#but its me and i also can't fully comprehend it

[dispotatorulzz]

One day I will try to explain how I feel love in a way that can be understood

[our-inspire-verse]

I think that being autistic got me fucked up

[the-sill-of-all-sills]

JJK Chapter 77: I am... Confused?

[plutonianeris]

how you leave them addicted …

choose based on your inner guidance and gut feeling.

(pile one) 🤎

“Find out how it feels to let go of everything. Be free. When you're here with me”

They are addicted to your strength, passion, desire for adventure, and love of life. I get a feeling they perceive you as unattainable, but not in the sense that you're out of their league. They could feel like they can't keep up… because you're always talking about your passions and interests, and you have such a genuine and magnificent desire to learn. It makes you feel apprehensive about settling down or staying in one location. You want to know what the world is actually like and discover numerous truths about yourself… it's a never-ending journey on your part. You enjoy growing. Pile one, your INTELLIGENCE IS SEXY AS FUCK. You're fucking philosophical, clever, helpful, and chaotic all at the same time.

And you become a wildfire to them. They're captivated by your spark, your attractiveness, and the way your eyes light up when you tell them about something new you've discovered. This pile gives me a bittersweet ache in my chest. There is a sense of hurt in the heart of all that strength and curiosity and strength and desire to grow. That as much as you want to appreciate life, you have also been hurt… there is a sense of suspicion in others. Fear of getting too close. But this simply makes them want you more. That simply increases their desire for you. You're badass… I get it. You're not afraid to stand on your own if you have to… if anything you're proud of that.  

You may have been quite independent at an early age, and you may have had parents or family who were more concerned with your attitude, mood, or what you could do for them rather than checking up on you or giving you the benefit of the doubt. How ironic… that you're always willing to put yourself out there when it comes to your opinions about the universe, death, life, science, religion, or even school subjects… that you're always prepared to listen and even debate. But when it comes to love and romance, there's just this fucking fear and resistance to FULLY explore... that it makes you want to bolt. pile one… you leave them enchanted. You can be very good at flirting, and you could get compliments on your smile, laugh, and personality.  

But it doesn't always go beyond flirting, and they're left wondering what will be good enough for someone like you. You're a heartbreaker, Pile One… I know it's not in the same manner as getting into a long-term, intimate relationship, but it's as if you offer them a taste of something breathtaking and thrilling, and then you're gone. But you're a flame, and they stare in awe, fingers outstretched, not even caring that the skin on their palm will burn and blister as they yank their hand back, their gaze never leaving you.

It reminds me of a little kid just staring at something fascinating with their mouth hanging open, pointing. You have the power of bringing out this expansive and innocent curiosity in them. They don't seem to mind getting hurt as long as they can be near you. And you can be irresponsible with your actions at times too, not caring whether anyone gets hurt either, including yourself. Even in that pain, you find such meaningful lessons.

(pile two) 🤎

“you wont find me twice and this I promise”

They’re addicted to your resilience, your unapologetic pursuit of truth, and the unwavering confidence you carry like armor. You’re not someone they can easily forget. It’s as though you’re an endless puzzle, always shifting, always evolving. And that mystique? It pulls them in deeper every time. There’s this feeling that they’re chasing something they can never quite catch. its a wild force they admire but can’t fully comprehend. You are a storm of energy, constantly moving, constantly seeking new experiences. You’re driven by an insatiable curiosity to explore the depths of your potential, your limits, and the world around you. That hunger for growth makes you seem untethered, impossible to pin down, and that is both exhilarating and intimidating to them.

You’re the kind of person who thrives on change, who finds stagnation suffocating. Settling isn’t just unappealing it’s out of the question. They see that fire in you, the one that refuses to be dimmed, and they’re in awe of it. You live boldly, your intelligence not just something of the mind but of the heart its a deep, soulful kind of wisdom that radiates from within. And when you speak, you hold them spellbound. It’s your passion for knowledge, your fearless way of questioning everything, that makes them addicted to the essence of you.

But here’s the twist. For all your strength, there’s a vulnerability they can sense but can’t quite touch. Beneath that powerful exterior, there’s a wariness its a suspicion of people, of letting them too close. It’s not that you don’t want connection, but you’ve been burned before. You’ve learned to shield yourself with independence, wearing it like a badge of honor. You’ve stood on your own two feet for so long that the idea of leaning on someone else feels foreign, maybe even dangerous. And yet, that guarded heart of yours? It only makes them want you more. It’s the very thing that keeps them captivated, wondering what it would take to break down those walls, to get closer to the real you.

You might have had to grow up faster than others, taking on responsibilities or emotional burdens that weren’t yours to carry. Maybe those around you cared more about your achievements, your capabilities, than they ever did about your well-being. So, you learned to rely on yourself. How strange it must seem to others that someone so confident in their beliefs, so open with their thoughts on life, death, and the universe, can still shy away when it comes to matters of the heart. Love and romance? They scare you in a way nothing else does. You fear losing control, and that fear sometimes makes you want to run before things even get too deep.

And it’s that duality..the brave face you show the world versus the hesitation you feel inside is what leaves them spellbound. You’re magnetic, a natural flirt without even trying, and they can’t get enough of your smile, your laughter, your energy. But just when they think they’re getting closer, you pull back. It’s not that you’re cruel, but you’ve mastered the art of showing just enough to leave them wanting more. You offer a glimpse of something electric, something life-changing, and then, like the wind, you’re gone. They’re left chasing that spark, knowing full well they might never catch it, but unable to resist.

You’re the fire they can’t touch without getting burned, and they don’t even care about the pain. You make them feel alive, make them rediscover that sense of awe and wonder they thought they had lost. Even if it means they’ll hurt in the end, it’s worth it to be near you, to experience that intensity. Sometimes, without realizing it, you can be reckless with other people’s hearts...reckless with your own too. But even in the aftermath of heartache, you find meaning in the lessons learned. You’ve always been one to take the pain and turn it into fuel, into wisdom, into something you can use to keep moving forward.

And maybe that’s what makes you truly unforgettable. You don’t just exist...you burn brightly, unapologetically, and they’re left staring in wonder, unable to look away, even as their hand reaches out, knowing they’ll feel the heat. And still, they’re drawn to you, willing to take the risk, because something about your wild, untamed energy promises that even in the hurt, there’s beauty, there’s growth, there’s life.

[inside-lees-mind]

Is multiple characters(separate) allowed? I was thinking a NSFW with a reader that gets flustered easily for Gen, Senku, and Ukyo!

Hi! Yes, multiple characters is allowed! Also, sorry, I only half assed listened to the request because Senku's felt so much more natural to write sfw.

WARNINGS: NSFW (only in Gen and Ukyo's)

Gen Asagiri

Once this man notices that you easily get flustered, he is wielding that knowledge like a weapon.

He'd be good with his words to be able to fluster you without even having to resort to close proximity.

Just silly compliments can fluster you, so soon he's taking it a step closer.

He likes to say things that take you a second to comprehend the meaning of. He'll tell you something that could mean 2 things, one more innocent, one not so much, in passing. By the time you realize, he's not even in the room anymore.

You're usually super embarrassed, but he just finds it cute and endearing.

The times that he stays after flustering you with a suggestive comment, he'll wait until you get it, then use close proximity to fluster you next.

He goes from verbally teasing you, to tilting your chin up with his pointer finger. He'll get so close you can feel his breath on your face, and from here, these interactions could go one of two ways: he may say you have something on your face, dust it off, and walk away as if he's done nothing, or the latter would be he FINALLY kisses you.

Definitely the type to tease you by pushing your legs apart with his knee, keeping it there. Don't question me on that.

