#but look at these lyrics man the entire song is about being insane being extra and still putting on a show

[big-tiddy-goth-ghoulfriend]

has anyone made an AMV of Sam Reid's Lestat set to "2econd 2ight 2eer" by Will Wood yet or do I have to do all the fucking work around here (I do not in fact make AMVs and I said that for comedic effect; if you like IWTV and make AMVs I highly recommend checking out that song.)

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

pause, m | myg | 2

pairing(s): yoongi x reader

summary: Life is like a cassette tape. It seems like it’s constantly repeating, flipped from side A to side B, and the songs can’t be skipped. You can only pause, rewind, fast forward, play after you’ve already heard the song. After you’ve already lived it. All Min Yoongi knows is his own tape, until it smashes right at his feet, and then he has to learn to dance to a different beat.

warnings: rated M (18+) - please be warned this story has a physically and verbally abusive relationship; language; emotional manipulation; gender stereotyping; non-idol!AU; music producer!Yoongi x dancing fanatic!reader

rated M because I know how sensitive a topic domestic abuse is.

The music reader listens to is inspired by Frederic, specifically their songs ‘oodloop’, ‘OWARASE NIGHT’, and ‘Kanashii Ureshii’ and you can look up the MVs on YT. They have subs, yes the lyrics inspired certain scenes, no I have no idea what is going on, and I don’t know why they’re dancing like that lol

–

1.

-

She slapped him across the face.

You froze.

The cassette smashed.

“I hate you, Min Yoongi!”

She shouted it so loud that you heard it over your music. Your finger instinctively went to your earbud and tapped it, pausing the sound. You couldn’t believe your eyes. What had this guy done? What had this guy done to be yelled at like that the second he stepped off the night train to stand in front of his girlfriend?

“Useless piece of trash, always fucking late!”

Slapping him over and over, so loud because the train station was completely empty except for you and these two, yelling obscenities and the guy was just standing there, taking it, saying, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, sorry for what? Why did she keep hitting him? Why? Stop it. Stop hitting him.

“Such a fucking waste of life, I can’t believe I have to be your girlfriend!”

Stop it.

“No one will ever fucking love you, you shithead, so I’m stuck with your stupid self!”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry…”

Mumbles. Fear.

Stop it!

“You think anyone will ever do anything for you the way I do? I’m all you have!”

Within two seconds, you crossed the space between you and them.

You smacked her hand away from him.

Pause.

You hesitated to press play. Standing in front of this random guy you didn’t even know, fury in your chest so strong that you forgot you were a stranger, glaring at this scowling, rage-filled woman with vehement disdain. You had no idea what the fuck was going on, you had no idea why he was being slapped so much, you had no idea why this woman was so angry and maybe there were very good reasons for it all, but somehow.

Somehow you didn’t think so.

Play.

“Stop it. He said he was sorry,” you barked, narrowing your eyes.

Her pretty face twisted with rage. “Who the fuck is this bitch, Yoongi? A whore you picked up?”

“I… I don’t know her…” the man behind you rasped, trying to move around you, but you kept yourself between the two, shouldering your backpack.

“I don’t know him. I just know you shouldn’t be hitting someone like that.”

The woman snapped at you, rising to her full height, challenging you. “This isn’t any of your fucking business. This is between me and him and doesn’t concern outsiders. Tell her, Yoongi.”

But you didn’t let Yoongi tell you, cutting him off as he tried to speak.

“This isn’t my business, but I’ve seen enough examples to be able to spot domestic violence when I see it,” you growled.

The woman scoffed, flipping her hair. “Domestic violence,” she snorted. “He’s a man. It’s not like I hit him that hard. I’m a woman.”

You curled your hands into fists.

“You stupid bully.”

The woman looked taken aback. “What?”

“I said, you’re a stupid fucking bully,” you snarled, taking a step forward and forcing her to take one back. “You think this is nothing, until you have children and your children have to watch this shit over and over, every night, thinking it’s right, thinking it’s the way it should be, but you’re fucking wrong, because this is not a relationship, this is not love, this is fucking bullying and you are a stupid, dumb bully who can’t admit you have an inferiority complex and your kids will spend years in fucking therapy wondering why they don’t understand how to make relationships with other human beings because their mom was a terrible fucking example, so do me a fucking favor and get the fuck out of here and leave this guy alone, because you are an absolute sewage of a human being.”

She gawked at you, slack-jawed, probably never been talked to in such a forceful manner before, but you didn’t care, because you didn’t spend years in therapy to watch this shit happen right in front of your face.

Never in your entire life had you ever been so angry at a stranger before.

The woman seemed to gather her bearings and spat at the floor, staining the concrete with her spit. You raised your eyebrows, unintimated. She stamped her foot at your lack of reaction, pointing accusingly at Yoongi behind you.

“Don’t you ever think about coming back home. I’m burning all your shit.”

She turned her heel and stomped away.

You almost expected Yoongi to run after her, but he didn’t. He just stood behind you and breathed laboriously. You suddenly realized that you might have done something mildly insane. She said she was going to burn all his shit.

“Hmph,” you heard the mumble behind you. “All I had was clothes anyway.”

You turned around. He wasn’t looking at you. His black hair was all over his face, and his face mask was half-pulled down, revealing his red cheeks. You looked away quickly, taking a step back.

“Are you… okay?” you asked quietly.

You saw his eyes shift around. He didn’t actually respond. Just shrugged.

You bit your lip.

Silence.

“There… are no more trains,” the Yoongi guy whispered.

“Y… Yeah.”

Silence.

The lights above you were harsh, casting large shadows all over the concrete. Nothing but the sounds of the city and the darkness above, the moon witnessing it all.

He turned away from you, walking over towards the benches. Walking away. The crumpled paper of a man, shrinking as he took one step, then another, farther and farther away from you, and you opened your mouth to shout after that black back, extending your hand in the air.

“H-Hey!”

Pause.

He turned his head around to look at you with broken and lonely eyes.

“If you want… I have a couch and some blankets.” You swallowed, knowing how crazy it was. “Because… You shouldn’t go back. I…” Don’t want you to end up like my dad. “Even if it’s one night.”

I want to break this cycle.

“Just one.” You lowered your hand, holding up one finger. “One.”

Yoongi didn’t say anything.

Only turned around wordlessly and walked back to you, stopping in front of you. Saying nothing.

He didn’t say anything the entire walk.

Didn’t say anything as you opened the door and gestured him inside. Showed him the couch, got him the blankets. Asked him if he wanted anything else. He shook his head instead of talking. You ran to your room and got him a spare pillow. Held it out to him. He took it silently. Ran off again and got a new toothbrush from your stash of toothbrushes. An unopened travel toothpaste. Asked him if he wanted anything to eat. A glass of water. He shook his head.

Showed him the bathroom. A shower?

Shake, shake.

Okay.

You told him if he was cold to let you know. You would find another blanket.

Yoongi said nothing.

You nodded and turned away, letting him be. It was hard to look at him. You didn’t want him to think you pitied him or anything. But he reminded you too much of your dad if you stared at him too long. You had gotten him everything you could think of and let him know that if he needed anything to tell you.

You went to your bedroom and let out a big sigh.

No dance party tonight.

You went to your computer and opened Spotify. Put your headphones on and listened to the music, letting it carry you away. Before you knew it, one song flowed into another. You slowly began to bounce your head to the music, the cheerful, quirky beats making you smile, your hands moving on their own, lip-syncing the lyrics.

A happy tune with sad lyrics, but it made you smile at the same.

You failed to notice Yoongi appear at your door, holding his phone. He needed a charger. Did you have one? And then he saw the back of your head, bouncing along, headphones on.

He retreated back to your living room, clutching his phone. Decided to go to sleep instead.

Hours later, you finally decided to sleep, placing your headphones down. Was Yoongi sleeping? You padded over to the dark living room, seeing a bundled form on your couch. His coat was over the blanket. His head was under the blanket. Was he cold? You went back to your room and collected a pink knit one. Walked back to the living room and moved his jacket aside onto the armchair, putting the extra blanket on top of him.

His phone was on your coffee table, flashing. It was low on battery.

You checked if it was Android or iPhone. Android. Good, because you didn’t have a lightning cable, although you would have gone to the twenty-four-hour convenience store nearby to get one if he did have an iPhone. Back to your room. Got a charger and struggled to find an outlet in the dark. You’d think you would know where your own outlets were, but apparently you were too sleepy to remember. You felt around in the dark and poked at an outlet, stabbing the wall repeatedly before plugging it in. Maybe you should have turned a light on, sheesh.

You snaked the cable around and plugged his phone in. It vibrated approvingly and you gave it a thumbs up, even though it was an inanimate object.

Let’s just say living alone made you weird.

You let out an exhale and wandered off to brush your teeth.

Not noticing Yoongi had woken up and been watching your struggle. Saying nothing.

Pause.

Fast forward.

-

Morning.

You yawned and nearly jumped when you saw the unmoving pink blob on your couch. Oh, right. You were surprised he wasn’t awake, but you shrugged. The blankets were over his head, blocking out the sun. You tried to stay quiet, opening your fridge, staring at the contents.

Staring at it with a million question marks.

You had… kimchi. Eggs. Cheese. Definitely expired take-out. You took that out and dumped it in the trash can, grimacing at it. A stranger didn’t need to see how disgusting that was. You went back to your fridge. Um. It wasn’t that you couldn’t cook, it was that you didn’t have jack shit. And if you cooked on the stove, you would definitely wake up Yoongi.

Your stomach screamed in rage.

Feed me!

Ah, well. Sorry Yoongi. You settled on a kimchi-egg-cheese pancake thing. Was it going to be good? Sure. Was it not the most elegant thing in the world? Maybe. What can you do?

You began to chop the kimchi.

-

Yoongi turned over on the couch, groaning. He heard the sizzle of the pan. Smelled spice. Eggs. The world was unfamiliar. No one was yelling at him to get up. No one was doing the blankets off of him and calling him a lazy pig. 

"Motherfuc–!"

A female voice cursed in a loud whisper. You cut yourself off, muttering.

"Stupid oil, ugh."

Not his girlfriend. 

Slowly, Yoongi pulled the blankets off his head. An unfamiliar scent, different laundry detergent than he was used to. The sofa smelled different too, like vanilla with a hint of stale popcorn. Probably from being dropped in the cushions and forgotten about until months later. 

His stomach growled. 

The smell of the food enticed him. He got up, seeing you at the stove, wearing black pajamas with the sleeves rolled to your elbows, and a cream scrunchie holding your hair up. You made a face at the pan and scolded it. 

"Who's the boss here?" you hissed hotly at the sizzling food. "That's right, me, because I'm about to eat your ass, so simmer down and stop trying to singe my arm hair off."

Yoongi blinked. 

He got off the couch as you continued your quiet tirade, shoving your hand into a bag of cheese and sprinkling it on top, laying down a generous layer. 

You should cover it, Yoongi thought. To let the cheese melt. 

You grabbed a pan lid, and covered it. The lid definitely went to a separate set because it was a different shade of silver, but it didn't matter. You mumbled triumphantly at the pan. 

"Ha, take that, you stupid eggs, who's in the hot seat now, eh?"

Yoongi stared.

You lifted the lid and checked the cheese. A billow of smoke floated out. You seemed satisfied and turned off the gas. Lifted the pan and spun around. 

Froze. 

Yoongi blinked at you. 

Your eyes were wide, still holding the hot pan. 

Silence. 

A good ten seconds past. 

You slowly put the pan on the cork potholders at the counter. Two plates were at the counter with two sets of chopsticks.

"Uh... I made a kimchi-egg pancake t-thing..." you stuttered. "With cheese on top. You don't have to eat it. But I'm not going to poison you or anything. Er, well, that's something a someone who would poison you would say, huh? Oh, maybe I should have checked the expiration date on the kimc–"

"Why do you talk to your food?" Yoongi asked pointedly.

You turned bright red. 

"Um... bad habit. 'Cause I live alone..." You shifted your eyes. "No one... to talk to."

Yoongi stared at you. 

You turned around abruptly and grabbed a knife. Took off the pan lid. The kitchen was suddenly filled with the delicious smell of eggs and kimchi. The cheese bubbled as you cut it into pizza-like slices.

Yoongi sat down at the barstool, staring at it. He was the one who usually cooked. He hadn't had a home-cooked meal by someone else in forever. Not since he lived with his parents. 

That was a long time ago. 

"I seasoned the eggs beforehand and poured it on the sautéed kimchi..." You placed a plate with a pair of chopsticks in front of him, ears still red. You avoided looking him in the eye, scratching your cheek. "I, uh, have to go grocery shopping," you mumbled, taking a slice. "Sorry it's not that fancy..."

Yoongi picked up the chopsticks and took a slice. He blew in it carefully and took a small bite. Spicy, savory, delicious. He took another bite. And another. The food was hot, almost burning the roof of his mouth. This must be a dream. He wasn't in his nightmare. He wasn't going to question it. 

As long as he wasn't in his nightmare, he could pretend this was reality. 

Yoongi didn't notice you watching him with relief. 

He took another slice. The meal was quiet, but not suffocatingly so. It was calm, only interrupted by chewing. You reached into the cabinet below you and produced a water bottle. Put it next to him. Didn't say anything. Yoongi are three more slices, throat prickling with the spice, lips puffy, before he opened the water bottle and drank from it.

"If you want, I can direct you to a shelter."

Yoongi put the water bottle down. Stared at his stained, now empty plate. 

"Or you can call a friend to shelter you," you continued. "You can even get a restraining order if we involve the police–"

"No."

He said the word with harsh finality. 

"It's not that bad."

It wasn't. He was just being a child, running away. 

"... Okay."

Yoongi looked up. For a split second, there was immense pain in your eyes. Why? None of this was happening to you. You didn't know anything. You were just some stranger. Why was he even here? Why had he come here to sleep on some random couch? So dumb. Some random woman couldn't save him from his problems. 

... Your kids will spend years in fucking therapy wondering why they don’t understand how to make relationships with other human beings because their mom was a terrible fucking example...

Yoongi stilled as he remembered your words from last night. That was far too specific. His brows furrowed. You let out a sigh and took his plate.

"Do you want a shower?" you asked. "I have spare towels."

Yoongi tilted his head. "I don't have a change of clothes." He stared at the hardwood floor. "And my other clothes are probably burned by now."

You placed the dishes in the sink and began to wash them. 

"We can go buy some. I need groceries anyway."

He didn't understand why you were being so nice to him. It was strange. You didn't know him. Well, actually... he didn't even know your name either. 

"Uh..."

You looked up from the dishes, hands covered in soap. Yoongi did all the dishes at home. He did all the housework, in fact. This was weird, watching another person do housework. His voice was quiet, timid, crumpled like a piece of paper. 

"What's your name?" 

-

"Do you want white or black?"

You held up two multi-packs of t-shirts in his size.

"Uh... Black."

You dumped the black in the cart and put the other back. Yoongi stayed behind you, not picking out anything. You were wearing your backpack, a black cap, red wide-knit sweater, and black jeans. Black combat boots, the familiar staple for you. The two of you are standing in an aisle at the local convenience store. Yoongi was still wearing the same clothes from last night – black parka, black turtleneck, black jeans, black face mask. 

He mostly stared at the floor, following your boots. 

"White or black?"

Yoongi looked up to see you on the other side of the cart, holding two multi-packs of underwear. White briefs and black boxer briefs. He felt his cheeks heat up as you blinked at him. Instead of speaking, he grabbed the black boxer briefs from your hand, intending to chuck them into the cart.

Except his jacket sleeve caught a strand of your red sweater, the Velcro sticking to and unraveling it, so that when he twisted his hand to throw the plastic pack into the cart, the yarn tangled around his fingers and got caught, rapidly getting pulled around. Your eyes widened, gasping as the red string was yanked from your sweater. 

"O-oh!"

"Fuck!"

His hand was tangled in it and the part around your wrist tightened, the missing yarn causing the constriction. Yoongi cursed again, trying to shake free, panic rising. Oh no, fuck, what if you got angry? What if you started yelling at–?

You laughed. 

You started laughing. Yoongi froze, slowly lifting his head to witness your laughter. Your shoulders shook, shaking your head, big smile on your face. The yarn hung in the air, shaking a little.

The red string connecting you to him. 

Yoongi stared. 

At you.

His heart thudded in his chest. 

Thump. 

"Hold on," you chortled, reaching over and following the red yarn.

Thump.

His heart was like a bass drum. Consistent and loud, rhythm in his own ears. You untangled the mess slowly, carefully, wrapping the exposed end loosely around your wrist. Finally, it was off his fingers. Your fingers were centimeters from the back of his hand. You grasped the red yarn tightly. Yoongi looked at the end, trapped in the Velcro of his parka.

Thump. 

A fleeting feeling. 

Happiness.

You ripped the red yarn off, the end frizzy and scraggly. 

Another fluttering feeling. 

Sadness. 

You backed up, going back to the cart, tucking the end in next to your wrist, all chuckles. Thump, thump, thump. He couldn't breathe. It was impossible. What was going on? Why did he suddenly start shaking all over?

"I'm sorry," he blurted, breathless in panic. 

You shook your head, waving a hand. 

"Don't worry about it. This thing is old anyway." You pointed to the rack. "Is four enough? Or do you need more?"

"U-uh..."

"Let's get one more. I can always return it if you change your mind."

-

"Do you have a job to go to? Because I have to go soon," you were saying as you shoved the groceries into the fridge. Yoongi was unwrapping the plastic and cutting off the tags from the few clothing items you two had bought. 

"Um... yeah, I work at a music studio..." Yoongi mumbled. "I make my own hours."

"And it ends right before the last train, right?" you affirmed, nearly dropping the green onions and making a mad dash for them before they touched the ground. Whew. You shoved them back in your fridge. You didn’t really have an organization system. You probably should. Being an adult was hard.

"... Yeah."

"Cool, you should take a shower now then. I'll get a towel, hold on!"

You scrambled out of the kitchen to find a towel in the linen closet, the fridge door still open. 

"... Alright..."

-

Pause.

Fast forward.

-

Yoongi spent the entire train ride tense. You sat in your usual spot, humming along, bobbing your head to your music in your earbuds. Neither of you attempted to sit next to the other. Yoongi fully expected his girlfriend to be there as he stepped out of the train, at the last stop. He thought he was going to get yelled at once again. He thought she would be there to smack him upside the head again. He braced himself as the doors opened, exhaling deeply as he walked out of the sliding doors.

"Ugh, I need some energy," you mumbled behind him, yawning. 

No one was there. 

The bright streetlamps only illuminated the concrete. 

"Hey, Yoongi."

He turned his head to see you tilting yours. 

"You coming?"

You bounced on your heels. He remembered your usual routine. 

"Wanna race?" you asked with a big grin. 

-

Morning. Night. Morning. Night. 

Empty station at the last stop. No one but you and him getting off. 

Morning. Night. 

"Hey, Yoongi."

Morning. 

"You coming?"

Night. 

“Wanna race?”

Repeat.

The cassette tape replayed over and over, flipped around in the stereo, day in, day out, stuck on replay, a weird reality that wasn't his until it became his, seeing your face when he woke up, watching you cook breakfast in the morning, chastising inanimate objects when you thought he wasn't looking.

Your lips asking him once again. 

"You coming?"

Then you and him, breaking out into a run, racing to your apartment. 

At first, Yoongi didn't smile. 

Then one day, he did. 

And he kept smiling, smiling as he ran breathlessly with you. 

-

"What are you doing?"

You froze. 

Literally one second before you heard those words, you had been wiggling your arms like an octopus in front on your full-length mirror, flapping the long sleeves of your over-sized blue sweatshirt, your billowy knee-length gray shorts following suit. You reached up to your Bluetooth headphones to take them off.

And realized, with heated cheeks, that the music was not coming from your headphones, but the Bluetooth speakers on your desk, blaring the odd twangs of guitar and quirky drum beats, paired with whiny, almost nonsensical lyrics. 

You turned around. 

Yoongi stood at the entrance of your bedroom door, staring. He was wearing a black t-shirt. Black sweatpants that were slightly too short, exposing his pale ankles. 

The song went into the guitar solo. 

He blinked at you. 

"Uh... dancing?"

Blink. 

Normally after work, Yoongi would either be asleep or watching television in your living room. You told him cable came with the apartment and you never watched TV, so he should at least watch some in your stead. You usually went to your room. The first couple nights, you only danced in your chair. Then you got up and danced next to your desk, and then you were back to your wacky mirror dancing, thinking that if it was though headphones, then Yoongi wouldn't notice. 

But, of course, you had disturbed him with your music blasting through the speakers, which had never been disconnected all this time because, well, how were you supposed to know? They must have connected because your over-ear headphones died.

"That was dancing?" Yoongi echoed.

Your eyes shifted. "Er... it's stress relieving?"

Yoongi stared at you.

Blink. 

The song changed. One of your favorites. 

Your shoulders began to bounce. Your head tapped to the beat. Then your heel. 

Blink. 

"Are you possessed?" Yoongi asked with a deadpan look. 

The tune was getting to the good bit with the xylophone. Fuck it. He had already seen you octopus it up. You began to bob your head from side to side, breaking out to a big grin, shooting him some finger guns before going back to your full-body jiggle and arm flapping, singing along on the top of your lungs, prancing around your room, Yoongi staring at you the entire time in mild shock. He probably thought you were psychotic, but who cared, because you were clapping along to the snare drum, skipping in circles, pointing at him at certain parts in the lyrics and playing air guitar. 

His normally downcast cat-like eyes were huge.

