#but maybe you should prioritise your health a bit more

[randomsketchdump]

It took around 5 hours but finally A finished drawing of Arkham Knight Scarecrow!

I decided to do this less styled and follow the games style more, but I still put my own twist on it!

[forgetfulminks]

Guide to Prioritising

I saw a post about this and I disagreed with some of the things they said in the post, so I wanted to make my own! While I disagreed with some of the stuff in it, it's still a really helpful guide and you can read it here if you want to.

Sometimes, you have unproductive days where you just procrastinate, and that's ok. You are not pathetic or lazy for doing that. Procrastination is usually a sign that you are overwhelmed and burnt out, which means you probably need to take a break. But what do you do when you really need to finish an assignment for school or a project for work and you still want to procrastinate? This is where prioritising can help you! Figuring out what needs to get done first and what things can wait can decrease your overall workload. So, here's how to do it:

Step 0: The Non-negotiables

These are things you need to remember to prioritise above anything else. These are things that people forget about sometimes, especially in times of stress.

Sleep

Drink water

Eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner (don't just have little snacks, you need at least 2-3 proper meals)

Take breaks - you need to take breaks as you're working. You can use the pomodoro method if you want, or something else. I like to do 1-2hrs of work and then a 30-40min break.

Make sure that you prioritise these first! Now that we have that out of the way, let's begin with step 1.

Step 1: What are the most important things?

Figure out what things need to be done now and cannot be put off. These are things that need to be done today, tomorrow, or within the next 3-5 days. If you want to write a to-do list, these are the things that should be at the top and should be done first. It might be a bill you need to pay, it might be some homework you need to do, it might be a test you need to study for, or an email you need to send. Whatever it is, start with these things, do them first, get them out of the way, and that will relieve a lot of your stress. If it's something big that will take a lot of time, then that might be the only thing you do today, and that's ok. Whatever it is, make sure you get it done before you even start thinking about anything else.

Step 2: What are things that need to be done soon?

After finishing the immediate things that need to be done, you can start thinking about the things that are coming up. These are things that need to be done in 1-2 weeks. You can either start it if you haven't already, or write a plan on how you are going to finish it. I personally don't like to plan out how I'm going to finish something, I prefer to just start and do a little bit every day, but everyone is different. The point is to at least start thinking about it to avoid stressing in the future.

Step 3: What are the things you can let go?

After doing the things you need to and starting the things that are coming up, you can now figure out what things can wait for later. These are things that are not urgent and can be put off until later, or things that are due in more than 3 weeks. I know that when you're stressed, your brain wants to worry about every little thing possible. But after you do the big things, then you can think about what is actually important and what isn't. For example, if you're worrying about doing your laundry, ask yourself if it really needs to be done now or if it can be done later. If you usually go to the gym and you're stressing about it, maybe that's a sign that you need to take a break from it today so you can focus on other things. If you're stressing about an assignment that's due months from now, remind yourself that you have a lot of time and you don't need to be worrying about it now. However, if you try to put these things out of your mind and you still find yourself stressing about it, maybe that's a sign that you need to start it or do at least a little bit of it just for your own mental health. Sometimes when we try not to worry about things we worry about them even more. This last step is meant to help you stop worrying about the little things, and if your way to do this is to get them out of the way, then you can do that! Just make sure you don't burn yourself out by doing too many or use these little tasks to procrastinate on a more important task.

Step 4: Prioritise You

After you finish the big assignments, get a head start on future projects, and get rid of the lesser important tasks, it's time to recharge and prioritise yourself! You've done so well keeping up with all these things you need to do, now it's time for some me time! Do whatever it is you need to do to relax, wind-down, decrease your anxiety, and just forget about the pressure of life for a little bit. It could be watching a movie or some videos, playing a game, reading a book, writing something, enjoying some self care, eating some tasty food, whatever it is. It's important to remember to worry about yourself after you've spent a whole day worrying about your work.

And that's my guide to prioritising! I hope this helps you with planning out your workload and making schedules!

[swearyshera]

I feel people like you, who post free entertainement on social medias, need some reminders, so here goes:

remember you don't owe us anything. No explaination, no apology, no excuse, no punctuality, not even quality.

If you need a break, take it and you don't have to tell us why or to give us a deadline.

If you didn't post at a time you scheduled to post, you don't need to rush, to give excuses or to apologize.

If your content doesn't please everyone, you don't have to redo it, (if it's you who aren't satisfied, you might want, but then again you have to find the good balance between being proud of yourself and being over perfectionist and never achieving anything because there's always something to fix)

Since you're providing entertainement (as opposed to someone who is doing a crucial job for someone's health, for instance, and who therefore needs to warn someone to replace them if necessary), you don't need to post or to be on time; you could give it all up, none of us is entitled to your content or your time. Since you're doing it for free you don't have a contract with any of us, therefore you face no consequence by being late or "bad" or just stopping.

If for some reason you posted less, less often, or nothing at all, there's plenty of entertainment providers on the internet. We love your content and will configure tumblr to get notifications when (if) you'll come back, but we don't need you, so please prioritize yourself, what you want, what is healthy for you.

Anyway I think I speak for all of us when I say this: it's best if you take your time, so that you're in good physical and mental health, to provide content you like, than if we get 100% of the "job" done right on time, but it made you feel bad. We wouldn't be happy about the result.

I absolutely love writing this and sharing it with everyone - I wouldn't have gotten this far if I didn't. And I have always prioritised my own wellbeing, as I'm sure you'll be pleased to hear - that's why I take short breaks at the end of each season, as well as either a break or a posting reduction in the middle. That gives me the time to take it easy and take days off all while not having to panic because the queue's running down rapidly.

Yes, this blog does take up a lot of my time outside of work - maybe more than it should, I probably spend a good 5 or 6 hours a week on it. But I'm happy to, and it's never a chore (some scenes can feel a bit dragging, so I normally just take a break and come back afresh the next day). And importantly, I still have time free to do other things.

One of the reasons I make funny things is that the world is not that funny and becoming less funny every day. If I can give people a reason to smile amongst all the gloom and doom, even if it's just for a second, I figure that's time well spent. Reading through the tags, the responses, the asks... that all makes it worthwhile because I know I've been able to make people happy (or I've just given them an emotional punch to the gut).

I'm so much better at keeping myself healthy than I used to be, and that includes making sure I'm not overworking myself. If something awful happened and I couldn't write for a week, I'd weather it just fine and wouldn't push myself beyond my limits. I love all of you, and that's why I do this. We're gonna get to the end, no problem!

[lowkeyclueless5137]

what’s the double genshin isekai AU?

ANON I EVEN HAVE DRAWINGS DONE, TRUST ME-

In here, for the rarepair week, I made a smol backstory of how Idia came back to twst and what role it has to the main story

Now, mind u, my sister insisted that I get genshin. I got the game like 2 days ago...

So behold! My first 20 pull:

I just wanted the penguin boi :'3

Now, under the cut, I'll explain the whole thing, top to bottom+ the drawings.

Also, please don't expect top notch loke knowledge. I'm not that invested in genshin... I only play just to unwind a bit. :'3

So... At base, it's your generic double isekai. Idia gets yeeted off twst due to the ✨ incident✨.

Except that he finds himself on a rainy day in a big city, running for some coverage. He finds a safe spot, unknowingly being at the entryway of the courthouse, where he gets found by Nevilette. Since the rain was getting worse and this kid was wounded and shivering, Nevilette takes him in the court house and treats him. Naturally, this priquires Furina's attention. The kid seems to not know anything that might give a clue about his family. He could just say his name: Idia.

So congratulations, kid, you got adopted! :D

Idia was a freakishly fast learner for his age. Nevilette wanted him to go to normal school, but Idia's fear of strangers urged both Nevilette and Furina to take the home schooling route. Wrio(I can't spell his full name for the life of me) is the occasional babysitter U_Ub

Idia, much to Furina's dismay, proved himself eligible for a vision when he intercepted an attempt at the archon's life. He was still around 9, so him taking most of the hit ended up with a long time in bed and his Shroud curse coming back.

Nevilette almost had a fricking panic attack that day, lemme tell ya. Everyone remembers that day. 030

But, when Idia wakes up, he's asked why he did what he did. He says that Furina is his big sister and he can't accept her or his papa(Nevilette) getting hurt. He maybe wasn't as great as them, but he will do his very best to protect his family.

That's when his vision appears. And it's pyro. :'3

So, as a congratulations for getting his vision, Furina purchased the finest fabric in all of Teyvat and she handmade a big bow for Idia where he could attach his vision. But because he was smol, if the bow was on the hip or back, it would incapacitate him. Instead Idia had it attached to the back of his neck, from where he braided his hair. He cherishes it because Furina went through all of that effort for him after all. While he was strapped to a bed and Nevilette was tiredlessly working at both the courthouse and towards nursing him back to health.

From there on, Idia did his best to train as the bodyguard of the hydro archon. Nevilette was at first against the idea, insisting that Idia should focus on his passions and prioritise an education before settling onto something. But Idia already made his mind and off he was. Wrio trained him, but Idia wasn't really made for punching. Thus he had to use a weapon, mainly a sword. For now, his job as a bodyguard is rarely needed when no more attempts at attacks were made, so Idia had to throw in the towel and focus on something else: schedule manager and prop management.

