#but mushy meat is a texture no go

[abuglikecreature]

thinkin abt absolute scatterbrain Wade & very particular little wolvie. like wolvie will play all day out in the mud & sticks but as soon as hes given a super processed food (old little boy) he cries. wade learned that lesson from dino nuggets and heroically made sure they didn’t go to waste (om nom) while wolvie got a carrot or something (sweet treat to him).

another thought. wade tells wolvie to wait for walkies or a book or playing or something, & gives wolvie a guestimate on what time they’ll get around to it. So wolvie plops his butt down in front of a clock (maybe with a roughed up teddy in hand) and waits. the clock tic tic tics past that time wade gave him, and wolvie is confused. he trails after wade, poking and pawing and grumbling at wade, who had genuinely constantly been thinking about what hed promised wolvie but just kept getting distracted. & then they live happily ever after yay yay yippee

[eschynite]

I've been thinking about my negative judgment of picky eaters the past few days and feel like it's really irrational and unfair. I draw arbitrary lines for when it makes sense to be picky vs. when it doesn't when the reality is that I can never really know what someone else's experience is and I can't accurately gage the validity of anyone's feelings. does that make sense? however I do want to mention that I think a lot of people "don't like vegetables" bc their parents never prepared them properly or seasoned them well

[kedreeva]

Do you have a recipe for quail you would be willing to share? I saw a six-pack of frozen quail at my local grocery store, and I would love to give them a try, but they're a new-to-me ingredient! Thank you.

I was advised to marinate in ranch and pan fry, by someone that eats wild hunted quail, and I'm told that pan frying before baking is best, but honestly my favorite is quail pot pie rather than eating the quail on its own. They're EXCEPTIONALLY easy to dry out, especially if they are skinless (and mine are because it's too much trouble to pluck)

You chop onions and garlic, put in a large pan, a cup of water (or I use stock I made with quail bones from previous meals, but chicken stock would probably be fine), some salt if you haven't used stock, and the whole quail carcasses. Cover and simmer low-medium until the quail are done through (usually like 45 mins? For me on my stove, you would need to experiment to be sure on yours), turning over once during cooking. While that's going, chop potatoes and start them boiling, then chop carrots and add them halfway through the potato boil so they're not mushy. I thaw some frozen broccoli but don't cook it further, just chop it up. I usually also chop mushrooms up and don't cook them.

Once the quail are done, remove as much meat as you can, chop any large pieces into smaller pieces. You can toss the onions and garlic or drain and hold some back, it doesn't really matter. Drain the potatoes/carrots pot, and put everything into a saucepan with a jar of gravy (I use turkey gravy). While it's warming up, put a crust in a pie pan, and then dump the mix into the pie pan and cover with another crust if you want. Bake for 1 hour at 350F, let cool, and enjoy.

You can leave out pretty much anything you want or swap it for whatever or add stuff. My partner likes peas in his pot pie (texture nightmare for me). The amounts don't really matter for the rest, as long as it fits in your pie pan. I find 2 decent sized redskin potatoes, 4 quail, a few baby carrots (like maybe 6-8 good sized ones not those skinny bitches), a small bowl of broccoli+mushrooms (together) seems to be about right for me.

It does have a different flavor than chicken pot pie, but I like it. Also be REALLY thorough about checking your meat for bones, they have so many tiny bones. I pretty much always miss some little fucker somehow, so don't be surprised if you do, too.

I like mine with a bit of cheese shredded on top!

[heavysighing-dreamyeyes]

We all know Jason is wonderful and amazing at everything. However, he is also flawed-in the most lovable way. What are things you think Jason is bad at? Like, maybe he doesn't have a sense of rhythm? Or sucks at getting saran wrap out of the box? (that is me self projecting.) Little things that make him feel more human in our daydreaming. Oh! And I was thinking about one of your responses about him liking unique food combos. I agree and It is fun. However it made me wonder if he has issues with plain food. Without a weird combo. Because of the Joker he can't stand plain bread, pizza, ect. because that is what he fed Jason when he was kidnapped. I mean, obviously the food wasn't fresh-- It could be a texture thing too. He HAS to mix things up otherwise it makes him sick. Thank you for reading! Have a lovely rest of your day. -🦧

Okay, ow, first off!! You had me giggling and smiling, and then you broke my heart?? Nonnie?? You are insane for that. (With love)

ANYWAY, things Jason Todd is bad at include:

Brushing his hair. Like, he washes it and everything but brushing it? Nope. He doesn't bother with it because it's just going under his helmet. He doesn't mind if you run your fingers through his hair to untangle the knots, though. (Even if you don't, his hair always manages to look good even when it's messy. No one has any idea how he does it)

Keeping track of his jacket. He doesn't mean to leave it everywhere and anywhere in your apartment, but he does. It's on the edge of your bed, over the back of your couch, hanging on the door knob of the bathroom, but somehow it's never in the same place twice

Turning on lights. He's just used to doing things in the dark, so he doesn't really register that the lights are off. You'll get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom or get something to drink, and he's just standing in the kitchen making a snack with only the streetlights to guide his actions. It nearly gave you a heart attack the first time, but he's gotten better at calling out to you if he hears you, just so you know it's him and not anyone else

Now, on the food thing, again, ow. I can definitely see AK having an aversion to the things he ate in the asylum. Things like oatmeal, certain breads, and the smell of raw meat makes bile rise in his throat. Texture, too, is a big factor. Anything that's mushy or similar to oatmeal in texture isn't gonna go over well.

[ruewrites]

AO3

Ship: Beelzebub/MC

Word Count: 2579

Warning(s): Sensory Issues

A/N: This was my second piece for the gift exchange @obeymeholidayexchange for @qrowsofafeather! I don't normally write for MC, but the prompt I picked was "Beelzebub takes a food adverse/picky MC out to sample Devildom food to find something they will like". As someone who is also sensitive to food textures I couldn't not do it. I HOPE YOU LIKE IT QROW 💗

Getting Yuki to eat their first day in the Devildom had been a challenge all on their own. Beelzebub remembered the way they tried to smile, their hooves shaking as they attempted, and failed, to force down the tiniest bite he’d ever witnessed down their throat. The partially chewed up  morsel wound its way back onto their plate, and Yuki bowed their head to excuse themselves from the table in a quick little flurry. 

They insisted they weren’t hungry anymore, and yet Beelzebub still found them rooting through the fridge late in the night when he did his own midnight snack run. They’d almost fallen from the shelf they were standing on after being startled, the light emitting from the fridge illuminated their bleary eyes. The following events had been quick and not thought through and had nearly woken up the other occupants of Lamentation. Knowing Lucifer, it definitely could have ended in a much more upsetting fashion than a few pieces of devil ham hock and a cup of screaming succotash on the floor.

It was confusing, Beelzebub wouldn’t lie, normally other people weren’t sneaking around the kitchen at night. His appetite dwarfed theirs and, for the most part, three meals and a few tiny snacks was enough to tide most people over. So why would Yuki be rooting around in the fridge at night? For a moment, he wondered if such a small creature could possibly have an appetite as large as his, and for a single second he understood why others were amazed. 

Then Yuki explained after rapid apologies. They weren’t satisfied earlier, they were still hungry, but the texture of the meat- once their teeth dug into it, they couldn’t bring themselves to eat anymore. It was all wrong, too chewy. It wasn’t right, Yuki’s teeth couldn’t cut into it quite right, and the crunching  sound it made when they hit gristle-

They felt terrible and embarrassed. 

