#but it’s a mutually beneficial relationship and like they’re chill with each other | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

taechaos · 4 years ago

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from Textbook Love drabbles

pairing: bully!Jungkook x nerdy!fem!Reader

genre: drabble(?), smut, college au

synopsis: “She’s too sweet,” Taehyung begins, “too kind, too nice, everything you’re not. You wouldn’t be trying to keep me away from her if you didn’t know that. Are you afraid she’ll like me better?”

warnings: slight angst, arguing, dubcon, mild violence

word count: 4.7k

a/n: ima need yall to submit jk gifs cuz it is taking me TOO long to find a good one 👺 not proofread.

The weekend is fun: students’ two days of temporary rest and catching up on their assignments. Jungkook doesn’t concern himself with the latter, but he does enjoy waking up later in the day and lying down on the grass with his arms crossed under his head, bathing in the sun without any worries. It’s peaceful, thinking thoughts of you with dimmed eyes while the breeze gently wafts past him.

But of course, Taehyung wouldn’t let him just enjoy his day without a hint of irritation. Good things never last anyway. He’s sitting in the middle of the field, a hot spot for relaxation, and feels the soil under his palms while observing his surroundings. Yoongi is with them, munching on a few snacks while scrolling through his phone as it quietly plays music.

“The girl at the party,” Taehyung begins before glancing at Jungkook through his sunglasses, “she was alone when I came back. You weren’t around either; did you cum too soon or something? I saw you two kiss.”

“I left,” Jungkook mumbles without opening his eyes.

“Why?”

“I was bored.”

“And where did you go?” he pries.

“None of your business.”

Taehyung scoffs at his dismissal before averting his gaze elsewhere. “I do have a guess.”

“Don’t start,” Yoongi warns him without looking up. The two best friends usually get into arguments in a matter of seconds daily, and Yoongi just wants to spend his day without having to break up a fight. Just this once, he hopes… but hope doesn’t save him.

“I’m just wondering if you actually went all the way back to campus to fuck another girl, who coincidentally also does your homework.” His tone is cool and collected, but it borders on mocking that usually goes unnoticed. He’s been around these two too long for them to miss, however. Yoongi sighs, dreading the response already.

Jungkook sits up on his elbows with a glare directed towards Taehyung. “How’s your ex holding up, Tae? You think she cheated on another guy yet?”

Neither of the two friends have a filter around them, no consideration for their words as they apathetically insult one another; but Jungkook can go too far, especially by bringing up old wounds.

Taehyung was in a toxic relationship with his first girlfriend of two years, which took a huge toll on his mindset. Constant infidelity, endless forgiving, make up sex and catching her with another man after: a cycle that went on for over 24 months. The concept of love became tainted in his eyes, no longer interacting with the opposite gender if not to get laid, and Jungkook’s commensalistic - rather parasitic - relationship doesn’t disprove his hateful ideology. Love only consists of two people: a host who provides, and the parasite that selfishly takes it all.

But he isn’t over the pain that lasted a year after the break up, which was shamelessly executed by the parasite: his former girlfriend. It took a lot of trust to open up about it to his friends, and it lifted a heavy weight off of his chest. Only this year did he stop thinking about her, until Jungkook asked about her so casually. It stings his heart only for a second, and he scoffs as Yoongi intervenes, “Both of you need to shut the fuck up.”

“If you guys want to talk about my relationships, then don’t get all whiny when I talk about yours.”

Taehyung swallows his pride and confidently answers, “I don’t know, Jungkook. I hear she’s doing well, but no information on her boyfriends. Your turn: what’s going on with that nerd?”

“Elaborate.”

“Are you two dating?” Yoongi asks exhaustedly. They just keep taking every opportunity to annoy each other, and it’s even overwhelming him at this point.

Rolling his neck side to side in thought, Jungkook takes a moment to answer, “No.”

“Bullshit,” Taehyung spits. “You know what? Let’s just move on. I’m sure I could get proper answers from someone else.”

“If you have a death wish, that is,” he warns with a slight seethe before lying back down.

He doesn’t respond and hides a smirk, a couple having a romantic picnic ahead of him from a distance. He watches them for a few seconds before muttering to himself, “It’s not going to be my death.”

Yoongi and Jungkook chill on their own after Taehyung leaves. He’s roaming the campus in hopes of finding that one girl who is always wearing some school skirt and working 24/7 to find out what is so special about her. Jungkook might think he doesn’t notice them interacting, but behind that airhead facade, he’s observant. It’s not that big of a fucking secret either, they’re not deliberately hiding their strangely beneficial friendship or whatever. You stick out like a sore thumb in the yard, though there’s not many people to tell you apart from anyway.

He approaches you rather slowly, inspecting your figure first before meeting you. Your posture is straight and composed, fingers quickly typing away on your keyboard without even looking at them. You look so serious to him, a contrast to the radiant butterflies flying past you in such a bright environment. He wonders if you ever procrastinate or take breaks, and most importantly, how someone that appears so smart has fallen into such an obvious trap set by his best friend of all people.

His hands are in his pockets as he speaks his first words to you. “Hi, I’m Taehyung.”

Your reaction is instant: a quick look at him and you’re already frowning. “I’m Jungkook’s best friend,” he adds in case you’ve seen him around before.

“I don’t know you.” And with that distant reply, you return to your essay. If meeting Jimin has taught you anything, it’s that you can’t trust anyone who claims to know your lover. They are just using it against you…

“Well, shit,” he laughs, “I didn’t realize you were so cold.” Your eyes don’t waver from your screen, so he tries another approach: “Are you the girl Jungkook left the party a few days back for?”

Your ears perk up in his direction, but you don’t show it. But he notices the pause in your taps before you continue typing, and he holds that against you. He takes a seat across from you, and your laptop covers your face from him. “I just wanted to meet the person that’s got him whipped enough to get high and run off to them.” You bite down on a smile and prolong your silence. “I guess I’ll talk to you when you’re not busy.”

He stands up just as you tell him, “Wait, no, I’m not busy.” You close your laptop mid-way before hesitating, but slam it shut nonetheless. “Sorry.”

“You’re good.” He sits back down and clasps his hands on the table. “So what’s going on between you and him? He refuses to tell me, as if you’re his little secret.”

You shyly look down at your flats and twiddle your fingers on your lap. “We’re together… but he is very mysterious.”

It’s a good thing you don’t glance at him to hide your blush, because he’s a little skeptical. He puckers his lips and furrows his brows but controls his expression when you look up. He mentally curses for taking longer than a few seconds to respond; it’s suspicious. “I know right? I don’t know why he’s so reluctant to talk about you. You’re a total sweetheart.”

Approval from Jungkook’s friend: check. Will he like you more if you get along with his friends? The thought excites you, because at least this is someone he likes, unlike Jimin. “Thank you,” you shy a smile. “Um…”

You’re awkward: not Jungkook’s type, Taehyung notes. You’re obviously the host... “So is this a fling, or are you two serious?”

“We’re serious!” you immediately answer. “I love him, and he recently told me he loves me too. He used to kiss me for doing his homework, but now he does it out of nowhere.”

Wow… romantic. He suppresses a chuckle because he doesn’t want to laugh in your face, not when you’re so cute when you talk about him. Your eyes light up with a gleam, a lovesick smile gracing your face and now desperate to befriend him. You look like him when he was supposedly in love. You’re serious about Jungkook, but for how long? Especially when the other side of the relationship is not so committed. It should be mutual: with two hosts.

“Yeah?” he acts interested and raises his sunglasses up to his hair. “How does he act around you?”

“Well,” you start gushing, “he is a little closed off with his emotions.” True. “He doesn’t like me talking to other guys.” Ooh, interesting. “He can’t stand being ignored,” you chuckle. Can he now? “And… he is so cute when he’s jealous. He has this glare whenever I don’t give him enough attention, but he would never admit it. He likes being intimate with me, likes it when I reassure him. He never says it out loud though, I can just tell by looking at him. I’ve never felt this way for anyone, never fell in love with someone until I met Jungkook. I just want to make him happy because he used to look so sad when I watched him from afar.” A hopeless romantic.

Maybe if you didn’t sound so genuine and innocent, he would’ve made fun of you. But he just feels pity for someone who is so giving to someone who gives back so little. You don’t deserve it; don’t deserve to stay up working on so many assignments; don’t deserve to not have any hobbies; don’t deserve to be so unloved. You are pathetic, but it doesn’t turn him off.

Taehyung is a host too.

He clears his throat at the unexpected stirring emotions in his heart, “What do you love about him? Do you like being treated like shit or something?”

“He doesn’t treat me badly! He is like a light switch, you know? He doesn’t know how to act, sometimes sweet and sometimes… a little mean. I love him for his pure heart, and I believe that we are similar in a lot of ways.”

Taehyung can’t contain his snort. Similar? You are opposites. You are similar to him, not Jungkook. He feels… jealous. The pairing is just so ridiculous and flawed, but you’re neither of the two; you are just good. Taehyung can be good too. “So, what’s your Instagram user?”

The lack of commentary and escalation of the topic catches you off guard. It’s a distraction. “I don’t have an account,” you reply in confusion.

“Wow, I’d expect you to cyberstalk Jungkook on there,” he jokes with a laugh.

“He has an Instagram?”

He purses his lips, his grin faltering as he nods. He takes out his phone from his pocket to show you the account, and holds it in your face. Your lips part as you gently take it from him, curiously inspecting the collage of images.

“He plays the guitar?” you ask in awe. You click on each picture to zoom in on them, and your heart jumps upon seeing his selfies while Taehyung hums. He is gorgeous in your eyes, and you want to keep up with his posts in hopes of seeing another selfie. These are hidden gems that Taehyung had the courtesy of providing to you.

“He’s learning,” Taehyung says, “you should sign up and post some pictures as well. You’re really cute.” His cheeky compliment makes you happy; he is basically giving you his blessing!

“Thank you, and you’re right,” you chirp, “I will make an account after I finish this essay. Want to take a picture with me?”

It’s safe to assume that Jungkook wouldn’t mind you talking to his best friend, so why not expand your social circle? You’ll be more involved with his life this way. Taehyung stammers slightly before agreeing. He switches benches to sit next to you while you rummage through your backpack to find your phone. He finds it strangely endearing how you hold it, using your index finger to swipe between apps to find the camera. It almost stings his heart that you’re so old-schooled in a cute way. Once you angle it above you with your arm stretched out to your left, Taehyung appears to be behind you as he lowers his glasses. You smile brightly into the lens while he cutely puckers his lips.

Click.

“Are you wearing perfume?” he asks before he can stop himself. Your scent tickles his nostrils sweetly, and he doesn’t know why he’s noticing so much about you or holding a conversation with a woman without being naked. It’s been a hot minute since Taehyung’s had such a platonic interaction, and it shouldn’t feel this nice. He shouldn’t want to continue it through social media either.

“Yes! Do you smell strawberries? I noticed Jungkook eating them before, so I use just about anything strawberry scented. Lotion, shampoo, shower gel…”

He tunes you out as you gush and focuses on the smooth movement of your lips. You’re too good, and Taehyung knows he isn’t the best person but at least he’s not as bad as Jungkook. I shouldn’t think like this… but am I wrong? He will break your heart. What if it’s the right time to intervene to save you from that misery, and be a friend to both of you? He doesn’t want you to fall apart and be completely crushed right in front of his eyes, not when he just witnessed how childishly happy and naive you are. It wouldn’t be fair to you, nor to the life lesson he was taught years ago.

And he then notices that you're wearing strawberry lip balm.

“Jungkook kis-” -sed someone else before coming to you. You hum and tilt your head at his interruption, waiting for him to finish his sentence. “Jungkook… does love strawberries.”

Though your work ethics are questionable for how exhausting they are, it gets the job done sooner. The moment you’re assigned a task, you do it, regardless of if it’s yours or Jungkook's. Saturday evening and Sunday are free for you, so you spend your time outside after leaving your backpack in your dorm. You think you look silly, taking pictures of anything you find interesting to post on Instagram. You made an account, but it appears like a bot with its empty feed. Jungkook enjoys doing this, so you want to try it as well.

You don’t stray far from campus because you’d easily get lost, and your gallery looks boring to you. The only decent photo you have is with Taehyung, but you want to post a picture with Jungkook before anyone else. You grumble under your breath while walking back to the dormitory building. You look through Jungkook’s posts again as you do so with a smile.

A heavy arm slings over your shoulder and hitches your breath just as the culprit says, “What’s the rush?” He doesn’t even look at you, and you wonder if he recognized you from your clothes after coming up from behind you.

“Jungkookie!” you cheer excitedly. He glances at you and quirks a brow at the nickname. His eyes then trail to your lit up phone and snatches it from you, which you don’t fight against.

“You’re stalking me?” He scrolls through his profile from your phone and smirks before stating, “I didn’t know you had an Insta.” The both of you enter the building with his arm still wrapped around you, which flutters your heart.

“I made one today, since you use it.” He exits his profile to look at yours. You’re in the elevator as you inform, “Taehyung told me.”

A pause, then a click. Jungkook snapped a photo of you when you pressed the button of your floor. “Pretty,” he comments while looking at your candid shot. You’re flattered and also happy that he’s joining your trip to your dorm. He hasn’t said a word of protest and takes the lead in going to your room. “What else?”

“Hm?”

“What else did he tell you?”

You rack your brain to remember anything significant to tell him. It was a long conversation: getting to know each other and more about Jungkook. “He told me you have an Instagram, then asked for my perfume, and then we talked about your love for strawberries-”

“Your perfume? Why was Instagram even brought up?” he presses, stopping in front of your door.

You take out your keycard and shrug while swiping, “He asked for mine.”

The dorm is empty when you enter and sit on the edge of your bed. It’s very hard to not grin when you’re around Jungkook, but he doesn’t seem to care as he looks through your gallery. “Can we take a picture together?” you peep hopefully.

“Of course,” he murmurs absentmindedly, intently staring at your phone. “We’ll take many pictures,” he looks up at you before leveling with the camera, “pose.”

You aren’t very educated on the art of posing per se, so you imitate the peace sign you saw him do with a wide smile and a hand on the bed. He is neutral when he snaps a picture with a shutter.

“I want you to be in it.”

He drags his eyes away from the screen and his blank expression intimidates you. “Whose idea was it for you to make an account?”

“Um… Taehyung, why?” You lay your hands on your lap at the growing tension.

Taehyung went to this extent to get a reaction out of him? Is it possible that he’s this obnoxious? Or perhaps another motive…?

“I-Is he not your friend?”

Jungkook breaks his silence of thoughts with a scoff, “Oh, only the best.” You sigh in relief, though he says it with menace. Taehyung was curious about his relationship, not about your social media. He forcefully pushes you down on the bed and you hold back a gasp as he wraps his finger around your neck in a light chokehold with a thumb on your nether lip. Click. He then lowers his hand to your thigh, hiding half of it under your skirt with a gentle grap. Click.

Your cheeks flush at the compromising photos he’s taking and you nervously ask, “A-Am I going to post these?”

“Shut up.”

You seal your lips shut and he flips you on your stomach, palming your covered ass with your side profile in the frame, and another shutter resounds in the room. “Sit up.” You follow his command and turn around to face him. He pushes your hair to your back and his mouth latches onto your neck. He’s biting you while sucking on your flesh, and you release a breathy moan at the feeling of his tongue swirling on the sensitive skin. It hurts, but you don’t complain and try to make sense of the growing arousal in your lower region. He only pulls away after half a minute and you’re confused by the satisfied smirk on his face while eyeing the result. He angles your jaw to expose your neck better and snaps another photo. “These are all going on your account.”

At your nod of submission, he starts unbuttoning your shirt. “You’re prettier with a mark. My mark.” Your body tingles at the compliment and you help him undress yourself by unbuttoning the ends. “Take off your skirt,” he demands as he slips off his shirt with ease. All of your clothes go off one by one as he does the same, and you don’t have the time to feel shy as his lips collide so roughly with yours that you’re pressed down against the mattress again. You still haven’t gotten the hang of making out, but it doesn’t matter with Jungkook because although it flows naturally, he also takes complete control over you. He’s not gentle, not with the way his teeth clash against yours and tongue leaving trails of saliva all over your mouth. Your toes curl with desire and anticipation, and you tug at his briefs that outline his erection. The feeling of his warm breath on you silences all your thoughts and you can only react on primal instincts.

His crotch brushes against your bare folds, slick with your leaking wetness. Kissing him this passionately always leaves you feeling needy, and it embarrasses you that you get turned on so easily. But you don’t realize that is his intention as he glides his fingers all over your labia, making sure you’re ready to take all of him.

Kissing you this passionately always leaves him feeling horny, and it’s apparent with his cock begging to be taken out of the restraints of his underwear. You don’t know how long you’ve been kissing, but your lips are numb when he pulls away to position himself in your entrance. He doesn’t prepare you, but he doesn’t rush himself either as he painfully slowly enters you. You hold your breath and gawn on your swollen lip, moans catching in your throat and leaving as high-pitched hums. He sighs at the feeling of your pulsating walls. “God… always so tight. Don’t you ever touch yourself?”

He bottoms out and you whimper shakily at how full you are. The fact that he fits you like a puzzle piece convinces you that he’s your forever, your meant to be. Even with your lack of experience with other men, you believe no one can make you feel this dreamy. And to think he’s all yours now… “I-I don’t. I only want to do it with you.”

The atmosphere is so fragile, so romantic. It’s not your delusion this time, because he feels it too and it makes his heartbeat sync with yours: unsteady and rapid. And in the heat of the moment, he reveals, “I think I’m in love with you.”

A whine leaves you, so loud that it can’t be achieved with touch but with his words. It’s the utmost pleasure, and when he realizes what he said, he sets a rushed pace to distract himself from the embarrassment of pouring his feelings. You don’t allow him to forget as you echo, “I’m in love with you too.”

“No, no,” he denies with a shake of his head and it emits more love confessions out of you in a chain of ‘I love you’s, and he grunts, “Stop. Shut up!” He pins your forearms on either side of your head in a bruisening grip and thrusts into you harder. You have no choice but to scream in pleasure, unable to form coherent words when he’s practically fucking your brains out.

His feelings of humiliation translate to his actions: he pushes himself down to the hilt, throbbing with lust but doesn’t chase his high. He doesn’t want you to talk, not when he’s blushing for more than one reason, so he ignores the contraction of his muscles and just fucks you until he can’t anymore, hypnotized by the bounce of your tits.

Maybe it’s a good thing that he’s so desperate, hitting your most sensitive spot with every thrust and making your eyes screw back. Neither of you can think, so loud and reckless until you reach your climax. It’s core shaking, as you cry out his name and tremble with stimulation. He’s never seen this expression on your face, one so twisted in pleasure and looking so erotic. It comes as a surprise and in the form of a punch in the gut as he savours your appearance before cumming inside you with a groan. A slip-up, a mistake, but he doesn’t care as he paints your walls in white, his load filling you up.

