#but it's okay we're embracing it!

[notsosecretlyalesbian]

"-Oh, come on. What, are you kidding me? You said it yourself, the parents don't exactly love you. They would be psyched to come and dunk your ass.

-I don't know how to swim.

-And now it's dangerous? Even better."

Lisa Ann Walter as Melissa Schemmenti in Abbott Elementary | 02×19: Festival

[howtodisappearcompletelyand]

20/10 stars little guy

[unproduciblesmackdown]

revisited some parts of deh i hadn't in a while via obc boots, mostly kicked off by audio of an aus tour show, & it's like now hang on lol reevaluating the whole of heidi's material / that arc like i have been too generous what in the....kind of worked backwards from good for you b/c for that song i've Been like sympathetic re: alana & jared's sections while like Shrug at heidi like i'm on evan's side there really. but the whole thing is like, sympathy for heidi's feelings aside, i'm on evan's side b/c like yeah heidi has feelings & insecurities too but it's not the same peer to peer like fellow unpopular couple of students as parent to child & i'm looking at it all like The Whole Thread is heidi's insecurities as A Mother & the demand is on evan all the time to not just Not cause her insecurity but also assuage ones that have nothing to do with him, e.g. what's he supposed to say about digs at his dad's wife

& like really going over that First Scene i.e. opening scene post evan's soliloquy i.e. anybody have a map it's like. sure only increasingly like Oh Boy when evan not being able to order pizza despite the online option is met with the "you Need to be able to order dinner for yourself" ft. that he should be "too old for this" (disability....grow up) (not a direct quote but rather yknow the "you're a senior in high school, evan" intro) & nothing about like, support or alternatives, certainly nothing about it being Okay that he couldn't. just that he Has to do this thing this way (why. or else what.) & also just the simple fact that evan has been honest about "something wrong with him" / something he did that he figures she wouldn't like & gotten this wholly negative response about that just being Unacceptable to hear, regardless of the "positive" pivot like you can do it re: school, just must not be Trying enough, just must be evan's own attitude or something else about him, the letters had better help....& all this revisiting inspired by beau woodbridge evan's delivery after heidi says the line about Her Not Wanting To Hear (framed about Her Feelings if evan were to Tell her about this) about evan having no friends, & like the delivery of "neither do i??" like a sort of nonplussed indignation that is a kind of "how do you think *i* feel about it??" like no yeah what about evan's feelings about him dealing with his problems here, the one not having dinner, not having friends, not Not having anxiety, etc. like obviously heidi like every person ever has feelings & problems too but it's that the parent's problems are supposed to be Made Up For by the child somehow, while evan's problems are framed as Being A Problem for his mom, how she feels about Knowing about it, try harder please okay evan....but cue, yknow, how she resents evan feeling any responsibility for Her Problems in gfy yknow not insofar as she's been embarrassed to tell him like "yeah money is a problem" when it's been about pushing him to get scholarships but rather when the murphys know (maybe just via evan implying they're Not Rich to zoe after zoe is like ah, to be poor....) that heidi will need Financial Support for college for evan & then heidi like i'm not That poor & to take money would be wrong (always the reminder heidi does not know everything re: evan & connor isn't true either)

which, that last part of her dinner at the murphys pre gfy was really this time hitting like ://// whew okay. all of it always grating lmao but like, "i don't want evan to get the idea etc" like ma'am he's sitting right here? he's seventeen? can't just Declare the ideas evan will or won't absorb even though like yeah also clearly it's about her pride as A Good Mom being wounded & just putting it on evan by expressing it that way like no i have to be A Good Mom via my example, is why i must decline....& like i'm sure it can all be softened depending on how heidi is played but still like, this is about her Full Story / Material, & just what is written lol like even if she was more [pensive emoji single tear] in delivery or something, vs watching the obc like full anger & contempt by this point & i'm like yeah this Shouldn't be familiar if the excuse of like "well heidi is messing up in this Special Occasion, an outlier" really went that far. or was actually out of line w/how she acts other times. or how this all resolves. but heidi storming out While lashing out at evan / blaming him like my god lmfaooo & like. speaking of "do you think the murphy parents did read between the lines & think evan & connor are secret gay high school lovers" like gee evan having no problem moving in to the murphy household, keeping secrets from his mom like his ostensible epic friendship w/connor, not talking aobut her or really trying on his own to involve her, being fairly alarmed when Surprise Dinner With Your Mom, heidi acting like That??? like "do you think the murphy parents read between the lines to think evan is abused by his parent" i mean like lol lmfaooo on both points like heternormativity? the normativity of abuse & parents Owning their child as well? in the murphy household? but you know. of course no deh is not supposed to be about that but i'm like, uh oh, whole time i was like "well my own perspective based on what i learned from personal experience & then learned About such experiences isn't that relevant at least to heidi b/c it's supposed to be that she's Not Like That at the end of the day" but i'm like is it in effect though lol, is it really that different In Essence if not also like "yep the way heidi acts is just directly familiar sometimes. maybe often. or always" difference in degree like. plus just that how often is whatever particular lens/perspective like Useless to apply

