#but locally a whole lot of people don't make it to 27

[butch-reidentified]

Tomorrow (Tuesday for those in varying time zones) is my birthday!! It's also a special birthday in the community I'm from for some dark and depressing reasons I won't get into in the main post, but it's a big celebration, and my friends are planning something for memorial day weekend for me 🥰

[foone]

I spent a while on red-27 which is a decently world to hang out on most of the time. They've got a mostly unified socialist world and aren't worried about immigration so you can totally just show up and hang out without needing fake ID or anything and you can get by without local currency for a long time, since most stuff is free (they've got one of those monetary systems where money is used for luxuries, not necessities: so you can grab a sandwich at the deli for nothing, but if you want to get a big meal at a fancy diner, you pay for that.)

But the annoying thing is that, because of their MLMY roots, they don't really believe in a lot of mental illnesses? And it's worse because they're also very much against stimulants.

So sure, it's nice to take a break from living in capitalism, but eventually I gotta come back to a world that can sell me Adderall, you know? My brain doesn't work.

(they've got historical reasons for this: some Incidents between ww2 and the former US going socialist means they think of stimulants as being a drug you give to your forced labor workforce to make them work harder. Free citizens of a socialist society don't need to be pushed harder, it's a whole "from each according to their ability, to each according to their need" thing: it's bad to try to make people more productive by dosing them with stimulants. Which, I mean, is valid if you're talking about a theocracy dosing their slaves with near-meth, but I think my ADHD situation is a little different, you know?)

I need to find somewhere else I can hang out on, without this issue. And no, Yellow-14 is not an option. They're maybe a much nicer socialist world to hang out in terms of being able to get the medicines you need, but they're not a terribly safe place to hang out on if you're gay or trans. Which is kinda darkly hilarious considering you can get hormones at your local pharmacy for free, no questions asked?

[darksideofthemoonbot]

Slaanesh

As I previously covered my favourite chaos god, Nurgle, I thought I'd go on to my second favourite: Slaanesh. Not my favourite but the one I relate to the most. Fair warning, this gets personal and not especially amusing. Rather dark actually.

For context to start: I have chronic pain, fibromyalgia stemming from childhood trauma, since I was nine years old. I also have significant mental health issues for which I get therapy and medication. I have only been treated for the chronic pain for a few years, after about 27 years of literal constant torture by my own nervous system.

I understand obsession and chasing the next sensation. Of extremes of passion and self destructive indulgences. I self medicated in various ways for a long time. I am also, as I joke sometimes, a "recovering yandere". I've had times where I've become so obsessed with someone I only know online, that I spent the entire day staring at a message screen waiting for a reply, despite them probably being at work or otherwise busy; because interacting with them was the only thing that mattered and gave my life purpose. New sensations, greater sensations, were always needed to escape the torture chamber of my body.

On a lighter note: on to the circles of seduction

Avidity – I grew up in the 80s and 90s, when "greed is good" was really taking hold in public consciousness. Despite that, this temptation has rarely been much of a love of mine. I collect sins as a hobby but my desire for money has not generally been for money's sake, more on that later.

Gluttony – for so long, food was more an annoyance to me than anything. The suffering drowned out any enjoyment so it was merely a tedious habit I had to partake in to survive.

However! Now that I am getting treatment, I can enjoy things again. And the lack of familiarity with pleasure from food makes it so intense sometimes! Most recently I had a peanut butter and strawberry jelly sandwich on generic store-bought whole wheat bread. It was so good. Unbelievably good. My mouth tingled so much it tickled and I almost had to stop eating. The savoury all natural peanut butter, the sweet tang of the jelly, and the soft squishy texture of the bread. Oh dear gods it was heavenly.

Carnality – this seems to be what people first think of when they think of Slaanesh, which to people not on the ace spectrum is probably obvious. For a long time I thought I was ace. No interest, in fact I was hostile to the idea due to trauma. But trauma response is not the same as being ace, and it turns out I am not. Very not. Switch/vers, bi. And in a committed relationship of 24 years with a partner who has no complaints, heh.

Paramountcy – power, control, influence. These are a heady wine for many. I have considered running for local office, school board or something, with ambitions to perhaps state level. Not that I have the means, I am regrettably disabled and the demands of power are too much for me. Doesn't stop me dreaming. And thinking I am more worthy than others to wield such power. Perhaps foolishly.

Vainglory – remember greed above? This is where it gets me. I don't want money for money sake; I want it for all the good I could do with it. Buy and forgive debt. Start businesses that pay better and sell lower. Scholarships. Political influence to improve people's lives materially. Providing food to those in need free of charge. Building low/no rent but well maintained housing. Just do a whole lot of good with vast fortunes. Because then people will love me, cherish me, praise me for my largesse kindness. I will be invited to all the public events, have hospitals named after me, get messages of gratitude from all those I've helped. To be worshipped, in a secular way, for my use of my money. And yet remain rich, for after a certain threshold money compounds upon itself indefinitely.

Indolency – here's the circle where I die. I am... so tired. Decades of misery have drained me. Medications sap my energy even as they reduce my pain. I've had long swathes of time where I'd go to bed around 21:00 and sleep until 10:00. And then nap in the afternoon. Napping in fact was my chief hobby for many years. I didn't know relaxation until recently, as I was always tense; trying to hold myself up so less of me was pressed on a surface, because it hurt. I still struggle to relax and let a bed or chair hold me up without my effort. It is an alien sensation, frightful in a way, as though I will fall through the world if I let go.

The Palace of Pleasure – no line uncrossed, no barrier unbroken, no debasement too low, no extreme too high. Worry not, dear reader, I do in fact have scruples. But I relate to the notion well. After half a lifetime of senses dulled by endless unchanging aches and an unbalanced mind, I yearn. I yearn for all those experiences that many take for granted. The joy of a sandwich, the thrill of minor ambition, the softness of restorative rest. Pleasure. It isn't what I expected. I imagined pleasure as a passive feeling, a relaxation and untroubled feeling. A soothing of the pain, I couldn't imagine more. Yet it is more than that. It feels very much like the opposite of pain, an intense and sometimes stabbing sensation. A good one. Like a pain but you want to experience it. Pleasure can be so good and so intense, a mirror of what life used to be.

And I want more.

[solradguy]

Mr. Rad Guy, I've wanted to get your opinion on something for a while now, and finally snagged what I was looking for on twitter. I normally don't pay any of those transphobic Bridget discourse peddlers any mind, but they bring up her appearence in the canon pachinko game Vastege as supposed "proof" that Strive's story direction for her is a contradictory retcon. This game's plot takes place just three months before Xrd's, and they claim that through her voicelines she is still insisting sternly that she's a man and not to call her cute, but also that she STILL hasn't broken her village's superstition at this point in time. This is the only image they ever have as so-called evidence, so I wanted to see if you know if these lines are legitimately in the game, scrapped content, or made up altogether. I don't trust these lunatics as far as I can throw them when it comes to telling the whole truth 🤨

This screenshot is from same manuscript of dialog that is in the lore server archives and in the GG VXT archive pack that I compiled and uploaded to Archive.org. As far as I know, these lines were all used in the game and no unused lines have been (or even could be) datamined. Two of the lines here are highlighted so I'm assuming they're the ones these dorks are using to try to prove their point. I've translated them.

