#but like whatever I guess??

[shuutingstar]

It’s FINALLY done. I’ve finished the sit-com/reality tv show/whatever. It’s only one chapter/a oneshot because it honestly took so long just to write and I procrastinated a bit, but there’s like 4 drafts of just different scenarios for this AU and I’m tired. Not sure if I’ll post this on ao3 or not, but whatever.

context (I guess??) to my suffering.

@doodlebugdpj I hope you like it and I’m terribly sorry if it wasn’t what you were expecting! I understand if it’s garbage because it honestly is.

[camera pans on Will Solace’s face. He’s sitting on a love seat in a bland room and fidgeting with his hands]

Will: [blinks uncomfortably] uh, I’m not sure what I’m meant to—

[a piece of paper gets thrown at Will and he catches it effortlessly, he looks at the contents and sighs]

Will: [reading from the paper indifferently] welcome to the start of a spin-off series where we look into the lives of the demigods residing at Camp Half-Blood. There will be laughs, there will be hardship, but most of all there will be a rememberable and lovable cast of characters— do I have to read this?

Apollo [off-screen]: of course! How else am I meant to start off my career as the best movie director? You know, I’m still disappointed that I couldn’t be in the show, but maybe Hephaestus is just waiting to star me in something really popular! I know he would never brush off my experience and expertise!

Will: [sighs] fine, fine. —rememberable and lovable cast of characters who all face the mundane problems of Camp Half-Blood. Grab some popcorn and sit back because you are about to be sent to an entire different world.

[Apollo claps off-screen while Will puts his head in his hands]

Apollo: well done! Although I do think you need to be more expressive, but I suppose it’s usable. Now if I had done it I would’ve used more emotions to convey just how excited I was to show off my new show, but that might just be a me thing.

Will: [puts his hands on his lap] can I go yet? Nico said he wanted to play some video games today and I need enough brain power to mentally prepare myself for my inevitable defeat.

Apollo: [hums] I guess. All right, you may leave.

[Will stands up quickly and leaves the studio room/basement of the Big House without another word]

[The camera cuts to a shot of Alice Mizayawa and Julia Feingold, who are standing opposite each other]

Alice: so you know how Mr. D loves his coke?

Julia: [nods] yeah.

Alice: [giggles] so what if I told you I swapped it for diet?

Julia: [blinks] you… Alice!? Are you stupid?!

Alice: [scoffs] no? I am completely aware of the consequences! It’s called wanting to have fun, Juls.

Julia: [raises an eyebrow] are you sure you aren’t trying to impress Kayla?

Alice: [slaps a hand on Julia’s mouth] what?! No! Why would I?

[camera cuts to Julia Feingold sitting on the love seat]

Julia: [looks deadpan at camera] Alice has a crush on Kayla and before you say that it was rude of me to reveal that, I’ll have you know that everyone at camp knows except for Kayla.

[camera cuts back to the previous scene]

Julia: [sighs and gets rid of Alice’s hand] okay, okay. How are you supposed to know if Mr. D finds out?

Alice: [smirks] don’t worry, I’ll know.

[a beat of silence before a frustrated scream echoes through the camp, few campers look for its source]

Alice: there it is!

Julia: [face palms] you are so dead.

[camera cuts to Alice sitting on the loveseat, looking worse for wear yet smiling brightly]

Alice: I got put on dish washing duty for a month, but it was worth it! [she sits crisscrossed on the seat] Kayla said my prank was hilarious! Can you believe that? [her smile widens] I think I might explode.

[Dionysus sits at the love seat, looking beyond tired]

Mr. D: fuck you, Zeus.*

*Hephaestus TV would like to clarify that this is a figure of speech and Dionysus does not actually want to fuck Zeus.

[camera cuts to Cecil Markowitz, Lou Ellen and Will Solace sitting in a circle and playing a card game]

Lou: [places a card on the deck in the middle of the circle] UNO.

Will: [huffs] I swear if this is your third win—

Lou: oh please, you’re just mad you’re bad at a card game.

Cecil: [chuckles] even I’ve won at least once.

Will: [rolls his eyes] it’s a game of luck, Cecil. You don’t need much to win a game like this.

[in the background a cabin lights on fire and Percy Jackson can be seen controlling water from the lake to extinguish it]

Lou: [smirks] are you not lucky, Will?

Will: [deadpans] Tyche hates my guts.

Cecil: did you accidentally forget to heal Chiara or something?

Will: what? No! I take my job as head healer very seriously.

[the fire slowly dissipates, however the cabin is charred and badly damaged. Annabeth Chase walks over to Percy, the two discussing something too far to pick up on]

Lou: [shrugs] it’s your turn, dipshit.

Will: [looks at his cards, then places one on the deck ans grins] maybe Tyche doesn’t hate my guts.

Cecil: [groans] just great. [takes four cards from the opposite deck reluctantly]

Lou: what’s the colour?

Will: hmm, how ‘bout blue?

Lou: ugh! You son of a bicth!

[Will and Cecil laugh at Lou’s unfortunate situation all the while in the background the cabin has gone up in flames again, Percy and Annabeth staring for a single moment before trying to extinguish it again]

Will: [puts a card down] UNO!

