#but oh god they need like 3 more of me for maybe 2-3 years at least I think
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i think itis funny in the past when i would list my interests as if i post abt them i donot post abt the shit im into rly Mainly bc im not rly Into Into anything anymore i occasionally watch or read or play something but i dont do fandom stuff rly much.... just sometimes i get brainworms
#do i still list my interests somewhere i dont knowwww#i just stopped rly being into fandom a few years ago combination depression antipathy + bad experiences in fandom spaces#but idk. me listing my interests didnt rly accomplish anything for anyone bc it was just like anddd just so you know i was crazy abt this#video game for a rly long time it probably wont ever come up again but it might maybe one day. yk. ig its just sharing info Which is one#supposes the point of all of this but idk#its not that im cagey abt my interests except that one which i cant talk abt publically bc its a triple a game and im embarassed abt it. no#anything bad im just embarrassed . its not anything any of my oomfies have ever posted abt either so its just for me. and lamp . and when#the third game comes out i might post very very very vaguely abt it ......... possibly.#but ya its like. idk i think you guys have to find out abt my plague tale obsession on your own through lived experience. aka just me seein#like the word king and randomly collapsing to the floor and going KING HUGO 😭😭😭😭😭 oh god hugo guys oh god . please play plague tale#i wish i had finished that tw thing i started making but then i got too focused on the color palette and making it look nice and i stopped.#umm tw child death animal death The plague some gorey stuff theres some cult things in the second game ummm. yeah ..... its rly special to#me tho i love those games PLAY PLAGUE TALE!!! and if u need more indepth tws ill give them to you even if i have to replay both games to#refresh my memory... lamp wont play plaguetale with me (not their speed) so im all alone </3 but i miss it i might replay soon... i wish i#was in like discord servers so i could play it on call w ppl or something <- is in discord servers but is shy and Also i feel like playing#game on call is like a level like 2 friendship thing and i cant even do level 1 friendship things like i feel i need to at least be talking#regularly in a server b4 i like try to do Calls in the server esp for plague tale bc its like a 1p game so wed need a rapport to like have#shit to talk abt and etc ..... i could just infodump abt the game but again i feel doing that to like strangers/oomfies would b weird. ik i#come on here and talk abt whatever i want but its like you guys dont Have to read this and its not like a server where Yeah im not talking#to one person but im still like Oh well ive sent a message and its in the channel and everybody just has to look at it and whatever.#but on here i post i nobody cares and it just gets pushed down and its Fine bc its not like anybody has to feel obliged to respond#which is fine. you know.. i just hate being like a nuisance i hate . idk how to phrase. imposing myself on others ig.. which is dumb bc the#i turn around and whine abt how i have no friends and its like Maybe that is bc you donot talk to anyone bc yr scared they will be annoyed#with you and you dont leave the house and have no interests to bond with ppl and etc. but basically the difference is ive written all this#and you guys can just not read it or you can just read it and ignore it and its different. even tho i am like addressing you and i do have#like. weird parasocial thing with My followers or whatever where i talk directly to you YES YOU! reading this. IDKK im rambling so much i#dont know what im talking abt anymore. i proooooobably need to go to sleep im hungry tho but im not but i am. but i think my sleep is getti#off schedule again i had trouble sleeping yesterday too... ugh
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Oh god...still working on policy edits because that's never going to end, there's so much you gotta cover in a policy and I looked at the 'Information Requirements' appendix for Spectrum and
...I think we're gonna need a bigger spreadsheet.
#personal#museum work#collections work#spectrum#so many units of information#I wish we could afford a real CMS#how in the holy frog am I gonna gather and record all of this#AND write all the procedures#AND make sure the inventory is actually correct#AND implement a system to keep everything updated#AND find and choose and install environmental monitoring systems#AND contact all the lenders to get them on max three-year contracts#AND dig up the records from the Board about acquisitions from before I was there#might delete this later as it feels like tattling#but oh god they need like 3 more of me for maybe 2-3 years at least I think#or preferably someone better who knows what they're doing more#if they don't get funding to renew my contract after this year I might just keep coming back anyway#not gonna let my work go to waste#I will get us accredited or I will die trying#they'll have to chase me out from the office with a broom#'you're not authorised to access these documents! scat!'#me: *growling under a desk clutching the accession register to my chest*
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I know the world is cruel because I finally wanna draw again and yet I am forced to pack :(
#I’m actually looking forward to this summer which is wild#okay I mean like. I’m home for half and then back here for half for internship#8 weeks is a very nice amount of time to be doing smth that you’re kinda looking forward to but nervous about bc it’s long but not That long#I can put up with shit for 8 weeks on either side#but I have plans!! I have volunteering and coding my supervisor sent me to deal with while I’m home#and I NEED the break so bad oh my god#and then back for internship is only 4 days a week so I’ll get a good chunk of free time#I wanna get into Actual Exercise which I’ll be able to do hopefully when I’m back and then can see how that works for when uni starts again#bc my friend has offered to help me w stuff which is cool as hell of him#and the internship is smth not directly science so it’s a test run for Doing Other Stuff#which I’m rlly looking forward to actually? I need to know what Else is out there and I think I’ll actually really enjoy this#I have a feeling this summer is going to be a time of Figuring Shit Out bc I mean. for a start there’s a lot I gotta start figuring out#but also will be hopefully some of the least stressful few months I’ve had in forever#like I get to go home and not deal with any major school pressure. and then come back and have regular schedule#which returns me to being a person while doing smth interesting AND not dealing with home stuff#yknow it’s kinda wild actually but now that I have a task (packing) I’m feeling a little more like a person. but that might also be the#actually talking to my friends more recently/going outside. who can tell. man I always forget how much I need physical stuff#thoughts are a little disjointed here bc this draft decided to disappear and reappear 3 hours later but! I’m actually feeling decent now#which is messed up I’ve never been okay about going home for summer before. still wanna draw though. maybe tonight if I have time#oh man I get results for bachelors in like 2 weeks. that’s a slight damper. but the hardest part of my degree is done now#the next year of my life should be nicer!! at the very least the next few months will probably be pretty nice or at least manageable so!#beating the lingering grip of depression back with a stick we’re DONE with that now thank you#luke.txt
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I have a fucking master's degree and I've been beaten by a fucking couch and a coffee table
#And guess who's probably not gonna be getting any fucking help for like 3 weeks#Cause their boyfriend's always busy and when he's not everybody else needs to fucking babysitter or needs help with something#Which makes him so busy that I can maybe only see him for dinner once a week from maybe 30 minutes#So a total of 2 hours and a whole fucking month#The fact that I apparently have the schedule in fucking dinner to see him for 30 fucking minutes and yet these assholes can go and get drunk#I need a fucking babysitter otherwise go and have been fucking jail fucking let them rot#They need to learn consequences and either they learn it in a jail cell or I'm going to end up fucking drowning them#Like seriously I don't like being a bitch I've kept my mouth shut for fucking months and if I start talking now#Everybody's gonna be calling me a bitch and everybody's not gonna like me even fucking more#Whatever I just wanted to get the fucking couch and coffee table set up cause I got him today and I wanted them bill and put together#They didn't have to sit on the fucking floor anymore like I have had for the past oh 3 4 years now#But no no fuck my knees fuck my back fuck me having anything nice for fucking once#Am I overreacting? probably#But I spent 2 fucking hours trying to put together the goddamn couch back with instructions that are so fucking shitty#And that I've seen better instructions from a goddamn toddler and this couch is impossible to put together with one fucking person#And a fucking period started so I think I'm entitled to be a little bit of a fucking bitch right now and a little overreactive#Cause God it's not like any of them are gonna fucking see this this is my little corner of the internet and it's my little fucking diary
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I think maybe I've given myself too many little treats this week and now im down 100+ quid
#me 2 days ago after realising i barely spend money: Oh god am I becoming a miser? I need to fix this#me today: I have silly things but i feel awful#i actually dont really have silly things. I went out today and picked up things I needed + snacks#but aside from that I only bought like. 3 things I think?????????#a bag 2 sketchbooks (im counting this as one) and a silly 3d print I can paint for something to do#so its like eh#i might cut myself off for a week or 2 to make sure i defintely have savings#... maybe more#this year is do nothing and squirrel stash so I have money to spend on emergencies next few years so I dont have to worry about rent rrly
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If Civil War didn't end in divorce and everyone lived together Part 2
Read Part 1 and Part 3
Tony: Why is Underoos mopping the ceiling?
Sam: Told him since he's sticky that's his chore
Bucky: It's only fair he helps out around the house
Tony: Hm. Makes sense
-
Vision cooked dinner:
Peter: *pushing around food to make it look eaten*
Natasha: *surreptitiously spitting into napkin*
Steve: *taking small bites with tons of water*
Bucky: *just stares at full plate*
Tony: Well this is disgusting, I'm ordering pizza
-
Sam: C'mon man stop moping around, you gotta get yourself a girl
Bucky: Ok.
Sam: Ok? Okayyyyy! I know-
Bucky: Give me your phone
Sam: Oh you got a number in mind already hotshot? *hands phone over*
Bucky: *ring* Hi Sarah ;)
Sam: BOY-
-
Peter: Ned thought you would seperate your colours from your lights but he also thought you'd be homophobic so I don't pay him much mind cuz clearly I'm more of a superhero expert than him but he does have a 2% better average than me in history so like maybe you do hand wash your clothes and that's why I asked what underwear you wear because-
Steve: *listening intently with apprehension and alarm*
Natasha: I can't believe you found the one person on Earth who talks more nonsense than you
Tony: I know right, it's incredibly unnerving. I'm planning on adopting him
-
Peter: Mr. Stark I have to tell you something. I think Vision is a... *whispers* pervert
Tony: Um, why?
Peter: He keeps floating through my room without knocking! He saw me changing, he saw my nipples !
Tony: Well if anyone's a predator here it would be you. I mean showing your nipples to a 2 year old? Deplorable.
Peter:
Peter: Oh god, I'm the pervert...
-
Bucky: Y'know animosity isn't good between teammates. I think we should spend more time together
Sam: Am I being punked right now? Where's the camera
Bucky: I'm serious. I think it would be healthy for us to bond
Sam: Okay fine I'll bite... what did you have in mind
Bucky: Wanna go for a run?
Sam: *slams door in Bucky's face*
-
*staring at Bucky's sparkly clean metal arm*
Bucky: Dishwasher?
Peter: Dishwasher :)
(later that day)
Bucky: I've decided to let the child live
Peter: YoU wHaT?!
-
Thwip
Tony: Who took my coffee cup, It was right here
Thwip
Bruce: Um, has someone seen my book? I just had it
Thwip
Steve: I could've sworn I was holding a pen a moment ago
*giggling from the ceiling*
Tony: Young man I will take those webshooters away if you use them for shenanigans and rascality
Peter, muffled: Mr. Hawkeye told me to!
Clint: Oh so you're just gonna rat me out like that?
Peter: Sor- OOF
*falls out of ceiling vent*
-
Sam: You're in my spot
Bucky: There are no spots, it's a common area
Sam: Well that's my spot
Bucky: Did you buy the chair??
Sam: No, but everyone knows that's where I sit. Right Steve?
Steve: Oops I forgot something in my car, be right back *leaves*
Sam: Still my spot
Bucky: Still not
Sam: *sits on him*
Bucky: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL THE COUCHES ARE FREE-
Sam: IT'S MY SPOT YOU CAN'T TAKE A MAN'S FAVOURITE CHAIR-
BUCKY: YOU HAVE ISSUES GET OFF ME-
(one hour later)
Steve: Hey so turns out I don't have a car! Isn't that funn...
Sam & Bucky: *Squeezed awkwardly on the chair together*
Steve: I think I left something in my car
-
Steve: Leave the bedroom door open when you have Vision in there
Wanda: UGH you're so protective
Tony: Teenagers, am I right? Caught Pete reassembling my particle accelerator at midnight because he needed to neutralize a miniature nuclear bomb he nabbed off some guy he neglected to tell me was trying to kill him
Steve:
Steve: Wanda y'know what do whatever you want
Wanda: Really?
Steve: Yes just keep being normal. At least I can read about our issues in a parenting book
-
Thor: Ah, new warriors I see! Good to make all your acquaintance. But why are you so grumpy my friend?
Bucky: *glaring*
Peter: He's always like that. It's um, P- P- PMS? Wait -
Natasha: Yes it's PMS
Wanda: He's got it bad
Steve: *genuinely concerned* Bucky you didn't tell me something was wrong. What can I do to help?
Bucky:
Bucky: I like chocolate
-
Wanda: Welcome to the first annual girls night! This place reeks of men, so I thought we needed some women time
Pepper: Why is Vision here?
Wanda: I get sad when he's gone
Natasha: Why is Pietro here?
Pietro: Slay queens
Wanda: Moral support I think
Maria: Why is Peter here?
