bedroom flat where tommy's practically sleeping in a cupboard and the heating's broken and nothing works, but they don't really care but for different reasons.
for wilbur it's because he's used to not having much, and this life is something he worked so so hard towards that he doesn't care about the quality because for him, being free and having tommy in his custody and being able to earn money is all he's ever dreamed of, because he never felt like he was allowed or there was any point in dreaming better (also because he never thought about living a life for himself outside of tommy because in his mind, if it wasn't for the responsibility to care for him, he would have killed himself long ago; and so there's no point in dreaming things for himself because he doesn't have a life outside being the provider ANYWAYY) .
meanwhile sally, who comes from a much more stable background (both emotionally and financially), is in a headspace where she's much more. romanticising it i want to say? like she's a very wild person, especially at that time where's still really young (19-20), she wants to get out in the world and live with her boyfriend and she doesn't care about living in a shitty flat because it's true love and it's an adventure!
but the thing is, when things start actually getting serious, when she gets pregnant, she gets scared.
because the reason she was okay with that life is because she liked the freedom of it, the whole "living on the edge"; and having a baby is expectations and responsibility and being tied down. she considers not keeping the baby, but then she tells herself she'll be fine with it, that she loves wilbur and he's clearly over the moon at the news, and she doesn't want to disappoint him and she'll probably end up fine (obviously she's very young hence why she makes that choice but i just want to note wilbur would obviously never have been shitty about something like that. he Was really happy about the baby and yeah maybe there woudlve been disappointment, but he 100% would've supported her. it's just sally is very lost and confused and she doesn't know what to do or how to communicate that).
and so they have the baby and wilbur's so in love and overjoyed, and for him this is it. yes they still live in a shitty flat, living off three minimum wages (he has 2 jobs), to sustain two adults a baby and a teenager, but they'll make it work because they're in love and everything. i'm telling you, that man is ready to propose, he even saved up to buy a ring. for him, fundy's birth is proof that he's finally achieved his dream of having an actually stable family, with people that love him, and yeah it's hard right now but things are only gonna look up from now on.
but for sally it's vastly different, because she left home with all these ideas of living by herself and making it on her own and experiencing life but she just. doesn't know how to deal with this. she's terrified because she knows she's not as responsible as wilbur, who's had to act as a parent to tommy since he was a kid, who never had a childhood but who can handle heavy responsibilities.
she's scared of being tied down at 20 when she hasn't lived yet, whereas wilbur is in the direct opposite headspace where he never even thought he would make it to 20.
and so she leaves when fundy is just three months old, and it fucking wrecks wilbur.
like this isn't just a 20 yr old heartbreak, it's not just getting ghosted and dumped and not knowing why, it's having all his fragile hopes of building something good, a family, finally having someone by his side who would stick by him and help him and love him, completely shatter to the ground. it hurts even more because he's been lulled in a false sense of security where he thought they were on the same page when they were on like. completely different BOOKS, to continue the metaphor.
he still has the ring in his closet, but sally wasn't ready to get married at all. and already for secure adults this kind of breakup (being in love but with different goals) would already be something hard to accept and move forward from, but wilbur is. neither secure nor an adult despite what he claims. he's twenty and he's never been loved by anyone other than his little brother for more than a couple months and he thought this was it. it was like a fairytale, in a way, and it's really naive because just like sally, he's a kid!! they were in love but they never communicated well and they never talked about serious stuff like this.
and he's heartbroken and angry and devastated and also so embarrassed- i mean really, buying a wedding ring, he was getting way ahead of himself, as if sally would ever want to stay with him like that.
and it's back to square one, in a way. he's back to where he was at 18, freshly graduated from high school with 2 jobs, tommy finally in his custody, barely making ends meet, and so so lonely (hadn't met niki or any other of his friends yet, quackity was long gone to harvard). except now he has a baby, so it's even harder because he loves fundy so much but now he has to provide for a newborn and a teenager on his own, on top of dealing with the breakup.
but what i love about their relationship is also how it matures. once they've moved on, they never develop romantic feelings again for each other, but they do learn to work together and eventually be friends, for fundy's sake. mind you, that takes YEARS. after she ghosts him, wilbur doesn't have any sort of contact with her for at least three or four years, until he really needs help and he swallows his pride and asks for child support.
she still isn't fundy's mother, or is ready to be, but she does want to help how she can to try to make up for things. it's very stilted, because fundy doesn't know her, and wilbur's trying to be mature and helpful but he's still hurting.