anyway & that fight in the leadup to gfy is wild & just like further illuminating re: how the whole time, from the first scene, it's like okay to heidi what's most important in her motivations is Her Insecurity about how anything about evan supposedly reflects on her being a mom, like. again that heidi has no idea everything about evan & connor isn't true & she's just going sicko mode at evan b/c the murphys Aren't His Family, yknow, She is, & that entitlement that's supposed to come with it, evan can't have these other adults acting Parently towards him re: money & housing & dinners & feeling fond of him or anything, all circumventing her status as His Mother....the whole "sorry i can't give you more than that, shit" "well it's not my fault other people can" like yeah sorry about your feelings heidi, yeah it's not "nice" of evan to say that but i'm not like yes evan must never even think things that aren't nice(tm) much less say them, that again like even if we sympathize w/heidi there b/c obviously yeah she'd be hurt & feel insecure. even if we suppose that was mean of evan. i'm like well yeah he's right. just setting aside the apparent universal desire for a life as closely approximating the brady bunch as possible, it's like hey yeah look evan's been getting dinners this way, re: him not ordering a pizza at the start of a show. turning out to be less important like "well at least you've been eating, good" than evan not doing so through the Proper efforts to Become Normal(tm) & of course that like. coming from another mom staying home making him food is unacceptable b/c she imagines this is supplanting her / making her the Bad Mom vs this Good Mom & then taking it out on evan to make her feel Good Enough(tm) like truly just the usual fallback refrain of "ohh sorry i'm not perfect / have feelings / have problems" which is true for everyone ever but yknow evan is the one having to Defend his feelings & problems & imperfections against the fallout of "failing" to be "responsible" for mitigating or fulfilling heidi's & she's the one who can break out "i'm your mother" whereas evan's less overtly declared "i'm your son" about her potentially failing Him is what gets met with more contempt & "ohh sorry i'm not perfect & have feelings & problems" & her starting off Good For You. great

& like the way All That illustrates, like the way evan getting dinner now through a different now available avenue is, to heidi, more about her own feelings than about [evan gets dinner now], like just that expanded to how it's not Okay that evan's problems seem to be getting better / he's getting more support / he's doing better or anything as soon as heidi becomes insecure about her not having the role she wants in it. the entire thread about her being bothered about evan not telling her things, lying about things, hiding things, like yeah evident that she Is worried about him but same as she's evidently worried about him in the first scene, when, again, we Did see him share something honestly with her & she was like "UGH evan jeez i Hate that you told me this" & then her input is to tell him to Get Good, yknow, must be his own failures, get on that. gosh why would he keep anything from her. & then yknow we have that line later on, evan like you don't know me & heidi like "i thought i did" (contempt again) & like the main issue of this not being like "oh no if i Don't know him or about his problems then i'm not supporting him like i thought i was / he's not getting the support Overall i thought he was" but rather like i can't believe evan is doing this to me / her insecurities & evan's "responsibility" for them, again, rather than yknow. evan's wellbeing regardless of her personal feelings? & we're ready for resolution after heidi inadvertently reads his diary to realize he was that sad & it's like. even if he wasn't That Sad like none of that response was okay. at any point lol like it's still the issue of her dynamic with him where evan is In Charge Of how heidi feels & that obviously she can act on this in the ways she can & what can evan do about anything but avoid her / not share things / idk indeed move in with this other family lol, sorry about the pretenses (also obviously like. murphy parents not doing that much better. certainly larry like, are you kidding? never changes his mind that all connor's problems were connor's fault & Failings & now his reaction to it is about facing any insecurity & Rejecting It as no i'm always right & just have to hold out forever. vs that zoe is also bearing the brunt of being Trapped In The Family(tm) but cynthia dares to be like "no, i feel like i failed my dead son" & "no, i don't feel someone 'has to be the bad guy' who tramples boundaries")

like speaking of boundaries. ppl having always pointed out "uh oh, heidi's not good with those" or the point like "in gfy heidi's also mad about the rejection by her ex-husband & just putting that over her fight w/evan" like not beating the [parent making their child the one in charge of them & their feelings & actions] allegations.......

