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prettywordsyouleft · 5 years ago

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Past And Present (Choose What I Write Story)

Summary: you believed that you had met your soulmate as a child but you had been wrong.

Pairing: Park Jinyoung x reader (ft Im Jaebum)

Genre: soulmate au / university au

Trope: enemies to lovers

Warnings: none

A/N: Well, he’s done it again. This time it was intentional though! For the longest moment during the voting period, it was a battle royale between the JJP boys and Jinyoung just cinched it in the last day. So I decided to add in Jaebum to help bring an obstacle to this storyline. Originally, like most of my Jinyoung stories, the plan was much simpler than this. Of course, you throw in a supercharged Park Jinyoung who hasn’t had a story written for him in over a month and a soulmate au on top and well, this is a bit of a lengthy piece than what I had hoped for!

I also was a little concerned about writing another soulmate au with Jinyoung after Destined, but this world is far different than the one in my first soulmate attempt, so hopefully it won’t feel like something you’ve read before.

Word count: 5869

You were certain you had known who your soulmate was for your entire life.

Im Jaebum had been your first friend as a child and when you touched for the first time, the gasp that left you both had your parents rejoicing.

Just like that, you had met your destined partner.

With that title between you and Jaebum established, you continued your childhood at each other’s sides and moved easily into teenage years where exploration further enhanced your connection. It was an effortless relationship, with every touch, kiss or stare, you each felt cherished, overwhelmed, connected.

And that was why when you both got into different universities as young adults, neither of you were phased about the separation.

Of course, you voiced how hard it would be living so far apart when you were used to being only five minutes away from each other. But you had prepared for the lack of physical stimulation from Jaebum, with scheduled video chats and using other technological advances to make the distance work.

On a deeper level though, you trusted your connection.

Nothing had disturbed it yet. And you had believed nothing ever could. Your life was set. After university, you would marry Jaebum, move in together, have a couple of kids and live out your predestined lives together. The guesswork had been completely taken out of your hands.

So why was your life in chaos ever since you met Park Jinyoung?

At first, you were hopeful that seeing him in all your classes would help you settle into tertiary life with a common link. Perhaps, that was your first mistake. It wasn’t as if Jinyoung was unfriendly either, he had a similar thought process as you, taking a seat next to you in all your shared classes for the first week of your semester.

And that was when it all began. You hadn’t ever experienced being irked by someone as much as you were by him. Jinyoung was just as smart as you, rivalling you in answers and provoking endless debate. You could have dealt with this if he wasn’t so egotistical in his approach whenever he beat you, his smug smile causing you to seethe instantly. You were no longer comrades taking the same papers, yet he refused to let up about sitting next to you.

Jinyoung had figured out your buttons early on, purposely winding you up at any chance he got. And when he wasn’t focused on annoying you, it gave you too much time to sit and anticipate his next move. Some days, he would leave you alone entirely, aware that he still had your full attention. It was those days where you realised that every little action he made could bother you. His breathing, the way his hand would run through his hair, his laughter, everything was capable of spiralling you into a state.

You tried to separate from him, of course. Once you established that he was a major distraction to your degree, you took active steps to avoid him. It wasn’t easy, given every day was full of hours spent in the same lecture halls, tutorial classes and library spaces, but you made a solid effort to ignore his existence as best as you could.

Yet, this bothered him greatly.

“Why aren’t we sitting in our normal row today, Y/N?” he asked as he sat down beside you, blinking all too innocently for someone who could read your emotions well. The ghost of a smirk was tugging at the corners of his lips and you rolled your eyes, reaching to pick up your supplies to move seats. Jinyoung’s hand came down on yours to stop you and you gaped at him incredulously. He merely pouted. “I’m offended.”

“I sat here to actually get some work done.”

Jinyoung nodded. “What’s holding you back from doing so?”

A thousand curse words and snappy statements flooded your mind in response; instead, you smiled forcibly at him. “Surely, you could befriend someone else.”

