#but massive amounts of life lost that could have been used to help others

[prince-princess-bunny]

This story is kinda silly, but I just want to share it with someone who also cares about plants

When I was in high school, I discovered I love tomatoes and I would eat them like apples. One time my parents had brought home some tomatoes and put them in the refrigerator (I now know not to do that). I opened the fridge door quickly and one of the tomatoes fell to the floor. Luckily, it only split a bit, so I rinsed it off and put it back. The next day, I went to grab the tomato, but there was something different.

Now I know fruit can’t heal itself, but it looked like it was healing. Some kind of film had developed over the split, and the skin around it looked taut, and the split was smaller. I have no idea what kind of reaction happened in that fridge to make it look like that, but my brain told me that tomato was healing itself and I suddenly became acutely aware of living things around me.

For an entire year, I refused to eat anything raw. Hamburgers were fine. Meat is already dead when you eat it, their suffering is over. After a year, I realized I couldn’t live like that. I had to accept that life sustains other life, all the way back to when the first single celled organism ate another to get the nutrients it needed.

For a long time, I’ve believed plants have an intelligence that we just don’t understand, maybe even a consciousness (largely influenced by Star Trek questioning what makes life). It’s been wonderful to see science make discoveries and more people coming around to the idea that plants should have as much respect as animals, and not just seen as “living machines” (on that point are all just technically living machines)

One of the things that struck me about Robin Wall Kimmerer's perspective when I was reading Braiding Sweetgrass was the way the ethical obligation to life she discussed contrasted with the colonizer's culture.

It is increasingly popular to find it inherently unethical and exploitative to kill animals for food or to farm them for animal products, and instead eat and wear "plant-based" things. This is an impulse toward ethical treatment of non-human living things.

But this way of seeing animals as "lives" and behaving accordingly, depends on seeing plants as non-lives. Asking whether we have ethical obligations toward plants is so absurd, it's dismissed as trolling.

I've known many people who farmed or hunted animals who had a great reverence for their lives. Some people would think that this is not genuine and that it is never morally acceptable to take a life for your own use.

Kimmerer discusses Indigenous use of animals. But when a tree needs to be cut down or a plant uprooted, there is the same vivid awareness that a life is being taken, that the plant's life is A Life.

Now I'm troubled by the dismissal of plants as providing total freedom from guilt and moral responsibility among many people and organizations who see animal life as deeply sacred. Plant based products are cruelty-free alternatives to animal products and plant-based diets mean nothing had to die for your meal.

I understand not wanting to support cruel industries or being uncomfortable with eating animals, but the more I learn about plants, the less I believe that all animals have something all plants lack, that means we have moral obligations toward animals and not toward plants.

Plants are incredibly unlike us, but they respond to their environments, they communicate with other plants, and they engage in behaviors. Objection to potential plant intelligence and sentience (ability to feel) is more cultural than scientific; we are just only beginning to scratch the surface of the inner world of plants. What if we have to respect plants as life? What does respect mean then, if we have to explore the idea that it doesn't necessarily contradict taking life?

[qqueenofhades]

I think its genuinely fascinating how Biden has somehow become the bad vibes sin eater for the party. I'm seeing people who were doing the whole "voting doesn't matter both old men are the same" pivot hard into voting as harm reduction. The anti voting rhetoric has COMPLETELY lost The Youths on tiktok. People suddenly remember the good things the Biden administration has done but don't associate Harris with any of the things they didn't like. In my swing state volunteers are signing up in droves. People feel ENERGIZED, the vibe shift pre and post Biden dropping from the race has just been insane

Y'know, that is a... good way of putting it. It's also why I'm quite sure that Biden has probably been planning it for a while. I don't think he was intending to step down, and didn't want to be forced out at the drop of a hat, but after he realized that the circus was never going to stop until he did, he did the honorable fall-on-his-own-sword thing and definitely, DEFINITELY spent some time choreographing this behind the scenes. Because while the roll-out has been very smooth, it could just as easily (as many of us were expecting) have been a total disaster, and that doesn't happen without SOME planning. It's also entirely possible that the campaign staff flipped from Biden to Harris are superhuman, to come up with a massive online roll-out, new branding, new signs (they had plenty of 'em in Wisconsin yesterday), new everything, but I'm guessing it's a combination of both. Biden has spent his entire political career being underestimated, and after we literally made a meme out of Dark Brandon juking the Republicans out of their shoes, we should definitely give credit where credit is due in how masterfully he pulled it off.

Because we have had eight years defined by the central question of Whether The President Is a God King Who Should Serve For Life (the MAGAts obviously think yes), the sheer idea of a president willingly giving up his power BEFORE he had to is also novel and admirable. It's sad that this is the case, but so be it. The Republicans also got a heaping helping of Be Careful What You Wish For that was undoubtedly brilliant; they've been yelling for years that Biden is old and frail and can't serve and should step down. Biden went "lol okay" and gave it to them, and now they're fucked.

Aside from that, on the most basic level, it's far, far easier to see the actual difference in the parties with Harris as the nominee, just because it shows that one party is willing to make progress and reflect the new demographic reality and social mores of America, and the other one is not. Now to be clear, Biden deserves an incredible amount of credit for coming out of retirement (he was ALREADY 77 years old when he became president and had had decades of a long and respected career in public service behind him) to fight, beat Trump, and deliver an incredibly successful presidency. He held the line against authoritarianism at home and abroad, he rescued the trashed American economy and managed a world-leading recovery from Covid, he stood up for democracy, he spent four years filling the benches with liberal judges to reverse even some of the Trump/McConnell hack job, he finally passed comprehensive infrastructure investment and the Green New Deal under the name of the Inflation Reduction Act -- and so on. Many of these priorities had been languishing for decades or were completely trashed under Trump, and he could not have done so much in just 4 years without all that age, skill, and experience. Hence why all the Ageism!!! was (aside from being a Republican/media smear job) dumb. He's able to do the job because he has had decades to study. Turns out that makes you actually pretty damn good at it.

Yes, Biden could not do as much as he wanted or originally planned, had to deal with MAGA Republicans and Joe Manchin/Kyrsten Sinema sabotaging him the whole time (lololol Manchin, possible possessor of the World's Biggest Ego and with Trump around that's saying something, popping out of obscurity to self-righteously announce he would not be willing to be Kamala's VP. YEAH ASSHOLE. LITERALLY NOBODY ASKED YOU. NOBODY WHATSOEVER. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS AT LEAST WE WILL SOON NO LONGER HAVE MANCHIN IN THE SENATE). And yes, Biden made some serious mistakes of his own, because he IS from an older generation and a different style of doing politics/different beliefs that no longer resonate with the younger segments of the electorate. But this old white Catholic guy at the age of almost 80 still managed to be the most progressive president ever, coming in at a moment of incredible domestic and international crisis and getting us safely to the other side, and all cynicism, criticizing, and caveating aside, he deserves an incredible amount of credit for that. I mean that absolutely, and I am very grateful.

As I said, willingly relinquishing that power takes guts, and when Biden saw the writing on the wall that he had to sacrifice himself, he took his time, he didn't jump too early, and he didn't jump too late. On the most basic level, it becomes a hell of a lot easier to make the "both parties are not the same" argument when one is running a (comparatively) young brown woman and the other is still running their loathed felonious old demented orange traitor. Most Americans are not plugged into policy minutiae and details. They look at Biden-Trump, they see two old white guys. When you take one of those old white guys away (who goes in a self-sacrificially heroic manner and in sharp contrast with the coup-happy fascist) and put Kamala Harris in there instead, it generates an obvious jolt. People can see for themselves that there is a real difference that doesn't rely on closely reading news and tracking complex policy, because as noted, most Americans simply don't. The brown first-generation American daughter of brown immigrants is a quantifiably different story from "old white guy career politician," which for better or worse is how Biden was seen, especially the old part. We needed that establishment expertise to beat Trump in 2020; I still think Biden is the only one who could have done it, and as noted, we owe him a great debt for doing so.

However.... 2024 is not 2020, and it is not 2016. There has been this HUGE and unbelievable swing to Kamala because she represents the antithesis of what the last eight years of Trump-induced anger, fear, panic, chaos, and hatred has stirred up. That's why people are so ready to rally around her, just as they were (I daresay) around Obama in 2008, after the exhaustion, chaos, war, and mounting economic misery of Bush. Trump has been out of office for the last four years, but his shadow over the American political landscape has been omnipresent. Now people know that we finally have a real chance at getting rid of him forever, and just as Biden was uniquely positioned to capitalize on that in 2020, so Harris is now. Which is why, however tough it will be, she has a real shot at winning. I can guarantee the Republicans know that, and are shit scared. Because the Black Lady Army of Democracy has indeed arrived in force to Get This Shit Done and I don't know about you, but I found that incalculably comforting:

Yikes! All lined up for Kamala pic.twitter.com/Dt4OCDp7WX

— Alex Cole (@acnewsitics) July 24, 2024

This, at the most basic level, is what scares fascists the most, it's exactly what we need now, and what Harris is uniquely positioned to mobilize, along with her gangbusters appeal to young voters:

This is the energy we need. This is what Biden saw and planned for and which he launched us into, and where all that experience and age paid off. This is why people, even people otherwise disengaged, disillusioned, or checked out of the tedious and mind-numbering drudgery and depression of American politics, are responding to it. Because it's easy to understand, it offers hope, and it tells a very simple story that is nonetheless long overdue:

Thanks so much, Joe. Go absolutely waste that orange fucker, Kamala. We got your back.

[kaysungshine]

𝓛𝓸𝓯𝓲 𝓛𝓾𝓼𝓽 ♡

{ Pairing } - Producer.bf!Jisung x afab.gf!reader

{ Genre } - NSFW; s/f/d(dark)*, PWP, established relationship

{ Synopsis } - Your boyfriend doesn't know any other method of stress relief, other than creating music. He can get so consumed by it, it can become the stressor. So you decide to present him with a new method. That's how you found yourself walking down the street in nothing but lingerie and a long coat.

{ WC } - 2.9k

{ Warnings & Tags } - 18+ MDNI, *forced orgasm/slight dubcon if you squint, everything is consensual but there is begging for more when reader might be at her limit so that's why I'm including dubcon (for those who may find it triggering)*, use of pet names (baby, angel, mine, my love, good girl & Ji), very lowkey needy/soft dom & romantic sub dynamic, worshipping reader, oral (f. recieving), squirting, overstimulation, unprotected piv (do as I say & not as I write, pee after sex too!), creampie, cum feeding & eating, fingers in mouth, pussy worship, I may just have gotten carried away with oral fixations okay? FORGIVE ME.

{ Disclaimer } - This work is in no way associated or depicting the actual life of the members of SKZ. It is a fictional piece of work, and I do not own Stray Kids. All works of fiction are loosely inspired by SKZ, and in no way am I saying it is true to their character.

{ A/N } - I originally was going to post a Hyunjin oneshot next, but I wanted to finish this one in time for Jiji's birthday! It's 2 am on the 14th where I am heheh. Hopefully you all like it. Han producing music will always be hot asf for me personally lmao. Barely proofread.

The air was cool, seeping underneath your long wool coat. In any other circumstance, on a late fall night, the coat would be enough to keep the chill out. Today however, it wouldn't. But you still kept walking, determined to make it to Jisungs studio. 

