#but just being able to do so much yesterday with no issues was.... really nice.

[knifegremliin]

also yesterday i spent like... the majority of the day drawing but? my wrists? are not any worse?

[guiltyasdave]

i can see the end as it begins

chapter 1 • series masterlist

pairing: Dave York x f!reader

summary: You meet your father’s new friend for the first time, but he’s a lot different than you expected.

word count: ~5k

tags/warnings: explicit smut -> 18+ mdni, dbf!Dave, unhealthy relationship dynamics, dom/sub dynamics, angst, daddy issues (reader’s dad isn’t a nice person), able-bodied reader, reader has hair, no use of y/n, divorced Dave, unprotected p in v, semi-public sex, fingering, dirty talk, praise kink, degradation kink, spanking, pet names, let me know if i missed anything 🫶🏻

a/n: my favorite person on this app @joelscurls planted the idea of dbf!dave in both our heads and after many many feral dms, porn gifs, plotting and just generally freaking out, we have finally managed to put the first chapter together :) we’re currently planning with 4 chapters in total that we’re gonna take turns posting, so go follow jess if you don’t already (criminal behavior tbh)! i’m beyond excited to be able to do this with someone whose writing i adore sooo much, we’re both beyond excited about this story, and we hope that you enjoy it 🫶🏻

follow @joelscurlsupdates and @guiltyasdavenotifs for updates and find jess’s masterlist here and my masterlist here :)

dividers by the lovely @saradika-graphics!

“I want a divorce.”

It’s been almost a year since Carol spoke those words into the tense silence of their dining room and they still echo in Dave’s mind as if it happened yesterday.

He doesn’t mourn the marriage, doesn’t miss Carol, not in the way he probably should. But he mourns the life that he had, the perfect suburban family, the stability. A little boring maybe, but safe, calming. Predictable.

And he misses his girls. He misses the sound of small feet on the hardwood-floor greeting him as soon as he opened the front door, giggly exclamations of “Daddy’s home!” and tiny hands grabbing at him, begging to be picked up. Now he opens the door to an empty, silent apartment. He has them every second weekend, which he rationally knows makes the most sense with his often irregular working hours, but it’s simply not enough. It’s like time is constantly running through his fingers and he just can’t make it stop, can’t bring his life back under control.

He’s doing what he can to keep himself busy, anything to keep his mind occupied and his thoughts from spiraling into that pit of loneliness that he’s found himself in. He started reconnecting with friends, going out with his colleagues and contacting people from his army days that he hasn’t spoken to in years, trying to build a social life outside of his family and the neighbors that he no longer lives next to.

It’s tedious, making him realize that he really doesn’t like people all that much, but it’s better than spending his evenings by himself and wondering where things went so awfully wrong.

He spends a lot of time with Jim, one of the guys that trained with him and that he always got along with rather well. Jim was delighted when Dave called, promptly inviting him to join him at golf the next day, which somehow turned into a weekly event on Dave’s schedule. It’s nice enough, giving him some sense of routine and he finds that he’s rather good at it. Jim runs his own company by now, the thing that he invests all of his time in, which got him a lot of money, but also a divorce.

It’s all he talks about, too, but it’s fine with Dave, not being forced to contribute that much to the conversation – because really, there’s not much worth mentioning happening in his life anyway – and he’s content to just nod along and hum in agreement most of the time.

Jim has a daughter too, a lot older than Dave’s though, already out of the house, attending law school. He can tell that Jim is proud when he talks about her, but it always seems to be connected to achievements, an underlying pressure to their relationship that leaves Dave a little uneasy and he silently vows to himself to never apply any sort of conditions to his love for his daughters.

But he's never met the young woman and he probably never will, so he doesn’t dwell on it, because what does it matter to him, really?

You huff a sigh as the familiar sight of the country club that your father loves to frequent comes into view and hand the Uber driver a tip before sliding out of the car.

You had thought you’d be getting a night out with your Dad, just the two of you, a rare occurrence. Not that you had been particularly looking forward to being grilled about law school, your grades, networking and internship opportunities, but at least he would be listening to you, paying attention. Joking that he was making sure that the money he put into your education was well invested, a joke that felt less funny every time you were reminded just how financially dependent you were on your father.

If the topic of conversation wasn’t school, it was what kind of acquaintances you’ve made, if maybe you’d met a guy with good connections, someone who could introduce you to the right people. Cautionary warnings not to get involved with the wrong sort, not to get on the wrong track.

Just once, you would like to talk about if you were enjoying school, what living on your own was like, how you got along with your roommate, the fun times you had with your girlfriends, anything about your life that wasn’t somehow connected to success or keeping up appearances. But your relationship wasn’t like that. He didn’t care about these sorts of things, he never had.

You continuously swallowed down the heavy feeling of envy in your stomach when your friends talked about their parents, painting a picture of unconditional love and support that was foreign to you, telling yourself that everything was fine the way it was.

“I invited Dave to join us tomorrow,” he then told you yesterday morning, offhandedly, sipping his coffee and his eyes already glued to his phone. You nodded silently, forcing your lips into something that resembled a smile. He had mentioned someone named Dave before, an old friend from his army days that he had recently reconnected with, if you remembered correctly. It didn’t matter, really, your father’s countless acquaintances blurred into a mix of vaguely familiar faces in your head anyway. If you had mixed feelings about the evening plans before, this new development made it clear that you wouldn’t partake in the conversation much, just smile politely, sit pretty and let the grown ups talk.

Steeling yourself, you walk in, your heels clicking against the floor. After spotting your dad almost immediately and waving in his direction, you make a beeline for the bar. He was sitting alone, you think, furrowing your brow in thought. You’re running a little late yourself, maybe that Dave guy couldn’t make it? You don’t hate the idea of that.

Dave had been reluctant to come out tonight, couldn’t help the feeling that he was intruding on his friend’s father-daughter time, something that he was desperate to have more of, but Jim had insisted.

“Lots of women you could meet there!”

He had scoffed under his breath, not able to picture himself meeting someone new, going through the motions of getting to know them, opening up, adjusting his routine to someone else’s again. He could much less picture himself meeting a woman he’d be interested in at a fucking country club of all places. Eventually, the thought of another evening in his silent and empty apartment with nothing but his thoughts to keep him company made him accept anyway.

He’s drumming his fingers against the polished wooden bar, waiting to pick up the second round of beers for Jim and himself, when someone slides up to the counter beside him. He glances over, eyes focusing in on the woman who is studying the drinks menu.

He feels an inexplicable pull towards her, couldn’t look away again even if he tried. She’s beautiful, he thinks as he takes in her features in the soft warm light, lingering on the shape of her lips, before his gaze trails down her body, over the short black dress that’s clinging to her in the most enticing way. She’s also younger than him; too young, the responsible part of his mind argues. Not the kind of woman that he should be interested in meeting. He still can’t look away.

“Evening.” The greeting comes out before he can stop himself. She looks up, a hint of annoyance on her pretty face, but her gaze softens as her eyes meet his. A smirk plays on her lips.

“Hi.” Her eyes flicker down his own body and up again, something akin to excitement taking over her expression. He’s rusty, hasn’t done this in ages, but her interest is palpable, and it shoots a thrill of pleasure through him.

“I’m David,” he introduces himself. No one has called him David in… god knows how long, but it feels better than Dave in this moment, right somehow. Like he can be a different person, just for a little while.

“Pleasure,” she grins, tells him her name and shakes his hand, her eyes glinting in the warm lights of the bar. Her touch on his skin, even just his hand, is like electricity is flowing through the air between them. She feels so soft and his life has been so devoid of softness lately that he has to force himself to let go of her hand again.

Something tugs at the back of his mind, like this name should ring a bell, but he shoves the thought aside. He’s too busy picturing himself taking her home this evening, imagining how soft her skin would feel in other places, how she would look splayed out underneath him on his sheets, how her breath would sound when he–

“I’ve never seen you around here before, are you new?” her melodic voice interrupts the vivid daydream playing in his mind. She has taken a step towards him and hints of the sweet notes of her perfume are beginning to surround the air around him. It’s getting a little hard to think straight.

“I– yes. First time actually,” he laughs and delights in the way her face lights up at the sound. “You come here a lot, then?” The cliché line makes him want to cringe, but she doesn’t falter, only shrugs and lets her eyes slowly trail down his body once more, obviously wanting him to notice.

“Depends. I might be here more often if it means I get to see you.”

She reaches out until her fingers softly graze his wrist and it demands a great amount of willpower not to take her home right this instant.

The heartbeat in your chest is thrumming along to the butterflies that are erupting in your stomach. You’ve never been this bold, too shy to flirt at all most of the time, but the stranger in front of you is clouding your sense of judgment and has your insecurities flying right out of the window. His interest is written over his face clear as day and you feel an immediate pull towards him that you can’t explain.

He’s so handsome that your hands are itching to touch him more, to find out if he’s as broad and solid as is large frame suggests, if that jawline would feel as strong under your fingertips as it looks, and if his deep brown eyes would soften before you press your lips against his. No wedding ring either, you note in the back of your mind, sending another surge of excitement through you.

The fact that he seems old enough to be your father, something that your therapist would probably have a few words to say about, is only adding to the arousal that’s coursing through your veins. You want him.

You almost jump when your drinks arrive in front of you; you had all but forgotten where you are, and that you’re very much in eyesight of your actual father. Suddenly, you feel silly, reality catching up to you. Surely he was just being nice and you read way too much into it, making a fool of yourself.

“Well, I–I’ll see you around then.” You hastily grab your glass and are ready to make a run for it, when his large hand wraps around your elbow.

“Looking forward to it,” he purrs, before he takes the two beers off the counter in front of him.

Awkwardness slowly sets in when you start walking in the same direction, but it doesn’t fully hit you until you both stop at the same table, your father beaming up at you.

“Sweetheart, you already met Dave I see, that’s great. Come, sit!”

You’re frozen, stupidly blinking between your father and the man beside you a few times. The man who introduced himself as David.

David. Dave. Oh. Oh.

“Y–yeah,” you stutter out eventually and plaster a smile on your face as you take a seat beside your dad. David looks just as dumbstruck as you feel when he slides into the chair opposite from you, quietly handing one of the beers over to your dad. His friend.

Your father launches into a story about their army days together and you’re nodding along, but not one word actively registers in your brain. The conversation eventually moves on to your dad’s recent work projects, the majority of the talking done by him, with the occasional question from David, while you’re silently sipping on your drink.

The initial embarrassment of the whole situation makes you want to sink down into the ground, but still you can’t keep your eyes from flicking to David again and again. They linger on his lips, constantly in a pout that you would give anything to feel against yours, the slight shadow of stubble on his cheeks at the end of the day that you know would scratch against your skin so deliciously, the way his hand dwarfs his beer on the table, thick fingers that could stretch– No. No, you’re not going there.

Your cheeks are burning and you stare down at the tabletop in front of you.

When your gaze lifts back up, David’s eyes are already trained on you, glinting like he knows exactly what you’ve been thinking about. You reluctantly look back at your father, who’s still rambling on about some big client that he’s currently dealing with, completely oblivious to the charged energy between his friend and you.

David shifts in his seat and his leg bumps against yours under the table. You grasp your drink tighter, forcing yourself not to react in any way, but you don’t move away either. Neither does he. You shoot him a look and the hint of a smirk plays around his mouth. He looks too damn good like this, so excitingly wrong in a way that makes your pulse flutter.

It feels like you’re burning up from inside and as little attention as your dad is paying to you, you’re certain that he’s gonna notice that something is off with you eventually. You hastily scramble to your feet and excuse yourself to the bathroom. You feel David’s eyes on you as you walk away until you’re out of sight.

The cool water that you run over your wrists and splash onto your cheeks does a poor job of calming you down. Stupid, stupid, stupid, you admonish yourself. It’s certainly not more than a tiny bit of flirting to him, if at all, just some harmless fun to amuse himself probably, and you’re getting this worked up about it.

No. You need to get out of this situation. You’re gonna walk back out there, make something up about a headache and catch a cab home. It will probably earn you a lecture about politeness later in the evening, but you’ll gladly take that.

When you approach the table again, your dad is just getting off his phone, his expression already far away. You know that look all too well, being subjected to it almost daily.

“Work emergency?” you ask, without a real question behind your words.

“Yeah,” he grumbles, getting up, barely looking at you, already all business. “Sorry, I gotta get to the office, Dave will drive you home. Right, Dave?”

Your eyes fly to David and you catch him swallowing hard, but he nods regardless, lips quirking up in a forced smile. “Of course.”

You both silently watch your father’s retreating back, already speaking into his phone again. The fabric of Dave’s pants ghosts against your bare leg below the table once more. You wish it were his fingers instead.

You hadn’t anticipated to be alone with him and all the reasonable thoughts that you’ve come up with in the privacy of the bathroom are wiped from your mind. It feels like you’re buzzing, a rush of excitement thrumming through your veins, like your body knows that you’re on the brink of doing something really stupid and really fucking tempting.

“I’m sorry, about earlier,” you murmur, looking up at him through your lashes. He smirks, a knowing glint in his eyes as he takes in your expression. He still hasn’t moved his leg.

“I don’t think you are.”

Your stomach swoops at his words. You bite your lip. He wouldn’t be acting like this if he didn’t want you, would he? His eyes dart to your lips at the movement and darken. Fuck it.

“No, I’m not.” You pray that he doesn’t catch the slight tremble in your voice. He’s fucking intimidating and this is wrong on so many levels and you want him so badly to want you.

The tension between you is a palpable thing, almost making it hard to breathe when he leads you out of the club, his hand at the small of your back and causing you to shiver. Will he really just drive you home? Will he say something, do something, touch you more? You don’t know how to ask for any of it and desperately wish that he’ll take the reins, that somehow he already knows what you want. You have a feeling that he does.

He opens his car door for you, another thing that really shouldn’t affect you this much, before he walks around the vehicle and gets in beside you. You catch a hint of his cologne in the confined space and press your thighs together before you can stop yourself. Your heart is racing and you just know that he knows exactly what he’s doing to you.

He clears his throat. “We gotta stop at my place, I have some paperwork that I’d like your–” He interrupts himself, his grip on the steering wheel tightening until his knuckles are white, “that I’d like Jim to look over for me.”

You nod, a small hum leaving your throat. The implication of going to his place has you reeling. He nods back, stealing a glance at you before he starts the car. You can’t help watching him as he drives, the subtle control that he exudes, the way the muscles on his thighs are flexing underneath the fabric of his pants. He looks over at you a few times, and you don’t have it in yourself to pretend that your eyes aren’t glued to him.

“See something you like?” he asks eventually, the corners of his mouth twitching.

“Yeah,” you answer, so breathless it’s embarrassing and you shift a little in your seat. Your dress rides up at the movement, revealing more skin, and his eyes fly down instantly.

“Me too,” he rasps.

When he stops the car in front of his building, you decide that it’s time to be brave.

“Do you want me to come up with you?”

“No,” his answer comes instantly. His tone isn’t cold, but determined, not to be argued with.

“Oh.” Your cheeks are heating up again. You hate how small your voice sounds. “I thought–”

He sighs, rubbing a hand over his face, avoiding your gaze.

“I can’t. You’re– You know why. You know I can’t.”

“I don’t care. I’m an adult, I can do what I want.”

He shakes his head, still not looking at you.

“Sweetheart, stop. Trust me, I want to, but–”

“Please?” You’re begging, no dignity left in you, only want want want. “Just one time. Please, David?”

His eyes fly up to your face at that. You can see the shift, the way his expression hardens, turning into something feral that has heat growing between your legs.

“Just one time,” he repeats, his voice dark with desire, no longer trying to conceal it.

His hands find your thighs, grabbing at you roughly, moving you until you’re in his lap, legs spread wide, his breath fanning against your lips. One hand is in your hair, the other gliding under the hem of your dress, his touch turning you into a trembling mess.

“This is what you want?” he growls, the grip in your hair tightening. You don’t think that you’ve ever wanted anything as much as this.

“Please,” you whine again, and he presses forward, lips clashing against yours, the kiss all tongue and teeth and desperate need and you’re melting into him.

“Fuck,” he breathes, his hands all over you now, grabbing at your dress, your skin, any place he can reach.

Your mouth travels over his cheek and down to his neck, sucking kisses and bites into his skin. The stubble scratches against your face just like you thought it would and you start working on the buttons of his shirt with trembling fingers, rolling your hips, desperate for friction. His grip steadies you, pulling down the neckline of your dress, kissing along the lace of your bra before he pulls the cups down too. A groan rises up in his throat as he cups your tits, thumbs circling over your already hardened nipples before he leans forward and sucks one into his mouth.

“Fucking perfect,” he rasps, breath hot against your damp skin. You arch into his touch and he chuckles, sucking on the bud again before he bites down, eliciting a loud moan from you. His touch travels up your thighs, leaving a burning trail behind, until his fingertips rub over the soaked fabric of your panties and you gasp at the barely-there touch.

“Oh, sweetheart,” he coos, pressing down harder. “Already dripping for me, huh? You want it that bad?”

You nod eagerly, pushing down onto his fingers.

“Alright.” He sounds just as wrecked as you feel. He starts undoing his belt buckle and his pants and you lift up just enough to allow him to shove them down his hips.

At the first glance at his cock, your mouth falls open, a silent breath escaping you. He’s big, certainly the biggest you’ve ever had, and maybe you should think about how you’ll take all of him inside of you, but you find yourself craving him, craving the stinging stretch, craving the feeling of being as close as possible to him.

“Don’t worry.” He seems mildly amused, catching your lips in another kiss. “We’ll make it fit.”

Another shudder runs through your body at this. “I’m not worried,” you admit in a whisper.

He laughs at that, a breathless sound that you instantly want to hear again.

“Good.”

He pulls your underwear to the side and thrusts one thick finger up into your slick heat without warning. His thumb rubs around your clit and you already feel an orgasm creeping up on you. He adds a second finger, his rhythm relentless, and you cry out, grabbing his shoulders, trying to steady yourself, but it’s pointless. You’re already clenching, so close to the edge, when he pulls out of you and fixes you with a hard glare.

“Not yet. You’re only gonna come on my cock tonight, understood?”

You want to scream, want his fingers back, but you realize that you also want this authority, want him to take control, to take whatever he wants from you. It’s a heady feeling, one that you’ve never experienced before, but you’re already desperate for more.

“Okay,” you agree, and his responding smirk is enough for another wave of wetness to gather between your legs.

With one steadying hand securely on your hip, he leans over to the glovebox, mumbling about protection, but you stop him, fingers looping around his wrist.

“I’m on the pill, and I’m clean, I promise. You don’t need–”

He leans back, the grip on your hip tightening again.

“Fuck sweetheart, are you sure?”

You nod quickly, another “please” falling from your lips.

The grin on his face is downright feral as he hikes your dress up higher, eyes raking over your body. You’re sure that you look a mess, all intimate parts of you on display, your skin damp with sweat, your hair a wild nest. You curl in on yourself a little, but David won’t have any of that.

“Hey,” he growls, fingers digging into your thighs. “If I’m gonna do this, you’re gonna look at me and beg for it, are we clear?”

You lift your head, wide eyes searching his. Desperate to do what he asks, desperate for his approval. He’s gorgeous in the low lights, his cheeks flushed, a thin sheen of sweat covering his face and chest.

“Please,” you whine. “Please David, I need you.”

His movements turn frantic at your words, moving you around until you’re positioned just above him, your panties pulled to the side, the head of his cock nudging at your entrance, already soaking him.

“Just one time?” he rasps once more.

“Just one time,” you agree. You’d agree to anything right now.

He pulls you down slowly, beginning to part your walls. You whine loudly at the stretch. It burns, but you relish in the feeling of getting filled by him, and his responding groan has your lips pulling up in a smile.

