#but no one can really afford to live in a place like that
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Writing Advice: Writing Authentic Dialogue
For @radiantmocha TL;DR: advice for writing combat and improving dialogue authenticity?
I'm sorry that this post is going to be so short but it's a really simple topic for me :D
A) Authenticity: Actually Talk To These People Or Read Their Books
When it comes to looking for authentic dialogue, especially in relation to combat, just trying to start up a connection with a professional can be the gateway into actual realism.
If you can, try talking to a veteran or someone actively serving in the military!
If you are interested in a specific time in history that no one is currently alive from, try talking to either a historian or a history buff.
If neither of those options work for you, try reading books and other stories that were written by veterans. My favorite book of this genre is "All Quiet On The Western Front" which is a semi-autobiographical book exploring what life was like for german soldiers in WW1 which was written by Erich Maria Remarque, a German veteran of WW1.
I emplore you to explore stories, even fictional stories, that were written by soldiers!
B) Authenticity: Accounting For The Environment
What's the time period that the story is set?
Where is the story set?
What is the socio-economic status of the protagonist?
What is the personality of the protagonist?
Answer these questions (and more) to understand what a character will and wont say. Characters fighting in WW1 won't reference tanks pre-Battle of Somme.
This advice is true for everything. An innocent, rich kid will certainly speak differently, using different verbage, in comparison to a kid living in the slums. They will also prioritize different things.
What I hate most in stories is when characters, poor for their entire life, poverty-striken, starts wildly proclaiming ideas of justice, fairness, and equality while fighting bullies left and right. Most people in that situation need to keep their head down. They can't afford to go to the police station for "contributing to the a fight" Independent women can't get into the middle of a fight! Do you know how much medical bills cost? If they manage to survive, it's not going to be pretty. No matter how much self-defense classes like to tell women, most women understand that they can't overpower a determined man.
That isn't evil, that's survival, that's practicality! Ideals have always been prioritized by people privileged enough to have the time to think while the poor and always working need to be always working!
Sorry, that was a rant
In Conclusion:
Read stories that real people have written that are either semi-autobiographical or autobiographical! Keep in mind the time and place!
And so sorry for that rant!
#writeblr#writing#on writing#creative writing#writing advice#dialogue ideas#character dialogue#writing dialogue#writers on tumblr#writers#writer#writing tips#writing life#writing community#writing about writing#talking#combat#veterans#military
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can we please have more haunted asylum house stories please
The funniest thing about the asylum is that it's not even the spookiest place I've stayed at tho it does get those extra points bc I had to live there for a year also we didn't know it used to be an asylum when we moved in we had to find out via history book about historical buildings in our county and the picture they used was the front of the house with two 1800s kids standing in front which I'm pretty sure just is the start of a horror movie but yeah the asylum was your basic creepy place at one point I heard horses in the stables despite us not having horses when we lived at that house at one point I was in the house alone and the tap started running and the dog we had at the time refused to go upstairs you know classic stuff
#ask#anon#but yeah when i was younger a friend of my sister used to hold giant Halloween parties#and i spent the summar at my grans house in cornwall one year#both houses were estates that were turned into apartments so spooky as hell#which im not sure how common that is in the rest of the world#but its fairly common here#instead of knocking down old buildings#theyll literally lock a door and go#yep thats an apartment#obviously bc they dont want to know down a historical building#but no one can really afford to live in a place like that#the one i used to spend halloween at#was also like a proper historical site#so all the tennets had to just live with the old furniture#i Just remember youd get so lost as all the tennets got involved in the Halloween party
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#photo diary ᯓ ᡣ𐭩#i wanna live in a tiny pink house right by the forest :c#(tho these are like umm not really meant to be livable houses#more like extra cottages in a place that is a little colony meant for being in during summer and such#it's like a thing for more upperclass ppl haha. they're the only ones who can afford to have a little extra house to spend like so little#time in... i could live in a tiny house like this but they're only here a handful of times a year!!!)
