#but it's a particularly good one
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"What's the deal with Taliesin?"
A somewhat lengthy ramble about the most powerful (or most arrogant) character in Arthurian legend
One the one hand, his powers exceed MerlinâsâMerlin describes himself as âsecond only to Taliesinâ (in âYmddiddan Myrtin a Talyessinâ), and Taliesin claims to have profound knowledge of the cosmos dating back to Creation (he says poetic inspiration was created at the same time as fresh milk, dew, and acorns). He knows everything and can shapeshift into pretty much anything, if the catalogues he gives are anything to go by. He survived being swallowed alive, being thrown in the sea ("Ystoria Taliesin"), and (it seems) going on a raid of the Otherworld during which all but seven of Arthurâs many warriors died ("Preiddeu Annwn"). Then or at some other point while he was in Annwn, he pierced 8,000 men with spears he got from Heaven ("Cad Goddeu"). That puts his casualty count above that of anyone else I can think of in Arthurian legend (They fall "by the hundred" to Bedwyr--"Pa Gur"--but by "forty score hundred" to Taliesin). For all we know, he's indestructible; from what he claims, he's omniscient.
On the other hand, he sometimes seems like Sir Kay Xtreme Bard Edition with Extra Arrogance. In The Book of Taliesin, he has a really bitter (one-sided?) feud with other scholars and monks (some variant on "pathetic men of lettersâ appears many a time), who he accuses of ignorance because they donât know the answers to various questions he never gives the answers to himself, and he loses or alienates everyone until the only person who visits him is a dude named âGoronwy, from the dales of Edrywyâ ("Cad Goddeu"). Not much is known about this Goronwy, though itâs been speculated that heâs the speaker in âClaf Abercuawgâ, in which case heâs an ailing societal outcast and probably couldnât get anyone to talk to him except Taliesin. Thereâs a strong pathos to thisâtime, and maybe hubris, came with a fall, leaving him somewhat like a washed-up starlet or a burned-out wunderkind, abandoned now that heâs no longer the shiny new thing.
On the third hand, which I don't have but Taliesin could probably manage if he felt like it, much of this is from his point of view, and we have no way to prove he's telling the truth. When he tells his own origin story, he claims that he was Frankensteined together by enchanters at the dawn of time. This flatly contradicts "Ystoria Taliesin", so either there are multiple canons for his life story, he's talking as the Awen rather than as himself (in which case he's still contradicting himself--he also says it's a creation of the Lord), or he's lying about some of it. Why he would want to is anyone's guess, since he is quite powerful regardless.
If we don't take Taliesin at his word about his ability to kaiju battle giant toad monsters ("Cad Goddeu"), or take it with a grain of salt, then what are his accomplishments apart from self-preservation and repaying a life debt to Elphin? I am by no means an expert on him, but in what I've read, he does almost nothing in anyone else's story. It's almost like, apart from one or two times, he isn't able to find a way to use his powers for anyone else's good.
Then again, what is his primary power? Shapeshifting seems obvious (too obvious). He uses it for self-preservation (which is valid), for the heck of it (maybe), and/or for really dubious ends (see "Angar Kyfundawt" if you really must know, but trust me, you don't want to). Fighting is a less talked about ability of his. He can cause a lot of destruction (according to himself). It's not really clear what he fights for, though the various legendary kings he hangs out with are probably implied. Then, there's...