Idia's job is to keep track of every case and event that goes in the courthouse. He is the guy through which all the events pass first before being actually put in motion. He makes the schedule and he makes sure that everyone is up to date. Naturally it seems like a lot of talking has to be done, but Idia has his ways around, mainly putting a big panel of notes where he changes the schedule every day. People have to actively seek him out if they want a schedule change, hence why things usually run like clockwork in there. Idia manages props and tools for the more drama part of the cases after all. Not more than once did he end up dismembering smith for his curiosity needs. He knows how to build props from scratch by now. :'3

Unlike Furina, Idia is much more reserved. He hates crowded places and would do anything to pin the spotlight on someone else. He is Charlotte's biggest enemy, for the mere fact that he's impossible to even catch a proper photo of him.

And all of that reflects on his abilities as a character. For the game technicalities, he would be a pyro sword character. His basic attacks are fluid at first with a final rough strike, while for the long hold he can dash as a small flame before bursting out with a small surrounding fire damage.

His elemental attack is film cut: long strips of movie are tying 2 to 7 enemies so that if you inflict damage on one, that damage gets evenly split in between the others.

For his burst, I wrote it in the oneshot: lights. Camera. Action. Is a burst that creates a big range field (the spotlights signal it) as in there Idia and the rest of his party members become invisible to mobs unless they take damage, a projecto\movie camera taking place as the main target (basically a small turret). The burst does give a massive pyro explosion too, but ultimately it helps with dodging or health recovery.

The thing with Idia is that his fire is blue. His vision turns blue when he uses more powerful attacks and patterns appear on the back like blue bubbles. That was the hydro dragon's favour, a blessing Nevilette gave to Idia once he started to pursue his wish of being a bodyguard. U-Ub

Now... The events of the oneshot linked above occur. Idia now possesses the pair of scissors that can help him jump in between Teyvat and twst. Naturally, during the summer holiday at NRC, he invites Azul and Malleus over, while Furina and Ortho try to be wingmen. These 2 are besties and their only scope in life is to tease Idia with his luv life. They live for the drama™ :'3

So, seeing that Idia longed for closure with these 2, along with him actually being interested in attending proper school and Furina being down to explore the world, now free of the archon burden, Nevilette indulges in actually talking with crow man and enrolling these 2. I mean... It took a few pretty crystals and mama and papa Shroud(they are on actual good terms) to persuade Crowley into enrollment. Although he specified that he cannot arrange for dorms out of the dark mirror's decision. (BCS they obv didn't pay as much as the asims)

So cue high-school! Furina was obviously more excited than Idia. In there no one knew who she was or what she did. It was basically a new beginning. She already was dreaming of making friends, having tea-parties together and all that sunshine and rainbows.

Meanwhile, Idia was actually preparing to fill in his bodyguard duty, since he already had some experience with the NRC students. :'3

Cue first day of school! and Nevilette ugly crying for his beloved kids finally getting outside to learn and explore. :'3

And the ceremony goes ablaze. Literally!

Well, at first Furina was sorted into ramshackle, which came as a suprise since Idia was sorted in Ignihyde. Then here comes Yuu and your cannon fiasco with Grim. Idia had to stay behind with Furina due to the ramshackle situation. So now with Yuu, there are 2 people who are going to stay in there.

And Furina wants this challenge, despite Idia reasoning that the place is definitely unliveable. She's older, now shush and go to bed! >:v

Cue 1 half a prologue and Idia finds himself chasing after this 1 braincell squad and Furina down in the mines. It turns out the ginger brat has a geo vision and uses a bow, which raises even more questions! :'3

Ace does explain to the 2 that his family has the ability to pass through the abyss from twst to Teyvat. His big brother resides in Teyvat atm along his little siblings too. His grandparents tho are in the queendom of roses. :v

So now you have 3 vision users, one magicless hooman, one cauldron mage and 1 magic fire raccoon cat.

What a lovely team :'3

Now for my drawings:

First up, I really tried to experiment with diff tools, so you have this idea of how this 5⭐ mf would look like if you even wanna pull for him. There are 2 variants bcs I couldn't decide. :'3

There's also one page of memes and one of how the le Fontaine kids look like in NRC.

And ✨tsum Furina the almighty ✨. U-Ub

And finally, my personal favourite: a smol oneshot scene:

Welp... That's all for now on this au :3

[cocoartistwrites]

Ghosted friend anon here. I have an update for you. So, I messaged her. She told me what she did before, that she's going through some rough challenges and has very low bandwidth. I asked her if she could let me know how she's doing off and on so that I'm not worrying that the worst happened. She said she'd try. Ngl, dunno how I feel about that. I feel like if you care about your friends, shooting out a text to let them know you're alive should be easy. Maybe I'm just too in my head rn.

Firstly well done for texting I know it’s daunting and you were very brave to do it.

So your heart is in the right place but I do think maybe don’t ask more of her if she’s overwhelmed. Just tell you care and you’re there if she needs anything. I’m afraid, and I don’t know all the circumstances or history here, that you may be being a bit unfair, and requiring your needs to be prioritised over hers when she is in a bad place. She doesn’t owe anyone an update.

A bit of unconditional love and support go a long way. But asking for updates is something that seems minor and isn’t necessarily. If you’ve ever had mental health issues or a serious loss or something you’ll know that text can seem like an exhausting mountain of a task. You don’t know what to say, you’re not fine and you don’t want to say that but you don’t want to complain again, and you just find yourself incapable of writing anything.

That said, I don’t know if she’s otherwise a good friend outside this. I have a friend people are very demanding of and even when she’s run down and insanely busy people will still get upset if she doesn’t reply to their messages or offer them emotional support. She rarely doesn’t reply to me because I don’t ask anything more of her when she’s overwhelmed, so I think it’s an effective tactic.

I have another friend who will ghost for months at a time and I used to get upset but she has so much shit going on that I’ve learned as long as I don’t require steady supportive friendship from her it doesn’t bother me. I’ll text her in those periods to say I still love her and I’m not mad at her (sometimes guilt will keep her quiet longer) and then I just get on with my life in between. It’s getting harder to bother to do that when it doesn’t get better so now it’s more a birthday text thing if she’s vanished, and obviously I have made much closer friends now.

Hope this is helpful and not too harsh - I know you just want to make sure she’s alright but if you want to keep a friendship sometimes you have to have a really selfless period. It might not work and she might not be grateful but my advice is be loving, be supportive, let her know there’s space to talk if she wants but she doesn’t have to, and make sure it doesn’t feel like a task.

[swiftbell]

Just have some very personal stuff I felt I needed to write down and get out into the world, feel free to ignore.

tw: childhood trauma, tw: emotional neglect Actually coming to the realisation that both of my parents were emotionally neglectful to me as a kid feels... weird to say the least. Part of the reason being that they did provide me with everything I needed physically or monetarily, and it feels as if I need to be very grateful for that, but I just can't. I've been reading and watching some stuff on the internet (link, link, link) and one of them mentioned that you had a relatively good life, but you also feel resentment towards your parents. Which yeah. There were also just a lot of things that hit hard, like the one linked video where he goes through signs of childhood trauma and I recognise everything as things I've either struggled with a lot, or to some capacity am struggling with.

The sources I find talk about recognising yourself in some of the points, but I recognise myself in almost all of the points. And honestly it just fucking sucks. On one hand it feels validating for someone to point out and say "hey, what you're feeling isn't normal, and things can be better", but on the other hand I feel angry because it means that I could've had such a better life. My mental health could've been so much better, there are so many situations I could've handled better. I could have been younger than almost 30 before I started feeling like maybe I can get my life together.

And honestly I don't want to hear people talk about how "everybody struggles with this in some form" and "nobody had their life together by 30" because I don't care! I care about the fact that I have it bad and that I could've had it so much better! My feelings and experiences are valid.

And then there's the fact that I really don't think there'd be any difference if I told my parents about it. Both would be defensive, my dad would be angry that my worldview doesn't line up with his and that he thinks he's done good and given up a lot and that I should be more grateful (I have heard him say that he wouldn't change anything about the way he raised us). And I know my mum would be hurt and blame herself, because she's gone through much and given much, but then she'd put it on me to explain to her what she should do and just say that she doesn't understand - problem is that she won't because I've tried to explain things to her a dozen times and she still doesn't understand. It's either disappointed anger or woe is me I don't understand, and neither will want to go to therapy or actually fix it with the hard work it would take, and I just don't want to deal with that. It's not like either of them would actually hear what I want to say to them.

I talked about it a bit with my therapist, and I just remember that in my childhood (7th-8th grade or thereabout) we had a thing in school where we had a list of things we had to put prioritise, and I was the only one who put my friends before my family (excluding my sister, because she's always at the top). Which honestly just shows that I've known this for a long time, but thought I was probably exaggerating because it couldn't be that bad, and it's not like they were actually abusive y'know.

I feel as if I had some point I wanted to make when I started writing this, but I don't know what that point is. Maybe I just want someone to say that what they've done is in fact fucked up, and that I am valid in my feelings, and that people don't try to downplay it, or try to fix it, or try to get me to see their side. Believe me, I have seen too much of their side, and I understand it better than they do. Arrogance? Maybe. But I have 0 hope that they'll ever change.