You focused on the clicking of the heels on the boots you wore. And the sound of the wind picking up, signalling a blustery night ahead. The small sounds calm your nerves. 

You were anxious about Jisung's reaction, he was in one of his moods again. You understand, you truly do. Juggling everything he has to on his plate, it was no easy feat. There were times he'd just let that dark veil take over, and shut everyone out without even meaning to. 

You knew he was in that state again when you hadn't seen or heard from him in three days. It wasn't for lack of effort on your end either. Every phone call sent to voicemail, every text sent by you was met with the same response;

'At the studio, I'll text you after, angel'.

You knew it was time for intervention when Chan texted you that he was only coming home, at 2 in the morning no less, to shower and change. No eating, no resting, just back to the studio afterwards.

This had happened twice before in the almost year you've been dating. Each time you remember talking with him afterwards, he always said the same thing;

'making music is my stress relief.'

That may be true, but it doesn't change the fact that he is also a workaholic. One who easily gets lost in the creative space he has built a career off of. And once that diligence sets in, it's hard to shake off. 

So here you are, ready to try a new approach. Ready to offer a new kind of relief. An alternative. 

You and Jisungs sex life was far from boring. Far from infrequent, you'd say too. But it surely was more... monotonous. You'd never complain about it, and neither would he. There was nothing wrong with it. It just happened at the 'perfect' times in your relationship. 

Before bed, after date nights, on monthly anniversaries, to express massive amounts of love, etc. 

It was never to celebrate happiness, calm anger, or comfort sadness. Never to relieve stress. 

You were determined to change that. There was no reason you could not help him in any way you could. And in this aspect, you knew you could. 

Still, you were nervous. This would be new, he never did well with new. 

Your footsteps stopped, leaving only the sound of the wind in your ears. Until you pressed your badge against the card reader, listening to the beeps, to the gears unlock. 

Once inside the lobby, the clinking of your heels against the vinyl tile filled your ears. Each step matches the thumping in your heart, you find yourself speed walking.

 You smiled and gave a little wave to the staff in the lobby, and they returned it. 

In the elevator, the sound of its melodic music filled your ears next. The whirring background noise the machinery made, stopped, as you reached your desired floor. 

There was silence when you stepped off. The flooring is carpeted now, and soundproof rooms lined the hallway leaving the night quiet. 

You took a deep breath and made your way to the door you knew was your boyfriend's. It was unlocked, thankfully. 

You let yourself in, seeing the silhouette of your boyfriends back facing the door in the blue lighting. 

He was all about ambiance in this facet of life, having LED's lining the ceiling. The only source of light in the room, besides the glowing screens of his monitors. 

He was sat in his chair, headphones on, hood up, head nodding in tandem with his fingers tapping. 

You took the opportunity to slide your boots off. Opting to keep your coat on, you brushed your hair over one shoulder. You took your badge from around your neck, and tossed it on the leather couch that was against the wall. 

Padding your way over to him, you place your hand on his shoulder lightly. He tenses under your touch, and turns his head. He's frowning when he first faces you, eyebrow furrowed together. 

When he sees you though, he softens. The corners of his mouth slightly upturning to a small smile. 

"Baby..." He whispers, sliding his head phones off. Soft lofi music is filling the room from them. 

He grabs your hand off his shoulder, bringing it to his lips. He's pressing soft kisses to your palm, and placing it on his cheek. 

"It's late my angel, why are you here?" He says in a husky voice with more volume. 

Your heart flutters at his gentleness, and you bend down to press your own lips to the top of his head. A musky, yet spicy vanilla scent fills your nostrils. His scent. 

"I'm here to help you baby." You murmur to him softly. 

That caught his attention. He fully swivelled around to face you, taking both of your hands in his. He gazed up into your eyes, a curious look on his face. 

You smiled down on him, feeling nothing but love for this man. You'd relax him in any way you can. You placed a hand on each side of his face, bending down again. No more words were said as you kissed him. As your hands slid down his neck, his found themselves on yours, pulling you closer to him. Matching your eagerness.

You let your hands fully slide off him, and tilted your head to deepen the kiss. Your trembling fingers were working the buttons on your coat. One by one, releasing the fabric from your bare skin. 

You stood up, letting the coat fall from your shoulders.

Jisung lets out a soft gasp, and licks his lips. 

Exposed to him, was his favorite lingerie you owned. It was a bra and panty set, satin and lace. Revealing. 

All white. 

Your boyfriends favorite part. He always said that the contrast against your melanated skin was a work of art. He joked about commissioning Hyunjin, if he didn't have to see you essentially naked.

So here you stood before him, presenting yourself to him. Silently willing him to do as he pleases. To take your body and use you to decompress. You were too nervous to say it.

He traces the swell of your breast with a finger, curving around the delicate lace. It's a simple touch, but it still sends a shiver down your spine. Goosebumps blooming on your skin. 

"So sexy." He mumbles, eyes roving your whole body. 

He stands up, kissing you desperately, and walking you back to the couch. Your knees hit the back of it, and you're forced to sit. Lips ripping away from his, panting at the desire in his eyes. 

All your nerves were gone. New or not, it would never change the fact that Jisung craved you as much as you craved him. 

He held himself up with his hands on the back of the couch, and hovered above you for a moment looking you in the eyes. 

Then he was sinking to the ground, on his knees, between your legs. His hands smooth over your thighs, making them pliant with soft kisses, before he spreads them open. Your pussy is glistening behind the lace, and he licks his lips again. 

His hand glides from your thigh, to your heat. Thumb brushing against that sensitive bud, the friction eliciting a whine from you. 

His eyes snap up to you, and he holds your gaze as his tongue licks a stripe up your clothed core. The tip of it flicking deliciously against your sensitive clit. 

"Mmmm..." He groaned at the taste of you, "All for me?"

You moan at his tongue swiping against you again, and again, "All for you, my love." 

His fingers hook underneath the band of your underwear, and he peels them off you. He's whimpering, watching as strings of your arousal stick to them. The cool air is hitting your sex, before puffs of hot air from his mouth is. And you're shivering again at the sensation. 

A gasp escapes you when his tongue slides between your folds. Lapping up your juices, and suckling at that bundle of nerves. You listen to the wet sounds his mouth is making against you, along with the broken melody coming from his head set. You get lost in it. 

Your hand finds his hair, and you're grinding against his mouth. He's whimpering and moaning with you, one hand palming at his bulge. The other has fingers teasing your entrance. 

You let out a loud moan when two fingers push into you, and your grasp on his hair loosens. He takes the opportunity to get air, panting, mouth hanging open. His cheeks, chin and lips all shine in the dull blue light. 

His fingers continue to pump into you as he watches your face contort for him. He's smiling with lidded eyes, basking in the fact that he's making you feel so good. 

"Ji..." You moan, needing more.

"My beautiful baby, let me worship you a little longer." And he's diving back down.

His tongue focuses on your clit, and fingers coaxing that gummy spot inside you. He's pulling moan after moan from you, making out with your lower lips, bringing you closer to the edge. Your thighs start trembling around his head, and he has to grip the fleshy part of one of them to stop you from squeezing him before he's finished. 

You're spilling over the edge, body alight and your release coating his fingers, and face. He's lapping up every little bit, determined to taste your pleasure on his tongue. Only when you start to whine from constant overstimulation does he stop. 

He's kissing his way up to your lips, leaving a wet trail behind him that you couldn't bring yourself to care about. 

You're not sure when he managed to discard his pants and boxers, but you feel his hard, bare length pressing against your inner thigh. 

He's rubbing his member against your pussy now, letting your slick and his saliva cover him. Kissing your neck as he's rocking against you, he whispers, "Angel, do you have another one for me?"

Of course you did, you knew you did. You needed to feel him, you needed to please him. So you started nodding fervently, eyes rolling in the back of your head when he sucked lightly near your ear and jaw. 

He had a grasp of his cock now, dragging the head through your folds with added pressure. Each squelch of your juices sounds like music to your ears, anticipation building in your body.

"'Gonna make you feel s'good." He's whining into your neck. 

He has your legs around him now, as he fills you slowly, both of you savoring the sensations it brings. Your pussy spasms around him, and it has him grunting. 

"Always feel so good squeezin' me..." He mumbled, letting you adjust, "...exactly what I needed..." 

Then he was pumping into you, and you felt it. All the frustrations he was holding onto, all the stress, all the vexation. He was translating it into the energy he used to pleasure you. Letting go of it all. 

You couldn't hear the soft lofi music coming from his head set anymore, instead the slapping of skin and heavy breathing mixed with moans were filling the room. You'd never be more thankful for a soundproof space. Neither of you were holding back. 

Your moans only being interrupted by quiet curses, and his being peppered in between praises of how good you feel for him. He made it known he was chasing your high before his, begging you to cum for him. 

"Please angel," he whispers against your lips, "need to feel you cumming on my cock."

His pace became quicker as he kissed you, and his hand slithered down to play with your clit. Your back arched off the couch at that, angling him deeper inside you. He groaned, and his thrusts faltered for a second indicating he was close. 

Regardless he was determined to finish you, and his tone grew more demanding, "Be a good girl... cum for me, angel."

And that was all your body and mind needed to let go, legs locking around him and body shaking. Your hands slid under his hoodie, and nails dug into his back. It was the kind of intense orgasm, that your moan got stuck in your throat, instead a rough growl coming out. 

You sounded absolutely feral for him, and you were. 

That was what pushed him over the edge, a slew of curses leaving his mouth as his hips stuttered. With a final harsh thrust, he cums deep inside you. All of the negativity has dispersed from his body, and he collapsed back to his knees. 

You're both panting, trying to catch your breath. You jolt when you feel his fingers in your folds, over sensitivity taking over yet again. He's spreading you open, hypnotized by the way his cum is drooling out of you. 

"So perfect, fuck." He says as he drags his finger through it. 

He's bringing it up to your lips, and your mouth opens instinctively. You're sucking his finger into your mouth, his essence salty but familiar on your tongue. 

His eyes are locked to yours as you work his finger, licking it clean. He slips a second finger in your mouth, letting you cover them in your saliva before he dips back down for a taste himself. 

You're whining around his fingers when his tongue glides against your clit, and your hips try to retract into the couch. Quickly, he has both hands on your hips, securing you in place so he can continue tasting you. 

"We taste so good together, my love..." He's mumbling against you. 

His words will never fail to coax submission out of you.

Your hand flies back to his hair, as good as it feels you're trying to pull him away. He's just burying his face deeper, tongue dipping into your entrance to make sure he's tasting everything. 

"Ji... s'too much... I can't-" You're pleading, even though you feel yourself succumbing to the overwhelming brushes of his tongue.

He hisses when you finally succeed in pulling him off you, "Please angel," He's begging again, "Just one more. I know you have one more for me." 

"Fuck, Ji, I-" 

He silences you with his tongue flat against you, another lick up to your clit "Please, need to hear you cumming one more time for me." He whines and starts leaving sloppy, wet kisses on your pussy. 

You always knew he was more of a giver. That even though it was you who had cum twice, and he only once. He preferred it that way. Even if he was the one needing the release more, he thrived more on your pleasure.

"Just be gentl-" You try to say, but cut yourself off with a groan. 

He's eagerly slurping at your core. Lost in the moment, all he has is your pussy on his mind now. Messily licking and lapping at every inch. He's shaking his head and moaning into it, keeping you pinned in place by your hips. 

