#but it will be okay cause i can always revisit it and be comforted by it

[herstrayskies]

April 2nd

"I met Yato again today! He played dumb at first, which made me laugh."

Thanks for everything, Noragami.

[notjustjavierpena]

Parents

Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost | Support a disabled creator

A/N: Merry belated Christmas from me! I know this is my second Christmas fic this time around but I finally got the courage to write about Wife’s awful parents. 

Summary: Javier puts his foot down during Christmas with your toxic family. 

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader/you (no y/n)

Tags: Toxic family dynamics, psychological abuse, childhood trauma, Christmas, conflict and confrontation, sobbing, declarations of love, hurt/comfort, body/fat shaming

Word count: 5.7k

Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61942318

Parents

You get a call from your parents’ home number a few weeks before Christmas. Your mother and father haven't actually bothered seeing you since your wedding day last year but Lucas is four months old now and there’s suddenly a strange interest from them in being grandparents to your firstborn. Somehow, they talk you into spending Christmas with them and reassure you that they’ll take care of everything as long as you bring their grandson. The whole idea causes a ball of anxiety to settle in your stomach, almost imitating getting hit right in the solar plexus with how much your breath struggles to even out as you tell Javier about it. Your husband agrees reluctantly but not without raising a concerned brow, asking you several times - and with days between each time - if you are absolutely sure. 

He even asks you now as he parks the car in your parents’ driveway, looking at you with a serious expression, brows furrowed while you sit stiffly in the passenger seat. You glance towards the front door, trying to act casual as if you’re staring at a wild animal who might pounce if it notices your anxiety. It is an odd feeling you get, staring at your childhood home but feeling more as if it is the scene of a crime. This house is not a memory of warm and fuzzy feelings but rather a place of constant criticism and unjust pain. 

Javier says your name softly beside you. On the backseat, Lucas hiccups.

“Do I look okay?” You quickly ask instead of acknowledging the tone of his voice, fixing your hair without changing anything. 

“Yeah,” he answers and tries not to comment on your nerves, “You look beautiful, mi amor (my love).”

The call from two weeks ago had your shoulders tensing up before you even answered the phone but the way they had reasoned you into revisiting the place of your hardest years has made your shoulders not come down again. 

You sigh gently and unbuckle your seatbelt, “Okay. I can do this for just an afternoon. Let’s get this over with.”

You climb out of the car, Javier following you after carefully unbuckling Lucas and cradling him in one arm while balancing the diaper bag on the other shoulder. You leave his car seat, knowing how much easier it would have been to transport your son inside in it but Lucas has been fussy all night. You really wish he hadn’t because you don’t want to go inside with only half the energy that a good night’s sleep could have provided. 

As you ring the doorbell, you take a look at Javier one last time, “Please don’t interfere. I don’t want to make everyone uncomfortable.”

“Baby, are you sure that—“

“Oh, there you are!” Your mother exclaims when she opens the door with a syrupy smile, “We were starting to wonder if you’d gotten lost.”

“Sorry. Life with a baby and all,” you shake your head with an embarrassed chuckle and try to ignore the tension in your muscles, shrugging your coat off your shoulders to reveal your wine-red button-up and dark skirt. 

“Honey, I thought you knew we always dress up a little during the Holidays,” your mother says while glancing at your outfit with veiled disdain, “Where’s that nice blue dress? With the ribbons?”

“This is all that fits me right now, that isn’t maternity clothes,” you answer apologetically at the first jab of many. Beside you, Javier takes a step closer to you without saying anything. 

“Anyway! Where’s the little man?” Your mother chirps, already having moved on and looking to Lucas who has started stirring in Javier’s arms. When she gets closer, about to reach out to run a hand over his little head, Lucas immediately starts whimpering as if he is aware of the unpleasantries that his mother has had to endure at the mercy of this woman. He knows the culprits before they’ve even revealed themselves. 

“Oh, he’s a little fussy, isn’t he?” She laughs it off and retreats much to your relief, letting Javier bounce your son to make him settle down again. When he quietens down again, you share a glance with your husband who signals that everything is okay. You take a deep breath and let him handle the situation. 

“Where’s Dad?” You ask to turn your attention away from your crying child, smoothing out a nonexistent crease in your skirt. 

“I think he’s just about to get the turkey out of the oven,” your mother says, wagging a finger in Lucas’ face with a little smile, “Why don’t you go say hi and I talk to my grandson for a moment? Oh, look at you, Lucas! You’re just perfect, aren’t you?”

You reluctantly leave the three of them to head for the kitchen. You can feel each family photograph staring back at you as you walk through the hallway to your destination; a picture of your five-year-old self on a bike but somehow no picture of your graduation ceremony as if it has been decided where things went wrong before you could acknowledge it yourself. 

“Hey Dad, smells so good in here,” the kitchen does indeed smell wonderfully as you walk through the door. Your father looks at you over his shoulder, giving you a little smile and you try not to think about how he didn’t bother to come out to greet you. 

“Mom and I were wondering if you were ever coming,” he notes while plating pieces of turkey meat. In the hallway, you can hear Javier striking up polite conversation. He’s handling your mother with his usual calmness, and you feel grateful for his presence yet embarrassed that you aren’t strong enough to handle it yourself.

You shrug a little, Javier’s presence giving you the courage to try and mirror said calmness, “Newborns, you know.”

“He’s four months,” he corrects. 

“Right, time flies,” you reply with your confidence fading fast, the words coming out in a way that doesn’t quite carry the quick wit that Javier usually loves about you. You touch your arm, standing awkwardly by the counter, “Still figuring it out as we go.”

Your father doesn’t turn around, “Parenting’s not rocket science, you know. Your mother and I managed just fine without all the made-up nonsense you young people talk about these days.”

You jump a little as your mother puts a hand on your shoulder and says your name to get your attention. You look back at her, “Can you set the table? I put the tablecloth ready on the silverware cabinet.”

“Sure, Mom,” you smile, already heading for the dining room to escape from your father’s subtle judgments. You find Javier has already gone, an irrational thought popping into your head of how he has bolted and left you to deal with your mom and dad by yourself. 

You glance into the kitchen as you start placing the plates in each of their respective places, “Where’s Javier?”

“He went to get the presents from the car,” your mother replies from the kitchen. You hear her take out a serving bowl from a cabinet. 

“Oh, I should go help him wi—“ 

“He’s your husband, sweetie. Let him handle it. There’s no need to emasculate him like that,” she is suddenly in the doorway, staring you down in a way that makes your hands shake. Her gaze drops to the table and her brows furrow, “You’re using the wrong plates!”

You look up with a racing heartbeat, “What?”

She sighs your name audibly, “These aren’t the Christmas plates. We don’t use regular plates for special occasions. Honestly, I thought you’d know better.”

The words sting and you set down the plates you have been holding in case the littlest twitch will make you drop it onto the floor, “Sorry, Mom.” 

“Ah well, now you’ll never forget it,” she jokes without humor in her voice as she opens the door to the china cabinet, pulling out the plates adorned with what you recognize to be hand-painted holly. You shamefully realize you know them from childhood Christmases and that they are exactly where they’ve always been. 

Automatically, you gather the wrong plates to make room for the right ones. It’s Christmas, you remind yourself as you do it. It is one day. You can survive one day. 

“See? Isn’t this much better?” She says cheerfully when your mistake has been corrected and while you nod, Javier reenters the house. 

He joins the two of you, carrying a large gift bag in one hand and holding Lucas on the other arm. You immediately go to take him, doing a careful transfer until you can lay his tiny body against your shoulder while supporting his bottom. 

“¿Todo bien? (Everything okay?)” Javier asks quietly when you follow him into the living room where the tree stands. He sets down the bag and tries to act casual, laying out the gifts and waiting for your honest response in the meantime. Apparently, you haven’t been as successful in hiding the distress on your face as you thought you had. 

You force a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes and Lucas starts whining again. You bounce him gently, “It’s nothing. Just… Christmas stuff.”

Javier glances toward the hallway to the kitchen where your parents’ voices can be heard faintly over the sounds of cooking. His jaw tightens slightly and his mouth becomes a thin line. 

“Don’t,” you say as firmly as you can muster because you wish he would, “It’ll only make it worse.”

“Dame un beso (give me a kiss),” he says instead, and you shyly lean in to peck him on the lips. Afterward, he pulls back but only after stroking Lucas’ back, “You’re both doing great, okay? Don’t let them get in your head.”

You are interrupted by your mother’s voice ringing out from the dining room, telling you that dinner is ready. Javier kisses you one last time before reassuring you that everything will be okay and that he is in your corner. You try to smile, tense as you take a seat with Lucas still in your arms. 

The Christmas meal begins with polite conversation, your father asking Javier about work and your mother telling you about neighbors that you haven’t spoken to in years. You mostly just speak when spoken to, having decided to focus on your baby as he keeps wriggling in your arms in discomfort. You try to rub his belly, try to make him settle by giving him your attention but still, his tiny face crumbles and he lets out a string of small complaints. 

“Maybe we could open presents while he naps?” You suggest hesitantly when your mother has given you enough judgemental advice, “He’s been so fussy all night, and I don’t want him to get more overwhelmed than he—”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake,” your mother says your name with a sigh. You hear Javier’s chair scrape against the floor, almost as if he is about to get up and get ready for a physical altercation.

“Let’s do whatever is easiest for the baby,” your father interrupts, placing a hand on your mother’s wrist. Her annoyance shines through her eyes but she nods with a smile nonetheless. 

“Of course,” you hear her grit out, “It’s just… We’d love to spend time with him. We’ve already missed so much, and Luke needs his grandparents.”

“We’ll see,” Javier answers for you. 

The dinner continues in mostly silence with turkey being substituted by pie, cutlery clinking against plates, and glasses being lifted and set down again. There’s tension so thick that it can be cut with a knife, your mother glancing at Lucas with a smile before it disappears from her face when she shifts her gaze to your direction.  

Mercilessly, she finally speaks, “So, honey, have you thought about when you’ll start losing the baby weight?”

“Mom!” You exclaim in shock, surprised that sound comes out when your throat feels like it is about to close up completely.

In the same manner as one would spit out a drink in shock, Javier’s fork scrapes unpleasantly against his plate, and suddenly, your mother’s name falls from his lips like the sound itself leaves him with a bad taste in his mouth. She looks startled by the interruption, almost like a deer in the headlights of a car, but it doesn’t faze your husband, “My wife looks beautiful and she has just given me - us - the greatest gift which is our son. Let’s not diminish that, shall we?”

You try to feel the weight of Lucas against your chest instead of how you don’t feel safe within this house, with its bruises on the walls and its ghosts of a youth spent walking on eggshells. Lucas’ body is warm, a reminder that this doesn’t matter. He matters. 

“I’m focused on taking care of my son right now, Mom,” you reply coolly with your lips resting on the soft hairs on Lucas’ head. 

“Right, of course. I didn’t mean anything by it,” your mother argues, clearly flustered, “You know how important it is to stay healthy for the baby.”

“Your mother just wants what’s best for you, honey,” your father intervenes, trying to steer the conversation onto friendlier and safer topics but she has already gotten up from her seat. 

“Why don’t I clear the table so we can move into the living room and open presents?” She mumbles, putting on a show by letting her voice waver. She has begun stacking plates before anyone can even say anything, practically fleeing the room and leaving you all looking slightly sheepish. Javier hides the roll of his eyes exceptionally well and he smiles when you catch him.

“I’ll put Lucas down for a nap,” you announce to what is left of the party.

Javier gets up alongside you to help you. He walks upstairs right behind you, a calming presence with the diaper bag in hand as you head for the guest room.

When you close the door behind the three of you, the tension seeps out of your body at having a quiet moment with your boys. The lighting in the room is soft and calming, almost making you want to lie down to nap with your son. 

“There we go,” you say as you gently place Lucas on the bed while Javier rummages through the bag for his pacifier. Lucas blinks up at you, his tiny fists balled and his chubby legs kicking excitedly. He lets out a happy gurgle.

“Oh, now you’re happy,” you tease softly and kneel by the bed to rub his tummy, “Picky with who we’re smiling at, are we?” 

Javier joins you by the bed and offers Lucas his pacifier. Your son stretches his arms and reaches for his father, letting out a high-pitched giggle around the pacifier. However, as he suckles gently, accompanied by your soft touch that has now moved to his chubby cheeks too, his eyelids start to grow heavy. 

When his breaths have slowed, you do whatever you can with the pillows to create a safe space for him to sleep. You create a barrier around him, ensuring as well as possible that he won’t roll over. 

“You know, you’d think that they would have set up a crib for him if they’re so desperate to see him,” you murmur bitterly as you adjust the last pillow.

“You sure you want to go back down there?” Javier asks carefully. 

“Can you grab the baby monitor?” You ignore his question at first but Javier is already handing you the monitor, ruining your attempt at not addressing the situation further. You sigh and get up from the floor, “I can get through it. If it’ll make them stop pestering me for a visit for a while.”

“I swear, one more word out of her mouth and I’ll open my own,” Javier says with anger simmering just beneath the surface. He drags you into his arms when you stand up again, hears your sigh of relief at being squeezed. It calms your nervous system so effectively that you slump. 

“Believe me, I feel like I am going insane,” you whisper into his neck and shoulder, grabbing aimlessly at his strong frame and inhaling his scent. He returns the desperate touch by simply rubbing your back in slow circles. 

“Yeah, I don’t know how you stay so calm,” he kisses your temple a few times. 

“Trust me, humans can endure a lot when they know there’s a time limit,” you chuckle humorlessly and pull away, “Let’s just do the gift exchange and leave.”

Downstairs, your parents are waiting for you by the tree. The collection of presents is sparse this year due to the short notice but you find it relieving to know that the gift exchange will be over quickly. 

Placing the baby monitor on the coffee table, you sit down on the sofa but don’t allow yourself to relax into it. Javier drops down beside you but leans back into his seat, his hand resting casually on your thigh to ground you. 

“Let’s get to the gifts. It’ll be nice to end this day on a happy note,” your mother says overly cheerfully, pretending to have forgiven and forgotten all about the situation earlier. She reaches for the first gift under the tree while your father stands ready with a bag for the wrapping paper. 

“That’s mine,” Javier tells her with a little smirk in your direction. He holds out his hand until she gives it to him, “To my beautiful wife. Merry Christmas, baby.”

“How thoughtful,” your mother mumbles and sits on the edge of her armchair. 

“Javi, I thought we weren’t on gifts this year,” you scold playfully but there’s no seriousness to your voice. You finally smile and this time it is genuine, feeling his gaze on you while you impatiently rip the wrapping. 

“I know what I said but I know you’ll love it. It’s more for Lucas anyway,” he informs you shyly. 

Inside, you find two pairs of identical fuzzy and comfortable socks with a dinosaur print on them. However, one pair fits Lucas’ tiny feet and the other fits yours. Your whole demeanor changes with the sight of your gift, your face lighting up with a bright smile, “These are so cute!”

“For your cold feet. Thought you could use something cozy while you take care of Luke at home,” he moves his hand to rest just above the small of your back, his palm smoothing over you on top of the fabric of your blouse. 

Your parents sit idly by. They stare at the gift with confusion and arrogance, clearly holding their tongue over how ridiculous they find it. Your mother picks at her fingers, “Interesting.”

“Interesting? Aren’t they adorable?” You hold the matching socks up happily, not sure what to expect but not even your mother’s judgmental expression can bring you down right now. To really rub it in, you kiss Javier’s mouth gently in front of them, “Gracias, esposo (Thank you, husband).”

But the happiness is short-lived as your father goes to get the next present from the small pile. He searches for a moment amongst the few there are, deliberately seeking out the present that you have brought them, most likely to be able to leave the room soon due to the obvious tension. He has never been one to intervene. 

“You shouldn’t have,” your mother tuts with a small smile as she carefully unwraps it in her lap, her fingers doing everything they can to not tear the paper so she can reuse it. 

When the framed picture of Lucas is revealed - a photo taken during an afternoon when he was particularly happy and smiling - her smile develops into a slightly wider one even if it looks against her will. She studies the picture with your father looking over her shoulder. 

“We thought you’d like something to remember him by,” you encourage her to say something. 

