#but it's like. idk. it's like ''how dare you throw away the identity you were given? who do you think you are?''

[maxbytes]

i won't lie i kinda wanna drop the Stefan name for just Max, but like. the entire reason why i kept Stefan is bc it's the masc form of my deadname and i don't hate my deadname so i can "settle" for the slight change. i can keep the vestiges of the self i grew up in so i don't rock the boat too much, it doesn't ask a lot from people. and there's this voice that's like "what did you do to """deserve""" to wear the nametag of your idealized self? this Max guy? you're not that guy. you wish you were that guy." but like what exactly do i have to do in order to be that guy? before i deserve to have his name? before i deserve to drop the self i had before?

[iconologist]

Waving my magic forget wand to pretend an entity I knew for a while did NOT happen and I never met them.

It's not like I'm fucked up for that. Not like it ever really mattered I think. I wouldn't know if it did.

At least the only thing that matters to me after the fact is if I'm a fucked up total narc for blocking them cold turkey.

I don't think I am, or ever was. It isn't wrong to push someone out of your life if none of it even had a positive impact on you I guess?

It being the conversations, the relationship. Of which, had no bearings on either side if it could be saved or if it should be.

So all I did was give up.

That's what I've been told to do about my relationship with my own partner or whatever by them.

I think if I told them about my relationship with them but without specifying who they were they would tell me to cut them off to.

Even my boyfriend doesn't think the very onesided relationship with them was good either. So. It's not a big deal. I didn't have much to begin with. So I'm not losing out on much either.

👀 Wasn't that what you were signing up for? With that specific broad genre of being friends with another Dirk?

No...How would I know any better about THIS Dirk's specific intricacies that don't mesh well with mine.

I dunno, I'm writing this at 5:52 AM on a Monday.

I just went to go on tumblr and check my notifications and I saw two messages from him because oops I didn't think I could block them on every blog I have I guess so I didn't and they were talking about "Ok bro" and something about being left with a "broom and dustpan" after I left.

Which I don't get because eh.. Why do you care.

Why'd you care enough to leave some snarky ass comments before you blocked me back on every blog I have.

🫡 Not like I'd have any chance of knowing now. Which is good. I never wanted to unblock him and I never wanted to now.

[4:04 PM] There isn't anything to *sweep* anyway besides me not blocking him on all my blogs because I didn't think to and him making my friend that was also friends with me block me after I blocked him. Or he couldn't of. My friend could of blocked me for any other reason. Without even a chance to explain my side of the story too. I guess they were always just bad friends. Better left in the dust than to rehash diving into that dumpster. Maybe the metaphor just fell flat on me Idk.

Just immature I guess. Getting in the definitive last word. It all yields the fattest and most robustly sarcastic eye roll in existence. And even in saying all of this I can't find anger in my heart of hearts soul. I'm indifferent. If anything makes me annoyed, it's that he dare take up any more head space in my mind ALL day when he isn't welcome there any longer.

The alleged man was important to me, what can I say besides always being deep down a sappy fella with too much sentiment then one guy alone can bare. But NOTHING and I mean nothing could deter my actions on kicking him out of the proverbial cranial cage my mind is because it's already too crammed in there to begin with and nothing he's said had lessened the load any. Which is fine, no one, especially friends, is obligated to do that and help me out obviously, I never wanted anyone to, I never had anyone to do that, not a standard for me. But even when he attempted to(?) it didn't help. The only big take away is that he made me realize I have OCD. Besides that, I also take away that he's too pushy and his persistent criticisms on my fragile sense of identity as a young growing lad were nothing more or less than harmful. Adjacent to delegitimizing my identity as just, me.

The weird thing with narcissists is that you can't tell whether or not there really is something extremely wrong with what they're saying or if you're going crazy because they don't accept any criticisms you make and just start throwing every seemingly reasonable excuse there is at you even if it doesn't work or apply to that specific context, it seems like a genuine lack of self awareness in that area. And the grand verdict is, that I didn't stick around to find out. Because I don't give a damn to speak to the guy anymore. I only think he's more of an asshole for dropping by a message just to get the last word in. The avoidant attached types are like that it seems. Two people I block (one of them been blocked by), one who has confirmed to be avoidant, and one who I highly suspect to be, both stop by to just leave a few last words. One I stayed with because they're a good person, my partner. And one I completely abandoned because they aren't. At least, he wasn't a positive influence. I don't seek after any further back and forth interactions. In my eyes, that isn't a good person. Not a good person to me. Doesn't treat me the way I treat them. And when pointing that out specifically, tossing all the excuses at me as to why he's in the right and how it's fine actually. And if that's the way he behaves in his twenties it's probably too late for him. He's pretty fairly forgettable though, I'll be just fine in a week. Just another screw up in a line of screw ups that enter and leave my life. Nothing more than more warnings to bare in mind for the ill advised keeping search outs for another person in sight to connect with. A big red flag. 🚩

KEY POINT. That was selfish of him. And I have better things to be doing. Better people to be around. Something like that.

I think it's safe to say that he's good as dead to me. Out of sight out of mind.

[7:02 PM] I guess he was right about something though, I miraculously seem to befriend bad people.

[vukovich]

peculiar prompt: soulmate au where your dick is the same exact length as your soulmate’s (i guess everyone has a dick in this universe idk 😂) anyways drarry discovering they are soulmates in whatever convoluted way you would like!

Nine and Three Quarters

Summer weddings were an unlikely tradition for a family that ran high to freckles and sunburns, but Harry didn't mind. Usually.

This wedding, though, he'd have just as soon not attended. It wasn't that he harbored any romantic intentions toward Charlie, but seeing him so bloody happy made Harry keenly aware of his own solitude.

Charlie and Constantin fed each other forkfuls of cake and grinned. They were perfectly-matched. Identical white short sleeve dress shirts and gold waistcoats, sparkling blue eyes and mirrored grins as they threatened each other with blobs of icing, much to Molly's horror.

Their matching gold rings felt like an extension of the tattoos on the underside of their left forearms. Charlie's was a dragon, of course. Constantin's was a crouched hippogriff. They were exactly the same size, but different designs and colors.

Forearm tattoos abounded among gay wizards, but it had taken seeing Charlie and Constantin together for him to notice the pattern. A plate of cake floated to his table and set itself down in front of him. He picked it apart with his fork, separating the layers of frosting out from the the cake, then mashed the fluffy cake down into a pellet.

A breathless Charlie flopped into an empty chair next to him and surveyed the wreckage on his plate.

"Got a grudge against that cake?"

"Huh? Oh. No. Sorry."

Charlie slid Harry's cake away, probably for its own good. Constantin and Fleur fox-trotted past, and one of them reached out to ruffle Charlie's hair.

"No date?"

"Nah." Harry licked his fork clean, rolled the bits of cake around in his mouth, and wished he'd have eaten the slice.

"Still doing the playboy thing, eh?"

Harry shrugged. "I guess."

Charlie huffed a laugh. "You guess? What else would you be doing at clubs?"

Harry shrugged again.

"Well, if you get tired of it and want the name of a really good soulmate tattoo artist, let me know." Charlie wiped up a dab of frosting off Harry's plate and popped his finger in his mouth. "Until then, enjoy hunting in the dark."

Charlie rose to leave, but Harry reached out and grabbed him by the buckle on the back of his waistcoat.

"Soulmate tattoos?"

--

--

"But I thought the tattoo went on my arm."

Harry kept his hands in his jeans pockets, just in case the man decided to help him disrobe.

"It does..."

Bushy grey eyebrows rose in speculation, and the man's brown eyes squinted at Harry, unsure of whether Harry was playing a prank, playing dumb, or playing at nothing.

"So why would I take my trousers off?"

"Riiiggght," he said slowly, gently spinning back and forth on his stool. "Why don't you tell me what you do know about soulmate tattoos."

Harry hooked his thumbs in his pockets and looked around the tattoo parlour for clues, but there was nothing but drawings on the walls. Pictures of forearms, too, all with differing sizes of beasts and creatures on them.

"Uhm," Harry started, "they go on forearms." The man nodded and motioned for him to continue. "And... they're... magic?"

The man shook his head and sighed. "The death of gay wizard culture, I swear. I blame that app."

"Wait, there's an app for-"

"Soulmate tattoos are the size of the wearer's dick."

Every tattoo Harry had ever seen ran through his head at once, and he stood slack-jawed for what felt like hours.

The man continued. "And so part of getting one is getting your dick measured. Professionally."

"I... Uh..."

"Men lie on the app. That's why all these boys are running around thinking they don't have soulmates, but older men know better. Back in the day, we'd just walk up to a bloke, line our arms up, and pair off."

Harry looked at the ceiling and tried to imagine a scenario in which that didn't sound both terrifying and oddly comforting.

"Why would you line them up?"

The man stared at him for a long. fucking. time.

"Soulmate dicks match, kid." He grumbled something about the Internet. "Now do you want the tattoo or not?"

"I... Uhm... Maybe later?"

"Suit yourself."

--

There had to be a better way to do this.

Harry balanced on tip-toe, focused on his dick with one eye, and dipped his quill. His tongue peeked out a corner of his lips as he concentrated on tracing around his shaft.

Was the quill angled accurately? Was the nib too far from his skin to be accurate? Was width even relevant?

He let out a held breath and dropped down to his heels. The paper on his desk was an embarrassment.

"Looks like a fucking caterpillar," he grumbled to himself.

Maybe they made enchanted quills for this.

--

The nook of art supplies at Flourish and Blotts was overwhelming, but it smelled good. Needle-sharp enchanted nibs sounded like a terrible idea. Image-grabbing paper sounded equally dangerous. What if he got his dick stabbed or absorbed into a piece of paper?

Someone cleared their throat behind him.

"Can I help you?"

Draco Malfoy met his eyes with a hesitant smile. He looked strangely at home surrounded by paper and ink. He wore a rumpled black t-shirt that advertised in bold white letters "Truth Quills: The Reign of Error Ends Here".

"Uhm... maybe?"

"What kind of project are you working on?"

"I'm... just... tracing something?"

Draco nodded and reached up to grab a pack of nibs just above Harry's head. The Dark Mark on his forearm caught Harry's eye. It wasn't a Dark Mark anymore. The skull wore a crown of red roses, and the snake had been filled in with vibrant yellow and blue markings. Harry decided it looked a bit like a Grateful Dead album cover. But prettier.

"These are good for most projects if you're just starting out."

Draco handed him a plastic box with more thingamajigs than he had any idea what to do with.

"Uhm, okay. Thanks."

"No problem." Draco's eyes wandered down to Harry's forearm and his smile faltered. "Anything else?"

"No, I think I'm good."

--

He wasn't good. He was nowhere near good, and he had black ink all over his dick. Also on his hands, and the table, and the floor, but those were less important.

"Looks like a goddamn Holstein dong."

--

"Alright," Draco said, and his smile was bordering on a smirk. "But what's the reference? What are you trying to trace?"

A dozen dick-shaped things came to mind, and Harry blurted, "A banana."

Draco did not laugh. Not with his mouth. Just with his eyes. His t-shirt today said "Blink Ink: Drier than your ex" in jagged black script.

"Mm hm," Draco squeaked through his nose. "Is accuracy important?"

Harry let out a relieved sigh. "Yes."

Draco cleared his throat and schooled his face. "Here."

He handed Harry a Truth Quill. "That ought to give you an accurate outline of your... banana."

--

"Hot damn!"

Harry held the outline of his cock up to the light. Damned if it wasn't perfect. He laid it face-down on his forearm and frowned. How was he supposed to get it onto his skin?

--

Draco faked a cough and covered his mouth and nose with his hand. "Pardon?"

"I need to transfer it."

"But a backlight won't work because..."

"Uhm... it can't... light can't go through the... other... thing."

Draco's t-shirt today had a frilly, looping font that said, "Nearotica: Almost There."

"Dare I ask what material you're transferring this banana onto?"

Harry focused on Draco's forearm, and the curve of the roses, and the sinewy body of the snake.

"Uhm... leather?"

Draco shot him a challenging look Harry didn't understand. "I suppose you'd want a cautery tool for that."

"Uhm... okay."

--

He wasn't okay. He had two burned dots on his forearm, and a hole in his paper at the base and tip of the outline.

Over a hundred galleons spent, and all he had to show for it were what looked like two mosquito bites that were exactly one penis-length apart.

The hell with all of it.

--

Harry dropped bags of barely-used art supplies on the store counter, and Draco's chin snapped up. He cocked his head and looked at the bags while Harry read his t-shirt: "Thrill Your Darlings: Tropes and Nopes."

"Didn't work out?" Draco asked.

Harry bent down, rested his elbows on the counter, and shook his head. "Can I return it?"

Draco shrugged. "Store credit, since it's all been opened."

Harry buried his face in his hands. "I'll take it in coloring books."

"I'll throw in some markers."

Draco shot him a pitying smile and stood to collect the bags. His eyes caught on the two burn marks on Harry's forearm. He set his elbow next to Harry's and pressed their wrists together.

"Huh," Draco exhaled. He rolled his tattoo against Harry's forearm. The peak of the rose crown touched the mark nearest Harry's wrist, and the snake's tail met the other.

Harry stared at their arms, wide-eyed and panicked in the best way.

"Is it-" Harry started. "Do they, uhm..."

"I... do believe so. If your banana outline was accurate."

Harry gulped. "It was."

"Huh," Draco repeated. "Well, in that case, there's a giant mandala coloring poster I've had my eye on, but it's a bit much for one person."

Harry let a grin spread across his face. "Consider it sold."

[dotster001]

Congrats on 500! I'd love a matchup if they're still open. Obey me, romantic please!

I'm not quite sure how to do this as ive never requested something like this before but I shall try.

I am 5'3, very pale with lots of freckles. Thick, curly, auburn hair, not quite orange enough to be qualified as a ginger but enough that I have to be wary on international hit a ginger day 😔 My hairs just past shoulder length and pretty messy so I usually tie it back, except for my bangs which are somehow even more messy, I tend to just brush them aside.

I'm a Sagittarius, INFP. I have a cat despite being severely allergic to them. My cat is my favourite thing in the wkrld. Literally my best friend, I don't care if that makes me a loser. She's great. And fluffy. And adorable.

I'm pretty sarcastic, sometimes I get carried away, to the point that I'm mean. I've been trying to do better though. I have pretty bad anger issues, I used to punch holes in walls when I was 3-14. Haven't done it in a while but I still feel anger most of the time. It's just that instead of reacting with violence I react with a cold sort of malice. I still have those out bursts of burning rage where I shout and throw things, but my last one was like a year ago so I'm pretty happy with how far I've come!

I've got ADHD. Common hyper-fixations include animals of all kinds. Crime, torture methods, serial murder etc... I've unfortunately become pretty desensitized to the kind of stuff I learn.

Ive always been creative. I love to read and write. I currently own over 500 books and I've read most of them. Recently I've been trying to get into gaming. I've only ever played games on the Wii and DS before. I love Kirby, the only two games I've ever finished are Kirby ones. I've even watched the anime.

I write mostly fantasy stuff, with magic and dragons. Love dragons. When I was younger I taught myself draconic just because I could. I do tend to write things a bit darker, I love a tortured protagonist. My current WIP shows an assassin joining a normal guild to maintain their cover (as they didn't kill a guild member who saw them and need to keep an eye on them to make sure they don't snitch). Then with time the assassin finds themselves getting attached to the guild and it's members, especially the younger ones. But oh no, their identity gets out and everyone turns against them! The whole things very convoluted honestly. Lots of blood and violence. I find it cathartic.

I also like to draw and paint though I'm not great at either. I tend to like to collecting things. I'm currently collecting the vintage Fear Street books- I started reading them like years ago now but since the movies come out they're so much harder to come by. I've only 40 or so to go though! I was probably too young to read them, won't go into details but there were deaths and scenes of violence in those books that I had no business reading when I was six.

I also collect Pokemon cards, though I'm not buying them as often. I wanted to get all the Eeveelotions, but then they came out with Sylveon and I quit because honestly how dare they? I was only two away and they made a new one. And it wasn't even a dragon type :( My big claim to fame is that I have a number of first edition cards, which is super fun!

I love music so much. I listen to pretty much every genre. My biggest are metal, indie and punk rock. But I also really like musicals. Right now my top songs are probably Ride the Lightning, Fleur de Lis, Ophelia, I Can't Decide, Don't Go Breaking My Heart, the other side of Hollywood and Mr Loverman. I play the baritone/euphobium- think a small tuba. I also play the guitar and harmonica (self taught!). I'm looking into getting an otamatone. My dream instrument, though, is the bagpipes.

