#but like has been worse yknow
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Kiss kiss kiss mwah kiss mwah marry me
#cookie run#cookie run fanart#cookie run fandom#cookie run: ovenbreak#ananas dragon cookie#kinda sad that this did so much worse than my other art on twt#bc I'm so much more proud of this than the candy apple or princessknight drawing#but like has been worse yknow#so for relatively small things like this I just gotta go 🤷#this isn't life ruining. perseverance n shit gang#and if theres less ananas fans that means more of them i get to myself AHA#i win
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Can I be real honest and admit how much it saddens me that Instagram doesn’t even let me check if my friends or mutuals liked a post or story without slapping me with “insights” and how good or bad I’m doing regarding my content. I? Don’t care? God forbid I just want to share drawings or funny stories just for the heck of it . why does everything have to be about your account’s performance.
#pix habla#being a people pleaser and struggling with being good enough makes this worse for me#not right now I’m doing so much better really#but it makes me sad to the point of tears this is all that matters#I miss simpler times when it was just about sharing stuff with friends or people who’d enjoy it#I also made the mistake of opening comments on popular posts and it’s all just ? complaints ? people asking for more and complaining when#it doesn’t cater to what they want#I’m really tired 👉👈 idk#it just feels like keeping up with the algorithm ruins art and even just people’s feelings in general#it shouldn’t be about that#Eugh#anyway I can’t even check who likes my stuff it’s just a number now#a number attached to an analysis about performance and account activity#again… that’s so incredibly depressing#but I digress pffft#:’> I’m ok just had to get that off my chest#it’s been bothering me#I see artists I look up to struggling to stay in the algorithm and it shows their art has suffered for it#it kinda hurts to see it yknow#but again. I digress!!!#-sad shimi dance- Shakira Shakira…
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I feel ill. All the fools and villains who ever fell for my ploys, they're — they're here!
#gamingnetwork#vgedit#videogameedit#gamingedit#dailygaming#gameplaydaily#bg3edit#bg3#bgedit#bg3 astarion#astarion#astarion ancunin#:(#i think this scene is so interesting and speaks to why i get so annoyed by the 'any portrayal of astarion#as having an degree of a conscience or goodness in him is stupid and woobifying. hes chaotic evil and thats IT' thing#the grief and guilt. the way he tries to talk himself into it. the way he removes HIS OWN autonomy to do it. pretends theres no other choic#esp in the context of other moments where he preens when hes called good. he LIKES being smth other than what cazador made him#but hes so SCARED. he spends this dialogue talking himself into killing them and he HAS to talk himself into it BECAUSE this kind of evil#isnt easy to him despite it all. theres still scraps of a conscience there yknow? and he hides it from himself by pretending hes less free#astarion is fun BECAUSE hes weird and contradictory and a bad person with the capacity 4 good. BECAUSE he doesnt know what he actually want#also i love the idea of him in this moment rly thinking abt the player....like whether theyre friends or romances#a player whos been really kind and loving to him...kept him safe....trusted him....#thinking about how they let their guard down for him and how in his old life THIS would have been the life#hed been damning them to....years and centuries in a tiny cage somehow even worse than his
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i just wanted to draw grovyle being happy but he makes it difficult
#grovyle#dusknoir#pmd hero#pmd2#pmd eos#my art#actaeonshipping#not necessarily but yknow me#grovyle has gone through so much pain at this point his friend not remembering him is like a blessing#at least theyre alive and the entire world has not disappeared#grovyle's life has been worse. he can work with this
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literally why would i want to poison my brain immersing myself in petty internet drama all day when i can go outside see the sun and seek out the positive activities that are actually beneficial for my mental health
#people that feel compelled to argue with strangers you'll never meet irl: why would you do that to yourself#some of my mutuals are Really far gone down the virtue-signal internet drama [xyz is Gross i would never do xyz] rabbit hole#and it's kinda scary to see tbh#i've caught MYSELF suddenly getting a little combative and immediately i shut that shit down#twitter has changed people for the worse in the sense that they're more hostile than they used to be#i'm referring to petty shit that could've been solved through DMs or through a simple block and walk away#not like#actual warranted warnings and shit#gotta specify yknow
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I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.