You grabbed his hands at the guitar solo and he yelped, his arms rippling as you swung them around, you stumbling through the lyrics, singing the absurd words, and Yoongi gawking wide-eyed.

The song went to the final chorus and you wiggled like a fucking squid. 

Only to see Yoongi burst out laughing and wiggle his arms with you, tiny wiggles compared to your full-blown tentacle swings, but it made you laugh too, because it was all stupid and ridiculous and very embarrassing. 

With a start, you realized you had seen Yoongi laugh. 

And he looked so wonderful laughing, perfect teeth and pink gums, huge smile and scrunched-up face, black hair falling back from the strength of his chuckling, revealing his lovely fair-skinned features and those cat-like eyes sparkling.

Sparkling with brightness. 

The song ended and you were panting breathlessly.

Yoongi raised his eyebrows in disbelief, half-smirk on his lips. 

"Your music taste is nuts."

You smiled as the next song started. 

"Nah, this is just my nighttime dance party music. It's supposed to be crazy."

You flapped your sleeves to the beat of the drum. Grinned at him. 

"Because every night should be a dance party."

And you started dancing again, Yoongi watching you and laughing, even joining in sometimes. 

From then on, every night was a dance party. At one point, Yoongi started to bring you songs and weird beats he discovered for you to dance to. He even said a few times, "Hey, I made this. Can you make a dance from it?"

You'd dance to anything. 

You weren't great at it. 

But it was always hilarious. 

And it was always worth it, watching Yoongi laugh all night. 

-

Pause. 

Fast forward. 

Wait. Are you sure?

You can always rewind. 

You don't have to press play. 

Pause.

Play. 

-

“Do you like rap?”

You were sitting next to Min Yoongi on the night train. There were still people around, not yet the last stop. He was clutching his phone, face mask on his chin. He looked a little nervous.

“Yeah, of course. I like all music,” you said cheerfully. “Something you want me to dance to?”

Yoongi chuckled a little, giving you that little half-smirk. “No.” He took a deep breath. “I’m a… music producer. And I… I make music. And I wondered if you wanted to listen to a little bit my mixtape.”

“I do.”

Yoongi looked taken aback. You grinned.

“I definitely want to listen to it.”

You connected your earbuds to his phone and listened carefully. His words, his beat, his rhythm. Yoongi sat beside you, wrapped in his black parka, looking nervous as he chewed on his lip, but you didn’t notice, bobbing your head to certain bits, mouthing the chorus, raising your eyebrows as he altered the framework of a traditional song. He had only five tracks on the playlist, but you listened to them all, holding his phone. When the playlist ended, you clicked back to your favorite parts and replayed them, over and over, listening to his strong, raspy voice.

Yoongi sounded confident when he was rapping.

Like he was meant to do it, perfectly expressing himself with his simple words and elegant phrasing, his anger, his sorrow, his hopes. You could tell there was an underlying theme, an uncertainty about the future. As if he was taking steps to an invisible, unlit path, and he wasn’t sure whether to run forward without a guiding light or go back to all he knew.

You handed him back his phone with a smile. You understood him a little better now.

“Well?” he asked, still biting his lip.

“I really like it,” you said. “Especially your vocals. It’s different from other voices I’ve heard.”

“… It’s not that–”

“And I like your lyrics. They’re simple, but they pack a punch and make you think.” You smiled widely. “I like music that makes me want to listen to it over and over again. That’s how your rap makes me feel.”

Yoongi looked stunned.

You pointed to his phone. “You could release it just like this, if you wanted.” You tilted your head. “Hm, maybe a few more songs though. It seems like you’re trying to tell a story.”

He blinked rapidly, putting his phone in his pocket. “Y-Yeah… I’m working on a few more that I want to add.”

You nodded. “That’d be awesome.”

The train screeched to a halt. There was no one in the car. That was your cue. You stood, stretching first and then shouldering your backpack. Yoongi stood as well, pensive and silent. The train doors slid open. He walked out first and you followed. Streetlights harsh and bright on the concrete. Yoongi did his usual routine of looking to the edge of the train station.

Both of you froze.

“Get the fuck over here, Yoongi.”

You recognized her. She might be wearing a different dress and a different coat, but it was the same woman all right, with the same harsh scowl.

“I knew you wouldn’t be a man and face the music. Instead, you went off prancing with some whore.”

“She’s not a whore,” Yoongi muttered, pulling up his face mask.

You didn’t say anything. There was a sudden pressure on your chest, an overwhelming, tense heaviness, because you knew what was coming.

“Are you telling me that you’re not going to come home to the woman you supposedly love, the one you were supposedly going to marry and give a comfortable life to?” the woman accused. “Are you telling me that you can’t take responsibility for your actions? That you’re not a man, but a child?”

Yoongi took a step towards her.

The weight in your chest felt like a ton of bricks crushing you.

Another step.

“Yoongi.”

He turned his head, dark brown eyes flickering to you.

You smiled.

Smiled even though the moment was killing you.

“I… I have to finish this,” he mumbled, the sparkle in his eyes dulling with every passing second.

You kept the bright smile on your face.

Like a cheerful-sounding song with sad lyrics.

“Okay.”

Pause.

You wanted to rewind. You wanted to rewind so bad, even if it was only to ten minutes before this painful moment. With a shaking hand, you pressed play.

“My door is always open for you, Yoongi.”

He made eye contact with you. He nodded.

“Goodbye.”

You turned and ran.

Ran and ran, hoping he was running after you, but you knew he wasn’t, you knew he was walking towards that toxic woman and you could do nothing about it, you couldn’t care, you just had to keep running, running and running until you hit your front door, fumbling with your keys and running inside, slamming the door closed.

You froze.

You wanted to scream.

Instead, you ran to your room and threw up a specific playlist, a playlist full of cheerful-sounding songs with agonizing lyrics, hopeful beats tainted by upsetting words, and danced the night away, danced and danced. Not wanting to think about the blankets on the couch, the suitcase you had dragged out to let Yoongi borrow and put his clothes in, not wanting to think about his toothbrush on your bathroom sink, not wanting to think about all those nights dancing stupidly in this bedroom with him, and focusing only on dancing alone, singing the night away, on and on and on until you couldn’t stand anymore, couldn’t sing anymore, and you just fell on your bed and passed out, completely drained.

Physically.

Emotionally.

Empty.

-

3.

--

masterpost

[caramelcal]

Songwriting and Fake Dating {3}

Word Count: 2.2k

a/n: hey guys! hope you all enjoy this one as you enjoyed the last one...

this is dedicated to charlie’s mustache. rip :(

also thanks to the person who originally requested this, legend behavior hahah :) hope you guys are having a wonderful night lovelies x 

disclaimer: I do not condone the use of my work/writing without my permission. The only place this has been posted is on my (rosemoonmist) tumblr account. This has not been posted on any other platform either. If you see any plagiarism of my work please let me know! <3 People work hard on their fics, so don’t steal them ty.

taglist:@gia-kerks​ @phantompogues​ @thesweetestsinner​ @honeyheartzz​ @ifilwtmfc​ @hoechx​ @merceret​ @katrin-okay​ @diosa75​

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Another line is drawn right through the words he tried to write. Luke wants to throw his notebook at the wall. He can’t think, or write, the words just aren’t coming to him anymore. He claws at his hair as if pulling on the strands will allow his brain to breathe and come up with the lyrics he had been trying to write for the past two hours. It used to be so easy but he knows why it isn’t working. It wasn’t rocket science.

The words came easy when he was with you, maybe it was the excitement of having someone to write with, or maybe it was the emotions that you both pulled from. It just wasn’t the same anymore. It’s almost like you were the inspiration, the lyrics, and now that you were no longer there, the lyrics weren’t either. Even if you guys didn’t know each other that long and you weren’t the closest, you guys seemed to click and you wrote so much better with each other.

Maybe he just needs a breather. That’s what Luke banks on, that once he goes outside and caught wind of the fresh air, the words will come back. He places down his guitar and his pen and sets out for outside.

Before long, he finds himself sitting on the back porch, one knee up next to his chest and the other splayed in front of him. His eyes are trained upon the dark sky, watching the stars. He barely hears the quiet footsteps that approach him but he sees them sit down beside him, knees up to their chest, hugging them.

“Carrie,” Luke acknowledges, not even looking towards his step-sister when he breaks the silence between the two.

“Luke.”

They fall back into another silence for a few moments, simply watching the stars together. However, Luke’s attention isn’t really on the stars anymore as he thinks about the girl beside him. He remembered when his mom first told him that she was getting remarried and that he was going to get a step-sister. He remembers when they met, and Carrie was just a little too entitled for his taste, and Luke was a little too “street” for hers. They didn’t exactly get off on the best foot, and there were times that there was still some friction in their relationship which certainly wasn’t helped when Luke joined Julie and the Phantoms, but there were times that they were okay; when they shared a sibling bond.

It was hard for both of them to get used to each other, and their parents getting married. For Luke, it had been just him and his mom for a while, so he couldn’t help but feel apprehensive for this new life, not only for him to have a new step-dad and step-sister, but in case this man hurt his mom too. Yet, for Carrie it was different, it had always just been her and Trevor after her mom died during labor. She didn’t know what it was like having a mom, and she didn’t know if she wanted it. Arguably, she was scared; scared that her dad would no longer have time for her and would be spending it all with Emily but that definitely wasn’t the case.

Actually, everything worked out quite well, and soon enough Luke and Emily were moving into the Wilson’s household. It was a strange experience for Luke like he was invited into a whole other world. They came from very different backgrounds, Luke and Emily had never been well off, but Carrie never had to worry about not being able to pay the bills or anything to do with that, so their personalities were quite different. Yet, over the past few weeks, they had become significantly closer and spent more time talking to each other. Luke would show Carrie the songs you guys wrote, and Carrie would show Luke the choreography that you guys had been working on.

They knew exactly why they had become closer, they weren’t stupid. It was all because of you, you were their common ground. You brought the two siblings together.

“You miss her,” Luke comments, breaking the everlasting silence as he glances over at his sister. She isn’t facing the sky anymore and is instead looking down at her legs. It’s been two weeks since you and Carrie fought, where Carrie kicked you out of Dirty Candy, and she hadn’t spoken to you since.

Carrie is quiet for a few moments, almost as if she is battling herself on whether or not she should answer Luke, but she does, quietly, “Of course I do, she’s my best friend.”

A silence fills the air yet again, and Luke doesn’t know whether or not to answer Carrie. The girl has never actually opened up to him before, so for her to tell him that she was missing you was something that was new territory for the both of them. He knew that she missed you, you would have to be insane not to and he was pretty sure this was the longest that Carrie had ever gone without talking to you, so it was like life had been shifted entirely.

“You miss her too,” It’s a simple statement that Carrie makes, but it makes Luke sigh. He does, of course he does. He can’t even write without you.

“She won’t pick up my calls,” Luke says, ducking his head down as he traces the patterns on the ground of the porch. At this rate, he’s probably called you like twenty times in the last week but he always gets sent to voicemail. He knows it’s intentional, but every time he picks up his phone and presses the dial button, there’s a part that hopes you’ll pick up; that you’ll come over and wrote songs with him.

“I won’t pick up hers either,” Carrie admits, biting her lip as she continues to watch the sky, “The dirty candy girls have been bashing her, for putting the band in second place. I just want to scream at them to stop.”

“You should, it isn’t y/n’s fault. She was on her way to the studio that day but I dragged her up to my room. She lost her best friend for just helping me out with a dumb song.”

Carrie knows that Luke feels guilt for all of this. All three of them are miserable without each other and they all know it. Yet, they’re all filled with too much pride to apologize, or even to pick up one another’s calls. They know that they can’t go on like this, because as it goes on they all just feel worse and worse, but no one seems willing to make the first move.

“She always goes out her way to help others, huh?” Carrie says, reminiscing on the number of people that you have helped in the time that you guys have been friends. She remembers the way you give the Dirty Candy girls your water and snacks when they forgot theirs, meaning that you would often to without, helping old people cross the street and just being generally helpful.

You were always so eager to help anyone and everyone, no matter who it was, and that was something that Carrie always admired about you, “Most helpful person I know.”

After Luke’s statement, they are enveloped in another silence, both watching the sky peacefully before a shooting star flies overhead. They don’t speak of it, simply enjoying one another’s company which isn’t something they often find themselves doing. Deep down, they both like each other’s company, and each other, but they never say anything, both too stubborn to do so.

After a few more minutes, Luke gets up, lightly patting his sister on the shoulder, “You should answer her calls, Car.”

. . .

Being a waitress was actually surprisingly fun for you. Normally, you enjoyed serving customers, interacting with people and it was a way to get some extra money. However, right now you wanted nothing less than to be out of here, despite having hours left of your shift; in fact, you had just started.

Normally, customers were respectful and nice, but this one...this one was testing your limits. What made it worse, was that it was none other than Kayla, Carrie’s replace best friend for you and she was shouting, trying to embarrass you in front of not only the customers but in front of your colleagues as well. She’s with a few other friends, but Carrie isn’t there.

Passing you a smirk, she wipes her hand across the table, purposefully making the cutlery drop, “Pick it up, waitress.”

The rest of her group snicker as you try to hold the embarrassed blush that rises to your face. Closing your eyes momentarily, you sigh, “Kayla, I know I haven’t been the best band member but-”

“I don’t think you get it, y/n,” Kayla cuts you off, standing up and walking right in front of you, “Carrie has already told you that you’re done. I hope you would at least have a bit of dignity and to accept that instead of coming begging to me after Carrie didn’t pick up your calls.”

After she says that, Carrie obnoxiously chews on her gum, the other girls snickering. Looking around at them, their eyes on you as they laughed let you clearly know that you were no longer friends with any of the Dirty Candy girls. They were only friends with you to get in with Carrie and it makes you feel dumb that you didn’t realize that beforehand.

“Pathetic,” Kayla spits, looking up and down at the sight of your ducked head.

“Hey, watch it would you Kayla? I think you forget that even though Carrie is annoyed at y/n right now, as soon as she gets over that y/n will be right where she belongs in Dirty Candy again and as Carrie’s best friend,” Julie speaks up from the booth beside them, eyes squinting at the girl, “I think you’re letting this all go to your head too much.”

“You have no idea what Carrie is like, Julie. Plus, even if you told her that I was being a bitch to y/n she won’t listen to you,” Kayla snorts, rolling her eyes at the other girl.

“She’ll listen to her brother though, and we all know that he’ll believe me over you,” Julie responds sassily, Alex and Reggie who were beside her sharing glances. Often, they didn’t like to get involved in drama, and Julie didn’t either but just hearing how these girls were treating you made them feel horrible.

“Whatever,” Kayla says, rolling her eyes again before standing up, “Let's go girls, there seems to be a loser convention going on in here right now.”

Kayla doesn’t seem to be embarrassed, but you know well enough that she is getting out of there before she shows it. The girls are quick to follow behind her, all brushing you off and acting better than you as they pass.

Yet, you don’t pay attention to them for long as you turn towards the girl, giving her a small smile, “Thanks, Julie.”

“No problem, y/n,” Julie smiles, turning her head towards you sweetly. Noticing Alex and Reggie looking at you, you give them a shy wave and a smile before your attention is turned back towards Julie, “Can you do me a favor?”

“Of course, what’s up?” You’re prepared to take Julie’s order, considering that is what you expected her to want you to do but what she says next surprises you.

“Don’t be too hard on Luke, he really didn’t mean to get in between you and Carrie. And we just wanted to say that even if you don’t get back in with Dirty Candy, our band will always be open for you.”

. . .

It’s much later in the night, the café empty apart from you, humming softly a tune from a song you can’t remember the name of. You’re dancing a little as you give the tables one last wipe down before making your way behind the counter again. It was your turn to lock up for the night, the other waitresses already away home but you actually liked it when it was like this.

You didn’t even have the lights on as you took of your small apron-like thing and hung it up. Reaching for the keys, you stop when you hear the bell ringing, signaling that someone had entered the shop. Could they not read the closed sign?

“Sorry, we’re closed right now-” You say, whirling around and meeting hazel eyes, voice cutting off when you saw who was standing there. Clearing your throat, you shift awkwardly between two feet, “Luke.”

“Hey y/n,” Luke says softly, his hair is messy under his navy colored beanie, but you know you can’t talk, yours probably looks a lot worse. He takes a step towards you before speaking again, his voice still soft, “We need to talk.”

[manychocolatefactories]

CatCF Ruby Chocolate: Part 1, Kids and characters

This version is the last of the "four main versions". It is named after the new, fourth type of chocolate discovered in 2004 but only publically released in 2017. It is a modern version, supposed to take place in the 2010s. In this version, there are six Golden Tickets released in the world.

First Winner: Augustus Gloop

(Based on: Augustus Gloop)

This version of Augustus was inspired by the 2013 musical, more specifically by the idea of a cute little boy that eats "pigs limbs from limbs", and also swallows whole little dogs. So, something quite dark.

Augustus has a very cute face. A chubby, angelic face, like the puttis of the Renaissance paintings: blond curls, puppy eyes, a radiant smile. If he wants, he can make your heart melt like the video of a little kitten purring.

But Augustus is hungry. All of the time. He eats and snacks all day long. He dreams of food. He sleep-walks to eat. And while he adores candies and chocolate, there is one thing he loves more than anything else: meat. Meat and blood. He is a true carnivore, for him every meal rhymes with "meat". And if you leave him unattended, he will try to get meat by himself. For exemple, by attacking a living pig and devouring it on the spot. Or by biting off the fingers of a plump woman. But, of course, all of that with a cute smile and while saying sorry in the most adorable way.

Nowadays, if your cute you must be innocent, and thus forgien.

Augustus' body is not as cute as his face. It is said to be a "bloated mass of pink flesh", actually very similar to the body of a pig. His fatness is described as "ill-fitting", as if it was "forced" onto his body. His overweightness is not natural. It is puffy, flabby, bloated, but doesn't feel "natural".

Augustus also always wear ill-fitting clothes and suits.

Mrs. Gloop is a tiny woman, usually wearing a pale pink skirt suit, with her hair arranged in a crown of braids. She might be tiny, but she is bold, energetic, and speaks both clearly and loudly. She has so much presence, she often intimidates people. She keeps reminding others of how cute her son, and how eating makes him grow strong. She insists that she is a good mother who makes sure her son eats of everything (to have a balanced diet), eats well (by giving him only the finest and best-quality products (such as the Wonka bars and not their cheap rivals knock-offs), and of course, she only feeds her son because he "needs nourishment".

And don't dare criticize her, or she will scream so much, so hard and so high your ears will bleed. Just like the "original" Mrs. Gloop, this one keeps pointing out the "hooligans", saying it is better to stay at home eating food than being a violent thug on the street. My iteration sincerely believes that violence and criminality is due to poverty, hunger and lack of food, and if everyone was well-fed the world ould be at peace.

(For her, think of Mrs. Gloop the original, mixed with Bernadette from the Big Bang Theory )

Mr. Gloop (full name, Gordon Gloop, parody of Gordon Ramsey) is the son of a butcher, and the grandson of a slaughterhouse worker. He was always knee-deep in blood, and as a result grew accustomed to killing animals and cooking them (in fact the sight of blood makes him peckish). He is a tall and strong man, but suffers from a bad sleep due to his wife's horribly loud snoring.

He tried to teach his son the refinment of haute cuisine, for Mr. Gloop is a world-renowned cook, but to his disappointment Augustus only cares for raw meat and drinking blood-dipped candies. Mr. Gloop is so obsessed with having good dishes and best-quality ingredients, he keeps at the back of his house a little barnyard full of cattle (if he ever has to serve some steak or ribs to his guests). Trouble is, Augustus keeps sneaking into said barnyard to devour the poor animals.

Second Winner: Elvira Entwhistle

(Based on: Veruca Salt)

Veruca Salt being a pretty solid and complete archetype in herself (the girl who wants it all and has her parents buy her all), it is quite hard to reimagine her. So, I tried thinking about "why" she wants things - given the actions are settled and confirmed, it is the goals that are important, the motivation. And , in our time of modernity, what makes people want things? Trends, fashions, what is "in".

This reinterpretation of Veruca, named Elvira Entwhistle (after one of the old drafts names), is a mix between Chanel Oberlin from Scream Queens and Esmé Squalor from a Series of Unfortunate Events. She is a girl living for trends, for fashions, buying and acquiring all of the latest things "in", only to discard them as soon as they are "out" or not trendy anymore. Spending her time on social media, following models and influencers, she keeps going to luxury shops with her "personal assistant" (a nice name for what is a modern slave) to buy accessories, jewels, clothes, pets and whatever corresponds to the current trend.

Spoiled, impatient, self-centered and short-tempered, she needs to have the latest fashion NOW or she will get insanely angry. She also doesn't hesitate to change her personal appearance to fit all the new trends (for exemple her hair changes color and shape every week). Of course, she got her Golden Ticket because it was the current trend. Everyone was searching for it, so she had to get a Ticket to be the most "in" person around.

 Third Winner: Mike Teavee

(Based on: Mike Teavee)

For this version of Mike Teavee, I wanted to get away from the usual hyperactive and hyper-violent kid. I wanted to take back this common idea that television makes you stupid and sluggish, by making Mike the perfect embodiment of a couch potato (even though he was designed to look at the same time like a mushroom and a zombie).

Mr. and Mrs. Teavee are hard-working people, who spend their entire week working and only come back at home for very brief periods of times (usually in the week-end) before going right back at work. As a result, Mike barely knows his parents. He doesn't even know what kind of work they do. To "babysit" their son, the Teavees bought an enormous, high-definition television with a 666 channels pack, and kept telling him to not go outside due to the outside world being "dangerous" and filled with crushing bikes, killing cars, kidnappers and the like. This is how Mike began his life as a shut-in.

