#just like a mention of her being unique and different then the other kids

[fantasticgothicpeachsludge]

Anyone else still fucking pissed that the Duffers decided to erase Kali’s fucking existence just because the fanboys didn’t like that one episode? Gotta say feels racist and misogynistic as fuck

[imaginesfordifferentfandoms]

It Was Love

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Prompt - "May I have this dance?"

When Lex had been forced to Smallville you were devastated, forbidden from following after him and ordered to stay in Metropolis with your father. You had lasted longer there than anyone thought you would, Lionel wasn’t foolish enough to believe you wouldn’t follow Lex eventually even with the threat of being cut off but it was two months before you used the private helicopter to leave your comfortable life in Metropolis and headed to Smallville.

The town was unlike anything you were used to, Metropolis was big, it was busy, there was always something to do. You found yourself missing the city, missing the bustle of the crowds and being able to blend in, at the boarding school nobody cared much that you were a Luthor, most of the kids there came from money and power but Smallville High was different, you were different.

Lex welcomed you with open arms, having been waiting for the time to come where you defied your father’s orders. The two of you had always been close, despite the fact your father had spent years trying to put distance between the Luthor siblings, you were closer than ever. It was Lex who took care of everything when you arrived at the mansion, he enrolled you into the school, he made sure you had everything you needed and he introduced you to Clark Kent.

Clark Kent was unlike anyone you had ever met before, from the beginning you were intrigued by him. You couldn’t explain it either but from the very first moment he smiled at you and took your hand in his you were hooked. You found any excuse to spend time with him, taking him up on his offers to show you around the town, to show you around the school, to see his farm, anything he offered you took eagerly. 

At some point the two of you became inseparable, something that felt like both a blessing and a curse. On one hand you loved spending time with Clark, he was captivating, he was charming in his own unique way, he would do anything for anyone and yet on the other hand spending so much time with him meant watching him pine over Lana Lang. 

The girl had tried to make a friendship with you, Clark desperately wanted you to like her but you just couldn’t push through your jealousy to get to know the other girl. You knew it was hurting Clark but you couldn’t do it, even for him, not when you felt your heart ache every time he looked at her with the softest smile you’d ever seen.

“Maybe he isn’t as into Miss Lang as you once believed, Y/N.” Lex said one day as you sat down next to him on the sofa after a long day at school, rolling your eyes even as you leaned your head on his shoulder.

“Please, Clark Kent is madly in love with her.” You shot back, hating the jealousy that flowed through you.

“He was asking about you today.” Lex offered, smiling to himself as he felt you shift to look up at him. “As he does every time he’s here. Honestly I don’t think I’ve had one conversation with Clark since you got here where you haven’t been mentioned.”

You couldn’t help but smile, even despite knowing Clark saw you as nothing more than a friend, you had to smile because at least Clark thought about you when you weren’t around.

“And yet it’s Lana that he stares at all day.” You mumble into Lex’s shoulder.

“Have you ever wondered who he’s staring at when you’re not looking?”

From then on you noticed Clark more as you forced your eyes off of him, only allowing yourself to glance at him out of the corner of your eyes and seeing that Lex was right, not that you’d give him the satisfaction of knowing that but the proof was there, Clark Kent was watching you, more and more as each day passed, looking at you like you were something special.

“Y/N, hey, wait up!” You heard Clark call just as you were leaving school for the day. “Can we talk?”

You looked at Clark, watching as he fidgeted and rubbed the back of his neck nervously before nodding and following him into an empty classroom.

“I..um…I.” Clark stuttered out before clearing his throat and starting again. “The winter dance is coming up.”

“Yeah it is.” You said softly, feeling your heart speeding up as you hoped desperately that he was going to ask you to the dance. 

“Will you go with me?” He blurted out, eyes going wide. He hadn’t meant to ask the question outright, all day he had been rehearsing over and over again how he was going to ask you out but standing in front of you, every word he had thought of had disappeared but watching as a grin spread across your face he couldn’t help but relax, smiling back at you just as wide.

“I’d love to be your date.” You laughed softly in disbelief, hardly able to wrap your head around the fact that Clark Kent had chosen you. 

Clark smiled at you and leaned down to press a kiss to your cheek, smiling like an idiot as he watched a blush spread across your cheeks before he offered you a ride home, taking your hand in his and not letting go until you were climbing out of the truck.

From there things seemed to just fall into place, not much changed but Clark took you out, it didn’t matter if it was a study date, a coffee date or convincing Lex to help him out with reservations to fancy restaurants that Clark felt out of place in but you seemed to fit right in, not that it took much convincing for Lex to help, he was beyond thrilled that his best friend and sister had finally managed to get together on their own.

The winter dance came before anyone realised it and Clark showed up at the mansion, feeling all his nerves leave his body as you walked down the stairs in your dress, your hair and makeup done. Clark felt breathless as he looked at you, you were beautiful and he was glad for Lex putting a hand on his shoulder to bring him back to reality.

“You look beautiful.” He told you sincerely, unable to take his eyes away from you, taking delight in the way you blushed for him.

“Thank you, you clean up nice, farm boy.” You laughed softly, reaching out to straighten his tie and letting your hands rest on his chest for a moment before you were pulled into a kiss. 

“Come on, love birds, you’re going to be late.” Lex called, the two of you pulling away from each other with matching smiles.

“One more thing before you leave.” Lex said as Clark took your hand and went to pull you out the door towards the limo that had been hired for the night, you turned to face Lex, smiling at the camera in his hand.

Clark pulled you close and you couldn’t help but smile brightly as you looked up at him, Clark looking at you the way you once could only dream he would, like you were the only girl in the world. You knew how you felt about him, you knew it was love, it was love long before he asked you out and you knew it would be love for a long time.

You hadn’t been brave enough to say it yet, didn’t want to risk ruining what you had with him right now but looking up at him, seeing the way he looked at you, how delicately he held you, how he showed you off in front of everybody, you knew you loved him.

After taking your photos the two of you finally left the mansion and it wasn’t long before you were at the dance. Lana pulled the two of you over to where Pete, Chloe and Whitney were and your small group danced together for most of the night. Months ago a life like this seemed impossible, it seemed so mundane that you would have turned your nose up at it. You thought your life was meant to be galas and favours, manipulation and bribery, dating for profit and titles but standing here in a small town’s gym, you found that you were so wrong. This was the life you were destined for, creating your own family, finding the man you hoped you would spend the rest of your life with, going to school, hanging out at a coffee shop, this was your life and you could never go back to how it used to be, not for all the money in the world.

“May I have this dance?” Clark asked as the music turned slow and the lights dimmed.

You beamed at him and nodded, letting him take your hand in his as he pulled you further onto the dance floor and wrapped his arms around your waist. You couldn’t help but think that you had never felt safer than when you were in Clark’s arms.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, letting him pull you closer as he rested his forehead against yours so he could be heard over the music.

“I’m glad you came to Smallville.” He told you softly, “I couldn’t picture this night with anybody else.”

“Me too, Clark.” You murmured, shocked by the sincerity of his words. You never doubted him but it was strange to think only a few months ago you thought you had no chance with Clark and now here you were.

“I mean it, Y/N. There is nobody else I’d want to be with. From the moment I met you, I knew you were special.” Clark smiled shyly, glancing away for a moment before meeting your eyes again. “I love you, Y/N.”

Your smile widened into a grin and you couldn’t help but laugh, overwhelmed with happiness as you closed the gap between you and Clark, pulling him in close for a kiss that left you both breathless by the time you pulled away.

“I love you too, Clark.” You murmured as his forehead rested back on yours, holding you close as he grinned, savouring the moment between you before the slow song ended and everyone began dancing to the next song.

It was hours later that the limo stopped outside the mansion and Clark walked you to your door, leaning down and kissing you softly, taking his time and letting himself enjoy the moment, feeling almost drunk from happiness from how that night had been.

“I should get home.” He told you softly as he pulled away, not letting go of your hand just yet.

“Or you could stay.” You said hopefully, wanting nothing more than to spend the rest of the night in Clark’s arms and falling asleep there. 

“I could stay.” Clark repeated with a smile, watching as you mirrored the expression back before pulling him into the mansion and quietly making your way through the house before you closed your bedroom door behind the two of you.

It wasn’t long before the two of you were in bed, your head resting on Clark’s chest as his arms wrapped around you holding you close to him, Clark’s heart beating rhythmically was the only sound you needed as your eyes drifted shut.

“I love you, Y/N.” Clark whispered against your hair, pressing a soft kiss there as he felt you relax against him, smiling as you let out a soft laugh.

“I love you too, Clark.” You murmured back, unable to think of a time you’d ever felt so comfortable with anybody else as you let yourself fall asleep in the safety of Clark Kent's arms.

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[prickly-paprikash]

Since the discourse has reared its ugly head once more, the simple answer is no.

Aang was not a deadbeat, unsupportive, absentee father.

He loved all three of his children and was supportive of them. When Kya came out in the comics, she mentioned straight up that Aang was nothing but supportive of her and who she was. Aang made mistakes in parenting, but he was also stuck in one of the worst situations possible for him.

For one thing, it's been stated that Airbending culture has different views when it comes to family dynamics. Never once does Aang mention his parents, and it's clear that Air Nomads did not put emphasis on the standard nuclear family organization that other nations did. From context clues alone, and many have inferred in the past that Air Nomads were communal, so it stands to reason that their parenting was communal. Monks, Nuns, Masters—all of them were most likely parents to every single child. The responsibility of raising and educating a child was shared amongst the nomads, and that there was no real difference between biological and adoptive parents. Airbenders shared nearly everything, and that meant family as well.

Imagine you're Aang, spending twelve years of life being raised by every adult in the temple. Sure, he was exposed to nuclear family dynamics when visiting other nations and befriending Bumi and Kuzon, but his exposure to their culture was most likely limited. Now, not only is he a father to three beautiful children, but he must raise them in a way foreign to him. There are no other Monks to raise his children—it's just him and Katara. I've no doubt that Sokka and Toph chipped in whenever they could to ease the burden of parenthood, but they were leaders and figures of great importance as well. Not to mention that Toph had her own daughters to take care of.

Aang is also the Avatar, the central spiritual figure amongst the four nations. His presence would always be demanded in other nations. Peace Summits. Negotiations. Ceremony. Dealing with splintered Fire Nation cells and loyalists. Aang had to lead the people of all four nations back into balance, and he was in the unique and unenviable position to heal the scars of a 100 year war due to the absence of the Avatar.

Finally, the dude is also the Very Last Airbender. Of course he'd show favoritism to Tenzin. Bumi was a non-bender and Kya was a waterbender already taking after her mother. Aang was a war hero, a political figure, a man out of time and history, the Avatar, and the Only Living Airbender. The weight of his culture and people all rested on his shoulders, and so he passed on that responsibility and hope to the only other living Airbender at the time. Aang needed to spend time with Tenzin because only through Tenzin could the practices of the Air Nomads survive.

Aang was basically having to transition from a communal family mindset to a nuclear family's; he had to balance romance, fatherhood, and being the Avatar in a Wartorn World; and he had an obligation to every Airbender in history—millions of souls and their memories, passed on from one very flawed father to his newborn son. Every part of Aang's life as a father was met with trials and tribulations, and his family still came out loving him, albeit with some resentment underneath.

No parent is perfect, and Aang could have done so much better when it came to communicating with his children.

But none of his mistakes ever meant he was an abusive, cold, distant father.

He was overworked, acclimating to a style of family not his own, and desperately reviving a century-long dead culture all by himself. The fact that every single one of his kids still loved him and cherished him only solidified the fact that Aang was a father who did his very best.

Being the child of the Avatar would always mean living in his shadow. That resentment, of Aang being needed by the world while his children sought him out, would always be there. Doubly so for Tenzin, who grew up with the Avatar as his father and continued his life-long work of breathing life back into the Air Nomads. Say what you will, but at least Bumi and Kya had the freedom to choose who they wanted to be. Tenzin, no matter what, would always grow up to be the Airbending Master because no one else could.

Aang loved his children. Aang loved his wife. And they in turn loved him. But just like every family, complications rose up and planted the seeds of bitterness and resentment. The only thing that stopped these from blossoming into actual dislike of their family was that Aang's love and respect for his children was always genuine, and that Katara stood firm in making sure their children knew they were beloved.

Aang and Katara's family would never have been ideal in the first place, but they did their best.

And their best was certainly enough.

[lionhanie]

moving to busan (kim leehan)

where you move to a new city and fall in love with a boy on the beach 

surfer!leehan x gn!reader (non-idol au)

this work is my contribution to @onedoornet 's summer event! ^_^ check it out here!!! ♡

word count: 5.5k

genre + warnings: fluff!!! maybe a tad of angst o_O, written in all lowercase!, mentions of depression + feelings of unbelonging (??), leehan is referred to by his real name (donghyun), ft. side characters taesan and woonhak

a/n: me when i had to watch surfing videos to write this LMAO sorry if its inaccurate…….. i can't even swim! LOLLLL. i def channeled some of my own feelings into this, so it was rlly fun to write. i'd even go as far to say this is my Most Favorite piece yet :,)

reblogs ↺ + feedback always appreciated!