“I have friends,” he agreed casually, shrugging a little as if having a vast amount of friendships was normal for everyone. Jinyoung then stared at you, eyes alive with amusement. “But none of them react as well as you do to me.”

“Honestly!” you breathed and a couple of groups around you both glanced in your direction. Feeling your cheeks redden as Jinyoung positively glowed from your outburst, you slumped back down into your chair, resolute on ignoring him for the next fifty minutes.

Jinyoung was having none of that.

He bounced his leg consistently until you shot him a warning look and then he started with his little sighs, each one sounding louder in your ears than the last. You reached to pinch his arm in protest and he gaped at your assault, acting as if you had gravely injured him. He decided instead of moving away from you that he would shift even closer on his seat, pressing right into your side.

You threw your pen down in defeat. It was impossible to get anything done with him playing dirty like this.

When class ended, you spun to face him, Jinyoung now smiling triumphantly at you. “Yes, Y/N?”

“I’m done with you.”

“Are you really?”

You nodded firmly. “Why can’t you leave me alone?!”

“Now where’s the fun in that?” he asked, standing up and slinging his bag over his shoulder before leaning down into your face. “It’s not my fault you’re incredibly easy to make this flustered.”

“Flustered?!” you repeated an octave higher, shaking your head. “I am not flustered!”

“Really? Then how come your cheeks are so pink, hm?” Jinyoung reached out to poke one before a soft chuckle left him. “The colour suits you.”

“Park Jinyoung, you are positively the most annoying human to ever exist!”

He grinned, stepping away from you into the aisle of the emptying lecture hall. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Over the next few weeks, you suffered at the hands of his insistent behaviour. You grew increasingly frustrated, wondering why he was being like this with you.

You regretted the day you had openly reached out to befriend him.

“And so today, he overheard me telling my friend Nora that I planned on having sushi for lunch and when I went to the cafeteria and fell in line behind him, he purposely took the last tray of sushi when he never eats it. He always has one of the sandwich packs so he can study at the same time as he eats!”

“Maybe he was feeling like sushi today?” Jaebum offered over your video chat but you shook your head immediately.

“No, he did it to spite me.”

“I’m sure you’re reading into this too much, Y/N. The guy probably doesn’t have anything to bother himself over you about. Maybe he’s just messing around with you because you are easy to rile up.”

“You too?!” you cried and Jaebum chuckled. “No, I’m not easy game! And even if I were, I’ve asked him to leave me alone, so shouldn’t he?”

“Well, what have you exactly said to him?” Jaebum became thoughtful for a moment. “You have told him you’ve met your soulmate already, right?”

“No,” you answered, wondering why it was needed to do so. You didn’t view Jinyoung in a romantic light in the slightest. Even considering it for a mere second made you shudder. “I don’t share my personal life with him.”

“Maybe he likes you.”

You smirked, readjusting your laptop. “Just because to you I’m irresistible, doesn’t mean everyone thinks the same way. Jinyoung is just annoying me because he is an asshole.”

“Don’t you remember when Jackson wouldn’t leave Glynnis alone in middle school? He annoyed her until she screamed at him in front of everyone in class.”

You thought back to the time, smiling lightly. “He blurted out he was in love with her and made her cry from embarrassment.”

“Jinyoung could be doing the same thing.”

Trying to compare your situation with the juvenile one of your past, you shook your head. “He’s an adult now Jae, surely he would know there are better ways to approach someone if he felt that way.”

“You never know. If you state it to him that I exist, he might stop.”

“Maybe,” you replied, still in thought. And then you glanced back at the video representation of your boyfriend and pouted. “Doesn’t any of this bother you?”

“No, why should it? You’re capable of solving this issue yourself and I’m not threatened if he does like you. I know you only have eyes for me.”

You grinned, nodding happily. “Of course, you’re my forever.”

Deciding to put Jaebum’s advice into action, you attempted to throw it out that you were in a relationship with your soulmate more than once but it never quite eventuated. Either Jinyoung would steer the conversation away or you would be disrupted by something around you. At night, you would consider new options on how to tell him, chiding yourself for holding back from doing so when you could have just pushed forth. Once he knew you were in a relationship, hopefully, he would step back and give you some space.

