#but its more interesting when theyre having the worst time ever

[discranola]

i think it’d be really cool (read: agonizing for jotaro) if after star platinum finally unlocked the ability to stop time it started looking more and more like the world over the years. like its still clearly star platinum but changing in tiny little ways to look more like the world to the point where jotaro barely uses his stand because just seeing star platinum is enough to fuck him up sometimes. and having such a negative reaction to seeing the manifestation of your own soul is predictably not good for him!

[chirpycloudyrobin]

Previous || Masterlist || START || Next

wei wuxian had barely dusted off the magma from the kiln off his person when he gets rudely yanked to mo village and mo xuanyu's side. he appears before mo xuanyu still in his bloodied yiling laozu set up and theyre both ??? confused as fuck because what the hell that wasnt supposed to happen !

turns out the whole sacrificial summon array didnt account for the possibility of summoning a ghost king. so there was no soul replacement, mo xuanyu is still alive, and wei wuxian once again walks with the living. ish. hes still dead. technically

now what ?

well mo xuanyu mustve been pretty desperate to unsubscribe from the reincarnation cycle just to get revenge on his family so wei wuxian hears him out ,,, and really really doesnt like the hand that mo xuanyu has been dealt with in his life so hes like welp time to tap into ye olde wuxian the helping hand. might as well bring in some justice now that hes back and better than ever !

but first wwx shldnt walk around looking like the entire cultivation world's worst nightmare so they brainstorm a new identity for him in that little shack.

they end up deciding that wwx will be a distant mo cousin. for wwx's disguise, he gave himself the birth name mo ling and the courtesy name mo shanxi. he is mo yi, courtesy name mo xuanyu's, other maternal cousin but like further down the family tree. a fourth son of a fourth son. parents dead, siblings dead. lots of fours, lots of death in the identity and the name. it's funni, cuz wwx is dead and hes a ghost and- you get the idea.

mo shanxi's an eccentric ex-rogue cultivator whose cultivating career ended early at the hands of the late core-melting hand. he has no sword because no core. hes friendly with crows because rogue cultivator things. he has a dizi because hes a traveler, a peasant, decidedly not gentry. an absolutely fool-proof disguise. no one would guess hes wei wuxian at all ! no one !

they still bust into the meeting between madam mo and the lan juniors and wwx helps mxy embarrass the entire family. they also still stay around to watch shit happen and it's during this time where wwx gives mxy practical lessons on fighting and cultivation. not demonic cultivation, mind, wwx doesnt want to damage mxy's fledgling golden core.

mxy is witness firsthand how wwx just bluescreens and takes A Minute to process seeing adult lan wangji. mxy knows that lwj is One Fine Ass Man and he, too, would undoubtedly climb lwj like a tree but wwx's reaction to lwj is just ,,, different.

hm, mxy thinks. interesting.

soon wwx snaps out of his "holy-shit-lwj" trance, grabs mxy's hand and skedaddles out of there. its funny, its camp, mxy has more questions than answers.

the entire mo family (besides mxy) is dead. the contract is complete. mxy is free.

"ykw," wwx thinks. "let's be rogue cultivators and ill teach you everything i know !" "i have absolutely nothing better to do," mxy says. "fuck it, lets go" "great ! for ur first lesson lets check out that story of a soul eating entity at dafan mountain" "what"

so ! dafan mountain. lessons going good, mxy has a good head on his shoulders. and then wwx accidentally insults his shijie's child. and then he and mxy are trapped between jc and lwj. and then they ,,, get out of it unscathed ? um

whatever, back to the lessons !

mxy was not having the best time in his life. shit got way out of hand way too quickly. he cant do anything to help in the fight so hes just trying to keep himself alive while wwx is trying to save everyone. theres too many crows and ravens yelling.

... why the fuck is wwx playing a dizi badly ?

mxy knows wwx is some kind of powerful ghost or whatever but now is not the time for a bad dizi concert ! senior wei please !!

mxy just feels really out of his depths right now as he watches everything unfold from his safe(ish) place high up a tree with a couple of wwx's creepy red-eyed crows.

he watches as the fucking ghost general answers wwx's dizi calls apparently ? (mxy may be half insane but he still knows the ghost stories they all tell about the yiling laozu and his ghost general)

he watches as wwx attempts to lead the ghost general to safety, and how his attempt is thwarted by none other than hanguang-jun himself. and then mxy is forced to watch the world's most awkward, most tense reunion in all the earth.

and then mxy sees sandu shengshou fucking whip wwx and attempt to do it a second time and he really, really cant just sit there and watch his saviour and senior be bullied.

so mxy jumps down, startles the living shit out of everyone, and proceeds to yell at them all. accuses jc of harrassment, of abuse of power, of weird kinks. wwx catches onto what mxy is doing and joins in the insanity, adding that lwj is more his type for good measure

senior wei, mxy thinks, watching lwj gaze at wwx with something in his eyes. what the actual fuck ?

if anyone asks how the hell they both ended up becoming guests at the cloud recesses, mxy will gladly tell them that it's all wwx's fault. at least mxy ended up being roomed at actual guest quarters. god knows what kind of shit is happening with wwx getting roomed in the jingshi of all places

NAME NOTES

Mò Yí (莫怡) — mo xuanyu's birthname in this au ! i like to think his mother gave him that birth name because she really wanted him to have a happy future :]

Mò Líng (莫玲) — 玲 is an onomatopoeia, referring to the sound jades make when they are hit. i like to think wwx chose this name on the spot absolutely not thinking about how a certain jade was doing lol

Mò Shànxì (莫善戲) — now this one is fun ! i took this from one of the poems in the Classic of Poetry aka Shijing aka the oldest existing collection of Chinese poetry and one of the Five Classics. it's taken from the third paragraph of the poem Qi Yu from the Odes of Wei (as in the state of Wey. unfortunately not the same wei in wwx's name. thats a diff state)

瞻彼淇奧、綠竹如簀。 有匪君子、如金如錫、如圭如璧。 寬兮綽兮、猗重較兮。 [善戲] 謔兮、不為虐兮。 Look at those recesses in the banks of the Qi, With their green bamboos, so dense together! There is our elegant and accomplished prince, - [Pure] as gold or as tin, [Soft and rich] as a sceptre of jade! How magnanimous is he and gentle! There he is in his chariot with its two high sides! Skilful is he at quips and jokes, But how does he keep from rudeness in them!

so 善戲 should translate to "good at theatrical shows" as in he's good at putting on a show ! since mo ling is essentially just a role wwx is playing and all lmao. BUT ALSO the last sentence where i took the characters describes wwx pretty well. the sentence describes the lord aka the subject of the poem as someone who is good at playing games, jokes etc. but his jokes would never be intended to harm or to be rude. so wwx :]

his disguise's courtesy name also has a nice though subtle common element w lan wangji's birth name since the zhan is thought to also be taken from the five classics uwu

[ultimateloserboy]

do you ever think about how duck is literally the worst one but he loves the other two more than anything he just doesnt show it at all. do you ever think about how red guy is unhappy doing the same shit all the time but duck is completely content with it, completely satisfied with doing the same thing as long as the other two are there and alright. even though hes rude as shit to them, as soon as theyre not acting like themselves hes horrified. do you ever think about how red guy is ducks favorite color. do you ever think about how happy he looks in the pictures with the other two, even if they arent happy themselves. do you ever think about how he doesnt even question if theyre a family, he just knows it. do you ever think about how he ran to get the first aid kit when yellow guy was hurt in jobs. or how when he saw red guy in the office he asked “what have they done to you?”. or how he left red guy all of his things in death. or how hes constantly trying to get the other two home in the family episode. or how after the fridge scene he immediately worries where yellow guy is. how even in the webseries HES the one that started to look for yellow guy after he went missing from the picnic. “maybe we should look for our friend, isnt that what friends do?”. or how its duck, despite not only being punished for it, but also being completely dazed and confused, refusing to stop looking for red guy even while he hardly remembers him. how duck literally KNOCKS OVER THE CAMERA, TEARING APART THE WORLD AS HE KNOWS IT, in an attempt to find red guy, yes, but also to escape with yellow guy.

its so strange to think about how horrible duck is to them, when without them he is no one and he loses his mind to the point of death. hes so interesting to me. so tragic and yet so hard to pity. a heart so full of love it rolls away and hides under the floorboards, a kindness hidden under six feet of cynical thinking. i miss him guys …

[sammygender]

thoughts on how the sam & dean part of the fight before sam left for stanford went !

i am addicted to thinking about precanon so thank you for this <33

i think people r generally way too optimistic about how that initial seperation between them went. dean is awful to sam about stanford even years after he left and years after he came back!! hes still very visibly angry about it in s5 which is NINE YEARS after he left in the first place and refuses to even tolerate the idea it was a good moment for sam. i cannot comprehend how people think 22 year old dean had the emotional maturity to even let sam go without a fight, nevermind be supportive about it.

like. theres this amazinggg art on here of sam hitchhiking to stanford and all the comments are like 'erm that black eye would be from JOHN actually!' (side note but it is so funny to me how spn fans decide john hit them based on implication (which i agree w... to an extent...) but dean hitting sam onscreen multiple times somehow translates to 'DEAN WOULD NEVER DO THAT'. erm. okay.) 'nooo dean would've given sam a lift!'

and like. what show are you watching. if dean would've given sam a lift he would've done it to the bus station in moody silence and then locked the doors of the impala so sam couldn't get out to catch his bus to stanford and they would've started physically fighting for the car keys and dean eventually wouldve let sam get them and sam wouldve left. or something. but it would not be some sweet brotherly moment bc that directly contradicts canon <3

i do think the worst of the fight is between sam & john - that's always what's implied in canon - and in my head dean's just standing there stonefaced maybe refusing to even talk to sam until theyre left alone somehow and he breaks. but i also think dean hits sam at some point, will always have the image in my head of sam showing up to stanford w a bloody nose and fending off questions. (internally hes like no my dad didnt do this it was my brother so its fine. <3.) theres a scene like this in one of my fics so im just drawing from that. but. like....

