#but it's hard man I wanna get people cool things

[cjlouwho]

I Like the Taste of Vanilla

Start from the beginning on ao3, or read today's entry below.

Day 4: My Heart is Racing in a Weird Way

Tommy wasn't sure what was happening as Buck led him through the bar. Eyes lingered on them as they passed by each table until they reached a door that read Employees Only.

“Evan, what are we doing?” Tommy asked, scooting in closer to his boyfriend as people passed behind him.

“Hang on, you'll see.”

Buck knocked on the door and waited, glancing back at Tommy with a nervous smile.

“Did you get a job here?” Tommy asked. “Babe, are you hurting for money? I can-”

Buck pulled Tommy to his side and patted his chest. “Tommy, relax. Let's just... just wait.”

After waiting a few more seconds, the door opened just a crack. A man wearing far too much glitter, in Tommy's opinion, peered out. “Password.”

Buck grinned. “Paradise.”

The man eyed them both, then opened the door and let them inside, leading them down a hall.

“No touching unless given permission, although looking is highly recommended,” the man began to recite like he was giving a college tour, “use condoms, clean up your mess. No kink shaming. Sharing is caring.” He opened a door at the end of the hallway and moved to the side to let them through. “Have fun, newbies.”

“Ev- Evan, what are-”

“I do have a couple rules,” Buck interrupted, moving so he was directly in front of Tommy. “I really don't want anyone else touching you, and I don't want them touching me either.”

“Well, thank God for that,” Tommy mumbled, barely audible over the music and the moans. He cleared his throat, speaking a bit louder. “I don't want that either.”

Buck nodded. “Okay... Okay, good. I guess, um, we should f- find a spot then, right?”

“Um, oh, sorry,” Tommy moved as far into Buck's space as he could as a man in head to toe leather walked behind him with another man following him on a leash. “I, Evan, I don't know if there's any space here.”

“Sure there is!” Buck replied with a nervous laugh. “We don't take up that much space. Come on.”

They continued through the room, and Tommy couldn't help but feel far too overdressed in his blue jeans and black henley. He was sweaty, a bit panicky, and- “Is that... is his whole arm in there?” He froze, eyes wide at the sight of it.

Buck leaned in close to Tommy's ear. “No kink shaming,” he muttered.

“I'm not shaming, I'm impressed... and having some sympathy pains,” he added with a grimace. “Damn, he's going hard. I hope that man has good health insurance.”

Buck tugged at his arm, moving them along. “What about back here? Not too crowded. We c-”

He was cut off by the sound of a whip cracking nearby, followed by a yelp and a moan.

“Oh, Evan, my-” Tommy brought a hand up to his chest, flinching as the whip struck down again, “my heart is racing in a weird way.”

Alarmed, Buck held onto Tommy's arm, looking around until he found an exit. Making his way through the maze of bodies, Buck led them out of the building.

Tommy took the opportunity to take in a deep breath, the cool evening air hitting his face. “Sorry,” he said, leaning against the brick wall, “I know you wanted to do... whatever in there, it's just- that's not really for me.”

Buck's eyebrows furrowed. “Tommy, I don't care about any of that stuff. I thought it's what you wanted.”

“Hmm? Evan, why would I want that?”

“The movie!” Buck exclaimed, as though that explained everything.

“The movie? What movie?”

Buck groaned. “The movie we saw a couple weeks ago. They had a scene in the back of a seedy bar where all kinds of kinky shit was happening. You popped a boner in the theater!”

“That's because Cheyenne Jackson did full frontal and I'm human!”

Buck put his hands on his hips. “S- So it didn't have anything to do with the, uh, the chains or the, um, the other stuff?”

“God, no,” Tommy replied with a shake of the head. “I mean, sometimes things can be hot in theory, but it doesn't mean I wanna do it. This, however,” he said, pointing back toward the bar, “scared me more than war.”

Buck laughed, rolling his eyes. “I highly doubt that.”

Tommy held his arms open, waving Buck toward him. Without hesitation, Buck wrapped himself up in Tommy's arms. “Okay, maybe it didn't scare me more than war,” Tommy admitted, pressing a kiss to Buck's temple, “but it did leave me with some phantom pains. Did you see how hard that fist was-”

“I saw, I saw,” Buck interrupted with a shiver. “I know I always say I want to feel you the next day, but I'm not sure I'd want you rearranging my organs like that.”

Tommy laughed, tapping at Buck's side until he leaned back enough for them to look at one another. “You spent the last two weeks researching this place, didn't you?”

“It was the only one with five stars,” Buck whined. “And I wanted to go somewhere that I knew no one would just start touching you, or me.”

“I will say that, in the forty-five seconds we were in there, they were all very respectful,” Tommy admitted. “I just don't think I'm the fuck-you-in-a-room-full-of-people type. I also hated how they were all looking at you like they wanted to eat you.”

“Oh, please!” Buck huffed. “They were looking at you like that, not- not me. I was so close to jabbing some eyes out.”

“I disagree. Not about jabbing eyes, but about where the eyes were focused.”

“Agree to disagree.”

They were silent for a moment. Tommy looked off to the side, lips pursed.

“What is it?” Buck asked.

“Can we just talk about the fact that the place cannot be sanitary? I know they say to clean up after yourself, but God, Evan, there's no way-”

“I know, I know,” Buck soothed, running his hand over Tommy's chest. “I thought about that too.”

Tommy eyed Buck briefly before reaching up and cupping his face, pulling him in for a gentle kiss. “Can you do me a favor?” he asked, his thumbs stroking Buck's cheek.

“What?”

“Next time you think there's a kink I wanna try out... ask me.”

“You mean you haven't loved my surprises?” Buck joked.

“Oh, they're great,” Tommy answered sarcastically. “I am afraid the next one might actually kill me though.”

With a smile, Buck took hold of Tommy's hands and pulled him away from the wall. “Ready to go home?”

“Hell yeah. Can we get in bed and do none of the things I just witnessed in there?”

Buck cocked his head to the side. “You mean you don't wanna shove your arm so deep inside me you could pull out my heart?”

Tommy shivered. “Evan,” he whined, “I'd almost forgotten about it.”

“Honey, there are some things the mind will never forget,” Buck replied as they reached the truck. “That was absolutely one of them.”

[leconcombrerit]

I'm so fucking broke that there's no way I can buy Christmas and birthday gifts for my family so I'm making clay figurines and I dare say my little Nikola Tesla is, although far from perfect, quite dashing.

[exopelagic]

i said i wouldn’t do it this time but it’s 3am and mods asleep. boy

[neverendingford]

.

[steddiebrainrotramble]

“My platonic soulmate, light of my life; say what you just said again.” Robin gasped, looking at Steve in a mix of confusion and awe. He shook his head, not understanding what she was on about.

“What? I just said was everyone finds people attractive despite gender. So I think a lot of men are hot and would date them if I wasn’t straight. It’s the same with you right?” Steve asked, running a hand through his hair. He didn’t understand her confusion, this was how everyone worked.

Robin put a fist to her mouth, looking like she was trying to hold a laugh. “No, babe. I don’t find men remotely attractive and I would never want to date one. Because I am a lesbian.”

“Well yes because you like girls! Just like I do. I don’t get the confusion here Robs.” He huffed, leaning back on the couch.

They had been having their weekly movie night and bitch fest when Steve had mentioned wanting to date one of the lead guys. He had then lamented how if only he was gay he could.

“So wait, don’t you think you might be gay if you wanna date a guy? Because I promise straight men do not want to date guys.” Robin pointed out, trying to understand.

“Because Robin, you know this! I like girls, boobies!! That makes me straight.” He nudged her, like she just wasn’t connecting the dots.

Robin sat up straighter to look at her best friend. She forgot sometimes with how cool he was with her that this is all new to him. “Steve, have you ever heard of bisexuality? It means you like both men and woman and people that don’t identify as either.” She asked quietly, putting her hand on top of his. He looked at her, eyes wide.

“That’s an actual thing?? Wait I’m not straight then? Not everyone feels like this?” Steve’s brain was racing with all the new possibilities and how silly he had been. Robin shook her head.

“Wait. Holy shit. Robin, I wanna date Eddie. I want to date him so hard, I wanna kiss him. And marry him! Fuck wait that’s not legal. But all the other stuff.” He stood straight up, almost bowling Robin off the couch.

“I’ve gotta go! I got to tell him I’m not straight!” He yelled, grabbing his keys and running out the door. Robin sighed, getting comfy on his couch and drinking the rest of the wine in her glass. Leave it to him to speed run his sexuality crisis and get a partner before her. At least she could stop listening to Eddie whine over being in love with a straight man.

