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zuffer-weird-girl · 4 years ago

Note

bittersweet angst/smut of dabi telling is s/o his plans and how he might not come back alive so they like have their last night together 👀👀👀👀

NSFW, under the age of 18 pls dont read.

The clock hand was the only thing that made noise. the more time went by the more you wanted to break down that door and go after your boyfriend.

Just something inside your chest screamed out loud that something bad was going to happen. something was not going to end well ... for a while you just blamed your anxiety on it, but no ...

It was something much, much worse than being worried about the boyfriend who is late to come home ...

The creak you heard minutes after was enough for you jump out of the sofa with a gasp, whispering your boyfriend's name as you saw him casually closing the door behind him before looking at you in shock.

"Still awake doll?"

"I couldn't sleep..." you muttered while walking towards him and hesitantly lifting your arms up to hug him "I just cant stop thinking that tommorow somethinh is going to happen."

He frowned but smirked... bringing you close as one of his hands carresed your hair as he rested his scarred chin on the top of your head.

"I wouldn't say a bad thing... maybe tommorow is finally the day all this hero society bullcrap is gone." He pulled away and smiled, genuily smiled down at you "Arent you happy?"

You frowned at him before sighing, prying his hands gently out of you as his face fell.

"I'm scared Dabi." Yoj emphasize the word while finally looking into his turquoise eyes "I'm both scared of losing you and my own life! Heroes wont go easy on us... especially the number of homicides you... And that Hawks guy he just-" you gripped your hair with tears slthreatening to spill from your eyes before you gasped when you felt him embracing you once again.

"Then get a bit far away from the center... I want you safe and sound. But you know that I cant and wont back down on this..." he gritted his teeth at the last sentence as you sighed and hugged his neck.

"I know.. you were always a thick skull." You laughed which made him snort "Promise me you will come back like you always do..."

"... I cant promise this time (Y/n)..." his heart clenched at the sob that ripped from your throat and the way you clinged onto him.

"Dont say things like that!" You sobbed, punching his chest lightly "You jerk! You HAVE to come back to still annoy the absolute fuck of me! Keep me warm at nights where my feet are freezing cold yet despite you complaining you do anyway! Y-You cant just leave me because of those heroes..." your hand slided down his chest as tears fell on his shirt and floor.

"I know..." if his tears ducts were still there he swore he would be crying along with you by the way he heard his voice breaking "Cant believe you atture to be with me..." he chuckled sadly while clinging onto you as you cried on him.

He waited until you were a bit calm to pick your chin to look down at you.

"You know the best part when I'm far away from you?" You furrowed your eyebrows up at him at listening his words.

"What..?"

"I get to think only about you." He whispered with a smirk, his nose touching yours as you giggled with teary eyes before kissing him...

Blue eyes widened at you starting but he closed his eyes while holding your hip and nape of your neck.... Nibbling a bit on the bottom of your lip, you parted your lips for his tongue to enter to not dominate like he usually does... but just carres your tongue with his.

You parted with a sigh and teary eyes as he stared down at you with soft yet lustful blue gaze.

"I will do everything to make this not my last night with you ... but if it doesn't ... I prefer that you remember me, in every way possible ... if you let me, of course." He never asked, Dabi was a man of action...

So, controlling your tears you simply nodded. Desperately for his touch until you could at least have it.

"Just make me think of you then, Dabi ..." you sobbed before he picked you up and groaned with the passionate and greedy kiss that this man gave you, lifting you up in his arms and carrying you to the bedroom.

(Read at your own risk from here)

He gently laid you on the bed, standing between the middle of your legs and looking over, his scarred hands remained on either side of your head before he bent down and started any kind of kiss and anywhere he could reach on thhat position for now...

"Dont tease me..." you whimpered as he nibbled on your earlobe, his chuckles sending shivers down to your core.

"You cant say that you dont like it though, after all-" you gasped at feeling only one of his digits rubbing at your clothed clit "You can't hide from me how you're feeling sugar~"

You glared at him between pants before grabbing his head and pulling him down by your own type of kiss... your teeth hitted once or twice on the middle of it, but neither of you could care.

Especially Dabi when he started to move his hips against yours... and you couldn't help but to jump against him as well.

"We aren't horny teenagers to dry humor each other-" you giggled on his mouth as he chuckled, open mouth kissing you.

"Eager then..." he growled when you palmed his erection through his pants, he cursed under his breath when he only tugged on your shirt as a ask for permission, smirking when you eargly nodded and already went for his jacket and shirt to take it off.

You lost track on time, all you knew that was only you with Dabi making out, only underwear clothes. He chuckled as he rubbed your bottom area before looking down at you like a carnivore.

"I didn't even started and you are already so wet... begging for me to fill you up?"

"Stop being a cocky bastard for once." You grunted before wrapping your legs on his waist and immeditaly using your force to take the top position as he lifted one of his eyebrows.

He got what you were doing with a "oh" when you tugged his black boxers down and sighed shakily at how hard this man was already.... sweetly grabbing between your hand ass you lowered your head down to give a kiss, smirking when you felt twitch and how Dabi seemed way more impatient as you were.

Opening your mouth slowly, you took his girth slowly as you licked and sucked like a lollipop, the growls from your boyfriend were what wagered you more to swallow your cheeks and take a bit more of him, adoring how he grunted and grabbed your hair.

"Dont start something you wont finish..." he panted as you only blinked and sucked a bit more, taking him out of your mouth to lick the base of his cock slowly as he threw his head back.

"Fuuuck doll..." he trsuted his hips a bit whem you took him on your mouth again and gagged when he hitted the back of your throat "Shit, sorry.." he panted as you gave one last suck before looking at him.

"Now you're apologizing for this one or for ALL you did so far." He smirked down at you before digging your head back when you went to take him again.

"No." One simply word was enough for you to back down as he rolled you back down on the bed, kissing you before reaching his hand on the neat nightstand before your hand grabbed on your wrist. "You arent on the pills (Y/n).."

"I know..." you whispered as he hummed in understatement, nuzzling his nose against yours.

Slowly, he slipped his fingers beneath the hem of your panties to take it off, toying just a bit with his free hand, two fingers inside eof you as he kept kissing your chest and stomach.

When his fingers got out you whimpered at the loos, being mumbled by Dabi's lips on yours before you gasped at the feeling of your boyfriend poking his tip on you, pre-cum smearing and mixing with the mess he and you created.

"You're sure? We're always been careful.." he nonchantly commended befor eyou cupped his face on your hands.

"Please..." you almost whimpered as he furrowed his eyebrows, lowering his head once again to cage your lips with his, slowly getting inside of you and scretching your walls.

You moaned on his mouth as he started to take hesitant slow trust... picking up his pace as time went by and hearin your begs... his trust carried so many different feelings. When usually he was rough and pace fast now his hips moved with force yet passionately. His lips would stay longer on yours, here and there usually leaving a hickey but the meaning was on how actually soft he was being.

"I dont want this to be the end..." you panted between tears of pleasure and sadness as you gripped on his back, mindfull on where his scars and stables were.

"(Y/n)..." he called as you looked into his eyes, bed frame actually shaking when he started to pick up even more "I love you..."

He cursed and threw his head on your neck, mouthing and knitting it when you clenched around him him as you cried and grabbed onto him with force.

"Shit, If I knew you were going to squezze my cock so tight with three words I would say it more often..." he joked while ramming onto you as you cried his name while clenching even more onto him "You're going to cum? Huh? You're going to cum like the good girl you are for me?" You sobbed and noddedeargly as he thrusted with more force and quickening his pace at the maximun he could "Use your words with me hottie."

"Yes dammit!" You sobbed and literally cried out loud when he suddenly slowed his pace and rubbed your clit for overstimulation "Dabi please!"

"Who makes you loved?" He mumbled, face hidden on your skin as you cried, not even trying to thrust your hips up to get more friction since he had a hold on your wrist.

"You.."

"Who makes this pussy greddy for my cock?" He chuckled at your distress, slowly even the motion on his hands.

"You!"

"Who will you cheer on and milk his cock for all his worthy?"

"You Dabi! Okay?! You!" You screamed before moaning when he harshly started to hit the tip of his cock on your G-spot and soon enough you saw white as you muffled your moan by your hands as he fucked you in your glassy state.

"Shit..!" He cursed, ropes of his white thick seed painting your walls white as he rode you on his orgasm before falling on top of you with heavy pants and biting your neck to prevent his moan to get out.

You hugged him with a tear soaked face as he hugged your waist, slowly pulling out and chuckling at your whining and pulling you to rest on his chest.

"I forgot to tell..." he spoke after a bit as he drained imaginary figures on your back as you rested on his chest. "Tommorow... all the world, will know what Endeavour did... who I am for real. My good name." You widened your eyes and tried your best to lift your self up... tem your body was already like a hello so Fabi stood firm on holding you.

"I know you're worried. But this needs to be done.... I forgot to ask you one more thing..." he looked down at you with pain on his eyes as tears started to roll down your cheeks "Will you watch me? And miss this jerk?" He chuckled sadly, wiping the many tears that rolled down your cheeks and dropped on his bare chest.

"T-Toya..." you whimpered as he shook his head, embracing you as he sitted on the bed, eyes closed as he could feel only his eyes burning, but no tears actually came or ever will.

"Stop being a crybaby (Y/n).." his voice cracked as he holded you close "Dont you know that if you cry I will want to but I cant even fuckind do it?"

He listened to your sobs until you came to a slumber on him... carresing your skin and not even getting a glimpse of sleep on the whole night, even hearing the birds out there singing.

He got up, carefull on not taking you out of your dream land as he changed himself, coming back in the room to pull the cover up and lowering his face down to plant one last kiss on your lips and temple.

"See you... take care of yourself my princess." His voice cracked before walking out of the door and wearing his coat... His stoic and unreadable face back on as his heavy foots hitted the floor as he walked towards where all were suppose to be.

#dabi x reader #dabi imagine #dabi scenarios #bnha characters #bnha x reader #bnha villains x reader #zuffer writings

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witchcraft-in-wonderland · 4 years ago

Text

Rockabye Royalty (One-Shot)

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"I dont care! Just get out of my house! I'm not taking care of a stupid baby!" Virgil's head rang with the sound of his boyfriend's yells. He hadnt meant for this to happen. He'd been on the pill, there was hardly a time when he wasn't. Erin had promised to keep him safe, he'd promised that nothing was going to break them apart. Yet here he was with fury in his eyes, holding a stick with two lines on it.

"Erin you promised! You said you werent going to leave!" Tears were pouring from Virgil's eyes, his chest was tight, he could barely see straight.

"I never promised anything for a baby!." And then Virgil was on the sidewalk, leaning against the building with his head in his hands. He couldn't go back inside to get his things, that was for sure.

"I'm so sorry. . ." He whispered, holding a hand to his stomach. They were supposed to be a family, they were supposed to be happy together. He was only twenty, he couldnt take care of a baby.

Virgil waited for himself to calm down, staring up at the sky in the hopes that no one would look at him.

When he finally calmed down he made his way to the nearest hotel he could find, he supposed it was lucky he'd always remembered his friend's advice of keeping the large bills in bras, Erin had always hated looking at those. Virgil pulled out a few before walking inside, covering up with his hoodie so it didnt look strange.

"How many nights can this cover?" Virgil said to the woman at the desk, placing a few twenties on the counter. He bit his lip, not really expecting an answer.

The woman looked him up and down, a sympathetic look in her pale green eyes.

"Stay as long as you need sweetheart, I'll cover it for you," Virgil let out a sigh of relief, he felt like he was about to start crying.

"Thank you thank you thank you-" he stopped himself from adding anymore thank yous at the last minute.

"Do you need anything special in particular?" Asked the woman, Virgil scanned for her name tag, Mrs. Evans.

"I uh-" he paused, shuffling his feet. He wasnt sure this would count as special arrangements or get him turned away. Subconsciously he pulled his hoodie further over his stomach.

Mrs. Evans' eyes widened, a look of realization dawning on her face. She ducked under the counter and thrust a key into his hands.

"Here you go, room 13, and dont you worry about meals or anything, it's all free," she pushed a few magazines toward him, a quick scan of the covers showed him a few job opportunities. Virgil merely nodded, scooping up the magazines and rushing off to the room, he heard Mrs. Evan's making a call in the distance, she sounded worried, he felt a twinge of guilt in his chest.

The room was larger than he'd expected for only having one bed. There was a tv, multiple appliances, including a coffee machine, and of course, a bathroom. Virgil sat down in the couch at the corner of the room, opening the blinds slightly before holding his hands to his face.

"Oh gods what am I going to do for clothes? I cant go looking for jobs yet! I wouldnt even be able to stay that long!" He didnt really know who he was talking to, there was no one else in the room.

He got an answer to his question a few days later when what seemed to be a trash bag full of clothing showed up on his doorstep. He picked up the card attached to it, but all that was there was the image of a heart bursting into flames, with a crown around its middle. Virgil shrugged and dragged the clothes into the room. It was mostly hoodies and overly large t-shirts, but there were a few outfits in an appropriate size as well. He set to work on hanging them all up, ignoring the pain in his stomach.

The real problem started a few months later. He'd been laying on his bed watching the tv and flipping through a magazine when he felt it, the baby was coming.

He didn't think he'd have time to get to the hospital, but he remembered an offer Mrs. Evan's, or Cassira as he knew her now, had made a few days after he'd gotten there. He buzzed the front desk quickly and in a matter of minutes, there she was.

Virgil didnt remember much else, if he was being honest with himself he'd probably passed out. When he opened his eyes he was laying in the bath tub, a mess of towels and a pair of underwear and sweatpants discarded on the floor. He blinked a few times, and then he heard crying.

"Shhh, shhh, it's ok little one,look, daddy's awake, its ok," Cassira was holding something swaddled in Virgil's hoodie, she passed it over to him and he held the small child in his arms.

"Its a girl," Cassira said, not putting much emphasis on the last word.

"Hi," Virigl said softly, looking at the mini version of himself swaddled in the jacket. She had the same soft face, and the same purple and green heterochromia, though her hair was a more jet black color, like Erin's. She smiled as she looked at Virgil, letting out a laugh somewhat like wind chimes.

"You let me know if you need anything," said Cassira. Virgil nodded and watched her leave.

He sat there for a while, watching the bundle in his arms with a fond smile on his face.

"I think we'll call you, Olivia," Virgil said, holding her close.

It took him a few minutes to finally get out of the tub, clean up, and redress himself, all the while keeping Olivia safe.

About six years had passed, Virgil was working full time at a retail job, the only thing he could get while he was working on a degree in Education. When he wasnt working or studying, all of his time went to Olivia. While they were still living at the hotel, Virgil had finally started earning enough to pay for her clothes and schooling and at least a few toys. He was looking into houses as well, he couldn't live in Room 13 for the rest of his life, even if it was free.

Virgil watched Olivia play with a rubik's cube he'd bought her as he wandered the aisles of the shopping center, uncomfortably aware of the people around him.

"Remus I'm just saying! It's not that bad of an idea!" Virgil stopped the cart just moments before a tall man with dark crimson hair and green eyes walked out in front of it.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!" Virgil growled.

The man stopped "Remus I'm gonna have to call you back," he said, hanging up the phone.

"Sorry about that," he said.

