#but it would be unfair to his family
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you and your f/o(s) finally have time to relax and decides to take some extra days off this festive season! where are you going and what will you be doing? 🌴
no pressure in answering, and please take your time! <3
Hi Rin!! <3 I'm finally getting to this ask, sorry for taking so long because I absolutely knew I wanted to answer this when you sent it! 😭💕
Alhaitham and I would just spend the holidays at home. Just him and I (and maybe Kaveh, he's allowed because he is babygirl). We would spend the time before the holidays just decorating the house and baking cookies. Reading, watching our favorite shows, cooking some good food, or ordering takeout. Just... generally treating ourselves to some downtime. (the baking and decorating are mostly initiated and done by me... this man would not decorate on his own nu-uh but Kaveh and I would be all over it).
I tend to get really sad/depressed on Christmas Day for personal reasons so he would just be there for me and spoil me to get my mind off the sad things. Even though it will take some effort to do that but he will go the extra mile because it's me 🥺
Especially with Kaveh also there, there will be enough bickering and life in the house that I will have no time to even waste a thought on being sad.
I think I'd like to invite Cyno, Tighnari and Collei over for a Christmas Dinner as well. We could play card games and all sorts of fun stuff together until late at night. They all leave in high spirits and me and Haitham just tiredly fall into the bed after and cuddle until we both fall asleep. 🥺💕
Not me crying because I wish this was my actual Christmas, brb
Wriothesley and I would probably do the same in prep for Christmas. Baking, decorating, spending time together. We would go to the Christmas market, drink some mulled wine and he'd have to borderline carry me home after because I get tipsy from the stuff so fast but always insist on drinking some every year lmao.
On the day of Christmas we'd just spend the time together preparing some fancy dinner just for the two of us while listening to music and dancing in the kitchen (it's a whole concert). We're not stressing over anything and just go with the flow since we both didn't really celebrated Christmas as a child we just live our best life now and turn the holiday into what we would like it to be. We just chat the evening away over dinner and then watch a movie together on the couch while cuddling up to each other. I will eventually fall asleep because I know myself and he carries me into our shared bed and tucks us in 🥺💕
#🍁 dust mail#🍁 dust moots#🍁 garden visitor: meimeimeirin#can you tell I'm torn on Christmas?#I just want to have a calm holiday with my bf#but my family is... *sigh* I'll not go into detail#let's just say it's complicated#and his family isn't#I have to meet expectations and can't really spend it with him#I just wish we could fuck off and spend it alone just the two of us#but it would be unfair to his family#because they're not.... whatever my family is#not me crying writing these hcs down either#nope not me#sigh... I hope things will get better once I'm done studying and we move away from here#I just hate it#but enough whining#channeling positive energy now *inhales*#thank you for the question rin!! This was cute#even though I sobbed a bit sdkhfsjdk
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I think people forget with Cullen, and characters like Cullen, that indoctrination is a thing. We're lucky to live in an age where we have a surplus of access to resources that allow us to think critically on the structures around us, to the point where we overlook that most people won't and haven't. Cullen was raised in a backwater village where the main educators and leaders were Templars. He was likely taught scripture by Chantry Sisters, he possibly learned to read and write through them. From the day he was born, he was being taught to love and obey the Chantry with out question--and the Chantry teaches that Templars are a force of good.
So I ask you, how the hell was Cullen, at eight or thirteen years old, going to learn about the crimes of Templars? How was he going to unlearn propaganda that was fed him to him every day by people he respected and possibly loved? How was he supposed to be aware that this idolized image of Templars being the saviors of the people and even mages was a lie?
And then he gets shipped off, happily, to be trained a Templar. Again, he's put into this position where he's fed nothing but propaganda. He doesn't get a real taste of the Order being corrupted until he's out in Kinloch and he's not sure what the hell to do because what he's seeing isn't jiving with what he's been taught for nearly two decades. So yeah, he tries to justify it, he tries to have his cake and eat it too by reasoning that mages should be treated like people but also the Order wouldn't lie to him, so they must be right to act like this. The Maker always had a plan, right?
If Cullen had been lucky, maybe he could have realized earlier on that the Order was abusing mages, that he had been tricked, he could have gotten out and unlearned the bigotry that was planted inside him.
