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lulue-xie · 2 years

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Half shock myself off my breakfast when i saw on my dash again the nsfw joke art i did

#i dont like it much #but its describe myself good #cant be serious more than one minute

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motherforthefamicom · 1 month

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redrew an oc thing from last year :3

#while working on this youtube wouldnt fucking load and i was trying to listen to an album so i sat there for like 20 minutes #trying to get it to work and it made so upset i got a headache #anyways #not including the original cuz honestly. this is barely a redraw of the contents its more abt the style / process i used #only one of these guys was in the original . the other two didnt even exist yet i think #actually. im not sure . their designs definetly didnt exist but i cant quite rmemeber when i was first coming up w their rough concepts #the proportions are probably awful i didnt sketch this out #but i dont care anymore ive barely been able to being myself to draw lately anythint is good enough #scribbles #ocposting #furry tag #sfw furry #anthro art #eyestrain #bright colors #eyestrain art #id in alt text #i dont eemmebrr what else to tag i feel like im forgetting somethint #the ID might be kinda bad srry #oc stuff is hard for me to describe especially cuz idfk how to explain their designs they just.. exist #artists on tumblr

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puppyeared · 5 months

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who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it

#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it #idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character #someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it #and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly #its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked #because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately #like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means #it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by #a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time #i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid #so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or #smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them #become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words #but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened #especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that #need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta #once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it #circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it #actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt #i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me #that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly #mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them #have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP #IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL #yapping

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bawdza · 1 year

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One throw-away line about Vi being a bad class president from her ex, I have cork boarded so many narratives.

#twdg #twdg violet #twdg minerva #losing my mind actually #nobody knows how delusional i am about vi and minerva's past #this stuff has been brewing since 2019 im actually so cringe #Maybe its the writing #maybe i have a poor grasp for social cues #but the way vi described her relationship w minnie always felt a bit distant #yeah she lonely shes grieving #but the bond wasnt felt #i used to find a way to queerbait myself i know an inseparable and healthy bond when i see one #also hi to the new people that passed by #if this passed your feed again im sorry but i am really like this #anyway have a good day i have a review class this week #my art

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drumlincountry · 3 months

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Having self worth issues about the stupidest shit possible so lets focus instead on my courgette plants that are now FLOWERING

#I'm actually going to describe what i'm mad at myself about so #We can all roll our eyes about it together #Myself & another activist are the main ones pushing our local Palestine solidarity group to do more BDS actions.#& we had two events about it this week. One had less than 10 people show up including the two of us #WHICH ACTUALLY. IS NOT BAD AT ALL GIVEN THE SIZE OF THE TOWN #Population percentage wise that's like having 7500 ppl turn up at ur event in Dublin!! I should feel good about it #And then today on no notice I was asked to speak to a crowd of ppl about BDS #So I. Just kind of winged it. Wung it. Gave a very basic intro to bds & namechecked some companies & mentioned upcoming local events.#& then after that when talking to ppl in the crowd it transpired that all of them already knew the info I shared #But had little hope that anything we can do will have any effect in stopping the genocide & freeing Palestine #So i'm GUTTED I wasted an opportunity to mention the very real and very many successes of BDS & other boycott movements around the world #& also am having major imposter syndrome about presuming to be able to speak about BDS to an audience of ppl who are as knowledgeable as me #If not moreso!#So between these incidents & learning recently that someone I considered a friend doesn't consider me a friend i'm.....sad!#Local woman has self worth issues about not being able to single handedly end a genocide. And topple the western empire.#And not having many friends in her late 20s.#Its grrrrrreat 🙄

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goldkirk · 8 months

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as I'm going back over my past history and items and journals and years, I come across all sorts of things, like the pencil I saved from that so-precious memory from second grade, and a pair of flip flops I've been missing for two years, and [checks notes] the modern-high-school-AU-kidnapped-by-a-serial-killer story I wrote in late high school jdfsjdfsjkjlksfd