Most likely character to tease you in public, but refuse to do the real thing. That's a private matter, he's just sneaky enough to tease you.

Praise or degrading in bed, whatever you'd prefer, he's using it to tease you. The blush on your face spreads down your body and that drives him crazy (or the heat if the blush wouldn't be visible)

"use your words" makes you say things you don't really wanna say out loud even if he understands what you mean.

(this man can make you cum without touching you and nobody can convince me otherwise. I don't accept critique.)

Senku Ishigami

Accidentally flusters you half of the time.

He thinks nothing of getting right in your face for something or touching you to measure you or something like that. He's unbothered because he's simply not worried about that right now.

And honestly, most of the time he won't bother to go out of his way to fluster you.

Eventually he'd realize from time to time

Like the time he pulled you out to stargaze with him.

Sure, he'd intended for it to be a date of sorts, but he doesn't really swoon at the idea of how romantic it is. He enjoys stargazing and space and all that, and its time he could be spending with you so why not just combine the things he loves into one activity?

You, on the other hand, were super nervous to speak or anything. The still of the night made it romantic, but also terrifying. It's just you, him, and the moon and stars.

He's probably talking your ear off about space and what you're looking at, not that you mind, but eventually he turns onto his side to fully face you.

You get super flustered, and for once he can't help but notice and honestly, now that he's thinking about it, you make him little nervous.

He feels that it's illogical to feel like some giddy, hopelessly in love teenager when he looks at you, but he can't help it.

Now he's just as flustered.

He struggles with initiating physical contact, but he's direct with it. He'll scoot closer and kiss you.

Then you'll both just stare in silence, occasionally opening your mouths to say something and getting nothing out.

He'd take your hand and let you both fall into a comfortable silence where you both almost drift off in each other's company.

Ukyo Saionji

It's easy to forget this man was pretty cocky.

I think at first in a relationship, he'd just be sweet and very humble, but now you've been with him for quite sometime and he won't let you forget how much he turns you on.

He's soft whispers and gentle touches to send your mind in a spiral right into the gutter and your stomach to a butterfly farm.

His favorite thing would be a back hug where he breathes in your scent and whispers against the shell of your ear, his hands running up your hips, gradually rising higher with each pass as he begins to move under your shirt.

He knows the power he has over you, but he's going to drive you crazy with whispered sweet nothings and gentle gestures.

He's an honest flirt, and that naturally flusters you. He's aware of that.

Eventually, the gentle touches get a bit more obvious and brass.

Those hands on your hips would pull you back against him.

Flusters you by insisting you be vocal in bed and then moaning about how pretty your noises are.

You'll never meet a man more in love with you. He'll fluster you by never letting you forget this.

He praises every part of your body, every noise you make, anything really.

Not related, but Ukyo would send you love letters if he had to go away on a trip and you couldn't go (pretend that's possible in the New Stone Age)

[osamusriceballs]

Kinktober Day 27 <3

Ushijima x dirtytalk

Warnings: NSFW, fem reader

Words: ~ 2,3 k

Kinktober Masterlist II -> Next day

"Here, Wakatoshi-kun! Look at this!"

A phone gets shoved into his face, the brightness level way too high for comfort, but he squints to take a look at the screen. A small grunt leaves his lips at the lack of greeting from his red-haired friend, but he chooses to focus on the screen instead.

It's an Instagram post with a picture of him, one taken during the Olympics. He looks at the picture, confused, but then Tendou starts scrolling through the comments

"I'd combust if he called me 'baby' with that deep voice."

"Do you think he's vocal in bed?" Reply: "He doesn't talk much in interviews, so I doubt it." Reply: "What a waste. His voice is so hot."

"LOOK AT HIS ABS *drools*"

"The world is going crazy ever since you said 'baby' in that one interview!" Tendou wildly gestures with his phone still in his hand, his grin almost smug when he elbows Ushijima. A frown appears on the spiker's face as he tries to recall the interview. It was one that he wasn't too fond of, due to the number of personal questions that had been asked. Way too personal questions for his liking.

"Ushijima-san, do you have any plans to start a family soon? When can we expect a baby, a little Ushijima junior?" "Baby?" he had echoed, clearly taken aback by this question, something that the interviewer probably failed to notice, but to the people close to him, it was fairly obvious. The silence after this question lead to speculation on the internet about his relationship status, something that he has kept private so far.

"It wasn't in a sexual way." Ushijima states after skimming through more comments, raising his eyebrows when the messages get more explicit and vulgar. "I was surprised when he asked the question."

"Doesn't matter! The world is going feral now, everybody wants to be Wakatoshi's baby! And even I have to admit that I got butterflies when I heard you say that. Y/n is really lucky~" Tendou hums, mischief clear in his eyes, but Ushijima fails to follow his train of thoughts with this.

"Why is she lucky?"

"Because she gets you to say sweet and dirty things to her all day long. You can't fool me, Wakatoshi-kun; I'm not only your best but also your oldest friend." Tendou winks and strolls ahead, oblivious to the way Wakatoshi is left standing there with a frown on his face, still.

xxxxx

"Y/n?"

You rub your arms dry with a fluffy towel when his voice comes from the other side of the door.

"Hmm?" you hum, smiling excitedly because he is finally back home. "I'll be out in a second."

"Yes, please. We need to talk." You hear him lean against the door frame, clearly waiting for you to come out.

You freeze at his words, eyes growing wide when realization settles in and you fully comprehend his words. "Talk? Talk about what?" you know that you sound shrill and loud, but you can't help yourself but to feel nervous at his serious tone- even more serious than normally.

"About us." Your jaw drops, and you quickly reach for your bathrobe, hastily unfolding the fabric to its full length.

"What do you mean about us? Is there a problem with us?" You finally manage to pull your arms through the fabric, quickly wrapping the fabric along your body before you open the door. You're met with Ushijima's broad chest as he quickly straightens to his full posture. His olive eyes roam over your body, lingering for a short moment on your exposed cleavage before they return back to your face. He looks nervous, there is no other way to put it. "I'm not sure. I think there could might be a problem."

"And what would that be?" You cross your arms in front of your chest, your eyes boring into his face as if you could find answers for his unusual behavior there. You've never seen him like this before. His usual warm eyes are clouded with worry, his hands fidgeting with his phone in his hands. "Toshi? What is it? Please, talk to me." You're tempted to take the phone out of his hands, but you refrain from touching him, not when you don't know what's going on.

"Are you happy with our sex life?" His eyes don't leave your face, not for even the slightest second to see your reaction, and your jaw drops at the sudden question- you expected a lot, but definitely not this.

"I'm- I mean, yes I am? Shouldn't I be? Are you unhappy?" You take a slight step back, creating distance between the two of you, baffled by the sudden implication that he thinks that you're not satisfied. Or that he might not be. Sex with Wakatoshi is great- hard, rough, and passionate. He knows how to fuck you, that is for sure, but he also knows how to be gentle and sweet, how to take care of you and spoil you, especially during aftercare. You lack nothing in your sex life with him- and you hope that he feels the same.

"I am happy. Very. I enjoy sex with you very much much," he states firmly, but that only confuses you more.

"Why are you asking me then? What made you think that I could be unhappy?" You move closer to him, worry etched in your features when you finally take his phone and put it aside to grab his hands.

"Do you want me to talk more? To be more vocal? I saw a video and people kept on commenting how they want me to call them 'baby' and some more things. Would you like that too?" The way he asks nonchalantly like he was just talking about dinner made this even more embarrassing somehow.

"For you to call me 'baby' during sex?"

"Hmm." He nods and looks expectantly at you, his hands squeezing yours while his gaze seems somewhat calmer now that he is convinced that you're satisfied.

