#but my cardio is still shit so i need to start running rather than just doing home workouts

[youreamonocoque]

Pretty pleased that Spa didn't ruin the GainsTM, in fact all the walking really helped lmao

[nnightskiess]

𝐫𝐞𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐝

₊° 𝐭𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐠𝐝𝐚𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞, 𝐬𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭. 𝐬𝐨 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 (𝐲/𝐧), 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐦 𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬. 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝. 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐠𝐢𝐜, 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐟𝐮𝐥...

𝐬𝐞𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐢𝐱

☾ ⋆*·ﾟ:⋆*·ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:·ﾟ .: ⋆*·ﾟ: .⋆

for my great friend lux @redhairedwolfwitch ♡ thank you for everything.

"Hey, you paged us?"

Cristina tilted her head, curious, while you stood behind her, wondering if you were in trouble if the Chief needed you.

"I know you're both most interested in cardio, so..." He motioned the two of you two follow him until your pager went off.

"Shit," You mumbled under your breath, staying slightly behind as you heard Cristina gush about the cardiac trauma Hunt showed her, "I gotta run, Robbins needs me, a complication in the NICU."

"Come on?! Cardiac trauma!" Cristina turned to you, the look on her face saying enough. But you had already started to walk away, putting a spanner in the works of the plan the universe had in store for you.

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"Doctor Bailey!" You rushed after her, wanting to catch up with her and show her the results of the CT she needed, until Cristina appeared out of nowhere, seeming frustrated.

"The new attending doesn't even know how to put in a temporary pacemaker!"

They came to a halt at the nurse's station as you hovered next to Cristina, waiting your turn.

You tilted your head, "Wait- we have a new attending?"

"Did you or did you not ask this man for a new cardio attending?"

"Yes."

"And did he or did he not bring in attending after attending, none of them who seem to please you and all of whom you ran off?" Bailey gave Cristina a look, one that made you have to bite your lip so you wouldn't laugh. Doctor Bailey had her cornered, and rightly so.

"That is not a fair assessment." Cristina bluntly replied.

"Doctor Yang, has it ever occurred to you that you might be the problem? Right, leave this man alone. Go torture the new attending. (Y/S/N), you got the results?"

You passed the results over, leaving as soon as Bailey waved you off, so you could go on your way to pester Cristina.

"So... why is the new cardio attending not to your liking this time?" Cristina rolled her eyes and groaned as she heard the teasing in your voice. You followed her, ignoring the annoyed look on her face, "Let me guess... weird hairdo that keeps distracting you? Bad breath? Silly walk? Or are they just not at your level?" You air quoted, making Cristina stop to stare at you before she continued her walk, but you knew she would talk after that.

"She might have been it once, but oh no, not anymore. She made me put in a temporary transvenous pacemaker because she hadn't done it in ages."

You grimace, having to admit how bad it sounded that a cardio attending didn't know how to., "At least she admitted it?"

Your comment went completely over Cristina's head, who was still fed up with the situation, "She's inexperienced, inadequate and is definitely not a cardio goddess. She's a desert storm barbie, who hasn't seen the inside of an OR in like 10 years. Owen was wrong to bring her here."

"Well... you've used up your three wishes and Webber and Bailey are done with your complaints... so I think you're gonna be stuck with her."

Cristina let her head fall back and let out the biggest groan before turning into another hallway, leaving you to shake your head as you walked to the lifts.

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"So, what do you think of the new cardio attending? Excited to learn from her?" Arizona draped her stethoscope around her neck, following you out of the room.

"I can't say, haven't met her yet... but Cristina seems to be really happy with her."

Arizona raised an eyebrow before she saw the look on your face.

"Oh, yeah, I heard. Wait-" Arizona looked at her pager, "Hm... speaking of the devil, Yang paged me. Walk with me?" She squeezed your arm, hoping you'd follow her.

You briefly caught up with your friend as you walked through the hospital. Jackson and Cristina were standing around a hospital bed, but before the two of you could approach, Arizona's pager went off once more,

"Hm... can you inform the parents of one of our preemie babies of his vitals? They're going home and would like to hear everything's still alright before they leave. Check his vitals with them in the room or they're not going to want to leave. They're persistent, but they're good parents. " Arizona gave you a soft smile as you nodded and grinned, doing as she told, not seeing the other blonde approaching Arizona behind you as you walked away.

☾ ⋆*·ﾟ:⋆*·ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:·ﾟ .: ⋆*·ﾟ: .⋆

You were leaning against the wall, waiting for Arizona to finish up since she was your ride home, when a happy Cristina all but skidded out of the resident's lounge.

"You're being weird. What's gotten you so happy?" You noted as Cristina's frown from that morning had turned into a wide grin.

"Guess who did a Takeuchi repair today?"

"You did not!?" You gasped and stood up straight, your full attention now on Cristina.

"Uh, not all by myself. But she did let me do the coronary artery anastomosis."

You raised your eyebrows, still surprised. Cristina was a great resident, but that was a big shot surgery, even for her. "Damn, are you taking back your words about her now?"

"Yeah, probably. Which means-" She turned serious again, pointing a finger at you, "The games have begun." She let out another ecstatic laugh before walking off, letting you know you would have to step up and fight to get hours on cardio with the new attending.

☾ ⋆*·ﾟ:⋆*·ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:·ﾟ .: ⋆*·ﾟ: .⋆

You walked into the lifts the next morning, the coffee Arizona had gotten you in one hand, the charts of the nightshift in the other. You only had five minutes to read them all and then inform your attending of the day of any changes. But with the coffee in your system, you knew you could do this.

You skimmed the first few pages of one of the charts as other people hurried into the lift right as the doors closed. A few floors later, you knew it was your turn to step out when the doors opened. Not wanting to waste any time, you kept your head low to read the charts, but you had to look up and stop when someone crossed your path- quite literally.

A woman hurried by, apologising to people left and right as she rushed through them. Though she had been fast, you had not failed to catch a glimpse of the face that you once so adored.

Teddy Altman.

She hadn't seen you, probably because your nose had been buried in the charts, or because she had been in a rush. You watched her disappear through the double doors towards the OR's and that's when it clicked. Teddy, your old friend from back in New York, the same Teddy that was in love with cardio, was the new cardio attending Cristina suddenly seemed to be gushing about.

You ditched your coffee somewhere, your body suddenly being filled with nerves and stress. It had been years seen you'd seen her. Ever since your mutual friend Allison had passed away on that damned day, you had lost contact with Teddy. Almost as if she had disappeared. Just like that. No note, no phone call, no goodbye. Maybe it had been for the best. The abrupt ending to your friendship had helped you get rid of the wish that it would ever become something more. Teddy was gone, and so were the feelings you had secretly been harbouring inside. But seeing her now... It overwhelmed you how only a glimpse of her could bring back the crapload of memories the two of you had shared. You slipped into one of the vacant seats in the waiting room, clutching the charts against your chest.

"No sitting, (Y/S/N), you've only just started your day. Let's go! We've got jobs to do. Chop-chop!" Bailey walked by, gesturing for you to get up and go.

You stood up, took the deepest breath and made a promise to yourself-

It's been years. You changed. You were no longer the EMT Teddy used to know. You took great pride in the fact you had grown, as a person and as a doctor. You were a resident now. Besides, for all you knew, Teddy didn't want anything to do with you anymore. She must have changed too. Besides, who knows what happened to her after you lost each other.

Teddy might be back, but your feelings were long gone.

☾ ⋆*·ﾟ:⋆*·ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:·ﾟ .: ⋆*·ﾟ: .⋆

You walked into the cafeteria, talking with some of the Mercy West residents as you grabbed your lunch, placing it on the tray in front of you. You rolled your eyes as they started to gossip, happy you had your food so you could walk away from that. Shaking your head, you turned around to scan the cafeteria, your eyes landing on Arizona's, who waved you over. You froze in your spot as you saw the back of Teddy's head, who was seated at the same table. Without thinking, you turned around and left the cafeteria in a hurry, the tray still in your hands. You hoped you had been fast enough before Teddy could have seen who Arizona had waved to.

Facing Teddy was not on your to-do list any time soon.

☾ ⋆*·ﾟ:⋆*·ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:·ﾟ .: ⋆*·ﾟ: .⋆

You had successfully managed to avoid running into your old friend all day, rather doing scut or helping out in the clinic than scrubbing in or helping with consults. Anything to stay out of Teddy's way.

"So, will you tell me why you ran like a chicken earlier today?" Arizona wore a playful smile as she from the doorway how you were grabbing your things.

"Um-" You shuffled some things around in your locker, trying to stall coming up with an answer. Arizona was one of your best friends and already knew whatever you would say would be a complete lie, "Stomach ache. Needed a toilet."

Arizona nodded her head, her playful grin not disappearing, "Yeah... I usually like my lunch with some nice sound effects and extra stench too."

"Wha-," You stopped to turn around, "I did not eat my lunch in a toilet."

Arizona shrugged noncommittally, going to the next topic, "Had fun removing haemorrhoids at the clinic today?"

You sighed defeatedly and pushed your jacket in your bag, glaring at Arizona, who was having way too much fun with this.

"Fine. I ate lunch in a toilet cubicle and helped out at the clinic today. What's wrong with that? They need all the help they can get."

"Meanwhile you could've scrubbed in with Doctor Altman and I. She let Yang fix the kid's Alcapa. Could've been you." She shrugged.

She patted your back as you passed her out of the lounge, letting out a groan at the missed opportunity. You clung your bag over your shoulder, greeting colleagues left and right, trying to play it off, but knowing Arizona was following close behind.

"Nice try," Arizona whispered in your ear as you waited for the lifts to arrive.

You sighed and turned around, about to shoot back a witty reply to wash the grin away from your friend's face, until you saw Teddy round the corner into the hallway, coming your way while she talked to an intern. The lifts dinged behind you, but you quickly pulled Arizona away, pushing her into the door that led to the staircases.

"Okay- wait, what just happened?" Arizona let out a breathy chuckle, her eyebrows raised as she tried to decipher what was going on in your head.

"We're taking the stairs down today! Let's go, I haven't reached my 10k steps yet!" You were already walking down, leaving Arizona to look back, thinking she might have missed something, until she eventually followed.

"Okay, tell me what's going on because you've been incredibly weird, all day long." Arizona stopped you when you were about to walk out of the hospital. You looked her in the eyes, seeing the genuine concern.

"Doctor Robbins!" You shut your eyes at the familiar voice and quickly turned around, slipping into the gift store unnoticed, still in hearing distance,

"I wanted to give you this for the follow-up surgery but you left so quickly." Teddy smiled softly, watching how Arizona looked around, noticing you had dipped, "Just read through it at home and we can discuss tomorrow."

"Oh, yeah! Sure! Thanks." Arizona's eyes fell on the back of your head as you tried to distract yourself by looking at the many different postcards of Seattle.

Teddy furrowed her eyebrows slightly, "Um... okay, well, we'll talk tomorrow."

"Sure thing!"

You waited until Teddy had disappeared into the lift again before stepping out from behind the rack, Arizona immediately pulling you out of the gift shop, her mouth agape as she watched with excitement, "You are crushing on Doctor Altman!"

"What? No!"

"What else can it be? That's why you've been avoiding every place she's at like the plague. I knew you would like her, but I didn't know you would like her this much." She raised her eyebrows suggestively, the grin on her face only widening as you sighed and walked out of the hospital.

"I'm not crushing on her. I haven't even met her yet. I'm just... shy... to meet new people. I need more time."

Arizona snorted as she followed you to her car, "Yeah, sure, that's it." But she grew serious when she saw the conflict in your eyes, "You know you can tell me, right? Anything. I don't judge."

You turned in your seat, it was clear you were battling thoughts in your head. You let yourself fall back against the seat as you sighed,

"I don't want Teddy to see me. Not yet, at least."

Arizona rose an eyebrow, silently telling you she needed more information if you wanted her to understand.

"We knew each other. Back in New York."

Arizona nodded slowly, knowing about your life as an EMT in the Big Apple, "Did you fall out? Did you fight? What happened?"

"That's the thing- I don't know. One day we were friends, the next... she was gone? This is the first time I've seen her since 2001 and... I don't know, it threw me off. I don't know what to do or say now."

"She hasn't seen you yet?"

You shrugged, "No, I don't think so. Not that I know."

"Well, were you great friends before she left?"

"You could say that. I just-" You stopped yourself, sneaking a glance at Arizona, who looked back at you with an encouraging smile, "Oh God- okay... I just always feared I might have scared her away?"

Arizona pursed her lips before hearing what you rambled out next, "I had like, the biggest crush on her and for a while, I thought she had one on me too until I realised she was like that with our mutual friend Allison too and-"

"Doctor Altman likes girls?!" Arizona gasped, intrigue written on her face. You quickly shut her down, not wanting to start the spread of another rumour in the hospital,

"No?! I don't know! I don't think so. No."

You sat in silence for a while until Arizona opened her mouth, "Well, I think it would be best if you just rip the band-aid off tomorrow. I don't think she'd appreciate finding out you avoided her for as long as you could. It's probably going to be awkward either way."

You nodded softly, knowing Arizona was right, "Will you help me?"

"Pfff, of course! I got your back." She smiled at you as she drove out of the car park.

☾ ⋆*·ﾟ:⋆*·ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:·ﾟ .: ⋆*·ﾟ: .⋆

You kept yourself busy by alternating between buttoning and unbuttoning your lab coat and fixing your hair, wanting to look presentable since Teddy hadn't seen you in years. It was silly, how you hadn't been able to let go of the nervous habits you had whenever you'd be around her. But the worry Teddy would be disappointed to see you again made it worse this time.

"Stop that, you look great." Arizona smiled encouragingly and fixed your collar as you started to play with your fingers instead, needing something to try and keep your nerves under control.

"Ready?" She asked you as she stopped in front of the room Teddy had paged her to. You gave her a curt nod and took in a breath as she opened the door, revealing Teddy who was looking at the whiteboard in front of her.

"Doctor Altman, I brought a resident who's gonna help me with this case. Hope you don't mind."

"Not at all! I went ahead and-" She stopped midsentence when she turned around, her eyes locking with yours. Sure, you had changed over the years, but you knew Teddy would recognize you in an instant.

"(Y/N)?" She breathed out, her face going from confusion to shock to excitement in just a few seconds.

"Oh my God, it's really you?" She walked up to you, her arms open to welcome you in a hug. Teddy let out an awkward chuckle as she noticed you didn't move a muscle, but she slowly and unsurely wrapped her arms around you when you took a hesitant step forward.

"It's so good to see you again! How- I- What?!" She smiled and rubbed her cheeks, trying to wrap her head around the fact you were standing in front of her, and trying to stop herself from panicking. "You left New York? When? You're a resident now!?"

"It's been years, a lot can happen." You squeezed your fingers behind your back, realising how harsh it sounded, no matter how much she deserved the cold shoulder. You just wanted to get this over with.

Teddy's smile faltered, but only momentarily, before her eyes filled with glee again, "So- what's happening? What's new? How did you get here? Are you.... third year? Or-"

"I love this little reunion but maybe it's best we focus on the surgery now...We've got little time." Arizona butted in with an apologetic smile, seeing you needed a breather.

"Yes! Of course, apologies." Teddy turned back to you, her face unreadable, but her gut wrenched with the guilt she suddenly felt. Your eyes said it all.

"We...um, should catch up later." She spoke before she quickly turned to face the whiteboard again, muttering something under her breath, hoping to be able to mask her panic in the next few hours of you two working together.

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"Go!" Arizona mumbled out, bumping your hip when you stopped, seeing she was gesturing to Teddy waiting in line. "Go break the ice!"

"I thought I already did that this morning?!" You whisper-yelled back but was pushed forward by your friend.

"Oh- hi!" You shot her a wry smile, albeit awkwardly, as Teddy turned around. "Want to...um... eat lunch outside with me? Catch up? It snowed last night and uh, I know you used to love-"

But you stopped as you saw Teddy nod and smile, "I'd like that."

"So, Seattle, huh?" Teddy started once you had found a vacant bench outside the hospital. "I thought you said you could never see yourself leaving New York?"

"Yeah, well, I got the opportunity to do my residency here... I wanted to start fresh, and New York isn't what it's been after-" You stopped, noticing how Teddy tensed. She took her time eating her sandwich, stalling an answer before she eventually had to speak.

"It's good to see you ended up where you wanted to be. Seems like all those times I helped you study for med school weren't in vain." She smiled with her eyes as she took another quick bite of her lunch. She tried so hard to read your energy, but you seemed closed off.

"Don't get me wrong, I loved being an EMT, but this is good. This is great. I'm happy now. This is the right path for me."

Teddy gave you a soft smile as she truly took you in for the first time, daring to stare at your side profile now that you were focused on your own lunch. You wore your hair differently now, your face looked a bit more mature and you also seemed more reserved, but maybe that just had to do with the awkward tension still floating between you two. Your eyes though, still gave her the same comfort, even if she had lost the ability to read them, apparently.

"What's it going to be? You got your eyes set on a specialty already?"

You nodded while taking a sip of your drink, "Cardio or peds... though I sometimes like to dabble in neuro."

Teddy let out a breathy chuckle, "Ha! Knew it! I recognized the light in your eyes every time I helped you study cardio cases."

"Well, you made it fun. It was hard not to like it by the way you explained it. You seemed passionate about it so of course, I would try to feel the same way."

She nodded to herself, the corner of her lip curling up slightly before she changed the subject, "Where were you on Monday? Doctor Robbins and I did an alcapa surgery together, you would have loved that. Would have been the perfect match for you."

"Oh, um, I don't know, I think I was helping in the pit all day? It was a busy day." Deciding to change the subject once more, you opened your mouth again, "Where did you end up? You left but never said anything, I was worried for weeks until I eventually had to let it go."

Teddy stopped and put her lunch down, "I joined the army..." she watched closely as you raised your eyebrows in surprise, "Almost immediately after... That's were I met Hunt and that's how I got here."

You nodded softly, trying to put it all into place in your head. She obviously gave you the short explanation, as she had left out years of details. But you figured she did so for a reason, and you respected her decision.

"Wasn't I worth a goodbye though?" You chuckled dryly, half joking, half serious.

"God- no, I mean yes! Of course! You deserved an explanation, that's on me, I just... had to go. I couldn't breathe. I hadn't been in a right state of mind for a while, especially after my parents passed away... and then Allison..."

You put your hand on her leg, "Teddy, it's alright, you don't have to explain further. Sorry... I just- All I actually needed to know was if you were still alive. I was dying inside not knowing if you were alright-" You bit the insides of your cheek as Teddy's hand was placed over yours. She sighed and looked out in front of her, her fingers tangling with yours as she squeezed your hand.

"I am so sorry. You deserved a proper farewell."

You nodded, agreeing, but decided to stay silent, sensing that Teddy already knew how bad she had messed up.

"So um, are you staying here? This is not a temporary thing?"

She squeezed your hand again, just to reassure you, even if she felt tortured by all the lost memories and feelings resurfacing,

"Yeah, I plan on staying." She cleared her throat, "Which is why I'm glad we worked this out right now? I mean, we're good, right?"

Thoughts circled through your head while you felt your chest tighten. Having to be around Teddy again would be a challenge, especially seeing how you left things. But you could manage. You were a surgical resident, for heaven's sake, and you were not going to let an old friend from the past ruin anything.

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[joshslater]

Cross Contamination

Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon.

I'm fucking furious. To most people Jack Wilson is a hockey hotshot, but to me he is just my wife's ex that can't let go. She said they had another encounter, but wouldn't go into details, saying it wasn't just his fault. She couldn't help herself, she said. Knowing how much she loathes him I suspect she was afraid of him turning violent. He is a star athlete after all, known to have punched more than a few players on the ice.

I know he's training at the stadium right now. That's how bad it has gotten, that I even know his schedule. I'm probably speeding getting there, but nothing else is important right now. I park the car in the huge, but almost empty parking. Neverending slabs of concrete to allow for the cars of thousands of cheering fans during game day. Well, I'm certainly not a fan. Still fuming as I exit the car and heading towards the arena I see him and a few others from his team running towards the same building from across the car park. They must be out for cardio or something. I stop and shout towards them "Hey! Jack!"

I can see them slow down a little, Jack saying something to them, and then breaking apart jogging in my direction while they continue at speed towards the stadium building. I remain still, just glaring at him as he closes in on me. He slows down quite a bit away and saunters towards me, still panting. He has an aura of smug superiority. He's good looking, despite his matted, sweaty hair and week-old beard. It's not just because he's in top shape, but he has that classic athlete chin cut, and mesmerizing eyes to go with it too. He's quite a bit shorter than me, and way denser and muscled, but I would bet my weekly martial arts practice can match him if needed. "Hey, cocksucker! You managed to find your way here," he yells back at me.

"I want you to know..." "Shut up"

I don't know why, but I can't look away from his intense eyes. It's like they can see into me, see every part of me. I'm frozen in place just watching him getting closer. "I said hey cocksucker. What are you waiting for? Go ahead and suck my cock." He says this as calmly as he can, never breaking eye contact. I don't think he blinks. I don't think I blink. I slowly go down on my knees,  grabbing the hem of his sweatpants, and pull down. I still keep eye contact, so I have to feel my way for the waistband of his underwear to pull it down too. I can feel the heat radiate from his steaming body. There's a smell of sweat, not the stale, musky kind, but from someone who showers every day and uses fresh clothes for each workout. He's professional and they got staff. I can hear his heavy breath as he is still recovering from the sprint. And I can feel a rather large cock in front of me that is erect, or at least a good way there. I grab it in my hands and guide the tip to my lips and begin to lick it. It doesn't really taste of much. I open my mouth and get more and more of his compression shirt wrapped abs and pecs in my view as I stare into his deep eyes, and take his big cock deeper and deeper into my mouth.

The tip reaches some point at the back of my mouth and I start to gag, making horrendous gurgling noises. I move back from him. "All the way. I want to be balls deep down your throat, cocksucker." I do as he commands, and push it in again, further. It's somehow much easier this time and my lips are tickled by his moist bush of pubes. I then start to work it, in and out, in and out. The noise I'm making is still horrendous. A wet, sloshy sound, and I hate it. "Yeah, you like that, cocksucker. Now, faster." I grab him by the hip and increase the pace. I get lost in the actions, like nothing matters but his cock, the noise, and his eyes.

I don't know for how long I was in a trance, but I feel him tensing up, pulling me tight to him, and shooting a big load of his cum down my throat. Suddenly the gaze that had held me like a vice breaks and he looks at my face rather than into my eyes. The spell is broken. I'm kneeling in a parking lot with Jack Wilson's cock down my throat, and my nose nuzzled into his pubes. His eyes suddenly widen, and his face turns into horror, like he is looking at a monster. Everything is going like in slow motion. I begin to push him away, to get his disgusting cock out of my mouth as he shoots his second load. Somehow in shock I manage to breathe in his cum. He pulls away from me as well, and his third load ends up just next to me on the concrete. "Fuck!" he says, visibly upset. "It's still in the bloodstream. Spit it out! Spit it out!"

I'm not sure I even have any in my mouth to spit out. It just went straight into my belly and into my lungs. Lungs that are desperately trying to cough up his spunky goo in phlegm-filled, deep whoops. "Fuck!" he shouts one last time, pulls up his sweatpants, and runs towards the Stadium building with one hand holding the pants up. I'm just folded over on my knees coughing and coughing while my mind is racing to make sense of what just happened. My chest is burning and I feel nauseated. There is the salty, bitter taste of cum in my mouth and a stench of athlete sweat as I gasp for air in between the coughs. I keep coughing, but less and less of substance is coming up. I spit out specks of Jack's spunk on the concrete in front of me, and realize what she had meant when she said she couldn't help herself. Did he fuck her? After what just happened I wouldn't put anything past Jack, and there is literally nothing I wouldn't forgive her for having done. She would have been helpless to stop.

I can feel my whole body burning as I get up from the concrete. I'm very aware how my clothes rubs against my body, like my senses have just gone into overdrive. Everything, every single muscle in my body feels sore. My head is spinning. Still coughing I stagger towards my car and get in behind the wheels. As I close the door the world goes silent. I can only hear my own exhausted panting. I'm confused about what is happening and feel sick as shit, but at least the world isn't spinning anymore. Somehow I must have been poisoned. What did he mean with "in the bloodstream?"

I start the car and carefully drive from the parking lot and out in the direction of home. Perhaps I shouldn't be driving at all. Crashing while driving is worse than crashing while sitting in a parking lot, but I really don't want to have to call anyone for help. Not after what I've just been through. I so sympathize with the movie cliché of a girl sobbing in the shower. I only want to cleanse myself in any way possible. To get rid of Jack from me. Even now I can feel the smell of athletic sweat, like it was clinging on to me.

There is a big pop accompanied by one of the chest buttons on my shirt shooting off in the car. The pop isn't so much heard as felt, as a reverberation in my body like someone just punched me in the chest, with dull spikes of pain in the joints. I swerve dangerously close to the side of the road. It feels like my shoulders pops into their sockets, like my chest just suddenly expands and the rest of my body catches up. There is no mirror I can look in, but I can clearly see something is off just by looking down at my body. What little movement I can make while driving the car feels different.

There is another big shift. Knees and hip joints this time, I think. I'm a little more prepared to handle that one without swerving, but this time I'm instead missing the brake pedal like the seat is set wrong. I scoot forward on the seat and reach the pedal. Now I'm getting real nervous what is happening. I'm almost home though, but I can feel my thigh muscles involuntarily flexing, my feet are hurting, and my stomach is gurgling like bad plumbing.