...the Awen. Inspiration. Poetry. He can do poetry, and he can do it very well. That is what he boasts about the most, and his boasts seem pretty justified. Heâs Taliesin Ben Beirdd, Taliesin âChief of Bardsâ, not Taliesin âthe Shapeshifterâ or Taliesin âBest of Warriorsâ, even though he may be both of those things. Shapeshifting only benefits him, and he's seen the horrors of war more than most people: his close friend Merlin killed his own nephew in a battle. When Taliesin fights, he kills terrifying numbers of people, maybe without full control (whether he's fully cognizant while he's using his powers is an interesting question which I won't get into right now). Perhaps that's why he doesn't interfere with others' adventures much: he is too powerful to do less harm than good for the people around him and for the narrative tension. Or maybe he just doesn't feel like it, or he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, or they just don't want him there anymore, or his role as a teller of stories is more important than his role as a person in them.Â
#I should note that Taliesin is not exclusively Arthurian#but him being a better fighter than Lancelot and everyone and it almost never mattering is entertaining to me#I mention âCad Goddeuâ a lot in this#It's not that there aren't other poems with a lot of its features#but it's a particularly good one#and there are a number of details there that I haven't found anywhere else#I'm also midway through a TBoT reread at the moment#I don't post enough about Taliesin#and he's underrated#so l'll do what I can for my horrible bard#This might be my longest post thus far#taliesin#taliesin the bard#taliesin ben beirdd#the book of taliesin#hanes taliesin#arthurian legend#welsh mythology#medieval literature
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L + ratio + youâre on a path in the woods + at the end of that path is a cabin + in the basement of that cabin is a princess
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i now understand how certain people felt when harpy eda was revealed đł
prints here
#toh#the owl house#toh fanart#lilith clawthorne#hooty#toh finale#watching and dreaming#captioned#WOW. WOOO OW. GOODNESS. MA'AM. QPR PLEASE??? PLEASE??? WOW#i both literally am her and i want to kiss her. Wow!#she is the ideal woman. her particularly early 20th century fashion sense. she's a big nerd. she appreciates history. she's aroace. she's a#bird lady who can fly. she has curly hair. Oh Jeez It Does Not Get Better Than That#sorry anyway i cant believe i won twice in a row with ladies (queen and lilith) who are specifically tailored to me and no one else /j#digital art#illustration#a small victory against my art block even though this took like 4 or 5 days to chip through. but i did it#there are some parts i feel a little clueless about so#critiques welcome#lilith please pick me up and fly my gay ass off into the sunset please im beg
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YJ S3 Dick, still in the midst of his fever dream, hides underneath the 'souvenir' instead of behind some boxes, and accidentally opens the airlock trying to take care of the Parademons. The others get it to close... but not before Nightwing is thrown into space.
There, he stares at the ship holding his friends and mentors. There, he wishes more than anything that he can, somehow, survive. There, he tries to live, if only so his family don't have to bury him like Jason.
There, Nightwing dies, wanting to save everyone, even with the cold seeping into his bones far too quickly for a regular section of space.
Then, Dick opens his eyes to... Earth? There's a little house, and grass, and trees, but there's a bubble of green over it all. Outside of that green was an entire castle, one that looked like it should have far more support beams than it does for even a hope that it stays standing.
And the sky was swirling shades of that same green. It makes him think of Lazarus.
"Well, that's something you don't see every day." He whips his head behind him, a bit too fast for Earth's atmosphere, but it doesn't hurt him. Past the bubble of green was a blue-skinned adult in purple robes, the insides of a grandfather-clock fitted inside their torso, and a black staff with a stopwatch on its top. Beside them was a man with snow white hair, glowing green eyes, a crown of frozen fire dancing above his head, and the most galaxy-like cloak Dick's ever seen clasped to his shoulders. He's wearing... a hazmat suit? Maybe? The twinkling stars and odd lighting of wherever he is were giving him a bit of a headache.
But in front of those two, within this bubble, was...
"DICK!" Wally shouted with unrestrained glee, a blur overtaking his spot for barely a heartbeat before Dick's stuck in a crushing hug that he reciprocates once his brain stops feeling like its melting.
He doesn't know how long it took for them to calm down, but the man with the crown spoke up after a time, as Wally was still wiping their faces free of tears. "Welcome to the Infinite Realms, Nightwing." Dick barely even registered that he was still wearing his suit, but now it felt suffocating. "I suppose you're the one Clockwork was holding out for; There shouldn't've been enough Ectoplasm around you to form a Ghost, and your physical body's still in space. I can see why you like this one, though, Clockie," he states flippantly, turning to his companion. Almost like he didn't expect Dick to pay too close attention to what he was saying.
