#but no legit this is just. this is top tier.

[arvandus]

Obey Me has taken over… omgggg….. JJK is trying to bust through but Obey Me says “NOPE ONLY ME”

But what’s this??? IT’S GENSHIN IMPACT COMING IN WITH A STEEL CHAIR. Can Obey Me hold its own within the chaos that is my mind?

Only time will tell….

[your-local-uwu-artist]

IS THAT THE AUTHOR OF WAX AND WANE??!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

HI HELLO YES UM HI HEELLO WOW WOWZIES UM HEELLO HI YES HI HELLO UM WOW HOLY SHIT GAHHHHHH

you know that bit that happens in tv where someone meets a celeb says 'excuse me' goes ot the other room to squeal then comes back with a straight face? yeah well thats happenign to me right now oh wow

NINJAGO DOODLE DUMP

had to get some drawings off my chest before starting season 7 (on ep 5 btw)

[skunkovich]

Rewatching Haunting of Hill House with the bf and like it's still actually good... after the recent HARD misses by Mr Flanagan I kinda assumed he'd always been bad and I'd got it wrong

[minswriting]

a lil list of my favorite authors

hello my loves! i decided that i will be making a small post with my favorite cm writers. go ahead and check them out to read their fics!! this isn’t everyone but just a few of my top fic writers fr.

@brattyspence - my pookie wookie. she writes angst and fluff. i personally ADORE her fluffy pieces, especially her dad!spence fics!! she writes for only spencer

@esote-rika - erika, my QUEEN. she writes for spencer and writes a lot of 18+ content. her work is literally just gold

@incognit0slut - lou is legit like one of my favorite writers on here. she writes only spencer content and they’re all just *chef’s kiss*. her blog is MDNI!

@mariasont - MARIA MY HOMEGIRL!! she writes the best bimbo!reader x hotch fics. i literally SCREAM when she posts a new fic because they’re literally all so good. she writes for both spencer and aaron!!

@mggslover - lover, my lover. i adore her fics so much. especially her aaron content as she recently started writing for hotch!! she writes for both spencer and hotch and it’s all SO GOOD!

@aureatelys - DENISE AHHHH she writes for hotch and is an 18+ blog. her dbf hotch fics literally make me SCREAM. they’re so fucking good. literally top tier fics for me and i adore them so much.

@beenreidingaboutyou - eliza, my POOKIE. she’s such a good spencer writer and she just wrote her first ever smut fic which CAME OUT SO GOOD!! literally shat bricks reading it. i loved it so much.

@kiwriteswords - LITERALLY SOME OF THE BEST HOTCH FICS I HAVE EVER READ. top tier 100%. adore her so very much and her fics are just AHHHHH.

@reidrum - arya, i adore you so much. her spencer fics are just so good and when she writes smut? bitch i’m in love fr.

like stated before, this isn’t everyone because it would be so much to put absolutely everyone lol. but regardless, enjoy!!!

[passionpeachy]

I am legit stunned that you haven't been hired to work on an animation project. Your work is top tier.

Thank you so much! To be fair, I don’t have a proper animation portfolio to apply with (though I did once apply to Primos just to see what would happen. I did not get hired lol)

I’m also not 100% sure it’s something I want, since I’m very prone to fatigue and the state of the animation industry seems pretty rocky right now even for those that are established.

But I actually did contribute to an online animation project once! I did some still-shots for the Moomin Reanimated project ^_^

[luludeluluramblings]

dream team yappers back on our nonsense again—-

oh brucie is gnna be MADDDDDD

even better if the family tries to force reader to let them have a relationship with their baby.

they can’t understand why sugarbaby baby turns into a young toddler that HATES them. reader know manipulations about them will fall through eventually, but telling a kid that the waynes hurt mommy and tried to hurt daddy??? oh, two can be manipulative family. and reader will NOT have the waynes near her child.

imagine if she took it to the media that they won’t leave her alone- or alternatively, blackmailed them into staying away. the way her thumb is hovering over a post button that would put proof of the batfamily’s vigilante antics onto the net…

I feel like the Gotham media is an underused plot devise, but I also think it's difficult to work with.

We can all mostly agree that the fanon Wayne family are the Kardashians of Gotham, so SugarBaby!Reader having such public issue's with the family would be fun. Plus, can you imagine all the hoops the family will have to go through just to keep up their public image? Good thing Dick grew up in the circus because their lives would end up becoming one.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

Now, the thing about the kid hating the family can be legit. Especially if Reader and Older!Hubby live outside of Gotham. But, when your a kid you kinda fall for all sorts of manipulations. So, yes, they hurt mommy and daddy, but their also really really sorry. The groveling in this would be fun.

