#he has so much love to give and so many inner musics to listen to

[yuttikkele]

i realize now i'm actually a really big luka couffaine enjoyer. i enjoy making fun of him

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

Failing

Summary: Joel made many mistakes. The biggest was leaving you.

Pairing: past Joel Miller x fem. reader

Wordcount: 1.3k

Rating: G

Warnings: angst, a lot of inner thoughts, panic attacks, Joel and Ellie do not talk, Joel is a mess, lots of talk about being a failure and not good enough, messy breakup, unplanned pregnancy

A/N: This has been going through my mind since I saw the new pic yesterday. This is really different from everything I write usually, so let me know what you think. And yeah, come yell at me in my inbox

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part one of invisible string

He knew he should have stayed home tonight.

He could have worked on… something. He could have talked himself into picking up his guitar and pretend everything was okay.

He could pretend that he wasn’t a failure.

He could pretend Ellie was still talking to him.

Instead he was here, the people around him celebrating god knows what, music playing, people dancing and he?

He was hoping to at least get a look at the girl that had become like a daughter to him. The daughter he lost because he lied to her.

Turned out his mother was right, lying was not getting him anywhere. 

He hadn’t talked to her in weeks, not getting more than a fleeting look at her from afar like a creepy stalker.

Tommy was right, he needed to give her time.

But somehow he felt like time was running out. 

Tommy had been right in a lot of things lately. Something Joel was not used to, still having the irresponsible young man in the back of his mind he had been before outbreak.

But Tommy wasn’t that man anymore.

He was a husband, a father, a respected leader of the little community he had helped build.

And Joel was…. He did not feel like he changed much. He was still angry all the time.

Angry at the world.

Angry at the people.

But most of all angry at himself.

The way he was feeling now? Alone and lonely?

He had no one but himself to blame for it.

It was moments like these that you came to his mind.

You would know what to do. You would know how to fix this mess that he got himself into. You always did. Until he had pushed you away for good, almost six years ago when he got even more involved in the underground in the Boston QZ.

Meeting and falling in love with you had been the only good thing that had happened to him since the outbreak. You had seen him, the real him.

The broken man that was desperate for… something.

That something seemed to be you.

But like every good that happened to him, he managed to fuck this up too. Not at first, but definitely in the end. 

And he tried. He tried to become a better person. Tried to become the man you deserved, not listening to you when you told him that he did not have to become a better person.

That you fell for him the way he was. With all flaws he thought he had.

But maybe if he had worked on himself he wouldn’t have reacted so poorly when you told him that you were pregnant.

Maybe he wouldn’t have blamed you and you only, taking the easy way out and telling you he would not go through this again.

He should have talked to you, instead of lashing out, should have told you how fucking scared he was about losing another child. About losing you. About raising a child in this fucked up world. About fucking up.

He did so anyway.

He chose to forget about the whole conversation the two of you had after you told him that you were pregnant and that you were intending to keep it from his mind. Or he tried. God, did he try.

But now, deep in the night, when he was laying awake and alone in bed, only the shadows of the night in his company, the words he spat to hurt you creeped back into his mind, not that they had ever been gone.

I don’t love you.

Get rid of it.

Get out of my life.

I never loved you anyway. 

He could still see the way your face crumbled, tears running down your cheeks. 

He broke you that night. And he broke himself. 

He thought about this last argument, this breakup a lot if he was honest with himself.

He never told you, not in words, how much he loved you. He took you for granted. He shouldn’t have been this surprised to learn that you had left the QZ days after he broke you. 

Not a day went by that he wondered what happened to you.

If you were alive.

If you kept the baby.

Would it have your eyes and his hair?

A boy or a girl?

Where they as stubborn as Sarah was?

Did you still love him as much as he still loved you?

Shaking his head he took a sip from the surprisingly good beer someone had offered him when he came here, his eyes wandering through the room, sneaking glances at Ellie who smiled at Dina, deep in conversation with the other girl.

Sucking his bottom lip in, his hand flexing on his side as he tried to find the courage to walk over to Ellie and ask her if they could talk, again, when he heard laughter behind him.

Laughter he heard before, a long time ago.

A laugh he heard in his dreams when his mind allowed him to dream about you instead of the nightmares that plagued him. 

Narrowing his eyes he tried to remember why he was hearing that laugh, why that voice that spoke in low tones now, made his heart flutter, when he saw Tommy walk towards him in a fast pace, his face worried.

“Joel,” he said but Joel wasn’t listening to him.

He was busy preparing for a breakdown that was creeping slowly into his body. 

Joel’s heart seemed to make the connection before his brain did, heart beating widely in his chest as he slowly turned around, his brother’s hand on his shoulder to keep him for turning. He shrugged it off with a grunt, bracing himself to be let down, that he was finally turning insane and imagining you when his eyes landed on you.

Blinking his eyes in disbelief he released a shaky breath when you were still there. 

You were sitting at one of the picnic tables, still as beautiful as he remembered a small smile on your face. A man had his arm wrapped around your back and in your lap sat a girl not older than five who had your eyes and his brown curls.

His heart stopped, he was sure of it.

“She got in yesterday. You were on patrol, I was trying to find you and tell you but….” Joel heard his brother say, but he ignored him.

You were here.

You were here.

And you were alive.

And you had a girl sitting in your lap that was….

His eyes widened when you leaned back and he saw a little boy sitting in the lap of the man next to you that looked like a mini copy of Joel himself.

His chest felt heavy.

Closing his eyes he tried to take deep breaths, but he just couldn’t.

This was too much.

This hurt too much.

This was the happiest he ever was.

“Joel?” he heard his name from his side, Ellie looking down at him worriedly as he pressed his hand against his chest, his eyes watering.

This was the first time she had talked to him in weeks and it might as well be the last time from the way he felt right now.

He was having a panic attack.

But it felt so much worse than it had ever before.

Looking away from Ellie he turned his head back towards you, finding you now looking at him with wide eyes.

“Deep breaths brother,” a strong arm came to pull him up and his frantic eyes found Tommy’s.

“In and out,” he said, trying to calm down his brother. Joel’s hands grabbed his brothers shoulders. Trying to mimic the way he was breathing but couldn’t.

“Joel?” he heard your voice, his head now turning towards you, finding you looking at him worriedly.

Joel shook his head, dark spots at the corner of his eyes.

“You’re here,” was the last thing he whispered before he passed out.

[undying-love]

Datalounge comments compilation

Remember to take everything here with a grain of salt:

“Ok guys someone told me about this site and i have been loving it so far. Anyway my great uncle who lived in Liverpool told me a story some years ago. He told me that John and Paul actually were living together at some point during the sixties (John even stated it in a 70’s interview) and he is invited by a friend of his to a party that John and Paul are having at their house. He said as he walked in he saw Paul, who was walking around in nothing but a white shorts and John some feet away playing pool. He said throughout the day John and Paul is behaving like a regular couple and he is shocked since so many other ppl are there. Later in the evening as he is getting ready to leave Paul casually walks over to him and thanks him for coming and he leaves. He told me this some years after John’s death because he was sure Paul would have admitted they were a couple, well it has not happened and I don’t think he ever will. I really don’t know what to make of this story since he was the first person I ever heard claiming John and Paul to be a couple but apparently he is not the only one! ”

“Since everyone is anonymous here, I guess I can give a bit of info I got from a female friend of mine who at one time was Paul worked as one of Paul’s assistants. According to her Macca is a bisexual, who makes no secret of this when he is around his inner circle. She does not know for certain if John and Paul were involved but she suspects it since to this day whenever John’s name is brought up he acts in her words ‘like a widow’ and he also addresses John in present tense. He would say things like, ‘John thinks that the music should be like this,’ and during his bitter divorce from Heather he was saying, ‘John says that this is getting nasty.’ Kind of creepy."

“Isn't it well known that Starting Over was written about Paul? At least I heard someone in the music industry mention it, and that Paul knows it. Also, it was reported that Paul locked himself in his music studio and listened to the song repeatedly after John died.”

“I worked in the music industry briefly from 67-70 and I have seen for myself some very revealing things but I don't find it appropriate to dish it out here. One day it will be revealed, definitely not while Paul or Yoko is alive maybe soon after. I'll return here to read all the threads. The most I can say for now, is Yoko gave a very watered down version of the names the Apples' staff gave to Paul, though they also gave a very derogatory name for John as well.”

“Actually the John and Paul rumours did not only emerge in our time. As early as the middle sixties rumours were beginning to spread in the music industry about what exactly the J/P relationship was involved. My grandfather was a entertainment journalist in the 60's and he stated that people were becoming suspicious about John and Paul as early as 1964. He also said that someone had made a comment about seeing John and Paul holding hands backstage during the music Lennon and McCartney tv special, though no one believed the person at the time. According to him the Beatles' camp began to go into panic mode and even went so far as to demand John and Paul no longer sit together in interviews. So believe me this John and Paul thing is nothing new. People have been creating stories about people's 'gayness' for years.”

“This John and Paul thing is so dated. I am from Liverpool and since the 60's rumours were swirling about John and Paul possibly being 'queers.' At the time I didn't think much of it, since it was guys who fought with them as kids who were spreading the rumours and so I assumed it was jealousy that fueled the rumours.”

