#but man I still love Frozen Fever the colors are so pretty

[sparebutton]

Happy Summer Solstice, here’s Anna🌻

[reverieblondie]

now all ive got in my head is fever pushed confessions. like either zev or rolan taking care of tav and tav is just honest saying whatever pops in their head . its mostly nonsense but out of the blue its just this shameless love confession, is decorated with every reason why they adore rolan/zev and a glassy eyed stare

oh, I have thoughts!

So lets start with Rolan, You are just giggling and letting the fever fully take you over as Rolan is trying his best to get your body temperature down. I imagine that Rolan is really good at dealing with sick people because as an older brother when his mom was at work and cal or lia were sick he was the one feeding them soup and giving medicine. He keeps trying to put the rag on you are your just asking him everything you can think of.

"Rolan, what's your favorite color?" "Uh...don't have one? Blue maybe?"

"Rolan, why do you wear your hair like that?" "Well, helps keep the hair out of my eyes." cut to you pulling out the tie and he just sighs and laughs as as your burying your hands in his soft hair.

"You have pretty hair..." "Thank you" "And a pretty face..." Rolan looks at you with a smirk, yeah your fever is bad, "Thank you. Let me get you so medicine."

As Rolan gets up that's when you reach out and grab his robe forcing him to turn back, "What? need something else?" You look at him with all sincerity, "You know I love you right?" Rolans first instinct is to chuckle it off but...your serious... "I- Tav..."

"And its not just because your pretty either... your hard working and kind and you do your best to take care of the people you care about... I even love when your being cocky and suave, then shy and nerdy...I just love every bit of you..." Rolan sits down and carefully cups your cheek, "When your fever breaks, tell all this to me again so I can tell you how much I love you, even when your pestering and playing hero, or even when your acting silly from a fever, I love every part of you. Deal?"

You eagerly nod and Rolan then goes to get your medicine. but as soon as he slips from the room he is leaning against the wall holding his chest, Y-You love him...and your going to confess again... he needs to heal you faster!

Okay now for Zevlor,

Zevlor is not so used to helping sick people but he's not completely lost either. Zevlor has given fed you, wrapped you in blankets and has given you medicine that should sooth your fever and let you rest. Its while he is rising from his chair next to your bed that your meek voice is calling for him, he is immediately at you side ready to run anywhere to get you anything you need.

"Zevlor...I am still so cold..." Zevlor frowns as he presses his hand to your head, "I know Tav I am sorry...but I am out of blankets I could find do you ha-"

"Will you lay with me...please?" Zevlor is frozen...he knows he shouldn't and he's trying to think of an accuse why he shouldn't but he just can't think of one...so he agrees and sides in. Your quick to wrap yourself around his warm body your shivering getting less as he holds you back, albeit timidly.

"Your..so warm.." You say into his chest, Zevlor is trying to to explode, it's not that he hasn't been in a persons bed...but this is you...and its been such a long time, he doesn't want to read into anything... "ha, yeah infernal blood makes me warmer than most, its terrible in the summer months."

This gets a chuckle as you hold him tighter, "I wouldn't mind cuddling you in the summer...I would want to be wrapped in your arms anytime you would let me..." Zevlor is praying you can't hear his racing heart, "I'm sure you would grow tired of something like that."

you laugh, "Why would I get tired being held by the man I love? I love you so much that no matter what i would always want to be in your arms..."

Zevlor holds you tighter, "Y-you love me?"

"Very much..."

Zevlor swallows the lump in his throat before he finds that old confidence he had in his younger years, "Tav, I love you." but all he hears in response is a soft snoring...

he chuckles and places a kiss to your head, vowing to himself to confess to you again when he finally asks you on a date...

Those are my thoughts!

[genshin-impact-writings]

Hi!! May I have a tall cold brew with peppermint syrup and strawberry drizzle for Diluc please?

Hey there! Thank you so much for your request and your patience. I wasn't really sure where I wanted to go with this one and I also had to deal with writer's block while working on this, so I really hope it still came out somewhat okay. Anyways, here's your drink: a tall cold brew with peppermint syrup and some strawberry drizzle on top! <3

Prompts: angst, character A taking care of character B when they’re sick, “You’re so warm.” + “You’re shivering. Here, take my jacket.” (400 followers event: JJ's coffee shop)

Fever – Diluc x gn!reader

Dragonspine was beautiful at this time of the day. The snow glistened in the golden light of the rising sun and the sky was painted in the most gorgeous shades of orange, red and light blue as the stars and the moon slowly faded until, in a couple of hours, the approaching night would bring them out again.

You craned our neck, using your hand to shield your eyes from the sunlight. In the distance, you could see the silhouette of Mondstadt’s cathedral, its stony façade almost glowing in the sunrise. It was a breathtaking sight, and for a few moments, you just stood there and gazed at the town you had grown to love so much that you couldn’t imagine living somewhere else.

The only thing you’d probably never get used to was that damn cold on Dragonspine. Your breath was pluming in the frosty air, and your fingertips already started to feel numb, although you had picked the warmest gloves you owned when you got dressed for your mission.

It wasn’t unusual that the Knights sent someone to Dragonspine to collect their Chief Alchemist’s newest research date, so you came here quite often and knew what expected you but today was the first time that none of the other knights accompanied you. They were all busy with other commissions and while Jean had asked you to postpone your trip, you had insisted to go today. The data was important; the local alchemists needed them as soon as possible, and you really weren’t known for being unreliable. The only problem you had encountered was that no one was allowed to go to Dragonspine alone. The mountain was too dangerous and unpredictable to explore it on one’s own, so Jean had told you that she’d only allow you to go if you found someone to come with you.

With a barely noticeable smile you glanced at the man by your side, his flaming red hair even brighter against the pale, snowy background. It was rare that Diluc agreed to officially help the Knights with their matters but you knew that he could hardly deny you anything – which was probably the only reason why he was here with you now. Maybe he also didn’t want you to go to Dragonspine completely alone but in the end, you didn’t care much about his reasons. All that mattered was that you could collect Albedo’s data without further delays.

“Ready?”

Diluc gazed back at you. “Yes. Let’s get this done.”

In silence, the two of you made your way uphill. You pulled your scarf up higher to keep the lower half of your face warm but against the harsh, cold wind that steadily grew stronger, the fabric didn’t help much. A few minutes on this damn mountain and you were already starting to shiver. No wonder that most people avoided Dragonspine like the plague.

You hunched your shoulders as another gust of freezing cold wind hit you. With a deep sigh, you said, “I don’t understand why Albedo couldn’t have picked a warmer place for his research. I mean, yeah, the landscape is really pretty and I bet there are a lot of things to discover up here but it’s so freaking cold. I really don’t know how he hasn’t frozen to death yet.”

“Don’t ask me,” Diluc replied, watching you from the corner of his eye. It was obvious that you were cold, not just from the way you tried to adjust your scarf to cover more of your face. Your whole posture told him that the cold gave you a hard time today – a lot more than it did usually.

With a frown, he stopped in his tracks. “Wait a second,” he said and took off his coat in one swift movement, handing it to you without any hesitation. “You’re shivering,” he explained when you gave him a questioning look. “Here, take my jacket. I don’t want you to get sick.”

You stared at his coat. “Are you sure?”

Diluc shrugged. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.” A faint smile flashed over his face as you raised your eyebrows and gave him another skeptical look. “Just take it, okay?”

���Thank you,” you mumbled while you slipped on his coat over your own jacket, indulging in his comforting scent that surrounded you immediately and the warmth of the soft fabric. You reached out for his hand, both to thank him once again and to drag him along. “We should hurry to get to Albedo’s base camp. It’s too cold to wander around without a coat – even for you.”

*

Exactly four days later, you knew that it had been a mistake to accept Diluc’s offer. His forehead was covered in cold sweat and he was shivering, despite the pile of blankets you had put over his body to keep him warm. Incoherent mumbles escaped his slightly parted, chapped lips as he tossed and turned in his sleep, suffering from yet another fever dream. It pained you to see him like this, very well aware that it was your fault that he was sick. If you hadn’t taken his jacket, he wouldn’t be in this condition right now.

Barbara had checked on him a couple of hours ago, warning you that it might get worse before he was going to feel better. “His fever is pretty high,” she had said, her hand resting on his forehead. “I can send you some herbs that will help to lower his temperature but other than that, all we can do is wait. But please don’t worry, (Y/N), he will be fine.”

You knew that she was right. After all, Barbara knew exactly what she was talking about when it came to injuries and illnesses, and the medical tea you had prepared following her instructions would surely help him, but still, you couldn’t stop worrying about him. His skin was even paler than usual and even the color of his hair seemed to be duller than normally. He looked absolutely terrible and he probably felt even worse.

“I’m so sorry,” you mumbled and leaned forward to brush a strand of hair out of his face. Beneath your fingertips, his skin felt burning hot and freezing cold at the same time, and you reached out for the damp cloth on the nightstand to gently dab away the sweat on his forehead. “This is all my fault.”

He mumbled something in his sleep again, a painful reminder that he’d contradict you if he were awake, insisting that the only reason for his condition was his own stupidity. And of course, you’d disagree until the conversation resulted in playful bickering.

But he wasn’t awake. And all you could think of was how much it sucked that you could do nothing to make him feel better.

*

A couple of hours later, Diluc finally woke up from his confusing dreams. He still felt like absolute trash, you could see it in his eyes, but somehow, he managed to crack a smile when he spotted you curled up in an armchair right next to the bed.

“Hey,” he mumbled, his voice hoarse and raspy, but it still made a wave of relief wash over you to hear him talk. “Hey yourself,” you replied and closed the book you had been reading half-heartedly over the past few hours before leaning in to put your hand on his forehead. His temperature was still too high but at least, he was awake now. “You’re so warm… How are you feeling?”

With a quiet groan, Diluc closed his eyes again. “Horrible.”

“Do you want some tea? Or a glass of water?”

“No… I think I just want to go back to sleep.”

“Oh. Okay.” Somehow, a part of you had hoped that he would magically feel better as soon as he woke up but of course that had been nothing more than wishful thinking. A cold as severe as his couldn’t be cured by a few hours of restless sleep, so it was completely normal that his body screamed for more resting time. “Do you want me to leave?”

He shook his head.

“Okay,” you repeated. “I’ll stay.”

“Come here,” he mumbled, shifting a bit to make some room for you in the bed. “Please. I don’t want to be alone. Unless,” a coughing fit interrupted him before he could finish his sentence, and he took a deep breath before continuing, “unless you’re afraid to pick up a cold.”

With an indignant huff, you climbed into the bed, draping your arm over the blankets in an attempt to hug him before craning your neck to press a soft kiss to his cheek. “Get some rest,” you told him softly. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Thank you for reading! If you liked it, please consider reblogging. I'd really appreciate the support. <3

Taglist: @blissmal, @aimicoos, @childe-support, @rim0na,@the-gayest-sky-kid

[sincerelyella]

It’s Your Love - happy birthday Burnsy!

Book: The Royal Romance (AU)

Pairings: Drake x OC (Alyssa); Liam x MC (Ella)

Song Inspiration: It’s Your Love by Tim McGraw & Faith Hill

Characters belong to Pixelberry; OC Alyssa Devereaux belongs to my sister @burnsoslow​; Ella Brooks belongs to me.

Summary: The gang coordinates a surprise for Alyssa’s birthday.

A/N: It’s my Burnsy’s birthday and I’m sure everything I’m going to say she already knows! Firstly, I’m so sorry I changed my mind about which AU and which song for this fic like 47545024 million trillion times. Burns just freaking gets me mmkay? She’s my nakie twin, my soul sister, my football bestie and my biggest cheerleader. GUYS! Idk how I could have gotten through this year without her checking in on me, our football conversations or her amazing (and haaawwwwt) fics. Some dialogue in this fic, btw, was taken from a conversation we really had (and as usual, she is hilarious).

Burns, you know that I love you a BUTT TON and I will fight ANYBODY for you (where’s my vaseline?!) Thank you for always being in my corner, for giving me SEVERAL pep talks this year (because I’m dramatic), for believing in me when I sometimes didn’t believe in myself, and for loving me SO HARD. I really hope you have an amazing day and you enjoy your bday dessert and that you like this little fic.

-> please note, this is a rereblog and I am adding this fic to my ML. Today is not actually our sweet Burnsy’s birthday even though we would all like it to be lol

A/N2: This is set in The Loft AU by the way! Check it out here if you haven’t seen these guys’ shenanigans.

Warnings: Adult language, sexual innuendos, and major fluff guys!! The birthday girl wanted to be swooned and I will do my damndest to give her whatever she wants today.

Thank you so much @alyssalauren​ for letting me vent and letting me harass you with my whining … and listening to me change my mind about this for WEEKS - and also prereading for me along with @ofpixelsandscribbles​. I love you guys so much!

Words: 3149 (oops)

Alyssa was not feeling well. The more she coughed, the more she felt like death. “Oh, God, I feel like my brain is going to explode into itty bitty pieces,” she moaned with her arm draped over her face.

Drake bit his lip in an effort to stop a chuckle. She’s so fucking cute, and whiny. But cute. “Baby, it’s just a cold, you’ll be fine.” He slid onto their large king-sized bed and began to rub her lower back.

“It’s not! It’s the plague! Those kids at school don’t cover their mouths and sneeze up into the air! Like, I can see particles of their spit, just wafting,” she complained as she waved her hand in the air, mimicking the particles. “I bet you it landed on me or I inhaled that shit and now, look at me!” Her cute nose was reddened slightly from blowing out copious amounts of snot. She was seriously thinking about shoving some tissue in each nostril just to make sure nothing dripped.

Drake moved his hands upward and massaged her shoulders gently. “I can make you some soup,” he nibbled on her earlobe. “And make you feel … relaxed.”

“Mmmm,” she shivered at his words and sniffled. “Yes, baby, make me feel relaxed!”

A little while later

After Drake’s impressive two hour session of making Alyssa feel better, loud knocks sounded at their bedroom door.

“Lyssa!” Ella bellowed. “Lyss, you’re not answering my phone calls! Are you dead?!”

“No,” she croaked from the bed and stifled a laugh when Drake tripped trying to put on his boxers. “I was just getting my back blown out by my hot boyfriend.”

“Ew, TMI! Okay, are you covered up? I’m coming in!”

“No!” Drake yelled as he hurriedly threw on his pants. “Do not come in here, Brooks! I’m fucking naked!”

“Like I haven’t seen a naked man before,” Ella pushed open the door and rolled her eyes at Drake. “You aren’t even naked, Walker, get a grip.”

“No damn privacy around here,” he grumbled as he looked for a shirt in the closet.

“Hi!” Alyssa called out hoarsely from the bed as she tucked her comforter around her naked body. “I didn’t go to work today, I felt like death was coming for me.”

“I could hear you coughing from the kitchen. So, your blood pressure and that gnarly cough you have are what’s concerning me.”

“Yeah,” Lyss frowned and sniffed. “The cough is rough.”

“And gunky huh? Are you spitting up weird colored stuff?”

“No, it's clear and phlegmy!”

Ella narrowed her eyes on her best friend. “Lyss, did you take your blood pressure today?”

“I … umm no, I don’t like the machine.”

Ella let out a sigh. “You have to babe!”

Lyss’s bottom lip quivered. “I get scared my arm will explode.”

“Lyssa.”

The lip quiver always works with Drake. “… yes?”

“Your arm won’t explode.”

“If it malfunctions it could!”

Ella rubbed her hands over her face. “Alyssa!”

“In one of the Halloween movies, Michael Myers killed someone in the hospital by putting a BP cuff around their neck and pumping it until their head exploded!”

“What the fuck? Okay, no more Halloween movies for you!”

“But-”

“It’s not going to explode, Alyssa. You need to take your blood pressure. Do I have to hogtie you?”

“No ma’am, I’m taller than you!”

“By ½ an inch!”

Ella switched tactics. “If you don’t do this, I’m going to get Drake on you.”

Lyss giggled. “That’s hardly a punishment.”

Ella’s eye twitched and Alyssa held back a laugh.

After another 10 minutes, Alyssa finally agreed to only check her blood pressure if Ella did it for her and Drake had to hold her hand. Once the numbers were acceptable to Ella, Alyssa added to her terms. “Also, I want chicken noodle soup and those little soup crackers” - she sniffled - “and coffee.”

“Why not tea? That’s better I think,” Ella brushed some hair off of her best friend’s forehead.

“Coffee.”

“Cream isn’t a good idea for-”

Drake gave Ella a look.

“I mean … sure!”

“I’ll get started on that, baby,” Drake leaned over to kiss his girlfriend on top of her head. “Be right back.”

Ella waited until he closed the bedroom door behind him. “Lyssa.”

“Hmm?” She was already settled into the fluffy pillow and her eyes fluttered shut.

“Do you have a fever?” Not waiting for an answer, Ella leaned forward and felt Alyssa’s forehead with the back of her hand.

“Nu-uh,” Lyss mumbled and coughed.

“Lyss?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t you want to put on some clothes?”

“Mmm, nope, I’m good naked.”

Ella chuckled. “Okay.”

She stood and left Lyss alone to rest. Ella wandered into the kitchen to find Liam and Drake as they stared into a large pot of broth.

“Is she asleep?” Drake asked while he stirred.

“Yep, she’s passed out,” Ella peered into the pot. “You need to add more onions.”

Drake tasted the broth again and shrugged. “Okay, more onions it is.”

Liam handed Drake the bowl of green onions. “So, what do you have planned for her birthday? Are you proposing yet?”

“I had planned to take her to the park and have a picnic,” Drake paused as he tasted the broth again from the ladle. “But seeing as how she’s not wanting to leave the bedroom, I might have to rethink my plan.”

“Hmmm,” Liam tapped his fingers over his mouth. “Why don’t you just have a picnic in the bedroom with her?”

“I guess,” Drake frowned. “That’s not very romantic.”

“You’re trying to be romantic, Walker?” Leo said as he walked into the kitchen with Maxwell with several bags from Nordstrom.

“Yeah, I am, if you must know.”

“I can help you out!” Leo’s wide grin made Drake narrow his eyes.

“What’s in it for you, Rys?”

“Oh, I just love helping my friends! Let me put all my stuff down in the bedroom, I’ll be right back.”

As soon as Leo was out of earshot, Drake hissed. “I don’t trust him!”

“I know,” Max replied. “It’s Leo we’re talking about. After he saw the movie Titanic he started the Billy Zane fan club.”

Ella stopped washing the dishes in the sink and turned. “Wait, what?!”

“Yeah,” Liam added. “Look it up, they’re called the Zaniacs.”

“Why does that make me angrier than anything he’s ever done?!”

Liam shrugged. “He also roots for Billy Zabka’s character in The Karate Kid.”

“Alright, guys! It’s romance time!” Leo announced as he came back to the kitchen.

Three days later

Leo, Maxwell, and Liam were busy setting up things for Drake and Alyssa’s outing at the beach.

“Why is Ella not helping us?” Maxwell huffed as he and Leo carried large boxes of twinkling lights.

“She’s here for Lyss, and to make sure Walker doesn’t sweat too much and get dehydrated,” Leo laughed as all three looked at Drake in the kitchen pacing back and forth.

“Fuck you guys,” his chocolate brown hair a mess after running his fingers through them more times than he can count. “I’m just … nervous.”

“Yeah, we can see that,“ Leo cackled as they walked out into the hallway and waited for the elevator.

“It’s going to work,” Liam reassured his best friend as he grabbed the guitar by the door and followed Max and Leo out.

“Drake, it’s going to be fine,” Ella put her hands on his shoulders to stop him from wandering around the kitchen; it was making her dizzy. “Liam is the King of Romance. Don’t listen to Leo, Alyssa is going to say yes.”

“How do you know that?” He began to babble and couldn’t stop himself. “What if this is too soon? What if she hates my singing? What if she says no?”

“You should be worried about whether she’ll get out of bed,” Ella looked towards the bedroom door.

“Oh my God, is she still in bed?!” He inhaled too quickly and began to cough.

“Okay, Walker, I was kidding. You know she adores you. She said ‘I love you’ first for crying out loud,” she gave him a concerned look. “Are you getting sick?”

“No, I don’t … get sick,” he sputtered as he continued to cough.

“Well you are pretty delicate, maybe you should slow down.”

He waved off her comment as his coughs began to dissipate. “I’m not delicate, I’m just” - he lowered his voice to a whisper yell - “proposing to my girlfriend and I don’t even know if she’s going to like this damn plan!”

Ella rolled her eyes. “Okay, so let’s just forget that you got sick watching Frozen.”

Drake glared. “No. I did not.”

“You also got a nosebleed watching Up,” she smirked.

“Oh my God, will you ever let that go?!”

Ella let out a chuckle. “Okay, fine then, why don’t you go and take a shower?”

“I already did,” Drake looked down at his sweat-stained shirt.

“Yeah, why don’t you go and take another one.”

He nodded. “Be right back.”

30 minutes later

“El! I need help!”

“Lyssa? What’s wrong?” Ella let herself into the bedroom Alyssa and Drake shared.

“My sinuses hurt and I dropped my dress and my book on the floor.”

“Okay?”

“Can you pick it up for me? It hurts to bend over.”

Ella hid a smile and bent to pick up Alyssa’s black dress and her book titled Remember Two Things. “I’ve been meaning to read this, how is it so far?”

“Oh it is so good,” Lyss put the book on her nightstand and pulled the dress over her head. “I’m at chapter 18 and these two have been in love since college-”

“No spoilers! I’m going to read it after you,” Ella found Lyss’ shoes under the bed and helped her put them on. “You take that medication I gave you?”

“The pill was too big.”

“Alyssa!”

“I’m kidding, yes, I took it,” she dimpled. “It was a gel capsule.”

Ella let out a sigh of relief. “Okay, good. You don’t need your sinuses to act up while you’re out.”

“Where is he taking me?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“Why?”

“You know why.”

Alyssa pouted. “No, I don’t.”

Drake appeared in the doorway with a brand new shirt that was miraculously dry. “Ready baby?”

“Yeah, I’m ready,” she stood and wrapped her arms around her best friend. “Thank you for helping me!”

Ella shooed the couple out the door and quickly called Liam to let them know they were on their way.

***

“Baby, why did you take another shower?” Alyssa eyed Drake’s damp hair.

“I … slipped in something Max spilled on the floor in the kitchen.” Fuck, I suck at lying.

“Oh,” Lyss chewed on her bottom lip and studied Drake’s side profile as he drove his truck through the streets of Los Angeles. “I was thinking … you’ve taken such good care of me while I’ve been whiny and sick and I wanted to thank you.”

“Of course, I care about you.”

“I love you, baby, I feel like we’re so good together.”

“We are, Lyss, I love you too,” he reached over and intertwined his fingers with hers.

Drake slowly pulled the truck into a parking spot and turned off the engine. “Come on, I have something I want to show you.”

Alyssa nodded. She hopped out of the car and took Drake’s outstretched hand as he led her into a walkway with arching shrubs above them. “What is this place?”

“It used to be a secret spot I went to when I was single,” he glanced down at her while she stared up at the greenery in awe. “I would just come down here to be alone.”

Suddenly, the archway lit up in thousands of little twinkling lights that illuminated their way down to the end of the walkway. “Oh my God,” Alyssa squealed. “I love this so much, it’s beautiful!” They came to the end of the lights and began to walk onto sand.

“Only a little bit further,” Drake mumbled as he took in the ocean, then focused his gaze on the large purple blanket that was sprawled out on the sand a few yards in front of them.

“What’s that?”

“It’s a little picnic the guys set up for us,” he gave Alyssa a nervous smile. “Are you hungry?”

“Yes! What’s for dinner?”

“Taco pizza and for dessert,” Drake excitedly climbed onto the blanket after removing his shoes. “S’mores brownie pie.”

“S’mores?!” Alyssa peeked into the large basket that held the pie. “Can we eat dessert first?”

Drake let out a loud laugh. “Whatever you want, baby it’s your birthday.”

Lyss opened the box where the taco pizza sat and she inhaled deeply. “Oh, no, we’re eating this first.” She grabbed a plate and separated two pieces, one for her, one for Drake.

“Thank you.”

They settled into a comfortable silence as they watched the waves cascade over the sand; the sun was slowly fading, disappearing behind the ocean, leaving its yellow-orange coloring over the blue hue of the water. Alyssa was sitting in between Drake’s legs, her back against his chest.

“This hit the spot,” she patted her stomach. “Taco pizza just like in Remember Two Things.”

“That’s where I got the idea from,” he kissed her on top of her head. “You told me how taco pizza sounded amazing and I had to get that for you.”

“You are amazing,” she leaned her head back and touched her lips to his. “Is that a guitar? Why didn’t I notice that before?”

Drake’s face turned a bright shade of red. “Uh, yeah, I had Liam bring his guitar out here.”

“Do you” - she pulled away from him and turned all the way around with widened eyes - “do you play guitar, baby?”

He nervously scratched the back of his neck. “I … Well, sort of. Liam taught me when we were teenagers.”

“That is so hot,” Lyss mumbled and she bit her bottom lip. “Will you play for me?”

Drake nodded. “Hopefully I’m not too rusty, it’s been years.”

“I know I will love it.”

Drake picked up the acoustic guitar behind him and began to tune it. His eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he went through each string and turned the knobs in turn. Alyssa watched as he dug into his jean pocket and pulled out a guitar pick. How is a man with a guitar so sexy?

“Here goes nothing.”

He strummed the guitar and smiled when it didn’t sound off-key. He took in a deep breath and began to sing.

Dancing in the dark, Middle of the night

Taking your heart, And holding it tight

Emotional touch, Touching my skin

And askin' you to do, What you've been doing

All over again

Alyssa was taken aback. She had no idea he played guitar or sang a note until today. Drake Walker singing country music just did something to her; not to mention the fact that she loved this song.

Oh, it's a beautiful thing, Don't think I can keep it all in

I just gotta let you know, What it is that won't let me go

She couldn’t stop herself, she started to sing along with him. It was a duet anyway.

It's your love, It just does something to me

It sends a shock right through me, I can't get enough

And if you wonder, About the spell I'm under

Oh it's your love

Their eyes were locked as they sang together. Alyssa harmonizing with him made his stomach do flip flops. He was a nervous wreck just thinking about singing and playing this damn guitar in front of her. But once she started to sing, he wanted to stop so he could hear her angelic voice instead of his rough one.

“Drake?”

Her voice pulled him out of his thoughts. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize I stopped.”

“That was so beautiful,” Lyss’ eyes were full of unshed tears. “I had no idea you could sing, baby.”

“I’m sorry I stopped, I wanted to hear your voice instead of mine.”

“Come on, let’s keep going!”

“I … I wanted to ask you something first.”

“Okay, what’s up?”

He set the guitar down on the blanket next to him and reached into his other pocket. “Lyssa,” he pulled out a black velvet box but didn’t open his hand just yet. “I wanted to make your birthday special, and I was so fucking nervous because I didn’t know if you’d like all this.”

“Anything we do together I love, baby,” she grasped his free hand with both of hers. “Don’t ever think I won’t like something you plan for us.”

Drake nodded. “I love you and I chose that song because it’s your love that keeps me wanting to wake up every morning,” he opened his left hand and she saw the box in his hand.

“Is that …”

“Alyssa Devereaux,” Drake opened the ring box and there sat three round diamonds on a gold setting. “Will you marry me?”

The tears were falling and one hand was clamped over her mouth in shock. She was crying so hard and overwhelmed with so much emotion that she struggled to speak. “Y-yes, Drake, yes!”

Drake’s entire face lit up at her words; he slid the ring on her finger and leaned over to kiss her. “Do you have any idea how happy you’ve made me?”