I'm just not sure what to do now. I am gonna talk more to my therapist about this. I just needed to get this out into the world.

[danandphilnews]

The Guardian Interview

Daniel Howell: 'If young people aren't supported it's going to screw everybody'

Sarah Marsh

In our latest report for this year’s Guardian and Observer charity appeal, we talk to the Young Minds ambassador and YouTube star.

Please donate to our appeal here

Daniel Howell has spent the pandemic in “a slight apocalyptic nuclear bunker”, with terrible internet. It is quite the revelation for someone who shot to stardom documenting his life on YouTube, with his channel reaching more than 6 million subscribers.

Speaking over a Zoom call, the former BBC Radio 1 presenter jokes that his routine “of watering house plants” and “peering out the windows” has been interrupted. But despite the dystopian glaze overshadowing 2020, he has not found this year as hard as some.

“I mean, I will be honest. I’m one of those chronic introverts that’s mildly agoraphobic,” he says. “We were probably more predisposed to survive a pandemic. So this lack of human interaction, I’m not hating it. But maybe on some level, after an entire year, I’m like, OK, I could have maybe seen a person?”

Howell’s candid discussion about his mental health, often using humour to talk about difficult situations, is what marked out his YouTube channel for such success. He uploaded his first video, entitled “hello internet”, on 16 October 2009.

After a hiatus, in June 2019 he came out as gay in a video. He discussed the homophobia he had dealt with, particularly in school, to the point of a suicide attempt when he was a teenager. He is now an ambassador for Young Minds, a charity helping young people struggling with their mental health.

The reaction to his videos inspired him to work with Young Minds, one of the Guardian and Observer’s 2020 appeal charities in support of disadvantaged young people. “I felt like, OK, well I’ve got this audience now, that they care, they give a shit, and they want to do something about it. I want to do something about it.”

The pandemic “really makes you appreciate the little things that are there”, he says. It has made people take account of what is good for their mental health, something “that all of us really should be doing more often”.

On the flipside, Howell thinks it has highlighted the dire situation of mental health services in the UK. “We talk about the good of the NHS. And even in the last few years, when the conversation about mental health has been much more of a priority on the table, it’s still not nearly enough. I mean, you look at some of the statistics, and they’re all going in the wrong direction.”

He says that rather than just “token investments from the government”, there needs to be a cultural shift to “actually understand and prioritise mental health”, with a focus on prevention rather than cure. “Particularly for young people, it’s about intervening for the few people that are at the point of crisis,” he says.

Howell says he did not get much help with his mental health as a child, and as a result he has carried a lot of damaging behaviours with him into adult life. Since coming out on YouTube, he has taken a bit of a break and is now writing a book about mental health. Telling his YouTube followers about his sexuality was a big moment, he says, and they saw everything through his videos, from his breakdown at university to struggling with depression.

“I’m stood here now as someone that really feels like I’ve taken the first breath of air in my life, because anyone who struggles with their mental health, you feel like you’ve got to keep your head down and keep struggling through it to maybe get to that place where you feel like you have the safety and security that you need,” he says.

His journey online made him realise that some of the issues he had with his sexuality were fundamental to the reason why he had always struggled with depression. Aged 28, he “was starting with a blank slate” for the first time, he says.

But he worries about the future of the generation reaching adulthood now. “I mean, it’s a shame, isn’t it? The state of university in this country is a complete scam. The fact that these people are being told everything’s fine. They’re taking out these horrendous student loans, only to be trapped in their accommodation with online classes and everything’s being cancelled.”

He says it is easy, if the government thinks a group does not vote, not to be represented. “But you know, if you’re expecting them to be your caregivers in 30 years then you need to make sure they’re going to succeed in life at literally any aspect.

“If these people aren’t given some support to become functional members of society then it’s going to screw everybody. So I definitely think it’s one of the balls that has been completely dropped. And you know, young people are thankfully quite energetic and resilient, to be able to survive it, but they should absolutely not have to put up with it. And it’s gonna come back around with some consequences.”

Howell hopes his new book will help those who may be going through what he went through growing up. He now knows on a fundamental level how to make himself feel better. “I understand how to be mindful, how to take myself out of my head,” he says.

One of the most interesting things he learned while researching for the book, he says, is the power of knowing you are not your thoughts. He says that in our modern lives we are trapped in “these sterile environments, mostly trying to solve mental problems in our mind”.

“We just become prisoners of these intense thoughts and emotions,” he says. “Learning how to step back and get some perspective from that is important … If you catch yourself, while you’re boiling the kettle, going into this negative thought space, just to learn how to go actually know how to snap yourself out of that … really does make a difference, and not just about thoughts and feelings. It just makes you a more successful human, better performing and completing tasks.

“So it’s not all about yoga, and going on, you know, expensive trips to a retreat. It’s saying, if you want to be a functional human that can rise to the challenges of your life, you need to understand how to be the master of your mind.”

If you are a young person struggling with your mental health, advice and support is available on the YoungMinds website, including information about how to get help. If you are a young person in need of urgent support, contact the YoungMinds Crisis Messenger by texting YM to 85258. Young Minds’ dedicated helpline for parents can be called free on 0808 802 5544 from 9.30am to 4pm, Monday to Friday.

Source:

[thefibrodiaries]

The global pandemic has been going on for over a year and during that time I’ve seen a lot of posts that look like this:

“Lockdowns are causing mental health issues! We need to go back to living our lives normally for the sake of our mental health. Why can’t the vulnerable just stay locked in their homes until this is all over while the rest of us save the economy and ourselves!!”

The fact that suddenly concerned about mental health people are posting statements like this all over the internet is so harmful. Those who are vulnerable to covid make up a larger percentage of people than you might think (for reference 25% of people in the US, 20% of people in the UK and over 10% worldwide (1 in 10 people) are classed as disabled - this number does not include elderly but otherwise healthy people who are considered to be clinically vulnerable), we have been taken extra precautions (some people haven’t left the house AT ALL in over a year) to protect ourselves of our own initiative because we understand how serious the risk of getting covid is for us. Yes, I know Karen on Facebook said it isn’t her job to protect the vulnerable and that we should be protecting ourselves and we have been going above and beyond to do so but we won’t be protected unless everyone does their bit. Clinically vulnerable people aren’t some kind of “other”, we are exactly the same as you but are just at a higher risk of getting sick, being hospitalised and even dying. We have lives too, we all have friends and/or family, we have hobbies, we go out, many have jobs, some have kids of their own to love and care for and many might not seem clinically vulnerable because their conditions are only a big issue if they catch a virus, particularly one like covid. You see clinically vulnerable as meaning very old person who doesn’t get out much anyway and won’t be greatly affected by lockdowns but that isn’t what the average vulnerable person looks like (even if it was their rights and mental health are just as important as anyone else’s).

These posts talk about mental health but in the same breath make suggestions that will damage the mental health and even the lives of others. These suggestions are terrifying, I’ve even seen some people suggest opening “care homes” to house the vulnerable as a solution to keep us “safe” and so our families can continue to live life as normal while we are in “protection”. This is classic eugenicist behaviour (look up disability & Nazi Germany) and It’s horrifying that people think this would ever be a good thing.

These newly self proclaimed mental health activists fail to understand that people who are clinically vulnerable are suffering from an increase in mental health issues too and probably more so because they’ve been more isolated and anxious during this pandemic because of the increased risk of catching and dying from covid or getting long covid. Their mental health will likely be worsened by seeing multiple posts (especially when written by people they know) essentially blaming them for other people’s struggles and suggesting we be locked up and segregated so Becky and her friends can go to the club or Chad and his mates can go to football game. You are not concerned about mental health issues unless you are concerned about everyone’s mental health.

You quote suicide numbers and other statistics but won’t consider that maybe some of these suicides and people in crisis are in fact the very people that you are suggesting be put in a clinically vulnerable only lockdown while the rest of the world carries on as normal (spreading the virus to people that have to interact with the vulnerable) because your mental health is suffering. You’re just showing that you don’t care about mental health or the vulnerable (if you’re trying to make that stretch), you only care about yourself. I can tell you from experience that being isolated while society moves around you is very damaging to your mental health, more so than going through a lockdown that your peers are also going through.

Lastly, if you live in a country that has high cases, the main people you should blaming for the mess your country is in is your government - not for putting you lockdown, it was necessary - but for poorly handling the pandemic from the start and prioritising profit and politics over people and also for failing to provide accessible mental health support both before and during the pandemic.

[elen-aranel]

Ok. Don’t worry. I just want to see if you could do one where Christopher Pike is taking care of his wife after she gets side effects from a shot she had to get.

As long as it’s not pushing you out of your comfort zone.

The weather is grey and cold and writing this has made me feel warm. Thank you so much for my first ever request @sitkafay I really hope you like it 💖

Side Effects May Include

Pairing: Christopher Pike x F!Reader (no Y/N) Warnings: fluff, reader is sick WC: 1660 Tag list: @jusvibbbin (to be added to my Pike X Reader taglist let me know)

“It’s bad. Ensign Parsons almost died. Some humans are particularly susceptible, according to Phil.” Chris takes a bite of the pasta carbonara you synthesised for dinner. You thought your husband might need some comfort food – today had been tough.