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genuinely it is so depressing to spend money drinking just to end up doing nothing interesting and just sitting around
#i need friends who like. doing things.#i need more friends in general but i mean yeah.#would love to have an actual college experience one day. I’ve been in college 4 years or so and I’ve never been to a party and I’ve never#made lasting/close friendships. since pre-covid I haven’t really made friends at all#all my friends (all four of them) are from high school#it’s really fucking pathetic actually how incapable I am of making friends or having a life#and it just feels like a huge fucking waste of time and a waste of a college environment#part of me wishes I would rent at a place full of mostly other students and get a roommate I don’t know (as much as that’s a bad idea if#it’s anything like last time) just so I can be around people and be forced to meet people#also so I can avoid getting lowkey fucked over because my friends I’m supposed to be renting with eventually don’t want to pay a#significant amount of rent and I’d end up paying way more than them just because they supposedly can’t afford it (we all have about the same#income.)#gehsdhdhdhshhd#they also want to rent a place with four of us total and I just. really don’t want to live with that many people. like I think it would#drive me fucking insane. I need control over my surroundings and that leaves me with no control and I don’t like it#and a million other reasons I don’t like the idea#it was originally just supposed to be me and one friend. so. this was not the plan#hahsgshhshh anyway kill me#I’m in that post-drinking state where all pleasant affects of the alcohol have long since worn off and I’m just sort of left a hollow shell#depressed and disappointed.#and I have to go to work this afternoon woohoo awesome so cool#kibumblabs
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guys you can't read fanfic about spider-punk or listen to the clash, the ramones or whoever and be sad that you can't buy stuff from boycotted brands this is you using your consumer powers to make a change DON'T SUCCUMB TO NEEDS SOCIETY CONVINCED YOU HAD!! TO CRAVINGS THEY TRICKED YOU INTO GETTING!!!! MAKE THAT FUCKING BURGER YOURSELF!!!! MAKE THAT DRINK YOURSELF!!!! GET THAT FUCKING IPHONE ON FACEBOOK MARKETPLACE OR SOMETHING!!!! LEARN TO MAKE YOUR OWN DEODORANT AND SHAMPOO FROM SCRATCH!!!!!! GROW VEGETABLES ON YOUR FUCKING WINDOW SILL!!!!!!!
IT'S BY CHIPPING AWAY AT IT THAT WE'LL TEAR DOWN CAPITALISM!!!
#i strive to rid myself of the capitalism virus one day#i hope i'm still alive when we kill the beast#FREE PALESTINE!#EYES ON RAFAH!#PRAY FOR GAZA!#FREE CONGO!#FREE SUDAN!#to be honest i am in a tight spot and i am nowhere near affording having a coffee machine or spending time in the kitchen#to make stuff from scratch#but as soon as i have a vacation i would love to learn and make a stock to use during the rest of the year or something#i really want to learn to make my own little things#i also have been fascinated with people who manage to live zero-waste#like they literally make EVERYTHING themselves and they shop in specific places etc#and they end up with like a shoebox of trash for a WHOLE YEAR#it's truly incredible and i really admire those people#so i hope i can learn to get there that would be awesome
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Bro no joke, forgetting that not everyone hates capitalism and then having to try have a reasonable conversation with someone about buying things... *eye twitch*
#to explain we will have person A - person B and then me#so person B is asking me if its ok to buy stuff from ebay - because i am a person that tries to avoid buying from amazon etc#and im like yeah should be because its independent sellers mostly - to be fair though yall. i barely buy anything online because i hate#online shopping. i try to buy things in person instead#anyways insert person A whos like 👁👄👁 oH aRe YoU oNe Of ThOse PeOpLE ThAt DoESNt pUrCHasE frOm AmAzON#yall im sighing just thinking about this conversation omfg its so stupid#anyways queue me explaining that yeah. i try to avoid it if i can because i dont like my money going to some motherfucker who doesnt need#the money (person B pipes in that jeff bezos is on the way to becoming a trillionaire which is Not Good 🙃 . thank you B now i will go on)#A then goes on to explain all the benefits to amazon “what if you want something the next day” i ask if theres really anything you truly#need right away like that. we used to live in times where you would have to wait or find it in a shop. A says “oh but its so cool and#convenient“ and i say sure. because they have the money and grew their business of being more 'convenient' than other businesses#A says “oh but the customer service is so good. if i want a return theyll do it straight away with no questions and