And he can’t regret it when he pulls out, because the drizzle of his cum spilling out of your pussy easily becomes his favorite sight. “Shit,” he whispers as more and more drips while you twitch and spasm from your orgasm. You don’t even realize what he’s done, and that makes his chest swell with pride; the most level-headed woman he knows is leaking with his release and stupidly doesn’t spare it a thought. And with that hickey on your neck? “You look fucking gorgeous,” he exhales. A bashful smile stretches across your face with eyes still tightly shut, and you don’t notice him grab your phone on the other side of the bed to take a picture of your stained pussy.

“This one is for me,” he mutters to himself. Click.

After posting the softcore photos on your account and tagging himself in them, as well as a note of a pharmacy’s address across campus with a label written for you to get two separate contraceptives as an emergency and for your next creampie, he leaves your dorm. You fell asleep on him, and though he had wanted to join you, he decided to collect his scrambled thoughts and go to Taehyung’s dorm first. He isn’t livid, but he has a few questions to ask.

He’s playing cards with Yoongi, Taehyung’s roommate, as he patiently waits for his arrival. “What’s wrong about asking for her Instagram, though?” Yoongi asks before drawing out a card of ace. “Isn’t she our friend by association anyway?”

“It’s suspicious,” Jungkook murmurs while inspecting his deck. “Have you ever seen Taehyung with a girl before? As friends? He’s clearly trying to fuck her.”

Yoongi stifles a laugh, “That’s a reach. Besides, you two have shared a girl before. Are you actually dating her?”

Shuffling is heard behind the door until it swings open as Taehyung enters. “Kookie! What are you doing here?” He throws his keycard on his bed before hopping on Yoongi’s to watch their game.

It’s strained, Jungkook notices. His excitement is forced; why? “I came here for you,” he states bluntly. “A little birdie told me you’ve been talking to someone who belongs to me.”

“I didn’t realize she was your diary,” he tries to lighten the mood with a joke. “What’s the deal anyway? You said you weren’t dating her.”

Yoongi collects the deck of cards after Jungkook drops them, and shuffles them while eavesdropping. He’s sitting cross-legged across from Jungkook, and Taehyung is sitting on the edge of the bed next to him with his body turned sideways.

“I also said that unless you have a death wish, don’t talk to her,” he grits. “And asking for her social media? Are you into her now?”

Taehyung merely shrugs. “I thought she was pretty chill. I don’t know why you’re so mad.”

“She obviously means something to him, so I think you should just respect that, Taehyung,” Yoongi voices his thoughts while leafing the cards. Jungkook looks to the side and pokes the inner cheek of his mouth with his tongue but doesn’t argue.

“I think he’s just using her.” Jungkook’s reaction is instant as Taehyung’s nose instantly starts to bleed from the impact of his fist. Yoongi doesn’t look up. He holds a hand over his injury with a hiss and continues, “Really, Kook? A little too much, don’t you think?”

“Less than enough,” Jungkook fumes, “I like her, and she likes me. Just fucking leave it at that.”

“Couple of the year,” Taehyung chuckles mockingly, “I give it two days.” He stands up before Jungkook can hit him again. “Can’t wait to console her after your break-up, maybe she’ll fall in love with me next.”

Jungkook starts chasing him around the room as Taehyung runs without stopping his provocation. “Why so upset Jungkook? Do you see it happening too? I’m already imagining how tight-”

“You should leave, Jungkook.” Neither of them listen to Yoongi, so he yells, “Jungkook, leave!”

A moment of deafening silence passes as both of them pause to catch their breaths. “She’s too sweet,” Taehyung begins, “too kind, too nice, everything you’re not. You wouldn’t be trying to keep me away from her if you didn’t know that. Are you afraid she’ll like me better?”

“Go fuck yourself,” Jungkook spits with a heaving chest. “She’s loyal to me, but I’m sure you’re not familiar with that concept. No wonder your relationships only last one night.” With a final glare, he leaves as told to return to you. The only thing he needs right now is one more ‘I love you’ from you, as much as he hates it. Maybe he’s cruel, but he doesn’t know anyone who isn’t aside from you.

Maybe Taehyung is just as cruel, fantasizing about all the ways he could be better for you before drifting off to sleep with a bandage over his wounded nose. He can just be a friend to both of you… he can be good too…

#bts imagines #bts scenarios #bts x reader #bts smut #jeon jungkook #jungkook imagines #jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #jjk smut #bts fic #kpop #jungkook fic #jeon jungoook smut

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sharkneto · 3 years ago

Note

👀

This is going to be a longer snip but it's a fun one. A For Fun scene that is in no way canon to Holding It Together, just a bit of fun musing because, well, obvious reasons:

“Have I come at a bad time?” the woman asks with mock sincerity. She glances between the Walters and Five before smiling. “Good.”

“You’re quite the cockroach,” Five says, stiff smile on his face. “People just don’t stay dead like they used to, do they?”

“Takes a cockroach to know one, doesn’t it,” the woman says easily, slinging Five’s insult back at him. His shoulders tense. “And you’re one to talk about not staying dead. You play pretty hard and fast with that little universal law, don’t you? Just how many times have you failed to keep your little family alive?”

Rob shuffles closer to Sarah and wills the rest of the Hargreeves to catch up with them. He doesn’t know who this woman is, but there is an obvious familiarity between her and Five. Experience says that means she’s with the Commission, and that makes her bad news. The tension in the room between them is palpable, something he could cut with a knife.

The woman daintily sets her briefcase down at the corner of the hallway and takes a few steps further into the room, high heels sinking into the carpet and her gaze never wavering from Five. With a careful motion, she pulls the netted veil from her face, tucking it back into her silver-blonde curls.

Five sidesteps to partially meet her, keeping himself between her and the Walters. Sarah fumbles to find Rob’s hand. The woman’s gaze flicks to take in the movement.

“What do you want?” Five demands.

“Come, now, Five, where are your manners? You’re not even going to introduce me to your friends?”

Five’s tight smile only grows.

“Well,” the woman sighs, obviously disappointed in Five. She turns her attention to Rob and Sarah. A chill runs down Rob’s spine as their eyes meet. “I am, well. I was Number Five’s handler. We know each other very well, don’t we Mr. Five?” She turns that sickly sweet smile back to Five. He tilts his head, neither confirming nor denying. Her focus flicks back to Rob and Sarah. “And you are?”

It takes Rob a second to realize no actual name is coming. He glances at Sarah before opening his mouth to answer.

“They’re not relevant,” Five interrupts, forcing the Handler’s attention back to him. “Why are you here?”

“Why, Five, I thought that was obvious. I’m here to make a deal.”

“I’m not interested in making any deals with the Commission.”

“Ah, but I’m not with the Commission.”

Five narrows his eyes. She simply smiles back and holds out her hands in a ta-da! “I’ll cut to the chase, you always like that,” the Handler says, hands dropping. “You and I make a good team, and I think I have something that would be mutually beneficial.”

“No, no we don’t,” Five says with a sharp shake of his head. “Whatever you have to offer, you can shove right up your ass.”

“Five,” the Handler coos, taking another step closer. Five holds his ground, tucking his hands into his pockets. “You haven’t even heard what my deal is yet. Do you know the trouble I had to go through to track you down, and now you don’t even want to hear what I have to say?” She holds a hand to her chest in mock hurt, a pout twisting her blood-red lips.

Rob keeps glancing between the two, trying to figure out their relationship, who they are to each other. Five has been familiar with the few other Commission agents they’ve come across in the short time he’s been with them, but this is a whole other level. There’s a levity to how the Handler is playing with Five, a teasing that hints at a genuine deeper connection.

He’s not sure that’s a good thing.

“That is a good point,” Five concedes. “How did you find me?”

“You forget, Five, I know you. I will say, it was a little bit of a puzzle to figure out where you dragged your family after that botched 2019 timeline you were in before. But! Then I remembered that little joy ride you went on just before the Dallas Job and you stabbed me in the back and betrayed everything. I let it pass, then, figured after four years of exemplary service I could let a little side trip slide, let you visit whatever little moment you wanted to see. That mistake is on me, I’ll admit to that one. Creating your own little diversion, that was clever, Five. A backup timeline almost identical to your own, a safe alternate that isn’t different enough to be flagged but is different enough to allow you and your family to easily slip in without any immediate paradoxes. Why, when I thought to check here—”

She’s cut off by a soft whumpf! at the entryway. “I don’t know if you guys realized but you left your garage…” Number trails off as he takes in the scene, gaze flicking between Rob and Sarah, Five, and the Handler as he freezes, unsure of what he just walked in on. Five closes his eyes with a grimace at his alternate self’s poor timing.

The Handler’s face curves into a delighted grin. “Oh, Five,” she purrs.

Number frowns and glances to Five for guidance. The Handler steps past Five to better study him, long skirt swooshing. She walks a slow circle around Number, taking him in from every angle. Number turns his head to keep her in his sight, eyebrows furrowed in obvious confusion.

As she makes it back around, the Handler stops and spins back to Five. Five has turned to continue facing her, his expression guarded but obviously uncomfortable. “Five,” she says again, voice full of condescending humor. “That’s what your little side trip was? You really thought all it would take was you to divert the entire apocalypse?” Five shifts slightly but holds her gaze. Her Cheshire cat grin grows and she slowly strides back to Five, each step an emphasis to her words. “That’s rather narcissistic, even… for… you.” By you, she is directly in Five’s space, too close to him, and she reaches out with one, perfectly manicured finger to lightly tap him on the nose.

And Five lets her.

The anxiety that had been pooling in Rob’s gut tightens. Five is careful with touch. He has careful boundaries that he maintains, deliberately decides what brushes and hugs from his siblings he will allow, and nothing passes his defenses without a moment of hesitation to catalog it, categorize the touch as friendly or threat.

Five doesn’t react to the tap, he just stands stiffly as the woman’s finger brushes the end of his nose, doesn’t even blink at it.

It sets off a lot of very loud alarms in Rob’s mind.

#snips #tua #the handler #alternate scene #holding it together #the handler is just so fucking fun to write #it's tragic that i believe so strongly that she should have died in s1 so i never really play with her #but! that's what random snips are for!

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fruitytrollroll · 4 years ago

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In you fanfic The part where it says " The three of them had always occupied a liminal space in their relationships with each other, in a constant state of metamorphosis" I wasn't sure what it meant exactly and now that I listened to your Spotify playlist I'm even more unsure Please help my poor confused brain

of course my little tadpole!! and thank you for reading! ;) i’ll do my best to explain what i was getting at with that!

basically, mod frogs dont have “friends”. at best they have alliances of convenience and mutually beneficial arrangements, and at worst, bitter rivals with whom they compete for benefits/accolades/promotions. their entire culture seems to revolve around white collar business practices, which must have given them a lot of baggage about how they navigate relationships, and which i’ve decided to take to its logical extremes.

we clearly see that jamack doesn’t understand how to receive kipo’s gestures of friendship and kindness. “who keeps promises?” “on the surface you have to be selfish”, etc. he also insists that he’s not WORRIED about kipo when dave brings her to brunchington, couches his concern in terms of, basically, protecting an investment (it’s not feelings it’s BUSINESS he SWEARS). jamack HATES emotional vulnerability, even as he’s coming to acknowledge it in himself and act on it by protecting kipo.

this bodes pretty ill for jamack ever having had an unconditionally positive relationship in his life!

my hc is that harris, kwat and jamack have known each other since they were tadpoles. harris mentions jamack being “a loser since he was a tadpole”, which could just mean he was Aware of jamack and didn’t talk to him? but harris is a RED-EYED TREE FROG, the ONLY mod frog of that species we see! and considering how much mod frogs prize conformity in appearance, i think we can safely extrapolate that harris was ALSO a loser: ergo, they were losers TOGETHER.

kwat was probably there too, inexplicably fond of the behavioral outcast jamack and the wrong-species outcast harris.

growing up together puts them in a position to become as emotionally close as three mod frogs CAN be, but rather than being “friends” -- an arrangement which comes with a lot of vulnerability, and which is probably wildly stigmatized by mod frog culture besides -- they had to navigate their positive feelings for each other within the boundaries of the society they knew.

in episodes 1 and 2 of S1, we see jamack is functionally in charge of kwat and harris, though he calls them “colleagues” instead of “subordinates” (not sure what that’s about but i do find it interesting -- a holdover from when he wasn’t in charge of them? just how his Particular supervisory role works?). we also see harris be the most vocal dissenter of jamack’s decisions, doubting him and questioning his leadership. jamack gets nasty about it, too, insulting harris’s tie and his credentials as a mod frog -- so we know harris’s insubordination really bothers jamack.

maybe jamack is just insecure and doesn’t like his authority questioned! or maybe... they have unresolved emotional baggage :eyes:!! imo jamack got promoted over harris and kwat, and harris was bitter about it!

by comparison, kwat is less insubordinate when she’s working under jamack, but she also mocks jamack when she and harris are pursuing him in S1E9, which says to me she had some hard feelings of her own between them. kwat is the bruiser and the quiet type, and maybe is better at keeping her feelings under wraps when it’s not beneficial to her to voice them -- overall kwat has the brain cell between the three of them, but she’s not innocent of leaning into the adversarial competitiveness, either.

to sum up, they’ve had good times and chill times but they’ve competed, too, and been pitted against each other in order to succeed in their buttoned-up, emotionally repressed business culture. jamack in particular is DESPERATE for their boss’s regard, and him pursuing the praise of his superiors stands to be another behavioral pattern which contributed to harris and kwat drifting from jamack. remember when harris wanted to go home and call it a day in S1E2? jamack’s ambition separates him from kwat and harris. i think jamack may have been at fault for their most recent falling out, and possibly MOST of their fallings out, because of that.

basically corporate horseshit has torn them apart and thrown them together over and over again until their entire relationship became a mess of fond and neutral times spoiled by grudges and resentment. their relationships have always been changing because they’ve never had a framework to understand the concept of friendship and just. Settle Into It Comfortably? every positive feeling they had for each other either had to be 1) justified as good business practices or 2) violently repressed until, maybe, they lashed out at each other?

anyway thanks for coming to my TED talk! i hope that makes things a little clearer, but maybe they’re just more convoluted now. :’)

importantly, most of these ideas i hashed out in talks with @mossiestpiglet and @t-i-g-g-s before S2, fabricating elaborate backstories for kwat and harris and theorizing on mod frog culture, so!! credit where it’s due!! i couldn’t have become emotionally invested in these minor frog characters PROPERLY without u, lads! ;v;

#jamack #kwat kataow #harris kataow #mod frogs #Anonymous

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readingsbylibramc · 4 years ago

Text

synastry chart reading for @nabicat

hello! welcome to your reading. I'm going to give you a quick overview of what I'm going to analyze about your synastry chart: in-depth analysis of house overlays with major aspects, potential of the relationship, soulmates indicators, possible marriage indicators, possible issues and struggles of the relationship, intimacy and physical attraction, what they feel when they see / think about you, in-depth analysis of fate, love and marriage asteroids. of course, if you have any questions, feel free to ask! my dms are always open. now let's get into the reading!

PARTNER A: she/her | pisces sun, leo moon, capricorn rising.

PARTNER B: he/him | pisces sun, leo moon, cancer rising.

PARTNER A

🌞 partner a's pisces sun in his 9th house

this placement indicates that you two may learn a lot from this relationship. you two may come from different cultural backgrounds, or if you don't you still have a fresh vibe to you that brings something new to the other, a fresh perception of things. you may share the same ideas regarding politics, economy, or even about things as simple as music taste or movies. you see eye to eye on almost everything, and if you don't, you're still able to understand the other's view. you two are able to broaden each other's horizons, this relationship could introduce you to a new way of seeing and reacting to things, it's very beneficial as it opens the mind of both of you. this sense of knowledge and constant learning makes both of you achieve more security, and as a result you may feel more confident when you interact and just spend time together in general. you could also travel a lot, or perhaps you may attend the same school. if this relationship lasts, then you'll most likely explore the world together, you're going to be very adventurous, even if you normally don't really step out of your comfort-zone, as your partner gives you strenght and vice versa. this placement alone isn't extremely romantic, but combined with the rest of your synastry it surely is a great addition. in fact, this relationship is very mature, but not the capricorn type of maturity which can be quite boring at times. it's a type of maturity that is born from making experiences together, and hence you'll probably make loads of pleasant memories with this person.

🌙 partner a's leo moon in his 1st house

this is a very cute placement! the ascendant represents the centre, the purpose and basis of one's life. therefore, with your moon falling in your crush's first house, you most likely have an important space in his life. he sees you as someone very caring and nurturing, someone he can trust and that is always there for him for help. you two most likely got each other at first sigh, you instantly got along, and as a result there's a strong emotional bond between you two that makes it totally possible for you two to have a stable and healthy relationship. you feel at home when you're together, you feel comfortable and accepted. even if you're introverts, you probably don't feel tired after spending time with the other or vice versa. this placement also indicates that your feelings may be contagious; that is, if for instance one of you is sad, the other may feel down too as a result. you're both very empathetic when you're in each other's company. last but not least, this overlay also indicates that you see your crush as someone very powerful and assertive, someone ambitious that knows how to live his life. your crush, on the other hand, sees you as a very nurturing and emotional individual. that doesn't mean that he sees you as weak of course, but rather as someone soft, wise and sensitive.

partner a's leo moon conjunct partner b's leo moon: this aspect indicates a mutual understanding that goes beyond standards, it most likely feels like a soulmate connection. both of you are aware of the moods and the emotional changes and needs of the other person, you're very empathetic when it comes to understanding each other. you two feel familiar, you feel as if you've known each other for your whole life. it's almost a magical bond, you don't need words to communicate, it's like you already know everything about each other. you two are extremely similar, you react to situations in the same way and hence it makes it easier for you two to get along, especially in a romantic sense. it's a mostly positive aspect, but like all the aspects, it also has some negative sides to it. in fact, while this relationship may feel extremely chill and relaxing, being too similar isn't the best thing either. during fights, you may both be too proud, especially since your moons are placed in the sign of leo, and hence you could struggle with apologizing and recognizing your mistakes. in the worst case, you two could even get physically violent, but I don't think it's necessarily your case.

partner a's leo moon trine partner b's aries venus: this placement is absolutely lovely! you two are probably very romantic individuals, and if you're not, you're at least able to bring the romance out of each other. you are very affectionate, you may enjoy physical contact and cuddling, you probably express your love for each other through gestures. comfort and ease just flow easily between you two, it's a very powerful aspect that makes you two love each other's company. you could be the type of couple to spoil each other, maybe in gifts, or even in compliments. it's that type of relationship that boosts each other's self-esteem. you could also be the type or couple to call each other sweet names, such as 'baby', 'honey', and so on, this kind of things. this is also another placement that indicates that you two could be quite devoted to each other, you're always there when needed and vice versa.