Cheers erupted from behind some bushes behind them, and the couple turned in surprise. Leo, Maxwell, Liam, and Ella jumped out, all with their phone cameras pointed in Drake and Lyss’s direction.

Drake scowled. “What the fuck?”

“Guys!” Alyssa jumped up and waved her left hand in the air. “We’re engaged!” Ella pulled her in for a big hug and the two of them began jumping up and down.

“Nice going, Walker,” Leo smirked as he shoved the last piece of taco pizza in his mouth. “You still sing real pretty too, just like in middle school.”

“Fuck off, Rys,” Drake snarled.

“You did good, brother,” Liam stepped forward and pulled his best friend in for a manly hug.

Drake gave him a half-smile. “Thanks for setting this up, and for all your help, Li. I know Twiddle-Dumb and Twiddle-Dee didn’t help much.”

Liam shrugged. “They picked up your pizza and pie. Got one for themselves while we were waiting for you to pop the question.”

“Taco pizza is the bomb,” Maxwell announced with a mouth full of food. “You guys are engaged! When’s the wedding?!”

“We’re still on cloud nine from being engaged, Max,” Alyssa chuckled. “We’ll all plan it out when we’re ready.”

“All of them?” Drake asked incredulously as the gang began to clean up the picnic area. “All of them are helping us plan?”

“You’re stuck with us forever, gorgeous,” Leo called out to Lyss. “You sure that’s what you want?”

Alyssa looked over at her fiancé, who just so happened to look at her. “I am so sure.”

[themilky-way]

like water {din djarin}

gif credit: no-droids

pairing: the mandalorian/din djarin x fem!reader

summary: when the one person he cares about is threatened, he lets himself indulge in the aftermath of defending them. 

warnings: some violence in the beginning, choking (not in the fun way), depictions of scratches, punches, and minor abrasions; the reader is hurt basically. oh and mando’s gun bc yeah❤️umm that’s it i think? nothing too horrible tho but if this thing triggers you, please don’t read !!

author’s note: not to be conceited or anything (is that even the right word for it lol?) but im super proud of how this turned out! requests are open btw for anyone who wishes to submit anything (if unsure, just ask which fandoms)!

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cyar’ika-> darling, sweetheart

nothing in that exact moment had made much sense. one minute the most precious thing to ever exist to him was snatched away, and the next his hands were gripping the treasure beneath his holster. his knuckles were lily-white at this point, holding the gun as hard as his body would allow him to without crushing underneath him, and the urge to cock it made him visibly shake. he’d been given a command, and out of all the merciless men in the filthy galaxy, he needed to follow it, so his weapon of preference stayed where it needed to. 

the meager specks of emotion that still lived within him betrayed his prominent composure, the view in front of him blocked by the sudden glaze of his eyes. the small drops of saltwater puddled together in his now hazy orbs, holding on until it was nearly impossible to stay put and then rivered down his cheeks. the cause? well, you.

you were filling up the mandalorian’s line of vision, his eyes darting between you and the bounty that had gone wrong. an alienated hand was wrapped around your innocent throat, your feeble hands wrapped around its wrist in a dumb attempt to break free. the ground you were roaming on before appeared to be never ending, and in the same way, the darkened sky absorbed you whole. vertigo was now in full effect; any quick movement caused you to shut your eyes tightly and hope to the maker you’d get through it. it took a few seconds for you to regain your balance, a sharp pain pinging around your neck forcing you to find it. you half expected to be back on the mud again, to have the man you had spent the past year flying around with pulling you to safety. instead, you found din frozen in place, an instinctive action rooted in the steel handle of his pistol. he wasn’t moving, too scared to blink as if you’d disappear if he did. 

perhaps you were; someone like you seemed too good to be true. in all actuality, it may be that you were a fever dream, a celestial that had come down from the sanctity of your home to finally rescue him from his burdens. amidst his frantic glances, he reminisced every second he’d spent with you since your unforeseen arrival, and that somehow worked for him. the gears in his brain started to turn again, and with every ounce of his strength, he pounced on the quarry and did what he should’ve done the instant you were taken from him. anger took over his worry, the effects illustrating themselves in a collage of mitted fists and blood. the pistol residing on din’s waist was useless compared to his hits; the softened position of his jawbone was locked firmly as a result of his gritted teeth and he was going to need more than your delicate hand on his shoulders to ground his senses. 

the mandalorian never expected to succumb to anyone, nor to feel remotely joyful upon hearing someone’s laugh. the idea of kindling a relationship was ludicrous, utterly impossible if only he weren’t bound to the chains of his creed. oftentimes, he wondered if someone would one day traverse his path and make him question every moral he’d been taught. din had dismissed the thought, as any other member of his intricate society would have, but the wondrous insight depicting a different lifestyle always lingered faintly in his mind. 

today, the very same visions behind his recurrent insomnia framed themselves in a frail art piece. din’s focus laid directly ahead, the fingers navigating the center controls as tight as they’d been on his gun. his eyes deserved to rest, perhaps take in the splashes of color nature was offering him, but he landed them on the same lovely sculpture adorning his cockpit. 

you were seated in the chair adjacent from the pilot’s, with your knees closely tucked to your chest. one large scrape designed itself on your leg-a dull reminder of the ordeal you were involved in hours earlier-with flakes of arid blood protecting the wound. bouncing off the skin of your throat were shades of red and purple, now properly mixing into a deeper complexion that’d require you to hide it for some time. besides the scattered nicks living on your face, and the other couple dozen on your arms and legs, the outcome wasn’t as terrible as the one your attacker received. it was a rule of thumb to not mess with a mandalorian, much less with the pretty little lady clutching his arm as if it were second nature. the foolest of fools wouldn’t even have done such a foul thing, and this particular creature came to know the punishment for harming what wasn’t rightfully his. 

it truly amazed him; the way you seemed to be so unphased by a traumatic circumstance. the woman beside him-the same one who couldn’t sleep unless a window was open-had endured pain, and the marks on her skin proved themselves in jagged indications of it. through the darkened screen of his visor, din could make out your hands neatly intertwined around your folded knees, your chin simultaneously resting on top. you’d been as observant as you always were, hardly missing his actions as he navigated his newfound family to a safe stop. sure, you were unaware of the loving term he considered of you and the baby, but it didn’t hurt to keep it a secret, right?

“hey.” it came out more hoarse than he intended it to, but the emotion behind it flowed out nonetheless. “you okay?”

not really. i don’t feel good. it was easy to say exactly that, to speak the truth, but it was even easier to lie. for the sake of his own worry, at most. your eyes were still glued to his armor, taking in the rough outline of where you imagined his skin would be underneath, or moreso the abstract idea of feeling it with your hands. reflections of your yearning came and went like the mandalorian’s missions, almost impulsively at times, and the curious, teasing tilts his helmet would bid you only encouraged that craving. much like now; the black “T” of his expressionless face leaned to the side, asking you to earnestly respond. “mm, yeah. ‘m kinda tired, though,” you mumbled.

you threw him a lie and he caught it. “don’t lie to me.” din swiveled his chair to accordingly match the peripheral of yours, his elbows coming to rest on top of his beskar-clad legs. “can you look at me?” he inquired softly. then, his intent fell on the slow shift of your head and how it turned to face him, your cheek settling on your unscathed knee. a breath fell from his lips at the doting admiration swimming in your stare. “there she is,” he confirmed with an upward curl of his lips. “is there anything i can do?” it was sincere; a genuine concern to accompany his question. you hummed in response, fearful to accidentally voice the confessions you hid from him. you blinked once, twice, until his question became a plea. “please, cyar’ika.”

reasonably, you were too busy exploring the shape of his helmet, permitting your creative imagination to paint images of the man next to you; so when your ears perceived his sudden name of endearment, there was nothing amongst the stars that you could’ve possibly denied him from. “you’ve never called me that before,” you smiled, all big and brilliant. 

“i’ve wanted to,” the man replied. what resembled ages of pent up stress released with a few curated words. his muscles relaxed, something he never believed to be attainable given his vigorous profession. “god, i’ve wanted to.” 

he followed it with a humble laugh. a sound so familiar and warm, so genuine that it empowered your grin to spread higher. “by all means, keep saying it.” now it was your turn to nervously giggle, and him who embraced the noise with everything he could. a mutual infatuation, so wonderfully obvious, yet it was refused acknowledgment. “i think there is something you can do, though.” silence advised you to continue, “can i sleep with you tonight?” 

the misguided pieces of your minds’, maybe even your souls’, reattached themselves that very same night. as the both of you slept, hands, calloused and smooth, intimately merged against the cushions of the warrior’s bed. tender kisses planted to your forehead left electricity in their wake, and the dark ambiance of his dwelling favored the entanglement of your tired bodies. 

“i wish i could see you, din,” you sighed. the manner in which it was expressed, full of sleep and everything akin, urged him to lift your weightless wrist to his lips. 

“you’ll get to one day, cyar’ika. for now just let me hold you, yeah?”

[yungidreamer]

Memories

Summary: After the night camping by the lake, Yunho, Mingi and their girl take an afternoon away to themselves and make some beautiful memories together.

Wordcount: 6.2k

Content warnings: Smut, lots of intimate smut, fully consensual exhibitionism and voyeurism, making personal amateur porn, body worship, neediness, impregnation kink, but all mostly just the trio making up for lost time over the summer. Oh and a flower crown.

“There,” Yunho remarked proudly as he finished smoothing out the picnic blanket in the dappled shade of the tree on the edge of the meadow. “Perfect.”

“Yep,” she agreed, slipping off her shoes and settling down towards the side deepest in the shade. “Now I can work on this.” She set the basket of flowers she had gathered beside her, digging down to find the round frame she had kept tucked under the towel lining the basket.

“I was wondering what it is you were doing collecting all those flowers on the way,” Mingi laughed, stretching out beside her.

“Mmm, I’m going to make myself pretty today,” She gave a decided little nod.

“You’re always pretty, love,” Yunho slipped in and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek.

“As long as you think so,” she chuckled and started pulling a few blooms out of the pile.

“Hey babe,” Yunho began, directing his question to the other boy. “Do you need something to eat or drink? The hike was pretty long and you didn’t drink a lot on the way.”

“Oh yeah,” Mingi nodded, propping himself up on one elbow. “That would be good I think. Maybe just some water?”

“Sure thing,” Yunho dug into the backpack he had been carrying and pulled out a bottle of water with a large chunk of ice still frozen in the center. Yunho held it slightly out to him, but pulled it back a little when Mingi reached for it, “Kiss for my troubles?”

“Mmm deal,” Mingi laughed, sitting up to pull Yunho’s lips to his own before taking the bottle of the water. Yunho let out a chuckle as the other boy took the bottle and pulled away, a blush on his cheeks and the tips of his ears. Behind them she smiled at the both of them, continuing to weave the flower stems into the frame.

“Umm,” Mingi closed the lid on the water, setting it on the blanket beside him. “Did anyone else think our girl’s dad was acting a little funny this morning?”

“Yeah,” Yunho gave a barking laugh. “I’m okay with the whole son thing, I just wish I knew where it was coming from all of a sudden.”

“As if that was the weirdest thing,” she commented, keeping her eyes on her work while they widened at the mere memory of the discussion she had with him.

“You know it was pretty nice with a quiet house last night,” her father said after clearing his throat. “Why don’t you guys camp out for a few more nights out there. Besides, I’m sure Alex would enjoy spending a little more time with people their own age.” He took a deep breath before he could bring himself to make the last suggestion. “I noticed that San and Alex have taken an interest in each other. Maybe they could spend a little time by themselves and you could take the boys out for a hike or something. You could even stay in the tent with them, since you live together and all. I’m sure you’re used to their snoring or whatever.”

“Okay sure,” she had said after a second of looking at the man she would have sworn must be a replicant who had replaced her father without anyone noticing. “We were thinking of doing a picnic today anyway.”

“Good, good,” her father had said with a bracing sigh. “Gotta have all my sons able to be happy and healthy outdoorsmen. Mingi got a late start, so you might have to help him out a little more.”

Sons, she had mouthed to herself as she watched her father walk away. Part of her had wanted to catch him, turn him around, check that he didn’t have a fever or some evidence of a concussion. But the rest of her knew it was wise not to look this gift horse in the mouth.

“What do you mean?” Mingi asked, still nervously stuck on the whole son thing.

“I mean he basically said I should stay in the tent with you two,” she blinked quickly even at the memory, trying to make sense of it.

“Really?” Yunho choked slightly on the sip of drink he had been taking.

“Don’t ask me to explain it,” she shook her head. “I’m just not going to ask too many questions. He really seems to be pulling for Alex and San, too, which I will not complain about.”

“Yeah I won’t rock any boat that lets me sleep beside you,” Mingi admitted, moving to rest his head on the side of her thigh.

“Me neither,” she smiled down at him, brushing her thumb over his cheek. “I’m just on my toes waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

“Yeah,” Yunho nodded, looking out at the field beside them. They fell into a comfortable silence as she made her flower crown and the boys relaxed in the shade as the heat of the day worked on them. A light breeze fluttered the leaves of the tree above them, making the dappled shade dance and twinkle. Mingi closed his eyes, listening to the birds and their girl hum gently as she worked.

Yunho watched the two of them, feeling joy and peace settle in his heart at the happy relaxation that suffused the other boy. With as needy and tense as he had been the past few days, it pleased him to no end seeing him so relaxed and happy. She looked content too, happy to be working on her project and happy to be there with the two of them. Wanting to hold onto that moment, Yunho pulled out his phone and snapped a quick picture of the two of them.

“You could at least have waited until I was done,” she chuckled, rolling her eyes at him.

“I can always take one when you are done too,” He laughed back. “You look so cute working on it, I couldn’t resist.”

“I’ll look even cuter when I can put it on,” she straightened up and flashed him a wide grin.

“Impossible,” he shook his head and gave a mouth covered giggle. “You can’t possibly look cuter than you already do.”

“As long as you think so,” she shook her head, turning her attention back to the project in her hands.

“You really do look so cute when you are concentrating on something,” Mingi told her looking up at her from where he lay beside her.

“Do I?” She grinned at him, wrinkling her nose.

“I like when you start to squint a little when something isn’t working quite right,” he grinned. “Your lips do this little duck thing too.”

“Well now I feel like I’m just being watched,” she frowned and put her hands on her hips.

“You are,” Yunho teased. “As the prettiest thing in the forest and even this meadow filled with wildflowers, you can’t expect us to want to watch anything else.”

“You sir, are far too comfortable with that ridiculous flattery,” she waved the half finished crown in his direction. “Besides, look at our Mingi here. Doesn’t he look temping all stretched out there on the blanket.”

“You know, you’re right,” Yunho agreed. “He really does look lovely lying there.” He began crawling over to the other boy on his hands and knees. “I think he needs a little attention there.”

Mingi perked up, smiling at the other boy as he crawled over to him. “Yes, Mingi wants cuddles.”

“Yeah?” Yunho teased, laying on his side beside him, leaning over him on one elbow. “How about a few kisses?”

“Mmmm please,” he blushed and leaned toward him. Yunho cupped his cheek and brought their lips together in a soft press of lips. Mingi sighed and nuzzled into the kiss, letting his eyes drift closed. She looked down at her boys for a moment as they melted into one another. Giving them a little smile, she let them have their moment and went back to the crown in her hands.

She happily worked as the two boys beside her slowly explored each other, starting with soft, adoring kisses that slowly built in need as hands wandered over one another. Both of them enjoyed this moment of carefree enjoyment they could take from this unobserved moment. Eventually Mingi’s hands found their way under the white fabric of Yunho’s t-shirt, teasing along the line of his ribs. Yunho’s free hand, not propping himself up, found itself happily gripping the curve where Mingi’s hip melded into his butt.

“There,” she declared, having filled the frame with a burst of colorful flowers. “Isn’t it beautiful?” As she asked the question, she placed the crown on her head, a proud look on her face.

“You are,” Mingi commented adoringly. She looked at him with humor in her eyes and a smile on the lips she brought down to brush his.

“Our girl is so beautiful with the flowers in her hair,” Yunho commented, tucking a curl of hair behind her ear. “She might even look better if she just had the flowers on. What do you think, Mingles?”

Mingi nodded, making a flustered sort of sound at the idea. “She would be so pretty.”

“Is that a hint?” She let out a joyful laugh, clutching the neckline of her sundress teasingly.

“Yes,” Yunho grinned and blushed, looking up at her as he ran his hand over Mingi’s lower ribs. Mingi nodded in agreement as well, even while his hands continued to wander over Yunho’s warm skin.

“Yeah?” She flicked one button open and waggled her eyebrows at them. Yunho’s lips made a little O as his eyes followed her fingers. She giggled, enjoying the two pairs of hungry and adoring eyes on her. With a grin she gave both the boys her back, eliciting a sound of protest from Mingi, until she sent a little wink over her shoulder. Slipping her arms into the loose garment she unfastened her bra and slipped it out the sleeve, tossing it toward the boys with a giggle.

Yunho sat up straddling the other boy's narrow hips as he pulled out his phone again. He snapped another picture as she slid the dress off her shoulders and bearing her back to them in the dappled light of the shade. Her skin glowed in the bright light of the summer day as she slowly revealed more of it until her whole upper body was revealed. Covering her breasts with her arms, she half turned to face them, the dress pooling around her waist, she sent them an inviting look.

“You like what you see?” She questioned with a teasing tone. “Want to see more?”

“Please,” Mingi nodded with pleading eyes.

“Have you missed getting to see me?” She tutted with sympathy.

“So much,” Yunho confirmed, clicking a few more pictures of her as he did.

“My poor babies,” she shook her head, drawing up onto her knees and letting the sundress slide down her legs leaving her mostly in her panties. Pulling the dress off completely, she piled it on the corner of the blanket across from them before kneeling again, this time facing them. She cupped her breasts, presenting them to them, a blush rising on her cheeks at the hungry looks she was getting from them.

Mingi pulled himself up and slid out from under the other boy, not able to resist the tempting presentation. Yunho moved to let him go to her, sure that whatever Mingi had in mind would be something worth capturing. Crawling up beside her, he replaced her hands with his, watching the soft flesh fill and squish in his fingers. A pleased and contented smile spread across his face as he watched his hands work on her.

“Do they feel nice, love?” Yunho asked him, getting a nod in return. “Would you like to taste them?” Mingi nodded again, giving Yunho a happy look, waiting for permission. “Go ahead.”

Joy flushed his face as Mingi moved to lay in her lap as she moved to sit in such a way to allow him to put his head in her lap. It was one of his favorite positions, his head resting on her thighs as he looked up at her or nuzzled his face into the breasts above him. It was a place that made him feel safe and happy. She smiled down at him, caressing his cheek as she looked into his face.

“My Mingi,” she cooed at him. “I’ve missed you like this.” With one hand she lifted her breast, bringing the nipple to brush over his pillowy lips. Opening his mouth, he sucked the soft flesh in, locking his lips around the nub. A shiver went through her at the feel as she watched his eye close and complete relaxation flow over his face.

“My love,” she whispered to him, running the pad of her thumb over his cheekbone as she cradled his head. He let out a happy huff and nuzzled further into her breast.

“You look so pretty holding him against you,” Yunho praised.

“He’s so handsome,” she smiled down at him and his happily closed eyes as he tugged gently at her stiffening nipple. “Come and look at how cute he looks like this.” Yunho took the invitation, moving closer so he could see the expression on the other boy’s face. As she cradled his head with one arm, she used the other hand to cup his cheek and stroke his face and neck soothingly. Mingi’s upper arm curled around her waist, splaying against her back as he held her close.

Yunho took a few pictures focusing on the soft roundness of her breast and the expression on Mingi’s face as he licked and sucked and nuzzled at her. He could feel himself getting hard in the confines of his jeans, considering undoing them and slipping them off, but deciding to force himself to be patient and wait. One hand instead slipped down over Mingi’s stomach and down to cup his crotch, gently kneading the nearly hard length of his manhood. Mingi let out a whimper, his hand pressing into her back.

“Is our Mingi so needy?” Yunho teased, palming him before his fingers went to the other boy’s waistband.

“Please,” he pulled back enough to plead.

“Should I touch him,” Yunho asked her, as he leaned his head on her shoulder.

“You should,” she nodded. “He has been such a good boy for us.”

“He has, hasn’t he?” He smiled down at the other boy as his fingers undid the button to Mingi’s jeans. “He deserves a reward.” Sliding his hand in the waistband of Mingi’s pants and underwear, he grasped his length, tenderly caressing it.

Mingi let his eyes close, taking her nipple back into his mouth as he bucked his hips into Yunho’s warm hand. Pleasure suffused him at their touch. He loved being loved and doted on by them. They were the center of his world and nothing was more satisfying than feeling the same from them. Even if he knew intellectually it was true, it was so easy for his heart to forget. Holding her with one arm, he let his other hand go down to guide Yunho’s movements.

All too soon impatience overwhelmed him and he wanted more. With a frustrated huff he sat up, his hands moving to the fastenings of his clothes. They were in the way and he wanted them gone. Yunho chuckled as his hand was pulled away in the other boy’s desperation to rid himself of his clothing. Giving her cheek a quick and gentle kiss, he sat back and pulled out his camera again wanting to capture whatever was coming next.

As he stripped off the last of his clothes, Mingi crashed his over eager lips into hers with an adorable clumsiness. She caught his face, holding it steady and bringing her lips to his again tenderly. Mingi sighed, slipping his pants off his feet and tossing them to the side before coming to his knees and leaning in to press warm kisses to her face. She giggled at his enthusiastic kisses, running her fingers through his hair as she cupped the back of his head.

“Are you going to make love to our girl?” Yunho prompted sitting back to give them space.

“Yes,” Mingi panted between kisses. “I want to show her how much I need her.”

“Have you missed her?” Yunho asked as he watched Mingi guide her to lie down on the soft blanket.

Mmm, Mingi nodded, a slight pout poking out his bottom lip as his eyes stayed glued on his hands that were pulling off her panties. She lifted her hips to help him as she put her hands up above her head, patiently waiting for him and the barely controlled desire that rolled off him almost tangibly. Mingi tossed her underwear somewhere behind him, not caring where they ended up at this point, his mind was occupied with their girl, laid out so temptingly before him. Reverently he brushed his fingertips over the curves of her ribs and hips. In the glittering sunlight he could make out the little imperfections of her body. Well, he knew that is what she would call them. Little pale marks on her lower stomach, hips and thighs stuck out slightly on the surface of her skin. Stretch marks from where her body had grown to have the curves and shape he loved so much.

She squirmed slightly under his gaze, a little out of practice at being so closely observed. Heat rose on her cheeks and over her chest and she brought her hands up to cover her breasts. Umm-mmm, Mingi shook his head, catching her wrists and guiding her hands up above her head. I want to look, he said with his body, choosing not to say a word. His fingers moved up to her breasts, squeezing them lightly, letting her nipple slip into the space between his first and second fingers, pert and tight.

Yunho watched as Mingi explored her as he knelt between her thighs, his quiet worship of her body. If there was anything Mingi was good at, it was reminding him to appreciate the little things, to say I love you whenever it crossed your mind… to love with abandon. He clicked pictures, following the path of Mingi’s hands, capturing the look of adoration on Mingi’s face as he gazed at her.

“Are you going to fill her up?” Yunho asked. Mingi nodded, not looking away but his eyes scrunching happily as he continued to look at her. She moved her hands again, this time reaching for him, looping her hands around the back of his neck and bringing him down to her. Mingi happily stretched himself out over her body, covering her much smaller one with his own. Yunho loved the way she seemed to disappear under either of them. She slipped her arms under his armpits, pulling his long lean body against her.

“I love you, my Mingles,” she murmured against his cheek. His lips found hers as he rubbed the tip of his erection against the slickness between her legs. Arching his back, he slid inside her slightly running his chest against her. Yunho admired the look of satisfaction that bordered on relief that crossed Mingi’s face. He was so easy to read and so easy to please.

“Please come inside me,” she begged him softly. “I’m so empty without you.”

“You always look so good under me,” He praised, hands framing her face as he looked down at her. She hooked her legs around his hips and ran her feet against the back of his leg. He slid his body up, sheathing himself inside her. She let out a happy sigh and he pressed a kiss to her forehead as a breeze tickled across both of their skin. The summer was hot and a sheen of sweat was starting to cover their skin even before they started moving.

Mingi pressed his forehead into the blanket near her head and started moving his hips and she arched against him to find just the right angle. Her hands wandered over his back holding him close and feeling his muscles flex as he moved.

There was something that felt oddly forbidden about just watching and trying to capture them and how they moved together. Usually he would be in the middle of it with them, touching and encouraging them. This was different and he suddenly felt like a voyeur and he liked it a little. It was rare for anything to just be two of them, not because of jealousy but just because that is how it always had been. Maybe there were still things to try, he thought to himself as he gave up and switched to trying to capture them on video instead. He would want to remember the bliss on her face and the way Mingi’s muscles moved when he flexed.

Mingi kept his eyes closed, throwing himself into the feeling of being inside her. Sex in the middle of a meadow in the middle of the wilderness hadn’t been a fantasy of his before, but here with the smell of the grass and the soil as the breeze teased across them and through the leaves overhead, he had to admit, this was something he would remember.

The soft intimacy of the moment filled him and all too soon he found himself quivering as he spilled himself inside her body. He murmured an apology as he lay over her catching his breath and she responded by pressing a kiss to the side of his neck. It was fine, she promised, running her fingertips up his spine as she felt his heart thudding against her chest. It felt good just to be close to him, she soothed.

He pulled himself out slowly sending a shiver through her. His lips found her temple and he began moving his lips down her face, then neck, then down the centerline of her chest and stomach.

“I want to make you feel good too,” he said as he came to rest his head on the inside of her thigh. “Can I taste you… and me too?”

“Yes baby,” she agreed. “You can.” Mingi ran his lips over the slick mess of the juncture of her thighs tasting the salty mix of both their fluids. He kissed her lips there and ran the tip of his tongue up along her slit, his eyes watched her over the line of her body. Testing the tip of his tongue with a flick over her clit, he gaged her reaction. She moaned and shifted her hips in reaction.

“Good?” He asked, wrapping his arms under her legs to better grip her hips and pin them down. His toes were tickled by the grass at the edge of the blanket where his feet dangled off no matter his position.

“Mmm-hmmm,” she nodded. “I love your mouth on me. Your lips always feel so soft to me.”

“Mmm,” he moved his lips back and forth, ghosting their plumpness over her. He kissed her reverently and thrust his tongue inside her. His fingers had to dig into the flesh of her hips to keep her still.

“Mingi,” she sighed, her hands moving down to tangle in his hair. “Harder. I want more.” He locked his lips around the nub of her clit and gave a harsh suck. In response she gave a yip of surprise and arched off the blanket. Yunho felt a pang of desire shoot through his gut at the gasping look of pure pleasure that spread across her features.

“Do that again,” he encouraged the other boy, moving to kneel in a spot that would let him capture both her face and Mingi between her thighs when another shock of pleasure was sent through her. Mingi nodded and pressed a flat hand against her lower stomach before giving her clit another harsh suck. She gasped again and threw her head back as her fingers pulled at Mingi’s hair, silently begging for more.

“I wish you knew how beautiful you are like this,” Yunho rumbled, clicking a series of pictures as his patience began to run thin. “How fast do you think our boy can make you come?”

“Fast,” she panted, looking up at him with half hooded eyes. “He’s so good with his mouth.”

“Isn’t he?” Yunho agreed, running his fingers over the soft skin of her shoulder and upper arm. “If only you had a cock to feel how warm and welcoming his throat is.”