[neostellarjpg]

inner mono-dialogue

the more time i spend being davepeta with you the more i realize almost every single problem in my life was caused by my obsession with being this unfeeling cool dude

but youre cool already

like in the way that actually matters

youre chill and friendly and just nice and thats all there is to it

youre shamelessly yourself even if everybody around you is a jackass and gives you shit for it

youre similar to jade and john in that way

i really envied that about them

but its different actually being at the control panel and feeling where that earnesty comes from

it makes me wanna match your energy and keep that pawsitivity ball rolling even if it ends up being weird or cringe or whatever

fuck man do you know how exhausting it is building yourself social hoops to leap through all the time and when you trip up even once its suddenly the end of the world

what kinda dumbass does that its like dealing with life in hard mode for no reward

fuck that noise

i like your way better

Nepeta's heart burns and shines inside you.

:33 < thank you :))

:33 < but you know

:33 < i dont think doing things your way is unrewarding

:33 < its like

:33 < a shield!

Dave scrunches up with discomfort.

X33 < i dont mean that in an insulting way!

:33 < the fact is that shields are just purractical sometimes

:33 < it doesnt make you cowardly to hide behind one

:33 < in the same way that it isnt cowardly for a predator to hide in the bushes when stalking prey

:33 < its just a way to make sure you dont get hurt!

:33 < purrsonally i found shields too cumbersome

X33 < im a hunter after all!

:33 < and i guess maybe the same goes for my personality

:33 < its not really that im purrticularly brave for being myself

:33 < i just didnt have a say in the matter in the furst place!

:33 < honestly if i had a choice i would have loved to be more like you dave

:33 < you can befriend people almost effortlessly

:33 < and its beclaws youre also just a nice person

Dave recoils in surprise, but Nepeta passionately pushes forward.

:33 < fur real! i f33l it inside you! theres a really strong sense of empathy there

:33 < its just like mine! just smarter, and a bit more analytical

:33 < whenever we encounter someone mew, its like i f33l you lock onto them, and you gather so many insights into their purrsonality without even trying

:33 < and you can use that to bond with others without giving every part of you away

:33 < which unfortunately

:(( < i never really knew how to do

Nepeta sours with unpleasant feelings. Your brows scrunch together with both pain and sympathy.

Nepeta has a big and complex heart. She tried her best to keep it from spilling over, but it always did in the end. And it was embarrassing. It was embarrassing when your friends dismissed your hobbies or focused in on your strange quirks. It was embarrassing when they revealed they knew about your crush on Karkat that you'd worked so hard to hide. And it hurt whenever he would say mean things about you. He and anyone else.

But you always puffed out your chest and sucked it up. You stuck to your guns no matter what. Because it was fun! The things you liked, the people you liked, were fun, and they made you feel good. Why couldn't anyone else see that? And why did it seem like they never gave a single thought to who you were?

You curl in on yourself. Your chest hurts. You suddenly really miss Equius.

And you miss Rose. You miss Jade. You miss John and Karkat and Aradia and Tavros and Terezi and all the others. You miss all the people you can go outside and see whenever you wish, and you miss all the people that you have no hope of ever seeing again. You feel the choral echo of all the times you've ever felt this need for comfort, this thrumming pain searing hot inside you, like hunger wracking your stomach.

You clench your teeth. You remember being on your bed, curled in blankets, not having eaten a proper meal in days. You remember holding your stomach and sneaking to the kitchen, turning your shoulder at every step to look fearfully behind you, only for your fingers to falter hopelessly on the handle of the refrigerator, knowing there was nothing for you inside.

You shake with anger. You know that feeling. The feeling of being chased by something much bigger than you, a hulking silhouette of menacing strength following your scent through the thicket. You'd clutched a beast carcass to your chest, barely breathing as you stalked clumsily through the trees, performance wavering from exhaustion and hunger.

You'd almost died. You'd almost died often. And then after escaping death so many times, it one day claimed you. Casually. Unflinchingly. And the world beat on without you, leaving you stunned by your own insignificance. You'd looked out onto every preceding moment of your life, wondering if there was anything to truly be proud of in the face of your friends accomplishing all these fantastical things. You'd felt lonely before, but after that, you were truly walled off from every single person you knew.

And now, despite everything, you're alive again. Twofold, together with someone.

A warmth coats the ache inside your body. The two parts of you swirl together, feeling and tasting each other, trying to understand themselves.

It feels like a hug.

[thatonegayship]

I had to

Wait, does the cheating thing on the bond always works? bcs that would be kinda freaky for R!Dipper like imagine you get pinned down by someone in the corner of a br or smthng and then said person kissed you and proceeded to explode into red mist and you literally have no idea what happened.

Also, would the constellation mark be a "cursed" Mark over the years, like you would give birth to a baby and the doctor says "😟 I am so sorry ma'am,,, I'm afraid your baby has the Cipher Companion mark. ( could also be something equally as science-y like Ursa Major, Constellation Calamation, etc idk)" And you just burst into tears.

Would that mean that dipper would get into a special program(demon wrangling program or smthng, demonologist? Maybe)? Or would the parents hide it away hoping that Bill would never take their child away?

(Sorry this au is just very interesting to me,,,, I hope u get more motivation, keep writing author 💪)

These are all options! The fun part of reincarnation AU being left ambiguous is that technically any of them could happen.

[joyful-soul-collector]

I've seen a lot of people talking about how Barbie talks about how the patriarchy affects women and how well it does that, so I wanna talk about how Barbie talks about how the patriarchy affects men and how well it does that. Because it does that really well tbh.

At the beginning of the movie, it's made very clear that the Kens are constantly competing with each other, and trying to prove their worth, their Ken-ness, to both the Barbies, and more importantly, to the other Kens. In fact, multiple times through the movie it's shown that Ken seems to find the opinions of other Kens as a motivator for him to do things. He tries to show off to Barbie only after he sees the other Kens saying hi to her. He only starts dancing with Barbie when he sees the other Kens dancing with her. He only goes with her to the Real World after another Ken accuses him of cowardice and he decides to prove him wrong. Barbie says "Ken's not cool!" and Ken responds "He is to me."

This shows so damn well what the patriarchy is like for men. Because for the Kens it's not necessarily about Barbie, it's about what other Kens think of you. Being a man you are constantly, incessantly trying so damn hard to prove to the other men around you that you are a man, the manliest man to ever man, the best Ken to ever Ken. Literally doing backflips trying to prove yourself. And this is before patriarchy is even officially introduced to the story, there's no undertone of power yet, this is just what it's like to be a man around other men. It's toxic masculinity.

And when the patriarchy is introduced, that's increased tenfold. At first it looks like they've banded together to take power, but really they're still competing with each other, they're just doing it differently. Rather than competing to see who can get Barbie to fall in love with them, they're competing to see who can be the manliest, have the manliest stuff, wear the manliest clothes, have the manliest house and decorations.

And then they literally go to war. War is considered one of the few places where it's socially accepted for men to be more emotional, form deep and personal bonds with other men, and that's exactly what happens in the movie. They go to war, and there's an entire song where they bond and learn not to fight with each other anymore.

And that I think is the message from the Kens. For men, the way the patriarchy affects them is it forces constant competition and animosity, even around people that are supposed to be your friends. It makes it impossible to express your feelings unless they're with a romantic partner, and all of this turns you into a pent up ball of emotions with nowhere to go.

Which means that the message is: In order to fix the way the patriarchy oppresses men, men need to learn how to form close bonds with people, especially other men. Because like Barbie said to Ken, he needs to discover who he is without her. Men have learned to lean on women as a crutch, using them to figure out how to Be A Person and express emotions in a healthy way, but this can very quickly turn into a woman feeling like she needs too be his mother and teach him how to do these things. And Ken was 100% doing this, or at least he was trying to throughout the movie. Ken was so desperate for Barbie to be in love with him, not necessarily because he loved her, but because he needed a person he could just exist as himself around. Because he couldn't do that with the other Kens, the only person he could be himself around was Barbie.

And what's so great about the end of the movie is that the Kens did eventually figure out how to form close bonds with each other! They went to war, argued and fought, but by the end of the song they were holding hands, kissing each other on the cheek, telling each other they were enough. Even when Ken is up in the dreamhouse, crying and saying that he looks stupid, all the other Kens start shouting back up to him, saying that he looks cool. And Ken responds by giving one of his new friends his coat, which was clearly very important to him.

What the Kens did, that's what men in the real world need to do. They need to form close bonds with other men and stop competing with each other. Hopefully not by going to war the way the Kens did, Barbie isn't a blueprint for solving the patriarchy lol.

I'd be happy to do it through a song though.

[itneverendshere]

thinking of how rafe wouldn’t want you to work while pregnant

that man would be so stressed, since day one!! and bartender!reader would noooot give him a break, still covering bartending shifts even tho she was the manager bc she simply enjoyed doing it every once in a while. and he's like ?????? will you sit your ass down PLEASE. but you're not listening, if there's ONE thing the pregnancy hormones gave you was extra attitude. somethin' along these lines:

rafe could feel his jaw clenching as he watched you across the room, rolling your eyes for the third time in the past five minutes. you were doing it on purpose now, deliberately ignoring him while standing behind the bar, mixing drinks like you weren’t six months pregnant.

the bartender had called in sick, and you, the manager, jumped in and covered for him. rafe crossed his arms, leaning against the counter, and tried not to look too annoyed, but fuck if it wasn’t hard.

you still had that spark in you, that independence that drew him in from the start, but now? now it just made him worry.

worry like he never thought he could.

