#but not really cuz same universe?
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Hell & Dreams
#i'm gonna lose my fucking mind#dbda#dead boy detective#sandman#sandman universe#hell#dream of the endless#lucifer morningstar#crossover#but not really cuz same universe?#text post#screenshots#masterpost#photoset#dreams and hell#hell and dreams#parallels#edwin payne#charles rowland#payneland#night nurse#simon the bully#the case of the very long stairway#a hope in hell#the sandman
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i just find it really sweet but also find the contrast super funny that steven always has a smol cute pic of connie by his bedside, meanwhile connie has a big hecking poster of him (and lion <3)
#also ik i portrayed it comedically here#but as said i do find it equally sweet#the choice for steven to put a little picture of connie above his bed is oddly subtle#but shows how he cherishes her differently compared to the others#not that its more than others cuz steven loves everyone#with connie its just different and i love how its not in your face about it#same with connie's desk tho its a liiittle more obvious about who she really likes having around lol#from the oddly posed picture to the strawberry timer thing (jaaam budds)#both have other pictures that have them and their families included#but i find it really sweet that both of them keep a picture of eachother the closest to where they spend most of their quiet time#(at least in theory where they would spend most of their down time in)#For Steven the picture is right a top of where he rests#for Connie its where she does her study work#(the place where she spent 80% of her time offscreen in SUF supposedly but hey shes trying to cope with baggage its fine)#anyway messy rant over#Connie where the heck did you get that pic why is he posed like that#did vidalia make that or is it an actual picture#Also lion <3#connie maheswaran#steven universe#steven universe future#you could say this was supposed to be for V-day#buuuuut i fell asleep before i could finish lol#my art#connverse
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Soulmate AU but AFO's soulmate is the glowing baby
#thats it. thats the post#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#afo#all for one#glowing baby#my own take is that afo doesnt know theyre soulmates because glowing babys matching soul mark or something is out of sight#under his shirt or something. while afos is out of view of himself so he needs to trust someone else to see it and tell it for him#yoichi tells him but they have no access to cameras or anything. he just sees it one day after stealing an ability only to see his back#glowing baby can see his mark and knows theyre soulmates but hes too shy to say anything to approach the subject#so afo kills him unknowing and only sees the mark when hes a corpse#yknow i think itd always gonna be tragic or toxic#afo was gonna steal his Quirk anyway but now hes really never letting it go cuz its the only way to keep his soulmate with him#spoilers#technically cuz glowing baby and afo and yoichi are around the same age#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#edit: OR EVEN BETTER AFOS SOULMATE IS KUDO. NO TRAGEDY JUST “WTF” “I'LL KILL YOU” “UNIVERSE WHY” FEELINGS ALL AROUND
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i continue to find ii3 baffling. why did they make it (this isn't to hate on the season, i'm genuinely curious)
#melonposting#this isn't meant to be ii neg by the way. i'm just confused about AE's writing choices#i don't remember if they ever said explicitly? at the very least i haven't heard an official answer#i don't think it was initially for any plot reason. my theory is that it's for the same reason bfb and tpot split#the episodes were taking really long to make and they wanted to go back to regular lighthearted uploads. which is understandable#so while ii2 was cooking they could still post new ii episodes with reasonable frequency#but that also raises so many questions#the biggest: why the hell is mephone here#seriously i know people like mephone but i'm sure having a different host wouldn't turn literally everyone off#and mephone hosting this show causes so many strange easily avoidable problems#like the screwy timeline. mephone ditches his show for what he experiences to be years and yet ii2 is continuing like normal#only a day has passed for them. why? maybe they'll try to explain it#in any event if ii3 had a different host this wouldn't even be an issue#but then they made ii3 really plot heavy for mephone which then ended up screwing itself