#but maybe ive just been around too long
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
act 4 :(
@chipper-smol and i came to a realization
#THID FUCKING GAAAAAAAMMMMEEEEE#i have more i wanna draw but my hands not working orz.. maybe ill get around to it later idk#i finally FINALLY managed to get inside that star room.. my own clone!! now neither of us will be virgins!!!!#i dont have anything to go off of but when the journal mentions making another 'me' it reminds me of loop saying theyre like a mirror#theyre always able to read siffrins mind without actually reading their mind (or so they say) but maybe it could just be tone matching???#or smth like that.. idk if these two things are connected though so maybe its more like subtext#i hope im not the only one who made the childrens hospital joke when it came around to color lore part 2#im also getting the sinking feeling of watching siffrin toe his way near the deep end like bro is so so close to losing it#i feel like if i knew nothing abt the game beforehand and why siffrin is looping in the first place my feelings abt this would be different#cuz id be pretty angry too if ive been stuck in a loop long enough to feel like everyone around me is pretending nothings wrong#than the fact that i have decided not to disclose im in a time loop and that everyone is living this day for the first time#although i also get hes doing this for a reason and when u believe in the universe i guess it also comes with sunk cost fallacy#'this is the path the universe led me down before i even knew what i wanted so all i can do is double down' THATS THE FATALISM TALKING#puppy plays isat#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#isat act 4 spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sona#puppysona#friends#chipper#doodles
784 notes
·
View notes
Text
isat pokemon au, my liege?
my rambling in tags
#my art#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#pokemon#siffrin#mirabelle#isabeau#odile#bonnie#i am not individually tagging pokemon sorry. floragato eevee ursaring scorbunny meowstic <- for anyone who does not know them#im personally a big fan of when artists mold pokemon designs like clay to fit their characters so i tried to channel that#siffrin really does have the perfect mystery dungeon backstory. washes up on a beach with no memories of their past type of deal yknow#i imagine that he was still a sprigatito then? and evolves at some point during their journey? dont ask me for details i dont know them#veryy tempting to make him an absol but ive already seen that done very well!! so i kept most of these to floragato sif#mirabelle being an eevee is suuuch low hanging fruit sorry. i could not resist the evolving pokemon not wanting to evolve trope#i was concerned that sif was no longer shortest party member until i realized they just stand on their back legs all the time to feel talle#when quadruped like mira he is still shortest. sorry siffrin#isa gave me such a hard time. like i never thought i would turn a character into ursaring of all things but it really was the best choice#my other choices were bewear or pawmot if you care. he’s so bear coded#if going purely based on looks i probably would have made odile a sneasler. but i wanted her to be psychic#ill be honest bonnie was purely vibes. they carry the treasure bag :)#never draw bonnie's hat in profile worst mistake of my life#loop is still cat shaped here but i’ve seen the idea of them changing species thrown around. much to think about#i like the idea of the party seeing sif and loop side by side and immediately clocking their entire deal#the change god is mew btw. very important information to no one but myself#eurasie as hisuian zoroark?? lots of hair. and the king can be darkrai#don’t mind the inconsistencies. me and my 2781 ways of drawing the same character#wait what does an eevee look like again. googles it. oh i really crabbed this one up#uhh. looks around. been sitting on this one for a bit too long i think. maybe ill clean up some more sketches later
200 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey, just wanted to reach out to say that I found you pointing out and calling this person was really great and you shouldn't have apologized. It was incredibly true what you said, and to be honest it seems out of touch with the reality of a great deal of the japanese fandom, the nuances and their culture. Also, it was as you pointed out, extreme and may I say rude. I want to mention too that the way it was written, as if entitled of the knowledge and the 'explanation' made it all worse in context of the 'fucked up'. The original poster always gets away by using the 'well-written academic'' statement of their 'metas' as an excuse to do or say and make everyone else agree and if not, uses victim narrative and discourses exactly selecting wording for people to agree on it or feel bad.
I don't know if they tagging you in the way they did made you reblog and apologizing/backing up, but no one thought bad about you pointing it out. On the contrary, a lot of people had been bullied and discriminated by this person when they called them out/disagreed going onto lenghts of sending their friends to harass people, and the other persons can't even defend themselves because they are effectively blocked. To quite a few people in the fandom has been done, even accusing them as 'acephobes' (when they're not) or even Nazis by spreading lies. So yeah, I just wanted to say that. I think you were right to call them out publicly.