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you didn’t know what home felt like. which felt odd to say, given that you were extremely fortunate to grow up the way that you did– a roof above your head, food on the dinner table, and a family to share it with. the older you got, the more it felt like you needed to leave. there wasn’t anything inherently wrong with your life; sure, you had your fair share of rough patches here and there, but it was never anything too severe. despite that, you felt suffocated. it was hard to wake up in the same bed you’ve used for lord knows how long, going outside to walk the same paths you’ve walked on thousands of times, all to see the same faces everyday. this was all you knew.

moving to busan was something you never expected yourself to do. the decision was made more on a whim than anything else; immediately upon graduating, you decided to pack your bags and move to a new city, feeling like a stranger wandering alone in the foreign streets. there wasn’t much to pack, anyways. you were committed to truly leaving everything behind and starting fresh, bringing only one suitcase and a backpack for your essentials. 

you grew up in a smaller town, about five hours away from where you were now. there, you were used to the quaint homes belonging to the families you'd grown up with. the kind crossing guard by the middle school you used to attend still worked there years after you graduated, now bearing wrinkles by her eyes, but still possessing the same sweet smile she would always give you while helping you cross the street. everything you needed was a quick bike ride away. the area was quiet, comfortable, familiar. and yet, you left. 

you’d gotten to a point where you grew sick of the familiarity. to live life in one place forever scared you. it was best described as a fear of being stuck– like a stagnant body of water, peacefully undisturbed but painfully boring, to say the least. a fear of missing out on all the things you could be doing if you just lived somewhere else. anywhere more exciting than the town you knew like the back of your hand. you yearned for something else, something different. 

moving to busan meant doing things you never got the chance to do back at home. growing up, you quickly realized that being in a small town meant that you couldn’t do the same things that kids in bigger cities could do. all you had were necessities– a supermarket, doctor’s office, run-of-the-mill shops lining a dirt road in the core of the area. it was enough, sure, but you were hungry for more. on the other hand, busan was full of unique experiences waiting for you. some being as simple as trying new cuisines at restaurants you’d only dreamt of seeing in your hometown, or attending various local festivals held in the area for tourists and residents alike. 

it was crazy to think that life could be so different, even a few hours away from your childhood home. to most, giving up everything you once knew is a terrifying thought. to you, it was a wish you made to yourself when you blew out the candles on your birthday cake. you marveled at the way it’s been nearly two months since you first settled in and there’s still an endless list of things you’ve yet to try! it felt more like a dream, than anything. life has never been so bright– especially after years of feeling dull in a town you now dreaded returning to.  

moving to busan meant finally meeting new people. it was a breath of fresh air, really. the apartment complex you lived in was on the corner of a busy area, giving you access to a wide range of personalities each time you stepped out the building. you were lucky enough to get a part-time job at a newly opened cafe a couple blocks away, where you quickly became friends with your coworkers: taesan (who didn’t like coffee in the first place) and woonhak (who spent more time talking to the customers than actually making drinks).

you would’ve been content if those were the only two people you managed to befriend in the big city. they were full of life– a never ending source of laughter and stories from their respective hometowns, making your shifts go by significantly faster when you were scheduled together, much to your disappointment.

this is exactly what you had in mind the first time you thought about leaving. it was exhilarating. being someone completely new to the area meant that you could be whatever you wanted to be. there were no expectations from those around you; nobody knew who you were prior to moving. it was a freedom you feared you would never experience if you stayed back home– the smallest changes in your appearance would be the talk of the town, especially with the way history ran deep between the residents. in busan, it was a relief to be a stranger. 

moving to busan meant being by the water every chance you could get. you’re glad you moved right around the time spring started. the weather was perfect; just warm enough, not too hot. in your free time, you find yourself walking along the shore. it was only a short distance from your apartment, being only a fifteen-minute walk away from the sea. as a kid, you’d only visited it once. to you, the water was so terrifyingly beautiful. one would think they know what it has to offer on its surface, but the truths lie deeper than one could ever imagine. the very bottom of the sea could hold the most precious treasure in the world or the most dangerous creatures unbeknownst to man– the possibilities were endless. it’s a shame that you didn’t get to indulge in your interest more when you were younger, but you weren’t complaining now that the beach was practically in your backyard. 

sometimes you find yourself alone, sitting in the sand on an old blanket of yours. it’s normally right around dinner time, where most people have left the beach and the sun begins to fall from the sky. you could sit there for hours, listening to nothing but the waves crashing against the sand while you wait for the mix of colors from the sunset to paint the sky. you try to find a new place to relax every time you come to the water. much like how you felt about your hometown, it didn’t feel right to return to the same spot each time. 

on one of your routine visits to the beach, you met a boy, whose story felt oddly familiar to you. much like your own upbringing, he’s been in the same place his whole life. this is where your timelines falter– it’s clear he has zero intentions of leaving the city he grew up in. to him, this is the only definition of home he could imagine. you were almost jealous. you yearned to know what it meant to truly enjoy being in the same place for so long. maybe it was commitment issues, or maybe it was just a never-ending desire to know more– to experience everything life had to offer. for donghyun, he seemed just fine being here forever. 

the first time you saw him was by chance. today, you decided to go see the water after work. it was rare you worked the mid-shift, which coincidentally ended around the time you would normally find yourself sitting in the sand. “are you doing anything after work today, Y/N?” taesan asks, watching you take off your apron and fold it neatly before placing it into your bag. 

“i think i'll go to the beach today.” you smile at the thought, having quickly found comfort in the location.

“wow, i'm jealous,” woonhak pouts at you from behind the register. “can’t believe you’re leaving taesan and i to close all by ourselves today!” 

you playfully roll your eyes at the boy. “you should blame our boss, not me. if we’re all off one day, i promise we’ll all go together!” your coworkers wave goodbye to you as you walk out of the front entrance, happy to see that it was still somewhat bright outside. you normally left long after the sun had set, when most of the neighboring stores were closing as well. 

the walk there was always pleasant. you liked exploring different routes, seeking out all possible ways to get to the same destination. it’s hard to keep the excitement bubbling within you contained when the vast expanse of sand first comes into view. there were still groups of people scattered across the area, but because it wasn’t exactly “beach season” yet, it wasn’t too populated. you hadn’t brought your usual blanket with you; coming here was a spontaneous decision. instead, you decided to lay out your apron close enough to the water to smell the salty air but just out of reach of the waves rippling against the shoreline. 

you plant yourself onto your makeshift beach towel, the sand feeling soft below you, still warm from the sun’s touch. looking into the distance, you’re entranced by the movements of the sea. it was healing, the rhythmic push-and-pull of the waves leaving a white foam in its path, bubbling and full of life. the calls of seagulls from above you, soaring around peacefully.

you wish you knew what it could feel like to fly like that, to feel the air beneath your wings. complete freedom. a small figure comes into your view, pulling your gaze away from the birds. someone’s surfing? it’s a little cold to be doing that right now. even so, the boy didn’t seem to mind. standing on the surfboard, his face was filled with pure joy as he rode the water beneath him. the closer he got, you were able to hear his fun-filled cheers more clearly. complete freedom. 

he was awfully good at what he was doing, unphased even if the tide seemed to pick up a bit more than expected. right now, the stranger looked completely in tune with the water; as if they were one and the same. his movements were graceful, despite how difficult it must be to keep balance. 

the wave soon dies down, crashing against the sand as it always does. your eyes observe the way he laughs to no one but himself as he walks through the shallow parts of the water. drops of water fall from his hair as he shakes his head, board held securely beneath his arm. the wetsuit is tight against his skin; his figure is lean and toned, presumably from all the surfing he does. 

he’s not too far away from you now, catching his breath as he sits in the sand parallel to you. the surfboard sits idly against the sand as he looks out into the horizon, seeking his next adventure. it’s not long before he gets up and approaches the water once more, sensing a big one coming up. you didn’t know much about how this worked, having only seen it in movies or tv shows, never in-person like this. 

the man lays stomach-down onto his board, determined as he paddles deeper into the unknown. he’s dismissive of the smaller ripples against him, not nearly powerful enough to get a good ride. it’s impressive how he seems to control the water, rather than the other way around. it’s clear that he loves what he’s doing. you decide you love it too, completely mesmerized by the way he maneuvers through the tide. he disappears briefly as a larger wave washes over him, but he’s quick to rise above it, emerging on the other side and pushing further into the sea. you watch as the water begins to crest close to him. this is the one. 

if you weren’t paying enough attention, you would’ve missed the way the stranger effortlessly springs to his feet, knees bent slightly when he first mounts the board. he shuffles slightly, adjusting his stance for better balance. almost in tune with the water, he skillfully navigates the wave, letting the water bring him back to the shore once more.

the sun was behind him now, a beautiful arrangement of pinks and oranges flooding the sky, making the picture perfect. you almost couldn’t believe you had the pleasure of seeing it in real time, the whole scene looking like a frame out of a movie. there it was again, an expression of bliss as he enjoys the ride, arms stretched out in the air by his sides as the board is pushed back to the shore once more. even when he falls off the board as the momentum slows down, the grin on his face never dies. 

despite your attentiveness, you don’t comprehend the way the handsome man was heading your way, being led by the tide. much like before, he’s chuckling to himself as the high from the ride slowly dies down. his hand runs through his damp locks after wiping the salty water from his face. now, he’s walking directly towards you, eyes shaped like crescents with the way he was cheesing so hard. your heartbeat speeds up. you turn around, finding that there was no one else around. his smile is reserved for you. 

the board is held close to his body as he leaves the water, his footsteps leaving indents in the damp sand behind him as he settles a couple feet away from you. there’s a soft plop as he drops the surfboard on the ground, taking a seat next to it. 

“do you want to try?” his eyes flick over towards the water before they’re back on you. 

“huh?” you’re baffled at the way you were observing him from afar only a couple minutes prior, and now he’s striking up a conversation. 

“you’ve been watching me for a while, no?” he tilts his head, lips curling into a small smile. his accent is thick, more obvious than some of the others you’ve heard in your short time there. he must be from around here. 

“was i that obvious?” you joke, playing with a handful of sand by your feet. 

the stranger laughs in response. “there’s barely anyone else here right now, at least around this time of year. you think i wouldn’t feel a set of pretty eyes on me while i surfed?” your cheeks heat up at the comment, feeling a bit flustered at the sudden praise. he’s properly facing you now, hand outstretched in your direction. “nice to meet you, not-so-secret admirer. my name is kim donghyun.” 

his hand is still wet, drops of water touching your own as you reach out to shake it. “i’m L/N Y/N. it’s nice to meet you too, donghyun.” 

“is that an apron you’re sitting on?” he points out, moving to fiddle with one of its strings resting in the sand. 

“pfft, yeah. forgot to bring my blanket today.” you explain, laughing at your forgetfulness. “i just got off work.” 

“you come here often, then?” his hair was completely soaked still, droplets falling from it and landing beside him. 

“i guess you could say that. i only moved here a couple weeks ago.”

“you picked the perfect city. i love it here.” the sun was almost completely out of view now, having slowly disappeared into the horizon. it was beautiful out. you breathe in the salty air as you watch the stray clouds floating by. 

“yeah, i think so too. busan has been treating me well.” 

“god, i’m starving,” he gets up abruptly, brushing his hands together to remove the sand clinging to them. you expect him to pick up his board and walk off, turning him into nothing more than an oddly-sweet beach interaction. “i know a good gukbap place nearby. coming with?” he extends a hand out to you again, waiting for you to accept his invitation. why not? 

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moving to busan meant enjoying summer for the first time in years. as a kid, you used to dread this time of year. most of your friends looked forward to school finally ending, but to you, this just meant you truly had nothing to do with your spare time. your days were spent walking down the worn down paths listening to music, or sitting in your backyard reading one of the many books in your collection. this was the closest thing you had to “escaping” from your reality. 

now, you had an entire city to explore. you were eager, but you wanted to take your time doing so. the last thing you would want is to get tired of busan, even if you arrived just a couple months ago. you didn’t see your excitement wearing down any time soon. 

“there’s my favorite barista!” donghyun’s smiling at you in front of the register, where you’d been standing for the past couple hours. once you told him you were working at one of the local cafes, he quickly became a regular (only when you were on schedule, of course). 

“you’re not getting anything today?” he shakes his head no, making you chuckle. he actually never bought anything when he was there, rather showing up just to talk to you in your free time. you tap a few buttons on the screen, starting your thirty minute break and walking out to the main floor of the shop, the surfer following closely behind.  

“do you want to go to the beach with me later?” donghyun rests his head against his hand as he looks at you from across the table. “i’m going surfing again.” it’s sweet the way his eyes sparkle when he talks about his beloved hobby. 

“wow, i would’ve never guessed!” you respond sarcastically, earning a giggle from him as he shrugs. “i’m closing today though. guess you won’t have an audience today.” 

he pouts back at you, sniffling as he wipes away non-existent tears. “who else am i going to show off to then?” ever since the day you met, you found yourself seeing donghyun more often than you initially expected. you thought that he’d just be a friend you’d find in the waters every so often. not that it was an issue, no– rather, you found yourself perking up every time he walked through the doors. it’s something woonhak quickly picked up on when working with you, often nudging you with his elbow suggestively every time donghyun showed up. 

“i’m off tomorrow, though.” you’re looking at your shifts on your phone. “if you’re free, maybe we can-”

“yes.” he answers immediately, catching you off guard.

“you’re not going to let me finish my sentences now?” you can’t hold back the grin on your face at how forward he was. “what if i asked you to go fishing in the middle of the night or something?”

