#but it's always special to be asked to think more deeply about why you include something that feels sort of obvious to you

[winteriron-trash]

rdj the (whitewashed) electric boogaloo

This is a reminder to everyone who's excited about RDJ's casting as Doctor Doom that this casting is whitewashing. Victor Von Doom is a Romani character and has been a Romani character since his introduction in the 1960s. (Fantastic Four Annual #2 [1964]) Not only that, but his Roma identity and the persecution he and his family faced due to it is integral to his character, it is what forms his identity. (Books of Doom by Ed Brubaker) Even if on the off chance this casting is meant to not be Victor but instead be some variant of Tony or whomever else becoming Doctor Doom, it is damaging to the character to rob him of that important cultural background. Doctor Doom does not exist without that history. Fans have been pushing hard to cast Doom as a Romani actor for years, especially since the MCU has whitewashed other Romani characters. (Wanda, Pietro, etc) This casting is not a celebration moment, it's fucking heartbreaking that the MCU repeatedly ignores the important and nuanced cultural backstories of characters.

I know I can't change anybody's mind on whether or not you want to be excited about RDJ's return to the MCU. But I do think at the very least you should be mad that the MCU is baiting us all and destroying nuanced and interesting characters for the sake of self-referential easter eggs and nostalgia bait. Because that's what it is. Feel how you'd like to feel about RDJ's return, but personally, this is soul-sucking. I had such a deep love for the MCU as a teenager, it was obviously something incredibly formative to me, especially Tony Stark. This isn't recreating what I fell in love with the MCU for. This is turning a well-planned and artistic storyline of adaptations into cheap cash grabs and fan service. Because, I think we're past the point of being able to call the MCU an adaptation of anything. They can use existing characters' names and powers, but to say they're being properly adapted is laughable.

This is not an adaptation of Doctor Doom. This is RDJ the Electric Boogaloo because Marvel's fear of losing the interest of dedicated MCU fans overrides their willingness to tell stories that are genuine to the characters. I don't know what there is to be excited about that. The MCU has lost its authenticity and aside from a few projects, feels heartless. Every movie is a copy of a copy. This announcement isn't something celebratory, it feels like a death knell of a cinematic universe that's so desperate to cling to relevancy it's resorting to nostalgia for a character/actor who hasn't even been dead for a decade. We're not getting anything new, we're just rinsing and repeating the same song and dance.

I get it. I love Tony Stark, his death destroyed me and I to this day, rue the ending he got in Endgame. It misunderstood his arc and it robbed him of a satisfying conclusion. But the solution to that isn't dragging the corpse out of the grave five years later to whitewash an existing character with rich and interesting nuance, just to forcibly tie his existence in the MCU to Tony. Whether he is a variant or not. Why would you want someone else's fave's legacy to be destroyed simply so your fave's legacy can go on? Hell, if we were really all so hellbent on the return of RDJ and/or Tony to the MCU, we have the multiverse for a reason. There were other ways to do it that didn't whitewash and ruin someone else. This just. Isn't something to be happy about.

[hephaestiions]

i just read when you unfold me and really loved it, i've been following your work since dinner and diatribes and this felt like it had the same vibe. you write drarry so tenderly... i was wondering where that comes from? your characters aren't very OOC but tenderness isn't something i expect from canon draco or harry at all

thank you for the kind words, anon, i'm glad you enjoyed when you unfold me!

interesting question, and the first thing that came to mind was that— well— i'm so tender towards this ship. i think that bleeds. i really adore these characters, where in life canon leaves them (ignoring the epilogue) and how i feel their dynamic progresses from there.

but, other than that, look— when it comes to writing h/d, you're always working with two people who have never, never, for seven years, been able to fall out of each other's orbit. canon leaves you with the raw, torn edges of a complicated dynamic that never satisfyingly resolves itself, that barely even acknowledges itself as anything to be resolved, and you have all this passion, rage, history, hurt, layered forgiveness and contempt which effectively amounts, within the narrative, to nothing. and that's usually always my starting point in thinking about a fic (even if i'm writing years-later established relationship like with d&d)— you have all this simmering, spilling intensity between them— where does it go? what does it become? every h/d narrative is a different answer to that question.

and i guess, to answer you— all of that, for me, sublimates in a post-war environment, eventually into tenderness. there is too much there to not become, in an environment of encounter, this scorching, massive, terrifying thing— and what, for war-hardened boys, or men, or what-have-you, burns brighter or is bigger or scarier than opening yourself up to touch and trust? i think canon, when taken seriously, gives us a harry & draco who are capable of and have seen untold brutality; i guess my fics try (and wyum most explicitly) to capture the idea that post-war, they're comfortable with and wary of brutality in mirroring ways, they go to seek it out, they expect it in each other and encounter something entirely alien and totally familiar. tenderness is brutal because brutal, ultimately, is a value-neutral word, yes, ravaging, intense, blunt-force transformative, but that doesn't always leave you bleeding on a bathroom floor.

i don't think i necessarily achieve all this commentary in my fics, i'm too caught up in writing porn in the shorter stuff & Other Things in anything longer. but if i think about how i approach tenderness, beyond, say, the surface of i'd really like to see these two taking care of each other, this is what i have.

[kingkaizen]

𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱𝓮𝓻

∘ desc: although things are going great with your boyfriend nanami, sometimes you think he's too nice in bed. who better to ask for some pointers than from nanami's opposite, gojo satoru <3

∘ ft: nanami & gojo

∘ word count: 2.7k

∘ includes: voyeurism, threesome, pussy slaps, spanking, face fucking, edging, dacryphilia, dirty talk

Nanami is the best boyfriend that you’ve ever had.

No matter everything that you’ve been through together in the last three years, nothing has ever made you doubt the amount of love you had for each other. You absolutely adored everything about him. After being friends for years before getting together, it wasn’t hard to fall so deeply in love with the man that he’s become. Being able to come home to him is everything that you’ve ever wanted and more.

But, of course, all relationships come with their issues.

When Nanami received a message from you saying that you had to talk, his heart immediately dropped. What could he have done wrong? Was today a special day that he forgot about? Did he accidentally leave the toilet seat up? What could possibly be it? He rushed home from work, unlocking the front door to see you sitting on the couch.

“Is everything okay?” Nanami questioned, slipping his shoes off and placing them neatly on the floor along with pinning his coat on the rack. “Your text worried me.”

“No, Kento. Everything is fine, I promise, come sit with me.” You gestured to the cushion next to yours, trying to keep him calm. You knew that texting him like that would elicit this concerned reaction, but what you’re about to say could not be said through a simple text message.

“Kento, when I say this to you, I need you to know that I love you so much and you are an amazing boyfriend okay?” Nanami nods his head slightly, eyebrows slowly coming together in complete anticipation of what’s about to come out of your mouth.

“I want you to start being rougher with me in bed.”

Finally coming out and saying it, you felt like a weight being lifted off of your chest. Nanami always treats you like glass, in and out of the bedroom. Although you love how gentle and loving he is with you, you need something more. You can’t help but think back to all of the times that he would come back home from work, irritated about something that happened. How good it would feel for him to take out those emotions on you. But, knowing your sweet boyfriend, that thought would never cross his mind. 

“Am I not satisfying you enough? I thought you enjoyed our intimate moments together…” Nanami responds, his brain thinking back to every single night you’ve spent together in the past. Why hasn’t he seen this before? Knowing that he hasn’t been satisfying you in the way that he thought hurt him much more than he was willing to admit right away.

“No, that’s not it at all. You know that you always make me feel good. I just want to change things up a bit, that’s all.” You placed an encouraging hand on his thigh, prompting him to look up at you. “I know you, Kento, don’t think too much into it. I love every moment that we have together, I just want us to try something different, that’s all.”

Nanami took in all of your words, making a pact to himself that he will change things for the better. He understands what you want, he’s just not sure how to fully give that to you. How he is in bed is exactly the way he is outside of that: sweet, loving, and overall just concerned. He would never forgive himself for hurting you in any capacity, so living up to your request will be a challenge for him. Who better to ask than his complete opposite in every single way?

“She wants you, Nanami Kento, to be rough?” Gojo almost can’t help but laugh at the thought. It’s not laughable because Nanami doesn’t have a rough side to him, Gojo of all people would know how it feels to be on the opposite end of that. The funny part is that he can’t imagine him being rough towards you. Even from an outsider looking into your relationship, anyone could see how he treats you.

“I didn’t tell you this so that you could laugh at me, Satoru, I’m asking for your help.” This request from Nanami also humored Gojo. Finally, after all of these years, Nanami is actually voluntarily asking for his help.

“How exactly do you expect me to help you? Do you need me to demonstrate?” Gojo laughed as he said this, waiting for Nanami to show some sort of disagreement in his face.

That look never came.

“That is actually exactly what I want you to do. I know the type of history that you two have, I’m not an idiot. All of these years since we’ve all been friends before we started dating, I would see the way you would look at each other. I know that there is chemistry there and I wouldn’t be surprised if you have been intimate before.” Nanami looked at Gojo, seriousness etched across his face. “I want you to show me how to treat her the way that she wants to be, I only want her to be happy.” As much as Nanami hates to admit when Gojo is better than him in any sort of way, he knows the truth when it comes to this. He sees how other women have fawned over him, and it must be for good reason.

“I’ll teach you how to fuck her like a slut.”

The sight of two shirtless men is enough to excite anyone. After telling Nanami what was on your mind, this is the last thing that you expected him to do. Of course he brought this up to you before this moment, always wanting to ensure your comfort. It was hard to disagree, you’ve been with Gojo years prior but it was never anything serious. Always flings, Gojo was never the “relationship type”. 

“So gorgeous, my love.” Nanami always admired how ethereal you looked, both in and out the bedroom. He caressed your face, planting soft yet firm kisses on your lips, growing more and more passionate by the second. Gojo was sitting on the chair in the corner of the room, watching with an intense gaze. You would think that having another man watching the two of you would freak you out, but it weirdly turned you on. Gently, as always, Nanami laid you down on the mattress, fingers finding their way to your covered breasts, exposing them to his hungry mouth. After moving the fabric, his lips puckered around your nipple, tongue pushing on the hardened nub as you ran your fingers through his hair.

“Kento, I need you so bad.” You whimpered, the impatient side of you coming out already. You know Nanami, you know that it doesn’t take much begging to get what you want. You know how bad he wants you too, he can’t help but fully oblige to every word you say.

“I know honey, I’m going to give it to you.” Nanami had no self control when it came to you. Gojo rolls his eyes in the corner, finally making his presence known.

“Nanami, you can’t let her talk to you like that.” Gojo slowly began to touch his growing bulge through his pants. “It’s like you already forgot everything I told you.” He stood up and walked towards the two of you, Nanami moving to the side. Gojo gently gripped your chin, turning your head to look him dead in his eyes.

