#but man. man people screaming and yelling about how 14 is going down the toilet because of this I’m just like. shut up

[impossible-rat-babies]

the doom posting that comes around whenever a cash shop outfit comes out is deeply obnoxious at this point ngl

[elianamarie-blog]

The Things You Give Pt 14

Steven Hyde x Read

Happy Holidays and New Years everyone! I can’t believe we’re already 14 parts in. I’m so glad you guys are loving the story! Tag list is open if you want to be a part of it :)

Beep, beep, beep.

           The sound of the heart monitor was the only noise resourcing from the room. Hyde sat beside y/n, watching as her chest gently rose and fell, and listened to Red interrogate Eric from the hallway.

           “What do you mean you don’t know what happened?!” Red asked him in his usual gruff tone.

           “I don’t, Dad!” Eric defended. “All I saw is that she was sick and she was trying to get Fez and Hyde to stop fighting and she just dropped!”

           “And you didn’t catch her?” Red fumed. “She could’ve gotten hurt!”

           “Well, I didn’t expect her to fall!” he responded.

           “Red, honey, your yelling isn’t making anything easier,” Kitty said quietly.

           “For me it is!”

           “Red,” she said more sternly.

           “Well, have they figured out what’s wrong with her?” the worried father asked impatiently.

           “No, they haven’t,” Kitty answered calmly.

           “What’s taking them so long?” he grumbled. “We’ve been here for hours!”

           Kitty blinked at her husband. “We’ve been here for twenty-five minutes.”

           “And our daughter has been unconscious for forty! My little girl is in there now and I want answers, dammit!”

           “Red, she’s fine,” Kitty said, trying to soothe him. “She’s tucked in a bed right now with monitoring and her breathing is normal. They drew her blood and we’re just waiting on the test results.”

           “They need to come faster!” he shouted, causing Kitty to frantically look around and smile nervously as her coworkers stared at them.

           “Hey, Mom, if Dad has another heart attack, at least it’ll save us another ambulance bill since we’re already at a hospital,” Eric said grinning, sarcasm bleeding into his tone.

           “Can it, dumbass!” Red snarled.

           Inside the room, y/n groaned, hearing the arguing from outside and slowly opened her eyes, seeing nothing but white. Her head felt someone was taking a jack hammer to her skull. Steven noticed and waited anxiously by her side.

           “Why do they have to be so loud?” she mumbled.

           Steven sighed in relief and grabbed her hand. “Are you okay? How’re you feeling?”

           “I think so,” she croaked. “I feel like crap and I’m tired.”

           Hyde chuckled softly and leaned over, kissing her head softly. “You scared the crap out of me.”

           “What happened? Am I in the hospital?” she asked, not letting go of his hand.

           Hyde paused, searching her face. “You don’t—? You fainted and hit the ground pretty hard. They think you may have gotten a concussion.”

           “Well, that explains my headache,” she grumbled and rubbed her head. She looked at Steven who was still looking at her with worried eyes. “Where is everyone?”

           “Your parents are out in the hall with your brother, Fez is here but went to find ice cream.” He rolled his eyes at the thought but continued. “And everyone else is on their way.”

           “How long have I been out?”

           “About forty-five minutes. I’m glad you’re okay,” he answered and pulled her hand up to his lips, placing a gentle kiss.

           If it wasn’t for her head screaming at her, her heart would be fluttering away like butterflies, but all she wanted to do was numb the pain. A sharp pain surged through her skull, causing her to hiss.

           “What’s wrong? Are you alright?” he asked her.

           She tried to nod, but that caused more pain to her skull. “My head hurts. A lot.”

           “That’s what happens when you smack your head on concrete,” he answered. “You have a pretty good-sized knot on your head.”

            Y/n reached up and felt her scalp until she felt a painful bump behind the side of her head. She winced at her own touched. “Ow.”

           “Maybe you shouldn’t do that,” Hyde chuckled. “I’m going to go get something to drink. Do you want anything?”

           Her stomach churned at the thought of liquids and scrunched up her nose. “No, but I probably should. I’ll take a ginger ale if they have any.”

           “You got it, doll,” he said and walked out just as the doctor was stepping in.

           “Good afternoon, Miss Forman,” the middle-aged, dark haired man said. “I’m Dr. Kipp. I’ve been looking over you while you were out. How are you feeling?”

           “Not gonna lie, Doc, I feel pretty lousy,” Y/n responded. “I’ve been sick for the last couple of days. Not being able to keep anything down, I’m achy all over…I’m starting to wonder if I have the stomach flu or something. On top of that, my head is killing me.”

           “Well, you passed out due to your blood pressure dropping which caused a lack of blood to the brain, but it’s definitely not the stomach flu,” Dr. Kipp answered casually, setting down his clipboard as he went over to the sink to wash his hands.

           “How do you know that?” Y/n questioned him.

           “Well, it can’t be because you’re pregnant.”

                                                  --Time Skip—

           “How’s y/n doing?” Donna asked as she got to the waiting room, flowers in hand.

           “Oh, that’s so sweet that you got her flowers!” Kitty gushed, making Donna smile. “And she’s awake. The doctor is in there right now with her.”

           “Oh, good,” she said and sat down next to Fez who was quietly eating ice cream. “Where did you get the ice cream?”

           “Oh, I told them that y/n was my wife and they let me get ice cream!” he replied stoically.

           “So, you’re telling me that you hit on her and now you’re telling people she’s your wife?” Hyde seethed, holding a cup of coffee in one and a ginger ale can in the other.

           “Can you kids not fight for five damn minutes please?” Red asked impatiently. “It’s bad enough that we’re here, I don’t want to have to hear about your petty drama.”

           “Hey, don’t get mad at me. You’re the reason she’s here in the first place,” said Fez.

           “Why would it be your fault?” Kitty asked Hyde.

           “It’s not!” Hyde replied. “He’s just saying crap so I can knock his teeth in.”

           Kitty and Red squinted their eyes at the teens for a moment. “What on earth is going on here?” Kitty asked, growing frustrated.

           “Nothing,” Hyde answered through gritted, glaring daggers at Fez.

           Fez returned the glare. “You know, Hyde, I often wonder what it would be like to hook up with my best friend’s sister. Don’t you?”

            Hyde’s expression hardened. “It’s a good thing we’re in a hospital because when I break your bones, you’re already here!” Hyde aggressively moved towards Fez, but was stopped short by Eric getting in between them.

           “Okay! That’s enough,” he sang-song. “Hyde, why don’t you sit over there quietly and don’t beat up Fez.” He turned to Fez. “And Fez? Shut the hell up.”

           Hyde jerked himself away. “I’m going to go give this to y/n.”

           Back in the room, y/n felt like the wind had been knocked out of her lungs. “I’m…what?”

           “Pregnant,” he responded in a faux enthusiastic voice. “That was through the blood test. We’re going to have you take urine test as well. So,” he pulled out a plastic cup. “You’re going to pee in this cup and when you’re finished, pull the string and a nurse will come in and collect it. Then, we’ll do a full examination on you to make sure your head is okay.”

           Y/n nodded numbly and mindlessly grabbed the cup in her hand. “Okay…”

           “Probably not the news you were expecting, huh?” he asked.

           Y/n chuckled weakly. “No. Not at all.”

           “Well, I’ll be back soon with your test results.”

           He walked out the door, leaving y/n alone in the room. Her hands felt numb and she felt like there was static all around her. How could she be pregnant? How did she let this happen? And oh God, what was she going to say to Steven? Her eyes widened. Her parents?!

           A sudden heavy weight was shattered onto her chest and her eyes began to water. How was she going to tell everyone? What if her dream came true and she truly was alone? Could she raise a baby on her own? Where would she live? What job would she have to do to support her baby? Was she even going to be a good mom? Will her children grow up to be decent people? What if they’re born with health conditions? Or they fall ill? Can she even count on herself to get out of bed at 2 AM to go to the 24 hour store to buy cough medicine when they get sick? How do you even change a poopy diaper? How is she going to react when they’re teenagers and they’re learning how to drive or get their first boyfriend or girlfriend? What kind of mom was she going to be? What kind father was Steven going to be? Will he even stick around?

           With all these questions swimming through her head, she didn’t notice Steven walk back in. “I got that ginger ale you—hey, you okay?”

           Y/n snapped her head up as she was yanked out of her thoughts, which she silently thanked heaven above for. “Y-yeah, I’m fine.”

           “You sure?” he asked as he set down the drink on the table next to her. “You don’t look fine. In fact, you look kinda pale.”

           “Yeah, um,” she stuttered, swallowing hard and waved her hand casually. “The doctor says I passed out due to lack of blood to the brain. Blood tests came back normal, but he wants me to take a urine test just to be sure.” Not a total lie. Just left out a part.

           “Oh, okay. Do you need help getting to the bathroom?”

           “I think I got it,” she answered truthfully and slowly got out of bed, barley able to feel her legs. She ambled her way to the bathroom, dragging the IV along with her. She felt Steven’s stare burning a hole in the back of her head, but she couldn’t think of what he was thinking right now. She couldn’t. It would drive her to an anxiety attack.

           She closed the door quietly and baby stepped her way to the toilet. She passed by the mirror and did a double take to her reflection. Her ponytail was a complete rats nest, her eyes had dark circles under them, and her normally rosy cheeks had lost all color. She looked half dead and she wanted to cringe away. She turned her head to the side and saw the swelled up bump on her skull. She winced when she saw it and let out a sigh. She really wanted to curl up into a ball and sleep for 72 hours.

           She made her way to the toilet and shakily did her business in the cup. When she was finished, she left in on the counter in the bathroom and pulled the string. After she was finished washing up, she walked out to meet Steven sitting in the chair.

           “Hey,” he said gently whispered.

           “Hey,” she answered in the same manner. “Where is everyone?”

           “In the waiting room. Do you want to see them?”

           Her heart dropped, but she needed to play it cool. “Yeah, that would be nice.”

           He nodded and opened the door to call them in. She got back in bed with Hyde’s help, making sure her IV wouldn’t get pulled out of her arm.

           “Oh, y/n,” Kitty sobbed and rushed over to y/n who was sitting up fully and wrapped her arms around her. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

           Y/n barley reciprocated the hug. “I’m okay, Mom.”

           “When we saw you being loaded up into the ambulance, I thought I was going to die right there,” Kitty responded, stepping away from her daughter.

           “I’m fine, Mom. Really.”

           “What did the doctor say?” she pried.

           “Uh…they don’t know yet,” Y/n replied. “They’re taking a urine sample.”

           “Well, a person fainting is never a good thing,” Kitty stated matter-of-factly. “It means your blood pressure dropped and you weren’t getting enough blood flow to the brain. Those things just don’t happen.”

           “I know. They’re running tests right now,” Y/n said and leaned back against the pillows.

           “When will we find out?” Red pushed.

           “I don’t know,” Y/n responded growing annoyed. “I don’t know anything.” Lie, lie, LIE.

           “Well, we better find out soon,” Red said. “This place gives me the creeps.”

           “If you wanna leave, you can. I’m a big girl, I can leave on my own,” Y/n responded.

           “No, no, I wanna be here in this room when the doctor comes and tells us what’s wrong,” Kitty said stubbornly.

          Y/n’s heart and stomach dropped. There was no way anyone was going to be in this room when the doctor came back with the results. Positive or not, she didn’t need her parents asking questions and then finding out about her and Steven.

           She kept her face and voice as calm as possible. “No, no it’s okay. Really. I don’t know if I want everyone in here anyway. In fact, it’s probably best that I’m alone.”

           “Oh, nonsense. I—”

           “Kitty, if she wants to be alone, then we’ll leave her alone. She’s an adult now. She doesn’t need us in here,” Red said, signaling to his wife that they leave. “Besides, the Packers’s game is on and I wanna go home.”

           Kitty sighed, annoyed. “Fine. Fine, I’ll leave, but I want to hear everything, missy.”

           Y/n’s eyes widened a fraction and her heart beat violently against her blood cage. She could practically feel her blood pumping through her veins. She nodded numbly. “Okay.”

           Kitty nodded and kissed y/n on the head before leaving. She felt some tension leave her body as she watched her parents leave. She leaned her head back against the pillow and closed her eyes, feeling completely drained.

           “Are you okay?” Donna asked.

           “Yeah,” she mumbled. “Just…feeling depleted.”

           “Well, you can’t go to sleep yet,” Hyde said. “You might have a concussion.”

           “I want sleep,” she whined.

           “I know, but I’d rather you be exhausted than not wake up at all,” he responded.

           She glared at him through half open eye lids and grumbled, “I hate you.”

           He chuckled lightly. “I know.”

           The door to the room opened revealing Kelso, Fez and Jackie.

           “Hey, y/n, how are you feeling?” Kelso asked.

           “Bout as great as I look,” she replied, a weak smile playing her lips.

           “So, super sexy,” Fez responded cheekily but that smile quickly faded when Hyde punched his shoulder. “Ow.”

           “Remember: Respect,” was all Hyde said before sitting back down.

           “I heard what happened,” Kelso responded. “And Brooke made me bring you these.” He handed her a small bouquet of yellow daisies and lilies.

           Y/n chuckled, accepting the flowers. “Tell Brooke I said thank you for the nice gesture. And tell her to bring the baby around soon. I want to meet my niece.”

           Kelso’s face brightened. “You…you really think of her that way?”

           Y/n nodded. “Why wouldn’t I? We’ve all been best friends since we were little and it only makes sense that we look at each other more than just friends now.”

           “Like lovers?” Fez asked her seductively.

           “Do you have a death wish?” Hyde spat.

           “Okay, Steven that’s enough,” Y/n said as sternly as she could. “And Fez, shut up.”

           Fez pouted and went and sat in the corner of the room.

           “You know what? My mind is made up,” Kelso said. Y/n stared at him curiously, everyone joining in.

           “Kelso, in order for your mind to be made up, you have to have a brain,” Eric commented.

           Kelso shot Eric a glare before turning his head back towards y/n and Hyde. “I’ve been spending a lot of time with Betsy lately and Brooke is really starting to trust me.”

           “Okay, and that makes up your mind for?” Y/n asked him.

           “Hang on, just let me finish,” he said smiling. “Brooke is starting to trust me so much she’s even allowing me to pick the godparents.”

           “Oh, that’s great!” Y/n gleefully responded. “I’m so happy for you.”

           “And there’s only one rule. It can’t be Fez,” Kelso added on.

           Fez nodded. “That is a good rule.”

           “Godparents?” Donna mumbled to Eric. “Like we need any more responsibilities.”

           “I know,” Eric whispered back, rolling his eyes. “Such a burden.”

           “I’ve been thinking about it a lot and it’s a big deal. So,” Kelso said, stepping closer to the bed where Eric and Donna sat. “Eric, Donna.”

           “Uh, oh,” Eric sang-song.

           “Please scooch over so I can ask Hyde and y/n if they’ll be Betsy’s godparents?”

           Y/n looked at Hyde with excited eyes. “Really?!”

           “What the hell?!” Eric exclaimed.

           “Hyde and y/n?” Donna asked insulted.

           “You picked Hyde and y/n?” Jackie asked, equally insulted. “Why didn’t you ask someone else? Like me?”

           “Because you’re single,” Kelso deadpanned.

           Jackie crossed her arms. “And?”

           “And you need to be in a relationship to be a godparent,” Kelso responded slowly like he was scared to continue speaking. “That’s why they call it godparents. You can’t be single and be a godparent. That’s just stupid.” He laughed and rolled his eyes.

           Jackie stared at him in disbelief, trying to make sense of what he said. “That barley makes any sense, you moron.”

           “Hey, hey, hey, he chose us. Let him speak,” Y/n said not trying to contain her glee. “Not that I’m questioning your choice because, you know, you chose us, but why us?”

           “Because I really trust you and I think you’d be fantastic with Betsy,” he responded sweetly.

           “And you don’t think we won’t?” Eric asked.

           “Yeah, you don’t trust us?” Donna chimed in.

           “Well, to be fair, I’ve seen you drop almost everything you’ve held in your hands,” Kelso responded. “And you’ve never really taken care of a baby.”

           “Yes we have!” Donna defended. “Remember that time last year when Laurie had to babysit that one baby and I ended up changing her diaper when she couldn’t? I was a freakin’ natural!”

           “Yeah, I mean, if you gave me the honor of being godmother, I would be popular, head cheerleader, and voted best legs. This would give me another title,” Jackie argued.

           “Would you guys relax?” Hyde asked everyone. “It’s not that big of deal.”

           “Yeah, it’s not like he’s shunning you guys,” Y/n responded.

           “You’re all still going to be aunts and uncles,” Kelso defended.

           “Yeah, that’s easy for you to say,” Jackie grumbled and joined Fez in the back.

           “We can be good godparents,” Eric argued. “You can trust us.”

           “Eric, remember Goldie, the goldfish?” Y/n asked.

           “Yeah,” he responded.

           “Remember how you killed Goldie by taking him out of the fish bowl?”

           “I needed to hug something,” Eric answered coldly. “Besides, I’m not going to have to flush a baby down the toilet!”

           “Either way, man, thanks. I’m honored,” Hyde said and clapped his hand with Kelso’s and pulled him in for a bro hug.

           “If I have another kid, I’ll make you two godparents. I promise,” Kelso said.

           Eric huffed. “Yeah, yeah.”

           “Alright, I have to take a leak,” Hyde announced.

           “And I’m going to go find some more ice cream,” Fez said.

          “Can you guys make sure y/n doesn’t fall asleep?” Hyde continued.

           “You got it pal!” Kelso responded and watched as Hyde and Fez walked out.

           “I’m not a child,” Y/n responded once they were out of ear shot. “I am perfectly capable of looking after myself, thank you.”

           “Kelso!” Fez called out and barged back into the room. “Kelso, come quick! There’s a hot nurse fight happening downstairs! Hurry before it ends!”

           “See ya,” Kelso said and scrambled out the room, leaving Jackie, Eric, and Donna alone.

           “Yeah, I’m leaving too,” Jackie said pouting. “I don’t want to sit here and be reminded that I wasn’t picked for godparent. I may have to do some shopping therapy to get over it. Bye!” She squealed and walked out, leaving just the twins and Donna.

           “Do you need anything sis?” Eric asked. “Some water? Fluff up your pillows? Relinquish your title of godparent over to me?”

           Y/n gave her twin a look before scoffing. “No, thanks. I’m fine.”

           “Fine. I’ll just go see if they have any teddy bears in the gift shop that reads ‘Not Quite the Best Godparents’ and maybe it’ll be tear absorbent!” With that, he stormed out the room, leaving Elena in stunned silence.

           Donna rolled her eyes. “I better go after him. Last time I left him alone while he was upset, he thought I didn’t care about him anymore and didn’t speak to me for three days.”

           She left, leaving y/n alone in the room. Again. She leaned back once more, enjoying the silence, but now that she was alone again, she realized just how loud the silence was. All she could think was pregnant, pregnant, pregnant.    

           “What am I going to do?” she mumbled to herself.

           The door to the room opened again; Dr. Kipp entering once more.

           “Hi Miss. Forman,” Dr. Kipp greeted. “We got your test results back.”

           She gulped. “And?”

           He sat down on the stool next to her bed and looked her in the eyes. “It’s positive.”

           Her heart dropped completely, and it felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. “I’m pregnant?”

           “I know this is a lot to take in, but we need to gather some more information from you so we can determine how far along you are. But first the basics. What’s your full name?”

           “Y/f/n y/m/n Forman.”

           He scratched her answer down on his clipboard. “Birthday?”

           “May 18, 1959.”

           “So, that makes you eighteen years old, correct?”

           Y/n nodded.

           “Okay, and your current address?”

           “416 Edlebrook Ave.”

           “Beautiful,” the doctor responded and looked up from his clipboard. “Do you know who the father is?”

           Tears started to burn her eyes as she nodded her head. “I do.”

           “What’s his name?”

           “Steven James Hyde.”

           “When was your last menstrual cycle?”

           “Somewhere in mid September.”

           “And today is October 19,” he said more to himself. “So, you are about three weeks along. Now, I’m going to give this information to the nurse and have her give you a pamphlet and a referral to an OB/GYN. I’ll have them give you a call to set up an appointment. Do we have permission to leave a message with someone if you’re not available?”

           “Uh…no, just me is fine, thanks. I’m not ready to tell people yet.”

           He nods. “Understandable. Now, let’s look at your head and see how you’re doing.” As he took out a flashlight and started examining her eyes, Hyde walked back in the room.

           “Hey, Doc. How’s she doing?” he asked.

           “Well, I’m not seeing any signs of concussion, so that’s good.” He turned off the light and started feeling around underneath her jaw to the back of her head where he felt her bump. She winced and he took note of it. “She seems great besides that nasty bump. Just put some ice on it if it starts to hurt and take some aspirin for the pain. Otherwise, you’re good to go.”

           “What about her test results?”

           Dr. Kipp glanced at y/n and saw her terrified look. He glanced back at Steven who looked worried. “Test results came back normal and she’s perfectly healthy.” He noticed Steven visibly relax. “Anything else, she may discuss with you at her discretion.”

           Y/n mouthed a thank you to the doctor who gave her a subtle nod and finished writing his notes on his clipboard. “I’ll have a nurse discharge you. You have a good rest of your night and rest up.”

           Y/n nodded. “Thank you.”

           With that, he left the room, leaving y/n wanting to vomit—and not from feeling sick this time. She continued to sit in her bed, not being able to properly process the information. Her world felt fuzzy and she felt like she was going to pass out for a second time. She could hear Steven talking to her, but it was all garbled and muffled as if she were underwater. Was her dream right? Was she going to be disowned by her family? Is she going to disappoint her mother? Oh no, how is Red going to take this? She and Steven are dead. Dead like road kill.

           She heard Steven’s muffled voice again, but this time louder. She blinked and looked up at Steven. “I’m sorry, what?”

           He knitted his eyebrows at her. “I said, are you okay? Do you need help getting dressed?”

           She shook her heavy head and slowly slid out of bed. “I should be okay.” She untied her hospital gown, allowing it to pool around her feet. She shivered as the cold air hit her bare skin and turned to see her clothes balled up in a plastic bag. She slowly started dressing herself and felt Hyde’s eyes burn into her the whole time.

           She finally looked up at him as she finished putting on her pajama top. “What’s up?”

           “Are you sure you’re okay? You’re acting different.”

           She nodded, not being able to look him in the eye. “Yeah, I think so. Just still not feeling well and feeling a little disoriented from the fall. But I think I’m good.”

           He eyed her for a minute. “Okay,” he responded slowly. “As long as you don’t pass out on me again.”

           She chuckled. “I think I’ll be okay.”

           A knock came at the door and the nurse walked in. “Okay, Miss Forman. Here are your doctor’s notes to help you feel better. Plenty of rest and fluids. And—” She noticed Steven listening to her and she looked back down at the pamphlet in her hands and slid the doctor’s notes over it. “Here’s everything you else need to know. If you have any questions, there’s a number you can call and if you don’t get better or start to feel worse, come on back in.”

           Y/n thanked her and quietly gathered the rest of her stuff and headed out with Steven. He guided her slowly into the camino and started up the car. She rested her elbow on the windowsill of the door and leaned her head into her hand, feeling like sleep will overtake her any minute now. Hyde placed a gentle hand on her thigh and lovingly rubber circles with his thumb.

           “Let’s get you back in bed, yeah?”

           She swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded, not being able to form words in fear she would start crying.

           The drive home was deathly quiet as rain started to fall. The only noise emitting was outside as the rain fell onto the windshield. Not being able to handle the silence, Hyde reached over and turned on the radio, allowing the music to softly fill the car. It eased the tension slightly, allowing y/n to relax.

           He pulled up in front of a supermarket and put the car in park.

           “What are we doing here?” she croaked.

