#i am in fact somewhat insane so honestly i get it

[gentil-minou]

im gonna go ahead and say it this is the greatest compliment i have ever received thank you

[sunderingstars]

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✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ CHARACTER LINES ⌝

sampo analysis m.list

— what the stars reveal: interpretative analysis, somewhat a character study, elation!sampo

— word count: 4.6k (oh my god i am insane. he makes me insane)

— overview: (as of 2.4) an analysis of sampo’s character dialogue outside of quests!

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✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ INTRO ⌝

I’m putting this here because I wasn’t sure where else to put it, I just wanted to point out that his character intro describes him as someone who “travels freely” between two places (in this case, the Overworld and Underworld, but could also apply to multiple states of being) as well as saying he “acts” like he is everyone’s friend (performance) and is “enthusiastically humorous” (very similar to “infectious enthusiasm”). Being good at bantering also seems very Elation-aligned. That’s all!

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ FIRST MEETING ⌝

Each character’s “first meeting” line is arguably one of their most important lines. Not only does it give you a baseline introduction to them and their personality, but it shows you how they present themselves to others (i.e. the aspects of themselves they choose to consciously, or unconsciously, emphasize when meeting someone). For Sampo, this includes all of the “perks” that come with knowing him. Business, chaperoning, conversation — these are all part of a “deal” to him, a transaction of knowing and being known.

I haven’t talked about this much in my previous analyses, but Sampo has a very specific mindset of viewing friendship as a commodity. This could easily be chalked up to his idea of business and transaction rubbing off on other parts of his life, but given the strange emphasis he places on “being friends” throughout his dialogue, I’m suspicious it might be more than that. It seems he either isn’t willing to or isn’t capable of seeing genuine human connection as any more than another deal, another façade to do business with. It may be his way of keeping people at arm’s length, or perhaps the Elation won’t let him view people as anything more than another joke, another transaction of language and Laughter to make at another’s expense. Whatever the case, he seems dead-set on including “friendship” in his package deal when doing business.

I also find it interesting how he isn’t wrong. For someone who has a penchant for distorting the truth on a whim, Sampo is, in fact, a “chaperone” and “problem-solving conversationalist.” (“Businessman” is a given, we all know how well that’s going for him given that he literally has an idle where he counts his big stacks of money.) Despite not really having to, Sampo goes out of his way on Penacony to take the Trailblazer around and show us the dream bubble — even if it’s not a “traditional” chaperone role, it’s clear he was trying to look out for us in his own way (same thing on Belobog with the smoke bombs). Additionally, he’s very adept at solving problems by sheer virtue of talking, as shown by being the archetype that’s able to talk himself out of a myriad of situations. So at the end of the day, I guess I’d have to agree with him: it is a pretty sweet deal.

However, arguably the most intriguing thing about this line is the meta aspect of it — the big picture of his selling point being multiple things “rolled into one.” I don’t want to read too much into it, but I can’t help but wonder if this “three-in-one” phrase refers to more than just his skills. After all, if a running theme of his character is being a businessman and a chaperone and a problem-solving conversationalist, who’s to say it doesn’t apply to him being a Masked Fool and an Emanator and an Aeon (or a part of one, or a creation of one, or an avatar of one — honestly, at this point I feel like we can mix and match). At the very least, it would match up with the rule of three. Food for thought!

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ GREETING & PARTING ⌝

The greeting here seems pretty standard — going into it assuming he’ll get paid, then waffling and thinking about backing out when he realizes he won’t. What’s notable here, however, is that he covers it up by stumbling out a “Not a problem!” and continuing on with us. I feel like this partially shows how much he values friendship (despite clearly still wanting a payout) while also not quite having enough spine to straight up say “no” to us. The only thing I’m not sure about is if the Trailblazer is special in this regard, or if Sampo would keep going with anyone else.

The parting is a bit more notable, especially the idea of “I’m not going anywhere.” It seems half-comforting, half-threat, like he’ll always be a constant in our lives, for better or for worse. In a way, he may be like a never-ending joke we just can’t get rid of no matter how hard we try. (Don’t worry Sampo, I would never think of getting rid of you 😌.)

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ ABOUT SELF ⌝

This line, despite at first seeming like a joke, feels more personal the longer it goes on. The first “I’m an easygoing fella” seems like exactly the kind of thing a shady businessman would say when trying to drum up clients: “I’m personable,” “I look out for people,” “I’m a community man,” etc. However, by the time the line ends, it very much sounds like he’s referring to something specific. The idea of getting “pulled into everyone else’s business with nothing to show for it” sounds like a passive aggressive dig at something or someone we don’t have the specifics for. Especially with the “tsk” at the end and the repetition of “easygoing,” it almost seems like he’s trying to vent his frustration about being constantly pulled into things he doesn’t want to be a part of.

Now that we know he’s an “old timer” within the Masked Fools, this line of thinking makes sense — he’s left behind his mask, meaning he may have gotten tired and fed up with getting roped into the Fools’ shenanigans. With how exasperated he sounds in much of his Penacony dialogue, I’m not surprised he said something like this.

Going a step further, this could even apply to an Emanator being burnt out at having to deal with the Elation, or even Aha Themself feeling the constraints of a compulsory existence. I feel like Emanator or Silhouette theories would work better for this particular line, although it’s possible that Aha could achieve this level of genuine exasperation through split/dual/separate consciousness.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ CHAT: INTEL ⌝

Once again, Sampo shows how smart he is. He may be shady, yes, but he does know how to “maximize profit.” After hearing of Boothill’s run in with an Elation Emanator in 2.2, I can’t help but wonder if it was Sampo playing into this idea of selling information to multiple people — I definitely don’t think Boothill learning of the Emanator’s status was a coincidence, even if he says it was because he got it drunk. To me, this definitely reads as Sampo parceling out information in the right doses to the right people, “packaging” it in such a way that that person is none the wiser.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ HOBBIES, ANNOYANCES, & SOMETHING TO SHARE ⌝

Despite only being one line, “hobbies” sticks out to me as a potential revelation. First, there’s no mention of the passion or creativity often associated with hobbies, it’s just him stating what he believes — there’s no indication he actually enjoys it deep down (compulsory existence mayhaps). Secondly, “small talk brings big clients” shows how he focuses on the details and minutiae of the larger picture; he may not be one for flashy entrances like Sparkle (hell, his big entrance in Belobog was when he was literally surrounded by smoke) but he does know how to manipulate the odds to be in his favor. I also find “big clients” interesting. While it could just be a reference to his dealings on Belobog, I can’t help but wonder just how far this might extend. What kind of “big clients” has he brought in? Is he neglecting to mention that he’s a “big client” himself? Is he used to shmoozing in the big leagues? Only time will tell.

In comparison, the annoyance line is fairly standard. It’s a link to his shady side, the idea that he’s just a poor businessman, *sniffle,* and how could someone be so mean to such a nice fella? He’s operating in technicalities here, full well knowing why he’s considered a con-man but intentionally being obtuse about it. It is very endearing to me.

“Something to share” almost seems Robin-Hood-esque. At first, I thought he was talking about more “business” stuff, the idea of “sharing is caring, so you should share your money with me,” but the more I re-read the more I realized he’s probably getting at the wealth inequality in Belobog. He’s technically affiliated with the Underworld, after all, and his closest friends seem to be there too. Behind the fixation on profit and only doing things if it benefits him materially, there seems to also be a genuine want to share himself, to “make up the shortfall.” Even if the “sharing” isn’t coming from his own possessions, he still wants to get the Underworld the supplies and means to live comfortably, which is a surprisingly sweet sentiment. He has a heart in there, I swear.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ KNOWLEDGE ⌝

I feel like this line speaks for itself — the man is omniscient and he is toying with us. He knows way more than he’s letting on, even referencing the Astral Express as a “train” for shits and giggles. Your Elation is showing, king.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ ABOUT SVAROG & CLARA ⌝

I don’t know what’s funnier: the implication that Sampo has tried to strike a deal with Svarog before, or the implication that he, Sampo “I can talk my way into and out of anything” Koski, failed. He was probably aware his conversationalism wouldn’t work on a machine like Svarog, but damn if he didn’t want to try anyways. I would pay good money to see that go down. Too bad Sampo exists in another universe and can’t haggle it out of me.

Alternatively, his line about Clara is pretty sweet. Referring to her as “our little girl” shows how he views himself as part of the Underworld — even if he came from beyond the sky, even if he integrated himself into Belobog for a larger purpose, he still cares. He sees himself as one of them. Behind the gaud and the glamor, we can begin to see that silhouette, that want for connection in the periphery, staying in the shadows because it’s afraid to step into the light. Yet, despite him even realizing it, he’s begun to integrate himself. Begun to see himself as more than just a means to an end, an instigator or a jokester or a clown. He has, in a sense, become part of the collective — a healthy collective, one big found family, and Clara is just one part of it. Beyond his knowing, he’s gone from “I” and “them” to “us.” To “we.” To “our.” (And he is also still eternally confused over how the hell to communicate with Svarog.)

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ ABOUT NATASHA ⌝

I like how naturally he describes the progression of their relationship here. While it may not be entirely truthful or accurate (who knows with Sampo), it at least seems like he views his and Natasha’s friendship as an easy progression from one stage to the next. Despite it being transactional, it doesn’t really feel like a transaction, just an evolution of something whose seeds were already planted. It’s also notable that he started with medicine — not intel, not materialistic wealth like relics or Shield, but medicine. His first establishing relationship with Natasha was literally bringing her life-saving medicine. It really reminds me of how he saved the Trailblazer’s life in The Moles’ hide-and-seek daily mission; it’s the things he does in the shadows that really count, really show that he does, in fact, care. Despite what he tells you, he still wants to help. “You know how these things work” is also so funny because it’s like… no, no the Trailbalzer does not know how these things work. (Also, “arrived” in the Underworld? Interesting word choice, bestie.)

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ ABOUT SEELE ⌝

I just think it’s really funny to imagine Sampo, either an Emanator or an Aeon or both, being constantly told off by some resistance fighter on a random snow planet. Like, Seele is really out here doing what 99% of beings can’t. (With Doll Theory, however, this is a bit… heartbreaking, especially “Can someone explain what I did to deserve her?” potentially hiding the deeper, more agonizing question of “Can someone explain what I did to deserve this?”. But I am choosing not to think about that right now for my own sanity.)

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ ABOUT BRONYA ⌝

He really has no self-preservation when it comes to scoring big, does he? Despite how carefully methodical his endgame plans seem to be, his omniscience doesn’t stop him from throwing himself out there when he feels there’s something to be gained. It’s okay, Sampo, she’s nice. You don’t need to risk getting beat up just to talk to her, I’m sure you can arrange a meeting. (Also, I feel like this mirrors his “painful introduction” to the Trailbalzer at the beginning of the Belobog storyline — sure, Sampo had to put up with Dan Heng’s prodding and Gepard’s arrival, but he made the biggest score of all: getting to meet us. So, maybe it’s not just “throwing himself out there.” Maybe it’s all one big calculation on his part.)

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ ABOUT THE LANDAUS ⌝

Gepard potentially triggering Sampo’s Elation instincts is hilarious to me. I’ll expand on it in a dedicated Sampard post, but it’s so in line with the Elation for Sampo, most likely a god in his own right, to find such catharsis in, what? Being chased around in the snow by a hot blonde guard? In terms of the wider universe, Gepard is literally just some guy. And yet here Sampo is, doing a little heehee haha and having the time of his life. It’s the little things, you know?