You feel another orgasm starting to build quickly, clenching around nothing. He risks you bucking your hips roughly into his face, and takes a hand off your hip. He's pushing two fingers into you yet again, and you're seeing stars. 

His fingers curl, and his lips close around your clit, sucking lightly. You feel your release slip away from you, and your cumming on his face again. Yelling his name. He only grows more determined.

He leans back so he can watch the beautiful, writhing, mess he reduced you to. The thumb of his other hand is replacing his mouth, continuously flicking your bud. He doesn't slow his movements as you ride out your orgasm, instead picking them up. 

Your world turns white, and you feel yourself squirt on his hands. He's watching you in awe, whispering more praise for you as your juices spray over him. 

"So fucking sexy, my good girl."

"That's it, let go for me, let it all go."

"Knew you had one more in you, all for me."

"My perfect angel."

It's when you start to slip into that floaty space that he finally stops. He doesn't want you too gone, he's limited in the care he can provide here.

He's positioning you to lay on the couch, and he's laying behind you. You're both wet and sticky, and heaving for air. Yet, it's blissful. 

You lay there for what could've been minutes or an hour, you weren't sure. You were content in each other's touch. Your arm reaches back to caress his head, fingers combing through his hair. He's humming. 

"I love you." You finally murmur. 

"I love you more, angel. Thank you for this." He says, and kisses your shoulder. 

"You caught on quickly to my idea." You giggled.

He laughed with you, "I caught on halfway through it, actually. I was just beside myself with desire for you." 

You blushed at that, and you were thankful he couldn't see it. 

"I mean you showed up in my favorite set..." He whispers and starts toying with the lace on your bra, his finger slipping underneath to flick your nipple, "In ONLY my favorite set. How could I not show you how much I admire you." 

You felt his length harden against you again, and he rolled his hips slowly as he gripped your hip. 

You knew the night was far from over. 

As for how you were both going to escape and clean up? Well that was a problem for future you. 

Taglist:

@eczlipse @sailor--sun @maisyyyyyy @jupire @prettiichocolateprincess

@meowmeowminnie @joyofbebbanburg @adieu-lisette @sleeping-beau-tay @staytinyluv

@lookitsjess @majorlymismanaged @kpopsstuffs @helloimacalumgirl @bbokarimenu

@bubblepop-stay @mauvemelon @ohhlittlegirl @ang4lheart @spnwinchestersd

@adieu-lisette @loud-minhoe @juwire @anylady-fics @antisocialties

@nebugalaxy @wowitsafemale

As always, please let me know if you'd like to join the taglist. And if you do, pretty please interact with my fics besides liking (ie; replying/commenting/reblogging). Although I will always appreciate liking as well! Feedback is always cherished! ♡

But again, please be gentle in your criticism! I am but a sensitive soul.

[i-starcreamed]

Since you enjoy the trope, how about "only one circuit slab" with your choice of bot? :3 you know who my #1 is but go with whoever you think it would be most fun with. (If you want a more specific setup I'd be happy to toss some ideas around with you)

hopefully these are good...i had to go with OUR #1 and a couple other bots :3 although you already know that bc you helped with the silly ideas. did not edit this btw my bad if its all over the place

also human reader!! These turned out way longer than I thought, I think idk how to write headcanons and end up writing short imagines but eh, I was inspired

Post includes -> Swerve, Rodimus, and TFP Ratchet

MTMTE Swerve

A completely normal day on the LL, Swerve had closed down his bar for the day and you had stayed back to talk to him even as the last bot left the place. Being the friendly bot he is, he offered to give you a ride back to your room which you accepted

As you rode down the halls of the ship, Swerve mentioned how he has been looking for a roommate for like, ever, and since his room was big enough for another bot it was surely perfect for you.

You agreed of course and he immediately made plans to show you around his humble abode

Well guess what?

You turned the corner and instead of seeing his room there was a big ass crater in place of it

Your jaws dropped and agreed that he can stay In your room instead...at least until his room is rebuilt. Roommates, right?

Only problem blessing was that you had one bed

After some light arguing of who sleeps where, you both settled that you'll sleep awkwardly next to him where he wouldn't crush you and he would turn the other way. You settled down and stared at the ceiling as you stiffly lay there, wanting to give him his space. He respectfully gave you your space but continued to try to make conversation, although it was a bit awkward since you two weren't facing eachother

Another problem arose, you were on the edge of the bed and weren't use to not being nestled into your blankets, the ship was cold, you started shivering.

"I don't even know if you can hear me right now, I mean its not that muffled right? I can always speak a little clearer or louder but I shouldn't keep you up. Are you tired yet? I don't want to-"

"Swerve? Can you turn around?"

He turned and faced the ceiling while his helm turned towards you, he was about to inquire but was immediately silenced when you started climbing him and put down your pillows and blankets on his chest.

"It's uh, its cold. I could always move if you mind th-"

"No."

He blurted out. You could feel the metal beneath you radiate pure heat, more than usual. It was comforting. You sigh and lay down, cuddling up against your blankets and well, him, the best way you could. You could feel the soft hum of his spark beneath you, it was comforting. You didn't pay attention to the way your face heat up as your eyes fluttered shut

Swerve could only lay there, absolutely frozen. For once he was at a loss for words and he wondered if you could tell his spark felt like shooting out of his chest

He slowly reached out, his servo hovering above you for a second. You said you were cold, right? He hesitantly placed one servo above you, it ever so gently cradled your sleeping form.

You bet with that amount of warmth you got the best sleep of your life

He was NOT able to recharge that night. On one hand, he was keeping you safe and warm. On the other, the massive grin on his face would not go away

Maybe his room should get destroyed more often, or just maybe he can delay the reconstruction of it

MTMTE Rodimus

The LL had gone onto another one of its expeditions and you just so happened to have gotten lost with the most reckless but endearingly dedicated mech

It's been hours since you've been treading along this strange planet and during that time, you found out that the locals are not human-friendly whatsoever

It gets to the point where the two of you have gone way too long without any rest/recharge, Rodimus has sent an emergency signal and hoped that someone from the crew would find you two soon. However it gets apparent you both need to make a stop before you both pass out from exhaustion, especially you

Rodimus insists on transforming into his alt mode and you sleeping there until the morning, but you're equally as stubborn and insist on keeping watch for him.

He only agreed because of how blushy that made him. You, his special human, want to protect him even in these circumstances? Fine, you can sit on his shoulder and keep watch while he settles down to avoid using any more energon

Not even 10 minutes later, he feels your head suddenly rest near his neck-cables.

"Y/N?"

No response except your soft breathing, there's a soft smile on his faceplates knowing that you had fallen asleep.

He carefully takes you from his shoulder and transforms, in a split second you were laying down and peacefully sleeping in his alt-mode.

It may not be a bed/circuit slab but you're the only human he'd let sleep in his alt-mode, expect the seats to be warm when you wake up or his engines to purr if he's driving

Absolute endless teasing back on the LL btw, WILL ask for you to sleep in his alt-mode again or to have some sort of sleepover

TFP Ratchet

This medic is the definition of overworking yourself

Rarely ever he gets to recharge NEAR you and you swore you have never seen him actually recharge without Optimus or you begging him

This specific day wasn't any different, except you kept tossing and turning in your bed. Something was bothering you and you weren't sure what, it just did not let you sleep. No matter how tired you felt, your body would not let you rest.

Cue you going to accompany Ratchet and him being concerned and scolding you as to why you were up at such an hour

You responded with a slow frog blink

"I can't sleep."

He lets you stay with him a while and just hopes you'll fall asleep eventually, it had happened before after all. He puts you on his shoulder and otherwise continues working, fully expecting you to fall asleep in a couple of minutes

30 minutes go by and you're still awake somehow, your half-lidded eyes staring and probably getting fried by the screen. He has a small mental battle with himself before he sighs and decided to...stop working (explodes)

"Will you get some sleep if I...if I stay with you?"

He says it almost reluctantly. But only you know that its a genuine offer. If you weren't so tired you would've leaped up in the air and shouted YES!! But instead you sleepily nodded your head and clung onto him.

He groaned and headed over to his room which was bland besides some belongings, gifts from the kids, and his unused recharge slab.

There he would lay down, expecting to wait for you to sleep and then continue his work. But he didn't expect it to be this relaxing

You laying there with him, near his shoulder armor and neck-cables, softly breathing and huddled against him. It didn't take him long for his exhaustion to finally catch up to him. He blames you for being so...calming and wonderful.

Before he drifts into recharge, he turns his helm towards you so his cheek is still in contact with you. Hes just trying to make you comfortable obviously, no, it's not out of his own enjoyment. Hes just tired, okay?

Speak of it in the morning and suddenly he forgets how to talk and cant get an explanation out without sputtering

[monosanimegenericzone]

Hunter x Hunter: Specialist Scarlet Eyes idea 1.

@masakuterarr <- what have you done to me

long post ahead and a lot of copium.

so back on my kurta shal bullshit in the hypothetical that he does have full scarlet eyes. what does that mean? well ill tell you.

according to togashi the scarlet eyes give the user a massive boost in aura and kurapika created a condition called emperor time to make himself a specialist and give him control over all 6 categories of nen.

and guess who (in this scenario) has scarlet eyes and knows how kurapika works.

shalnark.

now this is assuming two things: one, pakunoda scanned killua and has the memory of kurapika's hatsu explanation in full detail, meaning she transferred it to shalnark and the other five founding members before she died. two, the scarlet eyes grant an equal amount of power to every kurtan who had them.

ok so. scarlet eyed kurta shalnark right.

he has never used his scarlet eyes for nen related purposes because he has conditioned himself to hide them by containing his emotions to such a degree its scary. he probably doesn't even know about the power boost until pakunoda memory bombs him.

that being said, before greed island is introduced, he begins to entertain the idea that he could possibly use the specialist's power. what for you might ask?

to bring back the dead :)

there are a lot of things shalnark can use this power for, but he's just come off of mourning uvo and then witnessing paku drop dead in front of him. and now chrollo is suspended by a nen curse.

so on one hand, he could move forward and develop an ability that could remove nen curses. become an exorcist type and use his power to outright crush the curse.

but on the other hand. he can go backwards and undo the mistakes of the yorknew and make things right by starting where they first went wrong.

and so he decides to be selfish.

first its a struggle to remember how to make his eyes go scarlet and then the practice of harnessing that excess aura to replicate kurapika's specialist typing.

the first step goes easily because despair is the best catalyst for powerful emotions and as i said above. he's fuckin depressed as hell. so for the first time in a long time, shalnark lets himself cry.

and it works, his eyes turn red and he's got a massive boost of aura and efficiency in all six nen categories. (he doesn't name it like kurapika because he puts more effort into the following hatsu)

life and death are very much within the specialist category (see 2nd prince Camilla) so he'd be tapping mostly into specialist abilities. however, he also borrows from conjuror, emitter and a little touch of transmutation. to bring someone back youd need a lot of things so he needs access to almost all at once.

now comes the conditions. he has three modifiers that could help make this process more efficient. Emotion and Time. and then the necessary Life. Life for life is the rule of nen, especially when working backwards.

so his first two conditions are:

The dead must have died six months ago. (exactly 180 days) the further away from the exact time and date the more aura he spends.

the dead has to have been mourned by 10 people or more. as in the living have to make a gesture to express the loss of said deceased. and all 10 have to still be alive.

these are weak conditions but they're a good start. the time gap is to make up for lost time. by the time he starts making this hatsu it's been a month since the two spiders died and by his estimate he will need at least three more to perfect this to maximum efficiency. that being said, making the time sink universal is good for simple consistency.

the mourning part is using external emotions and ensuring that the deceased is worthy of coming back to life. since life wouldn't be returning to him, he would require more people than just himself.

third and fourth conditions quickly follow:

3. the dead has to have an appearance detailed enough to reconstruct with conjuration.