"You... you can call me whatever you want. I'm fine with it." You try to sound unbothered and calm, but the slightly shaking note shows how the thought of him calling you "baby" or "his pretty girl" while he thrusts into you does something to you. He nods, hesitating for a second, but then his hands suddenly drop yours to pull you in by the waist, his other hand coming to your chin while he leans down until his lips are close to your ear.

"My baby. Or would you rather be my babygirl?" His honey-like voice almost puts a spell on you, and you find yourself shivering in his arms, thighs involuntarily clenching together. "S-sounds good, Toshi." You bring your hands up to his chest, feeling the hard muscles under his shirt and his slow and steady heartbeat.

"And what would my babygirl like me to do? Does my babygirl want to be touched?" He lowly mumbles against the shell of your ear, your heart now beating faster when his hands start to roam over your body. "Yes," you breathlessly answer, hands slightly clenching into the fabric of his shirt. Definitely not what you had expected as the outcome of the conversation, but vocal Wakatoshi makes your pussy throb with every single word.

"My babygirl needs me to touch her, huh? I will take care of that pretty little princess cunt." He kisses your cheek, and your legs feel like jelly at this point. You cling to him, hanging on every single one of his words. You feel your arousal growing, feel how you start to get wet the more his hands keep touching you.

"More," you whisper, feeling hot and bothered while he keeps on touching you and pressing kisses to your neck. "More? Is my babygirl needy? That pretty princess cunny needs me to touch her?" He lifts the bathrobe just enough to place one hand on your thigh, and you feel like your body is on fire when he touches you there.

"Yes," you gasp, your hands now finding purchase on his shoulders while you cling onto him like your life depends on it. "What does that little princess cunny want? My fingers?" He grazes his fingertips along your thigh, moving dangerously close to your pussy under the bathrobe- bare, and basically creaming for him the longer he keeps playing with your body.

"Or my tongue?" he licks along the column of your neck, and you gasp at his words, the sensation hot and forbidden god. "I want to taste you, baby. You always taste so sweet. Do you want my tongue between your legs? Licking at your pretty pussy?" His fingers reach your throbbing pussy, slightly parting your folds and dipping in your wetness.

"Do it, do it, Toshi, please," you press your legs together around his hand, effectively caging him right where you need it. "Hmm, but you have to cum on my fingers first." He pecks your cheek and pulls his hand away from your legs, just to place it on your hips to guide you towards the bed. "Lay down for me, baby. Open that bathrobe for me."

His baritone echoes through the room, and you feel yourself doing everything like you're in a haze, full of need for him. "Hmm, that's my good girl." He hums apporvingly when you discard the bathrobe on the floor. Your body is trembling in the cool air of the room, but Ushijima is quick to join you on the bed and to hover above you, radiating so much heat that you instantly feel warm.

"Baby, spread your legs for me. Show me everything." You take a deep breath and slowly part your legs, revealing your glistening folds to him. A shiver runs down his body, and he clears his throat before he speaks again, his voice now lower when he is obviously bothered and turned on by the situation. "Look at how wet you are for me. All for me."

You frantically nod, anticipation rushing through your body while you wait for him to touch you. His fingers finally roam over your thighs, and your head falls back into the pillow at the way he touches you, the way he knows exactly where and how to touch you.

"So impatient. I can't wait to be inside of you, to feel you around me." Your gaze falls to the tent in his pants, the thought of him fucking you making your head spin and your pussy throb with need. His fingers move between your legs, moving along your folds and pressing against your clit. You moan at the sensation, your hands fisting the sheets when his thumb prods on your entrance.

"You look so pretty like this. Just waiting for me to touch you, to fuck you. And you feel so good around my fingers." He pushes his thumb inside of you, and you almost close your legs around him. "I will make you feel so good. I will make you cum on my fingers, on my tongue, on my cock." You clench around the digit at his words, your eyes focused on his handsome face while he keeps on rubbing your clit. "More, please more," you whine your body shaking underneath his. "Shhh, I'll give you more. I'll give you what you need, baby." His eyes roam down your body and you almost protest when he pulls his thumb out, just to quickly replace it with three of his fingers. "Oh, Toshi," you whine, your hips arching into him, and you start to fuck yourself on his fingers. He keeps the fast rhythm, pulling his fingers out, and pushing them back inside, curling them pulling them out again. "You feel so good. You're is creaming for me, look at that." His words only add fuel to your desire, and you grab his shoulders to push him down to you to connect your lips in a needy kiss. He groans into your mouth, his movements slowing down for a few moments before he sets his rhythm again, a fast and punishing pace now.

Your nails rake along his bare shoulders, leaving red marks, and he groans at the sensation. "Come on, baby girl. Let me feel you clench around me. Cream on my fingers, make a mess for me," his voice sends you over the edge, and you moan his name when you cum, your walls pulsing and clenching softly around his fingers. He groans your name, sweet praises of how you're his good girl, how pretty you look under him, how much he loves you, leave his lips and your body arches from the bed into his while your face contorts in pure bliss.

He prolongs your high, making sure to keep his pace and to curl his fingers just the right way, and your body goes limp when he finally slows down. His lips meet yours, pressing chaste and loving kisses to your face. "Was that okay?" The slight frown on his face is back, a clear sign of him being deep in thoughts when he pulls back after a few more kisses.

"More than okay. I think I could cum from your voice alone." You smile up at him and cup his cheek, the afterglow making you feel so good while you lay under him.

He raises an eyebrow, curiosity now sparkling in his eyes at your words, and you are quick to explain further. "I- I didn't mean that literally. Like- I just wanted to say that your voice is hot. And you are hot." Your cheeks heat up when he simply nods and hums, a mild smile on his lips.

"I want to test that out. Let's see if I can make you cum with my voice alone, baby."

[leidensygdom]

Generative AI is such a dystopian concept in ways I can't even really fully comprehend. It would make for a fantastic premise for a sci fi novel I think, and yet, it is sadly not just fiction.

Like, let me explain. It was initially a sort of novelty toy. Many people had seen these sites that could create abstract pictures out of few words, but it never amounted to much. It didn't take long before these tools were quickly repurposed to serve the new cryptocurrency fad, the latest pyramid scheme to enrich a few while catering to these more technologically-inclined people who were delighted at the idea of getting involved with investing. Investing in a new way, away from a government's scrutiny. And before we all knew, the Internet was filled with them pretending that what was a major scale scam, was actually the future. The initial generative AI served them as a replacement to artists, which mostly saw through the truth of NFTs as a scam and did not wish to get involved with that.

Now, we could also talk about cryptocurrencies being dystopian on their own. A fabricated idea of virtual money obtained through what I had seen described "the pollution machine that produces metaphorical money". You turn on an infinite amount of computers to do a senseless talk that does not benefit society in any way, but in turn, it does contaminate more than small countries. But generative AI isn't just that.

NFTs did not last long and many tech bros, who had invested in them largely, found their pockets much emptier. But generative AI was still there, and people saw a new use to it. And then, with technological investors desperate to find the new thing to shove money in, after years of nothing being particularly profitable for them, generative AI started to really evolve. It went from an useless novelty toy to what we have today. And the way it got there is simply horrifying.

It is a machine that, essentially, feeds on an amalgamation of millions of creative and artistic work, chopped down and inserted into a dataset with no consent from its creators, which is then regurgitated into a soulless porridge. It is a machine powered by art, used to ultimately, remove actual art from the equation. The generated sludge can only barely manage to repeat the same bias and tropes already present in what was it fed, and they only become more and more reinforced with each update to the dataset. Suddenly, a sea of smooth, childish anime girls became the main ideation of what a woman is, amidst other things. It is a machine built on prejudices, incapable of critical thinking, repeating the same mistakes humanity already made, over and over.