You keep sinking down, moving until he’s completely sheathed inside you and your eyes fall shut at the overwhelming sensation. His fingers are on your chin in an instant, giving your head a light shake.

“Nuh-uh, eyes right here, sweetheart,” he reminds you, gritting the words out. He twitches inside you and you force your eyelids to open again.

“Feels so good,” you whine, your voice reduced to a broken, breathless thing, but then he starts moving and you’re not able to form words any longer.

He rolls his hips up into you and you meet his thrusts with your own movements, clinging to his shoulders for dear life. His hands are everywhere, digging into your hips, pinching your nipples, gripping your chin whenever your eyes are starting to slip closed again.

So you keep your gaze obediently on him, your eyes locked, delighting in the way his face scrunches up in pleasure, in the sounds that are falling from his lips, matching your own.

“Good girl, taking me so fucking well,” he groans, his hand connecting with your ass in a light slap. An obscenely loud moan escapes you in response and you clench around him, more wetness covering his length and your thighs.

He stills and leans back to take in your heated face and blown pupils, an amused smirk forming on his face. “You liked that, huh?”

You nod, once again unable to meet his eye.

“Hey,” he demands, his fingers grabbing your face again. “Eyes on me, remember?”

Your gaze reluctantly trails up and his smirk grows.

“So…” he drawls, slowly picking up his thrusts again, “what exactly did you like, huh? When I called you a good girl… or when I did this?”

He smacks your ass again and you grind down onto him almost instinctively. You’re burning up in shame, but you obediently hold his gaze.

“B–both,” you whisper, in disbelief that you’re admitting this to him, but you feel too good to hold back now.

“Fuck,” he growls, his movements speeding up and his grip on your hips bordering on painful, “knew you were a dirty little thing.”

Another slap lands on your skin, harder than before, at the same time that he thrusts deep into you. The combined sensations are enough to throw you over the edge that you had been teetering on since he first touched you and you scream out his name as you fall apart.

He holds your shaking body close, cock grinding into you as you pulse around him and he groans, burying his face in your neck, spilling his own release deep inside of you.

“Fucking perfect,” he whispers, mouth pressing against your skin. “Can’t believe that you let me–”

You barely make out the words, ecstasy still coursing through your veins, but you lean into him, holding onto his broad shoulders, feeling like his body is the only real thing in your world right now.

You stay like this, entangled in each other’s embrace until your breaths even out and he carefully lifts your face, pressing one more kiss against your lips. It hits you suddenly, that this might be the last kiss that you share with him. Just one time, right?

He helps you to properly put your clothes back on, supporting your weight as you slink back into the passenger seat, before he pulls his pants back on and jogs up to his apartment to gather the paperwork for your father.

Your father. His friend. Fuck. Now that the lust-induced haze has lifted a bit and you’re able to think more clearly again, the weight of tonight’s events starts crashing down on you. He would kill you. He can’t know, no one can.

Dave returns within minutes, his brow furrowed as he takes you in. You think that he clocks the growing panic that is probably written all over your face. He reaches for your hand, slowly enough that you could retract it if you wanted to, but you long for his touch, for the reassurance of it.

“You alright?” he asks softly.

“Yeah.” You nod, trying to convince yourself as much as him.

He nods back, not prying, which you are grateful for, and starts the car, making his way over to your house. Your hand still clasped in his. Both your release and his pooling in your panties.

You only let go of him when he pulls into the driveway and kills the engine. You don’t think that your dad checks the footage from the security cameras regularly, but it’s a risk that you’re not willing to take.

“Thank you,” you mumble, once again unable to meet his eyes. “I– I had a great night.”

He smiles, appearing more relaxed than he’d been all evening.

“Me too, sweetheart. Good night.” You feel his eyes on you as you walk up to the door.

You shower, reluctantly washing away all traces of the evening and crawl into bed. You still feel his hands on your skin, the sensation following you into your dreams.

When the morning comes, hushed promises of just one time echo in your head, but the desire to do it again, for more, is burning through your body, consuming your thoughts.

“Hey Dad,” you ask, stepping into his office where he’s brooding over documents, “I think I left my jacket in Dave’s car, could you give me his number? Maybe I can go pick it up.”

if you liked this, please consider reblogging, leaving a comment or sending in an ask – it’s really the thing that keeps writers going :)

[somber-cryptid]

Kim Rok Soo learning to cook at a really young age.

Like. Five or six. When there was nothing ready to eat in his uncle's cabinets that he could find. The milk had gone bad, and the only other thing in the fridge was an egg or two.

His uncle hadn't been back for two days, and he preferred it that way. He could wash his own clothes in the sink and hang them to dry by the window. Get up for school by himself, dress himself, and walk to school by himself. The only issue was food.

He got food at school for free. That was the best food in Kim Rok Soo's opinion. Food he did not have to risk asking his uncle for. His teachers even praised him for eating all of his side dishes when his classmates were picky about theirs. Being picky was something that you needed money for.

Kim Rok Soo didn't have any money. If he did, then his uncle probably took it with him. When he was older, he'd get a bunch of money and share it with everyone but his uncle. That would be a while, though, and he was hungry now.

Yesterday, he'd eaten the last slice of bread in the entire apartment (he'd checked everywhere, even his uncle's room.) It'd been moldy, but as his uncle often said, 'beggars can't be choosers.' Kim Rok Soo now missed the bread he'd had to pick little blue spots off of. He should've eaten the spots, too. Maybe then he wouldn't be as hungry as he was right now.

Now he stood in front of the fridge (careful not to open it, his uncle got mad if kim rok soo ran up the electricity bill) thinking hard about the egg sitting inside of it. What if his uncle got home and wanted the egg? Then what? Get hit a lot just because Kim Rok Soo couldn't wait until the next day? It wasn't even the weekend yet.

Kim Rok Soo still ended up opening the fridge and holding the egg in his hand. He could crack it open over a cup and slurp it down. Kim Rok Soo didn't want to take such a risk for something he couldn't even chew though.

So he decided to cook it. He'd seen it in books, television, and even in person when his uncle was still nice to him. If he could do the rest by himself, he could do this by himself, too.

Kim Rok Soo gathered his supplies (a stool to stand on, a pan, and his uncle's egg) and stood in front of the stove. Remembering what cooking an egg looked like, he cracked his egg on the counter and emptied the inside onto the pan. A few eggshells fell in, but Kim Rok Soo just picked them out like he did the blue spots in the bread.

He knew which knob to use to turn the stove on, but he didn't know how much. So he decided to turn it halfway and left it on medium.

Kim Rok Soo stood there for what he felt was an eternity just watching his uncle's egg. Then the edges started to turn white, and he felt a little thrill. His stomach grumbled in anticipation. The pan kept getting hotter, and eventually, Kim Rok Soo couldn't see the pan through the egg anymore. As far as Kim Rok Soo knew, the egg was done.

A very smart child, Kim Rok Soo made sure to turn off the stove. His uncle had left it on before and blamed him for it, so Kim Rok Soo couldn't forget how important it was.

He put his plate on the table and then tried to flip the pan over so the egg would come out. The yolk hit the side of his plate, but the rest of his egg didn't budge. Kim Rok Soo frowned.

What the hell? It never ended up that way for anybody else. He'd just have to ask the auntie downstairs about it. She'd taught him how to fold his shirts too.

In the end, Kim Rok Soo found a spoon and scraped the rest of the egg into his plate.

It was pretty good, or at least Kim Rok Soo thought so. He was still hungry afterwards, but not as hungry. The entire process left him feeling satisfied. Another thing he could do on his own. Soon enough, he'd be able to live on his own and never see his uncle again.

Thinking about it, he'd have to get a job too, wouldn't he? You had to earn your meals after all.

[lani-heart]

|| series masterlist || next // previously ||

genre(s) -> angst, fluff, non-idol, hybrid au, poly au paring(s) -> ( eventually ) ATEEZ x reader warning(s) -> mention of abandonment issues, stealing, mention of abuse, mental health words -> 2.5k

abstract -> never worry someone who could blackmail you as punishment...

mingi’s perspective

How was I this unlucky?

I should’ve listened to Yunho… I shouldn’t have robbed her. She always had one of her hybrids around and of course, she had one yesterday… Why wouldn’t she?

“Hey, buddy. You’re done with the evaluation today. You're code green!” One of the workers said and I nodded.

He kept writing things on that clipboard of his… in front of the kennels…

“I wanna see Yunho,” I muttered and he sighed. “His owner took him. I doubt you’ll be able to see them unless they come here.” He said as he led me inside the facility again. I missed him.

“What do you want? Money? Name your price!!” I heard as we went to the reception area. “Mingi!” I heard as I saw Yunho. I came up to him and hugged him but I saw he winced a little bit.

“I’m sorry” I apologized and he chuckled. “It’s okay. We’ll be together soon” he said and I doubt that’ll ever happen. Empty promises… he often liked to give me false hope. 

“Miss, we can't give you her phone number because you asked. That’s a violation of privacy and security—“ ”I don’t care! That bitch got my husband fired!” She yelled hysterically. “The girl is apparently a CEO's daughter and now he’s fired because of how she treated her yesterday,” Yunho said and I laughed. It was deserved. 

“I’ll pay you… a thousand dollars” she offered and I sighed. She’ll never change… but I guess that's just who she is… “Come on, Mingi '' I heard one of the workers wanting to lead me away. “Huh? Please can I stay for a little?” I begged and he sighed but nodded. He was unleashing me when the receptionist came up.

“Chenle, can’t I just give her y/n’s phone number and get a thousand dollars?” the boy asked and I almost laughed. It was easy money and for a lot.

“Is it really worth it?” the other boy… Chenle asked. “Huh?! Of course, it is! I’m sorry you’re so rich you can afford anything like y/n” he pouted… He was also rich? Must be nice… being human and no worries. 

“If you give her y/n’s phone number she’ll kill you” Chenle warned and the receptionist pouted.  “She’ll understand,” he said and Chenle scoffed. “You’re playing with fire,” Chenle said and the receptionist shrugged. 

“I’m sorry but I have a business to attend to,” the doctor said as he left my previous owner…

“What are you doing here?” She asked while looking at me. “What if I call y/n to come here? That wouldn’t be a violation of privacy?” The receptionist offered and she smirked.

“Then do it,” she said but he put his hand out. She rolled her eyes and gave him a check of what I assumed to be a thousand.

“She’s gonna kill him, '' Chenle muttered to himself and it seemed to get Yunho's attention. “Is she scary?” Yunho asked and the worker sighed “y/n? Kinds of… I mean she only gets angry and she already humiliated and insulted one of her hybrids so yeah she’ll be mad to be tricked by Haechan'' he explained and I realized she protected her hybrids.

She really did care a lot for them. 

“y/n!!” The receptionist said. “Idiot” Chenle muttered. “Kun wants to do a last-minute check on San. Hmm? No, it’s nothing serious but he wants to go over some lab results he missed from his last check-up” the receptionist said. 

“Ok, thank you. See you see y/n” he said and told the devil herself to sit down.

“Easy!” He said to Chenle and the boy only scoffed. “Even if I was in debt like you, I wouldn’t mess with y/n. She got her husband fired, she can get you fired. You know how much Kun respects her” Chenle said and the boy chuckled. 

“But a thousand dollars!” He said and he rolled his eyes. “Haechan, you’re dead. Take care of Mingi, I actually have work to do unlike you” he said as he left me with Haechan.

“I heard you were code green. Congratulations!” He said and I smiled while looking at Yunho. “Is y/n a bad person?” Yunho asked and Haechan shook her head. 

“One of the best people. She’s just scary when mad, she is a CEO’s daughter” he chuckled and I sighed. Eventually, I was just sitting in silence by Yunho… I missed him a lot. We were never separated for this long… I was alone.

It didn’t even take long until I saw the familiar girl but with her panther hybrid… a hybrid that Yunho seemed to be scared of in the rare chance he accompanied her. Haechan approached her and I heard him apologize in advance.

“y/n right?” the devil said and the girl glared at the receptionist who was admiring his check. 

“Look, I want you to take back whatever kid bratty behavior this is. You’re messing with people's lives honey and—“  “I don’t really care what you have to say. If you’re so worried about your lives you would've been nicer to others” she said and the devil scoffed.

“Oh come on! Just tell daddy that what you said was some joke and that—""Why don’t you tell your husband for a divorce since I feel bad his career was ruined because of your mouth” she said and I felt my eyes widen. I looked at Yunho who had the same expression. The devil was gonna slap her but the hybrid seemed to react faster when he grabbed her hips and pushed her back. 

He growled at her for attempting to hit her. 

“What’s going on here?!” I heard as I saw the doctor. “Look, miss, you need to leave before I call the police.” The doctor said, “You should call the police, she's crazy,'' y/n said and the devil incarnate grabbed Yunho's collar and took him with her. 

“Why’d you come?” The doctor asked and I was now alone. Yunho is gone again… I had no one… again.  

“I don’t know. Haechan, why was I here again?” She asked annoyedly and the boy smiled awkwardly.

“I’m gonna take my fifteen minute break”

“Sorry y/n and San” Kun said and I shook my head. “It's not your fault and I can't blame Haechan too much, he is a student in debt.'' I said and he smiled softly while bowing.

“Can I ask how the situation is going?” I asked and he sighed. 

“Yunho and Mingi were both adopted at a young age from breeders. Yunho is a golden retriever hybrid, whilst Mingi is a wolf hybrid. However, he was the runt of the litter whilst Yunho was the only hybrid born from his mother. Their owner originally wanted to adopt only one hybrid but adopted the two” he explained.

“But why would she change her mind?” San asked and I could tell Kun was a bit stressed with how he started organizing his paperwork.

“They're a bonded pair. Almost like mates, but being separated is affecting Mingi's health. So it wasn't recommended to separate them when they were so young and it still isn’t” he explained and I felt bad for the wolf. “It’s almost as if San or Wooyoung would be separated from you. Even though your tigers and dog hybrid care about you, those two are unhealthily attached to you…” he said and I knew what he meant. How they reacted when they thought I was dead was… an example. 

“What’s the difference between the two then? She seems to prefer the dog?” San asked and Kun agreed. “She explained that she didn’t expect the hybrids to be so tall yet so big in size. She has kids and she even claimed that he attacked her kids, but he isn't remotely violent at all. The golden retriever would do more damage before the wolf would” he explained and I was assuming she lied about it to get rid of him easily. 

“I want him to apologize to you,” San said to me and I looked at him a little shocked. “San, he was doing it to survive-” “He still stole from you…” he said and I turned to Kun who looked at me a little mischievously… “Why are you looking at me that way?” I asked and he chuckled softly.

“Here,” he said as he handed me a pamphlet for… fostering hybrids. 

“No–” me and San said but were both interrupted. “For now, so he can forget about Yunho, he’s going through depression and all of the green code hybrids have been transferred or can’t be with other hybrids. He is going through a dependent disorder, which I think can be broken by being with other hybrids” he said and I really felt bad and a little guilty… even though I shouldn’t.

“Just for a week” he begged and I sighed. Before I could deny he reminded me why I hate men. “You owe me for letting you adopt the two tiger hybrids and stressing me out,” he said and I scoffed. 

“Fine,” I said knowing I couldn’t do anything with that card he pulled. “But he isn’t staying with us permanently right?” San asked and I shook my head.

Kun soon called in Jisung who was leading us to Mingi… “Another hybrid? Are you–” I interrupted him by showing him the pamphlet and he laughed. “You’re getting blackmailed by Kun?!” he let out and I rolled my eyes.

“Mingi, come on we want you to meet someone,” he said as he looked up at his sitting position to widen his eyes in shock and I could tell he was a little scared.

“I-I’m sorry! R-really I… I don't–” “Calm down, buddy. Deep breaths she isn't gonna do anything to you. She’s here to help, think of it as your treatment” he explained and the wolf nodded slowly not knowing what was happening. 

“Ok so the foster hybrid process is–”

mingi’s perspective

My treatment was under a foster hybrid program with y/n. The woman I stole from… the woman who I shouldn't have stolen or else I would’ve been with Yunho… a woman with five hybrids who will hate me.

I expect her to get back on me… maybe starve me? Or hit me? Any form of punishment 

I don’t know yet… Her hybrids seem pretty happy and healthy? I couldn’t assume though, she might be an awful person and abuse them… but Yunho said he didn’t think so.

“We’re here, you’ll be sharing with my tiger hybrid, Hongjoong,” she said and I think she meant the tiger that was with her the day we were caught… the one who almost attacked us? 

“y/n! You're back! Yeosang is being mean… ” I saw a fox hybrid happily approach her only to stop at the sight of me. “You started… it?” I soon saw a dog hybrid glare at me… both were confused at seeing an unknown hybrid in their home. 

“This is Mingi… Kun asked me a favor and we’ll be fostering him for a week” she explained and the fox scoffed. “Fostering?” the dog said, confused. “It's a program where you can trial run a hybrid to see if they are a good fit for you” the fox explained and the dog glared. 

“No! The tigers are enough and now him! You didn’t even ask us!” he said angrily. “The doctor technically blackmailed her to take him. He won’t stay here for long… only a week” the panther glared at me.

I already didn’t feel wanted. 

The fox and dog glared at me. “Come on… don’t be mean,” she said softly while approaching the fox hugging him. He hugged her back tight… She also smiled sweetly at the dog who caressed her head.

“Fine… but there's no room for him in my room with Seonghwa, he’s already enough to deal with,” the dog said and she smiled softly. ‘He’ll be with Hongjoong” she said and he laughed. 

“Tell him that, he literally locks himself in there,” he said and I think my roommate won’t like me already.

“Is y/n back?” I heard as I saw the two tigers who stopped at the sight of me. “YOU!” the orange tiger yelled and I panicked. “Why is he here?!” he yelled and I wanted to leave… bury myself in a hole. 

“You know him?” the panther asked and he scoffed. 

“He’s the wolf hybrid who robbed y/n!” he said and they all looked at me hatefully… this wasn’t a good idea. “Come on… he did it to survive. Hongjoong don’t act like you never wanted to escape. All of you did besides Wooyoung” she scolded and they all looked away from her but the fox. 

“His friend was taken away from him. So be nice, he doesn’t have a home and he’s not as lucky as you guys” she said and they nodded. “Sorry y/n,” they said. 

“Hongjoong, he’ll be sharing rooms with you– “ he looked shocked and was about to argue “Only temporary! Please?” she asked and he sighed but didn’t have any other choice but to nod even though I could tell he didn’t want to.

“Mingi, are you hungry?” she asked me and I was but I didn’t know if this was a trap… she didn’t seem bad. They all seemed like happy hybrids. I shook my head despite not eating today.

“Hongjoong show him your new room okay?” 

“I’m sorry for what she said to you by the way,” I said to the tiger who I saw froze for a second before shaking his head. “It’s not your fault… you should be apologizing to y/n for stealing from her. And for tricking her like the two of you did, she felt betrayed” he explained and I nodded. 

“Yunho really liked her…” I muttered and he didn't say anything. 

“I really like your hair,” I said and he smiled softly. “Thanks… y/n said I could get it done. I was overdue for a haircut,” he said and I smiled softly. 

“I’ve been to your show before,” I said… and he sighed. “I’m sorry you went through that…” I added and he nodded. “Just don’t mention it around me or Seonghwa… he's the other tiger hybrid,” he said and I nodded. 

“Anything else I should avoid?” I asked and he nodded. “Don’t get too close to San… he’ll attack you. He isn’t too good with new people especially hybrids” he explained and I was curious as to why…

“Also don’t show, Wooyoung, you're annoyed with him. He’ll be upset. While staying away from Yeosang he’s very possessive of y/n '' he explained and I was overwhelmed. 

“What?” I asked and he chuckled. 