4. the last person who saw the dead has to say their name within two hours of the resurrection.

the third condition is simply applying conjuration techniques. and since shalnark is a nerd he probably has a good knowledge of human anatomy stored somewhere and paired with nostalgia he can ensure he can visualize his targets.

the fourth has a double function. one, it sets a time limit and two it implies that the killer has to remember who they had killed. this one is the really powerful condition that grants him a hell of a lot of power from if he can pull it off.

however, it's not enough and he still has to address the last modifier: life

5. however long it takes to complete steps 2-4, shalnark sacrifices 1 hour from his lifespan for every minute it takes. therefore, he can sacrifice a maximum of 120 hours or 4 and a half days of his life every time he does this.

6. two people that meet requirement 2 must be killed by shalnark and the resulting residual aura will be channeled through black voice and into the target.

by sacrificing two lives and a part of his own, he now has the Life required to return life.

the reason he has all of these clumped together is so that he can simply pull one trigger when all requirements are met. its a lot of setup but it could work.

he bundles it all up nicely under a fully realized hatsu five and a half months after working on it: Bleeding Heart - the Six Amendments of Death.

and of course he gets mad eepy after using all this bcs even with all those restrictions he is not fit for this.

this is one idea of many. the possibilities are endless. this is a certified nen nerd post

[moonlitcomet]

I think what makes gildedguy and the dragon of mar such an interesting and wonderful story to me is the intense emotional depth within it. It is, without a doubt, a tragedy - the main antagonist is tragic, he's a character you connect to personally before the end of the animation. He's a character you want to help, but is doomed by his existence and his past.

[spoilers and lots of disconnected thoughts below]

And he's a character who our MC tries to help - but gets refused every single time, from the day they meet to moments before Mar dies. Mar is a sympathetic character but has lost himself in his own evil, and refuses to accept that he could change for the better.

He isolates himself - and seems to accept Gildedguy into his life as a potential new friend. Maybe the only friend he's had in decades. The amount of time they spend together, and the amount of time Gildedguy spends trying to help this man, is really what makes Mar's end such a huge gut punch.

A lot of people are criticizing the ending of story 8 as Sable killing Mar "for no reason", which is not only tone deaf but also completely misreading the entire story presented to them. This story was never going to have a good ending, but with the story being told from Gildedguy's perspective, we were given a twinge of hope that maybe just maybe he could send Mar on the path to self-improvement.

Mar has been evil, and has been pillaging and killing people for probably decades at this point, what with how huge his gold hoard and skeleton collection is. He is too far gone, in the sense that he has resigned himself to the idea that he could never improve. Us, the viewers, having an idealistic approach at a story that could only end in pain and suffering for at least some individuals involved, gives us more expectation and more pain when the realization hits you:

You can't save everyone.

Some crimes are just too severe to be forgiven, and even if they aren't, some people are just too lost in their own self-hate to accept your help. Mar's crimes have overtaken him to the point that he can hardly exist, or even look at himself, without retreating inside the dragon that protects him and is his vessel of violence.

Having such little things - such tiny twinges of hope and beauty - set off such a deep evil in you that you resort to lashing out and violence, is a sign of someone filled with hurt, pain, and tragedy. It's a sign of someone who is past saving, despite how much you want to save them.

Gildedguy was the knight in shining armor, he spent four months building this massive machine to protect the people he cares about - Mar included. He opened himself up to this man, he tried to connect with him on a personal level in a moment of vulnerability, showing his face and trying to make himself seem like less of a threat.

And yet, even to the end, Mar still refused him, which led to his demise.

Gildedguy is a hopeful, whimsical person who wants to befriend and help just about everybody he comes across. He connected to Mar on a personal level the day they met, spending time together and sharing food. He could see a little of himself in Mar, they shared laughs and smiles, and a deep-seated regret and pain.

And he feared a little bit, for who and what Mar is.

But even still, he was willing to look past what he saw in himself, and continued being kind to Mar, in a rare act of genuine kindness that I doubt Mar has ever seen.

This leads well into how much Gildedguy tries to help his new friend throughout the story, and how tragic it is that Mar had to die. Gildedguy related to him, but not in a way that could save his friend. And despite how Gildedguy saw himself in Mar, the same could not be said for Mar seeing himself in Gildedguy.

Ultimately, that is why Mar could not and would not accept the help. He couldn't think of anyone else who'd really, truly be able to handle the evil and pain that he goes through and inflicts upon others. He has no hope for himself. He has no life or color.

He is just a broken, tired, dead-inside man who knows nothing else aside from the dragon he hides inside.

And Gildedguy slowly came to this realization as the story went on. He didn't know what Mar had done when first meeting him. But he came across the hoards of gold, the skeletons, the stolen treasure, and the people he's stolen away and doomed to death and saw just how much harm Mar has done to the world around him.

In the end, he resigned himself to the fact that Mar did not want to be saved, as much as Gildedguy wanted to save Mar.

He accepted his death, as painful as it was in the moment.

[songofsoma]

the hands that heal

pairing: karlach x f!tav words: 1,385 rating: general

read it on ao3

Karlach dropped by the fire with a soft grunt, hoping nobody had heard the noise as she had used her wounded arm to balance her weight as she sat. It wasn’t anything too serious. Not when you compared it to everyone else who seemed to be dragging into camp by the skin of their teeth. 

Asking Shadowheart for a quick healing spell was out of the question since she was in the worst shape out of them all. Her sweet Daefina had aided the cleric’s journey back to camp no matter how much Karlach insisted that she help as well. She was too determined to personally see everyone back safely.

Even bloody and bruised, Daefina assisted Shadowheart to her bunk, tending to what wounds she could before letting her simply rest. Karlach watched as she murmured something, most likely a promise to come to check on her in a bit. 

It had been a brutal fight. They had started on a disadvantage by walking right into an ambush where they were severely outnumbered and the day had already been grueling, leading to exhaustion and prior injuries that needed tending to, only to get beat up some more. 

Karlach’s gaze followed Daefina as she walked, noticing the slight limp in her gait. She was so worried about everyone but herself. Though, that was hypocritical of her to say when she sat trying to mask the slash up her forearm from a sword she wasn’t able to dodge quickly enough. An old rag was wrapped around it in an attempt to stop the bleeding. 

Daefina approached the fire and sat beside Karlach with a tired sigh. It didn’t go unnoticed the way a hand rubbed her knee as if to soothe the pain away. 

“What a fucking day,” Karlach said, anxious to break the silence before it settled. 

She nodded and leaned against her. The added weight made Karlach settle back on her bad arm, failing to hold back a wince as the bloodied rag fell to the dirt. 

Daefina looked up at her, brows furrowed. “Are you hurt?”

“No,” she lied too quickly. Her lover was too keen on every little detail. 

Unconvinced, she stretched over her lap to inspect the arm propped up behind Karlach, spotting the cause despite her futile attempts to hide it. “Karlach,” she gasped, hands sliding down her bicep to try and catch the afflicted arm in her grasp. “Why didn’t you say something?”

She half shrugged as Daefina climbed over her legs to sit on her other side to inspect the injury. “Because it’s not a big deal.”

The sharp look she was given told her that was the wrong answer. “It’s a massive deal. It could get infected and then you could get sepsis and die, or we’d have to amputate—all because it was no big deal.”

Karlach dropped her head back with a defeated groan. “I just didn’t want you to worry, okay? Especially since the others were in worse shape. I’m not going to make a big thing out of a tiny cut.”

“It almost spans the entire inside of your forearm!” Daefina exclaimed in disbelief. 

Karlach only shrugged again, unsure of what to say.

She closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath before saying, “Wait here.” 

There wasn’t much of a choice to do anything else as Daefina got to her feet and disappeared. Karlach stared into the fire, definitely not pouting for being scolded. She returned quickly, taking the same place by Karlach’s side, this time with a satchel and carafe of water in hand. 

Silence spanned between them as Daefina pulled fresh cloths out of the bag, soaking them with water before carefully beginning to clean the wound. Karlach’s arm was cradled gently in her lap as she worked, all her attention focused on tending the wound with the least amount of pain.

Karlach had lost count of how many battles she had fought in her life. Her entire existence after being sold to Zauriel was to fight and kill. The span of her body was littered with evidence. It didn’t just stop at the engine where her heart used to be, scars from poorly healed wounds covered her skin and the flesh on her right shoulder was a gnarled mess of burn scars. Runes had even been carved into her horns, marking her as property of the Hells. There was no tender care where she came from. There was only survival. To nurse wounds meant death. She carried on, no matter how bad, for her own survival. So being cared for in such a manner was foreign to her. She wasn’t used to her well-being becoming a priority to someone. 

Hells, she wasn’t used to being loved.

Karlach watched quietly as Daefina gently patted the gash dry before tossing the bloody towel to the side. She twisted to dig in her satchel and produced a jar that smelled strongly of herbs when the lid was popped open. 

She met the curious gaze and smiled softly. “A poultice to help staunch any more bleeding,” Daefina explained, spreading a thick layer over her forearm. “It’ll also help keep it clean and heal.”

Karlach nodded, fascinated by her actions.

Daefina began to bind her arm with bandages, keeping the poultice in place. She did it was such care, asking if it was too tight and double-checking that it was secure when she finished. “Now,” she mused, wiping her hands on her pants. “Was that so difficult?”

“No.” She examined the druid’s handiwork. It was almost as if she could feel the wound already beginning to heal. Or maybe that was all in her head. “I’m just…” Karlach trailed off for a moment, unsure if she should finish her sentence.

“Just?” Daefina prompted.

She rolled her lips together anxiously before continuing. “Not used to being cared for.”

Her face turned into one of understanding and then into sorrow. “Oh, Karlach,” Daefina whispered, crawling onto her lap to draw her into a hug. “You are everything to me. I love you so much that sometimes it scares me. It hurts me to see you hurt, but it hurts even more when you think you don’t deserve to be cared for.”

Karlach sank into the embrace, nuzzling her face into her neck. She smelt of sweat and the earth and Karlach savored it before resting her head on Daefina’s shoulder. That scent meant she was alive and close to her. “I love you too. I just don’t know how to be looked after yet. I’m so used to having to watch my own back that I don’t know how to let someone else do it too.”

“It’ll take time, but you and I have forever to figure that out.” She planted a kiss on Karlach’s temple, fingers beginning to run through her hair. “But no matter what, I will always be here to look out for you. It’s my job as your girlfriend, you know.”

She chuckled. “Didn’t know that came in the contract, but I’ll take it.”

“You better,” Daefina teased and pulled back, tucking a wild strand of hair behind Karlach’s ear, her thumb lingering to run over its pointed shell. “I’m serious, though. I love you too much to lose you. Please at least try to let me help.”

Karlach’s hands fell onto her hips as Daefina straddled her. They were so close that their noses nearly brushed together. “I’ll do my best.”