My favourite movie of all time is How To Train Your Dragon. SAW III is a close second. Idk why I like SAW III so much, it makes me so angry I literally shake just thinking of it. But I also find it hilarious for the same reason it infuriates me. The main character is horrible. I make a point of watching it with every friend i make. All the homies hate Jeff.

My favourite season is winter because I love wearing toques and sweaters, curling up in fuzzy blankets, snuggling with my cat. I love the snow and the way it sounds beneath boots. I tend to dress mainly in black and red. Ripped jeans, steel toed boogs. I've got a ring in the shape of a snake and another with a bunch of eyes carved in it. I have a padlock necklace with an accompanying skeleton key necklace because I like things to fit together, y'know? I have a fairly eclectic earring collection. My favourite pair is a silver set made to look like meat cleavers.

So sorry for rambling, I have no idea what to say and ended up saying way too much but whatever. Thanks a bunch and congrats again! Go drink some water if you haven't in a while!

❄️☃️ anon

(Yo I feel your pain on the red head thing 😂 I'm strawberry blonde, and some people will fight to the death to say I'm a redhead. Stay safe out there 😂 Also, my cat's my best friend, so we can be losers together)

I match you with Lucifer.

To be totally honest, I could see you with every brother, and Barbs. But in the end, I feel like Lucifer just shone through. Especially when it comes to sarcasm. He can slice and dice someone in three words, so he'll give you a run for your money.

He loves how many instruments you know how to play, and may or may not be looking into finding the best bagpipes teacher to ever exist, so that you can both learn how to play together. Will make the other brothers play instruments as well so that you can all put on a concert for Diavolo.

He has all the ins and outs of everything, so he can help you build your collections. He makes it look like an illegal drug deal sometimes, and he's willing to pay waaaaay too much money for you to feel safe about your financial future, but he gets everything for you. Don't give up on your Eeveelution collection yet. He's got a lead.

He'll watch SAW III with you. He doesn't really understand why you continue to watch it if you hate Jeff so much, but it makes him feel soft inside to watch something you enjoy so much with you.

He birthed Satan from his wrath. He understands anger. If you get overly angry, he understands and will help you figure things out, calm down, or slice a bitch. He's flexible.

You'd gotten dressed to go out for the day, in your black ripped jeans and boots, a red blouse Lucifer had gotten for you, and that new pair of dragon earrings he'd also gotten for you. After finishing getting dressed, you headed to his office.

You knew he was the avatar of pride, but sometimes it was easy to forget until you saw him practically preening like this. He stood up from his desk, and took your hand, just staring at you for a moment.

"What is it, Luci? Is my beauty leaving you speechless?" You said with a playful eye roll.

He gave a booming laugh, before he drew you closer, and whispered, "Have you ever noticed how you tend to prefer my colors?"

"Huh, I guess I didn't," you said. "Anyway, where are we going today?"

He smiled, and again, his pride was staggering.

"We are going to practice your draconic, my love," he said, collecting a couple things and starting to leave the room.

"Wait, so that means..."

"Yes," he smiled. "I'm going to introduce you to my pet dragon."

[ray-ray-writings]

hihi!! could i get some sbi + bee hybrid reader? idk i just think hybrid readers are cool lmao (ps: can i be 🎮 anon?) (pss: i really hope i did this right i don't really request things often so sorry if it's bad or wrong)

(Of course!! Welcome 🎮 anon!!!!! This idea is so cute! As well as, I know you said SBI but we’re also including Tubbo in this because how could I talk about a bee reader and not include the bee man himself???) (P.S. This was not bad or wrong in anyway!!!!)(P.P.S. Last post of the night because I’m very tired! Maybe more tomorrow, I’m unsure because of my schedule)

So I picture that you would have little wings that would poke out of your back. You wouldn’t really be able to fly with them, but you would be able to hover and move from place to place if need be. Philza would help you take care of your wings because he also had wings. Of course they were very different, his had feathers and made it so he could fly and yours did not have feathers, but were translucent and made it so you could hover and travel short distances off the ground, but he knew how to take care of wings and was always willing to help you take care of yours. The boys also love looking at your wings. As I have mentioned, they’re translucent and just really cool too look at and so they would spend a lot of time looking at them and if you were okay with it, running their hands over it. 

You would love honey. Love making it, collecting it, eating it, you would love it. Tubbo would also love honey and would love to help you collect it and make it as well. You would sometimes get protective over your honey and wouldn’t let him near it but once he gives you a little pout, you’d let him have some. Your house would always smell like honey and you would always have at least three bottles in your home. 

Something very sweet that all the boys would do is they would constantly bring you flowers. You would always have vase upon vase of fresh flowers. This became a tradition when one time Wilbur handed you a flower to hold onto for a second and your face just lit up so brightly and you clutched the flower so tightly, bringing it to your nose and smelling so deeply that by the time you pulled your face away, pollen coated your nose. You were just so happy to have a new pretty flower in your possession. Wilbur wanted you to hold onto it for a second but he couldn’t take it away after seeing how happy it made you. Wilbur told his family about your reaction and so now at least once a day you get a new flower. Technoblade even built a greenhouse out in the middle of the tundra where he can grow flowers so he’ll always have one to give you if you come over. 

For my next trick I will now be telling you what type of flower that the boys give you the most often with no further explanation as to why I feel this way. Philza gives you poppies. Wilbur gives you cornflowers. Techno gives you dandelions. Tommy gives you tulips. Tubbo gives you sunflowers.

I imagine that sometimes when anyone accidentally bumps into you, you get mad. Like if you’re walking somewhere and your shoulder gets bumped, anger stirs up inside you and you glare at the person and your wings flutter a bit. Philza, Wilbur, and Tubbo all feel really bad when they do this. They will apologize and promise to give you an extra flower the next time they see you and you calm down. Techno just kind of stares at you and chuckles a little bit before murmuring a very small apology before moving on. When this happens, it takes a little longer for you to calm down, but once Techno brings you a small thing of honey, you calm right down. Tommy on the other hand will purposely bump into you to get you mad and then he will act like he did nothing wrong and that you’re over reacting causing you to get even more mad. It sometimes get so tense that Philza has to step in and make Tommy apologize to you and give you a flower. You huff, but accept the apology and the flower, ignore Tommy for a few hours but eventually get over it. 

Another thing that makes you mad is when people disturb your nest. You don’t have a traditional bee’s nest. It’s a little nest in it’s own room of your home where there is a bunch of shelves full of honey and lots of windows with vases of flowers sitting in them. There is a small couch in the room with many blankets and a table in front of it that you use to make honey. You spend a little bit of time in the room everyday just to settle down and relax. One time Tommy was over and he found the room and accidentally knocked over a bunch of honey bottles and messed up your blankets. You got so mad that you almost bit him (more on that in the next paragraph). Tommy was really scared of you in that instance and he bolted out of your house, you chasing behind him. He ran to Phil’s house and explained what was going on. Once again, Philza had to calm you down and tell you it would be alright. He would follow you back to your house and help you fix the nest before giving you flowers, honey, and sugar water. 

So back to the biting thing. So I imagine that you wouldn’t have a stinger. No instead you would have the urge to bite the things that annoy/scare you. The bite would hurt as much as a bee sting and would leave a little bump like stings do. Sometimes if you’re really pissed off, you would pump a little bit of the venom that bees have. Each of the boys have definitely received a bee bite from you because they made you very upset. They would just be talking and you would reach out, grab their hand, bring it to your mouth, and just give their arm a bite. Once you had bit someone, the anger and frustration would leave your body and you’d be okay. Tommy would let out a little scream and go running off to Phil screaming “they bit me! They bit me!” But Phil, who has also been bitten by you is just like “What did you do to piss them off?” Phil when he got bit was shocked but instantly asked you what happened. You would explain to him how he was upsetting you and the only way you could express that was through your ‘sting’. Phil would then learn to read your body language and know when you were reaching that point and would pull back on whatever was happening. Wilbur would pretend that he was offended, just to make you laugh. After you bit Phil, he had explained to all the boys what had happened and not to freak out if it happened to them and to try not to get you to that point. But when Wilbur accidentally did, he would let out a fake gasp of offense, “You dare bite me? Your absolute favorite person in the world?! How dare you!!! I think you need to be taught a lesson” He would then throw you over his shoulder, causing you to giggle like a madman, no longer mad at the man who had you captive. Techno would just accept it and continue on with whatever he was talking about. He would just keep talking as you bring his arm to your mouth and bite him. He doesn’t even react, just lets you do it. After you let him go he pauses and quietly goes, “Feel better?” And you feel slightly guilty but you nod, and he nods too and says, “Okay then good… Back to what I was saying” Tubbo would just be so confused when it happened. He was there when Phil told them, but he didn’t really understand. “You bit me!” He’d exclaim in surprise as you pull your mouth away. “Yeah and you were irritating me… Now we’re even” He would then go back to Philza and he would have to explain to Tubbo again what had happened. Once he understood, he would go back to you and apologize. 

No matter your gender identity, the boys call you “Queen” (Unless you are completely uncomfortable with that, then they will call you ‘Your Highness or your majesty). But if you don’t know, bee’s have a hierarchy where the queen is the top most important bee that is to be taken care of at all costs. So the boys affectionately call you their queen. You are very precious to them and you are the ruler of the hive. Sometimes when they’re joking around and messing around with you they’ll just go “Oh Queenieeeeeeeee” which makes you roll your eyes but also smile at the cute nickname. 

Thank you for this request! I really loved writing it and I really hope you enjoyed reading it!!!

[backtothestart02]

Don’t Give Up On Me - 1/? | westallen fanfiction

A/N: Idk what this is. It was gonna be the next Muse chap with just a couple paragraphs of angst, but I managed to change it into nearly 2k of angst and I can’t bring myself to write the happy ending tonight, so it’s turned into a two-shot that I’ll hopefully finish later this week. Enjoy. Bring tissues.

...

Synopsis: Early S7 - Barry and Iris deal with the after effects of the Mirrorverse on Iris.

...

Chapter 1 -

It was a dark, dreary day in Central City.

Iris sat in a light sweater, jeans, and fuzzy socks by the window, her long hair cascading down her back, her forehead pressed to the chilled glass, and didn’t say a word. She’d been silent all morning, sipping her dark roast and forcing small smiles towards Barry whenever he approached her.

It wasn’t that she didn’t appreciate him being near. Hell, she’d been without his presence for months, and it nearly killed her. Just being able to feel him nearby was a relief and soothing to her worn-down senses. But she was so lost in herself, still recovering from all that had happened, that on days like today with crime at a low and both she and Barry off work because of the weekend, she really let herself accept what had happened to her and how far she still had to go.

It had been three weeks since she escaped the mirror verse and together with Barry and team Flash defeated Eva McCulloch once and for all. It had given her a high at the time, and frankly she’d just been glad to be alive and sane and reunited with the people that she loved, especially Barry.

But as time passed she started to face the reality of all that she’d lost, the fact that her doppleganger had been able to convince everyone for so long that she was the real Iris. On the surface she didn’t blame anyone. Mirror Iris was a very good actress, because in a lot of ways she was her. She had the same memories, knowledge, emotions… But she wasn’t alive. She wasn’t human. She wasn’t Iris. And for months Iris had been screaming into the void, the ever-present mirror that occasionally let her see her family and friends, that they see the truth. And how could they not see it?

Especially Barry. Barry knew her so well…

Later she’d come to learn that he had suspected Mirror Iris right from the start. She had cooked better, spoken in a foreign language fluently, and hit some guy over the head with a glass bottle, a boundary Iris herself probably wouldn’t have crossed, even undercover. She’d spoken the truth about how she felt about Barry always putting her in a corner when it was time to fight the bad guys, but Iris would’ve never started an argument just for the sake of it. She wouldn’t have made her husband think they were growing apart or that he wasn’t proud of her. She wouldn’t have stormed off.

In the following weeks, she wouldn’t have shut down around him if he didn’t give her what she wanted. When he reassured her that he trusted her, she wouldn’t have merely smiled and thanked him and walked away. She wouldn’t have spent the night away from him while he merely sat reading in the dark. She wouldn’t have told him that it was for the best that the speed force was dead, and he’d lose his speed indefinitely. She knew how big a part of his identity being the Flash was. If he wanted to walk away from it, that was one thing. But to encourage it when he didn’t? She would have never done that.

The revelation that Mirror Iris had slept with her husband, both literally and sexually, hadn’t hit Iris hard at first, but in time it did. How could Barry not tell? In their most intimate moments, how was he not aware that it wasn’t really her?

But when she learned that at the same moment she had declared her undying love for him with her hand pressed to the mirror of another universe, so had he? She forgot all of that. How could she blame him, especially when he realized it was her after she did the most heinous thing? Mirror Iris had tried to fracture their marriage.

How dare she.

Iris would never. And Barry knew that. He knew it.

Everything started to align after that. In the end, Iris had saved herself, shocking everyone and slapping Barry with a burden of guilt unintentionally. Because she’d nearly gone mad, and he hadn’t connected the dots soon enough, and he should’ve been able to rescue her. He was her husband, the Flash. She might not be a damsel in distress, but she needed his help, and he failed her.

Her ever-constant need to be near him, to touch him, to make love to him helped ease his guilt. She was just so glad to be back and to be with him. She forgave him, she said. She loved him, she said. She never wanted to lose him again.

But that was the first week.

It had been two weeks since then, and Barry could feel them growing apart. Iris didn’t say it, but he wondered if she was starting to blame him for not figuring out she was gone sooner. They hadn’t made love in a week, and the last time they had, it had been the result of a fight. He had started it. He’d wanted to push her into admitting she hadn’t really forgiven him.

She hit him with the blow he hadn’t been expecting, even though his argument implied he should have.

“I have forgiven you,” she’d said, tears fresh in her eyes. “But forgiving and forgetting are two different things.”

And he’d felt so empty, he didn’t know what to do. Tears started to stream down his cheeks at the reality that she would never forget how he’d been with someone that wasn’t her, even if he’d been unaware of it at the time.

She approached him then and laid her hand over his heart.

“I blame her, not you. She manipulated you. She made you think I wasn’t your home.” Her voice cracked.

“Then why did you need to forgive me?” he asked sadly.

She kissed him, unwilling to answer his question, not really knowing how to. She walked backwards till she fell back on the bed and eagerly stripped him of his clothing, as he did hers. They made love that night with the intensity of a lightning storm. And in the morning, they were okay again; except they weren’t really. And Barry didn’t know how to fix it.

But he didn’t bring up the subject again. He didn’t want to fight. So instead he walked around her as if on eggshells. He did whatever he could to make her happy. But they didn’t make love since that night, and they rarely kissed, except for a peck here and there when leaving for work or arriving home. Barry still dropped off love letters at her work during her lunch hour, but she didn’t acknowledge them when she got home anymore like she used to. He wondered if there was any use writing them at all. For all he knew she was throwing them away.

His carefully written, poured from his soul love letters to his beautiful wife might be in the trash. And that worried him most of all.

“Want a refill?” he asked, now, in the present, forcing himself out of his morbid thoughts. Because the day itself looked morbid, and Iris looked sad, and all he could think of was to give her more dark roast, because hell, he knew she at least wouldn’t turn down that.

“Hmm?” she asked, turning away from the window to see him holding the coffee pot before her. “Oh.”

Her brows furrowed, then she looked down into her half-empty cup.

“No, I still have some.”

“Is it cold though?” he asked, before he could get down on himself.

She took a sip.

“Mm…lukewarm.” She wrinkled her nose and held out her mug, and he filled it up to the brim. “Thanks, babe,” she said and took a sip before settling in at the window again.

He nodded once, too afraid he’d say something he’d regret if he opened his mouth again, and returned the pot to its holder in the kitchen. He stood there for a while again, watching his wife. She didn’t seem to notice, and she noticed even less when he went upstairs to change and then sped out of the loft to take a run in the rain.

He needed to get away, to figure things out, to put his relationship, his wife, back together again. As fate would have it though, he was unable to come up with anything any more than the previous times he’d gone out for a run for this exact reason.

Realizing staying out any longer wouldn’t do any good, he sped and stopped abruptly once inside.

