#but mostly i'm sitting there thinking they both deserve better

[sandalaris]

Man, every time I start to think Sheldon and Amy are cute on screen, the show goes and shows me why Amy would be happier finding someone more on her level. Sheldon too would be happier had he never gotten tangled up in feelings but at least it makes sense for his character to fight such things. I guess it make sense for Amy to cling in a relationship, as we see with Penny (and the shows utter cowardice in not making Amy -and Raj- bisexual is just a crime!), but a guy being a maybe-sorta-boyfriend is no reason to decide he's the best you can do and cling to him. I love Amy, but she needs wake up and realize that Sheldon's not gonna be what she wants or needs.

I suppose it's growth for Sheldon to admit he wants and needs people in his life. I just don't think they should've gone there with him and Amy. Leave them as just friends and let Amy explore her sexuality with other guys (and girls!) while Sheldon looks on and starts to wonder about his own capabilities in developing a pair bond. The show could then bring him attempting to date or leave him to his strongly aromantic coded self who wants companionship in the forms of strong friendships.

But yeah, the only couple I find I'm actually enjoying and seeing as a good decision is Howard/Bernadette.

[bokutosbabe]

Call It What You Want To

(soft launching with the bllk boys)

a / n — i love soft launches and blue lock…so why not combine them?

content — fluff, cutesie stuff, bllk characters x fem! reader, pretty much gn! but i did use ‘she’ so just to be safe, + your faves if you want!!

synopsis — soft launches with the boyfies <3

✿.｡. “ nobody’s heard from me for months , ” .｡.✿

is NEVER on social media. has accounts of course, but never posts on them. usually the most they do is repost things about soccer on their stories. so when they post these pictures as their first post EVER? it’s inevitable that their fans are going to go insane.

they preferred posting these pictures, neither of your faces showing. you’d both decided to keep your relationship “private but not secret” , if someone were to find out it was you in these photos? so be it. they would never dream of hiding you from the world.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ RIN ITOSHI, barou shouei, sae itoshi, jinpachi ego

they don't have many posts, but the ones they do have no less than a million likes each. their fans are adoring, so when they post a new photo, thousands of people get the notification and within seconds the post has 200k likes.

their fans are insane, and that's putting it lightly. they find your account within a minute all by looking at your phone case and finding your account.

the both of you wake up the next morning and find yourselves not only trending on twitter, but also with thousands of edits made of the two of you. AND A SHIP NAME??

so much for a soft launch.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ YUKIMIYA KENYU(im biased), shido ryusei, MICHAEL KAISER, hyoma chigiri

a chronic poster. i mean literal photo dumps GALORE. they had many fans, obviously with them being a famous soccer player, but also because of how 'real' they were. they would constantly post stories in the bathroom and ranting- all that fun stuff.

their fans had no indication that they'd been in a relationship at all. which was strange because due to their openness, their fans began thinking they deserved to know every little thing about them.

they just wanted to keep you their little secret for a little bit, so they posted these very inconspicuous photos and had the internet up in a frenzy.

soccerluver44: WHO IS THIS??

urmomshouse: no way

and thousands of comments just like that flooded their inbox.

this was fun, they thought. maybe for a little while longer they'd keep you their little secret. the thought crossed their mind as they pressed the 'your story' button, posting a photo of them sitting on the sink with your arms wrapped around them.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ MEGURU BACHIRA, isagi yoichi, EITA OTOYA, oliver aiku

not a constant poster, but definitely has a social media presence. they mostly post about their upcoming games and where to get tickets and watch. they definitely don't post about their personal life, so when people log on and see a soft launch??

the world goes into a state of shock. the comments are limited, so no one besides people they follow back (most of which who already knew of the relationship) are allowed to comment.

they did this on purpose. they saw no point in having strangers question them when the caption said it all

" spoiling my girl <3 "

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ REO MIKAGE, tabito karasu, jyubei aryu, DON LORENZO

✿.｡. “ i'm doing better than i ever was ” .｡.✿

took myself to the computer version to do this since there's a photo limit on the mobile version.

hope yall liked it though, i've never done anything like this before!!

likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!!

[buckys-arm-and-rios-dagger]

Release

Bucky x GN!Reader

Description: Imagine Bucky crying during Aftercare

Warnings: Subby Bucky, mentions of sex, nudity? I mean it's after sex but the fact that you're both naked isn't super touched on, Bucky doesn't talk much in this one, crying, vague mentions of bondage, some angst, mostly fluff

A/N: This is probably the closest I'll ever get to writing smut so… enjoy? Anyways, this Sweet Boy just deserves to be taken care of and treated so gently 💜💙

((18+ only below the cut please and thank you!!))

Imagine Bucky crying during Aftercare.

Maybe it's because this was the first time he's had sex in years, or maybe it's just because his emotions are running high and he's having trouble calming down, but either way he feels tears start to slip down his face as he waits for you to return with a cloth to wipe him down. He's embarrassed by it, and to be honest he's not even sure why he's doing it. You had made him feel so good, and he felt so safe surrendering control over to you. He felt so warm inside, especially where you had left a trail of kisses along his stomach and chest while whispering words of praise.

“That's it, Baby. Just like that. You're doing so good.”

“You're such a good boy Bucky, you always try so hard for me.”

“You're doing so so good, Honey, I'm so proud of you.”

Even after you had pulled his first orgasm from him in decades, even after you were both left breathless and smiling you had still taken the time to be so gentle with him. You'd massaged his wrists after removing the restraints that had bound them over his head, kissing the pulse point of both, even though he couldn't feel it in the Vibranium, and had checked on the love bites you had left on his neck (the only pain you had caused him, something you'd agreed upon before you'd began) with the utmost care. He loves you so much.

Bucky buries his face in the pillow when you return, hoping to hide his tears, but you see through him easily. Setting the washcloth down on the bedside table, you rush to his side, sitting down on the bed.

“Bucky?” He pulls his head out of the fabric and looks at you with red, puffy eyes, “are you alright?”

You can see him trying to focus, trying to think through the fog. So, you take his face in both hands, gently thumbing away the tears.

“Sweetheart, I know it's hard right now but I need you to use your words for me, okay?” You coo, brushing his sweat drenched hair from his eyes, “I just want to make sure you're okay, that you aren't hurt.”

“‘Not hurting,” Bucky replies after some effort, “‘feel good. Dunno why…”

More tears slip down his face. You gently cradle his head, running your fingers through his hair.

“Are you a little emotional right now, Sweet Boy?” You ask. He nods, “oh, Honey…”

“‘m sorry,” Bucky whimpers against your skin, and you feel your heart shatter in your chest.

“Oh, Baby Boy, you don't have to apologize. You didn't do anything wrong. It's normal, Bucky. It's okay.”

You started to sway side to side with him, and continue to rock him and stroke his hair until he calms down. Once he's feeling better, you re-wet the washcloth and once he's ready you wipe the sweat and other fluids from his skin, asking for his permission before cleaning his most sensitive areas. Once he's cleaned, you grab him a glass of water. Bucky’s too tired and too worked up to sit up and drink it, so you hold his head and press the glass to his lips, letting him drink his fill. Once he’s done, you place the glass on the nightstand. Bucky still has tears in his eyes, but on the whole he seems to have calmed down since you found him.

“I was gonna suggest a bath,” you tell him, brushing the hair from his eyes, “but we can do that later. Right now it looks like you just need some cuddles, don't you?”

More tears slip down his face as he nods, and you settle into bed beside him. You wrap the Super Soldier in your arms, cradling his head against your chest and rubbing large, soothing circles into his back. Bucky holds onto for all he's worth, like an anchor. A lifeline. Yout hand reaches up and runs through his hair as you press a kiss to the top of his head.

“Take a nap, Baby Boy,” you whisper, “I'll watch over you. I'll be here when you wake up. I love you.”

Your soft spoken declarations are met with the sound of Bucky’s peaceful snores as he drifts off, safe and warm in your arms.

[redr0sewrites]

How do you think Aaravos would act when his a s/o is on their period? (Can you tell I'm on my period and need comfort)

OOOOOO!!!! i feel SO bad i haven't written for aaravos (or tdp in general) for wayyyyyy too long tdp is still my main hyperfixation yall

🥀Cw: mostly fluff with a bit of suggestiveness/mentions of how orgasms help cramps, afab reader

🥀minors dni with the nsfw portion

sfw:

listen, aaravos is SOOO attentive. he probably has your cycle memorized better than YOU. he's always prepared for when you're on your period, and will approach you about it a few days before it starts

aaravos is amazing when your on your period as he never undermines you, and while he doesn't relate to your experience he definitely sympathizes with you and supports you any way he can

his powers come in handy a lot, and whenever your having bad cramps he can very easily heat up his hands or cool them down and become your own personal heating/cooling pad. he also gives wonderful massages and can also attempt spells/potions that may work as painkillers for you

aaravos is a FANTASTIC cuddler, he's 6,9 ft of pure warmth and loves holding you when you're on your period. if you're feeling emotional or sad in general aaravos is genuinely always willing to comfort you, as he hates seeing you in distress

he may tease you a little to help lighten the mood, but if you get upset or annoyed he'll stop

speaking of when you're annoyed, if you are especially irritable on your period, aaravos takes it surprisingly well. if you snap at him he'll just brush it off or roll his eyes, he knows your feeling shitty and that you'll feel bad later. he might get a little pouty though, and will be clingy when you two are trying to sleep

if you get headaches on your period aaravos is more than willing to accommodate you. he'll gently cup your face, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before getting a damp towel to lay across your eyes

as much as you want to rot in bed while you're on your period, aaravos will encourage you to be at least a little active. he might take you for calming walks where you won't run into others, or even just slow dance with you in the comfort of your own home while lofty music plays in the background

aaravos will run lavish baths for you om your period with bubbles and fancy soaps and anything your heart desires. he really does love pampering you at heart and will gladly sit at the edge of the tub and wash your hair or massage your scalp while you bathe and relax

nsfw:

during his research on how to help comfort you, aaravos stumbled upon the fact that orgasms can help relieve period cramps. he was quick to bring it up to you, for "research purposes" kinky bitch.

he'll be gentle ofc, laying a towel beneath you both and treating you with the utmost care (unless... u tell him not to.... then thats a different story)

period sex soon becomes a pretty common occurrence as its a great experience for you both. aaravos adores how sensitive you are and loves seeing how easy it is to stimulate you. he'll tease you a lot and then overstimulate you, relishing in every noise you make

it's obviously wonderful for you as well bc??? duh???? it feels amazing and aaravos always makes you feel divine

he's a lot more into praising you during period sex rather than degrading, he thinks that your something to be worshipped and absolutely loves showering you with all the praise you deserve

aaravos enjoys mirror sex in general, but especially during your period. je likes showing you how gorgeous you are during this time of the month and is not afraid to be a little mean with his praise. if theres a trait you have that your particularly anxious or insecure about, aaravos looveessss praising you over and over about it until you can't help but agree.

aaravos always does great aftercare as well when your on your period. you both often get pretty messy, so the first thing he does is conjure a wet towel to wipe you both down. then he'll run you a bath and let you relax while he changes the sheets/bedding before joining you in the bath.

yk that audio that's like "HEEEEE'SSSS BAAAACK" on tiktok? thats what i feel like rn when im posting something for tdp for the first time in like months. (i don't have tiktok but i keep seeing tiktoks on pinterest 💀) ANYWAYSSSSSS HOPE U WNJOYED!!! ive been falling back into some of my old fandoms (tdp, acotar, etc) along w some new ones so feel free to send in requests!!! i am VERY anxiously awaiting tdp s6 hehe

[a34trgv2]

Top 10 Cartoons I Hate But Many Others Like

#10. The Amazing Digital Circus: Yes, I'm aware only 2 episodes have been made of this cartoon. I'm also aware that both episodes have been praised by viewers and critics alike. As much as I would love to join in on the fun, I cannot ignore how badly structured it is. From the unlikable characters, the poor world building, the unfocused narrative to the lackluster jokes, poor handling of themes and lack of stakes, this it the kind of unmitigated mess that more infamously bad cartoons are ripped to shreds over. I will say that the animation and voice acting is well done so it's not all bad.

#9. The Owl House: Many people were disappointed by my disappointment with this disappointing cartoon. But no one was more disappointed that I was left cold by the show than me. I love fantasy, magic, mystical creatures and enchanting worlds. The Owl House should've been up my ally, yet in practice I wouldn't even spit in it's direction. With an irritating cast of characters, bad world building, formulaic plots, the writing was already on the wall. Then Amity showed up and it made the show unbearable to sit through. I'm all for LGBTQ rep, but I draw the line at a bully and their victim becoming and item. I'm sure Amity has some sappy sob story about how her parents pressured her into being an entitled brat, but she's still and entitled brat that shouldn't even have friends, nevermind a girlfriend, because her attitude STINKS!

#8. The Loud House: I've made it no secret that despite the warm reception and continued popularity of The Loud House, I was never a fan. I never found it funny, well written, or relatable. All I got from The Loud House was this is one of the most annoying dysfunctional families I've ever seen. I do think it's well animated and I commend the crew for moving forward with the show despite the disgraced creator's termination.

#7. Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur: I consider myself a big Marvel fan thanks to the MCU and Spider-Man franchises. I never heard of Moon Girl or Devil Dinosaur before this show was announced, so I was genuinely curious to see how this would play out. Needless to say, I was not impressed. Despite having dazzling visuals and really good voice acting, the show is just badly made with terrible writing, unfunny jokes, dull characters, and repetitive action scenes. This show clearly has its fans, but unfortunately I'm not one of them.

#6. Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous: Those who know me know I love dinosaurs and am a huge Jurassic Park fan. You'd think a cartoon based on the series would be as exciting and interesting as the movies. Well like so many of the dinosaurs victims, you'd be DEAD WRONG! This show shoots itself in the foot by having 6 unlikable and annoying characters, and not one gets eaten by a dinosaur. Not to mention it's sluggishly paced, the animation is stiff, and the score only reminds me of the movies I'd rather be watching. Clearly I'm in the minority here as I had a blast watching ALL the Jurassic Park movies, even the ones critics didn't like at all, over this.

#5. We Bare Bears: I like bears as much as the next guy, with my favorite cartoon bear of all time being Winnie The Pooh. Despite my fascination with this big, furry creatures, We Bare Bears never made me like the main trio, much less love them. They're all varying degrees of unlikable and the show isn't funny or well written to keep me engaged. They also did San Francisco dirty by making the people so unlikable. The one element that I think would've made for a much more interesting show is Chloe Park. Her character was utterly wasted on this stupid show as she's a kid with a high IQ and is in college but still wants to be a kid. She deserves better.

#4. The Mitchells vs The Machines: As much as I like Sony pushing for more expiremental animated films lately, this expirement didn't succeed in my book. Sure, the animation is amazing and the voice acting's mostly good, but tells such a generic story, has such incompetent and unlikable characters, and I will never get over the fact that Aaron Mitchell sounds like a middle-aged man and not, you know, A CHILD! The worst part about this film is despite it's best efforts, it is just NOT funny. It relies so much on cringy, outdated memes, weak slapstick, and dull visual gags and I never once found it funny.

#3. El Deafo: I was confused as to what this show was supposed to be based on the trailer. Watching it for myself, I found that it was more frustrating than anything. Don't get me wrong, I commend author Cece Bell for turning her personal struggles with impaired hearing into a comic turned cartoon and I fully understand wanting to tell a story from a deaf person's perspective. That said, though, I just despised the execution from the awful writing, the unlikable characters to the terrible sound mixing. As pure as the intentions were, they were sorely lost in the execution in my opinion.

#2. Frog and Toad: When I was a kid, I loved reading the Frog and Toad books. They were simple, yes, but the characters were so interesting and the illustrations were well crafted. This show should've been exactly what I was looking for in an adaptation of the books. What I got instead was a prime example of how NOT to adapt a beloved children's series. Despite having spot on voice acting, the abysmal writing, the incompetent characters, and the lackluster animation really soured the experience. I know the author's children were involved in this, but I don't think they did the books justice. The show didn't take full advantage of the medium and played more like mediocre live reading of the books.

#1. Summer Camp Island: I clearly struck a nerve with fans of the show when I said I hated it. Well, y'all will be please to know that your efforts to change my mind were all in vain. I just couldn't get passed how badly written it was, how hatable the characters were, how grossly unfunny it was. The worst part is that this is a world where anthropomorphic animals and mystical creatures exist, yet they can't tell anyone about the magic on the island. To this very day, I CALL BOLONGA!

Conclusion: I'm not saying y'all are wrong for liking these show and you definitely won't see me call them "overrated." I just wanna offer a different perspective on these popular and well liked cartoons. Some honorable mentions include Miraculous Ladybug (many people love it, I can't stand it), The Ghost and Molly McGee (you all know how I feel about that chatterbox), and the "adult" cartoons that received critical acclaim such as Rick & Morty, Smiling Friends, Bob's Burgers and The Simpsons. Agree? Disagree? Let me know in the comments and I'll see you next time.

[the-way-astray]

The Ultimate Anti-Keefe Sencen Rant (Part One: Keeper through the first half of Unlocked)

taglist: @ahoyimlosingmymind @lucyshypemaster @myfairkatiecat @lilliesandlight @noideawhattodoorsay @sacrificialloving @i-want-to-be-hit-by-a-car @loreintheaether @whatistheretofearlookatrunfrom

Disclaimers before I start:

Do not, I repeat, do not hit that read more button right now. You will regret it. I promise you, you want to open this post in a new tab before you hit that button. This post brings new meaning to the word "long". To give you some numbers, this post is about 75 pages long in Google Docs, size 12 Times New Roman font. It took me more than three hours to read through it. You shouldn't expect to read this entire thing in one sitting. Do not, under any circumstances, hit that button without opening this post in a new tab. I'm warning you.

This rant will be very biased against Keefe. I'm only listing the things I do not like about Keefe. I have not listed a single thing I enjoy about him, few that there are. So if you're going into this looking for an unbiased "pros and cons" analysis, you've come to the wrong place. This is not an analysis. This is a rant. Do not confuse the two.

I will only list things I do not like about Keefe. If you want to argue that "oh, but [other character] did that too, and you didn't mention them!!!" that's because I'm not getting into any gripes with any other characters in this particular post. I despise Forkle just as much as I despise Keefe, for instance, but this is not a Mr. Forkle rant. This is a Keefe rant. This is solely focused on the things I do not like about Keefe. I may or may not agree with you on whether that other character that supposedly did the same thing deserves to be scrutinized for it, but the point still stands that I will not be getting into any Keefe vs. [other character] debates. In my rant, I do occasionally compare Keefe to other characters, but that's just to highlight my points about Shannon's treatment of him.

I am not a Sophitz shipper. I don't ship Sophie with anyone, actually. This rant does not come from a place of "Fitz is a better love interest for Sophie because Keefe sucks so much!!!" I will just put that to bed right now.

Feel free to pick fights with me or tell me that I'm not being fair. Feel free to counter every single one of my arguments. But please don't make bad faith arguments like "Keefe was basically just waiting around for Sophie and Fitz to break up in Legacy!!!" that are just not true in the slightest. (Yes, that is in defense of Keefe, I'm just trying to show an example of a bad faith argument.) I tried my best to be fair and not extrapolate anything beyond what I genuinely think Shannon Messenger intended for the audience to understand. So if you want to make a counter-argument, I kind of expect the same.

I actually really like fanon Keefe. No problems there whatsoever. Every single gripe I have is with canon Keefe. So, obviously I will only be discussing canon Keefe moments in this rant. I won't be talking about fandom issues at all.

My problems arise with both Keefe the person (his personality) and Keefe the character (the way he's written/his character arcs/development), so obviously this will be heavily critical of Shannon Messenger's writing. Just be aware. But I don't hate Shannon. In YouTuber withcindy's words, I find her writing to be unbearable sometimes, but I hope she gets her coin. I don't want this to make anyone hate Shannon. I don't hate her, her writing choices just frustrate me sometimes and I think it's fair to criticize them. There are many things I love about Keeper, like the worldbuilding (I have an entire post in my drafts ranting about how great the world is for the themes Keeper's trying to convey). I directly "address" Shannon at several points, but that's mostly for the sake of not making this a boring slog to get through.

I don't have physical copies of Keeper, Exile, Lodestar, or Nightfall as of the making of this rant. So quotes from those don't have citations. Every other book has a page number. I probably should've cited chapter numbers instead for those four but I didn't think of that at the time. Oh, well.

This will be very negative and discourse-y. I'm not really planning on sugar-coating anything. In my opinion, it's really important to be able to criticize the things you love, and I do love Keeper. So if you want to have a purely positive, uncritical fandom experience, it's probably not a good idea to keep going. Also, if you ship Sokeefe or like Keefe, just be prepared. While I personally do not believe they/he were written well, I understand that some people do enjoy them/him. I don't want this rant to make any people that genuinely love Sokeefe or Keefe start hating them/him. If you don't like Keefe or Sokeefe, you've probably come to the right place.

This entire rant is my personal opinion. We can agree to disagree. I get that some things I say are completely subjective, such as when I talk about Keefe's humor. That doesn't mean I think that anyone who loves Keefe's sense of humor is an idiot. I do use some strong language to describe some things, but that doesn't mean I think people who have different opinions than me are stupid. We just clearly have different tastes when it comes to things like this.

New disclaimer that I need to add right before posting this: I am not that blue anon (or any anti-Sokeefe or anti-Keefe anon). I don't even know how they managed to do that on anon. I also don't think Keefe was emotionally cheating with Sophie in Legacy. That's a completely bizarre statement to make. However, I do find that some of that person's statements are valid, however weirdly and passive-aggressively they made them, but I'm going to try to address it in a more respectful manner. So hopefully, if you continue reading this and you do like Sokeefe or Keefe, you at least understand where I'm coming from.

Keeper

“‘I mean, I can’t really blame her’—he gestured to himself—’but still, it’s awkward, you know?’” I don’t tend to like characters that brag about their looks. I know it’s a popular male-love-interest trope, but I can’t stand it. It makes the author feel like they’re trying way too hard to make the character ““““““cool””””””. Yes, I know he’s joking, but it quickly goes way too far later.

“From his disheveled blond hair to the way he’d rolled up his sleeves and left his shirt untucked, she could tell—he was cool.” Again, the narrative tries way too hard to get us to buy into the “cool bad boy” thing and it just makes me cringe so hard.

“He clearly wasn’t going to let it go [ . . . ]” Just keep in mind, Keefe just met Sophie a second ago and he’s already starting to push her for things she doesn’t want to tell. Yes, in this case, it isn’t particularly serious, but this definitely becomes a habit later on.

“‘Wow, most girls would be crying about a wound like that—most guys too. Even I’d be playing it up for sympathy and stuff.’” Going to let this go because they fix Keefe’s sexist comments in the graphic novel, so it clearly wasn’t intended for him to come across that way, but I’d just like to say that I’m so tired of the casual sexism in YA novels as a way of making a male love interest seem “cooler” or “snarkier”. It makes me cringe every time. (Keefe isn’t the only one that’s like this either. Fitz and Dex both make similarly sexist comments as well earlier: “What is it with girls?” said by Fitz and “Girls” said by Dex.) It comes across as even more annoying when you consider the whole thing about how the Lost Cities are supposed to be gender-equal. Shannon. What the heck.

“‘Makeovers?’ Keefe scoffed behind them. ‘You girls sure know how to have fun. Maybe you can braid each other’s hair and giggle about boys while you’re at it.’” Again, I’m going to let this go because they fix it in the graphic novel, but oh, boy. I have no idea what Shannon was thinking when she wrote this. All the guys make sexist comments, but Keefe easily gets it the worst. It just proves my point about how Shannon jacked it all the way up to eleven in an attempt to make Keefe “cool” and “funny”. 

“‘Actually, maybe that last part is a good idea. You could get the dirt on Foster, find out which guys make her heart go pitter-patter.’” This is completely subjective, but I find Keefe’s general sense of humor to be incredibly cringy. Like, who talks like that and doesn’t immediately cringe at themselves??? In real life, if someone spoke like that, I can guarantee that everyone around them would laugh at them. Also, he still doesn’t know Sophie very well and he continues to put her on the spot.

“‘Eh, that’s what they all say. But deep down girls always have one guy they can’t take their eyes off—isn’t that right, Fitz?’ ‘Why are we talking about this?’ Fitz complained.” Say what you will about Fitz, but I will forever be grateful to him for shutting down that nauseatingly cringy shitshow.

“‘Aw, don’t go getting good at alchemy, Foster.’” Again, this is completely subjective, but I find the way he calls Sophie by her last name to be a cheap trick to make him seem funnier and cooler. Which, in my humble opinion, it doesn’t.

“He winked, reaching for her hand.” Again, completely subjective, but my number one pet peeve when it comes to love interests in fiction is winking. Why is it that everytime an author wants to make a guy “cool”, they just make him wink so much you’d believe he has an eye twitching disorder??? Keefe is so unoriginal as a character. I have seen this sort of male love interest a thousand times in a thousand different YA series. 

“‘It’s almost too easy to annoy you, you know that?’” The thing about Keefe is that he doesn’t just joke around. He usually jokes around with the intention to annoy or embarrass someone. 

“[ . . . ] forced instead to sit alone in the corner while Keefe winked at her [ . . . ]” He winked at her throughout the course of an entire detention??? Wow. That’s just. Okay.

[cut because character limit]

“‘What do we have here?’ Keefe asked, snatching a red box from her thinking cap. He was definitely back to his old self without his father around. He glanced at the card and cracked up. ‘“Dear Sophie. I really enjoyed our dance, and I hope we can do it again sometime. Love, Valin.”’” Another example of Keefe making jokes that are just straight up embarrassing for someone else. Also, he just grabbed her present like that without her permission??? 

“‘I’m just teasing—sheesh.’” Keefe literally pulled the “But it was just a joke!” excuse as justification for putting Sophie on the spot like that. Wow, such a great friend.

“Keefe nudged Dex’s arm, then grinned at Sophie. ‘Interesting.’ ‘What?’ Dex asked. ‘Which one’s your gift, Dex?’ Sophie interrupted. She didn’t have to be a mind reader to know what Keefe was going to tease Dex about.” Here we mark the start of Keefe using his empathy to learn people’s secrets without their consent. He feels not a hint of remorse for it, and instead uses it as a way to breach people’s boundaries and embarrass them. As a lot of people have already said, Keefe is the primary reason empathy should have similar restrictions on it to telepathy. 

“She stared at Dex for a minute, so amazed she wanted to hug him. She knew Keefe would have a field day, though, so she fought the urge.” You shouldn’t be scared to hug your friend in front of your other friend for fear of what the other friend will say. 

“He’d hardly looked at her gift when he opened it, too distracted by the tunic Keefe gave him, which had I know what you’re thinking—and you should be ashamed of yourself embroidered across the front.” I will give credit where credit is due, though. This was cute as hell. But it also makes me frustrated, because it shows that Keefe can be a good friend if he tries. It’s not like he straight-up doesn’t know how to. He just doesn’t. Which is arguably worse.

“‘Yeah, busy juggling two girlfriends,’ Keefe interrupted. Alvar grinned. ‘Three.’ ‘Three?’ Della’s voice was as horrified as her expression. ‘Alvar, that’s awful.’ ‘Are you kidding? It’s awesome!’ Keefe corrected. ‘You’re my hero.’” That’s right, everyone. The sweet, thoughtful, funny, perfect Keefe dreams of being a cheater one day. What the heck, Shannon? Why would you make a guy you clearly want your audience to like and will eventually be the love interest a wannabe cheater? It’s clearly because she wants to make him seem cool and funny! So hilarious. Although this is more on Alvar. I know the fandom headcanons about polyamory, but given the use of the word “juggling”, it’s more likely that Alvar is a cheater. But I will also assume that this was another product of Keeper’s time, and will be changed in the second part of the graphic novel.

“‘All right, enough girly drama,’ Keefe said, shoving his way in. ‘I was part of the rescue too, remember? I’m the one who knew the tree you told Fitz about was the Four Seasons Tree, so if it weren’t for me . . . ’” How self-centered do you have to be to make the rescue about yourself??? Like, my guy. Have some self-awareness. Also, acting like Biana apologizing is just “girly drama” instead of a very real emotional moment is so, so degrading (and misogynistic, yippee). Disgusting behavior (which I wouldn’t mind if he ever apologized for it and showed some development, but it’s Keefe, so he never does, of course). 

“‘Ella!’ Sophie buried her face between the floppy ears, ignoring Keefe’s snickers.” Imagine laughing at your supposed friend (and crush) during an emotionally and physically devastating recovery period because you found it funny that she sleeps with a stuffed animal.

Exile

“‘Hey, a guy’s gotta look his best for the ladies.’ Keefe patted the back of his head. ‘Right, Foster?’” Ah, Keefe’s trademark cringily atrocious “humor” starts again. 

“‘Why do you need my help? Aren’t you the expert?’ Keefe snickered. ‘Ooh, good one, Foster!’” Another thing I don’t like about Keefe is that Shannon uses him as narration sometimes in order to pat her own back over making a joke. Like here, Sophie makes a comment regarding Vika’s ability to train Silveny, and we, the audience are obviously supposed to be like “Ooh, good one, Sophie! Get her ass!” But instead of just letting the audience have their natural reaction, Shannon feels the need to tell us what she thinks we need to feel. It becomes annoying because Keefe does it so much. It’s like Shannon doesn’t trust that the audience will have the correct reaction, so she has Keefe have that reaction so the audience knows what to feel. It’s basically the writing equivalent of saying “Get it? Do you get the joke? The joke was that Sophie made fun of Vika. Do you get it now?” This is more a Shannon thing than a Keefe thing, but Keefe gets it the worst. 

“‘Lame. I vote for The Unstoppable Team Keefe! Or Team Foster-Keefe if you’re one of those egomaniacs who needs your name in there. I can share some credit.’” Ah, here we start with Keefe’s list of atrocious nicknames for things. It’s one of my least favorite aspects of the way Shannon writes “humor”.

“‘What was up with the whole Amazing Flying Foster routine?’” Completely subjective, but I find Keefe’s nicknaming tendencies really grating.

“‘That’s another day of detention, Mr. Sencen,’ Sir Rosings shouted. ‘And one for you, Miss Foster!’ ‘Ooh, we can be detention buddies again!’” It’s a little thing, but Keefe never feels regret when he gets someone else in trouble. He only lathers it up with more teasing. I’d be so angry if someone got me in trouble and it wasn’t even my fault. It’s just terrible behavior.

“‘I’m not talking about anyone. I’m talking about you. And I know you’re up to something. I can feel it.’ He grabbed her hand, sucking in a slow breath as the crease between his brows relaxed. ‘I can feel your hope. It’s not much—but it’s there. And there has to be a reason for it. Besides—you’re going to need my help. Who knows the Vackers better than me?’” Keefe uses his empathy to force his way into Sophie’s fixing-Alden’s-mind plan. He tries to read her emotions without her permission so that he can use it as justification to get her to let him help. It’s just so icky. He then manipulates Sophie by insisting she needs his help (even though she logically doesn’t). 

“‘It’s a date, Foster!’ Keefe shouted, turning every head in the corridor and making her grit her teeth so hard her jaw hurt. ‘Looking forward to it.’” Keefe stop humiliating Sophie in front of everyone challenge. 

“‘Wow—you really sleep with this thing? I thought Fitz was kidding when he gave it to you when you were recovering.’ Sophie snatched Ella away [ . . . ]” Keefe continues to make fun of Sophie for her stuffed animal tendencies. You know, it’s possible to be funny and make jokes without actively tearing people down. But wait, you may say. Keefe shows some development later because he starts to sleep with his own stuffed animal! Doesn’t that mean he learned and grew? No, I would argue back at you. The issue is not actually that Keefe made fun of Sophie’s stuffed animal in particular. The issue is that most of Keefe's jokes actively revolve around making fun of someone and putting them down. And that never changes, even later in the series. This is simply one example.

[cut because character limit]

“‘This isn’t nearly as exciting as I thought it would be,’ Keefe complained as Sophie finished explaining her theory about removing Alden’s guilt and how she was trying to track down her own journal. ‘When do we get to, like, fly into the line of fire or sneak away to the Forbidden Cities?’” Another thing I don’t like about Keefe: he’s so whiny. For no reason. Shannon loves to use his whininess to make him ““““““relatable””””””. And he never develops! Ever! Most of the things I list about Keefe here would be fine if Shannon acknowledged them as character flaws and let Keefe develop. But he never does.

“He reached out and brushed Grady’s arm. ‘Whoa—that is some serious tension radiating off of you. Is it that bad?’” Again, here we see an example of Keefe breaching boundaries and using his ability to get people to tell him things they aren’t comfortable telling him. If Keefe was a Telepath, this would be breaking the law. In case you care. 

“‘Is that a diary?’ Keefe asked as Sandor handed her the sparkly journal. He tried to snatch it, but Sophie yanked it away just in time.” I- I don't even have the words to describe how atrocious this behavior is. Keefe just casually tried to invade Sophie’s privacy. For a joke. And imagine if she had written something embarrassing in there and he’d managed to grab it from her. He’d never stop embarrassing her over it, never stop spilling its contents to other people casually in the name of “humor”. And he’d treat it like a joke, instead of a very serious breach of personal boundaries.

“‘Should’ve figured it would have something to do with a boy.’ ‘I was five, Keefe.’ ‘What, and cute boys didn’t exist when you were five? Well, it’s true you hadn’t met me yet, but . . . ’” Ah, Keefe’s trademark cringy-ass flirtation starts. For the record, I think this might be my least favorite aspect of Keefe’s “humor”. I don’t tend to like characters that go on about how good-looking they are. I just find it so incredibly cringy and tone-deaf. But that’s just my opinion.

“‘Now we know they still have the pages. So we just have to figure out a way to steal them back.’” Ah yes, Keefe’s straight-up stupidity, which isn't quite my least favorite quality of his, but is the most frustrating. He’s really, really stupid if he thinks he can just. Track down the Black Swan and steal the pages back from the infinite amount of places they could be. 

“‘Hey, Captain Mood Swing,’ Keefe said, gently grabbing her arm.” Keefe’s cringy sense of nicknaming humor continues. 

Also Keefe’s nickname for Silveny will never not be the most cringeworthy thing in the entire series. His nickname humor is already horrible enough, but combine it with his tendency to crack potty jokes like he’s six? Simply atrocious.

“‘It’s just a theory right now—I need to think it through.’ ‘You mean we,” Keefe said, hooking his arm through hers. “We need to think it through. Team Foster-Keefe!’” Keefe stop forcing yourself into Sophie’s personal business challenge.

[cut because character limit]

“‘So, let me get this straight,’ Keefe said when Sophie was done explaining the new plan. ‘We don’t know where we’re going, or how long it’s going to take us to get there, and we’re flying to meet the Black Swan—who may or may not be evil murderers—and this whole thing could be a trap?’ [ . . . ] ‘Awesome! ’Bout time this project got a bit more exciting.’” Keefe is so fucking tone-deaf. He learns they need to go meet the Black Swan (who at that point they thought were maybe-murderers) to heal Sophie and that’s what he says? Wow. Real upstanding guy. It really just shows how he thinks this whole thing is a game, not a serious issue. (Yes, I know he later says that his jokes are a mask and that he does care and see the seriousness in an issue, however that doesn’t change the fact that his jokes are just straight-up insensitive to the people around him.) Also, remember what I said about Shannon using Keefe as narration? She does it like this, too, where she’ll recap a lot of what she just wrote using Keefe as a mouthpiece, just to make sure the audience really gets it. It’s a sign of insecure writing. But it’s not boring recap exposition, because a funny character says it! Right, guys?

“‘Of course I told them. Sheesh—you act like I’m some sort of troublemaker.’ He winked.” Take a shot everytime Keefe winks. You won’t even make it through half the series. It highlights another issue I have with Keefe. He thinks he’s so cool. With the swagger and the winking and the hair and the clothes, he tries way too hard to be ““““““cool””””””. And for me it just makes him extra cringy. But that’s completely subjective. Yes, I am aware it is a mask. It does not make it any less cringy. It just doesn't feel like something anyone would ever do in real life. I don't know how to explain that it just feels unrealistically fake. It’s just so . . . try-hard-y to me. 

“‘No—for the millionth time. You’ll know when we are because we’ll stop flying.’ ‘Okay, that’s how I’ll know when we’re there. But how are you going to know?’” Another example of Keefe being intentionally annoying, and another example of Keefe being so stupid you have to wonder if his abusive parents dropped him on his head as a child. Two for one!

Keefe continues to be stupid and annoying on purpose for a few more lines of dialogue during this scene, but it’s too much and I don’t want to copy it all. I’ve already put a sample in the previous bullet. 

Have to say, I love how annoyed Sophie is by Keefe in Exile. Everytime she is forced to involve him, she expresses visible annoyance. Wish that carried through the entire series.

“But then he leaned closer—close enough that she could feel his breath on her cheek as he said, ‘I know I crack a lot of jokes, Sophie, but . . . that’s just because it’s easier, you know? It’s how I deal. But that doesn’t mean I don’t care. I do. A lot.’” Ah, the famous boy-behind-the-jokes confession scene. First of all, why does he need to lean closer and get all up in Sophie’s personal space??? Especially since they are already really close together. That is so ugh. Secondly, just because he uses humor as a coping mechanism, doesn’t mean his jokes have to be rude, annoying, embarrassing, cringy, over-the-top, cracked at the wrong times, and just plain stupid. It’s possible to have a sense of humor that’s, get this, actually funny and cheers people up instead of tearing them down.

[cut because character limit]

“‘You don’t have to be. I meant what I told Sandor. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.’” How chivalrous. And how exactly is he going to do that? By being stupid at the kidnappers? Just the fact that Keefe thinks that he can protect Sophie shows how unprepared he is. But seriously, Keefe has only demonstrated stupidity up until this point. I still don’t understand how Grady thought it was a good idea to involve him. He’s just as vulnerable as Sophie, so that’s just a second person that’ll get hurt if something goes wrong. He’s not a bodyguard and he doesn’t have any training or special experience that would qualify him to protect Sophie. He’s just some guy. I think the logic was “Sophie’ll have a second person to protect her in case of an emergency”, but that makes no sense, because Keefe can’t bring anything to the table in terms of protection for Sophie. But how else are we going to kickstart a fan-favorite ship?

“He leaned back, taking his warmth with him. But at least she felt like she could breathe again.” Yep, Sophie literally felt like she couldn’t breathe because Keefe was all up in her personal space.

Everblaze

“‘Want me to push you?’ Keefe offered, laughing as Sophie jerked away from him ‘Come on, it’ll be fun—for me at least.’” (4) I have a physical copy of Everblaze, so I can list page numbers, and boy it didn’t take long for Keefe’s jerkish tendencies to show. He literally admits to Sophie that he’d find it fun to watch her be uncomfortable, which not only makes him completely selfish, but also somewhat cruel.

“But he shot Sophie a look that seemed to say, You will tell me everything later [ . . . ]” (63) Again, an example of Keefe insisting he should be a part of Sophie’s personal business. Why does he constantly want to know every single thing she knows? It’s none of his business.

“‘Dude, what is up with them not rhyming?’” (113) Shannon also does this thing where she’ll make Keefe use the same joke over and over and over. This is only the second time Keefe has made this joke, but it happens again and again and again. And even though the first time was pretty funny, the overuse kills the joke. 

“‘Write this down, Gigantor: You may not want to meet, but we definitely do. Name a time and a place or we’ll pelt you with sparkly poo.’” (114) I really wish Shannon would stop with the potty humor. Keefe is fourteen, not six. It makes him look even more annoying and childish. 

“‘That’s why you keep me around. Well, that and my stunning good looks.’” (115) More of Keefe’s trademark cringy and tone deaf flirtation. Nobody talks like this in real life, Shannon, because they would be laughed at.

“‘But I’m coming over after school and you’ll tell me whatever you’re hiding.’” (121) It is so annoying how Keefe thinks he’s entitled to Sophie’s secrets. He doesn’t ask her. Just forces his way in, just like he forced his way into everything else. It’s textbook manipulation. And she does. Not because she trusts him. But because he forces his way into everything. 

“‘You let Keefe help.’ ‘Not by choice.’” (124) Sophie literally admits that she didn’t want Keefe to help her. But in typical Keefe fashion, he forces his way into everything, because he’s nosy and rude and can’t keep himself in line. I’ve said this already and I’ll probably say it again, but I wouldn’t mind this if Shannon treated it like a real character flaw instead of just a quirky little trait. I would be okay with it if Keefe realized what he was doing was wrong and apologized and made an effort to get better. But he never does. 

“‘This is just a normal day for you, isn’t it?’ Keefe asked . . . ‘Go to school find out you’re covered in a dangerous substance, melt off a few layers of skin, and then hail your besty Councillor, tell him you’re ditching study hall to save the world, and he says “Cool, I’ll come with you!”’” (149) Leaving aside the objectively incorrect spelling of bestie, here's another example of Shannon using Keefe to recap and narrate at the audience. It’s like she doesn’t trust us to understand the story ourselves. You don’t need to pat yourself on the back by summarizing what just happened, Shannon. It doesn’t make it any less exposition-y if the character info-dumping stuff we already know at us is ““““““funny””””””.

“Keefe replaced it immediately. ‘I could do this all day.’ [ . . . ] Then he snatched the rest of Sophie’s effluxers and raced away, stabbing them in random places all over the grassy field.” (179) Keefe understands why guarding the school from ogres is so important, and yet he treats it like a joke. I’ve seen people say that Keefe can be serious when he knows something is important, but here he is, abusing a serious security protocol for cheap laughs and frustrating Sophie. He tries his very hardest to be annoying and honestly if I were Sophie, I’d just walk away and let him do his own thing. He can’t be serious, and he’s incapable of thinking about anything except playtime for more than a few seconds at a time. 

[cut because character limit]

“Okay, I’ve changed my mind,’ Keefe said . . . ‘Let’s plant this somewhere she’ll trigger it.’” (181) Keefe gets Sophie in trouble and once again shows no remorse. I don’t understand why Sophie hangs around him when she doesn’t need him in any capacity (at this point) and all he does is annoy, embarrass, and get her in trouble. If you want to get in trouble, that’s your prerogative. But dragging others unwillingly into your plan is one of the most selfish, egregious acts you can do.

“‘Has he ever even had detention?’ ‘Only when he listens to me. [ . . . ]’” (183) Yet another example of Keefe dragging someone down with him, this time being Fitz.

“‘Clearly it’s not a good idea to get you angry. Uh-oh, should I be afraid?’” (221) Keefe continues to be annoying on purpose.

“‘Oh—maybe we could be the Keefitzter!’” (343) When will Shannon stop torturing me with this painful nickname humor?

“‘That doesn’t really have the same ring,’ Keefe told her [ . . . ]” (344) This is like the third time he’s made this joke. Repeating a joke over and over doesn’t make it funnier; it’s quite the opposite, actually. 

“‘Nah, I’ll save it for my own wedding. Make my bride feel even luckier.’ He winked.” (396) I think the worst part is he really thinks he’s being smooth there. Honestly, it just comes off as needy.

“‘ . . . keep in mind that Miss Foster is, and always will be, my first priority.’ ‘Mine too,’ Keefe said [ . . . ]” (408) Another thing that strikes me as incredibly weird with Keefe is this strange obsession he has with Sophie. It becomes incredibly apparent in later books, but it definitely starts here. Sophie should really just be another random friend he’s made at Foxfire, but he’s willing to go to so much trouble for her, but why? There’s not a particular reason. Sophie didn’t do anything that meant he owed her and therefore had to help her and they didn’t have a particularly strong bond at all before he forced his way into her reverse-Alden’s-guilt plan. It’s understandable now that they’re closer friends, but the fact that he was just ready to fly across the ocean for a somewhat random girl is just. Very strange. Keefe is a massive case of obsessed-with-the-love-interest syndrome that plagues YA novels everywhere you go. And he doesn’t even have a particularly good reason.