“And that’s all I’m asking.” She kissed her once before patting her shoulder and standing. “Now, go get ready for bed. I need to check on Shadowheart first, but I want to be the little spoon tonight.”

“But I’ll already be in bed and I’m injured, so don’t I get dibs on the little spoon?” Karlach grinned.

Daefina narrowed her eyes at her. “Fine, but only because you’re an invalid.”

Karlach snorted a laugh and caught her hand before she could get too far, beckoning her to bend down for one more parting kiss. “Maybe I’ll even be naked.”

That made her roll her eyes, but a smile couldn’t be stopped. “Don’t even think about it. I’m too exhausted to handle you tonight and you know I can’t resist you.”

She watched Daefina cross their camp, smiling the entire time.

[cookiesupplier]

Kristmas with Käresta

pairing: Joakim “Jolly” Karlsson x ofc (Evie)

summary: Jolly has been her best friend forever, he is everything to her and he can't go home to his family this year, so she is determined to do something special for him for Christmas this year. Determined.

author’s note: Unbeta’d. Actually, consider this a part one for this upcoming NYE follow-up!! This one is all fluff.

tags: @tearfallpixie @cncohshit @nyxthedestroyerofworlds

~~

Evie first met Jolly when he first moved to LA, pretty much his first week, he was lost and she was working behind the counter at the cafe that she’d been working behind forever. She was working her way through college as a barista, her parents could only pay so much money on school, and while they did that, she put as much as she could towards everything else.

Meeting Jolly had been wonderful, that first day, she’d given him directions to find his way to where he was going after ordering a coffee, and the next day, he came back for another coffee, along with the next. She’d laughed when he came back on the fourth day, and she already had his order down pat, but did he truly like their crappy coffee that much?

“No, but the Käresta that makes it saved me.”

That day he left with her number and they’ve been fast friends ever since.

All these years later, and she had an idea, an idea that she was trying to whip the guys into shape and help her with.

She knew Jolly wasn’t going to be able to go home and get to spend Christmas with his family this year, so she was trying to ease things for him and wanted to bring some traditions to him here, but the research she did.. Well most of them, most of them did revolve around family and the boys in the band and he lived with had been so difficult.

Evie had tried to arrange a day to decorate the Christmas Tree together, a real one, all of them, so they could surprise Jolly, at least that had been the plan. But that hadn’t happened, it had fallen flat, no one had been able to agree to a date and never ended up happening until she just put up the normal tree, with Noah and Jolly.

Her next attempt had been the day to bake gingerbread houses and cookies, but that hadn’t worked either. One or two of the guys could have done it, but it was supposed to be family, they were supposed to be together, otherwise, it wasn’t the same.

Her final try was Christmas Eve, which was the Swedish version of Christmas Day, and boy did she give every last one of them the RIOT act about how they were bailing on Jolly. Whoever was in town, whoever was remotely available was to BE THERE, and if she found out they were, she was going to ‘This threat has been censored for the sake of the holiday spirit.’

It was safe to say they agreed. No one argued with Evie when she started using language like that. Mostly, because unbeknown to her, Jolly made sure every last one of them knew that upsetting Evie was upsetting him, and he’d make their life extremely difficult.

Evie told everyone she’d take care of everything, all they had to do was turn up, presents would be nice, but at the very least, just turn up, please!

They did, and it made her so happy, the house was full, and warm, and for a moment there, she was worried that all the massive amounts of food that she had made, weren’t even going to be enough. Giggling, remembering Jolly watching her run around like a chicken with her head cut off all morning, wondering what had gotten into her, and she’d just shooed him back to his room with a grin. Oh, she had made so much food, a smörgåsbord as per her research into the Swedish traditions, not just what they called it in restaurants. She even looked into some of the more traditional dishes, and while she didn’t know if she’d gotten the ones she’d tried right, she had tried. Like the lutfisk, hopefully, that one wasn’t horrible, and she’d already told the others to let Jolly try that one first. Though if it was horrible, maybe.. Maybe, oh she didn’t know.

There were all kinds of things that she had made, Christmas ham, pork sausage, pork belly, and she’d also included other dishes from some of the other guys' homes too, because she knew others hadn’t been able to go home either. Yes, she might have been doing this for Jolly, but she was well aware that he wasn’t the only one that didn’t get to go home and spend time with family this year.. So here they were, all spending time together. A different type of family. Found family.

When she finally went to bring Jolly out of his room,

“Oh, so I’m allowed to come out now, Käresta?”

Her face flushed with warmth, remembering how she’d practically banished him to his room earlier when he’d continued to bug her when she was flittering about the kitchen all morning. Nodding slightly, she reached for his hands with hers to pull him out of his room to come out to the lounge where the party was happening. Everything was set up, the whole room was decorated with faux candles and Christmas lights and decorations, everyone sitting out at the table waiting for them so they could sit down to dinner.

“Evie, what have you-”

Looking around..

“Oh, Käresta.”

“God Jul, Jolly.”

Smiling at her, she knew she probably got the pronunciation absolutely horribly wrong, but she tried, and Jolly hugged her so tightly now. As he let her go, they both moved to join all the others at the table and start dinner. Laughing and happy, Jolly enjoyed the whole night, dinner, Evie’s attempts at lutfisk, her baked lussekatter was perfection and he was also going to steal more of those gingerbread cookies. Then after dinner came the presents, and he stole away to his room to bring out the ones he’d gotten for his friends, but all in all, the whole night, spending it with his family, and his friends, he couldn’t have asked for anything more.

As most of the guys were heading to their rooms, Jolly was sitting on the couch with Evie, he reached for her hand, squeezing lightly,

“Käresta, tonight has been, wonderful, thank you.”

[shadowbrightshine]

@marvelmaniac715 I just had an idea of what if the original people that lived on the Hatchetfield island were the ones who worshipped the Lords and the Waylons and Starry church married into the practices. Oh and you @notanerdyprude

And the reason the world didn't end for those people was they had a bunch of safety measures and rules in place and many rituals. Things that were lost when the hatchet men came and destroyed things.

And the black book is all that survived.

Gonna do a read more so people aren't discouraged from reblogging. Please do reblog I spent a long time typing and thinking this out. You guys can use this idea if you credit me!

I've been thinking about it. Like the life drain spell originally having been a sharing spell. Where a group would spread out the giving up of a few years for one person, greatly extending their life without massively impact a single other life. Or those close to the end giving up their last years for someone they love.

Maybe the trees growing from human souls, used to be a burial ritual. Where those who so chose would be buried to provide fruit for their families for years to come. And their leaves would change to the color of the respective Lord they followed when they wanted to be cut down and released from the tree. And they helped keep the power of the gift in the woods to make it more likely for the people who live there to get the gift. They weren't trapping the gift away from people, it was a blanket to encourage more gift given kids.

The reason everything grows so well is it was originally infused with the souls of willing people who wanted to provide for their people. And now the woods are full of trapped souls and fruit doesn't grow. Plants grow, but the trees refuse to fruit because why would they want to? You killed those people and planted them unwillingly.

The reason the Lords weren't able to take over the world was these people knew the risks and kept them from having total power. Like a minimum amount of people taking part in a ritual to spread out the wear on one's body. Maybe Pokotho's uniting force was used as a way to help empower and work to finish projects quickly as a group.

Nibilinephem and the harvest was a sacrifice, but not yearly. It was during droughts and the one willing to step up gave up their life so that everyone else could live. Not for wealth but say a lacking material, or something simple, like the rain. Maybe stronger building materials. It could also just have been a bad thing.

Bliklotep was called on to see visions of the future, or to see the world outside the island and learn from what other groups of people across the world were doing. They could pick and choose to make a missmash of technological items that best suited their needs. (Maybe something that CCRP has been trying to continue doing to make more money?)

T'noy karaxis could speed up time which is just very helpful. Or maybe he wasn't a very popular choice anyways and he was just obsessed with a different man who he trapped all the time. Or since he's outside of time he honestly could have just been torturing Ted since forever. He doesn't seem to bother other people until you call on him. Unless you're his Teddy Bear.

Wiggog'ywrath feels like he'd be called on for protection. A powerful God to protect the island. Of course it would be easy for his power to corrupt the user. That's why any time he was summoned there was a requirement of a certain minimum of people taking part to spread the influence out and keep it from concentrating into a big freaking problem.

It seems Webby was already forgotten but part of me likes the idea that she was the go between for the Lords and the people, or she was worshipped by a small pocket of people. She wasn't very powerful, but she was kind, and she didn't need as many regulations on summoning her. She could help keep the bindings of the magic on the people, strengthen their connection to the powers.

And then the hatchet men killed the Starry children and anyone connected to it. They destroyed most of the literature and rituals.

And the book, with what was left, no longer had all those safety measures. People got greedy. The sharing spell became a vampiric stealing ritual.

And now...

Now the Lords could have unrestricted access to Hatchetfield, and then the world started ending.

Tada!!! Please, please reblog this I've been thinking about it a lot and I spent a really long time coming up with this idea. You are allowed to use it if you want just credit that I came up with the initial idea.

Like I've been thinking that this had to come from somewhere. There had to be some reason that the Lords in Black didn't end the world much earlier in the timeline.

[kindnessisweakness2]

Delusional - Part 25

Delaney stood in her now empty room infront of her vanity. She had showered and was currently trying to tame her curly hair with one hand. Her shoulder was unbelievably sore and she didn't want to risk breaking the stitches by waving her arm around. "Baby let me help" Jax's voice was soft and she could tell by his tone he was worried about her. Having been held hostage for a day and shot at, how could he not? Sighing in defeat, knowing there was no way she was going to be able to do it alone she held her hair tie out towards him. "Just pile it on top of my head. The last thing I give a shit about is looking presentable." Jax kissed her head as he made eye contact with her through the vanity mirror. "Your beautiful. Always." Smiling at him, she couldn't help but think that she almost lost him today. Almost lost everything. Because of him. Gently taking hold of her long curls Jax twisted them into a messy bun on top of her head like he had seen her do thousands of times before. "You don't have to do this y'know? I can take care of it.." Spinning around, the look on her face alone stopped Jax speaking. "This. This is my choice. This is something i have to do. Closure. Whatever the fuck you wanna call it." Stepping around him, she continued to speak as she pulled on one of his SAMCRO jackets and zipped up the front. "Look, the amount of hurt he has caused me. What me made me lose and what i almost lost yesterday, i need to face him. I need to watch it happen. Know he is really gone." Delaney took Jax's hands in hers and looked up at him. His blue eyes held nothing but concern and love, and it honestly made her want to melt. The safety and love he gave her was something she had never had before, even from her own parents. And she will spend every day of the rest of her life with him feeling like she didn't deserve it. "I love you. And i know your looking out for me. Us.." She moved their hands to rest on her lower belly. "But this is something I'm not going to let go. If i dont confront this, dont face him, he will haunt me forever. It will bleed all over our relationship, our future and that is not something im going to let happen. " Jax nodded and kissed her gently. "Im with you. Always." Smiling against his lips, she captured him in another kiss. "Always."

