#but like...i miss this feeling of love this kind of thing brings
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kngrose · 2 days ago
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do you not write for ambessa đŸ‘‰đŸ»đŸ‘ˆđŸ»? cuz your sevika headcanons are *chef’s kiss*
ambessa general headcanons 𝜗𝜚
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WARNINGS: 18+, sexual content, implied voyeurism, body worship, oral, slapping, spanking, dacryphilia, implied age gap, slave/master if you squint, wlw!
prayers have been answered ^^
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SFW
Come, come. Let's talk about it.
I don't think Ambessa strikes anyone as a lovely kind of person. Yes, she is incredibly charismatic, and might even be the love-bombing type, but Ambessa seems to clearly reserve "love" for those closest to her. Well, her version of it anyway.
She won't just walk around with her heart on her shoulder, she's a warrior for hell's sake. And we're all familiar with her opinions on becoming weak at the hands of love.
If you've managed to genuinely catch Ambessa's interest-- not just for her personal gain or a quick fuck-- then you've got a headache coming your way. Like, a migraine.
I want to really emphasize the love bombing because regardless of whether Ambessa is aware of it or not, the relationship will feel this way for a long time. There's a pattern. She's affectionate one day; showering you with praises and soft kisses, sunrise to sunset. You'll have to want for nothing. Gifts and trips, all treated to you by hers truly. Wining and dining, a good fuck. And though all of this is displayed in private, you'll be enamored. Which is exactly what she wants you to be.
And then, she'll be cold and standoffish. Uncaring of your presence or too busy to be bothered. When Ambessa handles business, there's no such thing as making time for you. You'll just have to pacify yourself until she's ready to be bothered with you again.
It'll take you a while to realize, but when you do you can't miss it; she's got an avoidant attachment. She wants to love you and to be loved, but the moment she receives it she's pulling away. She's looking for flaws in you, anything that'll convince herself that you're bad for her, to leave you where she found you.
Constantly creating exit strategies, thinking of petty little arguments to start for no reason, or an insecurity of yours to pick at. She was trained to fight, it's her strong suit in any sense. It's always easier for her to disconnect and dismiss her feelings than to just sit and talk it out. And you'll want nothing to do with her, which is also what she wants.
She just be losing the plot, I fear.
Unfortunately, cycles like this take time to break. Fortunately, she's not going to let you leave! So you have all the time in the world! <3
When you bring this to her knowledge, you'll really have to bring it. Sit her down and let her know she's not moving until she's heard every word that leaves your mouth, wagging a painted finger in her face. And she'll humor you because you've managed to make an impression with her.
She will sit, patiently and leisurely, man spread and all, watching you fuss her out throwing your hands every which way and yelling. And she will have the softest, fondest smile on her face. She'll know you love her at this moment.
She will let you say your piece without interruptions. In fact, she's so quiet that you have to question if she's even listening a few times. And when you catch sight of that little smile you just pause, dumbfounded. And she'll just humor your expression, urging you to continue with a curt wave of her hand.
After this occasion, Ambessa will be relentless. In her mind, anyone willing to fuss her out the way that you have must truly love her. So now, she knows no limits. In the past, Ambessa would have you stay put with some guards while she handled her day-to-day tasks. But now? You tag along with her everywhere.
In meetings, Ambessa has you perched on her lap. Touching you mindlessly as she discusses possible strategies and looks over speeches. Rubbing your thighs, your neck, your arms. You'll find it awkward at first--such a public display of affection-- but you'll have no choice but to get used to it.
She's hand-feeding you everything. Holding your cups to your lips, licking frosting off your mouth. It's a starch contrast to the dynamic your relationship used to have. But, you suppose you shouldn't be surprised at her shamelessness, she's always been a bit... eccentric.
And now, you don't even have to ask her to share her feelings, in fact, you have to tell her that some things are a little TMI because she wants to share everything with you. Everything. EVERYTHING.
Secrets don't exist, she's an open book. Whatever's on her mind, you're going to hear about it. Which in most cases, you can appreciate. She'll open up about her past and all of the things that have led her up to this point. She'll speak of her daughter, Mel, expressing a regret that she's never opened up to her about. And she'll talk about the effects you have on her personally.
These moments are heartwarming, cause it solidifies your bond.
Undoubtably, Ambessa is a very possessive woman. She's very adamant about expressing to everyone that you belong to her. Not necessarily in a verbal sense, but people will know. They'll know when they see the lingering touches she leaves, the elongated glances, the kisses. Again she's very shameless, so don't let these things take you by surprise.
She's also very protective. She does like to have you tag along with her everywhere, but every now and then she'll leave you with Rictus while she goes to handle more trying situations. You know, the ones where she may potentially commit a war crime or two.
She'd much rather you be locked away than have to protect you on the battlefield. Though she's positive you know of her capabilities, she wouldn't like to have you see her in that light regardless. She'll go to great, violent, bloody lengths to keep you safe.
Besides her shameless physical touch, Ambessa likes to show her love with flashy gifts and large bouquets of flowers. She likes to collect things from all the places she's been to gift to you; know that every time she's out, she thinks of what you might like to have.
She also likes to share knowledge. She finds that to be one of the biggest displays of love; sharing one's knowledge of the world and life. Things you can can learn from. She will really appreciate and admire the fact that you look up to her as a mentor, and especially loves it when you ask for her opinion or perspective. It shows that you rely on her.
And she likes to be relied on!
She has a tendency to just walk around naked, and not for any particular reason other than the fact that it’s, “Comfortable, sweet thing.” It doesn’t matter what time of the day it is, if she has leisure time to waste, she’ll be naked. And she likes to be watched; “I worked hard for this body, honey..” She’ll say, flexing her arms at you.
She takes great pride in her form and in her strength. She likes to lift you up randomly just to showcase it. She’ll always pick you up when she hugs you, gripping your thighs loosely or not at all. You could honestly just hang onto her, dropping all of your weight. It wouldn’t make a difference.
She never fails to fluster you at any given chance. Every time you’re having a conversation she’s holding the strongest eye contact, chuckling to herself when you avoid her gaze. She'll randomly grip your chin, or caress your face. Sometimes twirling the hair by your ears. She likes to see you get all flustered because of her. It genuinely makes her day. That's why she does it so much.
She's old! Lol, you'll have to keep her updated with the new slang and terms of endearment. If you're someone who incorporates a lot of slang into your vocabulary, you'll often receive sideways glances of confusion before she stares at you and mutters, "...What?"
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I’m going to say it again; she’s shameless.
She has no qualms. Like, at all.
She loves to put on a show. She loves to be ogled at, it strokes her— already large enough— ego. More often than not, she’ll shove you down onto the bed, and with a calculated slowness, she’ll begin to undress, maintaining eye contact with you throughout. Her eyes always smoldering with a mix of passion and a touch of dominance.
And she’ll study you closely for your reaction, loving the look of pure awe on your face as she stands nude before you. Her voice, a low and husky murmur, would echo through the room, "See something you like, my dear?" and she’ll hum in approval at the soft, “Yes, Ma’am” she receives in return.
Ambessa appreciates a well mannered slut.
Most times, Ambessa will request that you massage her, all over. She loves it; It fulfills her desire to be worshipped. She loves to watch you take your time and rub every part of her, smirking down at you as you get lower and lower.
Ambessa will lean back slightly, her expression transitioning into a devilish smirk. Her free hand slowly tracing a path along the contours of your body. She watches you like a hawk, a smirk ever present on her lips.
When you start to kiss down her body a contented sigh will escape her lips. She’ll run her fingers through your hair, gently but firmly guiding your movements. Her head will tilt back, her eyes half-lidded with satisfaction. Each touch, each kiss, draws out a low and guttural sound from her throat, her desire evident in the way her body responds to your ministrations.
And the hand in your hair will tighten as she shoves your face in between her legs, a knowing glint in her eyes, “You know what to do.” And her body tenses as you start to eat her pussy, the hand in your hair tightening almost painfully as she groans.
She requires eye contact; she wants you to watch her come undone on your mouth. It’s like a reward, no? Watching the effect you have on her. She wouldn’t want you to miss the way she leans her head back, her hips rutting against your tongue at a steady pace, glancing down at you as she murmurs, “Good girl.”
And she won’t miss the hand that you trail down to your pussy, toying with yourself impatiently. A leisurely chuckle will fall from her lips, “Patience, Darling.” She’ll always say, pulling your hair to angle your head just right so she can fuck your face better. “Patience.”
And soon her breathing will turn shallow, Ambessa's grip on your hair impossibly intensifying, her fingers tangling in your locks as she guides your movements. Her control momentarily slips as she succumbs to the pleasure you're giving her.
And when she cums? She’ll pull your head back playing idly with the mess on your face, “Tsk
 now you’re all dirty,” She’ll mutter, before leaning down and licking it off your chin. She’ll meet your lips in a sloppy mess of a kiss, groaning softly at the taste. And when she pulls back she’ll admire the look on your face, taking a mental photo of it. “Pretty
”
I think Ambessa would have a thing for teasing you. She likes to put you in uncomfortable positions. Make you put yourself on display in risky places. Loves touching you under tables. It just warms her core to see you so flustered, really riles her up. Especially so if you start crying, she’ll just squeeze your cheeks in her hand and snicker at you, “Ohhhh, you poor thing,” She’ll chuckle, and peck your puckered lips.
I already mentioned that Ambessa loves it when you’re well-mannered, it’ll quite literally get you anything your heart desires. You ask her nicely to make up cum? She’ll do it in a heartbeat. “With my mouth, or with my hands?” She’ll raise a brow, “Or with something else?” You use your manners with Ambessa like a good girl and she’ll be at your beck and call.
Laying you on your stomach softly to pull your ass in the air and eating your pussy until you squirt all over her mouth, and she won’t let a drop go to waste. She’ll trail her thick tongue from your clit all the way to your ass and back, over and over and over, circling the hole playfully before spitting onto it, the spit trailing back down. It’s truly a beautiful sight, she thinks.