Wanda: He looked really upset when I said he wasn't included and I felt bad
Wanda: Anyways... yay girls! Who wants me to paint their nails?
Peter: ME ME ME
-
Steve: Pancakes or waffles?
Natasha: Pancakes
Steve: Good because I don't have a waffle maker
Natasha: Then why would you ask-
Steve: It's important for your voice to be heard, as team leader I value your opinion
*2 minutes later*
Steve: Good morning Clint, pancakes or waffles?
Clint: Waffles
Steve: Oh no.
-
Some of these were based on requests (ex. more Sam & Bucky, dad Steve w/ Wanda) so if you have certain dynamics you enjoy let me know !
#irondad and spiderson#marvel incorrect quotes#marvel mcu#mcu#incorrect marvel#incorrect quotes#incorrect marvel quotes#avengers#domestic avengers#the avengers#irondad#peter parker#tony stark#steve rogers#bucky barnes#sam wilson#sambucky#natasha romanoff#wanda maximoff#clint barton#pietro maximoff#thor odinson#bruce banner#marvel#vision
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fever dream | sebastian vettel
part 2 part 3
warnings: toxic soon to be ex husband who cheats on reader (if i miss anything, let me know!!)
update: i decided to make this into a series, thanks for reading!! you can read it here!
AN: THIS SAYS THAT SEB AND THE READER WERE TEAM MATES FOR 2014 AND 2015 THATS A MISTAKE SORRY I ONLY MEANT TO PUT 2014 😭
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yourusername a short trip back home 🤍
lewishamilton enjoy it!
yourusername thanks lew! miss you and roscoe 🤍
lewishamilton roscoe and i miss you more
yoursistersaccount it’s great to have you home
yourusername 🤍 love you
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“luke, alison! your aunt y/n is here!” your sister yelled as she opened the door to her home. in a matter of seconds, loud footsteps were heard running down the stairs. “no running!”
but still the kids didn’t listen, they were excited to see their aunt. “hey, my babies! oh my god, you two have grown so much. stop growing!” you hugged your niece and nephew.
“i’m almost as tall as mom!” alison, the younger sister, said.
“liar, that’s just what dad says to make you feel better. i’m going to grow more than you and then i’ll be taller than you.” luke teased.
“you both can be tall, but never as tall as me.” you joked as you placed a kiss on their cheeks.
“are you going to stay with us forever?” alison asked innocently. “dad said that you don’t want to stay with your husband anymore and you’re going to stay with us.”
“alison!”
the truth was hard for little kids to understand. yes, you were going to stay with your sister for a few days and yes, you didn’t want to stay with your husband anymore, but it was a bit more complicated than that. your husband had cheated, lied, manipulated you and you had enough. he was the reason you couldn’t come back to the sport you loved and worked your whole life for.
“well i am going to be staying here, but not forever. i just needed a break from him, it’s normal.” you tried to explain to the girl.
“but my mom and dad don’t take breaks?”
“alison, just go to your room, you too luke, please. dinner is going to be ready in an hour.” your sister said, feeling embarrassed that alison would ask those questions.
“what did i do?” the older boy whines as he and his sister walked up to their rooms.
“i’m sorry. i spoke to jack the night you called. we were cleaning up the table after dinner, i assume she heard.” your sister explained.
“it’s okay, they’ll understand when they’re older. not everyone is cut out to be loved . . .”
or a mother.
only a few people had known about your issues with infertility, your sister and lewis being two of them. after you retired from f1, you were sure that in a couple months, you were going to be busy with doctor’s appointments, buying baby clothes and building a crib, but none of that happened. after a year of trying, you were convinced you weren’t meant to be a mom.
you thought about returning to the track, after all many drivers returned after saying they were retiring, why couldn’t you? but that plan was spoiled by the man you thought loved you.
“you can’t go back, you don’t belong there. it’s a man’s sport. you’re probably going to crash in the first lap anyways.”
you didn’t know why you stayed with him, but you did. maybe it was the promises he kept telling you about or the hopefulness that one day you would become parents and maybe he would change. but again, none of that happened.
“um, i have to call someone. i’ll be right back. excuse me.” you told your sister as you walked to the patio door and exited the house. without hesitating, you clicked on a familiar contact. you held your phone against your ear and waited for the person on the other end to pick up. it felt like forever, but eventually they picked up the call.
“hello?”
#formula 1#f1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#f1 imagine#f1 x you#sebastian vettel instagram au#sebastian vettel fluff#sebastian vettel x reader#sebastian vettel imagine#sv5#sebastian vettel#sebastian vettel one shot#f1 smau#sebastian vettel smau
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HI I JUST READ YOUR "SIMON BETRAY YOU" AND YOU KNOW WHATTTT IT HURTS SOO GOOD OMG THANKS FOR MAKING THATT SJWISHWBSHSJSBWJSBWBS
...
and.. maybe can you write for a part two? pleaseee🥺
HIII TYSM IM SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED!!! here's a pt 2! i am very sick at the moment, though, so this might be a bunch of gibberish (i sincerely apologize if so). hope you like it <3
simon riley betrays you pt. 2
simon "ghost" riley x reader || pt. 1 || masterlist
☆ ☆ ☆
-miraculously, they let you go.
-you half expected someone to drag you out of the car with the barrel of a gun pressed against your temple with the intent to fire, but no. after a few excruciatingly long hours alone with your arms and legs bound, someone new came to cut your ties and let you loose.
-maybe they were just bad at their job, you thought. after all, why would they let you, essentially a witness, go free without any repercussions?
-a few years pass. you try to move on, but its impossible when your entire world was shattered in one night.
-you never heard back from your father since then, but that wasn't the thing that hurt the most. you couldn't go a single day without thinking about the sting of betrayal. any happy moment you had was spent comparing the time you felt that same feeling with him, before anything in the world was wrong to you.
-what's worse, there was something telling you that you shouldn't tell anyone about it even if you wanted to. a voice in your head kept telling you that maybe, maybe they're keeping you on a leash. maybe someone was watching you at this very moment ready to take you out the moment you spilled your experiences.
-in a way, your fears are confirmed when you meet simon again miles away from the last place you lived. you had moved for this exact reason; you never wanted to see his face for as long as you lived.
-it happens when you're walking alone in the street. you moved to this area specifically because you heard it was quieter and, more importantly, safer. but how much of that could you escape, really?
-your attacker approaches you as you're making your walk home from work, a kind of confidence on his face that makes the common individual want to roll their eyes.
-"what's a sweet thing like you doing out alone at night, huh?" he asks, his footsteps staggered like he's had one too many drinks.
-you give him the usual speel of, "oh, my friends are waiting for me... yeah, i've got a boyfriend. haha, i'm okay, no need to accompany me, thanks."
-your soft attempts at rejection only seem to agitate him, because next thing you know he's stepping toward you and putting a hand on your arm with a bone-crushing grip.
-"c'mon jus' let me-"
-his voice is cut off by the sound of a loud thud and the stranger's yelp of pain. it takes you a second, but you realize the defense on your behalf came from beside you.
-oh, thank god.
-you and your now injured attacker now adjust your gazes to sit on the silent newcomer. just like that, your settled sense of dread has come back and increased tenfold.
-there he was, with that stupid mask over his face and his hands curled into fists for preparation of what he was going to do next if the man didn't scurry off.
-"you'll leave," he says darkly under subtle pants, as if he ran before coming to your rescue. "if you know what's good for you."
-the stranger wastes no time in running off into the night, leaving you with your worst nightmare.
-for a while, you both stare at each other like you can't believe the other is real. it takes everything in you not to cry or beg him for answers. no, after everything you worked for, you're not going to throw away everything you built in the past few years to recover from him just to throw it all away now... right?
-"why are you here?" you ask coldly. "come to finish the job?"
-although your eyes were icy and your questions came with a rigid tone, there was genuine fear in your question. what if the soldier that untied you wasn't supposed to? what if you were supposed to be dead all those years ago?
-"no. never."
-even though he knows the reason why, his heart still hurts at the thought of you believing he'd just up and kill you like that.
-"really? that's rich," you scoff, except you're terrible at hiding the tremble in your breath and the tremors traveling through your body.
-spotting your growing fear, he scrambles for something, anything, to make you fear him less.
-"i was worried, that's all. after that night," he pauses, eventually deciding to skip the details of what he did to your father. "i didn't know where you went. thought i could just get over it, but i guess i just knew i needed to check in on you just in case."
-you resist the urge to roll you eyes. "right. you're back again to 'check in on me'? to come back and meddle in my life again?" you're struggling to keep your tears back as they form in your eyes. "you've already taken so much. how selfish can you be?"
-he stares at you for a moment before slipping his hand into his pocket and taking out a gold watch that belonged to your dad.
-"i'm sorry about your father, but you have to understand that he-"
-"not that, simon. it was never that," you push his hand away and the offer that came with it. his eyes became confused. "i mean you. it's always been you. you just come into my life telling me you love me, that you want to be with me so much and then just take that all away? and you never even bothered to tell me it was a lie, just let me get tied up by some stranger to be left alone and scared!"
-there's a new look in simon's eyes at your words, but it's hard to decipher them from behind the mask.
-"it wasn't a lie," he says slowly, lowering the hand with the watch in it back to his side.
-"oh, please." the trembling has not died down in the slightest. "i bet you're still mad that worker of yours took pity on me and let me leave before you could do anything about it. like i said, back to finish the job."
-your eyes are now trained on the ground. there was a conflicted feeling in your body at the moment. on one hand, this was the man that let you get tied up and left in a car while he "handled" your father. on the other, this was the man you loved. the one who was kind to your ever desire, who always understood you in ways you never knew possible.
-"i told them to let you go," he finally manages.
-"what?"
"i..." he hesitates. "i told my captain that if i was going to give them your father's location, they were to let you go no questions asked when the whole ordeal was over with." and it was true. he hated even imagining poor you, being interrogated by his colleagues in an isolated, barren room. you had been through enough.
-and even if you had been a part of your father's scheme, there was a part of simon that loved you too much to care (though he'd never admit it to himself).
-it was a good thing price trusted his judgment. he didn't know what he would've done had he said no.
-the tears are now streaming down your face and you can do nothing to stop it. it all felt like so much. you were so, so confused. if he did love you, why did you feel this way? how much of this could you trust?
-cautiously, he goes to wipe the tears away from your face, murmuring a quiet, "hate it when you cry." for a second, it was a familiar feeling. you felt like you were back in your shared flat with simon while having a breakdown over life's struggles. in moments like those, you never would have expectated that life's struggles could take the form of simon himself.
-you can't help but lean into his touch. maybe you were insane for allowing him to touch you like this, but you wanted nothing more than to let him into your life again. the resolve you worked so hard to build was crumbling away the longer you spent with him.
-"the reason it took so long for me to find you..." he's holding your face in his hands, now. "for so long, i thought i ought to leave you alone. i know i should. i wasn't lying about when i said i was worried if you were still alive, but," he swallows the lump in his throat before continuing. "i also miss you. 'nd i know, 's incredibly selfish of me after everything i've done to you, but i can't help it."
-one of his hands leaves your face to slide the mask and balaclava off his face. there he was again, his aged brown eyes and soft jawline, the sides of his face littered with small scars you still remember to this day.
-"i'll make it up to you," he whispers. "anything you ask, i'll answer. about my past, your father, anything. you ask me to get you something, i'll have it for you wrapped all nice 'nd pretty. hell, i'll get on my knees and pray to you if you order me to, love."
-it was like your nightmare turned into a fantasy, having him here begging for your forgiveness.
-"anything you want, i want to give to you. jus' let me be a little selfish, too."
-you bite your lip as you think it over. you know the correct answer would be a clear, hard no, but you can't bring yourself to do it. not after all those nights wishing he was encasing you in his arms again, whispering all the things he adored about you as you drifted off into sleep.
-as much as you shouldn't be believing him, you do.
-"...anything?" you ask hesitantly, and it takes everything in simon not to pull you in close and never let go.
-again. no, he needs to be sure he won't scare you off again.
-"anything," he promises, fingertips tracing the edge of your jawline.
-"okay," you agree, the tears finally having stopped flowing. happiness does not even begin to describe what simon was feeling. "for starters, you can walk me home."
-with the watch long forgotten and broken on the edge of the sidewalk, he holds your face for a bit longer before letting go. eventually, he offers his arm to you and you take it.
-there's a part of him that mourns the years lost that he could've had with you. maybe, if he came to you sooner, he wouldn't have to be so careful about being around you, now. but, no, these were the consequences of his actions.
-at the very least, you were still giving him a second chance, and he was intent on not fucking it up this time.
