#but it’s late and I’ve no energy to draw something better

[voidoffline]

@blackkatdraws your toon x Mobster characters reminded me of some other gay dudes from the qsmp. Charlie (goopy guy) and Mariana

Jack and Charlie would get along well I think

Gavriel and Mariana however I do not think would get along. (also don’t let Mariana looking like an angel fool you. He has committed great crimes)

[lupinsweater]

Teacher!James Potter x Single Mom!Reader 💌 1.3k words

thank you to @moonpascal to beta reading for me!

♡ ~ ♡ ~ ♡ ~ ♡ ~ ♡

You hated running late to things.

It wasn’t your fault this time- Charlie’s sitter had been a few minutes late, and then he had thrown a tantrum about you going to his school without bringing him along. You tried explaining over and over that it was just a boring meeting for grown-ups- no fun, no snacks, and nothing he'd enjoy- but Charlie wasn't having it. Eventually, the sitter lured him away with the promise of cartoons, and you finally slipped out the door, already running five minutes behind. Cursing to yourself as you started your car, you did your best to avoid breaking any traffic laws as you hustled to the school. You made it there in record time, parking your car and running into the building. You weren’t sure what to expect from parent-teacher night, but Charlie has been talking about his teacher, Mr. Potter, non-stop since school started.

You were grateful for the signs as you navigated down the hall and into your son’s classroom. There was a small table outside the door with some empty name tag sticker sheets- one sticker was left, and Charlie’s name was written on it. You grabbed it and stuck it onto the front of your shirt, then nervously smoothed out your shorts, mentally slapping yourself for not putting on something a little nicer. You slipped through the cracked classroom door, trying to avoid drawing attention to yourself.

The other parents were seated at the tiny desks, chatting amongst themselves. At the front of the room, a tall, broad-shouldered man was laughing with a couple of parents. His dark curls were slightly messy, like he’d run his hands through them a few times too many. He wore a light blue shirt, the sleeves casually rolled up to his elbows in a way that showed off his surprisingly muscular arms, and he was gesturing animatedly as he talked. He must be Charlie’s teacher.

“Ah! Mrs. Y/L/N, right?”

The moment you heard his voice, your heart skipped a beat. He was looking right at you, his smile wide and genuine. You weren’t expecting to be called out like this, especially not in front of a room full of people. He made his way over to you, his eyes lighting up as if he was greeting an old friend.

“You must be Charlie’s mom!” he said, his voice full of energy. “I’ve been hoping to meet you.”

For a second, you were thrown off by his friendliness. Most teachers you’d met were polite, sure, but there was something different about him. Something warmer.

“Yeah, that’s me,” you replied, chuckling awkwardly as you offer your hand. “And it’s just Ms, actually. No other parent.”

“Oh, sorry! James Potter,” he said, shaking your hand with a firm but friendly grip. His eyes lingered on yours for just a beat longer than you’d expected. “But you probably already know that from Charlie. I swear, the kids are better at introducing me than I am. They’ve got me pegged already, bad jokes and all.”

You laughed, feeling your shoulders relax a little. “Charlie hasn’t mentioned any bad jokes yet, so I think you’re safe.”

James grinned, flashing a playful look. “Good to know. I’ve got a reputation to protect, after all.” His tone was light and teasing, but there was an easy confidence in the way he talked. “I hope he’s told you at least one good thing about me. I’ve been trying to bribe them with extra recess, so my odds should be good.”

“He’s been pretty complimentary, actually. I don’t think you need the extra recess,” you said with a small smile, putting your hands in your pockets. His eyes followed your movements slightly, but they focused back on your face quickly.

“That’s a relief,” James said softly, smiling at you like you were sharing a secret. “Though, knowing Charlie, I’m sure he’s a tough critic. He’s one of those kids who doesn’t miss a thing.”

“That sounds about right,” you replied, smiling. “He knows me better than I know myself. And he’s always asking questions.”

James grinned. “Same here. He’s a curious one—loves to figure out how everything works. I love that about him. Honestly, kids like Charlie make teaching fun. It keeps me on my toes.” You smiled as he continued. “But listen, if he ever asks me to explain quantum physics, I’m sending him right back to you. That one’s above my pay grade.”

You giggled, shaking your head. “Don’t worry, I’m not even sure I could handle that one.”

“Good to know we’re on the same page.” He winked, and there was something about the way he did it that caught you off guard—like he’s flirting, but in a way that feels easy and unforced. “How are you holding up? I know kindergarten can be a big adjustment for parents, too,” James said suddenly.

You blinked, surprised by the question. You weren’t prepared for him to be asking about your wellbeing too. “I’m managing,” you said with a small smile. “Work’s been busy, so…”

“Tell me about it,” James interrupted seriously, feigning a winded look. “I swear, I’m late to my own classroom half the time. You should see me in the mornings—I’m running around like a headless chicken just trying to beat the bell.”

You laughed again, feeling more comfortable. “Really? I’d peg you as a guy who has it all put together.”

“Ha! If only,” he said, shaking his head with mock exasperation. “Trust me, it’s all smoke and mirrors. But hey, as long as I’ve had my coffee, I’m halfway there.”

The way he talked—so easy and natural—made you forget you were in a room full of other parents, some of whom were probably annoyed by your ongoing conversation. He wasn’t just making small talk; he was making you feel like you belonged there, like you weren’t just Charlie’s mother, but someone worth knowing.

“I get it,” you said with a sympathetic smile. “It’s hard enough being a single mother. I can’t imagine being in charge of that many five year olds, even if it’s only for part of the day.”

“Well, it sounds like you’re doing an amazing job,” James said, his voice softening, and suddenly, you realized how closely he was looking at you. You felt yourself blush as he said, “Charlie’s a special kid, and that’s all you.”

You weren’t used to compliments like that. Especially not from someone who was looking at you the way James was at that moment. “Thanks,” you managed, your voice a little quieter than before. “That means a lot.”

“Of course. And, hey, if you ever need an extra hand—or someone to vent to about the chaos of kindergarten life—you know where to find me,” James said with a lopsided smile. His tone was light, but there was something in his eyes that lingered, something that made you feel like he was genuinely offering more than just a teacher’s support.

You felt a flicker of something unfamiliar—something you hadn’t felt in a long time. Was he… interested? Or were you reading too much into this?

Before you could dwell on it, James clapped his hands together and turned to address the rest of the room. “Alright, folks! Let’s get this show on the road. I promise to keep it short, but if you’ve got any good stories to share, I’m all ears. I’m a sucker for a good tangent.”

The parents chuckled, and you found a seat, still feeling the warmth from your conversation with him. James was everything you had hoped he would be—open, friendly, funny. And the way he looked at you…you couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe, something in your life was about to change.

[celestialtarot11]

Why people can’t get enough of you 🪽🤍

Hi friends! We’ll be looking at your astrology chart more in depth to decipher why people can’t get enough of you! This doesn’t just relate to physical aspects—but more so how you carry yourself. Feel free to like reblog & comment to spread love

Leo—The way your eyes burn with passion and sparkle with enthusiasm for the things you love enamors people. People feel like they could listen to you talk about your path, your journey to creating who you are. You’re inspirational. Your words inspire others to become a better version of themselves and when people are with you, you help them to unconsciously alchemize any wounds related to their inner child. You help them feel safe unconsciously, which is why they view you as authentic and genuine—thus making them irresistibly attracted to you. You awaken something primal in people so they can make an active change in their lives. A shot of espresso truly. You’re like a flurry of soft energy yet its powerful enough to leave people scrambling behind you—all puppy like and following your lead. You have then on the tip of their toes and they don’t even realize it until its too late.

Cancer—the knowledge you harbor about your emotional world is so attractive. The way you understand duality, logic vs intuition, trauma vs healing, and the way you articulate your healing experiences is what draws people in. You may already participate in some form of manifestation in your life, and people can feel that luminary charm you carry. You’re like a siren on a dark night, sharp and all seeing yet graceful. People feel when they’re with you, you soothe yet awaken something so deep in them. It scares people, because most of them don’t understand what is changing within them unconsciously when they’re with you. It’s because you inspire them to think deeply beyond surface level awareness. People may find it easy to talk to you, opening up or sharing something deep within the first meeting, because your energy is inviting them to alchemize their wounds.

Scorpio—Your energy is infectious. I’ve noticed scorpios with this placement are pretty open and have a sarcastic kind of humor. People are attracted to the way you banter and how you do it effortlessly. It’s easy—laughter, joy, and yet they feel like they don’t completely know you when they’re with you. They feel as though you’re like fog, hard to grab yet it’s right there. Always dissipating. But that makes it even more exciting, right? People like to think they know you—until you do something that doesn’t fit in their narrative. They may find you even more complex, and driven by the things they don’t understand about you, they fall into your charm. Easy. You have them in your grasp just by remaining a mystery.

Capricorn—Your dedication, hard work and ability to remain steady in what you do is attractive. If placed in the first house you take care of yourself with a sense of dedication and respect. There is something luxurious to your energy. Like you’re the best, top up there is. And people feel as though they miss out on your rich valuables experiences you give only to those you trust. Your inner circle is small which is why people on the outside want in. They want to be apart of your circle and secret garden. But you know your worth and people know you have a sharp eye. This is something people admire yet find themselves crumbling at—because they know if they want to talk to you they better have their shit together. They can’t come to you playing games. God/goddess energy. You bring them to their knees and people fantasize about you taking control.

Sagittarius—There is something heavier about your energy that people feel drawn to. Although ruled by Jupiter, your influence is felt heavily. So is your presence. There is something uncanny about the way you carry yourself, and I mean more so eerie. The way you talk as if you know more yet choose to not say it, the looks you give when you know there is more to it yet you remain private about it. People catch on and form an interest towards you. What’s your intentions? Goals? Ambitions? People may see you working random hours or doing something they didn’t think you’d be doing—which only garners their interest. People just want to know what’s going on in that head of yours. You’re driven by your intuition and instincts, yet you remain razor sharp logically. Your mind works like a piston and people are attracted to your ability to analyze situations with ease.

Virgo—You’re here to have a good time, a lot of people know this. Your open energy is what makes it easy to talk to you and get to know you. The thing is, people find themselves leaving your conversations confused. Confused because they felt they were getting to know you yet only end up with more questions. This is because you’re multi-dimensional. You’re multi-faceted. You’re quick with banter and teasing, and suddenly you’re looking out the window with a somber expression explaining your theories of life (lol love you virgos) and yet people are captivated by both your sides. Your airy, loopy and sweet side, and this grounded, analytical presence you have. This part of you that becomes sentimental to understand life is so precious and pure, and yet it’s there due to working through years of trauma. It’s like you’ve alchemized your bitterness into molasses and people want more. More of your authentic pureness, your somberness. They feel as though they’re in a movie with you.

Pisces—When people thought they knew you they were completely incorrect. People usually deem you as quiet, meek, or complacent. But then they get into your little world and they are met with surprise. Either you’re really great at a certain skill, and they’ve clearly underestimated you because of your ability to hide and scurry—and now when they see you. In all your glory, it’s as if people are dumbstruck. This is what pulls them in. They begin to understand all these different parts of you, and the thing is you may end up confused by yourself, surprised even. Because when you’re with people they bring different parts of you out. So every time you’re with someone it’s never the same experience. It’s always unique. They will never find you in anyone else. It’s hard to replicate the moments and memories with you, which is why people cling to you and stay in your energy. People appreciate your multi faceted nature and realize they can’t take you for granted, it would be a huge mistake. A huge error on their part because there is nothing else comparable to your energy.

Aquarius—People, when they look at you they know something is different. Something is unique. You’ve figured out, or you’re experimenting with a style. A way of speaking, a way of coordinating yourself. Maybe it’s your cultural background. There is something unmistakably “put together,” about you, even if you understand nothing in your life is necessarily that way. The thing is you may understand you’re a mere human being yet when others look at you there’s a sense of otherworldliness. I think it’s because you’ve seen many dimensions and eras in your life. The deepest parts of your hurt and shame, to the parts that have healed. You carry all of that in you like a moving picture, that changes over time. And in every frame you change subtly. So when people look at you—they see painting in progress yet complete and whole. When people are talking to you, they find themselves gaping, star struck at your wisdom and your thoughts. People think, before I met you, I always used to do this thing one way until I met you. I used to think this way until I met you. You are like a star in the dark night.

Gemini—You are like a fairy tale come alive. Quizzical, in character and buoyant with this joy to see the world. Even though it’s just the day apart from yesterday. People may look at you and admire your thirst for understanding the world. Yet you know there is something so much deeper than what meets the eyes. So you like to observe, analyze, all whilst hiding your trump card up your sleeve. Because you’re smart. And I think people underestimate this completely—your deep black hole of a mind. Until you decide to show that side. To see their reaction, to test the waters. People feel scrutinized under you, yet can’t help but enjoy it. The way you look at them, the way you analyze them like they’re prey. They like your attention to detail. They are drawn to you because there’s this sense of authority around you. And they know it’s because you’re smart and intelligent, and they feel like a fool for underestimating you. They’re attracted and want to know more, and it humbles them. People feel humbled when they’re around you. Its the way you communicate effectively and precisely yet throw in a joke or two. Easy. And people admire your fluid sense of communication. And the cadence of your voice, your expressive eyes. All of it.

Aries—People are attracted to you because of your ability to sit back and enjoy, yet get to work and grind. You’re not afraid of getting your hands dirty, and people find this liberating. They find it liberating to be around you because they don’t feel judged in doing the same. There is a sense of wearing your heart on your sleeve even if it’s been hurt. Your resilience in accepting what was—and honoring your imperfections is what inspires others. Your sense of accomplishment, purpose, and freedom is what inspires others too. Your authority and need to be on-top is also what instills fear in others, because they know stepping on your toes won’t end pretty. People are attracted to your efficiency, your energy. It’s like fireworks. Sparkling yet looming and ominously beautiful. It comes with a thunder too. So people are attracted to the way you take up space without an apology. Authentically being yourself. Thriving in your communities.

Taurus—Ever so slow and calculating. Yet undeniably beautiful and effortless. Your charm is what sways others first, they are called in by your presence. There is a sense of boldness yet undeniable gentleness in the way you handle your heart. And people are attracted to both sides of you. The grounded, stern and reasoning side. And the side that nurtures and holds space, and allows for growth. You’re like spring. Sewing in the seeds for a better future, laying down beds of soil. Letting the sun shine. Letting yourself rain when ready. People admire your process of growth and healing, and find themselves also feeling safe to experience their growth around you too. Your words of wisdom are strong and hold a sense of firmness. It feels unshakeable. This comforts others because it sounds less of a question, and more of a statement. You’re affirming what people like to hear. And it’s smart. Because it works. People are attracted to you like moths to a flame. I think apart of you is very good with your word, you say it when you mean it, and only say it when necessary. So people find themselves wanting to know more of your thoughts. What is your view on xyz, because there is something poetic about how you speak too.

Libra—Your sense of freedom is what draws people in. Your ability to let loose and bring down peoples walls is powerful. When people are around you they feel as though you are a social butterfly. You’re always engaged in something even if it’s small. You’re apart of some community and people view you as intelligent, loyal to your work, and yet sweet and funny. People find themselves gravitating to your open energy because when they are with you, they feel they can put their cards on the table. And sometimes you think it’s their mistake of being so open, because now you can read them. Now you can understand them deeper. And although you radiate an open energy, there is still something undeniably unbridled and unsettling about you. Maybe it’s the look you give people when you realized you caught onto something they said, whereas others ignore it. Maybe it’s in the way you discreetly make a joke about your life, and people find themselves asking for clarification. Only for you to hide it. People are drawn to the personas you play at work, and in social settings. They feel as though there is something more to you yet can’t put their tongue on it.

Thanks sm for reading yall! Very poetic post 👀 in the meantime I’ve rested up pretty well during the weekend indulging in leon kennedy edits lmao. My man. Enjoy yall.

Extra

Paid readings 🤍

[reallchristine]

ENERGY ─ chapter three

pairing: logan howlett x !f!reader

Set during x-men (2000) and X2

warnings: angst, bad grammar?😭, basically the plot of the first movie!!!

previous chapter <- -> next chapter

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You tried staying calm at the thought of what Magneto was going to do with Rogue.

Your reflection showing in the mirror of Logan’s bathroom as you stood beside the professor. You don’t need to be psychic to know that Logan’s worried, his expression says it all.

You watch as he splashes his face with cold water and pats his skin dry afterwards, before tossing the towel onto the side aggressively.

You exchange a look with the man beside you before turning to speak to Logan.

“Logan-”

“You said he wanted me.” He said firmly.

There’s a pause before the professor speaks up.

