#but like. bruh this is inconvenient

[suckcockanddie]

The way my ankles are so so very weak and feeble and fr feel like they're gonna disintegrate after standing for like a few hours

[cookies-over-yonder]

the internalized ableism is hitting

[zzora]

my sister in law decided to divorce her wife right before the 3 of us planned a nonrefundable weeklong trip to seattle together and we leave tomorrow haha just kill me guy 

[bbrabbits]

as a person w so goddamn much medical trauma the thought of having to go through the process to find a new doctor that is not just simply compatible w me, but who is also, like. u know. an actually nice, understanding person who will put genuine effort into taking proper care of me is so taxing. like i wish it was a simpler process, but it's not. bc i gotta deal w the very real possibility that by having to go through this process, my medical trauma will be worsened even further. & it is already bad enough that i have panic attacks every time i have to go to any sort of medical facility.

im literally so fucking furious over how much this happens. & that there's no fucking consequence for doing it to a Human Being. for tossing a Human Being that needs medical care aside like a piece of fucking trash. the american healthcare system is such a stupid fucking joke.

[happy10thousandyears]

Also like w the amount of yuri I’ve drawn u would ve thought I’m immune to exclu bullshit but man.

[strmpt]

me when my brother flips his lid because i asked him to pick up a medication at a pharmacy three (3) miles from his place of work versus the 15 miles from our house that i would have to GET AN UBER TO.

[713-4th-ward-g]

.

[sweeneydino]

Look at all those turtles

[goldfades]

thigh riding with Paige... 🤭

𝐓𝐖𝐎 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐒 ─ PB⁵

౨��� ─ summary | paige is ignoring you while she locks in while playing fortnite with kk, but you needed her attention (and she hates it when you're needy)

─ word count | 1.1k (this was supposed to be a blurb bruh)

─ warnings | NSFW under the cut, read at your own discretion! kinda mean paige, thigh riding (who woulda guessed?), nothing else?

─ taglist | @xocherishxo @iienstein @yazmunson @euphternal @hello-nah817 @wanderlusturous @plushkhiii @ilovepaigebueckerss @ajcuteee @vi0lentb3rry @paigeszn @brynsreads @delicateray

"PAIGE," YOU WHINED as she ignored you, her eyes plastered on her computer screen. You rolled your eyes as you sighed, collapsing back on the bed as your girlfriend continued playing Fortnite.

Her headset was on and her glasses were set on the bridge of her nose, her fingers clicking on the keyboard as she played. You were needy and dramatic, sure but it was for good reason, you hadn't seen Paige since the morning and you missed her. Yet right now, it seemed like playing her stupid game meant more to her than her girlfriend.

You wanted her attention but you didn't know how you were gonna get it. As you lay there, feeling neglected, you weighed your options. Interrupting her game would not go over well, but letting your feelings just sit there wouldn't help either.

"Dude they're following us, for sure." Paige mumbled into the headset as she groaned out loud. "I fucking told you, didn't I? I told you to leave it-"

Sighing once more, you sat up and watched her for a moment. The concentration etched on her face was almost endearing, but it also made you feel a bit left out. You wondered if she even realized how much time had passed since she last acknowledged your presence in the room.

An idea popped in your head as a smirk began forming on your lips. You walked up to her quietly, and put a hand on her shoulder as she looked up to see you. "Not right now, baby. Hold on,"

Hold on? Your jaw slightly dropped as you glared at your girlfriend. You couldn't believe Paige ─ her hot and very needy girlfriend was standing right next to her and she wanted her to hold on?

Gathering your courage, you spoke up again, your voice tinged with a hint of irritation. "Paige, seriously," you said, your tone firm. "I've been waiting for you all day, and all I want is a little bit of your time. Is it really too much to ask for?"

"KK, look out behind you!" Paige shouted into the headset, making you audibly groan before Paige finally glanced up at you again, putting a hand over her mic. "What? Why are you giving me attitude for, can't you wait for like, 5 minutes?"

You knew you were being overly dramatic and you knew that Paige hated when you'd give her attitude, especially for something small like this. But you finally had her attention and you were not gonna let it go now.

You met her gaze with a raised eyebrow, your tone dripping with sarcasm. "Oh, sorry to inconvenience you with my presence," you quipped, your voice laced with irritation. "I guess I'll just go find someone who actually wants to spend time with me."