"And who is this little princess," the man turned his attention to Olivia, who was sticking her tongue out in concentration over the colorful block in her hands.

"'m Olivia," she said quietly, giggling.

"And we were just leaving," Virgil said, anxious to get out of the aisle. Whoever this man was, he didnt want to be near him for to long.

The man opened his mouth to speak, but Virgil was already pushing past him.

But that wasnt the last time he'd meet the man. The two started seeing each other at nearly every store, on the way to the movies, and eventually, at the hotel itself.

"Ok, can you just admit you're stalking me like some freak or are you just going to act all innocent every time we bump into each other," Virgil said, covering Olivia's ears.

"I'm not doing it on purpose!" Said the man, Virgil took a step back.

"Wait- I didnt mean-" the man paused for a second, looking at his hands.

"Look, I'm not intentionally trying to meet up with you, though you seem like a nice guy, my name is Roman Prince-Duke, I run a modeling agency with my brother," Roman said, tapping his fingers together.

"Oh?" Virgil raised an eyebrow slightly.

"I wasnt taking pictures of you! I mean I'd like to- but like as a job! Not in a creepy way!" Virgil's face went red. This seemed to catch Olivia's attention, as she finally stopped fumbling with his hoodie strings to look over at Roman.

"Daddy's gonna marry a prince," she whispered, causing the blush on Virgil's face to grow even further. Roman let out a small chuckle, covering his mouth.

"Ollie that's not how it works sweetie," Virgil said with a laugh.

"So how much would I be paid? What are the requirements?" Virgil asked.

"Fifty dollars per photo, and you get to make the decision on outfits used and pose adjustments," Roman said.

"Alright, I'll bite," Virgil said, if he was honest, he'd do anything to get out of his current job.

It was about a week before he could finally make the shift. He'd decided to bring Olivia with him to the building. It was large and ornate, posters of attractive men and women were smiling down at him. But it was different, the people in the photos were dancing, singing, they were acting like people. Virgil pushed the door open, snatching Olivia out just before she started spinning it in circles.

"Daddy look!" Olivia pointed upwards towards a fountain at the center of the room.

"I see it Ollie," Virgil said, smiling. He walked to the front desk, where a short man with light brown hair and round glasses was typing away at a computer.

Virgil was about to open his mouth before the boy looked up, and noticed Olivia.

"Oh my gosh look at you! Arent you just the cutest thing!" Olivia giggled as the man ruffled her hair.

"You must be Virgil then? Roman's been absolutely raving about you," said the man.

"Did I hear my name Patton?" Roman said as he walked into the room, and then he noticed Virgil.

"Virgil! Lovely!" He clasped his hands together.

"Come with me, Patton can take care of Olivia while we're at our meeting," Roman said. Virgil stood there for a few seconds, looking between Patton and Olivia before finally letting go of her hand. She rushed behind the desk and stood on her tiptoes to stare at the computer.

Roman's office was covered in decorations of mythical creatures and outfit designs. In the center es a desk with two large and comfy looking chairs in front and behind it. Virgil sat down in the one in front, watching as Roman made his way to the opposite one.

"So, first things, you seem to be more into comfort yes? Overly large sweaters, t-shirts, sweatpants, that kind of thing?" Virgil nodded.

"Anything you absolutely wont do? Any aversions to skirts? Dresses?" Roman continued.

"As long as it's not form fitting and you cant see anything on my chest or below my waist I dont care," Virgil replied. Roman nodded and wrote something down.

Virgil had been at the job for about two months when he noticed the changes. He'd already known that he thought Roman was hot, but now Roman seemed to want to be around him more as well.

They went out for ice cream after photo shoots, Roman came with Virgil to pick out a new house, if Virgil needed a break Roman would let Patton watch Olivia so they two of them could have spa days.

Virgil had been suppressing it for a while, he didnt want to believe he was falling in love again, or that a boy was falling in love with him. He was afraid, afraid Roman would become the new Erin. But fate seemed to have other plans.

They were relaxing in a hot tub, Virgil's back pressed up against one of the jets, head resting on the outer rim.

"Virgil, I've been planning on this for a while, and I think now might be the best time to tell you," Roman spoke softly, but Virgil could still feel his limbs tense.

"You can say no if you want, I wont mind, but I think- I think I want to go on a date with you, like an official one," Virgil looked up, clutching the edge of the 'seat'.

"Well- I uh- I mean you're very nice but I-" Virgil could feel tears forming in his eyes.

"Oh no no Virgil- dont cry- I understand, you dont have to, we can just be friends," Roman pushed Virgil's hair out of his face, worried evident in his eyes.

"I-I do want to be more than friends- but I-" Roman's eyes widened suddenly, his hand instinctively moving to Virgil's side, his thumb brushing against Virgil's stomach.

"I wont, I swear, you have my permission to chuck me off a building if I do," Roman said, earning a laugh from Virgil.

Virgil wrapped his arms around Roman's neck, pressing their foreheads together and smiling.

"Then yes, I will date you," and Roman pulled Virgil into a kiss that would only be rivaled by the one they shared ten years later, with Olivia by Virgil's side, and her girlfriend by Roman's, as Virgil finally realized he'd found the man who would keep him and his daughter safe for as long as the family lived.

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Tag list:

@nerosdayinhell

@meowthefluffy

@youtuberswithalex

@thecolorfulolive

@frog-candy-bee

@spooky-scary-virgil

@boobmaster69

@melodiread

@thefivecalls

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naughtyneganjdm · 6 years ago

Text

The Savior - Chapter 19

Summary: The reader learns more about Negan's past while they try to enjoy their small vacation together.

Characters: Negan & reader

Warnings: Swearing and the after effects of parental abuse.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11995341/chapters/40932143

Absolute bliss filled Y/N’s body as she kept her eyes closed and listened to the sounds of the waves splashing around her. It wasn’t often that she got to relax like this, but this specific moment in time felt amazing. The sun was beating down on her skin, the sound of the water was amazing and the warmth of Negan beside her made this a moment to remember. If someone would have told her months ago that she would be ditching school to spend a weekend with Negan somewhere she would have never believed them. School was so important to her, but this was nice. This was beyond nice.

Opening her eyes, she looked to her side to see Negan stretched out on the huge flat rock that they had swam to in the middle of the water. It wasn’t too far away from the shore, but it was far enough out to give them space alone. Negan had his sunglasses on and his arms were folded behind his head as he lay out in the sun.

Part of her was still confused as to why Negan decided to bring her to this place. It was nice to get to learn more about Negan’s past, but it still made her question things. It was sad, but it actually made her uncomfortable that Negan had all of this money. She was just trying to do her best to think past it and enjoy her time with Negan. Instead of thinking of it as his place, she was just attempting to think of this as a small vacation with Negan and that was all.

Gulping down, she shifted on the hard surface of the rock and turned on her side to face Negan. Reaching out, she traced her fingertips over Negan’s abdomen, watching it rise and fall with his breathing. Teasing her fingers through the thick hair over his body, she smiled and moved in to press a soft kiss over Negan’s chest. His heavy breaths told her that he was still somewhat asleep when she lowered her hand down his abdomen and slid her fingertips underneath his black swimsuit.

“Would you stop it,” Negan grumbled with a huff when her hand connected with his body and he reached down to collect her wrist before pulling her hand out from beneath the material. “You are like a fucking sex ninja. Dial back the horny…geez.”

“Oh please,” she giggled watching Negan push his sunglasses up to look over at her. “I learned from the best.”

“Well the best got drunk off his ass last night and he’s suffering from dehydration. My testicles need some time to replenish what I’m missing,” Negan bluntly responded making a laugh fall from her lips as he reached down to touch himself through his swimsuit. “Trust me, I like doing it with you, but I’m not kidding. The alcohol gave me a hangover and a half. I need time to restore everything.”

Negan gave her a silly wink before pushing his sunglasses back down over his face. He leaned up and over enough to press a quick kiss over her lips before lying back down.

“Do you realize how uncomfortable fucking would be on this thing?” Negan grumbled, getting comfortable again. “One of us would end up with bruises.”

“Who said it would have led to fucking?” she retorted and Negan’s eyebrow arched up over his sunglasses. “I’m just saying, maybe I would have just given you a hand job.”

“Oh no, you are too greedy for that,” Negan nonchalantly responded making her reach out to poke him in the ribs making a goofy laugh fall from his lips. “I’m just saying, everything leads to sex. It always does. I just want to sit out here and enjoy my time with you. I know the water is romantic and we’re on the beach so ultimately you want to have sex and we’ll do it before we leave, but right now just is not the time.”

“You are so romantic, you know that?” she rolled her eyes and got comfortable again beside him. Negan’s fingertips stretched out in search of hers so he could hold her hand and squeeze her fingers in his.

“It’s a talent,” Negan teased listening to the sound of the waves, allowing them to comfort him into relaxing, something that he hadn’t done in quite some time. “Just think, right now at this time you would be in school just waiting for the time to run out so we could go back to my house and just sit around for a while.”

“I like what we do when we are home. I mean, the beach here is amazing, but…” she sighed, reaching out to caress her hand in over the planes of his abdomen. She drew small shapes over his skin before frowning. “I like our normal life.”

“As opposed to?” Negan breathed out, confused where she was headed with things.

“Maybe I’m just not used to this whole thing yet. A big house right off the beach in a rich city…” she rambled on and Negan’s dimples sunk in the longer he listened to her ramble on.

“There are places around here that I know you will love,” Negan insisted, laying back again on the rock before some of the water splashed up on the rock onto them. Negan heard her gasp and let out a small laugh. “That does happen in the ocean here sweetheart.”

“Oh ha ha,” she playfully hit him in the center of his stomach and a deep laugh fell from his lips.

“How about I take you into town? It’s a nice little town and there is some really cool stuff down by the piers. What do you say?” Negan sat up on the rock and she followed his movements. “There are some areas I used to love down there that I think you would like.”

“Won’t people notice you? Are you sure you are okay with walking around with me?” she confirmed and he shrugged his shoulders. He pushed his fingertips into his wet hair to slick it back before smiling.

“It’s been a long time. I highly doubt these people are going to remember me anyway,” Negan moved out to grab a firm hold of her to pull her close. Tipping in closer to her, he nudged her jaw playfully with his thumb before cupping her face in his rough hands. “Plus I really love you and don’t care what anyone else thinks.”

“I love hearing you say that,” she hummed in approval as he kissed her a few more times before jumping into the water. “Are we going to head back there now?”

“It’s going to get dark soon. You’ll want to get some food in you and then we will walk around,” Negan answered after motioning her to follow him into the water. “So let’s go get showered and then see what we can get into.”

“This is a cute town,” Y/N muttered, following Negan out of the small diner that they had just eaten at. Negan had said that he thought no one would remember him, but so far he had run into several people that knew he was. No one questioned what he was doing with her, but it still felt odd being in a place where people clearly knew Negan and grew up with him. “You really liked it as a kid, huh?”

“I did,” Negan reached out to grab a tight hold of her hand and hooked his fingertips with hers. She was uncomfortable and gulped down, looking at their hands. “What’s wrong?”

“You’re okay with doing this out and about around here?” she confirmed and Negan smirked before nodding. “I mean, they know you Negan. Are you comfortable with them knowing that you are dating someone…younger?”

“Is it any of their business?” Negan’s eyebrow perked up and she let out a long sigh. “I’m fine. That’s all that matters. These people don’t know me. They know the me from when I was here. We live hours away from here. We’re okay.”

“If you…are comfortable with it,” she nodded, allowing him to hold onto her hand as they walked down Main Street. The city had bright lights filtering the street from the small shops and diners that were up and down the main road. “Thank you for dinner.”

“Absolutely,” Negan winked, bringing her hand up to his lips to deposit a small kiss over the back of her hand. Negan stopped in front of the stores to look at the display that was set up in the window and she stepped forward to look at a necklace that caught her eye. “You like that?”

“It’s beautiful,” she answered, looking to Negan with her big eyes before looking back to the piece of jewelry. Negan watched her with a smile and he urged her toward the shop after watching her eye it over. “What?”

“Let’s take a look,” he suggested and she let out a hesitant laugh. “Come on.”

“Negan no, I just…” she rejected, but felt Negan tugging her into the store and he pulled her closer to the necklace. Negan nodded toward it and he watched her lean in to look it over. “It is beautiful Negan, but…”

The price tag caught her eye and she let out an uncomfortable sound, “Not that beautiful…”

“Do you want it?” Negan offered and she shook her head quickly, trying to pull away from Negan. “It’s okay; if you want…I can get it for you. No biggie.”

“Oh it’s a biggie,” she tried to pull her fingers from his hand and he hushed her.

“Excuse me, can we see this please?” Negan pointed down at the necklace and he watched the person at the cash register motion him to wait a moment. Y/N uncomfortably pulled away from him and he laughed. “What’s wrong?”

“You can’t afford that,” she reminded him and Negan smirked, his bright smile expanding over his features.

“You know just as much as I do that that’s not true,” Negan pointed out and she felt her heart sinking at the fact that he was willing to spend his father’s money on her.

“But you aren’t the kind of person that uses that part of your money, remember?” she insisted with an uncomfortable breath as Negan gave her a confused look. “Teacher Negan could not afford that.”

Y/N pulled her hand away from Negan and quickly moved for the door, “I’m sorry Negan, I just…I can’t have you keep doing this.”

Moving out of the shop, she saw Negan still standing there somewhat confused. The person working in the store clearly came over to talk to Negan, but she didn’t feel comfortable with Negan buying her things. When she saw the shop keeper put the necklace back in the display at the front of the store she felt a sense of relief.

“What are you doing?” Negan walked out of the small shop and closed the door behind him. “If I want to buy you something…”

“I don’t want you to buy things for me. I just…I love you,” she insisted with a shake of her head, stepping forward to cup his face in her hands lovingly. “I don’t want you to think I’m with you for your money. I want you to know that I fell for…”

“The poor me?” Negan filled in her words and he saw her give a small head tilt. A laugh fell from his lips as he shook his head. “I know that. A while ago I stressed to you that I would never be anything more than what I was and you insisted that you still loved me for me. I know you are true to me. I don’t think you are with me for my family’s money. I didn’t bring you here to give you a panic attack. I brought you here so you could relax.”

“But you would probably never have to work again if you didn’t want to Negan. That’s how fucking rich you are,” you reminded him with a tense sound and Negan nodded slowly. “You are proud of who you are and what you have accomplished on your own. I don’t want me to be the reason you start dipping into your father’s money.”

“You are stressing way too fucking much,” Negan insisted with a snort. The sounds of laughing filled the air and she looked beyond Negan to see that between the shops she could see the ocean beyond the shops. There was a pier where they were clearly having some kind of event going on. “You want to go see?”

Nodding, she was eager to get away from this conversation and what was going on. The whole money situation just made her very uncomfortable and she didn’t want Negan to eventually get upset with her and assume that she just wanted his money.

Y/N followed Negan out onto a beach and toward a festival they were clearly having. They walked out onto the pier and there were multiple people that came up to Negan to hug and talk to him. She felt out of place. It was hard not to really, but when Negan was done he would eagerly turn back to her and tell her stories about the past. About the people that he had run into and things he had done as a kid. She loved hearing about his past, but there was something that was uncomfortable about all of this.