#call of duty imagine#call of duty x reader#cod x reader#cod imagine#cod mw x reader#simon riley imagine#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley imagine#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x reader#ghost imagine#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley x you#ghost x you#cod angst#call of duty angst#simon riley angst#ghost angst#rarawrites
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Locksmith - Nico Hischier
nico hischier x fem!reader, jack hughes x platonic!reader, luke hughes x platonic!reader
summary: reader has been friends with the hughes brothers for years, and when she finally arrives in Jersey to move in with her best friends, she finds herself locked out and stuck in the hallway, with only the neighbor to save her
notes: this is my first time ever writing ANYTHING, so this could be terrible. BUT it’s really only a peek at where i want the story to go so possible series if anyone actually wants to read it??? 🫣
part 2, part 3, part 4
[2.4k]
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You know, three suitcases didn’t seem like enough when you were packing, but trying to roll three suitcases down the long, carpeted hallway is proving to be one of the most difficult tasks you’ve ever had to do in your life.
Seriously, the building didn’t look this long from the outside.
After a trek that felt like miles, you reach the door you’ve been scanning for, only to find it locked tight. “I swear to god I’m literally going to kill them,” you said to yourself, out loud. “They tell the doorman to let me in, have me bring all this luggage up by myself, only to leave the fucking door locked. Why did I expect anything less?”
Grabbing your phone, you dial Jack’s number, silently begging him to pick up. You know he’s at a charity thing with Luke, but surely he’s allowed to answer his phone, right? Wrong. His phone goes straight to voicemail, twice. Classic Jack. You know there’s not any point to calling Luke, he always leaves his phone during charity events in order to connect with the kids better. Usually you find that endearing and admirable, but right now you wish that he was maybe just a bit more selfish.
“Well, I guess I live in the hallway now. Hope the carpet is plush enough to sleep on.” You’ve always had a habit of talking out loud to yourself when you’re nervous or, in this case, annoyed. It helps you work through your thoughts and not dwell on anything for too long. Purges your emotions a bit.
“Trust me, it’s not. Speaking from experience here, you’d be much better off sleeping on the couches in the lobby” a voice startles you.
“Oh my god,” you jumped. You turned around to see the door to the apartment behind you wide open, a dark haired man leaning against the doorway, smile on his face.
“I- how long have you been standing there?” you asked, hand on your chest trying to calm your racing heart.
“Long enough to know you’re thinking about sleeping on the carpet, not long enough to know why,” he states, humor lacing his tone.
“Well, if you must know, my roommates left the door locked, no spare key, and won’t answer their phones. So, until they get home, the hallway is my new bedroom,” you surveyed the stranger.
He was tall, much taller than you were. He wore a simple white t-shirt, black sweatpants, and a backwards hat on his head, hiding what looked like hair that was in need of a trim based on how much it was spilling out the sides of the hat. But what made you stop in your tracks were his eyes. You don’t think you had ever truly understood the phrase ‘warm eyes’ until now. They were the most spectacular shade of brown you had ever seen in your life. And they were filled with amusement. Amusement directed towards you, since he had just heard you talking to yourself like a madwoman.
“Ahh, you must be Y/N! I thought Jack said you weren’t coming until tomorrow?” He asked, understanding washing over his face.
“I caught an earlier flight and was going to surprise them. However, Jack texted me earlier this morning and told me he and Luke had to go to a charity skate, so I had to tell them I was coming early. He told me he’d leave the door unlocked so I could go ahead and settle in, but, as you can see, they did not,” you explained, only slightly shocked Jack told his neighbor about you. That boy sure liked to talk, yapping anyone’s ear off who would listen.
“Well, lucky for you, I happen to have a spare key you can use,” the stranger tells you, walking out of your view for a brief moment.
“Should I be concerned that the neighbor has a spare key? Does he just go around handing out spares left and right?” you ask, starting to feel a bit awkward standing among all of your luggage.
“No, not exactly,” the man laughs. “He gave me a spare after one too many nights of me hauling him home from the bar only to realize he didn’t have his key with him.”
He walks out of his apartment, a small golden key in hand. The stranger, whose name you forgot to ask, unlocks the door and stands back with a warm smile on his face.
“There, you just got upgraded to a real bedroom,” he recalls, standing in the now open doorway.
“I would say thank you, but I’m still a little concerned that a strange man just had to let me into my own apartment,” you (semi) joke, attempting to gather your suitcases.
“I’m Nico,” he explains, taking the suitcase you were struggling to heave into the apartment.
“Oh, you’re the captain!” you exclaim, recalling all the times Jack and Luke had talked about their beloved leader to you. “Jack never mentioned you lived next door!”
“That’s me. I only just moved in about a week ago. Was looking for a place closer to the rink and Jack told me about his previous neighbors moving out, so I decided to move in. Nice having them just across the hall. They’re like the little brothers I never had,” Nico pronounces brothers like ‘brudders’. You nearly forgot Jack had mentioned he was from Switzerland, too distracted to have picked up on his accent before now.
“Yeah, they seem to have that effect on people, huh?” you understood the sentiment behind Nico’s words all too well.
You’ve known Jack, Luke, and Quinn since you were all kids. Your family owned the lake house next to theirs when you were growing up. You spent every summer with them up until Quinn got drafted to the Canucks a few years back. Then Jack to the Devils, then Luke following Jack. Your families grew incredibly close to one another over the years, though. Trips to visit the other outside of the summer months became a regular occurrence. Trips to watch their hockey games, traveling to watch Luke play college hockey, and attending their drafts. These three were the brothers you never had but always wanted. They treated you like their own sister from the very start.
“They especially have the annoying aspect of younger brothers perfected,” Nico replied, both of you fully inside your new apartment now.
“God, don’t I know it,” you laughed.
Looking up, you finally took in your new home. Geez, this place is nice. It shouldn’t surprise you, really, with how much Jack and Luke both make, but the apartment is like, really nice. Definitely out of your price range, by likely a couple thousand dollars. You suddenly feel bad that Jack refused to let you pay any share of the rent. You had fought him on it, several times. He insisted that they had the spare bedroom anyways, and they had no trouble making rent as is. You demanded that you contribute in some way, so you were now tasked with grocery shopping and cooking for two professional hockey players. Honestly, after seeing the meal plans the team nutritionist gave them, it might be a fair trade.
It's only as you look over towards the kitchen at the thought of having to go grocery shopping soon, you realize Nico is still there. He’s just standing there, watching you take in your surroundings, lost in your own thoughts.
“Well, thanks for not letting me waste away in the hallway. And helping me with my luggage. I think someone from TSA filled my suitcases with rocks or something. I swear it didn’t seem like I had that much stuff when I left home,” you explain, not knowing what else to say to the stranger.
“No problem, seriously. I feel like I’m over here more than I’m at my own apartment, anyways. Jack is always calling me to come over or insisting that we have to watch game film together after practice. It’s a little concerning how obsessed he is with hockey. I mean, I’m the captain of the team and I feel like I spend less time thinking about work than he does,” Nico chuckles, not seeming to want to end the conversation just yet.
“God, don’t even get me started. I’ve had to listen to him ramble on and on about hockey for years. I’m just glad someone else finally understands my pain.”
“You know, the only other subject he seems to talk about as much as hockey is you. And his family, but according to him the two are one in the same. Every time I’ve seen him this week, which is nearly every day, he’s updated me on the countdown to when you were set to arrive. He’s seriously excited to have you here. They both are. It’s nice to finally put a face to the name,” Nico reveals.
You and Jack had always been the closest out of the three brothers. With your age falling directly in-between Quinn and Jack, you and Jack had the most common interests as a kid. Quinn was always trying to be the grown one, not concerning himself with whatever you and Jack were interested in while growing up. As teens, Quinn was always training or going off by himself to do who knows what. Luke was still slightly too young to go off with you and Jack alone, so it was usually just the two of you embarking on your own little adventures on those summer days. Once Jack got his boating license neither of your parents would let Luke go out on the water without them. So, more often than not, you and Jack would take the boat to God knows where in the middle of the lake and spend the whole day there, not returning until after dark. Those days were your favorite to think back on. The conversations between you and Jack never ceased to flow. From hockey, to your boy troubles back home, to whatever girl Jack wanted to impress that summer, to what your lives would look like one day, to always vowing to be in each other’s lives, even if he became a big shot hockey player that lived on the other side of the world.
“Yeah, well, he always has been the sentimental type, no matter how hard he tries to deny it,” you chuckle, a fond smile finding its way onto your face.
“Well, I guess I’ll be seeing you around, Y/N. If you ever find yourself faced with sleeping in the hallway again, you know where to find me,” Nico drops his eye into a wink, walking over to the door and opening it once again.
“Thank goodness someone around here understands the severity of the situation at hand. Me and my back thank you,” you wave your arms around for dramatic effect, walking to take hold of the open door as he steps into the hallway and back into his own doorway.
“Welcome to Jersey. We’re glad to have you here,” Nico turns to face you after he’s back in his own apartment, a genuine smile settled on his face.
“Thanks, Nico. It’s good to be here,” you respond, matching his smile, thinking of how well it suits him.
———————————————————————————
“Y/n!!!! Where are you!?” you hear, currently elbow deep in suitcase number two, trying your hardest to unpack everything. You really don’t know how you managed to fit so much clothing in three suitcases. Or how you ended up with so many clothes to begin with. You stand up and start making your way to the door of your bedroom, hand on the doorknob as it flies open, revealing a very excited looking Jack and Luke. You suddenly feel your body flying forward, face hitting a clothed shoulder.
“Ow! Jack, that was my nose!” you tried to say, but everything was muffled because of how tight your body was being held in place. Seriously, he acts like he hadn’t seen you in years. You were literally here a few months ago to visit and arrange plans to move in. Leave it to Jack to always bring the dramatics.
“Just a few more seconds, I missed you,” he mumbles, squeezing even tighter, if that was even possible.
“Jack, no fair! Quit hogging her, I missed her too!”
“Luke, please save me. I might suffocate soon if he doesn’t let go,” you beg the younger brother.
“Oh my god, will you two quit being dramatic? Can’t a man be excited his best friend is finally moving in after months of waiting?” Jack whines as he releases his hold on you.
“No one said you couldn’t be excited, Rowdy, but suffocating me two minutes into living together might not be the best way to show your excitement,” you say, smoothing out your sweatshirt and making your way towards the open arms of the younger, yet much larger, brother.
“Oh Moose, how have you been? Have you been getting enough sleep?” You question, always worried about his wellbeing, especially these past few weeks.
“Yeah, m’alright. A little tired, but we have some home games lined up soon. I’ll catch up on sleep then,” he responds, squeezing you a little tighter at the end of his sentence.
Luke’s rookie year has been a rollercoaster not only for him, but for you as well. You worry about the youngest Hughes, having such a soft spot for the boy. You know he’s talented, and you know he’ll do well, but you can see the exhaustion on his face and in his actions. You know he carries the weight of the foul comments he receives about his gameplay, and you try your hardest to take some of it off of his shoulders.
“Alright, but now that I’m here just know I’ll be holding you to that,” a stern look on your face.
Turning back around towards Jack, you find him surveying your room, looking over the mess you created in the few hours it took for them to return home.
“So, are you going to spend the rest of the day unpacking, or can we go have some fun and celebrate the fact that you live in New Jersey now?” Jack spoke, looking at the pictures you decided to display, most of them pictures of you and the brothers throughout the years.
“I mean, I was hoping to get as much done today as I can, but I’m guessing you’ve already made plans, huh?”
“You would be correct. We’re leaving at 8, be ready,” is all Jack says, before dragging Luke out of your room.
#nhl oneshot#nhl blurb#nhl fanfic#nhl fanfiction#nico hischier#nico hischier blurb#nico hischier fanfic#nico hischier imagine#nico hischier x y/n#nico hischier x you#luke hughes#jack hughes#nico hischier x reader#nico hischier one shot#new jersey devils#hockey imagine#hockey
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'her highness' in the second page refers to hornet, in regards to this doodle i drew 3 years ago where lurien, upon meeting herrah and baby hornet, pointedly bows to hornet, and only hornet in a passive-aggressive gesture showing that he is paying his respect to the pale king’s child, not the beast’s daughter.
i think pre-dreamer lurien and herrah would have regarded each other with contempt. mostly because lurien was a fucking bastard.
after they spent an eternity in the dream realm and watched the world fall apart together they managed to achieve mutual grudging respect.
meanwhile, my monomon & herrah interactions go something like this:
(script for all comics under cut)
comic 1
1.
2. Herrah: Too lofty to bow to the likes of me now, Watcher? Lurien: To her highness, certainly. But I see no reason to bow to you.
3. Herrah: The Pale King and his sorry followers. You are all the same - arrogant cowards, the lot of you.
4. Lurien: And your first reaction to it is violence? Ha! How very sophisticated. Fitting for an unenlightened beast. Herrah: Unenlightened, you say?