(Also the way Older!Hubby would cuddle the fuck outta y'all's kid as a passive aggressive way to prove that he was a better father than Bruce ever was, top tier. We stan equally petty Hubby!)

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

As for Bruce, this is his worse nightmare. Like if Older!Hubby was someone he knew he'd feel slightly better because chances are he already has a contingency plan for him. But, if Bruce doesn't know him that means he has to start from scratch and he's not gonna enjoy doing surveillance on the guy who regularly rearranges his daughter's guts.

[starreyblueberry]

Bro I don’t think anyone understands how cosmo and wanda would fully feel, like I always hear about peri but we had multiple confirmations on how Timmy was legit their favorite god child, and it’s confirmed they stayed with him till he was 17. Whenever they were taken away from him they would SOB, like in every episode were timmy was away they actually couldn’t handle themselves. He is haunting the narrative and cosmo and wandas minds, there’s no way they don’t stay up thinking about him, and his whole entire life. There’s no way there’s no small regret in being able to stay in his life forever, there’s no way they just moved on. Don’t get me wrong I love hazel sososos much like top tier godkid, but timmy was like a son to them, family that no one can replace, and I rlly feel like we miss out on the angst on their side!!

[xi-vz]

I have this Shang Qinghua hc where he’s an actual all-out BAMF. Like, he knows how to kick ass and take names. He can fight better than everyone, he’s powerful af, and he’s practically perfect at anything he does. He created the PIDW world, and he bends it to his will. Like, he’s legit a God™️. And he keeps that tidbit to himself, but sometimes he has trouble hiding it.

One time he beat Liu Qingge in a brutal training fight (one that SQH didn’t even want to participate in), but accidentally-on-purpose trips and hurts himself afterwards, making everyone believe it was a one-off thing.

He’s a better cook than Luo Binghe, although no one knows that until the chef for A Ding gets sick and SQH has a bunch of starving kids to deal with.

SQH is also super charming and naturally flirtatious. He’s on the logistics peak, meaning he has to talk to merchants and negotiate prices and deals. He has a fucking silver tongue. Not in a slimy way, but in the same way as Binghe. (LBH got his personality from somewhere.) SQH’s charm was partially what got Mobei Jun to be interested enough not to kill him when they were teens.

SQH can use The System to his advantage and become omnipotent if he wanted to. He doesn’t, because it takes a lot of work, but he could. In fact, he hacked The System when he was still an infant, it does whatever he tells it. Including giving him infinity points. Sometimes it’ll give him a mission, but SQH treats it like an annoying pop-up ad.

SQH is ruthless, manipulative, and can crush anyone like an ant mentally, physically and emotionally. He actually put a lot of himself into LBH while writing the book. And he kind of regrets that because the two really can’t stand each other due to how similar they are. Although LBH doesn’t realize it.

His cultivation is top tier. He’s actually the strongest cultivator in the world—but it wasn’t because he worked his ass off. He just rigged the game.

I can see him acting pathetic and dramatic to deflect because then he’s underestimated af. Also, the fake tears? His son does the same exact thing. But SQH on the inside is highly amused by everything. Especially Binghe. He loves his son, and knows what LBH is capable of, but it only makes him laugh. Internally, of course. Like, this whole world is hilarious to him.

SQH is smart and because these are his creations, he can outsmart any of them. It’s lonely though, being a God among men. So, instead of using his actual abilities, he doesn’t. Why would he interfere with anyone’s lives? Why do anything for people who were cruel towards him at times, not realizing they should fear him. He has an ego, but at the same time what was the point? He’s a selfish and lazy God™️.

When Shen Yuan transmigrates into SQQ he becomes the only person Shang Qinghua doesn’t know how to read. And it’s refreshing, it makes SQH feel human for the first time in decades.

TL:DR - HC that SQH is a literal God™️ but keeps it a secret. He prefers being an underestimated dude.