(On a more serious note, if we’re dealing with a Sampo who’s constantly felt like he has no control over his “enjoyment” of Elation — even a Silhouette or Doll Theory Sampo who is actively being harmed by “the joke” — then him gradually warming up to Gepard is surprisingly wholesome. Here he is, someone who has always found himself subject to Elation rather than naturally falling into it, finding a way to reclaim that enjoyment and find a genuine place for it within himself. Some sort of reconciliation, perhaps, a bit of happiness that’s his own and no one else’s, some part of a situation that he can control. The elation he feels here is not Elation, but rather a genuine feeling of connection, one not brought on suddenly by the punchline of a joke, but one that has gradually grown over time, matured, blossomed into something warm and real and comforting. Gepard has no idea, but he’s slowly mellowing out the “compulsory” of compulsory existence until it becomes nothing but a fading whisper. Anyways can you tell I love Sampard?)

I’m also interested in how Serval and Sampo used to be “good pals.” While Sampo’s idea of a “good pal” could be wildly off-base from what Serval experienced — with the likelihood that Sampo’s “we were besties” was Serval’s “he was an annoying guy who kept asking me for deals” — it makes sense to me that they might’ve gotten along at some point. Serval is a fairly casual and accepting person, so I could see her and Sampo being friends (although I don’t think she would have fallen for many of his scams). However, I definitely don’t think she’d agree with Sampo’s shady business dealings, so finding out from Gepard just how much of a criminal he is would definitely sour things. She would believe in giving the Underworlders the resources they need, for sure, but definitely not Sampo pocketing money for himself or scamming random people who’ve done nothing wrong. “Gepard’s bad word” probably wasn’t even that malicious, just a statement of fact.

(I, however, like to think that Gepard opened up about his crush on Sampo to Serval and her protective older sister genes kicked in. What Sampo is really registering is the change from “oh, you’re a chill guy” to “if you hurt my baby brother so help me god I will end your entire existence.” It is canon in my heart.)

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ ABOUT LUKA ⌝

This one is another tie-in to Sampo’s fixation on business and profit. I do wonder why and how Sampo missed out on making money here, though. Perhaps the timing was off, or he had bigger things to deal with, or Luka just didn’t want to work with him for whatever reason. Either way, it’s kinda funny that he knows Luka as “that kid I could’ve made money off of but didn’t”. I can just see him hanging his head dejectedly in my mind. It’s okay, Sampo, you’ll get ‘em next time.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ ABOUT SPARKLE ⌝

Sparkle is a unique case, being the only other playable Masked Fool and having a direct connection with Sampo through the organization. He seems to have a pretty good read on her, which would make sense if his status as an “old timer” includes having a lot of experience dealing with specific members of the Fools. He’s basically reading her like a book, saying: She’s all over the place, and you never have anything truly figured out. There’s also the meta commentary of “outwit herself,” referencing the events of Black Swan’s companion quest and an Inception-like folding in of all her personas. It also seems like it might be a bit of a projection: “Think you’ve got her all figured out, don’t you?” I didn’t say anything Sampo, but if this “you” is in the room with us right now, it’s okay, you can just say it. Perhaps he tried to understand her at some point in the past and it fucked him over. (Just speculation!)

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ ASCENSION & ACTIVATION ⌝

Whoo boy, this eidolon activation. It’s definitely suspicious, to say the least. There’s a reason I chose it as my quote for my Elation!Sampo masterlist, and that’s because it encapsulates so much about his potential identity. There’s the fact he’s not being direct about it, phrasing it as a question where he speaks in second person, trailing off at the end; even now, he seems unwilling or unable to face the truth with his full chest. There’s also the phrase “colorful past,” which just makes me ask: How much of a colorful past are we talking? This could range anywhere from Masked Fools shenanigans to “oh yeah, I used to be an Aeon.” The fact he’s so indirect about it makes me more suspicious — it’s an extremely leading question, very smug and taunting, which makes my mind just go up and up and up the power scale list, much like “old timer” caused me to do the same. There’s just a quality to this line that basically screams, “There is something large and powerful and dormant inside of him! Be careful!”.

The ascension once again links back to money, and his trace activation is about the transactional “business” of friendship. The last notable thing here is his “max level reached,” where he expresses disappointment over… hitting max level? “That’s it? *sigh* I was just getting started,” is not the kind of thing even a regular Masked Fool would say. Again, we’re given a hint of almost incomprehensible power, the idea that the limit of the game, of the universe, isn’t enough for him. In a strikingly eldritch way, our “max” is simply a small drop in his bucket, an ant he barely even notices. He really isn’t beating the Elation allegations, is he?

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ TEAMS ⌝

Since there’s five different ones here, I’ll go through them fairly quickly:

Natasha — Reminds me of Natasha’s own voiceline where she says Sampo doesn’t like owing people things. It shows that he really does try to pay favors back as soon as possible, keeping them present in his mind so they don’t go unresolved for too long.

Hook — It’s interesting how he reacts to her in a similar way he does the Masked Fools: exasperation, but still a little fond. There’s some care, some nostalgia mixed in there, but at the end of the day he still knows that something is getting blown to smithereens.

Seele — On his best behavior. He really doesn’t want her to get angry at him, does he? 

Trailblazer — Interesting how he laughs at the beginning here. Interesting how he says, “Ha!” Interesting how this is only with the Trailblazer. Hm. That is all.

Sparkle — “Same rule as always” establishes a long-form relationship; it’s likely they’ve known each other for a long time, or at least long enough to have established “rules” for each time they fight or work together. The fact that the rule is “no backstabbing” is also fitting, seeing as Sparkle (and by proxy, the Masked Fools) are definitely the type to backstab at any given moment. The real question is: Is this rule simply a surface-level attempt by Sampo to stop from getting messed with, or does Sparkle actually listen to him?

It also sets up Sampo as at least pretending to be on the same power level as Sparkle — he’s in a position where he feels the need to be wary and on-guard around her despite occupying a potentially higher status.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ COMBAT & MISC. ⌝

Reading through these, I just felt like I was getting smacked over the head with theories. It’s like he was repeatedly hitting me on the back of the head with a baseball bat or something. Having each line side by side really makes certain patterns become apparent. Since there’s so many, I’ll go through them fairly quickly (feel free to ask me to expand on any of these if you want!):

Battle Begins: Weakness Break: “Fun” links to Elation. “Just” is downplaying the severity of a Weakness Break, reducing pain/danger to yet another joke. A somewhat callous view of life, similar to the Worm Fiasco.

Battle Begins: Danger Alert: Endless pursuit of entertainment and Elation — “the stronger the better.” Like Aha, it’s less about winning or losing, but rather the challenge and thrill of the fight itself.

Turn Begins: Line 1 — The idea of “friends” again, showing physical protection and aid to be part of the “transaction”; however “takes care of” seems less transactional and more genuine. Line 2 — More transactional with the idea of “business”; perhaps refers to violence as “doing business” with enemies, or helping the trailblazer as “doing business.”

Turn Idling: “Bring out” and “big guns” links to hidden or increased power, something that needs to be revealed. Since this is his turn idle, it gives the implication that he is “waiting” to bring out this power until the right time (though he is impatient about it).

Skill: Argument One — Silly goofy behavior. Argument Two (Delusional) — “Size” alludes to the physical changing of size between mortal and Emanator/Aeonic form.

Hit by Light Attack: Seems somewhat performative.

Hit by Heavy Attack: Seems to be overly protective of his “face” — or rather, the potential physical facade he puts up to hide his true identity from others. Doll Sampo may be overly concerned with “breaking,” while other theories may be worried about something being “revealed” if too much of his physical form is chipped away. (In a way, the avatar of “Sampo Koski” may be a mask in and of itself, able to be broken.)

Ultimate: Activate: Again with the idea of “waiting,” man is impatient.

Ultimate: Unleash: If we’re going with an Elation!Sampo theory, it seems like he may almost be alluding to Aha as “king” here, which would center themes of betrayal and switching sides. It doesn’t seem personal in this case, but rather a power/money/profit-oriented standpoint.

Downed: *Puts on tinfoil hat* Sampo could actually be referencing a “loophole payment” here; as shown in the Curio Hacker Occurrence, one of the curios given to us by the blue-haired man is “Organic Heart,” a curio that removes the golden (powerful) dice face for four turns, destroys itself, then grants two cheat attempts — if we take this as an allegory for Sampo’s existence, then he may be paying a “price” as an Emanator or Aeon to escape an unfortunate fate later on (or accomplish something impossible). In this way, “This price was too steep…” may refer to Sampo being trapped in mortal form (a more vulnerable state) and realizing the “price” he paid upfront for those cheat attempts isn’t worth it if he never gets to see the fruits of his labor.

Return to Battle: This may also link to the Curio Hacker dice faces, as a combat “turn” could also stand-in for a dice “roll” — he has been brought back to fight, and so he will continue to participate in the cycle until his cheat attempts are granted. (Also, it links to the cyclical nature of the snakes, going from one turn to the next, never able to truly die.)

Health Recovery: Another mention of transactions, debt, and “owing” — according to Natasha’s voice line about him, this is not a phrase he says lightly.

Technique: Laughter, plan and simple. The Laugher, even, if we’re feeling frisky.

Battle Won: Probably one of the biggest clues in his voicelines. “How’re you gonna win if you don’t take any risks?” directly implies a “risk” at the core of his being, some dangerous change he is making to make sure he gets what he wants. May somewhat detract from Aha theories in that Aha doesn’t seem to care about “winning,” however who knows if that mindset has changed or if Sampo simply thinks that because he is currently in mortal form. Either way, it once again links to him paying a “cost” for those later cheat attempts.

Treasure Opening 1: Good old cash reference.

Treasure Opening 2: Kinda sweet that he lets us keep it, even though it’s only because he doesn’t have any use for it.

Precious Treasure Opening: … And of course he immediately shoves us aside when it’s something he’s actually interested in.

Successful Puzzle-Solving: 1: Pretty generic.

Successful Puzzle-Solving 2: Reference to his businessman persona and how he’s made a career out of “solving others’ problems.” It may be that he’s trying to solve a problem for either himself or Aha as an outside entity (or perhaps even a different Aeon of Emanator, who knows).

Enemy Target Found: Sounds almost taunting; there’s no vocal recording in this post, but if you listen to his English voice acting it sounds goading, almost like he’s daring you to start the fight. “I dunno” is a bit more reserved, like he’s hesitating a bit, but I’m definitely on the side of “he can handle this, he’s just fucking with us.”

Returning to Town: Another third person reference! Obligatory business reference.

And whew, that’s all of it! Every single Sampo character screen voice line as of 2.4! My main takeaways are definitely the third-person references, as well as the fixation on business and profit. The lines linking to Curio Hacker especially stand out to me — “risks” and “prices” remind me a lot of Organic Heart. But I’ll save that for its own analysis! As for now, I hope this was a comprehensive-enough coverage of Sampo’s voicelines. In my opinion, this man definitely has some Elation-related shenanigans going on.

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.𖥔 ݁ ˖ જ⁀➴ thank you for reading to the end!

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© analysis by sunderingstars. do not copy, repost, translate, modify, or claim my work as your own.

