#I think I just need to talk to Mae rn

[siempre-bucky]

hallucinations

Qimir x Reader

summary: Qimir takes quick action when you get sick on Khofar when you start seeing things

wc: 1.6k

a/n: for the anon that wanted some whump... I hope you like it <3 I'm working on requests rn and they're still open for Qimir!

You wanted to like this planet. Khofar was a planet you had dreamed of visiting since Qimir gave you a map of the outer rim. The dense forest made you feel so at home, one with the galaxy—or at least you wanted it to feel this way. Your head pounded with every step you took as you trekked behind Mae and Qimir, your lungs struggling to fill with air. You weren’t sure when you began to feel so dragged down and exhausted, you didn’t feel this way often. 

Qimir pulled his pack higher onto his shoulder and looked behind to catch a glimpse of you. His eyebrows knitted together in worry, “You alright?” he asked, tripping over a rock but catching himself gracefully. You looked up with tired dry eyes, they burned as you tried to keep your gaze on him. With a nod, you drew in a breath and powered through to close the distance between you and your friend. 

“Fine,” you answered, masking the illness that took over your body. You wanted to crawl back to the ship and bundle up in the small sleeping quarters that barely slept the three of you. This mission wasn’t about you, Mae was eager to please the master and kill the Wookie. Right now you hated the eagerness that was powering her, it made her walk faster. 

“You don’t look fine,” Qimir sighed, “we can stop.” He slowed his movements as you entered deeper into the forest, his eyes looking at your feet to make sure you didn’t trip over a rock or exposed tree root on the small ledge you had to climb down. 

You raised your hand and put it on his shoulder to reassure him, tempted to lean against him for support as you maneuvered around to get to solid ground. “I’m good. We need to help her find Kelnacca.” He noticed the weakness in your tone, followed by the slight hoarseness that had him wondering when the last time you had water was. “It’s just in front of us.” 

The man looked forward, squinting to see what you were talking about. He knew the exact location and you were nowhere close to the cabin where the Wookie resided. He quickly realized that you were so sick you started to see things. “Hey, hey, hey,” he cooed as it dawned on him. He grabbed ahold of your arm gently to get your attention. You turned to look at him and he was able to take in the sweat on your forehead and the lifelessness in your eyes. “I need you to sit.” 

“I’m fine, Qimir. I feel ok.” 

Famous last words. A wave of lightheadedness crashed into you, and it made you stumble right into his chest. A chill followed, and suddenly you were transported to Hoth; freezing with no solution. Qimir was warm, the thickness of his coat warmed your cheek for a brief moment before he peeled you off of him. Everything was muffled as he sat you down on a rock, you vaguely heard him call out for Mae. The world spun as you watched him give her an empty canteen and urged her to go get water from the creek nearby. You swore you saw womp rats following her closely as she hastily disappeared into the forest.  

You suddenly felt the warmth of his hand hit your cheek, and you leaned into it, your eyes meeting his. His hand felt like a pillow, holding you steady as you struggled to stay conscious. His face finally came into focus. Qimir was just as beautiful as the day you met him, when he was still a gun runner for the Hutts, and you were freshly recruited by the Master for your set of skills.  “I think I’m sick, Qi,” you chuckled, giving in. 

“I know,” he sighed, using the side of his sleeve to gently brush the beads of sweat from your forehead. 

He looked around the forest anxiously, no sight of Mae and he had lost track of when he sent her. He grumbled something about her always taking her time and cursed her lack of urgency under his breath. Qimir felt you slump over and it instantly worried him. He’d never seen you so sick before. You managed to fight off colds with his remedies and hide your sniffles when you needed to. It hurt him to see you like this. 

The world went dark after that, and the next thing you knew, you were waking up to the smell of a familiar remedy. There was something about the spiciness that tickled your nostrils that instantly made you feel better. Qimir made it often when either of you got sick, storing containers of it just in case he couldn’t make it right then and there. He made it the first time for you just months after you met, getting caught in a rainstorm and the doors to the place you were staying wouldn’t budge. You were stubborn and demanded to stay with him after he shouted at you to find shelter while he tinkered with the bolts and screws. You were stuck in bed with a terrible cold for a week and Qimir never failed to bring you the special soup. 

You could hear the metal spoon drag along the bottom of the pot, the warmth of a fire soothing the chill you were still stricken with. A blanket had been draped over your torso, you snuggled in deeper to let it come up over your mouth, touching your nose. It smelled of him, earthy and a scent so uniquely Qimir. With a soft groan, you turned your head to the side to take in the room. It would have made a nice shelter if the Master wanted, it was large enough to hold a few people yet it had a charm to it. You felt as if you could live here for a while, fill up that nearly empty bookshelf in the corner, and bring those rusted-over monitors near the dirty window to life again. Maybe just not now though, your body felt as if an entire ship had been dropped on top of you. You didn't want to move, you couldn’t move. 

Qimir saw you wiggle beneath the blanket out of the corner of his eye. He quickly poured the soup into a bowl and carefully walked it over to you, kneeling beside the makeshift bed. “How are you feeling?” He placed the bowl on the table beside him and placed the back of his hand on your forehead. You were still burning up he noted, he took his hand and crooked his long pointer finger, letting it drag along the side of your face. Your head followed his touch so that your face was looking at the ceiling. It was almost sensual the way he touched you, slow and delicate, taking you in even in this state. He was thankful your eyes were closed or you might have seen the red flush on his cheeks.

“Like I got body slammed by a Wookie,” you answered weakly. “Was there a Wookie?” 

He chuckled a bit and shook his head, hair falling into his face, “No,” he said gently, removing his hand and sitting back on his heels, “You’ve been seeing things all day.” 

“Shit,” you cursed with a small laugh. Your eyes finally opened again and you turned your head carefully so it wouldn’t throb. Maybe he was right and you were seeing things because Qimir had changed? The green and brown baggy clothes you were accustomed to were different. He wore jet black sleeveless robes, well structured and they formed to his well-toned body. Had he always been that toned? You let your hand emerge from the warmth of the blanket and pressed your hand against his chest. His gaze was locked on your hand, watching intently as your fingers danced along the folds of his lapels, feeling the surprisingly soft fabric. 

“I-I have to go,” he told you, voice wavering as you touched the bare center of his chest. 

Your fingers were cold but his skin felt as if it was on fire. Qimir’s watchful eyes flickered over to you and your eyes began to droop closed. He took your hand and placed it gently on your chest, but he didn't let go. Carefully leaning in, he pressed his lips to your forehead.

“Stay—” you don’t know what possessed you to say it. You wrapped your hand around his collar again, this time it felt soft like his beloved brown jacket. Another hallucination, but you liked that one. Sure, Qimir had always been handsome, but him in those back robes did you in. Your heart was racing and it wasn’t from the illness. 

 “Eat that when you wake up please,” he whispered against your warm skin. “I won’t be long.” 

You mumbled incoherently and let consciousness slip away as soon as his lips left you. Though it didn’t last long, you woke up once again not knowing how long you slept for. Your eyes slowly opened, and a blurry figure was standing in the doorway. He outstretched his hand, his forearm wrapped in a metal gauntlet that glowed in the moonlight. A large black object flew to his hand. 

You blinked once to sharpen your vision. 

Twice to make sure you weren’t hallucinating again. 

The figure had his back turned to you, that object in his hand was a helmet. You watched as he slipped it over his head, his dark hair covered by the metal and he started to levitate inches off the floor. Those robes looked familiar. Qimir, you thought. But then you giggled to yourself—it couldn't be. 

You were just—hallucinating again. It had to be.