First line:

I want to break the village's rule/law*, and return to the village as a young man.

*In the official localizations I think they might translate this as "tradition" or "superstition" instead of rule or law.

"Young man" in that line is 男の子 (otokonoko). Do not let anyone convince you Bridget is using the other otokonoko there (男の娘；"young man with a feminine aesthetic"). They like to do that a lot, argue that it's the one that uses 娘.

Second line:

Cute is uncalled for... I'm a man.

In conclusion: Yes. Bridget is using almost 1:1 recycled dialog in Vastedge that she used in XX and the spinoffs. The Twitter grifters' Google Translating was correct this time.

Vastedge's plot may take place only 3 months before Xrd, but Vastedge itself came out in 2013—8 entire years before Strive released in 2021. A lot can change in 3 months in real life, but after almost a decade most people are entirely different altogether (wrt Daisuke and his plot decisions). Also it's a friggin pachislot machine lmfao Like, are people really expecting something as earth shattering as a character as irrelevant to the general plot like Bridget suddenly stopping all of the action to explore her identity on a slot machine? I have no patience for these people anymore. They're just stupid and arguing because they have no hobbies.

There's also the fact that Daisuke originally planned for Bridget to be a cis girl until the very last minute. So if anything her coming out in Strive was just returning to the starting concept. He mentions this in the interview in the back of Artworks of Guilty Gear X 2000-2004. Translation by fairymisao.

(27)---The character Bridget, introduced in Guilty Gear XX, looks like a girl but is actually a boy, right? What was your intention in deciding on creating this kind of character? Ishiwatari: The creation of Bridget as a boy happened at the very last second; during development I was drawing him as purely a girl. It's just that when there is a need to give a worldly backbone (to the game), in order for me to try to not forget each character, and in order to revive the character, I give them my very heart. As a result, the creation of Bridget as actually a boy instead of a girl was because I thought he could become my alter ego. [...]

It's also important to note that Vastedge was the first thing ASW made for Guilty Gear after getting the full rights to the IP back from Sega after the Sega-Sammy merger in 2011 (which they had started to lose a bit before Overture's release in 2004). They were absolutely more focused on making something that would generate income and looked flashy than they were a compelling cinematic experience.

[austin-in-taiwan]

June 27 - Tai Tung  - Rice museum, hotpot, Prehistoric museum, pet pig

Today was our first day back on schedule since the typhoon and our first and last day in Tai Tung. Yesterday, we spent the whole day traveling up to Taipei from Yilan, down from the bullet train to Kaohsiung and then took our bus to Yilan. We traveled more than 270 miles in total and got back late! 

The first thing we did was take the bus to a rice museum. There are tons of excellent-quality rice farms in Taiwan. It was raining all day, so the museum could have been better, but we got to shop at the rice store, look at some exhibits, and check out the view from the top of the building.

Next, we went to get hotpot for lunch. This was different from the hot pot I already had in Taiwan because everyone got their own pot, broth, and meat. It was really delicious. I got the spiciest one on the menu, but it wasn't that spicy at all. 

Then, we drove through the "green tunnel," a road with lush green trees and bushes around and overhead the street. 

Our last stop as a group was the Prehistoric Museum. It has a history of native people of Taiwan and surrounding islands (Somoa, Philippines). It was fascinating, and I really enjoyed learning more about the Aboriginals. Afterward, at the gift shop, I learned about these aboriginal bracelets with different lucky charms according to a local Taiwanese tribe. I got the one for intelligence!

After that, we stopped at a convenience store and ended up at the hotel. A small group of us wanted to eat something other than ramen or sandwiches from 711 again, so we decided to walk down the street and check out restaurants nearby. There was little nearby since we are in a very rural area. However, we did find one restaurant, and it was delicious. I got the fried rice. However, it wasn't the restaurant that made this place really good; it was the pet pig out front (check photos below)!

Academic Reflection

I learned many things throughout my day in rural Taiwan. Firstly, on our way to the rice museum, Peter told the group some interesting facts about the rice culture in Taiwan. Rice is one of the most produced crops here in Taiwan. However, recently, the youth has begun to eat more and more bread and wheat as their source of carbs, which makes Taiwan import more wheat (because they don't produce it here) and takes business away from the rice farmers. As a result, Taiwan is encouraging everyone to eat more rice. This was very interesting. 

I learned the most today at the Prehistoric Museum. To give some context on why this museum was "prehistoric," Taiwan only started to record its history about 400 years ago, So anything 500 years or older is considered "prehistoric." There were so many interesting exhibits from many tribes, but I found a few things the most noteworthy. The first was about the prevalence of Jade. While in Taiwan, I have seen lots of Jade and even bought some myself. Prehistorically, the Aboriginal people found Jade very important and even buried themselves with their jade jewelry and jade weapons/tools. Next, I was interested in learning about how the Yami/Tao had specific rules about the consumption of fish. For example, some fish could only be eaten by men, some couldn't be eaten by women within 2 years of giving birth, etc. 

[fountainpenguin]

Riddle's Traffictober - Batch 4

The final Traffictober one-shots are up on my AO3! Happy November!

Full series - Find full list and tags here

Batch 1 Post - Traffictobers 1 to 7

Batch 2 Post - Traffictobers 8 to 14

Batch 3 Post - Traffictobers 15 to 21

These are Gen and T-rated Traffic SMP fanfics (one-shots) of various lengths. Give 'em a look if you think you may enjoy:

22 - “The Children of Dust and Ashes” (Link) - [NW AU] - 16-year-old Scott is caught off guard when his bandmate Impulse gets possessed by the soul of an ancient builder who really, really liked cherry wood. Impulse hurls Scott's axe off a cliff.

Secret Life - Neighborhood Watch AU retelling of Secret Life Episode 1 for Gem & The Scotts... The trio are 16 and Skizz is 18, and they take shelter after witnessing a zombie outbreak in a nearby village.

23 - “Blurring the Lines” (Link) - Young Scar reflects on his life in the Clocker family... and works through his feelings about his mom's new "soulmate" and his dad's new "fishing buddy."

Limited Life - A Scar-centric contemporary suburban AU [No death game] based around the Clocker family, with references to events and roleplay from the other Life series.

This was my first take on Neighborhood Watch AU, but it's just a standalone now. Still cute and seems to be a fan favorite, which I'm satisfied with <3

24 - “Hey Mumbo wtf?” (Link) - Since eating Grian's soul, Mumbo's started growing gemstone wings. Local wing admirer of an ex-husband can't help but notice.

Server Hub - On the 288th anniversary of Netty's last logout, the Bad Boys cheer Martyn with a night on the town. On his way out, he crosses paths with Mumbo for the first time since they roleplayed as husbands on Last Life. Affectionately awkward reunions are had.