maybe even give me#credit too“ and im like yeah. because they can afford to do that. ”sometimes independent sellers are in there too“ ok so buy from them then#If You Must but i can guarantee you mostly dont. not to mentuon theyre probably only on there in the first place because amazon has made it#so its one of the most popular places to use instead of anywhere else#and it went on. i just stopped talking eventually because it eas one of those situations where the other person was not fucking listening to#the point i was trying to make. which is that if you really have to. ok do it whatever. i get that its a bit impossible to avoid sometimes#im not gonna sit here and pretend when ive not been able to get something anywhere else i havent got it from there. but the point is to#actually think about WHY youre buying stuff and WHO the money is going to. because websites like amazon especially have created such a trend#of overconsumption. that you just buy stuff and then buy prime because oh its so cheap and useful and comes right the next day! and you dont#consider why any of these things are true. whos getting fucked over in the process. that you are one of the people getting fucked over!!!#lord i could go on but i shant#point is. genuinely do what you want like deep down i do not care it does not affect me and i know its not so straightforward#but people who just BLATANTLY and actively SUPPORT rich people (forgot to mention A kept talking about how the whole site was smart and that#Jeff was a genius blah blah) can you sit and realise that this whole system and that FUCKING Imbecile of a man are!!¡! a problem!!#i wish i could articulate it better but im leaving it at that#good morning yall xD#le text post
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#they speak!#ignore this#my coworker needs to move out and i can't tell if he was mostly joking or completely serious but he asked if i wanted to rent a place w him#and it's so tempting it's. so fucking tempting i want to move out so bad#and especially on days like today where i have to listen to my parents fail to communicate without getting loud and angry#like i feel so awful. i'm 22 and i still have to hide in my room and try not to cry. i can't live like this anymore.#and it feels so hopeless because what else can i do? fuck up my health even more by working more hours?#so i can afford renting a tiny place? when i'm already so unwell and struggling to take care of myself??#and i know i'm not at a place to cut my parents out of my life so i'd have to endure all the judgement they'll have about who i room with#and i know know know no matter who i room with there'll be judgement. because i can't even talk to friends casually without it lol#not to overshare on main but i was omw to work on friday and almost cried at the bus station#because i was thinking about how i never really had an adult in my life that really truly loved and nurtured me#like yeah i had teachers and later in my teens some community members that supported me and were positive influences with positive impacts#and as much as i am hurt by my parents they still very much cared for me and shaped me as a person. both for better and for worse.#and yeah be the adult that is there for yourself now and all that but.#i can never change the fact that there wasn't someone that was there. and i wish i could stop mourning but it's hard. it's so hard.#and one day it will get easier but for now i just have to endure it. i guess. hahaha. :)
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Had a really nice sleep, it was like 30 minutes sleep dreaming that I was going to the grand final, wake up, check bank balance hmm no I'm not, sleep for 30 minutes dreaming I got a ticket, wake up check bank balance yeah no sorry, sleep for 30 minutes RINSE AND REPEAT THE ENTIRE NIGHT
#i don't even care that much!!!!!#i don't need to go to some stupid combustible stadium with overpriced food and drink and climb 500 stairs to watch some silly sportsball#NO I DON'T CARE#also it's so expensive like please don't take $200 from me that's like four weeks of myki money#I'm so happy to be in the grand final that I'll watch the game anywhere#Collingwood always do a live site i think in 2018 it was $20 to watch at the AIA centre#with inflation it'll be a billion dollars but look it doesn't matter there are pubs there is home there is so many places to watch the game#i don't know why i have to depress myself waking up every 30 minutes to check my bank balance#also how is that depressing 'oh look i have money i can afford the next week's myki travel' THAT'S A GOOD THING#also grand finals are overrated#The record is $15#they show off the mark knight posters a day before the game and your mouth salivates and you're like I NEED ONE I'LL BUY IT AFTERWARDS#but then Maynard gets blocked and you're going home in tears on the train and you forget all about the poster and#and you just clutch your chemist warehouse cushion filled with random little goodies and cry for the next five weeks#in 2011 i didn't go - watched from home - and my mum came home with a chocolate footy and told me it was from Daisy#just cry and clutch Daisy's chocolate footy and cry and eat chocolate soaked with tears so it's all salty and#wait#no guys I'm fine#please don't make me go to therapy i don't have time i have to study for this CPA exam#i really am fine