She let out a whimpering moan at the thought. Her eyes flicked between the two boys her mind divided between the very real pleasure Mingi was giving her and the fantastical thought Yunho had planted in her head. She wanted to feel herself slide down his throat just once to know what it felt like.

“Your’s is equally good,” he whispered temptingly. “Would you let me feel it today?” She nodded. “With your pretty little flower crown on?” He added, getting another nod between twitches from Mingi’s ministrations. “Would you let Mingi take pictures of it… of my cock slipping down your sweet, tight throat?”

“Oh… yes,” she agreed breathily.

“Good, now show me how pretty you are when you come on our Mingle’s talented tongue,” he said decisively. She nodded and closed her eyes, focusing on the sensations of pleasure from Mingi. Yunho sat back on his heels, finally letting his hands begin to remove his clothes. They felt too tight but he still wanted to be ready to capture that moment when Mingi drove her over that edge. Quickly removing his clothes, he moved to get a view of her whole body and of Mingi stretched out between her thighs. He reached out and adjusted where the crown of flowers lay beside her head.

The way her hands gripped Mingi’s where they held her down captured his attention and he leaned in to snap a few pictures. He loved the way her knuckles and fingertips whitened as she squeezed when he did something she particularly liked. They were both so beautiful, he sighed mentally. Just looking at them made his heart swell. I’m so lucky they are mine, he sighed as he watched them.

She let out a moan and her thighs squeezed around Mingi’s face. It was clear she was getting close and Yunho crouched near her head to capture the moment. As she squirmed under the other boy’s touch, his erection twitched against his stomach. He wanted to touch them but he also wanted the images that would let him relive this moment whenever he wanted to.

Her cry was muffled in the meadow, giving it a sweet softness among the leaves and the wildflowers in the field. Yunho clicked photo after photo of her arching under Mingi’s touch as she gasped for breath. It was beautiful. So often when he was in the middle of it all, he was so wrapped up in the moment, in the sensations that he forgot to admire how beautiful the moment really was. The way Mingi’s brow scrunched and furrowed as he chased that feeling. How she arched and stretched like some rococo goddess. He loved that he got to see them like this; it was something that was only theirs.

He clicked a few photos of her pleased, drained face, shining slightly with sweat in the dappled summer sun. Then he took a few of Mingi’s proud face as he finally pulled back, his face still shining with the slick of both of their pleasure. Finally setting the phone aside, he leaned in to steal a quick kiss that let him taste them both on Mingi’s lips.

“Here, your turn,” Yunho said, handing him the phone with a grin. Mingi nodded, looking at it with determination and a desire to do a good job with the responsibility.

Their girl sighed and rolled over on her side to face them. Pleasure still hazed her gaze, making her movements slow and languorous. Her body felt loose and jelly-like in the aftermath of her orgasm. Pulling herself up to her knees, she moved forward towards Yunho where he had sat back on the picnic blanket, nude, his hard erection twitching at the sight of her.

“You look so pretty,” she sighed, running a hand up his thigh. “Can I taste my Yuyu? Can I please you?”

“Yes,” Yunho replied, his nostrils flaring in anticipation. “I want to watch myself disappear inside you.”

“I love my big boy,” she murmured, eyeing the length of his erection. “Can you kneel for me?”

“Put on the crown for me,” he ordered as he did as she asked. She nodded and picked it up, setting it nicely on her head. Letting out a moan, he reached out and grasped her hair gently, his fingers weaving in her hair. Together they brought her lips to his length and she slipped her lips around the tip. She tasted the salty musk of his precome, sweeping the tip of her tongue over the small slit.

Mingi touched the shutter button on the phone, capturing the blissful look on her face as she took the first small bit of the other boy’s length into herself. His mouth watered and he genuinely wasn’t sure who he wanted to be most at that moment. He could taste the familiar flavor of Yunho on his tongue and could feel the sweet sensation of her mouth closing around him. He loved the feeling of either of their mouths on him. Her small body and mouth always made him feel big and powerful. She always did that to him; there was a joy in feeling like she had to work to take him. It wasn’t that she was frail or delicate, but he felt the urge to protect her, even as he felt the need to take all of her and ruin that calm beauty of hers.

Yunho by contrast made him feel the relief of being out of his own control. It wasn’t that he felt small with Yunho, rather that he could be weak with him, he could trust him and completely let go with the trust he would take care of him, bring him pleasure and take it from him. He could trust him to use him in the best of ways and yet leave him feeling more loved than he had before they started.

He could feel pleasure settling in his stomach and hardening his already spent length. His mind emptied as she let her jaw slacken and Yunho pulled her down along his length. She leaned forward happily as he guided her movement with complete trust from her. Mingi felt goosebumps prickle over him at the sight.

On her hands and knees, she was just at the right height to let her throat be a long, slick, straight passage for his length. She had been determined to take both of her boys inside her like this, to feel her nose brush against the soft skin of their stomach as their hardness filled her throat. With Yunho’s size especially, being both long and thick, it had been a challenge but it had been worth all the work to feel him slip inside her and be able to hear his breath falter as she took that last inch.

“Fuck,” Yunho groaned unsteadily as he fisted his hand in her hair, guiding her down the last of his length. His hand held her there with a gentle firmness, relishing the feel of her on him until he saw her shoulders pinch together, a sign he had learned, that meant the discomfort was overriding her own pleasure. He guided her off, loving how his length glistened in the soft summer lighting.

“Is it good, my Yuyu?” She asked, voice raspy from the intrusion of his body into hers.

“You always feel like heaven, my love,” he cooed, cupping her cheek as she opened her mouth to take him again. Slipping into the moist cavern of her mouth, he slowly slid her back down until he could no longer see himself, only the flowers and the top of her pretty little head. Experimentally, he drew his hips back a few inches before thrusting into her mouth gently. He managed a few thrusts before he could read the discomfort in her again.

“My Yuyu is always so careful with me,” she sighed after clearing her throat and blinking away the tears that had filled her eyes.

“My precious girl is so beautiful like this,” he used his thumb to catch and wipe away the tear that rolled down her cheek.

“I just want to hold you inside me where you belong,” she gave a slight hiccough and opened her mouth to take him again. Slipping his hand around the back of her head, he led her down over him again, giving her a few more slow thrusts before pulling out.

“Can I be inside of you now?” He asked, coaxing her up and off her hands so that he could look down into her face.

“You can be a little harsher if you want,” she nodded, moving to taste him again.

“No no, I mean… here,” he caught her, bringing her face up towards his as he leaned in to kiss away the dampness on her lashes. She let out a little huffing sigh at his touch and brought her hands up to hold his much bigger ones as he held her face.

Sitting down and stretching out his legs, he moved her to straddle him and pulled her against him. Her skin was warm and sticky from exertion and the warmth of the day. His lips moved over her cheek to her lips, giving her little nibbling kisses as he moved her hips so that his erection brushed teasingly over her entrance.

“This is what I want now,” he explained slipping in between her moist folds. “Can I come inside you, fill you up? Leave a little of myself behind?”

“Yes please,” she gave a little nod that made her lips brush, feather-light over his. Yunho felt a shiver move over him and he angled her hips to slide inside in one slow, smooth movement. She threw her head back as she sunk down on him until he reached the end of her body, just short of the whole of his length. In this position it always took a few minutes for her stretch to accept all of him.

“Maybe this time,” he paused, giving a nervous barking laugh. “Maybe this time we make something together?” He gave her a smile and slid one hand between them to splay it over her stomach.

“You can always try,” she smiled, pressing her forehead to his as she moved upwards slowly, holding his shoulders for support. “Practice at least.”

“You’ll be so pretty all round and full of our baby,” he twitched inside of her at the thought. “And everyone will know you’re ours.”

“I’m just yours, even if everyone doesn’t know yet,” she promised. “For me it’s only my boys. My sweet loves who take such good care of me.”

“God I didn’t realize how much I missed holding you like this since we got here,” Yunho gripped her hips tighter, helping her move faster.

“At least we have today and last night,” she soothed, pressing quick kisses to his lips as she finished speaking.

“Not enough,” he groaned. “I need to touch you… I need… to be inside you.”

“We’ll find more time again,” she promised.

“Maybe I’ll just have to sneak you both out in the middle of the night,” he half joked, but clearly was only partly joking. “Take you around the back of the house and fuck you until you can’t walk, then carry you to bed. What do you think? What would you do if you still couldn’t walk by morning? How would you explain it to your parents?”

“I don’t know,” she chuckled. “I guess I’d have to play sick, make you play nursemaid to me until I recovered.”

“Mmmm, the cause and the cure?” He laughed. “I guess maybe they’d let me cuddle you under the blankets just a little to help you sleep if I was massaging your sore legs.”

“Hmmm, seems like wishful thinking,” she shook her head but wrapped her arms around his neck. “But we have a few more nights we can camp out by the lake. You can keep me up as late as you want. Make up the sleep on midday picnics where we can snack and nap a little. Is that good?”

“It’s enough,” he nodded before taking her lips and rolling both of them so that she was sprawled out under him on the blanket as he thrust inside her with abandon. Closing his eyes he let go, forgetting about Mingi taking pictures, forgetting about the cabin, her family, everything but the feel of her small body beneath him, taking him inside and that small hope he had of leaving behind something that would be undeniable proof that she was theirs.

He moaned her name as he buried himself inside, spilling his seed at the entrance to her womb. Please, he thought holding himself still as he stayed there catching his breath. Please just one little accident, we’ll make it work together. I just want us to be a real family.

Masterlist

[prettypinkguts]

Can I request an headcanon of Brahms meeting for the first time his shy and small s/o ? I'm in love with this stinky boy 😔❤

A/N: I’m sick to my stomach and have a terribly high fever, yet now is the time that I feel like writing. My body is a bitch to itself >:( 

----------------------------------------------------

Brahms meeting his shy and small s/o for the first time

Brahms calloused hands had itched to touch you from behind the confines of the Heelshire manor walls the moment he saw you. His brown eyes had stared at your small, shy form with both animalistic lust and uncontrollable adoration, demands of you to stay and become his new nanny already forming on his tongue. Even if your hands shook and your voice wavered under his mother's watchful gaze as you handled his doll for the first time, Brahms would still look on from behind the walls as his eyes would focus on your seemingly gentle touch and kind, motherly words. And from that very first encounter, Brahms knew that he had to have you. 

Happily following you from behind the walls Brahms would watch your every move throughout the Heelshire manor. He’d stir in bed with excitement every time you entered his room in the morning in order to care for his doll and small hums of happiness would spill past Brahms lips every time you pressed a kiss to its porcelain forehead after you read it a story or changed it’s clothes. But, the more Brahms spent time with you from behind the walls, the more he wanted to spend time with you outside the walls. And that was just what Brahms was determined to do one early July morning. 

Sunlight had danced across the kitchen counter-tops as you had made breakfast that morning, soft chatter leaving your lips as you talked lovingly to the doll that you had grown to love. Even when the doll mysteriously moved out of place, whispered secrets to you through the phone during the dead of night, and left you snacks outside your bedroom door, nothing had prevented you from loving the small porcelain boy. So, it had only been natural for a small smile to grace your lips upon turning around and finding Brahms chair empty, a giggle fading away into the hall towards the parlor room. “Brahms? Where did you go, you silly boy?” you would call out, your voice soft and sweet as you would tip-toe through the Heelshire manor halls, breakfast plates still in hand as you would laugh quietly to yourself at Brahms little game. But as soon as you reached the parlor room, your laughter had been cut off by your own shriek and the sound of plates smashing against the floor. A man was in the parlor room and he was holding your doll. 

It would only be when the man would call out your name in an all too familiar tone that you would finally remember to breathe. Shaky, frightened breaths would slip past your lips as the man would approach you, your eyes darting from his curly brown hair, to his dirty old clothes, until finally they would land upon a familiar porcelain face. “Brahms?” you would gasp, the sudden realization feeling like a punch to the stomach as Brahms, the real Brahms took one last stride towards you until the smell of his old clothes was far too powerful to ignore. “I-I thought th-that….are you hungry?” 

Your own question had caused you to find your body frozen with shock, but the longer you stared at the man, the longer you felt your love for the doll leaking through you. And it was with a deep breath through your nose and a shaky exhale through your mouth that you would press your hand against the small of Brahms back, your voice shy and shaky yet authoritative as you would instruct him to watch out for the broken glass on the floor and head into the kitchen. Brahms had tilted his head at you at the sound of the words, his big, toned, and muscular hands clenching and unclenching at his sides with anger? Shyness? You could not tell, but after letting his eyes linger on you for one moment longer, he would eventually heed your orders and walk towards the kitchen as silent as stone. 

It was only when you had placed breakfast in front of Brahms with shaky hands, orange juice spilling over the rim of a cup and splashing onto the table that you had finally let your legs fall from under you as you would sit in a chair across from Brahms. But, your moment of rest was short lived, for the moment you sat down you could feel eyes on you, honey-ed brown ones that bore into your skull, shadows made by the mask hiding hints of a gleaming something behind his stare. And that was the moment when you found yourself staring back. Dirty brown hair fell in curls around his face, the dark color only making his eyes stand out even more against the soft kitchen glow that filled the room, and when you squinted you could even see that his right eye seemed red and damaged. Chest hair peeked out from under a dirty, old tank top, and as you studied him you found a blush creeping up onto your cheeks upon seeing how strangely muscular he seemed, even if a moss green cardigan covered the entire length of his arms. And like the rest of him, even his strong hands looked unkempt and covered in dust.  But, what really caught your attention was the bright porcelain mask with a mass of a curly beard hiding behind it. Holes had been poked into it in order to make room for his own, but besides that and the copious amount of filth that covered it, it looked just like the face of the doll that had been left long forgotten in the parlor room. 

The sound of cutlery smashing against the table and a rageful roar was the only sound that had brought you out of your head and into the real world once more. Brahms had shifted since you had last been paying attention, and it was with wide eyes that you watched as his chest heaved and his right hand gripped his cut and bleeding left, his eyes wild and angry as if he had lit a fire underneath them. “Brahms! A-are you alright?” the quiet words had left your lips in genuine urgency as you found yourself getting up from your chair and rushing towards the sink, your hands grasping the first rag they could find before dousing it with water and rushing back to Brahms side. “Here, let me see it, okay?” 

Your words seemed to have an immediate connection with Brahms, for the moment you had reluctantly stepped beside him you could see the fire in his eyes slowly dying out as it was replaced yet again with that glimmering, warm something. In fact, you could feel the hot wave of another blush creeping onto your cheeks the moment he held out his hand to you, his eyes never once leaving yours as you began to clean up the small, bleeding cut on his palm and it was with an even hotter blush that you realized exactly how big, Brahms was, his size dwarfing you in comparison. And shame would begin to flow through your veins like ice water the moment you found yourself wondering exactly how big Brahms was compared to his doll, how small you would feel seated in his lap, how tiny and child-like your hands would feel clasped together with his. 

“Pretty…” the deepness of Brahms words would send a shock through you, his accent sending lighting through your body the moment your head would begin to register what he had said. And with that, a shy cough-like squeak would leave your lips as all kinds of thoughts would bounce around in your skull as your hands would continue to clean up Brahms’. You still had so many questions to ask, but with a small smile all you could really focus on was 3 things. Brahms was alive, you weren’t nearly as scared as you should be, and perhaps this new arrangement wouldn't be so bad after all.

[saccmaass]

Writing prompts List:

Hey guys! During this crazy pandemic I listened to A LOT of music, and I found myself thinking “wow this sentence would be a great prompt” so I made a list!

Note: For further inspiration you can find under the cut the name of the song and the name of the singer. 

“I’m ready for someone to love me”

“I’m talking to myself at night because I cant forget”

“You’re ripped at every edge but you’re a masterpiece”

“It’s maturity that I’m lacking”

“I’m not one to stick around”

“The autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place”

“I’m God and the Lord forgives”

“All I seem to do is break this things”

“You almost ran the red cause you were looking over me”

“I don’t wanna be alone in the darkness anymore”

“I’m not anything like I used to be”

“You taught me about your past thinking your future was me”

“There is so much you haven’t seen in me”

“Maybe I’m just too tired to keep running”

“But I crumble completely when you cry”

“I forget about you long enough to forget why I needed to”  

“She is broken and won’t ask for help”

“Faces from my past return”

“Maybe you’re all I ever wanted”

“So casually cruel in the name of being honest”

“You need to calm down, you’re being too loud”

“Cause for every lie I tell them, they tell me three”

“Frightened by the bite though it’s no harsher than the bark”

“Now all he thinks about is me”

“So what are you gonna do when the world don’t orbit around you?”

“Nothing compares to a quiet evening alone”

“I don’t regret it one bit, ‘cause he had it coming”

“Just need you to tell me we’re alright, tell me we’re okay”

“Her eyes invite you to approach”

“They’re burning all the witches even if you aren’t one”

“I notice your eyes are always glued to me”

“It’s not like I’m falling in love I just want you to do me no good, And you look like you could”

“I’m writing this letter and wishing you well”

“I had a dream I got everything I wanted”

“I don’t relax very often, as often as I could”

“The devil wakes up in my head”

“And when you go don’t return to mt my love”

“Won’t somebody help me help me chase the shadows away?” 

“There’s rain clouds out there that you don’t wanna feel”  

“As long as I’m here no one can hurt you”

“Through fortune and flame we fall”

“I won’t hesitate for you”

“Hoping for the best but expecting the worst”

“I can’t regret the things I don’t try”

“They don’t deserve you”

“All I’ve ever known is how to hide a secret”

“You really know how to make me cry”

“I tend to freak myself out”

“Only fools fall for you”

“With you by my side I will fight and defend”

“I’m still trying everything to keep you looking at me”

“I say the wrong shit at the right times” 

“You knew it still hurts underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart” 

“I never learned to read your mind”

“It’s a lonely night in my bed in the heat of the summer”

“When you are young they assume you know nothing”

“I just wanna how beautiful you are” 

“I had a marvelous time ruining everything”

“No reason to stay is a good reason to go” 

“And isn’t it just so pretty to think all along there was some invisible string, tying you to me”

“It kills to know that you have been defeated”

“Don’t want no other shade of blue but you”

“A dark world aches for a splash of the sun”

“When you can’t sleep at night you hear my stolen lullabies” 

“It’s funny how some distance makes everything seem small”

“A friend to all is a friend to none”

“Say I’m sorry without a sound”

“If I had a voice I would sing”

“I’ll be the actress starring in your bad dreams”

“I can fake a smile”

“If you never bleed, you’re never gonna learn”

“Tell me the words you long to hear and I’ll sing them loud and clear”

“Chase two girls, lose the one”

“I can feel you take control of who I am” 

“I don’t trust nobody and nobody trust me”

“Those windermere peaks look like a perfect place to cry”

“Taking steps is easy, standing still is hard”

“With you I serve, with you I fall down”

“Men fight great, but women are great fighters”

“Take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die”

“Just one single glimpse of relief to make some sense of what you’ve seen”

“Loving you is a losing game”

“Darling I’m a nightmare dressed like a day dream”

“My power flurries through the air into the ground”

“I wish I could lay down beside you when the day is done” 

“There’s nothing I hate more than what I can’t have”

“Loving you forever can’t be wrong”

“Haven’t you heard what becomes of curious minds?” 

“Big girls cry when their heart is breaking”

“Love is a fragile little flame, it could burn out”

“Yeah let’s be clear I trust no one”

“They say she was seen on occasion pacing the rocks, staring at the midnight sea”

“You and I have history or don’y you remember”

“A shining new era is tiptoeing nearer”

“Next time I’ll be braver, I’ll be my own savor”

“See, I ain’t as cruel and vicious as I seem” 

“I struggled on the ground” 

“Mysterious as the dark side of the moon”

“All that time, never even knowing just how blind I’ve been”

“We’ve got a long way to go”

                                                         ~~~

 I’m Ready // Sam Smith and Demi Lovato

Seven Nation Army // The White Stripes

Colors // Halsey

Sad Song // Christina Perry

Stuck with U // Ariana Grande and Justin Bieber

All Too Well // Taylor Swift

Unaccommodating // Eminem

Wild Enough // Elina

All Too Well // Taylor Swift

Darkness // Eminem

She Used To Be Mine // Sara Bareilles

All Too Well // Taylor Swift

Wild Enough // Elina

Lost My Mind // Finneas

505 // Arctic Monkeys

All Too Well // Taylor Swift

She Used To Be Mine // Sara Bareilles

No Time To Die // Billie Eilish

Lost My Mind // Finneas

All Too Well // Taylor Swift

You Need To Calm Down // Taylor Swift

I did Something Bad // Taylor Swift

505 // Arctic Monkeys

I did Something Bad // Taylor Swift

Ain’t It Fun // Paramore

Crushcrushcrush // Paramore

I did Something Bad // Taylor Swift

Level Of Concern // Twenty One Pilots

No. 1 Party Anthem // Arctic Monkeys

I did Something Bad // Taylor Swift 

Crushcrushcrush // Paramore

No. 1 Party Anthem // Arctic Monkeys

Mama // My Chemical Romance

Everything I Wanted // Billie Eilish 

Chaos And Piss // Pink

Coffin // Jessie Reyez

Mama // My Chemical Romance

Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight) // ABBA

Chaos And Piss // Pink

Everything I Wanted // Billie Eilish 

Mama // My Chemical Romance

Hesitate // Jonas Brothers

Forever Young // Alphaville

Scrawny // Wallows

Everything I Wanted // Billie Eilish 

Empty Handed // Lea Michele 

Ocean Eyes // Billie Eilish

Scrawny // Wallows

FOOLS // Troye Sivan

Keep Holding On // Avril Laving

Mirrorball // Taylor Swift

Scrawny // Wallows

 Hoax // Taylor Swift

Exile// Taylor Swift

I’m Ready // Sam Smith and Demi Lovato

Cardigan // Taylor Swift

Best Part // H.E.R (ft. Daniel Caesar)

The Last Great American Dynasty // Taylor Swift

Something Gotta Give // Camila Cabello

Invisible String // Taylor Swift

Wires // The Neighborhood 

Hoax // Taylor Swift

Cough Syrup // Young The Giant

My Tears Ricochet // Taylor Swift

Let It Go // Frozen

Cardigan // Taylor Swift

Hold On For Dear Love // Bridgit Mendler

If I Had A Heart // Fever Roy

Look What You Made Me Do // Taylor Swift

Human // Christina Perry

The 1 // Taylor Swift

Break The Cycle // You + Me

Cardigan // Taylor Swift

Golden // Harry Styles

Look What You Made Me Do // Taylor Swift

The Lakes // Taylor Swift

You’ve Got Time // Regina Spektor

Epiphany // Taylor Swift

Salute // Little Mix

The Lakes // Taylor Swift

Epiphany // Taylor Swift

Arcade // Duncan Laurence

Blank Space // Taylor Swift

Let It Go // Frozen

Hiding My Heart // Adele

Gorgeous // Taylor Swift

Dark Paradise // Lana Del Ray

Wonderland // Taylor swift

Big Girls Cry // Sia

I Know Places // Taylor Swift

Elastic Heart // Sia

The Last Great American Dynasty // Taylor Swift

Rumor Has It // Adele

Be Prepared // The lion King

Turning Tables // Adele

I’ve Got A Dream // Tangled

Birds Set Free // Sia

I’ll Make A Man Out Of You // Mulan

I See The Light // Tangled

Capsized // You + Me

[secret-engima]

Finds and Feathers Drabble: Drautos

*throws this on here* Ow, my hands. This is over 2.5k words when it was meant to be maybe 1k but its done now so enjoy it. I hereby blame @oliverslewty @yudu097 and @faeconstellation for this. XDD Look at what got resurrected and merged with Fangs and Feathers verse.

BEHOLD the thing that y’all did the vote for *waggles eyebrows*.

...

-Titus has several reasons to hate the royal family. King Mors pulled back the Wall, which allowed his parents and uncles to be murdered when Niflheim invaded, leaving only him and his older sister alive (and even then, Titus was only alive because of Regis and his sister was only alive because she had moved to Lestallum three years prior). Regis had promised Titus aid and vengeance, but as the years went by, Titus’s homeland was never reclaimed.

-Then there was the Glauca suit.

-Titus had not wanted the thing now sitting under his skin, he had fought every step of the way through his capture and experimentation and their attempts to TURN him, make him betray Lucis in favor of the people who had burned his home.

-If he hadn’t had a sister to go home to, he thinks he would have listened to them.

-If he hadn’t had a sister who Titus had learned was with child right before his capture, he thinks he might have listened anyway, or at least not been as desperately reckless to escape. He would have taken his time to plot a way out, played obedient puppet to lower their guard rather than fighting his way out using the THING they had burrowed under his skin, even if it almost killed him.

-The Crownsguard hadn’t even noticed he was gone, and of course, what the Crownsguard didn’t report, Regis was too busy to notice.

-Worthless king. Spineless king. Selfish lying king who deserved to WAtCh hIs KInGdOm BUrN-

-It was only his sister’s horrified intervention in the height of his vitriol that clued him in on the fact that his thoughts were no longer completely his own. The suit, the armor, the thing that breathed and hungered and hated under his skin was connected to his mind so that he could command it at will, but that connection was two way, and its hate kept trying to bleed over into his own thoughts.

-Titus made a point to twist his spite and direct it at Niflheim whenever his thoughts strayed. True, he might hate the royal line for their failures, but he hated Niflheim MORE. Regis might not be the warrior king Lucis needed but at least he wasn’t the Emperor (at least he was a good man, even if good men made bad kings). On and on his thoughts spun in endless circles, a tug of war between two different kinds of spite and anger in the background of his everyday life that frankly made every day exhausting. It would have been so much easier to let the two thought processes combine and carry him away into a secret, righteous crusade against Lucis. So much easier to claim the power Niflheim had burrowed under his skin.

-He didn’t. Because of his sister. More than her…

-Because of his nephew. Because his nephew had no father figure to speak of (his sister had looked so worried when she told him of her one night stand with a nameless, pretty-eyed stranger that had made her pregnant despite protection) and had been born with fury under his skin, branded into his being just like the birthmarks that stretched across his face and body like jagged scars. SOMEONE had to teach his nephew to control the fury that seemed to have been molded into the boy’s soul from the womb, and Titus was the only one around to do that.

-Then one day when his nephew was seven years old and throwing a tantrum, the apartment shook and his nephew froze in astonishment at the bright, red-amber fire licking over his hands. In the stunned silence that had followed, his nephew had looked up at him with blood red eyes (his nephew’s eyes were washed out blue like his, not red, not RED-) and Titus had one more reason to hate Lucis Caelums.

-He never told Regis. Never dared. Regis was a man who loved children, and even in his blackest moments Titus would never suspect the man of being capable of harming a child, but Regis was married. Married to a wife he adored, a wife who had just recently had a son of her own. The scandal it would cause if Titus’s nephew was known, the strife that would erupt between Regis, Aulea, and Titus’s sister-. He couldn’t risk it.

-He had never been so glad that Regis had given him magic as a trusted member of his Retinue. A way to teach his nephew how to hide the magic burning under his skin and how to temper the wrath that threatened to shake the walls at any given moment (because his nephew was always angry, even when he was content and smiling and laughing with his mother, there was a tiny spark of anger lurking there, like the world had wronged him and he hated it).

-He still kept the secret even after Aulea died. Because Regis was grieving, and for all the bitterness that was both his and the suit’s, he wouldn’t inflict that kind of drama on the man while he was grieving.

-When his nephew was ten, Titus got a call from his sister, frantic and confused over her nephew, who had been watching a broadcast about the Oracle’s children when he suddenly passed out with a fever. Titus claimed a sick day and rushed to Lestallum to check on his nephew, found him already up and about a day after his mysterious collapse.

-His eyes were red and there was bitterness there.

