#but no nevermind and thank goodness

[just-some-guy-at-shiz]

When I read the novel for the first time, I was surprised that Boq and Nessa didn’t have a thing to do with each other. Fortunate for him, of course, but unexpected.

I sort of felt as though it was a missed opportunity. Mostly I agreed with the decisions made in both versions as necessary to their respective narratives. But I was bit let down that Glinda wasn’t a larger presence in the original, and I was let down that the tin man and scarecrow have absolutely no connections to Elphaba. That they’re as random as one would assume initially. We spend a good deal of time in Boq’s mind at Shiz, but then he suddenly leaves the narrative, only to return briefly, as a coincidence that could have been anyone. Glinda is quite similar. I felt like something was lost. But I know this has some intentional meaning.

The foreshadowing in the musical almost implies destiny. The way that every character appearance, every interaction, drives the plot and leads to their eventual fates. This is the way of musicals. The novel, despite Yackle’s talk early on, discards the notion of any sort of predetermination. So much happenstance. So many occurrences that just happen and then have no influence whatsoever later on. More like real life, I suppose. Not everything and everyone has some huge meaning. Sometimes things happen just to happen. Sometimes you forge bonds with people close to you and think you’ll always be connected, and then you don’t see each other, and if you ever meet again, you’re essentially strangers. You don’t have any connection, save a knowledge that you used to, and a sort of guilty obligation to revive it despite the lack of the friendship to do so in any way that matters. Just like Boq first telling Elphaba how they knew each other when they were kids. That’s the only foreshadowing in this book, hinting at the way all of these friends will be to each other with time. Sure, we may have known each other. What does it matter now? What does it matter now? What does it even mean anymore?

I wish Boq had stayed a character character in the way he was in the chapters at Shiz. Even if it does mean a tragic metallic fate for the poor guy. But I suppose with the kind of themes the novel has, he had to go on and have an unrelated life. People like Boq and Avaric, with their respective futures, are symbols of… something. Different views on evil, I suppose. Two different sides of the same coin when it comes to indifference. Boq’s indifference on the state of the world at large as long as those close to him are safe. Avaric’s indifference to morality as long as he’s entertained. Avaric’s an a-hole and he claims it proudly, but are we supposed to see Boq’s life too as evil by inaction?

Honestly, I’m happy for him. He seems to have gotten a really good ending compared to his counterpart, and escaped the unhappiness or tragedy of nearly all of his peers (moment of silence for poor Tibbett please). He’s got a family, a nice domestic life. It seems okay to me. He’s not a hero, but is it really evil not to be actively trying to do big things to make a difference? Not everyone can be a revolutionary… but is this simply my lazy, cowardly excuse-making? My projecting?

Elphaba seems to look down on him, the twice they interact in later years. She seems to look down on the fact that he’s content with his life even when the world is still f—ed up.

Is he wrong? What is he in this story?

At Shiz, he wasn’t all that morally lofty. I cite his rooftop escapade, even before he’s pressured into the philosophy club. On the whole though, he’s not a bad person, and he even helps with the whole library books thing. He makes a difference—when doing so is convenient, of course, and (far as I remember) low risk for him, and gives him something exciting to share with his friends. But better than no action at all? He had good intentions, and a better conscience than a lot of people in that friend group. He just didn’t do much with that conscience. He did a few unusually good things. He did a few rather questionable things too, honestly, and didn’t always need peer pressure for it. In his adult life, he cares about Elphaba’s causes, but takes no direct action, only passive following.

Once again he’s the Everyman. Normal life, normal future. Not a hero or a villain or even some lesser position like whatever office Avaric holds (I don’t remember). Just another average anonymous citizen. His college years the most exciting years of his life. Not remembered by history, just by those who knew him. But happy, I think.

Making a difference in the world has a price, and he chose not to pay it. It’s as simple as that.

Does this make him evil? Tell me, tell me, tell me, does this make him evil too? I need to know.