Paige's eyes narrowed at your remark, a hint of annoyance flashing across her face. "Really? You're seriously going to pull that card over a stupid game?"

You shrugged nonchalantly, crossing your arms over your chest. "Why not?" you replied, a smug smirk playing on your lips. "It's not like you've paid any attention to me since you started playing anyway."

She sighed as she heard KK talk, "Yeah, I'm still here. Give me two seconds," she spoke as before she muted herself.

Two seconds, you gotta be kidding me. But before you could scoff or roll your eyes dramatically, Paige grabbed your arm and pulled you into her lap roughly. You stumbled as Paige pulled you into her lap, caught off guard by her sudden movement.

"Hey, what are you doing?" you protested, your voice tinged with annoyance as you struggled to regain your balance.

Paige ignored your protest, her grip firm as she held you close to her. "Fucking relax," she mumbled. "You're acting like a bitch in heat right now, you know that, right?"

You rolled your eyes but you couldn't help but feel yourself begin to get warm. Paige kept her gaze on you and as she pulled you off her lap for a second and gestured to your shorts before she unmuted herself. You stood there, almost shocked for a good two seconds before Paige sent you a look before you did as she told you.

You couldn't believe it took Paige a minute to win you back but you weren't complaining, you needed her. She stuck out her knee and you knew what to do ─ you straddled it as Paige kept her eyes locked on the screen.

"Yeah, you got 'em?" Paige spoke lowly as she felt your dampness hit her bare thigh, feeling a shiver go down her spine. Her cold knee sent a shiver down your spine as you bit your bottom lip.

You let a small whimper before Paige began rocking her knee, causing a full-blown moan to escape your lips. Paige sent you a warning glare as your eyes widen, your hand clasping over your hands.

"What was what noise?" Paige scoffed as she kept her gaze on the screen. "I didn't hear anything," she forced out a laugh as she kept rocking her knee, your cunt gliding against it.

You began to move alongside her knee, your head falling back as you gripped her shoulders. You felt pathetic, riding her thigh like a bitch in heat (in Paige's words) but it felt too good to stop. Your hips movements began more sporadic as Paige continued rocking her knee, muffled whimpers coming out of your lips.

Paige could tell that you were close so she put one of her hands on your hips, guiding you harder on her knee. Your eyes rolled on the back of your head as you let out a moan, feeling the knot in your stomach snap as you came undone on her thigh.

Your body felt like jelly as you collapsed on her chest, her hand moving up to the keyboard as she kept playing. A few minutes pass and you heard KK scream from her headset, glancing at the screen. She got it, she and KK had won the Victory Royale.

As the adrenaline from the game subsided, you nestled into Paige's chest, feeling a sense of contentment wash over you. Despite the earlier tension, being close to Paige like this was all you really wanted.

"Yup, I gotta go, KK. Bro, I'll- yeah, yeah. I got it, I heard you the first time. Okay, I'll see you tomorrow morning." She hung up the call quickly as she pulled off her headset, her hands finally beginning to caress your back.

Paige looked down at you, a soft smile on her lips. "I'm sorry for ignoring you, pretty."

You glanced up at her with a small smile. "It's okay, you made it up."

Paige's soft smile formed into a cocky smirk as she shrugged. "Yeah and I did it with no fingers, huh?"

"None, cus you're just like that," you mumbled as she laughed softly, pulling you closer.

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[explicitred]

Needy, Needy, Needy~!

heyooo time to feed my children

my children have been starved

Diluc

Mans is busy but sure knows how to show his affections. Even in the most... inconvenient situations.

Literally doing paperwork and a redhead comes up to you saying "pay attention to me"

Like sir, wtf. werent you the one just telling me that you had work earlier and that i needed to give you some time???

The unfair, unjust treatment SMH 🙄

The pen glides across the paper in a calm, unhurried motion, its sounds filling the room. You don't seem to notice when a certain redhead steps into the room, focused on getting these damn documents done, coming closer towards you...

"Darling," Diluc places a hand on your shoulder, causing you to jolt.

"Yes, Diluc?"

"Won't you come to bed? It's getting late and I..." He trails off, averting his eyes, his actions uncharacteristic of him.