But then BAM! the Broken Circle happened and I don't see how no one gets how perfect this is for the Order? They now have a templar that is so traumatized by mages, he will literally do and say anything to justify their abuses because now? Now he's afraid.
And remember, after Origins, Cullen becomes so erratic, he has to be sent off to a Chantry to 'even him out'--where he was more than likely manipulated even further by the Chantry to be this blood thirsty agent for them. When he's shipped to Kirkwall, they could have not delivered to Meredith a better second in command.
So yeah, is it really surprising that he says shit like 'mages aren't people like you and me' when we meet him in Kirkwall? Man is sleep depraved by the looks of him, swallowing all Meredith's frenzied rhetoric on blood mages, he's seeing for himself the damage these mages are doing, he's isolated from his family, he has no actual friends, and he's living with C-PTSD among other issues. Even under the best of conditions, none of what he says or does in DA2 is surprising when you put it all together.
And yet, the man still had enough of that idealistic child left in him to realize see that Meredith was going off the deep end and that he should be protecting the mages. That's text. That's in World of Thedas. The reason why Cullen is able to turn on Meredith in the end is because he was able to see, even clouded by his fear and hatred, that what she was doing was wrong.
And all this isn't to excuse Cullen's wrongs. It's weird how every time someone brings up Cullen's history, it's assumed that it's just a justification for his actions. It's not, it's an an explanation. Cullen was a victim of the Order that became an abuser, a tool, and he is responsible for his actions.
But the thing is, by DAI, Cullen is well aware of his sins and he actively works to better himself by leaving the Order and getting off lyrium (which for most people is a death sentence). People can argue all day about whether or not Cullen's arc in DAI redeems him or was satisfying, or if he did enough to 'prove' that he was sorry or--good god--does he deserve redemption in the first place (which is such a Catholic way of looking at shit by the way; no one 'deserves' redemption; you do it to be better or you fucking don't) but the fact is that Cullen says that he wants to be better, that he sees the Order as--at the very least--flawed.
That, yes, he's still unlearning all the bigotry he held as a younger man and he's ashamed that he was like that to begin with.
You can hate him all you like, and whatever, but Cullen's story--intentionally or not--is about a man born into an oppressive society, raised to uphold its beliefs, used and abused by it, and then awakening to those lies and trying to free himself from those beliefs so he could be a better person.
And sometimes I genuinely wonder if the reason so many people hate Cullen is because they themselves might have dealt with something similar in our own oppressive society where they also had to unlearn harmful bigotry and maybe, just maybe, he hits too close to home.
#cullen rutherford#writing#this about this guy again and how he gets such an unfair shake when I know for a fact a good portion of us are no better#you can say you are that you would know as a CHILD that this was wrong but hahaha I guess some of us aren't able to see through propaganda#man is nuanced as hell and the statements 'Cullen was a victim who was brainwashed by the Chantry' and 'Cullen is a grown man who actively#hurt mages for his own selfish reasons' can co exist quite easily#you know like how Blackwall also killed an entire family for money and yet has spent years trying to atone for that mistakes#anyway I'm right get out of my house
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i think what Jason wants (from Bruce at least) is to be loved transcendentally. he wants to be loved with earth shattering intensity, the kind that'll raze the world to the ground when lost and inspire greatness when present. Jason wants to mean something and to matter more than anything except for (maybe) another (worthy) human. Jason wants to be shown love in the way that he experiences love. but that kind of exclusive focus is impossible when your dad is Batman.
#Jason is the pathos of the batfam#Dick is also more pathos than logos but like he also didn't die so#and yes i'm mangling i'm doing it on purpose#Jay would die in a heartbeat for his family#and probably do any number of awful things#and what he wants is reciprocity#I see his as very much the kind to not ask anything of anyone that he isn't willing to do himself#but also expects others to live up to his morals#or standards or however#so he's not exactly fair but not entirely unfair either#idk there's a ton of posts right now on Jason's ideas about love and I also have a ton of thoughts myself#the dude is fucking intense#and speakign from experience#it's fuckign hard when that kind of intensity is one sided#even when you know it's unfair to expect it of the other party#jason todd#batfam
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Philza Year Wrap
All my Philza designs for my AUs. Or the more interesting ones, limited space and all that.
From left to right:
Dragon + scaled is from Fault
Lab coat is from Where, then, do your loyalties lie?
Antlers is from Lord, what fools these mortals be!