[moonstruckme]

hi mae!! i saw ur anon earlier abt which characters u have reqs for rn and u mentioned not having any for tasm!peter, which i think is a crime, so i’m here to change that!

i looooved your marauders fic where reader came out as nonbinary (im enby myself) and i was wondering how that would go with peter? maybe during the stage where they both know they like each other, but haven’t officially started dating yet, and reader comes out to him as what they see as a “warning”. i’m openly enby but still present as very femme, so whenever there’s even an inkling of romance between me and a guy i’m always like “oh they dont know im enby. if i tell them they’re not gonna like me anymore, but also, this is who i am”. of course, no need to write this if you aren’t comfortable/not feeling inspired by it!! thank you love 🫶🏽🫶🏽

Hi gorgeous, thank you for requesting! I'm always a bit worried about these because I can only really try to imagine the enby experience from my outsider's perspective, so please lmk if there are any inaccuracies and/or insensitivities :)

tasm!Peter Parker x nb!reader ♡ 1.1k words

You’re constructing your lego flowers at about half Peter’s pace. Peter’s a whiz with everything, and you thought you were used to it, but the way he’s leaving you in his dust is borderline humiliating. He barely even has to look at the instructions, while you’re turning them over in your hands, glancing repeatedly between the paper and the small plastic pieces strewn between you on the couch. 

It might have something to do with your lack of focus. Which might have something to do with Peter being in especially flirty form today. 

It’s no secret that the two of you have feelings for each other. You have for a while, and you’ve both been aware of it for almost as long. Until today, neither of you seemed prepared to do anything about it. But something feels different. Maybe it’s the way he’s looking at you, quick glances through his lashes as he talks, or the way his friendly touches seem more intentional than usual, or the fact that he’d wanted to build lego flowers with you because he thought you’d like it, despite you never having exhibited any interest in legos in your life. 

None of it is unwelcome. You want to enjoy it, but the escalation makes your palms sweat. It makes it seem like something is going to happen, some change, and you haven’t been honest with him yet. You feel like a time bomb. Or a mirage. Peter thinks he’s getting one thing with you, and then you lift the veil to reveal that you’re something else entirely. You feel like you have an obligation to clue him in before he makes any kind of move. And you’re scared of missing your window, but you have no idea when it’s passing. 

“I think you’re missing this one.” Peter’s hand moves over your lap, depositing a lego piece. 

You look up at him, returning his smile. “Thanks,” you say. “This is super unfair, by the way. You’ve got years of experience on me.” 

“It’s not a competition,” he laughs, looking at you in that way again. Warm, sunny, and something else. He holds his finished product out to you, a plasticky snapdragon. “Here, add it to our bouquet.” 

You take it from him compliantly, picking up the vase you’d dug out from your cabinet to hold the growing selection of plastic flowers. You can feel Peter’s eyes on you, and your hands shake a little as you arrange it among the others. If he puts on smooth jazz and starts lighting candles, you’ll bolt. 

“You’re gonna have a whole collection by the time we’re done here,” he says, and you hum in affirmation. His smile fades a bit. “Are you hungry? I could make us some dinner.” 

You aren’t, really, but you ought to be. You suspect your appetite’s just clogged up with nerves. “Sure, I could eat.”

Peter hops up, seeming happy to have something to do. “Okay, sick.” He starts going through cabinets, energy zinging off him in every direction. “We have frozen pizza! Or, uh, leftover thai food, or mac and cheese. Ooh, and we’ve got breadcrumbs! We could crust up the mac and cheese, if we’re feeling fancy.” He looks at you, raising his eyebrows comically high. 

“We can be fancy,” you say, trying to imitate his teasing tone. 

You don’t think you pull it off very well. Peter frowns and sets the boxed mac and cheese down on the counter. 

“Hey, are you okay?” You must look startled, because he softens the question with a smile. “You just seem a little spacey today. Is…are you having fun?” 

“I am,” you say, perhaps too quickly. Your voice is tinged with desperation. You try again, more sincerely. “I am, Pete. This is fun. I’m sorry, I’m just a little out of it.” 

“That’s okay.” He makes his way back over to the couch, folding a leg underneath him as he sits. His eyes are earnest on yours. Reassuring, even though he doesn’t know what there is to reassure yet. “What’s eating you?” 

You try to look casual, make your tone sound offhand. “Have I mentioned that I’m nonbinary?” 

Peter blinks. “Uh, no. I don’t think so.” 

“Oh.” You grin, shrugging. Every move you make feels stilted and embarrassing. “Well, I am. I’ve just been thinking I should make sure you knew, just in case you didn’t.” 

“Okay.” He seems a bit stunned, but he hasn’t broken eye contact with you. And Peter’s not looking at you like he’s seeing through the veil. He’s looking at you the way he always has. “Are you—is this your way of trying to tell me that you want me to use different pronouns for you?” 

“What?” you laugh. “No. I’m not trying to tell you anything, just…I like you, and I didn’t want to, like, trap you in anything if you didn’t know.” The levity saps from your tone as you go on, until your voice is painfully quiet. “I understand if you don’t like me anymore. It’s cool.” 

“What?” Peter repeats you, but the delivery is off. He sounds gutted. “Why would you think that?” 

You shrug. You’re doing your best to look normal, but your face is burning something awful. 

“You’re not—” he shakes his head. “You’re not trapping me in anything. Sweetheart.” Peter surges into your corner of the couch, crowding you as much as hugging you. Mindless of the viscous little plastic pieces biting into his knees. He smells like laundry detergent. “Thank you for telling me,” he says, face an inch from your ear, “but it doesn’t change how I feel about you. Sorry to disappoint.” 

You laugh, the sound embarrassingly choked. He rubs your back roughly. 

“I can tell this is you just trying to get out of things,” he goes on with impressive lightness, “and I really hate to tell you this, but you’re stuck with me. We have a lego bouquet now. Those are binding.” You laugh again, and Peter’s voice drops to a more sincere register. “Thanks for telling me though, really.” He releases you, or partly, hands sliding down your shoulders to rest on the crooks of your elbows. “I like getting to know you. I’ll take whatever new material you want to give me.” 

“Thanks,” you say softly. You muster your confidence, taking his forearms in your hands and giving them a friendly squeeze. “I didn’t realize the lego flowers were a contract, though. I think I may want to renegotiate my terms.” 

Peter blows out a breath, shaking his head. “Sorry, can’t help you. There’s no backing out now.”

[sunghoonsslut]

H&H (Teaser) 18+

Pairing: Heeseung x Innocent Reader (AFAB)

Wc (teaser): 691

Final WC: sitting at 7k rn with barely any smut so 😅 expecting 15kish

Warnings (teaser): SMUT 18+ MDNI (no smut in this teaser but in the full fic), Religious themes/Religious Guilt (please don’t read if any of that that makes you uncomfortable), corruption kink, more when the fic is actually fully posted

Posting: End of June/Beginning of July probably (subject to change)

Taglist: I don't think I'll be doing a taglist unless a lot of people are interested

This fic won the poll so here’s a little treat 🤭

Dragging his Feet Heeseung makes his way down the hall at a slow pace reading over one of the group chats he was in, Jay and sunghoon on either side of him as the group walks talking, Sunghoon fighting off the lingering hangover effects. “I told you not to drink so much,” Jay reminds his friend who groans waving him off with a head shake, tinted glasses resting on his face to avoid the fluorescent lights enhancing his headache.

 “I would have just skipped this lesson but apparently it’s ‘Incredibly vital for the core of the entire class premise,’” Sunghoon quotes with a grimace massaging at his temples to quell the pounding. “So next time you should actually listen to me instead of taking another shot,” Jay takes it as a moment of triumph with a smile earning an eye roll from the younger. 

Heeseung can’t help but laugh raising his head from his phone and adjusting his bag eyes scanning the hall, perking up in an instant, the moment he spots you, you’re not exactly hard to miss in the crowd of people, standing out like a sore thumb, dressed in complete coverage even with the heat that continues on into the early months of the semester.

“Hey I’ll catch you guys later,” He pats his friend on the shoulder leaving Jay mid-rant over how his finance professor is an ass, Sunghoon watches the way his friend moves his way through the body of other students weaving his way over towards you. “If I had to guess that’s the Quote on Quote ‘Religious Nut’ He was telling us about,” Jay’s eyes follow over to where Hee slips next to you casually.

“Yeah, I think you’re right on that one,” Sunghoon hums watching Heeseung walk away in the complete opposite direction of his class. “Must be down bad,” Jay mumbles before continuing where he left off about his teacher.