Thank you very much for this ask. To be completely honest I agree with everything you said here and don't actually feel bad about pointing anything out. I mainly apologised because I didn't want any potentially poor phrasing from my side to cause unnecessary hostility and because I myself have gripes with this person's behaviour but didn't want to cause a scene.
My honest opinion is that they have a serious issue with taking accountability for their own mistakes and highly overestimate their own intellect. If you're reading this, @thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai, sorry if I seem harsh, but it's true. I saw your post lamenting how you're the only academic meta writer / fan in the fandom and I didn't interact then because I honestly do not care enough to start that drama but with the information Blonndiec has just given me, I think it's necessary that someone calls you out.
You're not an academic. You're not beyond the mental capabilities of other fans. You're actually incredibly childish in your metas and analyses and I am not kidding when I say that I was halfheartedly writing essays more academic than every analysis I've seen from you when I was barely a teenager. I don't know how old you are and I frankly don't care. You're not as clever as you think you are.
Also, don't think I didn't notice that you didn't reblog my correction (link here to my correction and here to their "response" for those who didn't see that exchange) of your post so that you could control what your followers saw of the exchange. You're the opposite of an academic. You control information to tailor the narrative, you don't cite your sources properly if at all, you don't format your posts in anything close to how an academic analysis would be, you make unbased claims, you reference posts and canon material without in any way indicating where that information is from, you reference your own (equally unacademic) metas and your conclusions from them without indicating what post it's from or that it's your own theory this new one is based on and instead present it as a common fact, and I could go on and on and on. Your posts are also riddled with logical fallacies and you talk in absolutes and opinions when there's no canon basis to claim such things. I'm sorry, but that's not academic in the slightest.
To be clear, you don't have to be an academic to post on the Internet. You don't have to be anything at all. You could up front be a genuine idiot with no remorse and that's fine. But when you claim to be an academic and also put down the rest of the fandom for not being on your level, you have to be able to back that up. It'd still make you sound like a prick but at least your arrogance would have a basis. It currently does not.
I haven't personally seen the discussions that Blonndiec is referencing and I'm not going to claim anything definitive (because that would be unacademic of me, take notes) but if what they're saying is true and did happen as described, which I have empirical, if anecdotal, evidence to believe could very well be (a friend of mine has personally been blocked by you after they criticised you without actually mentioning your name which I of course can't prove is the reason for the block but the timing is awfully convenient), you should know that you should be ashamed of yourself.
If there's context missing, feel free to enlighten me and call out any incorrect accusations. You have every right to defend yourself. However, I encourage you to cite your sources since you're such an academic. If you don't, then it's just your word against Blonndiec and anyone else who might comment's word and that doesn't prove anything. Don't misunderstand, acephobia and nazi rhetoric should absolutely be called out but only if it's actually happening. False accusations can ruin lives. I hope you know that.
I'm not a fan of calling people out publicly and, again, thank you for this ask, Blonndiec. But considering many of the issues I've personally seen and those I've been informed of by second hand sources were posted publically, I don't really feel bad about calling this out. I could do a full breakdown of just the insulting "academic" comments alone and how there's no academia to be found in said academic metas and, Samurai, if you give me reason to, I will show exactly what I mean point by point (and academically just to give you an example of even low level academia).
If you respond to this, do it in a reblog. That's what a real academic would do. If I'm wrong and you can prove it, you'd have no reason to not show my post in your rebuttal. If I'm right, you'd have every reason to be upfront about your mistakes and how you intend to rectify them. There's nothing wrong with being wrong but there's a lot wrong with refusing to admit to it in a way that lets others peer review you (academic thing, look it up) and come to their own conclusions about the situation. That's what you did when you just @'ed me instead of reblogging my response. A true academic wouldn't hide a peer review. You'd know that if you were one.
I swing in many academic spaces and yet that doesn't make me any kind of expert and I don't claim to be one because I'm not. But since you want to be one so badly, reblog this with a response and show us all how smart you are. I'm dying to know what your academic take on this is.
