#but like. love that dude hes just a funky guy

[untimelyambition]

veeeery parasocial of me but i love jon matteson hes just a silly little dude

[im-smart-i-swear]

Stickbug and his awkward i-didnt-even-want-to-be-in-this-photo smile

[princekirijo]

Istg I actually need to sit down and write a proper bio for Riku because even I get confused af as to what his personality is sometimes.

[red-wop]

Right but as I am writing the Wall E AU I keep finding plotholes in both the film and in my interpretation and god its driving me up the bend

Like- yk how all of earths population is living in space at that point? Thats alot of bloody ships and now I've gotta come up with an explanation for it because they dont properly explain it in the film but then I was doing some research on it and then I found out that in film canon there was a climate disaster which wiped out over half of the worlds population and thats why theres not as many ships,

BUT I CANT BLOODY WRITE THAT PLOTPOINT BECAUSE THE WALL E'S IN MY FIC ARE HUMAN SO THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN WIPED OUT TOO IF THERE WAS A CLIMATE DISASTER

godddd why've I decided to make this fic more complicated than it needs to be its literally Silly Red dwarf guys but Silly Wall E robots, I dont know why ive done this to myself wtf

Anyway I'm probably gonna try and ignore that plothole and let it sit in a corner while I continue to write lolll

[crow-talks-hockey]

just hear me out...

[silverselfshippingchaos]

PALS!!!! meet my new bestie!!!

[astonmartinii]

reluctant cupid | lando norris social media au

pairing: lando norris x fem bff!reader

you could set your bestie up with a driver or you could confess your feelings? lando norris is dumb.

based on this request: Could you write something about being best friends with lando and he tries to help set you up with another driver you have a crush on, but then he realises he actually likes you so he has to sabotage all the wingmanning he’s done and you end up together Idk if that makes sense 😭🫶🏼🫶🏼 -@mbappesleftthigh

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 49,340 others

yourusername: someone please save me from the grips of hinge and this oh so lonesome life

view all comments

user1: girl knows the whole f1 paddock and looks like that and is still alone there is NO HOPE for me

user2: this post might have thrown me over the edge

landonorris: "i'm so lonely" "why don't you approach that guy" "no too scary"

user3: that's so real though

yourusername: thank you!

landonorris: how do you expect to find a boyfriend when you don't like to talk to anyone and treat hinge like a gameshow

yourusername: i didn't come here for actual advice let me commiserate in peace. god, can women have anything these days?

landonorris: ???

yourusername: oh! idea! pretty please set me up with one of your friends? they have to be great otherwise you wouldn't be friends with them, right? RIGHT?

landonorris: i guess...

yourusername: please lando, i've never asked for anything before

landonorris: i can feel you pouting through the phone

yourusername: so you'll consider ?

landonorris: fine...

user4: bro either gotta admit his feelings now or be condemned to be in the plot of a weird romantic comedy

user5: i personally don't think i can wait until the third act break up with this side character LANDO ACT NOW

oscarpiastri: you'd really trust lando's judgement?

yourusername: he's friends with me, he's got good taste?

oscarpiastri: touche

maxverstappen1: whatever you really wanna say oscar, you gotta keep it in, these idiots will figure it out eventually

yourusername: ???

landonorris: ???

user6: the grid are so done with their asses i can't 😭

user7: but what if the universe doesn't intervene and lando really has just lost the girl forever?

user8: bestie we can't be thinking like this

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 812,047 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: being back home means being bothered by her (and whatever is her newest hyperfixation - it's sylvanian families this month if you couldn't tell)

view all comments

user9: i am so sorry but they are so in love

user10: it's cute in the movies, but these blind bitches are starting to piss me off

yourusername: THEY CAN HEAR YOU, BE A BETTER DAD

landonorris: they're not my children

yourusername: you take that back right now, you LOVE them

landonorris: you spent my money on them yes

yourusername: that's fatherhood, buddy. buckle up

user11: whoever he sets her up (if he's still dumb enough to do that) is gonna be the biggest third wheel in history

user12: who would willingly sign up for that

user13: me. i would. i have two working eyes and have seen y/n

maxverstappen1: who are these funky little critters and how can i procure some for p?

yourusername: finally a man with sense, literally any grocery store or toy store

maxverstappen1: perf

yourusername: if lando stops being mr. grumpy i'll ask him if i can come to a race and p and i can play animal families

landonorris: i am NOT mr. grumpy

maxverstappen1: you kinda are dude. is it the set-up is it stressing you out?

landonorris: nO

yourusername: then why are you putting it off !!! lando i might die from terminal yearning !!!

landonorris: i have an interested candidate

yourusername: really? do you think they'll actually like me? like this isn't a pity date right?

landonorris: nope!

user14: lando is typing through tears as we speak

user15: if y/n does go on a date with someone from the paddock i actually hope it goes well, as one lonely girl to another, it's tough out here we need one win

f1wagupdates

liked by user18, user19 and 11,043 others

tagged: yourusername & carlossainz55

f1wagupdates: turns out lando is a bit of a cupid as his childhood friend y/n y/ln was spotted out and about with carlos sainz.

view all comments

user20: HE ACTUALLY DID IT

user21: that moment when you're so down bad for a girl that you set her up with your best friend

user22: that moment when you're such a wimp you can't admit your feelings and set up the girl you like with a literal GREEK GOD

user23: i am so bamboozled by this move he literally looked like a kicked puppy on his stream bro this is your doing 😭

user24: she's a lover girl she's going to get her heart broken :(

user25: this has mess written all over it

user26: she's literally described herself as a terminal yearner i feel like she'll throw herself in and will get hurt

user27: UNLESS! this is all part of the plan? what if lando set her up with a messy guy like carlos so he can be the shoulder to cry on and that's how he slides in?

user28: that's very convoluted, very rom-com but i'll take it if it means we get lando and y/n together in the end

user29: i know this probably won't last long but can we all appreciate how hot this couple is?

user30: lando and y/n runs rings round y/n and carlos

user31: lol lando is a bad friend for setting her up with CARLOS him and charles are THEE red flags

user32: i hope y/n is prepared

user33: also lando hasn't thought it fully out if his plan is to be the shoulder to cry on because he's just opening her up to be called a homie hopper or a paddock bunny

carlossainz55

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly and 702,554 others

carlossainz55: productive weekend with my girl

view all comments

user34: well that's not y/n

user35: that finished faster than i expected

user36: lando DO NOT quit your day job

landonorris: call me bro

carlossainz55: si, cabron

user37: i don't think they'll be cabrons after this call

user38: maybe this is all just going to plan?

user39: yall gotta give up this conspiracy theory maybe these people are just as dumb and mean as they seem to be

user40: soooooo... what did we all do this weeekend?

