#but not enough they have their own place they live at etc! so im trying to be like ok just wait a few years

[orcelito]

Did driving practice today. Actually did parallel parking practice this time, even tho I really didn't want to still. Finally got it into my head that I can maybe do this.

SO......

I have scheduled my driving test. For November 13th, 3 weeks from today.

[zakuryoishi]

thinking about shun and ruri. breaks down and falls to my knees

[uvtale]

FAQ!

Welcome to the first ever UVTALE FAQ post! here i'll be answering some basic info of the au, there will probably be another one in the future, or maybe not! who knows :)

so, what is it about?

Uvtale is an Undertale au where the the humans casted a spell on the underground that prevents any sort of non-monster magic source of light from reaching the caverns, which makes everything really dark and cold! that, plus the spell was very unstable causing it to corrupt.

when the spell was corrupted due to the powerfull(and forbiden) magic that was used, it created a dark thick fog that spread across the entire mountain. This fog is alive, and acts like a sort of hivemind. their objective is to get everything in the underground to join it and the only way to avoid getting infected by it is being in places that are lighten up!

is there anything that's inmune to the fog?

yes there are things inmune to it!

since the spell is made of human magic, human souls tend to be more resistant to it! humans themselves are not in danger of being affected by the mind control, however if a human soul is corrupted enough (with a lot of LV), the fog might try getting to them through the hate in their soul.

Human souls can also help cure monsters that have been infected by the fog, if exposed to their magic for long enough, the effects will ware off. depending on how much time passed since the monster was being mind controlled, there might be long term effects from it(lower stats, weaker soul, etc)

So, are humans living in the underground?

yes, to some extend! most of their locations are unknown, and the people who do know where they are don't like to share. human souls are valuable for multiple reasons.

humans usually prefer hiding from monsters. not all of them though, there are exceptions such as chara.

The Queen, Toriel, prefers to let them free. too busy with her own mind to take care of their locations. Not that she doesn't has an idea of where they are, but to her is none of her business (it is though)

What about the royal guard? how does it work?(+ loactions info)

the royal guard work mostly as search and rescue teams! of course, while still doing their duties to making sure everyone is safe and secured.

usually monsters get lost in the dark, which gets them exposed to the fog and eventually to get mind controlled. Most of them are located in Snowdin, since they also have a lab/shelter there, its convenient for everyone.

Waterfall is mostly unhabitable, as beautiful as it can be its extremely dark and dangerous, but there are rumors of a hidden village somewhere in it.

Hotland, even without lava, is very lighten up and overpopulated, since its one of the warmest places of the underground(as warm as it can get).

New home faces a similar situation with overpopulation

The dunes are a place that exists, remember this IS an uty au too! it is a very cold and desolate desert but also, it has one of the safest zones in the entire underground (the wild east town) this because of a certain human with a bright powerful soul that happens to live there..

-

and thats pretty much everything I can reply to for now, this post is an edited thread i made for twitter this morning with added extra things and better wording(i was very sleepy when i first made the thread whahah)

any other questions that have not been answered here(character related questions for example) will most likely be answered in lore posts! that I will begin uploading in due time(after Im done with commissions probably)

Thank you for enjoying UVTALE! it really makes me want to keep going with it :,) -Jewel

[stonerbamtori]

Purple Haze

synopsis: Due to screwing up at the Strawberryland Annual Fair, Mary Jane isn't very well liked by her fellow villagers. She hardly ever goes into town. Elsewhere in the little village is Peach Beomgyu, equally isolated but for entirely different reasons. After typical medical malpractice leads the unlikely pair to cross paths, things get smoky.

THIS FIC IS BASED ON THE STRAWBERRYLAND EVENT BY @thetxtdevil and @beomiracles 's concept of Peach Beomgyu but with tweaked bruising lore and can take place in a pre/post/parallel timeline to Little Apricot

pairing: Peach!Beomgyu x Marijuana!Reader ??????

wordcount: too many ~10k

warnings: MDNI, fluff/smut, hurt/comfort, sub!Beomgyu / softdom!reader, fem!reader sorry for pussy rocking, chubby!reader (she gets the munchies haha get it), pretty vanilla sex all things considered, but there is slight cum eating, bad language, drug use, smoking, edibles, reader has snake bites, that pottery scene from ghost but its teaching him to use a bong, other txt members mentioned, also chaewon don't worry about it, clementine was cute in strawberry shortcake and chaewon starts with c so i had to add her, idk what im doing, i don't normally write fics, this is basically just a disability allegory, beomgyu is a fuzzy peach like in the og, my shitty sense of humor is involved

author's note: this account may just be me dumping this fic and running. hope you enjoy if you have the same derangements as I do

Strawberryland is an idyllic little village, rather conservative in its values- after all, everyone that lives in it is a cute little hybrid motherfucker. The culture surrounds plants, especially fruits- gardening, exchanging foods, sharing recipes, etc. Residents nearly all tend to their own gardens, sharing heritage with a particular plant species. Some even had full orchards. A few of the villagers are quite popular, like Cherry Yeonjun or Lemon Drop Soobin. Others, though, are not- like Mary Jane.

Mary isn't a particularly tasty fruit. Rather, she was a flower, an herb. But she wasn't delicious. Sure, she was edible, but no one was baking her buds in treats for the taste. She was something else.

For a day job, Mary Jane puts herself to use as a town healer. After many years of trying her hand at helping with different things around town, she stumbled upon her uncanny ability to alleviate pain. Naturally skilled, she took care of whoever she could when the opportunity presented itself. Before long it became clear that this was her natural talent; this was all she knew how to do. Soon enough she settled into such a role. Although many thought she was a bit kooky and out there, she didn't really know what else to offer.

Though she has limited training, she is rather successful. Still, because she's a natural healer, her work is commonly thought of as improper. Dr. Chamomile and the others, licensed in medicine, are considered reputable. Mary Jane is considered shady- not above board.

Still, Mary wanted so badly to be a part of Strawberryland, to be among the people. After running into him at the local market, Mary took up baking alongside the kind Gingerbread Taehyun, who had a rather curious mind. In exchange for information on the mystery of the young woman living on the outskirts of town, he teaches her some basic recipes, including brownies.

Using what she learned, Mary Jane baked a big batch of brownies for the County Fair. But when people started to turn loopy after eating her treats, any salvageable bit of reputation she had left was gone. Blueberry Kai was so faded that Cherry Yeonjun had to carry him home on his back. When their precious youngest is threatened, the villagers accuse Mary Jane of trying to poison them. She is swiftly banned from the Fair. From then on, any appearance she made in town was met with scoffs.

Not everyone was so rude. Blueberry Kai, for example, still brought her pie when he had some to spare. "Just because you're not... great at baking, doesn't mean you're a bad person," he'd say, with a grimace. Others, like Clementine Chaewon, came to her for healing. Mary Jane was mostly shunned into her home, but she at least was not completely isolated.

Although her services are not under high demand, Mary takes great comfort in being able to contribute in at least this little way. The one thing that can heal her lonely heart is putting herself to good use. She soothes the pain of her fellow villagers whenever she can.

-

Something is wrong with Peach Beomgyu. Everyone in Strawberryland knows it. Hell, his hair isn't even Peach. Within a dilapidated cottage hidden in the forest, Beomgyu keeps to himself. He isn't like the other fruits. His garden doesn't bloom. His hair is dark. He is consistently covered in bruises. And although he is rather playful, he can only manage to brush aside his chronic pain so often. It isn’t uncommon for there to be a frown on his face.

Peach Beomgyu doesn't go into town much, but for reasons different than Mary Jane. It was an entire ordeal- he would have to ration his energy, plan for mishaps, and take time to recover after. Most of the time Beomgyu left the safe haven of his cottage, it was just to visit Chamomile at the clinic. Only the necessities.

Today is just one of many in a week of flare-ups for him. Once he has reluctantly exited his bed, Peach Beomgyu makes some tea, swirling a spoonful of apricot jam into the mix. Although the first sip is heavenly, and the warmth soothes his throat, the rest of his muscles still ache. After tossing and turning for the umpteenth time on the couch to get comfortable, he drops his book on the floor. He groans, defeated. If he couldn't even read, he might as well be dead.

-

"I'm sorry, Beomgyu. There's just nothing I can do," Dr. Chamomile sighs, scribbling something on the notepad on her desk. He wasn’t even sure she was listening. Or what she could be possibly writing down given the conversation. Maybe she was just doodling.

"Please, Dr. Chamomile. I know my condition cannot be cured, but there has to be something you can give me to at least help with the symptoms," Beomgyu pleads, eyes worn.

Dr. Chamomile sighs, her tired eyes blinking slowly. "I can offer you some tea to help the body relax, but that's really it. I've told you this time and time again."

Frustrated after being consistently let down, Peach Beomgyu can't help but slam his fist on the desk. "That stuff isn't strong enough! It doesn't do shit!"

At the sudden slam, Dr. Chamomile jumps, startled out of her stupor. Dr. Chamomile didn’t take nicely to being so violently bewildered. She scowls, a stern look suddenly on her face. "Then don't take the tea. Now get out. I have other patients," she mutters, jaw set. Beomgyu feels his heart fall at her look of disapproval, just like everyone else's. Head hung in shame, he sullenly leaves the office.

As Peach Beomgyu slowly hobbles through town, too stubborn to let anyone see him with a cane for fear they'll pity him all the more, he can't help but glare ahead. A raincloud practically hangs above his head. As he shuffles over the cobblestone, a cheerful voice snaps him out of his sulking. "Peach Beomgyu! It's good to see you," says Clementine Chaewon.

The short girl smiles up at him, excited by the opportunity to speak to someone so elusive. It almost makes Beomgyu's frown soften. No one ever looked that excited to see him. If anything, they winced. "...Hi Clementine Chaewon," he murmurs awkwardly, dropping his gaze.

Chaewon, although cheerful, is not tone deaf. "What's wrong?" she murmurs gently, tilting her head slightly to try and catch his eyes.

Beomgyu sighs, dragging a hand through his hair. "Dr. Chamomile says there's nothing more she can do for me. I mean, look at me. I'm all fucked up, there's no hiding it. How am I supposed to live like this, knowing I'm never going to get better?" His voice cracks with vulnerability as he extends his bruised arms. Shit- he really hadn't meant to say that much, especially stuff so dark. It just slipped out. Maybe he was beginning to reach a breaking point.

Chaewon's eyes widen. To say she didn't see that coming would be an understatement. Peach Beomgyu hardly ever spoke more than a few words, infamously quiet. After a moment, though, her gaze softens with compassion. "Beomgyu, please don't say that. You're not 'all fucked up'. You're just bruised," she gets out after a sputter.

Beomgyu sighs, unable to help but relent under her kind-hearted words. But who was going to pick on the bruised guy? Of course she had to say that. "Thanks. I just wish I wasn't in pain, that's all. Even if I am different from everyone else, even if I can't bear fruit- that's fine... I just wish these bruises didn't ache."

Chaewon sighs, nodding in understanding. She's quiet for a moment, gaze drifting aside as she thinks. Finally, she suggests, "Why not go to Mary Jane?"

Peach Beomgyu furrows his brows. It went without saying that he was a total homebody. The only people he knew in town were the ones he came across when he was forced out of his hideaway. "Who's Mary Jane?"

"Marijuana. She lives on Hemp Lane. She does natural healing. I know it sounds like snake oil salesman nonsense, but she really helped me when I hurt my back last year gardening!" Clementine Chaewon explains.

Beomgyu narrows his gaze as he considers this, nose scrunching up in distaste. As a well-read man, Beomgyu always thought of himself as informed. A man of science. He was too intellectual for essential oils and natural remedies. That stuff was all scams.

Still, the desperation in the back of his mind doesn't want to completely let go of the idea. It is still hope, albeit half-hearted. "...It's not like I have anything to lose," he sighs. "Thank you, Chaewon. I'll give it a shot."

Chaewon smiles once again. "Of course! Do you need any help getting home?"

Beomgyu frantically shakes his head. "Oh, no, no! Thank you, but I'm alright." And just like that, he scrambles to return to his walk home before she can insist. He's not sure if it's his pride or his general hatred of small talk that propels him, but he's off.

"No problem. Have a good night!" Chaewon calls after him with a wave and a beaming smile, before heading off in the other direction.

Beomgyu can't help but let out a huff as soon as he's out of earshot, pain shooting up his legs as he rigidly corrects his posture for imagined prying eyes. Appearing in public was always a performance. As he continues the trek home, it's as if his mind turns off. The only thing he can focus on is the deliberate effort of every step. When his cottage finally comes into view, he thinks he could weep for joy.

Once inside, he collapses on the couch. He doesn't get up again until the next day.

-

It's about noon when Mary blinks her bleary eyes open. People didn't come by often, and certainly didn't in the morning hours. With a yawn, she stretches, relaxed muscles coming to life one by one.

It's a day like any other. Mary tends to her plants in the yard, watering and surveying them. She mostly grows marijuana, of course, the plant passed through her family. Still, she's experimented with many variations. Her favorite is Purple Haze for its beautiful color- and lucky is she, for it matches her hair.

Once Mary is satisfied with the state of her crops, she returns inside. She hums as she enters the kitchen, grabbing a few buds from a jar on the counter. In one swift move, she clicks on the radio and grabs the mortar and pestle.

Mary sings along to the tune as she grinds down the buds, too lost in the song to pay much attention. Once she feels little resistance, she smiles down at the bowl. Perfect.

When she sits down on the couch and sets the bowl on her coffee table beside her favorite bong, her tranquility is interrupted as she hears a knock at the door. She pauses, brows furrowing. Had she imagined that? No one called to say they were coming today. Maybe it was just part of the song on the radio?

When another knock is heard, she hums, pouting in surprise. She makes her way to open the door, only to have to squint into the bright sunlight.

Slowly, her pupils adjust to the light, green irises rimmed with red more visible. The young man standing before her isn't someone she recognizes, and he's at least a head taller than her as she looks up. "Hello," she murmurs with a lazy smile, eyes a bit droopy.

"Uh, hi. Are you Mary Jane?" Peach Beomgyu asks nervously. What was with this girl? She looked half asleep.

She blinks for a moment. "Hm? Oh, yeah. That's me," she drawls, a bit dazed. Still, Mary notices the way he shakes, frowning slightly and giving him a once over. It wasn't just anxiety- he was leaning on a cane of beautifully carved wood. Her eyes light up at the sight. "Holy shit, that's an excellent cane you have. Come in!"