idk how dean/john finds out. if dean found out before john, i think dean probably wouldve run to him about it in an attempt to get sam Not To Go as much as it would be nice if he didnt, so i reckon they have to find out at about the same time. i think sam is unsure what to expect from dean, who of course (as far as we see both in flashbacks and in canon) alternates between genuine care and support and angry, desperate possessiveness. he probably hopes for the best and expects the worst and gets the worst.

there r definitely lots of different ways it could go....maybe sam tells dean and dean tells john. maybe sam tells john without telling dean at all and thats how dean finds out which totally wrecks him. maybe sam tells them both at the same time. maybe sam never tells them and they find the acceptance letter. this is why stanford fight is sooo fascinating. i feel like i could write five different versions of it and all would be possible/interesting.

but whichever way, i just dont see dean as contradicting john. he generally Doesnt Ever precanon, this is established, he admits it himself, thats why its such a huge moment when he defends sam at the end of s1.....sam going on about dean 'protecting him' is 1. more subtle and probably to do with dean being the one to shoulder most of johns emotional baggage than the heller misinterpretation of 'john hit dean but not sam and thats what this means!!!' (tho i am sure dean did genuinely Protect sam sometimes including from physical violence. of course he did. this isnt to discredit that..i just emphasise the Sometimes.). and 2. partially just classic Sam Rewriting History (u always protected me from dad, from lucifer....girl he did those things very little certainly not always. know your worth sam winchester).

so if dean gives sam a very angry lift (to a nearby bus station...there is absolutely zero fucking way hes driving him to stanford and tbh i already find this quite unlikely but possibilities r interesting) its on john's say-so or at least not disapproval. which like. sure maybe. john certainly is concerned about sam's safety even after he kicks him out, checking up on him at stanford etc, id believe that hed want to ensure sam Gets there even if the fight ended up so bad he told sam he couldnt come back. tho hes stubborn and i dont think hed say it. so maybe itd be a case of dean kind of picking up that that's what john wants and complying even though right now half of him wants to never see sam again and the other half wants to tie him to the radiator so he can never leave. sorry i am literally brainstorming fic ideas in this ask answer now.

anyway....SORRY id say long ass answer as always but this is actually INSANELY long......sorry guys im about to embark upon getting tested for adhd and maybe then my rambles will be, while not shorter in length, more cohesive? tldr fandom is wrong dean is an absolute ASS during stanford fight. obviously sam leaving devastates him and how does dean cope with devastation or perceived abandonment do we think?? hm?? he is just as angry as john for the same and different reasons. and thats really so much more interesting than him being Secretly Supportive. <3

[melancholiaenthroned]

ok ive slept on it i feel like i can talk about the ep better now... basically whats craziest to me is that if any of it was intentional it could be so good. i dont think wed ever actually get a season where the bad kids r protrayed as in the wrong, but if they were a little more self aware the ways that theyve also been overtaken by rage could be seen. gorgug especially, and especially because it was channeled through porter's mentorship, who the bad kids can conceptualize as manipulating gorgug but not the rat grinders. its interesting because esp w/o their favorite npcs this season the bad kids have rlly closed in on themselves and become a lot more codependent, seeming to constantly suspect anyone new of possibly betraying them. which in a meta way makes sense, cuz its players v brennan, but in universe it comes across as crazy paranoid and cliquey and theyre just so unaware of it that any way it could have come across as interesting comes across as frustrating instead. like a lot of what they do and say to the rat grinders comes across as straight up bullying, and they genuinely seem to derive pleasure from putting them down. which again, in a meta way makes sense, but in universe it makes u wonder WHY were meant to find the rat grinders dislike of the bad kids so horrible when the bad kids hatred is justified. even kipperlily at her worst thoughts -- those are thoughts she shared in therapy. are we meant to begrudge a 17 year old girl speaking to her therapist about her feelings? not even actions, literally just thoughts in her head? that she was again sharing, and probably couldve worked through if not for magical interference, confidentially in therapy? were meant to hate ruben, who doesnt even LIKE kipperlily either, who didnt start becoming the person the bad kids seem to hate until AFTER he died and was magically resurrected changed. why? oh because hes an enemy and this is a battle episode and hes on the field. ruben acting in what is quite literally self defense and being told "you were a waste of time" and having no idea whats going on and responding "what do you mean? youre killing my friends!" i swear to god if that insight check on buddy hadnt been a nat 1 i think we honestly would have gotten a whole different episode

[casually-slips-into-coma]

spoilers for iwtv s2e5!!!

initial thoughts throughout:

dubai armand in this ep specifically seems a lot happier than normal. very smiley and kind of excited? like more energy than usual. mans was ready to eat

this fucking turtleneck

loumand library dates

hypnotized security as one does

i like that armand likes to hunt his kills. thought it was a cool detail

made me think of when armand tells daniel to run in the book

daniel was there for gay sex the drugs were just a bonus

he barely registered the coffin. he was like ok ig

the zodiac killer lol

daniel struggling to get the tape out of the plastic lmao

some coke for the gums just in case

you were lonely louis (gagged him)

the extreme change in vibe from daniel shitting himself about louis being a vampire to him laughing along while louis complains about his ex

book quotes!!

daniel validating louis complaining about lestat. theyre just gossiping at this point

BIG time asshole

daniel making A Point and then going sorry and louis saying no,,,,,that🫵was astute🗣🗣

“can u do the fang thing again? i love that, man” hes just like me fr

dangerously unstable psyche ((clocked))

im kinda with her get off that bench brother😭 [about claudia leaving]

jacob the actor you are

ok this whole argument between louis and armand was insane and i replayed it like a million times

kinda love louis coked tf out

being called boring fucking hurts thats a wild argument

he called you a soft beige pillow suffocating him girl u gotta stand up

armand really locked on to the word fascinating

louis said lick my boots😝

gremlin sighting👀

“chop my hands off”👀👀👀👀

picking LINT❓❓off the sofa⁉️ ⁉️

armand mocking him “oh its so hard to be me, its so hard to kill humans, i can feel her feelings as i drain her, louis de point du lac, everyone i know wronged me!”

imitating each others accents

my vampire daddy groomed me into a little bitch holy fuck when they go low i go lower

THE NAME!! the name!! unuttered in our home for 23 years said over and over again until it was pounding in my brain like a hammer!!!!

assad deserves every award my man was actiiiinnggg

she didnt love you/i know

louis :(((

“can u hear her? shes calling me…” ok what if i kms

and then louis runs into the sunlight🙃

hello loml: practical effects

sidestep the big picture get the story straight first daniel said lets lock the fuck in rn we gotta focus

“you said the worst things youve ever said to me” hes just a sopping wet cat

hes fine youre fine this is fine youre all fine

finally seeing unhinged armand ive prayed for times like these

i stand by my cancelled wife btw

small detail of different memories: in louis’ version he apologizes to armand and armand says “meaningless word” and then moves on to talk about the slanted floor. in daniel’s version he remembers the dead guy and the same scene plays out except armand explains he killed the neighbor in between “meaningless word” and how the floor is slanted

vibrating eyes

LOVING how this episode is shot. all the different angles and the camerawork and the fucking MUSIC

canon that louis fucks guys and then kills them fic writers get to it

“128 boys hes brought here—“ “he said it was 5🥺”

daniel basically saying look man ill suck ur dick if u let me go

and then armand making him kneel

armand so unnerving <3

i know its kinda dumb to point out but i love small details of vamp power. specifically how armand picked up that table like it weighed nothing and when he picked up louis

love the idea of louis being like ok just put your feet in the rocks itll help

sopping wet cat armand!!!

but also he really let louis suffer for days instead of just giving him blood to ease the pain😬

lestats voice caught me off guard genuinely

interesting that armand knows where lestat is. i wonder how the show is gonna go about it. is he in the ground??

and refusing to pass along the i love you message……….theres layers here

u left me for death :((

have i atoned for my part of paris👀👀

the armand daniel bite was very do u know what it means to be loved by death

itty bitty armand fangs

need him alive as a testament to our companionship wtf are we even talking about anymore

arun/maitre😵‍💫

the fucking sunglasses im pissing😭😭

he got that shit on tho

welcome back trinity from the matrix

also just the fact that armand came back like yum i had so much fun on that hunt😁 anyway what are you two up to😇☺️

and louis and daniel just had a harrowing 2 hours trying to recover lost memories and coming to the realization that theyve been mega gaslit for decades

armand saying exactly what louis told daniel word for word

a hunch🫢

i love this show

im so excited for next weeks episode this story is unfolding so beautifully. im even more curious now about why and how this second interview is happening. ((also am very confused/curious about what looks like a protest in the promo??))