“you’re really gonna give me a heart attack, y’know that?” he called out, his voice carrying over the chatter around the country club.

most people were too busy with their drinks and golf gossip to notice you two bickering, but anyone paying attention could see that familiar dynamic. you doing whatever you damn well pleased, him trying to keep his cool, which he never really could when it came to you putting yourself at risk.

you glanced at him over your shoulder, hands moving like second nature as you garnished a drink. “’m fine, baby” you told him, voice just as breezy as ever, like the huge bump pressing against your shirt was nothing more than an accessory. “it’s just a couple hours.”

there was that old habit of yours—acting like everything was fine when you clearly weren’t. or maybe you were, but that wasn’t the point.

the point was, you shouldn’t have to be there.

“you say that, but i know you’re gonna be hurting later,” he muttered, pushing off the counter and walking around to your side of the bar.

his hand landed gently on your waist, thumb brushing the small of your back like he always did when he wanted to get you to stop for just a second.

“c’mon, baby. just take a break, you don’t need to be on your feet like this.”

it wasn’t that you didn’t want help—you’d worked through that over the past couple years—but that stubborn streak was still there.

“’m not some porcelain doll,” you reminded him, rolling your eyes again, “’m not gonna drop dead because i’m pregnant.”

he felt his stomach drop when those words left your mouth. "jesus christ, woman," he muttered, his eyes widening in exasperation. "don’t say that shit.”

“alright, my bad,” you gave in, “didn’t mean it like that.”

rafe sighed, his hand still resting on you. he hated when you talked like that, like you had to remind him how capable you were. of course he knew. 

"promise me you're taking a leave starting tomorrow," he practically begged you despite attempting to sound firm, but that undertone of worry had been his constant companion ever since you'd found out you were pregnant. 

"next week," you sang back, not even looking up from the drink you were finishing. 

you were still in work mode, determined to keep things running smoothly despite the fact you should’ve been at home, resting.

"tomorrow," he insisted, leaning in closer, his voice softening but no less serious.

you turned to face him, eyes narrowing. "next week, or you’re not getting sex for the next three months. now get outta my bar.”

rafe blinked, his jaw going slack as he stared at you, completely blindsided. 

“what—"

“go on,” you gestured toward the other side of the counter with a flick of your hand, “out.”

his mouth opened and closed a couple of times, like a fish. he was processing, but slowly.

"but… baby," he whined, his voice dipping into a tone that could only be described as kicked puppy. “just—wanna make sure you’re okay. that you’re safe, and you’re not overdoing it. you can’t kick me out, i need to be around you.”

you gave him that look, the one that told him he was pushing his luck. "rafe, i swear to god—”

he let out a long, dramatic sigh, but started to back off, lifting his hands in surrender.

"alright, alright, ‘m going," he grunted, dragging his feet toward the exit like a kid being told to go to bed. but before he did go, he turned back one more time, his eyes pleading. "i’ll be outside if you need me."

"of course you will," you muttered, shaking your head with a half-smile. you knew he wasn’t going far, probably just far enough to hover and peek through the windows, pretending to give you space but unable to help himself.

"i love you, stop spiraling," you called out after him.

he paused, turning back to look at you, his expression softening.  

“love you too.”

[schoenpepper]

It's Okay to Play Favorites (Vice Housewardens)

Intro: You accidentally get sucked into the world of Twisted Wonderland, your favorite game, like, ever. And uh, you may or may not have teleported with a plushie of your favorite character…

Warnings: bad writing, awful grammar, not proofread, self aware au but not god, your card collection is just you being freaky and taking pictures of them, google translated French be warned, ortho’s is platonic and if u take it any other way i ban u, lilia’s is also platonic but if u see romance crumbs i won't stop u, ik ruggie and ortho aren't vice housewardens but get this idgaf

A/N: Bro college got me fucked (second day in i know i'm a fucking whiner i hate it all). Not a request, just some random stuff I wrote during my 3 hour round-trip commute jfc. If my Jade favoritism is acting up, no it ain't.

Masterlist

Trey Clover is a man often overlooked, whether in the fandom or the world of Twisted Wonderland.

So when you get transported in during orientation, you, the player, were holding a plush form of him?

He blanks out.

Sorry Riddle, your vice housewarden kinda crashed maybe you can reboot him or something.

Trey’s never thought of himself as anything special, but he must be if he’s your favorite character, right?

You befriend him with a giddy smile, he can almost see the hearts in your eyes as you fan[redacted] so hard you actually hug him in your excitement.

The player? Hugged? Him?????

“Crazy bro that’s like super nuts so jealous of you.” - Cater Diamond

Hm, he gets a bit bashful when you take so many pictures of him.

Do you really like him that much?

He…likes you too.

“Cringe.” - Cater Diamond

I’m just a normal person, you know? At least, the closest someone can get to normal in this place. You still want me? Are you sure?

…Okay.

If you’re sure.

Unfortunately, to date a dad is to put up with dad jokes.

Do you mind though?

Makes you the most delicious pastries and confectionery known to mankind. You’ll probably get 5 lbs fatter and a sugar addiction.

But your teeth will be beautiful because he teaches you how to brush your teeth properly.

(Ten kinds of toothbrushes…)

Picnic dates.

Tea party dates.

Baking dates.

You might need to go on a diet to stay in shape because Trey doesn’t mind fat. He will probably love you more if you’re chubby.

But he loves you regardless.

Rest of the cast is like, vaguely jealous because why Trey?

But also he has a generally good rapport with other people so it’s cool.

Maybe.

Ruggie Bucchi wasn’t really paying too much attention at the ceremony but you definitely drew his focus.

Is that a plushie hyena beastman?

Does not register that it’s him until someone calls it out.

What? Why? How? When? Where?

He probably has major self esteem issues because, you know, the school’s filled to the brim with rich kids and people with status.

He has neither money nor power. So when he finds out he’s your favorite character? Boom.

He lets out his cute (im not biased) laugh but it’s because he doesn’t know how else to react.

You want to be his friend? Why not?

(Laughs again because he’s exploding on the inside)

You hug him???? Crazy. You owe him a donut for that, bro.

Thinks the picture thing is a bit weird but who is he to argue with the player?

You’re weird, y’know? There’s like princes and moguls and stuff in NRC, why me?

You like me? You find me charming?

That’s not something I’d really use for myself but hey…knock yourself out. Shishishi.

Floof.

You get to scratch his ears and kiss ‘em and watch ‘em twitch while he tries to get away from you.

Insane bro wish I was you.

Cuddly and surprisingly clingy, loves loves loves being pampered.

Are you indoctrinated by my subby Ruggie vibes yet???

His love language is sharing food.

(Have you ever tried passing candy through a kiss? No? Wanna try?)

His grandma will love you <3

The other characters will be giving him major stink eye. The scrappy hyena? Really?

Yes really.

“Whatever, good for you.” - Leona probably.

Jade Leech is amused.

Rather childish, is it not? Well, he’s flattered that you think so highly of him and even have this stuffed toy in his image.

Unfortunately, he does hold enough respect for you as the player to not immediately use your infatuation with him for nefarious purposes.

Not to say he doesn’t tease you though.

You are the flustered one here.

He’s your favorite? Oya, how interesting. He’s never seen himself the way that you do, but who is he to argue with the player?

Please, what do you like so much about him? Do tell.

(His systems crash when you hug him but you’ll never know)

You seem to enjoy taking his pictures. If you let him [redacted] you can take as many as you want.

If you don’t take him up on his offer I will!!!

My, I never expected to be your ‘favorite character’, was it? Well, I don’t mind.

What do I think of you?

Fufu, wouldn’t you like to know?

Loving a sadist means you’re probably a masochist.

You like it when he ‘unintentionally’ makes you do something stupid? Toys with you? Teases you with his annoyingly adorable super cutie pie grin?

Bro you have weird taste I could like, never~

If you didn’t like mushrooms before you do now.

You wish he’d look at you the way he looks at his terrariums.

You know that silly, happy, dopey little look he gets? The lab coat groovy one? Yeah.

Hiking dates if you’re physically able to. If not, he makes like the fanciest dinner dates ever.

He does love you, promise.

The other characters are highkey judging you.

Jamil Viper is inside his hoodie and is very unlikely to ever come out.

You’re kinda embarrassing but what is he supposed to do?

You’re the player. You have a plushie Jamil. Tiny and cute.

Jamil doesn’t see himself as cute. Wouldn’t it be better if you had a different one? Someone sunnier, someone warmer, someone like…Kalim?

Jamil’s your favorite character?