over#the season justified itself as being mephone trying to escape from his problems#and he goes through character development to address all of his baggage and how much of a jerk he can be#that suddenly makes what seems to have been meant to be a lighthearted offshoot season into an imperative piece of his character (bizarre)#which would inevitably make his return to ii2 really weird cuz that would mean he had his redemption arc basically off-screen#but then they didn't even do that????? in the new episode mephone is still his old bastard self. nothing like late ii3 mephone#which means that they're effectively retconning ii3's plot out of existence. as it is ii 15 barely acknowledged anything specific from ii3#but this in particular is especially absurd. ii2 can continue like normal only because they're acting like ii3 never happened#which is just insane to me. why even give mephone character development in ii3 to begin with???????#why does ii3 even exist????????????????????? his character development is literally the in-universe justification for the season#i'm so confused#i'm just glad ii2 can proceed like normal :thumbsup: but these are seriously some puzzling writing decisions
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ok u know what maybe if the world isn't ready for sunrazer post that means that the world IS ready for Amoveous siblings post. This is Milo and Enho and theyre my DARLINGS and i love them SO MUCH. i have. SOOOOOOOO many thoughts abt them but after the previous post massacre i do not really feel like typing all of that xoxo love <3
#THESE DRAWINGS HAVE BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS FOR MONTHS LOL#meart#original character#robot oc#ily enho ily milo my darlings my angels my loves my funny robot guys.#ive posted abt Andromeda on here b4 if u remember her Enho is her best friend !!!!!#Enhos a battle robot who doesnt want 2 fight people..#hes the oldest sibling and theres a lot resting on their shoulders!#shes supposed to be this big metal protector but U.U she just wants to hide in his room.. and make music for the internet..#him and andy have this whole arc abt like. autonomy and identity and junk#being as andy is a government experiment who was raised to be a superhero who. has not yet realized that she HATES being a superhero lol#Enho inspires her!#milo um. does his own thing. he was the second amoveous bot and he is lucky to have been built without the responsibility of a battle bot#which means hes a LOT weaker. doesnt have a million weapons and lasers and such like enho does. no one expects much of him. he HATES IT!!!!#he wants to be POWERFUL! he wants to HURT PEOPLE!! he wants to be USEFUL!!! hes ANGRY ALL THE TIME#its EXSAUSTING.#yk that tinkerbell thing thats like. cuz shes so small she can only feel one emotion at once. and its so big it consumes her entirely?#hes that. he lives entirely in extremes. everything is 100% for him#he jumps to conclusions so quick and so violently.. hes incredibly impulsive and it gets him into a lot of trouble.#hes also a total NERD!!! GOOB!!! says mlady unironically. likes bad computer games. wears a stupid tie everyday. cartoonishly schemes 24/7#enho for the record is also a pretty angry person. they just dont rlly express it. they dont express much of anything lol.#shes semiverbal on a talkative day. he can be REALLY REALLY PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE THO. THAT MF CAN BE SO PETTY. GOOFY ASS#but shes TERRIFIED she'll lose control of her emotions and her body and that shell hurt someone someday. absolutely terrified.#enho is as afraid of his strength as milo is of his weakness. theyre both two ends of the same extremes in a lot of ways.#polar opposites and yet exactly the same. they resent each other a lot. they need to learn to meet each other in the middle.#anyway ''i dont feel like typing all that'' and then i ramble in the tags for ten million years lol ToT I LOVE THESE GUYS#theyre my oldest ocs in this universe and i have so many thoughts if you have any questions feel free to ask me lol
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Just finished my first playthrough of BG3. Romanced Lae'zel, but ending up turning into an Illithid because the idea of making Orpheus or Karlach do it didn't sit well with me (or my character).
I told Lae'zel to leave with Orpheus in the end (I heard she wouldn't stay with a ghaik anyway, which she's valid for, but also, it doesn't feel right to ask her to stay when I know how much her people mean to her). And like-
Her face before she flies off---
She looks so heartbroken and sad.