Your mother places the photo on the coffee table, her hands smoothing out the wrapping paper while she talks, “It’s lovely, sweetie. Though I’m sure we’d have more memories if we got to see him more often.”

You tense up beside Javier. Out of the corner of your eye, you see him do the same but he squeezes your hip to tell you that he is right there. Anxiously, you curl your fingers into your skirt but your mother isn’t finished.

“I just don’t understand why you’ve been so distant,” she continues, cold in her tone. “You hardly call, which would be fine but you visit even less than that, and now you’re letting Lucas sleep through his first Christmas. It’s not like you’ve gone back to work, so what is it?”

“Mom, please,” you say quietly but it doesn’t veil the wavering of your words, “I’m doing the best I can.”

“Are you?” She challenges, “Lucas has been fussing all night, hasn’t he? Maybe he’s picking up on your stress.”

You hear Javier say your mother’s name as he had during dinner, low and with warning. At the same moment, the baby monitor crackles with the sound of Lucas’ tiny complaints. The sound pulls you from your seat, your instincts to go to him overriding your desire to defend yourself from further abuse. However, your mother’s voice rings out behind you just as you take your first step.

She rolls her eyes, “Oh, just let him cry a little. You’ll make him clingy if you keep running to him every time he whimpers.”

You stop in your tracks, finally turning around to look her in the eye with your own eyes narrowed. You can see Javier watching you closely while you talk, “Mom, if he cries, he needs me.”

According to you, she has already gone too far but it seems that she cannot stop once she has started, “You know, you really should stop babying him so much. He needs to learn to self-soothe.”

Tears of frustration start to build in your chest and you can feel the muscles of your throat start to tighten as they rise to your eyes, “Jesus Christ, Mom, I’m not going to stop babying my baby.”

Her final blow comes out with a deliberate intention to hurt you, “There you go overthinking again and snapping at your mother. He is whimpering. Honestly, sometimes I wonder how Javier puts up with it. You can be such a bitch when you’re stressed.”

The room falls dead silent and the first tear escapes your eye at the cruel nickname… then a second and then a third until you start to cry silently and hopelessly. You suddenly feel like a teenager again, suffering from forced proximity. Your father opens his mouth but nothing comes out, seemingly not able to figure out how to defend his wife for once. It is the final straw for Javier.

“What did you just say?” He firmly cuts through the silence. He has gotten up from his seat and has stepped in front of you to shield you protectively from your mother’s line of sight. His nostrils flare with anger that might explode into rage at any moment but he keeps his voice steady, “You better not have said what I think you did or I am wondering why you haven’t apologized already.”

Your mother’s eyes widen at the idea of consequences. She splutters, caught off guard, “Apologize? Javier, don’t be ridiculous! I’m her mother—“

Javier laughs dangerously and condescendingly and looks away with a roll of his eyes. He shakes his head, not afraid to let the room know that he thinks she sounds pathetic without even calling her out on it. He crosses his arms over his chest, “You got a hell of a way of showing motherly love then; all you have done is tear her down today.”

“Javier,” your father tries to interject, “Let’s not make this into a scene.”

“No,” Javier turns to him, his jaw muscles flexing slightly underneath his skin with how much anger is flowing through him. The simple word makes your father sit up straighter than before - a testament to Javier’s days in Colombia - but Javier is not done, “You don’t get to lecture me about making a scene. Not after sitting there and letting this happen. She is your daughter.”

When your father has shut his mouth, looking uncomfortable by his defeat while he leans back into his seat with no intention to follow up on his words, Javier’s fury settles on your mother once more, “What’s your goal here, exactly?”

You’re aware that it isn’t just a simple few tears falling from your eyes anymore but rather a silent stream that has your face puffy and sensitive. It is accompanied by grief over your younger self not having had someone like Javier in her corner. You sniffle audibly, feeling as if you have been punched in the gut with how much it hurts and humiliates you to sit idly by. Your mother catches a glimpse of you behind your husband but it doesn’t seem to have any effect whatsoever. 

“There’s no secret agenda here, for God’s sake. I didn’t mean anything by it,” she sneers, trying to keep her demeanor straight despite the humiliation of getting called out being evident on her face. 

“Yes, you did,” Javier argues immediately and fiercely, pointing his index finger at her in an accusing manner, “You knew exactly what you were saying. You wanted her to hurt. Well congratulations, you’ve succeeded. Unfortunately, your daughter is a lot nicer than me and handled your words with a lot more grace than you deserve. I will not be doing the same thing.”

Your mother’s composure falters. She says your father’s name helplessly but he looks at her with tired eyes, full of quiet disappointment. Even if he is absent and passive like always, his refusal to intervene further is a sign that he would never go as far as his wife has just done. He shakes his head in disapproval, “Why’d you do it? We were having such a nice time too.”

She gapes at your father while his gaze drops to his lap, shrinking herself slightly at the realization that she is outnumbered and has to face your husband alone. Javier takes a step closer, radiating authority when she tries to avoid further confrontation, distaste so clear on his face for how he has lost her attention for a moment. When you let out a quiet sob, too paralyzed in your spot on the couch to go to your whimpering child, his face hardens further and he continues, “Listen to me.”

Your mother looks up reluctantly. She appears to be on the brink of an attempt to turn his words against him and argue right back once more, but Javier cuts her off before she can even start. 

“You don’t talk to her like that again. Ever. And you most certainly do not question her ability to be a mother. She is a perfect mother and God knows, she hasn’t gotten it from you. Lucas is a happy, healthy, and thriving baby because of her,” he takes a breath, and for a second, it seems like he might be done but then, “You hurt my girl, you understand that? And if you ever speak to her like that again - actually if you even speak about her like that again -  I will personally make sure you don’t get to have Lucas in your life.”

“Are you threatening us?” Her composure slips even more. 

“No, ma’am, I am instructing you,” he replies coldly, “If you can’t respect his mother, we’re done here.”

Javier turns to you now, his face softening immediately at the sight of you sitting teary-eyed on the couch with your hands clutching the baby monitor. He says your name so softly, a sound that has always felt like an unfamiliar and unwelcome sound within this house, and gently pulls the piece of technology out of your hands. 

“Listen to me, baby. Go wait in the car. I’ll get Lucas and his things,” he instructs you, placing the baby monitor on the coffee table behind him without looking away from you. He helps you to stand when you find yourself nodding. 

When you’re up from your seat, he puts a hand on the small of your back to guide you towards the door. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t let you linger in the room. 

“You don’t have to leave,” your mother protests with obvious surprise that you and Javier are carrying out the promise of consequences. She begins pushing herself to stand. 

“Sit down, I will not let you disturb any of the peace she has left,” he commands harshly when she tries to take a step toward you. 

Your mother falters, stunned by his audacity, and sinks back into her seat.

The moment you’re out of the front door, your legs start shaking so badly beneath you that you aren’t sure if you’ll even make it to the car. The walk feels endless, like climbing a mountain, the neighborhood surrounding your childhood home quiet because everyone is inside with the happy family that you never got to have growing up. 

Until now. You have it now. However, you have left them to fend for themselves on the battlefield to slide into the front seat of the car. You rub your chest as it feels tight but it soothes nothing and suddenly, the tears come harder than they had in the living room. You rest your head against the glass window, screwing your eyes shut and feeling drips of hot tears on your cheeks.

Memories come flooding and you have no power to stop them, pictures of many nights spent in solitude in your room because it was the only illusion of sanctuary in the house before you. The sound of your mother’s scoffs, her unbearable ability to make you feel small, inadequate, and unwanted. Her year-long cruelty feels like a knife in your chest but your father’s silent complicity twists its blade too, makes you think that you were never worthy of defending. 

Yet Javier had done it so effortlessly, had done what you’d wished someone would have done for you in your entire life, and he had done it without any hesitation. You are shattered by another night believing the worst about yourself, yes, but you realize that a part of your sobs comes from relief too. Suddenly, it all feels silly and you don’t know why you have always stopped Javier from speaking up for you since you met because his words - she is a perfect mother - have taken the power out of your mother’s incredibly fast. 

You hear the front door open and a shaky sob leaves you at seeing the two of your boys approach the car. Javier has the diaper bag over his shoulder whilst cradling Lucas against his chest, his face serious. He moves in long strides to get to you fast, not saying anything as he buckles Lucas’ sleeping form into his car seat before climbing into his own seat in the front. 

You sit up again, eyes still brimming with tears that streak your face. You feel overwhelmed like you have run a marathon or fought a bear or a monster. 

Javier puts on his seatbelt but doesn’t put the key in the ignition yet. He looks out of the windshield for a moment, breathes a sigh of relief. The car is quiet except for Lucas’ soft breaths as he sleeps.

Right until Javier says your name when you don’t automatically turn your head to look at him, ashamed of how the day has progressed. It is Christmas, after all, and Lucas’ first one ever too. 

“Mírame (Look at me),” he says in a gentle murmur. 

You shake your head, unable to answer with how tightly wound you are. You feel his hand under your chin, carefully pulling you by your chin until your eyes meet his. His outline is blurry from all the tears but his voice cuts through the fog in gentle firmness. 

“I love you so much, and I love our son, okay?” He says it like it is a promise, “They aren't ever gonna to talk to you like that again because I won't allow them to. Do you understand me?”

You silently look at him through your tears, nodding weakly. He reaches to brush your tears away with a knuckle. 

“Everything’s gonna be okay because you don’t have to see them if you don’t want to. You just have to let me take care of you,” he continues and cups your cheek instead, “And right now, I say you’re done with them for tonight. Actually, for as long as you fucking want.”

“I want… I don’t…” You say at first but then, “I’m sorry.”

Javier furrows his brows, “Why are you sorry?” 

“Because that’s my mom,” you try to speak around a fresh sob, “And you married me and I trapped you with my fucked up family.”

“Hey, heyheyhey,” he shakes his head, moving his other hand to cup your whole face now. He leans over the console of the car and rests his forehead against yours. When you simply cry harder, he pulls you into a hug, “You didn’t trap me, okay? You didn’t. I’m here because you make me happy. You make me so happy, baby, and Hell knows, I needed a bit of taking care of when you met me. Let me return the favor.”

His body is warm, soothing, and grounding. His embrace squeezes you hard enough to make you calm down, giving you a moment of quiet peace in your mind as you begin to take in his words. You feel the same. You want to say it but you’re afraid that you’ll never stop crying tonight, so instead you find the courage to say those words that you should have told yourself years ago, “I don’t think I want to go back.”

“What do you want to do then?” Javier pulls back to look at you. He moves back into his own seat again and starts the car to give you time to think clearly about his question. 

“Can we go to your dad’s?” You ask hesitantly. 

Javier’s brows rise slightly but he doesn’t argue, just nods as he puts the car in reverse. Before reversing out of the driveway, he pulls you in to kiss your forehead softly. 

“Claro, mi amor (Sure, my love),” he says simply, “He’d love to see us.”

.

.

If you would like to follow my writing then go follow @notjustjavierpena-fics and turn on notifications 💖❤️

[lovelytsunoda]

bah humbug! (well, that's too strong) | liam lawson

summary: she really wants to feel the christmas spirit. the only problem? this year, she can't seem to find it.

pairing: liam lawson x female!reader

warnings: inspired loosely by certain bars of 'christmas wrapping' by the waitresses, reader wears glasses! my girl is just a lil' stressed about the holidays

author's note: originally this was supposed to be a totally different fic but i've really been struggling to feel the christmas spirit this year and i think i like this idea much more than my original idea because it feels more authentic :)

“liam, have you seen my glasses? I need them to drive!”

“kitchen counter, babe! and I thought I was driving?”

she poked her head into the kitchen, where Liam was double checking the fridge for the food items they promised they’d contribute to the family christmas dinner. one apple pie, one tray of lemon potatoes ready to go into the oven.

“I thought I could drive back. that way you can have a few beers with my dad.” she suggested, grabbing her glasses case from the counter before pressing a quick kiss to liam’s lips.

quick as a flash she was gone again, off to the christmas tree to run inventory on her family gifts.

“hang on, hang on.” liam groaned, grabbing her hand. “I thought we’d stay over this year. this way, I can have a few beers, and you don’t have to drive at night. "

he knew his misspoke when he saw the panic in her eyes. all he had tried to do was lessen the stress, but he feared he may have just increased it.

you see, y/n loved christmas, but this year the holiday had caused her nothing but stress. between changed plans, cooking failures and the pressure she was under at work, all she had been able to manage this year was a few fleeting moments of christmas cheer instead of the monthlong joy she was used to. this year, she couldn't even force it.

"okay, we can revisit it later. i know you love your family, but i also know they can be a lot." liam said, his voice soft as he ran his thumb over her pulse. "everything is already by the door. i've got it covered, and all you need to do today is relax."

she smiled weakly, eyes pricking with tears as she thought about how kind and gentle her boy was being. "thank you. that's really thoughtful."

"anything you need, and i'm your man." he winked, pulling her in for a hug. she nestled underneath his chin, breathing in the cologne he was wearing and feeling herself relax under his touch.

they hit the road soon after, with liam's warm hand resting reassuringly on her thigh, just under the hem of her black dress. the auckland sun was so bright that she had the sun visor in her boyfriend's honda down in front of her eyes as he merged onto the freeway.

they were listening to christmas music, but it was the calming and folksy kind that she liked, and not the garish and in your face kind on the radio.

she felt totally at peace, singing quietly along to liam gallgher's 'all you're dreaming of', running her fingertips along liam's smooth knuckles.

"you know i love you, right?" she said softly, turning to look at his side profile. he was gorgeous all the time, but specifically when he drove. he had a pair of ray-ban's perched on his nose, his white collared shirt pushed up over his elbows. she could see the veins in his arms as he switched gears, and it made her run hot.

liam looked over at her, keeping the corner of his eyes trained on the freeway. "of course. and you know i love you, don't you?"

"always." she smiled, bringing his knuckles to her lips and kissing them softly.

her parents' house was a mess of soul music and cooking, the smells of stuffing, gingerbread and melted butter enveloping her like a comforting hug as she walked over the threshold, liam's arm draped over her waist to pull her close. her nephew was running around the kitchen with his nerf gun, her sister's border collie barking at her reflection in the mirrored christmas ornaments.

it was chaotic and occasionally stressful, but being here today brought her immense peace. she went around the living room, saying her hellos before helping herself to a mug of hot chocolate, and a beer for liam.

liam took both drinks from her, wordlessly placing them on a side table before pulling her in for a dance. she giggled shyly, resisitng the urge to hide her face as her lover gently swayed their bodies to rod stewart and dolly parton, who were crooning baby its cold outside in the background.

she rested her head on liam's shoulder, relaxing into his hold. when the song ended, they were still rocking side to side, too wrapped up in each other to notice until the dog began to bark at them, and her cousins started clapping.

liam pecked her on the forehead before the pair settled in on the leather couch to watch everybody open presents. of course, the little kids went first, her two nephews overjoyed with their new marvel toys.

when it was her turn, her m other passed her a box decorated in floral scrapbooking paper, a golden bow tied around it. she opened the box, pulling out a crisp white album with a white lace bow on the front. she flipped through it, liam's arms around her waist and his chin on her shoulder as he looked with her at the pages upon pages of pressed photos and card cutouts.

"mum, is this every picture i've ever sent you of me and liam?"

her mom smiled. "and a few that your father and i took. i figured you could show it to your kids one day."

"that's really sweet, mrs. y/l/n." liam smiled, tenderly and sincerely. "it's beautiful."

the book opened with the first picture that yn had ever sent her parents of her and liam. they were sitting next to each other at a steakhouse in auckland, and liam was looking at her with such a lovestruck expression in his eyes that she thought she would melt.

it was the first time anybody had ever looked at her like that.

later that night, after dinner and dessert and her cousin's drunken toast, she was sitting outside on the patio, watching the sun set over the water. she had a wine colored cardigan over her dress, and a border collie curled up in her lap. one of her airpods was in, playing some music that was decidedly un-christmassy, but was helping her decompress from the stress of the day, the week and the year.

liam knocked against the open patio door, waiting for her to turn around. "hey, i'm looking for the most beautiful girl at this party? i think she's wearing a sexy little black dress and ankle boots, but i can't seem to find her."

she smiled over at him, getting out of her chair. the dog in her lap bounded over to liam, jumping up on her hind legs and trying to get him to scratch her behind the ears. "just needed a minute to myself. care to join me?"