Beomgyu's eyes widen a bit, not expecting a genuine compliment on his mobility aid. "Ah, thank you..." He nods with a slight blush, slowly stepping inside behind her. Mary closes the door and gestures for him to sit on the couch.

Mary Jane smiles, patiently waiting until he's comfortably sat to join him. "Did you carve it yourself?" she asks excitedly. With the cane at the forefront of her mind, she'd forgotten to ask why he was even here. It wasn't immediately important.

"Uh, yeah, I did..." Beomgyu says nervously, eyes surveying the items on her coffee table. A bowl of herbs and some sort of... phallic contraption. Maybe coming here was a bad idea.

"Well, you're very talented. I'm a bit of an artist myself in my free time, but everything I've whittled is shit compared to that," Mary chuckles, before catching herself cursing. "Oh shit- sorry, I have a bad habit of swearing..." she murmurs, voice softer and apologetic.

Peach Beomgyu chuckles. "It's fine. I'm not hurt by little words," he says with a smirk, before sighing. "So, Chaewon told me you do healing and stuff. Is that true?"

Mary blinks, spacey and having forgotten the task at hand. Ah! "Yeah, I try! I'm a bit of an amateur, but I do my best. I'm CPR certified by the Strawberry Council," she announces proudly, a self-satisfied grin on her face as she raises her chin high.

Beomgyu can't help but chuckle a bit at her goofy display of pride over something so simple. There's something charming about it. "Wow. I'm impressed," he murmurs half-heartedly.

Although Mary Jane picks up on his half-sincerity, she smiles. "Thanks. So you need to be healed, do you... what's your name?"

Beomgyu chuckles again. Mary didn't seem too quick to the punch. "I'm Peach Beomgyu. Nice to meet you," he introduces, giving a slight bow of his head, which Mary returns.

"A peach? No wonder you are here for healing. You're awfully bruised," Mary murmurs with a frown, gaze drifting from the brown hair atop his head to the marks on his fuzzy arms. It was as if she dumped a bucket of ice water on his head. Most of the villagers wouldn't acknowledge any of it out loud. Too awkward, too taboo. But Mary Jane is taboo.

It took Beomgyu a second to gather himself enough to answer coherently. "...Yeah... I was just born this way. I've been to Dr. Chamomile several times, and even traveled further to visit Dr. Ginseng, but there's no cure. The only thing I can do is try to be comfortable as I live with it," Beomgyu explains, voice a bit gentler than before. It was as if his voice handled the fragile topic as delicately as it could.

Mary Jane nods slowly, a look of acknowledgement taking over her eyes that betrays an unexpected wisdom. "So the system is failing you, and you need to get creative?" she murmurs, much more invested, though her little grin provides the smallest hint of levity. Peach Beomgyu lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

“Yeah… Can you help me?” Peach Beomgyu whispers, lower lip caught between his teeth. He didn’t mean to plead, but the desperation in his eyes was hard to hide. He didn’t want to hurt anymore. 

Mary Jane smiles, resting a hand on his shoulder gently, careful not to hurt his tender skin. “Of course. I assume you are coming here because you're willing to try some less conventional options. You know about my reputation, right?" she asks with a grimace.

Beomgyu nods. "Yeah, I'm aware of the risks.... I'm still interested," he murmurs meekly.

Mary Jane nods, keeping a trained neutrality on her face so as not to sway his decision. "Marijuana helps with pain relief- not strong enough for surgery, for example, but certainly for body aches and pains,” she explains swiftly, sitting up straighter. “Do you smoke?”

Peach Beomgyu’s eyes widen a bit as his cheeks flush pink. “Uh, not really… I can if that’s the only option, but…” he trails off, awkwardly averting his gaze. He didn’t fuck with his lungs. He already had enough to deal with when it came to the bruising.

Mary Jane shakes her head with a smile. “No, no, don’t worry about it! I have edibles. It takes longer for it to kick in, but it is also generally stronger. Since this is your first time, I’ll give you a low dose to try,” she explains, standing to her feet. The soft patter of her feet is heard as she walks into her kitchen to retrieve two brownies- one for each of them. 

“Brownies?” Beomgyu asks, furrowing a brow. 

Mary Jane nods. “Yup! They might taste slightly off because of the pot, but I think they’re passable,” she says with a grin, extending the plate. Beomgyu takes a brownie, frowning slightly as he examines it. There was obvious hesitation in his eyes. Was it really worth this? He didn’t know what was scarier, if he had a bad reaction, or if it just didn’t work. Did he really want to eat something strange from this girl?

“Do you trust me?” Mary Jane asks softly, rousing him from his thoughts. Beomgyu was about to say no when he looks up at her face, at her eyes sparkling with hope, and suddenly he's taking a bite.

It was alright. He chews slowly.

Mary Jane beams, sitting beside him again and eating a brownie of her own. 

The two finish their treats and sit in awkward silence.

“....So… How long is this supposed to take to kick in?” Peach Beomgyu whispers, twiddling with his thumbs.

“Twenty minutes on an empty stomach,” she murmurs back. “It has to digest to hit your bloodstream.”

“Oh,” Beomgyu remarks softly with a slight nod. 

The silence is regular for Beomgyu, but unbearable for Mary Jane. After another minute, she can’t help but yap again. “So, Peach Beomgyu! I’m a healer or whatever, but what do you do? How do you pass the time?”

Beomgyu blinks, unsure where the girl who can barely keep her eyes fully open gets the energy. “Well, I don’t go out much on account of the bruising… I usually pass the time reading.” 

At this, Mary Jane lights up. “Reading? I love books! What do you read?” she asks excitedly, nearly a golden retriever at this moment. Maybe if she’s enthusiastic enough, he will crack a smile.

Not yet, though. “Uh, mostly fantasy. I mostly read fiction, novels. I like scifi too, but fantasy is my favorite,” Beomgyu explains, more interested than before, maybe, but still far from excited.

“Ah. I only really read nonfiction. I’m a bit of a nerd, I guess,” Mary Jane confesses sheepishly. It’s this that finally gets a reaction out of Beomgyu, eyebrows shooting up. 

“Nonfiction? Really? But isn’t it boring?” he implores, eyes widened. “I don’t really read that stuff for fun.”

“Not at all! I love to learn about the outside world. I can’t experience all of it myself, but I can learn about it. I can hear the stories of those who came before me, too. Of how the world became this way,” she muses, thoughtful words in contrast to her lazy drawl. At this, Beomgyu pouts in consideration. He gives her a shrug. “Besides, doesn’t fiction kind of get boring sometimes? When you think about how the stories aren’t even real…”

Peach Beomgyu can’t help but blink as he realizes the differences in their ways of thinking. He didn’t anticipate that this eccentric girl would be, perhaps, a bigger nerd than him, but anything was possible. Before he can think much further into it, though, his eyes start to feel a bit fuzzy- and not like his peach fuzz. “Uh, Mary Jane? I’m starting to feel it, I think,” he stutters softly, chest warm.

Mary Jane’s eyes light up as she peers over at him, examining his demeanor. Drooping posture, half-lidded eyes… “You’re high,” she smiles. 

“High?” Beomgyu asks, brows furrowing. “Isn’t that bad?”

Mary Jane shrugs. “It won’t harm your body nearly as much as alcohol would, because it stresses your liver. And since you didn’t even smoke it, your lungs will be fine. Marijuana is a depressant like alcohol, so it general slows down the nervous system. The high will last about two or three hours.” When she sees the nervous look on his face, she softens a bit further. "You wanted to give it a try, right?"

Beomgyu slowly nods. He had been willing. It’s just that now that he’s heard the term “high” all his negative associations begin to surface once more. Still, this really wasn’t that bad. For once, his arms weren’t aching, and neither were his legs. Even the bruise on his ribs was conspicuously numb. “I did. I guess I’m just nervous because I’ve never been high before…” he trails off. 

Mary Jane hums in understanding, her own edible starting to hit as well. “It’s okay, you’ll be fine. I’ll be right here in case you have a bad reaction or anything. You should expect some dry mouth though. Unfortunate side effect,” she chuckles. Beomgyu nods, cracking a small smile at the sound of her laugh. 

“Alright, I guess I can live with that,” he murmurs playfully, relaxing further into the couch cushions. The further he sinks into the plush stuffing, the more weightless he feels. It’s almost akin to floating on clouds, if they were covered in corduroy. A feeling of relaxation and general pleasantness washes over not only his body, but also his mind. His anxieties begin to fade.

Mary Jane tilts her head, gaze narrowing as she gives him a knowing look. He was rather cute as he grew more dazed. She hadn’t known him for long, but this was the first time she’d seen him so peaceful. “So how do you feel? How’s the pain?”

Beomgyu hums happily as he melts into the couch beside her. He hadn’t even consciously thought about the bruising, really. But his pain was definitely alleviated in this moment. Or maybe some of it was there, but the high made him not care, made it not bother him. He wasn’t sure. But before Beomgyu can even realize it, silent tears slip down his cheeks. This is the first time he's been without pain in years.

The second Mary sees his tears, her heart aches, and she quickly touches his shoulder again. “Oh, Beom, are you okay? Why are you crying, Peach?” she coos, a more doting side of her coming out. She was a caretaker, ultimately. 

Peach Beomgyu sniffles, wiping his face clumsily with the back of his hand. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it's just… I can’t remember the last time I felt relief like this,” he confesses in a whimper. Mary’s heart wrenches. 

Hesitant, she opens her arms. “Oh, sweetheart… can I hold you?” she whispers, needing permission before she touches him, no matter how much her heart was screaming at her too. Especially with his sensitive skin. There were times when having discipline was important, to not impulsively give into her instincts, and this was one of them.

When Beomgyu wordlessly nods, Mary Jane scoops him up in her arms as delicately as she can, cradling his taller form against hers. She’s soft to the touch, squishy under his weight. After all, all these years of the munchies hadn’t left her particularly skinny. 

Beomgyu lets out a shaky sigh as he eases in her grasp, slowly letting go of his muscles. He didn’t want to crush her with his weight, but the high was relaxing his body so much. He felt so heavy, but not in a bad way. Mary Jane quietly coos again, gently stroking his back over his shirt. Beomgyu can’t help but give in completely, melting into a puddle in her hold. 

“...thank you,” he whispers meekly, a small, vulnerable voice. 

Mary Jane knew in that moment she would protect him to her death. 

“Of course, angel. You don’t need to thank me. You deserve to feel comfortable, to exist without pain…” she whispers back. 

And just like that, the two remain cuddled on her couch in comfortable silence. 

-

It becomes clear rather quickly that Beomgyu needed this kind of support regularly, and there was no reason for Mary to deny him. If she could help it, he would never feel pain again. After he went back home that first time, he’s continued to drop by regularly. Mary Jane offered to bring his supply to his house, but Beomgyu insisted that he needed to get out of the house once a week. Mary Jane didn’t realize what a little safe haven her home had come to feel like to him.

It’s a month later when Mary carefully blows him a glass bong of his own, forging in her garage. The smoke isn't anything out of the ordinary, anyway. She carefully sculpts the molten glass, adding a peach shaped bulb for the water to sit in at the base. Once the glass is cooled enough, Mary Jane can’t help calling him. 

“Peach Beomgyu?” Mary Jane chirps into the phone.

“Hm? Mary Jane?” she hears Beomgyu’s voice filtered back through the line.

“Yes! I have a gift for you. Could I come by?” she asks, biting her lip in excitement. She couldn’t wait to show him how to smoke this. Now that he’s opted to smoke so he can get the relief faster, this would be a game changer. 

“I was already going to drop by later today to pick up my stash anyway. I’ll be there in a couple hours,” he responds. He can’t help but smile to himself when he hears her eagerness through the phone. She was rather excitable. 

“If you’re really sure you’re okay with walking all this way?” she asks with a grimace. 

“Mary Jane, it’s like three streets down. I’m not that bruised,” he chuckles. He has sounded so much happier lately, she thinks she could cry. Still, she laughs at his joke. 

“Alright, alright, I won’t nag then. Just please be careful!” she acquiesces, before hanging up the phone.

-

As Mary Jane waits for Peach Beomgyu to arrive, she tidies her little cottage. Once she’s done with that, she’s a bit restless. She has to force herself to sit down on the couch to stop pacing willy-nilly.

While she sinks into the sofa, her gaze settles on the two bongs on her coffee table- one purple, like her, the other peach, like Beomgyu. Beomgyu wasn't in pain when he was with Mary Jane. But maybe she could aim higher than that. It didn't take long for Mary Jane to feel a deep connection to this young man. In a lot of ways, he was just like her, and just as lonely. The moment they shared was intimate, and she couldn’t help but feel guilty at how much it meant to her. She wasn’t supposed to be this attached. She was basically just a glorified dealer who deluded herself into thinking she's a nurse. But still, she had held him while his life changed. 

At this point, Mary couldn't help but want to please him more. Seeing his smile had become an addiction. Watching him come to stop hating his body was amazing. But maybe seeing him merely comfortable wasn’t enough. She wanted him to enjoy his body as a source of pleasure rather than pain for once. It was a body she loved, because despite its flaws, it was his. And not only that, it was the reason they met in the first place. Maybe, if Beomgyu had been a perfect peach, they wouldn’t have ever crossed paths.

Mary Jane’s thoughts are interrupted when she hears a knock on the door. She quickly shakes the thoughts away, jumping to her feet to answer the door. There he was, looking far more radiant than ever. “Hey, Mary,” Beomgyu says with a smile, stepping inside. Mary Jane can’t help smiling back- it was like his grin was contagious, somehow.

“Hi, Beom! Come on in,” she says, stepping aside to allow him inside. It doesn’t take long for Beomgyu’s eyes to fall onto the bongs on display. 

“Oh, Mary Jane! You bought me this?” he asks, eyes lighting up as he takes hold of the peachy bong. He examines it as he sits on the sofa. 

Mary Jane feels some shyness come over her as she fidgets with her sleeve. “I, uh, actually made it,” she explains with a soft smile. 

At this, Peach Beomgyu looks at her incredulously. “You can do glass work?” he questions, baffled. 

Mary Jane can only nod as she awkwardly sits next to him. For some reason, being the center of attention right now made her squirm. It was completely irrational, but after the inappropriate thoughts she had just moments ago, she was scared he would somehow sense it. She was terrified he would find out. “Oh, yeah. It’s something I learned from the bakery twirling sugar. Glass is the same…” she trails off awkwardly, unable to meet his eyes. 