"Either way, there's two options for you." The man didn't let Dick swallow his tears and question anything. Dick's not sure if he's grateful or not. "First: Stay in the Realms permanently. You'll see Kid Flash whenever you want and learn to be a Ghost with the denizens of the Realms. Maybe find your parents."
"But..." Dick pulls away from Wally, keeping him at arms length, eyes flitting between them. The two outside the bubble were distinctly... ghost-like, so the mentions of 'Ghosts' make sense. But Wally looked... alive. A bit pale, a bit thin... but alive. Dick can't see any of his own skin to see if it was blue or tinted that way, but the Nightwing symbol on his chest kept flickering between its own blue and this 'Realms' green. "But--What about the others? What about you? Why can't you come home?" The last two, he focuses on Wally, because now he can feel a heartbeat beneath his gloves. Wally's alive. He's alive.
His friend just shrugs. "Something about their portals not fit for the living? I'm meant to wait for someone to figure out a permanent portal, but they won't tell me how long that'll take." Wally glares at the... 'Ghosts'? There was a heat to it, but it also seemed like this was a well-worn argument.
"The permanent portal was always an 'if', Wallace West. And that is entirely dependent on if Richard Grayson takes the second option," the clock Ghost--Clockwork?--speaks up. But instead of the adult Dick was expecting, there was an elderly Ghost in their place. Still with the time motif. Was that... more literal than Dick took it?
"Yes, the second option..." The crowned man glares daggers at Clockwork. The temperature dips below comfortable. Dick tries to blink the spaceship and stars out of his sight, withdrawing his arms from Wally to try and warm himself. Tries to remember he's not in space. "The second option is that you return to your body... changed. You'll be able to protect Earth better, stay with your alive family, save the Lost Ones... for a price."
Dick doesn't know if he should ignore the plural in 'Lost Ones'. He doesn't know if he's reading too much into how, in this Realm, apparently only his parents were able to be found. Where's Jason? He doesn't dare hope, but...
"What's the price?"
The man smiles and a ring of blue forms around his waist. It splits in two and travels up and down his body, replacing the cloak and whatever clothes he was actually wearing with a NASA shirt, worn jeans, and red sneakers actually duct taped together. The blue tint to his otherwise tan skin fades completely. His hair turns black. His eyes turn blue.
He was like a taller, slightly slimmer, way hotter version of Bruce.
The man walks through the bubble, but doesn't disturb the grass beneath his feet. "You become the Ghost King's vassal." Dick flinches away and almost hides behind Wally. "Not my idea! But, well... it is either this, or your permanent death."
"What does becoming a vassal do to him?" Wally asks, gently trying to stop Dick from breaking his ribs with how tightly he was hugging himself. Does he even have ribs?
"He gains my powers. Ice, electricity, invisibility, intangibility, flight... He becomes a Halfa. He becomes what I was, in life. Just... needing to make offerings to me, now and then. Something like that, at least. I give him powers, he gives me a chunk of, I don't know, chocolate once a week. Like a warlock."
Wally keeps talking to the man, keeps getting information that he knows he should pay attention to, but something in his chest screams to accept this deal, and he can't focus on anything else.
Nightwing can protect. He can return to life and go back to BlĂŒdhaven, be the Vigilante they need. He can visit Gotham every now and then, help with cases and stop criminals from harming others. He can see his brother. He can see his friends. He can eat Alfred's cookies, and have little get-togethers with Babs and the Team--hell, he can argue with Bruce.
And all he has to do is... give an offering to this guy? The Ghost King? Every once in a while?
"There's no other price?" The King turns his attention to Dick. His eyes had shifted to a blue-green that almost hypnotize him. The green swirls, the blue forms and melts like snowflakes, and he can't look away.