"of course."

liam sat down in the wicker chair she had just vacated, humming contentedly as she settled in his lap. he pulled her warm body against his, keeping her safe and close by. he dotted kisses along her shoulder blade as they sat there quietly, watching the sun go down and enjoying each other's company.

"we can still stay over, if you want. my dad will probably make us leave the door open, though."

"are you sure? i've only had one beer, i can drive us home." liam asked gently, thumb rubbing circles over her skin. "if your social battery is dead, i don't think we should push it."

she looked back at him, a smile on her face. "yeah, i'm sure. they may be nuts, but they're my family and i love them. besides, jake is taking the kids back home tonight, so it will be quieter come eight thirty."

"i love those little dudes."

"i can tell. you still have a nerf dart stuck to your shoulder."

liam frowned, watching as she reached over his back to unstick the suction cup. "how did that get there?"

"my nephew is a menace, that's how." she laughed before kissing him. "merry christmas, liam."

"merry christmas, pretty girl." liam beamed, kissing her cheek. "but we might want to stay out here a little longer. your cousin got the karaoke machine out and your mom is trying to get me to sing crocodile rock with her."

[babydollmarauders]

WYD NOW? — JACK HUGHES

jack hughes x fem!singer!reader

summary: in which y/n writes a song about her ex-boyfriend, 3 years after their breakup, and it gets back to him, leading to their reconnection

notes: inspired by the song WYD Now? by Sadie Jean. ending kinda sucks, but ehh i did my best. pretty sure i lost motivation for this halfway through it, but i tried to power through.

not my gif

*** JUNE 17TH, 2018 ***

“i bet, at this time in a few years, we’ll be painting the walls of our shared apartment.” my boyfriend’s whisper rings through my ears as i turn my head to look at him.

heat rises to my cheeks, Jack’s blue eyes gazing into mine.

“yeah?” i laugh, running a hand through his hair, still damp from the shower he took before coming over.

“mhm.” he hums in confirmation, his hand snaking up under the stolen shirt that adorns my body, gripping my waist and pulling me closer. “i’ll be playing hockey, and you’ll be a big pop star, my little songbird.”

i bury my face into his neck in attempt to hide the redness on the apples of my cheeks from the nickname.

“you gonna write songs about me?” he whispers, pressing a kiss against the side of my head.

“i already do.” i murmur, my lips brushing against his collarbone, causing him to shiver.

*** JULY 30TH, 2019 ***

“i don’t think i understand.” it feels like my head is underwater, my lungs burning for oxygen, but unable to receive it.

“we can still be friends, y/n. you can call me whenever.” Jack sits on my bed, gripping my hands in his hold. “the future is just, so far away and we don’t know what’ll happen.

“i don’t want my dreams to hold you back from achieving yours, y/n. you may not see it right now, but this just seems like the best option for now. and maybe, down the line, once we’re both at a stable place in our careers, if we’re both single, we can revisit us.”

my head is bobbing ‘yes’ but my heart is screaming ‘no!’

it’s like my brain understands where he’s coming from, that he’s being logical and that he’s doing this for the greater good of both of us; no matter what we’ve always thought, we’re still just kids, we were dreaming. but my heart isn’t getting that message. all my heart knows is that it’s being crushed into a thousand pieces and it feels pretty unsalvageable right now.

“are you okay?”

it’s my instinct to tell him ‘yes’. my instinct to not let him know how much he’s really hurting me. how much i want to scream that we’ll be fine. that i would give up my dream to be by his side while he accomplishes his. but i know that would just hurt him; because that isn’t what he wants.

he may be hurting me, but he’s doing it for all the right reasons. he doesn’t want me to push my dreams aside for his, because he wants to see me living them. he wants the best for me.

“yeah, i’m okay. i understand.”

*** PRESENT: SOCIAL MEDIA ***

y/nonthegram

liked by tatemcrae and 246,517 others

y/nonthegram in your faded t-shirt

that i’ve kept this long

i still hear you laughing

Load more comments

user13 NEW LYRICS??

user92 that’s what i was thinking too! seems too poetic to just be a caption

trevorzegras hey that looks familiar

user57 OH MY GOD NEW MUSIC?

user04 AHHH ANNOUNCE A NEW ALBUM PLEASE

user6 I’LL EVEN JUST TAKE A NEW SINGLE! I JUST NEED NEW MUSIC

tatemcrae my best friend writes the best captions

y/nonthegram MY best friend writes the best songs

tatemcrae says you!

user83 new love song? break-up song? both?

colecaufield what’s this 👀

y/nonthegram

liked by trevorzegras and 283,752 others

y/nonthegram surprise! ‘WYD Now?’ out tonight at midnight.

wholly written in my bedroom at 2am, this song means the absolute most to me, and i hope some of you can find comfort in it like i have <3

Load more comments

user04 OH MY GOD! THANK YOU FOR BLESSING OUR EARS TONIGHT!

colecaufield so proud of you!

y/nonthegram thank you, coley ♥️

user94 since when does she know nhl players?

user63 she went to high school with some of the 2019 draft class

user72 I CAN’T WAIT OMG

user18 SHAKING, CRYING, THROWING UP! I’M SO EXCITED

_alexturcotte our little melody makin’ munchkin, making moves!

y/nonthegram oh god please don’t bring back “melody makin’ munchkin”

_alexturcotte too late

tatemcrae GO BEST FRIEND THAT’S MY BEST FRIEND

y/nonthegram LEMME KISS YOUR FACE!! MWAH!!

user55 i’m so curious to hear these lyrics 😭 how am i gonna wait 8 more hours?!

jackhughes

liked by y/nonthegram and 352,850 others

jackhughes 3/3

Load more comments

user77 hey wait, didn’t @/y/nonthegram date Jack in high school? is the new song yesterday about him?

user55 yess! it’s gotta be!

trevorzegras dizzyyy

user91 you should go listen to y/n’s new song 👀

user02 have you heard ‘WYD Now?’ ???

user36 omg he remembered to post 3/3

colecaufield same time next summer? 🫡

subbanator 🚀

y/nonthegram

liked by jackhughes and 227,951 others

y/nonthegram i’m so grateful for all the love on ‘WYD Now?’ these past couple days! thank you all! <3

here’s some photos @/tatemcrae took at our song celly night last night to celebrate the release of WYD Now? and greedy!

in celebration, i’ll be answering some questions in the comments!

Load more comments

user74 is the song fictional? or was it inspired by someone?

y/nonthegram not fictional <3

user99 is this a single off the upcoming album? or just a normal song?

y/nonthegram the album is still being written, so i can’t confirm or deny if this is a single because i’m not sure yet if it’ll be on the track list! <3

colecaufield omg y/n please come to Montreal! i love you so much! you’re my idol!

y/nonthegram hey remember that time i bumped you with my car? i think we should do that again! i’ll stomp on the gas this time!

colecaufield omg you noticed me!!

user42 at 18, where did you imagine yourself being at this age?

y/nonthegram New Jersey <3

trevorzegras where did he set the bar?

y/nonthegram above the moon

user28 if the song isn’t fictional, then who’s it about?

user96 it’s 100% about jack hughes. if you scroll way down on her page, there’s pics of her and jack in high school, but they stop when they were 18. then he moved to new jersey and now he’s playing hockey, like the song states “you finally got the job you like”. that we’re all aware of, she didn’t have any other boyfriends in high school. she and jack seemingly dated from ages 16-18 until he left for the NHL

liked by y/nonthegram

_quinnhughes 💙

user10 this song was amazing! i really related and it made me feel so seen!

user88 big question is: has jack heard the song yet?

jackhughes call me?

user98 @/user88 if he hadn’t, i’m guessing he has now

*** PRESENT: REAL LIFE ***

my heart races as the notification comes through.

i wasn’t sure if he listened to my music, or if the song would get back to him. i just needed to get my feelings down on paper, and then it turned into a song, and then i liked it too much to not release it.

the night i wrote it, i had played a small show in New York, and i could’ve sworn i saw him in the back of the venue. of course, i knew it wasn’t, but it had rattled me; bringing all my feelings for him back to the forefront of my brain.

“call him.” my head snaps up to face my best friend, her eyes soft as she looks at me from the doorway.

“i-” Tate cuts me off with a shake of her head.

“don’t make excuses, y/n. call him.” she repeats, “you deserve to be happy, and from what you’ve told me, he makes you happy.”

she doesn’t stick around; instead bidding me goodbye and heading back to my guest room to give me some privacy.

i pace my bedroom, iphone clutched in my hand. his contact is pulled up, but i can’t seem to build up the nerve to call him. though, it seems i don’t have to, because my phone begins to ring instead, Jack’s photo displaying on the screen.

“hi.” i breathe out, pressing the phone to my ear.

“hi.” he repeats. “i heard your new song. i’m so proud of you, my little songbird.”

my face heats up, blood rushing to my cheeks. i haven’t heard that nickname in almost four years.

“thank you.” my words come out a whisper, still in disbelief that i’m talking to him again.

“did you mean it?” the question causes a panic to erupt in me, swarms of butterflies erupting in my nervous system.

“did i mean what, Jacky?” i need him to say it.

“what you wrote,” he clears his throat, “in the song. did you mean it all? do you still think of me? do you really wanna try again?”

laying sprawled out on my bed, i stare up at the ceiling as i speak.

“i wouldn’t have written it if it wasn’t true.”

“oh- okay. so, uh,” he stutters, but i can hear the smile on his lips, causing the same reaction upon my own face, “where are you right now?”

“um, my apartment?” my brows thread together in confusion, but he just chuckles.

“i mean like, are you living in LA? are you home in Michigan? what state?”

“oh.” i bite my lip, squeezing my eyes shut in embarrassment. “i live in New York, Jack.”

“really?” his voice is emotionally distant and seemingly hurt. “so close?”

“yeah.” i nod, although he can’t see me. “i’ve gone to a few of your games.”

“you did?”

“mhm.” i hum in confirmation. “i just- i didn’t wanna be the one to reach out and then have you think oddly of me or have you already be in a relationship or something. i’m sorry i didn’t tell you, i just didn’t wanna be seen as that clingy ex-girlfriend or anything.”

“that’s not what you are, y/n.” he sighs, “would you wanna meet up soon? catch up? i’d love to hear about your glamorous new pop star life.”

“i’d love to. although, i wouldn’t call myself a pop star, Jacky.”

“you are to me.” i blush at his words, glad he can’t see how much of a mess i am at the moment. “are you free on saturday? i have practice in the morning, but after that, maybe we could go to lunch?”

“yeah, i can do that.” i confirm.

“okay great, i’ll text you on friday to hash out details?”

“sounds great!” my cool hand rises to press against my heated face in attempt to cool myself down.

“great. i gotta go, Luke and i are going out with the guys. i’ll talk to you soon, yeah?”

“yeah. bye, Jack.” i wait for him to repeat a goodbye before hanging up, burying face in my pillow and letting out a muffled scream.

***

my knee bounces underneath the table of the New York City diner, my hands clasped together on the table.

Jack should be here any minute, and saying i’m nervous would be an understatement. my palms are clammy, my legs won’t stop shaking, and i’m eighty percent sure that i have no skin left on my bottom lip because i’ve chewed it all off.

the little bell above the door rings and my head snaps up to look, but it’s just a young couple with their toddler. i send a friendly smile to the tired looking mother before looking back down at my hands that won’t stop fidgeting.

i zone out, retreating back into my head and all the thoughts that have been plaguing me since we planned this meeting.

what if he doesn’t like me anymore?

what if he has a girlfriend and he’s just trying to be nice?

or worse, what if he’s just asked me here so he could tell me to leave him alone? to stop writing songs about him.

“hi.” i’m pulled out of my thoughts by Jack sliding into the booth across from me, a gentle smile on his face.

his hand snakes across the table to hold mine, and i can’t help but feel like a teenager again, back when we used to have dates like this all the time; where he would hold my hand over the table and we would laugh and joke around for hours.

“hey.” i smile back, giving his hand a small squeeze in return.

“how are you?” he questions. he brings his hand back in order to hold his menu, but his focus remains on me, not even glancing down at the menu yet.

“i’m good!” i nod. “how are you?”

“good, i’m glad. i’m good too.”

we’re interrupted by a waitress, taking a second to look over our menu’s before giving her our orders.

once she retreats, i squirm from the small talk, never having been any good at it. which Jack seems to remember.

“so, how’s the pop star life?” he smirks teasingly, and i giggle.

“not a pop star.” i remind him, shaking my head. “but it’s good. i like where i’m at right now in my career. i like having a strong fanbase but still being unknown enough that i’m not being hounded on or followed like, say, Taylor Swift.

“i’m able to just write my music and put it out, go on small tours, interact with my fans on a more personal level; it’s really nice. i don’t know if i would want it to be more than that.”

he nods in understanding, a wide grin on his face as he listens.

“i get it. and i’m really glad you’ve achieved what you wanted. i’ve always rooted for you.”

“what about you? mr. ninety-nine point season!” he blushes at my words, shaking his head and looking down at his hands, which rest on the tabletop. “how’s that?”

“it’s good! really good.” he looks back up at me, and i have to fight myself from getting lost in his eyes like i would when we were seventeen. “i love it. it’s hard, it’s a lot of work, but it’s amazing. and honestly, i’m pretty glad i’m not on a canadian team. i like that i can go out and still have a pretty normal life outside of hockey, ya know? not be stopped on the street a bunch.”

“yeah, i get it.” i tell him. “i’m so glad you’re happy though. you play great, as you always have.”

he releases a ‘thanks’ before a silence settles over us, neither of us sure what exactly to say next.

i begin to play with the paper wrapper from my straw, winding it around my finger before sliding it off and gently pulling it straight again.

“so, Cole sends me your songs.”

snap! the paper wrapper breaks in two as i look up at him.

“he does?”

“yeah. you know i don’t get on social media too much, so i don’t always know right away when you put one out, but Cole sends me all of them. just in case i miss one.” he explains.

my head bobs up and down as i try to display a level of cool, “oh.”

“that doesn’t bother you, does it?” he asks. “that i don’t always listen to them right away?”

“not at all! i didn’t really think you listened to them at all.” i confess, sinking lower into the booth. “not really your genre.”

he smiles gently, reaching forward to hold my hand tightly in his.

“y/n, you could write a children’s nursery rhyme, and i would still listen to it.”

my head tips back against the booth, joyous laughter spilling from my lips. my nose scrunches, resulting in a small snort, which cause him to laugh as well.

“you’re just saying that.” i choke out, and he shakes his head.

“no! i’m serious! i would!” Jack insists, right as the waitress arrives with our food. she sets our food in front of us, making sure we’re all set before she retreats.

a comfortable small talk takes over as we eat; discussing our friends and their accomplishments since graduation.

“you remember that time,” Jack starts through broken laughter, “that you hit Cole with your car because he said he didn’t think it would hurt?”

“yes! and i barely even tapped him, but the big baby whined that it hurt so bad, i may have crushed his NHL dreams!” my face hurts from smiling so big, but i can no longer fight it.

“and then he was fine and back to practice that afternoon! not even a bruise left on him!” he retorts.

“ever the dramatic, Cole is.” i sigh, sitting back in my seat from position slouched over the table.

“since we’re walking down memory lane, do you remember how i said that maybe down the line, we could revisit us?”

i’m sobered up now, my smile gone as i eye him. he’s playing with his bracelets, a sign of nerves from him, and i just now realize that he’s still wearing the string friendship bracelet i gave him at eighteen; just before his draft.

i swallow the lump that built in throat, nodding, “yeah.”

“you think maybe now would be a good time to do that?” he asks. “start slow; go on dates again, maybe you could come over sometime for movie night with Luke and i, come to a few more of my games, where i actually know you’re there this time. and then see where that could take us?”

butterflies swarm my stomach, my heart beating rapidly in my chest, and my teeth sink into my lower lip, biting back a smile.

“i’d love that, Jack.”

[buckyb-stan]

✨Bucky fic recommendations ✨

Last update: June 24th, 2024

Hi! I’m Jimena and I love reading fanfics. I usually just like them and eventually I end up losing some fics I really liked. So I decided to create this type of masterlist for me to organize and revisit fics I really really enjoy.