“Hey, you should come to this party we’re having,” Heeseung throws his arm over your shoulder walking with you almost too naturally as you look over at him on your side. Casually directing you in the direction he’s walking, attention shifting from getting to this next class towards him.

 Caught off guard you give him that usual surprised wide-eyed look before answering “Oh is it someone’s birthday party?” You ask with a smile lighting up at the idea as he pats you on the head lightly.

Innocent, is what comes to mind chuckling a little “Nope it’s just for fun, it’s what we do around here,” 

“Oh I see, I don’t know I think I have a paper to work on,” you explain thinking of the mountain of work you needed to finish, and a big quiz you desperately needed to study for.

Heeseung stops halting your movements at the same rate unprepared. You have to grip onto his waist to stop yourself from catapulting forward “Aw come on, at least show up for me, I swear we’ll have a fun time,” he promises bottom lip pressed outwards into a pout.

“These are the experiences that make College memorable, give you a taste of that freedom you’ve been craving,” he reminds you of one of the earlier conversations you had, that longing for normalcy and to do something you never imagined.

You hesitate remembering all the warnings, the stories, everything that screamed run “Okay then,” you say as if on autopilot caving to the way Heeseung asks watching the smile overtake his face satisfied it didn’t take much more convincing.

“Perfect! And Have Mae dress you up, she knows exactly what to wear to these events,” Heeseung explains, taking in your appearance the long skirt you have on practically touching the floor, your ankles not even visible matched with a long-sleeved blouse that reminded him of something he once saw in his grandma’s closet.

“I’ll text you and Mae the details later, now get to class safe,” He lets you go running off to whatever class he had, leaving you dizzily to finger out how far you had walked past your class thanks to Heeseung’s distracting, having to backtrack down the hall.

-------

A/N: This is just one of the scenes I will say Heeseung will be pretty Mean/Manipulative in the final thing with a couple soft moments but overall meanish so be warned of that when the full thing does get posted <3

[lesbinewren]

i’ve talked a lot about sol, but mae not even protesting the mind wipe was ridiculous. it really felt like a cop-out to make things easier on osha. why is she okay with this? yes, she’s “trying to make things right” for trying to deny osha her dream to be a jedi as kids, but that just felt so flimsy to me. it felt like she was okay with it bc the writers needed it that way

you could still do it with her protesting and ultimately not change what happened. i actually think it would’ve been a great moral dilemma for osha, and it would be interesting to see how far to the dark she’s fallen- not to mention the twist of fate that osha is now enforcing her will on mae the same way that sol enforced it on hers, and i think could make for a VERY interesting conflict in season 2 between the sisters. obviously we have to see where it goes, but rn it lends itself to a repeat of season 1- sister 1 did something terrible but “justified”, and sister 2 is piecing it all together from the opposing side

[ssoupcup]

Thank you @sculkcensor yippee I love to talk about my interest

🎙 Last song: Gallowdance by Lebanon Hanover!!! Well I'm currently listening to it but yk it goes so hard. Idk why there's a solid minute or so of silence at the end though like that's that about

📖 Last book: I am currently working my way through the Canterbury Tales (it is a challenge bc something inspired me to get an edition in the original 14th century English) but last one I fully read was The Picture of Dorian Gray. Again. I wanna read more actually I used to so much as a kid and then I got hit with burnout

📽 Last film: I don't know actually I don't really watch films. It might have been Klaus over Christmas?

📺 Last TV show: Queen Charlotte I think, I don't watch TV generally but I downloaded a bunch of episodes to watch on flights/ airport and train journeys so they go quicker

🔍 Last thing I searched online: my uni's moodle site 🫡 finally submitted the second of my 2000 word essays now I just have a 1500 word one left to write this month

🍽 Sweet/savoury/spicy: either savoury or spicy. I love spicy food and savoury is also good. Basically anything but sweet, I inherited my mum's complete lack of tolerance towards sweet things. 70% dark chocolate is starting to taste too sweet I think I'm cooked

🌈 Favourite colour: GREEN. I don't think there's a single person in my life who doesn't know that I am just green. I am always wearing something green, even if it is just jewelery. I love green. I intend to make it so every one of my friends can't even look at something green without going ah yes. Soup/Mae. I need all the green

💞 Relationship status: been with my bf for over 7 months now!!!! He's absolutely incredible I've never been happier I love him so much. Just rip long distance but it's okay we see each other every month. And also how did I meet him on minecraft WHAT. How are my parents inviting a man I met through minecraft on our summer family holiday. Wild

😃 Looking forward to: FRIDAYYYYY I'm back in Sweden again visiting the bf for the weekend and after that he's visiting England bc we both have a week off ^_^ also I can't wait to get my deadlines over withhhh January and February are awful for deadlines I'm actually over writing essays. I always reach a point where I consider dropping out when it nears the deadline

🕵‍♀️ Current obsession: I actually don't know I've been too focused on deadlines to have a big obsession rn but I guess music stuff??? I've been going so insane (positive) over music recently. I have also been thinking a lot about palaeontology which is ironic considering I'm an archaeology student and whenever I say that to people who don't know I get asked 'oh so like dinosaurs and stuff'. Palaeontology is the dinosaurs one. Arch is the human one. And as usual gothic stuff and vintage clothing

Idk who to tag augh erm @fields-and-doe @waspsystem (if you want to ofc!! ^_^)

[justagirlwhowritess]

This was asked for, I hope I did him justice, it was too long for tumblr, i got a little carried away but here's a snippet. Idk why soft mha as dads is ruining my life rn.

Pairing: Hizashi Yamada (Present Mic) x Fem! Reader

Genre: Fluffy/ a little sad

Warnings: Season 6 of the Anime Spoilers, slight mention of insecurities.

Additional Notes: N/A “He’s married?? But he’s sooo loud! His poor wife” you heard two girls in the hallway start giggling while they were talking about what you could only assume was your husband, pro hero and teacher who went by Present Mic. You worked for the biggest support company in Japan as one of the lead designers, always on the forefront of new hero technology. When it came to Hizashi, however, you met him during your time at UA. You adjusted your daughter on your hip as you continued to move down the hallway to Hizashi’s classroom. “Y/n? What are you doing here?” Aizawa asked, looking at you confused. “Shouta, lovely to see you. Hizashi asked me to come, and said something was happening and I needed to bring Kiki with me.” you told him truthfully. A scowl was now present on his face. Hizashi didn’t go into detail but you could sense his worry. The way he cared for you was unmatched. “Oh. That. Yeah, it’s probably going to be better coming from him." His words struck you as odd. “What does that mean?” you asked, tightening your grip on Kiki. “Danger is coming. Things are starting to get bad.” your eyes widen. Hairs start to stand on the back of your neck as you think about what he could possibly mean. “You should talk to him.” Aizawa states. “Talk to who about what?” you feel relieved at hearing Hizashi come up beside you. “Just the man I was looking for.” You hummed. His eyes perk up as he turns to you. “Oh really, for what?” he smirks. You laugh and hand him your restless child. “She has been driving me crazy, your turn. Also you asked me to come.” You spoke as he took his tired child in his arms. “Dada” she mumbled quietly as he got her situated. “Yeah, come on.” he mumbled, placing a hand on your back leading you to his now empty classroom. The kids must be at lunch, you think to yourself as you sit on the corner of his desk. “So, what is it?” you asked, trying not to grow impatient, today was your day off and you didn’t really want to spend it at UA. too many not so great memories. “You know the villain presence is getting stronger since the situation with all might. The liberation front is beginning to cause chaos. Nezu has decided to open the campus as a shelter. It will be safer for you and Kiki to stay here.” His words shook you to your core. You didn’t want to live here, even if it was temporary. “Hizashi I-I don’t want to stay here.” you told him as you rubbed your arm. He sighs. “Y/n don’t do this. You know this place is a fortress. You both will be safe here. If anything happens to either of you because of this I will never forgive myself.” You know he’s telling you the truth. You take your face in your hands and rub it lightly. “When?” you asked. “Tonight preferably.” his response elicits a groan from you. “How long have you known about this?” You asked, growing annoyed. “A few weeks.” He admitted. You cross your arms over your chest. “Why did you wait to tell me?” He sighs “Because you were so busy, and I didn’t think things were going to get this bad.” He shifts slightly, your daughter now asleep in his hold. “How bad have they gotten?” you ask cautiously. He wasn’t a private person, at least not with you. You watched the news, more so recently, but with how the media is you know there are things they are hiding. You know a lot about his students, Aizawa’s, even helped Mae Hatsume tweak some of her work for class 1-A. She is a brilliant child and you were trying to convince your company to snag her once she was closer to graduating. “Midoriya left, the kids want to go after him.” He admits. Your eyes widen “Wh-what? There are children fighting in this war?” You felt tears well in your eyes, you became slightly softer after the birth of Kiki, imagining children in this scenario would rattle even the strongest of wills. “Y/n, please, I am begging you, you need to be here.” He redirects the conversation back. “Fine. Gonna have to let my job know I'll be remote for a while. UA is a decent hike.”

