#but it's like. if you see posts responding to the racism in gay men's spaces and say well racism is a problem in lesbian spaces too

[withswords]

we need a corollary to hanlon's razor for like, never attribute to malice what can be explained by demographic data

[transinclusionary]

Ok but for someone who says they don’t care or are suppose ally’s to women you get really upset at women/ terfs I’m saying this as a gay trans masc you need to chill bc this just gives them receipts that all trans women are men who are misgonistic and violent seriously stop replying to them if it really doesn’t bother you

Lord have mercy, I'm going to summon the patience to respond, and give you the response this deserves. I'm going to level with you

I have never clarified what my gender identity is beyond "they/them" because I didn't believe my identity mattered beyond, only the content of my words. But if this needs clarification I will provide it so no one misunderstands me. I am not a trans woman. I believe this discourse shouldn't have to be done by trans women exclusively. Why must someone who opposes bigots be marginalized? Why must the marginalized fight the bigotry in their own oppression? Why can't I, a gnc cis passing queer woman be absolutely appalled and moved with rage at how awful these cosplay conservatives tarnish the very lavel activism with their existence?

It's not fucking fair how little people get in the world to help, and they get even less the more layers of intersectionality we get. And the lower you get the less society cares about you. The only thing you can turn to is fucking activism when you get so oppressed everyone has a fucking reason to hate you. So you join feminist circles to gain community, and a twisted fucking surprise, even the people who claim to care about gender liberation "feminists" dont care.

I'm allowed to find the struggles of others maddening, in the same way I would hope good white allies to find racism maddening or men to find sexism infuriating. If you're a good ally you should be MAD that someone of your same intersectionality can't just fucking treat people right.

It shouldn't be on trans women to take the brunt of this, or insist everyone ignores them. They don't ignore trans women! They go to safe spaces for women and harasses them, disseminates their photos, their information, and relentlessly bully them! Respectfully, I do not see how I am guilty for the anger I feel for the complete blatant acts of human depravity it is to bully a group of women who have a scary high suicide rate. By not talking about it and just expecting people to fight this issue with silence, I believe that we don't provide adequate community.

It is not just enough to be not a transmisogynist, you have to be anti-transmisogynists. I should not have to put my life in danger by standing up for black people in a room of trump supporters. But a white person should use what privilege they have to stand up for what's right. If I expect allies to do that for me, I need to do that for groups I'm allied with.

Thank you for reaching out. And in situations like these please, think about what you say. I believe you intended good with this post, but I also believe you could reflect on your words. I don't believe it's fair to call a black women aggressive for anger.

No minority should be responsible for the whole group of people, it's not fair to make minorities play by their bigots rules to be respected. Basic human respect shouldn't be earned through respectability politics.

[lazarusemma]

I keep seeing people say they "don't see" Dracula's antisemitism (and racism, but as I am a white Jew, this post is about antisemitism - there are other, better analyses about the racism present in the text, which are written by people who are not me, some of which I have reblogged if you care to find them)

like okay! so you can read about an Eastern European man, famous for drinking blood, being compared to a lizard and plotting to invade Western spaces, repelled by a symbol of Christianity — and not see it? it is a privilege to be able to read this book without immediately seeing the antisemitism in it.

it is no one's fault for not being trained to pick up on these stereotypes/dogwhistles. if you have read this book before without spotting the antisemitism, that is NOT a moral failing. but if you have seen/heard Jewish people calling out the antisemitism in this book, it is pretty fucking rich to remain ignorant of where that is present in the text. do your research or stop posting about not getting it.

this being tumblr, there's obviously been an emphasis on homoerotic readings of the text, which makes it worth noting here the ways in which homophobia and antisemitism overlap in the character of Dracula himself, considering the history of both Jewish and gay men being emasculated/feminized. this is an instance where intersectionality is crucial as an analytic lens, to fully understand the social and historical context of the text.

you do not need to center your readings of a text on its bigotries. but if you do not at least understand where they are present, you run the risk of perpetuating them yourself.

Edit: if you're about to add on about the lizard thing originating later, please check the notes [EDIT: HERE], as I have already responded to this! Thanks.

[ivyglow]

psa + deactiv for a bit

I had some time to read what some people were saying out there and it really saddens me how many “I’m lgbtqia+ and I don’t see anything wrong with the tweets” or “at his age I used to say the same things”, this shows us two things 1) some of you were/are really privileged for not understanding that this is systemic violence, therefore, the person who said the slur doesn’t need to mean it in a bad way because it’s a slur no matter the context and 2) some of you think that just because something happened in the past you don’t need to apologize or recognize your mistakes, which is awful, I’m sorry. 

Being a black girl and having a white mother taught me a lot about acknowledgment, just a couple years ago I started calling my mom out in some of her actions and she made me a lot of questions, we discussed a series of topics and her view on racism has been amplified, just a couple months ago she came to me and she apologized for something she did when I was a five years old kid, she said she was sorry if she ever made me feel bad about my skin, or my nose or anything regarding my blackness, she apologize for things she realizes were wrong to my sister too (and my sister is white, so this isn’t only about the “woke” subject as some people try to make it seem). I’ve never asked my mom to apologize, she also never asked me to forgive her, but I’m sure if she was a public person and something came out about her hurting someone (intently or not) she would apologize, because this is how we grow and this is how we acknowledge our mistakes. We understand that we’re inserted into a bigger space and this space influences how we react to some things, but when we have the opportunity to do better: we do better. 

Systemic violence such as racism and homophobia don’t necessarily need the other part to mean harm, because again: it's systemic. Slurs were wrong back then and they still wrong nowadays. It doesn’t mean that because you used it back then you’re a homophobe now, but it means that you hurt someone at the time and how you react and respond to this situation now says something about who you are in the present. I’m so so sad with people saying they used to say it therefore it's not a problem or that he was a kid. Yes, it was something “common” to SOME of you at the time, but it doesn’t mean it was right and if any of you ever get the opportunity to apologize to someone that was around you at the time: please, do. Yes, nols was a teenager at the time, but as a white, rich boy he gets to have the “space to grow” and make mistakes that bipoc and some lgbtqia+ never had. My brother has the same age as Nolan, and he wasn’t excused for his mistakes -no matter how small they were- because he was a black kid.

When I say publicly talking and apologizing, addressing the issue, I mean it so people can see that no matter if for some it seemed ok back then, it wasn’t. Some of you didn’t felt personally attacked by the slurs, which is fine but to say that it wasn’t harmful reduces the feeling of a whole group to your own feelings, it makes exactly what those acts of violence do: it treats us as homogenous. 

I’m completely fine with people supporting him, I really am, it wasn’t my intention to make everyone angry with my first post, I was addressing an issue that was brought to me in my ask box, saying how hockey culture is not something that starts on the nhl or isn’t influenced by the majority there (white, rich, cis, etc). Whoever took the time to read the whole thing saw that I said everything people are repeating there: he was a teenager, probably space, where he grew up, didn’t really introduce him on social issues, people probably never called him out on that at the time and so on, but this doesn’t change the fact that slurs aren’t ok. It strikes me as some of you still live in a fairytale where we get to have bad guys and good guys, but we're human beings and we need to start understanding that someone can do something bad in the past without necessarily being a bad person (that goes from problem to problem, of course). You say you want to change hockey culture and that you want to do better but when a bipoc/lgbtqia+ points an issue and wants to debate it y’all are quick to choose the one who has the same view as you and use it (@someone is gay and didn’t felt affected by it, therefore, it isn’t a big deal!!!), and it's just curious, honestly.

You also feel as if you have the right to come to my inbox and say hateful stuff, question my views and point a finger at me. I’m not perfect nor I expect any player to be, I’m well aware they are mostly white rich men, and the environment they grew up in is completely different from what we would expect as the ideal, but it doesn’t mean that we’re gonna simply ignore issues. That being said I’m not answering about this topic anymore, its tiring and stressful especially when people already have everything out there, and what I keep doing is basically repeating myself in different ways just so yall get your message. I’m not here to educate, this is supposed to be a safe space for me, yet I do talk about these topics because I know we need it more around here. The fact that some of you choose to block me (when we never really talked!!!), point me as a problematic blog, or diminish the topic, shows a lot about hockey culture (that is very present between the fans, not only in the league).

When you start to realize that part of the discomfort we feel while dealing with these issues is the key to changing the situation we’re gonna start going somewhere, while you keep diminishing it and trying to make excuses we’ll be stuck.

I recommend you to read mia’s rant about it here. Also, take some time to read about the nwhl situation here.