So please take this as some recommendations of fics you should read! In my opinion these authors deserve so much recognition for their incredible works 💖

Also if you have any recommendations please let me know, I would love to read them.

——————————————————————————

SERIES

I’m with you (Mini series) - @wkemeup

summary: When two strangers meet on a layover in the Charlotte Airport, they are sent on a whirlwind weekend filled with cancelled flights, painful questions over giant checkers, an ex-boyfriend’s wedding, and a confrontational graduation. They find that a lifetime can sit in the span of three days and it doesn’t take very long at all to fall in love.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader, modern!au

For the Love of the Game - @pellucid-constellations

Summary: Bucky Barnes was a menace. NYU’s top baseball player, he was used to girls falling at his feet and could smooth talk his way out of just about anything. You hated him. He couldn’t figure out why. So when the novelty of weekend parties and quick hookups finally wore off—and his feelings for you began to grow—he made it his mission to fix it. 

Pairing: College Athlete!Bucky x Reader 

The Number One Rule - @justkending

Series Summary: Y/N has always been seen as “Steve’s rambunctious sister.” However, she grew up, graduated, and moved to London to study abroad for 4 years and get her bachelor’s degree. The girl that returns looks nothing like the teenager that left. But don’t worry, the attitude is still there and stronger than ever. What’s to come of the two grown adults that used to push each other’s buttons, but now have a lot more in common than they’ve ever realized?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Y/N Rogers (Steve’s little sister)

Save me (Mini Series) - @espinosaurusrexex

summary: Bucky Barnes has never had it easy, which ultimately turned him into a caveman-like introvert with no desire to see the positive side of life. But what happens when the clumsily charming art student, Y/N, stumbles to his rescue, determined to show Bucky how truly wonderful the world is?

Pairing: College!BuckyBarnes x College!reader AU

Everything's Better in Westview - @espinosaurusrexex

summary: Bucky and Y/N sneak into Westview to have the perfect life. Away from late Steve and Tony, Vision and Natasha, they let themselves be consumed by suburban magic. To their surprise, however, some of these people aren’t so dead in the town. And there are some other weird things happening that make them question their sanity. But that’s okay, right? ‘Cause everything’s better in Westview.

Pairing: BuckyBarnes x Female!Reader

Bulletproof - @amandaoftherosemire

Summary: You, Steve Rogers, and Bucky Barnes have been the best of friends since middle school. On top of that, you’ve been in love with Bucky pretty much the whole time. Everything changed after the three of you got to college, however. Over the past couple of years you and Steve have become even closer but things between you and Bucky have been strained since the night he broke your heart. Can anything bring you back together?

Pairing: BuckyBarnes x Reader

Part One // Part Two // Part Three // Part Four // Part Five // Part Six // Part Seven // Part Eight ** // Part Nine  // Part Ten  // Part Eleven**  // Part Twelve // Part Thirteen ** // Part Fourteen  // Epilogue 

Sunrise - @wkemeup

summary: After an explosion takes his arm and his only sense of belonging, Bucky is discharged from active duty and sent back to civilian life. Left with a storm of unchecked guilt, Bucky is content to live out the rest of his days in the hollow comfort of the dark. This is, until Sam drags him down to the local VA and he meets you. (Modern AU)

Paring: bucky x reader (veteran!bucky x librarian!reader)

Winter Canvas Masterlist - @sebbytrash

Summary - AU Reader is an Art Major and needs a life model for a major assessment. The catch? It’s gotta be a stranger. Then you gotta remind yourself that it’s just an assignment…right?

Pairing: College!Bucky x reader

Ice ice baby - @endless-summer-soldier

Summary: Bucky is a college hockey player, Y/N is a figure skater without a partner. What's happens when these two opposites start sharing the ice...

Pairing: CollegeHockeyPlayer!Bucky x CollegeFigureSkater!Reader | Enemies to lovers

Method acting - @kinanabinks

Summary: frat!steve and y/n are close friends, but the lines are starting to blur. if that isn't confusing enough, enter beryl; a girl who's hell-bent on making steve rogers hers, no matter what it takes.

Pairing: Frat!Steve x reader x Frat!Bucky

★ The Worst Time of The Year ★ - @delaber

Summary: Bucky hates everything about Christmas - well, everything apart from one thing: you.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

★ home for the holidays ★- @classylo

Summary: When your family begs you to come home for the holidays and to bring the new guy you’ve been seeing, you don’t have the heart to tell them your good-for-nothing-ex cheated on you… good thing your roommate is available and will do absolutely anything you ask.

Pairing: Roommate!Bucky Barnes x f!reader

★ THIS MUST BE MY DREAM ★ - @lunarbuck

Summary: You’ve been best friends with Becca Barnes since third grade and have been pining over her older Bucky just as long

Pairing: bestfriend'sbrother!Bucky x f!reader

★Fuck up the Friendship★ - @summerofsnowflakes

Summary: Fed up with having your feelings played with you decide to have some fun with a with your friend Steve.

Pairing: College!SoccerPlayer!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader and College!SoccerPlayer!Steve x Fem!Reader

★Honey Girl★ - @violentdelightsandviolentends

AN: Series still on going but it is SO good I had to add it

Summary - The Universe shows you your soulmate when it feels like you need them most. When you least expect it, you're given yours - Bucky Barnes. Your Dad's best friend. You can try to refuse it all you like; but the universe wants what it wants. There's no denying fate.

Pairing - Dad'sBestFriend!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader - soulmate au

——————————————————————————

One shots

How’s Your Head? - @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky

Summary: Reader gets hurt in the subway, Bucky helps

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Suburbia - @wkemeup

summary: Posing as husband and wife, you and Bucky infiltrate a quaint suburban neighborhood in search of a Hydra hacker. Perhaps if you weren’t so in love with him and he hadn’t broken your heart, the act of pretending wouldn’t hurt so much.

Pairing: bucky x reader

let’s play pretend - @khimili

Summary: You’re supposed to attend your sister’s wedding, but when you learn your ex-boyfriend is coming with his newly found girlfriend, you come up with a lie. Yes, you’re in a relationship, and yes, you’ll bring someone to the wedding. Since your sister already knows about your best friend Steve, you decide to set your sights on his taciturn friend, the infamous Sgt. James Buchanan Barnes. What’s the worst that could happen?

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

She’s not mad - @subwaysurf45

Summary: Bucky Barnes was a known people pleaser, it was second nature to him. After meeting you and getting close you both try to navigate his eternal stressed state, working together you try your best to tone down his obsessive ways. 

Pairing: College!Bucky x reader

Golden Life, Gutters - @castieltrash1

Summary: patience is a virtue and you show bucky barnes he’s worth waiting for

Pairing: Bucky x Avenger!reader

(One part but it has 17k words)

It’s called: freefall - @kikixreverie

Summary - Things get heated between you and your closest friend Bucky, when you're made to play a married couple on an important mission. Neither of you can help yourselves when you end up stuck in a hotel room together, with sexual tension you could cut with a knife.

Pairing: Bucky x female reader

Flirting and Football - @lovelybarnes

Summary: Bucky Barnes is a soccer player, most girls are interested in him but Bucky is surprised and interested in reader when reader is the only one who isn’t interested in him. College AU

Pairing: CollegeAthlete!Bucky x reader

The right partner - @bucky-bucket-barnes

Summary: You and Bucky have always possessed a complicated history, and even more strained relationship with one another. Begrudgingly, you're sent out on a mission with Barnes where you two are posing as a newly wed couple. In an effort to investigate the consistent disappearance of young women in a certain neighborhood, you find yourselves forced to confront a whirlwind of emotions.

Pairing: Bucky x Avenger!Reader Enemies to lovers

★ When the Morning Comes ★ - @pellucid-constellations

Summary: An entire childhood, an entire life, and Bucky just hopes you’ll be there when the morning comes—that you’ll get tired of this town and follow him. If not, he’ll try again next summer. And the summer after that.

Pairing: Modern!Bucky x reader

★ The Safest Place in New York - @wkemeup

summary: A stranger comes to your rescue when you find yourself held at knifepoint, alone in an alleyway, by a man demanding your money 

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

★ Obsession★ - @wkemeup

summary: Targeted after your complicated relationship with Bucky ends up on every news channel in the city, your stalker takes things into his own hands to ensure that you belong to him, and him alone.

pairing: bucky x reader

★ Under the Sheets★ - @vanderlustwords

Summary: Bucky spends more time out of his dorm than in it with how much his roommate amorously makes love to his girlfriend. Luckily, his cute across-the-hall neighbor is generous about lending her place to him. Bucky’s unsure if he wants to hug or kiss his roommate for putting him in the situation he is in now. 

Pairing: College!Bucky x Reader

★My Everyday★ - @pellucid-constellations

Summary: Bucky Barnes was aggressive, annoying, and—worst of all—a hockey player. Not your type. At all. But, unfortunately, your roommate. 

Pairing: College Athlete!Bucky x Reader

★I Can Save You This Time★ - @pellucid-constellations

Summary: It’s the 4th of July and you’ve never been more sick. Turns out you aren’t the only one in the compound that stayed home from the celebration.

Pairing: Bucky x reader

★the forever third wheels★ - @witchywithwhiskey

summary: it's the weekend of your town's annual valentine's day carnival and you go with your group of friends, though you can't help but be sad you don't have someone special in your life. your friend, and fellow third wheel, bucky barnes makes it his mission to give you a valentine's day you won't soon forget—and show you how special you are to him.

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

★Not a study date★ - @marvelouslizzie

Summary: You have the biggest crush on Bucky Barnes but despite all your efforts, he doesn’t seem to notice you. Can one study date change it all?

Pairing: College Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

★two thousand, five hundred and sixty-nine★ - @kinanabinks

Summary:you and bucky have been best friends since you were kids, but ended up going to colleges thousands of miles apart. your student experience begins terribly, but bucky is having the time of his life - you can't let him know the truth. because if he did, you know he'd drop everything to come and save you.

Pairing: Frat Bucky Barnes x Best Friend Female Reader

★Are You Bored Yet?★ - @pellucid-constellations

Summary: God, you hated Bucky. Bucky probably hated you, too. Maybe. It was hard to tell when he was drunk and calling you pretty at a party you shouldn't have gone to.

Pairing: College!Bucky x Tutor!Reader

★Bubblegum Ice Cream★ @bucky-at-bedtime

Summary: You had been forced to babysit when your brother showed up at the door to your apartment - you were just stuck with a child at 9am on Sunday. Sundays were meant to be for sleep. At least your roommate, Bucky, was out on a mission, or that's what you thought.

Pairing: Roomate!Bucky x Reader

★Like Someone I Know ★ - @marvelouslizzie

summary: You decide to take a break from studying and go to a masked party but your casual hookup turns out to be your biggest rival, Bucky Barnes.

pairing: College!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

★Give Me A Sign ★ - @lostgirlmuseum

AN: TW | But I must say, if you decide to read this you won't regret it. It was SOOOO beautifully done, I loved it so much

Summary:Bucky asks the universe for a reason to live. The universe delivers you.

Pairing: Bucky x f!reader

★The Cafe ★ - @subwaysurf45

Summary: Bucky works in the cafe you usually go to. He is to shy to talk to you

Pairing: College!Bucky x f!reader

★A little longer★ - @buckyalpine

Summary: Sam is always pestering Bucky about being single. One day, Bucky decides to lie and tells Sam he has a girlfriend. Now, Sam insists that Bucky bring this so-called girlfriend to his family cookout.

Pairing: Neighbour!Bucky x f!reader

★Read Between The Lines★ - @thevillainswhore

Summary: There shouldn’t have been anything unusual about your routine visit to the local bookstore. Your life was simple and mundane, even if you were a daydreamer at heart. But you were pleasantly surprised when this time you met a handsome stranger between the shelves.

Pairing: Modern!Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

★JEALOUSY & FLIRTATION★ - @kinanabinks

Summary: There's nothing you want more than Bucky Barnes - but you and his best friend, Juniper, seem to have that in common.

Pairing: Frat!Bucky x F!Reader

——————————————————————————

Two parts

Like I Want You - @tmpestuous

summary: you and bucky have been best friends your entire life and it’s never been anything but platonic. so why do things get so bad when he gets a new girlfriend? | part two.

Pairing: college!bucky x reader

★Let me Love You ★ - @scifinerd1818

Summary: When your roommate introduced you to Bucky Barnes, you never imagined it would start an almost three year long feud. When he and Steve come to visit, truths are revealed that change everything. | Part 2

Pairing: College!Buck x Reader

★You're my desire★ - @marvelouslizzie

summary: Your best friend drags you out on a double date. You were supposed to be Steve Rogers’ date but plans change pretty quickly and you end up in Bucky Barnes’ arms. | trust in what tomorrow brings

pairing: 40s Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

★Consequences★ - @duuhrayliegh

Summary: Your long term boyfriend decides to ask for an open relationship. You decide to cope by drowning your sorrows in the Howling Commandos bar, your barista is tired of seeing you so sad. | equal and opposite

Pairing: Bartender!Bucky x Reader

——————————————————————————

I’ll keep updating it as I read more fics (new ones will be marked with ★ )

[petertingle-yipyip]

CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE - MIGUEL OHARA

//idk why this took so long to post, it was already done when i revisited it. edit: nvm its cause i kinda missed some of the request//

Pairing: dad!miguel x GN!reader

Word Count: 1,801

Summary (request): hii, this is platonic request! can you do a fic where miguel comforts a reader ( gender neutral if possible ) who's turned 18 recently and is super anxious because their parents are pressuring them to pick a career/collage, decide what they wanna do in the future, etc and it's all making them feel really overwhelmed and restless?

“Hey there, kiddo.” Your dad strided into your room with your mom in tow. “How’s homework?”

“It’s fine.” You answered quizzically. “What’s going on here?” You gestured to the two of them.

“Well, we just came to see if you needed anything.”

“No, I’m okay. Thanks though.”

“Honey.” Your mom offered your dad a look and you could tell there was something else.

“Okay.” You sighed and pushed away from your desk. “What’s going on?”

“What do you mean?” Your dad tried, which earned him a pointed look from you.

“Alright, alright.” He put his hands up in surrender. “Your mother and I-”

“You need to start thinking about your next step.” Your mom cut in.

“Oh… Guys, I’ve still got time.” You tried. “Besides, I’m not sure what I want to major in.”

And that was true. There was so much going on with your vigilantism and latest recruitment into the Spider Society that you hadn’t had time to sit and think about your major, let alone what school you wanted. You knew MIT and Columbia were great options. Harvard was on the table, as were the other Ivys. But what was the point of applying if you didn’t know why you would be there?

“Calendar wise, yes, there’s time. But you know how steep the competition to these higher schools can be. Are you ready for the SATs? Or the ACTs?” Your mom continued, and her high emotions began to grate your own sensitive nerves.

“Mom.” You tried.

“We’ll pay the application fees.” Your dad offered, though your mom was still on her rant.

“No, I don’t need you to.” You told him.

“And your personal essay, what would you write about? Do you have any ideas? Oh goodness, there’s so much to do.”

“Mom.” You said roughly, finally cutting through her own words. “I don’t know, okay? I’ve been busy… I haven’t thought about it.”

“You can’t waste time anymore, Y/N.” Your mom said firmly, pushing your chair back against the desk.

“I’m not wasting time, Mom. Please just relax.”

“Sweetie, maybe Y/N needs to do this at a different pace.” Your dad offered and you gave a thankful expression.

“I don’t care.” She snapped. “My child won’t miss an opportunity because of hesitation.”

She slid your laptop in front of you and then leaned down to meet your eyes. “This is your chance to get somewhere better than this.”

“I like where I come from.” You said honestly.

“That doesn’t mean you have to stay here.”

“How about I take Y/N to the library to do these?” Your dad offered. “Wi-fi’s been acting up today.”

“Yeah, and maybe I’ll find inspiration.” You added on. “I can look through some books and see if anything feels right… I get what you’re saying, Mom, but I don’t want to rush into something I shouldn’t.”

She blew out a sigh and stood straight. “Fine.” She conceeded. “But please, get at least two done today.”

“Yeah, okay.” You nodded, figuring you could at least do that much, even if just to please your mom.