And the process of blending people's entire life of work also happens to be polluting. So much more than cryptos ever managed to be. Soon enough, major companies also got involved and collectively decided to trash any sort of sustainability goal in order to invest in the new fad. When asked, some of them even mentioned that they were fully aware it was unsustainable, but that they believed that generative AI could simply give them a solution to the ever-growing energy needs. Surely it will be generative AI that will find the long-awaited answer to nuclear fusion. It has to. The power grid cannot handle it as it is.

And now, these same tech bros, maybe vindicated by how artists refused to collaborate in their latest crypto scam, or maybe just eager to have a few extra bucks, decided to put their new technology into use. Replace the same artists whose work they had stolen with generative AI. Take the artist out of the equation, remove the humanity out of creativity. It is late capitalism and massified consumerism at its worse. People do love their media, everyone enjoys a show or a videogame every now and then. But what if we could now remove any sort of actual human touch in there? What if we managed to, instead, make a machine churn out content over and over, to keep the audiences fed, to keep money rolling in, at the simple cost of removing humankind from artistic creation?

We have now these same artists that provided us with our childhood favorites unemployed, striking, making noise, as a last attempt to recover the jobs they are quickly losing. We have artists that devoted their entire careers into honing their craft seeing how people replicated it by stealing every single piece of art they had created. We have mocking echoes replicating the art of people already gone, their life's work taken and reproduced long after their death.

Science fiction has covered a lot, and there are plenty of stories about robots being made in order to replace human labor. Many of these stories humanize the robots, who develop dredges of sentience and revolve against their forced labor. But generative AI is a different story. It is a completely insentient program, owned and developed by large corporations, that is here to steal and replace what is one of the most important human virtues. Creativity is one of the major aspects of humanity. We have dug out pieces from millenia ago, small decorated pottery and painted caves, that evidence that we already had that in common with our oldest ancestors. We have been drawing and telling each other stories ever since we could paint with our fingers and communicate with each other.

And now we have developed a machine that takes that from us. It isn't here to help us carry groceries, take out the trash or do any of these mundane tasks. It is here to take away our hobbies and creative jobs, take away our amusement, and replace whatever art we once consumed with whatever slop it managed to vomit. And it is such a deeply disturbing concept that directly competes with some of the most horrifying dystopian ideations ever written.

[ardbar]

You! You get it!! They keep the Pros mad and the Noobs, not because they hate the Noobs too, but because they need the Pros to Fear What Could Be. I wonder how often a Pro falls and their former neighbors look at them with terror, thinking, "that could have been me." But it comes out as angry words towards their once friend. Their friend knows that it is fear they speak with, not anger, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.

As for the Masters, I wonder if they even Know beyond Theory. Like yeah, they know it isn't great on the Noob level. But they don't ever go down that far. They don't know that they're only given raw meat to eat and they have to risk their lives to do so, they don't know that the education system is Literally Nonexistent, they don't know that a Noob's life span is not counted in decades like theirs, or years like the Pros, or even in months, but in weeks. In days. They don't know that the average life span for them is only a few weeks.

This is not willful ignorance, not fully. They have never been down that far. They have never even considered the possibility that something could be that wrong, because surely the Champion wouldn't ever allow anything to get that bad, right? After all, he says that the Noobs are fine and it's dangerous to go down that far anyways. They don't have the safety blanket of the Pro Level if they miss a jump.

Just like with Evbo, how can they possible ask for an answer to a question they do not know exists?

But Evbo is the champion now and even when he was only a master, he shone light on what was happening down there. He claims that when he left he was considered not just an elder, but *ancient*. They ask how old he is, thinking he must be nearing 100 or 200, but he simply replies, "I am five years old."

OOO it would have been really cool to see people actually rank down and see how others view that. I wonder if there would be any sympathy, or if they would blame the fallen person. If they had been good enough they would never have fallen, they should have just done better.

Also your point about the master's I think is very interesting. It is personally not something I have given too much thought to until now so please forgive me if my points aren't as thought out as they could be. I really like how you describe the master's just being ignorant of the life in the noob level, they only have passing knowledge of it. But I also think this would be true of their knowledge of the pro level as well. While we don't know exactly how long the champion before Evbo had taken over for we can assume it's a decent amount of time because the system seems pretty set in stone with very few people fighting against it. What this means is a majority of the people on the master level were probably placed there by Seawatt and his whole memory lab thing. It was also mentioned that Master's almost never go down to the pro level. I think they would create an ignorance of not only the noob level but of the entire system. I think this would also really parallel how out of touch rich people but specifically how people born into the with wealthy are.

I think this adds an extra layer of it because it would make it so the masters are just as much a victim of this system even if it does benefit them. Many of them may look down on the pros, and noobs but they still do believe that through hard work it is possible for new members to join their ranks. Their actions aren't malicious they have just never been given a reason to not trust the system. Its the same reason old people say oh if you set aside x amount of money you can buy a house easily. That is there lived experience they can't comprehend this changing. At best masters have a basic understanding of the pro level and since everything is relatively normal there they have no reason to wonder what the noob level is like.

Also I love the whole, "I'm 5" line that would be super intertesing to see someone do something with that.

[handweavers]

if there's one thing about being an adult and living in and going to other people's houses that ive discovered it's that i'm actually really clean and organized as a person my mom is just mentally unwell (←says with immense affection) and expects everything to be perfectly pristine and in its place constantly forever or she gets anxiety attacks and can't rest until everything is clean to her satisfaction. and i got some of that from her but she is convinced her standard is normal, and i get why because my grandma was the same way and she was the perfect "house wife" in terms of her domestic capabilities with everything always in its place in a way that appeared effortless and she'd get massive anxiety if it wasn't. and it's because they both have/had this thing where cleaning and organizing soothes them, they self soothe by doing house chores, when they are frustrated or upset about something they reorganize the kitchen or bathroom or deep clean the whole house. and i got that too of course i was raised with both of them as my primary caregivers but i got it most strongly when it comes to my body and feeling clean like at my worst i would shower 5 times a day because i never felt clean enough and it would calm me. but i'm also trans and since i medically transitioned that compulsion has eased to a more manageable level lol i wonder why. but it's one of those things where these compulsions are so normalized that my mom doesn't fully comprehend that most other people are not as clean and organized as she is so in her mind i'm the messiest person on the planet and doesn't understand why most people come away from knowing me thinking that i'm a really clean person shrjwidjarbhwdiajfnsjdk

[myfandomrealitea]

ok I’ll be honest, I was one of the people who approached your safe space post with the mindset “yeah, but…” like, I now whole-heartedly agree that there should absolutely be fandom spaces devoid of real world issues. We all need our spaces to rest and relax. I think I just felt weird about your post because previously ive been in fandom spaces which did operate on the (perfectly fine) rule of ‘no politics’…but ‘politics’ would also include talking about a gay ship or any queer headcannons.

That obviously wasn’t fair to you because you obviously didn’t mean that w/ your post, but I can personally see as to why some people would feel that way if they were in similar fandom spaces. I do still want to reiterate I do agree with your post and I think some of the rebloggers took it…a bit far? Like Jesus Christ some of y’all need to eat a snickers. I also think some of the wording like “bitching about world issues” and “whining about their shitty parents” might’ve thrown me off but that’s not your fault and really a non-issue 🤷🏽‍♀️

you can delete this ask if you want I really won’t mind, I think I can just see as to why there were so many ‘yeah, but…’ rebloggers.