“My uncle was a sound engineer for Granada tv studios in 60's and actually met the Beatles because he worked on 'the Music of Lennon and McCartney' special. He actually chatted with Ringo behind the scenes briefly but didn't speak with the others. I remember him telling me years ago that he was surprised by Paul's mannerisms because as he put it, it was overly 'swishy.' He also stated that John and Paul acted very strange throughout the evening. According to him they followed each other continuously even when it was not required, as one got up so did the other, as one sat so did the other, they would finish each sentences, and they were often seen staring at each other for excruciating periods of time (his exact words) he said behind the scenes people were joking about them being a couple because they seemed so close. My uncle told me this years ago but I always summed it up to their brotherly relationship. I am now reconsidering my position.”

"The one time I was ever actually in a room with Paul, zillion people between me and him (and no way I'm gonna bother him, all of us who travel in celeb circles have people we're fans of and all of us inexplicably try to hide it to seem "cooler"), he was hitting whiskey a little hard, and apparently it makes him confessional because he started talking loudly about himself and John, and how hard it was not to have him there. (Of course I paid attention and scooted a little closer; when a Beatle speaks about a Beatle, and you've heard rumors about both of them, you want the tea.) I remember him saying something along the lines of not a day passing that John's not still in it with him, but it's not like he can pick up a phone and say, "Hey, just needed to hear your voice today," and even when he got craggy responses, he still missed them. He misses it all, and it's bothering to him that he misses him more as time goes on -- it doesn't heal, he just learns new ways to bandage the wound. Went on and on, and stopped just short of saying too much. He was waxing rhapsodic about John's hands, and finally I think the people he was with noticed interlopers paying attention, and changed the topic".

“Saw this thread and decided I should post what I have heard. I can tell you that John and Paul never hid the fact that they were together in the 60's and they were referred to as music’s 'first official same sex couple' by those in their close music circles. I found this out from my mother who was a 'go for' for a music director in the 60's. She worked behind the scenes for the 'Help!' music video. She has seen John and Paul backstage and always refers to their behaviour around each other as cute, and claims after spending a few minutes with them it was obvious they were deeply in love. She said that George and Ringo would always excuse themselves whenever John and Paul began chatting up each other.”

[sorcerersandskillusers]

Bungou stray dogs takes forgettable characters and turns them into flushed out fan favourites, without it seeming forced or rushed

This series can take completely random characters and in just a few panels/lines get me fully invested in there stories and lives.

There are so many examples of this

Tachihara: No one really cared about this guy at first, a lot of people (myself included) even got him confused with Tanizaki, he was the definition of forgettable.

Then boom, they reveal that not only is he a traitor, but he is also struggling with his identity and finding a place to truly belong, this inner conflict making him feel way more human and making him a fan favourite.

Rimbaud: During 'Dazai Chuuya 15' I just thought Rimbaud was a typical " I have to kill you for power and I'm evil bad guy" and I never thought I'd end up liking him.

But then in 'Stormbringer' with less then 10 pages worth of story, He was transformed into an incredibly tragic figure who desperately wanted save his partner from the pit of despair and loneliness he was falling into; but couldn't, and in the end had to give up his humanity to prove that he really loved him. and suddenly I'm crying over him.

Aya: When she was introduced I just thought she was purely motivation for Kunikida, she was kind of annoying and seemed like a very one off character.

But then they bring her back as one of the most important characters in the current conflict, and are showing us her backstory. which is a horrifyingly realistic case of child abuse, and a parent who loves the memory of his wife and daughter more then the real daughter still Infront of him. And now I just want to hug her and tell her that she is perfect the way she is.

There are loads more so here some rapid fire.

Higuchi: Wan gives her the chance to fully embrace the #girlfail lifestyle she has in the show, which made me like her a lot more

Gin: Seeing her have a life outside of the mafia, and that not taking away from how terrifying and competent she is as an assassin, expands her character and humanises the Port Mafia as a whole.

Bram: Not just making him "I am the lord of darkness, who just wants to consume the whole world and destroy everything because evil"

But instead making him feel like as much of a victim as the agency in The Decays plot and letting him want a radio so he can listen to music.

There are loads more but you get the picture.

So if you ever feel like a character was completely waisted, or that they never had a satisfying arc, just give it time and have faith in Asagiri.

He takes his time sometimes but keeps surpassing my expectations.

Characters Im excited for in the future:

Margret Mitchell.

Agatha Christy.

Alexander Pushkin.

Q

[irkimatsu]

I wanted to write a paragraph about a slow night of sex with Husk and it ballooned in a monster, oops. Here, have some romantically horny Husk/Reader rambling

Husk needs the occasional romantic night with his partner where all focus is on the two of them. It starts with the two of you bringing dinner up to his room (hopefully not something he attempted to cook), and having the room to yourselves as you eat, drink, and chat. He's already got some of his favorite mood music playing, slow jazz led by a saxophone; you know exactly what he's after, and you're more than happy to see it through with him.

After you're finished with your meal, he invites you to slow dance with him. He can linger like this forever, arms rested chastely around your waist while he occasionally gives you the most fleeting of kisses. Despite knowing how wild he can be, you know this side of him is just as genuine. It's not a facade he uses to impress you; Husk has no facades at all. He simply adores these tender moments with you just as much as the wild ones.

You love every single side of this man's adoration for you.

He never outright asks to move things to the bed; you simply find yourselves laying down around the same time his kisses become more heated. He undresses you deftly, not shredding your clothes for once; tonight's outfit is much too beautiful for him to destroy. Once you're both stripped down to underwear, he stops undressing you for a moment. He's happy to hold you close like this, touching and kissing every exposed part of you and occasionally letting his mouth tease the areas that are still covered. He's in no hurry to move things along, no matter how tense either of you are getting. Tonight is going to last. You can't call the teasing agonizing; as much as you want more, you'd never complain about the way he kisses you, complimenting every part of your body before lightly grazing his tongue over it...

Both of you are near a breaking point by the time he climbs on top of you and finishes removing both your clothes and his own. Despite being pent up, he's not letting that inner beast of his out tonight. He moves so slowly inside you, the ridges and barbs teasing your walls so deliciously. He doesn't speak much, only murmuring the occasional sweet compliment in between kisses to your lips and neck. "So good, baby... love ya... so much..." There's no dirty talk tonight, only his pure affection for you.

Your climaxes both build like gentle water, washing over you in soft waves rather than striking in an explosive burst. He lays beside you, breathing heavily, and he holds you close and kisses you.

"Doing good so far...?"

You nod as you kiss him. The two of you lay in silence for a while, and you let yourself get lost in the atmospheric music and his soft purring, his warm body holding you, wrapping his arms and wings and tail around you as if he can't have you close enough. You don't know how many times the music has looped at this point, but it fits the mood so much that you don't care how long you listen to it. That music will always make you think of your nights with him...

Eventually, he's pushing against your body. "Can we do it again?"

As soon as you agree, he's kissing you deeply as he rolls you over and makes love with you again.

You continue in that pattern for a while, cuddling and even napping a little in between lovemaking sessions. He never gets rough or crude; all he wants tonight is to be close to you, to kiss you and tell you how much he loves you, to try to give you even some of the pleasure you always give him.

Sunrise doesn't make much of a difference in hell. Oh, how he misses feeling the sun on his face as he finishes with his lover one final time, before settling down for a quiet day in. Instead, all he can get is the red sky turning just a little lighter to let him know just how long this has been going.

He lays next to you and clings to you, and a light snore lets you know that he's not moving for the next while. You pull the blanket up to give you both some privacy for when Niffty inevitably comes in to collect your dinner dishes, then settle in next to him, allowing the music and his breathing to lull you into sleep.

(No one will bother you to come downstairs today. Everyone knows by now that when that music starts playing from Husk's room, it's best to leave you guys alone until you come out on your own terms. Angel calls it "that vintage porno record".)

[ten-shi-fandoms]

Cute things they do Blue Lock Addition pt 2:

___________________

Cw: Characters x Reader, Gender neutral Reader, mentions of love bites (Ryusei), kissing, showing Reader off (Ryusei), just pure fluff

Characters: Ryusei Shidou, Sae Itoshi

______________________________________

Sae Itoshi ⚽😮‍💨:

In all honesty Sae isn't cute-

Like this man is hot, cool, sexy, and all that but he isn't cute.

Even so he has some cute things he does

Things like dancing with you whenever theres music playing, swaying you around the kitchen even though he only did it to get something, leaning closer to you as you speak are just some of them.

And he does them almost everytime he sees you.

Since Sae is a pro football(soccer) player he isn't home often so he makes it up when he's there.

He'll even be extra nice if he's been gone longer than he expected too.

He'll hold you so gently that it makes you fall asleep, but right before your eyes close you can sometimes can just barely make out the small smile on his face as he watches you drift off.

But if he isn't there expect gifts, and lots of calls.

The gifts are full of everything.

Things from expensive jewelry all the way to the two feet plushie you saw that one time you got them.

Calls with Sae are sweet too.

He always makes sure to ask how your day was along with other questions before he even talks about himself to you.

He also will tap small messages in morse code on a surface if he's in public and doesn't feel like listening to people question who he's talking to.

Though there is one thing that is the cutest thing with him.

It's his kisses.

Sae isn't really a vocal person, so he makes up for it in other things.

The only way to really see Sae's inner thoughts are through his kisses.

His kisses are bold almost fiery, yet passionate and loving.

