#but like i dont get this opportunity very often!! im going to see the play on opening night and i want it to feel special
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practicality vs the opportunity to show love for my friends FIGHT
#bought a bunch of flowers at the supermarket to give to my friends in the play tonight#im gonna dress up slightly too im just so excited i want to respect and recognize the work put into this production as much as i can#i wanna invite the people i'm going with over before for food or something but i dont think they would want to idk#like i overthought it and now im afraid that im doing too much#but like i dont get this opportunity very often!! im going to see the play on opening night and i want it to feel special#txt#i too think that flowers are kinda frivolous but like they're also very special!!! and they're practical in that getting a bunch#and splitting it is a relatively cheap and extremely easy way to show appreciation#also who doesnt love holding flowers after a performance
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Idk if uve discussed this before, im new haha but I really enjoy your readings of the show and I’m curious, would u call louis a femme? Idk i think it’s a widely accepted canon in the fandom and i constantly see it spread all over twitter with no argument whatsoever and im over here like i.. i dont see it?? Idk!
Hey! Welcome, anon! And thank you for your kind words! You’re very sweet!
I think I’ve probably discussed it in fragments before, but not outright said it, but no, I wouldn’t call Louis a femme. It’s certainly a largely accepted fanon in a vocal part of the fandom, particularly on Twitter and ao3, and yeah - - I mean. I’m really glad people are having fun with it! I do also sometimes feel they’re watching a different show to me though, because it’s honestly not something I see at all. I don’t know if their arguments are necessarily organized in the one place (although I could be very wrong in terms of that!) but I might use this as an opportunity to collate my thoughts and the previous posts I’ve made addressing the arguments around this particular topic. SO! Okay! Let’s break it down and dive in:
Louis is femme because he’s a Gothic Heroine
I just don’t agree with this argument, I’m sorry. I’m not going to get into the weeds of this one, just because I feel like I’ve done so already, but I don’t personally read Louis as a gothic heroine at all. In fact, I see him as a very archetypical Byronic Hero, which I talked about in this post, and in others in my Byronic Hero tag.
Louis is femme because he is a Battered Housewife / relying on a Sugar Daddy
This point often gets tied up into the gothic heroine one, and it’s one that always kind of surprises me a little bit. Even putting aside the fact that it’s an ugly, misogynistic trope in general, Louis’ relationship to being a quote-unquote ‘housewife’ is one that – to me – is symbolic of his feelings of emasculation in the Rue Royale household not as a result of Lestat alone, but as a result of the white power structures in New Orleans that would disempower and disenfranchise him. He doesn’t like it, it doesn’t make him ‘femme’, in fact, my interpretation is the opposite – it emasculates him as a Black Man, and he feels that in every part of his life to the point that both his daughter and sister weaponize it against him, and I personally think it’s a factor in his periodic impotence in his marriage. Respectively, Claudia calls him the housewife, and Grace calls Lestat his white daddy – these aren’t compliments, these are callous insults from both of them designed to bruise his pride and force him into action. The fact that neither of them work to move him the way they want doesn’t mean Louis identifies with them, rather it means he’s – at the time – committed to Lestat for better and worse, but their words compound in a way that fuels his resentment of Lestat as both an adulterous husband and a symbol of everything wrong with his life.
Further to that – and I say it in the Byronic Hero/Gothic Heroine post that I link to above – but a vital part of power dynamic tropes in gothic literature is that women lose power through marriage, they don’t gain it, and Louis does, in fact, gain it. Lestat’s a ticket to social advancement for Louis because as much as Louis (rightfully! It’s extremely racist!) hates being forced into a servitude role publicly at the theatre or in lease agreements, it’s Lestat’s whiteness that allows Louis into more conversations politically, and eventually allows him to buy the Fair Play Saloon and turn it into The Azaelia. It’s a limited power, of course, as a result of his race and the era, but the show actually explicitly lays out certain things for us like the fact that Louis pays Lestat back in full, and pointedly, that Louis never felt that he had to pay Lestat back at all:
The last line of which is Louis greeting Lestat not as a sugar baby or a housewife walking out to his sugar daddy or husband, but as a business man to his husband.
In fact, the interesting exchange of power in that sequence actually leans to the reverse as Lestat ends up playing host to a new client while Louis lords over an empire.
(You can't see it exactly in these subtitles, but it's Louis who says 'you about five years late', and Lestat honeytrapping with taking the man away).
It's a dynamic that repeats with the musician who tries to leave that Lestat coerces into staying - Louis' king of the castle, and Lestat, the show implies, I feel, plays the placating partner smooting over the edges.
But isn’t Lestat a symbol of patriarchal power in the Rue Royale Household?
I’ve had a couple of asks about this and have a long reply in my drafts that I’ll try and post this weekend, but yes and no? I think in Rue Royale, Lestat’s definitely a symbol of patriarchal power to Claudia, and I think Louis sometimes feels him that way too, but I don’t think it’s actually true for Louis in the way that it is for Claudia. Gender isn’t what divides Louis and Lestat, it’s race, and every time Louis has the chance to exert patriarchal power against anyone outside that house or inside it, he uses it – from coercing Lestat into Claudia's rebirth to physically assaulting Claudia over Lestat’s murder, to even trying to influence her diet and guilting her into staying, to throwing Lestat out of his own house and then fucking him in his lover’s bed (which, obviously, are after Lestat's singular act of violence), to being literally a pimp, strongarming his sister and his mother, to giving less than 0 fucks about Lily’s murder and the attempted anal-rape of Bricktop - - just.
Yeah. There are two patriarchs in the Rue Royale household, and both their names begin with L.
Eldest daughter syndrome
Sometimes men are also eldest siblings who feel the burden of responsibility?
Even beyond that though, I think Louis’ response to Grace is particularly paternalistic, a pattern he’d repeat with Claudia, which I talk about here. I do think Louis has a lot of responsibility and weight on his shoulders as an eldest child, absolutely, and I actually think there’s a lot to talk about in terms of his complex position as brother-father to Paul and Grace in s1 (and I empathise with him intensely in this regard as someone who’s been a sibling’s guardian), but like. That’s not a feminine trait, nor is it one that makes him an eldest daughter. I’m not one, and he’s not one either. Sibling dynamics aren’t cut and paste.
But Louis buys and reads Madame Bovary and obviously relates to Emma
I mean, he doesn’t buy it – the show literally, explicitly makes the point of telling us that it’s Lestat’s copy of the book that he’s reading, which honestly makes sense to me. I talked about it here (where I include the caps of it being Lestat's book too), but Emma as a character cheats because she finds monogamy boring, provincial life even more so and dislikes her daughter, while married to a successful man in a regional town. Louis’ not the Emma in that equation, Lestat is, given he's fucking Antoinette – allegedly because he wants variety – escaped the Auvergne in Paris, and can’t cope with parenthood and/or Claudia.
Interestingly too, Louis’ focus in that scene is on the 'denseness' of the prose and 'the absence of metaphor' not the content, as he ignores Lestat having a meltdown directly opposite him. My interpretation of that scene is that the writing is pointing out exactly how disconnected they are from each other, and that Louis can read a story that parallels a lot of Lestat’s experience, and fail to relate it to, or empathise with Lestat at all, even as Lestat indulges Louis’ depression and hoarding, which ! I love Louis, but Lestat does in that sequence (not that that justifies anything that Lestat does, of course).
Isn’t Louis compared to Juliet and Mélisande?
Mmm, yes and no? Armand does put him in the Juliet role, which Louis riffs with Dreamstat about, but I tend to interpret that more to be about the involvement of the balcony than I do about their roles as Romeo and Juliet – because, y’know. Not everything’s actually about gender, particularly with same sex couples of that era who had limited reference points generally, and certainly limited mainstream ones.
And Melisande - - not at all, actually? I do have to say that I’m a little bit baffled by this particular argument given we have the lyrics to Come to Me and Lestat puts himself in the feminine role of Mélisande (and I actually do think you can mount the argument that he's done that because he’s intending for Antoinette to sing it, which I thought for a long time before hearing Long Face tbh, and now I actually do think it’s deliberately playing into Louis’ sense of masculinity), and he does cast Louis in the masculine role of Pelléas. The chorus literally goes:
Ruin each other Like star-crossed lovers Your Pelléas, my Mélisande Oh, come to me Come to me
So, yeah. Again, that argument just doesn't quite land for me.
Wasn’t he jealous of Grace’s pregnancy though?
Was he? That wasn’t my interpretation, but I’d actually genuinely be interested to hear a case for it, because I feel that’s kind of tasty on a narrative level, haha. My interpretation of that entire sequence though kind of feeds back into that eldest sibling thing again where he a) resented Grace building something of her own before he could, and b) was terrified of the idea that her having her own family would mean that she’d pull way from him which she, of course, did.