[shreddeddescent]

OKAY!!!!

okay. so. i want to share this for anyone who is like.... cool about this worst case scenario bullshit i keep talking about. i think im writing it kinda good or at least in a compelling way, and honestlyyyy i just wanna post shit to be like hey. im having fun with it, and i think its really interesting to see how it all turns out. i think its been fun every other time ive posted about it, you guys seem to like it, but this is the part that will come off the most weird. if you dont know, ive tagged all previous things in this timeline as #wcs (worst case scenario)

so i think yall get this is like. the fucked up timeline. but like that its the going to be okay timeline too.

to explain more about it if you dont know, lets just say like. shredder did the fucked up thing he wanted. i think ive made that clear in previous posts about this. shredders dead now. they had to deal with the consequences of what he did to them. if the implications of that squick you out its totally fine. if youre not sure what i mean, im sorry. you DO NOT need to read further. but theres nothing specific about it here, this is just alllll the result of that. the results will be made clear by the end.

they went to big mama's hotel to get help from her with said consequences. its been dealt with. theyre now just recovering, being normal kids, still going to therapy. they're coping. but big mama's help always comes with a cost, but they havent figured out what that cost was yet.

so like. its been fun to explore in writing. IF YOURE WILLING to hear me out about all the fucked up shit turning out okay, feel free to read further. even if it sounds weird. i hope everyone can just be like.... respectful.

this doesnt have to be canon to the rest of my au, but if youve enjoyed it when ive talked about it....this is a big reveal shit for that timeline. if you are cool about everything im implying so far.

if youre not, again, you dont have to read forward. this isnt mature rated or anything, its just the implications of what the characters have been through are dark.

but the characters are going to be okay. and this right here is the reason they will be.

okay? okay. please be fucking nice.

missing context would be: raph saw someone in their room the night before, but he thinks he made it up. donnie also saw what he thinks was a ghost.

they went out for breakfast, and raph saw a turtle yokai he couldnt help but chase to the elevator who said her name was jennika, but she really wouldnt look him in the eye. and then they all discussed whether shredder had another experiment done before they existed.

questioning their origins, donnie and mikey scout the pool for recon as leo and raph come back from their joint therapy session with big mama.

--

The elevator door opened and they stepped out into the pool area. It seemed to be a rooftop pool, but the elevator had felt like it was going down. The view was the highest they’d seen, and yet the air was warmer than it had been in their room. And there was no wind, unlike their room.

They looked around and spotted their brothers, Donnie was sitting on the edge of the pool with his feet in, looking at his phone, while Mikey was doing laps.

Leo grabbed Raph’s arm and the two of them wandered over.

“Hey guys.” He said. “How’s the mission going?”

Donnie looked up and looked around. “No other turtles spotted here.”

Mikey jumped out of the water with a splash. “Yeah, just old people really. I don’t think they liked us.”

“You were doing cannonballs, that's why.”

Raph wandered over to the edge of the roof, resting his hands on the railing and staring out at the city. It was so high. Higher than fathers tower was. In fact he could see Foot Tower in the distance, dwarfed by this view.

He was above it. He was beyond it. But god were they ever high.

He felt Leo walk up behind him. “I hate this view.”

He sighed and nodded. “I’m surprised I don’t feel sick. I hate heights.”

He felt him step beside him and press his shoulder against his. “I know what you mean… it’s like it’s not a real height. There’s none of that wind whipping in your face. Like a big realistic dome with a view.”

Raph nodded, squinting out at the view. “The feeling of the window was freezing.. like ice. And here there’s no wind at all.”

“Me and Slash got Big Mama to tell us there’s some kind of cross dimensional portals between the floors.. that there’s protection magic around the floors. I wonder if something broke the one by our window.”

Raph tapped his fingers against the railing.

“Maybe…”

“You okay..?”

He looked up at him nervously.

“I’m… scared, honestly.. and I’m not sure why.”

Leo smiled down at him. “We’re gonna be okay. We got this, partner.” He held out his fist for a bump.

Raph ignored it to give him a tight hug.

Leo rubbed his back lightly and looked back over at the twins.

“Should we get the raisins out of here? Or do you want more recon?”

Raph sighed and let go. “I think I’d like to stay out of the room for a while. Try and relax.”

“Didn’t bring a bathing suit. Mikeys got those shorts, but you’re wearing jeans.”

Raph shook his head and looked around at what other yokai were wearing. Some were in bathing suits, others looked more naked from what he could tell.

He wasn’t sure if he was comfortable being naked though, shell or not.

“Maybe I’ll just sit.” He said as he spotted a lounge chair to the side.

Leo walked past him to go talk to the twins again and he watched them. He felt like a mom again. Out with her kids. At least he didn’t look like Splinter this time. Bathrobe and all.

It was about noon and the sun was shining, so it was getting busier the longer they stayed out here. But he just sat in the warm sun and let himself feel calm, he watched Mikey try and splash Donnie to coax him in, watched Leo strip down to his sweatpants to wrestle with their baby brother in the pool.

At some point Donnie wandered over to hand him his electronics and he smiled at him.

“You wanna get in?” Raph asked him, surprised.

He shrugged. “Might as well live in the moment for once. It is a nice day, and we’re not too weird here.”

“You want me to help you with your braces?”

“Nah, I’ll need them. I don’t care if they get wet.” He pulled his hoodie off and Raph stared at him. He never went anywhere without something on his chest.

He was surprised how weird it felt to see him like that in public. Donnie was somewhat round like Raph, but had more masculine features, for a turtle. But no muscle definition. Even in the cage he’d been wearing his hoodie. But he was feeling more free right now. Maybe this place was good for them.

Donnie pointed at his phone and headphones.

“If you don’t wanna join, you can like... Read or listen to music. There’s free wifi here.”

Raph hummed and put the headphones on.

“Thanks Donnie…”

He shrugged and made his way into the pool to try doing laps. Which for him was holding the edge the whole time.

Raph eyed the phone and looked through his music. Not much he recognized. He found Queen though, and decided to play that and close his eyes. Letting himself be a turtle basking in the sunlight for about 20 minutes.

He sensed someone sit near him and opened his eyes.

A tall furry lion Yokai was in his sunlight, looking down at him.

And suddenly he felt uncomfortable.

They seemed to be talking to him so he pulled the headphones off.

“Huh?”

“I said kinda a weird look for the pool. The jeans.”

Raph looked down at himself and back up.

“Yeah. Wasn’t planning on coming to the pool.”

He gestured over to his brothers with his head.

“Those your kids?”

Raph furrowed his brows and looked over at his brothers. They seemed to be having fun splashing each other.

“Kinda, yeah?”

“Huh. That one your… husband?”

Raph felt his face flush as he looked over at Leo.

“No, that’s my brother.”

He raised his brows and smirked. “So you’re a single mom?”

‘Female female female!’

His body felt cold despite the heat from the sun.

“Sorry, bet they dragged you out here without a bathing suit. Shame, you look like you’ve got a good figure…”

‘You’re going to get assaulted again!’

His heart was pounding in his chest. He looked in Leo’s direction desperately, needing someone to help him.

“Hey kid.” A deep familiar voice behind him said as he felt a hand on his shoulder.

The lion looked over him nervously.

Raph watched as the backside of a tall muscular turtle stepped into view, shielding him from the Lion’s gaze. They were wearing flowery swim trunks.

“That’s my son you’re talking to. He’s 17. Do I need to call security?” The voice said angrily. “Or are you gonna fuck off?”

Raph tried to quiet his beating heart. He felt like he might throw up. He felt like Slash might jump out.

And yet… This turtle made him feel safe.

“U-uh no problem man! My bad!” The lion quickly rose up and left. And the turtle took the chair and sat down beside him.

Raph looked at him nervously.

Broad shouldered and maybe 30 years old, his skin was a dull light green, his plastron wide and pointier than Raph had ever seen. Thick legs and strong arms. He looked tired but smiled warmly at him with wide, kind eyes.

“Are you okay?”

Raph stared at him nervously, pressing his hand to his chest.

“I-I might be having a panic attack…” he said softly.

The turtle reached out to offer his hand.

“You want me to count for breathing?”

Raph nodded quickly, taking his hand.

“In one two three four… out one two three four...”

He closed his eyes and followed the turtle's instructions. After a few minutes he felt okay again and stared down at the hand in his.

Two fingers. Their hands were so similar, but his were much larger.

He looked up at his face. He’d seen those eyes.

In the dark.

“It’s.. it’s you.”

He grunted softly in affirmation.

“You keep trying to get into trouble.”

Raph stared at him hard. He wanted to look away but he was terrified the man would disappear.

“What.. What's your name?”

“Kirby.”

“W-why are you following me? Why were you…”

“I just said you keep getting into trouble.”

Raph felt his eyes water as he stared at him.

“I-I’m not trying to, I thought I could just… be out in public, but I guess I’m too much of a s-slut…”

Kirby winced and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and holding Raph's hand in both of his, staring at him so kindly.

“You’re not. People always want to take advantage of you. I’m sorry, it’s not fair.”

“W-why do you know that..? W-who are you..?”

He shook his head. “Just someone who cares.”

“D-do you know Jennika..?”

He laughed. A familiar laugh. “Yeah. We know each other.”

“Why… why did she cry when she looked at me?”

He shrugged. “She’s got complicated feelings. Hard to explain.”

“I-I’m not scared of you. I should be, I don’t know you…”

“You kinda know me though.” He said, a weird glint in his eye.

Raph grunted and stared at him frustrated. “Why are you so vague and annoying?”

He laughed and shook his head. “I don’t know. Ah. Leo’s noticed. You should be fine now.” He pulled away from his grasped hand.

“Hey!” They heard Leo yell from the edge of the pool.

Raph didn’t turn. He watched Kirby bolt up and give him a salute before disappearing into the crowd, he presumed to the elevator.

Raph just stared blankly at the space he’d been.

Leo sat in front of him, dripping wet and waving his hand in front of his face.

“Are you okay?! Did he hurt you?!”

Raph looked up at him and shook his head slowly. “No… h-he… uh, saved me..? There was.. a guy trying to…” he closed his eyes and winced. “He saved me.” He looked back at Leo, who looked worried.

“What did he say? Did you get anything out of him?”

Raph rolled onto his back and stared at the pool.

“His name’s Kirby. He says I keep getting into trouble. He pretended he was my dad to make a guy leave… I.. I felt really safe.”

Leo groaned and lay back on the chair. “What the hell is going on…?”

“I-I didn’t want him to leave..” he whispered and held himself. His heart hurt.

Leo looked at him sadly. “Raph..?”

“I-I knew him… h-he said I knew him…”

Leo frowned and rubbed his neck. “Maybe it’s like.. You said he pretended to be your dad. Maybe it’s not pretend. Maybe he’s our real dad. Maybe he’s our dad, and Jennika’s our mom and that’s where we really came from.”