Yuki wanted to like the food, they really did.

They wanted to eat it, but they couldn’t.

Beelzebub thought it sounded terrible. Texture getting in the way of the enjoyment of food? What would it be like for him if he had to constantly worry about what he ate with his appetite? All the food he enjoyed, he would always have to worry about it and fret. And if it wasn’t right he wouldn’t be able to eat? It sounded like the worst punishment a demon even crueler than Lucifer would come up with!

So, since that day, Beel paid close attention to the food that was made, as did the rest of his brothers. 

Yuki preferred tender meat, the kind that would fall apart in the mouth and that was juicy. They also liked things that were crispy, but they could never be too chewy. That was bad. For vegetables, they could be crispy or cooked, but they could never be mushy. Vegetables had to have some sort of structure or else they wouldn’t feel quite right. Food also couldn’t be too stringy or contain any gristle at all. 

Not every time was perfect, and every now and again one of them would make a mistake or they would have food that Yuki couldn’t eat. In that case they always kept a select few foods on standby that were known as Yuki’s safe foods. Beel tried his best not to touch them, and if he did he made sure he went to buy them more as soon as he could. 

The other issue, that Beel didn’t even realize, was the subject of restaurants. 

When going out to eat, Yuki could never be certain of the textures of food they’d come across. Even if the food smelled, looked, and tasted good, it could still have a less than welcoming texture for Yuki. 

The thought that he couldn’t safely enjoy restaurants with Yuki was an upsetting one, and one he would have to come up with a solution for. Sharing food was a form of sharing affection for him. Sharing food was a form of love for him. If he had to put a little more effort in, he was sure that he could find a way to share his love with Yuki.

Food was a great way to get to know someone, it was a gateway to their soul.

Like how Mammon liked really spicy food and Asmo liked sweets. 

Mammon was fiery and spirited and always tried to step in for them.

Meanwhile Asmo was kind and supportive and always ready to point out their best qualities. 

It just made sense to Beel, and he wanted to learn more about their human exchange student. It had been a while since they’d come to the Devildom, true, but it was never too late to learn something new about the person you cared about. Food was the spice and flavor of life, and the more food can be enjoyed, the more life can be enjoyed.

Beelzebub wanted Yuki to enjoy life without trouble as much as possible. 

One day, he approached the small sheep, list in hand and laid it before them. 

“Tell me which group of textures appeals the most to you.”

The bell around their neck jingled softly as they looked up at him in confusion. 

“Trust me on this.” He laid another list in front of them. “I also have some groupings of scenery too. Noise, lights, things like that. I know those can bother you too.”

He watched as they carefully circled the groupings that most appealed to them, taking extra care and thought to each of the pairings on the sheet, even going as far as to rate which groupings would be the most unpleasant to most pleasant.  Once completed, Yuki stepped away from the lists and looked up at him with a jingle of their bell. They tilted their head curiously as Beel took the lists in his hands.

“Nothing I can tell you yet,” he said in response, “Just know that I’m gonna make plans.”

And make plans he did. 

Beel took Yuki’s notes into special consideration as he went to every restaurant he could think of in the vicinity. The textures, the atmosphere, it all had to be perfect. He didn’t even really care if they put a limit on his own potions, if Yuki could eat their fill that would make him more than happy. He even asked the staff what type of light fixtures they used (and chewed on a few for good measure). Everything had to be perfect for them, Yuki had to enjoy this meal. It couldn’t just taste good, it had to feel good.

What good was food if it wasn’t appetizing? If it didn’t touch the soul? If it wasn’t an experience?

Food had to be all of those things, because food was meant to be enjoyed and savored on the tongue. It warmed a body from the pit of the stomach, flowing out through the fingers and the head dizzy with endorphins. It made Beel smile and his mind buzz. He could feel it in his hands and his feet, radiating straight from his endless pit. 

Yuki deserved those good feelings too.  

The vibration.

The rush.

The joy.

And Beelzebub would do anything to make sure that experience could be guarded and cherished for them.

***

Yuki sat on Beel’s shoulder as they walked through town. It was a pleasant day, mildly chilly, just enough to liven the senses. Every shop they passed alerted Beel with a variety of pleasant and tempting aromas. They were begging him to step inside and devour everything in sight. But today was for Yuki, and Beel would stay focused for them. He couldn’t take a possible moment of enjoyment away from them to satisfy his own urges. Not today. 

Besides, Yuki’s joy would fill him more than any triple deluxe cheeseburger with extra devil sauce ever could. Even if it did sound really good, and Beelzebub thought it sounded incredibly good as it made droplets of drool form at the corners of his mouth. 

The bell around Yuki’s neck rang as they attempted to clear the drool around his mouth with a tiny cloth. 

“Hm? Oh sorry about that,” Beel said, taking the cloth from Yuki and wiping his face. The sheep tilted their head in confusion in a silent question, one that Beel understood perfectly. It wasn’t that hard to understand Yuki, he just had to listen a little differently.

“Where are we going?”

Yuki nodded.

“You’ll see, it’s a surprise.”

Their brow furrowed, and their gaze became a bit apprehensive. It was a rightful concern, but Beel was certain in what he was doing.

“Don’t worry. You’ll like it a lot. I promise. I did a lot of research.”

Yuki still seemed apprehensive, but settled back down comfortably, scooting closer to Beel’s chin.

Walking for a little while longer, the pair eventually came to a quiet little building on the edge of town. The lights were dim and soft and streamed out of the window gently onto the street. Beel opened the door to a warm and plush restaurant. The tables were wide and had hot plates on either end and a grill in the center. Beel brought them over to an empty table, kneeling down so they could hop off his shoulder with ease. Sitting across from them, he tapped the tablet screen on the table. The  screen lit up with a variety of options from different meats, vegetables, and broths to choose from.

Yuki’s bell rang twice as their head looked from the screen up to Beel.

“I know you’re normally hesitant about restaurants because of sensory things, and Devildom food is even trickier for you to navigate,” Beel said as he started to scroll through and select a variety of foods, “But I still wanted to share some of my favorite foods with you, and I wanted to take you out.”

For a moment, Beel felt like he was rambling, and an odd feeling overcame him. Face heating up, he pressed the submit button a little harder than he needed to, making the tablet bend ever so slightly and leaving a rather prominent fingerprint in his wake. He had been excited when he started, why now did he suddenly feel so shy? It didn’t make any sense in the slightest. Perhaps he could ask Belphie later about these weird feelings, but for now, he had to focus on Yuki. The urge to over explain returned and he continued to speak.

“I- I wanted to find a place we could eat out together, and take you to restaurants I really like. So I went to every restaurant I could and tried all their food and even got second opinions from other people.” Beel liked all food, and while he thought he could be pretty good at differentiating between textures and tastes, he wanted to be extra sure. If Yuki didn’t like it, Beel didn’t know if he’d be able to finish his own meal. There was still the chance that Yuki wouldn’t like this food, and the thought alone made Beel sweat. The last thing he wanted was to embarrass them and-

Maybe he should have gotten takeout instead.

Maybe bringing them out to a physical restaurant was selfish.

Maybe-

No. 

No no. He couldn’t think like this. Yuki would love this, and he was sure about that. He had to be sure about it.