The transporter’s bio filters hadn’t picked up the infection when the away team beamed back from the planet the Enterprise had been surveying a couple of days ago. So by the time the first person got sick, it had already infected almost all of exobiology and the beta-shift security team.

“They developed an antiviral and a vaccine, though, right?” You say, concerned, taking a sip of your synthesised white wine.

“Yes. Phil came up and administered the vaccine to the bridge crew already, and engineering are going to sickbay to get their doses overnight. Everyone else gets theirs tomorrow.” Chris sighs a little and you see the worry in his blue eyes. “It could have been a lot worse – it’s only as infectious as Earth’s flu, so locking down the ship has worked. Phil said it if had been as infectious as measles we could have been looking at multiple fatalities, even with the antiviral.” He sighs a little and you put your fork down and reach out for your husband’s hand.

“Too close for comfort,” you say, and he nods. You both take a moment, then he brightens up.

“You all right to work from ’home’ tomorrow?”

“I expect I’ll cope.” You grin, happy to see his dimpled smile in return.

*

It’s odd having to synthesise a mask to wear to go to sickbay. Environmental control has been set to filter the virus in the air, but the ship is a closed system and Chris – Captain Pike, you remind yourself; he may be your husband but you are on duty – has let Boyce take the lead. The CMO is not taking any chances.

You sit on a bio bed as a Nurse T’Hara scans you.

“I have confirmed you do not have any of the virus in your system. With your permission I will now administer the vaccine. You should have full immunity within eighteen hours, but prior to that you may experience some side effects as your immune system adjusts. We estimate the probability of this to be less than five percent based on the crew who have received this treatment so far.”

You nod, understanding. Chris didn’t have any side effects, so hopefully you won’t either.

She presses a hypo spray to your neck.

*

Back in your quarters you sit at Chris’s desk, PADD in hand. You look out at the stars going by at warp. In three days the ship is due to scan a nebula with some interesting subspace properties, and you are working on a proposal for the best way to scan it – routes round the nebula and sensor optimisation, as well as probes, possibly to collect more data and to take samples. You love when Enterprise has a spatial phenomenon to investigate – stars drew you to Starfleet in the first place, and you love being on the cutting edge of astrophysics. The proposal is almost done, and you’re due to send it to Spock by 12:00 after you reread it and cross check your supporting data.

But somehow it’s difficult to concentrate. Maybe it’s the way you can see the stars going by? Your office doesn’t have a window, and you don’t usually use this desk. Chris has so much paperwork to handle you understand that he can’t do it all in his ready room; you like that you get to spend time with him as he works. But you don’t often bring work back to your quarters, and if you do you usually sit on the sofa.

You get up and stretch, and walk across to the sofa. You feel like you do the day after you’ve had a particularly rough workout. But the ship went into lockdown before you and Maryam – Lieutenant Ahmed, your friend in security – could have your weekly sparring session yesterday. Weird.

You sit down, tucking your legs under you, and get back to your proposal. You manage to read and edit a couple more sections. There’s only double checking the referenced data to do now. You shake your head a little; you feel a bit spaced out. Not quite connected with your body.

“Computer, what time is it?”

“The current time is 09:55.”

You have time to take a little break. You put your PADD aside, and rub your eyes. You could just shut them for a few minutes – your head is aching a bit, but it’ll probably be fine in five minutes or so.

*

“Sweetheart?”

Someone wants something. But your head is aching and you’re so drowsy. If you ignore them they’ll go away.

“Sweetheart? Are you okay?”

You blink, opening your eyes, squinting. Chris’s face is right in front of you, his blue eyes staring into yours, worried.

“’m fine,” you say. But your voice sounds a little rough. “What’re you doing here?”

“Spock was expecting you to send that proposal. When you didn’t we commed you but you didn’t reply.”

He reaches out a hand and holds the back of it against your forehead. It’s pleasantly cool and you lean into the touch, sighing a little as he flips his hand round and strokes your cheek.

“Sorry. I had a bit of a headache. Thought I’d just close my eyes for a few minutes. Don’t know what happened. What time is it now?”

“13:00. You’re a bit warm. how do you feel?”

“Not great. My head’s pounding, and if I’d known I’d fall asleep I’d have gone to bed.” You groan as you shift. “My muscles are all ache-y, and the sofa hasn’t helped.”

Chris presses a kiss to your forehead. “Sounds like you’re having a reaction to the vaccine. Sickbay reported that a few people had. Come on, let’s get you a little more comfortable.” He puts an arm round you and helps you stretch your legs out along the sofa. He grabs a couple of throw cushions and props them behind your back.

“Don’t you need to get back to the bridge?” As sick as you feel you know that Chris has to prioritise the ship; one of the things you love about him is his commitment to the people under his care.

“Number One has the conn. Actually I’d planned to get caught up on crew evals in the ready room while everything was quiet, but...” you see the love in his eyes as he stands. “You need me. Can’t neglect you when you feel like this.”

“If you’re sure,” you say, glad that he’s staying, but still feeling the need to check. You close your eyes again, now feeling a bit cold.

Next thing you know Chris’s strong arm is around you, and there’s a delicious smell in front of your nose. You open your eyes – Chris must have dimmed the lights because you don’t need to squint anymore.

“Chicken soup. It’ll make you feel better.”

You take a small sip from the cup he’s holding in front of you. It’s the perfect temperature, hot but not too hot, and the savoury flavour bursts across your tongue, familiar somehow, and soothing. You hum in pleasure, and take another sip, bringing your hands up to hold the cup.

“Mom made the program after you said you liked it last time we visited. It’s the soup she put in a flask for us when we went for a ride on the last evening we were there. She said it won’t be as good as homemade, but she hoped you’d like it anyway. I’ve been keeping it to surprise you... now seemed like a good time.”

“Thank you,” you say, leaning back into him. You remember that ride – he had taken you to his favourite place for stargazing as a kid, and you had sat there looking at the Milky Way, the horses nearby, you and Chris snuggled under blankets, warm together in the cool desert night. You need to thank her, you think, when you feel better.

“Thought this was the best to get some food into you, get you hydrated.” He squeezes you and kisses your temple. “Would you like to go to bed?”

“You have reports to go through, right? Maybe I can sit with you, while you read them here?”

“We can do that,” he says, voice warm, and he helps you move up so he can sit next to you. He flips the throw from the back of the sofa down over you, then he pulls you against him, and you lean back. He puts an arm round you again, and holds his PADD in his other hand. You doze, feeling comforted.

*

“...should resolve by themselves? Thanks. Yeah. I’ll make sure. Let me know if you— All right. Pike out.”

“Hmm?”

“Phil. He wants me to keep you hydrated, but thinks you’ll feel better by the morning.”

You stretch against him. You’re already feeling a bit more yourself – your headache is easing, even though your muscles are still a bit sore.

“Thank you for taking care of me, Chris. You—you didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to. In sickness and in health, right?”

“Right.”

“I’m going to get you some water, then something to eat if you can manage it, then hot shower to soothe those muscles, then bed. How does that sound?”

“That sounds perfect. But—”

“Your proposal? Spock has it. He’s pleased, says your idea to use the probes is a good one.”

“You think of everything, don’t you?” You swing your legs round, pulling away from him a little as you sit up, keeping the throw over your bottom half. You turn toward him, reaching out to touch his face. His mouth quirks into a smile.

“I’m not Captain for nothing, sweetheart.” He leans toward you and gives you a gentle kiss.

[confessionsofa-roleplayer]

Nope. No self reflection needed. This is the last post I will make, because honestly, us mods are all adults who have far more important things to do with our time than argue with selfish people over things that, in the grand scheme of things, do not matter one bit. I’ve tried my best to always be kind and civil to people with attitudes like this on our blog, but honestly, I’m so tired of this pathetic kind of viewpoint. Things like this right here is why we are done. We give up time and effort to run a blog like this with very little thanks, when there’s been lulls in the posting we’ve always given little updates where we could, and the one time when we can’t keep up for whatever reason and don’t update, some people lose their shit at us for it. 

The RPC is not, and should not, be the most important thing in anyone’s lives. I don’t owe you anything right now, but in the last year, with multiple health scares and work commitments and real life tragedies, not once did it occur to me that ‘oh, maybe I should update all those people who I don’t really know’. Not once. Because believe it or not, people have lives, families, real life commitments and not a single one of us owes you anything. Nothing about dealing with our lives how we want to is ‘bullshit’. If you think that, then I think it is you who needs to do some self reflection, because we literally don’t give a damn about how we’ve hurt your feelings by prioritising our real lives over this blog. Your mentality is actually why the RPC is so unbearable, actually. The mentality that people owe you stuff and owe you explanations for anything that is going on with their lives, that people have some kind of obligation to keep you posted. I’m sure if someone was on their deathbed, you’d expect them to make a quick post just to keep you appeased. If this is your view, if you’ve spent the last four months seemingly steaming in frustration that we didn’t check in to keep you happy, then that’s on you. 

If you want a blog that is always active 24/7 and always updating you, then by all means, go and make one yourself. I wish you luck if you do. Run a blog for seven years with people constantly moaning at you for not keeping active when you’re literally going through hell in your real life. But in the meantime, you need to accept that people have lives and they do not owe you anything at all. If anything is bullshit here, it is your grotesque attitude. If you do not like how people run their blogs, then you know where the door is. 