Spending his days looking at the television, never going outside, he ended up closing all shutters because light bothered him. Living in the dark, barely lifting his body from the couch, he only survives on candies, snacks, television-plates and microwaved/defrosted food (and the Teavee family can afford to buy a lot of it, because they are really, really rich - Mike has accounts in three different banks).

The result? A chalk-white boy. A bloated ans shapeless body. A full-moon face covered in craters and scars due to a bad case of acne. Two dead, sunken, small eyes. Speakin slowly, and often pronouncing only half of the words, Mike refuses to answer or talk to anyone while television is on : he only speaks during "uninteresting advertisements". The only thing muscular in his body are his fingers, that got a lot of muscle mass due to twitching frenetically all day long on the remote to channel-hop.

Mike is actually a very intelligent boy, but all his cleverness and intellectual gifts are buried and wasted by the brain-washing of his shut-in life and his television obsession. He got his Golden Ticket because his parents often buy him Wonka bars as "television snacks". Even though, in his own words, he prefers food that "tastes like plastic".

Fourth Winner: Violet Beauregarde

(Based on: Volet Beauregarde)

What is Violet, originally? She is a girl that seeks fame and attention, that is snarky, that is nasty towards people, and that does stupid records. What reflects that perfectly in our day and age? Reality television shows!

Violet Beauregarde was strongly inspired by the most brainless and "sassy/nasty" stars of reality television and the Internet. She is a teenage girl wearing clothes of such bright, flashy and clashing colors it often hurts people's eyes. Her face is covered in makeup, her hair is covered in extensions and her hands are covered with fake fingernails.

She thinks she can be as rude and horrible as she wants, as long as she calls it "sassy". But on the other side, she considers "rude" anyone or anything that doesn't please her, or that is too "ugly" or "dirty" for her. She is the kind of girl that keeps screaming loudly "YAAAAAAASSS, bitches!" and "DAAAMMMNNNN", that calls herself "the queen", that chews ferociously on her gum all day long, and that says "Why are you touching me? See, you're touching me again!" while she is the one hitting people. She hates everything "old" and "boring". She keeps publishing musical albums that nobody actually buys, because she sings badly mere words (her singles being titled "Lalalala" and "Heyheyheyhey" - she never understood a song needed to have lyrics). Finally, her biggest dream is to be part of a TV-reality show.

Her father, Mr. Beauregarde, feeds his daughter's "bitchy diva" attitude and her delusions of grandeur by acting as his agent (just like in the 2013 musical). He is also the "ringleader" of Violet's circus (because Violet, with her clothes of ridiculous colors, and her enormous amount of makeup, has a clown subtext). As a result, Mr. Beauregarde is like a ringleader in acircus, a showrunner in a freak show, and also an agent. He "sells" his daughter, he organizes her interviews, he has people pay money for "extra time" with Violet, he shows her around, and finally he uses his whip (yes, he has a whip) to attack all those that try to "touch the product".

He is a short, flabby and balding man, that smokes very long and thick cigars, wears enormous rings and clothes that are garrish and clownish - his over-the-top and ridiculous fashion sense is clearly a compensation for what he lacks in height, hair and health.

 Fifth Winner: Marvin Prune

(Based on: Marvin Prune)

In the original drafts of Roald Dahl, Marvin Prune was a Mr. Know-it-All, a too-perfect schoolboy obsessed with studies, an arrogant bookworm, a haughty teacher's pet, you named it. In this version, i decided to keep the idea of Marvin being a "know-it-all", but instead of using school, books and the like, he rather uses modern technology and the Internet.

Marvin is a tech-obsessed boy. He lives for, with and through technology, to the point of neglecting to live in the real world. He thinks his over-use of technology, and all the knowledge it can provide him, make him an "intelligent" and "superior" boy (when in fact it does not).

He thinks he can claim to have been everywhere in the world because he visited virtually all the most important landmarks of the world. He claims he can speak all the languages in the world, but in fact he uses translation websites. He keeps tracks of all his bodily functions thanks to health monitors (heartbeats, blood pressure, cholesterole...) but not because he is concerned for his health, merely for the sake of knowing more things. For him, Googling something is the best solution to all your troubles, and as a result he is a self-centered and pompous boy.  

Due to his technology dependance, Marvin is actually quite a weak boy. Since he doesn't do any sport or physical activity, and since he rarely leaves his house (due to always ordering things online, having classes online and visiting places virtually), he is a quite thin and frail boy, if not emaciated - at least, a good chunk of his muscle mass has melted away.

The original parents of Marvin Prune were, in Dahl's works, teachers and school principals. I decided here to go with the opposite of a teacher : Mrs. Prune never does anything herself, and always blame it on others. There are problems in the world? For her people should fix it, but they are too lazy to do it - while she herself does nothing about it. Her son acts rude? "Someone should teach him good manners" she says. She loses all of her money? "That's because the people in charge of the economy are all incompetent!"

Mrs. Prune thinks of everything and everyone as stupid because it allows her to blame all of her problems and flaws on other people. But ultimately she never takes any kind of action herself. If someone should teach her son good manners, it is "those lazy teachers at school", certainly not her! She also dislikes things that are "foreign".

Marvin found the Golden Ticket when he ordered by mistake a chocolate bar in France : in truth, he wanted to buy a "tablet" (in French a tablet is tablette, and a chocolate bar is also a tablette de chocolat).

Marvin will also be incredibly frustrated inside Wonka's factory, because in there numeric devices mess up, stop weirdly or disfunction totally (the same way UFOs tend to mess up phones, radios, computers and the like). As a result, he becomes powerless and helpless.

 Sixth Winner: Charlie Bucket

(Based on: Charkie Bucket)

Here, I decided to really twist things up. To have a Charlie Bucket that isn't thin or malnourished, but fat! Yes, here's Chubby Charlie! (No, not Fat Charlie, this one is copyrighted)

Charlie's story is deeply linked to the story of the Wonka factory. The town Charlie lives in was built around the Wonka Factory a bit before the 20th century - it was a "worker town", created to allow the workers of the factory to live with their family next to their place of work. For more than fifty years the Factory was the only occupation and work of the town. But somewhere in the 1950s or 1960s, all the workers had to take an early retirement. They were kicked out, and the Factory closed to the public. The Factory was still working, but not hiring anyone anymore. This was an enormous blow to both the town's economy and moral. There was an economic crisis and poverty (since people were trained only to work in a candy factory).

But there was one good thing: since it was the town Wonka's products were created in, they were sold at must cheaper prices than anywhere else in the world, and all the ex-workers of the Factory got in exchange for their work coupons and reductions for themselves and all of their families - reductions on the Wonka products, of course. This was seen as a chance, because the Wonka products were world-renowned candies, even luxury goods in foreign countries. It was like being able to buy haute-couture as daily clothes and eat gastronomic cuisine every week-end.

But this good wasn't so "good". Indeed, given the poverty and lack of job in town, the ex-workers and their family relied more and more on the coupons and reductions, their diets filled with candy and sugary products. As a result, from the 1970s to the 2010s, the number of people suffering from obesity, diabetes and teeth problems blew up.

[ This background is actually a mix of two different real-world fact. Real-world fact 1: the Menier Chocolate Factory in France, aka the real-life Wonka Factory, was revolutionary for creating a town for its workers, and taking care of their health, education and the like, but closed after World War II, to the deception of everyone. Real-world fact 2: Coca-Cola, Nestlé and other big food industries tend to pay their employees with extra-sugary and extra-addictive if their own products in poor areas, such as South America - resulting in sicknesses and diseases.]

As a result, in this version Charlie is fat. Because in modern days, and in developped countries, poverty and malnourishment actually leads to obesity and diabetes, due to the cheapest food being candies and junk-food.

This version of Charlie is a very nice kid, but a kid addicted to the Wonka products. He grew up on the coupons, due to his family all being ex-workers. Grandpa Joe and Grandpa George both worked at the factory, but were too old or sick after being fired to find a new job ; Mr. and Mrs. Bucket had been trained for the factory and could barely afford new studies after its closing. Mr. Bucket became a street cleaner, while Mrs. Bucket became a receptionist and secretary for a dental office (due to the rise of tooth diseases, dental offices boomed in town, but most are actually crooked or scams).

Charlie grew up in a very humble home, with two parents working really hard to have enough money to buy food for everyone. Of course, fresh or good food is too expensive. Charlie tries to help his family the best way he can with his part-time job (making people fill surveys) and by working really hard at school. But as the years go by, his weight and his health are beginning to cause problems. Due to not having any money he can't do sports, wich makes him gain weight, and the fattest he is the hardest it is to do sport, it's a vicious circle. Every year, the scale reveals he puts on more and more weight, and faster and faster - if he doesn't do something quick, he may end up obese.

And, as I mentionned before, Charlie is truly obsessed with the Wonka products, it is an addiction. He dreams of them at night. He sticks Wonka bars wrappers on the wall of his room like posters. He drools at the mere mention of a Wonka bar. He isn't spoiled, cruel or nasty, but he is too addicted for his own good. In fact, when he finds money in the stret and buy chocolate bars with it, it is a pure act of selfishness, because he doesn't have the willpower to turn away from the candy shop and go back home.

[curriebelle]

furtively tries to express my appreciation for BTS’s insane showmanship without gaining the reputation of Being a Kpop Blog

Actually leTS TALK ABOUT THE REPUTATION OF THE KPOP BLOG 👩‍🏫

So to a certain extent I understand why “friend’s blog became a Kpop blog” is a meme. From the outside, a lot of the Kpop fan activity seems quite vapid. The impression I got in previous years was that it’s mostly about gushing over handsome boys and a/b/o rpf. And that’s not........entirely wrong, but we’ll get into that more in a sec.

Another factor is that Kpop fandom is hard to follow. The barrier to entry is higher than with other fandoms. In posts, individual Kpop stars are referred to by name, stage name, or nickname, and the band they belong to isn’t always obvious, so it’s quite easy to lump it all into “Kpop”; it takes work for a new fan to differentiate the groups if you don’t know them ahead of time. Kpop fandom has its own lingo that differs from other fan language (other media fans don’t use “bias” or “delulu” — and there’s a linguistics dissertation for you). And let’s not discount the other language barrier — Korean isn’t exactly a common first language, so it does take a bit of extra work to find subtitles and translations.

This might be why the Suddenly A Kpop Blog Event supposedly triggers a different reaction in followers. I’m still following most of my friends from crit role season 1, even though a good chunk of them blog about other stuff now (what is this Chinese show? Boy with magic flute? Gay? Help). Fittingly, I’ve seen memes about how people are ride or die for their mutuals even when they move to different fandoms, but the jokes about Kpop blogs are always a bit different — about how turning into a Kpop blog is a bit cursed of u. It’s to the point where this is only “secretly a Kpop blog” because I don’t want the “Kpop blog” reputation.

And from my fandom lurking I can say that part of that reputation is not unearned. A lot of Kpop fans on tumblr engage in it in ways I’m either disinterested in or actively opposed to (the shipping wars are as terrifying as their reputation suggests. Some were arguing one ship was an rl canon true secret relationship because someone in BTS wrote the letter K on his drawing. Even though the letter K is in his name.) The reason I’ve been “secretly a Kpop blog” is that a lot of Kpop posts don’t inspire me into reblog frenzies the way crit role memes used to, and that’s not because Kpop Stans Suck — it’s more just a matter of taste. Then again, I do like gifs, but if I start reblogging BTS gifs, then I’m a Kpop Blog......and you don’t want to be a Kpop blog.

But isn’t there a whiff of “I’m not like other girls” about all that? Like, yeah, of course Kpop fans hoard gifs of the same people and overanalyze them. That’s what fans do! Pretending I didn’t overanalyze the shit out of Taliesin and Laura’s micro-expressions before Perc’ahlia was a thing would just be disingenuous. We’re all looking too closely — one of the best things about being a fan is diving into the excess of art and making things out of it. We all make mountains out of molehills because mountains are more scenic. And, on a baser level, we are all thirsty bastards. I have SEEN you all reblogging the gifs of Chris Evans ripping the log in half, okay, and you were not doing it bc of the camera angle, just own the thirst. Even the problems the Kpop fandoms have aren’t problems unique to Kpop — aggressive shippers and “””””problematic””” fans are everywhere.

I also wonder if the reason why we don’t see as much Kpop analysis on tumblr is because we’ve created kind of a hostile environment for it. Whether you are a Kpop fan or not, we’ve all decided to treat Kpop as kind of silly — the fans give it their all in the departments of cutesy photo sets and ridiculous fic prompts, and we laugh at memes of Gimli saying “never thought I’d die side by side with a Kpop fan” anyway Stan Jungkook. Just like thirst and over analyzing, that’s not necessarily a bad thing — I love that meme, and you should Stan Jungkook — but it does mean that if you want to start taking it a bit more seriously, or even a bit more casually, the assumption is that all your old tumblr friends will ditch you because “you’ve gone to the dark side”

And that’s a shame because uhhhhhh there is some baller stuff to analyze in BTS’s discography. The album before last was based on Jungian psychology (???). Their leader and primary writer is a huge fan of multilingual puns so in the latest album he makes a three-way pun on the phrase “I’m ill” — he’s sick, he’s cool, and he’s overworked (because “il” in Korean means “work”). So is he sick or is he simply made sick by like, society’s expectations of labour under capital???? Like, you know me. Societal critique by way of pun. That’s my shit. There’s also an essay or two in me about the way BTS are marketed for fan consumption and the way we handle multilingual lyrics and the way they’re handling the temporary departure of one of their members (he is an absolute cat of a man and I hope he gets well soon).

Also fuck can J-Hope ever dance.

EDIT: I should probably acknowledge that I can only make this justification for BTS, which is the only Kpop group I really like; I got no idea about the rest of them. I do know that Shinee can Also dance.

I might get the essays out but this probably won’t become “a Kpop blog” if you’re not into that. I think I’ve internalized too much of the stigma (omg V has a song called stigma it’s so good check it out find a good translation), but also, like I said, I don’t vibe with much of the other content and I kind of only follow one extremely successful group. The gifs, though. The gifs might be coming. They are pretty, those boys.

Anyway! People don’t like Kpop for nothing so like Maybe you would also like Kpop? Who knows. At the very least, think before u meme.

[hyperactivepuppy]

Parties Are The Worst - Chapter 1

New fic! I found this partially written story in my google docs from months ago and thought some of you might enjoy it. ^.^  I had way too much fun writing all of the students being crazy XD.

Summary: Todoroki gets dragged to a party at Kirishima and Bakugo’s new apartment, but turns out his tolerance for alcohol is not as high as he thought... **Note—this is set when all of the students are in their early 20s, so there is no underage drinking :).

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28635390/chapters/70190049

~*~

Parties were the worst. They were loud, confusing, and extremely overwhelming. Why on earth would anyone choose to attend such an event?

Todoroki had been wondering this for the past hour, tucked away in the furthest corner of the room to try and escape the noise.

When Kirishima had gleefully announced the event that Monday, he immediately declined. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Kirishima—he just didn’t want to spend an evening crammed in with a bunch of hyped up 20-year-olds. Then Midoriya came along with his wide, innocent, puppy eyes and somehow managed to change his mind.

So here he was, trapped at Kirishima’s apartment while the entire class of 1A shrieked and danced. Someone had dragged all of the couch cushions onto the floor and Mina and Sero were diving off the wooden frame into a mound of pillows. Loud, obnoxious music boomed through the room and Kaminari was screaming along with the lyrics in a horrible attempt at karaoke.

Todoroki wanted to leave. The whole atmosphere was just too much. It was too loud—too overwhelming. And to make it all worse, he didn’t even have Midoriya there to help ground him. Honestly, he wouldn’t even be there if Midoriya hadn’t asked him so sweetly the day before. He’d promised to stay with him all evening and said they could sit in the corner and talk. But Kaminari somehow managed to burn all the frozen pizzas and both Midoriya and Yaoyorozu had gone to the store to buy more.

So now he was alone—anxious, tired, and with no escape. His head was starting to ache from the constant chatter, making him even less tolerant of the chaotic environment.

Sighing, he pushed away from the wall and headed toward the snack table. Maybe a drink would help. At least it would give him something to do. Methodically, he pulled a plastic cup from the stack and filled it with punch.

As he sipped the cold drink, he pulled out his phone, smiling a little as he scrolled through cat videos on Tiktok. Watching cute kittens calmed his anxious mind, but it also distracted him enough that he didn’t notice Kaminari sneak up behind him until the blond yelled in his ear.

“Hey, Todobro, wanna make drinks with us?” Kaminari asked, grinning dopily at him.

Todoroki started, looking up from his phone. He was about to politely decline the offer and head back over to his designated corner, when he remembered something Midoriya had said that morning.

It will be fine! I’ll stay with you the whole time. And if you’re feeling anxious, you could always try having a little to drink. No pressure or anything, but a bit of alcohol might help you relax a bit and enjoy yourself more.

At the time, he had dismissed the idea, wary of the adverse effects of said beverage. He’d seen what some of his classmates acted like drunk and he wasn’t too keen on throwing away his neatly filed inhibitions and making a fool of himself. Even though they were of age now, he hadn’t tried much alcohol. It was usually served at parties—something he mostly tried to avoid.

A sharp cough startled him back and he blushed when he noticed Kaminari still standing there, hand on hip as he waited for an answer. Mina had joined him and was giving Todoroki wide puppy dog eyes.

He swallowed. “Oh, uh… sure, I guess.” He still wasn’t sure if it was the best idea, but it had to be better than standing against the wall stressing. At least he hoped so.

“Yes!!” Mina punched a hand in the air, rushing over to the kitchen. “Kiri, do you have any tequila?”

Kirishima poked his head around the door, eyebrows raised in interest. “We making drinks?”

“Yup!” Kaminari cheered, almost dropping the two glasses he’d pulled from the cupboard.

It was almost as if Bakugo could sense the near accident as he gave Kaminari a seething look. “Watch what you touch, Pikachu. This isn’t your damn house.”

“Chill, man. I’ve got it under control,” Kirishima soothed, patting his boyfriend’s arm gently. “This just comes along with hosting a party at your own flat. Now do you want a drink or not?”

Bakugo rolled his eyes but got out another three glasses. “Whatever.”

Meanwhile, Kaminari was carefully pouring pineapple juice into a glass, tongue sticking out in concentration.

Mina hovered over his shoulder, watching intently.

“Then you add two shots of tequila,” Kaminari explained, nodding expertly like he’d been mixing drinks his whole life.

“Ohhhh.” Mina measured out two shot glasses and handed them over.

“You sure it’s two?” Bakugo asked sceptically.

“Course I am! What, you think I’ve never done this before?” Kaminari dumped the liquid into the glass and started adding carefully sliced lemon peel.

“Dude, are you putting the peel in there?!” Kirishima asked, only just noticing what was going on.

Kaminari nodded, waving the lemon in front of Kirishima’s face to emphasise the point. “Yeah! They give it that extra zest.”

“Omg. You guys are gonna feel so sick,” Bakugo drawled.

Mina shrugged, taking the glass and sipping at it. “Mm! Super good. You were right about the lemon peel, it does add flavour!”

Kaminari beamed, already mixing up another drink. “Here, Todoroki, try it!” He practically shoved the glass at Todoroki, sloshing some of the liquid over the side.

Todoroki blinked in surprise. “Uh, thanks.” He looked down at the glass, frowning as he examined the contents. It seemed a little weird, but who was he to judge Kaminari’s mixology skills when he knew nothing about the subject?

Tentatively, he took a sip of the drink. Surprisingly, it wasn’t that bad. A little bitter and the chunks of lemon peel were kind of weird, but overall it tasted pretty good. Shrugging, he tilted his head back and downed the rest in one go.

When he looked down, Kaminari and Mina were staring at him with huge eyes, expressions of shock mirrored on both of their faces.

“Dude, you’re not supposed to chug it!” Kaminari shouted, barely getting the words out between bursts of laughter.

Todoroki blinked down at the empty glass in his hand. “Oh.” He frowned.

“Still, those are insane skills you got there, Todo. I want you on my team next time we play beer pong,” Mina added, watching him with jealous eyes.

Todoroki had no idea what ‘beer pong’ was but figured it was one of those things that he would be made fun of for if he asked, so he kept quiet.

“Okay, now—who wants jello shots?!”

~*~

Thirty minutes later, Kaminari and Mina had introduced him to a whole array of new drinks, some of which he was suspiciously sure had only been invented that evening.

Surprisingly, he was actually starting to enjoy himself. The alcohol surrounded him in a pleasant buzz, steadily clawing away at his fierce barriers until he was laughing along with the other two.

“Okay, try this—pink lemonade, beer, and that weird rum Shinso likes.” Kaminari held out a glass, giggling so hard the cup shook in his hand.

“Ew!” Mina cried, sticking her tongue out in revulsion. “Kaminari, that sounds disgusting!”

“Can’t know ‘til you try it.” Kaminari raised the glass to his lips and took a long sip, spilling half the contents down his front. Giggling, he pulled away. “Oops. Here, Todo, you gotta try!”

Normal inhibitions dissolved, Todoroki accepted the cup and downed the rest of the drink.

“Dude, you should do karaoke with us!” Kaminari gasped suddenly, eyes lighting up with excitement. He grabbed the mic from the counter where he’d discarded it while they made drinks. “I bet you have a hella gorgeous voice.”