"You...?"

Diluc quietly sighs, a dust of pink forming on his cheeks, seeming a bit embarrassed. "...I tried sleeping but I couldn't. I've become unfamiliar with sleeping alone. Darling, just come to bed with me, will you?"

aww, what a cutie patootie. it seems he just needs you to sleep~!

Xiao

bruh wtf

I SWEAR there's someone out there

Fr, just come out???

OH SHI- WHAT IF ITS A KIDNAPPER?!?!?!?!FKAHFJASJFHAJFSH

...Tsk, needy shortie!

Bro fr followed you???

You blink, having not expected Xiao to come out of the shadows. In turn, he stares at you back.

...

"...Hey, are you just going to stare at me?"

Ever since then, he's just been trailing you from behind in the shadows without you knowing, too embarrassed and shy to actually come up to you to steal your attention away.

(ig we only like st-lking when it comes from xiao lmfao)

"Yes, Xiao?" You huff, feeling him gently poke you in the shoulder for the nth time. You wait for his response, yet he doesn't give one. Turning your head, you see a blushing Xiao, who's just jolted from you looking at him, a hand slightly covering his mouth.

"Uhmm... A-Attention." He mumbles, too quiet for you to be able to understand what he is trying to convey.

"Hm?"

"...Attention."

"Ah."

You lightly chuckle, grabbing his waist before pulling him down with you, landing on top of him - essentially pinning him down while hugging him.

"M-Mm...!" Xiao's face burns redder, if that's even possible, shakily hugging you back. Oh god, he can feel his heart rate skyrocketing.

Hey, this counts as cuddling, doesn't it? How cute~

[eclipixels]

Hop Off

Yoichi Isagi x Reader

Content: Your boyfriend is constantly exhausted and once it starts affecting your relationship, you confront the cause of it. Crack fic where you call in a meeting with Rin and Kaiser telling them to hop off your boyfriend's dick. It's yours. Only yours.

[1,160 words]

      “Ichi…” You groaned softly, your voice barely above a whisper as you rolled over in bed. It was well past midnight, and you could already sense him slipping under the covers beside you, the familiar weight of him sinking into the mattress.

      “Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you,” he mumbled, his voice hoarse from exhaustion as he shifted to settle in.

      “It’s okay,” you replied, offering him a warm smile even though the corners of your lips felt tired.

      Isagi always made an effort to spend time with you, even when he was caught up with Ichinan, even when he began Blue Lock. But ever since that moment he scored the goal against the U-20 team and the Neo Egoist League took off, things had changed. His attention on you had begun to slip, like sand through your fingers. Was it really just due to soccer?

      It was a nagging feeling that had started small but grew with each passing day. You decided to confront Jinpachi Ego, of all people. You’d developed some sort of friendship with him, mostly from the times you had incessantly badgered the poor man about Isagi’s stats and performance. You felt like a soccer mom, always cheering him on from the sidelines, pushing him to do his best, telling him to pick up the pace when he seemed to slack off. But even you knew there was a limit.

      When you finally asked for Egp the data, you weren’t surprised when he confirmed your suspicions. He was being overworked and it was hindering his performance. Something unnecessary. Something blond and black haired.

      Yes, Isagi needed their competitiveness to sharpen his skills, but this was different.The rivalry triangle between the three had become more of a distraction than anything productive. You had hoped it would die down on its own, that maybe, just maybe, things would go back to normal. But they didn’t.

      As you curled up beside Isagi, you tried to find comfort in his arms. You missed him, in every sense of the word. His scent, his warmth, the way his presence had always calmed you. You kissed his neck gently, your hands tracing the familiar lines of his body, hoping to bring some kind of intimacy back. His arms wrapped around your waist instinctively. You continued, your hands trailing lower, just about to slip beneath the waistband of his pants when you heard it—soft, rhythmic snoring.

      He fell asleep.

      Bruh. Was he really that exhausted? Yeah okay, a line has been crossed by those prodigy losers. Enough was enough.

      Kaiser didn't really have any strong, polarizing feelings against you. To him, you were just a background character in the narrative of his life; the girlfriend of his obnoxiously unwelcome rival. You were simply there, existing on the fringes of his world, neither a threat nor a notable presence.