[enabuns]

Hi all! I don’t tend to post as frequently on here as I’d like but I wanted to first, thank all of you for the love you show me and my silly drawings, it means so much to know ol tumblr likes me 🥹

Second i wanted to update my ol tumblr cos it’s been a min since I’ve been properly on! Sadly back in October, I, along with several amazing artists in the games industry, was let go from my 12 year jorb at HiRez Studios. It’s been rough in this industry so I’ve been enjoying my time freelancing and drawing stuff for myself! That being said, I did open up a Patreon to help me maintain the fun while I search for a new job! If you’d like to check it out please feel free and know I appreciate any support whether it’s just following for free, nodding while reading this, or joining my subs! Concerning the stickers 😏, I’ll sell these eventually, but currently I send out these babies every month to my top tier subs on the Patrony soooo consider joining for freebies! OK that’s my shpeal, I legit don’t know how to market myself so if you’ve made it to the bottom of this novel, you get this virtual make out sesh (respectfully) omg good tongue use 🫡😍😘

[izunias-meme-hole]

You've been rebloging a decent amount of Soulsborne stuff, so if you have time, can you say who your favorite character's are in all these games?

Oh... well a fair amount of my thoughts CERTAINLY changed, but I'll give you a top 10.

Number 1. Messmer The Impaler (Elden Ring) - Messmer was certainly a welcome surprise. He was the firstborn son of Queen Marika, ultimately the one who personally oversaw the genocide of the hornsent in the Land of Shadow, and event so horrific and cruel that its impact could still be felt within the present day. He was afflicted with a curse at his birth, in which a dark and malevolent snake threatened to eat him from the inside, which resulted in Marika plucking out his eye and replacing it with a seal of grace. Sounds like quite the monster, right? Well here's the thing. Messmer's a surprisingly good boss, like he literally preserved his enemies culture inside a storeroom just because one of his knights requested it, and has at least some level of compassion. Sure some of his men defected after finding out about the true nature of his existence, but there were some that even stuck around because they know who he is as a person. So why did this great guy commit literal one of the most horrific events in history? Well you see, Marika basically told him to eliminate the hornsent, and it wasn't just a standard order... it was a secret banishment for him, and Marika's vengeance on the hornsent. That's right, Messmer was exiled so he could be a scapegoat for his mother in the Land of Shadow. While this doesn't absolve him of his crimes, it ultimately makes him extremely pitiable.

Number 2. Queen Marika & Radagon (Elden Ring) - A god, a vessel, a warmonger, a mother, a schemer, a monster, and a pitiful woman. These are all the things that Queen Marika The Eternal was, and by god she deserves to be remembered by all of them. Radagon is her other half. The Demigods were her children. Messmer is her son. The Lands Between were her lands. She destroyed several races. She destroyed the Elden ring. Everything in the game is connected to her in some capacity. This is some Sauron tier shit that's been done with someone who's now just a prisoner in her own fortress thanks to her fear of her reigns inevitable end. Elden Ring has a TON of antagonists, each one active in their own right across the Lands Between. Marika on the other hand is both a prisoner in her own home, and a god on her last knees who faces The Tarnished through Radagon, yet almost every last evil committed in the game is connected to her past history of cruelty and malevolence in service to her Golden Order.

Number 3. Malenia (Elden Ring) - Malenia was my fave for a good while, and is still one of my top 5 bosses in the series. Her background, how that background ties into the world, her difficulty not being too bullshit yet still giving veterans a good taste of the dirt, her simplistic yet effective character, and the concept of someone being that goddamn sickly yet still being so undeniably persistent, powerful, and near-invincible is intriguing and cool, and it's executed very well in her case. Her boss being optional is just icing on the cake. Overall she's a spectacle.

Number 4. Miquella (Elden Ring) - He's a charming lil guy. Yes he cut out everything that made himself a good person in order to become the god of a new era, and is an expert manipulator due to his powers, but he's still just a lil guy.

Number 5. Father Gascoigne (Bloodborne) - Originally, Laurence was my favorite Bloodborne character, but after some careful reconsideration... this guy is at the top. Why? I like how simplistic his lore is, but aside from that, he's basically a reflection of the Good Hunter and a really great first legit boss. He serves as a gatekeeper for new players, and his transformation from skilled hunter to a monstrous werewolf mid-fight is a perfect introduction to what fate usually awaits any hunter who inevitably gets blood drunk in Yharnam. And the cherry on top? He's just a guy. He was just a normal ass hunter with a wife and child before all of this, hell you could even use his daughter's music box to snap him out of his blood drunk state for a second. IMO Gascoigne is underrated as hell.