--- mod Louise

[meichenxi]

Obsession, ‘productivity’ and habits vs routines: starting learning in a healthier way

cw: perfectionism, obsessiveness, allusion to eating disorders, depression, anxiety (very non-explicit) I’m going to be writing a series of posts from some asks I’ve had waiting for me, on how to build a cohesive language learning routine, but I wanted to preface that first with something we talk about less than we should in the language learning community: obsessiveness, perfectionism, recovery from mental health, and how to approach language learning in a better way. If the personal stuff bores you, feel free to skip the first two paragraphs. 

I have been trying to ‘be more productive’ - in healthy ways, and unhealthy ways - since I was about ten. If you don’t fit in, for whatever reason, hobbies - and especially creative or ‘productive’ ones - are a wonderful escape. They make you feel that it’s ok not to have friends; they let you look down on all those other stupid children with all the misplaced arrogance of every single bored, clever pre-teen. When I was twelve, I realised there was no point eating with people that didn’t like me and went to the library instead, because that was ‘dead time’. When I was fourteen, I realised getting the bus was ‘dead time’, and started doing Anki for two hours a day. When I was sixteen, I realised walking was ‘dead time’, and started either listening to podcasts or talking out loud. By the time I was eighteen, I was doing four A-levels in school, an EPQ, teaching myself an extra Latin GCSE, and taught myself the Spanish A-level in 3 months right before the exam. I also worked out for two hours a day - because eating lunch was ‘dead time’, and sleeping was ‘dead time’ - trained martial arts four evenings a week, tutored twice a week, had a part-time job as a waitress, played the flute in a prestigious orchestra, and was 150,000 words deep in the first draft of a very gay, Norse-mythology inspired fantasy novel. 

I had it all under control. My marks were excellent; I was a well-rounded person, musical and sporty and already decently on the way to becoming a polyglot, I was training to be a teacher, and I had plans to publish my novel. My home life was painful, but I was painfully independent with what I now like to call the ‘Elsa complex’. Or, actually, like Zuko: I could look after myself, by myself. It was all under control. 

I guess everyone can see where this is going. School ended, and with it came endless, open days. I fell apart. 

With endless surprise, I can now say that, four years later, I think I’ve come through the worst of it. I still have tendencies to get obsessive, but my anxiety and perfectionism are a lot better, I don’t dissociate, and I have - gasp! shock! - actual interest in life again. I never wrote that novel, but I’m still gay and still love Norse mythology, so I’m slowly finding my way towards writing again. What people don’t tell you about getting better, though, is that trying to define yourself, trying to find yourself, as a person who exists without mental illness, is very, very hard. Many of the things that you used to identify as core components of your personality or important values may have changed, and you may be hesitant about trying to take up hobbies that you used to enjoy because you recognise - and rightly so - that the incessant drive to be doing something, all the time, didn’t necessarily come from anywhere healthy. That those things which you clung to and which protected you may actually have ended up harming you in the end. A lot of figuring out old patterns of unhelpful thoughts involves realising that the things that you defended or framed as helping - weren’t. That’s a hard thought, especially because those mechanisms developed to try and protect you, one that’s immeasurably sad. 

Seperating your reasons for doing something obsessively and your love of it in the first place, before it became unhealthy, is difficult. And it means that when you feel - finally, finally - ready to start tackling something like language learning again, you end up sorting of approaching it sideways, shiftily, as if you’re hoping to trick yourself into it. It’s a delicate thing, like a baby bird, and it’s dangerous too, because if you do everything which you did before - the only thing you know how to do - it’s not going to work. And every time it fails is personal, because being able to do it again represents getting better, and reclaiming parts of your identity mental illness stole, and it hurts.

I’m writing this post because somebody asked me about my approach to creating a successful language learning routine. And I do have a lot of thoughts - but I wanted to preface that post with this one, to say:

If you are reading this to be more productive, if it is becoming obsessive, if you want to fit the most possible language learning into the tightest schedule possible, STOP. Take care of yourself. These tips for ‘productivity’ are for people who want to learn a little bit more about organising their time, and are in the right space to add more learning to their life. If you are only defined by what many hours you get done a day, if that’s what motivates you, these tips are not for you. Look after yourself. 

And on that note, here’s a confession: I don’t have - have never had - a successful language learning routine. Because of what happened, the only way I can keep going and prevent myself from falling into bad habits is if I approach it sideways, if I pretend I’m not taking it seriously, because I know if I don’t things will go wrong. But I want to be honest and upfront because I know a lot of people read my posts for advice and say that this doesn’t work for me. It might not work for you either. I especially know there are a lot of conceptions of successful langblrs with 7, 8, 9 etc languages in the title - that that we spend 5 hours a day on Anki, fall asleep to Glossika, and so on. And it’s especially important to mention now, because I feel like my language learning habits have only started being healthy in the last year or so - essentially since I started actually enjoying Chinese media. I could teach you how to cram every spare second with language learning, or how to successfully pass an A-level in 3 months with no teachers. I was good (and arrogant, and cocky, and needed bringing down a peg or two). But I won’t.

What I do have are succesful language learning habits. Apart from being a generally more flexible appraoch for all learners, the advantage of building successful habits over a fixed routine is that it allows for learning according to different in energy levels, how busy you are, what you find difficult and what else is going on in your life. Most crucially for me is that it is always a much healthier approach, because what I do is not based on number of hours, or number of units a week, or anything quantifiable that allows me to get obsessive again or frustrated that I’m not doing enough. 

Routine is important, especially when it comes to routinising daily tasks. The only thing I have is that sometimes - on good weeks, and once or twice even shockingly on good months - I have a decent Anki streak going. That’s it. I don’t listen every day - I don’t read every day - I certainly don’t do grammar every day. There’s nothing specific I do every day, though I usually rack up a good few hours of immersion or study - to be honest, I fail at Anki probably at least 60% of the time. Everything else - all these tips I have written about - I do as and when. Framing it in such vague terms makes it sound like I must have an extraordinary amount of motivation to keep going, that maybe I’m just lucky to be interested etc, but that’s really not the case. What I have done to keep learning regularly and somewhat successfully (I hope!!) without limiting myself to a routine which I know I will starting obsessing over is tying specific language learning behaviour to certain moods or levels of concentration. 

All routine is just habit. Habit, with a ribbon and packaged nicely. But allowing yourself to adapt your learning to the circumstances gives you more flexibility than any strict routine, and is more sustainable in the long term. What building habits rather than a specific routine does is allow you to learn what works best when, what works when you’re tired, and what is best to do when you have energy, or when you want to watch a show, or talk to people. It puts you at the centre of your language learning, rather than framing language learning as a central part of you. 

So how can we build healthy habits? How can we utilise ‘dead time’ whilst keeping it light, and fun? How can we adapt our language learning for times when we are tired, and stressed? Or what about when we don’t have time to give 100% of our attention or concentration? How can we identify our own strengths, our own weaknesses, and unite these with our personal goals to figure out what to prioritise in active studying, and what to do when we don’t have the energy for that? 

I’ll give my thoughts on all of these over the next couple of weeks, in what I hope will be a comprehensive overview of how best to practice, addressing everything from how to practice speaking to how to start as a complete beginner. If you have any thoughts or interim questions, or if you’d like to add your own experience to anything I have said, please feel free to!

In the mean time - 

chenxi out. 

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

we are our family, even if we don’t want to be.

Titans 3.07

a bit over halfway through the season, and we still don’t have all of our main characters on the board! i love this show.

as always, typing this up as i watch. live reaction, baby! *shadowboxes*

SPOILERS AHEAD

1. i don’t think i’ve mentioned this before, but i kinda miss the old ‘dc universe’ intro. it was cool! the whole idea of it was wild and waaaaay over-ambitious, but also very very on-brand because of it.

2. this is... the third time we’ve seen dick sleeping this season? that’s a record! checking another thing off my s3 wishlist...

2.5. i guess i rag on titans all the time for its wafer-thin plotting and bad pacing, but i have to admit that this season has been a step-up from the last one in this regard. titans has very reactive rather than proactive protagonists, and a lot of the last season seemed to be: x happened, the team reacted badly, then y happened, they reacted badly, etc. this time around, it’s not a huge leap up by any means, but at least they’re doing something about it. 

i do appreciate the focus on character arcs over everything else. and when i say everything else, i mean it: arcs that started two seasons ago with no big cathartic moments, intermittent payoff and multiple relapses. big bads have ranged from interdimensional demons to superpowered assassins to whatever in the world scarecrow is, but trigon’s big weapon against the titans was to... use their worst fears against them. slade’s was to... use their fears to break them up. crane’s is to... use red hood to use their fears to break them up. even the threat of gotham’s citizens being in danger doesn’t feel real: gotham is mythologised into an entity of its own, infecting our heroes like a parasite. like. this is not to say that most other superhero media aren’t big character arcs intertwined with the main plot, but titans doesn’t even make pretend that it’s anything but.

anyway. that’s my entry #2345 to ‘give a grand unifying theory for titans’. thanks. i’ll be back with more.