“‘Cute and smart. No wonder Dex gave you a ring.’” (410) Keefe continues to make unfunny jokes that embarrass Sophie for his own amusement. 

“Plotting and scheming really were Keefe’s forte.” (431) We’ve been told this, but it’s simply not true. Keefe hasn’t come up with a single good plan up until this point, so I don’t know what Sophie’s talking about. Telling isn’t showing, Shannon. Show us a single good plan that Keefe has come up with. You can’t just tell us that and expect us to believe it because “Oh, it’s Keefe!!!”

“‘Admit it, Foster—you’ve been checking out the Keefster. And maybe even . . . the keester.’ [ . . . ] ‘[ . . . ] Unless you’d rather I go first so you can admire the view.’” (440) I think this might be Keefe’s cringiest joke yet. It’s a perfect combination of Keefe humor: annoying, embarrassing, tone-deaf, a dash of potty humor, all topped off with a finale of horrific flirtation. 

Neverseen

“‘I totally could’ve pulled that off. But then again, I’m Batman, so’—he draped an arm over Sophie’s shoulders—‘I could be your hero any day.’” (9) Keefe's horrible flirting is back. And he very obviously sees himself as Sophie’s “hero”, ready to save the day for her, as if she’s completely helpless. (I know it seems like this is just a joke at the moment, but there are several moments later on down the line that prove this point. I just wanted to put this quote here so I don’t miss it later.) That’s another thing I hate about Keefe. He’s always sacrificing a good plan for his own, because he thinks he’s smarter than everyone else and wants to be the hero. (Again, there are several moments later that showcase this, we’ll get there.)

“Keefe grabbed Fitz’s wrist and pressed his fingers against the exposed skin. ‘Hate to break it to you, but I can tell you’re hiding something.’” (26) Another example of Keefe breaching personal boundaries and using his empathy to extort secrets out of people to get him to tell things they wouldn’t ordinarily tell him. This happens a lot starting in this book, and yes, I am going to point them all out. By the way, what Fitz was hiding was not at all important to their mission. It’s a secret of Sophie’s that Fitz accidentally saw and was forced to tell because of Keefe. And Keefe tries to make fun of Sophie for it, but is cut off.

“‘[ . . . ] and tell the Black Swan to knock it off with the lame, non-rhyming riddles.’” (27) Shannon, repeating a joke for the umpteenth time isn’t going to make it funnier. And Keefe gets this the worst.

“‘You know he’s going to keep pushing until he gets what he wants, right?’” (31) That quote is said about Keefe, for context. And yes, I do know that. It’s one of Keefe’s most annoying qualities. But what I want to focus on is the fact that Shannon herself acknowledges that. It’s not like she isn’t aware. She just doesn’t want to give Keefe any development, instead treating it like a quirky little habit. 

“‘Uh, you guys are totally ignoring the much more important question,’ Keefe interrupted [ . . . ] ‘Am I the only one who’s noticed that dude is naked?’” (38) Keefe doesn’t know how to be serious, even when the time calls for it. They were in the middle of a discussion about how the Neverseen could’ve set a fire in the Forbidden Cities, and Keefe just jumps in and completely derails the conversation for a joke. Keefe. Learn the time and the place for this sort of behavior. No, indeed, Keefe cannot be serious, even when the time calls for it.

“‘They’ll have to keep their faces very close together,’ Mr. Forkle noted. ‘Foster and I volunteer!’ Keefe shouted.” (59) Volunteering someone for a very uncomfortable experience without their permission, ah yes, my favorite. And yes, Dex does it too, and so do Fitz and Mr. Forkle. I’m not exempting any of them from the blame. I’m just saying that this was something Keefe unironically said (and he said it first, too).

“He leaped from his pleisosaur to hers and prodded Sophie’s eckodon to swim away from the rest of the group.” (63) Shannon forgot to add “without Sophie’s permission and without giving any thought to breached personal boundaries” to the end of that sentence. Seriously, he just leaped onto Sophie’s eckodon with no sign she wanted him to, just because . . . he wanted to? Sophie’s wishes? Never heard of them.

“‘Relax,’ he said, tightening his grip on Sophie’s waist. ‘I won’t let you fall.’” (63) I hate when Keefe does things that Sophie doesn’t need “for Sophie”. It’s his worst quality, by a long shot. He projects what he thinks Sophie wants and then tries to fulfill his projection. Sophie wasn’t even scared she was going to fall. And he randomly starts putting his hands all over her. But I guess when you’re a love interest, that can be seen as ““““““romantic””””””. Keefe stop treating Sophie like a helpless object that he needs to save challenge.

[cut because character limit]

“‘I will never let my mom hurt you again.’” (63) It’s hilarious that he thinks he can control that. Just adds to his mind-numbing stupidity. There’s naivete, then there’s Keefe. Also, this entire scene is the first in a series of scenes that I like to call “forced consolation”, where either Keefe or Sophie will try to reassure the other of some fear they don’t have or are just not in control of. Shannon loves to lather these scenes up with “I promise I won’t hate you”s and “I will do everything I can to protect you”s and all sorts of other things that feel either forced or over-the-top. And at the end of the scene, you feel nothing’s changed or developed. It’s just Sophie and Keefe repeating things at each other and at the end you just feel like it was handled with too heavy a hand and you didn’t really get anywhere. In other words, it’s one of Shannon’s favorite forms of filler.

“‘Thanks,’ he whispered back, so close she could feel his breath on her cheek.” (65) He managed to be even creepier! Wow! This feels incredibly forced, too. I think Shannon assumes she can make any scene “romantic” if she makes Keefe lean too close to Sophie and then makes a mention of Sophie's heartbeat.

“‘We know some of the Neverseen are hiding in Ravagog. Give me a green crystal and I’ll hunt them down.’” (90) Moments that make me want to shove Keefe into a brick wall. Is he stupid??? Like, genuinely. He is so dumb. I cannot stand stupid characters. Maybe that’s me, but oh my gosh. This. This is just. I don’t even have the words to describe how stupid Keefe is. And the worst part is Keefe clearly thinks this is a smart plan. Like, wow. He’s so arrogant he genuinely thinks he’s the savior they all need. Not a stupid, reckless boy with no experience or training who’s going to get himself killed. Keefe. What are you on.

“‘Why is everyone assuming I’m going to get caught?’ Keefe asked. ‘You guys are clearly forgetting how awesome I am!’” (91) Because you will. Hundred percent guarantee. He knows nothing about ogres and their technology, nothing about sneaking into places with a large amount of security, he probably doesn’t even know what a Markchain is and why he’ll be found out because of not having it. The English language doesn’t have the words necessary to describe how dumb Keefe is. And he doesn’t even realize it. He’s just so convinced he’s better than anyone else and that other people haven’t created anything strong enough to hold the all-knowing Keefe Sencen. But stupid characters that genuinely think they’re amazing is a personal pet peeve of mine. 

“Fitz said something else too, but it was drowned out by the plethora of gagging sounds coming from Dex and Keefe.” (96) I don’t like Dex either, but that’s not what this is about, so we’re gonna leave that alone for now. Anyway, Keefe and Dex are both incredibly immature, acting like six-year-olds as opposed to thirteen and fourteen. And it’s rude. It’s not a good quality. They clearly do it on purpose to be annoying, so. Tearing down people because you can’t keep your nose out of their business is just not good behavior. Again, I’d be fine if Keefe showed some development. But as far as I know, he never apologizes for his rude behavior at all. (I believe Dex does, though, so Shannon clearly knows this is a possibility.)

“‘In fact, after I swear fealty I should have you all call me Emo.’” (110) I don’t think you know what emo means, Keefe. Also, in my humble opinion, it makes no sense that elves have a concept of being emo. My guess is this is Shannon’s attempt to make Keefe seem more like Tam. But more on that later.

“‘You’ll be Sophitz! Or Fitzphie!’” (110) I hate it when authors put ship names in their stories. It’s so cringy and almost feels like the author is trying to pat themselves on the back for acknowledging a certain ship in the series. And of course, it’s an undeniable aspect of Keefe’s “humor”. I can’t just not address it. 

“‘We can be Keefex!’” (111) Another instance of putting ship names into the series, although I doubt Shannon meant it that way.

[cut because character limit]

“‘Yeah, Fitz can pull off anything.’ Sophie blushed as she considered the implication of her words. Keefe groaned. ‘I knew we should’ve gone with the balding elixir. Next time!’” (123) To be fair, the argument I’m about to make is very thin, and I acknowledge that, so feel free to disregard it. But notice how Keefe immediately suggests a balding elixir right after Sophie complimented Fitz’s looks. It’s almost like he’s jealous of Fitz, which is not a bad thing, necessarily. Jealousy is a very natural thing to feel. But so many people try to make arguments that Fitz was cruel and jealous toward Keefe later on down the line, so I thought I’d point out an example where (in my opinion) Keefe is being jealous.

“‘And don’t think I was going to allow a Sophex meeting to happen.’” (135) More cringy ship name “humor”. 

“‘Anyone else getting tired of the Black Swan bossing us around?’” (142) God, Keefe’s whininess is so annoying in this book. Yes, the Black Swan are being annoying. But he should’ve dropped it after the first few times that he complained. Complaining isn’t going to fix anything and only makes him look annoying. 

“‘Is it okay if I enter your mind?’ Fitz asked. ‘Dude, do you realize how creepy that sounds?’ Keefe interrupted. ‘It’s less creepy than reading her feelings all the time without telling her,’ Fitz argued. ‘Hey, it’s not like I try to do that! You’re just mad that Foster can’t hide things from me.’” (144) Keefe gets bored, so he interrupts Sophie and Fitz’s cognate training for no reason. You know, because he’s incapable of keeping his nose out of others’ business for two seconds. And not only that, he has the audacity to say he doesn’t try to read Sophie’s emotions. Sure, he’s not doing it all the time, every time, but he does it when he feels she’s hiding something. I’ve already pointed out several instances of this, and there are many more to come. Instead of letting her keep her secrets and tell him on her own time, you know, out of trust, he uses his empathy to force it out of her, or pressure her to talk when she’s not ready (which by the way, is a textbook sign of a toxic relationship). He does this to people besides Sophie, as well. So yes, it is creepy. Way more creepy and toxic than asking someone for permission, by the way. So not only is Keefe straight-up lying about not trying to read Sophie’s emotions, he’s defending it. And the last part where he says that Fitz is jealous because Sophie can hide things from him. He’s missing the point entirely. When someone tells you something willingly, without being extorted or pressured, they trust you. When you have to force them and guilt them into telling you, they don’t trust you. So Fitz has no real reason to be jealous here. Keefe’s just being an asshole.

“‘You make her super nervous,’ Keefe answered for her. Sophie wished the Black Swan had given her laser eyes so she could skewer Keefe with her death glare.” (144) Keefe not only reads Sophie’s emotions without her permission, he also breaches several boundaries by announcing them to the entire room before she’s ready or when she doesn't want to. Why? Because he’s selfish and wants to cause a scene. Why? Because he’s bored. I wish I were kidding. That is seriously the reason. He got bored. He doesn’t care about Sophie’s feelings, or else he would respect them. 

“‘Promise me you won’t hate me,’ he whispered.” (175) We go into another one of Shannon’s famous forced consolation scenes. It makes no sense that Keefe would worry about Sophie hating him. He hasn’t done a single thing to make her hate him. Shannon just realized that she needs something for Sophie to comfort Keefe over, so she pulled something out of her ass. And it makes no sense. 

It makes so little sense that Sophie tried so hard with Keefe, but didn’t do the same with Fitz and Biana in Exile. This forced consolation scene goes on, ending in a “window slumber party”. Another thing I don’t like about Keefe is that it’s very obvious that Shannon favors him. It’s very unsubtle.

[cut because character limit]

“Keefe ruined the moment by grumbling. ‘But you didn’t learn anything! You had the Neverseen right in front of you—you talked to him!’” (197) That’s right, everyone. The sweet, selfless Keefe blamed Sophie for failing to learn anything! Which, by the way, he never apologizes for and never shows remorse for.

“Sophie heard him mumble under his breath, ‘He was right in front of them.’” (198) Keefe continues to blame Sophie for not figuring anything out, as if he could’ve done any better.

“‘My mom was probably part of everything that went down with Jolie.’” (221) No??? No! Jolie died over sixteen years ago. Keefe says this in response to the knowledge that his mom joined the Neverseen shortly after becoming pregnant with him. Keefe is only fourteen, meaning Lady Gisela was not part of what went down with Jolie. This is probably just Shannon forgetting her timeline again, but oh, boy, does it make Keefe look stupid. 

“‘When you or Fitz start dating, there will be crying in the Foxfire halls.’” (236) Another example of Shannon trying way too hard to make him seem “popular” and “cool”. It appears she hasn’t set foot in a school, because that’s not how it actually works.

“‘Everyone loves the bad boys.’” (236) Did. Did Shannon unironically write that??? I’m laughing. Oh my gosh. The sheer tone-deafness and cringe, I can’t.

“‘And Fitz isn’t perfect, by the way.’ ‘He’s close enough.’” (238) No??? Nobody is. And here’s a fine example of another forced consolation scene. Keefe lathers it up with the self-pity and feeling sorry for himself, and later on down the road, Shannon realizes that and her solution to that particular problem is hilariously atrocious. I’m writing this quote in blue so that it’s easy to come back to later, because I’m going to talk about it once we get there. But for now: Keefe’s personal pity party is clearly only there to make the audience pity him. All he’s doing right now is acting weirdly whiny and jealous of Fitz for . . . being “perfect”? Which again, jealousy is natural. But Keefe has never in his life tried to achieve perfection, and has in fact always tried to do the exact opposite, so why would he be jealous of Fitz for being perfect all of a sudden? It’s completely out of character for him. Shannon. You can’t just make Keefe jealous of Fitz for the sake of being jealous of Fitz because you want a forced consolation scene. It has to make sense. Keefe would never be jealous of Fitz for this particular reason. Keefe doesn’t try to be perfect at all. Why would he care that Fitz is “perfect”?

“‘I hate watching it,’ he whispered. ‘Them and Della. It’s all so happy and easy.’” (238) Wanted to include this because this is a good example of how jealousy actually works. Keefe has never had a loving family. So naturally, seeing a loving family would make him jealous. So, again, I will give credit where credit is due: this makes sense for him. 

“‘And you’re also there when your friends need you.’” (238) That is a laughably twisted version of the events of the previous couple of books. Keefe is not “there when his friends need him”, rather he forces his ways into their plans by either pressuring them or using his empathy very dubiously. The way Shannon has tried to twist Keefe into this pitiable, pathetic boy is just. Not working, when you consider what he’s been doing for the past few books. Just straight shot after straight shot of him annoying and embarrassing the crap out of Sophie and extorting things she very clearly doesn’t want to tell him out of her.

“‘[ . . . ] you promised you wouldn’t hate me.’” (239) Obligatory “don’t hate me” plea from this particular forced consolation scene. 

[cut because character limit]

“His aim with the throwing stars was flawless [ . . . ]” (343) How??? He hasn’t had any proper training??? And this goes for the climax of Exile, too, by the way. Shannon once again wants Keefe to be flawless at everything and save Sophie, but she fails to make any of it make sense, because Keefe never trains with throwing stars. This is a textbook sign of a character the author wants to make look “cool” without making it make any sense whatsoever. Why is he good at using throwing stars? Not because he trained! Probably because Shannon just wanted to make him look cool and badass. 

“‘You know what I think when I see things like that?’ ‘I never should’ve agreed to help such a loser—even if he has awesome hair?’” (345) Here’s another forced consolation scene. Why would Keefe think Sophie thought that, when literally a few seconds ago she confirmed she didn’t? I’m not kidding, Sophie literally says “‘You shouldn’t have to carry all that alone’” (345) just a couple of lines right before this line. She clearly doesn’t think Keefe is a loser, but he’s so wrapped up in his self-pity, he’s not listening to her. Shannon’s trying to milk the shit out of this, so she repeats the same thing over and over and over to instill pity for Keefe. And again, she lathers it up and uses too heavy a hand, so it just feels like we’re suffocating in Sophie’s pity for Keefe, not to mention Keefe’s pity for himself. 

“‘I have a major dark side, Sophie.’” (347) Shannon tried to make this all serious and dark, but it just made me laugh. Like, no. He doesn’t. He doesn’t have a dark side whatsoever. He’s stupid, sure, but he’s really soft, too. The fact that Shannon is trying to get us to believe that and trying to put us on edge is laughable. 

“[ . . . ] ‘and it’s a lot creepier when it’s Sophorkle.’” (369) Did. Did Shannon actually write that???? And the editor saw nothing wrong with that??? Oh, boy . . . I don’t even think I have to explain this one. And yes, this is in the name of Keefe cringy-ass “humor”.

“‘If you’re saying we should sneak into ogreville instead of sitting here watching Dex poke a gadget with sticks, I’m in,’ Keefe said [ . . . ] Keefe tried to drag her toward the door.” (405) Why did Shannon make that so literal? She literally made Keefe just be like We’re going to Ravagog right this minute, and then had him drag Sophie to the door. Like, wow. The literalness of the action is just so cartoonish and comical. Like I’m watching an animated cartoon for seven year olds. I don’t know how else to describe this.

“‘I say we storm Ravagog,’ Keefe said. ‘Who’s in?’” (457) Keefe continues to push for a plan that has no merits whatsoever and will just put people in danger. You know, because he couldn’t use his brain if his life depended on it. Also the way he says it implies he sees it as this fun joke-like thing, not something that needs serious thought put into it.

“‘And I thought secret Telepath conversations were the worst. Just so we’re clear,’ he told Tam. ‘I’m the president of the Foster fan club. And we’re closed to new members.’” (474) Keefe acts jealous of Tam for . . . talking to Sophie. What a great guy. What a non-possessive, non-controlling, completely justified thing to do. He acts like Sophie just talking to a guy is a threat to him. And let’s be honest, he says that the Foster Fan Club is “closed to new members” because he’s worried about whether Tam could like Sophie, or vice versa. And the fact that his idea is to try to stop Tam and Sophie from talking to each other is easily the ickiest thing he has done. Like, please go bang your head several times into a wall, Keefe. Hard.

[cut because character limit]

“‘Someone needs to tell Shade Boy the role of Troublemaker with Daddy Issues is already filled.’” (478) I- I don’t even have the words to describe how uncaring this is. Keefe literally sees a struggling teen and his first thought is “My ‘position’ is in danger”. How selfish is that? Tam (and Linh) have struggled way more than Keefe can even comprehend and yet all he can think about is this stupid jealousy he has for Tam. Also, the fact that he literally thinks in stereotypes and archetypes is laughably bad writing on Shannon’s part. Dumbing people down to categories to check off is atrociously terrible writing, and this is another symptom of Shannon using Keefe as a narrator to tell the audience things she doesn’t trust us to pick up on ourselves. She doesn’t trust us to know that Keefe is a troublemaker with daddy issues, so she has to tell us. Just like she doesn’t trust us to realize the same about Tam, so she has to tell us. 

“He’d turned into the boy in the boobrie dude’s tent again—scared and angry and lost.” (479) That doesn’t justify his callousness and horrible behavior towards Tam. Just because you can see why someone is doing something, doesn’t automatically absolve them of blame. Someone should’ve kept Keefe in line by explaining how tone deaf that comment was. But of course, since it’s Keefe, his actions will always be justified by the narrative instead of corrected.

“Keefe laughed. ‘Annnnnnnnd, the Foster panicking begins.’ ‘I’m not panicking,’ Sophie told him [ . . . ] She ignored Keefe’s laughter as she gave Fitz permission to enter her mind.” (496) First of all, counting and typing out all those Ns was a nightmare. Second of all, I think the reason Keefe’s intrusive behavior is accepted is because it’s just so normal. It’s just something you expect to happen with him because it’s Keefe, and treated like a joke. But it shouldn’t happen. Just because Keefe can feel Sophie’s emotions, doesn’t mean he has to tell them to people she’s clearly uncomfortable telling them to. And third of all, he laughs. He laughs because she’s panicking. What an upstanding guy.

“‘Whoa, now everything’s red and ripply,’ Fitz said. ‘Is that because she’s angry?’” (497) Keefe literally annoyed Sophie for his own amusement and fun. You know, as good friends do.

“‘Just tell them to stare into each other’s eyes and they’ll be good.’ ‘None of that, Mr. Sencen.’” (497) I will give credit where credit is due, Shannon did finally hold Keefe to a modicum of accountability. But this is the one time in all his atrocious behavior that he’s been held accountable, and even then, he never says sorry. 

“‘Why didn’t you tell me about this?’ Fitz whispered to her. ‘Dude, you don’t get to ask that,’ Keefe told him.” (505) Fitz can ask whatever the hell he wants. Especially concerning a group that they are all fighting. Telling someone they don’t get to ask why something was hidden from them is so completely out of line. And guess who calls Keefe out on this? Nobody.

“‘Because I seem to remember you having a bummer few weeks and then everything went back to perfect Vacker-land. So where’s my perfect fix?’” (505) Keefe disregards other people’s feelings and problems if he sees them as not as bad as his own. Now, you might be thinking, didn’t Fitz lash out at Sophie during Exile? Why isn’t that bad? Well, that’s not as bad because Fitz realizes what he did was wrong, apologizes for what he did and tries his hardest to improve and develop. You’ll notice we don’t get a similar heartfelt apology from Keefe for this incredibly hurtful and invalidating statement, or anything else he does or says throughout this book.

[cut because character limit]

“She knew Keefe didn’t want to talk to her, but when she saw his lights on she couldn’t walk away.” (507) Another piece of evidence suggesting that Sophie paid way more attention to Keefe and spent way more time making sure he knew she was there for him than she did with Fitz and Biana in a similar situation. Here Keefe is mad at her, not wanting to see her, and she still tries too hard to make him see reason, which is not something she does with anyone else. And that is another thing I hate about Keefe: Shannon shows clear favoritism toward him. He gets let off the hook for things other people don’t. He gets Sophie trying and trying and trying to make him see reason when he’s mad. And later, he gets a plotline all to himself, and takes up so much page time, it squeezes the other characters out. You can already see it in this book. 

“[ . . . ] she could’ve sworn he muttered something about Sophitz.” (510) Keefe is a horrific friend. He tears Sophie and Fitz’s cognate relationship (and friendship) down every chance he gets, and nobody calls him out on his incredibly possessive behavior.

“‘How are you going to get inside the city? And if you do get in—what then? You don’t even know where you’re going.’ ‘I’ll figure it out.’” (560) Keefe is so unbelievably stupid. The justification Shannon gave was that the guilt is making him reckless, but recklessness doesn’t equal stupidity. And when Sophie asks him perfectly valid questions, he says “I’ll figure it out”, meaning he put not a single thought into this. He’s really so arrogant that he thinks he can just walk into Ravagog with no plan and steal the cure. God, he’s so stupid, they should just leave him out of their plans for everyone’s safety. Stupid characters are a particular pet peeve of mine, so if I seem angrier than I should be, that’s why.

“‘Fine. I’ll wait until tomorrow night,’ he said. ‘Then I’m leaving.’” (561) Sophie didn’t even manage to completely dissuade him, she just stalled him. That proves that Sophie can’t save him from himself. Nobody can. And later, Keefe puts so much more than himself at risk. He has Sophie constantly worrying about him, so his actions affect her, too. That’s selfish behavior. And how much does he grow from it? I’m sure you can guess. 

“‘Yeah, this is why I should go by myself,’ Keefe said. The suggestion was met with a resounding ‘No!’ But Sophie knew Keefe wasn’t going to listen. If she didn’t figure something out, he would go alone.” (564) They just talked through all the challenges of their plan, none of which Keefe has a solution to, yet he’s still arrogant enough to believe that he can do it all himself. Stupid characters that think they’re great are the worst kind of character to me. The fact that Keefe genuinely thinks he can sneak past ogres and find the cure is mind boggling. He thinks he’s so great that he won’t get caught, but we know he would’ve. Someone is going to pop out of the ground and say “Well, he’s only fourteen!!!” Yeah, he’s fourteen, but this is straight stupidity, not youthful naivete. And the fact that Sophie specifically thinks to herself that he’ll go if they don’t figure something out just proves how selfish he is. Nobody wants him to go alone. He’s not achieving anything for anyone, and his actions do more harm than good. So, no, his actions are not selfless. More so the opposite than anything. He’s doing something that nobody wants and nobody needs. Except himself, of course. 

[cut because character limit]

“‘Oh good, Bangs Boy decided to join us,’ Keefe grumbled [ . . . ]” (570) Instead of being grateful for extra help that could get them out alive, Keefe continues to take shots at Tam for no reason. No reason other than he’s strangely possessive of Sophie, of course. Also, can I just say that Shannon wrote this rivalry so poorly? It’s not even a rivalry. It’s completely one-sided. And in later books, Shannon tries so hard to convince us that Keefe and Tam don’t like each other and it’s this whole thing and it’s all drama and this and that and the other. But she puts so little effort into describing why they don’t like each other that it falls so flat. Tam doesn’t even dislike Keefe. My guess is that he just (rightfully) sees Keefe as a nuisance. So really, it’s just Keefe that has this pathetic hatred for Tam, while Tam barely even acknowledges Keefe. As he should. But that’s just a guess. To know for sure, Shannon would actually have to focus on characters that aren’t Sophie and Keefe, so. 

“‘How do we know his little Shade tricks are even going to work?’” (572) Valid point, but Keefe is so unnecessarily mean and rude with that comment.

“Keefe snorted. ‘How does it feel to be rejected by dust?’ ‘Pretty good, actually,’ Tam snapped back, ‘since it means I can survive this mission.’” (573) Yeah, get his ass. About time someone called Keefe’s constant whining out. Keefe continues to haggle on Tam’s power, which will no doubt save his life several times, for no other reason than his pathetic hatred for Tam. 

“‘I could be back with the cure while the rest of you guys are still sleeping.’” (575) Words cannot describe how much I want Keefe to try to do just that, so the ogres can lock him in a cell and we never have to see him or his stupidity or arrogance again.

“Dude, you did not just insult the Hair.’” (581) Have some more cringy Keefe humor.

“Sophie couldn’t fight back her sob as Keefe handed Alvar the cache.” (661) We’ve at last arrived at the famous betrayal scene. And this is Keefe’s most selfish, asshole-ish action yet. First of all, it’s not him who was entrusted with the safety of the cache. It was Sophie. Which means that by handing over the cache, he puts her in massive potential danger with the Council, not himself. But that’s typical Keefe behavior. Thinking about how your actions will affect the people around you? Never heard of her. If the Council entrusted the cache to him, then it would be somewhat less selfish, because he’s the one that would then be in trouble with the Council. So he puts Sophie in danger and tosses the world’s most important secrets to a terrorist group without a thought in the direction of how he’s going to get it back. And for what? For the miniscule chance that the Neverseen would trust him and he could learn something important enough to finish this? That’s the thing with Keefe. He’s stupid, but he doesn’t think he is. He takes huge risks where the reward can’t in any scenario measure up to the price. It was a stupid risk. Not in any capacity could anything he learned ever measure up. But of course, Keefe thinks it’s brilliant. Because, you know. He’s stupid. Tell me why anyone trusts this guy again? Oh, and in case you think that Keefe learns or grows from this mistake, just you wait.

“‘I have to do this,’ he said. ‘Please don’t hate me.’” (663) Keefe has no right to ask this of Sophie in this scenario. He’s chosen his path, and that was his choice. He will and should suffer the consequences of that choice. Including all the people who now see him as a traitor. But of course, since this is Keefe, he doesn’t suffer a single consequence, and Sophie never truly hates him, although that would’ve encouraged at least a single iota of development for Keefe’s arc. 

Lodestar

“‘Sorry my note was so hasty. Next time I’ll make sure it rhymes.’” Sorry, no more page numbers, I don’t have a physical copy. I don’t know why Shannon insists on running the rhyming joke into the ground. Repeating the same joke over and over doesn’t make it funnier. 

So the thing about this scene where Keefe breaks into the principal’s office is that he does get held somewhat accountable. Every time he makes a joke and isn’t serious, Sophie calls him out. When he plays dumb and says he didn’t expect Sophie to hate him, she calls him out. He tries to defend his atrocious plan, she shuts him down. But that doesn’t last. 

“And there it was. Keefe’s guilt.” I still don’t understand what Keefe is guilty over. Because Shannon doesn’t bother to make it make sense. No logical person would feel guilty over their parent’s betrayal. Especially not when they didn’t like that parent much to start with. But how else are we going to get our precious forced consolation scenes, if Shannon can’t make up something for Keefe to angst over?

“‘What is the Lodestar Initiative?’ she pressed. ‘And what other lost memories did you recover? You said there were more.’ ‘It doesn’t matter.’ ‘Obviously it does.’” Sophie tries to get solid answers from Keefe and he continues to withhold. These aren’t just any old personal secrets either, they’re secrets that have something to do with the enemy they’re both fighting. By keeping this information away from Sophie, Keefe actively hinders her cause. But of course, he’s so stupid and arrogant and thinks he knows what’s best for Sophie that he’ll never see it that way. He is such a frustrating character and this book is almost the worst portrayal of him. 

“‘There’s always a choice, Keefe.’ ‘Yeah—I’m going to find a way to end this on my terms. That’s my choice.’” Wow, Keefe is such an arrogant idiot. He really just admitted that he was the only person he was going to listen to. Not anyone smarter than him, more experienced than him, hell, not even Sophie, who he’s supposedly doing this for. No, it’s just his way or the highway. Because he thinks he’s smarter than everyone else. Including their enemies, who have proven time and time again to be at least twenty-two steps ahead. He doesn’t even bring up his plan with the Black Swan. They might’ve taught him or told him something that could help. But no. He does it all himself, but he only cares about his own opinion, and Sophie’s. Oh and by the way, Sophie doesn’t call him out on any of this this time around.

“‘What happens when they notice it’s gone?’ He shrugged.” He literally just admitted he didn’t have a plan. That’s his thing. He’ll do something reckless (like giving Sophie the pendant back) and then not think about the consequences. He is so stupid, it hurts my soul. I cannot fathom how he manages to entertain this delusion that he can beat the Neverseen single-handedly. 

“‘You’d rather keep hurting the people who care about you?’ ‘I’m helping you!’ ‘And hurting us.’” He’s not helping. At all. Helping would be executing a plan that everyone agreed was a good idea. Helping would be brainstorming ideas for a plan with a group, so they can figure out all the pros and cons and go from there. Helping would be being there for the people that need him. But, no. Keefe instead embarks on a selfish quest to end things all by himself so that he can feel good about himself and maybe even so that Sophie will think highly of him. He doesn’t care about anyone else, he just cares about himself. If he did care about other people, he would consult them and consider their advice instead of disregarding it and assuming he’s the smartest person in the room, when in actuality, he’s most likely the stupidest. By a lot.

[cut because character limit]

“‘That’s what I’d been hoping for. But [Fitz] didn’t even raise his voice. He just looked away so I wouldn’t see him crying. So did Biana. Even Dex teared up.’ Seconds ticked by. Maybe minutes. It felt like forever before Keefe whispered, ‘What about you?’ [ . . . ] ‘I also helped you escape,’ Keefe reminded her.” Another thing that is so irritating about Keefe is how he doesn’t care about anyone except Sophie and puts her on this pedestal. He doesn’t care about any of his friends as much as he does Sophie, and he only bothers opening up to her. He doesn’t try to form a bond with anyone else, and he neglects all his other friends for Sophie. In this example, when Sophie tells him how the others reacted, he simply changes the subject back to her, instead of saying something about the others. When Sophie tells him how she reacted, he acts interested again. 

“‘Even if it is, the things you’re doing are real. That cache could destroy everything. And you handed it over like it was no big deal—’ ‘Because it wasn’t! They can’t open it. They’ve had all their Technopaths working on it, and they can’t break through the security.’ ‘And when they finally figure it out?’ ‘I’ll steal it back long before that happens. I can handle this, Sophie.’” No, he can’t. He’s proven that he’s incapable of thinking even an inch into the future, with his response to the monocle pendant situation. There’s no feasible way Keefe could’ve known how incompetent the Neverseen’s Technopaths are at getting into the cache. He’d never even heard of a cache before Neverseen. So it could’ve backfired massively. And how is he going to steal it back? He has no plan. He doesn’t know what he’s doing.

“‘It’s not a test. They . . . sent me here.’ ‘Why would they do that?’ Keefe’s eyes returned to the ceiling. ‘Probably because I suggested it.’” So let me get this straight: Keefe told the Neverseen to send him to Foxfire where all his friends go to school, and he thinks they didn’t find that suspicious at all? I'm laughing. Honestly, that’s hilarious.

“‘Miss Foster understands Mr. Sencen in ways the rest of us simply cannot. [ . . . ] He opened up to her. Leaned on her. Trusted her.’” Yes, because she wouldn’t leave him alone. Which is not a level of effort she put into anyone else’s problems. Think about when Fitz was spiraling over his father in Exile. Or when Fitz got stabbed. She didn’t pay nearly as much attention as she did to Keefe in his times of crisis. Again, Shannon has a massive bias toward Keefe. He’s treated much better than the rest of the supporting cast. But somehow, despite that, he doesn’t get any development at all. And the reason Keefe opened up to Sophie and nobody else is because he only cares about her opinion, and nobody else’s. He pedestalizes her heavily.

[cut because character limit]

“‘Need I remind you that Keefe’s doing the same thing our daughter tried to do?’” Oh, boy. I hate when people use this argument. In short, while Jolie and Keefe had the same plan, their executions couldn’t have been more different. Jolie was reached out to by both sides and the Neverseen had no idea that she was involved with the Black Swan at all. The Neverseen are well aware of Keefe’s involvement with the Black Swan. So, where Jolie just had to get the Neverseen to trust her, Keefe has to convince them that he betrayed his friends, a much harder task. Jolie also had a feasible motive, to get her bad match status erased. Keefe doesn’t have anything even resembling a possible reason for why he’d want to join the Neverseen. So the Neverseen are going to be even more suspicious of him. Jolie trained. She told the Black Swan what she was doing. She planned. Eventually, she got the Black Swan’s approval and she had their help. Keefe, on the other hand, did not do a single modicum of actually valuable training. He didn’t tell anyone, and he didn’t talk his plan through with the group. Nobody thought it was a good idea, and nobody’s helping him. He’s completely on his own. Keefe also has to live with them, which Jolie never did. That’s more opportunities to slip up, and a small difference like that can add up. And I know I’ll sound like a broken record, but Keefe is just. So stupid. He doesn’t think about his actions and their consequences, just barrels right into them. Jolie has proven to be very clever, leaving a list of clues that she knew only a Black Swan member would be able to find. 

“‘Oh good—so the thing That Boy stole is putting all of us in more danger,’ Grady muttered.” For the record, I find Grady to be an incredibly immature guardian, with what and his calling Keefe “That Boy”. But that’s not what I’m here for right now. And he does make a good point right here. Keefe is putting them all in danger, and he doesn’t even know if what he’s doing will have any sort of payout.

“How does Fitz not pee his pants every time you do this—or wait, DOES HE?” This book easily gets it the worst when it comes to Keefe’s humor. The potty humor is at an all-time high, and Keefe is even more cringy and annoying than usual.

“Besides—if she was going to trust Keefe, she had to trust him.” Why??? He didn’t do a single thing to earn her trust. Why should she trust him??? This shouldn’t be about Sophie’s feelings, they’re in the middle of a war, and that’s what should matter. Keefe has compromised a very important piece of intelligence, so she shouldn’t be trusting him at all. “Oh, but he's her friend!” Yes, he’s her friend, but the war is always more important than foolishly placing your trust in the wrong hands because of . . . feelings.  

“[Keefe] Luck had nothing to do with it. I planned it perfectly. [Sophie] That’s exactly the kind of overconfidence that’s going to get you killed. [Keefe] Not necessarily.” He really thinks he didn’t get lucky and that the whole thing was because of his “perfect” planning. But no plan is perfect. That fact that Keefe doesn’t know that is proof as to why he shouldn’t be doing this. A good planner understands that every plan has inherent risks and never, ever gets cocky because something can always go wrong. Keefe’s just not willing to see the risks to his plans. And that makes him dangerous. And so, so stupid.

“Yep—it’s a date. Tell your boyfriends not to be jealous.” Have some more cringy Keefe-style flirtation. 

[cut because character limit]

“[Sophie] Keefoster? [Keefe] Sounds way cooler than Sophitz or Dophie, right? And don’t even get me started on Bangs Boy.” Keefe’s cringy ship name humor is back at it again. I’m pretty sure he uses ship names more than the entire fandom combined. God, Shannon needs to stop using him to pat herself on the back. Keefe once again displays jealousy toward not only Tam, but Fitz and Dex. He subtly tells Sophie that she should be with him, not any of them, which is so utterly out of line that I don’t even have the words to describe how much I want to punch him in the face for his possessiveness. It’s not his right to tell her that. Also, objectively speaking, Keefoster sounds atrocious. It also sounds like “Keefe Foster”, and I’m sure Shannon is patting herself on the back for seeming so subtle. Sokeefe is a much better ship name, but is never actually brought up in the series. If Shannon intends to continue with this atrocious in-story ship-name-dropping, she could at least use a good one.

“[Keefe] [  . . . ] it is kinda nice having someone look out for me. [Sophie] You don’t make it easy. [ . . . ] His floating thoughts made it clear how determined he was to protect her.” Yippee, another forced consolation scene! Sophie and Keefe basically tell each other that they’re out to protect each other. Sophie says Keefe doesn’t make it easy on her, which is true. He takes advantage of her trust, runs into dangerous situations without a care in the direction of how it’ll affect Sophie’s mental state. And Keefe doing this whole thing to protect Sophie . . . no. Just no. He’s already admitted he’s doing this because he’s only willing to do it his way. He wants to do this for a multitude of selfish reasons, one of which is Sophie’s opinion of him and his character, which is not the same as doing something “for Sophie”. He’s doing it for himself. He doesn’t care about Sophie’s opinion on what he should do, or he would’ve listened to her. And the part about how it’s “nice [to have] someone look[ing] out for [Keefe]” is just. I can’t even. Keefe is so whiny. Plenty of people care about and look out for him. The Black Swan, frustrating as they are, Alden and Della, his friends, even Grady and Edaline. But of course the only one he cares about is Sophie. Because he only cares about Sophie’s opinion of him and nobody else’s. 

“You can ignore it all you want, Foster, but sooner or later you’re going to have to solve the triangle. Or should we get real and call it a square?” Fantastic, some more horrible Keefe flirtation! Also my feelings on authors using the term “love square/triangle” in their books is pretty much the same as my feelings about authors using ship names in their books. It’s so pick-me, like Look! I acknowledged the love triangle in my own book! Aren’t I the greatest? Isn’t that so self-aware of me?

“There you go, rocking the whole adorable-when-you’re-angry thing. I think that’s what I’ve missed about you the most.” Keefe infantilizes Sophie by saying she’s cute when she’s angry. She is trying to express her feelings, and all Keefe can do is be all Awwwwww. Isn’t that so cute? She’s angry! How adorable. It’s a form of invalidating someone’s feelings, by treating them like they’re just entertainment or by brushing them off like that. It’s some of the most manipulative behavior out there. It also saves Keefe from having to actually take Sophie’s feelings into account. His infantilization of her also shows up in his incessant need to protect her. It’s icky and gross, and authors should stop encouraging this behavior.

“Yes, I will call you Lady Lectures-a-Lot every time you transmit to me.” Have another example of Keefe’s cringy-ass nickname humor. 

“[Sophie] And can you focus for one second? [Keefe] I suppose I can try. . . . ” Keefe continues to try to frustrate and annoy Sophie on purpose. You know, for his own entertainment. As good friends do.

[cut because character limit]

“‘We also found my favorite bramble jersey,’ Fitz added. ‘I knew he stole it.’” Because stealing your best friend’s personal possessions and never giving them back is a completely normal thing to do. 

"But she needed to see Wylie’s memories for herself and make sure Keefe wasn’t there.” Here’s an example of Keefe’s decisions impacting Sophie. Her mental health has been on a decline the entire time she was at Dex’s; all she thinks about is whether Keefe will be involved and whether he’ll be able to trick the Neverseen and how he’ll get out of this one. All she does is worry, worry, worry. And it’s all on Keefe. He didn’t take Sophie’s advice into account when he made his decision (which he would’ve done if he truly cared about her) and it’s affecting Sophie.

“‘I know you’re going to get mad at me for saying this. But before we keep trusting him, we need to find out what he knows—and I don’t just mean the little bits he tells you during your nightly flirt sessions.’ ‘That’s not what they are,’ Sophie snapped. ‘Maybe not for you. But I doubt the guy who calls himself the president of the Foster Fan Club is going to have a bunch of private convos with you and not use that chance to try to keep winning you over.’” Exactly. Thank you, Tam. Finally, someone in the story who gets it.

“‘Keefe—we’re serious,’ Sophie said. ‘Oh, I know. Fitz is giving me his “I’m so serious” scowl. And you’re hitting me with a whole mess of emotions.’” Can’t believe I have to put up with Keefe again after all this page time without him. And does he know that? Does he really? Because if he knew, he would be serious. But Keefe is incapable of acting serious, even when the time calls for it. All he can do is joke. 

“‘We need to make sure you weren’t involved.’ Keefe rolled his eyes. ‘Would I be here if I was?’” Yes??? He could do all kinds of things. And Fitz was perfectly valid when he said that they needed to make sure Keefe wasn’t involved. Keefe is currently working with the enemy. It’s as simple as that. It’s not unreasonable to want to know if he was involved with one of their plans. On the other hand, it is unreasonable for Keefe to ask them to put all their trust and faith in him when he’s working with their enemies. He needs to stop demanding everyone change to accommodate him, and accept the consequences of his actions. 

“‘I would never be in your position,’ Fitz argued. ‘Yeah, you’re better at taking the easy way.’” No, he’s better at taking the smart, unselfish way. He’s better at not throwing everyone’s faith and trust in him down the drain because he wants to be the hero. 

“‘They have a network that stretches way farther than you could ever imagine. I’ve only seen a tiny piece of it, and it’s seriously terrifying. I can’t fight it without making some hard calls!’” By Keefe’s own admission, the Neverseen’s organization skills, plans, and goals are “seriously terrifying”. And yet, he thinks he alone can defeat them by working from the inside out. He also uses the word “I”, like he thinks he’s the only one. A Freudian slip if I’ve ever seen one. No, Keefe, you are not the only one fighting the Neverseen. 

“Uh, hello—you have me. I know I got a few details wrong yesterday [ . . . ]” Keefe says he got “a few details wrong” as if those few details didn't result in someone getting tortured. He’s incredibly incompetent, but trying to hide it. He’s got it flipped, actually. He got the plan as a whole wrong, and only got a few details correct. He didn’t get any actually useful information, and still thinks they should rely on him despite the fact that he’s proven he has nothing useful to offer. Because he’s stupid and arrogantly wants to believe that his way is the best way.

“‘Dude, are you blushing?” Fitz asked. ‘Only because I can feel what Foster’s feeling,’ Keefe snapped back. Sophie rolled her eyes. ‘I’m not feeling anything.’” Nothing particularly wrong with this, just this exchange makes me cringe every time. But that’s subjective.

[cut because character limit]

“[Sophie] You get why we had to make sure, right? [Keefe] It’s still not awesome knowing you guys sat around talking about how you don’t trust me. [Sophie] You don’t make it easy.” They can’t trust him. This is bigger than Keefe’s pathetic boo-hoo-my-friends-don’t-trust-me. They would if they could. He ran off and joined the enemy and they’re in the middle of a war. They have to think with logic, not emotion, and logic always says that anyone working with the enemy can’t be trusted and must be treated as such. It’s not a personal attack on Keefe. But Keefe will always see it that way.

“I can’t worry about that, Foster. I can’t think about what-ifs or maybes. I can only take it one day at a time—one assignment at a time—and fight my way through.” Did- Did Keefe just admit he doesn’t plan ahead? And try to spin it so it looks like a good thing? This is the guy they’re supposed to be trusting??? This is the guy that thinks he’s smarter than the Neverseen, who, by his own admission, have networks that stretch farther than the mind can comprehend? Serious???