Suit is from Mandatory Family Reunion
Lantern is from Lighting Lanterns to Bring You Home
Ragged Crow is from Golden Apples (Gilded Atrophy)
And silly little interaction page!
#im sad to say thats probably the best gun I've ever drawn and you can barely even tell#it's almost unfair how much cooler his drip is compared to Tommy#Mfr doing 👉👈 with a gun is my favorite#Philza#philza minecraft#philza fanart#philza fanfic#Mumza#mumza fanart#I love how much prettier Lord!’s wings are compared to Golden Apple’s#Also Fault would totally murder Loyalties no question about it#“YOU WORK FOR THE FOUNDATION!?”#“Yeah neither of us are happy about it mate!”#Tw blood#tw gun#Oh my god I forgot Lord!’s wings in one panel oops lol#fault au#mandatory family reunion#something to nom on
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i think human nature/family of blood is a really good two parter in how it manages to show how full of shit ten is 🫶
#look . i LOVE ten . esp whatevers going on w him in s3 he's horrible and i like that#but just !! martha :(#its so incredibly unfair to martha he doesnt unleash his wrath on the Family he chooses to hide instead and okay yeah fair#and sure u can say the tardis chose the setting and time period for them to hide in but like#did that not filter in to his calculations he went through all that turned himself human put his friendship with martha to the test in#the worst way possible. knowing she wouldn't let herself leave him even if he was Abhorrent towards her (and he was) because#of her duty to the universe and beyond and whatever . to blend in and keep the Family off their tails#and she's put in a demeaning position and degraded and even he doesn't seem to care much for her but she still hangs on#and then in the end its like its all for naught. all that pain and suffering martha went through being the only one w her wits about her#he had the capacity to deal w the threat the whole time he had the ability to dole out a horrible punishment he could definitely#have dealt with them a different way than that too .#and instead in his quest to be the bigger person he ends up putting martha through the horrors and then#does the same with the Family anyway ! i dont think he can ever tell her how harshly he dealt with them#surely this isnt an original thought im just thinking Way too much about blue moon by niki#he Does care more about being good than being good to her specifically !! and its so upsetting theyre so volatile i miss them#its more complicated than that sure but at the same time. it sort of isnt .#anyway martha jones my love my life u deserved at least a billion apologies alongside the thanks like god . whats wrong w him#oh and also he wants to move on without properly talking about it . act as if it never happened#like girl be fucking considerate for ONCE she just went through a personal hell for you !!! how insanely lonely she must of been#i dont believe martha ever let him just brush past it w no acknowledgement like yes i think she definitely didnt want to discuss the#accidental confession but i Do think she would sit him down to finally get him to Accept he cant just take her wherever in the past#if he's not ready to look out for her . its a vital conversation i think they need to have otherwise martha would just walk out there#not even love could make her stay through that its been established already she has the strength to try walk away#and also to try and but through his bullshit and demand answers . and here more than ever she deserves his acknowledgement and he Knows it
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Am I the only one that really struggles with the idea of Radskier's current relationship status being listed as "Ex-Lovers" in the shipping wiki, or...?
#Radskier#Radovid#Jaskier#I tried negotiating for “Maybe-Lovers” but failed...#Like I understand that they are facing an uncertain future#But they made it pretty clear they still have feelings for each other and do want to be together...#It's just that Jaskier needs to first make sure his family is safe...#Realistically he could very much wind up dead while trying to rescue Ciri before they have a chance to take things between them any further#So he can't really promise Radovid anything and it would be kind of unfair to “keep him waiting”...#And sadly Radovid's own attempt to run away from his life at court to be with Jaskier was thwarted by as slight case of#Acute Dead Kingnitis#Somehow#it feels like saying: Romeo and Juliet stopped being lovers and became exes the moment they encountered#challenges and obstacles preventing them from being together...#I... Yeah. Something just doesn't sit right.#I'd literally put “Uncertain” as their current status then.#But “exes”?#Really?#It sounds so final and like they're totally done with each other already!#Unless people are using a different definition than mine when they are talking about exes...#Exes just feel so weird man...#My Posts#My thoughts#That are like 99% in the tags...