3. “anger is just fear in a little black dress.” god I HATE HIM

(what’s he doing with barbara’s likeness? oh... oh god. a terrible thought just occurred to me. what if they introduce hush at the very last minute for plastic surgery shenanigans? would you put it past this show?)

3.5. jason, nooooooooo

3.75. i mean, they’re making it very clear here that scarecrow is the one in control--the one who’s always been in control--and is manipulating jason and literally poisoning him, but i hope it doesn’t end up erasing nuance or jason’s autonomy. if jason’s to reckon with the issues that brought him here, then the lines of responsibility will need to be set somewhere. 

(this applies to dick as well but more on that later, i guess.)

4. just--the phrase “40% loss of income” is so funny to me. like, gotham is full of these larger-than-life characters who are idiosyncratic beyond belief, colourful and dramatic and creating chaos just for the sake of chaos, and then there’s the regular criminals and their henchmen who just want to make a quick buck sitting down with pie charts and graphs, griping about the joker reducing their returns or debating high risk investments in, i don’t know, two-face’s next scheme.

“yyyyeeeeeaaah, my financial advisor is telling me that going all-in with a guy who literally makes decisions on the flip of a coin is probably not the greatest idea.”

4.5. god i hate smug!smarmy!scarecrow so much

4.85. as big plans to “control” gotham go, it’s pretty bog-standard. clearly scarecrow has some bigger plan in mind but it really feels like we’ve got no clear insight into him and he’s this generic creepy mystery-man who knows more than he lets on and springs a twist/cliffhanger every now and then. i liked the scenes with him and dick in 3.04 where it seemed like he was genuinely on the backfoot and things weren’t going as he predicted. for all of his faults, dick is at least familiar with scarecrow’s bullshit and knows not to give what he wants.

5. i mean... i see where dick is coming from with the “he’s not jason anymore; he’s red hood” because his immediate glaring concern is scarecrow’s drug and the damage it could potentially cause gotham? i do not doubt that it’s something batman drilled into him, too, but when you’re expected to take point on a situation where the lives of an entire city weigh down on your shoulders, it’s better to simplify things and prioritise. i’m not saying it’s great or healthy! gar is absolutely right to consider this facet of the situation. it’s just dick can’t.

6. hmmmmmmm. HMMMMMMMMMMM. 

i don’t know that i’m super fond of this iteration of oracle???? it looks like a cross between cerebro from x-men and jarvis from iron man. it’s giving me second-hand embarrassment. somebody help me.

(at least they remembered dick’s middle name is actually “john”. i like to think bruce printed D in that contract because for a while he genuinely thought richard “dick” grayson was his full name. duck duck goose, dick dick grayson, i don’t know alfred, the kid was in a circus, maybe they thought it was funny. or maybe it was a test in anger control, who knows.)

6.5 “maybe you two would like some time alone?” even AI can’t help hitting on dick grayson in this universe.

“oh mr grayson, if i only had another eye to see you better...”

6.8. on one hand, it’s a bit disconcerting that the title of ‘oracle’ has gone from barbara herself to this gigantic machine; from my impression of the comics-verse, barbara had an extensive computing and surveillance system, true, but she was very clearly the brains behind the operation. on the other hand, i’m kind of glad that the ethical boundaries that this kind of surveillance violates is a sticking point for barbara. (tho let’s be real, the nsa would kill to have this in their arsenal).

6.9. also it’s now obvious that scarecrow’s big plan is to take control of oracle itself. it’s why he had lady vic take that picture of her eyes, or why he’s meddling around with it on his computer.

6.95. if only i could ‘command sleep’ anybody overstepping their boundaries re: personal information...

7. “you can just sit back and watch as the titans destroy themselves.” i mean... he’s not wrong

8. “dick’s parents were killed by a criminal mob; he won’t work with them.” it’s wonderful that you have this insight into dick, kory, i just wish we could’ve watched some of these conversations actually happen on-screen.

8.5. i’m glad that kom’s being treated with such nuance and understanding, though it’s obvious that she definitely has a Plan of her own. (and did i entirely imagine her ability to mimic other people flawlessly at the end of s2? or is that going to come into play at some point?) i think her story has the potential to be genuinely poignant, and in a universe where being Different, either because of mental health or physical differences or whatever else, leads a straight line to Evil, it’s important to acknowledge and then emphasise that the mere fact of your existence as a Different Person doesn’t predispose you to evil. maybe your act of destroying a system that has destroyed you and not scrambling to “fit in” is only evil as defined by that system. 

8.8. “you’re trespassing, i should call the authorities, i feel unsafe.” now this is a villain lady who’s definitely aware of her privilege.

8.85. kom smirking knowingly at her sister is everything.

“oooh that’s the kory i remember”

9. conner and dick working together woo!

9.25. god i hate a villain who’s always just a step ahead, no matter what. so crane anticipated dick using oracle to track his personal communications and set him up? how did he know when exactly dick would get to do this? how long did he have that poor man tied up in that van?

(the “save me, grayson” is a nice touch, tho. send dick spiralling even further! because if there’s one thing dick will do, it’s take responsibility for every goddamn thing that goes wrong.)

9.5. ahem. i’m going to need a million gifs of conner yeeting dick across that yard, fandom, thankyouverymuch.

(i understand conner is invulnerable to explosions, but how do his clothes survive??)

9.8. oooh crane is already in oracle! i’m just sitting here laughing helplessly because they’re overpowering this goddamned guy so much. he can build a lab in arkham’s basement! he has access to lazarus puddles! he has minions working across gotham, including a fully functional chemical laboratory staffed by chemists who only answer to him! he has the crime families of gotham quailing in his very presence! he has assassins at his beck and call! he’s enough of a manipulative bastard to have red hood under his thumb! and now he has enough of a tech know-how to not only be aware of oracle, but know how to hack into it! i’m sick of exclamation marks! i’ll shut up now!

9.95. dick leaving behind that smouldering grave for a person he failed to save without taking a second to process how he feels about it and running towards his next plan to corner scarecrow: a microcosm of where his head’s at right now.

10. really hammering in the themes of this season, aren’t we. 

10.25. the interesting thing is the titans repeatedly call themselves a family this season (none more so than dick) and while that found family has helped encapsulate and put away their traumatic experiences with their ‘original’ families, it’s meant that they’ve not really dealt with those issues. and dick and gar and jason come from ‘found families’ of their own: they are twice removed, traumatised two times over. they still cling to this identity however, and because of it they’re losing each other. a family isn’t static. it’s an ever-evolving dynamic and you have to put in work constantly to keep it healthy.

10.5. anyway, that’s entry #2346. i’m here aaaalll night.

11. lookit gar the detective! half-transforming and using his powers to deduce things! what a hero! i’ve said this for a long time, but gar is the bedrock of this team, and an unsung one at that.

11.25. i’m confused about him calling this room jason’s though. it seems to me that this is dick’s room that jason later used, and one that dick’s using now. so the unmade bed isn’t really jason’s fault; dick was woken by barbara that morning, and in his hurry, he left without making his bed.

(it still confounds me that bruce didn’t find jason another bedroom in that gigantic mansion of his. you really didn’t give this kid a chance, did you?)

12. oh well. so much for the oracle.

13. ... sorry, wait. you didn’t think i wasn’t going to address the bit with dick right now, did you?

12.5. i honestly don’t think it’s very complicated: dick’s been reeling from one traumatic thing to the next, and just when it seemed like at the beginning of the season, he felt happy and secure with his team and his place in the world, bruce ups and leaves gotham to him, specifically naming him a successor and calling him a ‘better batman’. he’s lost garth and jericho and donna and jason and now hank and dawn. he’s not even sure where rachel is or what she’s doing. after being told that batman was a psychopath for moulding him into a weapon, he’s also been told that his failure to be a ‘better batman’ lead to further disaster. of course he’s going to get batman-goggles. of course he’s going to be a prick. 

12.8. i don’t know what to say. i feel his frustration acutely. i don’t think he should’ve said what he said to barbara (can people stop pushing her around this season????) but that pressure to step in where your parent fails? to clean up their messes and try to think like them? to fall into habits drilled into you when you developed them as coping mechanisms growing up? I FEEL THAT. 

every step he’s taking he’s putting 110% of himself in it and scarecrow’s still playing mindgames with all of them: i absolutely feel his desperation to take control of that game and turn it on scarecrow, no matter what it takes.

and he did apologise almost immediately, and finally--finally--actually works with barbara. 

12.9. again, not excusing him! but i get it. and i think that’s a sign of great character writing.

“did you know i just reminded emmram of all of her daddy issues? what the fuck????”

12.95. i love that dick&barbara, kory&kom, and gar are all approaching solving this mystery from different angles, each as valid as the other. also, conner is there as... emergency bomb defuser man?

13. it’s like all fancy rich people in fancy rich houses do is pour fancy rich alcohol into fancy rich glasses on pristine, untouched tabletops. i wonder what it’s like to live like that.

13.25. I KNEW IT! poor michael. it was nice knowing you.

13.5. man, kory is contending with a lot of issues that she’s successfully bottled up and compartmentalised until now. the cold reality that a child can seek out their parents as refuge and they can view the child as a piece to be moved in a greater game (never out of cruelty, though, never, and somehow that makes it worse), that truth of blackfire’s treatment on tamaran because she’s different, and her own culpability in what happened. she exchanged one family for another, after all, and left that family to die and her sister to suffer. like dick, like gar, kory’s being forced to reckon with what the titans are meant to be, the larger implications of creating their found family in their own space.