[fandomfreakstudios]

Caine is a human and I will die on this hill (theory)

due to popular demand (losing the poll) I wanna post my Caine theory in proper depth.

My theory is essentially the idea that Caine is not an AI but is in fact a human trapped in the digital circus just as much as all the other players.

Sounds ridiculous, right?

good.

[LONG post incoming, be warned]

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To start, we need to understand the digital circus and its origins.

a place like the digital circus is very likely to be man-made as a place, a game, a computer program, whatever. This place did not appear out of nowhere. It is accessed through VR or some VR-esque technology, and takes on the appearance of a retro game (evidence given below)

Now, video games (unfortunately) don’t just code themselves, there has to be at the very least one person creating this game. Fortunately enough, we can deduce the name of the company from what is given within the show.

It is very common knowledge at this point that digital circus takes place within a computer in some sort of office building (as is implied by the ending scene in episode 1)

This computer is also seen at another point... namely when Pomni is running through the backrooms-like offices. She once again comes across this computer.

Now this implies that this area is at least SOMEWHAT a reflection of the real world, so analyzing this location isn't inherently pointless. Now one other interesting part of this office area is the logo on the wall, which reads "C & A" which people have unanimously agreed to mean Caine and Abel

The important thing about this is that Caine as a concept is somehow connected to the person who created this game, through the founder choosing to name Caine after the company, or vice versa. Now you could easily argue that the company was named after Caine, or Caine acts as a self insert for the creator, but I am here to argue that maybe Caine IS the creator.

More specifically, Caine is an original creator of the game (not necessarily the sole creator) aka the amazing digital circus, and in testing an incomplete game managed to get himself trapped, as does any other player who chooses to attempt to play.

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Looking back at episode 1 there is something interesting for us to think about. Caine attempting to create an exit door, but being unable to figure out what to put on the other side.

Now this could very easily be interpreted as Caine being unable, as an AI who's only knowledge is of what's within the game, to imagine anything outside of it, and therefore fumbling the task. This is a reasonable interpretation, this was MY first interpretation, and it honestly adds so much horror to the episode on a first watch through.

But in all honesty that still leaves a lot unexplained.

The question still remains why Caine, as a struggling AI, would choose to create something like what he did. From his perspective he has never seen anything as dreary as these office buildings, nor does this space make any semblance of sense as Caine's environments tend to do. It seems less like something a well-polished AI would create, and more like what a human would come up with when trying to create something from a distant memory.

That's something incredibly important to keep in mind going forward. If Caine is in fact human, he would have been trapped in the digital circus for a LONG time, with it becoming increasingly difficult to recall his human memories (something it is confirmed humans trapped in the circus can recall). at the very least, longer then Kinger, who is clearly very mentally effected by his time at the circus.

Caine would likely also be showing some level of insanity or mental instability if he had been trapped with no escape for this long (and yes I do believe that he also cannot leave, and I have some evidence later down the line that will explain this perspective), and he hasn't been seen to do this at all, right? Well, I think he is, but it manifests a little differently then Kinger, or anyone else for that matter. Keep this in mind as we go forward.

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Caine's purpose within the circus is fairly straightforward. He is the ringmaster, he creates daily adventures akin to ttrpg oneshots, and he exists to essentially guide the player through this video game world.

Now in the event that Caine was a human who was pulled into the game, why would he need to fill this role? Even as a dev he should still be playtesting as, well, a player. I believe that at the time of the dev's entrapment, the ringmaster AI had not been programmed into the game.

Y'see the Caine we know is a MAJOR perfectionist. He neeeever likes anyone seeing his unfinished work, kinda odd for an AI within a game to be embarrassed about. Yeah, he's a generative AI that creates locations, but creating something in multiple steps is something an AI cannot do. Furthermore, an AI should not feel "embarrassed" about it's work, AI by virtue is always 100% convinced what it generates is perfect, or else it wouldn't have generated it like that.

Also, if we're working under the assumption that the backrooms-esque offices were just an AI hallucination or bad generation, why would Caine KNOW it's not what his players are looking for? For a dev however, this makes sense.

Caine also has a lot of other actions that, as an AI require a bit if suspension of disbelief, but make tons more sense if he's actually a human, and furthermore a dev.

As mentioned, perfectionism, not wanting people to see incomplete or unpolished areas of the game

Realistic depictions of emotions (frustration, embarrassment, confusion)

Annoyance at Bubble for being a sucky AI (her swearing, interrupting him, inhuman and unrealistic speaking patterns and behaviors)

the need to "Reuse AI" which, if the characters are all AI created by other AI would be unnecessary because AI generating would take Caine no effort. Nor should a generative AI ever run out of ideas.

As mentioned, perfectionism, not wanting people to see incomplete or unpolished areas of the game

Realistic depictions of emotions (frustration, embarrassment, confusion)

Annoyance at Bubble for being a sucky AI (her swearing, interrupting him, inhuman and unrealistic speaking patterns and behaviors)

the need to "Reuse AI" which, if the characters are all AI created by other AI would be unnecessary because AI generating would take Caine no effort. Nor should a generative AI ever run out of ideas.

I wanna highlight that, while this is a joke post, I am enjoying the implication that Caine has a name (something only a human would have)

(top right is a particularly interesting example of him just acting super human and "dropping the act" so to speak. Getting distracted, stuttering, losing track of the conversation, all that. And bottom right is similar as he is nervously fidgeting).

Caine has all the fixings of a human dev, trapped in his now incomplete game. A game that had not had it's "ringmaster" character implemented at this point in development, likely with nothing more then some competed (albeit unpolished) locations for the game.

The idea Caine is actually a dev as opposed to an AI is further supported by Caine's ability to create and alter things from within the game. Creating areas without human prompt, deleting characters, he seems to have a level of autonomy and intelligence that no AI should EVER have.

----------

Furthermore, the man ACTS human, a weird ass human, but a human nonetheless. He's responsive, emotive, emotional, and he's not nearly as glitchy as the other AI. He never slips up and activates some sort of internal filter like bubble, or insists on weird mannerisms like the moon or the sun, he seems to just KNOW better somehow.

He acts like the more "immersive AI" from ep2 if anything, which he's clearly been around longer than. Someone needed to program that AI, and based on previous patterns is implied to be Caine. Once again, way out of his job description as another AI (plus how would this AI be MORE realistic if it was learning from another, older AI).

Not to mention the fact he's ALWAYS around somewhere, whether he's in his own realm he made, or just chilling around the circus (unlike bubble for example, who comes and goes at Caine's will).

It's clear he does this for his own comfort, but WHY would he be programmed to do that as opposed to only existing when necessary to prioritize memory or something.

----------

But one would be right to say he's slightly... off. He is a strange one, if he was a human. He's erratic, unpredictable, and often manic at times. This goes back to the point I made with Kinger, where I claimed Caine should also be exhibiting signs of mental illness

Under the assumption that Caine, in the act of playtesting the game, got trapped, a handful of things would happen (the finer details are negotiable, this is just my knee-jerk reaction):

He'd realize what happened and that he can't get out

He likely felt as though he was in his own personal hell, as he was trapped in a scuffed, incomplete skeleton of his own passion project

He likely found some sort of way to alter stuff, a backdoor that only he as the creator knew about, or some sort of privilege in being the first to enter the realm

He got his first or first few players. This was probably alarming to him as there was no ringmaster, no worlds, nothing. All the AI he had created thus far had been poorly made and could not function which such a difficult task. But then he realized... HE could be the ringmaster

This is probably around the time as well that he realized he could not remember his own name. But he remembered what he wanted to call the ringmaster... Caine

He takes on the identity of Caine, acting as ringmaster, polishing the game behind the scenes, and creating daily activities on an "as needed" basis

----------

Now this is where it gets interesting. I believe, at this point, Caine has taken on the identity of this AI generated ringmaster for so long that he's beginning to lose himself. He's beginning to lose memories of his life, he's becoming more detached from the side of himself that ISN'T Caine, and he's starting to catch himself believing he IS Caine, he IS an AI.... and he's scared

He's completely lost the ability to create any meaningful connections with others, as he needs to keep up the illusion of being an AI. He's lost his humanity, become detached from the way other humans think and feel, and its starting to make him become more AI then human if anything.

(left image does not crop nice, plz click to view the whole thing TvT)

He's probably seen at least a dozen people lose their mind in so many different ways. While he knows he's different then them, TECHNICALLY he's still a player, and can abstract all the same. This is why he seemed to freak the HELL out at the idea of an AI and a human getting mixed up.

----------

One last bit, and it's a simple one I promise. Caine has been described as the main antagonist outside of the show. This is interesting as up until now Caine hasn't done anything actively malicious (aside from Gummigoo, but he seemed to have solid reasoning for that, just not anything he chose to share with the audience).

[does ANYONE have the "weight of Caine's sins?" tumblr ask I am having no luck finding it again]

At this point, this would be shooting the messenger. He is simply a byproduct of the system that is keeping these folks trapped, right? Caine himself didn't put them there, he just takes care of them.

Unless... Caine was the one who made the AI. Then he would inarguably be the reason everyone else was trapped there. And goose is right, that wouldn't make him an AWFUL person either, but he does still have many sins weighing on his back, and many deaths on his hands. And there's nothing he can do about any of it, because he's just as helpless as they are.

----------

So yeah, TLDR: Caine was the creator of the circus. In attempting to playtest he got trapped in the game and eventually took the initiative to play the ringmaster within his own game, but he is slowly beginning to lose his mind, as happens to everyone.

Hope you all enjoyed the read! If anyone's still interested at this point I have a few more small bits of evidence (more from outside the show on Goose's socials and whatnot) which I could not fit in the bulk of the theory. I'll reblog with some extra bits so this post is still complete but I don't break the flow of my main ideas.

And if you get this far, thank you so much. I don't typically post long form theories like this but if this gets any sort of traction I definitely will begin too.

[ilovetheriddler]

Escape room affections.

(BTAS) The Riddler/Edward Nygma X F!Reader.

(The escape room is really badly designed, and the puzzles don't actually do anything. This obviously frustrates Edward greatly.)

Word Count: 691.

Contents: Edward being frustrated, kisses, and affection.

You couldn't help but chuckle slightly at the sight of your boyfriend Edward, slowly losing his mind as a result of the escape room that you thought would be a fun date idea to do.

You truly love and adore Edward and how intelligent he is... but at times, that is his biggest flaw. Like now, as he was overthinking this escape room. He was so frantically trying to piece together puzzles that, in his mind and opinion, should work.

A part of you honestly didn't even have the heart to tell him that those puzzles weren't actually important and that the escape room was just really poorly designed and didn't actually use puzzles, that those were just there for decoration.

"Damn it! Why isn't this working? It's clearly the only correct solution to this!"

"Edward, sweetheart, I think that -"

"Not now, my love! I'm trying to figure out why this isn't working, These puzzles are borderline, something a toddler could solve. So the fact that they aren't working, despite me having clearly solved them, is a huge insult to me!"

He continued trying to solve the, quite literally, useless puzzles. The frustration and growing anger apparent on his face. You feel a bit guilty. When you saw that a new escape room had been opened, you thought it would be fun for Edward, that it would be a cute date idea. But perhaps you should have looked more into it beforehand. You walk over to him and place your hand on his shoulder.

"Edward.... the puzzles aren't important...."

A genuine look of surprise and confusion immediately crosses his face. He's silent for a few moments, clearly processing exactly what you just said to him. Before it fully registers with him and that look of frustration returns.

