#but its something!! & im not spending more than an hour on these!!
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YOUR BEST FRIEND HAMZAH
NSFW * MDNI - smut , dry humping , dirty talk , moan , whimper , alcohol , weed , friends to lovers
you and hamzah met 5 summers ago. you followed each other even longer on every platform before you guys met that faithful summer 5 years ago. you were so close. texting every single second of everyday since.
every morning and every night, there he was. blurting mundane details about your days to each other. repeatedly telling each other how much you miss the other. constantly sending each other memes and selfies throughout the day. facetiming every night to play games, or talk until you both fell asleep on the phone.
but thats just what best friends do right? every close male and female friendships had an undertone of a romantic attraction right?
its normal that his sleepy voice rang in your head throughout your day
“goodnighttt pretty girl���
“wait set up your camera so i can see you…hah just kidding… ahem”
“you think youre sooo funny huh?”
“just wait until we’re finally together in person”
if there was truly something going on with him, surely something would’ve happened by now. every year you two would save up for your summer vacations together. nothing happened year after year. that was just our humor.
but youve heard if you repeated joke about something…you slowly begin to believe it.
but surely. surely, that isnt the case here. you couldnt ruin this strong friendship you had with him. he meant too much to you to allow your connection to dwindle to a relationship, that would eventually end and leave you with a hole in your heart, and too free much time to spend.
you knew this, but it wasnt enough to stop the way your heart would pound against your skin. the way your face would light on fire everytime you saw his name on your phone.
the way your heart would drop everytime he said something tooth decayingly sweet. a jokingly sultry voice whenever he said something flirty.
but no. you refuse to allow your selfishness wreck the way you both gravitated to each other. and you knew deep down, if it were romantic attraction, it would end at some point. platonically, you could be friends for life…
like a mantra you would repeat to yourself to protect your cherished friendship. no matter how hard it is.
-
so here you were. the first night of many you knew were you going to spend with him now that youre practically going to live with him for 3 more months under the sunburning summer in cali.
this year you guys had decided you both needed to be beach bums this year in a beach house airbnb. that you both agreed to split the payment of.
you two had a long day of relishing in each others presence. the hours spent on the cramped jet from just that same early morning seemed to wash away the second you saw his face light up at the sight of you.
“AYEEE THERE SHE IS”
he exclaims as he practically runs over and scoops you up, dropping his luggage to properly embrace you.
laughing hard and holding him tight you say into his shoulder
“i cant believe its finally here”
“what? it? im an it now?”
hamzah says with a playful tone
“NOOO, i mean our year long planned summer”
“i know, its about time i see my girl”
he says as he slides you back down to your feet, to look you in your eyes in a serious but lovingly manner.
“my girl? alright buddy im happy to see you too”
you laugh.
hamzah drops his “act” and laughs with you. while draping his arm around you, he directs the both of you out of the airport.
everytime you finally meet its like there was no time in between. maybe its because neither of you can go longer than an hour without talking to each other, but thats besides the point.
-
laying back on the couch you watch hamzah as he snifs hard after hitting the joint.
you burst out laughing when he, once again, fails to inhale the smoke.
“URG, why is this shit so fucking hard”
he says while gritting his teeth, then suddently erupting in a fit of rough coughs from the hit.
“alright, I’LL SHOW YOU ONE MORE TIME BECAUSE NOW I’M GETTING TOO FUCKED UP”
you cackle while grabbing the joint out of his fingers.
“how do you think i feel? i just chief-ed that bitch like 20 times trying to do a damn french inhale”
he choked out while his eyes water up, glossing over his red and heavy eyes.
you simply giggle whilst inhaling the smoke effortlessly through your nose, holding eye contact with his teary eyes.
he animatedly throws his hands up and covers his eyes with his hands.
you snort while twisting the roach in the ashtray you both just bought from the dispensary 5 minutes away from your airbnb.
“well, lucky for you, you have time and plenty of bud to get it down”
you say while snuggling your back into the corner of the huge couch in the even larger living room of the beach house.
“yeah yeahhh”
he retorts while doing the same, screwing his eyes shut.