Her car is not home yet, thank God. I park mine as calmly as I can, screaming inside that I need to get inside and see what the fuck is going on. As I step out of the car I get a first inkling about the enormity of the changes. I almost trip stepping out of the car, and sit down again on the edge of the seat. The fabric on the trousers are straining, and I realize that my feet are probably hurting because they have swollen up inside the shoes. I try to kick off one of the sneakers, but it's stuck enough that I have to untie them. My movements feel off. It's not that it is hard to move. The opposite in fact, but different somehow. Me feet thanks me in relief as they are freed,

With the shoes off I awkwardly make my way into the house and step into the nearest bathroom. It's me in the mirror, of course, but me 5-10 years younger. I'm touching my face in disbelief. But this isn't just me regressed a decade in time. I was way taller than this then. Curious I unbutton the remaining buttons on my shirt and throw it on the floor. The chest and abs are not me 5-10 years ago. I've never looked this buff before. For one I've never had washboard abs, and the pecs and shoulders are wide and meaty. The arms more slender, though still muscular, and the core is built more for function than aesthetics. A bit too dense for the show off V shape. Dense, with a low center of gravity.

It's the body of a hockey player.

I rip off the straining trousers and the socks. Sure enough, massive leg muscles, big thighs, big ass, big feet. Jack the fucking cheater is a fraud in all areas. Whatever the fuck he is taking must have concentrated in his balls, shot into my lungs, and from there gone straight into my bloodstream to do whatever the fuck it's done to me. And there is nothing I can do to hurt him with it. Who would believe me? This is so far from any science I've heard of.

I take a closer look in the mirror again. Perhaps it isn't all bad after all.

[bamf-jaskier]

Accidental Witcher AU

Just gonna put this here so I can find it later if I ever start writing again...

...

alright so accidental Witcher Jaskier

which is objectively hilarious. No more angst, no glamour, no memory loss or curse NOPE all we have is an absolutely shitfaced Jaskier, a Geralt who left his bag at the inn and isn't coming back until the morning.

Jaskier starts mixing together Witcher potions, why wouldn't he? He's drunk, they are shiny, what isn't there to like?

So Jaskier mixes these potions and it left with a black liquid, dark like tar. And what does this man do? What does this renowned Bard do? HE DRINKS IT

and when Jaskier wakes up the next morning, he realizes oh FUCK he can say a lot more things than the night before, he can smell a lot more things too, damn he reeks.

He looks in the mirror and thank fuck his eyes are still blue somehow but when he looks directly into the light they dilate just a bit, all Cat-eyed. Well. Okay. Jaskier isn't stupid. Something bad happened last night and now he's a Witcher.

But here's the thing: making himself physiologically a Witcher doesn't mean he's a Witcher now. He doesn't know much about the path (besides what Geralt has told him) and he has NO IDEA how to use that huge ass pointy Witcher swords. And the LAST THING he wants is for people to expect him to run around wearing armor and fighting monsters. He would much rather prefer to follow a Witcher around and perform.

So what does Jaskier do? Pretends nothing happened.

Geralt comes back from his contract that day and there is...something different about Jaskier but he can't put his finger on it. Jaskier meanwhile is desperately trying to get used to all these new sense and after accidentally breaking a door handle finds out that Witchers are just a little bit stronger than the average person. He practices with his lute until he can control his strength (and music is such a good way to practice controlling his strength)

And Jaskier just continues traveling with Geralt pretending nothing has happened. Partially because he doesn't want Geralt to get it into his head that he ought to be "trained" (Jaskier will carry a sword the day he dies) and partially because he's embarrassed to admit he recreated the lost recipe to the trials shitfaced.

Of course, if Jaskier's songs begin to focus a little more on a Witcher's senses and are just a touch too realistic about a Witcher's sense of smell? Well Jaskier needs a coping mechanism somehow and the world STINKS now.

Now, Geralt is smart, but even he wouldn't suspect Jaskier of accidentally becoming a Witcher but he knows something is wrong. So what does he do? He starts testing Jaskier to see what's wrong.

At first Geralt thinks its a doppler but that is quickly proven wrong when Jaskier falls directly into a mud puddle and makes Geralt stop at a bathhouse to change and clean up.

He thinks Jaskier has a secret lover but then he see him sleep with someone in a tavern.

Maybe Jaskier is under a curse, but the medallion doesn't even hum.

Geralt even asks Yen to check if Jaskier is under a glamour or a spell and she tells him no.

Geralt has no idea what to do so he asks Yen to dig and find out.

Yen and Jaskier like to gossip and drink together so while Geralt goes off on a contract Yennefer and Jaskier get together to bitch and stitch a little.

Once more, drunk Jaskier starts talking about how he totally accidentally made himself a witcher and he has no idea what to do now. Yennefer of course, doesn't believe him. She thinks he just fucked up and took some potions with temporary side effects that will wear off eventually.

so OF COURSE Jaskier grabs Geralt's bag and begins making the Witcher potion once more. And he holds up this tar-potion, drunk as all hell and declares he is the maker of Witcher and the god of the skies. Then Yennefer steals the bottle, pushes a drunk Jaskier to the ground and chugs the potion.

She wakes up the next morning with a resounding FUCK as her purple eyes dilate in the light. Yennefer didn't even think mages could become Witchers? What the fuck was in that potion Jaskier made?

Jaskier and Yennefer both freak out. Now they are both in deep shit and Jaskier has definitely discovered how to make more Witchers but can only do it while drunk, sober attempts to recreate the potion have been met with no success.

Geralt returns and now BOTH Yennefer and Jaskier are acting weird and fuck what's wrong with them?

Geralt comes to the COMPLETELY wrong conclusion that Jaskier and Yennefer are sleeping together.

Cue Geralt trying to make weirdly supportive comments about Jaskier and Yennefer and the two of them acting super weird because, "does he know? what the hell is Geralt talking about now?"

Geralt: I would support the two of you no matter your life choices

Jaskier: wait does he know?

Yennefer: is he trying to invite us to go monster hunting with him?

Jaskier: Oh gods, please don't let it be that

For Yennefer, the transition from Mage to Witcher-Mage isn't all that different. She supposes she's a bit stronger now and her sense are enhanced but honestly she's really just shocked that drunk Jaskier managed to recreate the trials.

Witchers put on muscle a LOT faster than humans and are better at retaining it. What does this mean? Jaskier, who previously was tall but not exactly a brick shithouse like Geralt is suddenly getting muscle definition and OH NO he doesn't like that. His doublets are getting too tight and Jaskier basically desperately trying to not build muscle which goes against the biological instinct of Witchers.

Cue Jaskier cutting his protein and doing lots of cardio to stay smaller and more lithe. Jaskier refusing to pick things up or do any kind of arm exercises.

Jaskier: Geralt can I tie my lute to Roach's side, I can't carry it anymore

Geralt: why?

Jaskier: .... because

This is when Jaskier buys his horse Pegasus so he doesn't walk quite as much (he unfortunately finds out that horseback riding give you great thigh muscles)

Meanwhile Yennefer doesn't give a shit and she is building some truly fantastic arm muscles in the corner.

Geralt stops by Yen's place on the way to Kaer Morhen and she is....chopping wood a la Captain America with an ax. When Geralt watches Yennefer rip apart a log with her bare hands he literally swoons. Jaskier catches him.

Of course, Geralt STILL thinks Jaskier and Yennefer are sleeping together so he begins to make comments about Yennefer's new look and immediately apologizing because he doesn't want to overstep his bounds.

Geralt: Yen ur looking very powerful lately

looks at Jaskier and back to Yennefer

Geralt: not that u didn't always look powerful, and not that I care or think that's it's attractive or anything.

Jaskier: what...?

Yennefer: Are you saying I'm not attractive Geralt?

Geralt: no...I'm...fuck

Jaskier: hello fuck nice to meet you I'm Jaskier.

Okay but after a few months of Geralt making pointed comments about Yen and Jaskier they begin to think he is trying to matchmake them.

Jaskier: I think that Geralt wants us to bone

Yennefer: he does keep making comments about us alone together in the bedroom, I thought he was joking but-

Jaskier: he just left the room and told us to 'have fun'

Yennefer: I mean, should we?

Jaskier: yeah, sounds fun

okay but IMAGINE. Jaskier and Yennefer are sleeping together right? and they decide to spend a Winter at Kaer Morhen with Geralt who just acquired a new child surprise and they show up at the Wolf Keep and Vesemir (who knows these things) is like, "what schools are these Witchers from" and Geralt just...blanks

Geralt: these aren't Witchers?? One is a bard and the other is a mage??

Vesemir: No these are definitely Witchers

Geralt: ???

Jaskier: ...

Yennefer: ...

Jaskier: OKAY SO LONG STORY

TL;DR Drunk Jaskier mixes together a bunch of potions, him and Yennefer end up drinking them and becoming accidental Witchers, they hide it from Geralt and end up sleeping together due to Geralt misreading the situation

[wendimydarling]

The Thirst is Real

Summary: Little Freya might not be who she says she is...

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Little Freya 

Word Count: 1965

Warnings: uhhh.... slow burn; dirty thoughts; erotic thoughts; mentions of arousal, daddy kink, spanking, oral, masturbation, and thigh riding; size kink; slight manhandling; dom/sub kink if you squint.

A/N: So it’s been buzzing around The Cavillry that @littlefreya​ is either a mole in the community or Henry himself... @agniavateira​ (my beautiful goddess of a beta who also beta’d this fic for me) and I had a sensational conversation about what Freya and Henry’s weekly meet-ups would entail, and this beautiful birthday present was born! It’s also a little different that what I’ve done before, as I might have used some real life thirst examples in the fic. 

Did I call you out? I guess you’ll just have to read. 😈

You’ll get another gift on your actual birthday my love, but for now, please enjoy!!

~~~~~

Freya adjusted her curls in the mirror, adding one last dash of eyeliner. She was preparing for her weekly meeting with Henry, but this time her stomach was twisting itself in a spiral like a shirt ready to be dyed. 

When Henry first suggested the idea of her going on Tumblr to spy for him, she was hesitant at first. What if she couldn’t make friends? What if they didn’t trust her? But now, with a solid 6k followers under her belt, she knew she could say just about anything and people would flock to the thirst.

With a nervous look at her reflection, Freya gathered her things and headed out the door, sending a quick couple of texts to Henry.

I’m on my way. You should post on your IG stories… they’re wondering what you’re up to this morning. 

Perfect, thanks. I’ll send you what I’m about to upload.

A couple of seconds later Freya received his text, quickly setting up a post and waiting for Henry to update his Instagram. She smiled to herself; Tumblr would be buzzing in a matter of seconds once she posted, and what better way to show Henry what went on in the torrential world of social media than to show him live? Freya’s phone chimed again, indicating Henry had done as she’d suggested. 

She couldn’t help but grin like a demon as she hit the small blue button.

Pocketing her phone, Freya enjoyed the scenery on the short walk to Henry’s place. He was in London briefly as was she, so they were meeting at his home instead of Skyping like usual. Why she was so nervous, she didn’t know… Henry had been a friend for quite a few years now, even becoming one of her closest companions. He confided in her and she in him, and it was always a joy to see him. Every day she looked forward to their flirty banter. But that was easier when it was over the phone; doing so in person was an entirely different matter.

Freya reached Henry’s small home and knocked on the door. She’d only been there a couple of times, but the tiny house never ceased to give her a wonderful sense of charm and sensibility. A loud bark and clack of nails on the floor signaled that Kal was ready and waiting to greet her, which meant Henry wouldn’t be far behind. Freya fidgeted with her fingers and chewed on her lip in taut anticipation.

The door swung wide and there was Henry, sporting a puppy dog grin on his face and his large frame filling the entire entryway. His muscular chest was practically bursting from the snug grey shirt he wore, and his dark blue jeans couldn’t have looked more sinful. He had Kal by the collar as if the dog weighed nothing, and Freya couldn’t help but feel incredibly small. Henry reached out his hand, softly tugged her bottom lip from her teeth, then swooped her up for a one-armed squeeze.

“It’s so good to see you,” he murmured against her ear, sending chills down Freya’s spine. Her feet dangled helplessly as she wrapped her own arms around his neck, inhaling the sharp scent that had long since faded from the hoodie he’d let her “steal”. The fact that he was holding her petite stature in one arm and still controlling Kal with the other wasn’t lost to Freya, and the images it provoked in her mind of what exactly he could do to her with that kind of strength made her tingle. 

Oh, the positions he could put her in...

All too soon Henry set Freya down, shaking her from her sudden daydream. 

“Come on in,” he said, maneuvering Kal and ordering him to sit. Freya crossed the threshold, imagining what it would be like if she was in a long, white gown…

“I’m making a smoothie, would you like one?” Henry broke into her thoughts again and Freya flushed, hurriedly setting her bag on the table and pulling out her laptop. 

“Just some water please,” she replied, swallowing thickly as she realized how dry her throat was. She logged into Tumblr as Henry bustled about in the kitchen and quickly reblogged a few thirsty comments, scrolling through to find some good ones while she waited for Henry.

“Go ahead and start, tell me what ‘The Cavillry’ has been up to this week,” he stated, not quite a command but it thrilled Freya nonetheless. Stupid filthy gutter brain. She pulled out her notes and dove straight in.

“Well, a few of them like Lisa and Berry have a theory that there’s a mole in the community,” she laughed. “Some of them even like to surmise that I’m you!”

“Do they really?” Henry’s deep chuckle resonated throughout the living space and Freya closed her eyes momentarily, picturing that chuckle after a rather exhilarating round of cardio between soft, silken sheets…

“What else are they saying?” Henry’s voice was in Freya’s ear and she jumped, startled yet again from her indecorous thoughts. Henry set her water down next to the laptop and placed his hands on the table, caging her in his warmth as he leaned over her shoulder to read. Freya felt the familiar flush of arousal start to creep its way up her thighs but she did her best to ignore it, continuing on with her notes. 

“Marta made some really funny memes,” she stammered, “And Demi excels at clipping audios, where it sounds like…”

“How does it sound?” Henry’s hot breath ghosted over her ear, and his exhale came out nearly a growl. Freya felt lucky she was sitting down, positive her knees would have given out on her if she hadn���t been. 

“Like you just had a--an orgasm,” she faltered, grabbing her glass of water for a big gulp. Henry hummed, and Freya nearly choked on the clear liquid. 

“What else do they say? I want you to read it… out loud.”

Freya was shocked for a moment. What was he playing at? Wait a minute... this is a game; Henry is playing a game. Emboldened by her sudden epiphany, Freya switched personalities from timid bird to devilish vixen, determined to win whatever it was that Henry had set in motion. She arched her back and leaned her head against Henry’s shoulder, pointing at the screen.

“Well look, see what your post this morning has done? We descend into a thirsting frenzy every time.” 

She scrolled through a couple of posts, landing upon one that would give her what she needed.  

“For example, Miya writes: 

‘I guess good to know he’s on a morning run instead of fapping off… 

But good sir, you will have to shower after that no? And unless he’s a never nude, he’s going to be naked very very soon ladies. KEEP THAT IN MIND! IN A SHORT FEW MINUTES, HENRY WILL BE NAKED AND RUBBING HIMSELF IN THE SHOWER.’ ”

 Freya emphasized the last sentence and was rewarded with a small hitching of Henry’s breath. He recovered quickly.

“However did they know,” he quipped in a low rumble, reaching over Freya’s hand to do some scrolling of his own. Her hand was trapped in his but her thoughts were elsewhere, immediately flooded with the image of Henry getting off in the shower, water cascading over his hairy torso down the line of his abs and through the rabbit trail on his groin to the surely insurmountable…

“This one next,” he stated, drawing her back to the present. His thumb brushed softly over her skin before landing just out of reach of her touch. Freya focused her attention on the screen and a small groan escaped her lips. He’d chosen one of Wendi’s Smutbombs.

“...My eyes were instantly drawn back to his fierce gaze.

“You wanted to use that mouth,” he snarled, staring at me with lewd concentration.

“So use it.”

Freya’s palms grew clammy at the thought of using her mouth around Henry, in exactly the way the raucous words depicted. The way he would stretch her tiny lips until they burned, the way he’d fuck her throat without a care, the way he’d…

Henry grabbed Freya’s hand and abruptly slapped his phone on her palm, severing the thought. 

“Read this one,” Henry commanded her again, his voice now clear and authoritative. This time his tone left no room for argument; he was doing it on purpose. His arms still pinned her to the table with no way to escape, and she could feel the dominance that was dripping off of him tingling down her spine. 

Freya looked at the small screen, recognition of the words dawning on her face. She faltered, and cleared her throat.

“Yes, my bottom is always bare, Sherlock. Bare and ready for you to spank me and take me any which way you want.”

“Who wrote that?” he questioned sternly. Freya took a deep breath.

“I did.”

“Read the next one.”

Freya whimpered, clenching her thighs together tightly. 

“Fuck this shit I want to die on this man’s thighs.”

“Who wrote that?”

“I did.”

“Keep going.”

Freya’s chest was heaving. Her head was swimming with lust and need. Her arousal had long since wet her panties to the point of extreme discomfort. She was certain Henry could smell it too, as she certainly could and his head was still right next to hers. She watched his fists tighten on the table, the veins in his arms becoming more prominent with every passing second. Freya imagined what his hands would look like with one wrapped around her throat and the other buried knuckle deep inside her…

“I said keep going; you’ve got one more.”

It wasn’t just Henry’s voice this time that dragged Freya back to reality; he wrapped his hand firmly around her nape and pointed her toward his phone. 

She blinked rapidly and scrolled to the last quote. 

“...They share a mutual smile and she forces herself to look away.

They have always liked each other, he has always been kind to her.

Sometimes he would touch her as they sat with friends, a feverish stroke, innocent or by mistake, but that would be enough to make her heart flutter like a huge butterfly in the cage of her chest. 

To see him physically hurts sometimes. Especially on a night like this when she is supposed to be happy, yet her heart feels sorrowful.”

The moment her lips finished moving Freya was pulled off the bench and thrust against the wall. Henry pressed his thigh between her legs, his own arousal evident as it strained against the ridged fabric of his jeans. His face was gentle and sincere but his eyes were as dark with lust as she was certain hers were, and the tremor of his voice left no room to imagine anything but desire.

“Who wrote that?” he whispered softly.

“I did,” Freya whispered back.

“Did you mean it?” Henry searched her face, looking for any scrap of evidence that would present him with permission. Freya brought a hand up to his curls, brushing the one out of his eyes that always seemed to disobey.

“Every word.”

Henry slammed his mouth against Freya’s, probing her deep and hard. She kissed him back with just as much fervor, tugging on his curls and wrapping her legs around his waist as he hoisted her in the air. Never in her life had she ever thought this moment would happen, that he would want her this way. But now, here in his arms with his lips on hers and on their way to his bedroom, she couldn’t picture anything else. 

The man had ruined her for anyone else over a decade ago, and she’d been thirsty for far, far too long.

~~~~~

@wolvesandhoundshowltogether​ @killjoy-assbutt-1112​ @achaoticaugust​ @demivampirew​ @raspberrydreamclouds​ I hope you don’t mind that I used your thirst! I though it might be fun, but if you don’t like it just let me know, I’ll remove it. 😊

[bechloeislegit]

25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020

Day 25 - Secret Santa

A/N: I did my first batch of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases in 2017. This is one of my favorite stories from that series, so I thought I would use it as Day 25 since I've kind of lost my inspiration to work on Christmas fics. I hope you enjoy it.

Prompt from Electronis Zappa: "The Bellas do a secret Santa. Aubrey and Beca get each other's names. Aubrey uses it to set up Bechloe. You can do whatever you want for Beca's gift to Aubrey."

A/N: This is set the year after the Bellas won the ICCAs. Chloe is a senior again; Aubrey has graduated.

Now, on to the story. I hope you like it.

~~25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~

"Hey, Bellas!" Aubrey called out as she entered the Auditorium.

"Aubrey!" yelled the girls and ran to say hi.

"Yeah, okay," Beca said. "I guess we're taking a break."

"Oh, hush, Beca," Chloe said. "Everyone's just excited to see Brey. And, I asked her to come."

"Of course you did," Beca said dryly.

"Brey!" Chloe squealed and ran to hug her best friend. "I've missed you."

"I miss you, too," Aubrey said. "I've missed all you girls."

"Not that I don't love you crashing our Bellas practice," Beca said sarcastically. "But, what are you doing here, Aubrey?"

"I told you I asked her to come," Chloe told Beca.

"Okay," Beca said. "But, why?"

"Because it's time to draw names for the Secret Santa," Chloe said.

"Yeah!" the Bellas all screamed.

"Yay," Beca said with less enthusiasm.

Chloe brings out a box and shakes it around. She holds it just high enough that everyone can reach in and not see anything.

"Okay, everyone's name is in this box," Chloe said. "We'll all take a name and buy a 'secret' gift for that person. And remember, the gifts have to be between $10 and $25. We'll exchange our gifts at the Bellas Only Christmas party in three weeks. It will be held at the Bellas house. We can assign duties later."

"Hey, Aubrey," Stacie said. "You're the guest. You pick first."

Everyone agreed, and Aubrey reached into the box and drew out a name. She opened the slip of paper to look at the name and then stuck it in her pocket. Chloe went next and drew out a name. She also looked at it and slipped it into her pocket. Beca was next, and she muttered a 'Shit!' when she read the name. She quickly looked around to see if anyone heard her and put the paper in her pocket. Everyone else drew a name and started gathering their stuff.

"Hey!" Beca said. "We still have another 90 minutes for practice."

"Oh, Captain, my Captain," Amy said, putting her arm around Beca's shoulder. "We all know we'll practice for 10 minutes, and then you'll call it quits because none of us are really practicing because Aubrey is here. We're just pulling the trigger early."

"Fine," Beca said with a huff. "Take the weekend off while Aubrey's here. But be ready to work twice as hard on Monday."

The girls all stood around looking at Beca. She never gives them the entire weekend off, even when Aubrey is visiting.

"Leave now, losers," Beca said. "Or start doing some cardio. Your choice."

Everyone started hustling to get out of the Auditorium. Beca hung back and started cleaning up. She was surprised when Chloe and Aubrey started helping.

"I figured you two would be the first ones out the door," Beca said. "Doing some best friend shit or something."

"I guess it's a habit," Aubrey said. "We were always left to clean up after everyone. We just thought it would go faster if we helped."

"Thanks," Beca said sincerely. "I appreciate it."

"Aw, look at the two of you getting along," Chloe said, wiping a pretend tear from her eyes.

"Shut it, Beale," Beca said with a small smile, causing Aubrey to laugh.

The last chair was put away, and all the trash had been thrown out.

"Hey, Becs," Chloe said. "Brey and I are going to get something to eat. Wanna join us?"

"Yeah, Beca," Aubrey said. "Come with us. We're going to that diner I know you like."

"Thanks for the invite," Beca said. "But, I'm supposed to have dinner at my dad's. Since I now have some free time before that, I'm going to work on a playlist for our Christmas party."

"Oh, okay," Chloe said. "Maybe next time."

"Sure," Beca said. "I'll see you back at the house later."

"Bye, Beca," Aubrey said.

Beca gave them a wave and left.

"You've got it bad for her," Aubrey said to Chloe as they walked toward the diner. "And, she's still oblivious."

"Yeah, I do," Chloe said. "What am I going to do, Brey? I can't seem to get her to notice me as anything more than a friend."

"She's a little slow when it comes to some things," Aubrey said. "You just have to ask yourself how long you're willing to wait for her."

~~ Day 25 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~

Beca hurried back to the Bellas House. She felt bad lying to Chloe, but she had picked Aubrey for the Secret Santa, and she only had three weeks to find something to give her. She needed to start now if Aubrey was going to have anything to open.

"I could ask Chloe," Beca thought to herself after spending two hours online for ideas. "No. I need to figure this out for myself."

Beca sat at her desk and picked up the Bellas pitch pipe that Aubrey had passed on to her. She twirled it in her fingers and rocked to and fro in her chair. Suddenly, she got an idea and called her dad to let him know she wouldn't be able to make it to dinner. She then grabbed her laptop.

Later that evening, Chloe and Aubrey were hanging out with the other Bellas in the living room. They were trying to decide what movie to watch. Fat Amy and Jessica were making the popcorn and getting the drinks together.

"I'm going to see if Beca's coming down," Chloe said as she got up.

Chloe found Beca sitting at her desk with her laptop open. She was really focused on what she was doing, but she wasn't wearing her headphones. Chloe frowned. Beca usually only looks this focused when she's working on her mixes. She wondered what could have Beca's attention.

"Hey," Chloe said, just loud enough to not scare Beca.

"Oh, hey," Beca said, closing her laptop. "What's up?"

"We're going to watch a movie," Chloe said. "I was hoping you'd join us."

"Okay," Beca said. "Can you give me like five minutes? I just want to finish something."

"Sure," Chloe said. "See you down there."

"Okay," Beca said.

Meanwhile, down in the living room, another conversation is taking place.

"Okay, ladies," Aubrey said. "I need your help."

"You know we're here for you, Brey," Stacie said.

The other girls all agreed, and Aubrey asked someone to listen for Chloe. Ashley stood near the doorway and nodded to Aubrey to continue.

"I got Beca for Secret Santa," Aubrey said. "And, I want to get her and Chloe together. That's my gift to her."