He takes another step forward and Wally steps to the side. There was familiarity between them. Wally deferred to him. Dick can't quite tell why. Though, with how Wally hasn't once looked at Clockwork, maybe it's because he's... grounded? Are all speedsters in trouble with, what, the Ghost of Time? That... actually makes perfect sense.
"I'll be honest, Nightwing: You've impressed me." The weight behind the King's words lifts the ones that've been on his shoulders since he was nine. "You remind me of myself. Maybe, if I wasn't a Halfa... If I had a mentor... I could've been like you.
"Despite Clockwork's insistence over the years that I get back in touch with the living, I've held off. When he eventually suggested that I help create another Halfa, I locked him in his tower for twenty years. I didn't want anyone to go through what I had. But, now... I see that you won't. You can't. Even if you hide this deal--our shared powers... You'll still have people by your side. Strong people. Smart people. You can already handle yourself. And I'd love to see what you can do--who you can save--with my help."
There was maybe two inches between their faces when the King finishes speaking. Dick roves his eyes across the other's face, trying to find the common and familiar ticks that show lies and deceit and manipulation. All he finds is sincerity and genuine care.
Wally plays with his fingers from the corner of his eye, gaze hopeful as he looks between the two of them. Wally, who was alive and breathing and able to leave if he accepts. Eventually. Somehow.
Dick Grayson sends a quiet apology to his parents and hopes they will forgive him for being a little bit selfish.
"I accept."
He flings his eyes open. Above him, domino mask too wobbly to be properly secured anymore, was Robin crying and begging him to wake up. His hands were sloppily placed over his heart. Batman was trying to drag him away, the firm set of his jaw screaming grief.
Nightwing gasps once he registers his lungs burning.
There's a large cacophony of noise, multiple bright suits and people hounding over him, and the distinct artificial taste of slightly-too-much oxygen that the ship with the Parademons had. That he flew out of and died. He was still too cold.
Someone moves their arm beneath his knees and shoulder and Dick passes out.
(Dick 'Nightwing' Grayson dies in space. Ghost King Danny Phantom likes this too-human Hero. They split their souls in half, take one piece of the others, and all they know is that Phantom is now Nightwing's Patron Deity. Danny uses ice, for electricity killed him. Dick uses electricity, for ice killed him. They are opposites, and yet so incredibly similar. Clockwork was looking forward to when Danny starts putting off his paperwork to hang out with his new 'friend'.)
#i dont think ive seen something like this yet but its been stuck in my mind for like ten months#also i dont see enough death defying so this was like heavily implying that#ive imagined dick just. not telling anyone what happened. even when his powers get a little out of control. he just. like. makes a bowl#of cereal and leaving it on the counter and just saying 'for the. uh. ghost king? lil help?' and thats how danny first shows up again#eventually dick really does wonder bout the lazarus and gets to ra's. sees that one new assassin. ghost sense goes off. hes never had THAT#happen before. confusion. the assassin HESITATES to attack him. oh. oh fuck. jay? oh fuck the dude flinched. GET RA'S OUT HERE NOW DAMNIT#WHATVE YOU DONE TO JAY??? I DONT WANNA HEAR IT. *pulls a tim and explodes something*. JASON WE'RE GOING. just full on grabs the guy and#gets back on the plane. theyre going to blud#at some point in time constantine meets nightwing. takes one look at him. turns around. fucks RIGHT off. tries to never be near him again#1 thats a HALFA hes gonna try and get john in the realms bc o all the soul contracts. 2 hes DRENCHED in 'do not touch belongs to ghost king#and he does NOT FUCK with the ghost king. 3 is that? THE GHOST KING'S RING ON HIS FINGER???#turns out danny gave him that after a particularly good offering that they dont realize counted as courtship. oopsies#dp x dc#dpxdc#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc prompt#dp x dc au#dick grayson#danny fenton#nightwing#death defying ship#halfa dick grayson#dc x dp#dc x dp prompt#dc x dp crossover#vwoopis posts
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kainess x rope (1948)
#blue lock#michael kaiser#alexis ness#kainess#ăă«ăŒăăăŻ#blue lock fanart#blue lock manga#art#fanart#my art#kainess enjoyers do i have a movie for you#i consider the play it was based on a foundational text of toxic yaoi i'm dead serious#ESPECIALLY after 261 this fits them so well if u like kainess go watch rope now NOWWW#(also read the play i'm a useless theatre kid so ofc i'll rec that i directed it last year)#i don't have anything particularly devastating to say in the tags today sorry guys#if u want devastating go read never the sinner it's another play that covers the true story that inspired rope#now THAT one will fuck you up for a good 5-7 business days#happy reading!