“I have to run to the restroom, do you think you could give me a minute and just…wait right here,” Negan urged her and she nodded. Taking a seat by the edge of the pier, she waited for Negan hearing the singing and dancing that was happening just beyond where she was sitting. Turning to look over her shoulder at the couples dancing together, she smiled brightly. The environment was beautiful and she could definitely see how everyone was happy here. She would be too if she grew up in a place like this. It was honestly beautiful and it seemed like the people were just…happy. It was rare compared to what she was used to.

“Where did your father go?” a voice pressed in behind Y/N making her shift uncomfortably on the bench she was sitting on. Y/N looked up to see a brunette standing before her. Clearing her throat uneasily, Y/N watched the brunette slide in beside her and Y/N felt uneasy. “My name is Emma. You’re not from around here are you?”

“He’s not…my father,” Y/N answered staring down at the hand that Emma had offered her. Emma’s dark brown eyes were watching her carefully and Y/N gulped down heavily. She accepted the hand shake and nodded. “Yeah, I’m definitely not from here.”

“I could tell,” Emma responded with a heavy sigh, looking around the area. “So if he’s not your father, then who is he?”

“Well…” Y/N began trying to think of a way to explain Negan to a total stranger. “He’s…”

“Oh fuck off Emma, you know she’s not my kid,” Negan’s voice filtered through the air, making Y/N sit up straighter on the bench and Negan squeezed between the space that was between the two. Negan sat down on the bench and wrapped his arm around Y/N. “Emma knows me. She knows I don’t have a kid, she’s just fucking with you to try and make you feel uncomfortable.”

“If you did end up having your kid though…it would probably be older than her wouldn’t it?” Emma recalled and Y/N felt every muscle in Negan’s body locking up. The fact that the woman knew about the child that Negan had lost as a teen told her that Negan and Emma had to be close. “It’s been a while Negan. Aren’t you going to introduce me?”

“Didn’t you introduce yourself already Emma?” Negan blurted out and he leaned in to nestle his nose against the side of Y/N’s neck. A whisper fell from his lips as she closed her eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

“And she is?” Emma egged Negan on and Negan laughed.

“None of your business,” Negan winked, looking over at Y/N for a moment. “Would you excuse us for a second? How about you go and get us a few churros over there? I’m kind of in the mood for something sweet.”

“Sure,” Y/N nodded with an unsure expression, but Negan pulled his wallet out of his pocket and handed some money to her before waiting until she was far enough away from him and Emma.

“Sending her to the longest line here Negan, that was smart…” Emma retorted with a half laugh. “So that’s the new flame of the week, huh? Little young for you, isn’t she?”

“Fuck off Emma,” Negan snarled, looking to her with a shake of his head. “She’s of age and I love her. We’ve been together for a few months and she means everything to me. So I don’t need a snake like you trying to filter into her brain with your stupid psychobabble bullshit that you do.”

“You love her? Wow,” Emma chuckled; looking to Y/N as she stood in the fairly large line that Negan had sent her off to. “That’s new for you isn’t it? I thought Lucille was the only woman that you ever loved.”

“Yeah, well…times change,” Negan shrugged his shoulders, leaning forward on the bench. “I thought if I came here I could avoid people like you.”

“People that know the real you?” Emma snapped back making Negan take in a sharp breath. “What does a girl like that want with you? Your daddy’s money?”

“Up until this weekend she knew nothing about my parent’s wealth,” Negan insisted with a firm nod. “We’re good together. She loves me and I love her. We’re very much alike and that’s that.”

“So she’s a good fuck, huh?” Emma egged on further and Negan rolled his eyes. “Sex is a big thing for you Negan, she has to be pretty important to get you to want to be with her and be official, right?”

“I don’t know what you are trying to pull here Emma, but you did this shit with Lucille too and it worked on her,” Negan thought back to his younger years and he shrugged his shoulders. “I didn’t want to be in a relationship with you. You think after all of these years you would just…get over it.”

“You think that’s what this is?” she questioned with a growl and Negan nodded, his thick eyebrows arching up as he nodded. “People don’t know the real you Negan. You like to pretend that you are this nice guy, but you can only put a mask for so long.”

Negan nodded and looked toward Y/N who seemed nervous and looked back at him. Negan waved his fingers and shot her a small smile. Y/N smiled back and stepped further up in the line.

“So tell me Negan…are you still really bad at sex?” Emma dug deeper at trying to annoy Negan. A laugh fell from Negan’s lips as he looked to her with a shake of his head.

“You know I’m not bad at sex,” Negan retorted with a snort. “The last time we fucked you had no problems with what I did.”

“Yeah, but the first time…” she began and Negan held his hands up in the air to silence her.

“You were the first girl I slept with Emma. Of course I was awful,” Negan laughed uneasily before shrugging his shoulders. “What the hell is the point of this? Why do you always want to pop in and try to fuck with my head and the head of people I love? I don’t even live here anymore. I’m here for the weekend. I don’t want to be with you, I don’t want to rekindle what has happened in the past…I’m here with the girl I love and that’s that. We’re just here to enjoy our time.”

“You do realize…you are just going to do what you always do, right?” Emma leaned forward in her seat. “You are your father’s son Negan. You know that.”

“I’m not my father,” Negan snapped, looking to Emma with a shake of his head.

“Really? Your father cheated on your mother. Your father was very abusive both mentally and physically,” Emma dug further into Negan watching his fists curl up in the center of his lap. “How were you with Lucille again?”

“I never physically abused Lucille and you know that,” Negan growled, his thick eyebrows adding emphasis to the anger that was pressing in over Negan’s face. “You’re just a bitch.”

“So tell me Negan, are you still all about you when it comes to sex?” Emma stood up and followed Negan toward the edge of the pier. “Just fuck until you cum? Does your new girl give the oral most of the time? You were always very selfish when it came to that kind of stuff.”

“I’m far from selfish,” Negan answered with a shake of his head. His face was on fire and he knew that Emma was trying to work him up, but he couldn’t help getting irritated. “In fact I make her cum all the time. The first few months we were together, I was always the one that was giving and not receiving. You remember how good I was the last time Emma and I think that’s why you are such a nasty bitch.”

“Can you blame me Negan?” she inquired and Negan shrugged his shoulders. “It sounds like you have everything figured out with this one, huh?”

“Yeah, I do…” Negan nodded, looking to see that Y/N was up at the counter to order what he had asked of her. “And what kills you is the fact that she’s the one I’m making squirt at night, not you.”

“Oh, right. You make her squirt,” Emma chuckled and Negan nodded with a proud smile. “Sure. I’d love to see that.”

“I’m sure you would, but I do,” Negan licked his lips and looked to Y/N with a proud smirk. “We’re very good together. Physically…and mentally. So if you will please piss off, I’m trying to give her a good weekend and I really would rather not see your face for the rest of this week.”

Negan moved around the brunette before him and headed off in the direction of Y/N to wrap his arm around her shoulders when she handed him over the churro that he had asked of her.

“I think we should go for a walk on the beach…” Negan urged Y/N before Negan headed off in the opposite direction of where Emma was. A moment later Emma cut them off and Negan let out a frustrated sound.

“Listen, we got off on the wrong foot. I just hope you have a good weekend,” Emma held her hands up in the air as if to say goodbye. “Keep an eye on this one. A lot like his father he is…”

“Negan,” Y/N stopped Negan from getting agitated and she pulled him away from the pier and urged him to follow her to the beachside. Negan’s face was red and she could tell by the way his nose was scrunched up and the lines that were over his forehead that he was angry. “Ex-girlfriend, huh?”

“I don’t even think that’s what I would call her,” Negan huffed and he felt Y/N reaching out to grab a tight hold of his jawline to urge him to look at her. “I’m really sorry. I should have thought about the past and how it could…”

“I don’t care about your past. You are honest with me about everything and I’m not worried about the past. I love you…all of you,” she hushed him seeing the lines his forehead relaxing as she stroked his rough cheek. “But let me tell you something…you are nothing like your father. You are a wonderful, sweet caring man. She doesn’t know you at all.”

“She probably knows me quite well…” Negan tried to state with a heavy sigh and Y/N shook her head slowly. “I wasn’t a good guy.”

“That was the past,” she insisted, tipping up on her toes to press a loving kiss over his lips and he felt her fingertips brushing throughout his hair. “We’re living in the present and that’s all that matters. Who you were then isn’t who you are now. You’re not your father. You never were and you never will be.”

Negan nodded, lowering his head enough to rest his forehead against hers while she held him in her arms. Negan took the time to just enjoy being held by her. Their relationship was so different in comparison to all his previous ones and he was surprised with how much he loved being around her.

“You should probably eat those churros you made me stand in line forever to get,” Y/N reminded him of the treat that was still in his hand. “I know it was just to get me away for a minute, but you better eat those after all the time I spent in line for that shit.”

“Yes ma’am,” Negan snorted urging her to follow him to the edge of the beach by the water to sit down with him. Negan got settled in behind her, pulling her to sit between his legs while they sat on the beach together. His left arm hooked around her waist loosely while she rest back against his chest and he handed her one of the sweet treats. “You know I love you, right?”

“I don’t know, I’m kind of only getting used to you just saying this now,” she stated with a smirk and looked over her shoulder to see Negan taking a big bite of his food. “But I like hearing it.”

“And I like saying it,” Negan insisted with a mouthful seeing her smirk. “I feel like I should explain Emma.”

“Only if you want to,” Y/N shrugged. “It’s really none of my business unless you want it to be.”

“You’re really just going to be like that?” Negan retorted with a sense of confusion. A lot of women would want every single detail, but she didn’t seem to mind at all. “She was the first girl I ever slept with.”

“Oh, okay…” she shrugged and took a small bite of her churro. “That was a really long time ago I imagine.”

“Ouch?” Negan chuckled seeing her cheeks blush over with embarrassment. “I was never really interested in her. I loved Lucille and…”

“She’s one of the ones you cheated with?” Y/N confirmed and Negan nodded when she spoke up. “I kind of assumed that. When you are the mistress and the guy still loves the woman he’s cheating on, it probably makes you an angry bitch.”

“I’ve only loved two people and I think that killed her on the inside. It’s probably partially my fault that she’s a bitch,” Negan shook his head, a heavy sigh falling from his lips. “When I was with Lucille she got into her head and…”

“Tried doing to me today what she did to Lucille back then?” Y/N finished again and Negan nodded. “Don’t worry about it. I’m not going to listen to people try to tell me about the man I know. I’m just going to listen to him myself. He’s honest with me and I know that.”

“I love you,” Negan was amazed with the way she was reacting toward everything as he tipped down to nestle his nose against the side of her neck. “You really are amazing. I hope you know that.”

“I can’t believe we’ve been here all weekend and we haven’t had sex here once,” Negan slurred against the side of Y/N’s neck as they stood on the beach together after going swimming in the water. She laughed as his stubble teased over the side of her neck. Negan wrapped his arms around her waist and felt her leaning back into his wet chest.

“There is still time,” she responded with a laugh when she felt him pressing playful kisses over the side of her neck. “To be fair, you’ve kept us so busy going around town that I’m pretty exhausted by the time that we get back to the house.”

“I just want you to have a good weekend. One that makes you happy,” Negan stated with a sigh, squeezing his arms around her tighter. Y/N reached down to grab her phone from the towel and pulled up the camera. When she went to take a photo of the water, Negan reached for her phone and grabbed a hold of the phone. He turned it on the selfie section and kissed over her temple taking a photo of the two of them. “We need more photos together.”

“Are you sure about that?” she confirmed and Negan nodded. “I thought you want us to be careful.”

“Are you thinking of sharing these?” Negan questioned and she shook her head slowly. “Then we are fine.”

Negan pressed in closer to her and kissed her while he snapped another selfie of the two of them together. Her cheeks blushed over when he looked at the photos and his nose wrinkled when he looked them over, “you’re going to have to send these two to me though.”

“Deal,” she winked, releasing him long enough to look to her phone again.

“You want to go four wheeling again? That was pretty fun, right?” Negan thought about the things they had done the previous day. When he looked over his shoulder to see her looking panicked, he stepped in closer and rubbed his towel through his hair. “What’s wrong?”

“My father sent me a text message. Apparently he knows that I’m not at my friend’s house that I told my mother about,” she informed him with a nervous breath and Negan’s eyebrow arched up in interest. “He wants me to call him and tell him where I really am.”

“Fuck that,” Negan reached for her phone and looked through the text messages seeing the several messages that her father had sent clearly getting angrier each time he had texted her. “They never care where you are on most nights, so what does it matter this time?”

“I should write him back Negan. Come up with a good excuse as to where I really am,” she gulped and Negan shook his head turning her cell phone off after sending himself the photos of them together. “He’s pissed. Something is wrong.”

“You’re on vacation with me. You don’t have to worry about that right now, okay?” Negan insisted, stepping forward to urge her chin up toward him. “I want to take you somewhere. Erase this from your mind and I promise everything will be all right.”

“This was my favorite place to come and relax as a kid,” Negan pulled on Y/N’s hand, tugging her up toward the lighthouse that was right off the beach. She looked up at the lighthouse and saw him smiling brightly as he looked up at it. “My favorite thing was to come here as a kid at night and think things out. Think about my future and all that fucking shit.”

“Yeah?” she arched her brow in response, taking a moment to look around the area. From what she knew of Negan it didn’t really seem like a place he would have loved as a kid, but it sure was beautiful. The lighthouse looked like something you would have seen from a movie, it was that gorgeous. “It’s beautiful.”

“It is,” Negan agreed and looked over his shoulder to wink at her. Negan motioned her to wait as he set up a blanket in the sand. The sun was setting and he urged her to lay down with him. “Later I can try to sneak us in so you can see the inside…”

“And get you in trouble? I don’t think so. The people here would love the story about how Negan got caught breaking into the lighthouse with his new, young girlfriend,” she snickered seeing him roll his eyes before leaning forward to press a soft kiss over her jawline. His kisses led toward her neck and she tilted her head up allowing him space to do as he pleased. “I take it you were quite the rebel growing up?”

“I’m still quite the rebel,” Negan insisted with a shrug of his shoulders, pulling away to look her over with his wicked glance. “I thought you would know that by now.”

Negan reached for his phone and took a photo of them with the lighthouse in the background of the photo. Negan leaned in to kiss her over and over again before she pulled away from him with a deep breath.

“Negan,” she looked to see that he was recording a video and he shrugged his shoulders. “Are you trying to be playing dangerously right now or…?”

“I just want something for the spank bank eventually when I’m alone,” Negan teased with a wink making her cough upon his admission. Her cheeks blushed over and Negan loved that he could make her turn red just with his words. She was so innocent and he loved every bit of it. Negan playfully teased his tongue over the front of her lips while he was still recording the video and he watched her shudder before he pressed stop. “You’re still tense, aren’t you?”

“I’m scared about my father,” she answered truthfully and felt him reach out to nudge her jaw with his rough fingertips. He carefully brushed her hair over her shoulder before moving in to kiss over the side of her neck again. “He knows I lied…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Negan insisted with a slur while he kissed over her neck and bit at her skin.

Her eyes closed feeling Negan’s tongue tracing lines over her flesh and she inhaled sharply. She wanted to just forget it, but she didn’t think she could. The consequences of this weekend truly had her in fear of what he father might do. “If they were looking for me that means that it was something serious.”