#emmodii rambles#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate series#lae'zel#spoilers#i don't regret my choices and i do love a good angsty story. but at the same time... OOF.#may you find a new source of joy in the astral realm my queen :'(#for anyone curious- i played a githyanki which i heard is the only race that can fly off with her or something?#but well. again- didn't quite fit my character to have someone else turn instead pfffft#ALSO HE'S A CLERIC OF ILMATER AND A REDEEMED DARK URGE. self-sacrifice is kiNDA TO BE EXPECTED HAHAHA.#anyway- do give romancing lae'zel a shot guys. she may be a hardass at first but it's really because she cares a lot#also slightly off-topic but as a dark urge gith... durge grew up in a city so like. wonder how out of place they woulda felt with the#other githyankis anyway. i think i read somewhere that a gith durge realises they don't really feel connected to creches and stuff#which is interesting and makes me curious about how exactly they were made. cuz they have the traits and knowledge of the race but didn't#grow up with them. i guess the easiest answer would be 'god magic shenanigans' but STILL.#trust me to overthink things hahaha XD#if anyone's curious what happened to my guy in the end--- we followed wyll and karlach to avernus hahaha#what are the devils gonna do? steal the soul we don't have?? TRY IT BITCH#of course i did reload multiple times to have my character kill himself. because that was another option that felt possible for his charact#...and also because i wanted to see how companions would react to it. krewfjewlkrjewklrjewl- although the narration for durge suicide#is also quite interesting! of course maybe that's just me being mentally ill eff (/lh) but having a kill that isn't going to murder daddy?#gives a redeemed durge some control and a final say at last. which is still sad but a nice way to tie up their death methinks#ANYWAY- time to go find a way to convert him into a full-on OC. elves and dwarves are one thing but giths are blatantly dnd so i'mma have#to figure that out for my own story lore and universe--- some kinda new species? humanify him? or convert to another existing general speci#hmm hmm hmmmmmmmmmm-#emmodii plays bg3
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i realize now i'm actually a really big luka couffaine enjoyer. i enjoy making fun of him
#/LH /LH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i actually really like him but in more of a blorbo way and less of a “i think he's cute” way#cuz im not totally sure BUT i feel like most people like luka cause they think he's cute and i do not. i think he is ugly sorry luka#he is very fun to make fun of what can i say. look at him. he is a weirdo /pos#but he's also just a character that is so pure of heart and you gotta love that#he has so much love to give and so many inner musics to listen to#i was thinking i wouldn't be cool enough to be his friend if we were in the same universe but lets be honest.#he is not as cool as most people make him out to be.#most of his “popularity” probably comes from him being marinette's friend and that's saying a lot since his dad is jagged stone.#anyways enough lukaposting#miraculous ladybug#mlb#luka couffaine#ack#text post
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Thinking more about my isat au and I'm gonna need to change a LOT more than I thought. First things first, Siffrin's connection to the wish. Since in Of gems and pages, all the wishes stayed the same. So why is Odile the one looping and not Siff? So basically, what I think I'd do in my au is that the Universe decided to change things up a bit.
The first time the Universe granted Siffrin the means to fulfill their wish, things went horribly bad (just look at Loop). So this time, the Universe decided to give this new Siffrin, something a lil different. They still gave Siffrin the timeloop But made Odile his proxy. So that Siffrin may have helpers in this new timeline, with Loop as the guide and Odile helping as well, it Should go better, right??? And since the wish is connected with Siffrin's emotions, the Universe can't just completely make it Odile's problem now, sooo basically... Siffrin can still remember Parts of a previous loop PRIOR to their deaths.
That means during the beginning of canon when Siff was crushed by a boulder, he remembers that. And found Loop as well, but when he accidentally ended up touching a tear, he now Doesn't remember being crushed by a boulder but by being frozen in time. At the same time, he ALSO doesn't remember Anything else prior to it. So he doesn't remember that there's a boulder that can kill him by the entrance of the House, he doesn't remember Loop. All he remembers is that somehow, one way or another, he was frozen in time within the House and needs to be more careful with the tears. And because of the way that the loops affect Siffrin now is faaar too different than how it affected Loop, he can't go forwards or backwards in time. Siff will always awaken back in the meadow and Loop will always have to do their whole speech all over again (which would most likely annoy them immediately cuz why? Why is it so different now? Why can't this Siffrin REMEMBER?)
Odile on the other hand, remembers ALL the loops and finds a lot of discrepancies with Siffrin. It takes awhile for her to meet Loop and they get to talk to each other. Their meeting would be pretty... rocky at first. Loop still getting regarded as a stranger by Odile, Loop finding out that Odile is the one getting affected by the timeloop from their own selfish wish. Even if that Siffrin isn't them, it doesn't change the fact that they both made the same wish. Loop thinkin bout being such a favourite cosmic joke of the Universe that not only were they turned into This, one of their family members are suffering cuz of them. And she doesn't even recognize them. It'd be pretty hard at first too cuz Loop doesn't know that their appearance changed yet, there's no mirror. For Loop, they might still look like Siffrin, right? But Odile's reaction to seeing them says otherwise.