“I tried a lot of different places, and it was hard to pick one. That’s why I made the lists I did for you to choose from.” He looked up at the lighting fixtures, and listened to the soft music that floated throughout the room. It wasn’t too overstimulating, he didn't think. He’d asked Levi to step inside and he seemed pretty relaxed, so it would work for Yuki too. 

“You choose what you want to eat and then you cook it yourself, either in a broth or on the thing in the middle, I can help you choose based on flavor,” Beel said, a smile finally making its way to his face, “If you have trouble with the cooking too I can help you, I’ve gotten pretty good at cooking meals for you.”

He stopped as he noticed Yuki tear up a little and wipe their eyes.

“We don’t have to though!” Beel panicked, “We can go home and make something if you don’t like it. I-”

Yuki shook their head rapidly, the jingling of their bell struggling to keep up as they did so. Walking across the table, they motioned for Beel to come closer and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. His face turned a bright shade of red as Yuki took a seat next to him instead of making their way back to the other side of the table. He was in such a state of shock that he didn’t even notice when the piles of food and the bowls of broth were delivered. In fact, Yuki had to nudge him a few times to get him to notice. 

The look of concern on their face made him feel bad, he didn’t mean to worry him, that kiss had just been unexpectedly nice.

He picked up his chopsticks and dropped a slice of manic minotaur meat and dropped it into the bubbling bowl alongside some putrid potato. The seconds couldn’t have ticked by slower as they waited. The thin slices of meat always cooked the fastest and were usually done in seconds. Everything went quiet as he lifted the cooked meat from the bowl, dripping with savory juices as he looked back over to Yuki. Carefully, he held it out to them and they both held their breath as they took their first bite.

Beel had barely noticed the way Yuki closed their eyes until they flew open in wonder, and before he could react the rest of the meat was in their mouth (along with a good portion of the chopsticks).

“You like it that much huh?”

Yuki nodded their head so fast that Beel thought their bell would soar right off their neck, never to be seen again. 

“I guess that just means that we’ll have to make this our place then huh?”

He’d never felt a warmth like this before. It was a better feeling than food could ever give him, and different than the warmth he’d felt with his family. As he dropped food into their bowls and onto the grill before them, Beel rattled on about the different meats and vegetables and which ones he thought Yuki would like along with their flavors. He talked about the different drinks they could order, and he raved about desserts and the fruit and sauce options at the bar in the back.

He talked on and on and on, the warmth between them growing with each passing second.

And outside, though neither of them noticed, a soft snow started to fall and collect on the sidewalks outside, illuminated by the quiet light illuminating from the tiny restaurant on the outskirts. A tiny restaurant on the outskirts where two figures ate, and laughed, and loved.

Two figures who couldn’t imagine being anywhere else in all the Three Realms.

Two figures who were full of joy.

A joy that couldn’t be replicated anywhere, not this night.

Not with the snow falling.

Not when the world was so quiet, and calm.

Not when everything was right.

[writer-ace]

Food / Cooking Hacks I Use to Reduce Food Waste

Between my executive functioning issues and my sensory issues, food can be complicated, and I end up paying the ADHD/neurodivergence tax a lot. Food goes bad because I can't bring myself to cook it, or fruits/vegetables get one tiny bit too mushy and I can't eat them.

I'm still working on it, but here are some of the hacks/strategies I've developed to reduce that:

Partial meal prep. Most of the time, I can't stand reheated carbs or vegetables, and so I always struggled with a lot of meal prep because it involved making leftovers I then wouldn't want to eat. So I started doing what I've been calling partial meal prep: when I buy a package of meat, instead of portioning it out and freezing some of it or saving it in my fridge to cook the next day, I will just cook all of it. Then, over the next few days, I can do whatever carb or vegetable and then just reheat the meat. This means I'm more likely to use the meat before it goes bad, and cooking it all at once isn't generally much more work than cooking a portion.

Fruit salad. For some reason, fruit mush bothers me far less when it's in a fruit salad than when it's on its own. i think the mix of textures hides any less-than-ideal texture. So I've started making big batches of fruit salad (if I can, I do berries, though I also add other fruit) and storing it in my fridge in a giant container. Then, whenever I want fruit, I can portion some out. I've ended up using more of any given fruit than if I try to work through individual packages.

Hearty vegetables I can eat raw. Cooking vegetables can be a pain, and as someone who cooks for one, I end up often not being able to cook all of it before it starts to go meh. So most of the time, I rotate through vegetables that don't go bad/mushy fast and that I enjoy eating raw, like baby carrots and tomatoes. This also works for fruit--apples are a great option.

Airtight plastic containers. I've been using this for a long time for my flour and sugar, but recently a bought a whole bunch of these to use for snacks, etc. When I buy something like cereal, cookies, or goldfish, I open it and dump it in one of the plastic containers. That way I can see how much I have left so I'm less likely to end up with that nebulous amount going stale in the bag, and they get stale slower because it's airtight.

[teachingrounds]

Picky Eater Type 4: The Super Feeler

Your 2-year-old has big-time texture hang-ups. They think carrots are too hard, yogurt is too slimy, and cucumbers are too smooth. It seems like every meal is a struggle to find foods that they'll tolerate. What's Going On: Discomfort with textures is a typical problem for good reason: "Young kids have a wide range in chewing ability," says Le Billon. "Their teeth, jaws, and surrounding muscles are still developing, and they may not feel in control when some foods are in their mouth. So they reject them." What To Do About It: Proper seating can be a big help. "Young children can chew more effectively when their core muscles are supported by their feet," Le Billon explains, "so give your child a stool to rest her feet on when sitting at the table instead of letting them dangle." (Or invest in a junior chair that can live at the table. We like the IKEA Urban Junior Chair.) And experiment with different textures. Instead of serving either raw or mushy veggies, try blanching them for a happy medium, Melanie Potock suggests. Drop them into boiling water for a few minutes, then transfer them to a bowl of ice water. This process makes the veggies tender, with just a little crunch. Then cut them into very small cubes and start by asking your child to put a bite on their molars. "Children feel safer if they can feel the food against their teeth," she notes. "And the flavor won't be as intense and overwhelming as it is on their tongue, where all the taste buds are."5 If chewy meat is an unpleasant texture for your child, bake, roast, or use a slow cooker or a pressure cooker so meats are melt-in-your-mouth soft. Beef or turkey meatballs can be a good option, too, as long as they are very moist. Serve gravy or sauce on the side if your child prefers to dip.

Text by Stephanie Wood, illustration by Teddy Yang, published by Parents.com https://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/feeding/picky-eaters/the-picky-eater/

[renovachrono]

oc think piece: food and drink

og ask game by grumpy-triceratops

🍽️Food and Drink

What flavor would your character say their personality is?

Lemon. Light, bright, inherently a bit sour, but can delightfully sweet when you add the right stuff to it.

Would your character prefer baking, cooking or mixing drinks?

Mixing drinks, baking, cooking in that order. She does more baking, but she really enjoys mixing drinks.

Is there a food or drink your character is unwilling to try?

She tries her best not to be picky, but if there's something with a texture she knows she's not gonna like, she's not gonna bother trying it. Doesn't matter if it tastes decent if the texture is bad.

How big is your character's appetite?

Pretty large! She burns a lot of energy with all her training, so she eats plenty to fuel and strengthen her body.

