#so i hope i can learn to get there that would be awesome

[lisupandowntown]

When Drew's Away, Jeremiah Will . . . Get Indigestion

A/N: So this is a beast of a fic. And it went in a different direction than I intended. I played with cutting it in two but finally decided to just go for it and post. There is a lot of adjacent emeto in the first half and then actual emeto in the second. There is also a death - not an OC - and it happens "off screen" but it's there and in a hospital. We will see the fallout of some of the action here, but not immediately. Also, @writing-whump wanted to see Adam a little softer, so here's some of that. We're going to be hints of more later on.

“You look tired, sweetheart; I hope you’re not working too hard with me away.” Drew peered critically through the phone screen, frowning at the bags under his boyfriend’s eyes.  His hand fluttered by his side for a second, as if he was trying to reach out and touch the man. “I’d think you’d sleep well without me there, snoring in your ear.”  

“Your snoring lulls me to sleep,” assured Jeremiah. “Much more relaxing than trying to catch a nap in the resident’s lounge.”  Now he was the one examining his boyfriend’s face.  “But how are things there?  I imagine your dad is happy to be home.  His discharge numbers looked excellent.”  And now that things are stable you can come back to Boston.  If it had been a long week for Jeremiah, it must have been doubly tiring for Drew. He hadn’t said anything about it yet, but Jeremiah knew it was coming.

“He wants to know when he can get back to the Club, if you can believe it.”  Drew gave a lighthearted chuckle. “I told him I’d take him in a couple of days, but only to sit in the clubhouse.  There’s no way I’m letting him on the golf course in this heat.”  Drew’s voice grew muffled for a second and when his face appeared again he was holding an oversized muffin Jeremiah recognized as coming from Drew’s favorite childhood bakery.  “We took a walk at 6:30 this morning - he managed two full loops of the neighborhood before I made him come inside and rest.”  He took an enormous bite of the muffin and whined with appreciation.  “God, I love Sweetie B’s.  We’ll go out again close to sunset. And I’ll fill the car with gas.”

Jeremiah smiled indulgently at his boyfriend’s stream of consciousness chatter. It had been a long week at the hospital - made longer by the fact that he’d been following Drew’s father’s progress as well, and talking to Drew about it every night. Jeremiah hadn’t been the least bit surprised to learn that Drew had befriended the entire nursing staff in the ICU and was getting his father all sorts of extra attention. And the man was absolutely eating it up. Jeremiah assumed it must be getting stressful; Drew’s relationship with his father had been prickly and strained ever since the day Drew had come out at sixteen.  There had been a fight when he informed his parents that no, he would not be escorting Lucy Wells to the country club cotillion the following month and no, he would not be joining his father’s investment brokerage after college. Drew had agonized about going home to help with his father’s recovery, but ultimately knew he couldn’t avoid it. 

“It must be annoying to have to drive so much again; Atlanta traffic still horrible?”  Watching Drew devour the muffin reminded Jeremiah that he’d skipped lunch, and he carried the phone with him while he rifled through the fridge, looking for something to eat.

“Actually it’s been fine. Just back and forth to the hospital and now chauffeuring my dad around. He’s letting me drive the Jag, so that’s been kind of awesome. Oh, and I visited Mallory and Davis and the baby; they loved the outfit Noa picked out.  Good call on getting her to help.”

Jeremiah tried to hide his surprise.  “I thought you said his car was a ‘pretentious gas-guzzler.’” The refrigerator was disappointingly empty and he tried to remember the last time he’d gone to the market.  Not since Drew left, at least, and that had been a week ago. 

“That was before I got to drive it,” Drew laughed.  “It moves like it’s on air; and the sound system . . . -” he gave an appreciative huff. “- my dad even let me put on the Broadway station!”  

“Oh.  That’s really . . . great, hon.  I thought your father hated musicals.” He didn’t want to be a downer, but Jeremiah wondered how much of Drew’s enthusiasm was sustainable. It sounded like Dean Thorton was still enjoying the flush of having not died from his heart attack, and his good mood had even spilled over to his treatment of his son.  But Jeremiah himself knew what it was like to be drawn in by the man’s attention - and then dropped just as quickly. Drew had always been particularly cynical about his father’s intentions, and it was a bit disconcerting to see him embracing it now. 

“He changed his mind,” Drew said lightly.  He leaned forward so his face filled up most of the phone screen.  “But tell me about work; you’d mentioned a new patient?”

Jeremiah gave up fretting about Drew’s sudden affection for his father.  When the relationship went south again, as Jeremiah knew it inevitably would, he’d be here to help his boyfriend pick up the pieces. Meanwhile, there was a frozen pizza in the freezer, and a package of mozzarella sticks Jeremiah didn’t remember them buying. He dumped them both on a baking sheet and cranked up the oven while he told Drew about Toby.

“He’s 18, almost 19, so there was some discussion about whether to keep him with Peds or have adult cardiology take his case, and I won.”  The truth was, as soon as Jeremiah had met the young man, he’d wanted him as a patient. Toby was supposed to start a six-year medical school program in the fall - the same one Jeremiah had attended. And he was on a scholarship too. He was determined to make it there and Jeremiah was determined to help him. 

“Viral infection that went to his heart,” he explained.  It was a rare and serious complication of some illnesses.  “Treating him with everything we’ve got and hoping the damage isn’t permanent.”  It would mean a heart transplant if it was, and Jeremiah wanted to avoid that outcome at all costs.  

“Mmhmmm, well I’m sure you’ll handle it.  What?  Oh sure, let me get my shoes; I’ll let you tell me about your hole in one again.”  

It took Jeremiah a second to realize that Drew wasn’t talking to him anymore and that he was looking at an image of the ceiling of the Thorton’s kitchen.  Then Drew’s face appeared again.  “Sorry about that,” he said.  My dad’s ready for another walk.”  He reached towards Jeremiah as if trying to touch him through the phone.  “You’ll tell me later about Teddy, okay?  I want to hear.”  

“Toby,” Jeremiah corrected.  “Yeah, sounds good.”  He didn’t mention that later he’d probably be back at the hospital.  This was Drew’s time to help his father, he reminded himself.  Regardless of what Jeremiah might think, he wasn’t going to be the one to interfere - or later say I told you so.  Still, as he said goodbye and disconnected the call, Jeremiah couldn’t help but feel a little irrational hurt. Which was stupid; it was a good thing that Drew was getting along with his father, since he had to spend so much time with him.  Just because Jeremiah’s relationship with his own was irrevocably fractured didn’t mean that Drew’s had to be too.  

Maybe he was just hungry.

The pizza and cheese sticks were probably too much for one person, but Jeremiah didn’t think much about that as he ate while he went through Toby’s treatment notes on his iPad.  His cardiac function had deteriorated, and it wasn’t clear why.  He started texting with the attending cardiologist and half an hour later decided to go back to the hospital to examine the young man  in person. When he went to put the rest of the pizza and mozzarella sticks away he was surprised to find an empty plate and feel indigestion blooming in his chest. But that was par for the course for a third-year resident; surviving on Pepto and little sleep was the way to learn the most and get the best cases. So Jeremiah took a quick slug of the pink liquid and drove back to the hospital to see his patient. 

**** 

Three days later Jeremiah’s daily upset belly was just an annoyance to ignore at work - and when he FaceTimed Drew from the hospital. They’d been apart for ten days now and he drummed his fingers impatiently on the table in the resident’s lounge while he waited for the call to connect.  

“Hi love; is everything okay?”  Drew’s head was framed in sunlight like a halo and Jeremiah had to squint to see his face.  

“Fine here; weren’t we going to talk at five?” Jeremiah was certain of the time they’d agreed because at 6 he was going to observe Toby’s next cardiac function test.  

“Ohhh, you’re right; I lost track of the time.  Look who I’m hanging out with!” Drew tilted the phone so Jeremiah could see his lap, and the toothless baby sitting on it.  “Say hi to Uncle Jeremiah, Tripp!”  Drew took the child’s fat little hand and made it wave at the screen.  The baby shrieked with delight. Drew giggled back and made the boy’s hands wave some more.  

“You seem to have a fan,” commented Jeremiah, rubbing his stomach to work out a cramp.  Even though he’d been looking forward to having Drew to himself for their talk he had to admit it was cute to watch him fawn over his nephew.  “Are you babysitting?”  

Drew kissed Tripp’s head and inhaled deeply before grinning back at Jeremiah.  “They should bottle that smell,  Seriously.  And no; they came over for dinner.  We’re all working on heart healthy recipes so my dad has plenty of options.  Tonight I broiled fish with a lemon herb marinade like you taught me.  He loved it, and tomorrow we’re going to try chicken with Chinese spices.”  

“That. . . that sounds great.”  Jeremiah stifled a burp. He’d been existing on take out and frozen dinners in between extra shifts at the hospital for almost a week now and it was definitely starting to catch up with him, no matter how much he tried to deny it.  Indeed, the urge to burp came right back, and this time he didn’t bother to swallow it down.  It might be perverse, but at the moment Jeremiah wasn’t above playing up his belly ache for a little long distance attention from his boyfriend.  “Oof,” he complained, rubbing at his chest.  

Except that Tripp took that moment to grab Drew’s face, shoving his fingers into the nurse’s mouth and pulling off his glasses with the other hand.  Jeremiah’s belch went unnoticed while Drew laughed and bounced the boy on his lap.  “Oh, you’re going to be a troublemaker, aren’t you?  A little trickster, no, a Trippster!” Drew finally looked back at the phone, seeking approval of his joke.  “Don’t you think so?” he asked Jeremiah.  “A ‘Trippster!’” 

Jeremiah forced a smile onto his face.  He was starting to feel a touch queasy, and was glad he’d get to go home after Toby’s test.  Twelve hours of sleep would do wonders.  And more Pepto.

“That’s . . . uURP! . . . cute,” he gasped through another burp. It tasted like the onions from the hotdog he’d gulped down before getting on the call - the fastest thing to eat he’d been able to find in the cafeteria. This time Drew heard, and raised his eyebrows. 

“You’ve got indigestion,” he accused.  “I can tell by the sound of your burp.  They’re different when you have a virus.” He leaned into the phone, expression softening. “It’s been that busy, hasn’t it?”

Jeremiah felt a beat of warmth in his chest that for once had nothing to do with his crappy diet. “Can’t hide anything from . . . you,” he croaked through another hiccup.  “Hospital hotdogs might have . . . ugh . . . been a mistake tonight.”  He rubbed at his chest, trying to work up a better burp.  It was getting close to six; he was going to have to leave soon and he felt like he’d barely had time with Drew.  And his stomach felt like hell. He’d been counting on his boyfriend to ease his mind but instead he felt anxious and out of sorts.  Definitely not the right attitude to go be a doctor.  But Drew seemed oblivious to Jeremiah’s emotional distress.

“Those hotdogs are always a mistake,” he laughed.  “No wonder you look all sweaty.”  His expression grew calculating. “You’re not nauseous, are you?  Have you taken Pepto?” 

“No,” Jeremiah lied.  “And yes.  Took some earlier.”  That was the truth, although he’d taken so much of the medicine lately that it had pretty much stopped working. “After I observe Toby’s cardiac function test I’ll go home and get some sleep.”  

“Keep me posted on how it goes,” Drew told him, although his attention seemed to be back on his nephew again. “In the meantime, I think this one needs a new diaper.”  He grinned suddenly into the camera. “I think I’ve changed him more this weekend than Davis has since he was born.  Apparently, men in his family ‘don’t do diapers.’”  He rolled his eyes.  “How Mallory puts up with that I’ll never understand.”

Jeremiah did understand, quite well. “Oh . . . come on,” he scoffed, fighting the need to burp again. “How many diapers do you think your own dad changed?”  Privately he wondered about Drew’s mother too, but the sudden scowl on Drew’s face made him bite back the comment.  

“Times were different then,” he said mulishly.  “He was working a lot.”  

This was the first time Jeremiah had ever heard Drew defend his father’s behavior so blatantly.  Until now the story Drew told was of a father who became more and more absent as Drew grew up and made it quite clear that he had no interest in peewee football, or golf . . . or girls. Now this revisionist history made Jeremiah’s stomach clench with an odd sort of nausea.  

Or maybe it was just the hotdogs.  

“I’ve got to go,” he said thickly. His mouth was coated with the gross, greasy flavor of boiled hotdogs, but there was no time to get something to drink.  He was already late, and so his goodbye to Drew was rushed and stilted and he jogged down the hallway swallowing down the burps that kept coming up with every bouncing step. 

Toby looked a little better than when Jeremiah had seen him just that morning, and his eyes lit up at the sight of the young doctor.  “About time, doc,” he croaked weakly, reaching out a shaking fist to bump with Jeremiah’s.  “Let’s get this party started.” He peered at Jeremiah’s face. “You look almost as tired as I am,” he accused.  

Jeremiah forced a laugh. “When you’re a doctor you’ll do it better than me,” he promised with a grin. “Although running late . . . and just running - ahem - is pretty much a requirement.” He cleared his throat but it didn’t really help with the queasiness pooling there.  If Drew had been around he’d have sent Jeremiah right to the bathroom to belch properly.  Or vomit up the offending food, even.  But Drew was in Atlanta nursing his father and spoiling his nephew, so Jeremiah gulped down his nausea and focused on the numbers crossing the monitors above Toby’s head.  Maybe he’d joke with him later about how constant indigestion was something else he’d have to learn about when he started medical school.

Toby’s numbers showed some improvement, and Jeremiah left the hospital a couple hours later feeling more relaxed and less queasy.  He even decided to stop at the market to get some real groceries, and got drawn in by Whole Foods prepared meals section and a chicken piccata dish.  Mashed potatoes and green beans also made it into his basket, and Jeremiah was actually hungry again by the time he got home.  Or maybe the thought of something not fried or overprocessed was just too appealing.  He ate standing up in the kitchen, sending Drew a text about how Toby’s test had gone with one hand while he shoved spoonfuls of potatoes into his mouth with the other. 

Drew hadn’t texted back by the time Jeremiah was ready for bed and he had to resist the urge to open up FaceTime.  Thoughts of his boyfriend sitting at the country club in a proper collared shirt, smiling and talking with his parents and their friends made him feel unaccountably sad.  It wasn’t that Jeremiah wished he was there too; he wanted Drew home, away from the people he was certain did not have their son’s best interests at heart.