"Yes, Bloe is on!" Amy yelled.

"Amy!" Aubrey said. "I don't want Beca or Chloe to know."

"Oops, sorry," Amy says and closes her mouth. She 'locks' her lips and drops the 'key' down her shirt.

"What's the plan?" CR asked.

"Honestly," Aubrey said. "I don't have one yet. That's where you girls come in. I need some ideas. Nothing too outrageous or outlandish, please. Just something that will make Beca declare her love for Chloe."

"What if we make Beca jealous?" Stacie said. "Set Chloe up with someone and make sure Beca sees them together."

"I don't know," Aubrey said. "I don't want to pull someone else into this. That will only cause problems."

"Hey, Chloe," Ashley said so the other Bellas could hear. "Is Beca coming down? I'm going to the kitchen and can grab her a drink while I'm there."

"Yeah, she'll be down in a few minutes," Chloe said. "She'll probably just want water. Thanks."

"No problem," Ashley said and went into the kitchen.

Chloe entered the living room to find the rest of the Bellas still talking about what movie to watch. Beca came down a few minutes later and sat on the floor. Ashley handed her a bottle of water.

"Thanks," Beca said.

"Hey, Becs," Chloe said. "Come sit here. I saved you a seat."

"That's okay," Beca said. "I know how you and Aubrey get. I'd rather take my chances down here."

"Oh. Okay," Chloe said, looking crestfallen.

Aubrey and the other girls shared a look. They all hated to see Chloe like this. Beca needed a wake-up call.

~~ Day 25 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~

The movie was over, and Beca bid everyone a good night and was up the stairs before anyone could say anything. Chloe let out a sigh and said she was going to bed.

"You coming, Brey?" Chloe asked as she stood up.

"I'm going to help clean up first," Aubrey said. "I'll be there in a few."

"Okay," Chloe said. "Good night, girls."

The girls all wished Chloe a good night as well, and she went upstairs. As soon as Aubrey heard Chloe's door close, she turned to the other girls.

"I have an idea on how to get those two together," Aubrey said.

Aubrey quickly told the girls her idea and said she needed to get up to Chloe's room before she came looking for her.

"You all know what to do, right?" Aubrey asked.

All the girls nodded and smiled.

"Good," Aubrey said. "I'll see you all in the morning. Operation get BeChloe together is a go."

"Bloe," Amy said.

"BeChloe," Stacie said.

Aubrey just shook her head and went upstairs. She opened Chloe's door to find Chloe lying on her bed staring at the ceiling.

"This had better work," Aubrey thought to herself as she got ready for bed.

~~ Day 25 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~

Two weeks later and the Bellas House was decorated for Christmas. Chloe and Stacie were putting the finishing touches on the tree when Beca came in.

"Looks nice," Beca said when she saw the tree.

"Wait until you see it all lit up," Chloe said with a big smile. "Tree lighting ceremony will be at 8:00 tonight. And I've declared it mandatory for all Bellas to be there."

"Got it," Beca said.

"Hey, Becs," Stacie said. "A package came for you today. I left it on your bed."

"Cool," Beca said and went running upstairs.

Beca ripped open the package and read the letter that came with it. She smiled and checked the box and put everything together, and wrapped it. She then put the wrapped gift in her desk drawer and locked it. She was so going to blow Aubrey away with this gift.

~~ Day 25 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~

It was the day of the Bellas Christmas Party, and every girl at some point had snuck their Secret Santa gift under the tree. Aubrey arrived earlier that afternoon and managed to get her gift for Beca under the tree without anyone seeing her. Chloe was overseeing the food preparations in the kitchen with Jessica, Ashley, and Flo. Fat Amy and CR were on a liquor run. Aubrey, Stacie, and Lily were on table-setting duty. The plan was to have a nice Christmas dinner before the actual party. Beca got out of much of the preparation because she had a shift at the radio station. The girls were listening to the campus station while they went about their tasks.

It was getting close to 6:00, and final touches were being done on dinner. Beca came running in at 5:45 and was on her way upstairs when Chloe called out to her.

"Hey, Beca," she heard Chloe call from the kitchen. "Dinner's on in 15 minutes, so don't get lost up there."

"Yes, ma'am," Beca said as she continued upstairs.

Beca dropped all her stuff in her room and hurried back downstairs. She was actually excited about dinner and the party.

"Anything I can do to help?" Beca asked Chloe as she walked into the kitchen.

"You can help take the food to the table," Chloe said, handing Beca a bowl of mashed potatoes.

"On it," Beca said.

Dinner was done, and everyone was sitting around the table chatting. Beca stood up and started gathering plates and silverware. Stacie and Jessica stood up to help.

"Why don't the rest of you go claim your seats in the living room?" Beca suggested. "We'll take care of the dishes and be in to join you."

"That's a great idea," Chloe said. "Let's go, girls."

The rest of the girls got up and headed for the living room.

"Thanks, Becs," Chloe said and kissed her on the cheek.

Beca, Stacie, and Jessica put away the leftovers and loaded the dishwasher. Beca started hand washing the pots and pans and anything that didn't make it to the dishwasher.

"What's gotten into you tonight?" Stacie asked Beca as she took a pot to dry.

"I'm just really excited about the Secret Santa," Beca said.

"Wow," Jessica said. "You won the title of Grinch last year, hands down. What's changed?"

"I don't know," Beca said. "I guess Chloe's rubbing off on me. She's always so positive and bubbly. It was bound to happen. I have such a good feeling that tonight is going to be epic."

Jessica and Stacie share a smile. This was going to be an interesting night.

Beca, Jessica, and Stacie joined the rest of the Bellas. Stacie sat next to Aubrey, Jessica sat next to Ashley, and Beca sat next to Chloe. CR, wearing a Santa hat, was sitting by the tree. She would be handing out the Secret Santa gifts.

"Okay," CR said. "I'm just going to grab the gifts at random. Whoever's gift it is will open it and guess who the giver is. After all the gifts are opened, we'll reveal who gave what to who. The first gift goes to Ashley."

Ashley opens her gift to find an assortment of bath soaps, lotions, and shower accessories.

"I love it," Ashley said. "I'm going to guess Jessica or maybe Chloe."

"Next, we have Fat Amy," CR said.

Fat Amy opens her gift to find a gift card to her favorite candy store with a small supply of her favorite candy as well.

"Aw, yeah," Amy says with a fist pump. "I'm guessing, hmmm, Beca. She always knows my favorite candy."

"Next is Stacie," CR said and handed Stacie her gift.

Stacie opened it to find a personal manicure set with nail polish, remover, nail files, and the like.

"Ooooh," Stacie said. "I love my cuticle care. Um, I'm going to guess, Aubrey."

"Next is me," CR said and started opening her present.

"It's the new Rihanna CD," CR said. "I saw this the other day and swore if I didn't get it for Christmas, I would buy it myself. I'm going to guess it was either Chloe or Flo. They were with me when I saw it."

"Okay, next we have Beca," CR said.

Beca took her gift and opened it. Inside was a ticket to the Barden Christmas Festival.

"Oh, my God," Beca said. "This is so cool. I heard that David Guetta was going to be there. This is awesome."

"Who do you think gave it to you?" Amy asked.

"I'm going to say, Chloe," Beca said. "She knows how much I admire David Guetta."

"Next, we have Jessica," CR said and handed the gift over.

Jessica opened her gift.

"It's a cookie press and a cookie recipe book," Jessica said. "I've been wanting a cookie press and have all these great ideas for cookies I could make using the different designs. I'm going to say Flo or Ashley because they usually bake with me and know how much I love it."

"Lily, this is for you," CR said, handing over the next gift.

Lily opened it and found a book on surviving the apocalypse. Everyone looked around with some fear in their eyes.

"It's signed by the author," Lily said loud enough to be heard. "I'm guessing this came from CR."

"Um, okay," CR said. "Next, we have Flo."

Flo opened her gift to find a bottle of her favorite perfume.

"I love this stuff," Flo said, smelling the bottle. "I'm going to guess CR on this one. She knows I ran out not too long ago."

"Next up is Aubrey," CR said and handed over her gift.

Aubrey took it with a big smile and opened it. Inside she found an envelope with her name on it. She opened the envelope and found a letter. Aubrey started reading it, and tears came to her eyes.

"What is it, Brey?" Chloe asked.

Aubrey couldn't say anything, so she just handed the letter to Chloe.

"Can I read it out loud to everyone?" Chloe asked.

Aubrey nodded her head and wiped at the tear that fell.

"My dearest Aubrey," Chloe read. "As former Captains of the Barden Bellas, we want to tell you how proud your Bellas sisters are of you. You were the first to lead our precious Bellas to a win at the ICCAs. We all stand prouder today for what you have accomplished. You did something that none of us could do; you won it. And, no matter how many other ICCA titles the Bellas win, you will be forever known among your sisters as the first to do so. Please accept this small token as our thank you for bringing glory to the Bellas name. That's it. It's also signed by like ten different Bellas Captains from over the years."

Everyone in the room could see how much this meant to Aubrey. Aubrey kept her head down and wiped away another tear. Chloe rubbed her back.

"What's the token they mentioned?" Chloe asked Aubrey.

"I don't know," Aubrey said. "I haven't looked yet."

"So, look," Amy said.

Aubrey looked in the box and removed the tissue paper. She gasped when she saw what was in there. She took it out, and Chloe gasped as well.

"Oh, my God!" Chloe exclaimed. "Is that the original?"

"Yes," Aubrey choked out.

"The original what?" Stacie asked

"It's the original Bellas pitch pipe," Chloe said in awe. "It's been with the first Captain since the Bellas were put together over 40 years ago."

"Who do you think did this?" CR asked.

"I would say it was Chloe," Aubrey said. "But she seems just as surprised as I am. I honestly don't know who else would know how much this means to me. Maybe Stacie."

"Well, Chloe, your gift is last," CR said, handing her the gift. "The sooner you open it, the sooner we can find out who made Aubrey cry."

The girls all chuckled, and Chloe opened her gift.

"I got the same thing as Beca," Chloe said. "A ticket to the Barden Christmas Festival. I guess someone knows I like David Guetta, too. So, I'm going to guess it was Beca, or maybe Aubrey."

"Let's find out who gave what to who," CR said. "I'm just going to call out each person's name in the same order, and the giver will reveal themselves. Ashley."

"That was me," Stacie said.

"I guessed wrong," Ashley said with a chuckle. "Thank you, Stacie; I love it."

"Amy," CR said.

"That was from me," Jessica said. "Although I did kind of ask Beca for some help."

"Nice," Amy said. "Thank you."

"Stacie," CR said.

"I had Stacie," Flo said.

"Thank you, Flo," Stacie said.

Flo nodded and smiled at Stacie.

"I was next," CR said.

"You guessed right," Chloe said. "I had you."

"Thanks, Red," Chloe said.

"You're welcome," Chloe said with a smile.

"Beca," CR said.

"That was me," Aubrey said.

"Really?" Beca said. "Thanks, Aubrey. It's the best thing you could've given me."

"There's a second part to your gift," Aubrey said. "But, you have to wait a bit for it."

"Um, okay," Beca said and looked at Chloe with a raised brow.

"Don't look at me," Chloe said. "I have no idea what she has planned."

"Jessica," CR said.

"That was me," Lily said. "I really like her oatmeal raisin cookies."

"Thanks, Lily," Jessica said. "Those will be the first batch I make with my new cookie press."

"Lily," CR said.

"That was me," Amy said. "I stood in line for hours to get it signed."

"You met the author?" Lily said. "Thank you! You must tell me all about it."

"See me later," Amy said with a smirk.

"Moving on," CR said. "Flo. That one's easy. It was me."

"Thanks, CR," Flo said.

"Oh, my God," Ashley said. "That just leaves Chloe and Aubrey. And I know I had Chloe, so that means that-"

Every head in the room turned to look at Beca. Beca found the hem of her shirt very interesting and wouldn't look at anyone.

"You did that for Aubrey?" Chloe asked.

"Beca," Aubrey said. "I don't know what to say."

"Thank you is more than sufficient," Beca said, still not looking up.

"No, it's not," Aubrey said, getting up and going to kneel in front of Beca. "No one has ever done anything like this for me before. Not even Chloe, and we've been friends forever. So, no, a simple thank you is not sufficient."

Aubrey took a deep breath and lifted Beca's head by her chin.

"I'm going to give you the second part of your gift now," Aubrey said.

"You're not going to kiss me, are you?" Beca said.

"Don't ruin the moment, Beca," Chloe said and smacked Beca on the arm.

Aubrey looked around at everyone, and they all nodded. Aubrey took a deep breath and let it out.

"Chloe is in love with you," Aubrey blurted out.

"Brey!" Chloe yelled.

"Chloe's what now?" Beca asked, looking at Aubrey and then at Chloe and back to Aubrey again.

"Yes, Chloe is in love with you," Aubrey said. "That's why each of you only got one ticket to the Barden Christmas Festival, so you'd go together. And, you'd finally tell Chloe how you feel about her. We all know you both have feelings for each other. It's just high time you did something about it."

Chloe sat with her head in her hands, cheeks a bright red.

"I can't believe you did that, Brey," Chloe said quietly.

"So, it's true?" Beca said. "You are in love with me?"

Chloe gave Beca a sidewards glance and mumbled, "Yes."

Beca's face split into a wide smile. She grabbed Chloe's hand.

"Excuse us," Beca said and dragged Chloe into the kitchen.

"Becs, I'm sor-"

Chloe was cut off when Beca smashed her lips against Chloe's. Chloe let out a little squeak and began kissing Beca back. Beca pulled back after a few minutes and smiled at Chloe's flushed face.

"I'm in love with you, too," Beca said.

Chloe smiled and leaned in for another kiss. She pulled back and looked at Beca.

"So, do you want to be my date to the Barden Christmas Festival?" Chloe asked.

"Only if I can take you to dinner before we go," Beca said.

"Deal," Chloe said.

"I believe we should seal the deal," Beca said, inching closer. "With a kiss."

"I totally agree," Chloe said as she closed the distance and kissed Beca.

They broke apart and looked over to see all the Bellas in the doorway cheering. Beca and Chloe both smiled, and everyone returned to the living room.

"Beca said this was going to be an epic night," Jessica said. "She was right."

"Whose gift won as best of the night?" Stacie said. "It has to be between Beca and Aubrey. I mean Beca made Aubrey cry, and Aubrey made Beca finally declare her love for Chloe."

"She definitely won," Beca and Aubrey said, pointing at the other.

"You did, Beca," Aubrey said. "You gave me the gift of a lifetime."

"No, you win," Beca said. "The gift you gave me will, hopefully, last a lifetime."

"But, you went out of your way to get me the perfect gift," Aubrey said.

"Think we should stop this?" Stacie asked Chloe.

"I know just how to do it," Chloe said with a wink.

Stacie smiled and followed Chloe over to the two arguing Bellas. Chloe stood in front of Beca, and Stacie stood in front of Aubrey; they took their faces in their hands and lifted their heads. Chloe kissed Beca and Stacie kissed Aubrey, shutting them both up. After thoroughly kissing their respective loves, the two girls pulled back from the kiss, leaving Beca and Aubrey breathing heavy and speechless.

"I think we won that argument," Stacie said.

"We totes did," Chloe said.

[confusedlamp]

Mental Health Strategies

I have dealt with various mental health BS (anxiety, depression, ADHD), and while I haven't gotten it all figured out, I have been dealing with it for well over a decade now. I figured I would make a list of coping mechanisms that have helped me and are worth trying out if you haven't already. None of these things are “magic” (just try this and your brain will be all fixed!),  and obviously not applicable in all situations. I mostly learned these via therapy or from other people struggling with mental illness. This also may or may not be to help me have a list of things written down for when I forget. 

Putting this below a keep reading thing because this got long FAST: 

For depression funks:

-Find a small task you can complete. Wash a dish, throw clothes in the hamper, take out the trash, etc. Something small.

-Take a shower. And try changing clothes. Even if it's in to some pajamas. If you aren't up to showering, try washing your face and maybe wiping down with a wipe. But a change of clothes will still feel better.

-Eat something. Doesn't have to be "healthy." Some food, no matter what it is, is better than no food.

-Can you get outside? Doesn't have to be to excercise. Just sitting on the front steps for a few minutes in the sun.

-Doing something to take care of yourself. Can you brush your teeth? Have a glass of water? Brush your hair? Just pick one thing and so it.

-Plan something. See if you can get a friend to meet you to hang out (or zoom) or maybe for dinner. For yourself, maybe find a movie to go see (post pandemic). Preferably find something that has a set time.

For panics:

- Square breathing. Breathe in for 5, hold for 5, breath out for 5, hold for 5. Repeat.

-There are a ton of meditations on youtube. Search "5 minute meditation" and you'll find a ton of videos.

-After the initial panic is over try calling a friend. If you can't for some reason (sometimes it's 3 am or your friend isn't available), try finding some cat videos on youtube. I highly recommend Cole and Marmalade. Something light that will get your brain on something else.

For Executive Dysfunction:

-Remove steps to putting things away. For awhile in school, I would have a mess of papers that weren't organized or put away because I was trying to use a binder. As silly as it sounds, having to neatly align paper holes or got find a place to punch those holes, would prevent me from putting things away. So I switched to folders. Suddenly I stopped losing things and my papers were organized.

-Bullet journaling. Or rather, I just have a little notebook where I put all my to do lists, grocery lists, project planning, brainstorming, etc. I don't properly Bullet Journal (TM) but I keep all my lists in one spot and it helps.

-To do lists in general. Writing out steps to get something done. Cross things out when you finish them. You get a better sense of accomplishment.

-When executive dysfunction is preventing you from getting out of bed, break it down. Step one, sit up. Step 2, swing legs over side. Step 3 stand up.

-Same with any task. If it seems too overwhelming or you just can't bring yourself to do it, it might be because you are looking at all the steps and feeling it's too much. So just think about the first one.

-Alarms and reminders. I put everything on a calendar in my phone. Google Calendar allows you to set a reminder for events days, weeks, hours, and minutes ahead. You can also set alarms for things like "I know I need to leave at 3 for the appointment, so I am going to set an alarm for 2:45 to start getting ready." Do not rely on yourself to look at the clock. YOU WILL NOT LOOK AT THE CLOCK IN TIME.

-Set the dang alarm clock across the room. That way, you gotta get out of bed to turn it off. Once out of bed, go take any meds, or if you don’t have meds, go do a small morning task. Usually doing this small task is enough to get me awake enough to not get back into bed. If I do, well, at least I have taken my meds. 

Sensory Issues:

- Fitted sweat pants and hiking pants. I can’t stand tight clothing, but I want to look presentable. Sweatpants that taper can still look decent. Travel pants or hiking pants (you can find these at places like REI), basically look like slacks but are made out of stretchy material. They also usually are made out of quick dry material which is nice. 

-Fidget and sensory toys. I really like hedgehog rings which have these little spikes on them I can run my thumb over. Also the tangle. I have a tangle that has a rubber coating that has little bumps on it. What you end up liking might differ, but those are two of my favorite. Also, if anyone gives you shit about these, you can explain “it’s sorta like a stress ball, but instead you [whatever you do with this fidget toy].” 

-Ear plugs. I wear these a lot because I have particular issues with sounds, especially certain ones. I prefer either silicone gummy ones or I like these that are “slim” because they don’t make my ears hurt. You can also get musician ear plugs that are made for musicians to protect their hearing, but still be able to hear tones and what is going on, for when sound is simply too load (also good for concerts). 

For General ADHD things: 

-Work somewhere different. This is a bit limited due to the pandemic currently, but just working at the kitchen table instead of your bedroom can help. In college, I used to go to the library to work. Just the idea that I was going to someplace specific to do a specific task, helped me actually get started. 

-Promise yourself that you will work for 10 minutes. Set an alarm if needed. Usually just starting will make the task seem less intimidating. If 10 minutes is too much, do 5. 

-Cardio. Get your self moving. This is good for a lot of things, but I highly recommend it for before you have to sit down to work on a task, like school work. I personally run, but if that’s not your thing dance, a class, walking, biking, etc. Just whatever you like. 

-Time dependent things are good to get yourself going. Again, this is limited by the pandemic, but for normal times, can you meet a friend for breakfast? Can you schedule your appointment so you have to get to it before you start work? When I was in college, I used to go to morning gym classes before my first class of the day. This got me up and if I was 5 minutes late, it was better to do that for a gym class than a physics class. Bonus because it was exercise and I could focus better on the class. 

-In classes, try to find a notes buddy or study group. That way, if you zoned out a moment, you can ask them for the notes from that section and vice versa. Also, meeting up with them is a great way to have a set time to study. 

For General Anxiety/ Depression: 

-This is going to sound cheesy as fuck, but: Make a list for what you are good at. Things you like about yourself. Things you have accomplished. They don’t have to be super deep, but can be. Do you like your nose? Can you paint your nails well? Are you good at understanding your cat? Are you good at writing? Drawing? Did you overcome a bad test and still manage to pass a class?  If you have a friend or significant other that you are comfortable with, ask them to help maybe. Keep this list for when you feel like shit. 

-Yoga. I’m sorry to put this on here because it seems like the most neurotypical advice, but. I honestly love this shit. If you haven’t given it a shot, there’s a reason why people like it. You don’t have to belong to a gym to try it. I highly recommend Yoga with Adrienne. She has some great beginner videos. 

-Take breaks from social media and news as needed. Seriously. You are a single person and can’t fix everything. Do what you can (share the information, make a donation, join in mutual aid efforts, etc.) but doom scrolling and obsessing won’t help anyone. If you won’t do it for yourself, consider that burning yourself out will make you unable to help later on. 

-Create things. They don’t have to be amazing. Crocheting, knitting, drawing, writing, etc. Having something that you can look at and be like “I made that” is really satisfying. Youtube has some great tutorials for pretty much anything. For drawing, I really like Proko. He has some great videos on drawing faces. But again: IT DOESN’T NEED TO BE GOOD. 

General Resources/ Advice:

-If you are currently in college, most campuses will have groups for counseling and even limited one on one sessions. Usually, these counseling groups are free and the one on one sessions can help you find a counselor nearby. 

-How to ADHD. Seriously I love this youtube channel. She goes over how ADHD affects the brain and has seriously helped me understand it better. 

-The Trevor Project. For LGBTQ teens and youth. They have a hotline and many other resources.  

-If what is stopping you from getting therapy is the idea that you are being dramatic/ are not that bad/ others have it worse: Go get therapy. What are we going to do, find the one person who has it the worst off than anyone and only they are allowed to feel bad and get help? Screw that. Get some help. 

-Remember that there are good things in your future. Where ever you are in life, you have something positive in your future, even if you don’t know it yet. One day, there will be a moment when you look back on the dark times and be so glad you didn’t give up. 

-Obligatory: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/  (1-800-273-8255). This is national suicide prevention lifeline, for the US. They can help. 

-https://www.crisistextline.org/ For when you don’t like phone calls, try texting instead. Has US, Canada, UK, and Ireland numbers. 

[ko-fanatic]

Blood, Guts and Chocolate Cake (Part 2)

Rating: Mature

Fandom: Danganronpa

Pairings: IshiMondo

Summary:

It seemed after the night before, Ishimaru was back to routine. The issue? Mondo wasn't previously aware of said routine.

TW: Alcohol, and eating disorders (both restrictive behaviours and B/P), mentions of disability, underage sex/sexualisation, drugs

Other parts: Part one

A/N: So, I reference a small headcanon of mine that Mondo has asthma. So fed up of it being seen as a "nerd" condition, so... The boi now has it. Not severe, but still.

Mondo made the executive decision to stay sleeping on the couch that night. Not that he was that bad off - the suite was VIP, after all, and the couch was comfy. he was a just bit miffed that, firstly, he had to do that in the first place because Mr Pretty Boy wanted to go clubbing, and secondly, there was a plush, California king sized bed in his room which was being tragically wasted. He hadn’t exactly had many chances to experience that sort of luxury, and he’d slept like the dead the past few nights. 

Maybe that was a problem. Had he just not realised? Some “Ultimate Bodyguard”, if that was the case. Shit… Little asshole, making him question things and get all shaky and crap. It might’ve had very little to do with Ishimaru, in full honesty, but he was too tired to think it through clearly. 

At least he did manage to get some sleep, despite being slightly cramped. He was over six feet tall, after all; not exactly made for sleeping on the couch. He’d even managed a rare, pleasant dream; dogs and cotton candy, Daiya’s obnoxious laugh and hanging with their friends in one of the many abandoned buildings they used as hangouts. They were such edgy little shits, but it wasn’t like anyone cared about the disused factories and crap. 

He’d been reliving the time Takemichi got his tongue piercing stuck in his jumper (somehow, Mondo still didn’t know how the hell someone did that), when he awoke. It wasn’t some crash or anything, just the usual sounds of someone pottering around, getting ready for the day. 

He groaned as he sat up, head pounding. He still felt exhausted, and he’d definitely drooled in his sleep. He turned to the window, and realised… It was still dark. Fucking really? After Mondo told him he wasn’t going out?

“Hold it right there,” He began, hoisting himself to his feet, doing his best not to fall straight over again, “I thought I said -”

Oh. He wasn’t wearing the tight jeans and such he was the night before. 