after that, it's a long long time of awkwardly tiptoeing around each other and only texting to say they've picked fundy up from school or that they forgot his pyjamas, etc. she does build a sort-of relationship with fundy, and when fundy's like 6-7 he starts spending every second weekend at her house. they'll never be as close as fundy and wilbur are (or even fundy and quackity when he moves in with them but that's another post), but she's trying.
and with wilbur, they eventually become friends again. after years of working together for fundy, they do start to talk more and be friendlier. this is only possible because wilbur finally feels like he's moved on, especially now being with quackity in a much healthier & mature relationship, and so even though he forgave her a long time ago, now he actually feels comfortable talking to her normally.
she does feel really guilty about leaving for so long, but they talk about it, and it helps them both a lot, especially wilbur who spiralled trying to figure out why he did wrong to push her away, so learning it was a matter of not being ready was really healing for him.
so yeah i love how they grow from that, from being kids in love but not communicating, to adult friends who can actually talk to each other. she even goes to wilbur's and quackity's wedding!!
#writing my 11th novel of the night on the au#alex.rambles.txt#c!wilbur#sally the salmon#mcyt#the fostering au
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Hey there. I'm sending this to you because I think you've expressed similar sentiments in the past and I'm feeling it extra since Liam's passing, but I'm just so fucking sad and bitter about how everything turned out. I was feeling it even before Liam died and now I'm worried I'll never be able to move past it. Things like: the band only lasting 5 years, the boys embarking on full-on solo careers without any intention of reuniting in between, the boys never sucking things up and getting together to give fans just ONE group photo since hiatus, Harry and Louis (closeted or not) not being able to act like normal band mates for one moment. Just all the weirdness and reading between lines when things could have been soo different. It makes me so sad.
forever bitter about the "lads holiday" in this house
on a more serious note, i agree with you. i can't really blame any of them for running away the second they could, album tour album tour album tour was clearly killing them and they didn't deserve to be exploited like that, especially as kids
but it does hurt that 1d seems to have left such a bittersweet feeling behind that we weren't even close to anything like reconciliation before this happened. it took the death of one of the members for them to all be in the same place together, and isn't that just heartbreaking?
we could've been the greatest team that the world has ever seen, in a better world
#i've expressed in the past that while i like how happy they are as solo artists#nothing will ever be like those years for me#sorry i'm a little all over the place#i'm tired and sad and tired of being sad#something something fall out boy one day we'll get nostalgic for disaster#love you anon#sorry you're feeling this way but also i'm right here with you <3#sam says shit
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For the asks : Northwest Passage and/or captain please ?
- @strogoff-era
Northwest Passage: GOODSIR!! My best friend Goodsir... Honestly I love all the doctors.. I do I do.. except Peddie (sorry babe). But Goodsir was my favourite character HANDS DOWN first time I watched the show, abso-lutely and he still sits up there in my favourite character tier list (note: every character is on the same tier bc I love all of them sm). Im such a sucker for doctor characters, I'm serious. And characters that are hopeful and optimistic and GOOD hearted. Idk why I gravitate towards those characters so much but it's definitely what happened here. Also, I really value platonic friendships in media and I love Goodsir and Silna for that (I know some ppl ship them, that'd totally fine!! I just see em more as siblings ♥️) Literally I have watched the show maybeee.. 9 times now? And every. Time. Silna comes across his body, I am a sobbing mess (my friends can testify). His death scene is so fucking heartbreaking dude don't even talk to me about it. I can't!!
Captain: I think I posted my answer on a discord server a while ago which sums up my thoughts on my favourite cold boy, which is Hickey? Though to be honest, please remember that I love all the cold boys so much .. it's genuinely IMPOSSIBLE for me to pick one but I guess I think about Hickey the most ahaha. So I'll post it here just be warned I wrote a lot. I was, in a mood that day I guess. Also everyone might disagree with my interpretation of Hickey, but, yeah. Sorry ig!
Putting aside the INCREDIBLE acting from Nagaitis, I just find Hickey SO INTERESTING to explore. He is a character you simply can *not pin down*. You never truly know what he's thinking. He can be cruel one moment, loving and tender the next, absolutely unnerving the other, insane, and then sympathetic? (get you a man that has it all?).
Like I think it's easy to pin Hickey down as a insane murderer with no feelings and NO compassion but we just see that isn't true and THAT is probalby at the heart of why I love his character so much. He has layers. He's not just one thing, he's not confined to a box, and he is incredibly hard to read and that makes it really fun! It's so fucking fun watching the show the second time and seeing him in a TOTALLY different light!