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north no.2
#urasawa naoki's pluto#pluto anime#pluto manga#north no.2#i dunno what the main tag for pluto is. pls do let me know#and pls watch the anime adaptation of one of my fav manga of all time. i just watched the first ep and: Its Good#this subplot was done particularly well w the inclusion of music....... snif#art#draws
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The loveliest lies of all
#over the garden wall#otgw#greg otgw#wirt otgw#see guys they're fine and well and recovering#and definitely not dead like my girlfriend said#i like the fics in which wirt is very nervous of losing greg after the unknown so he tries to keep him close#i imagine it would be particularly hard for him during their stay at the hospital#go wirt be a good brother make me proud#hard to make them look like themselves without the stupid hats#luckily jason funderberker has one too
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When is Echo going to give up on Narcissus and go to Camp Half Blood and make some actual friends?
[Echo finds Leo at CHB]
Leo: Do I know you?
Echo: [statement] I know you.
Leo: Really? Did I fight you or something?
Echo: Or something.
Leo: Why do you keep repeating me? Itâs kind of⊠wait!
Leo: [facepalm] Echo! Dang, Iâm sorry! I didnât mean to forget!
Echo: [annoyed] Mean to forget.
Leo: But isnât people forgetting you part of the curse?
Echo: [shrugs, resigned] Part of the curse.
Leo: Girl, we have got to get you some text-to-speech tech.
Echo: Text-to-speech tech?
Leo: Come on, I think Chironâs got a smartphone.
Echo: Smartphone?
Leo: [laughs, starts to lead her away] Now whoâs asking all the questions?
Echo: [firmly] Questions.
#percy jackson#heroes of olympus#hoo leo#leo valdez#hoo echo#seriously am I forgetting something that happened or is she still out there somewhere#edit: sign language is a great idea#Leo knows so many languages already though that I donât know if he has room in his brain to learn another one#or maybe heâd be particularly good at it#anyway I think itâs in character that his first idea is to help her with technology
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I would find it so funny if Bruce Wayne, who has an ironic and slightly ridiculous disdain for the occult, had to grapple with his kids' deep belief in the occult. For instance, if one of their siblings went missing with no leads, Bruce would insist on a new search strategy while the kids would be convinced they should at least consult a medium once to get proof of life. The medium would call out Batman for his shitty energy and Bruce would contemplate all the life decisions that led to this.
#Based on that delightful event when Agatha Christie went missing and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle consulted a psychic or something#Good work dude (you were a phenomenal case breaker and yet)#Like let's consider this#Dick Grayson worked with Raven for years and clearly has some supernatural/occult related beliefs and was a vampire (just go with it)#Jason was resurrected/has an affinity for Gotham's gargoyles and clearly one with Gotham's eldritchiness#Damian grew up in Nanda Parbat and probably learned loads about it#I can really only see Tim and Cass being particularly against it#Steph is likely ambivalent but amused by Bruce's reaction#(i don't know Tim that well do not come after me)#Babs knows too much to wholesale discount the occult#dc comics#batman#bruce wayne#batfamily#batfam headcanons
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cant stop thinkin bout charles and erik readin together on the couch but instead of reading with him charles is listening to eriks thoughts while he reads. Live mind commentary âŠâŠ..