Does your character consider eating fun?

Not particularly. It's mostly something she does because it needs to be done, and eating her favorite foods makes it better? But I don't think she'd consider it "fun". The only aspect of having a meal that's fun to her is the social aspect of having meals with the Bulls.

Would your character eat or drink something they didn't like to appease someone?

I'm gonna say yes, but it probably depends heavily on what the food is and who's asking. Theres a spectrum for how willing she'd be based on how much she didn't like the food and how much she loves the person asking and doesn't want to disappoint them.

Is there food that has made your character sick?

Dried plantain/banana chips. Specifically dried chips. Normal bananas are fine, but for some reason, the dried chips make her ill.

What is your character's favorite food group?

Aurora really likes proteins and carbs lmfao. Meats are probably her favorite, but ✨️she's just a girl✨️ and she loves grains. She fucks heavy with pastas and rice and bread. She really does love all the food groups, but if she had to, she would be content being just a meat and potatoes girlie.

Does your character like to try new foods?

She doesn't mind it, yea! She's not really the type to search out new food experiences, but she's open to trying new things when the opportunity presents itself.

What is a childhood meal your character cherishes?

A very simple dish her papa used to make was thinly sliced meat marinated in soy sauce and sugar over a bed of rice. She's found ways to get a similar tasting dish in Clover, but she hasn't fully nailed the taste. Another dish was Zara's beef stew. When Zora makes it, it's pure nostalgia in a bowl.

Is your character food motivated?

Not at all, really. Perhaps a silly little treat might get her going, but she's not really a food motivated person.

Which mealtime is your character's favorite?

Hard tie between breakfast and dinner. Breakfast has so many good options, but dinner has the good meats.

How much does your character care about wasting food?

A fairly good deal. Even in her homeland, she wasn't from wealth. In Clover, she was raised in the forsaken realm, and while they definitely had enough to keep food on the table, not being wasteful was something that had been instilled in her from a young age. She hates how wasteful the nobles and royals tend to be.

Does your character prefer restaurant food or home cooked food?

Usually home cooked. There's something comforting and familiar about a home cooked meal, y'know?

What food or drink does your character consider a treat?

Most sweets from a bakery! She loves little pastries, and usually, she makes herself make them at home when she wants a little sweet treat. Every now and then, though, she lets herself visit her favorite bakery and brings home a box or two of goodies for the squad. She knows she can't make a croissant or a puff pastry as well as these guys can. She doesn't have the patience for laminating layers of butter like that.

Is there a food texture your character doesn't like?

Yes! Aurora can't stand slimy foods and mushy foods. Oysters are a huge no-go, as is oatmeal. She can tolerate jello for about 5 minutes until her brain realizes it's eating jello, and then she can't touch it. Bananas also fall under the mushy category, but she tries to force those down after workouts.

What kind of drinks does your character prefer?

Icy cold and not too sweet. She likes water with some flavor, like lemon or fruit infusions. It needs *some* sort of flavor to it. The only thing she enjoys on the sweeter side is her coffee and her hot cocoa. She also really likes fruity teas and peppermint teas, hot or iced.

[summerofspock]

This is a little random but I saw your post about loving biscuits and gravy but making it vegetarian. My best friend is also vegetarian and I’ve tried different gravy recipes for her so she can still enjoy it. Would you mind sharing what recipe you use/recommend so I can make it for her?

Oh for sure! I'd caveat the following with the fact that I cook a lot based on what I remember learning as a kid and by smashing together what I like from recipes I read so I'm usually vibing more than following a strict recipe but I'll do my best to list quantities. Note that they are best estimates and you may have to adjust for taste and texture.

**

There are two gravy recipes I like! The first uses fake meat (morning star farms) and the second uses mushrooms.

For the fake meat it is as follows

2-4 tbsp butter

1/4-1/2 cup flour

2-4 cups milk

1 pkg morning star farms veggie sausage (7 patties i believe)

- seasonings

1/4-1/2 tsp red pepper flakes

1 tsp dried rubbed sage

1 clove garlic OR 1/4-1/2 tsp garlic salt (if you love garlic feel free to do 2 cloves. I am garlic sensitive)

Go to town on cracked black pepper

Salt to taste

(Sometimes I add smoked paprika if I'm feeling fancy)

Instructions: microwave frozen patties until thawed (does not need to be warmed all the way), either chop or food process until ground (will be mushy). Melt butter in medium soup pot. Add sausage and raw garlic if using. Add seasonings. Cook for a few minutes. Add flour until sausage is coated. Cook briefly until all flour is incorporated. If there is excess raw flour, add more butter. Add one cup of milk and stir until flour starts to dissolve and milk thickens. Add milk 1/4 cup at a time until there is enough gravy and you are satisfied with thickness (condensed soup texture).

Serve with biscuits of your choice.

**

Mushroom version is much the same except I add 1 tsp soy sauce to the diced mushrooms as they cook to enhance their flavor. You can cook them with half an onion but I don't (I have an allergy). It can be nice to mix in a little vegetarian bullion (better than bullion is good for this) into the milk before adding to make the flavor more complex. I also usually increase the amount of sage just because the mushrooms are obviously not preseasoned the way the fake meat is.

Hope that helps!

[arfidmeals]

do you have any healthy safe foods? I know all safe foods are different for each person but I'd love some recommendations from others with sensory issues or eating problems

hi ! yes i definitely have less safe foods that are healthy but here are some that are :

most fruit as long as they aren’t mushy. I tend to go for crisp strawberries and firm blueberries. mangoes are also nice. I suggest figuring out what textures you like most and looking for ones that match your preference

red bell peppers. I don’t typically eat ‘vegetables’ but these are sweet and crisp enough that they register as more of a fruit to me. (which i think they might technically be? whatever. vegetables are fake. )

yogurt + granola. I like banana vanilla yogurt or strawberry yogurt. sometimes you need to try a few different brands until you find one you vibe with but i personally go for stonyfield for the banana vanilla. you can also just snack on granola by itself !

peanut butter and jelly sandwich. this one kinda depends for me bc i’m picky about my bread, but for people w sensory issues i tend to recommend the kind of jelly that has like. zero chunks in it. you can also pair this with a glass of milk or water and it’ll go down easier. you can also toast your bread for some nice crunch.

yogurt smoothie/shake thingies. has the health factor of yogurt but for me, an easier consistency. again, i usually go for stonyfield (strawberry).

making your own smoothies also isn’t that hard if you have access to a blender ! and you can put whatever you want in them ! including some vegetables that don’t really tend to effect the taste (cauliflower, avocado, zucchini).

trail mix ! if you just kind of shove it in your mouth and don’t pick at it it’s easier to put some more healthy things in there that you can disguise the texture of with other more yummy things. my favorite mixes tend to consist of peanuts, pretzels, mini chocolate chips, m&ms, golden raisins, and almonds. i also suggest adding any other nuts you can stand, and possibly some dried fruit if you’re into that !

for meals, i tend to find that i’m more likely to eat vegetables and other healthy foods if they’re in something like a pasta salad (where i can just kind of spear everything on my fork and try to ignore it, or where the crunch of a cucumber or something adds to the texture), or in a curry where you can mask flavors and trick your brain into eating potatoes sometimes since they look a little like chicken in the curry (if you’re more inclined to meat). also, even if you’re having ‘unhealthy’ meals, eating a little fruit on the side is always nice !