“It’s fine,” Negan hushed her, trying to get her to relax as he sat up straighter and held his finger up. “Close your eyes.”

“Why?” she retorted with a confused look. Negan snapped his fingers almost in an order and she felt him nudging her into a position that he clearly wanted. A moment later there was a cool sensation pressing in over her neck as she heard the clip of something closing. “Negan?”

“You can open your eyes,” Negan responded, pressing soft kisses over her neck again. When she saw that it was the necklace from the night before he heard her gasp. “I know you didn’t want me to get it for you, but I just…had to. It looks beautiful on you and I knew you really thought it was beautiful.”

“When did you…?” she looked down at the necklace seeing the way it glimmered as the sunset shined from it. “Negan, I can’t accept this.”

“I can’t return it,” Negan shrugged his shoulders with a wicked smirk. “It’s yours now.”

“Negan…” he watched her frown and she reached down to trace her fingertips over the white gold chain that led to the charm at the bottom. Her fingertips grazed over the diamond and she felt her heart pounding inside of her chest. “You shouldn’t have done this.”

“I wanted to pamper my girl,” Negan responded with a shake of his head. “That’s why I left the other day. I ran back to quickly go get it. I know you are paranoid about me spending money on you, but I love you. You liked the necklace; I bought it for you to show you how much I love you. It will be our special thing.”

Negan reached out with his rough fingertips to grasp a hold of the diamond to look it over. A smirk pressed in over his lips and he shrugged his shoulders.

“I just want you happy,” Negan whispered, moving forward to press another kiss over her lips and he felt her arms wrapping around his shoulders to hold onto him tightly.

“You…make me happy,” she whispered in his ear, pressing a quick kiss over his flesh before pulling away to look down at the necklace again. Her eyes were tearing over and he reached out to brush at her cheek lovingly. “I don’t want you to think this is the kind of person I am.”

“I think you are a wonderful person,” Negan shook his head and frowned when a single tear slid down her face. “That’s why I fell in love with you Y/N. Shit…I’ve fallen hard.”

“You’re making me swoon here Negan,” she informed him with a half laugh, reaching up to brush her fingertips throughout his thick hair. “You are amazing.”

“I was thinking…” Negan began with a long sigh, reaching up to grab a hold of her fingertips in his. He brought her hand to his lips and pressed a soft kiss over the back of her hand. “I know you are worried about your father. You are a lot. Why don’t you just move in with me?”

“I couldn’t do that Negan,” she shook her head firmly, a small laugh falling from her throat. “How are we going to hide that from people?”

“Very carefully,” Negan shrugged, attempting to think of something to say to make her feel comfortable with the suggestion. “I don’t care. I want to be with you. I want to keep you safe. I just want to make you happy.”

“I know and I love you,” she hushed him with a shake of her head. “I just can’t have you getting in trouble because of me.”

“Then let me buy you a place until you get a job. An apartment or something…” Negan reasoned with Y/N and she reached out to cup his rough face in her hands. His eyes seemed confused and upset as she shook her head. “Please. I want to keep you safe.”

“After you told me about the money Negan, I’m not going to accept these things. I want to be with you. I do, but I’m not a gold digger,” she insisted firmly. Moving in, she kissed Negan in a loving manner. “The necklace is enough to make me uncomfortable.”

“But it shows you are mine,” Negan reached down to trace his fingertips over the white gold necklace.

“I was yours long before this was on my neck,” she reminded him and a smirk pressed in over his features. Her fingertips brushed into his short beard and she leaned in to rest her forehead against his. “I didn’t need a necklace or something fancy to tell me that.”

“I want to protect you,” Negan sighed heavily, his warm breath pressing in against her face. “You are so scared and I don’t want something bad to happen to you. We can take measures to keep both of us safe. No one would know you are living with me.”

“If it ever gets to the point I think it has to be that way…then we can talk about it,” she suggested and Negan frowned, sighing heavily as he stared out at her with his sincere hazel eyes. She moved in to kiss him over and over again as he clutched tightly to her. “I love you Negan. More than you will ever know.”

“I love you too,” Negan stated against her skin, nipping softly at her bottom lip as they kissed. “So much.”

Negan stretched out on his leather couch at home as he scrolled through the photos he had taken over the weekend with Y/N on their trip. They had finished their trip and driven back on Sunday. They had gotten so many great photos while they were there and shared so many wonderful experiences. Their whole time away they had spent time doing things together and not once did they end up sleeping together. That wasn’t how most of his relationships had gone in the past and it was nice to have something different for once. Being able to share memorable moments together was something that he actually enjoyed and looking at the photos he’d taken of them together actually made him feel a sense of happiness.

The sound of his doorbell ringing was heard and Negan closed up his phone. Looking to the time, he could see that it was late at night. It had been a few hours since Y/N had headed home. When she had left, she was worried about her parents, but knew that she had to return to find out what was wrong. Moving to the door, Negan first noticed the bags at his feet in front of him and lifted his head to let out a gasp when he saw Y/N standing before him.

“Jesus Christ,” Negan blurt out reaching out to grasp at her face and he heard her wince upon contact. Negan pushed the hood that was covering her head down and took a look at her face. It was clear that she had been crying. There were small wounds over her eyebrow, under her eye and bottom lip. Her face was bright red and he could feel her shaking before him. “What the fuck happened?”

“Just…let me in?” she begged and Negan nodded, grabbing her bags to allow her into the house. Negan urged her toward the couch and he saw her shaking when she took a seat on it. She was still crying and Negan could feel his own body trembling with the sight of her. “I’m so sorry…”

“What happened?” Negan demanded to know hearing the shaking in her voice. She was trembling against his touch as he tried caressing over her face. “Baby?”

“I went home and my father cornered me. While we were gone they had apparently had gotten a call from my doctor who wanted to make sure I wasn’t having any bad side effects from my birth control pills,” she informed Negan and felt his body tensing up. Negan’s eyes grew wide as she nodded and nervously licked her lips. “Which apparently made them go upstairs to look through my things and he found some of the condoms that I had. They called my friend’s house that I was supposed to be at and found out that I wasn’t there and he’s been fuming all weekend.”

“That fucker did this to you?” Negan snarled seeing her nod slowly and he reached out to brush some of the blood that was dripping down her face away. “I’m going to fucking kill him.”

She motioned Negan to wait and he saw her moving for the sweatshirt. She shook as she carefully pulled the material from her body and Negan could see that she was reaching for the back of her shirt. His heart pounded inside of his chest watching her pull up the back of her shirt to show that she had belt marks all up and down her back.

“He called me a whore and locked me in my room,” she told him about what happened and he could hear her start to cry harder. “That’s not the worst thing…”

“It gets worse?” Negan felt every muscle in his body locking up and he watched her reach inside the pocket of the hoodie to pull out the necklace he had gotten her. It was clear that the clasp was broken and he reached out to grasp her hands in his.

“He ripped this from my neck. Apparently he knows that it came from the person I was sleeping with,” she trembled before him and he could hear her sobbing by this point. “I’m so sorry Negan. I didn’t mean for this.”

“We can get the necklace fixed sweetheart, it’s okay…” Negan hushed her, holding her in his arms as he heard her sobbing. Negan pushed the necklace he had bought her into the pocket in his pajamas before continuing to comfort her.

“I snuck out the window… I can’t go back….” She insisted with a whimper and Negan slid his hand in over the back of her neck. Pulling her close in a supportive manner, Negan let out a stressed sound. Negan tried comforting her to the best of his ability. He hushed softly when he heard her continue to cry and stroked her hair in soothing way. More than anything he wanted to go and attack her father for hurting her. It broke him to see Y/N hurt and he absolutely hated it. “I’m so sorry Negan.”

“It’s okay,” Negan promised with a hush, pressing a tender kiss against her temple. “You never have to go back there again, I promise.”

Y/N trembled in his arms and he felt her cuddling her head into his chest as she cried. Negan felt the adrenaline rising inside of his chest. The way his heart was hammering caused Negan to inhale sharply. There was a strong sense of rage filling his veins and Negan knew that he couldn’t take it anymore.

“You stay here…I’m gonna kill that son of a bitch,” Negan pulled away from Y/N, giving her a quick look before heading toward the front of the house. Searching through one of the closets, Negan found his baseball bat and grabbed a tight hold of it. Negan went to go for the front door until he felt her grasp desperately at his shoulder. “It’s fine…”

“It’s not,” she shook her head repetitively. “I left after they locked me in my room. I grabbed as much as I could and took off crawling out the window and climbing down. I don’t even know if he knows I’m gone yet. I can’t have you go there and get in trouble. You are all I have. If you get in trouble for hurting him…”

“He can’t do this. This is wrong. You should never hit a woman like this and you should never, ever treat your child like this,” Negan grunted with an angered sound. His body was shaking and he knew that he wanted to tear her father limb from limb. “He’s a piece of shit and this is what he deserves.”

“It is, but I love you. I love you and I can’t have anything happen to you,” she pleaded desperately and he felt her grabbing a tight hold of his wrist to stop him from leaving. Negan frowned and sighed before setting the bat down. “If I lost you, I don’t know what I would do.”

“You’re not going to lose me, but he needs to be taught a lesson,” Negan insisted with a hiss and she nodded. Negan stepped forward to cup her face in his large hands and moved forward to kiss her. “We need to call someone. Tell them what he did because this is wrong.”

“No, we can’t,” she denied the offer and Negan was confused because this abuse was completely wrong. “If we go to someone and tell them what happened they are going to question why I came to you. Why it was you that I picked to go to after he beat the hell out of me. I don’t want you in trouble. I can’t have you losing your job because of me.”

“Something has to be done,” Negan demanded and he could feel her shaking in his arms. “Something…”

“Please Negan. I’m never going back there…I just…have to figure out what to do,” she stuttered, thinking of something to say. “I can’t tell people about this. I don’t want to be seen as broken. I don’t want people to know about…us. I can’t…”

“Relax,” Negan interrupted her with the shake of his head. “I love you, okay? So I’m going to do what you want of me. But fuck…if I see your father again, I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I wanna fucking kill him.”

“I don’t even know what I would do if I saw him again,” she agreed and Negan reached out to grab a tight hold of her hand. He led her toward the kitchen and picked her up to place her on the island in the middle of his kitchen. Her soft cries filled the air and he wanted to kill her father for what he had done, but he was trying to do what she begged of him as he gathered some ice in a cloth and moved over toward her. He motioned her to hold it to her by her eye where the most swelling was. Quickly moving to the bathroom, he grabbed things to clean her wounds and moved swiftly to get back to her in the kitchen. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. I can’t go back there.”

“You’re going to live here,” Negan hushed her, his eyes staring into hers with a serious expression while he started to clean the gash on her lip. “I’ve been trying to get you to move in with me for a while now. You think I’m going to change my mind when you need me the most?”

“What about school?” she stammered and he shrugged his shoulders. “I can’t do this to you.”

“We’ll figure it all out,” Negan silenced her with the shake of his head. “Trust me. I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you. You are not going back to that house. You are going to stay here where I can protect you. Nothing like this is ever going to happen to you again, I swear.”

Negan heard her start to cry again and he reached out to pull her in closer to him so he could comfort her. He held her close in his arms trying to do his best to comfort her, but there was still part of him that felt responsible for this. He told her to avoid her father while they were on the trip and the only reason that she had condoms in the first place was because of him.

“I’m sorry I let this happen. I told you I would protect you and I couldn’t,” Negan grumbled with a heavy sigh, his lips pressing a lingering kiss against her temple. “This is all my fault.”

“No, no it’s not,” she denied his words and turned to touch the side of his face with her palm. “Imagine everything I would have gone through if you weren’t in my life.”

“But this…this is my fault,” Negan looked her over and he felt his body trembling with anger while he stared out at her. “I’m so fucking sorry and I promise I will never let this happen to you again sweetheart.”

“You have no control over my father,” she insisted seeing the sadness that was filtering over Negan’s face and she slowly lowered from the counter of the island to step forward. Her arms wrapped around him and he embraced her lovingly. “You are the best thing in my life Negan and I would be absolutely lost without you.”

#Negan #negan x reader #negans-network #negans thirst squad #Jeffrey Dean Morgan #twd fanfiction #The Walking Dead #the walking dead fanfic #my writing #the walking dead fanfiction #negan fanfiction

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nightmaretyrantvantas · 6 years ago

Text

I am not my insecurities reflection- a truthful based oneshot

IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE PLEASE READ

Ok, this will be a long author’s note but please bare with me as this is very important for you to understand this oneshot. For some context here because I havent posted alot about her yet, this is a oneshot about my Dc oc Gracie Lucio, set kinda in the same universe(i guess) of the teen titans judas contract movie( with Damian as robin) and its a oneshot written partly out of a vent of my own body image issues and partly out of an expression of how I’ve learned to look past said issues slowly.

But this gets very angsty until the end

Now to give a bit more context for the piece itself. The oc herself, Gracie Lucio( because I havent posted any art of her yet) for the reader’s understanding, she is not human, she is a werewolf(it feeds into her story so dont get me started on it alot of research went into this aspect of her character and it plays into her body issues)and body wise looks similar to Dick in the first season of Young Justice. Shes a naturally thin figured , broader shouldered girl who could( if she really wanted to) pass as a feminine boy with short jaw/ barely chin length hair( think of a thick messy longish pixie cut of dark hair). So shes naturally lean and lanky and a little underdeveloped for a 13 year old girl and as a heroine she has toned muscles from years of hero work. Most wouldnt see her having too many insecurities about her body image and appearance, but in truth shes riddled with them. She ages a bit differently than humans, it takes her body longer to develop and even then in some areas it develops differently all together. She struggles to gain any extra weight or build up natural feminine curves, something she wants. She WANTS to look like other girls her age, with more developed and heavier bodies, with curves and more weight and an actual figure. But with a supernaturally high metabolism added on top of a already genetic based thin figure and a intense and sometimes rigorous training and workout routine plus her work as a heroine gives no leeway to gain really any extra weight, its always worked off one way or another. And this causes...comments to be made about why she looks that way by civilians. and though she never shows it publicly she takes many of these, usually not flattering and sometimes cruel and rude, comments to heart(much like I used to unfortunately) and it worsens her negative feelings. This is a small story of her seeing those problems and issues and trying to face and overcome them. This is more centered around Gracie and Dick and Jason and their platonic and sibling like relationship as they help her through her darker times( again, this is partly me expressing my own personal struggles with body image (which arent the exact same as the character but the language and the comments are very similar)and partly how those two helped inspire me to have more confidence in my body no matter what I look like) and also a deeper peek into her complex relationship with Damian(but thats not the biggest focus) Sorry this was so long I mightve info-dumped a little but its important to understand the story. I hope you guys enjoy?

This is also told in Gracie’s point of view

This will cover some pretty deep kinda issues like body image problems and over eating and weight loss/gain and mentions of eating disorders without really discussing them and bullying so if that upsets you in any way now is the best time to scroll past for your own sake, I dont want you to upset yourself over my crappy emotional writing

I do not look that bad.

That’s what I have to force my mind to accept as I look into the mirror, meeting my own aqua green eyes hesitantly.

I always hated looking in the mirror lately, especially after training or after bathing, like now as I stood in the middle of my room in a slightly loose training type sports bra and spandex shorts. I don’t even want to glance down at my body, out of fear for seeing the same thing I always do.