“don’t tell me your going to crash out on me so early? its the first night you ass”
hamzah sits up, making his back completely straight and looks at you in the eyes.
“oh shit that reminds me…”
he blurts, while suddenly getting up and half jogs down the hallway.
“WOW, GOING TO SLEEP IN YOUR ROOM THEN”
“noooo”
you can hear him say distantly, while you hear some commotion from his room. he reenters the living room holding something behind his back.
“oh my god what did you get me?”
“hmm? i dont have anything”
he responds jokingly looking around the room, while approaching you. he grins while looking down at you, suddenly, proudly, whipping out a dvd.
you look away from his face to examine it. you read “smile 2”
you look back up at him and laugh while shaking your head.
“oh my god, PUT THAT SHIT IN RIGHT NOW”
you say enthusiastically, not intending the volume you said it. silently cringing at yourself.
he raises his eyebrows and nods, while putting his hand in front of your first
“theres a catch though…”
“oh god what” you smile calmer this time
“i may have brought a big ass bottle of grey goose…”
he drags on while pressing his lips into a thin smile.
“okay…?” you respond curiously.
“and i thought we could take a shot every time one of us jump”
he explains while pulling the other hand behind his back with the vodka.
you laugh and say “oh you little genius i love you”
-
the movie finally came to end. your entire body is buzzing and you can feel hamzah’s eyes on you.
“youd think this not being our first time watching this…we wouldnt be this fucked up right now”
you slur while sliding your arms behind you to rest on them.
“well, we’re also crossfaded right now so..i mean- i’d be fine if i werent also faded than a ho right now”
you lean your head back, looking at him
“yeah thats true”
you both look into each others dazed eyes for a moment
“im shaking im so cold right now…”
hamzah blinks and says
���damn..who asked? hah”
he says while pushing out a fake and obnoxious laugh. you groan while pushing his shoulder. he simply laughs and responds seriously
“do you want to go lay down then? are you sleepy?”
you hum while nodding your head.
“okayyy, lets go”
hamzah sits up straight and slaps his knees as he abruptly stands up
you attempt to do the same you catch your balance far less gracefully as hamzah did.
“woah woahh, i got you light weight”
“ughh i cant walk hamzah..oh noo, what do i do?”
you say seriously while holding onto his now closest shoulder as his arms are stretched out holding you up, under your shoulders
“its okay pretty..ill just have to carry you to bed”
he says plainly while crookedly smiling at you.
“like a princess?” you say quietly, your voice sounding higher than usual
hamzahs heart flutters while bending down to hook his strong arm behind your knees
“yup, like a princess”
he grunts while carefully making his way to your room.
finding your bed, he leans over it, gently placing you on your pillow.
“hmm, hamzah?”
you hum out, while grabbing his forearm as he was about to walk out.
“yeah princess?”
he whispers back
“can you sleep by me?”
hamzah laughs out of his nose and responds a bit louder
“sure i can”
hamzah climbs over you and plops himself besides you closer to the wall. he sighs contently
“mmm, thats the stuff”
“hamzah, i have the spins”
you mumble
“oh shoot”
“can you hold me?”
theres only silence after you say it. hamzah simply hums yes, while reaching over to bring you atop of him
“how does that feel?”
you respond by hum contently whilst nuzzling into his embrace
“yeah? good?”
he responds, in that sleepy voice you know so well
“yeah” you say, again higher than your usual voice
you can feel hamzahs heart beat faster against your chest.
he mindlessly runs his fingers lightly up and down your spine. your body instinctively shudders from the light tickle-ly sensation rippling throughout your whole body. reminding you of your inebriated state.
“you like that?” hamzah breathes almost inaudibly
youre only capable of squeaking out a feeble “mhm”
“yeah?” he repeats, slightly more confident this time
“yeah” you push out with a whine, while scooting you legs up higher up his torso, pushing your core against him harder than you intended.
immediately, but slightly hamzah lifts his hips into yours. hardly containing the groan he puts directly into your ear.
it feels like your heart is beating a million beats a minute. your whole body is scorching and your have zero thoughts. your bodies are moving by themselves. neither of you can contain the desire rushing south.
you whine again pushing your pussy harder onto his hardening bulge.
hamzah moans into your ear again slowly thrusting his dick back, attempting to find your slow rhythm.
the both of you are quietly panting at this point as you rub onto each other, the drugs absolutely distracting you to care to conceal your noises more carefully.