I think the entire mystery surrounding his real name and who he really is helps a lot because it leaves SO much room for speculation, like- I really lkove thinking about who he was before the expedition and stuff! Nagaitis said he read a lot of Jean Genet for his character, nI agree! The way he thinks as a character is just endlessly interesting to me. Like, there's that quote from Terror Camp that drives me up the wall: How Crozier is his great test, his soulmate, his friend--a person that has been put into Hickey's world to 'test' him, for Hickey to 'overcome', and additionally, how he thinks of himself in the world is so fascinating. Like he doesn't believe he had parents. he just thinks he appeared one day. Like that is just so fucking crazy I love it. He's just so easy and fun to hate too especially by the end. Like omfg first couple watches I fucking hated him sm. I still cheer when Tuunbaq eats him 🥳🫶
I think it's just the layers of his character that really intrigue me and make him my favourite, because I can just watch any one of his scenes and just be constantly fascinated by what he might be thinking, why he says that, why he did this and that. I also think that, despite his cruelty, he does actually have a heart. Like, I posted some art on Tumblr the other day with a quote referencing how its impossible for him to connect--and that's true I think, *at the end*. I think at the start of the show Hickey's character, despite being very mischevious, a thief, and an anarchist, actually has a rather hopeful trajectory.
So there's that, it's funny bc I find Hickey incredibly creepy post episode 7. Like to the point I had to stop watching on my first watch after he killed Irving bc it freaked me out so much lolol. But that's part of why he's just a very interesting character to me and I love Nagaitis' acting as well. I'm gonna stop b4 I clog up more.
Thanks for the ask! ♥️🫶✨
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Notes and an Update: Astarion, Tav, and Trauma in Stories
Pictured above: actual footage of trauma response from Astarion (j/k! kinda!) to catch your eye :D
Hey glittercats and cosmic kittens!
So I've definitely been neglecting the updates here, which I'm going to try to do better with.
We're up to Chapter 11 on this bad boy, and I've adjusted the anticipated chapter count to 30 (but honestly it's probably still all lies because I have absolutely no sense of how much writing each point on my outline ends up being loool).
I have a DOPE beta who's fucking amazing both in terms of conventions and idea partnership and I'm telling you right now, this story is so much better for having their hands and eyes on it.
SOME CONTENT WARNING STUFF RE: THIS CHAPTER:
Alcohol use disorder (AUD) and symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
.
.
.
MORE DETAILS ON THIS -- SPOILERS AHEAD, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK
So hopefully that's enough room for people who don't want to be spoiled to escape!
So I'm going to copy/paste the end note on the story, and expand on it a little bit.
So, although Tav is a "good drunk," as Frank Gallagher might put it, she is 1000% engaging in pretty serious substance abuse, or to be more specific in this chapter, alcohol use disorder. I'm not going to go into the way this story is going to approach mental and behavioral health disorders and trauma; hopefully it will speak for itself. Suffice it to say substance abuse and trauma are not the central subject of this story, but also, Astarion and Tav as they exist in this little pocket dimension of the BG3 universe have been impacted by the trauma they've each experienced both together and as individuals. In general, the impact of trauma can look and feel a lot of ways. Sometimes it's horrifying, sometimes it's heartbreaking, sometimes it's rage-inducing - but let's be honest, sometimes that shit is funny, too, because humor is such an incredible survival tactic / coping mechanism. Even if sometimes we're laughing at shit that shouldn't be funny. (Maybe especially then.) This story isn't going to be an after-school special or a PSA. It's a story about people, and sometimes people are fucked up (literally and figuratively). Anyway, I'll get off my soapbox now. If this has activated you, or you have earnest questions or concerns about what's going on in this story / with these characters, or you just want to shoot the shit, hit me up on my tumblr. There might be more notes there on this eventually, but for now, this chapter actually took a lot out of me and I'm still out here with these perpetual COVID symptoms, so... lol NOT TONIGHT. As always, thank y'all for reading, kudosing, and commenting.
OK, so I may have lied about the no notes part... but honestly, in re-reading that note, I think it kind of gets to the point.
But ALSO...
I've been a geek on the internet for a long, long time. I've engaged with different fan-based writing and roleplaying communities (tabletop, chat-based, forum-based, butt-based -- EVERYTHING) for pretty much the entire time.