Do you want her to fuck you with her fingers? They’re thick. You’ll hardly need two of them to satiate that churning in your core. Perhaps you want a massage of your own? Want her to suck on your pretty feet? Maybe you want her to talk you through your orgasm and praise you softly in your ear while you cum on her fingers? Everything all at once? No request is too far for Ambessa. She likes to worship her pretty thing; and loves to appreciate your body. Especially when it’s well deserved.
But when you’re ill mannered? Ambessa will show you exactly how she became a warlord.
Don’t expect any pleasure from this outcome. It’ll be hard. It’ll be brutal. And you’ll wish you’d never mouthed off at her the way you did. “What did we learn?” She’ll growl, above you, slapping your ass with a powerful force, “Quickly.” She’ll order.
And she’ll hum as you blubber loudly about being respectful, but her abuse will not stop. She will continue to keep you over her knee, slapping at your ass and thighs relentlessly. And when she’s done with that? She’ll have you on your knees, facing up at her with your hands folded politely over your lap. And you’d better pay extra attention to your posture or she’ll punish you for that too.
You’re never prepared for the swat to your cheek. “What are we not doing in the future?” She won’t falter at the cry that leaves your mouth, her gaze stone-cold and unwavering. She’ll swat your cheek again, slap, “I said, quickly.” And again, she won’t be moved by your blubbering until she’s satisfied-- until she believes you’ve learned a lesson.
And she’ll always be sure to pacify you until you’ve calmed down, offering you water and comfort, but still being stern enough that you remember your place the next time around. She’ll be sure to build you up just as she’s broken you down, affirming you gently. And you’ll fall back into her, blubbering your apologies.
She’ll conceal a smirk.
She loves to see you cry.
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lemotmo · 1 day ago
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Yeah let's not do this for 3 months people. He's not leaving! We're at the beginning of Buddie!!!
Q. I'm so confused by all the excitement, and I admit that I struggle with facial awareness, but all we got was Eddie saying he's leaving so that feels way more like a Ryan exit than a beginning to Buddie. What did I miss?
A. Okay I'm going to say this once, and only once. We are not spending 3 months on a nonstarter spiral. Ryan is not leaving. It's not an exit story. It's the beginning of a feelings realization story, only Eddie hasn't quite arrived at the starting point for his part yet. Lots of people struggle with facial cues, anon, and there's nothing wrong with that, but it's not an exit storyline. It's drama set up to kick start Buck's spiral and to bring Christopher home. That's why I loved that they had Buck on the couch and Eddie in the kitchen. The couch has kind of always been used to symbolize a romantic relationship between Buck and Eddie, both of them being home when they're on that couch, so putting Buck on the couch in that scene basically puts Buck in position. Buck has arrived at the start of his realization arc. The box has been opened (the box being his long unexamined feelings for Eddie) and he won't be able to put the lid back on it this time. The moment we see Buck have at the end of the episode was not his 'oh Eddie's my person' moment but it was the start of Buck's journey to that realization. Buck was devastated in that moment, but for the sake of Eddie, he attempted to fake enthusiasm. Eddie being happy means more to Buck than his fear of being left behind, again. But that fear will come out when the season returns in March. Tim basically confirmed that Buck will spiral and he will throw himself into a distraction to try and block his pain. That distraction will inevitably fail, as Tim also already spoiled (they learned their Tommy lesson and they won't be repeating it), and that will force Buck to once and for all have to confront and figure out why the thought of losing Eddie sends him spiraling. The end of the episode was the beginning of Buck's journey.
Eddie hasn't reached his starting point, yet. But having him in the kitchen, the other big Buddie room, was a way to show that he is close. Framing the shot the way they did, Eddie having a straight line of sight to Buck on the couch, was intentional. Eddie is close but he's not there yet. He's distracted by the whole Christopher thing, as he should be. Eddie won't be able to arrive at his starting point until he gets the Christopher situation settled. That entire scene was LOUD. Buck letting himself in using his key. Eddie not being able to look at Buck when talking about moving. The flirty way Buck asked what he was watching on the iPad, fully believing it was porn. And again the way the entire scene was framed and shot. The close up of Eddie's face when he realizes he's not alone in this moment and that he does have someone in his corner. Then the close up of Buck's face when he allows the mask of enthusiasm to slip and we see the real sadness that he is feeling. It was very clearly the beginning of their storyline. It was in no way shaped, framed or written as the beginning of an exit storyline. It's happening, anon. Let yourself enjoy the build up 💗
Thank you Nonny! Much appreciated!
YES to all that Ali talked about here! Let's be happy you guys. We are finally here after 7 very long years of ups and many downs. This is the first time we've actually gotten real confirmation that the Buddie slow burn is on!
Let's enjoy this break before the show comes back, because I anticipate a lot of drama in 8b. And once the show is back on? Let's just sit back, relax and watch Buddie's story unfold. It'll be glorious!
Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.
Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.
If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.
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gotta-winwin · 4 hours ago
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OT13 Reaction -- to winning at MAMA awards
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a/n: in celebration of our boys winning both AOTY awards at MAMA last night. i am so incredibly proud i feel like i raised them or something. like guys- it is that serious they are my family and im going insane.
SCOUPS: you're the first one he's calling once he's offstage - he's dialling your number and a whole string of nonsense rattles off him the moment you pick up. he can't string together proper words as you congratulate him. tells you how fucking happy the boys are - you should've seen them, love - did you see woozi crying? and DK - he smiled so big - needs you to bring him back to earth and remind him that this is his award too. he deserves it just as much as they do.
JEONGHAN: he's literally been bored out of his mind as you guys sit at home, watching the award show live. the only times he's acc been paying full attention was whenever groups he knew personally were on screen - and even then - you know you're losing him to how tired he is. lets out the tiniest, babiest gasp when seventeen is announced as the winner. is crying but turns away so you can't call him out on it.
JOSHUA: he runs home to you right after their dinner together and collapses into your arms. he's spent from the sheer chaos and adrenaline. mumbles sweet nothings about how this award is also yours. we won, baby. we share everything - this award is because of you - all because of you.
JUN: he's hiding out in his filming trailer so he can watch the award show through your phone on facetime - it's grainy and glitchy as HELL but he does not care. there's a 3 second lag when seventeen's announced as the winner - so he can hear you screaming but he doesn't know why. his mouth drops once the wifi catches up and he's practically glowing the entire day on set.
HOSHI: comes home wasted and a bundle of pure energy. he's on a high from the win- rushes home to yell into your ear how ecstatic he is as he tackles you for a hug. tells you he's literally so down to name your firstborn child AOTY just cause.
WONWOO: he comes home rather calm despite the chaotic evening he just had. runs you through his whole day- from getting his makeup done to winning the award to having celebratory dinner. you sit and listen happily, cause this is the most yapping you've ever seen this man do and you're SO happy. finishes his yap session by telling you that you make it all worth it - you're the real award, not MAMA.
WOOZI: tells you not to watch their acceptance speech even though he knows you already did :( is uber embarrassed at how emotional his speech was. I was gonna go up and accept it like a nonchalant cool mysterious man but NO! I just had to cry. he doesn't talk about the win much to you, preferring to just enjoy a quiet night in after the crazy evening. whispers to you once you fall asleep that this is why he does music and thanks you and the boys for being his biggest fans.
THE8: sends you the badass photo of him with all their trophies, followed with a long paragraph about how grateful he is to have you next to him through it all. he's unbelievably bright and happy for the next couple weeks, resulting in you kind of missing sassy Hao and asking for him back. side eyes you when you ask and quips "you didn't win a daesang- I did." Well...he's back ig.
MINGYU: comes home and the first thing he says to you is: aren't you proud i didn't cry? pouts when you rewind the clip to point out: he did in fact cry, he was just hiding his ginormous body behind his members. vows to you he won't cry the next time they win- and yes, he promises there will be a next time. and many after that.
DK: a bundle of joy upon his arrival home. keeps telling you he doesn't know what he did to deserve all this- completely floored when you start ranting about why he deserves it all. blushes and hides his face cause the compliments have him shy.
SEUNGKWAN: comes home fully ready to unleash his bragging rights. asks you to only address him by AOTY daesang winner for the next hour, until the joke gets old and he just wants to relax with you. gets a little sappy retelling stories about their trainee days as you both walk down memory lane together.
VERNON: hands you a wad of cash the moment he enters your shared apartment. oh well. i lost the bet. he literally bet against his team winning and ofc you took him on it cause obv seventeen is gonna win?? tells you he was confident svt was going to win he just wanted an excuse to give you cash.
DINO: promises to shout you out the next time svt wins a daesang. obv you don't believe him, so he defends himself, promising that he will 100% name drop his girlfriend on global television for shits and giggles. yeah, i'll just grab the mic and say "i dedicate this award to my WIFE" and watch the internet explode. why not?
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luvismenu · 3 days ago
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Something Stupid — Kim Taehyung One-Shot
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navi ,, m.list ,,
warnings: ANGST. unspoken love, one-sided love, co-workers, Taehyung's POV, tae doesn't speak much, he's just a little sad guy. lowercase intended.
wc: 3.6k
pairing (well not really): quiet taehyung x fem!reader
a/n: apology one-shot for discontinuing the art of love 😞 (worst kind of apology ik but idc huhu suffer w me <3) i teared up writing this. don't let this flop i swear đŸ«”đŸŒ
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November 21
a year ago.
it was the day i met you.
it was your first day at work. you were glowing, so full of excitement, and so happy to be starting your dream job. i could tell from the way your eyes lit up that you were ready for this, ready for everything.
i remember how i welcomed you, and you looked at me, and you smiled.
“thank you! i’m ___, nice to meet you.”
there was something in the way you smiled that made my heart skip. it was simple, but it made me freeze for a moment. i couldn’t help but stutter.