“...i’d still say yes. that sounds fun, actually. we could totally do that if you want to!” every word that came out his mouth was so incredibly endearing, even if he wasn’t trying. 

…and that’s how you found yourself next to him at midnight, only a couple hours after you got off work, sitting in two fold-up beach chairs on the dock. “i’d question why you have all this fishing gear, but i should’ve expected as much from you, donghyun.” 

“hey, isn’t this nice though? there’s no one else here at this time.” he looks proud as he rests the fishing rod on the wooden guard rail, line casted in the water. “isn’t it kind of romantic?” 

your cheeks heat up at his implications. if it weren’t for the warm lantern placed between you two, he would’ve missed the blush on your face. “i was joking when i said we should do this, you know.” 

“oh, was it? i was serious, though.” you can tell he’s telling the truth with the way he looks at you with a serious gaze. 

“yeah, i know that now.” you didn’t mind being dragged around to his odd antics. weird, yeah, but you can’t deny the fact that you enjoyed every second of his company. he enjoyed yours as well. “i find it funny to think you find this to be romantic.”

“why wouldn’t i? you’re here with me, after all.” with that, you realize that you see donghyun as more than just a boy you met on the beach. 

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚🍁🎃🍂 

moving to busan meant having someone to walk with once the autumn leaves started coming in. it was always nice to see the trees begin to change color, but you always wondered what it would be like to see the transition on a bigger scale– and busan gave you the perfect chance to do just that. now that you finally got to experience the fall wonder somewhere new, you weren’t sure if you could ever go back to the life you once lived.

days like this were common, where you’d walk through the streets that donghyun grew up in. usually it was just you two, but today, he suggested you come with him as he walked his dog. naturally, you accept; it was hard to deny a cute boy with an equally cute dog in his arms. you hold onto the leash, smiling at the way koni would stop every couple minutes to sniff something on the ground. 

as you walk a bit further, you stumble across a large crowd of people surrounding various street vendors, curiosity piqued within you. “ah, is it already time for the jagalchi festival? how could i forget!” donghyun marvels at his poor memory, he hadn’t realized it’s already been seven months since you entered his life. time seemed to go by quicker with you by his side. 

“festival? this happens every year?” your steps slow down, koni gently tugging on the leash to keep walking towards the bustling area. 

“yeah, it’s basically like a huge fish market that runs for a couple days. tons of people come from around the country to see it, actually. the local fishermen show off all the catches from the season, so you know it’s the freshest you can get… and there’s performances too! you have to see it now that you’re a busan resident!” 

donghyun takes your hand in his, leading you towards the festival. banners were put up all over the area, welcoming in visitors from near and far into the heart of busan. colorful lanterns adorned the sides of each vendor’s stall, enveloping the area in a comfortable glow. there were people of all ages in attendance, smiling and laughing amongst each other as they explored everything the market had to offer– this was something you would’ve never experienced back at home. 

the two of you come to a stop at one of the less crowded sellers. its owner, a kind looking old man, was standing proud at the buckets of fish laid out on the ground in front of him. “should we raise a fish together?”

“donghyun, these fish are dead.” 

he rolls his eyes at you playfully. “duh, i know that. i mean like, going to the store and getting a new friend for my tank at home.” 

“wouldn’t that just mean you’re raising it on your own? i don’t have any space for a fish tank at my place.” you think back to your apartment, which now felt like a space you could truly call your own. you were proud to think that you finally felt like you were where you belonged, even if you’ve only been here for a short time. 

“that’s fine! what matters to me is that we bought it together! obviously i’d give you visiting rights to our child.” how could you reject him when his eyes light up at the mention of getting a pet with you? 

“woah, our child? we must be serious now.” your comment is nothing more than a joke, but he’s silent as he thinks about what he wants to say. he gives the hand he’s holding a slight squeeze. 

“can i be your boyfriend, Y/N?” 

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚❄️⛄🧣

moving to busan meant finding a new type of warmth amidst the cold winter. back at home, winters felt especially difficult. you were prone to the adverse effects of seasonal depression when this time of year came around. the days weren’t as long, sun setting much earlier than it did in the summer, leaving you with nothing but darkness. just getting out of bed felt like a hassle– there was nothing to look forward to in such a boring town. everything was just… so bland. you were in a constant state of irritation, the smallest things ticking you off and leaving you frustration for no specific reason. 

this winter, you found it hard to believe those old feelings haven’t come back yet. not when you had someone like donghyun at your side. if you found it hard to get out of bed, he’d be there to drag you out with him, humming to himself as you made breakfast together in your tiny kitchen. if you felt like crying, he’d be waiting next to you, box of tissues in hand as he wiped away your tears.

winter usually felt like being dragged deeper into the ocean, unable to swim– but now, donghyun was there to bring you back to the surface, safe and sound. each day spent with him felt like healing; as if nothing bad could ever happen to you knowing that there was someone who looked at you with nothing but love in his eyes.

“do you ever miss your hometown, Y/N?” you were laying in your boyfriend’s arms in his childhood bedroom. his prized fish tank sat on his dresser, where the fish you bought together swam happily amongst its friends. there were photos of him as a kid framed on his walls– him at his middle school graduation smiling proudly between his parents, him holding koni as a puppy, him crying beside his older sister on the playground– each one giving you a glimpse of the life he lived before he met you. “i can’t imagine throwing everything away and leaving like you did.”

“well, it sounds bad when you say it like that. i don’t think i was happy there, though.” donghyun knew he wanted nothing more than to give you a home you felt comfortable going back to. a place where you could feel true happiness in. he’s mindlessly running his hands through your hair from behind you as he listens. “i can’t say i miss it just yet. maybe i’ll visit sometime soon, just not now.” 

“does that mean you’re happy here? in busan, i mean.”

“yeah, i’m happy,” you take a moment to reflect on the way your life completely changed upon leaving the town you once knew; how a stranger on the beach brought color into your colorless world. sunsets spent eating ice cream on a hot day at the beach, meals shared at his favorite local restaurants, and nights much like this one, being embraced by the man you love, as you talk until the sun rises. “i knew things would be better somewhere else, but i’d never imagine meeting someone like you so soon. you make me feel like i should look at things a little differently at home.” 

“if you ever decide to go back there, can i come with you?” he rests his head on your shoulder, cheek touching yours. 

“hm? i mean, if you want to. there’s not much to see there. i don’t think you’d have as much fun there as you do here.” you offer, thinking about how disappointed he’d be upon seeing that there truly was nothing to do there compared to busan. 

“i want to see it. i don’t care if you think it’s boring,” he’s sincere with his words, you can tell he means everything he’s saying when it comes to you. “we can rewrite all your bad memories together. it makes me sad to think you look back at the town you grew up in without fondness.” 

“it’s going to be at least a year until i want to see that place again,” you grab his hand, large fingers enveloping yours. “but i’d like that a lot, donghyun.” 

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚💐💗🌸

and by the time spring rolls around once more, and it’s finally been one year since you moved to busan, you think you finally understand what it means to feel at home. you never got the chance to visit the temples last year, just barely missing cherry blossom season when you first unloaded your boxes in your empty apartment. from then, you promised yourself you’d save it for the best time of year, when the blossoms were in full bloom, baby pink petals on display and falling along with the occasional breeze. 

you’ve never known what it felt like to be loved wholeheartedly, but you’re certain this is it, as you walk hand in hand with donghyun through a path of cherry blossom trees. with him, you found that every day felt like a scene out of a drama. exiting through the temple’s entrance, you return back to the streets you were now familiar with. there’s a small creamery hidden between a restaurant and convenience store, and you find yourself sitting at a table outside, ice cream slowly melting in their cups in front of you. 

“i wish i was cooler when i asked to be your boyfriend. i think about that a lot,” donghyun plays with your fingers across the table before intertwining them with his own. “in all honesty, i was thinking about it for a long time before that day.”

“really?” this was news to you. you knew you had more than platonic feelings for donghyun that night at the dock, but you were surprised to hear he felt the same way as early as you did. it warmed your heart to think he fell in love as quickly as he did. 

“yeah. i wanted to do something cool, like surprising you at work with a big bouquet of flowers, or making you your favorite food and hiding a note in it. just anything more interesting than popping the question at a damn fish stall.”

you burst out laughing at the thought of finding a piece of paper in your meal. “it was perfect to me, though. i’m more shocked at the fact you saw me like that for so long, donghyun.” you feel shy suddenly, reminiscing on the way your heart would speed up everytime he walked into the cafe, or when he would walk you back to your apartment after spending the day in the water together.

“i knew you’d be someone important to me the day i noticed you watching me on the beach. i don’t know why, though. maybe it’s just because people don’t really bat an eye when they see me surfing.” 

“it was hard not to. i’ve never seen anyone so carefree. i guess i was just jealous of the fact that someone could look like that.” you can’t believe it’s already been a year since you first saw him on the beach. it was almost as if the sea brought the two of you together when the wave he was riding pushed him straight to you. 

“i think you look like that when you’re with me,” donghyun’s smiling at his realization. “when i’m with you, it feels like i’m riding a wave that never dies. i’d give up surfing if it meant i could have you by my side forever.” the confession shocks you, knowing how much he loved spending hours at the beach every day, chasing the high he got when he was on his surfboard. you wanted to cry; to think that someone would let go of something that meant the world to them just for you. donghyun thinks he could cry too– to think that he had found you, a person who changed his world in a matter of months, by a stroke of fate. 

to donghyun, you moving to busan meant making you a part of his definition of “home”. 

taglist: @onedoornet @minwrlds @dongminz (my OG beta readers BTW. <3) @serejae @loserlvrss

@arafilez @nicholasluvbot @0310s @gluion @blumisiu

@woorcve @brachioswrld

© lionhanie 2024 ; all rights reserved!

[lemonlimestar]

i absolutely adore your designs! id love to hear about your process for making characters who look similar in canon have unique and identifiable features!!

tysm :,) i’ve always been really into character design so it’s fun to translate that into characters i love.

as for making similar looking characters look different i drew up a little lineup.

this is gonna be a long one sjhdjsjs

cassie, steph, and mia are all beloved white, blonde, *skinny, teenage girls with roughly the same appearance so i decided to focus in on them.

(*they’re usually portrayed as being muscular/fit but nowhere near in same fashion as their male counterparts)

i wish there was a fancier way to put it, but honestly i just play around with shape language until i get a design i like. i try to lean into motifs/commonalities. (ex: the robins have larger noses to be sort of bird-like, cissie has a heart face to tie into the connection between archery & cupid, the house of el s-curl, cassie’s pigtails are shaped like stars) overall, doing lineups like these are really helpful when trying to make characters look different because it shows you a side-by-side of all the similarities & differences in how i draw the characters.

especially when they interact a lot (ex: wally & roy, kon & tim, cissie & greta) i don’t want them looking like siblings or to repeat the same features between characters who already look similar. unless i’m playing into that (dick & donna <3)

when changing race or body types, i try to factor in the actual character & their backstory. i tend to draw cassie stockier because of her more brawler-like fighting style + her being one of shorter yj kids. but also, i made greta chubby both because i thought it worked well with her shape language and i simply wanted to. the world is my oyster.

as for race, i’m a lot more careful about thinking about how being non-white would affect a character. i have to know a decent amount about a character before hitting them with The Self-Indulgence Beam. making a character black, brown, or asian shouldn’t be slapped on like a sticker without any care put into it. i feel like it’s a well-known point, but it’s worth mentioning especially because i’m black & i make so many characters non-white when i draw them.

back to canon portrayals, they’re some unique features given to them (ex: steph’s freckles aren’t always drawn but they do get featured a few times) so i try to make things like that a permanent physical feature. the curls were simply inspired by some other stephs i’ve seen :) i typically hc that she straightens & crimps them when she’s a teenager but i drew her with them for this example. i got very self-indulgent with my steph design because she’s my girl, but i also tried to keep in mind how she complements the people she interacts with the most (cass, tim, babs).

although i’ve enjoyed what i’ve read with her, i know the least about mia. so, i just gave her features i’d like to see more on teenage characters like acne. i pulled from some panels for the shape of her nose and adjusted the shade of her hair about a million times. i debated on giving her piercings, but ended up going against it because she doesn’t have invulnerability nor a full face mask & she doesn’t have piercings in any of the panels i saw of her.

although i’m not the hugest fan of the reveal of cassie secretly being a demigod rather than just having been given her powers, her being not entirely human gives me a little bit more leeway with her design in my head. hence the stark blonde in her lashes being inspired by fantasy design i enjoy.

one more thing i almost forgot was scars. obviously heroes with no powers would have more visible scars. just with the bats: they all have body scarring but i draw cass with more facial scars because of her history + she’s herself so she wouldn’t bother covering them v.s. tim, who doesn’t have visible facial scars bc he’s Very Particular about appearances, but he has a crooked nose.

scars can be fun to play with as far as trying to remember what happens to certain characters that would leave them scarred (cissie’s scar where the arrow went through her, any scars kon got from literally dying, wally’s or barry’s scarring from their “accidents”) they’re an interesting trait to add & reflects the whole vigilantism thing.

okay i think that’s all the thoughts i have. ik this got kinda rambley but i hope it was helpful 😭

here are some closeups, as a treat <3

[akilahia]

Thinking about IHNMAIMS in pretty much all of its forms.