[jichanxo]

sooooo... *twirls her hair* how many asks should i send until kuwagami art. jk as well. the real question will be: does it happen often that someone else’s art inspires you? in fandom spaces specifically

well you see it’s like a loyalty card program, every 10 asks or so you get a complimentary kuwagami

just kidding you can just breathe in my direction and I’ll be tempted to draw them. kuwagami blast! (you've caught me on a... just okay art day lol)

(people still like kabedons, right?)

anyway for my actual answer: in terms of direct inspiration, it doesn't really happen much? the last two times i did art directly based on someone else's work is probably this one from this fic, and also that time i drew art of someone else's judgment au. oh! and there's that moriohpsycho art based on this comic! (filthyguts' work is so very. hgngngghh. very good.) nothing else really comes to mind, and when i think of the other things i've been into recently there hasn't been as much opportunity for that to happen...

flex and herds = strong fixation but lmao. almost nobody else made stuff about them. nobody is surprised umineko = surprisingly i don't read much umineko fanfiction? and in terms of illustration, i certainly picked up imagery and indirect inspiration but nothing concrete enough for me to give an example... now that i think about it, i did once draw andromalius from redaction/sunny, but that was years ago, and also mostly because i was acquainted with the writer. ...i don't have that artwork on hand right now death note = didn't really get involved with the fandom + i enjoyed my own ideas well enough! ...i can't recall if i drew long-hair-L art before or after seeing other artists do it. and as for everything else the same kind of reasoning applies. didn't really get involved with the fandom or wasn't really compelled to make art in response to stuff i saw, or i just don't remember anymore.

buuuuuuut if we're opening this up to just... pulling ideas from other people? then yeah, all the time, though that kind of goes without saying when you have a creative hobby. ...it's probably going to be hard to come up with examples of this since it's more ambiguous.

there's uhhhhhh... kuwana listens to nickelback which was a @/four-white-trees invention, wasn't it? (EDIT: and @/overdevelopedglasses!) (not tagging in this post so he doesn't feel obligated to read my big ass ask responses 💀) as of writing this, it's not posted but i did end up making kuwagami art based on a nickelback song so. yknow. there's that LMAO

for sawashiro and arakawa, i do sometimes go reference @/todayisafridaynight 's art to help me with my own. ("how did he draw this part of the suit? oh, like that huh? hmm" <- this kind of thing)

and um. i'm not trying to pander to you (at least not this time), but genuinely it's one of the few examples that come to mind at this moment. but when i was writing my first kuwagami fic, i could feel the influence of the ever-changing on my brain... was turning over some of your ideas there...

you remember this? (you even pointed it out in your comment on my fic, and i should've said something then, but whatever i'm saying it now)

that was absolutely because of this

(obligatory poke at anybody else reading this post that you can read passthroughtime's fic here.)

so, um. yeah. not really sure what else to add to that. pretty self evident i think. (i'm always talking about the ever-changing but i don't think i can overstate the impression it left on me at the time)

anyhow there aren't really any other examples off the top of my head! these are all recent examples so they're not so difficult to recall, but there are probably others i've forgotten...

[commsroom]

As our resident Eiffel expert, what do you think his childhood was like? As in, do you think there might be some trauma there? (Probably nothing “major”— nothing he’d think of as trauma— but I feel like it probably wasn’t entirely healthy either. Or maybe that’s just projection due to knowing someone veeery similar to Eiffel)

oh! i wrote about some of that in this post.

that line from his backstory doc - "eiffel was extremely hesitant at first, but desperate to become independent from his family and strapped for cash, he finally relented." - and what gabriel urbina said about eiffel being an unsupervised "tv is my parent" kid really defines / reinforces my perception of his childhood. like, mostly i think eiffel's parents just... weren't around. i think he was an only child, and hasn't been in contact with his family for, like, his whole adult life. he's resentful about people always forgetting his birthday in a way that makes sense if he's been holding onto that hurt since childhood. he's so used to being alone - not even being present in his own life - and he's internalized the feeling that he doesn't matter much to anyone. i think it was @books-space-things who said something to me, like, eiffel is so used to being alone, he doesn't realize how lonely he is.

most of his relevant backstory stuff with canon basis is covered in that linked post, so, on the headcanon side of things... he's got that undiagnosed / unmedicated adhd; i'm sure as a kid he was constantly getting the message, like, "i know you can do this, why don't you try harder?" and he didn't know why it was hard for him, so he thought he must just be lazy. i think he really wanted a dog, and either 1) really got his hopes up, but never got one, or 2) had a dog, but came home from school one day to find out his parents gave it away. if his parents were still together, they probably shouldn't have been. needless to say, i don't think he had a happy childhood, but i don't know if he fully recognizes the ways it was unhappy, because more than anything it was just kind of... empty? because his parents' lack of attention meant he got to like, stay up and watch movies all night on a school night, and eat junk food, and go wherever he wanted by himself, whenever he wanted... when he's talking about his childhood, sometimes he mistakes that for freedom. and that kinda ties into his pop culture escapism. but, like, he's probably got a core childhood memory of waiting for one of his parents to take him to / pick him up from something they completely forgot about. pretty much his whole life, i think eiffel's been training himself to expect disappointment.