-They didn’t stop being red even after Titus held him close and calmed the buzzing rage he could feel under his nephew’s skin.

-“I’m King Regis’s spawn, aren’t I?”

-Titus stiffened at the wording, glanced up at his sister as she pet her son’s hair and breathed, “You are my beloved son. Who your father is doesn’t matter to us.”

-His nephew laughed and the sound was broken. Then he pulled away and summoned fire to his hands so he could stare at his magic. When he looked up at his mother, his eyes were still the color of fresh blood, “I don’t like my name. I want to change it.”

-Titus and his sister had exchanged worried looks, but out of fear of a magic-fueled tantrum, Titus asked, “What name do you want?”

-A sharp, bitter sort of smile more at home on the face of a soldier than a child, “Xanxus. My name is Xanxus.”

-And that was that. His nephew stopped responding to his given name, only answered to the one he had given himself. He was different now, from whatever had happened, and Titus wished he could ask Regis about magic without raising suspicions, because was this normal for Lucis Caelums? This sudden change in name and development of a too-old (too bloodthirsty) personality?

-Xanxus’s eyes never did turn back to blue. Titus suspected there was too much anger there, lurking just beneath the surface as his nephew went out and picked fights with the street rats of Lestallum, as he ran off to join the Hunters at fifteen, adding yet another concern to Titus’s life in between his duties as Captain of the Kingsglaive, the suit constantly prodding his thoughts, and Prince Noctis (who had taken to trailing him around with big blue eyes that made it impossible to hate the brat) and his crazy pet Galahdian who had apparently taken a shine to him because he wasn’t “a useless herbivore” (whatever that meant).

-Titus should have known something would break someday. The tenuous secrecy and balance couldn’t last forever. Not with Xanxus’s temper and Titus’s terrible luck in regards to Lucis Caelums.

-Four months after Xanxus turned sixteen, Titus got a report from the front lines. A base of Kingsglaive had nearly been overrun by a Niflheim assault until an unknown teenager with magic had intervened and shot down the gunships with a combination of over-powered, red-tinted fire spells and guns that seemed to fire bullets of pure magic.

-Titus could do nothing to stop the report from reaching Regis, because several Crownsguard had been at the base at the time to refuel their truck on the way back to Insomnia and they had already reported the incident to the Marshal.

-Titus stood at a twitching Regis’s side, face frozen in neutrality that he didn’t feel as the throne room doors got flung open and his nephew was escorted inside by several glaives. Xanxus eyed Regis with contempt, his magic swirling openly around him like biting embers of anger and King Regis flinched at the feel of it before stepped forward, “You are-”

-“Your illegitimate spawn,” sneered Titus’s nephew and Titus inwardly groaned, “so what? Gonna try to lock me in your pretty Citadel so I don’t go around shaming your line?”

-Regis recoiled like he’d been physically punched and Titus openly winced and resisted the urge to tell Xanxus to do his breathing exercises, “No!” Sputtered the king Titus had a constant loyalty-hate relationship with, “I would never hold you here against your will!”

-“So you’ll just offer a lot of incentives for me to stay  and more incentives for me to not dare leave.” Retorted Titus’s living headache, “Don’t try the playing the nice sham you old b-.”

-That was enough of that, “Xanxus Certus Drautos, watch your tongue. I can still hold you down and wash that mouth of yours out with soap.”

-All eyes snapped to Titus while Xanxus made a face and a rude gesture and Titus sighed at the unspoken, panicky question in Regis’s eyes, “He’s my nephew. Yes, I’ve known about his magic for a long time.”

-Regis’s expression was so genuinely wounded Titus felt bad, “Then why did you never…?”

-Titus looked away, unable to withstand the hurt in the eyes of the man Titus thought was a bad king but knew was a good man (which was what made him a bad king), “We didn’t find out until the year Prince Noctis was born. I didn’t want my sister or nephew … or you … to suffer the scandal it would cause if he became known. And after the Queen died … there was never a good time.”

-Xanxus snorted, “Whatever, just scrub the reports and he can keep his precious reputation untarnished and I can go back to Hunting. Say one of your pet glaives used a new magic spell or something.” The glaives bristled at the “pet” comment, but Titus was just glad he wasn’t slinging his favorite word around yet (he doubted Cor or anyone in the room would react well to Xanxus calling the king “trash”)

-Regis turned back to Xanxus, reached out a hesitant hand, “You don’t have to leave. I will not stop you if … if you truly wish to go but I would … I would be honored to get to know my son-.”

-Magic rippled out like blood and fury and Titus instinctively put himself between Regis and Xanxus as his nephew snarled “I don’t belong to you, Trash King. I’m not your son, I’m your mistake and I will not be caged just so you can pat yourself on the back and feel better about ‘repenting’ for your ‘mistakes’.” Xanxus shook off the glaives that reached for him, fire burning dangerously up his arms and shoulders as he leaned around Titus so he could bare his teeth at a shaking Regis, his armiger flickering in and out of existence in red-amber as he spat, “You leave me and my mother the pyre alone or so help me I’m gonna-.”

-From the doors of the throne room, another magic signature spiked and Titus swallowed his spit in dread.

-What was Prince Noctis doing down here?

-Xanxus’s eyes went wild and he spun on his heel and Titus had a horrifying mental image of either his nephew or his crown prince dead on the throne room floor and half-dived for his nephew. He slammed against the red-tinted magic shield that formed and pushed outward, knocking aside everyone that might have stopped him as Prince Noctis, with no self-preservation whatsoever, ran up to Xanxus and smiled, “Xanxus, you’re here!”

-Wait. How did Prince Noctis know Xanxus’s name?

-Xanxus stared down at the nine year old prince with a cocked head, confusion in the set of his shoulders for a moment before he … relaxed, “Small Trash?” There was genuine confusion, disbelief, as if he wasn’t expecting to see Prince Noctis here, but that made no sense because Xanxus had only ever been to Insomnia in his life ONCE before now and there was no way he’d met Prince Noctis then. … Right?

-Prince Noctis stared around them at the shield hemming them in, then fearlessly smiled and hugged Titus’s nephew, “I missed you!”

-Titus prepared to batter down the shield in hopes of preventing regicide.

-Xanxus just patted Prince Noctis’s hair, armiger fading out of existence and magic settling to something slightly below screaming wrath, “Figures you’d be here, Small Trash.”

-“My name is Noctis.”

-“Xanxus. Xanxus Drautos.”

-Prince Noctis leaned briefly around Xanxus to blink at Titus, then resumed smiling up at the half-brother he shouldn’t know existed, “Titus’s…?”

-“Nephew, Small Trash. I don’t have a father.”

-Regis made a strangled noise, tentatively resting a hand on the shield keeping him away from his two sons, “Noctis…”

-Prince Noctis looked at his father, blinked with that unique, far-off stare he got when his seer magic kicked in and Titus felt his teeth grind as the boy looked up at Xanxus, “…You’re my half-brother.”

-Xanxus’s shoulders tensed, “Small Trash…”

-Prince Noctis turned and hugged Xanxus again, “It’s okay. He’s a good dad, I promise. He’ll love you. Please stay.”

-A shaking breath that felt … vulnerable. More vulnerable than his nephew had been since he was ten and claimed a new name, “I’m illegitimate, Small Trash. We both know what that means to royalty.”

-Slender arms hugged tighter and Titus watched in awe as his volatile nephew did nothing to throw the boy away, “Dad is different. I love him, and he loves me. He loves you too already. I promise. And I never break my promises.”

-Xanxus sagged in place, muttered a few scathing curses Titus had never been able to train out of him, then reached down and effortlessly picked Prince Noctis up and propped him on his hip like the boy was three and not nine, “Fine, Small Trash. I’ll give him three months. If I don’t like him by then I’m gone.”

-The shield dissolved as Xanxus turned around, “You got that, Trash King? You want to prove you’re interested in me as family and not a tool, you got three months to do it. After that I’m gone and none of your men better try to stop me unless they want to be dead.”

-Regis agreed even as the Marshal growled at Xanxus’s wording, but Titus didn’t care to listen. Couldn’t really think past his surprise because … because…

-As his nephew looked down at the half-brother he apparently already knew in his arms, angry but in a more tired and indulgent way, for the first time in years…

-Xanxus’s eyes were their natural washed out blue again.

-Oh, thought Titus quietly as Prince Noctis beamed up at Xanxus with amber eyes, magic curling effortlessly around Xanxus’s in a way that filled in and smoothed over all the screaming, jagged edges.

-Oh.

[spider-manholland]

I’m Still Hurting | Peter Parker

part six of the mending hearts mini-series

Pairing(s): Ex!Peter Parker x Female Reader, Peter Parker x Michelle Jones, Brad Davis x Female Reader

Warning(s): angst, fluffy flashbacks, swearing, Far From Home spoilers

Summary: Sometimes it takes losing the person you once loved to make you realize how much they still mean to you.

Requested by @decaffeinated-turtle 

Author’s Note:  I’m terribly sorry that my updates have been slow lately.  I’m currently away for my cousin’s wedding and I’m the maid of honor so I’ve been really busy.  I promise to get the next chapter up as soon as possible.

Masterlist

The moment you found out what was on the itinerary for the class trip to Paris you lost all of your energy on wanting to go. And you tried everything, like everything you could think of but nothing worked. You tried faking that you were sick but the whole “you don’t have a fever so you’re fine,” thing happened with Mr. Harrington so that plan was ruined.

So there you were, walking through the same city you used to think was beautiful but now found horrifying, filled with memories that you tried so hard to forget but know you never can.

The memories were like deep cuts to you, wounds that you’ve tried to stitch shut for so long but always end up opening up all over again.

“Hey,” you were suddenly torn out of your thoughts at the sound of Brad’s voice, seeing him appear next to you as you and the rest of your class stepped out of the very long train, all exhausted from the ten hour journey. “You doing alright? I couldn’t help but notice that you sat by yourself the entire ride here.”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You nodded, smiling reassuringly. “Just wanted to be alone, that’s all.” You and Brad stayed near the back of your class as you all made your way towards the train station’s exit and stood by the bus stop. “Why? Did you want to sit next me? You seemed pretty comfortable next to Flash.” You teased, smirking when Brad playfully rolled his eyes.

“Oh please,” Brad scoffed, “I love the guy and all, but he never knows how to stop talking. I swear I thought my mind was going to explode if I heard him say something about Spider-Man one more time. Plus,” he paused, letting his hand slightly brush against yours. “I would’ve rather sat next to you but Flash already pulled me down with him and I didn’t want to be rude-”

“Brad,” your hand grabbed onto his bicep, cutting him off. “It’s okay, you don’t need to explain yourself. Like I said, I wanted to be alone.”

“Alright, just wanted to make sure.” Brad smiled, relieved that you weren’t upset with him. “So, what are you most excited for to see in Paris?” He asked, picking up his bag that was resting on the floor against his leg when the large bus meant for your class pulled up in front of you guys. “I really want to go to the Eiffel Tower.”

Peter wants to take MJ there, you felt your heart stop at the sudden reminder, remembering when you accidentally overheard Peter tell Ned his entire plan on confessing his feelings to MJ on the plane ride to Venice. Brad couldn’t help but notice the softened expression on your face, immediately feeling guilty when realizing what he said. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that.” He frowned, “I heard from Betty about Peter’s plan-”

“It’s okay,” you interrupted him, putting on your fakest smile. “You don’t need to keep apologizing for stuff that isn’t your fault.” You gave his bicep a small, reassuring squeeze. “And I’m not really excited for anything. I’ve seen pretty much everything the last I came here.”

“Oh that’s right, you came here with-” he paused, smiling sympathetically. “Sorry, again.”

You rolled your eyes playfully as you gently pushed past him to step onto the bus where the rest of your class were already at. You then sat down on one of the empty seats, Brad sitting beside you, both of you sharing quick smiles before he pulled out his own pair of earphones and began to listen to his music.

You didn’t realize how long you kept your gaze on Brad until you heard him clear his throat, staring at you with a small smirk on his lips. “Is there something on my face or you just enjoy staring at me?”

“W-What?” You froze, your eyes wide and your cheeks turning bright pink from embarrassment. “N-No, there’s nothing on your face, and I don’t like s-staring at you.” You stuttered, shaking your head.

“Whatever you say, sweet cheeks.” He chuckled, returning his attention back towards his phone. “Sweet cheeks?” You questioned, feeling your cheeks become even more brighter and your heart flutter at his nickname for you. “What?” Brad shrugged, heat also traveling up his neck and up to his face. “Whenever you blush your cheeks remind me of my favorite candy, Strawberry Taffy, and they’re sweet. Sweet cheeks.”

“You’re an idiot.” You giggled, shaking your head as you pulled out your book from your backpack and began to read it, unaware of the pair of brown eyes that belonged to none other than Peter Parker, who watched and heard the entire conversation between you and Brad, can’t help but feeling his heart beat anxiously at the sight of you two.

But the longer he stared at you the more he get his heart beat slowly turn from anxious to warmth when his eyes then traveled down to your chest - not pervertedly - and landed on the Red Dragon necklace that he got for you, resting on your chest.

- - -

After you and your entire class got to the hotel and settled in, everyone was now walking around the city, following Mr. Harrington and Mr. Dell as they led you all to the first destination on your guys’ itinerary.

“Where are we going anyway?” Brad asked, who was walking beside you near the back of the class, sweat beading on his forehead from the heat and exhaustion. “We’ve been walking for nearly two hours. Mr. Harrington,” Brad called out for your guys’ teacher. “Are we almost there?”

“Don’t worry, Brad,” Mr. Harrington replied, glancing back towards his student before returning his gaze back to the city map he held in his hands. “The Pont des Arts is just on the other side of the block.”

“Pont does Arts?” You questioned, feeling yourself freeze in your spot and your heart stop at the mention of the one place you completely despised. The one place that made your mind get consumed by what used to be heartfelt memories but was now replaced by dark, empty ones. “W-We’re going there?”

Peter was the first to notice your frozen state, concern and worry immediately filling his veins but before he could get the chance to confront and comfort you, Brad beat him to it.

“Hey, you okay?” You felt Brad’s hand on your arm, shaking you back to reality, turning to face him and see concern clear in his eyes. “Y-Yeah,” you lied, shaking your head, trying to hide the crack in your voice as the memories you’ve tried so hard to forget began to resurface in your mind and remind you of all the times your heart used to be bright. “I-I’m fine.”

You were there, standing on the Pont does Arts, or what others know it as the “Lock Bridge”, admiring the many different locks, both old and brand new. You found them all beautiful and unique in their own way. But you couldn’t help but wonder, how many of these loves actually lasted?

You didn’t realize how focused you were on them until you felt a pair of strong arms wrap around your waist from behind, a chin resting on your shoulder. “Hello, pretty lady.” You smiled at the sound of Peter’s low voice in your ear, your knees going weak when he pressed a soft kiss against your neck. “Hey, handsome.” You blushed, placing your hands over his, feeling your heart flutter at his delicate touch.

“I got us something.” Peter said, causing you to turn to face him and see him dig for something in his front pocket. “Oh my god,” you gasped, covering your mouth with your hands when saw him pull out a simple lock, your initials along with his written on it with marker. “Are you sure? We’ve only been dating for a year-”

“-and three months and six days exactly,” Peter finished, grinned widely and nodding his head. “Of course I’m sure. Are you okay with this?”

“Yes,” you answered without hesitation, your smile getting even more bigger when Peter leaned down and pressed a quick, passionate kiss against your lips. Peter then grabbed your hand pulled you down with him, the both of your kneeling in front of the railing where dozens of different locks already were.

You watched as Peter slowly unlocked your guys’ copper colored lock and attached it to the metal railing. You then felt his hand slip into yours and gave it a small squeeze as the two of you stood back up onto your feet and stared at your guys’ shared lock. “It’s perfect.” You smiled, standing up on your tip toes and pressing a quick kiss on Peter’s cheek. “I love you so much, Peter Parker.”

Peter swore he never felt his heart beat so hard before from your words. Yes, you’ve told each other “I love you” before but right now, in this moment, the two of you being in the City of Love and practically sealing your love for each other, that’s when Peter knew he wanted to be with you for the rest of his life.

“I love you with all my heart, Y/N L/N.”

It’s was like going through the worst pain you have ever felt all over again but this time, it’s a hundred times worse. There were you, standing on the Pont des Art with the rest of your class, staring at the lock that you and Peter left nearly a year ago—when your relationship was strong and where you thought you would be with him forever. Oh, how wrong you were.

You tore your gaze away from the now slightly dirty lock and turned to face where your class was, seeing them also admiring all the different locks that covered the bridge, your heart clenching in your chest when seeing Peter and MJ standing beside each other very closely, their hands brushing against each other every now and then, both checking out the same lock. You then felt your eyes drift off towards a medium-size rock that was on the ground and it was like all the pent up anger and heartache you’ve kept locked away took over and finally exploded, because next you knew you were bashing the rock against you and Peter’s lock, completely unaware of the confused and concerned stares you were recieving from your classmates.

Thoughts of all the nights you spent crying over Peter, every date he missed without an excuse, every text and call that was forgotten, every day you wondered what caused your what used to be strong relationship with him to collapse consumed your mind and fueled your anger, making you bash the rock onto the lock harder and harder until it finally broke and the sound of it clattering onto floor breaking you from your strance, your breathing heavy and your eyes filled with tears.

No words came out of your mouth, only tears streaming down your face as you stared at your class before walking away, ignoring the calls you were getting from your teachers and Brad.  All you wanted was to be alone.

As the rest of your class left the Pont des Arts, Peter decided to stay behind, curious to see what you were so aggressive towards. But when seeing the lock you two left behind almost a year ago—or six if he was being specific because of the “blip”, Peter swore he could feel his heart ache inside his chest and drop into the pit of his stomach.

The lock was broken, just like your guys’ love for each other.

Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Let me know if you want to be part of this series taglist or my permanent one.

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[growntolovesecrecyfic]

Grown to Love Secrecy - Chapter Three (Petekey)

Can be read here.

Summary:  Mikey Way hates Oscar Wilde but Pete Wentz convinces him to read The Picture of Dorian Gray.

Chapter Three:  The Tyranny of an Old, Loveless Man

--

It’s been a few days since Mikey and Pete’s first night together on the bus. It was an awkward endeavor, but Pete found it quite charming, seeing how nervous Mikey was and how much Mikey wanted to make him happy. He couldn’t help but smile the whole time he was with Mikey.

For the following days, things have been pretty quiet amongst the bands and their missing bassists. One always off with the other but this doesn’t mean that their performance has faltered if anything their new sparked friendship sparked between the two has set off speculation amongst fans and it drives them crazy to be able to sneak a peek at the hottest new bromance in the scene. Don’t even get me started on when the bands would join each other on stage and perform together, fangirls everywhere go wild.

The sun, the music, and the romance (well, mostly on Mikey’s side) has created the perfect summer for the two. Sure, there are some awkward moments of Mikey questioning their relationship status and Pete’s heart thinking for his dick or maybe the other way around. However, these aren’t things that you communicate with the guy you make out with sometimes. So, much like themselves, their feelings stayed in the closet.

Pete conjured up this crazy idea of having their bands being able to hang out with each other and create bonds within the two groups after they leave Texas. Making plans at going to some waterparks before and after their sets to cool off in New Mexico. Maybe watch the sunsets or see some movies as most friends do. And It was during this time where Pete has an inner monologue with himself everyday about his feelings for Mikey.

He promised himself that he wouldn’t hurt after Jeanae. He wouldn’t bend over backwards for another person because he’s the only one that gets hurt in the end and the only one that’s painted as a terrible person. But even so, his feelings for Mikey grow as they stay up late and talk about what the future holds for the both of them and their bands. Both of their widely anticipated third albums and the tours after Warped. Will they ever tour together again? Will they be happy (together)? Does anything they do matter? They are a bunch of existential motherfuckers.

Pete brought up the idea of marriage and Mikey scoffed at the idea which bewildered Pete.

“I don’t think marriage will ever be for me. When my parent’s divorced, it made me believe that love wasn’t as magical as most think it is? Will it really heal everything? Will having someone love me replace the hatred I have for myself? I don’t know.” Mikey looked up at Pete, finishing his mini tangent before his voice faltered and he looks away from him. “Plus, I don’t think I’ve met the person that I’d want to marry yet.” He didn’t want to think what he said was true as he would like to have a potential future with Pete. Marriage? Maybe not but it doesn’t mean that he wants to rid his life of Pete. He’s one of his closest friends and even if this fling isn’t anything but that, he’d still love to have Pete around.

Pete was silent. He didn’t know why he was so upset. Friends with Benefits shouldn’t hurt this much. The benefits of being Mikey’s friend is the occasional make out sessions behind porta potties at Warped and gross, sticky hand jobs and head in gas station bathrooms with the side effects of falling in love with a man that doesn’t believe in the magic of love and what it can heal. Pete shakes his head, who was he kidding. He was the one to initiate this whole idea of a fling with him, why he so upset? This was his grave and now, he must lie in. Or is it his bed? Well, it might as well be grave with the way that this relationship will the death of him.

“Sorry, I was thinking of… stuff.” Pete responded. ‘Yeah, that’s smooth as hell, Pete.’ He thinks to himself sarcastically, mentally facepalming.

Mikey let out a breathy laugh and Pete swore his heart could burst.

“Yeah, ‘stuff’.” He sits up and moves his hands up to make air quotes, “I can tell. Every time you’re deep in thought, your eyebrows squish together, and you bite your lip and look off into the distance. You’re kind of spaced out, deep in your own world. I think it’s pretty cute.” Mikey shies away from Pete and scoots to the end of his bunk.

Pete smiles and crawls toward Mikey, grabbing his thighs and pulling him into a kiss. The couple kiss for a few moments before they pull away, their breath heavy and their faces hot. Their noses are still in contact with each other as they lose each other into their eyes. They swear they can get high off just being around each other. They lay there for a while before they recollect themselves.

After they come down from their high, they get back to working on Pete’s mission to get Mikey to fall in love with Oscar Wilde (and maybe fall in love with him too).

“Alright. So, what chapter did you read up to last time?” Pete asked as he waited besides Mikey who’s flipping through the pages of the maroon-colored book that the pair have been invest in for the past week.

Mikey skims the book as he answers, “Uh, I don’t remember. I think we left off at the part where Lord Henry was saying some bullshit about his selfishness and how Dorian was like charmed, so he ditches Basil to hang with Lord Henry.” Mikey shakes his head at Dorian’s naivety. How can he leave the one man that seems to care for him for some other person who’s clearly not good for him?

As the pair read the rest of chapter three and move onto their transition into chapter four, Pete couldn’t help but notice the similarities between himself and Lord Henry. From his own perspective, he’s charming and witty yet so destructive. Almost everything good in his life has been ultimately destroyed at his own hand. He’s surprised that the band has lasted as long as it did. Maybe it was the other guy’s efforts into keeping the band afloat or maybe the band is what keeps himself sane. Hopefully, he isn’t the Lord Henry to Mikey’s Dorian. However, Mikey doesn’t see himself as that way. He hasn’t gotten that far into the book to find a character to relate to yet, he finds them all to be either too obsessed with someone else or self-obsessed and he doesn’t think that he’d ever find someone to fall that madly in love with to obsess over.

Despite, Mikey’s constant jabs at Gerard for loving Oscar Wilde so much he can see where Gerard in high school was coming from. This book is amazing and tugged at his heartstrings in a way that was too embarrassing to admit to anyone but himself. And well, maybe Pete. He is his boyfriend. In a way. Maybe. Probably. I don’t know.

While Mikey was having his third relationship crisis of that week, Pete couldn’t help but watch him. He realizes that he’d like Mikey around longer than the summer allows. But would Mikey want that? Is that what’s the best for either of them? Pete shakes away those thoughts of self-doubt. Why wouldn’t Mikey want to hang out with him and the guys? They’re best friends and Mikey’s pretty close with everyone else in the band.

Mikey could feel Pete’s gaze on his face, feeling himself grow hot before he turned to face the older man, “Anything wrong, Pete?”

Pete quickly snaps out of his own mind and shakes his head, “Sorry. Thinking again, aha.” He exhales before he speaking softly, “So… Mikeyway. Would you… and the rest of My Chem like to… I don’t know, erm, hang out tomorrow? Like all of us. As a group.”

Mikey was a bit startled by this proposition; their bandmates hardly hang out with each other off stage. It won’t be that hard to convince them though, considering all they do is hang out with Jamia at merch, sign autographs, hang with the fans, and mess with Cortez.

“I mean, sure? I think tomorrow will be great. I’ve heard New Mexico has the best sunsets.”

Pete smiles, “It’s a date.”

“Alright, who the fuck ate all my Cocoa Krispies” Bob exclaimed entering the main room on the bus. The rest of the guys looked up at him confused while Frank as stoic as ever without peering from his magazine answers, “Yeah, so what if I did it? It wasn’t labeled.”

This set Bob off and the rest of the guys and they all got into an argument over how the labeling system is bullshit and that if you know it’s not yours to not take it. All the guys except Mikey. This isn’t unusual behavior for him as he tries to avoid all conflict if possible. This was evident to Gerard and the guys when some drunk guy punched Gerard without warning and Frank tried to run up on the dude while Ray was holding him back. Leaving Mikey nowhere to fade into the background talking to some girl he took home later that night.

However, Gerard was skeptical, he hadn’t spoken all morning even during rehearsals, he didn’t even leave a few snarky remarks at Frank or Gerard as he usually did. It was odd.

Later after the bands small quarrel, they decided to take a small break and go on a walk while Gerard said that he’d rather stay with Mikey, leaving just the two of them on the bus.

Mikey on his sidekick, texting whoever the hell he’s always texting. Gerard guessed it was the guys from lostprophets or maybe the dudes from Fall Out Boy or Adam or Geoff or the countless of girls that ask for his number that he gives out on the random. He’s surprise that Mikey hasn’t gotten his number leaked yet. Mikey chewed on his lip as his fingers stayed frozen on the keyboard of his sidekick, glancing up at Gerard ever so often.

Gerard was the first one to break the silence, “So, do you have any plans for today?” Mikey kept his eyes glued to the sidekick, scanning the screen as it has the answer to Gerard’s question. Mikey sniffled a bit almost as if he needed some time before he spoke then he wiped his nose with the sleeve of his “Mikey” hoodie. He was prone to allergies, no matter what time of year it was, hay fever is one of his biggest enemies.

“Uhm,” He looked down at his sidekick once more before closing it and setting it to the side, “Pete and I were talking last night. You know, how he’s always trying to make me read The Picture of Dorian Gray? Well, we’ve been hanging out a lot and I know, I’m sorry that I haven’t been able to talk to you guys or hang out with you guys much.”

Gerard nodded along as Mikey spoke, agreeing with everything he said as yes, Mikey did hang out with Pete a bit too much to his liking and he hardly hung out with the band unless Pete is with him. It bothered him a bit, but Frank already said that he shouldn’t speak on it so he’s going to leave it at that.

“And he feels bad and wants us to all hang out as a group. Not just us performing onstage to rile up the fans or anything. Not My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy. Just a couple of dudes from Chicago and Jersey.” Mikey picks up his sidekick, reading the message that’s displayed before him but before he texts back a response, he looks back up at Gerard, “We can all go out to a waterpark far from Warped and we can just relax and swim and be us.”

Gerard smiles, “Yeah, I’d like that. I think the guys would like that too.”

Mikey smiles back at his brother, “Awesome. I’ll let Pete and the rest of the guys know.” Mikey jumps up from the booth and towards the back of the bus.