Number 6. Lady Maria (Bloodborne) - Between the Plain Doll being based off her, her connection to Gehrman, and being one of the hunters at the Fishing Hamlet, Maria is undeniably a great character with a vast presence.

Number 7. Ludwig (Bloodborne) - Tragic Hornse. In all seriousness though, Ludwig is a perfect summary of Bloodborne, and honestly one of the top 3 bosses in the entire series.

Number 8. Isshin Ashina (Sekiro) - Isshin's presence overshadows that of the main antagonist, Genechiro Ashina, and its entirely intentional. He basically is the symbol of his entire clan, leading a rebellion against the invading forces alongside many warriors and triumphing. Isshin was a living legend in the past, but in the present? He's old, sick, and on his last legs. He's still defending his clan, but for his strength, he's still mortal. He's still human. He's the perfect reflection of his clan. That and he’s an amazing final boss. Go Grandpa Ashina!

Number 9. Gwyn, Lord of Cinder (Dark Souls) - Horrible, HORRIBLE god. He ruined humanity, is a bad father, and is SO worthy of being hated... yet he's so pitiable and pathetic. Gwyn is responsible for almost every tragedy in the trilogy, yet even his own story is a tragedy. A paranoid god king making the literal worst decisions ever to the point where he literally destroys himself. There's a level of understandability with his character that makes him tragic, but ultimately, he's still a monster. And this isn't even bringing up the Soul of Cinder.

Number 10. Slave Knight Gael (Dark Souls) - An old slave knight from the age of fire, literal cannon fodder, not only outlives the gods, but goes on a quest to get the Dark Soul so that The Painter, his niece, would paint a new world. You get familiar with him in the Ashes of Ariandel DLC, and by the time of the Ringed City DLC you see that Gael has slipped into madness and stands atop literal desolation. At first he fights on all 3's, only using his sword as a weapon as he jumps and crawls around, but after his guts are cut open and he gets the power of the dark soul, he truly begins fighting like a man and will occasionally rely on the newfound power he has to strike the Ashen One down with magic. Still at the end of the day... this fight is just between two nobodies who outlived the gods.

[greenorangevioletgrass]

thinking of doming dilf!art into oblivion. like imagine the power of like early twenties reader making 30s something art puddy in her hands. YA'LL like??? i just want to motorboat his big ass titties like my life depends on it! why does he have such majestic boobies like? ill bite them don't tempt me fr

nonny, whoever you are out there, you are a mind reader bc this is top tier and i legit also just did this last night lolll

it’s like any other night snuggling in bed, lying in his arms. a kiss turns into two, and turns into a full blown makeout. art runs hot, so his shirt was already off when he first got into bed. so you’re just there, stroking his dick. his nipples are so pink and pert and pretty, and it’s staring you in the face. you playfully nip him there, and his back arches. the sigh-moan-whimper combo he makes is obscene.

oh.

it’s soft and sweet as you suckle on him hungrily, lazily playing with his cock, still snuggled up to him while he begs you, “baby please, i want your pussy please…”

[haysaca]

Argus and her recurrent toxic yuris

Finished 2.1, was a fun ride, I think I have a few thoughts in mind but rn the most prevalent one is: Damn, I did NOT expect argus and tuesday to be more toxic than valenweis. So have a compilation of my reactions I guess.

Sheesh girlie is actually just taunting her to the extreme and I didn't even include her whole jab at her candy reliance. This is legit the perfect pair for the hatesex trope.

Like for a moment, I even thought tuesday was implying she banged and stole kayla here lmao

(its canon, poor argus got ntr'd, source is me I swear I'm not just delusional)

She just insulted her outta nowhere lmao. Though a delusional mind (not me) can interpret this as tuesday wanting to break argus down to tears.

Girl was actually rendered speechless 😭😭 Sorry tuesday she does not match your freak at all!!

She cannot be tamed at all and she's so real for that ngl. I'm so glad they went all out on her lack of fear/fear is her kink because I just absolutely adore unapologetic villains and she's definitely one, or rather a pretty good psychopath since she doesn't really care much for people, only their fears (I think, I haven't seen her story yet). Anyways argus made the right decision to dip, she CANNOT handle her freak.

That's about it for this toxic pair but I wanna talk about kayla too since I feel like she ain't a much better option for argus considering yknow, her identity and affiliations 😭

I know this is just an illusion by the motel but it'd be so fucked up if their relationship was actually this toxic, like the motel digs up stuff from their memories so this insecurity or perception of kayla had to come somewhere from deep inside argus' mind.