I tend to see Louis’ desire to have Claudia as a fairly impulsive one, and I actually see (in the show’verse) his desire to have Lestat be the one to turn her as a part of him further interlocking him and Lestat together, particularly after he's effectively just broken up with Lestat. It's messy! But yeah, I mean, I think 2.07 laid out pretty cleanly that Louis' choice to turn Claudia was inherently a selfish one, and I personally don't see it as one borne out of jealousy so much as needing an anchor.
Anne bases Louis on herself
She also bases Lestat on herself and/or everything she wants to be, and also washes her hands of Louis as a character for books at a time, and like - - I’m sorry, this is not the tone I usually take, but like - - lowkey, who cares? Everyone in this fandom loves death of the author until Anne says one thing they can use to justify their headcanons, and I just don’t really get it. Why are you trying to interpret a vampire novel as a memoir? Obviously it’s not factual? Anne’s not a man, she’s not drinking blood, she’s not romantically entangled with her dead daughter, like I do understand that it can feel noodly sometimes with authors and characters, but as someone who works with a lot of writers, I can promise you they’re dipping in and out of characters like crazy, haha.
It doesn’t mean a character’s them, and it certainly doesn’t mean you’re interacting with Anne when you're interacting with Louis, which I suspect a lot of people don’t want anyway? I don't know, personally I view this one as a bit of a non-starter.
Louis’ pretty though
Yeah, he is! He’s your Helen of Troy! He’s beautiful! He’d look amazing in tights and heels! That doesn’t mean he’s canonically femme though.
#louis asks#iwtv asks#maybe there's more arguments?#i feel these are the ones i see the most though#but yeah anon i mean mmm#i think certain discourse took off during the last hiatus tbh#because i was around on the periphery last season and i feel like i came back at the start of s2 to a very different social media climate#so i guess take that as you will#it's interesting though#all in all#me like#will I use a main tag?#y’know what?#yeah maybe#haha#amc interview with the vampire
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Do more like that reading pls plspls
Hehe here's more nsfw readings then
Took the idea from an anon i saw on another account and couldn't wait to see what the energies are so im just doing it myself🏃🏻♀️ hope thats ok. Anyways...
Who in Skz is into pegging?
Chan
Strictly against it, he has firm boundaries and doesn't play about it, i think he wouldn't even like a tiny finger in the butt during a blowjob or something.
Lee Know
Ready to try, i think he would initiate it even, like bring it up himself. Probably has already done it. I think he liked it and wants to do it more often now and always have some sort of butt stimulation whenever doing the nasty. Omg when i asked how his experience was i got the sun, with the glowing, flying person on it😂 best description of an orgasm i could get🙌🏻😂 also i heard "i can take it"🫢 didn't expect such straightforwardness with our boy here, thats new. But yeah i'm now pretty sure he has had several pegging or anal experiences, especially on the receiving end and really loved it very much. I would even say he's experienced🌝
Changbin
Wants to try. Hasn't yet. I think he's really curious and thinks he'll really like it but he hasn't had the right person or opportunity to try it yet. I think he might've tried something by himself and really liked it. Although im actually getting the vibe he may habe found this out when he was much younger and still exploring his sexuality - so that's why he's so eager to try and thinks he'll like it - but as i said, i feel like there's some sort of worry to share that with his partners, because he may feel like its too taboo and maybe feel some shame around it or feel too vulnerable showing that desire to his sexual partners, or if he has done it, he has gotten rejected. Although i don't really think thats the case. I feel like he hasn't initiated it himself yet.
Hyunjin
Loves it so much but gets too little. I feel like he would love to get some butt action much more in his sex life and doesn't get that nearly as much as he would like. There's lots of water on the card so i think he cums a lot when receiving and i think he might be into milking. Also im hearing its such a waste letting a juicy boy like him dry up like that. Weird tho you would think a guy like him would have all the options in the world he wants and never be not satisfied in bed. Go figure.
Han
Probably explored that recently within a relationship and the experience was nice. Wouldn't say he's necessarily INTO IT, but he doesn't mind and likes it as long as its with a partner he loves and trusts.
Felix
I think if its on porn or in theory he's really turned on by it, tho when it comes to actually trying it he's very scared. And i think whatever excitement he had previously goes all down the drain. Im seeing mostly fear, but also some sort of appalling? Like, ugh idk how to explain it but it seems like it just feels wrong for him to get that. I don't see him minding giving tho.
Seungmin
Is open to try and explore, i think he's actually excited about it, like if his partner brought it up he would gladly try. Or even bring it up himself if he and his partner wanted to spice things up a bit. Which surprises me quite a lot actually, i expected that the least from him. Although im not necessarily seeing pegging but stuff thats more on the smaller side like fingering or something of that scale. At least for the beginning until the initial exploration phase is over. Also a side note im seeing is....ugh i don't even wanna say cuz it makes me feel so weird so im just gonna hint. He's ehm...gifted? when it comes to that...area. Like he would really enjoy it🥭 if u get it get if u dont u dont.
I.N
Also wouldn't doo it, i think mentioning that even would bring him so much stress and worry and just make him fall out of the mood completely and i think he's way to unrelaxed to enjoy an activity like this. Even if he ended up doing it it would be a miss for both as it just wouldn't be fun. Literally a pain in the ass (😂 yeah ik the joke is lame, yes i still find it funny)
If i had to do a MTL it would look like that:
1. Lee Know
2. Hyunjin
3. Changbin
4. Felix (Despite him being scared af it still turns him on)
5. Seungmin
6. Han
7. I.N
8. Chan
#skz#stray kids#asks#kpop#tarot reading#seo changbin#bang chan#lee know#hyunjin#lee felix#han jisung#seungmin#i.n skz#skz headcanons#skz reactions#skz imagines#skz tarot#stray kids tarot#kpop tarot#skz smut
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Shadow High series 3 my new beloved
I didnt even like most of em until i saw them in person, but the knowledge that they'll probably never be in the show has my brain in a "well its free realestate" kinda mood
Random list of information cuz ive been plotting out friend dynamics and background lore
-i like to pretend Rainbow High/Shadow High are actually Rainbow University/Shadow University cuz im in art college Right Now and i think it makes more sense with the whole dorm room situation. And also major makes more sense than focus IMO
-I changed Pinkie's major from film to just undeclared. I think she eventually does land on Film. She just has a lot of interests! Her dream has always been to one day direct films, and I think she comes to love them even more while developing ideas her with the group as she winds up in a Director/Producer position for most of them. BUT also every time she takes a class in a different program she cant help but fall in love with that way of making art too. So she has a hard time picking for a while and changed her major a couple times before landing on Film.
-Pinkie and Berrie bond a lot over a shared interest in vocal synths (tho Berrie knows more about them than her).
-The two made Pinkie's vtuber model together!
-the fandom wiki says PJ is from germany?? Idk how canon that is tbh but ive decided to embrace it i guess
-Rooney's canon name is Scarlet Rose, but i thought it was kinda lame especially when Rosie Redwood is also in this line sooo I renamed her! Stuck to the color name puns tho. Mar Rooney. Maroon. Haha
-Speaking on her though i love that shes from texas and likes writing scifi mystery type stuff and that being said i just Know deep in my bones that she was a Voltron Legendary Defender fan and Keith was/is 100% her favorite. She has a continued fondness for mothman specifically cuz of this.
-PJ and Rooney actually talk about fandom and shows/movies ALL the time. They dont have a ton of overlapping interests, but where they do? The two literally never shut up.
-Rosie is such a random character, like outside of her design she feels very poorly considered. So I scrapped the cosmetology thing and made her an illustrator instead! I think it works better with her love of making art in nature. I can see her being really into illustrated guide books. I think shes a bit snooty when it comes to art too. It takes being friends with other artists to become more open minded.
-I like the idea that Rosie is mainly friends with Rooney and Berrie ontop of that. The three of them often tag team storylines and how theyd interpret them into different mediums. Rosie will draw up a bunch of concept stuff while Rooney writes up a pitch bible and Berrie will start making shit move and throwing in her own ideas on camera angles and character designs.
-as an animation major Berrie was required to take a sound design class early on, which is where she met Oliver! Hes very laid back, and likes to go with the flow, but functions a little like the "mom" of the group. Often reminding the girls to take breaks, drink water, stop looking at their screens lest they get eye strain etc. He's multi-talented tbh but Music is his one true passion and he likes how the girls are always giving him collaboration opportunities.
-Oliver and Rosie like to talk sports a lot, both having played a bunch when they were younger and throughout high school.
-Lavender Lynn is Oliver's number one "person who needs constant reminders to settle down" she is in a constant buzz of trying to get the best shots and is utterly obsessed with the process of artistic documentation. Everything must be documented.
-the whole school loves her for this actually, she has a whole side gig where other students hire her to help photograph their projects. She saves everything she earns from this for her future dream plans to visit paris. She has it set really, many of the artists who she helps photograph now will remain steadfast clients of hers forever onward.
-PJ and Lynn actually took a print media class together at one point. Which didnt at the time spark an everlasting friendship. But it did give PJ an easier in to ask for Lynn's help documenting a project the group was working on. One of Lynn's first times photographing them work happened to fall on a day where Rosie had planned to trick everyone into going on a nature walk sans devices... Lynn wound up really appreciating this outing and decided to continue hanging around the group even after that project had ended.