#xmen#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#snap chats#the rare time i post an idea of mine only because i really cant think of a way id draw this#usually i hoard my ideas cause i like surprising you guys but this aint really one i feel like drawing so. For You my friends#like i COULD but. idk just isnt particularly something im itching to draw it just seems cute#but anyways no chat let me cook alright hear me out cause i talk in my brain all the time while i read#sometimes i stop reading just to think about a bit i read yeah#i want charles to listen in on all of eriks side comments or observations he makes while reading something#like if he wanted to charles could read the whole book in less than five minutes- maybe shorter than that#and that aint fun that aint cool âŠ. so time for Audible: Husband Edition. With Commentary#ITD BE SO COZY just hangin out by the fireplace âŠ. maybe its snowin outisde ⊠if snow even exists anymore atp#a light fire cracklin and the study SEEMS totally quiet otherwise and yetâŠ..#charles has been locked in to erikâs off-the-cuff literary analysis and mild comments for the past twenty minutes. its simple but its bliss#charles doesnt have to worry about being seen as invasive .. he doesnt have to suppress his powers âŠ#the rare occasion erik lets charles into his mind for somethin so innocent .. ive made myself sick i fear#see now i wanna try writing a fic but 1.) have written in years 2.) id have to really think hard on how erik would commentate on a book#hmâŠâŠ actually i do wonder what erikâs commentary on The Fable of the Bees would be âŠ..#IN ANY CASE. maybe - at the very least- i can draw cherik by the fireplce someday âŠ.#thatd be cute ⊠hm âŠ. depends on if i get in the mood for it down the line#anyways i have to drive back to my dorm !!! boo !!!! so good night everyone !!!!!
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Kingdom Hearts 3 - Lich
#kingdom hearts 3#kh3#lich#heartless#my gif#wanted to gif some spooky looking heartless and this seemed like a good one to start with#some pureblood heartless have the design motif of having a hollow heart-shaped cavity in their body#but this one looks particularly visceral as if its heart was ripped out or even exploded out of its chest#it looks like a fresh open wound#i suppose it makes sense that a heartless like this would have pink accent colors to resemble a heart but i feel like there's more to it#there's a sadness to its expression which isn't something that's present in other heartless
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You know, i've been thinking about the way Batman keeps danger and weapons so close to his body, so tight to himself, practically tied around his neck, that joker often has no way left but to grab for him if he wants something Batman has. Batman does not want to be left out of Joker's plans, his story, he wants in on Joker's narrative by any means he can make it happen. It's such particular "you take me with you wherever you are, it's your punishment, just as it's my punishment to take you with me wherever i am" statement. Batman actively leaves no choice for Joker but to get very very close to him and claim him as part of his win or his loss. I mean,
he didn't have to. he could've put the key in one of his waist pouches, push it into the back of his left boot, he could've tied it around his bicep, i dont careâ he could've done whateverthefuck with it. But he had to put it around his neck, and intentionally invite Joker to "come and get it". Something something classic cliche of the way lovers' bond is signified by a necklace-adjacent item and the way they interact with it; hold unto it, toss it, tie it around their necks, giving it back, not giving it back, necklaces as items of reverance and revenge. Something something a tie around neck being a sign of being claimed and owned,
#this is the first night in 2 months where i got good sleep of course i woke up and had batjokes popping on my brain screen#''99+ unread emails'' style#the whole invitation thing is. certainly something#i mean bro. a ''you will take that wish to the grave with you'' would do just fine or#or ''you will not have it.''#Bruce wants his fights alright. He's uneasy with being left out of things often but he's particularly uneasy#with being left out of Joker's narrative#and it's far less about him ''being the only one strong enough to deal with him'' than he'd like to admit#batjokes#batjokes meta#Batman#Batman meta
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âI'm being led on by an oblivious straight girl.â
KATO SHIHO as AYAKA and MORI KANNA as HIROKO episode 1 of AYAKA IS IN LOVE WITH HIROKO
#ayaka is in love with hiroko#ayaka chan wa hiroko senpai ni koishiteru#japanese gl#wlw#kato shiho#mori kanna#ćœ©éŠăĄăăăŻćŒćć
茩ă«æăăŠă#jp: ayaka is in love with hiroko!#this is particularly good for me bc you see#we had she loves to cook she loves to eat and that is super domestic and very adult in the sense that the conversations are mature#chaser game w was dramatic with one ex coming back to make her ex partner's life a hell (and failing miserably)#now this? this is pure japanese comedy#it reminds me of mr. unlucky has no choice but to kiss in some ways#and i mean i went in with no expectations but it's pretty cute and unserious#lesbians deserve to have nonsensical as well i love that#also kind of love that japan doesn't shy away from using the word lesbian too#bibi gifs
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(this isn't a question about the best p&p adaptation ever, it is simply which you prefer OUT OF THESE TWO OPTIONS since they are the two most commonly talked about and compared!!)