"Well, that's just idiotic! What kind of archaic fools create an escape room that doesn't rely on puzzles?!"

"I don't know.... listen, um, I'm sorry about this... I wasn't aware of it beforehand... so I'm sorry if I've unintentionally ruined our date...."

He looked slightly taken aback by your sudden saddened tone.

"My love, I assure you that while I am frustrated over the foolish design of this escape room, I'm not upset at you. In fact, the fact that I got to spend time with you is the only saving grace from this evening!"

"Really...? I'm glad then... oh! Um... here, I found it in one of the plants a few minutes ago..."

You hand him a simple key, more specifically, the key to get out of here. You feel your face heat up slightly once he leans in and places a simple yet sweet kiss on your cheek.

"Thank you, my love. I appreciate you trying to set up a date that I'd enjoy. It's not your fault that it went.... somewhat awry."

He unlocks the door, and the two of you leave the wildly underwhelming escape room. Edward has a certain look in his eyes that catches your attention, like he's planning something in his head.

"You know, I could make an escape room leagues more impressive than... that disgrace back there! Oh... perhaps i could even use it as a new challenge for Batman! Yes, that'd be perfect!"

"Well, if anyone can design an insane escape room, then it'd probably be you..."

He gets a somewhat smug yet genuine grin on his face at your compliment. He drapes his arm over your shoulders as you walk, leaning into you some. He then presses a gentle and quick kiss to your lips suddenly. Ruffling your hair slightly once he pulls away.

"Oh course, it'll be great, my dear. I'll finally be able to put an end to that caped crusader after all this time! I'm sure it'll work this time... oh, and I'd love for you to test it out for me.... before I add anything lethal, I mean."

"I'd be overjoyed to test out your escape room trap whenever you finish it....."

Edward walks you back to your apartment, bidding you goodnight before he starts making his way back to his place. He has plans that he must attend to...

[quixtrix]

the significance of blue - a somewhat analysis on the lost temple cult

this analysis is defunct due to wiki retcons! im only keeping this up for archival purposes, please read the updated version here ! the heretic katana skin jus got shown to the general public and the detail that stands out to me the most is the fact that katana's horns are dyed blue. teal blue is the colour motif of the church of the lost eye, and the fact that they go as far as to make members dye their horns for this blue is very interesting! let's get into why I think they do this and more about the church of the true eye :P

for starters, i am an art history nerd, i'm going into uni for an art history related major, and took an art history class. these are my credentials before you tell me im insane (but also i am overanalysing phighting rn so maybe i am insane). pls dont like. kill me for overanalysing actually i jus really like doing this kinda thing lol dont read if you dont wanna hear me yapping

with that being said, in history, blue has been historically associated with wealth and religion. this is due to the fact that blue, specifically cobalt blue, is difficult to mine, and because a deep rich blue such as cobalt blue doesn't have an easy alternative for the colour. the standard of ur for exactly is a symbol of wealth because of the amount of blue that it uses.

on the religion side, or at least in abrahamic religions (i cannot currently remember if hinduism or buddhism treasures blue like that), blue is associated with heaven. obviously because the sky is blue and what not, but also because it represents the spirit of god. this may also be because of the aforementioned difficulty of acquiring blue, but religious figures and buildings use blue a lot, enhancing the association with blue and religion.

this all fits in line with the lost temple, which 1. is a place of wealth 2. the largest religious organisation we've seen in phighting. blue fits them, analysis done and dusted.

wrong. i woulda let this slide if we didn't establish that dying your horns is a way to express oneself in phighting.

look at all the members for me real quick, look at their horns.

yeah i included dollmaker mainly bc it said on the wiki shes in the cult. shes not apart of this analysis tho sorry dollmaker fans.

all various shades of blue! specifically teal and dark blue. whether it be dye or not, it's something noteworthy.

i wanna point out that it's said that medkit and katana both share the same shade of teal. yknow what else that medkit and katana share that's related to the church?

only mention of biological family on med's side btw. also, since he was born with teal horns its smth of note.

and then katana has a brother. this is literally in dialogue.

yknow what's a big thing in the church of the true eye? family. their whole schtick is being a whole big family. honestly, katana might not even have a biological brother if my assumption on how the cult's rankings work.

basically, the highest figure we know in the cult, whether he be the head of it or jus a real high ranking figure, is referred to as 'the father.'

it's not a stretch to assume that the hierarchy within the cult is based off of a family. those who are the lowest are referred to as the acolytes (i assume they are the lowest because the broker refers to them as a whole and not individuals), those who are higher may possibly referred to with more traditional family titles such as 'brother' or 'sister' or even possibly 'mother.' it would make sense given the fact that they're literally big on the family thing. why would you call the whole thing family if you won't do the silly culty thing with the brother and sister thing within the cult do you hate love and joy and fun??? (obviously matches are a different thing entirely, but i feel like outside of the phighters we see, the reputation of being a cult family as opposed to jus some weird ass cult obviously had to come from somewhere. besides, reserving titles such as brother and sister for higher ranking officials would show significance).

i highlight the fact that katana and medkit have the same shade of teal because colour is so significant in the cult. broker, medkit, and katana look to have similar uniforms in terms of build and colour, with katanas being kinda an inverse of broker's. they all seem to work underneath scythe as well, with scythe in a white uniform and more gold, appearing to be more wealthy and have influence in the cult. while she also has teal horns, it's darker than katana and medkit's, and i don't have enough information to gather what that darker shade of teal could really mean.

but regardless, teal horns in the context of the church of the true eye can possibly mean literal familial connection. that's one possibility. we're going through possibilities of the meanings of the colours right now. i say this because medkit would have most likely been fucked if he didn't have the familial connection to the church because from what we've seen, going to another faction is not a real welcome thing to do. and then katana's horns are clearly dyed that specific teal, when he hasn't dyed his horns red at all. he could have had them dyed like broker's darker blue, but they're not.

teal horns could also jus be a cult thing and broker's jus being the lil weirdo he is. but i jus can't let go of the fact that medkit's horns and katana's horns are basically the same colour. it's been bothering me. it's why im here yapping right now. honestly i wish i could also explain why dollmaker or scythe has tealish horns as well, (with the lil bits on both of their horns sticking out!) but i jus don't have enough info on dollmaker.

anyways, since i'm already talking about katana's and medkit's horns, let's talk about that little gold ring on both of their horns.

horn decoration has mostly been seen as, once again, expression, but historically irl jewellery has a lot of significance culturally and religiously. first thing that comes to mind is the stretching of the ear lobes, which is associated with status and religion (think the buddha.) within the world of phighting, we rarely if ever see jewellery on horns outside of the cult. honestly i jus assumed that medkit was cunty but with the large gold piece on heretic katana's horn, it has to have more significance.

also. why are they on the same side. i know that the right side and the left side have meanings within abrahamic religions (eg. muslims not using their left hands to eat or drink because of the devil, 'the right hand of the father' being because the right hand of god is metaphor for his omnipotence) but i don't have enough info for the ring. it could mean that you were accepted as more than an acolyte within the cult, or again, the family tie, but there's jus nothing at the time of writing this that i can figure out. it's a bit frustrating. it could jus mean they're wealthy though

anyways, i think that's all my thoughts on the church of the true eye. i actually have a small idea on who the deity the church worships, but also i feel like that's like theorising who's the in universe jesus christ (because the church unironically can be compared to christianity. i might make another yap sesh on that.) so i didn't go into it in here lol. tell me all ur thoughts nd feelings on this, my askbox is open :P

[draco-glacialis]

Oki so am going insane with this thought process but hear me out please

Agatha’s magic is like a wendigo

It cannibalises other people’s magic with it comes into contact with them no matter the intention

Agatha can’t control it, it’s almost like she’s in a trance

It seems to kinda be somewhat sentient in the sense that; if Agatha truly is in a trance like state then it would be her magic that’s smiling when she siphons power

It seems like no matter how much power Agatha siphons from other witches ‘she’ is always hungry for more

It would also explain Agatha’s hunger for knowledge/power - her trial wasn’t about her harming another coven member; it was about taking “knowledge above her age and station and practising the darkest of magic”

Also the fact that twice (?) she’s made vague cannibalism jokes

Another point is in some sources from what I remember your not suppose to say it’s name. I figure that Agatha would have a similar reputation that it’s bad luck or something to mention her name. Almost as if you’d summon her. She’s used as a cautionary tale for children. She’s given many different monikers (like witch killer etc)

Honestly would love to see Agatha’s trial being her making peace with her magic, learning to control and embrace it but also accepting that it’s a part of her whether she likes it or not.

Like the trial taking place in the forest where her first coven tries to kill her and having her magic by represented by a wendigo chasing them through the forest (the Salem Seven also hunting Agatha down too). Eventually they (the coven) get separated, all bar Agatha are make they way back together but are surrounded by the Salem Seven.

Agatha is on her own being chased by her own magic (not that she realises this) and also ends up cornered however the ‘wendigo’ explains the truth (it being her magic) and that she must make peace with that and it doesn’t make her good nor evil but the intention behind the action does.

Meanwhile the coven learn about the Salem Seven’s version of history (this is the one they already know, it’s the one witch society knows) and either Lilia or Alice realise Agatha has never told her side of the story.

Agatha’s trial would end with her killing the Salem Seven in a similar way to their parents. The coven learn they know very little about Agatha in truth and Agatha learns she can be good and how to use and master her magic (she doesn’t automatically get to master it but does know in theory how to do it). The pyre in the centre would turn into a stair case downwards like all the other trials.

[sugarpasteltmnt]

Hi there! I've read a lot of ROTTMNT fics, and I mean. A LOT. But holy fuck The Neon Void is literally the most amazing thing I've ever read.

The pacing is FANTASTIC? I'm way too impatient for reveals to take so long in my own writing, the fact you've managed to make it last 20 chapters (so far)? INSANE. /POS.

The characterization is absolutely phenomenal, it genuinely feels like this is something that could have happened in canon. It FEELS like the characters in every sense, even with Leo being the way he is! Its genuinely amazing.

Not to mention the ANGST. Presumed death is my favorite trope ever, and the fact all of their grief feels so palpable? The way you described Raph's grief in one of the chapters stuck with me so much, I forget the exact wording but it was like "He couldn't be more grateful to have had Leo for a brother, or more proud of the fact he had been his big brother" I don't know something like that AND IT FELT LIKE A KNIFE TO THE CHEST. WONDERFULLY DONE.

AND THE TELEPORTATION THING- making true teleportation so difficult in such a smart way was such a great move. I LOVE that aspect so much.

I'm gonna cut this ramble off here before I further go off the rails, I just wanted to say this is my all time favorite fanfic EVER. Even long when this is over I expect myself to come back to reread it VERY often. You're doing an amazing job, and you're a really awesome writer!