“If you want something from him, you’re going to have to earn it.”

You nodded your head, his authoritative tone sending a wave of pleasure throughout your body. Following his discrete directions, you kneeled in front of your boyfriend, fingers playfully toying with the zipper in his pants as you pulled it down along with the rest of it. You kissed his hard length through the last piece of fabric still left on his body, looking up at him through your lashes.

“D-Don’t tease me like that, (y/n)”. Nanami loved this obedient side of you, even if he wasn’t the reason you were acting this way. Before he could even process, Gojo lightly tapped the side of your ass, sending a slight sting throughout your body.

“Tease him like that again and you’re gonna have to make yourself cum. Now say sorry.” Gojo threatened, backing away once again to see how this unfolds. By now, he has fully released himself from the confines of his pants, fingers wrapping around his girth as he slowly began to pleasure himself at the sight.

“I’m sorry.” You looked up at Nanami once more, pulling away the last piece of clothing separating your awaiting mouth from his leaking tip. 

“I’m sorry what?” Gojo sneered.

“I’m sorry sir.” Your pleading voice made Nanami groan, watching as you finally began to wrap your lips around the tip of his cock. You began to put your tongue to work, swirling it around his head while keeping your lips firmly around the top, sucking in. Nanami could tell that you were still in a teasing mood, refusing to go any lower than that. Suddenly, you could feel his hand find its way to the back of your head, forcing you to let more of him in. Nanami would never do something like this normally, his forcefulness with you turning you on tremendously. Gojo laughed, approving of Nanami’s sudden confidence boost. It’s arousing to him too, watching you take all of him so deep in your mouth, gagging on his length as he throws his head back.

“That’s it, take it all.” Nanami grunts, “I love how messy you look, choking on me like that.” He could feel you moan around his length at his words, thighs rubbing together in anticipation of what’s to come. “I know how wet you are already, if you want some help you have to ask for it okay?” 

No matter what, Nanami is still always keeping your needs in mind, noticing how soaked you're starting to become. He removes himself from inside your mouth, allowing you to fully breathe. You look so beautiful, tears threatening to spill from your lash line and saliva coating around your mouth. He helps you back up to your feet, leading your body to lay backwards onto the bed, callused fingers catching any tears that manage to slip. “Tell me what you want.”

Your gaze moved from his eyes over to Gojo. “I want you both. Please sir, just touch me.” You felt pathetic as you begged, your core pulsing with need. You’ve never felt this sensitive before, everything feeling that much more intense given how hungry the two men in your presence are. 

“Aww, what a little slut you are.” Gojo grinned, making his way closer to you. “What do you think Nanami, has she been a good girl for us? Should we give her what she wants?” Gojo’s fingers began to rub on the outside of your panties. “Look at how wet she is for us.” Gojo showed Nanami your slick on his fingers, watching it glisten underneath the lowlight. 

“I think she has been a good girl.” Nanami smiles at you, so proud of how well you’ve been doing for them. “Go ahead, Gojo, you can touch her.”

“Finally.” Gojo quickly moved your panties to the side, the coolness of his touch catching you off guard as he teased the inside of your folds. “You don’t understand how torturous it was watching you without being able to touch you yet.” He makes quick work of finding your clit, slowly rubbing his thumb on your pearl as he watches you begin to writhe underneath. “Don’t forget why you’re here slut. You wanted to be treated like this so bad and now you got it. Beg for it.”

“P-Please Satoru, please touch me. I can’t take it anymore, I need it so bad.” You pleaded, beginning to feel helpless underneath him. Gojo smirked, plunging his slender fingers inside of you unexpectedly. You felt your body arch up in surprise, a gasp leaving your mouth as pleasure began to consume your body.

“So fucking greedy.” Gojo began slowly at first, catching a rhythm. “Look at how she’s drenching my fingers.” Nanami rubs himself at the sight, growing impatient. You’re too far gone to notice, feeling your own orgasm already beginning to slowly creep up in intensity. Before you know it, you're cumming all around his fingers, eyes rolling to the back of your head. Gojo quickly pulls his fingers out, not doing anything to help you ride it out. “Who told you that you could cum?” He taps his hand against your pussy repeatedly, watching you moan in a mix of pleasure and pain and you slowly come down from your high. “What a fucking whore.”

“I’m sorry sir, I couldn’t -fuck- I couldn’t help it.” You sob, looking at Nanami. You’ve never seen him look so angry. He didn’t say anything to you, only twirling his finger around, motioning for you to flip over. You quickly follow his que, not wanting to do anything to tick him off further. You can’t fully process that this is happening, your Nanami actually treating you this way.

You fucking loved it.

You felt his familiar touch rub over your ass as you got on all fours, arching your back slightly. He groaned at the sight of your wetness, glistening core almost calling out to him. He rubbed his tip against your folds, feeling your hole try to suck him in. Meanwhile, Gojo is sucking your juice off of his fingers, loving the taste of you.

“Get on with it Nanami, if she wants to be punished so badly then so be it.” Gojo made his way in front of you, rubbing the tip of his cock against your plush lips. “We told you what would happen if you didn’t listen, right? You have to be a bit smarter than that sweetheart.” The syrupy tone of his voice didn’t match his actions as he parted your lips with his head, feeling you wrap your lips against his girth. With that, Nanami finally pushed himself all the way in, moaning in unison along with you. Gojo could feel the vibrations of your moans against him.

Nanami gave you no time to adjust, pounding his entire length into you with such force that caused your mouth to hang open in shock. You felt so good, brain completely fogged over with no thoughts other than the complete monster that Nanami has become. He’s never fucked you like this, usually preferring soft thrusts over the hard pounding that he’s subjecting yourself to now. You suddenly felt a sharp slap on your ass, his large hand rubbing the sting away almost just as quickly as he placed it.

“Don’t ignore Gojo now, honey. I thought a slut like you would love to have two thick cocks filling you up this way?” Nanami questioned, picking up the pace which made it so much harder for you to focus. Gojo wasn’t having that. He placed one hand on each side of your face, holding it in place for him to thrust his hips against you. His cock filled your mouth, spit sloshing everywhere as your face got messier and messier.

“Fuck (y/n), you’re doing so fucking good for us princess.” Gojo moaned, the sounds coming from the room overwhelmed his senses. The bed creaking, you struggling to take Nanami while also pleasuring Gojo, and the sound of Nanami’s balls slapping against your ass sounded like music to his ears. Nanami couldn’t believe how hot this all was, feeling as your walls began to quiver around him.

“You’re gonna cum again baby?” Nanami asked, gripping your hips tighter as he felt himself get even closer. Gojo was already almost there, hips beginning to stutter as he watched you cry out. All you could do is whimper in response, the knot in your stomach growing tighter and tighter. Nanami made it there first, his thrusts becoming more erratic as he spilled himself inside of you. Ropes of cum flooded in as he fully pressed himself against you, beads of sweat threatening to drip off his nose. Gojo soon followed, shooting his load into your mouth as you took it all.

“Such a good girl.” Gojo mused, wiping the side of your mouth when he finished. He proceeded to kiss you, tasting himself on your tongue. Nanami pulled himself out slowly, watching in delight as his seed slowly dripped out of you. You whimpered at the now empty feeling, your orgasm slowly starting to retreat.

“You’re not going to finish me off?” You angrily turned to Nanami, watching the smirk begin to creep up his face.

“Not unless you beg for it.”

© kingkaizen | do not copy, steal, or duplicate!

[obae-me]

How He Kisses

Hey there, so things are...kinda awful right now, and while I don't want to fully distract myself from my other works I'm chipping away at, I did want to post something a bit short and sweet to hopefully- well, saying "to make everyone feel better" feels sort of self-inflated, but if I can make everyone stop and think about something happy for just one second, that's more than I can ask for. I have no idea how similar this is to my hug headcanon ones. Not really checked for too many errors, this was all kind of done in the spur of the moment, but I don't think that matters too much.

Lucifer

Proper and slow. He likes being patient, kissing you once before pulling back to look at your face. He feels a sense of Pride when he can see the effect he has on you, knowing that he can comfort you like this. He's a perfectionist, he likes the whole experience to be included. That's why he likes to do it more often when you two are alone, knowing he has the freedom to do whatever it takes to make this moment perfect. Whether it's music, a lit fireplace, over a dinner, under the comfort of a blanket, everything is set up for you. To show his love for you, nothing less than high quality will be accepted. The kiss is simply the bow that ties everything together. And he'll take his time to relish in this moment with you.

Mammon

Fervent and greedy. He cannot contain his love for you. Even around his brothers, he lets it slip. So when you find yourselves alone, it's like pulling the lid off a stuffed container. Your eyelids, your ears, your forehead, cheeks, chin, lips, none of them shall be spared in his spree. It's almost frantic, as if he doesn't get as many now, he'll never have them again. He craves all of you, and he wants to be only yours in equal measure. Love, soul, attention, all of it is for you. It's as if he has to make up the seconds lost whenever you're apart. He never wants it to end. He hardly breathes. Every one is just as good as the last, and he is focused on making it just as wonderful an experience for you as well. After all, he wants you to be greedy too. Tell him your every desire.

Levi

Eager and grateful. Push past the anxiousness and the self-doubt, and you find a Levi that adores you more than anything. Like an ultra rare drop he can't get anywhere else. If he can stand in line for days for something he wants, he will stand with you till the end of time. His kisses show that, how deeply in love he is for you. Given the chance, he has the confidence to prove to you how special you are to him. Every kiss gets him more excited than the last, and in turn, he's determined to do whatever it takes to make you feel just as joyous as he is in these moments. Thank you for being here with him, your presence means more to him than you currently know, and he'll spare no effort to start showing you that.

Satan

Meek and curious. Whether or not it is considered if he's kissed someone before, every time he kisses you, it feels like the first time. He almost always has a distant look on his face, as if he's thinking about a million other things at the same time, and every million of those thoughts is something about you. He learns something new every time and commits it to memory. Which way your head naturally tilts, where you prefer his hands to be, how many you like, how long they take, he's going to remember them all. Well, he says that, but oftentimes its as if his mind wipes after every kiss. It's hard to think during those moments. But he's not worried about it, that just means he'll have to keep going. He has no plans to leave your side anytime soon after all.

Asmo

Uplifting and addictive. He likes to kiss for every occasion, every emotion. Happy? Kiss. Excited? Kiss? Sad? He says he saves his best kisses for those moments especially. Maybe it's shared love that makes his kisses almost tingle, or maybe its some kind of magic. It makes you feel light. And he'll give you as many as you want. He adores kissing you, not able to get enough of it. It's as though he's almost on clockwork, having to give you an embrace at perfect intervals throughout the day. He can't get enough of you, and he can't help but get giddy at the thought of running to your side and letting you know exactly just how much he loves you.

