#me blabbing

[therainnight]

Me blathering about Omgaverse JaviLloyd. 

Warning: I'm no writer. English is my second language AND this is me blathering about Omgaverse JaviLloyd. 

Of course, there is no beta reader. this is me blathering

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hear me out- omega!Lloyd.

Yeah I know he must suit for being beta but I like the chaos of Suho and others that not is baron or baroness, don’t know if Lloyd is omega.

Originally, his death isn’t only because of drinking too much but also consumed heat suppressant pills for a long time and won’t let his body have heat after the first time it happened, and because of that most people think he is beta.

Unfortunately, Kim Suho aka our beloved young master takes his body without this knowing this. He did notice the pill bottle on the bedside table but don’t think too much about it. (In his defense, “it a pill bottle with no label. Who would dare to touch it?”)

The story continues like now it in the novel or webcomic. There was once or twice, Javier noticed a new scent coming from Lloyd. VERY SUS. At first, Javier thinks that Lloyd has a secret meeting with omega to steal the weird knowledge that recently Lloyd possessed but that theory has to drop out because Javier is with Lloyd 24/7 after he picks up Lloyd from passing out on the road on a faithful day.

Lloyd knows only a few things about this second-gender thing. “The knight of blood and iron” is focused on Javier’s knighthood journey more than the second gender. He knows what beta, omega, and alpha are but just that it.

After the mining & ant incident, it the moment that Lloyd learned about his real second gender. He learned from the mouth of his family doctor. At first, the doctor praised Lloyd for his choice of choosing to stop drinking after that he praised him for stopping taking heat suppressant pills and letting his body free for once, doing what it was designed for.

“Heat? What?” Lloyd asked but the doctor didn’t notice and keep talking.

“It’s good that now you consider your health, young master. But just completely stopping consuming heat suppressants immediately is kind of dangerous. I will write a new set of pills for u to stable your system, ok?”

“Oh and please don’t take it the wrong way but now you're out of pills, I think you should consider wearing a collar for your own protection.”

“I know. Sir Asrahan is trustworthy and noble alpha but as you always said to your soldier, safety first! Hahaha” the doctor laughed softly.

Before Lloyd could ask doctors more about this “heat” and pills. Baron and baroness break into the room and hug him while telling how they were glad that Lloyd is awake and safe. After a joyful family drop-down. Baron tells Lloyd that he knows about Lloyd's decision to stop taking heat suppressants. The baron presents Lloyd with a collar with the Frontera symbol on it. He said that ask for a mage to cast a spell cast on it to become invisible when the user wears it.

“I know how much you hate people knowing about it but please, think as to help ease your father and mother’s mind.”

Lloyd was confused but agreed to what the baron and baroness begged him for. Good for Lloyd, He wasn’t alone. Javier was also confused.

Nowadays, young master Lloyd has this- bewitching scent coming right off him. At first is very dilute, if it is not because of his sharp sense and of the time they spend together. He won’t notice it but now it becomes more clear and stronger. It smells like chocolate mostly but also another sweet scent that makes a sweet tooth like Javier crave for some.

On one relaxed night, The one that Lloyd can have a routine like normal people. He finished his bath, ready to put Javier into dreamland but Javier have some business before joining him in his bedroom. Lloyd rolls around on the queen-size bed. Lloyd can’t help but feel uneasy and annoyed with how his bed is.

Everyone would have some moments like this. When you feel like the bed is not right and they fix the bed until you feel comfortable again.

So Lloyd spend time waiting for Javier to fix his bed until he felt satisfied. He fluffs 4 pillows that he has. He keeps arranging it but is still unsatisfied.

‘Tomorrow was my day off!! I will have a good quality night's sleep today!!!’

Before he knows he collects the many pillows and blankets as much as he can. While Lloyd arranges his bed like a madman he notices Javier’s pink pillow on the chair near his bed. He picks the pink pillow up. Look around it. Before hugging it to test the quality of the pillow. Turn out it is perfect!

Lloyd replaced the pink pillow with his own pillow while thinking Javier won’t mind him borrowing this pillow just for one day.

-knock- -knock-

“Master Lloyd. It’s me”

“Ah! Come in.”

Javier didn’t prepare his heart for what he witnessed after he opened the door. The usually normal bed is now full of pillows and blankets. Anyone can see that each item has gone through a lot of calculations to determine where to put it.

‘I- it looks like a nes-‘ before Javier can end his thoughts suddenly Lloyd pops out.