Raph looked up at him. “Jennika wasn’t female… she.. she had a plastron like you, not me. Her tail was long. A-and dad.. dad was so clear our human stuff is his… They couldn’t have made us.”

He sighed. “Let’s just imagine we get to come from somewhere better though, yeah..?”

He looked up at him sadly and nodded.

“O-okay…”

“Do you want to go back to the room..? Cuz we can go…”

He looked over at the twins and saw they were just splashing each other. It looked fun.

“I.. I wanna join, but…” he looked down at himself. He couldn’t swim in these jeans. It was naked or nothing. And he couldn’t do naked.

Leo smiled and bumped his shoulder.

“Trade pants. These are fine.”

Raph blinked and shook his head.

“Then you’ll be in wet jeans…”

“Eh, it’ll dry.” He picked up a rolled towel from a rack nearby and held it up in front of Raph as a privacy barrier.

“C'mon, you go have fun for a minute.”

He groaned and relented, unzipping his jeans and pulling them off. Leo dropped the towel on his lap for privacy and quickly undid his wet sweatpants and passed them to him. Raph put them on, they were a little snug and too long but it was stretchier than the jeans. Leo put the jeans on and smiled.

“See? Easy. I’ll watch the stuff, you go swim.”

Raph eyed him nervously and unzipped his hoodie.

He wondered if Yokai had weird gender rules even without nipples.

He tried not to let it bother him, Leo was being nice and it would be a waste to make him do all that and then just chicken out.

He tossed the hoodie on the pile and decided to jump in.

He let himself float on his stomach for a while, feeling the refreshing water and the sun on his back. He probably looked like a corpse.

He felt someone jump on him and whipped around, seeing Mikey had decided to clamber on his back.

“Raph’s here!” He cheered and hugged him.

Raph laughed a little and shoved him off. “Careful, I’m not that strong a swimmer.”

He looked around. Leo waved at him from the lounge chair.

Someone splashed him and he turned, seeing Donnie holding on to the side of the pool.

Raph beamed. “Oh? We’re doing a splash off now?”

Donnie yelped and started swimming away.

Raph laughed and chased after him, Mikey was cheering from the center of the pool.

“You can escape Donnie! Kick those legs!”

Raph caught up and waved his arm at him, causing a big splash to hit him in the face.

“Nooooo!” He cried dramatically and pretended to sink.

Raph laughed and dove under water, grabbing him around his middle and standing up straight in the shallow end to carry him over his shoulder.

“I caught you!”

Donnie shrieked and laughed, pounding on the back of his shell. “Stoooop!”

“I’ll save you!” Mikey rammed into Raph who dramatically threw Donnie into the deep end.”

And then Donnie didn’t come back up for too long.

“Shit.” Raph dove down and saw him sinking, he grabbed his arm and swam up, dragging him back to the shallow end of the pool and stood holding him up.

He was sputtering and struggling to breathe.

Raph held him against his chest and climbed out of the pool with him and patted him on his back.

“Cough it up, you’re okay.” Raph tried. He was trying not to freak out and placed him on the ground to sit.

He was still wheezing

Someone touched his shoulder and he turned to see a sweet turtle face smiling sadly at him. “I can help.” She said as she pushed him out of the way and waved her hand in front of Donnie’s chest.

She was gaunt. Her arms and knees were wrapped in some kind of bandages, and she was wearing a strange one piece swimsuit on top that fit around her shell. The shell looked too big for her body, slightly off center.

She waved her two fingered hand from chest up to his nose, and a floating bubble of water came out of Donnie’s mouth and then dissipated on the ground.

Donnie stared at her in awe. “W-water bending?” He was panting and taking croaky breaths.

She laughed a little and smiled, confused.

“I don’t know what that means. Simple magic. Are you okay?”

Donnie was clapping himself on the plastron, trying to breathe without croaking. She rubbed his shoulder.

Raph looked between them. Their skin was the same deep blue green. She looked like she could be his older sister.

“I-I think I’m okay…” he glared up at Raph. “Why would you throw me in the deep end?!”

He kept staring at the woman.

She turned to look at him and gave him a sad smile. “His knees aren’t strong enough to keep himself afloat. Maybe with some practice.”

He kept staring at her. She was his height, and much thinner. But she had the same flat plastron and short tail.

“…how do you know that?” He asked.

She laughed sadly and looked down at her own limbs. “Experience.”

Raph looked down and realized that her feet weren’t actually on the ground. She was hovering 2 inches above it.

Donnie seemed to follow his gaze and his eyes went wide.

“Are.. you the ghost?” He asked quietly.

She turned to look down at him and rolled her eyes. “Do I look like a ghost? I’m quite corporeal.”

Donnie looked up at her frustratedly. “You know what I’m talking about.”

She tapped her chin in thought. “Do I?”

He groaned.

Raph put his hand on her arm gently.

“I.. I know you…” he said quietly.

She turned to look back at him with sad eyes.

“We’ve never met. I’m Venus.”

“I’ve… never met another female turtle…” he couldn’t help but say.

She tilted her head sadly. “No.. I guess you haven’t.”

“I-I’m sorry…” he said suddenly.

He didn’t know why he was sorry.

She laughed a little. “You don’t have to be sorry, it’s not bad to be female.” Then her eyes got sad. “But I guess that’s to be expected…”

Donnie shot up and stepped between them.

“How are you floating? Is that like something you were born with or can you learn? Does it help with weight distribution? Is that why you do it? If I could do that I bet it would help. Oh but then you wouldn’t be exercising your knees…”

She blinked and sighed playfully, placing a hand on her hip. “You are too inquisitive.”

Raph stared between them. They had the same snout. The same smug look on their faces.

“Venus…” he said softly.

She turned to look at him. She saw something in his eye and winced, looking away.

“Anyway, I’m glad you’re okay, kid. Don’t go swimming where you can’t stand up, and keep a brother with you at all times in the water!” She saluted and seemed to float away.

Raph wanted to chase her but he just… let her go.

Donnie groaned and looked at him funny. “She could have taught me magic! Bones don’t hurt magic!”

Raph looked down at him sadly, he knew there were tears in his eyes and Donnie’s expression confirmed it.

“Raph what’s wrong..?”

“Sh-she looked just like you…”

He scoffed and folded his arms. “Hardly. She was thin and agile.”

He shook his head and reached out to touch Donnie’s snout. “She had your snout.. your skin.”

Donnie was looking more nervous as Raph looked at him. He pushed Raph’s hand off him. “She can’t have been my mother. Shredder would have seen her as useless damaged goods. Maybe there’s just.. turtle yokai out there who come in such variety that she somewhat looked like me.”

Raph rubbed his arm. He was right, if she was chronically in pain like Donnie, and small and female like Raph… she would have been dead to their father.

“You’re not sure though…” Raph said. Donnie was making a face.

He sighed. “Hereditary illnesses are a thing, I suppose. But I don’t think she was old enough… unless she was… you know, younger than us when it happened.”

“Which Shredder would never have done, obviously..” Raph rolled his eyes and hugged his arms, turning away.

“Sorry…” Donnie mumbled.

He sighed and looked over. “I’m sorry I threw you in the deep end, I wasn’t thinking about that. I was thinking ‘don’t let him crack his head’ more than I was thinking ‘he needs to hold on to the edge to stay up’.”

Donnie shrugged and leaned against him. “I get it. We’re not used to pools and stuff. Thanks for jumping in after me.”

Raph smiled and rubbed his back. “I mean it would be shitty of me to let you drown don’t you think?”

Donnie grunted and nodded. “Extremely shitty cuz it would have been your fault yeah. Still. Thank you.”

“Are you as done with pool time as I am?”

“Yeeees..” He whined. “Need to recharge.”

Raph laughed and nodded, giving his head a kiss. “Okay.”

They wandered back over to Leo and towelled themselves off, Leo stared up at them questioningly. “How did the recon go? I hope that was what the FAKE drowning was?”

Donnie rolled his eyes as he was letting Raph rub his back dry so he could put his hoodie back on.

“Unfortunately that was a real almost drowning. I am fine, thank you for asking.”

Leo winced and stood up. “Shit, sorry. Are you okay?”

“Fine. She literally water bended the pool water out of my throat. And she was FLOATING! Did you see that?” He couldn’t contain his excitement.

Raph pat his shoulder and decided he should collect Mikey while Donnie got him up to speed.

He turned to the pool and didn’t see him.

Mama turtle went in overdrive.

“Mikey?” He called out, darting between people in the crowd.

The more he looked the more worried he got.

‘Idiot, you almost kill ONE brother and LOSE the other?’

He groaned and smacked his head. “Shut up Slash.”

That was new but he couldn’t blame him.

He did a lap around the pool and saw the backside of a turtle behind the bar to the side. He rushed over and realized this turtle was bigger than him.

“Jennika.” He breathed.

She turned in surprise and he could see Mikey behind her, smiling up at him.

“Oh, hi Raph!”

He whimpered and rushed forward, ignoring her to grab him around his shoulders.

“Where did you go! I was worried!”

He grabbed his arms and pushed him back.

“I’m fine! I made a friend, see?” He held his hand out to Jennika, who was standing awkwardly beside them. She was wearing a big white t shirt and baggy trunks.

“Sorry, you… guys were distracted and I wanted to make sure he was safe somewhere…” she barely looked at him.

That hurt for some reason.

“Thanks…” he stood back up, keeping his hand on Mikey’s shoulder to make sure he knew where he was. “I.. sorry, I shouldn’t.. assume things but. You’re… not female like me, are you..?”

She blinked and shook her head. “Uh… no. I used to be… sad. About that.”

A new emotion came over him and he gave her a look of awe.

“Are you… trans..?”

She gave him a surprised look. “Is that… okay?”

Raph could feel his eyes water but he smiled big. “I… I’ve never met a.. I mean, you’re a turtle like me, and you’re.. trans too! A-and that.. makes me happy, I-I don’t know.. sorry, I’m not… not trying to be weird.”