“And ten minutes ago you thought I was Wylie’s fourth kidnapper. Remind me to thank Bangs Boy for that the next time I see him. And the Fitzster.” Thank them for making a logical decision? During a war? Yes, you should. 

“[Keefe] Aw, come on, Foster. I’m the cute guy who chooses to save the kids, remember? How can you resist me? [Sophie] Who said anything about cute? [Keefe] It totally goes without saying. Don’t even try to deny it.” Keefe’s flirtation is back and cringier than ever!

“[Keefe] And in the meantime, maybe I need to lose this cloak and see what happens. . . . [Sophie] Bad idea—especially after you took such a risk to meet with us today. [Keefe] There you go again with your logic. It’s really cramping my style.” First of all, why does Sophie need to tell him that losing the cloak is such a bad idea when Keefe himself literally said a few pages ago that it was a bad idea? Is he really that drawn to ideas that seem stupid? Is he really so arrogant that he thinks he can get away with that a second time? And secondly, here’s another example of Shannon using the same joke again and again.

“Ugh. I guess you do need to see that memory, don’t you?” This isn’t the best quote (said by Keefe, for context) to represent what I’m about to say, but oh, well. I can’t copy this entire scene down because this goes on for a while, but Keefe literally stalls on his end of the bargain he makes with Sophie for quite a long time. He considered not even holding up his end, even though Sophie had already held up hers. He only relents when he realizes Sophie needs to see the memory. Which is not good. It shows that he can’t be trusted to hold up his side of a deal unless he decides he needs to. 

“Keefe turned away, watching the waves crash onto the beach. ‘I don’t want you feeling sorry for me.’ ‘I can’t help it. But it’s not pity. It’s . . . I don’t know what the word for it is. I’m too conflicted.’” So, remember that quote I wrote in blue? We’re circling back to it. I said that Keefe is constantly feeling sorry for himself and that the scene just drowns in his self-pity. Shannon then realizes that this isn’t really a good thing necessarily, and her solution is just to have Keefe say that he doesn’t want Sophie feeling sorry for him. This is a sentiment that continues through the story, where Keefe claims he hates people pitying him. But that’s just Shannon telling us that. What she shows us is a completely different story, and that reveals that Keefe does nothing but wallow in his own self-pity, usually during his forced consolation scenes. It doesn’t matter that Keefe apparently doesn’t want anyone to pity him, because Shannon spends so much time trying to convince you to pity him that the whole thing falls flat. There are several more instances of this, but for now I’ll just write this in blue as well, because these two quotes are connected in one larger point I’m trying to make. 

[cut because character limit]

“[Keefe] Wow. That’s just . . . He burst into a fit of snorty giggles. [Sophie] I’m glad you find this so amusing. [Keefe] You don’t? Don’t tell me you actually believe him.” This isn’t about whether or not something sounds strange or funny or ridiculous. It’s about whether or not it’s plausible. At this point in time, it was very plausible that Keefe was created as a counter to Project Moonlark, even though he’s older than Sophie. So they were treating it like a real possibility. But Keefe laughs at it, because it sounds stupid to him. He doesn’t even consider it. Just immediately discards the possibility. Which isn’t a good thing. It’s a very close-minded attitude to have. Which is not good in the middle of a war.

“‘They know I’m here,’ Keefe told her. ‘There’s an ogre enzyme that stinks like the entire world is rotting, and I may have accidentally knocked a vial of it into the laundry basin while I was washing Fintan’s favorite cloaks. It can only be removed with selkie skin, so they sent me to get what I need to clean up my mess.’” I’m laughing so hard. Collecting selkie skin probably isn’t going to take more than a few minutes, and they’ve been talking a long time, so the Neverseen are definitely going to be suspicious of him. Honestly, this plan is even dumber than I remember.

“‘And I used those five seconds to drop off the bead before I headed here. It was perfect.’” Every time Keefe describes a stupid part of his plan and then refers to his plan as “perfect”, I take psychic damage. Smart people know that no plan is ever perfect. So the fact that Keefe thinks his plan is shows why he isn’t ready to be a double agent.

“‘Woo-hoo for bonus Keefoster time! Try not to get jealous, Fitzy. She still likes you better than me—but someday I will wear her down. I’m sneaky like that.’” Was- Was that a real line??? That Shannon actually wrote??? And then didn’t immediately erase? Keefe is such a jerk. This line proves he just sees Sophie as the rope in the tug-of-war he’s playing with Fitz. He doesn’t care about her. He just wants to “wear her down”, as if a real person with real emotions is something he can just mess around with until he gets what he wants.

“You’re so cute when you worry, he told her.” More classic Keefe infantilization. He once again invalidates Sophie’s feelings by dumbing them down and acting like they’re this cute, quirky, inconsequential thing.

“Fine. Forgive me for trying to have a little fun after yesterday’s drama.” Did you know. That it’s possible. To have fun. Without infantilizing others? More of Keefe’s jokes being mean/rude/generally atrocious behavior.

“[Keefe] She puts Bangs Boy to shame—and she doesn’t have stupid hair. [Sophie] I thought she always hid under her cloak. [Keefe] She does. But as the crowned king of good-hair land, I can tell when I’m talking to one of my rightful subjects.” Keefe’s jokes about his hair are so painfully unfunny and come off as cocky when Shannon oversteps. Which she does. A lot. We get it, he styles his hair to look a certain way because he’s such a wannabe bad boy. Now can we talk about anything else?

“But after everyone went to sleep, I tore open the seam in my cloak and found another black disk right where you said it would be.” He . . . tore the disk out of the cloak. When they have no idea what it does. And they know the Neverseen put it there for a reason. And he’s trying to be careful. He just tore it out??? How’s he going to put it back in and make everything seem normal again??? Is he really that dumb?

“Actually, I’m pretty sure this is good enough news that you’re going to want to kiss me—and I’m happy to accept an IOU, by the way.” Ah, Keefe, your humor never fails to make me cringe.

“[Keefe] ‘Ode to Keefe Sencen—that brave, lovable nut. He may not have teal eyes, but he has a really cute—’ [Sophie] KEEFE!” Keefe’s favorite pastime of annoying Sophie rears its ugly head once more. Also, will he stop comparing himself to Fitz for two seconds?

[cut because character limit]

“[Keefe] And brace yourself because I’m about to blow your mind. Are you ready for it? [Sophie] I’ve been ready for the last five minutes. [Keefe] You think you’re ready. But there’s no way you possibly can be. [Sophie] JUST TELL ME.” More of Keefe annoying Sophie just for the heck of it. I honestly don’t understand why she’d constantly want to be around someone who’s so annoying, it makes no sense.

“Just like I haven’t gotten any more info about the ogres’ test, or King Dimitar’s meeting with Fintan, or Fintan’s cache, or any of the things I can’t get anyone to talk about [ . . . ]” I don’t understand how Keefe is so stupid that he can see all this evidence right in front of him, even admit it to Sophie, and still think his plan to join the Neverseen was a good one. I- He’s just so stupid. He just ignores every. Single. Red. Flag. Just because he thinks he’s smarter than everyone else. You cannot trust someone this tone-deaf. You just can’t. I don’t know why the narrative keeps pushing the idea that Keefe just needs Sophie’s trust and he’ll be fine. Can’t he understand that Sophie just cannot trust him? That it’s just not possible?

“[Keefe] I did warn you. I just didn’t know the specifics. [Sophie] I know. But that’s the thing neither of us have wanted to admit. If you can’t give the specifics, everything you’re doing is worthless.” How stupid do you have to be to have to have that spelled out for you? You need to give specific warnings or they’re worthless. But Keefe needs to believe what he’s doing is worth something. How else will he keep his head inflated?

“He thought she didn’t have a plan, and that everything she’d said was just an angry rant.” Wow. Just wow. Keefe doesn’t trust Sophie, nor does he listen to Sophie. He only listens to himself. Sophie just admitted that to herself. By not listening to her and taking her advice to heart, he invalidates her feelings and her plans for his own. Now, why is Sophie’s plan better than Keefe’s, logically speaking? Because Sophie has a specific idea of what she’s going to do now. Keefe doesn’t. And he doesn’t listen to her or take anything she says into consideration. If he genuinely believes he’s doing this “for Sophie”, he’s seriously delusional. 

“Is this going to be another one of those nights where you spend the whole time yelling at me to come home? Keefe asked, making her sit up straighter as his thoughts filled her head. Because as much as I love it when you get all feisty on me, now’s really not a good time.” God, Keefe is so subtly invalidating. He treats Sophie like she’s just his personal worry machine, not a person with valid concerns and ideas. The flippant way he talks about her worry for him makes me so mad. He takes her worry for granted and throws it back in her face, without a care for how it would affect her mental health. He brushes her off and invalidates her because he thinks he’s so much smarter than everyone else. Not to mention he calls her worry “feisty” and further infantilizes her feelings and ideas. 

“‘Dude, save your daddy issues for another time,’ Tam ordered. ‘Fintan doesn’t care about you. He doesn’t trust you. And if you go back to him, he’ll destroy you.’ Keefe’s eye roll was epic. ‘Don’t you need to go fix your bangs or something?’” In case you need more proof that Keefe is the stupidest, most pathetic idiot ever. First of all, Tam brings up a valid point. And Keefe’s response is to make a personal attack. You know, because he’s stupid and has nothing actually good to say in response. He’s completely pathetic, with his stupid rivalry with Tam clouding all his judgment. He treats Tam’s suggestion like it’s stupid because . . . Tam is the one who said it. He can’t even dignify Tam with a proper counterargument. He is so stupid, I can’t stand it. He doesn’t know when to stop joking around or when to stop taking shots at people. He’s straight-up mean, and this isn’t even a time to be joking. This is a serious situation, and all Keefe can think about is this pathetic animosity he has toward Tam. 

[cut because character limit]

“‘Please don’t do this,’ she begged. ‘If you leave here with that crystal, you’ll trap us—and you’ll compromise Alluveterre.’ ‘The Black Swan can sacrifice one hideout for what this will get me,’ Keefe said. ‘And you can teleport. There has to be a cliff around here you can jump off to get the momentum.’” Yes, what this will get you. What that’ll get you is . . . something that you turned over to the Neverseen yourself (Kenric’s cache). This whole mess is Keefe’s fault. If he had just been less stupid, he wouldn’t have to sacrifice the Black Swan’s hideout to get the caches. Yes, Fintan’s cache would be a gain, but it’s not strictly necessary or needed. Nobody asked him to get it, he just arbitrarily decided that it’s what they need. You know, because he thinks they need it. He doesn’t understand risk or reward, and he doesn’t understand that some things aren’t worth sacrificing. Other people will have different opinions on whether or not something’s worth something else, but Keefe doesn’t do teamwork. He hijacks plans, then ruins them. He works off of what he, an inexperienced, scared, reckless teenager, thinks is best. Then he executes his atrocious plans without a drop of consideration from anyone else. 

“[ . . . ] but I’m even better at fixing things.’” No, no you’re not, Keefe. When has he ever fixed a single thing, up until this point in the story? Never. He’s only ever tried to do things that would get him killed but then is always stopped by Sophie. No, not stopped. Stalled. Even Sophie can’t reel him in. He’s only ever made Sophie go out of her mind with worry over him. He has no credibility to say that he’s ever “fixed” something. It’s simply untrue. The truth is: Keefe messes things up way more than he fixes them. 

“‘[ . . . ] know that I will end this.’” Keefe still thinks he’s everyone’s savior, he still thinks he’s the hero they all need, instead of the idiot all their carefully arranged plans are ruined by. I have never seen such a stupid, idiotic, arrogant, blind character. But maybe I just need to read more.

“You realize I’m not actually pooping, right? I mean, I know we’ve shared a lot of things, but I don’t think poop should be one of them—unless it’s sparkly and from an alicorn. Or blasting like a geyser out of a gulon.” Keefe knows Sophie is mad at him, and knows he should be grateful she’s even reaching out to him, and yet all he does is make the stupidest, unfunniest jokes to annoy her. It’s like he’s trying to sabotage his relationship with her. Also, Shannon’s use of potty humor never fails to feel incredibly out of place and so, so juvenile. 

“It doesn’t matter what I think. It’s not like you listen to me. The thought had a snap to it, and Sophie could see Keefe’s mind sting. But she wasn’t going to apologize.” Good. She shouldn’t. He deserves to feel that “sting”. All he’s done is ruin things, worry Sophie, and think he’s the greatest ever. He deserves to be put in his place. This isn’t even half of what he deserves. 

““I’ll be outside Lumenaria as soon as I bust out of here. I don’t care if there are patrols, I’ll find a way to evade them. I want to be close—that way if you need me, I can help.” Keefe, you realize you can’t just bypass security, right??? Like, they’re experts, and you’re a stupid teenager. You can’t just hide from them forever. Also, wow. The sheer arrogance Keefe needs to have to assume that Sophie’s going to need him, and him in particular. He still sees himself as Sophie’s savior.

[cut because character limit]

“[Sophie] I wish he wasn’t coming here, she told Mr. Forkle. It’s way too risky, and he’s only doing it because he feels like he needs to make everything up to me. [Mr. Forkle] He does need to make it up to you. Haven’t you realized that yet? That’s why you and Mr. Sencen work so well together. You both push each other to believe in yourselves. Don’t go easy on him now because you’re afraid he’s too fragile. The more you let him prove himself, the more he’ll realize he’s still worthy.” He does need to make everything up to Sophie, but Mr. Forkle is just. So wrong. If someone consistently ruins everything, they shouldn’t be given several more chances to prove that they’re “still worthy”, especially not without some additional reflection on their actions and especially not in a high-stakes war. They’ll just mess everything up again??? That should be common sense to a leader of a rebel group. Keefe needs to learn his lesson, and the only way to have that happen is to punish him for his actions. He needs to face consequences, and in a way that makes sure he doesn’t screw anything up again. And that’s by forcing him to stand on the sidelines. He cannot be allowed onto the “battlefield”, so to speak, when he actively puts everyone in danger by being there. He needs to understand everything that happened was his fault, and he needs to do something to stop himself from screwing it all up again.

“Keefe’s smile was somehow both breathtaking and heartbreaking, but it faded as he stroked her cheek [ . . . ]” Why is he randomly stroking her cheek when she just got up??? It’s so weird. Nobody does that. It’s weird and he needs to stop. And no, “they’re good friends” is not a good excuse. It’s incredibly strange to start touching someone’s face out of the blue. I can practically see Shannon patting herself on the back and thinking it makes their bond so much stronger. Really, it makes it so much creepier.

“‘All those months with them, thinking I was playing everything perfectly. I bet they were onto me the whole time. Just like my mom said. And they were planning this.’ He punched the sand, sending it spraying around them. Sophie held him tighter. ‘This is not your fault, Keefe. None of us realized what they were up to.’” Ah, another forced consolation scene, my dearly detested! And, look, Shannon even squeezed a “It’s not your fault” in there. While Lumenaria coming down is obviously not Keefe’s fault, it definitely speaks to his ego that he thought he was smarter than the Neverseen. Yes, he’s realizing now that he was wrong, but it doesn’t change the fact that he should still have to face the consequences. He joined the enemy without anybody’s approval. He can’t work with a team without hijacking everything himself and overturning everyone else’s ideas. He should still have to face the consequences of what he did. “I know now that I was wrong” doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t show any real consequence. It shows a tiny bit of growth, but nothing solid or meaningful. It’s a throwaway line that you could honestly miss if you weren’t paying close attention.

“‘It’s still huge,’ Sophie promised. ‘I know it doesn’t feel like it—but the secrets in those caches have to be important. That’s a victory!’ ‘A pretty weak one,’ he grumbled, trying to look away. She reached up and turned his chin back, waiting for him to meet her eyes. ‘You have to let this go. Don’t let this ruin what we have here.’” No, he’s right, Sophie. For once in his life. Sophie tries to comfort Keefe, and this entire scene feels so weak, like Shannon is desperately reaching for drama to fuel her beloved forced consolation scenes. In reality, it’s very simple. The caches have nothing on real-life implications. So, yes, the caches are a victory, but it’s a very, very weak one, and not at all worth the things Keefe did to get them. Also, Sophie grabbing Keefe’s chin like that is very, very weird behavior. Nobody does that with their friends, just grabbing their chins to force them to look at them.

Nightfall

“He’d also been working every day to make up for his mistakes.” Thank you for telling us that instead of showing it, Shannon. If he really felt sorry, he’d understand that he needs to change and stop being so reckless before he can safely be a part of plans and schemes again. If he doesn’t realize that, he’ll never stop putting people in danger.

“So, when Fintan asked for my blood, I told him he needed to prove that I could trust him by answering one question. And once he did, I had to hold up my end of the deal.” In case you’re wondering, the number of things Keefe screwed up during his time with the Neverseen is now: compromising Alluveterre, giving up his blood, freeing Alvar (although we know that probably wouldn’t have mattered, since they got away, but Keefe didn’t know that at the time, so I mean), and being wrong several times about the Neverseen going after Grady and Edaline. 

“But Fintan interrogated me when I got back, and I had to use the crystal to convince him not to burn off my arm.” This is the guy Keefe thought trusted him, by the way. Come on, he can’t be this stupid. 

“[Sophie] Do you really think Fintan would help you steal the caches if they’re actually important? [Keefe] Yeah, Foster. I do. Because he had no idea that he gave me the other piece of the code phrase weeks earlier, after he had too much fizzleberry wine.” Wait, the leader of the Neverseen got drunk in front of a teenager he doesn’t trust, and Keefe didn’t find that suspicious??? At all??? Really??? I can’t believe Keefe is that dumb . . . actually wait. This is Keefe. Never mind, I believe it entirely. 

“Trading my blood was a bad call. But I SWEAR the caches are still a score.” Keefe’s cockiness has come back in full force, y’all. Remember that forced consolation scene at the end of Lodestar where Keefe lamented about how the caches were a weak victory? Well, why bother with consistency? He thinks they’re a “score” now! This is what I mean when I say the forced consolation scenes are so dumb and only there for Shannon to milk some worthless comfort between Sophie and Keefe. She has to force it, which means half the time it makes no sense, so she either has to pretend it didn’t exist and reset for the next one, or contradict herself like she did here. Either way, it will just lead to another forced consolation scene, and eventually there’s only so many times you can take Sophie and Keefe having the same conversation over and over again.

“I’ll fix this, okay? Keefe promised. I’m going to fix everything. You mean ‘we,’ Sophie corrected. WE are going to fix this.” Speak of the devil. Here comes a forced consolation scene. Also the fact that Keefe still believes he’s going to fix everything by himself shows he learned absolutely nothing from his mistakes. It’s Keefe, so why am I surprised that he’s gotten zero character development?

“Does that mean you don’t hate me? Keefe asked. His mental tone sounded softer—almost timid. [Sophie] I told you, I’m never going to hate you, Keefe. [Keefe] But I keep giving you new reasons to change your mind. [Sophie] Yeah, you really need to stop that. She offered him half a smile, and he gave her the same when she added, But we’re in this together.” Wow, Shannon didn’t even take that long to dive into a whole mess of a forced consolation scene, complete with a trademark “Don’t hate me, please”. Again, it makes no sense why Keefe thinks Sophie would hate him. She’s talking to him, isn’t she? And she never stopped. She isn’t mad at him and she doesn’t hate him, and that’s plainly obvious to anyone with a brain. But how else is Shannon going to milk the drama for all it’s worth, if not by repeating the same conversation over and over and making her characters look dumb in the process?

[cut because character limit]

“Sophie fussed with her jeweled sleeves—which matched the emeralds lining the knee-high boots she’d slipped over her lacy gray leggings. Biana had frustratingly pointed out that elaborate clothes would do a better job of disguising her gloves, so Sophie was trying to force herself to get used to wearing glitter and frills. Keefe’s lips tilted into his famous smirk as he crossed the room to stand closer. ‘I meant that as a compliment, Foster. Sparkles look good on you. So does the new hairdo.’” I know this is a (very annoying, very harmful) trope in fiction, but the fact that Sophie is visibly uncomfortable wearing fancy clothes, and Keefe's only response is to be like “Well, it looks good!” is so objectifying and degrading. It shows that he doesn’t particularly care about her feelings or comfort, only the way she looks to him. I get that it’s a trope, but most things about Keefe that I’m criticizing are tropes, so. 

“He reached up, his fingers skating gently along the edge of the intricate braid weaving through the front part of her hair.” Possibly Keefe’s most creepy trait is the way he just . . . randomly touches Sophie. Like completely out of the blue. He’ll just touch her face or hair, which is so strange. Like that isn’t normal, and you shouldn’t be touching someone there without explicit permission. Especially not in such a . . . implicative way.

“‘If you’re trying to impress me, it’s working,’ he told her, and she felt her cheeks warm—until he added, ‘But, you always impress me, so maybe you were thinking of someone else?’” What makes him think she’s dressing up for him specifically, or even for someone else? That’s such an arrogant assumption to make. As if everything Sophie does out of the ordinary must immediately be for him or some other guy. Also, if Sophie and Keefe are so close, why doesn't he know about her plan to dress up to hide her gloves?

“Somehow he’d moved closer, and Sophie’s throat went dry as he reached up and touched her braid again.” Keefe sure invades Sophie’s personal space a lot in this scene. That’s not romantic, by the way. It’s creepy and possessive.

“‘[ . . . ] and while I’m sure you and the Fitzster won’t mind the excuse to stare into each other’s eyes—’ ‘It’s called Cognate training,’ Sophie corrected. ‘And that’s not what we do.’ ‘Keep telling yourself that.’ Sophie ignored him.” Again, Shannon making the same joke over and over again isn’t going to make it funnier. Also, Keefe is once again annoying Sophie because he thinks it’s funny and cool. Sophie having to ignore him shows that she doesn’t want to talk about it.

“‘And yeah, she’s fooled me in the past. But I’ve had a lot of time to think about things, and I’m pretty sure I’ve figured her out.’” You’d think that Keefe would learn not to underestimate a Neverseen member from his double agent catastrophe (and he did, canonically), but of course, Shannon now needs to undo all his (small bit of) character development so he can make the same mistakes over and over. He is so stupid. And arrogant. And so many other things. If he thinks he can outsmart his mom, who’s been playing the long game this entire time, without a care or thought in even the vaguest direction of a plan, then I don’t even know what to say. And his use of the words “I” and “me” prove that he still thinks he can do this all himself. With no input from anyone else. So tell me, where exactly is his development from his failed double agent disaster?

“‘Pretty sure?’ Sophie repeated. ‘You want to risk everything on pretty sure?’ ‘The only thing I’m risking is me.’ ‘Which is way more than I’m willing to lose.’” Again, Keefe doesn’t care about anyone’s feelings about a plan except his. He only wants to barrel his way through life and he’ll do what he believes is the best thing for everyone, regardless of whether or not everyone else agrees. His constant need to risk himself is tiring and repetitive. When is he going to change and grow? It’s also incredibly selfish. He knows how that will affect his friends and loved ones, especially Sophie. And yet, he still wants to do it anyway. 

[cut because character limit]

“‘Keefe snorted. “I’m betting Bangs Boy won’t.’ ‘Well, maybe he would if you’d stop calling him Bangs Boy.’ ‘Yeah, but that’s never going to happen.’” Shannon once again makes a pathetic attempt to create this narrative that Keefe and Tam have this mutual dislike of each other and it’s funny because they’re similar and this and that and the other. Again, no, the “rivalry” started when Keefe got jealous of Tam because he saw Tam as competition over Sophie. And Tam doesn’t even hate Keefe. He just finds him an excruciating nuisance. Which he is.

“‘Sorry, Gigantor,’ he said through gritted teeth as he scrambled to the other side of the room. ‘Foolish is my specialty.’” Keefe displays a resistance to valuable character development and change, almost as if Shannon heard complaints about Keefe’s lack of development and doubled down on it, but none is as bad as this book gets it. Keefe adamantly states that “Foolish is [his] specialty”, as if that justifies his actions, and talks about being stupid as if it’s just a quirky little personality trait, not a flaw he needs to work on and fix. It’s not a flex. It’s something that he needs to fix, and as soon as possible, too. He can’t just keep being stupid and, when confronted, say “Well, that’s just how I am, so you’ll have to deal with it”. That is so selfish, I can’t even process it. He displays such a resistance to change, such an arrogant attitude toward himself where he thinks he’s fine the way he is, that even though he actively puts people in danger, he doesn’t see a need to work on himself.

“‘I’m all good now, Foster. Unless you want to try kissing it to make it better.’” Have some more hideously horrific Keefe-style flirtation.

“‘Unleash the lecture! Here, I’ll even start it for you.’ His voice shifted up to an uncanny impersonation of hers. ‘How dare you ambush me, Keefe? I don’t care if you’re the most gorgeous guy I’ve ever seen—WAY better looking than other guys with their dimples or weirdly teal eyes. You had no right to show up and surprise me like that!’” Keefe just can’t stop bashing Fitz or Dex, can he? He’s so possessive that he actively brings down his supposed friends in his quest to gain Sophie’s attention and approval. Tell me, if he’s really meant to end up with Sophie, why does he act so insecure about her friendships with other guys? And the fact that he’s treating a very serious issue like a joke shows, once again, that he cannot be serious. He can’t think about other people for even a millisecond if it means going against his own wishes. And when it’s all over, all he wants to do is joke about it and hope that calms the other person down so he won’t have to face the consequences of his actions. It’s really quite manipulative, if you think about it. Means that he can distract the other person from the fact that he disregarded them and brush it all under the rug. 

“‘Don’t I at least get points for not hailing her by myself, making the deal alone, and running off to Ravagog without you?’” No, because he still forced his own plan onto Sophie and didn’t care about her opinion at all, despite the fact that apparently they’re a team. Remember, Sophie did not have a say in any of this. 

“‘I didn’t want you hesitating because of me, so I thought I’d make the hard decision for you—but everything after that was up to you.’” There is no good justification for taking someone’s choice away from them, and the fact that “everything after that” was “up to” Sophie is irrelevant, because she’d already been forced into a course of action she didn’t believe was correct.

[cut because character limit]

“‘Or maybe you’d rather I put my incredible Empath talents to work and help you solve the complicated square you’re always telling yourself is a triangle?’” More cringy humor that’s Shannon's horrible attempt to be self-aware in her own story, featuring the literal use of the word square and triangle with regards to Sophie’s love life.

“‘Come on, Foster, admit it—that was pretty clever.’” There is nobody on the face of this planet that brags as much as Keefe does when he pulls one tiny, slightly smart thing.

“‘Did the Mysterious Miss F. just agree that I’m a genius? Because that’s what I heard! And it’s filled my heart with all the warmest, softest fuzzies.’” This quote is only a couple pages after the one before and oh, boy. Keefe really can’t stop patting himself on the back for a single good idea. I wonder where that comes from . . . maybe that arrogance I was talking about . . . 

“‘But whatever it takes, it’s going to happen. Do you know why?’ When she didn’t answer, he took both of her hands, and she couldn’t ignore the rush of warmth that tingled through her when she met his eyes. There was no teasing glint to be found. Just pure determination when he told her, ‘Because Team Foster-Keefe is going to win.’” Shannon’s ability to cram forced consolation scenes into just a few lines is truly astounding. First of all, this is incredibly cringy. I’m sorry, but it’s true. Keefe’s dialogue has never been so horrifically embarrassing to read. Also, the way he just randomly grabs her hands and stares into her eyes is so weird and so forced. Isn’t that what he’s always making fun of Sophie and Fitz for? At least they have a good reason. So that also makes him a hypocrite. 

“‘Just the usual,’ Keefe told him. ‘Foster’s going on and on and on about how she can’t live without me. It’s really quite exhausting.’” Keefe’s flirting is at its worst in this book. It’s genuinely so bad, I can’t understand how it can be mistaken for charming or funny. 

“‘His idea of excitement is when he changes the way he parts his hair.’” More examples of Keefe tearing people down using his jokes, even if it’s subtle.

“‘Maybe not run off and join the enemy?’ Fitz suggested. The words were like a record scratch, screeching everyone into awkward silence. This was the first time they’d all been together since Keefe’s betrayal. Keefe cleared his throat. ‘Yeah . . . so . . . about that.’” Keefe only apologizes because Fitz brings it up. He never would’ve done it without that. He doesn’t bring it up himself, so it doesn’t really mean much. Yes, Sophie tries to tell him he doesn’t have to apologize and he still does it, but he wouldn’t have without Fitz bringing up how he ran away. 

“‘I’m sorry. I know you think I’m an idiot for running off. And . . . I guess I am. I thought the fact that my mom had built something she called my “legacy” meant that I was valuable enough to the Neverseen that they’d bring me in on all their plans and I could find a way to stop them. But it turns out I’m worthless.’” He’s not worthless, he’s stupid. And the wording of this is very intentional on Shannon’s part. It’s intentionally worded to attract pity and sympathy. It’s poor Keefe again, being called worthless again, oh, we should all go and feel sorry for him now. He is such a pity magnet. And he didn’t even apologize for the right thing. He apologizes for being stupid, sure, but he never apologizes for disregarding everyone’s feelings and ideas and forcing his own plan into action without consulting others. He never apologizes for not considering others’ feelings. It’s all just me, me, me with him. 

[cut because character limit]

“‘No, you’re not.’ Surprisingly, the words came from Tam. ‘Having a family like yours messes with your head,’ he added, tugging his bangs over his eyes. ‘I know how that goes. You still made a bad call—or lots of bad calls, actually. But . . . if you don’t do it again, we’re cool.’” Oh, and it works! The next line is Tam telling him that it’s not his fault, because his family’s bad! That doesn’t change the fact that Keefe made a decision to not tell anyone what he was planning, deciding to compromise several key pieces of intel so he could get back something he gave away, and generally be very arrogant. He didn’t consult or talk with anybody about it. Yes, Tam acknowledges that Keefe made “bad calls”, but where’s the mention of Keefe’s utter disregard for ideas that aren’t his?

“‘The only reason I’m including Keefe is because his mom seems to want him involved. Why else would she insist we contact her with his blood?’ ‘Plus, y’know, Foster can’t live without me,’ Keefe added. ‘Don’t make me smack you,’ Sophie warned. Keefe smirked. ‘I’d like to see you try.’” First of all, Sophie’s reasoning is chock full of logical fallacies. Yes, Keefe’s mother wants him to be involved, but why does that mean he, in particular, needs to go to Ravagog? They have no information at this point that says that he needs to be the one to go. And why should they listen to Keefe’s mom anyway? They don’t trust her. Also, Keefe annoys Sophie on purpose once again, and his annoying flirting gets even worse. Also, Shannon insists on making the same joke over and over, but this time, the last time he made that joke was less than a chapter ago, so it’s even more annoying. 

“‘Should we take bets on how many stairs Foster makes it up before she trips?’ Keefe asked. ‘I say she’ll lose it on the sixth step.’” Who. Wrote this??? It’s genuinely so bad. I swear, almost everything Keefe says in this book is top tier cringe.

“He snickered. ‘At least this proves I know you better than the Fitzster.’ ‘No, it’s that I have more faith in her,” Fitz corrected. “That’s what being Cognates means.’ ‘And yet, I seem to remember Foster hiding some sort of important secret from you during your trust exercises. Did something change while I was gone, or . . . ?’” Keefe is so weirdly possessive of Sophie. He acts like every single thing is this ridiculous tug-of-war over her with Fitz. He never passes up an opportunity to take shots at Fitz, his supposed best friend. Also, guessing when someone will trip is pure chance. That doesn’t show any sort of bond at all. I’m going to interpret that as a joke, because there’s no way even Keefe is stupid enough to believe that. He prods at Sophie and Fitz’s weak spots (the secret), like he’s hoping it will unravel. All he cares about is putting down Sophie and Fitz’s cognate relationship and bolstering his own relationship with Sophie. It’s such a disgusting yet subtle thing to do. Honestly, if Shannon had handled Keefe better, he could’ve been a character that could be used to teach kids about subtly manipulative and toxic relationships.

“‘Ugh, anyone else ready to vomit from the Fitzphie?’ Keefe asked. ‘I am,’ Dex said, as Linh asked, ‘Did Fitzphie become an actual thing?’ ‘I don’t even know what “Fitzphie” is supposed to mean,’ Tiergan noted. ‘Want me to explain it?’ Tam offered.” Seriously. Who wrote this. Shannon. What. What is this. The excessive use of in-story ship names is atrocious, but Shannon decides to double down on it. Leaving that aside, Keefe expresses a desire to “vomit from the Fitzphie”. Tell me that’s not possessiveness. Keefe is such an atrocious, toxic friend, and Shannon really cranks it up to eleven in this book. All he does is whine about how close Fitz and Sophie are, tear their cognate relationship down, claim his relationship to Sophie is better, and generally act very possessive of Sophie.

[cut because character limit]

“‘Ugh, score one for Fitzphie,’ Keefe mumbled.” Here, we see Keefe literally track points as if Sophie is a game he needs to win against Fitz (his “best friend”). All Keefe does is act jealous of Fitz and Sophie because he selfishly wants to be with Sophie. His constant whining is so annoying and again, Shannon use of ship names in-book is the most cringy, appalling move I’ve seen her make.

“‘I know! Our little girl is growing up and getting so snarky!’ Keefe pretended to wipe his teary eyes. ‘I’ve never been so proud.’” “Our little girl” . . . that totally isn’t creepy or infantilizing at all. The way Keefe talks about Sophie here is genuinely so gross, even if it is a joke. 

“‘We still do,’ Sophie argued. ‘We just have a lot going on.’ ‘And yet I sure seem to see a lot of Keefe these days. . . .’” He’s not wrong, Sophie. You kinda, sorta neglect everyone that’s not Keefe. It’s annoying how much attention he gets when he’s not even the main character.

“Keefe spotted the crush cuffs about ten seconds after he got to Havenfield the next morning—despite the long-sleeved tunic Sophie had worn to keep them covered. And he dragged out the rest of the story with a relentless bombardment of questions.” Can Keefe keep his nose out of Sophie’s personal business for even a minute??? The “dragged” here is very telling: Sophie would not have chosen to tell Keefe all this of her own free will. He bombards her with questions, and so she tells him, not because she wants to, but because she knows that he won’t shut up until he has the full story. This is Sophie’s secret. Sophie’s business (and Dex’s). Keefe has no right to ask about the cuffs at all. The fact that he “retelentless[ly]” asked her questions until she was forced to tell him the entire story is not a good thing. It does not demonstrate trust, but quite the opposite: a breach of personal boundaries. Keefe is so toxic, I honestly find it impressive how Shannon has twisted him into a seemingly perfect-angel love interest.  

“‘In his head, he wanted the Dexphie ship to set sail so badly that he kept fighting for it, even when he got some pretty clear signals that he was bound for a crash.’” I’m sure you can guess my feelings about the use of the word “ship” in-story with regards to romantic ships. Shannon really needs to stop making Keefe act like he’s outside of the story observing it like the audience is. It’s just. Too cringe. 

“Keefe smirked. ‘So that’s what kept you up tossing and turning? Wondering if I’ve registered for the match?’ ‘Ugh, that’s so not what I was saying.’ ‘Suuuuuuurrrrre it wasn’t.’” Keefe once again annoys Sophie just because he thinks it’s funny. Also, thank everything that’s holy for e-books. I would not have looked forward to typing that whole word out by hand. 

“‘Everything?’ Keefe asked. ‘Even . . . ’ He made an obnoxiously loud kissing sound. Sophie shoved him away.” Keefe’s horrific flirting is even cringier than normal in this scene. Nobody talks like this. And his favorite pastime of annoying Sophie comes around again.

“But then he leaned back and added, ‘I have way too much fun annoying you.’ Sophie sighed. ‘That does seem to be one of your talents.’ ‘And you adore me for it. In fact, maybe we should find out if we’re meant to be.’ He puckered his lips and Sophie shoved him a little harder that time.” Keefe blatantly admits that he loves to annoy Sophie. Annoying someone is not the basis for a good relationship. What are Keefe and Sophie even going to talk about once the Neverseen are defeated? It’ll just be Keefe annoying Sophie and Sophie acting annoyed, and Shannon pretending that’s romantic. And the part where Keefe says Sophie “adore[s] [him]” for annoying her??? What??? There are several points in the story where it’s clear that this isn’t true (and I’ve pointed out all of them, hopefully). Nobody likes being annoyed. Especially not on the regular and especially not when that’s Keefe’s only real personality trait. Put this all together with some of Keefe’s heinous flirting, and you get the recipe for a perfectly cringy scene. 

[cut because character limit]

“‘Do you realize that thanks to you, sweet, innocent little Dex has now kissed someone before I have? And you too?’” It’s not a competition, Keefe. Geez. Also, wow he really thinks that because he’s a “cool prankster rebellious bad boy”, he should be the first one to get a kiss??? That’s what the “sweet, innocent little Dex” comment is telling me. Does Keefe really, actually think in stereotypes???

“‘I realize it’s hard to believe, considering . . . ’ He waved his arm in front of himself, like his looks said it all. ‘Don’t get me wrong—I’ve had plenty of offers, but . . . ’” Kill me now. This is a fantastically cringy line, complete with Keefe’s cringy tendency to draw attention to his looks. We get it. You look good. It doesn’t need to be your entire personality. 

“‘How about I steal the Fitzster’s match packet for you?’ Keefe suggested.” I hope that wasn’t a serious suggestion. Genuinely. But Keefe is such a shitty friend, I think he would’ve done it if Sophie had wanted him to. He’s willing to steal a very personal document and give it to someone Fitz doesn’t want to see it. You know. Just because.

“‘Am I supposed to see this as bravery?’ Dimitar asked him. ‘The arrogant young elf lord who dares to taunt me?’ ‘Psh, like the Council would ever make me a lord,” Keefe snorted. “Though, Lord Keefe does have a nice ring to it.’” Who responds like that to that sort of question??? Keefe was accused of arrogance by a king that has something he desperately needs and his response is literally just make jokes. More evidence that he can’t be serious even when the time calls for it.

“‘That’s not what we agreed on!’ Sophie snapped. ‘Maybe not. But I’m not going to let you face any consequences for this.’ Keefe slipped his mom’s scroll from his pocket and Sophie felt her jaw fall, wondering when he’d stolen it from her.” I think you know what I’m going to say, because I’ve said it a million times already: Keefe doesn’t care about Sophie’s feelings or input, he hijacks their shared plan for his own, he steals from her, blah, blah, blah. But you might be thinking, Wait, but Sophie does get mad at Keefe this time and does hold him accountable this time. He actually learns and grows! And you would be partially correct. But not completely. So this quote is mostly here because I’ll refer back to it later. I’ll write it in red so you can find it easier. 

“‘That was an incredibly dangerous move,’ Lady Cadence told Keefe, blocking him from following the ogre king. ‘Oh, you want to talk about dangerous?’ he asked. ‘How about the part when you almost started a brawl with King Dimitar? You were supposed to be the person at this meeting that he actually likes—that’s why we brought you!’” The two scenarios are not even remotely comparable. Keefe acted irrationally, with no inkling as to how Dimitar would react. He didn’t know what would happen, and he clearly planned this all in advance, even though he knew it was dangerous. Lady Cadence simply pointed out a breach in trust in her relationship with King Dimitar and told him she didn’t appreciate it. She knows Dimitar and considers him a friend, so she knew she wasn’t in any real danger from him. The idea that she “almost started a brawl” with the king is a complete exaggeration. She also wasn’t planning on having that conversation, it simply came up.

“‘And you can hate me if you want. But I made a promise when I found out my mom was with the Neverseen—she only gets to hurt me. It’s the only way I can live with myself.’” How noble. Except it gives him a convenient excuse to play the hero and ruin a group-made plan in favor of his own because of his own arrogance and overconfidence. So, not so noble. 

“Keefe grinned. ‘You really are adorable when you worry. But you don’t need to. I wouldn’t have agreed if I didn’t know I can handle it. See?’ He pulled his hands free and showed her how steady they were.” More of Keefe’s infantilization of Sophie! Yay! And if he really thinks he can handle it, he’s a massive idiot. A massive, arrogant idiot.

[cut because character limit]

“His motions were somehow both sluggish and erratic, and when he tried to pivot, the weapon slipped from his grasp.” And here is where we need to talk less about Keefe as a person and more about the way he’s written. Here, it’s explicitly stated that Keefe is terrible with a blade. Makes sense, he’s never handled one before. But, as we know, he’s about to defeat the ogre king in a sparring match. Keefe largely uses his skills in the match, but in terms of plot, it still makes no sense that he’d be able to defeat the king of a species whose entire culture is based around fighting and war. Yes, he’s trained in his skills extensively, but he’s never actually used them in a spar like this. There’s so much more to battle besides simply throwing everything you’ve got at your opponent. Dimitar should be able to predict what Keefe’s going to do next, even if Keefe tries a sneak attack, because Keefe’s never learned to hide that and never learned how to disguise his next move. Dimitar should be able to wear Keefe out so much that he doesn’t have the energy to use his skills anymore, because Keefe’s never learned how to conserve energy in a useful manner during a battle and never learned how to make every single strike count. Dimitar should be able to take Keefe down in a single strike, because Dimitar should know where the body’s weak spots are and how to cause the most pain with the least effort, which Keefe doesn’t know. So, no, Keefe simply using his skills should not be enough to defeat Dimitar when he has nothing else in his arsenal. And this is all to say: the point of this sparring match is to make Keefe look a hero. Even if it makes no sense. Keefe is written to be triumphant in this scene. It’s plot convenience at its finest. Shannon loves to do this with Keefe, where she’ll make him have some ability he realistically wouldn’t have because she needs him to be somewhat badass to uphold his “bad boy” image. 

“‘The grip on that one’s faulty,’ Keefe mumbled, kicking the weapon aside and snatching a dagger with a palm-length blade. ‘This one looks perfect for sneak attacks.’ ‘You can’t sneak up on him in an open ring,’ Sophie argued.” More evidence of Keefe just straight-up being incompetent when it comes to fighting. Which is fine by itself. But he can’t be incompetent at fighting and also win a sparring match against the king of a species known for their legendary fighting skills. Again, this scene is a massive example of plot convenience to make a character look good. It shows how Shannon favors Keefe. Honestly, he should’ve just lost the sparring match. Would’ve made the scene more interesting, and might’ve given Sophie, the main character, a chance to shine by quickly improvising a way to talk King Dimitar into giving up the starstone anyway. It might’ve also curbed Keefe’s ego, though I doubt it. 

“‘The only loss will be yours!’ Keefe sidestepped Sophie and charged into the ring, dagger raised, eyes wild, leaping for the ogre king.” Another example of Keefe’s straight-up stupidity. 

“‘There you are,’ Keefe whispered, his breath warm on her cheeks. ‘You’re good now, right?’” Keefe stop breathing all over Sophie’s face challenge. 

“‘I’ve never been so proud of us!’ Keefe said, holding up his hand for a high five.” I’d just like you to remember that Keefe can feel Sophie’s emotions. He knows how angry she is at him right now. And his immediate reaction is to try to joke his way out of it instead of treating it seriously until he’s forced to by Sophie. He literally tries to dumb this down and make it seem like it’s not as bad as it is so that Sophie won’t be mad at him. It doesn’t work, but it’s an incredibly manipulative thing to do. 

“‘Awww, my girl keeps getting snarkier and snarkier,’ Keefe said proudly. ‘I’m not your girl,’ Sophie snapped back. ‘And don’t think I’m done being mad at you!’” Keefe calling Sophie “my girl” is a form of infantilization, because he obviously doesn’t mean “my girlfriend”. Thankfully he gets called out on it. This time. 

[cut because character limit]

“Foster’s not ready to face her feelings,’ Keefe stage-whispered. ‘I’m ready to strangle you,’ Sophie countered.” Keefe’s joking here (and in the process annoying Sophie, but what else is new), but the implication is obviously that Sophie’s too scared of her feelings to face them and that she needs Keefe to swoop in and decipher them for her. Her own feelings. Do you see how that might not be the best thing to say, Keefe? Do you? Even if someone is wrong about their own feelings, that’s their prerogative. It’s always their choice of whether or not they want to face their own feelings or not.