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with the recent like self-analytical framework of [putting hand on own shoulder] "are you looking for the external validation of value in this which would never be guaranteed, and you don't even think it should be contingent on this anyways" it's like, that also speaks more to like "yeah i did really enjoy live performance / theatre-adjacent and -overlapping stuff"
like i have my sense of how much i loved things and none of that involves any memories of having enjoyed it b/c of any feedback i got, from peers or instructors or anything. memories of curtain calls don't stand out much. like fun Specific Feedback was a kind older (relative to me) performer with the central role telling me that my literal leaping onstage (dance performance. grande jete entrance) despite a technical difficulty that would have to be improvised around was Inspirational/Motivating lol. i stopped having any particular stage fright (although is that when you're onstage? more like, anxiety beforehand about messing up. being onstage was the easier, enjoyable part) thanks to just having to yolo through those technical difficulties lol....anyways and then that same show actually, some relative to me younger audience member's dad was like "she's your (role's) biggest fan" and we nervously take a pic together lol. these things were fun & standout but Not Even It; not at all like "this is what makes it all worth it" like this is largely beside the point but a fun little bonus outlier event or two
like there was also no "i loved it b/c of Being In A Cast" nor b/c of any particular like, hanging out having fun Social Element. i loved rehearsing, though. loved being backstage (or in green rooms, or dressing rooms) but not because of any particular company or goings on. loved waiting & practicing / warming up & getting things together like your own costuming & being summoned to backstage & whatall. loved all the technical elements of getting a show together, when things were being assembled / worked out, though i didn't get to have much of any active hand b/c i'm like this twelve year old just learning the part, but it was fun to witness. none of my sense of what contributed to having a great time entailed any particular praise or anything; there was some implicitness in how all at once i graduated from [ensemble performance, back row for tall people] to [roles with solos] and the like, but there was just like, being busy, doing things well enough that it just wasn't Impeding anything lol, and in other arenas where i might've gotten more comments about being like, an outlier per whatever measure of success, it was definitely like, it's all just [successfully avoided negative attention] and ofc people think good grades are good but i'm not particularly moved by the awareness that that in turn is what's good or impressive about me, or something. or that i have to have anything like that for [successfully avoided negative attention]
and i wouldn't have like, done a monologue to an empty room and been like wow magical. i'd do my thing for rehearsal, and then for an audience, but you can't really see the audience and you're like ten doing local ten year old recreational stuff so it's like, the curtain calls you don't remember much (by you i mean me) and then you're done, and for me it was the fun of just like Everything Before. no like classic memories montage of great times socializing, it was me sitting in the green room equivalent, me warming up in the hallway, enjoying being in an auditorium for like 7 hrs of rehearsal, etc, we didn't do any like social events like high school performance afterparties or anything; i wasn't like Friends w/even the occasional person i also knew from school, and that didn't matter or diminish things in the least. performing A Show and for whatever Audience and that abstract is completely good enough. any of my parents' involvement, unavoidable b/c i couldn't even get places without being driven, was a major downside; i didn't like any like post performance [congrats] from them b/c that stuff was just its own unconstructive Performance that you, by which i mean me, were required to be sufficiently like Oh Wow about when it's like, the focused attention from you here means i want to leave; being left all amongst other adults during rehearsals was the good shit, while it also wasn't the case i needed like support or hype from any of those adults either.