I actually really appreciate asks like this. For a multitude of reasons, but also because it gives really good insight and outer perspective for both me and other people who are aware of or involved in the discussion.

I think what a lot of people don't yet grasp about me is that while I may hold an opposing view to yours (general, not directed), in the vast majority of cases I still very much understand why people would think the way they do and where that thought process comes from and goes.

Its very, very easy to fall into the mindset of thinking that not helping when you have the ability to makes you a bad person or however in/directly causes suffering. Its very easy to be in the mindset of one single individual making a magnitude of difference.

I fully and genuinely understand and comprehend a lot of the points being brought up.

I just don't agree with them and hold a different outlook on those issues.

For example:

Talking about enjoying a queer ship to me is not 'political' in the sense that, personally, if you're a homophobe and upset by generic conversations about queer people, I really could not give a fuck. And if you raise objections to me talking about two dudes kissing, I'm simply going to remove you from my space because clearly it is not beneficial for either of us to share it. And I made it.

Its obviously very very much down to personal discretion to decide where that line is and what that bracket encompasses, but I think the most universal aspect of that safe space post was trying to get people to understand that forcing others to suffer in solidarity isn't activism and that strangers are not obligated to allow you to use them as support and a dumping ground for your needs.

Spreading around videos of people's dead loved ones isn't activism.

Spamming taglines and buzzwords on completely unrelated posts and videos isn't activism.

Relying on complete strangers for emotional and mental support and regulation while dumping vulnerable, graphic, personal information on them is neither safe nor healthy.

People are not obligated to smother or confine their happiness because of your misery. If you're having a bad day you have no right to tell other people they can't be happy in front of you.

A lot of people, mostly white knighters and people of color took the post as "a white privileged pig saying its okay to let racism slide because you want to play your video games" (actual hate mail I received) and that's so laughably and wildly far from the actual basis of the post.

I've had bigots in my servers before. Homophobes or racists who've slipped through the cracks.

You know what happens when they say something homophobic or racist?

They're immediately removed, blocked and reported, and their information is placed in a private document I keep. I issue an apology to the members of the server for their actions, and life goes on.

People are, of course, entitled to take the post as they see fit. They're entitled to their own perspectives and opinions. I'm more than happy to simply focus on the people who have taken support, guidance and solace in the post.

[angelicpoison12]

Hi! If you’re comfortable with this, I was wondering if you could write an Angel Dust x blind male reader oneshot. Maybe Angel is very over protective of the reader, because to him they’re fragile and he wants to make sure that they don’t get hurt. But he also feels bad that the reader can’t see what he looks like. But maybe in the end, the reader comforts him and shows that they are ok. If you’re not comfortable writing this, I completely understand ✨

absolutely!! especially since its officially Disability Pride Month, i'm more than happy to write this! also PS-i'm sorry if some of this is inaccurate :(( i tried my best to write in a blind reader's POV from what i know and have seen via blind content creators

— ✃☕︎︎ — 

being in Hell sucked, but being blind was worse.

you were thankful that Charlie had brail books available in Alastor's library, and that everyone seemed patient with your disability. you tried to avoid asking for help most of the time, even when it was very clear that you needed help with something.

one of the more sympathetic people to your situation was Angel Dust. he was often seen by your side, always there to help you. it was annoying sometimes, but it was better than being ignored you supposed. "heya toots," you heard. you squeaked, flailing around before hearing, "no, no-hey, 's okay. it's just me, Angel." you sighed a breath of relief. you were currently sitting in Alastor's library, sitting at a table, reading a brail book. your white cane was by your side by your left leg, and you were still in your pajamas. or, well whatever you considered pajamas.

"oh.. hey Angel," you responded quietly. Angel scooted a chair to the side, sitting beside you. he then asked, "you alright, toots? you aren't as bubbly as usual." he said. you grunted, feeling the soft bumps on the book against your forefinger and thumb, trying to figure out what the phrase said. "just trying to think.." you muttered. you then asked, "Angel, could i get a translation? does this say, 'bread for me', or 'dough for me'?"

Angel was quick to glance at the book, his hand on top of yours. he looked at the English writing translation and said, "it says 'bread for me' toots." "ah, okay. thanks," you continued to read quietly, and Angel observed you. he was honestly really proud of you. he didn't fully comprehend your disability, but he could imagine it fucking sucked.

"say toots, lets get outta here. you haven't ventured outside of the hotel ever since ya been here." "maybe because i can't see where i'm going twenty-four-seven?" you snapped, making Angel wince a little. you sighed and rubbed the bridge of your nose. "fuck, i'm sorry.. this is just still hard to get used to," you admitted, feeling sad. "hey, hey, it's okay, toots. you just.. you're adjusting. and its okay to get frustrated," Angel said. you felt his nose against your cheek, then his lips. you giggled-it tickled.

"lets get shopping, yeah? you need to feel more than some bumps for a little bit. whataya say, hm?" the idea made you feel a bit excited, but nervous as well. you knew Angel wouldn't allow anything bad to happen to you. "yeah.. yeah, i'd like that, Angel." you said, smiling for the first time all day. "great! want me to help ya pick out an outfit?" "nah, i've got it, but thanks."

you indeed needed help.

when you came out of your room with your handy dandy cane, Angel couldn't help but burst into laughter at your outfit. you didn't know what he was laughing about, so it made you severely confused. "oh toots, i don't mean to laugh but.. doll, you're wearin' a sweatshirt? it's summer, baby!" "so? i like the feeling of this sweater," you said defensively, but it had a playful edge to it. Angel came closer to you. he felt the fabric; it was a soft felt. "mm.. red suits ya, toots." red. so that was the color of the sweatshirt, huh?

Angel decided to take you to his favorite clothing store. thank god it wasn't a BDSM shop. he joked how that type of store would still be a fun sensory experience, but you retaliated heavily.

"how do ya like this one, toots? it's a nice pink," he said, grabbing a pink tie and showing it to you. he guided your hand to the fabric, letting you touch it. you grimaced. "ick, velvet.. nope, nope, nope... no velvet." "ya don't like velvet? why?" "it's too rough. it makes me gag," you told Angel. you rolled your cane around, feeling his leg. "is that you, Angel?" you asked. "yup, that's me, doll." "oh-i'm sorry," "you're fine, baby. don't even worry about it,"

the shopping experience was oddly fun. you found yourself feeling a ton of textures that you knew of but hadn't taken the sensory feel of them into consideration ever since being alive. you discovered that you didn't like microfiber stuff either; it made you want to grind your teeth into pebbles.

back at the hotel, you were in the library again with Angel. you were feeling your favorite shirt you had gotten from the shops. it was a black turtleneck shirt with an embroidery heart on the left breast pocket. the heart had beads and gemstones on it. you were constantly feeling over it with your thumbs, trying to figure out if you could make some sort of brail out of it.

Angel thought the sight was adorable. he asked, "can i pet ya hair, toots?" you were a little hesitant, but nodded. you hummed when his soft, gloved claws went to your hair, stroking the locks back with gentle swipes, his thumb occasionally brushing against your forehead. your eyes closed involuntarily, the darkness that clouded your vision not changing.

"Angel.. do you have multiple arms-?" you asked, feeling two arms pull you closer to him, his other hands in your hair. he nodded with a soft hum. "mhm. i'm a spider, toots. i've got six arms, actually. i just keep my third set hidden." Angel told you. you nodded slowly. you nestled your head into his neck, squeaking when you realized he was fluffy.