“mmph. just like that baby” hamzah whimpers louder this time
you move your hands to each side of his head to look at him. hamzah opens his half lidded eyes, and moves his hands from your back, to your jaw and finally pulls you in to kiss.
you moan into his mouth, keeping the same pace at your hips.
it was a rough kiss. it was passionate and messy. both of you are eating your moans desperately clinging to each other. contrasting the slow and sensual pace of your cunt dragging on his hard dick.
you fully sit up pulling away from his lips
“hamzah…” you whimper out dragging your hands down his stomach. hamzah sits up quickly with you, to desperately crash into your lips again.
“mmph” hamzah breathes out, breathing hard out of his nose while impatiently moving his hands to grope the softness of your ass. pressing and guiding you slightly quicker and harder onto his still clothed dick.
you whine louder while pulling on the waistband of his sweats. trying to pull just his pants off, he obliges by lifting his hips up high, shocking your clit with the quick and intense pressure.
your lips tear away from him and you gasp loudly, quickly grabbing his shoulders. hamzah groans clearly this time while dragging his sweats halfway down his thighs. he drops his hips back onto the mattress, whilst pulling your pajama pants as far as he can.
“takes these off” he gulps slightly muffling his order
you lift one knee at a time as he helps pull them fully off of your legs.
“there you go” he pants, pulling your cunt back into his lap.
you immediately start grinding on his now hot and sticky bulge just behind the thin material of his boxers.
“m’you feel so good” you whine while throwing your head back
hamzah moans with every quick breath, as he slides his rather cold hands up your shirt to grope your tits.
“hah-“ you pant as he molests your nipples
“god youre so sexy baby”
“hah- ah-”
“that feel good baby?”
“yeah” you whine
“yeah? fuck youre so wet” he grunts as his dick get wetter the more he talks
“that all for me baby?”
you bite your lip attempting to muffle your incessant whines and moans “yes hamzah”
“i need to hear you baby”
you let go of your bottom lip and repeat “all for you hamzah”
“all mine. no one else yeah?”
“no- no one else”
“yeah..youre mine-” hamzah repeats, almost as if hes talking to himself. he lifts his hand off of your tits to slap his hand hard against the plush of your ass.
“right pretty girl?”
you gasp and your voice quivers as you respond “y- yeah- yes”
youre grinding on his dick faster than what he was making you, making him throw his head back to groan.
“fuck just like that”
you’re panting and whimpering as hamzah breathes faster
“fu-fuck”
“god yes baby..”
“hamz’hamzah…im gunna-“ you cry out
“go ahead cum on me baby” hamzah pathetically whines out
the pleasure washes over your whole body, making the top of your head tingle. you jump at hamzah twitching under neath you as your cunt gets sopping wet from him cumming right in his boxers.
you cry out as he rides out the both of your climaxes. your uncovered tits press against his panting chest as you fall onto him. he grabs the small of your back impossibly tight. as if hes trying to ground himself from his climax.
your both breathing out of your mouth. he laughs tiredly and you sigh and laugh shortly after.
“you feel better now baby?”
you sit up looking at his face realizing your spins are gone.
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looking up how to make watercolor not look sucks and the answer is always wait until every facking layer dries before adding more paint
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#like no puede ser.#if an art piece takes longer than an hour to do then im over it#especially w/ such a scary medium like u want me to WAIT? you want me to spend MORE TIME on something that might come out ugly in the end?#AND you cant rly go back and fix mistakes unless its in different mediums? qhatever man#unfortunately it is quite beautiful. adn doubly unfortunately im bad at layering and contrast and waiting (when it comes to art)
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did u know i think abt him a lot!