Specifically Ted and Ellen. Obviously in the Game their relationship is very different from the short story/comic/radio drama, with Ted being in love with Ellen(although it’s evident it’s because she is the only woman left alive). In the game he shows devotion to her, he is willing to push past his usual methods of flirtation and find other ways to get what he needs.

But in the other adaptions his feelings towards Ellen are mixed. I think his unique backstory with being so dependent on women to live a happier and more lavish life style, significantly effect how he views Ellen beyond AM’s tampering

Throughout the short story Ted constantly thinks ill of Ellen. Even though prior to being placed in this hell, she had only had sex twice before. But she is the last woman alive on earth. The video game(while following a different plot line(still one that is extremely tragic and literally made me cry)) expresses that even before Ellen’s assualr she had little to no interest in sex. She would never have had sex with the four men if it weren’t for

1. AM

2. Being the Last women alive

3. AM’s deliberate tampering

In a world where characters like Benny have been so permanently physically marked as a form of torture by AM, something like sex, is not as extreme in comparison(at least from Ted’s perspective). However to be the last woman alive, with minimal interest in sex, to be tampered with in such a way, is such a horrific form of torture.

I’m going to shift a way from this for a second to talk about Ted’s backstory for the video game. I understand that the videogame makes changes in terms of backstory for some of the characters(like Benny), so we can’t claim Ted’s backstory for the game is even remotely close to whatever it might have been for the short story. However, I still think can provide interesting context to his behavior towards Ellen.

Starting off, he really isn’t the cool rich guy that he played himself off to be when life was still normal. He never came from money, he was poor and he was forced to work and couldn’t go to school. However he was good looking which is resulted in older woman being attracted to him. And when he was NINETEEN, one older woman gave him her husband’s money and offered him the chance to travel and live in luxury.

Now this probably isn’t important, or was even taken into consideration by the game makers, but I was curious as to what the possible age gap between this older woman and Ted could be. The were together for 5 years, then she died

She died specifically of an aneurysm, which according to Google typically happens between the ages of 30 to 60. There is all this stuff with the Cold War and ww3 and I was going to try to do all this math with it but it’s too late for that and not relevant to the point I’m trying to make. But I’m just going to do some simple mental math and estimate that it might have been late 60’s or early 70’s when the older woman and Ted first got into a relationship. As I’m assuming everything went to shit in 1995 since that’s when the game came out, and 25 years had passed after he met the woman. Also this makes sense as Ted’s grandfather sold the farm due to the Great Depression, since most people married and had kids young, I’m going to be generous and say grandpa was 30 in 1929, and Ted’s mother or father was 9, then 10-12 years later Ted was born. Then 19 years later it would be about the 60’s or 70’s.

I am going to presume that the older woman had been married to her husband for at least 15 years. So it might have been 50’s at the earliest possibility. And the average age people married at then was when they were in their 20’s. So when she met Ted she was AT THE EARLIEST 35. Making her at least 16 years older than Ted when the first got together. But also worth noting that they do specifically mention older. So if we look on the higher side of the typical ages for aneurisms she could have been 55 when they first met(as the 5 years would pass making her 60) so she could have been 36 years older than him.

This seriously isn’t relevant to the actual point I’m trying to make with Ellen and Ted but I got sucked in. I guess I just wanted to highlight that Ted did not have the power in this relationship, he was young and poor, while she was old and rich, and I can imagine how that kind of relationship would impact him.

The next thing I want to note is the use of the word ‘lover’.

Though it can be used in a strictly romantic non intimate sense, I think it is used in the sexual way here.

Especially with the provided context of two different definitions of the word ‘lover’ both highlighting it’s connotations with sexual relationships

Furthermore, Ted’s relationship with the older woman is essentially just a sugar baby relationship. She is letting him experience things he never could have without her money. She teaches him how to act as a socialite and gets him used to the high life.

In connection to the sexual elements above, there was a video I wanted to link here but I can’t find it anywhere anymore. It was a YouTube video with a bunch of sugar babies discussing their experiences. And one woman confides that you really won’t make much money if you are in a platonic or non intimate romantic relationship with your sugar parent. If you want to make money and live richly, you have to preform sexual favors.

Now it’s hard to say if this was the only relationship with an older woman that Ted had been in. But regardless of whether it was one woman or a billion, using his body in order to get something that he wants has become an important asset to Ted; As seen in the castle with the maid and the witch. His love for Ellen(in the video game) helps him break past this fatal flaw of his, despite AM’s obvious temptations to make him fail.

Even if this stuff was in anyone’s minds when they wrote Ted’s backstory but I think it’s extremely important to note, especially as we return to my main point.

As stated before, Ted views Ellen negatively due to her promiscuity, despite the desire(felt really gross typing this word in this context) being placed in her as a form of torture by AM. She also is a woman, and Ted’s life has been spent around using and being used by women, so definitely lots of conflicting stuff there. Additionally Ted’s experiences with sexual relations are shown to be based in being transactional.

When he agrees with Ellen to go to the caves to get the food, she rewards him by being intimate with him to show her gratitude. Ted sees it as her ‘using him.’ (From the Radio Drama, I was going to post the clip but I could only post one video in a tumblr post apparently)

In the comic, after this encounter he questions her motivations. What she got out of it, once again thinking transactionally. But her response

“Does there have to be a reason”

Really gets to me. Especially after looking at all this intertextual context. Thinking about video game Ted’s backstory with book Ted’s thoughts and behaviors, he is shown to always think there is some kind of catch. No one is doing something without getting something in return, especially if that thing is kindness.

Ted is so intensely paranoid(as seen in all versions). I think by pairing up the backstory for the game with the short story/comic/radio drama it’s evident to see how heavily affected he is by it.

He thinks he has been tormented less by AM, making him paranoid of the others, contributing towards his behavior towards Ellen. Yet despite everything from the past and all of AM’s tampering, he still finds comfort with Ellen. Her unfaltering kindness manages to reach him even when he dismisses it as a farce. She doesn’t hate him or the others for how they’ve treated her, she still wants to help them. He still cares for her and the others. But he is filled with so much fear. He even apologizes to her.

I feel like at that point in the Radio drama marks a shift. Ted has made a realization about AM and it’s a lot for him, but Ellen is there for him. It’s a genuinely sincere act of kindness from her where she doesn’t ask or expect anything in return. They have some kind of connection. Once again blending the different versions, I think that this moment between them comes together in the end when they kill the other victims together. They don’t speak to each other, they just do it quickly and he kills her. And here he doesn’t refer to her by any degrading names. In the comic he holds her. Like how in the radio drama she held him.

Overall I just wanted to point out how well all these versions really mix to provide so much more behind each character. The backstories for the video game allow the reader to understand book Ted’s actions and relationships from a new angle.

The is was super duper major mess of a ramble. It’s now 3 am and I have a migraine, so I’m done for tonight. I might clean this up another time or make another post about Video game Ted with context to his backstory since I didn’t include the events from the video game in here.

Once again these are just my thoughts and beliefs on how I think the video game backstory for Ted provides interesting context for Book Ted. I know that both stories play out differently and both Ted’s act differently so please don’t get angry if you disagree with the message of stuff I said

mini sequel post about video game Ted

[ariesqueencobra]

what we used to be |  l

Pairing: Eli Moskowitz x Fem!Reader

Summary: You meet a new kid and your feelings for your best friend are said aloud.

Warnings: mentions of bullying, mentions of slut shaming, implications of violence, implications of strict parents

Word Count: 3k

A/N: Starting my first ever series for Eli! I always wanted to do a series following his story line in the show along with a female character so I did! I'm aware of other series being done like this by other writers on here, but this will be my own unique twist. There are similarities because it does follow the show's storyline but different because of my own interpretations!

I don't consent to this work being copied, translated or reposted.

“If the limit never approaches anything, then the limit does not exist,” you listened to Eli as he helped you with your math homework. “But in this case, it does, so what is it?” he pointed at the problem on the sheet.

“Two?” you furrowed your brows, trying your best not to sound like you were guessing. 

“C’mon, Y/N, you’re in Calculus for a reason,” he encouraged.

“Only because I passed Trig with an 89, they only let me in because of pity,” you frowned. 

Calculus has been your enemy since the beginning of the semester. You really didn’t want to take the class in the first place but your parents had been adamant about you taking higher-level classes. You would’ve been fine filling up your schedule with more creative art classes like ceramics and photography, but that wasn’t the agreement. 

Math and science classes were part of the agreement. 

Thankfully, you had two smart best friends who helped you whenever you had trouble.

“My advice?” Demetri spoke up.

You and Eli glanced at him, a knowing look on both your faces.

To be honest, while you had two best friends, only one was good at helping you out. 

Demetri on the other hand? He had a habit of giving unsolicited advice. But because you loved him, you tolerated and actually encouraged him to hear what he had to say. 

“Rewatch Mean Girls,” he deadpanned. 

You let out a chuckle. “What I’m hearing is, that you guys are agreeing to watch it for our next movie night,” you grinned.

Both boys groaned.

“I’m fine watching your sci-fi, superhero films, but a girl needs her rom coms and chick flicks,” you mused. 

Being the only girl and having vastly different interests compared to the guys, there were moments where you felt outnumbered. Sometimes you have to plead for one movie night to be your pick. 

“I’d be down for Mean Girls this Friday,” Eli shrugged.

You silently clapped your hands, face creeping up with heat when you and Eli made eye contact.

“Demitiri?” you turned your attention to your other best friend.

After a minute, he rolled his eyes, agreeing.

“This Friday, my place,” you grinned. “Both my parents will be having a date night, so we’ll have the place to ourselves,”.

“Are you sure your dad will allow that?” Demetri cocked a brow. “That man is scary and I don’t want to know what will happen when he sees his daughter home alone with two boys,” he shuddered. 

“He won’t mind, he likes you guys,” you attempted to reassure. “Besides, we’re just watching a movie,”.

“We know that, but will he?” Demetri asked in a mix of sarcasm and sincerity. 

“C’mon, my dad isn’t that scary,” you trailed. 

“I-I don’t think he likes me very much,” Eli said quietly. 

“He does,” you straightened up. “Don’t worry about my dad guys, you’ve known him for ten years,” you stated.

You watched as the boys avoided your gaze, the sound of the cafeteria surrounded you when they both fell silent. Leaning back in your seat, you wondered why they were bringing this up now. 

Like he read your mind, Demetri spoke up, “I’m just pointing out an observation I’ve noticed for the last few years. The older we get, the more of a threat your dad thinks we are,” he explained. “Guess it’s the raging teenage hormones!” he gestured with his hands, joking at the end.

Eli’s lips spread out into a smirk.

Relaxing, you shook your head at the way your best friend acted, even though you found the joke to be funny.

For the next few minutes, Eli went on to explain limits to you. You were about to ask a question when a new presence stopped you.

“Hey, can I sit here?” 

You all turned your attention to a kid with dark hair and brown eyes, a tray in his hand as he gestured at the empty seat next to Eli. 

You were about to welcome him until Demitri beat you to it. 

“Check back next semester as you can see we’re entirely booked,” he said sarcastically but the new kid didn’t catch it.

With a sigh and a roll of his eyes, he was about to walk away. 

“He’s kidding, you can sit,” you gestured to the empty seat. “I’m Y/N, that’s Demitri and Eli,” you introduced. 

“Miguel,” he nodded.

Just then, Yasmine and her entourage walked passed, causing Miguel to go into a trance. 

You frowned at his reaction. You hated that just cause they were pretty, it forgave all the terrible things they’ve done to your friends and you.

“You’re just torturing yourself,” Demetri warned. “They’re the rich girls”.

“Do you talk to them or…?” Miguel asked.

“Yeah, all the time,” Demetri feigned a smirk. “We hang out after school, make out,” he shrugged. “Eli is homecoming king, and gets laid more than anyone”.

You rolled your lips together, glancing at your lap.

“You pretty much signed away all hopes of losing your virginity before college the moment you sat at this table,” he frowned. 

Comments like that reminded you that boys will be boys. In the sense that virginity is still frowned upon. The societal pressure to lose it before a certain age disgusted you. 

What happened to not conforming to society's rules?

“Oh, great, Yasmine is looking at us,” Eli narrowed in on himself, his voice pulling you out of your thoughts. “Probably making fun of me”.

“I wouldn’t assume that,” you reassured. “She’s always going to have that nasty look on her face,” you grimaced.

Then you made eye contact with her. 

She whispered something to Moon, causing both of them to burst out laughing. 

You figured she was making fun of you again, calling you a slut or whatever. Dropping your gaze to your food, you checked your phone for the time.

“I gotta go, it was nice meeting you,” you smiled towards Miguel as you got up. 

“What about your homework?” Eli asked.

“I got limits now,” you attempted to reassure but your composure fell when you accidentally looked Yasmine’s way. “Besides I have to get my sketch done before class,” you hoisted your bag over your shoulder. 

Art was your passion. Since you could talk, you could draw. Your best friends might’ve been computer nerds, but you? You were an artistic geek. 

Still, as talented as you were, Yasmine and Moon used that area of your life to make fun of you. Whether it was a silly doodle you drew during class or an actual piece you worked your ass off for class. 

They tried to diminish your spirit with your art, but thankfully you haven’t lost it yet.

Shaking your head to brush the thoughts away, you gulped down the lump in your throat and managed to make your way down the hall to your art class twenty minutes early.

While you were gone from the lunchroom, the conversation at the table shifted, focusing on you.

“Do you like her or something?” Miguel asked Eli.