user41: i broke a girl's heart @carlossainz55 twins 👯‍♂️

user42: AHHHH???

maxverstappen1: oh that's not-

yourusername: you're so chronically online :(

maxverstappen1: you're alive?

yourusername: yes. coming at you live from the bed i'm currently rotting in

maxverstappen1: not going to say i didn't warn you?

carlossainz55: really? in my own comment section?

yourusername: one second, we're having a conversation here

maxverstappen1: yeah carlos, gosh.

carlossainz55: i'm so confused

user43: okay power move to just start a conversation in his comments?

user44: the power of confusion is simply unmatched

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 56,309 others

yourusername: certified boy hater

view all comments

user45: a ferrari boy will do that to you

landonorris: feeling hashtag victimised rn

yourusername: obviously doesn't include you girlypop. but you seriously need to reevaluate your judgement

landonorris: carlos is attractive?

yourusername: he ghosted me?

carlossainz55: i am right here

yourusername: blocked.

landonorris: did you actually just block him?

yourusername: yes 😀 !

landonorris: god this is a nightmare

yourusername: not if you'd take a GOD DAMN HINT

landonorris: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

user46: yall this is a public instagram comment section

user47: don't say that, this is their argument in the rain moment

user48: lemme grab the popcorn 🍿

maxverstappen1: this better not include the real number one girlypop here

yourusername: of course not pookie

oscarpiastri: you gonna continue the lil spat above this?

yourusername: no?

oscarpiastri: well some people (max and i) would like to listen so please continue

yourusername: no, i don't think i will

oscarpiastri: GOD YOU PEOPLE ARE INSUFFERABLE

maxverstappen1: what oscar said

user49: oscar and max are so real

user50: they can't leave us on this cliff hanger

landonorris

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 1,043,788 others

landonorris: some snaps from '23

view all comments

user51: have we just been thirst trapped?

user52: i don't think it was intended for us

user53: this has "i am hotter than carlos sainz" written all over it

yourusername: posting tits on main, brave.

landonorris: i came second in singapore.

yourusername: sureeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. modesty, ever heard of it lan?

landonorris: slutshaming isn't cute y/n

yourusername: you kinda have to pull to be a slut lan. you are under qualified for the position

landonorris: if you keep being mean to me i will call your mum or my mum.

yourusername: try it. i see cisca more than you, i have faith in her

landonorris: the line is busy. are you on the phone to MY mum right now?

yourusername: maybe.

user54: we're so close to them getting their heads out of their asses

user55: don't get my hopes up

danielricciardo: i hope this works lol

landonorris: you don't think i'm sexy?

danielricciardo: it doesn't matter what i think

landonorris: i'm not sexy :(

danielricciardo: you're baiting me but yes, you are sexy.

user56: i'll fight anyone who made this man believe he's not beautiful

liked by yourusername

user57: I SAW THAT 📸

user58: someone just lock them in a cupboard at this point

oscarpiastri: noted.

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 89,034 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: yeah, yeah. you can stop yelling at us now.

view all comments

user61: LET'S FUCKING GO

user62: it was worth all that yelling. i expect an invite to the wedding now.

user63: wedding? girly they only just realised their feelings after a DECADE

maxverstappen1: it was about fucking time

yourusername: okay miss ma'am. some people are EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE AND NOT VERY GOOD AT PROCESSING THEM

maxverstappen1: you must've been emotionally constipated because this was painful

yourusername: it was painful for me too

maxverstappen1: so painful that you dated CARLOS

yourusername: one date! ONE!

maxverstappen1: carlos said can you unblock him so he can be mean to me?

yourusername: fine.

carlossainz55: STOP MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A BAD PERSON. YES I AM NOT THE BEST AT RELATIONSHIPS BUT LEAVE ME BE

maxverstappen1: lol

yourusername: lol

user64: unblocking carlos to hit him with the lol max and y/n might be more iconic than lando and y/n

landonorris: not on our relationship announcement post 🤨

user65: OOP.

landonorris: i love you doofus

yourusername: i love you too muppet

landonorris: how much was the betting pool for your family?

yourusername: it got to over £300

landonorris: ours was £750

yourusername: are we dumb?

landonorris: no!

oscarpiastri: two dumbass girls saying 'yass' to each other

yourusername: LEAVE US BE

landonorris: oscar :(

user66: not their own families betting on when they'd get together 😭

landonorris

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,430,778 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: first win, hopefully not my only one.

view all comments

user67: MY BABIES

user68: i feel like i've been on this journey with them

oscarpiastri: thank god you guys got your shit together, i was THIS close to jumping out the nearest window if i had to watch lando mope around like a kicked puppy when y/n had the lil thing with carlos

user69: so it wasn't some grand plan?

oscarpiastri: no he's just dumb enough to actually set up his first love with his best friend

landonorris: OSCAR!

oscarpiastri: am i wrong?

landonorris: no... but! i got there in the end

oscarpiastri: good thing you're faster on track

user70: the grid being just as done with them as us is killing me

maxfewtrell: finally this unnecessarily long and overly convoluted saga has come to and end, lets never do this again!

landonorris: i'm locked in for life bro no worries

yourusername: awwwwwwwwwwwwww i love you too bubs

maxfewtrell: stop being sappy under my comment

yourusername: you just complained we didn't sort out our shit fast enough and now we're too sappy?

landonorris: STICK TO A STORY BOZO

maxfewtrell: now you're even more ride or die... can we go back?

yourusername: nope!

landonorris: nope!

maxverstappen1: i for one am very happy for you both

yourusername: thank you max !!

landonorris: not so fast, he had the biggest bet on us in the paddock

yourusername: get that bag sis

landonorris: ???

yourusername: we can't fight it anymore, let them have their jokes, we actually have each other now :)

landonorris: yes we do :) xx

user71: golly gosh this is so fucking cute

fin.

note: i hope this is what you were looking for and that you all enjoyed!! i'm just waiting on my tester sticker sheets for my small business @badlydrawnf1cats on here and on instagram, if you wanna give it a follow x tHANK YOU FOR READING MY LOVES X

[evilminji]

Okay this is going to drive me INSANE. D:>

Dearly beloved, Phandom darlings...

Can DANNY EAT VIDEO GAME/TV FOOD?

I... I NEED to know. You don't UNDERSTAND!? Think about it. No, seriously. THINK about all those HIGHLY unrealistic, too good to be true, PERFECT looking meals. Animated shows n games etc where there are chefs who will "cook for Anybody!"

Now think about being 14 going 20. A teenager. A broke college student. Your fridge is empty and everything you touch? Comes back to LIFE. You're... you're just so hungry. Tired. Your bruises have bruises and you have a paper due tomorrow.