[loppiopio]

i've been sitting on this post for a few days now and it's literally just, me making assumptions about kudos i've noticed on fics lately (particularly aci since i've been checking that fic every week for book club these past few months) and this'll make me seem more insane than i already come off but by this point. how much lower can i go?

just going from top to down as of today.

[ShibaLee] i know you from your art on here!! tumblr user shibaleeart i'm happy to see more people in potentially enjoying the stories this fandom has to offer :>

[reiscm] shizuchansmilk?? what are youuu doing here? i didn't know you read shizaya fic tbh and i was surprised to see you here suddenly, relatively recently too. does that mean you just started the fic then?? after at least a year of being in the fandom right? maybe this wasn't from your first time reading it (same) but at the very least it shows you visited it not too long ago… i may be delusional in thinking i could be a contributing factor there because, why now? it's not like i'm the only aci advocate out there but i've probably been the most vocal about it around this time soo… well whatever it is, hope you had fun with it! i'm so curious what drrr comedian shizuchansmilk thinks about hit fanfiction a cheap imitation 👁️

i'm also recognising some of the other names around here like [anonymooose] and [durarasaiki] even though i haven't the faintest idea who they might be. i've just been seeing them lately across different shizaya fics which probably means these are the people doing their shizaya fic dive around this time. i have nothing more to add there i just, think it's cool noticing the same names across fics like yeah, we all feasting on the shizaya tag rn.

[ya_boi_twink] it took me a second to recall where i'd recognised your name from and then it hit me. i knoooow you! tumblr user yaboitwink in my notifs… i appreciate you, and i'm glad you liked the things i made for it c:

[bun_o_ween] oh i know you're here because of mr crapo. i hope you guys had fun with it! i wanna take the chance to also admit that like. the moment i found out you were that sebastian writer i experienced the wildest sense of deja vu. because. i had seen your name on ao3 before. but when i checked your fics there was no way i'd read a fic from you?? so then i realised i must have recognised you... through other kudos on other fics??? dude. i must sound crazy, i have no way of proving this because i actually don't remember what fics these were i just vaguely remember it was either bsd or tgcf? that i was looking at fics for, trying to find something to sate my hunger at the time. and i just remember, noticing your name across like a few of these fics in a row and thinking "heh someone else has been going down the same rabbit hole" AND NOW I SEE YOU AND CRAPO OF SHIZAYA FANDOM HITTING IT OFF it was surreal. like. my awareness of you had zero to do with black butler, i could not have predicted that you would have been the random ao3 user i'd seen apparently enjoying some of the same fics i was not too long ago. wow.

there are like two separate flamingo related names around here [niceflamingo] and [flamingoo] which doesn't mean anything but for some reason they are standing out enough for me to want to mention them. i feel like i've seen ao3 user flamingoo in the kudos of some other fic before but idk.

[Luzki] omg hey!! twitter artist vi_138_ woah hiii funny seeing you here :0 especially like. not so long ago? since i'd imagined you would've been aware of the fandom for a while since you seem more invested in the alts than shizuo and izaya in particular? well it was cool seeing that you'd read this one, i hope ya had fun!

[frogsarefriends] right under that is artist hallucxnating >:O i know they've read the fic already but it was cool to actually recognise their kudo down here, especially since it's like. not recognisable just from the name alone, but you've shared links to this ao3 as your writing so now i know it's you. my impression is that you came into the fandom through slavhew since, i'd connected the dots at some point that you two were friends which. made a lot of sense since i noticed you both started being active around here at the same time lol. but hey!! welcome to the club :D

[7FlyingPancakes7] this is one of the ones i'd noticed earlier on during book club, i distinctly remember checking a chapter while walking home one night (because i do that i guess) then BAM what the hell?? i just see tumblr user mari-lair's ao3 appear down there, totally out of nowhere for me. for context this was a writer from the tpn fandom i recognise from like 4 years ago? idk it's been a while, i didn't talk to them much but they were active in the fandom at the time so i'm familiar with their name. i haven't been keeping up with them but last i'd seen they seemed to be into tbhk with no indication as far as i was aware that they'd shown any interest in shizaya. nothing wrong with that it was just unexpected, so i was just like woah!! how did you get here? i am so curious how they may have come across this fic, was it some rec from a friend? how familiar are they with shizaya? how invested were they in the story and characters? enough to go down more of shizaya's greatest hits? anyways, that was just a fun little small world moment for me.