It was three weeks later when you both had hired a study room to escape the noise of the main library floor to get some actual work done that you finally announced it. You were both silent for most of the first hour, and for once, Jinyoung was more involved in preparing for your upcoming exams instead of harassing you. It was a perfect opportunity and yet you stalled for twenty minutes, trying to word it right within your head.

Jinyoung sighed heavily. “What is it?”

“Do you believe in soulmates?” you wondered and he didn’t look up from his laptop, his tapping on the keys persistent.

“Doesn’t everyone?”

“Have you met yours?” you continued and finally his hands slowed down, now hovering over the keys without any direction to keep moving. Jinyoung blinked slowly and you leaned over the table unconsciously. “Whether through dreams or in person?”

Whilst you hadn’t dreamt of Jaebum, you had always believed you never needed to since you met him at an early age. Most other people dreamed of who they were destined to before they met them and suddenly you were curious if Jinyoung had or not. Maybe you could help him find his soulmate so he could leave you alone.

When he looked up at you, his eyes were darker, swirling with several emotions. You were taken aback, jumping and hitting into the back of your seat in the process. “What if I have?”

“You have?!” you asked, eyes widening. “Really?!”

“Does it matter if I have or not?” He went back to typing, albeit at a slower rate.

“Well, not to me it doesn’t I guess.” You weren’t sure why his vague answer troubled you so much. You almost didn’t say the next part in your thought process, and when you did, it came out weaker than you intended. “I have.”

Jinyoung tilted his head but didn’t otherwise respond. It irked you. “Did you hear me?”

“You have what?”

“I know who my soulmate is,” you told him and Jinyoung glanced back up you, his eyes now hesitant. You searched his vulnerable expression for a moment, blinking rapidly when you felt your heart thumping in your chest harder. “I uh, I’ve known my soulmate since I was a child. We don’t go to school together but we’re very much a couple.”

No response.

You watched Jinyoung until your cheeks were burning with embarrassment, wondering why you had even listened to Jaebum in the first place. Jinyoung hadn’t reacted how you expected him to and you felt increasingly uncomfortable.

Just when you thought he was going to ignore you entirely, his head snapped up, a smile that you had never seen before now greeting you. You didn’t have enough time to examine it as his next words distracted you. “I didn’t know we were that close to share personal details like that, Y/N.”

“Oh, well uh-”

Jinyoung scraped back his chair, still smiling yet the force of shutting his laptop conflicted the cheerful gesture exhibiting on his lips. “I’m done studying today, you can have the rest of the time to yourself.”

You watched him leave and it hit you then, the fakeness of his response. His eyes had said otherwise.

He very much so cared.

Jinyoung was bitter from your announcement. And instead of giving you immediate relief, his reaction only troubled you further.

Why did you feel like you had broken him?

You snapped up with a jolt, breathing heavily as you attempted to shake away the dream. You had found yourself standing outside the same unfamiliar home you always dreamed of, seeing the back profile of a man who you had never been able to distinguish. Desperation overwhelmed you still; just as much as you wished to reach out for him in your dreams, now back within reality, you craved to know who this man was. For some time, you had been convinced it was Jaebum with how much you felt a need to be around the mysterious person. You did eventually realise his figure was different than your boyfriend’s and it puzzled you that you wouldn’t ever dream of anything but this one person.

Everyone believed dreams were the gateway to your past life’s connection to your soulmate, so it always bothered you when Jaebum wouldn’t turn around and face you within this alternate reality.

Reaching out for your bottle of water on your nightstand, you unscrewed the lid and gulped down a couple of mouthfuls, your eyes still searching the darkness surrounding you for clues. You knew the dream world wouldn’t be waiting behind your eyelids again, no matter how much you would try to force yourself back to that house, to that view; it was never in your control.

You were comfortable with knowing your destiny wasn’t fully within your hands, but you also required clarity in your life. Whenever the path looked unclear, you would dream of this other lifetime, never finding out anything further than what was shown to you.