Yeah he’s not leaving his hoodie.

When you’re so happy and excited that you hug him, his soul leaves his body through his lips.

Rip Jamil Viper.

I don’t think Jamil’s very used to the camera, considering he’s technically Kalim’s servant and servants stay in the background.

But since you adore him the way that you do, well, he won’t stop you.

You’re strange. Is this a prank?

No, I don’t mean to doubt you. It’s just that…

No, nevermind. Since you want me, I’ll—love? You love me? Fine, I can work with that too.

His favorite kind of date is one where you two sleep and cuddle together.

He needs a break.

It’s not too often that he can carve time out of babysitting, so any time spent with him you’ll cherish like gold.

You can help him with chores if you manage to persist through multiple rejections.

He’d really prefer not to make the player do chores with him, but when you smile so wide like that, he can’t refuse anymore on the grounds of you not enjoying it.

Kalim can lend you guys the carpet though, you wanna fly?

While the cast doesn’t generally approve of the snake, you’re very loud about your infatuation.

They can’t stop you.

Rook Hunt is a lover of beauty, and you, the player, are the most beauté of all! (full points :D)

Qu'est-ce que c'est? A soft and fluffy copy of himself? How wonderous! Marvelous! The adorable cotton-filled blah blah blah (insert soliloquy here)

While there’s a tiny thought in his mind that perhaps the poison apple or the queen would be more befitting of a nui plush, he still takes your fascination with him in stride.

(It’s not often that he’s in this role.)

To be your favorite, it is an honor!

He shall dedicate a poem to your inner and outer beauty!

Accidentally tosses you to the ground when you try to hug him.

Desolé, instinct. Try again?

He’s not used to being the one in the spotlight, but please, take as many pictures as you need!

Love? Love is the most beautiful indeed. Comme toi, tellement adorable. Lovely.

You’re asking if I have someone I love?

Je suis un lâche de ne pas exprimer mon amour pour toi. 

Either you get what he’s saying or you remember it so you can translate later.

Anyway, have you ever wanted to hunt for sport as a date?

No?

How about getting hunted for sport?

Still no? Shame.

Rook settles for little camping trips in the woods, just you and him and the forest (and his bow and quiver of arrows and his hunting knife and his dagger and—).

He makes very good roasted meat.

You’ll enjoy it as long as you remember not to ask where it’s from.

Uh, ignore how every other cast member is judging you. Love is love, right?

Ortho Shroud is very happy! Very excited! Yay!

You’re a legendary figure, and you’re treating him so nicely! 

Is that a toy made to look like him? You like Ortho? He’s your favorite character?

Yay!

Robo baby is very happy.

Since you like Ortho, do you like Idia too?

Can you be Idia’s friend?

Can you be a new older sibling? Please?

(Say yes or I will [redacted])

Hugs? Hugs!

Forehead kisses?

Yes!

You seem to enjoy taking many pictures of Ortho. Why is this? You like him that much?

If so, maybe you two should take pictures together instead of always taking pictures of him alone. He’d love to take lots of pictures with you!

Can Idia come?

I am your favorite character? Like in a video game? This world is also a video game?

That’s great!

What kind of character am I?

Lilia Vanrouge thinks you’re funny. But also totally correct.

He must be sinful because even you, dear player, find him absolutely adorable!

Hehehe…

Is that a tiny Lilia? Good taste! It’s almost as adorable as the real one.

When you hug him in your excitement, he just laughs and pats your back.

Grandpa vibes.

A picture? Why not?

A selfie, as you kids say. (bro you’re not even detached from modern technology???)

Really likes taking pictures with you.

Since you like him a lot and he’s your favorite character, be a dear and forgo your sleep schedule to game with him.

I’m your favorite, right? Surely that means you’d love to taste my cooking?

No? Why, I’m saddened by your rejection…

There we go. It’s not so bad, is it? I made it with effort, onions, garlic…are you alright? Oh dear.

[fairestwriting]

Hello there! Love your writing! How about my sweet Savanaclaw boys finding out that their crush (or S/O) sleeps cuddling a plushie of their respective animals (like a wolf for Jack). Thanks! I love Jack so much :)

me while jumping at the opportunity of writing the man: i hate leona

Leona Kingscholar

He is canonically a very smart and perceptive guy. But somewhere in my heart I just know he wouldn't fully make the connection for a while. Just trust me on that one.

Kind of pokes fun at your "cat" plushie. What's with that thing, Herbivore? Aren't you a little too old for stuffed animals? Though he steps back if it makes you genuinely upset, which isn't what he's going for, he's just being an ass as a joke again. A part of him thinks it's really endearing, even before it really clicks for him.

He kind of feels vaguely jealous of the plushie. If you bring it while you two are sleeping together he'll pull the what do you need this thing for, I'm right here kind of shtick.

Confused on why you sleep with a plushie in the first place, more confused about why this stuffed cat looks so weird... oh, wait.

He's stupidly proud when it actually clicks. Of course he won't tell you it went over his head for the longest time, but all of a sudden, he's all smug whenever he sees you with the plushie, saying you could've just called if you missed him so much.!

Ruggie Bucchi

Takes a hot second to make the connection, but a lot less than Leona. The delay is mostly because he's never expected to see a hyena plushie of all things.

Actually loves it because it reminds him of the kids back home a little. He asks where you bought it, how much it was, tells you a little story about a kid he knew who wanted one just like that.

He won't explicitly ask to hold it but you should offer it, he loves your little buddy, he's already said you should come to him if you ever need to get a tear patched up. Doesn't even have it in him to make a joke about it being childish, at most tells you he'll keep it a secret if you look embarrassed.

When he does notice though, while poking at the plushie's little ears absentmindedly, he's the one who gets flustered. Oh no, that's really cute kind of realization.

He wants to sound cool when he says that, you know, if you want to sleep with him, you can just invite him over, but he does fail pretty hard. He can't help it, though, it's just way too endearing to him.

...Besides, he's already offered to co-parent the toy. If it doesn't have a name, it's just a matter of time before Ruggie asks and "jokingly" comes up with suggestions.

Jack Howl

Only one who thinks it might have to do something with him... but he's kind of too flustered to say anything about it for a good while.

He bashfully reassures you there's nothing wrong with keeping plushies around even if you're not a kid, maybe letting it slip that he thinks the little wolf is pretty cute... then pretending he didn't say anything.

Jack overthinks it a bit. Wolf plushies aren't that uncommon, right? You probably had it before you met him. He's too shy to ask if you had it before you met him.

He'll settle on... asking about the plushie itself. It might not have anything to do with him, but he knows pretty quickly that he wants it to. If you're not dating yet, he'll use the almighty excuse of asking about it because he needs to get his little siblings a gift.

Either way, though, the next excuse he gets, whether it's Christmas or your birthday or whatever, you find yourself with a very neatly wrapped box in your hands, and Jack nearly hiding behind it. Just saw it in a shop near home and thought you might like it, he says.

Whether your previous plushie was based on the exact same type of white wolf he is doesn't matter. If it is, it's getting a twin. You bet he scoured the shops to find it, blessing his luck on wolves being animals plenty of people love. He has a small, shy smile on his face when you take it.

if you wanna support my work, you can buy me a ko-fi or commission me!

[ienjoywritingfilth]

a sinner i am part viii: aloha means goodbye

trope:Boyfriend's Dad PP character: Joel Miller x f reader this chapter summary: You and Joel have a hard time saying goodbye as the vacation ends warning: dirty talk, public sex,joel's a dirty old man, daddy kink, cheating on your bf (but it’s cool, cuz its with Joel and everything is fictional in this universe), alternative universe b/c daddy miller stays alive and hates golfand he has a son named Shawn, no Sarah. words 4.1k rating: E author: i was giggling reading these reviews and i loved some of your ideas. i incorporated some in this chapter and love knowing what else you think these two freaky freaks should get up to so please keep reviewing so i don't stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoox taglist: @lady-viscera | @cjdign | @fuckthatbazinga | @liciafonseca | @stevie75 | @joelalorian | @oldenoughtoknowbettersstuff | @akah565 | @dontknow446 | @pedritosgfreal | @yesjazzywazzylove-blog | @untamedheart81 | @ashleyfilm | @sptbear | @elegantduckturtle | @noneofmyshipsarereal | @blahkateisdone | @wintersquirrel | @shivkillian | @auteurdelabre | @sheepdogchick3 | @moel-jiller | @cuteanimalmama | @gossipgirl-03 | @cowboymarcs | @tahi2006 | @guelyury | @churchofjoemiller | @r3dheadedwitch | @tutarrads | @galway-girlatwork | @supertoga | @ghostofzion | @casssiopeia | @tateypots | @yxtkiwiyxt | @regalwhovianbrowncoat774 | @pastelpinkflowerlife | @inept-the-magnificent | @auteurdelabre | @meleekabenjamin | @stevie75 | @animejunki5 | @zooty-and-fruity | @drunk-and-capable | @lunpycatavenue | @joelssluttyknee | @getitoutofmymindwrites | @swankyorange | @joeldidnothingwrong | @thischarmingmandalorian | @604to647 | @pedr0swh0r3 | @annieispunk | @doblasftcisco | @ilmattmurdocksthighs | @bunnybeheaded | @swaggydogsblog | @untamedheart81 | @watermelonslut | @loudtimetraveljellyfish | @bbyanarchist |

wanna see my other stuff?

part vii: aloha means goodbye

"I want that jet lag from fucking and flying." — Lil Nas X

Joel wakes several hours before his alarm, unable to sleep. He's torn up inside over everything that's happened. He needs time to think about next steps. Should he confess to Tess and Shawn? What good would it do it things are going to stop once you get home? Wouldn't that just be hurting people for no reason? He pulls on a hoodie over his swim shorts and opens the sliding glass door with a small squeak. Everyone is quiet, sleeping soundly when he exits. 