His kisses always leave you in a state of shock, but you get brought out of it quickly when you see a gentle smile gracing his lips at your reaction.

If you point it out he will stop smiling and tell you to call a uber home-

___________________________________________

Ryusei Shidou ⚽😈:

This goblin is on demon time-

He will rarely do anything cute, romantic, sweet, etc.

He is the definition of a gremlin and its so much worse when your dating him.

To him your his property so he can do what he wants with you which ends up in lots of fights both verbal and physical (he tries to pull his punches when you fist fight unless you really piss him off)

The only cute thing goblin will ever do with you is sleep.

Thats it.

Nothing else.

No sweet kisses, no soft hugs, no prasie, nothing just sleep.

Okay all jokes aside- he doesn't do many cute things with you.

Sure you play fight, have sweet banter, and play pranks on each other (his worse than yours- like dog food for breakfast-) but they aren't cute.

When you play fight he aims to make you laugh or scold him there isn't anything cute about it (except his cheeky little smile), when you have banter he swings on you out of fun or gives you noogies, the pranks are usually downright gross on his part.

But when your sleeping its different.

Ryusei is a loud person, but when you sleep he tries to stay as silent as possible.

He loves being close to you and having your sleeping body close to his makes him admire you.

He'll run his fingers in your hair, along your back, kiss your ears, gently rub the curves of your face but he only does this when your sleeping.

Sure he loves your smile and the sound of your scolding but when your sleeping he gets to admire the peaceful beauty of your features.

Everything is still and he loves it.

Sometimes he gets carried away with admiring you that he will bite you.

Yes you heard me bite you-

He does it for three reasons.

One because your so adorable when your sleeping that you looked tasty-

Two he loves biting you to watch you squirm subconsciously-

And three, he does it to make sure your real and he isn't imaging it.

That your there and in your most vulnerable state nonetheless.

It fills him with so much pride that he'll show you off.

He'll purposely rub his hands along your neck or collarbone even going so far as to pull up your shirt to your stomach to show off the marks he left on your skin.

Its a sign of ownership and its a sign that you belong to him (bonus points if you bite him to because now its shows the world your each others).

He can't help it.

I mean how else is the world supposed to see his beloved?

[always-is-always]

My initial thougts, on 3D.....

First of all, the whole package of song, video, colab choice, and hype is completely what I would "expect", given the market it is aimed at. The target is the Western/American market. That is a VERY different market from that of K-Pop. Everything is different.

Jungkookie has personally set a goal based upon his own desire to be a global star. Global meaning, Western. Make it BIG in the West and every other market falls into place eventually. A truly unfortunate truth.

With his goal of becoming BIG brings in a number of requirements, players, outsider opinions, culturally crafted visuals(to appeal to the Western market), songs in English, giving creative control to those who are the power-players in the West, and a host of other things. It is a huge goal and it requires a lot of different types of choices as well as a willingness to enter into a very different arena creatively.

Hence, the girls, girls, girls. Hence the allusion to hetero-sex. Hence the use of collabs with artists that really don't get Jeon Jungkook, and probably never ever listen to any of his previous music (solo or BTS). We are seeing Jungkookie attempt to enter into a very foreign world of Western Music in a way that isn't exactly in integrity with Who He Is, as an Artist, as well as a Human Being.

The Western Music Industry would eat him alive, if they could. There are a LOT of darkness-driven powerful people in the music industry and entertainment industry, here in the States. Thankfully, Jungkook has strong Guardian Angels to protect him. There's so much darkness in the music industry here in the US. (I digress!)

Regarding the song, it is what it is. I like it, yet don't love it. Nice beat, I do like his choreo (with Brian and his team), and don't mind the women included. It's catchy and I see the real JK in there.

As far as Jack goes, his lyrics and presence add nothing to the overall song or visual. There's no true energetic chemistry between him and Jungkookie. Jack is involved as a way to attract the US market, AND Jack is involved as a way for him to attract interest and make $$ from ARMYs. All Western high-level music moguls KNOW that any connection to BTS or a Member =$$$.

I'm reminded that any musician, singer, artist will evolve throughout their careers. It's the nature of being a Creative. AND, I'm probably not going to always like what a favorite Artist produces. The number of times my favorite bands or soloists released music I didn't love is a lot. It happens. How many videos have those bands or soloists released that I didn't like? Many.

So Jungkookie is exploring, doing, and navigating according to his own Inner Compass. Even if that means doing things that may not please everyone, including himself. He learns by doing. He won't know until he tries, and then learns from the experience. What matters is that he is taking steps forward on his Path, learning, growing, developing, and hopefully attaining some joy along the way. He's got to do what he's doing, as it is how he is wired in this life. This is a part of his Soul's Plan.

All of what we are seeing is temporary, as Jungkookie is also gearing up for his eventual enlistment. What we have now is all that we have. What we will have on the other side of enlistment will be a different version of Jeon Jungkook. That is important to remember. All of this is temporary, until MS is complete...

The most important thing in my opinion is to be supportive of Jungkook, even if his music isn't what one would want. It is just a piece of the journey, and it will evolve, just as Jeon Jungkook evolves.

Let's continue to love him and see him achieving his Highest and Best Life, as it is his life after all. Even if that entails choices that we don't particularly care for. Bottom line is that Jeon Jungkook will always be a changing and evolving Human. It's in his DNA. 💜

[akookminsupporter]

JIMIN'S (REAL) FACE

Jimin, your son of a bitch. You did it and what a way to go.

For a couple of weeks now in my mind, there have been several opinions forming about Jimin and the direction of his career and why I believe he will achieve many things as a Solo artist. When Set Me Free pt.2 was released those ideas evolved, but the core of them remained the same. Jimin was destined for great things as a Solo artist.

A week ago when I decided to make a post where I would write all those thoughts I didn't think it would be like this one. I thought it would be a post where I would say a thousand things sometimes without saying anything at the end, but after listening to FACE, and after reading the lyrics, I decided to do this differently.

Art is a curious subject. Complicated in how simple it can be. Maybe that's why I've never been good at understanding much about it, but one thing I do like about art is that everyone can give different interpretations to a piece of art, sometimes the interpretation will even be different from the artist who created it.

In the last couple of days, I have read some interpretations of FACE and what it means. Many agree on some opinions and others do not. Today I want to give mine.

Jimin has already explained in several interviews what his album is about. His feelings during the pandemic and after the world opened up again. Based on that I came to personal conclusions from his journey in FACE. Maybe what I say is different from what you think, maybe what I say is different from what Jimin says, but as I said, that's the beauty of art and FACE is art.

I think Jimin said it in one of his interviews, FACE is chronologically ordered. Each song describes a moment of his struggle, of his feelings, of his being, so I will try to explain how I understood the story that Jimin told with his album.

SET ME FREE PT 2.

The first song we heard from the album was Set Me Free Pt.2. A song that I personally believe describes the culmination of Jimin's journey. Jimin told us beforehand that he IS free. That he no longer cares what others think of him. Jimin told us up front that the dark world we would find in FACE is no longer his present but his past. He wanted to assure us from the beginning that he was fine.

In the interview with Rolling Stone, Jimin said it. He has already overcome everything that FACE describes.

"I don't know how people are going to react to the music, but I actually was able to completely resolve and move on from all those feelings of being lost. I'm perfectly okay now."

So yes, Jimin is finally free but I'll talk more about that when I get to that point in the story or when I get to Track 5.

FACE-OFF.

Jimin said that the album represents his feelings during the pandemic and this song perfectly describes how he felt, but it also describes so much more. I made a post yesterday giving my opinion of what I think Face-Off means and I still stand by that opinion, but today I add another layer to it. That song also signifies the battle Jimin had with himself.

The pandemic, 2020 in particular was a time when we had too much time on our hands. Too much time with our thoughts and too much time connected with other people.

I do believe that it was during this time that Jimin really knew the intentions of some people close to him and the realisation of that hurt. You see, I think Jimin is one of those people who doesn't let everyone into his inner circle and when he does it is special. Jimin is a person who likes to give, acts of service are one of his love languages. And when you betray a person like Jimin, it hurts.

But now I also think the song is about himself. The battle against his inner self. The battle against his true self.

All that time we were confined to our homes, it forced many of us to think. To evaluate and re-evaluate who we are, who we were and who we want to be. I think that was the case with Jimin.  I think Jimin during that time finally had to face himself. His demons and his true self.

There has always been this "discussion" in the fandom about whether or not Jimin is LGTBI+, for some it's obvious, for others it's not. The problem with this debate is that many read the word LGTBI+ in relation to a man and immediately think of the word Gay, forgetting that a man can also be bisexual. Bisexual erasure is unfortunately very normal in the fandom and in society in general.

Jimin once talked about how he pretended for a long time to be something he wasn't. He pretended to be this strong man. He pretended to be this strong, masculine man that society and the industry expected him to be. That time he also said that he wasn't like that anymore, that he finally was who he was, but I don't think the fight ever stopped. At least not for a long time.

When you confront yourself you go through various states of emotions. Denial, anger, desolation, understanding and finally acceptance. I believe Face-off is at least the first two of these.

Remember the video I shared where someone explained the choreography of Like Crazy? I think Face-Off is the beginning of that, but rawer, angrier, more... lost.

If you notice, all the songs on the album don't have a conclusion or solution, except for the second to last track.