🗣 partner a's pisces mercury in his 8th house

this one is a very complex aspect. first of all, combined with your positively-aspected moons, you probably feel extremely comfortable and intimate together. because of that, you feel safe sharing your deepest desires and secrets. you can talk freely about anything you have in your head with your crush, and as a result he seems to listen and understand you deeply, making you feel accepted, he doesn't answer your deep questions with superficial sentences. with your partner you feel free to talk about topics that are considered to be taboo like sex, spirituality, etc., you feel strangely comfortable discussing about these things. you could possibly even be into dirty talks. yet, this placement also has some bad sides to it, as the 8th house is a malefic house after all. your crush could feel particularly sensitive when he's with you, he cares a lot about what you think of him, and hence make sure that you're not too blunt when talking to him or you may hurt his feelings deeply. you could find yourself having a very sharp tongue in this relationship, especially while you two are arguing. you may end up saying very unpleasant things that could significantly ruin your connection, and that would obviously be a shame.

partner a's pisces mercury conjunct partner b's pisces sun: sun - mercury aspects generally aren't the most romantic or passionate of placements, and because of that, they're usually underestimated. yet, I honestly consider them extremely significant in a synastry reading, as communication is key for every couple. therefore, thanks to this aspect, communication between you two flows extremely easily. there are hardly embarassing silences between you two, somehow you always manage to find something to talk about, and since this conjunction happens in the 8th house you most likely get immersed in your discussions. you feel as if time stopped when you two talk. you two have similar ideals and beliefs, lots of interests in common... you love sharing your points of view to hear the other's opinion about your thought, but make sure to be diplomatic and open to any sort of disagreement, as it's something that I see happening in this particular relationship. overall, you two make a couple that values communucation seriously, you're probably always texting or chatting together.

❤️ partner a's pisces venus in his 8th house

this is for sure the most intense placement of the chart. after all, the 8th house rules scorpio, the sign of rebirth and transformation. therefore, this relationship may awaken something in you that has always been there, but that you never seemed to notice. you're both going to learn a lot from this connection, growing mature as time goes by. the house person, aka your crush, sees you as a safe place, a security; he sees you as a passionate and loyal lover, someone who would never betray his trust, and hence he feels a deep affection for you. these feelings are mutual, and you may find yourself being completely mesmerized by your partner, maybe even obsessed (in a positive sense, of course). your crush could literally feel like a drug to you, you can't get enough of him, it's a very deep connection that you can't seem able to get rid of even if you wanted to. that's because this is certainly a karmic connection, you have already met each other in a past life. because of that, you didn't fall for this person's looks, personality or charisma, but for this person in general. to make it simple, you don't want someone with the same traits as him, you want only him. you are also a very private couple, you may not like showing your relationship to the world, you prefer keeping it to yourself. this placement also indicates strong sexual compatibility, you two are very considerate of each other's wants and needs.

partner a's pisces venus conjunct partner b's pisces sun: this placement is extremely positive in a synastry chart! in fact you, the venus person, most likely see your partner as a very attractive individual, he fits your ideals of beauty, he's your ideal type. the sun person, your crush, sees that, he can perceive your admiration, and hence he feels very secure when he's around you. he feels your warmth, and this appreciation certainly boosts his self-esteem, he feels handsome thanks to you. combined with your sun conjunct mercury aspect you have together, you two most likely appreciate literally everything about each other, from looks, to personality, intelligence, etc. you see each other as a dream come true, something extremely rare, and hence you're both very careful with your approach to the other. you hate conflicts, and hence you try to avoid them as much as possible. venus also symbolizes money in astrology, and hence I definitely don't see you two struggling with finances in the long-run, and you may actually help each other when it comes to wealth.

☄️ partner a's aries mars in his 10th house

this placement isn’t exactly romantic, I would say it’s more suitable for a working relationship, but there are still some notes that could resonate. in first place, you may inspire your partner to be successful, you may be his strenght to pursue a certain career or even just to lead in general. your support boosts his self-esteem, allowing him to succeed and achieve his goals. in addition, you may actually work in the same field, or perhaps you aspire to follow his steps and work in the same environment as him. you may also literally help each other with your job, for example if he works in an office you may help him getting some documents done, if he’s a teacher you may help him with his students, etc. one thing for sure, you would support him in anything he does, you would become his numer #1 fan. the house person, aka your partner, also sees potential in you, and he may help you being more successful in your finances and career as well. he probably appreciates your skills and talents, as well as your strategies. the problem with this overlay is that, at first, this relationship could be quite boring or even cold at first. there’s a lot of seriousness and respect from both of you, which could make this relationship too heavy, especially for your free-spirited leo energy. this placement could also be interpreted in a more family-related way: you may inspire him to become a father, he may be very present for his children, and he would do anything to provide wealth and security for his family.

partner a's aries mars conjunct partner b's aries saturn: this placement is probably the worst you two have in this synastry chart, the hardest to deal with. mars is all about passion, energy and sex, while saturn is the planet of limitations and restrictions. put these two together, and you get unpleasant situation in you day-to-day life. this probably won't escalate to aggression or violence of any sort, as the rest of your planets are still positively aspected, but at a certain point there could be a few misunderstandings between the two of you. it could be that your crush may turn out to be a bit too childish and impulsive, not in a likeable way. he could say things that could hurt you deeply without thinking, or maybe he could even lose his temper and be more aggressive when you two are arguing. your crush has a hot temper and you feel like you always need to control him, as if he was a baby who needs a parent to control him. it could even be the opposite. you could also not feel very attracted to him at first, or perhaps this attraction you feel now may fade with time. possibly, you may even start being a bit critical of your partner, you may judge him quite often for his reckless behaviour.

PARTNER B

🌞 partner b's pisces sun in her 3rd house

with his sun in your 3rd house, I can see that your crush most likely fell for the way you think, for your manners, your ideals. you may be someone very smart, witty and / or talkative, maybe even outgoing, and his intelligence makes you feel attracted to him. he most likely feels comfortable talking to you; you may have many things in common like hobbies, dreams, studies, etc., or in general words just flow naturally when you two get to speak. your crush could feel motivated by your presence, you could inspire him to work hard and harder to achieve the best of himself. he feels very stimulated, and he can’t help but feel curious about you, you probably catch his attention, and you will most likely get along and see eye to eye on a bunch of things, there won’t be many disagreements between the two of you. this is generally a good aspect for a friendship, but for a love relationships, a few issues may arise. in fact, the 3rd house is a superficial house; your relationship may be very happy and pleasant to live, with tons of fun and amusement. yet, there could be a certain lack of emotional depth between you two. you may have fun, but you could sometimes struggle to understand each other’s feelings and emotions. I don’t think you will be completely unsensitive with each other, you still share the same moon sign, but still beware of the fact that this relationship may not provide you much emotional growth and possibly comfort.

🌙 partner b's leo moon in her 7th house

with his moon in your seventh house, your crush most likely feels secure and accepted when he's with you. he feels free and comfortable, he doesn't fear being judged because he knows he can trust you, and that you wouldn't hurt him on purpose. yet, even though you two most likely see eye to eye, your crush could find himself being a bit accommodating with you. he may try to avoid conflicts with you at all costs, he could give up on his ideals just to agree with you, and this is obviously an unhealthy habit for him. if you have the occasion, you could try reassuring him a bit. you, on the other hand, you feel extremely comfortable with your partner, you feel as if you've found your other half, someone who loves you for who you are without questioning your choices. he's very supportive of you and of your ideas, he's all about loyalty, romance and commitment, making you feel extra loved. you find him very attractive, not just on a physical level but also in an emotional sense. you like the way he expresses his emotions, he handles and reacts to situations.

partner b's leo moon square partner a's saturn: this placement is often found in synastry charts of married couples, as it is an indicator of a long-lasting relationship in astrology. yet, since in your case it's a square aspect, a few unpleasant challenges may arise. in fact, while on one side there is a strong sense of commitment and loyalty between you two, the relationship could start to feel a bit too heavy. perhaps, your crush may prefer having a more light-hearted connection than you, and hence he could sometimes get overwhelmed. you, on the other hand, you dream of a stable relationship, and because of that your needs and wants clash. aside from this though, I don't think you're going to experience many negative sides of this aspect thanks to your moon conjunct moon aspect. in fact, while this placement can make it hard for the saturn person being warm and expressing their emotions, your moons being both in the same sign, leo, mitigate this.

🗣 partner b's pisces mercury in her 3rd house

with his mercury in your 3rd house, you’re probably a very chatty couple! you find it easy to keep a conversation with this person, or at least you’ll find it easy to find something to talk about once you get to know him, words just flow out naturally. for instance, you’re probably the type of couple that stays up late at night just to talk with your significant other, I see this being that kind of relationship. you could have similiar interests, hobbies, maybe even studies, and you could often end up talking about this type of things. I also find this placement a great match with your moon conjunct moon aspect I’ve mentioned above; in fact, this aspect makes communication so easy between you two that sorting out your issues and misunderstandings is not a big deal at all, or at least it’s not as serious as it usually is. you may argue like any couple of course, but I don’t think these arguments will be too dangerous for the relationship.

❤️ partner b's aries venus in her 3rd house

the influence of venus in the 3rd house makes both of you very considerate with your words. I don’t really see you two screaming during arguments, not at all. you always try to be as calm and caring as possible, you care about your words as you don’t want to hurt the other. I find this placement very beneficial, considering that your venus is in aries; generally, I assume he is quite an impulsive speaker, he says things before thinking, and hence he could often end up in troubles because of his sharp tongue. still, when he's with you, he manages to control himself, and maybe he could learn how to control his impulsiveness thanks to you in this relationship, who knows. on the other hand, you have a soft spot for him, you may avoid sarcasm and stuff like that when you're around him, as you want to express your feelings and love for him through your words. venus is also the planet of art, so I feel like you may have similiar interests; for example, you could listen to the same genre of music, read the same authors, watch the same genre of movies, etc. you see eye to eye on your hobbies, and this obviously makes your life together way easier. in fact, since you two both have strong aries energy in you, you need to find someone that kind of matches your energy, as you both struggle to change for someone else.

☄️ partner b's scorpio mars in her 10th house

I won't be going too deep into this section as it basically confirms what I've said above, the feeling is mutual. that is, you two both drive each other to be successful and resolute, you find each other both motivated to be at your best state whenever you're in each other's company. you care about having a good impression on him and vice versa.

partner b's scorpio mars square partner a's leo moon: this placement may cause some troubles, as you may often be blind to your partner’s attitude. especially since his moon is placed in your 7th house, you may sometimes idealize your partner way too much when he’s not actually who he seems to be. at first you may be okay with his behaviour, after all you have lots of similar signs and positive aspects that make you two get along. yet, as time goes by, you may start feeling constantly contradicted, arguments could be more frequent as you may misunderstand each other. more specifically, you start realizing that your partner’s nature is slightly different from yours, and while there are many other aspects that could mitigate this effect, you may still feel as if it’s impossible for you to have a long-lasting, healthy relationship in these occasions. especially your partner, he may often hurt your feelings with his words. on the other hand, this placement also has a positive side! you are strongly attracted to each other, you both feel attached to the other with glue, and that’s exactly why this relationship could become unhealthy, because you may struggle to let go of the other if necessary. your bond is so strong that you can’t manage to separate, even when there are so many hardships and conflicts.

partner b's scorpio mars trine partner a's pisces venus: in astrology, this is considered to be the ultimate physical attraction aspect! in fact, you two probably find each other very attractive and magnetic. I don't think this connection started off as a friendship, and if it did then it was probably unbearable, as the attraction and chemistry between you two is just way too much to handle. you two most likely are a very touchy couple, not necessarily in a sexual way but you find it hard not to stare, touch each other; physical contact is key in this connection. this placement makes me think that your crush coule be the dominant figure in your relationship, he could be the one to approach you first for instance. in general, he tends to be the one who takes the initiative in any context. your partner appreciates you, and he may feel romantically attracted to you, you probably fit his ideals when it comes to looks, personality, etc. this placement probably makes this relationship so intense and magnetic that it will be hard to forget, even if you two don't end up together. this is certainly a soulmate / twinflame connection, especially with your neptunian energy. I'm sure you're both going to learn a lot from this connection.

ASTEROIDS & CO

partner b's leo north node conjunct partner a's leo vertex: again, this is another placement that indicates that there's a soulmate or even twinflame connection going on here. you two were meant to be, your meeting in this lifetime was fated. that doesn't necessarily mean that you're going to end up together, but this relationship surely has loads of potential. even if there wasn't an happy ending, you two would still get out of it with a lot of wisdom and maturity on your back. we're talking about a karmic relationship that will surely prepare both of you to future challenges, events or even a future partner. you could have met each other in an unusual situation for example, you didn't expect to be meeting at first. more specifically, you, the vertex person, perceive your crush as your ideal type, as the perfect match for you. this is also another strong marriage placement as well! I can definitely see this relationship being long-lasting if you two manage to sort out your conflicts I've mentioned above.

and this is it! thank you again for booking a reading, let me know if you have any questions :) - libramc xx

- not corrected yet -

#astrology

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iamaweretoad · 5 years ago

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🌼 and 🌲, please, and i've always wanted to ask ☄️ c:

Putting it under a cut because it got a bit long

🌼 Who are this characters friends and found family? How did they meet, how long have they been friends for, could they ever be something more than just friends? What do they look for in a friend or a romantic partner?

On the more straightforward side of things, there’s his friendship with folks like Sal and Tallis and Mad Molly. They are mutually beneficial arrangements that are, at their core, transactional, but there is also a degree of genuine affection.

His relationship with Jespar and Calia is complicated. He was very close to them before the Black Stones, and he still very much cares about them, but those relationships are going to take some time to repair. He’s not willing to let himself be vulnerable again, he’s not ready to trust them.

(In the version of events from the Before Times pre: Forgotten Stories, when the chance for reconciliation with Jespar and Calia came, Eska was so alone and desperate that he repressed the shit out of those feelings and jumped at the chance. Now, with Tharaêl in the mix, that has changed. Eska isn’t entirely alone this time, and so he’s getting to experience and work through those feelings instead of just burying them, and I’m still figuring out how that plays out and what reconciliation looks like in the wake of everything that’s happened.)

I won’t go into Tharaêl too much here because I think one of the other questions will cover that better, but in short: Tharaêl went from an excuse for Eska to get himself killed, to the reason Eska is still alive. He is family and Eska is ready to go feral on anything that threatens that.

Re: whether or not I can see Eska getting romantically involved with any of them…. - As much as he crushed pretty hard on Jespar in the beginning (which was in part genuine, but largely a desperately unhealthy coping mechanism), I don’t think they could give each other what the other person needs, they’re too different in the wrong ways (and also the 12 year age gap coupled with Eska’s complete lack of experience is kinda pushing it), but had they actually had enough time, I could see them becoming very good friends. - Calia is lovely but she’s not a dude, and at any rate their relationship was always more that of an older sister to a little brother. - And Tharaêl…. if we’re talking canon timeline, then emphatically no. If we’re talking AU…………. I don’t know. Like, in an AU where things work out differently and they have like 8+ years of working through shit? I wouldn’t rule it out? AUs are for exploring stuff after all. But even in that sort of scenario I think I see them as more likely to wind up in more of a queer platonic sort of partnership than a romantic one.

🌲 How deeply does your OC feel? Are they typically empathetic or do they have a hard time connecting with others in this way? What are they like when offering support and comfort to someone they care for?

Eska has….. *checks notes* precisely zero chill. He’s an emotionally volatile, heart-on-sleeve mess.

As far as what he’s like when offering support or comfort…. Instantly ready to fight whatever hurt them, very earnest but also DEEPLY aware of the fact that he is probably the least qualified person to help anyone.

☄️ Does this OC deserve better treatment from you? Do you make them suffer just a little bit too much? Be nice to them!

I mean, there are probably some instances? But I feel like most of the really rough stuff is the result of trying to figure out how the character would realistically react to the boatload of trauma and batshit insane stuff that the game throws at them. And of the stuff that I have more freedom to interpret, in a lot of the cases altering it feels like it would also fundamentally alter the character? Like, for example, Sirius’ death is a scripted event, but I get to define what that means for Eska and I could have made it mean a lot less. But that would have affected Eska’s whole history and who he is as a person now and how he goes on to view and interact with the world, I wouldn’t have been playing/writing Eska anymore, I would have been playing someone else (admittedly, probably a happier and more stable someone).

“Be nice to them!” Man, I’m trying! XD

#thank you so much! :D #ask a weretoad #eska #i didn't forget esme in the first question I just haven't finished figuring out how that whole questline fits in

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celestialmarks · 5 years ago

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☮♦ for kokichi & ♒ for rurikawa. take your time i know i asked a lot

you really think i can’t ramble abt kokichi at the drop of a hat u should know me better by now

cracks knuckles. i know my audience, so i’ll talk about his friendship with amami, for the friendship headcanon! i'm thinking of postgame, but i won't discuss spoilers, not to worry.

the way is envision it, at first, their dynamic is what we can infer from the official relationship chart: amami, being (on the surface, but still) a super chill guy, goes along with his antics up to a certain point while internally being like “damn, this dude’s annoying” and kokichi can TOTALLY tell and will take advantage. he’s going to test amami’s patience, let me tell you. so you have amami’s smile growing increasingly strained, and his defense of kokichi getting sloppier and sloppier, until he just doesn’t bother anymore. and afterwards he comes up with a flimsy excuse that he knows kokichi won’t believe, and kokichi also knows that he knows, so they both just smile at each other like “:)…………….” it’s really frigging funny

after that though, kokichi’s got a good sense of where amami’s bullshit tolerance level is, so he's playing around with that. if he keeps it on the down-low, amami’s so tired that he’s bound to lower his guard at some point and his Big Brother Instinct will instinctively trigger so he will, say, agree to giving kokichi a piggy-back ride without thinking and then be like “wait……….” but it’s too late he can’t get out of it. basically kokichi is like the perpetual annoyance that will drag him around and well i’ll let you infer from canon how he feels about the fact that they have a sibling-like relationship (except, more messed up, moreso the shadow of one, to begin with, because it’s not like either of them want to go further than play-pretend…) EXCEPT that there’s a second side to their relationship which is, i think, kokichi’s enabling amami’s bastardly tendencies, except that like. nobody believes that! because amami’s such a laid back, good guy, right! so the blame falls on kokichi which kokichi’s fine with bcse he’s used to that, and then amami’s gonna help him weasel out of the sticky situations he gets himself in using the trust people will put in him, so it’s like… bad cop good cop except it’s trustworthy lad vs untrustworthy gremlin, and they’re not truly either but who cares since it serves them. mutually beneficial bastardism, baybey! so yes in a nutshell i think kokichi makes two very contradictory sides of amami’s personality come out and clash which are his devotion to his siblings and his selfishness / indifference; and i’m not too sure where that’ll go but i’ll probably explore it in fic when the time comes.

for the quirk/hobbies headcanon, i think canon gives us plenty of info when it comes to his hobbies (hide and seek, games in general, designing funky weapons and the like, Being Gay Doing Crime, and i feel like he’d enjoy stimulating conversations overall even in a quiet context, for example around a cup of tea since he seems to value that downtime. he’s also said to like animals since they don’t lie, which i think is adorable, albeit a little sad when you think of the implications. there’s probably more but i need to replay salmon mode). when it comes to quirks, i think it’s canon that he’ll twirl locks of hair around his index finger when he’s thinking, which is why his hair is like that? (that’s also really cute i can’t stand him.) and that he loves carbonated drinks, so i think he’s probably not great with sleeping properly, one way or the other. i’d add that he wears nail polish (i think that’s also a popular hc), that he has adhd which is why his thinking space is an organised mess and that he’s so bouncy and keen on being entertained, andddd… i can think of other things but in the broader sense that’s all i have? i’d need to get a lot more detailed and precise to get into his habits and i could basically ramble on and on about it, so i’ll stop there.

also you asked me about a cooking/food hc for rurikawa (rurikawa yuki from a3) and like… well in main story canon he’s 14-15 and adults usually have lunches covered at mankai, so i don’t think he cooks by himself at all, but i think he can feed himself if he has to? yuki comes from a pretty traditional family so they would have taught him the basics at least. but i think he’s not especially interested in it, so he most likely wouldn’t cook purposefully or anything. he wouldn’t be reluctant either, though, and would probably help omi out when he needs and pick up a few things along the way. otherwise, he probably learns more about cooking as he gets older, especially once moving out of dorms.

his favorite food is omurice and i think… that’s relatively easy to cook? apparently yuki only likes mild stuff he has baby tastebuds dfghjdgdh he can’t handle wasabi at all for example. and he just ends up giving that part of his plate to someone else. i think when he does it’s kind of a way to show affection though, bcse iirc he gives what he doesn’t want to izumi in a backstage story at some point (and tenma’s also shown taking something from yuki's plate in a blog picture. yuki was very casual about the whole thing. since giving things/gestures instead of words are his most prominent love languages i’m just :’) they’re very comfortable around each other and it shows thanks to little details like these.)