14. it’s probably because it’s one in the morning and i’ve had two glasses of wine but i did not follow that bit of exposition at all and victor freeze??? what? 

anyway. look at them solving things! together! go team!

“you made a deal with the mob?” oh the sense of betrayal on his face! fuck off, dick, your issues aren’t kory’s. 

15. conner is really sweet and a bit of an awestruck crush on kom is to be expected. especially after that power rangers-esque transformation (i say this as a former huge power rangers fangirl. i’ve seen every series until 2007 including the original japanese versions and written fanfic for all of them. so i love a cool costume transformation, is what i’m saying.)

also?

FUCK YEAH

16. i love the gotham crime families just chillin’ around eating ice cream. I LOVE THEM

16.5. that was a fun fight sequence, if marred slightly by that bit of awkward flirting between conner and kom. i wonder if she’s really planning to use him in a larger scheme to get kory back to tamaran, or maybe something else. 

16.75. so i’m assuming that scarecrow has jason either so paralysed by fear that he can barely move, or jason’s withdrawing from the drug that he’s been sucking in every few minutes. 

17. it’s nice to see them chill after a successful mission! and it can be awkward, but conner’s crush on kom and him striving to impress her is also, well, uh... cute.

17.5. i guess the dick/barbara scene was inevitable, especially given the... unresolved nature of their relationship in the flashbacks? and they’ve been through a rollercoaster together this episode, discovering and then destroying an incredible tool within a matter of hours, re-discovering just how well they work together as a team. dick’s swimming in the nostalgia. i don’t expect it to last as a long-term relationship, but i totally get why this is happening now. and hey, they’re cute!

i have a weeeirrrrd feeling that kory is going to leave to tamaran at the end of the season and that dick and kory will rekindle--or rather realise--their relationship just before that. it’s going to be devastating and beautiful and painful and i will be writing essays about it which would be me just wailing into the screen.

18. gar found molly!!!!!!! MOLLY’S BACK! \o/ gar is the BEST

19. that was a fun episode! i love this silly show, even if it does destroy me sometimes <3

[putschki1969]

Hi Puts, I have a question, but maybe it's too personal. As a fan, how much money do you spend? I think the three FC alone cost about $130 a year. Each shipment to Mexico costs between $20 and $50, including fees. Buying CDs, DVDs, streaming tickets, shop items, magazines (Idk if Hikaru and Keiko send something like Botanical Tsushin) I think is quite a bit of money. I graduated this year and recently started working, so I'm wondering how much money I need to pay for everything I want.

Hello there!

Don't worry, I have no filter so there is literally nothing too personal you could ever ask me. Also, I think it's important to be transparent about stuff like that.

Before I get to the juicy details I want to preface this post by saying that I am in a very privileged position so using my fangirl expenses as a general reference is probably not the best idea. There is free education and public health care in my country so I do not have any debts from either of those. On top of that I do have a job with a decent salary and my monthly fixed costs are comparatively low since I share the rent and stuff with my mum (yup, I am 30+ and choose to live with my mum, sue me). My company pays for public transportation, internet and a big portion of my meals. Last but not least, I have no car, no partner, no kids, no pets, no other social commitments or anything else that would burden me financially aside from my obsession with Kalafina so I am free to spend a considerable amount of my income on my "hobby" without having to worry too much about running into debt or not having enough savings.

Having said that, I will openly admit that I spend a SHIT-TON of money for my girls, much more than I am honestly comfortable with. Yes, I can more or less afford it but it still brings me a lot of pain and tears every single day.

Now let's get into the details 〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→ [Like you I will be using USD for easy understanding]

I honestly cannot tell you a definitive number since my expenses always change depending on how many events and releases are scheduled for a particular time period. I guess I can provide a rough overview of what I am currently spending on Kalafina since there are quite a few things happening right now (nothing compared to last December though).

The four FCs I am part of with their combined costs of roughly $150 are what I consider to be “negligible costs” and they are really my least concern in the grand scheme of things.

The streaming tickets are very cheap in my opinion and I would gladly pay even more for them if it meant I wouldn't have to spend a fortune on regular trips to Japan. But yeah, it's another $150 to $200 a year for various streaming events.

Releases and merch are pricey in and of themselves (incl. around $5-$10 of domestic shipping) but it's made even worse when you are crazy like me and buy multiple copies of something just to get special benefits. Recently I have ordered Hikaru's merch (~$100), Keiko's merch (~$50), Wakana's merch (~$120) and three *coughs* copies of Wakana's Blu-ray (~$220). I also made sure to purchase Hikaru's albums on iTunes (~$20) even though I already own the CDs.

International shipping/import fees is where the costs pile up and I usually end up paying anywhere from $20 up to $150 for packages. Austria has literally the WORST import regulations T_T

I also indulge in the occasional Kalafina fashion item so that gets pretty expensive too. But that’s just me so there is really no need to take these costs into consideration.

So yeah, you can expect to spend a LOT of money depending on how greedy you are. :P Being an overseas Kalafina-fan sucks! However, I have two tips for you:

Prioritising is key! Find out what’s most important to you and then make peace with the fact that you will never be able to buy everything because that’s just not reasonable (unless you are filthy rich :P). I obviously focus on digital and physical music releases because that’s how you support their solo careers. I know it’s tempting to pirate this stuff but I urge all fans to make those purchases. The same applies to live stream tickets. If you have the means and the event is foreigner-friendly, please go for it! Aside from that, you will just have to choose your orders wisely. Ask yourself the questions: What kind of benefits do I prefer? What merch am I most likely to use? Any merch I am particularly fond of? Make sure you don’t end up overspending. While I keep encouraging fans to spend their money, you should always do it within reason. 

Cluster your orders! If you are using a proxy service like Tenso or Buyee, it’s best to have items arrive around the same time so you can consolidate your packages (within the 30-day period). After all, there is nothing more frustrating than paying $20 on shipping for a tiny fan club magazine that’s basically for free. So before you make a purchase, check the scheduled shipping time and try to make your orders align with each other. And also try to pay attention to the shipping dates of FC-related items, that’s not always easy since the schedules aren’t exactly regular but you can at least get a feel for them. If a FC item happens to arrive at the warehouse, you could always use that opportunity to order some in-stock goods or releases you have had your eye on. They should arrive quickly so you can ship them together with the FC-item. Please note that this will of course increase shipping costs/import fees since your packages will get bigger/heavier but I think at the end of the day, you are still saving money.

I know it’s often frustrating and intimidating to navigate through the world of Kalafina but I hope my posts can at least somehow help to alleviate the the stress that comes with being an overseas fan.

[dailydnp]

Daniel Howell: 'If young people aren't supported it's going to screw everybody'

In our latest report for this year’s Guardian and Observer charity appeal, we talk to the Young Minds ambassador and YouTube star

Please donate to our appeal here

Daniel Howell has spent the pandemic in “a slight apocalyptic nuclear bunker”, with terrible internet. It is quite the revelation for someone who shot to stardom documenting his life on YouTube, with his channel reaching more than 6 million subscribers.

Speaking over a Zoom call, the former BBC Radio 1 presenter jokes that his routine “of watering house plants” and “peering out the windows” has been interrupted. But despite the dystopian glaze overshadowing 2020, he has not found this year as hard as some.

“I mean, I will be honest. I’m one of those chronic introverts that’s mildly agoraphobic,” he says. “We were probably more predisposed to survive a pandemic. So this lack of human interaction, I’m not hating it. But maybe on some level, after an entire year, I’m like, OK, I could have maybe seen a person?”

Howell’s candid discussion about his mental health, often using humour to talk about difficult situations, is what marked out his YouTube channel for such success. He uploaded his first video, entitled “hello internet”, on 16 October 2009.

After a hiatus, in June 2019 he came out as gay in a video. He discussed the homophobia he had dealt with, particularly in school, to the point of a suicide attempt when he was a teenager. He is now an ambassador for Young Minds, a charity helping young people struggling with their mental health.

The reaction to his videos inspired him to work with Young Minds, one of the Guardian and Observer’s 2020 appeal charities in support of disadvantaged young people. “I felt like, OK, well I’ve got this audience now, that they care, they give a shit, and they want to do something about it. I want to do something about it.”

The pandemic “really makes you appreciate the little things that are there”, he says. It has made people take account of what is good for their mental health, something “that all of us really should be doing more often”.

On the flipside, Howell thinks it has highlighted the dire situation of mental health services in the UK. “We talk about the good of the NHS. And even in the last few years, when the conversation about mental health has been much more of a priority on the table, it’s still not nearly enough. I mean, you look at some of the statistics, and they’re all going in the wrong direction.”

He says that rather than just “token investments from the government”, there needs to be a cultural shift to “actually understand and prioritise mental health”, with a focus on prevention rather than cure. “Particularly for young people, it’s about intervening for the few people that are at the point of crisis,” he says.

Howell says he did not get much help with his mental health as a child, and as a result he has carried a lot of damaging behaviours with him into adult life. Since coming out on YouTube, he has taken a bit of a break and is now writing a book about mental health. Telling his YouTube followers about his sexuality was a big moment, he says, and they saw everything through his videos, from his breakdown at university to struggling with depression.