I think in Face-off the inner Jimin finally says everything he feels, finally vents his frustrations and complains to the outer Jimin that he gave him everything but still let him down. And the outer Jimin lets him, lets him get it all out, is finally willing to listen.

INTERLUDE: DIVE

Dive is literally a pause in the story. It's where Jimin took a step back and decided to think. He decided to maybe think about everything that happened in Face-off. It's interesting but not surprising that Jimin here used two of the places where he's perhaps happiest, the stage, talking to his fans and running. Remember all the times he's said he discovered that running was good for him?

LIKE CRAZY (MAIN TRACK)

And we get to the crux of the story.

I think Like Crazy is a conversation with himself. The whole album is a conversation with himself, that's why the use of autotune in some parts of the songs, by distorting the voice doesn't sound like Jimin because it's not, not the outer Jimin at least.

I think to really understand Like Crazy you have to see the video and the choreography as well. It's all connected, it's not a coincidence, Jimin doesn't work like that. It's important to understand that.

Like Crazy is Jimin's acceptance in a way that something has to change and it's at the same time a self-questioning of whether it's worth doing.

Same cliched story, just like on TV/It's getting more familiar/Did I come this far to find the me that you knew? /Yeah I know You know/I know

But despite that I think Jimin still struggles in a way, not to deny his inner self but to keep hiding it until he gets to the end of the song and realises he can't do it anymore.

This will break me/This is gonna break me/No don't you wake me/I wanna stay in this dream, don't save me/Don't you try to save me need a way we/I need a way we can dream on

In the end, all that's left is... understanding and acceptance and all the fears that come with that.

Alone again.../What's the point?

ALONE

The simplest way I could describe this song is catharsis. Alone is a catharsis of feelings. Of doubts. Of questions. Of self-recrimination. It's what comes after accepting the truth. It is the real confrontation with your actions. This song is Jimin saying out loud his fears. It is the acceptance out loud that he was living a lie. That's why I think the word lie was repeated several times because he kept trying to lie to himself, to say that everything was fine but no, it was a lie. He was lying to himself. Alone is a pretty deep song. She does not seek solutions and offers no consolation, on the contrary, she is perhaps the darkest state Jimin reached before finally being free.

SET ME FREE PT.2

Freedom. In Set Me Free Pt.2 Jimin finally gets rid of everything, mainly his fears. Here Jimin finally understood that he has the power and that's why it doesn't matter what anyone says. Jimin finally understood that he can be unstoppably him. As he wants. But Set Me Free Pt.2 is also a juxtaposition of the whole story. In Set Me Free Pt.2 Jimin presents himself as society and the industry thinks he should be, look. Masculine, strong, tough. The music of the song also sells that idea, but the lyrics do not.

I think the lyrics, the choreography and the set design of the MV plus Jimin's outfit are a major fuck you to those standards. It's like Jimin is defying everyone. Challenging everyone's opinions about him. About who he really is.

Set Me Free Pt.2 is Jimin basically saying I can play the game too but in my own way. In this song, Jimin understood that he controls the narrative.

Personally, I think Jimin's real freedom is that he understood that other people's opinions of him don't matter. Jimin's real freedom came when he finally decided to take the power away from his fears and his detractors. I think that's why Jimin demands to be set free because they no longer have anything they can use to keep him locked up.

At the end of the MV we see a Jimin dressed in white. With a soft and determined expression. Soft Jimin we could say. In the end, we saw the other part of Jimin. In the end, he basically said: I can be both.

In the end, Jimin understood that he can be whoever he wants to be and that people can interpret him however they want, he doesn't care anymore.

LETTER (Hidden Track)

This song has the fandom debating. Is it for the fans? For the other members? For Jungkook? What if the song is for all of them?

Letter the sunset after the storm. The lyrics of the song are the reflections you write on paper of everything you experienced after so much darkness. Letter is a warm embrace. A sincere thank you. Letter is literally a promise that now he will take care of you.

But the question that surrounds this song the most is, why Jungkook? And the answer I think is simple. Because it has always been him.

Jimin and Jungkook have a particular relationship. Different. Intimate. I don't know what label it has, but it's special. Jungkook is the person Jimin is always looking for. He's the one he laughs with, the one he has inside jokes with. The one he cries with, the one he gets drunk with, the one he practices with, the one he's happy with. Jimin has always been there for Jungkook and Jungkook has always been there for Jimin so what better person to share that promise with than him? what better person to share his new journey with than Jungkook?

FACE is an amazing album, Jimin not only showed who he is as an artist but also who he is as a person.

Jimin confirmed with this album that he really gets what he wants. That quiet work well done gives great rewards. I will never be able to express how proud and grateful I am to Jimin.

This post ended up being longer than I thought it would be. I don't know if I managed to say everything I wanted to say in it. I don't know if what I said is well said.

If you made it this far, you may have disagreed with me and that's fine, as I said at the beginning, that's the beauty of art. One piece can have multiple interpretations.

[carnelianwings]

Went and saw Gundam Seed Freedom in theatre last night, I have so many thoughts about it (as you'd expect for a long time fan - I've been waiting for this movie ever since they announced it), there will be spoilers behind the cut, but the spoiler free highlights:

This movie is everything I ever wanted out of a Gundam Seed movie - the characters, the mecha, the OST, the cast, everything. It is as much a continuation of Cosmic Era as it is a celebration of Cosmic Era at its best, there's so much love put into this movie I can genuinely say I enjoyed every minute of it from the beginning to the end. My one and only nitpick is that they recasted Cagalli, but Mori Nanako does a fantastic job, so much so I don't have anything negative to say about her performance. (More on this behind the cut below, as I will delve into spoilers.)

Story pacing was actually really good here, in that there's no true retread/recap of both Seed and Seed Destiny. The movie assumes you've seen both, and while you could arguably get away with a cliff's notes version of Seed Destiny (even I know how much of a Base Breaker it is from watching it as it aired in Japan), if you sat through it you're rewarded between the shout outs and extra emotional impact from some of the scenes. There's a few brief clips of flashbacks to the prior series, but to me they feel like they're providing context (as you don't get to hear the characters' inner thoughts the same way you would out of a manga or a novel of the same story).

The animation just looked so good on the big screen, even the CGI used for the Gundams (like they've been doing in the newer Gundam series) looked fantastic. So smooth, no stock footage, you can tell where they made obvious homage shots to the original, but they're clearly redone for the movie. It was a feast for the eyes, in more ways than one.

The OST is fantastic, the way Sahashi wove the various melodies from songs past and present were a delight to the ears. I particularly love how he kept using various melody lines from Shizuka na Yoru ni as a way to musically reflect Lacus's journey and arc through the movie - just a line or two of the main melody, sometimes shifted into minor key, sometimes intertwined with another character's theme (usually whoever she's interacting with at that moment). There's also some glorious reprisals from both Seed and Seed Destiny, all rearranged to give it a grander, more spectacular sound to match the on-screen spectacle. Definitely one of Sahashi's best works, and I'm really happy they brought him back for it. Also, if at all possible - don't listen to the OST before seeing the movie. It will spoil key moments for the final battle, especially if you know which themes are used where.

Now, onto spoiler territory.

First and foremost, I really feel like Seed Freedom manages to redeem Seed Destiny as a whole. My biggest complaint in Seed Destiny is and always has been that Shinn's redemption happens in 5 minutes in an epilogue that was added on in an extended cut - I loved the idea and potential of Shinn as something of a Villain Protagonist early on, and even as we watched him spiral further and further into his grief and anger throughout Seed Destiny, the fact we never got to see what redemption and atonement meant for him was something of a sore point. One of the things I love is a good redemption arc, where the character learns from mistakes they made and improves themselves as a person, as an individual, and we finally get to see that here in Seed Freedom.

Shinn finally gets to do what he really wanted to when he enrolled into the academy, and under Kira's command he shines. For a character that was so heavily defined by his grief and anger for 50 episodes, he's done a 180 here, putting in the work and effort to turn his life around - we get more scenes of him smiling and eagerly working to help Kira as part of the team in COMPASS than angrily scowling or yelling at someone. He's finally found someone he can look up to and work towards being; it's clear he looks up to Kira as something of a role model, both as a goal and commanding officer, and has been rewarded accordingly as the pilot of the Immortal Justice. He's a lot calmer now, long gone are his days fighting for glory on the battlefield, he puts a priority on COMPASS's main mission of intervention and protecting civilians (so much so he'll voluntarily use Immortal Justice's shield to protect them over keeping it to defend himself). But it's not to say his past is completely forgotten or even retconned away - he gets called the Freedom Killer multiple times here (largely as a way to get at Kira too) and while Shinn never denies having been that person, his reaction shows he treats it as Old Shame, something he did but is no longer proud of.

And the true pay off to his arc comes in the end, when he gets reunited with the Destiny thanks to Cagalli upgrading it to the Spec II in the final stretch of the movie. He greets it like someone would greet an old friend, proudly and triumphantly launching this time to the fanfare of Seed Destiny's next episode preview bgm - it's hands down Shinn at his most heroic, and it's a moment he's earned. He's finally become the person he wanted to be at the beginning of Seed Destiny, before he let his grief and anger cloud his mind, before he was manipulated by Durandal. And in the end, his journey through the darkness that was his time under Durandal's command become his strength, granting him a spectacular flawless victory over the Black Knights achieved through his own skills - Stella protects him from the Black Knights' Mind Control, and his instinctual berserker Seed Mode keeps them from reading his mind to predict his moves. It's after all the trials and pain he went through that he comes out at his absolute best, and the Seed Freedom version of Shinn is hands down the best version of him.