He figures the beach is as good a place as any so he grabs a towel on his way out. It's still early, no one is awake on the beach so he has it to himself when he arrives. Joel lays out the towel in the sand, sitting and watching the waves crash against the rocks. 

He thinks about the way you stared up at him when he fucked you in the cave and of how your bodies seem to work in time so well together. He feels arousal nipping at him and he tries to shift his thoughts; you marrying his son, getting pregnant, starting a family all while Joel watches on. Can he really put himself through that, knowing the taste of your cunt and scent of your skin? 

"It's pretty out here."

He looks up surprised to see you standing a few steps away approaching him. 

"I heard the door squeak," you tell his questioning face before taking a seat next to him on the towel. He shuffles over, giving you more room. But your sides touch and he tries to swallow his desire for you. The two of you watch the sunrise slowly making its way into the sky making a melting palette of pink and gold. The moment feels peaceful instead of charged for once. You lean against his shoulder, sighing. 

“Feels good to be with you," Joel admits, kissing the top of your head without thinking. "I always thought you were fun to be around, y'always made me laugh." He sobers. "But after this week I don't think I can ever look at you the same. Not like that," Joel says when you jerk your head up anxiously. "There's no going back and that should upset me but as fucked up as this sounds it's the first time I've felt seen in a real long time." He surprises you by blinking back wet from his eyes. "Plus, I’ve never had sex that good in my life." 

"Me neither. But vacation is over which means we're over," you say in a sad voice.

Joel looks down his shoulder at you and sees the way your downcast eyes are wet. "I know it's wrong but I don't want it to be over."

Something in his chest aches when you sniffle and he moves closer to you. "I'm marrying your son, Joel. We can't keep this going, the guilt is already killing me." 

Joel squeezes your knee tightly, sending a thrill through you. 

"We'll be in each other's lives forever," you whimper with glassy eyes. "We'll have to keep this secret forever."

"I was thinkin about that," Joel admits with a sigh. "Tryin to figure out what to do." 

You turn to face him, your hand going to his bicep and squeezing hopefully. 

"What did you come up with?"

You look up at him like he knows the answer to it all. He wants to tell you that he's got it under control but he doesn't, not when you're involved. Instead he smiles gently down at you. 

"Vacation isn't over yet," he murmurs, taking your face in a broad hand and bringing you in for a long kiss. He only intends to kiss you chastely as a final goodbye to a very special week. A time he'll never forget as long as he lives.But then your tongue searches his out and you whimper as he licks into your mouth before dragging your hand to his shirt and holding tight. He sees your pebbled nipples through your shirt and he can't help but bring a broad palm to cup one, squeezing as you hiss his name. 

"It's not over yet," you murmur when he tries to stop himself as if you can see his inner conflict. "Just one more time." 

He nods, groaning your name and kissing you deeply. He pushes you back onto his towel, kissing and kneading your breasts as you tilt. You arch into his hand, itching for him to grab you harder. He ruts between your legs as he comments on how perfectly your tits fit in his hand. You cry out deliriously and push your t-shirt up over your breasts, exposing hard, pink nipples. 

"Taste them." 

Joel looks at your perfect tits and for what feels like the millionth time this week reminds himself he's a bad fucking man. He thinks this even as he begins to suck each nipple into his mouth as you purr his name. He pulls his cock out of his shorts, feeling the tip leaking as you say his name over and over. You could tell him that this is a bad idea, that you'll be caught, that you're engaged to his son. But nothing seems a strong enough reason to keep from lifting your hips as he tugs off your shorts and settles himself between your spread legs. 

"Beautiful girl," he whispers as he watches you underneath him, cunt glistening as he feeds himself into you slowly. You whine to yourself before your hands come to grip him by his shoulders.

"Deeper----" 

Joel grins down at you, pressing himself into you until his cock has disappeared between your folds. He watches as your eyes flutter open to gaze up at him. 

"You feel so big from this angle," you tell him with a shudder. "Even bigger than usual." 

Joel doesn't want to rush this part. The sun is still taking its time to rise and the beach is still desolate. Only you and Joel are there, you laying on your back and Joel on his forearms thrusting between your legs. 

"Fuck I'm gonna dream about this cunt the rest of my life," Joel mutters to himself. "Best pussy I've ever had." He starts to thrust his pelvis aggressively, watching your body jolt under him.  "Every time I fuck her it's you I'm thinkin about," he admits as he starts to go faster, his soaked cock and damp thighs thwapping against your ass. You blink up at him, hands going to his tight ass and urging him deeper. 

"Now I can only cum when I'm imagining it's you," you tell him in a charged whine.

Joel hates that your confession gets him harder. Knowing that he's better than a man half his age, knowing that your cunt would rather his cock. His fingers slide between your bodies, coming to land on the slippery pearl between your thighs. 

"Show me how good it feels." 

He rubs and thrusts as your whines turn into cries for him to keep going. He fucks into you so deeply the world goes blurry and all he can focus on is your tits jiggling, the gaping hole of your mouth as you moan. 

"So good so good please don't stop," you tell him with a desperation he's never heard in you. You cum quickly with Joel giving you both his dick and rubbing you with his fingers. 

Joel feels like his cock is going to erupt. He pulls from you rapidly, using your slick to pump his aching cock over you. He doesn't even have time to ask you where you want his load, he just comes in thick ropes all over your stomach, gasping as more and more bursts from the head of his cock and onto your skin. 

"Daddy," you moan, arching in the towel. Joel grabs one thigh and keeps stroking himself over you. 

They're shouldn't be this much, not when he's just cum last night, but something about your fucked-out body and expression has him jerking and cumming until he feels lightheaded. He collapses onto the towel next to you, pulling you in for a bruising kiss. 

"That was so good," you tell him stretching.

"How am I supposed to stop thinkin about this?" Joel asks breathing hard as he gazes at your tits out, his cum dripping into your navel, your pussy ruined. "How am I supposed to forget?" 

"I don't know that I'll ever be able to forget," you admit to him. You take in his pink cheeks and mussed curls. You look at his softening cock still thick and big and then you look at his warm orbs. "I don't know that I want to." 

You've never felt more alive than in these last few days with Joel. You've never felt so desired or so cared for and you've never made a man fall apart like Joel has. This big, powerful man that seems to be weak just for you. 

Joel leans over and pulls your mouth to his, kissing you once more. "Let's go for a swim and get you clean," he murmurs, gripping your hand and pulling you to a stand. The two of you head into the water naked, washing the remains of your indiscretion from your bodies, letting your sins float out into the sea. 

You feel sick to your stomach as you pack up your belongings later that morning. You still don't know what you're going to do about this guilt about Joel, unsure of if you can even go along with this engagement. Shawn isn't helping matters by running to you with every little thing he can't find. It reminds you of his immaturity and it makes you angrier every time he does it.

"Have you seen my razor?"

"Bathroom." 

"What about that blue shirt?"

"Under the bed." 

"And I can't find my phone."

"Jesus Christ, Shawn!" You say throwing up your hands. "Try looking for yourself for once! Why do I have to keep track of all your shit?!"

Shawn stares at you in shock as all the air is sucked from the room. He goes silent before standing and grabbing his suitcase and dragging it outside the bedroom. You look up to see Joel standing by the door with a blank look on his face. You don't know how much he overheard. You turn away from him packing up the remainder of your belongings. 

Joel watches you from outside the door. He notices how you hunch your shoulders and how you spoke to Shawn. He can't understand why it secretly gets him off knowing that that you want Joel so much you'll fuck him on the beach but you can't handle Shawn being around you. He knows that this is treacherous, that fucking you was bad enough but this feeling in his gut is worse, the feeling that says he could treat you better than Shawn. 

The taxi arrives to take you all to the airport shortly thereafter. Tess and Shawn file out and you go to follow when you feel Joel's hand on your shoulder. He holds you in place before his mouth is at your ear breathing heavily. 

"I can still smell you on me." 