#i can't wait to find out what red flags I didn't see in my own self back when I last read this thing in 2015 hfdhfdhjsfd #also. there's gonna be like a good sentence here and there and then CRINGE. the whole rest of everything is just me still trying to copy th #breathing pace (essentially) and ways-of-describing-things of mainstream authors like I thought I was supposed to #so this'll be somewhat painful but also god what a joy and a gift and an honor and a delight to get to hold this close to my heart #and witness it with understanding and empathy and slow reflection and care like my past younger self deserves #i'm so lucky i'm alive to be here and do this #i'm so grateful i'm headed towards welcoming back and embracing the last little girl i was that still felt a lot of things #so excited for her focus and precision and tenacity and constant curious joy and movement to be back someday #i'm afraid people won't like the me i was before rule after rule and then dangers #but my god it'll feel so good to be the fully-flowing energy machine and dance and conduit again how will I have enough bother to care?#people who are good to each others' nervous systems cumulatively feel better and better #if i'm not good for you and yours then you really truly SHOULD go elsewhere and find someone who makes YOUR self feel right and light + war #anyway now that i wrote an essay in the tags as usual [nervous laughter]#personal #add to journal #words n rhythm #WHY DID I FEEL CAPABLE OF UNDERTAKING A STORY LIKE THIS #cradling my past self gently but also BANGING my HEAD against the WALL lmao #i'm proud of myself for writing and sharing this and its creative ideas. even if i don't like it now or feel ashamed or see mistakes.#anything. it mattered that it came to me and it mattered that i explored it and it mattered that i poured myself through it to help shape i #and it mattered that I left it on the internet so that now it still exists. i'm going to honor this story no matter what current me would #objectively think about it if it was written by anyone else.#this is a gift i give myself now.#this is a lot of what I learn and learn to do #trauma evolution #mosswrites

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valeechtine · 16 days

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The thing is "forced diversity" only became a real thing after people online got called out for only ever having like white ocs or just Never making women [ESPECIALLY TRANS WOMEN] and now sometimes I see a character lineup and its like Oh I can like actively see the diversity checklist you were crossing off in your head specifically to try and get tumblr woke points because you are being so fucking Weird about this. Like in an effort to be like LOOK LOOK AT HOW DIVERSE MY CAST IS I AM ADVERTISING THIS BY JUST TELLING YOU ABOUT HOW DIVERSE EVERYONE IS YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW GENRE OR THEMES they make it so clear that making characters of color or women or disabled characters etc has to be a Conscious Choice instead of just. Something that comes naturally because that reflects our real world.

#Sorry I started thinking about that fuck ass paranormal park or whatever show #Makes a character who is a fat trans man. Makes his last name FUCKING GUTTMAN.#and again like. The complete performativeness of Woke Anachronisms #Like sorry man. If you make Sir Arthur and his knights do a pronoun circle thats stupid #The fact of the matter is a lot of the terms we use to describe things are new!#Like you don't have to have a character state every minute detail of themselves to be good rep #And frankly as someone who doesn't tend to bring things up unless its relevant like #I want more rep for people like me pleaaaaaase #There are so many of us that don't feel the need to be open with Strangers abt gender/sexuality/abled status/culture #like. It just isn't other peoples business!#I need to log off before I go on a tangent about how much I also fucking hate pronoun circles #I have to do them so much in college. Please. Please I'm so tired of how weird people are #If someone wants to know they can Ask Me stop making me choose between #Outting myself to the whole damn room or misgendering myself if the vibes aren't right #ANYWAYS. Bed time yaaaay ^w^#chittering

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eonars · 4 months

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um. tfw your life is about to change massively very very soon and it still doesn't even feel real yet and still feels like somethings gonna pop up and it won't actually happen and also you're scared as fuck that you're too stupid to actually do it and it'll all be for nothing

