#but it was SO short compared to every other chapter so it felt odd

[4giorno]

AND ITS DONE 😭😭

[astr0disiac]

⚠️IMPORTANT UPDATE⚠️

People have told me that I don't owe anyone an explanation, but I hate going back on my word.

Hurricane Helene and Milton have displaced me and my family drastically. Thanks to some friends in high places, I have been able to find some stability again while our house is under construction. They know who they are, and I am forever grateful. And because of midterms being thrown off, I've had to throw myself into my studies while simultaneously getting my house in order. I had to pick up other jobs because my other one was completely closed after the storm due to renovations. So I do apologize for the wait, it wasn't supposed to be this long. I am safe, so there's that!

As a treat, I will be posting BLOOD ON THE TRACKS, starting October 26th-31st to celebrate the last few days of the spooky month. There are only 5 chapters, but the last one may be an authors note, or and extra day in case I fall behind again. They will be posted at 10PM EST.

In terms of MISTY, it will be put on hiatus as BLOOD ON THE TRACKS has become my priority. The good news is that I can use some of my experience with the storm to finish writing! The bad news is that I may not be able to MISTY before the new year. I really wanted to finalize it by it's one year anniversary, but that may not happen. There are only 3 chapters left, but I'm trying to tie up themes and loose ends so that the ending is cohesive and makes sense. I was going to post the next chapter last week, but I've been so unhappy with it, and felt it was way too short compared to other chapters. It wouldn't have been satisfying for either party, and I would rather take my time and produce something I'm proud of than rush to make readers happy. It will most likely be posted in November. That being said, TIANAMI TUESDAY'S will also be on hiatus while I play catch up. Hopefully everything will be back to normal by December, and the new Tianami story I'm working on will be posted in the new year *wink*. That is the plan, but life is unpredictable. I won't make any concrete promises, but know that I am doing my best to create content for yall.

Kinktober is obviously cancelled which works for me because I didn't really want to do it. Requests are open for any writing prompts to make up for it! If I do end up posting the few that I have, it will be on AO3 so that I can backdate it and make it look like I'm a consistent author. I may do another month challenge, because they truly are fun, but this month is a no. I do apologize for that! Maybe next year.

I'm so sorry for all these problems and apologies, and I will make it up to you all. I simply ask for a bit of understanding as I try and return to normalcy.

In the mean time, please enjoy this excerpt from BLOOD ON THE TRACKS.

Every time Tiana grew near, Nanami felt strange.

No, it wasn’t the presence of bashfulness usually found in juvenile couples, they had been married for five years now, and dated in high school. There was nothing to be shy about.

And no, it wasn’t an intense desire that lurked in more sentimental moods, not even with Tiana’s lingering finger tips ghosting over his warm body in the cool of the night.

That’s what made the feeling even stranger.

It was dark.

It was plain odd.

Nanami had a very keen sense of discernment when it came to the beings beyond; he had retired from a life of sorcery 3 years ago, but to Tiana he had simply retired early from a day job as a regular salaryman. He couldn’t divulge her into such dangers, being together was already a risk in itself. Not to mention, Tiana was very superstitious and had a certain level of discernment of her own. While she called them “loa”, Nanami knew them as cursed spirits. Some may call them demons, ghosts, phantoms, the paranormal; they were all very similar by how they interacted with the physical realm.

And that was usually by causing some sort of mischief and a sense of despair.

An influx of cursed spirits had begun to infiltrate their home, hiding in dark corners or shaded areas, skirting around the borders and slithering under their floorboards. It would wake Tiana up at night in a frenzy, and while the spiritual cleansing she did with her sage and incense helped, it didn’t permanently rid themselves of the problem. So Nanami, who didn’t even break his exorcism streak to help the daunted citizens on the streets of New Orleans, found himself back on the clock around the clock. When he decided to move here with Tiana, he knew he was bound to run into those fleshless beings, he just never expected them to run amuck in his own home.

Especially to this extent.

Thank you for your support! See you soon!

[the-trash-eating-llama]

I come to you wiþ anoðer chapter in my book!

(I'm still workshoping ideas for a title if you want a credit in ðe book.)

As for ðe format, from now on, any chapters I post will be separate posts (and labeled wiþ ðe tags) so if you want to find a specific chapter, you don't need to scroll for hours.

But enough preamble, on to ðe show!

Please enjoy chapter 8!

(~~~~~~~~~)

Magic, birds, time, and light. Those were common terms in every book Nemandi came across in the library. Some of the first books they read were history books for young birds, which was helpful for learning the general map of this section of the forest, not so helpful for easing their nerves. None of it felt real.

Of course it was real, they could smell it in the air, feel it in their lungs, and taste it on their breath. There was just a restless feeling deep within them, a sense that this was all a dream and they needed to wake up, but every other piece of them told them that there was no waking from this dream.

What ever dream this was, this place and how it made them feel, it was certainly more real than the stories they used to read with their sister, who would go on and on about glowing carvings on trees and birds that you could hear speak when the wind would slow-

Oh.

Their sister. Their mother. Their home. Their past. They had lost all of it, and everything but their bucket and clothes were gone with it.

The world had turned with the winds, and they had managed to come out the other side relatively together, only separated from their past. What had happened that night?

Flames, they remember that, a great purple evil licking at the walls of their old home, shattering the windows they inspected the world through and collapsing their chance of return along with the roof. Their old life felt like a distant memory, like they only started living when they woke up that night to two intruders, a world invading their own without ever being out of place.

“Now hold,” as their mother used to say, deep breath in, deep breath out.

“Before your emotions get a hold of you, ground yourself with your surroundings.” The first thing they could feel was their chair.

The chair was made of leather, with rabbit pelts making up the arms and back to give the upper torso a nice warm and fuzzy feel while also granting the seat a rugged texture. Next to the chair was a lovely wooden bedside table, complete with a lantern specifically made for reading in this corner. But what the chair possessed in comfort, the library matched in atmosphere.

The library was what Nemandi expected of a library, only much bigger. The floor looked barely used compared to the shelves themselves, which stretched from floor to ceiling and held books as well as perches & stands for the standard winged patron. Large holes were carved periodically in each shelf that allowed for ease of access when one had a very specific read in mind.

The atmosphere was captivating to say the least, but left Nemandi feeling quite reliant on Gripur for assistance to find books, as there were no ladders to speak of.

And the books, oh the books.

When Nemandi and Gripur first settled in, Gripur suggested they start with the basics, history. Stories of safe places just like Heim appeared frequently, but tended to disappear after a couple decades, which Nemandi found strange until they remembered that Heim was probably the first of it’s kind to utilize runes in such a way as to hide such large spaces in such tiny spaces.

The books never did mention what happened explicitly to the colonies, and Nemandi found that rather odd.

After reading two (and skimming a dozen), Nemandi came across mention of a temple, not far from where Heim was situated, and the temple was described to hold one singular temple keeper at a time.

This rang a bell.

And wiþ ðat, I end ðis chapter!

How exciting!

My apologies for ðe short lengþ, but I had to divide ðis chapter in half for formatting reasons.

On ðe bright side, ðe next chapter will be complete soon, as I suspect we may see some new faces as well as old.

As for my inspiration ðis chapter, I must give credit to @remindmetochangemyurl , @variaandroise , and @thewizardmus for giving me motivation, as well as @cursedbananabread , @godofautism , @faewyld , and @photogenic-strawberry for certain details ðat will come up later.

And of course, some love to @vaspider , @dectech , and @decoysender for helping me wiþ figuring out ðe þeme for ðis book!

But for now, I must go, and remember, rock and stone.

Yours until your sun explodes,

Llama

[toaster-hair]

"There's a Human In The Neighborhood!" (i apologize in advance) chapter 1

it isnt easy being a human in an all puppet town, especially when they’re all oh so curious about your anatomy!

warning: this fic is kind of gross. not nsfw but talks about bodily functions. some slight wally x reader but not really. reader is gender neutral but afab

i only wrote this bc i knew no one else would xP

(edit: this was originally posted on wattpad btw! i would post this on ao3 but uhh im like 3 years too young to have an account on that site)

If there was a word that could describe you the best, it was simple. You wanted to live in a simple neighborhood, date a simple person, and have a simple life. Which is why you were so willing to move when you saw an ad in the newspaper showing off a cute safe little neighborhood. You loved your parents but they were awful for your mental health, and after a small incident where you accidentally broke into someone’s house while drunk, you were desperate to leave. 

After many days of packing, and many days of promising your parents you would call them, you were revving up your car and driving to your new life. You brought one of your cats with you, your mom begging you as the poor kitty would be sooo sad without you. As you drove, you felt the food you ate that morning process in your stomach. You would have to check the bathroom out first things first. 

Once you arrived at the neighborhood you quickly found the new house you bought. It was pretty small, which made sense considering the price. The odd thing was how much it lacked color. Everything else in the neighborhood was bright and colorful, but yours was a pure white. You guessed you would have to paint it yourself. You hired some people help you carry stuff in, you would have a loonngg day unpacking everything. After everyone left, you quickly excused yourself to the bathroom. You didn’t get to see any pictures of the inside of the house, so you had to look around for the bathroom, and every other room. And then, you finally found it.

And there was no toilet.

It wasn’t that you mistook another room for the bathroom no, there was a small bathtub and a sink, but no toilet. 

Just then, you heard a knock at your door. You decided the anomaly could wait, maybe this was some weird town where everyone used a porta-potty. You quickly made your way to the front door, wondering who it could be. You hadn’t met anyone yet. As the door swung open, you were quite confused. You didn’t see anyone! Then, you heard a monotone voice. 

“I’m down here, silly.” you looked down and saw a very short, very odd looking stranger. He had yellow skin, no, is that skin? A perfect blue spiral pompadour, and no nose. He looked straight out of the muppets! “My, you’re an odd looking one. Tall, as well.” It was true, you were pretty tall compared to most, standing around 6’2. But how were you the odd looking one? “I’m Wally Darling, charmed I’m sure. What is your name, neighbor?” 

You tilted your head to the side and told him your name. Just as you were about to ask why you didn’t have a toilet, your sweet little kitty walked by and rubbed your leg. Wally went down and gave the cat many pets. “Say, Y/N. Would you like to have a walk around town?”

“Sure.” It was only a small walk, you were sure you could get back in time and figure out why there was a lack of toilet space. Wally showed you everything Home had to offer. Which wasn’t much, but that was fine for you. He showed you Howdy’s place and the post office, and even introduced you to your new neighbors! They were all very.. Lovely. But you could tell something was off. None of these guys were human, were they? But if they’re not human, then what were they? Then, you felt it drop to your bottom. Where the hell was the bathroom?! 

“This is Home, your other neighbor! I live in Home, Home is a very nice neighbor, aren’t you Home?” Wally asks the house. Home responded with a delighted creak.

“Wally, this is great and all, but I did have a question, well, a couple actually.” You said. Wally turned his head back to you, awaiting your questions he’d be oh so happy to answer. “Uhm, Wally, do you think you know why my house doesn’t have a toilet?” You asked. He kind of just. Stared at you. 

“What’s a toilet?” He asked. You were shocked.

“You know, the thing you poop in?” 

“Poop? Is that some human thing? You’re the first human neighbor we’ve ever had. Us puppets don’t know what “poop” is.” 

You were even more shocked. “What were your other questions?” He asked.

“Well, you kind of just answered them already.” You answered.

“Hey Y/N, seriously, what is poop?”

You groaned. You really didn’t want to explain what poop was to a grown man, no, grown puppet. “Well, when a person eats, anything that can’t be used as energy is converted into waste, and you have to poop it out. In the toilet.” you explained to him.

“Ohh, how do you poop it out?”

You explained to him how humans pooped. Even though he didn’t seem to know anything about human anatomy, he did at least know that what you were talking about grossed him out. “Ohh.. well, I’m not sure how to help you neighbor. No one here owns a toilet. Howdy might have some at his place, but it’s getting late. Do you want me to walk you to your house?”

You quietly agreed, but you didn’t really need to. Everything was pretty close together, with Wally’s house… erm.. Home being smack-dab in the center. 

For now, you decided to use a bucket. You’d be calling to have a proper toilet installed the next day. After that, you took a bath, made you and your cat some dinner, and called it a day. Unpacking could wait for tomorrow. You just hope the bucket wouldn’t stink up the place too bad. You would have to learn how to live in this weird puppet world.

[tinyinvadr]

Here we go, the final chapter of Psychoborrower (I actually finished a fic yay)! It’s kind of short, but just wrapping things up. I might do a few one shots about Flint’s first week at camp, and then next will be Rhombus of Ruin!

Psychoborrower

Epilogue

I was up early the next morning. Or, early compared to Sasha, at least. He was so tired, he didn’t even make it to bed. He just fell asleep right at his workbench. Though, that wasn’t too out of the ordinary for him. Sometimes I think he works too hard.

Raz showed up in the lab shortly after I woke up. He asked if I wanted to hang out around camp before he had to leave, so of course, I took him up on it. After all, there was a good chance I’d never see him or this place ever again.

After we left the lab, he took notice of my change in mood.

“So… have you decided what you’re gonna do?”

I sighed. “Yeah… Sasha said to think it over and weigh all my options, but I’m really not sure what other choice I have. I’m a monster if I don’t go home and tell them what happened, but�� I don’t…”

“You don’t wanna go back there.”

I nodded. It felt horrible and selfish to admit it, but my mind was completely at odds with itself. I didn’t want to hurt my family, but I also didn’t want to sacrifice my happiness and sense of self just to please them.

We both went quiet. Raz didn’t have any ideas, so we silently accepted that this was the way things had to be. I hated to bring his mood down, especially since he was looking forward to having one final fun day at camp without any evil plot to get in the way. And I wanted that, too, but it was hard to even think about having fun when I knew it would all be over in a matter of hours.

My train of thought was disrupted by a sudden blinding flash of light.

“Ugh, the faces you guys made look weird! This can’t go in my scrapbook!”

Lili snuck up on us with a Polaroid camera and took our picture. Why she was expecting it to look good when we were both clearly depressed and she caught us off guard with that flash, I have no idea.

Raz sighed. “We’re not really in the mood right now, Lili.”

“Aw, come on, please? Everyone’s gonna be in it, and you guys are basically the heroes of camp!”

She went on to explain how she always made a scrapbook for her dad every year, since he was the Grand Head of the Psychonauts and liked to keep up to date on the progress of the new generation of psychics.

Then, an idea hit me.

“Lili, this might be a lot to ask since you’re already making one, but could you help me make my own scrapbook to send home to my parents? Maybe if they see how happy I am here, they’ll understand why being psychic is so important to me.”

“Sure! I bet you can convince them if we get everyone at camp involved. We’re all rooting for you, Flint.”

Just as she said that, Bobby passed by behind her.

“I’m not!”

“Shut up, Bobby!” We both snapped.

So, the rest of the day was spent snapping pictures with everyone, and then cutting and pasting them together. Probably the only normal summer camp activity to ever occur at Whispering Rock, and arts and crafts wasn’t even on the schedule.

I was hesitant to interact with the other campers at first, but it was… nice. It finally felt like I was a regular kid for once. Of course, I was right about them having a lot of questions, but Raz and Lili were great about moving things along and keeping me from getting too overwhelmed by all the attention.

We were almost finished with the scrapbook when all of the campers were called to the reception area. Coach Oleander wanted to publicly apologize to everyone and thank Raz and I for setting him straight. I had confidence he could turn things around for himself. At the end of the day, he really wasn’t a bad person at heart.

He invited us to join him on the stage, and Ford took over from there.

“I would like to take a moment to recognize the accomplishments of two very promising students here. Against all odds, they were able to put aside their differences, face their fears, and use their powers for the greater good. Here at Whispering Rock, we teach our students to strengthen their minds. But the true marker of a Psychonaut in the making is strength of heart. You both have gone above and beyond these past few days, and it’s for that reason that I’d like to ask you something we don’t normally offer to campers…”

I held my breath. I knew what was coming, but I was still in disbelief. Then, any remaining doubts I had left disappeared when Ford held out two uniforms, one of which was perfectly scaled to fit me.

“Would you like to join the Psychonauts?”

Neither of us could contain our excitement. We were both practically jumping up and down, and it’s a miracle I didn’t end up falling off Raz’s shoulder. Everything I’d been working towards finally paid off, and it felt better than I ever could’ve imagined.

Not only was I finally being recognized as a true Psychonaut, but I felt like I finally found my place in the world. I had friends, a family, even, and they accepted every part of me. The borrower me, the psychic me, and just me in general. I had nothing left to hide, and that feeling is something I will never let myself forget.

“In that case, let’s all welcome the newest members of the Psychonauts, Razputin Aquato and Flint Loveseat!”

All of the campers clapped and cheered for us, but underneath it, I noticed Raz chuckle.

“Loveseat?”

“You’re one to talk, Aquato.”

Later that day, Lili finished up the scrapbook, and left me to look through it with Phoebe. Given the fact that I was born and raised in the walls of her house and I hitched a ride with her to camp, I figured it would make sense for her to bring the book home to my parents.

“Wow… so you’re saying we basically grew up together and I didn’t even know it? That makes you like my little brother!”

“Ah, big brother. I’m older.”

“Yeah, but you’re littler.”

“Fine, fine. Just… I don’t know how my parents are gonna react. When you’re showing them the scrapbook, make sure to keep calm, and take things at their pace, okay?”

“Of course, Flint. I really hope this works out.”

Suddenly, Sasha and Milla levitated over to us.

“Flint, darling, do you have a moment?”

I nodded, climbing onto Milla’s hand. Phoebe waved goodbye, taking the book and running off to the camp bus stop.

Sasha paused, taking a moment to gather his thoughts. I could tell this was serious.

“Grand Head Zanotto has been kidnapped. We’re leaving to locate and rescue him as soon as possible.”

“Oh no… Where do you think he is? Did you tell Lili yet? What should I do while you’re gone? What if-”

“We were going to ask you to come with us. You are a Psychonaut now, after all, and you and Razputin did just save all of our brains.”

“Of course, it’s perfectly alright if you need a break. We just wanted to offer.” Milla added.

This was it. My first official mission. Came up a lot sooner than I thought it would, but I wasn’t one to complain. It was a brand new day, and a brand new adventure was about to begin.

“Count me in!”

So, we met up with Raz and Lili to debrief them, and we all got into the jet to head off on our search for Truman Zanotto. Coach Oleander joined us, too, though Ford had to stay behind. His mobile psitanium supply wore off, causing his mind to revert to its shattered state.

Milla passed me over to Raz as she and Sasha took their seats at the front, and soon, we were ready for takeoff.

“See? I told ya we’d be Psychonauts together.”

I sighed. “You just love being right, don’t you?”

“C’mon, you’re glad I was right!”

If it were any other day, I’d fire a million snarky comments back at him. But not this time.

“Yeah… I really am.”

[newgenog]

REVENGE

Notes first: I've been working on this #Wildmoore #FanFic for a while, and decided to release it in time for #WildmooreWeek.

This fic is an AU based on the ABC tv series #Revenge. I felt like there were a lot of really cool parallels between the characters, and thought it would be fun to reimagine #Batwoman so that Ryan Wilder had a more deliberate pursuit for vengeance. If you're familiar with the show and the characters, you should be able to see who's who, but I'll try to spell out the matches in the end notes when I can (without creating too many spoilers). Finally, all I'm sharing for #wmw23 is chapter one, but I'm going to break it up and post it here over the 7 days (because it's pretty long). I'll pull everything together and post it on Ao3 on Day 7. I'll probably continue in this fashion for the length of the story, because it takes me a while to write the chapters, and I don't want to keep you all waiting too long. And, without further ado...

CHAPTER ONE - DECEPTION (Part One)

Summary: Robyn Wilde, formerly Ryan Wilder, makes connections and sets the stage for her revenge. Wildmoore Week Prompt: Nanny

MEMORIAL DAY: THE SOIREE, MONDAY, 5:00 P.M.

Ryan is standing on the Gotham City Yacht Club deck, looking through a pair of binoculars down at the yacht party where her mark is located. Every step she takes towards her destination will be made with intention. She needs to know who is already on the boat compared to who RSVP’d to attend, and those most likely to crash but who haven't arrived yet. She knows every face and background, and has a prepared conversation for anyone she might encounter. However, her plan is to only interact with specific people that will lead her to Kate Kane. 

It’s a rare, beautiful summer day, without even a breeze running from the water to Amusement Mile. While planning a yacht party in the typically gray city was always a risk, this time of year tended to behave favorably. So, the Kanes played the odds and continued with their annual Soiree. Everyone who was anyone, or wanted to be someone was in attendance. The party was invite-only, but guests were allowed to bring others, because more people meant more press. So, if you knew someone who knew someone, you could spend the afternoon indulging in top-of-the-line champaign and the highest quality Hors D'oeuvres that money could buy. 

The Kanes were well known, and admired by as many as they were judged by. They made regular contributions to charities, including the donations that came out of their summer Soiree - invited guests were expected to bid on various offerings from local businesses, or to make sizable grants to the foundations promoted during the event if they preferred that to what was being auctioned. This kept those who would loudly criticize them for their lavish, nanny and waitstaff-filled lives at bay, because the community had become dependent on contributions from the event over the years. Nonetheless, it was clearly all for show, because they never frequented those businesses, and had no relationships with the individuals who operated them. All of it was handled by the event planners to generate positive PR for social media and news outlets. 