“‘Maybe you’ll finally knock some sense into him.’ ‘I doubt it.’ Keefe winked, but Sophie looked away.” More of Keefe acting like his stupidity is just a quirky little trait instead of a flaw that could cost him or someone else their life. Being stupid is not a personality trait. It’s a flaw. He needs to stop treating being stupid like it’s this innate trait that’s just a part of who he is. It’s not.

“‘I’m guessing at least a week. Maybe more.’ ‘Yeah, that’s not happening,’ Keefe told him. ‘You’ll regret it if you don’t,’ Elwin warned. ‘Play this smart and the most you’ll have is a thin scar. But if you’re not careful, you could end up with nerve damage.’” Is Keefe really so stupid that he’s going to choose to have permanent damage because he won’t bed rest for a week of his life? This is. I can’t even.

“‘That depends on what my mom tells us,” Keefe argued. “If we’re heading straight to Nightfall—’ ‘You’re not going to Nightfall,’ Sophie interrupted. ‘You’re doing bed rest until Elwin says you’re better.’ Keefe smirked. ‘It’s cute that you think that.’” Why does Keefe need to be so stubborn about everything? Even this??? He literally throws away a perfectly smart thing to do with no drawbacks because . . . he wants to be with Sophie when she goes to Nightfall. That’s it. Again, he pedestalizes Sophie to such an extent that it makes him stupid. 

“Keefe wrapped his arm around Sophie. ‘Foster gets all worked up when she’s trying to protect me.’ ‘That’s not what this is about!’ Sophie snapped, pulling away.” Keefe literally tries to flirt his way out of Sophie’s anger, with a dash of infantilization thrown in for funsies. 

“‘Though would it kill you to do the smart thing, just once, and actually listen to someone when they’re giving you good advice, instead of thinking you know everything and doing whatever you want?’ Keefe considered that for a second. ‘Yeah, that might actually kill me.’” I seriously have no words. Keefe literally admitted that he’s stubborn to an excruciating extent, stupid, and arrogant, and he doesn’t see a problem with that at all. He genuinely just believes that they're innate parts of him, not flaws. 

“Sophie couldn’t look at Keefe after that. She didn’t want to see the hurt in his eyes as she dug out her home crystal.” If he’s hurting in this scene, then he deserves to be hurting. All he’s done is do stupid stuff and hijack everything without consideration for other people. So, yeah. He deserves it. 

“‘In case you need help deciding, I’d go with the part of you that wants to run over here for an epic Team Foster-Keefe hugfest, and not the part that wants to rip off my arms and smack me with them.’” Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. Starting in this book, Shannon uses the suffix “fest” incessantly, and doesn’t stop. It’s such a terrible choice that while it’s cringy the first few times, it quickly becomes unbearable as she keeps doing it. And Keefe gets it the worst.

[cut because character limit]

“‘I’ve also been eavesdropping outside—plus, Forkle hailed me this morning and caught me up on everything that’s been happening. So I already know about the giant beast things my mom made, and how we have a drugged Alvar in custody, and how all that boring stuff from Lady Cadence’s report about bacteria turned out to have something to do with flowers, and how there’s apparently another Nightfall in Atlantis that’s not part of my legacy, and that’s where we need to go to get your parents. Oh, and my mom wants us to steal from it and destroy it—which totally kills the fun, but I’m still game for blowing a Neverseen hideout off the planet.’” Another example of Shannon using Keefe as narration. It’s like she doesn’t trust that her audience will follow the story, so she feels the need to recap it. But wait, that’s boring! It’s fine, just have a ““““““humorous”””””” character do it! It’s a trick a lot of writers do when they think their audience is stupid, or they think what they wrote is too convoluted and want to make sure their audience has it straight. It’s also something authors do to pat themselves on the back, like, See? I wrote all that. And you just spent the last third of the book reading all that. Now, appreciate how much work I put in. I’m not saying Shannon doesn’t deserve praise for that plotline, and I genuinely think it's good, but I can’t stand it when she uses Keefe as a summary or narration gimmick. She could’ve just had Keefe say “I know everything I missed” and left it at that.

“‘How much groveling am I going to have to do before you trust me again?’” Keefe shouldn’t have to “grovel” to regain Sophie’s trust. Groveling is just words, no action. To regain trust, he’s going to have to prove that he won’t hijack everything and take over again. This is why this particular arc (miniarc?) of Keefe’s makes no sense. He only goes through this development because Sophie was mad at him, not because he actually realizes something about himself. And then Sophie immediately trusts him again and lets him work with her on everything again without any period of time where she’s suspicious of Keefe. What I’m saying is, Keefe’s breach of Sophie’s trust never really impacts their relationship. They have a fight, immediately make up the very next time they see each other, and then it’s over and done. There’s no period of time where it’s still a sore spot. No work to get to a point where Sophie feels like she can really trust Keefe again. As a result, it falls completely flat because Keefe didn’t earn anything. He just apologized and that’s it. But that shouldn’t be it. He should have a long way to go from now. An apology is just the start. Sophie shouldn’t forgive instantly. It just feels so cheap. It really shows how Shannon just wants a quick fix to Keefe’s problems instead of a real arc with real character development. 

[cut because character limit]

“‘I’m sorry, Sophie. Really. And I’ll do whatever it takes to make it up to you. That’s why I stayed in bed, even though I knew my mom had to be dragging you into a million dangerous things. I wanted to prove that I could do the right thing. Well, that and Ro threatened to tie me down and cover me in flesh-eating bacteria if I didn’t, and I could tell she meant it.’” Keefe says that he stayed in bed because Sophie would’ve wanted him to and because he wanted to “do the right thing”. That’s . . . not what his motive should’ve been. His intention should’ve been to get stronger and heal. That’s it. There should be none of this nonsense about “doing it for Sophie” or “doing the right thing”. He should want to get better so that he doesn’t have permanent damage. Again, his weird obsession with impressing Sophie and doing whatever he thinks she’ll want is showing through, and had Shannon been a better author, she could’ve made it a flaw and related it back to his abusive parents and how he’s always craving attention because he never got enough from them or something. But instead, it’s hailed as a great quality. So, remember when I said I’d refer back to that quote I wrote in red? This quote is a primary example that, while he does apologize to Sophie, he doesn’t actually change from this incident. There are several moments down the line where you will see that Keefe still hijacks plans and still disregards Sophie’s feelings. An apology, sure, but there’s no actual growth. (I’ll put this quote in red too, so it’s easy to see that these two things I’m bringing up are connected into one big point.) So to people making the argument that Keefe was finally held accountable and developed from this whole thing, I hate to say it, but Keefe is just as infuriatingly arrogant as before. 

“‘Because you can be wrong and still smarter than these guys,’ Keefe told her with a grin.” Ah, Keefe’s arrogance never fails to make me cringe practically out of my body. Maybe if he was more open-minded, we wouldn’t have to deal with his stupidity.

“‘So maybe you do it wrong,’ Tam suggested. ‘It’s a puzzle,’ Keefe argued. ‘The pieces should only fit together one way.’” Keefe is so stupid that he literally tries to claim that the “pieces should only fit together one way” after just having seen evidence to the contrary. Literally, I’m not kidding, Sophie just put the puzzle together differently than him like two seconds ago and he says this. I knew he was arrogant, but damn. Can’t Shannon tone it down a little to at least try to make it seem like she gave Keefe actual development?

“‘She probably thinks I’m too dumb to put the key together the right way.’” This logic is so stupid. Even if Keefe was dumb enough to not be able to put it together, it’s not like he works alone. Someone in the Black Swan or something would’ve figured it out. And his mom knows that. His entire argument here makes no sense.

“He reached up and wiped one of the tears trickling down her cheeks.” Another weird example of Keefe touching Sophie’s face. It’s quite creepy, and it’s strange how Shannon tries to make it seem touching.

[cut because character limit]

“‘Okay, two choices,’ Keefe told her, standing up and tilting her chin toward him. ‘You can tell me what’s wrong. Or I can put my Empath powers to work—but keep in mind, Option B will likely pick up on all kinds of other feelings.’ Sophie gave him her surliest scowl, but he didn’t back down.” First of all, here’s another example of Keefe touching Sophie’s face creepily. Secondly, Keefe just extorted Sophie’s personal feelings out of her. He just threatened to use his empathy on her if she didn’t tell him what was going on. He then said that if she didn’t tell him the thing she obviously doesn’t want to tell him, he’d not only use his power on her and figure it out, but would also probably pick up on other things she doesn’t want him knowing about. Sophie then makes it very obvious that she doesn’t want to do it, but he “didn’t back down”, by which Shannon of course means “didn’t respect Sophie’s feelings and her right to keep them to herself”. That is so. That is just. I don’t understand how Shannon somehow managed to twist this into Keefe caring about Sophie. He threatened, coerced, manipulated, and extorted her into telling him, sure, but caring about her??? Don’t make me laugh. Keefe is possibly the most toxic character in this entire series, and it is disgusting how Shannon gives the impression that this is caring behavior, or correct in any capacity at all. When someone wants to be left alone, you leave them alone. Keefe needs to go back to seventh grade health class, where they teach you that no means no. 

“‘I take it that means you haven’t joined Team Foster-Keefe?’ Ro asked. ‘Because I have to admit, they’re pretty cute together. Especially when she gets that look in her eye like she’s going to tear off his head.’” Ro is . . . a whole other subject. But oh, god. Shannon. What are you doing. If someone consistently and constantly “gets [a] look” in their eye like they’re “going to tear off” the other person’s head, then that’s a sign that that other person is annoying and that they don’t enjoy spending time together. The other person is obviously driving the first person crazy and enjoys it, so why would you encourage that??? Stop feeding into this narrative that that’s a healthy thing to have. It’s not. It’s completely toxic for Keefe to take pleasure in annoying Sophie, and it’s disgusting that Sophie is just expected to put up with it.

“‘Figured you guys would say that,’ Keefe told them, ‘even though you can’t really stop us.’ He winked at Sophie.” Oh, boy. Shannon’s really leaning into Keefe’s “bad-boy” persona, isn’t she? Someone needs to explain to her the level of cringe this invokes. Also, the winking is back. Wow, isn’t Keefe so cool. You know, cuz he winks at Sophie like they're in on a secret or something. Isn’t that so badass.

“‘But I think you’re also forgetting, Foster, that we’ve managed to get a lot done when school is in session. We stopped the gnomish plague while going to Exillium—and you managed to look into the Everblaze while juggling midterms. You even got your abilities fixed—and healed Alden—during the first term this year.’” Shannon, please stop using Keefe as summary and narration. We know. We read the series. We don’t need you to recap it for us. We’re well aware.

“‘You’re welcome for making it so you don’t have to stare at ten thousand reflections of yourself every day,’ Keefe told him. Sophie elbowed Keefe as she sat beside him. ‘You don’t get to brag about leaving me covered in shattered glass.’” Keefe literally just joked about destroying Foxfire . . . wow. The audacity is. Just, wow. Sure, Sophie calls him out, but it’s very light-hearted. Again, Keefe is incapable of being serious, even when the topic or time calls for it.

[cut because character limit]

“‘Much as I’m enjoying this sudden overflow of adorable Foster-rage—it’s not worth it.’” Ah, more of Keefe infantilizing Sophie and invalidating her feelings. If someone finds your anger or worry “adorable” and acts like it’s this cute little quirk, then that’s never a good thing. Especially if they enjoy it. Someone who cares about you should never enjoy seeing you angry or worried. 

“‘Uh, we all know Foster can’t bear to be away from me—and art is about honesty. That’s why I made sure I have the best hair.’” Sometimes, I wonder how some of the shit Keefe says can even be real. How is he not collapsing from the cringe? Keep in mind, this is all taking place in front of a large audience.

“‘Only for some people,’ Biana noted. ‘He gave the rest of us mood candy. Again.’” Yes, because he only cares about Sophie and prioritizes her over everyone. He only cares about her feelings and her wishes. He doesn’t extend the same courtesy to anyone else. In other words, he pedastalizes Sophie to such an extent, it makes him blind to other people’s wishes. He has such tunnel vision, it’s funny. He’s very neglectful of his other friends.

“‘I’m sure she didn’t. This’—he traced a finger over the crease between her eyebrows—’doesn’t make you very convincing.’” Keefe really needs to stop touching Sophie’s face weirdly.

“He strode over to her, and she tried to back away but crashed into the wall.” Ah, the infamous scene. Keefe once again invades Sophie’s personal space. He moves toward her, and when she tries to move away from him, he doesn’t let her move. Wow. Real upstanding guy. This is not romantic. This is creepy. 

“‘Oh, I know. But you’re forgetting something, Foster.’ He was close enough to reach out and gently tuck her hair behind her ear as he leaned in to whisper, ‘I like a challenge.’” And then, as if creeping all over Sophie wasn’t enough, he gets up in her face, touches her face, and says this cringy-ass line. Again, this is not romantic. This is creepy. 

“‘On the one hand, the look on Fitz’s face is pretty priceless right now, and I know it’s killing him not to say, ‘But we’re Cognates!’ But on the other hand . . . don’t go thinking this lets you into the Foster Fan Club, Bangs Boy!’” Can Keefe let any guy in their group do anything for Sophie without immediately seeing him as a threat?

“She could feel him reaching for her glove—and yanked her hand away.” Keefe tries to breach Sophie’s boundaries. But what else is new.

“If she’d had it her way, she’d be alone. She’d even tried asking Keefe to leave, but there was no getting rid of him.” Sophie literally asked Keefe to leave her alone, and he didn’t. He disrespects her boundaries, invalidates her feelings and assumes that she wants him around all the time, even when she tells him she doesn't want him there. That’s not being caring, that’s thinking you know someone else’s feelings better than they know their own feelings. This might be Keefe’s worst act yet. When someone wants to be left alone, you leave them alone. You don’t assume that they don’t know their own wishes and encroach on their space, instead. It’s disgusting and manipulative, and the fact that Shannon said that in a throwaway, forgettable line shows that she doesn’t understand how horrific that is. It’s also another example of Keefe being arrogant and assuming that Sophie always needs him when she’s down. Only him, because he knows her so well! It’s very cocky and somewhat entitled behavior.

Nightfall Short Story:

“‘Look! I’m all better!’ Keefe promised [ . . . ]” Why did Shannon have to make Keefe so unbearably annoying. Like, seriously. He’s told he’s going to have permanent damage if he doesn’t do bed rest and his reaction is literally Oh, well. He needs to stop treating serious issues like jokes.

“‘I can always pry those pouty lips open and pour it down your throat,’ Ro added with a smile that showed every single one of her pointed teeth.” Why is Keefe refusing to take his medicine??? Is he really that stupid and excruciating?

“‘It’s only for a week’ ‘Uh, do you realize how many times Foster can almost die in a week?’” Does Keefe really think he can stop Sophie from almost dying??? Just because of his . . . presence??? Wow, he’s even more arrogant than I thought. 

“He didn’t care what anyone said. Sophie needed his help.” Oh, boy. He really does see himself as her savior. How adorable. And by adorable, I mean obsessive and creepy. Is he really so stupid and stubborn that he’s willing to risk doing permanent damage to his body just so he can . . . see her? He won’t even be able to go with her to Nightfall??? What exactly does he think he’s going to do?

“Then he was lost to his floaty dreams, most of which focused on the gold-flecked brown eyes he could never get out of his head.” What Wattpad author held a gun to Shannon’s head for her to write this??? Damn . . . he really does have an unhealthy obsession with her. 

“‘It is. It’s going to take me a little while to make it—but it’ll seriously top every gift she’s been given before.’” Fantastic. So he’s still as arrogant as ever. Even after whatever miniscule amount of character development he supposedly gets in this story.

“From that point on, he only had one goal: to be whatever Sophie needed. Not the hero. Not the one taking charge of everything. Just a guy ready to listen and help and be there for her. A friend. Until she was ready for more.” The fact that his “one goal” is essentially to be obsessed with Sophie is kinda. Not good. Keefe is a classic case of obsessed-with-the-love-interest syndrome. It takes over everything and he can’t even do a week of bed rest without obsessing over her every single day of it. Also, the part at the end where he says “Until she was ready for more” . . . bro. I do not have the words to describe how disgusting that is. He just sort of . . . assumes that one day he and Sophie will end up together. Now, think back to all the times he’s begged Sophie not to hate him. Even at this moment, he knows Sophie’s angry with him. If he truly thought she would hate him, why would he assume that he’d end up with her someday? It’s a walking contradiction. It’s so revolting to assume that one day someone you like will end up with you. It also proves my point that Shannon only throws all those “Please don’t hate me”s in there to attract pity for Keefe. If he actually believed she would ever hate him, he wouldn’t assume so readily that one day she would be “ready for more”. Pick a lane Shannon: he can either be sure Sophie will want to be with him someday, or he can think she hates him, but you can’t have it both ways. They’re opposites.

Flashback:

“‘[ . . . ] forced herself to meet Keefe’s ice blue eyes. ‘I’m fine.’ When he raised one eyebrow, she added, ‘I’m just frustrated [ . . . ]’” (7) That’s right, the page numbers return. And I have physical copies of the rest of the series, so they’re here to stay. It may seem like Keefe is just trying to check on Sophie and make sure she’s okay, which is a noble cause, but when someone says they don’t want to talk about something, that means they don’t want to talk about it. That does not mean you prod and prod until they spill. So many things Sophie tells Keefe get twisted and people think she tells him because she trusts him, but more often than not she doesn’t and he just prods her or extorts them out of her.

“‘You’re so adorable when you worry. I’ve told you that, right?’” (12) Yes, you have, and saying it more doesn’t make it any less icky and gross and infantilizing. It’s like he’s dumbing Sophie down to this object who only exists to entertain him with her adowabuw wittle feewings, instead of a person with very real, very complex emotions.

“He traced his thumb over the sliver of skin between her glove and the edge of her beaded sleeve. ‘There’s something you’re not saying right now. I can feel it.’” (12) Keefe once again breaches boundaries because he can’t keep his nose out of other people’s personal feelings. He has no right to just help himself to Sophie’s emotions like that. It’s a massive breach of boundaries, and then using that to try to pry the secret out of her is nothing short of repulsive behavior.

“‘Come on, Foster. It’s me. You know you can trust me.’” (12) Does she? Does she know that? Because it seems like in order to trust Keefe, Sophie would have to know that for herself, instead of having Keefe feed that to her. Sophie likely does trust Keefe, even if her trust is misplaced, but saying it like that is very, very manipulative. And Sophie really shouldn’t trust Keefe, because almost everything she tells him is manipulated and extorted out of her. She’d tell him a lot less if it weren’t for his toxic traits and extortive empathy. 

“‘Lord Hunkyhair,’ Keefe corrected. ‘What? It’s accurate.’ He tossed his head like he was in a shampoo commercial.” (20) I forgot about this atrocious nickname.

“‘Fintan knew Keefe would be dumb enough to go after them,’ Ruy added, ‘so he had our Technopath make a couple of replicas.’” (89) I mean . . . he isn’t wrong about Keefe’s stupidity.

“Tam and Keefe had been feuding since the moment they’d met—even though they were so similar it was kind of hilarious.” (117) Again, if Shannon wants us to believe that Keefe and Tam have this deep rivalry, rather than Keefe being jealous of Tam and Tam thinking Keefe’s annoying because he gets possessive of Sophie, then she’s going to have to put a lot more effort into it then that.

“‘It’s okay to hate me,’ Keefe said from the doorway.” (138) Oh, boy, here comes the forced consolation scene pity-party. That’s going to take up a whole two chapters, by the way. I don’t know about you, but I really don’t want to watch Keefe wallow in his own self-pity while Sophie strokes his ego for two entire chapters. 

“‘Fintan’s good. His emotions always felt normal when I asked about the caches. A little nervous. A little suspicious. Exactly the way he would’ve felt if they were real.’” Wait, Keefe asked Fintan about the caches??? This is just getting better and better, by which I mean Keefe’s getting stupider and stupider. My guy. Have some subtlety. When asking about something you want, you don’t just outright ask that. Keefe’s even dumber than I thought. Seriously, how did he think he was smarter than the Neverseen?

[cut because character limit]

“‘Don’t beat yourself up about the caches. We’ll figure something out.’” (140) That’s the thing, though. Keefe needs to do some serious thinking about his choices and how they affect the entire thing. He needs to have that development. But Shannon wants to convince the audience that he’s fine the way he is. He doesn’t need to repent and change! He just needs to be entirely devoted to Sophie and everyone will still love him. He faces no consequences for running off with the Neverseen at all, despite the fact that he set them back. A lot. He’s still allowed to be in on all their plans and still trusted. Do you see what I mean? It’s like it never happened. It’s like he never ran off to join the Neverseen. There’s no impact. Everyone still trusts him, everyone still relies on him, nobody’s wary, nobody thinks he’s going to mess something else up, even though he’s proven, time and time again, that he’s reckless and cannot be trusted. Keefe cannot be trusted. But the narrative refuses to acknowledge it. He should be forced to sit on the side while everyone else comes up with a plan that excludes him. That should be when he realizes he can’t be trusted because he thinks he’s smarter than everyone and messes everything up. Keefe’s arc practically wrote itself for Shannon, but she refuses to let her character have growth. Keefe needs to have people, especially Sophie, be mad at him, so that he can realize what he did that was so wrong.

“‘You don’t have to tell me I’m a jerk,’ Keefe mumbled. ‘I already know.’” (147) Does he? Because if he was truly sorry, he would volunteer to sit on the sideline, so he knew he wouldn’t mess anything up again. He would volunteer to face whatever consequences he should’ve had coming for his actions. But he doesn’t. Because he isn’t truly repentant. He’s just throwing a pity party for himself. In the end, he’s just a pity magnet whose only purpose in the story is to lay it on thick so that he can gain more and more pity. There’s really nothing to pity him for. He did the action, so he has to face the consequence. It’s that simple. But he doesn’t. Remember what I said about how Keefe, despite Shannon claiming he doesn’t want pity, really does nothing but wallow in his own self-pity to make the audience feel sorry for him? Well this entire scene is a prime example.

“[ . . . ] every reckless decision he’d made over the last year was all part of his desperate attempt to relieve the shame and fear that were eating him up inside. That was the problem with guilt.” (148) By the way, Keefe’s whole “legacy” backstory is just another excuse for his actions. In the barest sense, nothing Keefe’s mom does or plans for him is on Keefe. He has no control and none of that’s his fault. So the fact that Shannon built his entire story on the fact that he’s guilty over something he didn’t do is so stupid I don’t have the words for it. If he doesn’t have something to be guilty over, how can he be a pity magnet? But if he does have something to be guilty over, he’d actually have to do something to deserve that guilt, right? So Shannon tries to have it both ways. Her precious Keefe can’t do anything actually wrong, or he won’t be so perfectly innocent anymore. So where’s his sob story going to come from? Oh right, he’ll just feel responsible for his mom’s actions. A perfect fix to the conundrum. But really it makes no sense at all. And it gives her every excuse to heap a suffocating amount of pity on him while simultaneously having him insist he hates pity.

“‘Too bad I’m stuck being the designated loser,’ Keefe said under his breath.” (149) Quite the pity party he’s throwing for himself there. Nothing ever got accomplished because someone wallowed in their self-pity. And that’s all Keefe does. 

[cut because character limit]

“‘Do you trust me?’ she asked. ‘Of course I do---that’s not the problem.’” (151) No, he may think he trusts her. But he really doesn’t. If he truly trusted her, he wouldn’t keep thinking he’s smarter than her and making plans without consulting her. He would value her input in his plans if he trusted her. He would stop feeling this incessant need to protect her and trust that she’d be able to handle herself. Because, let’s face it, more often than not, Keefe ends up giving Sophie more grief and worry than anything. She’s always worried about him and he’s even set her progress back several times. But he still thinks he needs to be there for her all the time. Not to mention, he doesn’t trust her decision when she says she doesn't want to share her feelings and thoughts with him, so he forces them out of her. True trust isn’t constantly leaping into that person's business and constantly trying to save them when they don’t need or want you to. True trust is trusting that they know what they want and need, and acting accordingly. 

“‘Umber wouldn’t have been able to find you if I hadn’t given you that pendant. Just like the day the Neverseen broke Silveny’s wing because of the Sencen crest I was wearing.’ ‘And you know what both of those things have in common?’ Sophie asked. ‘You had no idea that the Neverseen were manipulating you.’” (151) You know what I’m going to say. Forced consolation scene. The first statement Keefe says is valid. That mistake was on Keefe. He’s the one who thought he was smarter than everyone and then made such horrible mistakes that Sophie and Fitz will now have to recover for a third of this book. That was entirely on him. And honestly, pity shouldn’t be the automatic reaction. Anger is fine, too. But if Sophie’s angry at Keefe (as she should be), how can the narrative continue to pity him? But Keefe’s second statement is clearly thrown in there to attract pity. Look, it’s poor Keefe again, blaming himself for his mom’s actions again. It’s not pitiable. It’s just plain stupid. That wasn’t on Keefe in the slightest. The narrative then tries to equate both these actions with each other in Sophie’s statement, which is clearly an attempt to absolve Keefe of any blame for what he did when he was with the Neverseen. He underestimated his opponent and in his overconfidence, thought he could outplay them. He took a stupid risk without considering what his team would think and stole the pendant back without a thought in the direction of whether the Neverseen would suspect him. He even says in Lodestar that he didn’t know what he was going to do if the Neverseen figured out what happened (I have the quote up there somewhere). That’s the thing. That entire situation is on him. It’s his mess and his fault. But the Sencen crest isn’t. Shannon, please stop comparing two incomparable situations to make Keefe look good. Also, what does Keefe even want? What is the point of him doing all this wallowing? Does he want Sophie to blame and hate him? No, obviously not. Does he want to be punished and face the consequences of his actions? No, because if he did, he would suggest that. So, in the end, all his wallowing, and dare I say whining, is just that: whining. It leads nowhere, does nothing, results in no ideas for how Keefe wants to prevent something similar from happening again, and is just Shannon trying to make Keefe pitiable. There is no point to any of this. It results in no change, no development, no ideas from Keefe about how he will change, which makes it the perfect recipe for an easily resettable conversation. Because that’s all these forced consolation scenes are. The same exact conversation, which results in no change, so that it can be had over and over and over. 

This scene is so unbearably long, and for what? Unfortunately, I can’t copy down the whole thing, but oh, boy. Shannon really needs to stop these horrible forced consolation scenes that eat up so much time. 

[cut because character limit]

“‘Ugh, I shouldn’t tell you this, since it’ll just make you think I’m even more messed up than you already do—’ [ . . . ] ‘All I know is, weapons and blood don’t bother me the way they bother other people, so . . . yeah. Feel free to think I’m super creepy—” (161) The forced consolation is really being laid on thick. Shannon has switched from Sophie comforting Keefe over his guilt over something he didn’t do (over and over and over, just so Shannon can really annoy the point into us) to Sophie saying Keefe isn’t creepy because . . . weapons and blood don’t bother him. Huh??? Why would someone get freaked out because someone else isn’t bothered by blood??? That doesn’t automatically make them a killer. What kind of leap in logic is this??? But of course, Shannon has to have something to fuel her forced consolation scenes, and she’s burnt out all the Keefe’s-guilt-over-his-mom thing, so she has to switch to something else. Also, Keefe couldn’t be more of a pity magnet. He literally thought that Sophie would hate him because . . . weapons don’t freak him out. While they’re in the middle of a war. Wow. Shannon so badly wants us to pity him, it’s pathetic. Sophie needs to be Keefe’s personal assurance robot over something, so now it’s his nonaversion to blood. That’s the thing. Sophie always has to reassure Keefe of some dumb thing he shouldn’t worry about, and Shannon loves to blow it out of proportion to make it seem like this huge thing when it’s not. That’s why her forced consolation scenes are so forced. Because the consolation happens over the stupidest things. And there’s so many of them, like Shannon’s trying to convince us that we should really think this is something worth spending so much page time on. 

“‘Well, I think it’s safe to say that the Fitzphie slumber party is a total snoozefest,’ Keefe said [ . . . ]” (219) Keefe’s incessant use of ship names and the term “fest” returns with a vengeance. I honestly don’t get how Shannon didn’t see how juvenile his dialogue sounds. He doesn’t sound fifteen. He sounds six.

“‘You’ve had this campus to yourself all night every night, and you haven’t caused even a tiny bit of chaos.’” (223) Is this guy for real??? Serious??? While she’s literally on bed rest? I- I don’t have the words to describe how stupid he is. And if he isn’t being serious, then oh, boy, are his jokes so atrociously bad it concerns me.

“‘I’m really not in the mood.’ ‘I know—that’s what makes it extra fun. Go on.’” (225) Keefe stop salivating at any opportunity to annoy Sophie for his own amusement challenge. Keefe stop being a selfish piece of shit challenge.

“‘I thought if they saw me as Captain Committed, they’d teach me something good.’” (227) Shannon really needs to stop with the atrocity that is her nickname humor. 

“‘I shouldn’t have brought up any of those worries. Edaline warned me that you need to stay calm right now.’” (231) Nothing to say about this right now, but just remember this quote. I’ll touch on it in a little bit. Coloring it green to make it easy. 

“‘Rest. Recover. Take whatever medicine and time you need to get strong again. And trust the rest of us to cover anything that comes up while you’re down.’” (233) If only Keefe had taken his own advice a book ago . . . and someone's going to say "But he learned his lesson, didn't he?" To that, I say I've already covered all the reasons why he really didn't.

“‘I didn’t get swoony,’ Sophie felt the need to point out. ‘Keep telling yourself that, Foster. Keeeeeeeeeep telling yourself that.’” (235) First of all, counting those Es out was misery. At some point in Nightfall, Shannon really starts to jack up the amount of times she does that stretchy-word thing. And secondly, Keefe’s lack of self-awareness is as cringy as ever.

“‘I think Scaley Butt should be near Krakie so it looks like they’re swimming together. And then Bitey could be close to The Stink so it looks like he’s trying to chomp him.’” (251) A perfect example of Keefe’s atrocious mixture of potty humor and nickname humor, in the worst way possible.

[cut because character limit]

“‘Yeah, what time should we arrive to catch the Great Fitzphie Ooze Fest?’” (301) Someone needs to take away Shannon’s ability to type the word “fest”. Also Keefe’s horrible nicknames paired with immature humor strikes again. 

“‘I thought you weren’t supposed to be teasing Fitz,’ Sophie reminded him instead. ‘I’m not, but . . . he makes it so easy.’” (303) So when Keefe doesn’t want to set Sophie’s recovery back, he takes measures to make sure he doesn’t (remember that quote I told you to remember?), but when he has to do the same with Fitz, he doesn’t even seem remorseful when he slips up. He clearly favors Sophie, and remember, Fitz is supposed to be his best friend. He really doesn’t care about Fitz or his recovery at all. But he cares about Sophie’s.

“‘Hear that, Ro?’ he interrupted. ‘She’s giving me her serious voice.’” (304) Another example of Keefe infantilizing Sophie and dumbing her feelings down for the sake of a joke. Awwww, isn’t her serious voice so cute? She only does that when she thinks she has something important to say to us grown-ups! Awwwwwww. 

“‘He really doesn’t know when to quit, does he?’ Ro asked Sophie. ‘I’m pretty sure it’s a disease,’ Fitz told her. ‘Coping mechanism,’ Keefe argued.” (309) Shannon, pointing out Keefe’s flaws doesn’t give him character development. You actually have to like. Develop him. Also, the fact that Keefe had the perfect chance to reflect and change and instead decided to be as resistant to growth as he always is really says something about him.

“‘Why else would you spend so much time helping Miss Foster’s cause?’ ‘Uh . . . you’ve seen how cute she is, right?’” (312) Oh, gosh. Shannon really cranked Keefe’s atrocious humor up to eleven for this book, and since a good chunk of this book is filler, that’s all we have to go on for a good section. And if I thought it was bad when it was sectioned out, it’s even more unbearable now that Shannon is dumping it all on us at once. First of all, Keefe basically flat-out admitted a good chunk of his motive is because he wants to impress Sophie. People will argue and say that he’s just joking, but reading his short story was proof enough that he’s not really kidding. And second of all, Shannon really uses the word “Uh” a lot in this book right before someone makes a joke. It was fine at first, but it becomes so noticeable as the book goes on. It’s like she’s trying to tell us to brace for a joke. 

“I tell Keefe that stuff because it’s been the only way to get him to open up to me, she explained.” (323) Actually, more often than not, she doesn’t want to tell him anything. Usually, he forces it out of her with his empathy or manipulation or his general annoying demeanor. But thank you for twisting the narrative, Shannon. 

“Keefe guessed most of the story on his own, and I couldn’t deny it because Empaths are annoyingly impossible to lie to.” (324) That is not what happened. It’s explicitly said that Keefe “dragged the story out of her through relentless questions” (paraphrase, I have the real quote up there somewhere). He didn’t have to ask that. He could’ve respected Sophie’s boundaries and feelings. But he always has to stick his nose in everything when he thinks it’s his business. Fitz actually has a way better reason to know than Keefe; he just wants to improve their cognate relationship, but Keefe just wants to be nosy.

“She wasn’t sure if they were allowed to tell him—but it was so much easier than arguing.” (336) Keefe has literally annoyed Sophie so much that she doesn’t even think it’s worth the fight to keep a secret. That’s not good. It means that Sophie just succumbs to whatever he wants without a thought. That’s pretty much the highest sign of a toxic relationship.

“‘But you're kinda scraping bottom if you’re using me as the model of good decisions. Especially decisions concerning my parents.’” (337) Once again, Keefe shows that he’s fully aware of how dumb he is, he’s just so overly stubborn that he refuses to change. Shannon acts like this is an innate part of her personality and refuses to acknowledge it as a flaw. 

[cut because character limit]

“It’s always fun when you get feisty.” (355) I’ve said this about a gajillion times, but Keefe’s infantilization of Sophie is so horrific, it’s like he doesn’t care about her at all. He just sees her emotions as amusement for himself. 

“My life isn’t perfect, Fitz argued. Maybe not. But it’s pretty close, dude. I mean, yeah, Alvar’s a creep—but you still have your dad. And your mom. And Biana. And you’re still top of our class. And you’re Foster’s Cognate and . . . even without all of that, you’re still a Vacker. You’re always going to be the golden boy everyone expects greatness from. And I’ll always be the mess.” (360) Wow, Keefe is throwing quite the pity-party there for himself. If he didn’t want pity (which he explicitly says), then why does he keep saying he’s a mess? What are people supposed to say to that, besides You’re not a mess? Does he want them to tell him he’s a mess? This is a real thing people do, by the way, where they say negative things about themselves so that other people will reassure them they’re wrong. Keefe’s a massive hypocrite. If he truly didn’t want any sympathy, he wouldn’t keep saying he’s a mess and keep forcing the subject. Also, Fitz’s life is not perfect. Especially not now. I touched on this briefly before, but Keefe wouldn’t be jealous of Fitz being the top of their class. It makes no sense, when Keefe goes out of his way to cause trouble for himself in the academic department. It might make sense if Keefe tried and studied and still never matched Fitz, but we already know he doesn’t care. So this is another statement that’s just meant to attract pity and sympathy.

“Sophie had no idea what that meant—but it didn’t matter. I’m always going to be your friend. So am I, Fitz added. You sure about that? Keefe asked [ . . . ]” (361) Again, if Keefe really didn’t want pity, he wouldn’t keep going out of his way to say things that invoke pity. He would try to stay as far away from the subject as possible.

“‘Remember that? Such a classic Keephie moment!’” (380) Shannon needs to stop doing this whole self-aware thing. It doesn’t make her look smart to have Keefe talk about the ships in this series like he’s not involved in the story. It’s incredibly cringy.

“Is this that thing adults do where they make you think they’re giving you what you want but really they’re just wasting your time?’” (381) Another thing Shannon does is try to make the kids ““““““relatable”””””” by having them complain about adults all the time. Which is not how teenagers actually are. And once again, Keefe gets it the worst. Also, ungrateful much? Tiergan essentially offered to give him what he wants and he still fights it.

“‘Yeah, well [Sophie wearing Linh’s tunic] still breaks the fan club rules. As penance, I’m getting you a tunic that says, Empaths Give Me All the Feels, and I expect to see you wear it twice as often as Bangs Boy’s.’” (421) This is a joke, but the fact that Keefe makes such a big deal out of the tunic says a lot about his pathetic jealousy of Tam.

“Nah, he likes you better than me. Everyone does.’ ‘No they don’t.’ ‘Oh really? Tell me this: Have you heard from the Fitzster since he went home for the happy family reunion?’” (519) Another example of Keefe wallowing in self-pity. This book easily gets it the worst. It feels like everytime Keefe’s on-page, Shannon uses it to invoke more and more pity for him. If he doesn’t want people to pity him, then why does he keep saying things that invoke pity??? He doesn’t need to. Again, what exactly does he want Sophie to say? “Yes, Keefe, everyone hates you”? He is such a pity magnet and I get so tired of his constant whining because Shannon just does it so much. Then Keefe has the audacity to turn around and say shit like “I don’t want your pity”. Like, Keefe. My guy. You kinda sorta aren’t really giving them a choice with the things you say. 

[cut because character limit]

“‘Everything okay? Need me to leap over there? I will—I don’t care if Ro wins the bet.’” (521) First of all, if Sophie was not okay, what is Keefe going to do to make her feel better? Talk to her? He’s already doing that right now. Maybe read her emotions and extort a secret out of her? Also why does he automatically assume that Sophie needs him when she’s feeling down? That’s just. Such a bold assumption to make. Also, the fact that he’s so obsessed with Sophie to the point of throwing his bet under the bus just because she . . . looked tired? Is not good. That’s not a good thing. It’s a textbook sign of obsession. And Keefe’s obsession with and prioritization of Sophie is incredibly toxic. Again, if Shannon had made that out to be a negative quality on his part, it would be fine. But instead, she makes it seem like a desirable trait. He’s probably not willing to do that for anyone else, too. Like I’m sure he wouldn’t be willing to do that for Fitz, since he’s already admitted that he hasn’t talked to Fitz since he left the Healing Center. That’s on Fitz, too, sure, but a relationship goes two ways. So it’s also on Keefe.

“‘Sounds like I need to head over there after Daddy’s little hugfest tomorrow.’” (522) I just ranted about his obsession with Sophie, but this line is mostly here because it’s another example of Shannon’s love for the term “fest”.

“‘I can tell there’s something you're not telling me right now—but I’m not going to force you to talk about it. If you say you’re good, I’ll trust you.’” (522) Where did this sudden change come from? I know I’ve complained about this incessantly for this entire rant, but this seriously came out of nowhere. There was no development that led to this. It’s also a complete throwaway line, like blink-and-you-miss-it kind of thing. It’s a good thing, but it feels like Shannon randomly realized how creepy Keefe has been this entire time and shoehorned this in so it’d make him feel less creepy. Well, telling isn’t showing, Shannon, and it doesn’t change the fact that Keefe does this. A lot. 

“‘[ . . . ] if you and Fitz are visiting troll-baby hives without me, I am definitely losing at life, you know?’” (671) Someone needs to tell this guy that he doesn’t have to be a part of everything that happens in Sophie’s life. 

“‘So . . . you don’t hate me?’ Sophie rolled her eyes. ‘Ugh, how many times do I have to tell you—I’m never going to hate you!’ His smile looked tired. ‘Well. I guess that’s good enough. For now.’” (684) Again, Shannon really tries hard to make us pity Keefe. Also, that last part. Sophie not hating Keefe being “good enough” “for now” obviously implies that Keefe expects something more from her in the future. Shannon almost certainly wrote this with Sokeefe implications in mind, which is such a shitty thing for Keefe to say. He’s basically saying “You being my friend is fine for now, but one day I expect something more”. It’s honestly incredibly shitty. But also really subtle. So it can be skipped over or accidentally ignored.

“‘Thank you for thinking about me,’ he whispered. ‘No one does that.’ ‘Lots of people care about you, Keefe,’ Sophie gently corrected. He sighed. ‘I guess, but . . . ’” (725) The end of that sentence should be “those people who care about me aren’t you, and yours is the only opinion I care about because I pedestalize you heavily”. Again, if Keefe really didn’t want pity, he wouldn’t keep bringing things like this up. Plenty of people care about Keefe. He just pushes them all away except Sophie and then turns around and basically claims Sophie’s the only one thinking of him. Again, he prioritizes Sophie and then gets all woe is me, nobody cares about me except Sophie when he is the one pushing them all away.

[cut because character limit]

There isn’t really a quote to go with this, but Keefe only uses his emotional-calming breezes for Sophie, when it’s been proven they can work on anybody. He doesn't use them to help Fitz, although Fitz definitely could’ve used a couple throughout the climax of this book. He doesn’t use them to help Linh, either, when Linh learns about Tam. It's another way he pedestalizes Sophie to an unhealthy extent, and it’s not a good thing. 

Flashback Short Story: Keefe

“‘Sophie’s not some prize that Fitz and I get to fight over. She’s a person. And she has her own feelings—and no one knows those feelings better than I do!’” Again, it feels like Shannon randomly realized she had Keefe act like a jealous, possessive, manipulative asshole for the past book and wanted to turn that around so she added this in. But saying it doesn’t make it true. The mountain of evidence I’ve provided should make that clear enough. Again, it’s part of Shannon’s not-so-subtle pedestalization of Keefe. And the part where he says “no one knows those feelings better than I do” . . . oh, the nerve. The only reason he knows why she’s feeling what she’s feeling half the time is because he uses his empathy to extort her secrets out of her. It’s usually not because she wants to tell him or trusts him with whatever she’s feeling. 

Legacy

“‘Tell me why you have that cute little crease between your eyebrows.’” (70) You already know what I’m going to say. Keefe finding Sophie’s worry cute is textbook infantilization. But also, if he finds her worry and anger so adorable, what’s he gonna do when the Neverseen are defeated and Sophie doesn’t have as many things worrying her?

“‘You already know my mom gave me a letter to deliver to a house in London with a green door,’ he reminded Sophie as she made her way over. ‘And you said Fintan told you she sent me there to recruit somebody.’” (75) Yet another example of Shannon using Keefe’s dialogue as narration for things the audience already knows. I’m sure you’ve all heard of the “As you know” cardinal writing sin, but this is even worse than that because writers usually use it to convey something the audience doesn’t know. But Shannon literally used this to convey something the audience is already aware of. What the heck??? Shannon, stop treating your audience like we’re stupid. We read the previous book. We know what’s happening.

By the way, Sophie has some of the issues I’ve talked about here, too. Within a few pages alone in this chapter, she’s already gotten butthurt that Keefe left her out of one of his personal projects and tries to force her way into it (being nosy about things that aren’t strictly her business) and grabs one of his notebooks without his permission while he looks visibly uncomfortable and flips through it (invading his personal privacy). So it’s not just Keefe that has the problems I’ve listed here. But this list is strictly about Keefe, as I’ve said, so I won’t talk about anyone else, so in case you’re thinking “Well, [other character] did that too, and you never talked about it”, it’s because this list is solely reasons I don’t like Keefe. 

“‘I’m not sitting any of this out! And if you try to lock me up, it’s on.’” (88) Keefe once again demonstrates a startling lack of growth. He acts like a petulant child whose parents won’t let them go outside while it’s raining or something. He just got information that the Neverseen, specifically Tam, have been ordered to kill him. And knowing this, he insists on not “sitting any of this out”, even though he knows that he’s been ordered to be killed. He once again doesn’t care about how this might impact Sophie’s mental health, and his stupidity is back with full force. When you’re told that someone wants you, specifically you, dead, you listen. He’s so headstrong and arrogant that he thinks he can just, what, not be killed by pure determination? The Neverseen have already proven he can’t just do that. If Keefe could just make a single smart decision in his life or listen to a single good piece of advice, he might not be so annoying and frustrating as a character all the time.