"The Tragic Backstory" seems like it's been A Whole Thing since people started creating characters whether for roleplay or stories.
I think times have changed somewhat, but back in the day I ran in circles where a lot of thoughts about writing, creating characters, roleplay, etc. coexisted somewhat peacefully, but an old chestnut that consistently (maybe without fail) turned up in any conversation that involved Writers of Quality was a contingent of folks who had deep disdain for The Tragic Backstory.
I'm talkin' some deep, scathing, elitist shit, my beautiful people.
And I'm not gonna lie to you! This is approximately ten thousand years ago (no but seriously, decades), and honestly, I was up in those conversations, too, throwing around my disdain, assured by my fellow elitists that even though I frequently employed some form of Tragic Backstory, it was OK when I did it because it was good.
I mean in retrospect, it's kinda bullshit. There's always gonna somebody who's gonna think your shit's good, and there's also always gonna be somebody who thinks they're a Better Writer Than You who's gonna think your shit is... well, shit.
Not gonna lie, I still have very strong and particular preferences when it comes to the fic I read in general, and that includes backstory.
But over time, I got progressively less insecure (not just about my writing, but in general) and consequently less concerned with judging writing that's not my flavor as "bad" or "shitty" or "juvenile" (looool seriously, I was a dick) and more concerned with finding and creating writing that is my flavor.
However, and I don't think I'm going to apologize for it, some dickish tendencies linger in my soul. I'm going to try and frame these thoughts in terms of what compels me in a story I'm reading and what I do (or try to do) in my own writing.
This is a very long way of saying if something I say (or have already said) makes you feel like I'm coming for your neck, please know that I'm not.
My thoughts and/or opinions may cause you or someone you love to feel Some Type of Way. That is not my intention. I have no desire to:
Yuck anyone's yum
Contribute to or activate the crippling self-doubt that plagues almost every creative I've ever met
Be a dick.
Having said all that, I do have Thoughts on This Matter.
People write for a lot of reasons, but I'm fairly convinced that nobody's doing it with any level of purity. There are tons of incredible, beautiful, moving stories that feature a whole-ass Self-Insert, maybe even the dreaded Mary Sue.
(lol lookin' at you Dante's Inferno, Tyrion Lannister from A Song of Ice and Fire, and countless others lol)
People write to explore topics and themes that interest them, that compel them, that they see recurring in the world around them and/or their own lives.
One of those things is trauma.
In my writing, I approach trauma, disordered behaviors, dysfunction, dysregulated emotions, etc. (topics both of great interest to me and, not coincidentally, ones with which I have a great deal of personal experience) from a place of wanting fervently to tell the truth.
And I'm pretty good writing some things that feel true.
But I know that in some ways, I've shied away from harder truths; from using my writing and the characters I create not only as reflections of what I see in the world, but as accurate (rather than idealized) reflections of myself.
Because of this, while I've explored redemption arcs in roleplaying games (where being cheesy or facile or juvenile or fulfilling personal fantasies felt much safer than on a page), I've skirted neatly around it, I think, in my writing (for the most part). Because I absolutely was the girl who wanted to "save" or "fix" the wounded (and emotionally unavailable, and/or abusive, and/or toxic) lover. I wanted stories about it. I wanted to roll around in that narrative, bathe in it, eat it up for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
All while occupying the role/perspective of The Good One / The Good Girl whether in a game or in a story I was consuming.
But it's not the truth. Not the whole truth, at least. Not for me, anyway.
My admiration, respect, regard, and all the other good words for the writing and acting in Baldur's Gate 3 cannot be overstated. Each of the "origin" characters (and honestly, any character "Tav" has the opportunity to even have a conversation with, much less spend a significant amount of time with) is thoughtfully and truthfully written. I see this more in some than others, but that depth and breadth of understanding about human beings -- sorry, sentient beings -- shows up all over the place and honestly I almost can't stand how much I love it.
I'm not going to say that there's no character I feel this as deeply with as Astarion, but... idk, sometimes.
But there's no need to quantify this. Astarion is one of a number of characters from the game that I'm low-key obsessed with.
As such, when I decided to take on the story outcome in which, in my opinion, he throws all the growth, all the processing, all the truth and reconciliation I saw him moving toward in the game into a fucking woodchipper, I did not want it to be easy.
I get wanting it to be easy, and there are delicious, delicious fics out there that go this route. I think anybody who writes Ascendant Astarion at least flirts with it.