“You’re an intruder. y/n is our mate, while you're an unmated male in our territory. San will attack you if you're too close, Yeosang will talk badly about you to y/n, Seonghwa will likely avoid you, and I’m also cautious of you… Wooyoung is the best bet. If you befriend him the others will like you also. 

I needed to befriend Wooyoung… who was he again?

“I don’t know how much progress you’ll make in a week though” 

@wonuangel @danirael @angelsaway @krissroo @minkysmilk @mayonnaise-on-toast @robertsbbygirl @superbbananananana @hyukssunflower @kitty4hwa @justconniez @senpai-of-doom @kibs-and-bits @caityelise99 @ilovekinny @ateezennie23 @wooahaelemons @purplelady85 @watamotee33@chidess97 @littlelostdemonofthelight @maliamaiden @burntarm1n @spooo00oky @eastleighsblog @momo-peachy @kitstar1117 @quartzpirate @sunnyhokyu @iwishiwasrichasfuck @theginger543210 @pandolinka @ddaeing @kpopnightingale @slid3er @kekdo-520 @puppyminnnie @sparklinghwa222 @calicanbeevil @itsvxlentine @atinism @loumin908 @smally97 @rxnexxi @acetruepunk @majesticbeluga @namjooncrabs @tashizxy @itstheghostofmypast @smilefordongil @teeziny @totallynotlyntv @kyeos4ng @prodsh00ky @acescavern

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[daichiduskdrop]

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚⋆·˚ ༘ *𝙎𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡 ⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚

CHAPTER 01

Pairing: BTS Ot7 X fem! reader

Genre: A/B/O AU, Fluff, Angst, Strangers to lovers,

Warnings: pretty much none for this chapter! Just a nice fluffy, protective and sweet chapter :)

A/N: hi everyone! Thank you all so much for your support I received for the prologue chapter I uploaded yesterday. I am really happy and grateful. If you enjoy the story, please let me know. I'm always looking for advice. English isn't my first language so please be patient :))

Also, I saw other people use taglists for accounts, I'm not 100% how it works, but if anyone would be interested I will try to figure it out.

Please take care of yourself. I love you.

Words count: 3385

Prologue:

⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ *

"Hyung? Hello?"

"Hm? What's up? Are you guys on your way? Jin is starting to stress out 'bout it."

His voice sounded calm, not worried one bit. It was obvious he was most definitely sitting by the fireplace, reading some poetry book. Kook got him one not too long ago as a thank-you gift, and before leaving with Yoongi, Jimin did notice it laying on the couch.

The youngest loved and respected his pack alpha, so showing gratitude in any way was very close to his heart. A simple plant for a nice camping-trip-hike Joon planned for them wasn't too unusual, a new pair of limited edition sneakers was granted, or a nice book of poetry, bought at the seasonal book fairs he sneakily visited, so the alpha would be surprised.

Of course, Jungkook often spoiled all of his other pack members, but among the pack, it was quite usual to buy Namjoon occasional small gifts. After all, he was keeping them well-kept, safe, warm, and fed.

Sure, they all may be alphas, suited to take care of themselves, and they did, but sometimes handing off the lead and worries to him was just too tempting. They needed to rent a house for a weekend stay in a different country? Joon would by no means even allow them to try and do it. The pack wants to buy ice-cream? Yes, he will go on and order it for the group, making sure to not forget any of the complicated toppings and flavor combinations.

Namjoon still had occasional mishaps, accidentally breaking new tableware, another controller, or losing his keys over and over, but his pack never took it too wrongly and knew of all the good he brought to them. It always outweighed the clumsiness.

"Yea hyung, we are on our way to the car right now, but-"

It didn't take him too long to notice that Jimin's voice was softer than usual, and even without being able to smell his scent, he was able to sense a sort of worrying undertone.

While he could start firing out questions right away, it wasn't his first day dealing with any issues involving his younger packmates. Everything could be sorted calmly in pretty much every situation, and he was a big believer of that fact. Though when he heard a whimper in the background of the call, he too grew worried. He sat up, putting the small book away. Unconsciously, he paid attention to everyone in the house at the moment; Jin's smell was in the kitchen, the occasional sizzling of oil and pots heard, Taehyung's scent upstairs, a bit too far for him to be able to sense what exactly he was doing, noting of Hobi's bright smell in his studio downstairs, and Jungkook's, also on the bottom-floor gym.

"Jimin-ah? What is it?" He didn't sound too overly concerned, even if he was quite worried. He didn't hear Chim sound so stressed in some time for sure. It was quite usual for the pack alpha's to try to bring peace to the pack, always have a rational mind and calm any agitation and anxiety.

Listening closely, only a bit of shuffling and fumbling noises could be heard.

"Um..- we met an omega..-"

A longer pause continued, and a faint voice of Yoongi in the background. He didn't hear him speaking so softly in a very long time, making Joon's eyebrows furrow only deeper.

"An omega? Are they okay?"

"No, hyung, something is really wrong..- her scent, she is really, really anxious for some reason-"

"Did you try to settle her? She could have entered omega space; you have to be really careful with that. Where are you right now? I'll come there to help."

"Yoongi hyung said it's the best for us to just take her home to us right now; we just got into the car and are leaving the parking lot now." Jimin said with the faint sound of the motor in the background.

"Alright, that's okay. I'll tell others. It's better for her to be somewhere with only a few specific scents than the mix of ones that belong to the group of strangers. Is she crying?" His question was followed by a soft sound of fabric moving. A shorter pause and then a yes.

Sighing, Namjoon stood up and started to make his way towards the kitchen. Jin looked up but didn't say anything after seeing him calling, and continued cutting up a few onions. Opening one of the top cabinets, he took out an essential oil often used for newly presented alphas for when their nose suddenly got bit too sensitive with the heightened smell. It wasn't uncommon for betas or omegas to use such oils or scented candles either, though.

"Poor cub. Just make sure you drive safe, okay? I'll try to get some things ready for her to nest with; that should help. Hyung is still cooking, but it should be done soon, did you buy the batteries for Tae and Koo?"

"Yea, we did, don't worry. We got some more stuff from that new game store for them too, but you'll see at home. Thank you, we will be there in about.. 10 minutes? I think?"

"Alright. Be careful, talk to you later."

Ending the call and folding his phone into his jeans pocket, the pack alpha looked towards his eldest hyung, who was already staring at him with questions written all over his face.

"What is it? I can smell you are worried, Joon."

For a few moments, he didn't answer, still bit too confused about everything. They didn't have an omega at their pack house basically ever.

"At the mall, they found an omega; she must have been really unsettled, so they tried to help. They are taking her here now."

Once again, talking without any noticeable worry in his voice. It was only his scent that carried a slight stench that was offsetting.

"An omega? Where is their pack? We have to notify her pack alpha; this could be serious."

"Yea, I think so too. Can you give her a meal too? We should have enough for one more person, right?"

Jin turned back around to stir the sizzling pan of glass noodles, softly humming.

"Of course, we have more than enough. You should go tell others. I'll go open windows so there is fresh air here, and it's not too scented for her right away."

"Thanks, hyung. I just hope she won't drop, so let's try to prevent that in any way possible."

Agreeing, he left Jin to his thing and started making his way towards the private studios.

Knocking softly on the doors in a short pattern, he didn't wait too long before he opened the entryway. There sat Hoseok, turned towards him. There was an open file on the screen that he was working on for the past few days.

"Hey, what's up?"

Closing the door after him, the pack alpha took a seat on the large black leather couch.

"I just got a call from Jimin; they are on their way back home. They have an omega with them though, they are taking her to the pack house."

Hobi's eyes widened, his mouth opening slightly.

"Really? Why?"

Sitting up slightly, he kept his eyes on Namjoon.

"Minnie said something was really wrong; she was just too unsettled, and they couldn't find her pack I guess either."

"Oh poor thing, they get really stressed in public places; she must have gotten overwhelmed," softly cooing at the thought of a soft, sad, anxious omega. Hobi always had a soft spot for those in need. And from the description, the little omega must be in need for sure.

"Yea, I think so too. Do you have any new blankets and pillows? Or just anything that's unscented still? We have to prepare at least some nesting materials."

"Probably don't have a blanket per se, but I have bought a new hoodie online, so it should be sealed in plastic and unscented. That could help right?"

"For sure, that would be great," smiling, Hobi stood up and took a still unopened carton box. Ripping off the tape and pulling out a white milky plastic package, a paper written note fell onto the ground. Gasping softly, he bent down in the chair. Handing him the package, he looked at the note, smiling softly. "Ah, look, they wrote me a nice note!" his bright heart-shaped smile brightened up Joon's slightly anxious mood immediately.

Chuckling, the man stood up. "They should! You always order so much!" he said as he opened the door to the hallway. "Thanks hyung, they should be here in a few minutes, okay?"

Now turned back towards the screen, he heard a light "Yup!" making him leave the room, closing the door softly. Now on his way towards the gym, the young pack alpha wasn't too worried about the youngest - or any of his pack members in general.

It was a shock for sure, but they were a healthy pack with strong bonds and relationships, and if Yoongi believed it was best to take the omega to their home, then it definitely was that way. They didn't meet a lot of omegas at their company, since they were only allowed to do very few jobs. Omegas required a good, peaceful company of a similar group that was kept constant, and with how many people mingled during the tours and such, it was hard to keep that up.

Sudden omegadrops were then a bit too usual, causing more worries and stress. Really, there were only a minimal amount of omegas in BigHit; it wasn't common for omegas to work in general either. Some packs that were more modern did support the idea, but the traditional ones were used to pretty much taking care of all of their financial needs.

The door of the gym was left slightly open, so Joon knocked to make himself known and entered. Jungkook was leaning against a wall, breathing heavily with a glass of water in hand. His big eyes widened, and he stood up fully, taking a big gulp.

"Hey hyung," breathing heavily, trying to catch his breath, he ran a hand through his long, messy hair.

"Hey Jungkook, Yoongi called me a few minutes ago; they are on their way home right now, but there will be an unsettled omega coming with them too, okay? Something must have gone wrong for her; I think she might drop on them, so they decided taking her to us will be the best right now."

The youngest didn't say much for a few seconds. Placing his glass on the ground, he came closer to his pack alpha, his scent subconsciously wafting out calming pheromones. It was natural for any alpha or beta to try and calm anyone that was just a bit weak and scared. It just happened naturally.

"Omega? They will want to nest then; we should get some stuff ready quickly.."

"Yea, do you have any unscented stuff lying around?" furrowing his eyebrows in thought, Kook closed his eyes thinking. Wiping off sweat from his face with the bottom of his T-shirt, he nodded.

"Yea, I bought new bed sheets; I think they arrived this morning... And I should also have a pillow that isn't scented by any of you, just me if that works?"

"Thanks Koo, that helps a lot. Can you go get it and take it to the guest room upstairs?" Nodding quickly, they both left the gym, Namjoon quickly squeezing his shoulder in approval.

Walking upstairs, the young pack alpha made his way towards the room that Taehyung was in at the moment. Knocking and opening, his packmate was laying on the bed, softly snoring, covered by a few blankets. Coming to his side, he shook his shoulder, waking him up.

"Yah, Taehyung-ah, wake up; it will be dinner soon," the younger slowly opened his eyes, blinking a few times. Sighting out, he sat up, rubbing his eyes and hair out of the way.

"..Huh?" was the only thing the tired man could get out, mumbling incoherent words towards the pack alpha. Knowing he won't get far like this, he sent him to the bathroom to freshen up. He will tell him once he is able to take in information.

Closing the door and making his way back downstairs, he looked at the clock, only to see that it was about 15 minutes since the call. Noticing Jin getting the table ready with Hobi, he placed the packaged jumper on the couch, leaving it there. Taking a seat next to it, he decided to wait for the rest of his pack, listening to any noises from outside.

It didn't take too long until he heard the garage door opening and a car in the entryway. The soft sound of the motor turned off soon, and with that, Joon stood up and walked towards the entry door. He could sense Hoseok and Jin watching him do so.

The cold air hit him; it was still snowing outside, and the strong storm didn't seem to be ending anytime soon. While the nice, snowy Christmas was, in his opinion, superior to the wet, muddy one, it could be dangerous when driving. Knowing so, he watched Yoongi walking towards the entrance, his coat already covered in snow after only a few seconds of being outside. One of his hands was behind his back, seemingly clutching the palm of the omega.

Oh, but the small omega.

His breath hitched in his throat when he could smell her - the sweet, peach-like scent mixed with rose blooms was really nice, but it was covered by the stench of a rotting fruit. She was afraid, anxious, and worried, and the alpha inside of him felt the overwhelming need to keep her safe and secure.

Her hair and scarf covered most of her face, her eyes downcast as she clutched Yoongi's right hand, softly pattering behind him through the shoveled pathway. Jimin closed the garage doors and followed soon after.

Yoongi made short eye contact with Namjoon, only to pull the girl closer to the doors. Stepping out of the way, the alpha addressed her scent, sniffing the top of her head slightly - a traditional way to show she was welcome and allowed to come inside of their packhouse. Her big eyes were still filled with tears, playing with his feelings.

„Hello, what's your name?” Bending to see her face better they stood close to the doors while Jimin and Yoongi started to remove their boots and coats, placing away the plastic bags. Lifting up her chin to place it over the nice thick scarf she wore, she opened her soft lips to speak.

„L/N F-F/N..” the omega mumbled softly, sniffling at the end. The pack alpha was tempted to coo loudly, but held back for now.

„Alright, my name is Kim Namjoon, I'm the pack alpha... What happened hm?” She looked away, with her hands in the pocket, unconsciously bearing her neck just the slightest. When he didn't get an answer, he lifted his hand and softly caressed her cheek with the back of his hand.

„It's okay, don't worry. We will help, yea? Come on, let's get your coat off and eat some dinner, okay?” only receiving a soft mumbled yea, the small omega shakily started to untie her gray scarf, the pack alpha helping her when she started to fumble with it. Softly petting her hair when he noticed the way her chin shook and how her nose was soft pink, her cheeks and eyes red and slightly swollen.

„There, there. It's okay now.“ he couldn't hold back the soft coo at the end of the sentence, watching closely when she unzipped her jacket, taking it from her and hanging it up on a free hanger. Helping her step out of the untied boots, he placed them close to the heater so they would dry up.

Yoongi poked his head through the door to the living room, looking at the omega for a second. Left in a pair of loose fit pants and a oversized pink hoodie with white socks, standing close to Namjoon seemingly worried just as she was back in the mall.

„Let's go eat now. Is japchae okay kitty? Jin made you a plate already come on.” he watched as her eyes grew wider for a second, big and bright, still glossy with few tears. „It-It's okay al-pha..” she softly mumbled, slowly walking towards his outstretched hand. Once she was close enough, he took her own and softly squeezed before pulling her after him.

Namjoon went after them, noticing the footprints left by her. While he thought it was quite cute with how she pattered after his packmate like a little pup, the thought of her feet being wet and cold pushed his instincts once again.

Leading her through the big living room, and towards the right where a big table was, with already most of the pack members close by, preparing for the meal and helping around. Just as she entered the living room, all 4 heads shot up at her scent.

Jin was the first one to move, placing the glass carafe down on the table and wiping his hands quickly, before he made his way to their direction. While Yoongi was still softly pulling her along, she notably stiffened up and slowed down, pretty much stopping her movements if it weren't for Namjoon softly patting her back, encouraging her to move forward.

„Hi F/N, I'm Seokjin, but you can just call me Jin okay? How are you?” his soft gaze was kept on her as she shuffled in her spot, before answering in a quiet voice. „It's nice to m-meet you Jin... I'm we-ll, thank you..” avoiding his gaze, she let Yoongi once again pull her along towards the seat near the head of the table.

Jumping in, Hobi was quick to pull out her chair, helping her take a seat and softly ruffling her hair. „There you go.. do you like juice? We have um.. I think we have orange and apple, maybe even peach one. Would you like some?” Looking up at the bright, smily man the small girl unsurely nodded, turning her head towards the pack alpha for approval. She didn't want to overstep her boundaries. Smiling with his dimples showing, he nodded easily while he poured himself a glass of water.

Meanwhile Jungkook, already a step further, looked through the fridge. „Yea, we have a really tasty peach one, I think you would like that one,” he said as he pulled out the chilled glass bottle, opening it „it's from a farm that's at the outskirts of Seoul. Here, let me pour you a glass.”

„Look at the back for the ingredients, we should be careful with those.” Said Jimin while he pulled out clean cuttlery from a drawer. Omegas were known to be very sensitive in general with pretty much anything - food, sicknesses, air pressure and temperatures and noise and a lot more. A stomachache was not what they wanted to happen.

Turning the bottle and reading the ingredients, Jimin soon looked over his shoulder and too studied them. Once reading over the four -pure white peach extract, water, sugar and vitamin C, they deemed it safe enough, pouring the meek omega a tall glass.

Thanking and slightly bowing in her seat, she took a small sip, and once her expression seemed a bit lighter and satisfied with the taste, the youngest alpha sighed out, patting her head. Taking a seat opposite to her, next to Hobi, he started to serve himself a plate of japchae.

The omega's plate was already filled long ago by the pack alpha, who handed her his cuttlery, getting himself a different set when he noticed she didn't have any at her place.

Just as she was going to dig in after another approval nod, with Yoongi on her left side, she heard another pair of footsteps. Another man, with slightly damp hair entered the living room, pulling out another chair and taking a seat with his eyes still slightly closed, only to have them shot open suddenly, focused on her.

„Why is the omega crying?”

⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ੈ✩‧₊˚✧˚ · .*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Next:

[abbysimsfun]

Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 93 (Finally Coming Clean)

When Conrad arrived home on Friday night, Ash was in the city. He took a shower, joining Heather in the kitchen while she cooked dinner and talked about Ray Pierce, the Landgraabs' driver who she'd met that afternoon. "He seems as nice as Ash says. It's just annoying I had to find out about him from my son and not his father."

Conrad didn't say much; he couldn't exactly chastise Malcolm for keeping secrets from her. Lavender was awake and Conrad practiced sitting with her for a while, putting her to bed as the scent of chicken stir-fry wafted up the stairs.

He went to the kitchen, smiling at the setup of food and candles at their dining table. "You didn't have to do all this." He kissed her cheek. "What's the occasion?"

"The occasion is, I love you. I just wanted to take away a little stress from your day."

He frowned, and his hands went limp around her waist. "Heather, I need to tell you something. The case I told you about that's been driving me crazy...I backed out of it yesterday morning."

She looked at him, confused. "Maybe that's for the best. But it's not like you to give up on a case."

"I had to let this one go. It was kind of...it wasn't an official case. I've been looking for someone off the books for close to six months."

"Why? Is it someone you know?"

He nodded, and she followed him to sit across from him at the kitchen table. "There's so much about my past I haven't been able to tell you. I should have said something long before I moved in, but I'd convinced myself it was totally in my past and would never be an issue."

"What is it?"

"Do you remember that woman who was looking in our windows when you were pregnant? I wasn't sure at the time, but I got the cameras as a precaution, regardless. She started texting me after Lavender was born."

"Who is she?"

He took a deep breath. "She's my ex."

"Conrad, what does she want?"

"Me. She only wants me. But she can't have me so she's..."

"Is she dangerous? Is this the college girlfriend who cheated on you and broke your heart?"

"Same one. Her name's Ximena Bonilla and she's a little...erratic. But she might not be as dangerous as the people she associates with."

"Who does she associate with?"

"Selvadoradian cartels. She's a drug dealer."

The shock and confusion on Heather's face turned to anger. "How do you know her?"

"I met her when I was in college. She said she was a student and convinced me for almost a year. She was raising her kid brother, Rafa, by herself and escaped being trafficked by the cartel by running drugs for them instead. When I found out the students were her customers, I should have broken up with her. But I was in love and I wanted to keep her safe. I didn't leave. I got deep enough that I met some of her bosses and knew about some of their operations, but she cheated on me and it broke the spell. I finally left her, but one of their ops went bad and one of the guys they picked up gave my name to San Myshuno PD."