[psych0tastic] hey isn't this…. axietoh? like, the artist who used to draw shizaya like 5 years ago? what are they doing here so high up the list? 🤔 i have no clue lol i still follow them because i really like their art style but i hadn't noticed their interest in shizaya resurfacing... i suppose they just haven't been too active on these socials in general. anyways their name stood out to me and i was like, wait….. well it's a shocker seeing their name so high up here, were they reading this fic for the first time there or were they revisiting it and happened to have not kudo'd it until then? well anyways, it's nice to see they've revisted the fic within the last two years at least :0 that's cool to me.

[MiyukiWynter] dude i was feeling crazy just now trying to figure out where i'd recognised this name from because i'd swwooooorn i'd seen it from somewhere like as someone on twitter?? i think i was mixing them up in my mind with unrelated (as far as i'm aware) twitter user miiyankhr but turns out they're someone who's fics i've seen in the tags before. i haven't read them myself but apparently they just posted a new one two days ago so that's crazy.

[Dodomka] heyyy it's dodo from twitter, hellooo 👋 they've been the biggest supporter for my deep in the sauce fic tweets and for that i appreciate them very much :3 didn't expect to see them here tbh i wasn't aware of when they'd first read the fic but as i was expanding the list a few times to write up this post i noticed their name here and just thought that was neat. shout-out to them!

[mochi010] there's a user named mochi that has shown up in my twitter notifs somewhat regularly and they have nothing on their account so i have zero clue what they might be like outside from that they've been liking my shizuo and izaya retweets. their handle isn't even mochi so i have very little reason to believe this could be them but idk, maybe? no conclusion has been made here. well i already spent time writing and cleaning up the paragraph, guess i'm leaving it in.

shout-out to [ouiouipussay] and [ramenflavorpacketsnorter420] just for having some names that stand out lol. i don't recognise you from anywhere but, i guess now i will if i ever come across those names again.

[Stupidusernamepolicy] i struggled to find you amidst all these names for the writing of this post 💀 had to ctrl+f that shit. but i remember seeing your name here while i was going through the list some days before and being like "oh hey!! it's slavhew :)" but okay there's actually a tangent i've been wanting to go on from here.

outside of aci i've actually been noticing you and hallucxnating double duo'ing under some fics together, like after the story era which i'd reread after hallu reminded me of its existence in a reply, and also sacramental which i had reread because of your reply, lol. i find this quite funny, just like. this visual representation of you two reading and recommending fics with each other. then you talk about it on twitter and more people like me are visiting this fic too. chain reaction of sharing stories :)

ALSO [anonymooose] and [durarasaiki] spotted down here in some of these kudos too!! that's craazy. wow. i tell you guys i'm recognising these names i'm not just crazy 😭

[NotElectricT] this took me a second to dig up again since it's quite buried down that list at this point but the plan i'd had in mind for this post was to end on this one since i saw them kudo it right in front of me (through the vc stream) and i didn't think this post would get as long as it did but... well i already wrote it 😬 but yeah, this is my good friend note! check out this art they made for, still one of their favourite chapters, sharks fly. it's sandwiched in between some squid game au they made for a gift exchange for me..... it's a long story i don't wanna talk about it (embarrassing......)

but what i do wanna talk about!! is how note (referred to as "patient zero" regarding aci book club by the only other patient lol) just decided to read this fic completely of their own volition?? i didn't tell them to do that and for sure didn't expect them of all people to try reading it, ever (they're not really a fic reader) but they just did that, two years ago. and that was like, insane to me at the time because it's seriously so out of their depth guys they don't do enemies to lovers.... they still don't lol. but i was insane about this fic back then with no one to really be insane about it to so i just yelled about it to these friends out of context and i guess???? that was convincing enough to get this one to start the longest fic they'd ever read 💀

i had much fun having someone experience the fic i'd been insane over..... like i'm smiling about it rn thinking about the time i did a live reading of the chainsaw man (as i like to call him) chapter which was so fun i kinda forgot i had a hamilton musical i was supposed to watch that evening... that was awkward. and other chats we exchanged regarding the fic (they were reading chapters whenever they felt like it which i enjoyed because i like pacing these things out) but for some reason (i think things just happened around the time that disrupted the momentum) they never made it past chapter 26 😔 which was tragic to me but oh well....