And ever since you had told Jinyoung about Jaebum, the dream had reoccurred every night for the past twelve days.

Which was the same amount of time that Jinyoung had disappeared from your world.

You had rejoiced initially. The one thing you had always hoped for was just this, freedom from his teasing, space from his close proximity and yet you didn’t appreciate this feeling at all. Your eyes sought him out across the room longingly some days, watching his back view often. It felt too familiar to you, something you had seen so often within another world.

Tonight you were slowly starting to entertain something conflicting.

Why would it be Jinyoung in your dreams? He had no place in there and you laughed incredulously, as if the sound could dislodge your disillusioned thought process. What would your past self have to do with Jinyoung? Jaebum was your soulmate. You had the feelings, the connection, everything you were meant to. With Jinyoung, you had merely frustration. You had touched him before and there had been no sudden revelation of feelings to overwhelm you with.

Before you placed too much weight in it, you picked up your phone, letting it ring until a sleep-filled voice mumbled in answer. “Hello?”

“You dream of me, right?” you pleaded, chewing on your lip in anxious anticipation.

“Y/N it’s four in the morning, why are you calling me about dreams?”

“Just answer it. I’m in your dreams right?”

Jaebum paused, evidently wiping the sleep away from his face with the sigh that sounded into the receiver. He didn’t answer right away, and you blinked back your emotions. Why was it so hard to respond? If you weren’t dreaming of Jaebum, you would feel at ease knowing he dreamt of you instead. His silence was confirming suspicions that had been growing underneath your relationship for some time.

“You don’t?” you whispered and Jaebum groaned.

“Y/N, why are you getting hung up on dreams?” he wondered but even Jaebum knew that dreams meant something to one’s soul. The lifeline of your past had brought you to this point.

You existed and so did your past. It was an intertwining bond of past and present that shaped your destiny. Being ‘hung up’ over dreams was kind of expected.

“You really don’t?”

Jaebum sighed again. “I’ve never dreamt. Not once.”

The very next day, you walked across the lecture hall to where Jinyoung sat, his gaze widening when it connected with yours before he looked away to his textbook. When you didn’t move on, he let out a heavy breath, glancing back at you. “Can I help you with anything?”

Was he always this cold towards you? It made you blink rapidly whilst your chest panged with heartache, as if he had just attacked you physically. Breathing felt difficult and you placed your hands down on the top of the desk for support and to hopefully break free from the pain.

“I dream of you.”

Such a simple sentence to blurt out but the reaction from Jinyoung was instant. He looked as if all the air had been sucked out of him, his dark eyes unblinking as they bored back at you. At first, you saw fear. The hope that swirled within his panic. The multitude of emotions reached out for you one after the other, overwhelming you until you could no longer take it and you turned away, departing the class before it began.

For the rest of the day, you avoided the world. You hid in your dorm room, trying to decipher all that had happened in that moment. You connected it to the conversation you held with Jinyoung in the study room that day, linking the reactions as one and the same. You had been right; it bothered him greatly when you mentioned having a soulmate already. Your proclamation this morning only convinced you further that Jinyoung’s attention on you had more reason than that of a fellow student.

Did he dream of you as well? Of that quaint house you had never entered? Was it a home he had once lived in? You were riddled with questions, yet you ignored every message you received on your phone as well. You knew it was him. The incessant buzzing reminded you of his constant appearance at your side this year and eventually, you silenced your phone, throwing it down on your nightstand and yanked your covers over your head.

At some point, you fell asleep.

The house stood before you yet again, though this time, you saw him. Not within the house, no, you were there instead. Why had the angle changed? It was you who had the home, the fence behind you keeping Jinyoung out. He seemed so far away yet you could make out that gaze all too well. He was hurting and you couldn’t fathom why.

And then you heard someone calling for you, or at least, it felt as if it were a name you once went by. You turned to see Jaebum standing before you, pulling you within the home and shutting Jinyoung out behind the door.