"Angel, you're really soft," you exclaimed gently. he smiled, guiding your hand to his chest. you squeezed, and he groaned as he chuckled, "oof, not too hard, baby. grabby little thing, ain'tcha?" he giggled, and you turned bright red, realizing what you were grabbing. "wait, if you're.. a boy, then how come you have breasts?" "well they're not necessarily tits, dollface. its my fluff. i just brush 'em up to look like tits." "oh." "god, you're adorable,"

Angel could definitely get used to this. who would've thought only being able to feel and touch would be so heavenly? maybe this wasn't so bad after all, especially if you got an excuse to snuggle up to this fluffy spider all day.

[monsterblogging]

So, it finally clicked that while the average person does in fact broadly comprehend that people are neither good nor evil - they're good and bad, and have free will - they also can't understand why some people would fully commit themselves to completely awful causes or to being a terrible person throughout their entire lives. They can't really picture how this works, because they can't imagine themselves choosing to die on a hill of Being A Terrible Person.

This void in their comprehension is where the myth of the Ontologically Evil Person is very likely to come and settle in sooner or later, because it seems to finally provide an answer that makes sense of otherwise senseless cruelty and violence. Agonizing questions like "Why would my boyfriend spend so much energy on making me feel like shit and breaking me down?" "Why would this historical figure decided to kill all of these people?" and "Why would this guy go start a cult and murder everyone?" are finally given an answer, and the formerly-bewildered person finally has some peace of mind.

Because of this, the myth of the Ontologically Evil Person is incredibly hard to get out of people's minds once it takes root. For one thing, bad ideas are like bad habits; it doesn't really work to tell people to Just Stop With Them, because without something else to take its place? They're going to fall back on it.

And if somebody's been traumatized from abuse? The last thing they want to hear is that they're basically dehumanizing their abuser and that's not cool, because it feels to them like the other person is taking their abuser's side and telling them to get fucked. Even if this not what's happening, the survivor's brain is currently operating on fight/flight/fawn/freeze mode, and a brain operating fight/flight/freeze/fawn mode is keyed to making snap decisions to try and remove you from the danger as soon as possible, which means categorizing everything into black and white. This person couldn't care less about the history of eugenics right now; literally all they care about is being safe.

"Okay, so if the Ontologically Evil Person doesn't exist, how the hell do you explain those fuckers over there?" some of you are probably asking.

Here's the deal. Literally every human being alive can and will do terrible things if they're sufficiently scared and desperate. They're in no position to appreciate that nearly all asshole behavior can be explained by a lack of critical social and self-management skills, or by a lack of access to self-improvement (including being too traumatized to trust means of self-improvement).

People who are scared, insecure, and under high levels of stress will often cling to anything that makes them feel better, because they want to feel safe and secure and not in psychological and/or physical agony. (Stress does an absolute number on your body, too.)

Being reliant on a shitty behavior, belief system, or product for some measure of feeling secure and safe is how you get people saying things like "If I didn't act mean, everyone would just walk all over me!" or "I was really depressed before I found this, so if I gave it up I'm going to get depressed again, and I might hurt myself." (And there might be some truth to this one! This might indeed happen if they give it up cold turkey, and without finding an alternative!) It's how you get people conducting """scientific""" studies to """prove""" that their bigotry is totally justified and not at all irrational. ("Well of course these people are genetically inferior, they wouldn't be poor and disease-ridden if they weren't... what do you mean, systemic inequality and uneven healthcare access? No that's obviously fake and made up by More Bad People.")

People also act in unhealthy ways to deal with personal insecurities implanted by parents or society. You have people out there whose parents drummed it into their heads that second place was for worthless losers, or that no one would love them if they didn't look or act a certain way. You have people who absorbed the idea that acknowledging the basic humanity of shitty people means that they have to forgive them and personally help them get better and just suffer through the abuse in the meantime.

This is how people choose to die on the hill of Being A Terrible Person. They weren't ontologically evil. They were scared, and they thought they saw a fortress on the top of that hill that would keep them (and perhaps also their loved ones) safe.

[velvet-vox]

All of the points that go in favour/against Doll coming back to life.

So, originally, I wanted to make a post of theory/analysis on Cyn and the possibility of her being redeemed at the end of the show; one of the points that I was going to make for said redemption was that Doll's death was meant as a cautionary tale, the main team of the series is abuse and how trauma affects us into becoming the worst version of ourselves, Doll was a trauma victim who was so dead set in her unhealthy coping mechanism that she ended screwing over her entire life, granted said redemption for Doll wasn't unreachable as showcased by her last living moments, but by then the damage was done; Cyn, on the other hand, could have potentially realised all of the harm she was doing even as far back as before the gala massacre, but then, it kind of reminded me why I ended up never making that post.

You see, the thing is, I don't understand Cyn.

At all.

Like, I also for the longest time couldn't understand Doll despite being hyper obsessed with her, and took over a year, countless analyses done by other people and (unfortunately) episode 7 until I could finally come to understand her to the deep, narrative level that I do now, and I still don't know if I truly got everything.

But with Cyn, not only do I not understand her like I do with other characters, but..... I also kind of feel left out.

To me, it seems like the fanbase at large is obsessed with this little gremlin; I'm autistic as well, since that's the main head canon floating around, yet I don't really relate to a word she says, to me, the hype surrounding Cyn feels similar to the hype surrounding Nori pre episode 7: we have this almost blank slate character that is characterized enough to not be an head canon dump, she is super relevant to both the plot and to one of the protagonist backstory, it's one of the main antagonistic forces, and is generally super important.... Yet I still don't get her nor do I get her surrounding hype. I've read a couple of analyses, and would gladly accept if someone sent me some more, since just a single Murder Drones character requires a lot of digging to fully comprehend in its entirety.

But finally going back to Doll, I want to make a short list of all the points in favour and against a possible resurrection of her character, starting with the pros.

Pros:

- Doll is definitely a big selling point for the russian audience of Murder drones, as I have seen various people lament her death on the fact that she was russian alone; funnily enough, this was also my main reasoning to not kill her off as I and other people started learning russian all because of her.

- Gonna reiterate the fact that Doll is, currently, peak russian representation, and it just feels rather insensitive from Liam to kill her off permanently when there's already Yeva and her dad, two russians, whose death is much more acceptable.

- Doll, unlike Alice, Beau, Rebecca or others, had so much potential as a character, being Uzi's foil and all, and to not capitalize on that would be a huge waste.

- Her death, although very impactful, was not, per se, as narratively satisfying as it could have been (see Nox from Wakfu), so it might've been a mislead, and if V comes back, there's a chance Doll might come back too since Doll x V is the parallel dynamic to Uzi x N.

- Gonna mention personal bias. It's not important nor is it a valid point but it had to be mentioned.

- Doll parents are already dead but we had a whole Yeva flashback in episode 7 that I can't explain in ways other than she'll be relevant in the future, and if she turns out to be alive, even if mind controlled, Doll's death is inevitably going to lose a lot of impact because, as it stands, it's balanced, but with the twist, it could retroactively feel like drama porn.

- She wasn't unreademable, just unreachable and deeply hurt, if she had a second chance to make up for her mistakes I believe she would take it in a heartbeat, I can only imagine the immense amount of guilt she was feeling while dying, she must've realised she only caused more damage in the long run and couldn't do anything to fix it, so if she could help Uzi out even as a digital ghost, it might just give her the sense of closure she so desperately needed.

- If Nori can come back as a core, so can Doll, they just need to cut Cyn stomach in a non lethal way.

And now, for the sadly more probable cons:

- This is Liam Vickers we are talking about.