The awkward boy stilled at the newcomer’s question, opting to fidget with his fingers while staring at his tray. He didn’t think he was being obvious, the only other person who knew of his infatuation with you was Demetri. 

“He’s been in love with her since they met in kindergarten, her too but they’re too scared to admit it,” Demetri answered for him. “I think they’ll get married before either of them admit they do like each other,”.

It was true. 

You liked Eli and Eli liked you.

The moment you laid eyes on him on the playground, that was it for the two of you. But both of you are socially awkward, insecure people…neither of you had the guts to tell each other how you truly feel.

Leaving Demetri to stand and watch at the mutual pining unwind for the last ten years.

“I’m not in love with her,” Eli defended. “Besides, she wouldn’t ever like someone like me,” he folded in on himself. 

“You won’t know if you never strike first,” Miguel tried to reason. 

“Good luck with getting Eli to do that,” Demerit said.

Eli sighed, keeping his gaze down. As much as he wanted to argue, he knew deep down that his friend was right.

~

“Keep this door open,” your dad barked quickly followed by your mother scolding him.

The door had been half-way opened, or half-way closed, when he walked past. He decided it wasn’t to his standards so he made sure the door was wide, banging it against the adjacent wall.

“Sorry,” you said, not looking up from your notebook.

You were sitting in your room, Eli helping you study for your Clac quiz tomorrow. It was a routine for the two of you, hanging out after school and doing homework. Quality time well spent and you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Sometimes Demetri would join but he decided to play Dungeon Lord after school today. Part of you was happy to hear he wouldn’t be joining.

Especially when that meant you spent more time with Eli. Meaning there would be more brief moments where your shoulders or knees would brush. Which would send butterflies straight to your tummy.

“Miguel seems nice,” Eli shrugged, placing his pen down. “He mentioned something about karate, he wants all of us to join,” he smiled lightly.

“Really?” you smirked. “What did Demetri say to that?” you laughed, knowing he had some highlighted opinions about it.

“Wasn’t on board, but I don’t know,” he glanced down. “Maybe it could be fun,” he said.

“If you want to,” you passed him a smile. “It’d be nice to see you kick Kyler’s ass for once,” you sighed, glancing at the problem in your book.

You missed the way he frowned but he continued, “You should join too,”. 

“Me?” your eyes widened and you glanced up to meet his gaze. 

“Yeah,” he cracked a grin. One that was big and genuine, something that only happened in front of you or Demetri. “You’d be great at kicking ass too,” he reasoned. 

“In my dreams,” you huffed out a laugh. “I can barely do a push-up,” you shook your head. 

“Maybe just think about it,” he suggested.

“Okay, I will,” you nodded. “So, how am I doing?” you licked your lips. 

You pushed your notebook between the two of you. 

Both of you leaned in, your shoulders brushing against each other. Anytime you inhaled, you smelled him. 

He smelled nice. 

“You’re doing good, you just need to remember that an open circle means the limit exists but not in the function,” he pointed at the problem you got wrong. 

“Stupid circles,” you huffed out a breath, running a hand over your hair. “Thanks again, Eli,” you pressed your lips into a soft smile. 

“You’re going to do great, okay?” he nudged his elbow with yours. 

“Okay,” you nodded, allowing yourself to believe. 

You went over the material for a few minutes, your mind getting lost in all things limits and functions. 

Unbestowent to you though, Eli was watching you. 

He watched the way your nose would scrunch when you didn’t understand what you read the first time around. The way your lashes fluttered as you scanned the page. The way you would lick your lips in concentration. The way you would crack your knuckles when they got too stiff. 

He was utterly in love with you. 

Being friends for ten years, you’d reach that point without even dating. Even if it was just puppy love, he knew one thing for sure—he likes you, a lot. 

He doubted himself when he thought about what Demetri said. And when he thought about the comment Kyler made earlier of him being a loser. He had come home crying, knowing he was never going to get a girlfriend because of the way he looked. But then his mind thought to Miguel. 

Maybe he could be wrong, maybe he could get a girlfriend. Maybe it could be you.

Without second-guessing any further, he opened his mouth.

“Hey, Y/N?” he cleared his throat. 

“Yeah?” you reached your gaze to his, your head resting in your palm. 

“I like you,” he confessed, face going pale at the fact that he actually said that to you. 

Your eyes went wide, face blank as you took in his words. You didn’t say anything for a few moments, just staring at your best friend. 

“I-you know, never mind, I shouldn’t have said anything,” he felt embarrassed, shaking his head as he went back to his homework. 

“Wait!” you reached out and touched his arm. “I like you too,” you gulped, a smile creeping up on your face. 

“Really?” he seemed taken aback.

You nodded enthusiastically. 

The two of you gazed at each other for what felt like a few minutes until you bent over in giggles, still in disbelief. 

“I’m glad you told me,” you reached for his hand on your desk, squeezing it. 

“Me too,” he squeezed it back. 

You felt your cheeks heat up before you turned back to your work. 

The rest of the night was spent with the two of you doing work, holding hands.

~

The next day at school, Eli was sitting with Demetri and Miguel. 

Having just told the news about you and him, he was feeling a little proud of himself that he actually did it. 

And more relieved that you actually reciprocate his feelings.

“I was right, wasn’t I?” Demetri raised a brow.

Eli smiled, his cheeks turning pink while Miguel laughed. 

“I’m glad someone took my advice, now you see my Sensei is legit,” Miguel pointed out. 

Eli nodded, a small smile on his face.

“I’m gonna need more evidence to back it up,” Demerit crossed his arms over his chest. “This,” he gestured to Eli, “has been a work in progress for ten years, your words of encouragement just gave him enough push,” he scoffed. 

About to respond, Eli was stopped by the smell of your perfume. He turned his head to the left just in time to greet you as you approached the table.

“Hi, guys,” you greeted, taking your seat next to Eli. “Hi, Eli,” your cheeks warmed up.

“Hi, Y/N,” his eyes beamed with admiration. “You look nice,” he blushed, glancing over the pretty green sundress you wore today, but his gaze circled back to your face.

“Thanks,” you glanced down, running a hand over the skirt. “It’s been in my closet for a while, I figured it’d be happy to see the light of day,” you shrugged, unaware he wasn’t talking about the dress.

“You should wear it more often,” Eli commented.

Demetri and Miguel sent each other a knowing look before Miguel decided to cut the awkward lovey-dovey talk.

“So, Y/N, did Eli tell you about joining my karate dojo?”

You focused your gaze on him, the warmth of your cheeks dissolving when your mind was pushed away from Eli. “Uh, yeah,” you smiled. “I thought about it, but I don’t know if I want to do something like that. I need my hands for my art, I don’t want them beaten and bruised,” you stifled a laugh. 

Miguel nodded in understanding. “Thanks for thinking about it, Y/N,” he pressed his lips in a smile. 

“No problem. Anyway, do you want to join us for movie night this Friday?” you extended your invitation to him. “You can pick the movie,” you offered. 

“Sure, I’d like that,” he grinned.

“Awesome”. 

~

Friday came around and you were all seated on your couch in the living room watching Spider-Man. 

You actually enjoyed the pick, especially watching the nerdy boy become the hero. One who reminded you a lot of the boy sitting right next to you. 

Miguel was on the recliner, Demetri on the other end of the couch, and Eli in the middle with you on the other side. Except, Eli was scooted closer to you, only a bowl of popcorn separating the two of you. 

Your hands happened to brush a lot when you’d reach for the popcorn. Though, you didn’t mind. 

You had gotten to the part where Peter Parker discovered his powers, a glass in your hand as you had come back from refilling your drink.

“That’s a cool painting,” Miguel noticed the piece of art framed by the TV. 

It was an oceanscape of the beach.

“Y/N painted it,” Eli stated.

“No kidding,” Miguel said in amazement, standing up to study it. “You’re really talented, Y/N,” he smiled over to you. 

“Thanks, that was my first one so my parents framed it,” you shyly said. 

“You should see her sketchbook, it’s filled with the most awesome things,” Eli smiled.

You glanced at him, sending him a thankful look. 

“Can I see?” Miguel’s eyes beamed. “My yaya loves paintings, I’d love to show her your work,” he said.

“Yeah, I’ll grab some that you could take pictures of,” you stood up, cheeks on fire. 

It wasn’t often that you got praised for your art, mainly from your parents or your friends. So this was new. But you took the pleasure from it nonetheless. 

Heading to your room, you grabbed a few of your favorite paintings before you went to your bag in search of your sketchbook, only you couldn’t find it. 

As panic erupted, you thought back to the last time you saw it. You had it in art class and then you went to P.E. You could’ve sworn you had it then, but you guessed you were wrong. 

“I can’t find my sketchbook,” you gulped, walking back to the living room. 

“Maybe you left it in your locker or someone found it and took it to the lost and found,” Miguel offered, gesturing with his hands. 

“Yeah, it’ll turn up,” Demetri reassured. “I don’t think anyone would have wanted to steal it,” he shrugged.

“We’ll help you find it on Monday,” Eli said, reaching for your hand.

“Thanks, guys,” you blew out your breath.

You were glad you had them and you really hoped your sketchbook turned up. 

Part of you didn’t want to think about it, but you were worried about who had it if they did. And it only traced back to two girls.

~

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[inchidentally]

we all know Oscar speaks to media in carefully rehearsed and self-approved soundbites rather than risk impromptu vulnerability. which as a total side note is so fascinating bc he and Lando both call themselves over-thinkers but it manifests for Oscar in choosing to risk potentially being misconstrued as reserved or even cold/apathetic over giving the media/unkind public any part of his heart or soul to play with - whereas with Lando, he'd rather maintain the freedom of authenticity and then weather the brutal storms of being misunderstood - or accidentally misrepresenting himself. Oscar has no interest in becoming known as Himself, he just wants to be there in the racing history books with the people he's always admired and measured himself against. Lando wants to write his own story and have it be remembered by those who matter to him, Oscar wants to keep himself to himself and only focus on the parts of his career that matter to him and those close to him.

it's such a unique distinction between them and is equally laudable and authentic, but it's also so much a part of how they just Work So Well despite not taking a single one of the obvious easy methods to establish a friendship/bond or using any of the obvious easy ways to maintain it. (and even more notable bc unlike Lando with Carlos and Daniel where there was the age/life/hobbies difference and Lando had to adapt to the older guy's interest and friend groups, Lando and Oscar could've easily rolled with already sharing mutual friends, starting out in the same karting company, the same video games, same generation and references, and crucially Lando's best friend for life. the way they could have utilized all of that to push the great new bromance but didn't. that Max comfortably brings up Oscar on his stream so it's not like there's any issue there. it was a deliberate choice for them not to lean into something - at least publicly! - that the public would absolutely eat up.) like, they started from the mutual respect for what they're both trying to achieve in this sport and their own personal struggles and have built entirely off of that foundation. idk that fact and the way that get caught tilting their heads and smiling fondly at each other still just akjkkasfgagfagjflsagflj)

and like, Lando's deep pride in what they've built together as teammates and the history they are creating together and him finding his leadership and his strength in no longer being the kid, the little brother or the fanboy.

ANYWAY SORRY Oscar's soundbites are in no way fake or PR or advised by anyone else, it's that they're pre-rehearsed and parsed for anything a stranger could get their fangs into. he doesn't want any of his life with Lily out there for consumption so he lets her take the couple photos for his IG and he has his "my girlfriend would say/think/do" lines ready to go where they can be inserted and satisfy people wanting more of his romantic life. and the safety of Mark Webber as yes a supportive/father figure in his life but also a good source of harmless media humor. he has his "thanks to the fans and sponsors" "good to see all the fans out there" "my main focus is to improve my own performance" etc etc ready to go when talking about racing and what is owed to the people allowing him to have this rarified career. bc all of that is his Adult Life and happened after he became aware that gaining notoriety and sharing bits of his life would inevitably have it's very bad side. even tho he met Lily and Mark in his teens, his career and life trajectory were much closer to what his life is now than his life at say 14/15/16.

but he avoids or stumbles when talking about his own family, how he feels about the team in his garage who so closely represent people he doesn't want to disappoint, about Lando, about guys like Logan and Liam who he's spent significant parts of his childhood with, has only once mentioned Max F despite them being wrapped up in COVID protocol together and Max confirming that their relationships is still really good. the threads to childhood and a time when his privacy was never an issue are way too live and charged with those topics - to different degrees and different ways, but it's the same reason why he clams up and often doesn't have a handy soundbite ready.

WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS holy shit I cannot fucking stop rambling - is that him constantly saying how Baku meant more to him than Hungary and that Hungary was about ticking a box but Baku was when he knew how it felt to truly win - is because sometimes the soundbites are for necessity and to avoid further probing. the sponsors, his romantic life tidbits, the way he's trying to improve himself - sometimes they're specifically so that he can offer up a pink, beating piece of his own heart to show to people while never putting it directly in their hands.

