#but like. its fun to have it follow my irl life as closely as possible i think

[dandyshucks]

in a real-life (aka non-pkmn world) AU, I think Guz would gift me a penguin plushie for some reason and I'd name it Henry. i feel absolutely nothing about penguins as animals but if he gifted me a plushie of one then I think I'd get really attached to it fhdkdl

[moonrisecoeur]

compliance (how to brainwash your boyfriend) — leon kennedy

author’s note: this was written with re4r!leon in mind bc that’s my boyfriend! angel said so!! i have… so many hypno ideas, some considerably more palatable and some that are Much Worse, so pls let me know if you want more! also this is based off of an audio i listened to once by everdistant-utopia on reddit! the headset concept is kind of (extremely) goofy but i was into it idk. again, i'm aware that mind control isn't real and this is a silly ass concept. i had fun doing it anyway. no leons were hurt in the making of this fic. sorry for not posting it sooner even tho it was done i was extremely embarrassed lol. pls ignore any typos. love you!! thank u!!

wc: 5k

content: sub!leon x fem!reader, afab reader, oral reader receiving, orgasm control, mention of feet for like two seconds

warning: this is dark content. please do not read if the following topics are sensitive to you: noncon, hypnosis, mind control. i dont endorse or encourage this type of behavior irl, its just a fantasy!

—

as you walk down the street, you walk by a flier that’s sitting on the sidewalk. you don’t stop to read it, but one word caught your eye. mind control. it was probably something stupid, something completely made up by some lunatic who thinks mind control is real. mind control is maybe, technically real, in the ‘just relax and close your eyes, breathe deeply and let yourself be at peace’ kind of way. definitely not the ‘put on this headset and let me rewire your brain to make you my pet’ kind of way.

but… would it really hurt to look at the flier? you turn around to see it’s still there, and, against all your better judgment, you decide to walk up to it and pick it up.

it’s dirty, wet because of the rain from last night. even still, you can read the description of the advertised product clearly, along with some more info like a website and contact info for the designers. you take a brief moment to wonder who in the hell comes up with that stuff.

introducing you to the ultra brainwasher headset 3000! perfect for all of your mind control needs! simply place the device over the subjected head and choose what you’d like to do with them. need an obedient housewife? in search of a new pet? want them to be madly in love and obsessed with you? all of that and more is possible with the ultra brainwasher headset 3000! visit our website and order the headset today!

you blink. this is insane. who would do this? who would make this? why would anyone want to make someone do any of this against their will? you feel sick to your stomach as you crumple up the flier and toss it in the nearest trash can.

because that’s… that’s not consensual. that’s wrong in every possible way. unless they gave consent to be, what, turned into an ‘obedient housewife’? that’s really what it said? there’s just no way that’s right. how is that legal to sell? what even was that flier doing?

this feels like the kind of thing that would be sold on the black market, not openly advertised to people on the street. what if some lunatic saw it and just started brainwashing people? no one could stop them, it’s not exactly a crime in and of itself, and any crimes committed would be a little difficult to report if the ‘subject’ was too mindless to notice or to say anything.

whatever. you threw the flier away, you did your job as a good samaritan by tossing it so someone much much worse than you wouldn’t get a chance to look at it, and thus, you can forget all about the headset. pretend you never saw the flier or knew it existed and carry on with your life.

except, you can’t really. it permeates your thoughts, seeps inside of your subconscious until you begin to hypothesize that the headset wasn’t the real hypnosis, it was seeing that flier. you know you must be delusional. it’s not real, you’re not really mind controlled from just reading the flier, but… would it really hurt it buy it? you had the money for it and it’s not too expensive at all.

you hate yourself for it but you look on the website, just as hypnotic as the flier was, and you see multiple variations of the headset. some more suited towards different outcomes for ‘subjects’ and some just different stylistically.

you find the one you were looking at earlier. the ultra brainwasher 3000. it’s a stupid name, you’re aware. it just doesn’t really matter because who’s gonna know that you own this? you’ll keep it, maybe try it out on yourself to see what it’s like. you won’t do anything crazy, maybe like, hypnotize yourself to not be able to sit down until all your household chores are done, just for the day. the ultra brainwasher 3000 claims to have this functionality, and you’re… more or less, curious.

you order it and spend two weeks in absolute hell, making sure your boyfriend is never home alone when the package could arrive. you’re not worried he’d open it and see the device. he doesn’t look through your stuff, but the packing sticker ‘brainmelting industrial company’ would…. catch his eye for sure. try explaining that to your boyfriend, especially because even if you’re a good liar, you’re not to leon.

but, you get it, and it’s perfect because leon isn’t home right now, and you get to play with your new toy for a little bit. the box is smaller than you expected, only including the headset, a charging cord, and a set of instructions.

as you’re reading, the thought only just now hits you. it’s surprising that it’s taken you this long to have this idea, given how it would be someone else’s first instinct.

“should i…” you murmur to yourself, looking around nervously to see if anyone is in earshot, “… should i use this on leon..?”

i don’t know, should you use a mind control headset on your poor boyfriend that was just sent on a mission to save the fucking president’s daughter? maybe not.

you don’t know how it took you this long to come up with the concept. i mean, the flier did mention making someone your obedient housewife, but… they never said that someone had to be a girl…

it’s gross or actually more disgusting, honestly, how excited you get at the prospect of doing this to leon, but you decide that yeah, fuck it, you might as well brainwash your boyfriend. truthfully, what are the consequences? besides… ruining your relationship, betraying his trust, destroying him as a person… eh, it’s only temporary, right? there’s ways to make it only temporary.. and there’s no way he’d remember..

you fiddle with it, curious of all the different things you could do to him. the headset didn’t have presets, you could make up literally anything you wanted him to believe. you could make him the obedient housewife, but you could also make him a servant, maybe even dress him up all pretty as a maid. you could make sure of his loyalty and commitment, make him be so in love with you that even the thought of being with another woman makes him physically ill.

he gets home later that night, worn down and tired and exhausted in every possible way. and you know you’re going to have to put on your best acting skills. you’re not sure if you’re ready to do this, but you’re gonna have to be, so you press a sweet kiss to his lips, one he lingers on for just a moment too long. his lips chase after yours as his eyes open back up slowly, looking at you through his pretty lashes, an eyebrow raised, “what?”

you can’t help but adore him, his bluntness and gruff attitude, yet how soft he touches your waist as he pulls you closer. leon is nothing if not gentle and sweet, and you love that about him, “nothing, i just… i just wanted to look at you,” you say, and it reminds you just how easy leon is. just a couple of words and his eyes get a little glassy, his heart leaping out of his chest just a bit.

it sometimes helps that your boyfriend has been through every form of hell since that day in raccoon city, so sometimes just sweet words and little gestures get a bigger reaction than you’d expect. he’s traumatized and broken down, so the love you give him matters so much more.

in short, he’s easy. he gives in quickly and doesn’t like to fight, not with you. gives you everything you want, doesn’t protest, doesn’t ask for much besides your attention and love.

“you always stare at me,” he says awkwardly. god he’s so not charming that it makes him effortlessly likable.

that’s what’s so sucky about the idea of hypnosis. do you lose the person he used to be? sure, a mindless househusband would be great, helplessly obedient and passive and hardworking, but does this override his actual personality? that’s a bit too scary.

you make an effort to soak in these parts of his personality, enjoying every inch of his pretty little mind. you decide that no matter what you do to him, you can’t ruin him completely. you’d miss his heart, rough and guarded but nonetheless yours.

“i wanna try something,” you murmur to him, your heart pounding a little more than it should, “do you trust me?”

“of course i do,” he says. your heart almost aches, he trusts you so implicitly.

“close your eyes,” you say, and he complies easily.

you step away to grab the headset, and he’s so sweet and good that he doesn’t even peek. you take a deep breath, and commit to it.

you place it on his head, and he grumbles, but doesn’t object. poor thing. doesn’t even realize what’s happening to him.

—

the setting on the headset that you chose wasn’t anything flashy but it was labeled ‘semi-permanent’ and it stated that the subject would not remember anything from the moment of hypnosis to the moment they wake up next. so, all and all, even if you felt horrible, the damage wouldn’t be permanent, and leon wouldn’t even remember what happened.

truthfully, it felt like nothing could go wrong. it wouldn’t alter him too much, just… make him helplessly obedient for a couple hours. you could turn up the intensity if you wanted to, if it wasn’t quite enough to satisfy your curiosity.

you decide that it’s now or never, especially since being lost in your head while your boyfriend is cluelessly wearing what looks like a vr headset is kind of… odd.

you start the application, waiting for it to begin on his end.

“what are you up to?” he asks innocently, probably still not seeing anything while it loads. the question sounds like an accusation, but it’s really not. leon genuinely just wants to know what’s going on. it’s hard not to, but you don’t answer.

you notice the exact moment that it starts because grunts out of nowhere and his whole body tenses, and he clutches onto the fabric of the couch cushions, using that sense as a way to ground himself during an overload of audio and visual stimulation.

you reach to grab his hand, and his grasps yours tightly, desperately, as if physically pleading with you to make it stop.

you whisper to him, “shhh, nice and easy,” you’re not even sure if he can hear you, but you still feel the need to speak. you’re not sure if it’s your voice or your touch but he relaxes just slightly, his breath raggedy and tense. he’s trying like hell to keep himself together, but it’s so overwhelming that it’s hard for him to think, “hey… it’s okay. you’re okay, just… let it happen.”

a pathetic little whimper escapes his throat as his body goes slack, jaw hanging open and arms hanging limply by his sides, “wha… why?” his voice sounds small, weak, and if you weren’t so cruel, you’d immediately take it all back and apologize and just face the consequences.

but you’re too far deep to back out now, even if leon’s pitiful demeanor is almost swaying you to stop, you know you can’t. not now.

“i… i thought you…” he whines, body tensing and spasming as he tries to put some form of coherent thought together, “wha… why..?” he whimpers again, pathetically broken down in just a matter of minutes.

you sit there with him, holding his hand, waiting for the process to be done, and once it is, you take the headset off.

he seems agitated, but doesn’t seem to know what at. his muscles are tense, but he doesn’t make any sudden movements.

“hey,” you mutter gently, and he almost flinches at the sound, looking at you with those wide deer eyes again, scared. you reach out to touch his face, fingers caressing his cheek.

the cogs in his brain turn as he processes what’s happening, and the agitation seems to evaporate and become replaced by a sense of calm and relaxation. he looks into your eyes, and it seems like he’s deciding something.

“leon?”

“yes? how�� can i serve you?” he asks, jaw dropping at his own words. he’s so stunned at what he’s saying and how he’s acting yet he can’t help it.

“…address me as… ma’am,” you say, and he shivers, eyes closing tensely as he tries to figure out what the hell is going on, “and go get me something. how about… a cup of coffee? yeah, let’s start there.”

it makes sense that he’s fading in and out, the programming would probably need more time to settle in before it was done and his personality obviously wouldn’t just disappear, but it was still a little bit heartbreaking to watch him fight the voice in his head that is desperate to obey you.

as he disappears into the kitchen, you sit where he was sitting on the couch to take a moment to think it all over.

leon has never been the most… dominant man. he has his moments of aggression and tension that turn into a roughness that his soul seems to often carry, but it’s never controlling. he’s not demanding, he asks nothing of you besides gracing him with your presence.

but due to his past, submission also doesn’t come easy to him. he likes to think he would lean more sub, just because he’s so malleable to your will, so easy to convince. anything you want is yours, and if you want his dignity laid out in the palm of your hand, then it’s yours to keep for eternity. he just struggles to fully give up control, especially since you know he’s not really had much of that in his life.

you kept his personality intact for the most part, but… he just seems so different. he responds pretty much the same, talks the same, acts the same. something just doesn’t seem right.

“here’s the coffee you asked for,” he mutters when he returns, his voice gruff but soft at the same time. he’s… definitely conflicted. the implanted urge to obey you mindlessly and the natural urge to protect his self-respect are fighting in his head. you watch curiously to see which will win.

leon has been through hell, and you can always see it when you look into his eyes. he’s been controlled by the government, a puppet on their strings, since he survived that night in raccoon city. he must be used to a lack of control in his life. but now he’s your puppet, and you have no interest in using him as a killing machine. you have… different plans for him.

“thanks,” you whisper, and he nods, quiet but obedient. just how you wanted him. he stands there beside you, not really knowing what to do with himself as you take a sip, “rub my feet now.”

“..what?”

“you heard me,” you say. and he did.

something in his stomach sinks at the command, a feeling of urgency to do as you say fills his entire being, but it just feels so wrong to him. you’re never this brazen, this demanding.

“come on, leon,” you say, almost condescendingly, pointing to the floor right in front of the couch, “on… your… knees.”

he breathes shakily, but kneels down in front of you, avoiding eye contact as he gives you your damn foot massage. there’s turmoil in his head, easily seen by that deer-like look in his eyes as he stares wide-eyed at the ground. despite his roughness, he’s always had these soft, fragile eyes, reminding you of who he really is. it would be truly heartbreaking to watch him go through this if it also wasn’t incredibly attractive to put him on his knees and order him around.

leon has always been relatively compliant, but now it’s on a whole other level. anything you ask for, despite some inner conflict, he’ll do. you wonder just how far you could push him, but… you don’t decide to test that just yet.

for a few minutes, or however long it takes for you to finish your coffee, you sit there with him. his touch is good but not very skilled. he gets the tension and soreness out though, and you’re sure you could train that into him over time.

“take off your shirt,” you say, and his throws off his t-shirt easily. it lands in the corner unimportantly, and your smirk radiates confidence and something else much more sinister, “stand up, bend over in front of me.”

he closes his eyes tightly, clearly fighting that inner battle but the part of him desperate to get away and to not obey you is losing. he slowly rises to his feet and does as you ask. he places his hands on the coffee table, legs spread slightly like he already knows what’s about to happen. funny, because he doesn’t seem to know much of anything right now.

you stand up, hands touching all over him but particularly grasping at his ass, pulling down his sweatpants and boxers and enjoying the way his muscles flex, tightening and hardening when you grab him, “you never let me spank you,” you muse, almost annoyed, “i get it. you get nervous with power play and letting me dom you or whatever, but i always wanted to hit it just once. just to satisfy the curiosity of what it would be like.”

your hand pulls back and slams against his butt with a loud smacking noise. he gasps, breathing out shakily after the hit, “i… i’m sorry, ma’am.”