The rest is on my A03! Link attached :D.

[mingi-bubu]

Fic Updates~

CDrama Fics

I finished the Love O2O Meng Yiran x Yu Banshan fic, “even when i call you, it doesn't reach”. It's only 6.3k total words for all 6 chapters, but I'm finally done with it after several weeks past where I had wanted to finish it by.

I am so rewriting “bold and reckless, talk your way out of it” because I just have. No inspiration with where I had taken the story. So it's going to be redone. I think I had tried too hard to write something that is outside my wheelhouse. I'm good, I like to think, at writing angst. However, I don't think I'm good at writing angst when I'm forcing myself to write something the story isn't. If that makes sense.

Non-Cdrama Fics

I am still elbows-deep into my Criminal Minds au, but I am jumping between “collection: elle” and “The BAU Traumatized Kids Club”. Of the two, only “collection: elle” has been published. I think after three more chapters, I'll be able to get to the actual TKC story. The current chapter I'm writing now is focused on Elle and Tony meeting during free period, so she can be “Miss Student Guide”. The other three that are left, until we have her interludes in the main story, are a slice of life from college, Lola and Cindy's wedding, and when she and Tony part ways.

In the actual TKC story, I have several chapters that are currently being written. I fully expect that the chapters I have that are further down the timeline currently will change as I develop the universe more. I do like how I've developed Tyler and Sara's characters more. Carrie's is a bit more difficult, but considering it's still early doors and that she's dealing with the direct aftermath of her family's murder, I get it. I also like the handful of OCs I have that are literally just here in the story as background fluff, such as Carrie's friend in high school who thinks Reid is hot. She's a riot.

In my Derry Girls au, “you fancy you're a rebel”, I am currently one down, two to go on the three-split POV of the “first” chapter. James is done, but I'm in the middle of David's. I haven't gotten to the part where he gets attacked, but I did lay out more characterization for my OCs, who are David's bandmates in Nether Regions. I have a Pinterest board for the fic here if you want to see it!

This is part of #3, I just want to talk about my OCs a;ldsfkjsa Conor O'Carrol is the drummer and his FC is Andrew Garfield. His older brother Ciarán was the former drummer before uni that took him away from the lads. His FC is young Robert Sean Leonard. The O'Carrol's are Clare's cousins on her mom's side. Michael Connolly is the bass player, occasionally guitar when needed. His FC is young Takashi Kaneshiro. Jamie O'Neill is their frontman and de facto leader of the band. He can play guitar. His FC is Im Changkyun.

Still part of #3 & #4, but Clare is dating Mae, who is the accountant of NR.

There's probably something I'm missing, but I'm like. So tired rn a;flkjsadlkjf

[theuniverseawakens347]

Again how do you live with Lee for 33 years / 34? But 23 on record Paula change but Lee herself w station 7 Steve Harvey stache Dunlap … I LITERALLY SHOWERE PHOTOS OF LEE N HOWARD TO YOY GUYS … OFF MY IPAD PHONE N TWITTER.

Crayy_crayy

… I ASKED FOR THERAPY FIRST AND CAME W MARGIE STILL INTACT FROM GILBRIONNA MURDER AT 4 … lost Margie at 14 to liver cancer.. 15 asked for a therapist ( Margie passed at 18 monrovia across from the high school a few blocks from downtown monrovia where they do the big Christmas tree - WHY YOU GOT HER STUFF ANIMALS FROM HER OFFICE ( MY TEDDY BEARA FROM MY BED I THREW OUT FROM EVERY FUCKING CHILDS COURT VISIT I WENT TOO + VINTAGE DOLLS MARGIE GAVE ME - our favorite Toy Story on our walks ) …

Anyways 1st therapist you had me go to was off larchmont after Margie .. I DID ONE OR TWO SESSIONS ( next to the make up beauty pink building - across from the eye doctor on the right going south bound - KAJA EYE STABBING ME 2014 and me getting it checked out ) .. anyways THAT BITCH WAS UR THERAPIST DRUGGIE BUDDY BACK IN THE DAY ( Paula why you got this similar Taylor - Kimberly) … but uncontrolled motion white lady black hair .. like that dyke* from American horror story BOBBY BLUSHAY MOM lookalike … 2 sessions at most and she was bias in favor of Lee being a good mother n me being a brat - told Lee I was uncomfortable and stopped going “why” - BC BITCH THATS UR THERAPIST SHE DONT CARE WHAT I GOTTA SAY YAL FUCKING OR MONEY LAUNDERING THRU THE MEDICAL OFFICE - THATS WEIRD LICK UP INFO RN 9:47 pm left lib….

So you get me Michelle Cayley at 16 I see her she’s black sagaftra building - keep it all in Lee acting insurance huh ucla bob hope … but Michelle at like 16/17 I said I was starting to feel uncomfortable ( living w white lol trying to survive being black and a good little nigger bc me making mistakes of ANY SORTS is extreme tension - Lee” you’re wasting my money on private school if you don’t learn shit ima send you to public school” - drops me off a day at John .. what’s that van ness* off pico ARLINGTON .. middle school … LEFT ME FOR A WHOLE DAY JUST RANDOMLY “we’re going to visit them school” get there then “okay I’ll get you at 3 “ 🫤🖕 - Taylor sr Paula Barton. Regina king .. daisy florez ur oj act like this too huh India Warren “ I wonder why our kids are …” 🫤 why YOU RESTARD DRUGG ADDICTS SEX ALCOHOLICS … anyways

I asked 1st if I was adhd or add - I took Tasha adderal and it helped me focus in class and I was stoked normally I’m WALKING AROUND STANDING UP BORED DOING SOMETHING ELSE TAKING MY SHOES OFF SITTING IN THE BACK OF THE CLASS DOODLING UNTIL UOU TURN THE TV ON SCIENCE CLASS OR HAVE A GOOD BOOK OR DISCUSSION - math was weird I always looked at the posted and counted down time to leave or talked w neighbors - chemistry bitch you really waisted my time - IF I DIDNT KNOW IF I WANTED TO LEARN MORE .. anyways side note took the adderal ( and again in college to get papers done and had 1/2 left over when I works ed equinox FUCKTARD LEAH ALEX OD .. really cause I was taking these myself SO HOW BITCH “oh it’s expired” - THAT DONT MEAN OD SO WHAT YOU DO IN BENS NAME AND ERIC ROTISSERIE SEEN YOU KENDALL RAVE DJ PARTY VANESSA PARIS - who called the cops Ben or Brian my Claudia) … 9:55 pm car …