           “Do you want some soup?”

           She gave him a small smile. “That would be nice. Thank you.”

           He nodded and got out of the car, leaving it on so the heater would warm up y/n. Ever since the hospital, she’d been cold and not able to heat up as fast as she normally would. She shivered, realizing she didn’t bring a jacket or her robe. She looked around the car and noticed a blanket behind the driver’s seat. She wrapped her cold fingers around the soft material and realized it was their sex blanket. She crunched up her nose a little, noticing some stains. “Ugh, gross,” she murmured before placing the clean side on her. The stench of sex filled her nostrils, but luckily it didn’t upset her stomach more than it already was.

           She waited in the car for a few more minutes with the blanket pulled up to her chin and listened to the music. Paul Anka came on, singing (You’re) Having My Baby.

           “Would you look at that,” she grumbled and changed the station. Stevie Wonder’s Isn’t She Lovely was on playing. “What the…” she grumbled and changed it to another station. A country song this time was playing. One that y/n didn’t know, but it was better than the others, so she left it on. She listened to the lyrics as they went:

           The girls in New York City, they all march for women's lib And better homes and garden shows, the modern way to live And the pill may change the world tomorrow, but meanwhile, today Here in Topeka, the flies are a buzzin' The dog is a barkin' and the floor needs a scrubbin' One needs a spankin' and one needs a huggin' Lord, one's on the way

Oh gee, I hope it ain't twins, again.

             “Are you kidding me?” She reached over and turned off the radio, choosing to sit in silence.

           Just then the driver’s door opened and Steven clambered inside with a container of chicken soup in one hand and a pack of cigarettes in the other. “Here you go, doll.”

           “Awe, thank you, baby.” She grabbed the container from his hands and allowed the warmth to thaw her icy ones.

           “You turned off the music?” he questioned and started to beat the pack against the heel of his hand.

           “Yeah, there was nothing good on.” Technically not a lie.

           “Ah, makes sense,” he responded and noticed the blanket. He snorted teasingly. “Cold?”

           “No, no, I’m burning up actually. The blanket was so I could feel like I’m in hell.”

           He threw his add head back laughing. “Take it easy, Firecracker. If I hada known you were cold, I would’ve given you my jacket.”

           She smirked at him. “Nah, this is fine. Thanks. Besides, I wouldn’t want you to be cold.”

           “I’ll be fine,” he said and stuck a cigarette between his lips.

           Y/n’s eyes widened and quickly ripped it from him mouth.

           “What the hell, y/n?”

           “Uh, I’m still not feeling well enough. I don’t want hurl all over your car.”

           He scrunched up his nose at her. “Fine. Fair point. But I’m smoking when I get back!”

            Y/n shook her head at him. “What a rebel.”

           “Damn straight,” he responded and turned the car on. “Don’t forget who you’re with.”

           “I couldn’t even if I wanted to.”

           He smiled at her before backing up and driving them home for the night.

                                                 --Time Skip—

           The next couple of days were brutal for y/n. Kitty wouldn’t stop interrogating her and y/n finally told something made up to get her off her back. Kitty didn’t believe her, but she backed off knowing she’ll be back again. She wanted so badly to tell Steven about her pregnancy, but every time she tried, it would come out a different sentence.

         “I’m,” she would start, but right when she would look into his baby blue eyes, she would panic. “hungry. I’m hungry, starving! Can we go get something to eat?”

         He would give her a weird look before agreeing and leaving to buy her food.

           On top of that, morning sickness would rear its ugly head and she would end up being sick at the most random of times. She would be sitting down in the basement with her friends, feeling fine, but then she would feel her lunch coming back up and she would have to haul ass to the nearest restroom.

           Everyone was worried about her, trying to get her to go back to the doctor, but she already knew. She had secretly made the appointment with the OB/GYN and wasn’t going to be able to see her until two weeks out. Until then, she had to keep lying and making excuses.

           “It’s been almost a week,” Eric said one afternoon as they were all huddled into the basement. “You really should go back to the doctor.”

                      “I’d rather not,” Y/n said. “Going to the doctors for every sniff and cough is not my thing.”

                     “But it’s not just a sniffle or a cough,” he pointed out. “It’s like one minute you’re fine and then the next you’re throwing up Mom’s tuna casserole.”

                  “That was a long night,” she countered, remembering that night as she had to lay on the floor next to the toilet for hours because she couldn’t stop throwing up.

             “Well, can you still keep down fluids?” Donna asked. “Like, chicken broth, orange juice, and tea?”

           “Yeah, those are fine,” Y/n responded. “I just can’t seem to digest solid foods. But I was able to drink apple juice the other day with some bread. I’m also not nauseas all day anymore. I think I’m getting better.”

             “Well, if you’re feeling better, wanna go shoot some hoops?” Kelso asked.

             “Nah, but you guys can,” Y/n responded. “Me and Donna can just sit and ogle.”

             “I knew you were checking me out,” Kelso purred and rubbed his chest.

             “Not you, you dork,” Y/n said. “Hyde and Eric.”

                      “You ogle at me?” Eric said disgusted. “That’s gross.”

             “No! Donna is, you dumbass!” Y/n said and stood up while Eric laughed. “Moron.”

             She walked outside to the driveway with everyone behind her. As they reached the driveway, the boys split up into their group while Donna and y/n moved away to watch from the porch.

             “So, Hyde, how’s it been with you and y/n?” Kelso asked under his breath, making sure the girls couldn’t hear.

             “You know, things are going good, but with her being sick this past week, it’s been kinda hard not getting any action,” Hyde responded.

             “Ewwwww! Could you please not?” Eric exclaimed. “I told you I don’t wanna hear it.”

             “I know, that’s why I did it,” Hyde laughed and tossed the ball to Eric. “Your play. Go.”

             The girls watched from the porch, admiring the way their men looked. Y/n wanted so badly to jump Hyde’s bones, but didn’t want to puke in the middle of it and ruin the mood. She and Donna chatted idly as they watched their men get sweaty and hot.

             “Look, I know he’s your brother, but damn does he look hot when he’s all concentrated,” Donna swooned as she watched Eric block Fez’s slam dunk.

             “Really? I think he looks constipated,” Y/n laughed.

             In the middle of the play, Eric turned, facing them while trying to block Kelso from making his shot. The concentration he wore on his face made Donna drool but laugh.

             “You’re right, he does look constipated,” she agreed and laughed even more.

             “I know you don’t think so, but Steven just looks so good when he’s moving around like that,” Y/n said and stared at her boyfriend. “I mean, when he gets all sweaty and flushed, it makes me want him so bad.”

             Donna chuckled. “So, how have you guys been?”

             “We’ve been good. You know with me being this sick, we haven’t really gotten the time to do it or anything.”

             “From the looks of it earlier and hearing Eric scream ‘ew’ makes me believe that Hyde already said something like that to him,” Donna laughed once more.

             Y/n chuckled. “Sounds about right.”

             They fell into a comfortable silence as they watched the four boys play basketball. The entire time, y/n’s heart was hammering against her chest, debating on telling Donna right there. She couldn’t take keeping a secret this big from her best friend. Besides, if she wasn’t going to tell someone soon, she was going to explode.

             “Donna,” she said shakily. “I have something to tell you.”

             Seeing how serious her tone was, Donna perked up. “What?”

             “I need you to promise me that you’re not going to freak out. Because if you do, everyone will hear it and I can’t have that right now.”

             Donna’s heart started beating wildly against her own ribcage, now nervous and worried. “Okay?”

           “And whatever happens, promise me you’ll still be my friend?”

           “Of course! What’s going on?”

             Y/n took a deep breath before looking Donna in the eye. At that moment, she wanted to crawl up in a bawl and just cry. But she knew she couldn’t; She had to be strong. So instead she let out a shaky breath.

             “I’m pregnant.”

@lieswithoutfairytales​ @mdittyz123​ @n-dg-wm​ @undead-sierra​ @random-thoughts-003​ @taysirene​ 

[taliel-strykidz]

Avacado

Huannie stared down at it like it was the end of her existance, like it was about to grow into an animal and eat her alive. She stared at it as if the longer she did hopefully the printed words would change. She glanced over to her phone noticing that Luhan would be back from filming any time soon, so she paced around the bathroom for a couple of minutes until she wanted to scream.

"This can't be happening." She mumbled to herself, fiddling with the object and placed it next to her phone which held a news article of the screen. "It's impossible."

She sat down on the toilet seat lid after a good ten minutes of pacing she put her head in her hands wondering what the hell had occured over the past month. Out of pure confusion she dialled Jinyoung's number into the facetime and bravely waited for it to connect.

"Is it possible for you to fly out here for a couple of days?"

"I told you last week that I don't have time to fly out there Ai-Huan. I barely have enough time-"

"But you have enough time to have dinner with that co-host of yours?" She wiggled her iPad with the Dispatch article on it and slammed it onto the counter. "It hasn't even been three months yet and you do this to me? Even when I was about to call you to tell you-"

The phone hung up. She didn't know what to think at that moment, she felt like the late night calls and the facetimes weren't cutting it for him and he was bored. Like she wasn't worth waiting for. Out of every person she could have been virtually married to and dating, she never thought Park Jinyoung was the type to do this.

But actions speak louder than words.

Media outlets were Idol's worst nightmare, especially those who catch you in your worst moments to the whole world Jinyoung was now a man who had been caught red handed,

Then Jinyoung called 14 times.

"What do you want Jinyoung?"

"It wasn't my choice Huan." He attempted to reassure her, his eyes boaring into the screen.

"You kept texting me that, but it's bullshit." She let go of the small bit of hope that the media had just twisted a friendly lunch out of proportion, but when she got sent pictures of him kissing his co-host she could no longer wrap her head around it. Jinyoung had been texting her whilst she drowned in panic that it wasn't his fault and that it had been staged to promote Got7's new album.

"Please hear me out." He pressed as he watched her start to gather something off of the bathroom counter, refusing to acknowledge the fact he was trying to justify his disgusting actions. In Huannie's mind no matter whether it was a real affair or it was a PR stunt, they were both as disgusting as eachother.

After the show We Got Married had agreed to film the two and how they cope in a long distanced relationship, they didn't think much of it. But that morning when the producers were claiming they'd be pulling the show off air if Jinyoung's news continued to circulate Huannie thought it was time to air it out into the open.

"What do you want me to say Jinyoung?" She stopped angrily, stopping packing up whatever was on the counter to stare at him with frustrated tears.

"That you're not angry with me, it's only until you're back Huan. It's just PR." It really was too much for Huannie to handle.

"Are you kidding me right now?" She burst out. "You actually agreed with this bullshit?"

"It isn't that big of a deal as you're making it, you're there for another two months or so, then everything will be back to normal." He tried to recover his pride, but the damage had been done already.

"So I have to sit and suffer, people telling me that my boyfriend is a cheating scumbag. I have to sit here whilst the father to my child fucks around with another woman? Is that what I have to do Park Jinyoung?" She should have known not to answer the phone again.

The words left him. He stared into those deep brown eyes burning with anger and heartbreak, and his own heart fell silent. "Answer me!" She yelled. But he couldn't will his lips to move. As if he was stuck underwater, everything was slow and warbled as she showed the pregancy papers with a shaky hand to the camera. "Do you have nothing to day? I have done nothing but suffer for the past few days, now tell me what you were thinking when you agreed to that stupid idea!" She demanded. But his mind was blank and his eyes wide as he stared at her in shock. Her eyes desperately searched the screen... waiting. He had to say something, but as he searched his mind for something to say it fell on deaf ears.

"I'm sorry Huan, I didn't think it would be like this." Jinyoung began to panic on the otherside of the phone upon the realisation of what she had just said.

"Don't go on these terms, you've just found out we're having a baby you're just overwhelmed-" She cuts him off with a laugh void of any humour or amusement present.

"So, i'm supposed to let go the fact you went on multiple dates with this girl, because i'm pregnant with your child?"

Something in him told him that she was going to do something that neither of them wanted, he believed she was going to end it there and there. Afterall Huannie could be petty when she wanted to be.

"It's just PR right? That's what you said?"

"Huan don't do this. I didn't mean to-"

"It's just PR right, two months."

And with that she hung up on him and cried until Luhan got home.

--

"Ge, where have you been? I called you two hours ago?" Luhan calls as Li Chen, Bao's father, finally found himself in the two's apartment and placed himself infront of Ai-Huan's bedroom door, giving Luhan a worried glance.

"I was head hunting, Bao told me what happened." He lent his head against the door and closed his eyes. The news of Huannie being pregnant was circulating through those closest to the two, they couldn't imagine how panicked Huannie must be. Afterall Jinyoung and Huannie had only been together properly for a year.  Li Chen moved to put the radio to put on some kpop on spotify and pressed shuffle, adter he did so Luhan tried to knock on the door again. The door could be heard unlocking, until she heard the velvety voice that she wished not to hear so she hesitated exiting the room.  Luhan on the otherhand automatically scrambled to changed the song.

"I'm sorry baba, I didn't know." Li Chen apologised, bringing the broken girl into a hug as she cried into his chest.

"It's okay Pa." She mumbled, she closed her eyes trying to find some words.

"That bad, huh."

"Bad isn't the word i'd use to describe this." She slumped onto the sofa, running her hands through her hair, the two men could only be sympathetic.

"How did it end up like this?" Li Chen questioned handing her a glass of warm water.

"I'm still trying to figure it out myself, things were going well for us, it must have not worked because Jinyoung is in Korea having dates with another woman." She pointed to the laptop which had the news articles with the pictures of them kissing.

"Well that's him, I'm asking about you." Li Chen saw through the facade, taking a hold of her hand softly. "Other than the obvious, how are you feeling?"

"I guess I fell in love Pa, I'm scared that I can't do this parenting thing like everyone keeps telling me." She sighed.

"How far along are you? What did the doctor say?"

"I'm sixteen weeks, the vomiting and the backache is completely normal considering it's because there's a human the size of an avacado in my uterus you know. I'm just scared that people will think i'm weak for being scared of it."

"You're not weak, it's perfectly understandable. You're whole career is built up on being in the public eye, you're young it's normal to be scared Baba."  Li Chen denied.

"It is weak, I should be excited. But i'm scared i'll turn out like my own mother. I can't leave my members for nine months. I already feel like i'm not doing my part for them."

"We will get through this Baba, I can get rid of that scumbag if it makes you feel better?"

"No, he's still the father of my child at the end of the day."

[chey-fey-ma]

Some of the events I’m about to address will be extremely triggering for some people. Please proceed with caution. This has to deal with the protests and police brutality.

I was arrested.

I was arrested violently. I was pushed to the ground and arrested with my hands behind my back and guns pointed at my face. My boyfriend and good friend, both of whom are men of color were also pushed to the ground with guns in their faces and not a single right was read to us.

To emphasize my point, the three of us weren’t anywhere NEAR a protest. We had heard screaming and calls for help and sirens down the street and knowing that people we all loved and cared about could be in danger, we decided to suit up and brace ourselves to offer medical supplies and a place to stay for anyone that was hurt by the awful acts of brutality by police that we had been witnessing for the past couple nights. For the past year Brady Street had been my home. It was where I went to get a latte at Rochambo and tell jokes and draw pictures with friends and family alike. But last night, it was the most unfamiliar place I had ever been to.

As we were making our way back down the street to go into our house that was less than 15 feet away, we were ambushed by an all black cop car taking us from our left flank. We knew we were caught but we didn’t expect to be in trouble for being right outside our own home, the same home my boyfriend had for the past 5 years without a single problem. Four cops come out with guns in their hands and ready to shoot. It was in that instant I felt that my life was over. Everything I had dreamed or ever wanted was out of my reach. I would never perform on Broadway. I would never move back to NYC. I would never get married or raise a family with the man I love, even if I was to not get shot, he still could have and that dream would still be out the window in a blink of an eye. Without a second thought, a person— another HUMAN could decide that my dreams were unattainable and take my boyfriend away from me for the rest of my life; however long that could be since I have no clue how I could recover since he is my lifeline and has my soul.

In an instant our lives could be deemed worthless only because of a curfew that was haphazardly placed on a day to day basis; and for a moment, we were deemed as worthless. In total there were well over 50 police officers all in squad cars and even the SWAT team pulled up to the scene. All for three peaceful people trying to get home from making sure no one was hurt. As they saw me lay helpless on the ground, crying with fluid draining from my nose, they pulled out their cellphones and took pictures and recorded. “Oh this ones going to Ashley” I heard one say and talk about how they were going to send it to a family member or friend.

While I was thinking these moments could be the last time I ever saw my boyfriend alive, these cops patted themselves on the back for a job well done and circle jerked to a young woman crying thinking that she would never get to say goodbye to the man she loved or to her mother and brother.

After being arrested and our possessions taken forcefully from us, we were separated. My friend and boyfriend in one car and I in another. There I was paraded around the city as I cried not for myself but for the fear of losing my loved ones. Finally I was taken to a dark area under one of the freeway bridges were about 60 other police officers were standing around waiting for something to happen. After about an hour of doing nothing, I was finally put in the back of a high security bus all by myself and three armed cops driving the bus.

I opened my eyes and I was suddenly in a new place with people I have never seen before. All the people being detained looked at me and suddenly I felt a sense of comradery I had never experienced before. I was finally able to stop crying as I realized almost all the people held here looked like they were just trying to get home. One by one I listened to their stories and I realized this was the most disgusting act of power I had ever seen. I felt violated and like I was suddenly non human by the way we were being treated.

What I witnessed was illegal and breaches human decency on every level imaginable. There were two healthcare workers in scrubs being detained with me who were literally on their way home from their clinic that was 45 minutes away. They were arrested at about 9:45. Just from coming home from potentially saving lives. There was a new mother who just had a cesarean section only less than 2 weeks previously. There was an expecting mother with her arms tied behind her back who looked like she could pass out at any moment. The new mother actually did at one point pass out after throwing up and an ambulance was called about two hours later. TWO. HOURS. LATER.

Outside of the Milwaukee section 2 prison facility I was stored in there were military personal with loaded machine guns who kept staring at us like we were nothing more than vermin on our way to be exterminated. As if we were bred for the slaughter of their injustice.

I was taken in at about 10:45 with a lot of my colleagues taken in at around 9. One by one slowly they took us in the back to book us. I can not stress enough how unprofessional and how awful most of the cops were, with many of them admitting they had no idea what was going on or what they were doing. One cop taunted us asking if we learned our lesson. “Yeah” I said. “I’ve learned to never trust cops again and that all you guys are pigs” I muttered, a stance I hadn’t taken before this night. It really was all or nothing, and if I was going to be treated with no regard, why should I care for a second about a cop’s life. They clearly didn’t care about ours. Mine. My friends. My boyfriends. People I love and care about.

Slowly I watched my new friends disappear and finally taken to a holding cell for the information on them to be processed. I was going to be one of the last ones and the officers admitted they were taking a long time on purpose. I mean, they’re getting paid TAX DOLLARS to sit on their asses all day, so I suppose they were trying to milk out that few extra dollars by tormenting and traumatizing us.

For 14 hours I was never read my rights, never given anything to eat, never got to make a phone call, never told I had access to a lawyer, and only reluctantly given water because some of the people I was with threatened to sue. They told us because it was a temporary facility that it didn’t count as being normally arrested and so none of our rights were actually ours. Once again, everyone that was detained with me were ALL heading home. No exceptions. Some people were driving home when they had their tires blown out by police. One woman told me her boyfriend (who is black) was tased for stepping out of his car once his tires were blown up. It was only when she begged them not to shoot that they put down their weapons.

At about 7 hours in, I was exhausted and sweating profoundly and I started to cry from anger and once again wondering if my friends were safe. I kept saying that over and over again. That I just want to know if they are okay. One girl stood up and yelled at a cop asking if they cared that I was sobbing begging to make sure my boyfriend was alive. We were all met with shrugs and a woman officer (she was medium built and blonde with her colleague being another woman officer with dark brown hair with the last name of Sanchez) telling us that she didn’t care. The two woman officers just gossiped and looked at us with disgusting faces. Perhaps they were just doing their job. But that just speaks even more about what kind of job being a police officer really is. Apparently to do your job right you have to have no regard for human life and for the actual safe keeping of the city. As long as you get the arrest numbers, you’re golden to keep terrorizing marginalized communities and people.

There was one point in the night that I had a trans man and another non-binary individual (like me) being detained with the group. After he told them that he was trans, he was brought to the back to be berated and made sure that he REALLY was trans and not just trying to get attention. I don't know what happened to him behind those closed doors since I never saw him again, but I can't imagine it was anything short of horrific.

The rest of the night was a blur and I was labeled as a rioter and my possessions labeled as riot gear. This was my only offense. I had on a helmet and some padded protection on my body since if there WERE shots fired, I wanted to try to lessen the impact. The woman took out my piercings and my hair ties and Bobby pins. I was left only wearing my oversized Star Wars t-shirt and some athletic leggings. In a cruel act of irony, one of the officers pointed to my shirt and said “looks like we got another fan”. I just stared at him and he said “smile it's a good thing”. This was already 10 hours in. I grunted and spat back, “one would think, right”. I’ve never talked back to a police officer in my life, but I was tired, angry, upset, and in pain. I was fighting for the resistance. They were on the side of the Sith.

We were then placed in individual cells for holding. It was unsanitary and period blood filled the toilet I was given as well as urine from whoever was there before me. At this point I needed to pee and I told everyone to look away. They did as I, as safely as possible, hovered over the toilet seat to finish my business. I wasn’t given toilet paper or anything of the sort; instead I used my sock that had been on my foot this whole time. It was actually one of my boyfriend's nice fuzzy black socks. Male cops were able to walk in and out as they pleased and could see females trying to relieve themselves. It was the most dehumanizing experience I have ever had.

Finally I could hear freedom ringing in my ears as I was approached and told that I was free to go. I tried to thank the officer but I couldn’t find the words after being treated so horribly. I was given my stuff back in a large bag and then thrusted out into the sunlight after being held for again, 14 hours (need I remind you this was all for just a ticket too). My eyes began to tear up as I realized I had no idea where I was or how I was going to get home. I looked around, and since we were thrown out the back, I didn’t see a single person. I cried as I picked up my ALMOST dead phone and saw my boyfriend tried to call me several times. For the first time the entire night, I was extremely relieved to see that he was alive and well. I saw his messages saying he and our friend were alright and got out and the only way they were alright was all thanks to the neighbor who saw the WHOLE thing and recorded it too. He saved our lives. Full stop, HE is a hero. He was recording and on our side and trying to get us home safely. Our neighbor picked up my boyfriend and friend from section 4 where the men were held. For those who don’t know, it's right in a super dangerous neighborhood and we live on the East side.

Once I called my boyfriend he told me he was out front and I shakily told him that I thought I was on the side of the building but I would head that way. Finally I saw him and he saw me and it was as if we were the only two people on the planet. Yes, it is just like in the movies when you have someone really love and care about you. He first waved to me and I hung up the phone to make my way towards him. He started running and then finally we were in each other’s arms hugging on for dear life. He placed his hands on my head and looked me up and down while saying that he was sorry over and over and over again. But I wasn’t even a tiny bit angry with him, I was the most relieved and content I had ever been in my entire 21 years of living. After our tearfilled reunion, I got the names of some of the other people that were with me and I gave them my contact information as well.

I have a lot to say… A lot more to say about what I felt and what I still feel. The 700 dollar fine is almost nothing compared to the emotional trauma that I felt and went through. All for just being a decent human being and making sure people were alright from protests that were happening. We were arrested for caring and arrested for essentially the color of our skin. Well, not so much me, but it was the fact that I was with two males of color— the most gentle and kind males anyone could ever hope to encounter. I know it was this because I saw other white people walking around and they didn’t get arrested, just told to go home. My stance is now clear to me. There ARE no good cops. There never were. They hold up an institution of racism and fear. That same racism and fear that was so very real to me and not just a concept like you are likely to be reading about just now. Please know I am very angry and heartbroken, but we are safe and right now I’m just thanking my lucky stars that we weren’t slaughtered like George Floyd. It is a predicament that no one should have to experience and no one with a human heart should perpetuate.