Iris wasn’t sitting by the window anymore. In fact, she was coming down the stairs when she stopped suddenly, spotting his sad-looking self standing in front of the door.

“Oh, my God, Barry, you’re dripping! Let me-”

She rushed to get some towels and help him dry off.

“I figured you’d left, but I didn’t realize it was to run in the rain. Of all the stupid-”

He tensed, and she stopped herself. She met his eyes and searched them with concern.

“Barry… Are you okay?”

And he hated himself. Because she’d been about to lash out, but she held back because she knew it would hurt him. He wished she’d just hurt him. This dancing around each other thing they were doing was only making things worse. He wished she’d just acknowledge it. If she couldn’t get over what he and Mirror Iris did, the least she could do was be upfront about it.

He didn’t answer, so she pressed forward as if she had.

“Why don’t you go take a shower?” she suggested softly. “I’ll order some take-out and we can watch a movie after.”

‘You’ll touch me?’ he almost said but held back. That would start a fight. He didn’t want to fight, but he didn’t know how to act anymore.

So, he just nodded and said, “Okay.”

Iris forced another smile and headed into the living room to retrieve her cell phone and make the call. Barry sped up the stairs, lightning crackling behind him, so she wouldn’t see him dragging his feet the way he wanted to.

Then he entered the bathroom, undressed and turned on the shower. The hot water should’ve been soothing, a relief to him after the cold rain that had nearly drowned him as he ran outside. But it only made him want to scream, want to yell, want to shout. He wanted to bang on the walls because how in the hell did he pull them out of this emptiness.

The evening would be fake, put on as a means of not fighting and because both of them were tired.

As it turned out, when Barry finished with his shower and dressed in a t-shirt and sweats, he came downstairs to the sight of Iris sleeping on the couch. He lifted her up and carried her to bed. When the delivery man came, Barry paid him and stuck the food in the fridge. He wasn’t feeling real hungry anyway.

...

*Will post on AO3 and FFnet when beta’d.

[woulddieforperrytheplatypus]

Let's say Perry is allowed to reveal his secret identity now that Doof has given up being evil. As we all know, the last time he revealed his was an agent to the boys, they were all in an insanely dangerous situation and it was too much to take in at once. How does Perry do it this time? He sets up a "scavenger hunt" for the family. One by one, he leaves clues for the kids to find and pick up on, like his human-like expressions, his har, his lair entrances, the pamphlets, the 2D slideshow, etc.

OOH NOW THAT IS AN IDEA 👀 if I wasn't already writing a fic that's on a deadline I would totally write this as an actual fic right now like I'm not even joking (but since I don't have time to write a whole new fic atm I'm gonna do that summarizing-my-ideas-in-seven-million-incoherent-paragraphs thing I do way too often and then maybe write a fic later (unless someone else wants to write it *wink wink nudge nudge*))

First of all, I think it's worth noting that the reason Perry can't reveal his identity is that it would put his family in danger and OWCA's insurance wouldn't cover it if they got hurt, so for Perry to be allowed to reveal his identity, he'd probably have to leave OWCA entirely. Given his reaction to being replaced by Peter the Panda in It's About Time, I can absolutely see him deciding that if he's not thwarting Heinz, he doesn't want to work for OWCA anymore. If he was willing to hang up his hat all the way back in season one, by the end of the summer, there's definitely been enough development in their relationship that he'd probably consider his job entirely Heinz-centric and not want it any other way (does this make sense idk what are words)

That's important for three reasons. One: it's just cute that he likes Heinz so much. Two: it means he probably won't be sneaking away as much during the day (though I'd assume he does still visit Heinz every few days). Three: it's a great opportunity to plug my fic about Perry retiring from OWCA and revealing his identity to his family (but it's via kinda a family meeting and Carl's there bc Carl's Best Boi™ which I'd thought was cute until I saw this idea and now I think this one's cuter lol)

Now, onto the show! or, you know, the long rant. same thing.

I think he'd probably start with subtle facial expressions. Maybe Ferb would give him some belly rubs and he'd smile a little, or Candace would tell at him and he'd glare at her — enough that they'd definitely notice, but not necessarily enough that they'd know they saw it. And it would be entirely situational, too — I don't think he'd acknowledge words yet; he'd acknowledge actions and tone of voice, but that's about it.

And then after a couple days, when he knew Phineas and Ferb (and maybe Candace; I'm not sure when she's pick up on it) were keeping an eye on him, he'd make it a little more obvious. He'd give slightly bigger smiles or more aggressive glares, so the kids wouldn't just think it was them picking up on more of his body language now that he's home now — they'd have to realize it's a genuine change at this point.

And maybe that's around when he starts reacting to words. Linda would ask if Perry's been fed yet, and Perry immediately runs to his food bowl (whether he's been fed or not; he would gladly accept an extra meal). Or Candace makes a sarcastic remarks, and Perry growls at her. Things that he'd obviously have to understand the words for because there's no obvious tone of voice for an ordinary pet to pick up.

And when everyone's thoroughly confused (not suspicious yet, but confused) he moves on to the hat. He'll be sitting out in the yard with the boys over the weekend while they're trying to think of an invention for the day, and when they both look away for a split second, he slips his fedora on and pretends nothing happened. The boys definitely wouldn't take it from him — they saw him on the chimney with a pair of binoculars once and shrugged it off — but they'd get a good laugh out of it.

And then they're hanging out in the bedroom and the boys look away and Perry puts his hat on again, and this time it's still funny, but it's weird. Where does this fedora keep coming from? He didn't have it a second ago. It definitely wasn't lying around the room. It just appeared on his head. And then the next evening during dinner, it happens again. Perry has no hat, he walks under the table, and walks out the other side with a fedora on. Ferb points it out, and Perry just smiles.

I feel like he'd have to go a little further before showing them the lair. Maybe he starts "standing on his hind legs," but with his butt on the ground so he's still technically sitting but more upright than usual. Maybe he uses his hands more, picking things up or hitting things around. Maybe Phineas is about to do his homework and realizes he doesn't have a pencil, and Perry throws one at him and then immediately drops to all fours, but purposely does it slow enough that Phineas and Ferb notice that he did it. 

I'm gonna kinda switch the order up on you here. A week or so into this, Perry starts walking away. Perry never walks away. He's always either there or he's not; they never see where he's going. So Phineas and Ferb follow him, and they see him take the tunnel in the side of the house down to his lair. Now, Perry has absolutely no idea whether he should expect them to follow him, but he's hopeful. And, sure enough, they do, only to realize it's yet another entrance to the spy lair that Ferb built over the summer — except this time, Ferb finally gets to say that he didn't build it. They both look at Perry like they're expecting him to come out and say something, but he just starts walking up the stairs to leave (which admittedly is a pain in the ass but it's not like he can take the hovercar)

And maybe that night, Perry decides to take it a little further. He waits until the kids are asleep and then hops off the bed and just stands there, waiting for someone to wake up. And it takes a while -- long enough that Perry’s starting to debate just giving up and going back to sleep -- but then Ferb opens his eyes just a little... and then sits up and rubs his eyes because there is no way he’s seeing that. And this time, because it’s dark and it’s late and Ferb’s tired, Perry just stays standing there and looking at him, and, because he’s feeling particularly daring, he waves. Ferb just stares at him for a solid 30 more seconds, so Perry gives him an awkward smile. Without taking his eyes off the platypus, Ferb stands up, walks over to Phineas’s bed, and wakes him up. Phineas is just like ??? and Ferb’s like, “Do you see this, too?” and Phineas looks over and Perry just walks over to the bed (on his hind legs), hops up, and curls up next to him like nothing happened. And, like, what do you do in that situation, right? So Ferb just goes back to bed, and Phineas closes his eyes again, and they both go back to sleep.

And in the morning, the first thing Phineas and Ferb do when they wake up is look at Perry, who’s now snuggled up on Ferb’s bed (because his bed-switching isn’t going to change just because he’s slowly giving up his cover). Perry doesn’t do anything at first, so the boys look at each other and Phineas is like, “Last night, did he...?” and Ferb just nods and they both look back at Perry who just gives them that small smile that you’re never really sure if you see.

And I wanna get Candace in on the action so let’s say this time when Perry walks away, it’s right after the boys’ Sunday invention, and Candace is all annoyed that she couldn’t bust them and Perry looks up at her and then walks away, and usually she wouldn’t care but she’s bored and annoyed and what can it hurt, you know? And Perry leads her to the staircase and picks up the handle to open it in his mouth and then drops it to let Candace get at it, so she opens it and sees the staircase and immediately runs back to the house like “MOM THE BOYS BUILT AN UNDERGROUND STAIRCASE IN THE BACKYARD” and Phineas and Ferb are like “No we didn’t?” so they follow her out there and Perry’s still standing there and Phineas wonder aloud if it leads to the same spy base as the tree and the house and Candace is like ?!?!?! 

And Perry hops on the railing and slide down the stairs (because he is not climbing down all of them) and the kids have to follow on foot because they would absolutely not fit on the platysized railing. That gives Perry extra time to get set up, so when they get to the lair (again), Perry’s standing on his hind legs, wearing his fedora, and using his computer. 

I feel like Candace would be the one to ask what’s going on because a) she hadn’t been paying as much attention as the boys, b) she didn’t see Perry standing the night before, and c) she hadn’t seen the lair before. And Perry just walks over and hands them each the “So You’ve Discovered Your Pet Is A Secret Agent” pamphlet and they’re just like 0_0 and as they’re flipping through it Perry goes back to working on his computer.

There has to be some sort of conversation here, but at this point, they’ve been seeing so many clues that I don’t think they’re too surprised, which was the whole goal -- they were never supposed to figure it out, but they were supposed to have some idea that he was more than what meets the eye. So let’s say the first question is from Phineas, who asks if Perry can talk, and Perry shakes his head. So Candace asks, just to double check, that he can understand them, and Perry nods. So then she asks if he’s always been able to, and he nods again. And Phineas asks why he’s never told them, and that’s when the computer comes in.

Perry opens the folder full of second dimension pics and he flips through them slowly so the kids can see them, and at that point there are way too many questions for him to keep up with so he doesn’t bother. And eventually they’re done looking at pictures, and Phineas asks when that was and why they don’t remember it, so Perry takes his pamphlet and circles the line about host families and memory erasing and relocating and then he hands it back, and Phineas reads the line out loud so Ferb and Candace can hear, too. Ferb’s the one to connect the dots and realize that the reason they don’t remember those pictures is that they had their memories erased, which Perry confirms, and Phineas asks why he’s telling them now if they’re either going to have their memories erased or lose him (and then proceeds to get very nervous about losing him) and Perry takes the pamphlet back again and adds a little carrot in the title between “your pet” and “a secret agent” and writes “used to be” and they realize that means they get to keep him as a pet and know everything and it’s a happy reunion and nothing like the second dimension and everyone lives happily ever after! 

... that was the least coherent thing i’ve ever written in my life

[justcallmenikki7]

Reassurance: Min Yoongi

Summary: Your boyfriends worries sets Suga, his alter ego, and you are the only one who can reassure him that you are never going to leave

Warnings: split!au, mentions of murder, mafia au so whats new lmao, fluff, and anxiety??

Notes: My goal for this reaction is to have it more realistic.. at first i wanted to write something different and more badass, but Split Personality is a real mental disorder and is something that is rare. I am doing research on it since it is something that really intrigues me. Not all of my reactions for a split au will be this .. idk, but my goal as a writer is to write something that is realistic but at the same time imaginative. 

Waking up to a phone call from Namjoon, your boyfriends second in command, asking for you to come to the base because Suga was out, was not one of the best ways to wake up too. Why? Because it takes a lot to get Suga clear minded and not on a murdering spree. If you were wondering, no he does not kill his own men, he just goes to the dungeons and tortures the ones who hold information.

Sighing, you put your hair up into a pony tail because you knew that the next few hours will be hectic. As you walked through the doors of the base, you could see some of his gang members sitting quietly at the table, working on whatever work that your boyfriend assigned them. They knew not to do anything that requires them to talk to their boss since they do not want to be in the path of his wrath.

Namjoon was leaning on the wall beside the doors that lead to your boyfriend’s office, texting someone on his phone (probably his boyfriend Seokjin). Once he was that it was you walking up to him, the man released a heavy sigh, “He has not stopped destroying his office the past hour. I already have had Taehyung order one of everything in that office to be replaced.” Namjoon told you, rolling his eyes at your boyfriends’ actions.

As you were going to ask what caused your boyfriend to act this way, Namjoon had already beat you to it. “Truthfully, I do not know what set Yoongi off to have Suga come to the surface. I remember you saying how it has been a while since Suga has appeared, but this is … worse than ever before. He literally went and killed one of our suspects down at the dungeon because he said your name in the wrong one. No torture or anything.”

Eyes wide, jaw dropped opened slightly, the information was not what you were suspecting. Usually, Suga is much more controlled and not this destructive by a small action. Without saying anything, you nodded your head at Namjoon as a silent thanks and walked past him to get to your boyfriend. Opening the door, you cautiously made yourself present to your boyfriend.

“Suga, it’s me.” You called out, wincing when you heard another glass break. After that, you heard footsteps comes towards the door. Without warning, your boyfriend pulled you into the office and slam the door shut, causing you to jump from surprise.

“Who called you?” Was the first question Suga asked you.

“Namjoon.” You stated, looking up at your boyfriend, frowning at the anger that is apparent on his face.

“I told him not to call you.”

“Well, Im glad that he did because of your current state. Love, you should not trash your office out of anger, we built that safe room for a reason, so you won’t severely hurt yourself. Look at you! You’re bleeding on your hands and you have a cut under your eye! What if glass got into your eye!” You stressed out, upset that your boyfriend was too angry to notice his injuries. You are happy that it is not as bad like it was a year ago, but him hurting himself in general upsets you.

“I’m fine, baby. Its nothing new.” He rolled his eyes, but a small smile on his face showing that he has at least calmed down a bit.

Huffing, you brought your hands to his face to inspect the scratch underneath his right eye. “What set you off anyways, you haven’t been out in a while…” you softly asked, wiping away some of the blood with your thumb. You could tell that the question made him go back to his reserved side. “And don’t you dare try keeping this from me because this is serious.”

Biting his lip, he looked away from you before looking right into your eyes, “You know how Yoongi gets when he’s vulnerable – he worries and overthinks. Well, lately he has been keeping me away because he worries that you will someday leave him because of, basically, me. He is worried that you see him as a freak and shit, which is false. But him continuing to speak negatively soon started to have me think the same way and I just lost it.”

Sighing, you looked down with your eyes closed, trying to process his words. After a minute you finally spoke up, “Yes, dating someone who has an ‘alter ego’ or, ‘Dissociative identity Disorder’ is something that is a lot since it is rare, and also challenging. I do not know how it is for you both mentally, but I know you are you. I do sometimes get worried because I literally do not know what to do in certain situations, but I do know that I love you both. I love Yoongi just as much as I love you. You are Yoongi’s better half while he is yours. You both balance each other out. I love you both so much that I would not want to have it any other way.” You stated firmly, giving your boyfriend a teary smile.

“Really?” this time Yoongi asked, causing you to choke on a sob.

“Really. Leaving you has never crossed my mind, Yoongi. You’re my everything.”

At your promise, Yoongi let out a few tears before throwing himself in your arms, needing to feel your affection and mentally reassure himself that you are there. And this is why you love both Yoongi and Suga. Yoongi is the softer one of the duo where as Suga is the more rougher one, but still loving as ever.