After all, she had given you everything she could growing up. Her and your dad gave up a lot so you would have what you needed and what you wanted. You didn’t have everything under the sun but you had more than enough. And that dedication was what inspired your actions as a spider-person. Your parents looked out for you in ways no one else ever would. They put everything on the line for a payout that didn’t always go in their favor, but in yours.

And being able to give that back to the community you grew up in, the community that supported you and welcomed you. That was what you wanted your adult life to be, something so giving and so genuine that it could inspire someone else to do the same.

But what kind of career or schooling could give that to you?

When your dad dropped you off, he gave you his credit card and said your mom would be checking the account to see the pending charge so you had to keep your end of the deal. You offered a laugh and thanked him for getting you out of the house.

“Kid, I know she’s a bit overbearing but she wants what’s best for you.” Your dad said honestly.

“I know, Dad.” You nodded. “I’m just a little bit caught in the middle right now. Can’t look too far ahead.”

“Can’t look back, either… Remember where you come from, of course, but don’t let it hold you back. Okay?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“Call when you’re done.”

You offered a lazy sluate before skipping up the library steps. Once your dad’s car was out of view, you ducked around the side of the building to the library’s alley. You pulled your watch from your backpack before tucking it behind the usual pile of boxes and fit the device into place. You weren’t even in your suit but you’d wandered HQ in your pajamas before, so coming in your school clothes wouldn’t be a big deal.

Once you stepped through your portal, various spider-people greeted you in the halls. You offered nods or waves but didn’t stop for much conversation, not until you reached the head honcho’s office.

“What are you doing here?” He asked without turning to face you. Surprisingly, his platform was actually ground level today, meaning no one had annoyed him enough to raise it. “Don’t you have something else you should be doing?”

“No.” You shrugged. “It’s still daylight back home and the weirdos don’t start till dusk, at least so…”

“Not what I meant.”

“Then what?”

“Those college applications you promised your mom.”

“Oh…”

“Yeah, oh.”

“Why are you spying on me anyway?” You asked, hoping to change the subject.

“Because you, insectito, are the biggest pain the ass here… So what’s the problem then?”

“I don’t know what I wanna do with my life.” You said honestly, scooting some of his papers over so you could sit on the desk. “Mom wants me to just throw my name in the pot everywhere to see what happens and Dad just wants to make Mom happy.”

“Mmm.. And what do you want?”

You shrugged. ���I dunno.”

“What do you like to do? Any classes in school get you excited?”

“Not really.. Bio is cool sometimes but..”

“That’s a start.” He glanced over with a small, almost proud smile that lasted half a second. “Biology major is broad enough to start picking schools.”

“I guess but-”

“What about bio do you like?”

“Miguel, can you just-”

“People, plants, or animals?”

You groaned and flopped backwards on the desk, throwing your arms over your eyes. You thought coming to Miguel would be a good time to rant and not be given advice, because half of the time he seemed to drown out your voice anyways. But of course the one time you just needed him to ignore your words, he had to do the exact opposite of what you wanted.

“You’re the worst.” You muttered, to which you felt a kick to your foot. “Hey!”

“Y/N, your parents are right.” He started and you groaned again. “You’re a smart kid but you have to find some sort of direction.”

“I’m just caught up in the middle, trying to keep going.. But it’s just not that simple.” You complained and when you got no answer, you kept talking. “But I have to keep going or they’ll call me a quitter.”

“Who will?”

“Everyone.” You shrugged. “I don’t know, probably no one.”

Miguel turned fully and took hold of your arms to haul you upright. You let out a loud sound of complaint as he did so and you didn’t bother to fight it, not that you’d have much of a chance to do so anyway. You dramatically let your head fall back so you could see his expression and he looked down at you with a small smile. You huffed a sigh and raised your brows expectantly as you waited for him to say something.

“What about a geneticist?” He offered and you were taken aback, no doubt your face showing it because he gave a quick chuckle. “I’m serious.”

“Yeah, you usually are but what the hell are you talking about?” You said in bewilderment.

He shrugged slightly before turning back to his work and you couldn’t help but follow him.

“You’re always lurking around to see what I’m doing.” He explained. “You ask questions about what I do and how all of my stuff works.”

“Like that injection you refuse to talk about.” You agreed and peaked up with a questioning expression. Without looking at you, he pushed your face away.

“Exactly.” He agreed with a nod. “And then you could study your own DNA and see if you can find anything cool.”

“I could give myself fangs!” You yelled with excitement before camping a hand over your mouth when you realized how loud you were.

“Yeah, and then you give yourself a lisp.” He rolled his eyes slightly. “What I’m saying is that maybe some sort of higher level biology career is where you’re heading… You’re one of the smarter spiders around here anyways. Might as well do something other than engineering.”

“Don’t you think science in general is a bit stereotypical for a spider? … Oh, shit. Is it our canon?”

“No.” He laughed a little. “There’s a Peter Parker around here that’s a photographer for a newspaper.”

“Oh.. That’s fun?” You tried.

“He takes fake candids of Spiderman and sells them to his Daily Bugle.” Miguel deadpanned and you laughed. “Not every spider leads a strenuous academic life.”

“But you think I could?”

“I think you should. Y/N, you’re always challenging yourself physically. Maybe it’s time to do it academically.” He shrugged. “But what do I know?”

You pursed your lips in thought as you considered his words. Maybe not genetics, but a STEM field could be fun. And with your current academic status, you’d be able to swing one of the better programs with better labs and better opportunities. You could try your hand at different branches and see what stuck. Even if you didn’t find one, you’d have a better direction for a graduate school at the very least.

“Thanks.” You said honestly with a small smile. “That actually helped… You always do.”

He put a hand on your head and gave you a small shake that made you laugh.

You went home after that and headed straight into the library after you fished out your backpack. You ended up doing four applications and got a text from your mom after each one. With every submission, you felt a little less stuck.

[theambitiouswoman]

I love your blog and your positive guidance.

Do you have any good thoughts on finding a purpose and meaning in life?

I'm struggling a bit atm to figure out a direction for myself and would love to hear what you have to say on the matter.

Thanks in advance if you have a chance to respond!

Thank you!!

To discover your purpose you need to really know who you are as a person or want to be. Your purpose is not something that always comes you. We need to look for it. And we do that by giving ourselves the opportunity to put ourselves out there and learn new things. You will figure out in this process, that some things make you feel a special way that other things don't - even if you find temporary enjoyment in it. I think your purpose is a combination of your qualities, your heart, the things you enjoy, and the the person you envision yourself to be.

Start putting yourself out there and think about your interests, values and passions. What makes you feel most alive and fulfilled? What issues or causes do you care deeply about.

I think you will find in your journey, that you will know you are in the right place doing the right things when opportunities start appearing out of nowhere. Just because you may not see the whole staircase, does not mean it isn't there. You just have to trust and take the next step.

Ask yourself what are you naturally good at? Think about what you want to achieve in different areas of your life: career, relationships, personal growth, etc.

Try new experiences, even if they're outside your comfort zone. New experiences can lead to self-discovery and help you uncover hidden interests and passions. Read books, watch documentaries, or listen to inspirational talks that resonate with you. Exposure to different ideas and perspectives can spark insights about your own purpose. Spend time with people who inspire and support you, and engage in activities that create a sense of belonging. Pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, and reactions. This can help you better understand what truly matters to you.

Remember that your purpose can change and evolve as you grow and experience different stages of life. It's okay to revisit and redefine your purpose as needed. The key is to remain open to self discovery and be willing to embrace opportunities that align with your evolving sense of purpose.

[kingboohoo37]

KBH RANDOM RANT

I'M BACK... at least I try to post more often. Streams will also come more regularly (surely...).

I'm slowly getting back to work so my time is still very limited. I thought this was a good time to bring back my random rants about fandoms since I just revisited an old classic from my childhood.

YEP we're talking about Kim Possible one of the most ludicrous fictional universes I've ever seen... In a good way!

First up: This show is FUDGING 22 YEARS OLD THIS YEAR... I'm really getting old...

The funny part about that is it was made during the peak of the 2000s... and you really notice that. The language that most teenagers use in this show is so stereotypical for that time it feels so nostalgic even watching it XD

Anyway, let's get the obvious out of the way. I know this is supposed to be a kids cartoon and I know that I'm an adult man but that doesn't stop me from watching it.

So, why is this show so great?

Good question! Its primary charm probably comes from its simple comedic attitude of telling a story.

The characters are so ridiculous that you should never be able to take this show seriously simply because most of their actions or the situations around them don't even make sense. This show just requires you to take in its vibe and go with the flow. I mean... a teenager knowing 16 forms of Kung Fu and saving the world on any given occasion is nothing that can possibly make sense. Don't forget: "Anything's possible for a Possible!"

Let's get into the characters:

Kim is your basic teenage girl, and she's here to save the world. You can't stop her 'cause...

Okay I'll stop xD

Apart from her being an ass-kicking girl boss, her main character traits are kinda the things you expect from a main character. She saves the world out of sheer will to stick to her morals. In short: she wants to help people. That obviously doesn't always work out and she sometimes ends up judging people by what they are instead of who they are. On top of that, she gets jealous easily.

BUT she is brave, smart, and makes usually good choices in the heat of the moment (except when it comes to love xD), and is otherwise very mature for her age.

Well... the opening song didn't lie. She really is your basic teenage girl. That doesn't mean she isn't cool xD

Well, obviously I can't end it without talking about the man and his very smart and hungry naked little friend.

What makes this show so funny is well... its ability to deliver comedy simply by a character existing and Ron Stoppable plays a big part in that.

He is pretty much a normal guy who just happens to be Kim's childhood friend and later somehow steals her heart xD

He is an absolute doofus. He is silly and rarely takes anything seriously. He is also lazy and loves his favorite junk food joint Bueno Nacho.

Despite all that he still cares for his friends, his naked mole rat Rufus, and usually learns a very important lesson after an episode.

He accompanies Kim on pretty much every mission and is usually more of a hindrance than a help. Despite all that Kim still loves him in her own way. And he also saves the day a couple of times, so it's not like he is a complete slob.

Rufus is just the cherry on top. Both of these guys are hilarious and I was honestly surprised by how much I laughed watching this show.

I could go on and on but I'm gonna try to finish up this post here before it gets too long xD

Even though every episode has kind of a similar structure, it never gets boring. The villains, the side characters... all of them add something very unique to the table. You just throw some characters together and boom the story kind of writes itself XD

Season 4 was my absolute favorite part of the show since guess what ... that was when Kim and Ron started dating and BOY DO THEY MAKE A CUTE COUPLE.

Ahem... anyways. I do not regret watching all 87 episodes in the last 2-3 weeks. If you're looking for a comfortable. goofy and funny way to escape reality for a moment I can only recommend this old classic.

[frosted-night]

For personal reasons, here are the hcs I wrote for how the guardians help a believer dealing with loss. These might be heavy.

North: While giving new gifts would be rather moot, he'd try to encourage the believer to revisit gifts their loved one gave them. Even down to smallest object. He'd tell them it's okay to feel complicated feelings towards it and help them find ways to preserve it. (While trying to nip any possible signs of hoarding in the bud.) He hasn't delt with this scenario often but he does his best.

Aster: His center shines the brightest during this scenario. He becomes very gentle and carefully tries to get the believer somewhere quiet and open to where they could process their thoughts. Aster would make sure to remind them that while death may be inevitable, they can enjoy what part of their life was shared with their deceased loved one. He'd show them that there's so much left for them to live and to keep that glimmer of hope alive.

Sandy: He can find this topic difficult, because he knows sometimes dreams of dead loved ones can be more upsetting rather than comforting. Instead, he'd conduct the dreamsand to try to give the believer a dream that they want more than anything. Something to comfort them or just to allow them to glimpse at the person they want to see more than anything. Sandy tries to limit this as he's scared the believer might reject reality if he's not careful.

Tooth: Like Aster, its something she's come across constantly, maybe even more than him. From a child grieving their first pet, to something complicated and soul crushing. She looks through their memories and makes sure they stay in good shape. Her cases are designed to tell her or her fairies when a human needs them the most. Tooth knows those memories might fade one day but she can keep them safe for as long as possible.

Katherine: She can often see when someone vents through writing or journaling about a tough situation. Loss is one Katherine tries to approach delicately. While initially she may not have much to work with, she uses her literary magic to send stories or media to the believer to help them process what they're feeling. Maybe a story of someone in their exact situation getting the comfort they need, a song that expresses the difficult emotions or a story/movie them and their loved one enjoyed. Its very indirect but its worth it in her opinion.

Jack: It was hard to him at first, since he knew telling someone to "go outside" wouldn't just make the pain go away. It confused him. He'd tell them they don't need to keep a stiff upper lip or force a smile. They're allowed to be happy in the absence of a loved one, he'd say, and that no being alive could say otherwise. Jack would try not to step over their boundaries but would sit with them for as long as they needed or wanted him there.

Ombric: It's cruel in his opinion how time can cause such pain for others, but it is inevitable. That doesn't stop him from feeling empathy of course. While he can't interact with them directly, Ombric would whisper across the sands of time to the creatures around their dwelling. Just enough to have them check on that person in their own way. Butterflies lingering near their windows, bees staying for just a little longer than usual. He knows it isn't much but it could mean the world to the right person.

Man In The Moon: the wishes of someone in mourning sting the hardest for him at times. He understands it completely but knows he can never grant those wishes no matter how much it hurts. Instead, he'd try to search for anything else that would help ease their suffering. If no wish would suffice, Manny would contact the appropriate guardian to assist. If nothing else, he'd make sure they can see the moon's glow at night. To remind them that even in the darkest night, there's always a light looking down at them.

[hongherbac]

[Hatori centric] Off Duty

Read it on AO3

Words: 3,559

Characters: Hatori, Serizawa, Shimazaki

Additional Tags: Overworking, Exhaustion, Angst, Comfort, Friendship, Dialogue Heavy

Summary:

Hatori was overworking, and Serizawa was concerned.

It's said that the effects of sleep deprivation are similar to being drunk. And you know, drunk people speak the truth.

Off Duty

　　A cell phone rang in the dimly lit office. The owner of the cell phone was a young, little man with tousled brown hair, hunched over in a non-ergonomically shaped chair, his feet long since kicked out of their indoor slippers, his hands clasped around his knees, and his white socks stomping on the chair cushion, resembling an armadillo curled up in a ball of terror. He wore over-ear headphones and let the high decibel pop music wash over his senses. He did not move at all, except for the faint rise and fall of his breath, and his glasses reflected the pale, glaring light from three computer monitors, the windows on the screens constantly changing.

　　Above his head, a faint fluorescent light hummed and flickered, barely illuminating half of the corner; the rest of the office remained silent and dark, without the usual signs of life, as if abandoned at the edge of time.

　　The ringing broke the silence. The computer screen suddenly stopped switching windows. Hatori paused, glancing at the time in the lower right corner before muttering a low curse. He took off his headset, stretched his stiff body to reach the phone, swiped to answer with his thumb, and put it to his ear. The blanket that had been draped around his shoulders had already slipped off, and now it fell straight to the floor.

　　"Hi, Serizawa." His voice was dry and raspy, "Sorry, I lost track of time - I know I promised you before, but work's been really busy today. I'm still working overtime. We'll do it another day, okay?"

　　"Of course! It's all right, don't worry about it."

　　Serizawa's voice was as warm and friendly as ever.

　　"It's just an online game anyway, and we can always revisit the previous quests." Serizawa smiled softly, but couldn't hide a hint of worry, "But...... it's Saturday, and it's already ten at night."

　　"Hmm."

　　"You said you were working overtime yesterday at this time."

　　"Yeah, I know."

　　"And the day before yesterday -"

　　"That's just how work is. What can I do?" Hatori took off his glasses and rubbed his sore eye sockets with the back of his hand, stifling a big yawn, "Sorry, I have to get back to work. Talk later, bye."

　　He hung up the phone, put it back on the table, and picked up the coffee pot to pour himself a cup. Holding the pot above the mug, it took him a moment to realize that the coffee pot was empty. He didn't remember drinking that much coffee, but the evidence was there. And he must have had too much, because he could feel the veins in his head throbbing.