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Anthony Ainley guests as medical specialist Josef Kerston, a doctor but also (shock!) a villain, in The Adventurer: The Bradley Way (1.4, ITC, 1972)
#fave spotting#anthony ainley#the adventurer#doctor who#the master#ainley!master#classic doctor who#itc#1972#the bradley way#perhaps villain is a little unfair; it's briefly established that Ainley's doctor is a genuine medical professional whose involvement in#the villains' plot is because of pressure being applied on his family behind the iron curtain (so... does Gene defeating the#baddies plan get Ainley's family killed?? who knows‚ but i can't imagine it would lose Mr World's Greatest Everything any sleep)#he may not have been The Master yet but Ainley was a fairly regular face on tv at this point in his career. earlier in 72 he'd been a#co lead in ATV's spy thriller Spyder's Web‚ as well as recently guesting in high profile series like Elizabeth R‚ The Shadow of the Tower#and Out of the Unknown. he'd even recently made film appearances‚ with strong roles in The Blood on Satan's Claw and Assault#really this was his busiest period; by the time he was making Dr Who Ainley was more or less financially secure and didn't need to work#(famously he just absolutely loved being The Master‚ and it was more or less all he did from the 80s onwards until the end of the classic#series secured his retirement). i can't honestly say that he attacks this role in the same way as he did the Master‚ but then it's not much#of a part all told; he's just there to be doctorly and occasionally suggest sinister things are afoot. but always nice to see him pop up
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"X is just a guy" is a popular phrase to throw around these parts when talking about blorbos, but I swear, and I am 100% stone faced serious when I say this, not a single character has ever done it quite like Geralt from The Witcher books.
#sure your guy is maybe just a normal man in an unfair supernatural circumstance#but is acknowledgent of his guyhood a conclusion of a gut wrenching character study about trauma personal and generational#about the lies we tell ourselves so we can ignore the hurt we feel#did your guy spend the entire story desperately dehumanizing himself clinging to his alledged non-personhood#did he insist at every opportunity and despite an overwhelming mountain of evidence to the contrary that his torturers were successful#that they did make him into a monster without feelings without morals without future#are the people who did this to him the only family he ever had and the only people who would ever accept him now that he's this?#did they also go through the exact same process themselves do they genuinely love him on top of that?#does your guy reference his acquired infertility every time the topic of sex comes up#only to end up raising a daughter with the equall infertile love of his life?#does he defy his non human credo all the time by being unable to stop being kind an empathetic#and never acknowledges it because he can't bear thinking of himself as anything but ''a witcher''?#is he just a guy?#geralt of rivia#the witcher#the witcher books
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Just personal thoughts about Bobby's... Goodbye today.
#qsmp#his death was justified by his recklessness#it hurts. it feels unfair. it is sad#but its also like something that would happen. bad things happen all the time and people that don't deserve it die.#in a way bobby chose this#and im actually glad that it was his adventurous soul that took him from us rather than the immortal code#because even when its really sad. at least we know that he died doing what he liked the most#that being said.#Roier was so brave for Jaiden. he cares so much about her. he loves his family SO MUCH. he knows there's nothing else to do and STILL#mi hermano. me rompió el corazón verlo aguantarse las lágrimas y como dijo. es el rol pero de verdad estoy triste#Jaiden. my god jaiden was so brave too. i cant imagine the pain of losing someone so loved. of having to LET GO. even when you know#you know they are there. so close and yet unreachable#la familia mas bonita del qsmp les queda pequeño. de verdad que demostraron una fuerza y un amor inigualables#y Bobby. nuestro bobby chingón. le robaste el corazón a todos en el server. le robaste el corazón a miles de personas#no voy a ver un Bobberol de la misma forma nunca. eres un huevito maravilloso. gracias por todo
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See this is what I hate when people know I’m off from work. It allows them to call me and ask me to do shit for them. Like no sir, I’m off so I can destress and sort out my own shit not yours. And yet, another call this week, another crap added to my plate. Which just throws that whole trying to destress part out of the way.