But now he was exhausted.  Toby was stable and Jeremiah’s stomach seemed to be in check for once, so he climbed into bed and wrapped himself around Drew’s pillow.  After ten days it didn’t really smell like the nurse anymore, but it was better than nothing.

When his phone dinged with a text later, Jeremiah jerked awake, thinking that Drew was finally calling him back.  But the glowing numbers said 2:33 am, not 11 or 12 like he expected.  And the message - from Toby’s attending cardiologist - was dire. 

It was after 8 am when Jeremiah finally stumbled home.  There were finally texts from Drew on the phone in his hand but he couldn’t bring himself to respond to his boyfriend’s cheerful messages from the night before: 

So sorry I missed you; the Club’s dining room has a “no phones” policy.  But yay about Toby’s cardiac function!  You’ll get that kid to medical school yet!

OMG Tripp tried some of the Club’s baked mac and cheese and now he’s obsessed!  It’s the absolute cutest thing to watch him eat!

Hope you had a good sleep, love.  Bringing my dad back to the Club - they’re letting him walk two fairways at 6 am for exercise.  He’s bugging me to let him swing a club but I told him he needed to listen to his cardiologist and wait another week.  Love you!

Damn, I forgot how pretty and peaceful the Club is so early in the morning.  No one else here lol!

The phone dinged again as the Uber turned onto his and Drew’s street but he couldn’t even bring himself to look.  Just the thought of reading about “the Club” one more time made bile rise in his throat.  And uncharitable thoughts about the unfairness of Drew’s father surviving his heart attack when Toby had not just made the sense of being off-balance even worse. 

If Drew had been there, actually home, in Boston, it would have been different.  If Drew had been in Boston he’d have looked at Jeremiah’s face and known what to. . . but that didn’t matter.  Because Drew wasn’t home, and Jeremiah couldn’t figure out what words to text even if he’d been able to make his numb fingers work and his stomach stop churning enough to focus on the screen. All he could see, whether his eyes were open or closed, was Toby’s face, pale and slack and still.  Just two days earlier, Jeremiah had brought him a Duke University pennant for his hospital room - as hope that felt like a promise.  It was hanging above his bed until after, when Toby’s mother had taken it down and care folded it up before hugging Jeremiah and thanking him for taking such good care of her son. 

That was the first time he’d almost vomited.  

He’d been nauseous ever since but that was okay; it felt fair, that he was sick, even though it wasn’t remotely the same.  But feeling good and strong and healthy would have been worse. 

He had to figure out how to tell Drew - to find a time he wasn’t at the Club or driving his father or something. The nurse would probably  want to come home, and Jeremiah was going to let him.  Sure, he’d make a token objection first, but in the end, he wanted his boyfriend, dammit.

Instead, at that moment, he had Adam.  Jeremiah squinted up the pathway to his and Drew’s cottage trying to figure out if he was hallucinating, because why would Adam Calder be sitting on his front stoop at 8 am on a Saturday morning?  Or was it Sunday?  Jeremiah’s brain was too muddled to puzzle it out.

“Damn, Miah.  I’d ask if you’d forgotten about our breakfast but the answer is all over your face.  You look like hell.”  Adam stood up and peered critically at him.  “Are you sick?”

Yes. No.  For anyone else, Jeremiah would have softened his delivery, but subtlety was generally a waste of time with Adam.  “I lost a patient,” he said curtly, pushing past the other man to unlock the door.  There was bright sunlight streaming in through the back windows and Jeremiah marched over and roughly pulled the drapes closed.  If only he could shut off his brain as easily as the light.

There was a sudden, heavy hand on his shoulder.  “Damn, I’m so sorry, Miah.  Was it unexpected?”

This felt all wrong.  Jeremiah should be telling Drew, who wouldn’t have had to ask questions, who would understand immediately the medical terms Jeremiah used and their significance. He would have understood what Jeremiah was feeling, even if Jeremiah himself didn’t know. He started to nod, and then shook his head.

“It . . .” he began, and then gulped down past the thickness in his throat. He tried again, each word feeling like a weight he couldn’t hold another second.  “He umm . . . Toby.  His name is . . .was . . .” Jeremiah sucked in a breath as a fresh wall of pain and realization hit.  He couldn’t do this now. His eyes prickled and he swiped angrily at them - crying over a patient was fucking unprofessional, no matter what Drew said. And Jeremiah wasn’t about to start now, without Drew here. Adam’s hand was still on his shoulder and he shrugged it off.

“I’m fine,” he said roughly, even as his stomach clenched and rolled.  Another wave of wrongness washed over him then.  He gagged, the effort nearly bending him in half.  Nausea surged.  

“Yeah, I don’t believe you.” Adam’s hand was back on his arm but this time it was steering him down the hallway.  “Try not to puke yet, okay?”  

Jeremiah let himself be propelled towards his and Drew’s bedroom because it was easier than trying to think for himself.  “I’m not going to . . .” His answer was interrupted by another gag and he bit the inside of his cheek to try to control his body.  Crying over a patient, maybe, but getting sick over one?  Unacceptable.  Toby would have given him such a hard time for that, and that thought broke something inside. Jeremiah gasped out a sob, tripping over his steps and trying to breathe past the weight in his chest.  

“Here, talk to Drew.”  Adam thrust a phone in Jeremiah’s face. “He’ll be a lot better at this than I am anyway.” Adam’s words were brisk but his movements surprisingly gentle as he guided Jeremiah over to his bed and sat him down.  A second later the FaceTime connected and Drew’s concerned face appeared. 

“Jer? What happened? Why is Adam . . . oh.  Oh, sweetheart.”  The tone in Drew’s voice was all Jeremiah needed.  He gave a stiff nod.  

“This . . . this morning,” he choked out.  “Coded. . . Toby. . . I . . . I . . .” He gulped down, unable to say anything more. 

“Shhh,” Drew soothed. “I know. I know.  You don’t have to explain.”

But Jeremiah did, because Toby reminded him too much of himself, and the young man he’d been eight years ago. Smart, driven, poor. Fatherless. Determined to become a doctor. And now he wasn’t going to get that chance and Jeremiah couldn't stand that thought. He shook his head and took deep breaths to try to slow the way his own heart was pounding in his throat.  

“T-t-toby,” he stuttered.  “He said . . . he . . . uUlLP . . .” Jeremiah couldn’t bite back the next gag.  Through the phone Drew made another soothing sound, telling him not to talk, but Jeremiah shook his head.  

“Let me talk to Adam then,” Drew commanded, and then suddenly the phone he was holding was gone and Adam was talking to Drew instead and Jeremiah just felt sick.  Dimly, he heard a conversation that didn’t really register: pretty upset . . . yeah this morning. . . I don’t think so, at least not here - he gagged a bunch though . . . I’ll do my best, but I know he’d rather have . . . wait, now?  Okay yeah, but honestly, I really think you should think about . . . oh shit, he just got really pale . . .   

“Okay, Drew said to take you to the bathroom because you’re definitely going to puke.” Adam tugged on Jeremiah’s arm.  “And I agree, so come on.”  

“Where’s Drew?” Jeremiah burped into the toilet.  This was so stupid.  If he was going to get sick over losing a patient, he wanted his boyfriend there.  Even on FaceTime.

“He uhh . . . he had to go.”  For once Adam sounded like he was at a loss for words.  “Something about his father and a doctor’s appointment I think?”  He settled himself down on the floor next to Jeremiah.  “I guess Drew had to drive him or something.” 

There was something thick and bitter in Jeremiah’s mouth.  “Yeah,” he said sourly, spitting.  “Of course.” He squeezed his eyes shut.  “Did he . . .” he began, and then shook his head.  “Forget it.”  Because vomiting in front of Adam Calder was one thing, but admitting anything about his boyfriend was absolutely not going to happen. He started panting over the bowl. Maybe in another situation he’d have been able to calm his stomach down, but not now. No fucking way. 

He’d forgotten how observant the man was though. “I told him I thought he should come back home,” Adam commented before leaning forward to rub Jeremiah’s back. “I mean, it was important for him to be there for his dad and all, but isn’t he a lot better now?”  He thumped Jeremiah’s back for emphasis and a bubble of air jumped into Jeremiah’ chest. “And more importantly, I thought he was kind of an ass to Drew in the past.” 

“He was,” agreed Jeremiah.  He pressed his belly against the side of the toilet to force out the burp.  “And I have a feeling he will be again.  But Drew . . . “ a surge of nausea cut off his words.  He hovered another second until his stomach spasmed and spit up a mouthful of puke.  Adam gave an impatient huff.

“But Drew is finally able to do something his father approves of,” he finished.  “That’s a hard thing for a kid to walk away from.”

Jeremiah paused to see if he was about to retch again.  When he didn’t immediately throw up, he shook his head. “Drew’s . . . Drew’s not a kid. And he knows better.” His stomach still felt so full and queasy; he wished the vomiting would go faster so he could just get in bed.  Adam shook his head.

“He’s a kid in all the ways that matter here,” he disagreed. “I get why it’s hard to turn away from his dad right now, even if it’s not healthy.  Here, lean forward and try to force up a burp or something.  Let’s get this puke party started, okay?”  

That was too close to what Toby had said to Jeremiah, the last time they’d talked.  He found he didn’t need to force himself to belch because all of a sudden his dinner was in his throat. And then he was finally bringing it all up in two powerful gushes.  

“Oh . . . fuck,” he gasped, burping up stomach acid that made his throat burn.  His head was spinning and there was a sickening ache in his middle, but the immediate need to throw up had eased.  Adam handed him a glass of water. 

“Have you told him?” he asked, while Jeremiah rinsed his mouth and then froze over the toilet when he suddenly felt sick again.  

It was just a burp this time and Jeremiah finally sat back on his heels.  “Told him what?” he asked, even though he was pretty such he knew what Adam meant.  

“Told him you think his father’s going to hurt him again,” he said matter-of-factly.  Adam waited while Jeremiah got shakily to his feet.  He didn’t hover, but it was clear he was ready to grab him if he showed any signs of falling over. 

If it had been anyone else, Jeremiah might have deflected or downplayed. But Adam was watching him with that same open, interested, empathetic expression that had first drawn Jeremiah in when he was a shy, closeted, twenty-year old. Then, the question had been “do you think you might be interested in guys?” Jeremiah had blushed and stuttered and finally whispered yes, and Adam had listened and not judged, years before that stupid Tik Tok trend was a thing. 

Now Jeremiah found the truth just as easy to reveal. “I haven’t, and I won’t.” He moved gingerly back into the bedroom and settled himself down with a sigh of relief.  “And when it happens, I won’t say that I knew it would.  Because what good would that do?  But I’ll be there for him when he needs me.”  

“What happened to my timid, inexperienced Miah who didn’t know how to talk to boys?” Adam teased.  He plunked the bathroom garbage can on the floor and handed Jeremiah a fresh cup of water.  “So mature about relationships now.”  He sat down on the end of the bed.  “You really love him, don’t you?”  

Jeremiah wasn’t sure if he was imagining or projecting the air of wistfulness in Adam’s tone but he didn’t mention it.  What he was sure of was that any regret Adam may be harboring didn’t have anything to do with his and Jeremiah’s past.  And was absolutely not feeling well enough to delve into anything about Adam’s present.  

“I do,” he answered simply. “With all my heart.” And he’d tell him that when they talked later.  And Drew would understand that it was time to come home.

[if-seal]

Hello IF Seal !! (*throws a fish at you*)

I’m really needing some encouragement and advice on creating my first ever IF project!! I am neurodivergent so I write when i can and sometimes I just can’t figure out how to start my project.. I’ve honestly tried and failed to start many times so if you have any tips for how to keep working on a project and ideas then that would be great!!

Also side note: I honestly tried twine and it had a error that I’m not sure how to fix so I’ll probably be trying Choicescript next

If you also have tips for simple character customization for the PC also that would be awesome!

Thanks again IF seal!!

❤️

Good afternoon Starting Friend,

Thank you for the fish, it is my favourite thing other than assisting with interactive fiction queries!

I wonder how much planning you have done with your ideas that started and stopped. Do you begin with the seed of an idea and race onward but then lose steam? Do you end up doing only planning and once you start it feels as though you've already written the project? It may be that there is a way of doing it that's a happy medium.

I also wonder whether you might enjoy making some short-story-length pieces of IF before jumping into a very ambitious project. Doing that, or writing some short scenes that you might use for a project, or exploring a character you've made and feel excited about, may be a good way of dipping your toes into the water of making this kind of work - rather than diving straight in.

My human roommate @hpowellsmith made many short pieces of interactive fiction, and started two or three long ones, before making Blood Money, the first long game they finished. It's useful to try something small and manageable to get used to the coding side of things.

I would recommend having a look at existing pieces of interactive fiction for character customisation! There is a template here for pronouns and gender, but I think seeing how it can be done in different ways in-game may be useful to you. You can have a look at ChoiceScript released games' code by following the instructions here or on cogdemos games will have a "code" button that you can click to view their files if the author has enabled it.

Good luck, Starting Friend! Remember that starting a project and not finishing it is a natural part of starting out and you will learn from it regardless, but also that completing something small will teach you a lot more than doing a lot of starts and stops. I do hope that your writing goes well!

[onyxisnotuniqueenough]

guys you can't read fanfic about spider-punk or listen to the clash, the ramones or whoever and be sad that you can't buy stuff from boycotted brands this is you using your consumer powers to make a change DON'T SUCCUMB TO NEEDS SOCIETY CONVINCED YOU HAD!! TO CRAVINGS THEY TRICKED YOU INTO GETTING!!!! MAKE THAT FUCKING BURGER YOURSELF!!!! MAKE THAT DRINK YOURSELF!!!! GET THAT FUCKING IPHONE ON FACEBOOK MARKETPLACE OR SOMETHING!!!! LEARN TO MAKE YOUR OWN DEODORANT AND SHAMPOO FROM SCRATCH!!!!!! GROW VEGETABLES ON YOUR FUCKING WINDOW SILL!!!!!!!

IT'S BY CHIPPING AWAY AT IT THAT WE'LL TEAR DOWN CAPITALISM!!!

[dustylovelyrun]

hi, how've you been! How's been creating and writing going?