I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.
It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.
There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.
#its just like idk i dont think Curly was a bad captain because we only have this scenerio and I certainly dont think a man like Swansea#would like him or have very little issues with him specifically if he was incompentent or too lienent in the past but I do think the stress#was making him worse and worse as being a present leader as it dawned on him how much he actually had to handle like I really think he#just wanted to do yknow normal captain pilot stuff and fly the ship and yknow the little stuff like make sure things run right and over tim#the constant stress and strain of having to make every major choice started to grate on him and freak him out cause they cant even fucking#eat unless he pulls out the scanner and starts cooking like he has to choose the meal likely or have a vote and i make that part of the#reason he seems so indecisive and inactive is the fact he has to make the choice all the time and he's hoping he can at least make the crew#feel a little more in control of themselves as people by staying out of affairs like the game or disputes because god he literally has to#choose for them all the time like thats a lot of responsibility monitering their sleep their breaks food consumption thats all on him like#it really should be another persons job entirely as thats almost like absoulte contrl over the lives of everyone else that PE forces onto#that title and its also crazy how everyone accepts it even if they dont like it like they broke the food machine open rather than get the#scanner they all waited two months before Jimmy appointed himself leader its so scary how conditioned they all are to the environemnt#cause that sort of mindset is sadly real where people just wait everyone just waited until it was getting real dire and then they still#followed Jimmy without too many complaints like i saw a fic or post where Anya acknowledges they all kinda just let Jimmy do what they want#because he became the captain and it was stupid on all their parts cause they could clearly see how bad he was and yet he was captain so#they just fell in line to their roles and thats a bigger point towards how PE treated them and the complacency capitalism brings to you#just like something that irks me because idk I know Curly is slow to act but he's not as like unopinionated as people make him out to be#like he does try to find solutions but they are still restricted at the end of the day by what PE provides them and I think his biggest c#crime is being in his own head too much and not giving Anya that emotional stability cause like idk man was he supposed to go to Home Depot#himself and install like padlocks? even if the let Anya sleep in medical after she pointed it out she was already pregnant at that point#like we arent seeing the inherent issue that no one not even Anya herself was thinking of the preventative measures because a)there was a#point nothing was happening that necessitated them b) it would've been the responsibility of PE to address them pre and post incident and c#there is only one person on the entire ship given the authority to do anything. You can not make multiple important choices in one instance#in such little time and Curly should not have had that total power like i think the most interesting thing in takes that really blame Curly#is that level of control they give him over the company. Like again i think about the three days we miss between the eval/party and the#convo/crash like i think people switch them around as if those scenes happen in succession when they are broken up and its heavily implied#Curly and Jimmy just havent been talking vs the depiction that she told him and for like three days Curly was just chummy despite the fact#Jimmy and him just had a blow out fight like the next time we assume they talk is during the crash sequence cause he honestly hangs#around Anya more which i think is really important because she trust Curly to defend her himself but not his judgement to give her somethin#to defend herself as she knows he believes her but also knows she's not seeing the danger the same and its heartbreaking and more
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Despite how much I suffered making my last isat au Aris sprite redraw, I decided to do it again and once again went through hell doing it. There’s like a billion mistakes in this (such as her having the wrong arm rip) but at the end of the day I’m still happy with how it turned out :]