She smiled and shook her head, her eyes were wet too.

“No, it’s not weird, I really get it…” she rubbed her arm. “I didn’t know uh…” she coughed and shook her head. “No, I guess I’d always hoped you were. I didn’t understand myself.”

Raph was confused by her words but kept smiling at her.

“You’re beautiful.” He told her. He didn’t know why he felt the need to tell her that. It was overwhelming seeing someone like him out in the world.

She stared at him with a shocked smile. Tears were rolling down her cheeks.

“O-oh…” she sniffed and then laughed, rubbing her eyes. “F-fuck, can I hug you? Th-this is a lot but..”

Raph reached in instantly to wrap his arms around her. He just wanted to make her feel as happy as he felt seeing her. She was taller than him and thicker up top, but she was just a beautiful turtle girl to him.

She seemed to be crying above him as she held him back.

Mikey wandered over and smiled up at her. “See, she’s a friend Raph!”

The two of them parted and Jennika got down on her knee to idly punch his shoulder.

“You’re a good judge of character, but you still shouldn’t run off with people. Not here. There’s bad guys here. Only trust turtles, got that little man?”

He made a determined face and nodded. “Got it.”

Jennika then leaned in to hug Mikey. It looked like a bone crushing hug. Mikey just took it and tried to hug her back just as strongly.

Raph looked between them. They looked.. so similar. She looked like if Mikey had been well loved as a child and grown up strong.

The idea was making him cry again.

“Jennika!” They heard a voice call out.

Raph looked over and saw Kirby again. He was standing by the elevator and waving her over, he looked frustrated to see Raph again, and maybe a little sad.

Jennika looked up and wiped her eyes. “Shit. That’s my brother, he’s gonna give me a talking to…” She muttered slightly annoyed.

Raphs eyes snapped up at her. “Kirby’s your brother?”

She winced and rubbed her neck. “Uh, it’s been nice talking!”

She shuffled away.

Raph was shaking suddenly.

“W-wait!” He started to run but they both looked at him inside the elevator with a sorrowful look and then disappeared.

And he dropped to his knees.

Mikey put his hands on his shoulders. “Raph? What’s wrong? Is it the voices again?”

But his head was silent, save for a ringing in his ears. He stared at the elevator blankly. It opened again and they weren’t there anymore.

He wasn’t sure how long he was staring, he knew Donnie and Leo had wandered up holding all of their stuff, and it took the three of them to lift him off the ground.

“What happened, Raph?” Leo asked gently as they walked his body towards the elevator.

He just stared inside. He hoped to god they’d just reappear and let him ask the burning question on his mind.

He couldn’t say this out loud until he knew.

The elevator door closed and it was just him and his brothers again.

‘You’re right.’

He whipped his head around to look, but realized the voice was Slash again.

“W-what do you mean I’m right?!”

His brothers looked at him funny but he paid them no mind.

‘You know who they are. And you’re right. Big Mama told me the first time you let me out, she wasn’t gonna crush the eggs. She said we’d never see them again. She lied.’

“B-but that makes no sense Slash! Th-they’re too old! I-it’s been a week!”

‘I don’t know. But you know that’s who they are.’

Raph slammed his head against the wall and shook it hard.

“N-no!”

Leo grabbed his shoulder and looked him in the eye. “Raph. Talk to me. What happened?”

Raph looked around the elevator in a panic. Mikey and Donnie looked scared of him, scared of what was happening.

“I-I… not here… I-in the room..”

He didn’t want anyone's secret eyes on him right now. He couldn’t trust Big Mama. Leo was right. Why had they bothered to talk to her at all today? They were better off on their own!

The door opened on their floor and they quickly rushed back inside their freshly cleaned room. Raph checked every room, every cranny. The windows were closed and no one was hiding in the corners.

After his panicked rushing he sat on the freshly cleaned sofa and tried to calm his breathing.

His brothers all stood in front of him in the conversation pit. None of them wanted him out of sight.

“Raph.” Leo said sternly. He looked up and saw them all staring at him with worried eyes.

He looked between them. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “It won’t make sense. But nothing here does. There’s.. magic and portals and dimensional travel…”

“At this point no theory is too out there.” Donnie said.

He opened his eyes and looked at them all seriously.

“They’re our kids.”

[chaoticprussia]

The people are wonder, what are your 4 favorite countryhumans ships?

OKAY SO this is actually really hard. so im gonna actually do 8. but split in two. so 4 for romantic ships and 4 for platonic ships. because the list changes depending on the context.

romantic

1. soviet/third reich - THESE TWO MAKE ME INSANE OKAY their dynamic drives me mad. i have so many thoughts on these two its crazy. if i actually tried to type out my thoughts i would never get this post out.

2. russia/germany - sorry for being basic. but the fandom is right. rusger goes hard as fuck. theyre literally soul linked or some shit. their families are forever intertwined. it makes me sick. love them.

3. germany/poland - ANOTHER GERMANY SHIP in my defense hes like the best character. and gerpol goes so hard. theyre so interesting. poland hates him so much for what his family has done to him but germany is just so… different. so fragile. so weak. hes not like them hes so much more. god they are so interesting.

4. soviet/america - OKAY THIS WAS A HARD PICK but i have a soft spot for sovame. its like rusame but 10x better. do you see the vision. AAAARUGHH ENEMIES TO RIVALS TO LOVERS COLD WAR ADDITION WHEN??????? I LOVE GAY PEOPLE!!!!!!!! RIPS MY SHIRT APART WITH MY BARE HANDS RRRAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

platonic

1. CANADA/AMERICA CANAME AMERICAN - I FUCKING LOVE TGEM SO FUCKING MUSH THEIY MAKE ME NAUSIOS THEYRE TGW BROTHWRS EVER FUUUUCK i fucking love america and canadas dynamic. they make me so so very ill. i love them dearly. brothers… punches the floor in agony. AAAAARRUGHHHH

2. germany/austria - this ones a given. theyre practically attached at the hip half the time. austria cares so deeply for germany its crazy. he feels like its his moral obligation to make sure germany doesnt lose himself in his own head. they make me ill. aaaugh ger is his beloved……

3. america/mexico - worlds worst roommates. they hate each other but in the way you hate your best friend. they annoy the fuck out of each other but mexico always makes sure to make extra food for ame. and ame always indulges in mexicos dumb interest of the week. and they were roommates.

4. bangladesh/nepal - i have no idea what the fuck is going on with them but MAN i have feelings. theyre besties okay? normal guy and his weirdass mountain monster friend. best friends.

I HAVE SO MANY MORE SHIP I LOVE I CANT PICK MAN if you asked me my favorites tomorrow i guarantee the list would change. im a multishipper at heart. i love putting characters in a box together and shaking them around. FUCK PICKING MY TOP ONES IS SO HAAAARDDD

except for caname. that one will forever be my top favorite platonic ship. i love them dearly. brothers.

[roseworth]

You are both an Arrowfamily and Jason Todd fan account so I thought you would be the best person to ask this but: What do you think the Arrowfamily members opinion on Jason are?

ooooh i love this question.. i think a lot of people jump straight to "they would hate him" because of his fight with mia but!!! i don't think thats entirely true!!!!! some of them would hate him but not all of them </3 i feel like the people that claim they would all hate him have a fundamental misunderstanding of the arrows and what they stand for, not to mention deliberately misconstruing what the the jason & mia fight actually was and pretending it was a lot worse than what actually happened. but thats just my opinion

ollie absolutely would hate him though lmao. he would never get over the fact that jason kidnapped, fought, & tried to blow up his daughter. no forgiveness ever. if jason HADNT fought mia though i think ollie would like him or at the very least tolerate him. ollie very clearly has no issue with murdering bad guys (as seen in ga88) and would be completely on board with anyone who goes out of his way to fuck with batman constantly <3 also in my humble opinion ollie shouldve been a cosmic mistake in countdown due to him coming back to life because parallax put him back together, which would have been hilarious and would absolutely have ended in them getting along (until jason goes through like his fifth breakdown in that book, because he would absolutely lash out at ollie after watching that one version of bruce die. but thats a whole separate tangent)

dinah also would hate him for trying to kill mia, but probably not as intensely as ollie. but even without that issue i dont think dinah would like him, mostly because hes the worst and i dont think dinah would have the patience to put up with him. she wouldnt have a huge problem with the killing (she wouldnt NOT have a problem with it but i really dont think it would be an unforgivable issue for her), but she would just think hes kind of an asshole about it and she wouldnt like him at all. i also think theres a panel somewhere where jason says that dinah told him she hates him personally?? idk ive only seen screenshots of it but i think its funny so im incorporating it into my belief system

with roy... i feel like there are so many people that see rhato and swing to the opposite side of the pendulum and say that roy would hate jason but i dont think thats true at all. im a rhato hater because that is Not Roy so we're disregarding that, but i still think they would get along tbh! given that roy is deeply in love with a serial killer i think that the people who say he would hate jason are misunderstanding who roy is. i think when theyre both in character they actually have personalities that would mesh well together and they COULD get along really well. i dont see roy having a Big Problem with jason killing people (he would try to stop him from doing it but murder wouldnt be a dealbreaker for roy) so i think its fair to say they would actually get along!!! but i bitch and complain every time they show up in the same panel because now the damage has been done from rhato so i dont want them to interact in canon. only in the secret world in my head. in regards to jason fighting mia, i dont know how to say it but,,, i dont think roy would have a huge issue with it. he certainly wouldnt be happy about it but also he wasnt there so i feel like all he would know about it was that jason kidnapped mia one time but mia was fine. honestly i think that he would be more interested in brothers in blood bc dick would def mention that jason murdered people in a nightwing costume then turned into a tentacle monster and tried to eat someone but dick forgave him anyway. and once he hears that suddenly the mia thing seems inconsequential in comparison