      To Rin, surprisingly, you didn't bother him much. You were nice, kind, and you were a girl. Rin was many things but he wasn't a misogynist. Compared to Isagi, he found you quite pleasant to be around. Actually, if it wasn't for Isagi being his rival, the dark-blue haired freak wasn't the worst person in the world.

      But none of that meant either of them were thrilled when they received a message summoning them to meet with you. Something about it being "important" (as if that was enough to justify the inconvenience). Kaiser was half-hoping it would be an announcment of you breaking up with Isagi. Rin was conjuring his wildest dreams that you had come bearing news of Isagi quitting soccer altogether. Literally any news of something terrible happening to the poor blueberry muffin boy would suffice. A stubbed toe? Getting pushed down a flight of stairs? It didn’t matter.

      When they arrived, however, the two were surpsied to see the other.

      “The hell?” Rin muttered in Japnese, his voice laced with irritation as he noticed Kaiser standing there. He kinda sounded like Evan Huang from that one show you watched with Isagi’s mom.

      “What’s the fifth member of My Chemical Romance doing here?” Kaiser shot back in German, his expression equally displeased.

      Neither of them had bothered to put on their earpieces yet, assuming this would just be a straightforward chat with you.

      “You’re going to need these,” you said curtly, gesturing for them to equip their translators.. “I’m not about to give this speech in both German and Japanese.”

      Once they begrudgingly complied, you wasted no time getting to the point.

      “Hop off Isagi’s dick.”

      The room fell silent as both men stared at you, utterly baffled.

      “Huh?” Kaiser was the first to break the silence, his expression a mix of confusion and offense.

      “You heard me,” you repeated, your tone unyielding. “Hop. Off.”

      “What does that even mean?” Rin asked, frowning deeply.

      “It means you two have an unhealthy obsession with him,” you clarified. “I get it, rivalries push people to be better. I actually appreciate how much you both challenge him but sometimes, actually, now more often than before, you guys are constantly on him like Draco Malfoy.”

      The reference went over Rin’s head completely. The closest he’d come to Harry Potter was a family trip to Universal Studios Tokyo with Sae and their parents years ago. Kaiser wasn’t any better, growing up broke without cable meant your words sounded like absolute nonsense to him.

      “This is giving me a headache,” Kaiser groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. He could be doing literally anything else right now. Sleeping, practicing, plotting how to reclaim his rightful throne in Bastard München back from that stupid freakishly blue-eyed freak—oh wait, understands what you mean now.

      Meanwhile, Rin was still stewing, his arms crossed as he glared at you. “Y/n, you sound almost as idiotic as your boyfriend right now,” he snapped. “Honestly, how does that ordinary NPC get Sae’s praise and become Blue Lock’s favorite for scoring one fucking goal which, for the record, he wouldn’t even had without me—I see your point” He paused mid-rant before coming to the conclusion you’ve been trying to get at. His posture slumped slightly as he glanced at Kaiser, who was nodding like he also had gone through the same realization.

      You gave a small, triumphant but sympathetic nod.

      “Look, I don’t care how you handle it,” you said firmly, “but you both need to back off. That dick is mine and lately I haven’t even been able to get it because of you two tiring it out before he gets home to me.”

      “Yeah, yeah, whatever you want Y/n-san just please stop talking about this.” Rin cringed, wanting this conversation to be over with as soon as possible. Their reaction was immediate and visceral as both men recoiled, their faces contorted with a mix of disgust and discomfort. Kaiser even shuddered at the thought, muttering something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like regret for showing up in the first place.

[tanghuyuj]

little things you do with bf yujin!

pairing: han yujin x gn!reader

contains: short headcanons + smau

maia’s note: this is soo self indulgent bruh 😭 i love yujin so much and i had to. this isn’t proofread Lol. none of the photos are mine. enjoy reading! likes and reblogs are always appreciatedd 🤎

- you and yujin most definitely have matching keychains and it’s not just one set of them, but manyyyy of them!!

- matching keychains on your backpacks, matching phone charms, the more the merrier as long as yujin makes sure to let everyone know that you’re his <33

- he especially loves any that he feels perfectly represents the two of you like a bunny and your favorite animal!