there was Some tradition of like, older students in some program who'd take a trip to nyc / do some performance or other, and that seemed exciting but it stopped existing before it could be relevant to me lol. also for the first like, show that was like "audition for parts" vs "class recitals" they gave us like a relevant keepsake for it, and that was a nice surprise, since i had a great experience and all. and one of my main [not dance, with lines and everything] experiences being this fourth grade english class scenes from julius caesar, auditioned again, i'm like hell yeah that this has to be nongendered b/c it's all a bunch of guys, so i play a guy, and an antagonist yippee who doesn't die midway through and sounds easy-peasy to be like [be the dictator assassin] lol. it's funny how already i Cared about like, wish we had Effects instead of awkward silence for the drama of that assassination. wish i like, knew fuckall about acting. but the teacher just focused on telling us all to talk louder b/c nobody could be individually mic'd, and in the end you really couldn't hear fuckall of other performances so that was a win. and we got to do it twice b/c some people's parents got stuck in traffic. all i remember of my parents' presence was being like "omg yes i get to stop being here talking to you b/c we get to do that Again hell yeah"
like it's social but in a Parallel way. i'm contributing my part, i know my role, you know yours, i'm fondly remembering sitting in some school lobby having mini muffins with hours to go before our performance, amongst other people but not at all hyped abt interactions with them or at all disappointed abt the absence of any. i enjoyed it all being in front of people, others involved in the show, or the audience, but i wasn't there for any specific feedback, just being Part of that group constructed experience there. truly this case of like....loved all of that exactly as it happened, was on my own shit, did not need any external validation, didn't need a specific kind of Socializing that's supposed to look like having individual interactions with personal friends, had this passion for it that i also was having a perfectly good time exploring on my own, whilest also enjoying working with / learning from whatever instruction i got. like sure wishing i knew fuckall about acting but that it turns out no not everyone necessarily all loves stage acting as The Peak like that, and this comfort and interest with it that comes from like, you have all the practice of Having to perform and mask and act in life against your supposed incorrect abnormalities, but here's this constructive and creative and expansive edition of that art and science. good enough for doing it all through like fourteen
#the like metanalysis i'm applying to the wynnstannery journey meanwhile....a multifaceted like Oh Yeah I See places hand on surface#tl;dr like yeah i would love to do theatre in w/e ways and i would truly enjoy my experience completely in its own right. b/c i Have....#stopped dance when i was fourteen coz knee hurty; gender hurty; parental involvement hurty; was going into college and was like will i even#have time for dance stuff? like yeah maybe but i didn't know it & figured i'd probably be forever busy & fail out anyways. took a break.#and that first year there was some delightful The Shakespearean Theater Just Down The Street also theatre adjacent class experiences#which was just More expansive & More evidence like yes i love all this shit a lotttt thanks#however at this juncture like; oh you Can audition for school theatre & even get there by yourself#didn't want family to know & come; didn't want to be alongside ppl who Did have all this high school experience and even if they didn't#were older so just probably at all better at shit lol. also my roommate had a lot of theatre interest & experience so i would've felt#awkward or out of place. like i do Not want to have to be really socially connected or like be criticized on some As Personal Acquaintances#supposed helpful basis lol. was sort of peripherally eventually [theatre doers] socially involved but eh#i had fun helping out with behind the scenes stuff Sometimes; or just hanging out in that arena#but i didn't make friends really & the true Downgrade was feeling like i was supposed to be / Had to be#one of those cases even when it's like ''yeah for some people they let you be around peripherally b/c you're the butt of the joke''#like yeah great lmfao This Isn't It....but then going off oneself to some pwyw shakespeare show where you don't know what's going on but#that's not even required to enjoy it and Live Theatre and hell yeah babey. the actors were all whole adults & professionals & kind#like for me the social aspect is [when you're In A Show there's more afforded ''you're allowed to be here''] lol & that's it.#i like being around people but i like being there ''by myself.'' i can enjoy spontaneous; fleeting interactions contained in that moment#i don't need or even want those to Lead To Something That ''Actually Matters'' like an ongoing personal friendship or w/e#i enjoy those interactions in their own right; interacting in the capacity of both doing Show Tasks in their own right#i enjoy being in these Performances and Rehearsals in their own right & All The Enjoyment Was Already There.#i never needed or particularly looked for Especial Feedback from any sources. there needed to be an audience but that presence Was It.#i was engaged & enriched & interested in my own right. all very clear and clearly Genuine#vs whatever i was recognized as especially Good At or what i would just kind of do / was supposed to do but it's like; eh#or just otherwise like yeah i like some of this; but not nearly as much; &/or there clearly aren't ways to engage w/it in ways that i#actually want to or enjoy. i loved having a part but never needed it to be like Solo or the Main part. when i was doing & had done the#performing in rehearsals or shows like That Was It; that was what was fun. didn't anticipate or need the least Especial Feedback#just knowing like yeah that's the good shit. this is a real Passion that i enjoyed w/o ever needing anything ''more'' / external validation#wahoo....and the inherent value & relevance in just Knowing of that fact lol. wasn't always clear to me like yeah we all love that shit#in just the way that i did; right. like lol maybe not exactly and not always; actually.
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This, but also
Water
How much water do you think it takes to turn desert into lawn
It takes A Lot
I'm not saying that if we shut down every golf course in drought ridden areas it would solve the drought, bc there are lots of ways water is being wasted (primarily for Rich People Reasons) but it would help significantly
Also, those pretty uniform green lawns? Think about how much herbicide/pesticide it takes to maintain that uniformity.