Also a study in making settings feel alive and populated. Pretty happy with it!

25 - “You Can Sleep While I Drive” (Link) - Drabbles about one member of each Double Life soulmate pair watching the other sleep.

Double Life - Cozy beds in the napping story, where everyone is sleeping. It's a whole lot of fluff, unless you're Impulse threatening to get your husband TP'd to the other side of the map or you're Scott who's convinced his soulmate is cheating on him.

26 - “Dear Future Captain” (Link) - Bdubs and Martyn try teaching SnifferMyFeet how to fly. This is followed by Martyn filing an incident report because he ripped out Jellie's soul and came this close to dropping her in the Void.

Server Hub - I don't really have a good reason for this one- I just enjoy phantom hybrid flock drama and it made me laugh. Chapter 1 is up now and it will be 2 or 3 in total.

27 - “Enter Mr. Littlewood” (Link) - [NW AU] The Clocker kids pester Martyn with questions... most notably, "Are you divorced?" and "If you're Mom's 'one true soulmate,' how come she had us with Etho?"

Neighborhood Watch AU - Direct sequel to "Scary Stories For Young Fox Hybrids."

28 - “Birdwatcher” (Link) - Grian has an affair that flicks his soul wings on. Scar confronts him and Grian whips out the gaslighting. A confused Scar picks up the pieces left behind.

Double Life - Grian and Scar aren't dating. They're just soulmates. Grian is quick to remind Scar about this. It's not cheating to pursue other options when you're just roommates, right? Geez...

This one's a particular favorite; I love the motion and dialogue <3

29 - “Wake Me Up When Last Life Ends” (Link) - Scott works late and misses dinner. Again. He and Jimmy have a serious talk about their relationship.

Break up with the server hub admin at your own risk (ft. Mean Gals movie night).

30 - “The Leftovers” (Link) - Martyn and Cleo spend the night at Box, which - by law and by will - is now their base. Martyn makes one last appeal urging Cleo to take him back. Cleo sets him straight.

Double Life - I write a lot about pixel people phasing through each other because they don't have love hearts / hitbox collision. Now that we're at the end of Traffictober, here's a fluffy story about Cleo purposely eating golden carrots so she can carry a sleeping Martyn down the stairs.

I've been wanting to write this one since before I started Traffictober, but kept pushing it off... It came out better than I could have hoped and it's definitely a personal favorite. "You don't even know me" Cleo, my beloved <3

31 - “Closed Door Policy” (Link) - Two naked and scared individuals seek shelter at a non-anarchy server hub. One is a soul ripped out of his own body. The other is a dragon.

Pre-Canon - A glimpse at the early days of the New Star Station portal hub. Scott helps Etho take in two injured refugees... Chapter 1 is up, will probably be 3 or 4 chapters total.

My Traffictober challenge is complete at 226k words! I think my October writing comes out to be 250k if we include the Dog's Life chapter updates too. I'm really proud of what I've done and it's great to have a win under my belt after not feeling my best for a while.

Happy with it, back to our regularly scheduled programming soon, and I hope you all enjoyed! 💚 💛 ❤️

[emma-gallaghers]

[EMMA ROSSI. 27. CISFEMALE. SHE/HER] is here! They’ve lived in Asbury Park for [HER WHOLE LIFE] and are originally from [ASBURY]. They are a [WAITRESS AT SUNSET DINER] and in their downtime love [LATE NIGHT DRIVES] and [SNEAKING INTO CONCERTS]. They look a lot like [ELLA PURNELL] and live in [SUNCREST]. The song that makes people think of them the most is [CASUAL BY CHAPPELL ROAN]. (ooc: a, 30, she/her, central)

THE BASICS:

FULL NAME: emma ann rossi

NICKNAMES: em, emmie, rossi

GENDER & PRONOUNS: cis woman & she/her

AGE & BIRTHDAY: 27 & august 21

BIRTHPLACE: asbury, nj

+ TRAITS: self assured, confident, charismatic

- TRAITS: moody, blunt, apathetic

RESIDENCE: a small house in suncrest

OCCUPATION: works at the all night diner as a waitress

LINKS: pinterest / playlist / tasks - coming soon

BACKGROUND & DETAILS:

Emma Ann Gallagher was born to Teresa and Donny Rossi, a happily married couple who came from a long line of Italians who many years ago immigrated to the states, settling in Asbury. Emma, the only and highly wanted daughter of a beauty queen Teresa spent many of Emma's formative years dressing her daughter like a doll, putting her in every child pageant in the area, and took every compliment her daughter got as if it was a compliment for herself. At a very young age Emma learned the importance of her beauty, and how she could use it to her advantages. She spent the next formative years growing up being very dedicated to her looks, to being the best, to being that girl that every girl wanted to be. Her outfits always were always pristinely picked out, her make up done multiple times until it was up to her standards of perfect. It Middle school all throughout high school was Emma's time to shine, she excelled at moving herself to the center of the popular group. She joined the cheer team always front and center, got herself invited to every part, even the ones thrown by the seniors. As her popularity grew so did her desire to be the best, she craved that attention the looks she got in the halls the whispers of envy like a drug to her. Her popularity quickly became the most important thing in her life. Despite her social life climbing to new highs hiding behind closed doors were some of the most painful times of her life were also happening. Her father had been caught having a decade long affair in which he had decided to leave both her mom and her for. She still remembered how mad she was that him packing up his car caused her perfectly applied eyeliner to run. It was after that day that she refused to show anyone just how badly she was hurt. If after all her best attempts she wasn't good enough for her dad she decided it would be his loss. She spent her remaining years in high school doing everything she could to maintain her spot as queen bee. She threw more parties, she flirted with more football players, she didn't care if people were gossiping as long as the were talking about her. When she graduated it was clear that her grades and overall lack of care in studies made getting into any school other than the community college. It had took less than a semester of CC to realize her queen bee status would not be following her. Dropping out and getting a job at the local diner she has been a little lost ever since. She has been kind of floating through life, still living as if she was the popular 14 year girl all those years ago.

POTENTIAL CONNECTIONS:

past friendships from high school, frenemies, or straight up people who didn't like her

someone from her past who saw a softer side to her, even though it can be buried a little deep so good luck bestie.

people who she parties with, who honestly she keeps at a surface level, you've seen me drunk you don't know me

exes, either from high school or recent

booty calls !

honestly anything & everything ??

[quotidian-oblivion]

AO3 Anniversary!!

Hello hello!

SO.

On 15th of September, today, we have approached my official 1 year anniversary on ao3. That was the day when I first joined ao3. 21st of September was when I posted my first fic "A Day In The Life Of Tim Drake" which was just an excuse to not have an empty account. I wasn't completely sure whether or not I would be continuing on writing fics, but one day, I saw a fic that resonated within my heart. And so I decided "Hey, why not make my own?" And I set out to write "Sometimes You Have To Find Your Own Genes". So my first "official" fic was a 20-chapter novel-length fic.