When you sat up from this dream, you were breathing heavily, the tears streaming from your eyes effortlessly. You should have rejoiced, you had finally dreamed of Jaebum. Yet you felt a loss like no other. Even when your grandmother had passed away when you were a teenager, it hadn’t hurt this bad. You wanted to close your eyes again, to go back to the door and open it. You needed to see Jinyoung again. The gaze he held before Jaebum pulled you inside was haunting you now that you were awake. His pain felt like your own.

Somehow, you noticed the sudden glow in your room despite your eyes seeing a different world still. Blinking, you turned to pick up your phone, unlocking the device and reading the latest message from Jinyoung with a tremble.

I dream of you too.

Sitting across from Jinyoung the next day felt awkward. You gripped onto the burning hot mug within your hands and yet it was all you could think to do.

That and reach out for him. Strangely, all you had wanted since meeting up with him at the campus coffee house was just that. Part of it was juvenile. You wanted to see if you felt something this time touching him. But more so, you craved a comfort from him that you never expected to desire.

So you held the mug tightly, ignoring the warnings your fingers were sending to your brain about the heat and stared back at the dark haired man before you.

Silence had sat between you both for a good ten minutes before Jinyoung finally spoke up. “Since when?”

“When what?”

“Are you sure it’s me?”

You stared at him then, properly this time. There was no humour, not a playful smile in sight. Instead, he was scared. You knew you were as well, but noticing the emotion in his eyes made you wish to remove it. And that only frightened you further.

Blinking away your thoughts, you mumbled, “For as long as I can remember. And it’s you, I saw your front view for the first time last night.”

That dream continued to repeat over and over until the morning finally arrived, your mind and soul fatigued from such a constant workout. You noted the lack of quality of sleep within Jinyoung’s gaze too and it made you curious.

“When did you start dreaming of me?”

He shared a wistful smile. “When I was eight.”

“You remember a distinct age?”

“Well, of course,” he replied with a grin, easing you somewhat. “When I told my Mum I dreamed of some weird woman, she freaked out and made me tell her every detail. Then she explained to me what the dream meant.”

“What did she say?” you wondered, leaning forward, encouraging him to share more. Jinyoung’s ears flamed pink and you smirked. “What?!”

“She told me one day I would meet you and to record every dream I’ve had because you were my past and eventually would be my present and future.”

You slumped back in your chair immediately, cursing yourself for being eager. You willed your heart to slow down.

Finally, you found the courage to talk. “I have a soulmate, though.”

“Doesn’t everyone,” Jinyoung murmured, taking a sip of his coffee. He sighed softly. “My soulmate is in love with another man. History is repeating, huh?”

You glanced up then, eyebrows knitted together. “What?”

“Have you dreamed of much?” Jinyoung asked, posing himself within the chair, exuding confidence that only confirmed what you had assumed on your way here. Jinyoung had dreamt of you a great deal. And whilst you had as well of him, it had always been the same angle. What had he seen that you hadn’t? You stared at him for a moment, jealous that his connection with his dreams seemed stronger.

He smirked. “Unlike you, I’ve had years to wait for this opportunity. You weren’t even looking for me, so why would you dream in-depth?”

“How do you know what I have and haven’t dreamt of?”

“You face gave you away,” he admitted with a chuckle and you pouted at his teasing. It was nice though, to see him like that again and your childish reactions to it.

It didn’t last long, Jinyoung’s expression faltered, much like his mood. He still couldn’t slip back to before.

Back to when he thought you were his this time around.

You groaned with how confusing this all was. “What am I like in your dreams?”

“Someone who I missed the opportunity with in another life. We didn’t cross paths until it was too late. I chose to let you remain with the man you had married.”

Wait… married? Your mouth fell ajar as you tried to keep up to speed.

“My mother urged me to not let you slip away this time. If soulmates miss their opportunity in one lifetime, it can lead to complications in another. If they miss twice, they may never meet again in the future. At least, that’s what is written whenever I researched it.”