#once again abstracted from the original prompt LMAO. also i dont particularly like this one as much it doesnt fit what ive been thinking of.#but its something!! & im not spending more than an hour on these!!#i KNOW hearts arent in the center of the chest. they cant be made of blue glowing goo either -_-#jrwi freak week#dakota cole#gore#esquisse
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duck adventurer
#art#artists on tumblr#crayon#duck#sword#is it weird i kinda get more of a mood boost doodling something kinda ok w crayons than the things i put loads of effort into in other medi#like i spend hours on a painting and it looks ok but im always like. this could be better. this should be better. u just dont know how#and crayons its literally only: :D the crayon thing looks ok!!! nice!!!
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making breezehome in makeplace ffxiv btw. if anyone was wondering how my night was going
#'wouldnt this be a funny joke?' <- the devil probably#where's that post that's like - if you spend more than an hour working on something ironically. it is unfortunately no longer ironic!#heater-talks#ffxiv#upstairs is a mess but its actually. almost done. HEEHEE.#but its a job for tomorrow. im good night.
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not being able to draw whenever i want to is having unexpected effects
#talk talk talk#i cant sit at my desk for more than 2-3 hours without having to go lay down bc im still recovering#and it hurts a little#which has caused me to realize i spend like 8-10ish hours drawing every single day off and on with rare expection#which is something ive just never had to think about before#but not being able to draw when i want to is making me want to claw my eyes out bro#not to sound like a freak or a loser but im anguishing#on the plus side its forcing me to actually write out comic planning stuff instead of opening a notepad and winging it#like 3 minutes before making the panels
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i just got called an edog what the hell man
anyways rant in tags. ignore if you like
#insulting me? alr yeah thats fine#BUT INSULTING MY DUO????? death penalty#especially considering that THATS MY BROTHER?????#but i didnt tell them that#reyna mains are a different breed good lord#i mean im not that pissed?? just. kinda surprised at their audacity.#i mean ur swearing and whatnot complaining about teamates#its kinda sad actually#like my guy we're just tryina do a silly combo and rank up what the hell man :(#not to mention your sitting on your lazy ass typing this shi and not even playing the game.#your more focused on one-upping a kid than strategizing and i dunno.. HELPING US WIN????#you spend more hours of your sad life yelling at others behind the safety of a screen to feel superior#instead of actually doing something worthwhile.#something that would require real effort and not racking your dense brain for a good insult while you type with your cheeto-dusted fingers#i would suggest you make friends but with your insufferable way of treating complete strangers it would do the world better if you dont#you damn pig.#OKAY I THINK ITS ALL OUT OF MY SYSTEM#we're good we're good#sorry gang#i try to keep this blog all silly and full of good vibes but. yknow#HOPEFULLY this will be my only serious rant. just needa get this out there yknow what i mean?#valorant#rant post
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I think I'm falling in love
#my best friend jack and i have been drifting closer and closer over the past few months#and on Monday night after work we met up at wingstop and ate there and sat for a bit#and then we left right before they closed and then stood in the parking lot hugging for over two hours#just hugging and swaying and talking#and we agreed that we're on the same page and that we're both into each other romantically#but he just got out of a relationship with a rocky break up and another ex is being a crazy bitch at the moment#so we agreed we're both ready for and we're not going anywhere but we cant start anything yet#and then i was like we both close tomorrow night we should hang out again#and he was like well we can watch a movie at my place and you can sleep on the couch#spoiler alert: we slept in his bed snuggled up together#and out pact to take it slow fizzled out real quick when we discovered how much fun it is to kiss each other#cut to friday night#were both closing at work but hes out like two hours later than me#we text literally non stop#im going to a wawa to get air in my tires and he asks which wawa#he gets to leave work early bc he was done and comes and meets me at the wawa#where we proceed to stand in the parking lot hugging for another hour at least#occasionally kissing#but now this week hes working literally night shifts all week#2230-0700#but saturday he picked up a shift where i work and its the same out time as me#and were gonna go to his place and hang out after again#and im literally so excited just to spend more time with him#he and i match each other's energy so well its crazy#in my head ive started calling him my boyfriend but i cant do that yet even at work#bc he used to work where i work and everyone there is nosy as fuck#and they def will notice if i get a bf out of the blue and also i smile stupid big whenever someone mentions jack#anyway carrie this is me telling you but you can literally not tell anyone else istg#if i hear from mom and dad that you said something......#personal
