#but never my upper arms
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Inflicting trauma upon my sweet OCs so I don't have to go through my problems alone-
#cw sh#cw self harm#(just a warning for my tag rambles to come)#my trauma response to my own history of self harm is that i find it VERY endearing in other people#if i can notice your scars i s2g you're instantly my bestie okay#one of my coworkers has the most extensive scars I've ever seen and i swear i feel safer with few people than i fo with her#she's the most incredible person ever amd though i would NEVER EVER ask about her past I'm so SO grateful she fought through it to be where#-she is right now#and just like ooooooh fuck i find scwrs cuuuuute#i genuinely think its a Trauma thing ig like to make my own body Not Disgusting To Me#that i see scars and go ☺️☺️☺️🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰#not in a fetishising way#but in a genuine 'holy shit! you went through sonething and survived it?? i love you!!!' kinda way#i only noticed my ex's piercing scar after we broke up tbh and i just KNOW if inoticed it while we were together it would have made me fera#i so vividly remember seeing people's scars ig#i remember standing next to someone in a queue for a metalcore gig and he had scars on his upper arms#no new cuts but old scars#and nearly 10 years later I'm still thinking about that#my cuts are my my thighs#at my worst my wrists and chest and stonach#but never my upper arms#and i carry the grief of that action with me#to be feeling SO MUCH that that's tye onlybplace that will do#was it strategic? was it impulsive? I'll never know#but i can inspire my ocs upon this trauma tuat i experience Alone at least#i know I'm not alone but rn no one gets why my left thigh hurts so bad-#and ifvi can hurt kayden like i hurt#like that guy standing next to ke hurt#like so mamy of my friends before me have hurt#leigha and chel and so many others
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This image really does it for me bc Sam is looking at Cas like a concerned friend and Dean is looking at Cas like that’s his princess
#I mean softly and with wonder#Sam is looping his arm through like a normal person while Dean is CLENCHING Cas’ coat#Sam is holding Cas’ upper arm with his free hand while Dean is gripping Cas’ wrist#the way they have Dean and Cas wearing the same colors too#with Sam as the outlier#they’re married your honor#dean#dean winchester#Castiel#Destiel#Deancas#spn#supernatural#my post haha#I never make my own usually but I felt a mighty need to talk
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scouring through twitter indirects to see if theres any worldless content i missed (very normal behavior i know /sarc /silly) and
honestly i straight up never noticed that damn-
that arm sure does become a whip
#adventures across the stars#worldless#worldless aven#somehow i thought the upper part of the scarf was just. his arm bending really weirdly#i never claimed to be intelligent-#i still see it as that honestly#i dont think its an issue with the silhouette my braincells are genuinely just overcooked
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I started a post about my ears hurting and itching all the time and deleted it like what is there to say lol it's just another thing that causes me 24 hour misery and wakes me up when I try to sleep and makes me sound completely insane when I say stuff like oh uh sorry I can't actually wear those headphones because they cause agonizing pain after a few minutes. yeah theyre the over ear headphones but the thin layer of speaker covering mesh barely touches the tip of my ear so you know.. the intolerable pain after a little bit. the most boring and offputting thing you could say to someone. yes I've been to a doctor no they didnt have any input. why would they
#i had a dozen ear infections as a toddler my earlier memories are screaming in pain in the doctor's office#and the pain started and never stopped#stomach ears legs upper arms head those are the worst areas#i just learned to ignore it for short periods but its always there#i think its probably just my fat and cartilage eating themselves and the actual diagnosis wouldnt matter#who cares
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Hey Mx. H, question:
What’s your favourite part of the human body to eat? I’m very curious :p
(Also OOC- you’re cool have this 🫴🏻🌹)
IT DEPENDS...
FOR ACTUAL FOOD, FOR MEANINGFUL NUTRITIONAL QUALITY... I FIND THE THIGHS, UPPER ARMS, OR ORGANS (ESPECIALLY THE LIVER OR LUNGS) TO BE BEST...
HOWEVER, I LIKE TO THINK OF MYSELF AS A ROMANTIC...
SO I READILY ADMIT THAT MY FAVORITE PART FOR A... PERSONAL DINING EXPERIENCE IS PROBABLY THE HEART.
IT CAN BE SO BEAUTIFULLY CARVED OUT TOO... WHERE YOU CAN KEEP THEM ALIVE LONG ENOUGH TO WATCH THEM REALIZE WHAT YOUR GOAL IS... YOU CAN FEEL THEIR PULSE SPEED UP AS YOU GET CLOSER TO REMOVING IT FROM ITS CAGE...
IT'S INTOXICATING.