#keese draws#oc#oc art#eternal gales#isat#in stars and time#sorry for main tagging feel free to excecute me if you want or whatever#grips sink cringe is dead cringe is dead cringe is dead#anyways this is a very fuzzy and vague au as I don’t rly feel comfortable going off too hard with this one#this is pretty much entirely because I know I’d have to fuck around with the worldbuilding a decent amount and I don’t rly wanna do that#Isat’s worldbuilding is one of my favorite parts of isat so I don’t wanna fuck it up yknow?#I might do some other sprite redraws once I stop thinking too hard abt aris and tali#for context tali is the king aka complicated design that makes me wanna cry especially since I made it worse by changing her imagery#instead of having tears as a thing she has like. fracturing if that makes sense?#it’s supposed to be a nod to her ‘cracked’ eye in canon#she also has threads coming from her limbs instead of long hair for similar reasons#also she doesn’t have straight hair so yknow#but yeah for additional context aris and tali are half sisters and they make me go insane#in this au the idea would be that when their grandparents divorced when the two were little tali and their grandma left the island#aris wouldn’t leave until five or so years later when she was around 12#at which point the island disappeared and all that#the two have mostly completely forgotten about eachother but there still is familiarity between them#tali isn’t any less of a piece of shit than the king in this au tho#aris for a brief moment almost remembers who tali is during act 3 but she dies before she can fully grasp it#which almost hurts more to her despite not even knowing what she was trying to recall#during act 5 her inner sadness fight is against the hazy image of a very young tali 👍#just tiny 5 year old tali using the voices of the others to scream at aris that she’s been nothing but a burden to them all#and that she’s done nothing but hurt them in her selfish attempts to fix a problem that she refuses to admit she caused#and that time and time again she’s lied that she’s doing her best to protect them and that she’s failed all of them#it’s a mix of current guilt and her hazy but longstanding guilt towards tali
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Has there ever been an instance in all of RWBY where diplomacy actually, completely worked out? No violence, no betrayal, just two opposing parties de-escalating through conversation?
#rwde#been seeing takes like 'violence isnt the answer to every conflict and rwby shows that it sometimes makes things worse!!1!'#yet i cant think of a single time anyone has solved smth by simply talking#you could maybe say yang and raven in the v5 finale but lbr that shit was rushed as hell and it shows#not to mention it completely obliterated raven's character. what little of it there was anyway#and that came on the heels of rubys plea and the subsequent fight where weiss almost died so doubt it counts#its so weird to have this argument for a cartoon based on SHONEN anime. yknow. the genre of big fights all the time?#and to aim that argument at the sole in universe minority group fighting against oppressors is... a choice
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hey guyss
small rant thing about personal 🏳️⚧️ stuff below, sorry if it sounds annoying 😭
Lately for the past 2 years, I've been thinking about going by other alternative names. Because ever since I've started to actually understand my trans identity, my current one has been feeling pretty meh (for various reasons), y'know?
Even though I've been picky and thinking about it for a while, I think I've found a name that I kinda like: Vivien. While i guess it tends to be thought of as more feminine, I think I like the more androgynous feeling of this name, and I like that it can occasionally still be interpreted as "masc".
But the reason why I'm sharing this is is because, tbh, I'm kinda scared to share it with friends and family irl. Not because my friends would care (or that I would be in danger!!!!!!! im safe!!!), but because 2 years ago (after I came out as trans) I had picked out a different name and mentioned it to two members of my family. Both times I got made fun of. ☹️
It wasn't even a crazy name, either- like mold or sock. Was it a bit uncommon? Sure, but it wouldn't turn any heads. One of the family members I told was my mom, and her knee-jerk reaction was to VEHEMENTLY say that she wouldn't let me call myself that </3 (again, the name was normal.) But when she caught wind of her reaction really hurting me, all of sudden she had a complete 180 and told me that she thought the name was cute and encouraged me to use it, even though she made it VERY CLEAR that she DID NOT like the name. 🙁 and it's like hi um no thanks. I will not be calling myself that anymore what
Ever since then, I've been a bit scared to open up about any name-related stuff. ☹️ So I was thinking that maybe, for any mutuals who might happen to see this, that you guys could maybe call me Vivien for like, a week? As a trial run? I want to sort of break out of this shell, but I don't think I'm ready to even mention it to my friends yet. 🙁 Of course, I won't stop you guys from referring to me as my user, but I just want to see if this is something that I like enough to risk being made fun of again 😭
And maybe you guys could tell me your thoughts on the name, too? Personally I think it's pretty androgynous, but I don't really want to go by something that could only be interpreted as feminine and just screams "GIRL!!!!!🫵 GIRL!!!!!!🫵WOMANNN!!!!!!!!!! 🫵🫵🫵🫵" y'know?