#i DONT HAVE AN ASK TAG ANYMORE ummm #robin replies #yeah that'll do #don't tell ko/kichi stans i exist i dont want them to find me

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bbyboybrock--archived · 5 years ago

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Serendipity (C.B) | Chapter 9

Summary: Serendipity: (n) the chance occurrence of events in a beneficial way

Popular youtuber Isabella Hart, known as Bella to her audience, bends over backwards to separate her youtube life from her private life. Known for her overall clean content and her bubbly attitude, Isabella has a wild side to her that only those inside the youtube community know about. When Bella meets Colby during one of the trap house parties she finally meets someone she can be her genuine self with. When trouble arises after their meeting, will Bella be able to hand the pressure or will she destroy her relationship with Colby as well as herself in the process. [This starts in 2018]

Written: 2019

Word Count: 2,771

Warnings: swearing

Serendipity Masterlist

I sit in the shopping cart surrounded by things while Colby pushes the cart. Both of us needed to do some shopping so we decided to make it a date. We've gone on a lot of dates that we think would keep us hidden from fans. It's starting to get a little boring. We mostly hang out at my apartment or Colby's house. If we do go out in public we go at night or to a party. I want to take us public just so our options for date night aren't as limited. But I still like the idea of privacy and I know that Colby wants to protect me for as long as he can from the fans that would send hate. We talked about when and how we would announce it the week after Gabby left, but we both kept trying to keep it a secret for a full year. I don't even know how we lasted nearly six months without one of our friends accidentally leaking it.

My thoughts are interrupted by my phone ringing. I dig it out of my pocket and look at the caller id. I stare at it puzzled for a second before answering it.

"JC? Why are you calling? Is everything okay?" I point Colby down an aisle while I see why JC is calling.

"Hey Bella, long time no talk. Listen, are you busy Friday?" I think for a second.

"We were literally texting last week. Anyway, no I'm not. Why?"

"Kian and I are having a party, want to come?"

"Can I bring someone?"

"Yeah, bring whoever. Just say yes."

"Sure, I'll come. Why didn't you just ask me over text? You calling actually made me nervous."

"Sorry, I just had to be sure you wouldn't pretend that you didn't see my text or have time to come up with an excuse."

"I'm not that bad. I'm busy right now but I'll text you later about the details. Bye!" I hang up the phone before JC could say anything else.

Colby slows the cart down and stops me in front of the school supplies. He walks in front of me with his mouth slightly open.

"I'm sorry, when you said, 'JC' did you mean JC Caylen?"

"Yeah! We go way back. Did I not tell you I was friends with all of the O2L guys? Kian and JC are like my brothers at this point." I grab a few notebooks and examine them before choosing a nice teal one.

"Dude! They're my dream collab. I can't believe you never told me you knew them."

"Well, you're in luck. They're having a party on Friday and JC said that I could bring someone." A small smile creeps on my face as I watch the corner of Colby's mouth twitch. He's trying not to show how excited he is but he's failing. I grab a few more school supplies that are in my reach and throw them in the cart.

"That's awesome! I can't wait." If we weren't in a store Colby might me jumping for joy.

"Let's go you goof. I'm starving and we can talk about the party."

****

Friday comes quicker than expected. Colby and I stand outside of Kian and JC's place. I can tell by the way Colby is shifting on his feet that he is nervous. Colby always seems so cool, so seeing him like this is kind of cute. He took even longer than normal to get ready. He's been planning the perfect outfit since Wednesday. I tried to invite Sam but he and Kat already had plans.

JC opens the door and I give him a huge hug. We haven't seen each other in months. I turn around to see Colby starstruck at the sight of JC. He quickly shakes his head and snaps out of it.

"Hey J, this is my boyfriend Colby. Colby, I think you know JC." They shake hands and greet each other.

"Nice to meet you man, I've seen your stuff. Welcome to the party. Drinks are in the kitchen. Don't worry Bella, I made sure to pick up some juice boxes just for you." JC takes a sip from his drink.

"Oh shut up, we both know that I can out drink you in a heartbeat. How's Kian? Did you tell him that I was coming?" Colby has gone back to being starstruck and kind of drooling at JC.

"Yeah, it's all good. Don't worry about a thing, chicken wing." I roll my eyes and look at Colby.

"You know what, why don't you two go find somewhere for us to chill together while I go get us some drinks. JC, do you need a refill?" I lightly hit Colby to bring him back to Earth. JC nods and puts his arm around Colby's neck and they walk off talking.

I walk around and try to find the kitchen. I decided to walk in the direction where there is a larger group of people. It's not nearly as crowded as the trap house parties so it's easier for me to walk around. When I reach the kitchen I luckily find three empty and clean solo cups. I make Colby's drink first. I just pour a cup of soda, he's driving us back home. He also told me that he didn't want to get drunk tonight because he didn't want to make a fool of himself. I mix two random drinks for JC and I. I grab all three cups and begin my search for JC and Colby. I quickly find them on the couch talking about God knows what. I plop myself in-between them and hand them their drinks. I greet Chelsea and join the conversation.

****

About an hour and two drinks later all four of us are still on the couch. Not much is going on around the party. It's really chill compared to how their old parties and the trap house parties. Colby is a lot more comfortable and being himself around everyone. I look around and see Kian awkwardly standing in a group. It looks like he's not even paying attention to the conversation happening. We make eye contact and he gives a small smile and gestures to the front door.

"Hey, I'm going to talk to Kian for a bit. You okay here by yourself?"

"Yeah, go have fun." I kiss Colby's cheek and untangle myself from him.

I head out the front door to find Kian sitting down. I sigh before taking a seat next to him. We both sit in silence and sip our drinks. I don't know what to say or what he's thinking. I don't even know what I'm thinking. Kian and I haven't talked in almost a year. Things between us weren't even the best.

"You don't talk to me in over a year and then you show up at my party?" Kian doesn't even look at me, he just keeps looking forward.

"If I remember correctly, and I do, us not talking was a mutual decision. Besides, JC invited me and told me that you knew. I'll leave if that makes you feel better." I finish what's in my cup and stand up.

"You're still the same."

"I was going to be nice and show you that I actually did change but someone decided to be a dick." I turn around to go back inside and get Colby but Kian's hand stops me from leaving.

"No, wait. I'm sorry. When I saw you I had a plan on how this was going to go but then I screwed it all up. Just, please sit down." His voice is soft.

"The minute you start being a jerk again I'm actually leaving." I sit back down and stare forward.

We sit in silence again. The air is tense between us. We know what needs to be said but neither of us knows how to say it or even start the conversation. We had a fight, things were said, and then we mutually ended our friendship. It made things awkward between Kian, JC, and I. Before Elijah helped me find my own place, I used to crash at Kian and JC's to get out of the house. They never questioned why a 16-year-old was sleeping on their couch at least once a week. We just hung out and went to parties together.

"So, uh, do you still have feelings for me?" I break the silence and make things even more awkward.

"Does it matter? I mean, if I confirm or deny that, then are things going to change?"

"You're right, things wouldn't change. I just didn't know what to say." I play with the empty cup in my hands.

"I'm sorry about what I said."

"It's okay, you were right. I was just too fucked up at the time to realize that you were just trying to help me. I got my shit together and now look at me." I turn to Kian and grin.

"Glad I could help. Was the, uh, the guy you were all cozy with—was that your boyfriend?"

"Yeah, his name is Colby. Don't tell him I told you this, but he's like a huge fan of you and JC."

"Happy looks good on you." Kian sheepishly smiles and blushes.

"Kian Lawny, that is the corniest thing you have ever said. And believe me, you've said some shit. But in all seriousness, I'm really happy right now. Not just because of Colby; you know how I feel about girls think that dating some guy will drastically change their lives. Dating Colby is an added plus the that I wouldn't have been able to appreciate if you didn't go off on me. I've been working things out and coming to terms with some things."

"Maybe I should go off on people I care about more often. Anyway, catch me up on what else is new with you."

Last year, Kian and I were at a party like this one. It was a bit more hectic, and so was I. I would go to most of the parties with Kian and sometimes JC too. And just like every party I would get completely shit-faced and go hook up with some random person. That day Kian got to me before I was too drunk and pulled me outside. He told me that he had feelings for me. He said that even though he had these feelings, he wasn't going to act on them because of how I was. He even went as far as to say that if I continued to live the way I was, nobody was ever going to love me. That nobody could love me if I didn't love myself. Naturally, and because I was about half drunk, I got defensive and called him a slew of names. The argument ended with Kian saying that he couldn't just stand by and watch me waste my life away. So we both agreed that we just wouldn't be in each other's lives anymore. That argument hurt and I responded by getting drunker than I've ever been and sleeping with a few guys before going home. A few days later I realized what Kian was talking about. So I stopped going to parties for a while. When I did start going to parties again I put myself on a four drink maximum limit and an absolutely no hookup policy. In my free time I worked on my mental health and made things better for myself. I'm not complete fine, but I'm better off than I was this time last year.

****

The rest of the conversation goes on normally. Eventually, I take Kian to meet Colby and we stay a bit longer so that they can get to know each other. Colby and I leave about an hour after that. We grab food from Taco Bell and take it back to the trap house. The whole time Colby is beaming about Kian and JC. I smile to myself as I listen to what they talked about every little detail Colby touches on. Colby only stops talking about just before we're about to go to bed.

Just like every time one of us spends the night at the other's, we spend a bit of time on our phones before bed. Colby is browsing music and working on something in his notes app. I'm taking the time to scroll through social media and replying to fans. After seeing Colby's reaction to meeting Kian and JC, I can't help but feel like I'm making someone else feel like that. Normally I just like edits or tweets, but now I'm actually commenting. My mentions are blowing up more than usual. I click to see what has everyone in a tizzy. When I see what I was tagged in I quickly sit up in bed.

"Oh fuck..." I keep checking all the mentions and most of them are the same.

"What happened? What wrong?" Colby places his hand on my back and rubs small circles.

"Someone at the party got footage of us together and uploaded it. Everyone's freaking out on Instagram. I don't even want to check Twitter. The fans even started digging through old posts." Colby sits up and looks over my shoulder at my phone.

"Don't read the comments. Not right now anyway. Let's just put our phones away and go to bed. We can deal with it in the morning." Colby yanks my phone out of my hand and puts both of our phones on our chargers. We lay back down but neither of us is going to sleep for a while.

"I mean, it was bound to happen one of these days." I lace our fingers together.

"What should we do?"

"Well, we only have two options. We can either deny it or confirm it."

"Let's just confirm it, Iz. We did say that we would announce our relationship sometime after six months. We can do things normal couples do instead of sneaking around like teenagers."

"Okay, technically I still am a teenager, thank you very much. Nineteen still has the word 'teen' in it. And you're right. I was also enjoying the outside world not having an opinion on our relationship. You know, like normal couples."

"Don't worry princess, everything will work out. Let's go to sleep and deal with it in the morning." I place my head on Colby's chest and for a moment we both just lay there listening to the sounds of the other just existing.

****

I wake up alone in bed. I sit up to see Colby sitting at his desk. I throw his stuff koala to get his attention instead of calling him like a normal human. Colby turns around and picks up the koala before jumping into bed with me.

"So I've been thinking while you were sleeping. We both have to upload today, so why don't we just do fun videos on our channels and go public that way? If mess up your video schedule then we can just do it on my channel." I think about the videos that I already have edited and ready to go. My manager isn't going to like it, but I'm going to do it anyway.

"No, I can post something else today and push everything else back a week. Just hand me my laptop. What video did you want to film for your channel?" Colby hands me my laptop and I post on all my social media that my video is going to be up late.

"Probably the eat it or wear it challenge. It's more on brand for my channel. What about you? Are we going to some sort of makeup video?"

"Cole Robert Brock, I am appalled that you would even suggest a video that I was already thinking about. Now I'm going to have to think of a different video. Oh! How about a fast food roulette video? We can do it like a mukbang and talk about our relationship." I sit up in bed happy. Is it because I'm happy about opening up about our relationship, or because I'm thinking about food? Probably both.

Colby and I quickly get ready and go to film our videos. After a few hours, Colby and I work in overtime to get our videos edited. We upload our videos at the exact same time and promote the shit out of them. After uploading we decided to stay off the internet the rest of the day and have our first big date out in public during the day.

#colby #colby brcok #colby fan fic #colby fanfic #colby fan fiction #colby fanfiction #colby brock fan fic #colby brock fanfic #colby brock fan fiction #colby brock fanfiction

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bscully · 6 years ago

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How Casca will interact with her peers...

...based on their zodiac sign! [Check the list here]

Well okay, to be fair, half of this is written with what I already know about their personality, and there are some other bits from their zodiac sign that complements it very well (imo a super interesting circumstance) :)

Casca x Farnese | Scorpio x Pisces

Oooo! I know this might be obvious by what we already know, but their zodiac sign also confirms it: I’m Scorpio who has a Pisces sibling and by experience I can already tell you this bond will be emotionally close and very strong. Because they are both people with emotional depth, they’ll be able to talk about EVERYTHING, understand each other on a very deep level and nothing will be able to take them apart. Farnese will give Casca the empathy and emotional security that she needs, while Casca (with her mere presence and how she is going to take her trauma) will be showing Farnese a direction in life and the emotional strength that Farny will be eager to adapt. Guts would not be able to do so, since he lacks the means to put it into words, but Casca, given her self-awareness, desire for purpose and smarts, surely will.

Casca x Schierke | Scorpio x Virgo

This one is also very interesting. Scorpio is both emotional and analytical, while Virgo also has those two traits, but is less hot-headed and self-destructive. They both strive to be honorable and respected by society which is why they both can be very formal. Their understanding for the other is mutual because they both emotionally and intellectually are on the same level. Because Schierke currently lacks a female role model (which used to be Flora) it’s possible Casca will take on that role successfully. Farnese did not take on that role because she does not have “authority” over Schierke from the beginning. But since Scorpios tend to be very dominant and confident in their presence, Schierke may end up looking up to Casca in a similar fashion as how she looks up to Guts. But it’s also the other way round: Casca will appreciate and respect Schierke’s smartness, kindness and desire to treat the injured. They will both hold each other in high regard. To me that sounds like they’re set to become best friends forever as well!

Casca x Serpico | Scorpio x Taurus

Taurus, similarly to Cancer (= Guts), is a loyal, laid back and chill, which can be calming to the extreme emotions Scorpio is sometimes dealing with (Being a Scorpio having a Taurus friend I relate to this a lot). If Miura decides them to get enough screen time, I can see them developing a strong friendship as well. If we get to see a little bit of them, their interaction may seem distant, but at the same time trusting and emotionally beneficial for both of them: with Casca stirring up Serpico’s calm nature (Guts did so in a similar fashion), and Serpico’s calm demeanor positively affecting Casca (basically giving each other what they both need).

Casca x Roderick | Scorpio x Aries

Between those two signs, there is a lot of sexual chemistry and attraction but only little emotional connectivity (which is required for a Scorpio to make a relationship that lasts). I’ve decided to mention this anyway because we might end up with a Casca x Farnese x Roderick love triangle (or love square, if you count in Guts; or love pentagon if you count in Schierke crushing on Guts lmao) similarly to Guts x Casca x Griffith love triangle in the Golden Age. Funnily enough, all of the above have a very high romantic compatibility, so that should be interesting in terms of dynamics between them.

#berserk #casca #predictions #zodiac signs

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jangyeevns · 6 years ago

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plot with me pt. 2

ok so listen up ! i’m being bombarded with inspo from my favourite songs at 3am — well, now 4am on the dot as of posting this — and. for the love of god, i need some chill people to cry over these four or five songs with before doing some cracked or angsty shit, sO ! ( again, sideblogs are over at @dimclos, @perihelicns and reintroducing @froshics for your own discretion and the first part — bc apparently these are gonna be a series now so be prepared to Block at any given moment if, or When, i start spamming y’all gjlsdf — is here )

i’m gonna say it again before diving in, miss hyunmi is itching to be used ! as is dayeong ! give me chaos for one and angst for the other, please and thanks

“ like slow disappearing ” — turnover: aka a fucking Beautiful track that chokes me up for whatever reason if i’m focusing on the lyrics too much, dk why. so it’s assumed that the song is about an acid trip, which. fucking makes sense, honestly. and i thought it’d be cool to do a lifelong best friends checking off their college to-do lists type of thing, where they’re just chilling at either a small gathering at someone’s house or by themselves and both take a hit; one hasn’t done it before and wants to Rebel by giving it a try with their best bud, but gets a little apprehensive before being coaxed into it. i’m more interested in what happens after, mostly bc a bitch wouldn’t know the exact ramifications of its effects and i’d rather not butcher it fgsdlkgfj but the (pre-)chorus always struck me as a realization of sorts, so maybe some romantic thoughts bloom from it for one or both of them, and we get underlying awkwardness, further attachment, messy antics bc they rarely — if ever — saw each other That way and they’re at a loss for how to go about it...... idfk sdfljdfl but i always get some kind of 90s vision in my head with that song for whatever reason, so think of it like some teen drama/movie from back then in how lax it’d develop and all that

“ 7 ” — catfish and the bottlemen: honestly, any catfish song deserves a plot to be based upon it, probably gonna add another later dsgfklgfdj but this would be good for my idol/actor muses or even some of my kids on dimclos. song’s about a long-distance, and at-present on the rocks, relationship involving a travelling rockstar, someone who’s overwhelmed by the occurrences in their life and kind of wants the world to stop so they can have some time to themselves. the love is there, but it’s just not working like they’d hoped and it’s a back and forth of ignoring the other’s calls to sever the tie just a little quicker, to wanting to hear their voice and hold onto the relationship for dear life. and connecting it to another song of theirs...