Beomgyu assumes she’s just become meek because he’s praising her work, and doesn’t think much else of it. “Well, why don’t we try them out?” he suggests with a smirk. 

Mary Jane blinks. She was certainly more than eager to no longer be sober. “Fuck yeah. I’ll show you how to use it,” she says. And with that, she plucks the peach bong from his hands, heading to the kitchen. She pours some fresh water into the chamber before returning with some weed already ground. 

“Alright, so it’s kind of like smoking a pipe, but bigger,” she chuckles, welcoming the distraction. She packs the bowl, before turning to give him a clear view of what she’s doing. “When you want to take a rip, you cover this hole-” she explains, gesturing to it with her fingers and demonstrating- “and then you put your lips on the mouth piece and inhale. It’s more intense than smoking a joint, though, so keep that in mind.”

Peach Beomgyu slowly nods as he watches. 

“Are you ready?” Mary Jane asks, tilting her head. Peach Beomgyu blushes, but nods, taking the bong into his hands. It really was pretty, he thought. He didn’t want to fuck this up. 

Mary Jane smiles as she helps him, guiding his hands to where they belong. “Alright, put your mouth on. You can breathe through your nose,” she chuckles. Once he does, she flicks her lighter on, lighting the bowl. Steamy smoke begins to billow within the bong, and Mary Jane can’t help but grin excitedly. “Okay, now you can suck it up into your mouth and inhale.”

Beomgyu does as instructed, only to hold it shortly before coughing out a laugh. “Damn, that is different,” he chuckles breathlessly. 

“You did it!” Mary Jane cheers, beaming. Beomgyu takes another rip, holding it much longer now before he exhales, the smoke billowing from his lips. 

“I did,” he drawls with a smirk, passing her the bong. Mary Jane simply blinks for a moment, having imagined using her own. Still, she can’t resist. She swiftly takes the bong herself, taking a long rip before relaxing into the couch with a sigh. “I take it you like these, huh?” Beomgyu murmurs with amusement. Mary Jane only nods. 

The two continue like that until the bowl is all gone, melting into puddles on the couch. She begins to repack the bowl, mostly moving out of muscle memory. In her daze, mind left to her own devices, Mary Jane can’t help glancing over at Beomgyu. She doesn’t notice when she freezes in place. Beomgyu really was incredibly handsome. The straight slope of his nose, the way his eyelashes feather his cheeks (especially when he could barely keep his eyes open like now), his soft lips. She doesn’t even realize she’s staring until he calls her out. 

“Hey, Mary Jane? Earth to Mary Jane?” he drawls with a smirk, snapping her out of it. Mary Jane hums, perking up at attention. “What are you thinking about? You got all zoned out staring at me.”

Mary Jane feels her cheeks burn, turning to light the bowl. “Snacks. I’m starting to get the munchies,” she jokes, lying with ease. “I like to eat, you know…” she trails off with a playful look, gazing down at her plump body before looking back at him. She then lifts the bong to her lips. 

“Nothing wrong with that. Bet if I had a better appetite I’d have a lot more energy,” he chuckles, but Mary Jane doesn’t miss the way his gaze lingers on her figure. She was definitely curvy, large chest and round belly obvious with her form-fitting top. Not that he minded. He loved how plush and squishy she was when she had held him the day they met.

“That’s fair enough. I think the energy might be wasted on a lazy stoner like me, though,” she retorts, smoke let loose with every word. Though there’s something between them now, some elephant in the room. Mary Jane doesn’t know if it’s just the purple haze, or wishful thinking, but the air feels different now that she's noticed his gaze. 

“Nothing is wasted on you,” Beomgyu says automatically. Mary Jane’s eyes widen. She quickly searches his face, only for him to blush when he feels her examine him. “What?” he murmurs, much more softly. 

“Nothing. That was just really sweet. And I don’t know… something just feels different…” she answers quietly. Mary Jane was a lot of things, but tight-lipped wasn’t really one of them. She hated silence, she hated walking on egg shells, she hated ignoring tension. 

“Different how?” Beomgyu asks, a hint of trepidation in his voice. 

Mary Jane can’t help but sigh, giving him an earnest look. “You really want to know?” she questions, peering back at him skeptically. 

“...Well, now I’m nervous. But yeah,” he answers quietly, honest. 

“I find you attractive,” she confesses bluntly, looking back at him with a simple gaze. Beomgyu almost chokes on a breath. For a short moment, he just looks back into her eyes. Maybe Mary was wrong- maybe his gaze didn’t linger. Maybe she imagined it. He doesn’t say anything at first, wordlessly taking his bong back for another rip. Mary Jane watches him in silence as his eyes flutter shut, little clouds of white slipping from his mouth. “...Beomgyu?” Mary Jane murmurs tentatively, tilting her head. 

“Hmmm?” Beomgyu hums lazily, eyes slowly blinking open. 

“I’m interested in you. I guess I didn’t really ask anything, but I thought you might comment,” she chuckles. Despite the blush on her cheeks and the way her heart fluttered, she still lets out a little joke as if she weren’t shaking in her boots. 

“Oh, yeah…” he murmurs, blinking slowly as he gives her a once over. “You’re pretty cute yourself.” Mary Jane can’t really read his expression. After burying all his time in books, he wasn’t very skilled with flirting. Still, she smiles at his compliment. 

“Yeah? Just cute?” she murmurs with a smirk, plucking the bong from his hands once more to have some more herself. Once she inhales, she sets the bong down. “How cute?” she teases, leaning in with that same smirk, smoke escaping her nose. 

Beomgyu gulps. She looked like a sexy dragon sizing him up. It only made him feel even smaller and more helpless under her gaze. “...uh, very?” he mumbles, almost inaudible. As Mary watches him fluster, she’s only emboldened more. The high alleviates some of her inhibitions, and she’s more playful than usual.

She takes a hit without ever taking her eyes off of him, before leaning closer. “Cute enough to kiss?” she purrs, lips hovering mere inches from his. The scent of the warm smoke brushing against his lips makes his breath hitch. It’s all Beomgyu can do to nod, cheeks nearly flushed scarlet. When his eyes drift down to her lips, snake bites glinting in the light, Mary Jane realizes he likes them. And with that, she captures his lips in hers, exhaling the smoke into his mouth. 

She pulls back with a satisfied smirk, reclining against the couch cushions as she keeps her gaze intent on him. He lets out a shaky breath, the smoke slowly slipping past his parted lips. He just looked stunned, as if nothing were going on in that head of his. Frozen in place, he watched her with doe eyes. “Maybe next time we get high, baby,” she begins, looking at him with darker eyes, “I can take care of you. Make you feel good when your body isn’t hurting, hun. But sober you will have to decide on that,” she asserts.

Beomgyu feels a shiver course through him, face burning more than the hot smoke in his lungs. Take care of him? His body? He almost couldn’t wrap his head around what she was suggesting. Still, she was pretty, and it was hard to say no. He quietly nods, peering back at her like a puppy. Shit, he was supposed to smart. This stupid fucking weed was making him dumb. “...okay. I’ll think about it.”

-

It’s not until the following day, when Beomgyu has sobered up, that Mary Jane hears from him. “Hello?”

“Mary Jane?” a voice calls from the other side. She’d recognize that voice anywhere at this point. 

“Yeah?” 

He’s quiet for a bit, trying to pick the right words. “I… I’m sober now,” ends up being what slips out.

Mary Jane chuckles. “I should hope so,” she jokes smoothly, ignoring the quickening pace of her heart. “What does sober Beomgyu have to say?”

“...I want to try it,” he murmurs shyly, almost a mumble. He doesn’t know why it’s so hard to get the words out, she can’t even see him. But her voice alone was enough to make him weak in the knees.

Mary Jane is silent for a moment. “Are you sure? I don’t want to take advantage of you, baby,” she clarifies, slipping the pet name out to sober him for the first time without thinking. 

It makes his heart do a flip. “Yeah, I’m sure. You introduced me to new things before… I trust you,” he says automatically, the words seeming to come back to him. Mary Jane can’t help but smirk to herself. Maybe he really did want this. 

“Alright, Beom. Bring an overnight bag and I can take care of you tonight,” she instructs, and Beomgyu instinctively nods. She can’t even see him; what is he doing? 

“Okay. Tonight?” he murmurs, voice still a bit shaky. Mary Jane can just imagine him fidgeting with his sleeves on the other side of the phone. 

“Tonight.”

-

Beomgyu fusses with his hair as he stands on her doorstep that evening, procrastinating knocking. He felt like this girl might eat him alive. She was ostracized from the village for a reason... but the way she made him feel, as if blending into a blissful harmony with the world around him in a way he never had before, was too tempting to resist. He never felt unsafe around Mary Jane, only nervous about the unknown.

Finally, he musters up the courage to knock.

"Beom!" Mary Jane beams, eyes lit up with excitement as she throws open the door. "You came."

"Mary Jane," he mirrors with a smile, "I did." He follows her into the cottage, putting his bag down by the couch.

"So, have you eaten dinner already, hun?" Mary drawls, already halfway to the kitchen.

"Ah! No, not yet..." he explains sheepishly, gently scratching the side of his neck.

Mary Jane smirks. "Well, lucky for you, I have prepared a fabulous meal," she declares playfully, mimicking a posh accent. It isn't even that funny on its own, but something about Mary's unapologetic corniness was endearing. Beomgyu can't help letting a chuckle slip.

"Well, I'd be honored," he responds softly, playing along. He follows Mary Jane to the kitchen, helping bring the dishes and silverware to the table. "You didn't cook weed in any of this, did you?"

Mary Jane laughs. "No, no, that's for dessert," she jokes. She carefully carries her pot of spaghetti to the table, oven mitts shielding her hands.

"More of your infamous brownies? I can't believe you ever gave one of those to Blueberry Kai," he teases, setting their places. Mary Jane scoffs, jaw dropping in a scandalized smile as she takes her spot opposite him.

"I didn't realize that if I don't wear gloves, everything I bake gets contaminated with weed! It wasn't on purpose!" she insists, placing her oven mitts aside.

"Likely story," Beomgyu murmurs with a smirk, eyeing her skeptically. "Are you sure you didn't just want to get someone else hooked so you can have stoner friends?"

Mary Jane's jaw drops into that baffled grin again, a sputtering sound of disbelief slipping past her lips. "You're a stoner too, now! I hope you remember that!" she retorts.

"Yeah, and it's all because you groomed me to be," he teases again, now just happy to push her buttons. Mary Jane just scoffs, rising from her seat to serve them both a good amount of spaghetti.

"Don't tempt me. If you keep treating me like a criminal, I might as well have the fun of enjoying the crime," she smirks, sitting back down with a satisfied grin and a glimmer in her eye. Suddenly, Beomgyu felt a shiver go down his spine.

"F-fine..." he stutters, a bit thrown by her flirty look. He quickly shovels some spaghetti in his mouth, eyes settled on his plate rather than her.

"You can dish it but you can't take it, huh?" Mary giggles, taking a bite of her own. Beomgyu looks back at her with a slight blush, shaking his head.

The two continue to eat their respective meals in silence for a bit, until Mary Jane remembers their earlier conversation. "Hey, Beomgyu," she whispers, quieter than before.

He hums, lifting his head to look back at her with clueless eyes.

"You said I could take care of you tonight. You know what I meant, right?" she asks, looking back at him plainly. "I meant sex."

Beomgyu sputters again, nearly choking on the bit of spaghetti still in his mouth. He's certain that the tips of his ears are glowing red now. He grimaces with his lips in a tight line, nodding as a strangled "mhm" sounds from his throat.

Mary Jane can't help but chuckle at his reaction. "Sorry, I just wanted to make sure... You were high when I suggested it," she jokes, shrugging. She takes her plate then, standing and carrying it off to the sink.

Beomgyu scarfs down the rest of his meal before following her meekly, trying his best to ignore his burning face. "Thank you," Mary Jane smiles, carefully taking his plate to wash off alongside her own.

"I should thank you... You're the one who made me dinner," he murmurs softly, reaching over to try and take the sponge. Mary Jane tsks, pushing him aside with her shoulder.

"You're a guest. It's two plates and a pot, I can manage," she reassures with a chuckle, before gesturing with a flick of her head. "Go ahead and have a brownie. Treat time," she smirks.

Peach Beomgyu certainly won't turn down an intoxicating treat. He takes one of the brownies sitting on the counter, letting out a happy sigh after his first bite. It doesn't take long for Mary Jane to finish up the dishes and have one as well.

-

"Let's go get ready for bed," she suggests, giving Beomgyu a questioning look to which he simply nods.

Peach Beomgyu grabs his cute duffel bag, peachy-pink like everything else he owns, and follows Mary Jane down the hall to her room. "Ah, where's your bathroom..?" Beomgyu asks meekly.

"Right here, first door on the left," she explains with a soft smile. Beomgyu nods gratefully, slipping inside with his things.

Mary Jane makes it the rest of the way to her room, butterflies settling in her chest. Beomgyu brought his bag into the bathroom with him, so he must be getting ready. He'd probably be gone long enough for her to get changed into pajamas of her own.

Mary Jane grabs a sheer purple nightie, lacy trim on the edges. In reality, she never wears cute shit like this to bed- who did? But Beomgyu didn't have to know that she normally slept in a huge tee and ratty old sweatpants. Those weren't so sexy. Tonight, she'd look at least a little alluring. Hopefully.

Meanwhile, Beomgyu is having his own wardrobe doubts in the bathroom. He was in completely regular pajamas- a white tank top and plaid pajama bottoms. But still, he couldn't help his shyness. Beomgyu nearly always wore long sleeves and covered as much skin as possible for fear of his bruises attracting unwanted attention. As he looks himself in the mirror, so many conflicting feelings come bubbling to the surface of his gut. He gulps, steeling himself to exit the bathroom.

When Mary Jane hears the door open, she looks up with excitement, only to be met with the vulnerable look in Beomgyu's eyes. She can hardly take it- it's like her heart is clenched in his fist. She immediately coos. "Oh, Beom, come here," she whispers, perched atop her bed.

Beomgyu blushes as he sees her body veiled in lilac, plump and round. He nods, hesitating for a moment before closing the distance to join her. It doesn't take any time at all for Mary Jane to open her arms to him, pulling him up against her.

Beomgyu lets out a shaky breath. "Sorry, I just... don't let people see the bruises much," he confesses in a whisper. Mary Jane nods, gently petting his hair as he settles in her hold.