Beel

Warm and encompassing. Gluttony often gets mixed up with Greed, but this is one of those instances where the differences are clear. Every kiss is slow, and feels as if it lasts several lifetimes. It's as if he's drinking you in, savoring this moment in it's entirety. Of course he'll come in for seconds, and thirds, and fourths, but it comes steadily. Something about his kisses fills you with a warmth that's hard to describe, similar to soup or a hot beverage seeping through every part of your body to endure the coldest of days. It makes your toes curl like they're in warm socks. It makes you feel as if nothing can get to you. And with him around, nothing will.

Belphie

Soft and persistent. No amount of drowsiness can stop him. Even if he's asleep, the demon that will normally sleep like the dead will wake himself up and make sure to give you a kiss. They're so gentle, and it's difficult to tell if its tied to his personality, or if he's afraid of hurting you. Sometimes they're as light as a feather, almost tickling you. If you're falling asleep, they'll never wake you, only guiding you towards sweeter dreams. With every movement you make, you'll almost recognize the sensation of his kisses. They're like a promise, an assurance, that even in the deepest darkest of dreams, he's right there. They always lull you into a sense of peace.

[zepskies]

Hi, how are you?

I was wondering if you could write something like "Dean reads you wrong" but with Sam Please

Hey, lovely!

I'm doing well, thank you. 💜 I hope you are too! Hmm, I'm still working through my current bank of requests, but since "Dean reads you wrong" is so fresh, it got me thinking about how Sam would go about this...

Pairing: Sam Winchester x F. Reader

Summary: It's hard for Sam to admit he wants you...when he thinks you might want his brother.

Song Inspo: "If You're Gone" by Matchbox Twenty

Word Count: 1,600 Tags/Warnings: Fluff, angst, fear of unrequited love, mutual pining

Imagine: Sam reads you wrong.

When Sam falls for someone, he's...well, what he would call self-aware.

But also cautious.

He knows his own track record with women. He knows the life he leads, and has resigned himself to giving up most kinds of normalcy or domesticity.

And maybe, a part deep in the back of his brain has given up on the idea of love.

That's why it's so damn confounding...how you've managed to take him by surprise.

He's always been able to rely on you. Whether it's sharing the brunt of the research with him when Dean loses focus, or staying up with Sam on late nights, sharing mugs of tea and quiet conversation, bonding over familiar tastes in books, and '90s grunge music, of all things.

You also confessed to him, late one night, that you have a growing collection of mugs, fuzzy socks, and vinyl records, despite the fact that your record player has collected more dust than the bunker's old storage room.

You're wonderfully weird.

And you're unfailingly loyal to who you consider "your people." And Sam thinks (knows) he's fortunate enough to be included in that small circle.

Sam also knows, deep in his gut, no matter how much he tries to "rationalize" it away, that you're special. And special to him.

You've managed to do more than just slip under his skin. When he thinks too hard on it, he can admit it (just to himself). You've infiltrated all four corners of his heart so deeply, he doesn't have a prayer of scooping you out.

Some days, it's all he can do not to reach out while you're chatting away, filling the silence.

He can picture it like a scene in his mind: of interrupting your mouth with a gentle hand on your cheek, tilting your face up to his and showing you, with or without words, that he wants you...

And yet.

He can't help but watch how you are with Dean.

You two tease each other, bicker and gripe over coffee grinds left in the coffee pot and who ate the last of the leftovers. You fight with Dean over the remote on movie night (once, damn near smothering him with a pillow).

But you also dote on him, making sure Dean has one of his favorite desserts every time you go out to buy groceries. You swap his beer out for water when he's not looking. (And though Dean frowns and grumbles, he doesn't argue with your raised brow and imploring look.)

It's not quite flirting, but it's not quite platonic either—at least in Sam's eyes. You and Dean seem to have something.

And sometimes, your playful banter with his brother makes Sam sick to his stomach.

Like today, when Sam’s sitting at the kitchen table reading while you're making a cup of tea. The silence between you two is amiable, like usual.

Sam steals a glance at you and has to smile.

"Going with purple polka dots today?" he asks.

You look over with knitted brows of confusion, until you follow his gaze. You laugh sheepishly and wiggle your toes through your fuzzy socks.

"The floor is cold as hell," you defend yourself.

Sam's smile deepens a fraction as he turns back to his book.

"They're cute," he adds.

You turn your face to hide your blush. The mild thunder of heavy boots announces Dean's presence as he pops into the kitchen.

"Oh good, you're cooking. What's for dinner?" he asks. You turn to give him a familiar narrowed look.

"Who says I'm cooking?" you counter.

"Well, you're doing something on the stove..." Dean peers over and catches a whiff of the concoction you're brewing. He grimaces. "Second thought, I'm good. That smells like ass, whatever it is."

You roll your eyes at him. "It's just green tea, Dean. You know, health?"

He levels a deadpan expression at you as he opens up the pantry.

"I see your 'health' and I raise you...Doritos," he says. He digs his hand into the bag he's just pilfered and crunches a mouthful in your face. You can't help but splutter a laugh and push Dean away.

"You're ridiculous. If you catch a heart attack at 50, don't come crying to me."

"Hey, at least I'll die happy."

"Oh, right. A silver lining there. I'd hate to see what your arteries look like," you tease.

"Has anyone told you that you're unsavory?" Dean asks, continuing to crunch with an open mouth.

You smirk. "Is that your way of calling me sweet?"

He snorts. "Sure, sweetheart. We'll call it that."

"You know, I'm not your sweetheart," you point out.

Dean discreetly glances his brother's way with a sly glint in his eyes. Sam doesn't see it; by now he's trying his damndest to keep his eyes in his book and ignore the way his stomach is clenching, chest tightening.

Dean shifts his attention back at you and reaches down to brush your chin with his thumb.

"Not yet, but you could be," he says, in a flirtatious edge that he's never quite taken with you.

You're wide-eyed for a moment. In the end, though, you choose to take it as teasing. You push his hand away and give him an annoyed look.

"God, you're such a clown. Order a pizza if you're that hungry," you rejoin, and you pour two mugs of freshly brewed tea. "I won't even bother offering you one."

"Nope," Dean says, popping the "p." He walks out of the kitchen, giving Sam a firm slap on the back. Sam coughs and shoots his brother a frown.

Dean has the gall to wink at him before he walks out. Like he's having his own little private joke.

Well, Sam isn't laughing. He stares down hard at his book. He tries to ignore everything he just heard and saw out of the corner of his eye.

It becomes too much. He takes up his book and heads out of the kitchen.

He just doesn't see the way you frown as he walks away. There you stand, left holding two mugs of tea for you and him.

Sam returns to his room for a while. He's not hiding. He's...reading.

There's a knock at his door, and if it's Dean, he swears he's going to open his mouth and tell his brother to leave him the hell alone, like he's some kind of moody teen.

But it's you.

"Hey," you greet, after the door creaks open. Sam softens.

"Hey," he says, clearing his throat. "What's up?"

"You," you reply. You bring him his hot mug of tea and set it down on the desk where he sits.

"Thanks," he says.

You nod and place your mug beside his (Lord of the Rings themed, of course), and cross your arms as you lean against his desk.

Sam turns toward you in his chair. His hands rest on his thighs. His gaze travels back up to your face as he tries to keep his neutral, but welcoming to whatever you want to ask him. (He buries his heart deep, as he instinctively does whenever you're near him.)

"You okay?" you ask. Your brows furrow the longer you gaze down at him. Just staring, like you know he's hiding something. Like you can see straight into him, into the shadows where he keeps most of his thoughts of you.

This is perhaps the only area of his life where he's a coward.

"Yeah, I'm good," Sam replies, in a tone that suggests, Why wouldn't I be?

You quirk a smile. "Why don't I believe you?"

Sam swallows. For once, he's not sure what to say to you.

"You know you can talk to me, right?" you say softly. You take a subtle step into his orbit, almost between his open legs. Your demeanor says that you'd gladly listen, do whatever he asked of you. Because you're just that kind.

Sam's mouth twitches upward. "I know. I'm fine, really."

"You're fine, or you're Winchester fine?" you raise a brow.

Sam chuckles then, showing a flash of his smile. It lightens you.

"Maybe a bit of the second one," he admits.

You smile and inch closer, resting a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah? Tell me," you say. Your voice is soft, but not quite a whisper.

It leads Sam to sigh. He grasps your hand where it lies on his shoulder. For a moment, he debates internally. He realizes then that Dean's antics earlier might've been more than just teasing. Maybe it was a subtle nudge—to stop wasting time.

Damn it, just do something, Sam thinks.

When you squeeze his hand back, it's just the small push he needs. He glances up at you.

Then he takes your hand and holds it between both of his, with care. He tugs you forward, surprising you as you step forward between his legs. Your mouth parts in soft surprise when he reaches a hand up to your cheek.

You still look surprised, blushing up to your ears, but you're not pulling away. In fact, your widened gaze moves from his eyes to his lips.

Sam smiles. He tugs you down to him and enacts a living daydream, finally kissing you with everything he has. Everything he’s had locked inside.

You respond to his mouth in kind; the subtle gasp of breath against his lips sharply cuts off as you sink into his kiss. Your trembling hand comes to his cheek, grazing the dull prickle of stubble. When your fingers dive into his hair next, it’s his turn to take a deep breath.

With each new kiss, he explores more of you. His hands find your waist, and he gathers you against his chest. You find purchase on his strong shoulders and give into the opportunity to straddle his hips, sitting in his lap while he continues to make your heartbeat wild in your chest.

Sam slows the kiss, only because his brain is starting to catch up with his heart. He wants to see your face, to make sure this is what you want.

He finds that and more when he looks up at you.

He brushes a strand of hair behind your ear, tenderly brushing his thumb against your cheek.

"Does that answer your question?" he asks, with a soft laugh. You join him and press your forehead against his.

"I don't know,” you tease. Your eyes are dancing, both with amusement and relief. Because your heart has wanted this for even longer than Sam's.

You lean back in to whisper close to his lips. “Maybe I need a little more clarity."

Sam takes you at your word.

AN: It's been a long time since I've written for Sam! 💜 I got in another request for him a while ago. I may dust that one off soon... Until then, let me know what you think of this!

(And don't worry. I didn't forget about the Soldier Boy imagine I promised. That will come out at the end of this week, most likely!)

Read Dean's version: "Dean reads you wrong."

Sam Winchester Masterlist

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[fuanteinasekai]

I made a script for special #23. It's not a scanlation, just a script you can match up if you have the Japanese raws but you're struggling with the translation.

I fudged the translation a bit so it would flow more naturally, but I promise it's nothing important. Just things like using natural English or removing the 3 million "apparently"s that Japanese requires because otherwise they think you sound psychic.