Character development aside, it's genuinely heartwarming to see a character that was so narrowly defined by his grief and anger to be the one who brings a lot of the light and levity in what's otherwise a fairly heavy movie. Seeing him as a Big Eater during the ball at Foundation, his entire reunion with Lunamaria after she thought he'd been KIA'ed in the joint operation on the Blue Cosmos base, him getting hit by both Kira and Athrun during their brawl (with neither of them noticing ^^;;) - he's come so far since his Seed Destiny days he's (and I can't believe I'm actually saying this) one of the major highlights of the movie. And then there's his smile at the end when Kira finally relies on him and his cheerful response.

And of course, I can't talk about Shinn without mentioning Lunamaria - they've both come a long way from their days at the ZAFT military academy (if you go off the prequel novel Moonlight Valkyrie) and even from their time on board the Minerva. You can tell there's genuine love and affection between them, mutually supporting each other both on and off the battlefield, between them sharing a room onboard the Millennium and the energy transfer moment between the Impulse and Destiny. There's even a clear moment of redemption for Lunamaria's shooting skills when she shoots down a tactical nuke in her Gelgoog. And while she's definitely not one of the main focus characters in the movie, she still gets her moment of triumph, launching in the Impulse once more after Shinn's Destiny. Even though she's relegated to the Designated Chick Fight, it's a moment of personal triumph for her - she's grown as a person since her academy days, her time on the Minerva and with Shinn and Rey has changed her, and she's a better person for it. Even her time pursuing Athrun (even though he doesn't return her affection at all) comes back as a Meaningful Echo in how she ultimately deals with Agnes. Instead of choosing to kill Agnes in her GYAN, Lunamaria does something of a "pay it forward", disabling the GYAN and returning to pick her up from the moon after the fighting is over. Like Shinn, it's clear Lunamaria's in a better place than she was during the finale of Seed Destiny, and she also gets to join in on some of the lighter moments of the movie next to Shinn.

Onto Kira (because I'm saving my favorites for last), who is most definitely the main focus of the movie, along with Lacus and his relationship with her. Is his story arc a rehash of Seed? In many ways yes, and in so many ways, no. On a surface level, sure - we once again have Kira trying to shoulder the entire burden of the team on himself, of trying to do everything without relying on anyone else, of pushing himself to his limits, and as icing on the retread cake, we're even treated to a CV Kuwashima Houko girl (Agnes) trying to get his attention and affections. And that's about where it ends, because Agnes' motivations are vastly different from Flay's, Kira's circumstances this time around are entirely different from when he was in Seed - this is more about Kira realizing he really doesn't have to shoulder everything by himself, that even if Lacus is a non-combatant, she's there to walk next to him side by side, that Lacus's love for him is completely different from Flay's (initial) love for him. For Kira, it's The Power of Love while also echoing Seed's earlier themes of how easy it is to fall into old habits and make the same mistakes again. It's about Kira finally breaking past his remaining trauma with his relationship with Flay - he finally realizes that Lacus wants to be with him for him, that she never expected him to hand her everything she wanted on a silver platter, that she's willing and ready to work and walk with him to their final goal and destination, wherever that may take them. His relationship with Lacus was never a transactional one like it was with Flay - even if Flay genuinely grew to love Kira in the end, her true feelings for him never managed to reach him before she dies. And in the end, once he realizes what he has with Lacus, once he gets a chance to talk to her and clear the air, he's rewarded with a shiny new upgrade to the Strike Freedom, Lacus voluntarily joining him in the battlefield, and of course, that ending on the beach.

As for the whole "Is Kira Yamato a failure because he was a failed Accord or just Orphee insisting that he is superior to even Coordinators as an Accord" debate, ultimately it doesn't matter (at least in terms of Kira's arc - on a meta level, yes I absolutely want to know lol). He's got the one thing Orphee will never have (Lacus's love) and with that behind him he can overcome anything.

Honestly, if this is where we end Kira's story, where he gets to go off into the sunset with Lacus, to live quietly in the middle of nowhere (or even return to Marshall Islands to stay with Reverend Malchio) where he doesn't have to fight anymore, where he can just spend his days with Lacus until there's some world-ending reason to step back into the cockpit, I'm good with that. Kira never wanted to be a mobile suit pilot to begin with, he only ever did it to defend the people he cares about, and if this is where we part ways with him, because in learning to rely on other people, he also realizes he can hand things off to Cagalli, Athrun, and Shinn (and by extension, Lunamaria), I'm good with that. (I'll get to Cagalli and Athrun after Lacus, I want to save my favorites for last lol)

Lacus always came off as a little too perfect, a little too good with her words, and with a Seed Mode that ... didn't activate like your traditional Seed Mode (for one thing, she never gets the Seed burst animation on screen when she goes into it; she almost always monologues her way in). And I have to say it was satisfying to see that crack some more this time around, where her decisions are a bit more questionable, where she's finally having to deal with some of the consequences of her actions (and by extension Kira's as he answers to her and only her within COMPASS). But ultimately in the end, she's still the same Lacus as ever - Silk Hiding (nerves of) Steel, steadfast in her love and support for Kira, something that nothing can change, not even meeting her genetically destined partner in Orphee. And yes, while even she gets in on the action this time, quite literally delivering the Proud Defender to Strike Freedom to upgrade it into the Mighty Strike Freedom, I don't really have much to say about her.

I will say this though (because it gets very indirectly touched on by Athrun) - if Lacus hadn't fallen in love with Kira, and had continued with her engagement to Athrun as set up by their parents, would she have gone with Orphee? Would that alone have changed events enough so that Athrun might've been conveniently KIA'ed so Orphee would've been able to sweep in?

Now, onto my personal favorites (and complete show stealers this time around): Athrun and Cagalli.

Where do I even begin? Athrun being a Big Damn Hero for Kira not once, but twice? Cagalli taking over Lacus's role for being Crazy Prepared, Bearer of (Gundam) Gifts this time around?? The complete insanity that is the Z'Gok hiding the Infinite Justice Type II??? The (remote) Battle Couple fight????

Cagalli's just pure Crazy Prepared this time. She's learned from the painful lessons of the past 4 years, ensuring there's a plan in place to get her people to safety, immediately issuing evacuation orders for the civilians to avoid direct orbital laser bombardment from Requiem. She's made peace with the fact that sometimes, you really do just need to hop into a Gundam to get shit done, so she's seen to it that the Gundams for the top COMPASS pilots are available should they ever need it. She's the one who came up with COMPASS in the first place, providing some much-needed legitimacy for what Kira and Lacus want to do. She's also very clearly been training with Athrun for mobile suit training - where she once Could Not Keep Up, she's able to seamlessly pilot the Infinite Justice Mark II remotely, a less advanced unit than Shura's Shi-ve.A, without Shura ever realizing it was someone else piloting it. She's back as the Goddess of Victory, now older and wiser and all the better for it.

For all that she hardly showed up on screen, her presence was felt everywhere, most especially whenever Athrun's on screen. Really, I wouldn't even be surprised if the next time we see Orb get threatened by Orbital (Laser) Bombardment, she tells her people to get inside to safety before turning on a shield to protect the cities and then taking the field again.

And as for Athrun - it makes sense he didn't join COMPASS, even though the fact he has a custom COMPASS pilot suit and the Immortal Justice was clearly designed with him in mind. He's found his place in Orb, staying by Cagalli's side as her personal knight. He's even got his own custom suit with the Z'Gok-hiding-the-Infinite-Justice-Mark-II - he's got everything he could ask for while still being able to do his part to maintain peace. And in a double redemption moment - Athrun's the first one to throw the punch this time when Kira starts wallowing in his self doubt and lets his insecurities get the better of him, repaying the favor Kira did back in Seed Destiny when he, well, Saviour'ed the Saviour. Athrun's the one to remind Kira that as a close friend of Lacus's that her actions this time don't sound like the Lacus that he knows, and this time (unlike when he did something similar with Shinn) it works and gets Kira back on track. Poor Shinn - he thinks Athrun's about to do the same thing to Kira that Athrun did to him during his time on the Minerva, but while Shinn's not entirely wrong, he's also misreading the room a bit, not realizing this is a "They're really good friends, and sometimes they just gotta throw some punches to work shit out" moment.

Because in overcoming everything that happened in Seed Destiny, Athrun and Cagalli have finally grown into the people they both want to be. They've found their way, fighting for what they both believe in. Their time apart in Seed Destiny forced them both grow as individuals, so that when we get to see them working together again it's in perfect sync. In so many ways, Athrun and Cagalli (and not Kira and Lacus) are the ideal the Cosmic Era wants to push - two people working together side by side, regardless of genetics, as partners and equals. The dream of Coordinators and Naturals, living and working side by side in harmony - that's them. And ultimately, it is what they do that brings the heroes victory and lets everyone fly off into the (metaphorical) sunset together. They played the long gambit - creating COMPASS (giving Shinn and Lunamaria a means to atone for the things they did, giving Lacus and Kira a legitimate way to stop skirmishes), upgrading the Gundams, being there for their friends and allies when they needed it (Athrun literally knocking sense back into Kira, Cagalli coming in with the equipment upgrades) - all while keeping their priorities in order (first the civilians, then reequipping allies, and then finally going into combat together to take down Shura), and it all pays off in the end.