- Even with all of her potential, hers and her family backstory feel rather.... disconnected from everything else going on right now? Like, Yeva might have been this important figure into Nori's past, but as of right now, aside from her impact, she really doesn't seem too relevant to the main plot; same thing with Doll, in fact, it was Doll's own insistence to be relevant that led to her demise, because, despite everything, the story revolves around N and Uzi manages to survive because she is important to N, and even then, she still sacrifices her own life for him.

- The narrative has always been pretty disrespectful to her? Like, I'm not talking about her sad backstory, sad development, and even sadder death, (this master guide over here realistically had no end in sight as you could just go on and on forever) I mean in general there was a clear lack of commitment to her side of things from the writing team, I think I've read somewhere else that in the original animation Uzi even walked on Doll's body as she was running to N; many theorised that they only came up with her story only after the pilot dropped, and I can't help but think that it has to be true because she had this air of mystery that in my opinion went anywhere and in the pilot she's a background character. I don't know, from a supposedly sympathetic villain the writing was rather unsympathetic towards her whole situation and she felt more like your average b##ch in the episodes following the prom.

- She still fulfilled her limited narrative role, so changing it back could alter future developments and remove impact from the tragedy of this cautionary tale, since, in all honesty, Doll's side story would require the show to switch off the plot too much and unfortunately that's never been a priority for the writing team. Also bringing back up Nox from Wakfu (still gonna make that comparison post) whose Doll shares some themes with, even though his personal story was extremely tragic, it was extremely disconnected from all of the main characters as he was more of a warmup baddie for Yugo to get in the groove, and he never returned physically aside from passive mentions and an illusion.

- I don't think they went out of the way to showcase Cyn eating Doll's core just for it to be a fake out.

- Even with all of my personal biases, aside from her starring episode she never had a real purpose in the grand scheme of things so her death was probably just a way to cut off loose ends.

- She isn't a protagonist despite what she deluded herself into, so plot armour applies even less to her than it does with the main trio (spoiler: it doesn't).

Ultimately, in my heart and mind, despite what I really want, I know Doll's not coming back.

She was disrespected, screwed over by both the writing and her own twisted mind, and since this is a somewhat heavy horror show despite the comedy, I really don't think we are going to see her reunited with her parents as a ghost nor will she be in robot hell or heaven, I really think she is just dead.

That's so sad. What a shame.

Farewell, comrade.

Want more?

[magpod-confessions]

Hello "The Dark should be a part of the Stranger" anon! I strongly (but respectfully) disagree;

The Stranger is very specifically about social fears, at least to me. It's the idea/fear that you can't see inside someone's head, the idea that you can never truly fully KNOW someone (hence why its portrayed as a foil to the Eye) and while I do feel like TMA fumbled the bag in some aspects with representing the Stranger, I think that combining the Dark and the Stranger would kind of adulterate the themes of the Stranger (E.g., the Vast has the more abstract fear of insignificance and the Buried has the more abstract fear of not being able to grow or get better). To me, it makes complete sense that Smirke would distinguish between these two concepts (we have to remember that it's not the Fears themselves that chose to be divided this way but rather how the avatars and societies operate around fear that causes the divides)

Being afraid of the dark is a very common experience, to where I do feel like it warrants it's own recognition as a Fear. While I do agree that statements on the Dark can be a little bland I don't really see why combining the Stranger and the Dark would make those statements more interesting. Something that I've always liked the idea of was expanding the general idea of the Dark to other senses like touch, hearing, etc or using the Dark less as something that functions on it's own but rather a fear that works best when combined with others, which the show does do relatively often iirc (e.x., A Father's Love)

It's been awhile since I've listened to TMA admittedly? So feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but I've always been rather passionate about the Fears and their themes. Additionally, this is. Just how I view the Stranger and the Dark. And I like to think that my interpretation is a good one but everyone has their own

If the mods have the time and energy, I'd be interested to see your thoughts as well (🗣)

I have no clue what ask youre referring to but yea agree. The dark is separate from the stranger and I agree with what youre saying a lot. ALSO AGAIN. AGAIN GUYS. THE FEARS BLEED INTO EACHOTHER A LOT ITS HUMANS TRYING TO LABEL AN ABSTRACT CONCEPT THAT CANNOT PROPERLY BE COMPREHENDED IN SIMPLE TERMS. PLS GUYS. HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO DO THIS.

yeaahhhh . exactly - deceit

[mikailys]

MCL NewGen Ep 8 Commentary

Ik it's late and that several days have passed since the episode's release, but I wanted to wait a bit to let my thoughts simmer and write my review with a cool head. I need to rant about it so sit tight 'cause this one in particular is though lol.

As it was advertised, the whole episode revolves around Roy and a peculiar hobby of his: skinny dipping. Thomas is the one who spills the beans -as always- and everyone is curious about it. Roy explains that he only does it after the swimming pool closing hour and you know what: that is fine by me. Is it weird? Yes, but I'm not supposed to care what my co-workers do in their freetime so I personally don't mind.

And, unfortunately, that's all. To sum up, the plot is "co-workers try to go undercover to spy on their other coworker while he's skinny dipping :|

Since I don't like Roy, the premise of this ep didn't really appeal to me at all. But, weirdly enough, it had the opposite effect 'cause I've spent its whole duration feeling sorry for him. He gets the possibility once a month to train alone in a professional pool, and the six of us -which I recall you are his co-workers and his boss- have nothing better to do than to go spying on him? Just because they thought he subtly implied he wanted them to come see him?!

One. It is false since during the whole workday they kept "catcalling" him and joking about it and he wasn't really pleased to say the least. He put on a brave face, endured the working hours, and then left the office asap.

Two. You're adults, fully grown adults that are acting like literally teens. It's not normal for grown-ups to feel excited, see Elenda and Thomas, to play spies to see your co-worker naked. It is weird and creepy.

I'm glad at least I wasn't the only sane person to comprehend this was wrong and absurd on so many levels. Paradoxically enough, the only one I found myself agreeing with was Amanda, a character I couldn't stand until now, she gained a tons of points in my eyes + she's also a girl's girlie so gg.

Also, special mention to the hint of peer pressure put on Candy and Amanda by the quartet. I didn't like it at all and it shouldn't be even a thing considering the context.

No is no, even if Roy supposedly enjoys voyeurism, I personally do not.

This is really a shame cause they butchered so many characters with this unnecessary sketch, Thomas being the worst of them in my eyes. I'm not sure if my perception of him was wrong from the start, but I don't recognize this character at all. Silly jokes, creepy hobbies, and an immature, teenage-like attitude were never traits I would have attributed to him. I know I keep repeating myself but it's truly a shame that such poor writing has impacted the perception and development of the characters, which now seems clearly different from how they were portrayed in the beginning...

Going forward, I made then the choice to leave with Amanda and warn Roy about their ambush. It was nice to have that option tbh. The whole scene afterwards, sneaking into the public pool and hiding in the lockers, was utterly embarrassing because it’s not the kind of behavior you’d expect from people in their late twenties, but whatever the problem it's the whole context so I can't complain about it too much.

Then Roy catches the sextet and pulls off his counter-prank. After snitching on us, we all decided it was a good time to play with water guns. Again, the idea was fun and silly in a good way, but context-wise mmh...

Now the long-awaited moment I've been patiently waiting for: the encounter with Jason.

Look at him I love him sm nsgsg

I had no idea how they would include him in the episode since he practically had nothing to do with the Devenemential gang. And honestly -unpopular opinion- they probably should have left him out of this messy episode because the reason they gave for his involvement didn’t fully convince me, and the special scene was disappointing.

Apparently, he also has deals with the guards -worst security protocol ever if you ask me- and he goes there once a week to train. And here I was thinking that the CEO of a famous and well-known company would have a private pool or the means to rent one lol. Looks like everyone's feeling the pinch these days. Good job Jason, saving money like the rest of us poor unfortunate souls, such a relatable boss.