[johnsbleu]

Hold My Hand: John Wick x Reader Chapter 63

warnings: none!  Hold My Hand Masterlist

You peek open one eye to see John cleaning up the bedroom as quietly as he can without waking you up. He tosses all of your clothes into the laundry basket, straightens the chairs near the window, then he opens the curtains a little more and steps onto the balcony for a moment. From the looks of it, it’s a pretty nice day out today, so you’ll probably spend most of it outside.

Chuckling to yourself, you watch him as he looks across the yard and leans against the railing. He seems to be in a weird state of bliss, which you can relate to, of course. You're finally engaged! When John turns back around to come inside, you close your eyes and pretend to still be sleeping. Slowly peeking your eye open again, you see him grab the Polaroid pictures the two of you had taken the night before. He looks at them and smiles to himself, then he presses a kiss to the picture.

“Did you just kiss a picture of us?” you laugh, and John’s eyes light up when he sees you’re awake.

“Hi, baby.” he whispers and sits next to you on the bed.

You look at the clock and laugh, “You went five whole hours without talking to me, how ever did you survive?

John rolls his eyes playfully, then leans down to kiss you, “How are you feeling?”

The room seems extremely bright today with the sun shining in the window, so you cover your eyes with your hand. Is it always this bright? Who the hell knows, but damn, it's bright as hell today.

“I’m fine.”

John notices you covering your eyes and he lifts the blanket, crawling under it with you and pulling it over your heads, “I just talked to your mom.”

“Yeah?” you nod and scoot closer to John, always wanting to feel the heat he’s giving off, “What’s up with her?”

“You said last night that you wanted to go out to brunch with her.” he says, and you finally look up at him, “I thought we could all go to this little place that I know.”

You feel John’s hand on your waist and realize you’re still naked from the night before, “Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.”

“Are you okay?” he asks and presses his hand to your forehead, “You don’t have a fever.”

You rub your temples and laugh, “I think I drank too much last night.”

“I’d say we both did.” he laughs and pulls you into his arms.

“Fuck,” you start to laugh again and pull the blankets down, “I just remembered we totally made up a whole dance.”

“Again, we both drank a lot.” he says, groaning a little as he sits up, “By the way, I will never do that dance in public.”

“I remember how cute and happy you looked though.” you stretch your legs out and wince when you feel how sore your thighs are, “Ooh, I remember some other stuff we did.”

John presses a kiss to your head and smiles, “That was fun.”

“Yeah, my body…got quite a workout.” you lean closer John’s face and smile, “It was nice though. You know exactly what you’re doing.”

“Thanks.” John laughs quietly as his cheeks turn red and he looks down at his hand on your hip.

The two of you made love several times last night, in between laughing and drinking. You also vaguely remember ordering food at two in the morning. Your body isn’t in pain, but you certainly can feel how much sex the two of you had. Who can blame you though? You’re engaged to the man of your dreams.

You look down at your chest and gasp when you see the small purple mark on the top of your breast, “You gave me a hickey!”

“Can I make you feel better? Can I do something?” John asks, and you raise your eyebrows as you look at him. “No, I don’t mean like that. I mean, some pain medicine, or like…an ice pack?”

“No, John. I’m fine. I’m not hurt, you just…fucked my brains out.” you laugh and watch as John lifts on his shirt to show the hickey on his left pec, “Oh, I gave you one, too.”

“Yeah, so mine was payback. Or maybe yours was, I can’t remember. Again, lots of drinking.”

You sit up and finally see your ring again, and you smile as you look at it. “I almost forgot we got engaged last night.”

John looks over his shoulder at you and laughs, “You did not.”

You wrap your arms and legs around John’s waist and press kisses to his back, “I didn’t.”

John turns around and lays down on top of you as you wince. “Sorry.”

“My thighs just hurt so bad. You really…just went to town.”

“Me?” he pulls back and laughs, “Pretty sure it was you.”

“Uh, excuse me, you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself.” you say, and John’s hands immediately caress your breasts, “See?”

“Sorry.” he smiles, leaning down to kiss you.

“I love it.” you laugh and lean up to kiss John again, “I should go shower, huh?”

“Yeah.” he nods and helps you stand up. “As long as I can join you.”

__

The cafe that John chose was a cute and quaint little place that is tucked away in Oyster Bay. The patio was covered in flowers petals that were falling off of the trees when the wind blew, and there was even a cute little pond in the back that was full of colorful fish. The food was incredible, and you and John both ordered the same thing: french toast with a side of bacon.

Jimmy told your mom all about how his parents love Oyster Bay and how they have lived there his entire life, which then led your mom to mention that she would love to live here as well. You're not against it at all, but you don't want your mom living next door to you. It's enough that Tess walks in unannounced all the time now. Thankfully she's never caught you and John while you were...preoccupied.

Now that your bellies are full of food, you're headed back home to hang out for a bit on the patio since it's a nice warm day. You know your mom well, and you can tell that she's had something on her mind all morning, and you don't care what it'll take, you're getting it out of her.

Jimmy and your mom are riding back home together, so Tess is riding with you and John. She's sitting in the backseat and you can tell she’s dying to ask about how your night went, and when John reaches for your hand, she sits up in her seat.

“So, how much sex did you two have last night?”

You and John both start to giggle, and when you look over at him, his cheeks are flushed red from embarrassment. He squeezes your hand and brings to it his mouth to press a kiss to it.

“We had loads.” you laugh, and John’s cheeks grow even more red.

“Oh, man, Jimmy and I went all night long the night we got engaged, and the night we found out I was pregnant. I could hardly walk the next day.” she sits back in her seat and sighs, “Good times. I mean, we're still having just as much sex, if not more now, but you know, back then it was like...sex, rest, eat, sex, rest, sex.”

“Didn’t need to know that, Tess.” John laughs.

Tess leans back up and looks at John, “So, did she look good in everything we picked, John?”

He starts to blush even more, and you turn in your seat a little so you can see both him and Tess. John lets go of your hand and holds tight to the steering wheel as he laughs, “Yeah, she looked beautiful.”

“Black romper?” Tess asks, looking at you.

“Yup.” you nod.

“Knew it. How about that cherry lube? Pretty good, huh?” she says and leans forward to see John’s face, “Pretty tasty, isn’t it, John?”

“I liked it.” you say, smirking.

“It was alright. I mean, it tasted good, but I’d prefer to not use it. I like it better without, that’s for sure.” he says, and his eyes grow wide when he realizes what he’s said. “Uh…”

Tess sits back against the seat and holds her sides as she laughs. John looks over at you and shakes his head, stammering and trying to figure how to move the conversation on. Tess leans forward, leaning her head against John’s seat so she can see your face.

You bite your cheek to keep yourself from smiling, but when you look over at Tess, you smile wide, “He’s amazing, isn’t he?”

“Wow…” she exhales, “I love your fiance.”

“Okay, we’ve embarrassed him enough for today.” you laugh as John pulls into the driveway.

As you get out of the car, you hear Jimmy telling your mom his plan for his birthday party later this summer.

“So, I thought it would be fun to have a costume theme. You're definitely invited, mom.” Jimmy says, and you chuckle to yourself a little. He's always sucking up to your mom, which is kind of pointless since she already adores him. “Tess will have had Finn by then, so he'll probably be with my parents. But everyone who is so invited has to wear a costume.”

“A costume theme birthday party.” Tess laughs, patting Jimmy's chest, “My very adult husband.”  

Walking over hand in hand with John, you stop and study Jimmy's face for a moment. You've known him for almost a year and you don't even know how old he is. He's married to your sister, you'd think you'd know by now.

“I love a good costume party.” you say, then you look at John, “What are you going to be, stud?”

John scoffs a little, “I don't know, but I have plenty of time to think about it.”

You look back at Jimmy and furrow your brow a little, “Jimmy, I don't even think I know how old you are.”

Jimmy smiles, “I'll be 37.”

“Huh,” you nod your head slowly, “I never would have guessed, then again, I'm terrible with ages. I never even knew how old John was until I stumbled upon some papers one time.”

John squeezes your hand tight in his, and you look up at him to see his face full of concern. You've never mentioned his age to anyone before since it doesn't really concern you and it's not really anybody's business. You're fine with his age, why should anyone else be bothered about it?

Your mom sits down on the patio chair and squints her eyes slightly as she looks at John, “Jonathan, how old are you?”

John audibly gasps and looks over at you, “Uh, I'm...”

“Hey, you know what? Why don't John and I go and get some iced tea for you all and we'll come back out and talk about you moving here?” you say, pushing John through the patio door and closing it behind you. “Don't look back or say anything, she's still watching us.”

As soon as you and John get into the kitchen, you immediately start moving around the kitchen while he stands frozen in place.

“John, don't worry about it.”

“What if...what if she won't let you marry me? What if she takes back her blessing or something?” he says, leaning back against the counter and staring at the floor, “And I know you well, so I know you'd still try to marry me anyway, but I couldn't live with myself if you stopped talking to your mom because of me. And what about my job? What if she finds out about my job?”

You set out five glasses on a tray, then you grab out the pitcher of iced tea in the fridge, “She won't take back her blessing, are you kidding me? She loves you, John. You think she doesn't at least have an idea as to how old you are? Come on, she's not stupid.”

“Yeah,” he exhales as he looks up at you, “I just worry, because I love you and I need you in my life.”

“I love you too, John.” you walk back over to him and wrap your arms around his waist, “It'll be fine.”

John follows behind you as you walk back outside and set down the iced tea for everyone. Your mom is still watching John closely as he sits down on the love seat, and she smiles when he reaches for your hand and tucks you into his side.

Tess looks over at John and smirks, “So, John, how old are you?”

John looks down at his hands and sighs, “Um…”

“Oh, my god, he’s all nervous because he thinks mom is going to be grossed out and…take back her blessing.” you laugh and wrap your arm around John’s bicep.

“You’re making this worse, I hope you know that.” Tess laughs.

“I’m 50.” he says quietly, and Tess slams her hand on the table so hard that it causes the glasses to clink a little.

“No, you’re not.” she laughs loudly and scoots closer to look at John’s face, “You’re kidding?”

Your mom looks shocked as she sits back in her chair, “There’s no way.”

“Great genes.” Jimmy laughs.

“I thought you were late 30s.” your mom says, shaking her head.

You look at John and wink, “Pretty good looking for your age, well, any age really.”

“Imagine what he looked like when he was in his 20s.” Tess says, still staring at him, and your mom slaps her arm when she starts to fan herself.

“I didn’t even know his age when we met, I didn’t know for a while actually.” you say, and John looks over at you.

“Really?” he laughs, “I assumed you knew I was older than you.”

“Well, I knew that you were older than me, I had guessed that much.” you squeeze his arm and smile, “But no, I didn’t realize your age until a little while later.”

“When did you figure it out?” Jimmy asks.

“I had stumbled upon some papers with John’s information on it.” you look up at John and laugh, “I promise I wasn’t being nosey. John was away for work, and this was before I was even living here. I just went into his office for a piece of paper and…”

“You got nosey?” your mom laughs.

“I didn’t get nosey, I just…saw John’s name on a paper and was curious.” you look over at John and smile, “I saw your birth date on it and I didn’t care, it never even crossed my mind to be…grossed out or anything. I actually thought you were younger than you are, if I’m being honest. I had guessed 40s for sure, but 50, I never would have guessed.”

Your mom is still staring at John, and John looks over at you, grabbing your hand and intertwining his fingers with yours. She looks over at you and smiles as she watches the two of you.

“So, mom, what do you think?” you ask, then look back at John.

“I think Jonathan is very handsome, and I think he’s very good for you. The two of you obviously get on like a house on fire. He loves you very much and he takes good care of you, which I particularly love. He seems to be quite crazy about you. You’re an adult, you can do what you want.”

Tess is staring at John as she fans herself, “That’s hot, John. I’ve seen the way you move. I think your birth certificate was lying, because you are so…nimble and quick.”

“Tell that to my knees.” he laughs, then nods to you, “I gotta keep up with her though.”

You laugh and shake your head, “No, half the time, I’m out of breath and you’re perfectly fine. And yes, I realize what that sounds like I just implied, but I definitely didn't mean it that way. Although...”

“Oyster Bay was really nice.” your mom says, moving the conversation along since she can tell how uncomfortable John was getting. “I loved that cafe today.”

“Yeah, Oyster Bay is nice. I haven't really been there much since I've lived here though. Kind of just stay in Mill Neck.” you say, shrugging a little.

“Well,” your mom gestures to John and smiles, “I don’t blame you.”

Tess sticks out her tongue in disgust, “Gross, mom.”

“Oh, please. I didn’t mean it like that.” she laughs, then she looks around the yard, “How would you all feel if…I moved here?”

“What?” you look up at your mom in shock, “You…you wanna move here?”

She sits back in her chair and shrugs, “Dan and I want a change of scenery. We figured now would be a good time to move, with Tess being pregnant and all. Our only grand-baby would be here.”

You give your mom a blank stare and feel John’s hand on your knee. He squeezes it a few times to get your attention and he nods to your mom.

“What?”

“Tell her.” he whispers, then leans closer, “Tell her that we’re having a baby. I mean, we’re going to have a baby.”

You shake your head and look over to see her and Jimmy talking about work. Tess is watching the two of them, and she props her head up and smiles to herself.

You look back at John and sigh, “Not right now. I mean, I’m over the moon that we’re going to be having a baby eventually, but if I tell her, she will literally move here this minute.”

“So Oyster Bay is a nice town? Perfect for…old people, you say.” your mom starts to laugh and pats Jimmy’s cheek as he stutters.

“No, no, no, I mean,” he swallows hard and looks at John for help, “I mean, my parents love it there.”

“Mom, you’re more than welcome to stay with us while you look for a house here.” John says, and you nudge his arm. “Or not.”

“What are you doing?” you turn a little and shake your head, “She cannot stay with us.”

“I can hear you.” your mom laughs.

You look up at your mom and put up a finger, “One second. Tess, talk really loudly please.”

“So, mom!” Tess says loudly so you can talk to John.

“Why? Why can’t she move here? I’ll help her find a house and she’d be out within…a month.” John looks up at your mom, then back at you.

“You know why.” you say, moving your hand up his thigh more. He grabs your hand before it gets to his crotch, and he smiles wide as he leans down to kiss you. “See why it’s a bad idea?”

“I do now.” he nods, then leans in to kiss you again.

You hear your mom and Tess talking about the trip to Italy coming up in a few days, and your mom smiles when she looks over at you, “Look at you girls. Finally getting your trip to Italy.”

“I know.” you laugh and look over at John, “All because of this man. We never would have been able to afford it, well, let me not speak for Tess and Jimmy. They would have been able to go, but I never would have.”

“Jonathan, how is work?” your mom asks and raises her eyebrows, “Been busy lately? Catchin’ bad guys?”

You feel your heart sink into your stomach, and you press your hand to it to keep yourself from vomiting on the table. John stutters over his words and looks to you for support.

“Uh, yeah, it’s been good.” he nods, “Haven’t been…busy lately.”

“Really?” she leans against the table and props her hand up on her hands, “Can you tell me a bit more about your job? It sounds very interesting.”

“He can’t talk about it.” you say quickly and shrug when John looks at you. “Confidential stuff, you know?”

Your mom squints her eyes at you and nods her head, “Hmm, okay.”

“Fuck.” John says, under his breath. He grabs your hand and his eyes grow sad, “What’s going to happen when she figures it out?”

“Nothing.” you pat his cheek and give him a reassuring smile, “We’ll be okay.”

__

Tess wanted to show off Finn's room since she finally put the finishing touches on it, so you, your mom, and Tess headed over to look at it while John and Jimmy stayed back at the house because apparently John had something he needed to show Jimmy that just could not wait.

Finn's room is so sweet and cozy, and you're beyond excited for Tess to finally have him. He's due in just about a month or so, so your trip to Italy will be perfect for them since it'll be their last vacation as a family of two.

The three of you are now sitting in the living room talking, but you're mostly...listening. And worrying. Tess and your mom have been talking non stop about the baby, how he’s doing, what they have planned, the school they’ve already picked out for him, and what activities they’ll put him in. You know Tess is doing it so you don’t have to talk to your mom just yet about John's job, and you smile at her every time she looks at you.

“Honey,” your mom says, turning in her seat to look at you, “You know I don’t think any differently of Jonathan now that I know his age, right?”

“Yeah,” you nod and look up at her, “He was just so worried. I wasn’t though. I know you’ll support us either way.”

“Of course. He’s good for you, and you’re very good for him. I think you two are very well matched, and I still adore him.” she says and reaches for your hand, “And this whole job thing…”

You sigh and look down, “Yeah.”

“Stop worrying about it.” Tess laughs, and your mom smiles.

Looking out the window, you see John and Jimmy walking across the street, so you get up so you can talk to John for a moment before you potentially ruin your entire life when your mom finds out your future husband is an assassin.

“Hey, sis.” Jimmy smiles as he walks past, then he pats your shoulder.

A smile tugs at your lips when you watch John walking over to you with Bleu at his side, and it’s giving you flashbacks to the day you met him. The sun is hanging behind John just like it was that very first day, but this time you won't be an idiot and squint your eyes so much. You move to the side a little so the sun isn't in your eyes, and you smile when you look at John.

“Hey, I’m John.” he says, reaching out for your hand, then he gestures down to Bleu, “This is Bleu.”

You take his hand in yours and smile, “Hi.”

“Seen you around for a while and I think you’re really cute, so I thought why not come introduce myself to you?”

“As if you would have ever said that to me, you were so not that suave when we met.” you laugh, and John nudges your chin. “You were so shy, and you literally just said hi and then left.”

“Hey, I was nervous.” he laughs as he leans down to kiss you, “Did your mom say anything to you?”

“She mentioned your age again. Said she didn’t care about it and that she still adores you. You know, I'm starting to think that maybe my mom likes you more than she likes me.”

John shakes his head and smiles, “She’s watching us from the window.”

“She’s dying to know about this job thing.”

John lets go of you and sighs loudly, “Yeah…”

You take John’s hand in yours as you walk into the house to see Jimmy, Tess, and your mom sitting in the living room, and when Bleu sees your mom, he quickly runs over to greet her and does his best pit bull smile.

“He loves you, mom.” John says, sitting down next to Jimmy on the couch.

You take a deep breath and look down at your hands as they shake, “So…”

John looks up at you and shakes his head, “It needs to come from me.”

You all sit there in silence, trying to figure out where to start, and you hear John sigh again. He reaches for your hand and presses a kiss to it as your mom watches on.

“He’s an assassin.” Tess blurts out and throws up her hands, “There. It’s out there.”

“Tess!” you scold her, shaking your head.

“What?! You were taking too long and making this so much worse. You can be mad at me all you want, but I said it and now mom knows.”

You look over at your mom, who is sitting back in the chair staring at John. She opens her mouth to talk several times, but doesn’t say anything. She leans forward and reaches for your hand as she starts to laugh.

“He’s a what?”

“A hit-man.” Jimmy says, happily. “You know like…‘I want you to kill this guy, and I’ll give you a lot of money to do it’. That kind of thing.”

“He’s a good man, mom.” you say and reach out to touch John’s shoulder.

“I never said he wasn’t a good man.” she says and looks at John, “I think you’re wonderful.”

“I love him and he loves me.” you say, and you almost want to laugh at how stupid you sound.

You know you sound like a teenager defending her high school boyfriend, but you don’t care. You want to defend your relationship, but most of all, you want to defend John because you know no one has ever fought for him before.

“You said earlier that I’m an adult and I can do what I want, and I want to marry him. I want to be with him. He’s never been anything but good to me. He’s kind, sweet, and intelligent, and he’s the best man I’ve ever met.” you say, feeling John tap your leg repeatedly. “He’s good to me.”

“Okay.” your mom nods.

“He treats me better than anyone has ever treated me. He respects me, he doesn't cheat on me, he makes me happy. You should be happy that I'm with a man like him. And his job, that...that doesn't even matter. It's not even a big deal anymore.” you say, and you watch as the four of them try to hold in their laughter, “Why are you all laughing at me?”

John pats the spot next to him and scoots over for you to sit down, “It’s okay.”

“What?”

“She knows.” he says and looks at your mom as he smiles, “She’s known for a few days now, but I think she knew before that.”

You cover your face with your hands as you start to cry from embarrassment, and John immediately wraps his arms around you. Your mom reaches out to touch your hand, and you back away a little.

“Sweetheart, did you really think I believed you when you tried to convince me he was in the FBI? You’re my daughter, I know when you’re lying.”

John presses kisses to your head and he lets out a small laugh, “It’s okay, mouse.”

“Do you realize how much you've all just embarrassed me?” you say and get up from the couch to head for the bathroom.

Almost immediately after locking yourself in the bathroom, you hear someone knocking on the door. It could any of them, but right now you’re kind of hoping it’s Tess. You know this whole thing was her idea. You unlock the door and to your surprise, John quickly slips in.

“I’m sorry.” he laughs and hugs you, but you shove him away a little. “Are you really that mad at me?”

“Yes! John, my mom just found out that you're a fucking assassin. I know she's understanding, I know that. Trust me, Tess and I told her many things that we've done, and my mom never judged us. She always understood, but...”

John squints his eye a little, “Well, underage drinking in high school is a little different from this.”

You give John a disapproving look, and he grimaces as he laughs quietly. You sigh loudly and look up at him, “You realize that I was ready to throw everything away just to be with you? If my mom had been upset about this, I would have stayed with you no matter what. Even if that meant that I would never talk to her again.”

“I know, I would never let you do that, but yeah...” he nods, reaching for your hand, “I know. But she knows now, and she...understands.”

“Was this Tess’ idea?” you ask, and John shakes his head.

“It was…my idea.” he says, unsure of his answer.

You cock up your eyebrow and lean back against the wall, “Jonathan, why would you do this to me? Did you want to see if I would defend you to my mom? I don’t get it.”

“No,” he shakes his head, “I just wanted to be funny, but I guess I did this the wrong way.”

“Ya think?” you laugh and tilt your head back. “No more jokes like this. How would you like if I was like ‘oh, hey, I’m pregnant!’ and then a few hours later, I was like ‘oh, just kidding. Jokes on you’. You wouldn’t like that.”

“Yeah, I would hate that.” he nods, then leans down to kiss you and his hands cup your face. “I apologize, okay? I’m sorry.”

“You've spent way too much time with Tess these past few weeks.”

John laughs quietly as he leans in to kiss you again, and you open your eyes to see John staring at you in awe. He leans back in to kiss you, then he kisses your cheek repeatedly.

“You know I’m going to have to get you back for this, right?”

“Oh, I know you will.” he laughs and opens the door, then he reaches for your hand.

Your mom is upstairs looking in the baby’s room again with Tess and Jimmy, and you and John head upstairs to join them. When you walk in the room, your mom turns around and smiles at you.

“I told you that I love Jonathan.” she says, cupping your face. “And I told you that I don’t think any differently of him. I did tell him that I don’t need to know every detail, which I’m sure he’s more than happy to hear.”

“I just love him a lot, mom.” you tear up and put your hand over your mouth when your chin begins to wobble, “More than I’ve ever loved anyone.”

She nods her head and smiles, “I know, baby.”

“How are you okay with this?” you ask, shaking your head a little, “I'm glad you are, but I mean, isn't it a lot to take in?”

Your mom laughs as she nods her head, “It is. It definitely is, but I don't know, there's just something about Jonathan. I trust him. He's always sweet to me, and he treats you wonderfully. He sure seems to like Tess as well, which I know is a big thing for you. I've seen the way he is with you, I talk to him on the phone sometimes, and I hear the way he talks about you. And I hear the way you talk about him. The way you talk about him tells me everything I need to know about Jonathan. He's a good man.”

As you start to tear up, John stands next to you and puts his arm around your shoulder. You knew your mom would understand, but actually hearing that she’s going to support you and John no matter what is all you’ve ever wanted.

“I mean, I don’t get it – his job – but it’s not my job to get. Yes, of course, I was concerned at first, but he made a pretty damn good argument.” your mom smiles and nods to John as she tears up, “This man…loves you, I have never doubted that. From the very first time I met him, I knew. And I believe him when he says he’ll never let anything happen to you. You mean the world to him.”

“She does.” John nods and presses a kiss to your head.

“It’s hot. Isn’t it, mom?” Tess says and nudges your mom.

“Well, I don’t know about that, he’s going to be my son-in-law.” she shakes her head and looks at Tess, “And he’s your brother, stop saying things like that to him.”

“Never.” Tess pouts and sits down in the rocking chair, “Oh, little bub is moving around in there.”

Jimmy kneels down next to her and puts both hands on her stomach, “Hi, bub, what are you up to in there? Just hangin’ out? I got a new book to read to you tonight.”

Tess looks up at you and smiles as her tears fill with eyes, “Wanna feel?”

You put your hand on Tess’ belly and pull your hand back when you feel it move, “Oh, my god.” you kneel down next to Jimmy and put both hands on her stomach and look up at Tess with tears in your eyes, “Oh, my god, he’s just moving around in there.”

She looks at Jimmy and smiles, “He loves hearing his daddy talk to him. He’s very active when Jimmy reads to him at night. He’ll move around so much, then after he’s done with the book, Jimmy rubs my belly until he stops moving and I just…pass out.”

You look over your shoulder at John and wave him over, “You have to feel this.”

John kneels next to you and puts his hand on Tess’ belly, and you laugh when you see how big his hands still are compared to Tess’ growing belly.

“Wow.” he says and looks up at Tess, “This is amazing.”

“Yeah.” she looks at you and smiles. Your mom is too busy looking through the baby book Tess has to pay attention to you all, and Tess leans forward a little to whisper, “Have you told mom yet? That you and John want kids?”

“No, we haven’t. John and I were just talking about that, I don’t know if it’s the right time.”

“Tell her.” she says, pushing you a little. “Its the perfect time, you dork!”

You stand up and fix your dress, “Uh, mom...”

“Yes?” she says, still looking at the book.

“Uh, John and I have something to tell you.” you say, and she quickly closes the book to look at you. John wraps his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him and you put your arm around his waist. “Well, a little while back, I’ll be honest, I had a…pregnancy scare and it prompted a discussion between me and John, and…”

“Well, you two weren’t being safe? Condoms at least?” she says, and Tess immediately starts laughing hysterically. “I thought you were still taking birth control.”

“Mom! Oh, my god.” you hide your face in John’s chest and feel him laughing. “Why would you say something like that?”

“Well, I’m just wondering.” she says, and you see her wink at Tess.

“You two really never miss an opportunity to embarrass me, do you?” you shake your head and look up at John, “Anyway, John and I decided that we want kids. Well, at least one, we never talked about how many.”

“Seven.” John says with a completely straight, and you nearly fall over. He starts to laugh and he shakes his head, “Just kidding.”

Your mom looks back and forth between the two of you and smiles wide, “So, are you…?”

“Pregnant?” you laugh and shake your head, “No. Well, not that I know of at least.”

John looks down at you, then reaches out to touch your stomach, “Wait…”

“Yeah, I’ve been really nauseous lately, so…” you look over at Tess and she starts to smirk.

John moves to stand in front of you, both hands now on your stomach and he smiles, “Have you taken a test?”

“No,” you shake your head and push his hands away, “I’m kidding.”

John rolls his eyes and nudges your shoulder, “That’s not very nice.”

“Oh, and what you just did to me 5 minutes ago was?” you say, then you roll your eyes jokingly at John.

__

The rest of the day was pretty fun, and John and Jimmy ended up going to a bar later in the evening so you and Tess could spend some time with your mom. Your mom asked a few questions about John's job that she wanted your answer to, and you were fine to give her the answers. She, of course, asked if you've ever felt unsafe, and of course, the answer was no. You told her that John has always been really good at separating his job and his home life, and you told her that John rarely works now anyway. You weren't entirely sure how much John had told your mom in the first place, but you made it pretty clear that no one would be dumb enough to mess with John again after all he's been through.