“i-i
 i’m kim taehyung, nice to meet you too
”
you nodded, still wearing that bright smile, and then turned to greet the others. and i just stood there, watching you.
i didn’t realize it at the time, but i couldn’t stop stealing glances at you. the way you came in every morning, the way you greeted everyone with a bright “good morning!” and how you always wished everyone to have a great day, no matter what.
even though we barely talked, even though you never really spoke to me much, it still made my day. just seeing you, hearing your voice, feeling the warmth you radiated. it was genuine, simple, but it made everything feel a little better, a little easier to bear.
November 28
you baked cookies, and handed out small bags, each tied with a neat bow. you didn’t miss anyone in the office, not even me. you made sure to thank everyone for making you feel so welcome.
everyone was happy to receive them, and so was i. but i overheard a few people talking behind your back, saying you were trying too hard, that it was all a little much.
but when i looked at you, all i could see was that you just wanted to fit in, wanted to make everyone around you feel comfortable. i saw it in the way your eyes shined, even though they were tired, like you were trying to prove something.
your dark circles told me you probably stayed up all night baking those cookies. i wanted to tell you how much i appreciated it, how i felt like you didn’t need to push yourself so hard. you were perfect just the way you were.
“i hope you like them, mr. kim! let me know if you prefer chocolate cookies, i have those too!”
but i couldn’t bring myself to say it.
“these are fine
”
December 10
the office holiday party was approaching, and the excitement was tangible. decorations were put up, and the air smelled sweet. everyone was talking about their plans, about what they were wearing, about who was bringing what dish.
and there you were, always the one to make sure everything was perfect, organizing the little details, ensuring no one felt left out. you were always so kind, always so giving.
i watched you from across the room, helping the others with the setup, your smile lighting up the entire space. you seemed so at ease, so comfortable in your role, but i could still see the exhaustion hidden behind your cheerful demeanor. the way your shoulders dropped slightly when you thought no one was looking, the way your eyes would gloss over for a second before you’d catch yourself and smile again.
i wanted to say something to you, tell you how much i admired your strength, how much i wished you’d let yourself rest, how i’d do anything to make things easier for you.
but i never did.
instead, i just kept watching, my words trapped in my chest, my heart pounding every time you passed by, hoping maybe, just maybe, you’d catch a glimpse of the way i looked at you.
"mr.kim, can you pass me the tape?"
“yes,”
December 25
i was walking to a store. christmas had never been anything special for me, but today felt different. i wanted to get you something, something to show you that you matter to me. that you’re someone special.
i found a little keychain; red flowers. when i first saw it, it reminded me of you. so bright and beautiful. i thought, “maybe you’d like this.”
as i walked out of the store, the cold air hit me. it was christmas, so the streets were packed with people rushing around. but i wasn’t in any hurry. i just wanted to buy you something, to let you know how much i appreciated everything about you.
then, i saw you.
a figure i recognized, standing by the candy store, looking at candy canes. the world seemed to slow as i watched you. you were wearing a soft, fluffy coat, a muffler wrapped around your head, your hair dusted with snow, your cheeks flushed from the cold. you were smiling at the candy canes like they were the most magical thing in the world.
i stopped, not sure if i should approach. i had the keychain in my hand, clutching it tight. my heart raced at the thought of finally giving you something, of finally telling you how much you mean to me.
i thought, this was it.
but then, i saw him.
someone else, someone taller, someone who looked like he belonged with you. he walked up to you, took your hand, and smiled at you. your eyes lit up when you saw him.
i froze.
my stomach twisted when he leaned down and kissed you. i watched you smile against his lips, and i could see the happiness in your eyes.
i stood there, completely still.
the moment i’d imagined for so long, the one where i’d finally be brave enough to talk to you, to give you the gift and the words that had been stuck inside me. but it wasn’t for me.
it was for him.
i turned away, my grip loosening around the keychain. i don’t know why i thought you’d feel the same way. i shouldn’t have been surprised, but it hurt. it hurt more than i could have ever expected.
as i walked, i bumped into someone. the sudden jolt made the keychain slip from my hand, and it fell to the ground with a soft clink.
in a panic, i reached out, my hand stretching toward the tiny flowers that had somehow come to mean so much to me. but the crowd was relentless, people moving quickly, oblivious to anything but getting to their next destination.
someone stepped on it.
then another.
and another.
the red flowers, so beautiful just moments ago, was crushed underfoot. pieces of it scattered across the pavement, the petals breaking apart with each step
i stood there, helpless, my fingers trembling as i watched it all happen. i wanted to scream, to shout, to stop the world from moving so fast. but all i could do was watch the remnants of the flower.
i should’ve known.
you were too perfect.
too perfect for someone like me.
January 23
"mr. kim?"
i looked up, surprised to hear my name. it was you, standing there with a soft smile on your face.
“yes, ms. ___?”
you smiled again, this time a little warmer.
"you can call me ___," you said gently, as if you were giving me permission to speak to you like a normal person.
i nodded, too nervous to say anything else. i wanted to tell you that you didn’t have to call me mr. kim, that taehyung was fine, but the words never left my lips. they got stuck somewhere in my chest.
“me and my friends are going out for lunch, and i wanted to invite you too,” you said, still smiling.
"m-me?" my voice caught, the surprise clear in my tone. i couldn’t understand why you’d want me to join you. i barely ever spoke to you outside of work, and i could never bring myself to be as casual as everyone else.
“you always work alone, well i am sure you prefer it that way..” you chuckled. “i don’t know, i just thought you might enjoy spending time with us.” you looked at me with those hopeful eyes, as if you were waiting for me to say yes. as if you genuinely wanted me there.
it felt like the moment when i first met you all over again. everything became still. my heart raced in my chest, and i could feel the weight of your gaze on me.
i could’ve said no.
i could’ve come up with some excuse.
but i didn’t.
"that would be nice," i managed to say, the words barely above a whisper, but enough for you to hear.
you smiled again, and for a brief moment, it felt like the world was just you and me.
February 12
"you know, i like your quietness, mr. kim."
we were walking together, you had invited me to lunch, and you mentioned you had something you wanted to ask me.
"oh..." was all i could manage to say.
you glanced at me, your eyes catching mine for a moment before you looked away, your smile barely noticeable. i felt a little flushed, a little nervous under your gaze. i quickly looked forward, trying to focus on anything else.
you chuckled softly, your voice breaking the silence. "you remind me a lot of my boyfriend," you said, the words casual, like they didn’t carry the weight they did in my mind.
"oh..." i stammered. so it was your boyfriend.
"do you like him?" i asked without thinking. it was a stupid question.
you laughed, a soft, light sound that seemed to come from somewhere genuine. "i wouldn’t be dating him if i didn’t."
my heart sank just a little.
of course, you liked him. why would i even ask? but i couldn’t take it back.
when we finally reached the restaurant, you led us to a quiet corner, and i sat across from you, feeling a strange mixture of comfort and tension. you looked at me, as if expecting something.
"i thought you’d prefer it like this," you said.
and i did. it was peaceful, calm. just like you.
"so!! the thing i wanted to ask you about," you started, leaning in slightly, your voice lowering in a way that made me pay attention to every word. "it’s valentine’s day soon, and i really want to get something cute for my boyfriend."
"oh..." i said again, my voice barely above a whisper.
"don’t take me wrong, but like i said, you remind me of him. you’re a lot like him. quiet, calm. so maybe you could help?" you leaned in a little, and i could feel my face getting warmer.
it felt strange. unsettling. like a weight pressing against my chest.
"i don't know, ms. ___—"
"you can call me by my name," you reminded me, your voice soft. it made me feel even more unsure of myself.
"___, i think you’re asking the wrong person... i-i’m not good with stuff like... valentine’s day," i stammered, my gaze shifting away from you. i couldn’t meet your eyes. the words felt wrong, awkward.
you studied me for a moment, then leaned back in your chair. "that’s okay, mr. kim," you said, and there was something in your voice that made me feel even worse.
what if you were just trying to make small talk? what if i had ruined it? what if you were just being kind, as always, and i made it so... uncomfortable?
"b-but you like to bake, right?" i suddenly said, not really thinking. "so... that’s a good present, i guess. i mean, i would love it. i mean, they were delicious! so.." i quickly added, flushing slightly at how ridiculous it sounded.
your smile returned, this time wider. "that sounds nice!! and i am glad you liked them" you chuckled, and for some reason, the sound of it made me smile too.
just then, your phone rang. you excused yourself, your voice light as you answered the call.
"oh, excuse me," you said, and i nodded in response, trying not to listen too closely.
"hey, honey... oh, i’m just with a colleague right now.” you chuckled. “i miss you too, joon"
it must’ve been him.
i didn’t mind.
i couldn’t. i just sat there, watching you, wishing this moment could last a little longer, even if it meant nothing more than a colleague relationship. even if it was just fleeting moments like these.
and as you spoke softly to him, my smile faded slightly, but the warmth remained.
February 14
valentine's day.
i hated this day.
but that morning, i couldn’t help but notice you. smiling to your coworkers, your friends, as you handed them small boxes of what i guessed were chocolates, all tied with a bright yellow bow.
even though you weren’t smiling at me, just watching you made me feel warm. it softened the bitterness of the day, just a little.
by afternoon, i was at my desk, buried in work as usual. i didn't see you approach, but i felt the air shift when you stood infront me.
“mr. kim?” yourvoice was gentle, like you always were.
i looked up, startled, and you placed a small box with a purple bow on it in front of me.
“happy valentine’s day,” you said, your smile soft but genuine. and just like that, my heart skipped a beat.
you turned as if to leave, but i couldn’t let it end like that.
“___,” i called out, my voice catching in my throat. you stopped and looked back at me, waiting.
“you can call me taehyung,” i said, the words coming out almost too quietly.
you smiled again, that same warm, reassuring smile. "taehyung," you nodded, as if it were something important.
it was.
to me, it was.
June 13
it was the day you were transferring to a different city.
it was the last time i saw you.
you were a little emotional. there were tears in your eyes as you bid goodbye to your coworkers.
i didn’t expect you to talk to me. i stayed at my desk, silent, watching everythin
it was sad.
hell, it was heartbreaking.
then i saw you walking towardsme, and for a moment, i froze.