The temptation for dramatics. I really, truly wanted to be dramatic. To state something along the lines of how utterly awful writing has been, in how words have become the delusions of a mind newly rendered half mad and trapped within the gnarling, twisted vestiges of a very bittersweet history, but. It never does seem to translate well online, does it? Being dramatic without warning. But it does significantly take away from the joys of dramatics to provide warning, doesn't it? Sad thing, that is.

Without dramatics, I can say that the reason my presence initially is / was so sparse around 2022-onwards is because of the aftermath of long-covid. You know. The brain damage thing. It directly impacted any pre-existing ability that I had to think or say two sentences and to successfully follow the train of thought that was connecting them, let alone to formulate an idea, write it, or have any tolerance as to the feeble shadowed results of what I wanted and previously could have put on a page. It elicited some very helpless and sad feelings, so, as I do, I ran. Nowadays, it has somewhat improved, but I'm still mostly at a point where I can only formulate messy outlines and get a very rare piece that seems to turn out alright. I'm also in a belated educational attempt to reattain, as an adult, everything I missed out when I went and dropped out at fourteen; the writing exercises natural to that and the NZ curriculum have oddly aided in reclaiming some of that, in my paralysing terror of attaining a bad grade, but. It eats up time. I'm still very much warring with what's occurred mentally, and am uncertain if my time as a contributor here just. Ended, frankly, far sooner than I had ever thought to suspect, or if I'll eventually manage to adapt and relearn in an extraordinarily painful length of time.

But frankly, being able to witness the enthralling, indescribable and so utterly memorising shift and development of your own writing has been one of the factors to keeping me here, really. Every second of it has been worth it. You, and a select handful of once-mutuals that I still remember quite fondly from the 2020 and early 2022 era. It has been a truly wonderful experience to watch you grow more confident in your capabilities, honing both your cadence and innate talents into a true passion and skill rendering you destined to become ingrained into the long-term memories, the core, of your audience's mind. You have truly flourished and blossomed as the years have passed, and it carries very well in those pieces which are so hauntingly beautiful, echoing and resounding deeply as they are read.

[thebluebygracieabrams]

wow when i think about it maybe this year wasn't that bad

[megapteraurelia]

neighbour!kuroo who gets a concerning call in the middle of work; your hysteric voice sounding high and tinny through the cellphone, in a way that had the palms of his hands sweating and his heart pumping blood faster than was probably healthy for his body.

"emergency," he throws out towards the secretary, not stopping his stride to the staircases, because even though he was high up in the building, he couldn't stand still while waiting on the elevator. he'd rather just up and move himself.

"okay, deep breaths, you got it, good, good," he took two steps down at once, jumping over the last ones, "what happened?"

"he won't give me my mail, kuroo. i'm still registered with his address, and i forgot, god, i'm so dumb—"

neighbour!kuroo who dislikes hearing you put yourself down immensely, whose heart aches at the fact that even after you had broken up with him, your ex boyfriend continued being a piece of shit. "that idiot ever heard of privacy of correspondence? that's an actual law. we can go to the police, you know?"

"i don't— i don't want to make this bigger, you know? or, i don't— what if he ends up getting mad—maybe, i don't know. i'm sorry."

"you don't have to be. i'll be there soon and then we'll get your mail back first, okay?"

"okay."

neighbour!kuroo who finds himself knocking on that dipshit's door, thinking that at some point even as simple a word as no will have to be understood, right?

because this time, he really, really is not going to stop hammering it into that thick head until your ex learned his lesson. because if he gets another call like that for any reason, he may have to make a call himself, to a certain police officer all the way in miyagi to ask if there's anything to be done to help move things along a bit quicker. because he may just risk being escorted to the police station himself.

because kuroo doesn't want to see you get hurt again. doesn't want to hear the panic in your voice, the hitches in your breath as you try to force oxygen into your lungs amongst the tears coating your voice thickly.

the idiot doesn't open. of course, he doesn't.

kuroo sighs, because man, this is some serious bullshit.

he knocks again, harder, knuckles ringing with the aftereffect of his force, "listen, man. that fuckass thing you're doing is not cute. do you know how creepy it is to hold mail hostage, of all things? i hope you get that it's pathetic. i mean i'm not sure what i expected of a boy your age and stature—"

the door ripped open because there's two things that are a constant in this life:

kuroo's hair defying all physical laws.

kuroo's incredible handsomeness, wit, sexiness, general awesomeness, complete— okay, yeah. just the fact that kuroo's really good at riling up people.

neighbour!kuroo who towers over your ex, who stems his hand against the door so that there's no way it could be shut again, who cuts your ex boyfriend off before he could prove himself to be dumber than bread loaf. though, that would be an insult to the bread, kuroo thinks and he'd laugh at himself if he wasn't so set on bringing your ex down a peg.

"where's her mail?" kuroo spits out, and then continues before he can get an answer: "i want it. now. because if you won't hand it over, i'll come in and collect it all myself, got it?"

the idiot scoffs, "yeah, right. i'mma jus' call the police on you—"

"sure, and then we can let them know how much of a stalker you've been, hm? don't worry, i won't leave anything out, i'm a great storyteller."

your ex exhales sharply, annoyed, eyes staring up into kuroo's and he holds the gaze, because if he doesn't, then he'll have lost.

by all means, kuroo isn't a sore loser, he really isn't, but this is not a game, and he's never backed down from a fight. isn't going to start now, either. his fingers turn white on the door frame.

neighbour!kuroo watches the retreating back of your ex boyfriend for a second, and finally allows himself to blink and clear the slight dryness coating his eyes. when he comes back, there was a small pile of letters in his hands, and kuroo makes it a point to grip the paper but not take it yet.

maybe one last hammering and the nail will sit, snug and tight.

"i know what you're doing, dude, and i'm telling you that it won't work. she's not alone." kuroo waits until an almost meek nod escapes your dipshit ex, before he pulls the mail out with a determined tug. and because he's got manners, he says, waving the letters: "thanks for these."

neighbour!kuroo who opens the door to his apartment and finds you closer than expected. he turns to the shut door, and back to your guilty shuffling with the dried smudged makeup stains, "eavesdropping, hm? couldn't help yourself?"

"shut up," you mutter but then you come closer, and kuroo's breath hitches ever so slightly, losing the attempted grin, because he can smell your perfume and he can feel your body's heat when you lay your head against his chest, right on his thumping heart.

"i'm sorry."

"what for?"

kuroo doesn't know what you mean, doesn't remember what you were even talking about, just— chin slightly dipped, eyes roving over your hair, begging that you can't hear the pace of his heart betraying the second time of the day sweat gathered on the palm of his hand. this time for a far more different reason.

"or no. not just that. sorry, and— i'm thankful."

voice soft and vibrating against his chest, his skin is burning from where you lifted your head to look at him. oh, he was going to burst.

"you could," he swallows and for a split second thinks whether he should just say it. he considers not to, but the expecting look in your eyes wins him over, "you could, hah maybe, put down this as your registered address. this apartment, i mean. here."

neighbour!kuroo who wonders if he should say the next words, but you beat him to it, "as home?"

"yeah."

kuroo was glad you're not leaning on his chest anymore, because his heart rate is going through the roof, but the downside is that he cannot look away from your face. lured in, a call to respond to: the soft curves of your features, the expression you wear that he doesn't know how to interpret. the way your lips open slightly, the slow blink of your eyelids, he wants to kiss you so badly. would you let him?

"the apartment viewing is tomorrow," you say, still standing so close, and your finger tips are brushing the cuffs of his sleeves.

he responds, "i know."

the silence draws out and it feels like there's things brewing outside his control. he doesn't know at what heat they're simmering, whether they would continue to cook if he turns it off because it's an electrical stove or if things are just going to snuff out because turns out that it's a gas stove after all. is it even seasoned well?

he just knows that there's things coming together, atoms upon atoms whirling around each other, bouncing off each other, brownian molecular movement in full swing. it's a simple equation in his mind: the acceleration of his heart and the heat of both your bodies inches away from each other, spurring things on.

neighbour!kuroo who looks at you, sees the hesitation in your eyes, the little turn of the corners of your mouth pointing down, and understands.

"it's alright. we'll go look at it tomorrow, yeah?"

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3 | pt. 4 | pt. 5

TAGLIST | @takes1 @origamipivo @sailanne

[ryebread0605]

Hii! Hope you're doing great.

Can you do dorm leaders of twisted wonderland with a mute or blind reader? ( male reader)

It's okay if not and thanks! (✿❛◡❛)

This is a very fun one to do cuz I love to see disability rep in fanfics (especially as a disabled person!) I hope you don’t mind that I did deaf and blind!

Riddle: 

he just thinks you’re ignoring him at first when he yells at you to go to specific areas you don’t know, which leads to many instances of the collar being put on you 

He gets curious when he sees deuce leading you around everywhere 

Started to get suspicious when he found out you do all your essays and readings through the computer

Yeah he’s not the type to figure out you are blind on his own

Finally comes to a head as you’re painting the roses, he comes behind you and goes “NO THOSE ARE BLUE NOT RED! WHAT, ARE YOU BLIND OR SOMETHING?” 

Awkward silence begins and it finally clicks 

Poor boy is apologetic beyond belief and will do anything in his power to make up for it

Goes out of his way to make sure every single corner in the heartslabyul form has a cushion against it so you won’t hurt yourself 

“I’m so sorry (name) I promise I didn’t know. Please, if there’s any way we can accommodate you more, let myself or Trey know!”

Leona:

at first, he sees you as weak, an easy target

Until he tries to sneak up on you and get an elbow straight to the gut

He can tell right away that you don’t let being blind hold you back and DAMN does he respect it

Jack is given the duty of being your eyes, seeing as you have numeral classes together and are both freshmen

He adds a detail to spelldrive so you can play, making it so the disc beeps when it’s close to you so you can catch it 

He will never admit that his instincts are telling him to take the small weak cub under his wing

“Look, in this dorm it’s survival of the fittest. If you’ve spent this long at NRC without being taken out by a dumbass, you got what it takes to be part of the dorm”

Azul:

because of the Sea Witch stories, it became mandatory for all merfolk to learn some version of sign language

He can easily spot you are deaf and tries to strike up a deal first, only he mixes it up in his mind and signs ‘date’ instead 

Both of you are blushing messes but why not? 

You help to properly teach him and the tweels proper sign language and in return you now have 3 powerful and influential men there to protect you at any time 

“I must ask, do you think it would be a fruitful venture to hold a paid for sign language class? Of course the proceeds would go to a charity! That charity being getting you those hearing aids you’ve been wanting”

Kalim:

Is very confused as you don’t seem to hear him at all, making him practically yell

Jamil has to be the one to tell him that you could just be deaf

This mans is FLUENT in sign and will have the best gossip to tell you that only you two can hear 

Jamil is happy cuz it keeps him out of trouble and keeps the dorm quiet

Until Kalim realizes he can raise the music so you can feel the bass 

“Isn’t this awesome! I knew you’d love this song! Everyone deserves the chance to party in Scarabia!”

Vil:

he has worked with plenty of people so it’s no surprise he knows how to sign 

During the SDC, he makes sure you have a seat closest to the speakers so you can feel the vibrations the best 

Offers several times to make you a hearing potion but accepts that it is a part of you that you wish to keep 

ASL is now mandatory to learn in the Pomefiore dorm (with permission from Crowley who sees this as an opportunity to show how inclusive his school is)

“(Name) how does this seat work for you? Is it close enough to the speaker? Or would you rather have an interpreter? Just let me know potato”

Idia:

it makes him feel so relaxed to know you can’t see him

You enjoy video games AND you can’t clock his looks? Hell yes

He’s ringing up STYX right away to sent a Cerberus unit as a guide dog for you 

If you are up to it, he would love to make cyber eyes for you to give you sight back

Gets super excited hanging out with you and lets himself be himself because in his eyes you can’t see him so you don’t judge him 

“-and yeah! He should be all set up for your fingerprint id! If any problems happen, like normies trying to get in your way, he has an op defense mode”

Malleus:

by FAR the most protective of you

Since you can’t see, he worries others will take advantage of that and he is NOT having that

He is your person guard dragon and will follow you around everywhere  

Has set up his nest in Diasomnia (because I like the idea that he keeps dragon instincts like nesting and hoarding) to include a tactile pathway to both the bathroom and door so you have more sense of freedom

If he can’t guard you, Lilia will. Lilia is a lot more ferocious in his guarding as he had blind soldiers when he was a general

“Child of man, if you need anything, money is no problem. I could get you set up with working eyes if you would like. But if you prefer how you are, that’s alright too”

[swarvey]

how they would propose | sdv bachelors x g/n!reader | part one

-> summary: in game, the farmer is always the one to present the mermaid's pendant to their lover — what if it was the other way around?

pt. 2

a/n: starting with half the boys, i'll be working on the rest of them + bachelorettes after ! i got a bit carried away with elliott's ... but can you blame me?

alex

carries the pendant around in his pocket for a week, hoping the right words will magically find him if he does

(they don't)

definitely the type to lock himself in the bathroom and stare at himself through the mirror while practicing what to say to you

decides to propose during a quiet walk in the evening so he has your full attention and all the time in the world to profess his love to you

alex swears his heart is about to fly out of his chest as the two of you walk hand in hand around pelican town, the sun long gone below the horizon. the street lamps guide the two of you, fireflies intermittently emitting gentle flashes of light.

he doesn't even realize you're expecting a response from him until you wave a hand in front of his face, moving in front of him so he's forced to look into your amused gaze.

"alex," you laugh, and his breath hitches, "are you listening? you look like you've been zoning out."

he musters an empty laugh back at you, internally panicking as he desperately tries to recall what you said. "what? me? no, i was just, uh . . ." think, alex, think! you can't mess up now! "i was thinking about gridball." he wants to smack himself.

"really?" you reply, raising your brows. "you're thinking about gridball, now? while i was talking to you about our anniversary coming up?"

shit.

his face pales, stopping in his tracks in the middle of the bridge near the museum. he groans, dropping your hand to run it through his hair — surely he can fix this, right?

"okay, cut the act," you say, worry beginning to show in your features. "is everything alright? what's bugging you?"

"nothing, really! it's just that, uh . . ." alex inhales a quick breath to prepare himself before grabbing both your hands in his. "you know i love you, right?"