But anyways, after finishing that, I thought to myself "That worked so nice, why not try it twice?" and wrote the fic which you might all be more familiar to: My School's Local Mafia Boss (AKA mmb which was an abbreviation @cygnusdoesthings coined standing for "mini mafia boss" fic) and its two series Let Them Be Brothers and Mafia Files.

From there, everything exploded and created a gateway which I stumbled through to a whole new world. And boy oh boy is it wonderful.

I've met... a lot of people through those fics. And so many of them are just absolute charms. It's crazy to think that around a 150 people get notified when I post. I've grown as an individual so much over the year. I've also realized a few things about myself too... a bunch of issues 😅 Hey, i can't be a full ao3 writer without having a fair share of the curse. To all those people who've stuck by me though... thank you. So much. I don't know how to describe.

I'm gonna continue writing fics. I like it. I love it. It helps me (and sometimes others) in more ways than one. So I'm going to keep writing. I have... soo many wips. And I'm co-writing with and beta-ing for a bunch of super cool totally awesome writers too! They're so cool.

But I want to celebrate. I wanted to do Something Special TM for this. So I asked people on ao3 on the Not All Good Things Come In Packages work to give me one (1) dialogue or line to put in a fic and i was pleased to see that a lot of people were interested!

And so, i have finally written the fic. Connected by the many contributions from various people, I present to you, the batkids learning about Bruce's days from ages 0-27 from Alfred: Greet Me With Open Arms.

Enjoy!

[finchinmoria]

LOTR characters at Pride 🏳‍🌈

(A little silly and out of character but aren't we all.)

(Also, I headcannon them all queer but left out my specifics so they could be read how anyone wants them to be.)

Speak friend and enter the pride fest:

Frodo, Sam, Rosie and Rosie's girlfriend/theyfriend (Who? You? Me? Reader's choice!) are a powerhouse polycule with a YouTube channel. Even though Frodo made a list of events they were going to hit, they keep getting sidetracked by fans who want to talk and take selfies. So they mostly just wander and enjoy the day. Sam does have a backpack full of necessities to keep everyone comfortable and makes sure everyone, even complete strangers, are wearing enough sunscreen.

Arwen and Aragorn may not be 👑royalty👑 in this timeline, but are still pretty high profile so they keep it pretty open and casual. They set up all day in a shady spot at the public square on a bench with blankets laid out on the grass so they can talk with anyone who passes by. It's the pit stop for their friends to come cool off or relax when they need a break. Arwen brings a bag full of hair supplies and makeup so people can come in for touch ups throughout the day. She can do anyone's pride flag eyeshadow look flawlessly in under two minutes. (So could Aragorn, probably.)

Pippin's main goal is to eat something from every single food truck, deli, and coffee shop in the area. He says it's so he can post actual helpful reviews but he ends up only posting one Instagram reel where he speaks incoherently with a mouthful of vegan chili fries and that's it. Takes a bunch of pictures of different food items with different pride flags but forgets about them and doesn't post them until September.

Merry will buy from every single vendor at every event. You have flags? T-shirts? Jewelry? Art? He's going to buy one of each from every artist and organization. (He then donates most of the things he buys to the local lgbtq community center.)

Boromir doesn't want to wander around too much by himself because it's his first pride, but sticking with Merry and Pippin means he becomes responsible for carrying all their stuff. Within an hour he's absolutely covered in merch with three tote bags on each arm. He knows his flag is one of the 27 he now has hanging on or tucked in every available space on his body but if you asked him which one it was he would have to ask Merry. Pippin does keep him hydrated at least, a new flavor of iced lemonade always appears in his hand whenever the last one runs out.

Éowyn and Faramir run the table for the local non-profit advocacy group that educates citizens on important legislation that impacts the queer community. They can explain the details of different bills and current issues being tracked in the legal system, organize volunteer groups for different causes, and hook people in need up with outreach and activist organizations.

Gimli and Legolas disappear on June 1st and don't emerge again until the month is over. People will catch glimpses of them pretty much everywhere, and when they do there is always either a lot of glitter or alcohol involved (and let's be honest, most of the time both). No one can figure out how they managed to be on multiple floats in the same parade but after a while no one questions it. 

Haldir saw once a long time ago that some orientations weren't represented very well and has been on a mission to rectify that ever since. Even though things have gotten better, he now always has a table where he gives away stuff for the underrepresented identities. He's got all the genderqueer flags, tons of neopronoun pins, and whole decks of cards with just aces in them. If you're demi or flux or anything else not widely represented, Haldir's got you.

Gandalf loves the drag shows but since they are all either outside or in very crowded loud clubs, he usually hits one then spends the rest of his time in a very air conditioned, quieter, industrial style bar with elder queers and some bears.

Bilbo coordinates all the literary events like the queer banned books mobile, drag story times, poetry readings, and elder queer panels. Definitely tells his own activist stories from back in the day to anyone who will listen (and many do!)

Elrond goes just to check things out for an hour or two, but ends up having the time of his life and signing up to drive the queer banned books mobile for the rest of the summer. 

Happy pride, everyone! 🌈

[offsidekineticist]

For Theoven my cutie (as KC or not, up to you):

7. Do they have any unusual fears?7

27. Has a chance encounter ever had an unexpected effect on them?

49. Do they have trouble keeping their enemies and their friends straight?

Oh these are good...I'll probably answer for both unless it applies significantly more to one than the other.

CW: succubus dominate person; discussion of torture and chronic pain/injury

7. KC Theoven is terrified of succubi. That first battle where he was "killed" involved him falling under the thrall of one. On top of all the usual reasons that would be traumatic, he usually has zero interest in sex. So the whole experience amounted to having his sexual orientation forcibly changed and weaponized against him. So, yeah, he doesn't like succubi.

This mainly results in him having a "kill on sight" policy for succubi. This makes Arue very sad. It also makes the Abyss even more stressful for Theo because wait we need the help of who now??

Non-KC Theoven's big fear is of people touching or handling his hands. They never healed right after the Order of the Rack's interrogations during his incarceration, so they don't quite work right and cause him a lot of pain. They could probably be improved with surgery, but the idea of someone rebreaking his fingers, even to heal them, sends him into a panic.

27. Non-KC Theoven adopted Harper and Mayhew because of a chance encounter! Harper is a halfling tiefling and Mayhew is a halfling duskwalker. Neither were likely to survive long in Cheliax, so the Bellflower Network smuggled them out. They were found together, and Mayhew refused to be parted from his "baby sister" (they're not related in the slightest), so the local Bellflower facilitators were sitting at their coffeeshop HQ, kind of at a loss about what to do, because maybe they could find someone willing to adopt a tiefling or a duskwalker, but they weren't confident they'd find someone who would take both.