& you know, the resolution like "ohh you were sadder than i knew" like okay Now that matters instead of heidi Just being insecure that he wasn't sharing this with her already, thus the important part being how that makes her feel like a bad mom vs like, how evan is actually doing & her actual role in this beyond what makes her feel best, personally? or that like oh i'm Not going to not be here, physically, in this house....like okay. but what about the actual dynamic you have while around him & you will always be around him, b/c like, has that changed from the start. how is heidi going to offer support re: evan Feeling Like This that's different from "you Need to order pizza and Need to get your cast signed, Just Do It" or that b/c she doesn't want to hear otherwise like well then of course evan won't tell her, or maybe a therapist if that's not confidential, or other people if it'll get back to his mom, or the internet if that'll get back to his mom which i guess it will. is evan gonna be not in charge of her feelings anymore. i'm just like yeah evan find yourself in college sure get outta there idk if you're even rude along the way. & obv shoot larry into the sun

[nebulousfishgills]

As much as I love playing embrace Dark Urge runs (discussion in therapy pending), there's something so narratively satisfying about how a Resist Durge playthrough can go once you get to the Bhaal Temple. Your character steps into the ring with Orin, it's intended to be a duel, but odds are you're getting eviscerated pretty quickly. You then switch to one of your other characters in your party and throw an attack, effectively breaking the duel and setting the whole temple upon you.

(Adding a cut because this ended up being longer than I thought)

But, I think it's a very satisfying way to play. Your party members have grown fond of your Durge, seeing them as a friend, a family member, even a lover. They've watched you and your pain over your Urge and what it makes you do or want to do. Maybe you've slipped up once or twice, but you've been trying so hard to be the hero they know you can be, that Faerûn needs. So, when it comes time to finally face your demons and you're getting so horribly hurt in the process, they can't help but rush to your defense. It'll put all of them in danger, but it doesn't matter because they want and need to help you, their ally and companion.

Bonus points if you select your character's romanced companion as the savior/duel interruptor to make it extra delicious. They've fallen in love with you, stayed with you when your Urge craved their blood the most, maybe by this point in the game you've helped put their demons down as well. They see you in pain, a final valiant effort to overcome your Urge against the power of Orin, a whole cult, a god of murder himself. They want to protect you, save you as you saved them.

I'm also fond of the extra beauty of Astarion being your Resist Durge romance since it puts the two of you in very similar situations. Fighting against the will of your masters, finally defeating your demons with your newfound companions' help and being offered the greatest power you could ever fathom... only to deny it, ignore power in favor of your party and your love.

This isn't even mentioning just how goddamn good the Withers resurrecting you cutscene is. This skeleton in your camp with unknown and unfathomable power (also apparently supposed to be Jergal himself if I've done my research properly?) is able to bring you back to life, free of your Urge. The line along the lines of "Bhaal could only destroy what of you that he knew, but because you've grown past your Urge and become your own person, he couldn't destroy that new growth" is just so weirdly powerful narratively. Tav may be a default character for you to create upon making a new save file, but Durge is the canon protagonist and I think that entire scene shows it the best. It's a beautiful secondary climax of the narrative (primary being battling the Netherbrain of course).

And, perhaps it's just an oversight on Larian's part or something that'd be a bit difficult to work into the cutscenes mechanically, but I think that it could only get more impactful if your companions could comfort each other during these moments. Everyone and their mother wishes you could hug Astarion after he kills Cazador, but also imagine your romanced companion cradling your body after Bhaal kills you. It seems just a little odd that they all (meaning your party) kinda just stand around staring at your corpse, especially with how close y'all have gotten.

Idk, I have a lot of thoughts about this section of the game in this particular type of playthrough and some of them are hard to articulate into words. It's just such a damn good narrative peak and can really make you feel things.

I've completed I think two resist Durge runs and just hit this point on my third and it really stuck out to me this time (then again my new antidepressants are kinda fucking with me so that might be playing a role). I left it as my last mission before dealing with the Netherbrain and I think it helped build the anticipation of that moment. Everyone else has been helped by you, and now it's your turn to come into your own. I really felt so connected to my character walking into the temple, feeling like everything has been building to this, that regardless of what happens our suffering will finally end. And you have your party there to help you in your time of greatest need as you've done for them.

There's a reason this game was Game of the Year, the narrative is just so powerful and the replay-ability is just insane. I've beaten this game ten times, heading for my eleventh and it truly just never gets old and never fails to make me feel so many things so strongly.