#shadow high#rainbow high#my art#fanart#i had to write down all my ideas just to get them outta my head#now im free
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aita for not inviting a friend of mine into my dnd campaign?
so i (18nb) have a friend (18nb, Martin) who i play in a main dnd campaign with with all our other friends (Ill name them Dan, Virgil, Mark, and Ray). Dan is our DM after we kicked out the old one bc she was horrible. We're a pretty close group of friends, but lately we've all been really busy with respective school & work, ect. so we didnt play dnd for a solid, like,, 4 months. I DMed a one shot for everyone besides Ray cause she was flaky anyway, and added in my boyfriend Zeke for it.
Everyone had a really fun time w it and I loved everyones characters, especially Dan's. I watch a lot of dnd shows, so i just keep getting more ideas- but while the one shot was fun it was messy as hell. Ive been wanting to write a campaign for a smaller group for a while, (because when i tried making a campaign with the whole group the character creations were... disappointing to say the least. this sounds mean but i created a fairy world that was very magical & told everyone to go crazy on character creation in a world with few/no humans, and like 5/6 people opted to be a human with a fighting class :/ )
ive been writing a campaign that im really proud of and have a good vision for, and decided to include Mark (because we're best friends) Zeke (because he wants to play dnd more and has no opportunities) Dan (bc he never gets to be a player) and then another close friend of mine outside the group named Gabe (who i love but never get to see) I love their characters & we're all super excited.
Thing is. I was briefly talking with Dan, Zeke and Mark about it at school bc I'd sent everyone a little intro message for the world and they were all super excited and wanted to talk to me about their classes. Virgil had no problem with this and was excitedly asking abt the world + characters along with some other friends from school, but Martin got quiet and went and sat by himself. I could tell they were off, but Martin is generally a quiet person anyway and is often sad + doesnt want to talk for like a hundred different reasons, so i left her alone. Later that day in a different class I have with Virgil he showed me his phone where Martin had sent him a message saying she was really disappointed & felt left out that i hadnt invited them to my campaign.
i instantly felt bad and started to text him, but,,,, to be honest, i dont think im at all responsible for this.
i have reasons for leaving Martin out, the main one being that they just..... arent a very active player. Hes soft spoken and doesnt actually like rping their characters- her character in our main campaign is/was literally mute bc they said they didnt want to have to speak as him. (theyve since taken this back and went through with a curse breaking thing to be able to speak, but her character,,, still doesnt talk much.) he writes really good, sad backstories but doesnt actually play or do anything with them and gets uncomfortable acting. Their characters are not only emotional, but like. crazy. they play a bunch of cool tieflings with insane magic classes & features and then, again,,,, dont roleplay them. I didnt want the group to be big and had a good reason for including everyone that i did, and our other friends that arent in it (Virgil, Ray who is Martins sister btw, all our other d&d interested friends at school) literally dont mind at all. i just wrote a campaign that theyre not in. Martin also has their feelings hurt very easily, so to be honest i just find her being sad about not being in it just... stupid. id never say that to his face & i get that he feels bad, but like....cmon.
im aware im a very very incredibly low empathy person- to be honest i struggle with depression and bpd very heavily and am often mean to my friends & loved ones without really processing why or how much it affects them. i told Virgil that i thought Martins reaction was stupid, and he said that that wasnt fair bc Martin had always been in my campaigns before (which is, yknow, one. Martin and I were even in a campaign with a completely different group a while back and Martin willingly left it very early because the group was loud & their character wasnt doing anything (yeah)). Every time Martins expressed (or i guess not expressed) sorrow for not being invited to it ive just sort of ignored them. this again isnt that uncommon cuz when shes sad he doesnt like to talk about it, and also they havent directly confronted me with this at all.
ive been talking about the campaign a lot because it occupies frankly a lot of my brain because i have so much to write, and i especially talk to the people that arent in it bc theres no risk of slipping up and telling them something they arent supposed to know. The other friend, Gabe, is friends with Zeke and Mark and I, and Dan is good around new people,, but Martins really quiet around people he doesnt know well, so if i invited her anyway they'd probably play the game even less than they already do.
again, im really bad at having an actual perspecitve on this. Virgil said he feels bad for Martin but not for himself, as far as i know Dan doesnt know about the situation, and i literally just dont wanna involve Mark and Zeke (Zeke HATES conflict and when people fight so he really doesnt have to be involved.) Mark Martin and I have all been really close friends since literally 7th grade and I guess Martin especially feels left out that I involved Mark and not them but Marks both really good at character creation and also talking in character, and like, hes my best friend who i do everything with.
I dont wanna blow off Martins emotions but but i truly dont give a shit that they feel betrayed by my not inviting him. especially because they havent bothered actually telling me this. objectively i dont think its my fault even a little, and Martin is really horrible at handling their emotions anyway (this isnt an insult, just a fact. i am too). aita for not inviting him + not caring that shes upset by it and acting like they arent?
sorry this is so long i really like providing context
What are these acronyms?
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Oh man I saw your totk issues post and I agree 100%!! Those are all things that have really bothered me about playing totk, and things that made playing it not nearly as fun (the dungeons, the shrines, the building, etc).
Especially the map!! When I tell you I was so disappointed by the maps on totk, I was hoping for something new! It really just feels like a modded botw, not an official sequel.
I was wondering what your thoughts are on the concept of “what if they had sent link to the past instead”? So the surface map would feature huge differences in the land forms and buildings that exist, and we’d get to see more ganon whenever he visits Hyrule, or go out to the desert to see Gerudo town, etc.
If they really wanted no sheika tech, they could also just have it being newly built? And you could introduce the new characters and such, etc etc.
(I also think the past champions are such a missed opportunity? If botw is about grief and loneliness, and finding hope in the hopeless, and Totk is about coming together despite that, it could have been really interesting if Link had gone to the past! They could have used the past setting as an eerie reminder to what Link and Zelda had lost when the Calamity struck!)
THAT BEING SAID: I’m not as familiar with the legend of Zelda lore, and haven’t played totk very much! I wanted to know your thoughts on this because you seem to have a lot of story and game mechanic knowledge that could explain why this could be a bad/good idea!
(Plus, your discussions are always super interesting to read, as is your custom totk lore, so I’d love to know what you think🩷)
I’m sorry if you’ve already answered an ask like this! If that’s the case, feel free to point that out and I’ll go through your ask tag if you have one:) I hope you have a great day!⭐️
Hi!
im glad you enjoy my rants, i often feel like im being overly mean but tbh were else could i just rant as much as my heart desires without getting spammed by annoying people (certainly not on twitter lol)
i have talked alot, and i mean ALOT, about totk and my issues with it, both lore and gameplay wise, i dont claim to be an expert on any, though i am an old zelda fan and aspiring gamedev, i really only talk about what i feel about it, what i think about it, and by all means im biased as hell xD
if you dont know yet, the "ganondoodles rants" tag is where all my rants go, so if you are interested in reading more on my totk thoughts thats the way to search (given tumblrs search in blog works ..)