“Yeah!” Mina cut in, waving enthusiastically. “Don’t worry, you can’t be any worse than this idiot.” She snatched the mic from Kaminari, giggling at his gasp of outrage.

“Rude!” he cried, trying to grab the mic back.

“Omg you two. Cut it out,” Jirou said, suddenly appearing as if summoned by the prospect of music. She rolled her eyes dramatically. “If you keep arguing we’re never gonna get Todoroki to sing.” She held out an insistent hand. “Give it.”

Mina sighed and reluctantly handed over the mic. “Fineeeee. But only because I wanna see Todoroki sing.”

Jirou smirked and held the device out to Todoroki, ignoring Kaminari’s dramatic whine as he stumbled over his own feet trying to get over to the karaoke machine and collapsed into the pile of pillows that littered the floor.

“Oh, uh, no thanks,” Todoroki said quickly, taking a step back. No way was he going to sing in front of all his classmates.

“Aw, come on!” Mina cried, pouting. “It’s just for fun!”

Todoroki shook his head, taking another step back. “I don’t want to.” Or at least, he shouldn’twant to. But for some reason he didn’t feel all that opposed to the idea. Which was strange because he would never normally consider singing in front of people.

“Aw, don’t be such a scaredy cat, man!” Kaminari whined from the floor. He sat up, messy hair flopping over his eyes. “How come you can face villains without batting an eye but singing a little karaoke has you shaking?”

Todoroki frowned, genuinely perplexed by the blunt statement. When Kaminari put it like that, it did seem rather silly. Surely there wasn’t any harm in giving it a go… Midoriya always encouraged him to try new things.

“Okay,” he said, utterly shocking the three students gathered around him.

Mina gaped at him. “Sorry, what?!”

“I’ll do it,” Todoroki clarified, taking the mic from Jirou’s limp hand.

It only took a moment for Mina’s excitement to return in full force. Squealing in delight, she ran over to set up the karaoke machine. “What song do you want?”

Todoroki shrugged. He probably wouldn’t recognise any of the songs anyway. He’d never been very caught up on the current popular music. “What do they have?”

“Hm…” Mina tapped her chin. “Come look.”

Todoroki nodded, moving over to peer at the little booklet in Mina’s hands. After scanning the list of unfamiliar songs, his eyes finally settled on a familiar title and his heart gave a little leap of excitement. “This one,” he said, running his finger over the small print.

Mina’s eyes widened. “Dude! I didn’t know you liked the Greatest Showman?!”

Todoroki nodded solemnly, as if this should be common knowledge. “It’s an artistic masterpiece.”

Kaminari giggled from the floor. “Kay, let’s hear it then, Mr. artistic masterpiece.”

Mina broke into a violent fit of laughter as she pressed the ‘start’ button on the screen. “Alright, take it away!”

Todoroki raised the mic to his lips and breathed out a slow sigh, watching the TV screen as the opening notes of “This Is Me” filled the room. He almost felt like he was floating, riding a giddy wave of euphoria that really shouldn’t come from standing in front of a crowd. But this was happening and he felt greatso he sucked in a deep breath and began to sing.

“I am not a stranger to the dark. Hide away, they say, ‘cause we don’t want your broken parts. I’ve learned to be ashamed of all my scars. Run away, they say, no one’ll love you as you are. But, I won’t let them break me down to durst. I know that there’s a place for us. For we are glorious.”

Cheers erupted from his fellow classmates, sending his heart stuttering with a strange exhilaration. Feeling a little like he was whirling through an extremely realistic dream, Todoroki started the chorus with a heightened sense of conviction.

“When the sharpest words wanna cut me down. I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out. I am brave, I am bruised, I am who I’m meant to be, this is me.”

By the time the song ended, Todoroki was positively glowing, his mind swept up in a giddy whirl of excitement.

The others seemed just as excited, whooping and hollering as Todoroki set the mic down.

“Omg! That was amazing!” Mina squealed, grabbing his hands and spinning him around so fast he almost tripped over his own feet.

“Thanks,” Todoroki gasped. Even though Mina had let him go, the room continued to spin around him, creating the unpleasant sensation that he was on one of those spinny theme park rides. He swallowed, reaching out for the wall to try and steady himself. God, he was dizzy.

“You should sing more often! You have such a pretty voice!” Mina continued, still bouncing around in excitement.

“Yeah!” Kaminari enthused, stepping up beside them and throwing an arm over Mina’s shoulder.

Todoroki barely heard them. Suddenly he wasn’t having fun anymore. The swaying room sent his stomach pitching and he wanted nothing more than to lie down on the floor and close his eyes until the spinning went away.

The others seemed to notice his distress, voicing their concerns as they pressed in on him.

“Whoa, you okay bro?” Kaminari asked, eyeing him warily.

Todoroki nodded, mumbling a feeble reply. “Yeah.” His body burned with an uncomfortable heat, entirely different from his own fire. “Jus’ gonna si’down for a mi’te.” He stumbled toward the couch, reaching out blindly as he tripped over his own feet.

Suddenly Kirishima was there, catching his swaying body before he could fall and guiding him over to the couch.

Todoroki groaned, closing his eyes when the change in position aggravated his already queasy stomach. He sucked in a few deep breaths, pressing his cheek against the couch in an attempt to ground himself.

“You good?” Kirishima asked, crouching down next to the couch and laying a hand on Todoroki’s shoulder.

Todoroki nodded feebly, wincing when the small movement intensified his dizziness. Even with his eyes closed the room seemed to spin in lazy circles around him. He swallowed. “Yeah. Jus’ got kinda diz’y.”

Kirishima hummed in understanding. “Yeah, that’s the downside to alcohol. I think maybe you should slow down for a bit, man.”

Just the thought of drinking anything more sent his already uncomfortable stomach churning. He swallowed again, shifting a little on the couch to try and get more comfortable.

“He okay?” A voice suddenly spoke above them

Mina and Kaminari gathered around the couch, watching Todoroki in concern.

Kirishima nodded, hand still on Todoroki’s shoulder. “I think he just had a little too much to drink,” he explained.

Mina and Kaminari exchanged guilty looks.

“Oh…” Mina breathed.

Kirishima frowned, brow furrowed in suspicion. “What did you guys do?”

“Nothing!” Kaminari defended, waving his arms wildly. “We were just making drinks. Todoroki was all for it!”

“Yeah! We didn’t force him or anything,” Mina added.

Kirishima sighed. “Fine, fine. I believe you.” He glanced down at Todoroki’s pale face. “I guess he’s just not really used to drinking.”

Kaminari couldn’t suppress a grin. “Omg, who would have ever guessed perfect IcyHot was such a lightweight!”

Todoroki pressed his face further into the cushions, trying to block out the sounds of the others talking. He really didn’t feel well. And Midoriya was still out with Yaoyorozu looking for stupid frozen pizza. Why oh why had he come to this stupid party?!

Another wave of nausea slammed over him, this one noticeably stronger. The taste of liquor brushed the back of his throat, bitter and rancid against his tongue. Gross—why was he tasting it again now?

You’re going to throw up, his mind supplied, almost as if it was annoyed with his inability to put the clues together.

Shakily, he pushed himself upright, swaying when dizziness slammed against him. He forced his eyes open, searching desperately for any indication of where Kirishima’s bathroom might be. Why hadn’t he asked about that earlier?

“Hey man, you okay?” Kirishima asked, startled by Todoroki’s sudden movement.

Todoroki swallowed, eyes falling to the ground. He knew he should get up and try to run to the bathroom, but his head was still spinning and he couldn’t get his limbs to respond.

“You aren’t looking so good… are you feeling sick?” Kirishima asked tentatively.

Todoroki nodded, pressing a fisted hand to his mouth to stifle a sudden burp. “I don’ wanna drink anym’re,” he mumbled, trying to swallow back the bitter saliva that suddenly flooded his mouth.

“I think he’s gonna hurl,” Kaminari put in, earning him an eye roll from Mina.

“Yeah, no kidding, dude. He’s greener than Midoriya’s hair.”

Todoroki groaned, closing his eyes again as his stomach gave an uncomfortable lurch. “‘M gonna throw up,” he mumbled, voice muffled by the hand covering his mouth.

“Shit, yeah, okay,” Kirishima swore, jumping to his feet. “Think you can make it to the bathroom?” He didn’t wait for a response, already grabbing Todoroki’s arm and dragging him to his feet.

Todoroki tried to steady himself, but as soon as he was on his feet, all traces of control evaporated and his stomach gave a violent heave and vomit rushed up his throat. He tried to bend over, but he was too dizzy to navigate properly and most of the vomit spilled down his front. He whimpered, coughing miserably.

“Shit!” Kirishima gasped, grabbing Todoroki’s arm as he swayed dangerously.

“Sor—” Todoroki tried to say, but was cut off by another rush of vomit. He wiped a hand across his mouth, groaning.

“Okay, okay. Come on. Let’s get you to the bathroom.” Kirishima hauled him across the room and down the first hallway, only just managing to get Todoroki situated over the toilet before he heaved again.

“I wanna go home,” he mumbled, gripping the edge of the toilet as he swayed. “C’n you get Izuku?”

Kirishima reached out, sweeping Todoroki’s fringe out of his eyes. “Midoriya isn’t here right now. He’s out with Yaoyorozu. But he’ll probably be back soon.”

Todoroki gave a miserable little sob, collapsing over the toilet with his arms laid across the lid to keep himself upright. Tears welled in mismatched eyes, blurring his already hazy vision. Kirishima was being really nice about the whole thing, but he wasn’t Midoriya. No one could replace Midoriya.

**To be continued**

[rosalies-rage]

folklore x Twilight: An Analysis

folklore's lyrics match Twilight uncannily well and here’s proof! 

my tears ricochet - Rosalie

We gather here, we line up, weepin' in a sunlit room And if I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes, too Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe All the hell you gave me? 'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you 'Til my dying day I didn't have it in myself to go with grace And you're the hero flying around, saving face And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? Cursing my name, wishing I stayed Look at how my tears ricochet We gather stones, never knowing what they'll mean Some to throw, some to make a diamond ring You know I didn't want to have to haunt you But what a ghostly scene You wear the same jewels that I gave you As you bury me

And I can go anywhere I want Anywhere I want, just not home And you can aim for my heart, go for blood But you would still miss me in your bones And I still talk to you (When I'm screaming at the sky) And when you can't sleep at night (You hear my stolen lullabies)

Rosalie would sing this to her murderer/fiancé at her funeral as he goes around being the ‘hero’ and ‘saving face’. She’s ‘screaming at the sky’ because he has stolen the one thing she really wanted from her ‘anywhere I want, just not home’. Even though she loved him ‘til [her] dying day’, she can never forgive and has no choice but to haunt him.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

exile - Edward in New Moon

I think I’ve seen this film before And I didn’t like the ending You’re not my homeland anymore So what am I defending now? You were my town, now I’m in exile seein’ you out We always walked a very thin line You didn’t even hear me out (You didn’t even hear me out) You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs) All this time I never learned to read your mind (Never learned to read my mind)

Edward leaves in New Moon because he believes he and his world are too dangerous for Bella, exiling himself indefinitely. They had ‘always walked a very thin line’ as he tried to be with her without harming her, and he literally ‘never learned to read [her] mind’. Now he’s left and can’t do what he wanted to do, i.e protect her (’what am I defending now?’).

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

august - Jacob

Salt air, and the rust on your door I never needed anything more Whispers of “Are you sure?” “Never have I ever before”

Back when we were still changin' for the better Wanting was enough For me, it was enough To live for the hope of it all Canceled plans just in case you'd call And say, "Meet me behind the mall" So much for summer love and saying "us" 'Cause you weren't mine to lose You weren't mine to lose, no

Your back beneath the sun Wishin' I could write my name on it Will you call when you're back at school? I remember thinkin' I had you

Bella and Jacob start spending time together in the ‘salt air’ by La Push beach fixing beaten-up motorbikes (’rust’). Jacob knows Bella isn’t interested in him but lives in hope (’to live for the hope of it all’) and by the time the Cullens come back he’s convinced he could win Bella’s loyalties (’I remember thinkin’ I had you’). It doesn’t take place in summer, but it is a brief, intense fling that lifts Bella from her Edward-induced winter, and Bella calls Jacob her personal ‘sun’. In the end, though, Bella tells Jacob that there was never really a choice between him and Edward; it was always going to be Edward (’You weren’t mine to lose’). 

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

invisible string - Alice & Jasper

And isn't it just so pretty to think All along there was some Invisible string Tying you to me?

Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire Chains around my demons Wool to brave the seasons One single thread of gold Tied me to you

Alice woke up as a vampire with no memory of her past - all she had was her psychic abilities, which were an ‘invisible string’ leading her directly to Jasper. On Jasper’s side, he was living a brutal life training newborn armies until Alice found him and ‘wrapped all of [his] past mistakes in barbed wire’, putting ‘chains around his demons’ and leading him to a better life. You could also interpret it as his journey to chaining his inner monster that wants to kill humans when he goes to live with the Cullens.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

epiphany - Carlisle

Something med school did not cover Someone's daughter, someone's mother Holds your hand through plastic now "Doc, I think she's crashing out" And some things you just can't speak about

Only twenty minutes to sleep But you dream of some epiphany Just one single glimpse of relief To make some sense of what you've seen

This song describes the experience of medical staff during the COVID-19 pandemic, and Carlisle was a doctor during the last major pandemic (Spanish Flu in 1918), which is where he turned Edward. A religious man, he searches for an ‘epiphany’ from God while he grapples with the decision to consign another person to a life of vampirism and tries to understand whether or not he still has a soul.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

mad woman - Rosalie

Do you see my face in the neighbor's lawn? Does she smile? Or does she mouth, "Fuck you forever"? And there's nothing like a mad woman What a shame she went mad No one likes a mad woman You made her like that And you'll poke that bear 'til her claws come out And you find something to wrap your noose around

They say “move on” but you know I won’t

I'm taking my time, taking my time 'Cause you took everything from me

Rosalie is filled with anger and bitterness over her murder. She’s cast in a bad light particularly because she’s an angry, ‘mad woman’ but she explains that her murderers ‘made her like that’ when they ‘took everything from [her]’, and in return she ‘[took her] time’ when killing them to make sure they knew she was coming.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

cardigan - Bella on Jacob

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan, under someone’s bed  You put me on and said I was your favorite  You drew stars around my scars But now I’m bleedin’

Bella was destroyed after Edward left, feeling that he’d taken most of her with him and was just discarded like an unwanted toy (’I felt like I was an old cardigan, under someone’s bed’). Then she started hanging out with Jacob and his friendship (’I was your favorite’) started to heal - or at least disguise - the hole in her chest (’You drew stars around my scars’). But then he left, too, when the werewolf transformation happened, which left her ‘bleeding’. It turned out she wasn’t really healed, she’d just been papering over the gap with Jacob’s love.

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illicit affairs - Edward & Bella as tragic fated lovers

Tell yourself you can always stop What started in beautiful rooms  Ends in meetings in parking lots It’s born from just one single glance but it dies and it dies and it dies A million little times 

Leave no trace behind, like they don’t even exist

When Edward first becomes enamored with Bella and wants to get closer to her, he convinces himself he can always stop - but he can’t. The more time he spends with her, the more doomed he is. When Bella gets hurt because of him, first in Twilight and then in New Moon, he disappears in hopes of keeping her safe and hides all the presents he gave her (’leave no trace behind’). 

And you wanna scream Don't call me "kid," don't call me "baby" Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else Don't call me "kid," don't call me "baby" Look at this idiotic fool that you made me You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else

A dwindling mercurial high A drug that only worked the first few hundred times

And you know damn well For you, I would ruin myself A million little times

This part is Bella’s response. When he left, he took away this entire paranormal world he’d introduced her to (‘You taught me a secret language I can’t speak with anyone else’), leaving her to think she’s gone insane because not only has she lost the love of her life, all traces of an entire extra world have disappeared. She wants him to stop patronising her by saying she’ll move on like mortals do (’Don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby, look at this godforsaken mess that you made me’). Desperate to get some sense that he’s still there, she starts doing risky stunts like motorbike racing and jumping off a cliff (’A dwindling mercurial high’). Like she told him in the meadow scene in the first book, she is willing to die for him, and we see in New Moon that he feels the same way (‘you know damn well / For you I would ruin myself, a million little times’). The only way for them to stay apart would’ve been to never meet in the first place.

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seven - Rosalie on her childhood friend Vera

Please picture me in the trees I hit my peak at seven Feet in the swing over the creek I was too scared to jump in But I, I was high in the sky With Pennsylvania under me Are there still beautiful things? Sweet tea in the summer Cross your heart, won't tell no other And though I can't recall your face I still got love for you Your braids like a pattern Love you to the Moon and to Saturn Passed down like folk songs The love lasts so long

Before I learned civility I used to scream ferociously Any time I wanted

Rosalie fondly recalls her human life and her best friend Vera, who had the normal life she never got. This ‘love lasts so long’ even though Vera is dead by now because Rosalie still remembers her, even if her human memories are fuzzy and she can’t necessarily ‘recall [her] face’. Also, Rosalie was always valued only for her beauty, but maybe she ‘hit [her] peak at seven’ because her beauty hadn’t yet started overshadowing her personhood and she was still able to ‘scream ferociously’ at that age instead of being the girl and young woman who had to learn ‘civility’ and be married off to a rich man.

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hoax - Bella in New Moon

My only one My smoking gun My eclipsed sun This has broken me down My twisted knife My sleepless night My winless fight This has frozen my ground Stood on the cliffside screaming, "Give me a reason" Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in Don't want no other shade of blue but you No other sadness in the world would do  My best laid plan Your sleight of hand My barren land I am ash from your fire  You know I left a part of me back in New York You knew the hero died so what's the movie for? You knew it still hurts underneath my scars From when they pulled me apart

Bella’s ‘eclipsed sun’ has disappeared and left her ‘broken’, ‘sleepless’ and believing she has no way to win him back. She literally goes and stands on a ‘cliffside’ before jumping off just to see a hallucination of his face - Edward, a mythical creature, is the ‘only hoax she believes in’. Even though he’s hurt her and broken her heart, she ‘don’t want no other shade of blue but you’. He thinks he’s saving her from harm by leaving, but the scar from James still bothers her, i.e. his leaving cannot protect her as the damage has been done (’You know it still hurts underneath my scars’) and now Edward has just added emotional scars that ‘pulled [her] apart’ and left a gaping hole in her chest.

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peace - Edward & Bella in Breaking Dawn

I never had the courage of my convictions As long as danger is near And it’s just around the corner darlin Coz it lives in me No, I could never give you peace

Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?

Throughout the series, Edward has been afraid to get too close to Bella for fear of hurting her (’danger is near’, ‘it lives in me’). Now he finally has to accept that she’s not going anywhere and value her choice. Even after he’s no longer a threat to her directly, their life is full of challenges like the Volturi. It’s impossible to guarantee her safety, and she doesn’t want him to - she wants to be in his world as an equal. He comes to terms with the fact that it’s okay if he can ‘never give [her] peace’.

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[kindrednerdspirit]

Sometimes A Thing Feels so Right: Part 3

Excerpt: In her fantasy, her lips brush against Newton’s earlobe before she whispers in front of the entire track team, “Now, let me help you dry off.” The thought alone makes Iz wet. She imagines herself gently pressing her thumb underneath Newton’s lips and pulling down just enough for them to part.

Sunday. Izzie returns home after going for a run.

Izzie jogs up the stairs to her front door and stops at the sound of a man’s voice.

“Where does she go?” He asks.

Is that Steve? She hesitates.

Izzie’s mum replies, “Mum and dad say that she spends a lot of time with another girl on the track team.”

“So she spends a lot of time with her friend. Sounds like normal teenager stuff to me.”

“No, no… like too much time together and she’s only briefly dated one guy.”

“So what? You think she’s a dyke?”

Izzie sucks in a quick breath at the word “dyke,” but continues hovering at the door.

“Maybe? She doesn’t look or dress like one, though.”

Nope, she doesn’t want to hear anymore of this conversation. Iz shoves open the door and glares into the living room, where Steve and mer mum are sitting on the couch. “Enlighten me. How exactly does a dyke look and dress?”

“Oh my God!” Her mum cries, clearly startled. “You scared me! Don’t sneak around listening to private conversations!”

“If I could actually count on you to be here, then I wouldn’t assume you were out and I wouldn’t accidentally hear your so-called private conversations!”

“Get out!” Her mum bellows.

“You don’t have to tell me twice!”

Izzie storms into her room. Her mind is racing, bouncing from her mum’s addiction, to coming to terms with her queer identity, to feeling lonely, to Newton. The only thing that’s clear is her need for space--space between her and this house. She starts grabbing clothes out of her dresser and cramming them in an overnight bag. Maybe she can go to her grandparents’ place. Despite knowing she needs distance, the familiar twinge of guilt for leaving Jason, Alysha, and Arya creeps up. 

Jase will be fine, right? He has a phone to call her in case of emergencies. It’s just one night. You’re not mum. Iz repeats the last two sentences in her head as she continues packing.

Tears stream down her face as she puts her homework and textbooks into her backpack. Iz is many emotions right now, but she’s mostly frustrated with herself. After all, why does she care what her mum thinks about gay people? Logically, she shouldn’t, but she’s livid as she thinks about her mum’s ignorant words. What did a lesbian look like, exactly? Butch, apparently. As if all queer girls looked the same.