“I made a terrible mistake. His helmet was somehow designed to block my telepathy.” Charle’s averts his eye’s away from Logan, “I couldn’t see what he was after till it was too late.”

Logan stands there for a moment before walking toward’s the door.

“Where are you going?” You question him, confused. “I’m going to find her.” He replies grabbing his leather jacket before heading out.

“How?” The professor ask’s.

“The traditional way: look.” Logan answers walking out of the room as you follow.

“You can’t just do this alone.” You say, trying to catch up with him. “Who’s gonna help me? You? So far, you’ve all done a bang-up job.” He replies with a scoff.

“Then help us. Fight with us.” You tell him, stopping as he turns to face you.

“Fight with you? Join the team? Be an X-man?” He say’s as he continues, “who the hell do you think you are? You’re a mutant. The whole world out there is full of people that hate and fear you and you’re wasting your time trying to protect them.”

You stare him for a moment, clenching your fist’s, before replying, “It’s not a waste of time.”

you take a breath before you continue, “Even though the world hates and fears us, there’s still some good amongst all of that, I know there is,” You look down at your feet as your voice almost gets caught up in your throat, before you look up at him again.

“Which is why they’re worth protecting.”

You take a step closer, trying to find some understanding in his eyes, “You don’t need to be a X-man to fight for something that’s right.”

He scoffs, looking away and shaking his head, “I got better things to do.”

He walks away towards the door of the mansion before turning to face you again, “you know Magneto’s right. There’s a war coming. Are you sure you’re on the right side?”

“At least I’ve chosen a side.” You reply.

Logan doesn’t retort back. Instead, he turns back around, opening the door, but before he could walk out, he’s met with Senator Kelly already at the door, who looks to be out of breath.

“I’m looking for doctor Jean Grey.” The senator say’s gasping for air, before collapsing into Logan’s arms.

──

You now stood in the professors office as an unsettling worried feeling grows in your stomach.

Logan paces the room, while Scott and Jean take a seat on the chair.

“The machine emits radiation that triggers mutation in ordinary human beings.” Charles states to all of you.

“But the mutation is unnatural. Kelly’s body is rejecting it” Jean discusses as she continues “-his cells began to break down immediately.”

“What effect does it have on mutants?” Scott asks, worriedly.

“There appears to be none. But I fear it will harm any normal person exposed to it.” The professor answers shifting his gaze.

Logan stops his pacing, his voice cutting through the room as he speaks, “so what does Magneto want with Rogue?”

“I don’t know.” The professor admits, shaking his head.

Logan only grows more frustrated as he continues to pace across the room again.

“Wait a second,” Scott say’s lifting his head to look at the professor. “You said this machine draws its powers from Magneto, and that it weakened him.”

“Yes,” Charles replies with a hint of realization in his voice. “In fact it nearly killed him.”

Logan’s steps stop, as it all clicks in his mind. “He’s going to transfer his powers to Rogue and use her to power the machine.”

The professors eyes widen, a sense of urgency filling his thoughts as he waste no time to speak.

“Cyclops, you and storm ready the Jet. Jean come with me, I’m going to find Rogue. And Y/n, get yourself and Logan a uniform.”

Usually you would speak up hearing those word’s but, you did promise Ororo you would come along for the next mission.

“Wait a minute,” Scott’s speaks, interfering with what the professor was saying, as well as your thoughts. “He’s not coming with us, is he?” The tone of his voice sounding more irritated than usual.

“Yes.” Charles quickly answers.

Scott turns his head in slight disbelief. “I’m sorry professor but he’ll endanger the mission and-”

“I’m not the one who gave the train station a new sunroof, pal.” Logan says, cutting Scott off.

Scott turns to face him, “No, you were the one who stabbed Rogue through the chest.”

“Scott,” you warn him, the tension in the room rising.

Logan steps closer, quickly shooting back. “Why don’t you take your little mission and stick it up your-”

Before he could finish, Ororo bursts into room. “Senator Kelly is dead,”

you quietly gasp, your hand flying to cover your mouth.

The room is silent.

“I’m going to find her.” The professor says turning his head to Scott, “Settle this.”

Scott nods as the professor leaves the room, Jean following behind him.

──

You rush to Cerebro along with Scott and Logan. The metal doors sliding open revealing Jean hunched over Charles on the floor.

Your eyes widen at the sight. “Charles,” you utter; your voice sounding weaker as you crouch beside Jean to help.

The feeling in your stomach only grows bigger when you look at the professor; monitors hooked up to his body as he lays on the table unconscious.

“I’m sorry.” Logan apologizes, staring at you and Scott before turning. You look back to say something only to see that Logan left.

Scott tenses up, only looking at the professor before him as he raises his fist against his chin.

You look at Scott, hesitating before you leave the room to look for Logan.

Stepping out the elevator you see him about to leave the mansion, “Logan,” you call, catching up to him.

“Where are you going?” You ask. Logan stops and faces you, “I was just going to get some air.”

“Oh, okay.” You mutter.

He continues his way outside as you trail behind him. You watch as Logan stops at the step of the mansion, taking a seat on the stairs.

“You following me now?” He speaks, not bothering to turn around. He reaches in his pocket, pulling out a cigar and lighter.

“No,” you shrug, moving to sit beside him. “Just wanted to get some air too.”

He looks at you as you offer a small smile in return. He scoffs, a smug look slightly showing on his face.

You watch as he turns to light his cigar.

“You know Rogue is in my class,” you say, trying to start a conversation.

“Oh, yeah?” He replies, taking a puff of his cigar.

“She’s a sweet girl.” You tell him.

It’s silent for a moment before you speak up again.

“I talked to her before the whole train station and magneto incident.” You tell him.

“About what?” He asks you.

You turn to him and smile, “I told her that we want her here at the mansion, that she deserves to be at this school.”

He stares at you, opening his mouth to speak before Scott comes up behind you two.

“We found something.” Scott says looking at you.

You quickly stand up while Logan puts out his cigar as you both follow Scott back into the mansion.

All of you enter the room, seeing that Ororo and Jean are both already there.

“Magneto is here, Liberty Island.” Scott says as the table contorts into Liberty Island. “Presumably his objective is to mutate the world leaders at the summit on Ellis Island.”

Ororo speaks with her arms crossed as she stares at the map. “He doesn’t know his machine kills, and judging from what the professor saw if Magneto gave Rogue enough power-”

“He could wipe out everyone in New York City.” Jean says in realization, cutting off Ororo.

“All right.” Scott starts. “We can insert here at the George Washington Bridge. Come around the bank, just off of Manhattan, land on the far side of Liberty Island, here.” The map moving as he finishes.

“What about harbor patrol? Radar?” Logan questions, his voice stern.

Scott turns to Logan with a sarcastic smile, “if they have anything that can pick up our jet, they deserve to catch us.”

Logan doesn’t bother to reply, instead he just looks up at him with a straight face.

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an ─ it took me a couple of days to finish this chapter since I’ve just been so busy but I managed😝🙏 anyways mind the mistakes I haven’t gotten the chance to proof read this yet so yeah!! Also my taglist keeps getting messed up so I’ll fix that soon hopefully😭

🏷️: @cxptainbuck @thecraziestcrayon @marvelgirlie-4 @ravenslvt @malfoys-demigod @byhuenii @evanpetersmood @avatarobsessedgirly @kinokomoonshine @heysupersoldier @imjustatiredpersonsposts @deaky-with-a-c @needz1nk

[gwydion-aacblog]

hi gwydion, how can non-aac users help to include aac users in conversation better? i’ve seen multiple aac users say they often feel left out because of how much time it takes to find the right words and the conversation moves too quickly.

give time figure out answer , in general .

do not get annoy if answer something late after topic change . 

if in group , please try not let people split and start different conversation . patience key to not make AAC user feel like burden for others .

understand if AAC say something in wrong way , AAC user do not have way to change this . not have tone of voice , can not control emphasis or speed , and pronunciation can be hard work with . if suddenly get frustrate , that might be why . some people can sign , draw , or gesture to clarify , but not all can , and this depend on situation . so please be nice and try ask questions that easy yes or no answer if sudden frustrate . do not look at screen unless have permission .

long messages can be very frustrate if need repeat . this maybe different in other AAC , but in proloquo2go can not go back and change message after type , and that also means can not cut out start just to say end again . with proloquo2go technically possible to copy message text , erase extra part , then speak that , but again : not always thing everyone can do , and maybe different in other AAC . 

please do not start talk as soon as hear pause . this frustrate so much because people hear pause for one second and start talk again , when gwydion not actually done yet , voice is just slow . then talk over AAC and whine that gwydion need say again , which , back to above . ( if even realise at all … )

do not assume something wrong if AAC user choose not use device , because , can be very hard and sometimes really not need spend time and energy on make people hear device say " yes i like that " when could just nod . but at same time , try listen and make sure have place in conversation , with time to answer and feel safe answer , if that make sense .

[jojo-schmo]

Vent comic.

I just needed to express some of the inner dialogue I’ve been having a lot of lately. I’m trying to process things on pencil and paper so they don’t swirl in my head so much and it does help a bit.

The reason I’m sharing something personal like this is because it feels more genuine to me, to share why I slowed down so much on posts for a while here.

I wouldn’t call this burnout. Because I still have the energy and desire to draw, and I get enjoyment out of it. I guess I’ve been having these moments of self-doubt and frustration about my skill levels and I’m sure others have felt this too, right?

My free time is too short and it makes me angry and sad sometimes. And I get annoyed when the final product doesn’t match what my vision is in my head. I get impatient. I want the end result to be easier to get to. I want to be proud of a fully finished piece of art but I haven’t been able to make one for too long.

I just kinda feel like a nobody that needs to hurry up and learn a skill so I can contribute something worthwhile to the world.

It’s something I’m working on actively. I will be totally fine someday. But I still want to be vulnerable here for a second and just express my feelings briefly in hopes I can get a little closer to feeling better again.

And when that happens, I’ll be able to continue doing my best. I’m looking forward to that.

[theeternalwombtarot]

energy update 🧿: 8/18/23

Things are getting real out here for real so I decided I’d give you guys an energy update and some guidance from spirit because I’m sure they’d be helpful and you’d find some peace in this reading today. So many things are shifting, we’re all undergoing so many changes and experiences and I pride myself in my ability to bring people guidance, help them understand what’s going on, confirm their intuition, and validate their experiences and beliefs. In my own life, I’ve got a very intricate and complex story of my own that I live with and alchemize to the best of my ability and draw my power and motivation from to continue striving forward and striving towards better. I want many things in life but what I want most on a soul level is a better world and I live my life every day setting forth the energy and taking actions that resonate with that goal.

When things get hard for you and you feel alone or like you’re the only person on the planet that is struggling or having a hard time to the extent that you are take power and peace from the important fact that as a collective we move through these energies and challenges together and are always in connection with another. Not to invalidate yourself and find proof that there are others in the world who are suffering as well therefore your problems are worth less but to validate yourself in knowing that we are a collective and we are breathing and pushing through this as one. 🤎

***

i.

I see you purging a lot of internal energies here pile one. There’s an energy here of someone coughing up a lot of stuff they’ve had within themselves buried deep for a long time or a lot of things really coming to the surface they hadn’t seen in themselves before or things they hadn’t seen in themselves in a really long time. And all of this is coming up for a good reason because you can’t take it with you into the next step of your life. Things could feel very unstable for you at this time as well. There are a lot of insecurities coming to the surface here and maybe even aspects of someone’s shadow self and they’re really taken aback by this or are unaware of where these things are coming from. You could be experiencing a lot of shame lately as well attached to certain habits you have or there are self-limiting beliefs attached to your relationships and connections and the way you show up in them or in the way you think of these people or your connection with them.

There’s something about this energy that I’m having a hard time tapping into and really truly understanding. It seems to be like you’ve been in a very confused energy. This hurtle you’re getting over is very large and complex. I’m hearing something about someone’s home life as well being significant within this part of their lives or even just foundations in their life. People who’ve been around you a long time (ex. Parents, friends, lovers, etc.) and your connection with them and how those relationships affect you and other aspects of your life and being, I’m sensing some sort of cataclysm or some type of coming undone of something or some type of rising action leading up to or towards something here. Spirit is telling me about these things from your past or these things that have come from deep within that are coming up because there is a reset in store for you or a new life you’re about to receive. I’m hearing “things get worse before they get better” or there’s a deep internal purging happening for your greater good.

There are questions coming up about when and how things occurred and what really happened. You could be thinking back on past events or things that have happened in the past or you’ve been in this energy of digging up things. The reason behind trauma you have, how certain events in your life that caused a lot of trouble came to be, what type of people you were around, and the things that happened while you were in communication with them. I chose this young girl for the cover of pile ones pile. The inner child is very significant. The past is very significant. I’m hearing, “push. push. push.” Things could’ve been rough for you lately or you could’ve been incredibly tired or drained of energy for whatever reason but there is this need to push through and overcome and your spirit guides, I’m talking everyone, deities, guardian angels, ancestors, the divine mother. Everyone is in your ear collectively pushing you on and telling you to trudge through whatever this mud is. Life as you know it is coming. You are to be born again.

I’m hearing you hear the guides too. You’re very spiritually connected at this time. Their power runs through you. And I’m getting you could’ve been sent some kind of bad juju or people could’ve been working with deities or entities to send you trouble and misfortune and really squash your power but even these spirits want to stand behind you and support you. There’s a very powerful energy radiating from this group here. Someone has a very powerful lineage or is destined for something very big and the ancestors are not playing about you anymore they're tired of people and things bothering you or trying to stand in your way and knock you down. All these delays and all of this stuff that's come up is for a very good reason. It’s like you’re being blessed and all of your problems and anything that weighs you down and keeps you stuck is being dragged out of you. You’re coming into all your power. The spirits are getting very excited. There is about to be a celebration.

Spirit sees how energetically drained you’ve felt, how unable to do what you need to do you felt, how tired, how open and vulnerable your mind has been these past couple of days to negative thoughts and heavy emotional distress. I’m hearing a lot of you thought this energy was your own as well. There was a dangerous combination of natural purging occurring and for some of you whomever this person was doing magic on you or sending you evil eye and bad juju but you’re learning to take the energy sent to you and reel it in and turn it into your own. People are waiting and watching trying to see if you come out of this unscathed and you will because you’re protected and you’re divine. You’re being heavily advised to put your energy and your power into building this empire for yourself. Your success is brewing. Spirit wants you to take your ambition and feed it into leveling up and expanding. It’s about to be a whole new you.

With this moon card in reverse you’re releasing these fears, you’re letting all this stuff come up and you’re being empowered by it. Im hearing someone doing an evil laugh. Someone’s little villain era is coming. Justice is coming. This is not a drill. You’ve been talking to the spirits. The greats are reaching out to you. Answer the call. Your spirit team is growing. You’re about to be untouchable. Remember in The Princess and the Frog when Dr. Facilier was talking about how he had friends on the other side? This is exactly that energy lol.

𝐴𝑓𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛: “𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑤.”

***

ii.

Spirit has a lot of messages for you. I didn’t ask for this many cards but they were adamant on the amount they gave me. I’m getting this urgency or this high priority. You need to hear this they want you to receive it. They gave me 11 cards. 11 is a very powerful number all on its own. But as a soul number, it is magnificent. this blew my mind on a personal level. I see you working on something, this is big, it’s personal. You could be doing a lot of inner work or you could be really growing or preparing for something or all three of those things but there’s an energy of preparation, getting ready to receive a large blessing or getting ready for something big to come into fruition for you and preparing yourself to be the person you need to be to receive it. And I hear you’re working on this behind people's backs or you’re real quiet like about it. 🧿. I’m hearing you get what it means and how important it is to keep things private in order to protect them while you’re waiting for them to come to fruition for you or grow.

You’re about to come into some money here, you’re about to step into this big provider energy or you’re working on your finances so that you could be this figure. Some of you or building lives for yourselves in general, for some of you, you’re masculine energies and you’re building yourself up and getting your money and finances together to give someone the offer of a lifetime. There could’ve been a lot of inner conflict that you had and held onto that kept you from having something you truly wanted or getting this key wish fulfillment in your life and this time is coming to an end for you with this five of wands in reverse. You could’ve been holding onto a karmic lover as well or karmic people and karmic cycles and you’ve just about dropped all of this. I’m getting the energy of you casting these energies out or exorcising these energies out of your life and from within you.