Of course, Park Jinyoung and sought out the knowledge of the phenomena unlike you.

Not that you had believed you had a reason to.

And what made you think you did now? Because you dreamed of him? Just because that happened didn’t mean your life had to change. You had been happy with Jaebum. You had always believed it was him. He was familiar, like a home.

You thought back to how he pulled you within the house in your dreams and you grabbed at your throbbing head. “It’s too much.”

“Is it?”

You glanced up then, the vulnerable way Jinyoung was staring at you catching your breath in your chest. He blinked back his own emotions, trying to smile. “Too much is dreaming of never being the chosen one. Too much is hearing from your own mouth that you’d known your soulmate since a child. I don’t know, Y/N. Was I truly destined to suffer so much over and over?”

Your world blurred then as the tears welled within your eyes. Had he really suffered that much? Since figuring it all out, the last two days had been a whirlwind of emotions you had never anticipated to experience.

Especially not with him.

For the first time, you doubted who Jaebum was to you. You even doubted who you were.

You didn’t want anyone to suffer. And yet, it seemed inevitable.

Exams were done with, and semester break had arrived. Heading home signalled a crossroads within your life. You would leave Jinyoung back in your schooling world and immerse yourself in the one you had once felt confident within.

You were nervous to see Jaebum, however.

Things had been somewhat strained since your phone call that night, with you now knowing that your soul had two men within its past journey and neither was a right or wrong. Jaebum hadn’t pressed the matter either, which upset you more than you had let on to him. You had hoped he could break you out of the funk you were in over Jinyoung. That he could say something to make you forget about all the dreams, the newfound feelings, the continued battle within you to spend more time with someone who wasn’t your boyfriend. At one point, you had considered Jinyoung an enemy! Now you considered too many things about him.

The solace you craved from being home again was short-lived. You met with friends, you laughed with family and you reminisced of the old times.

With Jaebum especially.

Sitting across from him in your family home felt strange now. At first, you had bounded up to his arrival at the door, smiling when you saw him and wrapped your arms around him as he hugged you back. You had hoped that hug would remove any niggling insecurities. It hadn’t, if anything, his embrace felt different. Not cold, because you could never imagine Jaebum to be that way with you. Yet there was no warmth like there once was.

The barrier between you was evident.

After catching up on school stuff, your conversation fell short, neither of you immediately addressing the elephant within the room until the silence became unbearable. Why was it hard to connect with him now?

“Are you still dreaming?” he finally asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Mm.”

“Have you seen who the man is in person at all?” Glancing up, you were surprised that Jaebum had asked the question at all. He was watching you intently, a sad smile crossing his lips. “You have, huh.”

One time, you had told Jaebum about your dream. Hoping that he had seen it himself and could shed light on what it meant. Now and then he would ask you about it, and in the past, you had assured him that you were none the wiser.

Had Jaebum known you weren’t his soulmate all this time?

“Is it him?”

“Who?”

“The guy who bothered you, is it him?” Jaebum continued and you nodded once, only listening to the sigh that left him as you were too ashamed to look up now. Even though you hadn’t done a thing, you felt as if you had cheated with Jinyoung. It was a precarious feeling, and you didn’t know what to do with yourself.

Jaebum didn’t respond for a while. You couldn’t speak of your thoughts either. Nothing made sense, and clarity remained out of reach.

And then he stood up. He smiled down at you, chuckled even. “I always wondered why I didn’t dream of you. Now I know why.”

“I wish it was you.”

“No, you should wish for your real soulmate.”

You shrugged. “I’m kind of over the whole concept, to be honest.”

“And we thought our teenage years were hard, huh?” he mentioned with a grin and you rolled your eyes, a small smile tugging at the corners of your mouth all the same momentarily.

“What do we do, Jaebum?”

He reached out to rub the top of your arms, still smiling down at you. “Are you sure of him?”

“How can I be sure of anything? I’m with you.”

“Maybe you need to step back from me and find out who he is. I’ll always be in your life, perhaps just not as how we originally thought. Who knows, maybe I’ll start dreaming now too.”