[xoruffitup]

Burn This 7/14: Final Show Recap

Burn This is over and I’m a mess of feels. This play has gifted me with four solid months of incredible performances, late NYC nights with friends both new and old I will treasure forever, and short but beautiful moments of dreams coming true at stage door. The final performance was overwhelming, hysterical, and oh so bittersweet. 

First – A conclusive update about the letter book! After Adam didn’t come out to stage door on Friday or Saturday (understandable tbh because both nights had giant, rowdy crowds), the crowd was absolutely MASSIVE on Sunday after the last matinee. People were pushing, crowding, yelling Adam’s name and it was absolute madness. When Adam got down to me, the crowd was literally pushing in from every angle and there were about ten people reaching their Playbills out to him around my head, but I just started talking. Given the manic atmosphere I only had time to get out something like: “I’ve seen the show several times and had incredible dialogues about it. This is a collection of messages from people about what the show meant to them.” Adam literally could not stop moving or else the crowd would have caged him in, but he looked back at me, still listening, and when one of the security guys took the book Adam looked straight at me to acknowledge and thank me! Both he and the security guard assured me it would get to him. I didn’t get to explain it fully but I think he understood what it was and the book will speak for itself!

This is the cover I made for the collection:

You can see me hand over the white laminated book right at the beginning of this video, and Adam look back to say thank you. 

My friend next to me also took this video where he looks back at me for half a second :’D And gives a tiny smile! (in the middle of that pandemonium, poor bb) 

Let me quickly say a big THANK YOU to everyone who contributed. <3 After that insane crowd at stage door, those wholesome, thoughtful messages about his work in this play would be the perfect remedy. Thank you so much to all of you for taking the time to write out appreciation for everything he gives us. :’)

NOW, the show!

Okay so firstly, the downside: I was NOT impressed by the audience. A lot of people seemed to have seen the show before (not that I’m judging, clearly) but were laughing CONSTANTLY at everything Adam did. To the point where you couldn’t even hear his lines half the time, and the audience failed to grow appropriately somber in the moments when he falls apart. Not a very courteous audience at all.

But the cast!!!! There were some poignant moments when it really seemed to be their real emotions coming through, bleeding into the way they played certain scenes. During the infamous, always-entertaining exchange in Act 2 while Adam’s sitting on the couch in the robe asking “Who’s the apple and who’s the orange? You never had an apple tart glazed with orange marmalade?” I SWEAR there was a second where that grin was all him, having an absolute ball of a time. When he said “who’s the orange?” he literally kicked his feet up like an overexcited little kid and it was THE. PUREST.

Okay so in the interest of remembering as much as I can, I’ll go in order from the beginning!

First, a bit of textual analysis. Every time I see the play, I’m struck by how incongruous the first twenty minutes seem in comparison to the rest. I know that’s on purpose, because Pale’s entrance is very much supposed to shake up and tear into Anna’s world with pure chaos – turning everything on its head. But knowing everything that’s going to come after, all the lofty discussion in that first scene about myths and epic love tropes all seems terribly self-aware. It’s more than foreshadowing. It literally seems to be a self-narrating framing device for everything that’s about to follow after:

“The wives of the sailors out at sea. The women waiting for years and the men never coming back. What sustains them through loss? Through pain? I think they felt things in a more profound way.”

Robbie is never coming back, and Anna is searching for something inside herself – some feeling – in order to push through this mess of grief and frustration that she can’t make sense of even to herself. She has a shell around herself at the beginning, and nothing to break through it or guide her way; no direction.

“The Flying Dutchman – Senta throwing herself into the sea to save the Dutchman from perdition.” (I mean come on – In this story Senta literally “has this boyfriend hanging around” getting in the way of the epic love and this couldn’t be more meta if it tried.)

Knowing what’s to come, it’s striking that Anna doesn’t seem to realize she is the real subject of conversation here, not Burton’s lofty novel ideas. Even a mere ten minutes after she recounted the funeral where she swore she was expected to “throw herself over the casket” – she doesn’t seem to relate herself to the story about Senta hurling herself into a watery grave because of the love and loss of a man.

In some performances, I think Anna is closed off because she’s purposely trying to avoid such a fate for herself. After losing Robbie, she doesn’t want to “sacrifice herself” through deep connection to another person ever again – Not even to Robbie’s memory as she refuses to give in and confront her grief. And hence her resistance to starting a real relationship with Pale. In other performances, it seems that she’s genuinely blind to the walls she has put up around both herself and her own emotions. You can see the walls in her physical body language – How she always seems to be sitting in defensive, closed-off positions when Burton tries to get near her. (Contrast that with how she literally wraps herself around Pale while he’s crying on that same couch later.)

Anyway, I just find it incredibly cool that what at first seems to be snobby, “arty” (to take Pale’s word) aimless talk at the beginning is actually all the characters indirectly reflecting on everything that’s about to happen to them – to Anna, particularly. This same exact self-examination resumes in the first lines of Act 2, when Anna finishes reading Burton’s draft script.

“It’s so sad.” “I thought they were having fun.” “But beneath it all, they’re so lonely.”

There it is – The deceptively simple three lines that sum up the entire play and spell out the tragic beauty of Pale and Anna’s relationship.

OKAY I’ll stop with the analysis now. On to the details everyone cares about!

So when Adam charged out, holy shit his voice sounded SHOT. It took a good few minutes for his yelling to warm up enough for his voice to stop sounding completely hoarse. It clearly cracked a few times and I just wanted to brew him some tea. (A pot, of course, because a cup wouldn’t even be economical…)

But by around the time he got to my favorite, side-splitting monologue about imagining you’re a tree and you get made into toilet paper or money to get passed around or parchment for a restaurant or music paper for the Boss to write on… but either way you end up drifting down to get stuck in some Saudi Arabian oil tank propellers. (Bending down and spinning his arms like propellers and cue me absolutely falling apart each and every time.) …. His voice finally sounded fine by then! :D

I’ve forgotten to write this in previous posts, but in plays I always LOVE moments when the actors come right to the front of the stage and just stand there for a long moment, wordless and motionless, just staring out into the theatre without really seeing anything, lost in the gravity of their own emotion. Keri has a moment like this before Pale’s entrance (I think when she says, “I thought everything important to the future of dance was going to happen in this room.”) Adam has his moment while Anna is talking about Robbie’s dancing, how good he was and how Pale would have liked it. Adam just stares out into infinity for a long moment, while it demands physical effort from him in order to take in what Anna’s saying. He doesn’t smile while he says, “You saw him and say he was good. I never saw him and I know he was shit.” His long moment of stillness here – finally facing the audience in close proximity and unnerving silence (a striking moment after he spent the last fifteen minutes raging around the stage and often having his back to the audience) is when you can see the very beginning of him unraveling. This is when he starts to plateau – tumbling from his coked-up high into a dark, helpless pit that cleaves him clean through.

After bitching about his pants getting ruined and putting his leg up on the sofa to show Anna, he did the most RIDICULOUS twirl this time! After slowly lifting his leg over the table, never breaking eye contact with her once, he then did this slow, melodramatic twirl - complete with extended ballet fingers and everything. It was nothing short of glorious.

After he kneeled down and screamed, he rose completely shattered. I don’t think I’ve ever heard his voice so devastated with sobs and tears – to the point where you could barely understand him. “No, I don’t do this. This ain’t me” sounded like he was begging desperately, but had no idea what for. There are a lot of stunning things Adam does in this play, but rising and sinking and rising again through these completely polar opposite, all-consuming emotional states within the span of twenty minutes has to be the most incredible. He truly embodies the transformations with his entire body – The way he paces around aggressively then helplessly, the way he spends long, silent minutes simply rubbing at the same place on his chest in pain, the way he doubles over as the brunt of his grief settles upon him like a crushing physical weight. The way he channels his very physicality to embody menacing one moment, then vulnerable and helpless the next. It’s just nothing short of breathtaking and awe-inspiring.

Okay okay, after he drops the hilarious bomb out of nowhere: “You know you got no tits at all.” And when the exchange ends with “It makes a man want to look, see how much there is” – Afterwards he just looks over at her with this hilarious, seedy smirk that was GOLD. Almost like “so is this hapless seduction working????”

Watching the couch kissing scene was, again, like being seduced yourself. He just stares at her for such a long moment before finally leaning in for it. She knows what he’s thinking – she knows what he’s going to do, and she’s completely mesmerized by the intensity of his single-minded focus; even as his hand reaches out for that gentle, tentative brush along her hair. Making sure she really wants this before he slides into it.

And then…. God, the way he delivered the lines that are some of my favorites: “Let’s start the engines real slow here. Go halfway to the city, stop for something to eat. You’ll find there’s times I’m a real good listener.”

jsdfjadlj his voice is so soft and deep, while he’s looking at her so intently, almost communicating the words with his gaze alone. He speaks so slowly and purposefully. The words themselves might be flippant in the double entendre, but there’s a sincerity behind them that wraps itself around your heart completely. You can see it wrap itself around Anna, as she falls into him completely. Every single person in the audience would probably do the exact same.

When he leaves the next morning, it never fails to make the audience crack up how he just waltzes out the door with no great to-do as he calls “Alright people, I’m outta here!”

CLASSIC.

Act 2:

After Burton flips him onto the floor and keeps yelling at him, the way Pale just rolls away onto his side and goes “Good night” all mischievous and cutesy asldfjsadlkfj. And then “Good night, Bruce!” after Burton finally leaves.

Other honorable mentions from this scene:

Pale, from offstage: What the fuck do you know?! Larry: Hmm… what do I know? That’s one of those questions you don’t know whether to answer with hubris or humility.

“Who’s Bruce Lee?!”

After Anna and Larry left the room, Pale’s fighting with his coat was extra aggressive this time. He was basically windmilling his arms as he repeatedly yanked at the back of the jacket until finally flipping it up and off and over his head.

Okay okay so I know I already talked at the beginning about the robe scene but I swear this one was EXTRA delightful. He was just grinning and cheesing all over the place at his own cleverness with the “hat trick” joke. Looking SO pleased with himself and just infuriatingly adorable for a giant brickhouse of a man in a stupid purple kimono I mean wtf!!!!

Oh and right before that! When he brought Anna the cup of tea after sabotaging her phone call with Burton and then hiding his face behind the robe sleeve all coyly, he was extra sweet about it this time :3 After handing her the mug he kissed her twice on the forehead, then just stared for a second at her grumpy face before kissing her on the nose too. (!) Then he proceeds to do the cute thing where he tucks her hair behind her ear while asking, “You want some eggs?”

Even when Anna shuts him down, the way he went over to sit on the couch, picked up his tea, then gave these awkward looks to both Anna and Larry like “welp, guess we’re all sitting together now” was sO funny. How the man can deliver such comedic effect without saying a word is beyond me.

Then, Anna starts to blow up at him. When she delivers the final, most devastating blows of “I have nothing for you. I don’t like you, and I’m frightened of you” – I’ve taken to watching Adam as the blows land. He stands there completely still and his face barely moves, and yet there’s this unmistakable, silent devastation about him. The man’s been called the “King of micro expressions” for a damn good reason. This time, after several long moments of tense, pregnant silence – He just did this minute shake of his head as he looked right at Anna. Even for all her anger, he still doesn’t really believe that she means what she’s saying. But that tiny shake of his head spoke volumes. It was almost disapproving, almost pitying, maybe a touch frustrated. While in previous performances he often seemed to be completely crushed – all spark drained from him; There was this bare, subtle moment of disbelief and lingering defiance. Disbelief that Anna was really deluding herself so thoroughly. He is so sure in this scene – while he’s telling her she’s not really afraid of him, she’s only afraid of caring and feeling something – that she feels the exact same way he does. He’s sure their connection is on equal terms; just like he’s sure it’s the only honest, true thing in either of their lives. And in this performance, rather than being crushed by Anna denying it all, he seemed more upset on her account – That she wasn’t letting her walls down to let the truth in, as he already has.

That^ is Adam Driver’s talent, ladies and gentleman. I literally just wrote a whole paragraph about one barely-perceptible nod. Damn. Okay. Give me a second here to pick up the pieces of my feels.

Okay, so I have detail-level and meta-level thoughts on the final scene from yesterday. Detail-level first: Last night was the only time I’ve ever heard Adam deliver the “That was me and you up there” line softly and earnestly, rather than pitching it into a teasing joke with “me and youuuuu up there.” Instead, he kept the tone of the scene gentle and almost timid. I adore in this scene the way he asks her about her dance piece. How at first, he’s not there for himself or even for the idea of them together. He tells her how much he enjoyed the piece, and when he says that he knew it was Robbie – that he could see Robbie in it – there is no greater or more moving praise Anna could receive. Nothing could mean more to her in this moment.

This scene is so quietly gorgeous, and it was simply spellbinding yesterday in how the tone remained so tender all the way through. Throughout the entire scene, the two of them mirrored each other with absolute perfection. A large part of that is because you can tell these are two actors who’ve been playing off each other for months and developed such keen awareness of each other’s physicality and tiniest displays of body language. Even in the way they stand at opposite sides of the stage at first – It’s like they’re tied together by invisible threads. They face each other directly – neither turned away or trying to hide – and when one moves, the other seems to respond exactly the same way. It continues once they sit down together to burn the note. From the way they sit beside each other to watch it burn, to the way they slowly turn towards each other and draw together, they move in perfect harmony and symmetry. They are tuned into each other simply effortlessly and it’s so satisfying and beautiful to watch.

At a higher scene level: It’s so lovely how different this scene feels in comparison to their explosive earlier scenes. (One with sexual energy and another with an angry fight.) There’s this feeling of undeniable rightness and ahhfinallyrelief when they’re back together for this final scene. And as they talk about Robbie through Anna’s dance piece, everything feels different. It feels peaceful for the first time, even a touch reverent as they speak with a shared understanding of each other’s loss that no one else in the whole world could take part in. While earlier in the play, discussion of their shared feelings of loss led to negative acts of self-destruction, aggressive frustration, or self-denial; this time there is finally the feeling that these two can come together and create something positive out of the loss they’ve shared. Thanks to what Pale unlocked in her, Anna’s feelings of loss that were once so unbearable she could not even face the honest thought of it, now became the fuel for an act of creation she’s been striving for her whole life. And the fact that Pale made time to come see it; the fact that he appears in her apartment and can voice so precisely her same sentiments that went into the piece – It means they’ve finally reached a place together where their connection becomes a source of creation and positive beginnings.

Adam does such beautiful acting in this scene. “I don’t know what to do with myself here. I’m 36. I’ve got a wife, two kids…” He paused here, and when he spoke again his voice quavered with feeling that simply overflowed, “I ain’t never felt anything like this.”

One of my favorite images from the whole play is when they both silently sit together on the couch, watching the note burn away in the ashtray together.

(For the first time, I thought back to Act 1 when Pale cryptically answers Anna’s question about what he does with “I’m a roving fireman. I put out fires. Sometimes… just let it burn.” In this case, perhaps this fiery thing between them would be safer if it were put out. But they watch the flames dance and dwindle together, and the warmth and light slowly growing between them is something neither of them have the will to put out.)

And then, that touching, movingly desperate final moment. After “I don’t want this” / “I don’t want it too” – when Anna sinks into his arms and he hurriedly gathers every bit of her in his lap and in his arms that he can fit. He clutches her like she’s part of his very being, rocks her, and reaches up to smooth her hair back so he can kiss her head. His voice breaks again when he confesses, “I didn’t expect nothing like this.” Another moment of desperately holding each other, until Pale half-sobs in helpless apology, “I’m gonna cry all over your hair.”

Every single time, the way Adam says it delivers a swift, sweet blow straight through the heart. Honestly, I would do anything to relive that wrenching heartache again. <33

It’s been an incredible run. I miss the show already, but I couldn’t be happier with the moving, magnificent nights I spent in the Hudson Theatre. Thank you to Adam and the whole cast for touching so many of us every night with this beautiful play. :’’) It has been such a thrilling, joyful ride!

-Until Adam’s next play!!! :)

[johnnysnostril]

Lights Out

Chapter 6

Hazel’s P.O.V

I glanced down at my dress and watched the fabric soak up the liquid. Sapphire instantly searched for my face, as did woojae. I sighed as i looked back up at junwon. He had his hands in his pockets, looking off to the side and lightly bopping his head to the music. I glanced over at sapphire, whose attention was now on woojae. She was clearly upset. She waved her finger in his face and he grabbed her hand, lacing their fingers in a way that calmed her down almost completely. 

I stood up from the staircase and made a beeline for the bathroom. Pushing through the crowd of half drunk humans, I kept my composure as best as I could. I wanted to cry so badly.

As I slammed the bathroom door behind me, I closed my eyes.

Why would he be here with someone else?

Just as I was about to let out the water works, there was a bang at the door. I slightly jumped and yanked the door back. “What!” I shouted, expecting it to be junwon. It wasn't. It was some drunk fool, who pushed right past me and threw up all over the toilet. I groaned and stomped my way back towards the crowd of people. 

Pushing against everyone, i made my way towards Woojae. Grabbing his shoulder, I turned his body around to face me. “Why would you let him bring another girl here!” I shouted over the music. Woojae quickly shook his head and put his hands up. “We just happened to arrive at the same time, Hazel. I’ve been trying to get in touch with him to tell him about the accident. I had no idea he was even coming to this party.”

I looked over towards sapphire. “How did he even know there was a party in the first place, Sapphire?” 

She placed her hands on her hips and cocked her head to the side. “I didn’t personally invite him. He probably saw the invitation that I posted.” 

I rolled my eyes and bumped her shoulder as I walked past her.

Junwon’s P.O.V

This wasn’t really my style. Parties were just too loud for me. I was only here cause someone sent a stupid invitation to Jay. he saw the word mansion and said we must attend. To be honest, I was still tired from all the partying we did the other night. All I really wanted to do was get away from this girl and go to sleep in my own bed. Jay really wanted to spend some time together since this was his last day in the states. He wanted me to see what kind of lifestyle I would have back in Korea. Only he said it was going to be ten times worse with the partying. 

“Damn, there’s hella people here.” Jay laughed. “Perfect opportunity to spread the word about your music to gain more exposure. What do you think?” he asked. I nodded my head and glanced around the room. He was right, there was a ton of people here, but i--

“Hazel?!” I shouted as I spotted a familiar figure throughout the crowd. I pulled my arm back from the girl who was attached to me. “Hey!” she whined. I waved her off and wiggled my way through the people. “Hazel!” I yelled out for her. She kept walking. 

“Yo!” someone pulled at my jacket and I turned around. “Woojae? what are you doing here?” i laughed.

“What the hell are you doing, bro?” He shouted over the music. 

“What do you mean? I just seen Hazel, where is she going?” I shouted back.

“She going crazy. You really thought bringing another chick here wouldn’t set her off?”

I furrowed my brows. “Wait, who’s party is this?” i asked. 

He ignored my question.

“You know everyone’s been trying to get ahold of you, right?”

I pulled out my phone. Something I hadn't looked at in days, and he was right. I had tons of missed calls from unsaved numbers.

“The girls didn’t miss your show on purpose. They got into a car accident.”

I glanced up at him. “A what?!” my breathing went short and I turned my attention back to finding Hazel, leaving woojae standing there.

Hazel’s P.O.V

Walking into Sapphire’s room, I reached for my clothes that sat on the bed and started to change out of her dress. As i lifted my arms to put on my shirt, this stupid pain in my back started to pinch at me. I winced and shut my eyes, instantly crying. Not only from the pain but, because this idiot brought a freakin girl to my bestfriend’s stupid party. 

“Hazel.” Sapphire said as she entered the room. “Don’t take your anger out on me. I didn’t invite the man.” she said closing the door. I breathed a laugh and proceed to get dressed, wiping my eyes. “I don't care, Sapphire. I really don’t. I’m going home.” I said wiggling into my pants. 

“Yes, you do care and no you’re not going home. You don’t have a ride back.” she said snatching my shoes up. “You really think that’s going to stop me from leaving. I will leave this house barefoot.” 

As I made my way to the door, Sapphire put her hand over the handle. “Just stop.” she whined. “This wasn’t supposed to happen. We were supposed to be celebrating being alive.” 

I sighed. “Yay. we’re still breathing. Now, move.” Pushing her hand away from the knob, I snatched the door open and there stood junwon with his fist in the air, like he was going to knock.

I groaned and slammed the door in his face. Sapphire stood there quiet for a moment. As she placed my shoes back on the ground, she pulled me into a tight hug. I started crying again, as I hugged her back.

Everyone knew deep down, i had feelings for junwon. Even when i was with Bryan.

Everyone knew. Everyone!

“Hazel, i just wanna talk..” Junwon said through the door softly. I said nothing.

I just stood there, in sapphire’s arms and cried for what seemed like forever.

“You should just let him explain himself. I know you wanna punch him in the throat, but do that after.” she said giggling a little. I pulled back from her hug and pushed my hair back. 

This night was just terrible. 

“I don't even wanna see his face, sapp.” I mumbled. “I wouldn’t either.” she replied. “But, at least he’s here. Not down there, with that hoe.” Sapphire shrugged. “Use this opportunity.”

Seconds later, sapphire disappeared. It was just junwon and i now. 

I kept my distance, standing over by the entrance to the bathroom. As he started to approach me, I lifted my hand and shook my head slowly. 

“Just- don’t..” I furrowed my brows as my lip started to quiver. “Don’t..” 

Junwon parted his lips and sighed. I could tell he didn't know where to start.

“Did you really get into a car accident?” he mumbled, searching my body for marks.

I breathe a laugh and crossed my arms. I couldn't bring myself to say a word. I was just going to scream and I knew that wouldn’t be good for the situation. Did he really think I would lie about something like that?

“Why do you care?” I spat out. Junwon blinked a few times then shook his head. 

“Hazel, why wouldn’t I care? You’re.. my best fucking friend...” 

Best fucking friend?

I looked off to the side, pretending not to hear those words. 

“Are you okay?” he said walking over to me. He took my hand and I immediately snatched it away. “I’m fine. Just- get out of my way.” I mumbled as I walked past him. Slipping on my shoes, I tied the laces carefully. 

“Please stop acting like this.” Junwon was becoming frustrated and I really didn't care. I rolled my eyes and headed towards the door, but he stood in front of me.

 “I thought you ditched me, okay? I thought you just completely forgot about me and went to kick it with Bryan instead.” He confessed. 

Hearing his name just pissed me off even more. 

“Bryan was the idiot who hit us.” I yelled angrily, pushing past him.

I stomped out of Sapphire’s room and was soon in the mix of the wild hyenas.

Pushing them aside, I made my way to the front door and yanked it open, stepping out into the cold night. I squinted my eyes, looking down the dark road- having second thoughts about leaving.

Leaving the door wide open, I could hear the party getting louder. Girls were screaming and shouting at the presents of someone. I turned back, looking at a big circle of people and flashing lights. I rolled my eyes at the scene and started walking down the road.

an hour later

This was my sanctuary. This was the place that i would go everyday after my father passed away. This place has seen many tears of mine.

I sat down on the bench, hugging my arms to get away from the cold. I looked out towards the waterfall and sighed. 

“What is happening, dad? I don’t understand.”

The next day

“What the hell..” I groaned. As I opened my eyes, the waterfall came back into my sight. The sun was warm against my skin and the wind was slightly blowing. 

Sitting up, I yelped. My back was on fire and it felt like someone was stabbing me over and over again.

My body became stiff as i tried to lift myself off the bench.