I'm not saying it's bad to have green spaces, but if we focused more on designing them around the natural environment of a location instead of this eurocentric ideal embodied by golf courses, it would be an improvement for both native species and the education of people using those spaces.
(there was a guy who was at my college, not the same degree path, but had to take a bio class for his major requirements when I was a lab assistant and when the professor was talking about desert ecosystems this mfer asked 'if cactuses take up so much water, why don't we cut them down?' I don't remember her response bc I blue screened so hard)
Plus, it would be funny to watch rich white dudes have to get their golf balls out of a patch of cactus. I know they'd avoid it if all possible, and idk golf rules, but I'm pretty sure there's one where if you hit it into the rough or whatever you have to hit it back out.
#look#i dont like a lot of sports for various reasons#but as someone who lives in a drought ridden desert i really hate golf#like why tf we have so many mosquitoes?#well there has to be this little lake in every golf course in every community thats a 'nice place to live' ie no ones making less than 100k#in some places people literally have to tank water in bc they cant connect to city water and the water table is too low for a well#by and large people that can afford it bc its fancy houses on big lots but still#wells are going dry too#theyre finding bodies dumped in lake Mead in Nevada bc the water level is so low#just theres some things that make sense to do when you live in a desert#and some that make trying to turn Antarctica into farmland look like a great idea
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A piece about survivors guilt.
This comic isn't perfect. I started it back in October 2023, and every time I picked up my pen, I wept.
I bring this to you today, on 9/11, in hopes that you reflect on this day a little differently than how most Americans would. Let it move you to continue to boycott, protest and challenge your family, friends and colleagues. You have a bigger impact than you would believe.
Thank you for reading this with an open heart.
From the river to the sea...
I'd like to bring to attention the fact that the figures depicted above are a gross undercount of the actual number of deaths. I scoured the internet high and low to source my findings and not a single one could break down the devastation that befell an individual ethnicity. Instead, they lumped a bunch of ethnicities together, provided a general timeline, and called it a day, reinforcing the sheer scale of dehumanization propagated in the west. The only consistency between all the articles I looked up was the 4.5 to 4.7 million figure I've included above, and even then, they were all published by western media news outlets... the very same that have been so unreliable and complicit in the genocide of Palestinians today. So I have to take everything they say with a grain of salt.
We are not just numbers.
All of us have ambitions and desires and lives worth living.
With that said, this is your friendly reminder to:
Donate an e-sim
Donate to PCRF to provide Palestinian children aid
Donate to Pious Projects to provide woman with feminine hygiene kits
Donate to CareForGaza to provide food to displaced families in Gaza either through their Gofundme or their paypal
Donate to any of the vetted gofundme campaigns on GazaFunds to help Palestinians trying to flee Gaza.
And if you or someone you know sees or experiences a hate crime and can afford it, SUE. This is a more effective use of your money than most realise. The reason zionists act with impunity is because of the normalization of white supremacy and oppression of ethnic minorities. Challenging that in any capacity tells them that there are consequences to their actions and makes them think twice before engaging in hate crimes and helps raise all of us up against the systems currently in place that let them get away with it.
If you can't donate or spend any money, you can:
Do your daily clicks.
Boycott targeted companies on the BDS list (if you're like me and you don't want a single dollar to go towards anything supporting Israel right now, you can use Bdnaash to double check what products are okay to buy, but the BDS list is sufficient as it is a strategic attack and proven very effective thus far)
Flood your representatives emails and voicemails with how you won't be voting for them unless their politics align with an immediate ceasefire in Gaza.
Attend a protest, be LOUD.
Challenge your circle of friends, family and colleagues with conversations about Palestine. (THIS IS THE MOST UNDERRATED AND MOST EFFECTIVE THING YOU CAN DO)
and if you're really up to, be disruptive in any capacity that you can think of towards major corporations benefiting from this onslaught. (i.e. halting military manufacturers from production + shipments, sticking boycott stickers on products at your market etc)
And finally, if your country wasn't mentioned in the above excerpt, it was no deliberate omission on my part and I encourage you to come forward and tell your story about the suffering of your people so that this may be a learning opportunity for everyone.
You are seen.
You are not alone.
Thank you again if you've read this far.
From the river to the sea...