#I’ve got an older brother that just gets to live his life while I’m stuck having to deal with all our family stuff and it’s unfair that I#get all the burden of handling it all#it’s too much sometimes#like for once I would love to feel supported not always being the one doing the supporting
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also if you're comparing jc saving an innocent living human child to jc keeping a weapon used to murder someone then im a little concerned about your framing of this supposedly noble act. if he keeps the flute to have it in his rooms and obsess over how much he hates wwx and dwell in his bitterness and grief then how does that translate to how he treats the child he has under his care who also reminds him of wwx
#I feel like that would translate to really harsh and unfair treatment#and bitterness. like lsz being raised by someone who hates his catetakers and who advocates for the murder of him and his entire famy#family* is not a heartwarming prospect??? jc doesnt even treat his own nephew well. wwx would have come back to a kid even more traumatized#and abused than he already had been#by abuse im referring to the jins abuse of power btw. not the wens themselves ofc they never would hurt him#but he IS and abused child and jc is literally the last person in the world you'd want taking care of him. esp since hes a wen#hed grow up not knowing why jc hates him so much or what he did wrong and maybe even boundby the same debt that kept wwx himself w thejiang#with no siblings either. bro that's so miserable to contemplate#cql txp
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IGNORE ME I'M SORRY I KEEP TALKING ABT IT i'm just so not used to my cat not being around and it kinda kills me inside to not hear him walking around or meowing or sleeping at the bottom of the staircase anymore... it used to be like a nightly routine where i'd go downstairs and make myself a drink and give him some water and now i just. don't even wanna go down there anymore.
#you really underestimate how different things will be when they're gone. 18 years of learning his new routines and favorite places to nap#and it's just all. gone. not like i didn't experience it but just the fact that i will never experience it with him again... it's so hard#& that's like the last vestige of my childhood gone too. i mean i got my current dog when i was around 13/14 and she's gettin' up there too#so it's just like. my life dropped out from under me and i'm desperately clinging to what is left but there's not much#everything feels so hollow and i don't know hoe to vocalize that because my family is always trying so hard to heal and i don't want to#make their grief process any harder by accidentally awakening the same latent feelings in them. or whatever#i just miss him so so much but i know we made the right choice. he was old and we had a lot of good years together and we saved him from#spending his last few days in suffering by ending his pain early and offering him as much love and warmth and comfort as we could#and i know he appreaciated it and i know he loves us all and like that's not the part i have issue with#it's just. his lack of presence. i don't deny that his ghost may be around (my famjly is very spiritual like that and i have heard him) but#physically he's gone forever except for chunks of his fur and whatever else is laying around#loss is just so fucking unfair because it's completely understandable and makes total sense but it will never ever be unable to be felt...#idk. i'm just exhausted and sad and i miss my little guy. hell i still miss my dog and that happened like 5 years ago#love never goes away it just changes shaoe and makes you really really sad and kinda wanna kill youself but that would make THEM sad#so. you gotta live. you gotta be brave.
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Hm. Something I’ve been thinking about (since I never shut up about Miguel apparently) is the idea that maybe there’s not supposed to be, to his understanding of what happened, a singular canon event that he breaks when dipping dimensions, it’s more the idea that he “breaks” canon by no longer being present to carry out his own canon events, by wanting something outside of what was apparently predestined to him, and the universe punished him for it.
I broke [canon] once myself, he says, but he doesn’t name the event even as the examples he pulls up are labelled.
Perhaps the “event”, as the characters perceive it, could just be something as simple as by virtue of replacing alt!Miguel he negated the intended effect of the man’s death upon the world around him.
But I just wonder. Because the way Miguel speaks of this to Miles portrays his own wanting for something different as being what he thinks invoked that destruction.
“We all want to live the life we wish we had, believe me I’ve tried. And the harder I tried, the more damage I did. You can’t have it all, kid.”
I wanted something more, but Spider-Man’s fate is set. Any and all events, regardless of their nature. And defying that fate, trying to live a life beyond what it asked of me killed people.
If you alter your course from canon in any way, you hurt people.