“I’m stood here now as someone that really feels like I’ve taken the first breath of air in my life, because anyone who struggles with their mental health, you feel like you’ve got to keep your head down and keep struggling through it to maybe get to that place where you feel like you have the safety and security that you need,” he says.

His journey online made him realise that some of the issues he had with his sexuality were fundamental to the reason why he had always struggled with depression. Aged 28, he “was starting with a blank slate” for the first time, he says.

But he worries about the future of the generation reaching adulthood now. “I mean, it’s a shame, isn’t it? The state of university in this country is a complete scam. The fact that these people are being told everything’s fine. They’re taking out these horrendous student loans, only to be trapped in their accommodation with online classes and everything’s being cancelled.”

He says it is easy, if the government thinks a group does not vote, not to be represented. “But you know, if you’re expecting them to be your caregivers in 30 years then you need to make sure they’re going to succeed in life at literally any aspect.

“If these people aren’t given some support to become functional members of society then it’s going to screw everybody. So I definitely think it’s one of the balls that has been completely dropped. And you know, young people are thankfully quite energetic and resilient, to be able to survive it, but they should absolutely not have to put up with it. And it’s gonna come back around with some consequences.”

Howell hopes his new book will help those who may be going through what he went through growing up. He now knows on a fundamental level how to make himself feel better. “I understand how to be mindful, how to take myself out of my head,” he says. One of the most interesting things he learned while researching for the book, he says, is the power of knowing you are not your thoughts. He says that in our modern lives we are trapped in “these sterile environments, mostly trying to solve mental problems in our mind”.

“We just become prisoners of these intense thoughts and emotions,” he says. “Learning how to step back and get some perspective from that is important … If you catch yourself, while you’re boiling the kettle, going into this negative thought space, just to learn how to go actually know how to snap yourself out of that … really does make a difference, and not just about thoughts and feelings. It just makes you a more successful human, better performing and completing tasks.

“So it’s not all about yoga, and going on, you know, expensive trips to a retreat. It’s saying, if you want to be a functional human that can rise to the challenges of your life, you need to understand how to be the master of your mind.”

If you are a young person struggling with your mental health, advice and support is available on the YoungMinds website, including information about how to get help. If you are a young person in need of urgent support, contact the YoungMinds Crisis Messenger by texting YM to 85258. Young Minds’ dedicated helpline for parents can be called free on 0808 802 5544 from 9.30am to 4pm, Monday to Friday.

[glittergelpenstudies]

Burnout Tips

I've been struggling with burnout for almost two years, but lately, it's been especially bad. I've had to find new strategies for coping with daily life, so I'm now sharing some of my best tips for dealing with a difficult burnout:

Spoon theory

Let's start off with the lifesaver that is spoon theory. In case you haven't heard of it, spoon theory is a tool intended for chronically ill and other disabled individuals to help visualise the finite amount of energy used in a day to perform various tasks. However, it also works wonders for burnout; I always used to beat myself up and not understand why I had to lie down and rest because I got physically exhausted from listening to a lecture or why I wouldn't be able to study for the number of hours that I had intended, simply because I had gone grocery shopping in the morning, when that wasn't the case before. Usually, the tip you get for being mentally exhausted is to either rest for a little bit or do something physical, like cleaning, to recharge mentally. However, those tips don't work for me, and that's because neither my body, nor mind, operate like that anymore, so there were 3 realisations I had to make:

Just because I have the time to do something, doesn't mean I have the energy to do it.

From now on, my mind and body work as one unit, so mentally drained = physically drained.

Energy is a finite resource, so once it's used up, it's used up.

These realisations are what caused me to give spoon theory a try, because although I don't have any kind of disability or chronic illness, spoon theory is still fairly accurate to the way my mind and body operate.

With that background in mind, here is how to use spoon theory (as I've understood it and currently use it):

Every day, you have a certain number of spoons (the units in which you measure your energy). I usually have 26 spoons for instance.

Every activity costs you a certain number of spoons, for example, studying for 1 hour = -4 spoons, showering = -3 spoons, cleaning for 30 min = -5 spoons, etc. The number of spoons each activity costs you is up to you, and it's also up to you what activities you consider draining enough to decrease the total number of spoons.

If you use up more spoons than you have in a day, you will have fewer spoons the following day. As I said, energy is a finite resource, so if I use 30 spoons in a day, I'll have 22 spoons the next day.

Basically, rather than planning my day according to what activities I have time for, I must limit myself to the activities I have energy for.

Doing things differently is NOT doing things badly!

You can't make pretty, handwritten notes and instead only annotate lecture slides? Good! You're getting lower marks on tests, that are still good enough to get by, because you're too exhausted to study for higher marks? You're valid! You're taking a year off from school to rest and recover? Amazing! Basically, what I mean is that there is no right way to do things and the fact that you're prioritising your health is a victory in and of itself.

You'll have to compromise.

Here's the inconvenient truth: Just because you want to do something doesn't always mean you'll be able to. You're always going to have to put your physical and mental health first, even if that means putting off studying for a test in favour of showering and cooking a meal. And yes, it does suck that you'll have to postpone that phone call with your friend because you used up that energy going grocery shopping, but that is what self-care is at the end of the day - It isn't always going to be bubble baths and chocolate, because it's not about what you want, but about what you need.

However, it's sometimes possible to cut corners. Maybe, instead of taking a walk today, you can just sit outside for a while? Maybe you can just clean the sink today and clean the rest of the bathroom some other time? If you get exhausted from standing, maybe try performing tasks while sitting down as often as possible (if you don't already)? You'll have to get creative with using your spoons, but there's often room for compromise.

Be compassionate with yourself, even if others don't understand your struggles.

This point doesn't just go for people struggling with burnout, but people struggling in other areas as well.

People around you won't always understand what you're going through, and that's okay. It doesn't necessarily mean they have ill intentions; a lot of people just haven't experienced what you're experiencing, and can therefore not relate to your situation. They're going to jump to conclusions, make assumptions about you, and give you tips that just don't apply to your situation ("Just sit down and drink some water and you'll be fine", "You're probably just exhausted because of your sleep schedule", "You just need to practice self discipline", etc). Some people might get impatient and annoyed that you're not performing as well as you used to and that you don't seem to be getting better (or at least not within the time they think it should take for you to recover). This is to be expected and it's awful.

It's very easy to fall into the rabbit hole of self doubt and frustration when you're constantly being misunderstood or questioned by people around you, but just remember that other people's preconceived notions don't define you. You're not lazy, you're struggling. You're not weak, you're exhausted. Questioning self-deprecating thoughts is extremely difficult, but can take you really far in accepting yourself as you are and in accepting your situation.

I really hope that these tips were helpful! Feel free to add your own if you wish 😊

[bintturaab]

There's something about the finality of endings that resonates within me more than the promise of new beginnings. Maybe because of it's symbolic significance, or something. I don't know. I don't really celebrate New Years or anything, nor does it have much of an importance to me in terms of resolutions, etc. But still. Reminiscing the ending of the past year, and the past decade, just makes me so nostalgic and melancholic. Not only did the past decade shape me into who I am today, but even 2020 was one of the most significant years of my life despite all the crazy. There are things that this past 1 year taught me, that will always stay with me. Some new things I embraced and some old things I was finally able to let go, that is bound to shape my future self bi idhnillah. 2020 was insane, a whirlwind of emotions, lots of ups and downs, and full of lessons too.

Some things I've learnt and realized this past year:

You will get over the most painful experiences and emotions that you thought was impossible to move past. That's the thing about this world; its temporary in its very essence. Which means all the pain and heartbreaks are also temporary. It may not disappear, but it will become small enough to not burden you anymore.

Ease, comfort and reassurance sometimes comes from the most unexpected places, from the least expected places. That is the beauty of tawakkul, it never lets you down, sooner or later.

Cherish all relationships in life because you never know who is the one who'll come to your aid when you need it.

The biggest, most positive impact something can have in your life are righteous companions. Their advice and reminders and just talking to them, is the greatest treasure ever wallahi. The best people in the world are those who push you towards the pleasure of Allah.

Whatever step we know we should take for the sake of Allah but we're delaying it for this or that, those are nothing but excuses due to our weakness. Being firm and decisive when it comes to obeying Allah, opens miraculous paths. What you always thought would be difficult, Allah عز وجل makes it easy. It really is up to us how far are we willing to walk towards Allah, how much of the dunya we're willing to sacrifice for His sake.

The satisfaction obtained when you choose deen over dunya, can't be compared to anything else.

Allah has sent down the Qur'an as a healing for what's in our hearts. Reciting it with the intention of shifaa during emotional turmoil does wonders. (Not undermining therapy, but this is an underrated practice that should be revived)

It's okay to take time and pause and to go a bit slow in life if that's what you need. Life isn't a race or a competition, and there are no expiry dates on us. Different people have different needs and paces when it comes to growth and healing. We need to allow ourselves time. And that's okay.

Taking a break and spending time with nature and going for holidays (mini or otherwise) does wonders for your mental health.

The biggest gift we can give ourselves is being true to ourselves and our principles.

Having self respect is not being selfish. Sometimes, you need to prioritise yourself, especially when no one else will.