“‘If something goes down in Loamnore like Forkle’s predicting, I will be there with you guys. Just like I’ll be there for anything else that happens—so let’s not make this into a fight, okay?’” (90) Once again, Keefe proves that he cannot take good advice. He throws his loved ones’ mental health under the bus because he’s too selfish not to sit one battle out for their sake. He still hasn’t faced a single consequence for the whole running-off-to-join-the-Neverseen thing, which he admitted in the last book was his biggest mistake. Actions like that should have consequences. And when you’ve been preemptively warned that you might be killed and still choose to go into the battle . . . wow. That’s just plain stupidity. And again, the fact that Keefe is willing to forsake Sophie’s opinion on the matter is ridiculously arrogant and taking-over-ish.

[cut because character limit]

“‘You’ll say, “Wow, that’s the hottest Wanderling I’ve ever seen! Who knew a tree could have such awesome hair?” And then you’ll all sit under my stunning leaves and write poems about my general amazingness.’” (91) Again, Keefe doesn’t know when to be serious. You can’t just joke your way through everything. Some things need to be treated with an appropriate amount of gravity. And Keefe doesn't know when to shut up with the jokes. It’s not a good quality. It makes him tone-deaf and insensitive. 

“‘I can joke about anything!’” (91) Like I just said, this isn’t a flex. It’s not a good thing. It’s very much a bad quality to have. People don’t need jokes all the time. They need them during appropriate times. 

“‘We’re always complaining that we don’t have any good leads. But I’m the lead. And I can’t help you guys if I’m hiding.’” (93) Keefe’s even stupider than I thought, which is really saying something. If Keefe’s the lead, then by definition, he doesn’t have to go anywhere to be useful. His argument is literally “I’m a lead to possibly useful information so you should let me go places”. Serious??? Real??? Bro. Keefe can be a lead sitting at home just fine. You don’t have to go anywhere to draw in a notebook. The fact that this is his argument and the fact that it’s not countered is just plain ridiculous. And stupid. Did I mention stupid? Because this argument is so stupid.

“‘Master elixir maker, ultimate gadget manipulator, and he scored a Foster kiss before Fitzy.’” (94) Keefe literally just casually spilled Sophie’s secret, emphasis on secret, to Sandor and Ro when he knew Sophie didn’t want him to. That’s just. And it’s treated so casually by the narrative. Sophie gets over it in half a second, and she just tells Keefe to stop distracting her. That’s it. This is a huge violation of trust and privacy and Keefe just every-so-casually violated it to try to distract Sophie for half a second. That’s just. It’s so. That is revolting behavior. It’s toxic, it’s selfish, it’s embarrassing (for Sophie), and Keefe, once again, faces no consequences for his actions. The line is a complete throwaway one, and Shannon’s attempt to make this a seemingly normal thing to do instead of the disgusting thing it really was is pathetic. I’d also like to mention that just a book ago, Sophie wouldn’t even tell Fitz, her cognate, who only wanted this information for the sake of their bond, the full story, because Dex had not consented to having the secret spilled. And now Keefe just spills it and you’re telling me Sophie’s just chill with that???

“‘See, but “smart” isn’t my brand. I’m more “reckless dream guy without a care”! It’s part of my whole “bad boy” image.’” (95) Did. Did Keefe just describe himself using blatant stereotypes? Wow. I- That’s just. Wow. Shannon really doesn’t have a single iota of shame. Also, her trying to make Keefe’s recklessness seem like a personality quirk instead of a very real flaw that could get someone else or himself killed is very troubling. Shannon. Stop treating Keefe’s recklessness like a good thing and stop letting him do reckless things without a hint of consequence. I promise nothing bad will happen to you if Keefe is allowed to grow and develop like a good character.

[cut because character limit]

“‘Yup! But I can’t stop her, so I might as well let her take you down with me.’” (97) This is Keefe talking about Ro using him as a lie detector to extort Sophie’s secret out of her, by the way. Which Keefe agrees to do. Which he wouldn’t do if he really was a good friend. Just like Sophie wouldn’t have to make this deal with Ro if Keefe would just listen to good advice for once and do the smart thing. But he doesn’t care about Sophie’s mental health, and he doesn't care about Sophie’s feelings, because or else he would respect them by agreeing to stay out of the Neverseen’s way and not using his empathy to extort secrets Sophie clearly doesn't want to share out of her. And Ro. Honestly, she’s even worse than Keefe, partly because of her personality, but mostly because of the wasted potential. Keefe was always going to be the “bad boy angsty prankster with daddy issues that causes trouble” trope that we've seen a million times. But Ro could’ve been so much more. She’s the ogre princess, and the most Shannon could do with her is make her a Sokeefe fangirl.

“‘He just doesn’t take no for an answer—you know how Keefe is.’” (147) Take that quote out of context, Shannon. I dare you. I wish Shannon would stop treating Keefe’s toxicity as a quirky little trait. The “you know how he is” implies that he’s like that because Keefe’s just Keefe, not because he forces his way into everything even when he shouldn’t. No means no. That is the number one rule of a healthy relationship. We teach this shit in school to teenagers so they don’t end up in abusive relationships, come on, Shannon. Even some random kid with a C- in health class knows more about toxic relationships than you do.

“‘I just love how it took you less than a day after your little chat with Bangs Boy to cut me out of everything.’” (215) Why are we looping back to this conversation??? We already spent almost a hundred pages of the book on it, and no, that is not an exaggeration. You can check. But of course, Keefe can’t not whine. He can’t not be annoying. He can’t not be stupid and nosy and unconcerned for his own safety and take everything Sophie does without him personally.

“‘Not saying she wouldn’t try. But I bet you anything Keefe will find a loophole.’” (270) I really wish people would stop acting like Keefe’s this super smart, all-powerful entity that can get out of any situation just because he’s Keefe. More often than not, Keefe is really stupid. He’s certainly not smart enough to figure out a way to escape an ogre dungeon. People need to stop acting like Keefe could get out of anything. It’s just another way Shannon tries to convince us he’s this smart guy, which is another way of propping up his arrogance.

“‘Yeah, Dex told me all about how not exhausting that was last night, when he checked in to tell me how things went for you two in London, while someone was off doing something with Mr. Forkle that was clearly both frustrating and intense—as most things with Forkle tend to be.’” (351) Sophie immediately goes to Keefe, and he subtly blames Sophie for not telling him what happened because of what she was doing with Forkle, which he even admits was frustrating and intense. That is such an asshole move, I can’t even. He literally blames her for not checking in with him because she had an emotionally exhausting day. Wow. It’s like he expects Sophie to be as obsessed with him as he is with her. 

[cut because character limit]

“‘But do you really think you’re going to be able to leave here without telling me what happened with the Forklenator? If you do, you’re going to be sorely, sorely disappointed—and covered in biscuit crumbs.’” (351) Again, Keefe as good as admits that he’d force Sophie to spill if she didn’t tell him what happened with Mr. Forkle. His extortive ways need to stop being glorified and start being treated like the horrific manipulation it is. 

“‘Soooooooo, what you’re saying is, you think I’m the king of bad decisions,’ Keefe said, laughing when Sophie fumbled for an apology. ‘Relax—I know what you meant. I’m just giving you a hard time. And you have a point. I’m not necessarily great at doing what I’m supposed to do and giving people what they want. And I’m not usually sorry about it either.’” (352) Those goshdarned Os. Shannon. Please stop doing that. It’s so annoying. And why is Sophie trying to apologize? It’s clearly Shannon’s way of making Keefe seem somewhat right. But the truth is, Keefe needs to have these hard truths shoved in his face. He needs someone to tell him unapologetically that he makes horrible decisions and he needs to reflect on that and change. And lastly. That third sentence. Keefe literally sounds . . . proud. Of the fact that he’s never sorry. He’s never sorry about his horrible decisions and he’s fine with that. His arrogance extends so much so that he knows he’s made bad decisions and knows that he should apologize, but doesn’t. And then he brushes that off so casually, like Haha, I don’t apologize for my mistakes. Aren’t I so quirky? People who are genuinely trying to be better usually aren’t like that. Keefe's toxicity and refusal to change even when he knows he should is so frustrating. Like he’s completely resistant to change and Shannon thinks that’s cool and badass. It’s not. It’s cringy and try-hard and most importantly, annoying.

“Keefe snatched Fitz’s wrist. ‘I knew it!’ ‘Knew what?’ Fitz shouted, trying to wrench his arm away. Keefe tightened his grip. ‘Shhhhh, let the Empath work.’” (367) Oh, boy. Keefe really is such a manipulative asshole. He grabs Fitz’s hand to read his emotions because he wants to know why Fitz is offering to search his dad’s memories. He really can’t respect his supposed best friend’s privacy, can he? He can’t control himself; when he wants to know something he needs to have it right away. He breaches people’s trust and boundaries. Fitz tries to “wrench his arm away”, meaning that he’s uncomfortable and clearly doesn’t want this. But Keefe instead tightens his grip and forcibly extricates what he wants out of Fitz, even having the audacity to say “let the Empath work”. What an asshole. Honestly. He’s such a piece of shit. He’s a terrible person and the fact that Shannon is romanticizing this behavior is revolting.

“Keefe smirked. ‘I think the moral of this conversation is, females are cruel.’” (369) I know I said I was ready to forgive Keefe’s sexist comments in the first and second books because they likely weren’t intentional in the way they came off (and are more of Shannon’s problem than Keefe’s really, but all of Keefe’s problems are inevitably Shannon’s, so) and they’d been removed from the graphic novel, so it was safe to say that Shannon didn’t want them there on second thought. But this book? It was released in 2019, seven years later. So yes, I’m counting this. And I said this once or twice already, but authors need to stop having male love interests be so casually sexist as a way of making them ““““““cooler””””””. Especially in a world where sexism isn’t supposed to even exist, oh my goodness. 

[cut because character limit]

“But she couldn’t leave without making sure Keefe was okay. He assured her he would be—and the third time he said it, he almost sounded convincing.” (371) That’s right. Sophie checks on Keefe not once, not twice, but three times to make sure he’s okay. Because . . . his dad’s going to have his memories searched by Fitz. Something that doesn’t even really involve him. But Sophie didn’t show even close to the same level of concern for Fitz, even though he’s clearly going through something with Alvar and Keefe explicitly says he’s feeling a mixture of embarrassment and anger. She doesn’t try to talk to him about it, doesn’t try to make sure he’ll be okay. Nothing. But Keefe has to be pampered and pitied. Of course. It shows another clear prioritization in the narrative of Keefe.

There’s not really a single quote I can pull to show this from Legacy (although there is actually a quote from Flashback page 48 that I have up there somewhere), but Sophie claims she understands all of Keefe’s actions because he’s doing it because of guilt with what happened with his mom. Every reckless decision he’s made was in an attempt to cope with that, right? But now, Fitz is going through the same thing. And not for a single second does Sophie try to apply the same understanding to Fitz about what it must be like to feel guilt and shame over a traitorous family member. Instead, all that spare pity goes to Keefe. The double standards, honestly.

“‘And don’t think I’m going to forget about the E.L. Fudges you owe me,’” (371) It’s a small thing, but Keefe never actually asks Sophie to get him the cookies. He just demands it from her, and now she apparently “owe[s]” them to him. 

“‘I mean, I feel like if there’s one thing Fitzy and I both excel at, it’s making you angry.’” (542) You should never excel at making someone you care about angry. That’s not a good thing. (Yes, this applies to Fitz as well, but at least he always apologizes and makes amends. Keefe, not so much.)

“‘Okay, but just because you guys are smart enough to think of that doesn’t mean the Neverseen are,’ Keefe argued. ‘And even if you’re right, isn’t it worth it to double-check?’” (558) Is he really this stupid. Please tell me this isn’t real. Keefe. This is the Neverseen. Of course they’re smart enough to think of that! They’re always a million steps ahead and for the last seven books, we know that underestimating them leads to terrible things. Keefe’s stupidity is really just so. Ugh. And no. It’s not “worth it” to “double-check” a place where they know the Neverseen frequently go. All Keefe ever wants to do is run straight into danger without a plan and all Sophie (and the narrative) ever does is let him without any consequences. 

“‘Yeah, well, then you proved my mom’s a murderer, so excuse me for freaking out a little,’ Keefe snapped, tearing a hand through his hair.” (559) Freaking out would be understandable. And he is. But Keefe wants to go straight to London to a place where the Neverseen are known to go without a plan just because . . . he thinks it will trigger a memory. No guarantee, he just thinks it will. This guy is so stupid, and I’m so tired of the way everyone in the story (mostly Sophie) just bends to his will. Because it’s Keefe. 

“‘I don’t care about safe or smart right now,’ Keefe added quietly. ‘I care about finding the truth. Just let me walk those streets. That’s all I’m asking.’” (559) No, “all [he’s] asking” is to go to a place where they know the Neverseen go. He also literally admitted that he doesn’t care about safety or being smart. Why the heck does anyone take this guy seriously? He should be put in his place right now, not encouraged. But that’s what the narrative does. Instead of punishing him for his reckless behavior, the narrative instead glorifies it. Not to mention, he’s not supposed to go anywhere the Neverseen could be right now. Because they think they’re trying to kill him. 

[cut because character limit]

“Mostly, though, she’d seen Keefe like this before—dangling by such a very, very thin thread. There was too high of a risk that it would snap and he’d run off without her.” (560) And when Keefe needs something, everyone needs to bend over backwards to accommodate him. He’s such a spoiled brat and it’s so tiring to watch the narrative justify his actions over and over again. He gets special treatment. As soon as he needs something, even if it goes against every single logical decision that could possibly be made, Sophie will make sure he gets it. Or at least Shannon will. He should not be encouraged, he should be punished for this. 

“‘I know I’ve made huge mistakes in the past, but I’m trying to learn from them—and the last thing I ever want to do is let you down. Okay?’” (568) He says, while going on an excursion to a place where the Neverseen regularly go after blatantly admitting he doesn’t care about safety or being smart. He just wants to get his way. That’s his problem. He’s so emotional, and not at all rational. He can’t see two steps in front of him because all he cares about is himself and what he thinks he can find, and he’s willing to sideline smarter ideas because he still thinks he’s smarter than everyone. So no, he has not learned a single thing. It’s laughable that he thinks he has. And we also get more pedestalization of Sophie, with him saying he never wants to let her down. What about letting Fitz, his best friend, down? What about the rest of their team? What about Mr. Forkle? What about Alden and Della, who he thought of as his own parents? Goodness.

“[ . . . ] she was planning to use midnight as the ‘we need to get home and face the consequences of our actions’ handy cutoff [ . . . ]” (573) It’s worth it to say that Sophie doesn’t want to go to London. She never did. She only goes because Keefe goes, and she knows that he will do something dumb if she is not there to babysit him. She knows it’s a bad choice, but she (rightfully) doesn’t trust Keefe, so she takes the responsibility to make sure they get home safe on herself because she’s knows Keefe will not prioritize that. The fact that she goes is again, another clear show of her lack of faith in Keefe, because all he’s done is do reckless stupid things. To say Sophie trusts Keefe is blatantly false, because if she did, she would not have given into him so easily even though she herself thinks this is a bad idea and she would have trusted that he wouldn’t try to run off himself.

“‘Thanks for the warning, by the way,’ he told Tam. ‘As you can see, it worked super well.’” (579) Keefe is just so. I don’t even have the words. Not only does he not listen to Tam after being warned about a possible attempt on his life, but he literally flaunts his disobedience and stubbornness in Tam’s face. He’s so arrogant, he literally cares about one-upping Tam over the possible attempt on his life. 

[cut because character limit]

“‘We had her,’ Keefe said again. ‘And Tam would’ve been free if he’d just come with us.’ [ . . . ] Just like she stopped herself from reminding Keefe that when he’d been with the Neverseen, there’d been a moment when he’d chosen to help Alvar escape instead of fleeing with her and her friends. They’d have that conversation later. Once Keefe had calmed down. And once she’d had more time to process what had happened—because even if Tam did have a good reason for what he’d done, it could still end up being the kind of mistake they’d all pay the price for.” (587) Except they never do “have that conversation later”. Shannon loves to drop the ball on important conversations that should take place between Sophie and Keefe in exchange for her forced consolation scenes. Then she says that even if Tam’s “betrayal” had a good reason, they’d still all pay the price. Which she never thinks about when Keefe did a similar thing in Lodestar. She never allows herself to think that Keefe may be in the wrong after Keefe escapes with Alvar and the crystal. Even though Keefe did that of his own free will and Tam was forced. Just. The double standards when it comes to anyone that’s not Keefe. It’s just another example of how the narrative favors Keefe. 

“‘This . . . is the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me—by a lot.’” (598) Again, with the pity-partying. I don’t understand why Shannon insists on making Keefe wallow in all this self-pity. He takes any opportunity to remind Sophie of just how terrible his life is, even when it’s not relevant, and then we’re supposed to believe he doesn’t want pity? That’s laughable. Why would he keep saying these things if he didn’t want pity or sympathy? That’s not how that works. Also, this statement is objectively untrue. Alden and Della cared for him as much as they could. All the adults offered their places when he didn’t know where to go. But, once again, Keefe only cares about what Sophie does for him. He takes everything else for granted. It makes him come off as whiny. I think offering your place to stay is a much better favor than getting someone cookies, but okay. Why must he be such a pity magnet?

“‘I mean . . . the next time I see Bangs Boy, I’m going to kick him somewhere extra sensitive.’” (598) For what? For helping Gisela escape? Like Keefe did with Alvar when he was with the Neverseen? Oh, what a hypocrite. By that logic, someone should kick Keefe, since he did much worse things. Here’s a list: compromising Alluveterre, giving up his blood, freeing Alvar (which probably wouldn’t have mattered, given the whole Lumenaria thing, but Keefe didn’t know that at the time), being wrong several times about the Neverseen going after Grady and Edaline, giving up the cache and bringing back fakes, and giving Sophie the tracker that led the Neverseen to her and Fitz. Where’s his punishment for all that? Why is everybody so ready to forgive him? Of course, Sophie doesn’t call Keefe out for any of that despite saying she would not even fifteen pages ago (the quote from two bullet points ago). 

“‘If you have other things to do—’ Keefe tried to tell her. But Sophie shook her head, channeling Sandor when she told him, ‘I go where you go.’” (625) Sophie then sidelines her duties for Keefe’s incredibly stupid mission to find two black bottles from literal years ago. When I say the narrative favors Keefe. This is what I mean. Sophie puts Keefe above her team. She cares more about his ill-fated search for the bottles than she does about her own job. Shannon. Stop acting like everything Sophie does when she blatantly puts Keefe above everything is justified. 

[cut because character limit]

“‘Uh-uh, Foster. You’re not making me sit all this out.’” (643) Keefe is really so dumb that even now when he has all the information, he still wants to go running straight into danger. And I think this is a good time to talk about one other thing. You can count on two things when it comes to Keefe. One: He’ll always throw a pity party for himself and mope around and whine and cry and be all It’s all my fault, woe is me, and then immediately follow that up with a “I don’t want your pity”, as if that lessens his pity-partying, and two: He’ll always want to be in on the action because he thinks he’s smarter than everyone else, although he’s usually the stupidest person in the room. However, these two things are directly contradictory. If Keefe really thought everything was all his fault, he would volunteer to sit missions out. He would say that he’s a liability and that he’s trying to work on himself and that he wants to make sure he won’t fuck anything else up, so he’d want to sit out things like this to ensure he didn’t mess everything up. That’s how I know he doesn’t actually care about anyone but himself and his wishes, and that he’s just trying to make everyone feel bad for him when he brings up how everything is his fault. If he really did want to change and improve, he’d do some self-reflection, realize he’s always the problem, and tell everyone that he’s going to not go into the field so he doesn't mess everything up like he always does. Yet, he’s the opposite. He always wants to go straight into the action without a thought or plan. When he throws his pity-parties, he never explains to Sophie how he’s going to stop himself from messing everything up again. He just says “I’ll do better, I’m trying to be better”, and then he just leaves it at that. If he truly felt that everything was his fault, he would not always think he’s smarter than everyone and override everyone’s plans with his own. Bottom line is: Keefe’s a massive hypocrite. Every single thing he does or says is in stark contrast to something else he says or does. And the narrative just lets him get away with it, every time. He is so frustrating. 

“‘You won’t be missing out on anything, except watching me fail epically at being Team Valiant’s leader and Fitz’s girlfriend,’ ‘You’re not failing at either of those things,’ Keefe assured her quietly.” (644) Oh, she definitely is. And Keefe is a major part of that, too, because Sophie favors him over everyone, including Fitz and her team. But that’s not his fault, it’s the narrative’s. What is his fault is telling Sophie that she’s not bad at these things. Good friends know when to call out their friends on their bad behavior. They don’t instead tell their friends to stick their head in the sand and ignore it. They don’t pedestalize their friends to such an extent that they are incapable of believing they could ever be in the wrong. This is an extreme example, but if your friend was an alcoholic, would you tell them that everything’s fine and that they aren’t failing miserably at life because they’re drunk before ten in the morning everyday? No, because good friends know when to call their friends out. They don’t encourage it or sugarcoat it. If Keefe would stop pedestalizing Sophie, he would tell her that yes, this is all her fault, actually, and he would assure her that she can still fix her mistakes and might even give her pointers on how to do that. But Sophie is failing at these things. It does nobody any good to pretend she’s not. Navigating this miserable minefield of a forced consolation scene and getting to this quote actually made me put down the book and laugh. Because seriously. How is this real? How?

“And Sophie started to shake her head, but he reached up, gently grabbing her chin.” (644) Another example of Keefe creepily touching Sophie without her permission. It’s not okay, even if they’re close.

[cut because character limit]

“Sophie closed her eyes, taking a second to remind herself that Fitz had every right to be upset. But for some reason that felt hard to believe at the moment.” (675) There’s no real quote that goes with what I’m about to say, so this’ll have to do. This has more to do with the way Keefe is written rather than the character himself. When Keefe has a reason to go batshit, Sophie’s there with him, usually in an atrociously written forced consolation scene, comforting him and telling him it’s not his fault. When she’s not, the narrative at least justifies his actions a considerable amount. Most other characters don’t get that same treatment. For example, Fitz. Fitz told Sophie and Keefe both (well, actually, it was forced out of him by Keefe, but details, am I right?) that he was searching for Alvar. It’s that same mix of guilt and frustration and anger and embarrassment (the last two are canonically confirmed, page 367, I have the quote up there somewhere) that causes him to embark on this quest. Sound familiar? That’s exactly what Keefe feels with regards to his mom, and his feelings manifest as reckless decisions. They make him stupid. They make him overly emotional. They make him dangerous. And most notably, they make everyone fall over themselves trying to feel sorry for him. Of course, Keefe does deserve some sympathy, but the amount that the narrative showers on him is completely over-the-top. Where is that treatment for Fitz? He embarks on a mission to find Alvar to relieve himself of those same feelings, which isn’t viewed with nearly as much sympathy as Keefe’s reckless decisions to do the same with his mother are viewed with. Then when Keefe and Sophie take over his project and completely screw him over, then literally let Alvar go which is exactly what Fitz has been trying to avoid which they are fully aware of without even getting Fitz’s permission, the narrative makes Fitz out to be the bad person. He’s just trying to do the same thing Keefe is, in a less reckless, dangerous, stupid, and emotional manner, may I add, and he’s instantly villainized for it. How much do you want to bet that if this exact thing had happened except it was with Gisela and Keefe, the narrative would have tripped over itself to justify Keefe’s (rightful) anger? Oh wait . . . it already did. With Tam in London. I almost lost sight of that moment among the mashpot of similar moments that are all designed to heap as much sympathy as possible onto Keefe. That’s what I’m saying. Most people don’t care as much about Fitz’s feelings as they do Keefe’s, not because his feelings aren’t valid, but because the narrative drains any excess sympathy you might feel for him and dumps it all onto Keefe. It’s nothing but biased writing. 

“‘I mean, how hard is it to shape a threat into a clever couplet or two?’” (694) Shannon needs to stop making the same joke about rhyming notes. Also, Keefe once again demonstrates a lack of seriousness during a crisis.

“[ . . . ] ‘you don’t have to worry. I’m not going to let my mom hurt anyone.’” (694) As if he can control who his mom hurts. You would think he would’ve learned that by now, but it’s Keefe. I am not even close to being surprised. Also, another example of a forced consolation scene with no point! Yay!

[cut because character limit]

“‘Did I not mention?’ Keefe called from somewhere in the shadows. ‘I brought friends.’” (729) Exactly. So he didn’t have to come. He claims he came to help out with an exit strategy using Linh’s dwarven bodyguards, right? So really only Linh was necessary here. Keefe didn’t have to come at all. His excuse was pathetic. He really can’t stay out of the crew’s way, even when everyone, including Keefe himself, agrees that it’s the best plan. But he can’t help but hijack their shared plan for his own. Sound familiar? That’s right, it’s what he did in Nightfall and so many other books and claimed to be learning from. But this right here is proof that he didn’t learn anything. The crew’s entire plan hinged on the fact that Keefe wasn’t going to be in Loamnore. That was the whole point. So by coming, Keefe didn’t just trip up a few small details, he literally ruined their entire plan. He didn’t have to come, he came because he wanted to. Because, once again, he really thinks he’s smarter than everyone. His arrogance never fails to astound me. 

“And she wondered how much it had cost Tam to give her that warning about Keefe. How desperate he’d been to avoid the exact situation they were now in.” (740) And Keefe knew that. He knew exactly what it would mean for him to come to Loamnore after explicitly and clearly being told not to. He’s literally that ungrateful of all the warning attempts, all the ways Tam risked his life to deliver them, and completely takes Tam for granted. He’s a horrible excuse for a person, honestly. 

“‘I know,’ Keefe told him. ‘And I tried to listen.’” (744) What does that even mean??? Excuses, excuses, excuses. He could’ve listened if his head wasn’t so far up his own ass. Once again, the “reason” that Keefe came to Loamnore was because he realized they didn’t have an exit strategy, right? But the exit strategy didn’t need him. It needed Linh’s bodyguards. He was completely and utterly unnecessary.

“Keefe slept through the next day—and Sophie chose to stay in the Healing Center with him.” (774) Which she never does for anybody else. Not Fitz in Neverseen, not Biana in Nightfall. As a matter of fact, she never even checks in with Biana on-page to see how she’s doing after the Nightfall incident. More examples of Sophie and the narrative favoring Keefe to such an extent it’s ridiculous. And of course, Sophie will neglect several things and people because of this. And it’s even worse because Keefe brought this all upon himself, while Biana and Fitz didn’t.

“Victory? Didn’t they care about what happened to Keefe?” (776) The narrative is so caught up in what happened to Keefe that it’s completely biased. What happened in Loamnore was a victory. Everyone survived and Enki was made to pay for what he did. That is literally a victory. But as soon as something bad happens to Keefe, that’s enough to make it so that it’s not??? It’s another example of biased writing. 

“He hadn’t woken up the next day either—the third day—even after Sophie decided to transmit the plea over and over.” (778) Sophie literally stays in the Healing Center for three days to look after Keefe, who’s not even awake for her to talk to or cheer up or anything. So she’s effectively wasting time, but of course the narrative doesn’t see it that way. How else will Keefe get his special treatment? How else will Sophie neglecting everyone for Keefe be justified? It’s honestly such an insult to both Sophie and Keefe as characters. Keefe is favored far too much by the story and it’s very obvious that Sophie would do several things for him that she wouldn’t for anyone else (and vice versa), like stay in the Healing Center with him while he’s unconscious for three days just wasting time. 

Unlocked Part One (Sorry, I only finished everything up until the novella. Part Two coming soon, I guess?):

First of all, I have to say that Keefe’s editing of his file is just ridiculously immature, even for a sixteen(?)-year-old. It’s very obvious that Shannon did this because people like Keefe so much and because she’s trying to make Keefe seem “cooler” and more of a bad boy. Personally, I find the attempt hilariously pathetic, but it probably landed with most people, so. And his edits are so boring and unwitty, too. Typical Keefe.

“SPYBALL APPROVAL: None [BUT I HAVE FRIENDS WITH CONNECTIONS, THAT’S ALL I’M SAYING. . . .]” (92) Why would you. Say that. In an official file. And purposefully cast suspicion on people around you. Why.

“SIGNIFICANT CONNECTIONS: [ . . . ] [SWORN PROTECTOR OF THE MYSTERIOUS MISS F]” (93) I would say this is probably a joke, but given Keefe’s attitude throughout the series, It’s very clear that it’s not. Why would you embarrass yourself like that in an official government file???

“[[ . . . ] SHE THINKS SHE’S WAY SMARTER THAN SHE IS. [ . . . ]]” (93) Oh, I think she’s pretty smart. Gisela’s shown time and time again that she’s capable of outwitting and manipulating people into doing what she wants. Meanwhile, here’s Keefe, a stupid teenager, who, by the way, as of this point hasn’t gotten the better of her even once. So I’m not really sure how much we should be believing this guy.

“[[ . . . ] ‘HE KNOWS FOSTER BETTER THAN YOU DO! BETTER THAN SHE EVEN KNOWS HERSELF’?]” (94) I- I don’t even have the words. This is the cringiest thing I’ve read today. Possibly the cringiest thing I’ve read this year. Why is he saying this weird shit in an official government file??? Is Shannon really that desperate to show us that Keefe has a crush on Sophie??? Also, nobody knows anyone better than they know themself. To say that is to write off someone’s feelings. Sophie will always know Sophie better than Keefe knows Sophie. That’s just how it is. Also, this section is about his empathy, nothing to do with Sophie. But see how his mind jumps right to her and immediately connects her to it? That's a textbook sign of obsession and pedestalization. Sophie has nothing to do with his strong empathy. But he brings her up anyway. That’s not a good thing. 

“[THOUGH . . . KEEPING IT REAL? THE FOSTER OBLIVION CAN BE KINDA NOT COOL SOMETIMES.]” (94) Why the hell would you say that in an official government file??? Also, the fact that he thinks the “Foster Oblivion” is not cool . . . like that’s literally none of his business??? God, I wish people would stop harping on Sophie for being oblivious. It’s literally none of their business and also not a bad thing. Sophie can decide what she wants or doesn’t want to believe.

“[BUT THE REST OF THE STUFF IN THIS SECTION IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GETTING REDACTED. SERIOUSLY—BOUNDARIES, PEOPLE! FOSTER’S AMAZING—AND OBVIOUSLY WORKING WITH ME MAKES HER EVEN MORE AMAZING. . . . ]” (97) First of all, counting out all those Os was hell (there are twenty-two). Shannon really needs to stop doing that. That’s what italics are for. Second of all, “boundaries”? Oh, wow. This is so funny, considering all the times Keefe violates Sophie’s boundaries all the time. So not only does he encroach on her space, now he’s a hypocrite. He (rightfully) thinks it’s weird that the Council have an entire section speculating on their relationship, but then in a previous section he says that the Foster Oblivion can be “kinda not cool sometimes”? What?

[cut because character limit]

“[[ . . . ] FOSTER GETS TO DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS, OKAY? SHE CAN LIKE WHOEVER SHE WANTS OR BE CONFUSED ABOUT WHAT SHE’S FEELING. SHE CAN EVEN BE OBLIVIOUS—IT’S HER LIFE. HER CHOICE. AND EVERYONE NEEDS TO STAY OUT OF IT.] [EVEN ME.] [ESPECIALLY ME. I WOULD NEVER WANT TO . . . ] [NEVER MIND. MY POINT IS, LET THE POOR GIRL FIGURE THIS OUT ON HER OWN. [ . . . ]]” (98) If you’ve seen withcindy on YouTube, you probably know about the whole “It’s your choice” thing and how Rhysand invented feminism. If you don't, I highly recommend watching her ACOTAR videos. They’re hilarious. Anyway, that’s what immediately came to mind when I read this scene. Aw, how noble Keefe is. I really wish Shannon would stop beating the audience over the head about how good and sweet and pure and selfless and kind and amazing and spectacular and perfect and angelic and endearing Keefe is. Like Shannon, show not tell. Every time Shannon wants us to see how perfect Keefe is, she just makes him spit out some bullshit that nobody would realistically say. Then he just turns around and continues with his shitty actions, and Shannon thinks that makes him the perfect guy. No, it does not. He’s honestly giving fake-woke vibes with this word vomit. You know, the kind of people that say all the right things but never put it into action? That’s Keefe. He claims everyone needs to stay out of her life because it’s her choice, but then he goes around reading her emotions without her permission and extorting information out of her that she isn’t comfortable sharing. What a hypocrite. Honestly, Sophie should be running. He then says to let Sophie figure it all out herself and even he shouldn’t interfere, which directly contradicts all the times he himself interfered and made jokes about Sophie’s romantic life for his own amusement. More hypocrisy! Love this guy.

“[[ . . . ] I DIDN’T FIGURE IT OUT FAST ENOUGH, AND SHE USED ME FOR A WHILE. BUT THAT’S ALL DONE NOW, AND IT’S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE I TAKE HER DOWN. LET’S MOVE ON, SHALL WE?]” (98) Here, we have a serious contradiction. We’re constantly told Keefe feels overwhelming guilt at his mother’s betrayal (for what reason, I can’t fathom, but whatever) and that he thinks he messes everything up. But at the same time, he’s also easily able to brush right past it and claim that at some point he will for sure “take her down” (because his arrogance is the only thing that can trump his guilt). 

“[[ . . . ] I REALLY DON’T NEED ANYONE REMINDING FOSTER HOW MAD SHE WAS AT ME. [ . . . ]]” (100) Another example of the section having nothing to do with Sophie (it’s about him becoming a Mercadir), yet Keefe still somehow managing to drag the topic of Sophie’s anger at him into it. She’s on his mind all the time. I cannot emphasize enough how strange it is to think this is a good thing. It’s not romantic, it’s obsessive and borderline creepy. Also, Sophie is not going to read this file. Calm down, Keefe.

“[WHY IS THERE NOT A SECTION ON MY AMAZING HAIR????]” (100) Have some more old-school, cringy Keefe “humor”. Ah, it’s just like the good old days when he would talk about his hair almost non-stop.

[cut because character limit]

“But I was only half listening because she gets this cute little crinkle between her eyebrows when she’s trying to be serious, and it makes me want to reach up and smooth her forehead with my fingertip—and I’m betting she’d think I was super weird if I did that, since it’s not like she’s my . . . ” (481) Yes, this is an actual thing Shannon wrote that got past the editors without anyone dying of cringe. First of all, I hate the way Keefe talks about Sophie. She’s just this soft, kind of ditzy, child-like sort of figure in his head. He admits that he doesn’t care what she has to say, he just cares about how adorable she looks while she says it. This is a textbook sign of a toxic relationship. You should care about what your partner/crush says, because that shows that you see them as a person, not as your personal cover model. Also “trying to be serious” paints Sophie as this impudent little child who’s trying to get the attention of the older, more experienced adults and it very much implies that Sophie is not serious, but awwww, look how cute she looks trying to be serious, isn’t it adorable? Except Keefe and Sophie are the same age. So this is another case of textbook infantilization. I hate how this is made out to be normal and healthy in this series, it makes me so angry. And that last part isn’t anything specifically bad but it reads very oddly and is not at all the way real people think. What the heck.

“Pretty sure I’m just stalling, because this feels kiiiiiiiiiiiinda pointless.” (481) Not a Keefe-specific thing, but Shannon needs to stop stretching out her words like that. Especially since he’s literally writing this. Who writes like that??? Just underline it please, Shannon.

There’s a whole paragraph here on page 482 (if I had a digital copy I would copy-paste it here just to show you how cringy and long it is, but sadly, I don’t) which is clearly Shannon just trying to make Keefe look smart while also rubbing his daddy issues in our faces so we can drown in our pity for him. It’s not funny, which I assume it was meant to be. It comes off really, really cringy.

“I’m sure I’ll be digging into my mess of mommy issues soon enough. For now, let’s get back to the day Daddy Dearest met the Mysterious Miss F, shall we?” (484) Correct me if I’m wrong, but the point is this whole draw-memories-and-write-about-them thing is to try to find stuff Keefe’s mom might have erased from his head, right? So why is he completely sidestepping that very valid quest for a deep-dive into his daddy issues? This is not an issue I have with Keefe the person, but rather the way he’s written. Shannon sidesteps what makes logical sense for the story in order to fluff up the story with more Keefe content. In other words, the story’s coherence and logic is sacrificed for more Keefe page time where it doesn’t make sense. And I’m sick of it. It’s ridiculous, and nothing short of shameless fanservice.

“Once they do, they either feel awkward, or weird, or they start pitying me for having such a horrible family.” (485) Maybe if you wouldn’t talk about it all the time and rub it in people’s faces all the time, people would pity you less, hm? (And I am not saying Keefe shouldn’t talk about it, by the way. I'm just saying talking about it so much is not indicative of a person who wants to repress this or doesn’t want people to pity them. If Keefe truly didn’t want anyone’s pity, he wouldn’t keep bringing up his family all the time when it’s not necessary. But he does. It’s really contradictory. Pick a lane, Shannon.) It’s very clear Shannon only has Keefe constantly talk about how much he hates everyone’s pity because she needs to hide the fact that half the time, he’s the one committing that particular act. 

[cut because character limit]

“Thankfully, Foster didn't do that. She just felt sad—and a little bit indignant. And if I hadn't already known I liked her, I would’ve—” (486) First of all, what? Sophie has pitied Keefe for his horrible family several times over the course of the story. It’s constantly shoved in our face as every single other character takes a backseat in the story because poor, precious Keefe needs his pity from the audience, remember? So he’s not even right. Also, how is feeling sad for someone significantly different than pitying them? In both cases, you understand what the other person’s going through and wish it weren’t that way. You feel sorrow at the other person’s suffering. Pity is bad, but feeling sad for someone is good? What? Shannon’s really out here in the trenches trying to make Sokeefe sail off of weird, irrelevantly tiny details and minute differences like this. Keefe literally says that if he hadn’t already liked her, he would’ve started liking her . . . because of that completely insignificant difference. What. What, what, what. The entire point of this horrifically put-together explanation of the memory is to push Sokeefe. Please, can we please involve Keefe in something that isn’t designed to push Sokeefe? That last sentence . . . nobody talks like that. Certainly nobody writes like that. I think it’s supposed to be cutesy, like awwwww, look at poor Keefe with his adorable crush on Sophie, he’s so down bad, but it comes off so weird.

“[ . . . ] I guess that might’ve also had something to do with the bumps and scrapes and broken ribs I got when Mommy Dearest and her Neverseen buddies showed up and tried to steal Silveny. [ . . . ] But that’s not what this memory was about.” (486-487) Once again, we are veering in the exact opposite direction of what the point of this all is. Why do we care about Sophie and Keefe on an alicorn? What exactly does that have to do with Keefe searching for memories his mom might’ve taken from him? Nothing. It’s just another example of Keefe and Sokeefe being pushed above all sense and logic. It’s ruining the cohesiveness of the story. Why do we care? What is the point? 

“All I did was make a bunch of jokes to distract her—and it was super fun feeling her get all annoyed and embarrassed. I mean, look at that adorable blush! I could see it even with the moonlight washing out most of the color.” (488) Keefe’s thoughts about Sophie are truly heinous. He enjoys annoying her and embarrassing her, even back then, when he didn’t really know her that well? Wow, sign me up! I love it when guys annoy and embarrass me. Makes me feel really great. Definitely makes them well-rounded and grounded in reality. I suppose the comment on Sophie’s blush isn’t infantilization in this case, but the way Shannon tries so hard to push Sokeefe at every moment possible is really grating on me. And that last sentence. Who talks like that??? “I could see it even with the moonlight washing out most of the color” what the heck. Why does he talk so stilted like that??? Who. Talks. Like. This.

[cut because character limit]

“In fact . . . if I’m keeping it real . . . I’m pretty sure that blush is the reason I drew this memory. [ . . . ] That was the first time it felt like . . . maybe I had a tiny shot at making this brave, beautiful, blushing girl like me. [ . . . ] But there’s a teeny, tiny chance. And that’s enough. For now.” (489) This all feels so incredibly forced, like Shannon wants so desperately to show you why Sophie and Keefe would be so good together before she actually puts them together. It’s such an insecure way of writing. You shouldn’t have to spoonfeed your reader with weird rambles to show why a pair clicks. The readers should be able to see that themselves through the genuine, candid interactions you write. Through their dynamic. Through their relationship. But Sophie and Keefe’s relationship is chock full of boundary breaching, constant annoyance and embarrassment, and a lack of trust. So spoonfeeding it is! Also the way Keefe thinks about Sophie is just so. Ew. To me. Like it’s so over-the-top for no reason. Nobody thinks like this, even about their crush, even about their long-term crush, even about their long-term crush who they really, really, really like. I cannot believe this got past the editors, I am dying of cringe here. Also, I really wish Keefe would stop tacking “for now” at the end every time he talks about who Sophie will pick, because it really undercuts his supposed support for her choices. What, sometime in the future, he’ll feel like a chance isn’t enough? That’s what that “for now” is giving.

Keefe: I don’t want your pity. Also Keefe: “It’s super, super fun to be me, isn’t it?” (491) (Yes, I am aware that he said this in a private journal. But he says plenty of stuff like this out loud, too. So yeah, he really is just an overhyped pity magnet.)

“Any trust I was supposed to earn from handing over Kenric’s cache vanished the second Sophie did. And I knew the Neverseen were never going to trust me.” (494) He knew that from the start? And didn’t just leave after that? He knew his plan was hopeless and still went along with it. I know I’m beating a dead horse but somehow this makes his plan even stupider than it already was, which is pretty stupid. He literally knew his plan was bullshit. And he still did it. Because he wanted to “save[] the day and fix[] everything” (493). What the heck. Keefe is just. I don’t know how this is a real character. He is just so infuriatingly stupid, I’m actually speechless.

“And I’m pretty lucky no one got seriously hurt, and that Foster forgave me. I wasn't sure if she would.” (494) She really shouldn’t have, not without some serious work on Keefe’s part to gain her trust back. And what has he done since then? Oh, right, he’s hijacked their shared plans, refused good medical advice until he was forced to, extorted her feelings out of her, spilled personal secrets, and not agreed to stay away from the Neverseen when they thought they were specifically gunning for him. Where has he ever done anything to show even the slightest bit of development? He’s basically the same Keefe. No growth, no change. It really is a miracle that Sophie forgave him. Oh, wait, no it’s not. Because Shannon’s writing the series, and she needs Sokeefe to happen. Right. I forgot.

[cut because character limit]

“Sometimes I still worry that some tiny part of her holds it against me. That she’ll never fully trust me. That she’ll always see me as the guy who betrayed her and stole from her and ran off with the enemy.” (494) This would be really cool to explore if it was actually done. Sophie holding this against Keefe and struggling with that in the aftermath of Lodestar would be an awesome way to develop their relationship and have them overcome that hurdle and give them both some much needed development. But we know that aside from a single line at the beginning of Nightfall, Sophie never really blames Keefe. She just immediately forgives him for his time with the Neverseen. It’s pathetic writing. Something like that should have consequences. But it doesn’t, because then our poor Keefe will have to be *gasp* villainized. There could be this whole arc about how Sophie doesn’t trust Keefe the same and it impacts their relationship subtly and both of them feel it but don’t want to talk about it and it’s this giant, gaping hole. Then finally there’s a climax where Keefe confronts her about it and maybe she yells at him and he agrees that he’ll do anything to get her trust back. Then he does it. He does the smart thing, takes the smart advice. And he learns. He understands what he did was wrong and is truly a different person now. Honestly, the fact that Shannon explained this out shows me that she’s aware the possibility of this arc exists, but unfortunately, didn’t actually put it into action. Would it have been the most original conflict ever? No. But it would’ve been much better than whatever this dumpster fire of a lack of an arc she actually wrote is. I think I might’ve genuinely enjoyed Sophie and Keefe as a couple if she’d just made them have some distrust that they overcome through genuine work and growth.