#tunes talks spiderverse#long post#idk idk just thinking thoughts#I find it interesting to think of different ways we can interpret the same information#interpret the characters’ thinking in different ways#maybe they DO think alt!Miguel’s death was a canon event and our Miguel just didn’t know at the time#but i wonder. considering there’s a big overhanging metanarrative question about the purpose of suffering in spiderman stories#- asking us who suffers (Gwen being constantly fridged) and why -#it could be a matter of the characters thinking if they try escape or outwit ‘predetermined’ suffering the universe will only take more from#you#it’s so interesting to me because Miguel pre-dimension dip left because he felt such an absence of joy in his life#he was deeply unhappy and wanted something as simple as a happy family life#he doesn’t WANT to be in pain. some part of him resents the idea that this seems to be his lot in life#he resents it as much as Miles does. but he believes he needs to bear it because look what happened when u wanted better you hurt people#and like. have yammered about this in a previous post but I think part of his nasty rant at Miles is abt offloading some of that suppressed#resentment for the toll this fate has taken on him onto Miles#he blames Miles because Miles is THERE. you can control that at least. it’s not the intangible cosmic force that would apparently as soon as#murder you than change#it’s unfair of him to do so (offload onto Miles I mean) DEEPLY unfair and inappropriate behaviour.#but also god. is the desire not to hurt anymore so human. is the idea of RESENTING that hurt being ur lot in life human#the narratives…they’re foiling….
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honestly, it's really interesting thinking about how the events of the desert dream in 1998 would get blown out of proportion in the coming years ; hell, it already kinda is twenty-four hours later. not only does the fbi get involved ( and they get involved quick ) but the entire thing is immediately labeled as 'the desert dream massacre' which is ... simply not true. if tyler doesn't kill joyce and michelle isn't shot then the total body count is four cops, with two on life support from the motel burning down. this is literally confirmed in game!
events get labeled as massacres if there's a huge body count, or if it's violent enough. the desert dream killings were neither. all the victims were shot, usually at a distance, or they suffered from burns ; which, while violent, it was more of an escape attempt on the holts' part than anything else. i also find it telling that, even if the holts kill a hostage or two, agent bradley doesn't bother mentioning that in private. all he cares about is the cops lost to the standoff. it's no surprise that killing an officer will get you a more severe punishment then if you kill a regular person, that it can sometimes send you straight to death row on its own, but the fact they don't even care about the deaths of any of the hostages ... it sure is something.
especially since the only hostage deaths in the desert dream can turn the only two kids in the game into orphans. or on the flip side, if the holts didn't harm a hostage, there's no mention of that either. or how the hostages were treated, which compared to usual hostage situations, they got it better than most. it's just the fact that they killed cops ( who were under the thumb of a corrupt sheriff, by the way ) that made this into a massacre. though i wouldn't be surprised if to the public the force would then heavily focus on any other victims, that's usually what happens normally, after all.
anyway, point is, classism does play a role in how cases and crimes are treated -- especially back then. the holts were poor, notoriously so, and they were a family full of drop-outs with nothing to their names. the very second they escape the motel, their names are plastered all over the country and their fates ( including jay's, who's merely an eighteen year old who was an accomplice at best ) are decided : they're going straight to death row. even if jay tries to do the right thing and come clean to agent bradley, tries to turn on his family, said guy immediately goes to pin all the murders on him, for seemingly no reason at all! it's very unjust, and ah ... shady!
the news and papers hype up their crime spree and i wouldn't be shocked that within a couple years, the holts would be presented as bloodthirsty rednecks who were simply greedy rather than a family that didn't have any help and got in way over their heads. the narrative would be twisted so much, especially if three of the holts were never found. there'd be no word from their side, no mention of the thugs who were threatening to kill them, just a true crime story where they were at the forefront of a very unfortunate situation and got away with it. leaving gossips to fill in the blanks as they please, and considering the police's and the fbi's behavior towards this case, they would only fuel the narrative that the holts were a family who did all this on purpose and relished in the aftermath, a family who loved doing the crime.
anyway, it's just something i love thinking about for post canon stuff when it comes to my adf muses. how wildly inaccurate the story's become in time, simply because people got bored or because of the classism back then that was so woven into the broadcasted crime that it's become impossible to separate the two. they'd paint the holts out to be wildly dangerous, cruel individuals and probably spin tales about unsolved murders and robberies and how it could be the work of a holt who had got away. their entire motivation would be obscured and would've gone unsaid, leaving random civilians and a force who hates them to speak for them instead. it'd be a whole thing! and the desert dream was dramatic, sure, but by the time everything is said and done you'd probably barely recognize what the media was talking about had you actually been there.