A couple of translation notes: I kept "Japanese confectionary" as "wagashi shop" because I thought it sounded too unnatural translated (and wagashi is sometimes used in English). Wagashi are traditional Japanese sweets including anything from those fancy flower things (nerikiri) to simpler dango. Wagashi are often served with green tea, which I think fits Tanuma's kind of traditional vibe. Manjuu is also wagashi.

I translated shinyuu (親友) as "close friend" because it flowed best and is pretty close to the literal translation. But if you ask a Japanese person to tell you what they would call their best friend, it's shinyuu. Shinyuu literally means "intimate friend" and refers to a friend you are particularly close to, who understands you deeply, and who you can count on in hard times (and vice versa). Japanese does not have a word that literally means "best friend," so you can technically have more than one shinyuu. But Japanese people don't tend to throw these words around lightly, so for a lot of people shinyuu refers to one's singular closest friend. It varies. You can specifically say "close friend above all others" or muni no shinyuu but you'd generally have some kind of reason for that.

There is also a term "daishinyuu" which is more clearly "very (most) close friend," but I don't think it fits the tone or characterization as it's more modern and informal. Also, part of the reason I was specifically waiting for shinyuu is because Natsume is so stubborn about using yuujin for literally everyone that almost anything would be a milestone, but shinyuu is the classic.

Obligatory comment that I am non-native and not advanced, so minor grain of salt, etc.

Page 1

Sensei: Honestly! How long is he going to make us wait? He was supposed to be here ages ago.

Natsume: It's hardly been three minutes, Sensei.

Sensei: Those few minutes could be a fatal error! If the fresh dango are sold out how are you gonna make it up to me?

Natsume: But really, maybe something

Tanuma: Natsume

Tanuma: Sorry! I didn't mean to make you wait.

Page 2

Natsume: Woah, you're so fluffy, Tanuma.

Tanuma: Ugh… "They said there's a cold front coming through today."

Natsume: Ahh, Shigeru-san said that, too.

Tanuma: I said I was fine but he wouldn't let me go without wearing it.

Natsume: Haha, the priest?

Tanuma: ….

[Tanuma's dad is a Buddhist priest. Ever since he was little, Tanuma has drawn a lot of concern, one way or another falling ill often, so his dad is always worrying and looking after him.]

Sensei: Alright, to the wagashi shop, then!

Tanuma: Can we take a little detour first?

Sensei: WHAT!?

Natsume: Of course, I don't mind. [What for? ]

Tanuma: Just some mail.

Natsume: Mail?

Tanuma: I want to send this—

Tanuma?: Ah

Page 3

[It's blowing away]

[That's—]

Tanuma: Natsume

Natsume: I… I got it.

Tanuma: Are, are you okay, Natsume?

Tanuma: That was so risky…..

Tanuma: —But… it was about to be blown toward the river…

Page 4

Tanuma: Thank you, Natsume.

[When it was blowing away I saw beautiful seasonal flowers carefully painted in watercolor and writing so dense it didn't suit them.]

Natsume: Is that a hand-painted postcard? Sorry, I didn't mean to look.

[Even I don't know why I thought this but]

[it looked]

[just like a love letter…]

Tanuma: Oh, this.

Tanuma: My dad wrote it.

Page 5

Tanuma: To my mom.

[Our friends don't really ask me much because of my family situation.]

[And they rarely talk about their own families in front of me.]

[It's the same for Tanuma.]

Tanuma: My mom is far way.

Natsume: …. Ah.

Page 6

Tanuma: Oh! By "far away" I mean actually far away.

Tanuma: She lives separately.

Tanuma: But that doesn't mean there's a bad relationship.

Tanuma: —How do I put this.

Tanuma: My mom has always been in poor health.

Tanuma: But when she got together with Dad

Tanuma: and had me, her health suddenly deteriorated….

Tanuma: When she was hospitalized, she started to get better little by little but when dad happily went to visit her—

Tanuma: her health failed again—

Tanuma: The doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong, so they though maybe my father's visits were causing her some kind of stress.

Tanuma: So there was trouble with my mother's side of the family for a while, but…

Page 7

Tanuma: Dad decided to move out for mom's sake but

Tanuma: Mom hated it and begged and made a huge fuss.

Tanuma: Mom is still in convalescence but she's a lot better now so sometimes I go visit her.

Natsume: —…

[Nyanko-sensei once told me]

[Tanuma's dad was accompanied by an ayakashi with divine power, so terrifyingly strong and capricious]

[if it were jealous of someone like a close relative…]

[The ayakashi I see are sometimes terribly unfair.]

Tanuma: So my dad

Tanuma: Sometimes writes letters like this.

[Just like a love letter]

Page 8

[Because she is dear, they cannot meet. Because they cannot meet, he pours his heart into it—]

Natsume: … Tanuma…

Sensei: Hmph. Don't you write?

Tanuma: Er. Me? … I had been writing but recently it's been hard to write back…

Natsume:—Huh, why?

Tanuma: … She keeps pestering me "send a photo, send a photo." … because I wrote something carelessly…

Natsume: …Photo…? What did you write carelessly?

Tanuma: —…

Tanuma: …—I made a close friend here.

A final note: Japanese frequently drops pronouns so you have to use context to determine who is doing what. The "because she is dear" bit has zero pronouns. That is, a more literal translation is something like "because dear, unable to meet, because unable to meet, pour heart into." You see the issue. At first I thought, given it follows "just [like] a love letter," that it was a more general description of love letters, but "unable to meet because one is dear" seemed too specific so I chose to translate as being about Tanuma's parents in particular.

[empyrealoasis]

hey so im going to explain my situation and the context , i also want to request you to please answer this ask as nobody is replying to me and i need it the most right now.

I've been into LOA and manifesting for 4 years, and a month ago, I decided to use the Void to manifest. My main desires are good grades, my grandfather’s health, and easier manifestation. I’ve tried meditating, using SATS, and entering trance states to access the Void, but despite using different methods, I haven’t succeeded. On November 20, my grandfather passed away, which has deeply affected me and my family. I also have my board exam viva on December 3 with zero preparation and a 30% attendance rate, putting my eligibility for the boards at risk. I urgently need to enter the Void to manifest solutions, as there’s no time left.

Please offer advice

Hi my dear, before I give you any advice I will reiterate that I do not respond to asks and dms, especially if you can find the answers in the community. The knowledge that you need is readily accessible at any point in time, all you have to do is read and apply. I'm not trying to be disrespectful towards you or anyone else, but if you looked at my introduction post I've stated my rules clearly. However, I have no problem in making some exceptions! >_<

Firstly, the usage of "tried", "entering" and "using different methods" says a lot about how you view the void state. The void state is not a magical place you try to enter. It is within you. Pure consciousness is a state and you are always changing states. Whether it is falling asleep or walking. Do you try to go to sleep? Do you try to breathe? So why are you trying to enter the void state/pure consciousness? There's a reason why anons, like yourself, including other bloggers and myself say that when they induce pure consciousness after months/years of "trying", they realize how easy and simple it was.

Secondly, you are overcomplicating the void state. By using various, elaborate methods and overconsuming, you are bound to spiral and search for an answer you already know. There isn't anything I can tell you that you don't already know. There isn't a cheat code or special method/ritual only bloggers know. You don't try methods to walk or run, so don't apply them to something you were born to do.

The most basic and effective way of inducing pure consciousness is going to bed 30 minutes to an hour earlier than usual. Relax your body by doing what works for you, whether it's through meditating, counting or hypnosis. Ignore your body and 3D by focusing on the darkness behind your eyelids and breathing. Affirm and allow yourself to slip into pure consciousness.

"My four principles: Relax, Ignore, Affirm, Allow"

In the same way, you ignore your surroundings when you want to sleep it's the same principle for inducing the void state. The only difference is you keep your mind active instead of entering the dream state.

Now, based on your circumstances your mental health is causing you to be desperate and emotionally dependent on seeing results in the 3D. In my humble opinion, I think you need to take time for yourself and work on your mental health for a while before you try to induce pure consciousness. It's unwise to idolize the void state as your only ticket to living your best life, as you can become more depressed- and develop more mental health problems in the long run. I also believe you should focus on your education and grief. If you're not up to that, induce pure consciousness when you feel most comfortable and happy. After all, I can't tell you what you can and cannot do. Only you can make that decision.

Lastly, I'm going to be transparent but I was once in your shoes as well. I was OBSESSED with the idea of the void state. I put it on a pedestal, became dependent and I became even more depressed. I spiralled out of control and fixated on the idea of entering. Long story short, I got absolutely nowhere. I only had success with entering (as you may see from my ask to @konniesreality) after I focused on getting a somewhat stable mindset and self-concept. I don't think I included it in that ask specifically, but that was pretty much my "secret" to MY success. It's NOT necessary, but I think it's worth it to put your mental health first in the long run.

I hope you find my response helpful and good luck on your journey! Remember to be kind to yourself and to take care of yourself. It's okay to take your time as it is infinite. :>

- Aquamarine 🐋🐚

[itsnathateasy]

connie being domestic!

word count: 1,3k warnings: a couple suggesting mentions (making out, car sex) author’s note: i don’t often see domestic content about connie on here, so i think it’s my solemn duty to provide these headcanons nobody asked for (boyfriend, husband, father, a bit of all tbh cause i can’t decide on one)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