Ryan’s pathway to infiltrating the Kanes begins with their playgirl daughter, Kate, who she’s spotted talking with her step sister Mary Hamilton and a woman she didn’t expect to see. A tall, modelesque Black woman in a wide brimmed hat and oversized sunglasses that make her look like she belongs with them even though her demeanor suggests she’s uncomfortable. Reading body language, and anticipating a person’s feelings and reactions is a critical skill that Ryan has honed. The long-legged woman in a tangerine blazer and short set, with caramel braids falling down her back isn’t sure she should be at this party. Ryan can’t really afford any detours from her plan, but she is confident that she can handle one small variable. She tucks the binoculars back into her duffle bag, and heads to the yacht club's locker room to store her gear and give herself one last look before she begins her journey towards revenge. 

~~~~~

5 DAYS EARLIER: THE LOFT, WEDNESDAY, 11:00 AM

Luke carries an extra large box through the brown door with glazed windows, into Ryan’s new penthouse loft. While it shouldn’t be new, because she almost lived here once before, that chance had been taken from her almost 13 years ago. At the time, this was a two bedroom apartment that she and her mom were moving into. It has since been renovated and opened up to become a one bedroom with a huge master closet and a relatively open floor plan, with the exception of a couple of glass walls separating the kitchen and living area.

Luke: “Aren’t you the one who’s been training to take down a linebacker for the better part of a decade? Why am I stuck with the big box?”

Ryan gently places her wooden box with the symbol for unconditional love etched into its lid and filled with everything her mom passed down to her before her life was brutally taken, onto the kitchen counter, while Luke all but drops the box onto the floor. 

Ryan: “Because we need to keep up appearances. And break it, you buy it.” 

Luke: “What’s even in it? Bricks?”

Ryan: “Equipment.” 

Luke: “That’s not mysterious…”

Ryan opens the smaller box and looks at the last picture she has with her mom, which will never get hung in this place. 

Ryan: “We’re home, Mama.” 

Luke comes up behind her and looks at the picture. 

Luke: “Probably weird to be back here…”

Ryan quickly places the picture back in the box, closes the lid, and slides it in the empty cupboard above the stove where a vent would typically be, but the built-in microwave serves that purpose now. She turns to face Luke, with a determined expression on her face.

Ryan: “No…She wanted this place for us. And not coming back would just be letting them keep what they tried to take from us. I’m going to get it all back for her.” 

Luke: “So, where do we start?”

Evan: “Knock knock?”

Ryan quickly shifts her expression into one with ease and lightness. 

Ryan: “Right here, right now…EVAN! You made it!” 

Evan: “Robyn! This place is incredible! Modern vintage? Your agent must be amazing to have found such a gem before it was even listed!”

Instead, Ryan had one of her contacts offer the prior renter a job out of the country that started in the same week that she was beginning her own new job. When the renter said they’d be breaking a lease and would need a sign-on bonus to cover the cost, their boss-to-be agreed to their counter offer, and also said they knew of someone who was moving to Gotham and urgently looking for an apartment. The switch was seamless. 

Ryan met Evan earlier that morning while getting an iced coffee with oat milk at their favorite Java spot, where they went every single morning at 7AM sharp. She’d ordered right before them, paying with cash, and leaving her change to pay for the coffee of the person behind her. Evan caught her at the napkin and sugar bar, sprinkling brown sugar on top of her drink, and came over to introduce themselves, having never seen her before after months of the same daily routine. 

Evan: “Evan Blake, they/them. Thanks for the coffee newbie.”  Ryan: “Robyn Wilde, she/her. You’re welcome, and it’s nice to meet you!”

Ryan, of course already knew who they were, and that they would be there, and how to make them fall in love with her so that they'd be instant best friends who absolutely had to hang out before the day was over. 

Ryan: “I think it was just meant to be.”

Evan: “Just like us, new bestie! And who’s this handsome gentleman with excellent taste in suits?”

Ryan: “You said your name was Larry?”

Luke rolled his eyes, and reached out his hand to shake Evan’s. 

Luke: “Luke. We just met downstairs.”

Ryan: “That’s right! Luke offered to help me carry this box upstairs when he saw me get it out of my trunk.”

Evan: “Honey, you know Robyn’s into the ladies, right? But I’m free tonight.” 

Luke: “Thank you, but she and I have the same taste, and I was just offering because the box looked big enough for her to fit inside of it.”

Ryan: “We’ve known each other for five minutes, and you’re already making short jokes?”

Evan: “I find a sense of humor very sexy.” 

Luke: “Robyn, Evan, it was nice to meet you, but I’ve got to get back to work.” 

Evan gets close to Ryan and speaks in a hushed tone.

Evan: “He’s working somewhere pretty fancy in that Armani suit.” 

Ryan: “It was nice to meet you, Luke. Thanks for the help! And, speaking of work, I appreciate you breaking from your bitchy boss to spend your lunch with me.”

Evan: “Please. It’s so intense over there right now, I’m glad for the break. I just told her I’d be checking in on some of the vendors for the event next week while I was here. So she’s not expecting me back for a while, anyway.” 

Ryan: “What’s the event again? And you said they were the Cranes?” 

Evan: “The Kanes. Girl, you’re going to need to get better at names if you’re going to be spending time with the wasps in this part of Gotham. Anyway, it’s their annual, Memorial Day Soiree. The event that kicks off all of the good deed events for the summer.” 

The Kanes are at the top of the one percenters in Gotham, with Jacob Kane being the founder of The Crows, which was initially private security for the rich and famous, but expanded beyond its scope of governance because the GCPD wasn’t keeping the local riff-raff far enough away from its clients. To add to their wealth and comforts, Jacob had married Catherine Hamilton, CEO of Hamilton Dynamics, the leading defense company that backed The Crows when it came to fruition. An arm of the company was working to make strides in how technology was leveraged for healthcare. Their designs were so advanced and required such high-quality materials that only those with the greatest access and means had ever benefited from their creations. And, because what wealthy family doesn't also own more property than they can live in, if for nothing else besides for tax write-offs, they'd also bought and managed apartments and condos under the brand Kane Properties, though that had dwindled down to this last building, which Ryan was now residing in.

Ryan still can't believe that this building, that used to be in one of the most overlooked areas of Gotham, where cops might not even come in time to save you if you needed them at the wrong time of day or you weren’t the right person making the call, had been gentrified to the point that she was neighbors with people who drive Jaguars as their commuter cars. When the Kanes realized that the area was turning and that they couldn't ignore this building anymore, they decided to flip it.

Ryan: “Good deed events?” 

Evan: “Yes! The rich love to make a big show of giving their money away to us little folks as an excuse to throw fancy events while the sun’s out. They started them back up when both of their twins came home, to cover up the misdeeds of the bad twin and show off the glory of the good twin. And their youngest, who’s really the best of them and is on her way to being an MD, is almost of no concern to them, which is a huge miss since her social media following is at least a quarter of the attendees with big pockets.” 

Ryan: “There’s a good twin and a bad twin? Why does this sound like a Lindsay Lohen movie?” 

Evan: “More like the Olsens. There’s a Mary, a Kate, AND a Beth!” 

Ryan: “You’re kidding!! Too bad there’s no Ashley. What’s their mom’s name?”

Evan: “I am not! Except, the twins are Kate and Beth. And Catherine Hamilton is actually Mary’s mom. Their father, Jacob Kane, married her just a short year after their mom’s car was driven off of the road by a big, yellow school bus, and over a bridge with them inside of it. Kate was able to grab her sister and swim to safety, but Beth always wished Kate had saved their mother instead.” 

Ryan: “Well, you’re certainly well informed.” 

Evan: “Oh yeah, we go way back! Kate and I were really close in high school. She’s always been unapologetically out, and she was the only person I could talk to when I figured out being referred to as him all of the time felt like being called out of my name. She was my prom date! And Mary has been fighting for attention by being a perfect angel forever, and all it does is make them ignore her more, but she’s absolutely lovely. Beth is evil incarnate.” 

Ryan: “But you work for their mom? Planning these events?” 

Evan: “Among other things. I’m a scholarship kid who went to school with all of them, so I have to actually work my way up to CEO, no offense.” 

Ryan: “None taken.” 

Evan: “I’ve got goals, honey! I’m an entrepreneur. They’ll all see how fabulous I make the Kanes look, and be begging me to do the same for them in no time. Then I’ll hire a team, and I can be the queen of my own ship!” 

Ryan: “So, what’s going to make you look your best at this event?”

Evan: “Besides my Dior, making them have such a fantastic time, and feel so competitive from the richness they’re surrounded by that they want to spend all of their money to remind everyone they have it. It costs a grand to even walk through the door, but I need them to drop at least ten of those, or I’m going to have to spend my summer chasing them down and convincing them to give back to the community that they don’t actually give two shits about.” 

Ryan: “Hey, you know at least one person who does actually care, and that you wouldn’t have to chase down.” 

Evan: “Seriously? You would come? It would make it soooo much more fun for me if you were there!”

Ryan: “Of course I’d come. I’ve gotta start putting faces to all of these names at some point, anyway.” 

And just like that, Ryan’s plan was in motion. 