with connor... i cant lie im a little biased because connor is a member of my dream outlaws team but i really think they would at least kind of get along! connor is not the type of person to hold a grudge at all so once mia forgives him (which ill get into in a sec) connor wouldnt have a problem with him. he WOULD have a problem with jason killing people but he's close with eddie so clearly he doesnt have that much of an issue with working with people who have killed before as long as they dont kill in front of him. and i think that jason has a healthy respect for anyone who can beat him in a fight and because of that he would not kill anyone when hes around connor. i also think that connor and jason would never fight because connor would never throw the first punch and jason would never start a fight that he knows he cant win (but thats once again a whole separate tangent). basically i dont think they'd be besties or anything, i dont think theres a world where they'd ever even consider themselves friends. but i do think they'd get along well enough to not hate each other

okay now finally mia. kind of a controversial take but i really think she'd forgive him for kidnapping her! she absolutely would not forgive him IMMEDIATELY because it fucked her up so she would be pissed about it for a while, but also? i think she completely understood what he was trying to do. he wasnt really hurting her specifically (like yeah he hurt her but he made it a fair fight and he wasnt beating down on her or anything. she also hit him so it evens out) and he was actually trying to talk TO her and relate to her. and it was working!!! he didnt force her to do anything except fight (in a fight where he untied her and gave her her weapons), so once she got some distance from the event i think she'd forgive him. it would take a while for her to actually forgive him enough for them to actually get along, but i genuinely think they would. theyre extremely similar people and i think they would really be good friends if given the chance, but it would take a looooong time for mia to be comfortable enough to be around him enough to consider him a friend since the fight definitely fucked her up. but it is possible for them to eventually be close, and i think they could be really good friends

honorable mentions: - i dont know emiko well enough to know for sure (i havent read new52 or rebirth green arrow so i havent read much with her </3) but from what i know i think they would get along - lian would have no opinion of him whatsoever. at most she sees him as her uncle's brother. i truly dont think she'd care enough about him to form a positive or negative opinion about him - i dont like sienna so i dont want to acknowledge her but for the sake of the post. she doesnt like jason because dinah doesnt like jason and she says "i hate everyone that black canary hates <3" - cissie is not a member of the arrowfamily but she wouldnt like him because she absolutely would have an issue with any murderous vigilante given that she almost killed someone one time and had a huge breakdown, so anyone that kills people for the Greater Good and continues to do so would not sit right with her - i have absolutely no basis for this but shado would hate him for no reason. no specific beef with him about his morals or his actions, she just wouldnt like his vibes. sorry to talk about rose (no im not) but she would see rose hanging out with jason and go "im so happy for you and your ugly fucking boyfriend im serious" - eddie and jason would get along like a housefire. there is not a doubt in my mind that they would bond instantly (ok not instantly because they both hate everyone and would probably start with trying fight each other. THEN they would bond) and it would be catastrophic for everyone involved 🫶

ok i think thats everyone. or at least everyone that matters. never forget that all my opinions are 100% correct at all times

[thatneoncrisis]

oh captain my captain, I've read maybe ten TLT fics in all my time here so I'm not necessarily familiar with the common fandom takes. If you haven't already, would you mind elaborating on them? I'd like to know more about the history that prompted you to write your latest fic. please and thank you, I'm still reeling from the update today and I think I need to hear like. all of your thoughts ever about writing it

GUH. christ. idk its like a lot of things, its a year and a half of fucking around on ao3 and getting annoyed in a way i am only susceptible to because im fucking Online. if i get too specific it starts calling people out by name which i want to avoid so keeping it super broad:

the way gideon is written wrt being a trans butch of color

connected to that point like, the insane amount of rizz she has. god its so funny. to me

the way fics have like an interesting premise but run at a breakneck pace to get to the kissing and then it just ends. nooo the world was so cool go back nooooooo

how a lot of stories do this thing where they want ianthe to be a shitty ex girlfriend/half hearted love interest but they cant commit to her being genuinely awful or treat her like a person with feelings so it accidentally reads like her worst crime was being uncommunicative and bad at sex and unfunny, because the audience is already primed to hate her so were just like yeah this tracks

the sixth mommying harrow to an unbearable degree, like they treat her the way they treated nona in canon, this also extends to them wingmanning her

the like. paradox of wanting genuine conflict between harrow and gideon but also retaining their close banter. this is a hard thing to do if theyre like MEETING in a fic for the first time. theres rarely a reason for them to hate each other with such intensity and thus it fizzles out like immediately. i didnt even really bother with this i just did an immediate inexplicable closeness that is then undercut when harrow snaps out of it by going back to how she generally is

wrt harrows relationship with her faith this is less something im upset about and more something i rarely seen done in a way that interests me as an individual. shes catholic Ish, it doesnt really matter re her day to day outside of her childhood or maybe her job, she might pray sometimes or allude to long since conquered internalized homophobia

and in a similar vein like the very. Correct way people talk. its all very precise terminology to describe their sexuality or gender or a diagnosis they got and are actively working on. nobody is a faggot or transsexual or a girlboy or a thing they dont have a word for but know exists

again im saying this as often as i can. if youve done any of this cool. genuinely. keep doing it i cant stop you. its more about how often i see it just compound in on itself over and over, its the vast majority of fics that do at least one of these things. its a personal problem about wanting more from something that doesnt want to be more, and i cant make it more, because its not mine and wasnt made for me

[the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see]

what is this jean/Jeremy/Kevin thing it looks interesting and the art is cool

oh boy oh boy!!!!!!!! i am absolutely going through it anon. so basically there is this book series called all for the game by nora sakavic that you should totally read (the first book is called the foxhole court -- but please check out a list of trigger warnings for it because it is very heavy and deals with a lot of serious and painful topics. i myself have had to disconnect for some of the scenes and come back when i was ready; its completely okay to do so, or to not read the books at all if its uncomfortable). its about gay athletes, guys just going through the absolute worst, the yakuza, fucked up families, a running game of how pathetic can you get answered in 15 different ways by each person, fucked up relationships, all not-so-neatly packaged into a completely made up fictional sport. (its funny because i am NOT a sports person and barely even understand cricket even though i watch it all the time, but i know the rules of exy forwards, backwards, and inside out. its that serious.)

i also need to warn you that the first book is slow. the second book is also kind of slow. i personally didnt have any trouble with it because im more of a character reader and aftg had PLENTYYY to keep me busy, but i think its a fair warning if youre sensitive to pace. however. the payoff is so incredibly worth it. its an amazing read with obsession-worthy characters, detailed and balanced plot beats, flowing and natural dialogue, very creative sports , and the relationships will make you want to reread it twenty thousand times. the romance is also the slowest burn to ever burn. if youre going in for romance at the start, you Will Not Get what you want -- but you will get it. i think we as a fandom focus on the romances a lot (im new so dont take my word for it) but its 1) because we're tumblr dont come and 2) because the romances and relationships are incredibly interesting to see through the lens of the books and vice versa. what i really love most (and youll see this in the ec doc) is that it feels like each and every choice was deliberately made by the author to make the book. like. down to the ice cream flavor they get at one point. especially with the sunshine court, i feel like i can see exactly where she made a choice and what mightve happened if that choice wasnt made. its intoxicated to read. it feels like breathing and it feels like drowning.

i just read the sunshine court (where jean and jeremy are more from) so thats what all the recent stuff has been, but you should read the foxhole court series first for it to make sense. i think tsc is 100000x times better and better written than tfc but you have to work for it lol. and!!!!! the author is on tumblr (@/korakos)! also if you do read it, please tell me!!!!!! you can keep sending anons or you can dm me or you can come to my house and live in my room but tell me!!!!! theres also an extra content doc (thanks @jeansyvesmoreau for sending this to me) between the series' (so after the kings men, before the sunshine court) that you should definitely definitely read. but im getting ahead of myself.

i hope that helps?? or at least doesnt hurt. if you liked the raven cycle by maggie stiefvater, i think this is a good step up. let me know if you have any questions at all!!

okay ive been normal for this whole thing, ranting and incoherent noises below cut:

ANON ITS SOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD ITS SO GOOD. ITS SO GOOD. i told mel this but i cant possibly say i love these books because its not necessarily love. its not something i can explain but youll get it if you read it. there is a piece of my soul that was carved out, reformed, and then put back into me by nora sakavic. i dont think ill ever be the same again. i need a therapist who has read these books so they can understand exactly what im going through. each character was like a bomb to me. jean moreau is like a straitjacket. they mean so much to me. theyre nothing. i hate them. i need to feed them breakfast. OUGHHHHHHHHORGHEURGHEOGH. there is so much grief entangled with them but they are so vibrant and full of life it hurts. i cant stop thinking about them. i finished tsc yesterday and ive been sobbing ever since. i am dead serious. i cried myself to sleep last night thinking about one of the characters. i need you to know how real i am being.

i think if i meet nora sakavic i will probably kill her. just fully black out and kill her and not even know it. so i wont meet her for the better! but i need this to be out there. my fingers hurt from typing all this but know that there is MORE in my head. so much more. i am fit to burst with it all. love you anon thanks for asking

[ink-knight]

i know u ship renheng so i wanted to ask… what made u ship them in the first place? what about them appeals to u? i’d love to know

its about the TRAGEDY.

something about the whole unhealthy maybe even weirdly codependent way renheng works is so intriguing to me. they bring out the worst in each other. ive never seen them be happy when the other is around. in fact theyre significantly more miserable.

and yet you see dan heng polish his spear with a look of longing on his face. dan heng somehow remembers yingxing's name in the hazy memories from his past self. both blade and dan heng still wear those BRACERS.

they hate each other. theyre seeing memories of the past in each other. one where they were happy. maybe they even loved each other. even though at this point theyve become completely different people, but their fates still feel intertwined?