Lando, their relationship, their teammate dynamic, what they talk about, the emotions they feel about each other, what happens behind that shared doorway of theirs - all of that is Off Limits and even the soundbites are incredibly rare. (the tiny glimpse of their solidarity against DTS with the "no, I'm with my team" "fuck 'em" and the intensity of looking into each other's eyes while they mutually process things being both a little eerie but so <3 !!) equally he will NOT talk about how he loves or feels about his mum, dad and sisters or any feelings and the soundbites are even rarer.

there's something to be said about neurodivergence and the decisions over what feels intimate in a controlled, safe reliable way (Lily, his own race performances, Mark Webber, funnily enough now in a smaller way Carlos who he admires/gets uniquely annoyed by) and what feels intimate in a don't-have-full-control, tied to childhood emotions, kinda scary way (his family, Lando, the impact he has on his team/McLaren) and it not at ALL meaning that one is more or less or important than the other, just different - but that is wayyyyyy too overstepping even for me to go into/even be able to go into or theorize. it's just kinda... (wild gesturing) there.

but Lando, Hungary, Baku… those have dark, visceral blood running through them. those things slot directly, terrifyingly into his hidden most intimate childhood feelings about dreams, ambitions, sacrifices, passions, insecurities, pains and joys etc (Andrea kissing both their heads lovingly?? feels so indicative and expressive on it's own of what was going on). Lando as a person and a driver pushing so fully into Oscar's attention and his ambition from literally age 13/14 - and not in the usual pre-F1 likes/comments that we as fans knowingly blow up into something deeper than it is - but in a oh wow he truly notched Lando into his own personal measure of ambition and also just found him fascinating/cool in a way he didn't do with any other driver! and it remained fully consistent up until he had Lando in his day-to-day life and didn't need to follow him any other way anymore! but it's unchanged from telling his mum he won't have to face such harsh expectations his first season bc Lando is so good to just recently saying he's proud to have The Best as his teammate to measure against. that's just !!! that's perilously close to an open heart!!

so when he cultivates soundbites for these things to present to the media/public, it's far from him dulling them down or acting dispassionate: in that case he could choose to just cultivate a white lie or a bland enough fib to get people off his back. it's actually because he so badly wants the world to know that he /knows/ Hungary was a mess and that neither he nor Lando ever had a hope of not being as vilified by one side as they were angrily defended by the other. that the relief of Baku that was evident in BOTH of them is something Real To Him. he will NOT say he didn't earn Hungary and he will NOT say that he ever would have expected Lando to be okay with giving back the lead bc neither of those things has ever been a question for him. but he very much does want people to see him authentically and feel the warmth behind the words when he says that Baku is for him The Win he wants to talk about and it's for the reasons we can easily assume. that if he speaks any more plainly than the soundbite then Lando's fans could rip into it or his own fans could rip into Lando over it or F1 fans could start claiming he's a cold blooded winner OR a teammate simp who doesn't have the killer instinct needed.

no, he won't hand that over to the media or the masses. he'll give a private little smile, add a warm, soft knowing lilt to his voice and return to Baku 2024 as the moment when his childhood earnestness hugged his adult ambition and that Lando and the Team and Andrea and his family are all tied up in that in ways that anyone with basic empathy can imagine. if someone needs it spelled out, if they are too biased or too dense or too emotionally undeveloped to learn human beings based on anything except dumb, deliberate invasiveness then they're precisely the people he's intending to keep at the gate. (*because it's precisely those people who have also latched their teeth onto Lando's vulnerability, claiming to be his biggest fans, storming around the internet and comments sections speaking for him and about him with an authority they never earned and being just as misguided and wrong as the people who only want to hate him)

idk just, every time he talks about Baku and gets that sweet smile on his face and I remember Lando striding around with sweet freedom filling his lungs and leaping up to shower Oscar in champagne at the group photo and the utter giddiness shared in having that awful shadow's chill off of them… like, it means SO much to him <3<3

[ddejavvu]

i was using Spotify and I realized how u could see what ur friends are listening to atm on there and it would be so fun to have hotch discover this, and be surprised that the reader is listening to songs like “or nah” or j any explicit songs like that and is into it😋 could lead into something more like playing that song while they’re doing it later on

OKAY THANK YOU LOVE UR WRITING!!!

i love you! i just left this vague and open to whatever song you want to insert!

this post is 18+, minors dni.

Being Spotify friends with Aaron Hotchner only came about because of Penelope's insistence on team bonding. And because she wanted to send everyone the personalized playlists she'd made for them, and sharing became much easier that way.

All it's yielded for you is the knowledge that, very infrequently, Hotch remembers he has a music app on his phone, and that he plays 2-3 Beatles songs before he inevitably gets called to another task and has to shut off the music.

Aaron is even less frequently informed of your tastes in music than you are of his, because the few times that he's used the app, he forgets to check what the other members of the team are listening to. Not that he really cares; Spencer's listening to classical and Derek has too-loud EDM playing in his headphones that Savannah teases him for. Rossi prefers records to his phone, and JJ plays mainly kids' songs for her boys. Emily is always listening to some mid-2000's rock song, but you, you he hasn't gotten a read on. You're all over the place, switching from singer to singer, genre to genre, language to language. All in all, his team's music taste doesn't affect him, but Penelope is far more eager to snoop on you all than he is.

"Ooh, nasty girl," She gushes, head bent to look at her phone as she waits in Aaron's office. He'd instructed her to let him have five minutes to finish a report before she briefed him on a new case's details, but she's proving very distracting. With a glance up at her, half-scathing, half-incredulous, he asks, 'What?'

"Oh! Y/N's Spotify," She holds out her phone as explanation, showcasing your profile with unfamiliar album art displayed over it. It's black and red, but Aaron doesn't recognize the song or the artist.

He raises an eyebrow at Penelope, and she huffily gives into his demand.

"It's a song about sex," She informs him, "Like- feral, sweaty, hungry, clawing-at-the-sheets, scratching-up-his-back, mouth-open-so-he-"

"Alright! Enough," Hotch snaps, glaring disapprovingly at her rather vulgar language, "I think I get the picture, Garcia."

"Sorry, sir." She looks only mildly sheepish, talking more to herself than she is to him as she muses, "Didn't know she was into that kind of thing."

Aaron doesn't think about the title of the song again until well after Penelope's gone, and he's taking his lunch alone in his office. He's more a fan of songs that, if they are about sex, don't outwardly mention any vulgarity, and he's not sure if he could handle explicit material being spewed at loud volumes directly into his ear. Call it morbid curiosity, call it Disapproving Boss Syndrome, but he fishes near-new headphones out of his desk drawer to find out what you've been listening to while filling out government paperwork all day.

He has the good sense to look it up on youtube without logging in. He doesn't want this attached to him in any way, and he certainly doesn't want eagle-eyed Penelope catching him on Spotify.

The beginning of the song seizes the ear right away, a unique beat that definitely doesn't sound sexually appealing. But when each different instrument filters in and the lyrics begin, he realizes that Penelope's description was not very far off.

It's filthy.

It's twenty kinds of vulgar, words that he's never even heard before being used to refer to genitalia. The only way he figures out their definitions is through context, and he thinks he may have been better off without knowing them. He's floored by the contents of the song; he knows sexual songs exist, even at this level of vulgarity, but he'd have never expected you to indulge in them. Certainly not in the workplace.

The song finishes out at three minutes and nine seconds, and Hotch feels a slight heat to his face as he unplugs his headphones and closes the tab. No one had caught him, but he feels mortified anyways, and decides he no longer has an appetite.

He puts the lid back onto the container of leftover pasta that he'd brought from home, keeping his head down as he treks to the kitchenette to refrigerate it.

Of course, his luck fails him as he nearly bumps into you, rounding the corner to the small, closed-off kitchen and finding you in front of the microwave in the doorway.

"Oh! Sorry, Hotch." You laugh, stepping out of his way to let him through. He notices an earbud in your ear and pushes away the knowledge of what song you're probably listening to, heading for the fridge instead.

"It's fine." He grumbles, electing to stay silent for the rest of your impromptu meeting if he can manage. He feels slightly guilty for being cold towards you, because it was his own curiosity that led to his embarrassment, but he can't look you in the eyes right now.

You see fit to fill the awkward silence with the tapping of your nails on the counter, and with a jolt of recognition, and something else far more intense below the belt, he realizes that you're tapping out the beat of the song.

He ignores your sharp gasp as he slams the refrigerator door perhaps a tad too hard. He doesn't have time to feel bad about startling you, though, not when he so desperately needs to be back in the confines of his office, away from the prying eyes of the team.

His sharp memory comes in handy as he calls upon the name of the song later that night, pretending to himself that he's only doing it because it's been stuck in his head. Not because every time he thinks of it, or rather, of you listening to it, his pants tighten slightly. He chooses youtube first, but something drags his thumb towards the spotify button instead, and he swallows the saliva that's suddenly pooled in his mouth when his suspicions are confirmed: you're listening to it, too.

At eleven-thirty at night, probably beneath the covers on your bed just like Aaron is, you're listening to a song about sex, and as he sinks a hand beneath the waistband of his pajama pants, he knows without a doubt that you're doing the same.

[causenessus]

try again

part 0.10. TO BE HUMAN

she adored the human mind. she wasn't quite sure why, but she liked how unique it was. every mind was different and despite being someone who loved to be in control, she loved that the human mind could not be tamed. it's impossible to stop the way it loves or thinks. as she walks through the city with him, her steps feel easy. her path to this moment hasn't been the easy straightforward one by any means, but perhaps life isn't about the happy ending. rather, it's about finding what it means to be the traveler. the adventurer. the voyager."

content warnings: talk about death and parental issues. one vague mention to someone taking their own life. ness is having an existential crisis. omi and yn are (unofficially) on their first date <3

a therapy session they'd had weeks before summed up a lot of what she'd been feeling recently;

“you know, in our last year of high school, it didn’t really feel all that exciting to me.”

she likes that he can say our. she likes him. it’s that simple.

“everyone made it out to be this exciting once-in-a-lifetime period in our lives. but it didn't feel that way. i just felt loss. and everyone was dying. i mean— not everyone, but it was like everyone around me was experiencing some sort of death. a family member had died, a friend had died, someone i’d never even heard of had taken their life, and it was weird." he trails off, unsure of how else to explain his thoughts but she gets it.

“and even if it wasn’t them losing their life, during that last year of school, there were a lot of people who were dying to themselves,” she follows up. “a lot of people trying to figure out who they were, and realizing they didn’t know who they were, but time kept going. as kids, we grow up thinking one day in the future, we’ll know exactly what to do with ourselves and we'll know how to live life like all the other adults we saw growing up. but then you turn 19 and realize you still don’t know what’s going on. you keep waiting for a revelation, but it never comes.”

he holds her gaze for a moment, and it just feels like they’re looking through each other. like they don’t even need words to communicate. they already know everything about each other. “exactly. it never came, and i was scared it was just me who felt this way. then i kept hearing about more and more people dying, and it–” he pauses, thinking of how he wants to word it. he knows what he wants to say, but he’s scared to say it in front of her, ironically.

“don't think about it, just say what you want to,” she urges gently, “i’m not going to judge you, sakusa. i'm just here to listen”

“it scared me,” the words come out before he can even realize it. the statement was hard to say, but once it slipped out of his mouth, he felt lighter. “i was worried that this was all life was. just watching and hearing more and more people die. it was nothing like anyone made it out to be. nothing about growing up, moving out, anything exciting. just a bunch of people who are older and have jobs and their old enough that people start dying. i know it’s a part of life, but i guess i just thought i’d start actually experiencing people near me dying when i was an adult, you know? like when i was at least 30 years old or something. not in my last year of high school. but no one gives a shit. we’re all basically told we’re adults and if we don't feel like it, to grow the hell up. except none of us know what that means. i never woke up one day feeling like an adult. every day just feels like i’m pretending to know what’s going on. i was in the shoes of the third years i looked up to when i was a first year, and i could only go about my days wondering if they felt as lost as i did.”

“i promise you they did,” she validates. “it’s somewhat a part of the culture surrounding us, and how quickly society wants you to become a functioning member contributing to its structure, but the entire idea of a functioning society is dehumanizing. everyone’s just a human, and they live and they die. as we grow up, we learn more, and gain more experience, but even the third years when you were a first year still messed up. they still asked questions. they didn’t know everything yet, just like you didn’t when you became a third year. and there were first years that looked up to you when you were a third year just like you previously had. then they became third years. do you see what i’m getting at?” she asks and he nods, continuing to listen. “when we look up to someone, we don’t see a lot of their faults. we see so many things that they may think is a flaw as beauty, and that’s just because we love the person. so maybe you don’t remember your third years ever messing up, but that doesn’t mean they’re perfect. they were perfect in your head and there's no harm in looking up to someone, but you're still your own person. you'll never be exactly like any of the third years you looked up to, but that doesn't mean you're a failure or below them. i’m sure if you reached out to them now, or even just asked someone like the coach for your team if they have their life figured out, they’ll laugh and say no. but they can laugh because you’re not supposed to have your life figured out by any certain age.” she was going on a bit of a tangent now, but she was trying her best to explain the philosophy of a topic no one knew the true answer to in her own words to the man in front of her. “i don’t really know if anyone ever figures out their life, but i think the important thing we all have to aim to do is not to find out what’s going on, but just to find people to struggle with. find people that help you carry your burdens, help them carry theirs, and have fun with them. surround yourself with people who remind you that it’s okay not to know what the hell’s going on, and to make mistakes.”

he’d need to make a note of what she’d just said later. and he wanted to apply what she explained to their own relationship. he wanted to help her carry her burdens, just like how she was helping carry his.

now they’re sitting in a diner near to where her office is located. it’s not busy, despite it being just past 6. she’s sipping on a mug of tea while a cup of black coffee sits in front of him, and they’re waiting for the rest of the rest of their food. 

similar to how she’d felt the first time she’d seen him in her office after so many years, despite him sitting straight and tall across from her at a diner table, she didn’t see him like a full-grown adult. she saw him as the friend she’d grown up with years through her childhood and school years. and she was sure she appeared the same to him.

how strange it was, to be human. to ask or pay another human to listen to your struggles and ask them for advice when they can’t be sure of anything either. none of them can control even a single hair on their head, and yet humans have been entrusted with so much. how strange it felt to be an adult, to be where she dreamed of being all alone. to be alone at a table with a friend, without the worry of a curfew, or to have a parent or anyone else sitting next to them.

it was just him and her, and he was all she needed.

she’d remained silent about what was bothering her for most of the walk here. in between those moments where she'd opened up was silence or anything small they could think of to talk about. after they’d ordered and he promised he wanted to listen, the air between them was left silent. he was waiting for her, and then she finally spoke up,

“around when we got distant, my mother left and my father only got worse than he already was. he was always angry at me or trying to guilt trip me because I was the only person left in his life. i didn't stay willingly. i just couldn't leave yet. and it’s–” she had to close her eyes as she talked, trying to keep herself calm and steady, “it was easy for him to guilt trip me. because i still felt bad for him even though everyone had left him for a reason. he just looked so miserable. and i was miserable. i got out of there the moment i could but he still wouldn’t leave me alone. i blocked him on every single platform possible him and he still showed up at my apartment so i moved. then he found me again and my roomates kicked me out so i came to osaka for an internship and i’ve been here ever since. and i’ve just started feeling kind of good where i am, with the people i’m living with, and i found you again. but i’ve been freaked out all day because he called me this morning. i don’t know how he found my number, but i’m scared, sakusa. i don’t want to leave again.”