#like what do you mean full time salaried w benefits and paid vacation just to do. school.#what made you so enthusiastically think i was the perfect one to do this #when the last approx 20something other guys were like ummmm no you cannot do it #tbf like all that other shit up there aside #this did actually come at the perfect time #i look back on who i was during my masters and i legit do not recognize that person #i barely even remember it i have to look at pictures to think back on who i was #in a strange roundabout way being forced home to stay for a while #kind of re centered me and gave me time to come back to myself in a big way. i was really lost before #and chaining something like this directly after my masters would have been disasters #even like this time last year i did not have this level of mental clarity #and i think thats why i didn't get any of the other positions i was just in a fog and i think people could tell #so as much as like im super scared and nervous about this big change and big exit from my comfort zone #and a little sad and mournful that im leaving my family and wont hear my native language all day every day anymore #im the most ready ive ever been #2019 me was NOT ready im scared of her tbh!! idk what wave i was on but it was weirdo shit!#im also proud that i essentially rawdogged and brute forced a lot of introspection and improvement #entirely on my own #like i really can only just describe it as clarity i feel like i matured 10 years in 4 and cleared all the fog #i feel so good about the way i handle things and react to things now vs then #im like 500x more unbothered and actually know how to put myself first now #anyway uh this prob could have been its own post in and of itself #but woteva innit im proud of how much internal repairs i did on myself over the last few years #became a stable genius as it were #whos a lot more clearly defined and present #but fuck man! i am still scared of being 2stupid

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thetechnicolorphase · 1 year

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Fuck that bullshit, we’ll make it right!

redraw of my favorite NSP music video! reference screenshot is under the cut:

this music video is so cool LOL i even themed my main blog to it at time of posting this xD

#my art #fanart #nsp #ninja sex party #danny sexbang #ninja brian #Words cant describe how much i love the level up music video for 6969 #its so fun and colorful!!! i love stop motion!!!!#and YES. i painstakingly drew everything in the background myself. it took forever but was worth it cuz it looked so good

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honeyboyfelix · 4 months

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when you suddenly realize that you have no idea what your dnd characters personality traits are 🧍

#like yes i play her....no i couldnt describe her personality to you #except maybe shes the responsible on of the group but not the leader?#and shes a lesbian but unfortunately femme lesbian is not exactly a personality trait #having this realization because im trying to make her a playlist #but none of these songs are her vibes #cant ask the crew for their opinions either cause its like 3am so everyones asleep #unfortunately she has side character energy :(#theres an entire thesis i have in my brain about what characters i create to be rp support characters but we arent here for that #good news is that ive played so much ttrpgs that i can autopilot a personality bad news.......i can autopilot so well they just exist #like i can yes and like a motherfucker and come up with hills to die on on the spot #but i need to actually be....on the spot any time outside that im like hhhhhhh idk what id do #gonna go play 20 questions with myself rlly quick brb

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electricpurrs · 5 months

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im so fucking good at this game. as in probably not super good but playing it feels so smooth and natural. maybe having 40 hours in ultrakill HAS made me good at first person shooters. this is fucking awesome

#🧃#when i saw the game described as a ''speedrunning game'' i got really scared but its really not that bad #at least im going well so far #its really fun im having a good time getting used to the concept and the mechanics #i always described myself as being really bad at videogames but maybe thats just because i didnt play enough videogames to be good at it lo

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phantom-does-a-thing · 1 year

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Jay Ferin has curly hair and I think she should cut it short around her shoulders/chin bc I think she deserves the pure unadulterated euphoria of when you suddenly cut your overly long, not taken care of and overgrown hair and watching as your curls (previously pulled and frizzy from the weight of thick hair) bounce up for the first time in YEARS and you feel like yourself and you feel like a new person and you feel so much lighter physically and metaphorically and mentally and you see yourself for the first time and you see your CURLS not just the frizz. And I think Jay deserves that catharsis.

#im not projecting ahaha whos projecting?? ??? ahahaa #god im gonna make myself emotional though #its such a euphoric feeling not even in the gender way #it felt so good and I think Jay deserves that #I was gonna make more of a post describing her hair but then I just #yeah. She deserves it #jrwi #rambling #phever dreams with phantom

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ispyspookymansion · 7 months

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when making character playlists do you usually add any song that makes you think of them or try to stick to their vibe. i am Struggling

(follow up question: would you be interested in a benson playlist. im going insane over here)

usually i find it easier to make playlists that make me think of a character but if i find one with their vibe i’ll add it as well. i try to use some personal discretion and not add in things that feel SO egregiously off base, vibewise, but mostly i do it based on lyrics that make me think of them which admittedly can result in some He would not fucking listen to that playlist choices but i am doing this for ME ! (also sure yes of course i would! send it my way if you want to when its done! hes an interesting guy i havent found too many songs that clearly make me think of him either)