She wants to kiss Alysha and Arya goodbye but she looks like a mess with her red, puffy eyes. No need to make them worry about her. She won’t be gone long, anyway. With a deep breath, Iz prepares herself to walk past her mum on her way out the front door. As she passes the doorframe to the living room, however, she cannot help but yell at the two sorry excuses for adults. Her mum is now standing, arguing with Steve, whose butt is still parked on the couch.

“You know what’s the most annoying part of you being back? You don’t make things easier! I worry and stress just as much as when you’re gone.” Izzie slams the door behind her and rushes down the concrete stairs to the front lawn. It’s awkward running with a backpack, but she needs the physical distance immediately, so she jogs until the end of the block. As she slows to a walk, she pulls out her phone and texts Jason.

Going to grandma and grandpa’s for the night. Say goodnight to the girls for me xx.

All Iz wants is to vent to Casey about her mum’s tone and judgment toward even the idea that she could be queer. Not to mention her presence in general. New topic. Think happy thoughts. The memory of bonding with Newton in Coach’s office comes to mind. She remembers feeling so happy that Newton wasn’t a spoiled rich kid like everyone else. That she also felt a need to be perfect all the time. It was the first time since her mum started using that Izzie didn’t feel alone. These days, however, thinking of Newton quickly gets depressing, so Iz takes out her headphones and listens to “The Look” by Metronomy. In an attempt to further distract herself, she concentrates on the lyrics.

Get up and we get down

We’re always running around this town

And to think they said

We’d never make anything better than this

Cause we’re always in small circles

And everyone thinks we’re trouble

We didn’t read it in the big book

And now we’re giving you the look look...

This town’s the oldest friend of mine

Sometimes when she listens to a song, she likes to imagine a story that goes along with it. Izzie pictures a woman driving around town with her girlfriend. The “small circles” are small town people gossiping about them, like townsfolk do, speculating about their relationship as the two live their lives. And like any stereotypical small community, the townies are narrow minded in their beliefs, believing that queer relationships are “trouble,” because the “big book” says so. Iz rolls her eyes at the thought, counting herself lucky to not be the woman in the song, until she hears “this town’s the oldest friend of mine.” The woman wants the town’s approval! She, by all means, is aware that they’re backwards, yet she still wants their acceptance.

Iz groans. Her attempt at distracting herself from Newton is failing miserably. Now, all she can think of is her own life in relation to the character in the song. How is she any different? She’s essentially surrounded herself with friends that don’t know who she really is, like Harmony and Scarlet. What’s the point in hiding her true self? Who cares what her friends think? Who cares what her mum thinks? Who cares what strangers think? Because at the end of the day, the only people that matter in her life are her siblings, grandparents, and Newton. And she pushed Newton away. She tried convincing herself that less connections at Clayton Prep meant flying under the radar, and flying under the radar meant more focus on track. It was her big chance to get into UCLA! Ironically, though, she felt even less focussed, because she was unhappy.

Evan was right. Newton chose her. The worst that could happen was happening right now--Newton wasn’t in her life. Period. End of story. It didn’t get worse than this, so Iz might as well try to make amends and go public. She had nothing to lose. That is, if Newton would take her back.

Monday, first block. Izzie’s perspective

The next morning, Izzie leaves her grandparents’ place with extra food in her lunch (an apple and sandwich that her grandma insisted she take) and a fire in her eyes, because today is the day she gets Newton back.

Izzie has decided to talk to Casey during track practice, since they share their first block. No sign of her, yet, as she puts on her sneakers, Adidas shorts, and a clean t-shirt in the locker room. She hustles toward the field, quickly spotting Casey stretching with the other girls on the team. Iz stretches on her own, her lips pressed together. Things are not going according to plan, because she was hoping for a private talk.

Sixty minutes go by of Izzie watching Newton. Her heart pounds from the anticipation of their conversation. Oh, and the small fact that she’s insanely hot. Casey slows down to a trot after sprinting the 200 metre. She’s overheating, so she splashes water on her face to cool down. Iz enjoys watching the droplets trickle down her face and over her lips. Calm yourself. Stop thinking about how you want to help her dry off. The braver version of herself would march over and loudly declare, “I love you.” Newton would then give a reciprocal answer, pathing the way for Brave Izzie to lean in. In her fantasy, her lips brush against Newton’s earlobe before she whispers in front of the entire track team, “Now, let me help you dry off.” 

The thought alone makes Iz wet. She imagines herself gently pressing her thumb underneath Newton’s lips and pulling down just enough for them to part. Newton’s breathing quickens. Izzie wants to tease, so she hovers centimetres from her mouth, making her wait. It’s hot watching Newton untangle, simply because she wants her. Newton swallows, quing Iz to finally nibble her lip. It’s a drawn-out nibble, as she gently pulls her lip back with her teeth and releases it. To Izzie’s delight, Newton quietly moans. Meanwhile, anyone on the track team who was previously unaware of their own sexuality has a much better idea of what team(s) they play for.

Iz is a hot mess by the time Coach blows the whistle, signalling the end of class. The girls begin walking back to the locker room in a large swarm.

Fuck it. Izzie thinks. I cannot wait any longer.

“Yo, Newton! Wait up!” She calls while jogging behind her.

Casey ignores her, continuing her conversation with another team mate. “Newton. Stop, please.” Iz is now beside her, making it very difficult to avoid a conversation. It all happens so fast. Before Iz realizes what is happening, Casey turns on her heel and looks at her with cold eyes. “I don’t know how to make this more clear. I don’t want to talk to you.” Her voice trembles and Iz swears she sees her shaking.

“I--” Iz is taken off guard. This is not going according to plan.

“Please, don’t follow me.” The way Casey pleads in a quiet but firm tone hits Izzie hard. She hesitates, wanting to respect the boundary, but desperately needing to share her feelings. Her hesitation ends up being too long, because the moment escapes her, along with Newton. She watches her moment walk the rest of the field and open the locker room door, then disappear.

Izzie stands, rejected, near the end of the bleachers. A familiar voice startles her out of her thoughts.

“Ouch. That was rough.”

Mel?

Izzie peers up at her new, potential friend who’s currently sitting on the bleachers with a notebook and a pen. She’s dressed in a long-sleeved black shirt that’s tucked into dark red corduroy pants with Doc Martens. Her long, wavy brown hair is tousled around her black glasses that frame her face.

Izzie feels annoyed from the rejection, the failed plan, Mel’s nosiness--all of it. “What are you doing here?” She asks, rather pointedly with an arched eyebrow.

“Working on my English essay.”

Iz grunts and folds her arms. “How much did you see, exactly?”

“Everything.” Mel sticks her hand into the bag of Doritos next to her and munches on the chips. “What’s your end goal?”

“With what?”

“Casey. You like her, right?”

Izzie’s heart quickens. “Yeah… how do you know?”

Mel shrugs. “Gaydar.”

Iz studies Mel before speaking. “How do you get good gaydar?”

“After you like girls for long enough, you just know when a girl likes another girl.”

Izzie feels herself relax as her defensiveness fades away. “Maybe you can give me some pointers some time.”

“What am I? Your lesbian guru?” A smirk spreads across Mel’s face.

Izzie laughs loudly. It feels good! She cannot remember the last time she laughed so hard. “Sure, why not?”

“I hate to break it to you, but I haven’t dated a girl before, so I’m going to be a really shitty gay guru.”

Mel’s honesty somewhat surprises Izzie, but because this quality is currently lacking in her life, it’s refreshing. “I’d rather have a shitty gay guru than none at all.”

The girls laugh. Iz doesn’t want to leave, but UCLA keeps her from playing hookie. “I should go to class, but I’ll see you at student council later.” She hasn’t given up on Newton--not even close. Izzie respects Newton enough to leave her alone if that’s what she truly wants, but not before letting her know she's done hiding herself from the world.

“See you.” Mel goes back to her writing with a grin on her face. And how could she not be smiling? After all, Clayton Prep just got a little more gay.

[smbinfostation]

Super Mario Bros. Ice Capades - 1989

To commemorate the SMBIS’s 20th anniversary, here’s the infamous Mario Ice Capades video in high quality. Enjoy!

Original commentary from October 17, 2003

On Thursday, December 7, 1989, ABC presented an Ice Capades special on TV, hosted by Alyssa Milano (of Who's The Boss fame) and Jason Bateman (Silver Spoons; Valerie, Arrested Development). The show had many famous and talented figure skaters, music numbers and comedy acts, including segments featuring Barbie and the Super Mario Bros. This happens to be the 50th Anniversary of the Ice Capades that they taped, as the programs that the hosts and the audience had, with the Mario Bros and Barbie on the back. (The 50th Anniversary Ice Capades Barbie was released at this time also.) When the segment begins, the hosts are backstage when they spot some random people playing Super Mario Bros. Alyssa mentions that she's never played videogames before (*gasp*) and Jason brags to her that he is a master of Nintendo, proclaiming himself to be the "Video Prince." Then he tells her about the plot of Super Mario Bros. [It's interesting to mention that Jason refers to King Koopa as Bowser, because the entire show after this just calls him King Koopa.]

As they talk, they are interrupted when the monitor starts flickering and doing crazy stuff. Jason, who apparently know everything about Nintendo, states that it's a computer virus, which will, and I quote, "release all the evil forces stored up in the computer." @_@ Um...OK, "Mr. Video Prince", whatever you say. Then, who pops up? Yes, it's good ol' King Koopa (NOT Bowser!), played by the late 80's sitcom star Christopher Hewett, a.k.a. Mr. Belvedere. Koopa has released the virus and threatens to take over the world. His plan is very laughable at best, as it implies that a NES can be used to infect computers with deadly viruses, which probably can't happen. That, and he says he doesn't really want the world, but does it anyway because he loves causing trouble. It's nice to have hobbies, I guess.

The Mario set is decent enough. It looks like a 3-D version of the 8-bit SMB1, with pixelated clouds and trees in the background and a castle in the middle. However, it looks way better than what Mr. Hewett had to wear. His costume is very tacky and ugly. He doesn't even have anything over his face, just horribly applied green face paint around his moustache. His horns looked like dangly jesters' bells and he's wearing horrible plaid pants and a geeky red bow tie. On top of that, he's riding on a moving castle. You know the forts at the end of each level of SMB1? Yep, he's roving about on the ice on a castle. o.O

Koopa calls out his minions to destroy different computer parts that NES's don't have, including 2 Green Koopa Troopas, 2 miscolored white Goombas, 1 Hammer Bro (two Troopas and only ONE Hammer Brother?), a Red Paratroopa and a Spiny. The baddies' costumes were based on their official Nintendo designs, though they looked very non-threatening and somewhat cuddly-looking. The Goombas and the Spiny, about a meter or so tall, do seem to be radio-controlled, or have skaters crouched or something inside them. After this, Koopa pompously sings about how evil he is, with his baddies dancing around him...wearing plaid pants...on a moving castle...oooookaaay. Mr. Hewett had a very cultured, polite-sounding British accent, not like Cartoon Koopa's voice at all. He sang pretty well, but the lyrics were shallow and kinda childish. The song is short, thankfully, and only proves that Koopa can create plans for world domination much better than he can sing silly egotistical songs. After this, we see the Princess Toadstool (can't call her Peach yet, as this is still 1989, or all time and space will unravel around us and disappear), who has a huge, horrid mascot-like head and a cliché Mae West-ish Hollywood voice, off to the side with her subjects of plumber pawns with her. Another note is that the Princess's costume is based on the official Nintendo design; she has blond hair, instead of red/brown from the cartoons.  Princess Pea....Toadstool, helpless to stop Koopa, then summons the Mario Bros., who for some reason arrived from the sky with the help of their trusty support wires. @_@ [Here's something I just noticed: In the scene when the Princess talks to her people before she calls the Bros. from the heavens, you can see the Marios behind her, with their backs turned to the audience. Sloppy editing.] After being briefed on the situation by Princess, Mario and Luigi, with their very stereotypical Italian accents and oversized, misshapened mascot heads, protect the Maiden in Distress from the horrible men in Koopa Troopa suits. The Princess helps out by sending out carts containing kids from the audience to assist the Bros. Koopa then scoffs at the Marios for sending children to do a man's job. So, one by one, Koopa sends out his legions of dumpy villains to defeat the Bros. However, Luigi dons his airgun/cardboard box out of nowhere and mercilessly kills each bad guy with sparkler blasts that are later added in. The effect of the baddies dying is just crude and leaves one to think how it'll work without the superimposed TV special effects of them just fading away and disappearing to low-budget heaven. Koopa, realizing that his army of extras is failing him, decides to attack the Bros. himself on his mobile fortress with his Spiny. The Marios and the children in the carts surround Koopa, totally ignoring Spiny altogether from the onslaught of death and sparkly insanity. After Mario spouts a remarkably bland joke/pun, the children vanquish the Koopa King with their big foam wrenches and dirty plungers in a blast of sparklers. Cheesey fanfare music plays afterwards, proclaiming the death of the Koopa King, as the children are returned back to the audience, without getting any complementary gift for being a part in the show.

In the end, the Princess, who now just looks like a giant, mutated blow-up doll, congratulates the Marios by giving them the "Purple Plunger for Bravery" or "The Incredibly Cheap Cardboard Hero Prize.". Then, the Bros. have a disgraceful squabble about bragging rights. Note that in all this, Mario does absolutely NOTHING to help out. Luigi killed all the minor foes and commanded the children to kill Koopa. Lazy, lazy Mario... Backstage, the monitor that the hosts were watching all this goes back to normal, then for no reason, Alyssa announces that she wins the game by default, although she doesn't even play it at all, leaving "Jason the Video Prince" in a stupor.

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More research led me to a site belonging to a Mr. Michael Baroto, a costume designer who made these all the characters for the show, including the baddies, the Bros. and Peach. Apparently, he had only 3 months to make three sets of ten costumes, as well as two other costumes for another show. Seeing that he had to make 30 costumes in the short a time span, this would explain why the Marios and Peach looked so rushed. They don't do his talents justice, however, as his other works, including puppets, dolls and marionettes, are very creative and well-made. There are production photos of the Mario costumes in the previous link. If you ever get to read this, Mr. Baroto, please don't take my negative comments personally. ^^;;;;;;

Here's something I just noticed after watching this over again. Apparently, they deviated from what they'd usually do at a live show and made it extra special for the TV show by adding those "special" effects and camera angles. Also, they taped this when the audience wasn't present, as the seating couldn't been seen at all. They do show some stock footage of people watching all this and laughing at the bad puns, and of the kids getting out of the carts when the show was over, never getting compensated with gifts and whatnot for killing off the "mighty" King Koopa.

However, doing this just made the show worse, as there were obvious editing mistakes. For example, you can see enemies that were killed off later hanging about off to the side when the children return to the audience. In another instance, right at the end, you can see a lone boy sitting on the ice in the background playing with a wrench behind Princess Toadstool before she hands out the awards. Then he disappears in the next shot. And let's not forget the earlier example of the Marios already on stage before they arrive from the sky.  Very very sloppy, even for late 80's television. Of course, this was a time when little kids wouldn't care less if the show was crappy or not. It had Mario, and that's all that mattered.

[doves-wing]

Warriors Song Post

what up here’s a bunch of songs that i connect to warriors in some fuckin way. this took way too long and i’ll add more later because i couldn’t everyone in the tags lol

People in my Head by Oceans on Mars: Goosefeather - If the title wasn’t obvious enough as to why it fits him, the song is about hearing voices and going mad because of it. If that doesn’t fit Goosefeather, what does?

Twisted by MISSIO: Darktail - The whole song is about a bad guy with fucked up thoughts and how his dad was a shit but had a good mom. 

Bottom of the Deep Blue Sea by MISSIO: Bluestar - The song is about addiction and depression. And well, Bluestar has depression so there we go already but it uses the specific metaphor of drowining which is strongly connected to Bluestar’s character, so it fits even better! 

Everybody Gets High by MISSIO: Sol - It’s his tragic backstory. I mean if this was a human AU this would just be his backstory. Sol is an evil gay, makes sense if he had a homophobic upbringing which led him to drugs and eventually running away. Makes sense to me at least.

Kamikazee by MISSIO: Sol - This is a song about greed, desire, and dark hearts. Who has all three? That’s right, it’s Sol baby! The boy desires all the nice things in life and will not stop at anything to get them.

Best Friends by Grandson: The Kin - So I’m kinda cheating with this one as it isn’t a singular characer but my post, my rules. I feel as if this fits best when Needletail and the other apprentices joined The Kin. Thinking they’re so cool and shit.

Kiss Bang by Grandson: Leafpool/Crowfeather/Nightcloud - Okay again not a singular character but my post, my rules. Basically this song represents Crowfeather’s relationship with the two of them. In short: a fucking mess

Things Change by Grandson: Crowfeather - I’d say this is specifically about Leafpool soon after the badger attack, but could still work for him and Feathertail. Either way, this guy is dumb angst monster lmao

Saint Bernard by Lincoln: Mapleshade - This is a song about one-sided love and how the singer won’t be going to heaven. Also it’s fucking scary so Mapleshade :)

Hellbent by Mystery Skulls: Ashfur - It’s him about Squirrelflight. He does not care that she is in a relationship. All he cares is that the relationship she’s in, isn’t with him. All he wants is her and he truly won’t stop at anything to have her.

The Wolf by SIAMES: Tigerclaw - This is another song that’s about addiction but it has a strong theme about being out of your mind, and well, if you kill people I don’t think your sane. And in a way, Tigerclaw could’ve been addicted to killing. Either way many of this song’s lyrics (and especially the chorus) remind me of him so he gets this masterpiece of a song to himself.

Same Old Forest by Nathan Sharp: Firestar - This fits Firepaw/Rusty specifically but hey I prefer using the most recent names of a character in the title. Anyway though, this song is all about beginnings and wanting to be something (while also being a protaganist) and who could fit better than Firepaw? I mean one of the lyrics is literally: “Because compared to every child you know, you’re something else”. Tell me it isn’t about Firepaw.

Far Away by Nathan Sharp: Spottedleaf - This is a song sung by a female about the character from the previous song on this list, who knows that the character is destined for greatness. Tell me it isn’t sung by Spottedleaf. 

Time to Go by Nathan Sharp: Yellowfang - Yellowfang is the grumpy grandma we all know and love. If you know her and then listen to this song and say she didn’t sing it you’re so wrong it’s unbelievable. Did her savior just wake up? Yes. Is she going to push him out and force him to save the world now? Yes.

Drowning by Nathan Sharp: Bluestar - Look at the title. Okay but the song is about losing everything in your life and well, the water metaphors :}

Shell by Nathan Sharp: Bluestar (w/ Firestar) - I think this fits really well for Bluestar and Firestar’s relationship. Bluestar after having been almost murdered by her trusted deputy, Tigerclaw, has lost faith in everything. Fireheart is desperately trying to keep her what remains of her, alive. The chorus speaks for itself, she is a shell, almost entirely withered away. Just, it’s mostly Bluestar but the way the lyrics go it sounds as if someone is speaking to another character about Bluestar, which in this case is probably Tigerclaw and Firestar.

The Evil King by Nathan Sharp: Tigerclaw & Firestar - This is their final battle in song form. At the end it becomes a duet, but for the majority it’s Tigerclaw monologuing about why he should and deserves to win. How Firestar should’ve never come to the forest, as he was meant to rule the forest as his father did before him, unfortuneately this is a YA novel which means that evil can never win. 

Unaligned by Nathan Sharp: Ivypool - I imagine this is when she’s starting to realize that the Dark Forest isn’t good. That it’s full of evil cats, but because she’s only started to realize this their abusive teachings are still in her head, thus “You took me in, showed me love when I had nowhere to run” is a lyric. She’s done bad things by joining them, she doesn’t know if she can be good but she knows she doesn’t want to be bad.

Dead Silence by Nathan Sharp: Mothwing - Mothwing can’t get it out of her head that she is the daughter of Tigerclaw. The worst cat in the history of the Clans yet she chose to be a medicine cat, a peaceful cat who does no harm. Her intrusive thoughts won’t stop reminding her of how brutal her family as been. Her father first and then her brother, Hawkfrost, second. Maybe she is destined to be a violent monster, she knows it isn’t true but those evil thoughts say otherwise, and she can’t ignore them any longer.

Epcoh (TLT Remix) by Salvonic: Hollyleaf - After she ran away from the gathering, she had a lot of time to think about everything. She had time to regret her actions and came back to apologize, and hope that she would be accepeted. Just about everything in this song fits her and someone needs to make a map for her with this song because it fits her so fucking well it’s insane.

Terrible Things by Brick + Mortar: Ivypool - She sees no difference between her and her sister, Dovewing, yet her sister is consistently praised more than her and gets more attention. Ivypool then joins the Dark Forest as they claimed to have seen in her, what her Clanmates saw in Dovewing. Instead of dreaming, she fought hard to get the attention and mild praise of a few dead cats. She murdered cats for them and all she got in return was a free t-shirt.

Burn The House Down by AJR: Squirrelflight - Honestly this just gives me some lighthearted Squirrelflight vibes. More so when she was still an apprentice and wanted to be treated with the same amount as respect as a warrior but she tried to gain their respect in ridiculous ways, such as joining Brambleclaw on the journey to the Sundrown place, for instance.

G-G-Ghost by Steven Universe: Fallen Leaves - He’s just a ghost boy who wants someone to notice him!

Noticed by MandoPony: Sol - This theatre gay just wants someone to pay attention to him! And if you do look away, he might have to kill you. M i g h t

Nothing Personal by Night Riots: Darktail - He came to erase the Clans. He will wash away their history, he will make himself the leader of his own group and lead them with an iron fist, his ideology is correct. To the members of his group he is a shining star, a beacon of light and truth.