“but now that we’re here… and i’ve already got a taste, i don’t think i ever want to stop. so, from now on, no more of that. if i want to slap your ass, i’m going to,” you murmur, “and you will not try to stop me or convince me not to.”

“i.. i…” he whimpers, and for a second you pause, nervously that the real leon, somehow deep down, heard that, “… yes, ma’am.”

“good,” you mutter, slapping it again, feeling the hit in your hand as you pull away, and if you can feel it so clearly then you’re sure he can, “now, be polite and say ‘thank you’. thank me for teaching you how to correctly behave.”

“tha… thank you, ma’am,” he whispers, eyes shutting slowly as his deep inner need to resist is weakening.

“i own you now,” you groan, grasping at his hips posessively, mouth pressing open kisses to his bare shoulder, “no, i… have always owned you. owned your body, you just didn’t realize it.”

he nods, incredibly turned on. his body aches to be claimed, to be made yours.

sure, leon has always been yours, but his body has been purely his. he’s… cautious with it. he’s been more or less just too busy for romantic partners, but somehow you snuck your way into his life and he happily lets you stay. he just… is slowly learning to trust you with himself.

he can do easy, comfortable, casual sex. what he can’t do is hand himself over to you like this, helplessly obedient, submissive in every possible way. as much as leon doesn’t have the energy to fight, tired and worn down, fighting is all he know.

your nails drag against the skin of his torso and back, leaving pretty red lines wherever they go, “no more fighting. no more stressing about it. all you have to do is be mine, unequivocally.”

“i… i am..” he mumbles, and you tilt your head, eyeing him curiously. he notices, shying away, “i… i am yours. unequivocally. you can… you can have me.”

manhandling has always been a little difficult, considering leon is all muscle and he’s a sturdy guy, but you spin him at the hips to face you, and he’s effortlessly moved, “can i… have your body just as much as i have your heart?”

“yes, i… yes, ma’am, it’s yours. do whatever you want with it, ma’am,” he says, a slight daze in his eyes, clearly he’s not all the way there. he's trying. he’s still so soft, so tender and malleable, so leon.

you lean in to press a kiss to his lips, and he melts into your touch, hands grasping him roughly, in a way that might hurt anyone else, but leon is strong. sure, your touch is bruising him, but… he doesn’t have enough

of his mind left to be bothered.

lips trail down his neck and shoulder, but move back up to his ear, sucking on his skin in a vampiric manner. you whisper to him, “you’re gonna only focus on my pleasure.”

“i… i am? i… i am…” he stutters, god it’s so damn cute.

“of course you are. you’d rather eat me out than have an orgasm yourself, wouldn’t you? if i was a crueler person, i would find a way to mind control your orgasms away completely. that way you could… focus on my pleasure, but i’m not that mean.”

he shudders, your lips pressing to the sensitive spot underneath his ear, teeth dragging down his skin, teasing him, taunting him.

“you wanna eat now?” you ask, lips pressed to his collarbone now, and he moans out an affirmative. you suck a hickey against the skin right atop of the bone, admiring the redness, the way you get to watch it turn a disgusting shade of purple. one that should make you nervous to have done to him, only turns you on.

instead of ordering him into his knees this time, you just push him, easily putting his head between your legs. his hands come up to hold your thighs, steadying himself as you half-stand half-sit on the counter. he pulls your pants down enough , but can’t even be bothered to take off your panties, just pushing them to the side.

“can.. i, ma’am?”

you chuckle, not really expecting him to be so polite, “go for it, sweet thing.”

he leans in, pressing a teasing kiss to your clit, just once, before his tongue meets your folds and he licks and sucks like tomorrow won’t come but he’ll make sure you will. he groans into your pussy like he’s the one being pleasured, and that honestly seems like a fair comparison. sure, he was physically pleasing you, but even just the act of giving oral is making his head spin with a satisfaction he has never felt before. he could get high off of this.

leon has always been good at giving head. much better than just good. he’s incredible. it’s the one thing where he can fully just zone out. if you’re too lost in your own pleasure, then you can’t focus on him and how he’s feeling, and there’s something oddly safe about the feeling of being, for all intents and purposes, alone with his thoughts. eating your pussy just comes so natural that it’s second nature.

but now? he can’t get lost in his thoughts if he doesn’t have any. doesn’t mean he’s enjoying it any less. he’s enjoying anything you ask him to do. you could tell him to go fold your laundry and then clean your bathroom and do your dishes and he’s do everything diligently and he’d be satisfied the whole time. god, maybe you do really want a househusband. besides, leon could use the emotional break from his job. he’s content enough serving you.

he makes you cum sooner than you expected, but it’s literally just because he’s that good with his tongue, and when he moved one his hands from your thigh to press two fingers into your cunt, fingering you in thick circular motions as he sucked on your clit, you were gone.

he continues, wet fingers gushing in a fast rhythm as you orgasm, grinding against his mouth, using him completely for your own pleasure. it was always a secret fantasy of his, and now it’s reality, even if his mind isn’t all the way there and the only thoughts running through his head are is she pleased with me? did i do a good job? do i deserve her praise? i should do better next time. i should serve her better. i only want to serve her.

and now that he’s completely helpless, servitude being the only concept he can comprehend, and you come down from a high so intense it took you a second to remember that leon was waiting patiently for your next command, next order.

“put… put me on the couch…” you gasp out in heavy breaths.

he’s strong, and he helps to guide you to the couch, body still part paralyzed from such an intense pleasure. you lay there, still breathing a little heavy.

“go get dressed and cleaned up…” you mutter to him, “and then come back out here and cuddle up next to me.”

he does as you ask, finding his clothes and getting dressed again, and then when he approaches the couch again, you reach out your arms for him. the smile he gives you is almost too real. too… really leon. you still feel that twinge of nervousness in your gut, but then he lays against you, head tucked into the crook of your neck, and you know he doesn’t know. for all that he’s good at, leon’s not a great actor.

you reach your hand up to run your fingers through his hair repeatedly, soft and soothing motions to lull him into a state of compliance.

“you’re mine,” you whisper, hoping he’ll confirm it back.

of course he does, softly, no longer feeling conflicted, “yours, ma’am.”

“you’ll be obedient and submissive from now on,” your voice is soft but carries a dominance he doesn’t quite think he could ever escape nor would he ever want to.

“i’ll be.. obedient and submissive.”

“you’ll only focus on my pleasure,” you say, knowing he’ll repeat it back obediently just like the ones previous, but you feel his rock hard cock against your leg and as much as you want to shove his cock inside of you in an instant, you can’t help but want to control him like that. keep his orgasms just out of reach until he goes mad from the teasing and edging you plan to do to him. keep him nice and horny and desperate, just how you like him. if he wasn’t submissive enough for you before, he is now.

“only yours, only ever yours, please…” his voice is soft and meek and god if you wanted to you could find a mind control that was permanent and just… leave him like this forever. let him take care of your home and future kids and do your household chores and tasks. keep him completely obedient, god it would be…

“you can’t resist,” you whisper, leaning into his hair,

resting your head against his in a soft intimate moment, “i can’t resist, ma’am.”

you nod gently, and after a moment, you sigh, running your fingers through his hair, “i’m.. i love you, leon. sorry about all of this..”

“… why are you apologizing, ma’am?” he asks, tilting his head slightly even in your grasp to show confusion. he really is just like a little puppy sometimes.

“you know.. about the mind control.”

he shrugs, the most unbothered happy smile on his face, “oh, that’s.. that’s okay, i’m fine with it. i.. already belonged to you.”

“but that was in a more… romantic way. an ‘i belong with you’ kind of way. not the kind i did to you,” you say, just a tinge of guilt holding you back, but you push it aside, “it’s nothing, don’t worry about it. i just.. just know i love you. even when i’m ordering you around.”

“i’ll remember that, ma’am,” he smiles up at you just a little softer, just a little more like his true self, just a little more leon. that heavy feeling of guilt in your gut will never quite go away, will it?

you fall asleep on the couch together, knowing or maybe just hoping you’ll wake up to leon not remembering anything. hopefully he doesn’t piece together that he has no memory of you giving him that hickey and those bruises on his hips were definitely not his job's doing.

—

you wake up to a fond smell of breakfast and a bright morning, sitting up off the couch as you look at your phone. leon’s not laying there next to you, which is odd but not completely uncommon. sometimes he goes out in the morning to work out or disappears in the middle of the night when he’s needed somewhere, but most of the time, and today included, he’s just in the kitchen.

you find him there, standing in front of the coffee pot, and you walk up to him to wrap your arms around his midsection, softly burying your face into his back to shyly hide from his gaze.

“awh, morning lovebug,” his sweet raspy morning voice says to you, a hand on your arms, holding you tight so there’s not even a chance you could let go, “missed ya yesterday. did you sleep alright?”

“...mhm,” you hum, pressing a sweet kiss to his shoulder blade.

it’s a sweet moment, full of love and warmth and tenderness and you could have almost forgotten what you did to leon last night had the smell of coffee not been hanging in the air. but hey, at least he doesn’t remember what really happened, though he’s kind of confused just how he forgot how he got all of these bruises and scratches.

[miku-the-emo]

HOLY SHIT MIKU MAKES A INTRODUCTION POST

[ ABOUT ME LOL ] ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

helloo im miku/slyvan n i go by all pronouns (altho i prefer she/pupself)

I'm nonbinary and sexuality questioning, i'm also Deaf. theres a pretty big possibility i may have autism, but i am in the process rn so uh wish me luck guys

i like a lot of stuff but my main interests r undertale AUs and uhm psychology ....

i put psychology in everything i make oops

i live in usa

i am a therian (dog therian to be specific)

[ BOUNDARIES + FYI ] ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

dont ask me questions about my disability or any of my personal life stuff. safety reasons. i also dont like questions abt being deaf you have google

i am a 15 year old, if i am currently following you and it doesnt allow 15 year olds, lmk and i will unfollow, no questions asked. Also, people over 18 and under 14, id like if you guys didnt follow me. thanks.

i dont understand social cues about ...90% of the time, so i dont understand subtle sarcasm .. i also get upset over anything regarding politics... not fun . i may also speak or phrase things weirdly, its how i function, apologies for any miscommunication!!!

i may use pupself pronouns, but i still struggle with processing some pronouns, i am working on being able to understand and process them!!

[ DNIS ] ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

anti-lgbtq+, racist, ableist, etc.

pedophile, groomer, pro/comshipper, etc.

pornography viewers are thin ice unless you are a very close irl friend.

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

[relaxxattack]

hi im asking u this bc u seem to be bee duo enthusiast so

ive been calling c! beeduos relationship platonic because i thought that was what their cc’s said, and i thought they had said that they were uncomfortable with ppl shipping the characters. But ive seen a lot of posts that say their relationship is canonically romantic? and i absolutely do not want to come across as homophobic by watering down a mlm relationship to just friends because that happens so much in media so.

what is the canon state of their relationship / ur opinions on the platonic thibg

dont worry abt answering if u dont want to!! i see a lot of differing opinions and i trust yours :)

aw it’s totally fine, im flattered you asked me about this!

let me put it simply: it’s a whole mess, lol.

first im going to talk about what’s happened fandom-wide that caused differing opinions, and then i’ll explain my own opinion/interpretation. :]

(this got really fucking long im so sorry)

ranboo and tubbo initially proclaimed the relationship was romantic, specifically in argument with the wiki editors who had set it as platonic by default. (you can see this in the vod where they decide they’re canonically married— it’s very funny. chat tells them the marriage is already on the wiki, they check, tubbo is jokingly offended that it says platonic and asks if he needs to up the romance).

tubbo also makes jokes about adultry, which sort of implies the relationship is not necessarily a platonic one.

(theres definetly more in that stream alone but it’s been a long time since i watched it so i don’t remember a lot of it.)

the wiki, because of this, suffers from going back and forth on platonic and romantic, seemingly unsure where the joke ends and the canon begins, or if its canonically a joke! a mess, as you can already tell.

this gets more complicated as the marriage bit goes on: outsiders, such as phil and scott, both at one point say “platonic marriage”, which then ranboo and tubbo agree with. however, when chat asks them if they’re platonic, they say the opposite. so there is a lot of confusion there.

there’s also the difficulty of being able to tell streamers and characters apart. ranboo and tubbo both don’t like being shipped irl, and that’s their boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed. (they’re also minors, but tbh when they’re 18 in a year i will still be following their boundaries regardless of their legal age).

due to people not wanting to be accused of minor shipping, they started adding the platonic tone indicator to most of their drawings— basically a way of saying “no homo”. meanwhile, tubbo frequently on stream flirts with ranboo and makes quite a bit of nsfw comments towards him that are frankly hilarious.

this goes on for a while with nobody really sure what’s canon, but a lot of people assuming it’s probably platonic, until: the drama of the mods night. a few mods dmed all the wiki editors telling them ranboo wanted his canon character relationship officially set to platonic.

unfortunately for those mods; the very same day, a few hours later, ranboo on stream makes fun of puffy delivering him and tubbo “friendship flowers”. because, and i quote, “bruh. we’re literally married. this must be how the ancient greeks felt.”

in case you don’t know, the internet often jokes about how historians will call ancient greeks ‘very good friends’ when they are quite obviously gay. so in this context, ranboo is joking that people will call him and c!tubbo, who are married, “close friends”, when he doesn’t think they are.

basically, ranboo canonized romantic bee duo, the very same day the mods told everyone he’d wanted a platonic one.

chaos and drama immediately erupted everywhere. on tumblr, we were talking about how weird it was of his mods to do something like that without asking him first. we ALSO talked about how weird it was of them to assume that ranboo can’t make his own decisions, or assume teenagers cannot be in relationships without it being sexual. twitter did the same thing but in the opposite direction: called ranboo mods homophobic, or said they were mad ranboo felt pressured into making a romantic relationship canon ‘just so people could have mlm rep.’

i dont want to go into detail about the drama that happened that night because apparently official people follow me and i dont want to stir it up or have them come “clarify” things. im just saying what we talked about.

ranboo in typical ranboo fashion apologized quickly and seriously. he was deeply sorry for possibly offending anyone with how he’d portrayed his rp relationship with tubbo, and he also assured everyone the mod thing was just a miscommunication.

he said he would talk to tubbo and they’d decide once and for all whether it was platonic or romantic, and then announce so everyone would know.

it’s now been a few months and we've had no word from them on that development. we still have no clue.