Tess went on a big rant about how cool John is, and how your mom shouldn't worry about anyone ever getting hurt because John is such a force to be reckoned with. He's Baba Yaga. No one is dumb enough to mess with his family.

At the last minute, your mom decided to stay with Jimmy and Tess again, which you and John are thankful for. John is just in the bathroom brushing his teeth and changing into your pajamas, and you're changing into yours as well.

You quickly change and hop into bed as John walks back out wearing some light blue pajama pants and no shirt. “Look, my peach shirt!”

“Ooh, that does look good, and those shorts look amazing.”

You kneel on the bed and reach out for John, “I can’t believe I get to marry you. Look at you.”

“Look at you.” John says and backs away to look at you. “Amazing.”

The two of you wrap your arms around each other, and you smile as John’s hands travel down to your ass, squeezing and spanking you as he bites his lip.

“Thanks for defending me earlier, even though you didn’t need to.” he says and crawls under the blankets, “It was so hot. I especially liked the part where you said that you loved me and I loved you.”

“You ass.” you playfully slap John’s leg, and he laughs. “That was so mean.”

“It was, I’m sorry.” he laughs and leans forward to kiss you, “But we thought it would be funny to play a joke on you. I would lie and say it was Tess’ idea, but it was mostly mine.”

You shake your head at John, “Did my mom know your age, or was that all an act too?”

“No, she really didn’t know.” he says, letting out a sweet laugh, “I really was worried about my age though and how she’d react.”

“So, when did you tell my mom?”

John sits back against the headboard and pulls you into his arms, “Well, remember how I just got home from another job a few days ago?”

“Yeah…”

“Well, I lied to you. I’m sorry.” he starts to laugh, and you look up at him, “I went to your mom’s and stayed with her.”

“But that doesn’t make sense…” you say and sit up a little, “Because when you came home, you didn’t have your car, and you had a big cut on your forehead.”

“I left my car with Aurelio so that you wouldn’t suspect anything. You’re catching on to things quickly. Again, I’m sorry for lying to you.” he says and kisses your cheek, “I just needed to go to your mom’s without you knowing.”

“And the cut?” you say and move John’s hair away from his face to see the cut on his hairline, “What about that?”

“Well, I guess Dan hurt his back and he couldn’t do all this yard work for her, and I figured since I was there, I might as well do it. Plus I am going to be her son-in-law and I gotta get in her good graces.” he laughs, then reaches up to touch his forehead, “Anyway, I was helping her move some stuff in the basement when this big shelf fell and hit me in the face.”

“Baby!” you laugh and move John’s hair to press a kiss to his forehead, “My poor guy. You’re a mess when I’m not around.”

“I am,” he laughs, holding you in place to kiss you, “But your mom was there to help.”

“She was so worried, wasn’t she?”

“She was.” he laughs and pulls you back into his arms, “She gave me an ice pack and made me sit down on the couch, gave me some tea and cookies. She even made sure I didn’t have a concussion, used a little flashlight to look in my eyes. I’ve never received any medical care like that before, not even at The Continental; those cookies were so good.”

“She was a nurse for like, 30 years.” you look up at John and laugh, “So you just stayed with my mom?”

“Yeah.”

“Was Dan there?” you ask and sit up again to look at John.

“He was there. He was there when I asked for your mom’s blessing again.” John cups your face and kisses you, “He really loves you.”

“Yeah,” you shake your head and laugh, “Yeah, he does. Uh, I’m sorry, I’m just…I can’t believe you just stayed with her. Where did you even sleep?”

“Your room, your bed is really comfortable. Your mom had set up the guest bedroom for me, but I guess something happened at Leah’s apartment, so she’s been staying with your mom. Your mom pulled me aside and said you’d be pissed if Leah stayed in your room, so she let me have it.

You look up at John and furrow your brow, “Leah…has been staying with my mom?”

“Yeah, they got along really well.” he says, and you automatically roll your eyes. “She was really nice to me.”

You give John a blank stare and shake your head, “Of course she was. I’m sure she loved being around you while I wasn’t there, and I’m sure she tried to flirt with you.”

“Don’t worry, I locked the bedroom door at night.” he laughs, pulling you back into his arms, “She wasn’t flirting with me or anything.”

“John, I could literally take my top off right now and shake my chest in your face, and you’d still think I wasn’t flirting with you. You’re oblivious.”

John laughs, “Wanna give it a shot?”

You look up at John and sigh, “I’m sorry, I just don’t trust her.”

“Understandable.” he says, then grabs your hand, “But you’re wearing this ring, not her.”

You shove John away as you laugh, “Well, I didn’t say you were going to marry her, I just don’t trust her.”

“I get that.” he says, pressing a kiss to your temple, “She did say that she was happy for you though.”

“Yeah, I’m sure she is.” you say sarcastically. “She’s just happy that she gets to see you at every family gathering we go to. Probably going to try to hit on you again.”

“Stop. I think we made it very clear at Tess' wedding that nothing was going to come between us.” John laughs as you look up at him again, “And we barely even talked. She wasn’t really there that much, only in the morning and by the time I went to bed at night, she wasn’t even home yet. And even if she was there, I’m not like that. The way she talked to you the night of Tess’ wedding, the way she treats you. I don’t like her.”

“You know that I trust you, right? You don’t have to try and convince me that you’re not going to do that.”

“Yeah,” he nods and grabs your hand, rubbing his thumb over your ring, “I just hate the thought of you thinking I could ever do something like that to you.”

You sit between John’s legs and cup his face, “I don’t think that. Now tell me about when you told my mom.”

John smiles and looks at your ring again, “Well, I showed her your ring and she nearly fainted. She was so worried about how I was going to pay for it, and when I told her that I had already paid for it, her face went as white as a ghost.”

“Yeah, she doesn’t understand how we afford all of this.” you say, gesturing to your room.

“Well, she does now.” he laughs and leans forward to kiss you, “Want to know how she took the news?”

“Yeah, I’m actually really curious.”

“Well, she asked how work was going and I told her that it was good. I told her that you thought I was gone for work because it was the only way I could get away without you being suspicious.” he says and pulls your legs around his waist, “Then I just told her that I love you more than anything, and I made sure that she knew that I would always protect you. Made a very big deal about all that.”

“Shed a tear or two?”

John smiles and shrugs bashfully, “Yeah. I just always want your mom to know how much I love you, and how much you mean to me.”

“She knows.” you smile, holding John’s gaze, “So, then you just came out and said you were an assassin?”

John starts to smile and he laughs softly, “I told her that I had a very…interesting job. She pressed further, and I just told her that, yeah, I was a hit-man, an assassin.”

The two of you stare at each other for a moment before you burst out laughing. “Feels weird to say out loud, doesn’t it? Assassin.”

“Yeah, a little.” he nods.

“I think it’s hot.” you smile and lean forward to kiss John, “Yeah, my boyfriend could literally kill you in three seconds because he's an assassin.”

John clears his throat and holds up your hand, showing you your engagement ring, “Excuse me…”

“My fiance. I’m sorry, it’s taking some time to get used to.” you say, and John quickly pecks your cheek. “So, what did my mom say?”

“That it was interesting.” he laughs and pulls you closer, “I told her how long I had been in it, how I wasn’t taking dangerous jobs -- well, not as dangerous anymore, how I didn’t hurt good people. I told her everything, but again, I made sure she knew that you would always be safe, same with Tess. No harm will ever come to you, our babies, Tess, or her kids. You’re safe. You’re my family, and you’re safe.”

“My mom is pretty cool, isn’t she?”

“She’s very understanding, I see where you get it. I thanked her over and over for being so understanding, and she told me that it was honorable what I did. That me going there and telling her was how she knew that I truly love you.’ he says, and he gets a little choked up. “I was nervous that she was going to tell me to stay away from you.”

“Never, Jonathan. She knows how much I love you.”

“And she knows how much I love you.” he says and scoots down the bed, pulling you on top of him. “But like she said earlier, she was already figuring it out anyway. You’re a terrible liar.”

“Whatever, I’m a great liar.” you sit up and cross your arms as John laughs.

“Okay, mouse.”

You lean over to light the candle next to the bed, and John’s hands rest firmly on your hips as he watches you. You turn off the lamp and lean back down to kiss John.

“I think it’s time for you, Jonathan Wick, to make love to me.” you say and take off your top as John’s eyes and hands scan your body.

John leans close to your face and smiles, “Are you flirting with me?”

Rolling your eyes, you lean down more so you can kiss John, then you shake your chest a little, “Yes.”

“Okay, well, as long as you're flirting with me.” he says, then he crawls on top of you and tickles your sides as the two of you fill the bedroom with laughter.

__

taglst: @tnu-ree​ @dangerouslystrangecrown​ @weird-civilian​ @ladiesofamidala​ @callmeglenncoco @ficsnroses​ @sanctuarygirl​ @meetmeinthematinee​ @jessicajones616​ @artistic-discontentment @cheekybluefox​ @jazzyboo2001 @starsstripesandthesouth​ @a-small-independent-princess​ @thepastrecedes01​ @rubywantsafuitgummy​ @sterekislyf​ @lostandfaceless​

[affectionatealien]

Your Heart is a Garden

Summary: Habit’s had something on his mind, and tries to do a little gardening to distract himself. It’s a bit obvious though he can’t quite focus on anything else like he wants to.

Warnings: None

A/N: Another fic of my flower protag/ insert and habit! This time it’s long sappy confession junk bc I’ve been dying to write this out ;v; 

Mountain air seemed to be so refreshing in the morning like this. It seeped in through the windows Boris opened while he busied himself in the kitchen, and crept into the living room while I usually tried to prepare to be awake for the day.

 However, it took me awhile of laying on the futon to realize there was no mountain air, or kitchen bustle to wake up to. I hadn't woken up that late had I? No, a glance at the clock assured me it was still early. Still trying to rub the sleep out of my eyes I got up, peeked into Boris's room since he'd left the door open. Not there either. Odd, especially for him. 

I had to catch myself as worry threatened to bubble up- Boris was probably just down in the garden, or, somewhere else in what was left of the habitat. Of course. Besides, it was silly to worry about him not being here just one morning... Perhaps a little time to myself could be a good thing, after all! 

Making breakfast was easy enough with something simple like toast and cereal, and now my mind could wander to what I'd spend the rest of the day doing. Maybe I could watch that one movie I'd been waiting to check out... Ah, no, I wanted to save it for me and Boris to watch. Games? No, I'd already beaten most of what I had and just liked doing two player stuff with Boris when he was in the mood for it. Art? Now that could work... Ever since I'd come to stay here, my inspiration had spiked like I hadn't seen in years. It was refreshing to make something I didn't hate as soon as I was done with it...

Flopping back onto the couch, I fished out the sketchbook that was always hidden away under it or in a crevice somewhere, depending on how tired I was when I stashed it. Opening it, I was met with what I was last working on... A page full of sketches of different blossoms, ones found in the garden me and Boris had been tending to so carefully. Among them, was a single sketch of the tall russian man himself- carefully cutting a rose blossom from a bush. I'd almost forgotten about it, about watching him look so tender and focused and the urge to capture it that was impossible to ignore. And something about it feels so embarrassing and... Alien about it, I close the sketchbook again, any previous ideas gone. Damn.

Perhaps it wasn't a bad idea to go down to the garden anyways. I just needed some fresh air and sunshine maybe, certainly that would clear my head, help me pass the time. And if Boris was down there I could check on him. Maybe even work in the garden with him a little. It'd be much better than being so listless up here. I just had to actually finish getting ready for the day first...

Coming down from the apartment through the boiler room, I found myself in the courtyard, now repurposed into a garden and fully in bloom. It was something Boris had truly put his heart and soul into since he closed the Habitat for good, and it had really shown in even just the past couple of months I'd been here.

 Blossoms of all shapes and colors and sizes made a meandering maze, one I'd learned to navigate by memory at this point. The only hard part would be finding Boris- he was prone to attending to the plants in a somewhat flighty manner, never too still before finding another plant that needed his love and affection (and maybe some fertilizer). 

With that in mind, it was pretty surprising when I found him sitting in one of the nooks formed by a gathering of hydrangea bushes, a single potted flower in his lap. He didn't seem to being so much gardening as he was letting himself get lost in thought. 

"Boris?" I called out, moving carefully past some recently planted bushes. His head snapped up upon hearing his name, and that surpised look lingers a little too long, like he's in a daze. But it quickly disappeared, giving way to a soft smile upon recognizing it was just me. But, there was more to it... The way his smile is just a little too tired for this time of the morning. Almost forlorn...

"Ah! Finn... I didnn't expect you to come down. Did you need som-thing...?" He asked. I shook my head, instead opting to take a seat in the cool grass next to him.

"Just wanted to check on ya. Not used to seeing you down here this early I guess..." I explained. And in the moment I want to tell him how lonely mornings without him feel, but it'd be too much. So instead I lingered, waited for him to say something so I could forget about it.

"I see... Sorry, I didn't mean to worrie you. I just needed some time to think I suppose... The garden seams to be a good place for that." His gaze had returned to the flowering plant in front of him, like looking into it would help him eventually have some grand epiphany about whatever seemed to bother him.

  "Yeah, I get what you mean... And, y'know you can talk to me too. It's what friends are for right?" He didn't answer right away- leaving an uncomfortable pause hanging in the air.

"Yeah... Of course." Even as plainly as he tried to say it, there's still a tinge of pain to it. It wasn't a tone I'd heard from him in awhile, which was particularly worrying. He'd never had issues talking to me about what was on his mind in the past, why start now? Was it me, something I'd done? 

We continued to sit in silence, nerves wracked as I desperately wanted anything else to replace the silence that soured the fresh morning air. Anything that could change the mood, or subject... 

My eye was drawn to what looked like a flower bush Boris had been planning to plant. A hole already dug for it, it just needed to be reburied and whatever other tending it needed. "U-uh... I noticed that bush it looks like you were gonna replant. Did you want any help with that? Or, really, anything else out here? ... Since I'm out here and all!" I asked. Still staring into the flower, he shook his head. 

"I appreciate it, but I think it will be fine for now." He sighed, placing the flower in his lap to the side. "...I'm really not doing anything out heer. I should probably go back inside." Boris stood, dusting his coat off- only to freeze again as my hand darted to the hem of it, like my body was on autopilot. He stared down at me, expression somewhere between startled and anticipation. I had to say something now, I couldn't just let him go without saying anything-

"Boris. Please tell me what's wrong. If it's something I did we can talk about it... You're my friend, I need to know if I messed up, or if I can fix it-" His face furrowed into a pained expression as he continued to stand, frozen, looking like he can't even sort out his own words. This continued until he sighed, resigned, and knelt back into the grass beside me.

"You didn't do anything. I promis. It's just how... Exactly that. You're my closest friend, and it means a lot to b here with you, through everything... But... Is it, ah... Is it wrong to want... More?" He asked. His question brought back plenty of thoughts- almost all of them about how he's always so close, how he lets me sit in his lap when we play games together, or how his comforting hugs never seem to last long enough no matter how long we sit there. The way I'll hope and wish a late night movie marathon will put him to sleep so we have an excuse to wake up the next morning together. But that was just Boris being... Boris isn't it? Of course he'd be close with his first real friend like this. I'm reading into it too much. Even with him, in front of me, staring at me with nothing but longing in his eyes. It was too scary, too exhilarating to think it could be anything else, it had to be. 

"I-I'm sorree. This is selfish. I shouldn't- you shouldn't have to answer that. We can just-" He shifted again to get up, only to freeze when I spoke up.

"Boris... I-It's not. It's okay. Especially when people... Mean so much. But it can be.... scary you know?" He nodded, understandingly. His gaze had lifted from the spot on the ground in front of him, attention on me. 

"Do you think it's worth it? Even if it's scarey?" He asked. Now it was my turn for my stare to wander to the grass beneath me, unsure what the correct answer was. 

"I don't... know, really. Guess you just have to find out sometimes." I said. It wasn't much of an answer, but it was all I had. "Boris... Could I... Kiss you? I want to know." At first he didn't, perhaps couldn't say anything- and slowly, he gave a very deliberate nod. He fumbled across the grass, side to side with me, and even sitting down towered over me. It certainly wasn't intimidating though, not with how he squeezed his eyes shut, leaned forward, tense. Not quite sure what to do with his body. Waiting. I leaned up to him, careful as lips met- god his face was so warm. And for a moment, I'm the only one leaned into the kiss, as he remained still, like he wasn't sure how he felt. Enough to have made me waver too, close to pulling away and apologizing. What a stupid idea. But at the last moment it was like he'd come to life, pressing feverishly into the kiss. And for a moment I know what it feels like to be a flower in bloom, face to face with the sunlight it needs so much.

It was dizzying how fast he went from frozen in place to practically fumbling into my lap, hands grasped over my shoulders, nudging his way further into the kiss. It was nervous, inexperienced, and downright heavenly the way his mouth clumsily pressed into mine. My hands buried into the soft fuzzy collar of his coat as I matched his fevered passion, and it only drove me further on as he whined into the kiss at even the hint of my touch. Time was slow, or maybe just didn't mean anything for the longest time as he melts into the kiss, unsure frozen hands slowly moving to pull me flush against him, a warm embrace so much like all the ones he'd given me before but.... more this time, one that didn't leave me feeling like I was still missing something. 

Boris was the first to break the kiss- his hands didn't move, and he's still staring at me, like the rest of him is still catching up with what was happening. He wasn't quite panting- but he drew these deep, long breaths, clutched to me like I'd fall into nothing if he dared let go. 

"Still... Scar-ed?" He asked. I shook my head and chuckled, which made a warm smile ease onto his face. 

"No.... This is good. It's, uh. Wow. Kinda exhilarating, I think." His smile turned wide at that, showing off that characteristic, cute crooked row of pearly whites of his- and now it was my turn to be the flustery one out of the two of us. 

"Are u shure? Maybie... We should do it again so we're doublie sure..." Boris hinted. It only took a short nod for him to lean back in, hands cupped on either side of my face. He pulled me up, ever so gently into another kiss, but not as pushy or urgent- this time it was deep, slow. He was still a bit hesitant about what to do with his mouth, but god it didn't matter, not with how soft and deliberate he was while I clung to him. Surrounded by the garden we'd poured our hearts into, and now pouring into each other, it almost felt unreal, the only thing that kept me grounded was Boris's thumb stroking gentle circles against my cheek, and every other little sensation of him against me. 

Boris pulled away again, giving a satisfied hum as he did- he looked like he was in as dreamy of a daze as I had been in. His clawed hand pushed a strand of hair from my face ever so carefully, eyes fixated on me. 

"Boris..." I started. A pause. I knew what I wanted to say but it felt stuck in my throat, awkward to say. So instead I opted to bury my face in his coat collar, soaking in his scent, thinking those words again, and again, and again. "... I love you." His arms squeezed around me, tight, warm, unyielding. I felt him rest his head on top of mine, face nuzzled into my hair. 

"Ah, flower..... I lov you, too. I love you a lott..." And I can hear it in his voice- after all the hard work he's poured into making the garden around him flourish and bloom, his heart has done the same, alongside mine. 

His embrace loosened, prompting me to look up at him. That goofy smile of his was still there- for someone who fretted about his teeth so much previously, it was amazing how gorgeous it was. So handsome. So very, well, him. 

And I couldn't help the laughter that bubbles up next, but it didn't matter, not with how it spread so quickly to Boris too, just as relieved and giddy as I was, and perhaps still wandering if this was a dream like I had been. 

"Ah, if onlee you had said somthing sooner... There were som lovelie lillies in bloom I daydreamed about giv-ing you, you knowe." He confessed. I smiled, and patted his arm reassuringly. 

"Oh, Boris- don't worry, they'll have time to bloom again. And I'll be here, still." I promised. And the smile he gave me was perhaps the sweetest I'd ever seen on him.

[ahtohallan-calling]

chapter 8 of love is the only thing we can carry with us (kristanna slowburn/angsty but cute/no magic au, rated t) is up!

next chapter // all chapters

“About time you got here!” she called, laughter in her voice. “It feels like I’ve been waiting for hours.”

He came to a stop just as he reached the peak of the hill. “Well, if you’re going to be like that, I might as well turn around and go back…”

“Don’t you dare!” she ordered, no longer able to restrain her excitement as she flew off the porch and ran to him, flinging her arms around his waist. 

Stunned, he stood frozen for a moment before hugging her back, pulling her close against his chest. Surely she had to hear the way his heart was ricocheting off his ribcage, the way his breathing had quickened, but if she did, she didn’t care. 

“I missed you, too,” he whispered, feeling her arms tighten around him in response.

“Are you sure you feel like going up there, Kris? You still look pretty gross to me.”

“I’m fine, Olaf.”

“I’m just saying, you seem pretty pale and weak and stuff. I would get back in b–”

The boy’s protests were cut off by a shriek of glee when strong arms swept him high off the ground. Olaf whooped as Kristoff set him on his broad shoulders with a grin.

“Do I still seem weak now?” he teased.

Olaf clapped. “Do it again! But flip me this time!”

“Even I have my limits, bud. But you can stay up there while I finish getting my stuff together.”

“Okay!”

Kristoff hummed to himself as he finished filling up his satchel with what he might need for the day. His lips curved into a soft smile as he picked up the mug Anna had loaned him, running his thumb gently over the rim, wondering if she’d ever used this one herself, if her mouth had lingered there. 

“Kristoff! I have a question!”

Startled, he nearly dropped the mug. “Olaf, you really don’t have to shout all the time.”

“Yes I do. Just now I had to say your name two times before you listened.”

Kristoff sighed and carefully began wrapping the mug in a spare rag and tucking it into the satchel. “What is it?”

“Can I go with you?”

“Not this time. You’ve got to help Grandpapa, remember? You’re helping him run errands and then going to talk to Gothi about taking over my job.”

“But I thought I was the new helper.”

“You are. Just sometimes…I don’t know, if something happens with Anna, and Grandpapa can’t go, then he can.”

“Why can’t you just do it? I thought you liked her. If you don’t like her, then why did you send her so many letters?”

“Why do you ask so many questions?” Kristoff asked, reaching up to tickle Olaf until the boy giggled and clambered down, running into the next room to escape the torment.

In truth, he and his grandfather both knew there would be little need for Gothi to actually do anything. Anna’s condition had been improving to the point that she no longer needed to be kept under a watchful eye every day, so long as she continued following Grandpapa’s advice, even when it meant choking down little vials of sludgy brown medicine. 

For the long term, the outlook was still bleak, a thought that still felt like a punch to the gut every time it crossed Kristoff’s mind. But for now, Anna was well and whole as she could be, and after a week of being cooped up indoors with a particularly nasty cold, so was he. And he was going to see her again, because he had promised– because she wanted him to.

Unconsciously he ran his hand over his pocket, where he’d put the letter she had sent with Olaf yesterday. Yes. I can’t wait. See you tomorrow. I’ve missed you.

He didn’t know why he was holding onto such an unimportant note; it was a grubby little piece of paper, clearly written in a rush, smudged with dirt from where she’d been working in the garden with Olaf. He knew what it said, so he had no need to re-read it, though he had done so at least half a dozen times. 

He heard a small cough and looked up to see his grandfather leaning in the doorway, wearing a look of concern that was starting to seem permanent. It hadn’t budged since Kristoff had burst in saying he couldn’t take care of Anna anymore. He’d spilled it all out to his grandfather, explaining how he’d found Anna weeping outside in the storm, how they remembered each other, how it was starting to feel wrong to accept payment from the queen to take care of someone he considered a friend– and how he was starting to fear his affection for Anna might cloud his judgment. 

He had talked so long– unusual for him– that his grandfather had insisted he stay the night, which had turned out to be a blessing in disguise when Kristoff had woken up the next morning burning with fever. Even then, Grandpapa’s frown hadn’t been quite as deep as it was now.

“Thanks again for letting me stay here,” Kristoff said, shouldering his bag.

The old man nodded slowly. “I’m your grandfather. I could hardly throw you back out into the storm shivering with fever and hacking up a lung.”

Kristoff started for the door, but his grandfather didn’t move; instead, he held up a hand. “Are you sure about this, son? I worry about the harm it may cause.”

“We talked about this yesterday, Grandpapa. We’re going to go really slowly, and I’ll watch her, and we’ll turn back the second she starts having a hard time. It’ll be okay.”

“I wasn’t talking about the princess.”

Kristoff shifted uncomfortably where he stood. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said. “We’re just going on a walk.”

His grandfather nodded, stepping aside. “Be careful, all the same,” he said, and Kristoff, feeling a sudden burst of affection, leaned down to hug him.

“Always am, aren’t I?” he said, hoping he sounded cheerful, as he pulled away and headed for the front door. “You be careful, too. Don’t let Olaf steer the wagon, no matter how much he begs.”

“I’d sooner jump in a frozen lake. That would be a lot less foolish.”

—

Summer was finally coming to the mountain. For weeks it had teased them with the promise of an early-ending spring, giving them sun-drenched afternoons that faded into chilly twilights and cold winds that crept through windows that had been cracked open for the first time in months. But June was just around the corner, and the whole world was fresh and sweet as the wildflowers that wavered in the breeze. Kristoff had left his outerwear at home, wearing only a loose blue shirt and rolling up the sleeves so he could feel the warmth of the mid-morning sun seeping into his bones. A feeling of contentment settled over him like a cat curling in the windowsill for a nap, and he found himself smiling as he climbed the hill and the cottage came into view.

His smile broadened when he saw Anna waiting for him on the porch, bouncing slightly on the tips of her toes as she waved. “About time you got here!” she called, laughter in her voice. “It feels like I’ve been waiting for hours.”

He came to a stop just as he reached the peak of the hill. “Well, if you’re going to be like that, I might as well turn around and go back…”

“Don’t you dare!” she ordered, no longer able to restrain her excitement as she flew off the porch and ran to him, flinging her arms around his waist. 

Stunned, he stood frozen for a moment before hugging her back, pulling her close against his chest. Surely she had to hear the way his heart was ricocheting off his ribcage, the way his breathing had quickened, but if she did, she didn’t care. 

“I missed you, too,” he whispered, feeling her arms tighten around him in response.

They stood that way for a while before Anna untangled her arms from around him and he reluctantly let go. “Sorry,” she said, color flaming in her cheeks. “It’s just been, uh, really quiet around here.”

“Are you telling me even Olaf wasn’t enough to keep you occupied?”

She laughed. “After a while, all his questions sort of fade into background noise. But I hope it gave you some relief to send him up here so much. Are you feeling better now?”

“Definitely.”

Her eyes lit up. “And ready to take me on an adventure?”

“Of course. But here–” he said, digging in his satchel and pulling out the carefully wrapped mug. “Might want to put this up first.”

She took it with a grin and headed for the kitchen. “Did it help?” she called over her shoulder as he followed her in. 

“Yes. Even better than Grandpapa’s medicine.”

“Oh, god, I think anything would be better than that,” she said with a theatrical shiver as she replaced the mug in the cabinet. “Before we go, do you need me to get anything? Or I can help you carry your satchel if you need a break, or…”

“Actually, I forgot a blanket. Would you mind grabbing one for us?”

She nodded excitedly and darted into the living room for the now-familiar plaid blanket. He grinned after her; he hadn’t forgotten at all, but he had long since realized how much it meant to her to help out, even with the smallest things. The blanket would easily be light enough for her to carry it all day without getting tired– and besides, he was starting to feel attached to this one.  

She came back with it folded over her arm, practically vibrating with excitement. “Okay, I’m ready. Where are we going?”

He led her outside, holding the door open for her and laughing when she clumsily curtsied in spite of her cargo. “To one of my favorite places. It’s not far, but we do have to walk since I don’t have Sven today. Tell me if you get tired, okay?”