　　Hatori brewed another pot of coffee, picked up the blanket from the floor, draped it back over his shoulders, and retreated back into the armadillo-like position. The three computer monitors began flashing again, scrolling through a multitude of complex, incomprehensible commands, rapidly switching between various windows, data, documents, and photographs. Although the large amount of information was already running at a rather impressive speed, those familiar with Hatori's work would easily notice that it was actually much slower than usual.

　　As the night wore on, the air grew colder.

　　Time passed. Outside, a light drizzle began. Raindrops pattered softly against the window pane.

　　Suddenly, the window creaked open, and a tall figure squeezed in. Serizawa bent down to hold the window frame, carefully yet clumsily trying to dodge the miscellaneous office clutter, but still ended up accidentally knocking over a broomstick - THUD! The wood struck the floor, causing Hatori to look up, staring in surprise as Serizawa picked it up awkwardly.

　　"Serizawa? What are you doing here?"

　　"Uh. Hi, Hatori." Serizawa gave a very embarrassed smile, "I was just thinking...... Well, I thought you might not have eaten properly again. I didn't want to go to bed anyway, so I brought you some snacks."

　　He did have two plastic bags in his hand.

　　"Is this okay? I don't want to interrupt your work. Maybe you can eat it during your break. There's miso soup in there. It's better when it's hot. If you have a steam cooker here, I could put it in there to keep it warm for you?"

　　Hatori blinked, "Oh...... Thanks. Could you put it on the table over there? I'll be there in a minute."

　　"Of course. Of course. But please don't forget to eat it. You used to forget all the time."

　　"If that's the case, do you want to stay and keep an eye on me?"

　　"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to -"

　　"I'm kidding. I meant, do you want to stay and eat with me? After all, you bought it. But it's late, so you might want to get some rest."

　　"Oh, no, no! I...... I'd be happy to."

　　Serizawa gave a blushing smile, seeming genuinely pleased. He carried the plastic bags to the low table Hatori had just pointed out. There were two couches next to the table, a coffee machine against the wall, a snack cabinet full of junk food, and a small refrigerator humming loudly. Serizawa put the bags down on the low table, and took out some hot, steaming takeout containers.

　　Hatori opened a drawer and found a box of painkillers. He took two pills and washed them down with a gulp of strong coffee. Serizawa didn't say anything, but Hatori could feel the worried look of his old colleague. "It's just a headache."

　　He picked up the fallen blanket for the umpteenth time, shuffled stiffly to the wall and tried several times before he found the right switch to illuminate the area around the low table with a cool, bright glow. Hatori collapsed onto the couch. His body went limp. He watched as Serizawa unwrapped the disposable chopsticks and placed them neatly on the edge of the container. Inside the large container was a steaming bowl of oden, filled with various ingredients that absorbed the rich broth of dried bonito and kelp. Serizawa always assumed that everyone ate as much as he did.

　　They sat next to each other. Serizawa was tall and broad, wrapped in an orange striped hanten. It kept him warm, and looked decent enough in the middle of the night.

　　Hatori, on the other hand, looked simply awful. His brown hair was sticking out in all directions, his face was pale and bloodless, and even under the blanket, he felt a constant chill in his arms and legs. He picked up a piece of fish cake with his chopsticks, and chewed it slowly in small bites. His vacant, lifeless eyes fixed on some empty spot in the dark office, as if his consciousness had a mind of its own, constantly looking for a chance to slip away from him.

　　Hatori relied heavily on his psychic powers to work. It didn't take an esper to see that he was drained at this moment.

　　The energy of a Super Five was not that easy to drain.

　　He ate the fish cake in silence, then a chikuwa , some radish, and some seaweed. Serizawa pushed a bowl of miso soup towards him. The nourishing food slowly warmed his body.

　　Serizawa ate a little too, but it was more of a polite gesture. They remained silent, quietly eating their late night snack and sipping the hot soup. Outside the window, the rain gradually intensified, and the constant sound of dripping water seemed to isolate this lonely, dimly lit building in the night. It took a long time before Hatori finally opened his mouth.

　　"There was an international case."

　　He rubbed his eyes, knowing they were dry and bloodshot.

　　"A human trafficking organization... The U.S. has approached the Japanese government for cooperation. You have no idea how terrible their database is. It's like trying to find a ring in 500 piles of garbage."

　　"Oh, God." Serizawa frowned, "Is there anything I can do?"

　　"We're on it. Those guys are slippery, but I know I'll catch them sooner or later. It just...... needs to take some time. There's so much data to sift through, to decode, to match, to analyze. It's a mountain of work."

　　"Joseph really shouldn't have given you so much work."

　　"What? Oh, no. It has nothing to do with him this time. He even tried to convince me to go home and sleep. I told him to go fuck himself."

　　"Go home and sleep? Have you been sleeping in the office?"

　　"Yeah, commuting takes too much time. I'd rather save it. And there are cookies. By the way, if you see anything you want, just help yourself. Take the whole bag if you like."

　　"How many days have you been working overtime?"

　　"How would I remember?" Hatori said flatly, "It doesn't matter."

　　"But -"

　　"You know, that's just the way I am. I can't stand to see things left undone."

　　Serizawa wanted to say something but hesitated, struggling for a moment before finally dropping his gaze to his hands. "Right. I remember you've always been like that. The President was always careful not to give you too much work. He said it was like giving candy to a child. He had to prevent you from eating it all at once and ending up with a stomach ache."

　　"Did he really say that?" Hatori chuckled, "He always understood his subordinates well."

　　"Well...... yes."

　　"Do you remember the time Shimazaki tried to skip a meeting, and the Boss just led a raid on that cult organization? Shimazaki regretted it for a long time; he had been really looking forward to tearing them apart himself. And Minegishi was furious. He thought Shimazaki made him to take on extra work."

　　"Yes, I remember." Serizawa smiled.

　　"Of all the psychic power criminal organizations I've seen, none could compare to the 'Claw'. And there's no one like the Boss."

　　"The President...... How is he doing?"

　　"He's doing well. Still very much an influence. Half the prison is basically under his command now. I think he's been studying shogi lately, and reading a lot of astrophysics. Ha, maybe next time he'll try to conquer the universe."

　　"That's good to hear."

　　Serizawa tried to answer with a smile, but it faded away, giving way to deep contemplation.

　　"Do you still care about him?" Hatori didn't look at him and picked up another piece of tofu, "I heard that he drained your energy and threw you out of the Seasoning Tower. If Minegishi hadn't arrived in time, you might have died that day."

　　"I...... Well, it sounds stupid. But I'm still grateful to him."

　　"He used you."

　　 "That's right, but - But things aren't that simple. It's not just this or that -" Serizawa gestured awkwardly, "He, the President, he found me. He took me out of my room, taught me how to live outside. He made me believe that I could be useful. He made it possible for me to come this far."

　　"You can visit him, you know. Every Saturday at two o'clock. Twenty minutes."

　　"That time belongs to Shou. I don't want to intrude on them."

　　"The Boss would be happy to see you." Hatori said blandly, "He asks about you a lot. He's worried that you're being used by that fraudster. That's true, in a way. But I assured him you're doing well."

　　Serizawa's eyes melted, "...... Thank you."

　　"Mm."

　　There was still plenty of food left, but Hatori had already put down his chopsticks. Serizawa took out two bottles of barley tea out of another plastic bag, opened the cap for Hatori, and poured it into the empty coffee mug while saying:

　　"How about you?"

　　"Me? What about me?"

　　"That day at the Seasoning Tower, the President...... He didn't just come after me."

　　Well done, Hatori. I knew I could trust you.

　　"Oh, yeah, Minegishi still holds a grudge about that. Strange, isn't it? He seemed to have expected this to happen, but he still stayed with us until the end. I don't think he'll ever forgive the Boss."

　　"I'm talking about you, Hatori."

　　Hatori, you're the only one I truly trust. I'm so glad I found you.

　　"There's nothing to say. I don't care. It's all in the past. My ex-boss tried to kill me for failing to do my job? That would look good on a resume."

　　"You care about the President." Serizawa pointed out gently, "I think you do care."

　　"......"

　　You have no use anymore. I'll just start over.

　　"...... I don't know." Hatori shrank back into the couch. His back hunched, his hands cupped around the heavy mug, "Sometimes I feel like I can understand where the Boss was coming from. He had that ambition for twenty years. And we...... I let him down. He wanted to start over. And there's nothing wrong with that.

　　He stared into the mug. The surface of the barley tea reflected the thin, white shadows of the fluorescent light, twisting and distorting with the slightest movement.

　　"Have you ever heard of the first man to reach the South Pole? He used dogs to pull the sleds. As time went on, they gradually used up the supplies. They didn't need as much power, so he slaughtered the dogs for food."

　　"Oh, my God." Serizawa was horrified. "Poor dogs."

　　"People called him cold-blooded, heartless. But he succeeded. That's how it is. You have to be useful, or you can't blame others for throwing you away."

　　"But that...... That's not right."

　　"What's not right?"

　　"A - Abandoning companions like that. Like everything that happened before never mattered. Like they have no feelings, just something to be used up." Serizawa's hands twisted, "That's not right. People are not tools."

　　"...... Maybe. But most people don't think that way."

　　"How do you know?"

　　Hatori grinned a tired smile, gesturing toward the computer. "You forget what I do for a living. If they weren't encrypted, I could go through thousands of devices in a day. There are tons of private files on them. And now cell phones and laptops usually come with cameras. I guarantee you wouldn't want to know the details. People can be really disgusting behind closed doors."

　　Serizawa looked away uncomfortably.

　　"You don't even need to go that far. Just look around."

　　"What do you mean?"

　　"People hate me." Hatori said as plainly as he could, "It has always been like that. But it's because of my abilities, because I can do things they'll never be able to, that they're taking me seriously."

　　Serizawa shook his head, "No, it's not."

　　"My coworkers barely talk to me. The only reason they do is that they need my help."

　　"No."

　　"Face it. The 'Claw' is gone, and we have to grow up. The reality is, the Boss had never trusted us. Everyone just wants me to shut up, and be an obedient, useful tool."

　　"May-maybe there's some kind of misunderstanding......"

　　Hatori fell silent. His whole body was still on the couch, as if he was shrinking inward, but also ready to spring outward at any moment. The fluorescent light suddenly flickered, blinking on and off a few times, like unstable voltage. But when Serizawa looked up in concern, it immediately stabilized again.

　　Outside, the rain gradually stopped, while the night grew deeper and deeper, seeping into the building through the dark windows. The wall clock ticked steadily. Several computers had gone into sleep mode, emitting a low hum. Hatori stared blankly as shadows took over the office, turning everything into a dim blur. After a while, he finally spoke again:

　　"...... And that's what pisses me off about you."

　　Serizawa opened his mouth, his eyes wide and panicked, "I - I - I'm sorry! I didn't mean to offend you -"

　　"I don't understand," Hatori said, almost to himself, "why you're always so positive. So optimistic. You act like you just have to try hard enough, be a good person, then everything will get better automatically."

　　"I'm really sorry. I......"

　　"You should know better. It's because of your incredible powers that the Boss went looking for you back then."

　　The big guy flinched as if something had hit him. Like a wounded animal. Serizawa blurted out defensively, "It's because of that power that I locked myself in my room."

　　"Do you know how many hikikomori there are in Japan?" Hatori blinked, immediately retrieving the information, "About a million. Most of them don't have psychic powers, and they don't have a boss to bring them out. You're lucky, that's all. You're strong, you met the right people, you're tall and kind. And I -"

　　Hatori jabbed his finger heavily against his own chest.

　　" - I at least have some self-awareness. I know, without my powers, I'm just nothing."

　　A dreadful silence filled the room. Serizawa lowered his eyes, looking at his clenched hands, his shoulders stiff with tension. Hatori stared at the mug in his hand. He wished the surface would stop shaking.

　　Squeak.

　　The couch suddenly groaned, sinking slightly under the weight. In the blink of an eye, Shimazaki appeared beside them, sitting comfortably on the couch with his legs crossed.

　　As usual, he was dressed in a sharp dark jacket over a burgundy shirt, perfectly suited for the night; though he looked more at home in a nightclub or a bar than in a cluttered office smelling of old documents. Shimazaki's eyelids half-closed as he placed a plastic supermarket bag on the low table, and took out a few chilled cans of beer, still beaded with condensation from the fridge.

　　Serizawa called out hesitantly, "Shimazaki?"

　　"Just happened to be nearby. Thought I heard two big rats sneaking a snack." Shimazaki smiled lightly, "And I guess you guys could use a little booze."

　　"Thank you. We're not rats."

　　"Really? I can't see it. I'm blind."

　　Shimazaki placed a can of beer in front of Serizawa, then took away Hatori's mug, opened a beer can for him, and slipped it into his hand. Shimazaki grabbed the third can of beer for himself, and began to dig into the remaining oden.

　　Hatori glared gloomily at the beer. He muttered, "Ah, whatever." and downed the alcohol in large gulps.

　　Serizawa said nothing, opened his beer and sipped quietly.

　　Minutes passed in silence before it was finally broken by Hatori. He set the can down with a thud. It was half empty. Then he slumped back into the couch, his body slack and limp, rattling the springs in the worn cushions. His breathing was shallow, his chest rising and falling rapidly, and most of his face was hidden in the shadow of the couch. His gaze was even more vacant and dull than earlier.

　　"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I'm glad you're happy, meeting those people...... and finding things you really want to do. I have no right to complain. I'm the one who messed up my life. It's my problem."

　　"No, Hatori. Please don't say that." Serizawa said softly.

　　Serizawa's hand clenched and unclenched.

　　"You - you just said...... that if you didn't have your powers......"

　　"That was stupid. Sorry, forget it."

　　"I was just thinking that if you didn't have your powers, maybe we wouldn't have been colleagues at the 'Claw', and we wouldn’t be friends now. And that...... would really be a shame. Because whether you had powers or not, I’d still want to be friends with you."

　　"......"

　　Serizawa looked at the other former colleague with a bit of uncertainty, "I believe Shimazaki feels the same?"

　　Shimazaki pondered, "Well, my life would definitely be better if you didn't mess with my cell phone all the time. So - Yeah. What he said."

　　"......"

　　For a moment, Hatori didn't react at all. His head rested on the couch cushion. His gaze was blank and scattered, difficult to focus, as he stared into some point in the void."

　　"...... Serizawa." Hatori's hollow voice came from the shadows, "I'm so tired."

　　He closed his eyes, letting out a faint, almost inaudible sigh. His head slowly slid down to his chest. His body was curled up, looking small and fragile. His breathing gradually became deep and steady. Serizawa watched his still companion carefully, and whispered, "Is he asleep?" Shimazaki nodded.

　　"I'll take him home."

　　Shimazaki reached out, holding Hatori's back and knees. The two disappeared in a flash.

　　The night was drizzly, but it cleared up the next day. Hatori finally slept in his own soft, cozy bed he'd missed for so long, instead of the old, rough couch. He was tucked under thick blankets, his body relaxed and warmed by the nutritious meal. His glasses had been gently removed, folded and placed beside him neatly. The curtains were deliberately drawn shut to keep the morning light from disturbing his sleep. The next day - the next day was Sunday, so Hatori did not have to worry about oversleeping. When he woke up the next day, he would be surprised to find himself at home. No waking up stiff and sore. No blankets slipping off the floor, leaving his limbs bare and cold. No co-workers bursting into the office, jolting him out of his stupor to continue another day of work. The next day, Hatori would also realize that he had left his cell phone and wallet in the office. He had no idea how he was going to catch the bus to work on Monday.

　　But that was all for the next day. Tonight, he slept soundly.