"You're very handsome. I'm pretty lucky to have the viewing pleasure," she reassures in a playful whisper. Beomgyu can't help but chuckle at her flirty words.

"Leave it to you to hit on me at such a moment," he snarks. Still, it's a bit hard to keep his head straight at this point. The brownie is starting to kick in, blood abuzz. He instinctively nuzzles his face into her shoulder as he leans against her, the sensation of her silky skin against his fuzzy cheek pleasant. Her large breasts are nearly an inch from his face, and he's trying really hard to ignore that fact and not freak out.

Mary Jane giggles. "Maybe if you saw yourself the way I do, you'd understand how hard it is to keep my mouth shut," she whispers, gently stroking his back. She smiles down at him, his pretty brown eyes magnetic. "But I suppose I could show you..?" she suggests softly.

Peach Beomgyu blushes at her cheeky suggestion, gulping once more. He looks up at her with a curious gaze, head still resting atop her shoulder. "Show me?" he repeats under his breath.

Mary Jane nods, smiling sweetly despite the darker spark in her eyes. "Did the edible hit, baby? How do you feel?" she whispers, glancing down to his bruised arm. She gently caresses the spot, carefully gauging his reaction. "Does it hurt?"

Beomgyu shakes his head, sucking in a shaky breath. "No... not sore," he whispers.

That's all Mary Jane needs to hear, swiftly lowering him onto his back so he's reclining atop her pillows. Beomgyu's breath hitches as he's nearly manhandled by the smaller woman, though she's probably twice his weight. Maybe she's really just shorter.

Mary Jane giggles when as she notices his stunned reaction. "Relax, baby. Just gonna make you feel good," she murmurs comfortingly, moving in to lay beside him. Beomgyu gulps again, but nods.

Once he's relaxed a bit more, Mary Jane leans in to begin trailing kisses down his jaw. She hums, the soft scent of peaches surrounding her as she drags her lips over his skin. "You're much sweeter than me," she whispers, lips curled up in a grin as her path leads her to his sensitive neck. His peach fuzz stands at end, a shaky gasp escaping his throat.

"Mary Jane..." he whispers, hands instinctively lifting up to hold onto her by his side. She doesn't let up, continuing to trail gentle, loving kisses along his flesh.

She can't help but giggle at his half-hearted protest. "What? It's true! Peaches smell better than pot," she teases, kissing her way down to the juncture of his neck and shoulder.

Beomgyu can only groan, too weak to protest in his dazed state. The combination of the high dizzying his mind and the overwhelming sensations of her playing with some of the most sensitive spots on his body is simply too much to bear.

Mary Jane hums in response, making her way down his shoulder. Beomgyu is hardly paying attention to what she's doing, just along for the ride. Mary Jane coats him in kisses, making her way from one bruise to the next, gently worshiping his marred skin. "You're gorgeous," she whispers sweet praises, taking her time to appreciate every piece of him. The high heightens every sensation, each touch all Beomgyu can comprehend in his daze.

By the time she reaches his hand, trailing kisses over his knuckles one by one, Beomgyu can't help but whimper. No one has ever spoiled him with this much attention before.

Mary Jane smiles, peering back at his face with loving eyes. "What is it, baby? Am I going too slow?" she whispers, unabashed affection in her eyes. It makes his heart skip a beat as he swallows.

"N-no... I just... I didn't think you'd be so sweet..." he mumbles, shyly averting his gaze. Mary Jane was normally so playful and cheeky, and here she was doting on him like he were the most precious man in the world.

Mary Jane can't help but laugh at his words. "I can be mean?" she whispers with a teasing look, to which Beomgyu's eyes widen. He frantically shakes his head. "That's what I thought," she finishes with a smirk.

Once she finishes pressing little pecks to the tips of each of his fingers, she swiftly moves to straddle his lap. "No pain?" she whispers, to which he nods. She carefully rests his arm on the bed once more before lifting its opposite, starting from the tips of his fingers to kiss her way back up his body. Beomgyu shivers as her soft lips trace his body, a shaky breath escaping him. Mary Jane hums with pleasure while mapping his body.

Eventually Mary Jane has made it all the way back to his neck. She presses her lips beneath his jaw, caressing his skin lovingly. Beomgyu sighs, eyes fluttering open to give her a pleading look. Mary Jane nearly freezes when she sees it. Still, she's determined to do this properly. She kisses her way along his jaw and cheek to complete her path before finally giving him what he wants.

Mary Jane captures his lips in hers, the sudden action after all the anticipation stunning Beomgyu for a moment. It takes a second for his dazed mind to catch up to whats happening, to which he finally returns her kiss, arms slipping up around her waist. Mary Jane can't help but sigh against his lips, relaxing into his arms.

Beomgyu feels his stomach do a little flip when she hears her breathy sigh. The sound was so intimate, soft, vulnerable. He instinctively kisses her with greater need, and it doesn't take long for Mary Jane to catch on and part her lips. "Damn, baby," she purrs between kisses, softly licking at his bottom lip. Beomgyu can only groan in response.

The sound makes Mary Jane's eyes darken as a possessive sort of hunger flares up inside her. Fuck, his voice sounded hot. Once allowed entrance to his mouth, her tongue curls around his. She's greedy for dominance, and Beomgyu doesn't seem to care, just soaking it all up. At the feeling of her tongue dancing with his, Beomgyu lets out moan, slowly losing his inhibitions as the weed and lust cloud his mind.

If Mary Jane wasn't wet before, she certainly was now. She groans, quickly breaking their kiss to hastily undress him. "Let me take this off?" she whispers, breath heavy as she pulls back to grab the hem of his tank top. Beomgyu gulps, simply nodding with red cheeks and parted lips.

Mary Jane wants to rip the damned garment off, but she is too smart for that. She couldn't hurt Beomgyu. So she instead carefully removes it from his body, helping him shimmy out of it with her jaw set. It was taking all her self control not to pounce on him completely, and she wondered if he knew it. Once he's left bare, tender chest and bruised side visible, Mary Jane can't help but curse. "Fuck, you're so beautiful," she sighs, gently kissing each newly exposed bruise.

Beomgyu blushes as he opens his mouth to speak, only to gasp when she licks a stripe up his chest. It was much lewder than the delicate kisses of before, and he shudders. "Oh, Jesus, Mary Jane," he pleads softly, holding her a bit tighter. Mary Jane feels his cock twitch beneath her, and it only spurs her on further.

At this point, Mary Jane's mind is blank, simply indulging in her impulses. She licks and sucks at his skin, leaving little hickeys to bloom across his chest. He can feel the vibrations of her hums through his skin. At a particularly harsh suck, Beomgyu whimpers, hips stuttering beneath her. "Fuck, baby, you taste like heaven," she whispers against his skin, finally climbing off his lap to begin her descent.

It takes all of Beomgyu's self control not to squirm as her searing hot lips trail down his abdomen. At this point he's perpetually breathless, panting beneath her touch. "Mary Jane, please..." he begs softly, the lack of friction where he needs it beginning to ache.

"Relax baby, I've got you," she whispers, finally making her way down to his waistband. "May I?" she asks, meeting his eyes. When he nods clumsily, she helps him kick his pants and boxers right off, hard dick slapping his stomach. Her mouth is already watering at the sight.

"Fuck, look at this cute cock," she purrs, carefully taking him into her hand. Pretty pink tip and swollen with need, she wants to taste him right there. So she does.

Beomgyu lets out a soft cry when Mary Jane licks his tip, quickly grabbing onto her hair. "Mary!"

Mary Jane can't help but giggle as he squirms beneath her. "Sorry, baby, you taste like peaches and cream," she whispers, pressing an affectionate peck to his tip before releasing him. She moves to straddle his hips once more, hovering over his lap. "Don't want you to hate this wonderful body of yours anymore," she sighs, leaning in to press a kiss to his forehead.

Beomgyu doesn't know whether to laugh or cry when she ambushes him with such sweet words after saying something so filthy. His hands settle on her hips as he peers back up at her with blown-out eyes. "I... I won't..." he whispers, gulping.

Mary Jane smiles, nodding. After a moment, she lifts herself up a bit, slipping off her panties. Beomgyu gulps. "Mary Jane... you're sure?" he whispers, searching her eyes. Mary Jane's heart immediately melts. She was the one taking him, and he was still trying to make sure.

"More certain than I've ever been," she whispers, leaning in to steal a quick kiss. "Want to milk that pretty cock of yours, baby," she purrs against his lips, explicit words in contrast of her sickeningly sweet tone. All Beomgyu can do is gulp and whimper while he feels his cock throb. "Are you sure?"

Peach Beomgyu nods, face flushed scarlet. "Yeah," he whispers. "Mary Jane, I want you," he confesses for the first time.

Mary Jane can't help but smirk, his words going straight to her ego. She reaches down to align him with her dripping entrance, eyes locked with his. "Fill me up, baby," she whispers with a lopsided grin, before finally taking him in. Her walls are snug around him as she bottoms out, lower lip drawn between her teeth. Beomgyu lets out a deep moan, head fallen back against the pillows as he squeezes his eyes shut. It takes all his self control not to buck his hips. "Fuck, you fill me up so good."

"Please move," Beomgyu whimpers, fingers digging into her hips as he struggles to stay still. Mary Jane can't help but giggle as she looks down at him. She had this effect on him? It was too good to be true. Experimentally, she softly rolls her hips, gaze intent on his face as she toys with him. Beomgyu's hips stutter in response as he whimpers, hazy eyes slowly fluttering open to give her a pleading look.

Those puppy eyes were her weakness.

"Don't worry baby, I've got you," she coos, resting her hands on his shoulders to brace herself before she rides him. Her purple nightie sways with her movements, though the sheer material leaves nothing to the imagination. Her large breasts bounce as she finds a rhythm, walls fluttering around him. At this point, he's crossfaded- high and pussy-drunk.

Wanton, unrestricted moans fill the cottage as the two chase their high. Beomgyu gradually begins to meet her movements, hitting Mary Jane at a new angle that makes her see stars. "Fuck!" she gasps, walls clamping down around him. The bed creaks with each move of their joined hips.

"Mary Jane, I'm-" Beomgyu starts, but she doesn't need to hear a syllable more before she interrupts.

"Cum, baby, fill me up," she commands, voice stern and commanding despite being strained from breathlessness. Beomgyu whimpers, nearly there.

Determined to take him over the threshold, Mary Jane leans in, capturing his lips in hers. She sucks on his tongue, swallowing his moans as their movements reach a crescendo. It doesn't take more than a couple more thrusts for Beomgyu to burst.

A flood of warmth fills Mary Jane and she shudders, the sensation of his release bringing her ecstasy. But even more than that, it's the whine that escapes Beomgyu with his release that breaks her. With a deep guttural moan from within her chest Mary Jane reaches her peak, walls pulsing and fluttering around Beomgyu's sensitive cock. The two ride out their overlapping highs, hips clumsy. Their foreheads fall together as they part for air, equally panting.

Waves of euphoria pass through them both before the exertion catches up to them. Mary Jane slumps atop Beomgyu with a shudder, slowly catching her breath.

"Holy shit," Beomgyu whispers. Mary Jane opens her eyes just to see his beautiful post-orgasm glow, fucked-out expression on his face. She can't help but grin.

"You look so fucking delicious," she whispers, voice a little hoarse from their previous activity.

Beomgyu would blush at the praise if he weren't already beet red. "So do you," he whispers.

Mary Jane slowly sits up again, hissing as she climbs off his lap. The emptiness is immediately upsetting, but she can't keep him forever. Slowly she slips her hand beneath her dress, fingers swiping up some of his peachy release. She licks her fingers clean with a hum of satisfaction, relaxing atop his lap.

Beomgyu groans at the sight. She had no shame.

-

authors note: idk how did i do guys? should i never write smut again? did you jerk off to this? did any of my shitty jokes land? happy new year. if i find any mistakes or typos i might edit the post. gonna go get high now

[ijbolz]

giver piwon... and what exactly they love to give

piwon hyung line x fem!reader 🌨️ some smut headcanons (mentions of piv, oral sex, fingering, etc) a bit self indulgent🫣

a/n: pls forgive me guys if my writing may seem a bit rough right now because im trying to ease back into it after being busy with finals a few weeks ago.! also this is my second time trying to make this post bc tumblr decided to be shitty and delete my draft🥲 oh well...

KEEHO ┊ what use would it be if he's spending hours sweating it off at the gym and he's not gonna use his arms to keep you in place. trembling underneath his hold with your bottom lip tucked in between your teeth. especially if you love a man that makes it clear that he's in charge, asserts control over you if his words aren't enough to do so, until he has no choice but to resort to manhandling you instead. unless that's what you're really aiming for, he's not that difficult to talk to.

have you seen kyo's hands? he'll play dumb and pretend he doesn't notice the way your eyes are almost always locked onto his veiny hands whenever you hang out or... accompany him while he works out. sometimes it becomes a surprise whenever a lil work out session doesn't end up with the both of you fucking.

oh… but when the two of you can't help the heated situation, then kyo's one to greatly enjoy catching you off guard. fucking you with his fingers too good until you fall apart—the weight of your frame leaning against his own as you get lost within the bliss from the repeated pump of his digits. and when you thought you couldn’t take it anymore than what he’s giving you, he’s quick to restlessly plow his fingers slick with your wetness while he watches you writhe from his unforgiving thrusts.

his other hand unabashedly snakes from the messy sheets and against the swell of your breasts before stuffing two digits inside your mouth, earning a high sob from your throat. fuck… if only you knew just how much effect you had on him, especially with the spit dribbling by the corner of your lips until kyo can’t help but urge himself impossibly closer to your figure.

“suck,” the warmth of his breath sends a shiver down your spine, doing so while his tongue traces the shell of your ear, the wet muscle a contrast to the trail of saliva hitting the cold air. kyo would teasingly try to mimic the way you’re swirling your tongue around his fingers, pressing his lips flush against your neck before sucking just the way you like it.

THEO ┊ if you want to have giver!theo then… work for it.

would all start from the moment he accidentally stumbles upon your little toy stash the time he’d be looking for something else in your shared apartment. i just know the gears in his head would be turning once he’d laid his eyes on your filthy little secret, silently pacing back into the living room where you’re situated on the couch, unknowing of what’s to come before you.

“so did you find what you were… looking for…” your words trail off the second your eyes met the object taeyang’s clutching between his fingers, an object far too familiar for you and yet you wanted to keep it a secret from him for now, heart hammering in your chest.