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couples have it so fucking good. only having to rent a one bedroom apartment and still being comfortable? fuck off
#I KNOW getting a one bedroom with a roommate and sharing the bedroom is more cost efficient but I’ve DONE that before and I HATE it#like it is legit NOT sustainable for me I need a private space or my brain stops working and I want to claw everyone to death#but two bedroom apartments are so stupidly expensive like the price jumps So drastically#man I just wanna live downtown/near downtown why is that so hard#my friend and I might be eligible for affordable housing so I’m really really hoping that helps cause there’s some good places that Would#be affordable in that prime area IF we can get that eligibility#considering our combined income is like. 30K. I’d fucking hope so#it’s exhausting#kibumblabs
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I really hate feeling irrational and upset over food. One of the worst things to be upset about. It feels SO fucking stupid.
#txt#texas roadhouse fucked up my food apparently so I get fries and bread. and it's my fault bc i wasn't there to order it myself#(she didn't really word it that way but that's how it felt. like she was saying it's my fault. but im on new meds so i was literally asleep#+the entire time they would've been eating pretty much; i cant control when the side effects decide they want to kick in?)#anyway it's not exclusively this that I'm upset about anyway. like at least i still get a little somethin else yk?#but the other day my roommate came back with his fucking boyfriend from olive garden (genuinely one of my favorite places ngl) and they're+#+like ''oh we didn't know what to get you so we just got you breadsticks'' like. what the fuck. i mean i do like breadsticks but are you +#+fucking with me right now? if money is a problem just say you couldn't afford anything extra. Don't fucking pull that shit#we literally live in the era of smart phones. you can fucking text me. and one of the things i really fucking enjoy at olive garden? +#+LITERALLY JUST THE FUCKING SALAD. THE HOUSE SALAD. THAT THEY GIVE YOU. I am that easy to appease and you bring me. bread.#i love bread. but do you think this is all i subsist on??? it's genuinely so insulting and hurtful and I feel so fucking stupid for feeling#+that way#LITERALLY as i was typing this my sister text me again to be like ''sorry that came off wrong'' this does lick the wound#update we are now sitting here going back and forth trying to figure out how they even got it wrong to begin with 😭 im gonna be real with+#+you I'd bet actual money it was on purpose so they could push the order out quicker. bc what i wanted was their tatter skins and those +#+take more effort and time I'd wager. she said they were busy so I wouldn't be surprised
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man i have been trying so hard not to panic but last night i was talking with my mom and she was like “yeah hopefully in a year from now, we’ll have moved back to live near family” and like. i knew that was their eventual goal but i didn’t realize it would be that soon. and i was trying to be happy for them but i hate that all i can think about now is “oh god where am i going to live” like i was Already stressing about this anyway but now it’s got a hard time limit
#like. i do not want to pick up my whole life and move#i don’t have many friends and so i don’t want to lose then ones i have#and i also don’t want to keep tagging at my family’s heels like a dog#but i also. cannot find a place i can afford where i am now so i may have no choice#ik i said that shit about trailers and condos being more affordable but i’ve actually been looking into it and it’s like#$700 lot rent. HOA fees anywhere from $300-$600. ON TOP of whatever mortgage you would have#so even emptying out my savings to make a down payment (and putting to bed any idea i had of going back to school) wouldn’t be enough#that or. once again picking up and moving to a different state because an internet friend keeps joking we should live together#i’ve even browsed facebook marketplace bc i hear that’s how you find roommates and it’s shit like#‘an 8x10 room for $800/month. no pets no smoking prefer female college students’ and i’m like hooo boy that person is fishing#i am. really starting to regret taking in these cats tbh. i might have to start thinking about finding them a better home#fuckkkkkkkkkk i can’t cry i’m at work lmao
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I found an extremely dope disability survival guide for those who are homebound, bedbound, in need of disability accommodations, or would otherwise like resources for how to manage your life as a disabled person. (Link is safe)
It has some great articles and resources and while written by people with ME/CFS, it keeps all disabilities in mind. A lot of it is specific to the USA but even if you're from somewhere else, there are many guides that can still help you. Some really good ones are:
How to live a great disabled life- A guide full of resources to make your life easier and probably the best place to start (including links to some of the below resources). Everything from applying for good quality affordable housing to getting free transportation, affordable medication, how to get enough food stamps, how to get a free phone that doesn't suck, how to find housemates and caregivers, how to be homebound, support groups and Facebook pages (including for specific illnesses), how to help with social change from home, and so many more.