I KNOW connie seems so unreliable, his fun and giggly personality makes it hard to imagine him as someone who’d take care of you or of your children (if you had any)

but connie is also the type of person who cares for his friends so deeply and was about to sacrifice a literal kid to save his mum… now, sacrifice is wrong (unless it’s a man against the feminist movement) but his intentions were pure

having said the above, connie is the person to cook for you when you’re feeling out of it, maybe you had a rough day at work or you were sick, but connie has you covered, he even gives you this lil speech about deserving a break and thanks you for always taking care of him so he’s more than happy to be taking care of you now

not that he expects you to be sick to take care of you, but it’s a great opportunity as you usually give him other household tasks to manage

like he’s the one responsible for all the shopping, from groceries to shelves and other hardware, he’s good at remembering technical details and he makes sure to follow your weekly or monthly meal prepping plan, to him this is like a game almost, he’s having a blast

he’s the sweetest to watch trying to unlock your apartment door, basically covered by all those bags he’s caring and he comes in with a “honey, i’m home!” and never fails to not buy you your special treat

connie is also a master with “fun” matters, he always knows what kind of gift you’d want for your birthday or anniversary and keeps mental notes of (literally) every single thing you say

when it comes to gift giving, he’s the same with your friends, it’s honestly admirable how he recalls all these details with zero note taking

in the “fun” matters, i’m also including music and shows/films, he’s the man to text you “made this playlist for you” out of nowhere or “hey wanna listen to this new song with me” when you’re both home after work

he’s the best when it comes to preparing for movie nights and even though he can’t plan a mean girls night on october 3rd, he will have bought all the snacks you both love, have the blankets ready on your couch and the tv on, waiting to hit the play button as soon as you’re back home from the gym

i also get the vibe that connie is crafty, so when anything is broken, he may not know how to fix it, but he will find a way or he’ll make sure to be home when you need a plumber and “supervise him” (idk why he needs to supervise a professional, but let him be the man)

he may need his lunch box packed for him, but he never fails to brew your coffee and leave you an “i love you” note on the fridge if he’s to leave earlier than you in the mornings

if he finds you already asleep on the couch, he’ll cover you with a blanket and scoot as close to you as possible and spoons you for the entire night (he won’t allow you to leave the couch in the morning without a proper cuddling session)

if you have a pet, he’s their dad, he takes them to the vet and buys their supplies, he often accidentally kicks their water bowl (he was showing you how cool he’d be if he was to play any of jackie chan’s roles) but he cleans it up later

he’s just a silly lil goofy boy, yk? but he never means any harm, he’s just too enthusiastic

did i mention that you guys often bake your favourite biscuits and cakes together? I KNOW you burnt that first batch because you were making out on the counter, but the rest of the baking went great

you do have some issues with him being prompt though, that’s sad. i mean, if you were to get ready together, you’d probably monitor him so that you wouldn’t be late, but if he’s to pick you up from work or from a coffee date with your friends, you’ll have to wait at least 15 minutes before he’s there and that’s why you resort to lying about being done earlier than you actually are

he knows he’s terrible with time management and constantly apologises for it, he even set up like 27 alarms to make sure he’s there on time buuut then jean called or he couldn’t pick out an appropriate outfit and now he’s profusely apologising and handing you your favourite chocolate bar as peace offering

hate to say this, but connie honestly believes he knows the way to every single place on the planet and thinks google maps ain’t shit. so he’s not using it. ever. only HE knows how to get there. (baby boy is CLUELESS as shit, but feels like he has to keep it up to highlight his navigational skills or something)

the money you’ve spent on gas and the time you’ve wasted aimlessly driving around…

he makes it up to you as you often end up in the most remote places wink wink so his rivalry with google maps is both a cursing and a bless for you

and yeah, he gets lost often and he tends to be unreliable when he has to plan things on his own and that might be difficult to deal with from time to time, but this man loves you to his core and will do anything to make it up to you

connie knows what he’s skilled with and what he needs to work on and he owns up to his mistakes, taking full responsibility when he’s in the wrong

he might seem all over the place and like he can’t organise shit but he’ll work his ass off to make you and keep you happy

like when you fight, connie never raises his voice, he knows this will make things worse and instead he suggests that you take a few deep breaths together and hug before you continue with your argument. truth be told, the first time you fought and he pulled this card on you, you thought he was making fun of you, but once you realised he was being serious, it was game over, THIS was the man

if you guys have kids, he’s the goofiest, most fun dad to be around, he’s so invested in their lives, he’s the man that wanted to be a husband and a father and thinks of your family as the greatest blessing

yes, he does try to get the kids (and himself) out of any dentist situation, but he knows you’re right and agrees that “we all should go to the doctor’s every once in a while, right kiddo?”

BEGS to be the party clown and dresses up in the silliest costumes to make sure your kids laugh and have a good time

connie loves to paly-pretend shows like the x factor and he’s making you all either prepare a choreo or a theatrical piece and then makes you pretend to be the judge of the performance and he and the kids dance or act for you and you have to give out scores (he does the commentary too, he’s using your daughter’s unicorn brush as a mic) (SHE insisted)

connie likes plants, he always tends to his tomato pot (and is the happiest whenever he gets some ripe ones in the summer) and he also keeps basil and oregano on the window sill and chops off some fresh leaves if you needed it for your cooking

i love domestic connie, please don’t write him as a plug/w€€d smoker bf all the time

[softestqueeen]

✧*̥˚ 500 followers special*̥˚✧

hey guys, it's so crazy to me that i've almost reached 500 followers on my little blog! when i started about one and a half years ago to post on here i never would have expected this!

so, to celebrate, i want to do a little 500 followers special! down below you will find a list of prompts that you can choose from. i will write about the characters i always write, so mainly criminal minds, but also about all the other fandoms/franchises you can find on my page.

to request something is simple! you slide in my dms, comments or asks with the number of the prompt and the character you want me to write with it. you can also specify a ship or x reader, though i usually write x reader. you can also choose 2 prompts and i'll try to connect them!

event masterlist

but now i've blabbed enough, here are the prompts!

✧*̥˚ prompts*̥˚✧ angsty

"Stop looking at me with pity in your eyes. Stop it. Stop fucking looking at me like that!"

"It won't be easy you know... trying to love me."

"No ones ever like... cared about me like that. Why would you?"

"I didn't know where else to go."

"Please, look at me. Breathe, god please, breathe."

"I- I don't know who I am anymore. I'm scared."

"Maybe you should just leave now."

"Please don't make it worse than it already is."

"There are other ways to solve this, please don't leave."

"You don't need to do this, please."

"Tell me what I can do to make you stay. What I can say so you don't leave. I- I need to know how I can fix this."

"Please don't make me leave."

"I should have seen this coming, I should have know better."

"No, don't do this to me now."

✧*̥˚ prompts*̥˚✧ fluffy

15. "Ssh, stop fussing. I'm just braiding your hair." 16. "I- I think I am in love with you." 17. "Don't be silly, I want to stay up with you." 18. "Everything is so cold and you're so warm. Please come back to bed, just for five minutes." 19. "Are you blushing?" 20. "You're so cute. I'm melting inside. You can't see it, but I am." 21. "Don't get up, I'll do it." 22. A keeping B from getting out of bed by holding them closer, maybe a few kisses here and there. 23. "Can I sleep in your room tonight? Is that a weird thing to ask?" 24. "I was so worried. It was killing me, not being able ot reach out and touch you." 25. "Is that my shirt?" "You mean our shirt?" 26. "I can't... I can't get you out of my mind and it's killing me. 27. "You make me want to do better, be better." 28. "You need to know that I've grown to care for you. Deeply." 29. "It's you, it's always been you." 30. "It kills me to know that you are out there with someone else." 31. "Close your eyes, I've got a surprise for you. Don't peek!" 32. "I never want to leave." 33. "I'd feel much better if you'd let me walk you home." 34. "I love hearing your voice first thing in the morning." 35. "Would it be cliche if we matched outfits? Just a little?"

✧*̥˚ prompts*̥˚✧ smutty

36. "Are you sure? Once we've started I don't think I'll be able to stop." 37. "We could get caught." 38. "So needy, aren't you." 39. "You sure it's gonna fit?" "I'll make it fit." 40. "I- I've never done this before, but I really want to. With you." 41. "... Or we could just get naked" 42. "Let me show you how much you mean to me. 43. "Please don't tease me, I can't handle this right now." 44. "Don't worry, I'll be gentle." 45. "I want to fuck you so bad right now." 46. "Oh I can do this all night long." 47. "Oh? Does that turn you on? " 48. "You have no idea how long i've thought about having you like this." 49. "Be quiet, or do you want everyone to know who's making you feel so good?" 50. "Fucking doesn't involve this much talking normally."

a/n: 50 prompts for 500 followers! also, i really want to write more wlw, especially with penelope garcia and emily prentiss (not as a ship per se, both are cm).

you can also come up with your own prompt and i'll include it!

requests open!

please also consider supporting my ao3: @ softestqueeen

[jester-lover]

Hi I hope you’re doing well! ^^

I saw that your requests were open and o was wondering if you had any hc with L.j with a chubby/plus size fem reader who’s really insecure about their weight and how they look 24/7 nsfw or not, it’s totally okay! ^^

I’m dealing with severe body dysmorphia right now and I feel like I keep getting worse.

I love your writing so much and the way you write everyone, and I just wanted to say to keep the amazing work!💕

Feel free to delete it if it’s not something you’re comfy to write for! I’d completely understand

As always, stay safe and remember to hydrate <3

Pretty Lady

Cw/female reader, angst, fluff, insecurities, comfort, SFW, body image issues, food/eating/weight mention, this post is a bit longer than my other ones, because I personally wanted to write it

Laughing Jack x fem! Chubby! Reader

Hey nonnie, I know how difficult it feels to not belong in your own self, especially when it comes to weight. I know how repetitive the ‘your beautiful!’ comments can get, even if they are absolutely true. So I’ll just let you know that I wholeheartedly hope that you find happiness with yourself, that you find contentment with yourself. This is something I wish I heard in my times of trouble. You are completely free and valid to feel however you feel, but please know that there is always something beautiful in the world waiting for you.

Jack is such a tender hearted fool for you

His soul is wrapped around yours in an everlasting hug, and he’s forever grateful you chose to keep him around

What confuses him at first is your sudden reluctance to accept the little hard candies he makes specially for you

Jack tries to think of the reasons why you’d reject his treats, perhaps you have developed a new taste?

To his surprise, when he goes to your room to ask about it, he discovers a saddening scene

Clothes scatter your bedroom as you sit on your bed in your pajamas, crying into your hands

Your breathing begins catching, which takes him from his trance as he reaches to stroke your back and press you against his comforting form

“Dearie? What's the matter? Are you hurt?”

Jack will wait as long as you need to, letting you cry it out as he gently presses kisses to your temple

His hands wrap themselves around your soft midsection as he sweetly coaxes you to lift your head up to meet his eyes

As you explain your worries to him, Jack feels whatever leftover heart he has begin to break

Tears speckle his eyes as he looks at you, his hands that rest on your waist begin shaking a bit as he speaks up again, seemingly soaking up all your pain

"But beloved...there is so much more to love about you...you mean so much more to me than your gorgeous appearance."

Jack holds you in his lap, and whilst being mindful of his claws, traces the features of your face, whispering little complements as he kisses you gently

Throughout the next couple days, he'll distract and uplift you with various services and simple delights

He'll cuddle you in your sleep, preferring to spoon or hold you against his chest as he shares little stories and anecdotes

Jack has seen almost 200 years of beauty standards flying in and out of style, and he knows they matter for nothing

He'll assist you in small self care activities throughout the next couple days, like long bubble baths and painting your nails

these activities bring you closer together, and he just basks in your presence

"Being around you is an honor, my love, something I've been blessed with."

He practically worships you, treating you like the beautiful woman you are

He loves it when you show off your outfits for him, a little fashion show where you two parade around in ridiculous outfits, laughing at one another and toppling over in each other's arms

Jack loves you, all of you, including your body. He finds you deeply attractive and he wants you to see that too.