[spacesunflcwer]

reasons why i love pride & prejudice, specifically the 1995 adaptation

(ok when i started this i was going for a list of reasons but it ended up more like live commentary of the series oops)

it's so accurate???!? i read the book for the first time after having seen the miniseries like 4 times and i was stunned by how identical the dialogue was

"oH mr bEnNEt"

literally all of mr and mrs bennet's dialogue is hilarious. she's such a drama queen and he's just there like please shut up but also sassy

mr darcy at the first ball is literally like a socially awkward emo teenager who hates everything whose mum (mr bingley) is encouraging to be more social and make friends lmao

when mr darcy compliments lizzy's eyes to miss bingley and she's so offended..... she's like wtf fitzwilliam how dare you appreciate a peasant??!?

elizabeth "i promise i shall never dance with [mr darcy]" bennet hahaha think again lizzy

when jane gets invited by miss bingley and mrs bennet is like go on horseback because it looks like raining so you'll spend the night lmao this woman is ready to do anything to see her daughters married huh

all the awkward encounters between elizabeth and darcy when she goes to netherfield like when she walks into the biliard room and they just stare at each other until she leaves lmao

that scene when they're all in the drawing room and miss bingley is like let's go for a walk around the room to refresh ourselves lmao people in the 19th century were really bored huh

the amount of tension between lizzy and darcy when they have that conversation about pride sksksksks

mrs bennet sure knows how to throw shade (at darcy) lmao

MR COLLINS

i really dislike him because he's so annoying but he's also so stupid and full of himself in a funny way it's hilarious i love it lmao

i literally lose it every time he mentions lady catherine de bourgh which is A LOT

just the tone in his voice when he says is so funny to me

for real why didn't mr collins go for mary she's literally the female equivalent of him like.....

oh wait i know why misogyny lmao

you know, i'm not going to talk about wickham because fuck him

the netherfield ball!!!!!

when miss bingley goes up to lizzy to diss wickham and lizzy looks so ready to cut a bitch lmao

when mr collins goes up to darcy to talk about lady catherine and lizzy and jane are like oh god oh fuck someone stop him shit it's too late and then darcy is like *read at 7:39pm* ajsnsjsks

ok but when mrs hurst goes and plays the piano that was amazing i don't like her but that was really good

mr collins's proposal. just. when he's like "let me tell you the reasons why i want to marry. and then the reasons why i want to marry you specifically" like pull out a whole powerpoint presentation why don't you

oh and OF COURSE lady catherine de bourgh is amongst the reasons ("that should have been the first reason actually")

when lizzy says no for like the second time and he's like "ah but a lot of times women refuse when they really mean to accept" unfortunately not much has changed in the way of men has it, no means no!!!

"if you do not accept his proposal, your mother will never see you again. and if you do accept his proposal, i will never see you again" i'd forgotten how much i love mr bennet he's so great

when lizzy finds out he proposed to charlotte and charlotte accepted and she's like BITCH WHAT THE FUCK

literally fuck miss bingley what a bitch. let jane be happy!!! fuck you

oh my g o d when they go to visit charlotte and mr collins and he starts going on about the STAIRS and how their steepness is ideal and the closet in lizzy's and how lady catherine suggested they put shelves in and cOuSiN eLIzAbEth LoOk hOw prAcTicAL iT iS laDy cAthEriNe tHinKs oF evErYtHinG shE's sO gOod tO uS

lmao when charlotte is like yeah i like my life most days we barely even see each other

when they go to rosings park and mr collins won't shut up about the 64 windows of the house and how amazing they are

lmao when lady catherine asks lizzy something and then turns away and lizzy CONTINUES TALKING and lady catherine just turns slowly like bitch wtf did i allow you to keep talking

when darcy won't stop STARING AT HER (because he's so in love) and she's there like wtf

the scene at the piano omg the amount of romantic tension between them and the staring at each other again god help me i love them so much

lmfao when mr darcy randomly visits lizzy and just sits with her for like 5 minutes and then gets up and leaves mood tbh

i will never get tired of the love confession scene tbh he goes in and literally walks around the room sits down gets up walks around some more for like 5 minutes before he finally starts talking

"in vain i have struggled. it will not do. my feelings will not be repressed. you must allow me to tell you how ardently i admire and love you."

and then elizabeth is like bitch what the fuck and pulls out a 40 slide powerpoint on why she could never love him

which was completely justified of her btw. darcy was a dick back then

the sequence at the beginning of ep4 when they're both having flashbacks to what the other said lol

also when lizzy has those flashbacks where darcy's full face just randomly appears out of nowhere like a ghost yeah what the fuck was up with that it’s SO WEIRD

when they go dine at rosings for the last time and lizzy is full on sarcasm about how oh so sad she is to be leaving and oh so grateful to lady catherine and mr collins loses his shit because he thinks she's being serious lmao

honestly though when she's all dramatic about darcy to maria but without actually saying anything and maria is just like ok wtf but whatever i guess, and then she does that again to her aunt and uncle when they're at pemberley and she's all like wE hAvE tO LeAVe nOw and they're just there like ummm ok?? what just happened here. i mean this is a thing that she does frequently and idk i'm wondering how her general acquaintance feel about it. like every once in a while she'll go all dramatic and everyone is like oh there goes lizzy dramatising her life and not explaining anything to anyone, again

lmao when maria tells her she's been packing and unpacking all night and lizzy tells her she can pack it however she wants and lady catherine will never know. like yes maria you are a strong independent woman and can pack your suitcase however you please

when lydia gets invited to brighton oh noooooooooooooo

time for kitty to develop her own personality i guess lol

i will never get tired of elizabeth only deciding to go to pemberley because she's 100% she won't run into darcy and then she does

also when they're staring at the house and she's like damn that is a nice ass house

i love how bad the paintings of darcy inside the house are because everyone is look how beautiful he is! and what a realistic painting this is! and then they show it and you laugh at loud because that shit is UGLY and nowhere near like colin firth

i still don't understand why darcy jumped in that pond. was it because he was trying to clear his head to not think about elizabeth? was this something he did regularly on his way home?

on that note, if he did it to forget about elizabeth it was pretty unfortunate for him that he literally ran into her 5 seconds later lol

HIS LACK OF SOCIAL SKILLS NEVER CEASE TO AMUSE ME

"are your parents well?" "yes" *1min later* "and your parents? are they well? and your sisters?" and ofc lizzy laughs at him

ok what i still don't understand is how when darcy returns suddenly he's all smooth and talkative and keeps the conversation well and alive and just what?? he went from 0 to 100 real quick in terms of social skills and i Do Not Understand

omg the next day when him and bingley and georgiana go the inn to meet her and bingley starts talking to her and he's so HAPPY AND EXCITED and i love how he goes "yes we haven't seen each other since we danced at netherfield on the 26th of november". boy's been counting the days since he last saw jane and i love it. he's so in love

on that note of so in love, the way the scene immediately switches to show us darcy staring at elizabeth while she plays the piano with full-on HEART EYES ahhh i'm so soft for them

and then that BITCH caroline goes and mentions wickham and darcy panics because his sister is right there elizabeth IMMEDIATELY sees and knows and goes back to georgiana to help her and changes the subject

i really think darcy fell even more in love with her when he saw how well her and his sister got along, and how much she cared for georgiana, because he probably could never love anyone who didn't seeing how important georgiana is to him

and then it just shows elizabeth and darcy staring at each other like this 💘💖💗💖💕💗💖💘💖💘 total heart eyes

when caroline basically roasts him for being in love with liking elizabeth and he just snaps at her and says she's the most beautiful woman he knows GET REKT CAROLINE

omg when lizzy gets jane's letter and is really upset and he tries his best to comfort her ahh my heart

"i will never see him again" YES LIZZY YOU WILL

mrs bennet's worst case scenarios... convinced mr bennet's going to fight wickham and wickham will kill him lmao

you know I WONDER where lizzy gets her dramatic airs from

when mr collins shows up and is all basically throwing shade at them and lizzy is just like ok then if we're so bad how about you leave so you don't have to be around us for any longer

like yes lizzy drag him!!!!

when they show us lydia and wickham in london and you can see wickham starting to get pissed off at lydia... looking like he's regretting all his life choices

which he should, btw. he made terrible life choices and they’re literally all his fault

when everything is (sort of) resolved and mrs bennet is like i knew everything would turn out well in the end! yeah SURE you did

when lydia and wickham come back and you can tell lizzy is so ready to fight

when lydia spoils that it was darcy who helped them and lizzy is like mr darcy?? did you just say mr darcy????

oh yeah also darcy taking all the blame for all that happened and insisting to pay for everything... i love one (1) wholesome responsible man

jk i love two (2) wholesome men because bingley

mr bingley and mr darcy came back to netherfield!!!!!!!!!

when they go to longbourn and darcy and lizzy just stare at each other the whole time. again

when darcy finally tells bingley he purposefully kept him and jane apart and admits that it was completely wrong of him. GROWTH

bingley still asks for darcy's blessing & darcy tells him he shouldn't need it & bingley replies that he would still rather have it. WE STAN A WHOLESOME & SUPPORTIVE MALE FRIENDSHIP

and then bingley just sprints to longbourn to propose to jane when most of them have barely woken up lmao

the scene when they're all sitting in the drawing room and mrs bennet is trying to get them to leave so it's just bingley and jane is so AWKWARD and funny lmao

"mama, why did you just wink at me??" "why would i wink at you kitty"

"actually now you mention it i need to talk to you about something UPSTAIRS!"

and then jane is happy :) finally :) jane deserves ALL the happiness :)

when lady catherine randomly shows up and just starts insulting their poverty lmao

while lizzy, kitty, and mrs bennet just stand there awkwardly

"your hall is too small" "so you call this a drawing room" "your west facing windows must be awful in the summer" ok boomer

and then proceeds to lose her shit at elizabeth while elizabeth just stands there

"he is a gentleman and i am a gentleman's daughter. we are equals" YOU TELL HER ELIZABETH

and then tells her she doesn't owe her anything which is just 19th century equivalent of go fuck yourself bitch

that whole scene was a big fuck you lady catherine de bourgh

and is probably one of the most iconic scenes in the show

when mr bennet calls up lizzy about how he's heard rumours that she's to be engaged to darcy and just finds it so funny and lizzy is just there like hahahahaha yeah that would be hilarious wouldn't it when she's probably just dying inside because darcy!!!! love of her life!!!!

no offense but the part when they go for a walk and confess their love to one another among other things is literally one of my favourite things ever

apart maybe from the piano heart eyes scene

it's just so soft

when he says he hates himself for the things he said the first time he proposed and can't believe that was thing

and that he's eternally grateful to her because he doesn't think he would ever have changed if it hadn't been for her

on that note, gotta appreciate the fact that this isn't one of those stories where girl meets guy who's a dick, girl proceeds to change dick guy into a nice guy. no, lizzy did not change him herself, and she literally refused to be around him for as long as he was rude and selfish and everything she stood against. he himself decided to change, yes because of her, because he loved her and wanted her to love him back, but ultimately he did all the necessary changes to his character by himself. and only then, only then did lizzy properly start loving him. so yeah, here's more proof of why pride & prejudice is one of the best and one of my favourite love stories :)

oh yeah also, about how darcy wanted her to love him back ; “one word from you will silence me forever” yes he was openly grateful to her for everything BUT he was also 100% ready to shut up and leave her alone and accept it if she said no again. because he is A GOOD WHOLESOME MAN WHO RESPECTS WOMEN AND KNOWS THAT NO MEANS NO YES I'M LOOKING AT YOU MR COLLINS GET ON DARCY'S LEVEL

anyway yes i love mr darcy A LOT

but seriously i have such high standards for men and for any future relationships i may be in because of p&p and mr darcy specifically lmao

anyway going back yes i love that scene it is precious

they're so in love and the way they look at each other is so soft and ugh i love them so much

"dearest, loveliest elizabeth"

my heart :,)

i can't believe they're not even holding hands in that scene

and then when mr bennet finds out he proposed to him and he's like bitch what the fuck because darcy??? this guy??? seriously???

as was jane, by the way

anyway wedding time!!!!!

"join this man, and this woman... and this man, and this woman"

we love a double wedding of the two best and most wholesome couples

lmao caroline and georgiana's faces at the wedding. fuck you too :)

when they walk out and they're so happy!!!!!! their smiles!!!!! aaaaahsjskssjajanj

for real colin firth's big smile in that scene is just,, precious,,

and then they kissed :)

ngl, one of the things i wish would have been included in the miniseries is the epilogue from the book... i loved it it was so happy and wholesome

anyway i love this book and this story and the 1995 miniseries and i need to reread the book

oh and also, the music in the miniseries is really good!! the theme song is literally perfect i love it so much

so yeah i love pride & prejudice :,) thank you jane austen for giving us this beautiful beautiful story

💖💖💖💘💘💘💗💗💗💕💕💕

[alexhandersenx]

There’s no one to save me

Ivar/Reader (Modern AU)

A/N: Hi everyone! First and most important thing, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE!!💕🎉🎂 @flowers-in-your-hayr I want to wish you all the best on this day, I hope you enjoy this day as much as possible and hope this can make it a bit better! This year may not have been our best birthdays but next year we’ll celebrate them twice! You know I really admire your work but much more as a person! Thank you for always being so so nice, you’re great!💖

Second, here it is, me and my shitty writing. This is the first time I ever write anything (you’ll see) but a lovely little bird came and told me about this amazing surprise (@maggiescarborough​ 💖) and I couldn’t refuse. This is the moodboard I chose bc when I asked Gabi about it, I wrote more of a mini fic than a request (sorry about that, honey😅) so I thought it’ll be easier since I already have an idea.

And finally, to say that this can be considered as the first chapter of a small fic???, Idk,  if you want to read something else, I will continue it and if not, it can stay as a imagine. (Any feedback you want to give is always welcomed and will help me in the future!)

Okay that’s all, I think. Now I'll shut my mouth and let you guys read in peace😊

All credits to this amazing moodboard for the birthday girl @flowers-in-your-hayr​

Words: 3.9k

Warnings: First time writing (biggest warning), mention of death and suicide, cursing, drug dealing, a bit of angst, English not being my mother tongue. (I’m not sure if something else😅).

There you were, (Y/N) (Y/LN), facing the most important case you had encountered in your professional career, which, to tell the truth, was not very long. You were 24 years old and you were a policewoman at the local police station on a small island called Samsø, which together with some others as Læsø, Anholt and Sjælland were known as the 'Kattegat Islands'.

You started there when you were 22, with a lot of effort and after years of dedication, yes, it may sound like a joke, since you were very young, but since your father passed away, you decided to follow in his footsteps. He had become chief of police and worked in what was now your office. His death occurred unexpectedly, one day he went to work and didn't come back, your mother and you didn't know anything, but he had been working on a drug-related case for a long time, and they didn't clarify anything for you after his death either, justifying that it was a case of high danger and a secret file.

When your father died, you were given the belongings he was carrying on the day of his death. You didn't find anything out of the ordinary, just his watch, which had his initials on it, the car keys and his wallet, in which he carried the usual: some money, credit cards and a picture of  your mother and you as a child. From one of the compartments of the wallet, a small fragment of a photo was sticking out. It was very enlarged, only a small part of the face could be seen, it looked like a man, but his face didn't sound familiar to you and besides the fragment was very damaged, so you didn't give it much importance. Although you were intrigued to know the reason for that fragment in your father's wallet and you wanted to know the identity of that person, unfortunately you couldn't do anything about it. You put the items back in the bag and kept it in a drawer that you knew you wouldn't open often since it was with the rest of his belongings.

After this incident, you and your mother faced a difficult time when living at home without him was almost impossible. After a not very long period, you were able to return to your daily life and continued, but however, your mother did not get back on her feet, she went into a great depression. You tried psychologists at first and slowly it looked like she was getting better, but it seems she only did it to fall into an even bigger black hole.

From then on, you contacted a psychiatrist, after a year watching your mother was consumed with sadness you couldn't stand it any longer, even though she was resistant to taking medication you couldn't do anything else. She had been going to the psychiatrist for some time and the truth was that it wasn't going as you expected, your mother had a very negative attitude. She tried to avoid medication when you didn't force her, and for that reason none of the treatments worked.

You were desperate, time was passing, and you didn't know what to do anymore, until one day when you came home and you found your mother breathing very lightly and not responding to any kind of stimulus. She had decided to take her own life with a bottle of pills, yes, how ironic. When she was taken to the hospital, the doctors told you that her vital signs were very bad, the intake of medication had to be over six hours ago, and this had already affected a large part of the system. It was very difficult for her to survive, so much so that she couldn't.

21 years, just 21 years when you were left alone in the world, when everyone was getting drunk and having a hangover and throwing up the next morning, you were there struggling to get where you were today.

Although you couldn't have reached that point without the unconditional support of your father's great friend, Officer Heahmund. He had been like a second father to you, the only one you could lean on when these events occurred. Both he and his wife Anne and their little twins always had a place for you.

You could say you'd been investigating the case for a year and it was huge, really huge. Both you and your colleagues had reached an impasse, you couldn't get anything new, so you decided to take the reins and make a proposal... raid the shelter where the organization was hiding. You had managed, after a long time of tracking them down, to find out that every Thursday at 11.30 p.m. they went out to do business. If you calculated it perfectly, you could set up an ambush, surround the perimeter with your agents strategically, and force your way in, so you could examine the interior for clear, incriminating evidence and wait for them to come back and finally catch them and finish the damn case. From that point on, the game would begin.