And it's not a binary; it's not either, "OMG this is completely uncomplicated, I love you I'm your spawn and it's just like if you hadn't ascended except your SUPER EXTRA POWERFUL AND SEXY AND HOT AND WHOOPS THERE GO MY PANTIES" (which, tbh... lool I'm not mad at) or "ASTARION IS IRREDEEMABLE LET ME WRITE OF HIS TRAGIC DEMISE AND TAV'S TRAGIC WITNESS TO IT / ENGINEERING OF IT." Which I'm ALSO not mad at, because THOSE THINGS CAN BE TRUE.
But while I'm subscribed to some stories that follow those paths or ones like them, and when I get that notification it's time to STOP THE PRESSES bc mama needs to READ, for me the challenge of this is if I'm going to continue Astarion and Tav's love story (or rekindle it lol), I want to honor the four years of intense character work Neil Newbon and Stephen Rooney and honestly the whole goddamn BG3 team from soup to nuts have done by considering "What would really happen here" as brutally as possible.
Komo, my incredible thought partner-cum-beta, can tell you about the pages of back and forth between us about "fml, how can we make this story work and maintain fidelity to the integrity* of these characters???? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY"
*not personal integrity -- meta shit. The integrity of their arcs, development, personalities, histories, traumas, etc.
SO. Back to trauma.
I said in my end note for chapter 11 that this story is not an after-school special (which looool probably at least some of you are like wtf are you talking about my dude and I'm like looooool omg life before kids were a whole target demographic unto themselves - kind of lol) or a PSA.
Which alludes to the fact that YES, I want to tell the truth about the ugliness of this relationship and the individuals in it with nuance and empathy and sensitivity; that I want to write about the pain and harm and longing and ache and all of it in ways that are neither hyperbolic nor diminishing.
But also, look, my darling motherfuckers, my comrades in fuckery, whoever's made it this far into this rambling monster of a -- whatever the fuck this is lool -- PEOPLE WHO HAVE TRAUMA ALSO HAVE FUN.
SOMETIMES EVEN WHEN THEY ARE ENGAGING IN BEHAVIORS THAT ARE DESTRUCTIVE TO THEMSELVES AND/OR OTHERS.
I don't think I've sufficiently unpacked this part to dig down much deeper into it, but what I will say is that this is not going to be a passion play about Poor Tav or Drugs Are Bad, Mmkay? or anything else.
What this is going to be (or at least, what I passionately want it to be) is -- framed with a delicious little fake-dating muffin of an emotional MacGuffin -- a portrait of some people in all (or lordt jebus please let me achieve at least MOST) of their complexity.
ALL OF IT.
Lordt Baby Jebus, Allah, Milal, Great Spaghetti Monster, ANYBODY
(not Lolth lol)
hear my prayer!
Aight, that's all I've got for today. <3
If you made it this far, PM me and tell me something you want to see in the story! I'll make you a treat.
And if it don't fit in the story, I might be able to make a li'l drabble happen.
COMING SOON to Writing Notes Storytime:
Identity in this story and in stories in general
The Good, the Bad, and the Neutral: Alignment and Astarion (and some other ppl, too!) in BG3, DnD, and This Story lol
Stuff I'm forgetting bc I'm STILL not over this never-ending COVID fuckery
#ascended astarion#astarion x tav#astarion fic#bg3 fic#meta meta meta!#writing trauma#story notes#characterization#writing tropes#slow burn#banter#bard!tav#manipulative astarion#tav's insight proficiency tho#female friendship is magic#these tags a hot mess an ionca#messy tav#evil astarion#idek what to tag this for anymore#just making up tags now#this story was brought to you in part by bjork#also 90s trip hop#also Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds#also possibly a gummy OOPS
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Only Friends Character Rankings - Ep 7
WHY can't I stop laughing? Oh this ep gets even more fun the more I think about it.
(except for you, Sand. You are just annoying me)
Favorite Characters (From Most to Least Fave atm):
MEW. I don't care, he was doing the most this ep and I loved it. I love that he matched his outfits to his new villain arc. I love a guy with a great sense of the dramatic. Like just keep bringing this energy Mew.
I am not mad about a single thing he did this ep. You keep slaying, sweetie.
On a more serious note, I feel bad for him. Dude is suffering and he really doesn't have anyone who just wants to be there for him. Boston and Top are right out because they're the cause, Ray ain't it because frankly, all he cares about is finally getting Mew for himself just like he always wanted, Chueam is way too busy thinking about how this makes her a bad friend...