Anyway in this au, stage wise, Odile is the actor, Siffrin is the director, and the Universe is the audience. Book wise, Odile is the character, Siffrin is the writer, and the Universe is the reader. Why is Siffrin the director or the writer and not the Universe? That's because the timeloops are Still connected to his emotions, if something he didn't want to think about happens like, that argument with Bonbon (just as an example. I'm wondering if that'll still happen here considering that only happened because of Siff had memories of all the loops in canon. He doesn't have that in this au anymore), time would loop back still, so in a way, Siff Is writing how the timeloops go.
#aria rants#isat spoilers#isat au#of gems and pages au#ogap au#also why did the Universe choose odile? i like to think that the Universe finds her as being skilled enough to be able#to easily help fulfill that wish considering that she Was able to deduce the timeloop when given enough clues#at the same time. odile also seems to be both really close to siffrin (the fact that they go on secret quests before)#and far away from the party emotionally. odile doesnt regard anyone as ''friends'' and so convinces herself that theyre just colleagues#but deep down. she also knows how much she cares for everyone to the point of willing to do unspeakable things to anyone that#dares harm any of them. she cares so much but doesnt know the word to describe it. friends doesnt cut it. the idea of them#being like family to her hasnt crossed her mind yet when the only family she knows of and have is broken and incomplete (her mom left them)#so shes seems to be emotionally distant from them. she wanted to ask bout continuing traveling with the others but doesnt know How#the Universe sees that and thought that should there be anyone that can easily help siffrin then itd be odile. unfortunately#for the Universe. they didnt quite expect siff being too closed off and dodgy in regards to his own emotions#so it still end up being difficult. even more so now that odile doesnt have the Full picture at all. she has no idea why#this is happening to her in the first place. she only knows it has something to do with siff and during the sequence#before new loop+ happened. the Universe most likely gave odile that chance both out of pity and hope that everything#will finally turn out better This Time. but because of the fact that odile Was dying and she exhausted her craft powers#she cant be brought back to the previous loops easily anymore cuz even if its still connected siff. her ability to be#brought back to loops hinges on craft power as well. siff is just the switch to it. so in a way. shes Supposed to be dead now#but the Universe heard siff's wish and granted the means to save odile as well as grant the previous wish he made#its just that such a wish cant be without a penalty. and that penalty is the timer on odile's life. they have only 99 tries left
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Little Invader Zim X TMNT 2003 doodles. Or as I like to call it, pot meeting a lot of kettles.
[Below some extra art, brainstorming chats, and transcripts because my handwriting is awful]
[image 1- "So you had a 'real' spaceship, like all these 'real' artifacts, but you can't show me because an alien happened to steal it between the reported sighting and my arrival (wast of my time.)" "They are real, and free! Your government drone failed to defeat the alien glory! My only regret is the alien didn't take me with." "(fury of 1000 suns) Never contact us again."]
[image 2- "Has anyone deployed a drone that I wasn't made aware of?" "No, sir." "Then either these people are delusional, or the FBI is pulling something again." "Probably the former." "Very likely."]
[image 4- "And this disguise... works?" "right? Right?? RIGHT?!?"]
[image 7- "Babysitting isn't in my job description, sir." ("HEY") "Didn't you volunteer to deal with Operative Ritter?"]
#alternatively: Bishop struggling to grasp cartoon logic#Invader Zim#tmnt 2k3#teenage mutant ninja turtles#Agent Bishop#dib membrane#professor membrane#crossover#I have a habit of trying to work in any series with prominent space shenanigans into the same universe#this one was just really funny#another idea was Zim getting pissed at the Triceraton invasion cuz it's HIS planet to invade dammit!#but every time he gears up the Triceratons pull back. and then as soon as he finishes putting everything away they show up again#that's why he didn't make it to the fight#Bishop and Membrance have a mutual vendetta. The most petty of academic relationships#these art styles are really hard to mesh tho agh#one of so many aus help#Oh and as usual shoutout to the homies Galaxynite and Dannisizzle for our in-depth discussions!#I wouldn't come up with half as good stuff without their input
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I love my gx winx au and I love that it's just bits and pieces of me being like oh that's fun and not having any semblance of lore or plot. It's purely contained to the character designs I've drawn for the girls.