I kinda want to CRY.

Can only eat cup ramen so many times before you DO.

And this show? That commercial? Yonder cooking game?? Well... they did a REAL good job animating it. It looks so WARM. So FILLING and COMFORTING. You can practically SMELL it.

You look down at your sad, soggy, cheap but you can afford it, EZ Noodles and? Feel something BREAK inside. You... you KNOW you can travel inside technology. KNOW this. Have done it before. Why... why AREN'T you? You can't keep living like this.

You gotta TRY, right?

I? Wanna believe it TOTALLY works?? Because Ectoplasm is weird like that? And just shrugs? Says "actual food, the concept of food backed by electricity, what's the difference? Sure, we can fuck with this"? And so Danny? IMMEDIATELY fucking switches his diet.

Like? Dead stop screech, slam on the breaks, u-turn to take that last off-ramp. Type IMMEDIATE.

Grocery bill? No, no, you mistake him! No. NOW it's his "carefully researched for their cooking, games and shows" bill. Touch his collection and he'll FUCKING BITE.

They got sticky notes on the cases. Menus n lil fold out "grocery store" locations. He punched a dragon for this fruit. Mmmmm, home cooked meeeeeals~

Just? Weird Foodie Danny. Yes he DOES know what those steaks taste like. While YOU fuckers were staring at the cat girls bizangas, HE was eating granny cat lady's home made meatball stew! Ha! YOU FOOLS!

More then that? I want him to write reviews. Like "yeah, fight system was OKAY but- *5 hour glowing rant about the food, sounding like a food critic who'd actually fucking gone and loved it* " and people are like?? Who? Is this funky lil madman? This is hilarious?

I want it to be DPxDC JUST? So everyone slowly starts to play the game "Meta or Shtick?" Because no one REALLY knows who he is. This dude gets POPULAR though. For some reason can't be hacked (shame on you guys! Way to try and ruin the FUN!). And like? Eventually? Someone just fucking ASKS?

And Danny is like... " wouldn't YOU like to know, weatherboy?"

So everyone is like:

"Meta."

But hey... since they're already ASSUMING~? >:3c WHOOOOO wants to help him PAY RENT~? Let's VLOG this fucker! Wooooo! Say "hi" Catchef! *feline noises* like? It's like a let's play combined with a mukbang.

Teen Heros everywhere are FACINATED. Game developers are suddenly like? "If there's food. You BETTER make it look amazing. We want that weird YouTube twink to... whatever his powers are, our game! Free viral marketing!" Food channels? Rending their clothes, on their KNEES, please! PLEASE! Just ANSWER OUR EMAIL! Just ONE SHOW! A one off! Guest appearance!

We have MONEY!!!

All while Danny? Is finally happy with his life. Weird as hell. Harrasing the world. Good food on the regular. Gets to travel, kinda. Best of all? He's raising money from it! Can help people! Now... who wants salad?

@babbling-babull @hdgnj @hypewinter @legitimatesatanspawn @spidori @dcxdpdabbles @the-witchhunter @lolottes

[somewhat-insane]

Wip Wednesday!!

... Is it even Wednesday?

What year is it, even?

[vonspe]

Can I ask about your funky lil crow dude's lore

YEAS everyones goth uncle info dump LETS GO

Scipio Arcelay(De Riva) aka Rook

🐦‍⬛ Antivan Crows / City Elf / Rogue(Duelist)

🐦‍⬛ Grew up in the Free Marches with 4 sisters and a massive extended family(has a lot of "cousins" as well), returned to Antiva as a teenager. Joined the Crows for money. A lousy assassin, a good alchemist and poison maker. Great at making elaborate bullshit plans. Got the nickname "Rook" from Viago, who still calls him "not quite a crow". Started sabotaging his contracts on purpose to get kicked out(weirdly, it worked).

🐦‍⬛ Well traveled, "knows a guy" for everything. Quick to make acquaintances, very slow to actually trust anyone. Thinks almost every magical or enchanted item is "fugazi".

🐦‍⬛ Solves problems with manipulate and mansplain first, manslaughter second. A little TOO confident. Canonically foolhardy. Debonair but often genuine and surprisingly soft-hearted.

Extremely important tidbits

🥀 Favorite flower is the bleeding heart

🥀 Canonically good at card games based on bluffing. Also good at cheating at cards.

🥀 Okay-ish lute player and singer. Loves music and theater. Cries over a beautiful song or a happy ending.

🥀 Terrified of darkspawn lmao

🥀 Can't stand not seeing the night sky in the Lighthouse

🥀 Always snacking. Shakes peanuts in his hand before eating them like a dad.

🥀 You will never open doors, pull out your own chair or pay for anything in his company. Stands up when someone new joins the dinner table. It's instinctive and he doesn't notice he's doing it.

Some visual notes bc I just have this

Thank u to everyone who sent me nice messages abt this dude 🥰🥰

[aralisj]

I've been reading a lot of Steddie fics recently and I've been thinking about how diverse the backstories for Eddie are. We know like five things about the guy and it's kind of great? Liberating almost?

He was doomed by the narrative and now we get to imagine the whys and hows and every writer puts their stamp on it and the contradictions are honestly so cool.

His parents are dead, no, his mom is dead and his dad's in jail, his dad was a drunk and his mom was the best, actually they disowned him when they found out he was gay. His uncle Wayne is gay, he's an ally, he's an oblivious but well intentioned man. Eddie liked Steve since his King days, no, he hated him, they were actually hooking up before the Upside Down thing, they weren't hooking up but they were friends. Eddie is flagging, he doesn't know code but black is his favorite color, he saw a biker with a hanky in his pocket and just thought it was cool. Eddie is a clueless small town gay, he's trans, he goes to gay bars every weekend, he's in the middle of a sexuality crisis. He's a virgin, he's a sado top, he's bi, he's 100% gay, he's a literal whore blowing guys at The Hideout for money.

I love it. Goncharov that backstory. Self-project as much as you want. Blorbo the hell out of that funky little dude.

[citruswriter]

Making Headcanons about the Rise Turtles as Somebody Who's Never Seen The Show

Listen With Me! ↠ⁿᵉˣᵗ ˢᵒⁿᵍ ↺ ʳᵉᵖᵉᵃᵗ ⊜ ᵖᵃᵘˢᵉ

A/N: I've been reading a bit of fanfiction so I'm not completely clueless about their quirks and personalities but I thought I'd make this for fun til I get motivation to actually write again yk?

Raphael 🧡

First of all. This man is a cutie patootie. Like, come here. Lemme kiss yo forehead. Sweetie pie, baby, pookie. Mwah.