Have a wonderful day! :D

SOB THANK U SO MUCH

But seriously, that means a lot ;w; I’m always worried that my pacing is too slow, or if I’m hitting the marks on the boys’ personalities. ESPECIALLY with Leo fighting between insane giggle fits and self-loathing. It's been a challenge for sure. The reassurance that it’s somewhat believable makes me incredibly happy ;w; The story beats of this fic are honestly new territory for me—so it means the WORLD to me that you took the time to let me know you like my silly story!!! Especially since this is the first fic I’ve ever published—it’s a huge relief knowing that people enjoy my brain worms LOL

Honestly the amount of positive feedback I’ve gotten just from my silly little fic has totally floored me. Everyone has been so sweet and so kind and honestly writing this fic has brought me so much joy and I’m so happy that it makes other people happy too ;w;

But like??? The fact you feel like it could be canon?? THAT IS SUCH A HIGH COMPLIMENT THANK YOU 😭😭😭 I will admit I am proud of the teleportation aspect, and while I have some other silly particle physics lessons planned I just hope it all makes sense to readers in the end ;w;

Thank you again so so so much ;w; I love big dramatic reveal fics too, so it’s been VERY painful for me to have made it this far without a reveal LMAO. Seriously, I can’t wait to get this silly guy written and moved out of my head to free up rent space for some fanfic READING again (I WILL get distracted if I let myself read other fics rn SOB) I’ll def have to check yours out too because it sounds DELICIOUS 🤤✨

[femmemortes]

My top five most brutal SAW traps even though absolutely nobody asked for my fucking opinion:

5 — Pound of Flesh, SAW VI

I feel like this isn’t a trap that’s talked about often enough considering the actual shit you have to do to survive it. I mean come on. Cut off enough of your flesh to survive? And it’s not even like there’s a set amount anyway, it’s a competition between you and another person to see who can do the most. No guidance as to what specific body part to cut off either. You just have to take the knife and just start going crazy. It makes having the punishment for not doing it look not as bad but, then again, actually thinking about having screws drilled into the sides of your temples? Yeah, no thanks babes xxx

Simone was a total badass just hacking her arm straight off like that and living. Just sent it all the way and won, you love to see it.

4 — Silence Circle, SAW 3D

If someone asked me to do this trap I would actually just kill myself instead. Gun in my mouth, bang, gone. Same with all of these to be fair but the fucking idea of the key on a fishing hook in your stomach? And that just raking up your insides as you’re trying to take it out? Fuck that. Fuck. That. I think the only thing that would make me do this would be the other person pulling out the string because if I had to do that shit myself? I’d just scream as loud as I could to make the spikes impale me instantly. I am not doing that shit.

This one gets bumped down a bit because we don’t actually see the visual of the hook going up through her? Which makes it an easier watch than the others on this list, but I still think it deserved a place here because of the sheer insanity of the entire thing.

3 — Bone Marrow Trap, SAW X

Fuck. This. Trap.

Actually fuck it. In my opinion this was the most brutal trap in SAW X. Yes, I know some people make arguments for the brain surgery trap being pretty brutal and yes taking out your brain is just… Wow. And I’ll agree it is bad. But you don’t FEEL your brain.

THIS ON THE OTHER HAND?

CUTTING OFF YOUR LEG AT THE THIGH? WITH A GIGLI SAW NO LESS? The amount of blood loss, the fact if you want to live just have to take that fucking saw to your leg and just DO IT? And then once you’re done you have to take that stupid little fuckoff tube and stick it in your bone and get the bone marrow out, which is ALSO PAINFUL???

Also the part where she grabs the gigli saw in-front of her with her hands… Fuck, just fuck.

Valentina really didn’t deserve to die here, I won’t lie to you. She cut off her leg, was taking out the marrow. I believe had the tube thing for the vacuum to measure how much bone marrow or whatever the fuck had been shorter, she would’ve lived. Yes she started later but like, come the fuck on.

2 — Venus Fly Trap, SAW II

I’m going to start this with, this trap being the first trap of SAW II is an actually insane tone shift from what we had in the first movie. Like, the only trap I really consider brutal in SAW is the reverse bear trap, but we don’t even see that one go off since Amanda survives it.

So seeing this shit right out the gate is just… Oh my god. Wow. Just wow.

This trap has always given me reverse bear trap vibes in appearance, it’s probably the whole thing of, it’s on the head, closes, shuts whatever. I don’t know but it’s got a similar energy to it.

First of all, the whole nails in your face thing? Yeah, hate that. But what I’m most concerned about is the KEY BEHIND THE EYE.

FUCK.

THAT.

SHIT.

The visual of him cutting into his eyeball with the scalpel? And you actually just have to fucking go at it and just… ugh. I was pretty torn between either this trap or the Bone Marrow trap for this kinda reason. Cutting off a leg or cutting open your eye? And honestly the eye is just. Worse. Like just digging into your eye to get out a fucking key? Like all things given, at LEAST I can turn off my brain somewhat while cutting off my leg. Just back and forth with a saw. I don’t even have to look!

THIS? WHAT I’M CUTTING IS DOING THE LOOKING. I STRUGGLE TO PUT ON EYELINER, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO THIS?

1 — The Rack, SAW III

There is a reason why people think this trap is the worst one. There is a reason and it’s fucking obvious.

You’re on a mother-fucking crucifix looking ass thing, legs and arms out, and if this other guy doesn’t take a bullet for you, your limbs are going to be twisted.

YOUR ARMS, LEGS AND NECK are going to be ROTATED 360 DEGREES. ONE. BY. ONE.

Oh and the guy who’s taking the bullet for you? It’s Jeff by the way, stupid fucking Jeff. So you have no chance xxx

The visuals. I can’t watch this trap without looking away, I see the limbs start turning and my line of sight is directly away from the screen. No.

No.

The image of twisting flesh and the fucking shot where you see one of his legs start to move?

NO.

AND HIS HEAD. HIS FUCKING HEAD.

NO.

I DON’T NEED TO EXPLAIN WHY THIS IS NUMBER ONE. FUCKING LOOK AT IT.

Honourable mentions under the cut:

Honourable mentions go to The Angel Trap and Ten Pints of Sacrifice. I didn’t include the angel trap because I feel like, while yes getting your ribs ripped out is horrific, you don’t really suffer much while alive? Which to me, the more they suffer while alive or trying to complete their trap, the more brutal it is. Ten Pints of Sacrifice isn’t on here because I was doing 5, had I been doing like 10 you would’ve definitely seen this on here. Oh and also, Needle Pit isn’t on here because I’m entirely unfazed by it. I hate to do Mandy like this but I just personally don’t really wince at it at all.

[where-i-overanalyze]

the significant lack of parents in Soul Eater and how the DWMA combats that

obviously, there are some parents present throughout the entirety of Soul Eater, but they truly are not amongst the greatest: Medusa, Spirit, Lord Death (he's okay in comparison to everyone else, but still not dad of the year). i started this just wanting to talk about how there are almost no parents and then ended up realizing some sorta nice things about the DWMA by the end of it. manga spoilers, so beware.

characters who have living parents

let's start with Maka since she's the only one who has one parent present and one parent mentioned in somewhat detail. Spirit certainly is quite the character; he has almost no redeemable qualities except for the fact that he does actually love and support his child. that's all good, and yet he cannot correct his behavior to actually make himself a person that his daughter will respect. he cares so much and yet he does nothing to try and be a better father for her and what she actually needs from a parent.

but then we have Maka's "wonderful" unnamed mother. great mom, great meister, never given an example as to what this woman could really be like. i haven't been into Soul Eater for super long and i'm sure there are definitely people who have been shitting on Maka's mom, but it's interesting to me purely because even though there aren't many parents in Soul Eater to begin with, there is an even more extreme lack of mothers. i'm going to get nebulous with the definition throughout this post, but it really just seems like the "idea" of a good mother is all the characters get. Maka only gets memories of how great her mother was, maybe because she truly wasn't that great in the first place. a meister who made a death scythe is never to be seen throughout the greatest threat of all time within the past 800 years, not even to check on her one daughter? maybe she's busy? sure. idc what she's doing, but that's a strike out for me.

moving away from Maka's dubious parents, let's look at Kid and Lord Death. in truth, he's not nearly as bad as the other parents in terms of actual parenting, but he is clearly much different in relation to the other parents. he's not human, he's in charge of seemingly their entire world, and Kid is essentially just a chunk of Lord Death that was given sentience. with that, we have to think of exactly what is it that death gods even need in order to be raised. since Asura was a failed attempt, Kid was specifically "born with a childish nature so he [could] learn fear, much like humans" (DTK Soul Eater Wiki page). am i really citing a source in my Tumblr post, is this who i am. SO, thinking about what death gods are meant to do with their power and the fact that they are meant to keep balance in the world, i'd say that Lord Death did a pretty good job of getting Kid to become the best death god he could be. when it comes to actual "normal" parenting standards, idek if we can hold Lord Death up to those since they both are very much not normal. keeping Kid in the dark about some insanely important details about the academy (the Kishin in the basement) and letting Kid know that Lord Death would die when he awoke his true powers, maybe not the best choice, but i'll admit that i'm an extremist when it comes to people keeping important secrets that could have saved everyone a lot of time and trouble.

actually, i take some of my positive statements back when thinking about how Lord Death handled Asura. i know Asura was all powerful and just sort of super insane, but given the fact that Asura was a failed attempt of a fragment and Kid was Lord Death's way of trying again, it feels kind of wrong to give him a title of Decent Dad when his first attempt at making a young death god ended up so so so messed up. also, making a second one just in the hopes of solving your first mess up, kinda fucked up.

anyways, Tsubaki! she's honestly very interesting because we know that both of her parents are alive, but we see almost NOTHING about them. the only time we actually see her dad is in chapter 49 and that's basically it. her mom is mentioned, but we never even get to see her or get her name, so once again there is just no mother present at all and just the "idea" of her. given the fact that they pretty much neglected their other child to the point that he became a serial killer because he wasn't treated the same as Tsubaki, i can't give them much credit for good parenting. maybe Tsubaki came out okay and mild-mannered, but Masamune straight up just got neglected and went bonkers because of it.

and now we reach the grand finale of horrible present parents, Crona and Medusa. debated about putting her in the "dead parents" category, but Medusa is alive for the majority of Soul Eater, so she can stay here. obviously, Medusa's the absolute worst. she literally never has any good intentions for anything she does with Crona, she's extremely manipulative, blatantly abusive, etc. she literally dangles the concept of being a good mother in front of Crona to get them to obey her and in the end that gets her killed (and yet that STILL was part of her plan. she's literally insane). she also tricks other people into helping her by pretending she's worried about Crona. she contributes the mother "idea" again, though this time she is very present, just not as a good mother. i won't go into all the shit that Medusa did, we all know she was horrible. i go into more of Medusa's manipulation in this post.

characters who have dead parents

Black☆Star, i think, is the only character of the main cast that has confirmed dead parents. he never knew any of his clan and sort of renounces them (maybe renounce isn't the right word, but his whole character arc about choosing his own path and defeating Mifune makes it somewhat clear that he doesn't want to end up like his parents). we know about his father, White☆Star, but once again, the mother is never mentioned. from what we're shown . . . yeah, the Star clan sucked and were obsessed with power and whatnot. it's an interesting contrast with Tsubaki: they both come from very well known family lines with very different connotations surrounding them. to an outsider who knows about both of their families, it probably seems a bit sacrilegious for Black☆Star to be partnered with her in the first place.

characters whose parents are MIA

Liz and Patty at least have an "unnamed woman" shown as their mother for a single panel in chapter 78. the "prettiest prostitute in New York" obviously didn't do much to raise them since they were the Brooklyn Devils for a while. no mention of a father and an evidently absent mother, we are once again hit with the "idea" of a mother that isn't there. Liz literally says she hates her mother, thanks her for bringing her and Patty into existence, and nothing else is said about her. it's only after they get sorta "drafted" by Kid that they get to live a pleasant life. there's obviously also some things to say about economic status and being dealt a bad hand in life and whatnot, but i can get into that another time i think.

now, Soul. homie has got NO PARENTS EVER MENTIONED. the closest we get is Wes and unnamed grandma who is never shown. he's literally the only character we don't get shit for who his parents are, where they are, if they're even living and i think that speaks volumes. going off of assumptions, the fact that Soul literally renounced his family name, ran away to go to weapon school, and didn't play the piano for years until he was able to do it, sort of, on his own terms most likely means that his parents were some kind of horrible. also, being forced to play into a family legacy has got to be unhealthy. always feeling overshadowed by your older sibling who, obviously, has more experience is upsetting, but the fact that Soul was seemingly never reassured about his skills is dubious at best. i have strong feelings about forcing children into family legacies, maybe that can be its own post some day as well, and if your kid feels like they actually have to run away to escape it, well then i don't think it works out very well. it's incredibly important that we don't get any parental information from Soul and that we never hear anything about anyone from his family looking for him. maybe he told them he was leaving, but maybe he just slipped away and nobody bothered to look for him.

actual parental figures

while writing this, i realized that everyone in this category is a DWMA professor. DWMA as a whole seems to provide all of the main cast with a place to be that was much better than where they came from. Black☆Star and Maka sort of grew up in and around the DWMA, Soul, Liz, and Patty all came from much worse places before enrolling, Tsubaki and Kid kinda seem like they were chilling tbh, and of course Crona literally experiences positive emotions for the first time during their short time there. schools, ideally, should give their students the opportunity to grow in their skills and find a community with the students and teachers so that they can have an overall positive experience.