~~~~~

13 YEARS AGO: THE LOFT

Ryan: “Mama, why don’t we have the same last name?”  Cora Lewis had just finished signing the leasing agreement and collecting the keys for their new apartment that sat above the restaurant she had recently opened. She had been working for the Kane family as their personal chef, and had managed the catering for their frequent, large events until she’d saved enough money to open her own restaurant. She’d named it Big Bellies, because she wanted everyone who walked in to walk out feeling stuffed. Cora had spent so many years taking care of The Kanes, that when she’d informed them she was interested in opening her restaurant in the building, they suggested she and her daughter move into the apartment that sat above it, and they even discounted her lease for both properties to help her get a head start (and as an early Christmas gift). It was the perfect way for her and Ryan to start this next chapter of their lives.  Ryan had clearly been chewing on a question as they’d begun their climb up the stairway. Cora: “I’ve actually been waiting to see if you’d ever ask about it. Honestly, I didn’t want to take the choice from you. Your birth mother named you Ryan Wilder, and that’s a connection you still have to her. You and I have been able to make lots of other connections in these 14 years.” Ryan: “I guess that makes sense. It is nice to know I keep some part of her with me. But, do you ever feel bad that we don’t have the same name?” Cora: “Not at all. I met your mother, and while she couldn’t keep you, she did love you very much. I’m glad she was able to name you, and I think she chose a name that fits you well. But you know if you ever want to change your name, I think Lewis would fit you well too, in any way you might want to incorporate it.”  Ryan grinned, and Cora could tell that she was going to sit with that idea for a bit before coming to a conclusion. Ryan: “I figured out that I want a yellow comforter for my bed.”  Cora: “That sounds about right.”  Ryan: “Are you trying to say I’m predictable?” Cora: “Do you think I’ve suddenly forgotten my daughter’s favorite color? And I’ll bet you’d like a plaid pattern, too.” Ryan: “Okay, okay. You’ve made your point.” When they arrived in front of their new brown door with glazed windows, Cora slid the key into the lock, turned the knob, and quickly swung the door open, enthusiastically greeting their new apartment. And then all hell broke loose! Because The Kanes owned the building, one of their twin daughters, Beth Kane and her friends (who went by the Wonderland Gang and nicknamed Beth Alice because of her access to hallucinogenic drugs such as snakebite) would party in the vacant apartment. The unit was in a lower income area, and their parents’ friends wouldn’t be aware of their comings and goings. The teenagers (panicked and under the influence) overreacted to Cora and Ryan’s seemingly abrupt entrance into the apartment, and several of them attacked the two ladies. Ryan’s instincts kicked in, and she tried to fight the teenager’s back, to protect her mama. Completely unexpectedly, one of the teenagers pulled a revolver on Ryan.  Ryan: “Come on. You’re not really going to use that thing!”  The kid cocked the gun as a final warning, and Cora jumped in between them, unable to risk her daughter’s life. Startled, the kid pulled the trigger, and Cora was shot in close range. The property manager was still downstairs packing up his things. He called the police when he heard the gunshot. Beth watched the confrontation between her friends and the new tenants go down from a corner of the room. When Cora’s body hit the floor, and Ryan dropped to her knees screaming, Beth yelled for her friends to run. Everyone who followed her orders escaped. When the police arrived, they tried to pull Ryan away from her mother and she lost it, flailing frantically and demanding that they let her go. She and a couple of the more intoxicated children who did not leave with the rest of their friends were apprehended. 

~~~~~

To be continued...

End Notes:

I hope you gathered that Ryan is Robyn, and only Luke knows that's her real name. ;)

If you're curious about who's who (or just want confirmation because you think you've figured it out), you'll have to wait until Day 7 for any specific matching.

All #Batwoman things I do now are also in the name of #SaveBatwoman. Go follow all the social handles and support the cause, please.

*NEW NOTE* I'm trying to make sure I can spread this out over 7 days, so I moved the last section that was previously in part one to part two, in case you're re-reading and confused.

[the-one-where-casey-watches-tv]

Stranger Things episode 4.09 "Chapter Nine: The Piggyback"

I’ve loved Stranger Things from day one. I think the pilot is one for the books and each passing season has managed to enrich the world and its visual effects while still bringing it all together in a delightfully satisfying finale. I’ve always thought this series was very sure of its footing and felt the story has been chugging decisively along down its painstakingly premeditated path. I compare it a lot to Harry Potter because both stories stand out to me as very classic, down to earth explorations of the Hero’s Journey and prime examples of how and why story structure is so important.

            After finishing the endeavor that was season four, I don’t feel like the show is any less “good”- I watched the whole thing and was never bored (even this two plus hour finale; I’ll get into this season’s formatting in a second). I think the Duffer Brothers are prime storytellers who know exactly what they’re doing and how to keep your interest, so when I finally let out a breath after finishing the episode that took up literally my entire night, I didn’t feel disappointed by the quality; I felt betrayed by what they did with my rapt attention. “Chapter Nine” was effective for me in that I believe that I felt everything I was intended to feel- I just didn’t like those intentions.

This is the first season that broke up the group without quite managing to pull them back together at the last minute in that ultra-satisfying and cohesive payoff of previous years. The story lacked the punchy, decisive confidence it’s always had, and it showed. And I’ll say it. I don’t want to watch a two-and-a-half-hour episode of TV. I rarely even want to watch a two-and-a-half-hour movie. I love the creativity and flexibility that TV has come to have as a medium, but the odd release of season four of Stranger Things did nothing but hamper my viewing experience. I couldn’t wait to dive into the season as soon as it came out, so I quickly finished episodes 1-7 before the strangely staggered release of the final two episodes, which dropped a month after the initial debut. One month is a weird amount of time. Mid-season finales are still a regular occurrence with network shows as they break for a couple months, often overlapping with the holidays, to put the rest of the season together. Such breaks are rarer with streaming, but Netflix has seemed to be into the concept lately, dropping other seasons in two parts as well. All the same, just one month is an unusually short period of time that seemed to serve no purpose other than to garner intrigue and suspense. Promotions were all over Netflix’s social media, billboards went up, and an itch remained unscratched in my brain as I couldn’t yet check this season off my list and mentally move onto other things.

            The whole viewing experience just felt deliberately taxing- to be made to wait, just to then be made to set aside an entire night to watch the final episode that could have easily been broken up into two or even three- something that would have also added some balance to the “Volume 1” and “Volume 2” approach. But honestly, I can only complain so much about all of that because ultimately, I was a full participant in this whole experience. I followed the directions, eagerly watching every hour-plus episode in record time, waiting patiently for the finale, and then making a night out of it, just like I was supposed to. And at no point did I want to turn it off.

            So let’s talk about what happened. I love a Stranger Things finale. A clear plan laid out by a ton of kids with a lot of moving parts and very clear, very high stakes. Every season finale feels like watching the Duffer Brothers drop the last piece into the most complex puzzle I’ve ever seen- and then dump 500 more pieces onto the table and reveal that we’re not done yet. So I had a lot of trust going into this episode. I’ve been watching Mike, Will, Jonathan, and even Eleven do a whole lotta nothing this season, but I dismissed everyone who wanted to tell me as much. It was all about to come to fruition; everything would make sense and it would all be for a reason. But it wasn’t.

            I think Max is what kicked the Stranger Things train off its track. Or rather, what flipped the switch sending it in a new direction, one that I would be happy to follow, but that the show seemed to resist. To use my Harry Potter comparison, Max’s character is like if Cedric Diggory didn’t die and instead went on to become more interesting, useful, and endearing than Harry ever was. How fun, right? But then imagine that happened, our hearts and attention were successfully shifted somewhere else, yet the story continued to treat him as that same tragic auxiliary character that only exists in relation to Harry.

            Leading up to “Chapter Nine”, this season felt like the end of the Mike and Eleven show and the embracing of a true ensemble, and I loved that. Mike did, and I don’t feel like this is an exaggeration, nothing. If he just wasn’t in this season at all, the final outcome wouldn’t change. And I didn’t have a problem with that! He’s cute and goofy and fun to be around, and he and El’s relationship problems were the lighter B or dare I say C story to Max and Lucas’ loaded, important, and well-rounded journeys. And that said, El was still a centerpiece in other ways. I love the story of One, I didn’t need to see Brenner again, but I was happy to explore her past and have that aha moment of what really connects her to the Upside Down. Eleven needed her face-off moment with Vecna, but if the lead-in to this battle (and “Running Up That Hill” being the anthem of the season) proved anything, it’s that Max is an equal to El, in both significance and strength, and we’ve spent too much time with her now to be satisfied with her suffering being nothing but an emotional catalyst for Eleven.

            Even at a glance, this final showdown puts Max and Lucas front and center. They are the ones physically present, with a job that doesn’t involve being a diversion or killing extraneous bats or being states or continents away. The two of them alone are the ones facing the real test with the truly dangerous job of confronting Vecna, Max in her mind’s eye and Lucas protecting her in the flesh. Eleven has a grand plan to piggyback off of Max, but no one suiting up and diving into the Upside Down knows about that. They’re ready to do this on their own, and we see all the risks, fears, and bravery involved in that. While we have that knowledge of what’s going on elsewhere, I was never fully interested in seeing those extraneous moving parts come together. I don’t want Eleven to save them. I want this plan to work. The one with the people and stories that I’ve been made to feel invested in throughout this season.

            But I understand that the plan was never going to work. This was the penultimate battle, the one that we lose. The gate had to be opened and we’re supposed to feel loss and sadness at that. This is “The Half Blood Prince”- but Max is no Dumbledore. A casualty was inevitable, but the way it came about wasn’t. My trust in the Duffer Brothers and in this story persists; I believe that season five will shed new light on these things and maybe my feelings will change, but each season is also a story in itself, and the message we’re sitting with now as we wait for the final season isn’t one that I respect or feel good about.

            Leading up to this episode, Max’s journey was a moving story about processing grief and carrying on in the world after experiencing loss. It was the perfect blend of a generalized, relatable thematic idea applied to a specific, well-drawn character in a way that is both powerful and moves the plot forward. Eleven has the history with Vecna that she’s off unpacking, but this has become personal for Max too. Vecna, as is his M.O., has forced Max over and over again to confront her emotions regarding Billy’s death, the complex combination of guilt and grief that I can only imagine comes from losing a presence like that. And every time, Max comes out stronger. She becomes a bigger challenge to Vecna every time he tries and fails to break her, each instance actually cementing her will to live. It was a beautiful and powerful personification of grief, depression, that voice in your head that wants the worst for you, and the idea that it’s possible to fight it all. I feel a huge urge to hug and apologize to everyone I know who related to Max and had to watch what happened to her next.

            Of course Vecna caught onto their plan, to Max using herself as bait. That had to happen, right? What seems like a genuine plot hole to me though is the fact that Vecna, with his pension for finding those emotions that people want to hide, didn’t see through Max the second he looked inside. He didn’t see that firm resolve? The now-solidified desire to be alive?

To pretend for a second that I’m qualified to write Stranger Things, I’ll tell you what I think should’ve happened. When Vecna takes the bait and finds Max and Lucas, Max herself would give the whole plan away with just her strong sense of self. She’s too strong for Vecna and he wouldn’t want to admit that, but the stakes are high for him right now too. He needs one more body to open the gate, a bunch of kids are closing in on his body on the other side, and he’s all the way over here with the first girl he might not be able to break. Lucas is the only other one here, and he’s got plenty of complex emotions of his own to process.

            Lucas has been bullied for being black since the pilot, and I had a lot of respect for this season not toning itself down at all in a lot of ways, racism included. Watching Erica be chased down in the dark by a white boy three times her size was hard to watch; watching Lucas have a gun pointed at him by the deranged captain of the basketball team was hard to watch. But some important things are hard to watch. None of it felt inappropriate or out of place until the episode ended and there didn’t seem to be any kind of takeaway from it. Hawkins became a character itself this season, and it turned out to be an underdeveloped one. The town never learned the truth, never had to see themselves or anyone else in a new light, nor was bigotry a direct cause for anything that happened. My issue wasn’t that it was hard to watch, it was that it was just hard to watch. It was gratuitous pain and heartbreak for nothing but the sadness value of it. The world already does that to us all enough.

            So while Vecna is rooting around in Max’s head, finding himself to be no match for her, Lucas sees what’s happening to Erica outside. He has to contend with the fact that these were the people he wanted to be friends with so badly, that these are the people he chose over his real friends who are ready time and again to do the right thing. So Vecna switches gears. Lucas’ heart is heavy and he hasn’t been on the same self-fortifying quest that has prepared Max to face this very moment. Vecna possesses Lucas instead, and Kate Bush doesn’t work for him. In walks the basketball captain who learns the truth too late.

            Maybe Eleven is able to do a kind of double piggyback and go from Max to Lucas- I would at least feel like she accomplished something if she was able to pull that off. But honestly, I don’t really feel the need to get into the logistics of her agonizingly slow stroll through Max’s head. If there’s anything we’ve learned from Max, it’s that self-sufficiency and processing your past for yourself is possible. Max and Lucas planning their date is heartbreakingly precious because neither need the other. They’re arguably the two most independent and capable characters in the whole show. Max is comforted by Lucas’ company, but she would have been capable of all the same things without it. For Eleven to not be able to do anything until she hears Mike say he loves her is frankly insulting to everything Max has just been through. So however Eleven would find her way into battle with Vecna in Lucas’ mind instead of Max’s in this scenario doesn’t really matter to me. She’s not gonna do anything in there anyway. We lose Lucas and the gate opens.

            This would obviously all still be very sad. It had to be sad. But it would be sad with thought-provoking thematic takeaways. It would be about the direct consequences of realizing prejudice too late, about grappling with survivor’s guilt, self-sufficiency, and the idea that doing everything right isn’t always enough to save the world (or even just the people you love ((but does that make it any less right?)). When the credits rolled on this episode, I was uncharacteristically silent. It was a downer of a season finale and it had made my mood heavy, but I had nothing to say about it. I let the event of the Volume 2 release consume my night and have my full attention, and it truly just left me up past my bedtime, drained and in a funk. I felt manhandled into feeling sad at what was clearly the writer’s hand, not the story’s. Vecna breaking Max wasn’t that last puzzle piece dropped perfectly into place; it was mashed in there where it didn’t fit, and her subsequent coma isn’t those 500 new pieces I can’t believe I didn’t realize we still needed (I’m over the “are they really dead?” game this show keeps playing). When I step back and look at this puzzle, I don’t see the illuminating, cohesive image that past finales have gifted me. It feels like I did all that work just to step back and look at the final product and see something that was upsetting to put together but doesn’t mean anything.            

All that and I haven’t even touched on poor Eddie, gay Will, or anything at all that went on in Russia. Guess that’s what happens when one episode of TV is one of the longest things I’ve ever watched in my life.

I'll be back next week with another show, in the meantime drop me any thoughts or requests and head over to my blog for more :) https://clduby.wixsite.com/casey-watches-tv

[pwpspiderguy]

Chapter 1: Origins

My name is Peter W Parker. I was bitten by a radioactive spider, and for the past 6 months I've been the one and only spiderman. You know the rest but just in case i'll give you a recap. Got into a big fight with my parents. Went into a rebelious phase. Lost my mom. Met my new best friend. Maybe that was too short of an explination, should i start from the beginning? Okay but im just letting you know its not a pretty story.

It all started when my parents decided to move to new york. They thought i would become a star, and yeah sure it sounds cool but i missed my friends back in oklahoma. "don't mope, Penny" my mother says as i stare out the window of the moving car on the freeway "don't tell me what to do" i snap back. I hear her speaking but i put on my headphones to tune it out. I'm lucky im in the back seat or else she probably would have ripped them off my head like i lion scratching something with its big claws. My mom says they're just doing whats best for me but in reality they just want to be the parents of a famous actor. I haven't told them but i actually wanna be a musician, well not a musician just someone with a guitar. I also want to change my name so my parents have nothing to do with me.

As trees pass by it slowly melts into forms of condos so i know we're close to the new place. The condos look small, which is nowhere near comparable to the house back in Ardmore. For some odd reason that house's rent yearly was cheaper than monthly pay here. Why did we move here again? Oh right, so i can become a broadway star. If you couldn't tell that was sarcasm, hey i should be a comedian, I can see the headlines now. 'New comedian and musician makes horrible joke about homophobic parents' yeah sounds about right.

"Penny, come here and help your father with the boxes" Says the witch who likes to call herself mother. "no" i respond "i wasn't asking" i let out a irritated groan before bringing a box or two of mine up to my room. Why can't that witch carry in boxes herself? She looks like one too with the white strands in her hair and her huge nose, thank god i got my dad's genes. He's pretty ugly too but i'd pick small lips over hocus pocus any day. When i got to my room on the third floor it had a slanted ceiling to match the roof. On the taller side there was a window leading to the outside with nothing underneath. Good to know that if there was every a fire i'd be burnt toast or a flat pancake, I feel really safe right now. Or hungry.

Looks like aunt May already set my room up with the moving guys before we got here. My bed was in the corner right beside my night stand with the bottom of my bed towards my window. Then my dark blue and black desk beside my window also. On the the shorter side of my room had my White childhood 2x3 bookshelf with white sticker residue on the side from old stickers i put on there as a kid then previously ripped off before we moved. I opened a box and began putting old toys and books on my bookshelf when i found a pair of scissors. I had the best plan ever, I was a genius, or at least that's how i felt at the time.

I make my way to the bathroom and looked in the mirror as i began cutting my long curly brown hair as it fell in the sink. i stare at my dead hair in the bowl infront of me before i began to freak out. I didn't know what to do but for some reason i thought it was a good idea to keep going. i finish cutting my hair to see a big poof around my head. I was crying but at the same time laughing, maybe i was laughing at how stupid i looked and crying knowing i'd get my ass beat. "ow" I whisper as i slap my left arm to see a spider. i shout and flail my arm around and when the spider fell i couldn't find it. "is everything okay in there?" i hear a shout from the other side of the door that sounded like my father "im fine" i shout back. i put a baindaid on my arm before i wet my hair putting product in my hair.

I pull my hoodie over my head and quickly making it the my room succesfully withot being noticed. i look in my tall mirror beside my shelf to look at myself. i pull my hood down and smile as i feel my brown wet hair. I hear the door creak open and i look to see my mom "mom!" i shout as i put my hoodie back on "Penny your hair!" "yeah well maybe you should knock next time" i turn my back to her "why do you always do this? its like you want to make me look like a bad mother!" she shouts "nobody said that" i say biting my lip to prevent the tears from coming out of my eyes "Penny, look at me" I wipe my eyes as i turn around and she gets closer to place a hand on my cheek. I reject her hand gently pushing her arm to the side. "i know you're just doing what you think is best but this is just a phase. i mean what would people think about me if they saw you like this?" she says calmly like she caught me smoking and drinking in the same night.

I wipe my eyes again before grabbing my grey satchel "maybe people wouldn't think youre a bad mother if you where actually a good one" i say as i walk past her. i leave through the front door and into the pouring rain. I started walking even though i didn't have a place to go. Who does she think she is? She acts like she's so perfect but she can't even get my name right. she's the one going through a phase, not right in the head. She's wrong about me. It's Peter, not Penny. Why can't she understand that.

I hear a shout behind me to see my father rushing out of the house but before i could say anything i felt weak and i fell to the floor. The last thing i saw was my father rushing to me before i woke up in my bed the next morning in my bed. I rub my eyes and get up to see myself in the mirror. as i get further in my room i bump my head on the ceiling "what the?" i whisper before looking at my mirror. have my pants shrunk? no because im still wearing the same ones from yesterday. I scratch my head before heading to the bathroom to go shower. i step inside the shower and it felt nice at first. it felt nice till i couldnt let go of my shampoo bottle. i wave my hand around in a panic and pull to off using all my strength but in that moment my hand springs back and i punch myself in the face.

I finish my shower and get my clothes on. i look in the mirror to see a red mark on the side of my eye. i sigh and get my shoes on before leaving the house without telling anyone making my way to a conveniance store that i didn't know the name of. a bought an off brande sprite for the low price of 4 american dollars. i love new york. "heres your change ma'am. have a nice day" the clerk says. i was gonna correct him but i didn't feel the need to talk to a stranger any longer "you too" i spit up before walking out. I walked onto the side walk when i see a car headed my way swerving in the road. I jump up and do a backflip landing on my legs while panting heavily. I look down at my legs and body when a cop comes over to ask if im okay. I nod in shock before he moved onto the crashed car beside me.

I shook it off as a one time thing before i quickly walk away drinking my soda. I sit on the sidewalk near an alleyway when i felt someone push me telling me to get a job. my bottle fell out of my hand when i panic not wanting my expensive ass off brand sprite to go to waste. Suddenly a web shoots from my wrist grabbing onto my bottle and shoots back to my hand. I look around too see if anyone saw what i did but nobody batted and eye. I look down at my hand and remove the web from the bottle with struggle of course. Did the universe curse me with sticky bottles today?

I get home putting my bag down before going on my computer. I quickly search up "Spider bite side effects". I searched and searched trying to find something, anything, that would explain my problem. after a few minutes of searching, and taking notes to maybe understand clearly, i noticed my keys stopped working and stuck to my fingers. I desperately try to tear them off when i hear my mom come into my room. I quickly hide my hands in my pockets and look at her nervously "what" i bite "you could be a bit kinder considering i was going to apolagize but never mind" she says closing the door "how the hell was i supposed to know?" I say under my breath. i get up and lay my head on my pillow.

Like clockwork just as i lay down i hear shouting outside, so i open my window and see three guys harrasing another poor guy. "hey can you guys keep it down? not all of us are having a good day!" i shout "hey shut it woman!" the first guy says. i get upset, woman? I wasn't even mad he misgendered me, i just wanted to know who the hell he was talking to. I crawled out the window and stuck to the walls as i crawled down. what am i doing? how am i doing this? i get on the floor finally "hey its almost dinner time you should be home already" "stay out of this" one guy says. I soon find myself with a gun pointed towards me which obviously left me terrified.

I don't even know how i did it but after a bit of struggle all three men where on the floor. I look down at my hands and look at the boy infront of me. He just smiles "thank you" "yeah whatever" i leave him there and use the backdoor to get inside of my house. I quickly go up to my room think about what i can do with this strength. On my computer was an ad for wresting 'beat him in 3 minutes and get 3000 dollars' hell yeah. I find myself signing myself up before i even thought of a costume, how could i not? I kick my swirly chair to my bed and get my sketch book from under my bed. I'm not the best artist but i would gladly sketch out a costume. Should i add a cape? nah, knowing me id step on it and rip it.

After much brainstorming I finally thought of a black and blue costume with a web design and a hoodie with a jacket. This is going to look sick. After leaving again and coming back with tons of fabric I started making my costume with my old sewing kit in a box I found. As soon as it was finished, I tried it on and it looked even better than I imagined. My name if Peter Wendell Parker, and I am Spiderman.

[sweetbillwriting]

The Stranger I Love