And there’s conflict here regarding whatever it is or whomever it is you’re getting rid of cause whatever it is or whomever it is has their claws in you deep or it doesn’t want to let go of you because they sense that you’ve got big energy and you’re destined for great things but these people and things are leeches and energy vampires and I’m hearing you really don’t give a fuck at all. You’re ready to finally go to war behind your peace and behind what’s yours. You’re coming into your power and seeing your strength here. You’re manifesting your happiness. In life, in love. And you’re ready to receive it. There are very big gifts and very big wish fulfillments coming in for you or that you desire. And using the word happiness doesn’t feel big enough or even like it fully encapsulates what type of abundance, peace, and wholeness we’re talking about coming in for you. This is huge. Things are about to shift drastically. I’m hearing in a week or a month. And once those floodgates open the abundance isn’t going to stop flowing in. Like I’m getting a high flood warning here or a tsunami. It’s gonna wash anything in its path away.

Whatever these karmic people or relationships are or energies are, they’re gonna come crashing down very soon. Expect it. And I’m hearing you’ll be unscathed by this because you know it was time and behind this gigantic tower of karmic energies lies a bright meadow. You will be able to watch the sun being born. Any type of inner confusion and illusions will be done for and dealt with. Your spirit guides and ancestors are going to finish these people and these energies off, pack your shit and they’ll handle the rest. There’s a car waiting for you outside. You’re taken care of and protected. You’re gonna be in tune with your intuition, with the divine mother (God), with your higher self, with your ancestors as these events have birthed a spiritual awakening for you. Your time is now. Nothing can stop you where you’re going. Any type of heartbreak. Any blockages. Any type of feelings of shame or disappointment and anger. Will be washed away and gone forever. Your divine feminine is coming (or divine masculine). In separation? Not anymore. No contact? No. Union? Yes. Spirit is having all your boxes checked for you.

𝐴𝑓𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛: “𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝐼 𝑔𝑜, 𝑎𝑏𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑠.”

***

iii.

Spirit is telling me that you’ve been harvesting a lot of ambition. There is something that you want. A lifestyle you desire, a connection, whatever this wish fulfillment is you’re very determined to get it. You have to have it. It will be yours. You could be working very hard towards financial independence or are manifesting financial independence and spirit is telling me that money is necessary to get where you want to go or to give yourself the opportunities that you want within this life. You could’ve come from poverty here or there’s some type of aspect of your early life or some type of conflict in these foundational areas in your life that bring about this manifestation or this desire to be abundant and have these things for yourself.

There’s something coming in here too about you finally having the energy and the true desire to evolve and express yourself and show yourself to the world. You could’ve talked about these manifestations or talked about your desires a lot and may not have taken any action towards these dreams or put as much energy as you could’ve into these manifestations but that’s not going to be your reality anymore. Like I’m hearing you’ve had a sudden realization or some type of power up or something happened around you that really pushed you into this space of self-awareness and self-growth. This could’ve been some sort of large loss. A loss of a connection or something incredibly significant that you could’ve sucked a lot of energy from or kept yourself supported against.

You could’ve lost a friend or a lover or a family member that you really leeched off of (even if you weren’t consciously aware) this person gave you a lot of validation, gave you a lot of energy, or really kept you in an energy where you weren’t tuned into the energetic frequency to tune in and understand what you needed to do, how you needed to change or wake up to realizing that the life you were living, the habits, the mindsets, the behaviors you held onto weren’t good for you and weren’t going to get you the happiness and abundance you’d been asking spirit and the universe for. This person pulled themselves from underneath you and it may have really shaken you up and sent you into a dark night of the soul and really shone some light on your shadow.

But now that this mental clarity, this breakthrough, this newfound perspective, and understanding have been bestowed upon you, you’re stepping into your power and mustering up the energy and the courage to completely transform your life. You could’ve played a significant role in this person's life and could’ve been the villain in their story or simply just weren’t able to be the best person to them at the time that you knew them and it was within your path and within this persons divine purpose to shake things up for you and teach you a lesson by taking their leave. Your nine of cups is coming. Finally, you’re going to be happy and content in life or be able to have something to show for in all areas of life and be able to truly curate the lifestyle and the experiences you want for yourself.

This situation was meant to give you courage and push you into the action you needed and open up your mind so that you can improve and do better.

𝐴𝑓𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛: “𝑓𝑎𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑖𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑣𝑒 𝑖𝑛.”

***

iv.

Some of you have been disconnected from a connection that has played a large part in your life or kept you in one place, physically speaking or emotionally and spiritually. This could’ve been someone who contributed to self-limiting beliefs and insecurities within self and/or played a role in your life that brought to light any self-limiting beliefs and karmic energies or aspects of your shadow self. I see someone recovering here or coming to terms with some sort of ending or coming to terms with some sort of truth that was revealed to them in terms of this connection and in terms of their own belief systems, behaviors, and views of self. You could feel very alone right now and may even be in an energy of pessimism or be incredibly worried or anxious at this time due to rapid change and not knowing where you’re headed or what’s going to happen next.

But, this person, this connection or whatever this is that you’ve been disconnected from was divinely orchestrated and you’re being realigned or your path here or I’m hearing rerouted and turned around. Whatever this was, was meant to be temporary for you and you weren’t meant to keep it. I’m hearing it’s not yours to keep. If this is a person, they could’ve not done anything inherently bad to you or said anything hurtful or harmful but they could just have simply not been super into you or your energy and may have left you feeling very needy and unheard and unseen oftentimes. I’m getting that this person isn’t YOUR person or your divine counterpart and this is why they aren’t deeply connected to you and this person may hide this from you or be very guarded and out of reach. This relationship or this person was meant to send you into hermit mode, into isolation so that you can see yourself and identify what needs to be worked on and be pushed into self-growth and expansion.

You could’ve gone out of your way to keep this person or bent over backward to try to keep this person in your energy and may have really stepped into a side of yourself that isn’t very good at making decisions or who doesn’t value herself/himself and behaves in a way that reflects that. Everything that’s come up and is coming up is for a reason, for you to look at and see for yourself because whatever this is has caused a bit of a tower moment for you I’m getting. This person or whatever this is could’ve been taken from you already or you could be on the verge of disconnecting with this person or breaking up with this person. I see you being very exhausted, burnt out, and confused. You could be really in your head about this or really heavily thinking about what’s going on within your connection or the things about you that have come to the surface.

There may be conflict about this situation with this person. I’m hearing arguments or disagreements or this really heavy push-and-pull dynamic. You could be pulling this person, trying to remove blockages and barriers and they’re pushing you away further and moving further away from you and you may be feeling a lot of loss and heartbreak regarding this situation. I hear you being very frustrated and not really truly understanding why you’re experiencing what you’re experiencing. And it has everything to do with you and your own shadow and self-limiting ideas and beliefs. This person reflects back to you, your own karmic energies. When you decide to hold self-respect for yourself and release things that are no longer serving you and take the leap and make that decision to be done with this because you’re no longer choosing to live this way or accept this for yourself things will begin opening up for you and you will then have time for yourself to grow the way you’re meant to. This person is a karmic. They may not be intentionally or consciously causing you harm or mirroring back to you your own karmic energies but they need to. You and this person are and were teaching each other important lessons. You’re teaching them the reality of choosing to be where you do not truly desire to be. And they’re teaching you what it feels like to not be valued and that it is your choice to continue to be treated that way and not grow into an energy of self-love and alignment.

𝐴𝑓𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛: “𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑟𝑒𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 ℎ𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓.”

***

I’m offering you guys an apology for not being able to push out readings and do what I needed these past 2-3 days. I was going through a cleansing period and I needed to purge and ground. But, I’ve gotten my energy back and I’m ready to come back and do my work for the collective. I hope these readings helped or gave you some sort of enlightenment, encouragement, or confirmed your intuition. I chose to include four piles today because I intuitively felt that this was a very broad collective and the messages would be very specific to those reading. Wishing you the best of luck🤞🏾 lots of love, forgiveness, and understanding. Wishing that you can find that within yourself and that others can find those same things within you in order to release any negative energies, fears, and emotions so that we may all move on and enjoy our lives peacefully and in harmony. I’ll talk to you another time. Please come see me again soon! 🧿

(Book a personal with me with the link in my Instagram bio!)

[igglemouse]

It's only the first trimester but this pregnancy thing is already a bit rough, at least more than I imagined. I never expected it to be easy but I do get tired of having to run to the bathroom. Yeaaa, lets not talk about that!

Instead lets talk about waffles, more specifically, chicken and waffles! My appetite has definitely started to change as I find myself more likely to completely clean a plate but I don't think I've had any specific cravings yet? I mean, right now I'm craving golden waffles and slightly crisp fried chicken drenched in sweet syrup, does that count?

Naturally the scent of waffles wafting waffly through the house is enough to draw Pascal down to the kitchen. I'm pretty sure waffles are his favorite food and the way he lights up before digging into them tells me that I might be right.

He takes a few bites, makes a groan of approval, then turns his attention to me, a bit of concern on his face. "You okay?" He asks with his mouth half full. "You spent a lot of time in the restroom this morning and-"

"Yeaaah, just one of those things I guess?" I say trying to pass it off casually. The constant nausea is common during pregnancy, right? Probably nothing. "It'll be okay!"

"Yeah," he mumbles, getting right back to his meal.

That reminds me, Pascal hasn't really talked much about this whole 'we're going to be parents' thing too much and by too much I mean not really at all? He's told me that he'll be there for the baby and for me and that matters but I do wish he was a little more involved.

I think he saves most of his enthusiasm for mud baths. It's a ritual for him, I think. I can understand why, it can be very relaxing sinking yourself into a puddle of earthy mud and letting the world melt away. I understand he kicks a ball around for a living but it does take a lot out of him. Athletes really push their bodies past limits. It must be a ritual of his at this point.

As for me, I find my own way to unwind. Grooving to Latin pop, the infectious beats fill the room and gets my feet to move but not too much. Sure would hate to trip or something buuut I'm hoping my little one is vibing to the music too!

Doing laundry isn't in any way more fun than dancing but it has to get done. Even if the sun is bearing down on you, making you sweat, and...why doesn't Pascal have a washer and dryer again?

But I wasn't going to spend my entire day under the sun, especially when Sara decided to drop by again. She's been coming over more and more lately, I don't mind, but as I've mentioned before she's a bit nosy. Always asking questions and trying to pry, just a touch annoying actually, but there's something endearing to it? It's almost like little sister energy, if that makes sense? Maybe that's just me wishing I had a little sister.

She does remind me of an old friend I had back home, in Selva. A softer version of her, a less confident version of her, but a version of her all the same. Candela was her name but that's a story for another day.

As soon as we sit down Sara dives right into the topic of Pascal. Completely expected, remember, she's the nosy prying type after all but I decided to turn the tables back on her and ask her about her own love life.

"Umm, remember, I'm not so fortunate," her reply is hesitant and her voice cracks a little, letting me know this is more of a sensitive topic for her.

"Sara, you're way too hard on yourself! I know you've had some luck-"

"What's luck if I'm sitting here single," she interrupts, set on putting herself down I guess.

"Sara, you're young, we all are," I say, wanting to defend her from herself. "It's really not that big of a deal being single. Sometimes, it's better than being stuck with someone that's abusive."

"Yeah...well, for now, I'll live vicariously through your relationship so lets hear about it." The smile on her face is forced but I agree. I don't want to force her to talk about her.

So I tell her about Pascal and me but there really isn't any excitement because there isn't much to go on about? We are just sort of...living together? No big adventures or vacations, nothing overly romantic, we've just been sharing a space and going through life day by day I guess.

"You're going to have to pull him off the pitch long enough for you two to do more together," Sara suggests. It's a good idea. The SPL, which stands for Sims Premier League, has an offseason doesn't it?

After Sara leaves the house feels a little quieter. That's alright because I'll always have ice cream! It's the sort of thing that can bring joy to any evening and so I step right over to the kitchen and pull out my nifty ice cream making machine and make me a bowl of it. because, why not? Feels like a butter pecan kind of day to me and it's feeling like I'll be needing two bowls!

One thing I think I have to consider when it comes to living with Pascal is that I've been doing most of the chores. Whether its scrubbing countertops or washing the dishes or doing laundry out in near 100 degree heat, it's me doing it all and here I am vacuuming so that we're not inhaling dust. Makes me wonder how he was keeping this place clean before me? I'd ask Pascal to do it for tonight but...

The mechanical whir of the treadmill and the pounding of his feet had told me he was busy. I quietly slipped inside of his workout room, which, now that I think about it, looks like it would be better suited for a child but maybe that's a discussion for another day.

I have to squeal out a hello to get his attention and once I do; "Does the offer still stand?" I ask, voice raised to be heard of the rhythm of his workout.

"Huh?" He kinda shouts back, a little out of breath.

"Moving in, does it still stand?" and I shout right back.

"O-oh! Yeah! Of course! Of course it does!" He stammers back and gives me a smile. I'll leave him alone for now I guess.

So yeah, it looks like I've mad my decision or rather, fate has made it for me.

I do have some concerns but that's expected, right? No one is perfect.

Honestly, if I were not pregnant with his child I do not think I would have made this decision but now that I am I want to do everything right. That includes raising a child the usual way. Mother, father, a house, a family, that kind of thing. It's at least worth a try, it's more than what was done for me growing up.

I'll miss this place. I wasn't here for long but that's the story of my life. I don't tend to stay in places for too long. The universe always nudges me on to my next chapter and on to the next episode..

Frida Varela Index ~ Next Episode 6 'Familiar Connections'

[ffc1cb]

new art blog

the short version:

1. i made a new art blog: @cbge;

2. @ffc1cb will stay up as an archive.

the long version:

hi everyone. this announcement is somewhat late, since the blog in question has been up for a few months now, and i’ve already started posting art on it. the reason it took me so long to “reveal” it is because i’ve been trying to figure out whether a new blog is something i actually want, or if it's just me throwing darts at a board, trying to make myself feel better somehow.

i don’t know when precisely it all started, but ever since sometime last year i’ve been going through a hard time, both emotionally and creatively. i’m not sure whether being depressed is what made art harder, or art becoming harder is what made me depressed (a bit of both, i think), but lately, drawing has been a struggle. 

i’ve found myself having less and less energy for art, and this lack of energy resulted in poorer quality of drawings, which resulted in me feeling like i’m getting worse at it, despite my efforts. i knew i could make good art, art that i’m proud of - i’ve done so countless times before, - but somehow it felt like i just couldn’t anymore, like my hands forgot how to. nothing looked right. 

i’ve been trying to experiment. i’ve learned some new things, tried this and that - it was enlightening, to say the least, and even though i kind of liked how it looked, it made me feel a sense of displacement. i was at odds with myself, my art, and how i felt about it, when previously i was always in sync. i was making art, yes, and it looked nice, but it felt like it wasn’t mine.

i suppose part of it was also the growing lack of engagement, and i don’t mean likes and reblogs - i never particularly cared about those. they are all just numbers to me; dry and impersonal. what i’m talking about is actual, human interactions: personal thoughts in tags, asks, replies, etc. a conversation. 

i don’t mean to sound “old” or anything, but i remember when talking to artists online was more commonplace. my wife tells me it’s because the internet culture has changed over the years, that people have become more reclusive, less willing to be open with their thoughts, and she's probably right, but in my slump i find it hard to believe. somehow it feels like it’s my fault for being less “engaging”, for seeming unapproachable or perhaps intimidating. maybe it’s “just a skill issue”, maybe it’s because i have stopped churning out fanart for popular fandoms, maybe it’s because i refuse to torture myself emotionally by having an art account on twitter (i can’t fucking stand the place anymore; i still post nsfw art there, but only because it’s literally one of the only places on the internet that allows you to do so. i miss when you could post female presenting tits on tumblr).

i have always, ever since i started posting art on the internet back in 2012, done it for human connection. i wanted to talk to people, and have people talk to me. i wanted to inspire people with my art, and i wanted to bring them comfort. i wanted to elicit an emotional response, and have people tell me about it. it was one of the main reasons i drew in the first place; having lost that, i’ve been struggling to stay passionate about making art.

i miss being a small artist on the internet during the 2010s. i remember when i could make a post going, “hey everyone, how are you all doing today?” and it would not seem weird to people in the slightest. it is just me? does anyone else feel that way? am i too deep in my own head? the internet feels so unwelcoming nowadays, especially to artists. we are all just content machines; people scroll by our stuff, or maybe look at it for half a second and leave a like before scrolling away. i know it’s unfair to demand people’s attention, especially now when our lives are already so overwhelmed by everything - no one has the energy to pay closer attention; i myself am not immune to mindless scrolling. but it feels bad. i wish we were all sincere and enthusiastic again.

anyway (sorry for rambling. i hope i haven’t bored you to death), you might want to say, okay, but how is making a new art blog on a “dying” social platform going to help with any of that? the truth is, i don’t know. i just felt like i needed a change. 

i’ve been running this blog since 2016 (that’s almost 8 full years!). i feel incredibly attached to it, but at the same time, i feel it weighing me down. 

there are people who followed me years ago for one specific thing, still expecting me to post about said thing (i still find it mindboggling that some people follow artists for a specific fandom only, but that is a whole other matter for a whole other post that i will never write). a third, if not half, of my following are probably dead blogs. and with my current struggle with trying to regain the joy i once felt for making art, looking back at all the art i’ve done over the years makes me feel tired. i still love it all; it’s all very dear to me. i’m proud of it; looking at it makes me mourn my younger and more passionate self.

so i’ve decided to make a new blog, where i will let myself post whatever i want, in whatever stage of donness i feel like. maybe it will help me, somehow. maybe it won’t. but if you care about my art, if you want to keep following me on my artistic journey, i welcome you to join me there. similarly, feel free not to - no hard feelings.

thank you everyone for your support over the years; it matters a lot to me. i’m not planning to delete or private this blog; it will stay up, and i will still be reachable on here. i will still answer asks, if there will be any. i’m just not planning to post any art here anymore. this is it for my dear old friend ffc1cb.

i can be found in other places:

@cbge, as mentioned earlier,

@k0nstanta, an art blog dedicated solely to my wife and i’s ocs,

@inquisimail, a dragon age ask blog that has become my dragon age sideblog in general,

and multiple other blogs, none of which are art related, but feel free to ask, if you’re curious.

thank you very much for reading all of this. i hope you have a wonderful day.