“Don’t worry about me. I’ve spent so much time cooped up indoors laying around like a lump, I don’t think I’ll ever get tired again.”

He led her down the hill, making sure to take the least steep path down the slope, and then veered to the right, towards a gap between two oak trees. “Watch where you step. There’s a path, but I haven’t been out here since last fall, so I don’t know how clear it is.”

Normally, he could have easily made the hike in twenty minutes by walking at a clip and scaling the small cliff that blocked the way, but none of that was possible with Anna in tow. He found himself not caring in the slightest, relishing her little gasps of excitement each time she sighted something new and wondrous and paused to examine it. That was the benefit of taking the long way around; it meant more time with her, and it meant there was no risk of over-exerting herself– the incline was slight this way, and there were ample opportunities for her to stop and catch her breath without embarrassing herself by having to ask. 

That was what he’d told his grandfather the day before, having carefully chosen this spot and planned out his argument over two days spent in bed in between dozing off and listening to Olaf chatter on about everything that floated through his mind.

Anna, for once, was almost quiet, blue eyes wide with wonder as she drank it all in. Kristoff found himself wishing he could see his world through her eyes, meet the mountain and its hidden treasures for the first time all over again. “Kristoff, this is the most amazing place I’ve ever seen,” she breathed, examining a butterfly that was sunning its wings on the side of a tree. “I could stay here forever.”

Then stay, he thought. “Just wait. We’re almost there.”

They turned a corner past a copse of trees, and Anna gasped, her hands flying to her mouth so quickly Kristoff barely had time to catch the blanket as it fell. “Is– is this real?”

He laughed. “I hope so. Come on.”

He led her into the glade, feeling a sense of pride as she stared, speechless. They were near the banks of a pond that shimmered an unearthly blue, the color of water that had once been part of a glacier. It was past midday, and the sun sparkled on the surface of the pond, as if stars had fallen there and decided to linger. Beneath their feet was a field of tiny purple primroses, which Anna was doing her utmost not to crush. 

“Do you really like it?” Kristoff asked, suddenly nervous.

She nodded furiously. “Oh, this is going to the top of my happy ever after list.”

The ground was still damp from the last remnants of spring rains and melting snow, and so he led her to a small boulder caught between shade and sunlight that rose almost to his height. “Need help climbing up?”

“I can do it,” she said, already scurrying towards the smaller rocks beside it and clambering up. 

He grinned. “Well done, feistypants.”

Once she was seated, he found a foothold on the side and hoisted himself up with ease. To his surprise, when he glanced at Anna again, her cheeks were pink.

She cleared her throat. “So, anyway, while we’re on the subject, did you ever think of yours?”

“My what?”

“Your happy ever after, remember? I told you mine ages ago. Now it’s your turn.”

He pondered it for a minute. He’d given the idea thought for a brief moment here and there, more out of boredom than anything else. But now, with a sense of peace warming him even more than the sunlight, he thought maybe he had an idea.

“I think mine would just be…being here as much as I can. Just enjoying all of this,” he said, gesturing vaguely at the view.

“That’s it?”

“Well, it’s all I’ve got.”

“No big house or piles of money or beautiful wife?”

Why were his cheeks suddenly burning? “I– I mean, if that stuff happened too, it would be nice. Probably, anyway. But this is all I really need.”

She tilted her head, examining him, before nodding in approval. “Then it counts. Congratulations, Kristoff Bjorgman, you’re officially part of the happy ever after game.”

“Is there a prize to win?”

“It’s not that kind of game.”

“Then it’s not a game, is it?” he teased, and she stuck out her tongue.

“What’d you bring in your bag?” she asked, already pulling it open to see for herself.

“Sandwiches. I thought you might be–”

“My favorite!” she exclaimed, pulling one out. “You remembered.”

“Lucky coincidence,” he lied. “Just the easiest picnic food to pack.”

Anna was already tearing into a ham sandwich, looking distinctly unprincesslike. Kristoff unwrapped one for himself, and they ate in companionable silence, enjoying the warmth of the day as it thawed away the last of winter’s chill.

After a while, he glanced over to see Anna leaning forward, elbows propped on her knees as she rested her chin on her hands. She noticed him looking and waggled her eyebrows. “Like what you see?”

For a single moment, neither of them dared to breathe, and then they both burst out into laughter. She sat back up, leaning her head to rest on his shoulder as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Without hesitation, he put his arm around her, hoping that he seemed just as casual.

“I really did mean what I said in my first letter,” Anna said, a touch of shyness in her voice. “I wanted to thank you for everything you did for me.”

“It was nothing, really,” he began, but already she was shaking her head.

“I mean it. For all the stuff you did for me since I came up here. And– and for playing with me when we were little. It still feels so crazy that it was you I’d been wondering about for all those years, and I didn’t even realize it at first.”

He swallowed hard. “Well– you’re welcome. What are friends for, huh?”

She nodded, and he squeezed her closer for a moment, wishing he had words to tell her that he wanted to thank her, too, for making him laugh more than he ever had, for making him see the world with new eyes, for reminding him that there was more to life than making it through one day after another. He glanced down in time to catch her yawning. “Ready to go back?” he asked gently.

“No. But maybe we should. I think napping on this rock would be a recipe for a sore neck.”

He laughed and jumped down from the rock, landing with ease. With a sudden gleam in her eye, Anna scooted forward. “Catch me!” she called, already pushing off from the rock.

Kristoff did, eyes wide as she landed in his outstretched arms. She patted his chest and clambered down, already heading back towards the path. “Give me more of a warning next time, eh?” he called after her. “What if I’d dropped you?”

“I knew you wouldn’t,” she called back. 

He knew it then, that it was hopeless; maybe it always had been. 

He followed after her like he knew he would for the rest of his life if only she would let him.

They chattered the whole way back, about the trees and plants and animals that made this forest their home; about the silly things Olaf had said and done over the last week; about the sunflowers Anna had planted in his absence and how long it would take them to grow. At some point, the path grew a little steep, and Anna stumbled; Kristoff offered his arm, and she took it, not letting go even when it evened out again.

The sun was only barely beginning to set as they emerged back out onto the main path and turned for the cottage. To Kristoff’s surprise, there was a carriage out front, a large, dark green one, hitched to two white horses. Anna let go of him then, darting up the hill and calling, “Elsa! You came!”

He followed more slowly, trying to give the sisters a moment to catch up. For a moment he debated simply turning and slipping away, but he saw Anna gesturing at him as she explained something to her sister, and the queen turned to look at him with that cool, heavy-lidded look of appraisal. Anna disappeared inside for a moment; he was close enough to hear her tell her sister she was putting on the kettle for tea.

Kristoff cleared his throat, turning to the queen, but she cut him off.

“You and I have much to discuss, Mr. Bjorgman,” she said. “I’ve come with quite a few questions, but they can wait for tomorrow. Tonight I’ll spend with my sister.”

“I’ll take my leave, then.”

She caught his elbow before he could turn away. “A moment, though, Mr. Bjorgman,” she said, her tone amiable though her eyes flashed icy cold. “I appreciate your efforts in caring for my sister. But I fear you have forgotten one thing.”

“What would that be, your majesty?”

“Your place.”

With that, she turned away from him in a swirl of skirts, entering the cottage and closing the door firmly behind her.

[snowycrocus]

The Origin of Ice Bros: Frozen Fanfiction -  How You See Me- Part 2

Please start with part 1 here.

The queen proclaims Kristoff to be the kingdom’s Official Ice Master and Deliverer.

She holds an official ceremony and everything, pulling out all the stops. Kristoff should be proud, but he’s not quite sure he deserves it. He just happened to be at the right place in the mountains at the right time, just happened to find Anna in a shop and she just happened to chase after him and make her crazy demands.

He also just happened to face death multiple times by the hand of the queen, he supposes. So maybe the title is deserved somewhat, after all.

Elsa pins a medal to his brand-new uniform, the epaulets heavy on his shoulders, the fabric stiff and constraining on his muscular frame. “In gratitude for your service to the people of the kingdom, the land of Arendelle, and to the crown,” she announces grandly. “And most of all, for protecting Princess Anna from harm and bringing her back to safety, permitting her to ultimately save the kingdom and the lives of us all.”

The crowd cheers, surprisingly - Kristoff wasn’t sure how the mix of nobles and commoners alike would respond to a lowly itinerant ice-harvester receiving such a position from the crown – but despite the glee and the celebration, Kristoff hears the unspoken words of the queen as she steps back and presents him to the people.

And for protecting Anna from me, the true monster, is what she doesn’t say but is thinking.

                                               ------------------------------

Forever wary of the queen’s hands, Kristoff notices that she rarely wears gloves anymore. Her hands may often be concealed in the folds of her skirts, or wrapped inside her linen napkin at dinner, or even hidden behind her back or under her armpits with crossed arms, but he sees that the gloves are conspicuously absent.

At first, Kristoff is surprised that Elsa already feels so confident as to forgo her gloves each and every day without a concern that she will need them. After so many years, as Anna had told him, wearing them must be a hard habit to break.

So it is with barely-concealed surprise but also not-surprise when leaving a council meeting together (Kristoff must attend one meeting quarterly in his new position) that Kristoff watches as a wad of fabric falls seemingly out of nowhere from Elsa’s dress.

Bending down to pick up the object, Kristoff sees that he is holding a pair of gloves. Cream-colored, with a delicate gold border at the wrist and detailed embroidery across the top – matching perfectly with the queen’s cream and gold dress.

Elsa inhales sharply through her nose when she notices what Kristoff is holding, and nearly lunges to grab them out of his hands before she realizes that besides being unseemly and rude, it is far too late for that.

“Thank you,” she instead chooses to say, lightly plucking the gloves from his grasp. She tucks them primly into what must be pockets – pockets hidden within the folds of her dress, artfully concealed by swaths of fabric from a dressmaker who has hidden pockets for gloves in the queen’s dresses countless times before.

                                                ------------------------------

The three of them are sitting in Elsa’s office once more. Elsa is working on the countless items that require her attention, flipping pages and dunking her pen in ink seemingly as often as one takes a breath. Kristoff has work to complete as well- his new position comes not only with a higher salary but also with more responsibility and bookkeeping in return.

Anna, bored, grabs an envelope off the top of one of the many piles on her sister’s desk. “Woah, this is fancy!” She exclaims. The words “Her Majesty Queen Elsa of Arendelle” are decorated so elaborately that even the embellishments have embellishments.

Seeing her sister still otherwise occupied, Anna opens the envelope, finding that it had already been opened and the letter placed back inside. Her eyes scanning the letter, she lets out a gasp. “Wow, Elsa, the prince of -”

Elsa glances up. Seeing the object of Anna’s attention, her eyes widen as the temperature plummets. She lunges out of her seat, snatching the paper from Anna’s hands. “Do not open and read my personal mail,” she nearly growls.

“It was already open,” Anna retorts. “But Elsa, the prince of – well, I didn’t see of where. But he wants to marry you!”

Anna’s statement remains unacknowledged as Elsa stuffs the letter back inside the envelope and goes back to her work. “But Elsa- what do you think? Are you going to-”

“Enough,” Elsa interrupts, keeping her eyes on her desk. Kristoff holds back a shiver and sees a few snowflakes wink into existence.

“But-” Anna is too excited over what she saw in the letter to notice the change in climate. “But don’t you want to meet him?”

“No,” Elsa responds too quickly. “No, I don’t.” She places her pen down as her hands begin trembling too much to hold it steady. A light gust of wind filters through the room and the snow begins to fall at a light but steadier rate.

After Elsa’s eye-opening confession and request in the stables just a few weeks ago, Kristoff can see the change in the indoor climate as a sign of Elsa’s insecurities rather than a threat. If she can’t even trust herself yet, how could she open up her heart to someone else?

Kristoff knows he is very lucky- he has had the fortune in life to find the woman that he loves; that he wants to spend the rest of his life with. And if he isn’t turned into an ice sculpture first, it seems that the queen will permit him to marry her sister. She hasn’t done anything to suggest she wants to stop their relationship, at least.

But Elsa… Kristoff doesn’t know much about royalty but one thing he does know is that they often don’t have the freedom to choose a partner for love; only for duty. Kristoff knows that the only reason Anna is still with him and not the prince of god-knows-where is that her sister loves her too much – needs her too much - to send her away, even for the good of the kingdom. Kristoff knows that Elsa is aware of what her own fate must be when it comes to marriage– she has the duty part of her job down pretty good.

He wonders if the queen has resigned herself yet to her future of being with a man. A man who will likely try to take her responsibilities from her, reducing her to nothing more than a figurehead. Worse yet, a man who will require an heir, and all that that entails.

For Elsa, who still flinches at the touch of her sister’s hand on her shoulder or wrapped around herself in a hug…well, no wonder the rug is now covered deep in a layer of snow.

Kristoff startles when he realizes that he’s been deep in his own thoughts on the matter and has missed some heated conversation between the two sisters. Elsa has risen from her chair to meet her sister, but is turned away as she clasps her arms around herself tight. Anna is red in the face and her eyebrows are drawn together in frustration but also confusion.

The snow continues to fall steadily and a scrim of ice has formed at Elsa’s feet. Kristoff steps between her and Anna.

This close up, he can hear Elsa’s ragged breathing; see her chest heaving as she tries so very hard to control her breaths and her magic. He sees that she is struggling, and he reflects on the letter that started this whole affair.

He tries to imagine Elsa with someone – a special someone. Supporting them, providing them with love and physical affection. He can’t see it, can’t picture it – not yet. One day it may be possible, he thinks. But today is not that day.

“Elsa?” He asks, remembering at the last second to call her by her first name. “Do- do you want us to go? Should we give you some space?” He doesn’t think she hears him at first, occupied as she is in containing her unruly magic. Her arms clench around herself tighter, her eyebrows knit and teeth grit in concentration.

But she must hear him, because her eyes suddenly open and widen in surprise and almost relief.

Yes, she nods, and Kristoff ushers Anna out of the room with a promise to return to her sister soon after she’s had some time to settle herself back down

Back in her office, Elsa realizes that this time Kristoff trusted her enough to make the call on whether or not she was safe to be around. She was given the choice to decide if she was safe – no one else determined that for her. Kristoff didn’t make a face at her or her magic. He didn’t pull Anna away. He let her decide. He gave her freedom to decide for herself.

She wasn’t ready to face that letter yet. But if Kristoff could bestow that kind of trust in her, then maybe another person could. Someday.

                                             ------------------------------

Kristoff knew he shouldn’t have stepped there. But hindsight’s 20/20.

The weather had been iffy lately and Kristoff had had to wait out a small storm before leaving on an ice harvesting trip, leaving him a couple days late into his next delivery date and scrambling to make up for lost time.

In an effort to hasten things along, he had gone a different way in what he had hoped was a shortcut to where he would go to cut ice. And it could’ve been a shortcut, if he had just been more careful with his footing and not stepped into a snow-covered pit.

So now here he was, lying on a cot in the castle’s infirmary with his leg immobilized in traction for a broken leg while sweating like a pig.

Unable to walk properly, it had taken two days to get back home to some medical care. Exposed to the elements as he was unable to care for himself as he normally would, he had also developed some sort of respiratory infection and was fighting off a fever.

Anna had been extremely distressed to see Kristoff’s condition when he returned home. She was the one who had insisted he stay at the castle infirmary. Every day she visited; bringing snacks, games and reading material for Kristoff to keep himself occupied outside of her visits.

She and the medical staff had been taking great care of him. But surprisingly, the best care had come from none other than the Queen of Arendelle herself.

Once she had heard from Anna that Kristoff was being treated for his injuries and illness, Elsa had come as soon as she could to assess the situation for herself. Seeing Kristoff’s leg- the skin red and purple and so swollen it looked ready to burst - she had immediately summoned packs of ice to reduce the inflammation. She could feel the heat radiating off him, too, and cooled the air, adding more ice around his neck and forehead for his fevers.

Despite all the responsibilities Kristoff knew Elsa had, she was there consistently throughout the day – almost as much as Anna- to produce fresh ice for his wounds and to check on his temperature.

Kristoff found that he looked forward to Elsa’s visits- anticipating the relief from the swelling and heat, yes – but also her quiet yet perceptive companionship.

“You’re protecting my heart by taking care of Anna,” Elsa told him one night, yawning and ready for bed. “So I’m going to protect hers by taking care of you.”

                                              ------------------------------

On the 4th anniversary of the deaths of the late king and queen, the day dawned grey and drizzling, apt for the occasion.

Kristoff knew the day was coming – Anna had warned him days ago of the approaching date and told him to not take it personally if she were in a bad mood leading up to the anniversary.

They had agreed to meet for breakfast, yet Anna mostly pushed the food around her plate, her head resting on her fist as she tried to hold the tears back in her eyes.

Kristoff found he couldn’t find it in himself to eat much, either – the castle was suffused with a persistent chill that even cooled the hot foods immediately as they were placed upon the table. He never liked cold eggs, and he had a feeling that the temperature inside wasn’t just a result of the dreary rain outside the castle walls. He had a feeling that the queen wasn’t partaking in breakfast this morning.

“Will you come back to visit tonight?” Anna suddenly asked.

“Oh – of course,” Kristoff replied. “If you’d like me to. But aren’t you and Elsa going to want some time alone together?”

Anna made a face that Kristoff couldn’t quite interpret, shrugging her shoulders. “You’re right about the ‘alone’ part,” Anna said. “I don’t think Elsa’s going to want company after we visit the gravesite.” She sighed. “And I really don’t think I can stand being alone on this day any longer.”

“She said she never even hugged them before they left,” Anna added, the “she” and “them” she was referring to obvious.  Her face fell. “But she still wouldn’t even let me hug her today of all days.”

Kristoff felt his heart drop at her words, but was interrupted from responding when he heard a light click-clack of heels entering the dining room.

“Anna…” Elsa’s voice strained with emotion after hearing her sister’s confession. “I’m sorry. I just…” she shook her head, deciding to drop the topic. “As for later - I don’t know that yet. Can we see how things go, first?”

“You weren’t supposed to hear that.” Anna blushed. “But yeah, we’ll see how you’re feeling I guess.”

She turned to Kristoff. “I’ll let you know about tonight.” They kissed goodbye and he squeezed her hand to lend some support.

As the sisters turned and headed towards the hill upon which their parents’ headstones rested, Kristoff noted that they were both wearing the same attire- black dresses, boots, and capes with hoods against the rain outside. His gaze focusing beyond the girls, he started. The rain had turned to snow.

As he glanced back to the retreating forms, he noted that the only difference in their clothing was that the elder wore black gloves as well.

Something Anna had muttered at breakfast came back to him, then:

She said she never even hugged them before they left. But she still wouldn’t even let me hug her today of all days.

Kristoff wondered what it had been like inside the castle when Elsa had been told of the death of her parents, as well as the years after, locked away with no support as she was.

“Hey! Wait!” Kristoff called to them, running towards the front gates. The sisters paused and turned to face him, surprised.

He caught up to them just outside the doors of the castle. The wind had picked up and snow fell heavily on his shoulders. Elsa’s gloved hands were clenched tightly in fists but her face was an expressionless mask.

“Your majesty,” Kristoff managed to say at the last second, noting the guards nearby. “Can I speak to you for a moment? Alone?” He couldn’t decide which sister looked more startled by his request.

Turning the corner, he and Elsa faced each other. “What is this about, Kristoff?” Elsa asked. She was so tired. She didn’t think she could handle a serious discussion at the moment.

Kristoff thought for a second in the swirling snow, stunned by his own spontaneity. “I-I just wanted you to know that I’m here to support both of you- Anna and you.”

He continued despite the shocked look on the queen’s face. “I know this day is hard for you. I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like- to lose your parents and become Queen on the same day.” He shivered, having not been prepared for the snow. Elsa’s eyes darkened and she frowned, though whether it was from his shiver or his words he couldn’t be sure. He had to force himself to spit out the rest of what he was trying to say, scared that he had upset her by broaching such a topic. You’re past the point of no return, out with it.

“So I just wanted to let you know that I’m here for Anna, and that I’m here for you as well.” He looked down, embarrassed. His hair flopped into his eyes. “I know you probably wouldn’t want to talk to me about any of it, but I’m here. Just – just if you ever needed it.”

Elsa felt a warmth in her chest that she never expected to feel on this day of all days. The snow lightened to small, fluttering flakes. “Thank you,” she said, embarrassed, a small blush blooming on her pale cheeks. “That means a lot.” She considered. “More than you can imagine.”

“You’re welcome,” Kristoff responded, a small smile playing on his lips. Did he just melt the ice queen? “Take care of her out there, alright?” He nodded his head toward Anna.

“You’re wondering if she’ll be safe out there with me,” Elsa observed dryly, gesturing to the dwindling snowflakes. She chuckled at Kristoff’s guilty expression. “She is now.”

She gave him a wry smile and headed back over to Anna, resuming their walk. Observing the two girls now in the distance, he noted Elsa’s hand was now entwined with Anna’s as they walked away.

                                             ------------------------------

After months of sending letters back and forth across the seas, after months of negotiations and tireless nights spent at a desk by candlelight instead of bed, new trade agreements have been formed with some neighboring countries. A banquet is being held in celebration of the good news (at Anna’s behest, of course), and the castle is bustling with activity in preparation.

All of the councilmen and the diplomats involved have been invited, as have their families. The dining hall is set for all of the attendants, the silverware gleaming and a string quartet practicing before the event.

Anna cannot wait for the affair. She chose a new dress for the occasion, and, of course, there will be so much chocolate! But most of all, Anna cannot wait to meet the families and children of those that will be in attendance. These grand social occasions come so rarely and she so loves socializing at events such as these.

Kristoff almost wishes he had told Anna that he’d be away on an ice-harvesting trip for the occasion. He can’t imagine looking forward to dressing up in heavy, stiff fabrics and parading about like a peacock. He doesn’t want to talk to these stuffy people or congratulate them on their hard work. He has no idea how on earth Elsa manages working with these people. He doesn’t want to meet their children and he doesn’t see the need to come together at an event to celebrate. But yeah, at least there will be chocolate. And lots of other food. And drinks. Would ale be served at a banquet at the castle?

Finally, the event has arrived. The guests are already mingling – oohing and aahing over the hors d’oeuvres being passed around and exclaiming over gossip while children run across the gleaming hardwood floors and play.

Kristoff, Anna and Elsa are waiting just outside the main entrance to the banquet hall. Their names will be announced and they will enter the room.

Right before Kristoff and Anna are called in together, Kristoff becomes aware of the sounds of breathing behind him. The queen is taking rapid, erratic breaths. He turns around.

Elsa’s gaze is fixed on a spot on the wall. Her chest heaves as she attempts to slow and control her breaths. Her hands are shaking, and she quickly tucks them into the folds of her skirts.

He wants to say something; to comfort her, to calm her down. He opens his mouth –

“Princess Anna of Arendelle, accompanied by Kristoff Bjorgman, Ice Master and Deliverer!” The Sergeant at Arms announces loftily to the room as the double doors swing open. Too late. Kristoff catches one last look at Elsa’s gaze still locked on the wall, her nostrils flaring as she breathes.

As he walks with Anna on his arm across the grand hall, Kristoff can’t help but think of Elsa, anxiously waiting to be announced from behind the heavy doors which just closed behind him. He knows that Elsa isn’t comfortable in large crowds yet. He knows (from personal experience) that she oftentimes struggles to maintain a conversation. He has heard from Anna how the queen’s thoughts often veer towards distorted notions of how others perceive her.

Kristoff and Anna reach the middle of the floor and turn to face the doors for the last guest to be announced. The final pronouncement is made. “Queen Elsa of Arendelle!”

Kristoff cringes. Elsa shouldn’t walk out yet, not while she’s still fighting off her panic. It wouldn’t do for the people to see her like that.

And yet…

Kristoff is shocked when the Queen glides in with a grace that Kristoff can’t ever imagine having. Her back is straight, her shoulders proud and her neck held high. Her eyes are easy as her mouth is held in a pleasant, natural smile. She exudes confidence, elegance, and refinement.

She makes a quick yet sophisticated speech to thank the attendants for all of their hard work; expressing the pride she has in being part of such a hardworking, dedicated team. The picture of a queen through and through. Assured and poised at all times.

How did-? What happened to -? How did she-? Kristoff is stunned. How can Elsa put up this façade of controlled queen so smoothly, so effortlessly and convincingly?

A sad voice whispers in his head. Practice makes perfect.

Kristoff knows he is one of the very few who has seen Elsa behind the mask she so easily slips on.

She is a natural queen- her fear and anxiety are indistinguishable from her character throughout the evening. Charming, charismatic – a bit awkward at times, but that is overlooked due to the celebratory occasion and the fact that she is queen – on the outside, Elsa appears to be the epitome of sophisticated grace.

When all the celebrants are seated for dinner, only Kristoff seems to notice that steam is rising from everyone’s soup except the queen’s.

                                           ------------------------------

The bees are buzzing and crickets chirping in the small clearing that Kristoff, Anna, and sometimes Elsa have taken to visiting.

It is a beautiful day, if a bit windy, which has caused the kite that they were flying to veer sharply into the clawing branches of a tree and get stuck.

“Don’t worry, I got this!” Proclaims Anna, her mouth setting into a determined line as she hikes up her skirt and starts towards the offending tree.

“Anna, no!” Elsa starts to stand up to drag Anna back to the safe ground, but Kristoff grabs her arm, chuckling.

“She’ll be fine, Elsa.” He grins as Anna finds a good foothold and starts scrabbling up the trunk of the tree. “She’s strong.”

“I know,” Elsa responds. “You’re right, she can handle almost anything.” Her mouth turns down in a frown. “She handles everything that comes her way so bravely…” she adds, her eyes growing sad and dark. “I have to remind myself sometimes that she’s not weak like I am.”

Kristoff is startled by the confession. “Weak?” He asks. He pictures a young princess Elsa, locked inside her bedroom, gloved and lonely as she watches the world pass her by outside. He can’t imagine the sheer strength it took to bear such a burden every single day for so many years. “But you…” he struggles to find the right words for Elsa’s childhood struggles without offending the queen. “For so many years…”

Elsa shakes her head. “That’s not bravery,” she says. “I endured. That is all.” Her fingers twitch. “If I were brave, I would have…”the words seem to leave her, then, but the ice that forms a dagger in her hand is explanation enough.

“You’re not giving yourself enough credit,” Kristoff says, not realizing he was holding his breath at the sight of the dagger until it dissipates in Elsa’s hand. “Survival like that - when you’ve lost all hope and no one is coming to save you – “that takes true courage. Don’t sell yourself short.”

Elsa looks at him oddly, her head tilting to the side to look at him. “That’s what Anna, said, too.”

                                             ------------------------------

How has time flown by so fast?

A year has come and gone, all in the blink of an eye. A year since he found that crazy, insane girl half-frozen in the woods. A year since he nearly died at the hands of a glorified deadly snowman. A year since he fell in love. A year since the love of his life died. And a year since his whole life changed.

They had all changed, the three of them. Kristoff found himself more open, more amicable. He’d make a passing comment to a stranger on the street or at a bar, and then wonder where did that come from?

At the end of a hard day, he no longer just wanted to hide away and spend time on his own. It was Anna’s warm, sun-kissed face that he hoped for; what he looked forward to and what he worked towards. He was…well, happy.

Since the past year, Anna’s confidence had spiked. She no longer felt so unwanted, so useless. She had a purpose – what she had been searching for all along, apparently.

She strove to make the people of Arendelle happy. To make Kristoff, her love, happy. And to make her sister happy. She felt pride in the work that she did to better the lives of her people. She loved seeing the warm smile on Kristoff’s face, the crinkling of his eyes when he smiled at her, and how his rough hands felt oh-so gentle on her skin.