Ishimaru raised an immaculate eyebrow at him from where he was tying his trainers. “Relax, I’m going for a run,” He huffed, “I might as well get on with my regular routine, since someone -”

“I’m gonna cut you off right there, kid,” He grumbled, stretching out his back and arms, “What time is it? Sun’s not even out yet…”

“Owada-san, it’s winter,” The kid sighed, a deadpan look on his face, “It’s about 5:15AM.”

It was a damn good job he wasn’t drinking anything - he would have choked on it. Who the fuck even wakes up at five in the fucking morning, let alone after being awake at midnight? Not to mention the clothes. Mondo was praying, if the kid really was going to work out in some way, it’d be in a gym. Heating, shelter from the elements, a bench he could probably catch some z’s on because it’s not like anywhere’s going to be busy at five in the morning -

“Now, if you excuse me, I’m late for my run,” Ishimaru waved off, going to open the door before Mondo reached above him, slamming it closed once more. For a guy who worked out pretty constantly, it was pretty effortless to overpower his grip. Eh, guess that what comes from having lithe muscle for aesthetics, rather than the bulky stuff for actual strength. Not to mention the lack of warning  -

No, that shit could wait until later. Fucking focus, Mondo!

“You said routine… Have ya really been sneaking out every day?!” He demanded. He could’ve been a little softer about it, sure, but you have to understand; this wasn’t a good start to the job, especially if shit got out. Was he being overly paranoid? Yes. Did he not have a reason to be? He abso-fucking-lutely did! 

“It’s not sneaking anywhere,” The idol groaned, sounding very much like the stereotypical teenager in that moment, “I’m an idol. As such, I have an intensive exercise routine to stay trim, not to mention fit enough to perform my high-energy choreography. I just don’t see the need to wake you and have an irritable tough guy around me, when I can easily complete my run without dragging you the whole five miles.”

Five fucking miles?!

Oh, today was going to suck. Today was going to kick his ass and run him over with a truck. All because an idol needed to “stay trim”. Fuck, if the kid was any trimmer, he doubted he’d have any skin left. 

“Were the idols you guarded before babysat so extensively?” He kid questioned, raising an eyebrow. 

“In all fairness, you’re the youngest client I’ve had,” He grumbled, scrubbing his hand over his tired eyes, “But kid, you’ve got to tell me when you run off. Don’t care what for. You being famous, and pretty, and so skinny… I wasn’t kidding about my worry last night. Celebrities get murdered… Or worse.”

“You think… I’m…” The kid shook his head, cheeks red, gaze staring holes into his trainers, “I understand. I don’t like it - it’s suffocating! But… I see the logic.”

Mondo smiled, turning back to his room. He had to find some clothes that passed as exercise gear… 

---

Mondo knew someone had it out for him. 

He was wheezing as he jogged, trying to keep pace with Mr Trim in front of him, but lagging behind somewhat pitifully. He had his inhaler in his bag - he wasn’t that much of a dumbass - but holy fuck if this wasn’t torture. He didn’t do track in middle school. He was more than content to work on his strength and brawling skill. 

Speaking about things he was more than willing to do; laying down in the road, waiting for the next car to come along and end his misery, was getting far too attractive. 

Conversely, Ishimaru was just about breaking a sweat, panting. His insides weren’t threatening to become his outsides like Mondo’s were. Kid either had a stomach of steel, or he was just a lot more used to this shit than Mondo was - namely, the extensive train travel and exercise. 

Actually, considering the whole “Ultimate Idol” thing, it was most likely the latter. 

That was when his legs noped out of the situation, sending him stumbling and falling. He didn’t cry out, per se, so much as let out a manly grunt of surprise. 

Who was he fucking kidding? Ishimaru heard him through his headphones and blaring music. 

“Owada -san!” He called, rushing to his side in an instant, “Are you hurt?! Can you speak?! What’s wrong?!”

Ugh, so loud. 

“What’s wrong,” He grunted, “Is that someone is punishing me!” 

Maybe a tad dramatic, but holy hell! Fuck five miles, it felt like he’d run a marathon. 

“I don’t know if I royally pissed off someone up there -!”

He pointed an accusatory finger at the idol.

“Or someone down here! Like, sorry kid, but I give! Just doing my fucking job!”

Mondo watched the idol’s carefully cute and prim expression crack apart, his dignified (if far too loud) concern quickly falling into laughter and snorts. He had half a mind to be rather offended, but the carefully crafted exterior melting into those cute as hell snorts and chortling… That wasn’t even mentioning the look on the idol’s face. Pure fucking sunshine. 

Could he not be a queer disaster for five fucking minutes?!

“You’re rather funny, Owada-san,” Ishimaru chuckled. 

“Mondo.”

“Huh?” The idol barely breathed - lord above, give him strength - staring at him wide-eyed. Of course, that tends to be what happened when he let his tongue go before his brain.

“Ya can call me Mondo, none of that ‘Owada-san’ crap,” He grumbled, and he will eternally blame the heat in his cheeks on the marathon he was sure the other dragged him through.

“Oh! Well, in that case… You can call me Taka!” The kid - Taka, Goddamnit that’s cute - grinned. He was going to have to invest in those cheesy, stereotypical sunglasses if the kid was just going to unleash that megawatt smile on him without a shred of warning. Then, the kick to the crotch he really needed in that moment - 

“Now, as you’ve caught your breath, we should keep going! Obviously such a long break isn’t ideal for cardio, but we can still -”

He just flopped down once more, groaning like a man dying.

“I said sorry, didn’t I?! Ya don’t need to keep punishing me! I fucking give!” 

“Mondo,” Kiyotaka sighed, standing once more and looking at his FitBit, “Do you want to know how many miles of my morning run we’ve completed?” 

“I don’t know, ten, you animal!”

He was sent a rather disapproving, levelling look. “Two,” Taka deadpanned, “We’ve got three miles to go.”

That truck Mondo mentioned? The one the day was going to run him over with?

Yeah, it reversed for another hit.

[chrisevansgoodgirl]

feels like we're dreaming, we're tripping and reeling

summary: requested: andy barber being obsessed with the thought of reader being pregnant and wanting nothing more than to be a dad. being the most doting, caring man throughout the whole pregnancy, rubbing reader's feet and going out to get all her cravings and rubbing her stomach constantly. crying when he feels the baby kick. painting the whole nursery himself and spoiling the hell out of their little bundle when it arrives. andy barber being domestic and soft as hell in general gets me so weak.

warnings: some smut. pool smut. not the same pool bc that was a public pool but it needed to happen so. andy being cute, as cute as i’m sure he was when his wife was pregnant. (my proof: that smile every time someone asks him if he’s jacob’s dad)

word count: almost 10,000. honestly, i was going to keep going but jesus 10,000?!

pairing: andy barber x reader

How many brands of pregnancy tests existed in this world?

Honestly, beyond 5, what the fuck was the point? They measured the same shit, did they not? You didn’t care enough to find out, but during the period of painful silence, you thought about googling the answer.

You were in the tub, wrapped up in one of Andy’s hoodies, just watching him. He was at the counter, looking at the timer. He’d gone out to pick up the tests for what you guys had decided would be your new routine.

You’d always had sex a lot, but lately, Andy didn’t want to go a night without. Not because he was under the impression that would be a more effective method, he just literally could not keep his hands off you anymore. He asked you that morning if you wanted to make Friday night the test night. It made sense, he had his weekends off and that meant he could skulk around the house if it didn’t happen.

Most tests took 2 to 3 minutes. Some took 15 for whatever fucking reason. He wanted to wait for all of them, so for a quarter of an hour, you were just stuck there. Waiting. With him. Which shouldn’t have been so stressful, but it was.

The day you told him you wanted to try for a baby, he didn’t let you out of bed. Even though he knew it wasn’t going to happen for a while since you needed to finish your last week and a half of birth control. He had just been so happy, any attempts made to hide his obsession with you getting pregnant were tossed out the window immediately.

He’d thought about it before you, he’d wanted it before you, but hearing that you finally wanted it too just triggered something. He bought parenting books because he figured during your pregnancy, he wouldn’t have that much time to read. He bought this huge ass book of names and after he fucked you, he liked to bring it out and try to talk you into names he wanted while you were in such a blissful state.

Every second of trying had made you fall in love with him more. Yes, you wanted kids, but honestly, babies didn’t much appeal to you. You understood that to get to kids, you had to deal with the babies and you were okay with that, but mainly, you wanted to make Andy a father. You knew he would be good at it, possibly the best in the world.

And even with all the wanting, he never put pressure on you. The morning you told him you were done with the birth control, he sat you down and had the longest talk with you just to make sure that he hadn’t done anything to make you think he was losing patience with you. He wanted a baby, but he needed a happy wife. He didn’t want any part of something that you weren’t completely on board with.

But with wanting to try, you needed to make some changes. You were always fairly active since Andy had his busy days and you didn’t like just sitting and doing nothing while you waited for him to get home. With trying to conceive, your workouts had to be a little more basic. Longer, but less intense runs, some yoga. Andy had read that cardio was important, you thought up swimming. The very next day, he was already making plans to expand the house and add an indoor swimming pool. When you gave him a look, he pointed out that the kids would love it when they were old enough to swim. How could you possibly say no?

Caffeine was next on the chopping block. Andy, the sweetheart that he was, knew how much you loved coffee and tried his hardest to cut it out as well. He wanted to show you that you weren’t in this alone. It was your body, yes, but he would make sacrifices, too. The first time you caught him falling asleep at the dinner table, you had to tell him to end his noble support. With a job like his, he needed his coffee. The compromise was that he wouldn’t drink it in your presence.

He also did insane amounts of research. Even after you stopped the pill, he insisted on using condoms for a month after so you could start getting some folic acid before ending up pregnant. That was quite the sacrifice. One of your favorite things on this planet was when he finished inside you. Not a fucking condom. But you were trying this thing where you didn’t express negativity because with Andy as your husband, there was no way not to feel like a brat. How was someone so perfect?

Your period hadn’t returned yet but that didn’t mean you were incapable of getting pregnant. Hence the random, shot-in-the-dark pregnancy test Friday plan. You didn’t feel pregnant and you knew that was stupid. Some didn’t know they were pregnant until they were giving birth. And you’d never been pregnant before, so how would you know what to look for? You just couldn’t stop thinking about how you didn’t feel it. You also didn’t want to tell Andy because you hoped you were wrong.

It had been a week short of two months without the pill and three weeks since he stopped wearing condoms. The chances of it just falling into place were slim—you didn’t have research to back that up, just some deeply-rooted cynicism. Maybe it was your defense mechanism, act like you saw it coming and you wouldn’t be disappointed. Right?

Wrong, which you discovered when you saw Andy’s face after he turned over one of the tests. You wouldn’t cry because it had been a total of 5 seconds and some people had to try much longer, and you didn’t want him to have to put aside his feelings to then console you. You did, however, want to cry.

“We should see a doctor,” you said.

He scoffed. “We haven’t really been trying that long.”

“But we can, why not?”

He finally turned to you, forcing his expression into something that didn’t break your heart just to see. “It’s fine.”

“It’s not. Andy, I told you that I’m ready.”

“I know, and trust me, there’s nothing that I want more. I just also think there’s still some romance in being old fashioned and just letting it happen.”

“Google is your new best friend, Andy. Why not consult an actual professional?”

“We can, if you want, but like I said, it hasn’t been that long. Besides, until you start your period again, it’s probably just a waiting game. Not always, but it can be. We should be realistic about this. I don’t want to waste a visit down to the doctor just so they can tell us what my new best friend already has.”

“Okay,” you shrugged, “if that’s what you want—”

“None of that. What do you want?”

“I want to be the mother of your children.”

He sighed, crouching down to your side. “You will be.”

“You don’t know that—”

“No, I do,” he insisted. “Because I’m not going to stop fucking you. And if that doesn’t work, we’ll go see a doctor. If there’s a problem, we will fix it. If we can’t, we will adopt. Are we clear? There is no way, Mrs. Barber, that you will not be the mother of my children one day. And because I damn well know that I deserve it, I will have the great honor of being the father of your children.”

You sighed and melted, but you hoped that much wasn’t apparent. “You’re so lame.”

He smirked. “Wanna get out of that tub so we can have sex?”

“Why can’t we have sex in the tub?”

“Do you want to?”

“Maybe, but no water.”

“Okay, that’s weird.”

You shrugged. “Fine, I’ll get out of the tub.”

“Sounds like a plan.” He went to stand up but you caught his arm before he could. He took one look at you and was already shaking his head. “Don’t even say it—”

“I am, though.”

“I don’t want to hear it. Ever.”

“I feel bad.”

“You shouldn’t. It could be me. It could be nothing. Baby, it is too soon to start worrying about anything. Avoid stress, that is what you need to be doing.”

He could say it a million different ways, you were still sorry.

It was troubling how excited you were to get your period back. Honestly, when the birth control had finally taken it away, you cried. Tears of joy. To have the same reaction over getting it back felt weird.

Andy also seemed excited until you outlined just how inconvenient the whole thing was. Okay, that was being negative, but you were kind of in a bad mood. Something he was not at all bothered by. Because of course. He hadn’t been bothered by a single thing since you told him you wanted to start trying.

Officially, four months into wanting a baby and the only thing keeping you holding on was your beautiful, loving husband. He always knew when you were feeling down, so he would talk about the future and how nice it would be when you could finally take the kids out on family trips. How great taking them to school would be. All the fun things you would get them into, dance, sports, anything that you both could go and support. You were completely lost on how he was so positive all the time.

You needed to keep going, though. Like he said, you guys had options. It was better to know sooner rather than later, so you pushed forward. Sadly, your periods were irregular so you would probably ovulate irregularly. And you weren’t even aware of when you were ovulating because Andy still wanted this to be “natural”.

The second Friday with negative results was clearly taxing on both of you. He decided to end it immediately. That was why you had taken to sneaking pregnancy tests any chance you got. You didn’t like not telling him but you always felt like a failure every time it came back negative. But life went on, that much he made sure of.

The pool was finished and he seemed to like it more than you did. In fact, your liking it extended only as far as getting to see him wet and shirtless. But you were still in there 4 to 5 times a week for 30 minutes after you got home from work on weekdays and early on weekends. Because you did everything you were supposed to do. Because you didn’t want to feel like this was your fault, like there was something you were doing that would prevent this.

He came in one Saturday morning just as you were getting out. “Done?”

“Yeah, I served my time,” you joked. “I should get started on lunch. Any requests?”

“No, whatever sounds good to you.”

You went inside, fully intending to make lunch. But something that just didn’t make sense was how much you craved sex with Andy. It seemed like the more you had, the more you wanted. You guys were always sexual. At the start, after a month or so, every date ended with sex. When you moved in with him, it was more nights than not, even after you got married. But this was every day, numerous times a day.

He was turned on by the idea of getting you pregnant. He was insatiable for that reason. Sex this often wasn’t normal and it probably wasn’t raising your chances of conceiving since you weren’t being too methodical about it, but you were thrilled with this change. You worried about how much sex you would have once you were pregnant anyway, you figured you should start preparing for the long months ahead.

You were only in the kitchen for three minutes, trying to find food that would interest you more than what was currently on your mind. It didn’t work.

You returned to Andy. He was swimming his laps, completely oblivious. You stripped out of your bathing suit where you stood at the edge of the pool. He only made it three more times back and forth before he must have sensed you there.

He turned up, brushing his wet hair out of his face. When he saw you naked, his eyes widened. “Here? Now?”

“Well, unless you want me to wait for you to finish. I could just sit and watch, take care of myself until you can.”

“Here,” he decided. “Now.”

You smirked, sauntering off to the right where the stairs were. He made his way to you just before you descended the last step. He wrapped his arms around your waist and you took your cue to jump up and wrap yourself around him.

He carried you further into the water, lips moving against yours. You clung to his shoulders and your legs locked around his hips. “You are wild and demanding,” he accused.

You scoffed. “Me?”

He pretended to think about it. “Well, I guess it was me who stopped dinner last night, me who couldn’t wait until we left the grocery store, me who had you pull over while we were driving a few days ago, and me who came in here naked—oh, wait—“

You laughed. “Well, I’m just trying to prepare myself for when we’re hardly doing this anymore.”

“When we retire?”

You snorted. “No. You know, when I’m pregnant.”

He scoffed, pressing you against the side of the pool. You felt a hand moving between you, working his shorts out of the way. “You think I’m not going to fuck you when you’re pregnant?”

“Well...I assumed, yeah.”

He nudged your chin with his nose until you tilted your head back, offering him your neck. He kissed you softly as he indelicately pushed into you.

You clutched at his shoulders harder, whining his name.

“You’re insane if you think I’m going to be able to refrain from touching you. Especially while you’re pregnant.”

You angled your head so you could see his face. He looked downright amused at what you were saying.

The pace and pressure of his hips immediately became punishing. He held you tight, hands on your hips as he fucked you. “You don’t even know how hard I get thinking about you carrying my child.”

Maybe it was what he was saying, maybe it was that you had wanted him inside you since you woke up, but it wasn’t taking long to get you there. You brought one hand up to the edge of the pool for a little more support.

Andy began kissing your neck and nipping at your chest. “I think about how beautiful you’re going to look, I think about how I’m going to have you riding me every day.”

You could picture that. Fuck. You were rarely on top now because you loved being underneath him and he loved pinning you down to the mattress, but when you got bigger, you would have to adapt. It didn’t sound as boring as you’d had yourself convinced it was when he said it.

“Every morning before I go to work, I’ll wake you up with my mouth between your legs.”

You let out a shaky breath. “What’s stopping you from doing that now?”

“You,” he promised. “I can barely open my eyes before you’re telling me to get inside you. You’ll be slower when you’re pregnant, less of a predator, more of a prey.”

You scoffed but it became a moan. If he kept talking like this, you were going to come soon.

“Some women are more sensitive when they’re pregnant,” he asserted. “I bet you will be. You’re already so sensitive. I’m going to spend every weekend fucking you until you’re begging me to stop.”

“Andy.” You turned your head toward him and he kissed you. You whimpered when you felt his hand at your cunt, fingers pressing against your clit so gently.

You finished first but he was close behind, turning his head down to groan into your shoulder.

He rode out his high slowly, kissing any part of your skin that was in his reach. He lifted you out of the water, onto the tiled floor surrounding the pool. He kissed both of your knees, then your calves, all while keeping his eyes on you. “Sound like a plan?”

You smiled, rolling your eyes. “Really, I should make lunch.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.” You headed out, back to the kitchen.

“You’re not getting dressed?”

“Nope.”

Four months, one week, and six days later, you were pregnant. You’d felt weird, it was 3 in the morning, Andy was asleep, and you knew you weren’t going to be able to rest until you found out.

Technically, you hadn’t missed your period yet. Sometimes you started on the 17th, others the 22nd through the 24th. Oh, but there was also the wonderful time you had started on the 5th. That time, you did cry. He might have too, but never in front of you because he was trying to be the most positive man on earth.

You only took two tests, the ones with the least amount of wait time. The results came back positive and for a moment, you just sat there. You had been terrified that it wasn’t going to happen. You worried about how much that would hurt Andy. You also stupidly worried about the possibility that he would leave you over it.

But that didn’t matter anymore. You were pregnant and he was going to be thrilled. After being a little annoyed that you took the test without him, you assumed.

You weren’t sure how to tell him. When to tell him. It was 3 in the morning and he had to work. Maybe after he got home. If you told him when he woke up, he was just going to want to stay home.

Logically, you knew false positives were not the same as false negatives. But it was just like when you were in junior high and you didn’t get your period so you were convinced you were pregnant even though you were very much not having sex. Yes, you were paranoid but you just wanted to be sure. The only thing worse than not getting pregnant would be getting Andy’s hopes up.

You waited until he was at work and then made an appointment. This would also annoy him because he wanted to do extensive research when selecting a doctor. You weren’t robbing him of that, you just wanted to have confirmation. The second you did, you would tell him and start looking at doctors.

You had it scheduled four days out, Thursday. You could get in on your lunch hour. It was odd going and explaining to the nurse your thought process and why you couldn’t schedule a follow-up appointment after the confirmation. She must have thought you were an idiot, you possibly were, but you were a happy idiot.

That night, when Andy arrived home, you were waiting on the couch for him. Once again, unclothed. You’d gotten quite used to being nude, having him undress you every time either of you wanted sex was just ridiculous. There wasn’t a word said as he laid over you on the couch, not bothering to get undressed. He just moved his pants and then he was inside you.

He didn’t move at first, instead, he rubbed your clit until you finished around him.

You draped a leg over his ass. “Andy, fuck me.”

“Not yet, baby.” His fingers circled over your clit again, his eyes fixed on yours and wanting to see pleasure on your face. He was in a mood and that meant the sex was going to be exhausting. Worth it, but very unlike the easy and quick routines you’d gotten used to in all of the chaos of trying to get pregnant.

When he would join you in the shower because usually, you woke up earlier than him even though you went to work later, he would wrap his arms around you all sweet then shove you against the wall and make you come with him. When he would find you making dinner and fuck you over the counter. When you were up later than he wanted so he would just fuck you wherever you were until you were so exhausted that he had to carry you upstairs. No other married people had as much sex as you guys, you were almost certain.

You’d made a complete mess of his pants but he didn’t seem concerned about them. He sat up and set you on his lap, holding you in place as he thrust his hips up. There was always something amazing about sex with him still in his suit. It wasn’t like his clothing left much to the imagination anyway, you could see and feel the muscles in his arms and chest.

He continued fucking you until he was close, then he settled you flat against him and used his fingers to make you come again and again. Until he was sure he had come down enough from his almost-finish. Feeling your pussy move around him, the way you would tighten when you orgasmed, the way you continued to get wetter and wetter, he was addicted.

You grabbed his free hand and placed it on one of your breasts and he closed his mouth around the opposite. Again, he held you up so he had enough room to drive his cock into you, hard and deep, and so painfully slow. It must not have been the best day. He loved being in absolute control of you when he couldn’t be at work.

Once more, just as he was about to finish, and you could tell because his hands would tighten and his hips would start to stutter, he sat you on his lap.

You curled your hand under his jaw, pulling him from your breast up to your mouth. The kiss was sloppy, all tongue and desperate moans from both of you.

“Touch yourself, baby,” he directed as he pulled away.

Your fingers instantly dropped to your clit and you began drawing yourself toward another end. He wouldn’t let you stop, not after the first, the second, the third. Your hand was shaking, you were shaking, he had to hold you by the shoulders otherwise you would have fallen back. The entire time, he remained buried in your cunt, hard and not doing a damn thing about it. He was using you to edge himself and that made you impossibly wet.

He repeated this, more times than you could count. He didn’t say a word either, just led your hand down to your clit or used his own when he knew you couldn’t. Sometimes the sex was like this, he was working through something and he didn’t want to talk at first. It was about proving to himself that he had enviable control, and he definitely did because it wasn’t like you made it easy for him.

When he laid you down on the coffee table, he began pounding into you. You could tell when he was almost there because he was getting louder, grunting into your skin, or groaning as he bit down on your shoulder, your breast, your neck.

He pulled out before then and you felt inclined to put a stop to this madness.

“Andy.”

His hand made its way back to your pussy as he stroked his cock with his opposite. Moments later, he was spilling out onto your skin. As he continued fucking you with his fingers, you ran your hands over your stomach, spreading his cum along your body until you reached your breasts. You loved having his cum on you and he loved seeing it on you.

After your orgasm, he sat back on the couch as he worked to catch his breath. “Sorry, that was kind of a waste.”

“Not really.” You continued teasing him with your hands on your breasts and these small mewls that you knew he was already getting worked up over again.

He probably didn’t even realize what you’d said, too focused on watching you pinch and pull on your nipples.

You turned down a few minutes later, meeting his eye.

He kept his eyes on your hands as he spoke. “Wanna get in the shower while I make dinner?”

You moved off the table, legs shaky as you made your way to him. You caught his hand before he could sit you on his lap and sat down on the couch at his side. Leaning over, you took him in your mouth.

“Jesus,” he hissed.

After swallowing as much of him as you could, you set one of his hands on the back of your head. He knew what you wanted.

Holding you in place, he began rolling his hips. It wasn’t too forceful but you could feel him in the back of your throat. He was hard again in a matter of a few moments.

“God, your mouth is fucking perfect, baby.” He was losing his steady pace, his hips jerkier, slower sometimes. “All I could think about today was you. Your beautiful cunt, your fucking mouth. I’ve wanted to see you covered in my cum for so long, but...” he didn’t finish his sentence, you knew why he hadn’t.

You weren’t satisfied until you’d swallowed every drop of him. As you pulled off, he grabbed your hips and brought you onto one of his thighs. He kissed your forehead and began running his fingers through your hair.

“How was work?”

He shrugged. “You know.”

“Rough day?”

“It usually is,” he attempted to dismiss.

“Sounds like you could use good news.”

He arched an eyebrow. “You have good news?”

“Well, I’m pregnant.”

He blinked slowly, then abruptly sat up straight as his hands dropped to your hips. “What?”

“I’m pregnant.”

“Oh, okay,” he blurted out. He moved you onto the couch, standing and tucking himself back into his pants. “Do you want to take a test?”

“I already took the test.”

“Without me?” he demanded. “How many?”

“I took two, but I went to the doctor to get it confirmed.”

“Without me?!” he repeated.

“Don’t be mad, I just wanted to make sure.”

“I am mad.” But then he leaned down and started kissing you so you figured he was going to get over it fairly quickly. He pulled away, both hands coming up to your face. “I can’t believe you. How long have you known?”