its such a fucked up weird relationship between them! i also cant imagine them ever having a happy ending with each other in canon. like i love renheng, but at this point in time i dont root for them to be happy. its an interesting relationship to observe and watch and i look forward to see whatever hoyo has in store for them. in conclusion i love toxic renheng 💕

[megabuild]

this isnt about the ask game but i need you to tell me more about your take on pausetho. i just binged starblight desert and theyre the worst /aff what do you have to say about them

the fact you've specified starblight desert is really interesting to me because not only it is a team canada series but it's also the most recent team canada series- which isn't a bad thing to be clear, because pausetho is eternal and forever, but it interests me because i think pause and etho's dynamic changes a lot in a way that i wouldn't consider applicable to other ships of his that have that long and ongoing history (eg. ethubs, beeftho).

when i think of pausetho i think. the two of them are fundamentally quite lonely characters. full disclaimer that i'm far from #educated on their respective mindcrack povs because i haven't watched them in a hot minute, but. etho is extremely lonely often through choice, especially imo with the way i interpret his time on mindcrack as being shortly after all the 404 nonsense on the lp (tldr he has just went through the most traumatic experience of his life and learned most of what he remembers prior is probably fabricated). etho is also known for his masks and during mindcrack i think a big one was being this very respected and almost famous guy.. a lot of it was in jest ofc but like he's Thee Etho's Lab! this in addition to the fact that he's sort of intimidating in the same way he was in 3l+ll because his uhc rankings were pretty solid.

meanwhile pause is also lonely but imo in a different way. because etho is a guy who chooses loneliness to avoid the eventual hurt that comes from connection whereas pause is a guy who chooses connection time and time again but never really properly connects. hes a lot harder to analyse so forgive me because i also have to tread the dreaded rpf/fiction line here and start pulling from examples most people wouldn't consider due to it being Too Real (also i dont care because its complicated but anyway) one thing that always sticks out to me is the various mindcrack podcast episodes where he ends up being outspoken? i dont have any actual numbers on hand but i Def remember it in regards to like, discussions of female gamers and gamergate and the like and pause often being the one guy to speak up and be like This is shitty actually. that in addition to some far more complicated things i dont have the words to get into right now eg. being the guy on the gayest straight server ever who is actually bisexual But anyway. my point is that among mindcrackers pause to me is in a weird situation where he certainly fits in very well but simultaneously sticks out like a sore thumb in ways he cant really do anything about without massively compromising himself, so despite not being lonely in the same way etho is, there is a certain Something there.. sorry this makes zero sense but this ask has been sitting in my drafts for like a week and im desperate to get rid of it. PLUS he also deals with this in the form of a mask (he is actually a very anxious and soft hearted guy imo but often plays up and is fiercer and shouts more to get laughs but also to come across as bigger and more intimidating than he actually is. not that he needs to because jesus have you seen this guys uhc stats? frankly i should have skipped this entire essay and just linked the various times that etho and pause have clashed in uhc)

anyway jesus this got long . all of this is literally not real btw the main reason i like pausetho is because theyre funny and pause is one of my favourite guys and i wish there was more content for him. but also generally like.. this is the complicated messy reason to like them but also yeah generally just watching team canada and seeing their dynamic is fun bc they are just really good friends ^_^

[redheadloverr]

sub vs dom headcanons

basically just whether i think theyre the dom or sub! (entirely sfw)

gn!reader x anemo boys!

heizou

a dom but in possibly the worst - best way ever

he’s the type to brag to everyone that he is the dom but no one believes him, everyone thinks youre the dom but he gets his way every single time.

hes a bit stubborn so he takes things like this almost like a competition, he has to prove to you, and the world, that he is in fact a dom. it gets tiring at times but you laugh at it.

its an interesting dynamic, no one believes he’s the dom but as some would say “he has you wrapped around his fingers” and you honestly dont mind. hes sweet and compassionate when he needs to be, serious and stern when he needs to be as well.

although you are his special person; and trust me you are, sometimes he’ll do or say things that make you two seem like mere friends but you know he doesnt mean them that way. he looks out for you. he knows you dont need him to but hes happy to do it anyways.

at the end of the day, you know what type of partner you’re coming home to. he may be a bit overprotective and overbearing at times but thats what you love about him.

kazuha

soft dom. 100%.

kazuha’s the type of dom to let you go around telling people you’re the dom and people would believe it because of how soft spoken he is and how easy he is to give in to your request.

kazuha practically created the “princess treatment”. he would never disrespect you, never raise his voice at you, never even touch you unless you told him it was okay / you wanted him to. he respects you and your personal space as well as your personal opinions, ideals, morals, so on and so fourth.

kazuha does have a downside tho, he never knows how to necessarily bring up his own emotions or opinions. kazuha is a closed book, his book hasnt been opened for years its practically full of dust. you try your best to mkae him open up and he does! you know him better than anyone else but even then he still keeps his secrets.

kazuha is absolutely terrified or harming you in any way shape or form. he goes out of his way to protect you from stuff you couldnt even possibly think of. you have his full attention and admiration, though you wish he’d pay attention to you when you’d tell him he needs to focus on himself and what he wants.

he typically says “dont worry about my feelings.” or “this isnt about my feelings.” on the rare occasions you two do have disagreements.

scaramouche

100% a sub. a bratty sub.

hes the type of sub to be such a brat at times you genuinely just want to throw them in the lake and leave them there. you don’t obviously but he gets on your nerves lol.

if people asked who wore the pants he’d say it was a mix of the two of you, though you know its all bs.

scara is like a little kid having a temper tantrum because he couldnt get ice cream for dinner. if he doesnt get his way hes pouty and moody until you somehow “make it up to him” with basically anything

hes moody and a lot of times has mood swings every five seconds, he really is like a kid. he’s fussy and whiny but you know at the end of the day you love him and he loves you, you two would never want your dynamic to be shared with someone else nor lose this dynamic.

venti

venti is a bit of a wild card! he’s definitely a switch

i feel like venti is confident in certain aspects of the relationship and with other aspects he just lets you take control if youre more confident.

i feel like a relationship with venti would for sure be 50/50, probably the most balanced relationship but a bit of a hectic and chaotic one to be sure.

venti wouldnt necessarily know how to answer someone if they asked who wears the pants, hed probably say you just to throw them for a loop but you both know youre equals in this relationship.

xiao

definitely a sub but behind closed doors.

he pretends to be hard on the outside but really all he wants is to be the little spoon and be pampered with love and affection!

he secretly loves when you take the initiative; whether it be planning dates, holding hands out in public, showing PDA, ect.

he’s definitely the type to have acted like a “badass” or a “bully” in highschool but in reality he just wanted a hug and for someone to tell him theyre proud of him.

he has absolutely no mercy for anyone who even attempts to hurt you, however. youre the only one who has and is able to see his soft side.

he shows you off to his friends and worships the ground you walk on, it doesnt bother you one bit that he pretends to wear the pants in the relationship to his friends and fellow acquaintances.

[suffarustuffaru]

Opinion on Reinhard's dad possibly seeing "the son he never had" on Garfiel? It could totally take that route tbh

It would be a fun dynamic imo

oh anon as a heinkel fan (hes soo terrible but so fascinating and i WANT to see him get better and grow as a person. but also you may have known that since you are asking me this hah) and someone who is quite fond of garf i lovedddd the recent heinkel-garfiel chapters... and LMAO this idea of like. heinkel being a bit soft on garfiel bc yay!! new son replacement!!! is SO FUNNY ive thought about it a little bit. and IT WOULD BE FUN and i think heinkels arc is super interesting bc he kinda hit his rock bottom in like about arc 7-early arc 8 where its like. its post arc 5 astrea drama so shit just got even more bleak for heinkel, hes stuck in dangerous territory and he doesnt believe in himself At All and hes too depressed to really try all that much at anything.

but then GARFIEL comes along and saves heinkel a couple times and garfiel gets hit down but keeps getting right tf up - and that goes against like literally everything heinkel thinks. he doesnt try to be better bc he doesnt think he can ever accomplish it no matter how hard he tries, but garfiel is someone who just WONT stop trying.

and we also see that heinkel learning more about rowan and cecilus and the whole deal with the segmunts has made heinkel go "oh. okay haha maybe im not as far gone as i thought" bc heinkel gets shown another example of a dysfunctional family with an extremely op son and a deadbeat alcoholic dad and theyre a mirror of reinhard and heinkel. except rowan and cecilus are like if reinhard and heinkel werent so miserable about their shit relationship, bc as shitty as heinkels behavior is deep down he still CARES. he cares a lot about his family. he misses reinhard - why else would he need schult to be a replacement? he's still mourning that loss, if you think about it. but rowan is just so batshit that heinkel immediately goes backtracking like "OKAY IM. IM NOT THAT BAD. MAYBE THERES A TINY LITTLE SPECK OF HOPE FOR ME AFTER ALL."

and garfiel is helping to be a catalyst as well bc of his own determination to always keep growing and keep fighting no matter what gets in his way. hes a spunky little kid whos powerful but when faced with opponents stronger than him Refuses To Give Up. thats inspirational i think for heinkel, especially when its not as if hes a shit fighter, dude is just outshadowed by his family and other people around him. he just has to get up and keep trying, so its interesting that heinkel DOES find the courage to try and protect garfiel while garfiel's trying not to die.

like i do think that its heinkel like having this grudging respect for garfiel after the interactions theyve had, also possibly feeling inspired by garfiel and having that tiny bit of hope in him after meeting rowan and interacting with garfiel, and also trying to repay garfiel. bc heinkel treats himself like dirt and gets treated like dirt a lot - im sure his thought process might be "this kid took the time to keep saving me even though im literally worthless and now hes in danger, this is the least i can do". i would be interested if it went the route of like. heinkel having that fatherly instinct rekindled - i think itd be interesting for garfiel as well bc. he IS lacking a father figure, but for heinkel, i think that its clear with how he acts with schult that heinkel does kind of miss having a son and having that sort of love in his life.

we know he DID use to be a good dad, and tbh i always kind of headcanoned that heinkel probably isnt that mean with most kids unless its someone like. you know. subaru. or julius. or reinhard of course. like heinkels not that much of an ass when his life is on the line or when there isnt super personal stakes involved (ie astrea stuff). hes a character that carries a lot of guilt and shame and self-hatred, someone who's spiraled into being the worst version of himself when he used to be bright-eyed and hardworking and full of love despite the weight on his shoulders - i think he would see a very kind and determined and spirited kid like garfiel (and might be reminded of the kid he Used to love) and hope that garfiel doesnt end up like him (ie lost, burnt out, and depressed). we see this sort of behavior a bit with schult too, bc heinkel tries to give schult advice and tries to look after schult a bit in general!! and garfiel's like a better version of heinkel you know? garfiel's a bit abrasive with a quick temper and all but hes extremely well intentioned in just about everything he does. and i think heinkel might have a fondness for all of garfiel's antics at this point T^T

but yes ty for the ask anon !! :o im very interested to see where heinkel and garfiel go from here, bc it looks like heinkel's started some baby steps in his growth!!