-

now, here’s my opinion:

i want to take ranboos word for it that it was a miscommunication with his mods, but... we had it on good authority from people on the wiki team and people in the discord with the mods that (while it was happening) they were really going after the wiki admins, and also made some weird comments about it. that combined with the way ranboo seemingly had no clue (considering he canonized their romance that very same day).... it’s very. sus of the mods.

then there’s the canon we’ve got since then. although occasionally adults in the room have called it a “platonic marriage” and tubbo once (back when it first started) called it a “plankton tectonic” marriage, in roleplay it’s been... kind of not that. tubbo and ranboo make nsfw jokes about each other in character, and their characters also share a master bedroom and bed in the mansion. there's also the way c!tommy really thinks it’s a romance between them as well, and they agree with and play off that— for instance confirming that they “fell in love” when he asked, or ranboo confirming that they “make out on occasion”.

people will still put platonic on their art and posts, imo, because they’re worried about breaking ranboo and tubbo’s irl boundaries by looking like they ship them. or even just being accused of shipping real life minors. and that’s a valid fear to have.

the thing is though: c!bee duo are not cc!bee duo. they’re roleplay characters. cc!bee duo are not okay with being shipped, but they made their characters get canonically married, and call each other “husbands”. so it’s okay to write the word “husband” in your comic without adding “platonic” to it, i promise.

telling the ccs that their characters have to be platonic is... weird. it comes off as not only babying them, but also as saying teens can’t date without it being gross. which isn’t true.

(this is why seeing people overuse “platonic husband” so much bothers me. like, they ARE husbands. you can just say it. what are you trying to hide...?)

-

do i think they’re canonically romantic? ehh, its likely. it’s still okay to interpret them as platonic, because again, it’s hard to tell where jokes end and roleplay begins. like, maybe it’s jokes in the rp too, and c!bee duo are just friends. friends can and should be allowed to make jokes like that with each other! aro & ace marriages exist!

or, maybe it’s actually part of the rp, and they’re very much romantic. we don’t know!

some people say they could be a qpr (queerplatonic romance), which i could see. (a qpr is a relationship that fluctuates between, or can’t quite be sorted into, “romantic” and “platonic”. people in a qpr can do romantic things while having platonic feelings for each other). in my opinion this is a very valid interpretation as well!

-

CONCLUSION (sorry this got so long omfg):

are c!bee duo romantic?

its likely, but you can still interpret them however you like!

should i put /p on bee duo content?

ehhh? i find it annoying when it’s overused (as do others), but if you’re worried you can. its up to preference. putting it too much is weird though

should i put /p on things cc! bee duo do?

no. you’re not the one saying it so you can’t decide the tone tags for that. imagine you said something to your friend and a random stranger came up and was like “haha but that was /p right...?”

can i ship c!bee duo?

mmm. i’m not sure on this one. they are canonically married and very flirtatious, but the ccs don’t like being shipped and they’re close enough to being the ccs that actively shipping might be against boundaries.

can i treat c!bee duo as romantic?

yes. literally just don’t be weird about it. it’s not that hard! you can understand that two characters are husbands without making it weird

here’s the most important thing: boundaries. cc bee duo still haven’t told us what their preferences and canon is about this whole thing.

right now, i am assuming based on what they already show us they’re comfortable with, but! the second they give us any more info! all these opinions will change!

i am only going off what they do. i would never want to cross boundaries at all. i just wish they would make theirs a little more clear.

..... i hope that helped anon, i went way off the rails... i need to go to sleep.

[obeymematches]

moving in with with your om! bf (GN MC) (not nsfw)

inspired by irl events🙈 see more at the end of this post dfghj

HoL = House of Lamentation

Lucifer: Stays in HoL but possibly renovates it a little bit to have more privacy. (as a compromise in case you reaaally didn't want to stay there - now you have your own bathroom + a small kitchen)

His brothers still depend on him so you continue to share family moments. (which isn't too bad, Lucifer is usually busy so sometimes you might actually want their company) Though now you get noticeably more alone time together - which makes him realize how it would've been a good idea to actually move out (he'd immediately regret that tho because he very care family).

Helps out with chores most of the time. Going OUT on dates is a must at least once a week or so otherwise both of you lose your minds. Nothing else changes, really. Mammon: More likely to move in with you in the human world but would (slightly) prefer the Devildom. (he'd only do that tho if he can secure a spot in a safer area for your sake. even if you are a powerful sorcerer.) Paying rent&bills is going to require hustle which might be a reason why you have to move back into HoL. (though...in canon if he is in love with u, u get rich even if u do nothing...so that'd be handy in this case) Definitely enjoys how he gets to keep you for himself and he is living for the small moments with you (such as morning cuddles) but also! with you everything is much more fun, even if both of you work multiple shifts; after each day you are so tired you can barely watch a movie. Both of you visit HoL on the regular.

Leviathan: The only reason he'd do it is to get more alone time with you. Would take ages to actually do it, but he'd prefer to live in the human world with you (it's safer + its better for anime and gaming). (Lucifer is against the idea which also slows down the process but he eventually gives in). You'd probably have an apartment in a city with fast internet connection (dw he's done his research) and where you can afford rent. He works from home (either esports or programming) so he is always there to greet you when you get home. Decorates the entire apartment with figurines and posters plus there is never enough space for him. Henry is there also. You'd think he cooks / bakes and you'd be wrong. 92% of the time it's take-out food time. Definitely needs help with chores at first but gets the hang of it easily. Occasionally you visit HoL.

Satan: Definitely would rather moving out and renting an apartment. I think he'd prefer the human world. I feel like he'd want to change cities often (every 3-5 yrs or so). He is a curious demon and there is always so much to learn about humans. Very domestic. Does the chores and he does them well. You can never complain. Somehow can balance work & you & chores. (probably needs explanation sometimes with equipment he isn't familiar with but we can excuse that) Every weekend is date weekend where you learn something new about each other and the culture of the country. Asmo visits every month or so & stays for ~3 days.

Asmodeus: hmm...i think he'd let you decide on the realm but he picks the exact location. He picks a very busy area with rich nightlife, but to your surprise he only participates like a couple of times a week, usually with you. Listen he adores being with you. Posts about your life together very often. Would start a new vlogging channel if you'd let him. Rent & bills are No Big Deal, though at first he is shocked at how expensive they are. Is fine with most of the chores but since he refuses to do the dishes, when it's him on dinner duty you both go on a date instead. Beelzebub: Refuses to move out if Belphie can't come, unless it's literally the house next to HoL. (/closest to. i'm not sure if they have like. a close neighbour) Rather domestic, does the chores and puts in work to get the bills. Sometimes you might not find him at home - he is either getting groceries or decided to visit Belphie. Would rather have a movie night with you than going out on a date. Depending on what kind of house it is, he might pick up gardening as a hobby. Belphegor: Similar to his twin he'd prefer staying close to him if possible, but if that can't happen he's fine with moving in with you in the human world. (yes he prefers that over the Devildom) Lucifer doesn't like this idea at all so you probably need to convince him.

Bills might be an issue as he keeps losing jobs but you can't really blame him for that, can you. Regaring chores, he only does the groceries, vacuuming, laundry, and changing sheets, everything else is up to you. Every Sunday you spend sleeping in & cuddling. Beelzebub visits you every week, usually on the weekends.

The rest of the characters are under the cut... long post

Barbatos: Hm... I think you'd probably need to move in the castle, or a small apartment very near. It is because of his job obviously, can't help it.

As he is the royal butler I imagine you wouldn't need to worry about bills / rent because. Yeah. Chores, on the other hand, fall on you very often - sometimes his job requires him to be there 24 hours a day. Even when he has more break time he'd rather not do chores at home as well because then he'd literally have no time left to spend with you. But when he can afford to do them, he definitely helps out & does them better than you (no shame in that tho he does this for a living)

Diavolo: Pretty obviously you move in the castle. No rent & no chores to worry about unless you are desperate to help Barbatos out.

He'd spend literally all his time with you if he could & Lucifer often scolds him for it. Neglecting work isn't a good idea right.

Every weekend there is something new to do, he spends lots of time thinking about how you are going to spend it. Also this would be the first time(s) you'd actually see him stress about work, since you live close enough to him now. (obviously he mentioned it many times before but that's a different experience) Solomon: Honestly you are free to choose where you'd want to live as he'd follow you anywhere.

Tbh I'm not sure about his finances but I'd like to imagine you don't have to worry about paying the bills. (as in: you have to work too if possible but that's ok)

He does his chores but he does them his way. If you do them differently he might comment but usually he just lets you be. It's entertaining to learn how many different ways there are to,,, doing dishes.

Simeon: Definitely prefers the Celestial Realm & I don't think there is much you can do to negotiate if you want to live with him. Similar to Solomon, paychecks aren't a big deal but it's something to consider; if possible you'd need to work to help out.

He has his favourite chores to do but occasionally he helps out with others as well, especially if he sees you might struggle / hate one.

a/n: for those wondering... no we didn't move in together yet because i'm still waiting for my vaccine... but once it's done we're ready<3 i'm a little bit nervous ngl but i'm so excited also dfgh

[oogaboogasphincter]

The 50/10 Method (Agent Whiskey x f!reader)

Summary: Jack makes the most of your 10 minute study break. 

Word Count: 2.7k+

Rating: E (explicit) 18+ ONLY! bc this is just cringey smut lmfao

Warnings: smut (oral (f receiving), unprotected p in v sex (obvi use protection irl), very easily and conveniently reached orgasms (this is a fantasy i can do what i want skjfkd), dirty talk, one (1) allusion to thigh riding and one (1) instance of 💙spitting💙, fingering, positions i hope i've given enough detail so y’all can imagine what i was picturing💀), pet names (sweetheart, honey, cowboy *affectionately*, good girl, baby), there’s a sentence about reader having long-ish hair, reader and jack have a dog, swearing, reader is afab and is called things like good girl and the like, just overall trash grammar and structure 😇

Author’s Note: so this is very poorly written and extremely self-indulgent, as i myself use the 50/10 method 🙃. but i had a lot of fun with it, and i think that’s what writing is supposed to be all about! :) also i was heavily inspired to write this after reading “Take a Break” by @mellowswriting​ and “Study Buddy” by @pascalpanic​. please go check those out because they’re absolutely fantastic!!!!! +while you’re at it, i would highly advise you to read anything on their masterlists bc they’re just 💜exquisite💜

gif by @thernandalorian​

The lines of text on your computer screen are starting to blend into each other, creating a single run-on sentence that one of your previous English teachers would ridicule the author for. The sharp curves and angles that distinguish each letter from the next are becoming soft and dull, blurring into each other until your brain can only recognize it as a smeared streak of black on white.

It’s 11:00am on a Saturday, a big exam set for the upcoming Monday’s morning. You don’t feel rushed for time, or overloaded with unknown material, and the early hours of the day have been quite productive. Following a shared breakfast of homemade waffles in bed with Jack, your boyfriend, you didn’t complain when setting up your study station on the living room’s large oak table. If anything, you had been excited to begin studying early in the hopes of finishing your review by the end of the day. That way, tomorrow would be free for you and Jack to do whatever you pleased.

However, as the hours went by, your motivation was slowly but surely diminishing. The serene study atmosphere that you usually thrive in is now driving you mad. You yearn for a noise, any noise; a bird to sing a song in the tree outside your window, the smack of your dog’s loose wrinkles against each other as he attempts to shake the sleep out of him, a pencil unable to stop itself from rolling and dropping onto the floor with a tink.

You’re momentarily gifted with the crisp sound of a page turning. You flit your eyes over to gaze upon the source of your granted wish and your heart flutters in reaction to the sight: Jack’s resting on the couch, cowboy hat balanced on the back of it, deeply absorbed in the next installment of his favorite murder-mystery series. You find it curious that his desire for an adrenaline-filled challenge doesn’t stop when he comes home from mission after mission that nearly cost him his life. You’ll ask him about his insatiability one day, but for now you categorize it as fictional research for his Statesman assignments.

Your short glance quickly turns into an entranced stare. Jack looks... divine. Fetching. Luscious. As he’s lying on his back, neck propped up against the arm of the couch, his book balanced on his chest, relaxation radiates off of him in waves and utterly seduces you. You’re surprised that he hasn’t been a greater distraction to you throughout the morning. How have you managed to ignore the denim-wearin’, plaid-shirted, pornstache-sportin’ cowboy of your dreams that is only a few steps away?

Involuntarily, the thigh muscles of your crossed legs contract in an effort to bring some semblance of friction to your now weeping core. Similar to your imaginings of your dog earlier, you shake your head to force these heavy, unwanted feelings to dissipate and turn back to the work in front of you. Of course, Jack does the opposite of what you’d like him to do and takes an interest in your fidgeting. He peeks over the top of his book, “You cold, sweetheart?” 

His question is reasonable: you’re purposely wearing a skirt that’s so short it rides up quite high when you sit. You don’t dare to meet his eyes and answer while pulling a textbook close and opening it up, “No, I’m okay.”

Fortunately he returns to his reading. Your attention is able to retain itself for about a paragraph, but then your mind takes a sharp detour back to those pesky, steamy desires. You mentally huff at your inability to remain concentrated on your studies and rifle through the options of what you can do to satiate yourself for the time being. 

You could switch texts and force your brain to recognize the change and therefore become distracted. You could pick out some colored writing utensils and bring some fun to active reading. You could say fuck it, go straddle Jack and beg him to use you in whichever way he would like.

Jack interrupts your brainstorming, “Are you sure you don’t need a blanket or sumthin’? I can go get my jacket for ya.” 