“Ha ha! Lo and behold! This is my fortress!”

“....Young master, what are you doing?”

“...make my bed? ANYWAY! come join me! it's very comfy, you know~? Want to sleep with this big brother tonight~?”

“..with all the respect, sir. I have to refuse- wait. Is that my pillow?” 

"oh-AH. Yes. I will borrow it today! "

"You have a ton of pillow, Sir. Why you must borrow mine? please give it to me"

"What-? Did I just hear SIR KNIGHT ASRAHAN say he can't sleep without his pink pillow? don't worry. I won't tell a soul."

"--!"

Javier moves closer to the bed with a fortress(?) make of pillows. To be honest, the nest- no- the bed looks very comfy and neat but he can't let himself go along with what this trash human planned.

Thank you for reading! :3

[ghostsdonthavefaces]

I love how Joker can go from absolutely dramatic and intimidating, even terrifying with those eyes and grin-

To a silly little guy

With silly jokes and grins.

[horsehag]

Dammon is a butch lesbian. he has to be, look at that stupid undercut. also he's a blacksmith, that's very lesbian. and the karlach hand holding scene, no man could ever.

okay dude.

[mnstermasher]

2012 tmnt oc her name is miyo and i love her

umm she's supposed to be an older sister figure to the turtles and she used to be evil and work for shredder because like umm

miyo was found and trained by the shredder alongside karai when she was young. she and karai grew to have this odd sister (?) relationship but saki never really sees miyo as his daughter, but more as another one of his pawns due to his hatred for mutants, which makes miyo dislike herself and envious of karai because shes the only one saki views as his own. miyo believes shredder to be a good man for taking her in and sheltering her which makes her emotionally attached to him and feels the constant need to gain his approval so he uses her yearning for love from her only parental figure for evil shit and whatever and she's absolutely heartbroken when she finally realizes hes not the good man she thought he was.

when she finally separates herself from the foot clan and starts hanging out w the good guys shes rlly conflicted when facing the shredder, sometimes mourning the relationship she thought they had or getting really upset at herself for failing for such deception.

when first meeting splinter and the turtles, miyo is jealous and distant towards them at first but softens up the more she hangs around them and begins to become attached and view them as younger siblings. with splinter it takes more time and getting used to due to her fear of forming relationships only for it be the same as last time (they do end up forming that father daughter bond at the end though) . she does clash with splinter at first though in his teaching methods w the turtles just because she doesn't want them getting hurt or being unnecessarily reprimanded.

yeesh i am quite the blabbatron.

but yeah

um shes rlly fond of them and loves them dearly

basic information stuff:

she's introduced same time karai is but leaves the foot clan after the whole lead tigerclaw to their lair ordeal

shes happily eats mikey's horrid food experiments with no complaints her tastebuds are fried like his

shes like almost as tall as donnie i would think

her primary language is japanese and she speaks slightly broken english (her favorite English word is newtonian)

shes very fond of frozen yogurt

ugh im so embarrassed now guys dont exile me from tumblr heaven pls

[imagineitdearies]

not a Perfect Slaughter question but Astarion one. you remember that scene in goblin camp where a Loviatar priest and PC can do an impromptu bdsm session? Astarion's reaction always confused me. he seems to be strangely into it for a person who experienced a lot of non consensual sex with physical violence sprinkled on top. like yes, he could be faking it (it's act 1 after all) but he gives a lot of approval points for it.

is it just a case of him being his usual gremlin self? or is he more amenable to the show now when he isn't the one on the receiving end of a whip? also at this point in a game i doubt he cares too much for PC (reminds me abt his remark "i don't like seeing you hurt" or smth along the line).

and more generally, what do you think is his stance on pain play and d/s stuff in the bedroom? anyway would like to hear your musings on this, ciao <3

Hey anon!

I'm no Astarion expert compared to some in this fandom, but this is a scene I've thought a lot about the implications of myself so I'll offer my two (very long-winded) cents. I'd love to hear others' thoughts as well!

I agree that Astarion's big approvals should be isolated to the context of when in the game he's giving them. Based on his smaller approval points in Act I, when Astarion starts out this journey he seems to like watching people get treated how he once was. Just a few really early examples:

Tav* making Lae'zel say please (Astarion begging Cazador)

Tav making Zorru bow (Astarion having to bow in Cazador's presence)

Tav prodding Nettie's injured bird till it dies (Godey flashbacks)

Tav telling Mayrina's brothers they won't help (no one ever helping Astarion)

Tav terrorizing Lorin/entertaining his delusions (☹)

So we could argue Astarion is just leaning into this sadistic trauma response in the Loviatar scene as well. He finds satisfaction, however temporary, in seeing others endure what he once had to, and reassuring himself that he's on the winning/powerful/in control side this time. AKA not the weak pathetic person he feels like he was before. The self-loathing is subtle, but not far under the surface.