Asked Michelle and we took a test for both adhd and add 1-6 questions / 1-8 questions ALONE I GOT 4/6 and 6/8 “we should look into further testing apothy and I’ll talk to ur mom “ - cool thank you leaves goes home and tell Lee I scared this and that I think I’ll need another testing - weird cashay bc you did PERFECTLY fine when you were first brought into the house and they wanted to test ur math and reading skills .. - 54th lied and TCS Evelyn “cashay I want you to write the class notes and I photo copy them for everyone” - okay weird why “ur writing is the neatest” - DO WHY I DO SYLVAN LEE AND REPEAT 5 th grade - YA GOT NATEANA TEST SCORES. - I DO MY WORK AND ALWAYS FIRST TO FINISH .. SIGNED NEIGHBOR TO MAE PINK HOUSE MR. HARRIS WHY YA SON BABY MOMA COMING TO MY SCHOOL AND TESTING ME - DONNIE KEYS .. “it’s a special test for you” - 54 didn’t really have testing EXCEPT FOR CAT 9 - MISS. KATZ WHY YOU KNOW LEE LESBO FRIEND DONNA AND CECELIA .. SHE MY 3 rd grade teacher who I cussed out for being all up in my GOTDAMN home business and not doing shit good for me - Janae mother. .. ALSO BITCH WHY YOU TEACH ME MATH WRONG N SPELLING PRETTY WRONG - standards for no fucking reason .. am I writing what the other kids are writing but not talking to no one - oops WHY YOU JUST AINT TALK TO ME AND ASK WTF - MAE CATCHING ME CUSS OUT MISS KATS IN FRONT OF THE CLASS BEFORE A DENTIST APPOINTMENT SAYING HER THOUGHTS. - black teacher w the dreads you falling in the parking lot “ cashay did it she got magic” NO BITCH YOU CLUMSPY FAT WEARING HEELS SANDALS THAT DONT WORK FOR YOU - HI NEW WAY WHY YOU PASS - GRANNY FLORENCE. .. MAE PAYNE. KILLUMINATI…

🫤🖕

But like I said I asked took the test w Michelle told Lee and the next session I have with the three of us michelle changes up bc Lee said “she’s not any of these things “ - how you know Lee !?? - “I WANA DIAGNOSE YOU SCHIZOPHRENIC BC UR SAYING AND WRITING PPL THOUGHTS WITHOUT US TALKING TO YOU” - FUCK YOU IN FULL FROM GOD. - ALL MY OTHER TELEPATHIC FAMILY .. but cashay is different .. BITCH I KNOW THATS WHY YOU KILLING ME AND WORKING OVER FUCKING TIME AND STALKING ME - “she reincarnates too” - Lee seen me flying in my pole and she felt the fear of god and heard the voices and her mom n dad and KNOW ITS BC OF ME AND DONT WANA GO TO THE PSYCHWARD HERSELF HOWARD INCLUDED - STOP FUCKING W ME TIMOTHY WILL BE NICE TO YOU 🙂💋

Anyways then I asked Michelle “okay I’m feeling very angrey and just out of place and “I know my mom had mental illness” ( FUCKING LYING ASS BITCH ASS LEE - me saying her thoughts out loud too bout Darniece- Michelle thoughts too ( you a therapist n not talking straight to me about that - weird. FIRED BITCH) ).. “but is this normal for a teen as in hormones or is this the start of a mental illness?” - NO UR PERFECTLY FINE .. SAID IN FRONT OF LEE .. then me saying “okay i just wna check bc sometimes i just feel so angry and mentally clouded I can’t get my thoughts into full words” - LEES THOUGHTS ( oh so bitch you telepathic huh Howard she say ur thoughts out loud!?? Since when!?? 2021 watching me like YOU SATAN LIECE OF HIDING LYING FUCKING SHIT BITCH ASS CUNT. )

- woosaaah.. anyways I’m not crazy .. I’m just a little Beyoncé telepathic and less Satan and you all know that or else why did you sign ndas of illuminating killing sprees of my godly family for the “free” masons

🤷‍♀️😊

- power puff girls HI MOMMY N COI .. you really Darniece huh - OKAY WEIRDOS YOU WANT ME TO EAT THAT LIE UP FOR YOU OR YOU JUST GOT HER CPN - YA FAT MOM during left eye murder switch em around Darniece a star but Coi growing up looking like her - DNA TEST BENZINO “bitch you is not that cute and we DID NOT SLEEP TOGETHER SOOOOO HOW TF IS COI PUR CHILD” - idk Howard sperm .. lol my Dominican daddy .. how you living off that con Howard

😊

Ronald Tom ( already fixed it Janet) NUGENTS.

- HI BLACK LADIES OUT WHITE IS SLAVE OWNERS THRU BUSINESS SPERMING AND MAD MY MAFIA OUTS THEIRS lalalaalalalalalaalalalalalalalalal

- DONT EVER FUCKING TRY ME AGAIN YOU STUPID FUCKING PIECES OF SHIT. - RESPECTFULLY it’s truly.

FUCK YOU BITCH - DARNIECE LEE she likes you 😉 Howard lololololololololololol

- YOU WANTED A PAYCHOPATH CHILD SOLOLL FUCKING BAD WHERES HARDLEY JOKER.

- split personality Lee I think you need Howard n Charles Manson award FOR DUMMBEST CUNTS ALIVE.

- my period is coming - I SEE BLOOD PPL. 💋💋🖕🖕

10:14 pm lees a whore a liar ass Satan bitch huh Howard peltko so ARE you - split bodies fake Teistan and cashay kingg 🙂🖕

[patbwaifs]

i would say i'm at one extreme or the other, but i think i'm just the type of person to get locked into projects and ideas to the point of forgetting to eat or drink but feeling like i can't breathe if i'm not working on said project. From this Connor fan art to writing legal documents,

I think I'm just like this

a person of extremes - I've always seen autism as a condition of extremes. You're extremely sensitive or desensitized to any given condition. You hone in on certain things and everything else just doesn't exist.

Lately I haven't guilted myself for things.

I've been watching the Decharts' first playthrough of Detroit: Become Human and it'll make me so nervous. It took me a bit to realize that I keep waiting for something to go wrong. Like just out of the corner of my eye, someone's gonna get in trouble, someone's gonna get pissed. Sometimes I close my eyes and I just hear screaming. But it's just people playing a video game and being normal and positive. The real way I should say this is people expressing emotions in a normal way but that idea kinda suffocates me? Or thinking about how other people act pushes me into "not feeling like a real person territory" because I don't know how I act or how I feel.

i just kinda feel bad rn

I want to watch their Night in the Woods playthrough. I just finished the Bea route when I was in Kentucky and when Mae finally told Bea why she left college, I h

i can feel the blood leave my fingers

it's like each of my atoms are a separate entity from the other

Things just don't seem real.

I start speech therapy again in 7 hours and I have a new clinician and I'm scared.

My fixation on Connor is a ploy to both interact with the issues that I can't handle while also being another level of separation from it. My fixation on most things are like that. Emotional blindness, facial blindness, they just don't seem like they're real. I'm trying to look into a blindspot.

Why does trying to talk about the emotions someone else experienced feel like a crime.

Why do I want to talk about it?

I can see the words there, but if I try to type them out -

ugh.

I get a headache.

I can't let the words exist on a screen where someone else will see them. And it's not even about anything.

Or I say that last part defensively.

When Kara and Alice escaped from Todd and Amelia cried I wanted to cry - I could understand why she was crying. I think I understood why it made me want to cry.

The few times I looked at someone and really understood what they were feeling - I could count on one hand. My best friend's face as she looked up at with me a depth of anxiety and worry, to a magnitude I could both comprehend and could never describe is a moment I'll never forget.

In those moments where I understood what someone was feeling (even if we can never truly understand why) everything felt real - and grounded - and makes a type of sense that I only want to call weird because it's so rare to me.

It just occurred to me that I'm describing empathy.

I guess I was caught off guard when I was moving books around last Sunday and had a surprise moment of empathy while listening to a video game stream. With a stranger. From 5 years ago. time isn't real! And I feel like I get in trouble if anyone finds out!!!!

I have always been called a grounding type of person - to the point where I use it when people come to me in distress. But I don't talk about why I think I'm "so grounding." This space between someone in complete disarray and my understanding of it becomes a paradoxical anchor for them. Because I don't react. I don't freak out - because I don't understand what I'm seeing.