The attentiveness of your southern lover melts your heart. You turn to him, “No, really, I’m okay, thanks.”

“I wouldn’t count a bathroom break as taking away from your 50 minutes, honey, if that’s what’s makin’ you twitch.” 

You had been implementing and strictly adhering to the 50/10 method all morning: study for 50 minutes, take a break for ten. Its effectiveness was never doubted, as it has proven to work for you for years. Only ten minutes into this 50 minute period, the devil of restlessness pokes at you and makes you think could time go by any slower? A hand comes up to cover the blush creeping across your cheek as you dismiss Jack’s suggestion, “No, that’s not it.”

Behind your embarrassed hand, Jack cocks an eyebrow at you. Your simple choice of words has given the Agent a hint, that there is something that’s bothering you, he just hasn’t figured it out yet and you don’t want to admit what it is for some reason. He returns to his book, however lost in thought about what your problem could be, while you task every cell in your body to pay attention to your studies. 

35 minutes remain on the clock, and Jack guesses, “Did you have too much coffee?”

You can’t help but grin at his sleuthing, “No, I just had my regular.”

He conjures up another possible solution five minutes later, “Are you itchin’ to get out of the house? We haven’t left in two days.”

He’s getting warmer. Both of you know exactly why you haven’t left the house in two days: you’d been occupied with activities of the sinful variety. You can’t gauge yet whether or not he knows he’s dancing around the answer, “Baby, you’re distracting me. And nope, it’s not that.” 

He smiles apologetically, “Sorry,” and uses his book as a partition, blocking your ability to procrastinate and just visually drool all over him.

Silence fills the next 20 minutes. Even though Jack is out of your sight, details from your observations exaggerate themselves in your mind to the point that they’re all encompassing, intoxicating. The way his jeans wrap around his legs ever so perfectly, the worn denim hugging those muscular thighs that he loves for you to grind yourself against when you’re feeling especially desperate (like now). How his plaid flannel slopes over the swell of his belly, stretching tight against his skin as his diaphragm contracts and deflating when he exhales. Even his large feet, strewn about lazily on the couch, his toes pointing in different directions, amuse you. 

Ten minutes remain in your study session. Feeling guilty about spending the majority of the last hour envisioning the seductive intricacies of your boyfriend, you actually start to study. 

“How many times do you think I can make you cum in ten minutes?”

Your eyes are ripped from your material and land on the menace lazing on the couch. He’s put his book down, one arm behind his head while the other is crooked, allowing himself to palm his cock through his pants. Jack’s wearing a shit-eating grin, bewitching your crossed legs to switch which one is on top; an excuse to apply more pressure to the yearning area between them. You fidget in the chair, shamefully trying to get the seam of your underwear to rub against you in just the right way. You shrug, “I-I’m not sure.”

He gets up and comes over to you, standing behind you and leaning forward to rest his chin on your shoulder. He murmurs in your ear, “I think we should find out during your next break.”

You turn to face him, “I think so too.”

He gives you a quick kiss, “Well, you better be a good girl and study for these last few minutes. Earn that break.” He places his large hands on either side of your head and turns it toward your materials, making you both laugh.

Somehow, you’re able to pay attention. Jack’s impending promise of ravaging you for ten minutes straight quells your jittering nerves and gives you something specific to look forward to. Before you know it, your alarm is beeping, alerting you that your break has commenced. Jack cages you by reaching forward and grabs the clock, programs it to ten minutes and keeps it in his hand. He grips the sides of your swivel chair, pulls it back from the table and spins you around to face him, the speed of the turn making your hair swoosh across your shoulders. Through mutual giggles, Jack lifts you up, winding your legs around his waist, your arms doing the same around his neck. “I want you to count for me how many times you cum.”

Breathlessly, you simply obey, “Okay.”

He practically runs to the bedroom. He sets the clock on the nightstand and turns the face towards the mattress so you don’t lose out on studying time. Tossing you onto the bed, your giggling continues as you bounce from the force. Jack hooks his fingers in your underwear and yanks them down, pulling them out from under your skirt and over your shoes. The way he wastes no time ridding you of any other garment makes blood and heat flood your center and air rush out of your lungs. He pushes your lost air back into your mouth with a kiss and then immediately retreats back to in between your legs.

He flicks the fabric of your skirt up onto your belly, letting himself have complete, unobstructed access to his early lunch. His fingers fondle your folds while his lips place sloppy kisses along the inside of your thighs. After he’s had his fill of that step, he sits back and stares at you: spread out for him, more than willing to take anything he wants to give to you. He blows out a whistle, eyeing your core, and you say, “Hey, you’re on the clock, cowboy. No time for dramatics.”

He nods, a smirk pulling at one side of his mouth, “You’re right, sweetheart.”

He spits onto your cunt, forgoing his usual gentle licks to adequately wet your pussy. A quiet fuck escapes your mouth as he plunges his tongue into you. Your fingers wind themselves in his chocolatey locks and pull, extracting an excited moan from your lover. His fingers knead the soft flesh on the backs of your thighs as he eats and when his mustache starts to tickle your clit, you’re done for. Your grip on his hair becomes vice-like and your whole body seizes up, constricted by enrapturing pleasure. You strangle out, “One.”

Jack unlatches his mouth only once he’s certain your first orgasm is complete. He stands, admires your wrecked expression, takes his cock out, spits into his hand and pumps his dick a few times. Hands slithering around your waist, he flips you onto your stomach and pulls your ass up, positioning you on your hands and knees. You’re a little bit dizzied by his manhandling in combination with his expert tongue, but this type of vertigo is the most enjoyable you’ve ever experienced. 

When he pushes into you, it’s a bit of a stretch because he hadn’t warmed you up with his fingers. He relaxes you by leaning forward, pressing his chest against your back and peppering soft kisses to your shoulder blades. The clink of his belt comically punctuates his thrusts, but your laughs are swallowed by intoxicated groans. You don’t know, and you don’t really care to figure out, how he already has you teetering on the edge of cumming again. Heightened senses tell you that you’re close; the fabric of his shirt feels unearthly soft as it brushes against patches of exposed skin, his fingertips are delightful lead in their clamp on you, his grunts and pants angelically reverberate in your skull. And then, suddenly and all at once, “Two.”

Jack’s pride shows itself in a smirk while he flips you onto your back. He makes a show of hooking your calves over his shoulders, eliciting laughter from the both of you. Resting almost all of his weight on top of you, your knees find your chest and his hands find your hair. The intimacy of it all is almost too much; his thumbs stroke your temples, palms cradle your head, those goddamned puppy-dog eyes bore into you. You turn your head in his grasp to check your timing: five minutes left. 

Jack’s tongue darts out to lick the pads of his fingers before he snakes it down in between the two of you to rub your clit. Your moans come out uncontrollably, your eyelids stutter and he eggs you on, “That’s it, sweetheart. Give me another one.”

Hearty moans are reduced to desperate gasps and you’re unable to verbally acknowledge the third orgasm that rips through you. Nonetheless, Jack can tell from the way your eyes roll into the back of your head and his name tumbles ferociously out of your mouth that you’re cumming. “’Atta girl.”

Jack takes his cock out of you and the whine that escapes your lips embarrasses you. He can’t help but laugh at your whimpering before he scoots down the bed and starts to eat you out again, framing his head with your quaking thighs. You find the strength to check the time, “Jack, there’s only a minute and a half left.”

He moans deeply into you, unaffected by your comment, and eases three fingers into your fluttering center. Like earlier, your hands fly to his hair like a magnet and find purchase so tight it makes your knuckles go pale. In a matter of seconds, circling your clit with his sopping tongue and tapping your g-spot with his deft fingers, Jack has you cumming yet again. This time you yell out the count, “Four!”

The sounds his ministrations make are lewd and exhilarating, pushing himself to his own precipice. You look down your body to find Jack’s other hand jerking his cock and his seed spilling out of him moments later. He groans into your pussy while you pet his hair, praising him for his efforts. 

Simultaneously, you both remember that you’re being timed. Your eyes meet the clock at the same time: 30 seconds. Jack springs from the bed and pulls you up with him, grabbing your discarded panties. He squats and taps your ankles so you lift your legs up, sliding each leg hole over your body and pulling your underwear up underneath your skirt. 

You fumble with his mussed clothes, stuffing his still-hard cock into his boxers, hiking his jeans up over his ass and zip and button them closed. You snake his belt around his waist and let his fingers do the work of buckling it before he picks you up bridal style and ushers you out of the bedroom, grabbing the clock off of the nightstand on your way out. 

Unhinged cackles follow you two down the hallway as you return to the living room. He plops you down in your chair, straightens you out, gives you a kiss on the cheek and then your alarm goes off. You raise your eyebrows at him, “Jeez, you didn’t waste a second.” 

He hums, then mumbles, “You get back to work now, babygirl,” and leaves you with a yearning kiss on the part of your hair.

Both of you return to your respective readings, hopelessly trying to downgrade your panting gasps to normal breaths. The absence of Jack’s warmth is already painful. But you rationalize that the indulgence of the last ten minutes is more than enough to get you through this next hour of studying, if not for longer.

Little do you know that Jack feels the same pain. His ache for your touch, sexual or not, will overtake him later and he’ll be unable to resist the temptation of coming over and distracting you again. Determined to finish your studying, you’ll propose a compromise: you can sit in his lap while he is lulled to sleep by the ambience of the afternoon rain and the enveloping comfort of you. The two of you can try to beat the record of four orgasms next semester. 

💘taglist: @pascalpanic​, @mellowswriting​

[kara-knuckles]

Some friendship headcanons about Anastasia and members of my Chaldea

After I got Anastasia from the five star ticket, I have been thinking about her potential relationships in my Chaldea. These are based on IRL Grand Duchess, her portrayal in FGO, as well as the novel Viy.

Georgios

Georgios is among the first people Anastasia warms up to. He is considered to be Moscow's protector (and, even after the capital was moved to St. Petersburg, its coat of arms was still used in a lot of official settings), and he may or may not have been syncretized with earlier Slavic heroes/gods, which made him one of the most popular Christian figures among Russian people. Anastasia would be vary of him at first, because he is also heavily associated with the military, however, things would change quickly once she learns about his passion for photography. In real life, Anastasia was a creative person with a bunch of interests, and famously photography was among them. I can totally see them going on photo hunts together, and, once Anastasia starts showing her more fun-loving side, I'm sure she will start utilizing her Schwipsig ability to create chaos, while Georgios will be ready to take the perfect shots of everyone involved. Don't stay between photographers and their prey visuals, kids!

Once these two get close, Anastasia will start thinking about giving him some kind of present to show her appreciation, and she'll decide that giving him something that depicts him will be funny. It is worth noting that the most prestigious medal in her time was named after him, however, due to her distaste for soldiers, she would consider it a poor gift. Instead, she will give him an old kopeyka coin, because he actually indirectly named it. When it first appeared, it was depicting a person with a spear (kop'yo), though the figure was supposed to be more symbolic and only officially became St. George a hundred years later. I think, the coin from Peter the Great's reign would be the most fitting: that was when the monetary reform acknowledging St. George happened, and he was also the first Russian emperor and the founder of St. Petersburg (duh), so he is an important figure in Anastasia's family history.

There is also a neat detail that, while Anastasia in FGO is associated with winter, and one of the possible inspirations for Viy is specifically associated with the 29th of February, Georgios is associated with spring, since his feast day is celebrated around Easter. So, he feels like a perfect person to bring out Nastya's warmer side.

Overall, I think he sees her as some kind of a daughter figure, while to Anastasia he is her grandpa-in-crime, ready to help in both life and mischief.

The Unofficial Death Club (that has some cutesy official name to avoid triggering Scheherazade), consisting of Nitocris, Ereshkigal and Gray

This one kinda ended up as a backstory to my other headcanon that, after being summoned, Gray became friends with Nitocris and Ereshkigal.

According to her Interlude, Anastasia was summoned some time before the Lostbelt arc, so she probably befriended Nitocris back then. They are both royals associated with death, and their families were screwed by political machinations, so they have a bunch of stuff to unpack, while Viy establishes rivalry with Nito's Medjeds (as shown on the screenshot above).

If we broadly follow the timeline, then Ereshkigal's event happened right before Chaldea was supposed to disband, so she was probably only summoned after Novum Chaldea was established, which makes it around the same time as Gray. Ereshkigal is another figure associated with death, and Nitocris probably heard from Waver about Gray, so it makes sense that Nitocris would be curious about them. The problem is, they are all introverts, so it is actually Anastasia who took everything in her hands and brought them all together.

I don't have Eresh, so I'm not confident about writing her, but Gray is another death girl with magical companion, plus her Arcade quote established that she took some basic drawing lessons (and Anastasia was fond of drawing in life), so there is some ground for the girls to bond. And, as my farming showed, they simply look nice next to each other.

Also, while the "official members" of the "club" are Nitocris, Ereshkigal and Gray, other death related Servants, like the First Hassan and Shiki, are welcomed here. And Anastasia may or may not have tried to persuade them to join.

Doctors

Anastasia's mother and two oldest sisters became nurses during the first World War, and worked with patients until the family was arrested in 1917. Anastasia and her other sister were too young for such hard work, but they were frequently visiting the hospital and liked entertaining the patients. Anastasia was very fond of these visits; in FGO, she references this by asking if she can call the MC her patient.

Anastasia holds all Chaldean doctors in high regard, because she saw first hand how hard yet important their job is, and sometimes visits them while they work. Her feelings towards Sanson are rather mixed, him being an executioner and all. However, the crazy Nightingale is right up her valley! As a figure of winter herself, Nastya was very pleased that she eventually became a Santa. Asclepius isn't very fond of her visits, but he comes to acknowledge that keeping patients in high spirits is also a form of treatment.

Beni-Enma

This one is less about Anastasia and more about Viy. Enma-tei welcomes all sorts of supernatural beings, including Elementals, so it's not that weird that Viy might have visited it at some point (and recommended it to Anastasia, hence her presence in the Sparrow Inn event). It is also interesting that, while their stories are very different, both Beni-Enma's backstory and the novel Viy feature dead girls, supernatural beings and haunted buildings.