[blackjackkent]

Prompt fill for @thedarkstrategist from this meme: Shadowzel, “You know better than most the pain a lie can inflict.” 

-----

Shadowheart lies on her back in her tent, staring up at the dark fabric backlit by the moon hanging low over Rivington, and broods.

You’re being stupid, she tells herself firmly. Lae’zel has her own concerns. She doesn’t owe you her company every night.

Which is, of course, perfectly true. But it doesn’t change the fact that Shadowheart got used to it, out there in the Shadowlands. It became habit, every night, to see Lae’zel crawling through her tent flap, to expend the day’s frustration and tension in a blaze of heat. To fall asleep with Lae’zel’s warmth cuddled against her side, the “soft touch” that it had taken the gith so much courage to ask for and Shadowheart just as much courage to offer.

And ever since the Shadowfell, since Shar’s torment and Aylin’s revelations, Shadowheart has been so terribly, terribly cold. Lae’zel’s warmth saved her on the road to Baldur’s Gate, more than Shadowheart has ever articulated aloud.

And now it’s gone. It’s been three days since Lae’zel came to her, and Shadowheart feels the loss as keenly as if her heart has been torn out.

What is wrong with you? she chastises herself. You’re stronger than this.

But she isn’t, it seems. Not anymore. Not with the loss of her faith, the torment she has suffered. Not with how terribly lonely the world is, with her sense of purpose ripped away. Not without Lae’zel.

She grunts irritably and sits up, crawling out into the open air.

Lae’zel is sitting by her own tent, cross-legged. She has a dagger out in one hand and is turning it carefully in the moonlight, examining the keenness of its edge. Her catlike eyes are narrowed with intense focus and she does not look up as Shadowheart approaches, but she does speak all the same. “What is it, Shadowheart?”

Shadowheart resists the urge to fidget her weight from foot to foot. Lae’zel’s voice sounds oddly flat, without any of her usual energy and heat. That has been the case for several days as well, and really it’s even more troubling than Shadowheart’s own selfish desires. 

“I was going to ask you the same question,” she says carefully. Pressing Lae’zel when she’s in a snit is often akin to poking an injured bear with a stick - but she isn’t sure that’s even what’s really going on here. This isn’t anger; it’s just an air of general disinterest, which is far more unnerving from the gith’s usual fiery personality. “Another night you haven’t come to bed. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong.” Lae’zel draws the edge of the blade experimentally along her fingertips and nods in satisfaction to feel its sharpness. A pause, then she looks up and studies Shadowheart’s face intently. “Why should it be?”

The direct question feels extremely unfair. Neither of them have ever been good at articulating their feelings out loud, and Lae’zel knows this about Shadowheart. It is one of the things that binds them together, those feelings that exist without words. “Since when am I the one who has to explain these things?” Shadowheart says moodily, automatically slipping into the usual bickering banter that characterizes most of their conversation.

But again, Lae’zel doesn’t rise to it, just watches her unblinking. “Tell me,” she says coolly.

Shadowheart frowns. “Well,” she says unsteadily, thrown off by the irregular rhythm of the conversation. “You’ve been quiet lately. I’ve barely seen you for three days, even at night. You don’t want to talk.” A pause. “Is it because of Vlaakith’s little invasion into our camp?”

Lae’zel cocks her head to one side. “Vlaakith,” she says thoughtfully, more to herself than to Shadowheart. “Yes. Of course.”

Shadowheart stiffens. “Of course?” she says hotly. “How can it be of course when you won’t talk to me?” Her lips purse, and then she voices the fear sitting at the back of all these thoughts. “Did I do something, Lae’zel? What is this about? Don’t just… pretend like everything is normal, not to me.” A pause. She swallows, looks down and away. “You of all people know the pain a lie can inflict,” she mutters. “Don’t toy with me, Lae’zel. If something’s wrong… I need you to tell me.”

Silence. She looks up cautiously and finds that Lae’zel has stopped looking at her. Her attention is back on the blade she’s examining, utterly unmoved by this heartfelt plea. And something in Shadowheart’s chest seems to twist painfully at this lack of response.

“Damn you,” she mutters. “I don’t ask for much. But I thought we-- I thought you--” She stops; her voice is dangerously on the edge of cracking. She was so much stronger than this, once, but in the wake of all her recent torment, it is too much.

“Look at me, damn it!” she snaps. 

She lashes out with one hand, grabbing for the dagger that has occupied all of Lae’zel’s attention. It’s an awkward motion without forethought, and she fumbles it. In twisting the blade away, she scores its needle-sharp edge along the back of Lae’zel’s hand.

The cut is crisp and clean, and silver-white blood wells up to pool on Lae’zel’s skin.

Shadowheart freezes, her fingers going white-knuckled on the hilt of the dagger. She has seen Lae’zel’s blood before, all too many times. She has seen it painted on enemy blades and across her own hands in healing afterwards. It is not silver, but a deep ruby red that is almost black.

Shadowheart’s blood runs cold. Oh. Oh… shit. 

She darts backwards a step, lifting the blade point-first towards the thing she thought was Lae’zel. “You bitch,” she snaps. “What have you done with her?”

Orin smiles slowly with Lae’zel’s face. “A quick eye the Sharran has,” she murmurs. “Perhaps I should pluck it out… trail the blood down your pretty face…” Her head twists, Lae’zel’s form dripping off of her to reveal the pale face and blank white eyes underneath. Only the smile remains the same, unchanging as her form shifts. 

“What fun it is to watch you wriggle, wondering, worrying… but no, fear not, little worm, for your precious pet’s guts do not paint the ground… yet.” The changeling giggles excitedly. “She would die too easily; the Murder Lord craves a sweeter meal.” 

Her smile twists, almost impossibly wide on her face and full of gleeful malice. “If you would have her still gasp out her mewling breaths, then other blood must be spilled to buy her. We have much to talk about, you and I.”

[junvibing]

Artfully Yours

pairing: art major renjun! x fem!reader; youtuber!renjun

warnings: lots of art and ramen, renjun is very much in love, college

summary: Renjun wants to get you something special for your birthday. He has two problems though: 1. there’s not much time left, 2. he’s a perfectionist. But hey, at least Chenle gave him the perfect idea. Now, he only has to finish in time and hope you’ll love it.

wc: 12.5k

a/n: I’ve been working on this on and off for around a year lol. Anyways I really like it and I hope you do too! Leave me feedback haha this is my first long fanfic and honestly it’s special to me :’) <3 (posting this again cause I wanna try something haha)

song recommendation: Like we just met - nct dream

credit for art inspo: matlagesilke3 on pinterest

The second Renjun got home, he prepared to spend the rest of the day working on a drawing. Since it’s due for tomorrow’s Drawing II class, he really needs to put his energy into finishing it today. His art projects are often accompanied with him staying up into the nights to perfect them. Sometimes while painting his thoughts drift away and he starts thinking about other things. This tendency surely adds to him staying up late but for today he hopes he’ll be able to finish before midnight. That’s why Renjun starts gathering his materials quickly before sitting down at his desk. His room is a little messy but college is stressful and an art major is no exception. Especially since he is somewhat of a perfectionist but he couldn’t imagine studying anything else other than art. For as long as Renjun can remember, he was always interested in it. The way colors dance on the paper, the way they blend into each other or how he can create anything he wants and get lost in the process - he just loves it. One of his favorite things is to try out different art mediums and see how they work, how comfortable he could get with them and if he’ll resort back to them in the future. Over the years, he discovered that he loves painting with oil paints and watercolors the most as they bring him great joy and the best results. Both mediums can be tricky at the beginning and it wasn’t much different for him when he started out but proper practice helped a lot. However, Renjun also enjoys drawing on his tablet, which is especially useful if he wants to post his work online. 

In his opinion, art is meant to be shared and what better way is there to reach lots of people than sharing it online? That’s why he had started to post his art on Twitter when he was still in middle school. Whenever someone retweeted his art, he felt so elated, it pushed him to continue sharing his work. In high school he even started exploring with posting videos on YouTube, all related to art of course. Jisung, his classmate and one of his best friends, had encouraged him to just go for it and soon enough his other friends had joined in. Thinking back to his very first YouTube video, Renjun lets out a chuckle. Dang, I was so nervous. Shaking his head, he continues sketching. The thing is he never used to show his face on Twitter, it was all about his art and creativity but with the encouraging words of Jisung and his other friends, he dared to show his face on YouTube, alongside his art of course. The first video Renjun ever posted was of him drawing Moomin fan art. Over the years, his channel actually gained quite a bit of attraction and while in high school, he would often daydream about making money with his artwork even though he knew his parents wouldn’t really support him in pursuing such a career. As far as Renjun knew, his parents wanted him to get a “real” career. But he spent most of his free time either with his friends or sketching, drawing and painting. 

I still do that. Renjun sits at his desk, room dimly lit and pencil in his right hand. But y/n’s in the picture as well now. He grew up with art and it accompanied him throughout his ups and downs. He loves being creative, that’s why he had decided to go through with applying for a fine arts major when the time came around. However, his parent’s opinion and support was important to him. So at the time, he had a serious talk with them. Renjun knew they only had his best interest at heart. Naturally, they want him to be successful in life and it’s important to his parents that their only child has a good and comfortable life. They imagined for him to pursue a high paying, high status job like being a lawyer. His parents couldn’t picture how studying art would provide him with something like that. To them, pursuing an art career was too unstable, too risky. But Renjun managed to show them different ways in how he actually could be successful with it. He would do internships, could go into graphic design, could become an illustrator or go as far as to become an art instructor. There are different paths he would be able to take that would pay him well and hearing that eventually convinced his parents. Of course, Renjun had been overjoyed about that. He still is actually. All his life, art was one of the things that brought him the most happiness and his parents supported him in pursuing it as a career. What else could he wish for?

Turns out, there really was something else he could have wished for. He only knew it after you entered his life though. Renjun occasionally thinks back to how you two met. Out of nowhere, his mind sometimes drifts to the first time he saw you. Just like right now. The window in his room lets little light shine through, the sun is almost fully set at this point and the only other light source is the lamp on his desk, illuminating a bottle of milk and a few pieces of fruit. Renjun’s project for tomorrow is a still life, an art depiction of inanimate objects. It is pretty normal for him to drift off when he was monotonously sketching away, which is exactly what he is doing right now. His pen glides easily on the paper in front of him while he thinks back to his second semester. Renjun never really used to be a person who obsessed over relationships. His mind was filled with other things like ideas for art videos. In fact, he actually used to be the type who didn’t believe in love at first sight, which Jaemin thought was crazy by the way. But you kinda proved Renjun wrong. 

He still remembers the day clearly. It was fall and Mark invited you to come hang out with the boys. The dreamies, as Haechan likes to call their friend group, were still great friends even if they didn’t see each other everyday like they did back in high school. Mark actually mentioned your name before, it wasn’t your first time hanging out with the boys either but the few times you were with them, Renjun couldn’t make it, so he only officially met you in his second semester. Crazy, almost two and a half years ago. He can still remember exactly how he reacted to seeing you for the first time. The second Renjun’s eyes landed on you, the things and people around him somehow were moving in slow motion. To say he was intrigued by you would’ve been an understatement. You looked so mesmerizing, smiling at whatever Jisung was saying while the evening sun hit your face in the most beautiful way. Renjun felt like he was looking at the prettiest painting he ever laid his eyes on. All the beautiful, intricate art he saw over the years didn’t compare to you and he immediately wanted to introduce himself. From that day onwards you joined his dear collection of things he loves to draw the most. 

It actually didn’t take long for Renjun to ask you out as there was no way he would be able to let you slip through his fingers. Over the years, your relationship has been going strong. Just like art you’ve become a constant in Renjun’s life that he wishes to never lose. With time, he even introduced you on his YouTube channel. It took a little convincing but after a while you were able to put your shyness away and join him in a vlog. Renjun smiles, thinking back to your first video together. Back then, he had decided to participate in the challenge of drawing under a blue light and you tagged along in his vlog at the beginning. It was fun for both of you and Renjun’s subscribers enjoyed seeing you guys together. The comments were flooded with how cute the two of you were and requests for you to join him more on his channel. But for today, Renjun’s plans don’t include any art challenge. It’s time to finish this still life. He needs the day tomorrow for something else, something more important. 

The next day, with a fresh mind and his still life finished, Renjun prepares for a different project. There is still a bit of time left before he needs to get to class, so he wants to use it to start before it’s time to turn in his still life. Renjun has something special planned for you. Your birthday is just around the corner and he had been unsure on what to get you. Last year he got you a beautiful necklace with a butterfly charm. “To show you my appreciation” is what he had said when putting it on you. Renjun never wanted to stop feeling warm and fuzzy inside when he was with you. For this year’s gift, he was thinking about decor for your dorm room since you moved recently. Yet for some reason, whenever he was strolling through stores, keeping an eye out for a suitable gift, he felt like nothing fit perfectly. You don’t really need a new rug or pillows. Your room is already decorated with various plants. Just getting you a few scented candles like Mark suggested was too plain. Getting a mug was out of the question as it’s not special enough for you. Not to mention a mug technically isn’t decor. Although it could be. However, Renjun wanted to get you something special, something that shows he put thought into it and when speaking to Chenle about it the other day, he suggested the perfect idea: painting you a picture. 

Naturally, Renjun drew small pictures for you over the course of your relationship and you cherished every single one of it but he never created a proper painting for you. Almost outrageous, how come he never did that for his girlfriend? Even Jeno did it at some point for his girlfriend. Or tried at least. Nevertheless, she loved it and Renjun still remembers your reaction actually. You and her go way back, having met during middle school. Naturally, you only ever wished the best for your best friend. So of course, seeing her that happy about Jeno’s gift, had put a smile on your face. You even laughed a little, seeing her show it off to the others. Thinking back, that should’ve been Renjun’s first clue to paint you something for your birthday. But at least he came around now, even if it is a little overdue. As soon as he had decided to paint you something to put on your wall, he had brainstormed for ideas. His still life project got in the way so he couldn’t start earlier but today is finally the day he can turn his draft for your gift into the beginnings of a painting. Last week, Renjun sat down and thought about what he wanted to paint for you and since the painting is supposed to fit your room well, he had decided to go with an enchanted forest. He feels like it would complement the various plants in your room nicely. A dark forest with colorful sparks throughout would be the perfect eye catcher for your plain white dorm wall. He had decided to draw two particular trees to accentuate the centerpiece of his painting: a magical path that’s curving to the right. Renjun feels very confident about the idea, so much so that he had decided to film a YouTube video around it: “Painting for my gf’s birthday”, where he documents the process of his painting and captures your reaction to the present. 