“ homesick ” — catfish and the bottlemen: the balcony is such a good album guys, goD. anyways, it serves as more clarification behind the strain; glimpses of jealousy and arguments because they don’t communicate and their professional lives push these things further — one works day to night by practicing and performing in front of a crowd and being almost too drained to meet or talk, the other likely has a 9-5 or a more friendly schedule and takes out their frustrations and own feelings of neglect by flirting with coworkers, customers, whoever. though it never goes beyond that. but they never divulge their hurt, so the other can’t begin to understand. at the end of the day, it was all initially thought to be smooth sailing and if anything, beneficial for both, because being on tour or overwhelmed by promotions means building the musician up to do better by their s/o on all fronts. but it ends up with them making one another feel unwanted and upset more than loved

“ patience ” — river tiber: basically a slow burn plot lfgdksjgfsd classic muse meets muse a party or a club, or somewhere supplying alcohol, and both take an interest — but one’s pretty much enamoured already. problem is, one that persists as time goes on, they don’t know how to act, thus they don’t breach the line of subtle interest just to save face for a Good while. it’s not in their usually confident character, it puts them off and it surely makes them look cowardly — meanwhile the other muse is thiS close to just acting on impulse to get the point across that they’re into Them, but they’re also confused as all hell by the mixed signals being sent their way. basically give me a disaster pairing that’s a lot cuter and aggravating in action than it sounds in the song ( bc he has a penchant for making everything minimalist and moody.. bless him but Please sgjlg )

“ ruthless ” — the marías: rich best pals separated by circumstance leads to years of not seeing each other and soon not speaking either. so come some gala where all their pompous mutuals friends have come together, they bump into each other as mid-twenties versions of themselves and catch up. maybe one had a crush on the other for some time before they lost touch, maybe they had a brief fling and buried its existence mentally for the sake of their friendship long ago, but Something resurfaces and. it just goes from there slgkdjgfd. if we’re being true to some aspects of the song, then one or both could’ve been arrogant and spoiled when they were younger, only for one to remain as such as time went on — only more independent. the other likely blossomed to be more charismatic and polite in comparison, though they still understand each other fairly well, almost as if they’ve hardly changed since time has passed them by. idk if this makes sense anymore gdsflgjdf but clueless seemed too much like the framework for 7 + homesick, and i Love the marias so

“ pressure ” — the 1975: having quietly dated since before one muse pursued a career in the entertainment industry, the two are slowly adjusting to the performer’s steady rise in popularity and what it means for them if — or rather when — their relationship goes public. the pressure mounts on both of them as they come to terms with these unspoken, impending expectations; the non-celebrity especially fears a shake in their humility alongside their awareness of the gaze of the public bound to be upon them, their privacy — and what remains of the performer’s — soon to be impeded upon. however, they can bask in the comfort of each other as they navigate the trials of being in a professionally mismatched relationship, and one for millions to observe as they please. so.. basically just a basic non-celeb/celeb relationship, but really showcasing the insecurities that can come with it, the overwhelming nature of being a nobody to one of the top searched names of the day, etc

#wp #yes i'm annoying i Know #DKSGFJGSDFL #anyways im gonna crash but i'll save a couple of opens i saw on the dash before i do !

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msclaritea · 2 years ago

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'Super/Natural' Disney+ Review: Stream It or Skip It?

By John Serba

"Not to be confused with the saga of two hunks traveling the country hunting demons and such, NatGeo’s Super/Natural (now on Disney+) is a nature documentary boasting James Cameron as executive producer and Benedict Cumberbatch as narrator. Conceptually, the six-episode series exposes the “secret” “super” “powers” that things in the natural world possess, so we can drop jaw when we cast our unworthy human gaze at them. Anyone of the opinion that squirrels and ants and fungi suck because they’re boring would do well to fire up this one and be amazed and humbled.

SUPER/NATURAL: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?

The Gist: This first episode is called “Strange Relations,” and focuses on the unexpected ways animals help each other survive in a world where someone’s always trying to mate or not get eaten. So: Meet the goshawk. It’s called “the phantom of the forest.” It uses its ability to glide stealthily through the trees and pretty keen eyesight to snatch its prey for a snack. But this segment is not about the goshawk. Oh no. Those spectacular shots of the goshawk navigating its environment by nimbly manipulating its wings and tailfeathers were just the filmmakers showing off. No, this is about all the animals who think the goshawk is a total j-hole for wanting to eat them. The chickadee, for example, which, upon spotting a goshawk, cheeps a “coded message” to its woodland pals, especially the squirrels, who can mimic that cheeped message and help warn any mice, bunnies or other miscellaneous vulnerable creatures of the danger. And get this – the goshawk is fast, but the cheeped message is faster. Time to hit the Taco Bell drive-thru, Mr. Goshawk.

Next, a frigid North American wood. It gets down to 30 degrees below zero at night. But this little fuzzy squirrel here, he can’t hibernate. Too small. He’s gotta go out in the freezing cold and chow on some nuts or whatever. An animal has to be special as heck to survive this chill – quick, efficient, . He climbs up a tree like every squirrel does, but then he flings himself off and stretches out his built-in glider wings and soars. (Where’s his moose best buddy?). Cumberbatch calls him a “ninja of the night,” and you can’t disagree. But that’s not all. It’s dark and the woods are tangled and confusing. How’s he going to get home? Well, this species of flying squirrel also has a GLOW-IN-THE-DARK BELLY. We can’t see it without an ultraviolet light: the white fur on his little tum-tum glows iridescent, which allows him to spot his fellow squirrels in the dim moonlight so he can return to the cozy hollow tree and snuggle in for the night, belly full and satisfied.

But that’s not all. We’ve got some adorable baby burrowing owls who can make a very un-baby-burrowing-owl-like sound. Mexican fireflies that pulse their bioluminescent lights in sync. African cocktail ants who can take on a whole giraffe. Ugandan mongooses who munch ticks right off the backs and nether-regions of warthogs (is it me, or one of those shots kinda pornographic?). Brazilian dolphins and fishermen who help each other snare their dinner. A crazy dynamic among trees, fungi and tree-munching beetles. But not remoras eating the parasites off shark skin, we already know about that one.

What Shows Will It Remind You Of? Super/Natural exists somewhere between the sensationalized animal-doc content of Absurd! Planet and Wild Babies and the more heavy-duty David Attenborough stuff like Our Planet and Planet Earth.

Our Take: Betcha never knew a tree could be friends with an ant. I don’t think they’re taking each other out for drinks on their respective birthdays, but it is a mutually beneficial, symbiotic relationship that inspires a wow or two and lifts Super/Natural above the usual let’s-watch-a-nutty-exotic-bird-dance and hey-look-at-that-scary-shark nature documentaries. The popularity of animal-based nonfiction TV inevitably results in derivative fodder, but when something like this comes along and shows us something new and amazing, it speaks volumes about the world we live in. It’s always full of new things to discover – and it has no shortage of exquisitely skilled photographers who painstakingly capture it with stunning beauty.

Whether subsequent episodes – about evolutionary adaptations, predator-prey dynamics, mating rituals (no nature series worth its salt skips over wacky mating rituals) and more – are as fascinating as the first remains to be seen. But if nothing else, the visuals are gorgeous and Cumberbatch, although he’s no Attenborough (there’ll never be another Attenborough after this one, I’m afraid), meets expectations by bringing the necessary, very British balance of whimsy and gravitas to the proceedings. If nothing else, it offers a welcome respite from all the hysterical megapredator stuff clogging streamer menus."

#Best review Decider has given a Cumberbatch project yet

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creylune · 7 years ago

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Hey so since school is starting up again and a lot of people I know are going to college for the first time, I wanted to compile some advice/info I’ve learned from my first year. There are a lot of tips about general things but I haven’t seen much about how college can really deal a blow to confidence, social skills, and mental health. Some of the stuff is under the cut since this got long.

Loneliness is pretty common in college. It doesn't seem like that because everyone keeps a facade up for social media to make it look like they're constantly having a good time with friends. It's easy to think that maybe you're missing out on something, or something's wrong with you if you aren't having a blast and going out on weekends with a big group of happy friends--after all, that's what all your facebook friends are doing right? In reality, what you see on social media is just the highlights of people's lives; you're not seeing any of their lows or stressful times. You aren't alone if you feel lonely or stressed because you aren't living a perfect social life.

Chances are, you're not going to find a close group of friends immediately. In fact, it might take a while to establish a solid friendgroup--don't expect that you're going to find a ride or die/tight-knit "squad" right off the bat.

Sometimes you won't even form a friend group by the end of freshman year and that's ok. It's hard to make friends when you're placed in an unfamiliar situation surrounded by people who are suddenly very different from you (esp. if you don't stay local or school demographics are very different from high school); but don't lose hope. There's at least one or two people at your college/uni who will get along really well with you and become good, if not close friends. For some it may not take long to find them, but for me it took 4.5 months before I found someone other than my roommate I could really feel comfortable with and whose company I enjoyed.

As tempting as it might sound to spend the entire weekend chilling in your dorm/room, it can be really helpful to go out, even to a cafe, library, or any place with people. I'm an introvert who enjoys her own company but I started feeling like shit after a few weeks of not getting enough exposure to other people. You need social interaction at some point to survive.

If you find yourself thinking "I have no real friends" (which to be honest, might happen at some point), think about any people you've met who have been genuinely warm and welcoming to you. Even if it's a professor, that cashier at the cafeteria, a library worker, your major advisor, the lady working in the career center. Reach out to them and ask if they want to grab lunch or coffee together. It's so, so tempting to wallow in self-pity and quit trying to befriend people but you can't give up. If someone's reached out to you before and you declined their invitation, now's the time to take them up on that offer. There are people who/will care about you, but like any relationship, you have to try too. When I was feeling my peak suicidal (and spent a day crying in my room reading reddit threads about how lonely someone was in college), I messaged a hallmate asking to eat lunch together the next day. Lunch was a little awkward since it was a big group at a circular table, but that's how I met my closest friend on campus (we send pics and videos of cats to each other on discord regularly).

Try to find a relative routine that works for you. For me, I figured one out by spring quarter: go to morning class, spend half an hour eating breakfast and getting some work done in the cafeteria/student center, go back to my room, get lunch and work at the cafeteria/chat with my friend, go to afternoon class, head to Starbucks or back to the dorm for the rest of the day. Social interaction tires me out so just that little exposure to people in the cafeteria/briefly chatting with my friend kept me going for the day.

Exercise is important, whether you like it or not. Wearing down your physical health doesn't help if you're not in a good mental place, so try to utilize your campus gym if there is one. If gyms are intimidating, you can go later at night when there are fewer people, or do some situps/pushups/squats/jumping jacks in your room. Getting your blood moving a little can go a long way in making you feel less shitty. Diet also goes hand in hand with this--if all you’re consuming is coffee and instant ramen, you’re gonna feel worse. At the very least, if you can, take some baby steps: get your hands on an easy-to-open can of corn, cereal, frozen edamame, grapes, baby carrots, nuts, beef jerky, applesauce. It’s better than chips and ice cream.

Most college tips recommend joining a club or two, and I definitely agree. Club participation can REALLY help in giving you some purpose/responsibility (esp. if you're an officer) and a network of acquaintances, if not friends. However, sometimes going to club meetings can actually make you feel worse than if you hadn't gone at all. During my first week I went to a joint club event with my roommate and all the people I struck up conversations with were obviously not interested in doing any more than small talk (they went back to talking to someone they deemed more interesting). It's not a guaranteed, but be aware that stuff like this can happen, even in the classroom. Some people won't be interested in you because they're looking for certain kinds of people and that's ok. They probably aren't worth your time either. You can't entirely give up introducing yourself to strangers though because 1 out of those 15 or even 30 people is going to be a pretty good friend, or at least someone you like/who likes you.

This doesn't work for everyone, but reaching out for professional help can really help. It took me a good 2-3 months to bring myself to call the campus counseling services for an appointment, (I hate phone calls with my life) but I can't stress how much talking to a person face-to-face about my feelings helped relieve a burden. Even if it's just a peer, I find talking to someone irl about how you're feeling more beneficial than only chatting or tweeting online. Bottling up your emotions can be so detrimental.

Even if you like your major, taking a class outside of it/within your interests can help so much in keeping you sane. Plus, it can help you meet different kinds of people with different experiences from you and broaden your perspective on things. I took an art class that helped me unwind twice a week and I met a handful of my current good friends from it since we bonded over similar interests.

Homesickness is going to happen. And it's gonna hit harder than you might expect, but you can and will make it through it. If you had a close friend in high school, call them or videocall with them instead of only texting or messaging. Even videocalling a close mutual works too, or family members if you miss them. Talking "in person" with someone important to you can help so much.

The main takeaway is this: different aspects of college aren't going to meet your expectations, especially if you're like me and spent 6 years idealizing college and the ~freedom and thrills~ it would bring. Optimism is crucial in life, but know that not everything is going to go as you might want.

#college #college advice #college tips #mental health #pufftext #long post ............... a bit #I'M SORRY MY BLOG FORMAT SQUEEZES ALL THE BULLET POINTS TOGETHER...

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gallirae · 7 years ago

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Baths or showers? Together or separate? Any bubbles or bubble fights?Can they stand silence? Who talks the most? Who talks the least?Who stays up late? Who sleeps the most? Does the other have to force them to sleep/wake up?

I am assuming like an AU where they’re ruling the galaxy/First Order together for all this.1) Baths or showers is a point of absolute polarized disagreement between them. Rae Sloane is canonically a cold shower person and you can’t convince me that Gallius Rax is anything but a hot bath person. It may even be to the extent that they have a fancy bathroom with a shower AND a bath, and they use those separately. But maybe at the same time. So they can argue hold conversations while cleaning themselves. But it’s a bit of a game for Rax to see if he can coax Sloane out of her shower into the bath (every so often it does go his way). Also they might compromise on swimming together in like a lukewarm pool because that’s good exercise.

2) Can they stand silence & how much do each talk? I am actually going to reverse expectations here and say that when they’re in a relationship Sloane prefers when they’re talking and Rax really likes the quiet moments. Sloane isn’t super chatty and she often likes quiet solitude, but when they’re talking it will often be about something (ie. ways to effectively rule the galaxy) and that’s a comfortable norm. Also uhh I headcanon Rax’s voice is particularly attractive and Sloane is just. Well. Into that. The stuff that comes out of his mouth drives her crazy because he’s pretty crazy but his voice itself is kind of a turn-on. But Rax really enjoys when they’re quietly chilling together because it feels like Trust and that’s pretty magical. In this AU obviously he’s better at earning that trust.

3) Who stays up late? Who sleeps the most? Rax for both. He gets hooked on watching some Thing (opera duh) and stays up all night and then sleeps for two days straight and his schedule is just terrible overall. Or sometimes he can’t sleep and is awake at Space 3 AM and full of manic energy. And Sloane stays up late occasionally when she’s deep into some research but otherwise she has a regular schedule.

She doesn’t really mind him sleeping late because his duties in ruling the galaxy are sort of intermittent. He’s like an on-call consultant and Sloane likes being the one who handles the routine stuff. But if he’s pacing around the room at Space 3 AM then Sloane either (normal/bad mood) tells him to go haunt somewhere else If You Don’t Mind or (good mood) coaxes him back to use that excess energy on something, ahem, mutually beneficial.

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arplis · 5 years ago

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Arplis - News: Your Comprehensive Guide to Online Dating Slang

Internet Dating Slang Terms You Need to Know in 2020

Though we're still meeting in bars and going to see movies together, dating today would be largely unrecognizable to people 10 years ago; changes in how we find our dates, how we treat them and how we describe ourselves to them have radically altered the dating landscape.

To many, modern dating can seem like a minefield of technical jargon; the phrase "My poly pansexual situationship ghosted me so I'm breadcrumbing this snack I had a half-night stand with last year, will you be my emergency call if he wants to Netflix & chill?" will be clear as day to some and unintelligible to others.

RELATED:All the Sex Slang You Need to Know

If you find yourself in the latter category, this gigantic glossary of 61dating terms is for you.

AROMANTIC

Identity / Celibacy

Pronunciation: ay-ro-MAN-tick

Aromanticism is pretty rare, but it is real: A certain portion of the population does not experience the feelings of romantic love that seem to come naturally for so many of us. While that might seem like either a blessing or a curse, depending on your take on love, perhaps the most significant hurdle for aromantic people is simply feeling left out and misunderstood by a culture for whom dating, love and marriage are not only the norm, but the de facto expectation for all.

Etymology: The "a-" prefix roughly translates to "without;" "romantic," here, means capable of having feelings of romantic love

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I just can't... fall in love." "You're not broken maybe you're just aromantic!"

ASEXUAL

aka Ace

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: ay-SEK-shoo-UL

Being asexual doesn't specify whom you're attracted to, unlike other terms on this list. It specifies you don't experience sexual attraction. But this doesn't mean you can't have sex only that you don't feel the need in the same way. Dating an ace person? Expect to check in regularly with them re: their desires and boundaries just as you would when dating anybody else.

Etymology: Knowing that "a-" means "without," I'm sure I don't need to tell you what "sexual" means.

"Patrick, are you dating Scott? I thought he was asexual, not gay." "Scott's asexual and likes boys! It ain't mutually exclusive."

BENCHING

Graeme Adams

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: BENCH-ing

Benching is when you're not into someone enough to commit to officially dating them, but you don't want them to move on and find someone else either, so you string them along juuuust enough to keep them waiting on the sidelines for you.

Etymology: You know when you're on a sports team but not actually playing, just waiting on the bench until the coach needs you? Yeah, it's the dating version of that.

"Rachel only ever seems to text me after I've given up on hearing from her. She's definitely benching me."