"Conrad, you don't have a criminal record. I looked you up after we started dating."

"You hacked the police database, too?"

"No...I did a public records search after River made a joke about a hacker and a criminal."

"To this day, I don't know how my father did it. My file's locked under clearance even I don't have, same as anyone else on the force with a past, but Landgraab Security's always had contacts at San Myshuno PD. He pulled enough strings to wipe my record clean and transfer me into the academy. I had to give them a couple names in exchange - street dealers, local guys. No one that would really upset the cartel. But the force had to look like they were managing crime in their city, and that's the only reason I became a cop and not a complete screw up."

"Is the cartel after you? Or just your ex? Did you give them her name?"

"I never gave them her name. I couldn't, because I didn't know what would happen to her little brother if I did. She tried to get me back after I left, but I knew it could never work out. When Gord was still a puppy, she cornered us outside my apartment to get my attention when I brought home another girl. I got a restraining order, but when it expired and she stayed away, I thought she was finally gone for good."

"So why is she back?"

"She asked for my help to find her brother."

"Is her brother even missing?"

"He is missing. He's wanted by San Myshuno PD. I wanted to help him before he was arrested and sent to prison."

"But you were looking for him under the table, as a favour to your ex who sounds obsessed with you? No wonder Gord hasn't left us alone since Lavender was born. He always knew what was going on with you, didn't he? And you never thought to mention any of this to me?"

"Heather, I wanted to, I-"

"Were you going to help this guy avoid prison? How? Criminal connections?"

"Nothing like that. I was hoping to be able to talk to him, encourage him to go back to finish high school, find a solid job, and maybe convince a judge to go easier on him. I really thought I'd be able to find him in a few weeks, maybe a couple months, and we could all move on again. But uncovering leads has been impossible, and his sister's not a reliable source. I'd even started a file on Ximena because I thought once I found her brother I could finally get around to what I should have done more than once and turned her in. But I could see what searching for Rafa and keeping it from everyone was doing to me, so I finally told her yesterday I was done."

"You've been in regular contact with your ex and didn't tell me? And not because there's something between you but because she's dangerous? Conrad, that's worse."

He nodded. "I know it is. I know how not saying anything makes it look, but I'm so ashamed of that chapter of my life. My bad decisions killed my father. After he got me into the academy, his heart got weak. Two heart attacks, and he died within months. As long as I live, I'll know the stress I put him under was the cause."

She was quiet, nervously playing with her food. Neither was hungry anymore. "You should have told me this."

"I'm so sorry. The longer I kept it from you, the more I feared telling you too late to deserve understanding. I love you so much, and I never wanted to do anything to lose you."

They were interrupted when Conrad's phone started beeping. This time, it was work, but he read the dispatch and his stomach dropped.

The phone shook in his trembling hand and Heather stood. "Conrad, what is it?"

"There's a dead body at the pier. I've got to go back to work." A bone-chilling shiver ran down his spine. His heartbeat quickened, as though he knew what he'd find when he reached Fisherman's Wharf. "I'm so sorry, Heather. I want to keep talking about this, but I can't."

She nodded. "I understand."

A pit formed in his stomach. "Will you do me a favour? I know I have no right to ask anything of you, but will you leave for your parents' place in Henford tonight? Don't wait until morning. I'll probably be working all night and I'd rather know you're safe outside of town."

She uncrossed her arms in shock. "Do you think your ex is involved with the body at the pier? Is that why you want us to leave? Lavender's sound asleep already, but you want me to wake her and take her an hour on the Simmerloop when you invested in those security cameras?"

"Heather, please," he begged, reaching for her hand across the table. "If she's anywhere near Brindleton Bay right now, I can't focus on work if I'm worried about the two of you."

Heather looked at him with sad eyes as their fingers brushed against the wood-top table. Betrayal was written all over her face, but she nodded toward the uneaten food and pulled her hand away. "I'll pack this up in the fridge and then I'll take her. Do you think you'll make it to Henford at all this weekend?"

"Heather, I don't know. I hope so. But I can pack this up before I go. Thank you for cooking. I'm sorry we couldn't enjoy it."

"Me too," she snipped. "Good luck. Be careful."

Heather couldn't look at him and Conrad wouldn't press her. As much as he wanted to run after her and beg forgiveness, a deadly crime scene called him to the pier. ->

<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 1 Summary | Gen 1 Start

NOTE: Heather doing a semi-romantic dinner setup wasn't a flirty gesture, but she has the caregiver personality type. I can't remember if this is from a mod or an EA feature, to tell you the truth. I think it's a mod. Conrad has the jester personality type, which I think suits him, too. Conrad is really responsible and respectful which suit his proper trait (which was learned after younger mistakes), but jesters trend toward mischief/"foolish games" in addition to being jokesters. EDIT: It's WonderfulWhims/WickedWhims that adds this!!

WCIF Poses Used? Dinner Table Talks by @herecirmsims. I don't even mind the clipping because their kitchen table and chairs didn't quite fit the dimensions, because the poses gave me the expressions I wanted. I tried way too long to try to get the teleporters in the middle of the chairs, but I got close enough for me. Just ignore the fact that their chests were in their stir-fry for 90 per cent of that convo! Thank you so much for creating and sharing! 🙏

[mins-fins]

★̲ YOU HAVE ONE NEW VOICEMAIL FROM . . . 나재민 !

SEPTEMBER 9, 00:22 AM

HI BABY!! okay um before you purge me and murder my entire family i'm sorry for not calling you yesterday.. it was after the first show and i was exhausted but anyway, how was the concert? did you enjoy it? do you think i did well? do you—[a small shout is heard from behind him] I AM NOT "WHIPPED" SHUT UP! ignore chenle he doesn't know what he's talking about, is it bad that i love my dear partner so much? he's just sad and lonely—AM NOT!— ARE TOO! STOP YELLING AT ME!! you're gonna come tomorrow right? if work doesn't keep you in that is, god i hate your job, and i miss you, i miss you so bad, it's going to be hard to do this when international tour dates start, all we have connecting us is some stupid phone..[another shout is heard from behind him] OKAY FINE! it's too late, we have to wake up early tomorrow, alright bye i love you! sleep well!

NOVEMBER 23, 22:45 PM

haechan totally tried to trip me on stage today, that little shit..anyway, hi baby!! sorry for the like— two calls every week but it's been so hard to find alone time for myself these days, i really like japan though, we should come here sometime for a trip! just me and you, maybe on one of my breaks, if i can even get one. i miss you, having jeno as company is beginning to get boring, i mean, i love jeno obviously but i see him every single day!! i'm literally about to go insane without you here, i'm about to pay for your flight here and make up some excuse to your manager about a family issue or something.. will they even believe that? i don't care, it's been a while since we went anywhere together, just the two of us, also, did i tell you your mom called me? apparently she really liked our performance, she called me to tell me about it!! anyway um, i have no time left, hope you have a good night, i love you!!

NOVEMBER 26, 02:09 AM

jeno snores way too loudly, so no sleep for me, and he also complains so much about everything so now i have to whisper for this, but anyway, i know you're probably asleep as well so it doesn't matter if i send this cause you'll see it in the morning but i don't care! whoops, right, whispering. i can't believe that you can't come to the shows, it's all sooooo boring without you. i always search for you in the audience but then i don't see you and i get upset, you being in the crowd would make everything much better, hopefully you can at find time to get here before the final japanese show this year.. is this corny? i don't think so, i just— i miss you, i say that all the time but i do, a lot. um yeah that's all, i should probably sleep now, i love you!

DECEMBER 2, 21:37 PM

I KNEW YOU HAD SOME STUPID PLAN! i can't believe i didn't even notice you sneaking up on me that was….. i can't start, i'll go on and on forever. how did you even get backstage? did you talk to mark or something? i don't know i guess i'm just— i'm just very surprised, you didn't even tell me anything! i'm not going to lie.. it was such a smart plan, i'm glad you were able to make it, seeing you again was so nice i almost cried having to let go of you, and yeah i tried to contain myself in front of the members but i couldn't, they had to get it though! because when you're partner is right there you can't just stand there and be normal, i did mean to trap you in that hug! god being able to wrap my arms around you again was so nice, you give such good hugs you know? i know you won't be here for long but let's make the most of our time together okay? i'm happy you're here, alright i have to go now, good night, i love you.

DECEMBER 10, 09:30 AM

hi hi!! happy to say that i will be back soon! don't be surprised if i just randomly show up in your house one day, world famous idol na jaemin in your kitchen, making himself some coffee, you might have a heart attack, i hope i don't scare you again, not like that one time after hot sauce promotions ended.. your face was hilarious, i'm sorry for that one baby, i was really just trying to surprise you.. anyway, tour picks back up in february, so we have time to be idiots and go on stupid dates, get chased down by the staff.. okay maybe not that, the last time they almost caught us was funny though. alright um— just wanted to tell you i'll be back soon! i'll make sure to pass by a convenience store and get you ice cream, and yes i'll remember to get cookie dough this time, still not sure what you have against strawberry..alright that's it! i'll see you soon, i love you!!

[foreverisntenough]

‘OURS’

Summary: You were his and he was yours but what would it be like adding one more? Thrust into a whirlwind romance you never could’ve imagined that became your forever love. You continue building a new life across the pond with a very beautiful Scouser. A sequel to the ‘You’re Mine’ fic.

INDEX

Warnings: This series will contain fluff, suggestion, smut (unprotected sex,) pregnancy, parenting, self doubt, body image, mention of the word ‘daddy,’ angst, alcohol consumption - not sure what else really… if i miss anything please lmk!

Note: Thank you for reading! Please be sure to like, comment, or message me what you think of the series! Try not to nitpick with any real pregnant/ baby logistics it’s better if you just read along happily :)

Extra warning! The end of this chapter touches on mental health struggles and body image issues. It’s a little dark so if that is at all potentially triggering to you please be advised and do not interact.

Chapter 18 - Where Is She | ‘Ours’

You boarded the plane for your flight back to England with Trent, Teddy, and Dianne. It was nice you were able to spend time after the game and get to see your friends but you were also pretty tired. Teddy had just woken up from her afternoon nap when the plane took off.  She was so much more communicative now you couldn’t believe it but it was also really fun and exciting to watch her learn so you’d pepper her with silly questions all day and she loved talking. Most of the time it was babbles interspersed with a few words but you could understand what she was getting at.

“Where’s nana sitting, Ted?” You asked her as she stood looking around. Dianne was in a seat facing away from Teddy so it wasn’t inherently obvious. She was able to indicate that she knew exactly what you were talking about. She walked a little bit towards her and then pointed excitedly when she found Dianne. You laughed when she came running back towards you and Trent. 

“Mama! Mama!” She was adamant about getting your attention. She tugged on your shirt excitedly despite your focus already being on her. She looked up at you with her big brown eyes, the same ones as Trents. It felt like yesterday she was born and you could remember seeing her for the first time, seeing her striking resemblance to him for the first time. The fact that that same tiny little girl could stand and walk on her own now was insane. 

“Yes, baby?” You gently asked her, running your hand over her head careful not to ruin her two pigtails Dianne did this morning. Teddy told you Nana was down at the other end of the plane incredibly enthusiastically. 

“Teddy girl, did you find me? You’re so smart. How did you find me?” Dianne cooed, leaning over for Teddy to see her. Teddy giggled proud of herself. 

“Dada! Nana!” Teddy pointed at Dianne for Trent to look as well. It was important that Trent saw her amazing discovery. 

“Wow! Good girl, Ted.” Trent laughed. “Do you wanna go sit with Nana?” Trent asked her and her face lit up running back down towards Dianne who scooped her up into her lap.

“Come here, you.” Dianne cooed, situating Teddy on her lap. She looked at you and Trent who were exhausted. “So last night was fun?” She asked not having heard about it all day. You just kind of forgot to discuss any further once you were back with Teddy. 

“Too fun.” You giggled rolling your head to the side. She smiled and turned back around. Trent pinched your side at the cheek. You weren’t really referring to your dinner or the club, you were talking about your night once you got back to the hotel, that was too fun and you had the markings to prove it.  “I love you.” You whispered to Trent before you pressed a soft kiss onto his shoulder. 

“Come sit with me.” He smiled and pulled you into his lap. You giggled and cozied up to him giving him another kiss this time to his lips. “I love you so much more.” You rolled your eyes. He wasn’t saying this because he loved you so much more. He did love you but this was to ‘win’ the who loves the other more debate. You tapped at his chest. He smiled again and it made you pout it was so cute. He kissed your hair. You rested our head on his shoulder and Trent reached over you to fix the strap of your top that had fallen. You kissed his arm that was outstretched in front of you while he was fixing it. It was in these silences that you felt you could tell you loved each other more than you ever could put into words. He leaned back into the seat and sighed keeping one arm wrapped around your waist, the other just resting on his thigh. You traced the lines on his rested hand’s palm with your finger and smiled. You wish you could memorize every inch of him down to the pattern of these lines. You laid your palm over his, comparing your hand sizes. Yours being significantly much smaller. You giggled when he collapsed his fingers around yours suddenly. “What are you doing, silly girl?” he whispered. 

“I like your hands.” You whispered back to him inspecting his hand that was now laced with yours. The back of your hand was facing upwards so you could see your engagement ring tucked between his fingers. It made you swoon a little when you saw it paired with his hand. You got distracted from your assessment of his hands though when a tiredness continued to wash over you and only grow stronger.  You cuddled into him sleepily. You listened to his slow breathing and the hum of the plane lulling you into sleep. Trent followed you or maybe he had gone before you, you weren't sure.

“Your daddy loves your mummy so much. Did you know that?” Dianne cooed seeing you and Trent embraced and asleep. She remembered meeting you and being awestruck by your natural beauty. You weren’t like the other girls that had been around. There was a type of woman that circulated in the football community and she was sure they were all lovely people but there was something about your normalcy that put her at ease. Seeing Trent so affectionate was shocking. He never had the time or never cared to devote his attention to someone the way he did for you. She wondered what it was. What was the draw? Obviously over the years she got to know you and she watched her son fall madly in love with you. What made Dianne smile though was when Trent would share all the reasons he loved you. They were all incredibly insignificant human actions and yet he thought the things you did were ethereal. The way your lips curled with a smile while you took a drink from a glass listening to someone tell a story, the way your nose scrunched when it was too sunny, the way your hand fit perfectly in his, the way you would always fall asleep on him before a film would end. It was the color of your nails, the sound of your voice, the way you smelt. These are things everyone did or had but it was all so very different because it was you. You were what made him fall in love. She looked on as you two fit perfectly together in his seat. It was strange to look at Trent and see her little boy and yet there she was holding his little girl just the same age that she’d always imagined him to be. 

“Leaving so soon?” He cheekily asked with a dumb sleepy smile. You shook your head ‘no’ and scooted a little further from him. You woke up with still a bit of time left on the flight. You kissed Trent’s forehead and moved back to your own seat. Your movements initially waking him. You checked your phone for emails and texts, mundane things. When your phone pinged though it was like an alarm bell for Teddy. She noticed that you were finally awake. She was squirming in Dianne’s arms dying to get back to you and Trent. 

“Someone has been patiently waiting for mummy and daddy to wake up.” Dianne sang, letting Teddy run down the aisle of the plane. That was a lie. She wasn’t patient at all. She napped for a bit but all she wanted to do was spend time with you two. She loved Dianne but having you in such close proximity but not having your attention drove her nuts. 

“Oh thank you for waiting, sweet girl. Want to come sit with me?” You cooed as she eagerly climbed up onto your lap with little grunts of determination. You could’ve helped her but you figured she could do it on her own. She didn’t answer your question verbally but the little girl with her face smushed in your boobs was an answer in itself. You landed, Teddy cried, but you made it home eventually. 

“You know that man from Condé Nast emailed me.” You spoke to Trent aloud as you skirted around the kitchen island beginning to make dinner. Teddy was sitting with bright eyes excited watching you pull out all the food letting her try bits of it all for your meal. Trent sat at the island next to her on his phone checking the update from the England team about their upcoming travel details. 

“Oh yeah? What’d he say?” Trent asked you sincerely but kept his gaze on his phone. He was reading an email about their departure in a few days time. He needed to get to St. George’s and then they were flying to Norway for a friendly. 

“He just asked how I was, you and Teddy as well but really he was asking if I gave any thought to the piece he wants to write. He told me he wants it to be like a full spread. He’s already gotten the green light to run it. He obviously just needs me but… why me? Don't you think he can just use someone else?” You rambled for way too long and Trent was doing his best to follow your train of thought.  

“No one is you though. Baby, you’re one of one. Of course he’s interested in you… for an article.” Trent clarified and you gave him a sly smile. “Baby, I think it’d be nice for you. Maybe you should see it out.” Trent finally picked his head up and looked at you encouragingly. 

“Maybe…” You turned back to the stove and were quiet for a moment. “Maybe I’ll tell him after the wedding I’ll meet with him and we can go from there.” You told Trent but you also told yourself. You replied to his email later in the night and awaited his reply. He got back to you the next day and was ecstatic in his response. He even sent along his outline of what he wanted to discuss when you met eventually. It was a weird feeling, of feeling confident yet incredibly insecure. You spent days rereading his outline wondering what kind of questions he’d ask under each of the categories and how you would answer them. Trent left to head down south to St. Georges and like you had told Denise in Madrid, you had planned to fly to New York, taking Teddy with you. Teddy didn’t love to travel, mostly the taking off and landing really bothered her. If her ears popped it was a nightmare but she was getting a lot better at it given the frequency at which you were doing it. 

“Send her flowers or something that she likes.” You cooed looking into your phone. You were laying in your new Manhattan apartment courtesy of Trent. You had your mum handle a lot of the furnishings like the moldings and painting but now that you were there you finally could decorate it just how you and Trent wanted it to be so that was on your docket as well as wedding appointments for the week. Jude and Trent were together Facetiming you laid on the couch with Teddy cuddled up on your chest.

“I always send her flowers.” Jude responded in a very defeated tone. You watched Trent’s face pull into an adorable smirk trying his very best not to poke fun at Jude for keeping the fact that he had even been sending flowers to Lauren at all in the first place a secret. 

“Okay… well sorry? I didn’t know that because you’ve told us nothing!” you teasingly raised your voice at him fulfilling Trent’s desire to joke about this. Teddy rustled on your chest not thrilled with the volume of your voice. 

“No mama, shhhh.” Her face crumpled into a very unimpressed but simultaneously very cute pout. Her little hand pulled at the collar of your t-shirt. Trent laughed at Teddy reprimanding you. You kissed her forehead and apologized. 

“Laurennnnn” You sang bouncing Teddy on your hip as you shut the front door of her apartment after accepting flowers from the delivery man a few days later.

“What?” She asked you from the kitchen. She thought you just wanted her to listen to you, not come and find you. You settled and walked to the living room where you could see into her open kitchen. 

“Are you dating a certain Mr. Jude Bellingham?” You giggled in a mocking tone she didn’t appreciate. She rolled her eyes at your comment before she pulled her head out from the refrigerator after getting herself a seltzer water. 

“What?” She said preemptive to looking at you. Her face fell into a pout quickly seeing you holding a gorgeous floral arrangement. “Oh… Those are pretty. Are they from…” She paused like she didn’t want to say his name. She was so hesitant. So un-Lauren.

“Your boyfrrienddd!?!??!” You cooed cheekily, bouncing Teddy more who was loving your excitement. She clapped. You imagine she probably thought you guys were celebrating something and to a degree you should’ve been. 