[menmyth]

The play had drawn the attention of the market's crowd, children gathered on foot while men and women lingered in clusters to witness the great storytelling. Tulle had wandered in part way through the tale itself, admiring the costumes hand stitched and the face paint all the same. It reminded him of being a child on the streets yearning to see when the traveling show would arrive, where he could spend his hours watching and listening – avoiding the watchful eye of his mentor. Leaning against an old post he smiles, the actors twirling away as they begin their song number. Though he’s struck by a streak of lighting hearing the soft musical voice of the maid on stage, brows drawing high on his head he can't help but be impressed. Watching keenly he spies the girl singing, her lips barely moving before he realizes another stands up front miming her. Was she faking it? Why was the girl in the back not up front, had she two left feet? The question buzzes around in his head as the number carries on, the narrator slowly drawing to an exciting point. His call for volunteers has the children darting to their feet and Tulle cannot help but eye the  girl curious to see if this charade will go on.

@sopran liked for a thing!

[froizetta]

Rating: Explicit Fandom: DCU Pairing(s): Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne Length: 7.5k Chapters: 1/1 Summary:

Clark Kent hooks up with Bruce Wayne in a fancy hotel suite. Neither of them know the other's identity yet.

Someday they'll probably look back on this and laugh.

[cloud-somersault]

i was working on chapter 5 and almost started crying????

[cdroloisms]

i know this is a kinda cursed question but what would be the birdhouse au guys in omegaverse?

tbh i don't have as exciting of an answer for you as you'd probably like bc the premise of the AU hangs so heavily on the idea of these guys being alternate versions of each other that having them have different secondary genders doesn't reeeeally make that much sense, but hey why not here's a few hypotheticals under the cut:

the most obvious scenarios in this case are sams all alphas + dreams all omegas, and sams all omegas + dreams all alphas in terms of like, traditionally how omegaverse ship content tends to pan out. so we'll start from here. regardless of who's who, the uh Biological Compatibility, let's say, is a draw and repellant to both the dreams and the sams, depending on who and when and in what context. j!Dream is absolutely down to babytrap himself into more privileges, especially if he's capable of becoming pregnant. c!Dream is deathly afraid of that same possibility. j!Sam is uhhh well. He's Got Feelings about the whole idea of being ~meant to be~ biologically and also afraid that it'll be used against him through Dream's Manipulations (whether he's an alpha or omega, in this scenario)--depending on the scenario, he's definitely ping-ponging between putting Way too much emphasis on the secondary sex thing or completely ignoring its existence. ummm ff!Sam kindaaa dgaf besides how it all justifies stuff sexually like he's just horny that's it.

if either sam or dream are betas, then that whole like "inherent compatibility" thing wouldn't exist and affect their dynamics. if the sams were betas, they'd definitely like appreciate the relative detachment biologically, especially when compared to ruts/heats where dream loses control while sam gets to keep it. if the dreams are betas, then sam is probably keeping them pretty far away from ruts/heats just bc they don't like the feeling of being vulnerable like that in front of dream.

if we have alpha/alpha or omega/omega, i kinda almost feel like there'd be a point of proving how dream is "evil" because he's...a worse alpha or omega? not from a sexual standpoint, but like, just in general. the similarities are kinda discomfiting to sam and sam is making a general effort to put some distance there. dream is a bad alpha bc he's overly domineering and doesn't give a crap about his pack, dream is a bad omega because he's not nurturing enough and too assertive or whatever stupid excuse etc. and beta/beta is just kinda normal ig.

i'm boring, i feel like there's stuff that could technically be explored in all these scenarios but alpha sams + omega dreams kinda works best for the format and characterizations. (for the record, i'm not talking abt coparents here bc that's not my turf, though i'm 90% sure that theyd both be alphas? ik angela has said pream alpha before.) w/ mayfair specifically, a lot of what makes it go down the way it does is j!awesamdream kinda just kinda diving headfirst into craziness just bc nothing's there to stop them, and i feel like being enabled biologically fits much better for their whole Progression compared to if biology were to work against their whole dynamic. pre-birdhouse, j!sam is seeing mayfair as the Ultimate Victory, and like. him and dream and a perfect house, his prisoner, his omega, whatever? combined with the ways that four square would deeefinitely touch on this in an omegaverse AU, it's really the perfect excuse for him (and dream) to let biology run its course and uh, take over. it's the perfect excuse for him to see dream as his and the perfect excuse for them to just, go fucking nuts with it. so they go fucking nuts with it.