“I took the test 4 days ago. Went to the doctor today.”

“4 days?!”

“Andy, I didn’t want to get you excited if I wasn’t actually pregnant.”

“Well, can you take another test so I can see it? We have a billion upstairs.”

You scoffed. “Do you want me to? I will.”

“Yeah, kind of. I know it’s stupid—“

You shook your head. “It’s not, I can do it.”

He got on his knees on the floor, gently pressing you back to the couch. “I knew it would happen, I just didn’t think it was going to happen this soon.”

“Yeah.”

“And you’re still okay? You still want this?”

“Of course.”

He leaned forward, kissing your throat all the way down to your stomach. You shivered at the sensation of his beard prickling against your skin. He continued kissing you and you ran your fingers through his hair.

He turned up to you, lips still pressed just below your navel. “It’ll be a girl.”

You scoffed. “Andy, you don’t know that.”

“I do,” he insisted.

“You never said you wanted a girl.”

“I want any baby you can give me.”

“Even if it was a demon baby that turned out to be a cannibal?”

“As long as it had your smile, yes.”

You snorted. “And your eyelashes!”

“And your cheekbones.”

You ran your finger along the bridge of his nose. “Your nose.”

“Is it red like all the other demon babies?”

“You’re in too good of a mood.”

“Impossible, no mood is too good considering you’re carrying my daughter.”

“Stop,” you scolded half-heartedly. “Look, you have a total of at least 15 weeks before you find out whether it’s a boy or a girl.”

“You have 15 weeks.”

“Andrew Barber,” you scoffed, “stop.”

“Let’s bet.”

“No!” You laughed.

“Scared?”

“Don’t even try that with me.”

He shrugged. “You sound scared. I never knew that the woman who gave me a hand job in a movie theatre would be such a baby—“

“Andy, if you don’t stop talking, all of this pregnant sex you’ve been fantasizing about is not going to happen.”

With a small smile, he shut his mouth.

“Upstairs? You want me to take the test?”

He scooped you up off the couch and headed toward your bedroom.

The next day, Andy was already working on all those grand promises he’d made. You woke with your calves draped over his shoulders, his lips wrapped around your clit, his hands folded over your hips to hold you down, and his beautiful blue eyes looking up at you.

Then he wanted to go shopping. He’d already called into work, not even bothering to lie about being sick. He was thrilled to let Lynn know that you were pregnant and apparently, she knew how big of a deal that was so she let him off the hook after making him promise to take pictures of what he was intending to do to the nursery.

He wanted to paint. You had wanted to leave it white. Gendered colors were stupid anyway. He’d said the same at the start, but he was currently waving pink swatches in your face.

“Andy, what if it’s a boy?”

He shrugged. “Then he’s going to have a pink nursery. Pink sky or pink pearl?”

You spared the colors a glance. “Pink pearl. Why can’t we just do one of those gender-neutral colors?”

“Because yellow is ugly and purple is loud.”

“Green.”

“Reminds me of spring.”

“Orange.”

“Pumpkins.”

“Red.”

“Blood.”

You rolled your eyes. “Well, why not dark blue? I was kind of hoping we could do, like, a constellation theme.”

He thought for a moment. “Let’s do both. But instead of blue, we’ll use pink.”

“Okay,” and you were excited again. “You are insane, though. Just so you know.”

“Hardly. Do you know how behind I am? I wasn’t expecting this to happen so soon. I haven’t found the doctor yet, I’m just barely starting on the nursery. We don’t have a name, we don’t have a crib. Essentially, we have nothing.”

Was he seriously already stressing about this? And that probably wasn’t even a fourth of what was going through his mind.

You reached over, finger tapping on the only pink color you’d seen that you liked enough to put on the walls. “We have a paint color. If you like it.”

He glanced between you and the color twice before nodding. “Okay.”

Walking through the aisles, you decided to take over. You threw all the tools he could possibly need in the cart and didn’t stop until you spotted the glitter. You stared straight at it until he got curious enough about what you were so focused on that he made his way to you. Adding glitter to paint was difficult, you knew because you had attempted before. Your friend’s sister’s kid was turning 7 and wanted to redesign her bedroom and you tagged along because glitter. It ended in tears and Andy buying you ice cream to make you feel better.

He sighed. “You want the glitter?”

“I simply cannot live without it.”

With another sigh, a much more resigned one, he started tossing in bags of the glitter additive. “You know you’re not helping, right?”

“What? Because of last time—?“

“No, because you’re pregnant.”

“Andy, it’s not even a baby yet. It’s a fetus. Can’t I just do what I would have always done up until the point that I can’t get an abortion?”

“That is not funny.”

You snorted. “It kind of is. Stop worrying.” You rolled onto your toes and kissed the tip of his nose. “Otherwise, you’re going to look like a grandfather instead of a father. And hey, I’d still be pretty attracted to you but we have more kids to make, so calm down.”

He banned you from the house. Yep, you had a total of one friend who was currently married and interested in children. That was the friend he wanted you to focus on, not the others, he said, that they meant well, but couldn’t possibly be supportive at a time like this. In reality, he never liked most of your friends. You kept them out of college and he always thought they liked to go out and drink too much.

Your friend was excited when you asked if you could stay with her for a bit. Andy wanted to paint immediately and then make sure all lingering traces of the paint were adequately gone from the house before you returned.

Painting took two days. He called you both mornings, brought you lunch at work, took you out to dinner, and made sure to call you before you went to bed.

Then he checked you both into a hotel for 3 days. You had to force him to go to work on Monday, pointing out that he really needed to be making money. You loved your job but it wasn’t as if the salary was sufficient to raise a baby on.

Andy let you revel in the beauty of the nursery up until the weekend. The constellations were a soft champagne color and the glitter was mixed in perfectly, evenly. It looked professionally done, but you weren’t surprised. He was perfect and everything he did for you and his child would be perfect as well.

Next, his mission was to find a crib and pick the doctor. Something that kept him on his laptop most of Saturday while you slept soundly next to him. You were already beginning to feel tired and you weren’t sure if that was because of him or your baby.

Time went by in a blur. He’d fallen into a routine effortlessly. He would wake you up as he told you he would, eating you out, then he would get you in the shower with him, and make sure you ate a good breakfast before he headed off to work. He would call at lunch, just to make sure you weren’t too exhausted to be at work. You always felt inclined to tell him stories about working pregnant women every time. He would come home and fix dinner and wouldn’t let you lift a finger to help. At night, after he thoroughly fucked you, which honestly didn’t take much, you would fall asleep together. It was a great first two months.

At the start of your 3rd month, you were already showing. It seemed like it was the best day of Andy’s life. In fact, he wanted to start a scrapbook. He wanted to document everything and you didn’t have the heart to tell him he was absolutely crazy. Besides, it was pretty cute.

It was around this time that you had the most absurd craving for almond butter. He loved almond butter so it was always in the house and you never once wanted any part of it. Randomly, you thought apples and almond butter sounded great and you finished the entire jar before he got home. Something that amused him greatly, he promised he would get more on his way home the next day. That new obsession lasted for a week and a half, and you had yourself convinced that it was going to be the worst of it.

No. Swap out apples for Cheetos. Seriously, you wanted to eat Cheetos and almond butter. You were downright ashamed so you didn’t even ask him to get you anything, you just snuck out to the store before he got home one night and bought yourself a sufficient stash that you kept hidden in the very back of the pantry. This wouldn’t work for the entire pregnancy but until you were further along, you intended to hide these horrible cravings.

Well, as well as you could. He was anticipating more after the almond butter so he always texted and asked if you wanted him to bring something home. So far, your genius combinations had been tacos and chocolate, macaroni and cheese and sour patch kids, cashews and Doritos, French fries and hot chocolate, and orange chicken and lemonade. Andy drove everywhere at any given hour. If there was a store open, he would go. If it was closed and you couldn’t wait that long, he would go to a 24-hour fast food place. He’d started stocking your favorites as well, and hiding them until you really needed them.

The day before you were set to find out the sex of the baby, he went shopping. You were far too tired to try to leave the house, especially since Andy could shop. You thought he would come home with more for the nursery. Since he’d found the crib, he’d started looking at bedding and the other matching furniture. You knew it would be extreme since you weren’t there to stop him. What you did not expect was that he would sneak in and take full advantage of your unconsciousness. If he hadn’t dropped something, you never would have caught him.

When you found him in the nursery, he was in the closet. Hanging up clothing. Pink clothing. For a girl. “Andy.”

“We are having a girl,” he stated simply.

“Oh, my god,” you muttered to yourself.

“Sorry I woke you.”

“Don’t be, I’m glad I’m witnessing this insanity.”

He gave you a flat look, fully turning to you with a tiny black bodysuit with white hearts printed on it. “This could be for a boy, I don’t know what you’re so upset about it.”

You smirked. “Anything can be for a boy if you try hard enough. Look, if you wanted a girl so bad—“

“I wanted a baby.”

“Andy, you bought girl clothes!”

“Because we are having a girl.”

“You’re going to have this child alone if it doesn’t stop making me crave the most ridiculous things.”

He hummed. “Is that why you’re up here?” Smirking, he made his way to you. As usual, his hands went straight to your stomach, he had to feel any movement and it was driving him crazy that he hadn’t. “What do you want?”

You scoffed tiredly. “A lot of things. Yogurt, peach and blueberry. Something lemon, lemon squares, lemon cake. A lot of pasta, I really want spaghetti. And despite your incorrigible behavior, I want you.”

“You do mean sexually, right? Because I read sometimes pregnant women want to eat things that aren’t food—“

You placed your hand flat over his mouth. “I take it back, I just want the food.” You turned away to escape from the room but he was right on your tail. “Andy, I’m hungry.”

“I’ll get you the food,” he promised. “Let’s just make a quick stop to the bedroom first.”

You didn’t put up much resistance as he began leading you that way. He had been correct about one thing, you were so sensitive. You’d given up on wearing bras or underwear, and your clothes had to be loose. Especially given the dreams you were having. Much to his simultaneous joy and dismay, you would send him pictures and videos of certain sexual situations at least twice a week just a couple of hours before he got home.

That cocky bastard was correct. A fact that had him beaming the remainder of the appointment, all the way home, and even in his sleep. You weren’t upset that you were having a girl. It wasn’t that you thought you had a right to be picky, but very simply, you wanted a girl more than you wanted a boy. You weren’t even sure why. Gender wasn’t real and it wouldn’t upset you if someday in the future that little girl told you that she wasn’t a girl at all. Logically, you knew there was no point. But you didn’t have to be logical, not while you were carrying a baby.

Even though Andy was annoyingly smug about the whole thing, you were excited. You finally got to take a look at the closet and discovered yesterday was not his first time buying clothing. You wanted to be mad at him but he had the softest look on his face. This was everything he wanted and you liked that you were able to provide it for him.

At 5 months, he absolutely needed to feel her kick. If he wasn’t fucking you or feeding you, or shopping, or at work, his hands were on your stomach. One of his favorite things, when you got out of the shower, was covering you in lotion, something you were supposed to do to prevent stretch marks, not that either of you much cared. During that time, he would speak to her, try to get her to give him any kind of movement. Or sometimes, you would wake up and he was just level with your stomach, whispering things to her.

You didn’t have the heart to tell him that you’d felt what you presumed were “flutters” and maybe one good kick a couple of nights ago, but you weren’t certain. You sort of enjoyed that she didn’t just give in to his murmurings of “come on, baby, give daddy a kick”, or “if you kick, I’ll never tell you no”. That line was dropped from rotation after you pointed out you would be holding him to that when she wanted to start dating.

She seemed to like his voice, you could admit. Sometimes it wasn’t him that woke you up, it was her responding to him. They weren’t fast movements, they weren’t particularly forceful either, but they were there. You didn’t understand how he’d yet to feel anything. And since you were still telling him you hadn’t really felt anything, he brought it up at the next appointment. The look of pure horror on his face when the doctor told him the likelihood of fathers never feeling any movement was sad, in a funny way. Kind of. Being pregnant had made you a little meaner.

He was pouting about it all night but you told him you were sure he would feel something. You told him you wouldn’t have her until she kicked for him. He knew you couldn’t control that, obviously, but it made him feel better.

At 5 months and 2 weeks, it happened. You were failing at staying awake and trying to read a book when you felt an abrupt tap. You startled awake, discovering the book on the floor. That had to be it, you just dropped it on yourself. But then it happened again, a bit harder and a tad painful.

“Andy!”

He bolted to your side in a matter of seconds. Seriously, he had to have broken world records with that trick. “What? What’s wrong?”

You grabbed his hands, pulling his arms over the back of the couch, and placed them over your stomach.

“Are you okay? Do we need to go—?”

“Shut up,” you ordered.

After a couple of minutes, he sighed. “You felt an actual kick?”

“Sorry, she tends to move more when I’m so still.”

He moved around the couch and sat on the floor. “It’s going to happen. I’m not going to feel her.”

“No,” you argued. “Are you working?”

“No, just scaring myself with more books.”

You held your hand out to him and he helped you up. You crouched down to pick up your dropped book and handed it off to him. “Read it, she seems to like your voice... I’ll fall asleep, see if that works.”

You were settled in bed next to Andy, his one hand pressed to the side of your belly as he read the book aloud. You were trying to keep still but also trying to stay awake, you wanted to see his face when he felt it. That was out of the question, Andy’s voice was like honey, or a fall morning, or the feeling of being home after a long day. You were out after a few paragraphs.

When you woke up, you weren’t sure why. You saw Andy hovering over you fully with wet eyes and the softest smile you had ever seen. “Baby?”

“I felt her.”

You scoffed. “I told you that you would.”

He kissed all over your stomach, lingering each time. “Maybe she finally knows I’m her daddy.”

“She always knew.”

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

“Truth?” He glanced up at you and you explained, “I’ve been feeling her for a while now. That’s why I knew she liked your voice... I have some bad news, Andy. It seems like she already knows you’re wrapped around her finger and she is going to enjoy making you jump through hoops.”

“Just like her mom.”

You smirked. “Guess so.” You reached out to touch his face. “What are you thinking?”

He shrugged. “Every morning, I wake up and I’m so sure that my life couldn’t get any better but every day, it does. I didn’t know it was possible to love as much as I love you and as much as I love her.”

You turned to mush instantly.

“I didn’t have this growing up, you know. I didn’t have a dad but I’m going to do it right. I’m not going to be like him. I don’t understand how he could just walk away from his child, I would never do that. I could never do that. Or from you, my beautiful wife. For a long time, while we were trying, I just hated him so much. More than usual. I hated that we had to try so hard and that he was given a family that he just tossed away.”

“Well, he was an idiot. You are truly the best man I will ever know, possibly the best man that there is. And you’re going to be the best father, too... Okay, maybe second best after Ryan Reynolds, but still pretty high up there.”

He scoffed.

Feeling her kick was another addition to his day. Lips and fingers brought you to orgasm before taking you to the shower where he carefully wrapped his arms around your shoulders and fucked you from behind. He would dry you off, lay you out on the bed, and cover you in lotion and pay a lot of attention to your feet. His hands all over your body never failed to make you want him, but he had to go to work. You both knew if you started, he was going to end up being late. After breakfast, he would say goodbye to you, then he would lean down and ask his little girl for any kind of movement. She’d began to indulge him at least twice a day, when he was leaving and when he would say goodnight.

He’d always let you sleep in on Saturdays and even stayed with you for a great deal of it. Mostly because he knew you could sense when he wasn’t in bed and that would wake you. But with time, you were becoming less tired. Not entirely, you still were out like the dead at 9 every night, but sometimes you woke up actually feeling rested.

Saturdays were what he intended them to be. This particular Saturday had him wrapped around you, hands flat to your stomach, chin atop your head. You had another fantastic dream, one where you weren’t pregnant.

You loved your baby and you loved that you were able to carry her but you missed how hard he fucked you sometimes. You just couldn’t wait until he could pull your hair, choke you, spank you, tie you up, all of the things he loved to do to you. More importantly, you couldn’t wait until he was on top of you, pinning you down and leaving bruises.

Those dreams were why you woke up wet more often than not. Why you never hesitated to take his hand and slide it lower but you didn’t need that today, you just needed him. For you, he’d adapted to sleeping without clothes. It was easier that way and he’d never complain about you doing the same. Besides, the heat was getting the best of you the bigger you got.

You reached back with your heel, tapping his shin several times. “Andy?”

He hummed.

“It’s Saturday. Wake up.”

He scoffed, eyes still closed. “Yeah, it’s Saturday. Sleep in.”

“Fuck me,” you whined.

“I wish I could say that wasn’t enough to get me hard.”

“You were already hard,” you assured. You could feel him against your hip.

He grabbed your thigh and draped it over him. “You know, my love, when you’re not carrying our baby, I am going to have a lot of fun making you wait for it. I am indulging you now simply because you are giving me the greatest gift anyone could. But when I can tie you up, when I can fuck you, that is what I’m looking forward to.”

You moaned as he unhurriedly slipped inside you. “I miss your hands around my neck, that’s what I’m looking forward to.”

“So, I suspect you’ll continue being a brat long past your due date.”

“Yes, and there’s nothing you can do about it,” you taunted.

“Not right now, just you wait. You’ve been bad ever since you told me you were pregnant. Laying on the couch, naked. I know you had been touching yourself. I’ve been keeping track and your ass is probably going to be getting spanked up until you’re pregnant again.”

You snorted, turning your head back slightly. ���Oh, and is that going to be immediately after?”

He kissed along your jaw. “Up to you.”

“You want another girl?”

“Yeah,” he admitted somewhat sheepishly.

You scoffed.

“But I wouldn’t be let down by a boy,” he promised. He started delicately rolling his hips, one hand coming to your center to rub your clit.

Watching you fall apart like this was something else. Andy found you utterly beautiful, your cheeks would flush, your eyes would fill with such desperation for him that made him feel wanted. The moans that spilled from your mouth were sometimes animalistic, inspired only by how much you needed him to give you what only he could.

Now that you were pregnant, he could cover you in his cum. He always loved doing that, an interesting discovery he’d made very early in your relationship. After you decided you wanted to try for a baby, he would often come inside you and tell you to leave it there, which was pleasing as well. But this. This was simplistic, classic beauty.

He pulled out, fingers filling you instead. Your hips moved frantically, seeking the pressure of his palm against your clit. Angling your head back, his lips hungrily met yours. You reached down and took him in your hand, he turned his head slightly to hiss a curse.

Once he looked at you again, you pretended all you wanted was an innocent kiss. Something you kept up until he was just about to come, and then you bit down hard on his bottom lip. He had no idea how to retaliate and seeing the frustration play out on his face was almost as satisfying as your finish.

You laid next to him patiently as he came down, anticipating his reaction. It was always funnier when he had time to dwell on the situation. For several more weeks, you had complete permission to be as bratty as you wanted. You couldn’t believe you hadn’t been taking advantage of that more.

He turned his head to you and you smirked. “That’s going on top of the list. You will regret that.”

“The look on your face was so worth it.”

“Teasing is also going on the list,” he warned.

The day your water broke was just a normal day. Of course, not your due date. No, this baby had been torturing you since the very start, why stop now? You expected it was just something in the Barber blood. Strong-willed, complicated, and the tendency to be a complete pain in the ass.

Regardless, your husband was at work. If everything went well for him today, there was one last case that he was going to tie up, and then he was yours and hers until he was ready to go back. You figured that wouldn’t be for a long while and that was exciting.

You would think that this would have been too much by now. You guys didn’t really have your friends, or regular company that you kept. No one had been in your home, save for Lynn who you insisted he invite over so she could see the nursery in person.

She’d also given you a gift and you wanted to receive it from her in person. You knew there was a special friendship she had with Andy. A woman in a position of power, you figured she didn’t have time for many. And Andy wasn’t a typical friend, a low-maintenance guy who was kind and smart. They just went together well, and you wanted to encourage him to let her in at least a little.

He answered your call on the first ring because he’d been glued to his phone for these past three months every time that he had to leave the house. “Hey, everything okay?”

“Are you busy?” you worked to keep your voice level. No need to rile him up before he could get home.

“No, not really. I just stepped out of a meeting with Lynn. We were talking about the last case she thought of giving me. She’s wondering if three days is—”

“She should give it to someone else.” You had taken to rubbing your stomach, mentally pleading with your baby. Please, baby, just wait for your daddy. I’ll never hear the end of this if he doesn’t see it.

“Are you okay?”

“Well, I’m fine…but my water broke—”

“What?!” he yelled. You distantly heard him yelling then, “Lynn, I gotta go! My baby is on the way and she was a bit of a jerk at the start, wouldn’t kick for me. I think she’s missing all those times she killed my soul and I’m terrified she’s going to show up before I make it.”

You could only imagine the look on Lynn’s face. Or the look on his face. A cross between terrified and thrilled, he probably looked like a serial killer.

“Can you wait for me to get home?”

“Did you just call our daughter a jerk?”

He huffed. “Baby.”

“I think so. I haven’t started having any contra—nope! No, there it is.”

He talked you to through breathing until it subsided. “Okay, listen, this is very important. I’m across town right now and there’s going to be some traffic at this hour—”

“Please don’t drive crazy.”

“I won’t, I promise. But first, I need you to get the timer…where are you?”

“On the couch.”

“Great, get the timer under the table.”

“There isn’t a timer under the table.”

“There is, I taped it there.”

“For what?” you pressed.

“This, obviously.”

“But why would you tape it?”

“There are about twenty timers all over the house, hidden so you couldn’t find them and move then.”

With a deep sigh, you leaned forward slowly to search under the top of the table for the timer. Yup, he was being serious.

“Okay, just keep track of them. And now, the second thing, I need you to promise me something. The neighbors, if you need them to drive you, they will.”

“What?”

“I’ve been creating these backup plans ever since you told me you were pregnant.”

“Oh, come on,” you complained. “I thought you were being nice to them because you liked them.”

“I mean, it’s not as if anyone in our neighborhood would ever say no to taking you. I just had to make sure that they were good drivers.”

You didn’t know how to respond. You had hoped that having a child was making him see the importance of social ties. These people lived by you, they were all having kids, most of them would probably end up in the same school.

“Honey?”

“I thought you wanted them to be our married friends. She just had her baby 8 months ago—”

He snorted. “Yeah, in addition to that other one.”

“Are you talking about Charles?”

“I know he’s 5, but he’s evil—”

“Andy!”

“Baby, listen. I’m getting in the car now. If you need to get to the hospital before I make it there, go left first. If they are not home, then go to the right. Left then right. Left first, right is the second resort.”

“You dragged the Johnsons into this, too?”

“Dragged ‘em all in, baby. Gotta go, stay calm and don’t move unless you need to. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” You hung up and laid back against the couch. It felt like all there was to do was wait for your next contraction, something you did not enjoy the first time. They were just going to get worse, you needed your husband here.

You heard Andy pull up a little over half an hour later. He charged into the house like a maniac, showing up at your side, hands immediately going to your stomach. “Are you okay?”

“I’ve had a couple of contractions,” you reported. “They don’t last long and they’re pretty far apart.”

“Okay, let’s go.” He helped you off the couch, bringing the timer along with him. He let you control the pace to the car. You’d gotten bigger than you thought you would and walking three steps was nearly a minute-long ordeal.

Halfway there, you noticed the bag over his shoulder. “Don’t you have a bag in the car?”

“I packed the car bags sometime last week. Who knows what state of mind I was in? I can’t trust my competence.”

“Are you implying that there has been a moment during these 40 weeks that you haven’t been out of your mind?”

“I’m going to pay for this neighbors bit, aren’t I?”

“Yes,” you promised.

Labor wasn’t a long process. Painless as many women had told you it was? Fuck no. It hurt, a lot. But Andy was there and he was all you needed. He talked you through the breathing, he never stopped touching you, your arms, your face, your stomach. He liked to make plans when neither of those things worked. He reminded you about all the great things you guys would get to do with children, and it was enough to get you through it.

You thought you knew what love looked like, because you loved Andy so much. But when he saw your baby for the first time after she’d been set in his arms, he looked at her in such an intense, breath-taking way.

Any uncertainty you might have been playing with in your mind was gone in that second. You’d gotten a bit paranoid over time. Wondering if you guys were just going to have the same marriage as everyone else. Like, you started in love and ended with affairs and really hurtful words. But you knew then that this was not a normal family. This was true, unconditional love.

[curious-menace]

Arkham Scarecrow SFW Alphabet

im really enjoying writing arkham scarecrow. maybe ill do something similar to my random riddler headcanons posts with some scarecrows

long post under the cut

 A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Uhhh, the short answer is no. Jonathan is almost wholly incapable of what most people would term “affection”. His idea of loving is not using you for his experiments, only giving you small doses to build up your immunity( not that that will stop him from enjoying watching you panic). Jonathan leans heavily on gifts and words of affirmation as his language of love ( assuming he can even feel that emotion). He calls you  “my dear”  and “my darling” or once “my pumpkin” if he had too much to drink. 