“taehyung, i—” you started, your voice soft, hesitant. you looked down, a little sad. “i wish i got to spend more time with you.”
that’s when everything around me shattered. again.
“i regret not becoming a good friend of yours,” you said, your voice wavering, “i
 i tried.”
you looked up, your eyes glistening.
“you’ve always been so quiet, so reserved,” you said, letting out a nervous laugh. “i guess i never knew how to reach you. but i wish i had.”
i wanted to say something, anything. but the words got stuck in my throat, just like they always did.
“i hope
 you’ll let someone in someday,” you continued, your voice growing softer. “you’re a good person, taehyung. i hope you know that.”
i felt my chest tighten, my heart aching with every word you spoke.
you turned around to leave, taking a few steps, and something inside me broke.
i love you.
you froze for a moment, then turned back to face me, confusion etched across your features. “did you say something?” you asked, your voice tentative, uncertain.
i said it. but it was all in my head.
i hesitated, my chest tightening. “you are a good friend, ___.”
your eyes widened slightly, and for a moment, we both just stared at each other. your gaze held something i couldn’t quite place.
was it surprise? sadness? relief?
“thank you, ___,” i added, trying to steady my voice.
your lips curved into a soft smile, one that reaches your eyes. the smile i love.
“thank you, taehyung,” you said softly.
you gave me a small nod, and then, with one last lingering glance, you turned to leave again.
i stood there, rooted in place, watching as you walked away, your figure growing smaller with every step you took.
i wanted to chase after you. to call out to you.
but i didn’t.
instead, i stayed silent, clutching the words i couldn’t say louder in my chest, where they would remain forever.
you disappeared around the corner, and with that, the last piece of you i had left slipped away.
and all i could do was whisper, too late for you to hear.
“i will miss you.”
November 21
today.
the day that started everything.
it’s strange how vividly i remember it, even after all this time. it feels like it was just yesterday when you walked into the office for the first time, bright eyed and full of energy, ready to take on the world.
i miss you.
a lot.
i don’t know where you are now. i don’t know what your days look like, or how you’re living your life. i don’t know if you’re happy, if you’re struggling, or if you ever think back to those days.
but i know one thing for sure. you’re strong.
no matter how tough things get, you always find a way to smile and keep moving forward, like nothing can hold you back. you don’t dwell on the past, don’t let it weigh you down. you just... keep going.
maybe that’s what i admired about you the most.
maybe that’s why it hurts so much now.
because you were always moving forward, and i was always staying behind.
i think about you every day. the way you smiled, the way your laugh lit up even the dullest corners of the office. i think about how you never seemed to falter, even when things were tough.
but i also remember the small things. the moments when you were quiet, staring out the window like your mind was somewhere else. the way your hands trembled slightly when you were overwhelmed but still tried to keep it together.
i wish i could’ve told you then how much you mattered. how much your presence alone changed everything for me.
but i never did.
and now it’s been so long, and i don’t even know if you remember me. if i was just another face in your story.
maybe i was.
but you were everything in mine.
“hey, taehyung, can you get these copies for me?” jimin’s voice broke through the quiet hum of the office.
“yeah, sure,” i said as he placed the stack on my desk.
he lingered for a moment, his teasing smile creeping onto his face. “you look happy today,” he said, raising a brow. “thinking about someone?”
i looked down, avoiding his gaze. “someone
”
he doesn’t miss a beat, his eyes catching something around my neck. “nice necklace you got there. what is it?”
i held the pendant gently, a faint smile tugging at my lips as i showed it to him.
“uh... a red piece?” he guessed, leaning in to get a better look.
“it’s a flower,” i muttered, my fingers brushing over the broken piece of petal.
he squinted, then tilted his head. “that looks like a piece of broken glass.”
“it is,” i whispered, my voice soft as i stared at it. “beautiful, isn’t it?”
jimin gave me a look, clearly confused, but he didn’t press further. “right, okay.. uh i’ll see you later,” he said, walking away with a shrug.
i closed my eyes, clutching the small, shattered piece in my hand.
even now, i couldn’t forget you.
your eyes.
your laugh.
your cookies.
your smile.
how could i ever forget you?
i would keep you in my heart, even if it hurt. forever.
i hope you’re happy.
i hope you’re smiling the way you always did, bright, warm, as if the world didn’t weigh on your shoulders the way it did on mine.
i hope whoever stands beside you now knows just how lucky they are. i hope they see you for everything you are. your kindness, your strength, the little quirks that make you... you.
and i’m glad
truly glad that..
that day...
i didn't go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like..
i love you.
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📜 permanent taglist:
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solomonomenon · 3 hours ago
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Can you do each skz how they're in bed? <3
how are skz in bed?
⚠ for entertainment purposes only *based on tarot
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𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙜 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣
he’s like the ultimate romantic. he’s all about creating that perfect moment where everything just feels right—emotionally and physically. picture him setting the mood with soft lighting, maybe a cozy atmosphere, and wanting to give you that feeling of connection, satisfaction, and happiness. he’s not rushing it, he wants you to feel cared for, loved, and like you’re in this together. think slow, passionate kisses, wrapped up in each other’s arms, where it’s more than just sex—it’s bonding.
𝙡𝙚𝙚 đ™ đ™Łđ™€đ™Ź
he is serious about his skills. he’s not just jumping into it, this guy knows what he’s doing. he’s the type who’ll take the time to figure out what turns you on, what makes you tick. he’ll remember that one spot on your neck or how you like to be touched and get better every time. it’s all about the little things like making sure you’re comfortable and giving you that satisfied feeling without ever rushing. he might even be the type to get a little creative and try out new things to keep it fresh. no half-assing here, just pure dedication.
𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙗𝙞𝙣
he’s all about pushing boundaries and seeing where the adventure takes him. he’s probably got a bit of a wild side, always looking to try new things—whether it’s different positions, new locations, or just a more daring approach. his energy screams explorer, so in bed, he’s the type to take charge and bring you on an exciting ride. imagine him setting the pace and making sure you’re always craving more, constantly wanting to keep it exciting and fresh. one minute you’re in the moment, and the next, you’re both exploring something completely new. he’s not afraid of a little spontaneity.
𝙝𝙼đ™Ș𝙣𝙟𝙞𝙣
he’s the passionate lover who’s all about making you feel like the only person in the world. he’s probably into the kind of sex that’s intense and romantic at the same time—imagine him showering you with compliments, deeply kissing you like he means it, and setting an emotional tone that makes the entire experience feel electric. he might want to take his time with you, going slow and making sure everything feels right. you’re not just physically there, he wants you to feel that deep, emotional connection. think candle-lit vibes, soft whispers, and him making sure he’s bringing you the ultimate pleasure, body and soul.
𝙝𝙖𝙣
he’s the type who might not say a lot, but you’ll feel everything. he probably doesn’t like to rush into things, he’ll be more focused on the quiet intensity between the two of you. his energy is subtle, but it’s magnetic, like he can sense exactly what you need without even asking. he’s not all about talking, he lets his touch, his eyes, and the chemistry between you speak louder. it’s deep, intuitive, and can feel almost otherworldly like you’re both on the same wavelength, lost in the moment. think of him guiding you into a sensual, almost hypnotic experience where everything feels intimate and natural.
𝙛𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙭
he’s the type who can switch between playful, passionate, and tender without missing a beat. imagine him being spontaneous, one minute he’s teasing you with sweet kisses, the next he’s flipping you over, giving you that rougher energy. he knows how to keep things balanced and exciting, making sure you’re both getting what you need without it ever feeling too much. he’s flexible, adaptable, and knows how to keep things in sync between you two. expect him to keep you on your toes, always switching things up to keep it fresh and never boring.
𝙹𝙚đ™Ș𝙣𝙜𝙱𝙞𝙣
he’s fiery in bed, and he knows it. he’s got that “I know what I want” energy and won’t shy away from showing you just how confident and passionate he can be. he’s probably not the quiet type and he’s more likely to take control, leading the way and making sure you’re both getting exactly what you want. everything he does is purposeful, intense, and you’ll feel that energy building the whole time. picture him teasing you, getting you to beg for more, and giving you that dominant-but-sexy vibe that makes you feel both excited and a little breathless.
đ™Ÿđ™šđ™€đ™Łđ™œđ™žđ™Ł
this guy is a bit more reserved, especially at first. he’s probably not rushing into things, he wants to make sure he’s comfortable and emotionally secure before he fully lets go. he might hold back just a little, but once he feels safe, it’s a different story. he’s probably someone who wants to take care of his partner, making sure you feel stable and taken care of in the moment. expect a slower, more intimate experience, where he’s giving you just as much attention and care as he’s receiving. but don’t mistake the calmness for lack of passion, once he’s fully comfortable, he’s all in.
─── ⋆⋅ ☟⋅⋆ ────── ⋆⋅ ☟⋅⋆ ───
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nikaandtea · 3 hours ago
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jayvik deep dive
i've been off tumblr for so long, but I must now make my return after this finale because HOLYYYYY (of course, arcane s2 spoilers below)
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first off i'd like to preface this by saying that this will be all over the place, as I'm kind of spewing out my thoughts. These two have been my main ship since the very beginning of the show, ever since Viktor became the reason that Jayce pursued hextech. This entire finale I was sitting there with my jaw on the GROUND. We see Viktor's insecurity well back in season one, and that's no surprise. He refuses to walk the stage with Jayce to represent their shared research, he doesn't want to be a bother to the other's uprise in success. But Jayce always was tender and kind to Viktor. When everyone else seemed to brush him off, Jayce saw the determined man within. The night they met and intially made the big breakthrough made Jayce forever bonded to that will and passion within Viktor. He never saw him as an ill man who did science, he saw him as a scientist that was also unfortunately ill. Jayce's world collapsed (i mean just look at his eyes) when he saw Viktor motionless after the explosion. There is NOTHING brotherly about spending days trying to desperately bring him back to life, and growing teary eyed once he returns to him alive. The parrallels between Mel and Viktor as well. Now as for their final encounter in the realm in the end of episode 9, oh boy. The concept of Viktor finding Jayce in countless lifetimes, putting a puzzle together and never seeming to have one final piece for it. Not knowing the only, again, ONLY person who can give that piece; is Jayce himself. Neither of them could finish their journey. Their affection held them together until the very end. Jayce saying how Viktor was always obsessed on fixing the wrongs within himself and helping other do the same. How in the end, Jayce never saw them as that. He saw them only as things that came together to *be* Viktor. The eventually trust you see in Viktor's eyes. "Why do you persist, after everything I've done?" "Because I promised.". They were obviously so terrified of what was going to happen to them, but they had each other. When Viktor was trying to chase greatness, Jayce was chasing after him. It's such a raw display of emotions and connection between them. Viktor softly rubbing Jayce's arm as they go into the unknown, Jayce's hand around his neck. Oh how I wish I could experienece Viktor actually *feeling* Jayce's embrace after being alone for so long. Also the fact that Sky's presence now makes SO much sense, because she knew Viktor wasn't going to miss her. Because she isn't what made Viktor whole, it was Jayce, always. They love each other in every form. They find each other in every universe.