“I make myself remember that expression every time I have to be around Fitzphie. It stops me from screaming, DON’T PICK HIM—PICK ME. [ . . . ] I did that. Not sure I deserve to be forgiven.” (494-495) One thing I really don’t get is why we need this commentary. Half the actual novella is written from Keefe’s perspective. I’m sure Shannon could’ve snuck in something to this effect into his actual inner monologue. Instead, we get this incredibly unsubtle, beating-over-the-head of a pity party. The implication here is that Keefe feels if he hadn’t made so many mistakes, he would’ve been a better partner for Sophie than Fitz, which is not his right to decide. Even if Keefe was a perfect angel who’d never made any mistake ever in his life, Sophie still has the right to choose who she wants to be with. Being a perfect person doesn’t automatically make you entitled to a romantic relationship. So the fact that Keefe thinks this is just so icky and gross. Seriously, the only thing stopping him from being unsupportive of Sophie and Fitz’s relationship (who are his friends, may I add) is the reminder of his own mistake? So if he hadn’t made that mistake he would shamelessly think he was a better choice for Sophie? This is borderline “nice guy” behavior. Then at the end he throws himself a pity-party as a little cherry on top, but of course he doesn’t actually think that, because if he was truly worried about whether he should be forgiven or not he would try to be better. Listen more. Deflate his head a little. Stop thinking he’s the smartest one in the room all the time. But he doesn’t, because he doesn’t care. He is a walking contradiction, the definition of a hypocrite. He annoys the shit out of me.

Also this memory contributed nothing to finding his erased memories and was instead just another vehicle to beat us over the head with Sokeefe content, which makes the Everblaze memory the only one that has actual significance to the task at hand so far.

[cut because character limit]

“I almost lost her. And if I had, it would’ve been all my fault. All of this is my . . . ” (497) Keefe go one page without throwing yourself a pity-party challenge (impossible). Seriously, instead of blaming himself for things that are his fault and that he can learn and grow from, he blames himself for this??? I don’t know how Shannon is even coming up with this stuff. But how are we going to get our pity-parties, no matter how little they make sense, if she doesn’t pull drama out of her ass? Also, once again, this memory has nothing to do with Lady Gisela or Keefe’s erased memories or anything to do with his condition at all.

“That’s been my plan for a long time—and not because I don’t think she can take care of herself. Because she shouldn’t have to. She’s dealing with enough pressure and responsibility and people trying to kill her. If there’s anything I can do to make things easier for her, I’ll do it. No matter what.” (499) I really wish Shannon would stop beating us over the head with all the reasons Sophie and Keefe are perfect for each other. Stop spoonfeeding us, Shannon. If they really do go together well, we’d be able to see it from their bond with each other. We don’t need to have all the reasons they should be together listed out in front of us like we’re reading a textbook. Shannon makes Keefe say all the perfect relationship green flags, as if any normal person talks, writes, or even thinks like this. This is an amazing example of Shannon’s tendency to tell, not show. Now that we’ve covered the tell, let’s talk about the show. Keefe feels the need to take care of Sophie because “she shouldn’t have to”. Okay, but that goes beyond just her physical health. What about all the times she’s wondered what stupid shit he’s going to do next and worried about him? What about her constant need to babysit him so he doesn’t do something dumb? What about the fact that she’s started giving into his plans because she knows she can’t stop him (when they go to London, for example)? Does he care about her enough to think about how his decisions might affect her? Is he even really taking care of her in any effective way? Oh, and this next part actually made me laugh out loud. Sophie’s dealing with so much pressure and responsibility, what if I made that worse by constantly doing stupid things and making her not trust that I’ll listen to good advice? What if I made that worse by making her constantly worry about me because she can’t trust that I’ll do the smart thing? “No matter what”, my ass. If Sophie asks him to sit something out, he doesn’t. If Sophie asks him to obey good medical advice, he won’t. If Sophie comes up with a plan with the group, he ruins it. He’s clearly not willing to do even the most basic things for her. Again, telling us this doesn’t make it true, Shannon. If you look at Keefe’s actions throughout the story, they tell a very different story. When has Keefe ever done anything to make Sophie’s life easier?

Also, this is another memory that doesn’t add anything to Keefe trying to trigger his lost memories. Just more Sokeefe propaganda. Yes, I’m calling it propaganda, because as I’ve hopefully made painfully clear, often the things we’re being told in this commentary thing don’t align with Keefe’s actions throughout the story.

[cut because character limit]

“Or the fact that I was only there because Alden basically asked me to join Team Fitzphie. (Yeah, I know. I wanted to say no. But I said yes for her. She deserves to decide what she wants—even if it’s not me.)” (500) Even if it’s not you? How generous of you to make that clear, Keefe. Sure, Keefe’s above the bar, but the bar’s in hell, so I don’t really know how much that means. Also, he only came because of Sophie? Sophie? The trial wasn’t even personal for her. It was personal for Fitz, his supposed best friend, and Biana, who he apparently thinks of as a sister. And he came for Sophie? Keefe’s gargantuan tendency to pedestalize Sophie and revolve every single one of his decisions around her strikes yet again. He wanted to say no, and the thought of Sophie changed his mind. Sophie. Not Fitz and Biana, for whom this would certainly be a strenuous occasion. Sophie. Goodness. 

“Pretty sure that’s what my mom is counting on. . . . And before I go any farther down that depressing thought-path, let’s move on.” (501) Isn’t that the point, though? To think about his mom and try to see if that triggers anything important? He really should go down that path. Why does Shannon keep sidestepping the actually valuable point of this exercise in favor of . . . whatever the heck it is that I’m reading???

“Pretty sure that proves this project is a waste of time. It hasn’t triggered any new memories. I haven’t learned anything new about stellarlune, or those humans my mom killed, or the letter I delivered, or anything else. Seems like a pretty epic fail. But what else is new?” (502-503) No??? Keefe cannot be this dumb. I refuse to believe it. Maybe the reason the project failed was because . . . none of the memories you chose were of your mom or anything to do with her projects, with the exception of the third and last one, and in those cases the connections to the behind-the-scenes of his mom’s projects were so vague that it’s hard to get anything solid. We know for a fact that Keefe drew the human guy holding the letter. Why didn’t Keefe try to write about that? That actually has a connection to his mom’s project. Same things with the shattered memory they discovered. The memory he remembered about his mom using a starstone to leap to Nightfall. The memory of his mom talking to Brant and Alvar. Anything actually connected to what he’s trying to find. No shit you aren’t going to remember stuff about stellarlune if you draw and write about riding an alicorn with your crush. Are we being for real right now??? And yeah, Shannon could’ve done any of the things I just described. This Keefe-draws-his-memories-and-comments-on-them concept is actually a great idea, Shannon just used it in the worst way possible: to push Sokeefe instead of actually using it for its intended purpose. Imagine how cool it could’ve been if we got a drawing and commentary on the letter or the starstone, or even anything Keefe may have seen during his time with the Neverseen. This is such a waste of potential it pains me. I really wish Shannon would stop sacrificing logic for the love triangle. It’s ruining the story.

Congratulations, you made it to the end. That must've taken you at least a few hours. Go drink some water. I'm going to make a Part Two after Unraveled's release, so. That's a thing.

[ratcash-wasgud]

hi! i just came by your work last night, loved it! stayed up reading it! 11/10 *cheff kiss* Are you up for a petition? maybe another mizuxreader, perhaps villainxhero kinda situation. the reader could be one of the money/sex hungry affiliated with the white man (not a white men herself but like a lap dog of someone with higher power than Abijah Fowle). instead of mizu taking Fowler she takes the *reader*, keeps her alive and makes her speak 7u7 maybe scream. they end up helping each other in the end after much fighting. ofc adding some nsfw there pfff if that wasnt obvious.

hope you see this! lmfao

Omg, yes!! Genius. This set something ablaze inside me (especially since I love witty villain characters). I was thinking about making this a one shot tho, but if yall want a second part tell me, and i'll try. Try. Anyways, this'll be more lighthearted than my other works. Oh, and I'm sorry if this isn't how you imagined the story to go. I interpreted some of the originaly show's story, but mostly I just wen't along with what's the easiest to get my own story going, and I probably got some cannon info wrong too, but please don't yell at me lmao.

Btw!! I'm really glad i got a request!! So thank you! If anyone has any other ideas, I'd be glad to try and working with it!!

Okay, enjoy!!

ℕ𝕖𝕜𝕠 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕨𝕖𝕤𝕥.

When Mizu pulled up to tea with Heji Shindou, instead of the half-blad old guy, she was faced with you. Some woman in strange clothing. It seemed like it was a mix of western clothing, and some japanese casual wear. You even had your hair down, letting it flow freely. How unusual.

"Ah, the infamous samurai who is tearing through anyone in his way!" You say with a smirk on your face, opening up your arms. "Come, come. Oh, and I see you've bought a dog too." You add, looking smugly at Taigen.

"How dare-" He starts, but gets shut down by Mizu quickly, and the two follow you to sit down.

"So, I've heard you're after the white men, huh?" You say, not sitting on your knees, but sitting down criss-cross style. "Why? What is it that you're after? Money?" You ask, starting to pour some tea.

"I don't need things like that. I have a vow. I swore revenge." Mizu says simply. "And what is it that you need from me?"

"Oh, nada." You shrug. "I'm just willing to offer a deal." You shoot the both of them a smirk. "I'd love to have that fat bastard dead too! My loyalty isn't with him at all!" You say it like it's the most exciting thing ever. "You see, that sack of shit has everything in the world! Money, power, connections...and he's still complaining! Ha! Meaning, he doesn't deserve it." You say as you lift your tea and take a sip. "I, on the other hand, would take much better care of his privilages."

"So you want me to kill him so you can take his place?" Mizu asks, highly suspicious. She glances at Taigen, who is still giving you a dirty look for your comment from earlier.

"Yap." You nod, tossing down your cup. "Fowler wouldn't be an easy target, so without my help, you could already start planning your funeral." You say, but now a small dangerous glint appears in your eyes.

"And why should I trust you?" Mizu asks, her eyes narrowing at you, but your smirk doesn't falter.

"You shouldn't. Didn't you mother tell you not to trust strangers?" You say with a chuckle and Mizu rewards it with a small glare. A small, but cold one. "Still, it's up to you. Do you wanna kill that bastard so much you're willing to take the risk?"

"And how do we know this is not an ambush? That you won't just kill us if we say no?" Taigen cuts in, putting his hands on the table which you reward with your smile getting smugger.

"Oh, please." You put your hands up in defense. "You really think I'd waste weapons and men on you?" You say, looking him straight in the eye. "And besides, you won't say no." You look back at Mizu. "My deal has only benefits for you. You'll just have to gulp down some self respect."

Mizu raises an eyebrow. "What do you mean?" She can't deny, having someone close to Fowler himself helping her would be a huge positive, but...you just seem so sly. Like a cat.

"Ah, you see, I can get you inside Fowler's little residence." You stand up to pull of a blanket off a big barrel. "You'd fit inside quite well. You're a scrawny thing anyways." You say with a taunting smirk.

"It's a trap!" Taigen says to Mizu right away, but Mizu seems unfazed and steps closer. "How exactly would you get me inside?"

"Aw, I wanted that one to be a surprise." You say with a mock pout. "Fowler thinks I'm out getting a good deal on sake, and I kinda am." You take the barrel's to of, revealing that it's half full of sake. "I'd have you delivered right to his nose."

"You'd die." Taigen cuts in again, and Mizu can see your eye twitch at that.

"Could you shut your lil' pet up? The adults are talking." You say, your smirk disappearing.

"She's obviously untrustworthy!" Taigen draws his sword on a whim, but he's met with a revolver to his head right away.

"Don't try that shit with me." You say, tilting your head at him, but you then seel Mizu's blade at your nape. "Touché." You mutter.

"So what now?" You ask with a smirk breaking out on your face again. "Kill me and lose your only chance at killing the man you swore to slay down? Ha! Go on then." You say, glancing over at your shoulder at her, and you see Mizu tense up.

Suddenly, you feel a sharp pain in your head and you fall to the ground. Mizu hit you with the hilt of her blade, stripping you of your conciousness.

The next thing you see is a capmfire and a siluette around you. As you blink a lot to clear your vision, you notice Mizu and as you look down, ropes around you. She tied you up.

"So you didn't kill me after all." You say out loud, getting Mizu's attention. "The other guy? The one with a bald spot and a funny glare. The dog." You look around.

"Away." Mizu shrugs simply. It's the truth though, Ringo is away in a nearby town, getting supplements for the road, and she left Taigen with a promise of a later duel.

"So...What is you plan now, big bad samurai? Try and torture me into telling you shit? Ha!" You say, wriggling in the ropes.

"I'm planning to exchange you for information." Mizu says simply, staring at the campfire. "I'm sure Heji Shindo would like to have you back."

You grit your teeth. "That old fucker doesn't give a shit about anything but his money and his dick. I'm sure that power hungry bastard is happy I'm gone." You say, scoffing. "But go on, try." Suddenly, you realize something. "What did you do with my gun?" You ask in a hurry, trying to feel around at your hilt.

Suddenly, Mizu lifts your gun, holding it between two fingers. "This?" She asks, looking at you from the corner of her eyes.

"Don't you dare lose it! I want it back when you're done with me!" You stomp your foot as much as you can.

"You know, for someone talking so big earlier, you're quite pissy now." Mizu says, rolling her eyes and you huff in response.

Then...as you glanced back at the fire, you noticed a small pot, boiling. You tried to lift yourself to see what's in it, but the ropes didn't allowed you to.

"...if I starve to death, I'm just gonna be a waste, you know." You mumble under your nose, and Mizu snorts. She then reaches for the pot, and pours out some what seems like soup into a small bowl and she puts it beside you.

You stare at the bowl, your eye twitching. "I can't reach it." You say, your eyebrows creasing together and she just looks at you with a small, amused grin.

"Huh." She says, leaning back on her hands. "Really?" She taunts you. Oh, this woman is horrible. Fine, you think. In one swift motion, you move your leg as much as you're able, and kick the bowl, spilling it all on Mizu.

Mizu's eyes widen and she looks down on her clothes. "...oh, you little bitch." She hisses at you.

"Come, kill me then!" You stick out your tongue childishly.

"You know damn well I could!" Mizu huffs back, throwing the bowl at you.

"Ha-ha, your whole little quest depends on me!" You laugh right into her face and wriggle your legs. Mizu almost growls at you and suddenly she picks up your gun again, and holds it above the fire, threathening to drop it.

"No!" You yell out, and fall forward, and bite into her ankle. Mizu yanks her leg away with a hiss and reaches down to pull you up by your collar.

"Okay, what's your fucking deal?" She says from behind greitted teeth.

"What's yours?" You ask right back, snarling right back at her. "If you'd wanted to kill me, you'd have done it by now. So, want me to talk? Earn it!" You say, getting closer to her face, trying to stand your ground.

"The fuck you want?" Mizu tosses you away, and sits at a reasonable distance from you. "To have Fowler dead? Then just tell me how to get in, and where he is!"

"I want you to untie me, and hand me back my gun!" You demand, and lift your nose, refusing to look at her.

"What's so great about this gun anyways?" Mizu picks up the gun again and looks at it more closely. It's obviously a western gun with a leather grip and engravings along it's barrel in the form of some kind of bird.

You scoff in response. "That was my first gun. It's special." You say like it's the most obvious thing ever. "I will bring it with me when I finally travel aboard, away from this stuck-in-the-past land."

"Huh?" Mizu raises her eyebrows. "You wanna leave Japan? For what?" She asks mockingly.

"Because! This place isn't wide enough for my potential! After Fowler is out of the picture, I will visit take his money and go to London. Start a new life and all. I will really bloom there." You say, rolling onto your back. "People will understand me there."

Mizu narrows her eyes. "I don't think people in Japan are the problem, you're just a common lunatic." That earns a chuckle from you.

"Says the guy who is set out to kill four men he doesn't know shit about." You says, glancing at her, and Mizu can't help herself, cracks a smirk.

"You have guts to talk back to your captor, you know." She says and lifts her eyebrows in amusement. She glances up at the sky too. The stars are very bright tonight.

"You won't kill me." You say, tilting your head so that you're looking straight at her. It's just now that she notcied how nicely the stars reflect in your eyes. Your eyes now look calm, and they don't have any slyness, or mischief in them at the moment. "It wouldn't benefit you." You shrug. "And torturing me would be useless. Pain passes."

"Say," Mizu starts, looking back at the fire. "You said that you're not loyal to Fowler. So who are you loyal to?"

"Me." You say withouth hesitation. "The one who I want the best for and I trust the most is myself. I'm not loyal to any old, egostical bastard with money, like most people in this country are." Say say it with disgust. "I never was and never will be loyal to anyone else, but me."

Mizu scoffs. "What are you, a stray cat?" She asks with a hint of amusement as she looks down at you. "That just makes you even more untrustworty."

You scoff back. "Who said that I want to be trustwhorty?" You ask, rolling your eyes. "Plus, I'm free. Well, not yet, but I will be. And it's not like you can say the same."

Mizu can't help but snicker. "Is that it? Freedom? I'm free enough, thank you."

"Naaaaah." You shake your head. "You're tied down by your own revenge. It tells you where to go, what to see, what to feel...if I told you where's Fowler, you'd get going by tomorrow. Even if I told you you'd die, you'd still go. Not because you want to die, but because that's the only thing you know. Revenge and rage. You'd jump in the well if I said Fowler's at the bottom of it." You say boldly, and look her straight in the eyes before you smirk slyly.

"You think you know everything, huh?" Mizu frowns and gets up to you, grabbing you by the hair. "You know nothing of me. I need this. I will throw my life away if I have to, to finish what I've started, so I won't think twice about taking yours too."

"You're all talk about killing me. Deep down, you know you need me." You taunt her. "You won't find that bastard withouth me. I work under his arm, I could get you there soooo easily, but you're throwing it away because you get too emotional." Your smirk gets even more smug. You kinda look like a cat, Mizu notices again. A cat that has just pushed off something expensive off a shelf, breaking it, and knowing it too.

Mizu noticed that sometimes you force that smugness into your little smirks. She sees it because the corners of your lips twitch. In reality, you are scared of her, but you'd rather die than let her see that. She never met a woman like you. She doesn't know how you got to the place you are, but she respects it. And still, you kow she could take your life. You're tied up, tripped of your weapons and vulnerable, yet you still taunt her. You're very annoying but somehow she can't help but admire your bravery. But the moment you're cornerned into a corner, you hiss and scratch.

After that, she lets you go and walks to be at a good six and a half feet away from you before she lays down, and decides to sleep withouth another word. Not much time passes when Mizu stays sleepless, but she hears you snore. And for some reason, she can't help but smile. You breathe through your mouth when you sleep. It's kind of cute.

The next couple of days are spent with Mizu travelling with Ringo and Taigen, and she drags you along too. Literally. She drags you while you're tied up. During those days, you managed to talk to Ringo a lot. Most of the time he's the one who's assigned to watch over you, and it doesn't seem like he has even as much as a mean bone in his body. You could even call some of your conversations pleasent. The other two on the other hand...you sometimes talk to Mizu and you two always end up in a neck to neck situation. Mizu wants to get you to talk, but she hasn't hurt you yet. She just always threathens you, yells and curses. You just flat out insult her at every chance you get though. It's not because you hate her, persay, but because you find it funny. You're being held captive after all, you need to use every chance you get to have fun.

Currently, you are left alone for the first time in weeks, as the others left your outside of town while they get something done. When you're sure they're out of seeing and hearing range, you start to rub the ropes on your wrist against a bigger rock you've found, trying to "saw" through it. When that irritating thing finally snaps, and you begind to get yourself free, you suddenly hear a very menacing sound from behind.

"The fuck are you doing?" You turn your head and see Mizu, glaring and gripping her sword. Fuck, you think and as she charges at you. You quickly throw away the rest of your ropes, and dogde out of the way. You didn't got to where you are now withouth knowing how to stand your ground, and defending yourself...and knowing how to cheat, of course.

You jump to your feet and get behind Mizu, and with one swift, forward kick to her side, you don't just get her to grunt and almost fall, you also send your gun flying from her side. By now, you've learned that that's where she keeps it. You're still just happy she didn't outright get rid of it. As the gun slides on the cold ground, you jump after it while Mizu regains her composure, and finally obtain it once again.

"Yes!" You silently cheer to yourself and point the gun at Mizu, who just looks at you, her blade covering half her face.

You gulp. Do you really wanna fire at Mizu? Kill her even? You did kinda want to kill her and betray her at first, but now you're...not sure. Sure, she's an asshole but...over those days as being her captive, you learned some things about her...she's not as heartless and cold. She fed you herself, she managed to keep you safe, even if she kept you in robes, and she just wants revenge...she even kept your gun safe.

But you can't show weakness. That's not what you stand for, so you shoot, but aim at her leg. She dodges of course, and manages to pin you down with her blade at your neck, but your gun at her stomach.

You just stare at her eachother, panting, not sure who's gonna kill who first. Mizu stares into your eyes, seeing her own reflection in them. Suddenly she notices that familiar glint in them, and how you swallow while panting, and how nose moves when you take a deep breath...and she feels her stomach fluttering. With adrenaling flowing through her veins and her skin haven't feeling contact with someone else's for so long, she makes a decision. A quick, and a little foolish one.

She pushes her lips against yours, her eyes closing and her breathing speeding up even more. And to her biggest surprise...you kiss back right away. It's all happening so fast. One minute you're nearly killing eachother, and in the other, you're passionately making out with her hands under your clothes, feeling your skin with your weapons thrown to the side.

"Asshole. You fired at me." Mizu mumbles into the kiss, her hands firmly feeling up the skin on your sides, while you rin your hands down her spine.

"Dickhead. You kept me tied up for weeks." You mumble back, gently biting into her lower lip, which Mizu rewards with a small gasp. Suddenly, she feels your hands under her clothes too.

"I knew it." You whisper. "A man could never have a soul like yours." You say and pull her back into a kiss. You feel her knees between your legs, pushing at your core, and in response you squeeze one of her breasts. Mizu starts to get rid of your clothes one by one, and as she does that, you quickly strip her of her own too.

Mizu's slander fingers slowly travel to your slit, but as she does, you grip her wrist and stop her. "No." You mumble. "Not like this." You flip her over (not easily though, she fights back even now), and look down at her naked form, quickly throwing away her chest bindings too.

"Fuck..." You mumble as you carefully align your core with hers, your clits touching, and moving together with every breath. And as you start to move gently, holding yourself up on your hands next to her head, you can hear her moan. She grinds back against yours, your juices mixing together. Even in this moment, it's as if you're both fighting for dominance. You don't know when will Mizu just reach up and choke you to death, but honestly? That's the best part.

You feel her hands around you, one clawing at your back, the other on your jaw...then cheeks, then lips, then the last thing you know is that she's forcing a finger inside of your mouth while you quietly moan and bite down on it. In response you push harder against her, almost squishing her clit with yours, which end in a louder moan from both of you.

"Can't...can't fucking take it..." Mizu moans, pushing her finger deeper inside your mouth before she retreats it, and uses her other hand to pull on your hair instead.

"What? Gonna cum? Ha." You manage to murmur out, not being able to stop your hips, feeling yourself getting closer to the edge too.

"You...fucking wish...ah!" Mizu's whole body twitches as you angle yourself a little differently, giving a whole new sensation to both of you, making you bite into her shoulder while she grips a handful of your hair thightly. And with that, a louder, choked back moan escpaed from both of you...being in perfect balance with eachother, and reaching your climax at the same time.

You stay there, just quietly panting and laying there, on top of eachother in silence for a while. You ahve your face burried into Mizu's neck, basking in her scent while Mizu still has her hand in your hair, feeling it's texture against her cheek.

"...you gotta go through a tunnel." You mumble.

"What?" Mizu perk up, lifting your head by your hair to look into your eyes.

"To get into Fowler's castle. You gotta go through a tunnel that is like...twenty steps away from the road's end and is filled to the brim with traps." You mumble, having your eyes open only halfway. "You gotta head East after you leave the last small village before the forest."

Mizu takes all that in. Now she knows how to get there...now she knows everything. "So that's what it took you to talk? For me to fuck you?"

"I fucked you." You say with a huff and get off of her, putting your clothes back on. "Well, I guess you got what you wanted, and I'm free too." You say, not really sure why. There are no ropes holding you back anymore, so...íthis is your cue to leave, isn't it?

"Wait, where are you going?" Mizu sits up, looking after you.

"Back to Fowler." You shrug. "I'm still his right hand. He probably sent men to find me." You sigh as you finish dressing up. "See you...at the castle." You say, look at her above your shoulder.

"..." Mizu narrows her eyes. "Fuck you." She spits.

"Check." You put on that so familiar smug smirk and hold up a thumbs up. "Spare me a seat in the audience when you cut his head off." You wave as you start walking away.

"...like a fucking stray cat." Mizu sighs, and before you dissappear, the last thing she sees is your wink.

[turtlecleric]

Masterpost

Hey, I'm Cleric! This is my TMNT x Reader sideblog. Something is Very Wrong with me, and I'm here to both receive and inflict psychic damage via fictional turtle men. 18+!! All characters aged up 💕 I do not take requests, sorry!!

MINORS. DO. NOT. INTERACT.

Minors and blogs that do not indicate that they are adults in their bio, masterpost, or about page will be blocked.

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Navigation

If you're looking for content on a specific turtle, I tag stuff like this: iteration!turtle

Iterations: 03, 07, bay, and rise

Turtles: leo, raph, donnie, and mikey

So, for example, if you're looking for stuff with Donnie from Rise, that's tagged as #rise!donnie

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TurtleCleric Scrolls (stuff I've written) - This post was getting waaay too long, so I'm only going to add links here for pieces that are at least 500 words. If you want to see everything, just search the #turtlecleric scrolls tag. I mostly write with a female reader in mind. Please make sure to heed the content warnings!

2003

Yes, Leonardo - NSFW; Leo does a scene with Reader; 1612 words

Prompt: "Can I sit?" - cute? with Donnie; 633 words

2007

Perfect - NSFW; Viole(n)t Part 1 (Leo and Raph are in a relationship with reader and share her in bed); 1785 words

Just Right - NSFW; Viole(n)t Part 2; 2707 words

Just For Me - NSFW; Viole(n)t, early relationship; Raph is pissed and uses reader to get back at Leo; 1596 words

Prompt: "You love me?" - angst with Raph; 2985 words

Bay

Get Out - Angst; Donnie wants to help reader during a depressive episode, but reader pushes him away; 657 words

Shark Week - Comfort; Donnie takes care of you on your period; 617 words

Be Mine? - Angst; Reader has a not-very-good Valentine's Day, only for Mikey to show up and make it better (featuring mutually pining idiots); 1056 words

New Drug - Angst; Mikey x Addict!Reader, casual sex with pining; Reader's POV is 849 words; Mikey's POV is 1561 words

Nightmare - Hurt/Comfort; Mikey feels guilty about reader's past assault; 881 words

Interrupted - NSFW; Mikey thinks about reader while masturbating; 1760 words

Sparkle - NSFW; Mikey and reader have some spicy time for her birthday; 2634 words

Deserved - Angst; a continuation of something dear Yorshie wrote, read this first; Raph comes across reader on a job without knowing it's her; 820 words [baby's first reader fic!]

Too Late - Angst; happens during/right after Deserved and is Raph's POV; 890 words

Not Your Fault - Angst/Hurt/Comfort?; Raph accidentally triggers a panic attack/dissociative episode in reader; 1522 words

Stupid - Angst/Hurt/Comfort; Reader starts crying during spicy time, and Donnie comforts her; 1247 words

Butterflies - Mikey, soul mate au, uhhh cute? idk; 1100 words

anchor - hurt/no comfort; 722 words

Got You - Raph, angst, mostly hurt and very little comfort, involves graphic sexual assault, please heed the warnings at the beginning; 2529 words

doomsday - Leo, angst/hurt/no comfort; 1384 words

Prompt: "Shhhh, come here." - Leo, hurt/comfort; 527 words

Rise

Gone - Angst; SymphonyBadFuture!Leo helps Donnie on a bad grief day (there is no reader in this one). Won't make sense if you haven't read Symphony by desceros (go read symphony holy shit go read symphony RIGHT NOW I'm BEGGING YOU)

Lucky - NSFW; Donnie likes it when you pin him (this one is an ao3 link); 1092 words [baby's first smut!]

Beat. Past Tense. - Angst; Leo finds reader, but not quickly enough; 699 words

Safe - Angst/Hurt/Comfort?; Reader is kidnapped and Leo saves her; 1448 words

Let Me Take Care of You - Angst/Hurt/Comfort; Leo checks on you during a depressive episode (this started as an "imagine if" and then slipped into fic territory by the end); ~600 words

Good Morning - NSFW; Reader wakes up to find that she orgasmed in her sleep while laying with Leo; heed the warnings; 534 words

I Feel It Coming - NSFW; Leo wakes reader up for some spicy time; 2073 words

Sleepy - Cute?; Raph realizes he likes reader; 855 words

I See You - Angst/Hurt/Comfort?; Leo is fine, but he's really, really not; 835 words

I Know Now - NSFW; reader wants to feel what Donnie feels when he has his mating seasons; 2938 words

What Did I Do? - NSFW; HEAVY ANGST; Raph is forced to mate with reader; HEED THE CONTENT WARNINGS; 3403 words

Brownies - Hurt/Comfort; Leo comes to reader for help; 869 words

Trapped - Angst ...horror? with Raph as the Trapper character from Dead by Daylight and the reader as a survivor in the trial; 4181 words

Pretty Girl - yandere!Mikey, NSFW; part 1 is 627 words, part 2 is 1444 words

Prompt: "Come here, dumbass!" - sort of angst with Leo and future!Leo (Leon); 1243 words; Here's part 2 (NSFW; 2287 words)

Prompt: "You love me?" - hurt/comfort with Raph; 883 words

Unspecified

...what? - some um. short, odd thing; angst, if you know what's happening; 685 words

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Tag List (for my own future reference - please shoot me an ask or tag me in a post/reply if you'd like to added to the list!)

@yorshie @luckycharms1701 @thejudiciousneurotic @khayalli @thelaundrybitch @mxalmighty @justalotoffanfiction @shakeyourtrees @silverwatergalaxy @morning-sun-brah

[noblehouseofgay]

Amortentia

Jegulus/Black Brothers microfic

Mostly fluff for once <3

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

"Aw come on, what's it smell like, Reggie?" Ever since potions ended for the day, James has been asking Reg the same question. What does his Amortentia smell like.

"None of your business." "What's going on?" Oh great. His brother. Sirius slung his arms over both boys' shoulders, shoving in between them.

"Well I'm t r y i n g to get Baby Black to spill what his potion smells like, but he won't budge."

"Don't call me that."

Sirius laughs a bit. "Aw does Reggie have a secret crush?" Regulus' cheeks flushed. "Fuck off." He shoved Sirius arm off him. "At least tell me, I'm your brother."

Although he knew better, the petty stubborn part of him won. He looked his brother in the eyes. "Ton meilleur ami (your best friend)."

Sirius' eyes widened. Regulus bit his tongue, not knowing what to expect from his brother.

Sirius just stared at him for a minute. "I- you-" he huffed and stomped off. Regulus' mouth went dry. He expected his brother to not be happy, but he didn't expect angry. He stared off, in a daze.

James frantically looked back and forth between where Sirius went and Regulus. "I'll- I'll go talk to him, I'm sure it'll be ok." He began to leave but Regulus stopped him. "No....I'll speak with him."

He walked down the hallway, messing with his sleeve. Eventually he came across his brother standing against a wall outside.

He tried to control his shaky breaths. "I wasn't going to do anything about it..."

Sirius sighed. "James though? Really? My best friend."

"It's not like I can control it, Sirius..." He sighed. "Look. I know he deserves better than me. I wasn't ever going to tell him or do anything about it....so if that's what you're worried about, then stop it. James will go on blissfully ignorant, never knowing of my pathetic feelings." His voice had bite in it, his attempt to disguise the way his heart ached.

Sirius was quiet. Which would usually be cause for celebration, but right now it just hurt. Deep down he always knew James was Sirius' preferred brother, but he didn't think Sirius would be mad at him for this. How could he be mad? Sirius should be happy that Regulus appreciates James so much. And he should be happy that Regulus won't act on it. He won't get in anyone's way. He can bury his feelings. James can have Lily and he'll let the world keep turning the way its supposed to while he sits the bench.

Sirius broke the silence "I'm not...mad." He couldn't have said that sooner? Saved regulus some panic? "I just don't want either of you hurt." Oh.

"I wouldn't hurt him. Not if I can help it." Sirius looked at him. "I don't want you hurt either, Reg..."

Regulus rolled his eyes. "Sirius, please. This is James we're talking about, he wouldn't hurt anyone, let alone his best friend's little brother."

"Maybe not on purpose, but if he doesn't return your feelings..."

"We don't need to worry about that. I'm not telling him." "You can't be serious." "Of course not, I'd never want to be you."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You're really not going to tell him?" His expression softened a little.

Regulus looked at his feet. "No."

It was quiet for a minute. "Can I ask why?" Sirius sounded softer than he'd heard him in a long time. It was almost nice, if only it hadn't been about this.

Regulus hesitated. "Whether he...returns my feelings or not, I don't want to hold him back." He hated admitting these things out loud. "He can do better than me. And he should...do better than me. I don't deserve him."

"Regulus-" "No, Sirius. You of all people should understand I'm not good enough. I'm sarcastic. I'm rude. He thrives in the sunlight, and I am nothing but darkness. I'm in the house you've both hated since year one. I am everything you all should despise." He didn't mean to say so much, but it all just flowed out. He couldn't control it once he started. His eyes stung a little. He looked away.

He's happy his brother talks to him again. He missed him. Of course he missed him. But there will always be part of him that feels he doesn't belong with his brother and his friends. He had always felt like an outsider. Maybe he should've stayed an outsider rather than pushing his way in.

Sirius looked at him with sad eyes. "I don't despise you.....I never have." Part of Regulus knew that was true, but there would always be a voice that told him otherwise. "James should be lucky...that you care for him so much, Reg. I know it's hard for you.....to have feelings like this....he'd be lucky."

"He wants Lily, not me." Regulus couldn't look at his brother anymore. He didn't want his brother to put ideas in his head. Regulus knew it could never work, he didn't want Sirius even entertaining the idea. "He likes Lily and she likes him. They'd be good together." He paused. His voice got quieter. "And all I want James to be happy..."

Even if he couldn't have him in this life or the next. He wanted James to be happy. Just like he'd always wanted Sirius happy, whether he was involved or not.

Sirius was looking off somewhere. He was thinking. "Whatever you're thinking, stop it." "I just think maybe we could find out for sure who he likes." "Sirius he doesn't like me that way." "He could. You don't know he doesn't." "Sirius- I am not doing this! I won't give myself false hope!" "Reg, I don't think it's false hope, I really think he could like you."

Regulus was quiet. He knew they were both too stubborn to give in, but just this once he would. Whether it was for selfish reasons or not, nobody would know. "Don't be obvious about it. Whatever you're going to do- don't be obvious. I'll kill you if he finds out not on my terms."

"All we have to do is find out what h i s potion smelled like. He asked you, we'll just say you'll tell him if he tells you."

It wasn't a bad plan. It was simple, and regulus could just lie if needed. "Fine."

So back to James they went. "Are you two ok?" His eyes were so concerned, he really cared about them both didn't he?

"We're all good, prongs. Though, before we left, you wanted to know what Reggie's potion smelled like. But I want to know what yours smelled like. Think it's a fair trade right?"

"Oh-" James tensed up a little to Regulus surprise. It wasn't a secret he fancied Evans, the whole bloody castle had known for years.

"Well it smelled sort of like freshly opened ink, vanilla..." His voice quieted. "And a little like broom polish."

Sirius smirked a little at Regulus, who's face was warming up. "Interesting mix there, Prongs. Doesn't exactly seem like Evans, does it?"

"No...not really." James tried to manage a light hearted laugh.

"Now, Reggie, I believe you owe an answer too."

Regulus wanted to slap that smirk from his brother's face. "Cardamom and cedar wood." He stared daggers at the floor. "And...broom polish...as well."

"Interesting. Very interesting." Sirius was so fucking smug that Regulus almost pulled out his wand to hex him, but he was distracted when James moved closer.

He looked up at him. "What, Potter? You got your answer."

James was smiling. His eyes were so kind. So lovely. "Yeah....I did."

Regulus felt his face burning. "Good." He threw one more glare at his brother and promptly left, but the entire time he swore he felt Potter's eyes never leave him until he was out of sight.

[perfectprettypisces]

I try to stay out of tabloids and gossip sites and I'm probably end up deleting this, but something really irked me and I felt like I wanted to share...

⚠️ WARNING: LONG POST INCOMING (BUT IT'S IMPORTANT, I PROMISE) ⚠️

To be completely transparent, I am a big fan of both Glen and Adria as actors and I, admittedly, have not seen Hit Man yet. I also don't know personally (obviously) or as people. But I'm writing this post not as a fan, but as someone hoping to work in the industry one day as a writer. Something that bothered me about Entertainment Tonight taking this quote from Glen and Adria's InStyle interview is that it's almost trying to make cheap gossip out of what was actually a very important conversation that they had with the interviewer about filming the sex scenes in Hit Man.

This is the quote with context. The interviewer asks them: This movie is such a tonal mix: action, noir, comedy. How did you find the right balance? Were there other movies you used as touchstones?

In an industry that notoriously undervalues, mistreats, and silences women's voices, ESPECIALLY women of color, I think it reflects well on this film (as well as on Richard Linklater and Glen) that Adria felt safe enough that she was able to provide her input on these intimate scenes and how they can do it in a way that they're both comfortable.

This has NOT always been the case and unfortunately, still isn't the case for many women in film. Entertainment Tonight taking that quote out of context to make a graphic out of it cheapens the entire conversation because unfortunately, not everyone cares to read the rest of the article and will take that quote and run with it. Some people might not even read the caption. However, their caption wasn't that much better either.

This movie doesn't work without Adria and I know that even without watching. Both Glen and Richard Linklater have stated multiple times that they needed Adria to make this film work. By what they say about each other, it seems like there's a lot of trust there.

I hope my obvious fangirling on Tumblr about Glen and Adria (mostly Glen) doesn't discredit this entire post. Still, as I said in the beginning, even if I wasn't a fan of Glen and Adria, I would still side-eye this post after reading the entire InStyle article. Hollywood has always needed to do better when it comes to the treatment of women on film sets and seeing this important conversation boiled down to an out-of-context graphic is just not sitting right with me.

I highly recommend reading the entire InStyle article. With the way they talk about the film, it's obvious they both worked really hard on it and are proud of the outcome.

This could be me overreacting, but as someone who wants to work in a (hopefully but doubtfully) changed industry, I truly despise narratives like these blocking out bigger issues that deserved to be addressed.

[krirebr]

Thoughts or thots on swapping the babes in More Than This? What if Ransom was the BFF!step bro and Steve was the arranged groom to be? 👀

OH MY GOD! This is just- oh no! This has taken over all my thoughts since you casually slipped it into my inbox yesterday. I'm not even going to attempt a drabble cause I know it would end up being 5k and just part one 🤣 and you will not do that to me! 🤣🤣🤣 So here are my quickly-jotted extensive thoughts on what this would look like.

Ok, so your dad married Linda when you were little and then died when you were 14ish so Linda "raised" you herself (mostly by sending you to boarding school).

I think having a younger sibling would have mellowed Ransom out a little bit. He's still an asshole, but not as much of one because he has someone to commiserate with over their terrible family. And I think having someone to protect would be good for him.

When the time comes, Harlan and Linda sit you down and tell you that you're engaged to Steve, whose family, for the purposes of this, is still in the movie business and still based in LA, although I think he splits his time between there and NY. They at least do you the service of telling you about the pregnancy clause.

You go straight to Ransom, who immediately takes you out to get very, very drunk. Amid all the bar-hopping, he lets you cry all over him.

The next day, while you're nursing your hangover, Ransom goes out to the house to give Harlan a piece of his mind. There's a lot of yelling. It doesn't have any practical effect on your situation, but it does make you feel seen.

Meanwhile, Steve, who is very mission-oriented and values his family above almost anything else, takes this arrangement very seriously immediately upon learning about it. I think it would just take one conversation with Sarah about how important this is to have him push down all his personal feelings (which are turbulent) to focus on doing what needs to be done.

Like in the original story, Steve and Ransom have a passing acquaintance. Ransom thinks Steve is holier-than-thou, arrogant, and must be hiding something behind his good-boy presentation. Steve is very wary of the kind of party girl the sister of Ransom Drysdale must be. This leaves both you and Steve very nervous about the arrangement.

He flies out to meet you, and you both do your best to get to know each other over dinner. It goes well enough. You don't hate each other. But he comes off as stiff and formal and makes you feel a little like you're just a mission to be completed. You leave the restaurant feeling like you still don't really know who you're going to be marrying.

You text intermittently over the next few weeks, mostly about the logistics of moving into his home. It doesn't exactly alleviate your nerves.

Ransom helps you pack up all your things. He listens as you worry out loud about all of the things you can't control. He curses both Linda and Harlan as he shares cheap beer and expensive whiskey with you. You're going to miss him so much.

The wedding goes as well as can be expected. Steve is kind to you and tells you how beautiful you look. You make pleasant small talk with him over dinner and during several dances. After, you go up to the honeymoon suite and you both immediately fall asleep.

The next day, right before you get on the private jet, Ransom threatens Steve to his face. Steve promises he'll always treat you as well as you deserve.

When you get to his house and he gives you the tour, there's one door upstairs that remains closed. He tells you that that room is private and asks you to respect that.

He doesn't want to have sex until you've gotten to know each other better. Part of you is relieved but another part is very nervous about the ticking clock hanging over both your heads. You're not sure if there's enough time for him to get as comfortable with you as he wants (and vice versa) before you contractually need to be pregnant.

After a few weeks, you're home alone, when somehow the door to his private room gets opened. Maybe you still have Lola, and she somehow gets into the room. You go running in after her and that's how you discover that it's an art studio. Steve's art is on the walls and on easels in different stages of completion. It's all so beautiful. In the center of the room, there's a breathtaking but unfinished charcoal sketch. It takes only a moment for you to realize it's of you. You're bowled over by how he sees you.

He finds you standing in front of the drawing, tears running down your face. He's embarrassed and worried that he must have offended you. He tries to apologize, but you stop him by smashing your lips into his. It takes him a moment for his brain to catch up, but once it does, he kisses you back with a passion you've never experienced before.

You have sex for the first time on the floor of his studio. It's hurried and messy and desperate. Later, he'll put you in the bed you share and take his time taking you apart, but right now, he needs to show you that that drawing is just a fraction of the beauty he sees in you.

It doesn't take long after that for you to conceive your first child of many.

Oh my god! See what this did to me?!? Just this headcanon is almost 1k! I hope that's a satisfactory answer. 🤣🤣🤣 I loved getting the chance to flip MTT on its head like this. Thank you for sending such a great question!!

[upat4amwiththemoon]

If you are taking requests. May I request Amelia X reader. Reader is her ex but they broke off( private practise , worked with Addison and all ). But reader left maybe to work abroad or the military. Fast forward now reader returns to Grey's Addison called them in , old flame,sparks . reader was always her safe place but they grew apart and had to grow(get sober). Just want Amelia to be happy, idk what the heck happened to Kai :((( I'm sorry if it's too much or silly feel free to if ore.

Somebody that I used to know

Summary: Even though years change people, the love for them stays the same.

Pairing: Amelia Shepherd x female!reader

Warnings: my medical knowledge is zero, talk of addiction, Scout doesn’t exist

Word count: 1997

a/n: Amelia deserves so much better

masterlists | guidelines

Addison walks towards the break room, hoping to find Amelia there before it’s too late. She walks into the room, luckily seeing the youngest Shepherd sitting on the couch, coffee in hand, talking with Maggie Pierce. “Amelia, could I talk to you for a minute?” She says right away, skipping the pleasantries.