Your legs wobble but you try to keep upright. You grab the wall beside the door to keep from collapsing right there. You can see Shawn and Tess loading their bags into the taxi. 

"I need to watch you cum on my cock one last time," Joel whispers in urgency. "Meet me in the back of the plane ten minutes after takeoff. Can you do that?"

That's all you want to do. You want him to hold you and you want to feel him again despite still being sore from this morning. But you made a promise to yourselves.

"Joel we said that last time was the last time."

"Until we touch down it's still vacation," he says with humour in his voice that disappears when he sees your serious expression. "Whatever you decide, I'll be waitin, honey. No pressure." He leaves you going to join Tess and assisting her in packing up the taxi. You watch him go with your stomach in knots. 

"I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier," you tell Shawn quietly as you buckle in next to him on the plane, wanting to make amends since the whole drive to the airport was quiet and strained between the two of you.

"I get it," Shawn insists. "You were stressed. I know how much you hate flying." 

He gives your hand a squeeze and a timid smile and your guilt is compounded. Joel and Tess are in the seats in front of you. You gaze at the back of Joel's graying curls and hold in a sigh. 

"You two doin okay?" Joel says turning around to look between you and Shawn. His eyes skip to Shawn's hand around yours and his teeth clench. 

"Yeah we're good," Shawn says grinning. "Thanks for everything, dad. This was a great trip." 

"Yeah, thank you so much," you add unable to meet Joel's eyes. "I had the best time." 

"Me too," Tess adds from beside Joel, squeezing his shoulder. "Thanks, Texas." 

Joel smiles, his eyes flitting to your face one last time before he faces the front and the plane takes off.  You close your eyes, squeezing Shawn's hand as the plane makes its way into the sky. You're disturbed when the only thought you have is how you'd rather it was Joel comforting you. 

Soon the plane rights itself and the seatbelt sign dims. You hold your breath when Joel unbuckles and stands, stretching. He gazes down at you and gives a subtle wink before walking past your chair. His cologne drifts over you as he passes. Shawn starts talking about telling everyone about your engagement when you get home. You haven't even told your family about it. No time felt right and you're scared you know why. 

The minutes tick by as you think about what to do. If you follow him in aren't you crossing a line? Then again technically you're still on vacation. You glance over to see Shawn is dozing with his headphones on. Fuck it. You get up quietly, not wanting to disturb anyone. You creep to the back of the plane, following the direction Joel was headed. 

You slip by a flight attendant about to do the drink service and near the small airplane toilets. You see Joel peek through the crack of one door before he opens it widely beckoning you inside. You glance over your shoulder to see you're still unseen and slip into the cramped space. 

You and Joel are pressed so tightly together when the door shuts and locks. You're palms are flat on his chest and he sweeps you into his arms, kissing you ferociously. You break apart and Joel looks you over ravenously. This is the last time he's going to fuck you and he wants to make it count. You watch him hit his knees, kissing your stomach. 

"I wanna lick your pussy one last time," Joel murmurs, tugging your panties and shorts down. "C'mon and let daddy have a taste." 

It's cramped in the small bathroom, especially with someone as broad as Joel. But somehow you manage it, tilting back over the sink as Joel throws your legs over his shoulders and eats you out. Your hands feather through his curly locks before holding as you rut against his mouth when he hits a good spot. 

"That good baby girl?" Joel asks with his beard glistening, his fingers digging into your hip. You look down to see his face between your legs, his nose rubbing against the lips of your cunt. 

"Yeah," you whimper with your chin on your chest, watching as his tongue comes to flick your clit before licking quick stripes up and down over and over. He sucks your clit onto his mouth just after asking "you gonna cum on Daddy's tongue?" 

You don't answer because you're already holding back a loud cry as you cum and flood his mouth with hot arousal, your thighs shaking as he holds you up. 

"Uh huh uh huh," Joel groans as he laps you up and you start to whine softly. "Keep goin, keep makin those sounds for me." 

He licks you into overstimulation and you push him back gently, trying to catch your breath. He grins up at you and stands, wincing when his knees pop. 

"Gettin too old for this shit." 

You push him back onto the lid of the toilet, desperate for more. You unbuckle him and unzip his cock before falling to your knees and preparing to lick. 

"Up up," Joel insists before you can get started. "Need to feel that pussy around me, honey. One last time." 

You nod and box him in between your thighs, hands pushing back his hair as he gazes at you. 

"Condom?" You whisper, preparing to settle yourself on his lap. 

"Don't have one. I'll have to pull out." 

He's not even finished the sentence and you're sliding down his cock with your head leaning back. Joel's forehead goes to your collar as he grunts slowly. 

You wonder if it's the danger that makes this all feel so good or because it's so fucking taboo. Or is it just because Joel really knows what he's doing? Because it's barely any time at all before he's got you seeing stars and panting his name into his ear. 

"You make me so wet." 

Joel loves the sound of that, grunting as he begins to guide you up and down on his cock. You sit like a woman riding a horse, legs spread, bouncing up and down. "Fuck this is good," Joel tells you with an uneven smile. "How can I stop fucking this perfect pussy baby girl?" 

You can only groan in reply, your forehead pitching forward and your body slack. Joel slides his cock up higher and deeper, causing you to punch out a cry you try to muffle. 

"You feel too good," Joel tells you between thrusts. "Gonna cum soon." 

"Want me to get off?" You ask in a dreamy voice. "You can fuck my mouth and finish." 

"No baby girl," Joel gasps as he feels his cock about to release another load. "Gonna fuck it into this sweet pussy."

A ripple of anxiety goes through you at his words. "You can't cum inside," you tell him in a whine, even as you allow him to hold you stationary as he fucks up into you. "You can't." 

"What did we say?" Joel reminds you with a thrust. "This is my cunt and I fuck it how I want." 

"But Joel."

"You say no but you're still bouncing," Joel grits out. "Think maybe you wanna be full of me. Maybe you get off knowing how you're gonna have me dripping out of you while-" 

A loud knock breaks Joel's dirty whispers in your ear. 

"Hello? Can you hurry up please?"

Joel goes white as a sheet at the familiar sound of Tess on the other side of the door. You can see the panic on his face as he imagines being caught in here with you. How could he possibly explain it? 

He waits for you to get off of him but instead You look at him with a sheepish smirk before you start to roll your hips. Joel's hands are like a vice around your waist, holding you still and his whisper is tinted with anxiety. 

"Stop." 

"Thought you were gonna fill me up," you whisper against his temple, your cunt swallowing him again and again as you bounce. 

"I can't. She's right out there. We're fucked." 

"Not if you keep quiet." 

You cover Joel's mouth with your hand continuing to bounce animatedly on his lap. Joel can only groan into your palm as you beam at him, your tight body riding him, bouncing your tits aggressively so that they ricochet. 

Body so tight, so fucking good. She deserves a man who knows what he's doing. Sweet cunt like this needs to be fucked properly

Joel feels his cock being strangled and he knows he's about to cum. He wasn't serious about cumming inside you, he doesn't even know if you're on the pill. But you're not stopping, if anything you're totally feral. 

Another knock sounds but Joel can't stop feeding his cock into your welcoming quim. Something caveman-like takes hold of him and he fucks you hard, grunting against your hand as he grips you around the waist. 

Another knock. "Hello? People are waiting." 

Joel knows that fucking you while his girlfriend is standing outside is sickening. Tess has never been anything but faithful. So why can't he stop himself with you? You give him a devilish look, perched on his lap, ready to take him deeper. You're fucking sinful with your shirt rolled up and your bottom bare. You lean forward and kiss his throat, smiling when you feel his fingers tighten. 

"Should we let her in?" You whisper against Joel's jaw. "Let her see what it looks like when you fuck me full? Let her find me riding your big cock Mr. Miller?"

You haven't called him that in ages, back when you first met and he feels his cock start to twitch inside you. 

"What would she think about you fucking some girl half your age?" You continue, feeling debauched. "You think she'd be mad at how much you need this tight pussy, Mr Miller?" 

Joel isn't able to respond to your question, he can only watch as your pussy wraps around his throbbing dick.

"Fuck I'm gonna cum."

You wrap your arms around his neck and kiss his earlobe. "Inside," you beg in a breathy whine. "Please fuck it deep, daddy." 

He cums hard at your begging and is mesmerized by the way his cum begins to leak out of your pussy, down into the thatch of dark curls at the base of him. 

"So good," you murmur against his mouth. "I'm so full of you."

He can only pant, staring at you in awe. He shouldn’t be able to cum this much and this hard. Joel tenses when he hears Tess talking to someone outside the door. 

"There are toilets at the back, ma'am."

"Thank you so much." 

Her footsteps recede and Joel catches his breath. Your face is dazed, like you can’t quite believe what you asked of him. You stare down at where you still connect.

"Gonna be dripping the whole flight home," Joel murmurs looking at your ruined cunt. "Sitting there with panties full of my cum. What do you think about that?" 