An hour later and they were pulling up outside the warehouse on the edge of the Wahiwah land. Delaney would be lying if she said she was fine. Sickness rolled through her stomach from the moment they left the house, but she wasn't going to tell Jax that. If he thought for one second she was anything other than fine he would pull the plug on the whole thing. Stepping off the bike and pulling her helmet off, she made her way towards Opie. Wrapping her arms around his middle, he leaned down and enveloped her in a massive bear hug. "You had us all scared for a second there, D." Smiling up at him, Delaney pushed her fallen curls from her eyes. "Im always fine Ope. Cant die yet, Donna still hasn't made me that dinner she promised." Opie laughed loudly at the mention of his wifes cooking. "Yeah youll wish you had when you try her food. I love my wife, but fucking hell she cant cook for shit. You'll have to give her some tips D." The lighthearted moment was cut short as Happy made his way out of the warehouse. No words were exchanged as he made his way to Delaney and scooped her up into a hug. He held her for a long moment, before putting her down and stepping back. Happy was a man of small words but him and Delaney had always been close. She knew she could call on him whenever she needed and he would do anything to keep her safe. She couldnt explain how happy she was when he patched into SAMCRO, meaning he could stay in charming. "Hes ready." Delaney's smile wiped from her face instantly. Reaching out her hand to Jax, they made their way in together. Lets get this over with, once and for all. That was all Delaney could think.

Walking into the room where Alex was held filled Delaney with mixed emotions. He hung from the ceiling in a very similar position to how she did when he took her all those months ago. His arms stretched above his head in a position she new all to well how painful it was. As soon as she stepped into the room, a grin spread across his face. "Oh how disappointing, i thought id killed you." Delaney took a shaky breath before stepping close to him. Her Anger resurfacing at the sight of him. "Sorry for the inconvenience, but I'm very much alive and kicking." Bringing up her knee hard and fast she rammed it in his groin. The noise of pain he let out music to her ears. Turning around to Jax she held her hand out for his knife, which he gladly produced. "I'm not going to stand here and beg you to tell me why you did it, any of it. It's just you. Who you are. Your fucking rotten from the inside out. Theres only one thing i want to know." Tracing the tip of the knife down his chest Delaney had to fight the urge to plunge it in to his breast bone. For the tip of it to graze his hateful heart. For him to burn with pain like she did every day she was with him. "Whats the connection between you and Dr Knowles?" Alex smirked at her. "I cant believe it took you this long to work out. You really are stupid. We both had something in common. We both wanted you and that biker bastard away from each other. Except i wanted you dead and she wanted him to herself." Delaney drove her elbow into his sternum at the admission. She couldnt believe he told her outright. She expected him to toy with her, to make it a game. He groaned painfully as he swung back on the chain he was connected to. She hit him again and again, years worth of anger and pain spurring her on. "Do you think You'll be able to do it?" He spat out "you really think you'll be able to kill me? Even if you manage to do it, itll haunt you forever. The truth of what you did. Just like what you did to that Idiot Kevin does. Just like your baby haunts you." Delaney's eyes watered at his words. "It haunts you deep inside. The pain of it. You carry it dont you? And its heavy. The guilt. That you should've protected it. Just think of what my death will do to you. Ill always be around Laney. Always be in the back of your mind. That voice in your head. Always reminding you Who you really are. Little Laney, Never good enough. You should be thanking me anyway!" He spoke fast blood trickling from his mouth. "Thank you? What the fuck am i thanking you for you delusional prick?" She spat as she glared into his cold eyes. "I did you a favour. You'd be a shit mom Laney. Your not mom material. If you were you'd never have lost the first one. Your weak. You dont deserve to be a mom." Stepping back like she'd been struck, Delaney's back met Jax's chest and he quickly wrapped his arms around her. Tears fell from her cheeks at the taunts from Alex, and her stomach twisted at the satisfaction that spread across his face. He got to her and he knew it. One last dig. And by fuck did it hurt.

"Breathe baby. He's full of shit. Please let me handle it." Jax's worried tone filled her ears. Gripping the knife tightly, she tried to breathe deep. Tried to get a hold on herself. She promised herself she wasnt going to let him do this. Wasnt going to let him get to her. What a fucking lie that was. Stepping out of Jax's arms, She wiped her tears angrily. She wasnt doing this. Not anymore. She was done. Looking Alex directly in the eyes she drove the knife into his stomach. "Hate to break it to you asshole. I'm Pregnant." Pulling the knife back she jammed it into his throat. "I fucking WIN." She spat angrily. She stood there watching the light fade from his eyes. The sick Part of her enjoying it. Stepping back shakily, she dropped the knife to the floor. "See you in hell fucker." Turning around, her eyes fell on a wide eyed Happy and a worried looking Jax.

He's gone. He was actually gone. Never again would she have to look over her shoulder for fear of being snatched. He couldn't hurt her or her family ever again.

So tell me why Delaney still felt terrified on the inside?

Why did she not feel free?

[theeternalwombtarot]

I just lost a cousin today, she just turned 18. There’s a lot I can say on the matter but the ancestors have been speaking to me for weeks in the midst of the conditions of our world today and the shifts that are happening in our minds and our communities. I cannot help but think that the loss of our youth, the deaths of millions, and the release of truth about the world we live in today is to direct our attention towards some of the biggest issues we’re standing on and contributing to at times. I was blessed enough to have had parents (whom when able) advocated for and made changes to insure that I was brought up in a household different from my peers, the rest of my family members, and countless others. They made sure that there was no drugs in my household, that i had advocates for my education, that I was exposed to truths and educated about my surroundings and my history early, etc.

While, we are undergoing such a massive purging and destruction of karmic society and cycles, it’s so incredibly important that we be intentional about the decisions we make, that we become aware of how our history shape us, that we have the ability to hold others accountable and hold ourselves accountable, that advocate for better, that we make conscious decisions to move towards better. To people of color especially, use the examples set for you to continue to improve, heal your heart and heal your mind, advocate for your children’s education and for your own, educate yourselves on the world and what’s best for you and what isn’t, don’t allow your patterns and behaviors that you consumed and mimic from others who were significant in your life rule over your life.

I’ve seen what it looks like to see people be destroyed, peoples potential be destroyed, peoples spirits be destroyed by mistakes made by people they descend from, by the conditions of our world and societies. The other night I cried because I felt so incredibly overwhelmed and saddened by the condition of our world and the conditions of the minds of the people in it. I cried because there are times when I feel that there is no amount of work I can do to heal the entire world and take away the suffering and the hardship that we share as a collective. I cried because I know what it feels like to lose people or have to release people I loved wholeheartedly because they didn’t have the capacity to be all that they could be or were so stuck and stagnant that they could not move forward, or were so damaged by the things they’d seen, experienced or learned that they couldn’t embody what they were wholly made and created to be.

To live in a world like this is to know great loss. Can we please be better.

[sparkanonymous]

It's finally time for me to watch Dragons Rising!

Time for some incomprehensible note-taking while I ink the last WIP I posted.

⚠️ Spoilers for episodes 1-3!

Here's what I know:

The OG 4 (+ Nya I think) have been lost to time. It's actually the main reason why I didn't want to watch it back when it first came out; I didn't want to watch the series without the characters I loved. (Not the biggest Lloyd fan, so he wasn't enough for me to want to come and watch it.)

The main 4 are found, but Jay is like... brainwashed or something, and works for a facility or whatever.

Cole basically has a boyfriend and kids now.

Geo is adorable.

Kai is also kind of a father figure to one of the new ninja characters. I think her name is Wyldfyre.

The Cole and Zane reunion was ass. You're telling me that, after they couldn't find each other for however long, they didn't go and squeeze the life out of each other? I saw a clip and it bugged me so bad- it looked like they just... clipped two separate clips of Cole and Zane seeing each other and lost the first clip's amount of emotion. Cole was running to go and greet Zane, and then he just puts his hand on his shoulder? Nah. (Maybe it's because I'm a massive Glacier fan, but ugh... I can't help it.)

They kind of made up for it when Zane called puppy Cole cute. That was adorable, especially with how Cole looked up at Zane after turning back into a human.

Okay, let's get this show on the road.

Divider made by steddiecameraroll-graphics

Episode 1: The Merge (1)

Alright, so we're just immediately getting into the merge. Not even minute in, lol okay.

The intro to the ninja was pretty epic.

Standing that close to an explosion... that would've lead to some terrible injury for Arin... (that's his name right?)

Okay, but to watch everything you ever knew and loved just... vanish? That would fucking suck. That probably led a lot of people to go down their villain path.

That zoom in and that angry look on Arin's face... is he gonna become a villain?

So Arin is definitely a kid when the merge happened, given that he has those little Lego legs. So, now, he's at least a teenager. It's definitely been plenty of years. (We're not even 5 minutes in yet.)

Cute puppies at the junkyard.

For everything bad that Ninjago writers do to the series, the animators always pop off with the visuals. The lighting is immaculate.

Arin's voice... it feels familiar. NO FUCKING WAY HE'S CHEF FROM THE TDI REBOOT????? No, how... HOW

Okay... so Arin knows a little bit of Spinjitzu... how? I thought you had to be taught the ways of Spinjitzu before you could learn it. Sure, his role models are the ninja, but there's no way he would've been able to pick up on the tiny things just by watching them do it.

Little dancing robots lol

No matter how many years it's been, hearing the phrase "BFF" be said out loud still makes me cringe, no matter what show I'm watching.

I like that he's a little baker.

Dumbass villain lol

No matter how good of terms I would be with anyone, even a frog anthro, I still would not be cool with them using their tongue to give me a high five.

Why is Mr. Frohicky so adamant about them dropping out?

So the Never Realm is connected to this universe because of the merge. Can't believe I didn't think about that. Could definitely lead to more Zane-Never Realm angst.

That's Starlight Glimmer. Kreel is Starlight Glimmer. Wow.

Oh, Kreel is so cheating.

Yep. AND attempting murder.

So that little dragon gifted Sora with powers? That's pretty cool.

What do you mean "how'd you-"? You know that your spinjitzu is terrible.

So were Sora's powers given to her or already within her?

LLOYD! I already knew we'd see him eventually, but it's still good to see him.

I feel like Lloyd's intro was kinda... rushed? Like, we had less than 30 seconds before the credits and then he suddenly appears? It kinda makes sense, but... idk

Episode 2: The Merge (2)

I miss you, old theme song. I want you back.

So Lloyd saw Arin do spinjitzu, but didn't see who did the spinjitzu? It was clearly weak, and orange, and while [I think] Kai's spinjitzu is orange, he's definitely not weak. Lloyd would have known it was Kai, or any of the ninja he knows. This was clearly just for the reveal to Lloyd, and probably to measure up his disappointment if he ever admits it later on, but like... come on.

Sora becoming a fan while watching Lloyd fight is kinda cute.

Arin, you nasty; wash the mask you put on your face all the time. I bet he's gotten sick countless times because of that thing lol

The fact that Arin immediately calls Lloyd "Master Lloyd".

So Lloyd can't hear Rapton yelling, but he can hear footsteps behind him from an equal amount of distance? Damn, he must've gotten good at ignoring villains' monologues.

Poor Sora... second hand embarrassment is terrible.

The new theme song... no. I don't like it. I'm sorry.

Okay, so the dragon is giving Sora it's powers?

So messages can go anywhere? I don't know why, but I thought that the places that the other ninja were stuck in were completely unreachable, because they were separate universes apart. ... I did notice that there was an unstable crack in the sky in the last episode, when Raz got a hold of the Sora and Arin, so if they are universes apart, maybe that's how they would send messages to each other?