…because you know just how much your boyfriend can be a menace, especially when he gets you reduced to an adorable mess from his control. your muddied thoughts aren’t helping the situation.

and that’s how he’s gotten everything into a quick blur, your head thrown back on the surface of the couch, pillows forgotten on the floor and everything, while the weight of his hand keeps your trembling legs spread. your vision’s turning hazy from the shuddering pleasure of your vibrator taeyang repeatedly buries into your wet cunt.

“should’ve hid them better then,”

he mumbles, staring back into your beady little eyes like he knows the exact words swimming inside your mind. and what if you wanted him to discover them anyway?

“keeping a stash of toys and using them by yourself seems like no fun, you know you could always ask for my help, right?” he’s mean, asking in a tantalizing tone while your mouth’s stuffed with your panties the whole time.

and when he does really focus on your pleasure, it’ll take a while before he decides to give it his all, settling on using your toys with the promise of only sinking his cock into your hole once he’s satisfied with the amount of orgasms he’s able to get out of you first.

JIUNG ┊ if he's got something to want to endlessly give you, then it would be pleasure. which comes in different forms of course, but in this case, you won’t even have to beg him for it, he’d probably be the one to plead you to use his cock all you want to get yourself off.

he knows how much it drives you insane, so naturally he knows how to work it.

always talks about how he needs to have you in positions where he can plow you into the mattress better, so i don’t think it would be that much of a shocker if one of his favorite positions during sex would be to fold you into a mating press.

especially once he’s gotten his plan to put a ring on your finger out of the way, jiung’s quick to spoil you like never before. not like he's not already treating you delicately to the point he doesn't even want your foot to touch the bare ground… if that’s even possible.

anyway, he’s always one to dream about a future with you, wanting to settle down and move into your own home where he could spend more happy memories with you and of course, fuck you good undisturbed. enough of quickies at the dorm or whatever, where there’s a high risk of getting caught by other people.

he’s one to value his privacy especially when he’s the type to take his time especially during the act.

only and if only he could put into words just how much he loves staring down at you when you're blissed out of your mind. he jogs back to his memories of your disheveled frame tearfully moaning out underneath him while he struggles to keep steady thrusts with the plush walls of your cunt engulfing his length, pulsing around him harshly whenever he hits that one spot.

"just like that..." he'd hear you whimper out with trembling lips, sneaking in a few gropes on your ass with a gentle kiss on your forehead. fuck, he’d wanna keep at it forever. especially when he gets to witness your gasp for air every time he sinks his cock back into your needy hole. and with the sight of his warm cum seeping down the sheets once he pulls out from the sticky mess you’d made, he’s long gone from being sane.

INTAK ┊ in usual settings, intak loves to make you feel like such a princess to the point all of your friends can’t help but gush about how lucky you are. intak's never ashamed to admit you got him wrapped around your finger, pressing soft kisses on the crook of your neck while he tells you how he’s literally brought to this world just to serve you.

"and i want to make it known to you just how much i want to pleasure you all i can," he says to you with that familiar croak in his voice, and it may sound cheesy in other scenarios. yet it sends a different surge through your core when your boyfriend's got you meekly spread out for him, sopping cunt drooling perfectly while his warm breath hovers on your trembling skin.

his doe eyes are a sight for comfort, not like it ever leaves you, never ashamed to run his gaze from your flushed face over your bare figure. clothes long gone to reveal your chest heaving up and down, until his gaze locks back onto your pulsing cunt, clit swollen and needy just for him.

if only you could read his mind, know just how starved he feels for your essence drooling from your hole, glistening just to heighten the building desire from his throbbing cock even though he's eaten you out far too much that he can count.

intak's a very passionate lover. he'd let you know so obviously from the way he laps up like you as if it's the first time he's going down on his girl, like you'd purposely let him hung dry for days. when in fact he'd beg to eat you out almost everyday if you could, finding it difficult to deny especially when he'd stare at you with his dopey little grin you came to adore.

[ivestas]

Thank you for writing my request, I loved it!! I have another idea but it's a deeper subject so I understand not everyone is comfortable with writing about it. Could you write about a younger reader and the team see self harm wounds and scars while they were injured or while they were changing? (Something along those lines) and what they would do/ react? Xx

what is most precious to you?

Summary: The 141 discover a part of you that you’d wanted to bury.

Tags: TW s/elf harm scars + sui/cide and talk of it, please read carefully/don't read if this topic triggers you, platonic!141 x medic!fem!reader, reader implied to be mentally ill, younger!reader, descriptions of blood and injury, canon typical violence, soap + ghost focused, unedited

Word count: 1.5k

Notes: im glad u enjoyed the previous req anon! i hope I'm able to do this req justice too 🫡

You’d been a part of the 141 long enough for the others to know and trust you.

An esteemed medic that knew medicine and all things fixing like the back of her hand, despite your age—it was a natural skill, it seemed. Your hands were always so damn fast with a gauze—hell, even a dirty rag you’d make use of in an instant. 

You were just good. Reliable. Consistent. Seemingly just a normal young lady whose only eccentricity was the job she chose to be: a medic for a merc group. 

Soap often liked to joke about that normalcy that clung onto you. 

“Bet when you’re on leave you work a 9 to 5 and sleep right at 8. I’m right, aren’t I?”

You snorted. “No, I’d sleep at 9.” 

“Ohhhhh, daring! Don’t be too crazy! Ya might just lose a leg!” 

Even Ghost would sometimes jump in, adding his own joke occasionally. 

“Should I get you a planner for your birthday? A nice, minimalist one with neutral stickers to match.”

You’d scoff and jab back, whether it be at Ghost’s mask or Soap’s current and past hair-styles.

But they never gave you a tough time about it—they were glad that one of them was able to blend back to civvy life with ease. 

Price even said it was his favorite trait—”sometimes, you need the practicality and mindset of a normal lady to get shit done.”

“Thanks?” 

The guys all had a similar image of what your childhood was like: middle-class, parents all stiff-like and old-timey, your favorite hobbies probably were things like football or reading, things like that. 

However, that image shattered during a post-mission intermission. 

Things went wrong, completely askew—the enemies were clearly prepared for the attack, because landmines were everywhere and the area was crawling with hostiles.

It was a resounding loss—many casualties, wounded, etc. 

You could hardly keep up, trying to patch up as many as possible, even when the sky rained of bullets and the air tasted thickly of gunpowder and death. It was like a place between purgatory and hell, a constant flow of shouts, screams, explosions.

It was too late for you to noticed a bullet grazed your arm; it was deep enough to be visible, but luckily it wasn’t aimed low enough for it to shoot into your arm. 

You had ignored the wound—in your mind, it only made sense to focus on the soldiers who were fighting for their lives and riddled with bullet wounds. 

So you just did that: focus on them. 

But, due to the constant movement and strain, the graze only worsened, almost tearing. The adrenaline numbed the pain, but you knew it was gonna hurt like a bitch soon enough. 

Luckily though, Ghost shouted in your ear through the comms. 

“Bravo-1, retreat!—fuckin’ hell—everyone, retreat!”  

You did just that—retreat. 

Huffing and puffing, you were quick to run to the distant chopper you recognized as the 141′s. A haze of sand was the only saving grace as it covered you from the enemies direct line of sight.

Soap pulled you into the helicopter with a quick grab of your wrist, completely unaware of the graze that arm sustained. You let out a sharp hiss of pain, feeling the skin tear just a little more. 

The entrance of the helicopter shut, and with both of you heaving, the plane finally shot back into the air, rocking back and forth the slightest bit. The sound of bullets slowly melted away into harsh whirring and mechanical buzz. 

You took a moment to collect yourself, inhaling sharply before you got up, arm still bleeding. 

But, strangely, you felt it drip along your arm and into your hand, running along your finger—ah, it should’ve been obvious, the sleeve of your wounded arm had completely torn. 

You lifted the arm, examining the wound. 

Scars of varying sizes, textures, and freshness—some having strange bubbly dots, others consisting of messy lines. Some of the fresher scars had torn a little, causing thin lines or red to rise. 

Your blood ran cold. You glance up, hoping—praying—that Soap didn’t see, or even understand the implications. 

But you could see he was staring, the cogs in his mind slowly snapping together. 

You put your arm away to your side, hiding it from his view. 

“Lass—“

“I need a medkit. We have one on the plane?” 

You loathed the look of sadness, of pity that shone in his eyes, pulled at the muscles of his face. 

Don’t. Stop.

I’m not weak. Don’t—I’m not weak! 

A chorus of words, feelings, of palpable dark was what filled your mind now. Insecurity, self-hatred, all of it—you’d been working on it, trying to regulate, to reason with the miasma that had taken ahold of your consciousness.

But, fuck, you’ve revealed it to Soap of all people—he felt bad, didn’t he? Disgusted? Worried? He was gonna tell Price, wasn’t he? That your unfit for the 141, that—

A hand rested on the top of your shoulder.

“Can I patch you up?” Soap asked softly. 

You grit your teeth. Moving away from his hand, you shook your head, glaring at the floor. A small splatter of blood was there. “I can fix it myself.” 

You expected—wanted—him to berate you. 

But he didn’t. He was kind. 

“Sure, kid. I’ll just get ya the med kit—stay put.” 

Another wave of shame rocked you. You sat on one of the small seats connected to the walls of the heli, rubbing away the small bits of dried blood. 

Consumed by your thoughts, you didn’t hear Soap murmuring to Ghost. 

“The kid—she, ah...” He ran a finger along his wrist. “Catch my drift?” 

“Cutting herself?” Ghost said bluntly. 

“Sometimes I wish you had a little more tact, L.T.” 

Ghost ignored him. “They fresh or old?”

“Both,” he sighed, grabbing a med kit from one of the plane’s various compartments. “What’re we supposed to do? Don’t wanna scare off the kid, but don’t wanna leave her on her own devices hacking away at ‘erself!” 

Ghost grabbed the kit from his hands. “I’ll handle this. You sit down—go near the Captain. Try to leave us some privacy.” 

Hesitantly, Soap nodded. “Work your magic, sir.” 

Ghost made his way to the other end of the helicopter where you were. You were hunched over your wound, a deep frown on your face. It’s uncharacteristic, but he knew it was a part of yourself you’d prefer to be shrouded in dark. Suffering wasn’t a nice look, was it?

But it was human. Denying your own right to feel it—it made Ghost frown too.

He sat beside you, kit in his hand. You had finally looked up then, alarmed. 

“Gimme your arm, kid.” 

You opened your mouth.

“Not leavin’ till I patch your arm up, so don’t even try.” 

Shamefully, you lifted your arm slowly. 

He took it with gentle but firm hands, a thumb running along a faint scar. 

Ghost opened the kit haphazardly with another hand. 

“When I was your age—maybe a little younger—couldn’t find much meaning in everything.”

He lifted his hand from your arm and grabbed alcohol and a small cotton rag. Dampening the rag with alcohol, he drew it to your arm, rubbing away the excess blood and cleaning the wounds. You didn’t make any noise, only breathing raggedly. 

“The suffering was pointless, in my eyes; thought, ‘this isn’t bloody fair’. Born in a shitty house with a shitter father, food hardly ever on the table, my mind deteriorating, and the world cast in deep gray.”

You nodded. 

Ghost grabbed a bandage gauze, unravelling it and wrapping it gently around the graze and the scars. It was calming, watching him work away, even if the wrapping was a little clumsy. 

“The harsh reality came a little while later, and it’s that people like me—us—we gotta work hard for shit to change. That this weight forced upon us, it’s only we that can shed it off. It’s still not fair—frankly, suicide is easier. Thought of doing it for the longest time... But...” 

He shook his head. “In my eyes, it’s a coward’s way out. We should never die by our own hands—there’s always something to live for.”

“What are you living for?” 

“Mmmm.... For tomorrow’s pint.” 

You laughed. 

He grabbed a safety pin and pinned the end of the gauze. “...now, I know it’s ‘silly’ to say, but you know we’re here for you?—the 141′s got your back, kid—how about this, let’s make a deal.”

“Yeah?” 

“You ever have the urge to cut yer arm, you come straight to me, or the others. They’ll listen. They care.”

They care.  

It’s weird, but hearing the words said out loud, it hit you. 

They really care. 

You took in a shaky breath. “Thank... you.” 

“It’s no problem at all, kid. Stay strong.”

AO3

Masterlist

Requests are open

[feistyvirghoe]

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ❝ 𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻𝑺 𝑯𝑶𝑳𝑫𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑩𝑨𝑪𝑲 𝑭𝑹𝑶𝑴 𝑻𝑨𝑲𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑨𝑪𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵?? ❞ ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧

*this can be taking action anywhere in your life, whatever has been on your mind that you’re contemplating, something you’re scared of doing because it brings up feelings of fear and anxiety, don’t engage if you’re not prepared for whatever comes out…just want to help you guys out if you’re nervous to do something you know you want to do, that’ll benefit you in the end :) <333*

pick a card disclaimers ೃ💓⁀➷

pick a pile u feel most called to, the one u cannot look away from, the one that is pulsing, go with your gut, always trust yourself, and if u feel called to more that’s cool baby boo! there’s more for u!

these are general and for a vast amount of ppl, don’t get ur undies all twisted up bc it’s not resonating, it’s normal and it’s fine, this just wasn’t for u! <3

these are extremely general collective timeless readings and they’re meant for entertainment purposes, please don’t take things so seriously and also realize my readings are for people above 18!