BIG DICK ENERGY

Dating / Identity

Pronunciation: BIG dick EH-nur-JEE

Big dick energy, or BDE, is something only a small amount of people possess. Its the quality of having supreme confidence without needing to be loud or controlling, a quiet understanding of who you are and what you bring to the table that doesnt require backtalk, bragging, or B.S. In short, someone with big dick energy is incredibly hot, and more guys should try to emulate that. The truth is, you can have BDE no matter what your penis size is as long as youre comfortable with who you are.

Etymology: The phrase was coined by Twitter user @imbobswaget in a tweet mourning the June 2018 death of TV personality and chef Anthony Bourdain. It implies that a person (or thing) exudes the confidence that must come with having a large penis and Bourdain's kindness, charm and humble swagger were just that.

Damn, look at that guy over there. Hes totally exuding big dick energy.

BISEXUAL

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: by-SEK-shoo-ULL

Bisexual persons are attracted to two genders. In the nineties, we'd have said "bisexual persons are into men and women", but we know a little more about sex and gender than we used to. Swinging both ways, flexible, cross-platform compatible, or rooting for both teams, a bisexual person can enjoy sex with or fall in love with the same gender as themselves, or a different gender from themselves. Bi people might prefer dating one gender and sleeping with another, but we still call 'em bi.

Etymology: A bisexual person is like a bicycle; both share the prefix bi, which means two.

"Mike, why do you call yourself bisexual? You've only ever dated women." "That's true, but I just haven't met a guy I wanted to call my boyfriend yet."

BREADCRUMBING

Graeme Adams

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: BREAD-crum-ing

Breadcrumbing is when you send flirty but non-committal messages to a person when you're not really interested in dating them but don't have the guts to break things off with them completely. The breadcrumbee is strung along for the sake of sparing the breadcrumber a confrontation.

Etymology: Think of the phenomenon of getting a small creature to follow you by laying a trail of breadcrumbs here, and you've got the right idea.

"Rene replies to every second or third message I send her but never wants to meet IRL. I think she's breadcrumbing me."

CASUAL RELATIONSHIP

Dating / Type

Pronunciation: KAZH-oo-ull ruh-LAY-shun-ship

Somewhere in between f*ckbuddies and going steady is the casual relationship, in which two people typically hang out regularly and have sex but don't partake in the hallmarks of a serious relationship, like exclusivity, ongoing commitment and spending time with each other's friends and family.

Etymology: This one's pretty straightforward in meaning: it's a romantic relationship that's not too serious or committed.

"I have a friends with benefits type thing going on with Emily, you know? It's a casual relationship."

CATFISHING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: KAT-fish-ing

Catfishing is one of those dating terms that has legitimately made its way into the mainstream, thanks to the TV show and movie of the same name. Messaging with someone who's pretending to be someone else? You're being catfished! These setups tend to end badly. But until then, move your conversation with your crush to the phone/IRL/video chat of some sort as soon as you can muster. If they're resistant, they might be catfishing you.

Etymology: The term gained popularity after the release of the 2010 documentary on the then-burgeoning phenomenon, Catfish, but the real reason for the name is harder to come by.

"She always has a different excuse not to meet up with me." "Sounds you're being catfished..."

CISGENDER

aka Cis

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: siss-JENN-der

Cisgender is a term for people who aren't transgender, or whose assigned gender lines up with their actual gender. But isn't that 'normal', you might ask? Actually, it isn't, it's just more common: variations in sex and sexuality are perfectly normal and occur frequently in nature (gender is a little more complicated, as we don't have a theory of mind that encompasses gender for nonhuman animals). While cisgender persons may outnumber transgender persons, it isn't a default setting; it's one of many.

Etymology: From cis-, meaning literally 'on this side of' in mathematics and organic chemistry.

"So what's the opposite of trans, then? Normal?" "Well, no, it's not that simple. But the term you're looking for is 'cis'."

CUFFING SEASON

Dating / Type

Pronunciation: KUFF-ing SEE-zun

Cuffing season is the period between early fall and late winter when everyone starts to shack up with the nearest half-decent single person to ward off loneliness and cold during the cooler months. Cuffing season typically implied a short term, mutually beneficial arrangement that's strictly seasonal, and it ends as soon as the leaves start turning green again. The term is African American Vernacular English (AAVE) and has been around at least since the early 2010s.

Etymology: Cuffing, as in "handcuffing", because you're chaining yourself to someone else at least until winter's over.

"Starbucks just brought back the pumpkin spice latte, it must be cuffing season!"

CURVE

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: KURV

Getting curved is being rejected, shot down, turned aside, said no to, dissed and dismissed. Yes, it sucks. When you get curved you need to take a moment to properly absorb all of the "no" that just hit you. But there's also something beautiful to a well-done curve; it's a memento to a failure, big and small, that you can carry around with you and use to prop up or tear down narratives about your dateability.

Etymology: A curve is often subtler than a flat-out no (think: Your text gets "Seen" but not responded to), so even if it hurts the same, it carries a name that implies a redirection rather than an outright rejection.

"I tried to ask out this babe at the bar last night and she curved me harder than I've ever been curved in my life."

CUSHIONING

Graeme Adams

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: KUSH-on-ing

As above, cushioning is the process of staying in contact with one or more romantic prospects as a backup in case things don't go smoothly with your main squeeze. The "cushions" are usually kept on the periphery, eg. texting rather than full blown cheating.

Etymology: Cushioning, as in, keeping a person or several people around to "cushion" the blow if your main relationship doesn't work out.

"I do really like Priya, but I'm still texting Sian just in case. Yeah, I guess I'm cushioning."

DADDY

Dating / Identity

Pronunciation: DAH-dee

Over the past few years, daddy culture has risen to become pretty mainstream. These days, its normal for teens and assorted millennials to use the word daddy in either a sexual or sex-adjacent context. You might call your partner daddy in bed, or you might acknowledge a hot older mans daddy vibes because of his muscles, body hair, facial hair, and personal wealth. Either way, yes, its low-key incestuous, but the people have spoken.

Etymology: From the word daddy, meaning father.

She keeps on texting me, choke me daddy. What the hell does that mean?

DEMISEXUAL

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: DEH-mee-SEK-shoo-ULL

A demisexual is a person whose sex drive is tied not to an immediate visual or physical attraction but to people's personalities once they've gotten to know them. As a result, demisexuals are poor candidates for one-night stands and casual relationships which may make them feel a bit alienated in our current dating climate. But they're no more or less capable of deep, loving relationships as the rest of us, so if you're prepared to take things slow sexually, demisexuals can make for great partners, too.

Etymology: Demi means half, or part positioning demisexuals between asexuals and people who do typically experience sexual desire.

"At first I thought I was asexual, but then I realized I can have sexual desire for people... just not until I really know them!" "Sounds like you might be demisexual."

DM SLIDE

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: DEE-em slide

A DM slide is when you direct message your crush using the private messaging functions available on all of the major social media networks, eg. Twitter and Instagram. You usually need to be mutuals first ie. follow each other to avoid your message ending up in an "other" folder, and DM sliding tends to occur after some public interaction, eg. liking each other's pics or @ replying.

Etymology: DM stands for "direct messages", and "sliding" is the process of entering someone's direct messages to flirt with them.

"Brandy just posted a selfie and she's looking hot AF! I'm about to slide in the DMs."

DTR CONVERSATION

aka DTR, DTR Convo

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: dee-tee-ARE con-ver-SAY-shun

A DTR conversation is a pivotal moment in a relationship: It's the moment you discuss what you are. Are you a for-real couple, or just friends with benefits, or a situationship? Timing is huge, here. Have your DTR too early and you risk scaring the other person away; too late and you might discover they've been casually dating around the whole time, assuming it wasn't serious.

Etymology: There's no great mystery here DTR simply stands for "define the relationship."

"It's been six months and I just don't know what we are yet?" "Well have you had a DTR convo with him?

EGGPLANT EMOJI

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: EGG-plant ee-MO-ji

There are other sex emojis the peach (a luscious butt) and the water drops (either wetness or ejaculate, depending on your tastes), notably but the eggplant emoji is doubtless the most suggestive. Why? Well, peach and water drops are actually used in other contexts. But when was the last time you needed to use a damn eggplant emoji to signify eggplant?

Etymology: People just noticed that the eggplant emoji was phallic-looking. The rest is history.

"Wow, did you see that bulge? Man, I'd love to see his eggplant emoji, if you know what I mean."

EMERGENCY CALL

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: eh-MUR-jun-see KOL

An emergency call is a fakeout that allows you to politely get out of a particularly bad date. If you can tell the night's going to be a trainwreck from the earliest moments (and you often can) but you're genuinely afraid of insulting the stranger you're sitting across from, a fake emergency call from a friend saying "Your brother's in the hospital" or "Your cat just died" early on in the evening can be a real lifesaver.

"Oh, God, thanks for agreeing to be my emergency call last night. What a nightmare date that was."

FIREDOORING

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: FIE-er DOH-ring

This is the dating version of the one-way fire door on rare occasions, someone will come out of their shell to contact you, but won't respond if you attempt to get in touch. It's a setup that only works in deeply unequal situations if you're getting firedoored, you're constantly feeling frustrated and only occasionally satisfied. If this is happening to you, get out and close the door behind you. There are tons of people out there who won't do this to you!

Etymology: A fire door is a one-way door it allows you to exit (on rare occasions) but never allows anyone to enter.

"She never responds to my messages, but texts me 'u up' at 1 a.m.? What's the deal?" "Sounds like you're getting firedoored, bud."

FRECKLING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: FRECK-uh-ling

Just as cooler temperatures bring out cuffing season and associated coupling up, warmer temperatures change peoples dating behaviors. If someone only seems interested in you during the warmer months, it might be a case of freckling. Maybe they got out of a relationship of sorts during the spring and now that its summertime, youre on their hookup roster. Unfortunately, theyre not looking for anything serious or permanent just like freckles, theyll disappear come fall.

Etymology: From freckles, small patches of facial skin that darken during the summer for some people with pale skin.

"Its been three weeks since school started and I havent heard anything I think she was just freckling me."

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS

aka FWB

Identity / Dating

Pronunciation: FRENDS with BEN-eh-fits

Friends with benefits is the relatively classy way of saying you know someone and care about them and are regularly engaging in sexual acts with them, but not within the context of a relationship. It implies a certain looseness of arrangement. You probably don't see each other as often as a real couple; don't tell each other all the details of your lives; don't put each other down on emergency contact forms (or mention each other on social media profiles). That doesn't mean you're cold, unfeeling robots; it just means a relationship isn't exactly what you want.

"So what are we? Is this a relationship? Or are we just friends?" "I think we're friends... with benefits."

F*CKBUDDIES

aka F*ckfriends

Identity / Dating

Pronunciation: FUK-buh-deez

Isn't that... basically friends with benefits? Yes, arguably, they're pretty similar. At the same time, though, the use of the F-word in one of the terms (compared to the very euphemistic "benefits" denotes a very different sexual ethos. One is classy, old world, and stuffy; the other is crass, lewd and very present. So, arguably, one is for the type of people who are ashamed of such a sexual arrangement, and one is for people who aren't. Or maybe how you describe your setup depends more on who's asking. Whatever works!

Etymology: F*ck means sex... buddies means friends... should be pretty straightforward.

"I met this great girl. We've been seeing each other a lot... just for sex, though, no dates. We're f*ckbuddies."

GAY

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: GAY

This term is one of the more flexible on the list, but, generally speaking, someone who identifies as gay is exclusively attracted to, or exclusively dates, or exclusively has sex with, people who are the same gender as themselves but it's a term that's been reclaimed by many across the spectrum of sexuality so if you see a queer woman proclaim she's gay despite dating men too, it's not necessarily the contradiction you think it is.

"Carol, would you like to grab coffee with me this weekend?" "Sure, Jim, but as friends. You do know I'm gay, right?"

GENDERFLUID

Identity / Gender

Pronunciation: JEN-der-FLOO-id

Can be applied to people who feel outside the gender binary, or it can be applied to persons who feel that their gender isn't fixed, but variable changing from day to day. Unlike nonbinary persons, a genderfluid person might identify as male and female, on different days, whereas a nonbinary person will usually identify as neither male nor female. Someone's gender identity has nothing to do with whom they're attracted to, or what they look like on the outside, or what physical sex they were born as. Gender is a mental conception of the self, so a genderfluid person can present as any gender or appearance, based on how that term feels for them.

Etymology: Gender, as in, your gender. Fluid, as in flowing, non-stable, movable, changeable.

"Hey, could you ask Scout if I could have her number? I need to ask her about this chem assignment." "Hey, buddy, I'll definitely ask for you, but you should know that Scout's not a 'she' they're genderfluid."

GHOSTING

Graeme Adams

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: GO-sting

Ghosting is when you disappear out of someone's life because you're no longer interested in them, instead of telling them directly. It's more abrupt than breadcrumbing: the ghoster will suddenly stop replying to texts and won't answer calls, and the ghostee is usually left hurt and confused.

Etymology: You know the disappearing act ghosts are known for? That, but it's your crush instead of a poltergeist.

"I'm not really feeling Melissa anymore, but she's really into me. I think I'm just gonna ghost her."

HALF-NIGHT STAND

Dating / Type

Pronunciation: HAFF nite STAND

The traditional one-night stand involves meeting a sexually-attractive stranger and taking them home for a night of unattached sex: they leave in the morning and you don't see them again. Well, the half-night stand cuts out the staying over part: the late night guest leaves straight after the sex is over.

Etymology: A half-night stand is 50 per cent of a one-night stand get it?

"Joe was lazy in bed and wouldn't give me head, so I got out of there as soon as he fell asleep. I guess I've had a half-night stand now!"

HAUNTING

aka Zombieing

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: HAWN-ting

Haunting occurs when you think you have finished things with a date that didn't work out or even a serious relationship but then you notice signs that your ex is lurking your social media feeds, eg. they randomly like old Instagram pics or watch your daily stories. Often the notifications are a deliberate attempt to remind you that they exist.

Etymology: This is another supernatural dating metaphor but the meaning is almost the opposite of ghosting: in this case the offender lingers around rather than disappearing.

"Guess who watched my Instagram story today, of all people!? John! He's haunting me, and it's really creepy."

INCEL

aka Virgin

Identity / Celibacy

Pronunciation: IN-sell

Incel is a term that became popular on Reddit to describe men who can't get laid. The term, as a descriptor, is doubly demeaning. Not only is no one attracted to incels, but they also have a stupid name to describe them. Most incel problems could be sorted out by putting in minimal effort into looking better and having more positive interactions with women, but that's none of our business. Incel's slightly less embarrassing cousin is volcel the voluntarily celibate.

Etymology: Incel is a portmanteau of the phrase "involuntarily celibate" someone who's sexually inactive but wishes they could be.

"Ugh, I haven't had sex in almost three years. I'm such an incel."

KITTENFISHING

Graeme Adams

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: KIT-in-FISH-ing

Coined by dating app Hinge, Kittenfishing is when you portray yourself in an unrealistically positive light in your online dating profiles. We all do this to some extent, but kittenfishing crosses the border into dishonest territory: think photoshopped or very outdated profile pics, or listing "lawyer" as your occupation when you're really a first year law student.

Etymology: You already know about catfishing, when a person pretends to be someone they're not online. Well, kittenfishing is the lite version of that.

"Remember that girl I was messaging on Tinder? Well, we met IRL, and she was definitely kittenfishing."

LEFT ON READ

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: LEFT awn RED or LEFT awn REED

You send a text to your crush and wait for their reply, giddy with excitement. Maybe youre asking them out on a date, or maybe youre just trying to start a conversation. Regardless, rather than a reply, you simply get a read receipt. Read at 2:39 p.m. Then nothing. If youre watching the convo like a hawk, you might get the indignity of seeing them start to type a reply and then give up. Its a demoralizing feeling to be left on read. Its also a good reason not to use read receipts.

Etymology: From the phrase read receipt, a notification visible in a chat or text window when a person has seen a message but not responded.

"Is he still leaving you on read? You need to get over him ASAP."

LOCKERING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: LAH-ker-ing

If youve ever experienced someone ditching you by claiming theyre studying when in fact theyre just not interested, what you felt was lockering. For high-school sweethearts starting college at separate schools, this could be a prelude to a Thanksgiving breakup, better known as a turkey dump. Since the main feature of lockering is the claim that nothings wrong, theyre just focusing on their studies, it could occur at any point during your time in school.

Etymology: From the word locker, a small, typically locked space for your personal belongings in a large public building such as a school.

"How come youre always studying and you never have time to catch up? Are you lockering me?"

LGBTQ

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: ELL-jee-bee-tee-CUE

LGBTQ stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (or questioning), and its an acronym that's used to include the whole of a bunch of different communities of people whose sexualities or gender identities place them outside of the mainstream both historically and today. Some incarnations of the term include groups like intersex people, asexuals; and often the final Q is omitted in popular discourse. Nevertheless, it's a useful term when you're trying to refer to several, often intersecting groups of people at once.

"I love all my LGBTQ friends!"

LOVE BOMBING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: LUV BOM-ing

Love bombing is when a new partner shows extreme amounts of affection early on and expends serious energy in a deliberate attempt to woo you. However, once you've committed to a relationship with them, the love bomber will withdraw all that affection and let their true, ugly colors shine through, leaving you stuck in a nightmare relationship. This one's really not cute: love bombing is manipulative and abusive.

Etymology: Like its literal counterpart, a love bomb is awesome and spectacular at first, but ultimately very destructive.

"Graeme was so sweet at first, but now he's manipulative and jealous all the time. I guess he love bombed me."

MICROCHEATING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: MY-cro-CHEA-ting

Microcheating is a form of infidelity that stops short of the full-blown, overt cheating that occurs when a person sleeps with someone else behind their partner's back, but is low-level, cumulative dishonesty and infidelity that is intolerable in a committed relationship. Think heavy flirting, tonnes of secrecy, furtive kissy-face emojis and emotional affairs.

Etymology: If you think of cheating behaviors as existing on a scale, these ones are on the more minor end.

"I've never caught Imogen sleeping with anyone else, but she's constantly flirting with other guys and texts everyone except me. In my opinion, she's microcheating."

NETFLIX AND CHILL

Graeme Adams

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: NET-flicks and CHILL

In its original inception, "Netflix and chill" was a euphemism for a stay-at-home date that led to sex pretty quickly. The idea being: You invite your crush over under the premise of "just watching some Netflix and chilling" and then either abandon the movie pretty early or perhaps never even get to it, as hooking up becomes the main attraction.

"How'd it go?" "Well, I invited him over for a little Netflix and chill... you can guess what happened next."