Turning a "no" into a "yes"- A guide on what to say when denied for disability aid/accommodations of many types, particularly over the phone. "Never take no for an answer over the phone. If you have not been turned down in writing, you have not been turned down. Period."
How to be poor in America- A very expansive and helpful guide including things from a directory to find your nearest food bank to resources for getting free home modifications, how to get cheap or free eye and dental care, extremely cheap internet, and financial assistance with vet bills
How to be homebound- This is pretty helpful even if you're not homebound. It includes guides on how to save spoons, getting free and low cost transportation, disability resources in your area, home meals, how to have fun/keep busy while in bed, and a severe bedbound activity master list which includes a link to an audio version of the list on Soundcloud
Master List of Disability Accommodation Letters For Housing- Guides on how to request accommodations and housing as well as your rights, laws, and prewritten sample letters to help you get whatever you need. Includes information on how to request additional bedrooms, stop evictions, request meetings via phone, mail, and email if you can't in person, what you can do if a request is denied, and many other helpful guides
Special Laws to Help Domestic Violence Survivors (Vouchers & Low Income Housing)- Protections, laws, and housing rights for survivors of DV (any gender), and how to get support and protection under the VAWA laws to help you and/or loved ones receive housing and assistance
Dealing With Debt & Disability- Information to assist with debt including student loans, medical debt, how to deal with debt collectors as well as an article with a step by step guide that helped the author cut her overwhelming medical bills by 80%!
There are so many more articles, guides, and tools here that have helped a lot of people. And there are a lot of rights, resources, and protections that people don't know they have and guides that can help you manage your life as a disabled person regardless of income, energy levels, and other factors.
Please boost!
#signal boost#please reblog#I'm so so glad this has gotten the traction that it has!#chronic pain#chronic illness#disability#fibromyalgia#cfs#chronic fаtiguе ѕуndrоmе#actually disabled#spoonie#me/cfs#cfs/me#long covid#important#invisible disability#ehlers danlos syndrome#lyme disease#chronically ill#cpunk#cripplepunk#it's a bummer that it's so US centric but if you're outside of the US you can look into similar programs#I hope that other countries have options like these#the US seems so behind when it comes to medical care and disability resources. and i mean it is#but it's good to know all of your rights as a disabled person or if you ever become disabled
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Even just half-heartedly looking for work as someone who is legally blind, autistic, with no highschool diploma, GED, or degrees and who can't leave the house is a very specific kind of let-down and disappointment that just really makes a person depressed.
#irl#vent#suicidal ideation#i am a money sink and a financial burden and trying to look for ways to fix that turns up nothing!!!#society abandons those who cannot work!!! and i sure do seem to be unemployable!!!#like#i would need a work from home job that doesnt require a highschool diploma ged or a degree that i can do as someone who is legally blind#at the LEAST#even just being a cashier at pet smart requires a fucking highschool diploma!!! and i cant even do that sort of work anymore!!!#i dont have any fancy little talents or areas of expertise either!!! i cant code i suck at source work i cant do graphic design!!!#what am i supposed to do#can someone just like put me down like a sick animal or smth at this point#because i feel like all i amount to at this point is a burdensome and childish good for nothing waste of space#and an additional source of stress and disappointment for everyone who has ever cared about me or had hopes for my future#sincerely feel like everyone who knows me would be better off if i were dead#no one would have to take care of me then - theyd be free of any burden i put on them#hell considering how few people i talk to and how little o do talk to ones i DO talk to they probably wouldnt even notice i were gone#and once they did they probably wouldnt be upset for long at all if they would be upset to begin with#my partner would be free to find a smaller more affordable place to live or could even get a car and live in it as he thought of doing#before if i werent around being a little needy whiny bitch#seriously whats even the fucking point#im so tired of just...fucking everything.#i dont talk about it much but i really do just feel like shit all the fucking time man#and i feel so fucking powerless and like i have no control of my life too#should probably be in therapy still but i just know theyd force me into the psych ward again#not that talk therapy would do shit for me anyways tho#i dunno#im tired and sad and hopeless and i just wanna go to sleep and not wake up again#not that it matters or anything though lololol
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