I’m leaving for a while, maybe a day or two or maybe a week, I’m not sure, I just need some time to get my energy back, I deal with this shit every day irl, I shouldn’t have to feel bad in here. I’m really thankful for all the supportive people and I’m really sorry for the hateful anons or the people who felt like I was attacking them or their fave, that wasn’t my intention (especially because nols was my fav too, but I personally felt kinda off, maybe in a different time I wouldn’t feel off and that's ok too). Anyway, I hope I see y’all soon in a better vibe than that (those last lb’s were really good for me btw! you guys are amazing) and if you miss me that much (jk) you can ask for my discord acc to my tito ( @barbienoturbby ). love yall <3 mel 

I’m turning my anons back because of all the named anons I had and I know some of them don’t have a tumblr acc but please: don’t send in shitty things/hate, just go live your life the way you want and leave me in peace. 

sorry for the long rant, I just felt like clarifying things because besides the asks there are people blocking me and unf me like crazy which is ?????

[woeismyhoe]

Spill the tea, what's the deal with you and the BSG group (avatar-chang and her squad in particular)?

Ok anon, sorry for taking so long! I wanted to get everything right and honestly collecting the posts took a longass time xD

Anyways, the only ones I have a problem there are avatar-chang, hexful/dykesia/bizukos, catrademption, cardboardseagulls (never seen interacted b4) and bizulas (also never interacted b4).

I’m going to be really transparent about this whole thing so it’s gonna be long as there’s gonna be several links and I’ve included the dates so it’ll be easier to understand. Since I’ll be fully transparent about this, i’ll probably get hate or whatever. Honestly, I just want to put everything out there without being biased or hiding anything. I’m going to disclose everything here.

So, the whole thing between me and avatar-chang started off with this post I made last year on 10 March 2019. Afterwards, she PMed me on the same day and this was the conversation:

After that, I thought the argument was over because she blocked me lmao. The only ones I spoke to about this was nbw and my real life friends (who had nothing to do with ATLA lmao I just ranted to them).

And then the next incident I think was on 16 March 2019 when I made this post about Azula’s abuse of her friends. I was new and 16. I genuinely wanted to know why people labeled Azula as an abuser. It was dykesia who responded to me at the time.

Now, unlike avatar-chang, I had a few conversations with dykesia (who was bizukos then) that was generally civil. I first interacted with her when she made a post calling out Zucest shippers or something?? I was very new. Like fresh newbie baby ATLA tumblr fan new lmao so I thought what she said was too aggressive. I didn’t realize that there were actual Zucest shippers until after some time. And then she PMed me on 13 March 2019, saying that she doesn’t always agree on characters with me but I do write some interesting pieces on Azula— that she’s a huge fan of Azula but she just tends to stay away from her fandom. I apologized about the previous incident of the Zucest thing and it was fine after then. We talked about zuko, the fandom, the comics, Mai etc etc. I thought we were on fine terms.

And then I made a post about the cliff scene in the comics on 16 March 2019. Avatar-Chang made a post that was pretty directed at the post but it seems like she’s deleted it.

On 17 March 2019, I received an anon mail telling me that avatar-chang was talking shit about me behind my back. I censored her name then because I didn’t want to believe without any evidence. No one sent me any screenshots about it so I just dismissed it.

On the same day, avatar-chang answered an anon and talked about the 13 child post theory I made on 9 March.

On 23 April 2019, I received another anon mail about avatar-chang, asking if I’d seen the post she made about Azula. I censored her name again cuz I didn’t want to start any shit over having differing opinions. I’m assuming this is the post the anon was referring to.

On 28 April 2019, dykesia/hexful/bizukos PMed me to ask if I was talking shit about other people behind their backs, and her. I denied this because I hadn’t. This was how the conversation went:

Yes, I didn’t censor any name because as I said, full transparency. I have afp blocked because we’ve clashed several times and he’d still come for my posts last year despite already being blocked. If you’ve followed me long enough, you probably would’ve rmbered that time lmao

Anyways during then, I don’t think I realized that dykesia was actually being passive aggressive. It’d been barely a year since I started the blog and I just didn’t want to full out make enemies. Reading the messages now tho lmao she really was passive aggressive. But yeah then she said this in bsg so I don’t even know why she bothered to ask me if she wasn’t even going to consider believing me.

The 9th of June 2019 was the last time she messaged and it was to ask if I mind her discoursing this Zuko post while ‘hard and drunk’. It was the first time she could apparently agree with me so it was I quote a ‘Yay??’. Afterwards I don’t know when she did it but she blocked me lmao

On 17 July 2019, I received another anon mail telling me that avatar-chang publicly called me a bitch when she was answering an anon about me posting the scans of the EK Chronicles. She mentioned this in bsg again on 19 April 2020 lmao (she’s that petty) it seems:

On November 8 2019, an anon (one of avatar-chang’s friends actually) asked about my thoughts towards the allegations against Aaron Ehasz. I still believe in the system of ‘Innocent before proven guilty’, so I didn’t side with anyone. I tried to be as objective as possible. When I said that I hoped men would also come forward, I said that because I don’t want men to just sit on the sidelines and let the women get the heat if they were telling the truth. At the end of this whole thing, I concluded that Ehasz was a dick of a boss to the girls. Being called an abuser carries more weight than just being a dick. Everyone has been a dick at one point, but being an abuser is something else. Just because Ehasz was a dick doesn’t mean I’m going to stop watching TDP or dismiss his involvement in ATLA.

The next day, BSG brought the issue up despite both avatar-chang having already blocked me by then lmao

On 5 February 2020, after Legacy of the Fire Nation came out, I made a post calling out Iroh’s bs to Azula (guy literally blames Azula for everything that happened to Zuko (something which avatar-chang agrees with apparently, and Iroh even sees Ozai in a better light).

That’s so far what I’ve remembered that involved avatar-chang and dykesia.

Moving on to the next three attackers: catrademption, cardboardseagulls and bizulas.

I’ve seen catrademption around, but I don’t remember if we’ve clashed before. We must have though cuz she’s got me blocked lmao and I mostly only debate back to people when they reply to my posts. For cardboardseagulls and bizulas, I don’t think I’ve ever seen them them before but obviously they’ve seen my blog and misinterpreted everything I’ve written.

But according to them, I’m apparently a Azula apologist, extremist, irrational, toxic, coddles and woobifies Azula, justifies everything she does and invalidates abuse victims.

You can see the posts I’ve made to judge whether I actually am an irrational Azula apologist who blames everything on Zuko. One of the most recent posts I made about Azula’s character is this, and there’s still several more posts like that. Just search #meta or #analysis in my blog search and all of them will just pop up. I can assure you, I have never acted as if Azula has done nothing wrong or did everything right or whatever lies these people are spewing.

If anyone has proof that I’ve talked shit about people in the fandom to other people before, please, present your evidence. I highly think this is impossible because I actually don’t have many friends on Tumblr, nor do I usually initiate conversation because I’m awkward af.

I’ve also tried approaching those I recognized in bsg to find out more about the situation (and at least give my side of the story). Most of them have chosen not to speak to me LMAO but one of them who’s chosen to remain anonymous for their privacy, admitted that dykesia (hexful) forced them to block a blog before (after realizing they were interacting with said blog) and if not, they would be blocked themselves. I can’t post the conversation publicly because they’re afraid their speech mannerism will give away their identity. @space-sword has also shared his experience with avatar-chang on his blog and was pressured to cut off ties with ppb21 just to join the oh so magnificent Ba Sing Gay.

There’s absolutely no reason to judge someone based on their sexual orientation, race, color or age either. They rant about being discriminated against or being generalized or stereotypes but they’re the ones hypocritically committing these actions, and then justify their actions by saying ‘we’re oppressed, they’re not, so it’s not racism or discrimination’. And yet people still wonder why discrimination is still rampant LMAO

I can’t speak for the blogs they victimized in bsg, but I personally don’t agree with talking shit about them on a public server and then criminalizing them as if they’re actually predators. I also don’t agree with involving the blogs’ friends simply because of their association. I also don’t agree with demanding people to block blogs they don’t like because that’s just pure manipulation. That’s wrong and marginalizing people. Unless someone has actually been harassing or literally preying on people, then there’s no reason to actually go around warning blogs about them unless they’re asked about it.

If they feel uncomfortable about something? Then avoid that blog, filter their tags or even block that blog if they’re that uncomfortable—BUT they shouldn’t demand others to do the same just for their own benefit. It’s not up to them to decide what a person can or cannot see or who they can or cannot interact with. They’re not their parents, and they obviously have no right to pressure people into doing things they don’t want to. If they think it tactless that I shared the conversations? Oh honestly, a line was crossed when they spread shit about me so idc. If they actually feel terrible for being called out? GOOD. That’s what they should feel, because in no way was any of what they were doing right or justified. If they’re going to shit on me then expect to be burned because I’m not someone who’ll just shrivel in fear because they have a bigger following.

[aizawasgay]

@bright-yoru i'm taking the time to respond to this since you replied to my reblog of this post.

i'm gonna assume youre a minor and keep my cool. the authors not 'meaning any harm' does not detract from the harm they are doing. did you see in my tags that i said this transphobic nonsense that permeates fandom makes this a hostile and uncomfortable space to participate in? that's real harm. that's fiction affecting reality because it affects me - knowing that the majority of people who portray trans men are openly, blatantly transphobic is not harmless. being confronted with transphobia in fandom so constantly kills my enjoyment of the source. fandom and content does not exist in a bubble.