[neutrallyobsessed]

obviously u like topher x joan but how far does it really go? just curious cuz ur always making fanart and even fanfiction about them

Yeah, drawings, drabbles, edits, comics, collages, smut, videos, everything two dimensional I can manage! when I get a better computer with a good video editing software and a animation program it's all over for y'all~~♥!

I FUCKING SHIP IT WOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♡ww♡

What made you ship it?

I fell down the "this is a pretty funny ship" to "hol up this actually makes a lot of sense, this ship kinda fire" to "these motherfuckers have consumed my every thought and its GREAT!!!" pipeline xdd.

The more I thought about it, the better it sounded, the more ideas I had, EVERYTHING CLICKS SO PERFECTLY WTFFF

It do be like a sliding scale with me in the middle approving a het ship with Joan where sliding negative leads her with Confucius and sliding positive she ends up with Topher lolxd

What are your favorite things about the ship?

WHERE TO BEGIN!!!!! Well, they are terrible people and can always get worse, either doing shenanigans and bothering everyone in the process or just ignoring everyone to be in their own world~~

Age gap, people. It might be a technicallity but they do be 20 years apart and thats like, the best thing ever and the OW/YM strikes again so it's EVEN BETTER!!!!! And with their unconvencional tastes, they'd have A LOT of stuff to share and talk about and teach and learn and they could have so much fun with their niche lil hobbies and references that nobody but them could get and memes that could scar the average angloparlant for life!

And they both have this,,, love for nostalgia (not as apparent in topher, ill concede that its more of a hc) so reminiscing about the past or catching up with things they never lived could be so themmm and so fun to explore~~!!

To bring back something I said earlier, I also really dig the isolation of it all. How Joan feels betrayed by everyone but Topher is there to give her all the attention and devotion that she wants. I haven't decided if they'd finish school or drop off earlier but they do feel like a couple that could ride into the sunset to never be seen again as they build a new life for themselves~~.... it's just that after what happend, I don't see her going back to her old and new friends, but I totally see Topher manipulating all that he can to keep it that way, including Joan. They do be having some unhealthy clinginess towards each other and that's soooo damn good >w<

And yeah, I like Topher getting positive female attention, he looks cute when he likes girls and whoever said that they turned Joan into y/n was so right she really is very easy to project to x_v

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

That's the fun part! As the Queen of Joanpher, is everyone else the who may have an unpopular opinion, my word is law and the other 3 shippers are pretty much in similar Joanpher wavelengths. It is a very instinct ship, ya either get it or ya don't. I don't care and don't have to care bout what non shippers have to say btw 737

Joanpher tastes like: EVERYTHING!! I have eaten so many delicious foods, of many flavors and textures, and when it's Good I go uff si esto es muy joanpher =w=~ but if I had to pick one dish, it'd be The Brochette! Anything you can cook in a stick and directly on the fire cause it's hot as hell~♡! Any type of meat, any kind of vegetable, oil, sauce, sugar, salt, caramel, tender, crunchy, mushy, firm, literally all!! The most important part is that it must be eaten out of the metal stick, like gnawing meat out of the bone, cause it's both raw and wild plus ~elegant and sophisticated~

[naomiknight-17]

We had a nutrition class at cardiac rehab today and usually I'm like "UGH I KNOW stop lecturing me" but today a few people got involved in discussion and it was kinda neat

Someone said they didn't know how to replace red meat in their diet cuz they don't like fish, people suggested chicken or pork or Impossible Beef or seitan (sp?). One lady commented that she'd never tried chickpeas and didn't think she'd like the bean-y texture and I was like "Oh you gotta try them roasted they get so crunchy and tasty" and she was like "Ooh, I like crunchy!"

I mentioned I find lentils too mushy, and one of the therapists was like "Were they red lentils? Try the green, they stay firmer!"

And I could go on but like

Instead of coming out of that nutrition class feeling browbeaten and annoyed, I'm kind of excited to go to a nice grocery store tomorrow and pick out some new foods to try :)

[sharkface]

Hi Shepard while you’re food posting do you have any thoughts on what Leilaw likes to eat? Does he still need to eat food if he’s only half vampire/does he do it anyway? How does his palate compare to for example his British tgirl girlfriend (if you happen to have thoughts on Axl’s preferences)

Leilaw TECHNICALLY should be having both, but he's a little grossed out by drinking blood so he often opts for a combo of iron supplements and rare to raw meats (think like, steak tartare), which he can get away with more because his system is designed to nuke bloodborne illnesses/parasites. If he doesn't drink a little blood every once in a while he gets a little malnourished and sluggish, though. As for what he LIKES, he's picky about textures (doesn't like anything too soft/mushy) but he LOVES pasta dishes and seafood. He also really likes sweets/pastries that aren'y very sweet and even err on the side of bitterness, he loooves dark chocolates grapefruit desserts and biscotti cookies and shit like that.

Leilaw and Axl have pretty different tastes this way, Leilaw is rich and a bit spoiled and not very adventurous foodwise, but Axl fucking loves fast food burgers and presumably, like, sports bar food and shitty british cheap eat comfort foods. Leilaw would try to impress Axl by taking her out for a high class dress coded fancy fish and chips dinner but Axl will basically always be more impressed by the shit made by some old guy running a hole in the wall. She's probably the one getting Leilaw to go out of HIS comfort zone with foods which I think he would be receptive to though he'd act very pathetic about it, lol.

I don't think either of them can cook for shit, but it'd be funny to see them try.

[bluewavesofchange]

The guardians of the Pharaoh

The return of the Seal

I don't own Yugioh or it's characters

Short chapter but a lot of revelations.

Chapter 2

 

3 figures stood atop a tall building, looking down at the city below, the 3 dressed in biker like attire, the man in the centre was taller than the other 2, his dirty blond hair gelled up, his leather coat fluttering in the wind. He watches the people below, several souls to feed the great beast that will cleanse the world of the filth that was infecting it.

 

“So when do we find the pharaoh and take his soul Raphael?” the guy dressed in the crop top, leather jacket and sunglasses asks as he folds his arms across his chest. The blond glances at the other, “Later. Master Dartz has instructed us to test him first and to retrieve his god cards…” he removes a photo from his jacket, “And to find her.” he hands the picture to Valon, the photo was of Lillian in her school uniform from a few years ago…the same picture Raphael had taken from Lee when he took the man’s soul.

 

The brunet raises a brow, “Ain’t she the girl who kicked your arse in Greece a few months ago?” he smirked as the blond glared at him, “She got lucky…and according to Master Dartz she is significant to his plans…just like the pharaoh her soul is needed for the great beast.” He takes the photo back and puts it back in his pocket, “First we get the Egyptian cards and duel the Pharaoh, and then we find her and take her to Dartz. Alister, you’ve got your orders to deal with Kaiba.” The red head nodded, “It’ll be my pleasure.” He smirks. The 3 goons head off to put their plans into motion.