5. Herrah: No, it is you who have forgotten. That those base instincts are what drives life.
comic 2
1. Herrah: I'll admit, I didn't think you had it in you. Lurien: ... Herrah: To remain loyal to a kingdom when its own ruler fled... Lurien: ... Herrah: ...Well. You are better than that self-proclaimed god.
2. Lurien: So the child has chosen to give her life to a husk of a kingdom. Herrah: ... Lurien: I am sorry. It is not a fate I would have wished on another.
comic 3
Monomon: Oh, you must be Herrah the Beast! Herrah: Ah, the other Dreamer. Monomon: I've always wanted to know more about Deepnest...
Herrah: This one is treating me like some kind of exotic specimen.
Herrah: (I seriously need to spend the rest of eternity with these two?)
Pompous little fanatic (Lurien)
Arrogant mad scientist (Monomon)
Herrah: (Maybe I should have asked for more than one child...)
#hollow knight#lurien the watcher#lurien#monomon the teacher#monomon#herrah the beast#herrah#my art#comic#long post
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Hi hi! Could I order a scenario of how Jade and Floyd would react to MC hiding behind them because they’re being chased by bullies?? Maybe grabbing onto the tweels (о´∀`о)
I like to think they’d be surprised of someone hiding BEHIND them instead of FROM them lol..
I'm a sucker for platonic tweels! This is my lifeline rn!!
...
Shrimpy Protection Agency
Three of the more troublesome NRC seniors decided that they weren't too pleased with all the attention you were getting, having been in Twisted Wonderland for only a few months.
The students decided to corner you in the hallway, much to your surprise and demand that you apologize for the trouble you've stirred up.
When you refused, they accused you of being disrespectful and threatened to hurt you if you didn't start respecting your upperclassmen.
Through your fear, you managed to slip between the students and make a break for it.
You knew they were older, stronger, and faster than you so you wouldn't be able to outrun them.
Your only hope was to hide.
You frantically searched for a place to hide as you sprinted into the courtyard.
You were hoping someone would be there to stop the upperclassmen from pummeling you but it was empty.
No, not empty.
On the very far side of the courtyard, hidden in the shadows, the Leech twins stood, both looking mildly bored.
"Jade! Floyd!"
They both perked up upon hearing your voice.
What was excitement to see you, quickly became confusion as you ran to them and wrapped your arms around Floyd's torso from the back, shielding yourself from your pursuers.
Jade almost never showed his emotions on his face which made it all the more terrifying when his expression darkened as the bullies followed you to the courtyard.
All three of them stopped in their tracks when they saw the intimidating look on Jade's face, worsened by the wide-eyed and manic Floyd.
It wasn't usual to see either of them, especially Jade, without their signature customer service smile on, even when threatening someone, but when it came to you, there wasn't any pleasantry.
They didn't even try to pretend like your bullies weren't in danger.
"I will give you 5 seconds of silence before I begin my pursuit," whispered Jade, though the attackers heard him loud and clear in the echoey silence of the courtyard.
The one that appeared to be the leader scoffed and nervously chuckled.
"You're just a second-year. I'm not afraid of you. And I sure as he11 wouldn't need a headstart."
"Oh, you misunderstand," Floyd laughed, his eyes still crazed. "Five seconds wouldn't help you for a headstart. We're giving you a chance to pray to every God who'll bother to listen to a pathetic bottom-feeder like you."
"You're monsters!" one of the goons screeched after a few seconds of listening to their panicked breathing. Both twins just smiled in the same unsettling form.
"That bridge was burned a lot time ago, my friend," Jade chuckled menacingly before he went back to staring into the bullies' souls. "5."
"Listen, dude! We were just messing around!"
"4."
"Okay, you're seriously starting to freak me out!"
"Better get on that praying then. 3."
"I'm gonna... tell the headmaster!"
"Oh, I'm so scared. 2."
"Guys, let's get out of here!"
"That little shrimp isn't worth this."
"Only I get to call them that!" Floyd screamed after the goons as they stumbled over themselves to get away.
You could hear the bullies leaving but you still slayed firmly attached to Floyd.
"I'm a touch offended you didn't latch into me that way. Do you trust Floyd more than me?"
You looked up to see Jade smirking at you with his usual calm composure, much opposed to his "predator mode".
"I'm sorry," you sniffled, though you all knew you didn't really mean it. "Next time, I'll hide behind you instead."
"Oh, no, no, no, Shrimpy," Floyd glared at you. You could tell it wasn't directed at you specifically but it was still intimidating. "There's not going to be a next time."
"At least we can agree on that note, brother dearest," Jade mused, brushing a hair behind your ear. "We'll make sure no one will ever mess with you again, Y/N."
"What are you going to do?"
"Well, that's a secret," Jade put a finger to his lips and you could see the angry fire behind his eyes.
"You can hug me anytime you want though, Shrimpy!" Floyd chimed in cheerily. You laughed and leaned into his chest.
"Thank you so much. I don't know what I would've done with out you," you sighed and grabbed Jade's hand, tugging him into a group hug. "I love you. Both of you."
Jade wasn't usually particularly affection and Floyd didn't often practice restraint but both of them cared enough about you to just smother you in a brotherly hug, as long as it will make you happy.
Jade and Floyd made eye contact over your shoulder, making a silent agreement to break every bone in your bullies' bodies and make it look like an accident.
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst#twst x reader#disneytw#jade leech x reader#jade leech x platonic! reader#floyd leech#floyd leech x platonic! reader#leech twins
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motive
PAIRING choi san x f!reader
WORD COUNT 3.37k
GENRES kinda fluff ig﹒smut
WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, friends to lovers, reader is lowkey down horrendous, but san is too i guess, um tbh this is just porn with minimal plot… 😭, reader gets jealous, Tension, i can’t think of anything else for the tame aspect so, making out, exhibitionism, soft dom!san, marking-ish, scratching, vaginal fingering, multiple orgasms, they’re like kinda clumsy in the way that everything is a fucking joke to them, actually a lot of kissing, san’s a sweet talker, public sex, shower sex, unprotected sex (pls be safe), creampie, cutesy ending
SUMMARY it’s annoying that your gym partner constantly gets flirted with right in front of you, especially when you have a crush on said gym partner. good thing your gym partner has a crush on you, too.
MORE HELLO oh my god okay, this is my first written fic on this blog and im actually so nervous posting it… but fuck it! we ball! this wasn’t originally the first fic i was gonna post but,,, the other one is still marinating in the drafts so you get mr. choi san instead <3 ALSO THANK U SM FOR 100 FOLLOWERS HELLO. my blog is 2 weeks old that’s insanity 🤕 big thank u to the loml @kimsohn for betaing for me ilysm maya <<3 pls reblog if u enjoyed and pls moot me :( i need more atiny friends 💔
“Wow, San, you’re so strong,”
You scoff to yourself as you watch the trio of girls surround him, dainty fingers touching anywhere they can. He laughs sheepishly, shifting his seat on the weight bench. You think it’s funny, really, the fact that he was eating up their attention and acting like he was so shy about it. He was supposed to be your gym partner.
With a small grunt, you take the dumbbells in front of you and focus on your form in the mirror. You make attempt after attempt to ignore the commotion behind you, but ultimately fail. How could you not stare with all the obnoxious giggling? Even as you lunge, eyes zeroed in on the perfect 90° angle your legs make, you can still make out the group’s reflection in the mirror.
Every drag of a manicured nail along his bicep, each twirl of hair, it was pissing you off. You had no real right to be mad, though. It’s not like San was your boyfriend or anything. You were just friends, and he’d volunteered to help you out when you mentioned struggling at the gym. What started as him spotting you when needed and giving tips to help improve your workouts, turned into waiting around for him to stop flirting with the girls who flocked over to him.
Maybe you were being a bit dramatic. It’s not like this happened every time you came to the gym, but it was enough to be irritating. There was also a very high probability that it ticked you off so much because you had a crush on San yourself. Your infatuation was less superficial, however. Yes, he was an attractive man, that was one fact that couldn’t be refuted, but there was more to him than his big muscles and handsome face.
You’d known San since you met in your first year Anthropology course. This was way before he started hitting the gym and building his physique. He used to be this thin, pretty boy. Girls thought he was cute, but that was about it. No one was jumping at the chance to ask him out, or giggling at his every word. No one except for you.
He was not only cute, but he was sweet and funny and just about every good quality you could think of. You didn’t want to be one of those people who thought you were special because you knew him before his insane bodily transformation, though in a way you were. San was your good friend above anything else, and you had a fear instilled in you that that’s all he would ever be. The idea made your stomach churn.
”Do you think you could bench me?”
A sigh pushes past your lips when you see one of the girls get a little closer to him. You’re over working out at this point, ready to just call it a day and go home. What were you doing here if your partner was going to ignore you the entire time? You set the dumbbells back on their respective rack, grabbing your phone and water bottle while simultaneously turning up the volume on your headphones to drown out everything around you.
You don’t bother telling San that you’re leaving, making your way into the changing rooms to grab the rest of your things from your locker. The frown etched onto your face as you do so serves as a reminder that he would never see you in that way. Perhaps you were perpetually stuck as the girl space friend. With a giant emphasis on the space.
There’s a gentle grasp around your wrist, making you jump in surprise. You turn around with wide eyes, pushing your headphones off your ears. San stares back at you with an unreadable expression, lips slightly pursed.
”God, San, you almost gave me a heart attack,” you hold a hand to your chest, heaving up and down a little.
”I tried calling your name, but you didn’t hear me,” he shrugs, releasing your arm and shoving his hands into the pockets of his athletic shorts. “Why didn’t you tell me you were ready to leave?”
”You looked busy.” Really, you wanted to hide the jealousy and bitterness from your tone, but ultimately failed, even throwing in an unintentional scrunch of your nose. It feels like your heart dropped to your stomach, resembling a prey caught by its predator when you realize the connotation behind your words.
San smiles at you, a smug grin that’s so out of character for him, you’re a little nervous now. He takes a step forward and you back up until you reach the lockers, one of his hands coming up to rest on the surface near your head. A small chuckle breaches the sound barrier, his eyes drinking in your figure like he might never get the opportunity to do it again. “Y/N… are you jealous?”
Instinctively, you shake your head. What he doesn’t know can’t kill him. But then he’s raising an eyebrow in question and you feel like a puppy with its tail between its legs. You blink up at him, nails digging into your palms to keep your composure. “Should I be?”
His tongue darts out to wet his lips, that same cocky smirk on his features. He knows what he’s doing, you think to yourself. He has you cornered and he’s using it to his advantage. The hand that isn’t holding his weight comes up to your face, fingers gliding along your jaw with a feather light touch. “No, I don’t think so. The only girl who’s attention I really care about is right where I want her.”
Your breathing stutters, halting in your throat and momentarily winding you. Choi San might very well be the death of you. Especially with that darkened look in his eyes, the chocolate brown color now resembling the night sky. His thumb swipes across your lower lip, letting it resume its original place. “What do— what do you mean by that?”
He was giving you a bone, a hint that he could potentially feel the same as you, but you wanted to hear him say it. You wanted the words to leave his mouth and verbally confirm that for you. Want wasn’t even good enough. You needed it.
“There’s no way you don’t know,” San says, voice hushed. “No way that you don’t know how badly I’ve wanted you since first year.”
Something similar to a choked groan departs from you, your pulse racing in your ears, thumping beneath your chest. You’re too stunned to move, frozen in your spot in case this is all some fucked up dream. It doesn’t even occur to you that someone could walk in, doesn’t even cross your mind that you’re in too public of a setting for this conversation or where it could go.
“I don’t— I didn’t…” Your eyes attempt to stay on his, but keep flickering down to his mouth.
“It was so hard for me to play nice guy for so long,” he whispers, a pout adorning his expression. “And today? I couldn’t even stare at you shamelessly because of those damn girls. It’s so fucking annoying when they bother me while I’m trying to flirt with you. But since I’m Nice Guy San, I can’t be rude.”
“You flirt with me?” You snort, your shell shock wearing off and a goofy smile worming its way onto your face. He laughs along with you, tilting away to hide the warmth blooming on his cheeks. The tension is still present, but it’s a lot more bearable.
”I guess I’m not very good at it if you couldn’t even tell,” he glances down at his feet, the confident San from before long gone and now replaced by a bashful version. “Am I going crazy, or is this gonna go somewhere? I don’t want to misread anything and ruin what we already have. The ball is entirely in your court.”
It’s your turn to be shy, shrinking in on yourself slightly. Acknowledging that you had feelings for San was a separate can of worms. There was a big difference between him confessing to you and vice versa. You know if given the stage, you’d just start blabbering on and on about how you feel for him, and that would just be embarrassing for both of you. So instead you say, “Can I show you?”
When he nods, your fingers raise to his jaw, cupping it gently as you lean up. Your lips brush his softly, barely grazing them. His eyes flutter shut, a shiver running down his spine simply from your kiss. A pleasant buzz courses through your veins from your lips to the tips of your fingers. You’ve wanted this forever, you don’t think you could ever go back.