'don't like don't read' works when its about a premise or character you're not interested in, it does not apply to people in minority groups being angry and hurt at how people not in these groups portray them. i'm pissed off. i'm angry that people who aren't trans would use us to fulfill their transphobic fetish.

fiction absolutely affects reality. fiction can hurt people. homophobia, transphobia, racism, sexism - these are things real people experience, in reality and in the escape of fiction and we are fucking allowed to be disgusted by bigotry and fetishism.

if you can't handle a gay trans man being rightfully angry at homophobia and transphobia you are more than welcome to unfollow.

[scotfem]

Ooooh my god. Read the whole thing it's mind boggling and written by a TRA that doesn't actually know what oppression is

Last month, Scotland’s First Minister Nicola Sturgeon posted a heartfelt video statement online. 

She said that she would make a stance to address transphobia in her party, outlining that it ‘is wrong and we must treat it with the zero tolerance we treat racism or homophobia.’

I – like many other Scottish National Party members who left in January – watched in tears.

Yet, I fear that Sturgeon’s words have come too late to undo the SNP’s slide into becoming one of the most concerning hubs of transphobia in Scotland.

When I, a non-binary person, joined the SNP In February 2019, the party felt like a beacon of hope. Scotland had a great LGBTQ+ equalities rating, and Nicola herself, as a life-long feminist and LGBTQ+ ally, was a role model I held in deep respect.

But at just three months in, I felt first-hand the party’s disregard for the safety and wellbeing of trans people.

After I appeared in a short social media video for the SNP’s official student wing, I became the focus of a disproportionately large hate campaign launched by anti-trans activists online. They pored over screenshots of my body shared over Mumsnet, mocking my features, which they found unfeminine.

As I watched the party fail to act as the same activists who attacked me sent thank you cards to SNP politicians like Joanna Cherry for her opposition to trans rights, I never took it upon myself to report what had happened. I was aware of other complaints that had received no response.

That was until I came to a crisis point in 2020 when I was subjected to coordinated, planned abuse by anti-trans activists at a branch meeting I had been invited to.

The leaked branch meeting minutes were seen by The Herald describing, ‘At one point photocopies of men taken from the internet were passed with the comments that they had all been convicted of predatory and paedophilic behaviour against women and girls while self-identifying as women’. 

In shock at their actions, I did not look at them all but one picture stood out to me, of a well-known UK trans public figure. 

This trans woman had experienced abuse online for her appearance not fitting the patriarchal ideal of what ‘woman’ looks like. Yet they compared her to convicted rapists and paedophiles, just for being who she is.

I couldn’t help but compare it to what happened to me over the SNP Student video; the sheer disgust at our bodies – objects to be ridiculed. 

As the night went on that room devolved into a den of transphobia. The minutes detail that anti-trans activists ‘shouted comments of men getting access to women/girls in toilets and changing rooms and raping them and the infiltration of LGBT information in primary schools encouraging children to identify as gay or trans.’

I was too scared to say anything although the branch executive apologised for these activists’ actions and ushered me to safety; it took me three months to summon up the courage to talk publicly about it.

And my fear was justified. Six months after I formally complained, nothing was done. I felt hurt and betrayed when I did not receive the support I should have been able to expect.

I emailed the new National Secretary Stewart Stevenson MSP, setting my intention to leave unless an update on my complaint was provided within two weeks.

He said nothing. And so, I left.

The sad part is many other instances go unreported due to the survivors being too scared to come forward out of fear of harassment. I was not the first trans person to come forward about being abused in the SNP.

Emma Cuthbertson, the former convenor for the party’s official LGBTQ+ wing, said she sent ‘at least 21 complaints’ outlining instances of transphobic abuse she received from other party members to SNP HQ, the national secretary and even Sturgeon herself. She said no one responded and subsequently left to join the Scottish Greens.

The rumbles of bigotry and party inaction came to a crescendo on Tuesday January 26, the day before Holocaust Memorial Day, as prominent SNP MP Joanna Cherry appeared to defend an anti-trans activist whose Twitter account has been suspended for violating its ‘hateful conduct’ policy. 

Cherry tweeted claiming that ‘Twitter moderation policies are a violation of #FreeSpeech & your hateful conduct policy does not protect women…As a Member of Parliament I’m calling you out on your sexism & your #HumanRights violations’, which was to me insinuating that sexism led to the account being banned rather than acknowledging the discriminatory remarks aimed at trans and Jewish people.

Last week, the SNP had a reshuffle and dropped Cherry from the front bench – Anne McLaughlin MP has been appointed instead as the party’s spokeswoman on justice and immigration.

Recently, Justice Minister Humza Yousaf submitted highly controversial proposals to the Hate Crime Bill, which seems to enshrine in law the demand of anti-trans activists to be exempt from hate crime regulations when criticising trans people’s identities.

This accumulation of stories shared over social media, to significant outrage, meant it was understandable that a sliver of recognition from Sturgeon in her video was enough to make mytears start.

Watching her was like having two years of fear and silence finally be put into words. I cried out of pain, mourning and exhaustion because I feel this has come too late to heal the harm done to trans people both inside and outwith the party.

At this time, I don’t think the SNP support trans people on our road to an equal and inclusive independent Scotland at all. Trans healthcare was already at crisis levels prior to the Covid-19 pandemic.

Now, waiting times are at such severe levels that some trans people wait up tothree years just for their first appointment at a Gender Identity Clinic.  

Trans women are experiencing an epidemic of Intimate Partner Violence, including domestic and sexual abuse from their partners.

I’ve watched as close friends’ lives have been ruined by these problems, but they seem of little interest to a party in which the mere mention of trans rights acts as a lightning rod for amplifying transphobia, and distracts from the mission of independence. Trans people are tired of having to ‘wheesht for Indy’ (‘wheest’ meaning hush).

It’s a horrible situation. Young people joined the SNP out of hope for a new Scotland and now many are regretting that decision.

Sturgeon has promised change and I believe her to be an ally but until change happens, I cannot see the SNP as a safe space for already marginalised trans people.

The onus is on all of our allies to pressure the SNP leadership to launch an independent, external review of its transphobic culture, with a focus on many ignored instances of discrimination and abuse, before a generation of its activists are lost.

‘We hope our efforts will reaffirm the status of the SNP as great supporters of the LGBT+ movement. The door remains open for Teddy, other trans people and trans allies, should they wish to re-join the party at any time.’

Joanna Cherry QC MP said: ‘I am not aware of anyone in the SNP who wants to undermine the rights of Trans people. As a lesbian, a feminist and a veteran of the struggles for equality I believe that everyone deserves equal protection under the law and I am very proud of the fact that in Scotland we have very good rights-based protections for Trans people. 

‘There is currently a debate about changing the Gender Recognition Act in Scotland. Some people have advocated for a policy of self-identification of gender. In response Women have raised legitimate concerns about the impact on their sex-based rights enshrined under the Equalities Act. It is concerning that in this area it is difficult to express a viewpoint without being labelled a transphobe. The Scottish Government’s proposed amendment to the draft Hate Crime bill was designed to ensure that people who wish to discuss women’s sex-based rights would be protected from charges of transphobic hate crime.  Without such protections Scotland will end up in breach of Article 10 ECHR which protects the right of free speech.‘

-End of article-

You read that right folx, this idiot is actually saying that women being able to congregate and speak about issues that affect us is hate speech and wants it to be enshrined in law. The trans movement couldn't be any more anti-woman if they tried

[oceancoralx]

 Hey everyone, I’ve just been lingering about. Been avoiding Tumblr RP because it’s not really where I’ve felt the most comfortable (even though I’ve made some amazing friends, you guys know who you are and you guys are awesome). I tried to return through discord because that’s where I felt more comfortable but I haven’t checked there in a while either. Life has been pretty terrible honestly and my muse has been drained as the distractions and problems piled on top. I just wanted to drop in and give an update. Also... wow, there’s a lot of drama I’ve seen. Another reason I’m very hesitant to come back but I’m glad certain things are being addressed such as toxic masculinity and racism, especially within the sect of “gay rp” (idk, but you guys know what I mean). Anyone else, this ain’t about you, and I appreciate you guys because your talent is off the charts.

I try and lean less towards that gay rp end of the spectrum tbh because fetishization tends to happen, I’ve noticed, and there’s also been stuff to do with consent that, while I have to say is my problem considering it’s not my business, I’m very concerned about and uncomfortable with as they’re portraying non-con for fulfilment rather than being addressed as what it is. Or at least being treated as a trigger with a warning or anything at times. I prefer story based rps than smut (which I prefer to do with rpers I’m comfortable with) and that’s just my own personal preferences that doesn’t impact anyone but it’s a huge part of rp, technically and I think it’s worth putting my two cents (is that what Americans use? Is that the phrase?) in. 