How the hell did I fall asleep out here?

Approaching my front door, I stared at the handle. My mom was going to flip. I bet she was worried sick about me.

“Hello?..” I called out as I opened the door. It was quiet. The silence could actually kill. 

“Zoe?”

Nothing.

Walking over to the kitchen, I glanced at the oven clock. 

10:42am

I lifted my brows and opened the pantry for some medicine. I popped two advils in the mouth and grabbed some water than made my way upstairs.

Opening my door, I saw a small box on my bed. Flipping it over, I examined the square and tilted my head. “The heck is this?”

Ripping the box open, i slightly gasped. It was a new phone. I shook my head and picked it up, searching the box for a name.

Nothing.

“HAZEL?!” I heard Zoey’s voice call out for me.

I ran over to the ponywall with the new phone in my hand. “Did you do this?” I said looking down at her, showing the phone. She smiled and lifted her arms, which i could barely see. They were covered in shopping bags.

“What the hell?” 

“I damaged Woojae’s pockets, not mine.” she confessed. Zoey skipped up the stairs, leaving the front door open.

“I was gone for 14 hours and your first thought was to go shopping?” I said disappointed. She shook her head. “No!” she shouted. “Look, we went looking for you. Even tried to file a missing person report, but they said we had to wait for 24 hours just in case you showed up.” she started. “We looked all night for you, staying up until 4am.” Zoe made her way to her room and I followed behind her. “So, you gave up and decided to go shopping?” I repeated. She huffed. “Sapphire and I were worried sick, okay? Woojae thought it would be a good distraction for us.” she smiled as she tried to hug me. I pushed her arms away.

“Are you not understanding how fucked up this is?” I questioned.

“HAZE?!?!?” Sapphire’s voice rang in my ears.

I rolled my eyes and made my way downstairs, folding my arms across my chest. “Are you guys serious right now?” I said annoyed as I looked down at her shopping bags. Woojae entered the house quickly after her and set down more bags.

“I’m so happy to see you!” I winced as she threw her arms around me. “OUCH!” I screamed. Sapphire pulled back quickly and furrowed her brows. “What’s wrong?” she shouted. 

I paused for a minute.

“Your.. ring..” I lied. “It got stuck in my hair..” as the words left my mouth, I felt slightly out of breath from holding in the pain. She glanced down at her hand and lifted her brows. “I'm sorry..” 

Woojae cleared his throat.

“I see you like your present.” he said nodding towards the iPhone. “I didn’t know which color to get, but I heard that your favorite color is pink.” he laughed as he looked over at Sapphire. 

“This came from you?!” my eyes instantly got bigger. Woojae nodded. “I can’t accept this. Here.” I said handing him the phone back. Sapphire pushed my hand away. “Take it, Haze.” her expression was firm. “I don't want it.” I mumbled to her. “I didn’t ask if you wanted it. You need it.” 

I could tell Sapphire was upset. She picked up a few shopping bags and set it on the couch then approached Woojae, taking his hand.

“Woojae was nice enough to buy you a phone and you should use it. You clearly need some time to get yourself together, Hazel. You’ve been very weird and slightly rude for the past couple days and that's not you. When you find my bestfriend, call me.” Sapphire tugged at Woojae’s hand, signaling him that it was time to leave. He sighed and flashed a weak smile.

“I’m glad you’re okay, Hazel. Get some rest..”

As the door shut behind them, I stared at it. 

“She’s right, you know?” Zoey said from the balcony. “Woojae was actually really worried. He’s the one who made the report for us.” she mumbled.

“Who’s side are you on, Zoe?” I said quietly. 

“I’m not picking sides. You’re my sister and I love you, but Sapphire is right.” she said sighing and going into her room.

[auspicious-lilana]

Ultimate Spiderman (Peter Parker x Stark! OC x Sam alexander x Danny Rand)

Summary:When people hear 'Maya Stark' everyone would think about the perfect, smart. good looking, rich, student body president of Midtown High.Nobody but her childhood friend Peter Parker AKA Spider-Man and her new team of heroes. Ava, Sam, Danny, and Luke AKA  white tiger, Nova, Iron fist, and Power Man knows about her secret of being Queen's very own Mistress, soon to be ULTIMATE Mistress

Part 1  Part 2

This is it, the test to see if I can make it into the superhero big leagues.

“This exercise will gauge your efficiency against superior numbers. Disable all attackers. You have 60 seconds. FYI, Captain America did it in 10.”  I stood in a battle stance ready for whatever Fury would throw at me.

“Easy-peasy.”  One of the large robots that surrounded me started to attack as I dodged it and quickly shot a web to its head but another robot came and threw me on the ground as they all fell on top of me. “Uh! Uh!” I groaned as I squeezed myself out of the pile of robots. “This is more humiliating than Parker family game night.” I quickly got up and punched all the robots while webbing a few. After I threw another one of them grabbed me and held me up as I struggled to get out from its grip. How weak is this? I'm going to land on the superhero wall of shame for dying ten minutes after joining S.H.I.E.L.D. It started to shock me to which I yelled in pain before I grabbed four arms of it and quickly snapped it back to it making it let me go. The second I got down I ran as I dodged four drone-bots before I got ahold of one of them to see they were bombs that exploded making me hit back on the wall covered in slime as I slowly slid down. I got up quickly as I saw more big bots coming at me, so I tried to work the web shooter.

“Where did S. H. I. E. L. D. tech put the web control? Nope. Nuh-uh. Score.”  I threw a web at two drones and crashed it with two of the big ones. “Yeah!” One of the drone heads fell on me making me groan.

***

While Spider-Man was taking the test. Fury laughed a bit at the sight.

“I finished this thing under 20” iron fist said.

“I finished mines under 18” Luke chimed in.

“There's no discipline to his fighting technique, he's thrashing around hitting things. But Fury says he's good for the team.” White Tiger said as she watched Spider-Man get thrown around.

“His training may be off but he has more experience than the rest of you and his heart is in the right place” I imputed, defending my partner. “I’m just glad he agreed to do it”

“Why is Fury testing another new candidate? I didn't approve of this.” Nova said running up to us.

“So you didn’t approve of me?” I raised an eyebrow and fixed a glare at Nova who’s eyes widened.

“N-no! Your fighting was good, just not his!” I rolled my eyes.

“Look who thinks he's still in charge. That's so cute.” White tiger said to which I nodded my head in agreement.

“If Fury thinks I'm going to lead that lame-o in battle…”

“In your dreams, you're the team leader,”  Luke said placing a hand on Nova’s shoulder as Iron fist joined in.

“He is rough around the edges, but not without potential.”

“Yeah, but he named himself Spider-Man. How sad is that?” White Tiger said as I rolled my eyes. 

“Well, unlike you guys he had gotten his powers under pressure, and the fact he had nobody but me to tell his secret to”

“What was he supposed to call himself?” Iron fist said backing me up.

“Something cool that didn't scream, "Hi, I have low self-esteem and identify with bugs."

“You know what they say about a book and its cover, dude.”

“Dude, I'll clean this Helicarrier for a month if he makes it.”

“Toilets, too?”

“Toilets, too”

“Your on”

“I’m in” Luke chirped in taking Iron fist’s side.

“Me, too,” Nova said also high giving White Tiger. I sighed as I took White Tigers side knowing Spider-Man won’t pass without the right training and I don’t like being in the highest possible losers team and if Spidey does pass, I can just cast a few cleaning spells to help White Tiger out.

“I’m in as well I guess,” I said high fiving the boys, earning a smile from White Tiger. I checked the time and excused myself. “I gotta go. Work to be done, people to visit, someone to tease” the rest said their goodbyes as I walked off and teleported myself to a place near the hospital before I took off my mask making my cloak disappear showing I was wearing blue shorts and a white shoulderless blouse with my black hair down. I jogged from the alley to the hospital a few buildings away before stopping in front of the counter.

”How may I help-”

” I need to see Harry Osborn” I demanded out of breath.  The lady nodded and looked at the computer.

”Room 230 on floor 3” I thanked her before running up the stairs too impatient to wait on the elevator. when I peeked in the room I heard Peter.

“Hey, hero. I brought you something from school.”

“Cheerleaders?” Harry guessed making me chuckle.

“Homework” at the moment I came in.

“Hey Harry”

“I guess Maya’s close to an cheerleader” I rolled my eyes.

______________________________________________________________________________

Harry really stepped up yesterday when the Frightful Four attacked our school. Unfortunately, all that heroism won him overnight stay in the hospital.

Yikes. Wish I was there to help out

Me too,Maya, Me too

______________________________________________________________________________

“Peter has your best interests at heart, son. He's a true friend” Mr.Osborn said placing his hand on Peter’s shoulder.

______________________________________________________________________________

Wouldn’t it be nice to have a dad like that?

______________________________________________________________________________

“How about a ride to school, Peter? Maya?”  

“You don't have to hold a gun to my head, sir.”

“How about you, Maya?”  I shook my head.

“Sorry, my Dad’s coming to get me” like magic my phone rang showing my dad. “Matter of fact this is him now, bye Harry, Peter. See you at school tomorrow” I left the room answering the call.“Hey dad!”

“Hey, sweetpea. How was the S.H.I.E.L.D test?” 

 “I think I aced it. Tell you more in the car ride home I see you”

“Okay,”  I ended the call and got into the car.

 “So? Details?”

“So I finished the test under 14 seconds”

“That’s my girl”“And I met my future team”

“Did you guys show your identities?”

“No.not yet but I know they know Peter’s identity”

“You’ll learn their identity-“

“Oh I already did”

“You did?”

“Yeah, Fury enrolled them to Midtown high so I may or may not have looked through their files”

“I bet other dads don’t have a daughter like you to have bragging rights with” Dad mumbled.

______________________________________________________________________________

Meet my dad, Tony Stark aka Iron man. Since he has Stark Interpers I barely get to see him everyday but he tries his best to get some quality time together and he makes sure we eat breakfast together so we can catch up on what happened to us yesterday since he’s busy at night. Plus I get to hang out with the avengers daily so I call them uncles/aunts.

______________________________________________________________________________

“Dad!”

“It isn't my fault my daughter is beautiful, genius AND a future avenger! I got the full package!”  I sighed as I smiled and hugged dad. No matter how many times he would brag, I know he means well and loves me just as much as I do.

“I love you dad”

“I love you two my favorite daughter”

“I’m your only daughter”

“...don’t ruin the mood” I laughed as I snuggled close as we got home.

“We’re here,” Happy said from the driver’s seat. I nodded and thanked him as I got out with my school bag on my shoulder.

“I’m gonna go and do my homework real quick and check in with the vice student body president cause I’m sure Peter forgot to do it for me” Dad kissed my cheek before ruffling my hair.

“I’ll be in the lab if you need me. Capsicle  wants to see you in an hour for your training”

“Thanks, Dad,” I said as I kissed his cheek and went up to my room.

“How did I get lucky with her?...” I smiled as I heard my dad before I went into my room.

***

“Smile, Spider-Man,”  MJ said to peter flashing a camera at him making him lose his balance and fall as he started rambling nervously.

“Oh! Whoa, I'm not... How did…”

“Wow, nervous much? I'm practicing what I'll say when I finally meet Spider-Man maybe even Mistress. Here”  MJ handed him a paper he read. ‘Spider-Man and Mistress: I will tell your side of the story. Call me. Mary Jane Watson’

“You really believe those two hang out here in Midtown?”

“ They’ve been seen on campus often enough.they could be anybody. A student, a teacher, or…” Stan walked by pushing a cart full of mobs and such before turning to them.

“Thwip Thwip” And he left.

“Ok, well maybe not anybody,”

______________________________________________________________________________

I know how much it means for MJ to get that reporter job with the Bugle and I'd love to help her out. I'm afraid I'd blow it once I started talking to her. I mean, MJ knows me so well.Maya would help her much better seeing how she takes Drama and can act it out but I don’t think she’ll want to take that risk either....

______________________________________________________________________________

“Even if Spider-Man and Mistress are a student, They’re going to keep it on the down-low. There's no way They'd let anyone know who they really are”

“Maybe, but I'm not giving up. Also, Have you seen Maya?”

“No, not since yesterday. Maybe she’s in the council room?”

“Most likely, seeing how she wasn’t able to check in yesterday” Peter’s eyes widened. ‘I completely forgot about checking in for her! Maya must be extremely busy now! All cause of me’ Peter gloomed at the thought before smiling again.

“I’ll go check on her since we are walking home together”

“Make sure to get her something to eat on your way there, she hasn’t touched her lunch at all”

“Okay, bye” MJ left as Peter went off to get Maya so they can leave for S.H.I.E.L.D as promised.

***

“Sir, ma'am. Yo, what's up?”  Spider-Man said to every passing agent we saw making me sigh. I wasn’t going to come here with him but after he kept telling me I can get back to the paperwork later and I had to take a ‘break’ I eventually came around.

”Spidey, what are you doing?” I asked unamused.

“I'm just trying to blend in now that I'm an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“An agent? You're barely a newbie.” Fury pitches in making me smirk at the look of Spidey’s face as Fury scanned his eyes at an entrance.

“ID confirmed. S.H.I.E.L.D. Director, Nick Fury.”

The doors slid open revealing a testing room for gadgets I’m guessing as we went in.

“Get in here and don't touch anything.”

“Cool!” Spidey exclaimed looking around as I stood there watching him. “Awesome!” I looked over to see him looking at a guy flying with web wings before looking over to a guy climbing a wall with spider legs/claws. “Eh. It’s been done”   Spidey and I walked over to Fury who stood by a doctor

“Yo, Doc. Meet the new kid. Spider-Man, our resident tech genius. Dr. Curt Connors. And I know you’ve already met Mistress or Maya.” 

“Yes, we did, didn’t we?”  I nodded as I smiled. Spidey decided to make himself known and stuck out his hand.

“Always glad to meet a fellow genius” When Doc didn’t shake his head and Spidey saw Doc didn’t have a hand. “Awkward” Doc pulled up his sleeve and shook Spidey’s hand with both of his hands.

“A pleasure. I followed both yours and Mistress’s career closely, very impressive.”

______________________________________________________________________________

I like this guy

Of course you would Peter, of course you would.

______________________________________________________________________________

“Even before Director Fury approached you about joining us, I had my R&D team develop an array of Spider-Man and Mistress inspired weaponry.”  Spidey looked around confused.

“Then where’s-”

“It’s in another room. We like to have separate weaponry rooms for you two since we had a lot and Mistress had already seen hers, yesterday”  I nodded as Spidey nodded his making an ‘Oh’ face.

“What if we said no?”

“Not an option”  Fury replied sternly.

“Huh, that's funny, you're using our web-shooter out of camo mode.” Doc pointed out as he took Spidey’s wrist and placed it into camo mode.

“Oh, yeah. I had it in camo mode. But then I couldn't find it.” Doc and Fury just stared at Spidey unamused as I resisted the urge to facepalm.  “Joke. Don't you people ever smile” I’d be surprised if they ever did.

“Over here is something we think you'll find particularly interesting,”  Doc said as he leads Spidey to something covered.

“I reserve the right to be awestruck.” Before Spidey could touch it he was quickly hit with a metal whip. “Ow,” he groaned out as I cringed. Ouch.

“Hold it. Director Fury, I've never questioned your choices when it came to the others.” Coulson said.

“Others?” Spidey questioned. I was about to reply before I remembered, he doesn’t know about the others yet.

“But in this case, we're dealing with a complete wildcard. Daily Bugle Communications calls Spider-Man a threat to public safety.” Coulson continued.

“But I’m so cuddly,” Spidey said rubbing his head with his arms intertwined making me giggle a bit as his silliness.

“Spider-Man's my responsibility, Coulson. That's what he's here for. To learn responsibility.” Fury sternly replied.

“We’ll see” Coulson left just like that as Spidey quickly uncovered the thing and looked at it unimpressed.

“We call it the Spider-Cycle,” Doc said as Spidey looked back at him.

“Uh, yeah. Useless”

“Excuse me?” Doc said taken back.

“I mean it's cool and all, but why do I need a motorcycle? I can get anywhere by thwip-thwip.” Spidey said illustrating what he meant by ‘thwip-thwip’  

“ I calculate you can make it from 80th to 34th street in 3. 7 minutes while using up what I'm guessing is fairly expensive webbing and at maximum muscle stress.“

“Uh maybe” Spidey rubbed his muscle to stubborn to admit Doc was right to which I rolled my eyes at. Unlike him, I levitate my way so I have no need to waste strength nor use any expensive webbing.  

“The Spider-Cycle can make it minute-and-a-half. If you're not scared thwip-less to climb on” Fury added on knowing full well out competitive and ‘prideful’ Spidey is. It seemed to work cause Spidey glared at him.

“One side” and he climbed on….wait…...he never took driving lessons ...or have a permit…..this won’t end well…this is soo gonna get recorded. I placed my hand behind my back and muttered  a summoning chant spell and summoned my phone from my backpack back at my room (Yes we stopped by my room on our way here to drop off our stuff) “and the starter is…” Spidey touched somewhere starting the Spider-Cycle up and running as Spidey yelled and I laughed a bit as I placed a spell to make my phone follow his Spider-Cycle, recording.

“You should go and follow him” I nodded at Fury’s suggestion as I stifle my laughter as I levitated my way to catch up to him.

“Brakes, THE BRAKES!” I saw Spidey yell as agents quickly dodged him nearly. I flew a bit faster in an attempt to catch up to see him blast a hole. “NOT BRAKE!”

“Aaah! Not a problem. I'll just pop another parachute and” Spidey tried to do it to see he ran out of the web. “Okay, now I'm scared thwip-less Aaah!”  I stopped at the hole fully knowing I wouldn’t fly down so I cast a teleportation spell and got to a rooftop to see Spidey riding on the side of a building as I watched in amusement before he ended up in the streets screaming, that's when I got up and flew above him.

“ Kid, what's wrong with you? You act like you've never driven before.” Fury said as I giggled.

“That’s because he never did!” I yelled.

“I don’t even have my learner’s permit!”

“You what?”

“It’s new york! Who needs a car?!” Spidey said as he jumped over a school bus as I flew above. “OH COME ON” Spidey yelled as he went through a sign reading ‘road closed’ I sighed knowing I can’t keep this up, guess fun’s over. I picked up Spidey as I saw Luke pick up the bus the Spider-Cycle would’ve hit and White Tiger quickly hopped on the Cycle stopping it as Nova helped me carry Spidey. “Let me go, Buckethead!”

“Calm down preschool, we’ll take it from here.”  We let go of Spidey as I stood next to Nova as White tiger hopped off the cycle with Iron fist’s leg on the wheel and Luke next to him.

“We-” I coughed as Spidey rolled his eyes. “Okay I appreciate a hand now and then, but I really didn't need to be saved by-who're you guys?”

“Iron Fist, Nameste. Iron Fist. Kung fu master with a fist of well...iron.”

“White Tiger. Acrobatic ninja with steel claws and cat powers. And the big guy there is Lu-”

“Power-Man. If he calls himself Spider-Man then I'm calling myself Power Man. It's cool and doesn't scream ‘I have low self-esteem.’ Super strength and bulletproof skin.”

“Okay, Power-Man” White Tiger said rolling her eyes.

“And I already met Captain Buckethead over there,” Spidey pointed at Nova.

“Names Nova, creep”

“Nova creep, catchy”

“Nova, the human rocket.”

“Okay. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get this bike back to HQ. You see, I'm with S. H. I. E. L. D.”  Spidey bloated in smug, little did he know hehe.

“Small world,” Power-Man said with a smirk as Nova gave Spidey a smug grin.

***

“No, no, no, no, no. I never signed on to be part of a team.”   Spidey complained as the rest of the team and I stood behind Coulson who was trying to reason with Spidey.

“It’s not a team, its a program. If you just let me explain” Coulson said.

“No! Nix! Nein! Nyet! Na-uh! No way! Never!” Spidey stormed off in anger.

“We won the bet!” White tiger and I high fived. “No toilets for the Tiger and Sorceress, Whoo!” I smiled before I looked back at where Spidey left.

______________________________________________________________________________

He’ll come around. I know he well. Stubborn  is one thing he is really good at but I know he’ll realize being in a team instead of a Duo will help a lot learning about responsibility and make us stronger heros too

______________________________________________________________________________

I sensed danger somewhere as my eyes widened and gasped as  White Tiger must've noticed since she placed a hand on my shoulder.

“You good Mistress?”

“Danger.”

“What?”

“I sense danger somewhere.” White Tiger turned to the team who are now alert.

“You heard her, there is danger somewhere, let’s head out ASAP” I nodded as we all got out to see Thundra throw a large metal cap at Spidey as Power-Man quickly took action and kicked it away as White Tiger pounced on top of Spidey.

“What are you guys doing here? I had them on the run. “

“Except for the part you didn’t” White Tiger countered as she brought out her claws and cut off the anti-gravity pad that was on Spidey’s chest as soon Spidey fell on his butt while White Tiger landed safely. Klaw sent a sound wave a the two as Spidey dodged it and Tiger fell back. I quickly took action and sent a blast of fire at Klaw sending him flying back in pain.

***

“Okay, Nick. I'll join your junior "Glee" club. But I still operate Duo as Spider-Man and Mistress, It's our version of ‘Me Time’”

“Done” they shook hands before the web shooter shot a parachute falling on them.

“Awkward."

*** [Peter’s POV] ***

Finally, both school and Spidey lives are back to normal. I opened my locker and sighed happily as I smiled. Maya should be here any minute now since she probably finished all that council work she had to do and have that meeting with the new principal I heard about.

“Oh, Puny Parker. Locker knocker time” I sighed remembering my normal life...has Flash in it. Before Flash could push me in Someone pulled me away making Flash fall in my locker and lock himself in. “Ow” I looked up to see my   ‘savior’

“Wait, do I know you?” I saw three other kids behind the guy looking oddly familiar. “Any of you?”

“Say hello to your new classmates,” Said the blonde guy, “Danny Rand” now known as Danny.

“ Luke Cage,” Said the guy who ‘saved’ me.

“Sam Alexander,” said the Latino guy.

“Ava Ayala, think about it” That’s when a light bulb went off my head as I realized, these were my new team.

“Huh?” was all that came out, I was speechless, AND right where I thought everything would be back to normal!

“Oh, some idiot gave Fury the bright idea we needed ‘me time’ away from S. H. I. E. L. D,” Sam said hinting at Me sarcastically.

“ FYI, don't sweat the secret ID. Code of silence man”  Somehow Maya came in just in time.

“Hey Peter, seems you already met the new students huh?”

“Maya! Please tell me this is some sort of mistake!” I plead. Being the head president of the school, basically, like a vice-principal, she had to have control on who enrolls, right?

“I’m sorry Peter but my job is to welcome students not the opposite and besides I placed myself the job of giving them a tour here”

“Why do you have to be their tourist?”

“Cause one, I’m the head president of the school, and the second is Fury wants me to so they can grow accustomed here plus ‘get to know each other as civilians’” Sam smirked as he came closer.

“Well, how lucky we are to get such a cutie to tour us” Maya smirked as she cocked her hip.

“I don’t think you should be flirting with your teammate,” She said mockingly.

“Teammate?” Maya’s smirk widened as the rest’s eyes widened.

“Funny how you didn’t recognize me as I quick as Peter”

“W-Well it's just that you where a large cloak with a black mask so we couldn’t see you properly aside from half your face and your hands s-so-” Maya laughed a bit.

“Don’t sweat it. I’m cool with it besides the whole point of the mask and cloak was for nobody to get a slight hint about my identity.”

“Hey, this is great. Really, really great. I just got to go talk to a guy.” I said before running off to the principal's office leaving Maya with them.

“ I need an immediate transfer”

“Denied, Mr. Parker”

“But why?” The principal turned around and I saw...Coulson?!