Anastasia is curious about, yet a bit vary of Beni-Enma. Beni can detect lies, which is unfortunate for a prankster like Anastasia, however, that only promts her to learn to be more creative with her truths. Beni-Enma, in turn, calls for her help whenever she has monkey problems, because Anastasia kinda established herself as their boss during her stay in the inn.

[baepsaesbae]

Do You Love Me, Baby?

Pairing— Any member x female reader    

Genre— SMUT, established relationship, BTS’ pov, a hint of fluff if you squint and close one eye

Warnings— Dom!BTS, sub!reader, face fucking, oral sex (m and f), mild bondage, explicit rough unprotected sex please stay safe irl, choking

Word Count— ~2.8k  

Summary— A member of your choosing can’t wait to reunite with you again after being separated for so long.

A/N— This is different from what I normally post. This fic is in FIRST PERSON from the pov of a member of your choosing. Honestly, it doesn’t even have to be a BTS member, it can be anyone you want (but bc this is a BTS writing blog, that’s how I’m describing it for simplicity’s sake). Please let me know what you think! Much love guys~

It has been three months. Three excruciating months of torment.

 In three months, I have not smelled or tasted an ounce of sweet heaven-sent pussy. Nevertheless, here I am. My girlfriend dropped me off at the airport 3 months ago and each day since has been filled with daydreams of making her irresponsibly scream and moan into my ear. A revolution has taken place in my mind. I have come to the realization that this pussy is the one that will take me to the end game. Little by little I scratch and claw back to my sanity. Lick by lick, thrust by thrust, my dreams show me how much I yearn for my baby’s pussy. Until one day I had enough, and I would take no more. I finally cleared my schedule to spend time with my babygirl. I only had one objective: fucking my girlfriend senseless. The time was nearing.

See, the fun part of my relationship is that we both share the same goal. We want to pleasure each other in any way possible. This allows for more opportunities in a lot of situations. A party where everyone is outside? Easy quickie in the restroom. A family party in the house? Easy quickie in the restroom. A hotel room with insulated walls? Easy repeated thrusts into the dome of her clit while my dick rims the outside of her pussy. Regardless, I am having rough sex with my bratty babygirl.

Would you look at that, I just checked into a hotel room with insulated walls nothing but about five minutes away from her house. I had no other plans.

“Hey baby, I’m here,” I texted.

“Ohh?” she texted back.

“I can come pick you up,” I offered.

“No! I’ll just meet you there” she refuted.

My baby wanted to make sure she was ready; she knew what she was getting herself into.

“Give me 10 minutes,” she followed up

I took those ten minutes to do push-ups and sit-ups to make sure my body was in pristine shape for her. Then the time finally came.

“Baby !! I’m here!” she messaged.

I rushed to the elevator pressing the button as fast as could. I was tapping my foot as the elevator slowly sunk its way down to the bottom floor. She was sitting outside of the back entrance of the hotel waiting for me to open the door. I met her with the biggest hug followed by a sincere kiss on her soft lips. That initial kiss sent me into a remedial state of recollecting all those nights we shared. Never in my life did I think I would be so in love, yet I stood there, shocked.

“Baby… do you want to go back to your room?” she brought me back to reality.

“Let’s go,” I responded, taking her hand in mine.

Both of us were wound up, ready to release our hormonal excitement onto each other, but we both acted like nothing was any different. As if we’ve been seeing each other every day.

“How have you been?” I asked.

“I’ve been good, you?” she answered quickly.

“Oh, you know just chillin,” I shrugged nonchalantly.

“Ah...” her voice trailed off.

I was standing there edging and riding the thin line of sanity looking at the hottest woman on earth positioning herself next to me. The only thing holding us back was this elevator, until I became aware of that. I rushed to meet her next word with my lips and pinned her against the elevator wall. I quickly checked to see if there was a camera in the elevator, but to our luck there was not. I began running one of my hands through her hair, while the other got a firm grip onto one of her big bountiful butt cheeks. We had a long way to go up to the fiftieth floor, and I wanted to use every ounce of time I had. My hand slowly rode down breaking into her slit, she looked at me deep into my eyes and nodded to keep going. I placed my left index finger onto her clit and began rubbing. She kept removing her lips from mine to brace for the impact on each pass-over.

“Baby, let’s go to the room,” she said impatiently as we got to my floor.

We sped out of the elevator, jogging our minds to figure out whether to go left or right. Time was of essence, every second we wasted was a second in which I was not inside of her. Even through our horny daze we chose the correct direction. I found myself at my door swiping with haste, only to find patience as my true virtue. After the fifth time and finally slowing down the door unlocked.

The immediate second the door slammed shut I proceeded to slam her against that same door and put my hand down her pants again. Slowly rubbing against her clit, I made her jolt in a random direction with each circle. She pushed me off.

“Get onto the bed,” she winked.

She walked into the bathroom while I laid myself onto the bed ready to be led astray. She walked out wearing nothing but a lacy lingerie set she had been saving for me. She slowly toppled me with a daring intent in her eyes. I brought both of my hands to land firmly on the cheeks behind her body. She moaned with excitement.

“Come here,” I growled as I wrapped my arms around her back and brought her lips closer to mine.

I missed her. I missed her soft voice comforting me when I felt the loneliest. I missed her wet pussy wrapped around my cock. But how could I miss her when she was right here on top of me? I dug my face into her chest giving attention to each nipple. She let out small yelps when I licked them the right way, and I continued to do so over and over. I moved my hands lower and lower until I reached her slit once again. I ran my right hand under her lingerie to dig into her wet pussy, reminding me of how much she wanted me. This only invigorated me to seize the moment and take action. I grabbed her by the waist and used my strength to pull myself up and over placing myself on top.

“Did you miss me baby?” I questioned.

“Yes, of course,” she mewled.

I began to place my lips on her neck as she responded. I kissed every inch until I started to slowly run my tongue across the side of her neck.

“Is this what you’ve been waiting for?”  I playfully bit her ear and whispered.

I gradually kissed my way down to her breasts to bring attention to them again. I love playing with her breasts. She sometimes gets self conscious of them, but they bring me joy, especially when they’re right in front of my face. All the while, I’m bringing my right hand down in between her legs to scout ahead. I feel a waterfall pour onto my finger and realize my descent was about to begin. Inch by inch my lips walk downwards to find themselves in between her legs and I halt.

“Look at me,” I demanded.

She never liked looking at me when I went down on her, but I wanted her to. As of lately I would wait for her to make eye contact with me to begin putting my tongue on her juicy slit. She had no other choice, if she wanted to go forward, she had to obey. I slid the lingerie over enough to expose her to me. She looked me in the eyes and I ran my tongue up her lips. I would stop each time she would look away, forcing her to heed to my wishes. I landed my tongue onto her clit and repeatedly flicked my way into hearing her whimper in enjoyment. The cards were dealt, there was nothing she could do. She was playing into my hand, and that’s how it would be. I quickly began rubbing my left index finger against her lips while I ate her clit out. Soon I inserted my finger rubbing against her top wall causing her moan. I dug further and curved my finger upwards to push against the reverse side of her clit causing her to escalate her moans. She became wet enough to allow me to insert my middle finger and continue to press up against her clit.

They say three is the magic number, and three fingers is all my baby needs. Once my fingers were drenched in her juice I slammed three of my fingers into her with the intention of finishing her off. I began to thrust my hand upwards and outwards to hone in on her g-spot while I slid my tongue directly on her clit with aggression.

“Go faster,” she fit in between her breaths.

I jammed my fingers faster and faster pushing her to her limits while she screamed and yelled, “Keep going baby!”

Over and over.

“Fuck!”

Over and over, faster and faster.

“Fuck baby, don’t stop!”

Each motion pushed more of the consequences onto the bed sheets, but nothing was going to stop me from finishing her. I slid my tongue up and down her clit while I struck her g-spot with rhythmic precision gradually increasing the speed. Increasing the severity of the moans, increasing the decibels in the room, increasing the intensity of her orgasm until she came crashing down all over my hand. She was shaking.

She had not had enough, she craved more. She wanted more of me, she wanted all of me inside of her.

“Baby, I want you to fuck me.”

I have been waiting for this. I ripped my pants off and began stroking my hard-throbbing cock against her clit.

“Why are you teasing me,” she said in a bratty tone.

“Beg,” I said. “Beg.”

“Hmph,” she whimpered.

“Beg,” I held my ground.

“Baaaaby,” she panted in a bratty tone once again.

“Beg for me baby,” I instructed softly while still teasing her entrance.

“Fuck me baby, I want all of you inside of me, please!”

I put the tip right on her opening and looked my baby in the eyes. I slowly add weight into the stroke and place the head of my cock inside of her trembling pussy arriving at the feeling of bliss and serenity. The moment that I have been waiting for. The soft plush alluring walls that tempt and mock me. I push forward and her inner walls and my cock meet as if two old friends catch up on forgotten memories. Forward and inward, my room receives a welcoming moan from me. I take this time to lean in.

“I love you baby.”

She was too caught up in my soft deep strokes to respond. I pushed her legs as far outwards as her flexibility would allow and gained grip on my feet like dropping an anchor. I proceeded to pound my dick downwards producing sloppy wet noises from her pussy.

“Do you love me?”

She was too preoccupied with trying to think straight to be able to respond. So, I took a hand off one of her legs and started rubbing my thumb on her clit as a punishment.

“Baby, do you love me?”

Still no response. Only whimpers.

I removed the other hand from her leg and gently placed it around her throat.  I continued to synchronize my thrusts with the motion of my thumb. I got close to her face.

“Baby, do you love me?” I repeated.

I was not going to give her a chance to respond until I felt like she deserved it. Each thrust prevented her from answering my question. I used this opportunity to punish her again. I slowly removed my cock from her while pushing her arms into the bed and bringing my body forward onto her.

“Let me give you a reason not to speak.”

I brought my cock up to her lips and she opened her mouth like the good girl that she was. I pushed myself down her throat. She couldn’t take all of me. Yet, I pushed myself further and further through her wet mouth still asking the question.

“Do you love me, baby?”

Knowing well that she could not respond, I still wanted to punish her. I reached over to my drawer and grabbed a red ribbon. I flipped my baby over and tied her hands behind her back. I then took my cock and eased in from behind her. This was her favorite position and she was about to be reminded why. I railed her with furious strokes causing a mess to spew all over the bed, but nothing was going to stop me.

“Fuck baby fuck,” she yelled.

I kept pivoting my dick further down into her wall causing both parties to get dangerously drenched. She screamed and yelled louder and for more to hear.

“Oh my fuck, keep going!”

I grabbed her by her tied up hands and pulled her closer. I used my other hand to wrap around her throat and fucked her as hard as I could.

“Baby right there! Don’t stop!”

I was not going to stop.

“Don’t stop! Don’t stop!”

I slammed her head back down onto the bed and used my arms to push her shoulders deep into the mattress. Each pulverization sent a shockwave through her ass cheeks, ricocheting back to me only to meet the next crushing blow. Incomprehensible sounds came muffled from her mouth as it was dug into the sheets. More and more liquid came splashing out onto the bed. More and more screams would grace my ear like soothing music. Our moans were our duet, and this bed was our stage. We had been putting on a spectacular piece, but she was the star of the show. I laid every inch of myself into her at a decelerating pace. Her whole body began quivering on my cock as she released herself all over me. She became numb as I slowly eased her off her orgasm and fell flat onto the bed. With whatever strength she had left.

“Your turn. Lay down baby,” she commanded.

I did what she asked but she was still tied. From under her, I grabbed her by the ponytail I made with my hands and slowly pushed her head down onto my dick. Up and down, up and down, as she gagged and choked on me.

“Baby, can I cum in your mouth?” I pleaded.

“Mhm” she mumbled with me inside of her throat.

I relentlessly push her deep down on my cock with rapid succession forcing her saliva to spread over every inch. I wanted something that I still hadn’t gotten. I pulled her head off my cock.

“Do you love me baby?” I asked one last time.

“I love you, darling” she said while trying to catch her breath.

I then threw her head back onto my tip and unrelentingly thrust my cock into her mouth until I came down her wet throat. I pulled her hair back to make her look at me while she swallowed my seed. I took my hand off her head, but she continued to stroke my dick with her lips and ran her tongue around my head trying to tease me. When she was done I got up, untied her, and pulled her close to give her a big kiss.

       She is the love of my life, she makes me happy, and she loves me to death. She laid her head on my chest and I began to stroke her hair. We started to share our adventures from the past three months filled with laughter and smiles from ear to ear. I couldn’t help myself but to think “I’m going to marry this woman one day.”

Published February 26th, 2021. No editing, copying, translating, or reposting allowed. All Rights Reserved © 2021 Baepsaesbae.

[papirfecni]

Hello Azra!

I hope you're having a great day 😀.

Look, i don't mean no harm nor want to be hateful to you or anything you do..(but i might actually be), what i'm about to say might be mean and it's probably gonna look like a hate comment or something 😅 but i assure you, i have nothing against you 🙂.

I'm getting this out of my chest bcs i want to, and since you don't reply to your DMs or anything else i thought my last chance is to tell you anonymously..here ...tbh, bcs humans are weird 😒 .

So i was one of your followers/fans and i really liked your work, you were funny and you were entertaining in every way..you might still be (i dunno tho') i even liked your taste in music and i thought it matches mine in a weird way.. i, like any other fan thought highly of you and did anything to be noticed by you 😂 which sounds silly now that i say it.. but it's something that we all do and i'm sure you have done this yourself 😉.

I tried my best to cut you some slack bcs you are famous and i don't know your circumstances or anything about you... but at some point you had me and gave me some of your time and i thought to myself .. 'why did she? i am just as any other excited fan who did everything to be noticed.. why give 𝓂𝑒 the time?'

Don't get me wrong, i knew you were just being nice 😆... but i thought to myself 'does she do that with everyone then? voice chat, play games, share informations...? which is odd.. bcs isn't she scared of creeps and weirdo who maybe have bad intentions...'

I'm a humble one but just like a normal person i got greedy and i felt like we might be friends lol 🤣 i even start talking to some of your close friends and i wished to be as cool just to be friendly with you all (not just you...no offence) bcs for some reasons i found a lot in common between me and you all, but i was too normal and too boring for you maybe a little too nice too 🙃.