[ REGARDS, HABIT ]
(( gwahhh- thank you for saying you think I'm cool!!!! :'DDD I'm really not, I'm just a goober. And thank you for the digital rose!!! *I left a rose. /ref* sorry btw if this ask is really triggering in any ways to anyone... cannibalism is bad but so fascinating to hear about. :']] I'm weird so I know a lot about it. ))
#HABIT speaks 🐇 ☠️#habit emh ask blog#habit rp blog#answered asks#ask response#( ooc > )#cw caps#cw cannibalism#cw gore#cw murder#cw blood#cw death#not me having to actually recall my knowledge of cannibalism-#i know too much aboht the calorie and nutritional value of various parts of the human body#i was a very abnormal and curious kid#i memorize a lot of facts and most of them would be considered “dark”#i hold onto the “dark” stuff the most...#i know too much stuff#for all legal reasons ALL PURPLE TEXT IS IN CHARACTER.#why do i know so much about cannibalism? simple. i had no safety restrictions and was overly curious#i could get answers to whatever weird dark little questions popped into my mind#and i memorized most of them.#so... yes. all of that is true. the liver is the most nutrious part of the body#the thighs shins and upper arms have the best caloric counts#lungs also have high caloric counts. i am unsure of nutritional value#also ooooh mx??? I've never been referrednto with mx!! i like it! but also use mr! i only don't use ms.#also... ah yes... my first cannibalism ask. 💜
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Thinking about Oscar at the moment, remembered he got his left arm chopped off by a desperate man he's totally devoted to and had the completely normal thought
Boy howdy I could go for some of that right now
#realistically i just need to get my tattoo removed but i know it'll never truly be gone its still in my brain#very funny of me to cover some of my self-harm scars with a tattoo lower on the arm#only to be plagued with self-harming thoughts by a tattoo on my upper arm#tw: self-harm#malevolent#malevolent podcast#oscar malevolent
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Now that I've finally managed to put on some weight I've realized that when I wear a sports bra instead of just looking completely flat chested it kinda looks like I have pecs and now I am absolutely determined to get buff enough to make that a reality. All these years of being confused about why my dysphoria as a nonbinary person made me simultaneously upset that my boobs were too small and that I had boobs at all and it turns out that all I wanted all along was to have honkin men's tits but we just hadn't invented the concept of fat daddy milkers yet. Tumblr memes are helping me unlock new layers of gender
#honestly my shoulders are broad enough that it already kinda works but my arms are WEAK. spongebob looking mf#im still working on my upper body strength. lower body has always been easy for me but its ridiculously hard for me to gain upper strength#one day i WILL have muscles tho. i will be able to do at least one (1) pull up. that is my end goal#and if i end up with some bazonkers male bazongas thats just a nice bonus#this realization occurred after i already realized that the reason i like and also dislike being called babygirl#is bc i actually want to be called babygirl in a man way. like the way tumblr users say it about their unhinged fictional men#im unlocking genders that would never before have been possible#rambling
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What if I don’t want to draw a background what if I want to draw yellow anime boy kissing purple anime boy in a completely blank background. As the lord intended.
#I don’t even know what to do with the background… hhhhhooouuuugh (agonized death rattle)#beautiful women named composition and values are beating me to death with hammers#if you see anatomy mistakes no you don’t. I have never made a mistake in my life.#why’d I pick this up again.#22 hours on one canvas… be so serious rn… in my defense uhhhhh uhhhhhhhhhh hhhuhhh. um. posing.#mine#my art#reblogs are off I’m fine with the final piece flopping but my greatest fear is a wip getting more traction than the final#it’s fine. I’m fine w it. I even like certain parts of it.#in my times of trouble the sunk cost fallacy comes to me singing words of wisdom: ‘finish this you asshole’#for future me: fix tsk arm shading + lighting on chest (upper left source)#+ shading back to rui’s hair
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Having a B3 overdose be like
#for the record im okay now#but an hour ago i thought i was dying of an allergic reaction#i felt like a vampire stepping out into the sun and catching fire#my whole face chest upper back elbows arms had red patches like hives#no itching no swelling no dizziness could still breathe and blood pressure was good#but i felt like i dived into a pool of lava#i seriously thought “oh shit this is spontaneous human combustion im gonna end up in a ripleys believe it or not special.”#“guess ill die!”#still monitoring symptoms in case i gotta hit the er tonight but I'm feeling better#ive been taking b3 for a long time and never had a response like this maybe my body is thinking fuck this shit we're done#i checked off everything ive drank and eaten today and listed my meds im confident its this shit#still gonna go to the docs tomorrow for a follow up#but if i can dodge a 10000+ ER charge to the medical debt i already carry imma do that#im too impoverished for the weewoo mobile guys#murica for ya#anyway if you take b3 watch your six on this shit#(i know i gotta take it seriously but seeing the humor and making fun of myself helps me cope)#magenta is my vent word
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This Is Russel- he is a Shambling-Mound taur- or Bushtaur if you will. I Homebrewed a lot about him- he was formed like most Shambling-Mounds, lightning struck a patch of land, bringing it sentience, however in the patch of land was a fresh body, giving the New Shambling Mound access to humanoid intelligence. And so the new being came to life. Obviously I named him Russel because he is a Russel in the bushes.