‘She so skinny...is she eating right’

‘She needs to eat more and gain some weight’

‘what a twig for a superhero’

‘how have bad guys not snapped her in half? Jesus Christ I could probably break her with a sneeze!’

‘What a bad influence shes setting for young girls with such an thin figure!’

‘I think He needs to eat more Christ that poor boy must be starving! Why isn’t Nightwing feeding him more’

The flashes of comments flooded my mind the moment my eyes flickered down to the rest of me. To my thin, unfeminine figure. My underdeveloped and flat birdcage of a chest. To my lanky, toned, too flat stomach. The pinched waist figure. The flat empty expanse I called hips that blended too well into my too dainty looking bony legs. I looked too fucking skinny. And maybe they were right...as a hero I was a role model to those younger than me, and I promoted a Bad Body Image for girls to idolize with my lanky boy figure.

And it was a horrible body type I had no goddamn control over.

My species was not an easy one to live as, especially not intermingled with humans. The team knew, the team understood, but the rest of the world didn’t. As a lupinotuum pectinem, or lycanthrope which in easy translation is simply “Werewolf”, my whole body inner workings were different. Most of my kind were naturally lean and thin, like tall healthily thin model athlete body types and in general the females, even alpha females, were practically born twig like almost. And on top of that our bodies developed....differently. I was not raised by a pack or by my own kind after age 8, so even I didn’t know the full extent but females bodies took longer to grow and it made it very hard for them to gain weight because of the unnaturally high metabolism. Add being a superhero who once trained under a certain league member to the mix and you go from being the “healthy and admirable” type of skinny to the “unhealthy and concerning”type of skinny.

I hated it, and I hated my body. I hated pictures of me from the neck down, because they all looked the same no matter who they were with. And I saw the comments everyone made. Whether its a surprise photo Garfield took dragging me into the picture to commemorate something or another or me taking pictures around Gotham or Blüdhaven with Dick on the social media Gar helped me set up, or even the rare photos I’d get to take with Jason or Damian or Tim and get to post. Every time the flood of comments were the same. The same things I now repeated over and over as I looked over my body angrily.

OMG look at that poor girl is she ok??? She looks like she needs to be hospitalized!

Christ almighty BB isn’t it too early to be posing with skeletons?? LOL

Dude not funny that girl must be anorexic or something.

Such a cute sibling couple but sweetie you need a fast food break to add some fat to those bones!

Fuck kid go eat something instead of taking pictures

Awwww you two look real happy! I hope you’re on the way to lunch or something!

Holy shit your guy’s size difference is so vast its almost worrying

how are you even alive with that little weight

Go eat some junk food or something before you pass out

OMG look at her shes so small and stick like! Her clothes look like they’re hanging off a scarecrow!

That girl cannot be healthy tell me someone is making her eat more

Every time its always the same damn thing....

I couldn’t do it anymore. I turned away from the mirror nearly in disgust and went back to changing into more casual clothes, bitterly noting how my clothes did in fact seem to hang awkwardly on my body as if I was too thin for them to fit correctly. Like they always did lately.

Ew look at her she looks so gross all stick-like like that!

What a fucking twig of a girl! Are those her ribs poking through her shirt??

Bitch go eat a fucking hamburger you need some damn food in you.

God that weight cant be healthy you need a doctor!!

“Kid? Yo kid you in there?” My head jerked up from the comments flooded screen of my phone to meet Jason’s eyes, catching the quirk of his eyebrow as he sat across the diner table from me. We were at a diner he favored whenever he came into town to visit, a little family owned treasure with delicious and greasy food and the sweetest staff on earth. We frequented the spot during his visits, our own personal little thing since we’d gotten closer. I plastered on a smile and ignored the slight narrow of those blue eyes, the small furrow of his brow got as I snapped off my phone and set it aside.

“Sorry Jay, BB tagged me in something dorky and I got distracted. So what were you saying?”

He didn’t believe me, and I didn’t blame him. I wasn’t the most convincing at that moment but I kept that damn plastic smile on my face and snagged some of his curly fries right in his face, making him crack a smile and smack my hand away from his tray.

“ Hands off my food, eat your own wolfie.” I rolled my eyes at the stupid nickname I’d been branded and let the plastic smile slowly be replaced by a more genuine one as we began chatting again, grabbing my over sized cheeseburger and finishing every last bite and moving onto the large fries and two milkshakes, hopelessly praying that maybe this time the calories would stick and trying to push away the comments to the back of my mind. I was with Jason and we were having a damn good time, and I wasn’t going to let those comments ruin his visit...not again.

You should be ashamed. All you’re doing is promoting bad eating habits looking like that.

You’re such a bad influence for young girls who idolize you with such a horribly unreachable appearance.

Shes too bony to ever be considered pretty

Does she have a eating disorder or something?

I stiffened instantly startled by a hand on my shoulder, turning off my phone instinctively and making the endless comments disappear into darkness before whoever could see them over my shoulder. The hand was big, calloused, and gentle and I felt myself relax as I looked up behind me with a smile.

“ Hey Dick, did you need something?” He smiled down at me with that big bright smile that made all the dark thoughts and feelings melt away and gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze, blue eyes meeting aqua green.

“ Well I was wondering if you’re doin’ anything right now or if you’d want to go catch dinner with Kori, Dami, and I. I noticed that you’d skipped your usual early dinner....” I wasn’t surprised he noticed, he normally did...

Once again that smile plastered itself on my face as I told him I’d love to, and to just let me go get changed into something better. I saw his hesitation at the fake smile, practically smelled it on him and prayed he wouldn’t bring it up right now, god please don’t ask now or I might just break...

Maybe god is listening because he didn’t mention it and just told me to meet them by the front doors of the tower in ten.

How are you not dead yet?

Jesus Christ stop promoting your eating disorder like its a good thing!

She looks so sickly is she ok? :(

Yeah shes sick, sick in the damn head for posting such disgusting pro-Ana pictures

How can you post pictures with a clear conscience looking like that?

Some “superhero”

I was wrong, no god was listening to me.

Dinner was rough to get through, even if it didn’t start that way.

For once I didn’t have to worry or dread possibly checking my phone for anything, I turned it off by the time we got to the restaurant. I even got a small compliment from Damian on our way in, though it was more a snark at me not tripping up the stairs. But it was Damian so I snapped right back with a smile, knowing he didn’t really mean it. Sitting beside Dick and across from Damian, I nudged his foot with mine in a silent gesture to cheer up even a little. He huffed through his nose but I saw his body relax and it made me relax. Those moments before the food came, our chatter and soft laughter as we looked over the menu, and the soothing knowledge knowing that Dick pulled me and Damian along to this dinner so we would go out on a date ourselves, ever the best brother and wingman. The mood was light and pleasant and I could see even the ever sharp and moody Dami lighten up a little by the time we ordered. Maybe the mood shifted into something different as we waited for our food and I was sipping on my tall glass of iced cola, when Damian’s fingers casually brushed over the top of my unused hand that laid peacefully on the table. The gesture was subtle and light, quick enough to miss if your senses weren’t sharp. I didn’t acknowledge it and neither did he, a silent understanding that words would just ruin whatever this was. I accepted that happily, as he was much more engaged in the conversations and even smiling a little more during them as he debated with Kori on leading strategies. Things were pleasant, comforting at that table in those few seconds before the decline, Dick smiling and chuckling at his lover and little brother, Said lover and brother having a more upbeat discussion about different leadership styles and their effects, and lightly debating which work better for what. And Damian’s hand next to mine, ever so lightly brushing against it in his wordless way to say I was still there and at even the smallest twitch I’d have his attention again. Dick ruffled my hair and asked how my online courses were coming along, since I didn’t attend schools publicly and I was more than happy to babble about my classes, and my current work in them. It was nice and I was happy, all the horrible feelings from before draining away as I tuned everything else but these three out of my enhanced hearing. Why had I even felt so shitty when I had great people like them in my life?

Then I heard it as that damned supernatural hearing tuned back in to the rest of the world.

The words and whispers and mutters and the blatant gossip and bad mouthing.

“Look at that younger girl sitting at that table dear...shes so thin I think she should be in a hospital not a restaurant.”

“Ewww mom look that girl looks like a skeleton!”

“ Honey shush….”

“Is….is that girl ok?”

“Dude of course she isn’t just look at her shes unhealthy as fuck. Probably has some kind of eating disorder too or something.”

It all flooded over me and all of my happy mood washed away under the wave. I couldn’t tell if the others could hear them so I grit my teeth tried to tune it all back out, trying so hard to focus more on Kori’s explanation of her points. My hands began to curl up subconsciously, making Damian’s attention snap to me. Fuckin I….no, I cant tell him...I shouldn’t. I forced my hand to uncurl and that stupid smile sprawled across my lips as if someone had put tape over them. I saw his eyes narrow and near begged mentally for him to not say anything or for Dick to distract him...anything.

“Ahem….your meal.”

I have never more thankful to a waitress before in my life...until I saw the look she gave me as she placed my admittedly large order of food in front of me, something that was normally a platter for two people’s worth of beef and sides. I caught the judgmental and suspicious look she had glancing between me and my food and I felt shame burn all over, starting to hang my head to avoid that damn look.

“ If this is all our food then your job is done. Don’t you have OTHER tables to be serving?” Damian’s curt and sharp tone cut through the air and briefly through my shame. This waitress knew nothing about me and i certainly owned no one any explanations about my eating habits, so why was she hanging around giving me looks about my food…?

“ Damian don’t be so rude!” Dick cleared his throat and I felt his strong arm wrap protectively around my shoulder as he leaned close to the edge of the table while Kori’andr apologized for Damian’s attitude vaguely. But I could hear it, there wasn’t much life to her apology. It sounded like a politely required apology, almost...defensive?

“ I am so sorry about my little brother Miss. He’s also sorry. But do you need anything else since we seem to be all set here but you’re still hanging around when you must be very busy…?” Dick’s words were sweet and cheerful, but there was an edge to his tone that gave a clear warning. His arm around me tightened a little protectively as he gave one of his signature charming smiles that could light up half the damn city as he then inquired if there was some sort of problem. The waitress stammered that there wasn’t any problem and that it was fine and for us to enjoy our meal before scampering away to continue her work. I felt other patrons eyes most DEFINITELY on us now and I couldn’t help shrinking into the taller man’s side to hide.

“ I’m sorry this keeps happening…” I murmured to him as our respective dates started eating and slowly reviving their conversation, moving on to mission recounts and training while Damian shot a dark look at the other patrons that made them look away. Dick gave my shoulder a squeeze and i moved closer for that familiar warmth and comfort...my chest felt heavy and my appetite had died and I wanted to curl up in my room and die of the shame. But I couldn’t, he wouldn’t have let me. So instead I instinctively sought out the safety Dick’s presence brought me, like a protective older sibling whose arms I could be enveloped in and forget about the harsh world outside them.

He knew without words, catching my body language before anyone else at the table. He knew me best.

“ Do you want to leave? We can get to go boxes and enjoy this meal all the same back at the tower, or even mine and Kori’s apartment. Is that what you’d rather do?” It was tempting, oh god it was so tempting to just say yes and let him lead me away while I re-gathered myself, same way he did when we were both 13 and living under the same roof...before…

I shook my head and forced those thoughts to the very back of my mind. I was in a dark enough place of mind already without that.

“ N-no...you guys set this up...i...i don’t want one nosy waitress to ruin our whole meal. Lets just eat ok D?” He smiled at the nickname and ruffled my hair with a nod, both him and Kori making sure I knew if things got too uncomfortable we could leave and the heaviness eased a little at their consideration. I started picking at my food and slowly regaining my appetite, once again nudging Damian with my foot to start up conversations. I ignored the words for the majority of the dinner, we even began to enjoy ourselves again. The last straw was probably as we were paying and putting leftovers in to go bins. I was admittedly nibbling on food out of my bin, despite starting to feel full.

“ I swear you are a bottomless pit sometimes Gracia.” I rolled my eyes at Damian’s remark and gave him a small smirk as I licked my fingers clean.

“ This bottomless pit can still kick your ass in training wonder boy~” He grunted and I saw the challenge glow in his eyes as he smirked back, an excitement for tomorrow’s combat training flaring up between us.

“ You really shouldn’t mix up your delusional dreams with reality alpha PUP.” I said something snarky back and we began to bicker halfheartedly over who was winning. I finally snapped shut my leftover box and stood with Damian as we stared each other down confidently, Dick chuckling at our competitiveness.

“ Tomorrow morning’s combat training will certainly be interesting with these two all riled up already.” The words didn’t fully process as I cracked my knuckles and squared up to the admittedly….taller boy.

“ Last I checked Damian I was ahead 11-10. And tomorrow, I just cant wait to make it 12.” He gave a hard laugh to my face and faced up to me with a smirk as our other two companions stood and shooed us more in front of the table so they could leave their seats. He opened his mouth to say something likely scalding and snarky back at me when the worst comment pierced between us both like a goddamn bullet.

“ Damn, I never knew such a sickly, too skinny bitch like her could eat like such a fat fucking pig.”

I think I stopped breathing as my body flinched at the following laughter. The man was clearly on the tipsy side and sitting at a larger table with a group of laughing friends, though the one who said it was standing next to the table with a drink that reeked of the cheapest alcohol this restaurant probably sold, and he didn’t stop there. Oh god of course he didn’t stop there. He kept laughing and loudly making obvious comments at me and openly mocking me and how much I ate to his table, either fully aware of what he was doing and that we could clearly see and hear him or too drunk to really care as more insults and name calling that I had heard and seen and read plenty of times before fell from his mouth. My heart was pounding in my ears as the next few moments happened slowly.

I thought I had seen anger plenty of times before, the worse being the one and only time someone made a malicious joke about my appearance to my face when I was walking beside Jason and it took all my supernatural strength to drag him off and away the guy before he murdered him in broad daylight and to keep him walking to wherever we had been heading.

I had seen pissed, but I had never seen downright hellish fury until that moment when I looked at Damian and Dick.

I had seen Damian mad, and angry, and pissed, a few times in our first meetings at me personally. I had seen Dick mad, angry, and pissed off a a fair chunk of times, even if they had never been directly at me. I had never seen this expression on either of them in those times. And in those few moments that passed almost in slow motion and Damian began to lurch forward with murderous intent the thought finally hit me. ‘ Was this...the first time these two had really heard the comments about me? Oh god…’ I felt like I was moving in honey as Damian stalked past me and I tried to reach out to him slowly, a gleam to his eyes that made my blood go cold.

If someone was to ask me in the future what I believed Death looked like, I would say with completely conviction that death would have the exact eyes Damian had in that moment: lethal, merciless, and furious. And he would have Dick’s cold expression, a look I never wanted to see on the normal cheerful man’s face ever again.

Time snapped back to a normal speed like a whip and my hand grasped nothing but air as Damian stormed over to the man.

“D...da--”

“What did you just say you disgusting drunk.” I might’ve shivered at his tone and I felt Kori’s hands on my shoulders tugging me back protectively as she looked down at me worried.