That’s why he sits in his chair right now, camera on his desk and films himself. His subscribers will surely enjoy seeing this. “Hi painters, so my girlfriend’s bday is just around the corner and I’ve been struggling quite a bit with finding a gift. I can’t just get her an ordinary gift, you know me. So I was thinking and searching and man almost gave up but my friend literally saved the day.“ Renjun salutes to the camera. “谢了, 哥们.“ ”So anyway, I decided to go with his idea of painting for her, hence this video. I was brainstorming in advance and already did a vague sketch of my idea.“ Renjun holds his sketchbook into the camera so his viewers can see the enchanted forest. “You can see it’s supposed to be a forest. I wanna add different colored sparks to it and make the path here a blueish white to give it a fairy, enchanted type of feel.” Renjun traced the path with his finger and then mentioned two particular trees. “The big trees in the front that bend over and form a heart accentuate the magical path nicely. I also added a little pond. I really like it and I think y/n will like it as well.” Renjun adjusts the camera to show his canvas and him. For the next thirty minutes, he hunches over his desk, sketching his draft carefully onto the canvas. Since this is supposed to be the centerpiece of your wall, Renjun bought a big canvas last week. It is supposed to be an eye-catcher after all. As the time passes and he finishes sketching, he stands up to look at his work. “Okay that’s good enough.” Renjun looks into the camera. “I’ll stop for now cause I have class in about forty minutes. But I’ll see you later tonight when I continue. Y/n’s bday is literally in 9 days and you know how it goes with oil paints, long drying times. So I need it to be done one day before her bday, meaning there’s no time to slack off.” Renjun takes the camera into his hand and smiles before moving his hand in front of the lens. “Only the best for my babe.” 

Hours later, Renjun is setting up his camera again. After his last class for today, art history, he got some lunch with the boys in the dining hall. Mark and Haechan had class though, so the group wasn’t complete. The boys catched up a little but Renjun didn’t want to spend too much time eating. There was still a project awaiting him at home after all. That’s why he only had a small chicken salad. Jaemin talked about how his professor has been kicking his butt with reading assignments for class and to be fair, Renjun could understand. There was just something unpleasant about having to read two 15 page papers about the causes and consequences of the French revolution. But Jaemin chose to major in history education. Although Renjun knows it’s not Jaemin’s fault for having an unpleasant professor. Chenle, however, hadn’t been that interested in his friend’s distress. “Glad I don’t have to deal with that”, is what he had said. “Yeah, you need to deal with statistical models dude, gross” Jaemin really doesn’t like math. But, the boys were all able to agree that college workload is a lot, whether one studies education or economics. “Chill guys”, Jeno had taken a bite of his pizza slice, “Jun, how’s it going with y/n’s gift?” Well, Renjun still has lots to do, which is why he had used that opportunity to briefly explain his progress and bid his friends goodbye to go straight to his dorm.

“I’m back, people. I turned in a project and I had art history today which wasn’t so great. It has the touch of being boring sometimes but it’s okay, let‘s continue.” Renjun turns his camera to show the sketch he made earlier today. “This is what we’re working with. It’s time to bring some color into this. I don’t wanna waste much time, so let’s begin.” He pulls his easel out and places the canvas on it. The camera is pointing at him and the canvas again but this time he is standing in the middle of his room. After opening a window, he starts with mixing light gray and dark brown. Oil paints don’t have the nicest smell, so it’s good to have a window or two open while painting. This way, Renjun can maximize the time he is able to paint before getting a headache. “Since I don’t have much time for this painting, I’ll use a fast drying medium. Hopefully this way the painting will be dry on time for y/n’s bday.” Renjun starts with a medium sized brush to paint a thin layer of light gray on the middle of his canvas, where fog would later shine through the trees. The next step is to use brown to block in the general shape of the trees. The two bend trees forming a heart take up quite a bit of space on the left and right side of his canvas. Later on, he wants to spend time on the details to tie everything in. Renjun, like most artists, finds it better to start with the general shape of things and work himself up to the smaller, more detailed parts of a painting. 

After almost two hours of painting, he takes a small break to get a snack. I should still have a pack of ramen left somewhere. Of course, only if his roommate Jay didn’t eat it. After locating the ramen and preparing it quickly, Renjun places his camera in front of him. “As you can see, I took a break guys. I’m sitting in the kitchen right now since I don’t want to expose myself to the smell of the paint unnecessarily. I only have a little bit of the background left. So, I think I should be able to finish in about twenty minutes or so.” Renjun turns his camera off to continue eating. Conveniently enough for him, you video call him while he’s still eating. So, he wasn’t rushed to get out of his room to hide his painting from you. Renjun answers your call while positioning his phone against the fruit bowl on the table. “Hi babe, hold up.” After his phone is stable, he smiles at you. “How was your day?” Seeing Renjun after a long day makes you sigh and smile at him. You just wanted to see him and hear his voice for a while to feel better. “Exhausting, I had so much class today and work was a mess.” You pout. You work at a coffee shop downtown a few days a week to save up some money. Sadly, more often than not, you have to deal with difficult customers. “I’m sorry to hear that, love. Did you just get home?” You nod. It is way past nine in the evening and you were ready to go to sleep in a bit, ideally with Renjun cuddling you but that won’t happen today. “Jun, how come you’re eating at this hour?” You know he doesn’t usually eat this late as he doesn’t like to go to bed with a full stomach. Renjun quickly tries to come up with a plausible answer. He doesn’t want to tell you that he spent a good portion of the day painting your gift. “I had a bit of a light lunch today, went out with the boys but didn’t eat too much.” That technically wasn’t a lie either. During lunch he was eager to go back home to paint your gift but the boys insisted he ate at least something before spending hours on it. Renjun and you spend the next ten minutes talking, before he sents you a kiss through the camera and you hang up for the night. 

After washing his bowl, he goes back to his room. He could feel a headache approaching but was determined to finish the background today. Soon enough, around thirty minutes later, Renjun picks up his camera again. “I’m finished with the background guys. This is how it looks so far.” He turns the camera to show the canvas in detail and zooms in a little. At this point, it looks like a simple foggy forest with tall, leafless trees. Renjun will worry about the details later, for now this is good enough. “Quite simple but that’s fine for today. Hopefully it’ll be dry by tomorrow so I can continue after classes. See you then.” Renjun quickly changes into his pajamas and brushes his teeth to go to bed but not before making sure to keep his window open. 

Wednesday morning comes around and Renjun wakes up in his chilly room. He doesn’t mind it that much since he needs to get to class soon anyway. His Wednesdays are usually packed with classes. But thankfully, they are ones he mostly enjoys, Ceramics, Contemporary Art, Digital Media and lastly Painting II. After quickly eating breakfast and getting dressed, he was ready to start the day. Today, Renjun and you are actually planning to get lunch together. Wednesdays and Fridays were set dates where you would either hang out in between classes and snack on a few things or eat lunch together. Renjun loves doing small, simple things with you like snacking on sandwiches together. Since you’ve been busy lately with your part time job at the coffee shop, he hasn’t been able to spend lots of time with you. He made an effort to show up at your workplace every other day or so but seeing you for fifteen minutes just wasn’t enough, which is why he looked forward to today. As soon as his fourth class finishes, he makes a beeline to the door. 

You were supposed to meet next to the library and just as agreed he sees you standing there, smiling down at your phone. You’re wearing one of his hoodies and jeans, quite simple but you still manage to look great. As if you had a feeling he was coming your way, you look up. Renjun kisses your cheek, “Hi love, missed you.” He holds out his hand for you. Putting your hand in his, you start walking towards a convenience store nearby campus. “Junnie, how was class? Did you manage to finish your charcoal drawing from last week?” A few weeks ago in Painting II, Renjun’s professor introduced the topic of shading with paint. His professor gave a deadline of one week to turn in a small charcoal drawing and today they had the first hour of class to finish it. The assignment was only intented to be a supplementary technique though. It would help to understand contrast and value as a basis for shading with paint. Charcoal isn’t a medium Renjun uses often, so he chose a somewhat simple object to draw, a vase full of your favorite flowers, tulips. “Yeah, I managed to finish it within the last ten minutes. The shading was a little tricky though. I’m not too satisfied with it but you know my perfectionist self.” Renjun smiles sheepishly. You know he takes his art seriously and has a tendency to focus a little too much on the details. Sometimes he would ask you to have a look at this work since your input helped him and over time he learned that looking at his art with a fresh set of eyes always worked. Nevertheless, in your opinion, he always manages to create something that was beautifully executed.

On the way to the supermarket you tell him about your day, how boring class was and how your professor gave you tons of reading material for the next class. Renjun knows you have a thing for reading, hence your English literature major but he never understood how you were able to survive reading so much for your degree. He enjoys reading from time to time but having to read pages upon pages of who knows how old literature and analyzing it all in class never had much appeal to him. Nevertheless, he listens attentively to you and after you both get some snacks that Renjun kindly carries, you walk back to campus to your favorite spot near the economics department. Just a few minutes away from the main building were a few benches looking out at the gardening club’s flower field. You and Renjun love to sit on one of them and enjoy the beauty of different flowers together. Thankfully, one of the benches isn’t occupied so you both can sit down and enjoy your break together. Every year, the gardening club arranges their flowers in different themes. A few months ago in summer the theme was “beach sun set”. For this, their flower field basically consisted of flowers in three colors: blue, orange and yellow. Since the season has already changed, a new theme is in place at the moment. This winter, the gardening club focussed on winter themed food by using white and red roses arranged in a way that looked like a candy cane and so on. Renjun likes the idea of different themes, it was nice to see the club have fun with being creative. In a way they’re creating their own art. 

An hour later, Renjun walks you to your next class and squeezes your hand lovingly before making his way home. He is happy that he got to spend some quality time with you, even if it wasn’t very long. While walking back, he is mentally preparing a list of what he needs to paint next for your gift. Since the background was finished and hopefully dry, the next step would be to go into more detail by giving the trees more depth, properly outlining their roots and branches. Renjun also wants to add more color accents to the trees by painting green and slightly bluish leaves. He wants to mimic moon light shining through the forest. It would cast onto the leaves of the trees and give them a light blue tint. As soon as Renjun arrives home, he continues filming his painting process. “Hi painters, I’m back for the next round. Right now it’s Wednesday afternoon, meaning I have exactly 6 days left for this painting to finish, so it can still dry in time. Let’s go!” The next hours of Renjun’s day consisted of his open window, the smell of oil paints and color on his fingers. At one point, he did actually take a small break to eat, even his roommate Jay made an appearance. Renjun gets along just fine with him but both prefer to stay in their respective rooms, meaning they don’t see each other often. He literally is just his roommate, still a cool guy though. One time Jay even asked him for some art advice. Renjun didn’t really imagine him to be the type of guy to be interested in art, but turns out he wanted to try out something new. Of course, Renjun was happy to help and advise. Maybe this time for his painting he would ask Jay for his opinion. 

Thursday flew by him it seemed. Renjun got in and out of class, worked on another assignment and met up with the dreamies. He didn’t continue to paint on the canvas because it was still too wet. Time is worrying him a little bit since the paint takes longer to dry than he likes and he still needs to do quite a bit. But he’ll push through. Renjun is determined to finish your gift one day before your birthday and there’s no way he’ll give you an unfinished painting.

The next day, your Friday lunch break falls short because of an essay you have to finish. However, this gives Renjun more time to perfect his painting for you, which he feels like he really needs. He spent so much time working on it, yet he still isn’t satisfied with the outcome. In fact, he feels like the painting was nowhere near being finished in time. There is something about the way he placed the sparks that he doesn’t like. The thing is, he can’t really pinpoint why exactly he doesn’t like it. They just aren’t really “flying” in the air well enough. Some are too close together, others too far apart. In a way it doesn’t look natural enough, but that in itself doesn’t make any sense, cause no normal forest has such sparks flying through it. Renjun was expecting them to deepen the magical feeling of the forest, but for some reason he couldn’t portray that feeling onto the canvas in a satisfactory way. Regardless, a few spots shouldn’t be enough to give him the feeling of not liking the placement of the sparks overall, right?

To be frank, he is very frustrated. So, at one point he decides to vent to his camera. “I know I’m too nitpicky. But I just want it to look perfect for y/n. I also know she will like my painting regardless. Heck, she probably wouldn’t mind if I doodled her something as a present. But I want it to be deserving of being in her room. I want her to love my painting and me to like it as well.” Renjun wipes a hand down his face. “Maybe I’ve been on this for too long. It’s already past 7 pm and I’ve been working on this painting since I ate lunch. Or maybe time is just stressing me. There are only a few days left and I still need to work on the details.” Renjun decides he needs a break, a fresh breath of air. Maybe the oil paint smell is messing too much with his ability to create. Whatever the case is, he decides to go by your workplace and see you. Your smile would definitely help him feel better. 

As soon as you see Renjun walking through the door of the coffee shop, you have a smile on your face. Your work day is slowly coming to an end and even though most customers today weren’t that difficult to handle, working a long shift naturally tires your body out, which is why it’s a pleasant surprise to see your boyfriend. “Junnie, what are you doing here?” Seeing you standing behind the counter smiling at him, gives Renjun a warm and comfy feeling. It was like all of his worries evaporated into thin air as soon as your beautiful face smiled up at him. “Hi love, came to see you. I needed a fresh breath of air.” You walk around the counter to give him a quick kiss on the cheek, the rag still in your left hand. As expected, his insides are feeling fuzzy again.

You’ve always had that effect on him. Renjun didn’t really mind holding your hand in public or you leaning on him, but kisses, even if only on the cheek, are something intimate to him, so he only really initiates them in public if he really misses you. Otherwise they are kept for when you two are in private. “Trouble with painting again?” Renjun smiles sheepishly. Of course, you would figure him out. But he doesn’t mind and fortunately, you don’t know what exactly he was painting. “Yeah, I think I’ve been on it for a bit too long. You and a nice cup of tea will surely help.” Renjun isn’t a big fan of coffee, he preferred drinking tea over coffee any day. Whenever he comes around the coffee shop you work at, he either orders tea or just some pastry to snack on, sometimes both if he feels like looking at you a little longer. Often Renjun thinks about how pretty you look and about how he could watch you for hours. He realizes that thought might be creepy but you didn’t mind when he told you about it one day. It’s him after all, not some stranger. 

You quickly wipe down the table before going behind the counter again to prepare his drink. Today, Renjun chose to drink lemon tea. Being the nice girlfriend that you are, you gave him a small cookie on the side as well. Sadly, he can’t spend much time talking to you as new customers come in. That‘s why he sits down at a table and enjoys his tea and the cookie. How nice it would be if we could just sit on my bed and talk. Or rather on her bed, can’t have her seeing the painting. Occasionally, he looks over to see you wiping down tables and you wink at him. He was right, a tea and you definitely help to calm his mind. Renjun spends about twenty minutes in the coffee shop before he gets up and gives you a sweet goodbye. It is time to return to the dorm and continue his painting.

For now, he plans to continue with a few details of trees. Maybe having a fresh look at the sparks tomorrow is a better idea. Not counting today, 5 days were left till your birthday, which meant he effectively has 2 to 3 days left to paint since oil paint, even with a quick drying medium, still needs comparatively long to dry. After working for about half an hour on the details of the trees in the back, Renjun feels a little better about his painting. He takes this as an incentive to end the day with a positive feeling and grabs his camera again. “Okay guys, I’m calling it quits for today. It’s about 8 pm already. I think it’s better to tackle the sparks tomorrow. ” Renjun quickly shows the current state of his painting before he turns off the camera. 

The next day is a Saturday, meaning Renjun has all day to paint and he wakes up with a good feeling. He quickly eats breakfast and immediately wants to get to painting, so he sets up his camera to further film his painting process. It’s time to focus on the sparks. The ones he already painted were in different colors, namely pink, yellow, blue and red. But looking at his canvas with a fresh set of eyes, he realizes they were not bright enough for his liking. They aren’t really sparkling. Maybe the feeling he got last evening of them not “flying” in the forest nicely was caused by that. He needs to paint in such a way that they look like they were actually sparkling. Renjun has the revelation that he needs to add highlights to the sparks. Adding highlights to them would ensure that the sparks stand out more against the forest, making them more interesting and giving the painting a more refined look. He likes that approach. Maybe he can even place the highlights in such a way that it would have the effect of letting single sparks look more apart from others. This way his problem of the placement of some sparks would be solved, at least to some extent. 

For the next hour Renjun works on adding enough highlights and blending around the sparks. He also adds a few more sparks to the forest. Taking a few steps back from his canvas, he regards the result. This time, Renjun definitely likes it a lot more. The sparks look nice against the dark forest and shine in different colors. It felt realistic and he was happy with the outcome so far. He grabs his camera, “Finally guys, I managed to paint the sparks in a way I’m satisfied with. I had the realization this morning that I needed to add highlights to them and I’m happy to report that it was a good idea.” Renjun shows his viewers the current state of his painting. “I’m thinking of continuing with the details of the two bent trees in the front. I only have a few days left to paint and I still need to work on the details of the pond.” Renjun puts his camera back on his desk again, before facing the canvas. These two trees still need leaves and defined roots. He wants to make them look like they are quite old.