NON-BINARY

Identity / Gender

Pronunciation: non-BYE-nuh-ree

A non-binary person isn't cisgender, they are transgender. But not all transgender persons identify as the 'opposite' gender they were born as; in fact, many reject the idea that there are 'opposite' genders at all. A non-binary person may identify as neither male or female, or both male and female, or as a traditional gender to their culture (such as two-spirited or third gender). It's polite to use 'they' as a default pronoun until instructed otherwise if you're unsure about someone's gender. Never assume!

Etymology: The prefix non- is modifying the noun 'binary', nullifying the idea that gender exists as only two options.

"I thought Padraic was trans? Why doesn't Padraic want to be referred to as 'she'?" "Padraic is trans, but they're nonbinary, not femme!"

OPEN RELATIONSHIP

Dating / Type

Pronunciation: OH-pin ruh-LAY-shun-ship

An open relationship is a committed, romantic relationship that contains an arrangement where both parties can sleep with other people. It's not cheating, because both parties are honest with each other and have the same freedom to engage in sex with other people. Open relationships often contain specific rules and boundaries, just like monogamous relationships, but "no sex with anyone else, ever!" isn't one of them.

Etymology: The opposite of a traditional, "closed" relationship, an open relationship relaxes the rules on monogamy.

"I love Max, but I think we'd both benefit from a bit more sexual freedom. I'm thinking of asking him for an open relationship."

ORBITING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation:OR-bih-ting

Unlike with ghosting or zombieing (a term you'll find if you keep scrolling), theres no text, call or other form of communication that initiates anything. In this case, you'll see a notification, get your hopes up, but find they never actually reach out.Just rememeber: if someone really wants to date you, theyd probably make more of an effort than tapping on a like button.

Etymology: Just as the planets revolve around the sun with no direct interaction, this person checks all your social media accounts without ever saying a word.

"Hmm ... watches my Instagram story, likes my photos, reads my DMs, but doesn't respond. Yep, I'm being orbited."

PANSEXUAL

Graeme Adams

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: pan-SEK-shoo-ull

Some people, for whatever reason believe that the term bisexual doesn't apply to them. Maybe they're a woman who's attracted to women, men, and nonbinary people. Or maybe they feel like their sexuality is too fluid for a simpler label. Some people have adopted pansexual because it doesn't reinforce the gender binary through its name.

Etymology: Pan-, meaning all; someone who is attracted to all persons and genders.

"So are you still bisexual?" "Well, ever since my partner transitioned I feel like the word 'pansexual' suits me better, you know?"

PHUBBING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: FUH-bing

Ever been hanging out with a date or significant other only to notice theyre paying too much attention to their phone? Thats a case of phubbing. Its a pretty ugly word, but honestly, its a pretty ugly act. With people using technology to stay in constant connection to their friends and followers, it can be easy to forget about the person right in front of you. A consistent phubber is sending a message, intentionally or otherwise, that youre simply not the top priority, their phone is.

Etymology: A combination of phone and snubbing.

"Man, every time me and Mark hang out, hes always on Instagram when Im talking to him. I feel so phubbed."

PIE HUNTING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: PIE HUNT-ing

As you can probably deduce, pie hunting is an unsavory dating phenomenon in which a person (the "hunter") deliberately dates "pies", or heartbroken, vulnerable people with messy dating histories, who are perceived to be easier and lower-maintenance.

Etymology: A "pie" is a person with a disastrous dating history familiar with rejection and heartbreak. It comes from "pied off", British slang for being stood up or dumped.

"Dave only ever dates divorcees. He's a real pie-hunter."

POLYAMOROUS

aka Poly

Identity / Dating

Pronunciation: paw-lee-AM-oh-riss

In its various forms, polyamory has been a part of human culture for millennia, particularly in the form of polygamous marriages, but it's enjoying a resurgence in modern dating culture as millennials (children of divorce faced with untold levels of choice) break with monogamous tradition and begin exploring their options. It's not a free-for-all there are still rules, and cheating does exist but consensually dating (and loving) multiple people at once could represent the future of dating.

Etymology: Polyamorous comes from the Greek poly (many) and amor (love), meaning many loves.

"To be honest, Camille and I are thinking of experimenting with being polyamorous."

QUEER

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: KWEER

The word has been reclaimed by those communities as a positive term. 'Queer' is often treated as the 'umbrella' term under which gay men, pansexual non-binary persons, and people experimenting with their sexuality can come together under. It's a term of solidarity to foster community between sexuality-and-gender-diverse persons. Queer is one of the more amorphous terms on this list, and is used by queer persons to describe themselves. So what does it mean? Basically, 'not straight', in any flavor you like, and usually with a slightly more radical edge.

Etymology: Originally meaning 'strange', 'queer' was used for years as a slur against non-normative sexualities.

"Not gay as in happy, but queer as in 'screw off.'"

REDPILL

Identity / Celibacy

Pronunciation: RED-pill

If you decide, once and for all, that women are bad and society is set up in such a way to privilege them over men at every turn, you're completely off your rocker but you've also had a redpill moment. You'll probably want to head to Reddit and swap stories with other incels and MGTOWs about how women are ruining your lives.

Etymology: Redpilling is named for the scene in The Matrix when Morpheus offers Neo the choice between taking a red pill and a blue pill with the red one representing the horrifying truth and the blue, blissful ignorance.

"Yeah, my brother totally got redpilled in his first year at college. Yikes."

ROACHING

Graeme Adams

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: ROW-ching

Roaching is a new dating trend where people hide the fact that they're dating around from a new partner and, when confronted, claim to have simply been under the assumption that there was no implication of monogamy to begin with. In today's more poly-friendly dating culture, this is a slick tactic to shift the blame to the person confronting them, but the truth is it's both parties' responsibility to be at least baseline open about seeing other people if that's the case. Roaching, as a result, deeply messed up.

Etymology: Roaching refers to the adage that if you see one cockroach, there are a ton more that you don't see just like this person's sneaky side-dealings.

"So it turned out he'd been seeing like, six other girls the whole time!" "Damn, Tina. You got roached."

SAPIOSEXUAL

Identity / Dating

Pronunciation: SAY-pee-oh-SEK-shoo-ull

Perhaps most infamous for the time Tinder CEO Sean Rad confused it with the word "sodomy," sapiosexual is a word that's gained increasing currency in recent years. Meaning someone who's turned on by a person's mind rather than physical appearance, it's a neat marriage of style and substance, as only huge nerds would dare self-identify as sapiosexuals. Not to be confused with any of the other sexualities, this isn't a clinical definition of an innate quality, merely a descriptor meant to state a preference.

Etymology: The "sapio" part comes from the Latin word "sapiens," which means "mind."

"What really entices me about a woman... is her mind. Yes, you could call me a sapiosexual."

SEVERAL-NIGHT STAND

Sex / Trend

Pronunciation: SEV-rull NITE STAND

If the one-night stand was a product of the 20th century's loosening sexual mores, the several-night stand is a distinctly 21st-century invention. For people who care about someone else enough to sleep with them multiple times but not enough to take it past that, it's an arrangement that necessitates the hyper-connectedness and smorgasbrd of choice that our phones now offer us. Your drunken hookup is just a text away; but exclusivity seems foolish when your next drunken hookup might also be just a text away.

"Well, we kept on texting each other 'u up' every evening and it basically turned into a several-night stand."

SEX INTERVIEW

Sex / Trend

Pronunciation: SECKS INN-tur-vyou

Have you ever had sex with someone before going on a real date with them? Then you've engaged in a sex interview, my friend! Sex researchers (yes, that's a real job) coined the term in 2015 to describe the practice, which is increasingly popular among millennials who are less shy about sex and more interested in weeding out incompatible lovers than so-so conversationalists. If you have high standards for sex, it makes a lot of sense the possibility of developing real intimacy and chemistry with someone only to discover you're nothing alike in bed is a real turn-off of its own.

"So what's the deal with you and Brandon? Is that happening?" "Nah. He's still messaging me, but to be honest, he failed his sex interview."

SITUATIONSHIP

Dating / Type

Pronunciation: SIT-chew-AY-shun-ship

In use on Black Twitter since at least 2014, a "situationship" is Facebook's "It's Complicated" relationship status come to life. Similar to a casual relationship, a situationship is a sexual relationship that stops short of constituting a serious relationship, but it's not nothing either.

Etymology: It's not a friendship, or a relationship, but something in between: it's a situationship.

"So what's the deal with you and Molly now? Are you together?" "I don't know, man. It's a situationship."

SLOW FADE

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: SLOW fade

The slow fade is the process of ending a lackluster relationship or fling by gradually reducing contact and response times. Like a smoother version of breadcrumbing, the person doing the fading will taper off contact, like gradually turning down the volume on a song and starting a new one without anyone noticing.

Etymology: Similar to breadcrumbing, the slow fade is letting someone down gently without actually saying so.

"I want to end things with Lee, but I can't stand the idea of hurting him. I think I'm gonna do the slow fade."

SNACK

Identity / Dating

Pronunciation: SNAK

A snack is a babe, a honey, a stunner, a smokeshow, a jaw-dropping vision. A snack inspires DM slides and thirsty texts. A snack is a powerful force in the universe whose mere presence can cause those in proximity to them to lose their minds entirely. In short, a snack is someone so attractive, you almost want to eat them right up. Of course, some snacks are SO attractive, you have to call them a full meal. Because let's be real, Beyonc is more than a handful of tortilla chips.

"God damn, did you see that babe who just walked by?" "Yeah, man, that girl was a snack!"

STASHING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: STA-shing

"Stashing" is when a person won't introduce the person they're seeing to anyone in their lives, and doesn't mention their existence on social media. The "stashed" partner is kept hidden from view and stashing is a classic move of the commitment-averse.

Etymology: Stashing a partner is hiding them away from public view, like a squirrel stashing nuts in a tree.

"Maria won't introduce me to any of her friends or family. I think I'm being stashed."

STEALTHING

Sex / Trend

Pronunciation: STELL-thing

With all the cute names, it's easy to forget sometimes that not all dating trends are created equal. Take stealthing, for example, which is just a form of sexual assault. Named for when guys surreptitiously remove a condom mid-sexual act, enabling them to finish the deed unprotected, stealthing is a horrifying reminder that consent and sexual health education are woefully lacking in modern society.

Etymology:Stealthing is necessarily a sneaky move, since it involvesremoving the condom and keeping it a secret.

"When we started, he was wearing a condom, but halfway through I realized he wasn't!" "Oh my God, he stealthed you?

STRAIGHT

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: STRATE

Straight persons are attracted to, date, or have sex with only members of the 'opposite' gender. Some people might have crushes on the same gender as themselves, but never follow through, and still identify as straight. Sexuality is wild, man!

Etymology: Straight means heterosexual, mostly.

"I'm flattered you'd think to ask me out, Zander, but I'm straight."

SUBMARINING

Graeme Adams

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: sub-muh-REE-ning

Did you just get haunted, or zombied, but it felt even worse than usual? Maybe you were submarined! Submarining is when your old flame pops back up in your life after a lengthy period of silence, but rather than copping to the disappearance, simply acts as if dipping without warning is normal behavior. This person knows they have you wrapped around their finger, so why put in the effort to apologize or explain? They don't need to! If you're getting submarined, pro tip: Get out of there before the whole thing sinks.

Etymology: Submarines go underwater... and the occasionally pop back up to the surface! That's normal behavior for them.

"So after disappearing for two months, she just pops right back up!" "Damn... she submarined you!

SUMMER FLING

Dating / Type

Pronunciation: SUM-mer FLING

The counterpart to cuffing season, summer flings are casual relationships that end once the leaves start to turn brown again. Summer flings often start on vacations and end when the other person has to go home, and tend to be of the "short and sweet" variety.

Etymology: This one's not rocket science: a summer fling is a short, informal relationship over the warmer months.

"I had such a good time with Nicole in Cabo but it was definitely just a summer fling."

SWINGER

Identity / Dating

Pronunciation: SWING-ur

The de facto term for consensually sleeping with someone outside of your marriage while your partner does the same, swinging has lost some cultural currency in recent years as millennials opt for the "poly" lifestyle instead. Still, swinging is alive and well for Gen Xers taking advantage of increasingly liberal sexual mores as society shifts slowly away from the restrictive confines of absolute monogamy and towards something a little bit more flexible.

Etymology: Swingers are people who 'swing' from one sexual partnership (their spouse) to another.

"Yeah, this married couple asked us if we wanted to come to a swingers party with them."'

SWIPING

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: SWHY-ping

Swiping, swiping, swiping. For some singles, it might be difficult to conceive of any other way, but it's worth remembering that swiping didn't even really exist before 2012. Unless you've been living under a rock (and if so: congratulations, you lucky duck), you'll know that swiping is the physical interaction you have with your phone (a single finger moves intentionally across a thin piece of glass covering an electronic brain) when deciding whether you're attracted to someone's profile picture or not. From Tinder it spread to Bumble and a few thousand copycat apps. It'll be replaced eventually, but until then, swiping is how we as a culture perform love or at least our aspirations thereto.

"No plans tonight... I'm just going to stay home, re-download Tinder and swipe myself silly."

TEXTLATIONSHIP

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: text-LAY-shun-ship

A textlationship is a flirtatious connection between two people that works on paper but never seems to manifest itself in practice. For whatever reason, the chemistry between two people is just better over texts. It could mean one of the two is playing the other just for the attention, rather than both parties being shy or awkward. Regardless, if the passion is there in the texts but never translates to the streets or the sheets, its a textlationship.

Etymology: A combination of text and relationship.

"Shes always texting me but never wants to actually go on a date or hook up. Honestly, we might just be in a textlationship."

THIRST TRAP

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: THURST trap

In the natural world, spiders have webs, and millennials have thirst traps. They're intentionally sexually provocative pictures posted on social media in order to ensnare hapless scrollers-by. Often, such pictures will draw way more likes than their typical posts, as thirsty people rush to offer their likes as sacrifices to an uncaring god. These can be a great ego boost for the thirst trapper, but the high tends not to last. Then you're back on the timeline, thirst trapping again for your next fix.

Etymology: Thirst is desire, sexual or romantic, that tends to be unreturned; a trap is how you catch unsuspecting victims.

"Damn, did you see Sheila's selfie last night? That outfit was wild!" "Yep, that was a real thirst trap."

THRONING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: thr-OWN-ing

Throning is essentially another form of gold digging that extends beyond wealth. It involves someone using another person for their power and social status, and it's most common when one person in the relationship has significantly less money or influence than their counterpart.

Etymology: When you think of a throne, you think of a crown. That person doing the throning wants that crown.

"Every time we cross that rope, we get inside and suddenly it's like I'm not even there. I feel like I'm just being throned."

TINDSTAGRAMMING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: TIND-stuh-gram-ming

Tindstagramming is the process of contacting someone through Instagram's direct messaging feature after you have seen them on Tinder but not become a match. It's an annoying and generally poorly-received way of bypassing a left-swipe, and women in particular get fatigued by the messages that pile up in their "Other" folder when they link their Instagram account to their Tinder profile.

Etymology: A mashup of "Tinder" and "Instagramming," Tindstagrammers try to make the most of both platforms.

"I have 10 new messages in my Other folder on Instagram! These Tindstagrammers won't leave me alone."

TRANSGENDER

Identity / Gender

Pronunciation: trans-JEN-der

At birth, (even before, if you've ever been to a gender reveal party), pretty much all of us are assigned a gender, whether by our doctor, our parents, or society. Transgender or trans persons are those whose actual gender is different from the one they were assigned. Some trans people undergo surgery or take hormones to have their sex characteristics better match their gender, but not everyone does! Transgender, or trans, like queer is often an umbrella for those with diverse genders.

Etymology: Trans-, meaning across or beyond, plus gender

"So I hear Paul's cousin is transgendered now." "Actually, she's just transgender no 'ed' necessary!"

TURKEY DUMP

Dating / Type

Pronunciation: TUR-key DUMP

Another seasonal relationship event, turkey dumping is common among college students, many of whom are in long distance relationships with people they knew in high school or from their home towns. The turkey dump happens after one person in the relationship returns back to college after Thanksgiving and realises it's too difficult to keep things going.

Etymology: So-named because it's a breakup that occurs after the Thanksgiving break.

"I had such a good time with Jake while he was home for Thanksgiving, but he broke up with me as soon as he got back to campus. I got turkey dumped."

UNCUFFING SEASON

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: un-CUFF-ing SEE-sun

What sets cuffing season relationships apart from real relationships is the possibility that they came together at a specific time for a specific reason. You could link up with someone in the fall, because as it gets cold, you want something steady and dependable so you arent chasing a bunch of different people all winter. As a corollary, once those conditions fall away, it makes sense that the relationships would, too. The springtime can be considered uncuffing season because its the time for people to break things off with a semi-serious cuff and venture out into a sexy and flirtatious summer.

Etymology: A variant on cuffing season.

"Man, how many couples have broken up in the past few weeks? Is it uncuffing season already?"

VULTURING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: vul-CHUR-ing

Vultures can sense when a relationship is on its last leg. Their moves are selfish, and typically, they're going to do whatever they deem necessary to get what they want: you. Sure, having a bit of hope that your longtime crush will split from their wretched partner and fall for you might not be considered vulturing per se, but taking advantage of. someone in an incredibly weak and vulnerable state? That's a whole other story.

Etymology: Just like a vulture circling its wounded prey, some people swoop in to pick up the pieces out when they sense a relationship is on its last leg.

"Stop vulturing, it's just a rough patch. They'll get through it!"

WATER DROPLETS EMOJI

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: WAH-turr DROP-lits ee-MO-ji

After the eggplant emoji, the water droplets emoji might be the horniest one out there. One notable benefit is that its unisex. Depending on who you are and who youre messaging, the droplets could be semen, female lubrication/ejaculate, or a bit of the comparatively tame (and universal) sex sweat. Regardless, throwing a couple of these into a naughty text message is a good way to visually convey the activities to come if you will.

Etymology: Anyone whos ever made a mess with their sexual fluids will understand.

Cant wait for later tonight. Im gonna make you water droplets emoji all over the place.

ZOMBIEING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: zom-BEE-ing

This is ghosting to. the next level. After losing touch with someone who you'd been talking or seeing, zombieing is when they make a triumphant return as if nothing ever happened.Your zombie may get in touch with you via DM, text or by seeking you out in person. Hearing from someone who totally dipped out on you can bring up some conflicting feelings, but if youre looking for a positive, the situation does have the potential to offer some clarity or closure.

Etymology:A zombie is an undead person coming back from the grave. Need we say more here?

3 months of radio silence after we texted every single day. I can't believe he's zombieing me ... should I answer?

All illustrations by Graeme Adams.

Arplis - News source https://arplis.com/blogs/news/your-comprehensive-guide-to-online-dating-slang

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brokerplanet10-blog · 6 years ago

Text

Your Comprehensive Guide To Online Dating Slang

If you find yourself in the latter category, this gigantic glossary of 57 dating terms is for you.