And she loved giving her sister hugs. Yes, even that was part of her purpose. Because her sister was hug- deprived, and it was Anna’s newest and perhaps most important responsibility- to hug her sister.

Elsa, in the past year, had grown as well. While at times she still struggled with things- controlling her powers in the face of strong emotion, tolerating touch from others, holding a sustained conversation – the queen had begun to grow into her own skin; becoming more comfortable with and accepting of herself.

She smiled more, laughed more. She felt lighter, as though a great burden had been lifted from her shoulders. Some days were hard, yes – but she found that most of the time she was able to direct her dark thoughts toward happier times and dreams of lighthearted moments in her future.

She grew accustomed to her work as the queen. She developed a routine and found herself growing confident in her skills and prideful of her work in betterment of the kingdom. She became a strong negotiator with a keen sense of justice. She gained respect from (most) of her staff, advisers, and colleagues.

She felt whole.

The year had brought changes and happiness. But that day, marking the year itself exactly? Maybe not so much.

                                             ------------------------------

Kristoff rolled his eyes for what felt like the hundredth time. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“What?” Anna cried, tossing shoe after shoe over her shoulder out of her wardrobe. She turned to Kristoff and glared. “You don’t understand, you’re a guy. And you have, what? Two pairs of shoes?”

“Five, thank you.”

“Well, then, excuse me- ” Anna rolled her eyes right back and turned back to toss more shoes around – “then you must understand how important it is that you have shoes the exact shade to match your dress – especially when anyone who’s anyone is going to be in attendance tonight!” Giving up, she stood back up, hands on her hips. “Tonight’s a big night, and I gotta look the part!”

“Anna, you’ll look just fine,” Kristoff groaned, brushing his hands over his hair. “Why didn’t you get new shoes made to match with the new dress?”

Anna blushed guiltily. “I thought I already had a pair that would work.”

“Really? It’s the first ball in a whole year, and a really important one, and you wagered your outfit on your memory?”

“Shut up. Do me a favor, would ya? Elsa’s got the perfect pair, I know it. Tell her I need the silver ones she has with the little gems by the toes, she’ll know which shoes I’m talking about.”

Kristoff sighs but acquiesces, and heads down the long hallway towards the queen’s quarters.

Tonight’s a big night- the first ball in a year – the ball to commemorate the coronation of Queen Elsa.

He knows that, if it were up to Elsa, there would be no celebration. In fact, there might even be a banishment of ever bringing up the occasion- or maybe she’d just remove the whole day itself from the calendar so that there could never be an anniversary of such a dreadful day.

But alas, while Elsa yields total power over many things in the kingdom, the power to decide what occasions call for celebration is not hers alone. And thank goodness, Kristoff thinks, or else we’d probably never celebrate anything with more people than just the three of us.

Passing through the hall, Kristoff wonders how Elsa is faring. Anna had mentioned earlier that Elsa was very nervous- Anna herself had already helped to ward off a couple of panic attacks over the idea of the ball in the past week. “She’s afraid everyone’s only going to be reminded of what she did,” Anna had said. “I keep telling her this is a happy occasion- it was a year ago today that she learned how to control her powers and that we became a family again!”

As happy as that is, Kristoff knows that Elsa tends to dwell on the negatives and get lost in dark memories.  He wonders if not having the right color shoes would be Anna’s toughest challenge tonight, or if her sister would make it onto her list of things to be concerned about.

Giving a small but wary nod to the guards outside of Elsa’s quarters, Kristoff gives a light knock. He’s one of only a few people granted access without permission of the royal guard to enter, but he’d always prefer to have Elsa open the door for him so he doesn’t feel like he’s barging in on the queen’s privacy.

Unfortunately, there’s no response from behind the door, so he turns the knob and steps in. The area he enters into is a sitting room, though it’s a bit stuffy and often unused. A smaller study than Elsa’s office leads off of that, and behind that is her bedroom.

“Elsa?” Kristoff calls, not wanting to spook her. Is she even here? There’s no sign of the queen anywh-

He suddenly feels it, stepping through her office towards the bedroom, the door cracked open. The temperature is fluctuating rapidly, giving him the strange sensation of being in limbo between suffering heat stroke and freezing. He’s never felt this before – it’s clearly the struggle between knowing how to keep the temperature normal versus actually doing so.

“Elsa…” he can smell the cold now; sense her power in the air. She hasn’t totally lost control- yet.

Maybe now’s not the best time to ask about the shoes.

He enters the room cautiously and on guard. He hears her before he sees her.

“Don’tfeel don’t feel dontfeeldontfeeldontfeeldontfeel don’t feel!”

The regal queen is muttering, huddled on the floor, swaths of fabric pooling around her ankles. Elsa is dressed in her gown for the evening, rich hues of sapphire blending seamlessly into cobalt and then indigo.

Her feet are bare- one is peeking out beneath the dress – and her hair is tied back in a striking updo, strands curling off the back and framing her face in the front.

Kristoff is struck by her beauty, bent on the floor in front of him - but while Anna’s exquisiteness draws him in, warm and inviting and soft, her elder sister’s is striking and somewhat cold. 

“Elsa-” he reaches out to place a hand on her shoulder, then retracts it, feeling the cold shudder through him once more. Her breathing is erratic, shaky.

Kristoff knows what this is – Anna has told him about them, before. The attacks her sister gets sometimes, when she’s stressed, or scared. Or for seemingly no reason or trigger at all. But he’s never seen one before. He doesn’t know what to do.

Is it safe?

Elsa doesn’t look up when he says her name. He doesn’t know if she even hears him, occupied as she seems to be. Her arms are wrapped around her torso in a strange version of a hug, her chest heaving as she struggles to draw in air – as if there wasn’t enough oxygen in the room to fill her lungs. Her breaths are stuttered, high-pitched, the air passing through her slender neck in a struggle despite her repeating mantra. Don’tfeeldon’tfeeldon’tfeeldon’tfeel.

“Elsa?” He asks again. “What’s – what’s wrong?”

Her eyes dart up to him quickly before falling back to the floor; a closed fist over her heart.

“I-” she chokes out, gasping, “-can’t breathe.”

The fact she was speaking makes Kristoff think otherwise, but he decides to roll with it.

“Ok, just – just try to slow it down a bit. Deep-” he mimes taking a deep breath – “deep breaths.”

She shook her head with a whine. Images of the worst day of her life flash in her mind’s eye. What are you so afraid of? The uniform gasp of the people when her powers revealed themselves. The mistrust and fear burning in their eyes. Striking Anna’s heart after a powerful buildup. Arrows flying at her face. Hateful grimaces of Weselton’s cronies. The dungeon. Handcuffs biting into the skin of her wrists. A frozen sister, never to jump or smile again.

She sputters, choking on the memories. She thinks she might be sick.

Kristoff is startled. He’s seen Elsa nervous before, breathing funny, trembling. But he’s never seen an attack such as this. Elsa seems to be melting right before his eyes, every breath a struggle and making noises like a wounded animal. She’s in pain.

He has no idea what to do to help her. What the heck is going on? What the hell do I do? “Should – should I go get Anna?”

There’s no answer at first. Kristoff makes to leave to get Anna and quickly – when Elsa shakes her head again, her chin tucked against her chest as tightly as humanly possible.

“N-no,” she breathes out. “She shouldn’t worry any -” she draws in a gasping breath “-anymore.”

The temperature is still fluctuating like crazy, snowflakes and ice falling and crawling and then disappearing like they were nothing but his own hallucinations.

“But you should?” He asks, crouching down to her level on the floor. “You think you should do all the worrying for the two of you?”

Elsa doesn’t respond, her arms tightening around herself. Control it. Don’t feel!

“Hey,” Kristoff says, her words leading him to sudden understanding. “You’re – you’re trying to do too much at once here. You’re worried about tonight, but focusing on controlling your powers is taking too much of your focus.”

Elsa finally looks up so that her deep blue eyes meet his, widening in surprise. She can barely hear his words over the pounding of blood rushing in her ears but his revelation makes sense.

Kristoff continues. “Maybe just…let it go? Let the power out so you can focus on what’s bothering you. We can work through it together.”

He gently, carefully, places a hand on her tremulous shoulder but retracts it immediately, holding back a hiss. The icy colds burns right through the fabric of the sleeve of her gown. He feels so useless, sitting there on the floor with her. She’s the queen, and she so clearly, desperately needs help but all he can do is sit there and watch her torment.

“Ok,” she breathes, her eyes trusting. She needs someone she can trust right now. “But…” she gives him a pointed look.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll go…”Kristoff adds, glancing around the room. “If I close the door behind me, is that good?”

Elsa nods, her breathing beginning to even out. He can feel the room getting colder as she loosens her grip on the magic.

Once the door to the bedroom is closed behind him, there’s a pause and then Kristoff knows when Elsa has let loose of the dam over her powers. Standing silently just outside of the door, he listens as the wind howls and the splintering of ice crackles. He imagines it beginning to crawl up the wall in tracts converging in the center from its creator. The glinting prisms spread outward in facets, dendrites branching tree-like as the ice climbs higher and higher, forming connections like vines in the jungle. Beautiful, as he always saw afterwards, yes, but eerie in its pristine ferocity.

It truly wasn’t fair, he thought. These powers, were, in some ways, a curse. He only recently had begun to understand its implications in a way that others refused to or couldn’t. They didn’t know what troubles the whiteness blanketing her insides could cause during moments when emotions raged; where others could simply scream, fight, or simply let tears trail down in silence, the queen he loved like a sister was unable to let herself feel, let alone express, those intense emotions at times for fear of the consequences.

The sounds of her emotions turned to living physicalities seemed serene, however, in comparison to her heart-wrenching groans that could at times be heard in accompaniment with the winds and ice. It sounded as though they were torn from her body, wrenched out of her throat by sheer emotion. In them, he heard the frustration and the despair, the anger and the sorrow. Come a little while, they’d also trace the relief she felt in her release and a returning to normality.

Sometime later, those sounds came. The winds lessened until they were a light breeze, the only sound of ice that of breaking glass as she took small, careful steps to survey the damage and head to the door to call weakly: “K-Kristoff?”

Treading carefully, he steps back into the bedroom, broken ice tinkling under his feet. Ice coats the walls, drips down from icicles on the ceiling. It’s freezing in here, but the air is calm, no longer buzzing around him with unruly magic anxious to be freed.

“Hey,” he says to Elsa, who has crumpled to the floor once more, her tight bun now in disarray. “Feel better?”

She shrugs, still shaking, but is calmer now that something inside of her isn’t fighting to get out. Kristoff can’t help but remember the last time he saw the results of Elsa’s magical outburst joined with a panic attack. At Anna’s expense.

He had always focused on Anna’s health and her feelings after being struck by Elsa that time – how her hair turned white, how her limbs became stiff as the ice spread beneath her skin.

Now, he wondered, what had happened to Elsa when they left after her attack in the ice palace?

Was she huddled on the floor as she was now, gasping for breath? And that time, she had been…all alone.

Not anymore.

“Elsa,” Kristoff begins. He places his palms on her back, starts rubbing in little circles as she takes deep breaths.

“Last year at this time, you were by yourself. You were facing all this on your own. But that’s not you anymore. That’s not us. There is us now, Elsa. You, me, and Anna. We’re all here to look out for each other, support each other.” His hands aren’t so cold now on her back.

“What happened last year…it happened. But it changed all of us for the better. You know how to control your powers- ” Elsa made a noise of disagreement.

“Yes, you do!” Kristoff interrupted. “Look! You just held that all in for so long ‘til I left the room.” Elsa’s shaking lessened, until the only movement in the room was the two of them breathing.

“This year, at this ball, we celebrate you. What you’ve done for the kingdom, yes, but what you’ve overcome, and what we have become. You’re not alone anymore, Elsa. You’ve got us.” Kristoff gathers Elsa’s hands in his. They’re a bit chilly but he’s able to warm them up quickly. Her smile, however, warms him to the core.

“Thank you,” she whispers.

The ball is a success. Everyone buzzes about how beautiful the queen and princess are, how gracious. They eagerly look forward to the prosperous years Queen Elsa will bring them towards.

No one even notices that Princess Anna’s shoes don’t quite match her dress.

                                          ------------------------------

As the days turn to weeks and weeks turn to months, things feel like they are finally settling down into something somewhat resembling a normalcy – a normality as much as a queen, princess, and reindeer-loving ice harvester can have.

Elsa finds she at last feels at peace with herself – usually, anyway. She feels like she has a home. Because what is a home without the people you love in it?

And those two people that make up her home are growing closer by the day.

She sees how Kristoff rushes home after his harvesting to see the woman he loves again. How he brings Anna small, beautiful things- a leaf the exact fiery shade of her hair, a delicate bouquet of flowers he picked by the meadow, a chocolate roll from her favorite bakery in town.

She notices how Anna’s mood falls when Kristoff isn’t around, and how she perks back up when he’s scheduled to return home. Anna peppers their conversations with anecdotes about her time spent with Kristoff – and Elsa can’t help but notice the flush in her cheeks and her not-so-subtle glances at Kristoff’s strong, bronzed arms and legs and, dare she say it – the wistful yet fleeting looks over, well, the areas Elsa doesn’t really want to think about.

She has no choice sometimes but to be witness to quick pecks on cheeks hello and goodbye, as well as longer, more passionate kisses before she can turn away her gaze. She sees their hands clasped together, playful touches and warm hugs.

Elsa knows she is a valued friend and a cherished sister. But does that matter? Is it enough?

What is my place in your life? Will I be a part of your world?

For so long she had been hidden away. So, so many years. Has she actually managed to come out of hiding? Or is she still struggling to be seen?

                                           ------------------------------

After a lifetime of self-doubt, Elsa can finally begin to see where her place is in life.

With her kingdom. With her sister.

And with her brother.

Kristoff, she eventually comes to realize, is as much of a brother to her as Anna is a sister.

Anna has always, always been there to support her. Words of support. Wiping away tears. A strong embrace when she’s weak. A warm hug, a clasped hand, and a loving gaze.

Kristoff, over the past year, has grown to do the same. Soft, kind eyes. A rough yet gentle hand. An understanding gaze and a keen perceptiveness. He looks out for her like family. He would defend her with his life, she knows- not as a duty to his Queen, but out of love for a sister. He’s a listening ear when she’s stressed or worried, a friend when she’s feeling lonely, and a guide when she needs direction.

He’s a friend.

Her very first friend.

She knew the question was coming. She knows how Kristoff feels about her sister, knows what his intentions are. After all, how many times can she remind them that “you two cannot be intimate with each other until you are married?” with a light-hearted tone but steel in her eyes?

If that didn’t convince him to propose, she didn’t know what would.

But more than…being intimate, Elsa knows that Kristoff wants to live the rest of his days with her sister. He wants to come home to her smile, to feel her warm embrace, to be the oh-so-lucky person to get to experience the amazing, wonderful loveliness that comes with being with Anna.

Elsa understands that feeling – because it is what she feels and yearns for every single day.

So it is with very little surprise that Elsa finds herself sitting across from Kristoff as he holds out a ring. A ring that he intends to give to Anna, if the Queen will allow it.

And she does.

And that is it, she thinks- my sister is getting married. And I will no longer be important. No longer necessary. It is with a heavy heart that she gives her blessing to Kristoff. She knows he will make her sister happy. She knows he will take care of her for life.

But then, suddenly, a second box is pulled out from Kristoff’s pocket, and is handed to Elsa.

“What is this?” She asks, curious. Is there another tradition of engagements which she does not know about? Perhaps a troll tradition?

“Open it and see,” Kristoff says with a knowing grin.

Carefully prying off the lid, Elsa stares.

Inside is a delicate silver chain with a pendant. She gingerly pulls it out, the chain looped over her fingers as her eyes catch the light of a tiny, crystalline teardrop hanging from the middle. It is so clear and sparkling it near looks like ice, and there is a small snowflake etched into the gem in the center.

“It’s stunning,” Elsa tells Kristoff, in wonder of the beauty in her hands, yet confused. “But why give Anna a ring and a necklace?”

“No - it’s for you.” Kristoff blushes. “I’m here to ask for Anna’s hand in marriage,” he starts. “But also I want to ask you – will you be my sister?”

Elsa startles, eyes wide. The hand holding the pendant brings it up to rest on her chest, the teardrop falling nicely into the hollow between her collarbones. It’s not ice, yet it somehow feels just as much a part of her as ice is. She places her other hand over the necklace, and over her heart.

He wants her to be a part of his life.

And suddenly, she doesn’t feel quite so much like a monster anymore.

                                          -------------------------------------

And *voila:* ice bros are formed! I would really love to hear what you think! How do you think this friendship would have grown between Kristoff and Elsa? How would he grow to trust her?

I would especially love to hear what your favorite part is from above! Is there a scene that particularly captured their growth or a moment that you really enjoyed?

I reallllly want to write more ice bros- please let me know if you have any prompts or ideas, I’d love to hear anything you have in mind!! I may be taking a brief hiatus from writing to work on my side hustle (if you have experience in web design, contract writing or social media promotion please let me know!!), and won’t have as much time to write anymore as my work shift has changed, but will eventually pick up some writing again so I want your ideas! @luna-and-mars, @myfanfictiongarden, @poketin, @above-d-clouds, @a-frozen-kind-of-love, @wandering-bard-from-the-id, @lelibotachay, @blunaowl, @grrlgeek72, @frozenartscapes tagging you guys as you seemed to enjoy part one, hope you don’t mind.

[beanjuice-duh]

Bury Me In Stardust

Summary: @midnigtartist and I and probably the rest of the fandom are hurting sooo take this y’all

Life is such a delicate dance. A pace set in motion by the smallest things, a simple turn could mean the beginning of a new piece or the end of the song all together. That was the absolute beauty of life; the simplicity that nothing was certain and that nothing should ever be taken for granted. Because love was a dance without reason, it could go for as long or as short and it was left to the odds to decide what happened next.

What a beautiful, wonderful, careless, hideously painful thing life was. For the sheer moment the music stopped, the dancing halted, then life would end. And in it's place was the searing complacently woeful silenced called … Death.

It was a slow consumer, Death relished in the soft ease taking over. Like watching a solar eclipse there was no stopping this massive shadow as it crept over Mollymauk’s barely conscious body. He could see the backlight of the sky above against the outline of his undertaker. His executioner, looking down at him like an umbrella as the snow flurries whirled past him.

Stars mirrored life effortlessly. At least to Molly’s knowledge they did. Stars began life in an explosion, a grand entrance into the cosmos and he like to think he did. In his own way, he made his entrance, a star thousands of light years away from anything else like him. One small light, breaking into the dark lonesome world around him.

With every passing moment he met others like him, for brief moments he was caught into their spin before rocketing away to the next beckon of interest. When life offered so many colors, so many variations of beauty, all bright and full of whimsy, how could he attach himself to only one? Light was fleeting, and Molly was chasing it with the fever of a shooting star whose days aglow were numbered.

Then came the change. The moment the universe forced him to be...stagnant. He found himself caught in the pull, in the orbits of new faces. All of which were radically and fantastically different from each other and more so his. Each a color vibrant and unique, a spectrum of people that were like him but so much more.

He remembered these days with an eternal fondness in his chest. He thought after his first year of, life his eyes would simply stop lingering on the romanticized wonder of all things “new” but here he was. Relishing in this new tapestry of a sky. No longer a sole star racing past other points of light. He was part of something, a constellation, part of a larger picture, a more important harmony.

“Ah bloody hell…” he groaned softly, his hands instinctively going to his finishing wound but felt nothing. No pain, no dampness of fresh blood. He looked down and saw his normal clothes, untattered and cleanly pressed against his skin like a fresh wash. Slowly, the lavender tiefling sat up and slowly examined himself over and over again. What happened?

Immediately the last memory of being stabbed while laying on the cold ground, the sinking pain in his gut before everything dulled. He flinched, his eyes casted down as he saw...what looked like himself. But the differences were so striking Molly almost didn’t recognize him.

His spectral eyes scanned his mortal body over, the wounds, the thick, blotches of crimson that stained his open blouse. His face frozen in his last moments, lips slightly parted, eyes wide and open, staring off into nothing. “God I look terrible” Molly forced a chuckle out of him. The sound was meant to be light and careless but broke through his lips more like a pained gasp.

This was truly it, the end of the line. Molly sat down on the ground beside his forgotten mortal body, staring at the flurries that had collected around him. He smiled briefly remembering the magic of seeing snow. Now through the gaze of his afterlife, the snow seemed to do nothing to move him. There was no magic, no chill of excitement, the luster that he had ingrained in himself had also died the moment he did.

Trapped in what felt like a forever in his mind, soft mumbling broke his trance. He looked over and saw by this time a pair of ratty, bandaged Goblin hands were combing through his hair. They fumbled turning soft curls into messily knotted braids, with a few wild flowers and tall weeds between a few strands. “Nott…” Molly felt the corners of his mouth turn up a bit. “What in gods name are you doing?”

Of course she doesn’t hear him. She works with what looks like the nimble, practiced hands of someone who uses them often but the inexperience of doing delicate deeds such as this. Molly watches on in silence before shaking his head a bit and simply sighs. “If I had known I’d get this treatment perhaps I would have died weeks ago…” Perhaps ...perhaps he began to think, he should have.

“Nott, we...uh...we’re moving out soon so…” the voice of a grating human woman was replaced with a softness as though she was speaking to someone who was resting rather than deceased. “What...are you doing?”

Molly looked up at Beau with a smirk, “please stop her, she’s turning my head into a flowerbed.” He teased and naturally received no answer. His smile dropped a little as it began to sank in. He was on the other side of life now, watching with absolute, alien envy of them all.

“I was just thinking...if Jester were her she’d probably want to make him look pretty or something...and if-if Yasha was here she might have brought him flowers...They’re not here to say goodbye...but they should be here.” Nott mumbled a little, as the realization their once large group was nothing more than three, beaten, downtrodden wanderers.

Beau’s face twitched, her eyes began to blink repeatedly as she batted back tears. “Ah...fuck…” she pressed the heel of her palm against her eye roughly, pressing down like a dam against the small streams that gathered. “If...Fjord was here he’d have some good words to say…” They went silent, if their party was fully here perhaps...perhaps one of them wouldn’t be dead.

“You know...you could say something, you have been practicing and all…”

Molly shook his head, “Oh gods no, I’m already dead don’t kill me any further.”

Her face shook a bit, “what’s there to say? I was right there...and I couldn’t do...I should have…” She paused a minute, “we lost a lot before we started this journey, things we could get back or replace in time and hard work...this...Molly, is not one of them.”

Shit...Mollymauk slowly lowered his head to his still, deceased form. That was the nicest thing that trash human ever said to him, he mused to himself.

“—should we bury him?”

“Oh god please don’t my fucking robe—“

“Nah...get dirt on his fancy digs? Molly would die in the afterlife too” Beau responded to Nott much to Mollymauk’s relief. “Let’s uh...lets wrap him up, lets...do him right.”

Beau slowly without looking him in the eye, picked Molly up and began to walk. They didn’t get far into the thicket, but found a rather lovely tree with flowers growing a long the roots. While she worked in wrapping him up in a rather gaudy tapestry of gold and silver, Nott spent a few seconds with her dagger, carving the letters, M.T, into the trunk.

“...See ya around...you fucking…” her voice broke clearly, Molly watched a pained smile across her face as Beau’s eyes welled with tears. Even though he knew she couldn’t, he felt her looking at him, at his eyes as she muttered. “You asshole…”

“Right back at you...wonderfully terrible trash woman.” He held up a hand, as Nott and Beau lingered for only a moment before turning and walking away. He watched them with a longing to follow but knew...knew that whatever was coming for him would come.

He leaned up against the tree beside the carefully wrapped, humanoid figure that was now him. “Now that I’m forced to look at this forever, that is a god awful design”

Molly closed his eyes, waiting for something to bring him to where he was suppose to be. He couldn’t stay in this in between watching life around him for eternity. That would have been a hell...or perhaps this was it and he was repaying for something he had done. Had he done anything worth repenting? He mulled over his moral choices.

Nothing he deemed...totally deplorable.

The soft crunch of feet apparching forced him awake. He immediately went to grab his weapon and realized...he had none. He shook his head, it was going to take a while to get out of the habit of being...well...alive. He looked at the figure approaching, eyes tensed, hands nervously rubbing over each other, “Caleb—“

“Molly…” He seemed to almost react as though he heard him, Molly allowed himself a small bit of hope perhaps the strange, uniquely wonderful wizard could. Most likely not, but still. Slowly the red haired human man, walked around to the other side of Molly’s wrapped corpse and gingerly began to unwrap just his face.

Eyes still blazed open and wide.

“Hasn’t anyone told you, staring is rude…” Mollymauk kept his own gaze away. He didnt have the stomach to star at himself much longer.

“I was not prepared to lose you today…” Caleb muttered…”You should know I was prepared to leave...ya...that night before when I was on watch alone...I really thought about leaving...Because I had no place here, with them, with you.” He motioned with his hand, “I am not strong enough to do anything but hid, my whole purpose has nothing to do with any of you but...I couldn’t do it.” Caleb slowly brought his knees to his chest.

“Oh Caleb, enough of that now it's…” He reached with his phantom hand and phased right through Caleb’s cheek. Molly froze in mystified horror.

Caleb roughly rubbed his face, pulling at the growing roots of his facial hair. “But how could I leave all of you...Beau, Nott...you...I don't belong here, especially with you, a fucking rainbow...ja but I guess I have trouble letting go…”

Molly turned his head and watched as Caleb began to rummage through his pockets, muttering frantically under his breath. He watched with somber interest as gently Caleb moved his hands over Molly’s opened eyes and closed them once more. He placed two dull copper pieces over each eye. “We’ll talk about this later…” Caleb cracked a smile, a small lopsided grin before leaning in. His lips softly pressed against the cold flesh of Mollymauk’s chilled lavender forehead. “Mr. Mollymauk.”

A delicate, almost thin layer of magical essence coated Molly as Caleb gingerly wrapped him up again. Molly felt the warmth of the magic over his skin and broke into a small cry. “Later then...Mr. Caleb” He smirked, head resting on the tree.

For all the while, he chased life, knowing that he was hurling towards death. A pull he knew, whether he liked it or not he was on borrowed time, a borrowed body...a borrowed life and soon it would be time. He thought he had grown to accept it, like stars once blinking balls of light and fury also came to their inevitable ends. Their light still stained the skies for many years to come.

Mollymauk had seen his life such as that, a star. Who once blown out, his life and light would remain for a few more years after him.

But he was not at peace with this. He wasn’t chasing life and waiting for death. He had been running from death. Desperate to prove he deserved to be alive because he lived so extreme in every moment. His downfall no doubt. He deserved this body, this life, this chance...he deserved more than nothing.

Molly curled into himself, pressing his head to the top of his knees as tearless sobs broke through his rib cage. He didnt want this. He refused, he wanted to live, he wanted more moments in the sun. More cold nights around a fire, he wanted the pains of fight and the ecstasy of love of someone he loved in return.

“I suppose we’ll have to try again, Molly” A woman’s melodic voice whispered to him. Molly turned his head a bit and stared at the faint, pale glow of a beautiful elven woman who was a few feet away from him. He...knew this aura...he had felt her before in his darkest hours. “Come...lets ...find you a way out before he does.”

Molly slowly rose to his feet, he took one glance back at his body and then at the elf woman.

His soul departed, unsure to where or what. But he followed the woman to whatever she had planned for him.

Slow did a star form beside the full moon that night.

As the moonweaver walked her son to his new, great beginning.