“Because Fury wants you where he can keep his eye on you.”

“Coulson?!”

“Acting principal Coulson, Thwip-Thwip,” He said with a mocking grin. I went out gripping on my hair in frustration.

“ I said it before, I'll say it again. N-o. No, no, no-no, no, no.”  I said walking by my locker.

“Hello? Can somebody let me out? Please. Anyone?” I backed up and looked at my locker with a smirk.

“Okay, maybe yes”

[thecomicsnexus]

The Unmentionables

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES #14 MAY 1988 BY KEVIN EASTMAN AND ERIC TALBOT

SYNOPSIS (FROM TURTLEPEDIA)

Casey Jones is patrolling the sleepy streets of Northampton, Massachusetts looking for some crimes to prevent. Northampton is nothing like New York City, however, so the mighty Casey is occupying his spare time as a vigilante by narrating events as if he were Mike Hammer. Jones is a little homesick for the Big Apple, but he's also reminiscing about the good times he had in this town as a kid with his cousin Sid. As Casey walks familiar ground, he passes by Louie's Variety store and is stunned by what he sees... the brass cow that once served as a rooftop landmark for the business has been stolen! Jones is enraged and gets to work on the case right away.

As Casey interviews Louie for details, a local cop walks in and assures the shopkeeper that the theft was probably just a college prank and that the cow will show up soon. Casey gets angry about the police officer's blase attitude, which only angers the cop, who tells Jones to "Butt out—pronto!" Casey storms off, vowing to find the cow.

The following morning, we find April frantically getting ready for work and asking where Casey is. Just then Casey walks through the door, icicles hanging from his hat and chin. Jones moans that he's been out all night looking for "the great cow" and collapses. Fortunately it's nothing serious, and Casey tries to explain about the theft, but April is running late and hurries off to work.

Cut to the Blue Bonnet Diner, where April is waiting tables. As Ms. O'Neil is going through her stubs, she overhears two men plotting something about a cow. One of the men slaps the other and tells him that if he has any info he should leave it at the front desk of Hotel Northampton, room 213. April is suspicious and tries to remember where she heard about a cow earlier in the day when she sees the newspaper headlines—the top story is about the missing cow!

Back at the farm house, Casey is trying to get the disinterested Turtles to help him when April calls. O'Neil tells Jones about the conversation she overheard, but unfortunately the man who slapped his partner overhears April's phone conversation and becomes alarmed. Casey takes down the hotel information and slams the phone down in his excitement over having a lead. April is unhappy because she wanted to go along.

Casey gets to the hotel and tries to get the woman at the front desk to tell him who's in room 213, but all he manages to do is get thrown out of the joint. As Jones sits on the stoop outside wondering what to do next, April arrives. April thinks she can have better luck getting the information, and she goes inside. As Fate would have it, just as O'Neil gets into the lobby, the slapping man (whose name is Howard) walks through with another fellow. April overhears the two making plans. Apparently Howard works for the older Texan man and they're making elaborate plans for a graduation party.

Later that night, April, Casey and the turtles arrive at the parking lot of the Hotel Northampton. Casey has asked the turtles to search room 213, and while the guys aren't happy about doing it, they agree. Jones and O'Neil crash the posh graduation party inside.

The Turtles find a bunch of paperwork and photographs of the Texan, Howard and the Brass Cow—however, they also discover they're in room 215—the wrong place!

As April is prowling the party looking for clues, she's spotted by Howard. O'Neil darts out into the lobby, where she's accosted by three men, Mikal Smengie and his brothers Luka and Luka. Unfortunately April has stumbled into a rendezvous between the Smengie Brothers and the Texan... a ten million dollar meeting that they all want to keep secret. Howard gags April and tells the Brothers to take her with them. Howard also give Mikal a briefcase full of money and an address. The Texan complains about loose ends and Howard says that he'll take care of things.

Back in the hotel room, the turtles decide that this case is too complicated and the police need to be notified. As they head out, they see April being kidnapped. The guys scramble down to the parking lot, but they're too late to stop the van holding their friend from escaping. The Turtles pile into their truck and head off to chase the van.

Casey goes into a rest room inside the hotel to gather his thoughts. He sits on top of a toilet in an empty stall as two guys come in. Jones overhears the two talking about a "prize cow" at Norman Whitty's place on Route 116. After the men leave, Casey dashes out to the parking lot to get his truck so he can investigate... except the truck is gone! Undaunted, Casey hails a cab.

Meanwhile the Turtles have followed the van to an old garage in the woods. Inside are the three brothers carrying weapons, a bound April and a well wrapped cow. As April berates her captors and warns them that she has friends, the Turtles burst in and kick the shell outta the Smengies. Once the Brothers are tied to a post, the Turtles interrogate them. The men talk to one another in Slovakian, which angers Raph and he threatens them. Under duress, Mikal explains that the brass cow was stolen from his family by their other brother Louie before the revolution. They've returned to steal the brass cow back and to sell it to Mr. Cudworth, who collects antique cows. April finds the story dubious, as ten million dollars is involved. Raph gets even angrier and decides to bash the cow to bits. Mikal then panics and exclaims that the cow is solid gold, and that they had stolen it before the revolution so that the new dictator wouldn't be able to use its wealth. They now want to sell it and share the wealth with their people.

Leo is suspicious, but he wants to see how things will play out before calling the police. In particular, Leonardo is interested in the Texan's role in these events. Leo hatches a plan that will allow them to get the real story.

Back at the hotel, the Texan receives a phone call from Leonardo, who tells the rich man that the deal goes down tonight and that they want an additional 5 million dollars. This does not please the Texan but he gathers up his forces and heads out.

Meanwhile, Casey has arrived at Norman's place on Route 116 in the taxi. Casey is jubilant about finding the cow and heads into the barn with glee—only to discover that the cow inside is real! Just then, Norman shows up with a shotgun and yells at Casey to get away from his prize winning heifer. Jones fast talks his way out of things and piles back into the cab, ordering the very unhappy driver to take him back to the hotel.

Back at the Smengie garage, the Turtles are all decked out in trench coats and firearms, awaiting their meeting with the Texan. The men show up and the Turtles demand the money. Howard asks where the Smengie Brothers are and the Texan demands to see the cow. Mike unwraps the cow only to reveal that it's a fake! As tempers flare, the Smengies crash through the garage door in a flatbed truck, with the real "brass" cow chained to the bed. A short fire fight erupts between the Texan's men and the Turtles, but the millionaire and his henchmen take off to chase the Smengies. The turtles pile into their own truck and bolt out in hot pursuit.

As the Smengie's truck barrels down the road, they pass Casey's cab. Jones grabs the wheel of the car and spins it around. The driver is scared to death and Casey screams at him to "follow that cow!" The cab gains on the truck and Casey jumps out onto the hood of the taxi and leaps onto the cow. Jones causes Mikal to crash the vehicle into a ditch and shouts, "You pukes are under arrest!"

Just then the Texan shows up, and Howard yells, "Correction! You're all under arrest!" As the millionaire wonders what's going on, Howard explains that he's an undercover secret service agent. It turns out that the Texan (whose name isn't Cudworth, it's actually Emil Bruzeniak) is in the business of buying and selling stolen national treasures. Howard has been working for Bruzeniak for two years, waiting to build enough evidence to bust him. Howard calls in his backup and two helicopters appear. The turtles and April arrive on the scene. The turtles bail out of the truck as April drives up to see what's going on.

When April arrives, Howard wants to hear why she and Casey are involved in the case. Jones explains everything in long detail and Howard demands to talk to the four men who helped April escape. April tells the secret agent that her allies wish to remain anonymous and pleads that they all be let go, as everything turned out fine. The agent begrudgingly admits that Casey and April helped solve the case and agrees to forget about their friends' involvement, filing it under "unmentionables." Casey and April walk off arm in arm as the criminals are lead off in handcuffs.

The turtles have witnessed everything from the safety of the woods.

REVIEW

This may not feel like a TMNT story for the most part, but it has been kind of adapted into TV. Because the story is centered around Casey and April, the Turtles are once more, on the side of the story.

On the other hand, April and Casey have been on the side themselves as well since they left New York, so it is nice to explore these characters. And it’s only one issue, no one will be hurt.

I now appreciate (absent) Laird’s rounded style, but I cannot complain, as the art is stunningly good. It even feels a bit experimental at times. And there is something about Eastman drawing cities... I just love them. He makes cities look real and cartooney at the same time.

I give the issue a score of 7

[write-havoc]

This Is How I Disappear Ch. 32

Summary: A girl named Chuck finds herself in the exact place she doesn't want to be, living with violent men in a desolate nursing home. After her former gym teacher finds her, will he be the savior she was looking for?

Fandom: The Walking Dead AU

Pairing: Negan/Original Female Character

Status: Completed (story continues in The Flame Is Gone, The Fire Remains)

Contains: swearing, violence, sexual assault, blood, smut

Readers 18+ of age only

Masterlists in my bio

Chuck turns her head on the pillow to look at the clock. 10:14 am. She stretches her legs out and sits up to stretch her arms. She feels her stomach lurch and hurries to the bathroom to empty the contents of her stomach into the toilet. Because she hasn’t even eaten yet, it’s not much. She wipes her mouth and turns around to sit on the toilet relieve her full bladder.

“Baby, what are you doing to me?” she wonders out loud in frustration as she rubs her naked stomach.

As she walks by the large mirror over the sink to leave the room, she pauses. She looks at herself turned to the side in the mirror and examines her body. It does look different to her. Her breasts are larger and sporting some visible veins that were never there before. And her stomach is bigger. It could be confused for bloating if someone doesn’t know she is pregnant, but her stomach is still bigger.

She giggles and leaves the bathroom, grabbing Negan’s dirty shirt from yesterday and pulling it over her head. She looks out of the window for a moment, chewing on the dry toast that she made to settle her stomach, and decides that it is a nice day to read outside. The sun is shining bright in the sky and the weather looks perfect.

She takes a quick shower then heads out to Negan’s office to play with the cats for a little bit. Negan had brought up a bunch of cat toys for the animals and a couple more covered litter boxes, to Sam and Jose’s chagrin. It is their job to scoop the litter boxes at the beginning of their shifts to make sure Negan’s office stays as clean as possible. The kittens are getting bigger and Chuck loves to watch them run around Negan’s office chasing each other and playing. She and Negan even named all of them. Chuck named the momma cat Creamsicle. And the kittens are Larry, Curly, and Moe, courtesy of Negan.

The cats keep Chuck company as she sits on the couch in the office and knits more of her blanket. The dangling yarn grabs the cats’ attention for a little bit until they get bored of it in favor of wrestling with each other.

At lunchtime, Chuck makes herself a sandwich and eats it slowly, trying to make sure she keeps it down. After that, Chuck walks across the hall and picks out a navy blue flowy sundress and pairs it with the ankle strap heels Negan had mentioned the day before. Her long hair is pulled into the sleekest bun she can manage to finish off the look.

Chuck grabs a few books and heads to her picnic table outside to read. Her heels dig awkwardly into the gravel that surrounds the table as she situates herself on the bench. The sun is a little hotter than Chuck had thought, so she plans to move to her shadowy tree when it gets too uncomfortable for her. Someone else apparently was reading her mind, because a large shadow covers her from behind.

Chuck turns her head to see what it is and is greeted by Simon carrying a large parasol. She laughs at the sight. “What is this?” she asks with a huge smile on her face.

Simon twirls the parasol a little and wedges it in a gap in the slats on the picnic table, casting the table, and Chuck in shadow. “I saw you out here and remembered seeing this thing in the warehouse. Thought you might need it.”

“I do!” she says appreciatively. “I was just thinking about moving to my shady tree around back.”

His face falls a little. “Well, now you can stay here instead. You know, stay out front.”

She gives him a soft smile. She figures that the mention of the back reminded him about when she was attacked. Which is still a sore spot for him. He feels guilty about not stopping the it. “Yeah. Of course,” she tries to say in a casual tone, hoping whatever bad things he is thinking about would leave his mind and assuring him that she is really alright.

He sits down across from her. “What are you reading today?”

“I, robot.”

“Like the movie?”

She laughs. “Yeah. The movie was based on this. But it’s different. The book is just a bunch of short stories about robots.”

He gives her a goofy smile. “Robots are pretty cool.”

“They are cool,” she agrees playfully. “You think there are still people out there working on that kinda stuff?”

Simon ponders it while he scratches his cheek. “I don’t know. Probably somewhere. Somewhere where the dead aren’t a problem.”

“You think places like that exist?”

“Well,” he rests his elbows on the table. “There are remote islands. And villages on mountains and shit.”

“Hmm. Yeah. You’re right.”

He shrugs and gets up. He takes his knife out and starts to carve into the table right underneath the parasol pole.

Chuck reads aloud what he wrote. “Do not touch. Property of Simon.” She giggles.

“There,” he puts his knife away. “Now you’ll always have a place to read outside. And you won’t have to worry about burning that lily white skin of yours.”

She giggles again. “Thank you. And my skin thanks you. I don’t need anymore freckles.”

“I wouldn’t say that. They’re cute.” He looks at her for a few moments. Then his smile fades. He drops his head then brings it back up, this time with a fake smile on his face. “I better get going. See ya later, kiddo.”

“Yeah bye, Simon.”

When he is out of sight, Chuck lets out a sigh.

  Poor Simon. What can I do to make this better for him?

 Chuck knows Simon’s still trying to deal with her pregnancy. Whenever he talks to her, he doesn’t really mention it. Like he’s trying not to think about it. And Chuck doesn’t bring it up, afraid that it would hurt him.

She reads for a while longer until her stomach starts to grumble. She grabs her books and gets up from the table. After a few steps, the gravel pulls her heel awkwardly which causes her to lose her footing. She goes down on her hands and knees in the gravel, not especially hard, but hard enough to make her hiss out in pain.

She picks herself up and brushes the dirt from her hands and knees. She notices some blood dripping from a cut on her knee and running down her leg.

A sigh leaves her lips as she looks the wound over. “Great.” It isn’t a huge cut, but it still needs to be cleaned and covered. She gathers up her books from the ground and enters the building, headed for the infirmary.

 ——— Negan’s POV ———

We pull through the gates to The Sanctuary and everyone gets out of the fuckin’ trucks. I walk back to the truck that Harlan is in and gesture for him to follow me. I see Simon come out of the building, so I walk the fuck over to him with a huge fuckin’ smile on my face.

Simon looks at the man beside me and then to me. “Everything went well, I assume.”

“Yes indeedy it did go fuckin’ well. And I think we are well on our way to a beautiful fuckin’ friendship with those Hill-folk. Anything happen around here while I was out?”

“Nope. Pretty typical day.”

“Good good.” I scratch my beard. “Harlan, this here is my right hand man Simon. And Simon, this here is Hilltop’s Dr. Harlan Carson.”

“Carson?” Simon asks with scrunched up eyebrows.

Harlan holds his hand out and shakes Simon’s hand. “Pleasure to meet you.”

“Yup. He’s a Carson. He just so happens to be our Dr. Carson’s kid fuckin’ brother.”

Simon laughs. “No shit?”

“And he also happens to be a fuckin’ obgyn.”

Simon looks confused. “O-B-G what?”

Harlan answers. “Doctor of obstetrics and gynecology. Obgyn.”

I butt in. “He delivers babies.”

Simon looks at me with wide eyes. “Oh.”

“Welp. Let’s get to the fuckin’ infirmary to get this little family reunion on the road.”

Me and Harlan continue into the building while Simon stays outside to help with the trucks. We walk through and I start to talk about the place. Really talk it up so Harlan will see how fuckin’ awesome it is here. Just up ahead, I see a figure enter my hallway from another one. I see her look around and then turn to me.

Everything drops away from me as I look at her. The only thing I can see is blood. Blood running down the inside of Chuck’s leg.

I think she says something, but I don’t fuckin’ hear it as I run to her.

“No! No no no. Not this!”

I scoop her up in my arms and run her to the infirmary. I can still hear her voice, but I don’t know what the fuck she’s saying. I hear my voice, too, coming out of me like it is someone else’s.

“Fuck, no! Not again!”

I kick the door open and set her in the bed.

“It’s fuckin’ dying! She’s losing the baby!”

Everything around me is a fuckin’ blur. I’m breathing so hard that I think my fuckin’ lungs would burst. My vision starts to tunnel. All of my fuckin’ muscles are tensed and shaking.

The doc isn’t doing fuckin’ anything! Why the fuck isn’t he doing anything!?

Chuck stands up from the bed. I try to push her back down. She needs attention!

“SHE’S HAVING A FUCKING MISCARRIAGE! DO SOMETHING!”

Chuck grabs ahold of my face and shakes me. She is fuckin’ yelling at me, but all I hear is buzzing. What is she fucking yelling?!

———   ———

 “Negan, calm down! I’m fine! The baby’s fine!” Chuck stands from the bed, but Negan pushes her back down onto it. “Negan, stop! Calm down!”

Negan looks around wildly before he screams, “SHE’S HAVING A FUCKING MISCARRIAGE! DO SOMETHING!”

Chuck stands and grabs ahold of his face. “I’m fine! Listen to me! The baby’s fine!”

He tries to push her back to the bed again, but she slaps him across the face, stopping him.

“NEGAN, STOP!” she screams.

He brings his hand up to his face and looks at Chuck. The jolt seems to snap him out of it.

“I cut my knee! I’m not miscarrying!”

He looks down to her knee, then back up to her face. He drops his hand from his cheek and turns his head to face Carson and the new man that had followed him in the room. “Give her an ultrasound. Now,” he growls. Negan pushes Chuck to lay down on the bed and starts to pull her skirt up to expose her belly.

“Negan!” She slaps his hands away. “There’s someone else in the room.” She nods her head toward the newcomer.

Carson lifts his head from the ultrasound machine that he is pulling closer to the bed. “It’s okay, Charlotte. This is my brother. He’s a doctor, too.”

Chuck looks from Carson to the other man.

“I’m Dr. Harlan Carson. I’m an obgyn and... I assume you’re pregnant.” He holds out his hand and Chuck shakes it meekly.

“Uh, yeah.” She looks back to Negan, who is still out of breath and then back to the other Dr. Carson. “Y-You’re Dr. Carson’s brother?” she asks confused.

Negan lets out a growl beside her.

Harlan looks to Negan and then pats Chuck’s shoulder. “Why don’t we check you out first and then we can chat later.”

“Uh... Oh, okay.” She knows Negan is still agitated and being impatient. “I just tripped outside and scraped my knee. I didn’t hit my stomach or anything. I didn’t even fall that hard, really. I just happened to land on a sharp rock,” she explains, hoping to calm everyone down.

Negan helps her pull her dress all the way up to her chest and Carson covers her legs with a blanket.

“How far along are you?” Harlan asks casually as he squirts the gel on the wand and starts to spread it on her stomach.

“Ten weeks,” she answers.

Negan grabs Chuck’s hand and squeezes it tight as Harlan turns the machine on and starts to move the wand over her stomach. All eyes are on the screen as the picture emerges.

“And there’s baby,” Harlan announces as he points to the baby on the screen with his free hand. He pushes a button and the heartbeat echoes through the room. He listens to it for a few moments before he pushes the button again, turning the speaker off, and looks at the screen. “Everything looks good. You have a perfectly healthy and normal baby at ten weeks.” He smiles down at Chuck and she smiles back.

Chuck turns to smile at Negan, but he looks completely stoic, still breathing heavily.

Negan leans forward and wraps his hand around the wand, taking it from Harlan and says, “Get the fuck out,” to the doctors.

Harlan looks confused and turns to his brother. Carson immediately ushers Harlan out of the room without a word.

When the door closes, Negan turns to Chuck. “Do it,” he says with no emotion.

“What?” she asks, confused.

“Do it.” He wiggles the wand in his hand. “Get the fuckin’ picture back up.” He points to the screen with his other hand as he stares at it.

Chuck takes the wand from him and begins to move it back over her stomach. It takes a few moments for her to get the picture back up, but she does.

Negan leans over to push the button Harlan had pressed to turn the speaker back on. The heartbeat fills the room once more and the pair look to the screen. After staring at their baby for several minutes, Chuck turns her head to Negan. His eyes are still glued to the screen and tears are streaming down his face.

“Oh, Negan,” she chokes out as her own tears begin to spill out of her eyes. She moves the wand off of her stomach to hug Negan, but he stops her.

“No,” he chokes out quietly. “Please.” He never moves his eyes from the screen.

“Okay, Negan.” Chuck lays back down and gets the baby back on the screen.

After a few moments, Negan starts to speak. “Lucille got pregnant twice.” His eyes are still on the screen, never straying. “Neither of my babies made it to the second trimester. The first one died at six fuckin’ weeks. We never even got to the fuckin’ ultrasound. We were married a year. It wasn’t a fuckin’ planned pregnancy, but we were so goddamn happy when the test was positive.” He wipes his hand down his face to rid it of his tears. “After that, she got cancer, so we couldn’t... Not with the fuckin’ chemo. When she went into remission, they said she might not be able to get pregnant. But we fuckin’ tried anyway. For fuckin’ years. And it finally happened.” He lets out a heavy breath. “Ten weeks.” His voice cracks as he says it. “A week after our first ultrasound. I got to see my baby once. Then we lost it.” He shakes his head. “The doctors told us it probably wouldn’t fuckin’ happen again after that. It didn’t.” He finally looks down at her.

“I’m so sorry, Negan,” she chokes out. Her heart breaks for Negan and Lucille at what they went through.

He gets up and takes the wand from her, setting it in its place and then wheeling the machine back to the wall. He grabs a towel and moves back to wipe the gel off of Chuck.

“Did I hurt you?” he asks as he runs the towel over her stomach.

“No.”

“Did I scare you?”

“A little. But I understand.”

He nods sadly and pulls her dress back down her legs. She jumps up and throws her arms around his shoulders in a hug. He wraps his own arms around her waist and squeezes her to him.

She runs her fingers through his hair as he nuzzles into her neck. “It’s okay, Negan. It’s okay to be scared.”

They cling to each other for a few minutes before Negan pulls back.

“Shit. You still need your knee fuckin’ patched up.” He opens the door and calls out into the hall, “Come on, docs. Get the fuck in here.”

Chuck sits down on the bed and waits for the doctors to come back in. Carson wastes no time in looking at her knee.

“So you guys are really brothers?” she asks.

“Yes,” Carson answers with a smile as he works on the cut on her knee.

“So what should I call you guys? You’re both Dr. Carson.”

Harlan answers. “He’s your doctor, so he can be Dr. Carson. Just call me Harlan.”

When Carson finishes up, Negan tells Chuck to go upstairs. He then directs Harlan to follow him as he goes to the second floor meeting room.

 ——— Negan’s POV ———

I sit at the head of the table and set Lucille down in front of me. I fuckin’ dropped her in the hall when I went running to Chuck. Fuck. That’s the first fuckin’ time that’s happened. Fat Joey picked her up for me and waited for me to leave the infirmary, so he could fuckin’ give her back to me.

I gesture to my left for Harlan to take his fuckin’ seat.

“Well, Doctor Harlan Carson,” I say as I rest my elbows on the table. “I’m not gonna fuckin’ lie to you. I want you to stay here. I know you haven’t gotten the fuckin’ ten cent tour of my place, but I can assure you that you will be safe here. Well fed. Respected.”

Harlan squirms in his seat. Shit. He’s not gonna fuckin’ stay.

“I’m not saying you have to make your decision right fuckin’ now. You can take a few days. Hang out with your big bro. Get a fuckin’ feel for the place. And if you wanna stay, I will welcome you with open fuckin’ arms.” I scratch my beard. “And if you want to leave, well, we’ll get you back home safe and fuckin’ sound. I guarantee it.”