“ Gracie...don’t listen to him, there’s no reason to cry.” Cry? What was she talking ab--

That’s when I felt it, something warm and wet sliding down my cheeks and dripping off my chin. I...I was crying. My walls and my limit of bottling things in for one day was crumbling away as I watched Damian go to confront the man, my voice disappearing under the surge of hurt and anxiety. I couldn’t even say his damn name. I felt frozen and helpless as Dick stalked after Damian, fists clenched.

I had to do something say something anything to stop them before things went badly I had to I had--

“Eh?What the fuck did you say to me brat?”

“ You heard me you worthless piece of filth. Apologize to her, now.”

I needed to do something anything as I felt myself crumbling. Why wasn’t Dick stopping him why

“ And what if I don’t pipsqueak? You gonna hit me? Now scram. Maybe take your little bitch to a hospital for treatment instead of parading her around a restaurant with normal people!”

“ He might not do anything, But I will. Now take it back before things get messy.”I think my body began trembling as I watched panic swelling. I just wanted to leave and go home. I didn’t want to see this unfold, I just wanted to be home at the tower curled under my covers to simulate the warmth of another person holding me. I wanted to be anywhere, anywhere else then stuck in this nightmare.

So I moved without thinking and lunged, aiming for the back of Dick’s jacket to grab and ready to swallow any shards of pride and beg to leave. Instead I collided with Damian’s back and rolled with it, hugging him tightly from behind and tugging back with a whimper.

“ P-please you two...l...lets just leave...please lets just go home please…” Kori grabbed Dick’s arm firmly and tugged him back.

“ Dick...shes in the midst of an anxiety attack, let it go and lets leave. We need to get her out of here.” He took a difficult deep breath but nodded glaring down the man harshly enough that he flinched and scurried to the bar with his tail between his legs mumbling insults. One of his friends started to stand and began nervously apologizing, though one vicious look from the boy I was holding shut him up fast. It took me and Kori working together to drag the two out of the restaurant and the ride home was tense and silent. I couldn’t look at any of them, instead opting to stare at my feet wiping my eyes.

“ Does that happen often. People talking about you like that.” His cold tone made me flinch a little. At this point I was so upset and anxious and emotionally drained on the inside that I thought Damian was mad at me of all people for what happened. Those dark thoughts began to slowly bubble up to the surface and my insecurities screamed that he blamed me for what happened in the restaurant. I remained silent, too upset to answer. I heard his growl of annoyance and I began to hunch up, ready for a verbal fight.

“ Damian drop it for now. Shes in no right place of mind to talk about it.” Dick warned from the driver seat with a low voice that reminded me he was also upset and angry. When we got back to the tower I didn’t wait for anyone to say anything, I just bolted for my room as fast as I could, at a inhuman, unnatural speed that they couldn’t keep pace with.

I stayed locked in my room for three days, not willing to face any of them the next morning during training. Everything was heavy and hurt and it was hard trying to rebuild those shattered walls of protection, that image of unbothered confidence. I stayed in bed locked away from the world and curled up under the weak protection of my sheets mostly unresponsive to those outside it.

The first to come knocking and checking on me was Kori, asking if I was ok and if I needed to talk. She left after a little while of trying for a response unsuccessfully though, saying she’d come back to check on me later. It was maybe an hour later that Garfield came knocking, asking why I’d missed breakfast AND training. His voice was concerned as he asked if everything was ok and if I was even in there. The concern poked painfully into my silence, tempting me to speak and make myself vulnerable.

Vulnerability killed. I knew that first hand. So I forced myself to stay quiet until his knocks and footsteps faded away.

The rest of the day passed in a bit of a self deprecating blur, only marked by Kori’s two other attempts at my door. The last one I barely noticed as exhaustion kicked back in and I drifted off into an unsteady sleep

The next day after I woke up things still went by in a near timeless blur. I could hear my phone buzzing and vibrating and rattling for my attention but I left it there on the nightstand unnoticed and curled further under the sheets, lost in a slate tinted world of dark thoughts and darker temptations. But that day was harder to drift away through.

The first to stop by was Jamie, knocking a few times and calling out to me with concern and worry clear in his voice as he asked if I was ok. He asked if I’d eaten at all since yesterday, since he hadn’t seen me leave my room. The thought of eating made my stomach stir and my body curl around it ashamed. He knocked a few more times after that, his voice growing a bit more worried at the lack of answer. After awhile I heard him walk away and I barely lifted my head as I hugged my too skinny too unhealthy body close, feeling those blaring imperfections and flinching at myself.

It was no wonder everyone said those things...if so many people said them so often then they must be true.

The next to come by was Raven. She only knocked twice and gave a small sigh.

“ Gracie...I know you’re in there. If you need someone to talk to...my room is in the next hall over, and I will be here to listen. I wont force you to come out...just please remember you aren’t alone here. You have the team behind you.” I bit my lip hard enough to make it bleed to keep my ensuing whimper silent. The words, soothing and reassuring in context, stabbed into my heart and my resolve. I WANTED to depend on them, to throw open the door and break down under the assurance I could and would not be treated differently after, and be assured and comforted and remind of the positives. I wanted it so badly I was scared of it. Or maybe...I was scared of it NOT happening as those damn fears and insecurities and dark thoughts sowed heavy doubt through me. She lingered a little longer than Jaime, eventually her footsteps disappearing. I remember meekly poking my head from the sheets to stare absently out the half covered windows lost in thought, time slipping by me once more to the point I almost didn’t register Garfield and Kori both stopping by my door again at least twice more worried.

When Dick stopped by as the sun was setting was when the harder pain set in.

I heard the knocks and ignored it in favor of the changing color sky the sunset offered, my room washed in a dim orange and amber gleam. Then I heard his voice, soft and sick with worry from the outside and my heart thudded so hard it hurt. Hard.

“ Gracie...C’mon Gracie-girl please open the door. We’re all worried about you...I’m really worried about you. You haven’t eaten for a day and a half...Please let me in...” I almost broke completely at the pain in that familiar voice, the voice I never wanted to be the cause of being in pain or anguish again.

Well looks like I did a GREAT job of preventing that didn’t I?

He knocked again, asking and pleading and trying to reason, anything to get that door to open. My eyes burned with hot fresh tears and I curled up into a tight ball whimpering softly and breaking my vow of silence.

“....D-dick...p-please...j-just leave me a-alone…I-i just need some t-time alone…”

My voice came out pathetically weak and shaking with tears, which I know he heard. There was a silence for a few moments, perhaps shock that I actually answered this time. I felt warmth sliding down my cheeks as he sighed and reluctantly muttered that he’d come check back on me tomorrow and that there was leftover dinner ready for me to heat up on the kitchen counter before he slowly walked away. His fading footsteps echoing in my ears. Was my heart breaking on every step away? I couldn’t tell. That feeling slipped into the dark thoughts that followed the setting sun. Dark thoughts that also reminded me of the one person who HADN’T come to check on me, and the resulting pain of his absence.

The third day had been mostly quiet. It was almost a painful relief, quiet meant no additional pain of--

“ Gracia.”

That one word coming from Damian’s mouth sent so many things through me and sent any resolve I had spiraling away. His tone was a forced kind of neutral, he sounded as if he was trying to stay calm but it wasn’t exactly working. There was something to his voice I had no energy to figure out. He didn’t knock and there was silence for a few moments but I felt his presence remain.

“ You haven’t eaten since the restaurant.” No questions with him, he didn’t need to ask, always calm and analyzing.

“ ...You cant just stay in there forever Gracia.” A stern lilt to his voice, weakly enforced by the faint sound of his hand on the door. I could only whimper and curl up more. There was another stretch of silence before he sighed and his footsteps continued down the hall.

He was the only one to come check on me, a blessing and a damnation.

The day and night went by so listlessly I didn’t remember falling asleep, only waking up to banging knocks on my door. The volume grated on my sensitive hearing and made me flinch. Who would even be knocking like that…?

“ Oi. Kid. I know you’re still in there. Open the door.” Jason’s hard and no shit taking voice shot through me. Why...Why was Jason in the tower? Why was he in the city?

The knocking continued relentlessly, unlike the others. It even got louder and angrier.

“ Kid I said open this goddamn door.” There was no request or plea in his voice. It was a command, a harsh, cold command. I tried covering my ears with my hands and curling into a tight ball as the knocking continued. He wasn’t about to give up to a little girl.

I knew this too well.

“ Graciea Rosica Lucio I swear to god if you don’t open this goddamn door in the next couple second I will break it down. Now get off your fucking ass and answer me.” I don’t know what it was, but hearing his threat sent my body into mechanical motion, trudging over to the door and reluctantly unlocking it and letting it slide open with a low hiss, the banging finally ceasing. I couldn’t look him in the face, empty and ashamed it took threats to get me to open the door. So I stared dully at his boots and took in his scent as he grabbed the front of my shirt and dragged me back inside. I stumbled clumsily along with as he sat me on my bed and stood in front of me. I kept my gaze down towards his knees, the smell of nicotine wisping off his body in a way that told me he very recently had been smoking, no less than an hour ago most likely. Smoke and city is what filled my room. There was only a beat of silence before he spoke.

“ Look at me.” I lifted my head and stared at his chest and his crossed arms, unwilling to look him in the eyes. I couldn’t bare to see what kind of disappointed look he likely had on his face. Perhaps I didn’t want to see my reflection in his eyes, see the sickly, disgusting and bony figured girl with greasy hair and dark circles under dulled eyes and sallow cheeks. I heard the slight growl that rumbled from the back of his throat in warning and I briefly wondered if I would be forced to look him in the eyes. His arms uncrossed and I prepared myself for anything.

Anything except for two big plastic grocery bags filled with fast food bags and orders was dropped onto my lap, the contents still hot. I blinked slowly once, twice, and finally got enough courage in my confusion to look up at his face. When I did I was a little startled.

“ Eat. And you aren’t moving until those bags are polished off understand me?”

He looked visibly angry, eyes narrowed and mouth locked in a fearsome scowl with eyebrows furrowed. But his eyes were soft and worried and it took me a minute to realize worry was what was making his scowl so harsh. He crossed his arms across that broad chest again and I realized he was in his work gear, all the way down to the guns strapped to his thighs. All he lacked at the moment was his helmet and domino mask, his dark hair messier than usual and the white streak falling between his eyes. We had a staring contest and in those pupils I saw myself, I saw the shell I had become and it made me sick, breaking me briefly from the depressive haze.

How the hell had I let myself fall this far, this deep?

We didn’t speak until he grunted, eyes narrowing more in a way even those concerned blues didn’t weaken the glare as he spoke gruffly.

“ You better start eating before I start just shoving it down your damn throat.” I knew he would too. He wasn’t fucking around, I didn’t doubt he’d follow through with any threats made. Slowly I looked down at the pile of food and reached for the first bag, pulling it open and blinking fast as fresh tears stung my eyes.

It was from our favorite diner, and it was my usuals two cheeseburgers and large lightly salted fries with a second order of fat steak fries and fried pork strips. He’d even gotten all the little sides I enjoyed with it and I looked back up at him with a pained look. Maybe that look made him relax because his expression softened slightly, his voice quieting to something gentler.

“ C’mon now...I brought you all your favorites, now start eating...it’s been three days and your body cant handle that. We can talk after.” My shoulders slumped as all the tension stored in my body dissipated a little as he continued to speak, like a tightly pulled strong finally cut loose.

“ Kid I’m not mad at you. No one is. So just eat the food and then we’ll figure shit out, just like we do on any other visit.” I think the tears started falling because his face got blurry and there was warmth in my face. If I did start crying he didn’t say anything, just nodded at the bag. I gulped and slowly but surely pulled out one of the burgers and slowly took a bite, struggling a little to swallow it with a throat that was closing up from emotions. Once I did though my hunger kicked me hard and I began devouring the food, one bag after another.

It took me about a half hour to finish both plastic bags but I did, followed by slamming through at least two water bottles and one thick milkshake that almost made a mess. Jason simply watched over me as I ate from his spot in front of me. The silence was almost soothing, not painful as it had been before. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand as I looked back up at him and we made eye contact.

“ So are you going to tell me what happened? Really happened?” I broke his gaze to stare towards the floor as the acidic shame began to creep back over me. He sighed.

“ C’mon kid just let it out already. Who am I to judge? So why don’t you trust me like you USED to and tell me?” Those words shot through my heart and head.

I...I wasn’t trusting him...trusting anyone...I…i...

It was like Jason opened a flood gate.

It all came spilling out with a new surge of tears and mid sentence cracking sobs, my body physically heaving from the intensity as it all came out. All the months of insecurities and pain and doubts and fears and comments and negativity and hate and bullying came rushing out like a tidal wave and Jason took to all, listening to everything without a single word as I let everything out and let myself break down completely, wails and sobs replacing words eventually. I felt him shift and kneel in front of me, felt big strong sturdy hands grip my shoulders to steady me and keep me anchored as I buried my face into my hands and gasped out cries and pained wailing yowls that filled the room and spilled out of it. I vaguely remember the sounds of multiple hurried footsteps coming towards the door but I didn’t care. All I felt was Jason’s hands on my shoulders and his steady, continuous heartbeat in my ears as well as he strong breathing. One set of footsteps dared to enter the room and hurry over, only stopped by Jason’s calm voice.

“ Let her get it out, its the only thing that’ll help.” The footsteps stopped and eventually the wails faded into blubbering whimpers and whines and hiccups, constantly sniffling. I lifted my head to look at him through blurred eyes and got one brief sight of Dick standing behind Jason that sent me into a whole new wave of sobs.

God I’ve been nothing but selfish and now I’d fucking hurt Dick again even when I swore I’d never do that again and i--

I let out a high pitched whine that turned into pathetic blubbered and wailed apologies. Over and over like a broken record I couldn’t stop apologizing to them for everything even parts that weren’t my fault in any way I still apologized for it I just couldn’t stop. Jason’s grip on me tightened only slightly before slipping away and for a single moment I was terrified I’d annoyed him with all the apologies and was about to add that to my list of them when two strong arms wrapped around me and and Dick’s scent surrounded me.

“ Shh shh shh shhh….shhh Gracie its ok now shh shh its ok I got you its not your fault…” I sniffled and wailed out more sobs and begs for forgiveness as I clung to him like he was a life preserver. And at that moment he was. He hugged me tighter and practically cradled me into his chest stroking my hair as he murmured reassurances, assuring me I was well forgiven and it wasn’t my fault. Everyone got insecurities especially when facing so much negativity. How I was so strong for fighting it for so long regardless. But it was ok to not always be strong and be able to handle it. That he was there and it was ok now. It took awhile but eventually all my noise quieted down to sniffles and hiccups and the occasional whimper as my trembling and heaving finally eased away into a limp tiredness. I felt exhausted but in a way different than the past couple days. I felt lighter and the more Dick spoke gently the lighter and more relaxed I felt,all the pain easing as he banished every dark thought one by one.

“ You ARE a hero Gracie.”

“ you aren’t a skeleton or a scarecrow or a twig.”

“ You are not too bony.”

“ You’re beautiful.”

“ You aren’t sick and you don’t need any doctors.”

“ You’re ok. The way your body works and retains weight naturally is not your fault.”

“ You’re only thirteen you’re still growing kiddo.”

“ I was scrawny and thin until I was at least sixteen Gracie its not that uncommon.”

“ You do NOT have to hold yourself to stupid human beauty standards.”

“ You’re beautiful to us, that’s all that matters.”