Enter Theo. He just walked across half the city so he could surprise Giliys with breakfast from his favorite coffeeshop (it's not actually his favorite; Giliys just keeps his Bellflower activities on the DL cuz Theo's been skittish since being, y'know, arrested and tortured). And the second Mayhew sees this pale gnome walk in, he loses his mind (by duskwalker standards) about how "he's just like me!" because they're both pale and colorless, not naturally emotive, and "came back different" from death or near-death (not clear how he could tell that last part, but Theo doesn't question it). Mayhew's temporary caretakers are apologizing and trying to get him to quiet down (which in and of itself is strange because they could barely get two words out of him before), but he just won't stop talking:

"This is my sister Harper! She didn't have a name when I found her so I had to give her one. She doesn't do anything yet except cry and eat and poo. And bite - her teeth are sharp because she looks like a baby tiger! You can't see it because she's wrapped up snug in her blanket, but she even has a tail! So she's pretty cool even though she can't talk."

And Theo, who is completely charmed, is like "so who's going to be their parent?" And the Bellflower agents are like "...the orphanage, probably?"

So Giliys - who was at home sleeping while all this was happening - wakes up to breakfast from "his favorite coffeeshop" and Theo (who just ran halfway across the city) begging him to be OK with adopting 2 kids, one of whom is an infant. And normally he'd be like "lol, no, I'd be an awful dad," but it's the most invested Theo has been in anything since his arrest forced him into exile (so literally years), and Theo has already raised one kid to adulthood by himself (her name is Qweck), so he's like "...yes, fine, let me get dressed and we can go get Theoven Junior and his baby tiger sister."

(Giliys likes to joke that it was Mayhew that did all the adopting, which...isn't entirely wrong. Giliys also proves to be much better with Harper in the first couple of years than Theo because Theo has no clue what to do with kids before they understand the concept of literacy)

49. Every version of Theo in every timeline has trouble with this one, lol. He tends to put a lot of stock in first impressions - Greybor made a bad first impression by acting smug immediately after an obviously stupid (to Theo) plan failed, so he hates him forever; Nurah talked to him about books and history when he really needed a distraction from holy shit the queen made me knight-commander, so he ignored warning signs and suspicious behavior.

Non-KC Theo is a little more cautious in his judgments, but he also is more trusting in some ways because he's moved past his abandonment issues, so he's more willing to be vulnerable with other people. Basically he's aware of the possibility of betrayal but choosing to trust anyway because he wants to believe in people.

[lol-jackles]

https://twitter.com/soldierjackles/status/1603806100108853256

Louden Swain is going to be on the next episode of The Winchesters!!!! #spnnash #nashcon

And the stunt casting continues. Maybe crap like this is part of why TW if expensive (on top of all the reshoots which I'm sure cost a lot...). Instead of hiring some nice local band and giving them some attention, they paid to fly in Louden Swain and put them up to have them in the show for 5 secs. Usually bands on shows are background or only briefly featured... I wonder if they'll get a whole little segment to themselves (help fill up all that time they usually fill by making the actors run around accomplishing nothing)? I mean, if the Tom W and Gil M stunt casting didn't do anything for ratings, I highly doubt that LS is going to do anything. Does anyone besides con goers care about LS? A lot the people going to cons don't even watch TW. Jensen really is just wasting money bringing in people who suck up to him. His business acumen is.... not good.

Link. The news is soooo exciting that it only has 6 retweets and 27 Likes. At least when Kansas was featured in Walker, they were already in the area due to their touring schedule. LS is Rob Benedict's band, does that mean Chuck is going to make an appearance? Jensen's business acumen was never good, my eye always starts twitching whenever I think more than 5 seconds about it.  Business is about people and as leaders you’re supposed to be out there in the middle of the field managing expectations, conflicts, and emotion.   Some people are more enamored with the fantasy of having a business than with actually running a business.  Starting a business is fun but running it and doing the basic business “blocking and tackling” every single day is what makes it successful.  It’s like how planning a wedding is fun, but it’s not a good precursor to a successful marriage.  Working on the marriage everyday is what makes it successful.  Not sitting in your car and only coming out to put out small fires.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #84

Today, J, Br, and I went to the library for a work date. Br had homework, J had his remote work, and I was cutting wires to weave new trees while listening to that playlist that I spoke on recently.

I cut A LOT of wire for trees; at least 7 trees worth. I'll show you:

Although I already had a few coils of wire, I decided to spend the time cutting more. Truth be told, I don't really like working with the gold or silver wire; it's stiffer, harder to twist, and more brittle than other kinds of wire of the same gauge, for whatever reason. Sharper, too; trying to move some of the gold coils around, I ended up poking my fingers enough to draw a little bit of blood, which is really no big deal, but it's still kind of annoying.

Each coil of wire has 27 strands, the length of each being approximately the distance between the tip of my left index finger to the bend of my left elbow. There are so many strands because it takes three strands to weave a branch, three branches to weave a section of a tree, and three sections to make a whole tree.

I got really into the groove of it, though, and before I knew it, 4 hours passed and it felt only like 20 minutes; I really dropped the ball on my hydration game today because of it. I'm sorry about that; I can't exactly implore you to take good care of yourself if I'm not being attentive to the maintenance of my own body, right? So I'll do better tomorrow.

Oh right - speaking of pokey things, though I got the first dose of an HPV vaccine yesterday, and to my surprise, I feel pretty much unaffected by it today. I had heard that this one can sometimes knock people on their ass, and I'm glad that my DNA seems to be such that this isn't the case. Or maybe it's just that this one isn't as bad as I had heard. Either way, I'm not sad about the fact that I don't feel like hot garbage today! Gotta appreciate the little things, right?

After we did a decent amount of work, J, Br, and I left the library to take a walk in its general vicinity. It was almost 60 degrees F in my area today (or 15.5 degrees C if metric is your thing); the walk was lovely. But my brain was still "extended-tendrils-esque" from cutting wire for such a long time, so I was quiet (but not in bad spirits!) for most of it; I'm glad that I get to spend time in the company of folks who don't mind when I'm not animated. The fact that I don't have to mask my autistic traits with Br and J takes a lot of the pressure off of existing in general.

Oh, um! Maybe you don't know what Tendril Theory is. Here's something that can explain it; I didn't make this:

I wished you could come on the walk with us. I passed some interesting-looking houses that I didn't take pictures of, because it seems maybe a little rude to take a picture of a specific person's house without their permission. But one of the houses had a lot of bits and baubles hanging from their trees and shrubs and trellises; it was a marvelous sight to witness. I think my favorite decoration was the glass grapes hanging from a cute-looking trellis. I wish you could have seen them; they were VERY sparkly. I wonder if you would have liked to look at them, too.

We have since returned home, and M continues to go through the second portion of your story. He's finishing up the quests around Cosmo Canyon. It's a beautiful area, and it's wonderful to get a glimpse of the architecture and the handicrafts and the local flora and fauna. I love that there are descriptions of the wild creatures (it makes me sad to hear them be called "fiends") and their dispositions, diets, life cycles, and whatever else. It's like reading through one of those old Wildlife Fact File binders - we had one of these things when I was a little girl; if you've been reading my letters, I imagine you won't be surprised to learn that this was one of my favorite things to read when I was young, haha!