#it will stay contained to art too it's not something I'd ever write#like I know absolutely nothing about this au of mine but I'm obsessed with it all the same#like I learn something new about it every time I've drawn something#I don't draw a lot for it yall have seen everything I've done and it's usually just a drawing of alexis cuz I love her design lol#but like I'm doing panels for it rn right? and like it's just coming together like the story of what's happening atm#and that's like the only story there actually is rn but it's just falling into place#so I can actually make something of substamce out of this tiny concept I had for a drawing I wanted to try because I had an itch and it grew#that doesn't really happen to me anymore like I haven't felt a spark like that since I wrote OUAD#nothing I've written since has felt the same#and like I said this isn't something I would write into a fic or anything it would just be too much but it's really everything to me rn#something I can come back to and dip my toe in whenever I really feel like I need a spark again and it just makes me happy#I grew up with 4kids winx club so another reason I'd never write anything for real is because I refuse to watch any other version#like I've tried I just can't do it my mind rejects any other version so I only know the universe to a point anyway and but that was my thin#it made me so happy as a kid and it still does now like those are my girls and they mean the world to me and being able to play#within that space with other characters I'm obsessed with and combine into something that miraculously works is amazing#I need to draw more stuff for this au I guess is my whole point#I need to see what other things can..... bloom....... (heh) within that space and what will just manifest before me#I need that something to make me feel that spark again because I don't want to lose it forever and I think I'm starting to find it again#life has just been knocking down over and over lately and it's destroyed so much of my mental state and honestly randomly deciding to try#and actually draw actual stuff for this au has been so healing. I almost feel lighter#it feels stupid amd silly to say but it's true#abby's just rambling don't mind her
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thinking a lot about how IMMORTALITY squeezes a ton of meaning out of being a game. like, theoretically, you could get all the same themes and significance from watching all the footage once or twice, in order, all the way through. after all, that's kinda how previous game by the studio Her Story was: there was a full picture, and it was waiting for you to put all the pieces together so you could see it.
but IMMORTALITY's a bit different. the thing that you perceive to be the big mystery actually isn't that hard to solve, and is really just a couple stops to check off along your much longer journey of understanding. and so much of that is thanks to the specific mechanic of how you uncover new clips. you click on something in the shot, and you're brought to another shot with the same object, or a shot related to that object, or a shot thematically linked to that object. you're navigating via the Kuleshov Effect, and that means you're constantly, inevitably creating meaning through how you interact with the game.
like, super minor, non-spoiler-y example: there's a set of scenes connected by a cat. you see a cat in one scene and click on it, and you're taken to the rehearsal of a scene that will have that cat, but they aren't using the animal actor yet cuz it's just rehearsal. you're brought to the moment that an actress is leaning down and petting where the cat will be, at some point, later. it's a cute little move by the game designers, cuz yeah, these scenes are connected by that cat you clicked on, but not literally, only in the final product.
but then i clicked on the space where the cat would be, and it took me to another scene, once again with the actual cat. and isn't that funny. isn't that interesting. of course it makes sense in hindsight, right? we're traveling via cinematic language, and in rehearsal there's no difference between a cat and an empty bit of floor where the script tells you a cat will be. you gotta treat that empty space like there's a cat there, or else the whole thing falls apart.
this isn't a significant moment in the game. none of the three clips involved really matter that much. but like, at the same time, by connecting these three pretty empty filler scenes in this way, by taking you from a cat to a not-cat to a cat, and telling you that they're all equivalent, the game is making a pretty strong thematic declaration, one that would be completely absent if you'd just watched these three clips separately, in the parts of the movie that they belong in.
not every player is gonna read that deeply into this moment, just as i havent read this deeply into most of the other connections ive made in my so-far 12 and a half hours with the game. some folks will read something completely different into it (there's a pretty fun discussion you could have about it happening in 2 Of Everything specifically, playing into the mistaken identities plot via Schrödinger's cat). some players won't even find that connection at all! there's enough redundancy in everything here that nobody needs to find every possible point of interaction to finish or understand the game. and all that's kinda the beauty of it, right? there's a million ways to examine this text, to work your way through the enormous tower of information you're presented with, and every single one of those paths is gonna create unique meaning. they've taken the process of interpreting art and made it a game mechanic, without hamstringing the actual act of interpretation in the process. the game says "hey, in order to see everything, you're gonna have to make connections," but never forces your hand in what those connections have to be. it's absolutely fascinating.