- his friends would ask him, “yujin, you have so many keychains on your backpack, isn’t it getting too much? too heavy?” and he would simply just shrug, brushing off their comments.

- cause he knows that he would do anything, even if it puts him in an inconvenient spot, for you!

- at first you said this as a joke, but yujin decided to make it reality.

- you and yujin would have a child together. a plushie child.

- it started with “yujin, wouldn’t it be so cute to have a plushie together and it would be our little child?”

- and then one school day he shows up with a small bear plushie saying, “yn look! it’s our child! what should we name it?”

- the naming process is a difficult one.. but you both agree on ‘sir jin y/n of the han dynasty’ (a great one, truly.)

- also, you would both take turns bringing it with you wherever you go and take a picture of it there. capture the travels of sir jin y/n of the han dynasty fr.

please DO NOT repost, copy, or translate.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Hi! I have been reading you for a long time and would like to ask you something for the first time… The last message flow to the Lethal Company from the Nutcracker was WILDLY SWEET, however, it hurt me from the bracken that was shot through the lytic…. May I ask the bracken and the reader where the bracken constantly goes behind the reader's back…. JUST TO HUG! Someone from the team warns about the danger and the bracken gently takes the reader in his arms to his lair for even bigger hugs!

Bruh you have no idea how soft i am for brackens hfghhs (when I first started playing LC, they were ALWAYS killing me...but now they just like to pop out and scurry away when I look at them, so I consider us to be pretty chill)

Anyways woe Bracken fluff be upon ye <3

.....

Of all the creatures you've encountered during your time with the Company, Brackens were certainly the most complicated.

Even though there's been countless documents and reports of employees scanning, studying, and dying to these aliens...they were still seldom understood. The data on the terminal said so.

There was one in particular who had such a unique behavior pattern that remained a mystery to you.

And he lived on Experimentation, which was supposedly the "safest" moon to land on and gather scrap from.

Most of the time, however, that was a load of bullshit...as you and your crew had many encounters with aggressive lifeforms such as hoarding bugs, Thumpers, spiders, and turrets that were placed in the most inconvenient spots...

Hell, even an Earth Leviathan showed up and nearly consumed your entire ship.

As of right now, though, you were on-track to making the third profit quota's deadline. So a trip to Experimentation was an order, as you could grab minimal loot and still gain enough leftover money to buy some much-needed ship upgrades and tools.

Or maybe new suits or jack o'lanterns.

None of you were good at managing your budget.

But during this trip, you were less focused on getting loot and more eager to see....a certain someone.

Hopefully, he hasn't forgotten about you or mistook you for another random employee.

While two of your coworkers headed into the facility's main entrance and one stayed behind on the ship, you ascended the stairs leading up to the fire exit--armed with nothing but a flashlight and a walkie-talkie.

[Nearby activity detected!]

"Oh come on...can you be anymore vague?" You huffed, slightly annoyed that your scanner displayed the message before you could even touch the damn door.

"Activity" was awfully broad and could mean literally anything was waiting for you on the other side..

It could be a bunker spider or snare flea waiting to drop down on you and catch you by surprise.

It could be a Hygrodere spreading itself all over the floor, anticipating you setting one foot into it before drowning in its slimy body.

It could even be a simple turret ready to turn you into swiss cheese.

However, there's the possibility that it could also be the one entity here who didn't wanna give you a painful death, and you hoped to god you were right.

So you took a leap of faith and entered.

Surprisingly no danger was immediately present, although you did find a lot of good loot inside the room and smiled. "Oh sweet!" You grabbed the rubber ducky and Rubik's cube in the nearest corner, pocketing them. "This should set us way above-"

"Something's behind you!"

"Huh-?!"

All of the sudden, a pair of large arms wrapped around you from behind, pulling you back and causing your oxygen tanks to be pressed against the creature's chest-

Wait.

You only knew one Bracken that did that, and you couldn't help but laugh. "Oh my gosh, you scared me! You know you can't keep doing that!"

"Krrrrrr.." The entity purred softly, nuzzling his face against your neck as its leaves rustled with happiness.

With a chuckle, you patted his arm affectionately. "I've missed you, too, buddy. I told you I'd be back."

Knowing it was this Bracken, you felt safer than ever. He had a habit of greeting you this way: by sneaking up behind you like the rest of his species typically did, and attacking you.....not by snapping your neck like a twig, but by embracing and nuzzling you.