Really, is it any wonder, then, when Shura tries to read Athrun's mind in the final battle he's just thinking of hot (naked) Cagalli?

[just-1other-nerd]

Good Omens live blog ep. 12

Once again, did not totally forget this one in my drafts, I don't know why you're saying that...

He doesn't have real candles anymore, after the incident

How did he know from which class Muriel was?

I like the way he contrasts heaven so much, it just looks so weirdly pretty. Also, he's just got the gayest walk

Oh no, not the angel outfit

Maggie, love, now is the wrong time to awake your inner badass. Aaand just minutes later we've got an I told you so situation

The circle is such a nice callback and clever as well

The Muriel Crowley combo is one of the best things in this season

Crowley was high up in the heavenly ranking? I just know that there will be so many fan theories

Gabriel, or shall I say Jim, is just enjoying the chaos

Did Gabriel just say "Nah", like for real? He's such a bitch

Why is Saraqael so chill right now?

I'll do myself one better: Why was Gabriel so chill about going to hell? Very sus

So that was the institutional problem, a bit unspectacular if you ask me

Not the BOOKS!!! As a fellow bookseller, this season really hurts me as much as the last one. Why do they keep doing this?

So halos are weapons? Cool. Idk how to explain it, but he throws it in such a gay way. Are they dead? Discorporated? Unconscious?

Love how Crowley just keeps giving orders, and they just follow them like he isn't a demon

So we got the high-ranking angels there, Lord Beelzebub and this seemingly high-ranking demon, but wtf is Furfur doing there?

Crowley just keeps insisting that there is no war and weirdly everyone listens?!

Saraqael has got the sass

I knew something was up with the fly! But I thought it was a false lead or to spy on them, not a container of Gabriel's memories!

Beelzebub is strangely nice and gentle

INEFFABLE BUREAUCRACY IS CANON?! I thought of this more as a fun crackship, and I thought it was so silly that this would never become canon, so I didn't expect the fly to be connected to Beelzebub in a good way.

When he shows them the statue, they just make an "okay weird" face and move on, I think that's hilarious

How his love for Beelzebub not only makes him do a miracle but also appreciate earthly things

But that montage convinced me that they deserve a happy ending somewhere where they can't hurt anyone. The way they look at each other. Damn Beelzebub has a pretty smile

Today everyone seems to forget Saraqael's name

Crowley's got such a fun dynamic with so many people

Oh, that one guy is still alive

Maggie makes some moves, you go girl!

The way Crowley proudly watches when Aziraphale becomes bossy

Alpha Centauri is back, I can't cope!!!

They're singing their song, that's so cute

Shax and Furfur being besties, like slay

Is that the Metatron? What is he doing here? I sense something bad coming

The way Crowley recognises him before everyone else is so funny

The Ritz, oh my God, the Ritz! And alone time?! Like a date?!

Crowley is putting everything back to where it was, that's husband behaviour

Nina and Maggie speaking the truth! And Nina called her angel! Best advice, 10/10. Is this really happening? Will the ineffable husbands really become canon? So excited!

The romantic music from the Blitz!

No, Aziraphale, don't interrupt him now!

Please, don't let that go to where I think it's going!

FUCK IT IS!!!

Aziraphale, I know you really believe what you're saying, but I'm with Crowley on this one!

We get a love confession anyways? I think I might be dying. The way he looks up trying not to cry, like same.

So many daggers are being put directly into my heart right now!

The sunglasses, NOOOOOO!

He really does understand it better than you, but he needs to explain it! There is so much more to say!

No nightingales. Really?! Neil knows the fandom to well, he knows exactly where to hit us, so that it really hurts. I love and despise him for this

Oh my God, it's happening, everybody stay calm, stay fucking calm! They really just kissed! It's canon y'all! But also: not like this! NOT THIS DESPERATELY AND NOT THIS DEVASTATINGLY! I'M IN AGONY!

Not the "I forgive you"! Aziraphale, you idiot, I can't even express why that line and Crowley's answer are so damn emotional and full of meaning. The parallels! I can't cope! I literally rolled off the couch, and now I'm lying on the carpet crying!

Not the lip touch!

I don't think Muriel will do any harm to the shop, but they'll probably make lots of mistakes...

He doesn't take anything with him because Crowley was the only thing that really mattered!

Crowley judgingly and sadly looking at Aziraphale and the Metatron makes the pieces of my heart break again! And the dramatic strings in the background aren't helping!

The second coming?! We're in for a wild ride in season 3, not only emotionally and characterwise but also plotwise! I literally can't wait!

I can't help but hope that he won't step into this elevator until the last second, but somewhere inside me, I know that he just isn't there yet in his character development

Crowley looks so heartbroken, he finally sees their relationship for what it is and now he's lost it! He's shutting down the nightinggales song and drives away expressionless

WHAT KIND OF AN ENDING IS THIS?! WHAT THE FUCK, NEIL, WHAT THE FUCK! HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO US! ONLY SEASON 3 MIGHT BE ABLE TO HEAL US, BUT IT'LL TAKE FOREVER TIL IT'S OUT!

Loved this season, but damn do I feel an emotional overload and I have a love/hate relationship with that ending because as an aspiring writer, I would have done the same, it's brilliant, but it hurts so much!

[sorcerous-caress]

Ok ok ok I'm very new to the human kink thing but I'm wondering if there's some kind of planar effect associated with it??? Like I can just imagine the idea of star elves and other eldarin who come from the feywild and spent their whole lives being so immersed in magic that if they ever encounter a non-spellcaster human for the first time it's just like wow. this mf has zero magic about them. I wonder if it's a strange sensation, like noise cancelling headphones, and that lack of magical energy might feel relieving or sexual for them. Idk if it's exactly dnd canon but I've always imagined magic aligned entities to be able to sense magic like a buzzing in the air, so a lack of that buzzing would be entirely wild for them. Either way, magical radio silence = sexual exploration for eldarin and I fully support it

(also I love love loveeeee your work and your dnd theories and fun inquiries have led me to learn so much more cool lore and it's shaped some of my interspecies interactions in-game as a DM so tysm for everything you do 💜💜)

Wait really? I inspired some of your moments as a dm? Omfg please tell me I'd love to listen if you're willing to share <33. Thank you so much for the praise!

Also I love your theory! I hold similar ideas, that concept is too cool to pass on.

I've seen one similar to its concept in a game called "Echos of the Fey"

So elves in this game, average elves not just eladrin, are all born with magic. Because all magic comes from the fey and all elves share a connection to it.

Humans can learn magic too by using the hammer method and seeing what sticks on the wall, but they can never connect to the fey.

And the fey is exactly like you described. It allows to elves to effortlessly connect to each other, feel and sense each other's presence before seeing each other. It allows parents to feel when their children die and allows lovers to sense when their elf partner is in danger.

Elves can share their emotions through the fey too, they don't need to use words or explain things. They can let the other person feel exactly what they're feeling.

It was described as a constant song, a different melody from each elf in the sanctuary they all lived in. Going on at all times. And sure one elf can supress their own song but they can't stop hearing others'.

You can also speak words into the other person's mind using the fey. If they give you permission to dive deeper into their soul, you can even tell if they're lying about something or being honest.

But again, all of this only applies if the two people are elves. Even sorcerer humans wouldn't be able to feel it or connect to the fey.

It's also why elves seem cold or detached to humans, they are so used to the fey and the immediate connection and trust it gives them in other elves, that they don't bother to learn how to properly express their emotions with words or facial expressions. As a society, their inner personal relationships are always reliant on the fey.

In that game, one elf does move to a human settlement and he describes it as radio silence. That sometimes when he's around so many elves, he wonders if his ideas are truly his own or simply from other elves through the fey.

That being near humans gives him more individuality, forces him to work hard to establish trust with someone rather then immediately earn it. To learn to express his emotions rather than assume the other person can feel them.

It is radio silence. There is no music except for the ones humans deliberately play with their instruments. Even then, anyone can misinterpret its meaning with no definitive answer.

In that game, there are no other races besides humans and elves. And no sub-races for elves, they're all high elves.

But that theory still holds up if we integrate it to dnd! With some adjustments. It explains why elves are so reclusive, why they prefer the company of other elves over other races, and why two elf strangers seem to almost click immediately.

The fey is a constant overstimulatation, like getting constant ads in a video. Some elves learn to tone it out while others are so fed up with it that they'd rather lose their own magic than stay connected to it.

Which is why those ones would move to human cities, would prefer the company of humans and find joy at how expressive they are, at the long trials each friendship has in order to earn their trust.

For once their mind is clear, no meddling fey making them feel other's emotions or hear their thoughts. Only their own thoughts in their brain, everything they feel is truly their own.

Except when another elf is nearby.

But again, each elf can choose to suppress their own presence in they fey, just not others'. So, I like to think that elves in human cities came to a collective agreement to supress their own presence in the fey to not bother each other, also to not make the humans feel left out.

Anyway, exposition over, time to talk about the actual kink.

So remember that dog drawing contest meme? This one?

Where, yes, the second drawing was so beautiful and amazing, but the first place one held an undeniable charm to it.

I think that's how eladrins and star elves view humans.