With a look, Amelia stands up. “Sure.” She chuckles quietly, slightly nervous. “What’s up?” She asks after Maggie leaves to room for the two.

“I called Doctor Y/L/N here to help me with a patient of mine, she’s arriving today.” She tells, trying to gauge what Amelia’s thoughts are about seeing her ex again. “I wanted to tell you before she’s here.”

“Okay, thanks for telling me.” And with that Amelia leaves the room. Addison sighs, rubbing her forehead. Suddenly she isn’t too sure if she did the right thing, but she really needs Y/N here, she’s the best in her field. She just has to hope everything goes smoothly.

“Addison!” Y/N’s voice calls out excitedly.

The red head turns around to see her doctor friend walking towards her with a bright smile. “Hey, stranger.” Addison laughs, meeting her half way to hug her. “I’m so glad to finally see you. How was the world?” She pulls away, her hands on Y/N’s shoulders to see how much she has changed over the years.

“The world was good.” Y/N decided to leave the practice in Los Angeles to join the Doctors Without Borders, traveling all over the world with them. “How’s Seattle? I didn’t think you’d come back here.” She looks around the hospital. This isn’t her first time in Grey Sloan Memorial, but it has been a long time since she was last here.

“Seattle is good. You know I go where babies need me, and this baby needs us both.” She nods her head forward, so they start walking. “The baby is two months old and his heart is incredibly weak. He won’t survive without a donor heart, but getting a heart that small will take too much time.”

“That’s where I come in.”

“That’s where you come in.” Addison smiles, she missed working with her. “His heart could become strong enough, if you fixed the veins around it.” They walk into a room full of pictures of the baby’s heart and veins.

Y/N looks through the pictures, at times picking one of them up to see it closer. The heart is compromised, and the baby won’t survive long if they do nothing, but the surgery Addison is talking about is incredibly risky. Fortunately, Y/N is a risk taker.

“I can do it,” she states, “but I’m gonna need a lot of help. His vitals need to be monitored closely.”

Letting out a sigh of relief, Addison nods. “I’ll get you anything you need.” She pauses for a moment, contemplating on saying anything. “Amelia is here, you know? Incase you wanted to talk to her.”

“Oh.” Y/N clears her throat, cleaning up the pictures into a neat pile so she wouldn’t have to look at Addison staring at her. “I didn’t know that.” She mumbles.

The now silent and tense atmosphere of the room makes Addison question whether she made the right decision. Amelia is one of the most important people in her life, she’s her sister, but she also cares about Y/N a lot. Their relationship didn’t really end on the best terms, mostly because of Amelia’s addiction, but the relationship itself was good. They both were happiest Addison has ever seen when they were together.

“I’ll make a surgery plan and then get back to you, okay?” Y/N states, not waiting for Addison to answer as she leaves the room.

Her mind is all over the place, which makes her walk through the hallways with less attention than usually, though she does greet the familiar faces going past her. However, she doesn’t notice the person walking right towards her with the same state of mind. So, they crash into each other.

All the pictures Y/N was holding fly to the floor. “Shit, I’m sorry.” She grumbles, kneeling down to gather them.

“Y/N?”

The familiar voice makes her head snap up. Amelia is standing over her, an indescribable look on her face. The exes stare at each other in silence, both unsure what to do. They both knew of the others presence in the hospital, but they didn’t think they’d bump into each other, at least not yet.

Her breath hitches as she looks over Amelia’s face. As much as she doesn’t like admitting it, she missed her. “Amy.” With a mumble, Y/N stands up, dusting off her scrubs.

“Amelia, no one calls me Amy anymore.” She says with a small smile. Y/N just nods, putting it to her mind. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Yeah.”

Amelia scratches the back of her neck. “So, Addison called you.”

“She did.” The pictures are starting to crease in her grip. “There’s a..baby, obviously, uhm, and she needed help.” She clears her throat, looking around for an exit. “I actually have to make a surgery plan for tomorrow, so, I’ll see you around, I guess.”

Going to walk past Amelia, she stops once a hand takes hold of her arm. “Could we talk? Just the two of us, later today.”

The ask makes Y/N hesitant, but the way Amelia is looking at her makes her give in. “Okay.”

“Awesome,” a smile spreads on Amelia’s face, “coffee, after work?”

“I’ll see you then.” She lets go and Y/N walks away, Amelia’s eyes never leaving her back.

Amelia paces around the lobby of the hospital, her mind racing a mile a minute. She has always considered Y/N her biggest love, maybe even soulmate, if she truly believes in them. Seeing her again has brought the feelings back to the surface and she isn’t sure what to do with them.

Her thoughts come to a halt when she notices Y/N walking towards her. Instead of her scrubs, she’s now wearing her everyday clothes. She looks just as beautiful as she did all those years ago. And she decides to tell her so, “you look beautiful.” Y/N hums with a slight smile, her cheeks turn warm, but she pays no mind to it. “There’s a small cafe down the street.”

“Let’s go then.” As they walk side by side, Y/N bites the inside of her cheek, looking down at the pavement. The silence is uncomfortable and they desperately want to break it, but neither of them know what’s appropriate to say in a situation like this. “How have you been?” Y/N decodes to ask, glancing at Amelia.

“Better. A lot better actually. I’ve been sober for a long time, though it’s still hard sometimes. I got two new sisters, sort of,” she chuckles, “Meredith and Maggie. And I’m the head of neuro department.”

“I heard about Derek. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah.” Amelia sighs. “It’s okay.” She opens the door of the cafe for Y/N before stepping inside herself. At the counter, they order their coffees, and when it comes time to pay, Amelia pushes Y/N’s hand away from the machine. “My treat.” She pays both of their coffees.

“You didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to.” They move to the other side pf the counter to wait for their coffees. “It’s the least I can do after,” she pauses, “everything.”

“It wasn’t completely your fault.” She looks away from her. “You were going through a tough time.”

“That’s no excuse. I hurt you and drove away one of the best things in my life.”

Being one of the best things in her life sounds like an exaggeration, but the sincerity in Amelia’s eyes makes her believe she really means it. “You’re also important to me.” Before the conversation van keep on going, the barista shouts their names. They take their coffees and find a quiet corner place to sit.

“So, what have you been doing all there years?”

“I moved around with Doctors Without Borders.” Y/N sips her drink. “Also studied a bit on the side.”

“And your love life?”

If Amelia was anything, she was blunt. If she wanted know something, she’d ask, Y/N usually liked her unfiltered talk. “Love life, huh?” She giggles with a shake of her head. “There were some flings and one time things, you know, to release stress I suppose. But nothing that stayed.” Amelia listens intently while she drinks her coffee. “And you?”

She shrugs. “There was Link and Kai, but just like every relationship I have had, they ended with someone’s heart broken.” Amelia has a grin on her face. She has already gotten over the past two relationships, but it’s still disheartening to have failed relationships.

“Hm, you’ll find your person.”

“Maybe,” Amelia keeps eye contact with Y/N, “I really hope so.”

Looking down, Y/N taps the mug in front of her with her nails, all the feelings around them getting overwhelming. “Listen,” she changes the subject, “could you be in the surgery tomorrow? I need someone to monitor her brain activity, and you are the best there is.” She lifts her head to give Amelia a teasing look. “Or at least you used to be. Have you gotten worse over the years?”

“Worse? Do you know who you’re talking to? I’m better than ever.” Amelia answers to the teasing look with a challenging look of her own. “What I’m hearing is, you need my help because you aren’t in the best shape.” Her elbows are leaning against the table.

“Oh, wow.” Y/N crosses her arms. “Your ego is still sky high.”

Amelia laughs, which Y/N giggle as well.

The surgery has been going on for six hours already, and the whole room is tense. Amelia and Addison are monitoring the baby’s health, while Y/N is rerouting the veins near the heart. The surgery is already nearing its end, but there’s still things to do.

Y/N lets out a sigh, shaking her hand to ease the pain in her wrist. It has stayed on one position for a long time. She can feel multiple pairs of eyes on the side of her head, there’s an audience in the viewing room. This is an once in a lifetime surgery after all. Double checking everything she has done, Y/N lifts her head to her friends. “Are his vitals good?” The two nod. “Alright, we’re ready to close.” She says shakily, not ready to relax just yet. But she can feel the relief coursing through the room.

The sutures closing the opening on the baby’s chest don’t take long, as the wound isn’t as big as on an adult. The moment the last suture is on its place, people in the viewing room start cheering, so do the doctors in the operation room. Addison and one other doctor take the baby to NICU, not before thanking Y/N though.

Walking out of the room, Y/N slumps down to a chair, taking off her scrub cap. Amelia sits down next to her. “Watching you work is seriously magnificent.”

Y/N laughs, “you’re being dramatic.”

“I’m not!” Amelia throws her arm around Y/N’s shoulders, giving her a side hug. “You’re incredibly and I love you.” Y/N turns to look at her. “Give me another chance? Go on a date with me?”

“Okay.”

“Yeah?” Amelia grins widely.

“Yeah.” Y/N smiles too, her heart beating a hundred miles. She isn’t sure if it’s from the surgery she just did, or the fact that Amelia is looking at her like she’s the only person she cares about.

Amelia nods, feeling like she just won the lottery. “I’ll pick you up at eight, wear something pretty.” She kisses her cheek before walking off, going straight to Addison to tell the good news.

[messedupfan]

The Hope of a Free World: The Tribute

Summary: In this version of the story, you were the one chosen to go into the Hunger Games to help carry out the plan.

A/n: So a little explanation here. You do not have to read both "The Mentor" and "The Tribute" but you do have to read "The Setup." This is sort of my version of a Choose Your Own Adventure because I saw this going both ways when the request was made. You are absolutely welcome to read both versions of the story, but thought I'd let y'all know that you don't have to. I also forgot to warn y'all before but I'm a huge Everlark fan. If you stan Everthorne, not the fic for you.

Warnings: Violence, mentions of suicide, alcoholism, drug abuse, mentions of forced prostitution, rebellion, mentions of torture.

Masterlist | The Prologue | All Stories Taglist

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When the announcement of the Third Quarter Quell declared that the tributes would be pulled from the existing pool of victors, you were itching for a drink. No, you were itching for the drug you take when you have to entertain a client you don’t like. You wanted to feel numb. You didn’t want to think about having to experience the anxiety of a reaping once again. You’ve only been a victor for four years. It wasn’t fair. This wasn’t supposed to happen. 

You had tuned in only to vote on the dress for Katniss Everdeen to wear for her upcoming nuptials. Not to find out that you have a chance at dying in the arena again.

You don’t alter your mind to escape the harsh realities. As much as you want to. You made promises to take better care of yourself. Especially after almost revealing your secrets to the wrong person while in a drunken stupor. As soon as the broadcast is over, Finnick storms into your house and pulls you out. You can hear Annie’s cries from the house they shared. It was the only home in the Victor’s Village that had all of its hidden recording devices removed. He threw you on the couch as he began to pull on his hair and mutter to himself. “Mags,” he left and returned with the older woman a few minutes later. That was everyone he could trust in the district. 

Finnick doesn’t say anything coherent at first, mostly muttering to himself as his girlfriend is hysterical. He gives Annie a heavy dose of sleep syrup and he carries her to bed when it kicks in. “It’s better if she remains in the dark,” he says as he sits in front of you and Mags. She was a sweet woman, she didn’t deserve this unfair ruling for the Games either. She shouldn’t have to go through a reaping. “Mags already knows this but I haven’t been transparent with you about the rebellion. This is happening because we’re trying to free the districts.” 

“How do you plan to do that from inside the arena? Do you realize how unfair this is for those teenagers that won last year? They just got out!” You stand up, upset on their behalf. “Katniss is the only female tribute for that district! Did the rebels think about that when deciding to throw us back in there?” 

“We decided that it was in everyone's best interest that she returned to the Games,” Finnick stated calmly. 

“I find it hard to believe that girl agreed to that,” you scoffed with a scowl. 

“She doesn’t know anything about the rebellion,” he admits. “She doesn't know about any of this and for her safety, it's best that she doesn't.” 

You shake your head. You don't understand how knowing nothing keeps people safe. It looks like it's putting people in dangerously compromising positions. “Like you said I was better off I don't know anything either! Why are you even telling me about this?” 

“Sit down,” Mags demands and even with how fired up you are, you do as she says. She hardly ever demanded anything, so you respect when she does. “Listen,” she points to Finnick and with a huff, you nod. 

“I'm telling you this because I need you to be the one to go into the Games. Mags will go in as well because she is loved by so many.” Finnick maintains eye contact with you as he tells you the plan and the reason. “People in the Capitol don't care about random tributes because they don't know them. They don't see them as people until they win. They think they know us. They claim to love us. Well, we're going to make them question everything.” 

“I still don't think it's fair for Katniss and Peeta. They have worked too hard to just be thrown back in.” You shake your head. 

“You don't get it,” Finnick says as he leans closer. “Katniss is the face of this thing. What she did with those berries was inspiring. The Capitol tried to trick her and she refused to play that game. She has to be put back in there. We're hoping that Peeta doesn't land in there again, but according to Haymitch that boy is going to be determined to go. He says it's up to Effie for that one.” 

“Is Effie a part of it too?” You ask. Finnick shakes his head. “But Haymitch is,” you ask as you try to put the prices together. He nods. “Why do you want me to go into the arena?” 

“We are going to need your help to get them out of the arena. I was going to do it but with Annie… I can't risk her getting caught by Snow. I know how to get us out of there.” Finnick says with pleading eyes. 

You nod in understanding. “I have people I care about too,” you remind him. 

“Don't worry about Wanda. She can handle herself,” he says vaguely. You don't say it, but that confirmed your suspicion that she was part of it. You couldn't believe it. There really was a rebellion. The only question was whether or not you were willing to risk your life for the cause. You look at sweet old Mags, who has already committed to the cause. There was no guarantee she'll survive long enough to see the plan through. She had to have known that. This woman possibly only had a few more good years in her and the fact that was willing to sacrifice that, helped you make your decision. 

“I'm in,” you state. 

At the reaping you stood tall and confident as you think about the last night you spent with Wanda. It wasn’t an easy arrangement, as many of your clients were hoping for a last visit with you, but she was able to get you to the Capitol a few weeks before the reaping. After that night with Finnick, the two of you trained together everyday leading up to the reaping. The pair of you were already in shape but it had been ten years since Finnick was in the Games. Neither of you has had to fight since your respective times in the arena. He might not be going into the Games but he was going to need to be ready to fight when he officially became a soldier for District 13. Your head nearly spun off your neck when he confirmed that the district was alive and well. 

“Y/n Y/l/n,” the escort, Dove, reads solemnly. She had been the district's escort for the past four years, you were her only victor and the two of you had respect for each other. You stood forward, no one was going to volunteer in your place. You knew that.

“Annie Cresta,” despite knowing the plan, it shook you to your core to hear her name being called again. She had already had major setbacks since the announcement. You can't imagine what this is going to do for her. Mags promptly volunteers in her place and the three of you are off to the Capitol to prepare for the Games. 

“3… 2… 1!” As soon as the gun goes off, you jump in the water and swim to the center of the arena. You climb onto the platform and grab a trident as fast as you can. But as you do so, Katniss has an arrow pointed at you. 

You hold up your wrist to show her the bracelet of golden flames. “It's a good thing we're allies, right?” You state with a smirk. You were reluctant when they brought you the bracelet. You didn't want to go in there without your medallion but when Finnick offered to give it to Wanda, you felt more comfortable going in with the bracelet. You did after all have to gain Katniss's trust. 

She scowls at you, not dropping the arrow pointed at your chest. “Where did you get that?”

“Where do you think?” Flash from District 5 comes up behind her. “Duck,” you warn her before throwing your trident at the jerk that used to make crude comments about Wanda. You couldn't do anything about it at the time. But you weren't going to be haunted by this death. You gave Katniss directions to find Peeta and Mags as you pulled your weapon out of the body and tossed him into the water. Looking around the arena, you tried to find the tree that Finnick stressed to you how important it was. It was difficult to know which tree he was talking about because the first part of your task being difficult enough. You swear that Snow might’ve offered extra incentives and put a target on Katniss and Peeta.   

Even with the poison fog that took Mags life and the killer monkey’s that nearly killed you and the assets, you didn't regret agreeing to put yourself in this unpredictable hell hole until the jabberjay hour. You followed Katniss when she heard her sister screaming for her to make sure that she never left your sight. The both of you were relieved for a split second seeing that it was only the bird. But the history of the bird caused your heart to drop as soon as you heard Wanda crying out for you. No. How could he know? 

“Wanda!” You couldn't stop yourself from calling out to her in fear that she was dumped in the arena or worse. 

“Y/n, it's just a jabberjay! It's not real,” Katniss tried to remind you in your panic. 

“Jabberjays copy, Katniss!” You shouted back at her as you kept your eyes in the sky. “Where do you think they got that sound?” More birds appeared. More voices calling out to her than for you. For you it started with Wanda then Annie was added as well as Finnick. For an hour, you and Katniss sat together hearing tortured cries of loved ones trying to convince yourselves it wasn't real. Peeta sat desperately on the other side of the forcefield trying to ground Katniss to reality. 

When it was over, you sat in the water to comfort yourself. It was something you were used to doing back in District 4. You needed to get out of there. You were done playing these games. You needed to be in Wanda's arms, not in here babysitting. 

The plan was difficult to execute when the time came because Katniss and Peeta still didn’t trust you or Johanna. Granted, separating the two so close to the end did seem a little suspicious. But neither of them knew that they needed to have their trackers cut out and there wasn’t a way to tell them. You and Johanna knew what had to be done. You should have been prepared for Peeta to run when heard a cannon go off. Despite trying to convince him that it wasn’t a cannon for Kantinss. Peeta ran away from you before you could cut out his tracker. You looked at Beetee for too long to make the decision to run after the boy because by the time you started chasing him, it was already too late. He was gone. “Shit,” you hissed under your breath. 

You kept on searching for him but it was difficult in the dark. It was too close to midnight and if Beetee was able to fry the system on time, you needed to make sure Peeta was untraceable to the Capitol. When you couldn't find him you started to look for Johanna and Katniss in the hopes that he found them. In the time you’ve gotten to know him, it was abundantly clear to you how much he truly loved Katniss. You thought the puppy love was cute until it disrupted the plan.

“Johanna!” You shouted into the jungle but you were met with silence. So you kept running. But the arena was still active and you didn't want to end up stuck in the wrong hour. You needed to be close to the lightning tree. So you made your way back. Hoping that the rest of them were there as the agreement was to meet back at the tree. 

They needed to be there. 

Instead, you only found Katniss with her bow drawn. This was not going according to plan. Thunder began to warm the arena that the lightning was about to strike the tree they had wrapped with a wire. The fake plan was they were going to use it to electricute the other tributes by putting one end of the wire in the water. So that when the lightning struck the tree, the electricity would run through and kill anyone that was on the beach or hiding in the water. The real plan was that Beetee was supposed to throw a spear into the forcefield that kept everyone trapped in the arena and destroy it. Giving the rebels enough time to rescue the tributes inside. 

“Remember who the real enemy is!” You shout as Katniss still holds her aim at you. Haymitch told you to say that to her just in case she tried to kill you. He claimed it would help. You can't tell from the distance but Katniss develops a plan herself as she quickly wraps the wire around her arrow as lightning starts to shine from the thunder clouds. You're about to warn Katniss to get away from the tree when Peeta tackles you from behind. 

The lightning struck the tree as she let the arrow fly and you wrestled with Peeta. With a knife you tried to take the tracker out of his arm but the blast caused him to fly backwards. He had hit you pretty hard when you were beneath him. It made you dizzy when you tried to walk and find him. Pieces of the arena came crashing down making it impossible to get to him safely. You had to accept your failure in the mission as you cut out your own tracker. You screamed in agony as you dug out the small piece of technology and crushed it between two rocks. You breathed a sigh of relief when you saw the unmarked hovercraft come in to collect everyone. You made your way closer to where Katniss laid to ensure your rescue. 

That’s when a branch broke off and knocked you to the ground. 

The actual revolution was slow moving because the face of the rebellion was indisposed. Being traumatized by arena’s one after the other had a major part in why she would scream in the middle of the night. Finding out about her home district being completely obliterated because of her actions, weighed heavy on her shoulders. It didn’t help that Johanna hit her so hard in the head with the coil of wire befe she removed the girl’s tracker. Knowing Johanna she would probably claim it was the only way but you also knew that she found Katniss irritating. Johanna is not one to give up an opportunity when it presents itself. Unfortunately, that gave Katniss the ability to constantly be heavily medicated in order to heal. The medications had side effects. One of them being hallucinations. You knew because you had to deal with it yourself in the first few months after being rescued. 

The only bright side of it all was that you had been successful in acquiring both assets. So at night when Katniss would scream her head off and disrupt everyone’s sleep, it was Peeta who was the only person that had been able to get her to stop. He would sneak out of his room and slip into hers. After a few minutes, the only sounds that would be heard throughout the infirmary were the steady beats of the heart monitors. He always snuck back into his room before the hospital staff did their morning rounds. 

You were envious of them. Not everyone that needed to make it out did. For the arena, Johanna as well as a few of the other remaining tributes had been taken by the Capitol. You could only imagine what they were doing to her there. Whatever it was, she didn’t deserve it. Outside of the arena, the list of those that couldn’t escape was worse. They captured Wanda. 

The way Finnick explained it, someone must have tipped off the Peacekeepers about their plans to escape. A swarm of white armor came after them and Finnick and Haymitch wouldn’t have made it out were it not for her sacrifice. She held the Peacekeepers off of them long enough for them to get out. Neither of the men could confirm whether or not she was still alive. Last you heard, the Capitol spies they still had didn’t have an answer either. 

You hoped that they would show her on a broadcast the way they showed Johanna a couple of times. Wanda was a popular interviewer. Not as popular as Caesar Flickerman, but she was popular enough to make a comfortable living. Popular enough that her disappearance wouldn’t go unnoticed. All you could do was hope that they would broadcast her at some point.

As much as you wanted to hate Finnick for losing her in the midst of the escape, you couldn’t. Annie was amongst those captured by the Capitol. He went a little mad when he got the news. He was also in the infirmary because of a failed suicide attempt. You didn’t think his mental state was that bad until you heard his screams, begging the doctors to let him die.

When you finally got well enough to walk around and move out of the infirmary, you still spent a lot of time there. It started with visiting Finnick, tying knots together. He was only allowed a short rope to prevent him from hanging himself with it. He only spoke once to let you know, “I wish they were dead. Annie and Wanda. And I wish we were too.” You couldn’t disagree. Anything was better than the mental torment of not knowing what is happening to them. Of not being able to protect them from the horrors. 

Instead of allowing the mental images keep you down and eat you alive, you use it as a motivator. The second you were cleared for training, you worked ten times harder than everyone there. It wasn’t a difficult adjustment because your father had you enrolled in the Hunger Games training academy when you were eight years old. It was intensive training. In fact you found the District 13 military training to be light work comparativly. Which allowed you to excel. While your fellow victors wasted away in the infirmary, you got stronger and better. Because if your Wanda is dead, you weren’t going to let her death be in vain. You were going to make certain that it meant something. 

Eventually, you got fed up waiting for Katniss and Peeta to get over themselves and get to work so you started to visit with them when you weren’t training. Which was difficult at first. Every morning there was a strict schedule printed on your forearm. Every minute was accounted for in the day. It wasn’t until you had a chat with Haymitch and Plutarch that you were able to get time allotted for the visitations in exchange for filming propaganda, or propos as Plutarch nicknamed them, and getting the Mockingjay out of the infirmary. 

They wanted you to focus on Peeta first. Haymitch said he was the one out of the two that was easier to work with. That he would be more willing to help with the cause. Outside of his low list of injuries, Peeta had it pretty rough. Unlike Katniss, his parents and his brothers didn’t make it out of District 12 in time. Leaving him orphaned. He was wallowing in his grief for longer than you think he should have. The only time he ever got out of bed was when Katniss needed him at that’s it. You were frustrated as you tried to redirect his sorrow into a fire that will burn down the Capitol and all of its corruption. You understood his pain better than most. But he needed to understand why he needed to get to work so that the person responsible for his losses can be held accountable. But it was clear there was something, or more accurately someone, that could snap him into action. 

Katniss was also a piece of work in your opinion. The first time you tried to talk to her about attending a strategy meeting, she had you removed from her room. You knew that you couldn’t convince her by treating her like a fish when using a spear. You had to be more patient. You had to think of it as waiting for a fish to get caught on your hook. But patience was difficult when is came to Katniss. She didn’t have the same excuses that Peeta used. She had her sister, her mother, and the boy that was publicly known as her cousin. Unless the rumors of District 12 having an incest problem are true, you don’t believe that he is her cousin with the way you’ve seen him moon over her. There are rumors that she is conflicted between the two and you don’t know why she wastes time fooling herself into thinking she can’t choose between him and Peeta. 

You’ve gotten to know Gale a bit in training and because you live in the corridor where unmarried individuals are given living quarters, you have seen him slipping out of girls' rooms most nights. He might have feelings for the girl on fire, but he definitely isn’t waiting around for her to commit to him. You were team Peeta all the way, you liked the baker better than the hunter. He was much kinder. Plus, you and Gale tended to butt heads a lot when you started to visit Katniss because of what you know about him. 

One incident in particular secured your low opinion of him. You were visiting Katniss during the lunch hour. You had her tray of food along with yours because you intercepted it from the nurse that was supposed to bring it to her. 

“You have to make a choice, Katniss. Him or me?” Gale demanded. The poor girl was pulling on her hair when you pressed the button to open the door. “Do you mind? We’re having a-”

“You’re done here,” you said in a firm tone as you stood tall. Gale’s frown deepened as he continued to glare at you. “It’s not a request, it’s an order.” Gale knew that you outranked him and since he had just been demoted – he prevented Commander Boggs from stopping Katniss from storming out of the first meeting she attended – he knew he couldn’t push his boundaries with you. He didn’t even possess a communicuff anymore. 

With a heavy sigh, he glanced at you and then Katniss before he stormed out. You whistled, “That guy is a piece of work.” You set her tray on the table that hovered over her bed when positioned properly. The meals had no flavor but they were nutritious and filling. Designed to keep their citizens, or soldiers as you referred to them, healthy. It wasn’t great but it was still better than what the Capitol ever did for its districts. 

“He saved my family,” she muttered as she sat up to eat her meal. You scoffed. 

“Katniss, I protected your life the entire time we were in the arena,” you started, “Are you in love with me?” She chewed her food slowly before she silently shook her head. You’re surprised that she actually had to think about it. Teenagers, you thought to yourself as you got situated in your seat to start eating with her. “Hell, I gave Peeta mouth to mouth and saved his life. Has he come in here in the middle of the night and told you that he was confused about me?” You asked and didn’t miss when her cheeks flushed. Even through everything, she still had a purity to her. You’re happy that Snow never got the chance to rob her of that. 

“No,” she whispered. 

“There you go,” you stated and sat back and reflected for a moment before continuing. “You don’t owe me or anybody else anything, Katniss. I hope you know that.” She stared directly at you for a bit after you said that. It was the first time you really got to see how young she was. You knew she was young but through all of her brave actions and the makeup they caked onto her for interviews, you couldn’t really see it. No one could. That was part of the problem with the Hunger Games and the Capitol lifestyle. “Eat before your slop gets cold,” you pointed at her tray with your spork. “Trust me, you think it’s bad warm. You don’t want to have it cold.” 

She moves the food around before taking another bite. “I want to hunt,” it was the first time she expressed something you could use. 

“Tell you what,” you said as you finished your food. “You pass your health exams and I will personally arrange a hunting day for you. But I don’t think they will let you keep the game.” 

She shrugged, “I don’t mind that. I think it’ll be good to do something.”

“It’s a deal then,” you said while collecting her empty tray. You held your free hand out to her and she shook it. That began the small tradition of the two of you making small deals with each other each day. The both of you always fulfilled your promises to each other. She moved out of the infirmary at the end of the next week and into the living quarters with her mom and sister. In the middle of the week after, you arranged for her and Peeta to visit District 12. To remind them who the real enemy was. 

You opted to stay in the hovercraft in the air. Gale did the same, unfortunately. He kept trying to join her but she’d put him in his place. You were proud. Katniss came back from her mansion with, amongst other belongings, an ugly cat that she claimed was the apple of her sister's eye. You encouraged her to make her own demands with President Coin when she asked you if it will be a problem to have Buttercup with them in 13. 

Which she did. She included immunity for those captured by the Capitol and you thanked her after the announcement with a visit with Beetee. She had no idea what she did for you with that condition. In the lab, Beetee presented her with a special bow designed for her along with a small selection of special arrows. One type lights with flames and catches its target on fire. Another was explosive. And lastly, there were arrows that were charged with an electric current strong enough to give its victim a heart attack no matter where the arrow pierced them. She only needed the plain ones to hunt. 

Your propos were still the only ones being broadcast but they weren’t nearly as inspiring or as exciting as Katniss could be with the right motivation. However, they seemed to cause enough of a stir that after helping Katniss deliver a couple of heavy elks to the kitchen, you finally see Wanda on the screen for the first time in months. She’s alive, was your first thought. 

Your heart nearly stopped at the sight. She was skinnier than before. She looked as though she hadn’t slept in weeks. She had on her vibrant red wig and heavy makeup as well as a ridiculous outfit. Something she’d never have as part of her wardrobe. You went from sharing a laugh with Katniss to nearly falling to your knees in front of one of the many screens airing the interview with, “Wanda.” You said in a broken whisper.

Katniss’s eyes stopped mid roll as she realized that the woman on the screen wasn’t just Wanda Maximoff, gossip journalist that once asked her if she was popular with the boys back home. But she was the Wanda. Your Wanda. You shook your head. Hoping that it was just a hallucination. It couldn’t be real. If she was dead that meant she wasn’t being tortured. 

“Ms. Maximoff, you had quite the reputation here in the Capitol. Why risk it for something so frivolous?” Caesar asked as the camera cut to him. He looked clean and healthy, with a new dye job. It was infuriating.

“It wasn’t… I wasn’t…” she fiddled with cards in her hands and you braced yourself for the lies she was about to be forced to say. Off camera, Caesar quietly implored Wanda to continue. “I um. My emotions, they were,” tears gathered in her eyes. She was a stubborn and strong willed woman. She hated the person she had to be for entertainment. “Y/n,” she squeaked your name out. “They made me believe that we could be together. If I… If, if we…” 

“They deceived you,” Caesar tried to help her get through the script. 

Wanda shook her head ever so slightly, no one but you would be able to catch it. “Yes,” her voice was so quiet even the microphones couldn’t catch it. Caesar has her repeat herself. “Yes, I was deceived. Y/n made me believe they loved me even though they, they,” she got stuck, she couldn’t continue with the lie but for her safety, you knew she had to. You willed her to continue. “They would have relations with other people in the Capitol.” You shut your eyes tight, knowing how much she hated what Snow forced you to do.

Caesar hummed and you wanted to smash the screen in. He was one of the worst kinds of clients. He was greedy and had the strangest fetishes and kinks. It made you sick to look at him. “I see, and do you think they tried to con their other lovers into starting a revolution with them?” You scoffed, none of it was your idea in the first place. They were painting a picture as if you came up with the whole thing. 

Wanda took a deep breath and sighed through her nose. Then you saw it, she still had your medallion. It was around her neck, slightly hidden by the excessive fabrics on her dress. “I wouldn’t know,” her voice cracked. She cleared her throat and lifted her head. “I don’t think I knew them as well as I thought I did.” 

Caesar nodded, “Yes, I think we all feel that way, Wanda. I am so sorry to see you like this. You are a dear friend of mine.” His fake sincere act had you fuming. But all you could do was stand there and watch. Your worst nightmares had come to life. Seeing Wanda in pain and not being able to do a damn thing about it. “I believe you have a message for those in the districts.” Wanda nodded as she flipped through her cards. “For those who are confused by the lies that the rebels are telling. Please, speak about the generosity of the Capitol.” 

“I would um, I would like to say.” She cleared her throat again and looked into the camera. The life in her green eyes looked as though it had been sucked out. It pained you to see it. “I know that many of you might see me as a joke. That was my job. I have kept you entertained for years. You’ve brought me into your homes every day for an hour. You know my face. You know my voice. And I need you to hear me when I say,” a lost expression crossed her features for a moment. “When I say,” you shook your head as you recognized the defiance entering her eyes. You wanted her to stick to her cards. To read whatever they had written for her. “Keep on fighting until we are free!” 

There was a lot of commotion as they tried to shut the camera’s down and remove Wanda from the room. But she fought against them in an attempt to say more. Unfortunately, before she could, a Peacekeeper hit her with the butt of their rifle and knocked her out cold. 

“I have to get her out of there,” you muttered once the screen went black. You stormed out of the mess hall and Katniss followed you to talk you out of doing something stupid. But she wasn’t sure what she could say. She had her people. She didn’t know what it was like to be in your shoes. What it was like to watch the person you loved be badgered into lying about your character. About the love the two of you shared. Only to watch her possibly lose her life for the benefit of the cause. 

You weren’t the one to convince them to start a rescue mission for Wanda and the other hostages. It was Katniss and Peeta who stepped up to negotiate terms with President Coin and Commander Boggs. It started with making propos with them. Peeta was phenomenal. Katniss however… She needed a lot more help. At a certain point, Plutarch got fed up and settled for having just you and Peeta. Unfortunately, as much as the messages from you and Peeta might’ve gotten people out of bed in the morning, it wasn’t enough to get them to fight. To remind the people of Panem who the real enemy is. Haymitch was the one who pitched for the show ponies to be taken out into the field. President Coin was opposed to it but the former drunk was able to convince everyone else which allowed Commander Boggs to agree to a mission. 

In the outskirts of District 8 where they have an old warehouse is where they brought the three of you. Along with a twom man camera crew and their director, Cressida. Her assistant. Boggs. And much to your dismay, Gale. Katniss was surrounded the entire way inside of the old warehouse. No one saw her until you, Gale, and Boggs moved out of the way. Her and Peeta stood tall together. Gasps filled the building filled with injured unarmed men, women, and children. This was the first official citing of the Mockingjay. Kids ran up to hug her. Severely injured were wheeled up close to get a look at her. You could see that Katniss needed that visit as much as any of the people there. Someone asked about the baby. In the midst of everything, you had forgotten about the claim Peeta made the night before the Quell. 

You looked at him as Katniss said she lost the baby. Her voice cracking was convincing. Peeta cast his eyes down with a deep frown and you began to grow curious. Originally, you thought that it was a lie. In fact, you felt like you had to keep reminding her about her “condition” in the arena. But in that moment you questioned how much of their story was an act. Not much time could be spent there as everyone was alerted of hovercrafts appearing. The focus was to get the victors out of there. But you wanted to stay and fight. Katniss and Peeta did as well. Gale was just as ready as anyone. Commander Boggs had lost authority as soon as the hovercrafts became visible with the Capitol emblems painted on them. Katniss finally got to test out her explosive arrows. You and Peeta were in a separate area together, shooting at the aircrafts to try and redirect their attention from the makeshift hospital. Unfortunately, that appeared to be their goal. Not you. Not Peeta. Not even Katniss. 

Despite the team's efforts, those lives were lost.  Katniss gave a harrowing speech stating, “If we burn, you burn with us!” Plutarch almost crapped his pants when the footage came together for the propo. People were inspired. But Katniss suffered the losses the hardest. 

The two of you sat together in silence as she hid in your room from all of the commotion. People had been dropping off gifts at her family’s living quarters. Peeta was moved in with them once he had gotten a clean bill of health since they were technically married. Lie or not. President Coin was not going to allow questions of their credibility. “Was there really a baby?” You asked. Katniss shook her head. 

“No,” she stated. “Peeta and I never,” she couldn’t finish the sentence as she blushed redder than Wanda’s wig. 

“What about you and grumpy?” You poked fun, it was just too easy to get her flustered. You were met with a glare so you held your hands up in surrender. There was another long stretch of silence before you got curious. “The secret wedding wasn't real either, right?” 

Katniss nodded, “All Peeta's ideas.” She cracked a smile as she looked at the wall of cement in front of her. “After, when we were back in the penthouse, he asked if he needed to apologize. I told him no.” You could tell she did care about Peeta a lot. When you had to save Peeta's life, you knew you misjudged her. But you can't help but feel a bit jealous that she has him here and you are without your Wanda. You are certain about your Wanda. 

“How's the fake married life treating you?” You asked teasingly to keep a playful energy instead of wallowing in your self pity. 

Katniss rolled her eyes and shook her head. She didn’t answer for a long moment. Then she sighed and said, “Not too bad actually.” She didn’t give any details because what she and Peeta do in private she holds sacred. You could understand because you’ve never shared stories about your time with Wanda. Not that anyone would have asked. 

The day you finally got reunited with Wanda was a bittersweet moment. She jumped into your arms as soon as she saw you running towards her. You kissed her and wanted to hold her tight but you were careful. She was thin, with cuts and bruises all over her face and body. Her right arm was crooked, like it had been broken and it didn’t heal properly. You didn't want to think about what they did to her but the evidence was all over her. You kissed her as you promised that you’d make all of them pay. She asked you to marry her. 

You said yes. 

Annie and Finnick were reunited as well. You hadn’t been able to visit with him much when you centered your focus on Katniss and Peeta but he looked healthy and he was steady enough to hold Annie in his arms. 

Johanna was amongst those that were rescued. There was no one to run to her. So you, Finnick, Katniss, and Peeta all made a point to welcome her. She flipped everyone off then pressed a button that administered morphine. She closed her eyes and fell asleep, everyone had to awkwardly shuffle out of the room. 

Gale was amongst the soldiers that volunteered and were approved to go on the rescue mission. You tried to go but Katniss and Peeta were tasked to keep you busy until the team had already left. You felt betrayed by the both of them but it was nice to have them by your side as you anxiously waited. 

With Wanda in District 13, you wanted to ignore your schedule and spend all of your time with her, but you couldn't. You had to keep your status if you were going to go to the Capitol and kill the Peacekeepers that did this to her. You wanted the pleasure of ending Snow's life yourself but it was obvious that there was a plan for the Mockingjay to have the honors. 

Wanda had to undergo surgeries to correct and help her injuries heal properly.  So it wasn’t like she was waiting for you in her room. While she was in surgery, you were in training. At night, you slept in a cot that Prim snuck into the room for you. She said that she owed you for bringing her sister not only out of the arena but back to herself. You shook her hand and declared that both of you were even. 

You were the first to mention to the people in the command room of your engagement and even offered to have the wedding televised on the condition that Annie and Finnick could have a private wedding. They deserved to continue to live in peace. Finnick hadn't made a public appearance since being in District 13 and Annie didn't need to be used as a pawn in these games anymore. Wanda was the one to suggest the wedding. She wanted to show Snow that nothing was going to get you, her, or this revolution down. 

The news of the wedding spread like a wildfire. The revolution has been so daunting that the citizens welcomed the chance to celebrate something. People would whisper in your presence and you had to awkwardly nod your way through the cafeteria as you picked up your meals before walking it to the infirmary to have the meal with Wanda. 

She blew you away with her strength. 

The first time she walked into the cafeteria, a man that was walking to a table dropped his tray off at the nearest one and ran towards her. You stood in front of her to protect her but she moved you and met him halfway. “Pietro!” She shouted with joy. You felt bad as you had forgotten about her twin brother. She'd tell you stories about him whenever the two of you took a stroll together. She told you once that he'd gotten himself in a lot of trouble with the government and the price to bail him out was too high. 

Luckily, because of her minor celebrity and her family’s status in the Capitol, she was able to barter to save him from becoming an Avox. Instead, he was forced to serve as a Peacekeeper in District 12. He was ranked pretty high in District 13 on arrival, not only for his experience as a Peacekeeper but because he helped Gale get people out of 12. You couldn't believe that you had been training with him for months and neither of you had said a word about Wanda. It was probably for the best at the end of the day. Neither of you needed to distract one another with the fears and grief. 

The three of you found somewhere to sit together and you let the twins get to catch up with each other. They were separated from each other for years. You were planning on spending the rest of your life with her, you were more than happy to third wheel the meal. 

On the day of the wedding, Katniss let it slip that Peeta had a surprise cake he’d been working on for you. She was helping you get ready because you'd asked her to be part of the wedding. You would have asked Finnick if he wasn't getting married as well and if he wasn't in hiding. At that point in the revolution, his disappearance was being used as a motivator since Finnick was a loved victor. He was meant to be hidden because he was believed to be dead. 

Katniss was confused at first when you asked her to officiate. She had assumed it would be led by Coin or an appointed official. You explained that it was a tradition that the bride and groom picked the person to officiate the wedding in District 4 to give it a more personal touch and she accepted. But she wished it was Peeta you had asked. She hated making public speeches and you knew that. You also knew that she would be able to deliver something inspiring and that she knew you better than Peeta did. 

You weren't wrong, she delivered a beautiful speech about the star-crossed lovers of Panem. The victor from District 4 and the woman they loved from the Capitol. She mentioned the bravery the pair of you had exhibited and that others could benefit from following the example. She went on to express the importance of this impossible unity love and encouraged the rest of the country to follow you and Wanda into a brighter future. That although the government had painstakingly painted those in the districts to be nothing more than animalistic slaves and declared that those in the Capitol were more deserving of comfortable or extravagant lives, the two of you saw past that false narrative and fought against the mandated division and saw each other as equals. As partners willing to risk their lives for one another. Something that the people in the districts, in the Capitol, and even those working as government officials or Peacekeepers, can find within themselves to see each other as equals as well and not see each other as an enemy or an abomination. That as a country, the people can come together and stop killing for a man that doesn’t care if his citizens live or die. 

Wanda went first in the exchanging of vows, she made everyone in attendance laugh with a couple of jokes about you and the way you charmed your way into her heart. Then she vowed to love and cherish you forever. She vowed to stay committed to only you as long as the both of you shall live. She vowed that she will stand by your side in sickness and in health. Finally, she said, “We came together in a time when we were constantly being kept apart. I am ready to get to know you not as the person you've had to become for others but as the person you are. Give me your bad hair days, your long rants and conspiracies, your burnt waffles, and lost socks. Give me your every day, and I will give you my love to make it all alright. You are my every dream come true, and I can't wait for the reality we get to build together once we are free. You make me laugh, you make me think of a brighter future, and above all, you make me happy. I love you.” 

“Wow,” you gasped as you wiped tears from your face. “Tough act to follow,” you stated, which caused laughter through the guests' tears. You told the story of how the two of you met. How she was barely making a name for herself as a reporter and that you were so intrigued by her that you agreed to sell out the victors you didn't get along with to help her career grow. You stated that you couldn't even apologize because it led to this moment. Your vows reflected hers when it came to the basics. 

You sighed as you looked down at your shoes for a moment. They were Peeta Mellark's. He insisted on a trip back to District 12 to pick up a suit for you and a dress for Wanda. You tried to talk him out of it, you would have hated for Peeta or Katniss to get caught or killed just so that you looked presentable for the wedding. Katniss convinced you to let them do it. Then she explained that Cinna and her prep team left behind the wedding gown options that they thought might win just in case. Wanda joined them and found one she liked and with Katniss’s help in the woods, they found materials to make enough red paint to splatter across the white fabric. It looked like she'd murdered someone. It made her look deadly. You loved it.

“Wanda,” you looked back up at her. “As someone that did their best to remain alone to protect innocent people, you snuck your way into my heart. I feared for a long time what would come of us if anyone found out that we were more than a prostitute and their buyer. But you weren't afraid. You have taught me that two people joined together with respect, trust, and open communication can be far stronger and happier than each could ever be alone. You are the strength I didn't know I needed and the joy that I didn't know I lacked. Today, I choose to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you more fiercely with every second that slips through our hands.” Even though the two of you had exchanged the term of endearment everyday since her arrival, it was still so refreshing and freeing to finally say the words out loud. “My darling, it's with pride and joy that I take you for my wife. Together, we can weather any storm, no matter the season of our lives. I have found my forever partner. With you in my life, I could never be lonely again. I'm in awe of you, our bond, and our potential. I promise to remain in awe while I cherish you for all the rest of our days.” 