Ivar Lothbrook, or also known as Ivar the Boneless, was the person you were chasing. Known to be the leader of the organization. Information about him was quite scarce, the son of a bitch knew how to remain anonymous, you didn't even know what he looked like. Although he also took part in the weekly excursions, he never got out of the vehicle they were in and you didn't dare get close enough to the shelter to see them leave, just as a precaution, so as not to spoil the case. All you knew was that the nickname he had earned was due to a disease he suffered from that made him unable to walk, Osteogenesis Imperfecta.

But you did know something else about his brothers, who were in charge of leading the band when they were doing field work and his brother Ivar was not there. There were three more brothers, the elder Ubbe, the second Hvitserk and the last Sigurd. You had pictures of them, which you had studied to a tee, and they didn't have any kind of background, something that caught your attention because in all these bands it's something common, but it seems that they were playing clean.

Tomorrow would be the big day and you had no margin for error. You decided to leave it at that, not think about it anymore. You opened a bottle of wine and ordered dinner at your favourite restaurant. You were going to enjoy that night quietly before going into action.

That night you practically didn't rest, your head didn't stop thinking and you were fighting against it for a long time, until finally you were victorious, being able to sleep. You promised yourself that it wouldn't be the only thing you would be victorious in.

The sound of the alarm woke you up, it was very early, although there were still hours to go, you had to be ready and needed to do certain things before preparing. You had arranged to meet at 8pm at the police station, you would go over the plan and wait until 10.30pm to put the plan into action. The day went away, you had gone out to buy some things that you needed, you had done some sport to clear your mind and you had taken a bath for an hour and a half which helped to relax each of your muscles that had been in constant tension for several days.

You got out of the shower, you started to fix yourself and for a moment you looked in the mirror, from bottom to top, and you looked into your eyes, you saw your father, you saw him in you.

- “Ivar, Ivar, what little freedom you have left” - You said in a defiant voice as you kept looking at yourself and feeling sure that everything would go as you planned.

What you didn't consider at the time is that in a game you don't always win, and even less when you don't know your opponent.

A phone call took you out of your thoughts, you hesitated for a few seconds before reacting, you went into the kitchen and picked up the phone:

- “Hi, (Y/N) here”.

- “Hello, sweetheart, how are you?” Your boss asked with some concern in his voice.

-  “I'm doing good, getting ready to leave soon. Anything happened?”

-  “No, nothing, I just wanted to remind you, that you still have time to stop this, I can send another partner, I don't want you to do this out of obligation” - said Heahmund, with some hesitation.

- “Heahmund, we've talked about this a million times, I'm gonna take care of it. We've gone over the plan every day; we've looked at alternatives in case the first option doesn't work out and you have an expert in infiltrating other people's homes in charge of the plan... What can go wrong? Trust me, before you can tell, we're in your backyard drinking beers with Anne and the girls, celebrating together as a family, while Ivar the Boneless is rotting in jail” - You said with certainty

- “Ever since you were a little girl I've always admired that about you: Determined, brave and a fighter, which has always made you achieve everything you set out to do - he answered with a broken voice” - I just wanted to wish you the best of luck in the world now that no one is around. See you in a bit, Agent 007.

As he spoke you noticed some concern in his voice, was Heahmund afraid of the mission?... Impossible, he was known for his courage and dedication but in this situation,  you could not avoid that this insecurity that you did not feel for a long time will hit you again.

Since the death of your father you had changed, you had become steel, as you said, you had no heart for anyone, you had focused so much on getting ahead and getting what you had in mind that you had forgotten one very important thing, being a teenager. And now that time was gone.

Still, you burst out laughing when he called you Agent 007

- “Thank you, Jack Bauer” - you said, playing along, referring to those movies and action shows you loved to watch together when you were younger.

You hung up and then felt a sense of emptiness and… fear? No, you weren't going to let that happen. You certainly knew that you had to occupy your mind at that moment, or you would go crazy. So, you connected your phone to the speaker and put on your favourite playlist and time passed with you getting ready until it was time to leave. You took the bike keys, a beautiful Harley-Davidson and got going.

When you arrived at the police station your colleagues and Heahmund were already there, you went over the plan and waited for the exact time to start.

It was 11:15, the game had begun. You were about to head for the first stop on your mission. The aim in this phase was to park in the surroundings of the main highway, where Ivar and his people had to go through, so you could check that everything was in order, and that the usual Thursday trip would take place. You arrived before time, it was night and the highway was slightly illuminated by distant lanterns. The place had been carefully chosen as there were certain points where you could wait in stealth.

As time passed, you became more and more nervous and couldn't help it. There was something in your head that wouldn't let you concentrate. Heahmund noticed it and said:

-  “What's going on in that little head, (Y/N)?” - He said in a sweet tone.

-  “Hmm...nothing, I'm fine” - you whispered as you looked for his glance and smiled.

-  “Come on, (Y/N), I know you too well to know that something is bothering you”

- “Ugh, I hate you Heahmund… what if they don't come, if for whatever reason today doesn't happen” - you said losing your nerve a little

-  “Hey, hey, hey and this? Where's my little fighter? They're going to do it, you'll see, and before dawn they'll all be behind bars”

- “How can you be so sure?”

- “I just know” - he said with confidence and came up to you kissing you on the head

You needed it, you needed someone telling you that everything would be fine, with your 24 years you were tired of playing grown-up, strong and lonely. You had always needed that love, but that side of you was known only by Heahmund and he had always been there to give it to you.

You did not have much more time to get melancholy, it was happening, Ivar and his people could be seen from afar. They were organized in three black armoured cars and four motorcycles guarding the sides. You saw how they passed before you, in a heartbeat everything you had feared had happened, the only part of the plan that did not fall on you had worked. Now everything depended on you. You waited a few minutes and both of you, along with several patrol cars, set off. Some of your colleagues stayed in the place so that they could control when they returned and thus warn those of you who were going to the shelter.

Second stop on the mission, the shelter. Ivar and his people owned an apartment building where they used to stay permanently, it was on the outskirts of town, in the middle of nowhere. You had left your vehicles a few meters behind, also hidden, so as not to cause any noise. You found yourselves walking quietly in the dark with your guns in hand, towards an old building. When you reached the right distance, you appreciated the immensity of the building with enough housing to accommodate several families. The facade was neglected, yellowish-coloured, and you could see the doors of each house, white and many of them peeling and battered. Plus, right next door was what looked like a big warehouse. Everything was surrounded by metal fences.

Your companions began to take their positions as you had planned and you and Heahmund continued to approach, until you reached the side of the fence so that you could climb without attracting attention.

You looked at Heahmund and nodded just as you turned to move forward alone you noticed how he grabbed your arm, your heart racing as he said:

- “I'll keep an eye on everything that happens, the moment I hear something out of the ordinary, even if you don't say the code word, we'll get in and get you out”

- “Damn, Heahmund, you scared me... yes, I know, don't worry” - you said losing your patience a little

And now it was time, holding your SIG Sauer firmly in your hands and checking for the last time that the microphone you were holding in the middle of your bra was properly placed, you were ready to move forward. You approached the front door of the warehouse. If there was anything interesting to look for, it would be there. You pulled the lock pick out of your pocket and picked the lock easily. You opened the door a couple of inches, at that moment your heart felt like it was going to come out of its socket. You checked that the light inside was off, you continued to open it completely and you went inside quietly. It was all dark, you stood still for a few seconds to pay attention to all the sound around you. You could only hear the “tick tock” of a clock. You looked at the wall for a light switch, found it and turned it on. Several fluorescent lights illuminated the big warehouse, some of them failing and blinking making the place even more scary. For a few seconds the light blinded you because of the contrast of the dark night to which your eyes had been used so far. You took a quick look, ducked your head and whispered into the microphone:

- “Clear”

You raised your head and for the first time you stopped to look around. It was immense, the walls were covered with high shelves where there were pots of all kinds, some were full and some were empty, there were boxes, masks, safety goggles, gloves and all kinds of chemical devices. There was a long table on the side with many chairs, some lying on the floor, others on top of the table... that place reminded you of a typical high school lab from which the most you could do was decant a mixture. You were surprised... they were cooking drugs there... "Well, what a dump" you said to yourself; you thought everything would be much more careful and not such a messy place as that.

And in the middle of all that mess, at the end of the room you found a big wooden desk and a big black leather armchair behind it, it seemed that that little space didn't belong in the room, it was all tidy and on the table the only thing that was there was some papers, small pictures and office material. You approached and saw some maps with certain points marked... What were these points? You thought that it could be some meeting place or points of sale, you took out the PDA and uploaded the photo to the police station network.

- ��I think I found something, I just uploaded it to the network” -You said in a whisper

You didn't have any answers, nor did you notice much of it, since you got caught up in a huge painting right behind the desk. In it appeared a beautiful young woman with long blonde hair. It was just a painting, but you could feel the elegance of that woman in it. Next to her was a taller man who looked slightly older, shaven and with a long beard with white locks. He was in a suit and showed a great presence just like the woman. But there was something that caught your attention, the look of him, his intense blue eyes seemed to pierce you as if you were seeing them in person. The wrinkles at the corner of his eyes betrayed his maturity. You stared for a while, curious, until you came back to reality, took a quick look again to see if anything could be useful, but nothing. So, you retraced your steps and headed for the door. You tried to communicate with your colleagues again:

- “Guys, nothing else around here, I'm going back to my starting position” - You whispered again.

And at that moment you froze, you were listening to yourself double and your "double" was coming right out the door. Time stopped for you, you didn't understand anything, and the only thing you could think of was to hide behind the door. This one opened little by little and you started to listen how people came in... one, two, three... you were counting the steps to be able to calculate the number of people, you lost the count to the fifth since such a quantity would be impossible to face and come out victorious.

- “SHHHH, shut up... do you hear it?” - said a male voice you didn't recognize.

What you could hear was your breathing shaking through a walkie... at that moment the world fell apart. A police walkie in the hands of those assholes, something hadn't gone right, and you didn't know what.

- “Yeah, it smells weird too, doesn't it?” - said another male voice, but this one sounded much more ironic.

- “I don't know Ivar I don't smell anything... what do you smell?” - Said a third voice, the closest so far to your position.

- “Mmm I don't know it's a disgusting smell, something like... police”

At that very moment they closed the door, leaving you exposed. You saw five men, but you didn't have time for much else as the one closest to you, that you came to recognize was Ubbe, grabbed your arm and made a quick movement blocking it, causing your gun to fall to the ground. He drew you to his body by placing your back to him and holding your neck with his arm, doing a lock around it to immobilize you. You looked ahead, saw a young man slowly approaching you and examining you from bottom to top until your eyes connected, deep blue and intimidating gaze. To tell the truth, he was a very attractive guy, but that idea was automatically erased when you remembered who he was. Something stirred in your stomach, you didn't know if it was fear, hate or a mixture. Slowly a cynical smile appeared in his mouth. Definitely, it was disgust what you had noticed in your stomach seconds ago. You could have tried to get out of that grip, but you didn't see the point, they were five men over six feet. It was impossible, to get out of there. Ubbe kept pressing his arm against your neck, causing your senses to slowly fade away.

- “Well, well, and I thought this wasn't going to be fun" said the boy in front of you in a hesitant voice. - Nice to meet you, I am Ivar Lothbrook - he said extending his hand

That was the last thing you could see and hear before you lost total control over your body and thus your senses.

The game had started... like a shitty one.  

[mousehole5000]

wow i made this draft on november 1st i really took a break from this huh anyway tgcf chapters 121 - 142

i realize now this coffin scene was inevitable. feel kinda weird about hua cheng  back and forth from Teen to Big Man but it is very funny that theyre having their “dude dont look at my boner” moment while in the jaws of a water dragon

pei ming: why didnt you guys make a bigger coffin so you didnt have to squish together like that? xie lian: haha yep!! anyways what brings you here?

“In the grand, spacious centre of the entrance hall sat a person. And this person, dressed in all black, its face snow-white—was a corpse! Instantly Xie Lian shut the doors soundly.” - king of minding his own business.

okay this is where i stopped putting notes here for a while but i did save some in my e-reader so here’s some of the highlights

“Guzi used to have a good sleeping form, but perhaps with his cheap dad’s bad influence, now he was also spread out on top of Qi Rong’s stomach like a dead fish. Lang Ying himself was curled neatly in the corner, and was covered by a few shirts. Xie Lian lifted the blanket covering Qi Rong, suppressed the urge to smother his face, and covered the two small children.” - xie lian funny moments. also it would be really funny if qi rong redeems himself by learning love through these misfit chiildren and it might actually endear me to him but i hope that doesnt happen

Every heavenly official was yelling, and even Ling Wen was throwing a fit. “DON’T THROW EVERY BIT OF USELESS INFORMATION MY WAY, HOW MUCH DO YOU THINK I HAVE TO GO THROUGH EVERY DAY? DON’T YOU ALL KNOW TO USE YOUR BRAINS A LITTLE BEFORE ASKING ME?!” - ling wen marry me right now

“An expression like “seen a ghost” that only mortals experienced was now showing on his face for the first time. Shi Wudu’s pupils shrank to the smallest they could, and he blurted, “You’re still alive?!” “I’m dead!” He Xuan said coldly.” - okay everythings going tits up rn but i did laugh

i did see spoilers re: ming yi/he xuan reveal + shi wudu’s fate beforehand so i dont have a genuine reaction other than oh shit

“He slowly enunciated each word. “I won’t touch your fate. But, here in this place, chop off your brother’s head for me.”  CLANG! He threw a rusty blade onto the ground. Shi Qingxuan stared at that blade, his eyes wide. He Xuan continued, “Then, never show yourself before me again, and I will pretend you’ve never existed in this world.” - okay idk what else is going to happen but rn im concerned that this is like the 2nd biggest ship. i guess we’ll see?? i mean i am really curious whats going to happen to them. shi qingxuan keeps calling he xuan “ming-xiong” and i... sad

shi wudu im not really invested in you as a character but these next two bits... interesting

“If I don’t die but have nothing, then that’s truly a fate worse than death. If I’m not the Water God, I can’t take care of you. I won’t even be able to protect myself. I’m scared that we won’t even last two days…TAKE IT!” - damn. something about the wealthy losing everything and not knowing how to live without it bc thats their entire life and identity

“EVERYTHING I HAVE TODAY, I FOUGHT FOR MYSELF. I WILL FIGHT FOR WHAT I DON’T HAVE. I WILL CHANGE FATE I DON’T POSSESS. MY FATE IS UP TO ME AND NOT THE HEAVENS!” - okay so the whole committing spiritual fraud by tormenting a man and his family to get your brother a cushy title thing aside this was kind of badass. heretical? possibly. but still. also is he intentionally riling up he xuan so sqx doesnt have to kill him? if so damn...

also okay as long as im here im just gonna say it. the choice that he xuan gives shi qingxuan is fucking brutal but i actually think its probably as fair as it could be. sqx didnt know about or participate in what happened to hx but they did benefit from it greatly while hx lost EVERYTHING and i can understand he xuan’s thinking of “if you really feel bad for what happened to me then you have to make a sacrifice and understand the suffering and this is as clean as its going to get” and theres a bit where sqx is trying to beg for mercy but cant get the words out which im guessing is bc theres no good argument!! what happened was fucked up!!