What's worse is, she could be right, considering kayla is a top tier of manus fucking vindictae 😭. Poor girl has insecurities of being wielded like a mindless tool, tries to assure herself that the woman shes pining and looking for is not that, only for said woman to be avoiding her because shes already served her purpose for her (I think, we'll see in argus' story I guess).

Though it could be a more mutual angsty case if we interpret kayla's smile as a sign she considers argus as more than that, maybe a pet instead :P (have high doubts she actually reciprocates her feelings the same way).

Poor argus cannot escape scummy women, hope she'll find happiness in vertin's suitcase because let's be fr she's joining us.

Also I absolutely love this particular quote because it's not just a jab at argus' trust issues but also an indirect one at her insecurity in her own image, her fear of hesitating, failing and being seen as incompetent (I think she has them? otherwise i don't really know what the townspeople in her hallucination are meant to signify).

Ok one last thought: I think argus' best shot for a happy yuri out of the entire 2.1 cast is legit with Ms. Karen Kimberly over here.

Because as hostile as their interactions are, their dynamic was pretty funny and nice compared to tuesday's harassment.

They radiate big bully x dumb bimbo energy, a pretty classic and tame rivalry dynamic. Kimberly's also the one with the least malicious/mean intentions towards argus, she doesn't want to harm or even use her, she just wants to eat!

So long as they take the time to talk it out and not point lethal weapons at each other, I'm sure they could get along in some way (looking at you argus, put that gun down and listen to your heart more, you big softie).

Alright that's about it for my ramble on argus and her misfortune with women, shoutout to @jeremy_exe on twitter for cooking up the only anjoargus art I've seen so far.

[artydonsgf]

Hey love💕 could u do an arthusband! fic??

hi sweets! i’m in the process of writing husband art but i didn’t wanna keep you waiting so i wrote out a headcanon list! i also included a small nsfw portion for my own delusional giggles, enjoy~

Art Donaldson as your Husband

- when yall start dating, it’s apparent that you’re his first real girlfriend

- he’s fooled around with people before but the eagerness of his kisses and how quickly your touch sends him over the edge makes it clear it was never serious

- you like it though, it’s cute how embarrassed he gets when you stare at him and call him handsome

- amazing bf, top tier communicator

- you discover early one that art does not play about you so he really tries his best to avoid any arguments that aren’t constructive

- extremely gooey and tells you that he wants to marry you in the future like a week into your relationship

- despite how good of a communicator he is, he also gets in his head very easily

- constantly worried that he’s somehow not enough for you and you’ll find someone better

- these worries die down pretty quickly but it sits in the back of his mind sometimes

- said i love you first and he said it after 6 months

- he later told you that he knew after a month but didn’t want to scare you away

- after a year of dating, he gives you a promise ring and swears that he’ll propose to you the moment you guys graduate

- two years in, you guys move in together

- six months later and true to his word, he gives you his grandmother’s ring while you’re both still in your caps and gowns

- the wedding happens quickly since neither of you wanted something big

- your wedding day is the best day of his life, something he tells you a million times throughout the day

- he cried like a baby when you walked down the aisle

- in all of your wedding photos, he’s looking at you like you are the center of the universe

- art settles into married life with ease

- in his mind, you guys have already been married since the moment you agreed to be his girlfriend

- sharing a last name with you is the best thing ever in his mind

- sometimes he’ll call you mrs donaldson just to hear you respond to it

- laughs into his hand when you respond but you already realized what he was doing forever ago

- a true romantic

- leaves flowers and other cute trinkets at your bedside table when he comes home from traveling for games

- he’ll be dead asleep beside you but you’ll always find a small bouquet, breakfast, and a souvenir from whatever town he passed through

- constantly thinks about you

- facetime warrior, he will call you at any time just to hear your voice

- if he’s lucky and you’re able to come with him to games, he spends any spare time curled up in your arms and ask you to just speak

- loves it when you run a hand through his hair, he’ll twist himself into an uncomfortable position if it means you’ll keep scratching his head

- the annoying guy who mentions his wife at any given moment

- “ah yes, my WIFE, also enjoys hiking”

- his idea of a date is dinner and cuddling the whole night

- seems to forget that he can kiss you whenever because he always asks if he can kiss you

- needs you like he needs air, bro is insane about you

- patrick knew about you before he even met you because art spoke about the beautiful girl with the kind eyes and sweet smile for a month before he actually asked you out