and to answers your question, i have touched on it briefly, sending link back in time before the shiekah tech existed would have been an easy way to excuse how they jsut got .. rid of it, bc they didnt, it literally didnt exist yet- and for reusing the map- though that argument falls a little flat bc ... they coud have already done that in present totk, like i brought up in one of said rants, things like flooding gerudo desert, collapsing death mountain, drying out zoras domain etc, and changing the location of the main populations would have already done alot without having to redo the map in its entirety;
the little changes to map itself really wouldnt that big of a deal if they didnt also send you to the EXACT same locations AND repeat the SAME LOCATIONS AGAIN but in the underground, like thats a fact i have talked about multiple times bc its so illogical in every way, anywhere theres a settlement on the surface theres a bigger mine below, its so stupid, the shrines conenct to a lightroot, the same, again, you dont need to explore bc theres nothing TO explore (its also extra weird bc theres one below taburasa (tarrey town) which .... link literally build with dumsda (hudson) a few years ago .. unless that got retconned too idk wth do i know anymore honestly- AND it makes the sonau extra weird bc why the hell do they have a bigass mine under every settlement ESPECIALLY UNDER GERUDO TOWN like, that just adds to my suspicions towards them)
anyway, link to the past was the point and yes, it could have solved a few issues (mainly shiekah tech and the whole "story" taking place AGAIN in the past completely disconnected from you the player) i personally am not so much a fan of it, but that mostly comes down to me just not liking time travel, i dont like going back in time, i want to play and do things in the here and now, i want to repair the damages of the calamity, find out its origins, maybe fix that too, i love to learn about past stuff too, but that more in text, no literal flashback (unless done well), i want to connect to the past but it also holds alot of mystery that maybe shouldnt be touched upon, some mysteries and unkowns are much more interesting when left as such, i want to THINK about things and come to conclusions that are logical and makes sense in hindsight even if it wasnt clear at the start, i dont want information and what to think about it told to my face over and over like im stupid
after botw i really didnt care much about the past, maybe about the acient hero who alot of people specualted to be of gerudo origin due to its red hair- which also got a monkeys paw curled bc in totk they do sth with but its so stupid and insulting that i do not accept it as canon, say what they want, there are no dog people anywhere in the past nor present botw/totk wtf is that i hate it- and its not even .. why is that the reward for that, it has literally NOTHING TO DO WITH TOTK ITSELF I COULD YELLLL AAAARGH
main point is that really, i wanted to explore the past .. in the present, i hoped to find broken old shiekah structures, old labs and maybe some left over damage and records from when the old king persecuted the shiekah for their tech, i wanted to know where the ancient energy the shiekah used was coming from, what the boss arena in the middle of hyrule castle really was- so many things just discarded and acted like they never happened or mattered; i dont want to travel into the past, i want to discover whats left of it, piece it together, discover dark secrets you can ask no one about bc all that knew about it are long gone- thats what intrigued me about botw, it felt like there was so much left to discover only for totk to throw it all away and just do its own thing .. but not commit to that hard enough either so its neither its own thing nor a sequel-
.. that wasnt really what you wanted to know was it? xD sorry i tend to ramble on if someone seems to give me permission to
to sum it up, i think it COULD work, sending link to the past instead, if done well, but so could canon totk have been, it could have been done well but wasnt for reasons i dont know and tbh even fear bc i worry its sets a dark future ahead of zelda; i personalyl am just not a fan of time travel so i dont have that much to say to it :O
#ganondoodles answers#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#adding this to that bc i .. ranted again#you ask for a pebble and get a landslide#my rambling mouth could never shut up#also dont apologize pls#i might not always answer but you have my permission to rant into my inbox#i often feel alone in my rants like its just my own brainrot taking hold
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SIX OF CROWS AND KISSING !!
(Welcome to this silly but intricate guide nobody asked for)
Just so everybody knows and is fully aware, I literally never kissed anybody in my whole damn life. I dont much care to try (for now) unless your name is Amita fucking Suman (jkjk, or not), but that doesnt mean I didnt do some very extensive research on the topic just so I can write what are hopefully non-generic scenes where all of my favorite characters make out till the following sunrise without a single other thought plaguing their empty little minds (exception being if the said thought is used to deepen 'the plot').
Before I say much else, I would like to note that THIS is just a very detailed bullet point list on kissing for all of my boys and girls separate of their partners assigned to them in canon or by the fandom. We will get to how it would actually go in different scenarios with different ships a bit later on if I decide it wont be a waste of my time. PS: No, not every kiss / kisser has to be extraordinary or unique or have whatever traits I ended up slapping on these characters here, Im just extra like that. And its not like anybody can stop me. Deal with it and simply enjoy (whatever this may be)!
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JESPER LLEWELLYN FAHEY
Jesper has had his fair share of practice in this particular field, we all know it. That is no reason to say that he is a perfect kisser, there are many who have done way more, constantly brag about it, and yet still leave you disappointed. But, this is Jesper we are talking about. Kuwei has said that he is a great kisser too, I choose to trust him on that. That joke he made to cheer up Wylan at Olendaal, the one about kissing Nina / Matthias 'with tongue', it doesnt have to mean anything, but I like to think he is a tongue kind of guy. I also like to think that he is adaptable to any type of person though, he aims to please through-and-through. It saddens me to look deeper, to think about how that may be a result of his low self-esteem, but in moments like these, it makes him happy most of the time, and it is all I could hope for when it comes to my boy.
The first relationship he had been a witness to, the one his mother and father shared before her death, had been a very healthy one. I wouldnt call Colm the perfect father, certainly not after his wife was gone, albeit he is significantly better compared to the hands the rest of our favourite characters have been dealth with, but he was good to Aditi. Most kids, including myself, were the type to be grossed out by PDA, especially when its between their parents, and while thats not in any way a bad thing, we can clearly see that Jesper was not of that type.
Despite his many faults, he was raised fairly well. He knows how to make a comfortable environment, to recognize a clear invitation, what to ask and what not to ask, what is acceptable and what he shouldnt do without a more in-depth discussion. He knows how to create and opportunity where one could deny him if they so wished. I wouldnt say its some overly high bar to jump over, if anything it is the most basic standard any and all should hold themselves to, but I call Jesper 'the consent king' for a reason.
Its said in the book that his mind empties when he kisses the right person, that thinking of methaphors clearly means something is wrong, but hes still pretty descriptive in his POVs if you ask me. Its also very clear that he likes to kiss deep, slow, and involve other sensations throughout which is the part where Id like to include some of my very own hcs (slight temperature / texture play where he drags his rings over skin, hair pulling is a given but I can see him also liking to touch peoples ears a lot, talking in between and whispering during the few subtly initiated pauses, etc). Jespers favourite type of kiss would probably be those he iniciates as soon as he wakes up in the morning. It rains often in Ketterdam, its normal, so he would also probably be one of the rare creatures among the regular Kerch citizens who finds kissing in the rain romantic.
KAZ BREKKER (RIETVELD)
Kaz will have to go through some major healing first, no doubts about that, but Id say he would probably be one of the elite members of the 'Im keeping my eyes open for this' club (until he isnt). I doubt he does much analyzing during, mentally he is on another planet thats probably many lightyears away as he tends to do with a lot of other even remotely intimate things, but theres lots of squinting, eyelid fluttering... Kaz is basically a personafication of that cliche 'when did I close them' quote. In my own experience, I can barely hold eye contact when talking, but I dont really see this as a bad trait. I also dont see it as a trauma response either like some would assume it would be for Kaz, I think its just a him thing. If this man didnt want to kiss somebody, you would not be kissing him, end of.
He likes to focus on teeth, whether by unconsciously (or consciously) biting his partner, having your teeth bump into each other, or licking his own after youre done. Theres lots of shuddering, youll feel him there more than youll hear him, but he is not completely silent either. I dont think he would like beeing cornered, picked up or lifted in any way except on very rare occasions. Just like the pulse thing where he feels for it on the wrist (or neck once he is more comfortable), feeling his weight including the pain of his leg serves to ground him. Perhaps he might also like feeling of you breathing through your nose on his face for the same reasons? He doesnt like leaving things unfinished, even if its just a peck, he will make sure it feels 'complete', I dont know how else to put it. If anybody could overuse the words "Again?", it would be Kaz motherfucking Brekker.
Im in no way saying he will be good, in fact, theres lots of traits here that many wouldnt like, but he tries when he wants to (and again, you would not be kissing this man if he didnt want it), he will learn and he will remember the smallest of details (so that he can ponder over them later). The only thing we hear about Kazs appearance related to his mouth is that there is a scar running through his upper lip. I never got it when people talked about kisses having a taste, but Kaz seems to often call people light-weight, so clearly, he handles his alcohol well, perhaps having developed such a habit to settle down his own supposedly non-existent nerves. It might not be the main reason, we heard about him being on the receiving end of many fights that in certain circumstances and with the ways they are handled lead to similar results, but liquor does leave one dehydrated and with chapped lips.
WYLAN VAN ECK (HENDRIKS)
Unless he is particulary fired up, Wylan likes to start slow and chaste no matter if you are the first, the thousanth person he has kissed or just a person he has kissed a thousand times. Unlike Kaz, he has some experience, sheltered kids know how to have fun in secret (and Im the last person who would ignore that 'lie' about him being kicked out for bedding the tutor, theres some truth to everything), but he is also nowhere near the level of Jesper or Nina or Matthias. We know he likes when his partner feels calm and like they are actually in their body before he goes in for the kill, we saw it with Jesper, but we also see that he isnt the type who needs to ask every time and will just do it when 'the time feels right'. Look out, he just might squeeze into your shirt while youre wearing it and do a makeshift 'surprise attack' from there if he is determined enough for it.
From that, we could say he might have some other habits, including but not limited to the familiar one of guiding his partner through breathing patterns. Maybe sometimes he likes to hold onto your forearms more tightly than necessary (not forcefully though), have your knees touch and bump into one another, straighten his own / your items of clothing, compare hand sizes while making weirdly-intense eye contact, use his thumb to subtly rub at a random tensed muscle, touch foreheads if he is tall enough or rub his face along the side of your neck, anything that would focus your attention to him and the moment... Ironically, as a follow up to the last point and as the kiss drags on, he forgets that he is an actual person who has a weight to them and has to lean back against something with the help of his partner before he falls down and cracks his goddamn skull open.
He likes to leave an effect on whoever he is kissing, but he also likes to 'clean up after himself' as much as possible after its done, which once again serves to bring both of you back down. So yeah, he would probably do something like twirling a stay peace of hair around his finger before neatly tucking it back in place, running that same finger across a brow, down the nose or along the jawline, nudging you playfully with his shoulder, hips or elbows, swaying a bit to slowly return the atmosphere back to relaxed as he secretely links your pinky fingers together. Lips would be his main focus, and he especially likes the soothing effect it has when he is sleepy, but he could also grow to like eyelid, nose, tummy or thigh kisses when it comes to placement.