j!dream would prefer being an omega like for the record. like i mean there are a whole host of reasons but also like bc he's a little dumbass a huge one is literally just convenience. yeah it's not hard to carry lube around everywhere but it's the principle of the matter you know. c!dream, on the other hand, is even more high-strung and anxious than he is in canon bc of this whole deal nuh uh do not pass go do not collect $200 GET HIM OUT OF HERE [rattles the bars of his cage] etc. heats would be. an especially sore spot--a point of abject terror before he gets involved with anyone and kinda just awful when he does join the hell polycule; sam isn't cruel during them, but that doesn't really make the lack of control feel better. especially when his sync up with j!dream. sam...probably isn't going to get him suppressants tho 😭also jmah!duo are too stupid to be biologically compatible the chances of j!dream getting knocked up and dying are astronomically high whenever it's possible

in terms of like, allowing for a little more variability between the sams and the dreams, i'd say that p!dream as stated earlier would likely be an alpha. c!dream and j!dream have to be the same it's part of the premise for their universes that's not gonna change, omega for them and alpha for j!sam again for the reasons outlined above yes i'm boring. i can totally see ff!sam as either a beta or an omega. omega ff!sam is really awful in a kinda funny way kenjo would probably support the "let ff!sam have a baby" agenda but i think all of the rest of us are against his parenting. p!sam is...im pretty sure he's an alpha but im not sure that's angela's turf. there's something a little funny to me personally with birdhouse involving alpha trans guy pream + omegas cis guys c/jream i wont lie like i think theyd kinda make a joke or two about that.

just for like, very general non-secondary gender specific notes? pheremone stuff allows for another means of communication that doesn't easily allow for lying, for better and for worse. there's a lot of fear in this house. it probably lingers in the corners. the basement reeks of it. it makes it a little more obvious too when someone's had sex, which i mean, it's not like they were subtle before but yknow. mating/bonds kinda work differently i think depending on how people's omegaverse rules work But i think j!sam in general hesitates on initating mating bonds like, for awhile. ff!sam has no desire to be mated to either j! or c!dream; they're prisoners. not mates. i actually do like the idea of er j!sam ending up claiming j!dream during a very specific incident, especially when the creation of a bond incorporates like a level of greater sensitivity? or whatever to the other's emotions, or like outright emotional telepathy in some versions. j!sam can't admit the drive behind why he did what he did, especially in the scenario in which he does it, but also the added connection to j!dream is. somewhat intoxicating. uhh h what else exists in omegaverse...the added biological component to the conditioning for j!Dream is. errrr. bad. really bad. mayfair probably gets cranked up to a higher intensity than it already is which is insane considering mayfair (gestures vaguely again at the whole, theyre too stupid to be biologically compatible thing, technically j!sam is probably careful enough to remember birth control consistently but i dont trust this mans for my life). no clue what theyd smell like for the damn record. maybe cinnamon, for c/jream. either like cinnamon/vanilla/warm spice-y or something like, clean and fresh and very faintly floral, mostly like grass. shrug. ummmm idk idk .. sam would fucking love having an alpha voice holee fuck this guy was already talking to dream with a bad dog voice in the prison break. tho he basically like engineers that without omegaverse in jmah already bc he's a freak. the ways theyd work with and against their instincts is kinda interesting? anyway yea that's it

[honeybard]

drawing a somewhat serious ravening war fanart and wanting to include raphaniel but also realising how much of a goofy megamind looking guy he is which might kill he vibe but also wanting to stay true to the character design and not draw him as just some guy in red and green... truly the hardest artistic dilemma I've faced since I started watching d20

[gaiaxygang]

too many chimon characters are good characters stuck in bad shows

[joo-han]

Oh oh, I am SO mad... someone called Jooheon a "visual hole" and I'm.... what?! A visual hole... EXCUSE ME MA'AM but whot...

[widevibratobitch]

its 'i know it doesnt matter and im used to it at this point but im actually a little sad that im kinda ugly' hours

[queer-crusader]

Nothing brings me closer to the edge of "huh maybe I do have a touch of the autism" than shopping

[alldarkling]

HAPPY TDOV DAY, BY THE WAY! Please do know that even though the concept of gender doesn't apply to such paranatural beings like Antiphisto themself, and Antiphisto will never conform to gender roles, they DO very much support trans folks and will not hesitate to pull cruel tricks and / or murder transph*bes for them... ♡

[kinkykinard]

Miracle by CHVRCHES just came on my playlist and with the family vs found family themes we’re likely to see in tonight’s episode it just hit different and now I’m a mess.

[snekdood]

i refuse to let insecure fucks from my home town who are so controlled by their fear of being different make me feel bad or weird existing as i am online. yeah, i did find a place i could express myself freely and people didnt reject me, im sorry you weren’t able to shame me into having 0 friends anywhere, hoping that’d make me become the basic blonde bitch you want me to be