xoxo ig, see you guys later *rides away on skateboard*
#sorry if this reads as like “boohoo my fee fees are hurt 🥺🥺🥺🥺”#they are but it could've been a lot worse for me#I'm glad that I have support (especially from my parents) but a lot of feels just like.#“haha okay whatever you say. love you!!!!” *does not change their behavior*#really I have it MUCH better than others. I wasn't kicked out or disowned; my parents still really love me#but like... YEOWCH man. especially with past comments my mom has made about this stuff (very “me me me” yknow?) (im still mad 2 yrs later)#my mom has FINALLY started to be a bit better about misgendering me#but there's ABSOLUTELY ZERO effort from my dad 😍😍😍 and it hurts everytime 😍😍😍#so uh. yeah. skibidi toilet or whatever. 👍#blog#rant#transgender#God forbid I mention neopronouns- that would absolutely cross the line for them ☹️ So I won't! <333#<- was only a small thought anyways. but who knows! I might continue looking into it#sorry for the rant :P
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ok so yesterday i did my first run of the year! with a friend. it was great, i feel very pleasantly sore today. we did an easy 2 miles. but then i got back to where we parked and my car got smashed into and my wallet and phone charger were stolen. i actually feel like…not super upset about the whole thing, having to pay for new IDs and getting the window fixed will suck but the friend i ran with was soooo real the whole time & franklin bought me dinner. i didn’t actually have to interact with any cops, i locked my cards before the person who stole em could buy 900$ worth of gift cards, haha
idk. i genuinely find theft kinda fascinating, i think their whole M.O. was pretty smart & had they been faster i think they should have tried to buy something less conspicuous lol
#i’m sad my wallet and the sentimental stuff in it is gone#and not being able to drive rn is a hassle but it’s getting fixed tomorrow morning#it’s kind of been very funny just by it sucking in principle but like. idk i’m glad it wasn’t worse#has been an interesting experience yknow
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I feel like there’s hands trapped in my chest clawing to get out but that’s okay! We stay silly!
#sorry to scream but I have got to just yell for a minute#idk what the hell happened to me but it started a few months ago#every time I’m alone with my thoughts it’s just there. something and it’s itchy!!! metaphorically yknow but#my soul is itchy babes this is concerning#not very concerning I’m pretty certain it has to do with me finally realizing oh maybe I ain’t cis#but I DONT FUCKIN LIKE IT#I know what’s gonna happen. whatever this is it’s gonna gnaw at me for a couple years and then it’ll just hit me like a truck and I’ll be#Changed for the better or worse#same thing happened when I wrestled with the sexuality but it’s so stupid#body stop it. chest stop it. hands!!!! stop scratching and trying to crack me chest open please#I’d like to deal with this Not Right Now I have other real issues that are more pressing#wish I could just open my chest up and grab the lil fucker that’s in there causing a ruckus and squeeze him until his head pops#anyways sorry this is stupid and very venty from me in a way I don’t usually do it#btw I do want to stress I am generally doing great overall! just tired (always haha)#but workouts have been awesome and I’m happy with my progress and I’m workin and doin well#but this has just been driving me crazy lately#lynx talks#sorryyyyy abt all that#anyway
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I will say the one thing about Fathoms is. as a modern (assuming they are a modern. which. they must be right). they have likely been in the works for literal years. like. these guys could have been in development before ancients were even released (especially if they were one of the known in-progress breeds back before bogsneaks were out based on those... I think apparel streams/previews?)