“ You’re ok, you have us.”

Each and every statement cleared my mind and I slumped against him with tears still falling down my cheeks. His hand carefully cupped the back of my neck in a soothing gesture to ease the wolf side of me, adding a very small amount of pressure to ensure the sense of security and safety the movement brought. I whispered out a hoarse thank you, my throat sore and raw but already beginning to heal. He smiled into my hair and I let my eyes slip shut in contentment. I felt...stabilized, as if the whole world had been constantly tilted dangerously under my feet for months and now it had finally been returned to normal, balancing me once again.

I felt a second, no technically third, hand tangle itself into my thick and greasy hair and ruffle it affectionately, fingers tangling themselves in the dark chestnut locks.

“ We’re always here for you kid. Whether you like it or not. You can be honest and confide in your inner circle Gracie. We aren’t going to look at you any differently...so next time don’t keep your mouth shut.” My nerves settled and I leaned into his hand with a loud hiccup, making him snort. I looked up and saw both older men smiling down at me, both with their own kind of soft expressions. I rubbed my eyes and wiped my nose and smiled back shakily, feeling like everything was going to be ok for the first time in a long while.

I learned a few things a few hours later, after I’d fallen asleep in Dicks arms and woke up on the couch out in the Tower’s game room with Garfield and Jaime looking after me. My head was resting on Garfield’s leg and he had his elbow rested on my upper arm comfortably as he and Jaime played some kind of two player video game, keeping their voices lower than usual to be considerate of me sleeping. Opening my eyes was difficult as they felt dry and crusted and stung from crying so much. But my throat was no longer sore. When they saw I was awake they paused the game and and told me they were happy I was up, as I had been out cold for at least a solid couple hours. That was when I learned the first thing : Dick and Kori had informed the team of the incident at the restaurant after the first day I stayed locked up in my room, and Garfield had let it slip in his rage that he thought I had finally stopped getting those comments, and confessed that I’d been getting bullied and harassed about my appearance online for months. What I found out was all those months what I failed to notice was Garfield fighting back on my behalf every chance he got. He defended me, constantly called people out for harassment and even worked on getting some of the worst and most aggressive ones banned. For months he’d been do it as relentlessly as he could, filling his own social medias with both our pictures and his constant defense and positivity towards me to fight it back. It got lost in my own comment section so I stupidly didn’t realize. It warmed my heart knowing he’d kept my back even when I never noticed or mentioned it, though he waved it off and just gave me his big old smile telling me it wasn’t that big a deal,

“ After all, you’d do the same for me in a heartbeat!” And he wasn’t wrong. But I still hugged him tight in thanks anyway, an embrace he happily returned as he warned me next time I lied about being harassed there’d be hell to pay.

I assured him there wasn’t going to be a next time anymore and for the first time in months finally wholeheartedly meant it.

The second thing I learned was Jaime told me during those first two days I was locking myself away Damian had gone back to the restaurant and used Bruce’s name to hunt that guy that had been harassing me down and gotten a few hefty harassment charges and minor endangerment charges slapped onto the guy, throwing in a sob story of how I was now in emergency care in the hospital because of him. I knew he didn’t throw his last name around often, didn’t exactly like having to do so to be taken seriously. The fact he did for me…

I had a lot more feelings for Damian after that knowledge.

The third thing I learned was that the only reason Dick and Kori hadn’t come by to check on me yesterday was was because they spent the entire time hunting for Jason to get his help with getting me out, and when they DID find him he stormed for the tower and made it there before they did somehow, he was that angry.

As they were telling me this and retelling a very tense video call between Nightwing and Batman during the second day Damian came in in his full Robin attire, regarding us stoically. When I saw him I stood and the room quieted as I approached him, the both of us observing each other. When we stood a foot apart I stared into his masked eyes quietly and he looked into my tired eyes. I saw his mouth start to open to speak and my body lurched forward without me, hugging onto him tightly.

“Thank you...you didn’t have to do that for me thank you thank you thank you…” He was quiet and I was about to let go and move away when I felt his arm come around me and grip the back of my shirt, returning the embrace. Neither of us was at a point that we were really physically affectionate by any means but my heart swelled when he hugged me back, leaning his head against my own and allowing me to bask in the warmth of his arms and his scent. When I felt him roll his shoulders I took that as my cue and slowly pulled away, gently pressing a kiss to his cheek as I did before retreating back to give him his space.

I think I saw his cheek flare pink but I’ll never say for sure because that would mean admitting just how red my own cheeks were.

I’d love to say that after that everything ended happily and perfectly and things went great forever and ever. But I cant, life doesn’t work like that.

But things did get better.

I was under heavy supervision several weeks, with almost stricter watches on my food intake to make sure I didn’t try to over eat or try to force weight gain. Bruce had me stay with him and Damian for a few weeks as well to make sure I didn’t slip back into that dark place. It was a bit smothering at times...but in all honesty I welcomed the smothering because I knew it meant how much they all cared. And staying with Bruce again...it brought up my mood believe it or not. Being in the manor brought back happier memories of my childhood and seeing the man I considered a fatherly figure more often perked me up. Plus I got to see Tim a lot more than usual in those few weeks, a perk and joy all in itself as he kept me company when he wasn’t too busy with his work. Tim was also the one who disabled all comments on my social medias one calm rainy evening in the lounge. I was grateful and he patted my head after as he read his case files. I think I might’ve fallen asleep against him, I cant say I fully remember. With each passing week I felt better and better. It took a long time for my self esteem and confidence to rebuild itself, but it got some jump starts. Perhaps the best part was two months later after a sparring session with Kori. She was giving me tips on striking with a staff when Dick and the big bad bat Brucie himself walked in.

“ Batman? Has something happened?” He shook his head and put his hand on my shoulder.

“ I’m going to borrow Gracie for a few minutes.” Dick gently took her hand and smiled as he whispered something to her as he led me out of the training room and placed a long bottle of what looked like red chewy vitamins into my hand. When I looked up at him confused he gave me some of the best news of my life.

“ These are specially created vitamins designed to accommodate your body’s inhuman metabolism. Tim helped me create them. They're designed to help regulate fats and carb distribution in your body and allow your body to hold onto and gain more weight without immediately burning it off. Take one every week and in a few months you should be up at least one weight class if not more as long as you keep to your regular healthy eating habits, just like you wanted. By Tim’s calculations within the year you should gain enough weight to have a thicker figure, though you may always retain this thinner “ballet-ques” figure...you will more closely resemble the figure of girls your age.” I stared up at him then at the vitamins and sniffled, fighting off tears of joy. All those weeks with Tim and his seemingly just curious questions about my species and their anatomy...the “ case files”...I owed Tim a lot for this.

“ It was Dick’s idea, after all that happened two months ago.” The softer tone brought a smile to my face and I nodded, barely restraining the urge to hug Bruce while he was in the cowl.

“ T-thank you...thank you this means more to me than you know…” He nodded and turned to leave but I caught the ghost of a smile on his face as he walked away.

And once he had I ran back into the training room and tackled Dick to the ground with a ecstatic howl, shifting mid leap into wolf form and licking his face in gratitude, making him laugh as he lazily tried to push away my affection.

I started taking them that day, and it took a few months for a noticeable difference to take place, but it did. My clothes and uniform stopped hanging off me like a walking scarecrow and I started developing the beginning of a feminine figure. I stopped trying to stuff my face too much at every meal and with every week after my self esteem raised back up a little higher. Maybe people saw it in the big, wide crooked smiles in pictures of me now, no matter who they were with. Or maybe the team saw it in the fact I stopped trying to hide my body in layers of clothes, walking around in my favorite tank top after missions instead of over sized sweatshirts and shirts, or the fact I didn't mind sudden pictures taken of me. Regardless it showed and in time I was more than happy to show off that confidence. Throughout it all Jason made near constant visits between jobs to make sure I didn’t have too major of setbacks and Dick stayed by my side as often as he could, supporting me and being a physical reminder almost that I was never alone.

And I didn't feel alone.

And one day as I was getting ready for an outing I paused in front of the mirror and looked at myself, looked at my slightly more filled out tank top and the small curve of slightly more defined hips and an actually fairly filled out stomach, a fuller figure to match my broader than normal shoulders. I slowly looked into my own eyes and after a moment I began to smile.

Somehow….I didn't hate looking into the mirror as much as I used to.

“ I do not look that bad. I look fine.”

“ Gracie c’mon you coming? C’mon the others are gonna leave without us!”

I smiled at my reflection wider before running off out of the room after Jaime’s voice.

“ Im coming!!”

I dont look that bad.

And now I could finally start to see that.

The end.

OOOOOOOH ITS FINALLY DONE ITS FINALLY DONE!

Ive been working on this for three months now and it was really difficult to finish. Originally it wasnt supposed to be so angsty but...it turned out really angsty at the end.

@phantommoonpeople

@kid-crashed

@call-me-n0ni-chan

Tagging those I know will want to read this

I hope you all like it!!

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finding-my-imagination · 7 years ago

Text

Family Ties (Pt.9)

Part Nine - The End

Pan x Reader

Word counter: 2.4 k

"Where are we going?" Regina questioned, clearly worried that we were running out of time.

"We're going to the Pixie Woods. Its where all the pixie dust used to grow, before kids stopped believing. It's completely deserted now. No one, not even me, has been there for centuries. Except for Pan" I whispered at the end while swatting pesky bugs, and maneuvering around large palm frowns. About a mile away from the outskirt of the woods I stopped the group, turning to face them.

"I think that from here on out you guys should stay at least, twenty yards away from me."

"What? Why?" Baelfire said growing worried.

"If Pan sees you here, of all the places on the island, I'm not sure what he'll do. This place is like a sanctuary to him. And he only usually comes here in the worst of time. Plus if its just me I might be able to convince him to forgive me. Give him the same sob story we gave to the lost boys. Then maybe while I'm distracting him, Regina and Emma could try to immobilize him with magic or something? Kinda like I did to you back at the camp." I suggested.

"Okay. Be safe." Bae said pulling me in for a sudden hug. "Don't let him manipulate your feeling. You're stronger than you think." He whispered quietly into my ear. I nodded my head in understanding, pulling away, giving him a tight-lipped smile before moving forward. I barely made it two steps forward when Regina grabbed my arm pulling my attention back to her.

"Good luck." She said simply before setting me free. I gave them each a quick once over before finally heading into the woods.

As I walked I tried to focus on keeping a steady pace while constantly reminding myself to breathe as the nerves calmed firmly onto my mind. I know Pan wasn't going to back down without a fight, but as much as I wanted to save Henry for the group and myself, I didn't know if I actually had the strength to hurt him. After roughly ten minutes of walking in silence, I finally enter the center of the woods. I look around trying to find Pan, when I spotted Pandora's box sitting on a rock. I carefully begin to approach it, knowing that Pan wouldn't just leave it behind for no reason.

"I wouldn't touch that if I were you."

I jumped at the sudden voice, as I turned around looking at Pans smirk figure.

"Are you still at this game? I thought by now you would have learned."

I took a deep breathe in before saying, "Why?" I asked letting the plan fly completely out of the window.

"Why, what love?"

"Why couldn't you do it for me, give up the heart? Why did you take away the one thing that I wanted more than anything, away from me?"

"I knew that they would just turn their backs on you like your father did the moment they got what they wanted, plus it took hundreds of years to find the solution to save our youth. And I didn't see the point in letting it walk away just because an unexpected component showed up."

"So that means that my wants are always gonna come second if something you want shows up first?"

"Of course not, love! But this was bigger than both of us and you know that." He said rushing forward placing his hands on my shoulders.

"I have trust issues, Peter! You know this! I know this! Everyone knows this! And yet you ignored that. You were the person that I trusted more than everyone. You saved me. And you took that trust and you through it in the trash, like it meant nothing."

"How did I do that?" He said, confused.

"I trusted you to always be there for me. To always have my back. And the time I need you to have that same trust in me. In what I believed in you walked away." I whispered as tears began to leave my eyes. I tried to turn away as I brought my hands up to eyes to wipe away the evidence of my emotions. "And now I don't know what to do because I cant stay here and look at you, cause I know that I will only see that betrayal. And I cant go with them because when I look at them all I see is that failure to save Henry, that failure to prove my self-worth."

"What are you talking about!? Leaving Neverland? I cant be here without you." He said pulling me back towards him.

"I'm hurt, Peter. The only thing I ever asked you to do, you wouldn't even consider it. While any time you ever asked me to do anything, I'd jump on the task because I knew you wouldn't have asked if it wasn't important."

"You have to stay, we can work everything out."

"Would you be saying that if our roles were reversed? If I had won and you had lost?"

"I don't think I could imagine my life without you in it."

"But would you be able to forgive me?" I pushed, as he tried to avoid the question at hand.

Pan looked me in the eye his own darting from mine to my lips, silently begging me to give up on receiving an actual answer. I felt even more tears fall down my face as I pulled Pan in for what I assumed what was going to be our last kiss for a long time or possibly forever. My hand rose and was placed on his chest, giving his shirt a small tug. After what seemed like an eternity, but was really was only seconds.

"Ow!" Pan froze. I slowly pulled away looking down at the ground letting the tears fall freely.

"What...Why...why can't I move?" Pan said confused by his sudden lack of mobility.

I clenched his shirt one more time before looking him in the eyes once again. "I really wish you would have had faith in me, Peter...They did." I quickly shoved my hand into his chest and wrapping it around Henry's beating heart, averting my eyes from his face. As I pulled my hand free I heard the sounds of approaching moving feet.

I fully disconnected myself from Pan and began to move past him. I grabbed Pandora's box off the rock on which it laid. Then headed towards the edge of the clearing as Emma, Regina, and Bae as they came into view. I push them back a few feet ensuring that we were out of Pan's earshot.

"Sorry it took so long, their magic wasn't working so I had to make a makeshift blow dart covered in nightshade." Bae explained.

I handed the heart to Regina silently, before saying, "Hurry. Take Henry and get him the hell off this island before it's too late, and the nightshade wares off..."

Regina and Emma gave a swift nod then turned and rushed back to the camp.

I turn to Bae, handing him the box, before saying, "Go with them. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"You want me to leave you alone with him after what we just pulled? Are you crazy?"

"I promise you I'll only be a minute. I'm a big girl, I'll be fine."

"Fine. But if you aren't right behind me by the time I get the camp. I'm coming back for you."

"Okay, I'll be quick." I whispered. Bae gave a stiff nod before sending a quick glance Pans way, then turning to head towards the camp. I slowly moved back into Pans direction before stopping a few feet in front of him.

"What not gonna run off with your family, to celebrate your utter betrayal?" Pan said harshly, clearly hurt by my actions.

"I love you. and I know that you're pissed and that you probably hate me at the moment, but I don't regret doing it. Because of their family. and I know you would do the same thing."

"That was your wrong love. I would never betray you like this. And I know you don't regret anything. Cause these tree feed off of regret and yet not one of them has made a single move towards you as you grabbed that box."

"I'm going to see them off. and by the time the nightshade wheres off, they'll be long gone. And once they are you can punish me for not following through with the plan, then after however long it takes and you forgive me, we can start looking for another way to save you and the island."