Now that I've gotten that outta the way, I feel like this dude has a lot of squishmellows. Especially the big ones. They're just so soft and, well, squishy.

Favorite season is summer. He likes all it gives and would kill to be able to go strawberry picking or go pick flowers in a flower field with other people without fear of being called a freak.

Speaking of which, this mans will 100% take you on picnic dates in a flower field. Fresh foods and flowers. Expect a flower crown at some point and to look at clouds.

Apparently he's a bit of a crybaby? Which like, please don't hurt him. :(( Poor sweet baby just needs love.

Please give him flowers back. He'll love you for life.

His love language is touch but he's also afraid of hurting you sometimes so instead he really enjoys quality time.

On a more obscure level, his love language is biting. Just soft little noms on your shoulders and arms. Although he will bite in other places if you give him consent.

PLEASE KISS ALL OVER HIS FACE! Just grab his face and kiss his face all over. He'll just melt, maybe gently grab your hips or wrap his arms around your waist.

Will gladly pepper you with kisses as well. Especially those feather light kisses. Face, neck, shoulders, hands, wrists. He's such a sweetie.

Loves hands on dates. So cooking, flower picking, pottery, those kinds of things. And yes he'll keep that funky looking, poor excuse of a vase you made in his room and it will proudly hold the latest flowers you've gotten for him.

Will knit you things. Complaining about needing a new sweater? Bam. Sweater made. Whine that you need more socks because you keep loosing yours? Boom. Socksies.

Knit him something back and he'll sob and thank you a million times. He loves it. Even if you're not good at knitting. It's a prized possession.

Always kissing your hands or nuzzling into your neck. He's such a touchy fellow.

Yes he's the type of guy to have you sling your legs over his lap and just massage your knees or mindlessly draw patterns on your thighs while he reads.

PARALLEL PLAY! Can and will put on some soft jazz or lofi beats and just relax in your presence while the two of you do your own things. The occasional kiss or soft talk occasionally happening.

If you sleep over, good luck getting him off of you if you wake up first.

I see him as a late morning riser. So 10AM kind of thing. Will nuzzle into you and take his time waking up as he just gently rubs your side and breaths in your scent, peppering you with good morning kisses and soft laughter.

Cooks you breakfast and prepares your morning drink. He just loves you so much and the small small smile accompanied with a sleepy kiss and "thank you, my love" makes it all worth it.

Calls you things like my sweetheart, strawberry, and flower.

"Whatever would I do without my flower?

NSFW - Obviously aged up, don't be weird 💛

Terrified to be intimate with you for a good few solid months.

He'll prolly want to have a solid conversation about what you're both into, hard limits, soft limits, stoplight system vs safe words and what to use, and the likes.

Will need some time to warm up to the idea of sex. Expect months of heated make out sessions.

Eventually things will escalate. Steamy moments now accompanied with thigh riding, praises being muttered out to you.

Eventually the two of you will get to oral moments. Please be gentle with him. He's kind of sensitive.

He'll prolly also be very gentle with you when giving head. Tell him what to do, he's so lost. Praise him when he does something you like. He'll pick up on what makes your body sing for him and keep it stuffed in his mind for later.

In the early stages of having sex, he'll be pretty gentle as the two of you explore. Lots of "am I doing this right?" and "you feel so good".

Once he becomes more confident though? Oh shits over for you. 💀 R.I.P (y/n). Sorrows and prayers. You're gonna need em baby.

He's still somewhat gentle but since he knows your limits now, he's more willing to be rough and to bully you.

Ramming into you from behind as you babble out curses, Raph just grinning down at you. "What's the matter, sweetheart? Can't talk? Cockdumb already, are we?"

Remember how I said biting was his love language? Pray because he will bring it into the bedroom.

His love bites are more little nibbles or gentle noms. But give him permission and he'll bruise you while he fucks you.

Will refuse to do it beyond gentle noms in the beginning of the relationship but once he's confident, you're getting bitten.

Bites on your neck while he growls possessively and makes you wail. Bites to your sides as he grips your soft flesh. Bites to your thighs that bruise while he bullies your insides with his cock. He loves seeing you giggle at his soft nibbles, and he also loves hearing you cry out from his bite marks.

King of aftercare, especially after rough sessions. Grabbing a towel to wipe you down, helps you to the bathroom if needed, grabs you some water with some electrolytes added to it. Soft kisses as he praises how well you did and how much he loves you and how he's so lucky to have you.

Loves flustering the shit outta you. You could be talking and he'll just gently but firmly grab your jaw, making you look up to make eye contact and go "yeah love?" or "is that so, strawberry?"

The way your brain immediately stops working as you stutter and your facial expression becomes flustered. He can't help it.

He'll pair it with a soft rumbling chuckle he knows drives you up the wall, lean in and ghost his lips over your skin, maybe lightly kiss your jaw or neck, before backing up and letting you go.

"You were saying, sweetheart?"

•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•☾☼☽•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•

Leonardo 🧡

Little shit.

That's it. That's the post.

Jk. But from what I've gathered, he's absolutely a little shit.

Pray to whatever god you believe in because this man makes it his mission to annoy the ever living fuck out of you.

He will take note of the things that genuinely trigger or piss you off though. As much as he loves teasing you, he doesn't want you snapping at him or giving him the cold shoulder.

Favorite season is spring. He enjoys seeing all the critters and plant life slowly come to life.

Oddly enough, I headcanon him as an early morning person.

As energetic as he is, he loves quiet mornings. Watching the sunrise and taking his time to maybe shower and wake up slowly.

If you wake up early with him, he might make some drinks for the two of you and take you up top to watch the sunrise with him while the two of you whisper plans for the day together.

If you wake up later in the day, he'll wake you up softly and force you to turn his direction and cuddle up to him while he peppers your head with kisses and rubs circles into your muscles as you doze back off.

Once you do wake up, he'll stop what he's doing if he's able and prepare some food for you before making his way to his bedroom in time to see you do your morning stretch.

"Morning, sleepy head. Finally decided to rise from the dead?" He'll tease, smiling when you playfully glare at him. "Awwww, mi vida. Don't pout at me. I'm only teasing. Come. I made you food".

Once you step out of the room however, his tenderness gives way to his annoying ass ego self. But you love it all the same and he knows it.

Will expect praise for the food he made you. He's such an awesome chef, obviously he deserves it.

Loves pulling pranks on you and surprising you with tickles. Have your defenses up because his innocent hug will turn into him pinning you down and tickling you.

Pouty McPoutster. Heaven forbid you have a job or your own place. The audacity you have to spend time away from him is astounding. 🙄 /silly

Loves stealing your shit and then faking innocence when you demand it back.

Spams you with a million memes a day.