#okay gonna talk about the Schrödinger's cat sidenote for a second here cuz ive got some Thoughts now#2OE centers around a mistaken identities plot where two women who look identical secretly perform as the same pop star#but then one of them gets murdered and the other has to figure out what happened#the really fun thing is that both women are played by the same actress and most scenes don't make it obvious which one she's playing#so while in the finished movie the audience would always know who's who as a player you have to puzzle that information out#and so a lot of your experience with 2OE is looking for little cues and building a timeline of events#and thats a really fascinating thing! it was clearly a deliberate move by the game's creators but not by the in-universe cast and crew#and the uncertainty of whos alive and whos dead plays into the themes of extracting unintended meaning from art#as well as playing into the meta-plot that stretches across all three films and the strange tragedies that've befallen them
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that ship art bingo i reblogged but with my ocs
#my art#artists on tumblr#original character#my ocs#oc: zeph#oc: callie#i never thought about these two interacting cuz theyre not really from the same universe#or setting rather#they are in 2 seperate settings/stories but i think they could exist in the same universe
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WHAT UP THE CONFLATION OF SUFFERING WITH LOVE IS EXTREMELY QUESTIONABLE
Tags on this post, by @saint-ambrosef and @mariposasmonarch, isolated here because they accidentally hit on EXACTLY what I think brought about my original line of thinking:
#of course christ dying wasn't “necessary” #but damn if it isnt the most visible and obvious way to show someone that you love them #a person snapping their fingers and giving you everything you wanted isn't nearly as impactful as that person willingly enduring personal #suffering in order to give it to you #thats what we mean when we say “christ died for us” #not because he strictly had to but because he wanted to show us just how far his love goes #we puny humans can know in our lowest moments that god incarnated himself to be brutally murdered #just to make his “i love you” absolutely clear #its not a guilt trip...it's reassurance in its purest form #<- YES #and if this isn’t the most beautiful and touching expression of True Love #the Selfless Love #Love which is Willing the Good for the other for no reason but just that
I disagree with this. All of it. I genuinely think that dying for someone is a shitty and stupid gift, especially when you didn't need to do it and it provides them with no tangible benefit. I think this is a dangerous and irresponsible thing to teach your children.
Martyrdom and suffering are not inherent expressions of love.
I believe in good for others for the sake of good, and kindness for the sake of kindness. But what always throws me for a loop is the Christian idea that suffering on its own is a form of good. I disagree. I disagree with my whole heart.
As a child, I was taught that the best thing I could be is Christlike. And I was Not Okay.
I lived my life ready to set myself on fire to prevent someone else from feeling a chill, and this impulse still follows me over a decade after I lost my faith. (There were other factors also, but religion played a big role in this attitude.)
It has been devastating to my health, nearly to the point of death on multiple occasions. The idea that the best and purest form of love is to suffer - It's gross. I think it's gross. I don't feel loved; I feel like if someone tortured themselves to death and then I was told to rejoice, for they did it all for me! And I'm like... oh. I didn't... ask for that?
I've lived my entire adult life without proper healthcare. I would argue that someone snapping their fingers and giving me everything I ever wanted would actually be a LOT better for me than if they suffered and died. Like, magnitudes better.
I believe that the purest form of love is to LIVE for another person.
I've done that. I do that. I've seen people suffer pain worse than death and still not die just because they loved me. And I felt loved not because they were suffering but because they were doing whatever it took to live by my side and to live in happiness.
Sacrifice is a part of love, but it is not inherently loving. It has to have a reason or it is just pure performative loss, which actually does feel like a guilt trip!
I just-- I've gotten a ton of completely different dogmatic answers today, but to me, these tags are what strikes at the heart of it all.
The idea that we need to place every single other living thing before ourselves even and perhaps especially to the point of self-destruction.
For an example, in the Catholic church, most of the Saints are martyrs! And they were taught to us like action heroes with superpowers and everything! My little sister with their childhood OCD collected cards of saints like they were Pokemon cards! Which is really cute until you consider that they were a compulsive child idolizing a pantheon of people whose defining trait was brutal self-sacrificial death. They were one of the most anxious children I've ever met.