In terms of a toxic masculinity argument, I don’t think that particular issue was addressed as well as it probably should have been in the post I saw going round but it’s definitely a part of it. I think the types of muses we glorify are very evident but I do believe that that’s almost entirely okay. Be attracted to what you’re attracted to or gravitate towards and do you! But I do see a lot of muses (sure, twinks can be a part of this conversation, okay, but you know a lot of other groups as well) are neglected. I think white, traditionally masculine muses with perfect, muscular bodies are favoured (fine) and also “gay” (stereotypical) behaviour, attributes, traits, features are rejected (eek ok)/deemed unattractive and I do think that there has been a problem where it’s teetered towards a kind of toxic masculinity/internally homophobic direction (not always but there’s been some of that.) I don’t think it’s intentional because we can all like what we like but what we put out with that sentiment has crossed the line a few times and that’s where we need to be careful. I also understand that a lot of these things aren’t going to be addressed when your characters are smutting it up because those rps aren’t that deep and you’re just trying to enjoy writing. I’d just say that be careful within those spaces that we don’t put out any harmful messages or idk make a conscious effort to try and be positive in any way we can? You’d think this is a very simple thing but if people are still agreeing that this is still happening then it’s something that needs to be realised and put into words. 

Idk. Could be as simple as putting a trigger warning or... rephrasing? Sometimes the character is just like that and that’s fine but acknowledgement OOC or something? I don’t know, maybe even that seems a little much but it at least makes the distinction between the character and mun. I don’t believe your characters represent you, wholly. Just be aware and conscious of these things and outside of your character interactions, especially if your character is intentionally problematic or toxic ect, try and be decent to everyone. Muses are fictional but the many muns behind them are real people and however great or small, you have an impact on the environment you contribute to. The argument I saw being conveyed was not well put but I think that just because the person arguing them has problems of their own (valid ones which I am about to address) lets not disregard everything they said from the conversation because I think we should still talk about toxic masculinity and homophobia in areas that were not addressed. Also the attitude of non-binary and trans muses as being less than is also something I acknowledge has happened a few times. We’ve come a long way since now these characters are actually being included and brought to the surface of attention and I don’t think that any of us are trying to be harmlful (or I should hope not) but I do think in queer spaces we should be the ones to make room/welcome these types of people and issues safely and comfortably into them. I’m not saying you necessarily have tor rp with muses you don’t want to, I’m not policing you to be more diverse and inclusive but be open minded and aware that you are making an impact in your threads, muses, bios, rules pages and ooc messages and be mindful what sorts of messages your words are communication. I want it in writing that trans men are no less of a man (same for trans women but I see even FEWER of these muses) and we should be learning to adapt to this understanding of gender rather than conveying attitudes of the past that harm people within the community. Also no matter what the body of the non-binary muse is like, respect that they’re non-binary if that is the decision from the mun. Don’t erase that by disregarding chosen pronouns for your own fulfilment in the story. A character being non-binary shouldn’t change what they contribute to the story, especially if the story is two characters flirt in an undescribed location with a convenient bed and the only thing they have in common is that they’re horny and hot. 

In terms of racism, now this hits a little harder. There’s definitely a problem there (as pointed out by a lot of the people who responded to the toxic masculinity post). I empathise with the sentiments expressed about the blatantly harmful attitudes geared towards Asian and specifically Korean muses, as well as a general attitude towards all POC muses. This needs to change and if you think that this whole preferences thing doesn’t mimic the problems of the real world towards POC than I think you need to rethink. Many different muses of many different ethnicities have been either rejected due to physical preferences and the argument that due to this being done in a space where we create fiction that means this is okay I think is very questionable. Whole races of people being generalized and boxed into one is not where we should be at. You being comfortable with only FCs who are actors is fine, or FCs that supply no significant age gap is completely fair but implying a whole race of people is unattractive? I’m not putting words into anyone's mouth but please do not do this. Especially right now, we shouldn’t be doing this and we should already understand why this is bad. On the other side of the spectrum, the fetishization and stereotypes, especially in the way it is advertised is very grim. Fetishization of a whole race of people is dehumanizing, especially if that race is an oppressed minority. I’m not accusing anyone but PLEASE just try and consider your approach to interacting with POC muses in this way. It requires so little effort to just question whether something is okay. I don’t think it is hard to listen to what is going on in the real world and not project those harmful things in order to fulfil your fantasies. I think there’s a problem there if certain fantasies are fulfilled on the back of people getting hurt. Just do your research and try to offend anyone is what I’m saying. It’s very simple. Just grow as a human. Pretty much if you’re not talking from experience, just be respectful, whether you’re putting out a muse or trying to interact with a muse. Make a mistake and then try and then learn and grow. Don’t try and box POC muses into ways they can fulfil your fantasies based on very tired ideals of who they are and what they can offer. I’m saying it again, just be respectful. Question what you put out, think about it and try not to hurt people through what you communicate. Have empathy. I’m reiterating the same things because these are simple thoughts that should just come so quickly and casually. There are so many people with a multitude of different experiences interacting with this and probably people who have more knowledge on it but lets not just address these issues when someone needs to be called out. Lets put a stop to it in general. This shouldn’t have just been made aware of when it was right there in front of us. 

Listen, I’m not here to police or tell people how to go about RP. Get weird, go crazy and be out there. Characters and threads are not real life, I understand that but just be aware of the impact around that little bubble within the thread. Try and make a conscious ever to put out positivity outside of your threads when you’re contributing to your blogs. Or at the very least, don’t put out negativity. Make sure that no one feels unwelcome or disregarded or hurt when they come to your blog. RP is a social activity (wow I sound like an annoying, patronizing teacher while I write this) and that means that no matter how introverted you are, you gotta navigate it that way. Just don’t be a dick. This isn’t a call out post, just a “think about it this way the next time you try and put something out there.” This was my opinion on a few things that have been circling and a few things that haven’t been touched upon much. I’m also open to criticism myself if there’s anything I should have said, got wrong or missed out. Like everyone else here, I make mistakes and I am trying my best. I don’t think many of us are harmful or negative people, but sometimes when we are otherwise distracted we can slip up so it’s good to direct our attentions back to those areas. Ok I’m done.

This is probably a mess of a post.

[kindabraveandlittlestupid]

Why Tumblr Chooses Censorship

It’s a strange day to jump online and suddenly hear about a major policy change on Tumblr from a few people I talk too. Words like “Total Bullshit”, “End of Tumblr”, “Burning Garbage Heap” and so on tossed among them to describe the policy change. Curious enough I logged on began reading over all the purposed changes and I admit I am a bit disheartened. Usually when a digital institution like AOL, Yahoo, Napster, or MySpace falls it because they didn't evolve and became stagnant in what they were providing the internet. I can’t think of a time where a site willfully regressed its own freedom of speech on a broad scale and basically swallowed a poison capsule that destroys their user base (perhaps deservingly so) but here we are.

That point aside, I am trying to have insight and hindsight to understand how/why they were pushed to this reckless conclusion (I will be leaving foresight out because I think Tumblr lacks foresight, the exodus from Tumblr will dramatically change the culture of this site likely for the worse). Tumblr like any social media medium is struggling in the current age of the internet; Bots, Far Right Extremists, Fake News, Illegal Porn, Data Theft, and so on. Many companies are walking this fine line between trying to combat these problems while preserving freedom of speech.

I struggle to find my own footing on this topic because I believe that society with LESS censorship historically does better. You look to countries in the past that repressed sexuality, individual thought, and so on; those countries were often the ones to invite the rise of repressive groups doing atrocious acts in history. While on the other hand because of this open and free social media platform we all see the echoing of those same repressive groups (who are also on Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, and Youtube) and to simply say/do nothing about their posts will inevitably allow them to rise still. This is where I struggle as I believe in that concept of a free society but I do feel that removing fake new stories is essential for the health of democracy.

I imagine the reason why sexual images are the target is that Tumblr makes things so easy to post. It's not hard to imagine pictures of minors getting liked or reposted from one blog or another happening. The problem is many of those pictures will circulate for a long period of time not being flagged as underage and there is good chance that every user has knowingly or unknowingly looked at an image like this on the web. I explore the porn side of Tumblr and have once or twice encountered a Tumblr full of these images at which point I couldn't close that tab fast enough and get the hell out of dodge. So Tumblrs solution of handling this problem instead of playing whack a mole with these underage accounts? Ban all adult content.

I can understand this motivation being a foolproof way of making sure there is no underage porn because there will be no porn. I imagine the result will be very effective, so effective that the various members of the community be they straight, bi, or gay who had their own private collection of legal adult material on Tumblr will stop visiting the site. A slow-moving exodus of users from Tumblr this site to perhaps a new blogging alternative that isn't so restrictive. I don’t suspect Tumblr will be closing its doors the week after the policy kick in (though they will see a HUGE decline in traffic) but even the PG accounts will likely move on because a sizeable user base shifted away and people want to be where the party is at. And much as I love Tumblr, it will not be here (sadly).