I also want to say they definitely kissed but the budget didn't allow it. It happened, though.
Fanart soon!
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ancha-aus · 2 days ago
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:D :D :D
Spot it is just so good Like amazing! You did such a banger job on it!
And Friend!! I get it! I get the writing spirit sometimes too! (got it now. I am scheming. But it needs to be GOOD so it will be a bit slower than usual :3)
I love that nightmare first made sure they had the basics. and now he can jsut enjoy it and relax while watching them slowly improve. Ngihtmare isn't in a hurry. he feels secure and confident. They can take all the time in the world to improve. Nightmare will support them eveyr step of the way.
I love the differences. Sure them being in sync is cool and awesome. But them all having VEry different styles and specialtise and still being able to work together is even cooler! Because it shows that tehy learned from one another. it shows their personalities and that even if they share the job they have their own way of doing it and that is accepted and worked with!
okay but the idea that killer is seen as a feral animal is fun. Ngihtmare jsut puts them ina room wiht the feral raccoon that is killer and sits back and watches. It always works out great! :D
I love how you show they are also still getting into the rhythm of being with nightamre. of figuring out where they stand. killer is there the longest and most comfrotable. the others are getting there wiht cross needing the most time. (he was a spy. he still feels guilty) and that is okay. they aren't in a hurry.
And yes! nightmare gives positive reinforcement. It is important for them to be motivated to learn and keep trying.
The bed time is honestly so cute. it is a nice little forshadow but also it is such a nice look into nightmare. the way that his child self is still in there. because he enver truly completed the ritual (something something about killing someone making you lose your innocence. so the whole ritual with the killing part was meant to truly shut down the child part of yourself and only leave the power with your slight thought process.)
by still including little nightmare to influence big nightmare. it makes it so that it is celar and nightmar never truly ascended that last bit. he rose above yes. but he never became a true god by losing his childhood and humanity by killing for power. and that is where and why nightmare was different.
And then he is a child againa dn immediantly be went back to his child reflexes. there isn't even him trying to do what he would with magic. it is just him. it has always just been him. he jsut had more magic and a way to use the magic to protect himself without even needing to think about it.
but that is gone. all that is left is jsut nightmare. so he immediantly does what he always did. he fawns. he freezes in fear. he waits nd is quiet as he is terrified. He waits to see what happens as he tries to keep that fear and worry inside.
Bud!! The way nightmare lost all sense. it was so good because it was the magic! The magic was making him able to feel emotions. to feel the world around him. to even SEE it. because the magic was also in his eye lights. it was covering his sockets. it makes sense he loses all his senses before slowly regaining them. Because the goop and magic took care of it all. and now he went back to his old and normal senses.
Okay the fact that in his moment of disbalance that nightmare immediantly reached for killer. without even meanign to. his instinct was to reach out and get help. and that is beautiful. The trust nightmare has in his knights. the way they answered that by offering help and trying everything they can.
The fact that horror wanted to stay and help. try and do first aid before anything else. but killer realising that nightmare i sMELTING. realises that even if the kngihts and ccino don't interact much (ccino would love to interact more but they are limited) killer KNOWS that ccino would know. if anyone knows it is ccino. (killer has seen ccino put nightmare back together enough to know that for certain. That ccino most likely knows nightmare better than nightmare even knows himself and maybe maybe killer is still a tiny bit jealous about that but he doesn't let it interfere. He loves ccino too much and he respects and cares for nightmare too much to let that happen)
nightmare may not realise it... but he is very clearly the tiny skeleton. the babybones they saw on the trapestry. Nightmare may not realise it but he looks so painfully young. The knights know of course about the story. the fact that nightmare hadn't been meant to take the power but he did. they know generally what happened... but to see it?
it is one thing to know your boss took part in a ritual when he was 13 to became a being who could rival the gods in power.
It is another thing to see this tiny hurt babybones staring at you. shaking and exhausted. a crack in his skull (which they later learn had been done by his own twin. after ngihtmare tried to help him by taking the apple that before the goop fully solidified that dream hadHIT him. hard enough to crack his skull).
Like... they knew... but now they have this tiny tiny babybones in their mids. hurt confused and so so scared.
And nightmare meanwhile? the bbay is confused. he is fawning and falling over and he can't pick a side between trust or fear. he is so used to always having to pick fear before when he was little. he trusted his knights when big yes but his knights swore loyalty to him as an adult. he isn't an adult anymore so the oath doens't count anymore and what if they don't want to help him? what if the onyl reason they didn't leave was because nightmare could get them things?
and then ccino walks in.
I like that ccino wasn't even sure WHY he was here. all he knew was that somethign was wrong with nightmare. He tries to act as if he is just loyal but that is STILL his little brother! (no ccino doesn't care nightmare was now technically bigger, older and more powerful than him. ccino is the big brother in this relationship) ((picture the meme of 'he asked for no pickles' with ccino saying it and nightmare (adult form) next/behind him))
So he isn't even sure what is wrong and thinks the worst because why else would they ge thim and-
and then he sees his little brother. the little babybones he has been taken care of since nightmare was born. His little baby brother.
So in that moment. the wall breaks. There is grief but such happiness and ccino just wants to grab him but he still knows he still thinks and plans because that is what he does. he needs to plan and make sure it is easiest for nightmare. so he sits down adn gives the choice to his little brother. maybe he doesn't want a hug? maybe he doens't want to be touched?
and nightmare is in his arms. clearly not watning to be anywhere but there. Ccino just holding him as he barely holds himself together.
ccino straight up holding EVERYTHING together all the time and honestly it is a surprise he hasn't had a giant break down yet. it is waiting to happen and it just keeps building and building. (old habits die hard. ccino wasn't allowed to process before and then ngihtamre took over and at first ccino needed to keep it together for him and then he just... never allowed himself to relax because he needs to be ready in case he is needed.)
I think? honestly?
The followup? would be most interesting to go from the POV of the knights.
because we know that ccino would just be so relieved and happy to hold nightmare. but ccino and nightmare are also the guys with the most knowledge. so the unknowing nature of the guys? their thoughts and reactions when they learn more? that would be so interesting
New Age AU (The Magic Retreats)
Hi guys!!! So, I wrote this one in a fit of passion, but here's a brief take 2 on the most important chapter of the fic and the first one I posted! (In which Night becomes Tiny again :] ) As always this drabble is unedited and un-checked so uhh. Good luck!
(HI @ancha-aus , @papiliovolens , and @mutzelputz welcome back!)
   The days felt like they were growing longer again. Maybe it was the change of the seasons, or the workload ramping up again making his nights bleed into his mornings. No matter the case, Nightmare was lucky to have moments of rest from his endless piles of debts and taxes and laws and requests that were strewn all about his office. They were nice, neat, piles now, but they seemed to be an endless cycle. He'd solve one problem and it would result in a new report of catastrophe somewhere else.
   Often, he wondered whether it was that his Mother's ruling style had truly worked, or if she'd ignored it. After all, she'd been a God amongst mortals, why would she care for a few challenged livelihoods amidst her paradise?
   The sharp clash of metal on magic drew Nightmare's attention back to the present. Against all odds, he'd managed to convince Cross to start training his sword again. When Cross had first started getting lessons to properly control his magic, harnessing even whisps of Nightmare's own spells on occasion, he'd quickly neglected his physical training. Over the last few weeks, Nightmare had voiced his worry that Cross might find himself up against another foe like Dust. One who he couldn't simply control. He needed to re-learn his old battle tactics. Only then, he'd promised, they would move on to harnessing both at once.
   So, now, he was sparring against Horror in the training room. Nightmare sat off to the side on the benches, Dust and Killer on either side of him watching intently. Two of his tendrils hovered readily before him, ready to pounce to intercept any wayward attacks or truly dangerous intent, though he trusted his Knight to not put his newest comrade in any real danger. The other two tendrils lay lax behind the bench, curling comfortably beneath where his other Knights sat at his sides.
   These were the sorts of daily distractions he enjoyed. Which pulled him away from the stress of the papers and the outside world. He could focus solely on his charges and how best to help them. They helped him so often, he just wanted to return the favor.
   His eyelight followed the movements, as Horror stayed more or less right on Cross's tail. His axe swung slower than normal, and it was obvious he was taking the training seriously without giving Cross a heart-attack from the force of his normal blows. It wasn't often Nightmare allowed them to pair up precisely because of that. Horror had no magic for Cross to control, none that would help him at least. Meanwhile, Horror's brute strength could snap Cross like a twig if something were to go slightly awry.
   A swing of the axe, Cross's longsword cracking against the handle as he blocked. A push-off, sending Cross back a few steps before he swung. Missed. The axe was on him again, this time towards his side. Cross jumped over it, swung his sword. Missed again. The axe came in again, from above. A narrow block, one which forced Cross to his knee, before Horror let up.