╰┈➤ ❝ [ i feel like this thing you are holding off on is something that would make you really happy. Emotionally satisfied, this is like a gift from the universe, this thing has you in your head obviously but i feel like there needs to be moderation with how you’ll go about this, when you decide to take action. I feel like you’re more of a logical thinker than having that natural blind faith you know, second guessing the outcome of what’s going to happen with this certain thing you’re taking a pause on. It’s your mind and i feel like that may be the whole theme for this entire PAC. I dont know why im just picking up like you not feeling like you’re good enough for this. And you are good enough, it’s the worry. That anxiety and fear surrounding this endeavor, passion project, goal etc. whatever it is, it looks so good to you from the eye and your can see that it’d make you fucking happy and feeling so fulfilled and enjoying the pleasure you get from starting this thing. Be more patient with yourself and your abilities, your progress. I just feel like you’re holding onto this idea that it wont come or if it did come or happen the way you expected or similar to what your expectation was that it’d be short lived joy. But im seeing that this is going to make you so happy. I feel like you need to balance out your feelings towards this and what i mean is taking some time to re-evaluate if this fear is coming from a real place of concern of if its just your ego telling you lies about this. Making up false scenarios, and i know that feeling because you can really get trapped in your own mind by thinking of what could really go wrong. I feel like you know what to do, but i want you guys to take some time to really take a step back from your mind and all of these overwhelming thoughts and look at the situation with more love and compassion for it but for yourself as well, dont belittle your qualities and what makes you stand out, i just feel like their needs to be more patience and to help yourself release what’s truly bothering you in your head, because the overthinking and fear is making you scared or just really hesitant to even go after this. You got this, you fucking got it and you need to see that for yourself as well, believing in what you can do, what you can also add to the plate. ] ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ [off the bat immediately im just scared, like a slight panic with you guys. I hope you all are okay, im trying to figure out why the hell you so scared to do this, because from what im seeing, this is going to boost you financially and probably even have you feeling stable and secure monetarily. And do not even say that you need people to do this, because i can also see that you have it all on your own, very self-sufficient, feeling fucking at ease once you have gotten the hang of it, its like you get past the initiation process and you’re finally adapting to the environment. Putting in that hard work and not giving up on yourself and what you can do. I feel like you’re naturally skilled in this, but here’s the thing. I feel like something struck you, it could be a relationship and not just romantic either. But this bs hit you hard and im sorry you guys. I feel like you gave your all to something and you were so excited about t6his thing but then some weird unhinged shit happened that just tore into your fucking soul. I feel like you’re feeling like “why even bother?” “why even try?” Im just getting this heaviness on your heart dude, it’s like you only got one more to give and it’s your last before you break and crumble. This journey is not easy and i know , you’re tired, worn out, feeling burnt out but it’s so worth it dude! Not you being burnt out and feeling fucking exhausted, but what you want to do is worth it my love. What would help you guys more is if you just take the time out of your day to be more kinder to yourself, more self-love, no self-hatred. You went through the weirdness, left feeling defeated and just low on gas but i can see you just picking yourself back up little by little which is okay because you dont need to rush yourself, especially comparing it to others, they dont know you and you dont know them, i feel like you may take it a little personal which is your right you know, but your have been growing and moving forward with your life, not staying stuck in this downward spiral of intense sadness, even depression. I’m feeling like you’re crossing over into new territory so it’s new and scary for you to tackle. But once you go ahead and consistently do it and keep up with this, mannnnnn, you dont even know and i see, the not knowing getting to y’all. I understand the wanting to know and the curiosity but let yourself be surprised along the way, nothing is really set in stone but doing this would just make you feel like a fucking boss! I’m wishing you lots of love and luck and blessings, i love you. ] ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ [ okay so you guys, i feel like it’s other people around you, listening to the people around you, are they trying to influence you and tell you what to do? I dont want to come off as harsh with you guys but i feel like this may also be about you guys not taking this thing so serious. It’s like you are distracted, being led another way, its like you know exactly where you want to go but you seem to have something that’s close to you, whether it be friends or vices or even just a bad habit, this thing is causing you to feel temporarily fulfilled for a short time. When this thing seems more long-term. I mean your have the fucking power to do so, this optimism. I feel like you guys may be looking at this as like “I’ll get it done later” “it can wait another day, it’s okay.” But I didn’t really feel so in the beginning, idk im just getting that there’s some sort of weird influence making you a little ablivious to the realness of this thing. I mean it doesn’t have to be so serious, this is differing for everyone. Did you complete this already with passing colors and it brought a good amount of abundance but now you’re like not taking this as serious as you did before. Im feeling like you know already, like deep down you’re aware of your gifts and what you can do, is it the ego? I feel like you guys are like “it doesn’t matter that much because i can do what the fuck i want” your pile seems more carefree than the others, like everything has already worked out so why do you need to do more? But i mean if you’re reading this it seems like in the back of your head you want to do this. I just feel liken its outside influences, partying a lot, destructive behavior a little, talking too much with friends, well gossiping but place it where it fits. I feel like you guys may be “stuck” in your comfort zone, the area where you’re feeling so content and not wanting to leave it behind, i mean you dont have to leave anything behind, but taking a step outside of your home, your personal space, even that “comforting” mindset which we know it can keep us stuck, thinking that you wouldn’t really have to be responsible with this, because it’ll never really leave you if its for you and maybe that’s another thing, taking the spiritual terms a little too deep, like baby, we’re going to have to push ourselves to get out of this limiting thinking, you’re allowed to have more for yourself, it’s okay to want more for yourself. Especially if t5his thing is making you happy and feeling fucking complete inside. But its really giving off you ended a cycle and not to say cycles are bad, but when we get used to its for so long it can be really comforting and “peaceful” to stay there, but you know you’re capable and can do wayyyy more than you’re anticipating. I feel like some advice for you is to assess this carefully and really weigh out the options, weighing the scale. Doing what you feel is really right for you. Doing this is feel will make you feel a bit more confident in who you are what the fuck you can also do, take a step outside and breathe in the new phase of your life.] ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ [oh my pile fours, are you guys psyching yourself out of this? This feels like a project of some sort and you over here coming out as this courageous, strong minded, independent individual , and you seem to be fearless, but im also getting that this may be a team effort, maybe you dont like asking for help. This is something you cant do alone, or without a second opinion. You seem to have this very innovative mind, like its not that difficult for you to create or even start with your projects, but im getting there needs to be more of a lighter approach to this. You’re coming off as this extremely okay I didn’t want to say feisty lol, but yeah feisty and extremely serious. I feel like this pile goes after things without thinking, you know taking some time to look at the whole picture and then see what needs to get done. It’s just coming off as if you need to do this all alone or by yourself. I also feel like its trust issues, feeling like you have to hold onto your swords so no one will come in and snatch it away from you. I feel like you may be this way because of deceitful people in the past, people who screwed you over and manipulated the situation. Another thing here is taking action on a relationship, it doesn’t have to be, but approaching someone for something, like this makes you nervous,its either you not wanting to trust these/this people/thing/project. You’re holding something within you, and its like dying to come out, its feels like something that you have been planning for quite some time, like its been in the works just marinating and now you’re ready to present something or go after this. I just feel like there is a lot of sneakiness surrounding this, feeling like it may be too good of an opportunity, its either a good ass offer that you want to take up or this could be you offering something as well. I dont think going after this forcefully or very assertive will help much, you may come off as too strong but its okay, because there’s something called the temperance card lmao, okay being serious, you guys gotta relax and calm that stress down, its getting you fired up fr, it could be positive or negative but i feel like its something that would even have you acting/being more in that softer energy. Like doing this would bring some peace and calmness to your life. I feel like you guys may ned to let your guard down a little and loosen up the barrier, to be able to get to this, it feels like it needs to be handled with more care and love, pure love, letting yourself be naked and open in front, not literally lol but its the vulnerability and honesty with shedding the skin, taking the clothes off, clearing up your mental confusion, dont deceive yourself and dont let anyone try to even get one up on you! <333] ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ [i feel like you guys are the lil cinnamon rolls, the sweet chocolate chip cookies, not too hard and no too soft, just right. You guys have such a sweet energy its weird as soon as i tapped in, even if you may show a more assertive side to yourself i just feel like you guys are really kind and sweet underneath the front. I feel like you guys are really curious and ready to explore this new horizon, but then there’s the hesitation because you may be a bit skeptical of what’s to come when you go for this, and take the step. You have a younger bold energy to you, but also so curious, and I also feel like this would be a full circle moment for you guys. Like once you go ahead with this, it’ll feel like you’re seeing it making more sense as it plays out. I feel like you guys are extremely curious and fascinated with this, it has your focus, like something you have been keeping an eye on. Are you guys feeling like you dont really know where to start because you’re younger and newer to this, i mean you dont have to be young lmao, but its something that’s very new to you. I’m feeling like you may not even want to see past the blindfold because whatever is behind the veil is a little bit nerve wracking, does music help you guys too calm down? Like it just uplifts you, i keep getting distracted and turning my music up to jam haha. It can also be that too, you distracting your mind and letting it take you to your own paradise while you kind of ignore the elephants big ass right in front of you. I feel like you may not know what to really do, but just take your time but also taking too much time and being really patient can delay things for us to. It’s okay to do what makes you happy, if this will make you happy. I’m just feeling like you are at a crossroads and taking some time to think it through and come up with a decision, a choice that feels good for your soul, by listening to your inner wisdom, which is feel is the same as our intuition. I feel like you should think more about how this will impact you, whichever decision you make for yourself, going this or that way. But weighing out the pros and cons for too long will create all these unnecessary illusions and false narratives in your head, I swear everyone in this entire opacity has to work on getting out of their head, even me too! We tend to think and think and think so much, imagine how heavy your head feels boo. I feel like to help you out you need to put this fresher adolescent like energy to use, the curiosity of a child but also the fear of one too, nervous about the big and bad, but you have all the tools you need. I feel like you have these amazing skills that you’re not putting to use, this will change a lot for your whether it may be small or big, nomn matter what, its a whole new phase that’ll open up for you. Listening to the divine whos speaking through me and even developing your amazing skills, nothing wrong with learning and even leaning on others when you need help too. its a good wake up call for you, peeling back old layers of you to bring in More abundant wisdom and also by opening yourself more to this, you’ll gain some knowledge and learn more about your own power that lies within you.] ❞

⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆ ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ᴜ ɢᴜʏꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ᴄʜᴇᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴘᴀᴄ, ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀꜱɴ’ᴛ ᴛᴏᴏ ʜᴀʀꜱʜ, ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴍᴇ, ʟᴍᴀᴏ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴛᴏᴏᴋ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜɪꜱ, ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴘᴀᴛɪᴇɴᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟꜰ, ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ʀᴜꜱʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘʀᴏɢʀᴇꜱꜱ, ɪᴛ’ꜱ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴏᴋᴀʏ, ʙᴜᴛ ɢᴏ ᴀʜᴇᴀᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʙɪꜱʜ!!! ᴘᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟꜰ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ʙᴏᴏ!!!! ⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆

[crushedsweets]

i am so so sorry for the sheer amount of headcanons i'm making you crank out, HOWEVER... i am so curious as to if you have any headcanons for nina and natalie as a duo. i love the way you perceive them and write them it genuinely makes me so happy

i had to doodle them . ok. lets go..

nat was one of the first people nina met from jeff, since she and jeff lived in the barn together.

nina thought nat was a lesbian when they first met . that is literally the only reason why she wasnt mad jeff was living with a woman.

although nina was like, one of the ONLY people to notice toby/nat tension and was sooo heartbroken when she realized they were never getting together..... but then was relieved they didnt get together when she got over jeff because 'well i can't be the only single one!'

again, natalie grew up with 0 girl friends, only hung out with her brother and boys. even after meeting the creeps, theyre still mostly guys. so she's just kinda really awkward and weird around girls. not in a like, 'oh girls r so annoying' way but like... she just doesnt know how to fit in. she just feels so different in the worst possible way and always has.

and nina is very girly, outgoing, touchy, friendly, cute, etc. so it was very like UMMM?!? idk. natalie kept snapping at her, assuming she was fake and weird and just trying to get something from nat, but nina was so persistent and just. friendly. it started making natalie feel warm.

nina's presence started to heal natalies inner little girl. she had it stolen from her time and time again, from her dad, her brother, her peers - the operator, too.

so the two are eventually actual friends. they'll text and play mobile phone games together. sometimes they'll just sit on call and nina will be talking her head off while nat does her own thing at home. one time nat was at tobys cabin and nina was talking about toby on speaker and toby walked in and was like 'hey nina' .... nina almost threw up she was so embarrassed.

nina loves visiting nats bar because everyone is always talking to nina and giving her attention and buying her drinks, and at first nat was irritated but it kinda got nat some better tips since the customers started realizing ninas her friend. so nat was pleased. LOL

nat was never the type to go shopping, but she'll follow nina around and sit while nina tries on clothes and carry around all her bags that she buys LOL... ninas made jokes about nat being boyfriend material and nat just flatout says smth about how nina should get over jeff cuz he would never.

nat is friends with jeff but she's oddly comfortable just telling nina that he's a piece of shit. and ninas always like NOOO U DONT GET IT U DONT SEE WHAT I DO and nats always just .. not... impressed..

nina's always inviting nat out to try new foods. nat grew up just eating bread and noodles with butter half the time so it's fun. nina always tries to pay bc 'well i invited you!!!'. sometimes toby tags along but he feels a way abt going in public places..

nina rarely visits jack cuz she has no reason to, but nat is friends with him so sometimes nina pops in and she's always like ^_^ HELLO TALL MYSTERIOUS SLIGHTLY MONSTEROUS MAN... <3... nat smacks the back of her head cuz she's being dumb and drooling over a bunch of rando freaks. ... . ok i love nina and she owes jeff nothing but she is def not loyal LOLLLL AND SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO FAWN OVER EVERYONE she's a fangirl at heart.

they watch a ton of shows together. nina got nat into horror kdrama stuff, but they have to watch in dub cuz nat cant read the subtitles fast enough . . . at first nina cringed but now she doesnt care.

nat's painted/drawn nina several times, and nina almost cries everytime. she's put the drawings up on her wall before but anytime nat's at her apartment, she takes it down bc 'i dont want my art on ur wall stop it' LOL... kinda rude but whatevs.

ugh theyre just so fucking cute guys im sorry i love them . holds them. brushes their hair.