Ofwjofwjofjwks now hear me out!

They're so used to everyone around them brimming with magic, for other fey creatures' appearance to change drastically through the season, wearing the ocean waves aa a dress or growing a cherry blossom tree as hair.

Imagine a human in comparison, how simple and plain we would be, how utterly new and adorable in their views.

Simplicity has its merits, if done right then it can be as beautiful as complexity if not more.

A human, devoid of any magic and only wearing their own body and clothes as decoration, would be beyond this world for elves and eladrins, literally.

There is another game i played that had human wizards talking about the fey world and the dangers of it, i don't remember its name.

But the main reason why humans were told to avoid the fey world and never go there, is because their souls shine bright like a beacon amidst it.

Every person and creature in the fey world knows magic beyond our comprehension, and all of them know how to hide their souls and lock it. Like installing anitmalware and a firewall on a computer with proxy to prevent tracking.

Humans are the boomers who uninstall system 32.

Our souls are just up for grabs, literally on a silver plate for any fey who comes waltzing in and tricks us into some verbal contract. We have no magic to detect them or to prevent them.

Humans don't last in the fey realm, everyone wants them. Even the most talented wizards who live there, never stay for long or always take a break every now and then.

You are literally the lighthouse, siren and mist amidst the fey sea.

To an elf who is tried of the magical noise, you're like a comfort blanket. Warm and makes them ignore the world outside.

They're beyond infatuated with how much you steal all of their brain's attention, focus all of their scattered thoughts on you or the simplest of things.

How you express your joy with laughter, how you spent time cooking a meal, how tears collect down your face when you cry, how you tap your feet or click your tongue.

Primal life in its purest forms, the most bare form a soul could ever take.

You're the most simple shape, and for that, you are loved, adored for how much you hold. How easily you adapt, a white light containing a rainbow inside.

Humans fit anywhere and everywhere, even in places they're not supposed to. They still tried and will keep trying forever, that's why they keep stepping to the fey realm and keep attempting on befriending the elves or building houses there.

It's hard not to be blinded by their light, let it outshine everything else around them.

In a sexual context, I think elves and eladrins would be so used to magical sex or soul connections that with a human they get to experience having their soul grounded into earth.

The simplest touch of fingertips trailing up their skin, the silence except for the occasional gasps and groans of the human. For the first time their own moans are so clear to their pointy ears, they're forced to drown into their own emotions and melt into the bed.

And the humans seduction and pleasure somehow clicks with every single race, somehow surpasses so many cultural barriers. Experiencing pure pleasure with all the small awkwardness and discomforts, being acutely aware of the pillow under their head or the drumming of their heartbeat.

It's how humans don't need magic to thrive, have fun or give pleasure. How these things are second nature to them, you could strip them of all of their fancy science and magic and even then they'll still find a new way to climb up.

That's the human condition That's the human spirit, to care in the face of uncaring world. To love despite your own limitations, to be kind to something you can never understand.

Every wizard who has ever lived in the fey realm speaks of it fondly, like an old friend. Despite the countless attempts on their life, despite the times they almost lost their mind. Humans see beauty in everything, dangerous or soft.

And they infect others with their softness, make the elves and eladrins addicted to their comfortable silence. So much that they wonder how did they ever live before in the constant noise and buzzing.

Humans are like a vacation you go to when the polluted cities start to drain your soul, they're the fresh water running rivers through the dandelions filled fields.

And so many long to live there, to abandon their apartments and start over there. But they're afraid to steal the humans' light from them, to infect them with their magic and poison the waters.

So only a few go down there at a time, for a vacation length to an eladrin is akin to a lifetime to a human.

[kaifish-pond-afterdark]

Rodrick x Plus Size Black Reader Ficlet

I Love My Hair & Body

Rodrick x Plus Size Black Fem Reader

Spicy Level: 🌶️🌶️/🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

I look at myself in the mirror, turning to view my booty. It’s so cute! Not super big, really just a little less than average, not exactly flat, but not super juicy either. It’s firm. I like it tho, I like my pudgy tummy too, my adorable apron belly that covers the top of my vulva. My brown vulva is darker than my belly, my inner thighs are too. I have a lot of hyperpigmentation. My skin has a lot of texture, I stare at it in the mirror, a smile breaks out and I double finger gun myself. 

“Lookin good!” I say, turning around to press my chest together, saggy, scabby, acne-scarred. Uniquely human. I think to myself. I catch Rodrick looking at me, a smile on his own face. He’s beaming, he comes up behind me and kisses my neck.

“You are lookin good Babe.” He wraps his arms tightly around me, pulling my naked body against his clothed one. It’s taken years to get to this point, I’m aware of how many people don’t love their bodies. Some days I still struggle, but I know my body is sexy. My body is for me, and because of that, it only matters how I feel about it. I look at our bodies in the mirror. We look so adorable, so beautiful, such a perfect couple.

Rodrick spins me around to kiss me on the mouth, “I love you.” He says my name and I feel myself melt into him. He pulls away, and I start getting dressed, I put on a pair of pink boyshorts and one of Rodrick’s band tees. He doesn’t hang out with Loded Diper much anymore, and I’m a bit sad about that. I liked his band, but Rodrick works a lot now, and doesn’t have much free time. The free time he does have he spends with me; taking me to dinner, or walking around the park. 

Rodrick pats between his legs on the bed, my hair styling tools in his hand and next to him, “C’mere babe and let me do your hair.” Rodrick had spent hours a day when we first got together learning how to style 4c hair. Now he’s my main stylist when I can’t get to the salon. 

I hum happily as he works through my fro, “Did you grab the crochet hair I bought the other day?” I ask, moaning as he massages my scalp with oil. He holds the package in front of my face.

“Sure did.” 

We spend the better part of the day doing my hair, Rodrick giving me plenty of breaks and ordering me food when I get hungry. 

As I’m eating, I feed him a fry every so often, his skilled hands move effortlessly through my head, we both belt out lyrics from his band, giggling and reminiscing. 

“Thank you for spending my day off with me.” Rodrick says kissing the top of my head. 

“Anytime!” I get up and look in the mirror, my locs look beautiful, never mind the slight discomfort. 

We spend the rest of the day watching tv, listening to music and dancing around. 

As the day draws to a close I change into pjs, watching Rodrick do the same with hungry eyes. He crawls into bed, and kisses me gently. We makeout for a while, getting handsy. I’m hairy, not that anyone minds.

Sleep comes easy, intertwined in each other’s arms, the night is quiet and calm. 

All is well. 

[revelisms]

Silco, Sevika and Jinx Headcanons (music ver 🎵)

Since my playlists are running rampant (and they're largely how I get a sense for writing character voices/actions/etc.), I thought it'd be fun to share a few HC tidbits via some tunes :-)

Silco — aka the Bloodshark, the Eye, Mr. Crime Boss himself; the man, the myth, the slippery bastard. Also clocking in with nearly 8+ hours worth of songs for this sack of bones...I am...side-eyeing myself. Anyway.

Foundation — Sunlit Grave, Saint Mesa

This basically kickstarted the playlist earworm, for him. At a high-level, this is the song I think of anytime I write him: it's dark, eerie, regal, persevering. I always get an image of someone sinking beneath the depths at the beginning, and clawing out of a deathly cage/prowling to a bloody pinnacle by the end. The lyrics themselves also capture a flavor of his character, as a dead man speaking to someone (potentially his killer and/or lover) who knew him before; who must choose to let go of their knowledge of who that dead man used to be. He is gone, irreparably changed, and he's not coming back—and he'll drag a kingdom to its knees, by the end. (Maybe it's what landed him in that grave, in the first place.)

Inner Voice — The Wondersmith and His Sons, Astronautalis

This gives a sense of past and present: a glimpse into the hard-cracked persona he'd built in the mines (which I associate with folksongs, especially of an English or Gaelic nature), twisted up into the sly, scheming charisma he harnessed as co-founder of the Lanes. For me, the song paints a potential tale of childhood (the lyrics tell of a family of swindlers, from which the narrator is the cleverest son) and a foreboding hint into the future (too much grease can break down a machine; for all their success, a brutal end is eminent). It also just feels like him—it's growly, arrogant, and jovial; drawling in some moments, and spit-fired in others.

On The Record — Time & Place, Queens of the Stone Age

In terms of what he'd actually listen to (of which I think he'd have a extensive range, to the point of his tastes skewing past eclectic into downright bizarre), this would fit easily between a swath of blaring industrial rock, crooning big band classics, jazz, folk-tunes, experimental funk, r&b, etc. It's got that flavor of 80s post-punk vocals that would be a staple in his sets, with a snappy flare in the instrumentals (something he'd nod his head or tap his pen to)—and, funnily enough, has a slight echo to Snakes (Vi's and Jayce's fightsong), which...oddly fits, given I see him and Vi as actually very similar, at their cores.

Sevika — aka the Lioness, the Teeth, "step on me and I'll thank you for it" Miss King. She's badassery in a gilded package, baby—but there's a tender spot under it all, if you squint.

Foundation — Little Girl Gone, CHINCHILLA

Another song that kickstarted the playlist earworm. This is a baseball bat to the gut with prowess, swagger and Try That Again energy—and the transition of the whisper to the drop just hhh. Gets me every time. This song is the battle anthem from a woman who's earned her armor (fittingly, working under a gangster)—test her patience, and she'll be wearing red on her sleeve; dare to cross her in a fight, and she'll drink you down like liquor. I can visualize a snappy two-punch brawl every time I hear this.