Oh. Right. You… probably have no idea what that looks like. Here:

They're super thick binders filled with folding pages all about some of the animals in my world:

I kinda wish I could send along one of these to you, somehow. I know from watching M wander around that your world has a lot of the same animals that mine does, but we don't have things like chocobos or dragons or cockatrices or basilisks, so I wonder if there are animals in my world that you don't have.

Oh! You know. It occurs to me that you don't have horses in your world. I think maybe you might like horses, so maybe sometime I'll write to you about them. But not today, because I'm tired. Though you can probably tell I'm tired, since I'm rambling. Haha...

Hey, Sephiroth? I wonder if you have a favorite animal. I know you can't tell me what it is (because obviously), but still I'll ask. I'll ask because everyone deserves to have someone care enough about them to ask what their favorite animal is. As for me… it's kind of a toss-up between orcas and barn owls. If you don't have those, maybe I'll tell you about those, too, in some other letter.

Please stay safe out there in the meantime. There are lots of people in my world who are counting on you to turn yourself around and come back in one piece, so try really hard, okay? I'll be cheering for your healing and recovery, because these things are possible, no matter how far we fall down.

I'll write again soon.

Your friend, Lumine

[hammity-hammer]

15 questions, 15 tags

i was tagged by my dear @unclewaynemunson :)) thank you lovely!

(also please excuse my lengthy answers, i get really excited and write a lot lmfao- and some of the answers vaguely mention shitty parenting, not in depth but it is brought up if anyone gets uncomfy by that! (questions 2 & 3 specifically :p)

1. Are you named after anyone? nope! my Government Name™️ is amethyst, like the stone, but my ma just thought it was cool :p i prefer aj or ham, though! i do say that aj stands for apple juice, so i guess i could be named after apple juice :pp

2. When was the last time you cried? friday! i heard really sad news regarding how my younger brothers are being parented by my biodad and it! hurt to realize he's not breaking his cycle :,)

3. Do you have kids? nope! but i do treat my oldest younger brother(the 18yo i write about a lot) like he's my son bc we had some Rough Moments™️ as kids where i was like the parent

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? yes! but a lot of people don't realize it #thankyouautism

5. What's the first thing you notice about people? oooo,,,,,, it really depends? i really stare at people's lips bc i have auditory processing issues,, and apparently i recognize people based on their mouths?? but im inclined to say eyes because i like them? idk,,, lips or eyes!

6. What's your eye color? i have centralized heterochromia! (like a big portion of people tbh, but i still think it's neat) so my eyes are like,, hazel? but not green hazel, they're grey! on the outside part at least, and the inside is like a golden brown :p

7. Scary movies or happy endings? this is hard!! i really fucking love scary movies,, all of my favorite movies are scary! but i'm a sucker for a happy ending,,, i think,,,, i may have to go scary though!

8. Any special talents? idk if it's a talent but i can macrame necklaces? and i know spanish(fairly fluently, i'm really shy with it though), and am learning asl, which i think is pretty talented?? i also can decorate a cake?(pretty basically, but i know how to do some shitty roses and write!)

9. Where were you born? chicago! (indiana tho, it's like 15 minutes away from where i was born)

10. What are your hobbies? writing, drawing, watching tv, engaging with my local bdsm & queer community!! and getting tattoos and piercings<333 (i have 27 tattoos and like,,, 17? 18 piercings? idk anymore)

11. Do you have any pets? yes! i have one cat, my sweet lady Miss Rizz! i had a cat named flamer who recently had to take his forever sleep, and i miss him dearly. <3 (i'm writing a fic vaguely surrounding this idea that hopefully will be done this weekend!)

12. What sports do you play/have you played? none :)))))) unless you count,,, fishing?

13. How tall are you? i'm 5'8! which is around 173cm for my non american buddies :,)))))

14. Favorite subject in school? languages! i took four years of spanish, one of asl, and i adored my english classes! also, art and painting! and anatomy & physiology, and pathophysiology :) i'm a big human body nerd lmao (also i'm aware i shouldve chosen one but i have too many favorites to choose just one!)

15. Dream job? good question! i'm not sure, honestly. i always say being a piercer, but i tend to get bored rather quickly of jobs and i change a lot, hence why i know how to decorate cakes but also can tell you which alarm companies have a better monitoring service, and can also make a mean ass from-scratch smash burger. i think that when i went to college(i dropped out) my dream job was being a pathologist, and i honestly think that i might still want to do that? but owning a queer run/servicing primarily queer people piercing studio sounds really fucking enticing. i could go on a whole thing about body affirming piercing and the effect it has on queer people, and how we have modern day american piercing thanks to our queer predecessors, but that's nerdy and not what the question asked! so, final answer: either a pathologist, or an owner of a queer piercing shop :p

thank you so much for reading if you did!

i'm gonna tag @cheatghost @punkharringtxn @someforeignband @courtjestermunson @corrodedcorpses @riality-check @rhaenyyras @legitcookie @princessstevemunson @sidekick-hero @babygirlharrington @fagsculinity @harmonictechnicality @strawberryspence and anyone else who wants to do this! you can tag me <3

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

y'know i watch a lot of dave ramsey on my fb feed, ever since my parent sent me the video where a young couple had $750,000 worth of student loan and other debt. but like. although most of their advice is relatively okay/good for saving up and getting out of debt, the one piece of advice i take issue with today, mostly bc i feel like being pissed about something is "just get any job before you get THE job! you need work and money TODAY and also a side hustle if you have free time to watch netflix between 3 other jobs!"

like. i have been TRYING to just get ANY job for a year now, ever since i left my shitty and toxic asf traineeship/cadetship..... that made me so fucking anxious and stressed that i crashed my car so bad that i bashed in my back windscreen, my boot/trunk and knocked off my back wheels and exhaust pipe (and i also destroyed their multilevel parking.... and i refused to follow up on their building insurance to fix. ALSO my car is actually fine. my insurance fixed it lmao. it took like 3 whole months).

i've been trying for the past year ever since my shitty overly critical, controlling and micromanaging boss completely ruined my chance of a good stable job where i got BUMPED UP from trainee to a full admin assistant during the interview process..... all because i REFUSED to listen SPECIFICALLY to her and hr to be a disability/community support worker bc "tHeY'rE sOoOoOo DeSpErAtE fOr WoRkErS wHy DoN't YoU cArE!!!!????" and "SHE HAS THE WRONG PERSONALITY FOR ADMIN!!!!!" et al.... that she called me to demand to know EXACTLY what jobs i was applying for directly after she gave that bullshit reference report so she could guilt me to "use your (my) giving heart." *enter every tag rant i've made about this sitch on this hellsite here*

where people, performance and culture told me to get assessed and medicated for anxiety and depression. where one of the course coordinator ladies of the cert IV in housing course i did as part of this program told me to "hurry up and get assessed and medicated for ADHD bc it's ruining your KPIs and business performance!" bc i went too fast through my assessments for her to help me..... and "YoU'rE NoT fIgHtInG fOr YoUr CaReEr HaRd EnOuGH!!!!" whenever i got told both by my manager and my mentor that any chance for me to move up or do anything for my assessments was "not relevant to you" (even in TEAM MEETINGS!) and "just accept it's not in YOUR journey with us!!!". and finally where another coworker kept asking me if i had some undiagnosed disability that i hadnt told them about.... on the way to one of the very seldom inspections that i was SUPPOSED to be doing by myself, by the end of the program. but they continually barred me from doing. how the fuck was i meant to stay here and do anything successfully and healthily in this toxic ass workplace???