[carelocaiiel]

My Ships in One Piece (Mostly Talking About Vivi's Potential Mate Because Nobody Talking About it)

Okay so here's some (mostly strawhats) of my favorite ships in One Piece and i will share my thoughts regarding ships that i found hilarious or interesting. For those of you who ask whether number 1..2…3.. is a ranking..(??) No, I just sorted the strawhats members first.

Luffy x Vivi

Luffy and Vivi is perfect. They both can reaches mentally to one another and even punch like a bros in other to woke the other one. Vivi deeply trust Luffy and Luffy always think highly of her but he can be worried sometimes because he care deeply for her. I say they're perfect because Vivi can mentally reaches Luffy, and consider Luffy sometimes hard to be approach with mentally method, this is high praise for her. Luffy and Vivi shares a lot of similarities like

Both are :

Honest leader

Fearless leader

Loyal to their friends and family

Love Adventure

Have The Will of "D" in their names

Lost their family members to World Government

Targeted by Imu

I found out their compatibilities somewhat reminds me of these two MBTIs > Luffy as ESFP known for their lively and outgoing personalities while Vivi is ENFJ, the ones who make sure everyone feels included and cared for. The ESFP and ENFJ will likely care for each other quite deeply. And while im not really keen with zodiac, i really love how sometimes author use this as a hint or base of something in the story, like the magic in Black Clover characters are determined by their zodiac signs. I checked out Vivi is an Aquarius and Luffy is an Taurus. I found out Aquarius and Taurus in love can make for an interesting pairing, and it seems Aquarius is ruled by Uranus, the planet that governs innovation, technology, and surprising events.. Yes Uranus.. One of the ancient weapons.

I just love how Luffy is sad that Vivi choose not to join strawhat pirate and he respected her wish. Since they're both closer in age, i think it's cute to assumed maybe there's a time Oda thought that it would be cute to use Vivi as Luffy's first crush (but Luffy himself doesn't even recognize it) before Oda make Luffy aseksual. Even he is eager to save Vivi that time when he hear she is missing. I say this because there's just noway Luffy punch Vivi so normally if he's not irritated by her. Sometimes crushes really makes we more irritated than usual. And while yes he punches other women too, he's not someone who will punch woman that he consider HIS FRIEND.. but in that scene..we can see Luffy wanted Vivi to REALLY TRUST HIM and the other crews BECAUSE THEY'RE FRIENDS And thats why his punch to Vivi is more special .. Luffy wanted Vivi to acknowledge HIM.

And what i find interesting is Igaram's dream when Vivi said she is going to be a pirate queen 😂, reminds me that she is a D. too .. So their pairing can work out like Gol D. Roger and Portgas D. Rouge. Also, according to Volume 76 SBS, Vivi's image number is 5.5 and Luffy is Birthday is in May 5. Their blood type also the same.. type F.

2.Nami x Sanji

Nami and Sanji is actually my VERY FIRST SHIP. If Luffy and Vivi have respect then i say Nami and Sanji have natural chemistry that of a couple. While there's a lot of fans that favors Nami x Luffy, i just see NamixLuffy's chemistry is like a Sister to her lil bro which she REALLY TRUSTED. Luffy and Nami's like two of kindred spirits. I just love how Sanji calls Nami using -san instead of -chan like other girls. Sanji respect Nami so much and treat her on the top of women. I just thought there's a lot of potential in their dynamic because their dynamic getting more interesting over time.

3.Nami x Zoro

I always have this thought that MAYBE Zoro prefer girls who is sharp and know what they want. I just saw a lot of Nami Zoro scenes that make me think " They're so funny together" because they have mutual respect for each other's strengths while often buttheads. Sometimes they can be seen talking and discussing about trivial matters.

4.Zoro x Tashigi

Yes Zoro and Tashigi… and why not ? My only comment is that their dynamic is interesting and i would love to see more of Zoro's reluctant reaction to Tashigi 😂😭.

5.Zoro x Vivi

Zoro and Vivi.. Yes this one is interesting. Zoro ALWAYS respected Vivi. He knows Vivi's characteristics and he knows she is a smart and independent woman. While there's not a lot to say about this ship, i just like how Zoro always have this concerning kind of face when he see Vivi doing something wholeheartily. And not to forget "MR. BUSHIDO" , a nickname Vivi choose for Zoro. Aint that cute ? I love their friendship too .. Like i said before, maybe zoro prefer girls who is sharp and know what they want. I just think Zoro always see Vivi as that kind of girl.. and i think Zoro's respecting people who puts others first like Luffy.. his respect for Vivi is just the same because Vivi and Luffy are that kind of people who will protect others and not afraid to do that.

6.Usop x Kaya

I will just say THEY ARE CANON and you know it 😭.The way Kaya believe in Usop ? Its just so wholesome And i LOVE IT.

7.Robin x Law

THIS! ACTUALLY ONE OF MY BIG THREE IF I RANK IT. 😭😭 Great minds think alike right ??? Yes! And that is Robin and Law! I don't know what should i say about them … They're just HIT IT OFF! 😭A VERY MATURE AND TRUSTING RELATIONSHIP .. And that is big! Considering both of them growing up struggled to trust people. Zoro x Robin is nice.. But not as nice as this . A lot of people said Law will die before the "dawn" comes.. But.. Yeah.. 😭i just can't ignore this feeling to ship them.

8.Vivi x Lucci

LEMME JUST SAY THIS STRAIGHT! THIS IS THE MOST HILARIOUS SHIP THAT I MYSELF CANT EVEN BELIEVE I SHIPPED THIS 😭. She already roasted Lucci WAY back there when she was Miss Wednesday riding Karoo.

We know that Nefertari is the name of an Egyptians Queen. Whats more interesting is that Egyptians believed cats were magical creatures, capable of bringing good luck to the people who housed them, Egyptians saw cats as mutually beneficial companions. Who have The Cat as their Signature Devil Fruit transformation ? LUCCI! The ancient Egyptians believed the cat was a representation of Bast, Bast also represented fertility, and also protection. Who also said their job is to protect Vivi? LUCCI also 😭.

I just can't help find this pairing hilarious… sassy vivi vs stoic lucci? Yes thats it! 😭 Whats more hilarious? HIS FACE RESEMBLE KING COBRA, VIVI's father. If theyre related, i would say like father like son.

And this just keep getting hilarious…

There's this manga cover when Lucci feeding the pigeons and one of them wearing necklace which have letter "V" as if "Vivi" .In chapter 753, SBS revealed Vivi's representative animal is PIGEON 😭 well yeah she is a pacifist thats what to be expected .. But… who have piggeon as their friend? My Man Lucci. And not to mention Vivi's representative colour is white… 😭.

Vivi is associated with marriage too .. If you guys know, there's this manga cover when Vivi's scrubbing and the flag says "Bride Training". The curious thing is… THE CATS is the ones who helped her 😤! And the name of the one who request it! "Hattori" SUS MUCH..

Im starting to believe Oda is setting up Vivi to marry someone at the end of One Piece.

Not to forget her tank top in the color spread says TIGER 😭 yes.. big cat like leopard. Maybe Tiger in here is associating with Nefertari Lily so it can be "Tiger Lily". Tiger Lily flowers were often used in rituals as an offering to invoke healing, protection, and good fortune. Furthermore, Tiger Lily flowers were also associated with the goddesses of love and fertility. It was thought that the flowers could help individuals connect with their ancestors and receive guidance from the spiritual realm. In the famous play, Peter Pan, the character Tiger Lily was named after this flower, and it symbolized her beauty and bravery.

In Chinese folklore, the Tiger Lily flower was believed to represent the love between a man and woman, and it was often planted in wedding gardens. Whats wrong with Vivi and wedding? 😂…. Dreaming of a Tiger Lily flower can be a powerful symbol of transformation, growth, and rebirth. It may indicate that a person is going through a period of personal growth or is about to embark on a new chapter in life (AND YES SHE IS GOING TO HAVE HER OWN ADVENTURE) Alternatively, it may be a sign of good luck and prosperity.

In Native American folklore, the Tiger Lily was associated with the sun and was believed to bring warmth and light to the world.Maybe if Vivi's the true Uranus (like i said before in LuffyxVivi that her zodiac is associated with Uranus), then this sentence is make sense, since a lot of people saying Uranus is the sun.

A tweet by @chanchancilchan explaining that maybe Oda is inspired by Peterpan to move Vivi as character and associated her with Tigerlily from peterpan. Both Vivi and Tigerlily refuses any suitors even though they're old enough to be married, and Tigerlily is kidnapped by Captain Hook which suspiciously resembles Sir Crocodile. WHAT SURPRISE ME IS not these thing but A CHARACTER NAMED JOHN DARLING.

From what i know, John Darling is in love with Tigerlily. In the anime Peter pan no bouken, there was a whole episode dedicated to John and Lily's first date, with John trying to be a gentleman to her only to either misfortune to happen or to have Lily utterly tsuntsun at him 😭 i dunno but this reminds me so much of Vivi and Lucci (yes im delulu). What i am trying to say is… Look at this John boy, look at that hat! and his white clothes…. But .. This tiger-vivi story feat lucci should be stopped here.. Lemme go introduce my next fav ship.

9.Vivi x Sabo

If you read my babbling about Tigerlily-Vivi feat Lucci. I think you should know that this is the continuation 😭. The thing is… John Darling reminds me SO MUCH of young Sabo. What intrigues me the most is that John is a middle child and if we see Ace, Sabo and Luffy together.. It seems Sabo is younger than Ace since his birthday is in March, so he is the middle one. John is said to be very mature but loves his time being very adventurous and playful, Sabo much ? Speaking of his appearance .. In some Disney storybooks, John's nightshirt is blue instead of white .. Yes… He wears glasses(Goggles for Sabo) , stovepipe hat. Umbrella (Pipe for Sabo) and blue clothes.

Also.. Remember when Sabo said he must marry into a royal family?

I can't wait to see Sabo meet Vivi, because Vivi has met his other two brothers, she has even had a deep talk about Luffy with Ace and has collided with Luffy.

10.Sabo x Koala

Next is Sabo and Koala, actually i don't have anything to say about them.. They're partner and their synergy is good. So well whats more to say ? 😂

11.Smoker x Hina

And last one is Smoker and Hina?? WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY ? 😭 THEY'RE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHERS AND THAT'S FINAL. I MEGAYACHT EM!

HAHA... AND THAT'S IT MY BABBLING about My Fav Ships in One Piece ... Mostly i babbling about Vivi but that's exactly my point since not a lot of people bringing that up. Actually i'm fine If these characters end up not having a romantic relationship with each others. But that's the point of shipping, isn't it? to have fun, and I already feel very happy with these ships, especially LuffyxVivi, RobinxLaw and VivixLucci (OMG FORGIVE ME ABOUT THIS ONE).