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Jonathan would make a good friend if he could ever be wrangled into admitting it. He’s a complete bastard, but he's a loyal bastard. He always goes above and beyond for his friends but it's always in a “aw shit. My favorite idiot needs help AGAIN?!” begrudging , kind of way. You probably met in university/college and if you've stuck with him this long he’d be hard to get rid of.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He never asks for cuddles and is pretty touch adversed as a rule. Sometimes though, He simply plonks himself in your space and expects you to know what he wants. Usually it's gentle backrubs/strokes like you would with a child. Sometimes he just wants your warmth to sooth his aching body. He’s heavier than he was in Arkham asylum but still very underweight so you shouldn't have too much trouble moving him into a comfortable position.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Absolutely not. I'm not convinced this man owns more than his books and the burlap sack on his back ,never mind a home. He has plans to take the cloudburst on tour, to go cross country and then across the world spreading fear. That would be a little difficult if he had gotham mortgage sending him nasty emails every other day about missed payments. While he can cook and clean, I doubt you'd want to eat anything he made. Ignoring his filthy hands, he's probably laced it with fear toxin or a lethal amount of hot sauce.

His homemade cleaning chemicals are pretty stellar mind you. They can get blood, piss or tears out of anything. 

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Scarecrow really is a ride or die kinda guy. If you've wormed your way into his life then he’s going to do literally everything and anything to keep you in it. He’s not above making you dependent on him for safety just to keep you around longer. He’s not a total monster to the people he cares about mind you. If you really didn't want to be with him, he’d let you go….eventually.

I'm not sure he fully understands the concept of a “breakup”on his end. He gets that you don't see eachother anymore but I don't think he quite grasps that it's not because one party is dead. There's a 99% chance he’ll use you for his fear toxin experiments as a way of kicking you to the kerb. If you wake up in a ditch with a text that says “we’re through” you should consider yourself lucky. 

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

I canon arkham scarecrow as having been engaged at one point in his life, possibly around the time of origins. I can imagine his partner gave him a “me or the fear toxin” ultimatum which has led to the man you know now. Despite how he looks, how he speaks and acts, he’s still open to the idea of a partner. He’s a loyal man who can't stand backstabbers, he’d appreciate someone like a spouse/husband/wife to have his back. If he decided he wanted to get married he’d propose almost immediately. It might be more of a business or thesis type proposal with lots of talking rather than flowers and wine and you're likely to be married as soon as you said yes. 

He has a tiny pumpkin ring saved for the occasion. Something like this (image credit https://www.banggood.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He’s gentle, in a creepy way unsurprisingly. He was a little stronger than the average man before the incident with croc, all that cardio and fighting with batman made him a skinny legend amongst the rogues for how well he could fight. Now? He couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag. Mostly he's calm and soft, especially when you wouldn't expect him to be.  He can still be an emotionally manipulative person but chances are good you're smart enough to see right through him. Calling him on his bs is actually a good way to endear yourself to him. He likes a challenge and he loves it when people think they can outsmart him.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Hmm. yes and no. Scarecrow is severely touch adversed, but...It's not like with Riddler; Edward is on the autism spectrum and genuinely gets overstimulated by a lot of physical contact, he doesn't usually enjoy it unless under specific circumstances. Scarecrow WANTS to be hugged and held on occasion, but the mere thought of someone in his personal bubble sends his hackles up. 

When he first woke up after the asylum, he clung to you like a lampent. Scarecrow gives and recieves hugs like someone who needs them to breath.Your warmth soothes the aching pain when even drugs couldn't . By the time of Arkham Knight he’s grown cold and distant. His hugs are few and far between and unusually half hearted even when he initiates them. Maybe he’s just preoccupied with batman.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

I doubt he’d ever say the words ``i love you” but he’s absolutely going to quote love poetry at you, recite lines from his favorite literature  “shall i compare you to a summer's day” and all that. That’s far better than a simple “i love you” right?

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Jonathan is sort of one note when it comes to expressing frustration. Coffee machine not working? Melt it down into fear toxin vials. Line at the grocery store? Gas everyone out of his way. He doesnt get mad, he gets even. He’s not a super jealous person, he’s probably the most secure in himself out of all the rogues in Gotham bar Selina and ivy. But when something does hit his jealousy bone just right? LORD HE IS TERRIBLE. 

Unless you were the instigator, you are 100% safe but the poor soul who made the mistake of flirting with you will never see the light of day again.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He can't really kiss to be honest. He lacks a lot of lip tissue and tongue dexterity for deep smooching. He’s quite happy to give you little pecks on the cheek but anywhere else will get sloppy and he's not a fan of that. Jonathan has actually started to bump you with his head like a cat in lieu of kisses. Rare as it is, when he wants kisses he has a tendency to nuzzle into the crook of your neck or rest his head on your shoulder. He likes to be kissed on the cheek , forehead and top of his head. Most other places are covered in scars and lack the sensitivity to enjoy it.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He likes to scare kids. It's not as malicious as it is with adults, he just likes to yell boo at them, smiling as they scream and giggle and run away. It's probably the most innocent he’ll act around other people. He still doesnt like them per say but he’ll tolerate them in small doses. 

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Scarecrow , like most rogues, is not a morning person. He doesn't sleep well and he is hella grumpy when he first wakes up. Expect to watch him shuffle around his hideout like a zombie, still wearing a quilt and his dressing gown as he complains about everything from the weather to the loud creaking of the floorboards. You should present him with food and coffee and then retreat to a safe distance until he’s fully awake, otherwise he’s liable to turn on his grumpy old man routine on you. If he's feeling particularly sore or needy, he’ll ask you to help change his bandages and dressings .

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

It really depends on what he feels like in the moment. Sometimes he’ll leave you at home while he goes out to cause general mischief, sometimes he’ll bring you along as a look out. Sometimes it's a low-key night at the hideout reading and sometimes it's a caffeine fueled frenzie of experimentation and lab work with you as his trusty lab assistant.  He doesn't sleep well at night, the aches keep him up. If he were ever to actually go to bed he might find that you make a great pillow.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

As much as he resents people having the upperhand with information, it's hard not for people to see his past. His scars are so easily visible, inside and out. He doesn't talk about his past unless prompted. But if you do he’ll quite happily answer all your questions; he’s not afraid of discussing it. 

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Jonathan is a very patient man, not just when it comes to revenge.It takes quite a lot to make him fly off the handle and he cools off again quickly. That's not to say he doesn't hold a grudge like he’s being paid for it, only that it's more of a simmering anger rather than a boiling one.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He remembers most things about you, he has an excellent memory. But that being said he never lets on that he knows these things. He likes to hear you talk about the things that interest you, even if you've told him about it before. Watching you wax lyrical about your chosen subject makes him feel close to you. 

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

I don't know if it's a favorite or even a positive memory but when he first woke up from surgery after croc you were lying beside him. He was understandably confused, maybe even afraid, but seeing you there brought him great comfort. He didn't know what was happening because of all the meds, but as long as you were with him he was confident things would work out for him.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He means well, you should always keep that in mind  before you snap at him. He brought you to the arkham knights HQ to protect you from his plans, he’s given you micro doses of fear toxin to build your resistance and by the time of arkham knight you can hardly move for the amount of guards he has following you around. He’s overbearing bordering on controlling but I think it's because he simply can't admit the thought of losing you scares him, even just a little. You aren't a rogue, you don't know Batman like they do. He just needs to keep you safe from batman, from the police and from the ugly world outside.

Given how weak he’s been viewed practically all his life, I believe he’d resent the accusation he needed protecting. deep in his mind he knows no one man is an island. He appreciates little helps even if he won't say it. He doesn't need protection per say but If nothing else, after being injected with his new toxin, he's going to need someone who’s corpus mentis in his corner for court and medical proceedings.  

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

His idea of a perfect date is you two working on your respective projects in comfortable silence, maybe a trip to the museum if he feels like the exercise. Obviously that suits some people down to the ground, myself included, but he gets that it's not for everyone. He’s probably ok with you planning the activities provided you warn him beforehand. 

Given everything he’s been planning for batman, things like important dates and even everyday tasks have a tendency to get lost in the fray. He's not doing it on purpose, He’s glad to celebrate these things with you if you remind him, He's just got his priorities in a funny order.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He shuffles his feet when he walks and is one of those people who always has conversations in doorways. You can never be sure he isn't aware of these habits and is doing them on purpose. He also used to smoke quite heavily but has since given it up due to his throat and lung issues.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

It's sort of a mixed bag with him. On the one hand he knows he’s ugly, that's the point. You're MEANT to be scared looking at him, he’s leaning into it. But on the other hand his “look” is a carefully maintained visage; if it slips it might lose the intended effect. He might not be as scary to look at or worse, people might look at him in pity. It's not ordinary vanity or narcissism but yes, he is concerned with maintaining the way he looks 

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

The concept of feeling whole is somewhat lost on him; He’s clearly missing a few screws even in his most lucid moments. That said even in the depths of madness brought on by his toxin, he still notices your absence. Still incredibly distressed In his cell in blackgate, he can often be heard crying out to you for comfort  but is lacking the wherewithal to understand why you're not there. 

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Given that he has pretty extensive facial injuries, eating is pretty difficult for him. He used to really enjoy bagels and cubanos from gothams many deli’s. His favorite was a kosher deli in The Cauldron, before Joker ruined it. They’ve since rebuilt and while he can't eat many solids anymore , he still enjoys their matzo soup and smoothies. 

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Like most of the rogues, he absolutely can't stand bullies.He also can't stand physically aggressive people; if you're going to even TRY and intimidate him maybe you could use your words like someone with more than 2 brain cells to rub together, rare as that is in gotham. Back when he was a psychiatrist he hated people who were chronically late. Not his patients, most of the time it wasn't their fault  due to executive dysfunction or traffic, but people who kept HIM back and made HIM late were the bane of his existence. 

Z = Zzz (What are their sleep habits?)

Crane is a back sleeper who snores because of his damaged septum.He knows he makes a noise akin to a flip flop in a lawn mower but there is literally nothing he can do about it besides sleep on his stomach. He squirms around a lot in his sleep so even if he starts on his stomach, he’ll be on his back snoring like a dead horse in no time. The only thing that could keep him frontwise is if he were to sleep on you and have you hold him in place. 

[fanficimagery]

Pull Me Closer

Summary: Imagine moving in across the street from Scotty Sire.

Words: 5.5K  Warnings: Language. I adore Kristen with all my heart, but for the sake of this imagine were just going to pretend Scotty is single.

Moving states away felt like a breath of fresh air, especially after the passing of your last living grandparent. Things were tense, even more so after the reading of the will, and the three bedroom home in California was calling your name. The front and back yard was spacious enough for your dog, and the pool and hot tub out back were perfect for you.

Before the move you had your personal belongings and some furniture you couldn't live without shipped to your new home where the house's occasional caretaker put it in the house for you, and even ordered some stuff online from a nearby warehouse that delivered directly to the house. Thankfully the caretaker put everything in their respective rooms, and even had the pool and hot tub set up for your arrival.

So pulling up in your Jeep Wrangler with the windows rolled down, you park in the driveway and stare up at the three bedroom home that is now all yours. Reaching over into the passenger seat, you rub your hand over Rocko's back- your fully grown black and gray Great Dane.

"Welcome home, Rocko. Lets go check it out."

Rocko quietly woofs as you exit your Jeep, quickly rushing around to the passenger side to open the door for your dog. He jumps out, tail wagging as he immediately sets out to sniff the entire yard. You then make your way over to the mailbox where your house key is hidden, your attention being stolen by raucous laughter from across the street. There are a group of boys, a couple of them filming as others run around with paintball guns.

"Whoa. Check out that horse!" The exclamation makes you chuckle, you grinning when you see their attention is on Rocko who's now standing at the curb and staring at the boys with a slightly wagging tail.

You whistle and gain Rocko's immediate attention. "Lets go, boy. Inside!" As you start to make your way towards the house, Rocko leaps into action and follows after you. You push the key into the lock and the door opens easily. Sighing in content, you scratch Rocko between the ears. "Home sweet home, pup."

After scoping out the neighborhood and getting a feel for it, you finally find yourself comfortable enough to jog around in order to get some sort of cardio in. The kids around the block especially love it when you jog with Rocko in tow and you soon find yourself fitting in.

And even though you've been in your new place for about a week and a half, today's the day the neighbors across the street have finally made themselves known.

You and Rocko are walking up to your mailbox when two boys jog across the street. You feel messy and gross because you'd been running around with Rocko for quite some time, but the boys are all smiles. Rocko quietly woofs in excitement and you scratch him between his cropped ears.

"Whoa," the tanned, dark haired individual muses. Only then do you realize he's got a camera in hand. "He's intimidating up close."

"Don't worry. He's a sweetheart. Rocko's just excited because you're new." Both guys seem to ease up at that, the dark haired one stepping up to Rocko and petting him, taking video.

The silver haired, red beaded guy chuckles. "Sorry about him. He's easily excited by dogs. We, uh, we live next door and figured we'd finally come over and say hi. I'm Scott."

"And I'm Todd," Todd says distractedly, leaning down to kiss Rocko before moving back at the last second, laughing.

"Y/N. And nice to finally meet you guys. I think you're the only ones I hadn't met."

Scott sheepishly rubs the back of his neck. "Sorry about that. We're usually home, but our friend needed some content for his vlog so he flew us out to Vegas and-"

"And it's been a party non-stop," Todd says. "Good times."

You laugh softly. "Your friend vlogs?"

"We all do, but David's got more of a following than us."

"Oh. That's cool," you admit. "I, uh, I actually post videos too, but nothing crazy or as frequent as those famous Youtubers do."

"Oh yeah? What do you post?"

"I cover songs that I can vibe with." Todd immediately looks up, pointing the camera at you and Scott. "And I do unboxing videos of some of my fanmail. I love opening up sketchy mail."

"Look, guys," Todd says, "Scott's found his soulmate."

You snort and Scott faintly blushes, glancing at his friend and shaking his head. "Dude, shut up." Then he looks back at you, smile a little wider and a little nervous. "I sing too, but I mostly post videos of the stupid shit me and my friends get up to."

"Why do I get the feeling the shit you and your friends get up to is off the walls insane?"

"Because it is," Todd tells you. "David likes to shoot us with a paintball gun when we least expect it."

"What?"

"It's fine. We get paid, so it's all good."

You chuckle in disbelief. "If you say so. I'm going to have to look you guys up on Youtube now."

"Do it," Scott agrees. "Just look up David Dobrik. We're all tagged in his videos."

"I will." You rock back on the heels of your feet, whistling shortly to catch Rocko's attention. "Well it was good to finally meet you both. I should, uh, I need to shower and eat," you say while slowly backing up the sidewalk into your yard.

"Wait, what?" Todd says, looking up in a hurry. "That's it? We don't get a name in return to look you up on Youtube?"

You and Scott both laugh. "Just look up Halsey on twitter. She tweeted out my latest cover of her song Graveyard a couple weeks ago."

"Halsey tweeted you!" Todd practically shouts. "Shut the fuck up."

"I'm serious." You suddenly can't stop laughing at Todd's excitement, he pushing the camera into Scott's hands so he can take out his phone and get on Twitter. "And on that note," you say when you see the app open up, "I'm gonna go. I don't like seeing people hear me sing for the first time. It's awkward."

"If you ever need anything, we're right across the street," Scott says.

"Ditto. My door is always open," you return.

Telling Scott and Todd your door was always open was probably a mistake, but after the first week of Todd walking in without so much as a head's up, it quickly became the norm. Todd usually showed up, asked about your day, and then spent the rest of the time laying with Rocko. Scott, however, greeted Rocko and then spent the rest of his time with you talking about music.

And within that week, they learned you were a great cook, but couldn't bake to save your life, and unfortunately found out you walked around the house semi-nude. For some reason you were more embarrassed about Scott seeing you in a t-shirt and underwear than Todd, and then quickly realized it wasn't really a big deal to them. Well at least not to Todd, but he still took pleasure in teasing you and giggling like a little girl when Scott would get defensive on your behalf.

And after the boys realized your house was a no-pants zone more often than not, Todd found it okay to strip down to his briefs when he needed a nap, Scott sometimes doing the same after sheepishly smiling and cuddling up with Rocko.

          - X - X - X - X - X -

You're unloading box after box in your driveway, your fan mail having arrived at your new address. Several of the boxes are rather heavy and you're unsure about how exactly you're going to get them inside, but a voice shouting from across the street makes you sigh in relief.

"Need some help?"

You turn around, shielding the sun from your eyes, and wave over Scott. "Yes, please!"

Scott jogs across the street, Todd following at a slower place with three other guys. But from binge watching numerous Youtube videos, you realize it's David, Zane, and Heath.

When Scott gets a glimpse at all the boxes up close, he grins. "Went a bit crazy shopping online, did you?"

"No." You huff a laugh. "It's mail from all my subscribers."

"Mail?" Todd asks, slinging an arm around your shoulders in greeting and pulling you into his side. "Does that mean you're going to make an unboxing video soon?"

"Yeah. Today."

"Sweet. I'm sticking around for that." You shrug, chuckling as Scott rolls his eyes. "By the way, meet our other friends. This is David, Heath, and Zane. Boys, this is Y/N."

"Oh hey! You're the singer," David muses, camera in hand. "Is this cool?" He then quickly asks, gesturing to his camera. "You're really good, by the way."

"Thank you and yes." You blush and Todd pinches your cheeks as he mockingly coos at you. He pinches a little too hard and you retaliate by shoving him off of you and punching him as his friends laugh. Scott then brings you into his side when Todd starts poking at you and you practically melt against him. "I've recently starting watching your guys' videos and can I just say that y'all are fuckin' wild?! Holy shit!"

"Ooh, girl," Heath then says. "That cover you did on Sam Smith's Stay With Me gave me the chills. My girlfriend Mariah is in love with your voice."

"I really liked Bad Liar by Imagine Dragons," Todd grins.

You laugh. "You guys really did go through my videos, huh."

"Duh." David giggles. "Scott and Todd couldn't shut up about you, so we had to look you up."

"Oh god."

"Mhm," Zane hums, cracking up a moment later when he can't take himself seriously. "Is it true our boys walked in on you in your underwear?"

"Jesus Christ. Did you guys really have to tell them that?"

Scott squeezes your shoulders. "Don't blame me. That was all Toddy."

Rolling your eyes, you let the smile continue to grace your lips to let the guys know you're not really upset about it. "To be fair, it was a Calvin Klein sports bra and boy short underwear. I also had a flannel shirt on, but it was left unbuttoned, and I never know when Todd is just going to barge in. It really wasn't that big of a deal. I was more startled than anything else."

"So let me get this straight," Zane says, glancing between you and Todd. "Todd saw you practically naked and he didn't try to hump you?"

You snort and then shake your head. "Nope."

"Baby!" Heath then coos at Todd, he and Zane sandwiching their friend in a hug. "You're growing up." You all laugh, David capturing it all on his camera.

"Well if you four are done," Scott says, "Y/N needed our help. Let's get this inside for her."

David's the only one who doesn't help, he being reluctant to put down his camera. You understand, even if his friends give him grief for it. "By the way, guys, don't mind Rocko. He's a gentle giant."

"Rocko?" Heath wonders.

David opens the door for all of you, he cursing quite loudly as Rocko lets out the deepest woof in his arsenal. You, Scott, and Todd all laugh.

"Rocko, my man." Todd enters, setting down his box before being distracted by your dog.

"I swear Todd only visits to eat my food or play with Rocko," you say.

When the guys all notice your set up in the living room and find out you do unboxing videos of your fan mail, they all ask to stick around. You don't mind the company, so you let them, even letting David continue to video for some content he can use in his own vlog.

Once everyone is settled, it's only you, Scott, and Zane in the actual shot. Heath and David sit off the sides, but close enough to be caught in frame should they want to be, and Todd sits behind the camera as he lounges with Rocko who's resting his head on the boy.

Your fan mail is nothing spectacular, the items ranging from band tees to posters to fan art of you and Rocko. And after each box is opened, you make sure to thank the person who sent it by giving them a shout-out. There are also boxes of snacks, which Heath and Zane seem really excited for, and you treat them to your favorites. There are some specialty candy that's only made in Texas that you make the boys all eat, but only Scott seems fond of the cherry flavored gummies that are covered in chili powder. The other snacks from Texas come from a store named Buc-ee's, and David, Heath, and Zane become quite fond of the Beaver Nuggets.

More mail is opened and you laugh as you open several packages just meant for Rocko- toys, treats, and even shirts made specifically for your Great Dane.

"We are seriously going to have to plan a trip to Texas just for Beaver Nuggets," David says, popping yet another caramel-coated, crunchy puff corn into his mouth.

"See. They're good, right?"

"Mhm." He eats a few more before asking, "So, Y/N, what's the weirdest thing you've ever received?"

You immediately blush and the guys all perk up. "Oh this is gonna be good," Todd muses.

"Fuck you." The guys all laugh and you sigh when you realize they're awaiting an answer. "Just.. hold on." You shoot a quick outro clip, thanking everyone for the mail and that you'd have a new song cover coming soon. Just as you're saying goodbye, the boys all squeeze in and wave at the camera. Laughing, you tell Todd to cut the camera off and then tell them what they want to hear. "So the weirdest thing I received was a box full of lingerie and sex toys."

"WHAT?!" Heath nearly shouts, Zane giggling at his side.

"And what's weird is that guy had my size down perfectly. Like if I had tried the lingerie on, it'd have fit."

Scott quirks an eyebrow at you. "If?"

"Yeah. There we no tags on the underwear and all the sex toys were out of their packaging. It was super sketchy!"

The guys all laugh at your grossed out expression. David leans forward, camera nearly in your face. "Now I think the question is, is would you have kept the sex toys had they been in their proper packaging?"

The room goes oddly silent. "Well.."

"You hesitated!" Todd screams, cackling.

You grab a pillow, chunking it at him. "A girl has her needs, you dick! But still, I don't know. Sex toys from a fan is still super weird."

"Baby," Heath coos, "lingerie from a fan is weird. Sex toys is crossing a line."

You nod in agreement and eventually get up to head to the kitchen. The boys all follow as you start bringing out food to eat, and Zane's whistle of appreciation catches your attention.

He's looking out into the back yard, David and Heath by his side. "No offense," Zane starts, "but how are you affording a place like this?"

You chuckle as you scoop some ice cream into a bowl. "It's been in the family for quite a while. I actually inherited it last month when my grandfather passed." The guys go quiet and you glance at them, smiling as they suddenly seem uneasy. "It's okay. My grandfather lived here up until his wife passed away. He moved closer to his family where he then proceeded to lose both his children. When my mom died, I was his only grandchild who continued to have anything to do with him and even moved him in with me when he got sick. I didn't even know this place existed until the reading of the will where he left me everything- this house and his money."

"Damn. I bet everyone else was pissed," Heath says.

"Yep. Hence the reason I'm here now. I got tired of listening to them belittle me, so I packed up myself and Rocko, and here we are."

"Well they sound like assholes," David tells you. "And I, for one, am glad you're here. Scotty is too."

"Dude."

Scott's sudden look of disbelief at his friend sends you into a bout of laughter, you holding your hands up when he nudges you in retaliation. Scott purses his lips to keep from laughing and you quickly wink at him before picking up your bowl of ice cream and moving on.

"Don't pretend I can't hear you," you say while hip checking Zane out of the doorway from where he was muttering something to Todd. "I saw the dry ice video. You guys are not fucking up my pool."

"No, but Y/N, just hear us out..!"

Weeks soon turned into months and you can't believe how much Scott and Todd have changed your life. Scott was a little tamer than Todd, which is probably why you were more drawn to him, but the boys were still wild. You had thought you kept the teeny tiny crush you developed on Scott under wraps pretty good, but when you were eventually introduced to the rest of their friends, Todd made sure the guys knew you were off limits less they wanted to step on Scott's toes. And because you were clearly holding out for their friend.

The girls were just stoked to have another female in the group, and you found yourself being asked on shopping trips and to attend hang out sessions more times than you ever were asked back in your hometown.

You went out with the entire group a total of two times when Scott asked you and you found they were just as crazy as they were in their videos. The first time you kept yourself limited to two drinks in order not to get out of hand, but the second time you were encouraged to let loose. Needless to say, your new friends saw you being a hot mess and you knew you'd never live it down. You had become Zane's favorite drinking buddy, right next to Heath.

But tonight is a night of peace and quiet, you staying in with Rocko and quietly celebrating your birthdays. And since you're not that fond of cake, you had found a bakery that was dedicated to making cakes for pets and ordered one for Rocko. Then once the sun has gone down, you get the cake out of the refrigerator and place four sparklers around the cake. You quickly tug a party hat on over your head and manage to get one on Rocko without him pawing it off, and then light the sparklers before grabbing a bottle of wine in your other hand. After quickly posing for a picture, you blow out the sparklers, take them out, and let Rocko devour his cake.

Once you've got yourself a glass of wine poured and have made yourself comfortable on the couch with some of your favorite movies queued up, you post the picture to your Instagram with the caption: Happy birthday to us! For the last four years, I've been honored to share my birthday with Rocko. All I need for this special day is the love of my fur baby.

Along with the picture of you and Rocko, and his cake, you post another picture with it that's of Rocko laying his head on your lap. After posting, you set your phone aside and settle in to watch movies.

           - X - X - X - X - X -

You're in the middle of Jeepers Creepers when your doorbell rings, you startling and then shushing Rocko when you startled him as well. Pressing pause on your movie, you get up to go answer the door. And when you swing it open, you're met with Scott's beaming smile and two cupcakes in hand- one cupcake with a lit candle shoved in it and the other with a dog treat shoved in it.

"Scotty," you chuckle, immediately melting and leaning bashfully against your door.

"Happy birthday, Y/N." He then leans his head in through the doorway, saying, "Happy birthday, Rocko!", to which Rocko woofs in response.

"What are you doing? I thought you were filming at David's tonight?"