Part 6 - The misfit (Theo's perspective)

Characters: AU Axel Cluney (Zeitgeist) from Deadpool 2 played by Bill Skarsgård. The rest is my own original characters.

Warnings: 18+,cheating, mentions of weight and body image, mentions of death, violence, murder, toxic relationships, child abuse, neglect from society authorities, mental health problems.

Notes: Warning to sensitive readers! This chapter will contain heavy subjects. Now we also have a new perspective, Theo’s and the rest of the story will be from her perspective.

I had always liked the library. All the shelfs with so many books, so much knowledge. The small rooms in the space the shelfs created. The high roof that created some sort of feeling of freedom. It was my safe place. I could really be myself there. Maybe it said something about my personality or just that I had much to study. When you studied medicine you had that. I liked to use that as an excuse to why my life was boring, that I didn't have time with so much else. In reality I had just got stuck, stuck in my typical routine and felt anxious every time I would do something new. But it started to become really stale. That was when Axel showed up in my life. He was, for a long time a stranger, a stranger I watched. A stranger I started to love more or less. It sounds creepy but if it's mutual it becomes a totally other thing.

I saw Axel at the library for the first time in the beginning of September. You couldn't really miss him and he made everyone take another look at him. He was dressed in short black denim shorts with working boots and a black tank top with a rip on the chest. With his boots he wore high baseball socks with yellow stripes. As I said, everyone looked at him. I was used to people thinking I stood out at the university but it wasn't anything compared to him, with all the ink doodled all over his body. On top of that his face stood out just as much. When I looked at all of him he looked like a mix between a young Tommy Lee and the doll from The Boy. Not the man behind the doll but rather Axel looked like the doll. I think he scared some of the younger students with his look.

He started to come into the library every day and every time I took a fascinated look at him. He would unintentionally put on some sort of grungy punk fashion show everyday. One day he had an Adidas t-shirt with big bleach stains with cargo shorts, the next day he had a black net tank with tight ripped black jeans. Everyone looked at him. That tall tattooed doll. He didn't seem to care at all. Like he was used to it. It was during the beginning of October that he noticed me. Probably because I looked like a black hole compared to the other students. He sat down at the table next to me and smiled a little at me. It wasn't flirty, just a polite friendly smile you give to someone when you're in their space. I felt my cheeks glow but I smiled back and then looked back at my computer quickly. He wore a vintage Harley Davidson tee with green cargo shorts and his usual boots. It had become colder but he wore shorts anyway. Either he lived for the whole grunge style or he was just a bit odd. He didn't seem to have a jacket either. He was probably odd, still my heart beated hard in my chest, I could hear it in my ears. I felt stupid. I could never get a guy like him. Never. He was hot in a totally new league. The guys I had thought was hot before I saw him would disappear into the wall next to this guy.

I looked at him without him noticing. He looked confused and mostly just stared down at the laptop in front of him. I wanted to help but would never dare to ask. There was something about him that made me want to take care of him. He looked a bit lost and his eyes showed vulnerability. Maybe he wasn't as cool as I had thought earlier. Or he was that cool sensitive guy. The artsy type.

The more I saw of him I fantasized about him. First about just meeting him, be with him but after a while he became the face of my sexual fantasies. He was the one in my mind when I touched myself. This made it even weirder to see him and especially the times he was close and he smiled at me. In my imagination I more or less had a relationship with the guy.

I sat and really tried to study even if he sat in front of me, dressed in a budweiser tee with a big hole by the collar so it showed his naked shoulder. It was black with ink and I could see the head of some sort of bird through the hole. He stood up and walked away to the shelfs. He had just left all of his things behind. Of course I wouldn't let anyone take them but he couldn't know that. He came back but instead of walking back to his table he turned to me. I looked down at my book and tried to look busy. I had dreamt of talking to him for weeks but now when maybe it would happen I didn't even dare to look at him.

"Ehh, do you know where the shelf for design history is?" He asked with a smooth voice.

I looked up at him and got caught in the plumpness of his lips. Fuck.

"I think it must be in the art section?" I said with a small voice.

"And where is that?" He smiled embarrassed.

I couldn't just let him hang. I wanted contact with him, now I could have a chance. I just wanted to know a bit about him, not like I thought he would become my boyfriend. As I said, I wouldn't have a chance.

"I can show you, I should just…" I trailed off as I started to pack my things.

"I think you should do the same, it's in another part of the library."

He shrugged his shoulders like he didn't care.

"There have been thefts here." I continued.

"Really? I didn't think the students here did such things." He said and walked back to his spot at the table to collect his laptop. He carried it under his arm like it was a book.

I smiled a little and then started to walk to the art shelves. I noticed people looking at us, I was used to some stares but not like this.

"Design history," I pointed to a sign on a shelf.

"Aaah! Nice!" He said like I saved his life.

He smiled big. As I was turning around to walk back I felt a warm hand on my naked wrist.

"I didn't get your name?" I looked up at his face and swallowed hard. He said it so real and honest. Like a kid trying to get a friend.

"Theo…. What's yours?"

"Axel," he said and gave me a crooked smile. Could he have a more attractive name?

"It was really nice of you to help. You are here quite often right?" He said and put his Mac down on a table close by.

"Almost everyday. I like the library."

"I could almost see that. You look like a library girl," I smiled amused.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, warm and soft and like stable." It felt like a nice way to call me fat.

"Oh," I said and looked away with a hurt look. Of course he was an asshole. What did I believe? He saw me just as a fat library girl and he was the cool guy, going home to his equally cool thin girl friend.

"You are really beautiful, do you know that?" He suddenly said and all my negative feelings burned up and I looked into his soulful eyes.

"I don't mean that in a creepy way. Or in a… I don't know, you are just a gorgeous girl and I thought you should know."

His words warmed me like a summer day and I was forced to put my hands on my cheeks to hide my blush. Axel smiled a little.

"I'm also often here, so if you want to have a friendly coffee with me sometimes that would be awesome. I don't know anyone here."

I nodded and I probably smiled like an idiot.

"Absolutely."

"And we can listen to Chelsea Wolfe and you can tell me about that little tattoo you have in your neck," he said and I looked at him a bit confused. How did he know these details?

"I saw on your phone once that you listened to her." He smiled and stuffed his hands in the front pockets of his jeans.

"Do you like her?"

"All the cool kids do," he said and wiggled with his brows. I laughed a little. He was so perfect. But even if he said I was gorgeous I could feel that he wasn't mine to look at. There was something that made my feelings towards him feel wrong. A girlfriend, I thought and my gut feeling said the same. But I was more than pleased to be his friend, or so I thought.

×

I noticed quickly that Axel was the impulsive type and even sort of a misfit. He didn't think about what others thought about him or cared what the rules were. It began when he started to sit with me in the library. He never asked if it was okay and he treated me like a friend at once. He was way too loud for being in a library and most often sat on top of the table. I saw library staff looking at him but Axel's appearance probably made them look the other way. One day he suddenly jumped one table and over the next to join me instead of going around. He did it smoothly and athletic like the tables were made for him to jump between. He smiled big at me when he jumped down from the table. He had made everyone look at him.

"Hey!" He said a bit breathless and continued to smile a big contagious smile. I looked at him and laughed while shaking my head.

"Emm… Axel, the tables aren't really made for jumping on," I said and he turned around and looked at them but also at the people sitting by the tables.

"Oh, I just took a shortcut," he shrugged his shoulders. "But I will remember that." He sat down next to me and gave me a hug with one arm, he smelled like wood oil and something musky.

"Are you happy today?" I asked and hugged him back.

"Yeah and I've realized I love this library. It's so cozy." He leaned back in the chair so much it looked like it would tip over.

I smiled, it was hard to not to, Axel looked like a happy child.

"Should I help you with that essay?” I asked and opened his MacBook for him. He nodded and looked at me up and down. His eyes stayed a bit too long at my neckline but I didn't react to it. He had wonder eyes but it felt like he did that with everyone. As I said, had l learned Axel had problems with his impulse control and watching girls' tits was probably one of them. I started to show him how to write an essay, helped him even start to write the introduction. He listened observantly and smiled at me every time I looked at him. The butterflies in my stomach were having a party but I tried not to think about it.

"Do you know a place to eat around here? One that serves vegan food? I eat the same sandwich every day from that truck by the fountain." He said when he had finished his introduction paragraph.

"Are you a vegan?" Suddenly he became even more attractive.

"Yeah," he just said and saved his document.

I closed my book.

"There is a vegan place by the hospital, I can show you?"

"You can eat with me," he said without asking. He didn't need to anyway. I loved being in Axel's messy, wild world.

I took him to the restaurant and we sat down by a table by the window. Axel had that net tank top but with a khaki patterned zip hoodie over it. People still looked at him even if I thought he looked more normal.

"I want to know more about you, spill," he said. I had become used to Axel saying what he thought.

"Ehh… You know I am studying to become a doctor and you know about my cats, Shadow and Dark." He nodded.

"But are you from here? I mean, you don't look like you are from here," he said with food in his mouth. I took his word as a complement.

"I am, but from outside of the town. I have lived like between here and the neighboring town. Close to nature."

"Really, I live in that area and my dad owns quite a lot of land and has sheeps. He said with big eyes.

"Cluney?" I said with furrowed brows.

"Yeah! My dad is Oscar Cluney!" He said excitedly. "But where do you live?"

"My parents live in the manor, Crane Duns Manor? I live in town now."

Axel smiled and dragged his hand over the stubble on his jaw.

"I used to steal apples from you. And once I also let your dogs out of the kennel…"

I just shook my head amused.

"I know, you are the Cluney boy after all," I said teasingly.

"So you heard about me too?"

"I am four years younger than you. I heard it all," I said first teasingly but then I remember all the other stuff about Axel.

"...But you didn't have it so easy…" I said carefully. Axel looked down at his empty plate and sighed.

"So you know about that too?"

"Probably not everything but I know that your dad was in prison for a few years…"

"Because he killed my mother's brother. You can say it… I have talked about it to my therapist…" He looked out the window and then looked at me.

"Do you want to go out to my fathers land and take a walk? It's really nice this time of year."

×

Of course I said yes. We took Axel's car out to his fathers and parked it in front of a barn. I jumped out and looked around. It was beautiful with the big fields, the orange and red trees and the sheeps that roamed around calmly. Axel stood next to me and I could feel his eyes on me.

"You are so pretty," he suddenly said and I looked up at him. I wanted to smile but it felt wrong.

"I don't think your girlfriend would like that you say those things to me."

We started to walk slowly.

"It's just the truth. I don't mean to come on to you or something." I could feel his eyes on me but I continued to look at the surroundings.

"Sometimes it's better to not tell the truth, you know. She would probably see it as a slight against her if she could hear you."

Axel was quiet.

"You're right. I have neglected her."

I didn't say anything, just waited for him to continue.

"But we fight so much and I can't even go out for a walk without her condescending looks… I can't really talk to her. Not the way I can talk to you or… even some of her family."

I nodded a little.

"I won’t tell you to talk to her because you have obviously tried but maybe you should think about what you want with your relationship? It isn't fair to either of you to be in some sort of limbo." I said and took his hand carefully in mine, just as comfort, I was surprised when he just continued to hold it.

"My dad isn't a bad man, you know that right?" He said and hugged my hand in his.

"I know, he has always been really nice to me and my brothers."

He nodded.

"Younger brothers?"

"A lot younger, 9 and 12. And they’ve started to become just as awful as you were." I joked.

Axel smiled amused but then looked at the gray sky and became quiet for a while.

"...my uncle liked to slap me around. He moved in with us after my mom's death, said he was there to help but in reality he was homeless. He was always angry at me, I guess I have some diagnosis and I was a troublesome kid. So when I was like eleven I think, he started to beat me up. One time he grabbed my hair so hard he actually pulled off a big chunk. I was forced to shave it all off because it looked insane." He said the last part with humor but it was obviously a defense. I looked at his profile and could almost see that young boy in his face while he told me. My heart beated hard out of anger and sadness. It also beated hard because I obviously loved the man walking next to me. Axel was hard to not love.

"Dad was so angry but he didn't dare to do anything because when he did my uncle called social service and said it was my dad that beat me up. And those fucking idiots belived him instead of my father. They didn't even talk to me. They took me away for a few months to some kind of home for troubled kids but then they let me go back. As soon as I was home my uncle started to beat me again. He beat me up so hard one night that he broke several of my ribs, my face looked like a purple balloon. It was then my father killed him."

The tears streamed down Axel's cheeks but he just continued to talk. When he took a break I pulled him down in a hug. He cried and cried and I joined him. Right then and there I hadn’t known how few people Axel had told his story to but in the future I would feel honored that he told me.

We were standing at a weird angle so we laid down on the field even though it was a bit damp and he snuggled into my chest. I would never have let anyone else do so but just as when I saw for the first time, I just wanted to take care of him. He took a deep breath and snuggled my tits a bit more.

"He broke his skull against the pavement while they fought. When the police came they finally listened to us, about my uncle's abuse. Hello, they could see my face. My dad was convicted to four years in prison for causing another's death. And for me it was back to that home."

"I would have killed him too, your uncle I mean," I said with tears in my throat. "I would have crushed that skull in a thousand pieces."

Even if Axel cried I could feel him smile against my chest.

"I'm so glad you are my friend." He whispered and then he kissed the top of my breast. I put a finger against his lips.

"I'm happy we are friends too but friends don't do that, okay? I really love… our friendship but you can't do that when you have a girlfriend." He looked up at me and nodded, he looked guilty but then laid down on my chest again.

On the way back to town, we sat quiet in the car. So much had been said, so much had been done. It felt like we had done something really bad and maybe it was. Has Axel cheated? And what did he see in me to do such a thing? I looked at his tattooed hands on the steering wheel, big and strong. I watched his face. Beautiful but sad. I knew I loved him even if we hadn't known each other very long. I had loved having him against my chest, even the kiss. I thought about those plump lips around my nipple and was surprised by my own thoughts. I wanted him so close against my chest like a baby. He has had such a tough life and I wanted to be just that stable person he could lean against.

"I'm so fucking hungry. Do you know any good pizza places?"

"There is one close to McDonalds. They have many different vegan pizzas."

I said and blushed about what I had fantasized about.

"I know I don't need to say this but I want to say it anyway. What I told you stay between us two, right?" He said and gave me a short look.

"Of course Axe, of course."

"My girlfriend doesn't know about it yet."

I watched him with furrowed brows. Had he told me instead of his girlfriend?

"Maybe… you should tell her?" I said carefully.

"I know. I know. It's just… I can't even form the words in my head when I'm with her. And I'm afraid she will judge my dad."

"Does she know your dad?"

"Yeah, we live so close." He parked the car outside of the pizza place but we stayed in the car.

"Then she probably will understand. Don't you think so?"

Axel turned his eyes to me now when he didn't need to watch the road. His eyes were a bit red from all the crying.

"No. She can be really judgemental. I know it is because she isn't as used to "the hard life" but it can be really frustrating when she is so stuck in her ways. She doesn’t like that I am studying. Or that I have started running, she sees that and feels like I am changing so much. I am still the same, I just like doing other things."

I wondered why he was with her. I wondered why he didn't dump her and come and suck my tits for real but I was quiet. I guess there was something that made him stay.

"It's probably just hard for her to see that you do things while she is left behind. It can be really provoking seeing someone dare to try something new."

Axel smiled a little.

"What?" I asked and smiled confused.

"You just say such wise things. And really try to understand her." He said and smiled a bit bigger. I smiled back.

"So, pizza?" I asked.

"Pizza!" He said with a weird cartoonish voice and I laughed.

We stood and looked at the menus, I wanted something with sundried tomatoes, I loved that. I looked at Axel who stood with furrowed brows, looking at the menu.

"What do you want?"

He squinted his eyes and walked a bit closer.

I laughed a little.

"Can't you see?"

"No, it's the same thing at the lectures. They write everything so fucking small." He said and walked even closer. The staff watched amused.

"Axel, I can read for you."

"Yeah, yeah." He said and walked back to me.

"But tomorrow you should make an appointment with the optician." He nodded a little absent minded.

"What's that?"

"An optician? They help you get glasses. You need it." I smiled at his hard thinking face.

"Glasses?"

"You are nearsighted, that's why you get closer to things to see."

Axel nodded again.

"Okay, but can you help me with that?" I laughed and walked closer to him.

He was so lovable I just wanted to eat his face.

"Of course."

I wanted to call him baby but I knew I couldn't. Friends didn't do that.

×

[krispytidalwavesheep]

Hopes and Dreams II

First of all: HOW AMAZING ARE YOU PEOPLE?! You gave me so much serotonin. All the reblogs with added tags, all the comments and favs and all the new followers, you are amazing. I will add a taglist for future chapters, so if you wanna get tagged, hit me up, and you will be added to that list. Seriously, I love you guys. ***

“Will you be able to walk?” Alcina asked and you just shrugged and motioned for her to lead the way. You walked in companionable silence for a while, which gave her the chance to take a longer look at you. You were pretty tall, even though you were still rather small compared to Alcina. She was pretty sure that you were taller than Heisenberg though, and that made her feel odd. You held yourself with a confidence she wouldn’t have expected after everything that happened in the last few minutes, reminding her again that you were not unfamiliar with the supernatural. It unnerved her to no end, and she found herself wanting to solve the mystery that surrounded you. Where did you come from? Exactly what is it what you were doing here? Would you turn into a threat or into an ally? Alcina wasn’t stupid, far from it. She knew that Mother Miranda’s hold on the Lords was slipping, Heisenberg’s silent plotting was proof enough. Did Mother Miranda know that you were here? Alcina sure didn’t, and the other Lords didn’t mention a stranger roaming the village and the surrounding woods. Although Heisenberg mentioned that an unusual amount of Lycans had disappeared. 

Her eyes roamed your figure again. Your hair was kept in a neat undercut, colored in a hideous blue that still looked good on you. You were clad in a black Hoodie and equally black Cargo pants, as if the cold didn’t bother you at all. It was the middle of the winter and yet you strolled through the cold as if it was springtime. Which made her wonder if you were really just a mere human. Everything she experienced with you implied that you weren’t ordinary and that intrigued Alcina greatly.

“You could just ask me about myself, you know?” you said and smiled up at her knowingly. Alcina flustered and wiped some non-existent lint from her long dress. So, you were aware that she was watching you.

“We usually don’t see strangers in these parts, especially ones who seem to know more than they should. Which raises the question why exactly you are here?”

“Considering that we just met, my lady, it wouldn’t be wise to reveal my whole tragic backstory. And further considering that I don’t know if I’ll see the light of day ever again if I were to enter your castle, forgive me if I won’t trust you with my motives yet. All you need to know for know is, that I am a traveler and have been for my whole life. I search for artifacts, among other things, that my benefactor can sell for good money. He took me in when I was just a child and took great care in training me. He is the closest thing I have to a father figure, although most people think me insane for the trust, I have in him. And as for why I am in Romania, I don’t really know to be honest, or wasn’t when I first got here. It was a gut feeling telling me to come here, and I find that I can trust those feelings, whenever they arise.” You said and stretched.

“I won’t keep you locked in the castle if you don’t give me a reason to mistrust you. There is a reason why no one come to these parts, so I am very wary of strangers. I have daughters to protect after all.” Alcina said, musing about what you said. If you were a traveler looking for artifacts, it would explain why you look at the supernatural as if it was a normal occurrence.

“You will have to see for yourself then, but I can assure you, that I am not here to hurt you or your daughters. My last mission… Didn’t go well and I originally came here recharge a bit, if you know what I mean. Again, forgive me if I am being too careful, but I have more enemies than I have friends, and I really like living.” You said carefully and Alcina kept staring at you. You didn’t seem dangerous to her, how could you, looking like you did, but she was still wary. She felt the sudden urge to protect you from whatever enemies you were talking about, but you were strangers. That realization hurt her more than it should, but with your past lives, it was so different. She always knew who was in front of her, whenever she met you, but this time around was just so complicated.

She felt drawn to you, even with your boyish looks you were still immensely attractive to her, and the way your blood sang to her made you all the more alluring. More than ever before if she was honest. But that is the problem, you were still familiar to her, but not as much as before and it scared her. You still had the potential to destroy her, even if you didn’t know about that.

***

You could practically smell the curiosity rolling of Lady Dimitrescu. She was wary of you and yet there was something in her eyes that you couldn’t quite place, even though it made your heart soar to new heights. She was as much a mystery to you as you were to her, and you felt so drawn to her. Like a moth to the flame. You briefly wondered if it had something to do with her nature. She seemed like a careful person, but considering from what you heard in the village, you totally got that. Which is why her next question caught you quite a bit off-guard: “Do you actually have a place to stay or are you just roaming around the forest, picking fights with Lycans?”

“Are you offering, my lady?” you said, wearing a Cheshire grin and wiggling your eyebrows. The blush that colored the Lady’s cheeks was worth every punishment you could possibly get from that comment. You still valued your life though, so you said: “I don’t mean you any harm. I just enjoy some friendly banter and it has been ages since I felt comfortable enough to do so. To answer your question, no, I don’t really have a place to stay. I’m helping someone with their housework every now and then though, so as a thanks they let me sleep on their couch whenever possible.”

“What kind of housework?”

“Nothing much, some cooking and general repairs.” You shrug and the smile she gave you was positively sinful when she asked, “What else are you able to do with your hands?”

It was your turn to blush and blushing you did; you even felt the tips of your ears go warm and it didn’t help at all that Lady Dimitrescu started chuckling. Still, you weren’t one to miss an opportunity so you said “Well that’s for you to find out, my lady” with a smaller voice you would have liked. How had one woman such a power over you?

“Hmmm, maybe I will, my dear,” she said and winked, making your brain short circuit. You stumbled in your steps and her hand steadying you didn`t help one bit. Sparks shot through your arm when she touched you and you felt something niggling at the back of your mind. No one ever had such an effect on you, no matter how stunningly beautiful they were. Suddenly, shivers ran down your spine, and not the good ones, so you took a protective stand in front of Lady Dimitrescu and said “Careful. Someone is watching.”

And just as you spoke the words, a shadow descended upon you and your instinct started to kick in. Your knife was out in seconds, a voice in your head urging you to protect your Lady. So, when the shadow descended upon you, you had it pinned down, snarling furiously. You felt your fangs elongating and your sense grew ever sharper. Well, seems like the cat was out of the bag now.

“Let go of me!” the girl you had pinned to the ground snarled, but her attempts to flee were futile. 

“Give me one good reason to not kill you on the spot. How long have you been stalking us?” You snarl, feeling your blood start to boil.

“Let go of her, dear. She had no ill intentions.” Lady Dimitrescu said, and against all odds, you calmed. Huh. That had never happened before.

“Is this a new plaything, mother?” the girl asked, and you started snarling again, but a hand at the back of your neck made you freeze.

“Don’t be rude, Daniela. She is our guest, and she needs some medical attention. So be nice.” Lady Dimitrescu said and the girl, Daniela started pouting and muttering something under her breath. You were still on edge, bare containing the snarl that wanted to leave your throat. The hand around your neck tightened in warning and another shiver ran down your spine. One of the good ones.