His love language is touch as well, but he indulges in it much more than Raph seeing as though he's not as heavy or strong as him.

On a more obscure level, his love language is deep pressure. Loves being your weighted blanket or giving you super tight hugs. Do it back to him please, he also loves it. But be prepared to smack him because he will make an inappropriate joke.

Will fling himself at you. He doesn't care if he knocks you down to the ground and knocks the wind out of you.

Aside from the normal Spanish nicknames, he loves calling you things like his number one, sweet thing, and doll.

Wraps his arms around you and just goes "how's my number one?" or cuddles up into you and goes "wanna watch a movie, doll?"

Our loveable, adorable, asshole.

NSFW 💛

Please have a sit down conversation with him about boundaries and safe words because this man will not think about bringing it up. He just wants to jump your bones.

In the beginning of the relationship, he'll act all cocky but when it comes down to it, he'll prolly get all flustered. He'll smile through the pain though. Bless him.

Please praise this man. He'll always love praise but he especially needs it in the early stages of ya'll's sex life. He just needs to know he's doing well.

Once he's confident though, it's a whole different story.

The nervous air and anxious jitters are gone and he's so much more cocky.

Praise him and tell him how good he feels in you and he'll just pop off with something like, "bet I'm the only one that can fuck you this good, huh?"

Licking. For the love of the gods. Licking.

Up your neck, up your thighs, on your chest, on your hips. The way you shudder under him just gets him going.

He will make you beg. He's an egotistical bastard and will make you embarrass yourself by having you tell him exactly what you want from him.

Might even grab your jaw and stick his thumb into your mouth and just taunt you. "Come on, mi amor. You can do better than that. Tell Daddy what you want."

Oh yeah, that's another thing. Daddy kink. Sir kink too. Call him Daddy or say "yes sir" to him and he'll go feral. If he's not already fucking you, count the minutes because he will be soon.

Pet 👏 play. 👏 Collars, leashes, ears, tails if you let him. Let him fuck you from behind while he jerks on the leash tight enough to mildly choke you. He loves hearing you whine and struggle to breath properly.

But on the rougher side. He wants to break you. Wants to see you cry as he pumps into you and pushes you over the edge again and again and again.

Will overstimulate you if you let him. "Please Leo I can't take it anymore!" "You can and you will. You wanted me to fuck you and now we stop when I'm done, not when you are. Understand?"

Degrading and brat taming. Loves calling you his cock sleeve, his whore. Just brat and you're guaranteed to have a firm hand to your hip or neck.

"Drop the attitude before I fuck it out of you, slut".

Please wear thigh highs and a short skirt around him. He'll go crazy and bend you over the closest surface.

"Such a whore. Wearing that around me. You know how much that turns me on. I'm sure you were betting on that though, huh? Fuck your such a cumslut for Daddy".

Bad at aftercare at first. But teach him how to do it and he'll quickly master it. Soft touches as he nuzzles into your neck, kissing any bruises or spots that will inevitably bruise. The two of you help clean each other up. You'll offer to get water while he offers to start a shower for you two.

Also loves flustering you. But with nicknames. He has a few nicknames that he has that he only pulls out with the intent to fluster you.

Sparring and you have him pinned down? "Good job, pet". Your brain will short circuit and oh will you look at that? You just lost the sparring match.

Ghosts his lips over your skin until your breath heavy and clutching onto him only for him to pull back and innocently rub your waist.

"You ok, mi vida? You're breathing awfully heavy."

•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•☾☼☽•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•

Donatello (My beloved) 🧡

Tsundere to the max. Omfg. 💀

You think he hates you until one day you need help with a bug on your phone and he fixes it, no questions asked.

"Wow. I honestly thought you wouldn't help." "Why wouldn't I?" "Ion know. I thought you hated me?" "Why would I hate you? Dislike maybe, but not hate. It would be illogical to hate somebody who's done nothing to deserve it".

Ever since that day, you become more comfortable around him and he definitely notices it too.

It doesn't take you long to pick up on all the ways he says he loves you. He doesn't say it often, he shows it. To you, to his brothers, to his dad, to April.

When the two of you first started dating, his affections became more common but albeit private.

Soft head bonks, rubbing your wrist while the two of you read, a soft kiss brushed to your cheek as you get him another cup of coffee.

Before you know it, he becomes much more comfortable expressing his affections to you.

Cuddling into you as the two of you drift off to sleep, sitting in his lap as he works, slinking his arms around your waist and kissing the junction of your neck when your in the kitchen doing something.

His brothers know better than to tease. They don't gotta worry about Donnie, no they gotta worry about your ass. The death glares you send. 🤭 If looks could kill, they'd be dead. Mostly just Leo though.

He's absolutely nocturnal. This man wakes up at about 3-5PM and goes to bed at like 3 in the goddamn fucking morning.

Pray if you're a morning person. Because he does not fucking care if it's time for you to get up. You're cuddling him dammit.

It takes several minutes of gentle kisses and tender words before he finally let's you go with a whine to let you get up.

If you're nocturnal like him though, he loves it. Waking up together and having your sweet moments together.

He'll practically purr into you as you hold him close and have a soft conversation with him. He'll pepper you with kisses and gently knead your plush skin, usually your thighs or sides.

His love language is quality time mixed with parallel play. He loves doing things with you and around you.

On a more obscure level, he loves support swapping. Loves it when you pull him away from his work after he's been staring at his computer for too long (will never admit it though).

Loves pulling you from your own work to force you to stretch or get a snack with him, taking time to sort of just exist in each other's presence as the two of you force the other not to overwork and maybe exchange a soft kiss or two.

Favorite season is winter. Doesn't exactly love the season more so as he loves the things that accompany it.

Warm sweaters, hot coco, cozy nights in with blankets, Christmas. But challenge him to a snowball fight and that man is gearing up to whoop your fucking ass. Prepare to die.

He usually just calls you by your name or simple things like love, hun, or dear. But occasionally, especially in private or when he's feeling extra lovey, he'll call you things like beloved, darling, or dove. (All Donnie's call their partner dove. Fight me).

"Come on, beloved. Break time. Let's get some food, yeah?" No that was not a suggestion.

NSFW 💛

He's probably gonna be the most confident, and I mean genuinely confident, once the two of you start getting intimate.

Bitch probably has a fucking bullet point list in his head of all the things he suspects you like based off of past reactions to things he's done.

Like Raph, he'll sit you down and have a serious discussion with you on do's and don't's, safe words or light system, what aftercare should look like, etc. He doesn't want either of you to accidentally cross any boundaries.

You don't initiate. You understand that this is something that he will need to initiate.