This isn't just Mew's revenge arc. He's gonna spiral and he's not around the right kind of people to see that and help him. Ray won't care because he's also spiraling and he's incapable of not dragging down whoever's closest to him by virtue of the way he's spiraling, we already know that Chueam is kinda useless.
It would be kind of funny if Top winds up being the only one who cares enough to yank him out of his downward trajectory.
Ray. All he do is win, win, win, no matter what. Got Mew's love on his mind and he can never get enough. And when he sees Mew's on the rebound, every hand he has goes up
I can't even be mad at him. Dude is getting what he wants - he had Sand crawling up his ass and being sweet right after his accident and taking care of him like he likes without even having to pretend to be sorry for being an asshole, and he gets to worm his way into Mew's affections the way he's always wanted. And the most he'll probably suffer for it is Sand being pissy at him for five minutes. Like. if Mew hadn't been so fucking hot all over this ep I would have to do the unthinkable and put him in as number one.
I am also getting a huge kick out of the fact that Boston was right. He did exactly what Boston said he'd do, hahaha gosh I know I said I don't like being right but that was a lie, I feel so validated in pretty much everything I ever said about Ray and his feelings for both Mew and Sand. He's awful. You go baby.
On a slightly more serious note, the dad was about what I expected, although frankly he wasn't as bad as he could have been. He kinda reminds me of all of Ray's friends, in that this has been going on forever and he just doesn't know what to do anymore. But there's still the thing with Ray's mom - did he not care about her? I just don't know. But if he did, seeing Ray do the same shit must be heartbreaking.
The fact that he was more upset about the car than his kid makes me think not, though, lol.
Also I want him to have offered Sand money to keep Ray out of trouble and for Sand to take him up on it. I know I won't get that but gosh, it would make me respect Sand a whole lot more and it would make his continued involvement with Ray make more sense to me.
Boston. Yes, you read that right. I actually felt really bad for him this ep. Yeah he knew no one would like what he did with Top, which is why he hid it, but I genuinely started getting upset that everyone keeps recording him and then threatening to (or actively) using it against him. Like yes, yes, he did take photos and video of Ray and Mew kissing, and that was wrong. But that's the thing. Both the show and everyone else treats it like it is wrong. Literally no one is acting like what happened to Boston is. And it is. It's fucked up.
Also, while I enjoyed Boston getting yeeted into the pool and I'm not mad at Mew for having some revenge, I feel like we got some real insight into Boston this ep. I think he genuinely just doesn't view sex and relationships the way his friends do. Like he really thought that Mew would just yell at him and get it out of his system and that would be that. It's just a disconnect on a fundamental level. I also find it interesting that he's still calling them friends even after the bust up.
Also, I just like him.
Top. He fucked up, he knows he fucked up. I haven't been mad at him for a while and I still think he actually likes Mew. I remember way way back when he slept with Boston I was waffling between his utter fury either being about feeling played or because he was genuinely hurt. Not that either makes it right, I'm just thinking now that hurt was what it was, maybe he thought it was a fun time before but shit got real fast and now he's sitting there half heartbroken because he actually went and started to like the guy that he maybe only thought was a challenge. Oops.
I don't know. Top can be nasty, he does a great job playing the prick when he wants to and I'm not really into his and Ray's pissing contests over Mew, but I also feel like he'd rather be the guy he is with Mew.
Chueam. She was better this ep and I laughed my ass off at her trying to hose down Top when he and Ray got into it. I also liked that she was the one who was like "great so do we want this fucking A or not?" about the hostel. But girl, if you're planning the party next ep you should know better.
Nick. Baby boy. Honey. You are such a mess but I kinda feel for you, finally. I really enjoyed his breakdown with Sand. It's pathetic but well at least he owns it, I guess. He should fuck Sand and Papang's character to get over his feelings. But please don't bug either of their cars babe.
Sand. So my trajectory on Sand this ep was WILD. I appreciate that he owned his responsibility in the whole blowup at the bar (probably a little too much but well, that's Sand for you) and with Nick. What he did to Nick in particular was shitty and he knows it and he should own up to it (yes Nick recorded the thing I'm not discounting that or acting like it isn't awful. Still).
But he's really frustrating me right now. I said I would defend all his wrongs and that is still true, you can't help who you fall for and for whatever reason Sand is all in on this loser and he won't stop. I get this.