“Y/N...”  Lauren dragged out your name silently asking you to not make a big deal. You threw your head to the side with a scoff. You were annoyed. How much more did she want from him? Lauren told you about their conversation in the club and about the evening they had following it but she said they kind of just proceeded as normal after that. Jude dropped her off at the airport's departures a couple of days after the match and kissed her goodbye. That was that. She didn’t know what they were referring to each other as now. She didn’t know if dating meant they could see other people and she didn't want to ask. Lauren couldn’t suppress her smile though as she took the flowers out of your hand and brought them to her kitchen table. She plucked the card tucked in them and bent over leaning her forearms on to the surface to read it.  She shut her eyes in a blissful way and ran her one hand over her face bashfully. Naturally you were curious what elicited such a reaction. You walked over and snatched the card from her in the same way she did to you years ago in your own apartment when Trent had sent you something.  

‘I want to take my girlfriend on holiday this summer. Let me know what she says xx JB’ 

“So what are you going to tell JB, huh?” You hummed inquisitively to her emphasizing the nickname you'd never heard before. Okay, it was very cute. Her response was merited and you understood why she was so smitten reading it. You handed her back the card. 

“It’s just what I put his contact as in my phone as when we first met on the holiday in Greece. I didn’t want to be weirded out texting that name or someone steal my phone and get his information. I don't know, it was stupid really but it became a joke between us and stuck.” Lauren kept trying to explain something she didn’t need to but you figured that was enough of the teasing. You were surprised that she had been so considerate or aware about keeping Jude ‘safe’ if someone were to find her phone. The fact that she was even thinking about that so early on made you think that maybe she had much more than a lustful crush to begin with. 

“Laur, it’s really sweet. I like it. You should call him, maybe. I’m sure they’re doing nothing right now.” You cooed with a soft smile. This was really good for her. You didn’t want to deter her from pursuing it. You were texting Trent about something not pertaining to this but you knew the boys were sitting around doing nothing at the England camp. 

“So you know they’re doing nothing clearly…” Lauren looked at you with a smug knowing look calling you out. 

“I do!” You giggled, finding it a little funny. “I didn’t do anything else though! Note, flowers, etc.. all JB.” You smiled and as much as she didn’t want to, Lauren smiled back. “And Laur, he’s so prettyyyyy.” You cooed with a pout. 

“He is really pretty.” Her smile only growing. She laughed and shook her head walking away from you and Teddy. “Stay down here for a second.” She instructed you before she ran upstairs to her lofted bedroom. You could obviously only hear her end of the conversation but that was enough to keep you intrigued. You sat on the bottom of the steps with Teddy ready to listen intently. 

“Hi… No, thank you… yeah, it was really sweet… your girlfriend said you need to do less but she’d want to go.” Lauren giggled. You’d seen her with Jude before, of course, plenty of times but it was always in really high energy places. At matches, clubs, parties, or around a ton of other people, especially other guys, it wasn’t a true reflection of them. Hearing Lauren’s voice go so soft and calm almost made you want to cry. You couldn’t believe they had kept this so low key. There was so much emotion behind her words. You were eager to ask Trent if he knew how much was going on. He would’ve told you if he did but you couldn’t believe how comfortable she was on the phone. “I wish I could kiss you…”  Your ears perked up again. She sounded so… loving. “Yeah, can’t wait to see you in two weeks… No, tell your mum I’ll send her the one I like, she’ll like it better…. Okay, bye JB.” She hung up and you heard her lay back flat onto her mattress. Jude had promised he’d ask Lauren to be his girlfriend in person officially but this was pretty cute and Lauren was infatuated.  You ran up the stairs giddy with a silly smile eliciting lots of giggles from Teddy. 

“What’s so funny cutie girl, huh?” Lauren cooed with a smile that was on her face you’d rarely see. She was beaming and it wasn’t caused by the little girl she grabbed out of your arms. You looked at her smug. “We’re not doing the approach you did. I want nothing, no one can know I exist in his world.” Lauren clarified to you without you even asking a question. 

“Yeah, okay. Good luck with that.” You laughed, shaking your head. Lauren laughed as well she knew it was farfetched especially considering the scale of Jude’s fame but she’d do her best. She collapsed into your lap bringing Teddy with her. She kissed Teddy’s cheek again and again. Teddy calling out ‘mama’ on repeat muddied in giggles for you to save her from Lauren’s kisses. 

“Oh my god! We can go to the world cupppppop together!!” You squealed excitedly about your revelation. As much as you loved going to the England games with Trent’s family, going with Lauren sounded like a lot of fun especially on quite literally the world's biggest stage. The next world cup was next year and now that Lauren was with Jude that would make it that much better.

“Isn’t that like treachery against the US?” Lauren joked with a coy smile. 

“Oh shut up!  Also, I’m a dual citizen, so are you, you're not English but nevertheless a dual citizen.” You attempted to rationalize supporting England in an international tournament with a very poor argument.  

“That doesn’t make me want to support England?” Lauren rebutted pretty fairly. She had no ties to England. Her parents were French so if anything she was going to support their native country but that wasn't really the point of your comments to begin with. 

“You don’t want to support…” you paused. “Your boyfriennddd?” You cheekily sang squeezing her side. You both let out an embarrassingly childish giggle as if this was the first time either of you were talking to a boy. Teddy was thrilled with the laughter. She laid on her tummy kicking her legs joining the giggles. 

“What the fuck!' Lauren whined then frantically covering Teddy's ears to prevent her from hearing Lauren's curse words. "You did this to me! This is so embarrassing. I’m down so bad.” Lauren laughed a little more covering her face with her hands embarrassed she had become so smitten by Jude. “You introduced us, you bitch! When he breaks my heart it'll be your fault.” You rolled your eyes. Jude was not going to hurt her, even if things were to fizzle out he was way too nice of a person to let it be messy. Lauren got a text from him and her phone screen glowed facing upward on her bed..

“Wait… Lauren he’s your fucking background!?!? You loser! Obviously this man’s your boyfriend. Who puts anyone but their significant other as their background like this! Oh my days!” You screamed at her. It was ridiculous she tried to play this off as long as she had and even more ridiculous she had gotten away with it. Your long distance relationship with her aiding and abetting her secrecy but it was out now and they were together now. 

You returned back home after your trip to the US and Trent did the same from international duty. You were so relieved to be back together. It often felt like your world stopped turning when you were apart. You talked constantly when you could but just being so physically distant was horrible. He came home early in the evening and you put Teddy down for sleep together. She was a little fussy wanting to stay up to be with him but eventually she couldn’t fight her own tiredness and she was out like a light. Trent stood behind you at the doorway of her room with his hands wrapped low around your waist. He rested his chin on your shoulder pressing his lips against your neck softly and slowly repeatedly. 

“You know, the past week all it’s been is ‘daddy, daddy, daddy.’ She missed you so much, T.” You cooed, turning around to face him. You cupped his cheek and looked deep into his eyes.

“Yeah? And what about mummy? Mummy miss me?” He asked cheekily, ghosting his lips over yours. His hands dropping lower off the small of your back down to your ass. 

“Yeah, missed daddy so much.” You draped your arms over his shoulders and hummed as he pulled you gently out of your daughter's doorway. Trent’s lips moved back to your neck. Slowly he dragged his tongue over your skin. The smell of him was completely intoxicating. “T…” You attempted to stifle a moan when he began to nibble on the most sensitive part of your neck. He picked you up and brought you into your bedroom. He shut the door and he laid you onto the mattress. You giggled as you bounced slightly from the force of the drop. He crawled over you beginning to kiss you again before he pulled away. 

“Who did you miss? Tell me.” He commanded as his big hands dragged the material of your shirt up revealing your bra. He pulled the cups of your bra down letting your tits fall out. Your nipples quickly hardening as he began to play with them. 

“Daddy.” You giggled initially jokingly but your voice transitioned fast into a moaned when he began to nibble on your earlobe and massage your tits slowly. 

“Yeah? You want daddy to take care of you?” He whispered with a conniving grin, grinding on top of you. You couldn’t believe this man had you like this. Begging for daddy? Who were you? Well, you were his. You were his and you loved every second of this. 

“I think you do, baby.” He cooed, moving his kisses from your ear to your neck, across your jaw, over to your lips. “I think you like it when I come home and have you like this. You pretend you don’t like saying it but I think it gets you off, hmm?” Do you get turned on calling me daddy?” He mocked you with an incredibly and unfairly handsome face. You two were kidding around with the whole 'daddy' thing but also if you were being honest... it kind of did. You shook your head definitely and unconvincingly, unable to keep a sly smile at bay. He reached between your two bodies beginning to play with your clit. Your arousal was dripping and you couldn’t stop yourself from pushing your hips up into his hand desperately. He pulled back and sat on his heels in front of you. He pulled his shirt off over his head and you felt yourself somehow manage to get even more wet than before. You reached forward greedily towards him grabbing at his sweatpants. “Nah, nah, nah, baby. I’m in charge here, you know that.” He smiled at you. He slinked off his sweats before he pinned both of your hands above your head with his one hand. Your heart faltered, excited he was in this kind of mood. You loved when he took control. Trent slapped his cock against your entrance a few times. His cock covered with your slick. He dragged his length through your folds before he slowly pushed inside of you. You gripped his hand above you holding yours. 

“Fuck, T…” You whined, not exactly ready to be stretched so suddenly by him. It was the perfect type of pleasurable pain though. He began to thrust into you slow giving you some time to adjust but not nearly enough. “Oh my god, you feel so good.” You squirmed under him, wiggling your hands to try to break out of his hold. You needed to cover your mouth. You weren’t sure you were going to be able to be quiet and you didn’t want to wake Teddy. 

“I fucking needed you, baby.” He grunted. “Needed you so bad all day.” Every push and pull of his cock made you reel in pleasure. He reminded you with every thrust you were his. Trent wanted to fuck you all night but with the way your pussy was tightening around him he knew he wouldn’t last all that long. He bent over and latched onto one of your nipples. He licked and sucked them, finally dropping the grip of his hands from above your head. You moaned when he let that hand drop between you again and his fingers returned to your clit.  “Can you cum f’me, baby? Cum f’me, beautiful.” He asked you and almost like magic, you felt your high crash over you like a tidal wave. Every inch of you lit up. You snatched your hand down in an attempt to cover your mouth and muffle your whines. Trent continued to thrust into you relentlessly extending the pleasure. 

“Oh T…” you whimpered coming down. The way you said his name made the impossible possible. His cock even harder than before. The aftershocks of your orgasm lingering building a damn of tears on your lash line. “I love you so much. Please cum inside me, baby.” You begged him and his eyes lit up, his perfect pout slightly agape, his skin shiny with a sheen of sweat. He was absolutely drool worthy fucking you into oblivion. You gripped his hair desperately wanting more of the way his length perfectly hit deep inside you again and again. 

“You have no idea how much I love you, baby. Gonna cum, yeah? Cum with me.” He muffled against your skin leaving kisses along your jawline. “Cum f’me one more time.” He asked you before he pressed his forehead against yours and you felt him release inside you. He carried on fucking you, continuing through the length of his high. The sounds of his cock pumping in and out of your soaked pussy leaking of his cum was all incredibly lewd. Your own orgasm quickly following feeling him throb inside of you. It was blinding white and completely and utterly addictive.

“Mmmm, my baby.” You giggled out of breath feeling his weight crush you as he laid on top of you before he pulled out and collapsed over to the side of you. You watched his chest rise and fall before crawling back over to him. Needing to be closer once again fully satisfied. You giggled kissing his neck. “That was good, daddy.” You teased him.

“Alright, enough…” he laughed at you pulling you into him a little more and dragging the now crumpled sheets back over the two of you. He cheekily whispered to you why you couldn’t call him that for a little while. 

“All mine, forever.” You cooed pressing a final kiss to his lips before you fell asleep completely worn out on his chest. 

It was late April and very sweetly Winnie had organized a Bridal shower for you in Liverpool. She, Lauren and your mum all flew over. A few of your aunts as well. Dianne, of course and some of her friends. A couple of other wags from the Liverpool and England teams were invited. It was small but still sizable. Maybe it was a family thing but Winnie had a knack for throwing parties. I guess maybe all three of you did; your mum, Winnie, and yourself. It was gorgeous. It was all very boho but girlie. A brunch in your back garden. Winnie captured the whole scene on her film camera and you were already so excited to see those photos. Photography was Winnie’s life. She worked as a model when she was around 17 till a couple years ago when she met someone who introduced her to it as a possible career and then she studied it at university. She was really talented but frankly, you think she liked the power it gave her holding onto all these memories to develop and dole out. At the end of the lovely brunch Winnie had gotten cupcakes that were perfectly delicious as they were beautiful. Of course, you had to let Teddy have a few bites of yours at the party. She was insistent. 

“Mama, yum!” She looked at your greedily eating it. You weren’t sure though if she ate it or just mushed it around but either way it made her happy. When you got home though she was begging for more. You gave her a tiny bit more, you were a sucker and she had you wrapped around her tiny little finger but regardless she devoured it. Icing everywhere, naturally. You were itching for her to be finished so you could clean up the mess she was making in your kitchen.  

“Can you come here, baby, please?”  You cooed, turning around to look at Teddy. She was able to climb on and off chairs without help now so you thought it was important to ask her to do these things on her own. She had a very happy smile on her face but it was paired with very very sticky hands from all the icing.  She ran towards you, hands out eager for a hug. “Wait, wait, wait, Ted!” You giggled. “Come here, let me wash your hands first then I’ll give you the biggest cuddle, yeah?” 

“Mama, wash pleabs!” she stretched her arms up to you. You picked her up and held her out to watch her hands over the sink. You were wearing a white linen corseted maxi dress with flower detailing. It was gorgeous in your opinion but definitely something you didn’t exactly want Teddy’s very cute, yet very grubby hands on. You hadn’t had a chance to change from the shower yet. 

“Wow, am I lucky or what?” Trent cooed coming home from training into the kitchen to see you holding Teddy. The way you were bent over the sink holding her was a sight. The corseted top of the dress had your tits practically spilling out. Since having Teddy your boobs were bigger to say the least and Trent wasn’t exactly complaining.

“Hiii baby.” You sang seeing him coming in. He came over and took Teddy from you now enjoying the fruits of your labor with her newly clean hands. Her palms grabbing at his face eagerly pushing her lips out awaiting her kiss from her daddy.

“Gimme a big kiss, Ted. Mwah! Did you know you have the most beautiful mummy ever?”  You swatted at Trent dismissing his silly comment. 

“My mama!” Teddy cooed, reaching back out to you in his arms. The more she talked the more she liked to tell you how you and Trent were hers. Her mummy and daddy and every single time without fail it made you just want to squish her in the tightest possible hug loving that she was all yours. It got late so you laid Teddy down for sleep. Marcel and George came over to watch a series, Trent and they had started the other week in the cinema. You came in later on. Frankly, you had no interest in the show they were watching but you wanted a cuddle with Trent. You snuck into the dark room half way into an episode and slinked onto the couch Trent was on cozying up to him. He didn’t say anything. He just kissed your hair and situated the blanket he was under over both of you. After about one full episode you were falling asleep on him. 

“Why don’t you go upstairs to bed, baby? I’ll be up in a little.” Trent quietly whispered to you, running his hand over your head. You shook your head ‘no’ not very keen on leaving your very comfortable position right now. “Okay, so you just want me to carry you up when I go?” Trent let out a silent breathy laugh. You cuddled further into him adamant that you were not going to move and your silence was his answer. Yes, he was going to have to do just that. As you fell further into sleep you pawed at his chest letting out a sleepy whine of his name. He smiled and peeked around to see if Marcel or George had noticed or heard your whimper. Neither had. The show was quite loud and Trent was amazed you were even able to sleep in the noise. “I’m right here, baby.” He coddled you pulling you tighter to him pressing a kiss to your forehead. Two episodes in and a few bickering conversations between the boys later,  you were fast asleep. 

“Daddy...” You let out a quiet mumble in your sleep. If there wasn’t a lull in the dialogue of the show they were watching Marcel and George probably wouldn’t have heard you. Trent smiled looking down at you, assuming this was the same as earlier. You were talking in your sleep thinking about the father of your daughter not in an overtly sexy way but that didn’t matter to the other boys. It was still being said and they still heard it. Trent thought it was endearing, they did not.

“Oh my days, bro… No… we’re not doing this.” George snapped his head to look back towards you two. Marcel of course quickly followed. Hearing your brother or friend being called daddy when their child wasn’t around definitely was a little jarring and probably merited the response Trent received. 

“I swear to god I’m not touching her!” Trent quipped quickly coming to defend himself. George would never let go of the blanket cinema incident and hearing you whine ‘daddy’ behind him in the dark room was not something he wanted. Trent held his hands up in innocence. The boys didn’t care, they were not in the mood to put up with you and Trent’s nonsense while they were trying to watch a show. They eventually just mocked Trent for a good long while until they had to rewind the show after missing some key plot point but they moved on, they watched another episode, George headed home, and Marcel opted to sleep over. Trent carried you upstairs when he finally decided to get to bed. He held you in his arms but he felt a weird sense of sadness wash over him when he picked you up. You looked frail. He knew you were taking a lot better care of yourself since you had the fight after Teddy had been born but it wasn’t lost on him how thin you had gotten. He could always pick you up easily, that wasn’t really it. It was the way you were wearing yourself down. The stress of the wedding and Teddy maybe was just getting too much. His eyes narrowed, laying your sleeping frame down in your bed. He was worried but you said you were fine, you had been acting fine, you’d been eating fine. He told himself you were fine but he promised himself he was going to keep an extra close eye on you, noticing it so clearly now. 

Winnie came back to England to stay with you a month or so later for the week ahead of the FA Cup final. It was almost the end of another season. This one seemed to fly by. Each game nestled between the wedding planning and your growing baby's milestones. Each match week buzzed by without a thought. Liverpool was set to finish 3rd in the League which was fine, not ideal, but they qualified for Champions League next season. Back in early March they had won the Carabao Cup but they really wanted a 2nd trophy so the FA Cup had become more important than you initially had thought. The final was down at Wembley in London and Jadon had planned to meet you there. It was a little bit of a double edged sword for him having his season basically over now knocked out of all his club’s other tournaments only with league play left but he figured he’d come home to London and see Winnie and simultaneously catch the game with you all. 

“Mama, up!” Teddy yelled for you standing in your kitchen with Winnie. She was so vocal now even if she was being a bit demanding it was still pretty cute to see her becoming her own person, developing her personality.   

“Okay! Okay! Needy girl. Goodness.” You laughed, picking her up and placing her on your hip.  

“What’s that?” She asked you curiously. Pointing repeatedly at a box of biscuits you had recently bought from the store till you answered her. She definitely could comprehend more words than she could say and she needed to know about everything. To say she was curious was an understatement. She would just point repeatedly at something until you named it for her. She’d file all the information you’d tell her away for later. ‘Nngh.” Teddy grunted trying to reach for a biscuit on the counter. “Biscuit, mama!” she begged looking at you like you were somehow wronging her for not already giving one to her.

“Yeah? You want a biscuit, huh? Hungry girl.” You cooed. You gave her a small piece placing her back down and told her to sit while she ate it. You had to get on your way down to Wembley soon and needed to drop Teddy off at Dianne’s which was always going to be a little bit of an ordeal. She was well behaved and listened well but being away from both mummy and daddy was not exactly her favorite thing, no matter how much she loved her nana. 