Like Raph, it'll probably get slowly steamier the longer ya'll date. Kissing will turn into make out sessions as he desperately grips your waist. Eventually he'll be the one grabbing your hips and having you grind into him, making you whine into his mouth. Which he eats up with a smirk because let's face it, he's just as egotistical as Leo. He just hides it better.

Once he finally gains the confidence to go all out on you then, with your consent, he absolutely will.

Please expect to be broken. This man can and will push you above and beyond your limits. He loves it.

The way you cry and wail as he brings you to another orgasm that you swore up and down that you wouldn't be able to handle while he chokes you or yanks your hair.

PLEASE wear cheap mascara around him. He loves to see you cry. Loves to see the mascara become ruined on your face as it streaks down with your tears.

Will bully you. Look at me when I tell you this. I hope you enjoy being degraded

"Fuck your so wet and I've barely even touched. You're an absolute slut for me, aren't you? How pathetic. Getting so horny just from a few simple touches, hoping that I'll stuff you full and fuck you so hard that your mind breaks. Turn you into a stupid slut".

Bondage. Need I say more? This man loves tying you up with different colored ropes and making you all pretty. Loves seeing the marks they leave afterwards.

Will strap you to a fucking machine and have it fuck you agonizing slow while he masturbates until your crying and begging him to fuck you.

Be on your fucking guard because that man will punish you for anything.

You catch an attitude? He's raising his eyebrows at you before giving you a dangerous smirk. "Go ahead, darling. Keep talking shit. It'll only end badly for you".

He'll bend you over his knee and seat your ass till it's red and welted.

Donnie is a man of science. That include biology, which in turn, extends to your biology. He loves finding out just what makes your body sing for him.

He can't get enough of it. He'll do things on purpose just to see your body respond to him. Anywhere from a hitch to your breath as he grips your hips and jerks you closer to him to the way your body arches and your eyes roll back as he moves those same hips so he can fuck you at a different angle.

Get on your knees and beg. It'll give him such an ego boost. Just prattle on about how much you need him and eventually he'll lean over and grip your jaw, prolly shove his thumb in your mouth if you're lucky, and just go "well since you asked so nicely".

Such a sweetie during aftercare. This man can fuck you like he hates you and then turn right around and gently kiss your sore and bruises body. Cleaning your body off and getting you some water. Will probably do his damnedest to convince you to take a post sex shower with him.

When it comes to flustering you, he enjoys man handling you. Sure man handling you during sex is also fun, but seeing the way you get all flustered as he easily maneuvers you however way he wishes in such a simple way just makes him want to laugh.

He'll also grip you in that way that makes your head spin. Grabbing your hips? Sure. It's sweet. Grabbing your hips in a vice grip and subtly jerking your lowering body to his? Your head is spinning and you're three seconds away from begging Donnie to fuck you on the nearest surface.

He'll feign innocence though. Because, of course he will. He's a bastard. 🙄 It doesn't help that he'll subtly grind up against you and drop his tone down to growl in your ear so only you can hear.

"Whatever are you talking about, dove? I'm not doing anything. Maybe get your head out of the gutter, hm?"

•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•☾☼☽•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•

Michaelangelo 🧡

MY SWEET HUNNY SUGAR BABY PIE! I LOVE HIMS!

Anyways-

Utter sweetheart. Very affectionate, even if you two are just friends.

Will sprawl himself out on your lap. Don't you dare move him or he'll hunker down into his shell to make you feel bad at the thought of moving him.

Heaven forbid ya'll are dating though. He's 10xs more affectionate. R.I.P to you. Get ready to drown.

He loves peppering you with those feather light kisses, just like Raph. Especially your neck and shoulders.

Loves holding your hand and will randomly kiss your knuckles or pull you towards him for a kiss on the lips.

Absolute baby. Please smother him back. He'll start chirping and nuzzling into you for more.

His love language is a mixture of quality time and touch. Please snuggle with him while you watch a movie. Let him crawl up into your lap while you're on your phone.

On the more obscure side, Mikey penguin pebbles a lot. Finding small rocks or trinkets he thinks you'd like and giving them to you. If you have your own place and you display them in plain sight, he feels very proud and accomplished.

Another biter. Just goes O: 3: on your damn arms and legs. Really anywhere he can reach.

It's soft don't worry, sometimes he'll nip a bit harder if he feels like you're not paying proper attention to him but not so hard that it hurts. Just enough that it jerks your attention to him.

His favorite season is autumn. Everything is yellow and orange! Why wouldn't he love it?

Loves sneaking up top with you to play in leaves with you. Making massive piles or just throwing leaves at each other. He adores it.

He'll pick spare leaves out of your hair before cradling your face and giving you a sweet kiss.

And then, obviously, shoving more leaves in your face. >:D

Please go to a pumpkin patch with him and get an absurd amount of pumpkins to place all around the lair.

Afternoon waker. Gets up at ready at about 11AM-1PM. If you're up before him, he'll prolly text you to let you know that he's awake and demand for cuddles.

Just lay down and let him straddle you, laying on your chest as he churrs while you kiss his face and ask him how he slept. He loves it.

If you wake up around his time, he'll prolly still pull himself up on top of you. Churring and nuzzling into you until your cracking your eyes open and smiling down at him. To which he'll respond with some sleepy morning kisses.

He loves getting ready with you. Brushing teeth together and maybe even picking out your outfit, if you'll let him.

Will make slightly inappropriate jokes. 😂

"You wanna wear pants today? I think these would make your ass look great."

Throw something soft at him and he'll just raise his hands up in surrender and go "heyyyyyy" and pretend to be offended with a giggle.

He loves cooking. So be a dear and brew some fresh coffee while he cooks you both a delicious breakfast yeah?

Always minding his P's and Q's. He's such a gentleman and always so eager to help. Opening doors for you, pulling out chairs for you, getting you flowers, the works.

Get him gifts back and he'll prolly cry from pure joy. Poor baby is almost always bursting with so much emotion. He's a bigger crybaby than Raph.

Other than normal couples nicknames, he uses other nicknames like angel, sunflower, and pumpkin.

"I saw this and thought of you! I love you, pumpkin".

NSFW 💛

When the two of you first start to get intimate, he's kinda 50/50. Like, he's chill with the idea and genuinely wants to explore your body and make you feel good, like bless his heart he's so honored you trust him with your body in such a way.

But like, he's also super nervous because he doesn't want to hurt you or mess up and then you loose trust in him and never wanna touch him again and then you leave and then-

Yeah he overthinks it just a tad.

Another one where you'll need to have the boundaries talk with him because he'll just never think to bring it up.

You'll need to initiate the first few times.

Get into a steamy make out session with him and place his unsure hands somewhere on your body like your chest, your neck, your thighs, etc.