Inner Voice — Milk, BONES UK

Dipping into that tenderness here, with a stark note of ceaseless ambition, we've got this song—a reflection, a demand, a love letter, a hunger. There's so many layers folded into this: the desires of a self-made life to be everything and more their host yearns for it to be, even if, underneath it all, what they truly yearn for is belonging. This feels like a young, angry, cropped-hair and bloody-fisted Sevika fighting down the world—and an older self looking fondly, if a touch melancholically, back on it all.

On The Record — Know Better, Janelle Monáe

Put her on the aux, and she'll have the dancefloor congealing into a neon haze of sweat and glitter. The mix of the sax and the bassline here just thrums with her energy, to me: self-assured, watchful, slow-smirking. It's often the kind of tracks she reaches for, especially for a crowd; she's got a bold streak in her, and it doesn't take much to stir it to full display (come here now, stranger; gimme that sense of danger).

Jinx — aka the Loose Cannon, the Bombshell, everyone's favorite lil' gremlin. I tend to interpret her character in distinct "phases"—i.e., Powder, Jinx, and Jinx post-shimmer. These also factor into what I musically associate with her; each piece of her character feels very distinct.

Foundation — BLOODMONEY, Poppy

This is like...the Jinx song, to me. It's about distrust, sacrifice, self-identity, denial, rage, all wrapped up in a spiteful bow of religious allegories—a flash-cycle of whose opinion she worships, at any given moment (when nobody is watching, what do you believe?). It's also just a sensory meal with the sound design, and could even match up with soundbites of her voice so easily.

Inner Voice — Crimson, Skott

Take a stroll into Powder building Jinx's persona from the ashes. This is a haunting, beautiful song, with an undercurrent of something fight-eager, spiteful, and hopeful brewing beneath the surface. In the wake of tragedy, there's still a thread of strength; someone picking up the pieces while trying to find a path back to their own mind. I almost hear this as an apology and declaration of war, in turns, from Jinx to Vi.

On The Record — BOOM, Cassyette.

You know this little metalhead is listening to any splitzy mechanical tracks she can get her hands on (fuels the inventor muse, y'know?)—and I think she'd love this. I mean, c'mon. It's a song about explosions, told through a narrator saying how slipping into different mental spaces feels like a bomb waiting to blow. I could see her jamming to this on loop in her workshop while tinkering with a new flare gun. (Also, as a close runner up, I associate anything Djerv with her, given they were the artist for Get Jinxed—she'd probably have things like (We Don't) Hang No More always on the gramophone, singing to it word for word.)

[fortifice]

AUTHOR PORTRAIT.

Get to know the author behind the blog! Repost, do not reblog.

BASICS.

name: raymond ( ray )  age: 28 pronouns: he / him  years of writing:  for like ?? a solid ??? many years. I was writing on FB for atleast two to three years before I made my way to tumblr in 2015 so. I’m old. DEFLECTION

why did you pick up writing? tbh I sort of stumbled upon RP on a random website I used to use for web browser games in highschoool but prior to that I used to write fanfics on ff.net if you know you know. honestly, I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I’ve always loved reading and writing is sort of an extension of that. 

do you have any writing routines? music, I hardly ever write without some ambient music in the background. If there's a video called study to this or write to this I’ve probably listened to it atleast a hundred times. I also have to be 100 percent focused or I just get literally nothing done. 

what's your favorite part about writing?  being able to allow insight into my character's thoughts / reasonings for the ways they are, evoking an emotional response to my writing and further developing on ideas that are perhaps only touched upon briefly in canon.  

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOUR WRITING.

i.  my capacity to describe shit, be it inner thought or environment I have a tendency to really enjoy ascertaining that the person i’m writing with has a solid visual of the picture im putting down.  

Ii. being able to fill in and add into already canon existing content through both hcs and drabbles while it doesn’t always mean I adhere strictly to canon it gives characters I write more depth that makes someone who writes with them go ah ray really cares about this character that they write ( I hope ) fleshing them out gives me more to work with but it also lets him sort of be like aha they’re like this and here is proof / reasoning why

Iii. i actually have no idea uh the fact that i write it i guess LMAO A QUESTION FOR THE NEXT PERSON.

NEW QUESTION: when you find it difficult to write what are some things you might do to help get back into it?  I read !!! I very much enjoy reading and alot of the inspiration for my writing comes from some of my favourite authors right now that would be maggie stiefvater’s series the raven cycle which has some really good descriptions that just make me go ah I wish I could write like that.

NEW QUESTION: who was the first character you ever wrote, do you think you would write them again ? tagged by: @dupliciti tagging: whoever hasn't done this yet im so late to it.

[floralovebot]

i need to know about your monster high x winx idea with helia !! & about any other monster types for the other characters that you have floating around in your head !!

AHHHHHHHHHH DUDE THANK YOU

okay so usually when i see winx x monster high aus with the winx characters as monsters, more often than not, helia is usually designed as a vampire. AND LISTEN. i LOVE vampire helia i'm a huge vampire helia enjoyer he's always in my brain i'd give him my first born etcetc

However, because so many people immediately go vampire with him, people often ignore other monster types that could still work! LIKE. GHOST HELIA!!!!! Hear Me Out. he's sexy. case and point.

ajdhg but actually while i do really like vampire helia for a multitude of reasons and i do think it makes sense aesthetically and personality wise, i feel like ghost helia is SO good and so underappreciated!! like i have an entire au idea for this Please imagine victorian era immigrant helia dying after protecting his grandfather from idk fucking robbers or something ajdhg it's so choice!! it brings together his aesthetic, his personality, and his choices about red fountain! it also really brings out his more haunted/tragic/depressed vibes that vampire helia doesn't always do (really depends on the design and what part of his personality they're focusing on tbf).

i just,,, ghost helia <333 he has my entire heart <3

but also!! for the other characters, aisha is obviously a saltwater sea monster! it's hard to pick between fire elemental and dragon for bloom... but deity could also work for her since the dragon is like,, canonically a deity so? idkidkidk maybe she could be a hybrid! i usually see people design tecna as a robot but i really like the half robot/half human or monster idea for her more! i feel like it fits her inner troubles a lot! flora is definitely a plant monster but i could also see her being nature elemental! musa,,, is so hard for me because there aren't a lot of music focused monsters in mh,, like do we go with phantom? i kinda like the idea of her being a gargoyle but like,,, idk man,,,,, i like light elemental stella personally but vampire stella is also pretty choice!!

for timmy, i kind of like the idea of him being an invisible! i feel like timmy doesn't really give strong monster vibes so like Maybe he could be human or half human, but i feel like being an invisible would actually work well with him since a lot of his doubts and fears have to do with the others not noticing him/ignoring him/etc. sky is definitely a vampire. the whole blonde rich royal thing like cmonnn. i honestly really like the idea of sky and brandon being the same monster type as a call back to the switch but i feel like,,, half vampire half werewolf brandon is SO GOOD. it's a very direct this guy has to choose between royal duties and commoner life situation and i love it so much. riven being a fire elemental is interesting to me,, i feel like it also matches his hair algd

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

for that writers ask game!!

🥺

🛒

🎶

🤗

👐

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

Oooh, so many honestly. I often end up making myself feel feelings when writing (which is why angst is hard, i get all mopey about it). 😅

Something that always gives me warm fuzzies, though? When they make each other realize the good qualities in each other that they themselves are unable to see. The “I wanna try and get at least a little bit closer to the person you see in me” of if all. The “if you believe I can be like that, then I can”, aaaw 🥹

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

Hm, I feel like a try a lot of different things and dynamics and premises. I go feral when they are all possessive and borderline obsessed with each other, so you'll see that trope sneaking in a lot. 😅

Some other tropes I adore writing are bitch4bitch (it's about the banter), found family, and angst with a happy ending (the worse the horrors, the bigger the reward) 💖

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

I'm one of those weird ppl who write in silence (the brain can only focus on so many things at once), but music is still very important to my stories. I have a list of songs I associate with each, like a mini soundtrack, and I'll often listen to them *before* writing to get myself in the mood. 

Lately I've been daydreaming about my mob boss Eddie ficlet and listening to this one a lot. 

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

Write that self-indulgent shit! Even if your inner bully tells you it's silly, or that it's been done a million times over, or that nobody will want to read it. If you are in love with the idea and writing the story brings you joy, that joy will shine through. 

And after you’ve written that self-indulgent shit, post it! I was so, so scared when I hit that “post” button for the first time, but the only thing I regret now is that I didn't do it much, much sooner. 

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

“Hey,” Steve makes his way inside slowly, ducking around the graduation gown on its hanger by the door. “Wayne called me, said you wouldn’t come out of your room? Ceremony’s starting in half an hour, what are you- Eddie? What’s wrong?” 

Because he has just spotted Eddie, huddled on the mattress with his back against the wall, arms wrapped around hunched knees, trembling hand still clasping the stupid cap. Steve is in front of him in an instant, mattress dipping under his weight. His hands cup Eddie’s face, tilting his head up, and Eddie knows he should pull away, he really should. Still, he’s helpless to do anything but let himself sink into Steve’s comforting touch, his familiar scent. 

Ask me stuff!