PC Culture VS Censorship Culture

One thing I noticed on the various posts is some people attempting to blame this policy change on the PC Culture. I am not sure I believe that as a valid argument. While I don't get along with PC Culture all the time (part of my free society is believing that humor is apart of it and PC Culture doesn't always like humor), I do think PC Culture has a broad/accepting view of orientation and sexuality. Just important is people having the right to explore those thoughts and feelings of their own free will. Tumblr has been one of those sites allowing emerging gay men and women to find others like them but also explore their sexuality with images/gifs/videos. What Tumblr might have not noticed is that the site itself is kind of a cultivation of the best images from the web, sure you can find some pretty hard porn on occasion but of all the adult sites on the web, Tumblr provides an almost artistic lense to the images that come thru the site.

Censorship can come from various political/social/religious groups but this sort of censorship against the human body, sex, and sexuality, in general, comes from a very conservative mindset. People who don’t wish to see nudity in any form on any medium; people who think a woman's nipple is lewd, that breastfeeding publically is disgusting, and that anything remotely sexual is a sin. And by the nature of Tumblrs policy change their beliefs align themselves alarmingly close to these individuals.

There is a thin veneer of progressive views on the site that remains where they say they are ok with this and that like gender orientation surgery but its just that a veneer. Once a person has transitioned anything that is shared of their new body (nudity or sex wise) beyond the initial transition falls into the realm of ‘smut’ by Tumblrs policies. I imagine the perception they are trying to sell us is “Hey we are still the same progressive safe haven for LGTBQ community! Stay with us!” but secretly thinking “Everything you enjoy in the bedroom is horrible and we fucking hate you.”

Perhaps I am being hyperbolic in that statement but damn if it doesn't feel like a vast policy of censorship on the human body. And whenever this happens (historically) it always comes from hyper-conservatives.

A General Attack On Expression and Orientation

I touched on this topic a little bit above but I feel it's worth stating again that Tumblr might be losing its safe-haven status for gender expression and sexual orientation. When scrolling through Tumblr you will likely see those new expressions of genders that is beyond that of ‘traditional’ male and female definitions. And while I don’t have any attraction to some of these new expressions, I understood why they are there and don’t get upset if/when the cross my feed. Like two men having sex my mind thinks “Not for me but I am sure that will make someones day”. I view sex (in all its forms) as natural, I don’t have to be into it for me to be ok with it (if that makes sense). It’s visual participation if that image you see isn't a turn on for you and does nothing for you, simply move on.

Tumblr’s policy doesn't seem to care about this concept of visual participation and while it is taking away my straight/lesbian porn I enjoy. It is also sweeping up all these new forms of expression and orientation in the process.

I am not sure what else to say... I am a straight male and I try to have a deep empathy for other people when I can. I feel this argument can be better structured but I also come from a position where I don’t know all the details. I add this to the post because Tumblr seemed to go out of their way to suggest that they would protect this community but from a long view that doesn't seem to be the case.

A Lessons To Be Learned

I am not going to say fuck Tumblr. I don’t want to see them fail. I liked what this space was about and what it provided. I prefer they reconsider changing the guidelines and consider a different course of action but I also understand why they want to do this. It’s “The Easy Way” to do things. If they ban all porn then it simplifies managing underage nudity and allows the site to have less criticism drawn to it.

I do, however, think this broad censorship approach will ultimately hurt the site and the community though. People will leave, alternative websites will arise and Tumblr will eventually become no more. I am not going to tell anyone to boycott or delete their accounts. I plan to collect my writing and images, backup my favorite adult gifs (might need to buy a hard drive) and settle into this new reality. I know I will personally be visiting the site less as I used to look at porn here at some of the better cultivated Tumblr archives. That lack of traffic by me and all the other users will hurt the company. I hope they understand eventually I won't show up at all and over time, eventually, no one else will either. Maybe the site will survive and change into something else but right now under these conservative policies of censorship, Tumblr won't last.

Sad Regards, Michael California

Update: Posted this originally with a woman in a shower with large censorship bars over the naughty bits. Flagged despite the fact she was more covered than most Sports Illustrated models. I know I just wrote above I am not advocating leaving the site... but after all this and the fact that Tumblr Support finally responded to a far-right Tumblr blogger photoshopping/doctoring a PM conversation we had before posting it to his blog. I feel as though Tumblr A) hates sex and sexuality B) not only enables but protects racism and harassment on this website. I think it’s time to move on.

[aroworlds]

Hey super big question , I feel like we’re about to be slaughtered this December because Grindlewald is Aro Gay And I’m worried that jk is going to completely dehumanize him with Jonny Depp and that she chose Jonny because of his ability to play dehumanizing characters and the writing and his portrayal combined is going to be horrific for us and I can’t stop stressing about it , and asshole allos had to bring up Grindlewald is Nazi metaphor and then I just read the wiki on Hitler, he was ace fml

I said on the weekend that we should be allowed to connect to characters who are not good representation and express that connection, and that’s absolutely true. This said, it is also true that our connection does not mean other people cannot discuss the problems with that character and story. I can express a connection with Clariel; other people have the right to discuss how her position as series antagonist situates her as another loveless villain and her message is, consequently, damaging. Both approaches are important.

To deny people space to talk about the problems, parallels and metaphors in a work or character because of our connection is as silencing as their denying us space to speak of our connection. There are specific spaces where it isn’t appropriate to discuss some feelings in that space (a fanblog where folks gush about Clariel isn’t the best space to argue that she’s dreadful aro-ace rep) and this should be respected. On your own blog, you can certainly put up boundaries on the conversations you prefer not to see. But in broader, general community spaces, the risk is that people will have differing viewpoints and that many of these viewpoints can be hard for us to take, especially if our connection to a character or work is deep and intense.

As an autistic, it can be difficult to see people have a differing opinion about a special interest. It bothers me if they don’t like something I like; it bothers me even more if they like something I consider terrible! It feels like a personal judgement, and it’s hard not to get extremely defensive in response. When it’s tangled up in questions of representation, erasure, marginalisation and identity, it becomes even more complicated, and my connection to my special interest is such that seeing differing attitudes and evaluations of it that hurt me provoke depression, defiance or anger. Those feelings don’t make for easy conversation about it with other people.

One thing I’ve found as an answer, at least in the realm of a work I connect to being dismissed, is analyzing works myself. Yes, I like it, but what does it mean? What’s the context of this character? What are the themes and how do they relate to real life? How might these themes cause harm to others? What does the context of this character say about identity? What lead them to develop this viewpoint? Is it one I should keep? This allows me to continue to engage with a special interest topic while having desensitised myself to viewpoints that aren’t mine, because part of how I now connect to it is thinking about it from lots of different angles. But this took me years to develop and you may not be yet in a position to approach things this way. It also doesn’t work for attitudes and evaluations of a work based in out-and-out hatred or bigotry; you need to be prepared to dismiss them without being overwhelmed by them, and that’s also an ability that takes time and self-awareness to gain.

I do recommend exploring the idea that a special interest doesn’t need to be perfect to have value to meand that a special interest doesn’t need to be perceived the same way by others to have value to me. Your connection to a work is about you and you alone. That connection is not diminished or erased by someone else’s opinion, someone else’s actions or someone else’s response. This applies for disagreement about character arc or idealised representation, and it applies to erasure and antagonism.

I know nothing about Hitler being ace, but so what if he is? Seriously, so what? There’s plenty of lesbian TERFs. There’s heaps of binary trans truscum causing harm to non-binary people. What of Milo Yiannopoulos? Does that mean all lesbians, all binary trans people and all gay men are irredeemable? Of course not! Being of a marginalised identity does not preclude one from being harmful, dangerous, cruel, malicious or damaging. There are aromantic people out there who are dangerous to me. That doesn’t make them less aromantic or less dangerous. It just means all kinds of people can be aromantic, including those I think morally reprehensible.

Anyone who declares all gay men dangerous because of Milo Yiannopoulosis a heterosexist bigot, and the same applies here. You cannot spend your life worrying that an awful person is gay/ace/aro/trans/autistic (etc) and what that means or if people will use that against you. If you do, you’ll never be able to breathe. The only person you’re harming with this worry is you, and you deserve better than that.

If other people use someone’s existence to dismiss your community, as has happened so many times in antagonistic conversations over the last couple of years, handle it like you handle anyone else hateful. Block them. Report vile hate speech to Tumblr. Move on to more constructive creations and conversations.

The majority of fictional and creative media is at least unthinkingly amatonormative, ableist and cissexist. I rarely get to pick up a book that respects me as a trans, autistic aro, and I have to acknowledge this risk of being hurt every time I start something new. This isn’t right or fair, but it is our reality. This movie is going to be no different on that regard, no different to the rest of the media that hurts us. The difference here is that I think this is a property you care about, one that you deeply connect to--and that’s perfectly right and normal! But that connection makes it harder to see that this is the same thing the a-spec community has been enduring for years and years. We’ve weathered everything that’s come before and we’ll weather this, too. You’ll weather this, just as you weathered every other instance of erasure and antagonism in a fictional work.