#╰ * OOC : mun ⧽ ramblings of a fevered spirit .#(( don't mind me ... just musing about this because i find it endlessly fun haha#like. cannot stress enough tyler getting death row makes sense but JAY?#the fact they literally frame him for everything ... even if he hasn't committed a single murder ... speaks volumes imo#they did not care about any of the holts being innocent nor their reasons they wanted them to suffer that's it!#except sharon who doesn't get death row for some reason? like ... this entire case is so unfair and makes no sense#it's the way dante threatens the lives of all the hostages way more than the holts ever did and still got to keep his badge#as well as his corruption and assault on the motel not being brought up to the public. it's a matter that gets privately dealt with#like ugghh it really is about how little the justice system cares for poor people.#it's about how the holts felt like they had to deal with their lives being threatened by themselves!#they didn't feel like they could go to the police! or publicly ask for help! they didn't think there was another way#and in the end their original plan was harmless and was only hurting someone who deserved it ... they didn't just rob some establishment#they robbed a sheriff their ma had history with and who was literally corrupt#anyway. anyway! as much as it's crazy to me how the media would run with this story and make it about a family that was simply deranged#it's also ... fun to think about <3 for the victims of the desert dream and the holts#not only do they all have to live with this traumatic event that's changed all of them forever#they have to also live with a fabricated version of it -- a warped version of themselves being presented#imo this sleepy town in arizona was simply bored and they had one huge thing happen to them and so they exaggerated details#and the cops were just. well cops about it <3#ahem anyway your muse knowing about the desert dream from what the public's painted it out to be when? :smirk: ))#tw long post
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i finished origins again :(
#the last bit of the epilogue when ur warden is queen? makes me giggle and then cry immediately#also nathaniel makes me so angry#i don't really like having him in my party w a cousland#just. feels off#like yea he'd been in the free marches for 8 years but he's still howe's son#and i feel like anything good that happens to him makes rhiannon furious#she's petty and angry and wants him to suffer like she did#but she does realize that its unfair to him which is why she holds him at arms length#idk hearing him complain about how his family name is mud is kinda like. a cousland would not sit here and listen to this lol#ESPECIALLY not rhia. she's gonna smash ur skull into the keep walls if you keep saying it was war#anyway. w any other warden he's likable#but. i have thoughts#i feel like rhia is so much prettier in awakening.... is it the lighting or is it the knowledge that im almost done w her playthrough again#she is for sure my canon warden ive never played 1 character more than once and this would be my 3rd time#rhiannon elethea aurelia cousland my beloved...#also i want to post screenshots of her caus e she's so pretty but i have Reasons not too#to#i love her so much she's so angry 💖#wytxt
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I feel like when ppl say tim is neglected it makes his story more boring but I also acknowledge my interpretation of it is like. More ‘what feelings would make sense based on what happened’ as opposed to ‘how can I justify the abandonment issues I see everyone else saying he has?’
#like for me I think a big deal for tim is that he had it good and wanted more#and the guilt that comes from that as more people keep dying around him#his friends his family strangers HIS ENEMIES#which. not too much positivity but I really like the care tim has for his enemies SORRY#thats smth ill give him a 10 on#i hate ppl pretending it was there from the start#like tim had to kinda learn empathy but that’s mostly like. writer classism misogyny racism shining through#but when he got there HE GOT THERE!#I’ll give u a 9 on that#Uhm anyways for me every hero has a guilt complex somewhere#i think tims stems from his unfair (eh. depends) resentment of the people in his life listening to him and taking him seriously#not bc he doesn’t want to be listened to or taken seriously#but bc to him every single issue boils down to when he chose Robin over the good life he could’ve had which he would never CHANGE#but To me in his darkest moments he can’t help a ‘I would never let a kid do this’#and It’s like. he sees everyone else who arguably started worse off than he did and hates himself for choosing this#hed never choose otherwise but he wonders if everyone else sees him as the PRETENDER he is! yeah u see okay#that’s why replacement doesn’t hit for me btw#anyways I lost my train of thought#OH#this is why i dislike trying to give Tim tragic home life#like it wasn’t THE BEST but it wasn’t some terrible lonely tragedy#it was ok. he chose greatness and tragedy over okay and now he has to deal with it. he made that choice at 13 and now he has to deal with it#forever.#that should be the crux of his issues as an adult to me idk#but not forreal#i think he should be hyperfocusing on that to avoid the real truth that he doesn’t want to move forward bc big changes lead to death for him#but yknow diff story#i think I said smth in the post and spoke about smth completely diff in the tags#just pretend it’s two different posts.#this was a lot of tim positivity…I need a shower.
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