 

Lillian had left the pharmacy and was searching the mall for the arcade, an overwhelming nervousness was running through her. If she was expecting then what was going to happen? How would Seto react? How would this affect their relationship? How would her family react? Would the child have her powers or would they be human like Seto? Would he even want a child? They had never actually talked about having a family…certainly not now; their relationship had just gotten to a point where they were comfortable. She had to admit as much as she hated being sick, she loved having Seto taking care of her. He had been so patient and gentle with her, tending to her every need and not even complaining once…he was truly a good care giver…which made her think he would be a good father too…

 

Considering his history with the bastard of a step-father, she could imagine Seto would try to be better than him…like he was trying to do now. She stopped walking, her hand moving to her dragon pendant. Why did she doubt her beloved? He had been an amazing parental figure for Mokuba and even Noah now that the kid was living with them…albeit he could still be a little harsh…ok extremely harsh but he still cared.  He had a bigger heart than anyone she knew…except Yugi. That kid had the biggest, kindest, sweetest heart than anyone on the planet.

 

Oh god what was he going to think if he found out his sister was pregnant? Well that’s if she even was pregnant. Her symptoms could just be some weird bug…many sicknesses caused nausea in the mornings, tiredness, screwing with your sense of taste and smell (she still couldn’t deal with the fact that she ate meat. The reason she had become a vegetarian was that the orphanage served the same tasteless mushy beef stew every night for 10 years. The texture of the overcooked hunks of meat was repulsive).

 

She sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair. This was a mess. She continued walking, distracted as she searched for the arcade, not seeing the tall man she bumped into, “Oh I’m sorry. I wasn’t looking…where…I was…going…” she slowly froze at the face she saw in front of her…a face she never expected to see. The man had short raven hair, brown eyes and light skin. He wore a white shirt, black jeans and a leather jacket, a pair of glasses on his face. He smiled at the girl as she stepped back, “It’s you…it’s really you.” He reached out and hugged her tightly.

 

Lillian was freaking out inside…she had seen this man only in a photograph…the one that held an image of her father and mother…she had given up her search for the man, making peace with the fact that he would never be part of her life and that she had her own family now…and yet fate loved to laugh in her face…

 

She pushed him away hard, stumbling back as she glared at him, “How did you find me?” he looked at her confused, “I’ve been searching for you for a long time…”

 

“Why? You abandoned me.” She turned to leave but he grabbed her arm, “Please Lillian, give me a chance to explain.” She yanked her arm away and snarled at him, “No. You left me behind that night…you didn’t even bother to give me a name which by the way how do you know my name?” he pulls out a piece of paper from his pocket, it was a copy of her birth certificate, “As I said I’ve been looking for you for a long time…I found the orphanage you were sent to but your adoption records were sealed…so it took a bit longer…”

 

“I don’t care. I don’t want anything to do with you. So get lost…” she tried to leave again but he followed her, “Lillian I am your father, I have a right to be in your life. Just give me a chance.” She growled as she looked back at him, “You lost the right to be in my life the day you ran off like a coward! You left me in that hospital, leaving me to grow up in that rat hole of an orphanage all alone! If you cared about me you wouldn’t have abandoned me! You fuck off!” she shoved him hard, causing him to fall back onto the ground…a necklace he was wearing slipping from the collar of his shirt…a green stone attached to it…

 

Lillian’s eyes land on it, a vision filling her mind…

 

A meteor had come down in the human world and spread out many broken pieces of a stone that held a dark power...one piece landed in the ocean, creating a small passage to the world of monsters, slipping through and landing in the oceans of the strange world. Slowly it began to have an effect on the creatures, a sickness of dark magic seeping from it and poisoning the seas, the waves that crashed into the shores infected the land with this sickness. Several creatures either went mad under the influence of this curse and many others would become weak and perish.

 

Fearing for their people’s safety, the 3 goddess’s took it upon themselves to locate the source of this sickness and find a way to rid their world of it. The Siren was the one to locate the stone that had infected this once peaceful world. She could feel darkness flowing from it, turning the water around it murky and vile. It made her sick to be around it, feeling the essences of it trying to infect her very soul. She wanted to flee from it, to swim away as quickly as she could before the darkness could take hold of her. But she needed to dispose of it in order to save not only her people but every other creature in this world…

 

Her grabbed her head as it started to ache as the images kept assaulting her senses…

 

Seeing all this death and destruction, the goddess’s decided to join forces and fight for this world, to put themselves and their people at risk for the sake of humanity and the world they lived in. Clarity guided her army of light from the sky, casting down lightening and arrows upon the dark creatures below.

 

Rozu commanded her army of dead soldiers to raise from the earth and storm the enemy relentlessly, an unstoppable force of the undead. When one would fall to battle, two more would rise in its place.

 

And the Siren fought beside her warriors of the sea. With her trident in hand, she led her warriors in the glorious battle against the Leviathan in the sea.

Each creature fought tooth and nail to avenge those that had fallen and to protect those that remain. Many had fallen and yet the battles raged on. Soon there were only but a dozen left but the goddess’s remained strong. Storming Darts fortress, the city of Atlantis, Rozu entered the palace dead set on devouring the wicked man’s soul, however upon entering he was nowhere to be found. Clarity was elsewhere, taking out the remainder of Darts army, striking down the last beast with her golden sword. This left the Siren, standing against the leviathan.

Her eyes and tattoos started glowing as the ground started to shake as the water in the pipes below was going crazy, swirling and moving viciously…

 

The siren was the last to reach the portal but stopped when she sensed the beast was nearby. Wishing to finish the monster off she dived into the ocean, following the leviathan to its hiding place. Hidden deep within a cave it reached out and grabbed her, dragging her to it to absorb her. She struggled in its strong grasp, unable to escape. She was already exhausted from using her strongest ability. She was out of options…or was she?

 

In a last attempt to save herself she started to sing a soft melody, the markings on her neck glowing, her song floating in the waters surrounding the two creatures. Slowly the leviathan’s eyes fell shut as it was forced into a deep slumber by the sirens song, curling up deep in the darkness. However it kept its hold on the goddess who was unable to escape. All she could do was sing to keep the beast asleep. And sing she would…

 

She screamed as she fell to her knees, water bursting from the ground as the pipes burst, flooding the nearby stores and scaring several shoppers. The visions had stopped but panic still flowed through her veins. She stared at the man in front of her, her eyes falling on the green crystal…sensing the evil flowing from it. The man frowned as he stood up, his form distorting for a moment…a man with long turquoise hair, a long white robe and miss matched eyes…

 

He returned to normal and made his way over to Lillian, a glare on his face but the girl raised her hand and sent a stream of water at him, knocking him over again, giving her a chance to run off.

 

The man stood up and again, looking around but Lillian was gone. He sighs, “It would seem like your powers have returned my dear…” the façade disappears…leaving behind none other than Dartz…Raphael informed him that he had spotted the girl not too long ago…he had been searching for the sea witch that had taken down the great Leviathan for more than a millennia…only to discover the necklace that held her soul…he had held onto to try and find a way to feed her soul to the beast but nothing worked…until a gave it to a woman…only for her to fall pregnant a month later…and a child to be born effectively killing the woman…she had served her purpose…

 

But Dartz had no desire to raise the child, he wanted her to reach her full potential and powers, letting her soul become stronger and richer for the leviathan to feast on…so he had left her at the hospital…not realizing that she would become a part of the lives of those that he wished to deliver to the beast too…how well everything worked out in the end…

 

Lillian had found Mokuba and dragged him home without any explanation. She seemed freaked out by something but she wouldn’t answer any of the kid’s questions…

 

Once they returned to the manor she headed up to her and Seto’s room, slamming the door shut and tossing her bag onto the ground as she started to pace back and forth as her breath felt heavy in her chest, griping her hair as she thought back to the visions…to that man…

 

Except they weren’t just visions…they were memories…her memories…the life she had lived a long time ago…her eyes slowly widened as suddenly she felt a tingly on the back of her neck that turned into a sharp pain as her eyes lit up…thousands of years of forgotten memories flooding through her head…overloading her mind…

 

…the vast oceans she used to traverse…

 

…the other two goddess that had created peace once the dark lord was gone…

 

…the two infants she had saved before giving them to the strange dragons to protect…

 

…the war she fought to protect her family…

 

…her family…

 

…her mother and father…the dragons that had found her as an infant and raised her alongside Tsuki…

 

…Tsuki…she remembers his face…his arms around her…the days they spent together…the promise they had made to each other before he left their world…his smile…his voice…his tender nature…the dream of the home and family they had once had…

 

Lillian rushed to the bathroom and fell to her knees in front of the toilet, throwing up violently as her body shook form the shock she was in from the over load of information that was taking over her mind.