The kiss you shared was one of the most magical you'd ever experienced up until that point. The cameras were shut down as you and Wanda made it look as though the two of you left the area. Once the cameras were off, that's when the Odair wedding began. Finnick and Annie asked you to officiate. So you did. You performed the wedding, not as well as Katniss did but your friends were satisfied with it. 

Afterwards, the two were excused to celebrate on their own accord while you and Wanda were expected to continue to put on a show for the cameras. Not that you minded, you were happy to be dancing with her in front of everyone instead of in the refrigerator light in the middle of the night. It was the perfect way to show the citizens of Panem that change was upon them. 

Within the next week you were being sent to the Capitol because Katniss decided to go a bit rogue and send herself into the battle. Gale was already stationed there along with Commander Boggs after a successful mission with District 2, so she had some allies that weren't quick to turn her in. But someone else was and to save face, Coin organized Squad 451, nicknamed the “Star Squad” as she also sent Peeta and the camera crew with you, even Johanna was being sent in. The squad was meant to be recorded, not meant to get caught in any real battle. You laughed as Johanna flipped off Castor and Pollux every time they pointed the camera at her. If this wasn’t war, you would have gaurenteed that merchandise of Johanna and her middle finger would have been the next big thing in the Capitol. 

Katniss was shocked to see you there because of the new marriage but you assured her that this is what Wanda wanted. “She was tortured and nearly gave her life in order to keep this fight going,” you stated as you spun the trident around in your hand to get used to it. “Can't go back until we're free. Those are her orders,” you grinned and leaned forward. “Besides, I kind of promised her a list of heads as souvenirs from this trip,” you winked.

“Better get to work then,” she nodded once before moving away from you to greet Peeta with a hug. She also hit him upside the head which made you chuckle. He apologized for being there but it wasn't up to him. The cameras were around but they weren't focused on them so when they shared a kiss, you couldn't tell if it was for show or for them. But you looked away and your eyes ended up on a somber Gale Hawthorne. He wasn't all bad, he was starting to grow on you as you could tell that he cared the only way he knew how. But he needed to realize that he needed to move on. Then you watched as his gaze began to follow Johanna and you scrunched your features. He couldn't handle her, you knew from experience. 

The mission ran long as the group of you were faking a lot of action to get footage while being safe until it no longer could be sustained. Peacekeepers found the Star Squad and led the group into a trap that cost half of the team. Biggs lost his legs because he stepped on a landmine. He transferred over the Holo to Katniss, a device only those in charge of a squad were given. Among many other features, it could project a holographic map and pinpoint the dangers around. Pods were what they were called because they could consist of any number of dangers. Unfortunately, it couldn't update as fast as the military could install them. 

The rest of the squad fled into the nearest building but one guy, Second Lieutenant Mitchell, got caught in a deadly net contraption that sliced him into pieces. Twin sisters that went by Leeg 1 and Leeg 2 got left behind because one of them  needed medical assistance and the rest of the unit needed to get out of there. Katniss claimed that she was sent there to kill Snow and although most - if not all - of the squad knew it was a lie, the unit backed her up against Lieutenant Jackson who tried to take over as the commanding officer after Boggs died. A call was made on the Leegs behalf to the rebels base and Homes volunteered to stay with them. 

When the remaining squad members were safe inside of a home that had been cleared out is when you find out that you were dead. That all of you were dead. A mandatory broadcast showed what you knew were the Leeg sisters and Homes firing at Peacekeepers out of the building you guys had to leave them in. The building was blown up by the Peacekeepers and your face was the first one to appear on the screen along with the sound of a cannon and the music that would play for fallen tributes in the Hunger Games. You’d have clapped at their theatrics if it wasn't inappropriate. 

President Snow appeared on the screen as he began to drone on and on about a cease fire. But he is interrupted by President Coin giving an almost convincing eulogy for Katniss. You turned your attention towards her as it went on and she rolled her eyes. The Mockingjay was dead. “Congrats,” you said as you nudged her shoulder. She shook her head which made you laugh as you finished the can of tuna you had raided from the cabinets. It reminded you of home. 

From there, more people were lost as the squad tried to move through the Capitol underground in order to get to Snow's mansion. The streets were flooded with pods, it was impossible to move through them and the rooftops were too risky. Underground tunnels were the only solution. Pollux was the one to lead the unit through because he used to work there when he was an Avox. Katniss stood close to him, scanning the area with the Holo for extra precaution. 

No one was prepared for the rush of events that took place all at once. Blood thirsty mutts flooded the tunnel system. It cost the life of Homes, Jackson, and Gale. He was the last one to go. Katniss had to drop the Holo on top of him as he was being eaten alive. “Nightlock, nightlock, nightlock,” she said to activate the self-destructive feature of the device. It blew up and the unit still had to run. You were cut up all over because those mutts had sharp nails. 

As soon as you guys were out of the tunnels Peacekeepers were waiting and ready. Firing at the squad on sight. Katniss used her explosive arrows while you used the handgun you were given in case you lost your trident, which you did during the mutt fight, while the rest of the squad used their machine guns. 

As the unit ran for their lives, deadly light beams shot out at random taking Messalla, Cressida’s assistant. It turned him into dust. At the example of the danger, everyone avoided the light. Once the team crossed over a short barrier, the floor began to disappear as it was being eaten away by spikes. Everyone made it past that into the safer area of what looked like a parking garage. 

“I know where we can hide,” Cressida announced as soon as she recognized her surroundings. Everyone followed her to a store and inside a woman that resembled an exotic animal let the team hide in her basement. 

Castor and Pollux patched you up to keep you from bleeding out. You had a lot of wounds that required both of them. Katniss sat in a corner with a lost look in her eyes. She'd lost Gale and so many other people because of a lie. So many lives have been lost because of her lies. Peeta sat beside her to try and comfort her. She allowed it until you started to scream because of the crappy job that Castor and Pollux were doing at fixing you up. They were much better filmmakers and soldiers than they were medics. 

Katniss got up and came over to help them. “This is all my fault,” she whispered with tears in her eyes as she looked over your irritated wounds. “I'm so sorry,” she looked around the room. Cressida was gathering supplies from Tigris for everyone. Johanna was undressing to assess the damages done to her body. Castor and Pollux were exhausted. Peeta was also injured but he hid his injuries to protect Katniss. 

“I lied,” she said. “Coin, she didn't send me I,” she looked down at you, covered in mostly your own blood. “I came on my own. I thought I could… Gale,” she stared at you, she was lost in grief and guilt. Peeta limped over to her. 

“Katniss,” he sighed before he gave a speech about the lives in the arena that had been taken because no one had ownership of their lives. That the lives taken in this war were given by choice. Then he helped her patch you up. You were grateful to be alive after all of that. But this war still needed to end. Snow still had to die. 

And he did. 

What was left of the Star Squad stormed Snow’s mansion and killed anyone that got in their way. Snow was sitting smugly in his office chair when the unit burst through the doors. Katniss shot an electric arrow through his eye and Johanna chopped his head off for good measure. Castor and Pollux live streamed the entire ordeal. 

“People of Panem,” Katniss said to the cameras. “We are free!” 

The entire country celebrated as those left in power surrendered. 

When things settled down, Coin asked the remaining victors to vote on the possibility of hosting a symbolic Hunger Games after she appointed herself as interim president. No one knew who slipped a nightlock pill in her tea. But no one accused or questioned anyone. Most people assumed it was Katniss and those present for the meeting assumed it was you. Neither of you confirmed nor denied the rumors. 

Katniss and Peeta returned to District 12 while her mom and sister stayed in the Capitol to get better acquainted with the vast medical knowledge in order to help train others to make healthcare affordable and accessible across the nation. 

After a lot of debate, you and Wanda moved into your house in District 4. Your argument was that you had an entire mansion that you didn’t have to pay anything on and she rented a townhome. She liked her house and her life in the Capitol but none of it mattered at the end of the day. Life there was never going to be the same. So she agreed. District 4 was her home. After the hidden survaliance devices were removed from the mansion, of course. 

The two of you got to know each other in ways you never could before. You found out what a slob she could be. Wanda would forget to throw dirty clothing into the hamper. Then she'd wear all of her clothes until she ran out. You would point to the overflowing hamper when When she was done using a dish, it would sit in the sink instead of rinsing it off and putting it in the dishwasher. She was used to having a servant to take care of little things like that. Wanda found out that you were a terrible cook and that you have terrible self care habits. The two of you figured out ways to balance each other out. 

At the beginning, you and Wanda spent a lot of time together. Basking in the honeymoon phase as long as possible. But eventually, reality caught up and the both of you realized that there was still so much work to be done in terms of rebuilding the country. As much as you felt that you shouldn’t have to do more, you were still in a better position than most. So, you and Wanda figured out a way to be involved in the process of helping those who needed it most in the New Panem and opened a rehabilitation center in District 4. 

It started with a way to employ those who needed work. If you couldn’t find them a job in District 4, you or Wanda would reach out to other districts and help them and their family relocate. After several years, it grew to so much more. Now, it’s became a center that helps those with addictions, therapy to process trauma, a safe haven for those sold into marriages that they didn’t want to be in anymore, a space for those who struggled with life before and after the war. Even though you could have easily decided to coast by in life with the money you still receive and will continue to receive from winning the Hunger Games, it didn’t feel right when so many people that barely had anything to begin with, were left with absolutely nothing. 

Her brother, Pietro, decided to stay in District 12. In his time before the war, Pietro met a woman that he fell deeply in love with. Much like you and Wanda, they couldn’t be together in the way that they wanted because it could have gotten them killed. She had broken things off with Pietro just before the bombing to protect him because one of the other Peacekeepers had threatened to expose them if she hadn’t. It wasn’t until well after the war was over that she was able to find and recconnect with Pietro. 

“You Maximoffs are suckers for us simple district folk,” you joked quietly to Wanda while the two of you sat in the audience of his wedding. It was held in District 12 with the local traditions of the district. 

“Shut up,” she said as she hid her amusement and carefully dabbed her tears away with your handkerchief. She was so touched by the ceremony. She still couldn’t believe that any of it was possible. She looked at you as she reminisced about the day the two of you made history by getting married. You put your arm around her shoulder and she snuggled against you as the ceremony continued.  

While the two of you danced at the reception a little girl crashed into your legs. “Uh oh,” you said softly as you helped her up. She was afraid at first but then she smiled as she apologized. “I’m Y/n, and your name is?” You asked politely. 

“Willow,” she responded quietly and you grinned as you recognized her from the photos you have of her. Katniss sent them to you because up until now, you hadn’t been able to make a trip out to District 12. Not since a couple weeks after she was born.  

“Well, Willow, I happen to be a good friend of your Mommy and Daddy. I haven’t seen you since you were a baby,” you said as you offered her your hand. “Let’s go find them, shall we?” Willow nodded as she took your hand. Wanda watched with a deep sadness as you interacted so happily with the little girl. It was hard enough to see you around Finnick and Annie’s children. When you returned to her, she knew what you were going to ask of her and she couldn’t give that to you. She knows that she should have told you years ago, but she hoped that there would be an advanced treatment that could reverse the damage. She developed a relationship with Primrose Everdeen because she was the one who had to give Wanda the news in District 13. 

Fortunately for Wanda, you didn’t bring up the subject until the two of you were alone in the hotel room. “Willow is a cute kid, isn’t she?” You asked as you climbed into bed next to Wanda. Your wife hummed as she went over the files she brought with her. “River and Marina are pretty cool too,” you put your hand on her abdomen and she took a deep breath as she braced herself. 

“I think we should have kids.”

“I can’t have kids.” The two of you talk at the same time. 

“What?” You remove your hand as you sit up. Shocked by the reveal. 

Wanda swallowed the lump forming in her throat and she set the file on the bedside table. “I was pregnant when the Peacekeepers took me. I uh… They um,” she couldn’t stop the tears from falling as her heart broke again from reliving the horrible memories. You didn’t let her finish, you just held her tightly as your heart broke from the news as well. You had no idea that this was something she went through. Amongst the list of horrible things that happened to her when she was captured, this wasn’t something you anticipated. “I’m sorry,” she eventually said. 

“It’s not your fault,” you kissed her on the forehead and decided then that you didn’t need kids. Wanda was all you would ever need. 

That rang true. As the years went on, you and Wanda were there for nephews and nieces. The work the two of you built together was very time consuming, it left room for very little and the two of you were more than willing to make that sacrifice. Together, you might not have been able to bring a life into the world but you managed to change so many lives that it didn’t matter. The two of you lived happily together until the day you died of old age in each others arms. A gift that was once a rarity in the country of Panem. The life that you and Wanda led together wouldn’t have happened had there not been the hope of a free world. Though significant sacrifices were made, you wouldn’t have changed a single thing. 

Or would you have?

The Mentor

Taglist: @princessprudy @sayah13 @agaymilflover @awkwardmandalorian @bentleywolf29 @thatshyboy1998 @artisannat @thisischaismagic @wqndanat @madamevirgo @likefirenrain @tearsofglitter @feltlikethat @the-writer-arcane @natashasilverfox @karsonromanoff @aloneodi @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @jovialsublimecomputer @natasha-maximoff @iliketozoneout @doudouneverte @druggedduck @notbornbutforged @when-wolves-howl @lifespectator @justyourwritter69 @wandaromamoff69 @awesomelygayasf @nekoannie-chan @diaryoflife @wuwu96 @wandanats-goodgirl @sincerely-indi @blueredg52 @sisiofthemultifandom @fuzzyuniversityeclipsefriend @arcturusseer @scarlettwidow34 @chasethemoon @raven-ss @canyonyodeler @sokovianbaby @alexawynters @bittysworld @hopeless-romantic17177 @spongebobtentacles @the-ox-fan20

[danielmolloystits]

break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored (2/2)

Summary:

“Armand?” Lestat looks at him very seriously, then. “He has neglected you?” Daniel laughs, though there isn’t much humor in it. “That’s one fuckin’ word for it, sure.” “Oh, mon ami.” Lestat’s eyes are round and wet like an animal’s. “A prize such as yourself does not deserve this terrible treatment.” He shrugs. “You get used to it.” “No.” Lestat grabs one of Daniel’s hands in both of his own, making such intense eye contact with the journalist that it starts to grow uncomfortable. “You deserve better. You must understand this.” “Okay,” Daniel agrees, shifting a little in his seat. Anything to move past this point in the interaction. “I deserve better.” “Good,” Lestat says, nodding resolutely to himself. “This is why you should let me fuck you.”

Pairing: M/M (Daniel/Lestat, Armand/Daniel) Rating: E WC: ~3,200

Daniel’s first thought after his climax is that Armand is going to kill him, for real this time, and his cock is still going to be twitching from the aftershocks when he does.

He thinks it’s probably indicative of something deeply, deeply wrong with him that it makes a spark of renewed arousal alight in his gut.

Quietly, he scrambles to pull his boxers and t-shirt back on. The other two vampires don’t appear to notice.

“Lestat,” Armand says, voice devoid of any emotion whatsoever. And, wow, Daniel really gets what Louis meant when he’d described this expression as ‘half-blank, half-apocalyptic.’ “It would be a good idea for you to leave now.”

The blond just raises an eyebrow at him, still holding Daniel in his hand, still absolutely covered in the mess Daniel made. “Can you not see that I am a little bit busy here?”

Armand’s jaw is clenched so tight that Daniel can hear the creak of bone on bone. “Now.”

“My apologies, mon frère, but someone has to ravage your fledgling, and if you’re not going to do it—”

In an instant, Lestat is flung off of the bed and into the wall at speed, the plaster buckling from the force of the impact. Daniel is grateful, suddenly, that their team sprung for a nice hotel; if this were a Motel 6, Lestat would be clean into the next room, easy.

“Guess we’re not getting our deposit back,” He says, because he can’t help himself. Because he’s never had even an ounce of self-preservation. Armand’s eyes cut to him briefly, his irises vibrating like a dragonfly’s wings, and Daniel’s stomach bottoms out. Mostly from fear.

Lestat, meanwhile, huffs a pained laugh and stands. “Well, I can see when I’m not wanted,” he says, his hands spreading in a gesture of appeasement. “Monsieur Molloy, do you mind if I borrow your room for the evening?”

Wordlessly, Daniel tosses him the key card.

“Merci, darling.” Lestat bows, then begins to take his leave. He pauses, however, as he passes by Armand, swiping two fingers through the stickiness that decorates his cheek and presenting them to the other vampire. “Parting gift?”

A muscle above Armand’s lip spasms in an aborted snarl.

“Fine then,” Lestat says with a shrug, popping the digits into his mouth instead and grinning once they’ve been sucked clean. “More for me.”

Then, he exits, closing the door soundly behind him, and Daniel and Armand are alone together for the first time since...well, since.

“So,” Daniel says, drawing out the vowel sound sarcastically as he sits up against the headboard. “The last time my dad walked in on me with a boy was a pretty long while ago—I forget, are you supposed to ground me now, or do we just pretend it didn’t happen and never bring it up again?”

Armand opens his mouth to speak, but Daniel doesn’t let him.

“Or is this more of an infidelity situation? Because I’m gonna be honest with you, Armand: I didn’t realize we were together. On account of how you fucked off immediately after turning me.”

“You’re angry with me,” Armand says, and it’s insane how quickly he melts from predator back into prey, all slumped shoulders and big, wobbly doe eyes.

“You think?”

The other vampire isn’t meeting his gaze, his own fixed somewhere on Daniel’s cheek like he can’t bear to look straight at him. “I didn’t want you to hate me. For what I did to you.”

“And you thought abandoning me to figure this shit out by myself was a good way to prevent that?” He asks, incredulous. “News flash, Amadeo: it wasn’t.”

“I’m here now,” Armand points out—hopeful, fragile, as though he’s afraid the words will shatter in his mouth if he isn’t careful.

“Yeah, and why is that?” Daniel asks, lacing it with all the righteous indignation he can muster. But despite his best efforts, he finds himself losing steam in the face of Armand’s complete and utter supplication. “Don’t tell me it’s because you’re into me.”

The other vampire finally looks at him head-on, his eyes piercing straight through to the core of Daniel. To the knot of uncomfortable, complicated feelings that sits just beneath his breast. “Is it really so difficult to believe?”

“Kind of,” He says, reflexively shifting under the weight of Armand’s stare. It’s ridiculous, he thinks, how easily the man sets him off-kilter. How easily he comes in and turns Daniel’s life upside down, as though it’s nothing to him.

Armand stalks towards him slowly, then, managing to appear at once like the nervous rabbit and the cat hunting it from the bushes. Like both the thing to be eaten and the one doing the eating, like both the consumer and the consumed. He approaches the bed until he arrives at the edge of the mattress, sitting down delicately atop it and never once looking away from Daniel as he does. His expression is painfully open; achingly earnest.

“You have no idea the things I’d like to do you,” he says, and Daniel understands why he was so cautious earlier, because the words come out cracked and fractured, the edges of them sharp enough to cut.

(Belatedly, Daniel wonders when exactly his life turned into a trashy harem romance novel. He thinks that maybe he ought to be more upset about it.)

“Hard to know when you don’t tell me,” he replies, his voice a lot rougher than it was mere moments ago. It’s humiliating, he thinks, the obviousness of his desire. The fact that he even still wants the fucker after all the shit he’s put Daniel through.

Armand slides the rest of the way onto the bed, crawling forward on his knees until his body cages Daniel’s from above. His gaze falls to Daniel’s lips. “I could tell you now, if you wanted.”

And he is simply too weak to say no to that, so instead he murmurs, “Yeah,” his hand reaching up to tangle in Armand’s hair. “That might be good.”

Armand ducks his head down to lay a kiss beneath the sensitive skin of his ear. “I want to claim you,” he whispers, before dragging his tongue over the spot his lips just brushed, “I want to make you mine.”

Daniel gasps, his fingers tightening in the silky black curls. “What else?”

“I want to taste you.” As he speaks, he grazes the tips of his fangs down until they rest at his pulse point. “I want your blood to fill my mouth; I want to stain my teeth red with the very life of you. I want to memorize how it flows over my tongue.”

“Is that all?” He means it to sound cool, nonchalant, but the attempt is belied by how each exhale grows quicker and quicker with every teasing touch.

“No.” He can feel Armand’s smile pressing into his neck. “I also want to fuck you,” he starts, his hand snaking down to palm at Daniel’s hardening cock through his underwear, “until you forget the name of every other person who has ever touched you.”

Daniel moans, hips canting into the contact; Armand rewards him by firming his grip. “Okay,” he says airily, as Armand licks a filthy line back up his throat. “I can agree to those terms.”

“Say it, then,” Armand orders, stroking his thumb over where the head of Daniel’s cock tents his boxers. “Say you’ll belong to me.”

If Daniel were any less turned on right now, if the scent of Armand wasn’t filling his nose all earthy and sweet like honeyed cloves, then maybe he could respond with something snarky. Maybe he would be able to say no. As it is, he rasps, “I’m yours, Armand,” as fervent and breathless as a desperate prayer. “I’m yours.”

Armand kisses him then, hot and raging like a wildfire. It sucks the air from his lungs and replaces it with burning smoke, lights every nerve ending in his body aflame. It consumes him, destroys him, unmakes him and reduces him to smoldering ash in the shape of the man he used to be.

What happens after that is a blur, soft and surreal like a hazy memory: Armand strips Daniel and takes him into his mouth, painting over the places Lestat kissed with his tongue until his spit is all that remains. He writes his name into Daniel’s skin like a promise, like a brand, like he plans on doing it to every inch of Daniel until he’s covered in reminders of Armand’s existence.

Then, once Armand has him reduced to a wanting, whimpering mess, he pulls Daniel into the cradle of his arms, spine to sternum, and fucks into him as though he’s trying to make a home for himself in his lover’s body. As though it isn’t enough for Armand to claim his lips or his throat or his skin; he needs to mark Daniel’s insides, too, his guts and his organs and the viscera that holds him together.

When Daniel comes, Armand’s fist wrapped around him and Armand’s cock buried deep in his ass, it is a revelation. It is an epiphany. Armand follows him shortly after, clutching him close and tight and perfect.

Daniel doesn’t think he ever intends to let go again.

After Daniel’s had enough time to recover and he can be sarcastic again, he jokes, “If I had realized that fucking Lestat would bring you back, I’d have done it a lot sooner.”

Armand looks at him with an exaggerated pout. “Hm. That’s no good.”

“What do you mean?” he asks.

Then, the other vampire is climbing back on top of him. In between kisses, he murmurs, “You still remember his name. We’ll have to remedy that.”

And, well. Daniel’s not about to argue with him.

[legendofmorons]

How to fall in love twice part 7

Pairing: Malon x Time x reader

Rating: G

Summary: While you and Malon go on an unofficial coffee date, Time finally has some sense knocked into him thanks to Wild, Warriors, and Legend.

Warnings: N/A

Other: If I missed anything, please let me know

-------

The third day in modern Hyrule begins with the delightful experience of introducing Malon to modern coffee shops. Which is certainly worth it.

However, first, you get a nice shower. With your hair routine, proper soap, any shaving you might choose, and the ability to have hot water. It's glorious, and you are thankful for running water.

Malon takes a shower as well, still confused about modern shower products, but delighted in the effects! She likes that there are so many options. She also adores the hot water since she doesn't have to heat it herself.

Malon has delighted in modern clothes, a sage colored cable knit sweater, and dark jeans are her chosen outfit today.

How the fuck is she so pretty all the time? It should be illegal.

You need to focus on the things going on. Not on how pretty Malon is.

You also need to introduce her to milkshakes. You think she'd like them. But that's for later.

For now, you focus on getting your wallet, keys, and any other items you need for a city outing. You glance at the deity mask sticking our of your bag.

You find both comfort and worry in the presence. The mask has the markings that Time bears. And yet it feels unlike him at all.

You shake your head to dispel the thoughts. There's no use dwelling on those things.

Your time is much better spent on other things. Like kicking ass or spoiling the gorgeous red head you're with.

You lead Malon into the local coffeeshop midmorning. The crowd is not dense, but there's quite a few people there anyway.

Mostly, it's college students who take residence in the establishment.

You both look over the menu, and once you've explained the new drink concepts to her, you both step up to order.

"Welcome to Cuthulu brews. What can I get started for you?" The barista at the counter asks with a smile. Their eyes look dead, though. Classic customer service jobs, sucking the life out of people.

"Can I get a mocha but like - not taste the coffee?" Malon asks.

"Uh- maybe?"

"Why don't you get a shot of espresso in you hot chocolate." You suggest lightly.

"I can do that?"

"Sure, you want hot chocolate with one shot?"

"Yes, please."

"What size?"

Malon looks to you, unsure but excited.

"Large, please." You decide, that'll be more chocolate to hide the coffee taste in.

And really, you think you both deserve nice things after the hell you've been through lately.

You don't know what you'd do without Malon. Ignoring your feelings for her she's still been such a help and pillar of support.

"Awesome, can do. And for you?" The barista turns their attention to you.

You order your drink, along with two breakfast pasteries. You want to make sure you and Malon are both eating well enough.

You pay and leave a tip.

While you and Malon wait for your order, she seems to be buzzing with excitement.

"You're more chipper today, good dreams or something?" You ask with a smile.

The smile she turns on you is dazzling, "Sort of. I'm just glad I'm with you mostly."

"Oh, that's sweet. I'm glad I'm with you too, Mal." You smile and then feel silly using the nickname you've only heard her husband use. "Sorry, uh, the nickname is probably weird."

Malon just shakes her head, "Not really! I like hearing you call me that."

"Oh. Okay." You smile, trying not to read into any of this.

But over the time spent with Malon- your crush has definitely become bigger. And you are a lot closer to in love than you should be.

After collecting your drinks and breakfast, Malon leads you to a window table to sit at. Her mood is the highest it's been in a while.

It's good to see her happy.

"You said you wanted to show me something called - a wifey?"

You nearly choke. "WiFi. Wifey is something different."

Malon laughs, but she looks like she said the wrong thing on purpose. But that's got to be wrong.

(It's not wrong. She's teasing you.)

"You're probably right." She says before taking a sip of her drink.

You just resign yourself to a few bites of breakfast pastry. You need a moment. Just to get your mind up and running again.

"So, if we're in your time, don't you have someone to check in with?" Malon asks as she looks you over.

She does that a lot. Why's she always looking you up and down? She's not checking you out. That's just silly.

(She is checking you out. And she thinks it's rude you keep trying to stop yourself from returning the attention.)

"Not really. I'll be gone again soon so it'd just upset them." You say simply.

Because really the longest you've stayed in any time is a week since you got pulled away from the chain. So why bother upsetting people?

"I guess. But I'd want to hear from you."

You laugh, shaking your head. "You're sweet to me."

Malon makes a face, as if amused and exasperated. She does that a lot when you try to wave off her compliments.

"(Y/n), sweetie, you're a lot better than you give yourself credit for."

"Oh. Uh- thanks."

She just smiles, and sets a hand on your hand. "I mean it. You're going to make whoever you end up with very happy ome day."

She has a weird tone, and you almost think she wishes she was who you end up with. But that's ridiculous and probably not right.

"Thank you."

-------

Time is having a very bad time. Since he saw you and Malon, he's been torn up inside.

On one hand, you're both alive!

On the other hand, you're still who knows where facing threats he can't protect you from.

What a great time.

"You need to eat." Wild says as he pushes the shepard's pie into the old man's hands.

Time looks at him, blinking. Right. Food. He does need sustenance.

"Thank you." Time manages.

Wild just sighs, shaking his head. "You're disrespecting both of them by thinking they're gone."

"I don't - I don't think they're gone... I just think I'll never see them again."

Wild just levels a stern look at Time. He's not paid enough for this. He isn't paid at all, actually.

He will have to talk to Hylia about labor laws. She needs to hear from his union.

First, he needs a union, actually. He'll have to ask Legend for help there.

"What?" Time manages with a strangled edge.

"You're being entirely too pessimistic. Everyone thinks we'll see them again. Even Legend. So are you going to snap out of it?"

Time blinks again, confused and unsure if he should be offended. He's just being realistic!

Right?

"Don't give me that realistic spiel. Stop making things out worse than they are."

"I'm not!"

"We saw them three days ago. They were alive without any immediately fatal injuries, and they were both standing on their own. So unless they've started throwing the same pity party you are, they're fine."

"I'm not throwing a pity party."

"Call it what you want, but you're being too seal-ious."

"You did not just make that pun."

Wild just grins. There is nothing like puns to make people listen to you.

"Is he done making the worst assumptions?" Warriors asks as he makes his way over.

"I don't know. Time?" Wild turns expectantly to the old man.

Time just sighs. "Yes. We need a plan."

"We have a plan." Warriors says, as if it should be obvious.

"Since when?"

"An hour after we saw them. Some of us have been getting shit done." Legend adds helpfully.

"Legend." Warriors sighs. Though he dosen’t seem too far away from the sentiment.

"You didn't tell me?" Time asks, sounding genuinely upset.

"The only people who can pull you out of your spirals consistently are the reason you're spiraling. We tried." Pegend tolls his eyes.

"You're not the only one who misses then, Time." Warriors sits beside Time gently. "You may know Malon the best, but we all like her."

"And we all love (Y/n). Not the way you do, but they're one of us." Wild says firmly, "Twilight is barely keeping it together. You know he hates losing loved ones to portals."

Oh.

Time realizes he's really been disconnected. Of course, everyone else misses you and Malon.

He didn't even think about how the others might feel.

Shit.

"I'm sorry." Time says as he looks between his three companions. "I haven't- been present latley."

"We'll forgive you, this time." Wild gives a little grin, "Just don't get lost in your gear again."

"Deal."

[secret-smut-sideblog]

Strawberry Wine

(AA break up series, part 10! can be read alone, this one's mostly porn tbh)

Gale x F! Tav / Ascended Astarion x F! Tav

18+ tenderness, domestic bliss, grinding, lap dance (kind of), counter sex, breast worship (m!), p-in-v, prostate stimulation, confessions of feelings, confrontations, sex as a tool, handjob, oral (m!), sub/dom

The decision to dethrone the Ascendant at its precipice, Tav enjoys some much deserved domestic comfort with Gale. But time is running out and she must meet him one last time...

Masterlist, Prev Chapter

-

She took a steadying breath, staring down the patch of soft grass.

It's just a front handspring, something she's done countless times. Surely, her body will remember. A modified one shouldn't be too difficult, right?

Leaning forward, she pulled into a handstand, legs swimming slowly above her in a testing motion.

Lifting one hand onto fingertips, she centered her tension into her shoulder. Okay, that's promising.

She rose back on feet and huffed out a breath. Pressing the knuckles of her left hand into her lower back.

Taking a running start, she bounced once and planted her hand on the grass, legs arcing over her head. Dismounting somewhat gracefully.

"Ha!" She barked, victorious.

"By Elminster's Beard, Tav!" Gale shouted, rushing outside. Wiping his hands quickly on his apron. "It's only been two weeks! Be careful!"

"Oh I'm fine. Tara's watching!"

His eyes darted incredulous to the little tressym sitting attentively on the stone bench.

"She's quite impressive, Mr. Dekarios. Did you see the flip?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose, hand on hip.

"Yeah, did you see the flip?" Tav bounced excitedly.

"No, I did not. And even without the orb I don't know if my sensibilities can take that presently."

He ushered forward, smoothing hands along her back, her stomach.

"I'm really okay, Gale. Don't worry." She smiled, nuzzling into his beard.

He sighed wearily. Planting a soft kiss on her temple.

"I was coming to tell you dinner is ready, you menace."

"Oooh, yay!" She chirped.

They could both feel eyes on them from the treeline, a near constant sensation at this point.

He hadn't approached since her venom spouted that night at the barrier. But she knew he was always somewhere nearby, even if only in thrall's watching ceaselessly.

She had taken to ignoring it, but it still made Gale bristle.

He really doesn't let up, does he?

She smiled, letting him lead her inside by the small of her back. Tara trotting between their feet.

Right? You'd think he'd have better things to dedicate time to. Like being a Lord.

Gale snorted, shutting the door decisively behind them.

"Oh it smells heavenly in here." She sighed. A tangy spiced flavor floating in the air.

"Something I've made many times, but never for someone else. Never for you." He led her to the counter.

"Ohh, gyros!" She bounced on her heels excitedly.

"Oh good, you like lamb." He laughed, clearly relieved.

"I could fuck up some lamb anyday, I promise you that."

They ate together on the plush couch, him telling her about a stint in his youth at Blackstaff. Her listening rapturously, nodding and licking sauce from her fingers.

It was everything she had been missing, a comfortable bliss. His hand resting on her ankle, his food temporarily forgotten on the low table as he animatedly talked, his brown eyes dancing with mirth. Getting to a particularly juicy part of his story.

She felt a great swelling in her chest.

He had started Weaving unconsciously, little trails of blue light leaving his fingers. Something she noticed him doing when he got really invested in an activity.

She was smitten with him.

Leaning forward, she kissed him.

He startled, then quickly leaned into her. His Weaving fingers caressing against her hip.

"Sorry, you're just so kissable." She laughed, pulling back slightly.

"Mmm, I'll consider your apology. Interrupting my very thorough tale of mischief." He hummed, fingers kneading into the plush of her thigh.

He was obsessed with her hips, thighs, and ass. His hands seemed to have a magnetic pull to them. Catching him staring hungrily at her backside, eyes sliding away innocently when she would turn.

With a mischievous grin she realized he hadn't seen her dance yet.

"I'm going to go bathe, acrobatics do leave you sweaty." She kissed his jaw, beard scratching her. "Dinner was incredible. That was honestly one of the best meals I've had in a long time."

His ears flushed, and he cleared his throat, a small smile flitting across his face. Gathering their plates. "Well, thank you. It's quite a simple recipe, I can make it again if you'd like."

"I'm going to hold you to that. Among other things." She purred, turning to shoot him a salacious smile over her shoulder.

She heard the plates clatter and hid her smile behind her hand, turning down the hall with a little spin on her heel.

The enchanted lights hanging in air, the gentle sounds of insects calling for one another in the night, she wandered into the kitchen.

Securing her hair towel she reached into the ice chest for a drink, humming along with the enchanted music playing low. A slow winding beat, unconsciously rocking her hips to it.

Draped in just his sleep shirt and cozy socks, she found her prize and made to close the chest.

Hands snaked around her hips, a body pressing against her backside.

"Well, hello." She purred, smiling mischievously.

She swayed her hips, popping open the drink and taking one nonchalant pull.

How had Karlach put it when they had gone out dancing once she got touch back?

"How do you do that? It's like your hips are on a swivel!"

He gasped as she swirled figure eights with her hips, lifting and dropping them.

She could feel his erection growing as she moved, biting her lip in a smile.

He was silent behind her, completely entranced.

She body rolled in half time to the music. Serpentine, a waving ribbon of sensuality.

His fingers dug into her hips, starting to rock in time with her. Grinding into her ass.

Oh this was too much fun.

Just to tease him, she leaned on her knees and vibrated her hips.

That broke his trance, letting out a guttural groan.

His mage hand shot past her ear, pushing the contents of the counter onto the floor, two more gripping under her hips spinning her and lifting her onto it.

His mouth laced into hers, his hand gripping her hip flush with him still.

The heat between them felt primal. Speaking only through pulsing moans and heat slick fingers. Mouths love swollen and seeking.

She was already soaking wet, pulling at the ties of his sleep pants. Leaning down and taking one of his nipples in her mouth.

He whined as she swirled her tongue, nibbling down. His hips rocking hard into her.

She freed his cock from its fabric cage, already leaking precum. Lined him up with her entrance.

He shuddered as she pushed slowly into him, rolling her hips.

She switched to the other side of his chest, suckling the peak into her moaning mouth.

His hips were already slamming into her, eyes clenched shut. Panting breath a miasma around them both.

She reached under him and rolled her fingers into the place under his cock. Laving her tongue up and down his chest.

His eyes shot open, then went into the back of his head.

His whole body tremored as he gasped out indignant whimpers. Gripping into her hips like a lifeline. His head falling forward as he braced down.

She could see every strike of his release hit him as he winced, nearly looking to be in pain.

He turned his head to the side almost in shame as he flooded her cunt.

She pulled his face back to hers, pulling his bottom lip into her teeth.

His hand shot forward to brace on the cupboard, a heightened wave striking him so hard that she felt his body start to buckle.

He finally collapsed into her shoulder, gripping onto her back. Heart hammering so hard she could feel it against her chest.

She scratched in parallel lines along his scalp, wrapping her hips around his lower back.

She slipped off of the counter and pulled him to the floor with her. The cold tile welcome against her legs.

He folded into her and softly sniffled. A spreading dampness on her collar where his eyes rested.

She hushed and cooed, pulling him fully into her body with her bent legs.

They didn't have to speak through mouth or mind. Just washing each other over with what they felt.

His longing, loneliness, a bone deep gratitude, reveling. But with a strike of fear. Yearning for lost time. Things now held but ultimately missed.

Her soft warmth, wrapping around him. The puddling relaxation she felt with him. Some thorn laced anxieties underneath, but all she sent him was velvet touch. Adoration.

"I love you." He murmured, almost painfully.

She thought she might too, but she felt that rise of fear. Those vampire shaped thorns rising higher and twisting.

"I know." He said softly the sensation washing over him. "Take your time, you can catch up with me."

He curled his head against her shoulder, holding her between her shoulderblades. "This is more than enough for me now."

Now she was crying, a hiccup caught in her throat.

She thought about the last time she had been back pressed to wood and crying on the floor.

He felt that and nodded into her, agreeing that this was much better.

Laying awake she stared at him, turned on her side in the bed.

He slept like a stone, totally knocked out from their heat earlier.

She smiled at him, twisting his hair behind his ear. The slow smile that crossed his sleeping face when she touched him.

Gods she desperately didn't want to leave the cradle of his bed, but she had one last chance tonight.

Slipping out of his arms his sleeping form whined and reached for her.

"I'll be back soon, love." She murmured, kissing his hairline.

Pulling a dark blue robe off of the dresser, she wrapped herself and trotted downstairs.

She slipped on shoes, and heard Tara pad up behind her.

"Late night wandering, Mrs. Dekarios?"

Tav cheeks heated. Nearly dropping the shoe she was pulling on her heel.

"Tara, please. We are not even close to married." She admonished to Tara's little spinning body around her feet. Looking up at her with far too knowing eyes.

"I need to step outside for a moment. If Gale wakes tell him I'm safe."

"You're going to try one last time, I wager?" She sighed in a resigned and disapproving but ultimately supportive way.

"I at least owe him that." Tav sighed.

She shut the door gently behind her, heading for the woods behind the tower.

As soon as she reached the barrier, he was already there. Standing expectantly, smiling in that preening way with hands behind his back.

"Hello, Astarion." She stopped just short of the wavering magic separating them.

"Hello, my sweet. What do I owe this late night meeting?"

"When we were together..." She saw him bristle at the word were, but caught himself. Smoothing back out into that fluid smile.

"Did you ever compel me? And please don't lie, I don't have time for it anymore."

She heard Mephistopheles' cackle of agreement behind her but didn't bother turning, knowing it to be an illusion.

"No, I never did. Don't you think I would have made you my spawn already if I had?"

He made a good point.

"Why?"

"Why, what pet?"

"Why didn't you?"

He seemed to look in himself, his posture turning and pulling in just like it used to when he really considered something.

Just that little mannerism made her heart ache.

"I honestly don't know. It just seemed... wrong."

She stepped forward, the thread that tied her heart to his reeling her in.

Then he scoffed, walls rising again. "And naturally, beneath me. As if I need to compel others to get what I want."

She stopped short. Frustration snapping a band against the back of her head. They were getting nowhere.

She pushed past the barrier and saw the shock in his eyes. Backpedaling as she drew closer.

"Fine. We can talk in the only way you know how now." She dropped her robe, pooling at her feet.

His wide eyes drank her naked form for a moment, darting up to her eyes. Confused.

That was promising. She stepped forward, closing the distance between them.

Pressing her lips into his, she cupped his cheeks. Trying to remember how she used to feel in these moments with him and pouring it out over his body.

For a moment, she wished she had the mind meld she had with Gale here. But quickly realized that would be a disadvantage in this situation.

He pulled her hard into his body, groaning as her tongue danced along his.

She was here for information ultimately, needing to be sure her sacrifice would even work. If there was still enough of him left she still had a chance.

Closing her eyes, she went back into her body's memory. How she touched him then. When he still loved her.

She hooked her fingers into the waistband of his trousers, pulling him further into her. Lips falling to the unmarked side of his neck. Moaning out as she pulled and lapped at the marble column of his neck.

A shudder pulled through him and she rewarded it by rocking her hand against his bulge.

"Fuck," He hissed, holding her by the hair to his throat.

She moaned. Encouragement. Reaching inside his finely tailored trousers.

His cock met her hand with a welcoming throb. Already a pillar, sitting up against his belly.

She spat down his front, the trail meeting her hand. Working him in her tight fist, looking in his eyes to see his reaction.

His head fell back, then came back down, eyes lidded. That old face he used to make when he was, in his words, 'fuck stupid'.

She smiled, pulling his shirt open. Revealing the plane of his chest.

His nipples were already hard, standing at attention.

"If you stay nice, I'll let you finish in my throat."

He nodded, his body oozing need.

Her tongue met his nipple, swirling it into her mouth.

"Ah!" He gasped, pulling her head to him harder. Cock throbbing in her hand.

Slick began pooling between her legs. This was a strategic move, but Gods if her body didn't call for him. Too much shared time of bodies sliding against one another to remain impartial.

She kept working his chest, doing that pulsing suckle that used to make him squirm.

He reacted just as she hoped, twisting against her. Breath all panting and hitching moans.

Hand already soaked in his precum she sped up her strokes then slowed to a glacial pace. Leading him to the edge then pulling him back.

"Fuck, please. Ugh!-" He groaned loudly as her teeth nibbled down. "Your throat. Let me."

His words were all cut sentences, just like before. Struggling to get a coherent thought out.

Dropping to knees she pulled him free, unsnapping the button.

She couldn't give him time to get his bearings so she opened her throat.

His length disappeared entirely into her mouth, lips meeting his base.

"Gods!" He choked.

Suctioning her lips down she began bobbing her head. Doing the last trick she remembered pulled him apart.

She undulated her tongue against his underside while humming. Gripping his hips to keep him in place.

He nearly buckled, head falling back. Panting up into the night sky.

His hand gripped into her hair, but didn't direct it.

That was it, that was what she was looking for. If he could have her like this and not take control, there was still some piece of him left. Steeling her resolve tenfold.

Alright, time to finish up.

She pulled his trousers down enough to slip her hand underneath, pushing one finger inside him. Curling towards his navel. Pressing swirling circles into his prostate.

"Fuck!" He did buckle then, head falling forward. Knees shaking.

That telltale tremor spread from his center and she braced for him.

Just for her own petty enjoyment she looked up at him that way he said made him crazy. Eyes wide and pleading.

His eyes met hers and he was gone.

Hot fluid shot down the back of her throat as she held open for him. Finger inside milking him for even more, mouth sucking hard.

He nearly sobbed, a tapestry being unwound. Gripping onto her hair, her shoulder, for dear life. Fingers surely leaving a bruise.

He started to collapse as she still bobbed her head, another pulse of fluid pouring down the back of her throat. She wrapped strong around his thighs with her free hand. He's not getting away that easy.

He was shuddering so hard, making her purr in accomplishment.

As the last of his spend gushed out she pulled away, swallowing. Looking in his eyes decisively as she did.

He fell back onto the soil, looking at her wide eyed. A question seemed to dance on his eyes, but she wasn't here to answer.

Rising on feet, she grabbed Gale's robe and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

"See you soon, Starlight."

She turned and stepped back into the barrier, wrapping the ties around her waist. Not looking back.

Returning to the arms that she desired, that she deserves.

~

Final Part