I understand that they're feeling - but I don't understand. I can catch that first moment to see what does the hysterically sobbing person need (whether it's normalcy, grounding, to lean into the pain... and as long as I'm relatively fine myself).

But I don't get why any of it is happening. What comes out of their or my mouth. None of it feels like it's happening.

When she cried, I wanted to cry. And it was another moment where things felt real.

[lucifer-kane]

new oc dropped for a Helimire au i made and babbled about on twitter. im gonna sketch her up in a bit but her name is Ada, she's Elijah's daughter and a princess in this. She has a pet raven who was given to her by 'The Raven Prince' aka Christopher who's kinda cursed to live in the woods outside of Helimire to protect the city. I came up with her two hours ago and I'm deeply obsessed with her already. copy pasting twitter rambles under the cut. i wanna do nothing but talk abt it rn

Laying in bed thinking about an au for my oc Christopher… that’s only slightly shifted from his canon. The Raven Prince who’s a fairy tale/myth people tell children of an immortal man who watches over the city. But it’s far from a myth, it’s just fallen to be that- since he’s been around that long. There’s a manor and a temple in the mountains outside the city-state, no one can find it unless he allows it. He lets two people in because they were in need of shelter (the king & his daughter: Elijah and Ada)

Would be a slow burn of an immortal man denying the adoration and love of the king despite returned feelings, Christopher let’s one of his ravens go with Ada bc they’ve bonded, and Christopher misses them both every day and vice versa.

Christopher said no because of his status and immortality, Elijah only ever thinks of him over a 10yr period. Christopher’s twin Morgan has been mortal for some time, is dating Elijah’s guard captain Mae, and boy do things get interesting when they meet

All Christopher wants is mortality finally after so long, he’s tired, he wants a family so deeply. He won’t let himself have it until he /maybe/ becomes mortal. But Elijah makes that so much harder.

[eggdrawsthings]

also sorry i wrote all of that bs but didn't even try to answer any of your questions. I've just finished the ep and was too heated at the moment lmao. I'll put them under the cut.

⚠️These are my own understandings and personal opinions. We can agree to disagree ⚠️

"so, how did the witches die" <- I'm not sure if they were dead or just knocked tf out and got crushed by the cave. That part was so weird and no one even tried to explain it. It's not from Legends lore either cuz if it is ppl would've pointed it out by now. So idk. (edit: they are dead dead, according to Leslye here x )

"Mae set the book on fire, she wanted fire, she got fire" <- She was just trying to burn the book out of anger and did not expect it to get to the power panels. She was just a kid who was so fixated on her sister leaving which led to stupid actions. We did dumb shit when we were kids and didn't think about the consequences too. She freaked out when the fire got out of control so she went to call her moms for help. She's not in the wrong here.

"How dare Indara say that she has a Padawan and Sol doesn't" <- Idk at this point if he was still a Knight or a Master, I'm going w Knight here. He was too emotionally immature, he acted rashly, judged ppl too fast, and jumped to conclusions without even thinking. Thus he is not ready to take on a padawan. Indara made a lot of good points but Sol was too fixated on the twins he didn't listen.

And not really related but why the hell they wrote the line saying he was a shy Padawan and then he's such an obsessive act- first-think-later person here. What changed? Why is he so insistent on taking in a padawan? what/who r u trying to prove to? It makes sense that after this incident, the guilt haunted him and changed him. And it makes sense why he's now so unbalanced and so protective of his kids. He didn't want to make the same mistake again. But before this shit show, was that "shy Padawan" line even necessary? Why not just say "Oh you were such a rash kid but look at you now, a wise patient Master". That would've made more sense for the story imo.

"Koril, stop yelling" <- The love of her life was killed before her eyes, her kid was gonna get taken away (even tho Osha wanted to leave), and the coven was in danger. Seeing the way she was so devoted to the coven in ep 3 (or 2? idk one of the prev flashback), and since the Jedi in her eyes rn are the enemy, I get her anger at this moment.

"Mae's at fault"<- Mae was just a kid. I believe if Mother Aniseya had had the time to sit her down and talk to her calmly, she would've understood since she loves and respects her Mother.

Again this is just a huge mess, and the clunky writing is not helping. In a perfect world, Sol should've listened to Indara and the Council and left the coven alone (he only saw a few sec of the kids tf does he even know about their life to decide what's good for them). The Jedi should've let Indara go in alone, or idk send a msg saying they wanna talk or sth instead of breaking in. Sol should've stopped Torbin and gone back, he's the adult here. Aniseya could just tell Sol she's gonna let Osha go but she needs to save the kids first. One line ain't gonna take that much time and they could both run in and save Osha tgt. Sol did want to face the Council for his wrongdoings but Indara told him to lie. A lot went wrong, and they are all humans, they made mistakes. And now it'll come crashing down on Sol.

I still love Sol as a complex character, it makes him very human, even tho a lot of it is so weirdly executed. That doesn't mean he's innocent lol. The innocent ones are Osha and Mae, and Kellnacca aksakjsdh

Egg, are you confused about episode seven of acolyte? Bcs me and my dad definitely are,

(If you haven't seen it when you see this ask go watch it first)

so, how did the witches die when Indara saved Kelnacca from their lil spell idk what to call it, AND what I'm confused abt as well is the fact that Mae set the book on fire, she wanted fire, she got fire. What else did she wanna do 🤨🤨🤨???

Sol just wanted a child, how dare Indara say that she has a Padawan and Sol doesn't 😠 leave the old man alone he wants a child. 😭

I was fr like: "Koril, stop yelling you're hurting Sol's old-man-eardrums"

They're all at fault Mae's at fault, the coven's at fault, the Jedi are also at fault.

Are you also as confused or is it just me?????

ik the writing is fucking clunky from the start but i stayed cuz of Sol and the kids interactions are so fun but now??? what the fuck was that? i have many thoughts but also none at the same time. why did they make him so obsessed with the twins after like 2 sec of seeing them in the forest? save them from what my guy diff culture has diff way to live chill tf out. i hate how everyone in this ep acted so stupid (except Kelnacca my guy was just chilling).

im gonna wait for my friend who has a bigger brain to discuss this but im so done. i shoulda listened to my gut feelings and tapped out since the last ep when the vibe got worse gdi

[wordsbymae]

hi mae!! idk if anyones asked for this before but do you think you could write something with a character of your choice spanking the reader as a punishment? the characters up to you but im so thirsty for being told what a bad girl i am rn💔 love your work!!

Hi!!! Thank you for sending this in! I couldn't decide which character so I did a few. I really hope you like this! Thank you so much! Also sorry this took me a week!

Hope don't mind I did it as fem! reader

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eli Finch:

"You just couldn't help yourself, could ya sweetheart? I told you not the talk to that Owens boy but you just had to go and flash that pearly white smile at him. He was all over you like a bad smell! And you just let him!"

"I didn't mean to Eli, I promise"

"Well here's the thing sweet pea, I think you did. I think you wanted that boy all over you and you wanted me to see it! Ya wanted to punish me didn't cha? Cause I said no to you going out with those lady friends of yours?"

"Eli-"

"Now you hold it right there darlin, I ain't done yet. I think it's my time to deal out the punishments, wouldn't cha say. Bend over my lap sweetheart, and don't forget to count."

The Mad King:

"You would betray me after all I have done for you? After I have lavished you in fine silks and rare jewels?"

"You cannot betray someone you were never loyal to."

"Then you would deny the man who treats you like a goddess among mere mortals?"

"You treat me like a pet! With your jewelled collars, and rules I must obey! Nothing more than a toy for you to show off.

"If you wish to act like a dog, then I suppose I could treat you like one. You truly have been such a naughty girl lately, I suppose spanks could fix that. Now, are you going to behave? Or must I drag you over here?"

The farmer:

"Wife, come ere"

"..."

"wife? Ya hear me?"

"I don't wanna"

"I'm gonna give you another chance pumpkin, you better take it. Now get over ere"

"Pumpkin, look at me...I'm gonna be honest with you wife, I already know you did something wrong, but I'm giving you a choice, you can tell the truth, accept your punishment and do better...or continue to lie and you're gonna be in a world of hurt. You understand pumpkin?"