How many times has the Destiny's Bounty been rebuilt.

MASTER WU!

Lloyd believing Wu is just immortal. I kinda get it, but like... look at him. He's gonna blow to dust in - at most - a couple more decades, trust me.

Goddamn, why is Zane full tits out in the flashback?

Okay, so the dragon they found is a "Source Dragon" right?

Lloyd beating the shit out of Kai without even thinking.

Kai and Lloyd's little spin hug... that's cute. It's nice to see them being close.

Yeah, you already said the merge-quakes were getting worse, Lloyd. I don't think you needed to reiterate that lol

I like how Arin's spinjitzu mess ups still end up helping out in the long run.

So is Raz hunting down the ninja?

Ah, so the power is within the ninja and the dragons just enhance the amount of power they have on it by like... 10x.

I like that Lloyd stayed humble and just became the new ninjas' teacher instead of calling himself a master.

Ryu staying with the ninja over his own family feels kinda fucked up... I think the better excuse would be that Ryu's family need to keep Ryu safe while they look for a new home, and the ninja can protect them from danger. The decision Ryu made shouldn't have been up to them, with them being so young.

So, no, they are still hunting dragons, they're just using the ninja as a tool. Got it.

Episode 3: Crossroads Carnival

Sora's not gonna like being a ninja.

Lloyd's gonna be a little asshole lol

Those mechanisms haven't been cleaned ever, Sora. Don't get your hopes up.

Yep, Lloyd's pushing it and trying to be Wu lol

Lloyd's incapability to grow facial hair is more canon than anything lol

How did Sora not get set on fire?

"Without tea, I literally have no idea if that was fast enough-" So Lloyd's just a massive dumbass who looks too far into Wu's teachings? That's funny lmao

Why the fuck would you bring a dragon with you? That's literally the worst idea with dragon hunters around.

Oh, skeleton characters are back! I haven't seen them since... the episodes that took place before season 1? Has it really been that long since they were last used?

"Oh, come on, we never would have done that to Master Wu! ... That's a lie." Lmfao

How does Arin's grappling hook literally grapple onto everything?

Lobo is great actually.

Oh great, Kreel character redemption. That came out of fucking nowhere and feels forced as hell.

"My... only friend." You're calling this person "Targy" or whatever. There's something going on here.

The ninja tribute... that's so sweet.

Wait, so they know who Wu and Nya are, but they don't recognize Lloyd? The green ninja? The guy that is literally supposed to be the most powerful ninja?

The non existent beard strikes again.

"Do not type cast me!" I like this guy's dramatic flare.

"This is like that nightmare I had-" Funny, but does this say something about Lloyd's character?

Raz just goes and hires random fuckos? Hm... Is he connected to Jay in that aspect then?

I'm having a pretty good time with this so far! I don't like the theme song, though; it reminds me too much of She-ra and the Princesses of Power theme song, which also bothered me.

Current progress on the piece I'm inking:

[cryptid-artha]

For some reason, every update on this situation has been removed from FurAffinity, the main site I use and network on, despite me not, at all, harassing anybody, encouraging any harassment, or revealing any identification. This is literally just me trying to keep y’all updated about what’s going on with me. Keep you updated with the absolute [i]chaos[/i] my life has been lately.

If you want to support me in this rough time, here is my Ko-Fi. https://ko-fi.com/arthademon

And a gofundme for my new computer. I did buy a new one, but it's on a payment plan and I gotta lay $320 a month for the next 4 months. https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-secure-a-new-computer-for-financial-stability

Helping me towards my goal will REALLY help take some of that burden off so I can focus on feeding myself and my family with any money I make from commissions.

All of this aside, here is what is currently going on with me

In a nutshell, I have been through a massive shitstorm, am extremely stressed out, and tired of having to re-explain this over and over again because it keeps being removed for reasons I do not understand so all of this is being kept backed up on a personal document now.

This being said, do not try to figure out who is involved in this situation. And if you somehow know who they are, [u][b]do NOT contact them, tell anybody else who they are, harass them, or do ANYTHING against them[/b][/u]. The point of this is not to call anybody out or harass anybody but rather to keep you all updated on my situation and the chaos my life has been thrown into. This is in no way targeted at anybody. The person who is responsible for throwing my life into chaos is blocked and out of my life for good.  I don’t intend for him to read this. This is not aimed at him. This is not meant for him. If he reads this and finds this, it’s because he’s actively looking for it. If he gets offended by it, that’s on him. Again, this is meant purely as life updates from me. This is not, in any way, targeted at anybody. This is [u]not[/u] a beware, a callout, a warning, or anything of the sort. [u][i]It is literally just a life update. Nothing more, nothing less[/i].[/u].

In short, my family lost our financial security after somebody we thought we could trust stabbed us in the back and turned on us with zero notice. I went from secure, without having to worry about keeping internet and utilities, keeping a roof over my head and keeping food in my stomach to struggling to make ends meet and having to open up commissions to take care of necessities literally overnight. Prices for EVERYTHING have tripled over the past year, making it even more of a stressful struggle. I never thought I'd have to rely on commissions again, but here we are. It sucks. But it is what it is.  Nothing I can do about it other than try to keep my head above the water and help my family wherever I can.

For context, somebody I once saw as a brother (He will be referred to as FB (Former Brother) for the rest of this, to differentiate him from the other people in this story) had a business he started with my wife. The agreement we had was that he would provide the funding and take care of our needs while Brynn (My wife) did all the work making the business succeed and bring in money. It was going to return his investment, and secure all of our futures. It was doing quite well, but not quite breaking even yet (It was still new!) and he was still helping to fund it while my wife worked on getting it off the ground.  It could have broken even by the end of the year if all went well and was actually bringing in a pretty good amount of money, even with the expensive office space we had. It was absolutely going to return FB’s investment over time; and sooner than expected, and all he had to do was handle the finances. Make sure business expenses were paid, handle payroll, stuff like that. Other than that, he could just sit, do nothing, and reap the benefits of our hard work.  Brynn was pouring her ALL into that business. Working herself to the bone. Every single day, barely any time off. She had brought in another business partner, who was helping us bring in a LOT more money than we were before. Like, we were actually full on succeeding. We were doing well. There were daily installs and money flowing in. Things were looking up and up and we were to the point of hiring another person on to help with installs because we were getting so many.

With no warning, FB completely pulled out, blocked contact with us, and completely fucked us and our other business partner over. He wasn’t doing the one thing he was supposed to do; handle the finances and keep things paid for while Brynn worked her butt off. We came to find out FB had been using company funds for personal stuff as well. He broke numerous promises and caused way more problems than we realized. Contractors we worked with weren’t paid. Payroll kept not going through. Office space rent wasn’t paid for 2 months. Subscriptions we needed for clients weren’t paid, and more. More and more ripples of his actions are coming back and being revealed as time passes. There are several things that were supposed to be paid, from the funds brought into the company from jobs Brynn did, that were never paid, that he lied to our faces about. Told us it was paid, when it wasn’t. He turned his back on us, without notice, after lying to us for weeks, and letting all of his duties slip until we were in a hole. We lost our office space, had to lay off our two employees, and shut down the business.

We are able to scrape together enough resources to keep going thanks to Brynn’s skills and the dedication of her business partner. We are falling back to the company he had before he merged with us, and Brynn is simply merging with him since they work so amazingly well together. He has been an absolute life-saver in all of this. My wife can continue to work from home, and there are already enough clients and enough money coming in for a roof and food as long as I can take enough commissions to help with expenses, but it's going to be extremely tight until we regroup and find a new groove.

If FB had just waited, money WOULD have come flowing back in, but he backed out entirely, without any warning, after lying for potentially weeks.  If he had to back out, I wish he'd just said something, so we could scale back and be more prepared. But instead, he strung us along, lied for weeks,  and dug us into a pretty deep hole.  He dragged Brynn’s business partner down too, who, thank goodness, wasn't harmed too much by all this and is still willing to work with Brynn despite what FB did, and despite the harm it caused to him, his family, and his finances. He doesn’t blame my wife for what happened, and I can’t thank him enough for everything he’s done for us. He's been a wonderful light in this darkness and I appreciate him so much.

I feel deeply hurt, and very deeply betrayed by FB. It’s been a bit now, and I am slowly adjusting. It’s still rough, still stressful and still scary as fuck. But we’re gonna be ok. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I am slowly coming out of the shock of it all. But it still sucks and it’s still extremely stressful. Of all the people to turn around and stab me and my family in the back, FB was the last person I EVER would have expected to do such a thing.

We had financial stability. We didn't have to worry about food in our stomachs or a roof over our head. We didn't have to worry about having running water, internet, phone service, and electricity and now we have to struggle to make ends meet while picking up the pieces. We poured  everything into that business, and it was paying off. And then the person we thought was our brother completely abandoned us and fucked us over. After lying to our faces for weeks. It completely threw everything off the rails and we are dealing with trying to stay stable while struggling with the loss of somebody we once cared about deeply. It hurts.

I want things to go back to normal... but, they will never go back to what they were. We have to find a new normal.

We will be ok, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but this is a major time of transition and I need to help make ends meet in the meantime.

[masqueradeassane]

Sometimes Astarion wondered about how his own life had changed since the... Tadpoles.

So much had changed, with him, with the others, with the two here.

He ran his cool fingers across the stubbled jaw of the man whose head was in his lap. "Hush hush, you're thinking too much again darling."

It was odd that the one so adamantly against any kind of sharing, when they first met was now the one asking this of him, of them.

Then again, everything was so different, Astarion wasn't even sure what this counted as anymore.

He nodded towards Halsin as the massive druid canted his hips and gently thrust forward again, hands soft on the needy wizard's hips as a carnal shiver ran up Gale's spine before vibrating slowly against the cold fingers that were now starting to warm as they stroked his lips softly.

The old Astarion would have been here for what, pleasure, entertainment, possibly even a little manipulation.

This Astarion wasn't even sure if he would receive his own pleasure during this, and oddly, he wasn't even sure he wanted to this time around.

This Astarion was here to help keep Gale out of his own head, to let the Wizard allow himself to get , well, lost, in his own pleasure, even if it was only this once.

He refocused on stroking Gale's face as he felt the other man tense up a little, then relax and push against Halsin's gentle movements a little more of his own accord, actual soft, needy almost noises barely escaping parted lips.

"..S big..?"

Without his sensitive hearing, Astarion may not have heard the whispered words between soft moans.

"Yes darling, it's also good, that's why we're here, listen to my voice, feel Halsin's movement.. it's good isn't it?"

"..I.."

"Trust, you know we'll stop if you need us to, The size isn't hurting, is it, if not, feel the pleasure, let us carry you through it. You don't need to think at all, just feel it.. feel everything.

Even as he watched, the last bit of tension seemed to melt Gale into both Astarion's lap and Halsin's movements.

As though Astarion's words had flipped a switch, Gale finally let his eyes completely glaze over, letting the sounds he'd been sub-consciously suppressing break past tight vocal cords.

"I think you can move a little more now Halsin."

The druid nodded, before moving one of the hands holding Gale's hips down and underneath so it was fully supporting the wizard's back before changing his angle and increasing his speed by a good, but not aggressive amount.