 

She sat back once her stomach was empty, wiping her mouth with her hand as she started to cry, hugging her knees to her chest before gripping her hair again…how could she have forgotten everything? The thousands of years she lived in that world? The people she cared for, the loved ones she had lost…her mate…Tsuki…how could she have forgotten him and the promise they had made to find each other again…

 

She trembled as she reached for her necklace, pulling it off and staring at the pendant as the tears streamed down her cheeks…she had betrayed him…cheated on him…the love of her life…the other half of her soul…the one that held her heart…

 

But…did she really?

 

She ran her thumb over the dragons head…thinking of Tsuki’s face…his eyes…those beautiful blue eyes that held so much wonder and promise…the same eyes that saw every morning she woke up…that same voice that wished her good morning after they shared a soft kiss…

 

But…that was crazy right? Sure they shared similar personality traits…they were roughly the same height and build…they both were associated with the Blue Eyes White dragons…the connection she had felt to Seto had always felt so familiar to her…the way they had been drawn to each other and then there was the vision she had experienced during her time in the virtual world…the dragon she had seen with the scar on its side…the man in white that had that same scar running along his side…the same shape and size as the birthmark Seto had…

 

Was it possible that Tsuki was Seto? If so…how would that even be possible?! She had watched her mate and parents disappear through a portal…never to be seen again until their world was freed from the darkness…had they ended up here??

 

This was all too much for Lillian to think about…this was too much for her to handle…she must be going crazy…none of this made any sense…this couldn’t be real! And yet…deep down in her soul she knew it was…this was her life…had been her life…she was Serena…daughter of Hikaru and Ami…the mate of Tsuki and the goddess of the sea…she had fought against Lord Yomi and his magicians…she had brought peace to the lands of her home world…she had come to this reality and fought against the great Leviathan…been dragged down to the depths of the sea were she was trapped for 5000 years and then was imprisoned in the gem that her love had given to her before they parted for another 5000 years…she remembered it all…and now she was possibly carrying her beloveds child…

 

She slowly got up, her legs shaking as she headed back into the bedroom to get the pregnancy test…

 

She returned to the bathroom after having seen the news report on the duel monsters that were attacking the city and the weird lights that were filling the sky with no explanation…but she knew what it was…what it meant…history was repeating itself and the great beast was going to return…

 

She picked up the pregnancy test…her heart sinking and rejoicing when she saw the positive mark…sitting down on the bathroom floor yet again with her back leaning against the wall…her hand resting on her stomach…

 

She was going to have a baby…the baby of the man she loved with all her heart and who most likely the same man she had been bonded to all those years ago…who had forgotten her…who would believe her if she tried to talk to him about this…she didn’t know what to do…but one thing was for sure…she would have to face the beast again…but what terrified her more was telling Seto that he was going to be a father…

[cheemscakecat]

Things in American Supermarkets that are not worth buying.

Just in case anyone was planning to stay for a while and was getting catfished by the advertisements.

Boxed scalloped/AU gratin potatoes. These potatoes are dehydrated so they’ll keep in the box, and they never rehydrate to the soft texture you want when making these sides. Buying an actual bag of potatoes is a better deal because you can prepare them any way you wish, and you don’t have to use the whole bag at once.

2. Digorno pizza. Not all frozen pizzas are bad, in fact I’d recommend Red Baron because the crust actually gets to a consistent crunchier texture, and the middle is warmer. Digorno’s is bad because the thick crust is lukewarm and dough-ey in the middle. Red Baron also comes in a big 3-pack if you go to Sam’s Club.

3. Frozen TV meals in general. Some things are ok, like the Stouffer’s lasagna, but most dishes do not translate well to being frozen and reheated. The meats in the standard meatloaf, chicken, and Salisbury steak meals are pretty mediocre, but passable. Noodles are usually mushy and not satisfying to eat. A good rule of thumb is not to buy anything that sounds too experimental, like a dish from another culture or something with a gimmick, like celebrity frozen meals.

4. Canned soup as a meal. There are two good reasons to buy Campbells meal soup; for a child or for someone who’s sick. Their cream of soups are ingredients that can be used in casseroles, and they work well. But canned soups meant to be eaten as a meal have mushy noodles and potatoes that are too firm; and some supermarkets have fresh soup for you to take home and heat up. Go for the fresh stuff in the plastic containers near the pre-wrapped deli sandwiches.

5. Hamburger Helper. Supermarket dry pasta can sell for as little as a dollar for a pound, and there are a variety of sauces to choose from. You can even make a casserole using cream of soup and partially cooked dry pasta.

Hamburger Helper is made in a skillet, so there’s always pasta getting stuck or only partially cooked, leaving you with inconsistent and unsatisfying textures when you eat it. College students who aren’t cooking for a crowd usually indulge in this boxed pasta, which is understandable. But you can also freeze your leftovers or meal prep when you make a pasta dish yourself.

6. The cheap snack cake brand donuts. I might get some flack for this, but they aren’t worth it in my opinion. America has a plethora of actual donuts that you can buy, that are the right texture. Krispy Crème donuts are commonly found in convenient stores, and some supermarkets have their own donut case next to the cake and bakery bread.

Cheap snack cake donuts are dry on the inside whether it’s the powdered sugar or chocolate variant, so you always need something to wash them down with. Actual donuts are fluffy, soft bread on the inside, with a good glaze, frosting, or filling for sweetness. There are better snack cakes than these.

[dirk-rider]

Being a bigshot branch manager was more work than Jake expected when he began climbing the corporate ladder, and to say the day had been treating Jake well would be a falsehood.

Jake’s secretary, Dirk, had taken the day off, which was already a poor start. He tried to think of the positives though, such as how he’d start the day with a meeting over breakfast. He liked when Dirk scheduled them over meals, as the food gave him an excuse to speak less as his thoughts were still muddled by sleep.

Then Jake had requested a meeting over tea. He felt it was important to the atmosphere. And what’s a cup of tea without hors d'oeuvres? So he’d ordered a plate of sandwiches as well.

After that he was certainly a bit full, but not full enough to complain. Unfortunately for him, this meant he had little out for his proposed lunch. And sure, he could have ordered something light, but that might send the impression that he wanted to get away from this client as fast as possible. No, that wouldn’t do. So he ordered a plate of ribs.