Of course, nobody in your crew believed that you've got a dangerous alien predator on Experimentation who always waited for you. Who loved you like a dog and would kill a Thumper for you.

If only they could meet him...but then again, he was shy.

"Don't tell me it's that damn Bracken again...did you tame it or something?"

The staticky voice of your coworker over the walkie-talkie startled the poor Bracken out of the hug, as it dropped you and flared its leaves out, wondering where they were.

"Relax, we're cool." You huffed, annoyed that they spooked your friend. "I gotta conserve my battery so...signal me when it gets close to midnight."

"....fine. Just don't die. Over and out."

After switching off the device, you turned back to him and smiled apologetically. "Don't worry. They're far away, so they won't bother us." You removed your helmet for the moment.

He nodded in understanding, crouching down to get a better look at your human features.

For some reason he never minded prolonged eye contact with you--and that was a good thing....otherwise, you would've been dead a long time ago.

You smiled and patted the top of his head, before he suddenly sprung up and scooped you up into his arms, lifting you completely off the ground. "Woah! Hey! Where are we going?" You asked as he carried you out of the room, taking you somewhere further within the facility.

Considering the Bracken knew his way around, you weren't too concerned with getting lost.

On your way to this unknown destination, you spotted a hoarding bug skittering down the hallway, eyeing the brass bell attached to your belt.....only to freeze as the leafy entity glared at it.

Luckily it understood the appropriate time to make eye contact with a Bracken, as it eventually looked away from him and decided to leave for another part of the facility.

It seems most of the creatures were knew who was the alpha.

'Man, whoever's tracking me must be so confused right now..' You thought to yourself as he continued walking.

Eventually you both arrived at a place many employees dubbed the "Bracken Room": a large open illuminated space with yellowish walls that looked out of place in the facility.

After setting you down on the floor, you looked at the Bracken with confusion, wondering why he decided to bring you here....until he brought you into another hug, wanting to sit down and have you in his lap.

You just smiled and wrapped your arms around him, giggling as he tucked his head underneath your chin, wanting to listen to the sound of a human's heartbeat.

Now you understood.

All he wanted was to take you to a quiet, safe place away from all the other monsters and employees. A place where he could have you to himself...at least for a couple more hours, anyways.

You knew the ship wasn't leaving anytime soon, so you didn't mind keeping him company.

While other Brackens are among the top three reasons employees hated their job...this one made you love it.

You feel so lucky, you'll consider buying a lottery ticket if you ever returned to Earth.

[miguelswifey04]

hobie gives fairy!spidey a hug just to tease her and suddenly a giant tree appears in the hq—and everyone just stares at it (whenever she’s flustered she leaves behind flower petals and leaves, basically nature things)

YES i’ve been waiting for this one 🧚🏽‍♀️✨🤍

hobie brown x fairy!spidey! f reader

warnings: none; pure fluff

as hobie playfully wraps his arms around you, teasing you with a warm hug, a sudden influx of magical energy fills the room. as everyone's eyes widen in surprise, they turn their attention to a stunning sight before them – a gigantic tree towering in the middle of the headquarters.

leaves, flower petals, and vines cascade down from you, caught in a whirlwind of your own powers. you blush, your cheeks radiating warmth as the room fills with the sweet scent of nature. the other members of the team are in awe, witnessing this breathtaking display of your unique abilities.

hobie is taken aback but cranes his neck up in awe to see your cute little naturey powers in display. “woah , babe, looks like your powers are a little... bloomin’ today,” he chuckles as he nudges your arm playfully.

you were quite embarrassed as your emotions and feelings usually tied down to your fairy-like powers. “hobie, this is not the time nor the place for puns!”

despite the unexpected appearance of the tree, which now serves as a temporary centerpiece in the headquarters, everyone begins to appreciate the beauty and serenity it brings. soft light filters through the leaves, creating an enchanting ambiance in the room.

gwen comes from behind miles as she takes notice of the beautiful ambiance of the headquarters. she slightly giggles as she places an arm on your shoulder from behind. “well, i wasn't expecting this today, but i have to admit, it's strangely... peaceful.