#trying to find the overlap of would listen to/describes them is So hard its not what i bind myself to really #kora.txt #asks #anons #+ ive been collecting general passengeresque songs some of them are one character specific a lot are general vibe or randy n benson dynamic #its fun!#i dont know that its good so im not sure i’ll share it but i have fun listening to it

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entropy-sea-system · 1 year

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Shoutout to pwnpd/narcissists who don't give a shit about friendship!!!

(/gen /pos, post made by a nonfriending aplatonic w npd)

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spitblaze · 9 months

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Not that Returnal is bad per se but I see the words 'roguelike bullet hell soulslike co-op' to describe a single game and my eyes glaze over

#spitblaze says things #to be fair. its not a soulslike. nobody who is actually into soulslikes thinks it is #its a very hard game and thats enough for a lot of ppl to slap the label on it #anyway ive heard very good things about this game i will never play in my life #mostly bc im Not Interested in any of those things #(i like dark souls but again. its not actually a soulslike)#ill probably watch a 100% playthrough but i would for sure ragequit within two hours if i played it myself #or i could do what i did thr last time i played something actually approaching a bullet hell #and throw myself at the exact same brick wall for hours a day over the course of two weeks before just giving in and watching a playthrough #i could not beat true hero undyne. she won #i watched the rest of the chara route and when flowey was like 'maybe you're watching a playthrough because you're a COWARD'#i was like 'jokes on you idiot im just bad at video games'#uh. anyway #im sure returnal is great but boyyyy do i not like how anyone except jacob geller describes it

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infizero · 1 year

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every time i so much as think about that scene where light looks at porn magazines while scowling i go into hysterics its genuinely the funniest thing i've ever seen

#the funniest thing is is that i truly believe he thought he was being 100% convincing. that that's normal behavior for a completely straight #completely allosexual man #light is fucking awful and i hate him but also there's nuance to him. and sometimes i can get a little like. oh thinking about his life #before the series. specifically factoring in my headcanons about him being gay aroace and autistic and stuff. ppl have written some rlly #good fics surrounding those topics.... but yeah thats not even canon stuff but i dont care #anyways its not in a way of making excuses for how he is i just think it adds more to his character #hes total garbage but i think theres really interesting stuff with him when it comes to how he's.... VERY disconnected from others #just in general. he's like aware of how to act ''normal'' on like the most textbook surface level without being like. Aware enough to #be able to make it more convincing. and as ridiculous as it is i do see some of myself in him in that sense #also that person who said light and L is just autistic guy who's been masking his entire life vs autistic guy who's never masked in his #entire life. LITERALLY EXACTLY. genuinely perfect way to describe them they are both so similar when it comes to this #but the ways they go about it are very different. light has been playing the part of the perfect son his whole life. L doesnt try to change #himself for anyone and doesnt care when people think hes weird. both of them arent very socially aware and havent had any real friends #their whole lives. its such a fascinating parallel between them #i could go on a whole fucking thing about how light was pretending to be someone he's not around his family and at school and everything #long before he got the death note BUT. i wont. at least not right now #jesus christ how did i go from laughing about him with the magazine to this. my bad #derailed my own damn post. idk swagever #will say rq tho. watched a vid on youtube that pointed out how light expected his family to think nothing of the fact that he's gone to #such drastic measures to hide his diary when making the plan with hiding the death note which is like #that level of dedication would NOT be normal. so the fact that light expects his family to think nothing of it......#i mean you could read that as light just once again being socially unaware. but it could also imply that light's family kind of Knows #he's hiding something and just doesn't address it. (he's gay. im talking about him being gay)#the video also referenced this comic that i didnt rb cause the actual premise of it (lawlight wedding) is um.#not at all my kind of thing. BUT it was light describing himself as a house with a basement when his family sees him as a one story house #and i thought that was such a cool analogy #ANYWAYYYSSSS i need to go to bed. thanks if you read my ramblings #serena.txt #death note posting

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