"My bit was over with about ten minutes after I had gotten there," he says. "Now come on. Make a wish and blow out your candle."

You can't stop smiling, but you do as you're told. You stare at the flickering flame, make a wish, and then blow it out. Scott mock cheers. "Thank you. I've got beer in the fridge and Jeepers Creepers on TV if you want to stick around."

"Sounds like a plan."

After gesturing him inside, you huff a quiet laugh as he readily kicks off his shoes. As you head for the kitchen, you hear him call out to Rocko and feed your dog his own treat. You then return with a beer for Scott and another glass of wine for yourself, and take a seat on the other side of Rocko since he had snuggled up to Scott himself.

Ten minutes into the movie, you can't help but look at Scott again. He meets your gaze and grins, light from the TV reflecting off his nose ring. "I'm really glad you came, Scotty."

"Yeah? Me too."

Nearing the end of Jeepers Creepers 2, you can't help but take a quick picture of Scott and Rocko as they sleep on the couch. You have no idea how Scott is able to take so much of Rocko's weight on his arm, but he does and he looks quite adorable.

The picture gets posted straight away with the caption: I take back my earlier statement. All I need on this special day are my two favorite boys [heart eyes emoji] #WeakInTheKnees

You're floating in the middle of your pool, Rocko lounging on his own float not too far away as music fills the back yard from a portable speaker sitting on a nearby table. Your hands lazily sweep through the water at your sides to keep your float moving, and your eyes flutter open at the sound of a cat-calling whistle.

David stands at the edge of your pool, camera in hand and pointed directly at you with Jeff and Todd at his sides. Raising your hand, you flip off David's camera and then laugh when you hear Jeff say, "Man, Nerf is never allowed here. He'd be so jealous of Rocko's life."

"One of these days, Wittek, I'm gonna kidnap your dog and hold him hostage for a couple days. He ain't ever gonna wanna go back home to you."

"Keep dreaming, Y/L/N."

Todd suddenly whoops as he strips off his shirt, jumping into the pool a moment later. David laughs and when Todd doesn't immediately resurface, dread fills your stomach. David is still giggling and before you can say anything, you're yelping as your float is upended and you're rolling into the water.

Resurfacing and spluttering on water, you splash Todd's laughing face. "You're a dick, Toddy."

"You love me."

"Fuck off."

"Well not as much as you love Scotty."

David and Jeff laugh, and you splash him again. "Will you stop saying I'm in love with him?"

"Why? It's true. You're both just too goddamn oblivious to notice it."

"Oh I notice it," you say as you continue to tread water. "We're just- we can't escape the tip-toeing stage."

"Well escape it," Jeff says. "The sexual tension is killing us."

"God I hate you guys sometimes." Swimming over to the edge of the pool, you accept Jeff's helping hand. Then sitting on the ledge and accepting the towel David passes over, you ask, "So what's up?"

"Scotty's birthday is coming up. We need ideas," Todd says. He swims over, pulling himself out of the water and sitting next to you.

"Well I would offer up my pool, but I've seen how out of hand your parties tend to get. I don't want you to break my house," you say, chuckling.

David opens his mouth to deny the statement, but then shrugs and giggles. "Yeah."

You take a moment to think about it, clicking your tongue on the roof of your mouth. "What are you guys doing for music?"

"Not sure yet. Shouldn't be too hard to find a decent DJ."

"I think I might know someone. Someone pass me my phone." Jeff looks around until he spots it, grabbing it and giving it to you. You bring up your text messages, shooting off a series of texts back to back. "I'm not sure they'll agree, but if they do-"

"Who's they?" David asks.

"Some friends I knew from before they blew up," you say. Your phone dings and you read the texts coming through, smiling. "So my friends are actually in town for a few weeks. They're down to DJ and perform a bit of live music if you want them."

"Well who are they?" Todd wonders.

"If I tell you, not a word of this to anyone. Clear?" All three boys nod. "I know them as Alex and Drew, but they're more famously known as the Chainsmokers."

"Shut the fuck up," David immediately blurts. Todd and Jeff laugh. "Are you serious right now?"

"Yeah." You pull up the texts, showing them to your friends. "They're down to party. They like to surprise people so they'll probably wear masks or something and play some remixes. Then when things really get going, they'll go live."

"Holy shit." Todd is still laughing. "This party is gonna be dope!"

"Now I'm kind of jealous," Jeff chuckles. "Why couldn't you be my neighbor first?"

You scoop up some water in your hand and fling it over your shoulder. "Shut up." Then looking back at David and Todd, you say, "They'll need a stage to set up their shit. Is that do-able?"

"Uh yeah!" David nods.

"Cool. I'll help you plan some more later, but now I need some ideas. What is a good birthday present?"

"Sex."

"David!" Todd and Jeff laugh, and you attempt to splash water at David. He easily sidesteps it. "I'm serious"

Todd smiles. "Honestly? Sing for him. You know he's been wanting to hear you sing live instead of watching your videos."

"Ugh. I rather seduce him." David high fives you and you laugh directly into his camera. "If you put that in the vlog, I'm gonna drown you, Dobrik."

A week and a half later, it's Scott's birthday. Todd has managed to keep him busy all day, but not after you walked across the street to deliver him a birthday cupcake. Scott had beamed when he saw you, and then hugged you and pressed a kiss to your temple as Todd cooed from around the corner.

You had then proceeded to set up all day, laughing at everyone's reactions when Alex and Drew showed up to set up their area with turntables, lights, fog machines, and a few confetti cannons. You only expected some lights and music, so you thanked them profusely for going all out to which they assured you only the best for the guy who apparently held a special place in your heart. You had blushed that they picked up on that and then sighed when David, Natalie, and Zane overheard and continued to tease you throughout the entire day.

You got ready with all the girls at David's and then arrived at the small warehouse where the party was to take place. Alex and Drew wore light-up masks to conceal their identity until later in the party, and the guests started to show up by the carload.

Scott's started texting you about ten minutes ago, skeptical of Todd's motives and vague answers of where they were driving to. You had anticipated that, so you took a few selfies at your house and at David's beforehand to send to him so he wouldn't suspect you were in on anything. It worked.

You get anxious when you realize Scott and Todd have finally arrived, and the whole crowd of guests go silent. As planned, Todd enters first because there was no way Scott was going to when Todd didn't answer his questions, so it's only after Todd ducks out of the way do the lights flick on and everyone shouts Surprise!

Confetti rains down, and horns and sirens blare. Scott is beaming, hugging all his friends who are the front of the group. When he gets to you, he points an accusing finger in your face before wrapping you up in a hug. You laugh and squeeze your arms around his waist until he lets you go.

You're about to hang back as everyone crowds him, but he grabs your hand and the smile he flashes you has your stomach turning. He squeezes your hand and tugs you closer to his side, and you get the feeling that he doesn't want you to wander off too far from him.

The music is a hit with the crowd, as you expected, and Scott seems to be having a good time. The alcohol is flowing, David is directing bits here and there for the vlog, and everyone is having a good time on the dance floor. But soon enough a cake is being wheeled out and the entire crowd is singing happy birthday. Scott is bashful through the whole thing, he blowing out the candles and dodging the first handful of cake that Todd attempts to smash in his face.

"Alright, alright, alright," Alex says from behind his mask. "You guys throw an insane party, but let's kick things up a notch." The crowd cheers as horns blare over the speakers, but you can see the confusion in numerous faces. The masks finally come off and the crowd erupts louder. Scott's eyes widen and he looks at you in surprise. "We are the Chainsmokers and thank you guys for coming out to Scotty's birthday bash."

The music restarts, fog and confetti blasting as the music comes back on.

"Who the fuck got the Chainsmokers?" Scotty asks.

Everyone looks at you and you shrug. "They're friends of mine. I cashed in a favor."

Scott's eyes sparkle. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet, babe. The night is still young."

           - X - X - X - X - X -

The crowd is still hyped an hour after Alex and Drew had lifted off their masks, and then they're even more hyped when they realize the Chainsmokers are performing live. You, Scotty, David, Toddy, Natalie, Jeff, Heath, Zane, and Mariah are up on stage, and when the song switches to something a little slower Toddy looks at you expectantly. You wink, but make no move as your friend starts to perform the beginning of their hit song Closer. You can see Mariah lip syncing to Heath and you move to the beat next to Scotty, making him dance with you along to the lyrics. He obliges you, chuckling in amusement, and then pulling you closer to him when the beat drops.

Moments later, a microphone is pressed into your hand and you fight off a smirk when you see Scott's eyes widen as you bring the microphone up to your mouth, leading him towards the middle of the stage. "You look as good as the day I met you. I forgot just why I left you; I was insane."

Todd and Zane scream off to the side, holding onto one another. David records the entire thing and you can see your friends from the corner of your eyes as they get hyped up over you serenading Scotty.

"So baby pull me closer in the backseat of your Rover that I know you can't afford. Bite that tattoo on your shoulder." You mock bite at his shoulder and Scott laughs. "Pull the sheets right off the corner of the mattress that you stole from your roommate back in Boulder. We ain't ever getting older."

The beat drops and you're all set to start dancing, but Scotty surprises you. He grabs you by the back of your neck, reels you in, and presses his mouth against yours. Your friends, plus the crowd who you hardly even know, all erupt louder in excitement. Your left hand grasps onto his hip, the other still gripping tight to the microphone. Lights are flashing, confetti is raining down, and you pull back from Scotty to see his bright eyes shining down on you.

Heart pumping furiously, you bring the microphone back up to your mouth to sing, "We ain't ever getting older!" The beat drops yet again and this time it's you who brings him down into a kiss.

Scotty laughing against your mouth sends you into a fit of giggles, and when you eventually pull apart because of all the jostling your friends are doing, he keeps you close enough to mutter, "Best birthday ever," in your ear.

[conduitandconjurer]

(So if you ever wanted to learn how Klaus would be as a parent, please enjoy this snippet from a Discord rp with the OC Ana, written by @blackmxgickwoman​ !!!! )

Diego Owns My Soul  🗡🗡11/24/2020

She hates this new school. The teachers are boring. The kids are rude. And frankly, Ana would rather be anywhere but there. It's not hard to get out. Permission to go to the bathroom. Phase. Out the wall, off to wherever. Today, she's snagged some snacks from a convenience store and found her way to  the local library where she can manage to learn things she's actually interested in. All she has to do is get back to school on time and no one will know. Unfortunately for her, someone's noticed and called her father to let him know that...Ana's disappeared from school. Again.

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Klaus ♥11/25/2020

Klaus is still getting used to having to answer the phone.  He's still getting used to accounting for anyone beyond himself, in a world in which he no longer has addiction to fall back upon as an armor, a numbing mechanism, a way to enforce boundaries he's never been granted.  He's still getting used to having a preteen daughter who needs him, but, he thinks, when the labyrinthine maze of his brain allows him to think in a linear fashion, he's not doing so badly.  This truancy thing, however....that's the bit he can't surmount. Yes, he can find Ana even when she phases, but he knows from experience that a too authoritarian parental hand only produces resentment and further rebellion.  So he hangs up his cell--furbished for him by Five, the only real father figure Klaus himself has ever had--sighs, drags his palms down his face, and emits the sort of sound that usually only comes out of a constipated goat. "Fuuuuuuuuuu-CK," he whisper-shrieks, stands and finds his Converse, and goes out into the RUDELY cold November afternoon toward his daughter's usual haunts.

Diego Owns My Soul  🗡🗡11/27/2020

The library is luckily not as busy as normal. Ana prefers it that way. Quiet, empty....it's like her own little world. Tucked away in probably the least visited corner of the library, she's tucked in a dark space reading through medieval building methods, eating hot cheetos and at peace. Every so often, she glances at the clock to check the time and peeps around to make sure no one's coming. It's during one of those times that she spots him coming up the stairs.  "Shit...." she whispers under her breath quickly gathering her stuff and scurrying down an aisle opposite his direction. She's just got to keep away from her father and get to the door and she'll have plenty of time to get away. She can do that. Easy. Right?

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Klaus ♥11/30/2020

Klaus's whole lovely fey face scrunches up in to an expression of utter consternation.  "ANA!" he scream-whispers, stops and stomps a Converse-clad food. "ANA. Shit...."  But he didn't spend every year of his life from 17 on in the streets and in various drug dens without learning how to run very quickly and very erratically.  "Scuse me, sorry, nice reading choice...pardon.....scuse me--!" he apologizes profusely while weaving through the stacks and taking a shortcut outside and up the fire escape. "OH, you little SHIT!" he hisses as he books it toward where she ran.

Diego Owns My Soul  🗡🗡11/30/2020

She hears the commotion rather than sees it and doesn’t let up. She does have the advantage that she can run through the bookshelves and takes advantage of that before taking off down the stairs and out the front.  Okay, maybe she shouldn’t have ran. Now that she’s outside and thinking, she’s starting to realize that might not have been the best option. But she doesn’t feel like getting in trouble yet or going back to school so....what else was she supposed to do. Looking around, she decides to run across the street to the drugstore. Maybe she can bide her time in there and he’ll leave. If she’s lucky.

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Klaus ♥Today at 4:34 PM

"I CAN STILL SEE YOU!" comes Klaus's exasperated cry, as he spins and gives chase back down the stairs. "HHAHHHH, fuck! And I do cardio, Jesus on a Pogostick!"

Panting, forced to yield simply to her younger age, he gives hot pursuit--and finds himself rolling across the dashboard of a car crossing the street. He hops off. "PLEASE! Go ahead, man, I CRAVE the favor!" he snaps at the bewildered driver, finishing it off with an "up your ass" gesture before limping on across the street.  He pauses, hip jutted out, and jiggles a leg while examining the row of shops. What would I do? he ponders, sort of grimly accepting that this is some karmic payback for shit he pulled at Ana's age.  Drugstore. Drugstore. . Candy, junk food, cigarettes.  Certain otc meds that offer a cheap high.  Useless trinkets that bring stupid levels of joy, like hair ties, magazines, and cheap nail polish.  Yep.  He hops in, on one foot. "Ana," he addresses the entire blinking, confused store, "I'm not gonna yell at you, or anything. Can we just t . . . talk? Sorry. Hi. No, no autographs. No, please. Daughter stuff. Scuse me."  He darts down an aisle. "Come on, honey, please. " He blinks at himself. While he's no stranger to giving affectionate terms and pet names, that "honey" slid out so naturally that it alarms him.  Paternal instinct? In MY psyche? More likely than you'd think....

Diego Owns My Soul  🗡🗡Today at 4:54 PM

Honestly, all of this has just been....too much for Ana. She hates that she's been forced to change her entire life. She hates her school. She hates all of this and she knows that Klaus is trying to look out for her. Knows he's trying to dad her but honestly....he's not that good at it and she doesn't need a parent. She can look out for herself. She can find for herself. SHe's good. She's fine. Settling in a corner, she pulls out the book she'd swiped to start reading when she hears his voice again. Well, shit.  Looking around, she spots the employees only door and knows that there's definitely a back door through there. All she has to do is get from one end to the other without him seeing her. At least, like this, she doesn't think he can actually catch her. She doesn't think he knows how to actually touch a ghost. She hopes he doesn't. Standing, she takes a moment to make sure the coast was clear and starts to sneak in the other direction hoping he doesn't notice her from wherever he is in the store.  Maybe it's time for her to just....say okay and face up. She'll have to get in trouble and he's not giving up on her. Sighing, she sneaks up behind him and crosses her arms. "I'm not going to school."

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Klaus ♥Today at 5:15 PM

"HOH, CHR...ist...!" He jumps a mile, thanks PTSD, and slowly pivots to face her.

"...yeah, I figured."  Yes, he's bad at it.  At consistency, and obligation.  But nobody tries harder to love someone in his orbit than Klaus, and hopefully that makes up for some of his failings.  "But that's not ......that's not a dealbreaker...for me, okay?"  He glances around, at the gathering crowd. God.  All through his childhood, there was always a gawking audience of two kinds: the ghosts, and the Academy's unbalanced, devoted fans.  Privacy, boundaries, they're unobtainable to him, and therefore, sacred. He pulls out his phone and texts her:  [Do you wanna go talk about this somewhere else?] 

[foramomentonly]

@spaceskam So, your Jealous Michael stream of consciousness fic was so good it inspired me. And then I got angsty. I humbly dedicate this to you since basically I’m just copying your brilliant style.

 If you are reading this and don’t know what I’m talking about do yourself a favor.

It’s not that Michael doesn’t like this new guy Forrest, per se. He doesn’t, but personal incompatibility is not the biggest issue. He’s not trying to be best friends with the guy. He just wants to go twenty minutes in his own damn town without seeing him. Is that really too freaking much to ask? And maybe also to not constantly find him hanging around Alex like a puppy on an invisible leash.

First, it’s Bean Me Up, where Michael stops in one early morning to pick up coffee and pastries with which to woo a justifiably still frosty Maria. There’s Alex, dressed for a run, nursing what Michael can only guess is a black coffee. And he’s with someone. Someone familiar. Someone with a really bad dye job and a very stupid cardigan. Seriously, this is small-town New Mexico, a place full of unironic cowboy hats, functional boots, and ugly plaid and turquoise everything. The only individuals with a real sense of style are Maria, with her boho patterns and bright colors and flowy pieces, and more recently Alex, with his military-fashion boots and dark, tapered jeans and that fucking leather jacket. At least he’s not wearing the jacket. But all this to say you can’t just throw on a dull, shapeless cardigan and dig up some boxed hair dye from Alex’s high school medicine cabinet and call it a look. But Alex doesn’t seem to mind. He hadn’t seemed to mind at the ranch when they first meet Forrest, either. When Forrest was two steps from getting on his knees if Alex so much as asked to borrow a pen and Alex pretended not to notice and Michael glowered at them both. And now Alex is smiling at something Forrest says and raising a perfect brow, and when he catches Michael’s eye he doesn’t hold his gaze. Michael grabs his order and stalks off, and of course, it’s Forrest who runs out to tell him he forgot to pay.

***

Bean Me Up is just the first time. A few weeks later he’s finishing up at the lab with Liz and Kyle, and Isobel is hanging around because she’s not working right now and she doesn’t have much else to do.

“All right,” Kyle says, “if we’re done, I’ve got to head out. I’m meeting Alex at the high school track.”

“What for?” Isobel asks.

“Cardio,” Kyle beams, and Michael rolls his eyes. Who gets that excited about a hamster wheel for adults?

“Can I join?” Isobel asks, and, oh right. Isobel does these days.

Kyle says, “…yes?” uncertainly and Isobel flutters her eyelashes at him like good answer. Liz announces she’s coming to “the ab parade” too, and Michael wonders if she’s been sampling her drawer wine already. But the whole gang is game, so he is, too. He’s a joiner.

They get to the track and Alex is stretching idly in one of those sporty bro get-ups—shorts, athletic shoes, and the tee-shirt that’s been cut into an extremely baggy tank top that has more functionality as a wind tunnel than actual clothing. He looks relaxed and tan, and he has a prosthetic Michael hasn’t seen before; he guesses it’s specifically for athletics. He’s objectively admiring the view when Alex grins at someone to his left and Michael looks over and it’s fucking Forrest in a college tee-shirt and a fucking sweatband. He points to their group and Alex turns, smiling uncertainly.

“Do we have an audience?” he asks.

“Isobel asked to join us. I don’t know what these two are doing,” Kyle explains, holding his hand out to Forrest like it’s the most natural thing in the world for Alex to have company that isn’t one of them or dressed in army fatigues and letting him order them around. “Good to see you again, man. You running with us?”

Forrest grips Kyle’s hand, and these two fuckers would be BFFs.

“Yeah, if it’s cool with you,” he says, “I’ve been meaning to get more active-”

“Been pretty active lately,” Alex murmurs, smirking, and Michael literally gags. Alex shoots him a dark look.

“-and Alex suggested a run would be a good place to start.”

Kyle is spouting off fitness theories or whatever to Forrest and Isobel, and Liz wanders toward the bleachers, leaving Alex and Michael effectively alone.

“You got a problem, Guerin?” Alex asks, tone forced casual.

“You pick up a boyfriend since I saw you last, private?” he replies.

Alex, little shit that he is, has the audacity to laugh.

“No,” he says, “but I’ll be sure to update my Facebook status for you the second I do.” 

***

That’s the thing, too. Alex won’t admit he’s dating this tragic librarian loser. He doesn’t say anything to anyone. He brings F-word to The Pony where they sit on stools at the bar facing each other and practically fellating their bottlenecks from what Michael can tell from over the pool table, where he’s pretending to line up a shot; Alex has apparently introduced him to all their friends and Arturo, if their biweekly lunches at the Crashdown are any indication; and they text non-stop, Alex’s phone constantly buzzing in the pocket of his fatigues or the cupholder of the Jeep where he stores it while driving them to the library or the Project Shephard bunker, or dropping Michael off at the Airstream. 

“Want me to check that for you?” Michael asks when it buzzes three times in a row during a food run for what they now call the Secret Science Lab, thanks to Cam’s big mouth and Liz’s continuing mortification.

“No,” Alex says easily, “it’s Forrest. It’s unrelated.”

“Could be an emergency,” Michael goads, “what if he needs you to help him touch up his roots? ”

Alex glares.

“Spoiler alert: He needs you to help him touch up his roots,” Michael says in an exaggerated whisper.

“You could be a little less subtle, you know,” Alex says.

“What?”

“This whole ‘jealous ex’ thing,” he says, jaw clenched. “It’s getting old.”

“We’re not exes,” Michael says, “we’re bros. And I’m just looking out for you. Bro.”

Alex rolls his eyes.

“Well, look somewhere else. I’m good.”

Michael grits his teeth, tries to forget that they once told each other I don’t look away and that Alex absolutely remembers.

***

It officially becomes too fucking much when Forrest is at his house. Not the actual guy, though that would be bad enough, but his junk. Michael drops off some documents for Alex one night and asks to use the bathroom. Alex shrugs and steps aside to let him pass. Alex likes a neat space; he grew up in a military household with his fucking psychopath of a father and old habits die hard or sometimes not at all. So Michael notices immediately when there is just stuff lying around. Some folders scattered across the low coffee table; a glass on the side table still dripping condensation onto the wood; an ugly Forrest green sweater draped over the back of a chair in the kitchen. These things are very much not Alex’s, but there they are strewn around Alex’s space like half of a What’s Different About These Two Images puzzle come to life. 

Michael scoffs and says, “You know if I find his toothbrush in there I’m gonna use it to clean the toilet?”

Alex stiffens and his knuckles go white around the handle of his crutch.

“What the fuck is your problem?” he hisses, and Michael realizes too late that Alex is carrying all the markings of a crappy day in the rigid set of his shoulders, the clench of his jaw, and the way he leans heavily on his crutch as though he’s too proud to admit he would rather be resting. But they’ve been dancing around this massive, electric blue elephant between them for too long, and Michael isn’t going to back down now. Not his style.

“Oh, just that you apparently have a live-in boyfriend you didn’t bother to tell anyone about,” he says, lifting his shoulders in an exaggerated shrug. “No big deal.”

“So what if I do? Where are you parking your Airstream these days, Guerin?”

Michael avoids the question by pointing at the glass still sweating on the table and asking, “Be honest, did he jump out the back window when I knocked?”

“Why would he?” Alex spits. “He belongs here. You don’t.”

They both pause, their anger deflating at his words that hit a little too close to the core of what they definitely are not actually arguing about.

“You can’t just bring someone into our lives like it’s nothing, Alex,” Michael says, switching tactics.

“I would never tell him anything,” Alex answers, taking a hesitant step forward. “You know that. I would never.”

I would never tell.

I never look away.

I loved you. For a long time.

Michael hates the past tense. But the present sucks pretty hard right now, too. 

“Yeah, I know,” he mumbles and turns back toward the front door. “Think I’m just gonna hold it. Have a good night, Alex.”

“Guerin-”

“Tell Forrest I said hello.”

[srhlsx]

CHAPTER 5

master | ch.4 | ch. 6

Barely a few weeks into the school year, things were starting to pick up.

Pushing open the doors to the main gym on campus, your ears were met with the sound of balls being hit and sneakers squeaking against the wood flooring. There were multiple groups all across the gym space, all doing different sorts of drills from blocking to conditioning to passing. You hadn’t really paid much attention to volleyball over the years of being at Seijoh, you’d known a little bit when you would occasionally talk to the players in your year, but you didn’t realize how popular it had become to play since your focus had previously been on your ex playing basketball.

The sudden arrival of a group of girls caught the attention of many of the male players, some passes being dropped or a few stumbling as their feet tripped. You walked with a purpose across the gym floor, separating yourself from your club and probably disrupting a few drills but not too concerned since they had stopped anyways to blatantly stare at you. It wasn’t too surprising, you didn’t exactly practice for your dance club in the typical school PE uniform.

You consciously tugged down on the spandex shorts you were wearing to cover a little bit more skin as you approached the two adult men. They were talking to one another as they observed the drills happening in front of them, arms crossed and looking as intimidating as ever. You put on as sweet of a smile as you could manage, bowing to the two men in front of you as you addressed them. “Excuse me, Coach Irihata?” 

“Ah, yes. You must be (y/n)? From the dance club?” The older of the two men, having dark hair and being slightly shorter, turned to look at you with a closed-eye smile. He stood before you with one hand in the pocket of his track jacket, motioning with the other for his younger assistant coach to have the players stop what they were doing. “I believe your club sponsor messaged me about today?”