Considering he often disapproves of Tav being self-sacrificing and weak in other instances, however (usually when it's on behalf of others), why does he highly approve in this certain instance of Tav submitting to pain and injury for seemingly no good reason?

I think the timing of this scene in Act I makes a big difference, considering it's deep in the goblin camp where the party is usually at least a couple levels into their adventure. So in that case, Tav is the established leader, Astarion's vampiric nature is revealed, and they've survived quite a few encounters together already. Some trust has been built. Astarion is more assured of Tav's strength, competency, and willingness to keep him in the group....but that assurance of Tav's strength could be crossing over to feeling unsafe again.

There's plenty of other chaotic, less-sadistic things that he likes (BAAAA!), but almost** all of his big +5 or +10 approvals come from Tav agreeing to something that makes Astarion feel safe and/or powerful. So perhaps Astarion wants Tav to say yes to the Loviatar pain ritual because he views it as a show of strength. He might feel safer knowing that his leader can not only handle pain, but is so entirely unafraid as to welcome it even in the midst of a dangerous goblin camp--something Astarion's 'weak' past self never would have done (cue the self-loathing again).

Based on how eager he sounds when encouraging Tav, though ("don't you dare say no!"), I like to think that he's playing it off as sexual but in reality wants to assure himself he's not with another Cazador. While Astarion is likely to follow Tav regardless, I think he's more interested in being intimate with Tav--if he hasn't already--after seeing that Tav is okay with not always being in charge and assertive, in control. I think, especially at the start, Astarion craves control after not having it for so long, and this kinky display tells him Tav wouldn't mind him taking over for a little while.

Which, at last, gets us to your question about Astarion's views on "pain play and d/s stuff in the bedroom." I think it's telling that Astarion has a +5 approval during the first sex scene if Tav rolls over and lets him bite, and no matter which final romance scene you end up with in Act III, he's depicted as the top. If he ascends, he quickly jumps into what I'd call a permanent d/s dynamic with spawn!Tav where's he's the one in control, made all the more evident with the new kissing animations for patch 6. Plenty of implications to be had, about his preferences.

Now (and these are entirely my headcanons/opinions from here on out), Astarion just isn't in a place for what I'd consider actual healthy d/s dynamics in the bedroom during or immediately after the game timeline, as his mindset is too rooted in fear, self-loathing, and desperate grabs for control. It's been days, weeks at most since he was tortured and controlled on the regular--a lot of this stuff could be triggers and provoke flashbacks, or at the least reinforce the idea in his head that sex is a tool of manipulation and control. Truly safe, sane and consensual d/s acts just don't seem on the table--he goes through a period of not wanting sex at all, much less intimacy where so much trust is required.

But post-game, with enough time? I could see spawn!Astarion*** eventually enjoying some light bdsm in either role, maybe pain play beyond bites if he was the one giving, not receiving the pain. Which all could be a healing experience for him, with trust and aftercare involved. He wouldn't make it on my list of 'top three kinkiest companions' though 😂

Anyways, this is all very much my personal opinion!! Astarion is a fascinating character with so much nuance, there's endless ways to interpret him. And maybe he was just feeling extra chaotic and kinky that day 🤷‍♀️ "Ah, drink it in - that sweet, sweet chaos. Not that I approve of goblins, of course - filthy little beasts - but I do like a good den of debauchery."

Thanks for the question anon. If nothing else, I hope these ramblings entertained! 💙

*Tav represents Tav, Dark Urge, and origin characters in this post

**The one exception that I can think of is the +5 approval for letting him interrupt during the bugbear/ogre scene. Chaos gremlin indeed.

***Ascended!Astarion's characterization and lore is just a bit too inconsistent and vague (in my opinion, of course) for me to analyze a future for. Press (x) to doubt that he can eventually practice safe, healthy bdsm on the side with spawn!Tav while he does his evil stuff and tries to take over the world, but maybe??? Lol he doesn't make sense to me.

[filthyloveforemesis]

Wow, this is addicting... Now I may not mind becoming a frequent vomit-er.