“When Pei Ming saw that reinforcements had arrived, he didn’t appear particularly delighted; instead he threw the sword into the ground, then rubbed his nose and said, sounding grim, “You all just had to come just as I finished making these, what the heck.” - pei ming making coffins chopping down trees with his sword i love it #wastehistime2k17

“Xie Lian brought that basket of eggs along, and gave them away as souvenirs from the mortal realm. Many who received the eggs were overjoyed; some deciding to eat it along with their own blood, and some proclaiming they would hatch an eight-foot monster.” - GHOST CITY GHOST CITY

“Placing the brush down, he blew lightly at the ink and smiled. “If I like something, then my heart will not have room for any other, and I’ll always treasure it. A thousand times, a million times, no matter how many years, this will not change. This poem is the same." - thats nice and all but king... get therapy. i actually have further thoughts but tbh i dont want to put them into words bc they are simply too personal! moving on

didnt take any notes but somewhere in here was the bit with mount tong’lu opening and hua cheng losing it and kind of um. hm. that scene. thats another trope i really hate tbh i dont care for it as a way of including physical intimacy between characters and idk if it really ever adds anything but whatever moving on

The Half-Maquillage Woman - kind of interesting monster idea bc women and aging…. yeah. however i think this would be a lot stronger if there were a) more girls and this was b) discussed or illustrated at all prior to this moment. still interesting that its included knowing the author is a woman tho and there’s been comments on how ling wen is perceived vs pei ming. this book does keep giving me hope for interesting female character arcs i really want it to deliver something

quan yizhen..... i get u

lmao i have a note on a bit with lang ying that says “please dont be hc in disguise” and..... my clown nose was on but at least i knew that. for real this is bothering me how much he’s just. always. there. i know he’s a lead but we didn’t really need him around for a lot of this. oh well.  okay now to my current notes

“Yet it was precisely because it wasn’t cooked that it had to be eaten quickly. Once Xie Lian cooked it, it wouldn’t be edible anymore” - fucking fantastic

“Xie Lian hugged his belly. “Of course! Only after having met you did I rediscover that it’s such a simple thing to be happy, hahaha…” Hearing this, Hua Cheng blinked. Xie Lian’s laughter quieted a bit, realizing what he just said was a little too revealing.” - okay i know i said what i said about being tired of hua cheng being everywhere but... the line…. the fact that theyre laughing together…. :pleading:

“It’s not,” Ling Wen said. “At least, I believe, there will definitely not be another in history who can create a dish called ‘Incorruptible Chastity Meatballs’” - and truer words were never spoken

“I, DO NOT WORSHIP GODS. “I, AM GOD!” - this was every bit as badass as i hoped but no one told me it was immediately followed up by a little bit of the ol dinner theater fjalkdsfjsd. also puqi shrine noooooooooo

“Xie Lian sighed as he thought, “Qi Rong has taken Guzi away, who knows if the poor child was eaten or abandoned. Wind Master...... ..... who knows if Black Water took him away. Pray they’re both safe.” yeah hey are we going to fucknig. find out what happened to the child???

and yeah i dooooont really care for the age regression? thing thats going on. i just dont like that trope tbh. but tiny hua cheng whipping out his fat ghost king wallet in the store was funny tho. it is really funny that hualian are just like wandering around some random towns while the heavens are in an uproar. i guess theres not much else to do but its funny

“Me too, me too. You all know of my shixiong, right? Talented, with an infinite future! He only had one small vice: he loved playing women. Decades ago, a little prostitute ghost seduced my shixiong and sucked him dry into human jerky, and that Hua, Hua, Hua, that ghost king dared shelter her.” - yes omg give me the forbidden hua cheng lore i love this for him for real it goes along nicely with xie lian’s principles about giving another cup. god i love shared values

“Hua Cheng poked again, and a small hole appeared on the wall, as if the wall was made of tofu.” - how’d he do that. why is this a ghost king power. its useful tho

*me shaking qi rong when he pops up* WHERE IS THE CHILD

mu qing fu yao is here okay im happy now. once again no one has a good grasp on their secret identity and i love that. this inn has descended into chaos and im delighted and im glad lan chang is back

“The good ol’ kitchen was suddenly squished and crowded, loud and noisy. Fu Yao was chasing that fetus spirit leaping up and down, Lan Chang was chasing after Fu Yao like she had gone mad. Half of Qi Rong’s face changed shape by the way Xie Lian was pressing him down on the chopping board, his back turning into a target for those yellow talismans Fu Yao hurled while being observed by a crowd, and Lan Chang would step on him from time to time.” - this is pure chaos. i love that mu qing was in that room when the mob checked and he didnt say a word didnt open the door just sent out a talisman as a warning. king your disguise is transparent

“Xie Lian remembered the way Feng Xin laughed until he was hoarse when he first heard that verbal password all those years back, and couldn’t help but feel nostalgic, even though it wasn’t the right time.” - awwwww omg im emotional about this... faithful friend feng xin laughing at xie lian’s stupid joke password and remembering it!!! ;_;

“They have, but they’re not effective,” Feng Xin said. “Usually they’re the most diligent in scorning the Palace of Ling Wen, like they could do the job way better if they had the position. Now that we need them to take up the task, not a single one can do even half of what she does.” - typical... typical typical typical

also emotional about the fact that feng xin contacted xie lian at all.....

also!! emotional about lan chang as a mom and wanting to help out sick lil guzi.....

xie lian forcing “fu yao” to let him help “his general” is making me.... what is friendship if not playing along with your buddies little shenanigans while also making them accept your help

“Someone like Mu Qing, even though he’s narrow-minded, petty, sensitive and skeptical, has a bad personality, constantly guessing, doesn’t say nice things, likes to nag, always offending people and has a lot of people who dislike him, has no friends, can remember small, unimportant details for a long period of time…” ”Xie Lian went on in one breath with a straight face, but in the end he concluded with, “...But I’ve known him since we were kids, after all, he’s still got principles.” - XIE LIAN PLEASE AFJDLKSFJDL omg ive seen this quote before but i figured he was talking to someone else not actually to mu qing himself fgjasdkfjsl. god thats amazing. hey im gonna help you out because i care but i will roast you first <3

waaaaaait so is lan chang aka jian lan that girl from book 2 we took a page to talk about and then disappeared? that has to be it why else would we have stopped to discuss her

“Jian Lan spat on his face, then choking his neck, she slapped him twice again. “WHAT SHITTY SUPREME! YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO BLOW YOURSELF UP! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, THINK YOU’RE EVEN WORTH TO BE THOUGHT OF AS EQUALS WITH THE OTHER THREE SUPREMES? WHAT ARE YOU EVEN GOOD AT? YOUR THICK SKIN? OF COURSE I DARE HIT YOU!” - oh this feels so good i cant lie. YES GET HIM!! CHOMPING AND VIOLENCE YES!!!!

okay this description of cuocuo.... im... that sure the hell is a creature

this book is so entertaining bc i already saw spoilers for the feng xin/jian lan/cuo cuo reveal and yet i could never have predicted the circumstances that brought it about. imagine being feng xin. the heavens are in an uproar and your only friend/enemy has been jailed for possible fetus spirit-related crimes but he escapes along with this female ghost who keeps causing problems. you figure “fuck it lets see if dianxia kept his old phone number” and he has but then he hangs up on you. you’ve got fuckall else to do so you go find him. mu qing is there but he’s in his disguise the two of you were using so you could watch over his highness while staying aloof. you think you see hua cheng only he’s a chiild for some goddamn reason but who knows at this point. the female ghost is also there and theres a fetus spirit climbing trees and biting your arrows in half. you realize the female ghost is your ex and the little demon is your son. it bites you. what do you do

amazing that despite everything going on everyone is still playing along with the “fu yao” persona when it would probably be easier to drop pretenses at this point. then again tbh if i could explain my actions to my friends while pretending to be a third party.... i probably would so.. carry on

“With all his devotees gone, only Feng Xin still treated him like the Flower-Crowned Martial God and His Highness the Crown Prince. ” “...his protection charms were all seen as trash. However, Feng Xin was still determined and tireless in handing them out; telling Xie Lian, look, you still have devotees.” “After all, he was the darling of the heavens since birth, high and mighty. Feng Xin so naturally spun around him like he was the world, so how could he possibly have his own life, his own heart” “Whether or not that fetus spirit was Feng Xin’s son, if it was that period of poverty that made Feng Xin lose the girl he loved, Xie Lian wouldn’t be able to forgive himself no matter what." ohhhh my god this relationship i. im...

oh my god i still have 30 more chapters until book 4............ its naptime now i think

[fire-fira]

Nonbinary Awareness Week Day 4: Visibility For The Invisible

What are my identities besides nonbinary?:

Mixed-race Native-- Cherokee and Lenape on my bio-mom’s side, Oglala Lakota on my bio-dad’s side, and Irish, Scottish, Norse, Egyptian, and German.

Neurodivergent-- allistic hyperlexic and dysgeographic

Abuse survivor

Currently 34 (born in ‘86)

Aro/ace

How do my other identities intersect with my nonbinarity?:

In terms of my gender, part of how I understand it is through my racial identity. I can’t really separate it out, especially not when knowing that my Native ancestors had space for people like me and realizing that is part of what helped me feel safer in being open about who I am.

There’s also the fact that my personal style in terms of how I present myself is a careful balance between trying to be read accurately as my gender (difficult as that is) while also trying to be read as ‘not white’ as possible. Yes I’m mixed, yes I’m white-passing, but I don’t like being assumed to be ‘just white’ because it makes me feel like who I am is getting bleached from me so others can find me more ‘palatable’. It makes my skin crawl. (And considering my hell-beast bio-mother pretty much tried all my life to make me as not Native as possible, the idea makes me feel sick.)

A big part of me knowing who and what I am as early as I did (age 4) is thanks to the fact that I’m hyperlexic and that part of how my hyperlexia was expressed back then was through logic and an understanding of ‘If I do x, then y will happen’ (over everything from the possibility of death by getting hit by a car if I stepped into a street too soon, to abstract concepts like the idea that I’d be locked in an asylum and never let out if I told anyone I wasn’t a girl or a boy-- this is the kind of crap I thought about even when I was 4). I was way too damn smart for my own good as a little kid, but it served me well in that I was able to figure out what I was not long after my memories first started up (my 4th birthday, it was like I hadn’t existed before and then someone threw a switch and just-- BOOM-- instant awareness and no memory of anything before and no recognition of where I was, it was weird AF), and knowing what I was that early on gave me the sort of stability I needed to know that if I existed then others had to.

I was going to say that my dysgeographica hasn’t impacted my gender, but thinking about it I can think of one way it did. Since it’s so easy for me to get lost and turned around, I learned early on how to let go and trust that I’d either find my way or that someone I was with would be able to get me to where I was going. In a way, that kind of took some of the stress off of trying to find an answer for what my gender was as a kid.

As for being an abuse survivor... OOF. There are a lot of awful things I lived through (primarily emotional/mental abuse and neglect-- I’ll spare everyone details because it’s heavy as hell) but the worst of it did give me some perspective. Me hiding who I am was miserable as hell, and while being nonbinary can be nerve-wracking in some crowds, being able to look back on my personal hell and the fact that I survived gives me a confidence I don’t think I’d have otherwise. Nothing that life can throw at me will ever be as bad as that. People can be as hostile and ridiculous as they want, but they can never make me be closeted about being nonbinary again.

Yay being 34. (Tbh I used to think-- probably because of the abuse-- I wouldn’t live to see 30. But guess what? I’M STILL ALIVE AND KICKING AND I DON’T PLAN ON GOING ANYWHERE FOR A LONG DAMN TIME. HA-FREAKING-HA.) For most of my life there were no terms for my gender and as a kid I didn’t dare say what I was. To my knowledge (before I found out otherwise later) I was the only nonbinary person I knew and didn’t meet another enby until I was 25. (At least one of the people I was friends with back in high school has turned out to be an enby, but I don’t think they came out until their late 20s.) The ‘90s sucked for having any examples of anyone nonbinary-- both in real life and in fiction. I gravitated toward fiction and clung to whatever characters I found that resonated with me. The one advantage that being so isolated has given me is that it helped me stay in spaces where I felt out of place in circumstances where a lot of other people would have just left, so I was able to get what I needed or do what I needed to.

For a long time-- up until my early-to-mid-20s in fact-- I didn’t realize that my aro/ace-ness and nonbinary-ness weren’t a package deal. (Which is kind of funny in a ‘wtf, where is the logic?’ way because my aro/ace-ness was never an issue for me. I have an uncle on my bio-dad’s side who’s ace and might be aro but idk, so my aro/ace-ness was always brushed off by my family as being ‘genetic’ and therefore not something to be concerned about, but I was absolutely convinced that if anyone knew I was nonbinary then bad things would happen. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ) Because I was so isolated for most of my life, I was under the mistaken assumption that they were all kind of tied together. Thank gods for education. So as a result for a long time how I understood my gender also hinged on my orientation (and dear gods, I know using that word makes me sound old af, but it’s less wordy than to get into the whole tangled mess of how sexual and romantic attraction aren’t the same thing and don’t always ‘line up’ for people, yada yada yada). These days I see all three parts as distinct and vaguely interlinked in my case, but no one part of my nonbinary/aro/ace-ness would magically stop existing if one of the other parts changed.

Why do I think my specific experience is less visible than other experiences?:

Let me put it this way: the line-up of being a hyperlexic and dysgeographic aro/ace mixed-race Native abuse-survivor isn’t exactly a common experience. There aren’t many people who have issues of being de-legitimized on the fronts of their gender, their racial identity, their sexuality and romantic orientation, and their neurodivergency all at once. Or having those things pinging off each other used as a way to call into question their mental faculties.

Even as specific as my identity is, because of how liminal my identities are and my past history of abuse I have to remind myself that I can take up space in areas that apply to me. I am so used to being on the edge of accepted existence, even despite the fact that it’s been 14 years since I was taken out of my personal hell, that I have to occasionally remind myself that I’m not taking attention away from those who need to be heard when I’m one of those people.

There are times I haven’t spoken because I’m in an aro/ace space, or a nonbinary space, or an indigenous space, and what I have going on at a given time involves one of the other aspects of my identity. And thing is, if you won’t ever speak up then you won’t ever be heard or seen. That’s something I’m working on, and this entry for Nonbinary Awareness Week is just one step in that.

What’s something about my experience I would like other people to know?:

You don’t always have to have the answers.

It’s okay to sit back and trust that things will happen as they need to happen if something gets to be too much. You’ll figure yourself out more easily if you let yourself just have things come to you as they will.

It hurts sometimes and that sucks, but things can’t improve if you don’t put yourself out there when you’re ready to. The people who matter most will accept you and love you for who you are, not what they think you are.

Multiple seemingly contradictory things can be true about you all at once, and that’s okay.

It’s okay to stand your ground and be honest about who you are.

Even if you feel isolated and closed off, disadvantaged and backed into a corner, educating yourself and doing the work to decolonize your mind and dismantle internalized prejudices will help immensely.

If you think you’re the only one-- in whatever way-- I guarantee you that you’re not. You just have to give yourself time, make the effort to learn, and allow yourself the opportunity to meet others.

---

[Day 1]

[Day 2]

[Day 3]

[laughingpinecone]

Yuletide letter

I am laughingpineapple on AO3  

Hello dear author! I hope you’ll have fun with our match. Feel free to draw from general or fandom-specific likes, past letters, and/or follow your heart.

Likes: worldbuilding, slice of life (especially if the event the fic focuses on is made up but canon-specific), missing moments, 5+1 and similar formats, bonding and emotional support/intimacy, physical intimacy, lingering touches, loyalty, casefic, surrealism, magical realism, established relationships, future fic (when in doubt, tell me what’s happening to them five, ten, twenty years in the future!), hurt/comfort, throwing characters into non-canon environments, banter, functional relationships between dysfunctional individuals, unexplained mysteries, bittersweet moods, journal/epistolary fic, dreams and memories and identities, tropey plots that are already close enough to characters/canon, outsider POV, UST, resolved UST, exploring the ~deep lore, leaning on the uniqueness of the canon setting/mood, found families, characters reuniting after a long and/or harrowing time, friends-to-lovers, road trips, maps, mutual pining, cuddling, wintry moods, the feeling of flannel and other fabrics, ridiculous concepts played entirely straight, sensory details, places being haunted, people being haunted, the mystery of the woods, small hopes in bleak worlds, electricity, places that don’t quite add up, mismatched memories, caves and deep places, distant city lights at night, emphasis on non-human traits of non-human characters (gen-wise, but also a hearty yes xeno for applicable ships), emphasis on inhuman traits of characters who were human once and have sort of shed it all behind

Cool with: any tense, any pov, any rating, plotty, not plotty, IF, unrequested characters popping up.

DNW: non-canonical rape, non-canonical children, focus on children, unrequested ships (background established canon couples are okay, mentions of parents are okay!), canon retellings, consent issues, actual covid (fantasy plagues are okay)

Les Cités Obscures: any

This is a very general “please, anything in the style of canon, just maybe with less thoughtless sexism” request. I want to lose myself in these cities again, and in the strange lands that connect them. I’d be happy to follow any of the known characters and/or OCs, or eschew characters altogether and write about the cities themselves. What caught your imagination in Brüsel, Xhystos, Taxandria, Alaxis...? The history of some cool building that was only marginally featured in one of the stories? Or an OC city! If you’ve got a favourite European city that doesn’t already have its obscure counterpart, please tell me all about it! Go big, go wild! What strange and classically surrealist happenings take place within its walls? Or even... outside Europe... Nerding out about architecture is of course very welcome. I would also love to read a story based on any Schuiten illustration, contextualizing it as if it were part of this ‘verse. Here’s a bunch of them, for example!