   Horror was simply a marvel of physical combat. He hadn't been a good fighter when Nightmare met him, but he'd learned very quickly. From watching the guards, from listening to Nightmare. Though, Nightmare was almost positive Killer had actually been his biggest influence. Killer, the cockpit, single Knight at that time. He'd taken Dust under his supervision at the time, practically heading the dismantling of the crime rings Dust knew so well all on his own. Meanwhile, Nightmare was working with Horror to understand how to fix the farming situation across the kingdom. Once things settled, and Nightmare expressed interest in having Horror stick around, it was Killer who showed off in combat training. Horror spun off his feet and pushed off his hands in the way expected of a much smaller, leaner, monster. Very similar to how Killer fought when he was playing around.
   It was evidently too unfamiliar for Cross. He'd been taught formal swordplay, but here in this kingdom? That was about as useful as playing with a slingshot and trying to operate a trebuchet. It seemed similar, but it could only get one so far.
   Cross had been steadily improving, of course. Just a year or so ago, Cross had been besting all the rest of the royal guard out on the training field. But placed against Killer, the best of the best at practical combat, no holds bar? He'd fumbled. Now, Nightmare knew Cross could hold his own against his proudest Knight. That meant a lot in such a short time. Pride filled his chest at the thought, as he watched the two of them clash again and again.
   He knew his time was running short for today. He'd had Dust and Killer work on their team-building and attack him earlier on in training while Cross and Horror were warming up. As he already knew, they were chatty, but very efficient in their coordination.
   "On your left!" Killer would call out. Dust would simply duck as Killer instead vaulted over his head as though emerging from the shorter Knight's shadow, knife in hand, glowing red with energy.
   Killer's use of deceptive verbal cues was a talent he'd come up with all his own. Nightmare remembered him pestering Dust over it every dinner for a week after he'd first thought of it. Dust had seemed annoyed at first, but Nightmare could tell after the first session of them trying it out, against him? He'd been unaware, and if his magic didn't work separate from his mind on occasion, they would have gotten him in the first two minutes.
   They'd used it again earlier, and even after several years it still kept Nightmare on his toes. He figured that was why he felt tired as he watched the two locked in mock battle before him. The cognitive challenges did tend to make his socket heavy with sleep. And he hated to admit it, but he always knew about when to end their afternoon trainings, because it lined up with when his mind would start to lag. Even years later, his body still seemed to respond to the familiar draw of a long-discarded bed time.
   He'd let them exchange a few more blows, before calling it off and ushering them all off to clean up before dinner. Even if he knew only Cross and Dust would go wash up. Horror would go change out of his training gear into clean clothes, he hated to look messy at the dinner table, abd Killer would simply stick to his side like glue.
   It never was a point of complaint, he appreciated the commitment, but sometimes he really did wish he'd at least take a moment to swap clothes. Sometimes he tracked all sorts of dirt and scraps of magic out of the training room and into the halls.
   Mm. The clashing seemed to have reached a rhythm. That meant Cross had gotten familiar with Horror's movement patterns again. It never lasted long, Horror was very adaptable, but it did mean that Cross would be locked into the stalemate now, or it'd be an easy defeat for Horror. Better to call it now and send them off with a bit of praise. They never ceased to impress him, they'd all grown so much.
   "Alright, end the match." he called. It didn't take hardly a moment for the order to register after his voice carried to the two monsters.
   Cross was the first to pull away, with Horror letting his swing fall short and his Axe's momentum swing up and into the air. He caught the grip and almost immediately stuffed it back into its own holster along his back. Cross sheathed his sword, and while a bit out of breath, he still grinned triumphantly and bowed amicably to Horror. Horror returned it with a nod. Their little ritual.
   "Wonderful work today, all of you." Nightmare announced, his front two tendrils slinking back to his sides as they no longer had danger to be hyper aware of. To defend against. "Tomorrow, I want to see you two spar again, I believe you are making great leaps in progress, Cross. Dust will provide you both with terrain obstacles in the form of erratic magic attacks to simulate a more turbulent battle field and provide Horror with more opportunity to practice dodging." The suggestion seemed well-recieved, and Nightmare let his good eyelight turn to Killer, who sat grinning beside him. "Killer, you and I will be doing more endurance training for your magic."
   "Looking forward to it, my Lord," Killer replied.
   That made Nightmare chuckle a bit. Once upon a time, Killer would tense up at the premise of magic training. Then, as he grew bolder, groan at the mention. He was not proficient in the sort of magic Cross, Dust, or he himself relied on, but his preferred weapon was a knife or two summoned by his own soul. Since it was magic, Nightmare insisted he learn to better sustain and alter it rather than letting it atrophy in the wake of his extensive physical training. Now, seeing him grin lazily at the idea, not a worry weighing on his soul? It made Nightmare feel a lot more justified in making the rambunctious Knight do the more "boring" practical training.
   "If we understand what to expect for the afternoon tomorrow, then you are dismissed. I will see you all at dinner," he declared. Humor filled his chest at the warmth which rolled off his knights at the mention of food. Dinner was always cooked by Ccino, and Ccino was the best cook. Nightmare would know.
   He watched as Cross gave a little salute before he turned on his heel to begin to follow Horror's lumbering gait towards the heavy doors separating this room from the hall. The newest Knight's voice was quiet, but excitable as he started to reflect on his techniques to Horror. He always debriefed after a training.
   Beside him, Dust swung forward off the bench and landed silently, already moving to follow the other two. His body-language always seemed disgruntled, and his expression was hidden under his darkened hood, but Nightmare knew he was pleased with his work tonight. Content with what he had accomplished.
   "Cross is gettin' a lot faster." Killer's voice was calm beside him, and Nightmare followed the other's hollow gaze to where the other three were discarding their gear, hanging it up on the racks near the door where they always stored the supplies.
   Four spaces, one for each knight. Killer had gouged his name into the wooden base of his own years ago.
   "I agree." Nightmare let one of his tendrils wrap at the ground around a leg of the bench. "It helps that he is eager and willing to improve on his skills. And that he has others to lean on as he continues to learn."
   Killer's scoff quickly devolved into a laugh at the thinly veiled praise. It wasn't unusual of him to slip it into conversation. A quick, gentle nudge of praise. Acknowledgement and appreciation. Killer had heard to most of it, and Nightmare often worried he'd find it insincere.
   As far as he knew, he never did.
   "You should go put up your armor as well." Nightmare suggested, nudging at Killer's back with a tendril.
  
   "Yes, sir." Killer chimed, the sharpness of his laughter still on his tongue.
   Nightmare rose simply, and Killer pushed off the bench with a quick hop. His feet planted, and Nightmare waited for him to take a step towards where the others were before moving to follow. It felt right, to see them all in one spot. Relaxed.
   He moved to follow Killer's quick steps, only... All at once his vision seemed to double, and he halted himself. He could feel his tendrils lash out, moving to stabilize him against the floor of the training room. He still stood upright, just barely, but it seemed all his balance had left him. Instinctively, in a fit of habit, he shut his good socket and took a moment. The swaying feeling he was gripped by, even after a deep breath an counting to five, did not fade. The darkness which usually seemed to calm him only seemed to make the swaying worse. He could not tell if the motion was coming from him, or I the ground beneath him was shifting like the deck of a boat. Without his vision he couldn't orient up versus down, let alone find his stability again.
   Opening his good socket provided him with orientation, though his vision still danced and swirled. He was looking down, down towards the brick ground, from the space behind his palm. When did he place his hand to his socket? The view included his legs, which he recognized now were shaking, and his tendrils which were trying to hold him in place.
   And...
   He jolted at the contact he could see but hadn't felt in the slightest. He skull reeled up so that he could see who had touched him. One hand on his elbow. The other- when did he grab Killer's arm? When had Killer turned around to look at him? Why was Killer looking at him like that?
   It was Killer, who had ahold of him, though he couldn't feel the Knight's touch, and he couldn't tell if he was gripping the other's arm at all. Though he was, he could see it.
   His vision warped again with the quick movement. A desperate bid to look past Killer. Was there a threat? The blurry form of Dust shot past him, he thought. Horror and Cross still seemed to be by the door.
   The ceiling. Why was he looking at the ceiling? No, wait, the floor now. It grew closer, in the space between himself and Killer, as the opening for him to see it grew smaller. Then he couldn't see it at all, his vision replaced swiftly by- training gear. The leather smell invaded his senses as the rest failed him. He couldn't feel Killer, though he knew the knight was near to him. That, as far as he could tell, Killer had caught him. That he'd sunken to the ground under his own weight.
   Why?
   His socket wasn't being helpful. It seemed, from what he saw, that his tendrils were trying to melt away as they moved errantly to slap onto Killer's back or the ground beyond. Surely that wasn't right? His tendrils had never wavered. He shut his socket again, letting his skull sink into the training armor again.
   It didn't occur to him for a few moments, that he couldn't hear his knights, until he suddenly could.
   The voices were loud and grating, breaking his wobbling darkness once again as he tried to force his socket back open. What was wrong with him?
   "Horror, I said go get Ccino! Now!" Killer. He'd know that voice anywhere, though he didn't like the angry tone. Like fire spitting from his tongue seemingly right above Nightmare's skull. "This isn't some sort of test, I- I don't know what this is. It can't be good."
   Nightmare tried to reach out. Not physically, it felt he still couldn't control his limbs. No, he tried to sense. Did the others know what was wrong with him? Was the rising panic in his chest originating from his own emotions or theirs? Had... had one of them done something?
   No, it wasn't them.
   "Shit." Somewhere behind him, he heard Dust's voice hiss. "His magic levels are dropping. And fast."
   For a second, Nightmare was stunned. What did he mean his magic levels were dropping? Though, it made sense. Somewhere deep in his chest he could feel it, the swaying motion as his magic tried to peel away from his bones. He-
   "What do you-" Killer still sounded frustrated, and he too spat an expletive a moment later.
   Nightmare, for the briefest moment, thought he felt touch again against his skull. He let his blurry socket fall closed again, the vision only worsening as his magic rocked with unseen waves of revulsion.