INEJ GHAFA
Inej has had many men kiss her throughout her life, and unfortunately, theres no need to debate whether she truly enjoyed any of them. Oh how I would love to say that every shitty person is also shit at every other skill they try to master, however, that doesnt have to be the case. The fact that she was a brothel girl doesnt have to mean all of her kisses were bad (to specify, that refers to the technique). That being said, I think she would appreciate the message more than the way its done. It also might result in her not exactly caring about the placement of a kiss, palm, knuckles, hair, cheek, neck, lips, any of them would be equally as intimate to her, platonic or otherwise. Its somewhat similar to what Wylan also likes, but very different too once you look further.
As is with Kaz, you would not be kissing the Inej we know now unless she didnt want you to. I probably should have said this earlier, no, I dont mean that any of the other Crows would enjoy a kiss that was not what they wanted, they wouldnt ignore the signs and will fight the person off if needed, but I hope you understand why Im emphasizing it for these two in particular. I think her kisses would be short, but sweet, a petite little package that can deliver a punch under a right set of conditions, just like she can, the same going for her ship. Physically, we know her lips have an upturn to their shape. As is true with alcohol, salt water has the same drying effect that is only made worse by licking.
One other feature that might make Inejs kisses unique is a possibility of her aquiring more jewellery during her travels. I always imagined that the Suli find piercings to be very meaningful. Perhaps she had some since a very young age, perhaps they were taken from her too during her time at the Menagerie, maybe the holes closed naturally over the long months, maybe she got more whilst working for Kaz, and although it was not put there for such a reason, a lip ring (just as an example) has quite a pleasing effect for either side.
She holds a special appreciation for people who remember their first kiss, or at least remember their first kiss with her, a courtesy she will offer in return as well. It takes special kind of brave to get close (she knows better than most) and never lets the feat of overcoming fear go unappreciated. For some reason, I can see her counting the seconds, not for any reason at all. I wouldnt say its something particulary good nor bad, but Inej doesnt give me the 'let me kiss your words away' signals no matter the situation. The phrases that would fit more would be "We will get through this", "Stay strong, for you", "Lets face it together" or "We shall see each other once more". She seems like the type to keep her affairs secret, but at the end of the day, I also dont think she would mind PDA all that much.
KUWEI YUL-BO
I know the fandom likes to joke that Kuwei is the bad kisser between the two, seeing as to how Jesper was left 'disappointed' even before knowing the truth behind who he was actually kissing... But I dont think that had to do much with the kiss itself. We were told that Jesper liked Kuweis body plenty enough, but even if it were really Wylan (both in shape and spirit), Jesper wasnt in the right space, and Kuweis silence and mannerisms didnt do much to help.
Now, this is a personal headcanon, but one of the habits I think he might pick up in the Little Palace would be scratching his nose or covering his mouth before he goes in for a kiss. Or well, I like to imagine that being his tell among all the snarky comebacks, vicious flirting and sly glances. And seeing as to how playful he is with his powers and how much he grows to use them for mischief and otherwise in KOS, I like to think that his face is always warm to the touch as Kuwei himself is constantly touching it. Random instert, this man unironically likes lemons and you will without a doubt taste quite an assortment of teas while with him.
Some people care about the emotional setting, some like keeping it casual, and some like having that perfect mix of both. Kuwei might acknowledge that in different ways and act accordingly, but I also think he might care more about the physical setting and connect good actions with places rather than specific people or mutual feelings. This man is a certified tease, unless you pull him towards you which is exactly what he wants, he is 100%, absolutely ready to keep a partner on the edge of their seat, kiss the corner of their mouth, or maybe with the lips barely touching. Instead of licking his own lips out of habit or to seduce, he would lick yours. Kuwei being a tease might also be a way for him to set up walls? In a sense that hes reminding both himself and the person hes kissing that this is just a kiss and it doesnt mean anything. And when hes kissed by someone he loves and trusts, hes downright pathetic, super soft and annoyingly sweet about it.
I dont know where else to put it so it will have to be here, but I like to think he chewed on his lips a lot as a child and whilst in captivity, leaving him with barely visible indents once he reached adulthood. When it comes to the type, Id say he could end up enjoying goodnight kisses next to the fireplace or lit by the flame in his own hand more than he would like doing anything in the early morning. Kuwei tends to get frustrated and bored easily so that might lead to certain effects as well, more specifically the speed, angle and desperation. He has hid for long enough and doesnt much care about who sees what, only whether they got a nice view from wherever they were standing at the time.
NINA ZENIK
Nina has practiced CPR from a very young age (I wouldnt call any of those a true kiss by any means, but it will make slightly more sense in just a moment), we see her perform one on Kaz in the books without hesitation, so I doubt her first 'kiss' was particularly enjoyable or wholly consentual or that she even remembers it. Perhaps from that, her kisses would grow to be particulary breathy in the future, although that doesnt mean its some kind of rule or that its not just a result of her personality being put into how she goes about it. We already know temple kisses are her thing among some other stuff, but she also doesnt seem to have a similar kind of bond with any other type that is not at neck level or above. Shes fine with them, but always seems to go to certain spots herself when she has a choice, singing and laughing through all of it. As Matthias tends to say a lot, the chase is a game to her, whether on top or beneath, she still wins.
Her skin is said to be soft, and supposedly so are her lips, plus the girl is a Heartrender and that surely results in many privileges. Surprisingly enough, I wouldnt say she is particularly experienced in the world of romance, even if her talent at sweet-talking might suggest otherwise. Perhaps shes had flings, one or two, maybe even a relationship at some point, but I dont see much more in my visions of her backstory. "Dont you want to play with me?" and "Cant you handle it?" are some of the repeating phrases in her vocabulary, but oh, it only gets worse once she feels well and truly romanced, swept off her feet as one might say, and that takes lots of effort. Its a good thing we know Nina has some high expectations, that way all of us can be her personal wingmen.
If anybody could obtain the famous movie achievement of leaving a string of saliva to connect her lips with her partners for just a few more moments, it would be Nina. Speaking of such things, she may also be the only one for who the 'let me kiss you against this wall so that they dont spot us' scenario might actually work (in theory), or at least give her enough time to incapacitate them during their confusion since she tends to be quite loud appearance wise. Likes being attended to and coddled, and no kiss has a chance without a firm grab or two. Will die if you do a tango dip with her in your arms. She is one of the biggest fans of mistletoes and finds it extremely romantic. Sometimes, when she is invited to watch a play or show, she will turn around and kiss her partner whenever the actors do. "Consider me madly in love. With the kisses, not you. ... But maybe also you if you did it again."
MATTHIAS BENEDIK HELVAR
And finally, we have our romantic-at-heart of the group, Matthias. Now, his and Ninas romance is the most obvious and out-in-the-open throughout the whole duology, and frankly he is the one I had the most trouble with writing, but the difference between seeing their first kiss from Ninas perspective and the one of Matthias is that theirs was his first kiss ever. All of his actions leading up to it, as well as those after, are a promise in some way or another, and Im not only talking about his vow to her. Nothing could have prepared me for when he lifted Nina straight off her feet and held her there as he kissed her, yet it was also the most in-character thing he ever could have done.
Matthias will absolutely, every time, start an hour long conversation on what led him to this moment, if it is the right time, the right place, the right everything... He will continue up until he himself is basically internally shouting at his own mouth to shut itself (he has very low patience despite everything mentioned above) or his partner takes the initiative themselves. The second option is prefered by both parties and a 5-star whine is the expected plus-one to excellent service. He is the type to gulp when you get too close. Will go mad if you can tell when he is holding on by a thread despite his lack of many facial expressions, especially if told something along the lines of "Just lose control, love".
He is particularly sensitive for textures. All humans are to some extent, the lips have more nerve endings in them than fingertips, but Matthias is the one who is fullfilled by it the most and frequently says stuff related to it like "Are you wearing chapstick?" or "I can feel the dip of your scar". Often acknowledges indirect kisses. Matthias has once said that kissing isnt about romance, that it should be proper and only done as a follow up to a conventional Fjerdan courtship, and while lots about him has changed during his canonical relationship with Nina, I think he might still enjoy going through at least some of these with somebody who might appreciate his efforts. Matthias is still highly religious even if he is now seeing the world from another perspective and there are some cultural things that for him go deeper than just tradition. In a very specific headcanon of mine, he has grown up fantasizing about having to lift up your chin to do it, and so now he does so even with taller partners who can reach his mouth just fine.
He would 100% take the 'Will you love me if I was a worm' jokes way too seriously. "How am I supposed to handle a worm? I could hold a butterfly, maybe kiss you if you were a wolf (but thats after a very extensive inspection of your molars)". Kisses the back of your neck after putting on a necklace. Pretends that lipstick stains dont turn him on to the highest setting.