You feel disgusting for whining in pleasure. Joel holds your chin between his fingers and kisses you. "You're somethin else," he says as he stares into your eyes. "Thanks for the hottest week of my fucking life."

"Same here," you say with a toothy grin. 

Joel tidies himself up before leaving first. You wait a few minutes, cleaning yourself the best you can before pulling on your panties and shorts. You peek your head out to see that the fight crew is busy serving drinks. You arrive back at your seat just in time to overhear Tess grumbling next to Joel. 

"There was a couple in the toilets, I'm sure I heard them fucking." 

"Tess you're imagining things."

"I am not. I heard grunting and whining. I wish they hadn't told me to use the other toilets. I wanted to see who the disgusting perverts were." 

"You okay?" Shawn whispers when you settle in next to him. "You were gone a long time." 

"Stomach stuff," you lie with ease. 

"You want me to ask for a tea?" 

You suddenly remember why you're with Shawn in the first place. You love him and his thoughtful ways of making you feel special. He's immature of course but he's a good person. He's stuck by you through hard times and look how you’ve repaid him.

"That's okay," you say giving his lips a peck. 

You take a moment to enjoy his handsome face, noting the similarities with Joel in his features. Shawn will age well and he'll make a good and devoted husband. You're lucky to have someone like him. 

"I love you so much, babe," Shawn says sweetly, gazing at you with so much adoration that it takes your breath away. 

"I love you too," you say, melting. 

"I can't wait for you to be my wife." 

You can almost taste your guilt knowing you sit here with his father's cum dripping out of you. 

"So when do you wanna get married?" He asks you with a huge smile on his face. 

You see Joel tilting his face slightly waiting for your response. But all you can think about is that you need to put this whole affair behind you. It was a crazy vacation experience. You've never cheated on Shawn before and after today you never will again. You need to move Joel out of your head and the only way to do that is to move forward with Shawn. You take his hand and squeeze it tightly. 

"Let's do it as soon as possible." 

I love knowing what else you think these two freaky freaks should get up to so please keep reviewing so i don't stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[teddybeartoji]

office au! with coworker!gojo

he's the type to always be a little late. by a little, i of course mean a lot. he always bursts in the door with the biggest smile on his lips and four coffees in his hand. he winks at his coworkers, who then always blush and giggle out a hi, satoru! and you always roll your eyes at that. satoru nods his male coworkers, who always try to dap him up and start a conversation but he doesn't have time for that. he has things to do. (as if he isn't literally Late smh)

he answers the guys' question while he's walking – his eyes set on his favourite coworker. you. sitting in your cubicle, you're trying to ignore him and his dramatic enterance. that he does every single day. how annoying can he be? before you can roll your eyes again, a cup of coffee has landed on your table, making you glance over your shoulder.

he's blinding you, his grin is stretched so wide it's almost a bit creepy. he's standing right behind you, leaning his hand on your table right next to where he just placed the coffee. he's way too close for a co-worker and you gulp.

ugh.

"aren't you gonna thank your favourite coworker for bringing you coffee? whew, tough crowd, huh." his smile doesn't falter and he just leans in closer, his cologne clouding your senses.

UGH.

and he really does do it every single fucking day. he brings you coffee and he annoys you and he makes your eyes roll so hard you almost go blind and you hate to admit that he's kinda cute... it's whatever.

back to the coffees. so one of them is for you – he knows your order because he dug out the receipt from your bag when you weren't looking on his second day there. he almost got caught, too. but he only did that because you didn't wanna tell him your order!! and he was so insistent on bringing you coffee that he just had to find another way. he loved the way your eyes widened and how you tried to mask your surprised expression but nothing gets past his keen eyes. when you asked how he did it, he just told you that he guessed it. yeah, right....

the second coffee is for him. it's an insanely sweet latte. how do you know? he made you try it. more liked begged for you to try it. you also hate to admit that his puppy-dog eyes worked on you... he only drinks the special latte from the corner coffee shop and he refuses to drink the office "coffee". he's fancy like that.

the third coffee is for his second favourite coworker – kento nanami! they sure make an interesting pair. kento is the main reason why satoru even got the job. the latter begged him to pitch for him to the boss; he was so excited by the concept of Office Work and just had to try it out. he, of course, passed the interview with flying colors and kento regrets his decision to "help" him out in the first place. satoru yaps his ears off whenever he isn't doing the same to you and he's constantly leaving little notes for the man. you once saw one and it just had a miniature penis drawn on it. very mature.

and the fourth coffee is for your boss. satoru isn't sucking up like you originally thought he was. you think he just wants to bring her coffee? your boss is cool – she's in her forties and she has a strong voice, everybody always listens to her and she really does make for a very good boss. your guess is that satoru has a crush on her. (you're wrong. he also just thinks she's super fucking cool. literally nothing else to it.)

he's always wearing a fancy white button-up with a black tie loosely hanging around his neck and a pair of matching black slacks that hug his thighs so nicely that the women and the men of the office are always finding it hard to not stare at them. he gets an obnoxious ego boost from this.

he's constantly leaning on other people's desks, pushing his hips out and it really is hard to concentrate whenever he does it. the pose and the smug smirk he sends you when he catches you looking is making you feel hot. he always catches you too, it's so annoying. why can't he just continue doing whatever he's doing so you can admire him in peace?

he's loud, he's annoying and he's so fucking good at his job that firing him couldn't even be a passing thought. he actually does his paperwork rather fast; often finishing before you and that gives him the time to tease you for being slow. he does that way less than you expected though. only a few times in a day – enough to annoy you but never enough to actually make you upset or angry. he actually helps you sometimes. he can tell you don't wanna ask and he doesn't wanna make you feel bad - he'd rather watch you roll your pretty eyes at his stupid jokes with a small hidden smile than roll them with a deep frustrated sigh. he learned that the hard way.

he loves your smile. more often than not you can't keep the straight face you try to put up with him, making your loud laughter resonate throughout the whole office. oh, how his eyes shine at that.

long story short. he's infuriating. he's funny. he's way too good at his job. he's way too handsome. you loathe working with him and yet, you can't stop smothering him in kisses whenever you two "happen" to meet in the printer room.

[arjudy224]

Chemical Valley

(The Intern x Red Hood)

After the unsettling reminder of her past, Y/N has been avoiding vigilantes for the last few months. However, Dr. Harris has requested backup in the form of Gotham's newest crime lord. What could go wrong?

The Intern Collection:

Prequel: Death of a family

The Intern: Day one

The Intern: The Laughing Fish

The Intern: Busy Work

The Intern: Outreach Gala

The Intern: Teachers Pet

The Intern: Visiting an old friend

The Intern: Chemical Valley

The Intern: Billionaire Boys Club

I'm getting real sick of risking my life for a minimum-wage job. Driving around with Dr. Harris is one thing, but since when did the job description list teaming up with crime lords? I mean it's the Red Hood for Christ's sake. Dr. Harris gives me a protective smile from the driver's seat.

"Don't worry about Red Hood. He knows what he's doing." He starts sensing my apprehension. "Besides, he owes me a favor."

I nod with a nervous smile. Red Hood is the only vigilante that I've never interacted with. He only recently appeared in Gotham. From what I've heard on the streets, he isn't exactly on great terms with Batman.

"All due respect... hasn't he killed people? " I question glancing around the lonely alleyway.

Growing silent, Harris contemplates his response.

"Not recently." He says with what is supposed to be a comforting pat on the shoulder.

Trying to ignore the anxiety creating knots across my gut, I reply with more enthusiasm than I feel.

"Oh well... that's progress."

Harris laughs.

"It's Gotham dear. It's hard to find someone who hasn't committed murder. I wouldn't worry too much about the Hood though. If you can befriend Waylon, a little boy in a helmet is the least of your worries. "

I raise an eyebrow.

"You wanna elaborate?"

He smiles sweetly. I narrow my eyes.

"Don't ask questions that you don't want to know the answers to."

That shuts me up. We sit in silence for a few minutes while I contemplate what he just said. Dr. Harris isn't exactly wrong... Glancing at the time clock on the dashboard, I frown. I guess vigilantes aren't known for being punctual, but at least Nightwing was on time. Considering our history, maybe we were both eager to see each other again. I try to focus on the cool air dusting across my face.

A swift knock causes me to jump. The infamous Red Hood almost cartoonishly waves at me from the outside the window. My nervous heart patters like a hummingbird. Eyeing his bike, I sigh. It was silent... Of course, it was silent. What kind of muffler does he have on that thing?

Harris rolls down the window.

"Good morning. Thank you for meeting us."

Leaning on the car door, Red Hood asks in a deep voice

"What do you have for me Dr.?"

"Routine inspection of Ace chemicals. Normally, I wouldn't worry about having a backup, but with an uptick in Joker sightings... I figured it would be better to be safe than sorry."

Hood nods, then glances in my direction.

"I'll keep an eye out."

"Y/N L/N," I say introducing myself, "But most people call me L/N."