Harlan looks at me a bit nervously. “That’s very generous, Negan. But Hilltop is my home. And I have patients there I can’t leave.”

I try not to get fuckin’ angry. All I want to do is fuckin’ demand that he stay. But I’m trying to do this shit differently. “I’m a little fuckin’ disappointed, doc. But it is your choice.”

He nods. “That’s your first child, right? First time dads can be a little overprotective, so I get why you’d want me here full time to take care of baby and mother.”

Fuck. I didn’t want him to know Chuck was pregnant with my kid. I was gonna talk to her first about seeing him. Fuckin’ tell her not to say the kid was mine. But I fucked that up when I freaked the fuck out in front of him. Now another goddamn group will know about my weakness.

“Look, Harlan.” I let out a sigh. “I have enemies. Being a fuckin’ leader of a group will do that. Her being pregnant... It can be dangerous for her if the fuckin’ wrong people found out.” I let out a heavy breath. “If anyone hurt her to try to get to me, nothing would stop me from getting my fuckin’ vengeance on everyone involved. Nothing.” I glare at him. He better fuckin’ get what I’m telling him.

Harlan gulps. “I know the world has changed, but I still operate the same way I always have. Doctor/patient confidentiality still stands with me. And I would never put one of my patients in danger. I won’t tell anyone about her or the baby. You have my word.”

I study his face. He isn’t fuckin’ lying. “Good.”

“I can come back every few weeks to check up on her, if you like. And I’m sure my brother can tend to her without me, even though he’s not a licensed obgyn. You don’t have anything to worry about.”

“Yeah... Carson’s delivered a few fuckin’ babies over his time here.” I rub my hand down my face. I’m trying to calm my-fuckin’-self down with that. “We have another pregnant woman here, too. She’s further along than Chuck. You can fuckin’ check her out, too, while you’re here.”

I raise my radio to my fuckin’ mouth. “Dwight. Get the fuck to the meeting room.”

“I’m close by, sir. I’ll be there in a minute.”

Dwight walks in a couple minutes later.

“Our guest here will be staying a few days. Find him a room and escort him down to the infirmary.”

“Yes, sir.”

I turn to Harlan. “Get big bro to give you the lay of the land.”

They fuckin’ leave and I head up to my room.

———   ———

 As soon as Chuck gets upstairs, she goes to her room to change out of her dress and heels in favor for an oversized T-shirt and sleep shorts. She puts on the pair of fuzzy slippers that Negan had brought up for her and goes back into Negan’s apartment. She bums around for a bit before she decides to start dinner.

She settles on spaghetti because they have some of Negan’s sauce still leftover in the refrigerator and it is a quick meal. She isn’t sure when Negan is going to come back up, but she is too hungry to wait much longer. It doesn’t take too long for the food to cook and just as she sits down with her plate, Negan comes in.

“Perfect timing,” Chuck calls out. “I just finished up with dinner.”

“Thank fuck. I’m starving.” Negan gives her a kiss on the forehead before he goes into his room.  He comes back out, without Lucille and his jacket and grabs a plate.

“It’s crazy that you ran across Dr. Carson’s brother,” Chuck says with a chuckle. “What are the odds?” She figures that bringing up the other thing that happened today isn’t a good idea. If Negan wants to talk about it, he’ll bring it up himself.

“Pretty fuckin’ good, apparently.” He grabs a plate and fills it with the food still sitting on the stove. Then, he sits down at the table.

“Where did you find him?” Chuck doesn’t know much about where Negan went today. All he said was that he was helping out a community.

He lets out a tense breath. “He’s the doc for a fuckin’ place called Hilltop.”

“Oh. Is it big? The settlement?”

He takes a bite. “Not really. They’re a bunch of fuckin’ farmers.”

“Oh, wow! That’s great. I mean, this world needs farmers.” She takes a bite of her own.

“Yeah. We’re gonna be getting shit from them from now on. Produce and shit. Stuff we don’t fuckin’ have here.”

“Like what?”

He smirks at her. “I want to fuckin’ surprise you.” He takes a bite and chews it with a big smile on his face.

She giggles. “Okay.” She takes another bite. “What are you helping them out with?”

His smile drops and he looks away. “No, baby girl.”

“What? What is it?”

He shakes his head. “There’s ugly fuckin’ shit out there.”

“I know, Negan. You don’t have to hide that stuff from me.”

He lets out a sigh and looks up to her. “These Hilltop people aren’t fighters. They don’t even have fuckin’ guns. And another group has been attacking their scavengers and scouts. Killed a bunch of them.”

“Oh, no,” she whispers.

Negan lets out an even bigger sigh. “Some of the scavengers were women. And they weren’t killed. They were fuckin’ taken.”

Chuck feels a chill go through her body. “Taken?”

“Yeah.” He runs his hand down his jaw. “We’re gonna find them. Get those women home fuckin’ safe and sound.”

She looks down and nods. “That’s good.” She feels so bad for those women, knowing what they must be going through.

“Baby girl, just finish your dinner, please.”

She nods again and takes a bite.

“I’m gonna try to get Harlan to fuckin’ stay for you.”

“Does the Hilltop have another doctor?”

He gives her a look. “No.”

“Then I don’t want him to stay.”

“Come on, baby girl. He’s a baby doctor and you have a fuckin’ baby in you.”

“Are there pregnant women at this Hilltop place?”

He doesn’t answer her, but takes a bite instead.

“Is that a ‘yes’?”

He lets out a huff. “There’s at least one pregnant lady.”

“Then he needs to be there.”

Negan lets out a huff and pushes his empty plate aside. “No matter fuckin’ what, he’s checking up on you fuckin’ often. Amber, too.”

“Then there’s no problem.” She gives him a warm look, but receives a nervous one in return. “I understand you’re nervous about... complications. But we have Carson here. And Kayla. And Harlan can travel here if we need him. How far away is Hilltop?”

“Too far.”

She looks down, unsure if she can say anything to assuage his fears. “I’m fine, Negan. Everything will be okay-“

She is interrupted by Negan’s radio going off.

“Sir, we got word from the team following the barbarians. They followed them to some farmhouse they use as their base.”

Negan stands up and points to Chuck’s plate. “Finish eating.” He walks into the office and starts to bark orders into the radio.

Chuck takes his order to mean “Don’t come into the office,” so she doesn’t. She just finishes up with her dinner and leaves Negan to his official business.

[thecrotchhand]

health class >:(

-ug

-did somebody say rick of suicide

-”ooh, there’s a laser!” -student teacher

-good ways to manage stress- “punching a hole through the wall”

-”do you have a long-term goal?” “dying”

-”we should deport justin bieber back to canada”

-”if you say you're gonna do something, then do it" "i'm gonna kill myself ;))"

-"i'm busy singing Africa by Toto" *off-key singing continues*

-"when you lose weight, where does it go?" "it goes to weight heaven"

-the guy next to me started playing Africa quietly from his phone

-"i'm talking to bowl cut. just kidding chris. i love you." "...i'm getting a haircut."

-"you don't lift to get swole" -st

-"that sounds not good for you" "i'm gonna try it"

-"during pregnancy, the women in here are gonna need more folate, iron, and calcium" "no, i'm gonna need a coathanger"

-"liar liar pants for hire"

-"is eustress good stress or bad stress?" (long silence) "it's good stress! yay!" -st

-good ways to relax- "11 hours straight of anime"

-"everything's gonna be ok" lmao good joke

-"precipitation... wait i mean perspiration. it still counts, it's raining from your body."

-ways to manage depression- "kill yourself :D"

-help the teacher (flynn) has been yelling at us for the past five minutes

-uh oh she said damn it's gettin' wild

-she went back into her office after and all of a sudden we hear a quiet "oh, happy Wednesday"

-"is it possible to have an abortion 700 weeks late?"

-"what's the r-word we talked about?" "rawr XD"

-"what does autonomy mean?" "it's like grey's anatomy but for cars"

-alcoholism is a good sims trait

-guy: sneezes

guy's friend: "god bless... america"

-”what do you say to your sibling during an argument?” "you should've been aborted" “no”

- "your personality might be kind of boring" "like a potato!" "yeah"

-"what does down to earth mean?" "it means you're like the lorax, you speak for the trees"

-"he was happy?" "yeah! put him working with me and larson for ten years and... we fixed him!"

-the student teacher generally has a habit of sarcastic yaying and it entertains me

-"jason (chris) move your head" "just throw a rock at it, it'll move"

-someone was trying to come up with weird phobias and someone suggested genital herpes

-"sir you've been diagnose with hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia " "aahHH"

-"if someone comes up to you and says a mean word, you're gonna be upset" "hey sam" "what" "fuck"

-"i found a big circle"

-"*cough* flynn"

flynn, out of nowhere: "i heard that"

-"have you guys seen cabin in the woods?" "wait, the one with the cabin in the woods?"

-:(

-"let's say you don't have a gun" "pft, not in america"

-we were talking about miscarriage and cody goes "fetus... deletus"

-examples of anger- "when mcdonald's doesn't have ice cream"

-video from the 80's: "depression isn't talked about"

-a seal saved this guy's life and he just: 'ah yes it was all because of god' ¿¿¿???

-80's commercials are the weirdest shit

-yepperdoodles

-"...gonna get addicted to xanax"

-"you guys all did a really good job on your tests" "i got a C" "i got a D+" "yeah there wasn't a single person i was not happy with"

-"you say you see really good scores, but what i'm seeing is a D"

-examples of compromise- "i got a D+, but i feel i deserved an A, so let's meet in the middle with a C" "but what do i get out of it?" "if he passes the class, you don't have to see him anymore"

-"oh no my one feeling"

-"what are some ways to resolve conflict?" "killing yourself"

-"put away the candy this is health class"

-(talking about conflict) "...then the fire nation attacked"

-(softly) "yo what the heck dawg"

-"if they started a rumor-" "kill them"

-"when i was-" "a young boy"

-"you got two more weeks with the student teacher, then you get me back" *high pitched screaming*

-"they never broke out, and then one of them broke out"

-"wrestling uniforms are skimpy"

-(across the room) "hey man, can i touch your butt?" "i don't mind, dude"

-"let's say my wife is going to leave me and i'm... celebrating! oh wait"

-"they're fat and skinny, they're white, black, pink, purple, and orange-" "trump"

-"listen, idiotface"

-"do you think... the government is hiding the cure for cancer...?"

-i love government conspiracy theories during health

-"i... declare... bAnkrUptCY"

-"are we watching a movie?" "maybe if we're lucky it's the ring and it'll kill us"

-lmao i don't need drugs to feel numb

-"aww, flynn, we know you're drinkin' a bottle in the back room" "yeah, just look at ya, why wouldn't i?"

-The Weed™

-"weed stops your sperm from being produced correctly" "perfect, it's birth control too"

-"weed might shrink your... parts" "i think i'll just stick to meth"

-"weed might give you a special needs child" "it's wilson 2.0!"

-"i'm gonna be a drug dealer but not a mean one like a nice, happy 'eyy, wanna buy some drugs? :3'"

-oh no, grandma's growing weed in the basement

-"ahh, the weed's on fire"

-"guess that's how they caught the drug dealers. the deer were high"

-teacher: "ooh, i just sounded like yoda: don't smoke The Weed™"

-"hey, where can you buy a still? asking for a cousin"

-"raise your hand if you want to watch hentai"

-this guy keeps responding to people with "yes, my child?"

-"they put aborted fetuses in vaccines" "oh honey no"

-"how do you keep yourself from getting sick?" "stop breathing"

-examples of painkillers- "cocaine"

-"i know elvis presley is still alive because the king never dies"

-biggest drinker in our grade: "am i gonna be an alcoholic?" class: "you already are"

-c o m p r o m i s i n g  p o s i t i o n

-"trick question, i am hentai"

-"what would you do... if i said i could put you in your own hentai"

-"you're gettin' a hole in your nose oh my goodness"

-"depression" "nope" "wait... depression"

-"I can't remember the happiness i felt before drugs" "i can't remember feeling happiness at all"

-"oh you're back! just in time for meth"

-"oh my garage"

-"lotta meth in that town" "nah just incest"

-"it kills your brain cells. which some of you can't afford (staring directly at the class alcoholic)"

-"why do dentists have the highest suicide rate?? probably because everyone hates the dentist, i dunno"

-"that's accusations" "uuuuuhh no" "oh"

-"oh my gads. you got some meth?"

-"in the puss!" "terms" "sorry. vag!"

-"there's a pretty good chance that drug came out of someone's anal cavity" "that's why i don't do heroin"

-"hey, whose buttocks did this come out of?"

"i'm gonna go shoot myself with some dog food, brb"

-"oh my chicken pie"

-"i've been told we're gonna draw a penis"

-help they're genuinely discussing giving babies steroids

-"most of the female reproductive cells are useless" "just like my brain cells"

-the teacher keeps referring to developing babies as "little rat" and "alien creature"

-"if you eat my period snacks, i will eat you"

-*chiming* "is that santa??"

-"what's the only fluid that doesn't go to the baby?" "water" "no" "air" "no" "earth" "..." "fire"

-"you're supposed to snort those calcium pills" "don't snort the calcium pills"

-"mr. o'reilly, when'd you miss your period?"

-"is it true you puke the day after you get pregnant?" "no, if you puke the day after, it's from the alcohol the night before"

-fetus = jumbo shrimp

- i too, am a very sad lookin' heart

-"no, you cannot throw up your baby"

-"now that we've taken the baby home, we need to figure out what to do with it" "flush it down the toilet"

-"if you wear a hat all the time, all your hair is gonna fall out and die" "ha ha kevin, you're gonna die"

-"since i was 14. and i'm 112"

-"big dumb"

-"what do you want to be when you grow up?" "dead"

-"my parents say: 'hey... whatcha doin' with that 24-pack?'"

-"did jeffery dahmer's mom love him?" "hope not"

-"ohh i love the smell of babies *sniff sniff*"

-"they can be found in places that are... places"

-"why are there rotting apples under here?" "no you gotta let those ferment"

-"what's something you lose by age 3?" "hope"

-the guy in front of me had marvel porn on his phone????????????? hentai hulk's bright red ass is permanently ingrained in my mind

-"what am i supposed to do to live 2 more years? wrap myself in bubble wrap and eat brussel sprouts?"

-"for every 10 pounds overweight you are, subtract 1." "-50"

-"you're wearing a flamingo shirt, you're no one's favorite"

-"you don't snort viagra"

-"how do you feel about having guns in our home?" "how do you feel about how quickly i'd use it to kill myself?"

-"hey, 2 seniors walking down the hallway! wanna give her your papers?" "outta my way. hey! get back here and gimme your papers, ya bums."

-"it's not just the genitals that transfer STDs" "left calf"

-"what if they got an STD some other way?" "drinking sprite"

-"...serial monogamy-" "cereal is for mornings"

-"...trading sex for-" "chicken nugget"

-"you wanna try sex wearing a hazmat suit, go ahead" "don't kinkshame me"

-"STI: spaghetti time infection. it's an epidemic"

-"g- ross"

-"AIDS didn't come from sex with a monkey" "it's definitely about sex with monkeys"

-"what kinds of drugs do i need if i have AIDS?" "nothing, you wanna die"

-"do you know what they do to get rid of genital warts?" "chop your dick off" "mix wart cream with water and drink it"

-oh no they found out what they do get rid of genital warts

-"they shove a q-tip in your penis" "iiiiii'd rather die"

-"is that what tinder is? swipe right if you want crabs?"

-"i would suggest not setting your genitals on fire"

- "your penis doesn't do tricks"

-"do you have a driver's license? *nod* "do you have a car?" *nod* "are you a big boy?" *unsure nod*

-"i know it's only the last day but i will make you suffer for every last minute" "then i'll just do what i always do *sleeps*"

-our resident alcoholic was washing the board and people were jokingly flirting with him so he tied his shirt into a bikini and continued washing so the teacher docked him points for it. don't worry he was already failing

[britts-galaxy-brain]

My Abusers (Warning: Long)

Once again, Lily proves she not only is incapable of seeing any perspective except her own, she also proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that she never listened to me on the occasions I needed a friend to talk to. SO, let's unpack some more details about my personal life that she knows about and is intentionally leaving out of the story. SO LET'S GET REALLY FUCKING PERSONAL, SHALL WE? (This is going to be pretty long, but since Lily is still acting like an authority on my personal life, it's time to put this out there. I won't be naming the abusive girlfriend, since I never went through with trying to expose her. I let it rest.)

I grew up in an abusive home. When my dad wasn't at work or finding any excuse he could to not be at home, he was temperamental, violent, emotionally manipulative, unpredictable, and sexually abusive. There were several nights my brother and I wouldn't sleep because we could hear them fighting, and we had to keep a listen to make sure he didn't get violent. There were days he would grab my mom by the back of her neck and force her to walk around the house and look at everything he felt wasn't up to par. He'd also cheated on her so often throughout their relationship that when my second brother came along, his paranoia was so bad that he convinced himself for a while that my brother wasn't his kid. He ran a fear and control based household the entire time I was growing up, along with crossing into molestation between the ages of 12 and 14. My mom found out about this, and immediately packed my brothers and I up and left. We ended up living in a low-income apartment for almost a year, and it was the first time in my life I felt like I could breathe without the constant fear of what mood he was going to come home in lingering over me. 

Right before I turned 15, I was subjected to an extremely uncomfortable interview with a detective, and another extremely uncomfortable interview with a CPS officer. The first interview had me doing a spoken statement, and a written statement, while the CPS interview was just spoken. For whatever reason, the CPS officer lied about what I had told him to my mom. According to him, I had told him I had a boyfriend and was sexually active, which was the exact opposite of what I'd said. I had already come to terms with my sexuality, and made it clear that I was a virgin, since I knew the lack of physical evidence could pose an issue. The CPS officer told my mom the opposite, and she didn't know who to believe. The detective later told her that my written statement didn't match what I'd said. I still can't figure out what happened there, and the only thing I can figure is it was because I've always been more articulate in writing than I am speaking. Long story short, I ended up back under his roof. Their fights got worse, since he would throw the fact that she'd moved out back in her face every chance he got. My mom did her best, but she was extremely depressed and it was all she could do to placate him to keep some semblance of peace in the house. When my first brother and I came into our mid teenage years, my dad stayed violent with us whether it was screaming and intimidating us, or dragging us by our hair into our rooms, pushing us into walls, ect. It didn't stop until the day my brother bowed up at him after my dad tried to shove him down the hallway. Long, already condensed story short, I ended up moving out as soon as the opportunity presented itself at 19 just to get away from him.

I had met a woman through a mutual friend who lived in the next town over. She was nine years older than me, and very quickly swept me off my feet after the first date. Due to my desperation to get out from under my dad's roof, the lack of job opportunities in my town, and the fact that my then-girlfriend was about to lose her roommate, I moved in with her after two months of dating. She turned out to be a narcissist. The first few months were absolute bliss. She was romantic, compassionate, supportive, gentle, had her own side income, assured me that she came from a similar home and understood my fears and deep rooted anxieties, ect. I was officially with her for a year and a half, but I didn't get her off my back until two years in. Her perfect girlfriend routine started to wane about three months in, after we moved into another apartment and she began berating me for not starting conflicts with a roommate we were having issues with at the time. Other than being inconsiderate, annoying, and abusing prescription uppers, nothing this roommate did had any real impact on us, so I wanted to keep to myself, especially considering my girlfriend was breaking the lease by staying there. "Pussy", "man up", and other niceties such as those were thrown at me often. 

At the worst point of the relationship, she had enlisted the help of one of her exes, who had stalking and sexual harassment convictions, as well as an addiction to Tramadol that often had him begging her for her pills and stealing them when she wouldn't give him any. I continuously asked her not to indulge him, but she never listened and I'd end up getting the brunt of her explosive moods when she went through withdrawal herself. We lived in this guy's tiny one-bedroom apartment for about a month. Throughout that time frame, I was the only one with an income, and the two of them would regularly gang up on me until I was curled up in a corner of the couch begging them to stop talking for just five minutes so I could breathe. They figured out how to overstimulate me, and would do it to intentionally induce panic attacks. I'd end up having to either leave the apartment, or lock myself in the bathroom, while listening to them yelling insults at me about how I was "running away from my problems". One of the "problems" was the fact that I didn't want to have a threesome with my girlfriend and the male roommate (he was 30). He'd make sexual remarks toward me, and I was afraid to be alone with him. She defended him over me, even though she was there to witness the way he was treating me and knew about his prior convictions. 

We ended up finally moving out of that apartment and in with some people I had met through work. They were a couple that consisted of a woman and a nonbinary individual. Turns out, the nonbinary individual was manipulative and had an addiction to amphetamine-based diet pills. Before we found out about the addiction and the fact that he subtly emotionally abused the fuck out of his girlfriend, both roommates and my girlfriend convinced me to loosen up and play a drinking game with them one night. The holidays were coming up, and after the stress we'd all been under, I figured there wasn't any harm in having a good night. The woman, who was MUCH stronger than I was, ended up holding me down in her lap and sticking her hands up my shirt. Her partner had to physically pull me off of her before she finally let go. I was incredibly shaken, and stayed in my bedroom for the rest of the night. My girlfriend's response? "Well, they warned you she gets handsy when she's drunk." Being practically molested was not what I thought they meant by "handsy". My girlfriend didn't comfort me, didn't defend me, and went back out to hang out with them after telling me I was overreacting.

Right before we were able to move out of that apartment, our fights had gotten so bad that it was making me physically sick. I still went to work and had an income (she did not), but I was underweight, barely eating due to her getting angry at me for spending money on food I could take to work, and I felt utterly powerless and worthless. I was still convinced that if I'd just keep trying a little harder, eventually I'd win back her affection and things could go back to the way they were when we met. The worst fights we ever had involved her screaming at the top of her lungs at me, and when I'd beg her to lower her voice out of fear that the cops would be called, she'd scream back that she hoped they would show up so she could tell them what a horrible person I was. She cornered me on the couch against the wall again one night, forcing me to look her in the eyes during a psychotic break. My hands still shake when I remember her face. The borderline homicidal rage in her eyes, the way her jaw twitched, and the way she kept repeating over and over, "Look at me. Look at me! I hate you." Due to being panicked and cornered, I reached out to try to push her out of the way so I could get away. As soon as my fingers brushed her arm, she jumped off the couch and began shouting, "YOU ASSAULTED ME! YOU ASSAULTED ME!" I sobbed and insisted I hadn't. I hadn't hit her, I hadn't shoved her, I hadn't even moved quickly. I literally just touched her arm. She'd also threatened to make me look in the toilet the next time her bowels bled if I didn't do exactly what she wanted me to do, when she wanted me to do it. Yes, you read that right. 

She would intentionally try to start fights at my workplace that would either end with her screaming at me in the parking lot to my utter mortification, or her intentionally causing tension between us if we were shopping on my day off. She only ever did it at places I worked. She'd start fights with me right before I went in for a shift so I'd go in crying and have to pull myself together in the bathroom and hope nobody noticed my puffy eyes. She'd promised before I moved in with her that she'd be my ride to work since she "couldn't" work a real job, but eventually, she either wouldn't pick me up from work at all, or she'd make me wait for hours on end after my shift ended. She didn't have a working phone, so I couldn't call her to see if she was picking me up or not, or when she was going to get there. I'd just have to sit and wait for her. I'd attempted to walk home before, but she'd shown up late and gotten angry at me for making her drive up there for nothing. She'd also left me at a Biolife facility (selling blood plasma) late in the evening and refused to come pick me up after I discovered she'd taken my social security card out of my wallet and I needed it to register there. She made me walk across a college town, up a highway, by myself, at night, with no working phone. I'm lucky the man that found me exhausted and lost and offered me a ride was a good Samaritan and not a rapist or murderer. When I got home, she immediately got angry and scolded me for getting a ride with a stranger. She ended up admitting one night during a fight that the reason she never picked me up from work was because she didn't want me at the apartment. 