#sorry to any moots and followers reading this for going off like this#this has just been weighing on me for a long time#i have absolutely zero issue with someone just making posts about a thing they like and things they think about#it doesnt have to be any kind of academic in the slightest#citing sources is not necessary to be a part of fandom#but when you make such a bold and demeaning claim that actively puts down the very fandom you claim to be part of#im gonna get pissed#we are not your underlings and you are not better than anyone else#maybe this is my inner jantelov shining bright here but this is exactly what the modern jantelov is for#calling out people who think theyre better than the rest based on nothing but arrogance and ego#trust me this is not how i usually try to sort problems but ive had it and i think everyone should know#ive personally fallen victim to the “explain away with half baked arguments and appeals to emotion” tactic from people#its very easy to want to give people the benefit of the doubt#so as someone who knows and has experienced how easy it is to fall into that trap i want to point this out to those who might not notice#its very easy to miss#but i didnt miss it this time and im not letting anyone else miss it either#when you start forgiving this type of behaviour youre only a step away from letting them walk all over you#suddenly youre wrapped around their pinky and you wont notice until the light from the exit dims so much that you cant see at all#ive been there#im not letting you go there too#to be clear this isnt a this person issue but you have to catch this behaviour the moment you see it otherwise youll catch it too late#im only being this up front about it because i want you to be able to recognise when someone actually dangerous does it#its a kind of pipeline#i want you to notice in time#ask#yuri on ice
83 notes
·
View notes
Text
That one meme but with poorly drawn sonknux
#i don't really care if its already been done..#ive had this idea for so long T_T#they are silly like that.#i feel like it would be the other way around in non-boom canon and i think it's funny#so yeah...#sonknux#boom sonknux#sonknuckles#he's having an interview btw... or maybe hes just confessing that to Amy idk#this is a joke btw!!#please dont take it too seriously!
49 notes
·
View notes
Text
maybe the real voltron was the friends we made along the way
#so i finished. feels like they did not put a lot of thought into shiro or hunk's epilogue lmfao#overall i dont think it was Bad. it could have been better yknow. but again. it feels like they just needed a little extra time to breathe#in development. it's just bones.#i do think perhaps some of the criticisms i have seen of it are just from people pissing on the poor#i could fix her!!! ough i really do want to rewrite this sdnfksjfd but that would unfortunately require. having to watch this again#and i cant do that in 24 hours#im so sad this is disappearing. this is the only show for which i ever stayed up for the midnight PST release#back when only season 1 and maybe 2? were out i used to watch them constantly. sometimes in spanish to practice#like i wouldnt have ever finished without the threat of it leaving but this is the worst timing to reawaken my affection for it lmao#grateful for it. wish i hadnt waited so long#i did need time to forget the insanity tho bc if i had made myself keep going and finish at the time#it would have poisoned the ending i think. nice to finally watch those last 4-5 episodes with a fresh perspective#but at the same time this is How Many Years ive missed out on being able to talk about it lmao#maybe there is a renaissance. idk i havent looked into it too much but i guess i should now huh#we'll see if things are any different or if it's just the same shit i got tired of the first time around#but anyway. the show is still fun and i enjoyed it for the most part. very sad to see it go#mine#voltron
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
enver gortash fascinates me from the perspective of his relationship with the dark urge because like, as far as i know his alliance with them is one of the very few he didn’t actively despise. the guy was sold into slavery by his own parents (who tried to justify it by saying their child was a hateful monster and anyone would have done the same) and spent his formative years employed by a devil who gets off on gratuitous levels of suffering and manipulation. and then once he's escaped that and built himself up so he can never be used and enslaved again he meets this bhaalspawn who also had to adapt and survive a violent and manipulative environment for years by becoming the monsters who raised them.
gortash sees how the dark urge has risen to command armies and slaughter hundreds in the same way he outfoxed raphael and ruthlessly controls the people in his employ, and after earning and owning his reputation as a tyrant heres another person who might actually have like, a shared lived experience. not exactly a friend, because people like them can't afford to have friends, but someone who at least understands. and he willingly works with them on this plan to enslave the sword coast and agrees to share power with them.