The point is, after that you started ghosting me after telling me that we would do it again (play and stuff).. you never reply.. you don't see my comments nor msgs... i know i wasn't special but i really wanted to play more and have fun while i still could at that time 😅.

I just wished you never gave me a chance to look forward to an awsome friendship with such great and fun people like yourselves...

Once again, don't get me wrong.. clearly i have issues 🙃 and if i don't adress them the proper way then they will come and bite me in the butt 😆.

What i'm trying to say here is .. as much as i liked your spirit, your humour but more importantly your 𝒜𝑅𝒯 ofc, now i don't even want to see nothing that has anything to do with you... even your name makes me cringe (the fact that my mother has the same name isn't helping -.-') and i hate that bcs i missed how despite being so invisible back then .. i enjoyed everything you did..

I wish i never made that piece of art that made you follow me which made me feel so guilty for not following you back which is the one thing that led to another until it became no fun no more...

I missed your art and it feels bad now to interact with it after you belittled me and basically made me feel like sh*t (sorry..) when you ghosted and rejected all my requests..

I wish you read this and i wish you don't hate me for being ..umm weird and mentaly disturbed obviously 😅lol despite being anonymous i feel so seen..

you are a great artist and a .. well uuh a funny person? lol (that's all i could think about 🤣) i was a fool to think that you thought of me differently and for being greedy to have more fun time with you and your friends.. so umm i hope you take my honesty as .. umm a point that needed to be ..umm adressed and not as a hate comment or ..umm a speech at this point 😬 hehe

Just a word of advice.. don't say things that you don't mean to fans no more 🤣 they will be excited and they will feel special and it will be disastrous if you don't meet their expectations haha.

Despite feeling guilty for being too honest ..maybe to the mean point, i am 𝑔𝓁𝒶𝒹 that i got that out of my chest, i am trying my best to talk about this silly subject as civilized as possible so you don't get me wrong 🤠.

Good luck with whatever you're doing in your life and i wish you all the best 😺.

P.S: drink more water instead... it's very important to stay hydrated 💧 ✌️

i wasnt gonna respond to this originally but youre getting people i dont even know involved in this fsr so.

sending me shit anonymously expressing why youre mad at me is one thing but going around and telling random people in their fucking CCs about it (and naming me too) like its a warcrime not to respond to your dms personally is really fucking weird. im an average ass person with a hobby who uploads their work online, i’m not a fucking celebrity or “famous” for this or any other reason, i sure as fuck dont have any fans and i genuinely dont understand your obsession with that concept??? why am i the one getting blamed for making you feel special for simply talking to you and being friendly when youre the one acting like i have paparazzi following me around lmao i have classes to attend and study for, i have friends irl and family that i spend time with, i have a tiny group of online close friends i talk to regularly, i eat and sleep - a day is 24 hours for me too lmao. on top of that im generally bad at responding to dms as im very introverted with a terrible memory; it’s never anything personal, i’m simply busy or just forget to text back which my friends are aware of and have no problem with. i seriously had nothing against you, you’re very sweet and talented but you don’t know me, we hung out once for an hour as friends and that was it, i’m confused as to how me not responding was such a traumatic event for you when it’s a normal thing that happens with everyone especially if you’re not close friends. if youre trying to befriend someone you should behave like it and not like youre chasing someone unreachable lol. anyway im glad you got free therapy out of this i really loved the random cursive letters you added for dramatic effect as well as the subtle drags 10/10

[awsugar]

lol I feel you about dating apps. I have really really horrible anxiety about putting pictures of myself online (I literally only post selfies on my priv Instagram and only let close friends follow it) I’ve had this anxiety ever since I was 16 and im 24 now and still have it so I doubt it’s going away (and frankly in our current era of stealing ppls photos and deepfakes and shit I don’t even think it’s that paranoid tbh) so it’s basically impossible for me to use dating apps but it’s so hard to meet people once you’re out of college that I feel like I will have to use them one day unfortunately :/ but I mean, there’s literally a tinder subreddit where people post people’s profiles, that’s so anxiety inducing and people don’t even consent to be posted on there……idk it’s such a nightmare especially for me but I don’t see an alternative. I wish we lived in a world where irl interaction was more encouraged but unfortunately I see things going even more online post-covid

ahh ok see i dont really have any issue with putting pics of myself online but i do have anxiety about the pics of yourself part of it bc literally every photo of me from the past however many years is just a selfie i took in my bed. i literally cant start using a dating app until i have pics of me that dont have my rolling stones and fob posters behind me lmao. i understand your fear though, especially having your profile reposted somewhere and made fun of like. that would be sooooo horrible and life ruining to me. i dont think anyone wants to make deepfakes of me but i guess its a possibility.

it really is SO hard to meet people unless you already have friends who introduce you to people though. i had a falling out with my two irl best friends in early 2019 and them plus their family members/friends were the only people i hung out with so when we werent friends anymore i literally had no one, and no one to introduce me to new people obviously.

i feel like a lot of people meet partners and friends at work, i mean one of my exes i met because he was my manager. but ive been back to work since june and i talk to people at work and im friendly but i havent met anyone yet who is around my age and wants to hang out or anything. i think everyone thinks im a fucking weirdo lmao.

but i agree with you, i totally hate that we have to use apps to meet people not or we're screwed. im like that asap yams tweet. my swag cant truly blossom on imessage. i feel like it works way better when you're forced to be around someone cause you work together or go to school together and then you like become friends and then start flriting and develop a relationship naturally. it feels so awkward to me to like start messaging someone, KNOWING that the intent is to make them like me. idk. just not my preferred method. and you're right about covid pushing it further in that direction. ugh i hate it :(

[ectonurites]

so..... streamer tim au...... my eyes and ears are wide open......

okay so prefacing this with the fact that i have never actually watched any streamers the closest thing was my irl friend who TRIED to be a streamer and failed miserably and one time me and my roommate and my boyfriend watched his stream and interacted with him not revealing it was us to both support and vaguely mock him (hes kinda a dick. more of an acquaintance from dnd stuff than a friend) BUT:

tim playing every superhero related game (i KNOW the Death of Superman videogame that exists irl is also real in canon because Kon mentions it several times) + him also playing that freakazoid game he played during YJ #53

Like I think in general he’d probably stream a lot more older games, any game that has a skateboarding function, and then also like Minecraft because it’s a classic. 

actually kinda unrelated but in my high school this one guy did a project our senior year where he made a to-scale recreation of our entire town in Minecraft using actual satellite data (this kid had also been our class president but did JACK SHIT WHEN HE WAS CLASS PRESIDENT. BUT HE COULD MAKE OUR WHOLE TOWN IN MINECRAFT) and I’m amused by imagining Tim trying to do something like that with parts of Gotham

i think for the most part he would stream stuff alone and due to the fact that like, if I’m placing this around the time he’s at Brentwood (again I’m kinda using the ‘its harder for him to go out as Robin as frequently since. Boarding School, thus he has a bit more time to fuck around and play video games’ idea) and it’s shortly after No Man’s Land, people like, are recognizing who Timothy Drake is by his face bc he was on the news for being missing so he’d be able to actually get a pretty decent following pretty quickly. Possibly Ives would hop on sometimes too though bc he’s also a huge nerd.

Then, if I am placing this as starting in the Brentwood era, The YJ kids (and also Steph!) don’t actually know Tim is Robin yet. Which is hilarious to imagine, like, them watching him stream games or some shit for a while and then once they connect the dots being like WAIT. MOTHERFUCKER. THAT WAS YOU?? Once they know though they spam the shit out of his chat and make his life hell but in an endearing way

Bruce is also not amused because this puts a higher profile on Tim which could jeopardize their identities however he knows Tim’s under a lot of stress all the time always and this seems to be something fun he enjoys doing so he doesn’t say anything. He watches his streams sometimes in the cave as background noise while doing other stuff.

I think Tim’d probably end up stopping doing any of it around when War Games happened if not a bit earlier, because just… The energy is gone. He can’t pretend to be okay on stream for all that and just loses the drive to do any of it, and especially considering the next several years just get worse and worse for him, it was probably a good time to call it quits.

which then

Years later, like, after Red Robin & stuff, I love the idea of Damian stumbling on all of it by accident when trying to dig up embarrassing shit on Tim and actually really ending up liking watching him play? kinda… humanizing Tim more for him I guess. Because Damian in pre-new 52 times really sees Tim as a rival and a jerk, but seeing him actually be a goofy kid doing something like that… could be cool. Give a bit different of a perspective. Also Damian being competitive and wanting to test his skills against Tim in a game leading to:

Damian casually dropping hints around Tim that he also likes video games (cheese viking cheese viking) and Tim honestly hadn’t even thought about his streaming and video game stuff in years because god life got hectic, and they end up going to an arcade together to have some brotherly fighting in games and it’s actually very fun 

and can kinda… become their thing. They still fight all the time, they’re still not particularly close because there’s so much baggage to unpack there, BUT them having video games together as kind of a common ground and also it lets them beat the shit out of each other in a way without physical harm since its just in a game 

anyways thank u for coming to my TED talk

[generallybarzy]

hey there, stranger. v

one, two, three, four

an: originally, I was going to end the story after part iv. That was as far as I had planned it and it felt like the perfect end, but everyone loved it so much (thank you all for your feedback, especially @fallinallincurls ily 🥺) and expressed their need to see where mat and mc go in their relationship, so back by popular demand is “hey there, stranger”! I’m sorry if things aren’t as fluffy as usual, but i promise i’ll only break your hearts a bit. I was in a mood when planning, and I have some tough things coming ahead. I'm trying to make this as realistic as possible, so I'm also basing it on irl experiences I've had and I'm digging a little deeper into mc's backstory. This is definitely going to turn into a little bit more than the comfort fluffy fic I originally planned it to be. Its gonna be a lot more complex than that. As always, feedback and commentary is appreciated!!! I don't have a Thanksgiving themed blurb written like I wanted to, so hopefully this'll hold you over until Smile Like Sunshine comes out 😌

word count: 3k

the playlist :)

Two months. 

You blinked. 

It had been two months since Rebecca Seidenberg set you up with her husband’s young teammate. It had been two months since you sat in that coffee shop in the cool mid-September and watched with stars in your eyes as Mat first approached your table as a stranger. It had been two months since you started texting each other nonstop, with the occasional date between his games and practices and your class and work. How had two months passed already? How had things gone so fast? Ended up here? Why does this already feel so intense? Why does it scare you so much?

Your eyes opened.��

You could feel the bed dip beside you as Mat rolled over, his nose in your hair, his arm slung around your waist, and you turned to gaze at him in all his beauty. He was still fast asleep, his breaths coming in little puffs of air against your face, his lips turned up at one corner in a tiny, content smile, and his hair looking especially fluffy and soft this morning, falling in delicate waves over his forehead and tickling your skin as the pale morning light shone in his window. It was a look that would have made you smile. 

But not this morning. 

Your heartbeat sped up as you untangled yourself from him as quickly and delicately as you could, needing to feel your own limbs separate from his, needing space, space, more space. You slipped away from his skin, your cheeks red and your head spinning and your heart pounding. You stepped back from the bed, watching his sleeping face as the arm that had been around you found its place around a pillow instead, pulling it closer. After a few seconds to make sure he wouldn't wake up yet, you searched his room frantically for where your clothes had been set the night before, tripping over his own things and cursing him for being so messy, even though it was cute in a boyish, Mat kinda way.

You glanced back at him in bed, his hair haloed out on the pillow, a dark contrast to the soft white duvet and pillow cases, his skin looking warm and kissable. You thought about waking him up for a moment, but you didn’t want that. You didn’t want him to see you leave. You didn’t want him to beg you to stay. 

The kiss was lingering in the air, your bodies warm and flush despite the cold mid-November air, as Mat mumbled against your lips. "Stay the night?" 

"Mat, I-" You had class in the morning, he had practice in the morning, you were too afraid to be that close and that intimate and that vulnerable with anybody ever, let alone this early in a relationship. But how could you voice that?

"I'll set an alarm." His eyes- warm and golden and searching gently- scanned over your face, looking for any sign you weren't okay but missing the obvious one completely. He was always so soft in his questions. So polite, so patient, so oblivious. You couldn't say no to him. 

"Okay." 

A familiar smile tugged his lips up, a boyish, giddy grin that had you smiling as well. He was just too cute. He leaned down to press another kiss, chaste and delicate, against your lips. The feeling was something new, something that would take a while to get used to. He laced his fingers through yours.

"So, our first sleepover, huh?"

You pulled your leggings on as fast as you could and gathered up your belongings, stumbling out his bedroom door quietly, hoping he was still fast asleep in bed and had no idea you ran out this early. Finally taking the time to glance at your phone, you noticed it was 5:48am, still 4 hours until your first class of the day. You had been awake all night, you were sure, and had left the moment you saw the sun peak over the horizon. 

You couldn’t explain exactly why you were leaving so soon, so frantically, but something inside of you was begging you to run. From Mat, from his apartment, from this building. Back to where you were familiar and comfortable and safe. Safe, safe, safe. As much as you hated it, you still couldn’t feel safe in anybody’s arms, not even Mat’s. Not even when you craved so desperately to be loved by him and to love him back. Your heart and body craved his touch, his skin, his warmth, but your brain rejected it. You didn’t feel safe yet. You still couldn’t hold Mat or be held by Mat without thinking of him. 

You glanced around Mat’s apartment as you finally closed his bedroom door behind you, your mind drifting to the night before.

“So,” He laughed nervously and dropped his hand to rub the back of his neck as he opened the door. He was just a bit shy to show you around, his cheeks going pink, despite the ever-present grin that told you just how happy he was to have you here with him. Shyness was cute on him. “So this is my place.”  