#i didn't really talk about it when i watched it because i know the 1995 version is precious and beloved to many people (which i respect)#but i personally think it just doesn't hold a candle to the 2005 version#i know it's more directly book accurate but for me that's not a priority in an adaptation#if i want to spend several hours on a book accurate experience i'll just listen to the audiobook#so for me if it's a screen adaptation then visuals are key and 2005 is so beautiful whereas 1995 isn't particularly special in that regard#i also prefer the casting personally in terms of chemistry and on screen presence but i acknowledge that's partly just because we're usuall#attached to whichever cast we're first familiar with#anyway none of this is to actually dunk on the miniseries of course and it goes without saying that all p&p is good p&p!#just curious what the split is (and wanted to separate the options for only seeing one since i imagine more people have seen 2005)#polls
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Fancy camera moves in Good Omens Season 2
- a gifset to make you seasick
#good omens#david tennant#michael sheen#good omens 2#good omens season 2#jon hamm#crowley and aziraphale#crowley#aziraphale#a gifset to make you seasick#this isn't even all of them#goodomensedit#ineffable husbands#stuff i posted#the mail slot one is particularly cute#but i like the 2 swoop-down-from-above ones too#very cool camera moves#stress testing the gif size limit
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you don't need a sous vide machine to sou vie! all you need is some plastic freezer bags and like, a cheap digital thermometer (and a pot for water). you might need to get finicky by adding water to the pot during the process to keep the water a consistent temp.
You: Ah, yes, Egg Guy! Guy who ate 15 raw eggs! Wow! Hey, you seem extremely reasonable and controlled and ludicrously hinged. Like, 20 goddamn hinges on you. More hinges than a door store. May I recommend carefully putting eggs in a bag, putting a thermometer in water, then boiling the egg bag while watching it carefully whilst it rises to temperature? Also keep in mind that any significant mistake in this process will simply result in the worlds largest and least appetizing hardboiled egg clusterfuck.
Me: Oh wow, what a wonderful idea. By the way, I seem to have dropped my pen. Yes, here, on the side of the line that says "Stand Back - He Bites." Yes, it refers to someone else. Yes, I am very scared he'll come back while I'm still in range. All the more reason for you to be a good chap and pick up the pen for me. That's right. Perfect.
Perfect.
#the one responses more unhinged are the ones from people telling me to visit japan just to eat raw eggs#âoh yeah i'll fly halfway across the fucking world for an eggâ#âvery reasonableâ#why not make a pit stop in fucking greece for an olive too#visit india for one single mango#fuck you#i mean i love tumblr and i love you guys but also fuck you#and fuck your egg advice#i passed quantum mechanics#i am a radiation hardness engineer#my failures at not from a lack of knowledge#and frankly knowledge will not save the world#when i am bad#(and i am frequently bad)#it is not because i do not know good from evil#it is because at that moment i did not want good#i wanted evil#and i got it#and i sucked its yolk out#and if you can't imagine a world where people with knowledge and capability choose to be idiots sometimes#then you cannot imagine this world#which is not even a particularly interesting world to imagine#do better#love you all again#cannot emphasize the love enough#but i will kill the next person that tells me how to eat eggs#i will#do not test me#babylon-shitpost
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