After we moved in to a small, soon-to-be-condemned efficiency, I had been beaten down so badly by her constant flip-flopping, blame shifting, gaslighting, ect. that I didn't want to be at home. I started walking to a nearby coffee shop and staying there until they closed. She started getting angry at me for that, claiming that she'd had plans for us and I'd ruined them by staying out too late. So, I started staying home with her again thinking she wanted to turn things around. She didn't. I was working two jobs at the time, and it was a 50 50 chance on whether I was going to come home to her crafting supplies spread from one end of the apartment to the other, or a day where she'd decided to clean it all up again. She stayed in a constant cycle of spreading her supplies everywhere, getting angry that the apartment was messy, cleaning and organizing it all, rinse and repeat. By this point, she'd made me sell most of my stuff, including everything that had any sentimental value to me, so she was literally getting angry at me for her messes. By this point, I had finally started to catch on to her shit, and started suggesting maybe she should be trying to keep her promise of helping me financially instead of spending all her time and energy cleaning and re-cleaning the apartment. The more I called her out for her inconsistencies and refused to take responsibility for her half of the problems, the angrier and more manic she got. 

I ended up fired for the first time in my life due to the stress, and it was from the job she'd been harping on me to get for months. The only reason she wanted me to work there and nowhere else was because of the employee discounts on the extremely expensive organic supplement pills she was convinced she needed. As soon as she found out I'd been fired (and humiliated by my boss), she kicked me out on the street and told me I couldn't come back until I'd found a job again. I was homeless for two weeks and it was honestly WORLDS better than living with her. My aunt ended up taking me in, and my then ex-girlfriend started blowing up my phone as soon as she found out I had gotten one of my other jobs back. She convinced me we were "common law married" and she would sue me for alimony if I didn't give her half my paychecks. After I had talked to enough people and was absolutely sure she was full of shit and couldn't take me to court, I began devising a plan to cut her off. We had a shared storage unit, and after she kicked me out, I told her I was only going to pay for half of it and she'd have to figure out the other half. Since I didn't have a car, I had to give her my half of the money and hope she'd use it on the storage. Needless to say, she didn't, and I wouldn't find out until the owner would call me letting me know I had late fees. After the second month in a row, I told her if it happened again, I was taking my things out and taking my name off of it and whatever happened to her stuff wasn't my problem. Third month came, she didn't pay it, so I made good on my threat. My mom came out to help me get what little stuff I had out of the unit, and my ex showed up to put on a good face and collect the money I "owed" her. I told her I wasn't giving her anything that week, since she'd let the storage lapse for the third month in a row and I had to pay $100 in late fees just to get in the door. She didn't like that, tried to start a screaming match with me in front of my mom, and ended up almost running my mom over with her car. I told her if she ever tried to contact me for money again, I would press charges. ~~~ This is just SOME of what I was going through during the last half of mine and Lily's friendship, yet I was STILL doing my best to be there for her during emotional emergencies. I just wasn't able to handle her usual habit of using her depressive episodes as an excuse to take her pain out on me, and argue with me over every suggestion I attempted. It got to the point where I had no idea what to say to her when she got like that. I didn't know how to help, and felt attempting to would just make things worse, so I stopped trying. If you don't believe me, I'd like to direct you to the screenshots. We joked around with each other, but I NEVER made fun of her for her identity issues. I did my best to talk her through it, help her understand what she was going through, and help her figure out who she wanted to be. All I ever wanted was for her to feel comfortable in her own skin, and to stop beating herself down every time she got close to a breakthrough. 

I had planned to put more here, but I'm at my limit. You have a LOT of fucking nerve claiming I'm abusive, Lily. I remember you once thought of me as a sweet little “woobie”, even straight up called me a doormat once. One of your biggest pet peeves with me was that I let way too many people walk all over me. So keep throwing the lies and the bullshit at me. I’m stronger than I ever was, and I can fucking take it.

[books-and-cookies]

THINGS I HAVE LEARNED FROM HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS (PART 5/?)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Sorcerer’s Stone

1. Rereading Harry Potter is taking me back to when I was like 10 years old and I’ll take that over the crushing weight of adulthood any day. 2. I would pay money I don’t have to see Lockhart reenact his books using a very, very, veeeeery reluctant Harry. 3. “I was a Seeker too. I was asked to try for the National Squad, but preferred to dedicate my life to the eradication of the Dark Forces.” – I cry, this man gives new meaning to the word delusional. 4. “That’s because he’s a brainless git” – Ron, spreading the gospel to us mere mortals

5. “I don’t want to break rules, you know. I think threatening Muggle-borns is far worse than brewing up a difficult potion” – praise our queen and saviour, Hermione Jean Granger 6. Seriously, though, Hermione is a badass can she pls walk all over me kthxbye 7. “Get to that Snitch before Malfoy or die trying, Harry” – ah, Wood and his happy pep talks. You can feel the excitement building up, alongside the sense of dread and despair. Harry, probably:

8. “All right there, Scarhead? yelled Malfoy” – not gonna lie, The Adventures of Scarhead and his Scarfree Friends has a certain ring to it 9. Okay, but how big of a fuck up can you be, in order to confuse the spell for “mend bone” with the one for “make bone go bye bye” 10. Dobby is a scary ass powerful house elf, baby jesus h Christ. I mean, first the barrier, then the bludger, not to mention that he does all this shit undetected. I’m in awe tbh, GO MY SMOL TINY ELF, GOOOOO FUCK SHIT UP EVEN THOUGH YOU’LL PROBABLY GET PEOPLE KILLED

11. “such a flogging Dobby never had, sir…” – you know, as a kid I kind of glossed over this (probably because I was too lazy to look up the translation for the word “flogging”), but as an adult, finally realising the extent of abuse and misery that Dobby and other house elves have suffered… it’s fucking heartbreaking. 12. “Dobby only wanted Harry Potter hurt enough to be sent home” – this is like when a big fluffy dog charges in to cuddle you and accidentally breaks your bones 13.   *crickets*…. 14.   Okay it’s nothing like that, but whatever, shut up Karen nobody asked you GOD 15. “I hope Ron’s not in another girls’ toilet” – holy fuck, Percy, people are dying being petrified LET IT GO 16. Cue the theme song from Frozen that literally everyone wants to forget but the INTERNET NEVER FORGETS 17. Finding out that the Chamber of Secrets had been opened before is the kind of plot twist I live for

18. Honestly, though, you can’t blame Harry, Ron and Hermione for thinking it’s Draco, the little weasel screams “I open super secret lairs and set off monsters after kids in my free time because I’m *that* dramatic” 19. “You read too much, Hermione, said Ron” – BOOOOOO HIIIIISSSSSS 20. “Harry privately felt he’d rather face Slytherin’s legendary monster than let Snape catch him robbing his office” – honestly this speaks so loudly about who Snape is as a person if a 12 year old would rather face an unknown possibly 100% probably lethal monster, than anger Snape, a human person 21.   Don’t “always” @ me 22.   Fuckity fuck off

23. Hermione went from “it’s Levioooooosa, not Leviosaaaaa” to “I’ll steal some very rare shit from the most feared teacher in school and possibly face expulsion in order to illegally brew a super dangerous and complicated potion in order to solve a mystery” and if this is not character development, I don’t know what is 24. Also, #YOLO because wizards look for danger with a fucking magnet 25. “as safe as poking a sleeping dragon in the eye” – FUN FACT: the motto for Hogwarts literally says “never tickle a sleeping dragon” 26. Shut up, Karen, I never said it was a fun fact for you 27. “When Snape turned and walked off to bully Neville” – IT’S LITERALLY WRITTEN DOWN YOU FUCKS 28. Starting a Dueling Club was literally the least productive thing they could do for school safety. We have a giant invisible monster around, let’s add a fucking Dueling Club to that because YOLO and also who cares about student safety 29. Wait, scratch that, I forgot Lockhart organised this and the man has Walking Disaster™ stapled on his forehead 30. “for full details, see my published works” – can you hear my groan from across the universe? 31. Okay but how did Lockhart convince Snape to take place in the Dueling Club? Was it the prospect of actually curse students under the pretense of teaching? 32. “Wouldn’t it be good if they finished each other off, Ron muttered” – shame Ron isn’t an actual oracle 33. “Do you think he’s all right? she squealed through her fingers.        Who cares? Said Harry and Ron together” – my boys, being the little shits the world deserves

34. “I said disarm only! Lockhart shouted in alarm” – it’s like he’s never seen kids before smh 35. “Scared? muttered Malfoy.       You wish, said Harry” – ICONIC 36. “Just do what I did, Harry!       What, drop my wand?” – SASSY HARRY TO THE RESCUE

37. “Snape, too, was looking at Harry in an unexpected way: it was a shrewd and calculating look” – I wonder if he suspected anything about horcruxes 38. Find yourself some friends who believe you when you tell them you once set free a boa constrictor because it told you it had never seen Brazil. 39. “being able to talk to snakes was what Salazar Slytherin was famous for” – fucking curve ball. Also, don’t tell me you didn’t at least suspect Harry of something shady LIKE WHAT IS HAPPENING 40. All The School Hates Harry 2.0 41. The rumour mill works just the same as it does in our schools, proving that wizards are utter dicks, just like the rest of us 42. Honestly though, how much bad luck could someone have, to stumble upon the petrified body of the very person everyone expects this someone to attack. 43. We should call this the Harry effect. Guaranteed misery. 10% off the first purchase.

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[blackrosesfanfic]

Chapter 202

April

"Diva, How are you Mama?"

"Hey, Joyce, you fool." I chuckle.

She laughs. "Where are you going to be this weekend?"

I touch Caden's foot and smile. "Taking the babies back to LA. Cammie is cooking me a dinner then we going shopping in the morning."

"Before I comment on your fucking life... I would like to say how damn proud of my baby I am. He has not been in any type of trouble this year. I would personally like to blame it on my perfect daughter in law."

"Chris has been doing well."

She makes her eyes big. "I call and he answers. I offer my help figuring things out and he tells me his already well formed plan. I mean thank you God. He even has a golden relationship with this baby's mother of his. I call him asking him when I will see the baby. He tells me to go pick her up and where to get her from. Sure enough the gurl was there with the baby. No attitude no nothing."

"And they say mothers can't pick their children's partner. You said it from the get go. Chris needs to be with Amber. She is second only to Cammie."

"Oh whatever."

I chuckle then stop. "Let me tell you. I'm headed to Charleston because some little whiny thing wants to feel like she not being included as a grandma. Her husband upgraded my ticket and purchased one that has a layover in Charleston. How fucking convenient?"

"Stop. She complain because she not active? I mean do you see me asking? I make shit happen."

"Exactly. Not whine to my damn children."

"Bitches. So how long will you be in Charleston?"

"About two hours. I am not going to church with them. Not again. White ass church. Everybody scared to get up and clap. Got a nerve to have a damn limit on offerings. Grandma gave the little boy $2 saving the lord has his eyes on you put both of them in."

Joyce claps her hand against something. "Shut up, April."

"Buggiz going to church with them to make sure everything go well. If taking my grandbabies to church with you settles all else then by all means take them to church. But I will not be going."

"Hold on, April."

Lane walks into the room stripped down to his boxers. "I not going nowhere."

I tilt my head at him. "Excuse me?"

"We not are-ne. I not go. K?" he says putting his hand up and walking back out.

"This boy done lost his mind." I say out loud to myself.

Joyce comes back to the phone. "I was saying who from across the room. Who?"

I shake my head. "Lane's ass comes in here with no clothes telling me he not going and we not arguing about it. Who the hell he think he talking to?"

"He said he not arguing?"

"Yes. Then said okay like I need to understand that it's final. Lord, help this child."

Joyce laughs. "Oh be quiet. You not going to do nothing. Look at my sweet baby."

I smile. "Awh, hey, Royalty. She is too cute."

"Yes she is in grandma outfit. She trying to get back to the dog." Joyce says putting her down.

"So cute. If only Lane were that easy to deal with. I miss that age. He was just grandma sweet baby. Now that mouth. I be like Lane..."

He yells. "Huh?"

"Boy come here. Nobody called you."

"Huh?" he says at the door.

I turn the camera to him. "Look at this J."

She busts out laughing. "He has nothing on."

"Lane where your clothes?"

"Bathroom."

"Go get your clothes on."

He puts his hands on his hips. "I not going, Nanma. Told you that."

I roll my eyes. "I'm not going to be dealing with this poorly articulated preteen all day. He gonna make me call his mama. Joyce you should hear him telling me he told me he not going. How old is he?"

"He is 14 years premature."

"Yes!" I look up for him. He playing with his truck like it's nobody business he naked. "Let me get off this phone."

She laughs. "Call me when you get in."

I shake my head. "You know I'm going to."

"Lane!"

"You yelling? Wake that baby now."

I cover my face. "I'll just call Cammie because we not going to get no fucking where."

"Geesh." he says walking out.

"What?"

He doesn't say nothing. Cammie just don't know that this boy repeats everything he hears her say to him. He knows way too many word combinations and he can barely say the damn words. Too smart. Here he comes with new clothes. Not the ones he had on before. What is his reason for this?

"Those are not the same clothes. Where are your other clothes?"

"The bathroom."

I stand up. "Lane, I'm not playing with you boy."

He starts crying. "Sorry, Grandma."

"Oh really." I say walking out.

"No." he says grabbing my hand and stomping his feet.

What did he fucking do? Stupid of me to let him be alone. I walk into the bathroom across the hall. No clothes or signs of Lane. I go down the hall to Forrest's bathroom. He laying across the floor with a towel on his head.

"What are you doing?"

"Only way I can tell when that devil coming."

I suck my teeth and peek into his bathroom. "Look at this shit. You didn't hear your damn nephew playing in water?"

"Huh?" he says sitting up. "Playing in what?"

"Clean this shit up."

Forrest drops his head when he peeks in the bathroom. "Man that little fucker."

I hit him. "Don't call him that."

"Go hit him for fucking throwing his shit in the toilet. Where the damn water come from?"

"He can turn on water." I push Forrest and walk away.

I get to the room ready to fuss at him. He is on the bed with Caden in his underwear with his pants halfway on. He turns his head looking at me then he turns back burying his head into Caden's side. Caden doesn't even move.

"Lane."

"I can't."

I sigh. He making me sad. "Come on. Let me help you."

I fix his pants and put his shirt on. My phone rings. He drops it answering it before I could.

"Grandma." he says. "Hey, Grandma."

I put it on speaker then finish putting his shirt on.

"Hello, Lane. You going to come see me?"

"I go see mommy."

"Where is your grandma April?"

I button his shirt. "I'm here."

"I canceled the thing at church. I'm not spending my 3 hours staring at the pastor's wife speak. What do you think about wine sipping and the fun park with my other grandbaby?"

"Let me find out you cool people behind that church dress."

She giggles. "I was able to entertain an entertainer for years. I'm no slow church hat wearing nun."

"Okay." I laugh. "But I'm not going anywhere with Lane and that cute she demon."

"I called her Sula. Like from the Little Mermaid. But she has a nanny."

"Fancy."

She giggles. "Only when she is with me. I can't handle that girl. Her mother can't do nothing with her. She only listens to Cammie and her father."

I laugh. "Poor nanny."

"What? No she gets paid. I warned her. It's all fair."

"Let me get ready to the flight."

"Okay, be safe."

I cut my eyes at the phone. Let me find out that Cammie mother has another side to her. One not so bitchy and stuck up.

  Cammie

"I don't even know." I blow. "I'm so ready to see my babies."

"I bet so." MiMi says.

There's a rock at the door. I wipe my hands off and look out of the kitchen. Trey isn't nowhere to be seen. I sigh then walk to the door. I forgot to tell MiMi to hold on. Some little kid screams. I get happy thinking about Lane then I suddenly get sad. He doesn't even make that noise.

"I told you, Mommy!" King yells. "Where Lane?"

"Calm down boy." I say. "Lane on the airplane. He not here."

King ignores me running pass me. "Trey! Hi!"

"What's up, Cairo. Angela."

"Where Lane?"

"He at the store." Trey says.

King sits on the couch. "Where boy at?"

"Who Caden? The baby?"

"Yeah."

"Hey, Boo." I say hugging Chyna.

She makes her eyes big then rubs her belly. "Guess who packing?"

I pull her towards the kitchen. "Shut up. Another baby?"

"You made it look so easy."

"And the daddy?"

She giggles. "Not telling your trifling ass cause you so wrapped up in your life you don't care about a bitch."

"Bitch." I giggle. "MiMi!"

"Where you went?" MiMi snaps.

I get close to the phone first. "This pregnant slut came to my door."

"Who?"

"Angela the fake ass china doll."

"I hate that bitch." MiMi snaps. "I don't even know why you telling me about her."

Chyna laughs. "You dick mouth bitch."

MiMi sucks her teeth. "I bet she don't know the daddy."

"I hate y'all. King! Let's go. Lane not home."

"Wait." I laugh. "Who the daddy? Cause last I checked you were single."

She sticks up her middle finger. "Find out before I get back or fucking hold your breath and die."

King comes into the kitchen with Lane truck. "I stay. Bye."

"No, come on. You can come back when Lane gets home." She says nicely. He falls dropping the car and screaming. "King I said... Oh my fucking gosh."

"Bad parent." MiMi yells.

Chyna giggles. "Shut up your baby still sits down to pee."

I laugh. "You so dumb. King stop showing off. Get up."

"Okay." He pouts. "I stay Cammie?"

"No, we going to get your car. Stop acting stupid. I swear. Fine stay. I can save all my money. You won't get the car."

He falls out again. "I want my car!"

Trey walks in the kitchen. "What are y'all doing to him?"

"Nothing." Chyna says grabbing his arm. "We will be bad after he gets his car. What time Lane coming?"

"5." King says.

Chyna looks at me. "What time?"

"Actually it is 5. I say looking at the clock. Who told you that, King?"

"Trey." King says snatching away from Chyna and running to the door. "See you later!"

"Bye, King."

Trey sighs. "Damn, I thought Lane did too much crying."

Chyna rolls her eyes. "I will be bringing him back. He not going to shut up about Lane."

"That's fine. Bring clothes for him. You minus well."

"I'm glad you already know." She says grabbing some grapes. "And make me a plate. MiMi ol stank ass."

MiMi laughs then stop. "Cammie! Guess who came by today with gifts and shit."

"Chris?"

"No girl. You warm."

"Umm... Joyce?"

She sighs. "No, you not gonna guess. Fucking LyLy."

"Chris sister? What? Gifts?"

"My fucking son. I swear. K don't know when they spent time together. She says he told her that she forgot 5 of his birthdays. He not fucking 5. So what he talking bout. She gave him 5 gifts. This little guy got the world figured out."

I laugh. "He is a mess. I swear. These bad ass kids."

"Mama say they gonna be late."

"What?" I snap turning to Trey.

Trey shrugs. "They got to wait for a later flight."

"How they even... MiMi let me call April."

"K." she says hanging up.

I call April. She answers the phone laughing. "We still haven't left yet, Cammie. Caden has exactly 3 bottles thanks to Lane."

"What did Lane do? Waste it?"

"He drunk it. He opened the bottle top and drunk it. Said that it was his Mommy milk for him."

I laugh. "What is his problem? Do I need to start pumping for him?"

"What happened?" Trey asks.

That reminded me of him saying they were leaving late.

"So if he only has 3 bottles how late are you planning on leaving? That's not going to last long."

"Girl, calm down. I'm in Virginia on schedule as planned. What are you talking about?"

I cut my eyes at Trey. He smiles and shrugs. Lying ass. What was the fucking point of doing that? I roll my eyes at him.

"Trey told me you were leaving late."

"Don't follow that boy up. I will call 'YOU' with any changes. Plus I only have 3 bottles. I'm going to be there by 5."

"Okay just call when you land in South Carolina, Ma."

"You know I will."

I put the phone on the counter then turn to Trey. "Tremaine?"

He shrugs again. "We have 4 hours before the boys are home. Can I have my wife to myself?"

"Unbelievable. Put those cans up. Are you going to help me clean up and get this dinner started?"

"In 3 hours."

I roll my eyes. "I'm trying to have this dinner ready for your mother, Tremaine."

"2 and a half hours."

"What are we gonna do for 2 hours?"

He puts a grape between his teeth then lick around it. I turn away from him and dump the chicken into the slow cooker. I already planned for dinner as though the kids were home. I know Trey isn't going to let me cook and clean without catering to him in between. I wash my hands then look to see if he put the cans up.

"Tremaine?"

"Are these cans sorted out? Why? In alphabetical order? Get the fuck out of here. Who took the time to fucking do this?"

I go to the pantry door. "I had someone else do it."

"You paid someone to organize our pantry?"

"I did. Kid freely. See... Big stuff on the ground. Snacks knee high. Cans secure, shelves secure, and child locks for wine and liquor."

He throws some grapes in his mouth. "Fucking pathetic. This some shit I would do."

"Wanna see if it is safe for us?"

"How? Climb the shelves?" he says grabbing a shelf above his head.

I take my shirt off. "A little less ambitious."

He looks at me then smile. "Get over here."

[edsmysterygirl]

92 TRUTHS - tagging @justaboywithaonemanshow @givemeedplzfanks @edandanniina

THE LAST…

1) Drink: Forest fruit squash. 2) Phone call: My mom. 3) Text message: A friend from uni. She asked me to proof-read her thesis. 4) Song you listened to: I’m A Mess. I’m rewatching Glastonbury. 5) Time you cried: Friday, when I had my mental breakdown. Good news though, I get until the end of August to finish my thesis!

HAVE YOU EVER…

6) Dated someone twice: Nope. My current boyfriend is my first boyfriend ever. 7) Been cheated on: No. 8) Kissed someone and regretted it: No. 9) Lost someone special: I mean, a lot of family members and family friends. But is it bad if I say the worst ‘someone’ that I lost was my previous dog…? I never knew two of my grandparents and I lost one when I was 3 and the last one when I was 7. I feel like I never got to form a bond with them. And I wasn’t very close with the other people that I lost. 10) Been depressed: Never had the official diagnosis, but came close to it. People have been wanting to put me on antidepressants probably since I was 16 – but I have always refused. Let’s just say I have a lot of problems and have been in therapy on and off for 13 years now. It’s a long story. 11) Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope, I don’t drink. 😊

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS…

12) Blue. 13) Yellow. 14) Red.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

15) Made new friends: In RL, not really. On Tumblr? Hell yes! 16) Fallen out of love: No. 17) Laughed until you cried: Yes. My boyfriend will sometimes make me laugh till a point where I basically can’t stop laughing and start crying. Fun times. 18) Found out someone was talking about you: Like, behind my back? Probably. 19) Met someone who changed you: Does discovering Ed count? 20) Found out who your true friends are: Yes. I’ve basically isolated myself socially in the past few years. The people that still check on my even though I don’t check on them (I know, I should…), those are my true friends. 21) Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Well, I’m friends with my boyfriend, so yes.