and then orin lobotomizes them, puts a tadpole in their head, and leaves them for dead at moonrise.
like, can you imagine. youre working with the first person you see eye to eye with and prooooobably arent plotting to actively sabotage (or, at least would hesitate to do so) and the rug just gets yanked out from under them by their own sister, and now you're stuck with her because the plan still has to move along. and as the days go by a group of adventurers start to screw up your plot right when baldur's gate is within your grasp, and you learn that among them is your old almost-friend who you actually liked and respected - and they have no memory of you whatsoever. oh, and on top of that they're rolling with people you've actively fucked over and want to kick your ass.
did it hurt for him to learn this? did he ever think about how things could have been different? did he think, you were supposed to be my ally, my friend, someone who actually understands that becoming a monster is the only way to keep yourself safe and in control. we were going to rule together. and now you're ride or die with this squad of people you've only known for a few weeks at best, and you want me dead. you don't even remember me. you don't even remember yourself.
#thinking about it from my durge's perspective hurts kinda#because losing their memory is the only thing that freed them enough to trust the people around them#and after meeting gortash and learning their history - and how they used to be friends#they probably thought a lot about how things could have been different if there wasnt a literal elder brain under his enslavement#like man if you werent actively in the way of saving the literal world maybe we could have talked about this#if i can overcome a lifetime of senseless slaughter and learn to love i wonder if you can too#but we'll never know#bg3#baldurs gate 3#the dark urge#enver gortash#im sure someone has talked about this already but ive just been thinking about it a lot ig#the what-if-ness of it all#long post#pin talks#bg3 gortash
144 notes
·
View notes
Text
when will someone pick izzy up bridal style and spin him around? hm?
#it Would upset his tummy but i think he deserves a little holding. as a treat#to be cradled. and spun around with joy#(honestly to me i see this only working as bellhands i dont think izzy would let anyone else get away with it- maybe ed but. thin thin ice-#and i see izzy being too stressed about eds knee to get to unbridled laughter. so sam . hes just appeared; for the first time in a long#time. he sees izzy [they have a little reunion (depending on ~circumstances~ that could just be yelling affectionately at each other like#hey i haven't seen u in a year- or if its after faking his death i see sam getting punched. just a little) they get to kiss a bit etc etc]#then sam just. sweeps him up in his arms. izzy yells in shock and demands sam puts him down but sam just. holds him tighter and#spins him around in pure joy. and izzy laughs#(this; more than anything shocks the crew. they thought the rest of it was shocking- sam bellamy likes izzy???? theyre married???#people think positively about this man they all hate???? wtf wtf. izzy punched sam and got away with it?? the prince of pirates?????#but then izzy is laughing. and theyre astounded. they didn't think he was capable of that. maybe they never knew him at all)#djjdhdhdj ive been. thinking about this. A LOT. today so here#have a ramble about izzy (again)#if izzy not for cradling like lover; why small?#nyxtalks#ofmd#israel hands#izzy hands#bellhands#sam bellamy#i think i went off enough in the tags to quantify those fjdjnd
184 notes
·
View notes
Text
Been thinking about idw1's outliers lately, and how sort of wild the whole concept is from a worldbuilding standpoint, and it struck me that most confirmed outlier abilities tend to be really useful, or flashy, or powerfully dangerous, and few to none tend to be like, really boring, or totally impractical, or even entirely useless? Which, doesn't really make sense when considering the fact that outlier abilities are seemingly random.
Surely not everyone who's born an outlier gets something useful?
And I don't mean like, "good" useful, but any sort of useful, even if that means you can kill people with your voice, or give a power boost by exploding yourself, those are still "useful".
But surely there had to be some with abilities that were totally impractical, or nonbeneficial, or at the very least just insignificant or purely aesthetic and pointless?