AROMANTIC

Identity / Celibacy

Pronunciation: ay-ro-MAN-tick

Etymology: The "a-" prefix roughly translates to "without;" "romantic," here, means capable of having feelings of romantic love

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I just can't... fall in love." "You're not broken — maybe you're just aromantic!"

ASEXUAL

aka Ace

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: ay-SEK-shoo-UL

Being asexual doesn't specify whom you're attracted to, unlike other terms on this list. It specifies you don't experience sexual attraction. But this doesn't mean you can't have sex — only that you don't feel the need in the same way. Dating an ace person? Expect to check in regularly with them re: their desires and boundaries — just as you would when dating anybody else.

Etymology: Knowing that "a-" means "without," I'm sure I don't need to tell you what "sexual" means.

"Patrick, are you dating Scott? I thought he was asexual, not gay." "Scott's asexual and likes boys! It ain't mutually exclusive."

BENCHING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: BENCH-ing

Etymology: You know when you're on a sports team but not actually playing, just waiting on the bench until the coach needs you? Yeah, it's the dating version of that.

"Rachel only ever seems to text me after I've given up on hearing from her. She's definitely benching me."

BISEXUAL

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: by-SEK-shoo-ULL

Etymology: A bisexual person is like a bicycle; both share the prefix bi, which means two.

"Mike, why do you call yourself bisexual? You've only ever dated women." "That's true, but I just haven't met a guy I wanted to call my boyfriend yet."

BREADCRUMBING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: BREAD-crum-ing

Etymology: Think of the phenomenon of getting a small creature to follow you by laying a trail of breadcrumbs here, and you've got the right idea.

"Renée replies to every second or third message I send her but never wants to meet IRL. I think she's breadcrumbing me."

CASUAL RELATIONSHIP

Dating / Type

Pronunciation: KAZH-oo-ull ruh-LAY-shun-ship

Etymology: This one's pretty straightforward in meaning: it's a romantic relationship that's not too serious or committed.

"I have a friends with benefits type thing going on with Emily, you know? It's a casual relationship."

CATFISHING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: KAT-fish-ing

Etymology: The term gained popularity after the release of the 2010 documentary on the then-burgeoning phenomenon, Catfish, but the real reason for the name is harder to come by.

"She always has a different excuse not to meet up with me." "Sounds you're being catfished..."

CISGENDER

aka Cis

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: siss-JENN-der

Etymology: From cis-, meaning literally 'on this side of' in mathematics and organic chemistry.

"So what's the opposite of trans, then? Normal?" "Well, no, it's not that simple. But the term you're looking for is 'cis'."

CUFFING SEASON

Dating / Type

Pronunciation: KUFF-ing SEE-zun

Etymology: Cuffing, as in "handcuffing", because you're chaining yourself to someone else — at least until winter's over.

"Starbucks just brought back the pumpkin spice latte, it must be cuffing season!"

CURVE

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: KURV

"I tried to ask out this babe at the bar last night and she curved me harder than I've ever been curved in my life."

CUSHIONING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: KUSH-on-ing

Etymology: Cushioning, as in, keeping a person or several people around to "cushion" the blow if your main relationship doesn't work out.

"I do really like Priya, but I'm still texting Sian just in case. Yeah, I guess I'm cushioning."

DEMISEXUAL

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: DEH-mee-SEK-shoo-ULL

A demisexual is a person whose sex drive is tied not to an immediate visual or physical attraction but to people's personalities once they've gotten to know them. As a result, demisexuals are poor candidates for one-night stands and casual relationships — which may make them feel a bit alienated in our current dating climate. But they're no more or less capable of deep, loving relationships as the rest of us, so if you're prepared to take things slow sexually, demisexuals can make for great partners, too.

Etymology: Demi means half, or part — positioning demisexuals between asexuals and people who do typically experience sexual desire.

"At first I thought I was asexual, but then I realized I can have sexual desire for people... just not until I really know them!" "Sounds like you might be demisexual."

DM SLIDE

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: DEE-em slide

A DM slide is when you direct message your crush using the private messaging functions available on all of the major social media networks, eg. Twitter and Instagram. You usually need to be mutuals first — ie. follow each other — to avoid your message ending up in an "other" folder, and DM sliding tends to occur after some public interaction, eg. liking each other's pics or @ replying.

Etymology: DM stands for "direct messages", and "sliding" is the process of entering someone's direct messages to flirt with them.

"Brandy just posted a selfie and she's looking hot AF! I'm about to slide in the DMs."

DOGGING

Sex / Trend

Pronunciation: DOG-ing

Primarily a British trend, and with scant hard evidence of its existence, dogging refers to the practice of couples having public sex in their cars in places where others can watch (often in nature) — and, if certain anecdotes are to be believed, join in. The whole thing may sound a bit fishy (or... doggy?) and more like the plot of a very specifically focused porn site than a real trend, but the thrill of voyeurism is a real and exciting one for many couples.

Etymology: Opinions differ, but this term may come from the concept of taking one's dog for a walk in a wooded area and discovering a couple doing it.

"Angela and I have been discussing going dogging. We love being watched... it's such a thrill."

DTR CONVERSATION

aka DTR, DTR Convo

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: dee-tee-ARE con-ver-SAY-shun

Etymology: There's no great mystery here — DTR simply stands for "define the relationship."

"It's been six months and I just don't know what we are yet?" "Well have you had a DTR convo with him?

EGGPLANT EMOJI

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: EGG-plant ee-MO-ji

There are other sex emojis — the peach (a luscious butt) and the water drops (either wetness or ejaculate, depending on your tastes), notably — but the eggplant emoji is doubtless the most suggestive. Why? Well, peach and water drops are actually used in other contexts. But when was the last time you needed to use a damn eggplant emoji to signify eggplant?

Etymology: People just noticed that the eggplant emoji was phallic-looking. The rest is history.

"Wow, did you see that bulge? Man, I'd love to see his eggplant emoji, if you know what I mean."

EMERGENCY CALL

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: eh-MUR-jun-see KOL

"Oh, God, thanks for agreeing to be my emergency call last night. What a nightmare date that was."

FIREDOORING

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: FIE-er DOH-ring

This is the dating version of the one-way fire door — on rare occasions, someone will come out of their shell to contact you, but won't respond if you attempt to get in touch. It's a setup that only works in deeply unequal situations — if you're getting firedoored, you're constantly feeling frustrated and only occasionally satisfied. If this is happening to you, get out and close the door behind you. There are tons of people out there who won't do this to you!

Etymology: A fire door is a one-way door — it allows you to exit (on rare occasions) but never allows anyone to enter.

"She never responds to my messages, but texts me 'u up' at 1 a.m.? What's the deal?" "Sounds like you're getting firedoored, bud."

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS

aka FWB

Identity / Dating

Pronunciation: FRENDS with BEN-eh-fits

"So what are we? Is this a relationship? Or are we just friends?" "I think we're friends... with benefits."

F*CKBUDDIES

aka F*ckfriends

Identity / Dating

Pronunciation: FUK-buh-deez

Etymology: F*ck means sex... buddies means friends... should be pretty straightforward.

"I met this great girl. We've been seeing each other a lot... just for sex, though, no dates. We're f*ckbuddies."

GAY

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: GAY

This term is one of the more flexible on the list, but, generally speaking, someone who identifies as gay is exclusively attracted to, or exclusively dates, or exclusively has sex with, people who are the same gender as themselves — but it's a term that's been reclaimed by many across the spectrum of sexuality — so if you see a queer woman proclaim she's gay despite dating men too, it's not necessarily the contradiction you think it is.

"Carol, would you like to grab coffee with me this weekend?" "Sure, Jim, but as friends. You do know I'm gay, right?"

GENDERFLUID

Identity / Gender

Pronunciation: JEN-der-FLOO-id

Can be applied to people who feel outside the gender binary, or it can be applied to persons who feel that their gender isn't fixed, but variable — changing from day to day. Unlike nonbinary persons, a genderfluid person might identify as male and female, on different days, whereas a nonbinary person will usually identify as neither male nor female. Someone's gender identity has nothing to do with whom they're attracted to, or what they look like on the outside, or what physical sex they were born as. Gender is a mental conception of the self, so a genderfluid person can present as any gender or appearance, based on how that term feels for them.

Etymology: Gender, as in, your gender. Fluid, as in flowing, non-stable, movable, changeable.

GHOSTING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: GO-sting

Etymology: You know the disappearing act ghosts are known for? That, but it's your crush instead of a poltergeist.

"I'm not really feeling Melissa anymore, but she's really into me. I think I'm just gonna ghost her."

HALF-NIGHT STAND

Dating / Type

Pronunciation: HAFF nite STAND

Etymology: A half-night stand is 50 per cent of a one-night stand — get it?

"Joe was lazy in bed and wouldn't give me head, so I got out of there as soon as he fell asleep. I guess I've had a half-night stand now!"

HAUNTING

aka Zombieing

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: HAWN-ting

Haunting occurs when you think you have finished things with a date that didn't work out — or even a serious relationship — but then you notice signs that your ex is lurking your social media feeds, eg. they randomly like old Instagram pics or watch your daily stories. Often the notifications are a deliberate attempt to remind you that they exist.

Etymology: This is another supernatural dating metaphor but the meaning is almost the opposite of ghosting: in this case the offender lingers around rather than disappearing.

"Guess who watched my Instagram story today, of all people!? John! He's haunting me, and it's really creepy."

INCEL

aka Virgin

Identity / Celibacy

Pronunciation: IN-sell

Etymology: Incel is a portmanteau of the phrase "involuntarily celibate" — someone who's sexually inactive but wishes they could be.

"Ugh, I haven't had sex in almost three years. I'm such an incel."

KITTENFISHING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: KIT-in-FISH-ing

Etymology: You already know about catfishing, when a person pretends to be someone they're not online. Well, kittenfishing is the lite version of that.

"Remember that girl I was messaging on Tinder? Well, we met IRL, and she was definitely kittenfishing."

LGBTQ

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: ELL-jee-bee-tee-CUE

"I love all my LGBTQ friends!"

LOVE BOMBING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: LUV BOM-ing

Etymology: Like its literal counterpart, a love bomb is awesome and spectacular at first, but ultimately very destructive.

"Graeme was so sweet at first, but now he's manipulative and jealous all the time. I guess he love bombed me."

MICROCHEATING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: MY-cro-CHEA-ting

Etymology: If you think of cheating behaviors as existing on a scale, these ones are on the more minor end.

"I've never caught Imogen sleeping with anyone else, but she's constantly flirting with other guys and texts everyone except me. In my opinion, she's microcheating."

NETFLIX AND CHILL

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: NET-flicks and CHILL

"How'd it go?" "Well, I invited him over for a little Netflix and chill... you can guess what happened next."

NON-BINARY

Identity / Gender

Pronunciation: non-BYE-nuh-ree

Etymology: The prefix non- is modifying the noun 'binary', nullifying the idea that gender exists as only two options.

"I thought Padraic was trans? Why doesn't Padraic want to be referred to as 'she'?" "Padraic is trans, but they're nonbinary, not femme!"

OPEN RELATIONSHIP

Dating / Type

Pronunciation: OH-pin ruh-LAY-shun-ship

Etymology: The opposite of a traditional, "closed" relationship, an open relationship relaxes the rules on monogamy.

"I love Max, but I think we'd both benefit from a bit more sexual freedom. I'm thinking of asking him for an open relationship."

PANSEXUAL

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: pan-SEK-shoo-ull

Etymology: Pan-, meaning all; someone who is attracted to all persons and genders.

"So are you still bisexual?" "Well, ever since my partner transitioned I feel like the word 'pansexual' suits me better, you know?"

PIE HUNTING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: PIE HUNT-ing

Etymology: A "pie" is a person with a disastrous dating history familiar with rejection and heartbreak. It comes from "pied off", British slang for being stood up or dumped.

"Dave only ever dates divorcees. He's a real pie-hunter."

POLYAMOROUS

aka Poly

Identity / Dating

Pronunciation: paw-lee-AM-oh-riss

In its various forms, polyamory has been a part of human culture for millennia, particularly in the form of polygamous marriages, but it's enjoying a resurgence in modern dating culture as millennials (children of divorce faced with untold levels of choice) break with monogamous tradition and begin exploring their options. It's not a free-for-all — there are still rules, and cheating does exist — but consensually dating (and loving) multiple people at once could represent the future of dating.

Etymology: Polyamorous comes from the Greek poly (many) and amor (love), meaning many loves.

"To be honest, Camille and I are thinking of experimenting with being polyamorous."

QUEER

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: KWEER

Etymology: Originally meaning 'strange', 'queer' was used for years as a slur against non-normative sexualities.

"Not gay as in happy, but queer as in 'screw off.'"

REDPILL

Identity / Celibacy

Pronunciation: RED-pill

If you decide, once and for all, that women are bad and society is set up in such a way to privilege them over men at every turn, you're completely off your rocker — but you've also had a redpill moment. You'll probably want to head to Reddit and swap stories with other incels and MGTOWs about how women are ruining your lives.

Etymology: Redpilling is named for the scene in The Matrix when Morpheus offers Neo the choice between taking a red pill and a blue pill — with the red one representing the horrifying truth and the blue, blissful ignorance.

"Yeah, my brother totally got redpilled in his first year at college. Yikes."

ROACHING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: ROW-ching

Etymology: Roaching refers to the adage that if you see one cockroach, there are a ton more that you don't see — just like this person's sneaky side-dealings.

"So it turned out he'd been seeing like, six other girls the whole time!" "Damn, Tina. You got roached."

SAPIOSEXUAL

Identity / Dating

Pronunciation: SAY-pee-oh-SEK-shoo-ull

Etymology: The "sapio" part comes from the Latin word "sapiens," which means "mind."

"What really entices me about a woman... is her mind. Yes, you could call me a sapiosexual."

SEVERAL-NIGHT STAND

Sex / Trend

Pronunciation: SEV-rull NITE STAND

If the one-night stand was a product of the 20th century's loosening sexual mores, the several-night stand is a distinctly 21st-century invention. For people who care about someone else enough to sleep with them multiple times but not enough to take it past that, it's an arrangement that necessitates the hyper-connectedness and smorgasbörd of choice that our phones now offer us. Your drunken hookup is just a text away; but exclusivity seems foolish when your next drunken hookup might also be just a text away.

"Well, we kept on texting each other 'u up' every evening and it basically turned into a several-night stand."

SEX INTERVIEW

Sex / Trend

Pronunciation: SECKS INN-tur-vyou

Have you ever had sex with someone before going on a real date with them? Then you've engaged in a sex interview, my friend! Sex researchers (yes, that's a real job) coined the term in 2015 to describe the practice, which is increasingly popular among millennials who are less shy about sex and more interested in weeding out incompatible lovers than so-so conversationalists. If you have high standards for sex, it makes a lot of sense — the possibility of developing real intimacy and chemistry with someone only to discover you're nothing alike in bed is a real turn-off of its own.

"So what's the deal with you and Brandon? Is that happening?" "Nah. He's still messaging me, but to be honest, he failed his sex interview."

SEX ROBOTS

Sex / Trend

Pronunciation: SEX ROW-bots

The future of masturbation? The future of sex work? The future of sex? The future of... relationships, period? The concept of a sex robot has been around for a long time, but recent years, big strides forward in AI and robot tech mean that you could, in theory, shack up with a robot and eschew human contact entirely in the near future.

Etymology: The word robot comes to us from the Czech language — in which it means slave. The phrase "sex robot" becomes slightly unsettling, in that context.

"Honestly, I'm thinking of quitting the whole dating scene and just getting a sex robot."

SITUATIONSHIP

Dating / Type

Pronunciation: SIT-chew-AY-shun-ship

Etymology: It's not a friendship, or a relationship, but something in between: it's a situationship.

"So what's the deal with you and Molly now? Are you together?" "I don't know, man. It's a situationship."

SLOW FADE

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: SLOW fade

Etymology: Similar to breadcrumbing, the slow fade is letting someone down gently… without actually saying so.

"I want to end things with Lee, but I can't stand the idea of hurting him. I think I'm gonna do the slow fade."

SNACK

Identity / Dating

Pronunciation: SNAK

"God damn, did you see that babe who just walked by?" "Yeah, man, that girl was a snack!"

STASHING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: STA-shing

Etymology: Stashing a partner is hiding them away from public view, like a squirrel stashing nuts in a tree.

"Maria won't introduce me to any of her friends or family. I think I'm being stashed."

STEALTHING

Sex / Trend

Pronunciation: STELL-thing

Etymology: Stealthing is necessarily a sneaky move, since it involves removing the condom and keeping it a secret.

"When we started, he was wearing a condom, but halfway through I realized he wasn't!" "Oh my God, he stealthed you?

STRAIGHT

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: STRATE

Etymology: Straight means heterosexual, mostly.

"I'm flattered you'd think to ask me out, Zander, but I'm straight."

SUBMARINING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: sub-muh-REE-ning

Etymology: Submarines go underwater... and the occasionally pop back up to the surface! That's normal behavior for them.

"So after disappearing for two months, she just pops right back up!" "Damn... she submarined you!

SUMMER FLING

Dating / Type

Pronunciation: SUM-mer FLING

Etymology: This one's not rocket science: a summer fling is a short, informal relationship over the warmer months.

"I had such a good time with Nicole in Cabo but it was definitely just a summer fling."

SWINGER

Identity / Dating

Pronunciation: SWING-ur

Etymology: Swingers are people who 'swing' from one sexual partnership (their spouse) to another.

"Yeah, this married couple asked us if we wanted to come to a swingers party with them."'

SWIPING

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: SWHY-ping

"No plans tonight... I'm just going to stay home, re-download Tinder and swipe myself silly."

THIRST TRAP

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: THURST trap

Etymology: Thirst is desire, sexual or romantic, that tends to be unreturned; a trap is how you catch unsuspecting victims.

"Damn, did you see Sheila's selfie last night? That outfit was wild!" "Yep, that was a real thirst trap."

TINDSTAGRAMMING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: TIND-stuh-gram-ming

Etymology: A mashup of "Tinder" and "Instagramming," Tindstagrammers try to make the most of both platforms.

"I have 10 new messages in my Other folder on Instagram! These Tindstagrammers won't leave me alone."

TRANSGENDER

Identity / Gender

Pronunciation: trans-JEN-der

Etymology: Trans-, meaning across or beyond, plus gender

"So I hear Paul's cousin is transgendered now." "Actually, she's just transgender — no 'ed' necessary!"

TURKEY DUMP

Dating / Type

Pronunciation: TUR-key DUMP

Etymology: So-named because it's a breakup that occurs after the Thanksgiving break.

"I had such a good time with Jake while he was home for Thanksgiving, but he broke up with me as soon as he got back to campus. I got turkey dumped."

All illustrations by Graeme Adams.

Source: https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/internet-dating-slang-terms.html

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