Contagious by Night Riots: Shadowpaw - This is more speculative but it seems to me that he could definitely start to think that he is bad, wrong. Because of the voice in his head. He is plagued with lies, just by existing he has broken the code. He has to remind himself, it isn’t his fault that he is shunned, looked down upon. But everything is wearing him down. Reminding yourself that it isn’t wrong to exist is tiring.

On the Line by Night Riots: Tawnypelt - Tawnypelt is the type to give all she has for her Clan. Sometimes she gets nervous but she fights through it because her Clan is what matters most. 

She Wants Me Dead by CAZZETTE: Crowfeather - This is just every female in Crowfeather’s life at him.

Bet on You by The Man Who: Mistystar - Back when Mistystar was known as Mistyfoot, she crtiticized her leader, Leaopardstar harshly. The latter did let her brother be murdered. Though Leopardstar would’ve risked her own life, among everyone in her clan’s life, had she tried to stop it from happening. Leopardstar made many mistakes throughout her life but Mistyfoot always came back to her, in the end she knew Leopardstar was only doing the best she could. 

Choke by I DON’T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME: Darktail - Only he would say the most fucked up things while having a genuine smile on his face and making it sound nice. He only cares for himself, and a distorted love for his mother, painting her as this perfect being who was ruined by his father. I have no doubt that he would do all the things in this songs, given he were able to of course.

Crossing a Line by Mike Shinoda: Leafpool & Squirrelflight - This is all about the truth of Holly/Jay/Lion and how they want to tell them, but don’t know how, and just that whole mess is this song. 

Play with Fire by Sam Tinnesz: Brokenstar - He is one of the most evil characters in the series, using child soldiers will do that though. He takes pleasure from seeing cats die, especially kits. He enjoys watching others suffer, especially if he can gain something by it. He forced WindClan out of the Clan territories because he wanted the extra hunting land.

Monster (Under my Bed) by Call Me Karizma: Tigerclaw - After his father left, Tigerkit felt alone. His sisters were dead, and his mother was heartbroken. He looked for friends in the shadows, hoping that they’d take form and want to play. It took some time but they took form in the shape of a cat. She was a transparent tortoiseshell, claiming to be of ThunderClan’s past. It didn’t matter to Tigerkit though, she promised to make him the strongest cat in the forest, in all of the Clan’s history even. That’s what mattered to Tigerkit. He wanted to be strong enough to take down any of his enemies and most importantly, his father.

Wolves (You Got Me) by DREAMERS: Fire/Raven - Firepaw is the new apprentice and oh no there’s a cute anxious boy. “Guess we’ll fall in love” they said, and then they did. Firepaw learned how to hunt, and fight. Though it was a bit harder because he was absolutely smitten with Ravenpaw.

Our Song by Vinyl Theatre: Sandstar (w/ Clan) -  (Med-Cat!Fire AU) This happens before the battle with BloodClan, when they’re still preparing. 

High Hopes by Panic! At The Disco: Hollyleaf - (Wind!Holly AU) - This is her coming home after leaving the tunnels and rescuing Dovewing, and Ivypool. She is welcomed back warmly by her mother, brother, and best friend (Heathertail)

[tubular-ihateit]

The Great Prank War

{Credit to @emovirgil-sanders for the idea}

In which Virgil and Roman start a prank war and chaos ensues.

/ / / / / / / / / / / /

The whole thing had started out as an accident honestly.

It was early in the morning. Too early for either Roman or Virgil to be awake in their opinions. But never the less they were both stumbling around the kitchen in a sleepy daze, each going about making their own hot beverage they hoped would help them feel less like death.

Virgil had groaned out a quiet 'pass the sugar' to which Roman lazily lifted the container down from the self and slid it over to his roommate and childhood friend as he stared down at the steaping cup of herbal tea in front of him.

The sound of a spoon clinking against the side of a ceramic mug was soon followed by the sound of Virgil spitting put his coffee in surprise and shock. The sudden noise caused the more theatrical of the two to snap his head up in concern.

"The fuck?" Virgil muttered, now mostly shaken out of his tired state. First he checked the coffee jar to make sure it was still in date, which it was.

Roman watched him with confusion and looked down at the same time as Virgil to the container Roman had handed him. Instead of seeing the usual sugar shaker that appeared at least twice each morning, sitting beside the mug was the shaker of salt.

The two friends realised three things in this moment.

1) putting the salt and sugar on the same shelf had in fact been a bad idea as Virgil had stated when they first set it all up.

2) salt really did not work in coffee.

3) vengeance will have to be had.

Roman spent the next few days constantly on his toes, looking over his shoulder and jumping at every unfamiliar noise. He felt he was acting rather like his anxious friend, who in all earnest was basically a brother to him. He would constantly keep an eye on him when they were in their home together.

Then, one day when he was getting up to get ready for work he couldn't find any of his shoes (which was odd considering he had so many pairs). He started to panic, wondering what on earth the emo nightmare could have done with them.

He tabled out his room, sliding down the hall with his socks and practically leaping down the stairs to a smirking Virgil on the kitchen doorway, holding a steaming cup of coffee between the sleeves of his oversized hoodie.

"Mornin'." Roman looked around before turing his gaze back to the slightly shorter male.

"Where are they?" He demanded. Virgil gave a small shrug and a sip of his coffee.

"Whatever do you mean Roman?" Safe to say he was not amused by this.

"The shoes. All of them. Where?"

"How would I know?" Virgil turned his gaze to the window on their front door. "Lovely day for tree climbing isn't it?"

Roman's eyes widened in quick realisation and he sprinted to the door, throwing it open then taking a step back in shock as he saw the tree at the bottom of their lawn that was now littered with shoes. HIS shoes.

Virgil slowly made his way to beside Roman.

"Huh, I guess shoes do grow on trees. Weird." He patted Romans shoulder and turned away, heading back into the kitchen to finish off his coffee. "Have fun with that sir sing-a-lot." Roman grumbled but made his way down the garden to start retrieving his shoes.

It was only a few days later the Virgil awoke to his entire floor covered in brightly coloured legos and his walls plastered with neon post-it notes. Then a harsh knock on his already open door.

"Good morning! Dear me, seems you have a bit of a situation there."

"Roman..." Virgil hissed lowly, sitting up in his bed and sending a glare towards his roommate.

"Oh well, good luck with that." And just like that he was casually making his way out to work.

"Roman!" Virgil tried calling after him, tired and agitated. After no response he groaned and mumbled curses to himself as he tried to navigate the death trap of legos.

It was a day later, when Roman was getting back from a shopping run that the next prank hit.

A failed sense of security had settled over him, expect it to have taken a couple of days for something to happen. Virgil took full advantage of this.

At first nothing really seemed off, but then Roman noticed an odd hissing. Being the 'brave' one out of him and Virgil he decided it was his duty to investigate. When he followed the sound he realised it was coming from the bathroom.

He cautiously opened the door and almost feel, letting out a high pitched screem, when he was greeted with a bowa constrictor slithering around his bathroom floor and over the towel rack.

"Begone, you nave! Foul tresspassor! This is not your land!" Roman yelled while waving around a towel in the direction of the snake.

After a few moments of watching him flailing around Virgil emerged from his room laughing and picked up the snake calmly.

"Glad to see you an Ethan are well acquainted now." He hummed before heading back to his room a shutting the door, leaving a flustered Roman behind.

Romans next prank didn't exactly go to plan. The idea was to post up pictures of himself on every possible surface that Virgil would see for long periods of time. He had done this successfully, until Virgil had countered by putting the world's worst collection of moustaches on every single one. He might have been less offended had Virgil of not put in the extra effort to make his moustache art look spectacularly like it was done by a five year old high on sugar and juice.

This war went on, back a fourth between the two for months, driving everyone one around them insane. At one point Roman managed to get a group of his co-workers to dress up like him and he brought them home. Virgil was sufficiently freaked out when he walked in to find six different versions of his roommate scattered around his home, but easily turned the tables by getting them all to pie Roman in the face the next day at work during different times (which led to four total outfit changes for the princely man that day). After that, everyone unofficially agreed to not get involved.

Neither man seemed to ever run put of new ideas for a good hearted prank they could play, although ocassionaly they would take an old one and do it in a different way. Like when Roman plastered sheets of the lyrics to every disney song ever around every single iteam Virgil owned. Then a few pranks down the line did the same thing but with sickeningly over-positive motivational quotes.

It was a battle hard fought on both sides. There was balloons, cream, lamp shades, plants and yes, even syrup. Oh the syrup. Days of scrubbing and it still lingered in remnants everywhere.

It was only after Logan and Patton stepped in that the war between the two stopped. They now had a common enemy. And thus started the "Great Prank War: the sequel".

[janiedean]

Bro the Queen thing was just for a laugh lol let gay people make jokes

bro, if you had said ‘let gay people make jokes that make them sound like four year olds that just found out kindergarten exists’ I could have taken you seriously, but since you still can’t get into your thick performative activist heads that it’s not funny for anyone except maybe the three of you, I’ll explain you a few brief facts:

one: ¾ths of queen are straight so assuming they wouldn’t understand song they wrote and played (beyond somebody to love) already shows that you haven’t thought this joke through;

two: freddie mercury made a goddamned point to not make his sexuality a selling point or the only part of him people would be interested in when listening to his *music*, so your dumb jokes are something he would most likely fucking hate;

three: sorry to break it to you, but with all the sales queen had, going statistically, I can assure you more than half of their fanbase is straight, so congrats on assuming millions of people don’t get the bands they like;

four: music is an extremely subjective thing that tells different things to different people regardless of the original target of the song. I’ve seen articles titled ‘how I, a lesbian person, realized springsteen’s music wasn’t just for male cishet middle-aged guys’ in which people said that to them, a song that’s blatantly about a guy who killed someone and hightails it out of town and hopes that the border patrol doesn’t stop him, felt like it was about wanting to leave somewhere you had to stay in the closet and felt suffocated because you couldn’t come out. now, that’s nowhere near the original meaning of the song, but if for the lesbian author that related on that level… who the hell am I to make posts like ‘lesbians don’t understand springsteen songs’? spoilers: no one;

five: one reasons queen actually made it big was that their songs are actually very much relatable on a bunch of different levels and as I explained some ass who made jokes about how *straights* wouldn’t get I want to break free (written by a straight man btw but I see that now at least y’all are having the decency to pick songs that freddie wrote to throw shade at the straights TM, huh?), just that ONE song can be relatable for, FOR EXAMPLE, people with depression, people stuck in a phase of their life they hate, someone getting over a bad relationship and lgbt people who want to come out. and the lyrics to I want to break free are hardly extra complicated or difficult or obscure. of course then you have borap which no one still understands and freddie refused to explain but like… it’s IT CAN BE WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT regardless of whether their lyrics are obscure or the entire contrary. that was what made queen sell the number of records they did - because they make songs people can relate to, genius;

six: the fact that your ***joke*** assumes straight people can’t in any way shape or form conceive a life where they feel like they’ll be forever alone and no one will love them or they will never find a relationship says all about how **funny** it is because it implies dehumanizing an entire category of people and assuming they don’t have feelings or can’t conceive what y’all go through, which then turns into People On This Hellsite sending straight people TM the worst kind of bullshit and vile anons just because since we have no feelings and we’re supposed to take all your dumb unfunny jokes then it’s fine. idk, since I’ve been here according to you I should have laughed at:a) people telling me at thirty I was too old for anything and I should look for a husband and get married already;b) people telling me I was a homophobe/half of this dumbass website blocking me on sight for informing y’all that straight women find men sexually attractive as a general rule - no, really;c) someone telling me once that they hoped I’d find someone I would trust implicitly and give all of myself to in bed just to have them tell me the moment after we’re done that I was ugly and unlovable and I deserved to die alone;e) being called a bitch/homophobe an insane amount of times for pointing out that straight women who don’t look standard attractive have issues;f) people questioning why I went to therapy because I happen to relate to a character in a straight ship that they hated and the reasons why I went are Issues That Character Has.that was just the first six instances I could think of because they were personal but I assure you, your rhetoric about straight people TM being dehumanized aliens who hate y’all isn’t helping literally anyone;

seven: as someone who has fucking struggled with years with the issues the somebody to love narrator has (I did look at the mirror and felt horrible/almost cried when I was a teenager, I did wake up each morning feeling like shit for half of my time in uni, I’ve been struggling with managing initiating contact with other people since high school fucked me up in that sense, I’ve been told that I could never be attractive enough to find someone who’d love me and that I was too brainy or ugly or extra or threatening for men to even look at me and so on) and who has always found that song immediately relatable which is why, surprise surprise, out of all the songs freddie mercury wrote on his own for this band - not counting the march of the black queen but that’s another story - somebody to love is absolutely my single favorite and has always been since the second I heard it, because to me it was relatable at seventeen and it’s relatable now, the moment I read that fucking ****joke**** I literally felt a bout of vomit rise up in my throat, my stomach closed up and for a second I felt like crying as your joke was implying that my straightness disqualified me from understanding/liking a song I’ve loved and felt deeply for half of my life, but I suppose that doesn’t mean anything in comparison to the fact that you **gays of tumblr** need to have a laugh at the expense of 85% of the planet and not, idk, homophobes? no, you never say HOMOPHOBES COULDN’T UNDERSTAND QUEEN or whatever the fuck it is, you say straight people can’t. if you don’t see where the fuck is your problem I’d advise you to really go back to kindergarten because usually you realize that other people have feelings at about that age and I have a feeling that if this is your reasoning for saying I should shut up and have a laugh at my own expanse, well, you’re just an asshole;

eight: newsflash, bro, some people use music to cope with just about anything. I’m not the only person I know who has a fairly damned visceral personal relationship with the music she listens to, to the point where I can do the art is not the artist thing np with just about any media except music - I can watch a movie made by a person I despise or whose political views I despise, if I think it’s a good movie, I can’t physically listen to music from people I despise or whose political views I despise. heck, every time my local rock music station airs current lynyrd skynyrd’s music I mute it because their lyrics make me want to hurl and I actually do like the melody half of the time, but I can’t listen to them. and I know people who are way worse than me about this. if you show up basically telling me (or whoever else) that bands we like and helped us through whatever fucking shit life threw at us are now Not A Thing We Can Like Or Understand Anymore you’re being an asshole and for a thing that makes no sense because the beautiful thing about MUSIC in general is that everyone finds the music they like relatable for different fucking reasons even if it’s the same artist and your dumbass attempts at **gatekeeping** bands that existed since before you were born and straight people listened to since before you were born and whose records they bought before you were born is honestly just so fucking ridiculous and really kindergarten-level that if that is what you need to have a laugh I advise you to develop some sense of humor, because you sure as hell ain’t got one.

good enough for you? your joke wasn’t funny. deal with it e stacce.

also: I’m fucking done giving a shit about what kind of dumbass jokes at the expense of **straight people** y’all think is cool to make on here. are we oppressed for being straight? sure af not. but since most straight people on here are actually allies and support your rights and uh, are also human beings that aren’t just useful when you need someone to reblog your info posts informing us that ***straight people can reblog!!! :)))*** underneath after having reblogged your fucking jokes ten minutes earlier, I really don’t give a fuck about your need to have a laugh at the expanse of other people’s feelings and I’m going to reblog all the people telling you that y’all ain’t funny until my fingers fall off.

ps: did you send this message also to the pansexual user who called that dumbass OP on their bullshit before I did? just for science.

pps: grow the fuck up, it’s been time since years and y’all have about played all of your ‘it was just a joke’ cards a hell of a long time ago.

[deadlydreamin]

okay time for me to ramble about how much i love bts and how much those seven boys mean to me (this is actually a whole 2,390 word fucking essay so you can probably ignore this lmao):

for starters i want to talk about their talent. they have worked so hard as trainees and since their 2013 debut, and a lot of people seem to think they’re overrated. they have worked their asses off to get where they are today and they are always setting new records (or the army is for streams and shit) and doing things never done before when it comes to kpop. members like jin, who started off as a bighit actor with no singing/dancing talent - his vocal coach (and anyone who had heard his vocals from 2013 to now) says that instead of improving, that he’s completely transformed after probable years of staying up until 3am practicing. this is also shown with hoseok, who was meant to be a vocalist and main dancer but instead a rapper and main dancer - he worked hard (with the help of yoongi and namjoon) to learn HOW to rap, and again, if you compare cypher pt 1 to cypher pt 4, there’s a massive improvement in his rap. all of the members work so hard and have natural talent and i just- they deserve to be where they are today. 

i also want to mention each of the members and what they’ve taught me.

starting with worldwide handsome kim seokjin, he’s taught me that hard work and perseverance will get you where you want to go in life. like i said, his vocals have completely transformed and he can sing notes higher than the sky [see his crystal snow triple high note, it gives me chills everytime], and his vocals have become so stable now while performing and i am proud of him. in his wings album solo, awake, he also expresses how he feels that he isn’t as talented as his other six members, and i can relate to this - i also feel inadequate compared to nearly everyone else around me. the bridge also makes me cry a little bit because it’s just- holy shit man. he’s also like the mum of bts, despite his love of cracking dad jokes whenever he can. 

min yoongi, my ultimate bias. he is someone i look up to and aspire to be. yoongi is an incredible producer, lyricist, and rapper, and i could go on and on about his skills. he also works incredibly hard making music and his rapping is no joke, especially in cypher pt 2, 3, and his mixtape are brilliant. more than this, he talks about his struggles with anxiety (social) and depression, and especially his mixtape song the last - a lot of his songs on the mixtape have amazing lyrics, and specific instances of something happening that was incredibly personal to him. despite struggling with his issues, he has kept going, and when i ever get down, i think of how he has learned to love himself, and that i am capable of this too. also i think i relate to him most on a lot of levels - he’s the tired grandpa of the group, but can be silly and fun when he’s with hoseok. he has a hard time showing how much he cares for the others and isn’t as touchy as the other members tend to be, but he still does show he cares in subtle ways and i also can relate to this, because i often have no fucking clue as to how i should express my emotions. he looks like someone that could beat the shit out of you but is actually a big ol’ softie on the inside and he constantly says shit that makes me go “wow, same.” going back to his rap again, yoongi can rap fucking fast, but still can put so much energy behind his verses while doing it - he often builds up, he will go off and rap so fucking fast you question whether this man has lungs, and then go back - all the while you can tell he puts his entire being into his rap, if that makes sense. he also has a wide range - he can go from a kind of harsh, fast rap to a slower, smooth one (compare his verse of cypher pt 2 to seesaw - though seesaw does have his great vocals in it too, the change in his voice is remarkable). 

your hope, your angel, j-hope. jung hoseok is an insanely talented dancer and rapper, and like the other members works so hard. his rapping, like i said, has improved over the years and he’s incredible now. his dancing has always been amazing to look at, because unlike jimin, who was also a dancer pre-debut, he did a lot of hip-hop based dance and he can express literally all of his emotions in his movements which i think is incredible. his vocals are also amazing and bighit needs to give him more vocal lines (like in blood, sweat and tears. that shit gets me every time). he is definitely the member who bias wrecks me a lot and i love his sunshine attitude. he’s a ball of joy and an angel (but also his fancam for that no more dream dance break does actually murder me) and his random outbursts and the fact he is also such a meme makes him lovable too. he’s taught me that i should always have a positive attitude to life and that it makes other people feel good too. hoseok has this effect on the other members (i believe it is referred to as ‘mood setter’ or something?), especially yoongi, where the other members may feel down but hoseok just has to be his extra self and they start smiling - like, yoongi will go from being tired and grumpy. place him in a room with hoseok? they’ll be goofs together and it’s the cutest shit (okay this is supposed to only be about hoseok but i do love me some sope content and i’m gonna go on about them here for a little bit longer). yoongi and hoseok are my two ult biases out of the various groups i listen to, because the two together create this chaotic energy and i love it - see the sope me behind the scenes duet bangtan bomb on youtube. those two are so chaotic in that video. 

the kim namjoon himself. he’s the leader, rapper, and also produces/writes songs for bts. he’s also fluent in english due to watching friends, yet again he has an iq of 148 so he can do pretty much anything. namjoon is the glue that holds bts together - he does a good job of it, too, with sorting out solutions to disagreements and comforting the members when they need it most. if seokjin is the mum of bts, namjoon is the dad. namjoon has taught me that it is important we learn to love ourselves. his two mixtapes are different, particularly with the overall sound and tone of each mixtape - rm has a very hip-hop/rap sound, and is quite aggressive, while mono. is calming and very relaxed and reflective. i listen to rm when i’m feeling aggressive, and mono. when i need to relax or calm down (it is one of three things that helps me relax before going to sleep and also good to listen to after i’ve had a panic attack or something). i feel a particular connection with moonchild, from mono. the message namjoon portrays throughout the song is something with a calming sound, but also something that offers some encouragement to me when i need it, especially the chorus: “moonchild, you shine, when moon rise, it’s your time/moonchild, don’t cry, when moon rise, it’s your time” 

park jimin. his high vocals are incredible and his high notes also give me goosebumps. he has a beautiful dance style that is unlike hoseok’s, as it is more contemporary/ballet focused and his movements reflect this. he has gone through hating his looks and becoming anorexic because of this, and i think that he is doing so much better now (i am talking him not eating a full, proper meal for upwards of ten days). he’s still quite self critical, and hates whenever he makes a small mistake, but i think that he puts so much work into making sure his performance is always perfect that he doesn’t always take care of himself, and that’s what i have learned from jimin - take proper care of yourself, and you should never have to hate your appearance because others develop high expectations for you. again, he works so hard to make sure he has a perfect performance every time and i commend him for this, but also he tends to overwork himself a lot and i’d love for him to take a week off at some point where he can just relax a bit more. he definitely deserves it. 