#mods. enhancements. and artificial outlier abilities are a different thing. with plenty of room for error and drawbacks#but being born inherently an outlier by the sheer whim of. idfk. primus or the planet itself. what's the chances there???#this definitely has to have been discussed before. i'm just too lazy to dig for it rn. but yeah. its a fascinating concept either way#idw transformers#tf idw1#mtmte#lost light#maccadam#maybe thundercracker's sonic booms count. but those have some use. also its funky. so he gets a pass i think#i had more thoughts about this earlier when i first jotted the thought down. but ive forgotten them now >:/#basically its just funny to think of like. shockwaves school and all. going around like ''what can you do?''#and you've got the group we see in the flashback. and then like. some guy whos like ''...i can change the color of energon''#or like. ''i can float! but only like... three inches off the ground''#i cant think of every example. but go down a list of useless superpowers and there ya go#omg. wait. if rewinds whole color changing deal was legitimately a outlier thing. i guess he would count#also. in a similar vein. its really funny to think of outlier abilities as like. stats and stuff? plus 1 to so and so but negative 1 to etc#so abilities had a sort of cost. this is smth ive seen here and there in fics and stuff. and its great.#but its sorta funny to think of working in the opposite way too#take misfire as an example. bcs its funny. negative boost to aiming. but positive boost to evasion#less of a chance to hit smth. but also less of a chance to be hit by smth#idk lol. sorry. ive been doing a lot of gaming lately bcs ✨️stress✨️. so ive got a lot of dumb stats rolling around in my head lmao#also its 4am. so... coherence has long gone to bed before me lol#struggling to sleep again tonight. but more so for anxiety reasons. all these federal job changes are hitting very close to home rn#it'll probably be fine tho. probably. got a lot of other personal shit to worry about anyways. like my fucking medical files being tossed?!#tricare when i get you. when i fucking grt you omg. i didnt even serve. why am i suffering omfg#sorry... thats off-topic. so its probably best i uh. put myself to bed. at 4am. so. goodnight and good morning 🥲👍#tf idw#tf worldbuilding
12 notes
·
View notes
Text


my cds (and cassette tape) finally arrived in the mail today!!
#I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS#was getting 10 cds and a cassette tape at once maybe a bit overkill? possibly#but i saw the bogo free sale banner and my brain lept at the chance to get more cds for half the price lol#i feel like my collection might be growing a bit too fast esp considering i only started collecting them this fall#but also I HAVE A WHOLE PILE OF CDS NOW LOOK AT IT THERE'S SO MANY AND THEY'RE MY FAVORITE ALBUMS TOO#it's like seeing blorbo from your music in real life in your home#just looking at a cd and being like !!! i literally listen to you every day i didn't know you were also Real#the difference between having something only on your phone even if you still see/listen to it a lot and having a Physical Thing is massive#just. i haven't even opened these up yet they look so pretty im just staring at them in awe while typing this rn#ykw 10 cds is a lot to unbox all at once and if they have extra stuff on the inside too i don't think I'd be able to fully appreciate it#i think im gonna save some of the unwrapping for later as a lil treat maybe for when im having a bad day#so i can come home and unwrap it and look inside and get that serotonin boost#just a lil something i can look forward to in the future :3#they said money can't buy happiness but it turns out i just did and my happiness comes in the form of physical media lol#and ykw i think this is a pretty sweet deal like if i had to choose any hobby to spend money on this would be a great choice#it's cheap you get to support your favorite musicians and you get infinite dopamine out of it (well as long as the cd lasts ig)#just. im still looking at them i cant believe the pictures and sounds from my phone are Real and i can touch them now#...it's probably gonna take a while for me to get over the awe and actually open them up and start looking inside for goodies and stuff#ive been meaning to take pictures of the cool stuff from the precious cds that i got but i still haven't gotten around to it lol#just. the emotions are too big. even just looking at it brings me so much joy that if i opened it up to find more stuff inside#it'd be too much for my brain to handle and it would just explode or something lol#anyway i think that wall of text is long enough so im gonna go admire my cds some more now#mine#cd#cds#cassette tape#music#reminder#for later#<- and that is so i actually remember to open them up and look inside instead of just admiring it like a painting
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
played mouthwashing... good game