well i'm am even more insane about this fic now because of this convoluted chain of events that gradually built and cascaded me towards whatever the fuck i'm doing now!! god. i've never made so much, anything, like ever. until now. because both note and rosa (who has not kudo'd this fic as far as i'm aware lol) made the decision beyond my expectations to commit to, a book club. which i organised. and i've been having a lot of fun! so much fun, there's all this wild "marketing" stuff i've been churning out in record fucking time by my standards. i've never felt so creatively fulfilled dude, never finished a thing in my life until these past few months. so that's awesome, and it's in large part because of note having committed to this fic again. so that's some of the story behind that one kudo haha.

and now we're at chapter 49, we're supposed to be talking about it tomorrow, which is today by now since it's 1 am but uhhhhhhh writing is so hard. i was supposed to just be cleaning up this draft i'd written like 5 days ago? i am now very hungry. there's actually more i'd drafted up from here just from more names i recognised as i kept expanding the kudo list that day buuuut i'm fuckeeeen cutting this off right here. i need to stop. the end.

[windydrawallday]

Please feel better, friend!!! And Happy Halloween!!!

Thank you, sweet mouse friend! I'm slowly getting better but I need to keep being strict with the medicine hours, that part is the hassle of being sick for me orz

AND YESSS Happy Candy Gathering Day to you too!!

🦇🍬🍫🍬🍫🦇

[mwolf0epsilon]

Flat Frogma Friday 14

[[Rogue: OP went to beach and so did the boys, Kix is on patrol for making sure no one drowns]]

Thank you for temporarily picking up the torch @lost-on-kamino I am too tired from the beach trip to draw anything. A sunny day and a swim is probably what the boys needed to feel a little more like themselves anyway!

[stars-and-cows]

Here is a quick sketch of Sonia in Polish-inspired clothes because I like her

(Well actually it's because I have a full rewrite of her story that would make her a bit more realistic)

(But that's a story for another day and another post)

[lock-my-feelings-in-a-jar]

[quecksilvereyes]

i love how sir thomas sharpe (baronet ™) gets infantilised by people who have the hots for tom hiddleston. like. “oh he never killed any of them <3″ “he has his eyes closed so he’s clearly uncomfortable <3″ “he tries to help edith escape in the end”

babes this man fed his wives poisoned tea, had a child with his actual sister by wife #3, slept with two (2) women in his life even though he was married four times, got his sister out of the asylum she was put in for murdering their mother and quite possibly their father, only grew a conscience once he actually fell in love with one of the women he was exploiting and killing (because fuck uglies, immigrants and the disabled, it’s not that bad if we kill them right? we don’t care about women we don’t want to sleep with), and THEN he didn’t even try to get edith out, you do realise that, right? the extent of his protests was “no i want to keep this one actually” there was never a point where he even considered leaving lucille behind.

he’s just as bad as lucille, just as codependent AND he doesn’t have a spine. and personally i love him for it, truly one of the most characters ever.

[imabarbiegirlinabarbieworld]

[sic.] is the academic equivalent of repeating a friend’s typo

[apathyfairy]

not me pulling up to the starbucks drive thru looking as ugly as humanly possible only to realize that the cute barista boy is working and he got a haircut and he's even cuter than before i fear

[hearts-hunger]

had a huge family get together yesterday and spent my day holding babies and playing pretend with kids and it made me think of danny going to a family gathering with sunny and watching her play with the kids and hold babies and just swooning :’)

so okay bestie i will need you to take this back before i start crying

[gentil-minou]

im gonna go ahead and say it this is the greatest compliment i have ever received thank you

[the-holy-ghosted]

i HOPE u have a good night :D

OH.... THANK U JAY ILY

[timegears-moved]

i feel like this is an elaborate murder on the orient express reference, except reborn is taking the high road for once and not involving murder with it