You can’t change what track the film takes or how people respond to it. You can’t control other people’s coding. You can’t control other people’s hatred, dismissal and erasure. Worrying does nothing to change the situation; it only causes you unneeded distress. Rowling has supported Depp’s casting despite wide condemnation, so what else can you do? You either see the film anyway, knowing the risks, or you don’t--and not seeing it is a valid and reasonable option, one absolutely worth considering.

Under the cut, I talk about therapy and self-care for handling anxiety:

Given your distress, I do feel it a requirement to say that I think you should look into psychology and therapy services for your anxiety. This ask goes a little beyond the scope of what I can reasonably and ethically offer in validation and support. As someone with severe anxiety myself, I swear to you that worrying about something like this, a situation you cannot change yourself, is a problem that is causing you unneeded distress and harm. I don’t know where you live or what your options are, but there are blogs that detail support options. I genuinely believe that you need professional support here and encourage you to consider this in whatever options available to you.

(If you are already in therapy or treatment, I take this post as an indication that your current approaches are not best supporting you and it may be worthwhile to discuss this with your care providers.)

I’ll finish by saying that you can handle the situation, if you feel that you cannot bear the finished film and conversations about it at all. Blacklist tags relating to content you don’t wish to see. Unfollow people who post content you don’t wish to see, especially if it’s most of their content or they don’t tag. Don’t go searching tags. Follow blogs you trust. Quietly block anyone who annoys you. You don’t need to engage in arguments on something you disagree with; you can block users and, if you really need to get something off your chest, make new posts about it on your own blog, in your own space. Turn off anon asks if you think you might be harassed for your opinions; restrict private messages to only blogs you follow.

I’d strongly advise not engaging in discourse and arguments with people who disagree with you. Block, make new posts on your blog if you must talk, reblog folks who are making points that resonate with you. You don’t have to convince the world of what you know or how wrong they are. You don’t have to engage in activism here. Just block and move on. Getting yourself caught up in arguments with people who aren’t disposed to hearing you will only cause more stress and harm to you. Some people can constantly engage in discourse without losing themselves in anger and aggression, but I’m not one of them, and I suspect you’re like me in this regard. Our activism is healthiest for us when directed into community building and validation, not fighting those who won’t listen.

Likewise, you can prepare for any self-care you need should the above fail. Have go-to media like books, films and music you need to distract yourself. Have a list of activities you enjoy that you know that calm you and work through them. If you have a friend or two you can trust to talk with you or distract you, contact them. If this is in your ability, go outside, go for a walk, go to the shops--away from your computer or phone. Watch a YouTube craft video and attempt to follow it. Play games. Write unrelated fanfiction. Keep a list of Calming Things You Can Do by your desk and on your phone, and work to develop a habit of reaching for that list when even slightly overwhelmed or stressed. Again, this is an area where a mental health professional will help you in identifying and using the interests and tools you already have to cope, particularly in working with your own interests and needs, so if you can’t put this into action on your own, this is another sign that you need a psychologist or therapist on Team You.

It’d be irresponsible of me not to suggest that you, and any other aro-spec who feels this way, seek professional support. That you’re turning towards me says you’re not currently getting what it is you need elsewhere, offline and off. That’s not a criticism on you: you deserve to be supported. It’s in no way a crime to want someone to help shore you up in the face of dismissal, erasure, antagonism and hate; it’s in no way a crime to want support from a fellow community member in the face of the antagonism we are so often dealt.

But right now, I do believe–again, as a person with severe anxiety myself–that you’re in need of professional support to cope with the things you’re finding difficult, much more support than I am ethically able to provide. I know first-hand that finding good mental health care is far from easy for many of us, but if anything is available to you, I hope you’ll consider seeking it out.

[jockinthegym]

Let's Talk About Some Topics: Philadelphia's Pride Flag

This topic has been coming up often in my Tumblr feed for a few days now, but, few, if no one, are talking about the real issues as to why the changes happened.

Here in Philadelphia, we are fortunate to have a Gayborhood. It is pretty wonderful with a variety of different LGBTQ+ bars, restaurants, and cafes. With that being said, what is bothersome is the overt racism that is shown to minorities, in particular the black community, because in the LGBTQ+ community, places like our Gayborhood have always been a safe space for members of the community to come together and be themselves. This trust in LGBTQ+ safe spaces has been repeatedly damaged throughout the years. So, if you are not from Philadelphia, or if you are but have missed the news, I just wanted to inform you as to why Philadelphia recently raised this flag.

The More Color More Pride campaign was created by Philadelphia’s Office of LGBT Affairs, because Philadelphia has had long documented racial issues in our Gayborhood.

One of the most notable is of a owner of a gay bar being recorded during conversation saying the N-Word.

With this and other things in mind, recently, our mayor had Philadelphia’s Commission on Human Relations investigate, and in their report, they recommended eleven gay bar owners and staff to go to anti-racism training.

Furthermore, The Medical Director of the largest LGBTQ medical center in Philadelphia resigned after he was investigated for taking advantage of clients, specifically Queer POC, many black trans women, in exchange for medical services.

Further putting strain on the situation, the Executive Director of that Medical Center resigned after it came to light she did nothing about multiple complaints about the Medical Director.

And starting from here is where I take issue with people outside of Philadelphia:

1. People are commenting on the flag color changes as if they know the history that brought it about.

2. People are commenting as if it is a national/world push/movement/change*. When, as of now, it is simply a variant of the existing flag.

3. There is already tons of variations to the flag. Why are people mad over black and brown?! This isn’t a push from Philadelphia’s LGBTQ community to change the “official” Pride Flag.

4. The addition of the colors is for our local community. People that fall into 1 - 3 are not helping our local community - They are hurting us!

Why does it hurt us? Because it is a micro issue within our local community and micro steps are being taken towards resolving it. A stripe on the flag is not meant to fix anything. It is there to send a message: Philadelphia’s decision to add colors to the flag is a hope to repair bridges within our community. It is telling minority LGBTQ+ people in Philadelphia “we do care and you are welcomed here.” Adding colors to the flag to repair bridges and gain trust within a local community is not a step back nor segregation. It is taking action to show your local community you care.

When people comment on these things from the macro without really understanding the micro, how, and/or why, it trickles down and ends up hurting and further putting a wedge in our local micro-community.

With that being said, on the macro level, intersectionality is a bitch. Yes, race and sexuality are two different things. But the intersection of non-white race and sexuality are similar on a systematic level: LGBTQ+ POC are invisible in both, heterosexual and homosexual communities, even though we put in similar amounts of work within both.

Especially for the LGBTQ+ community which has always been built on including the excluded and underrepresented.

*Therefore, on the macro level, the flag changes should be introduced to show members of our community POC’s contributions to the community, and how those contributions are largely underrepresented; meaning, on the macro level this is a means to show visibility and recognition for those achievements and under representation. However, the micro level does have some semblance of the macro, but more immediately it has the meaning of steps to repair bridges within our local community.

My biggest issue/concern is people not separating the micro and macro levels. Instead they’re commenting on it as one unit when it’s two separate that overlap in some areas.

It is not an issue that we “had” to include those colors rather it is we “need” to include those colors for the reasons stated above.

Going further, to address the issues of separation, the LGBTQ+ community is already divided. We can see that with the Drop the T movement. Bisexual people have consistently complained about bisexual discrimination in gay community. Various sections of non-White members of the LGBTQ+ raise serious and valid concerns that white gay men have an over representation within the community. If you use online dating apps, such as Grindr, Scruff, etc, then you have already come across one of the most glaring forms of racism in our community. And, members of our national community that would vote to keep us all as second class citizens! Adding two stripes to create a variant of the Pride Flag does not separate us if you understand why it was created!

Most of the objections have undertones or obvious racist rhetoric or is paper thin (“Why can’t things stay the same?”). Others do not really care, which is a problem in itself, but a different problem than the one being presented.

As I mentioned, in great length, this is about Philadelphia and our community. I rarely see comments such as this post that really point out the racial history and reasons why the change occurred. It seems as if all people care about is how they personal feel about the changes rather than the community impacted the most which fostered the need for said changes to occur. I implore you to show empathy and listen/read not to respond, but to understand.

TL;DR: If you came looking for this, shame on you!