#i have many thoughts. maybe i will write them out eventually but im too eepy rn#ive been meaning to play how fish is made for so long. i think i'll finally do that now lmao#reminded me of indika not storywise but just the effective use of the Game Medium#also probably hit even more bc ive been having a lot of thoughts lately about the way some people approach art#solely as this thing that is supposed to revolve around them and make them Happy#who then get angry when it makes them feel Big Emotions and/or doesn't perfectly 'represent' their experiences#part of enjoying art is looking at it critically. it's experiencing new perspectives. it's feeling big emotions both positive and negative#and sitting with those emotions and then asking ourselves Why the artist has done this#sometimes the point is to make you miserable and that doesn't automatically make it bad#anyways. good game
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Thinking too hard about Aviae and Zevrans friendship and it's making me Ill
#dragon age#oc: aviae surana#crow rambles#you look into the assassins eyes and you see a twisted mirror of yourself. of the internal struggle between the want of survival and the#want of it all to end. you hold your hand out to him. this will change both of your lives forever#and when the archdemon is dead and your lover has left you and the pieces you had been frantically trying to hold together fall apart and#shatter. he holds out his hand to you.#THEY MAKE ME SICK. SICK. IM NAUSEOUS OUGGHHHHH#both of them are living for the first time. both of them grew up trapped in a gilded cage. they recognize it in each other#theres a certain instant understanding between them. maybe neither of them notice it but they both warm up to each other very fast#aviae has reason to be wary of everyone in the party: alistair was almost a templar. morrigan is. well morrigan. wynne is too pro circle for#aviae to truly let down her guard around. leliana is too attached to the maker for her. ironically the assassin is the one she bares her#throat to willingly. she sees the reflected desire and WANT of survival in him. the longing for freedom. it just. oughhhh#ive said it before but if zevran had showed up sooner he would have been her canon love intrest#however i MUCH prefer their friendship it does something to my brain chemistry#she can just be so??? bare and honest with him?? when she tells him about the circle and its horrors#about waking up to friends missing. about templars eyes lingering where they were unwanted. about the constant surveillance she went through#he GETS it. i get why people are so ill avout zevsurana bc their friendship alone has me about to sob#it is 2:38 am and i cannot fall asleep bc i am thinking about them. insane
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
the apartmentverse urge to make the assassins weird immortals due to interacting with the apple who all survive to the modern day and have to Deal with mundane things like public transport…
#they should have a support group about it#ezio would start it. im not sure how high attendance is. probably not very high or consistent.#but like they do have it. technically. they can find the few others who understand what the price of interacting with the pieces of eden was#they’re probably much more The Old Guard than apartmentverse technically but i do need to make altaïr and ezio just hang out. maybe go#through a mcdonalds drive through together. get some mcnuggets.#still covered in blood but it’s dark out so the employees don’t see as they hand their food off. and they climb on top of a warehouse to eat#together. i don’t think they’re… friends? in the way you’d think of friends normally but its more like. when you go to primary school with#someone and they become your friend because you have such a limited pool of options but they���re your friend for life because of that shared#experience. ezio & altaïr are that but for being forced into immortality when they both wish they could have left this fight a long long#time ago and now everyone else they’ve known and loved are gone and they’ve even lost track of their descendants because well. after a while#there’s just… so many.#the other assassins should go through this too. i genuineky dont remember if bayek found any eden artifacts but i like him so he should be#around. and maybe his wife. evie & jacob of course. and the ac3 protag i havent met yet.#also that pirate guy. i played ac4 for five minutes ten years ago but im claiming him he should be around#the point is. when you’ve been around this long. all the other disagreements pale in comparison to that shared weight.#and the point of THAT is. if the templars ever found out about this and kidnapped one of their group. suddenly like a dozen assassins with#hundreds of years of experience each descend on them to free their friend.#they may not be able to dismantle the templars completely even working together. but they can sure as hell protect what’s theirs.#the other point of this is desmond getting accepted into this weird little group.#they’re not *not* also a cult to be fair but-#ohhhhhh thinks about 16 year old fresh runaway desmond on ezio’s couch (he likes having his own place. so sue him. altaïr’s the one opposed#to settling down. like it’ll come back to bite him to choose a home. (and ezio’s in denial that having a home will always one day mean#leaving it.)) and *anyway* teenage desmond fresh off the farm and months without a home. probably *not* agreeing to be brought home with#ezio per say. and altaïr is there because ezio kidnapping children is *weird* and maybe altaïr is not technically the oldest assassin but#he sure does seem to take responsibility for all their actions like he is. anyway. he questions ezio. and all ezio has to say in his defense#is. is. ‘look at him.’#and for now. before they know *who* desmond is. for now he has a spot on ezio’s couch because he looks so much like a younger altaïr.#the end of the world and all the prophecy can come later and desmond *probably* gave ezio a fake name so he can also freak out when they#learn that little detail as well. BUT. but. you get it#ive rambled on too much here