“Can we show Win where your shoes are?” You asked her excitedly after she finished eating. Teddy knew right where her shoes were in the mudroom. She scampered off echoing your excitement giggling with a squeal. She went to go and grab them when you asked her to, picking up her tiny little samba trainers and running back to Winnie eager to show her just how smart she was. Winnie naturally gassing Teddy up about how amazing she was for doing so, helping her put her shoes on. Trent had gone earlier the day to London with the team to prepare for the competition. To Winnie’s delight, Jadon had planned a night out for them and invited you along. You agreed to go to dinner without thinking much of it. Dianne wasn’t traveling for the game so she had offered to take Teddy for the night. It was meant to be a fun time, it was meant to be a good time, it was meant to be a night out before you watched your fiance win another trophy. After a tearful goodbye to Teddy, you and Winnie got on your way. You had a great dinner with Jadon and Winnie at a chic restaurant tucked away at a table in the back. It was really nice. You got to know Jadon a bit more, taking mental notes on what you were going to report back to Trent about their relationship. You and Winnie probably drank too much. Okay, in retrospect, you drank way too much. A friend of Jadon’s texted him that they had a table at a club nearby in Shoreditch about half way through your dinner. At that point you had a bottle of wine, maybe two, you can’t remember but you didn’t have Teddy, Trent was already off to bed ahead of the match, it couldn’t hurt to have a night out with your sister and whatever Jadon was to her. Then you found yourself surrounded by people your age living completely different lives. The club was dark. It was body to body yet you felt completely alone. You were planning to walk down the aisle and teaching your daughter how to talk and here everyone around you was talking about who was fucking who in the bathroom.

“Yo, this your new bird, Sanch?” One boy asked eyes narrowing on Winnie’s frame. She was in leather pants and a black tank top with no bra. Her waist impossibly small. She looked good. Winnie always looked good. 

“Yeah she’s with me.” Jadon confirm content and a bit smug with the way Winnie looked and the fact that she was with him. 

“That bird's leng, mate, who is that with her?” Another friend asked him, eyeing up you as Winnie whispered in your ear. 

“Nah, mate. She’s spoken for. That’s Trent Alexander-Arnold’s gal.” The friends Jadon was speaking to eyes widened as they processed who you were. You were in a black bralette and cargo pants. The lights from the club illuminating the rise of your highlighted collarbones and shoulder blades. You laughed at something Winnie said but went quiet quickly after she told you she was going to talk to Jadon. She draped her arms around his shoulders, her lips quick to find his neck. You felt silly feeling so alone when she left. Your phone pinged again and again but you couldn’t clear your vision enough to read it. Trent texting you again and again. 

‘Y/N, where are you? Did you make it back to the hotel?’ 'Baby, can you please answer... Just trying to make sure you're okay.'

You had said goodnight to Trent before your entrees at dinner had even arrived. He tried to sleep, he really did but he couldn’t knowing you were out and weren’t responding. It wasn’t like you. The thought of you out in London being the caliber of drunk where you were not responding to him was making him sick. And just like that, your phone died and your location disappeared off his find my friends app. The table you were at probably wasn’t a scene you should’ve been in but you couldn’t pull yourself out of it. Winnie and Jadon were tangled up somewhere else in the roped off area and would check in sporadically but you didn’t even know where you were. This wasn’t smart, you were a mum. It kept ringing in your head again and again. ‘You are a mum.'

“Erm… Yeah, Hi… can you get away from her? Thank youuu.” Winnie cooed with a slight drag of her words physically moving a man away from you. You were slumped on a velvety couch surveying over the crowds of people in the club. The masses blurring together. You hadn’t even noticed the fourth man of the night trying to talk to you. “Y/N, you need to get back to the hotel…” Winnie cooed softly in your ear grabbing at your arm,

“Win, I’m fine.” You slurred. Jadon came up behind Winnie and looked at you. He had deterred the first three men of the night. Men would come up with propositions and drinks in hand sitting next to you. Far too close for anyone’s liking including your own. You’d told the first one you were taken, the second you told you had a baby, by the third you couldn’t see straight, you weren’t sure what was said. 

“Y/N, babe, maybe let’s get some water or something and get you back home, yeah?” Jadon leaned over and brushed some of your hair off your shoulder. You looked at both of them slightly confused why they were so concerned. You stood up on wobbly legs. Winnie kept hold of your arm to try to steady you. 

“Where are you going? Let me go with you.” Winnie cooed trying to talk to you but you were the type of drunk that you couldn’t hear and you could barely see. Light's were on... nobody was home. You said nothing and just went off to the bathroom. Winnie looked at Jadon concerned but he tried to reassure her everything was okay. You all were drunk, it was hard for anyone to have a clear head at this point. This was a mess. The sound of the club's music and bass was shaking your entire body. It didn’t take much for you to get drunk but you were completely gone. You thought you knew where you were going, the route to the bathroom but suddenly you found yourself outside practically gasping for air. You started crying unable to catch your breath. You looked down at your body and felt sick. You were completely alone yet surrounded by the millions of people in the city of London. You got sick in front of yourself narrowly avoiding your heels. Winnie called and called your phone but it was dead, she couldn't reach you. It was then she began to panic. Why didn’t she go with you? You slid your back down the exposed brick wall outside. You could feel the cement filling between each brick drag on your skin peeling your skin. You were balling your eyes out. You had no gauge of where you were. You went from your sister holding your arm to standing outside shivering confused, hating yourself not only for every decision you made tonight, but every poor one you made in your entire life. You leaned your head back onto the wall and closed your eyes. Tears still managing to seep out. It wasn’t until a black cab stopped in front of you out on the street that you snapped back to reality, barely. You had no idea how long you were outside alone for.  An older man rolled down his car window. He looked like the typical cabbie. 

“Hun, you alright? Can I bring you somewhere?” He cooed softly in the loud city night. You picked your head up and locked eyes with him. This was a 50/50. This could be a guardian angel or an incredibly dangerous situation. You were a mum! Yet here you were climbing into the back of a cab. You didn’t give him much. You muffled out ‘Four Seasons’ to him thankfully remembering that was where you were staying in between fits of tears. He peppered you with questions trying to get more information about which one, were you okay, all sorts of things. None of which you were able to answer. He helped you out of the cab arriving at what the man had hoped to be the correct location. You nodded your head. He wrapped his arm around you to support you as you steadied yourself in your heels. In any other state you would probably have been skeeved out but at the moment you just wanted to disappear.

“Where is she? I haven’t heard from her, Win. Where are you?” Trent frantically asked Winnie pacing in his hotel room as the night rolled into the morning. 

“She went back to her hotel. I’m still out with Jay. I’ll text her but I bet she’s already asleep, T. Which by the way you should be too! Don’t worry, okay?” Winnie cooed with tears beginning to fill her lash line. She feigned a confidence and comfort she couldn’t have felt further from. She felt sick. Why did she just lie to Trent? She knew she shouldn’t have but she didn’t know what else to do. She was past the point of panic. She collapsed into Jadon crying. “Why did I let her go? You don’t understand. She shouldn’t be alone.” Winnie cried as Jadon dragged her out of the club taken aback by the shift in their night. 

“Win, she’s alright. She went home. We’ll go to her hotel right now. Promise, she’s a big girl. She’s fine. Probably just felt sick and booked it.” Jadon tried to calm her down but it really wasn’t going to help. 

“Jay… you don’t get it. She’s… She’s not okay, alright?” Winnie began to cry more. Jadon’s eyes narrowed confused what was happening here. He wouldn’t have let the night get as rowdy as it had if someone told him something was off. If Winnie or Trent or you even had given him any indication prior to this very moment that you maybe weren’t the healthiest at the moment. “She just has a hard time. She doesn’t exactly have the best health and things can get really bad if she drinks too much.  God! I’m so fucking stupid. I know better than this. I need to find her.” Winnie balled her fists and shut her eyes tight.

“What you saying? Health? In what way?” Jadon asked Winnie whilst ordering them an uber. Winnie ran her hands over her face flustered. As drunk as she was, as much as she liked and trusted Jadon, unloading her family's past and trauma on him felt like a lot to do in the current moment. She didn’t know where to even begin to be fair. 

Hours went by and Trent couldn’t sleep. Where were you? Were you with someone else? You weren’t, you had some strange cabbie drop you back at the hotel and that was it but he didn't know that. Honestly, you barely even knew that was what was happening. Thank god, frankly. In some fashion or another you made it back up to your hotel room. It took you about 20 minutes to even get the door open with your key card but you did it. You were hysterical curled up in the bathtub of the shower. You were shaking and crying uncontrollably. In retrospect you had no idea what came over you. It was like suddenly you were 18 wishing you never existed. Like you had never met Trent, like Teddy was never born. You felt disgusting and worthless. All you wanted was to vanish off the face of the earth. You hated yourself for a million different reasons. So that was it. That was your night until it was morning and Winnie was pounding on your hotel room door frantically. 

“Y/N what the actual fuck!” She screamed. “What the fuck?” She was fuming. Your neck hurt so fucking bad from passing out in the bathtub, your eyes were almost swollen shut from all the tears. 

“Honestly… We have to talk about last night but we need to go right now because your fucking fiancé has a game you’re supposed to be at… Jesus Y/N what the fuck.” She yelled at your seething. 

“Win…” You whimpered out, beginning to start to cry again. You slid down the wall of the entryway of your room feeling the hotel wallpaper against your back stinging the scratches left by the brick wall from last night. You couldn't hold yourself up anymore.

“Y/N… what’s going on?” She cooed sympathetically. The way she looked at you made you feel like you were little girls again. Like you were in your house in the hallway between your bedrooms. 

“I can’t do it. I’m a bad mum. I’m not cut out for this. It’s too much.” You looked at her pleading for help. You felt desperate. You felt defeated. It was like the last shot of liquor opened a channel in your brain you had been trying for ages to close and suddenly it was thrashed open. 

“It’s not. You’re doing great. Please.” She looked at you with so much pity. Winnie had heard you say that before. She remembered being 16 and hearing you cry in your bedroom. ‘It was all too much’  It was customary in your family to ignore things like this. To put on a brave face and never let anyone know, much less anyone know that you weren’t perfect the way your mum had wanted you to be perceived in society. It wasn’t lost on people closest to you the trajectory of your life in the last few years might've been difficult. You’d made a valiant effort before meeting Trent to avoid the public eye. It was a lot of pressure on you but when you met him, you’d do anything for him and it worried Winnie if she was being honest. 

“I can’t be in this body anymore, Winnie.” You had felt this way your entire life but suddenly under the lights of a London club it flooded your mind in a way you hadn’t had a moment to consider in the chaos since becoming a mum. You weren’t good enough to be with Trent, You weren’t good enough to be Teddy’s mum. You weren’t good enough. You needed to escape. To describe this as a panic attack wouldn’t have done it justice. You were manic. Trent had the ability to pacify you. You’d never felt healthier than you did in the last few years with him and yet after you had Teddy it was like someone flicked a switch off in your brain. 

“Y/N, I know. I know, it’s really hard. I know life hasn’t been easy on you. It’s been really fucking heavy but you do not have an option here. You are here with me. You cannot fucking leave me. You promised me, Y/N.” Winnie’s eyes welled up. “You promised you’d never leave me. You can’t leave your baby, you can’t leave T… God, T.. I lied last night, Y/N. We don’t lie to him. Where did you go? I was so worried.” She began to babble tears rolling down her face as she paced in front of you. “Y/N, please! I can’t go through this again. I’ve almost lost you before please god please don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to Teddy.” Winnie cried, dropping in front of you. She remembered being 16 and you promised her you would be okay and then she remembered being 18 getting a call from Lauren confirming the exact opposite. She grabbed your arm, being able to wrap her hand around your bicep entirely. She felt sick.  

•

Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, or message what you think of the chapter 🤍

Next part - Chapter 19 xx

[damazcuz]

Top surgery experience so far, from check in on:

My surgery was pushed back a couple of hours for a patient ahead of me, I basically just laid there an extra 1.5-2 hours waiting, kind of dozing through the early morning

I do not remember even leaving the pre-op ward or falling fully asleep. Literally one minute just laying their waiting and the next I was in the post-op area waking up.

I've had some issues in the past with coming out of anesthesia very emotionally, sad or angry, but it was good this time. No crying or yelling lol.

Everyone has been so so nice taking care of me. Im staying the night in the hospital because that was the best option for me personally. Based on everything I've heard since before even booking a date is that most of my surgeon's patients do stay overnight.

I was very sleepy and out of it at first but something like 9-10 hours later, I'm wishing I had brought something to do lol.

It doesn't hurt much. I've been uncomfortable at times and my incisions are a little sore, especially the right side. Overall though my pain levels have been Way low, nothing like what I'd expected.

Obviously I don't get to see my chest right away or anything, but I feel really happy with it. It is a very odd feeling for me, being flat in the chest.

No complications so far. Keeping an eye out for hematoma obviously but from what I hear my surgery was a breeze.

Getting out of bed just to use the bathroom is a major ordeal, I have to be escorted the 15 to 20 feet to the bathroom because I'm so unsteady rn

I haven't got to see my surgeon since before surgery but I'll see her later this morning when I'm discharged. I was hoping I would get to talk to her ahead but again, I was unconscious just like that.

The hospital has an endless supply of jello and pudding and applesauce for me. Juice too. They had me order what I want for breakfast yesterday too, so I'm getting French toast later :3

The TV in here seems to have maybe 20 channels? I tried watching something for a bit but got bored.... again, wish I'd brought a book or something

My awake and alert time kind of comes and goes. Sleep a bunch, wake up for a long while with a little energy, etc...

My drains haven't been draining a ton so far. My overnight nurse says it's lower than is normal, but at least indicates I'm not developing a hematoma so?

Bottom line im doing pretty good so far! I really want to weight myself once I'm home just to see how much my breasts weighed lol.

Overall even not seeing my chest yet, I think this was a great thing for me, and I'm glad I was finally able to do it.

All I got for now!

[uniquely-plural]

It can be difficult sometimes to know where some feelings are originating from in our system. Emotions that don't align with the usual shared sense of self in our core often seem to be messages from someone else in the system. It can be a bit of a distressing experience, but we are trying to honour their need to be heard and use it to get to know system members that have so far mostly stayed in the background of the innerworld.

Moth is one of those members. She's been here since very early in our development as a system, and was added to our SimplyPlural when we first started using it, at the same time as all of our core facets. All I knew is what she identified with (rosy maple moths), that her pronouns were she/her, and that she was incredibly shy and sensitive.

I made the graphic you see above (using a free for non commercial purposes asset) as her SimplyPlural avatar, and let her be. As mentioned, she seemed to be most comfortable staying in the background of the innerworld, or her own individual innerplace, which is not accessible to our shared monoconsciousness.

Very recently, though, she's started to share some of her feelings with us. It wasn't until yesterday we understood it was Moth, though. Once we did it was much easier to listen and learn more.

Moth is a nonhuman trans girl, and after we as a transmasc body have been on T for over a year now, she seems to be having some issues with gender dysphoria + humanoid body dysphoria. Obviously this is not the easiest thing to navigate. She doesn't wanna front and is very scared it would just make it all worse, but her feelings are strong and we feel very connected to them right now anyway.

We're really hoping we can make her feel a little bit more understood, accepted, and maybe even slightly more at home in our shared body. We wore some pink and yellow eyeliner today and that made her feel happy. We'll try to paint our nails a colour she likes. Maybe even see how a dress or a skirt would make her feel. She especially has trouble with our beard, and we feel like some of our littles do too as a sensory thing, so we're gonna try out shaving it for the first time. I always kinda wanted to try anyway, I was just too scared before, mostly to mess up my skin. Seems like good motivation to experiment and learn :)

It's impossible to make everyone in the system always happy with the way we are presenting ourselves, and it will probably always be a balancing act. But I appreciate the qualities that Moth brings to the complexity of our shared identity, and I recognise in her a mirror of aspects of our core - The way I don't want to feel trapped forever in the role of what society considers acceptable for a man. She also feels like a healing alternative to the traumatic femininity that was forced onto us long ago.

If you have any words of encouragement that would really be appreciated. I'd love for her to be able to read some people being nice, or just saying hi! 💜

[karatekels]

(Before you get mad because my Master List isn't currently my pinned post, you can find it here)

Well, I was hoping to give you all a more positive, happy update... but now you get a mixed bag.

I found out yesterday that my beautiful, wonderful PhD supervisor got my graduate funding extended for another year, meaning that all the extra work that I've either done or signed up to do this year is just a nice, extra little windfall that means I don't have to worry about money as aggressively as I have been, so that's a win! I cried happy tears for a very long time.

Unfortunately, this week my chronic fatigue which has been slowly going away over the past year has decided to start coming back.

I've touched on my chronic fatigue and pain a bit here before, but the gist of it is we don't really know what's causing either or how to treat either. At least I'm in Canada, so I haven't had any medical debt relating to this, but on the downside our medical systems are so backlogged I haven't been able to delve into very many tests to really get to the bottom of it. I won't rant about the pain because I've been dealing with it for most of my life and, as shitty as it is, I can usually still coexist with it, but the fatigue...

OH, THE FUCKING FATIGUE.

For me, my fatigue isn't wanting to sleep in longer in the morning or something I can chase away with coffee, or something I can just yawn through as I go about my day - it's an infuriating and debilitating clusterfuck. It usually means I don't sleep well during the night, and I will randomly be unable to function for hours at a time. I can't really think properly, my limbs will go numb, and I usually just slug out on the couch until it passes. No amount of sleep will make the sleepiness go away, and when it comes on, there's nothing I can do (it's a good thing that I don't drive, because if it came on while I was behind the wheel I would pretty much have to immediately pull over, lock the doors and pass out).

The good news (as I'm trying to see it, anyway) is that between my body being largely useless and my finances no longer being as much of an issue as anticipated, I can - and have to be - a bit gentler with myself, meaning I'll probably be at home more than I already am, and looking for a way to escape.

aka "MORE DAYDREAMING AND SUBSEQUENT WRITING!"

I can't promise I'll be churning things out the way I was last summer (jeez, remember last summer? what the hell was I thinking...) but I can pretty much guarantee I'll be writing a lot more than I have been so far this year, and I hope you're looking forward to that possibility as much as I am!

Basically, I just wanted to check in to thank you all for your patience, explain my lack of writing this year, and encourage those of you who are healthy to really appreciate it. I turn 30 in less than two months, and so much of my life (and pretty much my entire adult life) has been impacted by these unpredictable, unfixable problems and it really sucks. So, if you can do a cartwheel, a wheelkick or some kind of jump for joy, please do it for yourselves, and know that I'd join you if I could!

Thanks for reading, and we'll be back to your regularly scheduled smut soon, ya filthy animals!

- KarateKels

---

Tl;dr: Good and bad things are happening but hopefully both mean you'll be getting more writing from me?

[jmvore]

Can you write an drabble about something the wild thought couple links to do in their spare time? Do they usually spend time together often?

warning(s); none just jimin being a fluffy boy and the return of nicknames because yes, he deserves every bit of that (and you do too). word count; 556 pairing(s); jimin x reader

“Petal?”

“Hm?” You glance down at your boyfriend as he moves his body so he's face to face with you. He smile the moment you begin to rub the corner of his mouth with your thumb. A soft grin of your own present. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” You shut the book in your hand and laying it next to you on the window sill. It's yours and Jimin's special place to go when you want to simply cuddle or wanting to be in each other's presence.

Like now, reading books together.

The moment you realized it was both of your pastimes (before he moved in), you set out to build a couple of bookshelves around to have around the house. One by the widow sill seat you adored (let's be real it was the main reason you decided to rent this place), one in your office and one in your bedroom were a couple places you saw fit for one. You made sure half the bookshelf was stocked with books he liked along with yours.

Unfortunately, today you were blessed with heavy rain all day and it's the second day of yours and Jimin’s mini-vacation. Or rather, stay-cation. You planned a day on the beach and maybe a nice picnic or something but that was scrapped at eight am this morning. It sucks because you and Jungkook convinced him to take a couple of extra days off and now, you wished the weather wasn't so gloomy. Don't get it wrong! It's still nice to stay home with your baby and neither have to worry about work but you would have liked to go somewhere too.

Jimin calls your name to bring you back to him, his eyes sparkle with curiosity of what you could want.