The drive back home was tough, now full to nearly max capacity and kind nearly oozing melatonin, but he got through it by thinking about the fact that, once he was alone, he could rub at his gut and maybe get things to move on faster. And it wasn’t like he had any more meals planned for the day, Dirk certainly couldn’t cook.

Unfortunately for him, Dirk couldn’t cook.

As he stepped into the foyer, he heard Dirk call his name.

TT: Hey, Jake, you’re just in time.

TT: I’m in the kitchen, come join me?

Oh dear lord.

GT: Hello dirk! What have you been up to today?

The question was tentative, as Jake had an answer in mind which he was not a fan of for multiple reasons. And, upon joining Dirk in the kitchen, his answer was proven correct.

TT: Well, Jake, I feel like deductive reasoning could answer that question for you.

GT: Ah. Cooking?

TT: No shit, Sherlock. Check the spread.

In all honesty, the food didn’t look all too atrocious, though certainly nothing fancy. Centered on the table was a bowl of spaghetti, and the pasta seemed to have come out well. A bowl of tomato sauce rested beside it, as well as a bag of mixed cheeses. As Dirk pulled out a chair for Jake, Jake noticed that a few slices of… toast? were placed upon his plate as well, thankfully not burnt this time.

TT: Take a seat, man, food’s gettin cold.

GT: Well- dirk- this is very kind of you! But… why?

TT: What, can a bro not make another bro a plate of spaghetti? You’ve been workin’ hard, figured you might need some fuel.

GT: Well thats very thoughtful but you know i have spent all day eating- you scheduled the meetings yourself!

TT: Hm, did I? I don’t remember doing that. Doesn’t sound like me. C’mon, Jake, sit.

GT: Well dirk i have the physical evidence right here.

TT: What evidence? I don’t see jack, man.

GT: Dirk just *look* at this dangblasted… bouncing… bulge of a belly im sporting!

Jake huffed and patted his stomach.

TT: Oh man, you look sooo big. Big deal, you ARE big. Don’t look any fatter than you did this morning.

Jake blushed a bit.

GT: Thats kind of my point! You have been feeding me nonstop! Dont you think my gut could use a bit of a break???

TT: No, no I don’t. Now c’mon big boy, what do you want on your pasta?

Jake sighed, realizing he was too tired to continue arguing with someone who could bullshit his way through nearly every conflict he came across.

GT: …The marina smells rather good. As does the meat.

TT: Theeere we go. Start on the bread while I get the rest of your plate set up?

So Jake complied. He brought a slice of vaguely wet toast to his mouth and was pleasantly surprised by the flavor.

GT: Mm dirk whatch on thish? It feels- *gulp*- it feels… well a bit mushy if im honest. But it tastes wonderful!

TT: That’s the result of a shitton of butter. Melted faster than I would’ve liked, to explain the texture. But I’m glad it tastes alright.

Jake brought it back to his lips and quickly finished off the slice. He was going to reach for the second when Dirk put a hand to his and set a larger plate in front of Jake.

TT: Slow down on the bread, would you? You’re fillin’ up on unnecessary carbs before the big event.

GT: The entirety of this meal can be described as “unnecessary carbs” dirk. Ive already eaten my fair share for today!

TT: Yeah yeah whatever, quit opening your mouth if you’re not going to put something in it.

Jake rolled his eyes but once again complied, and he wasn’t displeased with the flavors. Sure, not a culinary masterpiece, but he could tell effort had been put into the meal. The effort became more obvious as a relatively large chunk of garlic entered his mouth and his brows furrowed as he swallowed it.

GT: Did you cut the garlic cloves yourself?

TT: Yeah, man, store was low on any actual spaghetti sauce so I made do with tomato paste and whatever else I could find that smelled Italian.

Jake smiled at that, and a giggle bubbled up and out of his pretty, plush lips. Dirk grinned.

TT: You think that’s funny?

GT: I do indeed. You really need some practice cooking!

TT: Well that was kind of the point of takin’ today off. I wanted more ways to take care of my princess.

Jake averted his eyes and smiled wider.

GT: You *did* put all day into this dish. Least i could do is eat it…

TT: It really is. Got my blood, sweat, tears, and various other fluids up in this bitch.

GT: Gosh dirk even your… you-know-what?

TT: Cum?

Jake nodded.

TT: Oh man, nah. I’ve been dangling precariously off the edge all damn day, Jake. Haven’t even hoisted myself up with a bit of touching. 

GT: What over?

TT: Your deductive reasoning skills have taken a sharp decline tonight, huh?

Jake jokingly punched Dirk in the arm.

GT: I would like you to say it.

TT: After that display of violence? No thank you. My thoughts are stayin’ locked up and private, maybe I’ll blue-ball YOU in the process.

GT: You know im a fan of blue genitalia.

Now Dirk was laughing.

TT: Fine, fine.

TT: I’d like it if you’d eat all of this, really reach capacity for me. 

TT: In my fantasies the meal would, ideally, be complimented by one of my drinks, but I get if you really are too full for that.

GT: I *am* feeling a bit parched…

TT: Well, shit, alright.

TT: Keep eating and I’ll grab you something.

Dirk got up to grab a drink for Jake and Jake continued eating. Maybe he was eating a bit faster than he should have been but he wanted this part over relatively quickly so he could get to the whole belly rubbing part faster.

The food was seeming better each bite he took, and after he grabbed a pinch of the cheese blend and sprinkled that over top, he decided that the meal was actually pretty good.

By the time Dirk was back Jake had finished about half of his plate.

TT: Okay, Jake. One bottle of Fanta front and goddamned center for your sensory enjoyment.

GT: Oh man i thought youd come back with just a can. You really think i can drink all that??

TT: With enough push? Yeah, man, definitely. You don’t have to finish it in one go, don’t worry-

Jake grabbed the bottle from Dirk’s hand and untwisted the cap, then brought it to his mouth and began, well, drinking would be an understatement. Jake was chugging down that bottle, greedy for the sensation and doubly so for Dirk’s praise.

About a third of the way in he was forced to call it quits, and as he parted from the bottle his panting was interrupted by a long, airy brruuu•UUo°･uurrrrph~!!

TT: Whoa.

GT: Hah- thank you dirk! That one felt. Whoo. That one felt good. I think it might have cleared up some space.

TT: Fuck, man, it sure as hell SOUNDED like it did. God, man, what am I going to do with you.

GT: Well you could start with a bit of care on the ol tum. Would you do that for me?

Dirk nodded more enthusiastically than he would’ve liked and put a hand on Jake’s stomach. It was much more notable how full he was when Dirk could actually feel the tightness in Jake’s midsection, even if beneath a good layer of fat.

GT: Alrighty then. Back to work!

Jake began eating with renewed vigor. His stomach now burbled idly under Dirk’s hands, fueled further by the occasional swig of orange substance. He finished his plate far faster than he had expected to, Dirk’s nonverbal encouragement making it much less of a chore to swallow.

When Dirk realized the plate was empty he fixed the issue, and the rest of the pasta now sat in front of Jake, save Dirk’s portion.

GT: Youre on top of it today! I might be too full to finish the rest of this though.

TT: Are you?

GT: No. 

GT: But you didn’t even take a second to contemplate whether i was or was not. You eager beaver already - *hic!* - loaded my plate!

TT: Not the only thing I’ll be loading tonight.

Jake ignored what Dirk had just implied by grabbing another forkful of pasta and shoving it into his mouth.