"Weren't you the one who convinced the Riddler to let you go in exchange for inspecting his lair for asbestos?" Hood asks with a tone of pride.

I smile while shaking his hand. Word must get around quick.

"Yeah, that's me. He didn't even ask me any riddles. The poor man was terrified."

Dr. Harris whips his head around.

"Why haven't I heard about this?" He demands.

I flash him a shit-eating grin.

"Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to Dr. Maybe Metropolis hasn't made me so soft after all."

Before he can start lecturing me, I step out of the car to face my new bodyguard. Keeping my eyes trained on the ground. I sidestep the hulking mammoth of a man.

"Thank you for dropping me off Dr., but I'm sure "Little" Red and I can take it from here."

From the Driver's seat, Harris watches me with a hint of pride.

"This is not the last time we will be discussing this."

"I look forward to the debrief," I remark as he pulls away.

The ACE chemicals manufacturing plant towers over the surrounding buildings. The smoke stacks excrete a dark sticky aerosol that trickles down from above. Its gothic structure makes it look like something out of a Tim Burton film. Taking a step near the external shutter, I drag my index finger across. My glove smears a damp power off revealing the old white paint. An uncomfortable sensation settles in my chest.

There is no way this amount of air pollution is legal.

After my second round of coughing, Red Hood offers me a disposable face mask. I gratefully take it. The neon green sign serves as a haunting reminder that somehow this has passed inspection. My eyebrows furrow. We passed several kids on the way here. What does that do to someone? No wonder Dr. Harris mentioned childhood asthma. I'm more concerned about the long-term exposure to industrial solvents.

Glancing at Red Hood, I state

"There is no way this is legal."

Hood stays quiet for a moment. Adjusting his helmet, he replies

"The law can be anything you want as long as you kill the inspectors who challenge you."

My mouth falls open. A thousand questions flood my mind.

"Somebody must have tried."

Hood tilts his head while glancing between us and the doors.

"Somebody did try."

Tossing me a key card over his shoulder, he continues, "You can visit them in Arkham if you want."

I flounder to catch the key card. It takes a few moments to register his words. Them as in more than one? Or is he concealing their identity? By the time my brain focuses, I stand in the alley alone staring up at a sign for a trading card company.

Isn't that where the Joker.... Oh hell no...

Stumbling through the stained doors, a bubbly man contrasts the bleak external welcome. As he rambles, I analyze the faded posters nailed to the wall. Dr. Harris briefly mentioned the factory's history of producing bioweapons during the Second World War. Hazardous feels like an understatement. I nodd along with the pleasant man, yet something in my gut tells me to keep my eyes and ears open.

Walking past a dust cloud, my lungs contract. Unable to steady myself, I sneak down a back hall to take my inhaler. The rambling man continues down the other hallway completely oblivious to my absence. I tear the disposable mask off my face. Searching my pockets for the familiar medication, my heart drops. Of course, I left it in the car.

I sink into a seated position once the dizziness sets in. Do. Not. Panic. We cannot do that again. No more emergency room trips. A pair of boots emerges from the shadows.

"Are you alright?"

I nodd while focusing on each labored breath.

"Sometimes, I really hate this city." I wheeze clutching my chest.

Red Hood lets out a dry laugh before taking a seat next to me.

"I have something that might help, but you have to trust me."

A small inhaler makes its way into my left hand. Squinting, a small Bat engraving stares up at me. I give him an incredulous glance. There is no fucking way that Batman has a pharmacy.

"It works. I promise."

Reluctantly, I take two puffs. We sit in silence for a few minutes. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. I relish the first full breath of air in days. My lungs expand completely. It is glorious.

"How is your friendship with Killer Croc?"

The immense pain that weighs on my chest lessens slightly.

"I'm sure Waylon wouldn't use the word friend. "

I open my eyes to look at him. Spots litter my vision. The sticky residue has left grime all over his mask. I hesitate.

"Waylon has lost everything... Everyone really. All he really needed was a friend."

Hood stays silent weighing out my words.

"What factory did they make you in?" He questions.

I can almost hear a smile in his voice.

"The same one that kicked you out for defects." I retort staring at the white paint peeling on the far left wall.

Considering the age of this building, I really hope that's not lead paint.

"Touché, Ms. Friendship. Touché"

I give him a friendly shove.

"You know, you aren't as bad as your reputation suggests."

He laughs climbing to his feet.

"I wouldn't go that far. Usually, I'm a dick."

"Better a dick than a sociopath," I say dusting off the black power on my pants.

"Damn Metropolis. Who have you been talking to?"

I shrug.

"It's Gotham. "

After a few moments of comfortable silence, he asks

"You ready to find Mr. Optimistic?"

I nodd allowing him to pull me to my feet. Enjoying the comfortable silence, I open the door for him once we make it down the hall. To my surprise, Red Hood slams me against a wall before covering my mouth. Paralyzed in shock, I don't fight him. The Red Bat insignia stares at me. The soft aroma of his cologne catches me off guard. It's nice. Very musky. There's something so... familiar about it. I suddenly feel my face go red. There is no way I am evaluating how good a CRIMINAL smells. Get a grip girl.

Ignoring my mental crisis, Red Hood leads the two of us out the back door. Stumbling out the door behind him, I bend over holding my knees for stability. This is a lot of cardio for a regular inspection.

"What the hell was that about dude?" I hiss in between breaths.

Red Hood doesn't say anything.

"I know you are trying for the strong and silent type, but I think this partnership would benefit from open communication."

Standing up tall, a gunman aims a pistol directly at my temple.

Oh.. That's why.

Tag list: @nosyrobin, @jjsmeowthie, @epicy0n,@gaychaosgremlin, @rory-cakes, @luna-zendra-star

[phoenixyfriend]

Concept: Santa has a memory-modifying machine and that's why parents are never suspicious of the extra presents under the tree.

[I may or may not write this as a proper story some day but in case I don't, have a look]

They all just have an implanted memory of buying it themselves. For people who are in poverty and struggling, this means that Santa does have to limit himself to 'realistic' gifts, but if a kid would be happy with a really cool puzzle or some candy they're not usually able to get, it's easy to frame that in the memory as "Oh yeah, I think I saw that they were giving away bags of this chocolate for any purchase over $20, so I grabbed an extra can of beans" or something.

If a kid's been really good, he can add some sort of "Parents entered a giveaway" memory for a bigger present, but too many of those might arouse suspicion.

Also possible is localized charities that get a lot of "anonymous" gifts that are actually from Santa.

And the volunteers that 'decide' which gift goes where are undercover elves who are making sure the presents end up with the kids who really want them.

@threebea said:

The rule with Santa is if an "adult" is aware of the magic he loses his power which is why he needs to go to lengths to make himself seem like a hybrid of commercialization and religion. He will definitely do other things if he has no justifiable way of getting something to a kid who doesn't get presents from their parents for whatever reason. Can range from extra luck like vending machine gave doubles or bus actually waited. He will reward goodness of children it might not be as much as he would like but he does what he can to continue being able to do it. He can't go as hard as he would like because too big and even memory modification won't be enough but he will try to get away with big stuff.

This kid was so good that he is rigging an xbox giveaway for them.

There's an elf that has to be like: No no, that's too big. Santa: I can spin it I can spin it. Santa also has a heist team to do the rigging of big ticket items. Sometimes they'll just set up a fake contest but sometimes they're like: This is our window, operation BMX is a go. Elf: There are not enough contests in this small town to justify this, Santa. You need to make a choice. Santa: Rich guy who wants to do Christmas miracle for children? Elf: You get one a year you wanna use that card? Santa: [narrows eyes] …. Two but in different countries Elf: This is not a negotiation. Santa: I feel like it is.

Exhausted second in command trying to keep Santa within the realm of reason but this jolly old man wants to be doing good so much.

Vigilante-ism

Vigisanty-ism Santa: We could haunt Jeff Bezos we haven't done that in awhile. Elf: No one will ever believe it don't be greedy.

[genderqueerdykes]

being butch really isn't a choice for most of us (if any). it's not something that you like, wake up one day and decide yea, i wanna be a cool tough dyke or that you wanna be fit and rugged or something. we're just kinda born a little different. we're just Like That. other people tend to notice way before we do, and by the time we do, we have a lot of work in undoing society's hatred of masculine women & queer people. we were the he-she, the it, the thing, the That, the "not a real girl" but "not a boy" either, the "what is that?", the "ma'am? sir? i can't tell." not a woman, not a man, just a sight to behold, a question poised waiting at the tip of a tongue.

all of these things are something to be proud of, but we have to fight for that pride. when you see a tough butch who struggles to get close to people and acts tough to protect themself, just know that it's because being butch is a hard life. it's like having a target on your back that you can never remove. we aren't tough because we want to look cool, be suave, or seduce women. we walk a dangerous place in life. we have to protect ourselves first and foremost. this is the source of butch toughness. we're gender outlaws.