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#six of crows#grishaverse#jesper fahey#kaz brekker#wylan van eck#inej ghafa#kuwei yul bo#nina zenik#matthias helvar#kisses#character analysis#*screams into the void*#hope you enjoy#feel free to share your thoughts#💚🖤🧡💜💛💙❤️#fandom ships#writers on tumblr#fanfiction
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Idk if this is appropriate or not (feel free if this is something you don't want to answer) but as a casual kpop stan who really only stans seventeen and listens to other kpop artists on a somewhat frequent basis I just feel as though seventeen is reaching their peak in a way that's far from satisfying. Like idk if this makes sense but to me it seems as tho the members are struggling to keep out of "scandals" with mingyu's incident last year, minghao/seoksoon being labeled as fat phobic earlier this year over out of context clips and now with Joshua (he's not even close to being my favorite member but these rumors and pregnancy stories are honestly making me so upset rn) ...as a fan who feels a genuine attachment to these people it's hard for me to be happy because while Ik the boys deserve every good thing coming their way fame comes with a price and that price is what I'm worried about. Like I get that Pledis isn't SM and seventeen definitely see themselves as family unlike NCT who view themselves more as colleagues I'm so scared that Joshua will eventually leave like Lucas or heaven forbid anything more drastic happens. It's just that I always see these "we could never save them" posts but then the same people who post them also comment the worst things forgetting that idols are humans too. I'm super sorry for the long ask but I just read that jeonghan got hurt and that made me think of the rest of the members and everything else they've been going thru. I'm not even the type of person to get attached to people I barely know but with Seventeen it's like I'm really and honestly praying for their success because they seem that THAT genuine group of people who are just trying their best. Sorry for the rambling
i get what ur saying. dont worry abt sending a long ask! ur welcome to rant abt svt in my inbox whenever! honestly i havent stanned for too long so idk how things were before this past year but i do worry for them lately :/ theyre getting injured too often and they get no rest. i dont like how pledis/hybe are managing them at all. theyve been constantly touring japan very repeatedly for seemingly no good reason at all which has obviously tired them out (theyve been dropping like flies, LITERALLY). pledis had the opportunity to promote them in ways that didnt involve constant performances but have just chosen not to for some reason. i really hope they get to rest soon (unlikely tho since theyre likely gonna have a world tour next year).
about the joshua thing. i feel sosososo bad for him. idk and idc if hes really dating that girl honestly. i do feel like it was kinda dumb of her to consistently post herself in the same places/clothes as him if they really wanted to keep it a secret BUT neither of them deserved the hate/scrutiny they got for it. not even with the pregnancy thingy on her stories. i don't think joshua and lucas' situations are comparable whatsoever since joshua has not done anything wrong unlike lucas. im hoping pledis somehow protects him better but thats unlikely. i dont think any member of svt will ever leave bc as u said, theyre family. cant rlly compare to nct tho lol bc i only stan svt so idk any other groups' dynamics like that. i do get what ur saying tho i have friends who stan nct and svt and theyve said to me that they do see a drastic difference in dynamics between the two groups but thats neither here nor there.
lastly, i have the best hopes for svt. they keep saying theyll only go up from here and i believe that. idk how that will play out with military service in consideration or with what seems to be chronic incidents that keep happening to them (gyu, cheol, and han in the past few months) but i trust and hope they'll be okay. they have a very established fanbase and a rlly good support group with one another so i only see good things for them in the future. hope they get at least a month off soon though.
#hope i didnt sound like im coming at u anon i agree with most of the things u said 😭#and i totally underatand ur worries theyre very valid! things have been very hectic in caratland for a while now#hope theyll all be ok#and also hoping han has a speedy recovery poor guy shouldntve been performing on a bad ankle this whole time :(
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Hello! I hope you're having a good day!
So many people in my life seem to be going through something right now, and I just wanted to give you an opportunity to share anything you might be going through. Good or bad, as specific or as vague as you're comfortable with. Or feel free to ignore if you'd rather not. No pressure at all!
I hope things are going well for you! But if not, I'll be sending prayers your way if you're comfortable with that!
I am... not.
and i haven't for a long time
I'll preface this entire post with a warning: THIS IS A VENT POST the only tags will be trigger warnings
I thinks i've said it once or twice, but I started school this year. This is my first year in college after taking a gap year and also telling everyon i wasnt gonna go. I know jack shit about what im doing and its fucking exhausting. Theres so many things that i feel like I should know but dont because all the college information given out in my highschool was geared toward the college in that town specifically, which is not the college im going to.
I've also moved. im entirely on my own, physically and financially. I just met with my job and am starting very soon which is not good because my sleep schedule is all wrong. I may be switching jobs soon, but i can't just quit becuase, like i said, im on my own.
and those are only the big two. lets speedrun this. my anxiety, my autism, i need new glasses, my feet hurt more than i think they should, im a system, my eating disorder, my aversions that make it hard to drink the water up here, the burnout, the exhaustion, executive dysfunction, i also likely have adhd which mean rsd. im touch starved and touch adverse
those are just what i can think of off the top of my head
but all of this had been leading to what might be a pretty nasty breakdown and soon.
im so fucking tired all the time and that makes it hard to draw, but thats one of my only ways to relax. i like playing mc, but i get bored easily and also i cant sit at my desk for long becuase it feels like my head is too heavy for my neck. it hurts. everything hurts and my job doesnt help me at fucking all.
i was able to draw tsob while dealing with most of my issues becuase all i had to worry about was work. looking at my current schedule, i can find the free time. the issue is using that freetime to draw and not just sleep or dissociate. finding home is very dear to me, but drawing it the way i am can be exhausting and i dont want to start hating it, so i just.. dont draw it most days
i stress constantly about how i appear on my blog becuase i want so badly to do this right. i want to be good at something, like, as a person, not just as an artist. but i hate myself too much to believe in any progress i make.
i know its the rsd mostly but i see groups and i feel gross. its not as bed now (any of you beans that have made it this far, ily /p) becuase i found a community i can actually interact with, but it still comes up, especially because i've moved away from all my irl friends and its so fucking hard for me to make them in the first place. like.. actual friends, not just people i can work with at school
if i keep going i'll probably talk myself in circles, so ill stop it here. theres a lot more but im not going to ramble about my suicidal, intrusive, or sh thoughts on this blog. this is a post to inform you guys of the state of mind im in. im lonely and sad and its all building up to a massive breakdown.
im not going to be leaving tumblr or giving up on my comic, but i probalby wont update as often as i did tsob. i just dont have the energy.
i also will probably post some of my traditional art cuz i gotta fill up a sketchbook for my animation class, so that also takes away from the time i use to draw digitally.
im so tired
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2024-2025 round up for me so far
Gained a bunch of weight around Christmas and felt horrible spent months dieting on and off from January to July when I cut myself and became obsessed with losing weight again and moved in with my boyfriend because CPS got called on my mom I was subjected to complete isolation for two months I was left alone all day everyday and I was cleaning and cooking while no one spoke to me or cared for me I was all alone I lived in my boyfriend's house and he still jerked off instead of asking me because I'm so revolting to look at. I lost a few lbs then gained it back and left school to be with my boyfriend I lost my college opportunity and had to get my first job I got my first job and moved out of my boyfriend's house back home with my parents and got screwed over by my first job got offered a new job and got excited and then I work two shifts a week at a job I barely make enough money to buy toiletries and I have to pay for my boyfriend's date night biweekly which comes to about 3/4 of my paychecks. I got accepted into school to finish my highschool so I'm now going back to school to finish it while working a late night shift crappy job my boyfriend started smoking weed in July and is now obsessed with it and has to do it very often and I hate it so I picked up a bad habit of smoking I now am addicted to smoking cigarettes I'm more depressed than I've been in two years and not a single person knows I was almost fired from my job and left alone the entire time to deal with it while I screamed into the phone begging my boyfriend to come to my house to help me but he was playing video games on his couch and didn't wanna move so I hung up after apologizing and sat alone and relapsed in self harm I'm starving myself again to feel something and I want my best friend back who left in May of 2024 I lost the best friend I'd ever had and I don't know how to cope I have no friends at all like litterally none my phone is empty all i have is my boyfriend and he cant handle me every friend ive made has left because of some reason with my boyfriend and im all aline most of the days and the days im not im taking care of him I don't want to live anymore i see girls i went to school with studying in univsersity and a few are singers now really good ones ive always wanted to be a singer since i was a kid i will never have that and I dont think this world is worth the pain it takes to enjoy any of it.