“Oh, I was just wondering what you wanted for dinner.”

“We could eat out?”

“You really want to go out in that?" You point at the window before moving back to hold him. "Plus we did that yesterday.” You roll your eyes, wrapping your arms around his waist and spreading your legs so he could fit comfortably. “And the day before that, and the day before that because somebody-”

“Okay, yeah.” Jimin giggles when you lean forward to give him a peck on the lips. “You’re right but I want you to be able to relax too.”

“I love cooking for you, Petal. That's no problem.”

“I know but you're constantly working and I just...” Jimin pauses before laying his head in the crevice of your neck while reaching for your hand to hold. He gives it a light squeeze before kissing the back of it. “I want you to relax too. You deserve it as much as I do.”

“Petal-”

“I’m serious, Peach...” He moves your hand to be closer to your chest (more so closer to his heart) as you feel the heat of it. “I want this to be a vacation for you as much as it is for me.”

“Okay. Okay…” You sigh before chuckling, tapping his leg to get him to move. He whines in protest, not wanting to leave your arms but you tell him you have a much better idea. “C’mon.”

You hold out your hand as he takes it with no issue, wondering what your thinking as both of your books are long forgotten.

© 2020 - 2023 » JMVORE || @/http-pjm and @/googikoo » All Rights Reserved.   DO NOT Copy, Translate, Re-Upload, or Steal ANY of my work. Thank You!

[only-lonely-stars]

Reminiscence

Oneshot – (FFN) (AO3)

Summary:

Skylor never really talked much about her childhood. It just wasn't important. Who wants to hear about that? However, a day off with Kai was probably the right time to tell him about the history she's been carrying around… right?

Phone in hand, Skylor walked out of her noodle shop through the back door, latching it behind her. She finally had a day off, and not too soon at all; she hadn't seen Kai in ages. She pulled up her messaging app with a smile.

FROM: Copycat (10:03 AM) TO: Hair Gel Hey, are you free? I managed to have a day off

FROM: Hair Gel (10:05 AM) TO: Copycat yeah, greenie gave us the day off yesterday he worked us until 7 wanna go do something ?

FROM: Copycat (10:06 AM) TO: Hair Gel You want to meat up at the park? *meet The weather's great today

FROM: Hair Gel (10:06 AM) TO: Copycat definitely! I'll see you in a few minutes?

FROM: Copycat (10:07 AM) TO: Hair Gel Copy that.

Skylor put away her phone with a smile. It would be a nice change to see him again; despite being engaged, they had spent little time together recently (of course, it was the noodle shop's fault, having several employees on holiday, but no matter). She rolled her shoulders back and set off on a quick jog, only taking a few minutes to reach the park. As she got to the entrance gate, she spotted a figure in a red hoodie waving to her from across the park. She smiled, waved back, and jogged up to meet him, giving him a big hug in greeting. "Hi, Kai."

"Hey, Sky!" Kai replied, warmly enveloping her in his arms. He kissed her temple, then let her go and smiled. "Long time no see."

"No kidding," Skylor laughed. "Sorry I've been so busy."

"Lots of business?"

"Oh yeah. We've had a lot of people on holiday recently. Plus, those new apartment buildings had a lot of Serpentine moving in." Skylor shrugged. "We had a lot of busy days."

"Makes sense." Kai took her hand. "Are you okay, being around so many Serpentine? I know you haven't exactly had a good experience with them." He gestured to a nearby bench, and they sat. "They've been starting to really come back to Ninjago this past few months."

Skylor sighed. "It's been weird, but I haven't had to deal with too many of them. How's training been for you?"

"Brutal. Lloyd keeps making up weirder and weirder exercises. Who comes up with one-handed burpees while wearing weights?" Kai laughed briefly. "It's working pretty well, though."

"Oh yeah? Your spinjitzu must be getting better." Skylor nudged his shoulder. "It would be nice to be able to do that; just in case any old cultists show up, you know."

"That would be great! It's an amazing skill. But… aren't all those guys in Kryptarium Prison or the Cursed Realm?" Kai's face fell.

Skylor's eyes fell. "There are still some stragglers. They're not really that nice to see– some of them are still really attached to the island." She sighed deeply. "Once, a gang of them tried to take me back. That wasn't fun."

"What? When was that?" Kai exclaimed.

Skylor shrugged. "I think it was last Friday? I'd just closed up the shop for the night."

"And you didn't tell any of us, because…"

"It wasn't an issue! I handled it. There wasn't a reason to bother you about it." She gave him a weak smile.

"Sky, almost being kidnapped and dragged back to the island isn't a bother," Kai responded, giving her an uncharacteristically soft look. A shiver ran up Skylor's spine. Since when was he good with this sort of thing?

"Exactly! It's just– whatever, you know? It wasn't even the first time." Skylor shook her head, combined with another shrug. "I just thought spinjitzu might help me next time." Was it just her, or did the wind feel colder?

"Skylor…" Kai breathed, taking her hand in his. Skylor felt the warmth of his hands, radiating up her body. "You can tell us about this kind of thing. You can trust us– you can trust me."

"I do trust you! I just thought it wasn't important. It's not like someone tried to burglarize the shop or anything."

"Of course it's important! You're important!"

"So? It doesn't matter. I can take care of myself, Kai."

"I know you can," Kai conceded, rubbing her hand comfortingly, "but you don't have to any more. Your safety matters, Skylor."

Skylor looked away, unable to meet his eyes. "I know, and I appreciate that, really. It's just… hard to believe that sometimes, you know? I still feel like I need to escape sometimes, just to be free. I didn't have that for a long time."

Kai nodded. "I get that." He paused, looking unsure. "Do you want to talk about it? Not that you have to."

Skylor chuckled and met his eyes again, managing to smile. "Are you really in the mood to hear about my issues?"

Kai laughed. "I live with Lloyd Garmadon. Not to mention the fact that all the rest of us have our own. It's not so unusual."

"Heh, fair enough. There's a lot to tell, though." She shifted on the bench, inching closer to him.

"That's fine. Do you feel safe? We could go back to your place, if that helps," Kai offered.

Skylor smiled, squeezing his hand. "Even if I felt like I was in danger, it wouldn't be a problem. After all, I have Ninjago's strongest ninja here to protect me." She winked at him, enjoying how he perked up at her comment. "Besides, it's about time I told you." She shifted in her seat.

-----

"My childhood was pretty weird, honestly. Being a kid on the island wasn't exactly terrible, but it wasn't fun either. Lots of adults, not many kids, and near-total isolation from the outside world tend not to be good elements when it comes to mental health." She shook her head. "One of the worst things was how much everyone believed in my father. It was like they thought he was their savior, you know? They hated how much attention I got in public– not that I got much in private, but they didn't know that."

Kai frowned. "They shouldn't have treated you like that. Especially your dad."

Skylor's eyes fell, a tiny smile on her face. "I know, but it's okay. At least he told me some stories about when I was pretty young. He liked to talk about my mother. He always said she believed in me."

-----

Skylor, only a baby, cried very loudly. It wasn't just because she had needs; she announced her presence. As she grasped at the air with her tiny hands, her father smiled uneasily down at her.

"I'm not so sure about this, dear. It's a bit… loud, isn't it?" Chen muttered, trying to soothe her.

"Chen, Skylor's not an it. She's our daughter. You can't just turn off her crying," Skylor's mother said with a smile. She toyed with Skylor's hair, tiredly drinking in the image of her husband and newborn daughter.

"Yes, right, darling. She's very pretty," Chen backtracked, gently rocking Skylor.

"She's not just pretty," Skylor's mother said with a smile. "I have a feeling she will be someone extraordinary."

"I'm afraid I'm going to drop her. What will happen if I drop her? Will that break her?"

"Just be gentle," his wife reprimanded, amused.

Skylor cooed, grasping at Chen's beard. "Ahh, I think she got her lack of hair from me! She wants my beard," Chen laughed. "Dearest, please let go!"

Skylor laughed and let go, happily laying her arms back down and yawning, while conveniently covering her mother's quietly labored breathing. "Be careful with your father, Skylor…" her mother commented.

Chen's face fell. "Are you all right dear? Do you need me to call the doctor?" He knelt by his wife's bedside.

"No, I'm fine. Really," his wife placated, waving her hand. "I'm just tired."

"If you say so," Chen relented, before smiling at Skylor again. "Our daughter will want for nothing. She's a daddy's girl, don't you think?"

"Yes, she is," her mother replied, smiling as her daughter fell asleep in Chen's arms. "I think she's going to be someone very special."

"Yes, she'll be special," Chen repeated. "She will be powerful..."

-----

"Of course, it's not like that lasted. My mother wasn't healthy, and my father knew it. He always said he wished he'd known she was dying earlier..." Skylor laughed quietly.

"That's… dark," Kai commented.

"Yeah, but it's just how it was." She shrugged. "It's not a long story; life on the island got repetitive pretty fast."

-----

Now four years old, Skylor lived a life of happiness, shielded from the bitter truths she would later know. She ran through the hallways of Chen's castle, laughing and playing with a makeshift sword made from two sticks and some rope as she fought off invisible ninja enemies. Panting from her exercise, she ran into her mother's room. "Mommy! Did you see me! I defeated the ninja!"

"Yes you did, darling," her mother said with a smile, before devolving into a coughing fit.

Skylor's grin fell off her face, fear taking root in her eyes. "Are you okay, Mommy?"

"I'm fine, dear," her mother got out between coughs. "Can you go get your father to come here, please?"

Skylor nodded, all thoughts of games gone. "Yes, Mommy…" She ran out of the room, almost ramming into Clouse on the way.

"Be careful where you're going," Clouse sneered.

"I'm sorry Mr. Clouse," Skylor said hastily. "Do you know where my daddy is?"

Clouse sniffed. "Master Chen is currently in a business meeting with an important man from the mainland. He does not have time to be disturbed by children."

Skylor pouted. "Mommy said she needs to see him. She was coughing again."

Clouse rolled his eyes. "He is in his study." Upon seeing her beaming face, he turned and walked away, while Skylor ran towards the study.

Skylor knocked loudly on the door. "Daddy!"

"Is that my Skylor I hear?" Chen called from behind it, opening the door.

"Daddy, there you are!" Skylor ran in, hugging his legs tightly. "Mommy wants to see you."

Chen smiled, picking her up. "Well, let's go see her then!" He turned to the man in his study– a dark, tall man with a curly brown beard, dressed in clothing decorated with feathers and leaves. "If you'll excuse me, I have other business to attend to. Enjoy your trip home! I'm sure your son is anxious to see you again– what was his name, Bolobo?" He grinned widely, giggling quietly. "It would be a shame to keep you from him any longer."

The man nodded and left the room, seemingly frightened. Skylor hugged her father tightly. "Daddy? Mommy was coughing again. Is she going to be okay?" She looked up at him, uncertainty clear on her face.

Chen's smile faltered, no longer reaching his eyes. "Yes, darling, she will be okay. Now, where is she?" He walked out of the office, looking around. "I just can't find the way around this place like you can, Skylor!"

Skylor laughed, pointing down the hallway. "She's there, Daddy! You remember!"

"Ah, yes, there she is! You're quite the wayfinder," he said to his daughter, smiling again. "It's not so easy for an old, old, old man like me." He pushed open the door to his wife's room. "Hello, dear. How are you feeling?"

His wife smiled weakly. "As well as I can." She coughed weakly into her sleeve. "It's getting harder to breathe."

Chen's face fell, mirroring his little daughter's. "I'm calling the doctor again. There must be something we can do."

His wife smiled, shaking her head. "Darling, we've tried everything. Not even mainland doctors would be able to help me. It's almost time for me to go– I can't keep the spirits waiting. The next generation has to have the world and make it theirs."

Skylor sniffed, tearing up. "What do you mean, Mommy? Where are you going?" Chen frowned as she climbed out of Chen's arms and curled up into the crook of her mother's elbow. "We need you."

Her mother sighed, smiling sadly as she cuddled her daughter close to her. "The First Spinjitzu Master needs me too. I have to go meet him. When I do, I promise I'll watch over you. You'll never be alone– I'll love you forever." She kissed the top of Skylor's head, before turning away to cough into her arm. "I love you so much."

Skylor nodded, now fully crying into her side as her father watched, her mother slowly slipping away.

-----

Kai entwined his hand with hers. "Sky… I don't know what to say. I'm sorry– not that that really helps…"

Skylor squeezed his hand, smiling a little. "It's okay. We're kind of the same that way, huh? You found your parents again, though."

"I guess. Do you miss her?"

"...I can't really tell." She shrugged, leaning against Kai. "After she was gone, my father sank into a deep depression, so Clouse took over running the island. That also meant helping train me to be the perfect pawn, all the while taking my father's attention for himself and away from me. Most of all, he wanted a title. All the while, my father started just… going nuts."

"Like how he was when we were there?" Kai asked.

"Yeah. At first it was his war meetings, and then his business with the noodle company. Eventually, even just me snagging some fortune cookies without permission was enough to make him ballistic."

-----

Fifteen-year-old Skylor panted heavily, drenched in sweat as she tossed away a blunt training sword. She pushed her bangs back, hoping to alleviate the heat. "Stupid snakes…"

Above her, Clouse sneered at her from an observation deck. "Sloppy form as always. Name-calling is hardly professional, miss Skylor. If I were anyone else, I might think you didn't care what your father thought of you."

Skylor scoffed. "That was my fastest time yet! He'd be proud of me, unlike you." She shook her head, muttering to herself. "Who does he think he is?"

Clouse crossed his arms. "I am your father's most trusted advisor, and more unbiased than him. It is my duty to make sure his daughter does not make him out to be a fool."

Skylor sighed heavily. "Of course. Can I be done? Michael said he wanted to show me something cool he got during his trip to the mainland." She wiped her forehead again. "It's hotter than a crucible out here..."

Clouse rolled his eyes. "Fine, go on. Don't do anything dishonorable; it would be a shame if you were found doing something… compromising."

Skylor shuddered. "Yeah, okay." She ran out of the training ground, only to stop short as she saw her father, waiting in the hallway. She hastily stopped and bowed. "Father!"

Chen smiled. "Oh, Skylor! There you are. I've been hearing about your training sessions from Clouse."

Skylor's eyes widened. "Yes, Father? I've been working hard, I promise–"

"This can't keep happening," Chen said, cutting her off. "You need to concentrate! From what I've been told, your form and technique have been abysmal lately."

"But Father, I defeated three of your lieutenants today! Isn't that proof that I'm doing well?"

"Top form, Skylor. Top form! You need to work harder!" Chen snapped.

Skylor sighed, hanging her head. "...yes, Father."

"Good, good," Chen replied. "There's also the matter of some rumors I've been hearing. Is it true that you are able to use the power of our guest from a few days ago?"

Skylor blinked. "You mean that man from the mainland?"

"Who else would I mean?" Chen snapped. "Is it true or not?"

Skylor nodded quickly. "Yes, Father. Can I show you?"

"Yes, yes, please do!" Chen responded, clapping his hands with glee. "I'm eager to see if you can do what your mother could, Skylor."

Skylor smiled, scrunching her face in concentration. After a moment, she opened her eyes to see a flower, having sprung to life in her hand. "...I can grow flowers so far."

Chen's smile widened. "Oh, this is lovely! Just like your mother." His smile briefly fell, before he resumed his dramatic gesturing. "It would appear you are an elemental master, Skylor. We can use this!" He plucked the flower from Skylor's hand. "Daughter, I will tell Clouse to start going a bit easier on you, but only if you promise to work very hand and not slack off. You must learn how to use these powers."

Skylor nodded, beaming. "Of course, I promise! I'll work harder than ever."

"Good, good. That's what I like to hear!" Chen sniffed the flower, then dropped it on the floor and walked off. "Make sure to keep your word, daughter!"

-----

Skylor shook her head. "I wish things had been different."

Kai nudged her gently. "Did something happen?"

She nodded. "Lots of things. Over the years, life on the island got worse and worse. I should have realized something was wrong. I should have said something, but I was too afraid to do anything." She shook her head, squeezing Kai's hand and making her free hand into a fist. "Nothing I did was good enough. If I made a mistake, he cheered me on one minute, while threatening me the next. It got to the point where I couldn't meet his astronomical standards."

Skylor growled quietly. "No matter what, I was wrong, and it was always my fault."

-----

Several years later, Skylor panted heavily as she stood at the end of a rigourous obstacle course. She glared at it, shaded her eyes, and looked up a hill at Clouse and Chen. "How was that? Good enough?"

Chen shook his head. "Try again, Skylor. You barely beat your record! You must be the best of the best. Remember the creed of the Anacondrai?"

Skylor groaned quietly. "Only one can remain…"

Chen nodded. "That's right, Skylor. Now, try it again! And Clouse, have someone bring me some noodles! I'm starving up here!"

Skylor scoffed quietly. "Yes, Father." She trudged to the start of the course and launched herself into it again, only to stumble on a ledge and cry out in pain.

Skylor winced as interference rang out through a megaphone. "Skylor, if you will not do this the right way, I won't allow you to participate in the tournament! Try again, or I won't see you for the rest of the day," Chen ordered.

Skylor nodded, blinking away tears, but stumbled as she walked back to the start. Chen shook his head as he saw her bend over in pain. "Skylor, get out of my sight. You're too tired to continue today. We have two weeks left before the tournament begins– I hope you will be able to continue before then." He waved her away, and she nodded meekly before limping away. As she walked away, Clouse met her in a hallway.

"Well, it seems you now realize exactly how disappointed he is. Do you know how much he has bet on your success?" He sneered at her. "Of course, I'm not all that surprised. You've never seemed to amount to much."

Skylor glared at him, putting her foot down fully and wincing at the pain. "You say that, yet he still loves me. You're just a henchman– you don't even have a title of lordship! He'll always choose me first."

"Ah, but that's where you go wrong. I worked my way to this position. All you had to do was be born. Would Master Chen really choose a sniveling little girl over his most proven, most loyal advisor?" He paused for a moment. "I think not."

Skylor laughed briefly before coughing from her heavy breathing. "As if he'd betray his own daughter. If there's anyone he's ever loved, it's me and my mother– not you."

-----

Skylor smiled, pushing the memories to the back of her mind as she refocused on the present. "Seeing you on that ferry was the best and worst thing to ever happen to me, Kai."

Kai blushed. "Uh, what exactly do you mean by 'worst?'"

Skylor laughed faintly. "You turned my world upside down! I had all these new feelings and didn't even understand them– not to mention that you were my enemy. I was supposed to steal your powers and become a snake so I could help take over Ninjago, not help take down my father and defend an entire country." Her smile fell. "When my father suspected I had feelings for you, he was furious at first. And once he calmed down, he told me I needed to use you to win the tournament. He made me spy on the Alliance, with you as my in."

Kai smirked and nudged her. "Hey, don't beat yourself up over it. It all worked out in the end, didn't it?"

Skylor nodded. "Yeah. It's okay now, I think. I don't always feel good about it now, but it's at least better." She let go of Kai's hand and crossed her arms. "Besides, it's not like I hate him, even though my life was horrible. He's dead. It doesn't matter." She glared at the ground.

Kai put an arm around her back. "Sky, it's okay to not think he's a good person. He manipulated you, he… Zane told me once that victims of abuse don't always know what's going on when it's happening. I don't want to label it or anything– I don't know anything about this stuff– but could it have been that?"

Skylor shook her head. "Yeah, it could've. It was abuse, or something like it; no use trying to deny it. He made me a pawn and said he loved me, promising that my mother would have wanted it or that it could get us to the mainland. He dangled that freedom over my head for years; it was all I ever wanted." She growled in frustration. "In hindsight, it seems like it couldn't have been that bad, but it was! And I just can't get over it. Shouldn't I be over it?"

Kai shook his head, murmuring to her. "You don't need to 'get over it,' Sky. It's not going to go away completely, but that's okay. It'll stop hurting eventually, I promise."