[kingprinceleo]

Literally everything about Vampire Au since i irreversibly fucked everything up and im just so damn tired:

Early timeline stuff (google docs link)

everything else not on the doc-

eggman is around 100 years old and has been butting heads with gun for control of angel island the entire time

angel island is 1 main island (master emerald) and 7 smaller islands (1 chaos emerald each), GUN hid a chaos emerald on each island to keep them from being easily discoverable and to use their power to maintain the barrier, originally built by gerald as a safety feature

GUN has total control of 3 of the islands, they are more cyberpunk in terms of infrastructure, the further islands are called The Wilds, where mobians inhabit the old buildings from the flood. sonic fights to keep gun from expanding their reach further

Ghost, the head of gun, is an ancient vampire and one of the first Mobian vampires. scourned by what the mutations did to them, they want to kill the vampires of angel island to have their own peaceful domain far away from the surface world

shadow behaves differently depending on how close he is to GUN territory, before Ghost had lost shadow, his mind was altered to better fit Ghosts mission. he was meant to be used as a weapon to hunt and kill vampires, the closer he is to the city, the stronger Ghosts mind control over him is. though ghost isnt aware shadow is awake and running around yet, the mind control is a passive state shadow is in and doesnt realize. he only has a stronger drive to kill near the city.

first arc was meant to just be generally kinda silly, it wasnt meant to be super serious- hoax and shadow make their blood deal in order to get hoax to stop stealing shadows blood bags knukcles, defensive on shadows behalf, clocks hoax so hard he turns back into sonic, thus being the first person to learn about hoax being sonic (outside of amy and tails, who helped come up with hoax)

knuckles learns about the master emerald buried under his fucking pizza store. what the hell. and starts learning about his past as the last echidna from tikal, whos been haunting the pizza place until she was able to get knuckles attention

amy really wants to prove her devotion to sonic by making him a Light ring, a ring with magic infused strong enough to fully protect him from the sun. she is not a powerful enough witch to do it so she starts researching

tails is a shithead and cosmo tries to teach him about friendship

sonic starts learning about chaos emeralds while dealing with eggman etc etc

one of eggmans plots was to mess with the moon pull during a blood moon, driving up bloodlust in vampires and starting chaos

tails vampire reveal

rouge discovers sol and introduces mephiles and silver etc

eggman has a blood mining operation in sol (bc the planet is a living creature)

-arc 2 , generally

the chaotix send tails to gay baby jail , gets broken out by silver mephiles

amy starts getting real desperate bc she keep failing to make the ring, she starts checking out dark magic due to her own shortcomings, being suggested by eggman who is interested in the ring himself. she finds sol alongside sonic and starts researching more magic with blaze and other castle scholars. an attempt at dark magic goes wrong with blaze, the queen of sol. amy is exiled and back to square one, now even more desperate, she keeps trying with dark magic. unknowingly, poisoning her own magic and corrupting the gemstone embedded in sonics staff

shadow starts getting a teeny tiny bit comfortable with hoax, and also is informed about the master emerald by knuckles. tikal remembers him and he starts to realize something isnt quite right in his memories. time for a series of unfortunate events

he delivers pizza to the eggman himself, who talks remorse about what he put shadow through, but angles it in a way to spark further hatred for sonic in shadow, stating sonic influence is what made him have regrets

amys dark magic usage starts corrupting hoax himself, because he is a product of amys magic. the darkness slowly chews away at his mind, and if they dont fix him, sonic will become a mindless servant of dark gaia forever. this is the shadow hoax reveal. It takes all of the friends & shadow to be able to fight and wrangle hoax, once the gemstone is smashed, shadow gets to see hoaxs true form, sonic. shadow tries to KILL HIS ASS

mephiles, the shape shifter, has taken interest in shadow and his determined to make his life more miserable by shifting into rouge and biting him, exposing to shadow rouge has been hiding being a vampire from him the entire time theyve known each other shadow fucking snaps and fucks off to go work for GUN, all vampires are the same lying conniving bastards, and he wants to kill them very dead

shadow captures sonic and he gets held in the central GUN base. sonic finds out Ghost has been not only killing vampires, but draining their lifeforce to keep themselves alive bc theyre old as shit. rouge is also exposed as a vampire (the chaotix supervisor) and gets held in a cell as well. the chaotix think this whole thing is fucked up actually and bust their queen outta there. knuckles and Co come to save sonic, shadow and knuckles have a stand off about both being the protectors of the island and how their friendship has gone out the window if knuckles chooses sonic. Knuckles escapes with sonic

The realizations DO NOT STOP COMING. BOOM. GUN DOCUMENTS. maria was a vampire womp womp. gun killed her for it. Shadow is horrified and the memories start flooding back. Ghost doesnt like this. Get in the Suit Boy. we are gonna kill these heathens <3 ! mephiles takes control of shadows body but no one is aware bc hes inside the fnaf suit. terrible day for him mephiles is gonna use the eclispe canon to drill to the earths core and reunite with iblis ! the only reason he was in sol in the first place was bc he thought blaze was the iblis trigger

everyone is OBVIOUSLY trying to stop this including eggman what the hell shadow this isnt worth it what the fuck

mephiles casually tosses shadows body into the core of the earth once hes done with him and woah. silver and sonic solaris fight woahhhhh vine boom vine boom

arc 3 !

no more angel island barrier, sonic has left to pursue eggman on the surface since hes up to no good, leaving the protection of angel island to knuckles. amy has also left for the surface to spend time on her own and try to learn magic for herself

shadow , barely alive, is fighting his way tooth and nail from the core of the earth.

a year of time passes and during that year- sonic gets up to little adventures, shadow learns to live life on the surface knowing all of the truths about himself now. they both realize they kinda had a crush on the other guy.... damn thats unfortunate.

Ghost no longer has the chaos emeralds but has Created the phantom ruby as a replacement, and has raised infinite from the dead to be its bearer. they create a fake Sh4dow. infinite gets to live out his tormenting shadows life fanfic for fucking killing him !! smh . infinte also uses Sh4dow to infiltrate Sol, Ghost has just discovered the pocket dimension on Their island and wants it gone. This is Shadows sol apartment btw. the fake bought it and he just. took it.

things are gradually getting worse on angel island and both sonic and shadow return. shadow is informed of the fake and teams up with rouge and knuckles to get rid of it flower ball happens around here, Sh4dow trying to fuck up sol somehow and shadow has to stop him. amongus time sonics been flirting with the wrong guy for a while. :{ embarrassing.

something something this leads to infinite and Ghost fight and they both die whatever who cares

so thats what ive been doing for like 2 years !! i . really fucking hate it tbh. all of this work feels so wasted and i feel so stupid. sorry for wasting your time for so long

i like the characters and i like what they have going on but like man,,,, all of the surrounding context just feels so miserably hopeless, it was all for nothing and i just. i want to sleep forever

[remcycl333]

i really like when u talk abt ur own experiences when dealing with all this!! could u expand more on how u manifested ur apartment? like what ur daily life looked like, etc. bc im in a similar situation w a mentally exhausting family and im trying to get tf out lol

TW: narcissistic/co-dependent parent

yeah! so my older sister got married and moved out, leaving me alone with a narcissistic parent, so i knew i really wanted to move out and live on my own. but i had negative circumstances. for instance my parent was really co-dependent, which led to them never letting me get my drivers license or a job. even when i was 20-21. plus this was during lockdown so i didn't really have the ability to learn how to drive from other means. plus along with not being able to drive and not having the money to afford living on my own, i knew my parent would never let me move out bc they didn't want to be alone. so i was really depressed because my situation felt very hopeless.

but then i remembered the power of manifestation. i had manifested an sp at this point and other things, such as appearance changes and money here and there, but this was a "big" manifestation. big meaning that so many dominoes had to fall in just the right places, so to speak. for instance i was nervous that i'd wake up in a new apartment and not be able to pay the rent to live there and have to move out. so i was unsure if i should manifest money first, and then manifest the apartment. but what i was imagining as my end was me in my apartment with more than enough money to survive, so i decided not to manifest in steps.

i was triggered a LOT at first, bc like i mentioned i was dealing with a co-dependent narcissistic parent. like sometimes they'd talk about how i'd still be living at home till i was 25+ and the idea made me go absolutely crazy. i went through months of being miserable at the idea, thinking about how all my peers were living on their own and not having to deal with the shit i did. but eventually i just got so fed up and i decided i just needed to go completely in, because i had been putting off really applying for the longest time.

so what i did was make a note in my notes app describing my dream apartment, and i included pics i found on Pinterest of different features i wanted in my apartment. like what i wanted the kitchen and bathroom to look like, the specific vanity i wanted, etc.

then whenever i thought about it, i'd tell myself i was already there and the apartment was mine. similarly to Abdullah slamming the door on Neville and saying "you are in Barbados", any time i wondered how it would happen or think about how it hadn't reflected yet, i'd tell myself "you are in your dream apartment." it was a reminder that i wouldn't be wondering any of those things, or worrying or doubting, if i was already in my dream apartment. and i already was there in my imagination! so there was no room for me to be dwelling on stuff like that.

throughout the day, i liked to retreat to my imagination when i had time and felt upset about my 3D. i'd do so by imagining that my surroundings were different. for instance i had a picture saved of what i wanted my shower to look like (it was always my dream to have a really really nice bathroom bc my shower has always been a safe space for me of sorts lmao) so when i was in the shower, i'd close my eyes and imagine i was in that shower i had saved from Pinterest. i also did this in the kitchen when i was cleaning or cooking, and while i laid in bed at night before falling asleep.

i also never really let people come over to my house when i lived with my parent(s) bc my co-dependent narcissistic parent would always come up with some completely insane and random reason why they didn't like that friend and i'd never hear the end of it. so i'd have inner convos with myself about how i was excited my friend was coming over later and i'd come up with different things we'd be doing. this was another way i liked to fulfill myself in my imagination.

whenever i was interacting with my parent, as i way to dismiss my 3D, i just pretended i was visiting home and that's why i was with them/at their house. it helped me remind myself that being there wasn't permanent.

this manifestation took me a couple of months, as i was triggered a lot. eventually, after fulfilling myself enough and finding solace in my imagination whenever i felt bad, i was triggered less and less by my 3d and circumstances. i also manifested my parent being chiller and blowing up a lot less.

the final thing i was missing was that i was in a neutral state a lot and i thought because i wasn't upset by my 3d that meant i wasn't in the state of lack. i just had this epiphany recently on my twitter, so it took me a while to correct this issue because i didn't even know it was an issue. i had that epiphany well after successfully manifesting my apartment.

the neutral state was me being like "oh my 3d isn't too bad i kinda like chilling in my room unbothered." so i wasn't upset at my 3d, but i was still also acknowledging i didn't have what i wanted. this was fixed when i started imagining my surroundings as my dream apartment, like i mentioned a few paragraphs up.

and then one day, i woke up and my surroundings felt different. i sleep with a sleeping mask on, so when i wake up and open my eyes, it's still pitch black. but i felt the air around me was different, and the sounds around me were different. like the sound of my ceiling fan in my room was different. then i took off my sleeping mask and i was in my new room, in my new apartment!

it was kinda spooky at first im ngl. at first i thought i was dreaming, but i wasn't (i checked). then i just explored the apartment! i was paranoid i was gonna find someone in my apartment or something 😭 but the apt was exactly how i wanted it to look, and i had plenty of money in my bank account to cover rent and bills and food! and i've been living here ever since with virtually 0 problems :)

[drdemonprince]

Hello! You have opened a fascinating door into kink communities I didn't even know existed. Thanks for that. I was describing some of your steamworks adventures to my partner, who works as a Disease Intervention Specialist (aka DIS, a government healthcare worker who administers free/low-cost STD testing and then attempts to track down and notify+test the recent sexual partners of any infected individuals). (He brings some INSANE stories home from work and gets to give sex ed talks at the local Christian college using a model penis that actually ejaculates--but I digress.) He was horrified by the hypothetical situation where an infected person could have blindfolded sex with an unknown number of nameless strangers. It's hard enough trying to track down partners when the patient only knew them by their Grindr username. How do you have safe sex in these situations? Some STDs can be transmitted via skin-to-skin contact even with a condom. Do venues like steamworks enforce any rules around testing/protection/etc.?

If your partner is 'horrified' by the actual sex lives of the populations he ostensibly serves I think he needs to read more from harm reductionist thinkers and queer activists from a variety of past eras and work on processing his feelings of judgement to ensure it doesn't impact his actions in that line of work.

The books and Melancholia and Moralism, Saving Our Own Lives, and Beyond Shame: Reclaiming the Abandoned History of Radical Gay Sexuality are good places to start.

If you're having anonymous or blindfolded sex in cruising spaces, one route of managing risks is to assume that every person there could be infected with STIs you do not have and to plan accordingly. Vaccines, condoms, PreP, testing, and education are just some of the tools at one's disposal, and one should always be cognizant of the risks that one is consenting to. Steamworks has sexual health educators and testers present within their space regularly, but they don't gatekeep based on serostatus, health status, drug regimen or use of protection -- doing so wouldn't be feasible and would be problematic on multiple grounds.

I don't believe the goal of a public health initiative or a life well lived is to eliminate all risk, or to regard the presence of any infection in any human body as unacceptable, but rather to empower people to make informed decisions about the level of risk they are comfortable confronting, or that is worth the numerous benefits to them.

Personally, I was in far greater danger when I didn't have access to such spaces. Cruising spaces make negotiating sexual consent far safer than privately dating and hooking up with someone, and Steamworks are vitally important queer community spaces, and for me are well worth the trade off. No one should have any illusions about this ever being an experience that they can eliminate all risk from, rather they should anticipate it and plan for it.

I think "safe sex" is an unhelpful framework to pursue because it is so binary and can't ever be guaranteed. What does safety mean? Which types of exposures do we consider to be "unsafe"? Am I unsafe if I encounter another person who, like me, has had a cold sore before, like 80% of the population? Or someone who has a strain of HPV I am vaccinated against? What about if I have an encounter with somebody with a cold? I'm "safer" being fucked by an HIV positive person who is undetectable and wearing a condom than I am having barrier free sex with a long term partner who cheats. I can't even know I'm taking a risk in the latter case; at Steamworks, I'm assuming my risk level to be on the high end and planning accordingly.

I understand that testing and tracing are important parts of public health for our populations. It was vitally important when monkeypox broke out. Maybe Steamworks should collect member emails and alert them if there was a reported transmission on a night that they visited. Though even then, there are some negative public health implications to dozens of people panicking. But there is no means of eliminating all risk entirely or tracing all human sexual behavior and I would be myself pretty horrified if there was.

[midnightmah07]

*Note that this mini event takes place in the future, years after the character's have graduated and left Night Raven College. Lydia and Silver have two kids by the time they get married, Ryuumi (their adopted son, age 6) and Momo (their biological son, age 4) They live in Briar Valley (specifically in the house Lilia raised Silver in), with Lilia visiting/staying over often (he basically lives with them lol ♡)*

You open your mailbox one morning to find a letter, wrapped in twine and wild flowers. Your name was written neatly on the front, with small drawings in crayon surrounding it (done by a child). Inside the letter was an invitation, inviting you to a joyous occasion.

Lydia and Silver are getting married, and you're invited! ♡

The wedding and reception will be held outdoors, in the woods near their home (essentially their backyard lol ♡). The wedding will have chairs on each side of the aisle for guests to sit, decorated in soft pinks, blues, and gold (alongside the natural plant life). The reception will have tables and chairs, along with a dance floor and buffet (that will be catered).