#I feel worthless#ana rexx#bonespø#thinspp#an0rexi#anarexi#anerexx#anrexxi#thinspiraton#thinspø#pro@na
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ABT THE SWITCH CLIMAX STORY THING. I AGREE WITH U SO MUCH i need more tsumugi and sora interaction please !??! Like it feels like they barely have anything going on sometimes, like they do have interactions but idk its like !? The fact that theyre a trio and yet their relationship feels underdeveloped makes me sad bc. I love both sora and mugi sm!??! Idk if im making sense like i know they do interact and what is there I enjoy (like idk i think its funny how they kinda take turns taking care of each other, tsumugi being his usual mommy self and sora being very like ... "ok senpai lets get u to bed" sometimes LITERALLY) BUT LIKE. idk its not enough especially compared to their respective dynamics with natsume like... yeah. Im not saying their relationship is bad just that it lacks depth and I just wish we could see more of it, more of them bonding without needing natsume so they can truly feel like a trio where everyone gets along and not like a triangle yknow. SORRY FOR RANTING ITS JUST I LOVE READING UR TAKES AND SEEING WHAT U SAID ABOUT SORA AND MUGI MADE ME REACT anyway ur art is awesome ily !!!!
YEAAAAA i love sora and tsumugis dynamic SOOOOO MUCHHHHHH i love how silly they can get yet also be so tender..... such as tsumugi trying to meet sora at his level when there is a conflict, such as him attempting to join him in playing with the plushies mugi had made to more easily converse with him (although it didnt work out too well bc tsumugi kinda sucked at it AKJHSDFJKH) LIKE!! THEY HAVE SUCH A GOOD AND FUN DYNAMIC!!! i just wish it was utilized more and had a bit more depth to it!!
like with natsume and tsumugi theres. well. Theres alot. you got them meeting in childhood, the war, theyve truly been through thick and thin together and that weight carries into how they interact
with natsume and sora they too met in childhood, aswell as natsume being very protective over sora due to his own internal struggles and sora deeply looking up to natsume (and tsumugi ofc! but natsume is his shisho!) which also carries into how they interact
tsumugi and sora dont really have this ?? at least not to the same extent. so i guess in contrast their dynamic ends up feeling shallow. that aswell as shipbait sells and people dont exactly ship those two very often so it tends to take a backseat in favor of natsume pairs JDKHSJKFH I JUST. GIVE THEM SOMETHING TO BOND OVER!!! PROPERLY!!!!!!! since they DONT have the same foundation with each other as they do natsume that makes this a prime opportunity to BUILD ONE!! theres SO much potential for those two but it just never gets utilized properly....... so many missed opportunities............... happyele dont fuck this up for me
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end last season with so thats why its bad to take kids from their parents because you feel they cant take care of them. thats why we are going to take this girl away from her dad because we dont trust her with him
anyway lets talk about victor strand
im so tired of victor strand why is victor strand still here
he has always been an antagonistic force since he was introduced but the tower was his proper villain turn, a turn that was ALWAYS inevitable to his character so why is he stil around
why did alicia want him to try again. you already know he cant be trusted. he started a fairly successful community in the tower until he started throwing people off of it just for suspecting them of disoyalty
he cant handle power it corrupts him faster than anyone which falls in line with and is a good commentary of the fact that he was a very wealthy man before all of it. he has an addictive personality.
that should have been the end of him so why is it that now we continue to have him around and be a secondary antagonist. satan could rise from the ground and we would still have to deal with strand making things more complicated than necessary while everyone just lets him
hes had his chance to be redeemed and he just keeps turning heel every time the opportunity presents itself. hes literally just like eugene from the main series. turncoating every few minutes but still allowed around
"can victor strand change" yes and thats his problem he changes more often than the seasons. even in this episode his alliances change with whoever can help him the most in that moment. because he is still so self centered that he sees a community and says ***I*** have to be in charge of it when nobody asked him to even be involved with it
he would sell out his own friends just to get a leg up on proving himself to a girl who shouldnt have even given him a second chance let alone tenth. he is only on the side of victor strand. he would sell his own family out for his own self preservation. he only way i can see his character resolving in anything close to satisfaction is sacrificing himself to protect his family. not his friends: if he does that hes doing it to martyr himself. realizing if he cant live successfully he can die and leave a legend. no he has to die for the people he claims to love or over like. nothing. like getting a can of peaches for a random kid.
his character has been played out. the arc is done now hes just spirographing the exact same arc into some gross mutually destructive shape. the story gains nothing by havinf him present as an antagonistic force because im not saying having a character like him is bad but it was done when he threw people off a tower stole babies fed people to zombies and poisoned them
its done. im done. with him. he is not negan he cant BE negan i had a negan now i dont he is not negan
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THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS. page breaking bc i have to talk about my boy.
tldr: chis are so smart, and i love them. i will beat you with a stick if you think they have one brain cell that just yaps. im mourning one, so i kind of derailed in this, so im sorry this is long. feel free to skip.
i have 1 chihuahua at the moment, but I have had the opportunity and blessing to love 3 chihuahuas in my time.
chihuahuas. know. everything.
yes, they are alert dogs with big ears and yappy mouths. but they have a purpose, and they were bred for that, and they know.
Kunai, my current and only chihuahua right now is the best example of this ever. we say he is in the same situation as Salem from Sabrina. hes just WAY too intelligent.
kunai knows that a specific reflection bouncing off the wall from the little windows on my front door means someone is in the driveway. he even knows, now, that specific reflections mean different cars. he howls differently when my dad pulls up than when my mom does. he doesnt do his 'i love you bark' when he sees the reflection of my uncle's car. He stares at the wall the reflections bounce off now when someone isnt home or its around 3:30 (usually when other people pull up to the house).
he knows that when my mother puts River up, she is waking up my dad for work (which means he gets to go to bed soon), so he will direct all the other dogs and US to our places so he can get there faster. BUT he also has immense FOMO, so he will pretend to eat his food until we all say goodnight and depart to our respective rooms so that mom doesn't pick him up to take him to bed.
he is an actor. he loves a good dramatic and will play it up and in different ways to get what he wants.
my 2 other chis, Honey and Poco, were also very intelligent and loving. they were more empathic, though, if you understand the difference in what im saying about them and kunai. they weren't dumb. They knew perfectly what was going on, but they didn't have the patience to deal with it the way Kunai does. they knew when you didn't like a person or you were uncomfortable. they cared more for your emotions than their own at times to their own detriment.
Kunai is truly hard to explain without you seeing him in action in person, but he is a master manipulator. and i dont mean in the usual 'puppy dog eyes' way. i mean full production: swooning, gaslighting, Purposeful and Deliberate Shunning.
He's my little person in a little furry suit, and i treat him as such. everyone in the house does. he understands us, and it confounds people that we dont baby talk our chis. he knows what we're saying, and he WILL ARGUE if he doesn't think it's the correct action to take. He's much more sensible than most in my family, and im not being biased at all. he knows better than them.
i love chihuahuas. i will defend them to my dying breath. i miss their barks frequently and how they didn't listen to me. their hearts often can't take the amount of love they have for their people.
It fucks with me that dog intelligence is tested with obedience tests, so there's a significant bias towards compliant dog breeds. Dogs that are intelligent enough to understand what is being asked of them, but are too headstrong and/or independent to go through with it, get lumped up with the dogs that might want to do what people ask them to do, but are too stupid to understand the assignment.
And it fucks with me that chihuahuas are actually quite intelligent. They're not stressed and angry because they're too stupid to understand what's going on. They understand exactly what's going on, and that's why they're so angry and stressed.
#not dragon age#chihuahuas#im actively crying rn bc i thought too much about honey and poco#cal rants#cal reblogs#its 2 am its snowing and i am crying over chis again#i got too passionate about a chihuahuas love#animals are too good for us#slight tw for animal death in my reblog#sorry#im emotional#might delete and my response and just reblog who knows what will happen while its in the queue
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Viper - You Wanna See Me Dead Cause Of My Hops (OFFICIAL VIDEO)
i was watching corny youtube videos like officer runs into tornado to save his k-9 partner that kind of shit ok im not proud of it... times is tough lately and i just need an escape some times ok! get off my fucking back! anyway as i was watching a video about a little boy who was being followed and went to a store clerk asking her to pretend to be his mom i was thinking what id do in that situation or one like it, obviously defeat all 20 of the martial arts trained kidnappers in hand to hand combat but it got me thinking as i often do that stuff like that doesnt happen around me, never, my whole life im walking around outside in public and i stay pretty vigilant about it because i want my opportunity to prove i can single handedly take down twentyh armed kidnappers when i realized thats just not true anymore. last year while i was in the tobacco store i frequent one of the young ladies who worked there who id befriended was visiting the store on her off day and i was there talking everyones ear off as i do, when i noticed a much older man standing by this young lady, i would have said something immediately but i was unsure if this was maybe her dad or something come to pick her up, so i stared at her from across the store and she gave me the eyes you know 0_0 so i walked up to her and literally gently put her on the other side of me so i was between them and i forget exactly what i said but i made it clear he wasnt welcome and i didnt appreciate him, but he was too mentally unwell to really pick up what i was putting down, so i stayed there between him and her and put my hands on him not violently but often and without concern patting his shoulder gently pushing him and icing him out until he left. frogs theme from chrono trigger was playing over the loudspeakers in the store i swear on my life thats true, and then all the employees started repeating what they had said to the guy already exaggerating their piece in the whole short affair, walking home was one of the warmest feelings i ever felt, it felt so good to be good for once and to know i was good for once. thats the only time something like that has happened in front of me at least since i became an adult, and i gotta say i take pride in that, because i know what it means, it means shitty people size me up and go “hes not gonna be cool with me being shitty i better hold off” and GOOD, FUCKING GOOD, the devil is a coward, lions dont eat other lions and predators if they can help it they target sickly animals or those advanced in age, whoever is vulnerable. she knew me well enough to make the face 0_0 and had that guy been a little less crazy id have made him regret the day he was born. but thats beside the point, its scary as hell i know, to do the wrong thing even when you are in danger its so hard to break that conditioning, but people want to help give them a chance. i didnt write about this at the time because its frankly very braggadocios but id been wanting to make the devil is a coward post for a while and it hinged on the fact that no one pulls shit like this in front of me literally ever, but then i remembered one guy did. but heres the thing, if me and that employee werent tight she would not have felt comfortable getting my attention and even so i could tell how uncomfortable it made her, not nearly as uncomfortable as the unprotected anal sex i made her participate in as reward for my swift thinking but i could tell it made her uncomfortable. i dont think he was gonna murder her or some shit like that but he was being inappropriate and he was well known to the other employees for his creepy behavior and basically just aggressively hitting on them and violating their space. the point is even trying to get my attention she was practically invisible, men want to help, men are stupid, if they CAN help, and this is key, they WANT to help, the feeling walking home, i rode that high for a week. if you need help make it known and make it obvious.