You pull back and San fists the fabric of your t-shirt on your waist, eyes still closed as he chases your mouth. “Fuck, Y/N, can I kiss you again?”
“Please,” you whine, enveloping your lips with his as soon as you get the green light. This time is desperate, noses bumping each other. You’re going lightheaded and dizzy, already intoxicated by him. Your back presses into the lockers behind you, arching into his chest for more.
He deepens the kiss and it’s almost too much. You’re overwhelmed by the emotions taking control of you, not at all prepared for what would come with actually being with San. It had always been a distant fantasy, something that felt so completely out of reach that you didn’t dare let yourself indulge in the notion for too long. The way his lips lock with yours, fluidly and synchronously like missing pieces of a puzzle, you think you can die happily.
“As hot as it would be to fuck you right here, I’d rather not get kicked out of this gym,” he chuckles breathlessly. “And since we’re both sweaty from working out, I think we could use a shower. Don’t you?”
You leave a kiss on the corner of his mouth, nodding frantically at his suggestion. Though you imagined your first time with San being in a bed, slow and sensual, you’d be so stupid to complain about this. Fucking in one of the gym showers, where anyone could hear you? Go big or go home.
He scopes the area to ensure the coast is clear before hauling you into one of the stalls, dragging the curtain shut. You kiss roughly between removing articles of clothing, San turning on the water while his lips make quick work of your neck. Goosebumps form on your skin when the cool water hits it, your fingers combing through his wet hair as he sucks harsh marks into your collarbone and sternum.
“You’re so gorgeous, babe,” he mutters into your skin, nipping lightly at the tops of your tits. One of his hands travels south, sliding through your folds with ease. He rubs tight circles into your clit, prodding at your entrance with his ring finger. “I need you to cum for me once before I fuck you for real, okay?”
“Mhm,” you moan quietly, hiking one of your legs around his waist. His finger pushes inside you to the knuckle and then curls. Your eyes all but roll to the back of your head, back arching off of the tiled wall. “Feels so good, San…”
“Yeah?” He smiles against your skin, trailing pecks up your neck and along your jawline. You whimper in his ear, cunt sucking in his finger greedily. He adds a second, the middle one, and applies pressure to your clit with the heel of his palm. The sight of you falling apart by his hand alone is sending blood rushing to his brain.
Your body feels hot to the touch, risking a downwards glance at where his fingers disappear into your pussy. It forces another whine out of you, your head tossing back. You tug at the strands of hair that stick to the nape of his neck, steeling yourself the only way you can in this position. San just seemed to know you, to know exactly what you needed without you having to tell him. Either he was really good at guessing, or everything he did seemed to be perfect, because you’ve never climbed to the summit this quickly before.
There’s a knot in the pit of your stomach that weaves itself tighter and tighter with each curl of his digits and each swirl of his thumb on your clit. You think you could cry from how attentive he was, from how determined he was to provide you pleasure. Your cunt contracts around his fingers, and he can sense the precipice of your orgasm, speeding up his pace.
You squirm around in his hold, allowing him to spread apart your thighs so he can brush the pads of the digits buried inside of you up against that spongy sweet spot. You’re trembling now, nearing the edge of that familiar cliff. “San, baby, I’m— god— I’m so close,”
“Let go for me, my love.” He coos into the corner of your mouth, hushing your moans. He doesn’t slow his assault, inching you further and further towards your release like it was his own personal mission. That knot in your belly begins to unravel until it slips through your grasp completely, your orgasm rocking into you like a tidal wave.
San aids you as you ride out your high, already spent before he’s even gotten the chance to be inside of you. He kisses you tenderly, pulling out his fingers with caution since you were still so sensitive. Your nails claw down his front, scratching his abdomen with a purpose. He shudders beneath you, lips curling up into another soft smile.
“What?” You ask with a giggle, mirroring his expression when he wipes water from your face.
“Nothing,” he shakes his head, grin unwavering. “You just look really pretty like this.”
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to get into my pants, Choi San.” You tease, yanking him down for a saccharine kiss. He reciprocates without hesitation, drawing his palm on your thigh so he can wrap it around his waist again.
“Me? Never…” He laughs along your mouth. “Is it working, though?”
You roll your eyes playfully, reconnecting your lips. “Are you gonna fuck me for real now?”
“What kinda question is that?” He glides the tip of his cock between your folds, shutting you up instantaneously. He’s heavy where he sits, slipping the shaft through your lower lips. “I’m gonna fuck you so good, you forget where you are, baby.”
Before you can even let out another sound of appreciation, he’s stretching you out, cock thrusting up into your pussy without warning. You jump up a bit to hook your other leg around his hips so he’s supporting your whole weight. The new angle makes it easier for him to delve deeper in your cunt, his dick accessing places you’d never knew existed.
After he’s sure you’ve adjusted to his length, he starts to move, pistoning in and out of you much more forcefully than he did with his fingers. Your lips part for a voluminous moan, but then you hear a group of loud girls entering the shower area and San slaps a hand over your mouth. He makes no effort to stop, fucking into you without a single care for the people on the other side of the shower curtain.
“Did any of you see where San went? He disappeared so fast.”
You recognize the voice as belonging to one of the girls who was openly flirting with San while you were working out. Not even needing to see her, you can picture the exaggerated pout on her face based on her tone alone.
“He probably followed after that stupid bitch he’s always with.”
Your half lidded eyes meet San’s but he still pays no mind to them, digging his nails into your plush thighs. He pulls all the way out, just to slam his cock all the way back in. His pace leisures, but his power doesn’t, abusing your cunt with every snap of his hips.
“I think I’m gonna ask him out next time I see him. I have to stake my claim before someone else does.”
He holds back a laugh, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. You drown out their conversation after that, too focused on the feeling of his cock dragging against your walls so deliciously to even worry about those idiot girls. Little did they know he was closer than they thought…
Thankfully, they leave not much longer after that, and he uncovers your mouth. You gasp for air, panting feverishly when he picks up his speed again. Your bottom lip quivers with a whine, too fucked out to conjugate words that make sense.
“You’re taking me so well, baby. Taking me like a fucking princess,” San praises. He groans, water droplets slipping along the valleys of his sculpted chest and abdomen. It drips with every roll of his hips and every thrust of his cock into your pussy. This was what he had been building up to, what he’d been dreaming of for years. “Who’s fucking you like this?”
“Mmm,” you moan, supping him in deeper, further, as cavernous as humanly possible. “You, San— fuck— y-you are.”
You arch your back, sneaking a hand in the middle of the two of you and pressing the pads of your fingers harshly on your clit when you do so. San holds you closer to him so your pelvic bones nearly clash each time he punches into you. The change in depth that he fucks you has your cunt squelching, any semblance of coherent thought escaping you.
Your vision goes blank, stars decorating the backs of your eyelids as your second orgasm blindsides you. Not a sound leaves you after it knocks into you, cumming with so much force you think you might pass out in San’s arms. When you’ve finished, you let out a guttural groan, walls fluttering around his cock.
“Gonna cum— shit— where do—“ you interrupt him with a whimper.
“Cum inside of me,” your begging tone has him spilling into you practically on command. He fills you up perfectly, a moan from deep within him reaching your ears. You both stay like that for a moment, skin sticking to the other’s due to the thin sheen of sweat coupled with the steam of the shower coating your bodies.
You can feel the rise and fall of his chest when he breathes, one of your hands coming up to caress his back gently. He pulls out with a wince, palms resting on either side of you as he recuperates. He breathes through his nostrils, forehead glued to your shoulder. His hands rub up and down your sides soothingly.
“It’s safe to assume you’re gonna turn that girl down when she asks you out, right?” You ask suddenly, attempting to diffuse whatever’s in the air between you now. San laughs into your shoulder.
“Y/N, I’m turning down any girl who asks me out from now on,” he stands upright, biting his lip before kissing you gently. “I don’t think my girlfriend would appreciate that very much.”
You raise an eyebrow at him. “Girlfriend?”
“Am I being too overzealous?” His nose scrunches up.
“You’re being the right amount of zealous, I think,” you brush away a strand of wet hair that falls into his eyes. “But I think your ‘girlfriend’ would like it if you actually asked her to be your girlfriend.”
Choi San is the prettiest man you’ve ever set your sights on, but somehow, he looks even prettier smiling down at you after having sex with you in a gym shower. It’s a feat that should be considered illegal, and you should receive restitution for the distress it’s caused on your heart.
“Will you be my girlfriend, Y/N?”
And well, maybe you’d deal with that later. It was kind of difficult to ignore that sparkle in his eyes, especially when it was directed at you. You nod without a second thought.
“I would love nothing more.”
© yunhoszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.
#ateez#ateez x reader#ateez smut#ateez san#ateez choi san#choi san#choi san x reader#choi san smut#san x reader#san smut#yunhoszn
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Hi, I saw your smut requests post and was wondering if you could write one about touch starved Gale finally being alone with reader/Tav and getting his satisfaction? (Yeah, I got inspired by your nsfw headcanons about him, how could you tell?) Please and thank you!
PS Can I be 🧀 anon?
What happened at the moon lit pond
Gale X Fem!Reader
Baldurs gate 3
It’s been, probably three years since I’ve written a full fanfic? I’ll admit I’m probably a little rusty. Thank y’all for hanging in, and I hope this fulfills our nerdy wizard boy needs. thank you so much 🧀 anon for the request! I hope you stay and request some more.
Important tags: lots of pining, some angst (no sad ending), smutty (male and female Masterbation, male giving female oral), spoilers for gales mid game story, romance, Gale is an anxious mess, The thought of gale brushing his hair from his face got me GOING 😩
Word count: 1.9k
(Part 1.5 HERE) (PART 2 HERE)
(Gale headcanons that inspired this here)
-
Gale didn’t know how to handle these new feelings for you. He makes a fool of himself everyday, it seems. He always offers you a slice of his bread, even if you gave your own, he saves some of his own morning coffee for you, since he wakes up earlier, and even warm it up for you with a spell.
He simply wanted you to like him. That would be all he needed, but anything else that may follow that would be a true blessing. Gale wanted nothing more than to make you laugh, to see your smile and know he was the reason why, to camp and be the first and last person you’d speak to before sleep.
Gale wouldn’t let his mind wander much past that, or he tried to not let it. The occasional dream would slip through where you were his, and he was yours. It simply put him in panic mode In the waking hours, trying to not be obvious, scared you’d find out, what exactly? He wasn’t sure. You were too kind to break his heart so effortlessly, like he feared you would.
Endless scenarios danced in gales head of rejection, humiliation, and what would happen if he let himself go, life he was tasked to do. It wouldn’t take much, to convince him to live. Friendship, a place to call home, even if it was ever moving. Company he could entrust his life to. It was all so appealing. Luring him into life, breathing a new passion into his purpose, one he’d lost many years ago, sometime when he was alone for so many years.
Those thoughts seemed to linger on forever, sweeping over his barely conscious brain to awaken him again, rustling him from what could be a good nights rest. Eventually, Gale decided to just get up and go for a walk.
Camp had been set up in one of the most beautiful places any of you had seen. Waterfalls tinted emerald green, sand fine and shimmering in the light, may it be sun or moon. I’m one of those waterfalls, he found you.
Waist deep in the pond. Skin and hair dripping wet, shining more than usual water would, adding a silver glow to the night. You looked better than a goddess could ever imagine, and still, his eyes never dipped below you shoulders, even though he deeply wanted to look lower. Instead, he stood there, looking like a fucking idiot, gods know how long. Maybe a tree branch snapped, or maybe you finally snapped out of your trance, but your head whipped in his direction, eyes darting across the small beach, only relaxing when you realize only gale stands before you.
“Oh, Gale, it’s just you…” you let out a deep, jagged breath, the anxiety flowing out of your body just as quickly as it racked through it.
“Just? Are you disappointed?” Gale smirked, although his heart raced in his chest, one word and he'd sulk back to camp, but gods he wanted to stay and spend the whole night with you under the stars.
“Far from it, really. I was just thinking about how much you’d enjoy this view if you were here” you tore your eyes away from Gale, focusing on the stars. “I thought it may remind you of waterdeep. You paint a very beautiful picture of home.”
“I can think of a few things much, much more beautiful than Waterdeep,” his voice low, raspier than usual. Easily explained away from the lack of sleep or old sleeping bags, not for what it really was. Deep yearning, wanting, needing.
“I’d love to see them someday, then.”
“We’ll just have to get you a mirror, then,” “All the beauty in the world would reflct
"Gale, I-" You finally looked into his eyes, he wore his heart on his sleeve, at least for a moment. Those puppy eyes, dark bust glistening in the full moonlight, his hair messy from turning in his sleep, he wanted you, in many more ways than one. Gale's emotions could never be that simple, of course.