"But I'm never going to forgive you. You will be dead to me, the moment they step foot off this island. So your punishment is going to last a lifetime, and it's going to be more painful than you could ever imagine." He sneered, as he shot looks of anger towards me. I gave a small nod, knowing that what I had been fearing this whole time was finally becoming a reality. I gave him one last look before following the path Bae had taken back towards the camp.

The moment I walked into the camp I say the Storybrooke group crowded around a now concuss Henry.

"Welcome back, young sir. Only the best for our guest of honor. Don't you think? Captains quarters." Hook said, smiling down at Henry.

"Come on, I'll tuck you in." Regina said ushering him onto the boat. I watched quietly from the trees when Bae noticed my presence.

"Well? Arent, you coming?" Bae asked me as he watched their retreating figures disappear onto the boat.

"No."

"What?!" He questioned, his eyes wiping towards my figure.

"Bae, I'm glad I saved Henry. But this island is my home and the Lost Boys already thought that I abandoned them once and I'll be damned if they think that again."

"But what about Pan? I'm sure he was something nasty planned for you after this. And if he doesn't the Felix definitely does."

"Then Ill face that when the time comes. I still love him. Even though I'm sure he doesn't feel the exact same way as he did before today. And I've been on Pan's bad side before and I've seen how others have been treated when they were on his bad side. So I have a small idea of what to expect. But I don't regret helping you. I don't regret saving Henry. So whatever happens, I'll be okay." I said giving him a slight smile.

"Y/N... Come with us. I cant leave you to here knowing that Pan is going to retaliate."

"I'm sorry Bae. I won't leave my lost boys again."

"Then bring them with you."

"What? I cant bring them. If I brought them they wouldn't know the first thing about your new world. Hell, I don't even know anything about your world. We've all been on Neverland longer than most people have been alive on there."

"I'm mean, sure it will be an adjustment. But Y/N, you're forgetting that a lot of the lost boys are from that world. Hell, I was brought here from there, and I went back. And I turned out just fine."

I thought about the idea that he was offering. Could I really leave? Could I really take all of the lost boys away from Neverland? Could I really leave Pan behind without the possibility of coming back for him? I thought back and forth between the two boys. One representing the past while the other represented the future. If I stayed I would suffer for hurting Pan in a way that I didn't know I was capable of. But if I went, then that meant that I would never be able to truly earn his forgiveness, or know if there was an actual chance of working everything out between us. "I don't know..."

"What if we asked them? See if they want to come? I'm sure that they will, but this way you could see exactly how they feel themselves." Bae turned from me and walked towards the group of lost boys who sat on the opposite side of the camp. "Everyone." Bae stated grabbing the boys attention. " We all know that you're loyal to Pan. But we care about you. We care about what happens to you when we leave this island. And Pans gonna be angry. At us. At Y/N. And at you... We can save you. We can take you to a land were Pan can never harm you to manipulate you guys again. Were he can never get to you again. So my question to you is, do you want to come?"

The lost boys all listen intently to him before looking from one another to me. I stared at them all intensely trying to figure out what they were thinking, and how they would answer.

"Could you really take us home?" One of the boys finally spoke up.

"Absolutely." Bae whispered.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I said looking at them softly. They all gave very hesitant nods before moving their eyes back to Bae.

He turned to me before saying, "So you have their answer. Whats yours?"

I looked at the boys, then Bae, then the ship and everyone waiting to get on before I made my Final decision.

"Okay. Let's load up".

They boys all hooted and hollered before rushing to the ship pushing each other to get on board first.

Bae wrapped his arm around my shoulders, giving my forehead a quick kiss before saying, "Good choice. I wasn't gonna leave you here anyways. You don't abandon family... even when they want you too."

We began to walk up to the Jolly Rodger when I hesitated for a slight second. "Don't worry your not gonna be alone. Were all here for you." I took a deep breath before nodding and walking onto a ship I swore to never step foot onto again. After ten minutes all of the lost boys and the Storybrooke crew were below the deck preparing for taking off.

I thought back to all the good time spent on this island and how I never expected to be leaving. When Jared and Ben came and stood next to me. I bent down and scooped up Ben once the boat began to lift into the air and away from the island.

"So whats next for the lost girl and her little gang of boys?" Jared spoke leaning over the railing, watching the island disappear into the distance.

"Hopefully adventure."

So that’s it! That’s the end of Family Ties! I do have an idea for a sequel but if or when it gets posted will be posted is yet to be decided. Thank you all so much for the amazing support and encouragement that you've given me through this series. If you're interested in the sequel let me know and I’ll jump right on it!

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saintkimora · 8 years ago

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ok, here is a full account of what happened yesterday and the new events from today. caleb if you are seeing this please respect my privacy and stop reading now

ok so it started the other day. caleb texted me at night saying he wanted to talk to me about something serious the next day. i asked what it was about and he said he just wanted to be friends but i didnt read too much into it bc he is impulsive so i figured he would come to his senses the next day

so then yesterday happened. i had just gotten out of sociology at like 10:40am and i saw that he had texted me all these things about breaking up. then when i got to my car he called me on the phone. he then proceeded to break up with me over the phone. his reasoning was that since hes prob moving in a few weeks, he wanted to stop being boyfriends now that way when he does leave itll hurt less than it would, so like easing himself out of the relationship basically. i think its a stupid idea

so these are the issues i had. the first was that he broke up with me over the phone, not even in person. and like i was crying over the phone and his tone was just like very cold and detached and business like and that really hurt me bc he obv knew i was crying but i didnt feel any sympathy from him whatsoever. like if he was crying i would obv be comforting him and trying to make him feel better not talking like a robot. another thing that hurt was that he gave up on the long distance relationship before we could even try it. it made me feel like i was so worthless and unimportant that he didnt even feel like putting forth the effort to make our relationship work. and the fact that he did this all over a 10 minute phone call on his way to the gym. and then like 20 min after he had the NERVE to post a video on his snap story of him at the gym saying “feeling so good *blushing smile emoji*” like that really hurt my feelings and when i told him that later he was like “oh stop making everything about you it was just how i was feeling after working out” but like? i know he obv wasnt saying that he felt so good about breaking up. but what bothered me was that like after he broke up w me, i was a mess i was literally crying all day and i couldnt do anything but cry i was so upset. and then here he is just going on with his day like its another normal tuesday. like the fact that he was capable of being so happy not even a few hours after breaking my heart made me feel like i was nothing, like it was just an errand like “oh im gonna break up with perry then go to the gym lol” and the fact that he did it over the phone just made me feel so insignificant like i was nothing to him and that really hurt. and like ive tried to be the best boyfriend i can be for him and i try to do everything he asks of me so for him to just break up with me in such a dismissive way makes it feel like he doesnt even care

so i was crying in my car, like really bad like i was BAWLING. so i went to the student counseling center and asked for a crisis meeting and i got set up w this counselor named josh. he was nice and tried to help me calm down and focus on orgo. it was nice to have someone to talk to i guess

so then i went home. he called me again to like try to explain himself but only made me feel worse. he was like “you know when i move im not gonna be able to see you everyday and cuddle with you and fall asleep on your chest anymore” and that just made me sadder and i was crying again on the phone. then later we were texting and he was like denying breaking up with me. like, you said you wanted to just be friends and you explicitly said that you didnt want to be boyfriends anymore so how is that not breaking up??? and he said “i was trying to have a conversation with you but all you did was cry.” with the period to show how serious he was. and it really hurt me when he said that bc it felt like he was mad at me and using me crying against me, like i somehow did something wrong by crying. again if he was the one crying i would not be holding it against him like that so i really wish he didnt say that bc it made me feel bad for being emotional which should not be something to feel bad about. and at the end of the call he didnt say i love you like he always does so that hurt my feelings as well

and like i took away the hearts from his contact name and changed my phone backgrounds since they were pictures of him and that just made me really sad

i skipped psych and anatomy lecture but i couldnt skip my anatomy practical. i cried when i was backing up my car to leave bc i saw the “hi <3″ that he wrote in the dirt on my back windshield a while ago and it just set me off. so i got to school and i was planning on having this be the dropped grade so i wasnt like worried but i got a 90 anyways so that was nice. the prof was like “perry whats wrong you look depressed” and i was like im just a little sad today and he was like why and i was like “bc my significant other broke up w me” (i used s/o bc idk how my prof is about those things so i didnt wanna say bf). he told me this story about how in his senior year of college he had such bad mono it was misdiagnosed as hodgkins disease so he was given 18 months to live and his gf of 4 years left him after finding out. so he told me “perry, girls are like a bus. if you miss one, another one will come along in 15 minutes. if i had daughters i would tell them the same thing about guys” so that was nice that he tried to cheer me up. then when i was leaving from the other room (bc we leave our stuff in the other room during the practical) the TA came to me from the main room and wished me luck on my finals so that was nice of him

so then i went home. then at 10pm i met w caleb in person in his car. we talked and at first he would not let me get a word in and he just kept defending himself and what also upset me was that he thought the reason i was so upset was that he was moving and he was so defensive like “i wish i could stay here but i have no choice i cant afford to live here its too expensive” and like that is not what upset me!!! i already knew he was moving ive had time to accept it what upset me was how he broke up w me for no reason w almost no warning and did it in such a cold way. and like the way i see it is since hes leaving instead of easing ourselves out of the relationship to stop us from getting hurt when he actually leaves (which wont happen bc itll hurt regardless), i figured we should make the most of our time together and enjoy each other as much as possible since we’ll have plenty of time to get over each other AFTER he moves. so when i told him my point of view he was like “i wish i thought of it like that, im really bad at this” so that was how i resolved the issue. he was hesitant about keeping the bf label but i told im i really wanted to and i didnt see a point in taking away the label now anyways. i also told him i at least wanted to try long distance instead of giving up before it even happens. i dont remember what he said to it though lol i was too emotional. but yeah the beginning of the convo just felt like he was berating me and i started to cry again bc i dont like it when hes rude to me like that

then he told me that im so sensitive i could see a squirrel in the road and cry and i had to explain to him that i am not a sensitive and emotional person! im normally v reserved w my emotions like ive only cried maybe 3 times the past 8 years and that im just emotional when it comes to him bc i care about him so much

another thing that bothered me was that he said every relationship teaches a lesson, and from ours he learned not to rush into things. i dont get that bc yes we did rush but that wasnt really a bad thing? like he wouldve moved regardless so taking things slow wouldnt have changed that. and like since we rushed into things it will hurt more when he leaves since we are closer than we would be if we took it slow but also like, if we didnt rush we wouldnt have gotten so close and had so much fun together in the first place. so imo the benefits of getting so close so fast vastly outweighed the pain of him leaving

so everything would be great except for this next part. he told me the easing out of the relationship thing was bc he got the advice to do that from his mom and leeann. so when i got home i made a post calling leeann toxic and his mom stupid for interfering in our relationship. and like yall can tell that obv i was kidding and just exaggerating for humorous effect like i dont really think his mom is stupid or that leeann was toxic, just that their advice in the situation was bad. but caleb texted me this morning being so rude calling me disgustingly disrespectful for saying that and he said that “next time you think about doing this remember how it felt when i dumped you (so he admitted that he did dump me) - and get those tissues ready” (since ive been using a lot of tissues since i was crying so much). that really really hurt my feelings bc 1. he is once again using me crying against me and 2. it shows a total lack of sympathy for me crying, like it felt like hell yesterday i was so upset and he knows that so for him to threaten to put me through that again just shows he doesnt really care about me or my feelings.

he also said i need to stop using him and leeann and his mom as “characters in your online stories” like...these arent online stories? this blog is where i vent and talk about my feelings since i dont have anyone to do that with irl and i need to get them out somewhere im not writing these posts to be mean it just feels good to put my thoughts into words instead of bottling them up and even my therapist thinks its a good thing for me to do

so he said that but i was NOT having it. i typed up a long text in response and even i admit it was kinda mean. like in his he said “dont even talk to me for the rest of the day” so at the end of my text i said “dont talk to me ever i am perfectly fine w never talking to you again the rest of my life so bye have fun in new hampshire or whatever” and he was like “perry stop you dont mean that last part” and then he called me and once again got defensive he said he was just trying to have a convo w me and i was being aggressive for no reason. like, no??? a convo would have been texting me like “perry i know its your personal blog where you post your feelings but this post upset me and this is why” not coming at me with 4 super rude texts out of nowhere. so he was trying to play the victim and paint me as irrational and that im overreacting just like he did yesterday and i didnt like it! he was just dismissing my feelings again. so i went OFF in this phone call like wow i really snapped and it felt good tbh

like i think he was just expecting me to sit there and take it and apologize like i usually do when he gets like this but i am done doing that! so i think he was caught off guard that i stood up for myself. i was like caleb i really dont care i have the most important orgo test of the semester today you already took yesterday from me but today i am not entertaining it if you have an issue call me after my test” and i ended the convo and hung up and then he texted me “good luck on your test” like ok hi king of passive aggressiveness

so thats it. i felt good at first but later on i felt bad so i texted him apologizing for snapping at him but i said i wont discuss the tumblr issue until we are in person. i asked if he was free tonight and he said no he wants a day or two to be separate and normally i would understand but like...hes moving in a few weeks i really dont want to waste time fighting and being in this weird place

not to be out of order but another thing that got on my nerves was when we made up last night. he said “once i move youll have more free time for things like school, work, maybe going to the gym” like once again here he is commenting on my appearance! like yes i know im scrawny and i wish i wasnt but im sick of him taking jabs at my looks like my body, acne, and eyebrows when i literally have NOTHING but nice things to say about how he looks. it makes me feel bad when he points out my flaws like that and a good boyfriend is not supposed to make me feel like that

now for the most recent development. leeann sent me this LONG fb message bc caleb told her what i posted about her. like why does he have to expose me like that! i didnt read the message i was like “yeah im not reading this but just so you know i was kidding i wasnt serious i was exaggerating lol” and she was like ok lol

i just dont know why she thinks i care about her input on MY relationship? like youre calebs friend not mine to be frank i dont give a fuck what you think about whats best for my relationship like you dont know me so mind your business

and thats another thing. in the past caleb has gotten pissed at me for sharing our business too much (by telling my friends (who he will literally never meet since they all went away for school) and by posting on here) yet here he goes telling leeann everything! seems hypocritical to me

and heres a second thing. i have always told caleb that my blog is my personal space where i can safely vent and talk about my feelings and that he should respect my privacy by not reading my personal posts. and ive told him that if he does wanna read them then hes doing so at his own risk bc im not going to filter myself bc this is MY space not his so if he really wants to overstep his boundaries and look at my posts then he cant get mad at me for them bc HE is the one choosing to read them even after my warning! so i dont think he should be getting mad at me especially when i was in such an extreme state of mind yesterday since he put me through the worst day of my life for no reason which literally couldve been 100% avoided if he had just waited to talk to me in person instead of breaking up w me over the phone. and like now i feel like this isnt even a space place for me to express myself anymore since theres a chance of him seeing. and i tried blocking him before but he made a new blog and wont tell me the url so i cant block him smh

so yeah thats everything that happened. im kinda stressed rn w this whole leeann drama even though he shouldnt have been reading my posts in the first place. like its just so much drama and i dont like how it feels and idk why this relationship turned sour so fast and i wish he would just be nice and sweet to me again. so hopefully things get better

#this is so long omg #if any of you actually read all of this or even just skim it i love you <3 #personal

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