Marie is definitely the best example of this and despite the fact that she isn't even a mother (i refuse to acknowledge the unborn baby in chapter 113, most of that chapter is a black stain in my memory that even bleach couldn't remove), she is easily the healthiest mother figure in the entire series. she actually cares about the students even though she was initially reluctant to be a teacher. she worries about their wellbeing, she talks to them about their problems, and overall she is the closest to that "idea" of a mother that keeps showing up. i think part of this is because she sort of realizes that she has this power of being a teacher and a death scythe, but also there are points where she realizes she can't be reckless because she has to be there for the students (thinking specifically about the tempest and how she knows she can't go back in there to save them). she leaves an impression on Crona and she's one of the few people they actually remember Medusa's second wave of experiments she does on them. Crona saw her as a good, supportive person and it continually haunts them that they betrayed her. it's the exact opposite relationship they have with Medusa; Marie is only kind and understanding to Crona when they expect betrayal and hatred, and Medusa is only cruel when all Crona needed was some sort of . . . well, anything healthy.

Stein is interesting to me because he's more of a fun uncle than a "father" in my eyes. he doesn't coddle his students and sometimes he's a bit harsh with them, but this is purely because he knows they can achieve things they don't realize they're capable of. by the end of the manga, he fully acknowledges that, wow, these kids are pretty good at all of this!!! and i taught them this shit!!! go kids!!! now, all of this being said, i do not think he could be a real, healthy father unless someone sucked out all the madness in his brain out with a straw. even with no madness, i doubt he'd want kids because he's got all these spunky students to supervise. this is also why i refuse to acknowledge the chapter 113 unborn baby, i think Stein would know he couldn't be a father and gave himself a vasectomy.

finally, i want to talk a bit about Sid. i wish so badly that the manga went into some more detail about him practically raising Black☆Star after the DWMA eliminated the Star clan. they don't treat each other like father and son, but it's clear that Sid at least cared enough to make sure he was raised and trained well. it makes the mission where Sid and Naigus go into the Arachnophobia lab to destroy the machine and Black☆Star shows up kind of more interesting since Sid's like "Whoever that student is, thank god they're here" and then he's like "Wait a damn minute, that's MY student." it's also nice to see when Sid's proud of him and whatnot. i just like this dynamic they have where it's like not fully familial, but they're more than just a mentor and mentee.

in an attempt to come to a final point, i that the DWMA really gives something to all these characters that they needed and lacked in their familial situations. sounds cheesy and it is, but i find it so nice that such a pleasant and supportive school structure is found in a universe in which people turn into weapons and fight horrors and the school is training all these kids to fight horrors. Maka gets to chase after these legendary stories she's heard about her mother, and becomes arguably more successful than her mother. Soul gets the chance to make his own path outside of the family name he's abandoned and also gets to reclaim his music along the way. Black☆Star and Tsubaki get to be this duo that allows them to kind of get out of these super old expectations of their bloodlines and by working together they get to subvert these expectations and prove people wrong about the type of people they want to be. Liz and Patty got to escape the shitty holes they'd been born into and actually be people they were proud of. Kid was able to actually understand other people, to an extent, and it made him capable of becoming the next death god. The actual human kindness that Crona was shown there is eventually what lets them sacrifice themself for everyone else since they know that it will bring good in the end. the students in Soul Eater may have some real shit parents, but the DWMA is apparently there to fill in the void of those parents.

thank you for joining me for another long af Soul Eater post. i think my next endeavor will be tackling how the manga timeline works, b/c it's pretty fucked up imo

[destiny-in-the-universe]

Intern! Randy: RC9GN AU

So, I've decided to retouch on the fic and figure why not talk about it a little!

For those who are aware of the older posts, intern! Randy is a canon divergent storyline (set sometime in between the two seasons-) where it follows Viceroy's - I mean McFist, duh, latest plan to capture the Ninja. While I like to think they know the Ninja's a student, they're still under the impression it's an 800-year-old immortal and not literally a teenager for ahems reasons. Viceroy suggests the best way to uncover the Ninja's identity is by hosting an internship program for Norrisville High students.

Somehow, through silly cartoonish ways, Randy lands the interview though I like to think he still has skills Viceroy would be interested in (such as math). Things are going well at first surprisingly, and of course no one is suspecting a thing but then McFist - who isn't entirely as dumb as a bag of rocks - starts putting two and two together, realizing Randy sounds and acts somewhat like the Ninja. Though given how Viceroy has seen Randy's clumsiness, he easily dismisses it- thinking it's one of McFist's insane assumptions.

At some point because McFist is hardly subtle, Randy discovers the true purpose of the internship program - only he can't exactly quit without arising suspicion and decides he might as well use being an intern to his advantage. Deciding to keep each other on their toes, between McFist still convinced Randy could be the Ninja and Randy trying to stop their plans, things are only a mess waiting to happen.

Now on to my favorite part!

Due to the nature of this AU, I like to think that the Sorcerer isn't so involved just to further push the adoptive father-son narrative I want between Viceroy and Randy. This is going to be a fairly lighthearted and comedic storyline, but I felt like covering other stuff that might be included too!

Thoughts for Intern! Randy

One thing I thought of was the idea that Randy lives at the McFist manor-? Now, I will say Viceroy lives there too since that seems vaguely implied in canon- (and because I said so, duh). Instead of Randy having to commute so much, at least it saves him time in getting to McFist Industries.

Randy happens to be good at coding since it makes sense to me- like, the hyperfixation of video games aside, I just thought it would be neat but guess what: I, in fact, do not know coding so bear with me here. On the account of I wanted to, I also felt it would be a great way for Viceroy and him to bond- also that if Viceroy is somehow involved in the production of video games (sort of, if you count "Weinerman Up" as an example of this!), then Randy's going to flock to him more than McFist.

I do think there's the potential that Bash and Randy get a little closer, but they're not fully friends - they just learn to tolerate each other a little better.

Due to some potentially wacky shenanigans, I do like to think Viceroy eventually catches on there's something strange going on with Randy- if the odd timing's between his disappearances and the Ninja's sudden arrival isn't already a strange coincidence. (coughs except every adult in the show is stupid coughs)

But moving on!

I am honestly just looking forward to the other general shenanigans that may happen in this because- there's a lot that has to be considered if, well, everyone's convinced the Ninja is literally 800 years old. Like are they just blind?? (or is it some ancient magic coming into play whenever the mantle is handed down to the next freshman because Finja was absolutely not a freshman- when did the switch happen to freshmen being the ones to take on the title? I'll talk about this later, as per usual)

Anyway-

There's probably going to be some angst coming into play, but nothing too major because the purpose of this AU is honestly pretty light in comparison to say, The Kitsune and the Ninja or ITNV. Though I want to keep things interesting- hence why other stuff will be coming into play eventually.

Now unfortunately, I am considered scrapping the original WIP and making it slightly more interesting because my latest introductions to the fanfics have felt somewhat boring in comparison to what I could write. Though without much further ado, I hope you come to enjoy this!

I don't have the slightest clue when the fanfic will be complete, but hopefully this will be soon!

[raplinesmoon]

a somewhat comprehensive, unhinged guide to seventeen's smiles

say the name! it's isi, wasting time and doing everything but what she actually needs to do. in today's episode, we are busting out the dental analysis once more because i have a new hyperfixation: the talented men of none other than SEVENTEEN! now, since i can't stop staring at pics of them, i will just put my energy to (some?) good use and talk about their teeth (since it's what i love)! cue the chip skylark playlist 🦷

disclaimer: this is not me dragging any member or trying to make a comment on their attractiveness based on their teeth. they are all very very handsome men and i'm just going off an objective formula for these analyses!

choi seungcheol (s.coups)

Coups, Coups, Coups! ok so he had an adorably gummy smile beforehand, like literally insanely adorable T_T. as a fellow gummy smile haver and enthusiast, i'm almost sad he got rid of it, but it does make sense aesthetically. if you can notice between the two pics, his gummy smile is reduced and i also think the length of his teeth have changed. it might be twofold; due to both gingivectomy (a procedure to remove some of and recontour the gums) as well as veneers (his teeth are a lot more square now than they used to be)! also the second pic is a bit blurry but i think the veneers had the added benefit of his teeth arc following the contour of his lower lip more closely which is considered aesthetically ideal. and they also fill out his smile so that there are less gaps in between the back teeth and the cheek, so the smile appears more full!

yoon jeonghan (jeonghan)

is this post just gonna be me being sad about ppl getting their teeth done even though i'm a dentist? maybe maybe. ughhh jeonghan used to have that adorable chip in his front tooth, and i'm pretty sure he got veneers to fix it too T_T. i will say though, his teeth look sooo white and his smile is cute despite the minor imperfections that existed before. his smile is considered on the aesthetically ideal side because his lip covers a portion of his front teeth and there's no gum on display. jeonghan definitely had braces too, because i can see his tooth alignment improve from the first to second pic. also he is a bottom teeth smiler unlike so many kpop idols, so points for him because he loves showing them off and i love teeth!

joshua hong (joshua)

listen, am i gonna have to fight seventeen's dentist because what is going on? i understand why the bunny teeth aren't an ideal aesthetic choice, but plssss! they were too cute. fun fact: bunny or buck teeth can be caused by a number of things, and one of them is thumb sucking as a kid (so imagine baby Joshua being adorable noww). i would say Joshua's front teeth have definitely changed shaped due to veneers, and honestly his smile right now is very straight and aesthetically pleasing (look at how it follows that lip line damn).