And just like that, your first love had given you the sacrifice you would need to figure everything out.

When you returned to your dorm after your break, a package was waiting for you. Once settled in from your journey, you reached to open it, finding a plain notebook inside. There was no note from the sender, and you frowned before placing it down on your desk and taking a shower. When you returned, the puzzle of the book grappled at you until you flipped to the first page.

The handwriting was legible but definitely youthful. What it lacked in style was made up in the content. It felt as if you were reading some fantastical storyline about soulmates for the next several pages. You felt the years go by as the writing style changed, the neatness improving, and losing that story-telling charm. Some pages only had a few words on them. Others were longer, more time spent on the feelings experienced rather than the actual happenings.

By the time you reached the last entry in the journal, you felt as if you had ridden a rollercoaster and as you climbed off, you found you knew more about yourself through the eyes of someone else than you had ever expected to.

It made you leap up from your chair, hurriedly place on some extra clothing, and then head out into the brisk evening. You had an idea of where Jinyoung lived, but not the exact address and yet this didn’t deter you from making your way over there at all. After bumping into a fellow classmate, you found out the information you needed and went into a building, taking a few deep breaths outside of the door before you knocked on it.

When it opened, Jinyoung stared at you quietly, not inviting you in, nor greeting you at all. It made your cheeks flush with embarrassment, unsure now as to why you were standing here. The item you held tightly to your chest reminded you of your rushed emotions and you held it out towards him feebly. “I read your journal.”

Jinyoung still didn’t respond, eyes hard, searching yours for something.

You smiled weakly and rocked on your heels, thrusting it out towards him further. “Thank you for letting me read it.”

“Really? That’s all?” he wondered and you blinked, frowning slightly. “You’re thanking me for showing you the most personal thing in my life?”

“Well, I … I mean… can I come in?”

You glanced both ways down the hallway, feeling exposed. Jinyoung was still for a moment and then scoffed. “Do you really want to?”

You knew the added implication despite his response. That was his way of protecting his feelings, it always had been. Despite this, he was searching your eyes for a sign that he could let some of them show. Hope infiltrated his stare once more. You smiled and that was enough for him to grab a hold of you, pulling you inside his room.

And once the door was shut, he pressed you against it.

The swiftness of this new position winded you, though breathing became all too difficult to comprehend once Jinyoung’s lips met yours. They merely pressed into yours, connecting yet unmoving. Even with just the weight of his mouth on yours, a fire burned within you, unlike anything you had felt before. Every inch of your body felt as if it was alive, the colours around you both now vivid, blinding. His kiss began to build languidly, and within that moment, your eyes fluttered shut, still feeling, seeing and hearing too much. Stars rained down behind your eyes, and the hairs stood up upon your skin. You could hear his equally staggered breath, the hot air blowing out from his nose onto your cheek. The thumping of your own heart rivalled by his own and when you finally pulled away to catch your breath, your hands were now threaded through the ends of his silky hair, anchored there.

Jinyoung slowly smiled. “I can actually do this with you, right?”

“I wouldn’t have come to you if I couldn’t do this with a clear conscience.”

Somehow, his smile grew. And then you were tasting him again.

You didn’t rush. But as the weeks went by, you realised that the past that you had once lived, both in this lifetime and beyond that was definitely not your future.

It eased you when Jaebum messaged you telling you he had dreamed of someone as well. It was as if this whole puzzle had pieces that needed to be put in place before the next one could be discovered and placed down as well.

And there was still a whole lot of pieces to go. After all, you had so much to discover about Jinyoung. You hadn’t grown up with him, and over the months of getting to know him so far, well, you had kind of disliked him.

Perhaps your dislike towards him was because you couldn’t figure out why he bothered you so much. And even though you now had a reason behind his place in your life, he still was the same guy you had sworn was sent to drive you insane. Which Jinyoung had innate skill at doing, whether it was by getting your attention during class, or taking your breath away in endless kisses, he was always there right at your side.

And you knew in this lifetime, he always would be.

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