[whispywhimps]

Eyes without a face

Pairing: Switch!Farleigh start x Switch!reader, slight Oliver x reader and farleigh x Oliver and a brief mention of Felix x Oliver

Word count: 729 words

Warnings: sexual themes,badly written smut tbh, reader is referred to as mommy once, hair pulling, voyeurism

Summary: You can't help but have a little fun,not when those bright blue eyes are staring right through you

Farleigh Start fucked good, you knew that because once again you found yourself getting fucked into the mattress by the name that is well known all over campus

One thing was bothering you though, the other pair of eyes that were looking at the vulgar situation infront of them . You don't think Farleigh noticed tho,atleast you know he didn't notice you did . You recognised those eyes.

Olive quick .

Felix,Farleigh's cousin , brought him over. Claiming him to be a friend, though you couldn't help but think that their feelings were much stronger then what they let on . But that doesn't matter now, does it? What matters was that the pair of eyes watching the both of you belonged to Oliver . You saw the way Oliver and Farleigh looked at each other. It was always full of lust,want, but not love. The look of love Oliver had in his eyes were saved specially for Felix . You didn't care tho,you and Farleigh weren't exclusive ,he could fuck Oliver and you couldn't give a shit. As long as he fucked you nice and good at the end of the night you were perfectly content with the little agreement you both had.

There you were,on Farleigh's bed. The night isn't different from the ones before, getting your back blown out by Farleigh had become a regular occurrence. During the day you guys throw profanities,start arguments and give each other glares that would have made others felt like you were both ready to murder each other on the spot . The only people who really knew about this little thing you had going with Farliegh were those who were at Saltburn. And that included dear old Ollie. You always found Oliver a little strange . Sure ,he was an attractive guy, and from the personality he lets out he seemed nice,but there was just something deeply unsettling about him. You knew those eyes belonged to him ,no one else had eyes that deep and blue.

You weren't sure if Farleigh knew he was there,but you knew that he didnt notice you did . Since there wasn't any harm,why not have a little fun with Ollie ?

With Farleigh's head buried in your neck,moaning your name in breathy little whines and groans ,you took the opportunity to lock eyes with Oliver and start your little show

Your moans became louder,more pornographic . You shout out Farleigh's name ,mentioning how good he felt and how deep he was in you . You scratch at his back ,making sure to leave nice long red marks on them .

"Fuck Farleigh! Right there baby right there ,feels so good ,so so so good!! Harder ,please Farleigh want more !!" You shouted out,all while your eyes were locked with Ollie . "Yea?? You like this huh baby,love it when I'm inside you like this. Can't even think hm? Feels too good all you can ask for is more , right baby??" Farleigh replied ,his head coming out from your neck so you break your gaze with Ollie to lock eyes with him . He's been getting cockier recently ,maybe it's time you put him in his place .

You lock your ankle underneath Farleigh's calf and turn the each of you around so you were on top of him now . You grip his hair and tilt his head back until he's making eye contact with you,his eyes are shaky and teary, probably from the grip you had on him or the shock from the sudden power change " You've been getting cocky lately huh Farleigh, maybe I ought to put you back in your place ,hm? You want that baby? Want me to put you back in your place?" You make sure to tug his hair extra hard on your last sentence ,making sure he knows you mean it

" M' sorry mommy, please put it back in please I wanna cum so bad please" Farleigh was begging, " youre fucking pathetic yknow that? Begging me to fuck you . Youre a fucking whore of a man" you said before you started moving your hips , effectively riding him while all he could do was sit there and moan like a good for nothing slut

Let's just say that Oliver can't look at you or Farleigh the same anymore . Yet he still wonders how it would feel to be in any one of your positions

[callmeklair]

I read your post about Ayato overhype and I 200% agree with you and appreciate you for writing it. I also read that other person's Ayato analysis and I just gotta say that that cursed fig defense is so dumb. First off that shit wasn't a thing when More Blood came out. It's not mentioned or referenced even once in any route. Because why would it be? It wasn't even thought of when the first games came out. Second even if it were a thing and Ayato truly was cursed, then why doesn't he experience the effects of the curse in any routes apart from his More Blood one (and, according to this particular Ayato stan, Ruki's)? Why doesn't he go crazy from thirst in Kou's route? Or in Subaru's? Or in Shuu's? etc etc. Also, if the curse is truly that excrutiating and debilitating then shouldn't Ayato be a complete and utter mess in the other characters Dark Fate, Lost Eden etc. routes? But he's not. He's totally fine. Because the stupid curse isn't canon to the games and you can not and should not use it to explain or justify his awful behavior in Ruki's MB route.

I'm sorry this got kind of long but I just needed to get this off my chest because it bothers me so much when toxic Ayato stans insist he is oh so pure of heart, an innocent victim and that he unlike the other characters can't be held accountable for his abusive acts 😑

(feel free to vent out in my ask box I don't mind. and sorry for the late reply, life is hectic)

the curse thing is such a loop/plot hole because in more blood EVERY diaboy gets thirsty after starting to have feelings for Yui, so yeah that curse thing isn't canon. and exactly! if that's the case, why isn't ayato suffering from thirst in other's route. okay let's not include MB considering the argument "they weren't close enough" but by the DF, all Sakamaki and Mukami boys warmed up to Yui, so Ayato should be suffering from thirst/curse in other's route????

I liked ayato, but after youngblood when I saw some people(not targeting to anyone, and I'm not just talking about Tumblr), not liking other people shipping Yui with any other boy because "they are not canon" made me slowly detach from AyaYui. otherwise they were in my top 5 a few years ago.

youngblood was just a fanservice. it was good for Ayato fans but Rejet messed it up. first the curse thing then the degrading of Shu and Subaru's character by making them "betray" ayato. which irks me because we all have read flashback scenes of these two from the VERY FIRST GAME, and we are completely aware with how sweet and gentle they were in childhood.

In CL, in Shu's route, it was shown how much he deeply cares about his brothers despite not showing it. so does it go for Subaru in Carla's route. you hear it? not in his OWN route but Carla's route.

the only difference is, because of trauma they weren't sure how to express it and always doubted/hesitated to trust or show true feelings to each other because of what happened to them. they all went through different experiences.

Ayato is Ruki's rival, just like how Subaru is for Kou, and Shu for Yuma. Ayato just came to take away Yui as a prey. "his thirst wasn't controllable and was locked in a dungeon. it was definitely the curse."

the curse didn't even exist at that time. it was just Rejet's plot to progress Ruki's route because if we remember, Ruki asked Ayato, before he took away Yui, if he had feelings for her and ayato replied with, feelings??? that's nonsense, the only value she has is her blood. It was a scene of confirmation to make Ruki realise his feelings and stop thinking "Adam is what she needs and not a snake" so that he can finally betray Karlheinz for Yui and run away with her, free her from this hell.

in conclusion, we have seen every diaboy saying how unique and special Yui's blood is, also a very rare thing (i guess?) so because of instincts as a vampire, Ayato only wanted to find Yui to drink her special blood.

the curse thing can never be canon because everyone gets thirsty in their route, EVEN SHIN in his BRUTE ending in DF. so are they cursed too??? no they aren't 😭

some actions can never be justifiable, I'll even say that about my own fav characters like Shin, Subaru, Carla, Reiji, etc.

[florsial]

I actually need to hear more about ur thoughts and ideas on reg and the twins, like they r so special to me and the twins being super possessive over reg is so real to me😔

They are super possessive! They've known each other for years and their love is not romantic but more than platonic. It's love carefully built on loneliness and understanding that stuck when they first met.

The Rosier twins are possessive over Regulus because he was their first friend, you know, when you get a new best friend as a kid and there is this small jealousy that comes when you see them with someone else/partnering with someone else. That’s the Rosiers with Regulus. But also Evan and Pandora took care of him. Physically and emotionally. They soothed his worries when no one would, they kissed his tears away when no one would, Pandora brushed his hair and dressed him up, and Evan showered him in gifts. They took care of Regulus, spent money and time on him, so he was their’s, from the way he speaks of life and death to the way the twin’s jewelry hang off his wrists and rests on his collarbone. Regulus is sort of treated like their pampered doll/pet physically and loved deeply emotionally. If you’ll ask Pandora or Evan, they both say that they believe that they have more of a right to be in Regulus’ life than ANYONE ELSE. (Yes that includes eveyone in the black family) (which is a major reason why Sirius, who was taught that Regulus was his responsibility, doesn’t like them.)

On Regulus’ side, he’s also very much possessive over the twins. Once again, that “first friend” factor is HUGE part of it. He’s never had much for himself in life, so seeing Evan and Pandora put so much effort into knowing him, getting stuff for him, and overall loving him, he wants that for himself. He doesn’t want to share their attention when they keep giving to him unconditionally. He holds their hand, kisses away dirt and blood, washes their stained shirts and skirts with his own wand, he holds them at night, and indulges in everything they want to do in exchange for their sole position in his life permanently. Regulus is selfish character through and through and it’s highlighted so much in his friendship with the twins.

The twins can do no wrong in Regulus’ mind and Regulus is always innocent to Evan and Pandora.

They meet as kids when Regulus is left to his own devices at a party and Evan and Pandora dances to the Danse Macabre with a self playing piano in a dusty room in Grimmauld. He watches and watches as they contort and twirl and they expect much applause from him when they are done. He gives them such and they fawn over his dress and deathly pale skin and red, teary eyes and jade bracelets.

Thinking about them cuddled in a corner on the Hogwarts Express, thinking about how Barty and Dorcas were only allowed close to the twins and Regulus because Evan and Pandora and Regulus allowed Barty and Dorcas to be close to their dear friends/twin, thinking about Pandora wrote to them even during the blood of War looming over their heads, thinking about how Evan sleeping in Regulus’ when Regulus is dead, Regulus dying with Pandora and Evan’ names on bracelets on both of his wrist and Harry catching a glimpse of worn ropes and chipped beads in the cave, caught on the rocks.

I love them sm actually

[shallowseeker]

why do you think it’s such a popular idea in fic for post-empty rescue cas to be mad at dean for letting jack become god?

like not that this trope even necessarily bothers me, i’ve read many fics that include it that i’ve absolutely loved!! it’s just a really interesting fandom trend to me cause (i think) the thing that made jack and cas’s relationship complex was that cas wanted jack to make the world better peace on earth style and all that, and like. being god would let him do that right? idk i just think it’s super interesting that this is so popular even amongst writers who like truly do love dean, if that makes sense, and i’m trying to understand why. thanks in advance!

I actually haven't read any like that, so I may not be able to answer this very well, except for the context you've given me.

In short, my TLDR; is that fandom can emphasize anything, and if they want to emphasize Cas's good qualities, I love that! I feel a little uncomfortable talking about fics, per se, because I do feel like fics have every right to live outside of meta and canon, or to take the best parts of it and run with it!