miles nods as he chimes in standing next to hobie, “yeah, it's like a mini oasis in the middle of the concrete jungle.”

you take a deep breath, the petals and leaves gently swirling around you, and you manage to regain your composure. “okay, okay, let's not make a big deal out of it. i’ll just... figure out how to fix this. sorry about the inconvenience, everyone.” hobie grins, wrapping a comforting arm around your shoulders, “no need to apologize, babe. just another unexpected adventure in our crazy lives. we’ll deal with it together, like we always do.” hobie hugs you from behind as he leaves soft kisses on the side of your face.

miguel comes out of his office as jessica and peter are on his side. he’s sneezing as he somewhat seems to have allergies from all the plants, flowers, and pollen that seems to fill the air. “fairy, you need to-“ he gets caught off by his own sneezes and sniffles, “get rid of it. it’s cute and all but it messes up with my allergies, please.”

“uh—sorry miguel!! i’m on it!!” everyone around you laughs as they take in miguel’s disheveled appearance. with a renewed determination, you focus on your powers, calibrating your control to gradually dissipate the tree. leaves and petals gently fall from the air, slowly gathering in a small pile at your feet.

admist the chaos, a sense of unity and support fills the room, reminding everyone of the strength you find in each other and the undeniable bond you share.

———

a/n: bruh a spider fell on my bed while i was writing this 😭

[eiloveir]

→﹐naruto hc! <3

‹𝟹 :: ⭑⭒  🗨 !!  naruto characters and their social media habits

warnings: rushed and out-of-character

note: this is just something I decided to create on a whim, though I was inspired by a post on a clock app. i imagined how these characters might use social media, so here it is.

characters: konoha 12

𓋭  ۫   ☔️ ﹒ ❊  ͚

uzumaki naruto

this guy’s the reigning king of shitposting. he’s got a knack for calling out anything he deems “overrated,” and he doesn’t hold back. his feed is a never-ending stream of complaints about everything from minor inconveniences to full-blown disasters. you might see posts about how his ramen was too hot or things like pineapple on pizza. he’s the kind of troll who wouldn’t hesitate to pick a fight with kids on roblox, turning every argument into a battle that leaves them in tears and scrambling to save face (konohamaru). he would also be the type to start internet beefs over the most mundane things. if you’re ever scrolling through your feed and see a heated argument about why a certain trend is lame, chances are he is behind it.

haruno sakura

the feminist and activist extraordinaire! she’s the type of woman who not only supports human rights in every way possible but also cheers on the LGBTQ+ community with gusto—because, spoiler alert, she’s part of it. she’s someone who’s fully aware of the impact social media can have and is determined to use it to amplify her voice and make a real difference. i also think she has multiple social media accounts like a pro—there’s her private twitter account where she rants about how messed up the government is, her ao3 account where she writes fan fiction with a side of social commentary, and of course, her tumblr where she’s a curator of memes, political discourse, and everything in between. (me)

uchiha sasuke

god, bruh. this dude is basically a social media ghost—he hardly ever posts anything, but when he does, it’s like the internet has just won the lottery. he’s that guy who seems to do absolutely nothing yet somehow manages to grab everyone’s attention. he’s not really into posting on social media, but when he does, it’s always so aesthetically pleasing that you’d think he has a personal stylist and a professional photographer on speed dial. he doesn’t even try to make his posts look good; he just rolls out of bed and somehow manages to be effortlessly cool. man could post a picture of his breakfast and it would still get more likes than your entire feed.

nara shikamaru

this lazy ass (me) would probably end up being a streamer, posting about his win streaks and achievements in every game he plays. despite barely lifting a finger to do anything else, he’d be all over social media, bragging about every victory and high score. he’s the kind of guy who’d stream his gaming marathons from the comfort of his bed, racking up followers while casually lounging around in sweatpants. If there’s a leaderboard, you can bet he’s at the top, and he’s not shy about letting everyone know it.

yamanaka ino

girlie is the famous influencer! she’s always buzzing with posts about the latest fashion trends, beauty tips, and social events. like, you know, the kind of Instagram girlie who’s always flaunting her ootd and setting style standards. she’s practically a fashion icon with every outfit she wears. she’s also the type to post inspirational messages like “wear whatever makes you feel good” or “your body, your choice.” she’s incredibly popular across all her social media platforms and has a tiktok account—she’s all about those thirst traps and dance covers.