"Yes, sir"

"Good girl. Now, tell me, did someone come to the house today, while I was gone?"

"...yes"

"Did ya talk to them?"

"....."

"......They needed directions and they weren't leaving unless I told them, they saw me through the window, I tried to hide promise!"

"It's okay pumpkin, I'm proud you told me the truth. But we have these rules for a reason, what if they tried to take you away from me huh? We don't want another junior deputy situation on our hands...do we?"

"No, sir"

"atta girl.....flip that dress for me and bend over the table. I think thirty will do"

[stormblessed95]

Hello!

I wanted to ask you a few questions if you don't mind!

Ok, so I have seen an anon asking around, specifically on @akookminsupporter 's blog. The anon was asking about the latest vlive they had. They talked about how V had his back turned towards JK and JK didn't look/act like himself. They further went on to state that they felt something was wrong between KM. And that they think V likes JM more than a friend and that would cause issues between them. I haven't been able to watch the vlive yet (I know, I know. Bad me lol. I'm super busy so I don't have time rn.). And I completely agree with what @akookminsupporter said about the ask. However, I would like to hear what you have to say about it and what went down in the Vlive that may have caught your attention?

And if you don't mind, could you provide a summary of what went down in the Vlive?

Also, does anyone else get confused when people pull these types of narratives out of nowhere? It was a single Vlive, but with they were talking it felt like a K-drama almost. I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I feel like this happens with every new release of content.

Hello Mae!

Everyone always wants to make a mountain out of a molehill. The vibes I got from the vlive were sleepy but happy. Some were more talkative then others but that's the norm. It doesn't have eng subs yet so I plan to rewatch when it does, but from translations on Twitter we can sum up that it was a short vlive to thank and send appreciation to ARMY for how successful Butter has been. They mention getting ready for Permission to Dance release and overall just letting us know they love us.

And it wouldn't be a Vlive with Yoongi present if he didn't get proposed to at least once! Lol I love that he gets asked for his hand in marriage every live stream. And everytime he either looks confused and concerned... or he flirts.

And Jikook were fine. Smiling at each other often. They weren't next to each other and it was a short live. What all is everyone looking for? My vminkook heart was soaring though as how endeared taekook would look at Jimin all the time. And the sweet NamKook hug at the end!

And honestly, I was very zeroed in on Jimin. Man, what in the world was going on with Jimin today. The concept photos, the vlive. Sir, close your buttons please!

Anyway... it was cute, it was short and sweet. They looked happy. They also need better WiFi. Lmao beware the glitches when you watch. They were focused on celebrating butter with ARMY, that's all. Not everything BTS releases has to or even should be the jikook show. They are still fine. Lol

[kamil-a]

using the last of my monthly wifi allotment to gowlandpost

dont worry it resets on monday. also this is mostly extremely scattered thoughts/tweet reposts sorry my brain is still a little fuzzy i wish i had the sharpness to do him justice rn but ah well

-you’ll forgive me won’t you, sister vs ‘do you think you can be forgiven’?

-i’m thinking about how alice's happiness in this ending depends on deciding for herself that lorina moved on with her life and would in turn forgive alice for moving on with her own life. she needs that guarantee. because as she’s said, she feels a responsibility to *something*, and a feeling of “i must not become happy”... she needs to imagine her sister allowing her to be happy, giving her permission to be happy. 

-"im going to pretend im being actively kept from seeing her cause she lives far away" and this are neck in neck for "REALLY REALLY CLOSE TO THE ROOT CAUSE". lorina is chilling and partying in the golden land, guys, its fine,

-also. i wonder if gowland has been an outsider’s guide before tbh? he seems to know a lot about the subject but speaks in a "you guys-" sort of way so i dont think its his own experience. maybe the previous outsider he met went home at the end...

-or, HUGE brain theory: baby gowland was baby blood's guide. im sure this ones definitely impossible im just saying words right now but it explains why blood knows gowland's deadname and why gowland knows so much about being a guide . but im just saying words i KNOW it cant have happened [telling myself not to get attatched to this one]

-i think the talk below is directly a talk about "escapist fiction enjoyment vs cruel reality". its been a loooong time but its bringing to mind the nitw "just shapes" bit, about mae realizing her favorite characters werent real and meaningless in her depressed state- an alice that chooses to fully throw herself into reality won’t give meaning to a pleasant dream. and he’s almost correct, but not quite- she chooses to wave it away as a dream in the truth ending not because it seems less important to her in comparison, but because she can’t handle that real live people were nice to her of their own free will.

-GHHHGHH SOMEBODY MAKE THIS CHOICE FOR ME SO I CAN NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR IT. i REALLY wish we'd gotten this spelled out so clearly in blood route, actually, it would have made his ending click into thematic place really well (begging for the choice to be taken away from her -> him pressuring her into marriage -> she got her wish, yknow?)

-alice has been unearthing some big future-memories, but she does inevitably hit a point where she can no longer access certain things. she has the emotions all there, but the events they relate to are locked away. OOF. why DOES she feel the need (but not the want) to go home, indeed...

-btw i paid extra attention this time- its still a bit confusing for me, but i BELIEVE her ‘current’ self refers to her repressed/regressed self, and her ‘present’ self is the self that’s been through all of her experiences. obviously this is a matter of translation and i cant speak for the original feeling, but i do like that its ‘current’ and ‘present’ and not ‘past’ and ‘future’.... like, both of these words express being in the here and now. she’s all of them.

-YOU DONT EVEN HAVE ANYBODY WAITING FOR YOU, RIGHT? gowland oh my god. you got it more than you’ll ever know.

-i’m talking about this a lot in terms of what gowland does for alice, emotionally, because it’s her POV, but i think its also important to point out that he’s really attached to her and gains a lot from her!!! he enjoys her personality and is really distressed at the idea that she thinks its all a dream. the idea of “well id never really date you but if im in a zone where its all fake and my consequences don’t matter..... then, okay” is particularly distressing to him, and i totally understand why. he was having a rough time those last few events and i totally empathized ;o;

-i cant believe how much i enjoyed this route mnvnmvjvjhfvjhfvjh

[vicdeangxo]

text: vic & molly

molly-mae: idk what I'd do you without you. you and maurs have been my rocks throughout this. everyone keeps saying it'll get easier but it's just tough rn. molly-mae: the newborn smell is heavenly, isn't it? she loves her baths. but she needs cuddles in her little towel straight after. my aquarius bby. I'll give her all the kisses for you until you see her again. molly-mae: another reason to love you loads. omg she threw a drink on you? I'm picturing this and it's kind of funny now knowing you're talking again. maybe it's the hopeless romantic in me towards everyone else's love lives but my own but I always had hope for you two. how's the chatting been going? any dates planned yet? ;) molly-mae: I just don't want a break. I already know I'll be a mess leaving her so soon. I just want to stay home with her but I know I can't. vic: good thing you never ever gotta find out. we're always going to be here for you, no matter what. it's probably going to be tough until she learns to sleep through the night, but you got this momma. vic: i'd heard about it but never thought it was an actual thing. bam bam is going to be a water baby when she grows up. she's such a cuddlebug, it's adorable. vic: to be fair, i deserved the drink being thrown on me. i was a bit of a dick and now we can both laugh about it. well, she came to see me DJ on friday and then invited me back to her place...i'm still there. we're going to counselling together, to see if we can save our relationship. she doesn't trust me yet and i know we've got a lot of work to do. i love her, molly. i really, really do. you're a hopeless romantic who also deserves love and affection. anyone that's caught your eye recently? vic: you're such a good mom and there's no one who can think otherwise. is she staying with your mom while you're on the trip?

[dabidagoose]

What's your fave video game sountrack(s)? =^o

Ok that is a very loaded question so this is gonna be a long ass response, I hope you're prepared for what you've done.