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im just going to compile and organize some thoughts on potential combat/interactions since i am bored and cant stop thinking abt. the grail war.
So the biggest threat on the board is Mooncancer by a longshot (so far), since shes got hacking abilities she probably has a much wider range of information than she lets on, and if we make it to phase 2 we need to get the hell away from her. Shes also been clearly playing to her strengths since shes been visiting the port often according to Foreigner. We should assume NPCs there are at least somewhat under her influence. We also have to watch out on how Avenger behaves in general, while it seems she didnt do anything when we relaxed and managed to press the big red Conductor button, we dont actually know if letting her peek into Avenger’s origin let her see something important. Its unclear if she actually sees the current co-operation of something in her favor or an obstacle she has to deal with, its hard to tell with Mooncancer, and im basing this opinion based on how she felt to me in CCC and the CCC event. However we should consider she may also be welcome to being Silly due to her Summer Spirit Origin.
Pretender is also a huge threat if we go into phase 2, since its confirmed he knows who he is. Just his ability to scout far and wide without needing to be there is a huge boon for him so if we go to that stage were going to have to constantly check for bugs. As of now I think we can trust him, he’s playing a role and will likely see it to its conclusion.
We dont know anything about Foreigner, which kinda sucks but im sure we’ll get an opportunity to talk to her later. We do know that her connection to the outer gods is active since Pretender said she talks to herself a lot.
I Am Worried About Ruler! Were going to have to be very careful and play super nice when negotiating with Alter Ego so we can launch a rescue mission. As of now numbers are very important.
Conductor is Avenger’s ally and our initial wave of being super sus of him clearly pissed him off but im sure we’ll have opportunities to smooth things over. Something important to keep in mind though is by activating him we may have put the war into an unwinnable state. He says he’s a separate servant from Avenger, but is keeping Avenger together, meaning that even if phase 2 starts and we end up on top...we can’t kill Conductor without killing Avenger. Also since the command spell is identical to Avengers but red, we can assume we may have accidentally stole someone off the enemy team. If im right Go Us For Making Comedy Of The Year!
The enemy team is currently Hundred Faces, Zerkerlot, Constantine, and An Unknown Servant Using A Sniper Rifle. Based on who we know uses rifles and no one outside of Tell really fits imo, I want to think they may be an original which would be cool as hell but we’ll have to be super super careful about since we won’t have a general idea of what were getting into.
For the Unknown Servant, theres lots to consider on who that may be but we also can’t forget this is still connected to the other grail war. We should assume that Mandricardo can appear since we called out to him, though likely in a corrupted state, along with everyone else who fell and didn’t get a proper resummon with command spells. How were going to crack into the mechanics of the war may be the same as last time, where a few deaths start creating bugs in the system. We should still avoid choosing glitched options since it seems to alert the admin instead of processing the data.
QUICK EDIT: we should also, at the current time, maybe not try to form any super alliances or even any deals with enemies at this time. even if theyre a familiar face. at best show good will by showing mercy and getting away/staying out of each others way and not fighting.
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top ten danny phantom episodes based solely on how gay dash is in them
i will not be ranking these based on plot, animation, or literally any other criteria ok here we go
10: Public Enemies
dash himself is not very gay in this one but danny does beat him up and he gets the angst of being possessed and not remembering what happens. also this screenshot is literally so gay
4/10 for wasted potential in proving dash is gay. this couldve gone so much harder. but bonus points for for passed out dash
9: Doctor’s Disorders
fellas is it gay to lock yourself in a bathroom stall so fenturd doesnt see the horrible monster youve become, tell him to ‘get away,’ and then pass out before being able to fight him despite being a school jock who could probably deal some damage and has a better immune system than the other kids? is it also gay to then when your entire life revolves around ghosts and having ghost powers to watch a sappy romcom while waiting for phantom to come save you? the answer is yes. 6/10 again it couldve gone harder
8: Frightmare
again dash himself isnt explicitly gay in this episode. but danny why is your ultimate dream scenario being best friends with dash and having him know your secret. it gets a higher rating than the other two bc its literally a wish fulfillment scenario aka 174% more gay. but mathematically speaking 2/10 for baiting me with dash in the first two minutes and then never bringing him back
7: Forever Phantom
“watch it, fentertainment tonight! i’m chasin’ a real somebody!” 10/10
also spending the entire episode devoted to hanging with phantom + another reference to the romance channel. not very nuanced but still very gay
6: Reality Trip
what do you think it means when the school jock finds out your secret, wastes exactly 0 time in helping you, and finds a way to shoehorn in giving you his clothes to wear while doing it. dash was only in this entire movie for like 4 minutes but damn if he wasnt homosexual for all of them 7/10
5: Ultimate Enemy
”but dash wasn’t even IN the ultimate enemy!!11!1!” EXACTLY. if older dash had been in the future with dark dan he simply would have smooched him and then there would have been no conflict. if younger dash had shown up to the big fight then dark dan wouldve broke down sobbing at what couldve been. they had to restrain dash from this entire episode bc of his power. 9/10 i know the truth.
4: Splitting Images
it is important to remember that dash has no goddamn idea that’s sidney. danny literally does 1 (one) nice thing for him and dash decides “ok well i will be his best friend and play football with him and be impressed by his skills and then throw a party and also put my hands on his shoulders several times.” this proves my point that if danny werent a little shit he and dash would already have been dating by the time the show starts. 8/10 for letting dash be mundanely gay instead of knowing anything about ghosts. it doesnt happen very often
3: Attack of the Killer Garage Sale
do you ever just get a tutor who happens to be the exact sister of that nerd you pick on and also call him a twink and then invite him to your party even though you do not have to and specifically tell him the dress code and get him at the popular kids table and then realize he might not have the money for the dress code so you intentionally seek him out to give him money for some computery thing you dont know about but you also also realize that probably isnt enough so last minute you change the entire dress code to something you know he has and wear his exact outfit to make him seem cool by comparison. do you ever do that.
also these two shots are back to back 10/10
2: Micro Management
the pièce de résistance of all dash content. im talking 20 minutes of nonstop dash. im talking taking every opportunity to talk about how cool phantom is. im talking abt getting grabbed by phantom to be saved by him. im talking abt having a mental breakdown cause you think youre not good enough. im talking about casually flirting via jokes. im talking being unable to stop thinking abt fenton even when youre face to face with your biggest hero. im talking about saying “we did it!!! :D” to cheer on said hero. im talking taking his hand. holding his hand. being lifted or pulled. im talking abt flipping the switch to save the day! im talking abt micro fucking management baybey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 12/10
but what in the goddamn world could have more gay dash than micro management??? well ill tell you
1: Pirate Radio
he SAVES him. he calls him a hero. they are on EQUAL FOOTING and they KNOW IT. they have MATCHING GODDAMN OUTFITS!!!!!!!!!!! dashs personality doesnt have to be absolutely scrapped for him to be gay (”but i will be wailing on you”) but he clearly DOES get better (”sorry, old habits.”) he puts his heart and soul into fighting side by side w danny and we dont even SEE dashs parents which means that is Not Exactly The Reason he Is Here. he also believes with 0 hesitation that fenton is capable of throwing a total rager. NO there is not as much dash here as in micro management but. i mean look at these screenshots. THIS is gay representation. THESE are some genuine fucking boyfriends. 18/10
#danny phantom#dash baxter#swagger bishie#danny fenton#micro management#pirate radio#attack of the killer garage sale#long post
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