#my art#dnd art#dnd character#dnd#dnd oc#Shambling Mound#Bushtaur#centaur#oc#oc art#unfortunately I never got to play him other then one or two sessions but its alright cause hes a pain in the ass to draw#he doesn't use his upper arms very often - they are pretty weak
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aaaaa i wanna cut i ran outta room on my legs n unles i keep going down past my shorts line i cant ... and its getting warmer ..
#sh#sh ment#i would cut on my chest but im afraid my blade is too sharp and ill cut wayy too deep on accident#or on my sides bcuz those always turn out fun ans pretty but they never scar#cant do arms at all#maybe upper shoulder ...#im outta room on all the places i dont have a vein or artery 😒
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Really hate how obnoxiously sensitive my skin is. Any time I get so much as a mosquito bite my skin bubbles up into gnarly, welted, unbearably itchy blisters for days afterwards that turn into horrifying bloody craters if I let myself scratch.
#sensitive skin#bug bites#made the mistake of standing around outside in the evening for too long on sunday's date#and now I'm covered in really nasty bites#all over my shoulders and upper arms and thighs and even on my hands 😭#I've been icing the welts and putting tiger balm on them to just try to make the itching stop and the swelling go down#but it's not enough and even the ones that I've avoided scratching keep weeping#i hate my stupid skin#i blame getting lyme disease as a kid#it fucked up my skin so bad#i used to get the worst breakouts of hives#and I have something going on (maybe psoriasis?) where I have weird scaly dry patches that refuse to heal#but I've never had the money to treat any of it#and also assume that even if i went to doctor that they would find a way to blame it on my weight rather than actually do anything helpful
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mmm ouchy make head go so clearrrr :)))
#i've never tried on my upper arms/shoulders before but i think i like it :))#still got the vibes of arms a bit but less of the danger of people asking what's wrong sjdfklsdf#venthours speaks#sh cvt#$hblr#$elf h4rm#cvtt!ng#self h@rm#cw vent
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Aaaaaaaa tattoo???????????? Maybe??????
#I reached out to a tattoo artist last night and she got back to me this afternoon#and I’m !!!!!!!!!!#I’ve never gotten this far#I’ve just dreamt about it for years#and never actually taken the next step#and I haven’t like booked an appointment or anything#but I’ve contacted her and confirmed her books are open and she would be interested and on my basic description about what price range#holy shit#my whole chest tightens up and I like panic response any time I think about it#and my friend had to sit on the phone and encourage me to hit send on the email#and I don’t know if that’s a sign I should just not do it but also I’ve wanted one for so long but do I actually or just the idea of one????#but also!!!!! I’ve had so many fucking god damn needles in my life#it would be kinda nice to finally have some that I CHOOSE#anyway!!! maybe getting a tattoo this winter????#maybe????#I haven’t booked or anything yet but#I rlly like her art style and her books are open during the window I’m home#idk how to navigate this around my mom while I’m home but#I think I’ve almost settled on a black line cecropia moth on my upper inner left arm#anyway I’m freaking out and I can’t tell if the terror out ways the excitement or what I’m actually afraid of#I’m not gonna get it before thanksgiving for sure bc that’s too much attention for the once a year we’re all together#and if I wait until mid December then my sibling will be home to go with me too tho Ik my friend would go with me if he’s home too#but anyway anyway anyway anytime I think abt this for longer than a few seconds my brain shuts down and I can’t breathe so#first I gotta parse what that reaction means#Im a rambling sam
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animation wip!!! drawing my horrible little creature, tahlab! this is what happens when you get super cursed by your best friend. you get backwards knees.
also other progress gifs...
and a bonus when i exported it at a WAY too high fps
hopefully i'll still be able to finish this!
#my art#my oc#animation#body horror#i think???#probably body horror#you shouldve seen some of her other iterations though....#they make this look like CHILD'S PLAY#this has also taken me like 6 hours lol#ive never really done animation!!! so i'm learning a lot!#hopefully the upper arms dont take too much longer.... ough
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curious whether testosterone-dominant ppl genuinely don't get as hot in the summer, or if it's just that they get socialized to suck it up and suffer (which honestly seems likelier to me given that the whole College Boys in Shorts in Deep Winter phenomenon would seem 2 suggest cis men typically run warmer if anything? though of course that could equally be macho bravado. hard 2 isolate factors here!), whereas (western, secular, needs more modifiers probably) society is generally happy to have ppl it sees as women show more skin (as long as that skin is appropriately decorative by its standards)?
#post brought to you by the thing where every summer i'm like 'what if i made more conventionally-masc style choices 🤔'#and then am promptly like 'never mind‚ i categorically decline 2 encase the entirety of my thighs & upper arms in heat-trapping tubes'#'short shorts and tanks it is'#like as far as i can tell most straight men just. don't wear tank tops ever. t-shirts they sweat thru are the name of the game.#but i'm like. it's 80 degrees‚ i want armpit ventilation????#anyway yeah i DO want to have my cake and eat it too in this regard. however i also would like for cis men to have cake.#(in multiple senses of the word lmao)
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