“then don’t,” he says back as if the solution is simple.

she looks up at him in disbelief, “but what am i supposed to do? if he finds me again, he’ll keep showing up just like last time. my roommates now said they were there to help me, but what if they get tired of me?” her pulse is beating so fast she can feel it in her neck and chest and she doesn’t have the time to overthink anything she’s saying,

“[y/n]. you know the kind of people they are. i know iwaizumi well and i can tell you that he at the very least would never leave you. no one’s going to get sick of you," something keeps her from looking away from him, and he holds her gaze as he continues to talk, "you told me to surround myself with people who remind me it’s not the end of the world if i mess up, and i think that you’ve done that for yourself whether you realize it or not. not everyone is terrible like your old roomates. the ones you have now are all there to help you. they want to help you. they’re there to stay and so am i. if you need even more help or if you don’t want to go back to your apartment, you can always stay over at mine. or call me over. iwaizumi or i could beat your father’s ass so he never comes back.”

she laughs at his ending joke. it wouldn’t even take both of the strongest men she knows to beat up a single alcoholic man, just one of them. she’d been terrified of her father ever since she could remember, but when she thinks about her friends being able to punch her dad in the face, maybe he’s not so scary. she has people who could fight back against him if she can’t. “i’d like that,” she muses, starting to plan out how the entire situation would go, “although if you came over to beat him up, there’s no way iwaizumi’s letting you do it on your own. and shinsuke would probably help too. or at least stare him down which torturous enough on its own. akaashi would keep me company inside.”

sakusa’s smiling too, now, “sounds like we have it all mapped out already. see? you're just fine. if we somehow need even more backup against a single man, the rest of my team will scare him off.”

“please,” she laughs, waving him off, “hinata and bokuto sound like monsters together, and atsumu would only add to the wall of you and iwaizumi.”

"hinata and bokuto are monsters. even to the people they love– especially to the people they love,” he rolls his eyes as he talks, letting the conversation go quiet between them for a second. then, he taps her hand, which she's laid on the table between them, “but i mean it, don’t be afraid to call me, okay? iwaizumi has my number too, if you need.”

“okay, i will, thank you,” she says, starting to believe him. she's starting to believe everything will be fine, and that she's safe.

when their food comes, she begins to think differently from how she did when he was standing in front of her at the door of her office. if she could go back in time, she doesn’t think she would change anything. she likes how she’s reconciled with sakusa, how they’ve caught up, and how the world led them back to each other again.

maybe things will be okay. and like he said, maybe she’s found her people. maybe she’s found her roots.

prev. | m.list | next

extras <3

here is a second song that i feel resonates very much with this little chapter

if i fail my sociology final i'm sending my teacher this chapter bc at least whatever tf I learned in that class started spilling out here

i'm terribly sorry for how philosophical i get but also not really

as you can tell i am projecting a lot onto this fic

i didn't actually mean for these last two chapters to focus so much on death but it's just how i've been thinking recently (not about death but like growing up and the fear of all that blah blah blah i'm ok dw) and hopefully some people relate to that and this makes them feel a little better :)

but also i liked that both omi and y/n are having these worries and fears about the future and all that!

hmmmmm

i'm not actually crazy for how this story is going to end but maybe it's just me !

this is the second to last chapter <3

also ofc the diner omi and yn went to is the ravens eye diner!!!!! (shameless plug for the loml mo <3)

taglist: @eggyrocks @wyrcan @guitarstringed-scars @strawberryuri @violetesensou @kakeru-eem @glmge @heytheredemonsss @mollyrolls @bemebiu @daszy @snail-squasher @0moonii @thiisisntlovely @todorokiskitten @rory-cakes @iiwaijime @iatethemochi @yuminako @savemebrazilhinata @kismyscars @bokutoko @nobodybutnnoorr @wolffmaiden @daisy-room @softpia @lees-chaotic-brain @v3nusplanetofluv @crispchocolates @phoenix-eclipses @hhoneyhan @encrypta @rockleeisbaeeee @cr4yolaas @zombriesworld @localgaytrainwreck @moucheslove @hibernatinghamster @notverymarley @certaindreampost @akaakeis @ciderscape @lucien-luna @strawbrinkofdeath @wave2mia @samuel1004 @01trickster10 @dazqa @cosmiicdust @chemiru (form to be added to taglist! <3)

[cripplecharacters]

Hello, I'm writing a character that is autistic. I'm autistic and white (afab) and my character is black (amab), can I use my own experience with autism as a "draftc for his character? If not, what can I do to make the writing feel correct/original?

(sry if I made any grammar mistakes, I'm not a native speaker)

Hi asker,

Ultimately, autism is both race- and sex- and gender- neutral. Symptoms and traits are not going to vary drastically because of any of the above things.

So yes, you can use your own experience as a basis for your character. What you'd need to pay more attention to is the responses of other people to your character and the culture that they're being raised in.

For example, black disabled people are treated especially heinously by law enforcement, so if you were going to include anything about that, a little black kid might be taught as much as possible by his family to be careful around cops and develop a script and to not stim around them. Masking and not stimming in a case like this isn't a case of hiding your true self, it's about protecting your life and safety. And yet, this doesn't actually have anything to do with this character's autism being any different than a little white boy his age. Just that it is treated differently.

And, like any character of color, the only way to make them isn't just to make them live the same life culturally than a white person and then change the color of their skin. Researching about their culture and including bits of that in their life is important – things like food, values, hairstyles, cultural events, holidays, and such.

I want to add that the assigned genders of your characters don't matter as much as you think they might. I know it's common to refer to 'female/girl autism' on the internet as its own separate beast, but there isn't really a material difference in symptoms and traits. Some traits will be seen differently socially by others, like with race, and people might be treated differently depending on their sex about how they behave, but the behaviors themselves are not divided nicely on a gender line or anything like that. That misconception, really, is just born from misogyny, sexism, and societal expectations, not from autism itself being different.

Hope this helps,

mod sparrow

Hello,

mod Sparrow covered the actual question, so I'll mention the AGAB part.

There is no sexual dimorphism related to hormones, genitals, or chromosomes in autism. The severity of a person's symptoms or how they experience them is unrelated to any kind of sex characteristic, nor to a past decision made on the basis of at-the-time appearance of the person's external genitals, which is what AGAB is.

The "girl/boy autism" is a sexist dichotomy that is completely made up and presents girls as inherently less disabled by their autism. It erases the severely disabled girls and women who do have autism and shows "girl autism" as more manageable and pro-social than "boy autism" which is impossible to control and anti-social. That's nonsense and the same kind of erasure of women as in every other minority.

The only real difference that is based on gender is how it's socially treated by others, just like mod Sparrow mentioned. Men's autistic symptoms are generally considered more acceptable than they would be if they belonged to a woman, even if the symptom is exactly the same. If a man shows autistic tendencies, he can be considered "intriguing and unique", but if a woman did the same, she would be "off-putting and weird".

This, however, obviously isn't based on what the person's AGAB was. A transgender woman's autistic behavior won't be seen the same way a cisgender man's behavior would be. It will in fact put her under more scrutiny than a cis woman would be under, not less. AGAB is a past event that serves no function in this question, nor in most contexts. AGAB doesn't answer for gender, presentation, chromosomes, hormone dominance, organs, functionality of these organs, or anything else other than what someone arbitrarily said about a newborn. Categorizing people based on what gender they were assigned at birth - rather than any present characteristic - is bioessentialism.

I know this is not an answer to the ask, but please question what a past evaluation of the character's genitals would inform here that their actual gender wouldn't.

mod Sasza

[coffeecacao]

People don't like veilguard?? It's my favorite game now! I've been playing it nonstop! Between love interests, decisions, backstories, foreshadowing, and nearly everything "Varric" says being subtle hints he's controlled by Solas (from "I wish I could be Out There with you, Kid, BiAnCa is getting cranky cooped up In Here" to constantly telling Rook in different ways to sleep, aka, talk to Solas/let their guard down so Solas can get back in their head), it's super replayable, the graphics are fucking gorgeous look at that HAIR look at that LIGHTING, the combat mechanics combine my favorite parts of Dragon Age and Mass Effect, the story of regret and redemption and trauma is incredibly moving, our character can be trans and actually fucking TALK about it in nuanced and complex ways with other characters making an ENTIRE minority population, myself included (I'm nonbinary so a segment coming up may be biased), feel seen and represented by the person they're playing, and understood, there's a fucking nonbinary LOVE INTEREST, we TALK to them about how they're feeling and WITNESS them realize who they are and that it's fucking OKAY, they're fucking BADASS, SEE that nonbinary character try to come out to their conservative parent and witness how that parent is a bitch about it at first but comes to accept it, the love interests are ALL fleshed out and beautifully written and compelling, romance takes a natural amount of time to go from flirtation to serious, and my post about the first female companion you meet being straight? Yeah? This game broke that cycle, because everyone is fucking gay and it's great. ISABELA did PUSH UPS to apologize for misgendering her recently out nonbinary friend. The cast is incredibly diverse. You can go on honest to God DATES. You get to get to know companions on quests with and without combat, you can just fucking like TALK to them out in the world hanging out. MANFRED. ASSAN. You have interesting conversations with who we thought would be the main "villain" of the game in your head, only for him to have been using that to get to know you intimately enough to fuck with your head and betray you, what a power play. You CHOOSE whether to forgive him in the end and trust him to bind himself to the veil or to just trick or fight him. The story is so tightly written it's insane, with everything coming back to the themes of trauma and redemption. The game CARES about the player, getting to know the player through dialogue options making the experience ever customisable, and did I mention, letting them TALK ABOUT being TRANS and their unique experiences with that. The people who made this game CARED. They cared about trans people. They cared about minorities. They cared about the characters and the story and every aspect of the damn game. And now they're fired. And I'm heartbroken. I will always love this game.

[randybutternubber]

BABY HUNTER @local-gemstone-lover @teastarfall since I know you’ll want to see this and @keikoyume since my design was inspired from yours. He’s supposed to be wearing his raccoon skin cap but I FORGORRR

Basically, the hunter was a child soldier. This was inspired from a few theories that the hunter was a war veteran, the much older theory that LN is a post WWII world, and an old piece of fan art of six hiding beneath a trench wall with a soldier right above her. Outside of LN, he’s also inspired by the boy from a manwha called The Horizion and Atari from Isle Of Dogs

Most stories and characters in LN tend to involve themes of things that scare children. I chose war- it’s indiscriminately violent, near impossible to control, and often impacts children.

Edit: I forgot to mention, there is also a song that plays from the TVs in the pale city called “scout whistle” which has a very military march type vibe while also still having a very playful like tune to it, which was also an inspiration- plus the raccoon skin cap is referred to as the “scout cap”

(Note: none of this is intended to demonize amputees or people with facial disfigurements. It’s inspired off of WWII facial prosthetics and limbs which were very unique and a huge step in helping veterans)

Basically, the hunter was taken to the nowhere at a young age. He spent a few years at a military training school. Older children at the school tended to have a lot of mannequin and porcelain doll/bully like parts, basically they were being slowly replaced.

He tried to escape with a few other kids. While running through a field, the child next to him stepped on a land mine, instantly killing them and severely injuring the hunter, who’s left side was basically screwed. He was taken back to the school after. (let’s just pretend it lines up with his burlap eye hole, I forgot what side it was on 😭)

He got a prosthetic arm, although it was quite uncomfortable and pretty stiff along with being very heavy (very different from actual prosthetics as he can actually control quite a bit of it since it’s more similar to whatever animates the mannequins)

Once he recovered somewhat, he escaped and ended up in the wilderness where he kind of went a bit nutty because of the lack of people and used taxidermy and alcohol as a way to cope. Imagine waking up every day to noise and other people next to you, not having a moment to yourself for YEARS and then all the sudden, that’s all gone. It’s so quiet you can hear your own heartbeat when before you could barely hear yourself talk. That was incredibly hard for him to adjust to, although he grew to prefer solitude and sees things like TVS and most other people as intruders who are encroaching onto his home.