But damn he's so pathetic. What he's doing isn't romantic. It's just sad, and the worst part about it is that he doesn't have a friend to tell him he's being pathetic. I would like to tell him he's being pathetic. Nancy, take it away:
I'm not even mad at him. I just - I've seen way too many people do this shit in real life to find it cute or sweet or think anything other than Sand is a moron who needs to learn to value himself and his time a lot more than he does. We can't choose who we love but we can choose how we let them treat us, and this letting Ray use him whenever he's bored or in need of a caretaker thing just isn't a good look.
I'm not mad, Sand, I'm just disappointed.
Relationships (Fave to Least Fave atm)
Sand & Nick. I want them to make out.
Mew & Nick. I wonder if they will talk again. I liked their one scene together. I was shocked Nick told Mew about the second sex tape but I guess by that point he was just done with it. Maybe that was Nick washing his hands of Boston. I mean, I doubt it. But it would be nice if one of the Pathetic Duo got his shit together.
Mew & Boston. Look whatever that scene at Boston's house was hot and I need them to fuck about it.
TopMew. What can I say, they're finally doing it for me. The preview has me seated, I don't care about Top and Ray's pissing match but I do like Top being there for Mew at his lowest. Genuinely, if we're gonna come out of this with endgame ships and not just everyone going their own ways I now think it might be these two who manage it. And that is insane to me.
BostonNIck. These two are weird to me, because I feel it, but it's like - Nick wants Boston to love only him which he also translates into sleeping with only him. Boston might actually wind up in love with Nick but monogamy just ain't his style. Truly though I think that the biggest problem that they have is that Nick bugged Boston's car. LOL I feel like if they'd had that "I just want you to love only me" discussion in any other context they'd actually come out differently. And honestly I agree with Boston what the FUCK, Nick. I do love me some mess so maybe it's that part of me talking but if you weren't planning on using the recording why even fucking bother? Just to hurt yourself? What's the point?
MewRay & SandRay. I genuinely don't know which I like worse, lol. I do think that Mew will make Ray cry though so I'm into that. Mew's rebounding hard and sorry but Book's not playing it like Mew even wants Ray (although that dancing scene was nice they are very pretty together), he's playing it like he's settling for someone he knows will never leave him. But I saw somewhere that Ray's probably gonna get even more possessive about him after this and yep. Probably.
I would like Sand to make Ray cry but he won't. I used to have hope that it would be Sand to finally get tired and walk away but now I'm thinking it'll have to be Ray, because Sand is to Ray what Ray is to Mew. At least with Ray > Mew I understand it. But I don't get what Ray brings to the table that has Sand so all in on him, aside from that's how the script says it's gonna go. I thought I did for a bit, but it feels more and more like Sand isn't a character when it comes to Ray, he's a cipher. He just loves Ray because we need someone to love Ray and give us that sweet sweet pining angst we all love so much. Doesn't matter if it makes sense, we'll just cast First Kanaphan in the role and no one will care because he's lovely and he does pining so well.
And i get what people are saying about how this show is deconstructing all these relationship tropes, but it still doesn't explain to me why Sand even wants this guy, sorry. He's done the bare minimum and Sand's over here googly eyeing and I'm just.
What I wish is that Sand decides fuck it and takes dad's money to try to sober Ray up, but my guess is that he already said no because Sand has already said that he doesn't put a price on either friendship or love. Too bad he's the only one who feels either when it comes to this particular relationship. But my guess is that Ray will find out that the offer was made and flip out as if Sand took it because all that matters to Ray is Ray.
Well. So long as Sand doesn't do something epically stupid like getting himself arrested for property damage or taking the blame for Ray's mistakes, in ten years he'll look back on this time in his life and just be like "wow, I was really fucking stupid huh." Frankly if that's all he has to deal with he's doing better than the rest of these losers.
Well. Maybe not Mew.
In Conclusion
I think we're heading for a true everyone alone ending and I love that for all of them. Jojo you legend.
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How are pocket knives illegal in Australia. What the fuck. What are you supposed to do for the dozens of basic things you need a knife for? Cutting string? Plants? A cardboard box??
Normal pocket knives are banned in most states; some types are banned federally.
If you have a "lawful excuse", you can have a knife. The main case is needing it for your job: most trades need a multitool, cooks can have kitchen knives. New South Wales explicitly allows religious reasons, which covers kirpans.
In theory "lawful entertainment, recreation or sport" is a "lawful excuse", but it's really up to the individual cop whether you really need a knife for camping.
What are you supposed to do for the dozens of basic things you need a knife for?
Mostly you're supposed to go fuck yourself.