Ghost Trick: Cabanela

You know.. him. Dazzlingly OTT, untiring, rock-solid self-esteem, loyal to a fault, following a rhythm of his own, flawless intuition until it fails and it all burns down… him. I just want to see more of him doing stuff! The way he’s chill and open toward new people (like Sissel and Missile in ch15) makes him perfect to throw at most other characters and see how they react to the sparkles… I’d love some focus on how ridiculous his aesthetic is, half Saturday Night Fever half hardboiled detective half bubbly preteen (for a total of 150%) and yet he makes it work. Or how ruthless he can be, possibly for the sake of the people he cares for. The quote “The intimacy of big parties”. Him and Alma in the new timeline bonding over knowing (once Jowd has spilled the beans) but not remembering that terrible timeline. Some tropey scenario on the job. Snark-offs with Pigeon Man, by which I mean PM snarks and it bounces off him like water off a spotless white goose’s back.

Ship-wise it’s only Cabanela/Jowd whenever it’s not infidelity, Cabanela/Alma in what-ifs also if it’s not infidelity and Cabanela/Alma/Jowd for me (and Lynne/Memry and Yomiel/fianSissel on the side). There are a bunch of shippy prompts in all my past letters - I would however reiterate here that Jowd. is. the worst tease. always. Like, just saying, but assume he’s pining big time and Jowd and Alma figure it out - they’d make a national sport out of excruciatingly protracted teasing.

Conversely, Cabanela/Lynne and Cabanela/Yomiel are NOTPs especially from Cabanela’s side. So while I appreciate the thick tension of a good Yomiel VS Cabanela confrontation like everyone and their cat, and also really appreciate a roughed-up Cabanela, and I do love Yomiel in his own right… I don’t want Cabanela being into it. Adrenaline junkie he may be but this hurts and his coat’s a mess and there’s no perfect winning scenario so he hates every second of it. (JOWD being super into Cabanela being roughed up is another matter altogether and he should probably mind his own business. ...incompatible kinks, truly tragic. they’ll have to find some other common ground. they’re smart, resourceful, playful fellows, I’m sure they’ll manage)

Kentucky Route Zero: Donald kentuckyroutezero

I love everyone in the cast, all acts and interludes, and I am extremely into all the themes this incredible work of art ended up exploring. Agreeing with the overall doom and gloom up to Act IV, I was blown away by Act V’s strong affirmation of the importance of the arts and of the bonds we make and of carving up spaces for ourselves in capitalism’s wake. Donald was, indeed, not a part of any of that. Even the final interlude updates us on Lula and mentions Joseph, but the big guy is nowhere to be seen. So, you know, there’s fanfiction! He’s so static, defeated. I am fascinated by the chain of metaphysical spaces that goes surface -> Zero -> Echo -> Dogwood and even within that framework, the hall of the mountain king is like a hopeless dead end. Dude’s terminally stuck. So - once again, in the spirit of transformative works, how could he get... you know... unstuck? Did Lula’s momentous appearance in Act III shake him? Having a functioning Xanadu again, perhaps? How could he interrogate that oracle, what recursive wonders would it show him? If he decides to leave, what does it feel to be on the surface again after so long, or on the river perhaps? Maybe he is forced to leave by the flood, if not this one, the next... Having him meet any other character would be amazing. Past or future time spent with Weaver... seeing Conway again, changed... programmer guy chatting up musician androids... did he know Carrington from his college days or was Carrington only a friend of Lula’s?

As for Lula herself and Joseph too: “Flipping through the pages, Conway is able to gather that it’s a story about three characters: Joseph, Donald, and Lula. It’s something like a tragic love triangle, but much more complex. Some kind of tangled, painfully concave love polygon.” 😔 I ship them as a full triad, if you can nudge them in that direction, good. But I’m very open to non-romantic resolutions as well, going past their messy feelings to find each other as friends after so many years maybe. Or... a start. idk.

I’d be interested in fic that leans on the game’s adjacent genres: wanna go full-on American Gothic? Dip into surrealism? Take a leaf from Twin Peaks with tulpa / split narratives to explore the characters’ issues? I’m also open to AUs, real or through Xanadu. This also feels like a good place to stress that I really, really like caves.

And now for something completely different: FAQ:  The “Snake Fight” Portion of Your Thesis Defense is in the tagset this year. I’d say that the crossover with the snake portion of Here and there along the Echo writes itself, but it would not be correct, as in fact I would like you to write it for me. Feel free to not feature Donald if you focus on this crossover instead!

Uru would be a fun crossover too, for Donald specifically. He’s very DRC-shaped in how he tilts at doomed projects which just so happen to be deep underground.

Pyre: Volfred Sandalwood

This is a Volfred solo, Volfred&literally anyone or Volfred/Tariq, /Oralech or /Tariq/Oralech request. I adore everyone in that Blackwagon+Dalbert+Celeste, so if you want to add a Nightwing or two to any prompt, please do! I also love all the Scribes and find Erisa a compelling tragic figure, while out of the other triumvirates, I’m “love to hate them” for Manley, Brighton, Udmildhe and Deluge and would not like to see them featured in sympathetic roles. fwiw I also enjoy Jodi/Celeste and Bertrude/Pamitha a lot!

I feel deeply for all of Pyre’s main themes - literacy, degrees of freedom, the fragile time that is the end of a historical cycle, nobodies rising up to the occasion, building a better society, and of course found family, “distance cannot separate our spirits” and all that jazz, and Volfred is squarely rooted at the center of all of them. I really really love everything he stands for, even if he’s overbearingly smug in standing for it. Just please tell me things about my fave. His relationship to the Scribes (as a historian, a some kind of vision, via *ae or once he’s a star himself)? A ‘forced vacay’ Downside ending where he looks at the Union from afar and keeps living in this strange transformational place? Life in a cramped Blackwagon that was meant for like 5 people tops and is currently eight Nightwings, a herald and an orb? Since he picked him for the job to begin with, does he respect and cherish Hedwyn as he dang well should? What does it feel like to try and Read a herald? Was he ever in danger, in the Commonwealth or in the Downside? What daring act of resistance did he and Bertrude pull off at some point in their past? It’d be cool if one of his old pamphlets came up at some point. Does he puff up as prime minister because he’s nervous, and who can see past his hyper-professionalism and lend a hand? Please roast him big time about the votes he assigns to the various Nightwings in his planner? What’s his attitude toward the flame’s purification (what with being a tree but mostly like, as a general concept. He did nothing wrong!) (well he definitely said some things wrong and sometimes oftentimes the ego jumps out, but his intentions did nothing wrong)? When did his calculating approach fail him? Something with Pamitha along the lines of that edit that goes “Can we talk, one ten to another?“/"I am an eleven, my girl, but continue”? Dude could easily be voted sexiest voice in the Downside - how much is he aware of it? Does he sing? I love how he bears his ‘reader’ brand proudly. And speaking of scars, I have to wonder, looking at Manley for comparison, if the shape of his head, with that massive crack, isn’t also due to injuries.

As a refrain from my general likes: emphatically yes xeno to both shippy interactions at all ratings and to gen explorations of what a Sap is like… I’d love to read all your headcanons.

Ship-wise, I enjoy him with Tariq as this kind of esoteric connection of minds, guarded words full of secret meanings, long contemplative walks together (is any external pov watching...?), Volfred’s Reader powers brushing against Tariq’s mind and getting weak in the knees at the starlit expanse he finds there, so unlike mortal thoughts. Tariq finds his individuality learning from him; Volfred presumably gets a transcendent glimpse of the Scribes. And I enjoy him with Oralech as pretty much the opposite of that, Oralech is so very mortal compared to him, such a precious, fleeting, burning life especially after his fall. Oralech’s idealism is very dear to me, it was their plan, their shared revolutionary spirit, I find it deeply moving. And I am very interested in seeing them rebuild their connection now that Oralech is back, changed, and in some ways he can learn to let go of his misconceptions and slowly open himself to Volfred’s love again, but in other ways that’s who he is now, with this deep-set anger, and what does it even feel to realize that you’re the symbol of the end of an era (the end of the Rites, the fading of the Scribes). I’m interested in both topside and downside endings for all of them, as long as they end up on the same side, the revolution was peaceful and they don’t angst too much about the side they ended in. Tariq can ‘find his way home’ in the near post-canon somehow or even be summoned again, as a different aspect of the same ‘moonlit vision’ that once inspired Soliam Murr.

Strandbeest: any

https://www.strandbeest.com/

I would just like words to go with these, please and thank you so very much. Worldbuild to your heart’s content! Specifically: I’m fascinated by the premise that the strandbeest are living creatures that evolve and adapt to their ecosystem. A world where life is just wind stomachs and sandy joints, and the tide that can catch you unaware. I would like a story that feels distinctly inorganic. The wonder that is the existence of these creatures. Their unique struggles. Weird and experimental if you like. With a mechanical focus, maybe?

I nominated four critters as a selection of the different cool things they can do - Percipiere Excelsus is huge and has the hammer mechanism, Suspendisse’s tail senses the hardness of the sand, Uminami is my fave caterpillar and the caterpillars overall feel like a new paradigm after a mass extinction event, Ader straight-up flies... but they’re all wonderful. If you want to focus on different strandbeest, please do!

Twin Peaks: Lucy Moran

Case fic but they don’t find out jack shit, someone disappears, David Bowie was there, it’s complicated. Fragmented, shifted, mirrored identities. New Lodge spaces. The risks of staring into the void for too long. Gentle illusions. Transcendence. The moon. Static buzzing. Any title from the s3 ethereal whooshing compilation used as a prompt, actually. Whatever goes on on Blue Pine mountain or the even more mysterious things that go on on White Tail mountain where exactly zero canon locations are found. Twin Peaks is all about the mystery to me, the awe of mystery and unknowability and the human drive to look beyond and the risks of getting a peek, and about shared consciousness and trauma taking physical form in an uncaring world. Go wild with the ethereal whooshing! But I also love the human warmth at the heart of it all, and sometimes it’s enough to anchor these characters and let them have a nice day. A fic entirely focused on some instance of coziness against the cold chaotic background of canon would be great too.

For Lucy specifically, a big draw for me is how canon (...s2 need not apply) empathizes with her way of processing the world. Not just Peaks, but On the Air’s protag who is basically a Lucy expy also gets the narrative completely on her side and that’s great. And I love how in s3, her focus on the small things around her is always echoed by bigger, climactic events beyond her horizon (bunnies / Jack Rabbit’s palace, chair order / Garland’s chair, her first scene talking about the two sheriffs / doubles everywhere...). It feels to me like some kind of off-kilter mindfulness and I love it. She’s also got a loving husband and an amazing son, which, in this economy and also this canon? Damn. The one functional family, imagine that. I am not interested in focus on family dynamics, but singularly, either Lucy/Andy or Lucy&Wally are great - in particular, I’m interested in how strange they are and yet they make it work. With the ruthless critique of traditional family structure that’s all over canon, maybe they make it work specifically because they’re not doing any of that. A bit like the Addams family... but... not goth...? Anyway. I’d love to see Lucy interact with and maybe strike a friendship with any character she’s never shared a scene with in canon! In the tagset, there’s Diane for some secretaries bonding, Audrey because??? why not?, Albert because it’d be an epic enemies to friends slowburn, some version of Laura in the future, if we’re feeling really daring maybe even some version of Coop in the future, still fragmented... or anyone you want! Outside the tagset I’d be curious about Hawk, Margaret and maybe Doris in particular, I think, and Phil, and Nadine and the Invitation to Love fandom in general (Frost says it still airs - did it get as weird as TP s3 did?), but if you have an idea with someone else, absolutely go for it!

Canon-specific DNWs: any singular Dreamer being the ‘source’ of canon, BOB (let alone Judy) being forever defeated in the finale, Judy being an active malevolent presence in the characters’ lives, clear explanations for canonical ambiguities, ‘Odessaverse’ being the reality layer, the Fireman’s House by the Sea being the White Lodge, whatever Twin Perfect’s on about, Cooper/Audrey, Cooper/Laura

[kinkymagnus]

Thanks for validating my love for clean shaven Magnus! Most seem to like the goatee look more. Also from a trans Magnus perspective, I kind of headcanon that Magnus keeps the goatee for a more masculine look after getting together with Alec. Like, to "compensate" and for other angsty reasons (Alec is gay and Magnus thinks he isn't "a man enough" for him or something like that).

ldfkjg any time, it’s nice to hear im not the only one lgkhjfgh

yeah like?? don’t get me wrong, i love magnus with the goatee, he looks amazing, but i prefer clean shaven magnus lowkey?? he just looks so good lkgjfgh

and ohhh!!!! that fits into so many of my other headcanons. i can def see that, like magnus has really conflicted feelings on it. on one hand, he feels more masculine with it, which is kind of nice, but on the other hand, he’s more comfortable with a shaven face? like normally he wouldn’t mind stubble sometimes, but he tended to keep it pretty closely shaven. but. but. alec is gay, and magnus is........... well, he feels like he really needs to be as masculine as possible for alec. he has to compensate, he has to dress more masculine and wear darker colors and wear less makeup and yes, grow out his facial hair. 

and he all these conflicting feelings about it, too, because he’s forcing himself to present as more masculine in an effort to keep alec with him and comfortable, but at the same time, he feels like he should want to do this anyway, he is a man, after all, and it’s not like he necessarily... doesn’t like it, he likes his darker and more masculine outfits fine, and he still dares to add his own touches, jewelry and eyeliner and so on. so why does he wish he could still dress the way he used to, just a little bit, he’s not uncomfortable and he should be happy, and it’s for the love of his life, he’s being ridiculous. 

because even if in his more masculine outfits he didn’t feel uncomfortable, he still liked how he looked, remember how after the body swap his colors got more vibrant like he was trying to comfort himself, like he was pulling away, remember how after they got married he was painted with colors again??? when he was happy??? aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa it’s just.... he felt really good in those androgynous outfits. he liked wearing them, liked how they felt and looked. 

but he thought, well, alec was already putting up with so much, he should be. well. as masculine as he could be. alec was gay, he wanted a man, he deserved a boyfriend who was actually manly, and it’s fine.

and it’s not like this is a huge thing. it’s fine, really, of course it is. magnus isn’t uncomfortable, and he’s willing to sacrifice a little extra pleasure to be with alec. and sure it enforces some of his deepest insecurities about being too feminine and not a real man but it’s fine. 

but like. idk how this comes out but it does. im picturing he’s getting dressed, like choosing out his necklaces and looking in the mirror, alec behind him watching with loving eyes, and magnus just casually mentions that he misses wearing some of the more androgynous clothing or something before catching himself. he shuts himself up but it’s too late, he’s said it, and he hopes he’s overreacting and alec will gloss over it--and alec kisses his cheek from behind. and says mm, that’d be nice.

and magnus’s whole brain goes ??? 

and alec’s like yeah you always look really great in those outfits. why did you stop wearing those? 

magnus doesn’t really know what to say. 

alec’s like i figured it may have had something to do with valentine coming back, but i wasn’t sure, and really, that had contributed, throwing up that sharp and dangerous and powerful facade had become more important than ever in those years, but.

idk how alec coaxes it out of him, or exactly how the conversation goes, but magnus ends up admitting he wanted to be as masculine as he could for alec, alec deserved his boyfriend to actually be a boyfriend, and he already put up with so much, and he deserved better and magnus just wanted him to be happy and comfortable in their relationship and alec’s like ok what about your happiness tho? your comfort?

and magnus is like “does not compute” because he has never, ever put himself first

and alec’s like “and even so, it doesn’t apply, because you’re not less masculine for enjoying more feminine or androgynous clothing, and i don’t see you as any less of a man, for that or for your gender identity, i love you and i would love you in any outfit, and anyway you look beautiful like that, i first started falling for you when you were dressed like that, you look stunning in glamorous bright colors and sparkles and flowers and soft silky clothes, you look so beautiful with the colorful makeup and i bet you’d look stunning in lipstick or in a skirt or whatever else you might want to try, it doesn’t make me think less of you and it certainly doesn’t make me less attracted to you” and fglhkjfglkhjgkhjflgkhjgflkhj fglkhjfglkh jflgkhjfglkhjflgkhjfglkhjfglkhjgfh fglkhjhf

[underwaterwoods]

so i saw the star war

spoilers ahoy

i guess this is just gonna be random bullet points

* i actually feel pretty chill about it. yay for being spoiled. also like.... if you ignore the ridiculous stuff there’s actually a lot to have fun with in this one. i don’t know how i’ll feel about it once i’ve processed it more. i just know i had fun while watching it, which i know isn’t true for everybody. i totally understand the negativity - it all makes sense to me. i’m just glad i sort of.... FORCED myself to have enough distance to just go in like ‘i’M PrepArED fOr wHAtEveR’

*i did like all the jumping around between locations in the first half and how ben would show up everywhere rey was. what a ‘you’re everywhere i go’ pairing. /chef’s kiss/. also having the different locations gives a sense of spaciousness (even if it’s all happening over a short period of time) which i missed in tlj.

