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#and ifvi can hurt kayden like i hurt
kaydalixza
·
1 month
Text
Inflicting trauma upon my sweet OCs so I don't have to go through my problems alone-
#cw sh
#cw self harm
#(just a warning for my tag rambles to come)
#my trauma response to my own history of self harm is that i find it VERY endearing in other people
#if i can notice your scars i s2g you're instantly my bestie okay
#one of my coworkers has the most extensive scars I've ever seen and i swear i feel safer with few people than i fo with her
#she's the most incredible person ever amd though i would NEVER EVER ask about her past I'm so SO grateful she fought through it to be where
#-she is right now
#and just like ooooooh fuck i find scwrs cuuuuute
#i genuinely think its a Trauma thing ig like to make my own body Not Disgusting To Me
#that i see scars and go ☺️☺️☺️🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
#not in a fetishising way
#but in a genuine 'holy shit! you went through sonething and survived it?? i love you!!!' kinda way
#i only noticed my ex's piercing scar after we broke up tbh and i just KNOW if inoticed it while we were together it would have made me fera
#i so vividly remember seeing people's scars ig
#i remember standing next to someone in a queue for a metalcore gig and he had scars on his upper arms
#no new cuts but old scars
#and nearly 10 years later I'm still thinking about that
#my cuts are my my thighs
#at my worst my wrists and chest and stonach
#but never my upper arms
#and i carry the grief of that action with me
#to be feeling SO MUCH that that's tye onlybplace that will do
#was it strategic? was it impulsive? I'll never know
#but i can inspire my ocs upon this trauma tuat i experience Alone at least
#i know I'm not alone but rn no one gets why my left thigh hurts so bad-
#and ifvi can hurt kayden like i hurt
#like that guy standing next to ke hurt
#like so mamy of my friends before me have hurt
#leigha and chel and so many others
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