The door swung open and he let you step in before him, taking in your new surroundings. Your boyfriend’s place. It wasn’t dirty at all. In fact, it was cleaner than you expected for a young, rich bachelor like him, but it was obvious he hadn’t lived on his own before, and was used to just letting it all out. Not used to having visitors. Any girls he brought home would be too caught up in the fact that he was hot and successful to care if he had some socks on the floor or some dishes in the sink. But under the hint of boyish mess, it was obvious this apartment was expensive. You knew from the second you stepped inside the apartment building that you would never be able to afford a place like this, but seeing it now… all the way from how spacious it was and beautiful the light color scheme was to the pale floorboards to the white marble of the island countertops to the huge windows looking out into the million dollar view of the city. Few people in New York City could afford a view like this. 

“Wow.”

“You think?”

“Are you kidding?” You looked back at him, at the dumb modest smile on his face. “Mat, I will never, ever in my life be able to afford this. And you have this place all by yourself at twenty-two?” He just shrugged, finally shutting the door behind him and taking your bag off your shoulder, setting it on the countertop. “It’s so pretty.”

“I mean, I didn’t decorate it. I flew my mom in to help. That’s all her.” 

It made you smile, the thought of such a big-time NHL player flying his mom across the continent just so she could help him decorate his place. It was always a good sign to see someone with such a healthy family relationship. It was so intimate and beautiful to get to see this side of Mat. This was his home. This was where he fell asleep, woke up, brushed his teeth, ate breakfast, sat on the couch to watch TV. This was his private life. And now you were in on it. 

“It’s not that amazing, anyway. It’s big and expensive, but that’s no fun if I’m all alone.” His eyes caught yours, his fingers found their way back between yours. “How about we… recreate earlier tonight? Maybe watch The Office like you mentioned the other week?”

Your breath caught in the throat, but you squeezed his hand. “We can do that.”

You could kick yourself now, for giving in so easily. You wanted to hug him and kiss him and hold him, but another part of your head was so scared to jump in so fast, that you almost said no. You almost said no, but how could you follow him the whole way to his apartment, kiss him, tease him like that, and then deny him anything else? How could you say no? You cast a glance towards the couch that you had spent so much time on the night before, curled up in Mat’s arms, unbelievably tense and nervous and awkward. There was no way it had been enjoyable for him. It certainly wasn’t for you. 

With your heart aching and needy, you gave one last glance back through his apartment, listening carefully to see if you could hear any soft snores from his bedroom- you couldn’t- before slipping on your shoes and slipping into the hallway, locking the door behind you so that you couldn’t even get back in if you changed your mind.  

You were torn.

Mat arms were curled around your waist, your back was pressed against his chest as you snuggled under the blanket and watched all the shenanigans the characters were going through in The Office. If you could even call this snuggling. You couldn’t help how tense you were and how hard your heart was beating. 

“You comfy?” Mat’s nose pressed to the top of your head, squeezing you lightly. He must have noticed.

“Sorry, just not used to this.”

“Well, you better get used to it.” He laughed a little bit and you smiled too. As nervous as you were, you couldn’t deny how nice it felt to finally have someone to hold again, even if you might end up hurt in the end. “Would you be more comfy if you took your bra off?” 

You almost choked on your own spit. "What?"

"I mean, I'm not gonna make you take it off, and I don't know what it’s like to wear one, but from what I’ve heard, there's no way it’s comfortable to sleep in."

"Well, I don't want my boobs pressed all over you."

"I want that." His cheeks went a little pink and his eyes widened. He shook his head and laughed, brushing off what he just admitted. "No no no that’s not what I meant. Sorry, I just want you to be comfy. I want you to feel at home around me." 

“Hmm, I do feel at home around you.” 

“Good.” His lips found your forehead, an action that was starting to feel more and more natural after your very first kiss earlier that night. You were just beginning to relax some more when the episode finished and Netflix asked you for the third time that night “Are You Still Watching?”. You hand found Mat’s arm and you shifted to roll over and face him, smiling up at his face when your hair tickled his nose. “Hey there, baby.”

“Hey.”

“Think it’s time to go to bed?” 

You couldn’t explain it. You couldn’t explain why you felt this way, You had complained for months about how lonely you were, how dating never went well for you, but the moment you met Mat, you refused to believe it. Mat was amazing. You’d never felt this much, this soon about anyone else in your life. Only once had the feelings gotten so near to this intensity, and you could still remember how painful it turned out. It still haunts you every day, no matter how much you tried to escape it. Mat was so perfect to you, too perfect to you, that there was no way this was real. Nothing is this perfect. Nothing was this easy and flawless and simple. Things didn’t just fall into place like this. Not for you. So as you lay in Mat’s bed that night, his arm around your waist and his breath warm against your head, not even realizing what had slipped from his lips in his half-asleep daze, you realized: this was way moving too fast. Mat was going way too fast, and you weren’t there yet. 

You came to regret your decision to leave so soon before you even made it down to the front door of his apartment building, and a few minutes later you found yourself in the back of a Taxi, gazing wistfully at Mat’s contact number and knowing he was still blissfully asleep, thinking you were still in his arms. 

And as you drove away, Mat was waking up in bed alone, like always, and wondering what he had done wrong. 

---

You moved almost like a zombie through your first classes of the day, luckily you could just go home and read the textbooks and pretty much understand the whole lecture, and the first time you spoke was when you went out for lunch with your roommate and best friend. She found you in the popular campus coffee shop, your forehead down on the table and your hair a mess, your backpack of textbooks tossed haphazardly on the floor beside you. “Woah, girl, rough night?” 

“Fuck.” 

“Can I take a guess and say it has to do with this perfect guy you’ve been seeing?” 

“Ugh, Maggie……”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” She sat down across from you as you finally lifted your head, only to slump back in the booth, still dwelling on the thought of what had happened the night before. “So, tell me what’s up.”

“Well, I’m running on zero sleep right now.” 

“Shit, did you sleep together last night?” 

“No, no! Girl, you know me better than that.” She held up her hands in mock surrender. 

“Hey, he sounds so perfect, I would have sucked his dick by now.” You laughed at her antics, always one to make you smile. “Well, then what happened?”

“We just… I told you we were babysitting together, right? We… walked to his place afterwards and…. We kissed.” She squealed for you across the table, but you continued on. “I stayed at his place all night. We just… cuddled and watched The Office.”

“You’re dead-ass living the dream!! Why do you look so down???” 

“Well, he uhhh…”  Your memory from last night flooded back to you.

You were curled up in his bed, his intoxicating scent surrounding you, his big arms engulfing you, his big Islanders hoodie swallowing you up. You were so overwhelmed by him all around you, but overwhelmed in the best way possible. His arms were around your waist, one of your was slung over his waist while the other stroked his dark hair away from his face. He smiled at you, half-asleep, and hummed in content. “I like when you touch my hair. S’cozy.” 

“I like touching your hair. It’s really soft.”

“Mmmm.” You could see the snow falling against the window, and snuggled further into his arms. For the first time since you started cuddling, you felt truly safe and warm and cared for. Like he was the first man to ever care about you like this. His hand was big and warm on the small of your back, pulling you into him so gently, so easily, but for once you weren’t afraid of the contact. Like all the hesitation you had, all the walls you had built up had crumbled down for him. You were both drifting off to sleep when a tiny mumble filled your ears, barely comprehensible as it tumbled from the dreaming man’s lips. 

“I love you...”

“Oh shit, (Y/N).”

“I know it’s bad.” You felt guilty, thinking back now, but Maggie knew your history, so hopefully she’d understand. “I feel shitty about it, but I panicked. I didn’t get any sleep. And ran off this morning and I haven’t answered any texts from him since then.” 

“Okay, that’s okay. You don’t need to be sorry for being uncomfortable when your boundaries are overstepped. But you gotta communicate those boundaries with him. And what he said, that’s a big deal, okay? Especially this early. So I get why you feel it's going too fast. It’s definitely something you definitely have to talk about. I get why you freaked out, but ignoring him isn’t going to make it better. He sounds like a genuine guy who means good but is just… a little too much for you. You just gotta talk it out.” 

You opened your phone to the messages he sent over the last few hours since you left, and only felt worse and worse.

maty: “where’d you go??”

maty: “what’s wrong??”

maty: “ohhh you probably have class?”

maty: “you should’ve woken me up, I would have taken you, i had to get up for practice anyway”

maty: "i don't like waking up alone."

maty: “are we hanging later on??”

maty: “i was late for practice, trotz is gonna kill me haha”

maty: “are you there??”

maty: “baby?????” 

maty: "what did i do???"

His hurt was evident in each message, and it made you feel like shit to read it, but your friend was right. You needed to talk. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, girl. All I want is to see you happy with the guy you’re with. This guy seems like a keeper.” You smiled, and before you could continue on, she smiled. “One more question: Is he an Islanders fan?” 

You shook your head, confused as to what made her ask and smiled internally to yourself slightly at the little fact about him that you had kept secret. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, cause I know you’re not really into sports, so who’s hoodie is that?” 

You glanced down curiously and realized that, in your frantic rush to get dressed, you had forgotten that the hoodie you had worn to bed the night before wasn’t yours. No, it was much too big to be yours. The familiar blue with “Islanders Hockey” across the chest was a dead giveaway that you had accidentally stolen Mathew’s hoodie. 

“Oh,” you fumbled and reached up to play with the strings. “Yeah, he’s a fan.” 

Your friend just smiled and gave you once last look before urging you with one last whisper of “text him” and stood up to leave the table. After a long, deep breath, you picked up your phone with shaky hands, pressed his contact and typed out the words that scared you so much, watching the typing bubbles appear.

you: “Can we talk?”

maty: . . .

[cecilyneville]

the spanish princess ep 4!

“it’s like ripping off a bandaid,” i tell myself, “just gotta do it.” [proceeds to skip over like half the scenes]

every week i thank god that i’m not the one who pays for the stan subscription and am therefore watching this garbage for free

episode description is like “as meg jeopardizes everything for love”, i think u mean “as meg jeopardizes everything for some bombass douglas dick”

(ok no i think margaret actually did love angus, particularly as she often cited “he loves me not” in her letters as a reason she wished to divorce him. also i think she thought she had to ally with a powerful house regardless of what consequences it may bring. and on her deathbed when she asked that her son might look kindly upon angus - this may have been a bid to protect margaret douglas but at the same time it’s very possible that, as her life was drawing to a close, she looked back on her many feuds with angus and regretted them.) 

anyway enough meg chat, onto the show!

ugh the bird cage is back fuck me

wait wasn’t arthur plantagenet viscount lisle? or was he given that title later on? speaking of which, there’s a figure you never see in historical fiction, which is such a shame

charlotte hope’s horny acting is so cringe 

i wish we’d gotten to see margaret and angus’ wedding!

“angus will not rule with me” hmmm historical margaret thought otherwise lol

how is this so much more interesting than anything that happens in the english court

so, in ep 2 meg calls angus “angus douglas” and now catherine says “archibald douglas, the earl of angus”? boy i hope somebody got fired for that blunder

i feel like the guy who plays wolsey is taking inspiration from mark gatiss’ stephen gardiner (in wolf hall) and if so, i admire him very much

oh...ok. i see what they’re doing. they’re going to have howard ride to the border under catherine’s instructions and he’s going to bring meg back. so basically, we’re eschewing all the fun stuff in scotland for catherine’s dumb diplomacy

“that halfwit in a kilt” THEY’RE NOT WEARING KILTS YOU CLOD, KILTS WEREN’T EVEN INVENTED, WHO WROTE THIS EPISODE

“your sister’s sons must take the throne” uhhh james v is already on the throne, literally no one is disputing that, not even albany

i feel like they should have introduced anne hastings alongside bessie in the first ep (unless they did and i missed it, it’s possible)

once again, ch’s horny acting is super cringe

WAIT MEG AND ANGUS ARE LITERALLY HIDING OUT IN A PANTRY I WANT TO DIE THIS IS THE DUMBEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN

“that is my son, our future king, you raise your voice to” HE IS LITERALLY THE CROWNED KING OF SCOTLAND WTF, WHO WROTE THIS

meg calling herself sovereign when she is regent and called herself that earlier this episode...

like i don’t expect them to but the tsp writers have no idea how queenship works, in any of its forms

lina & oviedo’s babies are so cute 🥰🥰🥰

lina telling catherine that she is the light is deeply hilarious when lina is the most luminous presence on this show

catherine mentioning joanna offhandedly (in a negative sense) while doing nothing for her...

catherine constantly interfering in mary and meg’s lives and calling herself their sister, whilst doing nothing at all for joanna (yes i am aware that irl catherine wasn’t able to do so, but in tsp!verse where it’s all about ~sisterhood~ this makes no sense)

margaret and georgie both deserve so much better than this...maybe i should actually write that margaret biopic screenplay lol

so...margaret douglas doesn’t exist in this universe or???

“i will never trust again” [spongebob voice, after henry stewart shows up] a few moments later...

not going to comment on how this show has catherine heavily pregnant fighting in war but doesn’t have meg heavily pregnant fleeing across the border on horseback

i should know better than to expect historical lines from this show but they had the perfect opportunity for henry to say “done like a scot” and then they DIDN’T

i love that there’s no time for midwives but plenty of time to alert henry and summon lina & maggie

catherine standing and walking 0.5 seconds after giving birth

“thank you for your efforts” LOOOOOL

[kill bill sirens]

i’m assuming lina is going to testify against catherine in the last ep of the series and i truly cannot wait

emma frost said let thomas howard say fuck

this episode would have been far better if they’d included louis’ death and juxtaposed mary eloping with brandon with meg eloping with angus, and the diplomatic crises that follow, but then i guess there would be less time for catherine clenching her neck and that could not happen

who wrote this episode, i hope they never write for television again

[pride-and-flags-47]

Nonbinary November, Again!

Last year i answered the 22 questions @letters-to-lgbt-kids made for november, and I think it’s a good idea do re-answer them!

1.Which labels do you use?

At the moment, my gender labels are trans guy, nonbinary and demiboy, my gender isn’t exactly three gender but also isn’t exactly only one. For other non gender related stuff, aroace and gay (gay as in mlm, nblm, nblnb and mlnb).

And Ive named my gender but don't actively use the term, but it's still my gender, boyenbyflux.

2.What are your pronouns?

Only he/him!

3.How old were you when you came out to yourself as nonbinary?

Had to look in the older answers, but ye, in 2017 I used the label demigirl but never really thought of myself as not cis at the time, and in december of 2018 was when I realized I was trans, and started using demiboy, but as far as using the label nonbinary itself, around the middle of 2019.