Gif credit goes to @queerwitchqueenofcolor

[spinnerprincess]

featuring: a long-winded post about the current very bad status of ace stuff

the place i’m at with ace shit right now is so frustrating to me. ace people are in suuuuuch a horrible place at the moment. i’m not even necessarily talking about acephobia or whatever the latest buzzword is because it doesn’t present itself the way that which we would call homophobia or biphobia does?

here’s the deal. the current status of “ace discourse” has separated ace people out into one of two categories: loud, awful ace people with opinions who keep talking about them, and quiet ace people who would rather just live their lives without ace discourse at this point

so let’s talk about category one first. there has become a cacophony around ace people and truthfully some it is merited. the ace community has long suffered from a variety of issues when it comes to interacting with other marginalized communities. 

for example, a large number of ace people doesn’t acknowledge how asexuality interacts with poc, since there is such a history of cultural erasure of poc sexuality, or ascribing hypersexuality to poc, and so on. understandably a lot of poc are uncomfortable with asexuality applied to poc, and a lot of poc who are ace are uncomfortable with the community at large for ignoring how racism may have influenced their identification. there are problems of people enforcing the split attraction model as the end-all-be-all of sexuality models, and that can make a lot of people (both ace and not ace) uncomfortable. there are other problems too, that’s just a couple that I can think of offhand

but the thing about nearly all of that? i mean that’s... that’s fucking everywhere tbh. that’s in nearly every marginalized community. gay poc are still fighting for visibility in their community. many lesbian women talk about how dating a bi woman would be gross to them. many bi people are terfs or just plain transphobes. 

these are reasons that people often point to when they want to look down upon certain communities. often if somebody who isn’t a lesbian wants to put down the lesbian community, maybe they’ll say, “i hate lesbians, they’re terrible to trans women so they’re pointless.” “well, gay men mock black women all the time, why would I care about them.” 

not fun, right? but still most people seem to see the bigger picture. every community has its own problems and every community, in my experience, has plenty of people supporting these gross attitudes, but also many people who fight to make their community a better place when they can. a lot of people realize this. a lot of people see the value in the gay community, see the people fighting back against internal racism, etc. 

what’s different these days with people’s attitudes towards the ace community is that for whatever reason there is an overwhelming amount of people who don’t see anything but these downsides. a lot of them seem to pick one particular trait and stick to it, like, “ace people are intruding on lgbt spaces,” and for that reason, they are vehemently against our entire existence (and often imply that we’re fakes). 

this is compounded by the fact that there are a lot of ace people who are loud and talk back. which, yes, okay, that’s what people need to do! when terfs speak up, trans people fight back! when people say ace people can’t identify as q****, it’s okay to clarify that yeah, we’ve undergone a lot of those experiences, and we can! when people say ace people sexualize others, it’s important to fight back and talk about the ways many asexuality-related things just involve non-sexual ideas of consent. etc, etc. 

but so many ace people who fight back never acknowledge that they could be wrong. not even necessarily about the statement they’re fighting - about anything. 

I’m talking about ace people who DO believe that the split attraction model is infallible (and thus that it should be ascribed to everybody, forever), and won’t be swayed from it. I’m talking about ace people who refuse to admit to racism in the community. i’m talking about ace people who enter conversations that aren’t about them - for example a straight ace person talking over gay people over a specfically gay topic.

and of course I see WHY it happens. they’re the kind of people who get so much criticism that they have to stand up and ignore all of it just to stay upright. but god that doesn’t make it right.

that’s where the spin cycle starts: so many people find it necessary to criticize ace people, specifically, for their internal community problems. and then so many loud, awful ace people refuse to discuss those internal community problems because they’re too busy defending their right to exist in the first place to realize that some of the criticism is valid. and then the haters have more reason to hate, and it goes on and on. 

it fucking makes me sick some days.

this causes even MORE problems though, because it’s gotten so bad that ace people who don’t care about this shit have just... gone into hiding. kind of including me?? the fact that I’m ace gets buried under my profile a lot of the time. and it’s gotten worse in recent years, I used to feel comfortable reblogging ace posts, but I really don’t any more.

I’m so fucking scared of getting involved in this discourse. I already see it just pop up on my dash from time to time. “good morning, did you want to have your sexuality invalidated by a random seemingly cool person you followed 3 weeks ago for breakfast?” it’s pervasive and scary. it’s constant. i’m constantly followed by the fear that somebody I’ve just met will spontaneously decide to show the anti-ace opinions they were hiding and fuck with my head. 

and sometimes it’s not even the criticizing non-ace person that I’m scared of. sometimes there’s a complete asshole of an ace person fighting, and they’re wrong, and they’re being terrible to the OP, but I don’t want to get involved and get harassed by them or their followers for just trying to say, “hey, you’re right, but they’re right too.” they’re nearly always backed by a network of equally terrifying aggressive ace types. 

meanwhile, reddit has moved on a little from “triggered” as the tumblr identifying word and now they’re using “acephobia.”

meanwhile, since ace people who aren’t the literal worst feel uncomfortable voicing their opinions in their own goddamn community, the voices of ace people who refuse to respond to internal criticism dominate.

meanwhile, where other communities are often seen in shades of gray with some people bad and some people kind and some people somewhere in between, the ace community is either seen as “good or bad no in between” or just plain “bad.”

to some extent i realize i contribute by not talking about ace discourse. but it’s so tiring. so many arguments are the same. so many statements outright invalidate my experiences, from both inside and outside. so much of asexuality feels like a joke to other people, or a sin. so many people talk about it like it’s nbd or hasn’t faced discrimination. many don’t understand it at all. many feel outright threatened by ace people. i don’t know why. well no I know why they might be threatened by ace people, i don’t know why they feel threatened by asexuality, to be more accurate. 

anyway sorry i’m not strong enough to even be part of the ace community, i’m going to crawl back into my shell with the 2-3 ace people that are my friends and hide from the rest of the world again now

[flootweed]

@misterbitches im finally responding to your posts lol sorry babes 😬

i think ive heard of tamara but i havent read that specific thing youre talking about. but yeah the power structures behind anti-asian racism are not perpetuated by black ppl def. and white supremacy has a greater effect on black ppl than asian ppl bc of ya know... history. thats some rlly interesting insight tho bc like the antiblackness in the asian community is seemingly often presented as a perfect parallel to anti-asian racism in the black community. 

moving on from depressing stuff .. the dubbing of the untamed is by different ppl which is why it fucked me up when i found out. like that wasnt their actual voices tf ??! both of the leads were idols so that probably was part of why they got the role lol but they’re also talented.

im sorry your college experience was like that it sounds like hell. 

ik i should say something if I feel i should but like i always think “maybe theres something im missing i dont want to talk out my ass” idk just how i am 

yesss im a large proponent of curating your own spaces i use the block button liberally. also just ignoring ppl who have meaningless opinions i disagree with. like i used to get myself in a tizzy in my head when i saw someone say something bad about something i like trying to justify to myself how theyre wrong. now im just like idc lol. 

i live in a city with a lot of out of state tourists and i just get to clean up after them for $11/hr 🙃

im def guilty of sometimes believing whatever leftist analysis i dee on the tl i really need to do start reading more theory/history but ive become illiterate. i learned about the stuff your referring to in a class last year but like im not gonna get into all that its just very complex.

atots is very romantic as a pisces it makes me want to die. ive never heard that story about SOPHIE thats lovely.

lol i lowkey tend to look at vague spoilers before watching any bl bc im picky and dont want to waste my time on something shitty its worked pretty well for me so far. your past obsession w/ lady gaga is understandable tbh. but yeah ive been waiting for all this to blow up in sibs face. i have no idea whats gonna happen tomorrow in the next ep. like obv gene is gonna forgive him but im excited to see his grovel. yeah i like up’s acting even tho his crying isnt my favorite bc he has great expressions. kao is eh. he was similarily as meh in uwma tho so i wasnt expecting much from him. i think tharn’s actor (mew) got so much worse about that pausing thing in season 2 it was terribleee. also i think tyoe’s actor (mew) is good but thats mostly bc i think he’s gorgeous. 

i dont think mhok and aey are stepbrothers but idk for sure. im thinking mhok is either a childhood friend or aey’s sisters bf. oh yeah fuck his sister. its probably partly bc hes gay but his father mentioned him being evil which ig can be referring to him being gay but idk. 

i liked color rush it had a unique premise. oooh i saw mr heart and to my star too. i think you already know my wbl thoughts so yeah ... i love shu yi and his dad needs to fuck off. i think the first season flowed much better than the current one. 

aw i feel like everyone like uwma for winteam but i love the main couple. fluke had to cry multiple times every episode and he did wonderfully. lol hes not the pale one who died tho that actor is earth/cooheart. he also cries a lot tho. fluke and earth are actually both openly gay irl love that. 

ah so its like the giver and the receiver. thats so stupid. makes me think of this political philosopher i read recently who thinks of marriage as inherently oppressive to women. which like .. word !!

yeah i used to read rpf but like it just doesnt align with my morals i cant. even if i dont think theyre real it still feels weird. lol i just watch from afar as stans think fanservice and queerbaiting mean these ppl are actually together lmao.

i just want gay ppl to be employed. if theyre selling the fetishization of gay men to girls then the gays need a cut of the check. the replacing a straight relationship with two men is why im fine when a bl has a homophobia storyline bc that gives it less straight vibes lmao. 

i still think about that scene in itsay where the gay one tries on his moms bra bc he thinks that what the other dude would want. and then has a breakdown bc thats not him. WOW art !! the girl was def utilized well in itsay i loved her. i havent seen my engineer but she sounds lovely. tiffy my love ... OKAY DONE