kim taehyung. i think of the whole vocal line, his vocals are my favourite. he has a wide vocal range, going from notes lower than my not achieved grades to notes higher than the sky (stigma and singularity are great examples of this) - i can also actually sing his parts as i have a lower range and when i can sing a few lines with taehyung, i always feel good. like yoongi, tae can change and influence his rapping “voice”, taehyung can do a similar thing - he can be low and smooth with some high notes, and then suddenly he goes raspy and it’s fantastic (again, singularity vs war of hormone). the other three vocalsists can make their voices rough and raspy, but taehyung i think does it especially well, and it suits his incredibly low notes. despite his low voice, he’s actually got the personality and mental age of a child 99% of the time and to see him on and off stage is certainly interesting lmao. i would also like to add that he too is quite the meme (gucci boy) and he looks really good in a bandana/headband and i need more of that content in my daily life. taehyung was also behind the meaning of the army phrase “i purple you”, which means “i love/cherish/support you”, and whenever someone says that to me, i always feel great for the rest of the day. taehyung has taught me that bts do genuinely love us all and that as long as we support them, they will support us, and the shared love between bts and army. 

the golden maknae, jeon jungkook. jungkook’s vocals are great, and in all honesty i do miss and go back to bts’ older music purely for the reason of seeing this young lad as one, a fetus, and two, to hear him rap. he’s good at pretty much anything he tries, having a black belt in taekwondo and various other things, and he’s currently working hard to study and learn english so that namjoon isn’t the only fluent english speaker in the group. honestly i find the concept of namjoon helping jungkook with english wholesome and it brings a smile to my face. despite jungkook being thrown into fame at a young age, he’s stayed humble and a happy person and i think it goes to show that fame won’t always screw someone up if they have the right people around them. jungkook had six older boys who practically raised him from when he became a trainee (which he must have been 12-13 when he became a trainee) and they taught him well. i’ve learned that from jungkook - by surrounding myself with the right people (though he wasn’t willingly technically, i’m grateful he did have the boys there for him and i couldn’t see anyone else in the group), i can remain what is most important in life - staying happy and humble. 

bts has taught me several lessons in life, and i think that a lot of people dismiss them because they’re korean, because they’re overrated, because their music isn’t in english. what they seem to fail to understand is that emotion transcends languages, and that multilingual people do exist who translate lyrics for those who wouldn’t understand the entire song. even then, if you listen to the truth untold without english (or your native language) lyrics, you can still feel the sad vibes of the song. likewise if you listen to something like anpanman - you will feel the more positive energy and hype that the song conveys without the lyrics. a lot of people don’t want to listen to kpop because they might not understand what the songs are saying right away, but if you take your time and find music with messages you find inspiring and that impact you, it shouldn’t always matter what language the song is sung in, as long as you have a translated version that you can read and understand the basic message of the song. a lot of people wonder why bts has become so popular, and not just for their golden visuals, or their talent, but also the message they spread, especially with their love yourself album series - and it’s easy to see why after that. self love is something that many, many people struggle with and once people understand this message, people like bts because of this. people will listen to music that may not be in a language they speak because once they have seen/read the lyrics to the song in question, if the message stays with them, they will remember the message when they listen to the song, and just the association of the song and the message is enough for people to feel comfort from it. i am like this with magic shop - it is a song made specifically for the army, and about how we can take comfort in them when we are in pain/struggling/etc. the thought of this message enough while listening to the song makes me smile (and cry too lmao). 

anyways, i think this is the end of my rambling. goodnight y’all, and if you read this far holy shit, you are a champion.

[hermitologist]

My 20 Favorite Records Of 2018

Hi. I made a list of my favorite records of the year again. People seem to enjoy these things, and I definitely enjoy tearing my hair out trying to figure out what I liked best, so here we are again.

 This years list is chock full of heavy/sludgy bummer jams, post-rock epics, and super aggressive metal and hardcore, with a few poppier and more adventurous indie records scattered about. The honorable mentions list gets a bit more eclectic if you’re looking for stuff that sounds a little less like it was birthed from the loins of the late-90s/early-00s Hydrahead and Relapse discography.

As always, I welcome your suggestions for records and podcasts I might’ve missed the boat on, no matter the genre. There’s way too much good stuff out there to keep up with, so help me out.

Also: When my aging corpse is not being pissy about being used for something other than child-wrangling, eating, or sleeping, I try to run a few days a week and will listen to/briefly review a record on each run. Almost every record on this list has been a part of one of those posts, so if you’re interested in such a thing, please check out my Instagram. 

BONUS: I put together playlists of my favorite song from each of my top 20 records, so if you’re overwhelmed and don’t know where to start, just throw it on and see if anything grabs you.

Hermitology’s Favorite 20 Records of 2018 - Spotify Playlist

Hermitology’s Favorite 20 Records of 2018 - Apple Music Playlist

20) Slugdge - Esoteric Malacology

This record is ridiculous in the best ways possible -- insane amounts of shredding, light-speed double bass and blast beats, and lyrics about slugs and other assorted beasts. It’s been ages since I went through my Swedish & Norwegian Metal phase, but this awakened those long-dormant receptors that used to hum when I listened to At The Gates, Opeth, Dimmu Borgir, Soilwork, et al.

Listen here.

19) Ingrina - Etter Lys

Excellent French doomgaze/post-rock that sounds like it could very easily be the soundtrack to the apocalypse. Etter Lys has a familiar sound/vibe, but a refreshing energy and captivating sense of dark melody that really makes them stand out to me. Highly recommended for fans of This Will Destroy You, Rosetta, God Is An Astronaut, et al.

Listen here.

18) Beach House - 7

This record was the perfect foil to all heavy stuff I listened to this year, and my go-to in-flight record of 2018. It’s a damn near perfect collection hazy, airy, dreamy, downtempo indie pop. I’d never been a huge Beach House fan, but 7 hooked me and pulled me in. Throw this your headphones on, press play, and melt into your chair or couch.

Listen here.

17) Culture Abuse - Bay Dream

This record was not what I was expecting, but it ended up being exactly what I needed. (If that makes any sense.) Instead of a grimy, high-energy punk record, I got a fuzzy, bouncy, catchy-as-hell soundtrack to my entire summer. A perfect blend of The Ramones and peak-Weezer, with a vibe all its own.

Listen here.

16) Deads - LLNN

Roughly forty minutes of insanely heavy and furious drop-tuned, down-tempo, doom-inspired crushers offset by eerie, cinematic synth parts. If you’re a fan of early-Cult of Luna and/or Isis, this record should be a new staple in your diet. There’s also enough atmosphere here to appeal to post-rock fans who might desire a little aggression boost.

Listen here.

15) Heads. - Collider

Beautifully written sludgy rock that falls somewhere between the heaviness and spookiness of Young Widows and the heroin-soaked atmosphere and melody of Failure. For what it’s worth, I dig Collider more than either of the aforementioned bands’ most recent output. It’s a perfect marriage of influences, killer songwriting, an excellent recording, and a flat out fantastic record from front to back.

Listen here.

14) mewithoutYou - [untitled]

I’ve been a mewithoutYou fan for ages and love everything they’ve done (so I’m a little biased), but this record is just on a completely different level as far as I’m concerned. It’s the peak of their creativity, songwriting, mood, dynamics, lyrics, production, etc. It’s got the atmosphere and moodiness of post-rock, the angular quirkiness of Fugazi, the energy of Refused (at times), and the all the character of a classic mwY record. It’s phenomenal, and doubly impressive because they made it 18 years deep into an already impressive career.

Listen here.

13) Foxing - Nearer My God

I was familiar with Foxing before this record came out because they’d toured with many former tourmates, and while I appreciated what I’d heard from them, they never really clicked with me. And then I heard this record and it totally floored me. It’s incredibly ambitious without coming across as super scatterbrained or pretentious and it’s executed flawlessly (production included). This band should be massive, and I’m stunned that I’m not seeing this record on more year-end lists

Listen here.

12) This Will Destroy You - New Others Part 1 & 2

Somehow TDWY managed drop two incredible full lengths a month apart, and I honestly cannot choose between the two (so I’m combining them into one). These LPs are arguably their best work as a band, the addition of Robi Gonzalez on drums has given their sound new energy, dynamics, and pocket, and there aren’t many bands in post-rock doing it as well as these dudes do. Incredibly impressive to be able to put out this much music all at once and have it be this consistent. 

Listen here.

11) The Armed - Only Love

Somehow this record manages to be chaotic, energetic, beautiful, delicate, catchy-as-hell, abrasive, and atmospheric all at once. Sometimes it sounds like you accidentally have five different songs playing at the same time. Somehow modular synth-soaked punk/metal works. Clearly I cannot explain exactly what in the everliving hell is happening here, but I can tell you that it’s a wholly arresting record that blew my mind on first listen, and has gotten better with every listen since.  

Listen here.

10) Hemwick - Junkie (EP)

Normally, I wouldn’t include an EP on this list, but this is one just too good to ignore. It’s 30 minutes of insane riffage and heaviness that sounds like it spawned from the same gene pool that produced Converge, Cult Leader, and Intronaut. It’s got the spazziness and brutality of the former, blended perfectly with the occasional post-rock/metal shift into the epic melody of the latter. Super excited to hear what comes next for these guys (hopefully an LP recorded with Scott Evans or Kurt Ballou?), because this is an incredibly promising “debut”. 

Listen here.

9) Architects - Holy Hell

As a standalone record, Holy Hell slays. As a follow-up to losing a family/band member to cancer (guitarist, Tom Searle), it’s a fucking triumph. Somehow Architects managed to push through the grief and heartache, and pushed the boundaries of their musical creativity and emotive lyrics to create what is arguably their best record. Holy Hell is packed to the gills with with massive, arena-sized riffs and moshworthy breakdowns, sprinkled with just enough melody and dynamic to keep things fresh without losing its edge. An amazing accomplishment in the face of such adversity.

 Listen here.

8) Slow Mass - On Watch

An outstanding fusion of mellow(er) post-hardcore, bummer jams, Unwound-inspired post-punk, and shimmery shoegazey goodness. “Suburban Yellow” (see playlist) is one of my favorite songs of the year, falling somewhere between the crushing gloominess of a Kowloon Walled City song, and the somber plod of a classic Pedro The Lion track. I tend to shy away from music with dual lead vocals (because I often prefer one of the voices to the point that I’d rather just hear it all the time), but Dave Collis and Mercedes Webb’s voices are so complimentary and perfectly balanced that they take these songs to another level. Bonus: I’d highly recommend watching their frigid Audiotree session. 

Listen here.

7) Hot Snakes - Jericho Sirens

One of my favorite bands of all-time put out its first record in 14 years, and it was well worth the wait. It’s Hot Snakes doing what they do best --  ripping 30 minutes of high-energy post-punk jams fueled by the brilliantly weird guitar wizardry of John Reis, and propelled by the dual drummer attack of Mario Rubalcaba and Jason Kourkounis. I’m not entirely sure where I’d rank it in their discography, but having fresh Hot Snakes tracks makes the world a better place. 

Listen here.

6) Cloud Nothings - Last Building Burning

What did we do to deserve two Cloud Nothings LPs in two years? I was a little worried about whether the band could churn out a record as fantastic as Life Without Sound (which landed at #7 on last year’s list), but they absolutely did. Last Building Burning builds on the catchiness and energy of LWS’s bummer jams, but adds a little extra grit, fury, and urgency. The result is a record that’s damn near peak Cloud Nothings. It’s got hooks for days, an energy that’ll make you want to bounce off the walls, and a nasty edge that brings to mind 80′s Wipers or early Hot Snakes jams.

Listen here.

5) Cult Leader - A Patient Man

Cult Leader’s Lightless Walk was a Top 5 record for me in 2015, Gaza’s No Absolutes In Human Suffering was in my Top 5 in 2012, so it should be no surprise that they’ve cracked the Top 5 again. I’d be hard pressed to name another HEAVY band who has done it for me the way these guys have over the past six years. A Patient Man hits all the notes -- pure chaos, expansive and melancholic post-rock sections, and the most headbang-worthy breakdowns on the planet. It’d take a miracle to get this 43-year-old geriatric with a bad back to come out of mosh retirement, but the breakdown in “Aurum Reclusa” is seriously making me think about a comeback.

Listen here.

4) Low - Double Negative

I don’t think I’ve had a record screw with my brain as hard as Double Negative did since I heard Kid A for the first time. It’s a spooky, brain-liquifying journey through sonic textures and ambience, arranged and mixed in a manner that is absolutely enthralling (and a bit unnerving and “wtf are my headphones broken?”at times). If you’re gearing up for a first listen, I’d highly recommend clearing an hour on your schedule, throwing on a good pair of headphones, and letting this have its way with you. If you’ve already heard it, you should listen to it again. It gets better and weirder and more captivating every time. It’s a trip, and a great one at that. 

Listen here.

3) Daughters - You Won’t Get What You Want

As a standalone record, this is groundbreaking. As a “comeback record” it’s a fucking triumph. Their S/T record (2010) is one of my favorite heavy/noise rock records of all-time, and somehow YWGWYW surpassed my lofty expectations for a follow-up. It’s a dizzying journey for sure. It’s moody as hell. It’s coherent. It’s adventurous without being overly weird. And it’s all of the best things about their previous work distilled into a perfect chunk of musical madness. The best records are the ones that make your brain matter spill out of your ears upon first listen, but it’s the all-time classics that do that and get better with every subsequent listen. Sure, it’s a record for “when the mood is right”, but when I’m in the mood, this hits all the notes for me. It’s a masterpiece. 

Listen here.

2) Holy Fawn - Death Spells

This record came out of nowhere and absolutely knocked me on my ass. I’m not sure I’ve had a record do that to me since I first heard Cloudkicker in 2009 -- knew nothing of it, had zero idea what to expect and literally had goosebumps for a majority of my first listen. Tempe’s Holy Fawn have created a unique blend of dense, dynamic, and cathartic post-rock, doom, and shoegaze with airy vocals that remind me a bit of Jonsi from Sigur Ros. It’ll be a daunting task to follow up this masterpiece, but I’m incredibly excited to see and hear what the future holds for these guys.

Listen here.

1) Pianos Become The Teeth - Wait For Love

This was one of my most anticipated records of the year, and it not only lived up to my lofty expectations, but exceeded them. “Bitter Red” was far and away my most played song of the year, and I must’ve listened to Wait For Love 50 times during the month of February alone. It’s no surprise that I found myself going back to it throughout the year, and in revisiting for this list, it gave me chills just like it did 10 months ago. These dudes are doing melancholic and cathartic post-hardcore better than just about anyone these days, and I cannot wait to hear what’s next for them.

Listen here.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Roughly 80% of these records could/should have very easily landed on the Top 20 list (and probably would if I obsessed over this list any further and gave everything a super dedicated re-listen). They’re all absolutely worth checking out.

I know this list might be a little daunting, so I put together a Spotify Playlist of my favorite songs from each record, so you can just throw it on and see if anything grabs you. 

Thanks to my man Zack Hite for helping me out and putting together an Apple Music version of the playlist. 

Hermitology’s 2018 Honorable Mentions Spotify Playlist

Hermitology’s 2018 Honorable Mentions Apple Music Playlist

Baptists - Beacon of Faith

Birds In Row - We Already Lost The World

Boygenius - S/T EP

Candy - Good to Feel

Coastlands - The Further Still

Conjurer - Mire

Death Engine - Place Noire

Drug Church - Cheer

Emma Ruth Rundle - Dark Horses

Failure - In the Future Your Body Will Be ... 

Fiddlehead - Springtime and Blind

Hammock - Universalis

IDLES - Joy As An Act Of Resistance

Jay Jayle - No Trail & Other Unholy Paths

Jesus Piece - Only Self

KEN Mode - Loved

Man Mountain - Infinity Mirror

Mogwai - KIN

Nate Smith - Pocket Change

OHHMS - Exist

Ólafur Aarnalds - re:member

Polyphia - New Levels, New Devils

Portrayal of Guilt - Let Pain Be Your Guide

Prefuse 73 - Sacrifices

Rolo Tomassi - Time Will Die … 

Sectioned - Annihilated

Slow Crush - Aurora

Snail Mail - Lush

SUMAC - Love In Shadow

Svalbard - It’s Hard To Have Hope

Taken - With Regards To (EP)

The Story So Far - Proper Dose

Tides of Man - Every Nothing

Vein - Errorzone

Yashira - Shrine

PODCAST QUEUE

The Deadcast (humor, sports, politics)

Chapo Trap House (politics, humor)

Hang Up & Listen (sports, culture, nerdy)

Effectively Wild (baseball)

The Frotcast (movies, humor)

The Trap Set (drums, psychology)

The Gist (current events, politics)

Song Exploder (songwriting, production)

The Modern Drummer Podcast (drums)

[unlimitedskyeproductions]

100 Random Things About Blake Riley

(I got bored at 4 am so I wrote down some stuff about my OCs This is not the only 100 Random Things sheet that I have so that should warn you of what's to come) 1: his full name is Blake Riley Bates but he always goes by first and middle names rather than first and last 2: 25 years old 3: birthday is February 15th 4: born on a Saturday at 4:37 AM 5: blood type is O-Negative 6: he was involved in a public bombing by terrorists which left nore than 75% of his body completely mangled and destroyed so he had to be fixed up with robotic prosthetics and as a result he's super self-conscious about the fact that he's "not a complete human" 7: favorite color is, obviously, red 8: GAY AS FUCK but super subtle about it despite being way too flamboyant to be legal 9: LOVES FASHION 10: also loves shopping because like ;;;;; pretty clothes are awesome 11: loves roses and if you give him one he'll love you forever 12: he's generally pretty chill about shit but if you mess with someone he cares about then be prepared to get punched with a robot arm 13: he pretends he doesn't believe in supernatural stuff like ghosts but if he hears a weird noise in the middle of the night he'll probably want to move out the next morning 14: hates coffee but ironically loves coffee cake 15: always a little cold??? for some reason??? 16: he likes to poke people and make them shiver 17: likes being cuddled 18: LOVES spooning when he cuddles someone and he really doesn't care whether he's the big spoon or the little spoon as long as he's cuddling 19: really flirtatious and totally not shy about it like at all 20: he loves spoiling the people he loves and making them feel happy 21: he'll flirt with you all day if you let him but as soon as YOU start flirting with HIM he just becomes this dorky little blushing mess and it's adorable 22: WILL. FUCKING. NOT. stand for people insulting his physical appearance 23: loves peanut butter but not peanuts 24: he can't really swim all that well but he's very good at floating 25: like he can swim properly without drowning but just not all that gracefully (he looks like a fish out of water when he's in the water) 26: has a really weird obsession with snow globes??? he collects them and owns over 50 and they're all alphabetized 27: possibly a bit autistic but Nobody Really Knows For Sure 28: he's a fucking genius (seriously his IQ is fucking insane) 29: it's easy to turn him on but it's really hard to make him calm down afterwards 30: you could literally bump into him at a weird angle and there's a 50/50 chance he'll just randomly get a boner from that alone 31: when he gets going he'll kinda whine and try to flirt with you until you give in but in reality he'd never force you into something you don't feel like doing 32: if he happens to get riled up but has nobody who'll do anything about it (or just doesn't feel like it) he'll end up reading smutty novels all night 33: an incredibly passionate lover 34: he doesn't know the meaning of personal space and he'll just come up behind you for no reason and invade your space with hugs 35: he owns 23 pairs of shoes in total and 18 pairs of them have high heels 36: he's not really a blanket hog but if he goes to bed before you do you're sure as fuck not getting that blanket 37: loves spending time with kids (he really wants to be a daddy) 38: loves pickles for some reason 39: he will literally eat an entire jar of pickles all in one go and then drink the juice when he's done 40: he's really weird about people invading his personal space when he doesn't want them to 41:dO nOT tOUCH hIS hAIR wITHOUT cONSENT oR hE wILL sLAP yOU 42: always sings really shitty pop songs in the shower 43: he rarely watches anime ever at all but he fucking LOVES Sailor Moon 44: he went to a costume party one year before the "incident" and he literally dressed up like Sailor Mars 45: full miniskirt and everything and he looked fucking gorgeous???? but why wouldn't he honestly 46: his weakness is caramel and caramel chocolate and basically anything with caramel in it 47: he's not super clingy but he'll insist on really long hugs before leaving to go home or like do thngs (and I'm talking about super close full-body pressing against each other bear hugs for five minutes -minimum-) 48: he often has recurring nightmares about the "incident" and it's actually not uncommon for him to wake up in the middle of the night crying 49: this happens anywhere between twice in four months to six nights per week for nearly a year 50: when this happens he requires lots of gentle cuddles and sweet words of reassurance that he's okay 51: he acts super flamboyant and sassy but in reality he's the most sensitive man you'll ever meet 52: it's super easy to hurt his feelings so please watch your tongue when you're around this sweet little redhead 53: it's totally not uncommon for him to just randomly start blasting Britney Spears on the stereo with the volume all the way up 54: loves wearing sexy lingerie and just feeling pretty 55: there's rarely a time when his nails aren't painted (never any color but red) 56: he's an expert at beer pong for some reason 57: also a master at bottle flipping and mario kart 58: has three sisters named Tanya, Sharon and Abigaile 59: he acts all pure and classy when in reality he owns a hardcover copy of 50 shades of grey and he's read it at least 30 times by this point 60: never goes anywhere without checking himself out in the mirror 5 times first 61: he has a really bad issue with never shutting up during movies 62: if he thinks of something funny to say he'll lean over and whisper it to whoever he's watching the movie with and this will happen every few minutes during the entre movie 63: he's a virgin but like????? he sure as fuck doesn't want to be at this age 64: SUPER fucking ticklish 65: worst spots are his sides and his stomach 66: he has a really sweet and pretty laugh, almost like music 67: he gets really smarmy whenever he starts tickling someone (sort of like he gets a rush outta teasing them) 68: he doesn't often start tickle fights but holy shit he'll fucking end them 69: generally always an uke rather than a seme 70: he's that one friend who'll come over to your house at 3 am because he made ramen noodles and wants to know if you want some 71: can play the violin and the piano beautifully 72: it's super easy to make him cry but he'll never actually cry in front of anyone, he'll just politely excuse himself from the room when he gets upset and go into a random room and sob his heart out until he feels better (quietly, of course) 73: has the mindset of "if you like me I'll let you bother me, but if I don’t like you then fuck off in a fire" 74: despite that he's super nice to everyone unless provoked 75: bacon is honestly his muse 76: he'll eat an entire pack of that shit for breakfast and he'd honestly eat more than a single pack if you let him 77: if you don't watch him carefully he'll wander off and go missing for the whole damn day, and when he comes back it's with an entire car full of shopping bags because guess what he went on aNOTHER fucking shopping spree 78: he's super high maintenance but at the same time he isn't??? 79: like he's just as excited with a super expensive jewelry gift as he is with a bag of burgers from McDonald's 80: he's weird like that 81: he'll pretty much eat anything he can get his hands on and his metabolism is scarily high so he never gains any extra weight despite the fact that if he didn't have that high metabolism he'd honestly be like 400 pounds at this point because he loves food and can't control himself 82: loves cute things 83: also loves soft and fluffy things 84: always wants to dress up his friends in cute clothes and do their hair (and their makeup if they're girls) 85: his parents have no idea he's gay but his sisters do and they're very supportive of him 86: his dad is a super strict military man so like????? He's Fucking Terrified To Tell Him 87: there's honestly never a time where he doesn’t want to go shopping 88:  you could call him at 6 am and be like "hey there's an awesome new shoe store that just opened" and he'd be pounding on your door not even fifteen minutes later like "BITCH GET YOUR COAT WE'RE GOING SHOE SHOPPING" 89: despite everything he's actually really super shy and it's really hard for him to talk to people and make friends 90: but once he trusts you he relaxes and he's able to act like himself 91: loves flowers 92: he's absolutely insufferable when he gets sick but at the same time he also apologizes profusely for being so snappish 93: once spent an entire night chained to a radiator 94: he never talks about it but he's made it very clear that he was NOT kidnapped 95: he may or may not own a whip and a tazer 96: for practical use only, of course 97: loves sweets and candy 98: when he gets excited he acts like he has ADHD and can't focus on anything 99: probably knows the lyrics to every Lady Gaga song by heart 100: in general he's a great guy and a loyal friend