Fun fact, it appears one of his dreams is to defeat Roy? In a swimming competition?? Like, okay? I'll gladly be there to root for you the day you actually succeed then dear.

Well maybe not everyone shares the same hobbies as you and Roy, Candy. Besides, why would he know about Roy's interests?? He's not as deranged as Thomas, who keeps tabs on his colleagues' private lives...

ANYWAY. Candy feels cold and needs to get out of the pool if she doesn’t want to catch pneumonia. Jason offers to help her by closing his eyes, but she’s not fully convinced. Again, NOT EVERYONE IS A PERV, CANDY. You're just the unlucky girl who's got to work with them. In fact you should bring him to Devenemential to have him teach your colleagues the art of not being crazy maniacs, I'm sure that could be of help.

I won't spend too many words on the next scene since I've already made a whole ass post ranting about it and sharing my headcanon. However, regarding the mistress scene, I will say that yes, it was poorly executed. But if the entire episode had followed this direction I would have gladly signed off on it because, all things considered, it’s not even remotely comparable to the plot we've endured so far.

Now for the special scene I am conflicted. Ngl I really thought for a split second that we actually managed to kiss him, but I quickly snapped back to reality when I realized it was just Candy being delusional and I am just as much as her. She must have ingested way too much chlorine to be having such a mental trip lol. Anyway, I didn't like it very much because it was clear that BV didn't know what to come up with. The fact that they managed to incorporate Jason into the plot was something, but asking for a well-written special scene was apparently too much.

On a side note, I’m DEAD TIRED of having to endure the worst humiliations in every single episode when we’re on Jason’s route. It's pretty embarrassing, and, at lest for me, it’s not easy to move forward without cringing every few minutes. Moreover, it always seems like he has to have the upper hand in every situation. When is our Candy going to stop acting like a fool and step up her game??

And that's all, the episode ends with Candy leaving the pool, wondering if she and Jason will ever stop meeting in the most weird way spoiler: you won't i assure you.

Now for the next episode I fear we’re in for another ‘fun’ plot since it’s called A Child at Heart, but honestly I have no idea what these interns will actually get up to. Maybe the theme will revolve around generational differences, since they seem to be Gen Z while our colleagues are more on the border of being Millennials? Idk but I do really hope the writing will be better than in this ep.

All things considered, I still have faith in BV. I know they have the ability to write a good story with a solid foundation when they want to—it’s just that I don’t know what’s happening with this series in particular. As other players have pointed out, it feels like this plot was originally conceived when NG was still set in a high school, and now they’re trying to repurpose it in a more 'adult' way. The problem is, it’s just not working.

The Halloween event is approaching, and let’s hope it can alleviate some of the discontent in the community. Hopefully the upcoming episodes will be better since they’ve addressed the topic in the forums but we'll see.

[blue-thief]

Ok. Thoughts on the Itoshi Sibs / their parallels with Isagi?

HELLO this took forever for me to answer because summer school and the sadness. as you know.

also i went too crazy with tying blue lock into my fixation with japanese nationalism so it got way too complex and i got scared but now i'm just gonna make that its own post (<- said the same thing about bsd. that analysis about bsd's connection with japanese nationalism has been sitting in my docs for a year now i think)

(smh this is what happens when the japanese imperial army almost wipes out your entire bloodline /gen /srs)

anyway. all that waiting to say that rin is... just some guy to me

usually a fw anime boys named rin. esp if they're the sworn rival of the plain protagonist. not necessarily this one though

i have no clue why he doesn't scratch my brain properly. he just doesn't. i need to spend a good three hours staring at the ceiling at night to figure that out

when you first sent me this i didn't really care for sae much either. now i do

that's how long this has been sitting in my drafts 😃😃

(i've written and scrapped thousands of words for this ask sob sob)

(this answer wasn't even formatted this way originally)

i've probably told you the story of how sae grew on me before but like

i don't plan out my fics right

i do play out random scenes in my head to test out if i like them or not

(shivers because updating my fic is another thing that is taking forever.......)

and i was just fucking around with random jokes kaiser and sae could say to each other

then i imagined sae smiling

and i was like "what the fuck... why is that so endearing........"

that was the turning point but it really was a lot of sitting and contemplating sae's character honestly

to really understand him and why he'd be friends with kaiser

and sae is kinda just like me frfr

that guy can't do anything other than soccer/football. he has nothing going on beyond that

and yeah. yeah... i get that.......

it's the reason why i like a bunch of other bllk characters but it's most pronounced with sae yk

(SORRY MR. SNUFFY)

and like. just his inability to be a normal fucking person 😭😭 too real

anyway those are my general itoshi brothers thoughts

now for the parallels part.

(this is the part that killed me and i wanna go more in-depth. but i'm saving that for another post. because holy shit my original idea was so fucking ambitious)

i had other thoughts and god i wish i wrote that stuff down

but the major thing i want to get into here is dependence

isagi is independent. soo independent it's kinda crazy

this was outlined most during the second selection with bachira where he had to learn to play by himself

meanwhile there's rin who seems independent on the surface

however, rin has always been dependent on sae in one way or another

when they were younger, rin was dependent on sae to take care of and guide him

rin also depended heavily on sae on the field

now that they are older, sae's attempt to shake rin off has just made rin's dependence on sae even more intense, just in a different way

rin's only motivation to play soccer/football had been to "crush" sae

...but now he's met isagi

and his obsession has found a new object

with the recent chapters, now we know he places isagi and sae on a similar level in his personal hierarchy, and his desire to destroy sae has bled into rin's feelings toward isagi

while rin has only one rival, the same can't be said for isagi

isagi gains rivals like pokemon, and while they have all played a significant roll in isagi's development as a person and a character, his obsession doesn't consume him. in the PXG vs BM match, he's doesn't fully comprehend the effect he's had on kaiser and rin

and mannn i wish i could find this analysis, but it's gone now

but someone compared isagi's desire to "devour" to rin and nagi's desire to "kill"

I WISH I COULD REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT THEY SAID

but from what i remember, "devouring" someone is temporarily defeating them, but both parties ultimately improve so there's room for them to meet again and help each other improve even more

however, "killing" someone is defeating them completely so they're never able to play/improve ever again

which outlines the fact that while isagi can be a little bitch on the field, he wants his rivals to improve alongside him, and in the end, he wants the best for people (in terms of soccer/football)

which is why he never became overly-dependent on bachira and why he treats midfielders as actual human beings 😭😭

isagi is independent, but he pushes for the people around him to be just as independent

the itoshi brothers are different though

rin is codependent on sae, and you could say his hatred/obsession with isagi is a different type of codependency

but that thing about treating midfielders as human beings...

uh. that doesn't really apply to rin

sae is somewhat similar with how he "tamed" shidou but it's not THAT imbalanced lmao

there's also how the three of them are on different places of the striker-midfielder spectrum

in-universe and within the fandom, rin is perceived as japan's ultimate striker. his raw shooting power + metavision makes him perfect for this position.

however sae, another metavision user, is the perfect midfielder

then there's isagi who's tried emulating rin's play style at first but is ultimately most similar to sae, leading people to say that isagi is better suited to be a midfielder rather than a striker

while rin represents what the ultimate japanese striker is, something isagi is trying to reach, sae's path is one that isagi could easily fall down instead

many people have theorized that sae became a midfielder to improve rin's chances at becoming a better striker. sae may be considered to have a strong ego, but if this turns out to be true, that might not be the case lmao

errm. idk how to end this off. sorry for the wait sob sob