“So, I was right about you. You are not entirely human.” Lady Dimitrescu purred, and you had the sudden urge to bolt and hide away. You noticed how much she must have hold back until now, the danger rolling of on her in waves was something you never once encountered.

“I told you that something happened to me. If you promise not to harm me, I will tell you what happened. But I can promise you that I am no danger to you or anyone else, if not properly provoked.” You said and dusted of your knees. She let go of you and turned to Daniela, conversing with her in Romanian. Daniela looked at you with sudden intrigue and a nasty smile. She practically screamed trouble, and you weren’t sure if you could handle it.

“Come now, it isn’t far anymore. Daniela will alert the castle of our arrival, to avoid any nasty surprises.” Lady Dimitrescu said and led you away. And sure enough, a few minutes later you reached the castle gate, three figures awaiting you. One you recognized as Daniela, so the other two must be her sisters. One of them looked at you with mild interest, while the other one looked at you with a spark of recognition in her eyes. Had you met before on one of your travels? You were pretty sure that wasn’t the case, but let it slide anyway, since you had bigger problems right now.

“Bela, would you please prepare the sitting room in the west wing? I will need some antiseptic and bandages, warm water would be wonderful too. When you are finished with that, prepare the guest room next to mine. We will talk later.”

The one who seemed to recognize you from somewhere left in a flurry of… bugs? What the fuck? 

“Cassandra, Daniela, please prepare a light super. I will talk to you two later two. Just bring the food into the sitting room when you are finished, yes?” The order was given gently and in another flurry of bugs, you were alone again.

“You can explain yourself when I am cleaning and dressing your wounds. Come now.” She said and led you into the castle. You were still processing the abilities of her daughter, so you followed her silently into the dimly lit entryway. *** Taglist: @imdreamingblo

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Bound Blood (Cassandra Dimitrescu/Reader, Soulmate AU) Pt. 5.5 Bonus

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Rating: T+ for language Warnings: None Summary: Local feral human spends some time with their new family. Four short bits featuring Daphne (Maiden OC), Bela, Lady D, Daniela, and a surprise guest. Enjoy. Previous Chapters: 1: Sharing Is (Not) Caring; 2: Bloodbath, Baby!, 3: Haunt Me Dearly, 4: Portraits For Ghosts, 5: Heart Of The Matter

5.5: Family

i.

“Wait, you’re telling me that you came here willingly?” You asked, mouth agape, eyes wide. It felt like every time you talked to Daphne she had something incredible to say. Which was, of course, why she was your favorite maiden to talk to. That, and the fact that she had adapted so quickly to your ‘charming personality’. So far she was the only servant you had been willing to be honest with. Mainly about your feelings regarding your blood bond, but also just about your relationship with Cassandra in general. Something about Daphne simply made her incredibly approachable. From what you had heard, you weren’t the only one to think as such, with her being fairly popular among the castle workers.

“More of us do than you might expect. Some consider it an honor to serve one of the four Lords, and Castle Dimitrescu is certainly… nicer than either the factory or the reservoir. Personally, I came here for a friend of mine. She, well, had less of a choice. I couldn’t bear the thought of her being here without knowing anyone, so it felt like I only had one option. Can’t say I regret my decision, if you can believe it,” Daphne explained, folding laundry all the while. At the same time, you carefully sort through the not yet washed clothing, separating them into two baskets. After all, you wouldn’t want Lady Dimitrescu to end up with a pink dress! Technically this wasn’t your job, nor did you have a job at all, but you hated having idle hands- especially when talking to someone who was working. At first Daphne had protested, but she had given in upon realizing just how stubborn you could be.

“That’s… impressive. I mean, holy shit, that's a real ride or die friendship right there. Is she, uh, is your friend still, you know, around?” You stuttered, cursing your tongue for asking such a thing. If the answer was no, you were going to feel like a real asshole. Which, admittedly, you had a tendency to be. But this wasn’t one of the times where it was intentional. Thankfully, Daphne is all smiles, and even seems amused by your spluttering.

“Yes, we’re even roommates. Well, us and five others. Possibly with a sixth one on the way, if we ever get someone to fill the empty space,” she replies, pausing to think. Then she’s back to work, refusing to waste any time. “Speaking of roommates… I know I said I’m not one for gossip, and I meant it, but a little songbird told me that Cassandra seems to be in a much better mood these days. Are the two of you, well, getting along? It would be nice to know that soulmates can overcome even the roughest of introductions.” There’s a hint of something odd in her tone, and you take a moment to wonder what she’s (unintentionally) hinting at. Had she met her soulmate, only for things to go poorly?... Before answering her, you make a mental note, deciding to see if any of the other maidens had a scar across their nose.

“It’s not like she and I are dating or anything. We’re just, you know, not hating each other. Currently,” you said, shrugging. But Daphne raises an eyebrow at you, and you find yourself instinctively feeling guilty, somehow feeling small next to the shortest person you knew. “Alright, alright, we might have… Okay we kissed. And promised each other not to die, because having your soulmate die hurts like hell. Also maybe she showed me her mom’s art collection and I made a joke about the titty sculptures because holy shit, this house has a lot of titties.” At this, Daphne bursts into laughter, grinning from ear to ear.

“Amen to that, for sure.”

ii.

“So… fan of science, I see,” you say, awkwardly, bouncing a little on your heels. Next to you is the eldest Dimitrescu daughter, who had unexpectedly joined your table in the library. There were several other places she could have sat, with both more comfortable seating and more workspace, but for some reason she had chosen here. So far she hadn’t said a word. Hell, you hadn’t spoken to her since your first meeting, where she had suggested killing you. Naturally, you weren’t quite sure what to make of her. Something told you that she felt much the same about yourself.

“Fan of oversimplification, I see,” Bela counters, after a few tense seconds. Then she sets down her book- a heavy text about Romanian avian fauna- to give you her full attention. “It would be more accurate to say that I enjoy studying biology, particularly the branch of zoology.” Well, this conversation was certainly… happening. Honestly, you couldn’t tell whether she was legitimately judging you, or merely chaffing you for her own amusement.

“You’ll have to, er, forgive me for being overly broad. Consider it a side effect of my nerves, those themselves being due to our unsavory introduction. In case you don’t recall, you put that sickle of yours into my shoulder,” you reminded, with a sarcastic smile. To your surprise, Bela chuckles at this, almost as if fondly remembering the incident. Seriously, you think, why did my soulmate have to be from this family?

“Staying silent was an option. Perhaps that would have suited you better?” Bela says, now clearly teasing, smile much more genuine than your own. Knowing she had a point, you’re quick to blush, mildly embarrassed.

“Touche. I am curious, however, why you decided to sit next to me in the first place. I certainly wouldn’t have tried starting a conversation if you hadn’t,” you explained.

“Like I said… I enjoy studying zoology,” Bela replies, with a sly grin. It takes you a few moments to understand the intended implications. Once you do, however, you’re giving her a hard stare. Then you scoot your chair a few inches away from her, in exaggerated movements. “Don’t worry, I was only joking. Though you certainly are an interesting human. Much more, hmm, cheeky? Compared to the servants, at least.”

“Somehow I get the feeling that they simply prefer being alive, as opposed to not being as snippy. Except maybe Daphne, now that I think about it. Very sweet, that one,” you muse. “Regardless, I think I’ll return to my book now, for it lacks a tongue, and is therefore less likely to taunt me.” Doing just as you had said, you open the book, holding it a bit higher than what would be comfortable, so that it becomes a ‘shield’ of sorts. Nothing was quite as satisfying as subtle body language.

Accepting your words with a shrug, Bela also resumes reading, turning to a bookmarked page. Roughly an hour of relative quiet passes. Neither of you so much as glance at each other, not even when she drops the pen she had been taking notes with. In the end, you are the one who leaves first, and finally the silence is broken. You give your goodbyes, and Bela returns them politely. Though you do not know it, she sets her book down as soon as you leave, pausing to think about you. Now that things had ‘calmed down’, it was reassuring for her to know that you weren’t always full of spite. Still, you held onto your cleverness (for the most part), leaving her with no doubt about the universe’s decision. You were her sister’s soulmate.

iii.

“It’s official: I’m lost in a creepy castle. The universe hates me. Probably should have realized that sooner, considering how it decided to introduce me to my soulmate,” you mutter, scowling deeply, as you wander unfamiliar halls. How had you even gotten lost? Sure, you had taken a wrong turn, but it hadn’t taken long for you to realize your mistake! Evidently you somehow managed to make another one while backtracking. Now you were standing in the center of the corridor, hands on your hips, desperate for some maiden to come rescue you. What you really didn’t want was Cassandra to find you, because she’d make fun of you for the rest of your life. It’s not like she had specifically joked about you getting lost before. Except that was exactly what had happened.

A few minutes pass uneventfully. There aren’t even any distant sounds of life; no footsteps, nor echoing voices, nor the squeaking of floorboards. All you can hear is your own breathing. As well as the occasional sigh, admittedly. By this point, there’s a part of you that’s starting to panic. After all, there was a chance that the castle was big enough for certain sections to be abandoned. Hopefully that’s not the case, you think, I mean, they’d cut the power to those parts, right? Here’s hoping… With that in mind, you get back to wandering, figuring that you’d have to eventually run into a familiar landmark. Or better yet, someone who actually knew the castle’s layout.

When salvation at last reveals its holy visage, it is not in the form of a lowly servant, rather the muffled voice of none other than Lady Dimitrescu herself. Neither her exact words nor who she’s speaking to is clear. At first, you can’t even tell where her voice is coming from, but you quickly approach one closed door, then another, searching for the source. Several doors later you’re certain you’ve found her. By then you can tell that she’s not alone. Not wanting to seem rude by interrupting, you take a few steps back, leaning against the wall to wait. For the most part you still cannot make out what’s being said, but a few words do reach your ears.

“-expected more from you. How am I-” the voice gets cut off, not by Alcina, rather a sudden gust of air, akin to massive wings flapping. When the speaker continues, they are both louder and angrier. “Someone is listening. Have you not taken steps to ensure our privacy?” Then the door is swinging open, revealing your soulmate’s mother. At first she’s practically shaking with rage, but her expression turns to shock when she sees you.

“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with Cassandra?” Lady Dimitrescu asks, clearly stressed, as she steps into the corridor. There’s movement behind her, although you cannot make out any details. Besides, you’re quick to answer her, wishing to avoid her wrath (and that of whoever she was speaking to).

“I’m so sorry, Lady Dimitrescu, I was walking from the dining hall to Cassandra’s studio, and I took a wrong turn. I’ve been wandering for half an hour now. When I heard your voice, I thought perhaps I could, well, enlist your assistance. But you were busy, so I figured I’d wait outside. If I had-...” you pause, gulping, as the other figure steps into view. It’s a face you’re all too familiar with. One that popped up countless times through the village, and again throughout the castle, the owner’s name always spoken with acclaim, with worship. Mother Miranda, in the flesh, wings spreading out behind her, somehow cutting a more impressive silhouette than even Lady Dimitrescu. Instantly you’re falling to your knees, knowing that your sharp tongue was no match for this practical goddess.

“Who is this, Dimitrescu? Why isn’t their blood staining your claws?” Miranda questions, gaze never leaving your trembling form.

“This… this is one of my daughters’ soulmates. They were brought in with the last group of sacrifices,” Lady Dimitrescu explains, uncharacteristically hesitant. ‘Twas a true testament to Miranda’s power, as well as her influence, that she could make someone so powerful seem so weak. Which was exactly why you were shaking with anxiety. But to your surprise, the goddess does not immediately order your execution for your trespass.

“And already they know their place, hmm? Kneeling before me?” Miranda says, a strange smile dancing on her lips. Whatever anger she had been feeling a minute prior had faded, though you couldn’t even begin to guess as to why. Regardless, both Alcina and yourself are quite relieved, though neither of you are quick to show it. “Either they have a good head on their shoulders, or you still take care of some of your duties. Very well, they may live. For now. But I expect next week’s report to be far more favorable. I don’t need to remind you of the price for failing me.” With that said, Mother Miranda turned to leave, a swirling mass of dark feathers flying past you.

A minute passes, maybe two, before either of you feel capable of speaking up.

“Let’s get you back where you belong, yes?” Lady Dimitrescu says, quietly, before placing her hand on your shoulder to guide you. Tension hangs clear and heavy over both of you. Even as you walk down corridor after corridor, the feeling does not ease. At least not until you’re back in familiar territory, near where you had originally made your mistake, finally able to breathe a little. It’s here that Lady Dimitrescu pauses to speak once more. “Tomorrow I will assign one of the servants to give you a tour, in the hopes that this does not happen again. Furthermore, I ask that you forget everything you heard earlier, for it is neither your business… or my daughter’s.” You’re quick to nod, and with that she bids you farewell, leaving you alone. Now, you think, was it left from here, or right?

iv.

“I’m just going for a walk. Why do you care so much? It’s not like it’s any of your business,” Daniela assures you, despite the fact that all you had done was say ‘hello’. If this was her attempt at casting aside suspicion, she had done a terrible job of it. What made her so nervous? Was it even worth investigating? Only one way to find out.

“You’re rather bundled up, planning on being out for long?” You ask, trying to sound casual, leaning against the wall as you did. In response, Daniela pretty much stomps her foot. There’s something odd in her expression, however, that implies your question hit a soft spot. Certainly wasn’t what you had expected. “Don’t mind me, just trying to make conversation with my soulmate’s sister. Speaking of her… have you seen Cassandra? Is she, perhaps, going with you?” A little misdirection never hurt anyone. Probably.

“No!” Daniela replies, fast as a gunshot, too much emphasis to be unintentional. But she realizes her mistake as soon as she’s made it, and makes a clear effort to relax herself. “She’s probably in her studio, doing whatever it is she calls art, on the other end of the house. Besides, I don’t want any company for this walk.” For a moment you merely squint at her, unsure of how to proceed. In the end, you decide that it really is none of your business, being more than satisfied by what teasing you’ve already done.

“Alright, alright. Well then, I’ll leave you be. Just… be careful, yeah? If you get hurt, and your mother finds out that I didn’t stop you from going… not sure Cassandra could save me,” you say, with a shrug. At first Daniela can’t decide whether to be upset or relieved, but she seemingly settles for the latter, giving you a brief nod before heading outside. As the door shut behind her, you couldn’t help but wonder if you had done the right thing.

[phati-sari]

Arshi FF: Tere Bin - Chapter 8

Read from the beginning | Chapter 7

Chapter 8: Ranjha (listen while reading)

Khushi

“What was he doing here?”

Khushi answered without turning, her head resting on the window sill as she studied the moon. “I don’t know.”

It’d taken a long time to escape to the room she shared with her sister after they’d first stepped through the doors. First, Amma had asked about the hospital visit, making Khushi recite everything the Doctor Sahib had said while Bua-ji interrupted often to ask questions. Babu-ji had soon taken over, asking to see the paperwork Khushi had collected and asking a few questions of his own. Still full from the gol gappe, Khushi had nibbled on some puri under Jiji’s watchful gaze while the family considered the payment plan the clinic had laid out.

Luckily, no one had asked exactly how she’d gotten home.

“You were in his car, Khushi.” Jiji came to stand next to her, her tone coloured with disapproval.

“The auto broke down. He was driving past.”

“He, of all the people in Lucknow and Delhi, just happened to be driving by? At the exact moment your auto broke down?”

An odd defensiveness flared in her chest, words popping out of her mouth before she’d thought them through.

“What can I say, Jiji? My phone’s battery was dead, it was dark. He offered to drop me home.”

Jiji reached out to touch her shoulder. “Did he fight with you again?”

No, he bought me gol gappe.

“No more than usual,” Khushi tried to smile at her sister. “I’m fine. Really. He drove me home. That’s all.”

Though she looked unconvinced, Jiji stepped away with a nod to ready herself for bed. Khushi waited until she was alone to snatch her bag from where it hung on a hook. Her searching fingers found the business card he’d offered.

“Well, it’s just that you like arguing so much, and we argue so often … I think we should keep in touch.”

At the time, she’d been so startled that she’d simply taken the card and slid from the car without answering. Jiji, fortunately, had been too busy scowling at him through the windows to notice as she’d slipped it into her bag.

The card was thick, the surface almost velvety to the touch. It sported a bright red logo in the top corner and announced his name in crisp black letters — ARNAV SINGH RAIZADA. Khushi shook her head to clear the unbidden memory of correcting his name on hundreds of letters.

The writing on the card included a number she recognised for the reception desk at the head offices and an email address that his managers monitored. But he’d scrawled another number untidily along one side with a black pen.

His personal number, Khushi realised with a jolt.

It felt strangely intimate, though logic reminded her that she’d had the same number saved in her phone before he’d broken it on the storeroom floor.

Why is he still in Lucknow?

On the heels of this thought came another: Why should I care?!

Her mind was suddenly awhirl with memories — raised voices and shouted words, a fall from his window, the broken door to the storeroom. His airs about money and power. The terror of the guesthouse.

Khushi ripped the business card in half, her breath coming in rapid pants, and then tore it into even smaller pieces. Tears stung in her eyes. She scrunched the pieces into her palm as Jiji returned to the room.

“Make sure you wake up early tomorrow,” her sister draped her towel near the window. “We’re going to the temple.”

“Okay.”

Waiting until Jiji was occupied with something in the cupboard, Khushi returned the ruined card to her bag. In the bathroom, she brushed her teeth and washed her face before studying her reflection. Her pulse was a chaotic drumbeat in her body, her thoughts a wild tangle. And underneath it all was something that thrilled and scared her at the same time, something that had followed her to Lucknow.

                                    #####

“Everything leads back to him,” Jiji had groaned, rolling on her side on the bed they shared. “Just go to sleep quietly.”

It had been a week since they’d returned to Lucknow, and Khushi had been comparing the price of potatoes between Lucknow and Delhi. Or at least, that was how the conversation had started. She couldn’t remember how they’d gotten to talking about that Laad Governor.

“You’re right Jiji. We’re in Lucknow now and we’ll soon forget that we ever went to Delhi. Or that we met such cruel, haughty people. Although … Anjali-ji had such sweetness in her. It’s a shame that we had to leave without saying goodbye to her. At least we met one nice person in Delhi. Oh … and Nani-ji. Maybe two nice people. And Aakash-ji, I suppose, though —”

“— Khushi! Are you going to count out every member of his family? Your mind is like a compass that’s always stuck on him!”

“And why wouldn’t it be?” Khushi had asked hotly. “He sent me there to do some meaningless task, knowing the place was about to collapse.”

“I know. You’ll never have to see him again, Khushi. You resigned from that awful job, you gave him an earful, and now you’re here and he’s there.”

The words should have elated her, but they only left her feeling strangely hollow.

                                    #####

That hollowness sat heavily inside her as Khushi joined her sister in their bed a few minutes later, sliding between the covers with a sigh.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Jiji’s voice was soft in the dimness.

“Yes.”

“You barely ate dinner.”

“I’m not hungry.”

A short silence, in which Khushi’s mind unhelpfully replayed the way she’d fallen into his arms yet again.

Oh Devi Maiyya, couldn’t you find another place to make me slip? You mustn’t have liked the offering I left you this morning.

“I’m glad we came back to Babu-ji,” Jiji said softly. “I can’t imagine being away from home at a time like this.”

“The doctors said that as long as he rests properly and takes his medicines, there’s nothing to worry about.”

“He isn’t resting nearly enough, even with both of us at the shop.”

Khushi nodded her agreement, “He’s worried about the bills.”

“Bua-ji and Amma are talking about selling some jewellery. I thought I’d give them my bangles.”

“I have bangles we can sell too.”

It took a while for Jiji’s breathing to fall into the deep, slow rhythm of sleep. Khushi lay awake, her thoughts chasing each other in ever-tightening spirals.

The night of the photoshoot. The softness of her pallu as it slipped. The scorch of his gaze as it roved over her body and left her feeling singed. The electricity between them on Teej, every touch a bolt of lightning. The weight of him pressing into her in the storeroom.

She flushed, skin prickling and warmth blooming in secret places.

Stop it, Khushi. A handful of gol gappe is all it takes for you to forget his cruelty?

She turned onto her side with a huff. Sometimes it felt as though her life had been split into Before and After, as though falling at the fashion show had created an entirely new Khushi Kumari Gupta. A Khushi who was strangely compelled towards him, a Khushi who’d come dangerously close to swooning in his arms today. A Khushi who wanted something she had no name for.

“I didn’t know the situation at the guesthouse was that bad!”

“Do you really think I would’ve sent you there if I’d known? Is that what you think of me?”

For the first time, she allowed herself to entertain the idea that he hadn’t sent her there on purpose.

So what if he hadn’t? I was still trapped there for an entire day. He was wrong.

But the thought was impossible to dislodge now that it’d wormed into her mind. Having assumed he’d wanted to argue every time he’d approached her, she now considered whether he might have been trying to explain. She saw their interactions in a new light. The sweets, the cheque.

Did he feel guilty? Was he trying to say sorry?

She eventually fell into an uneasy sleep, tormented in her dreams by his eyes, his voice, the memory of his touch. She woke just before dawn, breathless and damp with sweat, the sheets tangled with her legs. Flinging them off, Khushi sat up in bed. Her sister made a questioning noise.

“Sleep, Jiji. It’s not time to wake up yet.”

A nameless storm raged in her chest, making it hard to breathe. She squeezed her eyes shut.

I should hate him.

A lurch in her tummy.

But I don’t.

Padding slowly over to her bag, she fished out the pieces of the business card one by one. There was a roll of tape amongst the paper and pens scattered on the table in the corner. Khushi glanced back at her sister as she sat. It took a few minutes to line up the jagged edges, to press the tape along them with trembling fingers until she could read his name again.

He’d set down a challenge. She wouldn’t back down.

    ********

Thanks for reading :) I know some of you may be disappointed with the level of introspection in this chapter and where I chose to end it. Tere Bin is Arnav’s story, one where he has to work out what he wants and how to get it while Khushi is in Lucknow. While I intend to dip into Khushi’s point of view where the story demands it (and I feel that her presence greatly improved Chapters 6 and 7), it will focus heavily on Arnav. I am not intentionally writing something to annoy or disappoint readers. I’m trying to do something very specific with this story, and like all experiments, I’m learning as I go :) 

[vgfm]

Deltarune Theory: The True Identity and Importance of “Everyman”

I’ve been away from the Undertale theory scene for a long time. It’s been so long that a whole new-fangled game got announced, and I’ve got some theories on it.

Are these theories about Gaster or Sans or whatever’s going on with Kris? Not exactly. At least, not yet. I’ve got a better character in mind.

Let’s start with Everyman: Undertale’s most obscure character and (I think) one of the most pivotal in Deltarune.

This is a two-part theory: the first part outlines who Everyman is and why I think he’ll be important in Deltarune. The second part? You’ll have to read and find out.

This is a long one and with loads of images, so strap yourselves in.

Sections

Part 1: Introduction to Everyman

Who is Everyman?

“So Everyman’s just an Easter egg, right?”

Everyman’s Importance

Why did Everyman appear in True Lab?

Why Everyman will have a bigger role in Deltarune

Part 2: Everyman is ???

What will Everyman’s role be?

Jevil’s Connection to Everyman

The Spade King’s clue

Additional Evidence

“Seriously?”

The Gaster connection

The “Strange Son”

Who made who?

“Seriously, who is Everyman?”

End

Closing Summary

Final Conclusions

Who is Everyman?

"Everyman” is a special attack that appears during the Reaper Bird amalgamate fight in True Lab.

This same figure appears twice in Deltarune’s first chapter:

Once as graffiti in an alleyway in Hometown...

...and again as a rare bullet attack during Jevil’s fight.

The name “Everyman” only ever appears in-game next to his graffiti portrait in Hometown. Everyman’s sprites are simply titled “strangeman” in Undertale’s game files:

[Image transcript: UTModTool is showing multiple highlighted sprite entries that begin with “spr_strangeman”. On the right is the file “spr_strangeman_walk” opened, showing a picture of Everyman. End image transcript]

Some time after Undertale’s release there was a since-deleted tweet from Toby with a picture of Reaper Bird’s attack that he titled “Everyman,” which is where fans first got the name.

[Image transcript: A tweet from toby fox that says “Everyman”. The first reply says “Is that his name. please thell me thats his obj name.” Toby’s response repeats “Everyman.” The next reply says “everything i aspire to be.” Toby responds again with “’Everyman’ you aspire to be.” Toby then adds another tweet saying “Description. Just a good guy that shows up on occasion.” end image transcript.]