Cecil: whaaaat?!

Lou: fuck you, sunshine boy.

Will: [grins smugly] I guess Tyche has finally blessed me. Suck it, losers!

Cecil: [frowns] you’re so cruel, William.

[the three friends laugh as the sun sets behind them. The cabin is no longer on fire and now Leo Valdez and Harley have joined Annabeth and Percy. They discuss something before Harley looks down dejectedly]

[the camera cuts to the bland room once more, Will Solace sitting in the love seat once again]

Will: for the record, I won that UNO game.

[a paper gets thrown at him and Will looks at its contents indifferently]

Will: [reading form the paper] that concludes the pilot episode for Apollo’s new TV show. He would like to thank himself for coming up with the idea and Hephaestus TV for sponsoring the production. Tune back in next Wednesday to catch the very first episode of the series. [looks at camera] how much longer is this gonna last, dad?

Apollo [off-screen]: dunno, I’ll have to check the views first. I’ll get back to you.

[the screen fades to black as Will stands up and leaves]

don’t ask my what kayla x alice is doing in here, I wanted a funny scene and kayla was the first person I thought of.

I hate this so much, but honestly I kind of just want to be done with this (for now). This most definitely branches out from my initial post because it’s hard to incorporate fight scenes when my vocabulary only consists of ‘explosions’ and ‘screams’ in that field. Also, I guess it would make sense if sometimes camp wasn’t in mortal danger and other times it was? So yeah. That’s what this is.

[mroddmod]

everyone be quiet i'm manifesting

[itsdefinitely]

i've noticed a pattern

[rapidhighway]

the thing that caused me so much grief last night but now i feel better about it fdnghgdfggd

[wtfforged]

my campaign hiatus has gone on for too long so to cope ive combined my interests at their maximum potency and had some dnd-strawhats thoughts

thoughts in depth under read more... :)!

this is SO self indulgent. their designs literally did not change. but i am a firm believer that dnd doesnt have to be european high fantasy. and also one piece literally IS fantasy. no changes are necessary to fit into dnd. ive already imagined plenty of campaign/oneshot ideas inspired by one piece. so this was basically just an exercise of trying to replicate their canon abilities in dnd 5e as much as possible without totally homebrewing everything. well. aside from luffy. you just cant take away or change his stretching.

LUFFY: (human monk. drunken master subclass. outlander)

the only plain human of the crew to balance out with the fact that he still has rubber powers. obviously a monk. but drunken master subclass specifically because i think the flavor(not the fact that its about being a drunkard) and abilities both fit him really well. this line in the subclass' flavortext especially fits him: "A drunken master often enjoys playing the fool to bring gladness to the despondent or to demonstrate humility to the arrogant, but when battle is joined, the drunken master can be a maddening, masterful foe."

ZORO: (tiefling fighter. samurai subclass. bounty hunter)

a fighter with the samurai subclass is so very incredibly obvious... but i actually had a lot of fun geeking out while comparing the abilities to what he can do in canon; Fighting Spirit, Rapid Strike, and Strength Before Death especially! tiefling is also pretty on the nose for his demon pirate hunter shtick and asura form, but i thought he'd be really human-passing for a tiefling and theorized about his tail getting cut off at some point or another before joining the strawhats. initially wasnt gonna give him a feat, but i gave sanji a feat so i thought itd be unfair to not give him one as well, so sentinel fits the bill pretty well i think!

NAMI: (tabaxi rogue. arcane trickster subclass. criminal)

cat burglar -> full grown literal humanoid cat. this one is INCREDIBLY self indulgent... i love... cats... theres nothing deeper to this and no other reasoning. i took cat burglar and ran with it. can you tell that i love izutsumi dungeon meshi? rogue for the aforementioned burglar-ing as well, and the arcane trickster subclass for when she picks up climatact! the mage hand will be very useful for her pickpocketing. in the future as she levels up with timeskip, i can totally see her multiclassing into wizard as well! weather wizard!

USOPP: (lightfoot halfling artificer. artillerist subclass. urchin)

I HAD SO MUCH FUN THINKING ABOUT HIS CHARACTER SHEET. halfling's Naturally Stealthy ability lets him hide behind his crewmates since theyre (almost) all bigger than him, so its perfect for hiding behind zoro or sanji all the time. Lucky is also perfect for him, and I think Brave fits pretty well too when he puts on the sogeking mask. artillerist artificer is also very fun! tinkering and making magic items for his crew, and i think Eldritch Canon or Arcane Firearm could both be easily reflavored as kabuto or any of his inventions. for emphasizing his sniper-ness, the spell sniper feat was also necessary. i think hes my favorite of all the concepts. big ears and long nose combo is so cute to me.