"Well," you walked towards him, water inching lower and lower, revealing more and more of your body, yet gales eyes stayed on yours. "Why don't you join me for a swim. It's a beautiful night."
"an offer I could not refuse." Gale's face was plastered with that cocky smile, the one that could melt anyone into a puddle in seconds.
He might have been a gentleman and kept his eyes upwards, but you were not so much, Gale untied his robes, gods why were there so many damn layers? It was quite a sight, his little mannerisms that showed more of him to you than he had shown to you. He was nervous, his fingers missing the simple ties frequently, he got annoyed by his hair getting in his eyes, a grimace appearing before he swept his hair behind his ear.
Your eyes lingered on his circle smoke tattoo, his toned arms, his downright massive hands. he was more tan than you realized, To be fair, he's always covered in those loose robes, leaving you to wonder what was underneath. You were more than happy to finally be finding out. But not below the waist.
"Isn't it a bit cold to be this naked?"
"The water is warmer than the air, I promise." You extended a hand out to Gale, even though he was feet away from you. "Come on, Gale from Waterdeep being afraid of some cold water? Sounds redundant."
"You got me there." He finally stepped into the glimmering pond surrounded by rocks and sand, enough to have your own little corner, to lessen the echo if it was needed. The whole camp didn't need to know all of your business. It must've been a magical lake, as both you and Gale noted separately. Unnaturally still, even when you moved freely, small glowing lights pooled at your sides, occasionally bubbling into the air once you leaned against a large, bright rock.
"May I ask what you were doing out here at this hour?" Gale spoke, still much further away from you than he wanted to be,
"Can I not take a mid-night swim?" You raised your brows in a questioning glance his way "A woman needs time to herself. These days and nights have been very stressful."
Gales very audible oh, slipped through the silence. "You don't have to relax alone." His eyes finally gave in to the need, scanning your body with a low moan slipping past his lips. His excitement was immediate, brushing against your lower stomach all the way past your navel.
"You've wanted this." You stated, brushing your hand against his thigh.
"There's plenty of magic around us, I want the Gale right in front of me." You dared to inch even closer, his thigh fully slipping between yours, inches away from touching your pussy. His hands floated inches from your waist, "Let me give you everything"
"Give me everything" With that, Gale's hand grabbed your waist, gently guiding you onto his thigh, motioning your hips down and swaying only him. The sensation sent sparks flying through his body, you were right in front of him, completely bare and rocking with pleasure onto him. Better than any dream he'd thought up, any fantasy that ran through his head even at the most inappropriate of times. Yes even during the throws of battle. Even in hard times like that, he was so drawn to you.
Gales other hand came up to your jawline, tilting your head so he could latch his mouth around your neck. Deep marks left behind while he inches his way in hickeys up your neck, jaw, and finally to your lips. Any semblance of anonymity flew out the window, not a single person could miss what he gave you, artfully placed dark spots painting your skin. "I have never seen such a beautiful being in my life"
"I could say the same about you gale," You said betwixt breathy moans, picking up the pace of your grinding hips against his thigh, his hand on your waist moving between a tight grip on your ass, and a light but so effective caress of your clit. Every time you got so close, his fingers moved, he was teasing you. His cocky smirk felt even through his kiss.
"I want you to come on my mouth." As if he was reading your slightly frustrated thoughts, "I want to taste you in my dreams."
All you could manage was a frantic nod, a mumbled yes, and shakily hoisting yourself up onto a rock that was perfect for gales pretty head to be between your thighs. Gale pushed your thighs apart with one hand, which stayed firmly grabbing onto you. The other sneaked up your thigh, tracing patterns along your skin. "Gale, please," you whispered out of pure desperation. The only warmth coming from your feet still in the water, otherwise your skin exposed to the biting air.
"All you had to do was ask, my lady" Gales fingers easily slid into you, curling up and pumping in and out, while he leaned into your pussy, maintaining eye contact as he placed one kiss just to the right of where you needed him to be. All he needed was to be touched, to touch you. Your legs wrapped around him to get Gale even closer, urging him closer.
"Touch yourself" Barely a whisper, but Gale caught it, and certainly didn't need to be told twice. Secretly, he could cum from this alone, your taste, how soft you were, how loud you could get. It was more than enough to orgasm right there with you, however, that is not exactly how he wanted your first sexual experience to go. His hand clutching your thigh came to his cock, rubbing much faster and harder than he was fingering you. he was eager. He wanted this to last forever, he wanted you to cum again and again and again into his mouth. He wanted his face even more dripping from your juices.
"Gale I can't hold it-" You nearly screamed, his tongue swirling and sucking, lightly biting, it was almost too much. Then, he moaned. A loud, deep moan and that was it. Vibrations running through your body from his mouth. there noise that left your mouth could've been heard across Baldurs gate, you silently thanked this magical pound for being so secluded, as you would be borderline embarrassed if people heard. Gales didn't come back up for hair until he was sure you were finished, getting every last drop of you.
"You certainly are loud" Gales tone was so smug it almost made you laugh. You gripped onto his shoulders as he swept you down from the perch, pressing his whole body to yours. After all that, after her definitely came, he was still so hard, and so pressed against you that you couldn't help but gasp. "I want to hear that again."
"Hear what, exactly?" you teased, lifting a finger to trace his chest.
"To hear you cum," his lips dipped down to your ear, slightly nibbling on it, before he rasped "and to feel you on my cock."
-
Part two, here
(Requests Open)
#x reader#smut#gale of waterdeep#gale dekarios#gale bg3#gale x tav#gale x reader#gale x reader smut#gale smut#gale of waterdeep smut#gale dekarios smut#gale dekarios x reader#baldurs gate 3#baldurs gate 3 smut#baldurs gate 3 x reader#tav#requests open#astarion x reader
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i feel like i am less important than other ppl. oe that i dont matter , inferior something like that :(
Hii doll!! Tysm for asking me this 💗
Let’s Talk Self Worth!!
”I just take a book with me everywhere. It’s a habit.” - Rory Gilmore
Why do you feel this way? Well, the root cause is most likely your surroundings. Those around you, social media, and maybe yourself? Maybe others make you feel unimportant? Maybe social media is telling you others are more important? Or maybe your just always judging yourself? If not, take a moment to think of when you started to feel this way. Then, why you started to feel this way. You can journal this in a notebook or your notes app. Now, describe the wave of emotions you get when feeling this way. Let it all out, it’s ok. Lastly, think of how you can heal from this!
2. Mentality!! Let’s say you get bullied, harsh things are said to you I would believe. The people bullying or saying mean things to you, say you’re “unimportant.” Then those words go to your mind and you start to believe them. Next thing you know more negative words are said. So, your brain continues to believe them as if their affirmations. Your brain now doesn’t even have a say in what you think about yourself. Why? Well, because now you only live by your bullies words. What your bully thinks of you, is how you think of yourself. Now, do you really want to live your life like that? I would hope the answer is no. Ok, so you need to work on becoming secure in yourself. So secure in yourself that when someone says something about you. Guess what, YOU DON’T CARE. You need to start living by your words (and Jesus’s) instead. For example, you like your hair and someone else doesn’t? So what! You go rock that hair of yours cause you like it!!!
3. Stop Comparing Yourself!! Not everything you see and hear is real. Not everyone tells the truth. Plus, what’s the point in comparing yourself to someone your whole life? There is none. What there is, is your older self disappointed thinking back to you now. Not only your older self, your younger self too. They wouldn’t want to see you comparing yourself. I would hope, your present self doesn’t want to be comparing yourself too. In my opinion, comparing yourself is a waste of youth. You spend your whole day, week, month, year, life wasting youth. It’s pointless because it really doesn’t get you anywhere. It just continues to make you more insecure. Therefore, remove what you can that makes you compare yourself. A little example would be deleting social media! If you can remove it from your life, do it.
4. Stop Punishing Yourself!! In other words, stop being so hard on yourself. Just because you got a bad grade isn’t an excuse. Just because you did something “embarrassing” isn’t an excuse. In fact, there is no excuse for punishing yourself. Be nice to yourself instead. You deserve so so sooo much love from yourself. For that reason, give all of that love to yourself. Leave that mistake in the past. Learn to embrace your mistake too. It’s ok, you’ll be ok.
5. You’re Only Human!! If there is one thing I want you to remember from this blog. It’s that you are only human. You can’t be “perfect” and you can’t be happy all the time. Your feelings and struggles are important. We all deal with a bunch of things everyday. It’s in our nature to feel this way at times. Maybe you feel this way more than others, and thats ok. You are only human. Maybe you act different than others, and thats ok. You are only human. Maybe you hate your life, and thats ok. You’re only human. Maybe you can’t do things others can, and thats ok. You’re only human. Maybe you struggle with healing, and thats ok. You are only human. You are only human, imperfectly perfect. You can really only choose to love yourself and have fun. Oh, and remember that you’re only human.
Love you so much dolls!! Remember God loves you and stay pretty 💋🎀
“If you’re gonna let one stupid prick ruin your life, you’re not the girl I thought you were.” - Holland Taylor/Professor Stromwell (Legally Blonde)
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A Lesson in Heartbreak
2 of 3: Words are Painful Weapons
Rating: T | Word Count: 3983 | Pairing: Azris/Reader
Summary: Eris and Azriel made promises they didn’t keep. When you confront them about it, Eris says some things he instantly regrets. Now him and Azriel have to fix what they broke.
Neapolitan Bonds Masterlist| Read on A03| Part 1| Read Below
Warnings: Angst, Eris has a sharp tongue, alcohol, drunk!Eris
A/N: HI so… yeah… I am alive. Sorry this took so long. A second shout out to @daycourtofficial for inspiration with Azriel and his comments when he comes back.
Tagging: @myromanempiree @pit-and-the-pen @lilah-asteria @thisblogisaboutabook @hieragalbatorixdottir @mybestfriendmademe @paleidiot @div94 (if you are tagged by accident or want to be tagged in the future, let me know)
“There. A letter to Tarquin and a letter to her.” Eris sent them with a flick of his wrist.
Azriel calmed enough to sit while Eris penned the letters. They needed you to come home so they could talk with you in person. Deep down, Eris was thoroughly embarrassed over the whole situation. Not only at himself but for you leaving to another court. He wondered if this was how Tamlin felt all those years ago, when Feyre ran off to the Night Court. Eris suddenly had empathy for him in retrospect.
He slumped back in his chair and sighed. He needed a stiff drink. But he wanted to be sober if you came home. Azriel sat across from him, arms crossed against his chest and brows furrowed like he did when he was deep in thought. His eyes were still rimmed in red from earlier. The Shadows were nowhere in sight.
“What?” Eris looked at his mate.
Az cut his eyes to Eris, still frowning. “I want you to tell me exactly what you said to her.”
“I’m surprised your shadows didn’t already tell you.” Eris didn’t hold back his eye roll or his sigh. “I don’t fully remember.”
Everything was a blur from earlier. When he got like that, he never remembered what he said.
“Well think fucking harder.” Eris could see Azriel’s fingers dig into his sleeves.
“She came in screaming at me about missing dinner.” It reminded him too much of his mother. The way she would yell at his father when he was a youngling. Eris tried to focus, to put that aside. “I told her the high lord meeting was more important. We were hosting, and.”
After a moment Az said, “And what, Eris”
He cursed under his breath. “I said she would understand that if she had bothered to help. Since she isn’t helping, she doesn't get to complain that we are busy. She knew what she was getting into when we mated.”
Azriel recoiled where he sat. “How could you say that to her?”
“It’s the truth, Azriel.” Eris brushed back his hair with his hand. “This is what it’s like to be mated to a High Lord. We have responsibilities. Yes, I was wrong for implying she didn’t want to help because she asked and I told her she didn’t have to. I admit that.”
Shadows came out as Az replied. “And we made promises we didn’t keep.”
“I know I did. It eats me alive that I broke them but what else am I supposed to do? It’s our first time hosting, I’ve only been High Lord for a decade and a half. She’s worked for multiple courts. She knows these things have to be perfect or others will talk.”
“That doesn’t mean we can’t take a break to have dinner with her.” Az countered.
Eris glared at him. “Do not act like you are any better. You weren’t there either.”
He winced. “You’re right. I wasn’t.” Then he glared back. “But maybe I would have been there if you let other people do their job instead of making it our problem.”
“Oh you’re going to blame me?” Eris was on his feet. “By the gods. I’m always your scapegoat because it’s easy to blame me than for you to look in a fucking mirror.”
“Eris.” A warning, as shadows built around him.
“Am I wrong?” Azriel didn’t answer. Eris and his sharp tongue kept going. “You blamed me for centuries when it came to Mor. To this court. To my father. Let’s just add this to it.” He paused. Before he could stop himself he added. “It wouldn’t even be a fucking issue if it was just us.”
Eris felt the shock through the bond from Az before he shut him out. Even the shadows recoiled from around Az.