   "Cross, try to grab his magic," Killer ordered.
   The familiar splattering of the young Night would've been comforting, if the suggestion didn't fill him with dread. Killer knew better than that. They'd agreed Cross could only touch on controlling his magic. Nothing more. It was too vast.
   "W-what! I- I shouldn't-" Cross attempted to stammer a defense, but Killer was quicker with words. Always had been.
   "Just try. Now. Hold it in place and see if it stablizes." The command was a lot more controlled than the previous one, but his tone was leaving no room for error. "When the King and Ccino are unavailable, I'm in charge. Listen to me."
   Nightmare had never heard Killer take charge in such a way before, and in his haze he might've written it off as a product of his imagination. All of this being some sort of weird hallucination. But he felt the invasive force of Cross' magic snake over his bones.
   He'd felt it before, a sort of blanket or hand-hold aimed at the ends if his tendrils which could make them twitch a bit with Cross's own will. This time he felt it creep up the length of his spine and dig unseen claws into his shoulder blades. He could feel it, just like he could now feel Killer's chin and shoulder, where his skull had been tucked. He could feel the hand supporting his back, the other his side. He felt limp as the forceful magic washed over him.
   Nightmare gagged.
   Cross's magic caught on something, like a hook finding the fish, and for a brief few moments, Nightmare felt like he had a ball of gunk in his non-existant gut. Something heavy and feral, trying to escape.
   For just a moment, he regained a breath of awareness. He felt his Knight supporting his weight, he felt the nakedness of his back where his tendrils had completely abandoned him, he felt the emotions of the three still with him. Fear. Confusion. Anger. He didn't like it much. He still couldn't move his limbs.
   And just as quickly as it was stable, the hold on the wild magic slipped away. Like the fish had broken the string.
   It flowed up, like the force of a dam finally released. Through his ribcage, past his shoulders where Cross's magic seemed to dissipate all at once, into his mouth.
   Nightmare regained some semblance of control over his body at that moment. As the magic seemed to rush towards freedom. He shoved away from Killer all at once, the chill of the stone hitting his palms heavily and his socket opening if only to watch as he lost it. That dark, thick, sticky magic that had marked him as a bad omen. That had gifted him the power to rule in place of his twin. Protect those he loved.
    It spilled to the stone before him, and he was stunned to watched that, as he heaved suddenly labored breaths, it sunk away. Disappeared. Just like that, instead of his familiar darkness, the protective shield, the instinctive defense he had grown to know, he was staring at the floor. And the space in which his wobbling arms hid under too-big sleeves, and from the cuffs escaped perfect, pearly-white bone. Bone he could never seem to reach no matter how hard he scrubbed with water and soap. Bones that seemed so frail in the torchlight.
   "My king?"
   Nightmare let his eyelight raise from the ground. It wasn't as wobbly anymore, his vision slowly coming back to normal. He still took his time trailing from the ground, to look at Killer's pants. He was on his knees, hardly an arm's length away. Then the edges of his chestplate. His arms were outstretched, hovering barely away from touching Nightmare. He shook at the closeness, but didn't dare try to move. Killer's soul was wobbling. Nightmare's boww furrowed at the sight. It was very small, but he'd always notice the little changes and moves. Though, he noticed an absence of something at the back of his skull as he stared. Something missing.
   Killer's face was last. He looked serious, his dark sockets not a new sight, but Nightmare hardly saw Killer so serious. He'd seen the look before. Usually when he'd see someone bothering Ccino. It had always been brief, quickly disguised under his patented sadistic grin. Killer just watched him now. As though he was sone glass sculpture ready to tip off the end of the table.
   He hated, as he stared, that he couldn't- he could feel-
   He tried to shift, to whip his head to look for the knight he knew should've been behind him. And he was right, of course. A glimpse of Dust's shadowed skull and tense body-language told Night he was on high-alert, but Nightmare hadn't been able to feel him. Hadn't sensed his presence at all. No emotions, no aura, no nothing.
  
   "Woah, steady!" Killer yelped as Nightmare felt himself tilt.
   Looking up at Dust had disoriented him. The weight distribution was different now. His body listed to the side, and he flinched when arms wrapped around at his sides and tugged his upper half onto soft fabric. Killer's legs. Killer had caught him.
   "My king, Nightmare, it's you, right?" He sounded the same. Something told Nightmare he was uncertain.
   "Y-" His attempt to speak was short-lived. His voice wasn't right. It was high-pitched and raw. All the rumble and low tones entirely missing. He couldn't be sure if he stopped on account of keeping his pride alive, or if he feared speaking in a voice he hadn't heard in years.
   It didn't help that he couldn't feel them. No matter how much he tried, the only feeling in his chest was his own solitary anxiety. Balling up tighter and tighter, an old friend come home again. If he could tell what they were thinking- if he could know if he was safe...
   He bit back his panic, holding in the weakness which was threatening to give him away. Though, what else was there to give? If he was right, then the prophecy had finally rejected him. Left him as an offering to a pack of wolves.
   Nightmare knew he was shaking, but some irrational part of him thought that if he kept his socket shut that this would all be some absurd night terror and he'd wake up cozy in his bed, or exhausted at his desk, or maybe passed out on the floor. Somewhere else. Anywhere else.
  
   "What's wrong?" That voice was deeply familiar, and all at once Nightmare felt like he had a surge of strength. "Why did Horror rush me back here? Where is our King?" It was Ccino. He sounded more frustrated than anything else, but he didn't need to feel his emotions to know the rise to his tone. The worry buried there.
   "We finished training and everything was fine," Killer explained, tone as even as he could muster, "But when we were on our way out, he just collapsed."
   Nightmare pitied him, having to tell Ccino any sort of bad news. Nightmare didn't think as he attempted again to shove himself up. If only to catch a glimpse of Ccino.
   As he peered barely over Killer's shoulder, he saw what the others did. Ccino had some sort if flour or wheat all down the front of his nice apron, and a few streaks along the thighs of hid pants from where he'd probably wiped his hands along the way. His expression was a mix of concern and fury that set Nightmare's soul into a pretzel-twist of regret, and his eyelights scanned the room as he rapidly approached Killer. Obviously looking for answers.
   Only, Ccino arrived to Killer's side, and his growing rage seemed to stop all at once, alongside his steps. He stared down at Nightmare with wide eyes. Nightmare stared up at him wearily. The king's sockets were beginning to water. Ccino's expression, the way his balled fists twitched and relaxed, the way he seemed to lose all the tension I'm his body, just getting a glimpse at him. Ccino recognized his face, no doubt about it.
   "Nightmare?" Ccino's voice was small.
   Nightmare fumbled a bit as he tried to launch away from Killer. Having Ccino so close to him simply... broke whatever had been holding back the emotional damage within. It didn't help in the slightest when Ccino crouched and immediately tugged him away from Killer and into a gentle bear-hug there on the floor.
   For the first time, in a very long time, he found that the welling of tears in his sockets didn't result in dark, tarlike, goop that fell in chunks down his skull. This time the tears were real, a transparent lilac which raced down his cheeks abd planted themselves against the fabric of Ccino's tunic and apron. He wasn't wearing his fur, he was smart like that.
   Ccino's arms wrapped around his back like they always did, and Nightmare felt himself slipping. Ccino was safe. He had always been safe.
   Nightmare didn't have time to begin sobbing as he had expected, or to even begin to hyperventilate into Ccino's shirt or curl into a ball against his chest. The moment Ccino nuzzled the side of his skull, his vision went blurry again.
   At the tightening of Ccino's grip, he heard Dust's voice again. "Magic-loss. A lot of it." Faintly rolled into his mind like a distance voice two doors over. He didn't quite catch when Killer started to speak again, or Ccino worriedly said his name. Dust was right, the magic was gone. Out of nowhere. It was a lot for his little body to handle.
#friend i already know i missed stuff in my reply but i am going nuts and i got ideas and AAAAAAAH#Also. I had another thought.#You know how we said that ccino wasn't allowed to be hurt because he had to be pretty and shit?#what if. That wasn't per se the case?#he jsut needed to be able to heal. he wasn't allowed PERMANENT marks.#and you kow how ccino is VERY much like 'this isn't my cat' or 'these cats aren't mine'?#My thought.#ccino once found a hurt cat on castle grounds.#he managed to get it to his room and helped it heal.#he tried to release it into the wild but well. cats love ccino.#the cat keeps sneaking back inside. and ccino keeps moving it outside.#eventually it goes wrong.#someone sees and snitches and well.#ccino is in trouble for bringing vermin into the castle.#he tries to explain he was just moving it outside but well. Nim doens't believe him.#nim thinks for a while. thinking hard before deciding. The back isn't that much in view anyway.#whip lashes will do. BUT!#between each lash. the old wounds need to be healed over before the next.#Which just meant it took AGES and AGES to heal the lash so they wouldn't scar#and his back would be barely healed and very sensitive from the lashes and the healing magic#so yeah.#the lesson stuck.#Ccino doesn't have any cats. he doens't know how they keep getting inside.#Ngihtmare doesn't know this happened. (nim made sure these kind of things stayed out of the twins view)#Ccino KNOWS it is fine now. that nightmare would never. but there is still the reaction.#he still loves nad adores cats however. (it also means even more that he kept the kitten killer gave him)#(as for the original cat? well... you already mentioned they were used for sacrifices.)#yes. ccino still feels awful about it.#okay that was it. that was my guy punch for the evening
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fangomango · 1 year ago
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Any weather that isn't super hot is rather romantic to me
Like it may be heavily pouring but all I want to do is take you outside and absorb the rain like a cactus
Texas for the sake of my now single life make every day not hot so I can think about my otps
:) thank you
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transmechanicus · 9 days ago
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Living alone and so far from my family and closest friends is really really rEALLY hard
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#interesting interpretation #when I first played this game as a young child I didn’t think too deeply about scenes like this#but playing this game and the other zelda games as an adult makes me now notice things that flew over my head as a kid #I interpret this scene as kind of what Midna said to Link #like I feel like after Link is sitting here and witnessing all this he feels sad and lonely #like this is the first time he’s seen his friends since he got kidnapped and he’s right there in front of him but nobody even knows #and even if they could see him they’d be scared and start running because he looks like a beast #so I imagine Link is feeling a mix of emotions #relief that his friends are safe but lonely because they’re talking about him and he’s actually there but nobody can see him #and probably frustration and a sense of powerlessness because he sees how scared they are and wants to comfort them#but there is literally nothing he can do until he finds the light spirit and hope the shadow beasts don’t find them
No need to hide this in the tags, friend. I love this interpretation as well and agree. I would certainly feel a mix of emotions here, and that might be why the animators decided to leave his expression more blank than anything. After all, even in wolf form, they were probably able to give him more of a reaction if they wanted.