4.What’s one thing you’d like to tell your younger self?

I always have a hard time with things like this. I think I’ll focus this on Alec on early 2020 for this: you’re not faking or cis for having weird gender dysphoria/euphora/apathy days, and a part of these weird days is because of the nonbinary part being louder than the male part of your gender at that moment.

5.Is there a myth about nonbinary people that annoys you the most?

Not really a myth, but the wrong belief that nonbinary genders are only one thing and that they can’t sometimes lean towards one or both binary genders.

6.Is there a nonbinary celebrity you look up to?

Not really? I’m not really big on following celebrities.

7.If you’re out, how did you come out?

Haven’t come out to most people I know irl. But I did come out to a colleague, it went well! I came out through WhatsApp and just said that I'm trans and aroace and gay.

8.Is there a gender-related pun you like?

non-bee-nary

Also not really a pun but none gender with left boy XD

9.Do you have friends who identify as nonbinary, too?

Nbfbsbsnn yeah basically most of my transmasc friends are also on the nonbinary spectrum.

10.Do you have a favorite lgbt+ character?

My characters fndnfsnn

But also my friends’ ocs.

As for more known media I forgot everything right now.

11. Lgbt, lgbt+, lgbtqa+… which one do you usually use?

All of them but also LGBTQ and LGBTQ+ and many other alternatives. Depends on the day.

12. How do you explain the term “nonbinary” to people who have no idea what it means?

A gender that isn’t entirely a binary gender (aka man and woman), basically almost any gender that isn’t 100% man or woman.

13.Tell us a fun fact about yourself (gender-related or random!)

I’ve been drawing everyday this year so far!

14.How did you find your name?

OK now that I have more names, I’ll go through each one XD

I chose Alec because two months before I realized I was trans I created an oc and called him Alec and I thought it was the closest to the male version of my deadname (it’s honestly not that close) and then I started using it! And it's my main name still.

As for Arthur, I just like it! Same for Alexandre, besides the fact that I though of a hypothetical scenario where I’m called uncle Alexandre and it makes me soft :3 and I had already been thinking about using Arthur or Alexandre instead of Alec or as my legal name while Alec would be a nickname, back in 2019 but I forgot about this until like, august/september of this year. And its AlexandRE, not AlexandER, Alexandre is more common here in my country + I have an oc with the name Alexander and he’s a horrible person and I couldn’t ever use that name for me XD

And Alex, it’s because I ended up starting relating a lot with my oc with that name, and there’s the bonus that is very similar to Alec and it’s a nice name.

15.If you’re in a relationship, how did your partner react to your coming-out?

I don’t have a partner.

16.Do you prefer partner, datemate, significant other or something else?

I don’t want a romantic relationship but if I enter a QPR I’d like to be called boyfriend :3 I also like the term joyfriend :3 I’m ok with partner but isn’t my prefered one.

17.A piece of advice for questioning kids?

Take your time, there’s no pressure to find out as fast as possible. Also gender and orientation is weird so it’s normal to end up going through a lot of labels, to settle with the first one you think about, to change between labels and go back to the first one and even to never really always settle. Life is weird and labels are too, and you have my full on support on your questioning journey.

18.Which flag(s) do you use?

I've been also looking for other gay man flags but haven't settled with another besides the rainbow one, but Ive been looking at the one libragender made and it's pretty nice.

And these last two i made them! It's the mlm + nblm flag and the flag about my gender!

19.Any tips for bad days?

Drink water, eat something, if you’re able, socialize and/or take a walk and get some sunlight. It wont help everything but somethimes that’s what is what is wrong and if it’s not the case, at least it’s less things making you feel worse.

And this blog is always open to listening and supporting, althought I may not always have advice, I can lend an ear for vents and stuff.

20.Do you have a favorite nonbinary blog on tumblr?

@finley-myself

Their comic is great and they’re honestly a really nice person!

21.Feminine, masculine, androgynous - or none of those things?

I call my presentation soft masc. It’s definetly masculine, with a tinge of androgeny but without anything feminine, Or I take something feminine and make it androgenous. And it’s soft because it’s not overly masculine, it’s masc light.

22. What are your three favorite things about yourself?

1- My sense of humor

2- My knowledge of random things

3- My attention to small things

And that’s it! be sure to check Oliver’s blog out too! It’s a really nice and positive place and his letters always cheer me up!

[the-sheep]

ID GO ABSOLUTELY BONKERS IF U TYPED OUT HIS ENTIRE HISTORY FBFBFBFB i would like 2 see it..........

alright right right

This ended up being A HUGE POST so all info is under the cut.

Unless you’re on mobile, in which case, enjoy scrolling.

It all starts on flight rising. Well, Heart starts on FR. It REALLY starts with my webcomic/animated series.

It wasn’t well drawn or animated at first, but it steadily got better. One of the plot holes, back in 8th grade, was “who created priscilla and Jake?”

It was mostly summed up to “Penny made all the bots its all simple” but i was a middle schooler and i needed a complicated (and edgy) story. 

Thing is I had already made Fandragons of a good chunk of my ocs on flight rising.

I bred two dragons to get my main characters, so why not just use them?

Christy Suggested the name Cavet, and I liked it.

Yeah this is my first digital image of him as a human and he DOES NOT LOOK RIGHT

no necklace, no beard, orange eyes…

horrific.

So I made human designs for them both, but Chrysanthemum remains forgotten, not even canon to Mechanical Fury anymore.

Here’s old art of her and Cavet back before she got wiped out from existence.

the art is bad btu the Heart gimmick is there

Here’s him in his second image ever. The one that pretty much defined his design.He also quickly gained a husband

Anyway he quickly morphed into a villain several time more dangerous than the main villain

He’s responsible for the deaths of not ONE, not TWO, but THREE children.

Two his kids, one the younger sister of a character that one of the dead kids liked.

One of his dead kids got his own story, the other was literally a main character.

Chloride, (Charlie) in all his glory, lucky enough to get resurrected as an android but after finding out he’s not who he thinks he is, has to attempt to live a normal Human life… when his two best friends are paranormal investigators, his love interest having lost their arm and their only remaining sister to the main villain.

He originally found out he was an android by finding his own blueprints, hearing his Mom cry about it, and then cutting open his face (for his signature scar) and running off. 

Running into Cavet’s husband, Nathair Liu. He stitches him up, know all about robotic n all that but he is.

also a secondary villain….

I hate the art in this video but its not my worst.

(Video was Vendy’s debut, too. tho Vendy was more Nate(logan/mind/princi/whatever)’s kid than Cavet’s)

Okay i’ve gotten off track.

Yeah at this point I was really loving Cavet, on FR, and wrote an entire long story between him and Skittles based on the events of Mechanical Fury.

This was where I got the idea for reincarnation.

I needed an explanation for why the same character was in two different universes, and it was perfect. In fact, it lead to an amazing way to end it. 

But what is in control of all this? What does he see in the in between?

Well, Death was packaged with two other red herrings to keep people from thinking she was more important than them from the start, when in fact, she was. One of the plot points is that Cavet dies. He continues causing havoc, but nobody can figure out why or how. he doesn’t have a body.

Except he does. Death.

She was scary, but that was just her, she was a literal robot grim reaper. Nobody suspected she was spreading a virus to make robots susceptible to Augap’s control everywhere she went. Not even her. Cav liked hanging out in the AI scape, AKA the robot afterlife or virtual heaven.

What a fun way to make a real grim reaper.

I never really kept track of the transition from “cute robot char” to “cute real god char”

and i guess it never happened. Heart still thinks of her as she was, as cute little Litty. Except when she’s not. He gave form to the literal concept of DEATH. And became her friend. She still calls him Papa, sometimes.

In any case, Cavet’s doodles started being more and more revolving around his angst with the reincarnation.

in fact, i had a few character in the same boat as him, as I had made a couple dragons into MF characters as well.

I called them The Artifacts. It didn’t seem rounded out with only four, so I added a 5th. To give me more leeway in case I make a character i like enough to bring with them.

and turns out. I did.

I was sad enough about Cavet losing the love of his life, betraying him, creating a rift between them with his descent into obsession.

So he came with them.

They’re inseparable.

after a few lives of getting revenge on him for killing his sons and some adult humans and a BUNCH of robots, (not even counting his crimes in the vampire life he committed because he thought he lost Liu forever) Soul revealed to him something about Heart’s 6th life, which Mind doesn’t remember.

But he was there.

Long story short, he was Captain Shuggazoom. Yeah 10 lives of stuff he forgot before he started remembering his past lives. Messed Heart up.

ANYWAY BACK TO DEVELOPMENT!

I went around, making original characters to fill in Heart’s lives. I put him in a LOT of stories, but a notable one is My Old Ask Blog, @ask-musical-monsters

In which Heart is our lovable Tweedle, Bean.

He’s the bird. (this is also the blog where Willow was made!) (also a character i referenced when putting antauri on the baldi blog)

I still hadn’t abandoned MF so Bean has a lot of influence from Cavet. 

I REALLY liked bean. It occured to me here-ish that Heart isn’t constrained by being my oc. He can be whoever he wants and nobody will care. 

So of course I immediately declare him purple guy. No drawings of him, but I know I said he was purple guy at some point. Also at this point in time I started organizing the lives by number order, and making a simple arc for Heart and the others to follow.

1000 lives. 

I made a brief description of heart’s 1st life, but made it purposefully very superfluous so i can change it whenever i want. All i know is he had albinism, and a desire to live forever.

That summer I got an amazing idea. I would take advantage of the Baldi’s basics trend with a ASK BLOG.

It was a mathematically calculated success. I did as many things as possible to generate more audience. MAIN thing being posting as often as possible, and being REALLY funny. 

But knew I wasn’t going to like adding to the ask blog if i didn’t like the main character

I already knew he was going to be Baldi, but I wasn’t sure exactly how to characterize him either. 

Turns out making him heart solved both of those problems. He’s always been Heart.

And Princi has ALWAYS been mind.

Even if they don’t always show their artifacts, they always were the same people as all these other things ive made. They have a DEEP connection to both each other and me.

At some point, I re-re-discovered SRMTHFG. The first few seconds I saw SK I knew he was Heart. It was so perfect it scared me.

HE EVEN DOES THE POSE!!!!! RED EYES!!!! AAAH!!!

I got an idea for a storyline based on formless and regret and monkeys… so.. uh

Anyway that kinda brings us to today, where the events of the blog have happened based on Heart things, and i can play around with Heart as much as I want.

And Willie’s next life? Well, 23 is my favorite number. It’ll be cool, but I’m not sure how. All I know is 23 wears a striped shirt, and is a vamp again.

In summary, Heart is the most important character I’ve ever made, and I will never come close to anybody as wonderful and as complicated as him. He’s the greatest formless, the best villains, the heroes, and one character i want to hold out for finding irl.

 I love them even in scribbles i find on bus seats, in fanart of him, love her in songs i hear, in flowers i see in the wild.

Whoever they end up being, it’s safe to say I’ve fallen in love with Heart. 

If you want me to describe his in universe story, I’ll need a seperate post.

Other Heart Resources:

The Spreadsheet

The Playlist

[sadboydayzz]

Episode 11 of Rainbow High rant

ok so I know I haven’t really talked about rainbow high here, but episode 11 has made me feel inspired, so here we are. I just wanna take a deep look into this video, especially since I’ve seen a few people pick sides. Not saying anyone is wrong, everyone is entitled to their opinion, I just wanna put everything out there.

So at the start of the episode we see Bella calling Jade to tell her how Vi has posted a video of Bella being expelled from Rainbow High and how it has almost a million views. Thats a lot of people who now know and saw Bella at a low point and getting kicked out of presumably an extremely hard school to get into. Thats humiliating and can crush anyones self esteem. Of course, Jade is angry and when she confronts Vi about the video, Vi seemingly only cares about the views at that point.

Vi, up until later in the episode, definitely has the “influencer” archetype. Wanting to film and share everything in her life, which is fine in my opinion, there are thousands of irl influencers who do the same thing. But of course, this was a private and serious moment, something that shouldn’t be shared.

Ruby and Jade decide to teach Vi a lesson by posting something embarrassing of Vi online. Now, we know they are roommates, classmates, and most likely friends. I think this action was not necessary, they could have done an intervention at most, but Vi does seem to not care about what happens to others until it happens to her mindset, so possibly, having an embarrassing moment posted online was the only way she would understood Bella’s pain.

Even though I would not consider having a video of you dancing and goofing off in private going viral as bad as having a video of you getting kicked out of your dream school, hysterically crying, and having very little time to say goodbye to your friends to be on the same level. But we can see that Vi was mocked and even (I would say) bullied by everyone in the school. Her roommate, who she trusted enough to bring into her close circle and see her just being herself, now posted a video behind her back to make fun of her, that hurts.

Now of course we dont know what’s happening to Bella outside of rainbow high, should could also be being bullied or looked down at from her family, but what we do know, she is very distressed about the whole video.

And though Vi learned her lesson, she was mocked in her face by the A’s, the popular kids at school and a group of people she looks up to.

I was bullied as a kid by a group of people I thought were my friends, so I could be taking this to a personal level, but I can see were Vi messed up but the hell she had to go through just to learn a lesson, yikes. But we all do learn through experience.

To sum up, this was a weird episode, and even though Ruby and Jade felt bad and decided to look like fools in front of the school together to make Vi feel better was a weird ending, but hey, this is for kids. I think no one should be necessarily mad at Vi, she was blinded by views and wanted that perfect image of an influencer, but she was willing to take the video down after realizing and Bella seemed to forgive her by liking the video at the end. But what Ruby and Jade did was down right wrong. They pushed revenge in order to feel like they were helping Bella and being the bigger people, but really the went low to take their friends trust and allowed her to be made fun of at school.

Also wouldnt Jade and Ruby be breaking the “cant publish student work” since technically Vi didnt sign a permission slip for them to film and upload the video? idk that whole plot point was weird too.

anyways thats my rant, if u want to follow me on insta for doll content its @druzydoll , gm/gn everyone and remember to drink water and eat something :)