For me, as an autistic kid, the idea that suffering was somehow inherently good helped me to endure a lot more extreme sensory pain than I otherwise would have. I was terribly proud of my ability to endure pain. But now as an adult with crippling cPTSD, I can't help but notice that none of those sacrifices I made actually helped anyone!
I don't personally believe that gods are real. But if I did, I think I'd be awfully angry at the Christian god for killing himself and having the nerve to say it was for me.
I've literally had a loved one who believed they were a burden offer to kill themselves for me. It was a heinous idea for a gift, and I told them so. They were terribly disappointed when I chose the other, much more difficult and beautiful option, which was to live for each other. Live and grow and love in the light. To plant gardens for each other and cook them into meals. To build and nurture and know. THAT is the most beautiful and sure form of love. I will accept no substitutes.
I hope someday someone shows you love in a way that feels more beautiful to you than crucifixion - literal or metaphysical. You deserve love that isn't defined by pain.
#original#religious trauma#former catholic#ex christian#suicide tw#suicidal ideation#they didn't kill themselves and they're doing a lot better now and my partner and i are so terribly proud of them#any other ex catholics reading this - your happiness matters just as much as the person next to you#you are worthy of love outside of suffering#the best way to be a good person is not through pain but through love. and those are absolutely not the same thing.#there is no greater love you could put into the world then by choosing to live in it and live kindly#I think these tags really got to me cuz they are written like they were written by me in a parallel universe where I stayed Catholic#which. hey. at least means they're well written! ;)#reminds me a lot of how Jean Valjean at the end of Les Mis sacrifices himself for no reason even tho the thing that would#ACTUALLY have been the best for cosette would be to have a not dead dad#and once you're an atheist the fact that the metaphorical light of heaven shines on his face at the end is kind of cold comfort#it is an explicitly christlike death - SO much crucifixion imagery. but also.... he didn't need to???? and he doesn't get to resurrect??
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Sometimes I wonder what the Watchers were. I've seen people compare them to angels but. I'm not an angel, if anything I was more of a demon (of course I was also something else besides a Watcher but still-). I remember having Watcher powers meant that you could See things. Know things. It was similar to TMA's beholding powers. But I couldn't do anything with minds or memories or stuff, I could look to see something, sure! But there was always a weird disconnection that came with it. I was always aware I just just an invader.
Any other hermits that were Watchers/were in close contact with them? If so what would you compare them to? - Etho/Voidling
(For context I am 95% sure I was a Watcher)
Our scar has watcher DNA from being soul linked with their grian but has never understood what it meant or why their DNA got fused so we can't help you there... Someone else may be able to though!.. -Mod hels
#kinfession#3rd life kin#mcyt kin#mcytkin#ethoslab kin#etho kin#mod hels#next few tags are from some of the van members aka mod ex’s fellow fictkins in what we like to call the van#check mod ex’s intro post for more info like the kin blog we haven’t posted anything on yet#in our universe ‘Watcher’ & ‘Listener’ are more so titles that come with a few changes and such. i’m gonna focus on Watchers for rn tho-#seeing as i am one myself and know a few- as well as Scar who you can see above & Mumbo who yk- ate my soul.#i was originally a bird hybrid (my wings came in during high school which as you would except was a terrible time & i honestly would have#preferred they had been ‘postponed’ by my body instead of coming in during one of the periods of my life where i’ve felt the least safe.)#& i never knew my original bird species- my wings were just the same color as my hair (dirty blonde) with a peppering of darker sort of#spots? but after i was turned into a watcher they turned a dark grey/black & kinda looked like they were enchanted.#i don’t know for sure but i assume this is another effect of me being a watcher- my wings/species in general change based on my#environment/situation/etc. in s6 they were chicken wings (smaller so much easier to hide thankfully)#in s7 they were parrot wings (harder to hide as they got bigger & my red feathers coming in when the others found out about them caused a#bit of panic cuz they thought it was blood-). in s8 they were dragon wings but seemed to start to change to phantom during the mooners.#back onto Watcher stuff- my eyes turned from blue to really desaturated pink (bright pink when using my powers)#when in full “Watcher form” my sclera are black and my pupils(?) are bright pink and i have two sets of eyes on my cheeks under my normal#eyes. i also have a white halo over my head and my wings turn into the dark grey/black and enchanted look#and get a few (1-5) inches taller. the Watchers themselves looked pretty much the same just usually much taller.#they usually wore black cloaks and lots of jewelry and those sleeveless skin tight turtlenecks and grey leggings i think#i can’t remember exactly cuz my memory is kinda hazy. i’ve gotten more comfortable with showing the Watcher parts of myself around the#others though :] -Grian/Ariana (xe/they/he/she)#i feel like we should’ve put this in the actual post but too late now! -mod ex#mod ex#<- since we wrote an answer ig??