The support turned out to be a good idea as the change in angle hit something within Gale that made the wizard twist, arch and wail. The sudden intense sound of pleasure muffled as Gale's face suddenly pushed into chill, solid abdominal muscles and vibrated Astarion to his core.

Halsin paused long enough to make sure the Wizard was alright, before resuming his movement, apparently remarkably good at staying at whatever gloriously ruinous angle he's just found Astarion thought as a variety of moans, cries, sounds as well as the undeniable feel of teeth nipping, nibbling, chewing on Astarion's chest.

Astarion didn't see per say, when Gale or Halsin reached climax, too busy making sure nippy teeth didn't actually damage too much of himself.

But he felt it, felt muscles reach the peak of tension, felt the little shudders slowly fade away, before both druid and wizard seemed to become boneless and collapse against him.

They lay like that for several minutes, before Astarion poked them both and sighed.

"Those are snores, not breathing aren't they?"

The only response he got was a snort as the definitely sleeping wizard somehow managing to pin him down even further when he tried to wiggle free.

"This is my bed you both realize?"

Another wiggle somehow brought Halsin up to the centre of the bed.

Astarion blinked as the combined weight of all three of them slowly made the outer edge of his bed vanish from easy viewing distance.

Sighing he pulled the few pillows down and fluffed them as best he could.

"It's a good thing Halsin is naturally warm. I might be able to handle a chill, but Gale would freeze, and there's no way we're getting put to get any spare blankets from this pile anytime soon."

[xadian-daydreams]

Leola - Startouch elves and Unicorns.

I'm a big fan of the Leola is Aaravos' daughter theory, and as I was making a different post I had one of those what ifs that went weird places. Plus, there's a lot of speculation about shapeshifting unicorns because the child Startouch elf holding the Leola's Last Wish in the star map is confirmed to be Leola, who is also mentioned as a unicorn in Tales of Xadia handbook.

So, this theory is full blown tinfoil hat.

Here's a unicorn as depicted in Puzzle House. They have a diamond blaze under their horn. Aaravos' conjured horse also has diamond blade, but hornless. Notice that the shape is the close to Aaravos' missing chest piece, his "white heart".

From the Death of the Immortal poem;

Kazi: "...and though undying, took last breath, immortal Laurelion was no more." Callum: That's good, right? I mean, when someone "was no more," that-that's dead, yeah? Kazi: It's a bit confusing, but that is the clearest implication. Though, it is somewhat odd they call them undying and immortal. Callum: Well, that doesn't sound so immortal? Laurelion "was no more." Right. But how? How did they...? Kazi: Right here. "White as the star's heart it pierced, ivory draconic brought death's bite known ever forth as Novablade." Callum: It's a sword. A weapon that can end a Startouch Elf's mortal existence. The weapon. We did it. We found the answer.

(ivory draconic - wonder if that's a reference to the star dragon bone mentioned in a legend in ToX).

So, here comes the wild speculation part...

What if "took last breath" and [Leola's] "Last Wish" are connected? What if Startouch elves lose their immortality because they have massive amounts of power drawn out of them (aka last breath) by the Novablade to perform a "great wish." What if the drawing takes a twisted form that solidifies, erupting from their heart piece...

And the Startouch is transformed into a unicorn who can die, with the horn being the mark of their final wish.

Why unicorns? Well, part of it's the western fantasy familiarity with unicorns and pure-heartedness. I think only pure hearted Startouch were selected for this...

Going with this, as a child Leola was stabbed with the Novablade, which created the brightest star in the sky - Leola's Last Wish. Now, I think this has something to do with the "heavens" the Startouch elves disappeared to. Using Leola's sacrificed immortality the Startouch created a cosmic home for themselves, which Aaravos ends up getting cast out of.

But what if this isn't just Leola, what if this is just how Startouch effect the world and every unicorn was created this way. Using a (star?) dragon bone blade to sacrifice a pure hearted child's immortal future in order to benefit the greater community. Maybe that's how primal magic was created from deep magic - a child's wish to make life better for others. Unicorns are described as "selfless" - a most cherished value in elf culture.

Take Rayla's example. Doing her duty to her community, by giving up her family, by risking her life to keep others safe, by doing the unpleasant tasks while trying to save other that burden, that's what she's been taught is love. She's sent on a dangerous mission at 15 to reclaim honor and help lift herself out of the shame of her parent's failure - when she had nothing to do with it. She has to prove she's worthy to Silvergrove. When she fails in her duty to her community, she loses their love and is castout.

Extrapolate to a culture where the greatest act of love is sacrificing your forever.

But if Leola is Aaravos' daughter, he probably was less than pleased she lost her immortality just so others could live the life. Even if everyone else praised and honored her, he still lost her. She's depicted as uniquely kind amongst unicorns and he may have felt the others took advantage of her great empathy - and being just a kid. Even if she volunteered, he would have felt the culture pressured her. He might despise the whole practice and culture that benefits from it.

Which makes his action with Sparklepuff more of a dark mirror held up against Startouch practices. Deliberately creating a child purely for sacrificial purpose to benefit from their power is evil... so how can a culture justify brainwashing children to get the same result?

(Kinda headcanoning Leola as a bit of a mash-up of Rayla and Ezran).

Then Leola became humanity's helper, gifting the people of Elarion primal stones and knowledge of primal magic, which led to some learning primal magic, and the Elarion culture flourishing. This appears to have gone against Startouches' warning and to have eventually incurred the Startouches' ire - at least according to Aaravos, who obliques says in Ripple short story that the Startouch killed all the human primal mages by dropping a small star (implied to be Aaravos) and creating the Sea of the Castout. Another slight against Leola that Aaravos may feel the need to rectify, on top of them casting him out. Que introduction of dark magic, plans of vengeance against Startouch etc.

So this theory is pretty out there, as it's not really based off much - Leola on star map & mentioned in ToX, weird wording in the Death of the Immortal poem, odd observation about Aaravos' horse, that only those of pure heart can see the unicorn map, and the "self-sacrificing for duty is love" nature of elf culture. But it was mentioned in an interview that most of Aaravos motivation stems from his relationship with an individual, and losing a daughter to elf culture's emphasis on self-sacrifice that mainly benefits those he finds unworthy of such love? I kinda like it as a motivation.

(Side note, kinda feel Aaravos is making a dig for his own amusement with his mount looking like a hornless unicorn, given that he doesn't have a white heart to stab and isn't pure hearted anyway. Plus, some stuff about why Aaravos is pleased about a unicorn horn being used in the Weapon of Vengeance spell, but that gets off topic so I might come back to that later).

[wttcsms]

sorry if you're not comfortable answering this, but I saw you say that you've been diagnosed with depression. how did you know when to seek help?

tl;dr: from a young age, i never lived a healthy lifestyle with an easy pace. i (and maybe even my family) put too much pressure on me, and i never really coped with it in a healthy manner. my attempt at handling things "with ease" and "not stressing" was actually just me bottling up my emotions, and it's not until things started getting really bad that i finally sought help.

nothing uncomfy abt it at all! discussion of mental health is pretty important! tbh, i never thought i would have depression or be diagnosed with it; i started showing symptoms for around a year before i started really thinking to myself, hey, i think there might be something up with me mentally and this isn't just some silly, quirky thing i'm going through. ever since i was around 18, i went through great lengths to ensure i would achieve maximum academic success but while being a full-time college student and consistently working 60+ hours a week (70+ during the summer bc my junior year internship was so intense; i also went to college 2 years early, so i think that's when the internal pressure to "do well in life" began) was taking a massive toll on me mentally and physically. i would survive off of 4-5 hours of sleep, consume concerning amounts of caffeine, i was losing hair, i was losing drastic amounts of weight, i was breaking out and breaking down, and even when i got better, i still wasn't fully ever healed from that experience purely bc my schedule just never slowed down.

i am still a full-time student, i am still working 7 days a week, leading to 60+ hours (40 hours internship, 20 hours at my weekend part-time job). on top of that, i am in the second to last semester of my grad school, i help out around the house bc after my older sister moved out, i took over the eldest daughter duties, i am still holding myself to a very high standard academically (already planning to apply to phd programs, studying for the cpa exam, already have another summer internship lined up). i knew things were getting bad because 1) i am finally older (im abt to turn 21! yay!) and i realized that the lifestyle i'm living isn't healthy and 2) a lot of my behaviors didn't feel "normal" to me anymore. it finally hit me around two months ago, when i realized that i sort of lost my love for fanfiction. i've been in a weird mood where i didn't want to read any fanfic whatsoever, but i chalked it up to being "too busy" and focused on other things. when i couldn't even find the energy to read my own mutual's fanfic, i knew something was up bc i always try to power through and remain enthusiastic on my friends' behalf. more behaviors that were a cause for concern:

my disinterest in everything that brought me joy previously. sweet treats at the end of the day, coffee before work, buying makeup from sephora, cleaning my room (sounds silly, but i love having a clean living space and cleaning my room used to be a source of peace and joy for me), writing fanfiction, reading books, watching youtube videos, catching up on shows that would release weekly and that i used to count down the days to watch — none of it held my interest. i wasn't excited, i didn't care.

it wasn't just a lack of joy from things i loved, either. rejections from programs i looked forward to/rejections from opportunities, abysmal grades in class, looming deadlines that i most likely wouldn't make, growing assignments on my work to-do list; none of this elicited a reaction from me. there was no stress (that i was feeling; subconsciously, i think the stress was still there and i just refused to acknowledge it), but there also wasn't disappointment or sadness. i had no emotional response to anything, and that was very concerning to me, and the main reason i contacted my sister and then her boyfriend (who is a licensed psychiatrist)

i could sleep for 12+ hours a day. there are many days in the week where all i want to do is rot in bed. not even in a "go on my phone and dick around in bed" type of way, either. i would have certain days where i couldn't leave the bed. sometimes, i wouldn't even feel tired, but i would just sleep. my internship is wfh and if it was a slow day with no assignments, i would clock in and spend that whole day in my bed, sleeping. it got to the point where i wish work was busy so i would have something to force me out of bed. yes, i would be aware of my tiredness sometimes, but this felt different altogether. i just wanted to basically hibernate lol.

i had constant headaches. i thought it was because of the nature of my job, where i look at computer screens all day, or maybe it was bc i wasn't drinking enough water. i would also get unexplainable cramps sometimes.

tmi, but little to no pleasure and an extreme decline in interest in sex

i had extreme issues with focusing on work and studying; a lot of my work (and school materials) centers around thinking through problems and applying tax law or guidance to certain situations.

my diet fluctuated; some days, i wouldn't want to eat, yesterday, i gorged myself on food, eating to the point where even i had to pause and go wtf.

not very often was i randomly sad, nor did i ever want to kill myself or self-harm; when i was a teenager (17/18) and probably showing signs of depression, i was very irritable, angry, sad, and had suicidal thoughts, thought i was worthless, an idiot, etc. however, i mostly just feel empty and apathetic during my episodes now.

what helped me seek help was knowing that my behaviors and how i was feeling didn't feel healthy, but also, my best friend recently shared her diagnosis with me and i would have never thought she would be depressed. my sister's bf was also a major help in getting me comfortable to consider the possibility of having a mental illness and also in finding someone to talk to. hope this helps!

edit: forgot to mention it, but i exhibited many/all of those symptoms for around the past 3 months before ever seeking help. those behaviors started manifesting tremendously and seriously disrupting my daily life, and i knew i needed to do something to get my life back on track.