wen junhui (jun)

ok but like i love Jun for giving me so much to talk about with his teeth? they're so fun and unique and i love that for him! first, we have to address the absolutely adorable gap teeth! they do seem like they've disappeared in the second pic, but i'm gonna chalk that up to invisalign because i don't believe the actual shape of his teeth have changed (which they would with veneers). more evidence for that is that i feel like his bottom teeth used to be crooked and now they appear more straight. also, if you look at jun's smile arc, it doesn't follow his lip, it goes up and down, like the wings of a bird (this is called a gull wing arc).

kwon soonyoung (hoshi)

oh hoshi, what in the horanghae? you can tell his smile has undergone some pretty dramatic changes. the adorable crooked teeth are no more. honestly, the veneers probably did help with that large piece of gum in between his front teeth before, because changing the shape of the teeth will also force the gums to adapt to the change. his teeth also looked a little more pointy to me before, especially the canines, but it is very common for veneers to come in sets, and honestly if you want to completely transform a smile, working from canine to canine is the way to do it.

jeon wonwoo (wonwoo)

no you don't understand bv wonwoo's smile actually breaks my heart (and not just because he's so freaking attractive). wonwoo is a crook because he had me completely fooled. like damn his teeth are so nice, i thought he just underwent a bit of invisalign and whitening. so imagine my shock when the good people of the internet informed me that wonwoo has veneers! honestly, my hats off to his dentist, because while i can definitely spot the changes (softer, more rounded teeth), i think his smile still retains a lot of characteristics of what made the old one so charming, and striking that balance is really hard to do as a clinician.

lee jihoon (woozi)

i hate to bring up the yoongi doppleganger agenda, but i literally think that's why i find woozi's smile so endearing. although I've gotta say that their smiles are one of the less similar features they share. Woozi has those adorable lil vampire fangs, but he does have very short, kind of chubby teeth, which are traditionally associated with a more youthful appearance! also his teeth are lined up really well, and if you look at the second pic you'll hear me scream bc he has a silver crown! those are hard to come by, but it makes me happy that he goes to the dentist and keeps up with his check-ups!

lee seokmin (DK)

hehe so i've already had the privelege of staring in depth at DK's smile thanks to this ask from @hannahbee12719. so i will just reiterate that i think DK has a Disney Prince-esque smile. his teeth are so straight like compliments to his orthodontist! his heart shaped smile means that his lip contour relative to tooth arc is a little off, but the lopsided grin makes him very college crush coded! DK is the perfect example of how much gum you should show if you want to remain aesthetically ideal (he's just cute ok sue me!)

kim mingyu (mingyu)

gyu and these teeth! he's also been one of the members whose had a pretty dramatic smile makeover. Before we get to that though, can i compliment how despite everything, his cute little vampire canines are still alive and kicking. like they make his smile so unique and lovely. the biggest change to mingyu's smile is definitely his lateral incisors - before they were what are known as peg laterals (their odd shape is due to a developmental anomaly)! after what i think are veneers, the laterals are definitely contributing to a more even and more balanced smile.

xu minghao (the8)

listen, i'm not even gonna lie to anyone and say that as a professional, i don't have a favourite svt smile because that's absolutely not true. it's this one right here your honor! idk what kind of magic is in minghao's teeth but they are so straight and shiny. and they've always been that way! like damn if there was an oscar for kpop smile he'd win best in show! i love that his teeth are natural and not overly blocky (which you can get when someone has veneers or crowns), and like idk if he's genetically gifted or whatever, but if not, the awkward teenage braces he probably had definitely paid off!

boo seungkwan (seungkwan)

booo! look at this absolute sweetheart and his amazing heart shaped smile. right off the bat, seungkwan's smile does that adorable up and down arc (although less severe than jun's), which makes it look like a little bird taking off (maybe that's why he can hit those high notes?). also big ups to him because his bottom teeth seem relatively straight and that is hard for bottom teeth to do since there's more limited space for them to come in due to the tongue and muscles blocking them out!

chwe hansol (vernon)

no bc i'm actually gonna cry because wdym we have pics of vernon with braces? i feel like a proud mom seeing how far he's come in his dental journey. like look at those adorable little kid sized teeth turn into the stunners they are today! i will say i think the ortho and veneers definitely paid off for vernon, his teeth look super straight, and definitely lend him a more mature, masculine appearance. and he does have a super gummy smile, but i'm so glad he's embracing it (gummy smiles are the best okay?). and literally how do so many svt members have heart shaped smiles (are you trying to make me fall in love with you?)

lee chan (dino)

the whiplash? ok mr. dino? i think he's the perfect example of how you can transform a smile but still keep the same facial features and characteristics intact. you can definitely see that Dino's teeth appear more square in the second pic to lend him a more mature appearance, but they've kept the edges rounded because that's a defining characteristic of his teeth. the (alleged?) veneers also make them look more straight and take away some of that awkward teenage appearance (nothing wrong with that). you can also see how his smile appears more filled out in the second pic with less empty space in between the back teeth and cheek.

that's all for today, peeps! thank you for joining me on this wild, unhinged journey that took longer than i care to admit to put together, and i hope you enjoyed! maybe we'll see more smile analyses in the future ;)

[rosepetalkitty]

Oh also just because I love watching you infodump about stuff and equally love learning more about people: 11, 13, 15, 16, 19, 21, 22, 26, 33, 36, 38, 39, 40, 41, 44 :)

link to the questions so you can follow along

11: @mnmurmur

13: if you mean kinks, hypnosis and pet play probably but the latter kinda fluctuates. if you mean "things people can do to fluster me", putting a finger to my lips and shushing me or trapping me (like pinned against a wall for example) and forcing me to listen while you mess with my brain

15: a really close call between the first four pirates of the caribbean movies (didn't like the direction dmtnt tried to take things), but i think i have to go with dead man's chest

16: you respect my boundaries, give good aftercare and don't expect dominance from me, even if i get to show it sometimes.

19: i take notes about people! i don't think that's weird though tbh. i have "people cards" in my pkms to keep track of birthdays, who's taller than who, which people are in relationships with each other, etc. and it makes keeping up with social interactions wayyyy easier for me.

21: ooh that's tough... probably the fact that im good at comforting people when they're scared/anxious. or at least im pretty sure that's the case...

22: well, career wise im going into systems administration, but also i wanna pass as a woman, i wanna be fully able to support myself financially, i wanna make more friends who i can actually hang out with instead of just people who come to me for help on coding assignments, and i wanna get more comfortable being at parties and stuff because i love social interaction and just kinda don't know how to get into situations where that happens. sorry for this one being so long lmfao

26: people telling me to do things im already trying to do oh my god it drives me insane. yes, mom, i am actually capable of remembering to do the thing i just told you i was frustrated at the difficulty doing. "well, make sure you do x" is not a helpful response to "im trying to do x and it's a pain"

33: being told im pretty is nice but like honestly, being told that people actually enjoy interacting with me is my favorite compliment because i have a lot of self doubt around that.

36: somewhere urban and walkable, but not stupidly silly expensive. alternatively, puerto rico, see also 41.

38: at first i wanted to be a marine biologist (i really liked dolphins) but then i realized i didn't really like biology, so i decided i was gonna build robots and found out i didn't like all the math involved, and then when i was like. 11? i settled on coding and that evolved into systems administration by the time i was in high school. now it's my major in uni!

39: cookie dough. although i would enjoy it just as much without the ice cream part (i loooove raw cookie dough, some brands make cookie dough that's safe to eat raw and it's everything to me), so i guess uhhhhh tough call between mint and coconut

40: i wish i passed, i wish i was shorter, i wish i had a job, i wish i didn't have anxiety and depression and all the various executive functioning issues, i wish i was the kind of person people would invite to parties, and i wish all the trauma ive collected from my childhood hadn't made a lot of the things i want to enjoy terrifying to me.

41: god, honestly i wish i could move to puerto rico (where my dad is from) because it's a beautiful place and im really emotionally connected to it. i haven't been to the island since i was a kid and i just want to go back :(

44: as of somewhat recently i am an ordained minister. the church of the flying spaghetti monster will ordain you for $60 online, and i can legally marry people as long as i'm dressed as a pirate in (i think?) most states (pennsylvania can't take a joke but afaik the rest won't stop me). i did this on a whim and myrrh and i have agreed that it's probably the best $60 i've spent to date.

[melit0n]

In no particular order, (or in order, if you can rank them) what are your top 5 Ethel Cain songs? 🎤

Oh Tonee, this is like opening up one of five music based Pandora boxes for me 😭 please forgive the rambling.

Family Tree from Preacher's Daughter

This song drives me MAD. I could talk about her vocals in every song, but her voice in this makes me buzz. The bass throughout is ominous and incredible: same can be said for the SFX. I'm a sucker for when artists add in extra things like that. The flies put me on edge (which links it to Ptolemaea and eventually Sun Bleached Flies) and the bell ringing out during the first chorus makes me feel like I'm attending a funeral. Literally 'for whom the bell tolls', which kind of foreshadows her death later on in the album.

I genuinely think the lyrics are the closets I've come to a religious experience. "They say 'Heaven hath no fury like a woman's scorn', and baby Hell don't scare me, I've been times before." Insane. Ate and left not a single crumb. Her dead tone on "I've killed before and I'll kill again", being a callback to Two-Headed Mother's "I've loved before, I'll kill again" is just. Ugh. I can't even describe it.

+ Special mention to Family Tree (intro). I haven't, and will probably never, get over "Jesus can always reject his father, but he cannot escape his mother's blood."

Televangelism from Preacher's Daughter

There's very few songs, to me, that encapsulate a painful yet quiet death well, and this is certainly one of them. It's a solemnly comforting tune. Considering lore wise, it's meant to represent Ethel's soul coming out of the basement after she's been killed, it makes sense.

The first half genuinely sounds like something the pianist in my Catholic School used to play before prayer started. The fact that it was entirely improvised is absolutely insane, too.

Plus, the incredibly smooth switch from August Underground to this is brilliant.

Ptolemaea from Preacher's Daughter

Literally every part of this song is amazing (pretty much all of Preacher's Daughter is a work of art to be honest). It's definitely one of the few songs that genuinely unnerves me; still has the same creeping, fearful effect after the hundreds of time that I've listened to it.

First, off: The title is a reference to the ninth and final layer of Dante's Inferno: betrayal. Ptolemy commits treachery (a betrayal of trust), which lands him in the ninth circle, hence its name. This is what Isaiah does to Ethel. It's a somewhat niche reference that I love.

Secondly, Death's monologue (some people also interpret this voice as Isaiah, the man who kills and cannablises Ethel by the end of PD, but I'm just generalising it as The Grim Reaper) is so, so eerie. The repetition switching between "Heard you, saw you, felt you, gave you" to "Need you, love you, love you, love you" with Ethel screaming and asking for him to stop in the background always gives me chills.

Thirdly, all the lyrics go hard in this one. "Calling me the one, I'm the white light: beautiful, finite", "Even the iron still fears the rot" and "I am the face of love's rage" are some of my favourites.

Honestly? The entire song puts me on edge. Listening to it, I feel like I'm millimetres away from the sharp point of a knife. The build up to her screaming "stop" is full of panic, but cathartic.

Two-Headed Mother from Inbred

The distorted guitar at the start mixed with her vocals itches my brain so well. Her tone and dictation in this is really 'soft' too, and more spoken than sang, which I adore. It sounds less like a song and more like being hummed an eerie tune as you drift in and out of sleep.