This is a web archive screenshot so the image of Everyman’s bullet sprite wasn’t preserved here. Special thanks to catcat for tracking this one down!

“So Everyman’s just an Easter egg, right?”

I don’t think so. I’d be more inclined to write off Everyman’s role in Deltarune as a mere cameo if he had only shown up once. But it’s odd that Toby felt the need to include Everyman twice in a single chapter. To me this seems less like a one-off cameo and more like foreshadowing for a greater role in the full game.

Let’s compare Everyman’s appearances to instances of character foreshadowing and one-off cameos from Undertale and Deltarune:

Mettaton

[Image transcript: four Undertale screenshots arranged in a grid. In the top-left screenshot, the narration text box reads “(the machine isn’t working.)” as Frisk stares at Mettaton in Snowdin’s colored tile puzzle room. In the top-right screenshot, the narration textbox is reading a TV announcement in Papyrus’ house: “(It says ‘STAY TUNED FOR A NEW PROGRAM - MTT.’)”. In the bottom-left screenshot, Napstablook’s text box says “there’s a show i like to watch on it... sometimes...” as Frisk looks at their television. In the bottom-right screenshot, Undyne’s text box says “This oven is some top-of-the-line MTT thing.” as Frisk stares at her oven. End image transcript.]

Mettaton is foreshadowed multiple times before he makes his proper introduction in Alphys’ Lab. This includes a direct on-screen appearance of his rectangular form as part of Snowdin’s colored tile puzzle. What’s interesting is that half of these references (including the tile puzzle) only make sense in hindsight to a first-time player. For all we know there could be other, more-cryptic Everyman references already in Deltarune that we don’t have the full context to understand yet.

Rouxls Kaard

Despite his legendary introductory sequence catching many-a-player off-guard, Rouxls Kaard actually is foreshadowed a couple of times before his stunning debut.

[Image transcript: four Deltarune screenshots arranged in a grid. In the top-left screenshot, Ralsei is reading a message from Rouxls Kaard: “It says... ‘Thoust fools, thou will NEVER figure it out now!’. This is continued in the top-right screenshot: “Then it, um, says, ‘PS - I make my own Rules. - RK’”. In the bottom-left screenshot, a puzzle-master says “ROUXLS KAARD... Lord of the Puzzles... Be careful...!” In the bottom-right screenshot, one of Clover’s heads says “RK came by... What a hunk!” End image transcript.]

I’ve noticed from watching Let’s Plays that many people don’t even realize that these lines were meant to foreshadow him (and I’m pretty sure I didn’t realize it either on my first playthrough).

Ice-E

Now here’s something that’s an example of both a one-off cameo and proper foreshadowing! In Undertale, Ice-E is referenced exactly once in the entire game—as part of Sans’ Monster Kidz Word Search puzzle. No other character mentions Ice-E, Ice-E does not appear in-person, nor does the Ice-E’s restaurant appear... in Undertale. Deltarune is a completely different story.

[image transcript: Two Deltarune screenshots side-by-side. in the left screenshot, Kris looks under their sink and the narration text box says: “A can of Ice-E’s Cool Boys Body Spray ‘Spray For The Boys,’ Flamin’ Hot Pizza Flavor.” In the right screenshot, Kris reads a chart in the hospital. The narration text box says: “(It’s a classic 1-to-10 pain scale, using ICE-E as a model.)” End image transcript.]

In Deltarune chapter 1 we find numerous references and bits of foreshadowing for Ice-E and, lo and behold, we see that Ice-E’s restaurant exists in Hometown at the end of chapter 1. And notice how it’s multiple references and not just a one-off like last time.

In every example of foreshadowing listed above we’re given more than one hint of a character’s presence, and so far Everyman fits this same pattern. This makes me feel safe in assuming he will have a bigger role in the full game.

Everyman’s Importance

What’s interesting is that in Chapter 1, Everyman appears in both the light and dark worlds. So far Deltarune has kept the light and dark worlds largely separate from one another, with only Kris and Susie traveling between them (as far as we know).

Everyman’s presence in both worlds implies that either he can travel between both worlds as well, or at least that lightners and darkners are both familiar with him.

Based on what we know, I’d wager that Everyman is a lightner—specifically, a monster.  I say this for two reasons: 1.) so far we’ve only seen lightners (Kris and Susie) travel between both worlds, and 2.) this would explain Everyman’s appearance as one of Reaper Bird’s attacks in Undertale’s True Lab.

Why did Everyman appear in the True Lab?

The worlds of Undertale and Deltarune are connected. Toby has all-but-confirmed this himself.

[Image transcript: A screenshot from the official Deltarune website’s question-and-answer page. The question says “So there’s no connections between the two games?”. The answer says “It’s a different world that might even have different rules. That doesn’t mean there will be no connections at all though.” End image transcript.]

One major connection between Undertale and Deltarune is their largely-shared cast of characters. Many major characters from Undertale make an appearance in Deltarune’s first chapter, and Toby has shown that at least some characters from Deltarune’s universe have counterparts in the Undertale universe as well.

The Undertale Alarm Clock App makes reference to Rudolph Holiday living in the Underground some time prior to the events of Undertale.

[Image transcript: A dialogue box where Asgore says “Rudy... loved the holidays, you know.” End image transcript.]

This dialogue also strongly implies that Undertale’s universe has a counterpart for Noelle.

[Image transcript: Another dialogue box from Asgore. He says: “With a warm slice of fruitcake on the table. His youngest daughter peeking shyly from around the corner...” End image transcript]

Depending on how one interprets the Clamgirl NPC’s dialogue, there may or may not be an Undertale version of Susie (aka “Suzy”) too.

[Image transcript: Two Undertale screenshots side-by-side. In the left screenshot, Clamgirl tells Frisk: “Synchronicity...? My neighbor’s daughter looks about your age.” In the right screenshot her dialogue continues: “Her name is ‘Suzy.’ I feel like you two should be friends.” End image transcript.]

I’d argue that Everyman also had a “counterpart” in Undertale’s universe who lived as a monster in the Underground. Much like Rudy, the Underground’s Everyman likely grew old and eventually “fell down”. But unlike Rudy, Everyman was sent to the True Lab for the royal scientist’s soul experiments and became part of the Reaper Bird amalgamate.

This would fit with the pattern that we see with most other amalgamates, namely that they each seem to be made up of one named/noteworthy monster combined with several other generic monsters. The formula goes like this:

Lemon Bread = Shyra (Shyren’s Sister) + Aaron + Moldbygg

Endogeny = Muttler + various dog enemies

Snowdrake Mother = Crystal (Snowdrake’s Mom) + Vegetoids(?)

Reaper Bird = Everyman + Astigmatism + Whimsalot + Final Froggit

The Memoryheads seem to not “fit” with the other amalgamates, perhaps intentionally, so I’ll leave them out for now.

Long story short: Everyman was most likely a monster since he was part of an amalgamate and (as far as we know) amalgamates can only be made of monsters.

Why Everyman will have a bigger role in Deltarune

We see in Deltarune that three of the monsters who became amalgamates in Undertale have since passed away. This fits a trend I’ve noticed of Toby trying to “explain” the absence of characters who are prominent in one of his games but not the other.

The examples I cited above of Rudy, Noelle, and (possibly) Susie existing in Undertale’s universe also serve as “excuses” for where those characters were and why they were absent from the events of Undertale’s story. Rudy was dead and Noelle and “Suzy” were living with their families (presumably) in parts of the Underground where Frisk never ventured.

Shyra, Muttler, and Crystal are similarly “excused” from Deltarune’s story when the graveyard informs the player of their passing. Gerson is likewise excluded from Deltarune due to having passed away before the events of the game.

Conveniently, Everyman is not listed among the amalgamate monsters who have passed away in Hometown, and the alleyway graffiti implies he’s alive and well.

We know that Deltarune’s timeline and character ages don’t match up perfectly with Undertale’s—Deltarune Asriel is still alive and slightly older than Kris, who’s roughly the same age as DR Monster Kid. Conversely, Undertale Asriel died long before Frisk entered the Underground, yet Frisk is still seemingly in the same age bracket as UT Monster Kid (who’s barely younger than Asriel in Deltarune). Like Rudy, we can assume that Deltarune’s Everyman is younger than the Everyman who “fell down” in the Underground.

What will Everyman’s role be?

Remember when I said this was a two-part theory? Well, here’s the second half of my theory: Everyman is the Knight.

[Image transcript: A text box that says “Yes, you read that correctly.” End image transcript.]

Yes, the same Knight mentioned by Seam, Jevil, and the King of Spades. The same Knight who’s pulling new dark fountains out of the earth and who’s implied to be a major antagonist in the full game.

I could hedge my bets by saying Everyman is merely “connected” to the Knight, but if the Knight is a character we already know of then I think Everyman is the most likely candidate.

Let’s start with the name: Everyman’s sprites are titled “strangeman” in Undertale’s files. The very first mention we get of the Knight in Deltarune is Seam describing a “strange knight” who appeared, complete with red font for emphasis.

[Image transcript: Seam speaking inside of a shop, saying: “But, recently, a strange knight appeared... And three of the kings were locked away.” End image transcript.]

The word “strange” seems to be used selectively and very deliberately in Deltarune’s first chapter. Here’s a breakdown of all the times it’s used:

Seam referring to the knight

Seam referring to the Knight’s “strange son” (more on that later)

Telling Seam about Jevil (”Strange Prisoner”)

Seam referring to the “strange someone” that Jevil met

Seam mentioning the “strange words” Jevil said

Rouxls Kaard referring to Lancer (”a strange and irritating darling!”)

Narration before Kris seals the dark fountain (”You felt something strange.”)

Flavor text during the Jevil fight (”Kris gazed strangely”)

The Devilsknife/Jevilstail appearing in a “strange chest” outside of Jevil’s cell upon defeating him (this may be dummied out or only triggers if your inventory is full of weapons/armors and Jevil can’t give his item to you)

The description of the key to Jevil’s cell (”something feels strange about it”)

With the exception of the line from Rouxls Kaard, every instance of “strange” somehow connects to the Knight or Jevil. If the Knight is indeed the “strange someone” who Jevil met then the list tightens even further, to the point where all but one use of the word “strange” is associated with a single character and his handiwork—a very “strange man”, as it were. Speaking of Jevil...

Jevil’s connection to the Knight and Everyman

Jevil’s fight is one of two places where Everyman appears in Deltarune chapter 1. Not only that, but Everyman’s sprite only appears as a rare event during Jevil’s carousel attack, implying that his appearance is somehow significant.

Interestingly enough, the other two sprites that appear during this attack are one with a head that vaguely resembles Mysteryman (believed to be Gaster) and another with the head of a horse, a.k.a. the same as a knight piece on a chess board. It’s also worth pointing out that it’s rarer for the Everyman sprite to appear than it is for either of the other two sprites to appear.

We can also see the Everyman sprite represented in the official Chaos Revolving Keychain from Fangamer.

Jevil mentions the Knight once you defeat him, showing that he has knowledge of his existence.

[Image transcript: Jevil saying “THE HAND OF THE KNIGHT IS DRIFTING FORWARD.” End image transcript.]

This is interesting since Seam’s dialogue implies that Jevil was imprisoned well before the Knight overthrew the three kings at Card Castle. I can think of three possible explanations for this seeming timeline discrepancy:

Jevil is somehow intrinsically “aware” of things that go on outside of his cell

The Knight or someone else visited Jevil in jail to tell him about what happened with the three kings

The Knight is the same “strange someone” that Jevil met before he was locked up

The first explanation is the least likely, imo, due to Jevil asking who Kris, Ralsei, and Susie are when he first meets them.

[Image transcript: Two Deltarune screenshots side-by-side. In the left screenshot, Jevil is talking to the fun gang and he says: “BUT LO, THREE VISITORS STANDING INSIDE?” This continues in the right screenshot, where Jevil says: “WHO ARE YOU FEW?” End image transcript.]

If Jevil was aware of the outside world then he’d surely know of the fun gang’s antics by that point.

The second explanation doesn’t seem very likely either. Seam is the only character who acknowledges Jevil’s existence and we never see Seam visit Card Castle, even after the Spade King has been overthrown.

[Image transcript: Two Deltarune screenshots side-by-side. In the left screenshot, Jack Person tells the fun gang: “By the by, I asked Seam to come here, but...” Continuing onto the right screenshot, where Jack Person finishes by saying “There wasn’t any interest.” End image transcript.]

Jevil’s cell doesn’t seem to have any guards and it’s kept on its own floor, so that would rule out Jevil hearing about the knight from other prisoners.

If someone in the castle brings food to Jevil then he may have overheard it from them, but even that is speculative. Does Jevil even need to eat? He says his body “cannot be killed,” after all.

[Image transcript: Jevil saying “THIS BODY CANNOT BE KILLED!” End image transcript.]

And I’m not sure if the King of Spades would be so accommodating towards a dangerous prisoner.

That just leaves the third explanation, which seems the most likely to me. It’s also the tidiest explanation for how Jevil would be aware of both the Knight and Everyman—they’re the same person.

We can only speculate as to why the “strange someone” caused Jevil to run amok. If that strange someone was the Knight then I would assume that setting Jevil loose may have been his attempt to overthrow or destabilize Card Castle’s leadership. We know that the Knight eventually overthrew the three other kings himself, so that may have been his plan B after Jevil failed or he merely wished to remove Jevil as an obstacle. Either way, the Knight toppled the quadrumvirate and installed the Spade King as the protector of Card Castle’s dark fountain.

The Spade King’s clue

The Spade King is the closest ally of the Knight that we’ve seen so far. The exact nature of their relationship isn’t fully known, but the King’s words imply that he reveres and is loyal to the Knight.

[Image description: Four Deltarune screenshots arranged in a grid. In the top-left, the King of Spades says “By the Knight’s will, I shall shatter your heart to pieces!”. In the top-right, the King says “For the KNIGHT has appeared.” In the bottom-left, the King says “The KNIGHT that pulls the Fountains from the Earth.” In the bottom-right, the King says “My KNIGHT... I shall not fail you...” End image transcript.]

Both characters share an interest in maintaining the existence of dark fountains, given that the Knight has been said to create new fountains by pulling them up from the Earth.

Unlike Jevil, the Spade King’s attacks never make explicit reference to Everyman’s visage, but he does give a possible nod that many players have overlooked. When the Spade King is defeated, he makes a curious gesture by letting his cloak fly away like a butterfly.

While this may be a simple artistic flourish, I always found this moment to be odd and unfitting for a brutish character like the King. It’s also worth pointing out how the King’s cloak is clearly not a part of his body, unlike what’s implied with Lancer’s “clothes”.

[Image transcript: Two Deltarune screenshots side-by-side. In the left screenshot, the battle narration says: “You tell Lancer you can’t tell the difference between his clothes and his body.” The narration continues in the right screenshot, saying “He seems flattered... His ATTACK POWER went down!” End transcript.]

What if the King didn’t always have that butterfly-shaped cloak? Did someone give it to him? Think of where else we’ve seen butterfly motifs before.

At first blush, this seems obvious—the Reaper Bird is clearly made from the Core mercenaries, including Whimsalot. Whimsalot attacks with butterfly bullets, so that’s where Reaper Bird got them from, right? Case closed. Well, not so fast.

It turns out there are two different sets of butterfly bullets in Undertale’s game files, and Reaper Bird’s are different from Whimsalot’s.

[Image transcript: Two groups of butterfly bullet sprites. The left group is labeled “Whimsun / Whimsalot.” The right group is labeled “Reaper Bird”. End image transcript.]

Notice how Reaper Bird’s butterflies are smaller and have pointier, more symmetrical wings? While those differences could be chalked up to limited pixel resolution, it’s interesting how Toby went out of his way to create an entirely unique set of butterfly bullets for Reaper Bird when it arguably would have made more sense for him to recycle the Whimsun butterflies like he did for Whimsalot.

If you want to compare the sprites for yourself I suggest either looking at the game files directly or looking at an actual playthrough of Undertale. I’ve noticed that Spriter’s Resource mistakenly has Reaper Bird’s butterflies listed under Whimsun’s sprite sheet (which is a completely understandable mix-up).

To drive the point home, notice the string names that are used for these butterflies:

[Image transcript: An UTModTool window showing multiple named strings. Highlighted in red are six strings that each contain “obj_strangeman_butterfly” in their names. End image transcript.]

They’re “strangeman” butterflies. Not “amalgamate” or “Reaper Bird” butterflies (despite Reaper Bird having its own share of dedicated strings and named sprites), and they’re not “Whimsalot” butterflies either. Toby clearly delineates them as belonging to strangeman, a.k.a. Everyman, meaning that Everyman is specifically associated with butterfly imagery. The Spade King also makes use of butterfly imagery immediately after he mentions the Knight in his final turn.

Between the King and Jevil, this makes two characters that can be linked to both Everyman and the Knight.

Additional Evidence

Let’s circle back to Reaper Bird for a second. It’s commonly known that this amalgamate is made from Astigmatism, Final Froggit, and Whimsalot. To wit:

These enemies are part of the mercenary group that Mettaton hires to attack you in the Core. Have you ever noticed how out-of-place they seem? Almost every other set of enemies in the game is somehow themed around their environment — Snowdin enemies are ice creatures, Hotland enemies are fire/lava-themed, etc. These mercenaries are themed around medieval warfare and yet they show up in the Core, the most high-tech area in the entire Underground.

What’s even stranger is that this medieval theme seems to come out of nowhere. Astigmatism, Final Froggit, and Whimsalot act as “upgraded” versions of Loox, Froggit, and Whimsun, respectively. And yet their Ruins counterparts don’t have any medieval theming whatsoever—it was added purely for the mercenaries. For whatever reason they’re all dressed like a bunch of wizards and... knights.

[Image transcript: Two Undertale screenshots side-by-side. In the left screenshot, a Core NPC says “Why do I look like a black sausage and not a knight or a wizard?” This continues on the right, where it says “Well... Everyone has an angle they look best from.” End image transcript.]

That’s not my interpretation of their designs—the game outright calls them knights.

On the one hand, it’s true that Asgore’s royal guards also dress up like knights, but the Core mercenaries are explicitly not part of the royal guard—they’re mercenaries.

[Image transcript: Battle flavor text that states “Mercenaries emerge from the shadows.” End image transcript.]

Assuming that Asgore has a dress code for his guards or is just old-fashioned in his sensibilities, there’s still no reason why fighters outside of the guard should follow their standard. Even some of the royal sentries don’t follow this theming, as seen with Doggo and Sans (who’s technically a sentry):

With the abundance of knight-themed royal guard and sentry enemies that exist already, Toby could’ve easily designed the Core Mercenaries to more accurately fit with the Core’s futuristic theme. Doesn’t it seem a little too coincidental that Everyman would wind up as part of the same amalgamate as these otherwise out-of-place knights?

When we look at the other amalgamates, we can see that Lemon Bread (a.k.a. Shyren’s sister) is made up of Waterfall enemies. Endogeny is made up entirely of dog-based enemies. These two amalgamates each have a “theme” for their component monsters that fits the “main” named monster they’re each made of, and Reaper Bird has a clear theme of its own. Why would Everyman be paired with a bunch of knights if he was not connected to them in some way?

Even the Undertale artbook groups Everyman’s concept art with the Core Mercenaries, specifically the ones that look the most like knights and wizards in-game. The book also repeats the name “Everyman” and Toby’s cryptic phrase of “Just a good guy who shows up on occasion.”

Perhaps Everyman knew the Core mercenaries when he was alive? Were they his fellow knights? Or did they work for him before he fell down and they had to then lend their services elsewhere?

“The Knight? Seriously?”

Some of you may be shaking your heads dismissively at the idea of Everyman being the Knight (or you more likely clicked over to another tab by now). I mean, just look at the guy:

What part of this design makes you think “knight”, let alone THE Knight? Well, Seam does refer to the Knight as a “strange” knight, and Everyman certainly fits that bill. But more importantly, we haven’t seen an actual overworld sprite for Everyman yet—we’ve only seen some graffiti and a couple of magic bullet attacks, which are always abstract and simplified.

Not pictured: Froggit, Migosp, Temmie, Moldbygg, Tsunderplane, Mettaton, or Endogeny.

Everyman’s “proper” design would almost certainly differ from his Pillsbury Doughboy-esque bullet sprite, especially if he’s wearing a cloak or a suit of armor. And even if his design doesn’t differ that much, so what? It’s not like this series has ever had an opponent that looks goofy or non-threatening, right?

Another little tidbit I noticed: one of Reaper Bird’s attacks consists of Everyman repeatedly removing his own head.

Or maybe it’s not his head? Perhaps it’s a helmet? Like one that a knight would wear? After all, it’s not unheard of for helmets to have beak-like protrusions.

And this is a series where helmets can come in any shape or size to better fit the needs of the wearer.

Just some food for thought.

The Gaster connection

It’s time to address the elephant in the room: “Isn’t Gaster supposed to be the Knight?” If you haven’t heard by now, this is one of the prevailing theories in the fandom. To be honest, if the Knight ends up not being Everyman then Gaster is the next-best candidate, imo, but these two theories don’t have to be mutually-exclusive. I think a case can be made that Everyman and Gaster are connected in some way.

Let me say up front that this section is highly speculative (unlike the previous sections, which clearly aren’t the least bit speculative). We’re dealing with two super-obscure characters who’ve yet to make a proper on-screen appearance in either game. It’s already hard enough to figure out how either of them connect to the broader Undertale universe, let alone to each other, but I’ll give it a shot.

For starters, we can affirm that both Gaster and Everyman are linked to the True Lab. There’s no shortage of fan theories and speculation on Gaster’s prior usage of the True Lab in his own experiments and I won’t get into all that here, but suffice it to say the True Lab has Gaster’s name written all over it.

(Am I the only one who thinks the DT Extractor looks more like Everyman’s head than it does a Gaster Blaster? Forget I said anything.)

We’ve covered how Everyman appears as one of Reaper Bird’s attacks. Interestingly, the amalgamate Memoryhead has an attack that resembles the head of Mysteryman, the figure believed to be Gaster (which I’ll assume here for simplicity’s sake).

If we follow the logic of my prior “Everyman is the named/important monster that makes up Reaper Bird, fitting the pattern of other amalgamates” argument, then Gaster (or pieces of him) could fill the same role for the Memoryheads.

Everyman and Gaster’s sprites both have the suffix of “man” in Undertale’s game files. Here are all the sprites that use this same naming scheme:

strangeman - Everyman

mysteryman - “Gaster”

snowman - gives you the snowman piece

riverman - a.k.a. River Person

darkman - the shadowy overworld sprites used for the Core Mercenaries

watchingman - The spoon-shaped amalgamate that tucks Frisk into bed

The snowman’s inclusion is a bit of a fluke, because what else would you call a snowman without using “man” in the name? If we exclude the snowman, each instance of “man” represents a mysterious figure that ties back to Everyman and/or Gaster.

We’ve already covered the connection between Everyman and the Core Mercenaries, and it’s easy to connect the “watchingman” amalgamate with the True Lab. River Person is also frequently linked to Gaster in fan theories (and they allude to “the man from the other world” and “the man who speaks in hands”), so what we’re left with is a close-knit community of strange, mysterious "man”s.

This naming scheme looks very intentional on Toby’s part, and he seems to be continuing it in Deltarune by referring to the secret unseen NPC who gives you the egg behind the tree in Scarlet Forest as simply “a man.”

[Image transcript: Narration from the secret egg room. The text box states: “(Well, there is a man here.)” End image transcript]

The Knight’s “Strange Son”?

Remember when I said I’d get back to the Knight’s “strange son”? That’s now. I’m a little iffy on this topic because it involves stacking a whole ton of assumptions onto a single line of dialogue that’s phrased in an ambiguous way. But, if it means what I think it means, it could shed a ton of light on Everyman’s possible connection to Gaster and whether either of them are the Knight.

When you ask Seam about the “Kingdom”, Seam says this:

[Image transcript: Three of Seam’s text boxes arranged vertically. In order, they read: “Historically, this land was ruled by the Four Kings, from CARD CASTLE to the East. But, recently, a strange knight appeared... And three of the kings were locked away. The remaining king put him and his strange son into power.” End image transcript]

Let’s focus on that last sentence. On my first playthrough I misread this line as “the knight put the king and his strange son into power” because that sounds a lot closer to the events that happened—the Spade King and his “strange son” Lancer are in power now because the three kings were locked away, presumably by the Knight.

But the actual text states the opposite—the remaining king (Spade King) put him (the Knight) and his strange son (i.e., the Knight’s son) into power. Or does it? The line could also read as—the remaining king (Spade King) put him (the Knight) and his (the King’s) strange son (Lancer) into power. The second way is  awkwardly-structured but technically valid. And this is assuming that Toby didn’t make any grammatical errors when he typed these lines, which he has done on occasion.

[Image transcript: A dialogue box where Dr. Alphys says “I felt so guilty knowing I hadn’t do anything to stop you.” End image transcript.]

Not to be too hard on Toby, but even if Seam’s line is grammatically correct it’s still clunky and murky in its conception—at this point in the game we’ve only just been introduced to Lancer and the fact that his dad is the King, and now this line is potentially introducing yet another father/son duo that is closely connected with Lancer’s dad—is it any wonder that this line is often glossed over by fans?