[halflingkima]

"friendly reminder: don’t be a separatist this pride!!” “friendly reminder: aces aren’t lgbt+!!” 🙃🙃🙃 (sorry if ur on mobile lol)

honestly this should just go in a private journal but who writes by hand anymore when you can have the false validation of the vague possibility that strangers on the internet may see an entry and agree with you.

everyone has a different story. everyone’s identity is unique and individual and everyone has a story of discovering their identity. aro/ace identities are a part of the lgbt community and a part of pride.

the community is about belonging. of finding a place where you’re not so alone. the lgbt+ community is an umbrella community composed of other communities because that’s generally how communities work. gay men don’t understand what it’s like to function in the world as a woman; bi women can’t experience what lesbians go through; cis people don’t experience transness and even different trans genders experience things differently. the umbrella community is where all the smaller communities unite through their shared experiences.

the most common anti-ace argument i’ve seen is that aces are “begging to be oppressed” and “don’t realize how good they’ve got it.” no, aces are not explicitly and intentionally oppressed as others are. they are, however, implicitly oppressed (there’s a better word i can’t think of rn), which can be a struggle to recognize and understand. 

yes, aces and particularly cishet aces, can get obnoxious. that’s what happens with separatism, when communities don’t interact and educate each other to help them grow. Calling aces out on homophobia and educating them is akin to calling white gays out on racism, male gays out on misogyny, cis gays out on transphobia, etc.

aphobia (though probably an incorrect term) is a thing, just not as the strawman version depicted in this blue hell. it’s talking someone into marrying because “that’s what you do.” talking someone into having sex bc it’ll “give you a taste for it.” characterizing children as purely results of sexual intercourse. (aphobia is not, say, criticizing someone for making derogatory comments about same-sex pda or calling someone out for slut-shaming.)

declaring that aces aren’t lgbt+ fosters an alienation and discourages people from exploring and discovering their identities. as does treating queer like a bad word. it’s one thing for individuals to not identify with the term or as a part of the queer community, it’s another to subtly condemn and shame those who do.

there’s a reason the acronym is lgbtq+. the q for queer and questioning. the + for those beyond, for those identifying somewhere in post-structural queerness. lgbtq+ is about recognizing social limits and acknowledging that they’re not natural, that we don’t fit inside of them. about pushing those boundaries and forcing them to shape to us, not the other way around. the Q and the + are there for those people who have taken the first step and declared “I don’t know what I am, but I’m here and I finally feel like I belong.”

Every individual has their own history and every community has theirs. There are gay people who come out painlessly. There are ace people who do not. There are gay people who don’t hate themselves for their sexuality and there are ace people who do hate themselves for their sexuality. Each community within lgbtq+ has its own history, albeit muddy and tangled. Including aces in the larger community does not erase or belittle or overshadow other smaller communities’ history.

Removing the Q/A/+ from the acronym and from the community at large hinders people from discovering who they are. I identify as queer and ace and almost always feel some degree of loneliness/distance/alienation in lgbt spaces. I’ve seen so many people describe finding their label (usually lesbian or bisexual) as “coming home.” That’s how I felt when I first used the word queer for myself. 

and yet i feel uncomfortable stating such labels aloud. and when I do manage to tell someone in an lgbt space that I’m queer, they respond “yeah, but what are you?” (as opposed to what attraction do u experience, what genders are you attracted to, what gender do u identify as, etc.)

I didn’t realize I was Queer until I realized I was Ace, and even then I started out as Questioning. compulsory heterosexuality had me thinking i was just a late bloomer, that i’d just naturally grow into sexual attraction to men, and then be able to differentiate between feelings toward men and feelings toward women. learning about asexuality allowed me to remove sex from the equation and realize that i’d be happy loving and growing old with someone of any gender.

seeing blanket statements like “aces don’t belong in our community” or “don’t use the word queer” feels like a metaphoric slap in the face invalidating who i am as a person. i realize that so many people in the lgbt+ community have it so much harder than i do – amongst all other privileges, i’m in a liberal area, i have queer friends and family members, i have an unrelentingly supportive mother, etc etc etc. I also realize that other smaller communities of lgbt+ face more direct, harmful, and immediate challenges than the ace community.

but this general community is a place of acceptance. a place where binaries blur and that’s completely okay. so to see members of this community preach against separatism and in the same breath exclude aro/aces, particularly during this month, is upsetting, to say the least.

[annikarachel]

Week Three: To Mr. Trump,

I’m writing with tears in my eyes as Donald Trump in an all-white-male-occupied room scratches his dick and signs away my body’s rights. I feel exposed, like these men are touching me in places I don’t want to be touched… “and I didn't know devils could be resurrected but I feel Hitler in these streets. A mustache traded for a toupee. Nazis renamed the Cabinet Electoral Conversion Therapy, the new gas chambers shaming the gay out of America, turning rainbows into suicide.”

 My heart is heavy as millions of “nasty women,” beautiful, strong, courageous women’s voices are ignored. Global Gag Rule – gagging my voice and my rights and my choice, today, one day after the 44th anniversary of Roe v. Wade.

 This week, blood will stain my sheets and my undies. I am a nasty woman… “We don't actually choose if and when to have our periods. Believe me if we could some of us would. We do not like throwing away our favorite pairs of underpants. Tell me, why are pads and tampons still taxed when Viagra and Rogaine are not? Is your erection really more than protecting the sacred messy part of my womanhood? Is the bloodstain on my jeans more embarrassing than the thinning of your hair?”

 I am a nasty woman. To me this means that I will fight against the racism, fraud, conflict of interest, homophobia, sexual assault, transphobia, white supremacy, misogyny, ignorance, and white privilege that is rearing its ugly, nastier-than-me-even head in our country. “Your daughter being your favorite sex symbol, like your wet dreams infused with your own genes. Yeah, I'm a nasty woman — a loud, vulgar, proud woman.”

 To watch the thousands of pro-life marchers, take up space in my streets…it ran shivers down my spine and brought cold tears to my eyes. Women, children…

 Men.

 GET YOUR ROSARIES OUT OF MY OVERIES. My body my choice. Tell the raped victim—mother to a baby that is her uncle’s that it is a sin to not have this child. Tell the young girl that she cannot have a future, that her grades will suffer in school because she must have a child she can neither afford nor care for.

 To the man who yells at me as I run by: how does this power feel to you? I am too scared to respond, too angry to not. Your heavy body and stronger arms could easily over-power mine if I say the wrong thing. You know this. So, I will wear loose jogging pants and hide my breasts and sweat in all these layers to hide my beauty from you. “I have yet to see in my country. I can't see. My eyes are too busy praying to my feet hoping you don't mistake eye contact for wanting physical contact. Half my life I have been zipping up my smile hoping you don't think I want to unzip your jeans…”

 Mr. Trump, you threaten my existence… and the existence of my sisters… of minorities and excuse me if I slip into Holocaust rhetoric but… blonde hair, blue eyes, fake tits is your America. But dark skin, blood-soaked clits, and queer lovers is not.

 Mr. Trump, my pussy IS NOT for grabbing and the walls of my uterus are stronger than any wall you can build.

 “Our pussies are for our pleasure. They are for birthing new generations of filthy, vulgar, nasty, proud, Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Sikh, you name it, nasty women.”

  Mr. Trump, you scare me and that is the truth. You make me shake with fear.

 But I know what my America looks like. And I will work, every day to infuse this America with TRUTH, INCLUSION,

 STRENGTH, RESISTANCE, RESPECT,

 LOVE.

(Please see Nina Donovan’s Nasty Woman poem -- from which I pulled quotes to add to this piece. I connect strongly with her energy and wanted to share) 

_______

Ok, Bennington College Field Work Term Office, I know you need me to tell me about how my week has been. As you can tell, I am so distracted. 

This week I worked on posting two more Sierra Club ICO Leader profiles to The Planet Blog http://www.sierraclub.org/planet . I began work on a story that will cover the crucial environmental justice work being done in both New Orleans (post-Katrina) and Memphis, Tennessee under the looming presence of Nuclear Waste Incinerators and threatened sustainence-source: the Mississippi River- where many individuals from low-socioeconomic backgrounds are fishing. The big fear is that with Trump’s new picks for cabinet and especially the EPA, a lot of work done towards helping individuals navigate a threatened environment will be undone. 

On Friday, The Sierra Club provide booze and glitter and people gathered to make signs for the Women’s March in Oakland and San Francisco. Both marches were widely attended by Sierrans. 

I have begun to remember some of the Sierra Club’s style guide for writing and Tom, my supervisor is not as inclined to red pen the entirety of the articles that I put on his desk for editing. Im proud of my work and happy to be in a place like this after such a devastating and traumatizing election. I feel hope when I am surrounded my hard workers-- un-relentless workers that I know will keep plugging along through thick and thin fighting for good for the environment and for humans. 

This is all I can write for this week. Its been a hard week.