akimichi choji

my boi would definitely be the type to either watch mukbangs obsessively or become a mukbanger himself. he’d spend hours trying to replicate recipes he’s seen online, turning his kitchen into a culinary experiment zone. and you can bet he’d be posting all about it—sharing his attempts, successes, and occasional fails. his feed would be full of mouthwatering food shots and videos of him devouring his creations, proving that he’s just as passionate about cooking and eating as he is about sharing it with the world.

tenten

she’d regularly post about her daily life, giving followers an inside look at her studies or work. her feed would be filled with a lot of photos showcasing her favorite books, snapshots of her workout routines, and candid moments with her for lifers. she’s all about fitness, making her social media a hub for health tips and personal growth. you’d see her posting everything from meal prep ideas to gym selfies. she’d be the type to inspire others with her discipline and positivity.

rock lee

lee would be the type to flood his feed with gym and fitness content, sharing everything from his daily workout routines to personal fitness goals. his posts would be packed with enthusiasm and motivational messages, like “don’t judge a person because of their appearance” and other self-improvement quotes. despite his positive energy, not everyone’s a fan—especially naruto and kiba, who might be more inclined to roll their eyes and make a shitty rant about his optimism.

hyuga neji

this dude, much like sasuke, is totally indifferent to social media. he doesn’t bother with frequent posts but when he does, they’re thoughtful and deliberate. you might see him sharing reflections on life, articles he’s stumbled upon, or insightful news about everyday occurrences. he avoids jumping into pointless online drama or trends, yet somehow, he’s always clued in. that’s thanks to lee and tenten, who can’t stop talking about the latest gossip and social media happenings. despite his apparent disinterest, he picks up on all the chatter and remains surprisingly well-informed about the buzz. so, even though he’s a low-key user, he’s never completely out of the loop.

inuzuka kiba

his socials would be about random rants and memes. he’d post exaggerated complaints about the most trivial matters. his feed would be a fucking mess of humorous and offbeat content—think sarcastic comments, goofy polls, and plenty of memes featuring akamaru. he’d frequently stir up controversies, posting impulsively and diving headfirst into debates. his online presence would be a whirlwind of arguments, especially with naruto, where they often argue over who’s the dumbest between them.

hyuga hinata

she’s the type to be a crocheter, the kind you see on tiktok with an account just for her yarn creations. her feed would be packed with posts showcasing her latest crocheting projects—everything from cozy blankets and stylish scarves to adorable amigurumi (crocheted plush toys). she’d share detailed photos and videos of her work. her account would also feature tutorials and tips for fellow crocheters, helping them improve their skills. she might post about her extensive yarn collection, offer free patterns, and give followers a peek into her crafting process. whether she’s showing off her latest masterpiece or sharing a behind-the-scenes look at her studio, her feed would be a inspiring hub for all things crochet.

aburame shino

the random entomologist on your feed. he would be all about his shit for insects and the natural world. his posts would feature photos of various bugs, often accompanied by educational captions about their behavior, ecology, and characteristics. his feed would include updates from his fieldwork, observations on insect behavior, and informative posts about conservation efforts. while he might occasionally share glimpses of his other interests or hobbies, the focus would remain firmly on nature and entomology. whether he’s showcasing a rare beetle he’s spotted or sharing insights on preserving insect habitats, his content would be a treasure trove of knowledge for fellow nature enthusiasts.

[joey-smack]

Hi (I would like to sincerely apologize for any mistakes or misunderstandings that might be caused by my flawed use of the English language. I understand that my writing or speaking might not be up to the expected standard in countries such as the United States of America, United kingdom, Australia, etc. and I regret any confusion or misunderstandings that may arise because of such knowledge i have not in fact reached. English is not my first language, and while I am constantly striving to improve, I know there is always room for growth. I truly appreciate your understanding and patience as I continue to learn and refine my english language skills. Your feedback and any corrections you offer are valuable to me for as long as i still experience existence of atoms and molecules in my body, as they help me become more proficient and confident in my communication. once more, I deeply apologize for any inconvenience my knowledgeable errors may have caused, and I thank you for your continued support till this point.)

What are you Talking about Bruh