[natasha-cole]

What Happens in Vegas Part 22

Rob Benedict x Reader

Chapter Summary: Rob and Reader are finally ready to tell their secrets to each other. He didn’t think that his was all that bad, but Reader’s reaction proves otherwise. Caught up in her own emotions, Reader drops a bombshell on Rob in a way that she didn’t want to.

Word Count: 4327

Warnings: swearing probably, fluff, angst

Notes: I am so sorry.

Catch Up: Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6  Part 7  Part 8  Part 9 Part 10Part 11 Part 12   Part 13  Part 14  Part 15 Part 16  Part 17  Part 18  Part 19  Part 20  Part 21

Reader’s POV

As the two of you walked back to the hotel together after dinner, he seemed concerned and had definitely noticed that something wasn’t right with you.

“Are you okay?” He asked as he slipped his jacket over your shoulders.

You were only a couple of blocks away from the hotel, and it wasn’t even a chilly night, but he still made the gesture which only made you adore him even more.

“Really,” you chuckled, “why does everyone keep asking me that?”

“Maybe because you’ve been acting strange,” he pointed out. “And there’s the fact that you kept running off to the restroom through dinner.”

“Okay,” you replied. “I’m just not feeling well is all.”

“You’re sick?”

“No. I think I’m just overly tired.”

“What do you need?” He asked as he wrapped an arm around you as the two of you walked.

“Sleep,” you smiled. “And you.”

You stopped walking, turning to face him as you wrapped your arms around his waist to pull him in.

“I’m not going to get sick if I kiss you, am I?”

You shook your head, giggling as he leaned in and kissed you softly.

“Let’s get to bed then,” he grinned as he pulled away.

He took your hand and started walking a little faster toward the hotel.

You almost told him. Again, it wasn’t the right time.

You could barely focus as he pressed up against you as you laid in bed with him. You couldn’t think straight as his hands wandered and his lips praised your bare skin.

You didn’t really know what you were waiting for. You began to question if you were in fact waiting for the right time, or if you were just too afraid to say anything at all.

He trusted you. He loved you so much that he had risked everything by being honest with you. You could have easily shot him down the moment he admitted his feelings for you. But you didn’t. You couldn’t deny something that you felt as well.

Right now, you felt that you were misleading him. Of course something like this secret you had been keeping could change everything. In actuality, you were terrified that everything the two of you had gone through and eventually figured out could be destroyed by yet another accident.

He let his hand work it’s way down, touching you in the very spot that you wanted him most. You were pulled from your thoughts by his movement, gasping at the intense pleasure that was already building within you.

This wasn’t the right time. You decided you would wait until tomorrow. You would tell him, eventually.

Saturday was more of the same.

You and Rob barely saw each other as you worked. The knowledge that you couldn’t keep holding in the secret that you had was eating at you constantly. To top it off, you still weren’t feeling well.

Briana had pulled you aside at one point in the afternoon, just to check on your progress of actually telling him the news. She looked extra disappointed when you told her that you still hadn’t said anything.

“There’s got to be the right time,” you reasoned. “A perfect time. I just haven’t found it yet.”

“Is there really a perfect time to tell your fake husband slash real life boyfriend that you’re pregnant?” She asked.

She had a point. This was not conventional. Nothing about your relationship was normal. In fact, it was still very much in the air how the two of you would actually handle things. You assumed you’d stay married; you had discussed it briefly anyway. But even you doubted that it would be the best way to go.

“Can we really keep a fake marriage together at this point?” You asked. “Are we crazy for thinking that we can really go through with being together like this?”

“I don’t have the answers for you,” she replied. “Either way, you have to tell him.”

You finished your day still with doubts. You loved him, you had come to that conclusion completely and honestly. There was no doubt in your mind about that anymore. It was the situation that still threw you for a loop. You didn’t know if you could consciously be okay with staying married like this, even if you loved each other. Marriage was a huge step that people took every day. Those people, the smart people, often took years to even come to the decision to make a relationship that permanent.

You still didn’t know Rob completely. You had known him for just over four months now, and most of that time had been spent being angry at him and the situation. Yes, you had made a point of getting to know each other, but only to a certain extent.

You hated that the two of you had skipped so many of the steps that went into creating a marriage. There had never been a first date, there had been no dating at all. You had only learned some of his quirks, and you knew that you had held back on showing him most of yours.

Thinking about it now, you realized that you never had the chance to learn him for real, and he never learned much about you.

Now, you were pregnant. You were going to have a child with a man that you were just now falling in love with, a man that you didn’t really know at all. If you were freaking out about it this much and questioning everything, you could only imagine how he would react when the time actually came for you to tell him.

Still, you knew you had to. Accident or not, he deserved to know. You could only hope that he would still be on board with this whole backwards dating idea once the truth came out.

That night, you watched Rob from the side of the stage at the concert, standing far back from the crowd of fans that had gathered there. Normally, you wouldn’t put yourself out there at all, reserving your view of the concert from backstage on a screen. Tonight though, you wanted to see him for real. You wanted to experience the band the same way that the fans did.

He was a great performer. You had always enjoyed his music and the amount of energy that the band and the rest of the cast put into the concert. It was an exhilarating feeling to actually take the time to watch it from a fans viewpoint.

Near the end of the show, you were smiling ear to ear, actually feeling proud that you could call him yours right now. For the first time, you thought that he could very well be perfect. He was handsome and kind and insanely talented. Not to mention that the sex was phenomenal.

Perhaps you could get used to this. You could very well move past your doubts and jump into this blindly with him. If you didn’t, there would certainly be a lot of other women who would be willing.

You were broken from your thoughts as Rob began to speak in between songs.

“I know that everyone knows that I’m married,” Rob began. “I also know that it’s been strange that neither of us really talk about it openly. I need to be honest about something.”

Your breath caught as he spoke. There was no way that he would blow your cover right now. Even if you thought that’s what he was doing, you tried to convince yourself that he wouldn’t do it.

“We got married on a whim,” he admitted. “And I know what people were saying about that. I can’t tell you what we were thinking exactly when it happened, but I can tell you that I love her. I always have. I loved her the moment I met her, which is why I knew I had to seal the deal.”

He glanced in your direction, even if you knew he couldn’t really see you behind the glaring lights. You breathe a sigh of relief that he wasn’t outing the two of you.

“I’m not going to avoid it any more, because I don’t care what anyone thinks about us. All I care about is that I have her with me on this crazy ride. Y/N, this one if for you.”

You grinned hard as he led the band into their next song. This time, it wasn’t a song that he had written about someone else. You hadn’t heard this one before, and as he sang through the lyrics, you realized that he had actually written it for you.

You had been waiting for the right moment to tell him the thing that you had been keeping from him. You had been holding back on purpose, waiting to see if he was being honest with you about the whole being in love thing.

The entire idea of it still scared you. Yes, you had spent some time trying to work through the things that you had both admitted to each other, and hearing him tell you those things had been a relief. Even saying the things you had wanted to say for so long was a relief. But, you had been precise in your timing without realizing it. You wanted to make sure that he really was in this with you. You had to know for sure that he cared for you before you flipped both of your lives upside down right now.

Watching him on stage right now was the moment that did it for you. He was always so vulnerable and open in times like this. Hearing him speak of you this way, hearing the words to this song; you knew you would be okay. You knew you would both be okay.

After the show, you hurried backstage to find him. You couldn’t wipe the smile off your face as you threw your arms around him and felt his lips against your skin.

“You were so great,” you said. “That song… thank you.”

“Of course,” he replied. “I’ve been keeping that a secret for a while.”

“I’m glad we decided to let go of our secrets,” you laughed. “Really though, I loved it.”

He took your hand then and led you away. You followed him toward the greenroom, taking note of the excitement that he was still buzzing with.

This was the moment. You had to tell him.

“Can I be honest with you?” He asked as you followed him to the green room.

The others had followed suit, moving into the room and subsequently starting the usual after party as you and Rob spoke.

“I’ve been wanting to be able to say all of that for so long,” he continued as he wrapped his arms around you. “It feels so good to finally say it and mean it.”

“Well, honesty does feel really good,” you chuckled.

“And there’s a lot that we need to continue to be honest about,” he said breathlessly.

“You’re absolutely right…”

Before you could say much else, he headed away from you briefly only to return with two beers. He handed one to you and you hesitantly took it, pausing as he clinked his bottle against yours, almost as if he were celebrating something.

“Thank you, but I can’t- don’t want this,” you said as you set the drink down on a nearby table.

“You sure, because you might need it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. I just- have something to tell you, and it’s maybe a bit serious.”

“Okay,” you replied, shaking your head. “Since we’re being honest with each other, there’s something I have to tell you as well…”

“Okay, and I can’t wait to hear it,” Rob cut you off. “But first, there’s something that you need to know. It’s been eating at me, and our therapist told me that I needed to tell you. It’s taken me way too long, but I just didn’t want to lose what we had.”

“Rob, now you’re scaring me,” you said, now forgetting about your news as you felt your heart drop. You wondered what could be so serious that he felt the need to tell Stephanie about it and in turn, she had told him that he needed to be honest about it with you.

“Okay,” he breathed out, “Here goes…”

He paused briefly, looking right at you almost regretfully.

“I might remember a bit more from that night than I told you.”

You took a moment to process his words. Surely you had heard him wrong. Perhaps he was talking about something else and your mind just immediately went to that night in Vegas out of habit. No way could he be announcing that he had been lying about what happened that night.

“What do you mean?” you asked carefully.

“Just- understand that my memories are still very hazy.” he explained as he suddenly became nervous..” But, I do remember you asking me to marry you.”

“Okay...”

“We were kissing, and it was intense. You asked me to marry you. I don’t know why you did it, but you did. I said yes.”

“I know, Ruth explained all of that, but I don’t remember any of it.”

“I know, but I thought you should know what I do remember.”

“Is that it? I mean, it’s not so bad,” you laughed. “I drunkenly proposed and you drunkenly accepted.”

“I remember getting the marriage license, Y/N.”

His words hit you hard. All this time, you assumed that neither of you had any recollection of that night. Now, months later he was telling you that he in fact, did remember something huge. In that moment, he could have helped the two of you completely avoid all of this, but for some reason, he chose not to.

“What?” You asked, hoping that he was just messing with you.

“I have a pretty clear memory of that moment. I know Ruth was there and I argued with her when she tried to stop us.”

“She said we were wasted and we didn’t know what we were doing…”

“And we were. But, I do remember some of it.”

“What do you remember exactly?” You asked, your voice rising as you became upset.

“I remember thinking that I needed to stop what we were doing,’ he said softly. “Then I remember just letting it happen. I should have stopped it when we got to the chapel, but I didn’t.”

“So, you were completely aware of what we were doing?” You asked, now feeling the sting of tears building up.

He nodded, ashamed now that he was admitting it out loud.

“Why did you let it happen?” You asked angrily. “How could you be aware that something like that was happening, and not stop it?”

“It was the way you looked at me that night. As if I was everything to you. You told me you loved me and that you wanted to marry me.”

“I was drunk,” you spat. “I didn’t know what I was doing.”

“I know. Neither did I to an extent. I knew I should have stopped it right then, but I didn’t want to. I think a part of me just thought it was a joke. I didn’t think it was serious.”

You let out a frustrated sigh, covering your face with your hands.

“What do you mean you thought it was a joke?!” You shouted. “How could getting a marriage license be a joke to you?”

“I just- wasn’t thinking…”

You wanted to be hearing him wrong. You wanted to pretend that he hadn’t said anything, especially given your current situation. You dropped your hands from your face to look at him, tears welling in your eyes as you felt sick upon seeing his face.

“How could you?” You shouted. “You knew what we were doing, and you let it happen?”

“I thought we liked each other,” he replied. “We hit it off that night, and I was so into you. I thought you were into me as well.”

“I was! But, I knew you for one day! I didn’t want to marry you!”

Your sudden shouting had gained the attention of everyone else in the room and you blushed as they looked toward you and Rob. You didn’t want to do this here, not in front of them. You were humiliated now, and you wanted to disappear.

“I realize I made a mistake,” he admitted. “I’ve felt terrible about it ever since.”

“You feel terrible?” You shouted. “You convinced me to stay married to you. You came to me and made me feel like it was my fault, like I was the one who was going to be ruined if people found out what we did.”

“Please, know that I just wasn’t thinking straight that night.”

“You just told me that you knew what was happening as it was happening! You let it happen!”

“I know. I was an idiot. I don’t have an explanation as to why I let it happen.”

“I- I can’t believe this-“ you cried as you ran your hands through your hair in disbelief.

How someone could be aware of something like this and still let it happen was beyond you. You didn’t know what to believe right now and your head began to spin as you tried to make sense of it. Had he really just not realized what was going on? Or, did he just consciously choose to let it happen for some other messed up reason?

“Once I realized what I had done, I knew we couldn’t end it. If we had ended it right away, we both would have looked bad.”

“No! You would have looked bad! You would have been the one to look like an asshole for knowingly marrying a drunk girl.”

“I was just… thinking of both of us.”

“You were thinking of yourself!” You sobbed. “How could you do this? You let me go on believing that you were just as lost as I was. You blamed Ruth for everything,” you cried as you pointed toward her. Everyone was watching still. You could feel their judgemental stares as you came undone just now. “And then you made me believe that you were in love with me.”

“Okay, I made a lot of mistakes, but don’t ever think for one second that I don’t love you…”

In an instant, his fear over your reaction had changed. Now he was serious as he used those words again, as if reminding you that he loved you was going to fix this gigantic fuck up that he had just admitted to.

“Why?” You asked again. “I can’t understand why…”

“I have my reasons for keeping that from you for as long as I did,” he replied. “I just didn’t want to lose you.”

“You’re doing this so that we’ll stay married,” you said softly as the realization hit you. The painful truth was out in the open now, apparently for everyone to witness. “You’re so set on not getting divorced again and looking like an idiot, you convinced me that you cared about me so that I’d stay married to you.”

“That’s not true-“ he began.

You noticed the way tears welled in his own eyes at your accusations. You wanted to believe that he did love you. You so desperately wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. You couldn’t rationally do that though; not when you understood that he had probably lied to you about being in love with you so that he could avoid being divorced again.

“You’re an asshole,” you said, choking out a sob as you turned from him. You made your way for the exit, feeling a pain in your chest as you made sense of all of this.

“Y/N, wait!” He called out to you. “Please, can we just talk about this? I made a mistake, I never meant to hurt you.”

“I had something that I needed to tell you,” you replied as you turned to face him one last time. “And you just destroyed everything.”

“I didn’t mean to-“

“What did you think you would accomplish by telling me this now? Why did you tell me that you loved me?”

“Because I do,” he said in frustration. “I told you the truth because I fell in love with you. At the time, I was just too afraid to bring it up.”

“You made me look like an idiot. All along, this was your fault, but you made me believe that it was mine.”

“It wasn’t until I realized how much I cared about you that I knew I had to say something. I couldn’t go on holding that secret in anymore.”

“You should have! You should have just ignored it and let me go on believing that you actually loved me.”

“Stop saying that,” he said sharply. “Stop acting as if I lied to you about that.”

“Didn’t you?” You asked as you wiped tears from your face.

“No. I never lied about that,” he said calmly, almost believably. “Y/N, does it really matter now?”

“What?” You asked, honestly confused by what he meant.

“We love each other,” he said, forcing a smile as he held your face in his hands. “Please, don’t let that one fuck up ruin what we have.”

“You lied to me,” you argued as you pulled away from his touch. “You lied about something huge, for months. How do I know that you haven’t been lying to me this entire time about everything else?”

“I never lied about anything else. I guess you’re right that, at the time, I should have said something. I know I should have, and I’ve hated myself every day for the fact that I allowed that to happen. But it doesn’t matter now, does it?”

You shook your head in disbelief, wondering how he could be so convinced that it was unimportant now. You were angry. He had lied to you this entire time about something that completely changed everything.

You noticed your friends again. None of them had moved or even took a breath during this entire thing. You and Rob had just told them that you were together as a real couple. You had explained to them that you had always been in love with each other. Now, they were watching it all fall apart just because Rob had lied to you about something serious.

You wanted to believe him when he insisted that he loved you. You loved him, and you wanted for this to be real.

Glancing around at everyone else, you felt like an idiot. Rob had blatantly lied to you. He had been the one person who really could have averted this whole thing from happening, and he had chose not to. Although you thought that it had been an accident, you understood that it had been a lie. Everything about this had been a lie.

“I can’t look at you right now,” you muttered. “This… whatever this is… it’s over. I want a divorce, and I want it immediately.”

“Y/N, come on,” he pleaded. “I thought we decided that we’d just go with it. We said we’d stay married while we went through this relationship.”

“What relationship?” You shouted. You let the tears fall freely now, the frustration and devastation taking over. “The one that was a complete lie from the beginning? You walked right into this, knowing what we were doing, and you took advantage of me. I’m not an idiot. I know what you were trying to do here.”

“You’re wrong,” he began.

You were already reaching for the door with every intention of walking away from him before you got really pissed. You had nothing else to say to him. The one thing that you had wanted to bring up was the last thing on your mind as you tried to make sense of the fact that he had kept something like this from you.

“Y/N, please… I never meant to hurt you.”

“You should have just kept it to yourself,” you said as tears fell down your face.

“Honesty,” he blurted out. “Isn’t this whole thing supposed to be about honesty now?”

“You’re right,” you replied flatly. “We’ve both been very dishonest with each other.”

“I’m just trying to do the right thing.”

“The right thing would have been to not let this happen at all.”

“Please,” he begged. “What we have-“

“Is an accident!” You cut him off, not wanting to hear any more. “This was always a mistake and I was an idiot for thinking otherwise.”

“Please, don’t-“ he breathed out.

“Since we’re on the topic of accidents,” you began. “Here’s another one for you…”

You paused only briefly, wondering if you should even say anything at this point. It sounded cruel in your head, and no matter how badly you wanted to hurt him right now, you didn’t want to do it this way. Regardless, you spoke before you could piece together your thoughts.

“I’m pregnant.”

You swear you could hear a collective gasp from everyone that had inadvertently stopped what they were doing to watch this mess unfold. You saw Rob’s face drop and you felt your own heart drop as the words left your mouth.

You felt an ache in your chest as the words came out, devastated that you were telling him this way. Even more, you were devastated that it had even happened now that you knew what you knew.

“How’s that for honesty?” You said coldly as you turned from him again.

You never did look back at him. You ignored the stares of your friends still, painfully aware that they had witnessed enough disappointment when it came to you and Rob. Instead, you held back your sobs as you stepped out the door and slammed it behind you.

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