He'll start to knead the flesh and once you start responding to him he'll have a sort of "oh shit, I kinda like that, I wanna make them do it again" sort of moment.

After that he'll slowly build up more confidence. Shyly exploring your body in moderation and finding your sweet spots and finding out what makes you tick.

Heaven forbid he's taller than you. Dear Lord, prepare to get caged. He enjoys just towering over you and caging you in, watching the way your breath hitches and your chest raises in a more dramatic way.

Once he's gained more confidence, Mikey has two modes. You begging and him begging.

If it's "you begging" mode, this man will tease you all fucking day long but never give you what you want.

Finally when you break he just goes "mmmm no. :D" before telling you that if your so desperate to fuck then you can ride his cock but he's not helping you at all.

He'll smirk up at you with an egotistical grin as he watches you fuck yourself on him. And right when you're about to cum, he'll grip your hips and forcibly hold you down and ruin your orgasm.

And he does it over and over and over again. Just continuously denying you until you're just utterly broken and sobbing for release. To which he'll finally let you.

And once you've finally came. You'll do so again and again and again. What? You wanted to cum so badly. You can do it a few more times right?

Will overstimulate you. He loves seeing your eyes roll back as you try to tell him it's too much.

He'll pepper you with kisses the whole time too. Nuzzling into your hair and breathing your scent in as he rubs your clit in order to drive you over the edge again.

If he's in "him begging" mode. Say your prayers. You're gonna need them.

He's arguably worse in this state. This usually happens when he's just super horny.

He'll just start advancing on you, and if you guys are in the eyesight of others, you'll need to move him before he gets too lost in your scent.

He'll start peeling your clothes off, whining and biting at you. If he could devour you, he would.

If you go to push him off or say no, he'll ignore you (unless you say the safe word, of course).

"No, no, no. Please don't make me stop. Please? Please I need you so bad. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Please I need this. I'm so sorry. Please just let me use you. I'm so sorry, sunflower. Fuck please".

He's a menace and it's now your problem ✨thank you.✨

Of course you could never deny him. 🤭💅

He'll sling your legs over his shoulders and grip anywhere that he can, biting at the flesh on your thighs in hopes of leaving a mark.

He'll breed you over and over again while babbling about how good you feel.

Praise him and he'll go feral.

Call him a good boy, tell him how good he fucks you, tell him how full you feel, how nobody could ever make you feel as good as he does.

Boy oh boy.

Say good bye to your legs.

He'll overstimulate you in this mode, but he's much less mean.

"Please angel? Please? Just one more? For me? Please, please, please. Please, I'm so sorry. I need it. Just one more time, I promise. Need to feel you cum on my cock again. Please sunshine?"

Oral 👏 giving 👏 king. 👏 Be ready to have to push him off after spazzing out on his tongue for the 8th time. You just taste so fucking good. He can't help himself.

Afterwards, for whatever mood he's in, he'll take such good care of you. He'll clean you up and you'll shower him with affection, causing him to practically purr into your embrace as you draw him in for post sex cuddles.

As for everyday shenanigans. He's not as bad as some of the others but oh trust me, this bitch has his ways.

Usually involves obscure touches or biting. Like slipping his fingers up your skirt just little too high, kneading the flesh of your thighs or ass as you do your best to remain neutral, desperately clinging onto control as he nuzzles into your neck and groans lowly.

Or he'll bite you slowly but a bit more harshly than his simple love bites, looking at you to see your reaction and then giggling darkly when your body inevitably reacts to him in that way that he loves oh so much.

He gets a kick out of knowing that he can do such simple things to you and almost immediately make your body react to him. He loves knowing he has that much control over you. That your body just knows him and responds in kind.

Come on. Can you blame him? You're just so pathetic for him! It's soooooo cute how quickly you give into him. His pathetic, needy baby.

Catch this man gripping you at the junction of your jaw and neck, squeezing ever so slightly so your eyelids flutter before he leans down to gently kiss you, hand sliding down to squeeze your ass.

"Keep it together, lovely".

When I tell you that I genuinely didn't mean to make it this long. 😭😭😭 But anyways! Tell me what ya'll think plsssssss. Even if it doesn't match up to the boys real well, I'm still pretty proud of it. >:3

[py-dreamer]

Macaque is big spoon

Lol the old men be snoozin and snugglin

(I was about to say sleeping but my mind is too dirty for that unfortunately-)

Y'wanna know why he big spoon?

The sun and moon thingy they have going on and...

Ehh, ehh? Y'see what I did there?

I hate fabric so god damn much.

WHY CAN'T YOU BEHAVE AND STAY STILL GODDAMN.

WHY MUST YOU CREASE AND HAVE LAYERS?!!? WHY CAN'T YOU BE SIMPLE AND FLAT

SAME WITH MACACA'S FUR.

WHY ARE YOU BLACK?!! HOW DO I RENDER YOU

TO QUOTE MY PAST SELF: "his true evil power is how hard he can be to draw"

LIKE MY DUDE. HOWWWWW.

Regardless, I'm still really happy with how the drawing came out like the lighting and stuff (just don't look at the fabric-)

Wukong couldn't give less than a flying f*ck if his pajamas matched. Like he's at home, let him be as much of a fashion disaster as he wants!

Heck, back in his day, he was prancing with a leaf skirt and that was acceptable, let the monkey be damnit.

But he would own something very funky like those peach shorts but specifically wear them on break days or in private

(Mac definitely made an inappropriate joke bout it; he has a mark you could read the king's fortune off of, on his right cheek-)

Mac loves his clouds cloudy king so sure, slap them on his pants I think he'd have those long fluffy or silky pajama pants and he like has a couple he switches out for every now and them.

Wukong struck me as a big shirt, short shorts guy

and Mac'doodles as a small shirt, big pants

On a more angsty note, after death I think he'd be a lot colder like its harder to generate body heat naturally so he'd be a lot more cuddly with his toasted marshmallow king cause he was literally toasty fried for 49 days in heaven (49 earth years if 1 year in heaven is a year belief is true)

I was really debating if they'd be in a tree like normal monkeys or in the stone palace cause like that's a whole thing.

Wukong is not only a king in name, he's got riches and a whole ass stone mansion, I want my boi to one day overcome his guilt and indesire for self care and move into the big boi house with his husbando...one day.

But until then, a girl can dream.

Cause come on, that'd be cool. I understand it'd feel real lonely without the stalwart generals and brotherhood but like he has new company and rekindling with his warrior might help with that.

I also think they'd rather sleep in a cozy lil alclove or like the beds in historical c-dramas that are kinda built in and they build a mini nest of sorts.

I was going to draw the monkeys but tbh, just wasn't feelin it...