Overall, despite the topic (of both the song and album in general: it's called Inbred for a reason) the beat is an absolute groove. Never in my life would I have expected a song about trauma passed on from a mother so a daughter to have such a blend to it.

On the note of the topic, just, hello?? It mixes a mother's hatred and love and passes it down to a child who sees it in every man she sees. Let alone paints her lover in a horrible image in order to remove guilt from how badly she's treating him. Just how her dead mother still has dictation over her, she exerts the same amount of control on her lover. She knows very well that her two headed mother brought her here and can send her right back.

Head in the Wall from Golden Age

This one just encapsulates so, so much religious based anger and debilitating depression. Every single lyric oozes with pain and I always have to like, sit down when this comes on.

Growing up a Catholic kid, in a not so nice religious environment, yeah. Just yeah. Misogyny was rife and "It's always my fault: girls will be bitches, and boys will be boys" resonates with me a lot. I could say a prayer wrong and be told to sit outside in Winter to do my work for the rest of the day, and a boy could chase me around the playground, pull my hair and try to punch me and it's still be my fault because boys will be boys.

The whole song just illustrates a very depressive mindset, being more angry towards yourself, and then moving on to environmental factors to try and shift blame in an attempt to stop feeling shitty. For those reasons, I don't listen to Golden Age or Carpet Bed all too much because they sucker punch me right in the chest a little bit too painfully, but HITW is still a favourite.

[m3nt4llyr4v3d]

Lila’s Potential

Say what you want about people letting headcanons dictate how people expect the show to turn out, but I wanted Lila to be so much more.

I was expecting a cunning, smart, manipulative person who can weasel her way out of any situation with sickly sweet words, someone who plans out her revenge, someone who gets by on their smarts alone in a universe with superheroes and supervillains. And since this character was, you know, a teenager, I was expecting to have some semblance of sympathy, or at least some sort of backstory to her to explain why she is/thinks the way she is/thinks. Someone whose defeat feels cathartic, but whose comeback feels even better!

But what did I get?

I got a petty high schooler who spreads easily disproven lies to everyone around her, to the aspiring journalist, and everyone takes it at face value, even all the (incompetent) adults around her. Has literal plot armor to make everyone around her dumb as bricks, so much so that when Adrien, who literally works with her, is assumed to be slandering her under his girlfriend’s name when there’s no fucking reason to believe he’d do that. Someone who, for some reason, has 3 different mothers who we’re supposed to believe are all convinced she’s their daughter, and multiple identities for some reason, and came into school in one of her fake identities for some reason. Oh, and that defeat? Well she had another identity to immediately fall back on, so it honestly doesn’t matter. Oh, and her acquiring the butterfly miraculous? She just did, don’t question it. Her way of thinking and why she’s so “smart”? Oh she’s just a psychopath

Just how am I supposed to feel when it’s revealed that Lila has another identity (Cerise) that people in that city know her by? That she’s just wearing a wig? I’m pretty sure all of her caretakers have seen her in this wig, are they convinced that Lila is their daughter or Cerise? How much do they know? Are they 3 separate mothers unaware of each other? Why does she lie to 3 women about this?

I’m sure we might (MIGHT) get some sort of explanation in Season 6, but goddamn, what insanity. My problem isn’t the twist itself (not fully), but rather the fact that it came out of fucking nowhere and we’re just supposed to roll with it

Honestly was hoping we’d at least see some, like, foreshadowing? Like the hacking thing? Let’s just say she’s seen hanging out with Max, or we see a scene of her asking him to teach her something about computers. Max and Markov are literal super geniuses who can hack into the Tsurugi system (she’s a tech mogul so it’s real difficult), it’s reasonable that Lila could’ve asked him to tutor her. The 3 moms thing? If you’re insistent on keeping that, just have her slip up on occasion whenever she’s asked about her family, or say that it’s complicated all sad like (personally I like the latter). The whole multiple identities thing? Have her take acting classes, or constantly volunteering for plays or the occasional movie the class does. Have her suddenly acting really sad or really happy, some type of extreme emotion that confuses her classmates, but she reveals she’s just practicing her acting. This can somewhat be her way of gauging how her classmates react (studying them somewhat) as well as her get out of jail free card if she’s caught lying, just say she’s acting! (Might be flimsy but I kind of like it)

Point is, those are just me throwing ideas at the wall. I’m not asking for exactly what I said, but damn, I was expecting her to be an actual threat, makes me kind of sad

[gaypyro]

Rating the New Champions Variant Covers

So marvel recently revealed a bunch of Varient Covers of "What if every hero had a sidekick/youth counterpart" and while I love most of the designs, some definately are better then others

#22

I hate the Vision Design and I dont know why. Something just feels fundamentally off about it/ Maybe its the fact its a pitch white, skintight 8 year old? Maybe its the posing? The Debris? IDK Man is feels weird.

#21

and

#20

These two get paired together for a single reason

It's just Billy and Teddy. I love Billy and Teddy, their some of the only actual Gay Men in Marvel, but come one guys. Certainly you can do a young Dr. Strange and Young Hulk thats different? Strange goes higher if only because I like the art more, the Young Hulk I just dislike entirely

#19

Speaking of uninspired, the only reason Miles is above Billy & Teddy is that at least shes a different gender then her mainline counterpart. Other then that its probably the laziest design here. Also, you may notice the webbing seems off, that will be a recurring trend here where limbs or background elements were layered improperly or something.

#18

I actually really like this character design. It looks like a fun character in a superhero elementry school spin-off book. The only issue um... thats Storm. Its the next gen Storm and she's white. That's basically my only issue, and why shes above the 3 I actively somewhat dislike designwise, but... Storm is one the premiere Black Superheros. Having her next gen counterpart be white feels so weird. I

#17

On one hand, I can 100% see normal Deadpool wearing this. On the other, the My Boy adds way to much charm for me to rate it with the other uninspired ones, and at least I dont feel like its whitewashing anything. We are at the point where I'd unironically love to see any of these designs in a book, even if its an Elseworld instead of main universe one.

#16

Teen Female Wolverine has been done to death, but I do like how this one goes for a more monstrous Angle compared to Laura and Gabby. The tattered, beast up costumes, beastial feet, large Ponytail giving off the deelling of a mane, nasty looking teeth, and BONE CLAWS very much makes it feel more like a feral forest mutant then the more clean, assassin design Laura had.

#15

The big thing I like here is it isn't a reimagining of Carol Danvers current, captain marvel outfit, but her Miss Marvel ones. We already have Kamala for a new gen version of Carols current design, so a reimigining of the old one, in a way that doesn't feel super fetishy is nice. First I thought it was a dude, but it might be a girl? Unsure.

#14

I really love this design, but it doesn't really scream Black Panther... and I honestly dont care. I love bright colors, makes my brain go byr, and the fact she has a completely different powerset most likely intrigues me.

#13

I have a weakness for fishpeople of all types ok? I find the designs naturally appealing. Even still, Starlord's Chibi Starfish Successor is neat, but not amazing. The ideas done a lot better later on.

#12

He looks like he is having so much fun with his Mentor. I also like how, unlike everyone else, Black Cat's Apprentice is kinda chubby. I don't know man he just seems like he'd be a fun guy to hang out with at college.

#11

Whats better then a succesor to one hero? a Succesor to TWO HEROES! The Captain America Succesor I feel very much has some elements of Wasp design, and I always am down for High Tech Wingspans even if they weren't intentionally going for it.

#10

Instead of being the Scarlet witch they made her the Magenta Witch. All in all I just really like the sorta sorceror design, especially the chosen color scheme. Also ghostly mystical fire is fun you should follow it into the swamp.

#9

Listen I love this design. Its in the top 10 for a reason but man... that arm. Every time I see the image I cant help but notice how insanely small his arm is, like he was supposed to have both arms resting but they decided "Have him twirl a stake so people know its blade."

#8

Moon Squire is here to kick ass and pass third grade math! I just like the Cowl mixed with baseball cap design lol. Moon Knight always fucking kills it with the drip though so im not surprised.

#7

A Friend told me It's Gwen Tennyson cosplaying Magneto and now I cant not see it. I do like that shes implied to have a different powerset then Eric as well, always fun when they did that.

#6

The better Chibi Venom. Only missed the top 5 since I dont think he'd be able to carry a book as the main protag, he is the perfect sidekick though. Just this mildly creepy cutie pootie handing with the fairly creepy Symbiote. After Extreme Venomverse shouldn't be surprised the Venom varient is amazing, but I am suprised thats the direction they went.

#5

If Next Gen Storm and Next Gen Moon Knight are in the Elementary School book, Wee-Hulk is the main god damn character. She's just a very fun little kid hulk, I especially love how shes doing the Iconic "She-Hulk holds a Car Above her head" pose with an electric scooter.

#4

Listen, Non-Binery Latin America Iron Man with the Criminally Underused Grey Armor design is great. They gpt Green Hair, Pronouns, and the backing of Americas #1 Arms Dealer, ready to take on the world!

#3

The Thing has become one of them Yancy Street Kids, and the Fantastic Four are his gang. I just love the design, Spiky Rock person is always a favorite of mine.

#2

Miku Ghost Rider. On Roller Skates. With a fucking Hellfire Flail. I am imagining she has an entire like, Magical Girl Transformation Sequence whenever she transforms, just with a lot more demons and fire then normal.

#1

Listen, I get it. Legs dont bend like that. She is objectively less creative then the last 3 or 4. But, I like Crows. I like Ravens. I like Thor. And this Thor looks like she wont take any of Odins BS when he goes shit dad mode.

[thisbuildinghasfeelings]

Anne I'm here to be insane about the time line because I know you are the number 1 hater of timeline nonsense 🤝

I NEED to know if there's a time jump or not so badly. Because if there isn't one because Owen's looking for a lieutenant to replace Judd but Charlie is also somehow now like 4 I'm gonna scream so loud they will hear a disturbance at the Fox studio in LA

I appreciate the acknowledgement of my Lone Star timeline...expertise? Fixation? Though I don't think I'd really call myself a hater! In fact, I am fascinated and thoroughly amused by the ridiculousness of the timeline! I can't wait to see how much worse it gets in season 5.

I think there MUST be some kind of time jump at some point in season 5. We know Carlos is switching jobs and we know that Wyatt is recovering from his injuries at the end of season 4 sufficiently to become a 911 dispatcher. Those things alone seem to warrant a somewhat significant time jump.

There's also the fact that the show always does at least a bit of a time jump between seasons. We've never picked up right where we left off, with the slight exception of the very beginning of season 3, but then after the first couple minutes we got an 8 month time jump.

The show also tends to try to tie episodes to the date that they are airing and it will have been nearly a year and a half in real time since season 4 ended. For that reason, I think the most likely thing will be a time jump approximately equivalent to the time that's passed in real life.

The main question I have right now is WHEN that time jump will occur. I'm thrown a bit by the fact that Owen will be looking for a replacement for Judd at the beginning of the season. So does this mean that we ARE picking up about where we left off? Or did Owen wait a year and a half to find a replacement for Judd? Honestly, I think either could be possible 😂

One potential theory I have is that we will pick up about where we left off at the end of season 4 for the train derailment arc, and sometime after that, there will be a mid-season time jump. Another option could be a time jump at the very start of the season with the inclusion of flashbacks to what happened during the time we missed.

Regardless, I will be shocked if there's absolutely no time jump at all. I'm hoping we might get a better sense of it when we get a real season trailer, which has to be SOON!