Since this mini event takes place in the future, think of this as a fun opportunity to imagine what your OC and OC x Canon's future will be like! Maybe they're married, or have kids of their own? Or maybe they're separated, and have a reunion at the wedding?? 👀👀👀

Is your OC attending as a guest, or are they part of the wedding? Like a bridesmaid, or groomsman, or even being Lydia's hairstylist for the day! It's up to you ♡

There's no dress code/requirements either! It's moreso what you think your OC / OC x Canon would wear if they got invited to a wedding (or were apart of a wedding party!) ♡

Once people start responding to their invitations (whether it be with art, writing, etc) I'll write some scenarios to go along with it, and tag you when it's posted ♡

Thank you! ♡♡♡

THIS IS SUCH A CUTE AND FUN IDEA FOR AN EVENT OH MY GOODNESS WAIT IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS‼️‼️‼️

I LOVE the wedding event it's so freaking fun... I'm not sure when Sweet Dreams would get married but I'd decided to pick something for my own amusement!! So by the time Sweet Dreams are getting married daiggie are already married and expecting Maggie (Daisy'd be pregnant of 2 months); overall I think daiggie are fairly quick to get married and only take some while due to them trying to get themselves a house, and their pregnancy was 100% accidental so it doesn't matter on my mind when it happened bc who cares they didn't plan for it anyway lol

I think Daisy and Ruggie would be mere guests bc I don't think Lydia and Ruggie are too close and unfortunately we haven't really talked about Daisy and Lydia being friends 😭 I'm sure they'd be friends but idk if it'd be enough for Lydia to want her as a bridesmaid or something,,, so unfortunately she's just a guest, but she's just as happy for Lydia as any other💙🙂‍↕️

ALSO!!!

[acti-veg]

hello! im vegan; I love our nonhuman friends and hate speciesism. but like what is to be done about cockroaches. i have an infestation in my apartment. i recognize that humans are a minority on this great big planet, that we have taken space that belonged first to insects and animals, but. cockroaches. are there ethical ways to make them stay outta my place? is that an ethical desire in the first place. also great blog you are eloquent and patient and i tell all my vegan friends about your posts in da group chat

Thank you for the support, I really appreciate that! This is a common ethical dilemma for vegans, and I've answered it in general terms in my FAQs here, but I'll offer some more specific advice as well.

With cockroaches, prevention is the best thing you can do. I realise that it is too late for this for your apartment now, but you should start doing these things regardless, if you don't already, since they may drive out the roaches already there:

Do a deep clean immediately. That means disinfecting everything, paying special attention to areas like the top of your fridge and behind it, the backs of cupboards, behind the oven (if you can move it), under your bed, the tops of doors, behind furniture. Anywhere that you don't clean on a regular basis. Get all your furniture and appliances out and clean thoroughly. If you're doing this properly, it should take a full day of work.

Once you have done a deep clean, throw out or seal away any clutter that cockroaches could live and nest in. Paper is especially attractive to them - so any books, letters, cardboard, but also linens, piles of clothes, dishrags, tea towels etc. Get rid of it or seal it away in plastic boxes. You want your space to be as empty as possible, at least until they are gone.

While we're on throwing out, look up what their eggs look like. If you find anything with their eggs on it, sterilise it or throw it away. If it is something like a book, you will not be able to sufficiently sterilise and you'll need to throw it away (in an outside bin). Check all of the books you own, even if they look pretty clean on the shelf.

Keep your space extremely sterile after this, you need to go overboard on this now. Especially make sure you clean all surfaces that you have prepared food on, or eaten nearby. Do this daily, or as often as you can.

Wash plates and utensils immediately after use. Dry them and put them away, don't leave them on the rack.

Keep bins completely covered, clean, and empty them regularly. A separate bin for food waste (emptied daily) is a good idea. This applies to pet bowls as well.

Cockroaches are most active at night, so before you go to bed, check all the above has been done. Leave nothing out over night that they can shelter in, eat, or drink. Make the environment as inhospitable for them as you can.

With you being in an apartment, they may be coming from a neighbouring property. Seal gaps around doors and windows to prevent entry - you may need to speak to the landlord or property manager about this if you're renting.

Cockroaches need water, so take a look at whether you have any leaks around water pipes that could be providing them with a drinking source. Things like mop buckets, wet toothbrushes, drip trays in the fridge, the bottom of the bath/shower, and wet sponges also count. Anything moist needs to be covered up, or dried off after use.

This alone may well be enough to drive them out and prevent them from returning, but there are also natural deterrents (and chemical ones) that you can use. This includes bay leaves, pepper, garlic powder, dishwashing liquid, essential oils and baking soda. There are many pre-made natural ones online too, if you're concerned about chemicals.

Try these things over a period of weeks, but if that doesn't work, you need to call an exterminator as your last resort. You just cannot live in close proximity with cockroaches, they pose a health risk and they may damage the property. Your landlord or housing association may be able to pay for it or at least help with the costs, especially if you can get one or more neighbour to come out and say that they have cockroaches as well. The law requires this in many places.

Hopefully it won't come to that, exhaust everything else here before you call a professional, but don't feel bad if that is what you have to do. So long as you're doing everything possible and practicable to try and drive them out humanely, then you really don't have any other choice available to you. Just know that even if you do call an exterminator, if you don’t do everything else on this list, they will almost definitely come back

It speaks well of you that you’re concerned about this from an ethical perspective, but remember that veganism has to be practical for it to work. You have to look after your own wellbeing first, and it just isn’t reasonable to expect anyone to tolerate cockroaches in their home purely on ethical grounds.

[changbinsboobs]

If you had to use one word to describe each of skz’s dorm mates dynamic living together what would it be? I feel like some of them would be super chaotic and others super chill (Felix and seungmin lol)

Used the 3rd Eye Tarot. I didn't do the one word thing cuz I'm too lazy to get my creative juices going so i just did a short reading on it:)

*For entertainment purposes only!

SKZ Dorm Pair Dynamics

Chan + I.N - Knight of Cups, 10 of Pentacles, 5 of Swords

They keep their interactions at surface level. As long as they do that their co living goes well. Since they have quite different visions on the world and just overall. They don't see eye to eye and never will - as in u will never see the world the same way your grandma will right, cuz both of u are from different generations. U still love her tho:) as long as y'all don't go into too much depth. Same goes for those two.

I think if they spend too much time together and go to deep in their interactions they'll get pretty pissed at each other pretty quickly😅

I'm also seeing some love stuff going on in there so someone might be inviting their love interest over there.

Lee Know + Han - 6 of Wands, 2 of Wands, Ace of Wands

Very active dorm.

Both of them interact a lot with each other and have plans for places they'll go visit, food they'll try, hobbies they'll do together etc.

Changbin + Hyunjin - 4 of Cups, King of Wands, Death

A funny mood overall.

But actual jokes and fun actually just happen on occasion. Not all the time.

This is a bit difficult to decipher to be honest cuz im not picking up on a consistent energy.

Thats why i think they have like phases (?) they go through. So if they have a lighthearted phase they joke and have fun together.

But then they go back to their hermit mood and each one goes into his own world and hivernate for a while and have their own small rebirth, and then when they're done with that they go out of it and have fun and interract again.

I think thats not something they really are conscious if. If you were to ask them i think they would tell you they're constantly together and having a blast. Cuz those hibernation phases they have, tho long, i think for them feel like one afternoon or something like that. So for them it feel like they're constantly having fun together cuz its like the hibernation phase doesn't count, its like sleeping😂

Felix + Seungmin - The Devil, The Tower, 7 of Pentacles

Honestly seeing those cards scared me a bit, i thought this dorm was gonna be the most lighthearted one but it seems like the heaviest most strained one.

I think each one's in their own world and they have little to no interactions. Each of them works in themselves and their own stuff.

Idk if its something between them that has happened, or one of them had a really nasty experience that they are preoccupied with.

I think one's just minding his own buisenss, not engaging whatsoever in the drama of the other.

While the other is sunken deep into his own suffering and filth and despair.

Its giving victim complex tbh.

Im seeing strong mental health issues. And toxic ways of handling himself and the situation. With every step he tales he sinks more and more into it.

And the whole tragedy thing - i don't think it really exist(?) its more like in his head than in reality. And he brought it on himself (thats why the other one doesn't seem to care that much, im getting the vibe of putting his hands in the air cuz he thinks the other one's just a hopeless case and he should learn to deal with it by himself), from lack of boundaries.

I wasn't planing on saying who it is cuz its none of my business but ya'll already know I think it's Felix so I'll clarify that based on this current energy, and the energy I've sensed from felix before i assume its him. I haven't specifically read about that/ confirmed it with the cards. And i don't intend to do it, cuz i just think we shouldn't stick our noses everywhere. I think the cards just give out enough energy/info for us, and i pick on just as much as i should. If something isn't confirmed by itself, i don't like pestering the poor guys and harassing them to tell us.

[ohbo-ohno]

Idk if you’ve seen the tiktok “I accepted to let you go so you can find the love of your life while I was here letting mine go” for the soulmate au on Dlmliyh, what if the soultie for ghoap was simply love that simon and johnny find comfort in eachother because they felt “incomplete” and they were fine with the arrangement until Reader appeared she was the person to basically make them complete, but it just so happens that they were not her soulmate(maybe they were already married, etc.) like what happens then??

okay (1) i have NOT seen that tiktok and tbh im glad bc it sounds sad and i am a tenderhearted bitch and (2) i think you're asking basically what if in a soulmate au johnny & simon were soulmates but decided to take the reader even though she isn't their soulmate, which is a fun idea!!

i've read soulmate au's where occasionally a person is born without a soulmark for whatever reason, and i kind of like that idea here

like simon & johnny are soulmates - matching marks, the feeling of completeness when they're together, the whole she-bang. but then johnny sees this pretty girl at the club, a pretty unmarked girl and there's something in him that just clicks into place

johnny taking her home bc it's just so sad that she doesn't have a mark of her own :( but it's okay, johnny knows he and simon can fill up the empty space that's surely been making her suffer for her whole life. surely a life with he and simon can't be worse than a life alone?

simon who's a-okay with this because he knows that he and johnny need a bit more balance. they're perfect for each other, of course, but he knows they'll eventually consume one another. having a girl with them, a pretty thing who doesn't have the same background and intensity of them, can maybe give their lives a bit more length (does any of this make sense. im trying to say that ghost and johnny will burn out alone and with a third to settle them about they're likely to live like at least a few more decades)

vs. reader who's finally grown enough to embrace not having a soulmark. she's spent her whole life longing for something she'll never experience, and now as an adult she's finally getting used to the idea that a lack of attachment also comes with freedom. she's got no ties holding her down, she doesn't have to live her life knowing that at any moment she might meet The One

only to be scooped up in the middle of the night and taken by two psycho soulmates who decide they can give her anything she needs in life <3

[theeternalhost]

100 reasons to live

your family

your friends

the feeling you get when you’ve finished something

the feeling you get when you get a compliment

the feeling you get when you buy new clothes

the feeling you get when you try on new clothes

the feeling you get when your room is tidy

the feeling you get when you're laughing hesterically.

the feeling you get when you make a new friend

the feeling you get when you make someone smile

you’d have to watch your family and friends grieve.

you’ve never been to that place you always wanted to visit.

you’ve never been to disney world.

you’ve never been skinny dipping.

you’ve never swam in a lake.

you’ve never met your idol.

you haven’t gotten married.

you’ve never decorated your own house.

you’ve never saved someone’s life.

you haven’t learnt to drive.

there is music you haven’t listen too.

you have so many more people to meet.

everyone who thought you’d do well in life, would have been wrong.

the people who said you’d end up no where, would have been right.

all the fake people would pretend to like u and post u on their stories.

you would have been the best mom or dad.

you haven’t lived the ‘my funeral will be packed’ type of life.

your friends would suffer.

your mum would never be able to walk into your room.

you haven’t apologised to people you have hurt.

someone loves you.

you are not alone.

i’m here for you.

the clothes you’re buried in might be gross.

you haven’t truly loved yourself yet.

suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems.

you haven’t watched your kids open their christmas presents.

you haven’t watched your kids grow older.

the pain you feel right now, isn’t forever.

there are so many foods you haven’t tried.

you’ll never get the feeling of walking into a warm building on a cold day.

finding your person.

really soft pillows.

eating pizza with your kids and partner.

you’ve never danced in the rain.

you’ve never kissed someone in the rain.

there are so many hobbies you haven’t tried.

you’ll never have a sleepover with your best friend again.

your friends would blame themselves.

your mom's smile.

your best friend's laugh.

your sister would lose her best friend.

your cousins that look up to you.

hot chocolate on cold days.

ice water on hot days.

getting a tan.

hearing ‘i love you’.

not being able to sleep the night before and exciting day.

your birthday.

you’ve never been to a nightclub.

long hot showers.

long steamy baths.

freshly shaved legs.

perfectly smooth hair.

watching people trip over small objects.

you could have a huge impact on someone’s life.

you would regret dying.

you can’t change your mind once you're gone.

you wake up everyday for a reason.

stars.

you will always be enough.

movies that make you feel warm when they’re over.

reading powerful quotes.

genuine smiles.

the crunch of autumn leaves.

christmas.

christmas eve.

decorating the tree.

long meaningful hugs.

sunsets.

ice cream.

you never got that puppy.

you are so brave, it would be a waste to let the fire go.

rainbows.

travelling to new places.

funny stories.

funny jokes.

inside jokes.

coffee.

your talents would go to waste.

the feeling you get when you’re truly happy.

all nighters with friends.

cuddling.

reconnecting with old friends and family.

smiling.

capturing perfect moments on camera.

swimming on a hot day.

feeling cozy in blankets.

helping other people with the same thing you got help with. 100! becoming successful.

cute babies.

this is so weird. lists like these make me want to kill myself more! is this all there is in living that makes it worth it to you people? puppy cuddles, etc? and i would like to challenge 11 and 67, how exactly will i know how people will react to my death?? ill be dead, retard! 97 im incapable of feeling as a dysthymic, 71, 69, 39, 35, 33, 32 and 31 are meaningless word soup, i also do not have a sister and if my friends are good friends theyll be happy for me that im finally free from existence. i dont have the energy to sit here and explain why all of these 100 reasons are idiotic, but they are. people like you are utterly delusional and i hope one day you stop lying to yourself about the supposed value of life.