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pyrr pyrriax is significantly less productive when it spends several hours just bouncing between vcs in pursuit of human interaction
#haunted ecosystem#i spent the last several hours just chilling muted in a vc with a few people i dont really Know but we're friendly so it works#bonus was playing on an mc server at the same time and immediately making it my goal to harass jack#i got caught in a self-instated death loop trying to get him to free my corpse from his claim PDVNDJK#however: i now have an area where i get to set up a farm and become a beast (spend several hours lost in farmer's delight)#its okay its better than the average of like 11 hour calls#i write significantly less when i'm being social and not just in my little hole in the wall scribbling random concepts#also i need to read more fic to get my brain going again since currently i am lacking in things kicking around in my skull#aside from a concerning amount of oc stuff that will likely never see the light of day beyond ocassional snippet posts#im planning to work on a few projects i just also need to. not have things i need to work on#im working on a gift fic thats a little late but i just need to Come Up With Something
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#i mean in the nicest way possible#but like when you're in med school you truly have to have your priorities straight#bc otherwise you're going to end up doing just mediocre#and like#who wants a mediocre doctor to help them#there's some shit you have to sacrifice sometimes#sometimes its spending time doing things you like sometimes its asking for help with your responsibilities#sometimes its knowing you're gonna get an hour or two of sleep bc you have to finish doing everything you have to do#and if you're not gonna learn how to prioritize and be responsible idk if there's a point 😭#like im sorry#ik mental health is incredibly important more than anyone else#but we're training to be people who will literally have to save someones from dying at one point#us being late or us not studying or us not knowing something can literally kill someone#i just#ugh#it pisses me off how some actual friends dont take this seriously#and like oh im sleepy bc ive been doing other stuff all day im not gonna study i think#LIKE BROTHER IN CHRIST#and the worst part is like#i feel so bad saying this but we should be taking 5 classes each semester so we can get to intern year#this person is taking only 3#like bro we've literally had exam after exam every day this week#we're exhausted too#we just gotta suck it up
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I have had a VERY busy week (positive but very very socially draining) and I am ABOUT to have a few days of work and then ANOTHER very busy week (work, 2 different appointments and a job interview) and I just wanna take a moment and remind myself that I may take longer to do things than average but im still DOING them and it's. Okay to still feel tired several days after making a phonecall
#idk im having a lil moment of clarity/calm in the middle of.#what feels like a storm of there Always Being Something that i need to do#and thats never gonna go away but its okay to take a breather here and there to help me keep pushing at it#feeling very positive today bc i got offered an interview for a youth councillor role locally#the main problem with it is its 20 hours a week and a 6 month contract. so i cant leave my current job for it#BUT it would allow me to reduce my hours a bit doing something hopefully less emotionally intense#the coffee shop below us ia recruiting again too which. isnt the best look tbh but i think if im doing two jobs id rather#have one there bc like. ive done fast food#i know i can handle it at its worst for at least a while and the bougie coffee place isnt likely to hit those peaks#so yeah! lots of stuff going on lots to do#definitely not talking to friends as much as i should be#but heres kind of why i guess and currently at least im. feelin pretty good!#we also made it through last month without asking for help#which. is huge but being undercut a little by me spending more than i intended and being mega nervous abt it#not sure how this month is gonna go. but. baby steps.