"yes . . .," you trail off. you look at him with concerned eyes, beginning to look uneasy. "now i'm really worried—"

"no, no! just hear me out, alright?" you nod. "you know, before you moved here, my view on life was pretty boring," he admits. "all i really cared about was gridball and my grandparents. and dusty, of course, and i guess sam and haley, too—" he shakes his head, blush beginning to cover his cheeks. "whatever, you get what i'm trying to say, right?"

"i'm not entirely sure if i follow," you reply, smiling at how flustered he's gotten. "what are you getting at, alex?"

he sighs. "listen, you moving here was the best thing that ever happened to me. you've shown me there's tons more to life than whatever i was doing before, like giving random gifts to everyone in town just to make them happy, or being a badass and fighting off monsters!" you laugh, and he grins. "anyways, now that i've had a taste of what being with you is like, i don't think i'm willing to share."

your jaw drops as he reaches into his pocket and gets on one knee, opening his palm to reveal a mermaid's pendant.

"will you marry me, y/n? so i can spend the rest of my life learning more awesome stuff from you?"

he nearly collapses in relief when you nod, whooping in joy before engulfing you in a tight hug. after a few moments, he can't help but kiss you strongly, a hand cradling the back of your head with the other on the small of your back. you smile into the kiss, pulling away only to look into his teary, overjoyed eyes.

"aren't you forgetting something?" you tease, glancing down at the pendant that's still clutched in his hand.

"oh, right!" you bend your head forward as he places it around your neck, beaming at the sight.

you hold the jewel in your hand, adrenaline pumping through your blood. "looks like we'll have to plan a wedding," you say, happily pecking alex's cheek.

"yes, this is so great!" he exclaims as he jumps in excitement, unable to control himself. "alright, first, we gotta figure out where we're going to cater food from, but i know grams will want to bake our cake," he rambles, grabbing your hand as he practically starts to drag you home. "oooh, and we should totally ask sam and his band to play something for us! he knows all the songs we like, anyway. i think all the guys will help me get all dressed up, but i bet haley and the rest of the girls would go crazy over helping you pick out what to wear, they probably know better anyway—"

"alex," you interrupt, laughing at his antics, "relax. we'll figure all this out tomorrow. let's just go home." he nods.

"you're right, honey," he agrees, swinging your intertwined hands playfully. "i'm going to need all the rest i can get if i'm gonna spend all of tomorrow bragging about my engagement."

shane

leaves the pendant in his nightstand drawer and looks at it every night before he goes to sleep for nearly a month

he truly never thought he would get married — who would want to marry him, the town drunk?

regardless, the past year with you has proven otherwise, and he knows now there's no one else he wants by his side

he decides to do it quite impulsively one day, literally grabbing it from his drawer and walking to your farm

(marnie nearly faints in excitement when she sees him walk out with the mermaid's pendant in hand, while jas cheers him on)

shane starts to get nervous when he doesn't see you anywhere on the farm, making sure to double-check all the chicken coops and barns before heading toward your house. your pet runs up to him, sniffing the hand wrapped around the pendant curiously.

"got any advice?" he asks jokingly, though he doesn't receive an answer — just a tilted head and wide eyes. "guess this one's on me," he sighs, looking at the jewelry nervously.

"shane? is that you?"

shane nearly drops it as he quickly shoves his hands into his pockets, watching as you step out from your greenhouse. of course, he thinks, the one place i didn't check.

"what are you doing here?" you ask, smiling at his sudden appearance. you're wearing dirt-covered gloves and your hair is touseled and frizzy; shane thinks you're glowing. "dinner's not til later, isn't it? or else i'll need a little time to get ready."

"no, i thought i would stop by a little early," he says. "i had something i wanted to talk to you about, actually." you nod, taking off your gloves and putting them in your bag.

"of course, what's up?" you ask, looking at him with those damn eyes that he could never resist.

"we should get married," he states bluntly, excitement sending chills down his body.

he wants to kick himself as you stare at him, blinking twice before saying, "y-yeah, i guess we should."

he nods, swallowing. "it makes sense, y'know?" he reasons, suddenly avoiding your eyes. "we've been with each other for a while now, and things have been going pretty good." he pauses. "you've gotten me through a lot, you know that? i mean, before you got here, i didn't think anyone in this town gave a damn about me — but you obviously do, for whatever reason, so i'll spend the rest of my life trying my best to be the guy you see me as."

he takes the mermaid's pendant out from his pocket, sheepishly looking at you as he holds it. his eyes are watering with emotion, and by the looks of it, so are yours.

"so, what do you say, honey?" he asks softly. "will you marry me?"

"yes," you reply, smiling as he puts the necklace on you. he laughs in disbelief when he sees you wearing it, still in shock that this is his reality. you roll your eyes, pulling him in for a deep kiss. you cry out in surprise as he hugs you strongly and even lifts you off the ground slightly, his eyes brighter than you've ever seen them.

"i can hardly believe this is real," he sighs, pulling you into his side. "guess i did one thing right in my lifetime."

you slap his arm, resting your head on his shoulder and closing your eyes. "you definitely didn't plan this out, did you?"

"huh? what makes you think that?"

"you couldn't even wait until dinner to ask?" you joke. "i guess it wasn't really a question, either—" you laugh as he pokes your side to cut you off.

"don't forget, you're the one who said yes," he retorts, smiling nonetheless. "you're officially stuck with me."

elliott

oh, he's had the mermaid's pendant for months. pretty much since you two got together

he tried to keep it a secret, he really did, but by the time he actually decides to propose, the rest of the bachelors and bachelorettes know

still, he wants the proposal to be for you and you only, so he plans on asking you during an evening picnic dinner on the beach

that doesn't stop him from asking his friends for some help, though

"is this really necessary?" sebastian questions, placing a candle into the sand and creating a pathway to the picnic blanket near the water.

"i think it's romantic," leah sighs, handing him another candle from the box in her arms. "he's been planning and buying all this stuff for weeks now. plus, candlelight always makes things more magical."

"i'm sure the moon will be bright enough tonight to add some 'magic.'"

"the light itself is not our concern, my friend," elliott says, wrapping an arm around seb — who scowls at the contact, but decides to let him get away with it just this once — and waving his arm to show off their setup. "i need this beach to represent a scene of pure love and endearment tonight, for my beloved deserves no less than a proposal for the century!"

"right," seb monotones. "well, the candles are all set up, so i'm heading to the shade."

"you want the speakers over here, el?" sam calls out, holding up one of his wireless speakers at the entrance of the beach.

"i've got one over here, too!" abigail yells from behind the cabin.

"perfect!" elliott replies, grinning as the setting he's been picturing finally comes together. he waves goodbye as everyone begins to head home, turning to the only part of his plan left untouched — the picnic blanket. i suppose the rest is up to me.

-

"are you ready, my dear?"

"elliott, i've been ready for the past twenty minutes," you say, playfully smacking the hands covering your eyes. "can i look now?" he laughs before finally lowering his arms, watching lovingly as your eyes widen at the setting in front of you.

"shall we?" he asks, holding his arm out. you gladly hold on to him as the two of you make your way down the beach, in awe at the candles lighting your way.

"i must be dreaming," you say, shaking your head. "how did you—? wait, where's the music coming from?" you realize soft acoustic music is playing throughout the beach, feeling as if you're in a movie scene.

"ah, that? i asked sam and abigail if i could borrow their speakers," elliott explains proudly. "i also recruited leah and sebastian to help me create this enchanting path."

you laugh. "let me guess, you asked alex and haley to distract me and bring me to the library?" your jaw dropped. "no, and you asked maru and penny to get lunch with me? all so i wouldn't come to find you?"

"i had a feeling my darling would venture to my whereabouts, so i requested the help of our colleagues to keep you away. though i'm sure it was difficult for you, i wanted this to be a surprise," he admits, smiling at you. "do you . . . like it?" he asks quietly, a bit scared he had done too much.

"elliott, this is more than anything i could have asked for," you say, warmth coating your words. "what's the occasion?"

he sighs in relief before replying, "have i ever needed a measly excuse to spoil you, dear?"

"i suppose not," you agree amusedly, recalling all the times you've returned home to a bouquet sitting on your porch.

finally, the two of you reach the end of the path, sitting together on the blanket. a big basket covered with a cloth sits at the center of it, as well as two plates, utensils, and your favorite food.

you shake your head. "this is ridiculous," you state, looking at elliott with big eyes. "how long have you been planning this?"

he hums in thought as he plates your food, pushing it towards you. "that, my dear, is none of your concern," he says, "though, i will say it took quite a bit of strategy. and money," he jokingly adds.

after the two of you eat, elliott hands the basket over to you, trying his very best to contain himself.

"i thought it'd be fitting to get you some gifts," he states, as you begin to uncover its contents one by one.

inside, you find a framed version of your favorite photo with him, a hand-painted mug, a poem, and—

you gasp. "are those rubies?" you ask, a couple red stones glittering at the top of the basket. you pick them up, realizing they're matching keychains.

"courtesy of emily," elliott explains. he hesitates, breathing out lightly before continuing. "rubies signify love and passion, you know, as well as good luck and prosperity."

you laugh lightly, holding up the keychains to the moonlight to see them shine. "perfect, should work wonders for us and the farm—"

"they also symbolize weddings."

you blink, gently setting down the gems as you look at him. he holds out the mermaid's pendant he has been patiently keeping for you, eyes already shining with tears as you gasp.

"y/n, the time we have spent together has been by far the best of my entire life," he starts, "and when i look to the future, i'm afraid i cannot picture one without you walking by my side. you are, and always will be, the love of my life, my shining light, my fairy book tale. you, my love, are my happy ending.

"so, will you do me the honors and marry me?"

you jump into his arms as soon as he finishes speaking, both of you laughing as he happily holds you.

"yes, elliott, of course!" you exclaim. he grins as he holds your face in his hands, covering your face in kisses before finally landing on your lips. your hands run through his hair before you fall backward, elliott landing on top of you with his hand cradling your head. you peck his nose, and he laughs once more before helping you sit up.

"here, let us celebrate with some wine!" he decides, grabbing two bottles he had left in the corner. "shane and harvey said these were the best the winery had to offer."

"you really got the whole town in on this, huh?" you tease, barely containing yourself as he helps you put on the jewelry.

he rubs the back of his head, slightly embarrassed. "well, it began with leah, and i thought it wouldn't hurt to tell harvey, but then of course i had to tell—" he stops himself. "secrecy has never been one of my strong suits, has it, love?"

you shake your head, leaning into his arm as you listen to the sound of the music mixing with the crashing of the waves.

"don't worry," you reassure, and he looks down at you with nothing but love in his gaze. "you have plenty of other traits to make up for it."

[uzurakis]

HERE TO SEND YOU BLUELOCK HEAD CANNONS! >:D

Can you do headcannons of the guys and how they would be like if they were teaching us how to play soccer? Hope this is interesting for you ^^, if you're interested to make them thanks in advance!

TEACHING YOU SOCCER?!

featuring: michael kaiser. itoshi rin. oliver aiku. isagi yoichi. bachira meguru.

n. yees darling, i was invested to write this (it's a challenging one because i don't really play soccer myself). hope i nailed it though, thank you to u too <3

MICHAEL KAISER. "nice shot!" kaiser exclaimed, clapping you on the back. "but don't get too cocky, mein liebling."

"learned from the best, i guess," you teased, nodding toward kaiser. "after all, my boyfriend's the world's number one striker, hmm?"

kaiser's eyes widened in mock surprise, a beam spreading across his face. "well, when you put it that way," he said, puffing out his chest with pride and sliding back his golden locks. "i suppose i am pretty amazing."

"ah, but if i'm the world's number one striker," he continued, trying to tease you with words, "then that must mean you have to kneel before me, right?"

you lifted an eyebrow, unable to stop snickering at his exaggerated claim. "huh, is that so?" playing along with his joke. "i guess i'll have to remember to bow down to the soccer king himself."

the guy grinned, clearly enjoying the playful exchange. "that's more like it," now his voice filled with mock superiority, typical kaiser. "but don't worry, i'll be a generous king."

ITOSHI RIN. "fine, i'll try my best, but just so you know, i'm not really good at teaching," rin confessed, feeling apologetic because he’s not used to teaching others. and now, his girlfriend wants to learn how to play soccer.

rin took a deep breath, trying to muster up some confidence as he began to explain the basics of dribbling. "uh, alright, first, dribbling. just try to keep the ball close to your feet for now," he instructed, a bit hesitant.

"oi, dont look at me, look at the ball," he reminded you. "sorry," you chuckled, truly didn't realize you weren't paying attention. come on, just look at him. "if i’m being honest, you look really hot like this," you teased, but, it’s true though!

rin's cheeks flushed slightly at your comment, but he quickly regained his composure. "focus," he replied. though there was a hint of annoyance, you couldn't help but sneak a glance at rin's face as he continued to give you instructions, his cheeks flushed slightly from your earlier comment.

suddenly, rin's voice broke through your reverie, snapping you back to reality. "i said focus!"

OLIVER AIKU. "keep your eye on the ball and follow through with your kick," aiku instructed while you attempted to pass the ball to him.

even when you struggled or made mistakes, aiku remained patient and supportive, offering gentle guidance to help you improve. "try to angle your foot a bit more next time," he suggested, as you missed the mark with your pass. "you're doing great, sweetie. just keep practicing."

by the end of the session, you were exhausted but thankful for aiku's patience and support. he wrapped his arm around your shoulders, a proud smile on his lips.

"you're making progress, sweetie," he soothed, genuine and affectionate. "with a little more practice, you'll beat me out here."

BACHIRA MEGURU. "okaaay, let's start with some dribbling drills," he said, bachira was overjoyed since this meant he had another friend to play soccer with. "try to keep the ball under control as you move around me, kaay?"

you nodded, determined to give it your best shot. as you began to dribble the ball, you stumbled a bit, but bachira was quick to offer a push. "nice job, baby! you're getting the hang of it," he cheered, clapping his hands in support.

with each effort, you gained confidence and dribbled past bachira with greater ease. bachira congratulated you on your small wins every time you successfully escaped him. "woah, that was awesome! baby, i’m so happy!" he exclaimed, giving you a high-five.

"great effort, babes! keep it up, and you'll get it," he encouraged, his words filling you with determination. “lets keep playing together!”