The last I threw up due to unsettled stomach would be 4 years back due to jaundice, and if it's simply from food not agreeing, it's been 7 years since last time (and although the painful experience, looking back, it was the most horrible and exactly the way I like it. I vomited worth 2 days of meal on first time and then vomited bile in gap of 1-2 hours and for the next day, I've been stuck to the bed).

My cousin sister easily vomits and now that I have already gone through the pain, I actually want that trait in me too. I get bouts of nausea or dry heaving due to anxiety but it's never enough to get anything up.

Coming to the actual reason for making this post, I vomited only once last night and even though I have been feeling nauseous, that's it. I had an important test today but skipped it, fearing vehicle may agitate my stomach. I let out professor know but I still feel guilty. Currently sucking on antacid tablet. While there's rarely any discomfort in my stomach, I can feel a lump in my throat and I am actually praying to feel sick and throw up so that my excuse becomes the truth and I get to console myself for taking precaution.

I am starting to scare myself... Is it normal to get turned on by a kink when you're the subject ? Oh well, I'll still cherish the memory of my epic vomiting moment and hope to have another in future when I am with a partner. I don't know why but I don't like it/feel shy when I get attention and care from my parents or siblings but the idea of sharing my moment with close friends or partner is mesmerizing, no matter who the sick person is !!

[oakspice]

I just cracked my game open for the first time since Nov and wow.. missed this dumb game.. Anyone else ever try to leave the Sims and always find themselves back after like 4-6 months

[silverdrws]

why did i have the read the shitty things bradley james done i should’ve stayed oblivious

curse you merlintwt (actually not your fault but my nosy ass fault)

[ash14a]

G H O S T

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nsfw drabble. this take is from my perspective of ghost and trying to really incorporate that personality of his in game.

look, i love the nsfw imagines lots of writers have for ghost since it fulfills the imagination people have, but at times i do wonder how he would 'truly' act.

+18 content below

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NSFW

right off the bat definitely a blowjob kinda guy, lets start there.

he's more on doing it solo but wouldn't turn down a bj if he trusts you.

the only reason he actually masturbates or would even allow a bj is cause of stress and other pent up feelings

lets start with how he likes it, it actually depends on his mood and given time.

he would actually just say how long he wants it to be, like take your time or i aint got all day.

if theres time he appreciates a lap dance before going down to business (plz not in military gear that's just haunting) he's middle aged, he would prefer a calm, seductive, and alluring way of performing, intense eye contact and little smirk here and there. it doesn't necessarily get him hard just entertained.

if there's time he would def appreciate a slow and long blowjob. take your time stroking, get him standing, his hand in your hair, eye contact is a must it creates tension, especially if you can hold eye contact with him for a long time, smirking, and doing that looking up look with lazy eyes (yk what i mean !) get it a little sloppy. moans here and there appreciated but he would def just grunt/sigh if he has to react. would like you to make sounds, likes to see you enjoying yourself (i stand by him not liking too much moaning or whining). if he's a bit playful he might talk with you about something else than the bj. if you're pushing buttons on the wrong day he'll end it without finishing.

you gotta do gods work to make him finish cause this man won't come undone with just glock glock 3000. not saying slurp him like a noodle (that might do the opposite effect) get him horny !!!

when he's done he'll clean up first and fast so he can help you out there, might tell you some dad jokes if you got along well during bj.

and on days when he's in a bad mood he will turn you down, if you try and force him you wont get a next time.

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okay that's my take on ghost, if i get more cozy I'll be def pouring out mad stuff. I want you to know i absolutely love getting hurt so thats why i love making ghost serious and no strings attached shit, all just for pleasure. I'm excited for graves that slut has next level potential.

first time uploading lmk what you think !

[aftonsparvautismalien]

life is so good when you have three digital cameras, two stoner friends, and a good plate of thai food

[vampyrdiariez]

𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐲 #1. ⋆｡˚🦇⛧

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───

1/10/24 , 8:54 AM.

It’s barely even 9AM yet and today has already been a waking nightmare.

I woke up in extreme amounts of pain as I have off and on the last two weeks; and most of my life really. I only recently found out why after years of this. I have alpha-gal, as well as being allergic to pretty much everything outside.

Managing my alpha-gal has been extremely difficult, as I still live with my parents who aren’t much help when it comes to cross contamination and other such issues. So, I am constantly exposed. Leading to frequent reactions and episodes of reaction like the one I’m having now.