*one of the things that gave me the most joy as the hux thing ??? X’’’D it was EXACTLY like that ‘the farce awakens’ ep where hux LITERALLY JOINS THE RESISTANCE cuz he can’t stand kylo. like what kind of fanfic...... how do the hux fans out there feel? (i really love the hux fans they’re a great bunch XD). shame that he was gone right after though.

* i actually enjoyed the trio dynamic? like i get the desire to move away from ‘trio mentality’ but the rey/poe tension with finn as mediator was fun. and finn and poe as joint generals? adorable. shame that the whole finn/poe thing got a bit clouded by.... stormpilot baiting and rose erasure and all the things... Also i’m not anti any character - i like zorii - but.... let poe stay a gay icon? i guess he can still be a queer icon it’s all good i’m down for whatever.

*speaking of finn.... loved seeing more of his humour back. didn’t love that there was no unpacking of how he feels taking out stormtroopers. but loved the found family of jannah and the other ex-stormtroopers. i feel like that gave SOME resolution/depth to finn’s origins. and finn being a non force user but seemingly super attuned to the force and its ways? i can roll with that.

*more speaking of finn... i wonder what they were doing with the ‘thing he wants to tell rey that he never gets to tell rey’. seems like an obvious ‘i love you’ thing. but at the same time we got reylo (/basks in that for a second/). it feels to me like throwing a bone to the finnrey people? like they didn’t get it in this movie but it could be a thing in the future? regaurdless, i did like how finn and rey were very connected and back to that loving friendship they had in tfa. we never quite got the ‘you have a force bond with the supreme leader?!!’ conversation but we got.... SOME conversation.

* speaking of the supreme leader... kinda love that we got renperor AND ben solo TM. i prefer to view ben more holistically (he is both ‘ben’ and ‘kylo’) but i get that making them two distinct identities was a helpful shortcut of sorts. he could ‘kill’ kylo and switch to being ben in a single scene. i always prefer Soft Boi Ben but if we were gonna get Bad Boy Kylo i’m glad they established it right out the gate. it was like ok, this is what to expect; this is where we’re at with this character. 

*ben with his costume change at the end....... omg. gave me BIG smuggler!Ben vibes. urgh, give me all the AUs. ben deserves more.

*the amount of swagger when he was fighting the KOR

*idk i feel like i’m not even touching on the big stuff. this was just a ‘get all my side thoughts out of my system’ post.

*adam’s smile after the kiss though......... ...  /the most beautiful thing in this world/

*truly iconic that people were right about the strategic, covert introduction of force healing via baby yoda like one month before tros.

*oh yeah it was wILD that so much of the imagery from the trailers/tv spots etc was in like the first five mintues of the movie ??? i totally assumed the ‘i have been every voice you’ve ever heard inside your head’ moment would be climactic rather than right up front

*oh yeah the vader mask.... that didn’t really mean anything in the end then did it?

* re: ben’s death. maybe it’s because i was braced for it but in some ways it’s the best way he could have gone. he was definitely happy and reunited with the light - both through love of rey and of his family. hIGHKey could have done with ben’s force ghost also appearing at the end? the only good thing about not seeing it is.... LF deciding to retcon his death ? ??XD obs they’re not gonna but if you want a crackpot silver lining there it is.

*what exactly does rey’s future look like, may i ask?

* oh yeah, Passing The Saber Through The Force. maybe my favourite moment. the force bond as a bare concept is so romantic to me i would watch a whole trilogy just exploring the magic system of that - it’s limitations and possibilities. 

* i do like that jj developed the visual style of the bond. we got to see them occupying the same space, the way each of them would be seeing the other (’can you see my surroundings, i can’t see yours, just you’)

*i miss that rian johnson sound editing on the bond though..... god, the iNTIMACY of the tlj bond scenes....

*’i DID want to take your hand’

*also just the word choice of ‘take your hand’/ ‘i offered you my hand’. it’s extremely marriage.

*there was also a moment in the hanger when ben was like ‘we’re one’ basically? he was saying it in the context of rey’s lineage but still...............the validation. one soul. 

*palps was like ‘you live and die together’ which made me REALLY think of skytalkers podcast. obviously assumed they would both have to LIVE together but.... /deep sigh/

*blah this could go on forever i’ll add more later

edit #1:

* OH YEAH! reverse anidala was such a thing! why did it have to be SO reverse anidala though? X’D instead of taking her life, he gives her his own. (i know it’s not clear anakin totally killed padme etc etc but ya feel me)

* ok i hate that ben died obvs obvs but, taking that for what it is, it was very romeo and juliet. i kinda love just the imagery of it. like... the physical blocking/choreography of adam getting daisy into his arms, holding her, then he falls and it’s her holding him. the way she catches his neck. really reminded me of the smoothness of the bridal carry. and rey’s flexed foot in that moment of shock. love the body language. back to that kind of ‘’staccato’’ rey of tfa days.

edit #2:

*lololol @ LF trying to establish how ‘bad’ kylo is by having him kill a bunch of people in the beginning. it was just.... Hot.

edit #3:

* rose deserves better. obviously. she looked so good though. i like that she had some moments with connix too. 

* ben called han ‘dad’......

*ben standing there, overlooking the waves, with his leG EXTENDED BEFORE HIM. wanderer above a sea of fog. wanderer above a sea of foggg.

* rey having compassion for the snake thing. we been knew. kinda nice to have it in there. obviously good set up for ~later force healing shenanigans~

* OH YEAH OH YEAH. i kept thinking about atla. i know people have been making comparisons to it from the start and i’ve been DEEPLY INTO those comparisons. but it was truly a blessing for me to remember.... there is a version of this out there that you love and that is Good Content TM. legit i can just go watch atla again to heal from this. omg yeah cuz REY HEALING HIS WOUND ALSO HEALED HIS SCAR. very crystal cave.......... nah but nah but - the ‘you are every jedi’ was EXTREMELY avatar-esk..... like, engage avatar state. i don’t like how it ended up being the same old conflict between jedi and sith - ‘good’ and ‘bad’ - OBVIOUSLY THE POINT IS TO INTEGRATE THE CONFLICTING PARTS OF SELF; THE SHADOW SIDE; TO TRANSCEND OLD DICHOTOMIES - but i did love hearing all the voices from past jedi. that’s some good ‘the ancestors are with you’ shit.

edit #4:

* i think the first thing we hear rey say is ‘be with me’? ngl i was like ‘pls be invoking the force bond’ X’D i am a clown. that was a beautiful shot though. and love that a version of the bond kicked in like two seconds after that. 

edit #5:

*there’s that bit where reylo are fighting on the death star ruins and he’s winning and rey kinda falls to her knees panting and lowkey defeated and, not to be a shallow bitch but..... it was Hot.

*also dark rey......... was HOT. SHE WAS SO KIRA, WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS, AND I WAS INTO IT LIKE HNGGGG

*obvs i wanted rey to be truly no one. but casting jodie comer as rey’s mum ? ????? urgh, pefection, i love it.

*palps was so random i stg..... his plan was.... convoluted to say the least. 

*also who was under all those hoods?

*the KOR just kinda... being around again was hilarious. no explaination required. the boys are back in town. ben facing them without a mask and essentially wearing his pjs? loved it. 

edit #6:

*seriously though ben’s redemption outfit.............. /heart eyes emoji into the sunset/.......... you can see his collar bone.............. /cares about the important things/.................

edit #7:

*one thing i loved about the reylo was how Space Wizards TM they both were in this movie. it so highlights their connection by making it clear that they are each other’s only peer. i thought it would be a thing of ‘why is the supreme leader constantly interacting with/going after this girl?’ but it’s not because it’s so clear that they are the only two people on each others’ level. no one would dare question the fact that they’re constantly circling each other in a lustful murderous rage.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Grace

Janis: I'm coming back Janis: like, I'm en-route now Janis: so you can tell the parentals or whatever Grace: okay Grace: fine Janis: 👍 Janis: tah Grace: sure Grace: literally don't mention it Janis: alright Janis: forget I was even here, like Grace: ugh that means I don't wanna talk to you Grace: you can stop now Janis: Charming Janis: not asking for fanfare, or a shit banner, don't worry Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: if you don't wanna talk, you can shut the emoji keyboard and all Grace: whatever Grace: so sorry I'm busy being your PA rn Janis: how hard is it Janis: I did it in three Janis: even you can do it in under 10 Grace: I'm actually home so no, I can't Janis: well that's on you for being there and them for being annoying Grace: just leave me alone Janis: fucking hell, fine Janis: make your mind up Grace: I have & so have you Janis: what are you chatting about Grace: I called you SO MANY times Grace: until I literally couldn't cos Iggy said I had to call dad Janis: I weren't looking at my phone Janis: you know I can look after myself Grace: Duh Grace: but like you said, how hard is it, babes? Grace: like, 1 text you know Janis: Defeats the point of fucking off if you're gonna make a song and dance about it Janis: you wanna be my keeper or don't you Grace: I wanna know you're not fucking dead in a ditch Janis: You do now Grace: yeah thanks Janis: Look, I don't have to tell you my every move Janis: when do we text Grace: idk what you think I can say to that Janis: I'm just saying, you didn't need to freak out Janis: no need Grace: how dare you Janis: what Janis: I'm trying to save you the hassle it clearly is Grace: literally spare me this convo Grace: you're not this stupid Janis: Whatever then Janis: this is bollocks Grace: yeah exactly Janis: no, you Janis: don't pretend to give a fuck just 'cos mum and dad are getting on your nerves Grace: mhmm that's what this is Janis: yeah Janis: easier faking it when I ain't about Grace: I was totally crying so hard that I threw up cos I was worried about mum and dad giving me a lecture Janis: don't start Grace: I told you, leave me alone Janis: don't try and guilt trip me Janis: I'm literally on my way, can't do fuck all else Grace: don't tell me I'm pretending to care Grace: or pretend that you're coming home Janis: What's the point Grace: again idk what I'm meant to say to that Janis: Exactly Janis: I don't have to step over the threshold for it to fucking count Grace: you don't want to Grace: you literally could care less about me Janis: behave Janis: you don't wanna talk to me, we're hardly gonna hug it out Grace: like you're SO !!!! to talk to me Janis: I started this convo Grace: to get me to get mum and dad to be less extra Janis: yeah 'cos give a shit about them Janis: they're chewing your ear off, not mine Janis: so either way, I'd be doing you a favour Grace: wow Grace: thanks so much Grace: you obvs don't care about anyone but him so Janis: Oh yeah, cheers for spreading that about Grace: you've done that yourself, babes Janis: You don't know why I left, you never have, so don't be chatting shit Grace: excuse you, I haven't said anything to anyone Janis: he showed me the texts so you have Grace: that doesn't even count Grace: I didn't say anything he doesn't know Janis: clearly does to me Janis: as he's the only cunt I care about Janis: you didn't have to do that Grace: yeah well I was drunk & thought you'd gone forever Grace: sorry, okay Janis: you didn't know what you were talking about Janis: whatever, sorted now regardless Grace: duh Grace: I said he better get you back, you're back Grace: we know the boy can listen Janis: yeah, he just did it 'cos he's well scared of you Grace: I didn't threaten him, I'm not you Janis: ehh Janis: debatable Grace: oh please Janis: weren't exactly miss sweetness and light but alright Grace: he didn't deserve me at my sweetest or lightest thank you Janis: I told you, you got it wrong Janis: it weren't like that at all so Grace: she got it wrong, not me Janis: yeah Janis: he didn't fuck her though Grace: obvs! why would he? Grace: she knows nothing about camera angles and that's literally what she was there for, she probably gets her sex position tips from Cosmo Janis: probably Janis: clearly got community service for stalking anyway Grace: someone totally attacked her for whoring all over their man & then it was a whole thing™ Grace: like nobody wants to hook up with you if you're that tragic & so white you're basically see through, sorry about it Janis: Fair, Asia gets through 'em pretty well Janis: don't be catty, like Grace: cos she doesn't get her sex tips from Cosmo like a grandma duh Grace: & anyway he's like totally into you, boys aren't totally into Asia Grace: not the ones she picks Janis: hadn't escaped my notice Janis: cries as much as you Grace: RUDE Grace: I wouldn't cry over a boy that cringe Janis: 👌 Janis: least you have something in common Grace: OMG don't even Janis: you're mates, you're meant to Janis: or would you rather be like blondie and Mia Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: that's not how you mean it Grace: I'm not THAT stupid, hun Janis: didn't say you were Grace: copy & paste it from literally any other convo from the last decade Grace: whatever Janis: you're well paranoid Janis: so, she got a new one yet or what Grace: idk I've been totally preoccupied wondering if you were still alive Janis: 👎 boring Grace: stop doing it to me then Janis: it's as much about you as it is him Grace: it doesn't have to be about me to effect me Janis: soz Janis: why would I help you, yeah Grace: if you ever did it'd be an event Grace: & I'm not dressed for one so Grace: 🤷 Janis: 🙄🙄 Janis: it ain't gonna happen so don't plan an outfit on my behalf Grace: 💔 obvs but I won't Janis: Good stuff Grace: 👌👌 bye Janis: you gonna say sorry Grace: no Janis: 💔 rude Janis: shouldn't call people names, Gracie Grace: you shouldn't run away from your problems, babes Grace: but like here we are Janis: What's your plan, going well? Grace: Why would I EVER tell you anything I'm thinking? Janis: Yeah, have to be thinking something first Janis: I get it Grace: sure Janis: 👋 then Asia Grace: don't Janis: 😏 Grace: I have no energy to be upset any more Grace: so just stop Janis: Then try a smile Janis: there's nothing to be upset about Grace: not for you Grace: & what are you an old man on a bus? telling people to smile is so gross Janis: It's old Janis: you're bored, we all are Janis: switch it up Grace: go away Janis: stop being boring Grace: literally what do you care Grace: annoy your boyfriend Janis: who knows Janis: might stick around if you weren't Grace: that's not funny Janis: it is though Grace: you really scared me Janis: stop worrying about me, jesus Grace: Oh my god, do you think I wouldn't just stop if that was a thing I could do?! Janis: it is Janis: ask me how much I think about you Janis: you don't need to, you told me, I don't Grace: again, I'm not you Janis: try harder Grace: I hate you Janis: 👍 Janis: there we go Grace: next time I hope you don't come back Janis: 🤞 eh Grace: yeah Janis: be back for dinner then Janis: get da to make my favourite Grace: he'd have to know what it is first Janis: yeah Janis: pretty shit ain't he Janis: sad times Grace: like I said, my energy's dipped too low for this Janis: best go lick a stamp Janis: perk you right up, Ells Grace: that's not a comparison anyone's making Grace: but thanks anyway Janis: should be Grace: maybe but mistaken identity never Janis: no shit Janis: no one's mistaking you for kate moss either but you understand what I meant Grace: totally Janis: thank fuck Grace: any more shade you wanna throw or can I go? Janis: huh? Grace: like can that be it now or? Janis: I don't give a fuck, babe Grace: cool Grace: such a fun catch up Janis: not at all Janis: go back to crying and vomming though Janis: sounds like a blast Grace: obvs Janis: oh, and don't ever try and stick up for me again, also obvs Grace: 👌👌 Janis: state Grace: I won't speak to him again, it's fine Janis: good Grace: 💜 Janis: ugh Janis: fuck off Grace: [does]