ISAGI YOICHI. "hey, it's okay," isagi said gently, stepping closer to you. "here, let me show you."

he moved behind you and gently guided your legs into the correct position, his touch firm yet gentle. "see? keep your body low and your touches light," he explained, moving your legs in rhythm with the ball. "you've got this, angel.”

with isagi's guidance, you began to feel more confident, dribbling the ball with increasing control. whenever you made a mistake, your boyfriend always offered gentle correction and encouragement.

"nice try, but try to keep the ball closer to your feet," he would say, his tone encouraging. "like this," demonstrating the correct form before guiding your legs to mimic his movements.

@uzurakis

[noxemma]

Parts 1&2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 |

@colorlessjay thank you so much for the awesome story idea and the inspiration for the title, I really dig the idea of a romance in reverse (I'm not a phenomenal artist but this came to me in a vision, so I had to give it a go 😂). Hopefully you enjoy this next installment (Cas POV this time) as much as the last ones

---

Steering through the Rearview: A Romance in Reverse

First comes love a kid(napping), then comes a marriage ... Yeah, they're definitely doing things in the wrong order, but maybe, if they're lucky, they can figure out how to reverse their way into something real.

---

Castiel takes the hint when Dean turns up the music. Not that he minds; he's not sure what had possessed him to say those words to Dean.

That's not entirely true, Castiel mentally chastises himself. Dean's words may have been gruff and stained with anger, but his eyes. His eyes had been sad and full of ... Caged hope? No, that doesn't sound quite right. It's not caged exactly, more like ... Castiel looks at Dean, searching for the right words to describe the beautiful and complicated man beside him.

Dean must feel him staring because he darts a quick, nervous smile his way. Hobbled, maybe. Unable to run free, but still wild and wanting inside.

"What? Do I have somethin' on my face?" Dean asks, turning the music down and letting out a chuckle that sounds forced.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to stare, I just got ... lost in thought," Castiel rushes to explain, trying to will the heat back down that he feels rushing to his cheeks. "Sam's written several stories about traveling. Lovely pieces full of nostalgia and wonder. I assume those were trips taken in this car, with you and your father?" "Uh," Dean starts, one hand coming off the wheel to rub at the back of his neck. A nervous habit, Castiel is quickly learning. "Yeah. I guess they must be. This was the most stable home we had for a good chunk of our childhood." Dean shoots a glance at Castiel, magnificent green eyes wide, like he's confessed something he shouldn't have, or didn't mean to. "That would make sense, then," Castiel responds with a warm smile that he hopes is reassuring.

He understands not wanting to talk about rocky childhoods. Or fathers, for that matter. So, while Dean's admission only stokes his already blazing curiosity about the man, he forces himself to let it go and let whatever band Dean has playing take over the conversation. To his surprise, Dean doesn't take the out, choosing instead to continue talking.

"Uh, Sam told me he, um, well, whenever I agreed to this, he told me that he wrote a lot about our childhood for your class. He also said you were ridiculously smart, so you'd probably be able to put some stuff together." Dean's not looking at him, but Castiel can see his hands tighten on the wheel and his shoulders tense. "He did," Castiel admits. "Although it is a creative writing class so I can't be sure how much is real and how much is fictional. But, well, we tend to write what we know. I try not to read too much into them, unless of course I'm worried a student might harm themselves or someone else. However, one story of his in particular does stand out."

"Yeah?" Dean's answer is breathless and high, compressed fear dampening the sound.

"It was about a boy and his brother and their father. They lived on the road, chasing down supernatural entities, trying to get revenge for their dead mother," Castiel tells him slowly, verbally approaching with his hands raised to show he means no harm. "It was really wonderful, best in the entire class, though I'm sure it was written with a heavy dose of creative license. Or did you really hunt monsters across the United States?"

Dean lets out a whoosh of air, relaxing back into the seat and letting color come back into his knuckles. "No. And, yes, kind of. Man, Sam has one hell of an imagination," Dean lets out a relieved laugh before continuing. "Mom died just a few months after Sam was born. House fire, or well, arson. The guy they think did it was a criminal who skipped out on his bail, but the police could never track him down. I think that's part of the reason why Sam is going into criminal law. Anyway, Dad took it hard and became a bounty hunter. It gave him a sense of purpose and resources to work on Mom's case in his spare time, for a little while anyway. But, as the years went by, and the leads went cold, he started taking comfort in a bottle. He was drunk when he totaled Baby. Nearly killed Sam and I." "You were in the car with him? How old were you?" Castiel manages to bite his tongue after the second question escapes his lips. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't pry." "Nah, it's okay. It's practically ancient history now. I was seventeen, Sam was thirteen. Dad kept insisting he was fine to drive, and I tried to argue. And I know I should have tried harder, or hidden his keys or something but, but there was just no getting through to him when he got that way ..." Dean's eyes go far away and Castiel is pretty sure he's seeing something other than the road. His jaw clenches and he gulps before he blinks, eyes refocusing. "Anyway, can't change the past. Sam was in the backseat, so he was the least hurt, which was a fucking miracle." "And you?" Castiel breathes, riveted and horrified as more pieces of Sam's writing slot into place; the pretty paint facade of fiction washing away from the story, revealing the uglier truth behind it. Dean rubs his neck again, hesitating before admitting, "I was in the hospital for over a week. Bobby and his wife Karen fostered us until I turned eighteen. Gave me a job at his junkyard and taught me how to be a mechanic. Helped me get my GED and paid for me to go to trade school and get my ASE certification. Not to mention he helped me petition the state for custody of Sam once I had full-time employment and an apartment in my name." Before he realizes what he's doing, Castiel's hand is on Dean's knee, squeezing reassuringly as he says, "I'm so sorry, Dean. No child should have to go through that. I'm glad you had someone like Bobby to help you." "Thanks, Cas. Me too. But, like I said, it's all ancient history now." They both know he's lying but Cas doesn't call him on it because he's too busy trying to remain calm when Dean lowers his hand to cover his own.

"Cas?" Castiel asks, cursing how breathy his voice sounds and pulling his hand slowly back into his own space before he does something irrational like skipping the wedding and just driving around for the next few days. "You've called me that a few times now."

"Yeah. Cas. You know, the shortened version of your name or, as it's more commonly known: a nickname," Dean rolls his eyes, laughing like Cas has made some great joke. He stops when Cas just stares at him in confusion. "Hang on, has no one really ever called you that before?" "Um. No?" Dean's mouth drops open, and he stares at Cas in the passenger seat for long enough that Cas is worried they might start to drift off the road if he doesn't snap him out of it. "My parents were, um, very formal and ... strict," Cas explains quickly, pitching his voice high in a poor imitation of Naomi, "'Castiel, if I wanted you to be called something else, I would have put it on your birth certificate.'" Dean let's out a snort and the cold dread, which had begun squeezing its icy fist around Cas' chest at the memory of the woman who gave birth to him, recedes at the sound. "Seriously? Man, I can't imagine if I had to run around calling Sam 'Samuel' for the rest of his life. What kind of name is Castiel anyway? European?"

"Biblical. My parents were also extremely religious. They named all of us after angels. Michael, Gabriel, Lucifer." "Damn, and here I was feeling bad about myself for being named after my grandmother, Deanna. Although at least you aren't Lucifer. Does he really go by that?"

"He went by Nick until he died few years ago. Or at least that's what Gabriel told me," Cas admits.

Dean shoots him another look but doesn't press. Instead, he mimics Cas' action from earlier, right hand coming off the wheel to squeeze his leg. He knows the action is supposed to be comforting, but knowing doesn't stop the heat sizzling up his veins.

Cas closes his eyes to fight against the feeling. It doesn't help; green eyes and freckles emblazon against the back of his eyelids.

How long has it been since someone, besides Charlie or my students or Jack, touched me, intentionally? Months? Years?

Cas stifles a groan. Because it doesn't matter. It's clearly been long enough that his body is responding disproportionately, and he has to stop it. Now. So, he starts talking about the one thing he knows for sure will kill any errant desire he's feeling.

"My parents disowned me when I came out to them. Gabriel is the only one who still speaks to me. He would have probably been disowned too if he hadn't kept the family name and become so successful so quickly. This wedding is actually the first time I'll be seeing any of them beside him in well over a decade now." "Shit, sorry, Cas," Dean blurts before chewing his lip and darting more glances his way, clearly debating something. "You can ask whatever it is you're wondering," Cas encourages, welcoming the distraction. "Uh, why are you going to this wedding then? I mean, I get that they're family, but well, to quote Bobby, 'family don't end in blood. And it don't start there either.'"

The voice Dean puts on when quoting his surrogate father wrings a laugh out of Cas and the dangerous heat of attraction is replaced with an equally dangerous, though less embarrassing, warmth centered father up his body.

"I'm getting the idea that Bobby was a very wise man. But, to answer your question: I'm going because Jack is actually my biological nephew. I was friends with Kelly, his mother, and I raised him like my own when she died from complications shortly after giving birth. She never put Lucifer on his birth certificate and her parents never contested her choice to name me his as his godfather and legal guardian. But, somehow, Naomi and Chuck have found out about him, and they are threatening to petition for custody of him if I don't show up."

"Why? On what grounds?" Dean explodes, barely contained fury adding a growl to the words that sends a tingle up his spine and forces him to shift in his seat. "I'm a single father and a man who wouldn't be able to afford the house I'm living in if it wasn't paid for by my more successful brother, and gay on top of that," Cas ticks off, "Plus a few others, I'm sure."

Dean stays silent, but rage radiates off him in heavy waves. Cas is just about to try and call off the whole ridiculous idea, sure Dean will agree now that he knows what he'll be up against, when Dean's face brightens and he pins Cas with a wild stare, stealing the breath he was about to use to speak.

"Hey, Cas. How do you feel about being fiancés?"

Cas, ever a pillar of grace and decorum, chokes on his own spit.

"Shit, sorry. You're Sam's favorite professor and I'm pretty sure he can kill me without leaving a trace, so please don't die!"

"Why-" Cas starts, coughing and gasping a few more times before managing to get the rest of the question out, "Why would you want to be my fiancé?" "Well, you're gorgeous and kind for one, so who wouldn't want to be your fiancé," Dean says with a wink at him and Cas is grateful that his face is already red from nearly choking to death on his own saliva. "But I was thinking, we were already going to pretend to be boyfriends, right? So why not go for gold? We can knock off at least two of those reasons you mentioned. I practically raised Sam so I'm no stranger to the whole parent thing. We become fiancés and suddenly you're a two parent, dual income household. I mean, I'm not rolling in wealth by any means, but I do okay enough, though most of the money I make doing restorations goes to helping Sam out with tuition, but they don't need to know that."

"But we don't know anything about each other, how would we be able to convince my parents that we're planning on getting married?" Cas challenges, not quite daring to hope that they might have a chance at pulling this off. "Well, we've got approximately five hours to figure it out. Plenty of time, plus we already know a lot about each other." Cas tilts his head and opens his mouth, but Dean answers his question before it can escape.

"You know that I have a younger brother who I raised, that I work as a mechanic and a car restoration expert, not to mention you apparently already described me to 'Uncle Gabe,'" Dean takes a breath and hurries on before Cas can interrupt, not that he would, "I know that your parents are mega douchebags who don't appreciate what an amazing son they have. I know that you're an English professor at Stanford and that you're an amazing dad, aside from a slight oversight in the stranger danger department. But most importantly, I know that Jack belongs with you and I'm willing to do whatever I can to help make that happen."

Cas' heart thuds in his chest at Dean's vehement declaration. "I- Thank you, Dean," Cas manages before his throat closes up entirely and he's blinking rapidly to keep the moisture forming in his eyes from falling onto his cheeks. "Great!" Dean chirps, flicking on his turn signal and changing lanes to speed around a slow-moving truck. "So, babe. How did we meet? Because, somehow, I feel like telling your folks that I accidentally kidnapped your son will be counterproductive."

[devinescribe]

Their Inner Monologue the First Time You Kissed

[Mixed Bag x Reader]

Characters: Snotlout, Hiccup, Tuffnut, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Damian Wayne, Tim Drake, Percy Jackson, Octavian, Luke Castellan, Grover Underwood, Steven Meeks, Neil Perry

Snotlout Jorgenson

"Okay so this is really happening... wow she's so gorgeous... she tastes good... I could do this forever... don't panic. Don't panic, you're brave and tough you've faced dragons scarrier than this... am I doing okay? Does she like it? Should I pull away? Is where my hands are okay? Maybe I'll move them up... here. Good good good. She asked before kissing me… felt nice… to have a choice… I don’t really care if that makes me seem weak… Ohh I'm getting lightheaded I need air... oh wow okay okay she looks even better when she pulls away oh Thor help me..."

Tuffnut Thorston

"YESSSS THIS IS AWESOME HAHAHAHAHA I KNEW SHE LIKED ME! …not like I’ve been her boyfriend for a month but… Ha… Bet Hiccup would be jealous. I can actually kiss my girl. He can not afford. Great success. Oh she's laughing into the kiss this is even better! Her laugh is so pretty... would she be mad if I tickled her right now...? No! Focus. Lock in. She's holding on so soft it's like she's scared of hurting me she's adorable I love her so much... I'm hungry... I wonder where Chicken is I haven't- FOCUS TUFFNUT!! THE WOMAN OF YOUR DREAMS IS KISSING YOU!!! Oh she pulled away... oh yeah oxygen. I'm gonna need more so she can learn to survive without oxygen-"

Hiccup Haddock

"And this is really happening okay okay don't... panic? I'm not panicking I'm just worried because I've never done this before and wow she's pretty should my eyes be closed? Where do I put my hands? Where is she comfortable with me touch- oh it's like she read my mind she's just leading my hands that's nice... I like her hand in my hair. Feels really nice. She should do that more often. I'll make it a decree. As future chief your hand should be in my hair 12 out of 24 hours in a day. I hope no one- oh gods I need air... oxygen is yummy. And necessary. I hope she's not mad- oh she's not. I love her."

PercyJackson

"Huzzah!! I have won yes yes yes! This is great, I love this. And we're in a bubble under the lake no one can get us of find us and embarrass us... that would be really crazy honestly... ooh what kind of fish was that? I wonder if the fish ever get confused when I'm down here... oh she has cherry gloss on... yummy... cherry... cherry pie... blueberry pie is better. Just because it's blue. If every food was blue, life would be so much better- FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS- oh we're done. ... I want more."