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
A Word-Filled Update
that no one's asking forrrr~
Sooooo, hiya~ ^^
Realized I kinda dropped out without much word, and wanted to give a lil update to anyone who may care, (and specifically to all the unfilled requests that have been sat in my inbox for months now T~T)
Dropping it under a cut because it gets quite long~ but I'll also TL;DR it with: been a bit burnt out, trying to get back into this, I apologize for all the unanswered asks, and I will be trying to get to the ones I can, but I'll be focusing more on trying to enjoy the process of making content~ Thank you to anyone who's stuck around <3
(Tw for brief mention of mental health/neurodivergencies~ nothing in depth or dark, but just incase anyone wants to avoid that <3)
Nothing serious has been going on, mostly just burn out and a bit of drama in main friend group, combined with free time just being a lot more limited recently~ (not a bad thing, most of it is because I'm getting to talk more with friends I've gotten closer to this past year~)
That said, I've been trying to get back into content, making it, reblogging it, etc, without letting it become all-consuming. I find, with the way my brain works, mostly to do to some wonderful neurodivergent tendencies, I tend to fall heavily into 'all of nothing' mentality.
This shows up in my day to day life, (ie: can't wash the dishes for weeks until I suddenly do them all in one day) and I've definitely noticed it with content creation. Need to write and finish a story in one go, record a wav as fast as possible, always afraid I'll lose that motivation.
But honestly? I love making content on here! And I'm not a huge blog, nor do I care if I am (at least trying not to, if I'm being painfully honest~) but I genuinely love making content. Whether it's just for me, a request that I am hoping one specific person will enjoy, or a story I write with a community in mind, I just love creating~
So, I'm trying to ease my way back into this! Bit by bit, let it be fun, and enjoyable, with less internal pressure to produce as much as I can, as fast as I can, and make it be perfect.
I won't lie and say 'numbers don't matter to me', if I'm honest, they do. But I'm learning more and more how to let it be about the content, and to just enjoy the process~ (and if people like it, that'll be a wonderful bonus!~)
Wooo this is getting so long, I apologize sincerely! Last thing, something I've mentioned a few times previously but never really let myself get into... requests~
I'm so honoured that people care about my content enough to have asked for things, and getting any ask, request, praise, ask lists, heck even just a 'hi!' is honestly the best part of this blog for me!
Buuuut, I definitely worked myself into burn-out before with a "every request needs to be filled and fast" mentality, that led to just... not filling any.
So! I'm going back through my inbox, and deleting some older ones that I don't have a clear vision/motivation for. I apologize to anyone who requested them, though by now it's possible they're long gone~ But I think this will help me not only start enjoying the creation process without feeling so overwhelmed, but also start actually getting more content made~
There are definitely a bunch that I still adore, and am thrilled to get to test out, but if there's one you remember sending, and you really want to see it completed, please feel free to send another ask saying what it is you want done, and I'll see if I can get that going <3
And if you've stuck it out to the end here- uh hi! ^^ I'm sorry this is so long, I'm such a words person, but I appreciate you so much, not just for any support you've offered, but just bothering to read this <3 I genuinely didn't expect most to make it this far, so thank you so deeply <3 and I hope to see you guys around as I start reblogging stuff more!~
#waterfalltalks#waterfallrambles#more like waterfallparagraphs im so sorry hahaha#been thinking about making this for awhile- but always felt so anxious???#idk why specifically... maybe cause i cant be short to save my life#or maybe because it feels like ive left it too long?? been promising so much and never fulfilling#but i am gonna try!! not to fulfill everything but- to start enjoying it again#i worry this comes off like i have an ego... i really dont haha~ i dont expect anyone to really interact with my blog or care#it was always meant to be for ME- and i just hoped to create things ID enjoy and that#if anyone else enjoyed it too that i could start giving back to the community thats given me so much content ive adored#anyways this is a LONNNGGG post and so are these tags hahaha~#using this blog as a journal again i think! but its mine! so okay! im gonna let myself!#gonna add here too that i might be reblogging with shorter tags for a bit- i promise its not cause im not excited!!!#just trying to make it the least overwhelming situation so i can start really getting back into ENJOYING it~#thank you to anyone who read this far and a huge thank you to all my friends from here and anyone who stuck around <3#i appreciate and love you all so dearly <333#not snz