Years later, the doctor would give him a new prosthetic arm (since the old one would obviously be too small) and do facial reconstruction surgery on him as the initial treatment and the way that the hunter was taking care of that side of his face wasn’t a long term solution. Without the mask, he basically looks like Keikoyume’s hunter.

As an adult, quite a few parts of him are taxidermy. He only started wearing the bag over his head once he started to make his… “family” out of people he shot and stuffed.

Poor guy

I wrote this on mobile multiple times because of accidentally deleted it so that’s why the grammar is ass

[velarisdusk]

I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD PREFACE:

these are NOT meant to be soundalikes. i think our guys would use their own intonations, inflections, and creative decisions for things like cadence and ad-libs in these songs. this is meant to be a showcase of what vibes i think their songs would be. under the cut, i'll have notes on why i chose tracks, certain covers of songs, etc.

All that to say—This Is: Wings of Illyria

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

01 The Great Escape — BOYS LIKE GIRLS the song that started it all.... i've definitely said this way too many times, but i'll say it again. the bridge. 'we won't hear a word.... they.... say / they don't know us anyway.' that is azriel's part. that is where the crowd goes batshit (buh dum tss). i think their songs would be a range of stuff like pop-punk, alt, rock. this one might be a bit different than the rest of the energy of the playlist, but i was not folding on this one, it HAD to be in the playlist.

02 Seven Nation Army — The White Stripes the bass in this is so iconic and i thought az deserved it. thats pretty much the only reason, i can't even lie

03 Take Me Out — Franz Ferdinand i just really love this song LMFAOOOO also i can see rhys KILLING IT on guitar. i ALSO really like the thought of az and cass having fun shouting the backing vocals. OH OH and az and rhys playing their instruments back to back with these shit-eating smirks on their faces mmm yum

04 Somebody Told Me — The Killers this is the first of the "fun" songs i chose for them, i think that'll make more sense when you listen to the rest of the "fun" ones. like i think these are the slightly less serious songs that they'd enjoy performing.

05 Kryptonite — 3 Doors Down i think this is one of the ones i find truer to their usual sound (usual, i say, as if i didnt just make it all up lol)

06 Sex on Fire — Kings of Leon a more mellow one comparatively. the instrumentals are great in this and i see them having fun with it

07 Come As You Are — Nirvana also a bit more mellow, but i think rhys would kill this

08 Aerials — System Of A Down so.. serj tankian has a very unique voice and i love it but obv rhys wouldnt sound like that yknow? i just think the guitar in this song is awesome and i think rhys would have a lot of fun playing this one (also az on harmony yum)

09 The Kill — Thirty Seconds To Mars a classic emo/alt song. this one all around is AMAZING for them. the backing vocals, the belting, the DRUMS. cass would have so much fun on this one

10 Everlong — Foo Fighters starts slow but picks up, i think the instrumentals all around are very them. i see rhys being super passionate on vocals (not to mention how iconic the guitar is HELLOOOO), cass smashing the mf drums, az with the mellow backing vocals

11 Dance, Dance — Fall Out Boy i think if any of these songs are a bit out of the realm of the others, these two fall out boy tracks are it. dont get me wrong, it still fits into the vibe with those "fun" songs i was talking about, it's just one of their less serious songs i think

12 Thnks fr th Mmrs — Fall Out Boy three hot guys singing about casual sex. need i say more?

13 Dear Maria, Count Me In — All Time Low pop punk singer rhys!! i love!! another "fun" song

14 Are You Gonna Be My Girl — Jet yet another "fun" song! ugh idk i just find them singing about a girl to be very hot and sexy

15 You're Gonna Go Far, Kid — The Offspring the guitar.. the aggressive lyrics.... the shouted ad libs (def cass on the 'trust, deceived' at the end of the second verse) and the lower harmony by az

16 Scotty Doesn't Know — Lustra A "FUN" SONG!! ONE OF MY FAV "FUN" SONGS ON THIS LIST!! like i said,, these hot guys singing about a girl.. add in the fact that theyre singing about fucking her>>>>>

17 I Was Made For Lovin' You — YUNGBLUD OKAY. i have a good bit to say about this one bc i realize it's an interesting choice. i had the original by KISS on here at first, but the sound was a bit too classic rock compared to the rest of their stuff. this cover gives a bit more of a modern-alt-rock sound? i want to make known that i HATE the way "can't" in the first "i can't get enough of you baby" is sung, but it's only once. i also love the PICK UP IN TEMPO AAAAA its really good. let me walk you through the thought process. im seeing in concert we've got like.. a dark stage. a spotlight on rhys seated at a piano, singing into the mic. once he sings the first chorus, he stands, the lights come up, az tosses him his guitar, he catches it with one hand, throwing the strap over himself, the guitar spins around him and then rhys starts fuckin GOING AT IT. anyway..... yeah that's why i chose this cover instead of the original

18 You Give Love A Bad Name — Bon Jovi ik i said classic rock wasnt their sound but this one is just so good. i can see them giving this one a slightly more modern feel

19 Savior — Rise Against do me a favor. listen to this with headphones. start the song with just the right earbud in, then at the end of that intro verse, put the left one in so the guitar grows. those isolated vocals would be az. thank u.

20 Situations — Escape the Fate remember how 16 was one of my fav "fun" songs on the list? THIS is my fav one. its just so openly sexual, vey raunchy, they'd be very sexy singing this and the crowd would cream their pants

21 The Drug In Me Is You — Falling In Reverse this one's just as simple as great vocals, bitchin guitar, amazing drums

22 Paralyzer — Finger Eleven again, BITCHIN guitar

23 I Hate Everything About You — Three Days Grace the AGGRESSION!!!!! RAAAA!!!!!!! thats it, it's aggressive and they'd be hot playing this song

24 Covet — Basement another slower song, but i love it so i put it. duh. every album has one or two slower songs, this is one of them.

25 Zombie — Bad Wolves i absolutely LOVE this one. it has more of that rock feel for these guys than the original by the cranberries. thats why i chose this cover. i can see them head banging to this one

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

yall were interested so just gonna tag you here!! hope you enjoy :D @anarchiii @chairofchaos @blushingfawnsposts @mellowmusings @acoazlove

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

[avaalexisss]

Julia Fox

She is a Shravana Sun (gifted) truly, much like Billie Eilish. You can see it in the eyes, that psychic, 'weirdo', 'rejected' 'freak' kid. She talks a lot in her book about feeling 'different' from everyone else, unique and strange. With Shravana natives, we see the gifted child (Harry Potter vibes)

Her Bharani Moon gives her a seductive, hypnotic, sultry, Venusian beauty. She loves fashion, like a typical Venusian, and has a hedonistic, intense, extremist side. We know she was a Dominatrix in her young adult life, which is perfectly in line with sensual Bharani Nakshatra (it's symbol being the literal Yoni)

Her Mercury is in Purva Ashadha, and she does have a very soft, beautiful writing (and speaking) style. Mercury rules over how we speak, write, communicate and think, her mind is beautiful really, and so is her speech.

I can definitely see her sensual Bharani Moon in a lot of photos of her online; lollipops, sugar, ice cream. Venus (Shukra) is oozing out of every pore in her body. She does give off a very seductive energy, and has an intoxicating, Aphrodite-like aura.

Bharani is ruled by Yama, The God of Death, and she does talk a lot in her book about sewersidel thoughts. She overdosed twice. She almost died, she's definitely 'tasted' death. This is in line with Vedic Mythology. This is directly from her book: "My new friends and I hold séances in my bedroom, invoking the spirit of the deceased front man of my favorite band, Nirvana. I tape a picture of Kurt Cobain on my wall and fantasize about dying so I can join him on the other side. “It’s better to burn out than to fade away,” he wrote in his suicide note." -Julia Fox

Her Ascendant is in Ardra Nakshatra (ruled by Rudra, The Storm God, and The Tear Drop), she's lived an extremely traumatic and tumultuous life. She does have a bit of Taylor Swift energy though (Also Ardra influenced), whereby she constantly mentions 'not needing men', and is a radical feminist). Ardra Nakshatra is also very into fashion, due to Rahu here creating obsession and craving, a touch of materialism. (Peep the black and white Fabric - Coco Chanel vibes and the leopard print too!) From her book: "The faces on the missing posters stare blankly back at me. There are so many all stacked on top of one another, each telling a devastating story. At night, I lie in bed and wonder if every plane I hear flying overhead is actually a bomb. I grip my pillow over my ears and brace for impact."

In my humble opinion, she is extremely iconic, and still too underrated. I believe she will continue to grow further into her fame - she's got a very socialite 11th House Moon, (fame, friendships and the spotlight).

Her life purpose (Rahu) is in Shravana (The Moon); a huge part of her destiny in this lifetime was to become a mother. Chandra = Mother / Moon. We know that she writes and talks a lot about her son, and how he changed her entire life and is now her whole world.

A lot of Moon influenced women, Venususians and Rahu girls will fall in love with and greatly look up to Julia Fox. (Shravana + Bharani, Purva Phalguni) as well as many Ardra Natives. Gen Z in particular, I can see a ton of women with those placements feeling inspired by her, feeling like her story is home to them, feeling like they understand her, and she understands them.

Overall, I love Julia Fox and her energy, and just wanted to share this with you all. As a Bharani Sun woman myself, I feel so close to her energetically and spiritually (and I'm sure many of you out there do too!)

[lostidiot24]

Hi! *

First off loved dog days are over, is it OK to recuest a part 2? 0 ++++

Thanks, so my keypad is misbehaving.

Hi!!! I’m so happy that you liked it😭 and of course! I really liked the idea I had for this story and I’m glad other people enjoyed it.

🪽Mary on a Cross🩹

Batfamily x Gender Neutral!sibling!Reader

Part 1: Dog Days Are Over

Song: Mary on a Cross by Ghost

Summary: After being rescued by Dick, your life has been anything but normal. Being a vigilante has its own unique risks but this incident has made your family very aware. Turns out, seeing your family member half dead can make you question your life choices.

TW: Burns maybe? None?? If there is any then please tell me!

(This took me a while to write cause my brain decided to stop imagining for once in its life but I hope you like this part😁)

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Your senses came back very slowly. You could feel your hand twitch before the sounds of people talking over each other invaded your ears. A gentle but scarred hand clasped yours in a tender manner before your mind cleared. With a jolt, you sat up frantically and shook in slight fear. Your eyes opened and quickly shut from the bright lights. Your family was worried even more when your eyes showing no sign that you recognized them. Your body had many weird reactions to things and one was fainting out of fear, so that’s what you did.

Silence surrounded the cot you laid on as your family stared at your unconscious body.

“At least they’re not scared anymore…?” Steph shrugged with a nervous smile as she grabbed the hand that Jason wasn’t holding. He glared at her before looking back down on your body with a worried gaze.

“They’re fine. They were out of it when Dick picked them up so they probably don’t know where they are.” Tim walked through the doors of the med bay and sat down on a chair near the cot. “We got them stabilized so now we just have to wait.”

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When you woke up, it was peaceful. Your body swayed gently with a gasp as your eyes widened at the sight before you. Everyone was asleep. Tim was asleep on the spinning chair while everyone else either slept on a cot or on the chairs for people visiting. Bruce and Alfred weren’t in the room with you and you guessed that was because it was the day already. Based on the clock on the desk, it was 11:17 am. With a wobble, you stood up off the cot and tiptoed into the cave.

When you left the med bay fully, you looked down and saw that you were in some pajamas that looked like yours. With fear in your eyes, you checked and was relieved to see that they didn’t take off your vigilante suit. While yes, your wounds needed to be treated, you were glad that they respected your privacy. They treated the ones that could be seen from outside the suit but you guessed that there probably wasn’t any under anyway. You carefully tiptoed up to your room after you walked out of the cave and up the stairs. When you got where to your room, you changed into different pajamas and assessed the damage fully. Burns rose up your back and crawled over your shoulders and around your thighs.

How can I not feel them?

The clock on your bedside table glowed slightly as the numbers and the date lit up. It’s been a week?! Questions swirled in your head but you settled upon the theory that they put a lot of pain relief in your blood. A knock sounded at your door and you quickly put your shirt back down before opening it. It was Dick.

“[Name]! I was so worried when you weren’t in the med bay!” He quickly walked towards you and wrapped quivering arms around your body. The ache of pain ran through your back when his arms pushed upon the burns. Dick quickly realized his mistake and pushed away from you. “Oh sorry, forgot about that… oh and B wants to talk to you.” The mention of your adoptive father created a cold environment in your room. He wasn’t a terrible father! He just had too many kids to keep track of, or that’s what you tell yourself.

“[Name]?”

“Oh sorry Dick, I was lost in my thoughts but I’ll be down in a minute.” He gave you a warm and nervous smile while her turned away, walking down the stairs. You stood in your thought for a valid amount of time until you pushed past your door and started your trek into the unknown ground of Bruce’s emotions.

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A/N: I’m definitely gonna make another part that has some angst/comfort from my favorite brother Jason🤩 but for now I’m gonna leave it here and give my mind a break lol