Frankly it’s just exhausting having to deal with this as often as I do. Hopefully I’ll get to rest for a little bit, if not, I’m not sure.

[giotanner]

Woah, hii new followers and thank y'all! I hope you like what I'll post (I'm already drawing a hurt/comfort scene with Knight Anakin and Obi-Wan) 😶‍🌫️

[thatkippycat]

Y'all I don't know what's up with my tumblr but it's decided to force me back into my MLP days and I don't know how to feel about that.

Anyways if you need me I'll be consuming more MLP stuff on here while writing a college level essay on why Rarity is great.

[mnstermasher]

why is he such a freakazoid ughh donatello they did you so wrong....,,,,😑

i used to draw him so much i love him hes my son

[imagineitdearies]

firstly, perfect slaughter is so brilliant! you must be so proud with what you have created. your characterisation of Tyrus fits so well into the story and his relationship with Astarion is amazing. i don’t have the right words to express how much i love this.

one thing that also really stuck to me was cazador’s characterisation and his sick and twisted obsession with astarion and tyrus, you have clearly done so much research to understand his character.

which brings to my ask (apologies if you have already spoken about this): cazador says some really interesting things about astarion before the fight if you don’t bring astarion with you. it got me thinking about what are the factors that really drive cazador’s obsession with him specifically, considering most info the player gets is from astarion directly. i want to get your take on it, is it a deep rooted, subconscious fear/hatred that astarion has the capability to rebel, like in someways he is similar to cazador before he killed vellioth or is it more ‘simple’ as astarion is just the most fun to torment in comparison to others??

long ask, sorry

Hi anon! Thanks so much 😊 definitely feeling proud of PS, it's really shown me the high-level storytelling I'm capable of when I feel passionate enough about a project!

I think I've talked a bit about Cazador's obsession with Astarion but I'm not sure it was on my tumblr, so I'm happy to throw in my two cents! Like you've already listed out, though, there's multiple theories and likely all are true to some extent.

Thoughts below the cut:

When I think of Cazador Szarr, I think of how much fear can be a poison. A little of it is healthy, but when you let fear drive every decision you ever make, you're on a swift tunnel downward into all the no-good emotions: distrust, loathing, contempt, malice, sadism, etc, turned outward and inward. So yes, when you're a person who's let fear drive basically all your emotions and decisions, what kind of individual would make these ugly reactions flare up even more drastically? Yup, someone you fear. Now why would he fear Astarion extra--I have a few theories:

As you said, he sees Astarion's defiant nature (e.g. "the boy has always been troublesome" he writes in his journal) as similar to his spawn self, and therefore believes he has a similar potential to rebel and overthrow him. (This idea not only plays into Cazador's fears, but also his internal self-loathing.)

I like the fanon idea that Astarion shares a semi-similar personality and even physical traits with Vellioth, which certainly would trigger the hell out of Cazador and fuel the need to go extra hard on him out of anger, but also leftover fear.

When I meet the other spawn in bg3, there's just such a stark difference between Astarion from the very start of meeting him--he retained his sense of self in a way the rest really don't seem to have. They all act and talk a certain way, feel almost actually like siblings despite no physical relation, while he stands out like the black--silver?--sheep of the family. Therefore, outside of just his defiant nature, because it's not like he was always defiant with Cazador (i.e. Leon calling him a "lickspittle"), I'd argue Astarion simply has a resilient force of personality. He won't "drink the kool-aid" and lose himself in the name of survival. And maybe this is a hot take, but I think Cazador deeply fears ridicule and judgment. Having a spawn who retains a personality and even worse, opinions of him beyond fear and submission...how terrifying.

Of course, there are factors besides fear that could be examined. We cannot ignore Astarion's canon line: "He[...]did take special pleasure in my pain--he said my screams sounded sweetest." You can argue Cazador enjoyed Astarion's screams only for deeper, more contextual reasons like those outlined above, but I headcanon (and included in PS) that Astarion had the hard combination of a more resilient spirit but a lower pain tolerance than his siblings. So it was easier to get him screaming, but harder to truly break him, which is a hell of a lot more fun for a certified sadist like Cazador.

Alright, that's probably enough yapping from me! Cazador is quite the interesting beastie, isn't he?

[imagineitdearies-old]

Don’t ask if a creator still likes lucemond. Tell them what you enjoy about the lucemond stuff they’re already made/written!! Let’s fangirl the flames not piss on them, friends.