Basically, Renjun spent the rest of his day painting, except for the occasional toilet and food break. After hours in front of his canvas, his head hurts. His bedroom is cold because of the opened window, yet he still feels the effects of the oil paint. Whatever. I need to continue at least a little bit more. At this point, the two trees forming a heart are finished. Renjun added a few bushes to the forest as well and moss around the pond. Since he had decided to make the path leading to the pond a blueish white, he worked on that as well. This way, it seems like the moon lights it up. Of course, he also needs to add highlights to the crown of the trees. He thinks about whether to make them a different color, but ultimately decides to go with the same blueish white since it ties in better with his concept of the moon shining down on the forest. Renjun wants to finish that part today, before calling it quits for tonight. It should take him under half an hour to finish this detail and then he can enjoy a bowl of ramen before going to bed.

The following day, Renjun can’t really continue working on his painting since it needs to dry, so he mainly spends the day working on his art history essay that is due for Tuesday’s class. He already had planned it ahead, which is why he had mainly focused on his painting for you yesterday. Since it needed to dry for him to continue, Renjun can use today for his assignment. He needs to write an essay about the way leadership and power gets depicted in art. For that he had to choose a picture to analyze and write about. Renjun knows he is pushing it a bit late but since he doesn’t plan to work on anything else today, he figures it’s fine. He’s sure that he can finish the assignment today and if not, he still has a bit of tomorrow left. It is only supposed to be four pages long anyway. How hard can that be, right? Well turns out a little harder than he had thought. Renjun spends around three hours in front of his laptop before he decides to take a break. I really should eat something. After all this writing his brain needs energy and a break. Standing up from his desk, he turns around and his gaze falls on the canvas in his room. Renjun inspects it carefully from a distance and actually likes the result. Of course, it still isn’t finished. He definitely needs to add a few more details. The bend trees need to look more interesting and realistic. A few more details on the trees in the back would be good. Maybe I also should add a few more sparks-– his finger twitches. There is nothing more that Renjun wants in this moment than to grab his brush and continue painting, perfecting your present. But right now is not the time. He shakes his head lightly. Still needs to dry. 

Trying to get his thoughts away from the painting, Renjun decides on what show to watch while he eats something. Surprisingly, he has been enjoying a Chinese drama you recommended lately, but maybe watching the next 40-minutes episode isn’t such a great idea with an unfinished essay sitting on his desk. So he decides to just watch a YouTube video. Twenty minutes later, Renjun sits at his desk again and continues with his essay. That’s basically how he spends his whole afternoon. Around 6 pm he is actually almost finished with the essay. That’s why he decides to get up and go into the kitchen to make some ramen. He knows that he ate a little too much ramen throughout the week but they are really just so convenient when he doesn’t have much time to cook. 

However, on the way to the kitchen, his doorbell suddenly rings. Renjun isn’t expecting anyone, his roommate might have but Jay doesn’t come out of his room to open the door. So when the bell rings a second time, Renjun opens the door. To his surprise, it’s you. You stand there, smiling at him, dressed in an oversized jacket and plaid pajama pants, a small handbag on top of your right shoulder and a plastic bag in your left hand. As usual, you look cute and cozy but Renjun can’t really concentrate on that. He only stares at you. Why is she here? Did I miss something? And then it hits him. He curses in his head, you’re here for the movie night you both agreed on last week. Seems like amidst all the painting and college he forgot about it. Good going Renjun. You tilt your head a little to the side, “Baby, are you going to let me in?” Renjun’s mind immediately goes to your gift. Damn it, the painting’s still in my room! He can’t possibly let you see it. In panic, Renjun turns his head back, looking into the flat. He needs to come up with some kind of excuse right now, on the spot, “Love, babe, give me like 2 minutes okay, my room’s kinda messy”, he looks at you, his hand already resting on the door to close it. “Jun, you know I don’t care about that”, you step forward, laughing a little but he holds his ground. “No really, just give me like 5 minutes”, Renjun doesn’t give you any time to properly react and closes the door. 

Quickly jogging into his room, he looks around. He only needs to hide the canvas, his paints and brushes aren’t a problem. But where should he hide it? Behind the closet? No way, too risky. The kitchen, no it’s right next to the front door. And then it hits him. Jay! Carefully grabbing the canvas, Renjun quickly goes across the hall and knocks on his roommate’s door. “Listen dude, my girl’s just outside the door but I can’t have her see this painting. Can I please hide it in your room for a few hours?” Fortunately, Renjun and Jay get along well. “Oh yeah sure” Jay points to the corner next to his dresser, “you can put it there dude” Renjun quickly puts the painting down and thanks Jay like three times before he goes to get you. “Okay love, you can come in.” “Thank you for being so gracious, your highness” You jokingly bow down before entering, Renjun shakes his head, closes the door and grabs your hand. You do sometimes have this amusingly bizarre streak. “How come you suddenly felt the need to tidy up your room for me? Hiding something?”, you tease him. Renjun almost scratches his head. Surely, if he would’ve done that you would be more suspicious of him. “It’s just messy babe. I want you to be comfortable.” Humming, you decide to give him the benefit of the doubt. It sure seems like he didn’t expect you to come over today though. “Did you forget our movie night, Junnie?” Renjun smiles apologetically and nods, “Sorry love, promise, next time I won’t forget.” He squeezes your hand. Renjun normally isn’t the person to forget your dates. Spending time with you is one of his favorite things to do but even he can sometimes forget. You don’t mind, he’s also just human. Besides, you know Renjun had a couple of deadlines lately. 

Entering his room, the familiar sight of art materials, a few soda cans and an easel greets you. Renjun keeps his room mostly tidy except for whenever exam season hits and he has to deal with many art projects at the same time. Renjun’s habit of spending too much on details leads him to making full use of the deadlines, which in return stresses him out so much that he doesn’t bother a lot with cleaning. To you that’s fine, you aren’t much different in that aspect. Besides, why add more stress to exams by worrying about whether your room is clean or not. You make your way to his bed and put your handbag down, your gaze finding the empty easel in the middle of his room. That usually means he’s working on something. “Jun, what have you been working on?” Renjun’s gaze quickly follows yours. Dang, should’ve put that away! Okay, just say something. Quick! “Ahh love, you know I have a few projects due soon. I’ve been spending a lot of time painting.” Renjun sits down next to you, nodding as if he was trying to reassure himself that he wasn’t caught by you. But technically he didn’t lie. Quickly trying to change the subject, he grabs your plastic bag. Before coming over to Renjun’s place, you quickly got a few snacks at a convenience store. “No movie without snacks right? Oh and I got you some ramen as well, Jun.” He looks inside the plastic bag, it contains chips in two different flavors, some gummy bears, his favorite ramen and pretzel snacks. “Thank you love, I should still have some soda in the fridge for us.” Renjun stands up and takes a step in the direction of the door but halts as you grab his wrist. “Jun, can we prepare the ramen now? I’m actually quite hungry, I haven’t had dinner yet.” You’re hoping he agrees as the last thing you ate today was just a piece of toast a couple of hours ago. After your eight hour shift at work today you worked a little on an assignment before buying the snacks for tonight. Renjun immediately agrees, laughing a little. “Sure, I’ve literally wanted to make myself some ramen before you rang the bell.”

After cooking the ramen and grabbing two soda cans, you’re sitting on Renjun’s bed while turns off the lights before he grabs his laptop. Since he knows how much you like to have a few scented candles lit up while watching a movie, Renjun also does that before sitting cross-legged next to you and putting his blanket over you both. Turning on the third Harry Potter movie, you cuddle up to him and enjoy the evening together. Three weeks ago, Renjun and you had decided to rewatch all HP movies and so far you both enjoyed it very much. It’s been years since the last time you watched them, so you figured doing it together would be fun. That’s why you’ve met up with Renjun once a week for movie night, snacking away your worries and college stress for at least the few hours that you spend together with him. Sitting together under the blanket and just spending time together with him is one of your favorite things to do. It doesn’t matter if you watch a movie or drink tea together, you just enjoy spending time in Renjun’s arms. How can you not? Renjun is just so good to cuddle. That’s why you always end up putting your head on his shoulder, hugging him and it’s no different today. Your head is resting on his shoulder and his arm around you. 

From time to time Renjun gives your body a little squeeze and feeds you snacks. He also sneaks a few glances at you. Seeing you so comfortable around him, makes his insides feel warm. So cute. He might love you a little more every time he sees you like this. You aren’t wearing any makeup and aren’t dressed up, yet you manage to make him attracted to you nonetheless. There is just something so attractive about you being your true self around him, not caring about how you look in your pajamas or how much you snack. Suddenly, Renjun feels the urge to kiss you. If only you weren’t so focused on the movie, “My love”. You hum as an answer, eyes still glued on the laptop screen. “Look at me please.” You lift your head off his shoulder and Renjun just looks at you lovingly. While you slowly sit up, he can only think about how you really are the most beautiful woman he set his eyes on. Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, he slowly leans in. Renjun believes there is nothing better in the world than moments like these. Moments where everything fades into the background and only you two seem to exist. Moments where he can be very close to you and his lips can meet yours in a loving and intimate way. Your lips are soft and smooth in such a way it feels like kissing the clouds. Your hand naturally finds its way into Renjun’s hair. His right hand cups your cheek while his lips move slowly against yours. His other hand rests on your waist and after a loving moment, Renjun tilts his head a little more to the side, deepening the kiss. His lips still taste a little of the ramen you two had earlier but you don’t mind. Kissing him is always great. In a sense, kissing him is like drinking a cup of hot cocoa on cold winter days. Renjun’s kisses give you comfort, warmth and a sense of belonging like you’ve never felt before. Even in very passionate moments, where kissing him stole your breath away, Renjun is caring and gentle. Just like now as he holds you a little closer, loving you a little more. His hand, previously on your cheek, moves down, stroking your waist. Slowly he pulls away, hands still on your waist. “I love you.” Truly, you’re one of the people that make him the happiest. Smiling, you lean into him to place your lips on his one more time, portraying your love for him. “I love you too.” Putting your head on his shoulder again, you notice the movie is still playing. Both of you return to watching and enjoying it further. 

Around halfway through the movie, the cozy atmosphere and dim lit room actually make you sleepy. You did have a long day today and after a while, Renjun notices your lack of comments and snacking. Turning his head to look at you, he sees you fast asleep on his shoulder. Not wanting you to be cold, he places the blanket further up your body and tightens his arm around you. Renjun is unsure about waking you. Since you don’t need to work tomorrow morning, you could sleep over today. It’s been quite a while anyway since the last time you slept over at his place. To be honest, he kind of misses falling asleep with you next to him. However, if you are to sleep over, the painting will need to stay in Jay’s room for the night. I guess I could ask him. He probably wouldn’t mind. Renjun decides he would ask. So he slowly begins to move your head from his shoulder, hoping you won’t wake up. He really tries to be careful but apparently isn’t careful enough since you slowly start to wake up while he tries to lay your head down onto a pillow. Slowly sitting up, you quietly mumble his name. Your hooded eyes find the laptop screen still playing the movie. “I’m sorry love, didn’t wanna wake you” “It’s okay. When did I fall asleep?” Renjun smiles, “I’m not sure, some time ago.” “Oh”  “Yeah, oh” He laughs a little. “Do you wanna sleep over, love?” You nod, you can just leave in the morning since you don’t need to work until the afternoon shift begins. Renjun and you decide to just wash up and relax in his bed. He doesn’t need to finish the movie and you’re so tired, you probably would’ve fallen asleep again anyways. Closing his laptop, you make your way to the bathroom he shares with his roommate. Renjun always has a toothbrush prepared for you even if you didn’t sleep over most nights. It’s pretty cute and someway along you also started to pick up that habit of his for whenever he would sleep over at your dorm. That didn’t happen so often though since you share your dorm room with another girl. It’s definitely more comfortable to sleep at his place since he has a room to himself. 

While you’re in the bathroom, Renjun quickly makes his way to Jay’s room and knocks quietly. In hindsight, he could’ve also just sent him a text but whatever, Jay already opened the door. “Hey man, y/n’s gonna sleep over. Is it okay if the painting stays with you tonight?” Jay doesn’t have a problem with it. It’s just in a corner anyway, so the painting doesn’t really bother him. Having solved that problem, Renjun makes his way back into his room and starts to put the snacks away before getting you a shirt and sweatpants to wear for the night. Just in case she wants to get out of her pajama pants. Shortly after, you enter. “Here love, you can get changed if you want while I brush my teeth”, Renjun points to the clothes on the bed that he neatly laid out for you. You’ve always liked sleeping in his clothes, somehow it’s another kind of comfy. Maybe it’s because they always smell like him and how is a girl able to resist that? “Thank you Jun”, you quickly kiss his cheek before he leaves the room. Looking around you notice that Renjun already blew out the candles and sorted out his bed. After quickly changing your clothes, you grab a corner of his blanket and slip under it. 

Not even three minutes pass before he opens the door to his room. A soft smile makes its way onto Renjun’s lips as he sees you already comfy and ready in bed, waiting for him. Seems like the tiredness is slowly creeping up on you again. My poor baby. It’s not even 9:30 and she’s ready to call it a day. Renjun quickly turns off his light and gets in bed next to you. You turn around to face him and his arm automatically wraps itself around your waist, pulling you a little closer. You place your hand on his chest while your head rests on his arm. Renjun slowly strokes your hair, soft eyes looking at you in the dark. After a few minutes, you snuggle a little closer to him. Cuddling him like this makes you even more sleepy. You nuzzle your face into his chest, giving him the perfect opportunity to lay a sweet kiss on top of your head. Renjun rests his cheek against the top of your head. Little words are exchanged as you welcome the comfortable and sleepy atmosphere. Except for your breathing, your heartbeats and the occasional sound of the blanket shuffling, the room is silent. You love moments like these. You love when Renjun cuddles with you, when you can feel his arms holding your body closely and his soft breath against your hair. You’ve always had a soft spot for his hugs anyway and being so close to him that you can listen to his heartbeat while feeling the warmth radiating from his body gives another level of bliss. You actually want to stay awake a little longer, want to consciously feel his body for some time more but it’s getting progressively harder for you to stay awake and Renjun sees how you struggle to. He murmurs against your hair, “Close your eyes, love. I know you had a long day” You feel another kiss on your hair and mumble an “I love you” to him before closing your eyes and letting sleep take over you. You barely manage to hear him say it back before you fully fall asleep.  

Opening your eyes the next morning, Renjun’s sleeping face greets you. His hair is kind of messy and his shirt got pulled down a bit, exposing part of his collarbones. Renjun’s arm rests on top of your hip and your feet are touching. Watching him for a few minutes, you get lost in your thoughts. There’s just something different about him in this relaxed state. It’s like all the world’s stress and pressure can’t get to him, like he can truly be undisturbed and there’s nothing in the world less than peace and happiness that you wish for Renjun. You know he has tendencies that make his life, especially his college life, a little more difficult than it needs to be. But honestly who knew an art major could be so demanding? You used to have this picture in your head of an art major being easy. After all, the students only need to paint stuff, right? Yeah, not exactly. Because of Renjun, you were able to glance beyond surface level and it turns out, studying art is harder than it seems. Renjun has written exams, almost weekly mini art projects for his classes, he needs to hold presentations and when exam season comes around his room is piled up with different art materials for his creative projects. It truly seems like you have to love art to study it or else you will drown. Renjun gives his all for college and you love that for him but him being a perfectionist adds another layer of difficulty to his degree. Sometimes he really needs to relax. That’s why you like seeing him resting so much. He can shut the world out and doesn’t fry his brain with details of his unfinished projects. You get to see him recovering from all the work he puts into his passion. 

You regard Renjun‘s sleeping state for a little while longer. The sun falls beautifully on him, partly on his face and hair. It highlights his slightly puffy face that he tends to get in the mornings. Your hand unconsciously reaches out and begins to stroke his hair slowly. Feeling your hand caressing his hair, Renjun stirs a little and sighs. It’s a very cute sight. Slowly opening his eyes after a few minutes, he smiles at you. Tightening his arm around your waist, you exchange a small kiss. Spending the morning with Renjun is usually a calm and loving experience. He likes to take his time in the mornings whenever he can, especially when he’s still a little sleepy. So you both spend a while wrapped in each other’s arms with quiet murmurs to not disturb the morning quietness, taking in the warmth of one another before slowly getting out of bed to get ready. After eating breakfast together you need to leave to go home. Since you didn’t plan on spending the night, you plan on making a stop at your dorm, changing into a different outfit and maybe reading a little before going to work today.