BUT. That said. I'm going to pull out the line I think you're asking about, which is, "Would Cas be okay with Jack wielding Godly power?"

///

My answer is, "it's complicated." In my world, this challenging aspect of Jack, "His Destiny" is such an overt, deeply embedded Cas arc... and I view it as affecting Cas more heavily than other members of TFW.

CAS x FREE WILL

Despite being an overarching champion of free will, the ugly truth is that Cas struggles with free will, all the way up until the end of the series.

Cas repeatedly struggles with the idea that "other angels aren't like me" and, in my opinion, he tends to reach for authoritarian "kingly" power to solve problems, like how he behaves throwing his weight around with the guard-angel and Dumah in s14 Jack in the Box. Cas is absolutely at the end of his rope, but also, he clearly expects to march in and see Naomi right away; he is acting, still, as Heaven's commander.

(Contrast this to angels like Hannah, who were messily trying to have a "court," where the "angels governed themselves.")

Jack himself is, in my opinion, treated in some ways like "a royal heir."

I like to think of Jack as the embodiment of "the good King fallacy." It's this tempting idea that power isn't the problem (even though it is); it's just going to take the "Right, Good King" to wield that power.

//

CAS x DUTY

And Cas loves Jack, of course he does!

But it takes Cas a very long time to come to terms with the fact that he's allowed to love Jack irrespective of a mission or duty (s15 Gimme Shelter, Despair).

Cas has always been tied up with duty, and he almost tends to... convert what he cares about into missions.

(Aside// Tragically, even when Cas says "I love you" in s15 Despair, it's wielded like military strategy, with so so much pragmatism, it hurts.)

I think, on the whole, Cas flounders whenever his sense of mission stalls, or especially when he feels too weak to complete the "mission."

(SEE: Cas failing to protect his cherished human family in s12, Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets, Stuck in the Middle with You.)

And I personally think that's why the "mission" of raising Jack was so attractive to him in the first place. It was something otherworldly to "honorably" tie Cas to earth. Jack was something good and strong that would restore Cas's own sense of power/accomplishment, that would make Dean feel "relieved," and would make Sam feel "free.")

Cas eventually learns that Jack doesn't have to be cosmically important in order to be important to Cas.

///

JACK x BEING UNBURDENED & "NOT SPECIAL"

But anyway! Back to your point. Jack opens up about the need to be not special to... Dean, actually. (s14, Unhuman Nature)

This might get swept under the rug too easily. Even Cas knows that Jack opens up to Dean about the things that truly bother him; it's why we see them "switch kids" in Peace of Mind. In some ways, Sam is more like Cas; Jack is more like Dean.

But it's complicated.

Dean ends the show on his lowest note ever, and there's little grace to be found for his plight.

//

CAS x DESTINY; DEAN x REVENGE

On the back-end of s15, things have imploded.

Dean and Cas are having their respective existential crises re: revenge and destiny, and Dean's crisis is much, much harsher and uglier than we're used to seeing from him.

But that doesn't change that Dean has a long, rich history of resisting destiny. He has arguably been THE most wary member of Team Free Will when it comes to power. But in s15, Dean is having a crisis, and he gives into fatalism... for a time. (This speaks volumes about how losing Mary and losing Jack were twin wounds that damaged him more than ever before.)

It's Cas who resists Chuck the most in s15, at the beginning.

BUT, IMHO, Cas's character is overall shown to be "most okay" with Jack's intense power imbalance. (Perhaps because Cas himself is... overbalanced with respect to the human family.) Tragically, we see that continued in s15, when Cas encourages Jack to "strengthen his vessel" by eating angel hearts.

Dean balks at that, but he trusts Cas. Like Cas, Dean doesn't want to push back because he doesn't want to lose their tenuously restored family.

Effectively, when Dean and Cas discuss Jack's "destiny" in s15 Destiny's Child/Galaxy Brain, they say the SAME thing but with different motivations. Cas wants Jack to take power, and Dean wants Jack to dole out some punishment.

Their motivations are different, but the end result for Jack is the same. Cas's is draped in euphemism; Dean's is brutally honest.

And we have sympathy for that! Jack died! If he's strong, then maybe Chuck can't kill him, and they'll be spared that pain forever.

But in terminal s15, Dean goes down the same path that John, Godstiel, and NBK!Mary go... he winds up losing sight of the things he wanted to protect in the first place.

///

TFW x JACK'S POWER

But here's the rub: they all show signs of liking Jack's dominance. Not just Cas.

Sam veers into this immediately, that so long as Jack's power is "molded the right way," as he tells Donatello in s13 Rising Son, that his power can be a good thing.

We see AU Bobby do an about-face about Jack after Jack wallops the angels in War of the Worlds. He's, to quote the script, looking at Jack with starry-eyed hero worship.

And even Dean begins to chomp at the bit at the idea that Jack will be able to "end all the evil in the world." He returns to the trap of the black-and-white mentality, that things can finally be solved, invoking a Purgatory-style manner of looking at the world: "it's like shooting freaks in a barrel." (In s13 Let the Good Times Roll. Dean was looking forward to passing the torch to Jack... and to his own retirement!)

I think that TFW were all "okay" with Jack's power at different turns, and this desperation is often at odds with their idealized core values. This... tragic faith in Jack is at its heart because they love and trust him.

(A la how Chuck trusted Lucifer...)

And with respect to Jack fighting Chuck and being "allowed" to take in that power, their backs are against the wall. They feel Jack is the only option.

To quote Rowena speaking of her past as a poverty-ridden peasant, "What do you do when all the choices suck?"

///

A few last things...

CAS x TOYS

It's been pointed out by clever folks that Cas is lovingly associated with childish toys! Charitably, I think you can take these associations for Cas as stand-ins that he longs for Jack to be "normal/unburdened" too.

(I'm thinking of when Cas plays Connect Four with Jack or how we assume Cas was involved in buying Marvelous Marvin the Talking Teddy for Jack in parallel to how he bought Grumpy Cat for Claire.)

I've seen a few essays sensibly point out Cas is the one who lets them be children because he buys them toys, not weapons. This is in contrast to how Dean gives Claire a gun, and how Sam teaches her fraud.

So, with respect to your question, I think it's lovely when writers take this and highlight it for Cas, giving it wonderful implications for Cas "letting kids be kids."

On the other hand, despite giving his loved ones silly tokens of affection, what is the first way Cas spends time with Jack? Teaching him battle and military skills (s14, The Scar). A hunting trip.

So clearly, childish tokens aren't the full story.

///

CAS x MUNDANITY

There is also Cas's line in 15x18 Despair:

"We don't care about you because you're useful or because you fit into some grand design. We care about you because you're you."

This line may be charitably carried to a healing place: that Cas has made peace with throwing off the chains of destiny.

It's only natural to want this. Maybe the fandom is like Dean in some ways. We want to rely on Cas and believe in him the way that Dean does. That's Cas'll do the right thing and say the right thing... at the right time.

Cas is shown to be very impatient, and he's not what I'd call an expert communicator. It's because of this, I think, that he's prone to making sweeping gestures and grand testaments, especially when the shit has hit the fan... when it's already clutch time.

But I suspect that... in the day-to-day, Cas might struggle.

But it is nice to me as well if people want to take his good qualities and carry them further, to give him peace. :-)

[imagineitdearies]

firstly, perfect slaughter is so brilliant! you must be so proud with what you have created. your characterisation of Tyrus fits so well into the story and his relationship with Astarion is amazing. i don’t have the right words to express how much i love this.

one thing that also really stuck to me was cazador’s characterisation and his sick and twisted obsession with astarion and tyrus, you have clearly done so much research to understand his character.

which brings to my ask (apologies if you have already spoken about this): cazador says some really interesting things about astarion before the fight if you don’t bring astarion with you. it got me thinking about what are the factors that really drive cazador’s obsession with him specifically, considering most info the player gets is from astarion directly. i want to get your take on it, is it a deep rooted, subconscious fear/hatred that astarion has the capability to rebel, like in someways he is similar to cazador before he killed vellioth or is it more ‘simple’ as astarion is just the most fun to torment in comparison to others??

long ask, sorry

Hi anon! Thanks so much �� definitely feeling proud of PS, it's really shown me the high-level storytelling I'm capable of when I feel passionate enough about a project!

I think I've talked a bit about Cazador's obsession with Astarion but I'm not sure it was on my tumblr, so I'm happy to throw in my two cents! Like you've already listed out, though, there's multiple theories and likely all are true to some extent.

Thoughts below the cut:

When I think of Cazador Szarr, I think of how much fear can be a poison. A little of it is healthy, but when you let fear drive every decision you ever make, you're on a swift tunnel downward into all the no-good emotions: distrust, loathing, contempt, malice, sadism, etc, turned outward and inward. So yes, when you're a person who's let fear drive basically all your emotions and decisions, what kind of individual would make these ugly reactions flare up even more drastically? Yup, someone you fear. Now why would he fear Astarion extra--I have a few theories:

As you said, he sees Astarion's defiant nature (e.g. "the boy has always been troublesome" he writes in his journal) as similar to his spawn self, and therefore believes he has a similar potential to rebel and overthrow him. (This idea not only plays into Cazador's fears, but also his internal self-loathing.)

I like the fanon idea that Astarion shares a semi-similar personality and even physical traits with Vellioth, which certainly would trigger the hell out of Cazador and fuel the need to go extra hard on him out of anger, but also leftover fear.

When I meet the other spawn in bg3, there's just such a stark difference between Astarion from the very start of meeting him--he retained his sense of self in a way the rest really don't seem to have. They all act and talk a certain way, feel almost actually like siblings despite no physical relation, while he stands out like the black--silver?--sheep of the family. Therefore, outside of just his defiant nature, because it's not like he was always defiant with Cazador (i.e. Leon calling him a "lickspittle"), I'd argue Astarion simply has a resilient force of personality. He won't "drink the kool-aid" and lose himself in the name of survival. And maybe this is a hot take, but I think Cazador deeply fears ridicule and judgment. Having a spawn who retains a personality and even worse, opinions of him beyond fear and submission...how terrifying.

Of course, there are factors besides fear that could be examined. We cannot ignore Astarion's canon line: "He[...]did take special pleasure in my pain--he said my screams sounded sweetest." You can argue Cazador enjoyed Astarion's screams only for deeper, more contextual reasons like those outlined above, but I headcanon (and included in PS) that Astarion had the hard combination of a more resilient spirit but a lower pain tolerance than his siblings. So it was easier to get him screaming, but harder to truly break him, which is a hell of a lot more fun for a certified sadist like Cazador.

Alright, that's probably enough yapping from me! Cazador is quite the interesting beastie, isn't he?