OTHER…

22) How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life?: I don’t see everyone regularly, but I met all of them at least once in RL before I added them. 23) Do you have any pets?: A dog and a cat. 😊 24) Do you want to change your name?: My last name, sometimes. No one ever gets it right. I guess marriage may fix that one day though, lol. 25) What did you do for your last birthday?: Make a Tumblr, LOL. 26) What time do you wake up?: Sometimes I wake up at 7:15 AM, sometimes I wake up at 4:00 PM… My sleep schedule has been all over the place lately. It’s messed up. If I had nothing to do I would probably sleep from 2 AM until 12 PM. 27) What were you doing at midnight last night?: Watching a Supernatural episode with my boyfriend (over Skype, because LDR). 28) Name something you cannot wait for: The day that this freaking thesis is finished!! 29) When was the last time you saw your mother?: Monday morning when I left for uni. I’ll see her again tomorrow when I go back home for the weekend. 30) What is one thing you wish you could change about your life?: My mental health? 31) What are you listening to right now?: Nancy Mulligan (still watching Glastonbury). 32) Have you ever talked to a person named Tom?: No actually? I know a Tim. And a billion Thomases. But no Tom. 33) Something that is getting on your nerves: My thesis. 34) Most visited website?: Facebook? Though maybe now Tumblr… 35) Elementary: Not that great. I got bullied a lot. Didn’t have many friends. Other than that alright, I guess? 36) High School: Okay. Bullying turned into ignoring me. Still didn’t have many friends. But these were the years that I discovered my love for languages and strangely enough I really enjoyed high school. 37) University: Still enrolled at the moment. Hoping to finish my Master’s degree in translation this year. 38) Hair color: Brunette. 39) Long or short hair?: Very long. 40) Do you have a crush on someone?: My boyfriend. And Ed, of course. 41) What do you like about yourself?: That’s a difficult question that I can’t really answer at the moment… 42) Piercings?: None, not even earrings. 43) Blood type?: No clue… Probably should find that out at some point. 44) Nickname?: MG on here. 😂 I don’t really have a nickname in RL. My mom calls me Josephine sometimes, which has nothing to do with my name. 45) Relationship status?: I have a boyfriend. 46) Zodiac sign?: Gemini. 47) Pronouns: She/her. 48) Favorite TV show: I used to watch SO MANY TV shows. Back when I was in high school I would watch 12 at the same time (like, as the episodes came out). For the past 2, 3 (?) years I have sort of stopped myself from watching TV shows. Because I get obsessed with things. Like with Ed right now lol. I will still occasionally watch an episode (like last night), but I’m really behind on everything. My enthusiasm for TV shows is probably what led to me studying English in the end. And Supernatural was the common interest that matched my boyfriend and I. 😊  49) Tattoos: None. 50) Right or left hand?: Right hand, though I can write with my left hand if I have to. But I don’t consider myself ambidextrous.

FIRST…

51) Surgery: Does a lumbar puncture (spinal tap) count? Probably not. Felt like one though. I have a medical phobia and about a year ago they suspected meningitis, so I had to have one. One of the most traumatic experiences I have had. They had to sedate me because I was so panicked. The whole hospital must’ve heard me scream and I pushed a doctor away (not on purpose, but if I’m yelling “STAY AWAY FROM ME” in your face and you approach me with a weird object that looked like something they were going to do the puncture with, well…) So they ended up sedating me and luckily I don’t remember a thing from the procedure itself. But they must have hit something, because my legs were numb and I couldn’t feel whether my bladder was full or not for like a week after. I’d just go to the toilet at times where I would usually go because I just didn’t feel anything. Plus I couldn’t stand up for longer than 10 minutes or my legs would collapse. Luckily all that went back to normal, though I still get this weird back pain from time to time that I associate with that. I don’t know how I will ever survive a proper surgery… 😭 I just can’t handle pain. 52) Piercing: Still don’t have one. 53) Sport: I don’t know which one came first, horse-riding or table tennis. Started both when I was 11. I stopped playing table tennis when I was 20, I stopped riding horses when I was 16. I don’t miss any of my hobbies that I’ve given up, except for horse-riding. 54) Vacation: We used to have a caravan/travel trailer when I was little. We’d go to the same camp site every year where we had our own spot with a shed and stuff. We’d go there in the weekends and during the summer. Later we bought a mobile home at a different camp site, but that camp site closed down when I was 20. Now going to see my boyfriend (and him coming over to see me) just counts as vacation for me. But that will change once I finish uni, I guess. 55) Pair of trainers: No clue? WHY IS 56 MISSING 57) Eating: Of the day? Ice lolly… 58) Drinking: Water. 59) I’m about to: Make dinner, mac & cheese. 60) Listening to: YNMIDNY. 61) Waiting for: My motivation to kick in. 62) Want: To sleep. All day, every day. 63) Get married: I’m not married yet. 64) Career: Don’t really have a career yet… I have a student job at a holiday resort with villas. And before that I worked as a cashier in a supermarket. I’d like to become a subtitler eventually.

YOUR TYPE…

65) Hugs or kisses?: I could live without kisses, but not without hugs. Not that I want to live without kisses... But if I had to choose, I mean. 66) Lips or eyes?: Eyes. 67) Shorter or taller?: If you would have asked me this a couple of years ago, I’d say taller. But my boyfriend is shorter than me. That’s what you get when you date an Englishman as a Dutchie. 😊 68) Older or younger?: Older. 69) Nice arms or nice stomach?: Arms. 70) Sensitive or loud?: Sensitive. 71) Hook up or relationship?: Relationship. I don’t think I could ever just hook-up with someone. Maybe Ed, lol. 72) Troublemaker or hesitant?: Out of those two, hesitant I guess?

HAVE YOU EVER…

74) Kissed a stranger?: No. 75) Drank hard liquor?: No. 76) Lost glasses, contact/lenses?: No. I’ve never lost my glasses, but I’ve sat on them before, lol. 77) Turned someone down?: Relationship-wise? No. In general? Probably. 78) Sex on first date?: No. 79) Broken someone’s heart?: No. 80) Had your heart broken?: No. 81) Been arrested?: No. 82) Cried when someone died?: Yes, obviously. 83) Fallen for a friend?: Yes.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

84) Yourself?: No…t really. 85) Miracles?: No. 86) Love at first sight?: No. 87) Santa Claus?: No. Funnily enough most Dutch kids don’t believe in Santa Claus. They believe in Sinterklaas instead. He’s a saint (Saint Nicholas) who gives presents to kids (in the weeks leading up to and) on the 5th of December. Some parents decide to have their kids believe in both, but I think most Dutch kids grow up with the idea that Santa Claus (or the Christmas Man, as we call him) is simply fake. Not sure why little me never questioned the existence of Sinterklaas, though… 88) Kiss on the first date?: Since I met my boyfriend online and the first time I met him in RL was after months of Skyping and already sort of being in a relationship, yes? 89) Angels?: No. I don’t believe in a higher power, though sometimes I wish I did.

EVEN MORE…

90) Current best friend’s name: Merel. 91) Eye color: Hazel? 92) Favorite movie: All of the LotR movies?

[canadas-googlesearchhistory]

OH NO WHAT WAS I THINKING THIS IS PURE SHIT RIGHT HERE GOODBYE ALSO IT HAS NO TITLE *AGGRESSIVELY POOFS OUT*

I lay waiting in bed, waiting to see if I would be one of the ones to disappear. I hated this time of year. I was only 13 though, so this was the first year of many to come when I had to wait through the night. Staring around my room I looked for something to do. Not that there was much in my room. It was pretty small with a medium sized bed, wood floor and walls, with a rug in the middle of the room. Not much, but it’s all I know. There was a small desk in the corner of the room with drawing supplies on it and a mirror. I got up to look in the mirror. Putting my long brown hair in a ponytail, I stared at my reflection, and my reflection stared back. With blue eyes, and pale skin. I hated all this waiting. When I was little, I remember these nights being thick fear. My mom’s voice called to me through the door again, underlined with tension, “Are you still there Ash?” “Yes” I called back trying to keep the worry out of my voice. I walk back to my bed and lie on it thinking. Every year 3 kids ages 13-19 go through what we call the change, mostly the 13 or 14-year-olds. Nobody knows what they look like afterwards, because they disappear. This happens because the ruler of the world, (at least our world at the moment) Grizwald casts a spell to keep us under control. Today is December 1st, the first day out of the three days when 3 kids are chosen to be changed. Each day one kid is disappears over the wall that surrounds our village, built with magic by the evil (obviously) wizard Grizwald. I will have to wait for the next two days to see if I too, will be gone. We hear a howl pierce through the night. I bolt upright and run to my mom. I am not the only one, though. My little sister Sally runs to her too. Her too small form makes her look like a 5-year-old. She is wearing a small pink dress that goes down to her knees and no shoes. I wonder who was chosen this time. I hope it isn’t any of my best friends Amber, Sam, and Danny? This village is under a curse. I am sure there are other villages out there, but he has isolated us. Sometimes I wonder what’s out there. My mom puts my little sister back in bed, and I follow her outside to see who disappeared this time. I find out as soon as we go outside. The house next to us has a great big hole in the back. When I see this, my eyes widen, and everything gets a little blury. Amber is missing. I start crying. Amber, my best friend, is gone. I remember running around together when we were kids, playing in the meadow, picking apples. No more times will I go over to her house and have a sleepover. No more times will I comfort her around these days because she remembers when her brother disappeared. No more times will she comfort me because I find something of my fathers. I remember when my father died, trying to protect someone, and I cry harder. ~~~Flashback~~~ It was two years ago. I stared up at the ceiling waiting for the telltale sign that this night was over. Even if I was not in danger, the different emotions swirling around everyone almost felt tangible, and affected me too. The worry on my mom’s face was noticeable and it was easy to see the stiffness in my father’s shoulders. “Mom? Dad?” I asked walking outside of my bedroom. “I can’t sleep.” “I’ll go get you a glass of water” Mom replied. As she walked through the dead silence to the living room I walked to the window and watch my dad talking with Amber’s brother, Josh. I think he’s 17. Dad was urgently saying something, but I couldn’t hear him that well. All I heard was “hurry… inside…” “Your dad is trying to convince Josh to go inside, because it’s late. Nobody wants him to disappear.” She told me. I kept watching only to see dark mass, similar to smoke, appear behind him. That’s when all chaos broke loose. My mom opened the window screaming at them to run. The black mass started moving and let loose a howl. As Josh started running, my father stepped between the smoke and Josh. As the smoke passed around him I heard him scream. My eyes widen as he hits the ground, and the keeps going only to wrap around Josh. It starts traveling faster, only to vanish over the wall. That was when we first learned what truly happened. ~~~End of Flashback~~~ People try to comfort me, but I don’t see them. I see my father, patting me on my back after I won the marathon around the wall. I see Amber tagging me and laughing as she runs away, knowing I will tag her back. My mom leads me back to the house. I slowly walk through the kitchen barley seeing my sister standing by her room. Walking into my room, I collapse on the bed and all out of tears, I sleep until morning. I wake up, and everything crashes down on me like a bulldozer. I curl up in a ball and try to go back to sleep, but there is too much light. My sister, only 7, already knows what happened and hugs me. “Goodnight sissy” she tells me. Then she closes the blinds so I can sleep. I thank her quietly, and am asleep again before she closes the door. When I wake up again, I am starving. So I go to the kitchen to find some food. We are all silent as we eat lunch. After lunch I would normally go to Amber’s house, but since she isn’t there I decide to go to the meadow instead. Our village is laid out with a huge wall around about four sections. In one section are the houses, in another a meadow. In the third there is a market where people exchange things and in the fourth a field. There is a river that flows through the field and meadow. “See you in a while mom. I am going to the meadow.” I say quietly. I don’t have the strength to talk. I jog to the meadow to get my blood flowing. When I get there I flop down into the flowers. It seems cruel to have blue skies, with no clouds when I feel so gloomy. I close my eyes. I feel so sleepy. I suddenly open my eyes to find it is dark out. I hear a howling. It sounds close. I jump up and sprint as fast as I can toward my house. I can feel my heart pounding. “Ash,” my mom screams, as I get nearer, “Come quickly, there’s something chasing you!” I run harder, but it is too late. I am surrounded by darkness. There was so much pain all around me. A scream was torn from my throat. I forced open my eyes, watering with pain and saw that although I was surrounded by blackness, I could still see everything. There was too much pain to struggle, and all out of energy I slumped over suspended by the smoke. When I looked up, I could see Sam running toward me. I tried to yell at him to stop, that this was how my dad died, but I couldn’t. He collided with the darkness, and he got sucked in too. Then we were rushed forward, flying over the wall and toward the castle. I bet the magician who put this curse on us lives there. I saw a glimpse of this, and snatches of a forest, then the pain was too much and I blacked out. When I came to, we were lying on the stone floor of what used to be the throne room. There were remnants of old tapestries on the walls, some bits of red carpet, the remains of a fireplace, and two thrones. A man covered in a black robe came toward us. I tried to back away, but I couldn’t move anything but my eyes. Sam lay next to me in the same situation. As he came toward us I studied him. He was tall, and thin, but strong. He put a bracelet on each of us, and snapped his fingers so that we could move. I jumped up, and tried to run, but he caught my arm in an iron grip. “It’s no use running” he said in a sly voice. It made me want to hurl. “Let us go” I demanded He ignored me. “Guards!” he called “Take these two to dungeon room 5D.” “What are you going to do with us?” Sam asked “How come Sam is still alive after touching the black stuff, but my father died?” I started questioning him. “All your questions will be answered in time, my friend.” He told us. ‘Friend?’ I thought, ‘more like enemy.’ Two guards came towards us. Both were really tall and had armor on. It was impossible to see their faces through the shadows. They carried us away. I tried to struggle, but the guard hit me so I stopped. I could tell that Sam was having the same problem. It took us 5 minutes just to get down to the dungeon room. How many does he have anyway? I looked down the hallway while we waited for another minute or so for the two dungeon keepers to open the lock on the dungeon door. The dungeons seemed to go on forever. They shoved us in, and re-locked the door. I looked around. Our cell was dark and gloomy, with a small room that held a toilet. I looked to the room next to us. It was called room 5C. A huddled figure sat on the bed in a corner. “Amber!” I cried out. She looked up. “So you got caught too Ash? How come Sam ended up with you?” “He tried the same thing my father did” I replied “What I don’t get is why he survived, and came with me, but my father died!” “Maybe it’s because I am only 13, but your father was older than 19.” Sam said. “We need to find out why we are all here.” Amber said. “Let’s get some sleep first” I said yawning. I woke up confused because there was stone all around me, and then I remembered everything that had happened. I groaned and tried to go back to sleep, but I couldn’t. I sat up. Sam had kindly lent me the bed while he slept on the ground. Soon everyone was awake. I heard footsteps up above. They were getting nearer. “They’re bringing the next person down” Amber whispered to us. I looked to see who it was this time. “Don’t say anything” Amber warned us. “They’ll punish you if you talk.” I looked to see who it was and gasped. It was Danny. He also had a bracelet on. As they were putting him in his cell, he stumbled against one of the guards. The guard glared at Danny and pushed him on the ground. Danny got up and clenched his fists, but said nothing. Then the guard put him in his cell and locked the door. He looked at us, but didn’t say anything until both of them left. Then Danny told us as quietly as he could, “We have to get out of here.”

[hungribunni]

Sermon by guest pastor, Ps Leon Fontaine

Offering song: People Need The LORD "At the end of broken dreams, He's the open door." ���😮 Ps Leon Fontaine - one of the four pillars of TBN There's a term God gave him a while ago. Unless the church becomes both spiritually alive and contemporary relevant to the places we are and people we speak to, the church will struggle otherwise Need to be spiritually filled with His joy, peace, grace, knowledge and remember the HS flows through us. Don't embarrass God. Don't say or do things that are condescending. To be spirit contemporary. Talk about HS today. Leon's dad was a pastor and he spent 14y working under the ministry. Supported himself for 7y as a paramedic. The church he was in had a beautiful worship ambience. One night was called to the scene of a horrible accident. Child lying faced down in a ditch. Passed away. Mother and another child were hanging by their seat belts. As he looked in the water and saw the blood in the water. He heard the mother crying and groaning. Something in him cried out to God. We need the power of Jesus here in the ditch more than we need in the church last night. He was raised in a church where they said the HS was a dove. Bible didn't say HS is a dove. Moves like a dove. They felt like if u made too much noise, the HS would fly away. Too excited or loud the HS would leave. So ushers tried to control the noise and people. No worship team and a crying mum and a ditch. No ushers to control the scene. No worship team. Most preachers would lose their anointing in the face of such a terrible scene. He prayed God I want your miraculous to fill me and God spoke clearly to him. I want to teach u to move in the things of the Spirit outside the four walls of the church. U folks where u work don't have a band to play P&W music when u want to pray for a colleague. U won't have a choir following you everywhere. U need to know God has designed u such that the HS is in you and is released in the miraculous even if no one but u is around. Leon's dad was 14-15yo and given 3y to live. His great grandma dragged him to a service where there was a healer and he was completely healed. He was so passionate for God and the HS would often guide him to stop at houses to pray for healing for people. He was just driving by a home when he sensed someone was dying and that he should pray for them. They had just fetched their dad home to die from the hospital. They had just put their dad on the couch. He was sent to die at home. Leon's dad shared the story of the finished work with them and he was able to receive his miracle. He was instantly healed and his 8 kids were all saved because of ONE miracle. When the spirit of truth has come, He will guide u into all truth. Whatever he uses he will speak and he will tell u things to come. We have a lot of knowledge of the Spirit but it stops us from flowing. The HS doesn't decide not to heal people today. He wants to flow forth from us into other people. To guide us with incredible accuracy as to who, when, how. A witness is someone who has witnessed something. The HS will send u to witness to others. What has God done for u? How has he given u peace or broken an addiction that enslaved u formerly? How has he healed u? Your job isn't to figure out why good people died. U share what u have witnessed/ experienced... What u have seen. The former ministry he worked under thought the fivefold ministry = pros, laity= rookies. No. In the OT, priests and prophets had anointing. In NT, we ALL have Jesus the anointed one who is in us. I didn't get all of Jesus and u got half or quarter of him. HS Power- inherent, permanent, inseparable. Can be released and never leaves. THE HS POWER we receive is to help us have moral excellence and spiritual excellence. When u are a born again believer, u could handle anything and be guided to excel in that area. Not just from church platform. Everywhere u go, the HS will flow. Empowered to prosper us at work. Anchor mind and heart in the Word to see miracles take place. Leon's parents had a sense of humour. He has twin brothers called Rock and Roll. If they bring drugs or anything contraband at home, she would walk right to where the things were hidden and flush them down the toilet. They knew mum and dad were guided by the HS. He could not do a wigglesworth and throw people against the wall and yell out LIVE! He would quietly go into rooms to pray for patients and saw miracle after miracle take place. Once Elsie, someone working in church, fell and busted her hip. She won't let the doctors touch her until he prayed for her. He went there and the doc and nurses were tensed. He prayed. After the procedure they scanned her and she was healed. After he left, her foot turned the right way around. But it was way too short. Then she cried, God. The leg extended and clicked in place. They have X-rays to prove this miracle. Once Leon was preparing and reading at a restaurant and felt he wasn't allowed to go out that door. Turned and went to the kitchen and got into his car. He turned the corner and saw two men standing outside the restaurant with a knife. He has received death threats before and the HS guided him to safety. Presence of God is in us. We need to be aware and let Him flow through us and to touch others for Him. Once he felt he had to back to work. He was supposed to go home for supper. But obeyed. As he arrived, saw a hubcap spinning. Car accident. The guy was dead. Heart stopped. Leon breathed in him and said LIVE in Jesus' name. The attendants didn't do any CPR. Leon was weirded out so followed them back to hospital. Asked medics and they said he had a normal heart beat. Leon visited him. He was in bed and not responding. Leon went three nights to share about Jesus to him. He asked the guy if u can hear me, blink twice. He blinked twice. And he managed to communicate with the guy and get him to receive Jesus. Went back the next day, the guy wasn't around. He had passed away that night. Leon was able to share Jesus with the man so he could escape hell and make Heaven. He could have died unsaved but was able to receive Jesus before passing away. At a university, he prayed. A ton of things happened. A lady began to scream. Her 12yo girl with braces felt pain through her leg and they pulled the braces off because it hurt. Her leg was perfectly healed. Another corner a lady who carved words calling herself horrible things, horribly demonically possessed, the very scars that formed the words disappeared. They took her to the toilet and checked and ALL the scars and words on her body were gone. God had touched and healed her. The world that we speak to need Jesus so bad. I was with u in the demonstration of the power of God. I want u to know that around u there are people who want to take their lives, people need the LORD. Some dress nice but are dying inside. And if only someone could see that. Leon went to Starbucks and if anyone stands out to him, that's HS nudging him. He went to speak to a guy whom the HS nudged him to check out. Didn't join him and go GOD ASKED ME TO SPEAK TO U. Be contemporary, be cool and be relevant. He just asked politely if he could join him. They chatted and Leon asked hey u look down, are u ok? The guy shared that his wife was lying in the hospital and dying. Leon said the church he goes to, they pray for people who aren't well. Asked if they could pray for her. Got her name and they parted ways. When he returned two months later to the same cafe, he walked in and this guy calls out to him. He heads over. Leon forgot who he was. He shared that he went back to the hospital after the coffe break, the doctors who said she was hopeless, they suddenly were able to treat her and in a week's time she went home healthy and cancer free. U don't have to be a pastor for God to use you. A pastor is like a coach. The coach should be on the bench and the players, the saints should be ministering on the field. It's not a very interesting game if 40 chubby coaches are running on a field. The police have Leon's number and they would call him for help. One day he responded to the police's call. A guy was frothing and yelling away. The guy and his family were doing drugs and gambling. He took the rifle and sprayed family with bullets. Couldn't kill himself. Could not reach the rifle trigger. The bullets didn't kill anyone. But they couldn't calm him down. Leon walked into the room and the guy started saying all sorts of cuss and swear words. Leon walked up to him and said In Jesus name, young man I'm going to help u. The man calmed down. Twitching as he sat on the chair. Said to him, none of your family is dead. He broke down and sob. Alcohol and drug makes people do things they don't wanna do. He asked what should he do. Leon prayed with him and told him about Jesus. He received Jesus. Spoke to him about legally what he might take place but they could pray favour over the situation. He brightened up and the peace of God came over him. The police watching them were in shock. Lol. HS comes into u and sealed in U when U receive Jesus. There is a one way valve - your fear and sin can't go back into u. The HS is in u. Learn to sense Him. 1 Cor Don't be unaware of the spiritual gifts. Must understand the spiritual. Don't be ignorant of that which moves in the HS. Don't be so in tune with your flesh u can't release from your spirit. 1 Cor 14:1 Pursue love but desire earnestly the spiritual gifts. Seek actively and be so passionate about the gifts of the Spirit. Pursue love first then desire earnestly with a passion. 1 Cor 12:31 Desire earnestly the best gifts. The best gift is the one u need for the situation u are in. Leon was once attacked by a guy holding an iron rod. He said in Jesus name. The man suddenly dropped the iron rod, and ran afraid away from Leon. That's HS! Leon went by a bad bar at a rough part of town. 5 men jumped off the bar stool and circled him. Leon was asked what he was doing there. He said he was there to share Jesus with people and Jesus is His friend. The guy mocked him and said he and his friends would whack him. Leon told him well the bible says the angels will protect him or give him the strength to whack them up. They were shocked. They have never met a minister like that. They were curious to know what is the Jesus He knew and He spent time to preach Jesus to them :) Leon loves the one on one where God just brings him into a situation where a miracle is about to take place. HS will look after u. His health and healing and favour is on u. HS doesn't just show u u are righteous and loved. Also reminds u the enemy has been defeated. When people die, whoever owns them comes for them. U will sense and know His presence in the inner man. God wants to use u in a very special way. HS will help u in every area of your life. Don't forget He is there for u. Some miracles are instant and some are recovery - they might not happen right away but will happen over time but the healing has taken place. Amen. :) Leon shares a lady with a lump wasnt healed right away but 9m later it was gone. It shrank slowly every day. A person who was half paralysed felt sad as he didn't get instantly healed. Leon explained recovery to him. Leon asked him to wriggle his toe. He couldn't but now could. There was a lady whose ankle was immobile. As she left the church to go to her car, she stepped down the sidewalk and there was a crack and she got a new ankle joint. Hallelujah!!