As soon as you left, Renjun got his painting from Jay’s room. Today is the last day he can work on it since the painting needs to be dry for your birthday. After spending the last evening with you, Renjun feels quite good this morning. He feels like he can finish the painting in time and that he’ll like the outcome. The painting still needs details to the pond. It hopefully won’t take more than two hours. After that, Renjun still needs to add finishing touches to your gift. He starts with the pond by adding light blue highlights and a few branches that touch the water before letting the paint rest a little. In the meantime, he moves on to the finishing touches of other parts of the painting. Renjun had planned on spending the majority of today to finish your gift. Unfortunately, he can’t varnish it yet because it needs a few months to properly dry before he can put the varnish on top to fully seal it. However, for your birthday it will be enough for the painting to be dry to touch. After adding a little more detail to the trees in the background and defining a few of them a bit more, Renjun continues with the two main trees forming the heart. He decides to add some moss to the tree barks. 

However, after regarding the thin layer of moss he painted, he isn’t really satisfied. It seems a bit too flat for his liking, so he decides to try a different approach and goes to the kitchen to get some coffee. Maybe adding a few sprinkles of ground coffee into the paint will create a more natural finish. After trying it out on a paper and liking it, he uses his mixture of paint and coffee for the moss on the canvas. Looks pretty good. Being satisfied with the moss, Renjun takes a few steps away from his canvas to have a look at the pond. It doesn’t necessarily look bad but there’s still something he doesn’t like. He feels like it’s kind of looking boring, which probably is because of a lack of details. That’s why for the next hour or so he spends his time perfecting the pond. In a spur of inspiration, Renjun also decides to add shadows of little fish inside the water.

Just in time for a small food break, Renjun finishes with the painting for now. He decides to come back to it after eating a bowl of ramen to regard it one last time before deciding if it’s really finished or not. Twenty minutes later, after he finished eating, Renjun stands in his room with crossed arms in front of the canvas. The window is open again, still his room very much smells like oil paints. His shirt and hands have paint on them, he truly looks like an artist in this moment. To him, there’s something strangely satisfying whenever he gets lost in painting so much that his hands and clothes show the proof. Renjun is satisfied with the outcome. It looks great. Exactly how I envisioned it. Finally. The forest looks enchanted, mysterious and doesn’t have too much or too little detail. It looks like a forest one could stumble upon in a fantasy world and that’s what he was going for. She will surely like it. Smiling, Renjun starts to collect his art materials to clean them.

But suddenly, he gets a thought. I totally forgot to film! He quickly gets his camera and presses record. “Hi painters, it’s the last day of painting. Tomorrow is just for drying and then it’s y/n’s birthday. I actually already finished the painting but forgot to film it. Sorry about that. It’s around 5 pm right now. Last night, y/n stayed over so I couldn’t wake up extra early to finish it. But it’s okay, I finished anyway. Have a look at the result.” Renjun turns his camera to show the canvas. “This is the finished product. I added details to the pond and some finishing touches today and I made some spontaneous decisions that turned out really well actually. ” He zooms in on the moss. “For the moss I added ground coffee into my paint. It gives it a more realistic finish, maybe give it a try some time.” Renjun laughs a little, “I think I might use this hack more often.” He turns the camera to show himself again, “I’m super satisfied with the result and actually very happy that I got finished in time. Although I wouldn’t recommend that you guys start a project this size in such a short time frame. Honestly, it was quite stressful. But I’m glad I was able to pull it off and I know for a fact that y/n’s gonna like it. Thank you guys so much for watching!” Turning his camera off, Renjun let out a happy sigh.

He didn’t immediately start editing the video though. It’s really time to take a break. Renjun just finished a big project and wants to celebrate. That’s why he quickly cleans up his room and video calls the dreamies’ group chat. Haechan is the first one to pick up “Look who came back from the dead.” Renjun laughs dryly and right after Mark joins the video chat, “Yo whats up?” Soon enough all the dreamies join and Renjun tells them about how he’s finally finished with the painting. Of course they want to see it, which is why Renjun switches to his phone’s back camera. “Dude, that looks so cool!” “I think she’s definitely gonna like it” “How come you never paint me a pic like that?” “Are you my girlfriend?”, Renjun deadpans. Haechan sulks a bit, “No.” “See. Now anyways, do you guys wanna hang out tonight?” It’s been a while since all of them hung out together anyway. “Yeah, we could try out that new Mexican restaurant near my place.” Renjun likes Jeno’s idea and everyone agrees, except for Jisung. “Guys, I have to finish an assignment by Wednesday. Can I join a bit later?” Mark reassures Jisung that his assignment was more important. “For sure dude, work on your assignment. We’ll save you a spot.” An hour later, the dreamies are sitting in the restaurant, going over the menu. Renjun thinks it’s nice to spend time together again, catching up and joking around. 

After Jisung joins, the whole group is complete and they spend the evening eating delicious food and talking. Renjun knows that he shouldn’t spend too much money there but stressful days of assignments and the painting is coming to an end and he wants to enjoy himself. That’s why he goes for dessert even when he was kinda full already. It’s okay, I deserve it. Soon, the relaxing evening comes to an end and the boys part ways. The day after tomorrow they’ll meet up at Jeno’s place to celebrate your birthday. You know it’s a bit strange to celebrate your birthday at Jeno’s place and you were a little hesitant at first. Of course you and Jeno are friends because of Junnie and your bestie, but not that close. Originally, you had planned to just hang out somewhere in the park but the weather has been kind of on the colder side lately. But, Jeno assured you that it’s fine. He’s living alone, meaning he has enough space to host your small birthday get-together. Having some people over is nice anyway and he knows most of the people you invited. Besides the dreamies and your best friend, only two other friends of yours were expected to come. So it’s really fine for Jeno. Not to mention, his girlfriend, your bestie, would probably be somewhat upset if he said no to you. You were the person to introduce them after all. 

The next day Renjun slept in. His to do list doesn’t include much for today, mainly getting some nice wrapping for your gift. He also plans on visiting you at work again. It’s going to be a pretty simple day but he likes that his day doesn’t include any stress. Tomorrow, the day of your birthday, he’ll buy you some flowers and your favorite chocolate before meeting up with Mark. He was so nice to offer Renjun to put the painting in his car and drive to Jeno’s place together. This way he won’t need to take the painting on the subway. Renjun is pretty excited for you to see his gift. Of course he knows that you would like it but he still looks forward to your reaction. Since Jeno’s place allows for more room, Renjun plans to show up a bit earlier to decorate the place tomorrow. He excluded you from decorating on purpose and had said he was gonna handle it and so you let him. That boy can be stubborn. Renjun wants to keep his painting out of your sight for as long as he can. 

So when he and Mark arrive at Jeno’s place with your gift on the day of your birthday, Renjun puts it in Jeno’s bedroom. He knows you aren’t gonna go in there, so it’s a safe spot to hide it. After making sure the painting isn’t gonna slip while he’s away, Renjun starts to prepare snack bowls and places your cake into the fridge, before helping Jeno and Mark with some balloons and a happy birthday sign. There wasn’t much to prepare since you just want to spend your birthday relaxing with your friends. So soon enough, the three of them finish and around 6 pm everyone you invited is gathered on the floor around Jeno’s couch table, playing some board games and catching up. Throughout the day, Renjun films a few moments of your get-together. He wants to include your birthday party but especially your reaction to his present in his video. As the evening passes you turn to karaoke, singing songs from ABBA to Little Mix. At one point Renjun even starts to serenade you. He puts on quite a performance, singing Hot by Avril Lavigne and you totally enjoy it. It’s pretty funny actually, he’s pointing in your direction and dancing around. It’s nice seeing him so carefree. You’re kinda tempted to join and serenade him but he won’t let you outperform him anyway. Besides, Renjun really has a lot of energy to spend. It’s already 8 pm, gifts still haven’t been exchanged and he’s excited but also somewhat nervous for your reaction. He hopes you’ll love the painting as much as he does. However, there’s a part of him that fears he chose the wrong thing to paint but he tries to ignore that voice. You’re gonna love it, he just needs to keep on reminding himself of that.  

To say your reaction didn’t disappoint would’ve been an understatement. Renjun actually managed to hold himself in check till he was the last one left to give his gift. You really like the gifts you got this year. From a new book to new skin care you’ve been eyeing for a while, your friends put thought into them and that’s what counts and makes you happy. Two of your friends left half an hour ago, cause it’s kinda late already. The boys spontaneously had decided to sleep over at Jeno’s place, so it’s only you, your bestie and the dreamies left. “Okay, time for the finale”, for some reason, Haechan is very excited for your reaction to Renjun’s gift as well. He secretly plans to take pictures of you two. Earlier today, he also appointed Jisung to take a video. “Give me a minute, love. I’ll get your gift” Renjun squeezes your hand, giving you a smile. You look over at the boys and they just have smiles on their faces. It’s obvious that you’re gonna like the painting. Really, Renjun doesn’t have anything to worry about. A minute later, he comes back with the painting in wrapping paper. He chose one with a leaf print on it. It looks nice and maybe it could give you a bit of foreshadowing on what the gift entailed. “Happy birthday, love” Renjun sets the painting down, holding it in place and signals for you to open it. “I hope you like it” 

It’s clear that his gift was some kind of painting. Knowing Renjun, you guess that he actually painted it. “You painted for me?”, you place your hand on the gift. There was a certain smoothness to the wrapping paper. Renjun murmurs a small yes and the thought alone that he had painted you something this big was enough to make you tear up. He must’ve spent hours on this, hours just to make you happy. Sometimes you question how you were so blessed to have someone like him love you. Renjun really is giving his all to make you happy. Slowly, you unwrap the painting. Piece by piece different colors shine towards you, greens, some darker and some lighter, brown and little colorful spots. As soon as you unwrap the gift completely, you have a proper look at the painting and almost can’t believe your eyes. It’s so beautiful and perfect. You would’ve never expected such an amazing gift from him. You can’t believe Renjun would spend so much effort just for you. He put so much detail and love into the painting and it feels like you could see that from a mile away. This was the most thoughtful gift anyone ever gave you. You couldn’t possibly describe the meaning this holds for you. It’s so mesmerizing, the way the colors dance on the canvas, how he managed to portray feelings into his painting and really make it come alive. In a way it feels like the gift expresses how much Renjun loves you. 

You’re so overwhelmed and touched by the painting, the hard work and love he must’ve put into it that the only thing you can do is let out a sob. Renjun definitely didn’t expect that reaction. His eyes widen and he starts to panic inside. No no no, she hates it? I should’ve chosen something else, damn it! Your hand naturally finds its way onto your mouth, more tears rolling down your cheeks while you admire the painting for a few moments more. You know Renjun has always put thought into the gifts he got you, but this really is on another level. The amount of devotion he put into making this is unbelievable. You’ve never seen more beautiful art than this painting and he did it with his own two hands.

Renjun’s wide-eyed gaze finds Mark’s but he also doesn’t know what to do. It’s like Renjun’s worst nightmare comes true right in front of his eyes. How could I be so stupid! Damn it! I was so sure she’s gonna like it. “Baby-”, Renjun’s ready to apologize and go buy you a better gift immediately but you don’t even give him time to finish his sentence. Throwing your arms around him, you hug him tight. “Thank you, thank you.” Four simple words and Renjun’s world stopped crumbling. He is beyond relieved. It’s like all his panicky thoughts leave his body instantly. He lets out a small laugh, hugging you back and smiling into your shoulder. You actually like it, like really like it. “It’s so beautiful. Thank you so much” Your heart almost can’t handle the thought of Renjun giving you something so precious, so beautiful. “Baby you almost gave me a heart attack.” You lean back a bit, mumbling a small sorry before placing your lips onto his. Renjun’s lips were soft and smooth like always. His kiss makes your stomach flip. He’s truly yours, not going anywhere and loving you like no other guy ever has. Renjun’s arms tighten around yours before you tilt your head a little, deepening the kiss and soon enough you hear a mixture of complaints from the boys. “Okay, what the heck” “Ew, leave that for later guys” Renjun blushes a bit, pulling away slowly. He really isn’t used to doing that in front of the boys. Pecking his lips one last time, you loosen your grip and just smile at him. “Dang,” Haechan looks at the pictures he took of you two kissing, “I really need to learn how to paint”.

a/n: excuse any painting process parts or art major parts that might be inaccurate haha, oh and if you wanna request something, I’m open to hear your idea :)

[marbleboa]

Hiii sorry but lately I've been hyperfixated on the 7th division and Takeuchi ended up being my fav... And I saw your art of him and I loved it, I wanted to know if you had any headcanons about him ;3

Absolutely delighted to see a Takeuchi guy here, take my hand op. I do indeed have Many Thoughts, a lot of these more character musings than straightforward headcanons but! I hope these rambles interest you!

-I made this post a bit ago talking about how his whole Battle Mode deal changes his body, and further building on that— I imagine the frequent use of this has taken its toll, similar to Shibata: issues with his back, joints, etc. Projecting my TMJ on him as well, though I think all of this does ease somewhat as he uses his powers less and starts taking better care of himself.

-The power of his energy blasts is somewhat dampened by comparatively long charge up times and the way he always announces his attacks to enemies. He’s very particular about making sure all of his battle moves have impressive names—often several-words long.

-He and Mob are on a similar wavelength to me. Something something Ishiguro talking about how hard to read Takeuchi is, the way he skirts on the edge of the rest of the Scars’ circle, the way his powers seemed to be the only part of him valued by others…it’s like a different, lonelier path Mob could’ve gone on. I think he has similar difficulties figuring out what he wants from his future, like we see from Mob at the start of season 3.

-I think he’s close with Tsuchiya. Granted this is an anime only thing, but I really liked the detail where when Tsuchiya tackles Shimazaki off a building she calls out for Takeuchi by name and he immediately moves to help. It feels like a maneuver they’ve done before, like they know each other well enough to know what the other needs in a fight. It makes sense that they’d train together with both their powers being classified as qigong too.

-Post-Claw I feel like a few of the Scars go through this phase but Takeuchi especially, he gets in this mindset of like. I must now use my powers against Evil™️ so I can make up for what I’ve done. Because…fighting with powers, black/white ideologies, that’s a lot more familiar to the Scars than writing resumes or apartment-hunting or dealing with other people. Once Claw falls he does this vigilante stuff aimlessly for a while(maybe even runs into Teru again doing the same thing, haha).

-Following from that, I think eventually he gets back in touch with Tsuchiya and stays with her and Mukai for a while as he figures out what he wants to do. (I’m. Not quite sure what that is myself. I’m working on it)

-After Claw, he, Muraki and Sakurai have a book club every other Saturday. Takeuchi enjoys mystery novels.

-There’s more I’d like to research on the particulars re: ethnicities especially so I can improve on how I draw his features, but thus far I’ve been imagining at least part of his ancestry being somewhere from southern India.

-I’ve dabbled with the idea that his name is actually a tsūshōmei, or legal alias, something long-term residents of Japan from other countries can get for various reasons. One thought I had was that Toichiro picked him up in his global search for espers, and he was given another name by Claw to cover up any connection to his family. Or, someone in his family made that change after they started living in Japan, and he was born there under that name. Not sure if I’ll commit to this though, more to look into there too.

-I definitely think he was kidnapped by the organization some way or another— his powers were likely very strong at a young age so they probably got to him under the guise of mentorship. I’d like to think he eventually tries to get back in touch with his family once Claw’s gone.

-Really likes birds. He and Muraki are in close competition for Pigeons of Seasoning City’s Favorite

-He’s ambidextrous!

[sensitiveheartless]

hi, I just wanted to drop in and say that I don’t know what it is about your art and writing but on my absolute worst days it seems to be the only thing that makes me feel the slightest bit warmer. maybe not better exactly but warm, idk how to explain it. uh. the point is I don’t know what special ingredient you put in your works but. it’s working. please keep doing it! you’re really awesome and I hope you’re doing ok, at least compared to earlier.

(also maybe a bit of a weird note, but I tried making soup from scratch a few months ago when I didn’t know what to do with myself. it turned out absolutely terribly which was disappointing and surprising seeing as everything else I’ve tried to make has come out decently well. After a dramatic month where I swore I would never touch soup again, I kept experimenting and a few days ago I made one that was half decent - a nice spicy broth with lots of vegetables. I probably wouldn’t have tried to make it if it hadn’t come up so often in your works, which I know is a bit silly but the idea of making soup as a comfort thing got stuck in my head and what do you know? it was comforting. and a bit rewarding too haha. I already decided I’m making more tonight.)

god sorry this is so long and probably way more to throw at you, a stranger really, than I should have, but I guess I just wanted to let you know? as much of a cliché as it is, sometimes little things really do hit in all the right ways.

I’m going to be so embarrassed after I send this lol

quick! send it send it!