The second reading, where Lancer is the “strange son,” is also awkward because the Spade King would have little need to put Lancer “into power”. Lancer was already a prince and, presumably, already wielded power in that role. Various NPCs make reference to Lancer bossing them around, and such a thing could’ve easily happened before the three kings were deposed.

If we take Seam’s line with the first reading (where the Knight has a “strange son”) and assume there were no grammatical errors, then this is the only time in chapter 1 that the Knight is ever referred to as having a son. It’s also the only time that the Knight is addressed with pronouns, implying that the Knight is male. If true, this would rule out the theory that Kris (or any potential alter ego that Kris has) is the knight, since Kris is neither male nor do they have a son. This would also rule out Susie, who’s never been a popular contender for being the Knight but is referred to as a “dark knight” on her stats page.

Who made who?

So then, who’s male, widely believed to be the Knight, and is often depicted as having one or more sons?

This (alleged) guy!

“But wait,” you might ask, “isn’t your theory that Everyman is the Knight?” Well, the Knight and his “strange son” seem to be working as a duo in the scenario that Seam outlines, given that the Spade King put both of them “into power.”

Because of Everyman’s connections to the Knight that I’ve laid out, plus the more popular theory that Gaster is the Knight, it’s possible that one may be the Knight and the other may be the Knight’s “strange son.” The way I see it, it doesn’t make a huge difference which one is which.

Now, I don’t think that Gaster and Everyman would be father and son in the strict biological sense. There are a number of reasons for this, but for starters I’m not even sure if Everyman and Gaster are the same species. My inclination is that Everyman is a monster, while Gaster may be a darkner. The latter is mostly my own guess and springboards off of a popular theory that Sans is a darkner, but it’s a whole other can of worms that I won’t get into now.

More importantly, Gaster is strongly implied to have some sort of connection to Sans and Papyrus. All three of them are also connected with special fonts that they each use. As far as I can tell, there’s no widely-used font by the name of “Everyman”, so this would imply that Everyman is not a skeleton and therefore not biologically related to them. However, there’s more than one way to start a family.

Gaster was the royal scientist in Undertale’s universe and it’s not out of the realm of possibility that he (or his potential Deltarune counterpart) could find the means to create life forms artificially.

[Image transcript: The vessel creation scene from Deltarune. The on-screen text says “YOU HAVE CREATED A WONDERFUL FORM.” End image transcript.]

Everyman could be a creation of Gaster’s and thus he’d be Gaster’s “son”.

There’s also another possibility: Everyman is Gaster’s creator. We know that the Knight is pulling new dark fountains out of the Earth. I think the Knight, regardless of who they are, must be able to survive without a dark fountain to give their body form, otherwise they wouldn’t be able to venture into areas where new fountains have yet to be pulled up. The Knight is almost certainly a lightner, and I’ve already detailed why I think Everyman is a lightner as well.

We don’t fully understand how dark fountains interact with darkners, but it’s stated multiple times that dark fountains “give form” to the Dark World.

[Image transcript: Two Deltarune screenshots side-by-side. In the left screenshot, Ralsei’s narration says “Today the FOUNTAIN OF DARKNESS-” and continues into the right screenshot, saying: “The geyser that gives this land form-” End image transcript.]

In the dummied-out manual pages, Ralsei also mentions how his dark fountain gives his body form.

[Image transcript: Ralsei’s manual excerpt, whic says “Dedicated to The unending pillar of darkness that gives my body form.” End image transcript]

Darkners need dark fountains in order to maintain their forms. They may not even be able to survive at all without them. From this point of view, when the Knight creates new dark fountains he’s bringing new darkners to life. If Gaster is a darkner himself, then it’s not unthinkable to imagine that Everyman may have brought him to life in this way and could thus be called his “father”. Seam does refer to lightners as the “creators” of darkners, after all.

[Image transcript: Seam’s dialogue box saying “They were like Gods to us. Our protectors. Our creators. Those who gave us purpose...” End image transcript.]

Ultimately the question of who’s the father and who’s the son is purely speculative. We don’t even know for sure if the Knight has a son, let alone whether it’s Everyman, Gaster, or someone else entirely. It’s very much a “the chicken or the egg?” kind of question.

[Image transcript: Two images. The right is a screenshot of the egg room with narration stating “(You received an Egg)”. End image transcript.]

Hmm...

“Seriously, who is Everyman?”

Let’s bring this home with the question we started with: Who is Everyman? I’ve gone into evidence that he existed as an actual person in Undertale and will likely play a role in Deltarune, but this doesn’t tell us much about the kind of character he is. We don’t even know if “Everyman” is his real name.

If Everyman is indeed a prominent character in Deltarune then there are two possibilities: 1.) he’s a brand new character we’ve never met before, or 2.) he’s someone that we have met before. The first option, while a strong possibility, doesn’t leave us with much to talk about, so let’s look at the second.

Right out the gate I can confidently say that Everyman is not a character that we talked to or had significant interaction with in Undertale. The obvious reason is that he was busy being stuck inside Reaper Bird and he couldn’t have been in two places at once (as far as we know). This means that Everyman would have to be a character introduced in Deltarune chapter 1.

I’ve said before that I believe Everyman is a lightner, so this would rule out any dark world characters. That leaves us with the residents of Hometown who didn’t have direct counterparts in Undertale’s story.

After careful consideration I’ve narrowed the field to two suspects:

Father Alvin

Father Alvin has always struck me as an oddity. He seems like an important member of Hometown’s community, and yet none of the other residents ever talk about him. He’s also conspicuously absent from Undertale’s universe.

The most notable thing about Father Alvin is that his church seems to worship “the Angel”.

[Image transcript: Father Alvin saying “Let the Angel’s power light your way.” End image transcript.]

Ralsei’s prophecy states that the three heroes must seal the dark fountains in order to banish the “Angel’s Heaven.”

[Image transcript: Two Deltaunre screenshots side-by-side. In the left screenshot, Ralsei’s narration says “Only they can seal the fountains.” The right screenshot continues, saying: “And banish the ANGEL’S HEAVEN.” End image transcript.]

This would put the heroes at odds with both the Knight (who’s creating fountains) and whoever is serving this Angel. We can only speculate on the Knight’s motives, but what if he’s acting in service to the Angel?

Something that isn’t brought up much in the fandom is the religious reverence that darkners give to their fountains. The King of Spades refers to the fountains that the Knight creates as “holy” fountains.

[Image transcript: Two Deltarune screenshots side-by-side. In the left screenshot, the King of Spades says “Holy Fountains, whose shadows are creating a new world...” The right screenshot continues, saying “OUR world.” End image transcript.]

The soundtrack that plays at the Fountain is called “The Holy.” Dark fountains can seemingly create life, so it’s easy to imagine the Knight viewing his own mission as some sort of holy rite.

As far as evidence goes for Alvin being Everyman/the Knight, the biggest clue is the drawing signed by Alvin that shows up in the supply closet at the end of chapter 1.

Every other object in the closet represents a part of the dark world that Kris and Susie visited, and yet at no point do they encounter a dark world manifestation of this drawing. We know that the Knight visited Card Castle previously, so this drawing could be meant to represent the Knight’s presence in that part of the dark world.

It’s also worth noting how most of the closet’s toys are arranged from left to right in the order that Kris and Susie encountered them on their journey. Alvin’s drawing is on the far right, just past the open cabinet drawer (i.e., Card Castle), implying that Alvin’s drawing was either at the fountain or that it was effectively the “next” thing that Kris and Susie would’ve encountered if they had stayed.

It’s hard to make out what the drawing could be beyond being a “poorly-drawn picture of a green turtle”, as the flavor text explains. Could it be Everyman? Or is it just a reference to Bold and Brash? Both? Neither? The world may never know. Or it may know when the full game comes out.

Can I also add how strange it is that Alvin’s drawing is in the closet to begin with? Alvin looks to be a pretty old dude, so why would his drawing still be in a school that he no longer attends? I don’t have an answer, I just think it’s weird.

Other clues that could point to Alvin being Everyman are that he is, scientifically speaking, old-looking, which would line up with my hypothesis of Undertale’s Everyman being an older monster who fell down before becoming Reaper Bird.

Alvin also vaguely resembles Everyman as far as their proportions are concerned.

It’s by no means a perfect match, especially if we factor in Alvin’s shell, but both characters possess a round head with some sort of beak or proboscis.

If Everyman actually is Father Alvin, then the title “Everyman” could be a reference to The Summoning of Everyman, a 15th-century religious morality play. I won’t get into the specifics here, but the play focuses on a character named Everyman who must prepare for his inevitable death and judgment for his deeds in life. I don’t really know how much that would tie into Deltarune’s themes or if it’s even a deliberate reference to begin with, so make of it what you will.

Father Alvin was the first character that I suspected of being Everyman when I started writing this theory, but there’s one major sticking point that prevents me from fully embracing the idea: the fact that he lacks a character portrait for his dialogue boxes.

This may seem like a minor nitpick, but dialogue portraits indicate when a character is important to the story, and it would be a pretty big oversight on Toby’s part if a (presumably) recurring antagonist wasn’t given a portrait. Even a three-scene wonder like Rouxls Kaard was given a portrait.

It’s true that recurring characters like Napstablook and Monster Kid weren’t given portraits in Undertale...

But Deltarune has greatly expanded the number of characters with portraits this time around, and we can already infer that Noelle (who had a portrait in chapter 1) will be an important character going forward:

Given Alvin’s limited dialogue in chapter 1 and his lack of a portrait, I’m more inclined to believe that he’ll end up being a minor character, in which case he’d almost certainly not be the Knight (and therefore not Everyman). But who knows, maybe Toby will give him a portrait in the full game.

Thankfully, we have another candidate who might be Everyman:

The Ice-E’s Employees

You think I’m joking? Trust me, you’ll know when I’m joking.

I didn’t initially make the connection between Ice-E’s and Everyman until I saw a post from @curioscurio​ that pointed me in that direction.

Let’s go back to the Everyman graffiti that appears in Hometown.

Notice how the drawing right next to it resembles Ice-E’s head? I can’t believe this was staring me in the face the whole time and I never realized the connection.

Another point in favor of the Ice-E’s workers is that we don’t even know what two of them look like. We know that Burgerpants is one, and another is implied to be the Nice Cream Bunny that we met in Undertale.

[Image transcript: Two Deltarune screenshots side-by-side. In the left screenshot, the Ice-E’s employee says “Psst, can I tell you a mascot secret? I only started working here because...” The right screenshot continues, saying “The logo made me think it was an ice-cream shop...” End image transcript.]

But this still leaves the “purple guy” and “The Warrior”, who remain in full costume for chapter 1, meaning that one of them could resemble Everyman underneath their mask.

Speaking of The Warrior, he certainly fits the bill as being “strange.” His title wouldn’t be out of place among the likes of The Knight, and his dialogue refers to the hospital’s medical staff as “white wizards”, which fits with the medieval theming that’s associated with Everyman’s mercenary cohorts in Undertale.

[Image transcript: Two Deltarune screenshots side-by-side. In the left screenshot, the Warrior says “This castle’s WHITE WIZARDs relegated me to this HEALING CHAMBER...” The right screenshot continues, saying “But my BLOOD is BOILING FOR BATTLE!!!” End image transcript.]

Speaking of the Core Mercenaries, here’s an interesting tidbit:

[Image transcript: Two Undertale screenshots side-by-side. In the left screenshot, a Core NPC says “As a youth, I would sneak out to play by this creepy flaming pit.” The right screenshot continues, saying “Since the CORE is always re-arranging, it was like a game trying to find it.” End image transcript.]

I used to assume that the Core Mercenaries were older monsters who fought in the human-monster war, which would explain their insistence on dressing up as old-timey knights and wizards. However, these lines of dialogue imply that the Mercenaries are far younger—young enough to visit the Core when they were kids.

So why would a bunch of younger monsters dress up like old-school knights and wizards? Simple: they’re LARPers. This would explain why their more casual overworld dialogue doesn’t match their overly-serious battle dialogue whatsoever—the battle is over and, thus, so is the act.

What does this have to do with Ice-E’s? Simple. The Warrior is also a LARPer. But he takes it a step further and never lets the act slip. According to Burgerpants, he terrorizes customers with war chants during his day job, and we see him keeping up the act while he’s injured in the hospital. It’s clear that he’s living in a fantasy world, and someone like that would have every reason to spend time in a strange dark world that “seems like” fantasy.

[Image transcript: Lyrics from Deltarune’s credits theme. It says: “And the places that you know seem like fantasy”. End image transcript.]

Someone like him could grow attached to such a place and want to see it spread as far and wide as possible, with no regard for how it would affect the boring “real world”. All he’d need to do is create new dark fountains to sustain this fantasy world.

I also find it interesting that The Warrior is in the hospital during chapter 1. Burgerpants claims that this is the result of “pizza-related injuries.”

[Image transcript: Two dialogue boxes from Burgerpants. Read from top to bottom, it says “The Warrior - Thankfully absent due to pizza-related injuries. Constantly terrorizing customers with war chants.” End image transcript.]

But what if there was another reason? We can see signs of “some kind of struggle” in the King of Spade’s throne room, complete with tattered wall banners.

[Image transcript: Narration in the Spade King’s throne room. The text box says “(Wall banners. They seem to have been through some kind of struggle...)” End image transcript.]

What if the Knight sustained injuries when he overthrew the three kings and had to go to the hospital afterwards? A “struggle” implies that there was some resistance involved.

Another interesting coincidence is that the previews for Deltarune Chapter 2 strongly imply that it will take place in a dark world that forms in the hospital.

Earlier previews have also implied that Noelle will have a larger role in Chapter 2, and she’d have every reason to be in the hospital visiting her father when things hit the fan.

It feels awfully convenient that a new dark world springs up right in the spot where the Warrior is. I wouldn’t be surprised if chapter 2 gives us our first glimpse of the Knight in person, and what better way than a surprise run-in with the Warrior?

Some of you may be asking why I’d suggest a minor character like The Warrior might be the Knight when he has a single line of dialogue and no dialogue portrait? Simple: characters tend not to have portraits when their face is hidden from view. We see this with Undyne in Undertale:

She doesn’t gain a dialogue portrait until after she removes her helmet. This is also true of Burgerpants in Deltarune.

So, unlike Father Alvin, The Warrior has an excuse for not having a dialogue portrait yet. While Father Alvin has some compelling evidence supporting him being the Knight/Everyman, The Warrior has no major counter-argument that I can think of (unlike Father “no portrait” Alvin), so I give The Warrior the edge as far as Everyman suspects go.

I’d also like point out that if Gaster ends up not being the Knight or the Knight’s “Strange Son,” then we could get a two-for-one deal of Father Alvin as the Knight and The Warrior as his strange son. Definitely not the most likely outcome, but technically possible! I’d imagine those two would have a hilariously awkward dynamic if they were related.

Closing Summary

Wow, this post went on for a while! Let’s summarize what we’ve learned today.

Everyman (in Undertale)

Was likely a monster who “fell down”

Became part of the Reaper Bird Amalgamate

Likely knew the Core Mercenaries

Is connected to butterfly imagery

Described as “strange”

May or may not have looked like his bullet sprite

May or may not have been connected to “mysteryman”/Gaster

May or may not have been connected to the River Person

Everyman (in Deltarune)

Is alive and active

Is known to both lightners and darkners

Can most likely travel between the light and dark worlds

Is known of by Jevil

May or may not resemble his Undertale bullet sprite

May or may not be connected to “mysteryman”/Gaster

May or may not be Father Alvin

May or may not be an Ice-E’s employee

May or may not be the Knight or the Knight’s “strange son”

The Knight

Described as “strange”

Is pulling up new dark fountains from the Earth

Has been to the dark world

Is possibly a lightner/monster

Is connected to the Spade King, who uses butterfly imagery

Overthrew the other three kings at Card Castle

Is known of by Jevil and Seam

May or may not be Everyman

May or may not be “mysteryman”/Gaster

May or may not be the “strange someone” who changed Jevil

Likely male

Likely has a “strange son”

Everyman and the Knight (similarities)

Both are likely monsters

Both are alive and active in Deltarune’s world

Both are (presumably) male

Both have a presence in the dark world

Both are known by Jevil and may have met him previously

Both are associated with butterfly imagery to some degree

Both are connected to knight imagery

Both are described as “strange”

Both may be connected to “mysteryman”/Gaster

Both are foreshadowed in Deltarune chapter 1

Final Conclusions

So what do I really think? I’m reminded of Undertale’s original Kickstarter demo and how much of the full game’s story was left out of it. Right now we’re in a similar situation with Deltarune. I can’t view any of my theories with certainty because at the end of the day I have no idea what Toby’s going to write for the full game, but I can guess.

If I had to put a number to it, I’d say the odds of Everyman making further appearances in Deltarune is 95% and the odds of him being the Knight is about 66%. There’s always the possibility that Gaster will usurp the title of Knight and leave Everyman as the Knight’s “strange son” or as the far less illustrious role of “no one particularly important”.

If Everyman is in the game, I’d give 50/50 odds that he’s one of the Ice-E’s employees, mainly due to the Warrior’s situation lining up well with Chapter 2′s (likely) setting. I’d then give a 25% chance it’s Father Alvin and the remaining 25% as “anyone else”.

Thanks for reading all of this (or skipping to the end). I’ve seen hardly anyone talk about our favorite strange little man and I just wanted to get the word about him out there. Even if you don’t agree with my conclusions, I’m happy to (hopefully) ignite further discussion over this often-overlooked character.

For now I’ve said all that I can say on the topic. All we can do is wait and see what happens. Fingers crossed.

Special thanks to @curioscurio​ for inspiring me to make this post in the first place.

Date published: December 10th, 2020

[scuttle-buttle]

Chapter 2

WC: 1728

Rated: E

Chapter Tags: mentions of sexual themes, alcohol consumption, past relationships

🧠

You and Laszlo had easily fallen back in your work routine during the first week back. His course load was almost identical to that of the previous semester, and so he didn't mandate that you come to classes like he had during the fall. Even so, you insisted on attending like usual.

Taking your seat at the back of the lecture hall you watched as he moved around the front while he spoke. You were supposed to be sorting through the information cards the students had filled out. Not much was actually getting done, as you were highly distracted. His right hand typically found home in his trouser pocket so as not to draw attention. But his left? You licked your lips. Of course you loved both of his hands, but with his favoring the left side you developed a certain affinity for the limb. Oh what his hand was capable of, you reminisced.

Your sigh must have been louder than you anticipated, as Laszlo’s eyes snapped in your direction. “Perhaps if you are bored you should keep your noises of displeasure to yourself,” he said with a quirk of his brow. His face held a look of annoyance, but his eyes told you otherwise. He knew exactly what you were thinking about based on the sound you made and it amused him to no end. You knew he meant nothing by the harsh statement. He did so to maintain his staunch reputation in front of the class.

Biting your lip you issued a “sorry, professor.” Even from across the room you could see the brief flicker of heat in his eyes at your 'apology'. To everyone else the encounter would probably leave them shitting themselves, but you knew better. Even a small success such as this was to be celebrated in your mind.

You had been hoping that you could push Laszlo to be a bit rougher with you sometimes. He would often restrain himself when you were intimate, but you had an inkling that underneath he was just itching to let go. By no means were you ever left unsatisfied, he made damn sure of that. You wanted to kick things up a notch; you wanted to see what he was capable of.

He cleared his throat. Picking up where he left off, he began “as you can see, within psychology there is no single truth. No one theory that can fully or definitively explain who we are, why we are, or what becomes of us. That is why we must always ask of ourselves the purpose of our nature and our choices. This term will be a glimpse of seeking answers to our questions. In the meantime - you have a quiz on Monday for the parts of the brain and their functions. Do not be late or come with excuses, I do not give makeups often, if ever. Have a nice weekend.”

With that the young underclassmen all shuffled out to go spend their weekend most likely partying, rather than studying. You really couldn’t blame them, as this section of Introductory Psychology was in the late afternoon. As an undergrad you would have probably done the same on a Friday night.

Both you and Laszlo packed up your things from your respective areas of the room. Once the last student was gone he called out to you. “Sara and John want to meet up this evening, would you like to accompany them or do you have plans?”

“Will you be there too, or are you too busy with paperwork and stuff?” He had been complaining of having a list to work through this week with some new documentation requirement the university put out on the professors. You trek down the stairs to meet him by the front desk.

“I think it would be odd of me to invite you out in the event that I would not be there myself,” he quips back. His hand comes to rest on your side.

You hum in response. “I feel like I haven’t seen you all week.”

He chuckles at you, “you’ve spent every day with me.”

“You know what I mean.” Peering around to ensure no one was present, you lean up to give him a quick kiss. “What time do they want us there?”

He checks his phone for the text from John. “In half an hour.”

“Then we better get going before he hogs all the pretzels,” you crack.

The two of you made your way from the university to the old pub a few blocks down the road. Students didn’t come here often, as it was geared towards the older and less rowdy crowd. It was perfect for the four of you though. You had even gotten on with the owner, Cyrus, and his niece Joanna, who often worked the bar.

You sat in the booth next to Laszlo; Sara and John opposite you. The first 45 minutes or so were spent going over the events of the past week back. Eventually, the conversation slowed.

“I think I should get us another round. What do you say?” Sara asked the table. You slid out from your side offering to give her a hand with collecting the new beverages. Laszlo watched as you walked alongside her to the bar, laughing at something Cyrus had said to you. You always looked so beautiful when you were laughing.

“So…” John began, getting his attention. Laszlo turned to face his friend. “I heard a rumor.”

“You know I don’t put credence into such things, out with it John.” Clearly whatever he wanted to discuss he didn’t wish to say in front of your presence. Despite his words Laszlo did have some trepidation about the upcoming conversation. Could it be about you? Maybe you two weren’t being delicate enough with keeping the relationship subtle?

John looks over to the bar where you and Sara are still procuring the drinks. “Karen is in town.”

He relaxed at the turn of events. “Ah, yes. She is guest lecturing at the university while she conducts research of some kind in the city.” Laszlo is matter-of-fact in his response.

John studies him for a minute. He looks concerned. “It’s been what, four years since you last saw her? Or have you seen her yet?”

“I have not. Why do you ask?” He brings the near empty glass to his lips to take a sip of the harsh liquid.

“Well, Laszlo, I just mean that you two were serious for a long time before you moved out here. In fact I had figured you would settle down with her. You left her in Austria to come here, after all,” he explains quietly.

Laszlo cocks his head in confusion. “I don’t see how that would be a concern. The dissolution of our relationship was mutual - she stayed in Vienna; I came to New York. We did not want the strain of attempting something long distance and we both came to the same conclusion on the matter. And it has been four years, John, as you so kindly reminded me. I have moved on and I am quite content now.” His tone was nonchalant.

He is happy. You were vibrant, and thoughtful, and he couldn’t say that he had felt this lighthearted in years. His years with Karen were wonderful, but in truth they didn’t compare to what he had now with you. For once he felt hopeful for what the future with you could bring. It wasn’t as strong a consideration with Karen.

John holds up his hands as if to defend his words. “I’m glad for that, truly. She’s wonderful for you and I can see that. I just worry that Karen’s presence might cause a resurgence of emotions or whatnot with you. Sara and I would hate to see things fall apart for the two of you after everything,” he gestures towards where you stand with her. “Are you going to tell her about Karen?”

Laszlo nods in understanding. “I appreciate the concern, John. But I assure you, I view Karen strictly in professional terms now. I look forward to hearing about her studies here as they could be illuminating for my courses.” He sees movement from you and Sara as you begin your return. “I do not see myself withholding information regarding my past with Karen, but I don’t know that I find it necessary to bring it up as of yet.” John’s nod is faint, as though he disagrees but isn't willing to say so. The conversation is cut short by you setting drinks on the table.