"And if it doesn't?" Skylor murmured, pressing up against him.

"It will." Kai pulled her close. "Lloyd always says he feels better after talking about stuff like this. If you need to talk about this again, just call me, okay?"

Skylor nodded, smiling faintly. "Okay. Thanks for listening."

"Anytime, Sky." Kai kissed her hair.

Skylor took a deep breath, stabilizing herself. "Do you want to go back to my apartment? I really don't feel like being out in the city today. We could watch a movie…?"

Kai smiled. "I'd like that. Come on." He helped her up from the bench, and together they walked back to Skylor's apartment hand-in-hand under the midday sun, with lighter yet wearier hearts.

-----

FROM: Copycat (9:47 PM) TO: Hair Gel Hey Thanks for listening to me today. it really helped.

FROM: Hair Gel (9:51 PM) TO: Copycat anytime, Sky goodnight xx

FROM: Copycat (9:51 PM) TO: Hair Gel Good night. X

[mdhwrites]

so I've seen it in your fics so I just wanted to ask: what was the appeal of Clarvee?

There's not really a nice way to put this: It's Lumity 5178 for the TOH fandom. It's a weird, quirky-ish girl with a bully. For the brief moment it caught the fascination of the fandom, that was essentially the pitch but with one big addition and one big drawback: It had a fuckton more angst... But now you had to write an OC.

Part of what was compelling to me as a writer was this fact that it's kind of an original form of Lumity because we know very little about Vee and we knew fucking nothing about Clara besides her having been around for many of Luz's shenanigans. We didn't even know if she was actually a bully, just that she looks like a human Amity. Meanwhile, one of the big things we know about Vee is she wasn't maybe bullied like Luz... She was tortured. Literally. She grew up in agony and managed to escape. She has baggage, to put it mildly.

But also to be blunt, the TOH fandom doesn't actually like extreme angst. No one I ever followed seemed to actually do anything with Vee. I mean, more people did comics about Amity losing it at Hunter over Eclipse Lake than ANYONE ever did about the fact that Hunter probably was involved in Vee's torture as the emperor's right hand. Bare minimum, A Golden Guard had probably participated in it. The fandom likes the angst they put on the characters that reflects their own traumas and problems but engaging with actual fantasy issues and the like never really seemed to be as big of a part of it, bare minimum by the point of S2B. And that is important because you honestly already by then saw a lot less comics, WAY less animatics and just less more extreme output from most creatives in regards to TOH.

The other half of the problem is that the fandom had done so much Lumity already, including Boschlow which was already a Lumity clone, that even before it was canonical, a lot more people gravitated towards Veesha. After all, Masha is a goth, spunky, weird but also genuinely feminine and a teen and just overall a nice character that is already close to Vee. There's also more of an overt betrayal angle from confessing what Vee is that can mirror allegories to the LGBTQIA+ experience... With the plus side that Masha would be more likely to go "Would" to it than Clara would.

It was a blip of a trend for the fandom and if you actually read that work, you can tell that a lot of the inspiration came from being able to do whatever the fuck I wanted with Clara. That is was, even accidentally, a bit of me flexing my original writing skills as I did a lot of interesting stuff with how she views the world. I don't think Vee ever got a solo chapter, and probably stopped around the time it might have happened, because I just didn't find, nor even now, find Vee all that compelling.

But also Clarvee was also me coping for the fact that the end of Yesterday's Lie left a godawful taste in my mouth from its no win cliffhanger, which I fucking called wouldn't be actually followed up on or enforced by Camila. It was me trying to still love this and have the same passion I did... And well, a year later I'd be essentially done writing for TOH.

So much for that. See you next tale.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[icedragonlizard]

Susie and Francisca friendship headcanons

This is one of the things I mentioned in my yesterday post going over major headcanon changes I've made, as I now headcanon Francisca being the mage sister that Susie is closest to.

Allow me to elaborate my new take on the dynamic for these two!

How these two first became friends is... uh, gonna be honest, it's actually a little bit humorous as to how they first became friends.

Because here's the thing: Susie initially wasn't interested in befriending the mage sisters. After HiAD, she became jealous of the fact that the mage sisters still have an alive father while she doesn't. Francisca was the one that she actually felt the MOST jealousy towards, because she was ALSO afraid that the icy blue mage was going to steal "cute woman" spotlight away from her.

For those reasons, it seemed inevitable that there was going to be some serious beef between these two.

But something happens that diffuses the bomb of potential strife. At one point, Francisca quite literally comes up to Susie and says "Ohhh.... you're so pretty and cute! ^^" and then Susie just MELTS as she's shocked and flattered. It doesn't even stop there, as Francisca then talks about how she always saw her as a beautiful and cute woman.

Susie, having a sense of pride, always considered herself to be cute. To suddenly be called so cute by another woman that she was afraid was gonna steal cuteness spotlight away from her... that elicited a massive emotional reaction out of her. She MELTED. She then thanked Francisca so much for the compliments.

That's what marked the beginning of their friendship. It was then shortly followed by Susie befriending the other two mage sisters afterwards, but Francisca stays as the one she's by far the closest to.

They've bonded over a few things: daddy issues, that they're able to share "cute and beautiful woman" spotlight together, and also over the fact that they're both also really unhinged and twisted despite being so cutesy. Even though Hyness is still alive, Francisca (and Flamberge) still has many hang-ups with him, meaning that she still ultimately has daddy issues. This is something she talked to Susie about as she was sympathetic to the former secretary's horrific backstory.

The other two mage sisters have a tendency to lightheartedly "bully" Susie sometimes despite also being friends with her. Flamberge has a tendency to tease her a lot, and Zan Partizanne often calls her embarrassing nicknames. In fact, Susie and Zan even have a "friendly, but a little rough" rivalry going on where they commonly butt heads and even make each other frustrated, although it's basically became their thing.

Flamberge and Zan aren't the first friends Susie made that like to clown on her a lot. Magolor and Marx were already doing it before them. Hahahaha. For some reason, Susie just has many friends that like to tease her. She's bold enough to deliberately clown on them right back, though. She's grown used to doing it.

Francisca, on the other hand, treats Susie more sweetly than the other two mages do, allowing Susie to have a nicer and more laidback time with Francisca than she does with the other two mages. Francisca joins Taranza in being a friend for Susie that she has a nicer dynamic with. Another person she can just totally relax with.

It's funny because Francisca is, in fact, NOT the nicest mage sister overall despite her outward demeanor... the REAL nicest mage overall is Flamberge as she's ONLY truly angry when you mess with her family and is rather compassionate otherwise, while Francisca is deep down an actually psychotic bitch that can and has made trophies out of people. But in terms of which mage sister is the nicest TO SUSIE, it's Francisca. She has a soft spot for Susie as she just thinks Susie is really cute and pretty, so she's sincerely nice to her.

And because of that, Susie is sincerely nice to Francisca back despite being pretty cold herself. One could say that these two cold bitches are not so cold to each other.

They do some fun things together. They do cute things AND do really unhinged things together. Just like Susie, Francisca also really likes ice cream and is a fan of cute things, so expect that to be in their dynamic.

They've collaborated in some freaky inventions of both the technological and frosty sorts, as Susie's been helping Francisca become more an inventor. In fact... Francisca even starts making silly weird Furby toys on her own because Susie got her into doing it.

It's also worth mentioning that Susie likes the winter. There have been times where Francisca has taken her to a heavily snow-covered planet and then they both just make snow angels.

These two giggle cutely together A LOT. For various reasons. Sometimes they're just giggling over something adorable, but other times they're giggling while plotting some very frightening hijinks to cause. It can be... scary to see these two women giggle together sometimes.

Francisca calls Susie "Ms. Susie".

All in all, these two are buddies. While Taranza is the one that claims the title of Susie's best friend, Francisca might be in 3rd or even 2nd place for her (she contends with Magolor for 2nd place, who Susie highly enjoys the tech expertise of despite her cain instinct relationship with him). On the other hand, Susie is one of Francisca's closest non-cult friends alongside Marx.

----

That's practically all I have to say here! Back then, I used to headcanon Zan Partizanne to be the mage sister that Susie is closest to, but I've changed that now. As time went on, I've grown more and more partial to the idea of Susie and Francisca being buddies. In fact, I'd say Zan is the mage that Susie is the most DISTANT from in my headcanons now, as Zan can sometimes be insufferable in Susie's mind with all the embarrassing nicknames.

LMAO, what a contrast from what I had before. Doesn't say a ton though because they're still friends, just a bit more contentious now.

Shoutout to people who do Fransusie. My favorite Susie ship is still Taransusie, but Fransusie is easily close second for me now.

[umseb]

(extremely long interview that i fed through google translate under the cut)

Life at the limit was yesterday, after retiring Sebastian Vettel got to know each other again. But Seb is back in competitive mode. It's just not about the World Cup now. But around the world.

When he retired at the end of last season, everyone was suddenly good friends again with Sebastian Vettel, the racer that so many colleagues had lost their teeth over for years; who had become world champion four times with Red Bull Racing, then moved on to Ferrari and finally Aston Martin and after 299 F1 starts, 53 wins and 122 podiums, it was good. "Love you, man," said Lewis Hamilton at the end, Mick Schumacher and Lando Norris described him as an "inspiration", Checo Pérez, Daniel Ricciardo and Nico Rosberg in unison as a "legend".

Other things had become important in his life, and in some cases he let us take part in them as an active participant: when he rode his bike to the paddock or drove a historic 1992 Williams with synthetically produced, climate-neutral fuel, it was clear what one of the most intelligent pilots of the present.

Yes, Sebastian Vettel is committed to the environment. And yes, he enjoys driving fast – still. We'll soon be able to see him in action again: at Red Bull Formula Nürburgring on the legendary Nordschleife. He will tackle the 73 corners at the wheel of his no less legendary RB7 - dubbed "Kinky Kylie" - and will do so in a climate-neutral manner thanks to e-fuels. "It's important to me to show that racing cars can drive just as well and quickly with CO²-neutral fuel." Seb sets an example of how to do without a little, be happier and do your part to not burden the world more than necessary.

SEBASTIAN VETTEL: The first few months passed quickly and it was nice to be able to enjoy the freedom to organize my time. Many factors went into my decision to resign. I didn't stop because I didn't like the sport anymore, was too slow or really wanted to do something else. Resignations are very individual. For me, time was one of the determining factors: the many races; knowing how much effort it takes to do the job properly, in my opinion. At the same time I have small children at home. That time will not come again. To answer the question: I enjoyed the driving, the competition, right up to the end. When you only have one shot left in qualifying and it has to hit the mark. racing duels. These are the moments I miss the most.

But? I no longer wanted to make certain compromises. Plus: My children have a right to me being there for them more. I must have outgrown a bit of a world that I used to think was great. Things that I once saw as pure white had been given a certain tint.

In what way? In the context of our time. This is related to interests outside of motorsport that I have developed. Anyone who does not close their eyes perceives social developments. Although F1 has taken up a large part of my life, it is not central to the people of the world. If you think outside the box, you can see the signs.

How are the environment and climate changing? Environment is the issue of our generation. We are in the decisive decade for the climate, and everyone is needed. We have to pull together. I'll take a look at my own nose first. This attitude comes from sports.

What did you do specifically? A few years ago I started measuring my carbon footprint. Car kilometers written down, every flight, every overnight stay. Seeing that number compared to that of the average Joe blew my mind! After that I took action to get the value down.

Do you want to name these numbers? I started with 400 tons - only in connection with the F1. In the end I was down to 60 tons. (Note: The average in Germany in 2021 was about 8 tons.)

How did you do that? Most of the reduction was the elimination of flights. With the exception of Silverstone and Budapest, I drove to all of the European races last season. I don't want to dictate to anyone or portray myself as an angel, but that's how I started with myself. This step didn't feel like giving up anything, but completely logical - like all the other smaller ones that I had taken in parallel. I felt very satisfied.

Because you experienced travel again as being on the road and not as a purposeful movement from A to B? Absolutely! As a teenager, your driver's license was your ticket to freedom. In motorsport, I used to drive a lot at first and soon got tired of driving long distances on the road. That's how the plane came into play, and later the private plane, because the time savings were extreme. But the step back felt good. Plan things better, take things into your own hands. Sure, I couldn't have sailed to Australia, otherwise I would have missed the race, or at least the one that followed. But whenever I could, I enjoyed being back on land and seeing things I would have missed on a plane. I noticed that the supposed loss of time is not actually a loss. Okay, cars are more environmentally friendly than planes, but there's a wide range when it comes to four wheels. What cars do you drive? Porsche Taycan, i.e. electric, and a VW bus with a combustion engine. The bus has the advantage that everything fits in, from bicycles to children. But I think that a decisive factor in the – very exciting – current mobility discussion is missing. Many ask themselves: What am I not allowed to do anymore? The more important question is: How could things look better in the future? When I look ahead, I see more livable cities than today. When I imagine that public transport will be denser and more fluid if the alternative rail is better than it is today, the question of car or plane may no longer arise. As soon as the offer is right, the majority will go along with it. Many lack the vision of improvement. That it will be good. Change scares them at first. It takes imagination how things will be better in the future than they are today.

As an example of improvement that was unthinkable for years: Working from home means fewer commuters, means less CO² and cleaner cities… Like that? Exactly. Change should be perceived as something positive. The change started a long time ago. It's not a question of if, just a question of when. There is no longer any doubt. The majority understands that too. Now it's time to design and make. It might be a bit more difficult, but it takes courage to try something. Like work at home.

How do you determine this change? In my generation, significantly more young people got their driver's license than today because the car is no longer such a central topic. In the fathers' generation, it was still completely clear that you get a driver's license and own your own car. change happens. There were already skeptics when switching from horse-drawn carriages to cars.

What new technologies will help us shape the future the most? In the big picture: artificial intelligence. In mobility, the change to e-mobility is the first step - due to the currently unbeatable efficiency. Hydrogen is super exciting. In general, I don't believe in a single solution, but in a combination of many building blocks. As far as I know, the transition to electric in the aviation industry is not as imminent as in the case of cars. Therefore, a different way of thinking is needed here. Without wanting to restrict freedom: Do you have to fly to New York for three days? Yes, there are actually people for whom this is necessary. But just for fun? I'm the last person who wants to ban anyone from anything. But if you are aware of the bigger picture and know how many people are already suffering from climate change, you probably no longer have to ask yourself this question.

Do you sometimes drive around the area just for fun? Yes, sometimes with my old bikes. That still gives me a lot of pleasure. On the other hand, I understand people who see the climate catastrophe as an existential threat to themselves. I personally work very hard on this balancing act of not letting myself be guided by fear and being able to enjoy the moment. Again: I think it's important not to talk about bans and waivers, but to emphasize the alternatives, and they often already exist. Motorcycles can be operated with synthetic fuels. They still produce pollutants, but only as many as were previously bound. I'm not a fan of biofuels. Land is used here to grow fodder to produce fuel - not so great. We can do better. Cars and motorcycles are cultural assets. A lot of good has come of it. We should not abolish them, but keep them alive. In any case, there is no need to explain to motorsport fans how great it feels when a V8 is fired up. You can feel something there. We just have to make it better.

Okay: The 20 F1 cars will be CO²-neutral from 2026. However, the large production of pollutants happens through the arrival of the spectators. In this respect, motorsport is no different from other major events such as football games or concerts. Aren't 20 CO²-neutral racing cars just greenwashing? F1 has always been at the forefront of technology. The current question is how relevant the highly complex and exciting current drive technology is for series production. More could be done here. But electric drive will not be suitable for F1 in the foreseeable future. The races are too long for that and the required power output is too high. Weight always plays a major role in F1, which is another reason why electric drive is not practical. Synthetic e-fuels are therefore indispensable in the short term. It’s good that this will happen from 2026 – now would be better. But yes, it is even more important to get the emissions under control: How do the teams get to the track? Of course it would be great if everyone came by bike. But it would take far more to put the calendar in order. Flying all over the world and flying to Europe for a few days in between makes no sense and is no fun either. How do the fans get to the track? What is consumed there, which ideals are lived? Water, in my opinion, should be something that is available to everyone at all times. Are these plastic cups needed everywhere? I think organizers of major events have an obligation to ask themselves these questions. You start with the big things and end up with the small ones.

What do you think of the theory that you F1 drivers are like kids who got too much chocolate and ate your fill? Cue Nico Rosberg, who was at Fridays for Future, or Lewis Hamilton, who cleared beaches of plastic. I don't know. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that we are very privileged as representatives of a global sport. We experience a lot, see a lot, earn a lot. For a long time, the belief in our society was: the more, the better. Our role model culture also aims to do this. Perhaps the chocolate comparison is correct insofar as the equation itself is often incorrect. More of everything doesn't mean more happiness. Even role models often have major challenges in everyday life, even the seemingly ultra-successful ones. Many of them are not happy, on the contrary. Nevertheless, a large part of society is chasing a goal that does not result in satisfaction: more, faster, nicer, further, richer. My experience in F1 certainly helps me to put things in perspective. Still, I think you can understand them even if you don't have a full bank account.

You mean because you've seen a lot... … I realized that things are going well for us in Central Europe. I have experienced parts of the world where it was completely different. Families who live in cardboard huts and also run a hairdressing business there. Uniform palm plantations where last year there was still a jungle. Seeing all of this not just on TV but with your own eyes triggers something, at least for me. I see it as a responsibility to share these impressions and question our role model culture. I find constant optimization dangerous. Much and many remain on the track. Nobody looks like they do on social media. There are photos of me where I look really good. But I know exactly what I really look like when I get up in the morning.

How do you measure happiness? I can walk up the stairs and don't have to take the elevator. For people after accidents, such trifles are a long way off. There will always be people who are better off - and many more who are worse off. An important thought: to classify how you are doing.

Would today's Sebastian still advise his 16-year-old alter ego to become a Formula 1 driver? I don't want to miss anything in my time. What would I do differently, better? I would have liked to have become more aware earlier. The themes that are dominant today were already there back then, but not as present. Second: I would use my voice more for the positive. I wasn't too aware of the power involved at first, and I felt a little uncomfortable raising my voice. In terms of sport, it was a mega time. The up shaped me as much as the down. Both were important.

Where do you find your fun after your F1 career is over? This question has occupied me for a long time. I was very well prepared when I made this decision. But one unpredictable factor remains. I like doing sports outside. As of today, there is nothing that pushes me to the limit like F1. That's what I miss the most. I have to put the brakes on myself here, because that's exactly what I wanted to get to know about myself: What happens when I'm not in competition mode? At some point, this adrenaline rush of a career at the top of the world will come to an end, whether freely chosen or forced - for example due to injuries. Then it's all about moving on, taking the thrill and tension into the next section. I'm not saying it's easy or saying I've done it. I'm searching, and this process itself is exciting.

Do you want to make the world better? The primary goal is to be there for my family. The dynamic at home is different because I'm present. This is new for me and also for the rest of the family. In general, I look ahead. This comes from my time in sport: How can we improve? I'm way too small to go and save the world, and the world is way too big for that. But I find tasks that excite me. Hopefully I can take other people a little bit with me.

Are you still interested in F1? Very! The first race was a bit weird, but now I really enjoy watching it. I know the sport inside out, I still love it. Maybe I see things differently, but I don't feel sad when I look at ex-colleagues, not at all.

Not even when the green car is performing so well? The first reaction of many people was: The fact that the Aston Martin is so fast this season must frustrate you? Okay, maybe it would be easier if the car was total garbage, in the sense of: I'm not missing anything anyway. No, I'm primarily happy for the team. And I'm happy for Fernando Alonso. For many years he had no car in which he could show his driving skills. Now he can and is up there. Red Bull Racing dominates, and I still have a lot of friends and acquaintances there. I'm really happy when they win.