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OH MY GOODNESS........
#aa lb#wow um... i knew that mia would lose this case ofc bc the game already reveals this#but w how well everything was going i was wondering how she would end up losing#i thought it would be a poetic reflection to the case 5 year ago where it was solely valerie's testimony#that incriminated fawles#and fawles who had gone thru solitary for 5 years would then not be able to enact the same cruelty to another person#BUT INSTEAD HE... DIES.. LIKE WOAH...... OK#UM....... very haunting considering. this is what couldve happened to wright. thats uh. waoww#THAT WAS A REALLY AWESOME CASE. AND WITH NO INVESTIGATION TOO LIKE WOAH#i really thought it would end w fawles refusing to incriminate dahlia#and it made me think abt how serious it is to be in a courthouse in this universe regardless of whether ur a witness lawyer judge or jury#cuz peoples lives are in ur hands with how liberally the death sentence is applied here#and yeah thats still smth ill consider but its not quite what this case went for considering it ended in some other crazy way..#Wowww i was not expecting that
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Op Characters Body Study
Id definately do more of these but please dont suggest anymore to do cuz then my brain will shut the idea off entirely <3
Reference Image:
design comments:
Sanji: I wanted him to mainly be in the legs, while the shoulders and arms were closer together. Compact up top, Watermelon Crushers on the bottom. i vaguely designed him with the Marathon runner from the reference image in mind. I differ from the reference in that i give him upper body muscles cuz he loves his break dancing moves and you need hella muscles for that.
Zoro: Big tits & Tank Body. Cant knock this cat over.
Sabo: This man in my eyes is a Barbie Doll. Long Legs Tiny Torso. Winx Club Sailor Moon lookin mf. In part inspired by this panel of him:
Nami: My headcanon for Nami is that when we first meet her she is very skinny and malnourished, then overtime living with the strawhats she gains weight and progressively gets chubby. I just think that Sanji always cooking her such nutritious meals and tasty sweets, and not needing to fight for herself all the time, would lead to her lovely new body type. Something, something, 'to be loved is to be changed'.
Plus, her new fighting styles isnt like "im wacking you with this stick" anymore, its more "I'm moving this stick in this direction and striking you with the lighting coming from it". That still needs muscles though so i gave her some good muscles up top :3
Artist note: i spent way to long lovingly drawing her boobs.
Ace: He's the dorito man of the universe. Broad shoulders, itty bitty waist. I modeled him after the basketball player in the reference image Alton Huston. i think that he would focus his athleticism in Jumping and Throwing (literally) punches, so it leads me to think he would build the same muscles a basketball player would.
man is 60% legs. freak. anyway,
I just like the idea of a perfect body that has been twisted by its scars.
Luffy: Brick Shithouse. Healthy mix between muscle and fat. i just wanted to make him look Really Healthy.
The majority of this design is just giving these characters body fat. i dont like the way gangly abs and tits look i love a chub. PWEEESEEE ODA GIVE ME A CHUBBY WOMAN CHARACTER PWEEEEEEEEEESE IM BEGGING YOU PWEESE PWEEESESESESESESESESSSESESES
*ahem*
anyway
i had a lot of fun drawing these, i love love love drawing anatomy and this was a good learning experience on top of that. One of the ways i drag myself out of art block is i just do art studies so this is kinda that.
thank you for coming to my ted talk <3
#my art#one piece#sabo#monkey d. luffy#asl brothers#one piece fan art#portgas d. ace#sabo the revolutionary#roronoa zoro#op zoro#op sanji#sanji fanart#op nami#cat burglar nami#art study#op spoilers
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