- bro was yearning like crazy

- his biggest issue is his jealousy

- starts plotting murder whenever a man speaks to you for too long

- or woman, he’s equal opportunity jealous

- ofc he doesn’t have to worry because you’re always quick to flash your ring and name drop him as your husband in convos

- he’s a very good husband who loves you an insane amount and makes sure to communicate that to you 24/7

NSFW

- legit will do anything you ask of him, so he’s very into experimenting

- your pleasure > his every time

- he enjoys oral but doesn’t really ask for it since he’d prefer to give

- submissive by nature and is happy to let you take charge

- only really dominant after a particularly tough day on the courts

- aftercare KING, he’ll get you cleaned up in two seconds flat so he can keep you in his arms for the rest of the night

- very needy in bed, he wants your constant attention

- total praise kink, he can hardly breathe when you tell him he’s doing a good job

- he had to learn how to control his pace because he used to come immediately

- despite his quickness at finishing, he has insane stamina and will keep you up the whole night

- it’s always you >>> any of his obligations

- more times than you can count, you’ve had to pry him off of you because he had important things to do the next day

- loves quickies

- likes it when you pull his hair

[minswriting]

AARON HOTCHNER NSFW ALPHABET

warnings: NSFW content, MDNI, dominant aaron, thigh kink, breeding kink,

A = After Care

aaron is so good at aftercare! he’ll check in on you emotionally to see how you’re doing before examining your body to see if you have any bruises forming. he’s sweet and kind, takes his time to really make you feel okay.

B = Body Part

aaron has two favorite body parts of himself. he loves his arms and holding you. but he also loves his voice. the assertiveness, the dominance that he accentuates with his words, he thrives off of it. on you, he loves your hair and your thighs. he loves to play with your hair or tug on it. but he also loves playing with your thighs. or fucking them.

C = Cum

when aaron cums, it’s legit erupting from his cock. and it has everything to do with the fact that he’s traveling most of the time and is stressed 24/7. he has a massive breeding kink too so when he’s fucking you for the first time in what feels like weeks, he’ll cum inside of you and literally fill you up to the brim.

D = Dirty Secret

aaron definitely has a daddy kink that he does not talk about at all because he’s too shy.

E = Experience

he’s only ever been with haley (they met in high school right?) but he had taken his time to know her body and to know female pleasure. so his experience is top tier. he KNOWS pleasure.

F = Favorite Position

i feel like hotch has a lot of favorite positions but he absolutely adores bending you over the desk while he takes you from behind, pulling your hair in the process. he also loves fucking you the same way in front of a mirror or in a very intimate sexual position.

G = Goofy

i don’t think aaron is goofy during sex unless you’re both really tired but need relief. when the two of you are so tired or even drunk, you’re giggling, laughing, crack a joke or two.

H = Hair

he’s either really well groomed or it’s wild down there. there is no in between. it truthfully just depends on his time and if he has time to make himself groomed.

I = Intimacy

sex with aaron is so intimate and it’s so intense. he’s the type to pound his cock inside of you so hard all while muttering praises into your ear about how beautiful you are and how well you’re taking him. all while he’s holding your hand.

J = Jack Off

aaron does not jerk off often. every once in a blue moon. however, he loves to do it when the two of you are on the phone and you’re just talking about your day. he definitely gets off to the sound of your voice and you’re more than okay with that.

K = Kink

honestly he has so many so here is a list lol

degradation, praise, sir kink, daddy kink, spanking, dom/sub dynamics, choking, hair pulling, and so many many more.

L = Location

i think he prefers to do it in the bedroom of all places but man does he LOVE fucking you in his office. whether it’s his office at work (which is rare because of how risky it is) or his office at his house. bending you over the desk and taking you is just top tier for him.

M = Motivation

you. always you. but also being super stressed is definitely a motivation.

N = No

he would never engage with blood play (unless you’re on your period. he will fuck you on your period) nor would he do anything to hurt you too bad. the most he will do is spank and choke you.

O = Oral

LOVES GIVING IT AND RECEIVING IT! he never asks for head simply because he gets off on your pleasure. but if you just drop to your knees, he’s never going to say no because it feels so good. he’s extremely good at giving it tho too. he is such a munch and will suck on your clit, lick your slit, etc.