“What are you saying?”
“I don’t have to repeat myself. We work well together,” he gestured between them, “because we know what to expect from each other. She wants so much more than either of us are capable of.”
Shadows shrunk back again. “That’s not true.”
“It is!” Then words spewed from his mouth like viper venom. “I wish Elain never told us. I wish I never let you get your fucking hopes up, looking for a third bond in every fucking fae you brought to our bed. But I love you, so I let you do it.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Azriel was on his own feet, siphons on his hands flashing. “I always got your consent, you said it was fine. You brought your own-”
Eris’s mouth ran away from him again. He didn’t raise his voice; his tone did the work for him.
“Maybe I lied. I only took other lovers so you wouldn’t feel guilty. I was just trying to make you happy because I was never enough for you. Even the Mother herself knew. She knew I wasn’t enough for you so she sent us her.”
Az looked like he’d been struck. Guilt and insecurity Eris had buried for decades laid out on full display. At that moment Eris hoped Azriel hurt just as much as he did. The silence between them was heavy and loud. It was finally Azriel who spoke, his own words sharp and stinging.
“I never asked to be mated to you. You say this is easier for me and you, but it’s only easy for you. What’s easy is loving her. It’s not my fault you’re too fucked up to know that too.”
Shadows grew thick around him and he winnowed out of the room.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
You showered and changed into a soft seafoam colored nightgown, given to you by Samira. She was sitting by a small side table reading when you came back into the bedroom. She set her book down and got up from her seat.
“Did you tell him, Tarquin?” You asked.
In your haste to get away, you didn’t think about the implications of your actions. Namely as High Lord’s mate seeking refuge in another court. You liked Tarquin a lot. He was kind and you were so happy when Samira and him hit it off. But he was still a High Lord of another court. Samira didn’t look you in the eyes from where she had sat on the edge of the bed.
“I only told him what you told me.”
“That’s fine,” you said quickly. You got onto the bed and crawled up beside her. “I understand. If you hadn’t told him, I would have.”
“That said,” she put her hand over yours. “You’re here as my guest. Any correspondence will come directly to me unless there is a threat to the court.”
You winced and she gave you a sympathetic look. Your mates were both known for their tempers. Azriel was well known for his impulsive behavior. You prayed to the Mother that neither of them acted irrationally. A hard thing to hope knowing you sealed this room the moment you entered.
“Did you want some tea or do you want to rest for the night?”
“Tea. I need to talk if you’re willing to listen.”
“Always,” she smiled.
You grabbed a light robe and moved into the small sitting room. She waited as Samira had tea brought to the room. She fixed you a cup, and then she sat down and took her own in her hands.
“So what happened?”
You let out a heavy sigh, trying to figure out where to start.
You explained the best you could. How they both made a promise to go to dinner and neither showed. You explained how distant they’d been for months. You explained how Eris told you that dinner wasn’t as important as whatever he was working on with the upcoming summit.
“He said I knew what I was getting into when we mated. As if I’m not managing his court while his nose is stuck in itinerary lists.” You added bitterly.
She winced. “And Azriel? What did he say about all this?”
“He said he was sorry. He lost track of time. Conveniently he was silent when I asked why his shadows didn’t remind him.” You stared down at the tea in your hand. You could feel your eyes water again. “He hasn’t- he has always been more physically affectionate than Eris. Out in public, at least. But he hasn’t even-“
You stopped yourself, your face burning. Samira didn’t need to know how Az hadn’t even called you by a specific pet name in weeks. Eris even longer. And how was you supposed to explain they even stopped just casually touching you? It was childish, to be upset about something so silly. Yet thinking about it just made you cry again.
You wiped your eyes. “It just feels as if they don’t want me anymore.”
“They're your mates, of course they want you.”
“Mates doesn’t always mean love, Samira. They did just fine without me for what? Two decades? Maybe longer. Maybe they miss it just being the two of them.”
“Now you’re talking nonsense. Stop it,” she gave you a pointed look.
“What if it’s the truth?” You were so sick of crying. You sniffled and wiped your eyes. “They know each other so well. What do they need me for?”
They didn’t.
That was your whole issue. They didn’t need you. Eris and Az could practically communicate without words. They moved around each other seamlessly. Eris knew exactly how Az liked his tea. Az knew to move papers closer to the inside of the desk when Eris was on a rant, his hands moving about as he talked. Eris knew when to make the spare room without even asking Azriel if he needed it. You tried to watch, to listen. Five years and you still weren’t in tune with them.
Samira shuffled in her seat, drawing your attention back to her.
“Eris wrote a letter to Tarquin. I got it while you were bathing. It wasn’t much, just him requesting to know if you were here and if so, that you get this.” She held up an envelope with his seal on it. “I wrote back that I would handle communication and you’d be staying the night.”
She laid the letter on the table in front of you. Your chest ached, begging you to open it immediately. You shoved it down.
Samira added, “I informed him that if you want to stay longer, I can’t make you leave. Tarquin has already agreed to allow you to stay as long as you need.”
“Thank you,” you whispered and stared back down at your tea again.
“Sleep on it. You can have breakfast with us and decide what you want to do in the morning.”
You nodded. Sleep sounded nice now that the adrenaline of the evening had crashed. You drained the rest of your tea and bid Samira good night. You left the letter on the table. You’d read it in the morning.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Eris poured himself the stiffest drink he’d had in decades. The shame and embarrassment of everything was still burning in his chest. He downed his drink in one swing and poured another. Both his mates were gone. He walked over to his desk where the correspondence with summer sat. Your friend had written back instead of Tarquin. He downed his second drink.
To make things less complicated, I will be handling correspondence until this is resolved. Unless there is a threat to the court, I will not involve the high lord. I promise I will give her your letter in the morning. She was distraught when she arrived and I’ve just gotten her calmed. She’s currently bathing and I will get her some tea to help her sleep.
There was a break in the letter and she added.
She has yet to tell me what happened fully, but as her friend I am warning you both that you two better make this right. I will try to convince her to return in the morning, but she is a grown female. If she requests to stay, Tarquin has already told me she may.
Eris tossed the letter back onto the desk. He doubted once you found out Az left too that you’d come home. It’s what he deserved.
He was a fool to think he could do this- have two mates. To think he could be any better than his father. Three years mated to you and he still couldn’t control himself. Couldn’t toe the line between work and leisure. Fifteen mated to Az and he still spewed venom in his direction the moment he was cornered. And Eris finally got a taste of his own medicine when Azriel spewed it right back.
With a heavy sigh, Eris pulled out more parchment and ink. There would not be a high lord summit- not with all of this happening. He’d draft the letters and send them in the morning. If he could sleep at all, with no one sharing his bed. He went and made a third drink. He opened his bonds and see if you or Az would respond.
Still shut out. The urge to down that third drink was strong. He needed to be sober in the morning even if he didn’t want to be.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Azriel flew until his emotions settled. Eris’s foul words rung in his ears still. ‘I wish Elain never told us’ he’d said. ‘Even the mother herself knew I wasn’t enough for you so she sent her.’
His eyes watered and it wasn’t from the wind in them. There was an ache in his chest- both bonds were shut out. He and Eris fought plenty, before and after they reconciled and the bond snapped. Somehow this was still the worst. He ignored his own words that spewed like venom in response to what Eris had said.
Azriel was angry and hurt. He left- if he stayed any longer the whole Forest House may have been burned to the ground. He circled the border between Autumn and Winter. He couldn't go back, not tonight. He landed in a clearing, stretching out his wings before tucking them back in. He didn’t want to go to Valeris. He had one other option. His shadows seemed to agree, as they circled him and he winnowed.
He landed outside the wards of Rosehall. The fae lights shown through the window.
She is awake. a shadow whispered.
He thought about turning back. He didn’t want to disturb his mother, to bother her with his problems. Yet his feet carried him forward, the wards rippling around him. He tucked his wings in tight and walked to the door. He didn‘t have to knock; the wards were designed to let only few in and to notify her when someone arrived. He could hear the rush of footsteps inside and braced himself as the door opened.
“Azriel?” His mother answered the door, a navy shawl you made for her wrapped tight around her shoulders, sides shaped to accommodate her wings. “What has happened?”
”I had a fight with my mates.” He said quickly. “They’re fine; I just- I couldn’t stay.”
His mother brushed back loose hair to tuck it behind her ear. He realized her hair was half braided. She nodded, and stepped aside to let him in.
“I’m sorry, I can go.”
”Nonsense, come in. I just made tea.”
His shadows swirled past him, one or two weaving around his mother. They always loved her; probably more than him if he was honest. He stepped through the frame and looked around. He had visited two weeks ago and already things had changed. His heart skipped, looking into the sitting room. Feyre had taken to decorating his mother’s house with portraits and paintings. The one above the fireplace was of him and his mother. It was a new one on the wall to the left that wasn’t there two weeks ago that made him stop in his tracks. It was of his mother, himself, you, and Eris. From your mating ceremony, based on the clothing and how close together you all were.
“The High Lady spoils me,” his mother said from his right. “Says my house is too empty. You should see the garden painting she had mounted in the hall a few days ago. Come.”
He felt her hand grab his own. He could only grip back loosely. He didn’t realize how cold his fingers had gotten from flying. If she noticed, she didn’t say. She led him to the kitchen where a kettle sat on the stove. He sat at the small table and watched almost numbly while she gathered cups and poured the tea.
“Zemër, tell me what happened.”
Az looked down at the cup as she sat it in front of him. He wrapped his hands around it, letting the warmth ease the stiffness in his hands. If he was home, Eris would do it for him. He pushed that thought away. He took a few sips, relishing in how the warmth flowed through his chest. His mother waited patiently across from him, braiding the rest of her hair for bed.
“I said some things I shouldn’t have.” His shadows nudged him on the shoulder. “I made a promise and didn’t keep it.” She hummed and tied off her hair. His voice cracked a little when he added. “I don’t know if I can fix it.”
There was a beat of silence and his mother took a sip of her tea. “Why do you think such a thing?”
“Because she left!” He snapped. His mother flinched and shadows hissed at him for raising his voice. “I’m sorry. She left and he- we’ve been so busy and she asked for one dinner and neither of us went. Then she left. And Eris said things. So I said things back.”
He hated that hot tears fell down his cheeks. And that his mother was looking at him with pity. She reached over and took his hand, holding it tightly in her own.
“Words are painful weapons and you are the best warrior in all prythian.” That made Azriel snort and she smiled softly. “This is a fight. Not a war. You haven’t lost yet. They are your mates. You love them. If you haven’t given up your love for them, what makes you think they have so easily given up their love for you?”
She had him there. He gave her hand a squeeze, a gesture of thanks. Then a shadow swirled up his arm quickly.
We must go. He furrowed his brows. He walks to our balcony. We must stop him. We must go. Go.
“Shit.” Azriel winced at himself. He hated cursing in front of his mother. “Mama, I have to go. Thank you. For the tea.”
She watched him stand, not letting go of his hand. “Be careful, my love.”
Despite the tugging of the shadows he gave his mother a kiss on the forehead. “I’ll see you in two weeks. I promise.”
She nodded and he winnowed away.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
At some point, Eris wasn’t sure when; he grabbed the whole bottle instead of pouring himself a glass. He couldn’t sleep. Not alone, with his thoughts and past memories hovering around the edges of the bed. They we’re waiting in the dark to grip him when he was most vulnerable. So instead he drank. Drank to numb the emptiness like he used to in the days before.
One minute he was in his chambers and the next he was stumbling up stairs. There were several balconies in the forest house but there was only one nearest to the roof. He built it for Azriel. It had no railings, just a place for him to take off when he went flying. Az swore he didn’t need it; but he still used it. In Eris’s mind, Az would use the balcony when he came back home.
Because he had to come home. You both had to come home. Eris didn’t think he could bear it if you didn’t. It took him a moment when he reached the door to focus enough to grab the handle. Gods, he hadn’t been this drunk since his youth. Pushing into the room, it was bare- save the single old couch, rug, and unlit fireplace. His gaze fixated on the double glass doors that led to the balcony. If he could just get out there, he could wait.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
Eris nearly fell over, balance upended by Az’s voice behind him. He grabbed Eris by his shirt to pull him steady. Shadows that had been absent swirled in his vision, grazing his hair and neck as if checking him over. It took a moment for the world to stop spinning and his focus fixated on the male before him.
“You came back,” Eris whispered.
“Of course I did.” Azriel’s nose crinkled at Eris’ breath. “You're drunk.”
“Can’t sleep.” He felt his eyes water. He reached for Azriel’s shoulder but Az held him in place. “I’m sorry. I'm so sorry.”
“Look at me,” Az’s hands were cold as they cradled Eris’ face, forcing him to look him in the eyes. “I’m sorry too.”
“Your hands are cold.” He muttered, his own reaching up to cover them. He wasn’t sober enough to focus his magic like he wanted to.