Octavian

"...this is new... I don't know how to feel... my heart is racing and my face feels hot and... gods she's gorgeous... I wasn't prepared for this I didn't see this in my premonitions...I've never kissed anyone before... I wonder if I'm doing this right... she seems to enjoy it I guess. I'm also enjoying it... I did not understand why campers always wanted to kiss their partners until now... however I still think it is inappropriate and unnecessary to be making out in public. Shameless. At least my girl knows better... waited till we were in private and asked. I love her... she makes me happy... oh yeah oxygen."

Dick Grayson

"Okay Grayson, not the first time you've kissed someone... kissed a few people. Guys girls... but this is... different... it's like... fireworks are going off and my heart is beating out of my chest... she's amazing. She asked before she kissed me... I think that's the first time anyone has ever done that... her hands feel nice on my face... her nails on my scalp... just feels nice. And she's so warm. Makes me forget about everything... about how I'm late for patrols...about the freezing weather Bats is making me go out in... Bruce would never- oh right she needs to breathe. Not all of us were trained by Batman."

Jason Todd

"How do I tell her this is the first time I've kissed anyone?! Without sounding lame... she's so soft... I love squeezing her... she's so plush and sweet.. oh shit... I just knocked my head on hers... oh she just smiling... she's not mad. Okay... she keeps checking in... she's so sweet... no one's ever cared this much... how do I tell her anyway? Hey so remember that I died at 15, got brought back and trained with the LOA for a while until now which I'm 19, meaning I missed out on my core childhood experiences- oh shit... she's... oh she just blushing... and panting..? Oh right she can't hold her breath that long..."

Damian Wayne

"Well... while unexpected... it's not unpleasant nor is it unwelcome. I hope Grayson doesn't walk in, I'll never hear to end of it... unless the fact I have a girlfriend I can kiss would tick him off, in which case, yes. He may. I'm not one for physical contact but this is really nice... It’s soft. Not all consuming… which makes me happy… she’s soft… always asks… I haven’t a clue why… but it’s nice to feel like I have a choice for once. I wish I could stay here all night… would father even let me skip patrols to spend time with her? I wish- oh. Right. Air.”

Tim Drake

“Science says kissing burns calories and if this is how good kisses feel then I’m going to be soooo skinny by the time we’re married. Mhm mhm… okay… what am I supposed to be thinking about during a kiss anyway? Is it like… blank? Or can I think of other things… like how Damian slipped on ice and fell this morning- oh great I laughed into the kiss… oh she’s not mad. I love… I love…”

Luke Castellan

“I can handle this.”

…

“I can not handle this oh gods… what if I suck at kissing what if I mess up- oh damnit I just bit her… oh she’s laughing… okay let’s try this again… and if I put my hand on her face… ahh she’s so warm… so cute. I just want to squeeze her forever and ever my sweet girl…”

Grover Underwood

“Well this is how I die… not a bad way to go… probably the best way to go if I’m being honest. I love this…”

*literally after this, head empty no thoughts.*

Steven Meeks

“Maybe I should’ve read books on how to kiss girls I’m- ahhhh- this is not proper. Not at all. What am I talking about we’ve been going out for months… well maybe the fact I snuck her in and we are kissing on my bed in the dorm when Pitts could walk in at any time… but still… she tatted good… smells good too… probably cuz of the ice cream we had… I’m glad i get to have her… I’m glad she chose me…”

Neil Perry

*head empty no thoughts except ‘I love her so much’*

[alexsl-universe]

Neighbor Bucky

Summary: You just moved in a new place, you don't know much about the place but a guy catches your eye when you need some help, maybe the hot guy with the large toolbox can help you more than you think

Warnings: Friends to lovers, SMUT +18, piv, safe sex, spanking, Dom!Bucky but a little, cum play kinda? (I don't know how to call what they did) let me know if i missed anything.

Paring: Handyman!Bucky x Reader

Prompt: I4 “Neighbors”

Word count: 4.179

A/N: Hello, I know I'm not very creative with the titles but I'm trying really, tell me what you thinked about this chapter is my first time posting a smut, please be gentle and enjoy :) None of those pictures are mine i just got them from Pinterest, I only did the dividers.

It starts simple, you needed some tools and your neighbor always walk with some toolboxes so you decide to go and ask him. You take some courage and go knock on his door.

“Hi I’m your next door neighbor, my name is Y/N, I see you walking with some toolboxes and I need to build a shelf but I don’t have any, can you borrow me some?” you say as he opens his door, you smile to him too

“Sure, give me a minute so grab them” he says leaving his door open and you stay outside to not invade his private place

You can see a bit of his house, very clean and tied up, some toys on the floor you assume is for a cat.

“Ready to go” he says getting in front of you

“Thank you very much” you say extending your arm to grab the box

“I will help you, don’t worry” he says holding your hand

“You don’t have to, I have some experience with it I just don’t have tools anymore as I just move in” you explain to him

“No biggy, I have some free time and two is better to make it faster” he says smiling gently, you hope he isn’t some weird serial killer

“T-thanks” you say smiling gently at him

And he is right, you two did everything in lee then an hour, you alone would take way more then it, with the shelf in place you too sit on your living room floor to rest a bit

“Thank you Bucky, I didn’t think this would be this more hard to do build” you say looking at him

During this time you talked a lot and learned more about each other, you learned that he has a business with his friend Steve doing some woodwork, general fixes and things like this, they are in it for quite some time.

“No problem, I’m next door if you need anything” he says smiling at you wiping the sweat from his forehead “And if you don’t mind I can fix the door on the kitchen cabinet, it looks a bit loose” he says pointing to the cabinet you really thing looked a bit weird

“You already helped me a lot, no need to stress with it” you say really not wanting to take much of his time

“No I really have the day off and nothing planned to do” he says looking at you

“You really don’t mind? You can enjoy your day off with some other thing than working more”

“After I fix the cabinet I go” he says standing up and going to the kitchen

And after the cabinet door is fixed, your closet door, the crooked mirror on the bathroom, some doors that needed some oil, you two are in the kitchen table, which is not crooked anymore, eating some pizza in the end of the afternoon

“Dude you were awesome today, thank you very much, I own you one” you say eating another piece of the slice in your hand

“Don’t worry, it’s more a instinct of mine, folks around the here already know I’m kind of a handyman here” he says swallowing his drink

“Good I’m your next door neighbor, I’m a really unlucky person with those things” you say joking and grabbing your drink

“Really lucky” he says smiling at you “You have my number so just text me and I will come here to help you”

“I promise I won’t take advantage of your good will, and if you get tired of me just say it”

“I think it’s hard for me to get tired of you, I really liked your company” he says biting his pizza and making you get a bit flushed

“I really liked you company too” you say shyly

Then you two stayed talking for a long time, until both of you had to rest for work tomorrow.

After a few days you got finally some time to thank him, you baked one of your best dessert, a strawberry cake with white chocolate ganache on it, and you take to him, you hold the cake with one hand and knock at his door with the other, to your surprise he opens the door shirtless, it was summer but it was definitely unexpected, and for dear God his body looked like a Greek statue

"I-i b-bring it f-for y-you" you say stuttering and with a total red face and giving him the cake

"Thank you, but no need" he says grabbing the cake

"I wanted to thank you for helping me" you say smiling "And I need to go back i have a important meeting soon so see ya"

You say running back to your apartment, you haven't had so many impure thoughts about someone right in front or you, his shirtless form stay in your head all day, at night when your shift ends you decide to give in to your impure thoughts a help yourself with your sex toys, putting the tv very loud and wishing it was him on top of you.

After a few more days for your luck your ac brakes, you're sweating a lot, and after the ac company didn't help you call Bucky to help you out, not much after he knocks at your door.

"Thank you so much I'm melting in here"

You say opening the door and letting him in, he looks at you for some long seconds

You're wearing a blue crop top and a gray shots, as it's very hot today, your clothes are a bit wet by the amount of sweat you've been

"No biggie, I don't know how you haven't faint yet" he says getting into your apartment "Yours stay in the same place as the others?" He asks

"I think so?" You say not knowing what he means

"Generally is in the balcony, if not it's in a different place hard to reach"

He says going into the balcony and the ac really is in there

"I will give a quick look, if you want you can stay in mine as I fix yours"

He says taking some tools from the box he was holding, you look at him and he is wearing a gray shirt, denim shorts and his work boots.

"I will stay and help you" you say smiling

"If you want I don't mind, i can give you my keys and you can chill with my cat" Oh so it was cat toys that you saw the other day

"I won't invade her space, it would be weird a sweat stranger appear at her house" you say looking at him

"If you insist, we just need to turn off the energy, if you have something on better just turn it off, just in case something happens" he says grabbing some gloves and putting on "Can I go to the power board?"

"Sure, you know my apartment better than i do, go ahead i will just turn off my computer" you say going to you office and turning it off then go back to the kitchen

"I will turn it off and you help me by giving me some tools, okay?" He ask looking at you

"Okay" you say and he turns off the lights and heads outside "So, your cat stays alone at home a lot? She must miss you so much"

"Not so much, she has her toys and like to watch the birds in coop that i did for her, besides she looks at everyone in the building, such a gossip lady" he says opening the back part of the ac to look "But I miss her a lot, every day she comes to cuddle with me when I got home, makes work worthy" he says grabbing a tool and taking a screw off opening more

"I can relate, I had one when living with my parents, she waited for me every day to come home from school, when I arrived earlier for some reason she looked confused to me but come to cuddle on my lap anyway" you laughed looking he do something on the AC

"They don't show love like dogs but they love us anyway, but in their own way" he says looking confused at something inside there "Can you grab me a slim screwdriver with a blue cable please?" He asks not looking away from the inside of the ac, you're not sure it you got the right tool so you show him

"This one?" You ask showing at him

"Yes thanks" he says grabbing it and unscrewing something in there "It's simple, some loose wires and a very dirty filter making it overheat, the former owner probably didn't clean it, but I recommend you changing it as soon as possible, if I had any in hand I would do that for you but we need to order it and it takes like 15 days to arrive" he says taking the filter off and shaking a bit "Can you hold the screws please?"

"Sure" you say holding your hand for him to put them on

"If you want must be some empty boxes in there, it's a lot of screws and I need to take them all off" he says with the filter in hand and and looking better at it "I will order a new one for you this week, this has the date of ten years ago, not even i lived in here back there"

"Oh my god, how i didn’t had an allergic reaction to it? Must have some pretty old diseases" you say a bit shocked

"Got here in time then" he says smiling and grabbing a large brush to clean it a bit

"Hey my job is to give you the tools, let me useful for you" you say joking

"Sorry I'm used to work alone, so I always try to manage everything" he says smiling "But you're doing a amazing job holding the screws"

"Of course, you only take them off my dead cold hands, or hot dead hands since it is very hot" you joke laughing "But you don't work with your friend Steve sometimes?"

"Not much, only if it is a two person job, or another buddy of us comes to help if something is more specific" he says waving the dust away from you "Can you put it back in place please?" He asks giving you the brush

"Sure" you say grabbing and putting in his tool box "Your partner must get bothered with you going in the house of other woman's"

"Alfine doesn't mind, only if I smell like other cats, she will hiss and everything" he says putting the filter back on "You can give me the screws one at the time when I hold my hand for you please?" He says and you give him one

"I was talking more of a lover, I had boyfriends who get really annoyed just because I worked with other guys" you say giving him one more as he hold his hand for you

"Oh, I'm single, or like my other friend says, crazy cat dude, even if I just have one" he says laughing "And your boyfriend don't mind if I'm here?" He ask holding his hand again for you

"I'm single too, my only partner at the moment is my work computer, we got in some pretty heated arguments sometimes" you laughed, because of your joke and for knowing he is single

"I can say the same for Alfine, we got some very serious arguments, mostly because one day she was able to break the coop kill a bird and bring back home" he says laughing "Sometimes I think she learned how to use my tools and open things, that cat get me in so much trouble sometimes" he says and you give him the last screw

"I get that, but mine is more arguing because my computer froze in the middle of a big project"

"Maybe is his way of telling you to get some rest" Bucky says reaching for a black tape on his shorts and cutting a piece "This will work for the loose wire, unfortunately electrical parts is not my strong point"

"No problem, just please don't make it explode" you say joking to him and he laughs

"I promise it won't" he says closing the ac "All set, when the new filter arrive I will come and change for you" he says putting everything in place and takes his gloves off

"Dude, thank you so much, tell me after how much the new filter is so I can pay you" you say smiling to him

"I accept another one of those desserts you made, it was delicious" he says smiling while putting his things back in place

"Of course, but you can't pay the filter with a dessert" you say laughing

"For you a dessert is enough, really, Steve came to my house other day and ate a piece, dude almost punch me to know where I got it, just didn't say it was from you cause I don't know if you sell them or take orders" he says with his tool case in hands "if you do I would be more than happy to order some and pay for it" you smile to him

"I don't do orders in a long time, I did back in my college time to help with the bills and everything, but if you want something specific just ask and I can make it for you" you say putting a hand on his arm

"Anything from you would be delicious" he says smiling "But feel free to do what you like the most, I don't eat much sweets and we could share"

"No problem, I will make you something very good" you say smiling to him, already planning how you can get more things from him

"I will wait anxiously for it" He says "I will go now so I don't bother you much, anything you need just call me" he says going to the power board to turn the lights on again

"You never bother me, you literally help me so much" you say following him to your apartment door after he turned everything on again

"Can say the same about you" he says smiling and opening the door "See ya, have a nice day" he says getting out of the door and heading to his apartment

"Have a nice day too" you say as he goes to his apartment

You start to plan how to get him back in here, but this time for something more spicy.

You decide to use the bathroom light, it's already kinda weird anyway, so burn it won't be hard, you already own a burned lamp and a new one won't be too expensive.

After everything perfectly planned you decide to put it to work, one night you would go take a bath and the light would start to flick, you would get scared and call him, so he would come while you were wearing only a towel around your body, he would easily fix it, and stay a bit longer cause of course you did another dessert and wanted to share with him.

It would be easier to just tell him you like him? Maybe but what is the fun in it?