(The End)

[autisticempathydaemon]

your match-up game looks like so much funnn so i'm gonna submit one for myself 💖

dragula by rob zombie …. i only rly discovered it like two weeks ago but it’s one i play a lot while working bc for some reason it helps me focus lol

just took a test and got nine, the peacemaker. idk much abt enneagrams 🫣

hmm yes but only when i’m feeling spicy. and they’re almost always about video games in some regard, like analyses or creepypasta deep dives yk?

i don’t think i ever had a REAL imaginary friend. i remember trying for a little while because i thought it’s what all kids were supposed to do, but i never like. Believed in it

sleep aid audios! lately it’s been redacted (i have a whole folder of faves on my phone lol) but before that it was asmrtists like gibi. sometimes i take melatonin too ‘cause it takes me ages to fall asleep 😪

i changed my name around late 2019 to angel when i was just coming into my nonbinary-ness; i took it from the video game borderlands 2! i went back to my given name in 2021/2022 but being angel was fun for a while <3

milo’s panic attack audio i think. i was just getting into redacted and starting from the top and it just made me feel so cozy and locked him in as a fave :’) OOH also the pack smash tournament!! i love multi-speaker videos and that one was so much fun

vincent ……. i’m so sorry i’ve tried three times to listen to his playlist but he bores me 😭 the farthest i’ve gotten is past adam, though i listened to his involvement in inversion and picked up with him after the summit

do video games count bc if so i can quote resident evil 4 2005 ALLLL DAY LONG it’s my favorite game ever. if not i’m gonna say lilo and stitch ‘cause that’s my biggest comfort movie

 HUXLEY. like dgmw i love his non-canon audios & he’d be just the sweetest boyfriend but i want to be his friend so baadlyyy i just need one good huxley hug and i think it would cure me

nooo when i’m sleepy i just get quiet 🫠 i’m not a big talker in general i think

blue raspberry slushie + honey bun OR dr pepper + chili cheese fritos. depends on my mood

recently ummm it’s been a playlist i made called violent devotion, which is basically just yandere-type songs hehe

aw man ok. so i was a big homestuck fan in my teens and i rly loved broadway karkat, & last week i discovered all my faves are on spotify :’) so i made a playlist of them and spent all weekend revisiting my past

HMM okay here’s some rapid fire facts: i’m the eldest of three, i’m a dog person, i’m an introvert,  i can be very stubborn (taurus 👋🏻), i tend to prefer video games over tv/movies, and overall personality-wise i relate the most to honey out of all the listeners!

So I consider a lot of factors when I do these, I swear I do. That said- you’re a Honey-kinnie but also a dog person? Who else can I pair you with but Asher?

Your personality types, in addition to your being an eldest child, hint to me that you’re a steadfast, reliable person and therefore an excellent foil to Asher who could use someone like that in his life to ground him. In contrast, I think his extroverted, bubbly nature would bring you out of your shell, endear you to the rest of the pack as the beta’s mate. Also, I think your love of video games and homestuck would really bring y’all together. (Out of all the boys, he’s deffo the most likely to be a homestuck.)

You’d have such a fun, chill life together, because Asher keeps it fun and chill, you know? I think Asher spends a lot of time wolfed out and with his big, dog head on your lap while you play video games. He jumps during the scary games and shifts back during co-ops so he can play with you. He comes home from a gig with either a honey bun or Fritos, because he wasn’t sure what the vibe was today, so he’ll eat whichever one you don’t want. You do 7/11 snack runs and compete to see who has the bluest tongue. It’s a great life.

Song:

Ooh, I'm in love/ It's a mystery/ When I see you out at night/ I start to get dizzy/ Before I see you I pick out some things to say/ Don't want to sound foolish and waste my chance away/ Oh, I'm not gonna make the same mistakes/ I'm not gonna run/ Just pick the boy you like

This song is peak Asher-vibes; do you know what I mean? Like, I think this is the kind of music he’d like, this sort of alternative indie pop rock sound. (Side note, the guitarist’s name is literally Darlin, so that’s a sign right there.) This song in particular is so fun and catchy; I can see Asher singing this at you incessantly no matter how long he’s already been your boyfriend.

Runner-ups:

Milo is a runner-up because you’re a dog person /hj It’s also because I would kill to watch him watch you play RE4 or any other horror game- that would be hilarious. Guy is another runner-up because, behind Asher, he’s the second most likely to have had a homestuck phase.

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[swholli]

Ok, so, maybe I’m just not the right shade of autistic for it, but I’ve never “based my identity” on a piece of fiction?

I saw the ask about h*gwarts houses and in the replies someone asks “is there a series not written by a bigot I can base my identity on?”

And while I know the reply was likely only half serious it got me thinking; a healthy separation of self and media is a good thing that I think late stage capitalism is robbing us of it.

My special interests for many years has been Star Wars- a series I’ve been obsessed with in a way that I can put on mostly any of the movies and find comfort in revisiting them.

I don’t think of myself in terms of “jedi” or “sith” or anything like that. I don’t think about the greater philosophical implications of the lore and then apply that to myself in the real world, it’s fiction written by a fallible human. Not everything within it has some secret real truth other than what you get out of it. Not every piece of fiction you interact with and interpret has to be your new religion.

But in the age of hyper consumption, where everything is content and watching any new show or movie has an expectation of having done your homework on the complex lore and characters and previous works: It’s not a stretch to say the media is specifically designing itself to be consumed this way. They want you to form an identity around it, attach yourself to it, because then you’re less likely to leave the fandom no matter what they put out and will always stay a loyal customer to the brand.

I mentioned Star Wars because it’s the argument I made when h*gwarts legacy came out. If George Lucas came on Twitter and started bashing trans folk and donating his billions of Disney dollars to anti-trans causes, well even if was a little sad to do, I’d just stop watching Star Wars.

I like the media I consume, I am not the media I consume. I do not and have not based my core tenants of my beliefs and personality on someone else’s mythos.

I’m not saying this to imply that I’m somehow better than anyone, I think we’re all capable of understanding. I think for some it really is like leaving a religion. But, bro, you gotta. You have to be able to hold the things you like at an arms length sometimes and ask yourself questions about it. Not just of its text or subtext, but of the very thing itself. Because at the end of the day it is still just a thing made by people, and there are so many more worthy stories than just your favorite one.

I know they have us all bogged down with reality to the point where escapism is the only viable option to stay sane, but you can still choose your escapism. You are not beholden to something just because you liked it. It’s perfectly okay to still like things that you liked as a kid, but you’re supposed to grow and learn and change. Nothing is static, there will be new and exciting stories again, but first we have to stop giving the old stories power and let them die when it’s their time to die.

[dear-diary-mood-apathetic]

brb im fucking bawling

life story/rambling under cut

I've been doing a lot of thinking and reflecting lately. A lot of revisiting things Id have been much happier to leave in the past.

I always hated hearing how one day it would get better. Because I knew that it wouldnt be that easy. I knew I wouldnt just wake up one day and feel fine. And I think more than anything, I was scared that being okay meant losing the most integral part of my child/teen self: my rage.

I was an emotional kid growing up. I'd cry at everything and anything and all I ever wanted was for everyone to be happy. It was a burden I undertook personally at far too young of an age. Be it the eggshells I took my first steps on or the guilt I'd never let go of simply for the inconvenience of being born a baby. I saw things a child shouldnt have to see and handled emotions and situations far too grown up for a second grader. When I started to understand this, thats when I started to get angry.

I knew that the way I was treated wasnt okay, and by the time I would turn ten I'd gotten violent. I escaped into the comfort of horror media and would often find myself locked away in my dark bedroom on my phone for hours at a time scouring the corners of the internet for the next disturbing thing I could find. But I was just a kid. And that would send me down a multi-year psychotic episode that left me feeling isolated and terrified. And even more angry. I started getting into fights whenever the opportunity arose outside of the house. I wasnt even in middle school yet, but I was filled with blind, white hot rage already.

Once I made it to middle school though, some of the anger had festered into a chronic depression that felt like emotional rot. I developed a lot of awful habits and worsened a few Id picked up prior. I hurt a lot of people in my spiral downward and I still regret many of those things to this day. I was hurting and determined to make other people hurt too. But it only felt fair to me at the time; if I have to go home to my dads cruelty every single day, what did it matter who I hurt? They were supposed to feel bad for me.

It wouldn't be until about 2020 that things started to finally look up. I got my first job against my dads will, and this would be the decision that changed my entire life. I finally started to understand that I wasn't bound by my dads judgement. I met the people who would let me move into their apartment after a shitty roommate situation. And most importantly I met my boyfriend.

I went through a few relationships and there were a few roadblocks before it finally worked out for us to get together. Including my dads impulse choice to move himself, me, and my pregnant stepmother to South Carolina with no actual shelter built except a camper for them and a tent for me in July of '22. But after being friends for about a year and a half, we finally started dating in August. That November, he and one of our then mutual friends made an 8+ hour drive to pick me up on my eighteenth birthday. I turned 18 on November 6th and they started driving on the fifth. If it werent for them I'd still be stuck in South Carolina!

I really think I have my boyfriend to thank for who I am today. When we met I was sixteen and didnt plan on making it to eighteen. I dont think I wouldve without him. Hes been the most supportive and patient person as I've worked to heal a lot of wounds he didn't cause. Ive only been able to do the reflection and self help I needed because of him. I've been allowing myself to let go of the anger Ive defined myself with for so long and its scary. But I think Im going to like the gentler version of myself. The version he deserves.

Because for once in my life I feel like I'm safe. The eggshells are gone. A quiet house doesn't mean tension and a loud one no longer means violence. I can breathe and rest for the first time in a long time. I slept with an eye open for a while, but I think its finally safe to close them both.

[glittery-phantom]

Yesterday and today all I've done is be angry, cry, and be jealous, I've been taking it out on other people and myself even though I've desperately been trying not to for so long I look at my body and all my choices and I just hate myself so much every single time my friend has talked to me today I've been in this cycle of

Feeling okay so I message him and try to have a decent conversation cause I love him and wanna talk to him

Talk to him but then quickly start feeling jealous and angry so I dissappear

This has been happening over, and over, and it reached a highlight today when he sent pictures of himself that showed him sk1nny in outfits he loved and what did I do? I got livid I couldn't help but compare his body to mine I was typing out a message while he sent that and I couldn't even finish it I stopped working on it, I stopped feeling better, I just told him I had to go, and started getting angry and sobbing he told me he loved me and I couldn't say it back because I was too upset because he looked better than I did and it made me FURIOUS

I started crying uncontrollably and then for whatever reason I kept revisiting the picture and getting even more angry I started SH-ing and tried reporting the photo twice I would've did it more until I realized he didn't deserve that and I could also get banned by discord for submitting false reports over and over

I contemplated asking him to stop showing photos of himself because it upsets me but I realized that's incredibly rude and I have no right to ask him something like that he only sends them because he's happy and feels comfortable and confident doing so I know he has insecurities about himself and suffers from Ana that's why he's so sk1nny in the first place I shouldn't be getting mad at him for not being a f@t fucking failure like me point being? He didn't do anything wrong I have no right being upset in the first place it'd just break his heart if I told him I felt this way and asked him to stop sending photos of himself to me because I'm a crybaby and can't handle his success

And eventually I was so livid I just got the idea to try finding something in the photo I could use to give a backhanded compliment I knew why it was wrong of me but I just really wanted to be an asshole so I decided to critique the shirt in the most passive aggressive way possible

I sent it expecting it to hurt his feelings battling against my jealousy and my fear of hurting his feelings but to my suprise he didn't take it as rude at all he thought I was just being honest and "nice"

After that I felt so bad it didn't make me feel any better putting him down and although I was glad he didn't take it as me being passive aggressive because deep down I really don't wanna hurt him I was also so upset at myself for not even being able to be RUDE correctly is there anything I can do right?!

I just gave him a sincere apology and clarified that I was trying to be a bitch and he didn't deserve that because he did nothing wrong

To anybody who may be thinking he deserves better friends

Yes he does deserve better friends I've said this multiple times yet for some reason he refuses to stop talking to me

And I can't find it within myself to stop being his friend either it really wasn't always like this between us I don't understand why I feel this way all the sudden I've never been like this before I do still care about him and I want him to be happy yet I'm acting like such a monster and I'm trying my hardest not to be because I really am aware he doesn't AT ALL deserve to deal with this shit that's why I haven't talked about my feelings with him I am trying to protect him

I don't wanna see him hurt I don't wanna feel like this all I've done is cry and get angry he didn't do anything wrong

I want these bad experiences to just be ED dreams I can wake up from

I wish all thr hair I pulled out was from malnutrition instead

I wish I didn't feel angry and disgusted everytime I looked at my body and wish I could cut all the f@t off

I wish I could be better than him so then we'd feel like equals

I wish everytime I felt cold it was because my body was st⭐️rving itself and couldn't waste the energy trying to warm me up

I wish the bruises on my skin were from malnutrition

So many hopes and dreams yet I can't seem to achieve anything I wanna loose 35 pounds again I don't wanna look like this anymore I was gonna try SH-ing more today hoping I could remove some flesh off my stomach I hate looking at it

[reiikoz]

hellow :) angel again with a muse to throw in your face<3 thought i could contribute a staff muse to infinite by revisiting a certain past characterization that was short lived but v missed so i’m excited to explore it more this time !! as always, u can reach out to plot and chat on any of my muse blogs (jian, chaerin & jaemin) OR i’m always on discord so feel free to ask for my user !!! but yes without further ado, here’s my baby reiko c:

‧₊˚ welcome to infinite entertainment! it's AIZAWA REIKO, who is the STYLIST (MAKEUP) of TIDAL. i’ve heard whispers that the 26 year old is pretty EASYGOING but lowkey FLIPPANT. also, doesn’t she remind you of MIYAWAKI SAKURA?

feel free to take a lil looksie at her stats, plot ideas and pinterest !

FAMILY / GROWING UP

• aizawa reiko was born on january 11 1998 in kobe, japan to two loving, supportive and creative parents. she also has a brother (details coming soon as i’ve decided to make this a wanted connection aaa)

• her parents are educators with her dad being a college literature professor, currently working in new york. and her mom being a high school teacher in japan

• growing up, she didn’t have the best luck making friends. only making one with which she’s lost contact with not long after she graduated

• reiko often found herself in trouble as she began high school, whether it be contributing to the graffiti problem in her city or trespassing private abandoned property to smoke. she had too many instances where she ran from police/security and others where she waited for her parents to pick her up at the station

• it caused a brief strain on her relationship with her parents until her mom shoved watercolor paints in her hands and showed her that there were other ways to cure her insatiable need to create art and also her boredom

• she was also made to get a job as consequence so she ended up at a convenience store near the bay. her manager/boss was an old man and despite his disagreements, they were totally friends

• reiko often used her paychecks for art supplies and soon makeup

• her love for makeup stemmed from movies — especially those from sci-fi, fantasy, and horror films introduced to her by her dad

INFINITE / TIDAL

• rei would learn that her hobby of makeup was actually a passion and after a year of perfecting her craft, she began posting her looks on instagram; having gained a good following from it

• it was how she was discovered by infinite entertainment and even if she knew she would miss her family, it was easy to accept their offer and move to south korea

• she was placed with the coed band tidal when she was 20 a few years after their debut and it was. . rough when their management limited her creative control so much

• there was definitely some conflict at first involving her but as tidal's concept evolved, so did their styling and she was able to feel more at ease

PERSONALITY

• carefree, witty, protective, opinionated

• flippant, stubborn, sarcastic, aloof

• more mellowed out in comparison to her high school days, reiko is very carefree however when it comes to authority she's dismissive and cold

• to friends or just people she's comfortably okay with, she's chill and in some cases, protective.

• she takes her work seriously and oftentimes gets annoyed when someone distracts her (oftentimes it'll be anyone who has said authority over her)

• not that friendly/approachable but once you get past that, she's a friend for life !

• shows her affection by quality time and acts of service<3

OTHER

• carefree aunt that always says yes and sneaks u candies and toys vibes

• platinum blonde but sometimes shows up with black chalk in her hair either on the ends or in those iconic raccoon highlights ?? if thats what its called oof (hair is not her thing but she tries so let her do ur hair too ok)

• capricorn girlie

• hUGE night owl it's concerning

• facetimes her dad whenever she can

• epitome of chaotic neutral

i believe that's all i got for her rn but i'll definitely add to this when it comes to me so yea !!! pls do check out her plots page and love her down :') give this a lil likesie and i shall bother u :*

[star1117-archives]

𝐉 <𝟑 - 𝐋. 𝐉𝐍

↳ Pairing : Dom!Jeno x fem!reader

↳ Genre : Angst + Smut

↳ W.C : 3148

↳ Warnings : Alcohol misuse, Heartbreak, Unhealthy coping mechanisms, Drunk sex, Rebounds, Friends to ?, Couch sex, Groping, Unrequited (?) love, Insinuated wet dreams, Begging, Mentions of safewords, No prep, Insinuated squirting, Insinuated dumbification, Creampie, Slight dacryphilia, Aftercare, Naive!Jeno

↳ A/N : Under 16’s DNI !!