so in all likelihood they're probably more emblematic of the beginning of the "same structure" issue than a continuation of it. I feel like we're so used to judging ancients recently (which are, as shown by livestreams and such, designed in a short period from concept to release) that like. maybe we forget that any modern release is just, like, a really old design. without the benefits of any feedback that has come since the release of ancients
#does not make the designs immune to criticism!#I just would not assume moderns are ever going to be particularly reflective of the community's desires at the time of release#some get lucky in timing or general appeal or surprise#but inevitably any that have been in development for a while (which is all of them.) have the chance of missing their mark by release time#also I dunno if I'm misreading things. are people silently accounting for this.#I feel like a lot of the criticism has fallen in line with the crits ancients get but like. it's just such a different thing. yknow#(it does make the ancient design situation worse in that regard since they Aren't filling in gaps the moderns aren't... so. there's that)
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i miss doing fun makeup looks 😭😭😭 need this eczema flare up to bugger off fr
#loren talks#i've been trying something new so like#it kinda has to 'get worse before it gets better' oof#buttttt im really trying to stop using steroid creams bc i don't want to like#end up with The Dreaded Topical Steroid Withdrawal#anyway the stuff im using. i like it#it does make me uh. shiny and greasy so i cant really do makeup over it BUT#it also does massively reduce the redness which is always one of my biggest like#problems with my eczema. for vanity reasons yknow#like 'skin texture' whatever i don't really care abt that#but i have always hated the redness and this stuff so far has been really good at like Immediately Reducing that
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having a favourite band you love with your whole soul is so insane actually i could be sitting here in an absolutely horrible mood then put a collage song on spotify and be like. oh im normal now 👍 <- extremely normal and well adjusted thing to say. tbh
#asto speaks#started getting a little bit too emotional over the 南北 platonic breakup dont look at me#me,to my friend a while back: been catching up with the last two seasons of 密神 while im at the gym and it got me thinking about 南北 again#but like. only vaguely i swear im sure its fine#me now,not even a month later: oh maybe im really not normal about 南北 again actually#listen you gotta understand the last time i was like really In this fandom was like 2020-2021. PEAK 南北 era#i got introduced to the 院人 fandom through fucking 名学 season 2. peak fucking 南北 era#like werent they the top like CP on weibo at some point around there#me coming back now in 2025 is like. when your fantasy novel protagonist from a nice cute wholesome village leaves on a quest#and comes back to find the evil wizard has burned the entire village to the ground#like i was vaguely aware of the breakup back when it was happening but i wasnt rly paying attention to the fandom at that point#so yknow it could be worse. at least i didnt return to the village when it was actively on fire#but like wow. what in the world#???????????????????????
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I wouldn't say I.....lllllike West Side Story....I have. A complicated relationship with West Side Story. Lol. But I heard that the more recent movie adaptation made the protag white boy (I'm sorry. I forget his fucking name. They should've included a song about it and maybe I'd remember. I'm gonna assume it's Johnny cuz he's an everyday white man self insert and if I'm wrong oh well and if I'm right that's hilarious) even worse and more racist and that's CRAZY cuz even in the original it's so fucking hard to empathize with one side of the story cuz they're literally just racist street thugs that want to beat up Puerto Ricans for no other reason than the crime of being Puerto Rican, and you're telling me the new movie makes him WORSE??? Maria girl get OUT of there.... be thankful he got fucking shot! Good lord!
#like i watched a review that was specifically abt Anita getting dealt the worse hand ever which. true#but it mentions that in the new version like... this guy has been taken in by two puerto rican women#after getting let out of prison for ostensibly KILLING a puerto rican immigrant for. yknow. being puerto rican#and he whines about how conflicted he is abt his racist street gang being racist. to these puerto rican women#who took in his murdering ass. like hello???????#tomi talks
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if i did all the things i wanted to do then i wouldnt get enough sleep but if i slept as much as i wanted to then i wouldnt have time to do the things i want
#i understand this is a quandary for everyone under capitalism#but in my case im pretty sure its a problem of not managing my time 😭😭😭#my executive has NOT been functioning good recently. i dont know#if its always been like this or it just got worse recently for some reason ggbdbvrvdxnjh.#its not even a case of I have too many things i want to do#its more of a case where i dont even want to do the things i want to do. yknow????????#when u keep putting off things u wanna do. man
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