P = Pace

his pace is usually hard, fast, and rough. he loves rough sex. but if he’s slow, his pace would be slow but hard, and it would be more romantic. pls i need his dick lol

Q = Quickie

he doesn’t prefer quickies. he prefers to take his time with you, making you cum at least three times in one session. however, he enjoys quickies occasionally, especially if it’s right before he has to go to work or it’s after he had come back.

R = Risk

he isn’t a HUGE risk taker but he would definitely dabble in office sex at least once or twice. but only when he’s sure no one else is in the bureau. other than that, he only fucks you at his house or your house.

S = Stamina

he usually only lasts for one long round but sometimes he can do two. it depends on how tired he is at that time.

T = Toys

i feel like he definitely has a flesh light. and when he fucks it, he imagines it’s your pussy. he is also perfectly okay with you having toys as well. especially because he can punish you with your dildo, not allowing you to have the real thing.

U = Unfair

hotch can be so unfair. he loves punishing you. especially if you’ve been particularly bratty. he will deny you orgasm, exclaiming that orgasms are only for good girls who listen when told what to do. he leaves overstimulation for when you’ve been really good for him.

V = Volume

i don’t think aaron makes a lot of noise. however, he definitely grunts and talks you through it. he’ll give praise or he’ll degrade you. regardless, he’s not a moaner. but he still talks!

W = Wild Card

you’d definitely have some sort of voice kink. and aaron would use this tone of voice that’s soft spoken but still authoritative while having sex that you can’t help but look in his eyes, captivated by his voice.

X = X-Ray

🥰🥰🥰 aaron’s cock is about seven inches but man he is GIRTHY!! his cock will stretch you out, filling you up in ways you’ve never felt before.

Y = Yearning

like many men, aaron is almost always down for sex. however, it’s not a priority to him. he prioritizes quality time over sex. however that in no way means you guys rarely have sex. he likes to have sex with you at least three times a week.

Z = ZZZ

personally, i think he’s very sleepy after sex. but he will always engage in aftercare before going to sleep.

[megalynnan]

Thoughts on Defuntland's History of Animatronics.

-starting a history of disney animatroics with Homer's The Illiad. *chefs kiss* Kevin Perjurer should never stop telling stories like this.

-the RUR play - fucking horrifying, where can I find it?

-French is a beautiful language

"Real skin....real skin"

-When talking about how the disney Grandpa Chung's face skin would deteriorate, I assumed he was going to go "maybe thats why they used real skin.

-"no." -Walt Disney

-the California adventure bit had me spit a laughed so suddenly, and paused the episode to appreciate it.

-at the start of part 3. There is a lot of stuff about God in here. Like. A. Lot. Giving me Frankenstein vibes. Kevin, kevy, Mr. Defunctland, where we going with this? Are we as humans poor fathers/gods to our creations? Have we created life to reject it and turn it monstrous? Are we the monsters of this story?

-a lot of math and engineering here Kev.

-Lincoln had sort of legit cheekbones. "Unique"

-another pause at How TF did Walter "i want to be a dictator of an automous city in florida" Disney get technology for warheads?????

-is...is Lincoln christ in this metaphor???

-disney was such a shitty boss.

-and that's when the protests started.

-a 6 foot 7 robot Lincoln.

-soooo disney wanted to get rid of people...and have robots work instead???? Because the robots can't form a union????? Cue the RUR play.

-ah historical perfectionist anti union disney.....wants to create robots......

-"because I can't stop" walt disney on why he developed the lincoln animatronic. Big yikes my bud. Big yikes.

-PART 4

-a 6 foot 7 robot lincoln. Who would violently spasm and break his set. "It could kill you" - marc davis

-lincoln's great grandson crying at the world's fair is making me feel things.

-how TF was bradbury friends with Disney?? To get ideas for dystopia?

-bringing up a lot of monsters right now kev. Think we are getting back to the frankenstien stuff.

-kevin babe. Are we skipping over ada Lovelace?

-"the difference engine...the computer would not just be the new way to program animatronics, it would be the key to unlocking the next phase of mechanical life. A living machine, that appeared not just to move like a human, but to sense like one, to respond like one, to think like one. There's something inside us and we let it out."

Fuckkkkk So. We are just holding a mirror up to the horrors of our creation? Thanks kevin. Absolute banger of a line. Thanks for the existential dread.

I need kevin to get like awards for this shit. Seriously the best and most insightful Documentaries.

This. The disney Chanel theme song. The fastpass one. Garfield. All fucking top tier. The Epcot one is so beautiful too.