↳ Network : @cacaokpop-fics

© 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝟏𝟏𝟏𝟕-𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬. Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, repost or use my work in any way, shape or form.

It was that time again. 1am, alcohol was flowing into your body and tears were flowing out. You drunkenly revisited the secret photo album on your phone, hidden behind a cute kitten. Any unsuspecting friend that happened to look over your shoulder would think nothing of it, I mean who hasn’t had a comforting album or two sometimes?

But for you, this album caused more pain than comfort, yet you always found yourself going back to it. Back to him. You scrolled through each picture at a painfully slow pace, studying his features. That smile that brightened your day, the eyes that crinkled when he laughed, the nose he used to twitch as a party trick, the lips you spent hours on end worshipping with your own. He was your world, but he fucked some other bitch behind your back. Because he got bored.

Bored.

There’s no spark anymore Y/N. Our relationship.. it just… I feel bored, not in love like I’m supposed to be.

You must be a masochist or something, that phrase always repeating in your mind and stabbing you in the heart. Sighing, you took another swig of the bottle, surprised to find it empty. Had you really been drinking that much? Whatever, who cares. You’ll just die here, swimming in spiced rum and depression.

Your phone hummed to life with a message and it took almost all your energy to turn over and reach for it on the floor. When you had thrown it you don’t know, and you weren’t very bothered in finding out.

{💌} You have one new message from : J <3

Biting your lip, you unlocked your phone, tears falling harder when you saw his message.

{💌} J <3 : You okay? You left the club so quickly, everyone’s worried about you.

You debated lying to him, telling him you were sick, but you could never do that to him. Not when he’s always been there for you.

{💌} Y/N ᵀᴹ : I saw him Jeno, with the slut he was fucking

{💌} Y/N ᵀᴹ : He looked

{💌} Y/N ᵀᴹ : Happy

Jeno seemed to take a while to process your words, those three dots appearing and disappearing. You expected him to go in on you like your other friends have been recently, telling you to get a life and move on already. None of them understood the pain of being cheated on by someone you truly loved.

Just as you were about to break down, your phone dinged again, Jeno’s reply finally sent. All he’d sent however was a few short words.

{💌} J <3 : Let me in

Your eyebrows furrowed and you sat still on your bed for a second in shock, but then you heard a soft knock at your front door.

“Y/N? Can I come in?”

You went and answered the door, both surprised and not at the same time. His dorm was about five minutes from yours, so he must’ve ran over. His breathing was heavy and a slight sheen of sweat was visible on his forehead. He was still in his clothes from the club, fixing the sunglasses that obviously weren’t needed at this time of night.

“Jeno…?”

His large hand cupped your cheek with a comforting smile, nodding quietly as his thumb caressed you. He was here, here for you, here to help. He knew you needed him, and he’d come over. Another tear fell down as you slowly processed this, watching as Jeno became even more concerned, wiping your tear away as he cupped both your cheeks. The overbearing scent of rum burned his nostrils, and Jeno looked at you with pity.

“Fuck Y/N, how much did you drink?”

His words flew over your head however, you just wanted him to stop.

“Stop it.”

Jeno’s brow creased at this, confused by your words.

“What?”

You wrapped your arms around Jeno’s neck, not even noticing the way he looked at them with wide eyes.

“Dont look at me like that. If you feel bad, help me.”

Jeno stayed quiet for a second, trying to look for something in your eyes before finally replying.

“How?”

Moving closer, your lips were now inches from his as you whispered quietly.

“Help me forget.”

Before he could reply, you crashed your lips onto his, your movements sloppy as Jeno’s hands left your face. You could tell he was conflicted when he didn’t kiss back, but you kept kissing him when he didn’t stop you. You just needed to feel something, anything other than this.. weight crushing your heart. Eventually, the alcohol surging through his system got the better of Jeno and his hands fell to your hips, drawing you closer as he reciprocated the kiss.

Not wasting any time, you led Jeno to the sofa, pushing him onto it without breaking the kiss. Now you were on top of him, this kiss becoming messier as Jeno’s hands explored your body, groping anything he could. He groaned into your mouth when you squeezed his shoulders, and you swore it made you clench just from the sound. When your hands fell to his belt buckle however, Jeno pulled away with a sigh. You looked at him with confused eyes when he sat up a little.

“Jeno? What’s wrong?”

Jeno’s hands returned to your hips, his eyes holding all the emotion he refused to let out.

“You don’t want this Y/N, you’re just drunk.”

Tears stung the corners of your eyes at this, holding Jeno’s face as you spoke with desperation.

“It’s not that Jeno, I want this.”

Holding Jeno’s hand, you watched the way he stared at your fingers clasped together.

“You’re the only one I trust to help me forget him.”

Jeno squeezed your hand before kissing it, the last of his resolve faltering.

“I love you.”

Before you could reply, Jeno pressed a kiss to your lips.

“No pressure, I just thought you should know.”

Jeno pulled you down a little by the waist, arm now wrapped securely around you as he looked up at you hopefully.

“Even if nothing comes from it, can I still help you?”

You bit your lip before nodding, gasping when Jeno moved you back slightly so he could undo his belt.

“Don’t worry, by the time I’m done, all you’ll be able to think about is me and how good I make you feel.”

His words made your stomach twist in anticipation, a little ‘woah’ leaving you when Jeno flipped the both of you over. Now he was hovering on top of you, and his expression had started to become dark with lust. He made light work of your pajama pants, not bothering to take off your top as he shrugged his jeans down.

“I’ve dreamt of this moment for so long, even when you were with that bastard.”

Jeno chuckled when he saw the dark patch forming on your panties, pulling them to the side and staring at you with a shit-eating grin.

“By the looks of it, I’m not the only one, Hm?”

Not bothering to lie, you nodded shyly and looked away, cheeks burning with embarrassment. You didn’t stay like this for long however, Jeno’s hand quickly pulling you back to face him when his hand gripped your jaw.

“Eyes on me. Lemme show you how it feels to have a real man fuck you. Not that idiot you were with before.”

Gulping, you nodded as Jeno grasped the waistband of your underwear, pulling it down in one smooth motion. You suddenly felt very exposed, especially under his hungry stare. His eyes widened as he finally caught a glimpse of you, spreading your legs softly and smoothly.

“Fuck, I wanna savour this moment and completely break you at the same time.”

You felt yourself clench at such dirty words, straining a little against Jeno’s touch. He merely chuckled at this, easily overpowering you and pushing your legs open even wider.

“We’ll have to do this again pretty lady, I don’t think I can fit all my dreams in at once.”

Nodding once again, you had now taken an air of urgency. It felt unfair, you were so exposed yet Jeno was still tucked away in his boxers. Before he could ramble any longer, you gripped one of his hands in emergency.

“Please Jeno, stop wasting time. Please just- just-..”

You trailed off when Jeno squeezed your thighs, nodding with a chuckle, leaning down and pecking your lips before speaking softly onto them.

“Safeword?”

You looked into his eyes, marvelling at the way they shone for a second before smiling at him.

“Star, your eyes are really pretty.”

Jeno scoffed with a small smile, pushing a hair out of your eyes before nodding back at you.

“Right back at you.”

He then kissed your cheek with a softness that almost made your heart warm. Almost.

“You ready?”

As soon as you nodded in confirmation, Jeno’s boxers were down, and you couldn’t help but marvel at his size. Not record-breaking, but definitely better than your ex’s. When Jeno caught you staring, he smirked proudly before enrapturing your lips again. He seemed too excited to focus on doing one thing at a time, like a puppy with a bone for the first time. Even in your lustful, impatient state, you still found Jeno’s eagerness endearing. Your hand grasped his as he cupped your face, and he drew out your bottom lip before letting it go.

He hissed quietly as he grabbed his hardened member, aligning it with you and pushing in the tip slightly without warning. With little preparation, you winced at the feeling. Even in his drunken state, Jeno knew he’d have to wait, his heart pounding as he fully took in the view of you under him. Before he became even more lost in thought however, you nodded with a whimper while his hands fell to your hips.

“More. Please Jeno… please..”

Jeno let out a groan at your words, pushing himself in a little farther once again. Your head flew back into the armrest of the chair, tears stinging the corners of your eyes. A pitiful moan fell from your lips, and neither you nor Jeno could tell whether it was from pain or pleasure.

You took less time to recover than before, nodding up at Jeno once again as he stroked your hips, quietly watching you. His smile radiated warmth and safety when he nodded back at you. Finally pushing the last few inches in, both you and Jeno sighed in ecstasy at the feeling, your back involuntarily arching off the sofa, while Jeno grasped your hips tighter to anchor himself.

“You feel fucking amazing.”

Jeno’s head was thrown back as he hissed, resisting the urge to relentlessly snap his hips into yours. Meanwhile your mouth was open in a silent cry, your body shaking as you tried to relax yourself. After a while, Jeno felt your walls flutter around him, your eyes glossy when you finally looked at him again.

“Can I?”

Nodding, you gave Jeno a small smile before bracing yourself.

“Don’t hold back.”

Jeno smirked and licked his lips before experimentally thrusting once. A quiet moan fell from your lips at this, your teeth pulling your bottom lip between them as you rushed to quieten yourself. Sadly, this only resulted with Jeno pulling halfway out. When you looked up at him in confusion, Jeno ran his thumb along your lip, watching intently as you instantly let go of it with the prospect of having Jeno’s thumb instead.

“Don’t do that.”

His hand slowly trailed from your face to your jaw, his movements teasing. It then rested on the soft skin of your neck, the threat clear yet enticing as Jeno spoke with an edge to his tone.

“I wanna hear just how good I make you feel.”

Nodding, you let out a small sigh when Jeno’s hand felt to your hip again. He quickly took your breath away however when he fully pulled out and slammed back into you. Your brain was sent into overdrive, and your loud whines now filled the room as Jeno kept going.

You could hardly catch a breath, Jeno pulling your hips onto his cock with an almost primal need. He soon became enveloped in pleasure, deep moans sending sparks across your skin as he threw his head back. You would’ve marvelled at the view if you were lucid enough to look, instead merely screwing your eyes shut and mewling his name like a mantra.

“Shit baby.. you feel s-so fucking amazing.“

You gripped the armrest with a newfound urgency as Jeno somehow fastened his pace, his hips now colliding messily with yours while filthy squelches filled the room. A plethora of curses were flowing from his lips at this point, and just the sight of your fucked out face had him reeling. A feeling of accomplishment ran over him, pride swelling in his chest at the fact he could fuck you this good.

Your head was swimming, yet wether it was from pleasure or alcohol was beyond you. All you could think about was Jeno. Jeno’s voice, Jeno’s moans, Jeno’s dick. Fuck, it was filling you up so well right now, way better than anyone before, not just your piece of shit ex. His name rolled easily off your tongue like you’d been screaming it your whole life, like it was the only word you knew. You were completely lost in just the whole.. concept of him. Everything about him was just utterly perfect. It had you already on the edge despite barely starting anything.

“Fuck, Jeno I’m c-close-!” 

Your words were cut of by another moan when Jeno’s movements became impossibly faster, the male relishing in the fact that he had you falling apart in a matter of minutes.

“Shit baby, cum for me. Cum all over my dick.”

His hips were now violently snapping into you at this point, your throat turning dry from your continuous cries. The coil in your stomach was impossibly tight, and a fever surged over your body stronger than ever before. It was too good, he was too good, everything was just so fucking-

“Jeno!”

You came with a loud cry of his name, thighs shaking and tears falling from the intensity of your orgasm. Jeno kept up his ruthless pace despite your shaking thighs, your body so overstimulated that you sobbed underneath him. Hitching one of your legs over his shoulder, Jeno was desperate for release as you writhed at the feeling created by this new angle. You were a blubbering mess, desperately clutching anything, everything you could as Jeno’s thrusts became erratic and sloppy. You knew he was close, and you could tell you were too. Your words were more of a broken mess than a sentence, a jumbled thoughtless pile of words messily pieced together.

“Jeno! C-cum! Want it! Please! Your cum! Please!”

Jeno cursed loudly at this, his hips stuttering as he gave a few quick thrusts before pouring a load into you, sparking another orgasm on your side. Jeno slowed his thrusts before carefully pulling out of you, sheepishly looking up at you with a smile while you just trembled on the sofa. When you’d finally caught your breath, you sighed and looked at him with a small grin.

“…I gotta clean the sofa now, don’t i?”

He rubbed his neck before nodding and shakily standing up, pulling on his boxers with a teasing smile.

“Let’s just say.. you really shouldn’t sit up right now.”

Jeno motioned to between your legs with a chuckle, walking off to get a towel and leaving you alone on the sofa. When you looked between your legs and saw the white flowing from between them, your eyes bulged in surprise.

“How the fuck-”

Before you could finish your sentence,Jeno returned, and you gratefully took the towel he offered you. When you halfheartedly tried to sit up however, you felt a rush between your legs. You quickly fell back down, looking over at him while he just watched you struggle.

“A little help here?”

A little ‘ah’ left Jeno at this, the male nodding while a blush tinted his cheeks. Sitting down on the sofa, Jeno slowly moved towards you, suddenly acting as if he didn’t just dick you down ten minutes earlier. When the towel finally connected with your sensitive pussy, a little hiss left you. Jeno quickly retracted his arm, looking up at you in concern.

“Did I… hurt you?”

You rolled your eyes at the worry lacing his tone, chuckling at his naivety.

“Did you not just wreck my shit Jeno? I’m just a little sensitive, calm down.”

He gulped and nodded, slowly but surely cleaning you, still sending you worried glances each time you let out a pained whine or hiss. When he eventually finished, he quickly threw the towel into the washing machine before dressing you as carefully as he could. He picked you up like a figurine made of china, carrying you to your bedroom and carefully laying you on the bed. He then stood there for a second, shuffling from side to side like he was unsure of what would happen next.

“So I think it’s uh- time I.. go?”

Rolling your eyes, you pulled Jeno onto the bed, hugging to him while his heart pounded in his chest. When you laid your head on him and heard it, it made a warm feeling swell within you.

“Stay. You’re not a prostitute, Jeno. Plus, I need someone to keep me away from the rum.”

Jeno seemed appreciative of your blatant excuse, not wanting to address the elephant in the room either. Of course he didn’t wanna rush you, but this situation was definitely a peculiar one. He just couldn’t tell where your head was at right now.

“Thank you.” 

Your mumbled words made Jeno lift up, looking at you in confusion.

“Huh?”

“Thank you Jeno, for helping me forget.”

Jeno smiled brightly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as his ears burned red. He was completely and utterly in love with you, with such a passion that he’d never felt before. He just hoped he wouldn’t become a rebound, a way of helping you heal. But then again, if it made you happy, he’d do it a hundred, no a thousand times. He’d let you use him until you didn’t need him anymore, and that thought frightened him. He’d sacrifice the entirety of his heart to you, even if you didn’t want it.

But that was a problem for another day. Today, he’d relish in the feeling of your body clinging to his, your heart beating with his. For today, you would be his. Forever, he would be yours. So he hugs you closer while he still can, while you still seek solace in his embrace. He’d do everything in his power to win your heart, even if you’d already taken his.

“Even if it’s just for a minute, I’m glad I helped you forget.”

·˚ ◌༘₊· ͟͞꒰➳ NSFW Taglist !! ˊˎ-

@agustd-essert @hyuckilstan @a-soft-hornytiny @nyghtwolff-1117 @artemis-in-your-area @violetwinters @katelynnsqueendom @galaxybambam @yunhobabygurl @itbecina @anpanseok @yunhosprettyhand @mingitheii @vilavixg @the-answer-is-love-yrself @youre-a-wallflower-charlie @taehyunscaramelfrappe @imwhoever @mrcarrots @ateezbabysitters @whatudowhennooneseesyou @owjohny @meowmeowminnie @rialovesyunho @fantasy2wonderland @empiirxn @xuxibelle @dazzlingligth @greenymar @simeonswhore @xye-weirdo @jwnghyuns @yunhopowerpuffgirl @purplechannie @solihwng @eternalhongshine @m4rsluv @barbzberry @anowamij @burntliquorlungs

Apply for the taglists here -> ꕥ༉‧₊˚.