I like that you bring up the powerlessness. Think back to the opening segment of the game, where we see Link going through the motions of his life at home. If we take it of being indicative of normalcy, he is used to being able to solve his problems and see the fruits of his labor. Finding Uli's baby cradle, stopping a stampeding goat, catching a fish for Sera's cat, etc. Then in the first sign of things going wrong, when Talo goes missing into the woods, Link successfully saves him immediately upon finding him.
Here is a completely different situation. I like the sense of urgency you stress as well. He's found his friends, but he hasn't saved them yet. He wants nothing more than to see them safe. He accidentally pushed Epona too hard trying to find Talo. He rushed after Ilia and Colin after being attacked by the Bulblins despite not having his sword anymore. He's a bit reckless in the beginning, but the safety of those he cares about / the weak and innocent is paramount to him. When he can't immediately fulfill that wish, you can imagine what he feels.
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This is one of those moments where Twilight Princess feels like a modern (for the time) successor to Ocarina of Time. Not in the superficial ways that everyone cites, but by using the camera to flesh the subtext of Link's emotions.
I wish I had screenshots of it, but I'm thinking of the scene in OoT where Link returns to the Sacred Forest Meadow as adult and the camera lingers on the stump where Saria used to be. The camerawork serves an obvious purpose: make sure the player knows Saria is missing. But it also serves to give a glimpse into what Link is thinking. He is dwelling on the fact that his friend is not where he expected her to be. He feels the passage of time, that things which used to be certain no longer are. This is something that would be lost if the camera didn't behave the way it did.
Twilight Princess is a lot more generous than OoT generally when it comes to showing Link's emotions. It may be due to the limit on his facial expressions as a wolf, but it is difficult to parse what he is feeling here at first. But the camera could have focused on Colin the whole time. Instead, after he says his bit, it switches to Link. It reminds the player that Link is there, but it is also telling the player to think about what Link is feeling while he witnesses this.
(actually, my screenshots don't do justice to the scene because after Colin says the first bit, the other characters silently react in their own ways before he finishes and the camera switches to Link)
Midna says something afterward to the effect of "wow, sure sucks that your friends don't even know you're there and won't remember that you saved them." And yeah, maybe that is exactly what Link is thinking. But Midna is also an unreliable narrator, at least in the beginning. She's selfish and looks down on Link for being as kind and selfless as he is. She might be projecting onto him. What if that's what she would feel if she were in Link's position?
I think there's truth in what she says, but I think Link has more going on up there here. He reflecting on how he is watching his timid young friend hold onto hope and comfort a girl who is normally not particularly kind to him. He's proud of Colin, but is upset that he can't show it. Plenty of other times in the game, Link shows his affection for Colin through just a simple smile, which the younger Ordon kids hardly afford him. Link wants to smile at Colin, but even if he could be seen, he would be a terrifying beast to him. But hey, maybe I'm projecting.
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serenuum · 26 days ago
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can you believe they just. they just filmed it and then kept it a secret for four years. do you think they have more. do they have more plans
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flickeringflame216 · 2 months ago
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🗒
#blessings roll call!#feel free to hop in the tags or replies <3#started my new job this week-- working as a PT tech at a rehab clinic#that training is going well and it's such a blessing to not have to be actively searching for a job during the semester#since I've got a very full class schedule trying to find time to apply and interview would be a nightmare rn#so grateful that got done literally right before the semester picked up#and now I can focus on learning the job. also praise that all my coworkers are kind and patient.#school is going better than expected. there's a lot to do but so far I'm doing really well in all my classes#and singing in choir has been such a joy!#we have so many gorgeous pieces including a Sara Teasdale poem arranged for chorale#it sounds heavenly! the solo is lovely and the alto part is a lot of sustained notes that come together with the other parts to make this#insane almost organ-like sound#got to chat with my bestie today at my other job which was good#homemade soup!#food in general actually. The first week or two of the semester I was subsisting on nothing or junk food#and got to the point where I was starting to feel like crap and went grocery shopping#I've been bringing meals to college and work the last 2 weeks and it's made such a difference!#and I missed eating vegetables and actually getting protein so now I have nutrient-dense meals and it's great#actually getting close to enough sleep and it's been great#talked to my grandparents about visiting over Christmas break and they're down so I might be going to see them soon!#hanging out with my sister a bit more now that we drive to school together#despite being super busy it's been a good month. ups and downs but overall the best September I've had in a while#prayer request-- the one thing I haven't been consistent with is my quiet times.#definitely struggling in that area right now. please pray I can spend time in worship and prayer and study even when I don't feel like it <#college chronicles#journal
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miamicommune · 4 months ago
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it's been so long since ive been even slightly optimistic abt the future
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buckbuckleybegins · 2 days ago
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God i hope this is around what you imagined. This prompt tugged at my angst loving ass 😭
‱
Christopher has always been the elephant in the room since he left. The one topic that sticks in Buck’s throat whenever he considers bringing it up due to the fact that he can tell Eddie is suffering—even when he acts like he isn’t.
It’s been months now since that day Eddie’s parents showed up at his door to take Chris away from him
 away from Buck. And Buck always feels so guilty whenever he thinks this because
 as much as he loves and misses him, Chris has never truly been his. Even if Eddie’s made him his godfather, writing Buck’s name in his will
 Chris isn’t his. He’s Eddie’s. And whatever feeling of loneliness, emptiness, and hurt he feels whenever he enters Eddie’s house and isn’t greeted by those curls full of laughter, smarts, and love—Buck knows Eddie feels it a hundred times stronger.
“I need to take him back,” Eddie says, still pacing around his living room. Buck—sitting on the couch after Eddie called him, urgently asking him to come over—wants to stop him, grab him by the arms and ground him before he spirals into a panic attack. Because Eddie looks frantic, terrified. He’s staring at nothing in particular with wide eyes, sweat glistening from whatever terrible thought his imagination is serving him in that moment. “He can’t—he can’t stay there, Buck. I can’t lose him.”
“Okay,” Buck says, calm and steady. For the first time since he’s arrived, Eddie looks at him—teary-eyed and scared out of his mind. And God, Buck can barely meet his gaze without feeling the exact same emotions crawl up his own throat.
“What do we do?”
Eddie pauses, covers his face with his hands, and looks like he wants to scream but instead just sobs. Buck’s heart shatters into a million pieces at the sound.
When Eddie’s hands fly off his face, he looks at Buck with a different expression. It’s still sad, but now there’s a quiet, simmering resolution that wasn’t there before.
“I’m going to Texas,” he says, looking Buck right in the eyes. “I’m going to take my son back.”
Buck feels his throat tighten at Eddie’s words, and this time, it’s his brain conjuring images after images of things he really wishes will never happen. But Eddie is suffering, and his suffering takes priority over whatever fear of abandonment Buck could ever feel. So Buck just nods and helps Eddie pack his bags.
—
There’s a sense of dĂ©jĂ  vu when they reach the airport, and Buck quickly pushes it aside—or tries to, at least. Because it comes back once again, a million times stronger, as he looks at Eddie’s frame just outside the glass doors, bags in hand, ready to leave.
Ready to leave him—
But Eddie looks back. A smile on his face and a thank you on his lips. Buck wants to grab him by the hand, pull him away, and tell him not to go. Not to leave him as well, just like everyone else in his life because this time he doesn’t know if he will survive it.
But Buck doesn’t. Because Chris is away, Eddie is suffering, and Chris and Eddie have always been his priority. Is their happiness as important as yours? Buck remembers and he loudly declares to himself that yes, it is. Their happiness is so much more important than his.
Eddie notices, though. He always does. Buck never has to speak for Eddie to understand him. It’s kind of their thing. Their BuckandEddie thing. No words needed when you understand each other to the core.
Eddie takes a few steps toward him, lets his bag fall to the ground, and—does something unexpected. He unclasps the St. Christopher medallion from his neck, slipping it around Buck’s. His hand lingers there, warm and grounding, as if passing on a promise.
“I’ll be back,” Eddie says, a soft smile on his lips, full of this newfound determination. “We’ll be back,” he corrects himself.
Buck nods, smiles back, and he can’t stop the tears from falling down.
But, still? Still, he believes him. He believes that Eddie will be back, Chris in hand and happy.
And he keeps that thought close to his chest, his hand clasped around the medallion—the promise Eddie just made him. This time, he believes it. This time, he knows he won’t be abandoned again.
So um.. does anyone wanna maybe write a fic where Eddie goes to Texas to get Chris and buck ‘abandonment issues’ Buckley is feeling anxious that Eddie won’t come back and then Eddie takes off the st Christopher medal from his neck and puts it on bucks as like a symbolic thing to tell him he will (cos buck will be like I can’t- then Eddie is like this way you can just give it back to me next time you see me ) and they have a momentâ„ąïž?
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cannibal-nightmares · 9 months ago
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"madness" but it's just me violently kicking my prompt list around a room like a box of clattering dishware. there's 112+ ideas now. every day i add handfuls more. what do you mean the brake line has been cut?
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fantasticgothicpeachsludge · 1 year ago
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Anyone else still fucking pissed that the Duffers decided to erase Kali’s fucking existence just because the fanboys didn’t like that one episode? Gotta say feels racist and misogynistic as fuck
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