Anon you will make me cry (in a good way!), this is so sweet and honestly really encouraging to hear ;; I’m really happy the stuff I make has helped you in any small way, and I will continue to do my best! :D

I have been slower with making things lately than I’d prefer — I have a couple chronic health issues that’ve been flaring up and making things difficult, especially energy-wise. But drawing and writing always help keep me going, so I’m absolutely gonna keep on keepin’ on! And I hope the stuff I make can keep helping you in little ways <3

(Also congrats on the soup success!! Making it from scratch isn’t easy alskdjfj I still get a bit paranoid I’m gonna mess it up when I’m making it by myself, particularly the spices — like I’m gonna put in way too much or too little and ruin the whole thing, but luckily it’s always a bit more forgiving than I expect. More to the point, I’m so glad your efforts paid off! My comfort-soup fixation encouraging you to keep experimenting is so fun alsksjdjfj that is not something I was expecting to ever come out of the stuff I make but it’s awesome! :D)

(Also here is a soupkoku doodle channeling my weird thing with worrying about spices)

Hope you have a lovely day today, anon!✨

[thebridgeburnercomic]

(Edited to add a bit more* to the “fresh inspiration”section.) Since I have basically been confined to the couch/bed for a few months art stuff for Burner hasn’t really been a thing that’s been happening

BUT

the obsession and constant brainstorming for it never took a break, so instead of finished panels and pages I have 85% of a story laid out from start to finish and im thrilled about it because:

1) I don’t really consider myself a writer, and my entire life I have struggled to get stories laid out from start to finish, even just in a bare bones W plot or something. So to get to this point feels kinda surreal

2) some things I had planned for the story’s world have changed significantly for the better, which has created more tension and conflict and goddamn do I love fictional tension and conflict

3) certain characters are having their loose threads woven in so nicely that it feels like it was part of the plan the entire time. even old jokey tie-ins from 3-4 years ago now have significant roles in the plot that carry characters or stay with some of them til the end

4) I’ve gained a tremendous amount of fresh raw inspiration from my own life. My comic was always intended to explore variations and retellings of my own experiences and observations, but lately I got all sorts of inspiration from all kinds of stuff! medical neglect in many different forms, severe depression and the effects of isolation, the process of trying to seek diagnoses and/or treatment without being labeled a “drug seeker”, what one even does with oneself in the ER when stuck there for a long ass time, and how a person copes with unmanaged pain for a significant part of their life. * Ive also discovered various ways a person finds comfort, seen what happens when a second wind truly catches, tasting different flavors of hope, and how I seem to find it at the weirdest times. A person’s language changes, their perspective of the world changes, their ideas of the Self change, their concept of what it even means to socialize changes. Literally everything begins to warp and distort, even though most everything is kind of the same as it was before the symptoms first appeared.

All this is just to say that the story im writing/drawing is becoming thicker not because im adding more lore (which is usually how it goes for me), but because im taking threads that have been here since the start and weaving in the ends in such a way that everything just got plumper, fuller, more compassionate, more painful, more honest, more genuine.

tbh these are just lonely madman ramblings that I’m making from my bathroom as I try to decide if im gonna get up and take my pain meds or go back to bed, but im very excited for when im finally able to get to my desk and start making pages again. the flow of inspiration from all directions has been non-stop, from learning new techniques to seeing new places and seeing cool art occasionally, and it’s been excruciating not being able to (for lack of a better word rn) capitalize on this increased flow of creative energy and ideas

and dammit I miss working on this fuckin thang! I wanna put these boys in some situations! Lmao

Okay that’s all for now hank u for listening ok love u bye :)

[arda-ancalima]

Fowl Language

Rating: G Characters: Kazuma Asogi, Gina Lestrade, Barok van Zieks Words: 1,293

For @tgaa-gen-week Day 7 - Free Day (just a little something silly to finish off the week!)

-

When the work day had come to an end at last, Kazuma tried to shake off his irritations. Van Zieks had been especially petty lately, at least it seemed to him, and his patience with the man was wearing thin.

Kazuma paid for the fish and chips and sat down next to Gina on a bench where she was winding her watch.

“Ta,” she mumbled, slipping the watch in her pocket and taking the cone he handed her.

Taking a bite of his piping hot chips, Kazuma watched her through the corner of his eye. She was idly munching on her food while watching people pass with a wistful look in her eye. It didn’t take a great detective to guess she was thinking about the watch’s previous owner.

“Lestrade,” Kazuma said, deciding to cheer her up. “I want you to help me with something.”

“Wot,” she said disinterestedly.

“I want to know how to swear in English.”

Gina glanced at him sidelong. “Come on. You must know. Ya learned English in that fancy university o’ yours, didn’t ya?”

“They don’t teach crude language in the classroom,” Kazuma said, crossing his arms.

“Sure, but weren’t you a sailor and all? You must’ve ‘eard ‘em all then.”

Technically deck hand, a much less impressive job, but he wasn’t about to correct her. “The crew communicated in English, but no one spoke it as their native language. I learned to swear in Russian, Chinese, and Dutch, but not English.”

“Then wot ‘bout while you’ve been livin’ ‘ere? Just go down t’ the pub or somethin’.”

Maybe if he had someone to go with, or had any energy left after a day of keeping up with his mentor’s unrelenting pace. “Look, I know a few words, but you have the most colorful language of anyone I know. I just want a handful of expressions I can use when Lord van Zieks is being a pain. Rattle him a little.”

“Oh. Oh, I get it. It’ll be a prank, then?” Gina got a little gleam in her eye. “I’ll help ya, ‘Sogi.”

Kazuma was pleased to see her perk up. “Great. So what’s a decent insult I could use?”

Humming, Gina considered a moment, then said something in his ear.

“Why are you whispering?” Kazuma said, drawing back.

“It’s impolite t’ say these in public, ya know,” Gina said. “There’s kiddies around.”

There weren’t any within earshot of their bench, but then again she understood British culture better than he did. “I guess so. But that doesn’t sound very rude.”

“Oi, you’re askin’ my advice. I’m the expert ‘ere.”

“Right, right.” Kazuma put up his hands. “How about an exclamation of surprise?”

“Surprise, eh? Ooh, I got one for ya!” She whispered something else to him.

“Hm. I suppose that does sound a bit off-color. Any others I should know?”

“One ya say when you’re proper angry. The worst o’ the lot.” Gina lowered her voice. “The F word.”

Kazuma was intrigued. “What is it?”

Gina glanced around, then pulled him close and whispered a word in his ear.

“Is it really that bad?” Kazuma pulled back with a raised eyebrow. “That sounds like two ordinary words.”

Nodding seriously, Gina said, “Oh yeah. That’ll scandalize ‘im for sure.”

“Good. Well, thanks. He’s going to be shocked when I throw these at him.”

“Oh, ‘e’ll be surprised, all right.”

“I can’t wait to see the look on his face.”

“Ha! I’d like to see that.” Gina went back to her food, munching with more vigor, and Kazuma was satisfied that he had accomplished his mission. At least the first part.

He didn’t have to wait long for the second part, as van Zieks was in a mood again the next day.

“Mr. Asogi, go pick up the autopsy report.”

“Yes, I’ll do that as soon as I’ve—”

“No, do it now.”

Every word of his since he arrived had felt short and prickly, and his instructions were more like demands. Kazuma had enough.

“Fine,” he said. Then just loud enough for van Zieks to hear, he added, “Son of a motherless goat.”

Van Zieks glanced up from his desk with a brief look of bafflement, but his ever present scowl slid back into place. “Why are you still standing there?”

Kazuma sighed and grabbed his coat. It wasn’t as satisfying a reaction as he hoped for, but it was a start.

On another occasion, they were at a crime scene where they learned of evidence that changed their entire understanding of the case.

Kazuma shook his head. “Gee willikers.”

Van Zieks narrowed his eyes as he took in the scene. “That’s certainly one way of putting it.”

Kazuma was a bit surprised van Zieks didn’t chide him for his rude language. It seemed like the sort of thing he would take issue with in his apprentice. But maybe he was so distracted by rethinking the case that he didn’t fully take in what Kazuma said.

Another day, Kazuma had spent hours working out an approach to their prosecution, writing a lengthy report explaining it and double checking his work. When he finished, he explained his theory to van Zieks, going point by point through his argument. Van Zieks listened without interruption, sitting back in his chair with his face as impassive as usual.

“Mr. Asogi,” he said at last. “The argument you have laid out is impressive, and you’ve improved in your presentation.”

Kazuma would have been pleased by the praise, had he not been able to hear the “but” coming from a mile away. He sighed. “What is it?”

“I wonder if you’ve forgotten the first witness we spoke to.”

It was like a bucket of cold water had been dumped over his head. He had completely forgotten. It dismantled his entire case, and he would have to start over from the beginning.

He was so upset with himself that without thinking he swore terribly.

“Fiddlesticks.”

Van Zieks’ eyes were on him immediately and Kazuma realized what he said. He had been hoping to save that one for when van Zieks really deserved it, and this had been Kazuma’s fault entirely. He would just have to make the most of it.

But van Zieks’ expression changed from neutrality to mirth, and to Kazuma’s great astonishment, he laughed.

It was brief and quickly hidden behind the grim set of his mouth, but Kazuma knew he didn’t imagine it.

Once he had recovered from the shock, he remembered what had made him laugh in the first place and grew indignant.

“W-What’s so funny about all this? I spent all day on that report!”

“It’s not that, it’s—” Van Zieks’ lip quirked upward again. “Where did you learn that word?”

Trying to reign in his embarrassment, Kazuma said, “Wh— does that matter? It’s an expletive, everyone knows that. I might have picked it up in a pub or something.”

Van Zieks shook his head. “Someone has been pulling your chain. I had wondered where the sudden use of innocent exclamations came from.”

“Innocent?!” Kazuma tightened his fists. “You mean fiddlesticks isn’t a dirty word?!”

“I can’t say I know the meaning, but it is regarded as harmless.”

“You teach me something, then. Tell me the worst word you know!”

“No. Now I believe, Mr. Asogi, that you have a great deal of work to catch up on. You better get started.”

“Argh…” I have a certain Inspector I need to pay a visit.

When Kazuma stormed up to Gina’s desk at Scotland Yard, she took one look at his furious face and lit up in glee.

“Did you say ‘em?”

“Darn you, Gina Lestrade,” Kazuma growled, slamming her desk. “Darn you to hell!”

She laughed her face off.

-

Bonus incorrect quote:

Kazuma: Oh, spare me the sanctimonious lecture. You never cared about me. In the words of one of my actual friends: ya basic. It's a cockney insult. It's devastating. You're devastated right now.

Van Zieks: …?

[zxmickeyzx]

Mumbattan Cafe Ch. 1

Barista! Pavitr x Artist! Miles

Miles came into the cafe for some chai tea, to see his friend Gwen on her shift and make some art while relaxing in the cafe. Instead he got some Barista who looked very annoyed when he tried to order and then became very passionate about ranting to him about how people say chai tea instead of just saying chai. Miles didn't mind him lecturing him on it though.

At least it was from someone so cute.

Masterlist ~ Next

Today was an opposite day for Miles. For once he woke up pretty early, early enough to put on some nicer clothes than usual, wearing a simple pair of army green cargo pants with a red sweatshirt and his usual headphones around his neck. He usually wore sweatpants, some kinda t-shirt that could get messy and a bomber jacket since it was easier to wear when rushing out of his apartment for classes and no one really cared what you wore in college. Especially in art classes.

Since he got up pretty early this time around he decided to do some light cleaning in his room and around the house. Ganke was thankfully a heavy sleeper so Miles could be as loud as he wanted in the mornings or late at night. Miles still wonders how he was acing all his classes.

As soon as he was done cleaning up his space for a bit, he decided to see if his friend Gwen wanted to hangout. He liked the energy that would bounce off each other while doing their craft. The amount of inspiration they both got was something to behold. They were good friends from the academy as well as being in most of each other's classes so it was bound to happen. At some point he used to have a crush on her, but they never pursued anything and realized they were better off as friends.

As Miles was waiting for a response from Gwen, he started thinking about what he should eat. He could whip up something, but with the way his mother raised him, he might get full cooking while tasting the food to make sure he gets it right and he didn't want to deal with the dishes afterwards. Maybe he could make a quick sandwich. Yeah that sounded pretty good at the moment.

Before that sandwich idea really took off his phone vibrated in his hand. It was his friend Margo asking him if he had done the assignment Mr.O’hara posted on class site. He did the assignment as soon as he could because he usually felt like Mr. O’hara usually had it out for him. He quickly responded to Margo telling her yes, and sent his version of the instructions to the assignments since his teacher liked to over complicate things in his wording and instructions. She texted him a quick thanks and asked what his plans are for today, to which he responds he is waiting for Gwen to text him back about hanging out.

“Morning”

Miles looked up to see Ganke half-awake, going to the fridge to rummage through it. His friend settled on some cereal by the time his phone vibrated again.

Turns out Gwen is working at her Job currently since someone called out sick according to Margo. The cafe Gwen worked at was a small but decently popular place. He could see her and grab a quick bite to eat. He loved the vibes of the cafe, it felt homey. Maybe even stay and draw some art.

Miles ponders on the thought a bit more, until his thoughts are interrupted.

“Miles!”

He whipped his face to look at Ganke, who sighs.

“Dude, you okay? I’ve been trying to get your attention for a bit.”

“Yeah man, just thinkin about somethin real quick. Need something?”

“Just wanted to ask you if you finished the work Mr. O’ hara assigned.”.

“Yeah man, I just sent margo the simplified instructions, Ill send it to you real quick”

“Thanks man. Appreciate it”. He goes back to eating. Miles just shakes his head, knowing Ganke wont start until the real last minute.

Miles wishes he could relax and then do work without having to rush. But they way his mother and father raised him to do work early and relax as a reward which worked pretty well for him but also gave him an unofficial teacher assistant role for all of his friends.

Ultimately he decided to head out, so he grabbed his art bag with his wallet and keys. Then quickly said goodbye to Ganke and went out. The moment Miles stepped outside he took a deep breath to enjoy the autumn air. He was more of a summer guy but he appreciated this season due to representation of new beginnings. Plus being back in school is always something he looked forward to.

The cafe was about a 30 minute walk, not bad. He puts on his headphones and just enjoys the moment.

He waved to some people he saw almost everyday by his place while walking.

After a bit he arrived at the cafe. It was a decent size cafe, with cute outdoor seating and indoor decorations. It went for the simplistic aesthetic which Miles could appreciate.

Once inside the cafe, it gave off a warm-home vibe, welcoming you inside. The cafe was a bit empty, he guesses he beat the morning rush.

Miles tried to look for a certain blonde with pink tints in her hair, but could only see a cashier and the barista at the moment that didn't fit that description. The line wasn't that long, so Miles decided to hop to the back of it to wait for his turn.

He might as well grab something to drink and eat while he is here even if he could find Gwen.

Maybe she was on break.

He tried looking at the menu trying to figure out what he should order. Maybe a bagel with cream cheese and strawberry jelly.

Yeah that sounded nice right now, but what to drink. He then hears the person in front of him mention to someone on the phone that the cafe had the best chai teas.

Chai tea huh? That didn't sound too bad to have at the moment. Perfect drink to relax with on a day like today.

While waiting for his turn he decided to text Ganke and ask if he wanted anything from the cafe at all. To which his roommate quickly respond “Im good”.

After about 15 minutes of waiting, it was finally his turn to order.

“Hello Sir, Welcome to Mumbatton Cafe! How may I take your order?”

Shit.

The cashier was cute.

He had beautiful, lush black hair with waves like the ocean. Warm brown skin that gave off a golden hue and deep chocolate brown eyes. Miles could almost stare into them forever with how mesmerizing they were.

He almost did until the cashier spoke again.

“Sir? Have you decided yet?”

Oh yeah he was here to eat not to stare and be known as a weirdo.

Miles cleared his throat before speaking.

“Sorry about that, uh, can I have a bagel with cream cheese and strawberry jelly?”

The cashier nodded with a smile while putting his order into the system.

'He has a nice smile' Miles thought to himself.

“Alright, and anything you’d like to think with that?” The cashier asks while looking down at screen of his order.

“Oh yeah, I heard the chai tea here is good, so I’d like to try some.”

There was suddenly a silent pause. Like the air just shifted. The Cashier's face turned annoyed, almost angry-like.

In a lowered voice Miles heard.

“What did you just say?” The cashier's eyes widened as he slowly looked up at Miles.

Miles was confused with the sudden change of mood. He didn't think he said anything wrong. He only said the name of a drink. Maybe he misunderstood what Miles had said.

“Um, chai tea?” He repeated slowly so he could be understood this time.

If looks could kill, Miles thinks he would be ten feet under.

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