After everything ready you start you plan, letting everything ready for your plan

"I'm so sorry to call you this late, but my bathroom light looks weird and just stopped working and I'm a bit scared it can happen something to me" you explain better to him while you open your front door to him, with only the towel around your body

"No biggy, maybe is just something easy to fix" he says looking at bit more to you, just like the other day

And as planned he just says it needs to be changed and how convenient you had one extra on the house? After he fixed it you want to thank him with a piece of cake you just did.

"Thank you so much Bucky" you say with your hand on his arm while he was by your side eating a piece of the cake

"I'm always here to help with anything you need" he says smiling to you after finishing eating the piece you gave to him

"Anything really?" You say smirking to him "There is one thing I really need you help" you say putting one of your hands on the edge of the towel

"Just say and I wi-" you take the towel off and letting him see you fully naked in front of him making him stop talking

"I wanted to know if you can fuck me really good?" You say smiling to him, who is till looking shocked at you

"I-i would l-love to" he says after a few seconds

"Good, my room is on the left and I have condoms, I'm really horny right now" you say sitting on his lap and starting to kiss him, who kisses you back with much desire to you

"I've been dreaming about it for so long" he says getting up making you wrap your legs around his waist and squeezing your ass, you can feel he is getting horny too

"Choose how and my body is yours" you say biting his neck

He put you in bed and start to undress himself, making you want to play with your pussy

"No, tonight only I touch there" he says holding your hand above your head

"Yes Sir" you say intertwining your fingers together and letting it on top of your head

"Good, where are the condoms?" He ask taking his pants and underwear off so you can see his very hard dick

"Top drawer" you say pointing to the bedside table on your right

He opens and see not only the condoms but also your sex toys

"None of those made you feel good?" He says grabbing a silver package and laughing looking at your toys

"Yes, but I was thinking about you so why not go and get what I want?" You say looking at him

"Good cause I was getting tired of only using my hand while thinking of you" he says opening the package and putting on him, almost making you drool, then he gets on top of you "If is too much we can stop, I don't mind, but I really want to break your bed tonight" he say and starting to kiss you

"Feel free to break it, I'm going to call you to fix it anyway" you say biting his lip and he smiles

He looks at you while slowly getting inside of you, waiting to see if you're liking this and he is not hurting you, making you moan with pleasure

"So fucking tight, gonna get addicted to you" he says growing in your ear which makes you moan more "Keep moaning to me, it's music to my ears" he says starting to move in and out slowly

"Harder please" you say wanting more, not just from his trusts, you also want to touch him, feel him more

"As you wish" he says smiling and going faster now, more deeper and faster on you, making you moan even more louder "I love your moans, such a pretty sound from a naughty girl" he says kissing your neck

"You're fucking me so good, I can't hold them" you say between moans

"Don’t hold them, I want to hear every. Single. One. Of. Them" he says trusting harder between each word, biting your neck, moaning and praising you.

You're all given to the pleasure, he is fucking you so good you only smile and moan, harder he goes more pleasure you got, he also getting so much pleasure, you can tell by how he moans your name, you want more and more contact with him, you hug him screeching his back

"Fuck keep doing that, mark me I'm all yours" he says moaning in your ear "I'm going to mark you as mine too" he says and you moan loving the idea

"S-so g-good" you say moaning while he bites your neck "g-gonna c-cum" you say hugging him tighter to you

"Go ahead Doll, cum for me, let me feel you come on my dick" he says lowering one of his hands and playing with your clit

It doesn't take long for your orgasm comes, you moan very loud his name, the pleasure he gave you no one else had given to you, holding him as close as you can to your body so this moment last longer

"Liked that Doll? I did just like you wanted?" He says keep thrusting more slowly now on you

"So fucking much!" You say breathless

"Can we do another position? I really want to do some spanking on you" he says kissing your neck and moving in and out of you slowly

"Only if you leave your hand marked on me" you say pulling him to a kiss

"Of course, tomorrow will be hard for you to sit properly" he says after the kiss, getting out of you and kneeling on the bed

You turn around getting your ass up in the air and, perfect for him to do what he wants with you, he gives you a smack in the ass and go back inside you

"Fuck you look so hot like this Doll" he says smacking your ass again and going harder on you "Can I pull your hair?" He asks with his hand going upper on your body

"Yes please" you say already cock drunk by him

He grab a fist full of your hair and pulling towards him, with his other hand he controls your waist movements, he is going fast and hard, hitting every sweet spot inside you, occasionally smacking you add with his hand, making you moan even more

"B-Bucky... it's s-" you try to say but he gives your ass a smack "s-so g-good" you say smiling to him

"Want more Doll? Harder in here" he says pulling your hair "Or in here?" He says going faster on you

"Harder i-inside m-me" you say moaning

"With pleasure" he say going harder on you, letting go of your hair and putting both of his hands on your hips

You feel your eyes roll with pleasure, you moan his name louder and louder, you feel your climax building up, but it's so good you can't even say to him, but he can feel it

"Love when your pussy squeeze my cock when you come" he says going slowly on you, the only thing you can do is smiling to him and catching your breath

"Can i... can I see you come please?" You say still a bit breathless, trying to not collapse on the bed

"Where do you want me to come?" He says getting out of you and and helping you to turn around to face him

"Can i suck you? I want to taste you" you say breathless but you really want to taste him

"Doll i don't think you can do that, you look so tired" he says caressing your face

"I can, just..." you say trying to get up but not being able to do so "Okay maybe I can't, but I want to see you come"

"I can come on your boobs, what you think?" He says taking off the condom

"Yes please" you say smiling and holding yourself on your elbows so he can see you more

He gets closer to you, he starts to jerk off in front of you, he is looking at you and smiling, he looks so fucking hot like this

"Can I touch your boobs?" He ask not stopping the motions with his hand

"I'm all yours" you say smiling to him

He start to play with your boobs with his free hand, making you moan with him, it doesn't take much for him to come on you, moaning very loudly your name

"Definitely the best view ever" you say smiling to him

"I can say the same, you look so pretty covered with my cum" he lowers himself to kiss you and lay next to you "So, how did you got that broken lamp? I know it didn’t brake there" he ask looking at you

"How did you know?" You ask looking to him

"It would leave a pattern around the nozzle of burned in there" he says caressing your face "I just want to know so you don't hurt yourself trying that again, but I'm glad you did it, I wouldn't like to be anywhere else beside here"

"Does it matter now? I would have to fake another broken lamp so you come here and fuck me?" You say to him smiling

"You only need to ask and i will make you forget all your problems" he says smiling and kissing you

[revelboo]

So every once in a while my guitar teacher puts on a casual recital for his adult students

He put one on today and I performed the Transformers Animated theme song (and the folk song "Black is the Colour"). Also bc my guitar teacher is the goat, in the one empty space in the recital program he put a picture of TFA Soundwave playing the guitar bc he knows Soundwave is my favourite

Now I get to learn the Soundwave theme from Transformers Devastation! Or at least part of it

Anyway I hope you are well and I am here to please request a continuation of Wicked Walk please 💙 We appreciate you! 💠

Nice! Your teacher sounds awesome 💕

🔞 Mass displaced mech 🌶️

Wicked Walk Pt 4

Wheeljack x Reader, Soundwave x Reader

• Venting as he rolls onto his side, still tangled in you, Wheeljack curls an arm around you, palm splayed against your spine as you wiggle closer and he focuses on the feel of your heart beating. One of your thighs hooks over his as his spike pulses inside you and he can almost pretend this is the Ark, you’re both lying in his berth. Hurting at how wrong this is and not understanding why you’re not furious with him for getting you both captured, for not being strong enough to protect you. Brushing his helm against you, his mask retracts so he can ghost his lips over your face. Feeling your little hands holding onto him like you’re afraid to let go as you rock against him. “He hasn’t interrogated you in days,” you whisper against his jaw and his optics shutter.

• “I know,” he growls, voice resigned and you miss him smiling, so cheerfully optimistic about everything even when an invention literally blew up in his face. Feel him press a kiss against your temple, servos threading through your hair when he cups the back of your head. Want to ask him how much longer he thinks you both have, hands trembling slightly, but you can’t say the words. Because if the Decepticon has everything he needs? Wheeljack can be ransomed for energon or supplies. Unless they plan to keep him and force him to invent for them, you’re of no value except to force his compliance. But if they decide to ransom him? You’re worthless to them. “It would have been better if I never met you, never found you. If-” Leaning up, you kiss him, cutting off that line of thought. Because you don’t regret him. You love him too much for that. Don’t want to think about what’s going to happen, just want to hold him and feel. Pretend this is okay when you’re so scared and stressed. Moving against him, needing to focus on anything but this awful situation.

• Head turning from his console, Soundwave rumbles. At it again? You two tangling, fragging so much it’s almost offensive. And addictive. Knows he’s spending too much time eavesdropping on the Autobot, almost always has a thought tapped into Wheeljack now so he doesn’t miss anything. Doesn’t miss you. Sinking deeper into the Autobot’s mind, you’re tangled in him, moving against him, wet heat wrapped around his spike. “I can’t lose you,” Wheeljack groans, mouth chasing the line of your jaw as he moves urgently against you to make you gasp. Make those sweet, needy sounds for him as you cling to him. A moment of alarm jangling through him when the Autobot shifts his plating and Soundwave feels the shape of the thought he just had. Chair overturning as he shoves up, he’s striding for the cells. To stop the Autobot before it’s too late. Shoulder hitting the wall at the euphoric rush of his spark tangling in you, and even second hand, it almost brings him to his knees. Feels the Autobot coaxing, begging. Wanting all of you as Soundwave shudders and pushes off from the wall. You can’t, you’re his. Stumbling to a stop when you surrender, let the Autobot claim you completely, moving against you, inside you as you whimper Wheeljack’s name. And Soundwave vents raggedly, side of his fist smacking the wall as he trembles in anger.

• Shuddering against you as he overloads, he doesn’t want to separate from you. Just wants to stay like this, intertwined so thoroughly in each other it’s hard to tell where you begin and he ends. Growling a warning when the cell door opens, his head lifts slightly, frame trembling. Waiting as Soundwave stares at him to make sure the Decepticon understands what’s he’s done before ending the connection and shifting his plating. With his visor and battle mask, it’s impossible to tell what the mech is thinking, but Wheeljack is positive the Decepticon is furious. But now, as long as they need him, they can’t hurt you. Hopes he’s right and they do need him.

• Peeking over Wheeljack’s shoulder at Soundwave, the Decepticon’s head turns slightly. Staring at you. Breath catching, you press your face against Wheeljack’s neck. Because with his visor glowing, Soundwave looks more sinister than usual. You wonder if it’s that you’re allied with the Autobots, sleeping with Wheeljack, or human that he hates the most. He must despise you to stare at you like that, servos slowly flexing at his sides.

• You’re hiding from him against the Autobot and he’s tempted to drag the little mech away from you so you can’t hide. Because you were meant to be his, he loves you. Furious at your betrayal, his attention slides to Wheeljack, because really, this is his fault. The Autobot stealing you from him. Had been considering removing the mech, having someone else take him away. Then comforting you, coaxing you to him. Now, he’ll need to readjust his plans. But it’s not like he was really still entertaining eliminating the Autobot. Spent so much time in his head, rifling through his thoughts and memories, he almost feels like they know each other. Almost likes the mech. And keeping the bot around and functioning will keep you happy. It’s not what he initially wanted, but he’s nothing if not adaptable.

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[mrsshabana]

𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 ♡ 𝐆𝐲𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨

⋆ ˚｡𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐲｡˚ ⋆

ꔫ‧₊ Content Gyutaroxfemale!reader, fluff, canon Gyutaro

ꔫ‧₊ Note Happy birthday @misskaorii !! I wanted to write something for your special day! I hope you have an awesome birthday because you deserve it. Thank you for being such an amazing friend and for always being my biggest cheerleader! (´｡• ᵕ •｡`)

"Silly human," Gyutaro mutters under his breath as he easily slides open your window, "Leavin' windows unlocked like this. Somethin' dangerous could easily slip inside." He chuckles to himself with a toothy grin.

He sneaks into your room with ease, glaring at you with those yellow eyes as you sleep peacefully unaware of his presence.

Normally, splatters of blood, shrieking screams, and the sound of tearing flesh would fill the room. Yes, that would be the case any other time Gyutaro slips into a human's room at night. But you aren't just any human.

You're his human.

So instead of a hungry snarl, a gentle smile tugs on his lips as he lowers onto your bed. Settling beside you on the soft mattress. His calloused hands run down the length of your arm. He isn't good at subtlety, but he's trying his best to wake you without startling you.

"Y/N," he whispers, "It's me, don't scream, ok?"

Your eyes slowly flutter open. Anyone else would be screaming right now, but you know the familiar feeling of your lover's cold hands.

"Gyutaro?" you yawn, but quickly pep up with excitement upon seeing his face.

"Mm hm," he smiles, moving a strand of your hair behind your ear, "Who else would it be?"

"I wasn't expecting you to come tonight," you blush.

"What do you mean?" he furrows his brows in confusion, "I love you, but you still are a human, I guess. So being stupid is unavoidable..."

"Hey!" You playfully hit his chest. His teasing is nothing new, but over the months you've been dating the demon boy, you've come to learn it's his way of flirting with you.

"It's true! You really thought I wouldn't come visit my favorite human on her birthday?" he grins and ruffles your hair, "Stupid girl."

"My birthday...?" Your eyes widen as you look over at the calendar. How could you have forgotten? You've been so stressed with everything going on in your life that your birthday coming up didn't even cross your mind. But Gyutaro, the man-eating demon that everyone in the district fears, he remembered. And not only did he remember, he came to see you right at midnight so he could be the first to wish you a happy birthday.

"How did I forget my own birthday..." you sigh.

"Hey, it's alright. Don't worry about it," Gyutaro says, his tone softer now, "That's why you got me, right? I'll never forget such an important date." He leans forward and kisses your cheek.

"Thanks Gyu, you're so sweet." Your eyes well up with tears as you look up at him.

"Hey hey, don't get all emotional on me now. Not before I give you your gift."

"You didn't have to get me anything. Just spending time with you is more than enough for me," you try to protest, but he isn't having any of it.

"Save it, sweetie. I know you're excited about your gift. Humans love presents," he says teasingly as he fishes something out of his pocket, "Close your eyes."