(ok there's a tl;dr at the end if you want it sorry for this lmao)

FIRST POINT my immediate thought was the Ikenfell soundtrack (actually my immediate thought is I can't fuckin' choose they're all amazing but. then ikenfell). On the personal side, I was pretty much obsessed with the game for like three months straight, and i fuckin' love aivi and surasshu's music. I am also a simp for chiptune so jot that down. Moving past what may very well just be personal preference there are some incredibly interesting musical choices and impeccable choices story-wise that hit just. SO fuckin hard. Like emotionally. I won't elaborate on to the context and why the song works so well but the final battle theme is absolutely SPECTACULAR. (I could elaborate though so. ask if you will and i'll write another spiel on why it breaks my heart and soul). But also to reference a less-plot relevant piece I'm gonna bring up Alchemy is for Everyone. The squish bass sounds at the beginning are SUCH a fun environmental sound, it is really just NOT a sound I hear often which makes the track really stand out. And it fits SO perfectly for all the slimes and just. It's so WET. I love it. Makes me wanna wriggle. Which ok is probably also personal preference on reflection because my friend hates a wet song that I love but. Ok it's GOOD. Anyways continuing to the melody the fuckin PITCH bends. This is digital music at it's peak. We get the fun sounds. We get the fuckin pitch bends. Which are so fun because having slightly out of tune notes is such a fun feeling. It's a little off kilter, it's a little different. It's just SO funky and sounds so awesome to bend those pitches just a little bit, take full advantage of the medium and play around with it. Now I'm gonna talk a bit about why I love aivi & surasshu's music so much which. Ok so I believe(?) they coined the term "digital fusion" where you're mixing all these fun fresh digital sounds with real instruments/more traditional sounds and it can work SO fuckin well (for extra musical literature on this subject I'd like to suggest Yoann Turpin and specifically Chip Ship). Which we already get a taste of that where the pitch bends are playing on piano but it really kicks in when the violin takes over the melody and it's SUCH a graceful instrument in comparison to all this funky/awkward stuff we've had. The dichotomy is fuckin awesome. The violin is like a graceful victorian socialite ballroom dancing in after these pitch bends just pinned their arms to their sides and wiggled their hips around. We then get a third spacey instrument (I. have no idea what it is.) and it is. SUCH a switch. We have moved from awkward and stilted to almost too perfect and graceful (I forgot to write before but the high piano at the violin adds so much) to a moment of awe and discovery. We are now exploring the universe, the world of science and alchemy, and it is fantastic. The song almost seems to have it's own little narrative, and this is just a backing track for exploring one of the buildings!!!! This is within the first couple hours of gameplay, it is incredibly non-plot-relevant but SUCH a piece of art. I am absolutely in a slime ball watching amazing science happen so precisely and it is. so fuckin cool. And I could probably go off about every single other song, but in the interest of keeping away spoilers and finishing this post before 2 am, I will not. (Addendums because I can: this is less wet than the one my friend hates, and also this song is MOIST. I would also like to mention It's Showtime and Between the Lines as other song favorites but if I went into them I would never sleep.)

Okokokok. So. So SECOND point (I'm. so sorry.) I looked at my video game music soundtrack (I have two main soundtracks one for just every music but I didn't want to overwhelm it with VG music so I made one just for that that has ENTIRE soundtracks from almost every game I've played which. oops.) and I found two other contenders based mostly on I Really Liked The Games. The Oneshot soundtrack and the Night in the Woods soundtrack. Ok I'm gonna talk about Night in the Woods first cause HOLY shit. holy shit. The fucking astral songs. Those are fucking masterpieces. Such a simple ensemble but it creates such an INTENSE atmosphere. I really love instrumental music can you tell. I specifically want you listening to Astral Train for this one (played it for my senior recital and even though I had to play the violin part on clarinet I maintain it was one of the best choices I've ever made), but we the way the layers blend together is a fucking masterpiece. Since this song had to be designed so that any layer could play alone and each one could join in any order, each part of the quartet has to be interesting, but they still all must blend together and so they each get melody moments but the harmony/bass lines have to be interesting as well and. They ARE. This is such a hard task and it's accomplished SO. INCREDIBLY. WELL. (Side note: also makes for a good ensemble piece for, say, your and your friends' senior recitals, so everyone gets fun parts, a chance in the limelight, and a chance to rest, haha totally irrelevant note right there definitely no connection to my real life). With Astral Train we really get this cool ghostly train feel and through all the Astral pieces we REALLY feel the absolute intensity of Mae's dreams and the music creates such an immaculate vibe. It is unmatched. The rest of the soundtrack contains plenty of bops in a variety of genres too, where the bass songs have to be both playable and fun (Die Anywhere Else my beloved), and we get nostalgic and mischievous music fit for this ragtag team. This is the feeling I've had hanging out with my teenage friends at 10 PM in a parking lot. It is absolutely perfect for this video game. The music is SUCH a bop and really emotionally connects to me cause the game is such a bop of a plot. It is truly fantastic. (Addendum: Ok listening to Gregg rn and. Holy shit bop. I love him. I love this)

Ok now onto Oneshot, which, admittedly, does not have as strong a holding on the podium as these other two do, but curse me for having been emotionally destroyed by the video game because now I am emotionally attached to the music too. But, again, ATMOSPHERE. I am once again gonna be speaking in the interest of spoilers here, so I hope anyone who's finished the game will forgive what I'm not saying, but the entire landscape of this desolate planet is just SO much. The world is so simple and empty, and yet awe is often mixed with this feeling of despair. This is incredibly fitting for Niko, for the hopeful little pal they are, and creates an incredible effect. (I included specific song reccs for the last but I don't quite for this - so I'll just say now that I'm listening to On Little Cat Feet). The visuals are fairly simple, the map small, and just looking at the game the world feels incredibly small. But the music makes it all seem so vast. We really get put into Niko's shoes (or their little cat feet I suppose), and get to see this world for the vast, terrifying, but incredible place it is. The music makes you feel like that child seeing a new world for the first time, (this isn't spoilers past the first chapter but I'm warning you anyways) even though you are meant to be a god, you are still made to feel small and the world still large. The music does so much of this work, and it's incredible. Throughout the soundtrack the underlying angst, the despair, remains present, and the game has so much more impact for the music. No game is incomplete without it's music, and Nightmargin does a fantastic job creating this music for Oneshot. I haven't analyzed the actual music instruments/structure so much, but it's those instrumental sounds again tearing at my heart strings again. I would also like to recommend this game beyond the soundtrack, since it is an incredible story, with some puzzling gameplay, and it has made me feel how no other game has. It is a masterpiece of a game, and I implore everyone to play it through. Get hints if you need to, or play alone, just make it to the Ending. You'll know when you're there. (Addendum: I think I'm very repetitive here but I refuse to edit it so you have to live with this. Anyways gonna say it again: Play Oneshot!!)

Now I have chosen three game soundtracks that had a story that incredibly connected with me, and music to bolster that story and those emotions in incredibly meaningful ways. But there are so many others with great music, but that didn't necessarily connect on such an emotional level. Portal and Portal 2 have fantastic soundtracks, Celeste has beautiful music, Underhero has some funky and spectacular beats, Undertale and Deltarune are famously incredible (although I also did emotionally connect with them... but they're already talked about enough. Lancer beloved.), Clam Man is just. Fun., Oxenfree is also incredibly atmospheric and spectacular, Sewer Rave just has nice beats, and Minecraft is nostalgic as all hell. There are so many games to choose from, that from the moment I saw your question I knew I would be writing a far too long Tumblr post to answer you, because it feels an injustice to just answer one without reasoning, or without bringing to light all of the other amazing sounds I've discovered.

To finally answer your question, I think Ikenfell deserves the top spot in my heart. My instinct was right, there's fresh sounds, great musical structure (see: Between the Lines that I didn't elaborate on), incredibly emotional sounds, and fantastic storytelling within the soundtrack. But I love all of these other soundtracks, so I must bring them up. For they also have spots in my heart.

TL;DR - Ikenfell wins but I also love Oneshot and Night in the Woods and many others so I don't know what to say chief (lies i have too much to say)