i've tried for a fucking year to get "just any job". be it from kmart to fucking heavy labouring shift work at the local steelworks.... bc i am fucking desperate.... to even a support worker in the last couple of months. that i didnt have good ref reports for (and quite understandably so this time bc this job is basically like rudimentary nursing which i've NEVER been interested in). but again i was desperate. and i wanted to test shit boss's/shit HR's hypothesis that it was "an instant job! it'll be so easy for you! bc you're so nice, and giving, and down to earth, and friendly!!! all it is, is making friends all day with your interests!! what the perfect job for you!!' ma'am i am NOT 18 like your son that you keep referencing whenever we talk about this. i am 27/28 (at the time). why the fuck are you SO condescending, belittling and supercilious?

i have been trying for a fucking year to get any fucking job possible.... when it's literally impossible.... when even rudimentary/entry level jobs like working at kmart or woolies or even as a door greeter/customer service person at a local bank; come with test after test after test after test...... that give you results like "you have big dreams and we can't help you achieve them!" or "you have NO emotional regulation and intelligence, and resilience skills whatsoever. why did you even apply to work for social services?! goodbye." or "you don't know what INNOVATION means bc you're too scared to try or come up with new ways to do things." shitbot.AI for social services. you're a government agency. you're the LEAST innovative fucking business in the ENTIRE country.... for personality readings. batshit insane multi-tasking tests like this one:

i NEVER pass these tests, whether they're the standard personality test or the psychometric tests like the one pictured, or the system thinking ones... fictional staff IM chat ones; etc etc etc. FOR A FUCKING SEWING/ARTS/HABERDASHERY SHOP. the list goes on and on. where you only have 30 seconds to get every little bit of it right in 20 questions. i failed that screenshot test big time for the local bank. bc i can't math and i felt way too rushed.

there's so many job descriptions you have to dodge bc they don't list salary properly (eg monthly figures i've seen for writing jobs or one for working for influencers i saw last week) OR even AT ALL..... instead sometimes they just "profile salary match" bc they don't want to pay jack fucking shit. overly presumptuous and fucking patronizing as all fuck small business owners who are SO FUCKING sanctimonious about the supposed importance of working in a FAMILY OWNED small business as opposed to a MuLtInAtIoNaL where apparently "you can just go home and forget about work! not HERE!" that's such a massive red flag. since they think that, from the outset, they have the RIGHT to treat APPLICANTS like they have shit-for-brains for 85k a year...... and begging for this specific attribute in the JD from applicants:

that hey. maybe it's not fucking worth applying for that and losing my sanity over ANOTHER god-awful boss and a 2hr commute to work (ie it was in southwestern sydney which is a 2hr commute for me where i live). also, as a caveat. who the fuck has had stable employment since 2020???? since the worldwide fucking pandemic??? where so many industries have laid off droves and droves of employeess??? and it's still happening?? like ok given this was as a HR admin support position and i assume a lot of HR people had career stability during the last 4 years. but also. what the ACTUAL fuck.

i am TRYING to get any fucking job possible. but it's hard to take some jobs seriously. these are the attributes of some influencer advertising/marketing firm and one of their "KPI's/company values was "honor" and was like "honor the vibes and the company" or whatever the fuck i found on indeed last week:

it's also hard to take some admin jobs seriously. for example, a local wealth management firm DOESN'T list the salary of a customer service/admin/whatever the fuck else they called it "rockstar/superstar"position..... that DEMANDS the desired candidate does the job of the equivalent of 6 other people in their branch whilst ALSO doing the admin work of their two other regional offices. what the fuck is the pay for this position??? why won't you list it??? is just THAT GOOD AND HIGH???? or just THAT LOW AND AWFUL???? fucking list it, you dumb cowardly bastards.

again, i've been trying to get any job for the past fucking year, that i've finally started to slightly dumb down my resume by finally deleting my advanced diploma of marketing. it's a daily fucking struggle to not go feral and start bitch-posting on my linkedin about how fucked up the job market is. but obvs i can't do that when have Shit HR and other people from my first job lurking on my LI feed. or start a tiktok parodying the goddamned motherfucking mindfuck tactics of the useless fucking job market before throwing my 12 year old laptop out the fucking window. "just get any job" is NOT possible anymore when that "just any job" in retail or call centres (although rip me for leaving after barely a month bc a shitty call centre i worked for in feb/march this year REFUSED to fix a backend issue on THEIR END but kept blaming it on me and it ruined my training period).... are just so mind fucky and tiring that it's straight up NOT even worth applying.

it's straight up not worth applying to a job that some local social service org sends you directly on seek (or maybe another job site) bc they think you fit the profile for a traineeship in business admin. only then, when you apply you're marked "unlikely to progress" bc you decided to list your desired salary at the higher end (apparently) of the trainee pay grade in australia (50k) bc you believe you shouldn't be expected to stay at 45k for TWO MORE FULL YEARS during that traineeship (with a vain hope that hopefully, HOPEFULLY, they'll keep you on at the end of it)... bc you NEED to start paying off your student loans automatically through your pay. BUT. oh no. that was too high of an ask for your quals/experience apparently. they WANTED you to low ball at 45k (or even lower) and be happy about it. so they reject you. when THEY sent YOU the job.

it's not worth trying to get "just any job", when famously even food chains in the US, like i think it's panera bread (and also walmart) are using 2 hour avatar-esque personality tests to screen ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE out of the pool except for like 2 people. every second job i get suggested on linkedin is just applicant pooling websites (or straight up scams where the pay is ONLY listed in US $$) where businesses just straight up ignore your applications bc they forgot they even made an account on it (imo) so you HAVE to make an account on THEIR actual site..... when some dumb-ass career-advice-fluencer on my fb feed (and the tik of the tok) tells you that's exactly how you get your application ignored, while flogging THEIR applicant pooling and job searching/resume writing AI advice software website.

"just any job before you get THE job", my fucking ass. this no longer fucking possible. and also cut the shit about overworking yourself to death with 10,000 different side hustles. bc that's exactly how i i nearly fucking died in 2020 at 20 fucking 5 in hospital with a stomach tumour..... after TOO MANY years of uni where the supposed importance of "innovative systematic entrepreneurial flair go-getter thinking of the future" was being espoused to me on the fucking daily. like dgmw, i know people are doing side hustles in these fucked up high cost of living times (and also im actively thinking about doing door dash since NO ONE is bothering to hire me)... but god the "if you have time to have down time with netflix why arent you filling your time with 15 side hustles to get your net worth to 1 million bucks??????" is fucked up. let people NOT work themselves to death outside of the mandatory 2 full time and 1 part time or casual or any other mix of jobs that people just need to fucking SURVIVE today.