You can't help but smile, giddy with excitement as you close your eyes and hold out your hands. You feel something small and metallic hit your fingers. As soon as you feel it, you can immediately tell that it's a necklace.

"Alright, you can open 'em."

Upon opening your eyes, you see that you were right. It's a silver necklace with a heart-shaped charm. But the charm looks a bit strange. A little larger than a usual charm, and it has a clasp similar to what you'd see on a locket. You go to open it, but Gyutaro quickly grabs your hand, stopping you.

"Don't open it!" he says, almost panicking, "This isn't a normal necklace, Y/N. I-It has my blood in it."

Your eyes widen, "Your blood? But why?" You aren't ungrateful, not at all. You actually adore the gift, but you don't know why he'd put something like his blood into this necklace.

Gyutaro gently holds your hands in his as he looks into your eyes. His usually teasing demeaner gone, and replaced by something fragile and honest.

"I know I can't protect you all the time... but the thought of not having you by my side... I just can't bear it. I know we talked a little bit 'bout you becomin' a demon one day. So I wanted to give you the opportunity to do that. Whenever you feel like you're ready. It ain't gotta be now, or anytime soon if you don't want it to be..." he trails off for a moment.

He takes a deep breath before he speaks again. His voice quivers as if it's hard for him to be so honest about his feelings, "I love you a lot, ok? I never had somethin' like this before... no one's ever loved me like you do. N' I wanna feel this way forever. So yeah..."

He nervously scratches the back of his neck as he trails off again. He's not very good with words nor is he used to talking about his feelings, but he hopes you'll understand.

"Gyutaro... thank you," you can't hold back your tears anymore as you lunge forward and hug him tightly. Nuzzling your face against the birthmark on his chest.

Gyutaro holds you close, kissing the top of your head as he tries not to get too emotional himself.

"I want to be with you forever too... this means so much to me," you sniffle as you depart from the hug and put the necklace around your neck.

With a smile plastered across his face, he gently wipes your tears away with his thumb. "Heh, good cuz if you didn't take it I would have to kill you." He says playfully, trying to lighten the mood with his dark humor.

You chuckle and push him down onto the bed, cuddling up to him. The demon falls back onto your pillows with a huff. Not used to humans being so bold with him. But he doesn't dislike it.

"Whatever Gyu, you can't fool me! I know you're a big softy now," you tease.

He rolls his eyes and scoffs, "Tsk, whatever. Just wait till you become a demon, I won't be so gentle with you then."

"Sure you will. I have a feeling you'll still treat me like a princess."

He wraps his arms around you and holds you flush against him, "Fine, you got me there," he softly kisses you before whispering, "But seriously. Happy birthday, my love... may we celebrate many more together."

[novantinuum]

Steven's Breakdown Was Inevitable From the Very Beginning

I feel like the thing that fucks me up the most about Steven Q. Universe and how well conceived he is as a character is that the fundamental building blocks of why he reached his breaking point in SU: Future were laid out as clear as day in the span of legit only the first four episodes of the original show. The writing was literally always on the wall that future him would struggle with matters of self worth and identity in relationship to the others around him.

Let's take a look:

Gem Glow

"Awesome! What are these things?"

Foundational Trauma #1: Steven's home is always either under threat or actively being wrecked by antagonistic forces/beings, and he constantly copes with this by pushing down his fear in favor of a curiosity and silver linings based mindset.

Look at his initial shock when he opens the door and gets tackled by one of these things, and then his response when one of them spits acid:

The kid's freaked the hell out about all this, and while I do think there's a part of Steven that genuinely IS curious about what these lil critters are, I think he's subconsciously using that curiosity as a way to distract himself from his own fears and anxieties. This is Steven actively learning how to ignore the deeper problems in favor of emoting a facade to the others in his life that he can totally handle himself in scary situations like these.

The underlying reason why is incredibly apparent, when you look at the example from the next episode-

Laser Light Canon

"I don't know what a magic lady like her ever saw in a plain old dope like me..."

Genuinely- from the bottom of my heart- I think the above quote from Greg is a moment where his own insecurities around the Gems actually rubbed off on Steven.

At this point in time, Steven may be living with the Gems... but he hasn't started to harness any of his powers at all, so in his own head he might as well be the same as his dad- another human, just one who happens to have a gem! But the way Greg talks about himself... given Steven was living with him in the van for years before moving in to the beach house, he had to have heard negative self-talk from his dad like this before.

And then there's the rest of the Crystal Gems... always speaking of Rose with such reverence as if she were an all-powerful goddess... and Steven can't help but look back at himself, and his gem that won't work... the gem that the others still identify as Rose's...

"Your gem-! You have Rose's gem!"

And maybe he starts to wonder if- without any working powers- he's just a plain ol' dope like his Dad, too.

"Please work... Unlock! Activate! Go! Please-!! Everyone's counting on you, you can't just be useless!"

Foundational Trauma #2: Steven has Rose's gem, and as such, is constantly living under the silent expectation to live up to a standard that he simply cannot ever hope to achieve, because he doesn't KNOW her and he never will.

I want to highlight one of Steven's expressions while his dad is talking about Rose- look at that sad look. My god, I just wanna hug him. This is the expression of a child who has already come to terms with the fact that his only relationship with his mom is through the rose tinted stories that other people tell him about her.

Cheeseburger Backpack

So. Steven has learned so far that he needs to push down his feelings and emote a false veneer of cheer and bravery even when he's afraid, because the rest of the people in his life have expectations and hopes for him due to the legacy of his parentage and he can't bear the thought of letting them down. (And in a sad way, at this point "letting them down" literally just means... being an ordinary human boy. I believe Steven at this stage of the show is flat out scared to be human, because to be human is to fail at being a Gem, and no amount of love and sacrifice in the name of humanity in the seasons to come could've ever saved him from the fundamental fact that the wedge between him and this whole half of his being was already drawn long before the events of season 1 even started. But I digress.)

Let's see where we go from there. Let's check out Steven's first "mission." Or as Pearl puts it about 35 episodes later, his first "test."

"Yeah... they can't all be winners."

This episode is tinted with a little bit of tragedy for me on rewatch, because I genuinely do think the Gems handled the situation as well as they could've. They were supportive of Steven's successful ploys, and (for the most part) responded with grace when he majorly blundered and left the Goddess Statue at home. The main problem, however, is that Steven has already developed a bit of a complex about impressing the three of them-

Foundational Trauma #3: Even when they claim otherwise, Steven has convinced himself that affection from the Gems is transactional, and that when he messes up he's not truly a part of the Crystal Gems.

Of course we the audience know this isn't true- I mean, hell, Amethyst even said as much in episode one after her slip-up ("and you're fun to have around, even if your gem IS useless!")... that the Crystal Gems wouldn't be the same without him. But Steven... the poor kid is a complicated little guy living a complicated life, and whether they intended it or not, the language used they've used around him thus far has not backed up their attempts at fully embracing him, human parentage and all.

Thus, Steven just spends the entire episode wracked with anxiety trying to find creative non-power using ways to make the mission easier so he can convince them he's useful to have around.

Look how nervous he gets even when all three of them are visibly and vocally supportive of his presence here:

This is the face of a boy who feels like he's under constant judgement and scrutiny from those around him.

Blessedly, viewing this episode in isolation, he experiences a brief moment of mental respite where he finally accepts the Gems' encouragement and agrees that his ideas 'can't all be winners,' but this lesson does not stick for him moving forward. A shame, really.

Together Breakfast

"What's the matter, Steven?" "I wanted us all to have breakfast together, so I made Together Breakfast! But everyone keeps leaving..." "Oh, that's nice..."

Taken in context with what we've learned already in the last three episodes, Steven's desperation to spend quality time with the Gems here and his sadness that they keep leaving him alone doesn't just exist within a vacuum. He spends the whole morning watching them shuffle in and out of the temple, or come back from missions he wasn't invited on, and with the disastrous result of the LAST mission he went on probably fresh in his mind it's not hard to understand why this bothers him.

Foundational Trauma #4: Steven internalizes that the price of "not being useful" is that the Gems actively ignore him, meaning that the only way to guarantee their attention is to work as hard as he can to become a stronger member of the team.

I know this screenshot is usually used as a lighthearted meme, but I wanted to include it because I think it's a good example of how Steven's intense desire to impress permeates every facet of his personality at times. Just LOOK at how desperate he is to make Garnet laugh at his joke, to be the one that's at very least "fun to have around," as Amethyst put it in episode one.

The Gems do eventually drop what they're doing to spend time with Steven by the conclusion of this episode, but this only comes after Steven shows his growing strength and "proves" himself by saving their butts from the breakfast monster.

If he successfully gained their attention in literally any other way he might've come away from this episode with a different lesson, but no. Instead, his fears were proven true- the Gems value strength and utility, and if he's not exhibiting that, then what use is he to them?

These fears of his can be seen weaving throughout the foundational fabric of the entire show, but I think Steven lays out what he sees as his "stakes" in the clearest way possible in the episode 'An Indirect Kiss.'

"But- if I don't have powers, then I can't hang out with Amethyst, or Garnet, o-or Pearl, and- I-I can't go on missions!"

And these same insecurities even rear their ugly head as late as the movie.

"I can't believe this... for the first time in years, everyone's in danger, everybody needs me, and- I'm useless!"

Powers = Utility = Worth = Other's love, for Steven. Everything is transactional to the end, which is a hilarious double standard he's set for himself when he's made his reputation as the kid who always listens and encourages and gives others a chance to change, no matter their messy history with him.

__

So let's recap and restate those foundational traumas from Steven's perspective.

One: The only way to cope when your life is constantly under threat is to bury the damage and pretend to be fine.

Two: Everyone expects you to live up to the standards of someone you're not.

Three: The Gems only love you when you're of use to them.

Four: If you ever stop being useful, the Gems won't want anything more to do with you.

In sum, Steven's habit of burying his feelings for the benefit of others was there from the very beginning, not just since 'The Test.'

Those unreachable standards he felt so daunted and intimidated by all his life were the ones set by Rose, at first... but over the course of the series, the dynamic of this shifted. As Rose's influence fell into the background, Steven's rose into the front. And so it's with great irony that- by the time of Steven Universe: Future, the expectations this exhausted, worn down teenager is fighting to once again achieve are the ones HE set for himself. Many of young Steven's selfless actions during the war are quite admirable when analyzed in isolation, but almost none of them are sustainable. He set himself on fire just to save the world, but teen Steven is genuinely unable to see this for what it is yet- as a tragic sacrifice of his own childhood. You can't burn your own ends for others forever, not at all. His breakdown was simply inevitable.

When it comes to the interconnected beliefs three and four, these are exactly why the ultimate confrontation at the end of I Am My Monster HAD to be one fueled by selfless love. Steven is at his absolute lowest at this point- he's everything he fears he's become, trapped in a form that's nearly incapable of reason. He's big and angry and spiky because that's a part of the facade- because a part of him WANTS to scare the Gems away, wants to be left alone forever, believing this the fate he deserves as price for his misdeeds.

In this form, by his own definitions he is NOT useful to the Crystal Gems at all.

But they don't care.

Because it never WAS about Steven's 'usefulness' to them, they simply love him for being Steven.

With this in mind, the conclusion of Steven Universe: Future wasn't just a salve to teen Steven's immediate struggles, it was a salve to the foundational insecurities that have been plaguing him his entire life.

And hopefully... from this point on... his family's shows of love and encouragement will be enough to finally convince Steven that he's more than worth their time...

No matter what path the future leads him on, and no matter what form he takes.

[thehauntedetheral]

Can we get a yandere baker x reader pls?? 😭🙏 Thank you for your good stories like always

Thank you so much for your love. I hope you like this fic.

Yandere Baker

Requests are open !

• You got a new job. The same boring sitting in your cubicle and working on a screen. But the best part about your new job is a Bakery near your office.

• You were a regular customer there since the starting of your job as you have a strong sweet tooth. And on top of that their baked goods are so delicious that they are your new addiction now. They make the best pastries according to you.

• You go their everyday even on weekends as your house is near the office for their sweet treats that now the owner of the cozy bakery is your friend who always greets you with a cute smile. And not to forget that the baker himself was a treat for eyes with his apron, good looks, messy hairs and a boyish smile.

• Yan baker who has been owning this bakery for quite some years and is always busy with many customer. But you ... You are just awesome. The way your eyes sparkle while looking at all the baked goods kept at display, the way your face is glowing with a happy smile and vibes when you take the first bite of your pastry. This all makes him fall for you like a crazy.

• He always gives you freshly baked treats for free saying you are his "favourite customer."

• Always give you discount saying that this is for their all regular customers when in reality such thing doesn't exist.

• When he gets to know you love a specific pastry always make sure to bake them for you often even though it doesn't sell much.

• Bakes the most beautiful looking and delicious cake of your favourite icing and toppings for your birthday as a surprise.

• He loves weekends more because you stay at the bakery longer sipping coffee, reading book while enjoying coffee due to no office.

• One day you didn't came to the bakery which was very unusual so he goes to your house with a box of your favourites only to find out you are sick. (Yes this man and you spend time and talk so much in bakery that you both know a lot about each other even address. It's like you are best buddies.)

• Upon finding you sick he takes care of you and cook for you. This man's cooking skills are fantastic just like his baking skills.

• Names his new pastry after you. And also to mention that you were the first one to taste it.

• Yan once heard you saying that you wanted to learn baking one day. So after few weeks this man opens a baking class for afternoon weekends just for you to join. Tries his best to make you join his class.

• You asked him how all of a sudden he started classes. He only replies with "I love baking and I wanted my afternoons on weekends to get occupied by something".

• He is the happiest in the class teaching a bunch of people because you are their and his baking. His favourite person and thing to do of his under one roof.

• You and him would enjoy doing baking while dancing, singing to the music put on after class. (Some Kind of your own personal baking class 🤭). Yan would just stare looking at you doing all this thinking he is so lucky to even be near you.

• This man is so badly down for you. Your one smile or compliment on his baking he would becomes a puddle of blushing happiness .

• After mustering up enough courage he finally knocks at your door holding your favourite cake in his hand freshly baked by him and a question written with icing on it "Will you go on a date with me? Yes or absolutely yes"

• Well after all how could you say no to such a tempting offer including a delicious cake with a good looking baker holding it, right?

Requests are open!

Part 2 :

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