“Yes, sir.” You nodded, looking behind you and motioned for the rest of your club team to step forward towards you. 

The third years confidently strode up next to you, the second years following as well, while the few first years who made the cut scampered across the floor almost in fear as they looked around the gym with wide eyes. My god, at least act like you’ve been around boys before, you thought. You would have to talk to them about what kind of impression they were giving off.

“We have a competition coming up and need to practice on a floor similar to what the gym we will be in is like,” You explained after turning back to the man before you, your hands clasped behind your back. “We shouldn’t be more than thirty minutes, if you could spare the space.”

You really tried your hardest to make it seem like you were asking the world of them, hoping a little bit of sweet talking would go a long way.

The older man nodded, motioning around at the players who were slowly starting to gather around. You caught sight of Oikawa and Iwaizumi, the latter looking annoyed as ever as Oikawa made an obnoxious effort to wave to you. Coach Irihata spoke up as the captain of his team came up to stand next to you, “Well, of course I don’t see why we can’t spare some time in our gym to the lovely girlfriend of our captain?”

“We only need a little bit of space, sir.” You clarified, not really intending to take over their space entirely. 

“Nonsense,” Irihata shook his head, turning to Oikawa with a stern expression. “I believe a little cardio conditioning would be a good use of this time?”

You saw Oikawa’s face harden just slightly, one of his eyes twitching in annoyance at the thought of what his coach was asking them to do. He answered with a clenched jaw and a forced happiness, “Yes sir, a great idea!”

When Coach Irihata turned away to talk with his assistant, Oikawa turned to you with a ferocious look on his face. “You are going to make everyone hate me, (y/n).”

You smiled and reached up to pat his cheek with an overly sweet smile on your face, “Thanks so much for letting us take your gym for a little bit, baby.” You cooed loudly enough for most of his team to hear, pinching his cheek a little harder than necessary. His pride made him stop himself from swatting you away.

You looked at the rest of your team and motioned for them to go forward and get ready for the short practice you were allowed. You could hear some of the boys who had gathered around start to grumble, knowing that if they were going to have to leave the gym they were probably going for a run. 

You had continued to talk with Oikawa, teasing him about one thing or another, when a group of volleyball players had gathered a few meters away. While the attention of the couple was on one another, they took the opportunity to gape at the new addition to their captain’s life. How could they not?

There you stood, sculpted legs looking smooth and bare as the only thing that covered them were a few inches of spandex that didn’t leave much to the imagination. You had a baggy zip-up hoodie on and were fiddling with the zipper, one side had slipped off your shoulder exposing the thin strap of your stylish sport top and Oikawa moved to tug it back up and fix it for you. That made you smile and thank him.

“Damn,” One volleyball player said, “That guy really gets anything he wants, huh?”

“You think she’s as flexible as she looks?” A second asked.

“Of course she is,” A third mumbled to his teammates, eyes looking up and down your body from afar. He started to motion with his hands in a crude manner. “Imagine puttin’ her legs-”

A clearing of someone’s throat made the three second years stop, their breath collectively catching in their chests as one of them halted the perverted motions of his hands. Turning to look, they were met with the hard and aggressive gaze of their third year vice captain. His eyes looked like they were ablaze, daring them to continue their vulgar conversation.

“I suggest you focus more on practice,” He said, a warning tone to his voice as he spoke, he was doing what he could to control the sudden and surprising feeling of anger. “Rather than making comments about an upperclassman and your captain’s girlfriend.”

The three boys visibly gulped, pushing at one another to move away from Iwaizumi and towards the doors where their outside shoes and the rest of the team were gathered.

You heard a slight commotion from behind you, turning to look along with Oikawa and seeing a group of younger boys scamper away from Iwaizumi. They only briefly glanced back at you, eyes bugging out when they saw you were watching them. You looked at Iwaizumi who was only glaring at them, the tip of his ears a very light shade of red.

“Anyway, sweetness.” Oikawa sang, turning back to you as he walked backwards and away. “Have fun with your dancing, maybe later I can get an encore performance~”

“Eat shit, Tooru.” You laughed before calling out to the rest of the team, wiggling your fingers and a mocking gesture at the team behind Oikawa. “Enjoy your run, boys~ Thanks again!”

- - - - -

You had originally thought thirty minutes was going to be enough time for your team to run through each of the routines at least a few times and it pretty much was. You had sent the rest of the girls back to the club studio and it was now just you, Ichika, and a first year named Kiko. She was a cute girl who was very dedicated to dance, you remembered her vaguely from your middle school days.

“Okay,” You started, catching your breath a little bit as you motioned for her to get into the routine’s starting position again. She was going to be performing the beginning solo of the group dance at your competition coming up. She was really the only girl other than the third years you trusted to be skilled and committed enough at this point. “When it’s just you it’s a lot easier to get off tempo because there isn’t anyone else to compare with.”

She nodded over at you, her hair was tied back in a tight bun giving her a severe look. Her dark hair contrasted with her light skin, and her petite body made her look exactly like what you’d expect a dancer to be. She was dedicated, a good listener, and she tried hard - you couldn’t ask for much else.

“So, with that in mind,” You said, nodding to Ichika who was standing off to the side with her phone in her hand, clicking a few times to make the music start. “The music is going to seem a fuck-ton louder.”

With perfect timing, the music you’d picked out for the performance blasted through the gym speakers, seeming louder than when you’d practiced with your whole club. The two of you jumped into the sequence of movements, your movements a little more confident than hers but still matching perfectly. You twisted, jumped, kicked your legs, and spun on your toes. When the choreography was done, you stood with your hands on your hips, breathing heavily to fill your lungs with much needed air.

“I still feel” Kiko breathed, looking at you with her big eyes. “Like I’m off.”

“I’d tell you if you were.” You shrugged, not sure you agreed with her but understanding her wanting to be perfect. “We’ve got time, why don’t you come to my place this weekend and we can keep practicing?”

She nodded and followed as you motioned for her and Ichika to head towards the door where the volleyball team was gathering again. They were covered in sweat and looking pretty beat from the exercise they had performed outside. 

You caught Oikawa and Iwaizumi, neither looking quite as winded as the rest of their teammates. You waved as you left the gym, letting them know you’d meet up with them later.

“Uh h-hi Kiko,” A very tall first year member of the volleyball team greeted your dance partner with a great deal of enthusiasm. He had dark hair that definitely added to his height and just the smallest of blushes was apparent on his cheeks. Kiko waved shyly at him, looking down at her feet when she saw that you were watching her. You teased her with a jab of your elbow as you continued walking past the team.

[deathonyourtongue]

Aight would you rather be Henry's workout buddy or Pablo's? and whyyyyy 👀(Like actual workout not like workout in a bed lmao)

You. Are. Evil. But I still love youuuu.

Listen, let’s just get this out of the way right now. Both of them would murder me in the gym, ‘cause they go WAAAAAY harder than I do. That being said, I have dumbass strength, so I’d do my best to keep up, even if means I’m not getting out of bed the next day without a walker. 

I think workout-wise, they’re probably on pretty similar training programs. Lift heavy, focus on the compound lifts, accessory work on off days, and cardio for fight-scene stamina, if nothing else. The last thing you want is your action hero out of breath after five minutes, you know what I’m saying?

CARDIO

I personally HATE running, like with the fire of a thousand suns, so already Henry’s running at a loss (see what I did there?). I’d rather do the stair machine, the rower, the bike, or jump rope for ages instead of actually getting on the road/treadmill. So unless I’m getting dragged out the door by a hot dude, it’s not happening, and that goes for real life as much as this alternate reality where I work out with dudes that look like those two. ;P

I haven’t seen Pablo run until he started training for Halo earlier this year, and even then, it seems like he’s running drills and sprints. Given he’s had both knees tear while shooting, it’s probably for the best he not go for distance and instead focus on power and speed. 

Henry runs like a damn sled dog and I admire the hell out of him for it, but all I can think about when I think of long-distance running is the amount of chafing I’ll have to deal with later, sooooo no. 

POINTS: Pablo - 1 Henry - 0

WEIGHTS

Those of you that know me, know I love being in the rack more than I love most anything else in my life. I MISS IT SO MUCH and I’m both excited and terrified to go back. Before all the shit hit the fan, I’d just reached a PR of a 205 lbs / 92 kg deadlift and I was on top of the world. I NEEDS THE RACK BACK!!!!

Lifting-wise, Pablo’s form is BEAUTIFUL. He’s effortless and I’d kill to have his posture (the fact that he’s THAT tall and isn’t hunched over just speaks to how well he’s been trained over the years and how meticulous he is with his body positioning).

Henry and I need to have a serious talk about his deadlift. MY neck hurt watching him pull, but I will say this until I’m blue in the face: It’s NOT HIS FAULT. Whoever trained him did a piss-poor job correcting his form, and it resulted in this:

Compare it to Pablo’s lift (who appears to be lifting 315 lbs / 142 kgs in that top gif (he might have 10′s on the end, but I can’t tell because I make potato gifs). Looks like Henry’s lifting less, but again I can’t tell ‘cause his plates are all weird and unmarked) and you’ll see the differences pretty clearly. 

Now, could it have just been a bad lift? Sure. But man, this ^^^? Hurts my soul.

He does however, lift barefoot, which I do as well, so at least we’re on the same page there (and that’s why you see my sneakers in every gym shot I’ve posted on here or IG).

It’s a tie on this one, ‘cause if I’m looking to fix stuff, I’d go lift with Pablo so I could learn from him. If I’m looking to just have a straight-up lifting sesh with someone who seems to have the same type of work flow I do? I’m going with Henry.

POINTS: Pablo - 1 Henry - 1

ACCESSORY WORK

I do accessory work every time I’m in the gym, because without it, I’d be in and out of there in ten minutes and wouldn’t see the same results as quickly. I SUCK at varying up my accessories, but the ones I do, get the job done. 

Pablo does accessory work that I one day hope to be able to do without dying. Things like this...

Whereas Henry does the stuff I do, which hurts soooo good and works really well. ;P

When it comes to accessories, right now? I’m staying in my comfort zone.

POINTS: Pablo - 0 Henry - 1

OTHER

Pablo does Yoga...

While Henry does BJJ...

I’d love to try BJJ, however, I worry about my uber-flexible ligaments letting me down. Yoga’s a bit more controlled for that, and I don’t run the risk of dislocating something because it got torqued the wrong way by someone else. :P

POINTS: Pablo - 1 Henry - 0

So, after all that long-winded mess...

Pablo - 3 Henry - 2

I’m going with our giant (but I’m dragging the Brit with, let’s be honest.)

[aqvarius]

[WALKTHROUGH + REVIEW + CG] Romance MD: Munechika Takado

Expectations:

To be honest I wasn’t super excited when I saw the trailer for Romance MD. I thought it was just going to be another teacher/student romance with the basic Voltage storylines where one or two events would get closer and they’d fall in love etc.). That being said, I was actually quite interested in most of the potential LIs even though they do seem quite conventional for the standard Voltage lineup (oresama, kuudere, darudere/4D, flirty, jokey but actually hardcore ossan). I do also like the character designs. The one I was most interested in was Kyogoku because I can’t place his type. He’s been described as a prodigy, not too empathetic, feisty, cute, has a chilly side, tricky, coy, shady, obsessed with Kasumi. So I think he’s actually one of those devil with an angel face types? Cute on the surface but actually a bit shady? Maybe it’s because of his character design but he just reminds me SO much of Shinonome from Her Love in the Force. I keep calling him Ayumu because of that and I think it would be interesting if they were actually similar because Ayumu is one of those characters that I think is quite unusual for Voltage games because he doesn’t completely fit into one of their usual archetypes.

Anyway, this is not about Sen. This is about Takado. I knew he was the title character for Romance MD but I still had all of my fingers crossed that we would get someone else’s route first like Finally in Love Again had Aki as the first release rather than Momoi (I think?). And some other games had title characters that weren’t the usual type (like Issei from Kiss of Revenge and Masaomi from Serendipity Next Door). I also think that the only characters released so far are Takado and Hosho (I’ve searched and searched to get CGs or ameblo posts about the other guys but to no avail). So I kinda hoped they would give us Hosho first LOL or maybe just surprise us all and give us Kasumi but alas. 

Finally, my expectations going in were that Takado was going to be the quintessential oresama type (like Eisuke/Leon) because he has that spiky brown hair look lol? I also thought the MC was going to be like the standard MC. What a fool I was…

Click below to read the full review, plus walkthrough and CGs PLUS THE ELUSIVE MC SPRITE.

Reactions:

My first reaction is that this MC (henceforth Dr. MC) is so annoying. She wouldn’t stop running her mouth, she was arrogant, she seemed a little inconsistent? The guys accuse her of being a journal junkie at the beginning and to be honest, they’re kind of right. She’s super nerdy to the point where it’s kind of over the top? Don’t get me wrong, nerds are great. I’m a researcher. I moved to a new city to study under my academic crush too. I get it. Sometimes other MCs are annoying because they’re too wholesome and earnest. This time, it got to the point where I was begging to have OG MC traits back. I almost cried with relief when I first saw her demonstrate empathy.

I think the thing that made me dislike her almost immediately was how clinically she originally described the ICU team. It sort of felt like Voltage was trying to push the ‘these guys are beautiful!’ and the ‘Dr. MC doesn’t give a fuck about real men’ points too hard and it sort of became contradictory, especially because the narrative is read through the player’s/MC’s perspective. So she had to explain how ‘objectively’ good looking they all are without gushing and thus it became this very clinical expression of their looks while also really pushing that opposing point of “but I don’t care around real men”. I think that it would have been fine for MC to appreciate how good looking they are but sort of have a ‘snap out of it’/’pull yourself together’ moment where she reminds herself what she’s here for. Like I think it’s fine and probably in fact more relatable to be able to acknowledge handsome men and be a bookworm/academically inclined and also enjoy 2D men lol. You don’t have to treat people like specimens MC 

(Just say he’s beautiful. We all know he is)

I get that they needed her to be special in some way so Matsunaga would hire her, but she could have gotten hired on talent alone. I don’t think they needed her to be all like “this kabedon does absolutely nothing to me”. Overall I think her being totally uninterested in dating doesn’t quite mesh from the perspective of the player. I’m assuming most of us play otome games because we’re interested in dating the characters or seeing them fall in love, right? The game tried to be meta and make fun of the shoujo manga/otoge tropes at least three times (e.g. kabedon, cooking for LI when they’re sick and getting close, wiping tears leading to a kiss) but honestly, I play these games to experience all that cheesy shit lol. So for me I didn’t think it was particularly clever to reference these tropes and play them off. The audience tends to play these games for these moments lmao? Right?

(I agree, Takado.)

The one thing that all Voltage MCs have, however, is persistence. And my God does Dr. MC have persistence in spades. I actually didn’t mind it too much but I think it’s because it was sort of turned into a bit of a joke so the humour kind of played a role in tamping down what might have otherwise been obnoxious (when she kept waking Takado up I was like omg just LET! HIM! SLEEP!). I do also like that Dr. MC is very competent. Her shortcomings don’t have anything to do with technical ability which is quite refreshing. In this game, Dr. MC is more just inexperienced and idealistic when it comes to the actual practice of medicine and its accompanying emotional (and otherwise) complications.

The thing that I feel is her biggest flaw is her arrogance. I know, right? A Voltage MC, arrogant?! It’s unthinkable!! Usually Voltage MCs are insecure, self-deprecating, self-doubting. At times they are competent enough, or have moments of inspiration that allow them to do well. This Dr. MC is clever, and she knows it. Unfortunately, just having read lots of journals does not a good doctor make. Luckily, she becomes more likable when she finally gets taken down a peg and actually starts listening to Takado. I feel like Voltage tried to switch up their MC personalities (as seen with Masquerade Kiss too) but I think they tried to make Dr. MC snarky and sassy but she just comes across as arrogant/rude a lot of the time, like have some respect for your seniors please. When it comes to backtalking MCs, I much prefer Ayumu’s or Toma’s (from Irresistible Mistakes) MC. But at least Dr. MC is not as awful as Luke Foster’s MC in Kissed by the Baddest Bidder. Luke’s MC is my least favourite of all time and I honestly think he needs to leave her.

Also! I think with the JP version, you can choose whether or not to have the MC sprite. In the Love 365 version, you aren’t given that choice but the elusive MC sprite does pop up randomly in one frame.

(Tbh I prefer it without the sprite bc her hair reminds me of 2015/2016 me lol)

Her interactions with the other doctors is quite enjoyable, particularly with Kyogoku and Hosho, although I have to admit they’re enjoyable because Kyogoku and Hosho are really fun. I especially enjoyed with Ekuni joined in and did like the little snippets of Kasumi time you get as well. I do wish there was more time spent in the Pen (with Kalmia!) but alas, you get what you can. Kyogoku seems nicer than I expected he would be (because I really thought he would be Ayumu 2.0 – maybe he will be in his own route, but he does come off nicer than that snarky devil Ayumu). Kasumi also seems less cold than I expected. Hosho and Matsunaga were basically how I thought they would be, and Ekuni too to some extent, although I wasn’t expecting Ekuni to be such a mum and give them custom drug cocktails to pump them full of nutrients lol. I want Ekuni (my future husband) route so badly. I’m going to end up with a whole folder of images of him with that internal dialogue board lol. I did enjoy some of her conversation with Sex Maniac/resident slut Hosho (when his route comes out I won’t forget that he went on a date with Sara from Cardio………..) as well but I feel like Dr. MC doesn’t react enough to be more interesting? I know I sound like a typical Voltage LI, you know when they’re always telling MC she’s interesting cause her face shows everything she’s thinking and they like her reactions? That me lmao. But when she does react, she overreacts. Like, she doesn’t react to intimate/sexual things but then she FLIPS OUT because Takado was AWOL for literally a day and she thinks he died. You know what, he wasn’t even AWOL, he was literally on his day off. Take a chill pill, Dr. MC - maybe Ekuni can whip up a special sedative blend for you.

Now, Takado… Takado is basically Kaga from Her Love in the Force as a doctor. Sadist, reputation as a murderer, relies on his intuition, has a violent tendency with MC, misunderstood but doesn’t care. His version of Kaga’s Iron Claw is hitting you on the back of the head, usually with a file. I really thought he was going to be an oresama type but he’s more of the rogue sadist type. I thought he was not that interesting until I finally got to chapter 17. Naturally he’s ~damaged~ lmao. But actually I enjoyed learning about his backstory. I expected him to be so bonesaw-happy because he hadn’t acted quickly enough in the past and it led to someone’s death that could have been prevented if he’d just taken their limb. The truth is actually quite a bit more complicated than that, so I did like that it wasn’t predictable. I won’t spoil his backstory but it was definitely an interesting take on the doctor-patient relationship and worked well to help Dr. MC overcome her naïveté. I will say that I feel like the number of amputations actually increased throughout the route lmao.

Speaking of HLITF, the route definitely took on an action spin that I wasn’t expecting. I was surprised that Romance MD is categorised in the Action section in Love 365 but I think the story ended up going in a direction that I’d expect from HLITF or MSB (or Metro PD? I haven’t played that though so idk) and it was quite thrilling and surprisingly dramatic. Also, as per usual, the gap moe is real with Takado. Voltage loves employing gap moe with their characters, but especially the oresama and stoic types.  

Additional note: Something I really hate about Love Choice is that a lot of the time the LI backstory is hidden in a heart scene and you can only find out the truth if you pay for it. However, the route reverts back to the main text so it seems like you (MC) know what’s happened even if you (the player) don’t.

The dynamic between Takado and Dr. MC actually ends up being quite fun even though sometimes I think Dr. MC is just being disrespectful. They bicker like an old married couple. It’s like what Kaga and MC would be like if she ever dared to speak up against him lol. Takado is like Kaga in that he expresses his love more through actions. Honestly I wouldn’t be able to pinpoint the moment he started to fall for Dr. MC even if you had a syringe of poison to my jugular. You basically only find out that he treats you differently because the other doctors have a grand old time teasing you about it. That being said, there are some nice scenes where you can spot Takado treating you specially if you squint a little. It’s fine that it’s not obvious; I think it would be out of character if he just confessed his feelings lol. Personally, I believe this is a marketing trick to get you to buy Takado PoV when it comes out.

The length of the stories (30 chapters) and the pacing did remind me of old school Voltage games which I liked. It was long enough to develop Takado, his backstory and have a plot with sufficient plot points. The length also gave the blooming relationship between Takado and Dr. MC enough time to mature without feeling too rushed. While I think this improves the story quality, it also really seems like a moneymaking ploy. That being said, at least they didn’t split the story up into two parts like HLITF 🙃.

I reread my old route reviews to remind myself how to review and I said that Goto’s route in My Sweet Bodyguard was not worth the £2.49 I spent on it. I can’t believe I only had to spend £2.49!! Regular routes in Love 365 are 400 coins which equates to £3.99 and I easily spent around £15+ on all the hearts needed for this lengthy LC route 😭. Obviously it would be even costlier if you needed to buy passes if you wanted to unlock chapters early. I didn’t keep track of how many hearts in total I spent but this ameblog says that you need 207 hearts to get all the heart scenes which translates to about £21 if you start with 0 hearts, which is honestly ridiculous. The same money could be spent on FIVE  main routes (or other 400 coin stories). Or FOUR full bundles (MS, epilogue, sequel, sequel epilogue) from Seduced in the Sleepless City (i.e. sixteen stories). Or THREE full bundles from Pirates in Love. Or basically every available route for Subaru, Goto, Ishigami or Kurosawa in MSB. 

So while you do get quite a lot of content, it is ridiculously expensive if you wanted Super Happy Ending. Don’t skip the heart scene in chapter 28 if you don’t want to miss a kiss scene. Chapter 7 “Apologize to Takado” doesn’t offer too much I believe. Chapter 22 “Ask for details” and 26 “Explain” options also don’t add too much imo. There are a total of 30 points available, so you can skip 5 points worth of heart scenes if you want SHE but don’t want to spend all those hearts.

You may like this route if you like rogue characters like Kaga and Shin from Pirates in Love. If you are really interested and are willing to pay, I suggest playing before 12/08 (12 August) to get the collector’s edition so at least it won’t feel like a waste of money. I really wish Voltage would get rid of Love Choice and just let us buy routes, but they likely never will because they probably earn so much more with LC compared to regular routes. The normal ending is good enough honestly, he actually confesses in NE and not in SHE, but in SHE you get a kiss scene and CG. I think ultimately it would be more worth saving up your hearts for another LI like Kyogoku lol... or Kasumi (but not my future husband Ekuni because I can already tell that I want him all for myself).

I forgot to make note of how many hearts each heart scene costs before I spent the hearts unfortunately so I’m just taking the word of the blogger who says it costs 207 in total. I know there quite a few options that require ~20 hearts.

ETA: I went through my heart spending history and found the prices of each heart scene 

Walkthrough and CGs below:

25 points to Super Happy Ending

Ch 1

Observe Help Takado (Love Meter +1/CG) 5 hearts

Ch 2

Wait till later. Flip back the covers.

Ch 3

Missy Takado

Ch 4

“This isn’t a conversation.” “You’re missing the point.”

Ch 5

Ignore him. “It’s not every little thing.’”

Ch 6

Apologize Offer an excuse.

Ch 7

Don’t apologize to Takado. Apologize to Takado (Love Meter +2) 8 hearts

Ch 8

“Teach me!” “What’s got you in a snit?”

Ch 9

“I’m not ready to die!” “I value my time, you know!” (pick this one to see Kasumi being funny)

Ch 10

Stick a hand on the wall. Lean on Takado (Love Meter +1) 10 hearts

Ch 11

A scalpel. An aspirator (Love Meter +3) 13 hearts

Ch 12

Tail him. Chase him and shout

Ch 13

Ask Takado. Ask Kasumi.

Ch 14

Don’t ask. “I want to know.” (Love Meter +1) (pick this one if you want to hear about Takado’s backstory. If you select “Don’t ask” the first time, they will ask you again if you want to know and it costs 15 hearts)

Ch 15

Ask about the Pen. Ask about Takado. (Love Meter +1) 8 hearts

Ch 16

My duty as a doctor compelled me. I was worried about him. (Love Meter +2) 10 hearts

Ch 17

Avoid his potential wrath. Ask. (Love Meter +3) (pick this one to hear Takado’s full backstory) 15 hearts

Ch 18

Go back to sleep. Carefully sit up (Love Meter +1/CG) 13 hearts

Ch 19

Stay silent, like Takado Defend Takado

Ch 20

Stay out of it Insist on examining the woman (Love Meter +2) 10 hearts

Ch 21

“And then they’d kiss.” “And it’d get all tragic.”

Ch 22

Ignore him Ask for details (Love Meter +1) 10 hearts 

Ch 23

Give up for now Talk to Takado again (Love Meter +3) 20 hearts (fml)

Ch 24

“I’m off.” “Dr. Takado…”

Ch 25

Don’t go. Follow Takado.

Ch 26

Feel sorry for him.14 hearts Explain. (Love Meter +2) 

Ch 27

“No need.” “Tell me, then.” (Love Meter +1/CG) 15 hearts

Ch 28

Get some sleep. Stay with Takado (Love Meter +3) (kiss scene) 19 hearts

Ch 29

Call Dr. Kasumi. Don’t call him yet. (Love Meter +3) (if you choose to call Kasumi, you get a second chance to not call him which costs 22 hearts fml. If you don’t call him, you get quite a cute scene with the iCU team)