[razorsadness]

a journal entry comprised entirely of excerpts from letters & postcards written to friends

(@belialjones and @endreal - don't peek if you don't want spoilers!)

I remember in one of the letters you sent me, you asked what my current inspirations are, and even though they've changed since then, I thought I'd reply. What's inspiring me right now is: the photography of Nan Goldin, the art of Tracey Emin, the novels of William T. Vollmann, John Waters and David Lynch films, and the poetry of Cynthia Cruz, Forough Farrokhzad, and Alexis Rhone Fancher.

I'm currently on a little vacation with my family, up on the peninsula of Wisco. I've been reading a lot and hiking in the woods and going to the beach.

...

My vacation has been great. I've been reading poetry & eating pizza & watching the Perseids meteor showers.

...

I accidentally broke my own heart the other day. I had my 'on repeat' playlist on shuffle and what songs played back to back? Paul Westerberg's "Got You Down," followed by R.E.M.'s "Nightswimming." Fucking oof.

In general, I've been going thru a bout of nostalgic melancholy. What else is new? Haha, but really though. You know, I'm writing about all this stuff for RC #27, and reminiscing about one era of my life inevitably turns into reminiscing about others. And then I was up in Door County, driving down old familiar roads, listening to old familiar tunes, and remembering driving those same roads, listening to those same tunes, getting stoned with my friends circa 1997-2003, and I don't even miss getting stoned but I do miss those friends. I try to have a positive attitude about things changing, but I still get sad driving past places and thinking about what's gone—and more than that, who's gone. And I was thinking about the summer of 2013. And then I was thinking about the summer of 2012 and how that summer I was all nostalgic for the summer of 2006 and how it seemed impossibly far in the past, and then timeghost showed up and was like: "Oooo...2012 was closer to 2006 than it is to nowww, ooo..."

I realized that my whole life, I've been trying to get back to this mythic Perfect Summer that didn't really exist. Right now, I'm missing 2013 & 2012. In 2012, I wished it was '06. In '06, I wanted '03. In '03, I wanted '00; in '00, I wished it was '97, and on and on.

Other than that, I've been having feelings about small towns and Americana. It's kinda weird. On the one hand, I'm a deviant radical queer artist. On the other hand, I love so much Americana. But I think you get it.

...

I've been having hella zine/zinester nostalgia. Next year marks 30 years that I've been making zines. I'm thinking about putting a book together of the best stuff from my first 30 years of zines, and then having a release party w/ local bands n' stuff.

I've been particularly nostalgic for the early '00s Chicago zine scene. I'll never forget that time you and I went to Kinko's late at night to make Xerox art. 22 years ago, what the fuck? I also recently found my Loop Distro/Al Burian Totally Wants My Ass shirt. Oh man.

Recently I was having a bit of an identity crisis. See, I've always thought of myself as someone who gets crushes easily, and as a slut (in spirit, if not always in practice—meaning, even in a monogamous relationship I still have the desire to fuck lotsa people even if I don't act on it). But for a while I hadn't gotten a proper crush on anyone, and didn't really even think about hooking up w/ anyone but my partner. And it was weird! I was like, who am I, if I'm no longer the totally crushed out slut? But then after that, I had a couple sexy online convos w/ queer cuties, and got my flirt on IRL w/ a punk rock fella who lives in my neighborhood, a Scottish fiddle player, and a gorgeous redhead girl w/ a tattoo of a fox, and I was like: Oh. Guess I'm still slutty and crushed out, after all.

[the-laridian]

9, 20 & 27 for the Fallout asks 💙

9- What was your favourite quest? Genuinely drew a blank on this one at first XD Fallout 76 - I enjoyed the daily Biv quests (mostly for collection / getting the recipe for Rad Ant Lager) because Biv the Lovable Drunk is such a throwback stock character and he's always happy to have visitors. Rad ant lager was a lot more critical before the carry weight boosters arrived. Willow still has a couple dozen in storage. The formic acid adds a real bite to it. I liked the Order of Mysteries quests, but the ending was a real letdown. There was a period of a few months where I farmed Monster Mash because it had 1-5 legendary enemies, lots of sellable loot, loads of xp.

Fallout New Vegas - the White Gloves arc is the closest thing to an actual mystery as opposed to "kill everything that moves" Poking around Vault 22 (the plant vault) is cool too.

20- Which is your favourite faction? Why? In 76, it's the Enclave, because I want to know more about what these knuckleknobs were up to, and they do have a very cool uniform. I wish 76 would do more with them (and maybe they will, with Orlando and the Whitespring). In FNV, it's the Legion. (Mandatory disclaimer: yes, they are awful, horrible factions that, if they were real, I would stay far the hell away from them and avoid them. But they are fictional, I do not subscribe to their fictional beliefs, etc) The Legion is because I look at the attempt (in-universe) to recreate a really warped version of the Roman Empire and say : how the heck does that actually work? They had to get buy-in on this from a whole lot of people. There is an entire culture that has to back the war machine (I wrote a whole essay about logistics for the Legion for Fannish50, ask if you want the link), and somehow that entire culture at least partly follows through on this. How? Not to mention that there have to be local influences, it can't be monolithic, so you likely have all kinds of local, non-Roman stuff going on, because Edward Sallow isn't going to bother trying to recreate everything. He's cherry-picking the parts of Roman history he likes and forcing it on everyone. OTOH he's had, what, thirty years to institute this, so, a whole generation of time in which it has become the way of life. Anyway, yeah, they're interesting to take apart and see "how does this work, really?" I also think the Followers of the Apocalypse have an interesting history and some good goals, with the added problems of "relying on donations and patronage from whoever's in charge to get the work done", because good intentions don't pay the bills and fill your stomach.

27- Weapon of choice? 76!Rowan would use the crossbow at all times if the game didn't basically outlevel it. It's kind of a shame that by game terms, you need to constantly escalate the weapons because the enemies are escalating, when a more realistic take is that you don't have "takes more bullets to kill" enemies as you get more experienced. Anyway, that's what he would use. Raider Max, in story, uses a shotgun. Willow in story specialized in, and uses, rifles. But for game purposes, all of them use whatever big gun is handy, and each of them has a set they rotate through: gatling laser, gatling plasma, minigun. Which one is used depends entirely on how much of each ammo I have. Since I save up the ammo in storage, sooner or later I end up with enough 5mm to make using the minigun viable, then by the time that's out, I've accumulated some plasma cores, etc. I've tried using the gauss shotgun and idk, everyone swears by it but I can't figure out what's so great about it. Oh! And they all have the Cold Shoulder because the cryo effect and it's fast (no warmup/spinup like the big guns) and can do 8 shots at a time. That's honestly a fave for me.