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Benadryl my enemy and also my best friend
#unfortunately i am icarus reincarnated and i always tempt fate when i buy a new bottle of benadryl . currently waiting for twenty to hit#im already regretting it#i took it WAY too late . it's almost 10:30 dude im gonna be fucked tomorrow morning#i sleep in so much after taking more than like twelve#currently tryna find a show or a game or something to watch for when this hits bc im not gonna be able to do shit#and im just gonna spend three hours staring at the blank space my phone should be again#drug abuse#tagging it for blacklist reasons#sorry its like . recreational benadryl abuse that i partake in regularly
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#yea. this dizziness and lightheadedness and heart shebang is worse than good old#fibromyalgia brain fog and exhaustion and zombie like state#i actually hate this#id actually so much rather trade this for being in more physical pain#im laying down and still feel so lightheaded and out of it#it feels like i spend 4 hours smoking too much weed except im sober#or like I haven't slept in days#everything is fuzzy snd its like my head isnt properly attacked to my neck#theres definetely something wrong w the nerves in my neck and spine#every time the dizziness and light-headedness and heart beating#out of my chest starts the back of my neck feels deeply deeply uncomfortable#not hurting necessarily but like something in my spine isnt connected properly
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#tired of the leave america shit#hate my country and hate defending it but it feels like i have to with Harry and Louis#what started as a joke has spiraled out of control like being happy when Americans don't get something#some of you that aren't from here i honestly don't think you understand how large our country actually is#and im tired of having the conversation of how its normal for NA to have more dates on a tour then the uk and Europe or LATAM#because of how spread out our country is and the time it takes to get to one state to the next#unless you have the money or get very lucky and your vacation you always take (like me ) lines up with tour dates you're shit out of luck#of going to one ahow let alone multiple#like with the residency it was why are the same people there every night because they probably live in NY or NJ or LA or Chicago or Austin#and its just the ticket prices for them but for everyone else in the country we had to think about airfare hotels gas (if we drove)#i ended up spending well over 5000 to see Harry in NY but there were people there all fifteen nights#because they could go home and eat the food in their fridge and maybe go to their job the next day#if la would have gotten that aotv premiere people would have said Americans get everything but news flash#i will probably never see LA and i live in the same god damn country as it but a plane is three hours and a car ride is three days#are we more privileged than most countries hell yeah but just because an artist does something in our country doesn't mean its easy access#god after that maybe i need to leave fandom for awhile#rant
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what does it mean when i feel like each minute passes excruciatingly slowly even when i invest my full attention into something for what feels like a long time
#cro zone#like i will zone out and have what feels like 20 minutes worth of thoughts and then i zone back in and 3 minutes have passed#or like the space between each second is so vast even though im not actively counting them#is it just my brain firing more rapidly than it needs to thus simultaneously over- and under-stimulating itself?#making me feel exhausted and burnt out despite not having done anything???#i hatethis ik its caused by something between my autism and cptsd but like .what do i do about it. besides drugs#plixiphobia is crazy i would literally rather take pills off the sidewalk than spend an hour not doing anything#meanwhile my brain is like 'any moment could be your last so each moment is going to be approximately 3.5 hours'
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arts so stupid whyd i have to choose it to be The Thing I Do
#put effort into shit and spend hours on it and then it gets nothing and it sucks#or dont and either you get deserved nothing or you feel bad that the bad shit got popular#usually the first kne#god why couldn't i have done like literally anything else#is it my style i know its not the best but i didnt think it was that bad#or am i just not good at it. am i making myself look stupid#tumblrs fucking awful but everyones on here twitters barely better i get more but its just the same like 7 mutuals#shoutout those guys btw. love all of my mutuals but the same few ppl on twitter that like like all my art are inspiring idk how#they deal with me#tiktoks fine i get like 30-50 likes per art dump bit then again when my average likes over there are over a hundred if not 200#its not as nice#god im such a self centered freak arent i why do i even care about fucking social media shit#i tell myself that but then like last night this plus like one person ignoring me managed to make me suicidal for a few hours#so thats nice#trying so hard to not be jealous and a bitch but at the same time what makes me so much worse than everyone else that the stuff i put so#much effort into gets so little attention while people can put barely anything into something and get so much#god i really need to get offline#but theres literally nothing irl for me to do instead#and online is where all the stuff pertaining to my hyperfixation is#someone just fucking kill me at this point#jello shut up challenge#am i having an episode or some shit im actually so serious for the past like month or two ive been like this every night#man i really wish my therapist hadnt quit right about now
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