Also wanted their tails to make a heart but the lil pointy bit always bugs me so I tried to make it into a more plausible scenario

And irl updates, I have been like formally rehearsing for a performance all week (as in a play) and practicing all day, just watched the 1st cast do it and its my turn tomorrow so wish me luck!

(btw I'm working with young kids, like 8-12 young and they all congregated around me when they saw me drawing like I was a glorified babysitter

And the amount of times I had to put the message on Mac's shirt on a different layer and hide it like bruh. The kids are lovely and all and I'd be happy to show my work but as you can see...not all of my works are...100% PG)

(pls reblog and feedback and stuff, I worked hard on this plss I beg...)

[princekirijo]

I gotta say I was not expecting to enjoy Devil May Cry as a series as much as I am, I'm kinda surprised it took me this long to get in to.

[writer-room]

I personally like headcanoning Peacemaker as still being just a little too similar to Darkstalker in some aspects. He's obviously still a good dude, in fact he's an absolute sweetheart, but there's still some...characteristics. You know what I'll list them for the good of my inner child

Kid gets big. And I mean big. He's nowhere near Darkstalker's size, but he ends up really tall and heavy for a NightWing, let alone one thats supposedly half RainWing, which are not overly big dragons to begin with. This leads to most dragons trying to convince him to move into professions that require big guys, but his strength still helps him plenty with farming. It does make some people ask questions, though

He's not as narrow as Darkstalker was. As Darkstalker grew, his features became noticeably sharper, more IceWing in body type. Peacemaker has softer features, however his face never truly changed. It's not as jutting such as in the jawbone or horns, but he has a much more defined face that seems to stand out on a rounder body. He's terrified a few dragons on accident who saw him from a distance or as a silhouette and thought he was Darkstalker risen from the dead. He never understood why everyone was so scared

Doesn't quite like the RainWing part of himself. As a kid, he was never sure why. Sure, some dragons weren't very nice about it, but his mom loved him plenty, he had some really nice dragons like Moon and Kinkajou who who were really sweet, so he never quite got why he was upset about it. Maybe he was still mad at the dad who wasn't there? He wasn't sure why he was upset about that, either. He got better after having a lot of talks with his mom and friends, but that little piece of self-hatred never fully went away, and he can't for the life of him explain why

Had a lot of imaginary friends as a kid. They didn't always have names, but they were usually dragons he made up in his head. Like a scardy-cat SeaWing all the other dragonets accused of just being Turtle, or an actually scary SeaWing, or a super smart NightWing who knew all the answers to everything! Sometimes he made up a new NightWing queen or played a pretend war with the other dragonets. Occasionally, he said his friend that week was a big shadow. He said the big shadow seemed kind of angry and sad, but his shadow liked to listen. He slowly stopped after a while. Some of his older friends started looking worried. Imaginary friends were for babies, anyway.

He still has Darkstalker's horns. Those never changed, for some reason. Maybe a little less pointy on the ends, maybe a little thicker at the base, but they were still very much Darkstalker's Horns. Hope & the gang silently freaked out about this, but when some dragon brought it up in earshot of little Peacemaker, he loudly proclaimed he liked his horns, they were all funky and looked kinda like mister Winter's horns! Mister Winter is kind of rude sometimes, but he seems nice, so Peacemaker doesn't mind looking kind of like him! Winter was tormented over this for months

Sometimes he'll just...say things. That sound a little too similar to what some other dragon was thinking. Or make random guesses that are very close to what will actually happen. It's never by much, usually finishing other dragon's sentences or predicting the next thirty seconds, but it's enough to make Moon twitchy. He just thinks he has good luck

Once asked Hope if he could ever have a little sister. He never asked again. He'd never seen his mom cry before.

[jedi-enthusiasm-blog]

No small part of Legends seems determined to make the Jedi look bad and the Sith look good. Considering the Sith are inspired by nazis and fascists, it's both funny and deeply concerning.

But I digress.

One of these attempts is the character Darth Vectivus, a human male Dark Lord of the Sith during the time of the Galactic Republic, when the Sith are in hiding. Apparently, he's a man with friends, with a family he loves and who love him back, a regular job… He's a perfectly normal guy, a perfectly mundane dude among thousands of megalomaniacs.

His first appeareance is as a ghost (some funky Dark Side thingy he created, btw), when he's trying to convince a Jedi (don't remember this one, I think it was a girl?) to strike him down. This is because these ghosts are connected to a living being, if the ghost is striken down, the being they're connected to dies. Vectivus is connected to Jacen Solo, who's on the edge of falling to the Dark Side. Apparently, Vectivus does not want a galaxy ruled by the kind of Sith Jacen Solo (or rather Darth Caedus) would become.

But, unlike other attempts at making the Sith look good in the EU, I actually like this guy. Why? Mostly for the funnies, not gonna lie. This Dark Lord of the Sith, the ultimate villain of the SW universe… is a perfectly normal guy with the same problems in his life as the rest of us.

Vectivus didn't know he was Force sensitive until his adulthood when, while doing Business™️, he and his employees came across a Dark Force nexus inside one of the mines they were working in. Fascinated by the power he could feel, he disolved his business, gave compensation to his employees, and went to search for the surviving Sith who could teach him. However, despite his Sith training, he remains a perfectly normal guy who lives a perfectly mundane life until his death, when he dies surrounded by friends and family. It's hilarious, can you imagine his Master's face? The sheer dissapointment?

He has restrain and moral standards. For example, he seems to be a decent boss and doesn't exploit his employees, cares for his friends and family and, just by guessing, isn't a complete asshole to his Apprentice since, whoever they are, they opt not to kill him despite the existance of the Rule of Two.

And yet… we find out he's still economically predatory, he still abuses his powers to harm and profit over rivals, and generally win at business. He isn't causing harm to those close to him, but he's still harnessing the Dark Side to hurt others.

That's the whole point, the Dark Side is always corruptive. Darth Vectivus is just less corrupted than most Sith.

That's it, that's what I like the most about the guy. He seems normal, is normal in a way… and yet he's still an evil bastard, only the regular evil bastard we find in our daily lives instead of the murderous crazy no-sense-of-restrain kind of Evil Bastard™️ we're used to see in a Sith.

It's… a bit of a grim reminder that evil is everywhere, in everyone, including you, and it can take many forms. That even the most kind-seeming people can be evil.

On the other side, the people he's murdered are… zero. Nonexistant, zero, nada. He's killed absolutely nobody. It's actually pretty funny. He's the only non-murderous Sith in existance, literally the only sane man in an Order of fascist megalomaniacs and it's hilarious.

I'm rather glad for his existance, actually, thanks Legends. Mostly because now I can say that I've killed as many people as a Dark Lord of the Sith.