It's almost like he started by talking about defunct rides, and is now talking about a defunct culture. But as the culture is going under. And in true Kevin Perjurer fashion, he's starting at the beginning of the story. The idolization of business and consumerism and innovation for consumptions sake. The rot of leadership and how to make poor facsimiles.

He's not talking about how society is crumbling now, he's talking about the first termite that started eating away at the foundation. And I love him for it. I guess it's time to watch the fastpass video for fun.

[yakumtsaki]

Dear readers, we've been through so much together and you know at this point it takes a lot for me to describe a situation as 'out of control'.. yet here we are. So Kea moves in and the following happens in the span of like 2 hours:

Barth beats up Felina.

Kea beats up Spice.

Barth beats up Cyan.

Felina beats up Barth. Like seriously, ENOUGH. I've decided that next generation when we're at the third cousin tier relation I'm just gonna let whoever wants to date a cousin do it because holy hell, breaking them up has been a disaster. Everyone is near aspiration failure, everyone has shit grades, we're BROKE, and to top it all off..

-HELLO AGAIN

Why. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING WE DON'T OWE ANY BILLS LIKE THIS IS LITERAL THEFT. I also love how everyone is already so miserable so the repoman just comes and takes all the fun objects we can't afford to replace, FML

Barth's aspiration meter is absolutely pathetic as a result of everyone viciously assaulting him and desperate times call for desperate measures..

-Well well.. If it isn't Glitched Butler #9.. How's it hanging? ;)

-Same as always, I'm here to not cook and to open the doors we no longer have thanks to Baby.

-You know what, I'm too depressed to seduce you so will you just sleep with me?

-As you well know my butler programming prohibits me from doing anything helpful!

FFS. It's ok Barth, I will fulfill your throw a party want, I don't see how anything could go wrong with the situation in this house being what it is!

-Hey there! Join our party! Sleep with me! I COMMAND YOU

Barth please get it together.

-I CAN'T FUNCTION ROMANTICALLY BECAUSE I'M SO SAD BUT I REFUSE TO THROW ANY WANTS THAT DON'T INVOLVE ME SLEEPING WITH SOMEONE

OK DO YOU MAYBE SEE THE PROBLEM WITH THAT APPROACH

-NO

-Ugh, Spice is so hot when he's crying after I beat him up.

Ok Kea, I'm only gonna ask this once: are you fucking kidding me????

-What? It's only natural to be attracted to your girlfriend's ex who is her cousin and your enemy.

I'm just gonna pretend I didn't see this shit and move on.

So I have invited several of Barth's existing and potential lovers to this party and my goal is to figure out who, if anyone, I'm gonna marry him to. Now please enjoy this sequence of events:

a) Barth is flirting with my current top spouse pick, Stella Terrano, and it's going great!

b) Barth leaves Stella Terrano to go sleep with GODDAMN GUNNAR. Since I can't seem to shake this fucker off, the only option remaining is to give him a ridiculous fake accent to make him bearable.

-Oi luvs you, Barth!

-Why are you talking like a servant from Downton Abbey? Also who the hell caught me cheating now?

Who knows or cares? Let's continue:

c) Barth goes downstairs to beat up Cyan.

d) Klara aka my former top spouse pick attempts to leap into Barth's arms and HE LETS HER DROP

-Äääääh mein arsch!

-Sorry Klara but I refuse to get caught cheating by Gunnar..

-..unless it's with Stella Terrano!

LOL OMG, I really thought I'd have to marry him to fucking Gunnar due to THIS SHIT:

But God's mercy finally shines upon me!!!

Oh man I'm so upset by this >:)

-Ha culd youse do 'is, ya broke ma 'eart!!!

-What?

-Oh my, turtles are considered the sexiest animal in my planet👽

Stella ffs. Oh well, so sad, goodbye Gunnar, I was really hoping to add your freakish lack of chin into our gene pool but looks like I won't have the chance huhu!

e) Barth flirts with Stella again and is caught cheating AGAIN..

f) ..by Sarah Love who I keep forgetting exists but man that's a HARDCORE slap, she legit got her fingers in his eyeball(s)

-SORRY WHATSYOURNAME BUT I THINK BLINDING ME IS A BIT OF AN OVERREACTION

Yay! See Barth, our amazing party did the trick and now everything is gonna be ok!

-IM BLIND IM BLINDDDD I CAN'T SEE

Excuse me?! You know what Barth I'm done helping you, nothing is ever good enough for you!