For string or plants, you can use scissors or pruning shears — I've never heard of anyone getting in trouble for those.
For cardboard, you're supposed to bring the box home (or into your place of work or whatever) and cut it there. You're allowed to have knives at home, this country isn't that crazy — knives are only banned in public places and schools.
The law is mostly not enforced, so lots of people roll the dice on it. But they're cracking down more lately in New South Wales and Victoria (and West Australia will probably follow). Note the absurd quotes in those articles:
Attorney-General Michael Daley said there were too many young people "who think it is okay to put a knife into their pocket to carry out their daily business". "The worrying thing is that, if they are open to carrying it, then they are probably open to using it," he said.
Police Minister Anthony Carbines: "Knives are a dangerous weapon. They can inflict serious harm and heartbreak and no one has an excuse to carry one in every day life."
I don't know if that's their actual view and they think picnics are a depraved activity, or if they just want an excuse to expand police powers.
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as promised, here is:
grishaverse ships as taylor swift songs!!
malina - im only me when im with you
THE childhood friends to lovers song!!
just a small town boy and girl! living in a crazy world! trying to figure out what is and isn't true!!
and I'm only me when I'm with you!!!
don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground!!
it's SO malina
darkl!na - dear john (censoring the ship name so it doesn't show up in tags!)
sksadgshdh I had to
on a serious note it does fit very very well
don't you think I was too young to be played by your dark twisted games!! regret how I ignored when they said run as fast as you can!!
you'll add my name to your long list of traitors!!!! the darkl!ng literally DID add her name to a list of traitors sjdhshdgjdhd
genyadavid - paper rings <3
it's just..... so cute and soft, I love it sm
and you know something? david DOES like shiny things and he WOULD marry her with paper rings!!
nikolina - getaway car
taylor literally wrote this song for nikolina, I take no criticism
you were driving the getaway car!! we were flying but we'd never get far!! should've known I'd be the first to leave!!
no but they LITERALLY met in a getaway car. they were LITERALLY flying. but they didn't get far.
I'm sorry I will never shut up about this ever
ANYWAY!!
kanej - renegade
that one scene in soc where inej goes "I will have you without armour or I will not have you at all"
it's literally just GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER SO I CAN LOVE YOU!
there was nowhere for me to stay but I stayed anyway!! you wouldn't be the first renegade to need somebody!!!
GOD the accuracy of this is killing me.
I can't lie I could write a whole essay on every line of this song and how perfectly it fits kanej.....
you fire off missiles cause you hate yourself but don't you know you're demolishing me!! let all your damage damage me!!
wesper - enchanted
idk how to explain this one it's just the Vibes
walls of insincerity.... playful conversation starts, counter all your quick remarks
just the whole thing where they first meet reminds me SO MUCH of enchanted I can't even
helnik - miss americana and the heartbreak prince
.....yet another that I could write a whole fucking essay on
nina IS miss americana!!
my team is losing! battered and bruising!
boys will be boys then, where are the wise men!
IT'S YOU AND ME THAT'S MY WHOLE WORLD, THEY WHISPER IN THE HALLWAY SHE'S A BAD BAD GIRL
and I'll never let you go!! cause I know this is a fight! that someday were gonna win!!!
zoyalai - peace
tbh I considered ciwyw as well but in the end I think this is ALSO such a zoyalai song I couldn't not pick it
honestly I can see this being from either perspective.... neither of them can give the other peace! and that's what they love about each other!!
I can't even choose any lyrics to highlight, just the whole song
actually wait that was a lie.
okay so think about zoya believing nikolai is too good for her. now think about "your integrity makes me seem small, you paint dreamscapes on the wall... it's like I'm wasting your honour....."
SIT WITH YOU IN THE TRENCHES!!!
the chorus.... I can't imagine it any other way than nikolai singing it to zoya tbh. I'll keep your brittle heart warm?? I would die for you in secret??
but you got a friend in me = as my general. as my friend. as my bride.
this is probably incoherent but OH WELL
tamadia - invisible string
again I cannot explain it's just the Vibes
isn't it just so pretty to think all along there was some invisible string tying you to me?
it's so CUTE and I love it
also "cold was the steel of my axe"
because tamar and axes.
anyway! that's it!! this definitely got super incoherent and rambling towards the end but I hope y'all enjoyed it :D
#grishaverse#mayhem.txt#taylor swift#i genuinely cant decide if i should tag this with the ships or not lmao#shadow and bone#six of crows#king of scars#mayhem grishaverse originals
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