SANJI: (half-elf monk. drunken master subclass. guild artisan (cook!))

race was mostly based on vibes i wont lie. squints. and that vinsmoke balogna or whatever too ig. but mostly vibes. along with the idea that i think a dwarf zeff raising him would be really funny and cute. monk is also obvious, and same subclass as luffy for mostly the same reasons. though the flavor fits him much less, i think the abilities still fit him perfectly, and this blurb specifically; "Your martial arts technique mixes combat training with the precision of a dancer." i really wanted to give him a different subclass from luffy, but i dislike all the other monk subclasses a lot and i found none of them fit him as well anyways, so to try and give them SOME differences, i gave him the crusher feat.

CHOPPER: (awakened deer(shifter statblock) cleric. life subclass. hermit)

this ones definitely a mouthful im sorry. awakened deer for obvious reasons, but due to magic instead of devil fruit stuff. when i was struggling with his race, i looked a lot at shifter because of his forms, but it occurred to me that itd be super cool if he could shift between all of the different shifter options instead of being stuck with just one to replicate his rumble balls. something like heavy point/guard point=beasthide, horn point/arm point(?maybe?)=longtooth, walk point/jumping point=swiftstride, and brain point=wildhunt. hed definitely need some kind of nerf though to balance out that homebrew... and cleric for class. duh.

ROBIN: (high elf wizard. order of scribes subclass. criminal)

robin is definitely the one i struggled the most with just because of her class. elf came pretty easily- shes very elegant and i think shed look cute with super long ears- and i landed on high elf instead of wood elf for the int-based abilities. i was really on the fence between sorcerer and wizard for her because i knew shed be a full spellcaster, but i didnt feel that any of the subclasses really fit her. i ended up going with wizard for order of the scribes since it focuses on texts and knowing everything. but also because robin with a flying talking sentient book would be crazy cool. it could also be similar to how she spawns mouths and eyes places to talk to or watch people. my "fuck it, why not. this would be rad. its my house" mindset kicked in with her i will admit. also the One with the Word ability made me cackle out loud when i read it. thats the funniest ability ever. anyways, i cant really think of a way to replicate her powers, but maybe we could just reflavor a bunch of spells to be her limbs or clutch; hold person, maximillian's earthen grasp, or evard's black tentacles. thatd probably work okay, and theres a handful of spells to replicate her ability to spawn eyes or mouths. unrelated, but i imagine nico olvia to be a drow. why? her hair is white. i am a simple man!

[inkskinned]

we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.

"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."

i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.

you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"

i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.

what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.

i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.

"don't make a big deal about this," you said.

this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.

"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.

you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."

the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.

afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."

[egophiliac]

giving the people what they want (jokes about spreadsheets)

anyway, Twst continues to prove that it is aimed at me specifically by giving us not one, but now TWO extended scenes of characters being incredibly difficult about signing an NDA. you just don't get this anywhere else.

[wombywoo]

retired 🩶

[airoarts]

I know several other people have redrawn that one official cloudtail & brightheart art but i wanted to take a crack at it. Hire me harpercollins.

[ID: a digital painting of Cloudtail and Brightheart from Warriors in a semi-realistic style. Cloudtail is a fluffy white cat with blue eyes, and Brightheart is a ginger-and-white cat with one blue eye and heavy scarring on the other side of her face, including an empty eyesocket, shredded ear, and part of her lip torn away to reveal her teeth. The cats are facing towards the viewer, looking happy, with Brightheart leaning her head into Cloudtail's muzzle. They are in a field of tall grass with mountains visible in the background and a tree with a few leaves looming over them. End ID]

Original below the cut for comparison

[ID: a painting similar to the first one, but Brightheart and Cloudtail are drawn in a more realistic style, lacking expression, and not leaning into each other. Brightheart has much less ginger on her pelt and her scarring is reduced to a few scratches on her eye. End ID]

[wardingshout]

apple season

[hinamie]

wanted to practice some more intense angry expressions and what better excuse to further my agenda of giving megumi the emotional catharsis he deserves

[pangolin-404]

The Lovers by Sneha Solanki // The Kiss by Kelly Mark // TV Garden by Nam June Paik (x2) // Sistine Chapel by Nam June Paik // TV Clock by Nam June Paik // Untitled (The Sky is Blue) by Sandy Smith // More Wrong Things by Carolee Schneemann // Nabil Saleh // Puma XO Tao by Dan Dowding/Media Pollution

[yangjeongin]

INTRODUCING … STRAY KIDS! (CHK CHK BOOM VER.)

[umblrspectrum]

i got lazy in the second panel

[glitchdollmemoria]

please can we stop describing bigots as delusional. please. im so fucking tired. someone being sucked into a hate group surrounded by others who believe minorities should be oppressed and encouraging them to believe in conspiracy theories that the rest of the group believes, is fundamentally different from someone having a mental illness that causes delusions.

delusions, by definition, cannot be explained by things like cultural background - such as having a belief constantly reinforced by intentional attempts to rationalize it for the sake of maintaining power over minorities. yes, someone can be both delusional and a bigot, and yes conspiracy theories can feed into delusions, but the two are not fucking synonymous.

i did not spend my teen years convinced that i was being stalked by demons just to hear so many of you people equate my disability with incel behavior and genocidal propaganda. stop reinforcing harmful connotations about mental health struggles.

[arundolyn]

everybody shut up

dizzy narwhal