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
bored
og panel under the cut
#homestuck#doodle#homestuck panel redraw#maybe??#idk im just messing around with my art#low effort#still tryna fight the art block#its so bad i cant#ive been staring at this too long im starting to not like it
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#aye. in another life i would have loved to be an illustrator#i dont like to do digital tho and i dont wanna b a starving artist and i like science too much#but it would make me so hsppy if i was allowed to draw all day everyday#forever and ever drawing#but nooo i wanted to get a phd in microbial evolution. and im procrastinating working on my preproposal#literally doing anything to not work on it. i coulf have been a illustrator. an endocrinologist. a neurobiologist. a paleontologist. but i#chose microbial ecologist then thought no fuck ecology and went for photosynthetic mechanisms#bc i do love my lil cyanos and i do love Microbiology. i love those underapprecated lil guys#the world is so big and beautiful and all i wanna do is understand. but my stupid brain doesnt work right and ive burried my wonder for so#long i wonder if ill ever have it back. i was reading a bunch of lil notes i wrote this semester and i go from#everything is so beautiful i cant stand it. there are angels in the sunbeams and they feel like healing. to im the world around me is#warping beyond my control. i cant feel any joy. my head is sending me terrible ideas but im not even scared. it feels inevitable#but last week i was so full of energy i couldnt sleep. nothing changed but the chemicals in my head#hopefully next semester will b better and i can stop feeling like damaged goods and feel bad fro my advisor#for having to deal with me. hes v nice and has a bip0lar brother so he's sympathetic but i wish he didn't have to b#i want to stop fantasizing about being something else and just focus on being better at what i am#but im such a pathological perfectionist that its so difficult to make any progress. but whatever ive been feeling alright for the#past week or so. hopefully that carries through. and maybe somedsy i can illustrate something for my precious baby cyanobacteria#unrelated
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
I just realized I can just grab the next jumping spider I see and put it in a terrarium and just. Have a pet spider. The only thing stopping me rn is that its the middle of winter and a lack of information, but that gives me plenty of time to study! Its just gonna kill me waiting to actually Do Anything abt it (except clean my room so there's less chance of them getting lost agsjsgj)
Anyways seasonal depression hits different when you finally realize you wanna be an entomologist but I was able to find a good sized jar and some mesh table liner stuff to use for the top, so it'll be nice and easy to mist it down and provide plenty of air for the little baby!
I have free will and I will use it to Aquire Bugs >:]
#my mom said she fully supports me and my dad is chill about bugs as long as they arent on him#and my sister no longer lives here and doesnt need to know#this is whats gonna motivate me to get my shit together#and I live by the great lakes so theres live bait in pretty much every gas station#i just need a steady job so I can pay for them#maybe i could apply at the gas station? easy access to bug food and theres 2 in town#plus theres a subway in one and dippin dots in the other#and i have a friend from high school that works in one so maybe he can help me :)#and if I get my room clean I can move things around! so i can work on the layout too for now#its the first time in forever ive felt like my life has some direction#and I'm gonna take an online course in wildlife conservation to start :D#and I found an online course in entomology I can take too :]#the wildlife conservation one is for a bachelor's degree so that should be a good start!#im gonna ask my therapist to help me make a five year plan and help me stick to it#with things I can get done in five weeks‚ five months‚ and five years :]#first I gotta get my sleep meds bc im so tired#theres so much i wanna do with my life and im gonna make them happen#and ill be the first in my family to go to college! once I get my bachelors and a stable job i wanna go back for a doctorate#i wanna be a bug doctor#sosososo bad#entomology#it only took me 24 and a half years to figure out what to do with my life lmao#ive been happy stimming so much its insane#i wanna get a camper van too so i can travel around looking for bugs :3
2 notes
·
View notes