“They are.” Az gave him a soft smile. “I’ll live.”
Eris frowned. “Why did you come back?”
To Azriel’s credit, he didn’t seem shocked at the question.
“I came back because I love you.” And Azriel meant it.
“But you said-“
“I said it’s not easy.” He paused for a moment. “It’s not easy but I choose you. I will always choose you. Because I love you.”
There was silence between them for a moment.
“She’s not coming back.”
Az grimaced. “Eris, it’s late. She’s safe in Summer and probably sleeping. Like we both should be.”
“But I need her here.” Eris could hardly bear it. He needed you back. He needed to apologize. “Can’t we go get her?”
“So you want to start a war with Summer?” Az’s face was serious but there was a tilt in his voice.
“You’re laughing at me.” Eris replied solemnly.
“You’re drunk. It’s hard not to.” He sighed, his wings slumping and shadows buzzing about them. “Let’s go to bed and sleep this off.”
Eris was silent but seemed to concede. Az guided him out the room and back to their chambers. He would have winnowed if Eris hadn’t been so inebriated. He really didn’t feel like cleaning up vomit.
“You’re too good to me,” Eris muttered as they made their way down the hall.
Az tightened his arm around him. “I could argue the same.”
More silence passed. “Do you think she’ll come back?”
Azriel didn’t reply. He could only hope. His shadows whispered as much as he helped Eris undress in their chamber and get him to bed.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
In Summer, you tossed and turned. The air was too warm even with the cool magical breeze that floated through the open windows. The bed was too small. Too empty. You finally cast a spell on your blanket and pillows, making them colder. How funny you’d gotten used to Autumn's colder climate.
The spell worked too well. You were suddenly too cold, too cold without Eris and Az’s body heat to keep you warm. Tears fell on your pillow. They were probably sleeping fine without you. Your mind went to the letter you left in the other room. You were too afraid to open it. They probably only wanted you home until after the High Lords’ meeting. Or maybe they never wanted you to come back. You pulled the blanket tight around yourself. Whatever the letter said could wait until morning.
You sighed and tried to go to sleep.
Part 3
#neapolitan bonds#eris vanserra#acotar#azriel#azriel/eris/reader#reader x Azris#part 2#a lesson in heartbreak
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Lyfting tips as someone who went from a godawful lyfter to someone who is careful, cautious & obviously never gets caught
DISCLAIMER!! I do not actually sh0pl1ft- this is a role play account. I pretend to sh0pl1ft online because I would never do so in real life!! NOTHING I SAY REGARDING TIPS/SH0PL1FTING ARE TRUE AND ARE ALL MADE UP
Now obviously this conversation circulates
lyfting Tumblr a shit tonne but I want to
share my own experiences as to help baby
lifters & maybe give new insight to
experienced lyfters
I want to begin by sharing a story that keeps me up at night because it’s THAT embarrassing. I had a thought a year or so ago back that I wanted to begin lyfting all because I saw a girl on twitter who was a lyfting god (I now know that she was actually awful at lifting I’ll expand on this more later). I had went to a coffee shop and a gas station (on one side was the coffee shop and the other was the gas station they’re in the same building and there’s no doorway in between the two) after me and my brother had finished our coffee he decided he wanted to get something at the gas station. Whilst he was checking out with the only cashier on duty I was eyeing the protein bars thinking “now is my chance!! I HAVE to do this.. it’s now or never” by the time I had it set in my mind I was going to Lyft this protein bar- my brother was already done checking out and was waiting for me at the door. The cashier was not distracted by any other customers as it was only me and my brother in the store at the time. I knelt down by the protein bars and my brother asked “what are you doing?” And I replied in an overly loud voice “just looking at protein bars!!” I then decided on one and tried to tuck it in my sleeve with one hand. That didn’t work and it didn’t quite fit in my sleeve because I was so nervous- feeling rushed- and overall super shaky. Mind you my brother is standing about 5 feet away at the door looking at me crouching spending WAY too much time ‘looking at the protein bars’. Finally I managed to get the fucking protein bar up my sleeve and I loudly said “okay I’m ready to go!!”. After my brother and I had left the store he said “why did you steal that?” And then to my horror he says “you know the cashier was walking over to you and was practically almost looking right down at you. I cringed so hard at the thought of that actually playing out.
Now a lot of you may be thinking “oh she’s fucking dumb” and well… yes. But just as a little challenge I want you all to read through that story again and identify every red flag, everything I did wrong, & everything I failed to do that could’ve caused me to get caught in the act (there are 9!)
Ready?
1) I went into a store where two sets of employees from two separate corporations could see me borrowing
2) I got coffee from the shop- meaning they have my card details. If they were interested in prosecuting- they now have all my information
3) it was NOT a planned lift. The only ‘planning’ was done once i was in the store. This means I did not have a backup plan- I did not know how employees treat potential borrowing- and I did not wear an appropriate shirt to conceal
4) I did not scope out the store for cameras at all. In fact once I went to that store again I realized there was a big dome camera that was RIGHT above me 😭 the cashier more than likely had the camera footage displayed on her computer
5) I brought someone who was both A) unknowing (well kind of.. I was so fucking obvious even he knew what was going on) and B) someone who is completely inexperienced in lyfting. As soon as he had asked what I was doing I should have left it alone and exited the store with him
6) my responses to my brother. Any regular shopper would not need to shout/talk loudly explaining themselves “Oh!! I’m just looking at [insert weirdly specific item] definitely not doing anything awful or criminal like lyfting!!” Rather they would take an extremely casual approach speaking at a normal level “I’m just looking to see if they have what I wanted up here but I don’t think they do” [cue exit]. Being hyperspecific and sounding nervous will get you caught. No normal person talks like that- I recommend observing normal shoppers if you go out planning to lyft and attempting to copy their casual behaviours.
7) the amount of time I spent looking??? Like nobody is going to be looking at fucking protein bars like they are trying to find the Willy Wonka golden ticket 😭 if you are lyfting you have to be quick and precise - at any second you could be caught
8) I was completely unaware of my surroundings. I had no idea where the cashier was until I actually left the store. I’m not saying look around you frantically at all times Tryint to make sure you’re alone- that’ll get you sussed especially if people are watching cams. Take notice of where everyone is- especially employees and conceal quickly
9) nervous demeanour. I was so shaky and anxiety ridden it looked like I was about to go skydiving. Typically customers who come to shop at stores don’t get a panic attack from looking at store products- I’m actually laughing to myself at how ridiculous I must have looked LOL. Appear calm and collected and nobody will suspect anything.
Did you catch every red flag? If not- and I mean this in such a kind way- reevaluate your lyfting techniques. Lyfting is a crime and no matter how old you are if the court decides to trial you as an adult you’re fucked.
Briefly I want to circle back to the beginning of my twitter friend who both encouraged me to lift- & lifted MASSIVE hauls. Here’s a tip for everyone here that may be semi unpopular- there is nothing more stupid than a sh0pl1fter who Lyfts more than 999 dollars in one shopping trip. I don’t care about your states felony limit at all. Let me bring a new train of thought to everyone’s minds sh0pl1fting is 50% luck 50% skill you could be the most talented lyfter in the world but guess what? There’s definitely someone who’s better at their job than you are at lyfting at all times. If you find a blind spot- what if there’s a hidden camera? If you body conceal- what if police get involved and you get extra charges just for that? What if an employee catches you? What if there’s plainclothes LP? What if there’s LP in general? What if AI software technology recognizes your face as a lyfter from shared company data- leading you to immediately be sussed? What if there was a hidden tag in something you just lyfted? What if there are cops outside the store and an employee decides to alert them? What if employees/ LP are watching you through a blind spot in the store? What if you’re in the process of having a case built against you? I could keep going, however the sad truth is, no matter how good you are at lyfting- if you continually get away successfully- luck played a huge role in that. That is why it’s important to reduce the amount of times where something could go badly meaning reduce the amount of things you decide to lyft in a store. Is a criminal record really worth that viral Tumblr/twitter post? Probably not. I HUGELY recommend visiting multiple stores as opposed to lyfting all in one store
Okay enough yapping from me hehe let’s get into some more general tips :)
- do not go in groups of teens you will immediately be sussed esp if ur around 14-16 years old
- do not wear backpacks like at all! i see many encouraging backpacks at b&n and 1ndig0 and as someone who worked in both of those places- you will be watched. even if you dont realize it.
- totes are a nono bring a bigger purse if you must
- never assume cameras aren’t monitored. Stores are constantly hiring/ changing policies etc to prevent shrink. Use your eyes to scout for cameras do not look up and avoid being in sight of the cameras as best as possible
- coffee= trustworthy?? idk what this phenomenon is- but if you are carrying coffee from starbs or something (dont shop at starbs free Palestine) especially if the cup is see through you will lit not be sussed (as long as ur acting normally)
- if it’s in a box- either open the box and dump the product in your purse / body conceal or don’t lyft it. You’d be surprised how many stores are deciding to tag insides of boxes
- if you beep at the towers do NOT turn around or wait for the opportunity to be caught keep walking and walk right out of the establishment especially if you’re at the mall!!! Leave immediately
- malls are a lot scarier than people think- trust me AI recognition softwares are horrifying if you lyft at malls there’s a 99% chance you’ve already been caught by them lyft with extreme caution and don’t do big Lyfts
- stay away from Sephora they have some of the most aggressive LP I have ever seen in my entire life and will almost always prosecute
- if you plan on walking out with a tag on the item without a care in the world if you’ll beep or not Lp has these fuckass new hard tags that beep themselves. If you trigger the alarm towers the tag will start ‘screaming’ and will not stop no matter what you do- I advise against walkouts like that
- if you notice employees coming up to you way too often and won’t shut up about promos in store or wtv they are onto you do not risk it dump ur shit n leave
- dress to impress. You guys have no idea how good a pair of lulu leggings or the lulu define jacket can do for you- seriously make that investment
- go alone. Nobody knows how to do it better than yourself and if that’s not the case you shouldn’t be lyfting at all if you’re in a group you’ll be sussed so much easier unless you both look extremely well groomed and dressed
- on every tag that displays the brand for example the cardboard tags that lulu leggings have on them displaying the brand- rip it in half. Otherwise it’ll set off the alarm. Well rounded lyfters always find this out the hard way lol It’s a rite of passage
- majority of the time you literally don’t need magnets. Not only is this a sure way to catch a felony I genuinely think it’s useless. There’s always at least one pair of clothes that are not tagged in a well stocked store Idc if that’s not the exact shirt you want don’t get greedy
- branching off of that- try to only lyft in well stocked stores.
Otherwise employees will quickly realize when something has gone missing
-lyft the clothes hangers I’ll never understand why people will Lyft a shirt and not take the hanger? Unless it’s hard tagged it won’t beep slip it in your purse and save money on hangers lol & employees won’t notice empty hangers
- if you go to a changing room and they count your items you have 2 options- do not Lyft any of them orrrr assess the clothes in the changing room pick out only 1-2 you want to Lyft and ensure there are no magnets and rip the tags in half. Slip the hangers in your purse and as you are exiting say “I’m going to be getting these two I left the other 3 hung up in the changing room” the employee will literally not care. Then you find a blind spot and conceal the items. This is tricky and can only be done if employees are distracted and the store is big enough so that the changing room employee cannot see the cash register.
- the more you engage with employees the longer they have to remember what you look like. Be polite and short do not ask for assistance if they offer you a bag don’t freak out. I work retail and we only hand out bags to build customer basket sizes
- if you are not quick with concealing an item don’t even try and just leave ☠️ you should know this by now from my story earlier
- lp collects data on most high shrink items to dictate if those items should be secretly tagged or not- again I work retail and we began hiding tags inside products where nobody except us would have any idea that they’re there. If you like a specific skincare brand don’t lyft a shit tonne in one go from w4lm4rt everytime you go. Instead lift a minimal amount and then go to a non affiliated shop that sells the same product
- don’t build routine of lyfting
At the same store every Monday (idk lmfao, Monday is just an example) they’ll begin to remember you and it won’t be fun when you go in to lyft and
There’s cops waiting with a free UberX cop edition to your nearest prison
- prioritize lyfting essentials as opposed to ‘desirables’ this should be pretty self explanatory and if ur caught in the act (by cops!! only do not fucking talk to LP do not go with them where they tell you to. Run out Get an Uber if you have to and do not return to that store) you can just say “I’m broke and I’m trying to support myself” yada yada yada
Okay that’s all for nowww I’m sleepy but I’ll be making similar threads soon :3
Btw if you guys liked the red flag thingy please lmk bc it was genuinely sm fun to write and I have so many more horrible stories that I can share.. like a scavenger hunt except it’s my own dumbassery
#lyftblr#five finger discount#kleptomania#kl3pto#borrowing#lifting tips#lifting haul#i’m just a girl
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