[thespacewithin]

Do INFJ’s get hurt easily?

There's a secret most infj's dont tell others, or sometimes they themselves aren't concious of it.

When you observe infj's, there are a few signs that stand out from all the rest. Infj's are deeply driven to live a full and inspired life, they want to experience meaning and beauty to its absolute core, and they also perceive the deep, beautiful, and painful emotions entangled in the human experience. This makes them very intense people. If you've ever had an infj open their heart to you, it is an intense experience. They have a passion for affection that's unique.

When I say see, I mean they can observe other people and pick up the smallest emotional details of their lives, building a theme of what that person is experiencing, has experienced, and at times…what they may experience in the future. They don't just perceive the theme of anothers sorrows and anguish, but also the details, painting a picture of others with a pallette of colors and a variety of brushes. If they can see someone is lonely, they might add a whole plethora of other characteristics, such as that same person being kind, or defensive, insecure, tying all of these emotions together into a holistic picture.

This is a beautiful trait of Ni+Fe, and no other personality sees emotions so clearly. While infj's do this, they rarely outwardly articulate what they see, preferring to keep their knowledge internal, and adjusting themselves to act in a way that's fitting towards those they observe. (I want to emphasize that this ability is a good trait of infj's, they are not “wrong” for being this way, their emotional perception is a blessing.)

They do this for a few reasons. Infj's have learned that if they manifest what they know, it has a massive impact on the other. In addition, what infj's perceive is difficult to articulate, as it exists in an emotional, ethereal realm, and concretely explaining what you see to others is hard to find the right language for. Worse yet, there are times that if the infj spoke bluntly the other person would not be emotionally aware enough within themselves to grasp the depth of their own experience.

This puts infj's in a position where they can genuinely see others, but rarely connect with them at the level in which they see. This isn't a small problem, when you mine into it, the deeper you go the darker and more painful it gets. Every infj, at one point in their lives, attempted to connect with another at this level, and at the least it's likely they experienced a sorrowful lack of reciprocation. When they did, the infj was innocent, trying to express their real selves, only to be misunderstood, burnt, or rejected. This happens all the time for infj's, and it leaves them extremely lonely. To have such a big heart with no avenue to express yourself makes you feel completely unseen. This is why infj's are social chameleons: They cannot trust that if they're their authentic selves, they will be seen or accepted. In reality, this is true. The vast majority of personalities *cannot* see and understand infj's. Very few can. Infj's dont just feel misunderstood, they *are* misunderstood. This is because Ni insights are a one way street, those who don't have Ni cannot reciprocate the understanding that comes from it, and that understanding just happens to be deep, rare, and hard to articulate.

Optional reading to know why deep infj connections are rare:

(Because Ni/Ne revolves around meaning and beauty it is deep. Only 4 personalities share Ni in top slots, with an additional 4 possessing high Ne traits. The enfj is well positioned to see and care for infj's, but at the expense of a logical connection. Trickster Fe puts an interesting spin on intj's. Intj's can build intellectual connections, but theyre amongst the worst personality to develop deep emotional connections with, although it appears in some cases this isnt always true. Entj's with a developed Inferior Fi have the capacity to understand infj's emotionally and intellectually, but infj's will have a hard time understanding entj's because of Trickster Te. Therefore, of the 16 personalities, only a few others are equipped to meet infj's emotionally where they're at, in the deep, beautiful, and true realm of Ni/Ne insights, and four of them lean heavily towards Thinking traits. These make up 2.5% (enfj), 1.7%(entj) and 2.1%(intj)of the population (5.3%), as well as Ne users. Entj's don't develop Inferior Fi until 30+ years old, if at all, so it would be rare and require exact timing/development for this pair to form a strong emotional connection, although I imagine the safety infj's can provide may expedite this blooming. Infj's can form various other connections with people, but not at the deepest levels of Ni/Ne. Because these numbers and connection implications are real, they're explanatory to the infj's feelings of isolation.

There's a concept that needs to be grasped here:

*If nobody can see you, then you are nothing.*

But if somebody can see you, then they are everything, but that everything never comes, no matter how hard you try, no matter how much you bleed, no matter how much you give.

Herein sits the very core of the infj's sorrow. They feel like they are nothing because nobody can see them the way they see others. Suffice to say this is typically true for all personalities on one level or another, but because infj's see deeper and emotionally, it affects them more profoundly. At least a magnitude larger than any other personality. The rarity of infj's amplifies isolation. An infj's Parent Fe inclines them to need someone they can love, which is unique amongst the parent functions, and they love fiercely.

Because of this, infj's have an acute empathy for the pain of others, particularly with lonliness and castigation, because lonliness and castigation is the default life experience of infj's, at one level or another. Now, they not only see people, but they also embody others pain *through themselves*. This is why they're referenced as having a martyr vibe, but it comes from sincere experience: They seek to “save” others in emotional pain because *they know* what it feels like.

The innocent logic of Ti struggles to make sense of why infj's aren't accepted when they readily understand and accept others. Because this is a deeply painful experience, infj's reason that one can become valuable if they learn specific skills, and they're at risk of seeing people's value according to what they do, because infj's are not valued for who they are. Because of this, every infj has put effort into developing a special talent(s), and they are often perfectionistic and critical towards themselves in this pursuit because of the pain that underlies it. If only they could be perfect at what they do, then maybe their value could be recognized. This is wrong. Infj's are valuable for who they *are*.

This is why they can end up with narcissists, or other scarred people, because *more than anything, they can deeply connect with anothers pain, because this is what they know and experience. *

So are infj's easily hurt? Not particularly, but singularly: If you represent hope to an infj in terms of actually seeing them and caring for them in return, and if this hope is diminished in any way, it will be deeply painful, sometimes even fatal.

Infj's know this, and that is why they choose a very few number of people to actually open themselves up to, they need to first trust that they can, but because they often pick those who are hurting, the odds of them finding a person whos in pain but not maladaptive *is significantly lower*. Not only do they pick those who are hurting, but often these people have no real wavelength in which they can reciprocate deep empathy or understanding, because Ni+Fe is unique in this, and only a handful of other personalties have the functional sophistication to perceive infj's for who they are at core levels.

After being burnt a few times, infj's decide not to try anymore, and you can't blame them.

This is why they find it difficult to find longterm relationships, why they can tend to end up alone. Sometimes they end up alone even while in a bound relationship, suffering, and remaining to be unseen. The world cannot understand or accept the deep, intense and childlike love infj's wish to give, and it's a sorrow that burdens the subconcious of the infj daily. The plaguing thought ringing in stillness echoes “Nobody loves me”.

In the deepest recess of the infj's heart, they're intimately aware of this, and within this realm, you can easily hurt them. In a sense, the love infj's wish to give and receive isn't an ideal, it's a reality of how love *should be experienced*, it's not the concept that's wrong, it's that there are just very few people who can fathom, experience, and share love at this depth. In reality, other people who lack this depth aren't wrong either, they just don't have the potential within themselves to experience love in these terms. There's something fascinating to realize about this exchange. Inasmuch as the possibility of exchanging love at this level appears very rare for a variety of the above stated reasons, at least *it is* possible for a smaller group of people. I haven't quite figured out the limit, but it's very possible that the full depth of this love can only be shared with other Ni users, a deeper but not the deepest level with Ne users, and the least levels with Sensors, as this represents the different functional potentials embodied from conceptually deepest to conceptually nonexistent, remembering that an ideal can only be fathomed and boundless within the realm of potential and imagination *before* it can become manifest in reality. So then it's not the ideal then that's wrong, but in the same way a jewel is rare and not common, so is the full experience of this ideal. This is the nature of how it appears to me, and I believe my grasp of the dynamics is fairly accurate. In many ways, infj's can conjure love in idealistic terms from Ni, and then actually implement their affections via Fe, which is nothing less than extraordinary. One can imagine why not having this reciprocated feels like a serious loss.

I counsel infj's to only seek those who can see you as a first priority, and don't be lured by another person's ache. You must be sure you are being seen *first* before even thinking about proceeding in relationships. You *will not* find many. It may take years, even decades, but they *are* out there. I understand there's a sense that if you cannot connect through pain, then the other can't fully understand your experience, and this is a legitimate concern. However, it should not be the driving factor in your relationships, rather, look for people who are gentle, kind, and generally able to intuitively connect, and then seek to connect through pain as a secondary goal. When somebody genuinely connects with you, you can't miss it, especially if it's in your own wavelength.

Also, please recognize that your ability to see people in this way is a real gift, truly. In a way your particular functions make you more alive than anyone, which is the cost of often feeling more grief than anyone. You have been chosen out of others to be this way. Your vision of what love can be is inspiring, and quite frankly everyone should adopt it, it's what we were created for.

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