You all stay another hour at the bar. Laszlo’s thigh rests against you, his right hand atop your own leg. Occasionally you can feel the way his thumb lightly strokes you through your jeans. He makes it hard to pay attention to what Sara is saying to the group; little bolts of lightning shoot up your leg and to your core. When your legs clench Laszlo doesn’t seem to notice.

Aside from the growing arousal within you, the soft clink of the index finger of his left hand grabs your attention. A steady tap tap tap as he hits the side of his whisky glass. The movement brings you back to your thoughts during his lecture earlier, how the thick digits with their calloused tips drive you absolutely mad when they brush against your skin. You swallow.

This time Laszlo is aware of your state. His eyes shift to you from where he sits to your left. The two of you hadn’t had time or energy to be intimate since that night he took you to Delmonicos. The lack has taken its toll as you give him that look.

Abruptly Laszlo faces the others. “I would hate to cut our evening short, but I have more paperwork to fill out by Monday for the Dean. I would rather get it done so that I may enjoy my weekend. John, Sara.” He nods his farewell as he nudges for you to move out of the booth. You hold back your giggle at his insistent need to get home.

John looks slightly confused with the suddenness of your departure. A look of understanding comes over him with a whisper from a smirking Sara. With a wave the two of you leave into the cold January night.

Tag list

@hardlyinteresting @lorna-d-m @livvyshmiv @somethingthatsaysbubbles @greeneyedblondie44 @unbeatablecurlgirl @apparrio @marchingicenotes7 @anteroom-of-death @bruhidaniel @lemairepstuff @thehuiabird @zemosimp05 @alindeluce @iamnotthecatladynextdoor @laura-naruto-fan1998 @trelaney @boneheadduluc @i-am-dead-inside-666 @fictionlandslanddreams @thatoneartgalsstuff @hb8301 @fandom-princess-forevermore @foggycandywitch @creme-bruhlee @andy-rocks

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. yeah hasnt rs only had maybe two-three months off in nearly 4 years? even if she doesnt do most of the work (tho she seems to be working the week of, which is also bad) theres no way thats healthy both for herself and team to be working under. i realize maybe shes not confident her popularity would sustain a break, but that is no reason to work herself and her team to death, especially if it can be used to pressure the other original creators to do the same when they have less help than her TBH.

2. Y’all don’t understand persphone represents every thing in this story. She’s the moon sun beauty intelligent music medicine spring fertility fire ice just everything. She’s stronger than everyone and would use her powers if it wasn’t her stinky mom’s fault for not letting her have more freedom with other gods/goddesses >:(this is joke lol)

3. I think RS should have had some episodic plots to build on her characters more before deep diving into trials and everything else. Like Sex and the City, spoilers Mr. Big appears in the first episode and Carrie ends up with him, but the show lasts for 6 seasons and 2 movies. Like I think Persphone should have had some smaller plots to solve and maybe expand other characters to really build up her skills. Show not just tell.

Like she’s a swimmer, maybe her and Artemis have a beach episode and Daphne there too old friends and new friends, first Artemis and Daphne Dont just click but since they’re both athletic and persphone too persphone kinda shows what they can bond over and maybe they even have some healthy competition. That would be good to show that persphone can work with people without it having to deal with complicated feelings (aka hades and crushes)

Like I feel like since it’s more on persphone kinda right now we should see more of her life as a 20 year old, making new friends and having old ones meet, having a job and class and just feeling dead tired but still forcing yourself to hang out. Spring break. Study groups. Getting passive aggressive because your roommate doesn’t clean up. Going home for the weekend and doing nothing. Have those emotional moments where you feel incredibly jealous or something but holding it in because it’s fine. I felt like instead of having Persphone be everyone’s crush, there should have been some short plots where she tries to not think about hades since he’s with Minthe and see other men before she goes to hades. Honestly would have been more interest to see Zeus find persphone himself than have her hide at Hades place in paradise.

Like I know that would be way too long but I don’t see RS writing an ending. And it’s too late. And the mythology has persphone and hades end up married, but like I would have loved to see persphone grow into her own person more than have this “romance” speedrun.

4. im probably looking too into this, but does it seem rachel's instagram is kinda dropping off in interaction from her fans? a few months ago easily everything would break 50k+ likes (which w/ her amount of followers thats not a great ratio, but w/e) and her big post showing off the lo book had 70k+ likes, but now her most recent ones about it dont even break 20k, some come in way under that. even her post showing off the extra hera chapter is super low. thats just odd for me to see.

5. I was at B&N today and saw the LO book on display (in the cafe, weirdly enough) and I flipped through to the Hera chapter and ugh, it's bad. It's the same rushed style as current LO (which makes it stick out like a sore thumb compared to the more lively early stuff in the actual book) and it was just using Hera to push the couple, with perhaps the most boring wedding panel I've ever seen. It has no effort put into what should've been a big™️ moment. Def not worth the $40+ price it was marked.

6. even I will admit, if I had no idea what LO was at least the first cover of Vol. 1 is eye catching. But Vol 2 is so generic and boring that I'm honestly confused over it?? It's not even formatted right? Like Rachel's name looks like the title, the composition is throw off way too much to one side, there's too much empty space, and the actual tile is cramped into the corner and covers half of Hades anyway. Like how did even that get such a downgrade in only one book? I don't understand 💀

7. imagine opening the lo book and seeing how unique it starts out, only to get to the extra chapter and it looks completely different with that unique look gone and it looks weirdly rushed and contradicts with the earlier chapters you just read. why would she do that.

8. i think rachel thinks having all these flashbacks helps fill in plot holes and gaps, but it just ends up complicating everything and contradictory? like hermes says she is this confident goddess, but then shes not by the start of the story. hades says thanatos also benefitted from nepotism but it just looks like hades neglected the poor kid. she completely retconned hades picking the underworld to have him forced into it, but the also closing it again with the pom? its just bad writing.

9. i still do not get how rachel's genius character design for the literal gods was just ... one color each, often not even aligning to their character. hades is just generic blue guy with a can opener nose, hera just looks like a future alcoholic lisa simpson and persephone is just?? what?? the dread queen is just a pink teen with a baby face? even her flowers look like blobs? where is the effort in any of this?

10. Obvs the book underselling doesn't automatically mean LO is now failing (even if it's a bit embarrassing on RS and Webtoons' part) but seriously, why aren't they building up other comics to be flagship series too if LO starts slipping or more people drop it? Tbh wouldn't that be good for her too so all the pressure isn't on her? It'd be like Netflix only focusing on Stranger Things or Disney+ only focusing on the Mandolorian. Diversify your portfolio, you guys.

[tallstars-rewrite]

Chapter 36

chapter list / previous / next

“So what is it you call them again?” Talltail’s eyes narrowed skeptically.

“They’re called cars, so I’ve been told.” Jake replied. 

They were crouched a fox-length away from a bright red shiny monster sitting quietly in front of a twoleg den.

“Is it dead?” Talltail asked, instinctively keeping his voice quiet as if he half expected the thing to roar to life any moment.

“I don’t even think they’re alive. At least, it certainly doesn’t smell alive. All I know is when housefolk gets inside one, they start moving”

“Hm.” Talltail kicked a small pebble at it. Nothing. Jake was right about that, they certainly didn’t smell like any living thing. “And what about the lights in their eyes? It’s not fire, but there are lights like that all over the twoleg places.”

“I dunno, housefolk are just good at making light that isn’t hot I guess. Between us, I think their eyesight in the dark is awful.”

“So you don’t even know how twolegs make the things they do?”

“Not really,” Jake shrugged. “But do you understand exactly how plants grow or how birds can fly?”

“Well...no, they just do. I suppose...you sort of have a point.” Talltail admitted. “But I still don’t trust these things. They sound like monsters to me. Let’s keep going, I don’t like looking at it’s eyes, even if they aren’t alive.”

They walked through gardens, keeping to the grass and sparse trees alongside the hard stone Thunderpaths and trails. As the dusky sky turned to a pale gray dawn, they saw twolegs every so often, and many of them paused to look at the two cats walking side by side. Talltail didn’t like going past them, but after narrowly escaping another aggressive group of strays, and a lost dog, Jake eventually convinced Talltail that twolegs were the lesser of the two evils. So, daylight travel it was.

“Just don’t make eye contact,” Jake said. “They’re slow, so even if they want to pet us, we can just run and they’ll give up.”

“They just try petting every animal that walks by!?” Talltail hissed.

“Well some of them, if they can.”

Talltail snorted. The absolute arrogance of assuming that because a couple cats liked them, that meant every cat wanted to be their friend. I don’t try to groom every cat I walk by because that would be weird, Talltail thought with an irritated twitch of his tail. But he was quickly finding most twolegs weren’t necessarily the ruthless predators he’d imagined them to be in his youth. They were, however, incredibly annoying.

But on the brighter side, he’d found that he really had started to get used to the sounds of the town, even though it was still overwhelming. They had to duck behind a house every now and again when a particularly loud string of monsters passed.

“We’re almost there,” Jake assured him. “I’m...mostly sure of it. When we were on the roof, I got a better idea of where we were. The alley cats chased us in the wrong direction, but we should be able to get there without crossing anyone's territory.”

After only a couple more turns down the stone path, Jake raised his tail. “Ah! There it is!” he exclaimed. “See those tall trees up ahead? I’m sure that’s where the park is.”

“Is this ‘park’ actually...safe?” Talltail asked as they grew closer. In the distance, he knew the pines that bordered ShadowClan’s territory were close. There was a ring of twoleg dens blocking it, but such a forested area would surely house prey to some cat.

“Well, twolegs walk through it with their dogs, but they have them on leashes. Don’t worry, I know not all dogs are like Dusty. I won’t make you get slobbered by any more of them,” Jake added quickly when he saw Talltail’s alarm.

“I appreciate that,” Talltail said with a shudder.

The park was a large area with sparse patches of woods and bushes surrounded by large grassy fields. Not the fields Talltail was used to, but very short soft grass that would be impossible to hide in, and most of it stank of stale dog scent. Talltail thought he would be able to relax once they’d reached a more natural familiar area, but even this place felt very...off compared to the woodland and fields he knew. Like the plants and trees were all too...neat.

“Well, it’s still better than the town,” Talltail sighed. “But where to start looking…”

“What exactly are you planning on doing when you find them?” Jake asked with a sideways glance.

“Uh...” Talltail paused. He hadn’t been thinking of it in detail, he’d just been repeatedly telling himself that he’d figure it out when he got there. “I’ll... figure it out when I get there?” he said.

“You don’t want to fight all of them do you?” Jake’s eyes were round with concern.

“No, of course not.” Talltail for the first time felt a stab of guilt for the visitors when he thought of Mole, Reena, and her parents. They had been so kind. Reena had even been his friend for a while. They wouldn’t think so kindly of him after this, but their feelings couldn’t be at the front of his mind. They were protecting a bad cat. Sparrow didn’t even care about the others as much as Hen, he’d practically said so himself. If Talltail could just get Sparrow away from the others somehow, they wouldn’t have to get involved at all.

While he was thinking, Jake had gotten distracted and was looking up at a massive oak tree with long hanging branches splaying out. He had an eager light in his eyes, like a kit hunting a drifting feather.

“We could…get higher? Maybe if we got high up we could see if there are any cats around, or even the pond we’re looking for. I bet you could see the whole area from up there, and the branches are low enough to jump to.”

Talltail looked doubtfully up at the tree. WindClan had keener eyes than most cats, but his nose was still better for searching. Maybe Jake had other motives.

But It’s not as if we’re running out of time. If they’ve hung around for this long, they’ll hang around longer… Talltail thought. He shrugged. “Sure, why not?”

Jake looked back at him, “You don’t think it’s too dangerous?”

“Well...maybe it’s risky, but less dangerous than what we’ve already done. It’s not as if I’ll let you fall.”

Jake’s plumy red tail flicked high, his vibrant eyes glowing with a mischievous excitement. “Bet I can get up it faster."

With that, he crouched and leapt, hooking his claws into the lowest branch and hoisting himself all the way up with an agility Talltail hadn’t expected from such a stocky cat. Talltail bunched his muscles and jumped up after him, and his paws touched the branch without requiring him to scramble the rest of the way. Keeping his momentum, he jumped again to the next nearest branch up.

He got so caught up in the challenge, Talltail was almost on the fourth branch before he remembered he’d never actually climbed a tall tree in his entire life. He made the mistake of looking down, and the ground below felt dizzyingly far, even though it didn’t feel like he’d gone very high.

“What’s wrong? I’ll be napping at the top before you get there!” Jake called. Great StarClan, how had he gotten three branches above him? 

Talltail looked up. “You know uh...there’s not really many trees like this on the moor.”

“Then this’ll be good practice! Every cat should know how to climb trees!”

“What am I, ThunderClan?” Talltail grumbled. Staring up while newly aware of the drop below him, he felt significantly less confident with his leaps. “Er, Jake?”

“Yeah?”

“How did you get up there exactly?”

“Climbed.”

“Alright, yes, but be more specific.”

“You’re half way up! How did you get to where you are?” the ginger tom flashed him a cheeky grin.

“Dumb luck? I don’t trust my paws! Can’t you tell me where you put yours?”

“Well, I trust your paws, and you should too! Just keep your eyes on where you want to be.”

Swallowing his doubt, Talltail balanced himself with his tail and found it a reliable weight as ever as he leapt. Jake stopped past the halfway point up the massive tree. The branches were separated enough that they could see the whole area around them, but too thin to climb further. For a moment Talltail could almost pretend he wasn’t surrounded on all sides by twolegs with their bizarre dens and contraptions. The call of alarmed birds disturbed from their perching was a welcome sound blocking out the distant rumble of crossing Thunderpaths. He had learned his lesson about looking down and carefully lay himself on the branch to catch his breath. 

Jake lay across from him, and looked thoughtfully at Talltail’s paws. “Huh,” he said, “I didn’t expect you to have duller claws than me.” He flexed his small needle sharp claws and scraped them on the branch. 

“They’re not as sharp, but they're a lot sturdier.” Talltail flexed a paw. “And those wounds are harder to close,” he added with a wink.

But it was true his claws didn’t hook into the bark as deep as he would like. He usually only needed them to grip soft earth while running, or digging.

“How high up do you think a cat can jump from without getting hurt?” Jake asked abruptly, gazing below at the dizzying drop with an amused twitch of his whiskers. He looked like he was enjoying himself somehow.

Talltail glared at him. “Do not ask me that right now.”

Jake snorted with laughter which petered into a quiet purr of contentment as the sun dripped through the branches and danced over his fur. He really did have the brightest orange pelt Talltail had ever seen. The sun caught the ginger and it glowed like the warm fire Jake’s twoleg kept in their home, the vivid stripes swirling along his tufted flanks broken up where the fur was longest. Talltail had never spent so much time trying to memorize all the details of a cat's face. It was odd, the little leap of happiness he felt fluttering around in his heart. Sometimes he caught his breath and it skipped in a way he couldn’t recall ever feeling before when looking at a cat. That’s...weird. Am I getting sick?

He scarcely realized he was staring when he noticed Jake was also looking intently at his face as well. 

Talltail blinked at him. “What is it?”

Jake stretched out and touched his nose to Talltail’s cheek. “Thanks for humoring me. I’m glad you’ve let me come with you this long,” he purred.

“I wouldn’t say I’m humoring you, I wouldn’t even have gotten here without you,” Talltail replied. His ears twitched as he tried to hide the fur prickling on the nape of his neck and the warm blush rushing under his pelt from the unexpected touch. What in StarClan is wrong with me? I think the height is making me light headed.

“I mean with this climb,” Jake laughed. “My friends would have said it was fluff-brained or dangerous and told me to stop messing around. Not that I blame them, we are really high up.”

“Don’t remind me,” Talltail gulped. “I just want to enjoy the view and pretend the ground is nearby. Don’t you have friends who do this with you?”

“They’ll come on long walks with me. I like Quince and Nutmeg, but they don’t always understand me. Sometimes I just feel...this pull to do something different, like in my gut, and I have to do it. Like I see a faraway place from my roof and I think ‘what does everything look like from there?’ And I so desperately want to go there and see.”

Talltail nodded, his whiskers twitching in amusement. It was similar to that excitable longing to dash to the horizon he felt when he was young. It had been a long time since he’d dwelled on it.

Jake continued, “I can’t live my whole life every day eating, sleeping, grooming, even though I like it. I feel like...there’s something else out there, and I’ll be restless until I find out what it is. That’s why I was so glad to meet you again... I love my friends and neighbors, well-- most of them, Tyr can get stuffed. But sometimes I worry I’m annoying them with my fancies.”

Talltail blinked at Jake in surprise. “I can’t imagine any cat finding you annoying.”

Jake snorted. “Oh Talltail, you haven’t been around me long enough! Driving cats up the walls is a talent of mine.”

“Well you’ve certainly driven me up a tree, so there’s that. No other cat would be able to do that.” Talltail rested his chin on his paws. The sun felt so nice warming the dark fur on his back, he’d forgotten all about scanning the area for other cats. 

Jake stretched and inched his forepaws on either side of Talltail. “I’m glad I know you,” he purred.

Talltail was a little caught off guard. “Thanks.” 

“You’re welcome.”

“Well…. I’m...glad I know you too?” 

They sat there in the branches passively grooming each other's ears, and Talltail listened to the breeze whisk through his fur. It wasn’t the familiar winds he grew up with, but he swore he could almost smell the moor carried on them from far away. Before the homesickness could creep up on him again, Jake yawned and stretched.

“Ok, we’ve stalled long enough, we should probably get down now.”

“Right, erm, down.” Talltail still wasn’t brave enough to look.

“Don’t worry, it’s not as if I’ll let you fall. Promise.” Jake winked.

“Are you going to catch me?” Talltail snorted. “I probably weigh as much as you do.”

“I could carry you if I had to! It’s not all fluff under here.”

 Talltail was still doubtful of that, but Jake’s confidence in the whole situation was at least easing his nerves a little.

“I climb trees like this all the time, it’s much easier than it looks. Surely you won’t have too much trouble balancing with that tail of yours.”

Talltail swayed on his paws as he, unfortunately, finally glanced down at the dizzying drop through the branches. Oh stars… He kept his eyes firmly on Jake’s tail and paws, one branch at a time, flinching with each tentative jump, but after some coaxing and at least one instance of Jake grabbing his scruff to steady them, Talltail at last landed down onto safe grass again. He still trembled a bit even as he flexed his claws into the soft earth 

“See, that wasn’t so bad!” Jake chirped.

“Says you, I can't believe you put yourself through that all the time.”

“The height is kind of a rush though, isn’t it?”

“If by rush, you mean vividly imagining the air rushing by me as I plummet to my death? Then yes, absolutely.”

“Aw I bet you could climb all sorts of things if you set your mind to it!” Jake grinned at him.

“I prefer to use my tail for steering my turns,” Talltail retorted. “WindClan are not the climbers of the forest. An old clanmate of mine, Aspenfall, took to climbing better than the rest of us, but he was still pretty bad at it.”

“You really do all have such funny names don’t you?” Jake replied. “Who else is there?”

“What, in my whole clan? well...my mentor was called Dawnstripe. I’m sure I’ve told you about Briarpaw, he’s the one training to be a medicine cat. I had a friend called Ryewhisker as well, and Fawnleap and Lilywhisker...” He listed off several more names as Jake stared. Talltail of course still knew everyone by heart.

“That’s so many cats, how do you keep track of them all?”

“That’s not even half of them! They’re your family, of course you come to know them over time.” He remembered how overwhelmed he had been as a kit, trying to learn the names of all his clanmates. They had been so patient with him.

“So how do you get your names anyhow?” Jake asked. “I heard a rumor your get a cool name when you killed your first enemy”

Talltail purred in laughter. “No, not quite. Our names are much more than that. They’re special to us, you get it when you’ve completed your training and officially become a warrior. No murder required. The first name given to you by your parents represents your roots. Your parents give you your colors and physical traits, so them choosing your first name is to honor them and the life you’ve been given. It’s usually a name referencing something from the world around us, to represent our connection to the area we are born in. Our territory is part of us after all, as important as our clanmates. It’s where you’ll spend your whole life.” Well...it’s where you’re supposed to spend your whole life, he thought with a twinge of guilt.

Jake nodded, “That's simple enough. What about the last part?”

“That’s the important part. It represents a small part of the warrior you become, what you're best known for. Some are more abstract than others. Your mentor, the leader, and the medicine cat discuss with each other about your progress over the course of your training to decide what name you're called to have.”

“That’s so cool! My name doesn’t mean anything, I wish I could earn a cool badge like that. But...What about you? Your first name is Tall, that’s not really a thing like the other names you told me.”

Talltail nodded. “My name is old. In the early times of the clans, you had no name at all until you proved you could survive to adulthood. Back then, if you got a name, it always referenced the most noticeable physical trait about you rather than anything else, so cats could tell you apart on sight. Except for the legendary warriors of course, who were named for their renowned feats, but most cats couldn’t hope to be that special. There was only one meaning to their names, rather than two separate meanings. So my name was planned ahead, a traditional one to honor the cats that survived in those hard times. That’s why my father chose it for me. I guess my tail was freakishly long back then too.” 

“You didn’t get to earn a last name yourself? That doesn’t seem as fun.” Jake said.

“It’s not all about fun! Besides, no name can perfectly represent everything about you. Getting a warrior name is always an honor regardless of what it is. Besides, it is pretty notable isn’t it?” he purred, wapping Jake with his tail for good measure.

Jake sneezed as the fur tickled his nose. “Yeah, I could see you from a mile away with that thing.”

After a bit more aimless wandering, they finally paused for a moment to rest. Jake rolled in the grass, getting burs and twigs and grass shreds stuck in his tufty orange pelt. He looked a bit like a hedgehog.

“You're going to end up dragging the whole park along with you if you keep that up,” Talltail chuckled. 

“Maybe I want to take some back with me. Also I like smelling like grass! It’s nice. You always smell like moor grass.”

Talltail didn’t know how that could be. It had been so long since he’d been home, the moor couldn’t possibly still be sticking to him. But maybe it was harder to get rid of than he thought. 

Jake interrupted his thoughts again. “What would my name be if I was in a clan?”

Talltail snorted. “Your name? I have no idea, it’s not something you can just slap on a cat!”

“Well how do cats who join the clan get named? Does that ever happen?”

“We’ve never had an outsider join in my time but...I think the leader chooses? Even then, I can’t possibly imagine what skills you would prove over the course of training.”

“Well let’s say you’re leader, what would you call me? Just if you had to guess?”

Talltail hummed in thought, looking Jake over as he beamed back at him patiently. He had the goofiest gleeful look on his face, Talltail stifled a purr “Oh I don’t know...Perhaps Flameface.”

Jake laughed at that. “Flameface? That’s a name? That sounds so silly!”

“It’s not silly at all! It’s a perfectly fine name. No sillier than Jake, your name is nonsense! It sounds like the noise you make when you hack up a furball. It only sounds silly to you because you don’t know what it means.”

“Ok, ok that’s fair. What’s it mean?”

“Flame is pretty self explanatory. You are the brightest orange cat I’ve ever seen. And I guess I associate it with you now because your twoleg’s den was the first place I ever saw real fire.”

“I like ‘Flame.’ That part’s cool. But...what, does my face look like it’s on fire?”

“No, no it’s not always that literal. Well, maybe it is a little. Some names are for cats who are good at many different things, but master of nothing in particular.”

“What? I could be a master at something!”

“It’s not a bad thing at all!” Talltail purred. “In fact, those are some of the most reliable cats. ‘Face’ is just a variation on referencing your appearance. I think it’s often given to cats who are thought to be particularly attractive in some way or another. I can’t remember what the idea was exactly. Like their face draws attention or...lights up the area? Metaphorically of course. It’s a little sappy.”

“Ohhh...” Jake was silent for a moment in thought. “You think I’m attractive?”

“What?”

“Wow, no cats ever called me that before!”

Talltail’s pelt felt hot as he sat up. “Y-you’re thinking too hard about it, I’m trying to be objective. I only thought of it because--I just mean you’re distracting. But...In a good way.”

“I’m distracting?”

“Well, I don’t mean--I meant like, eye-catching, because of--have you looked at yourself when the sunlight hits your fur? It--No, oh for StarClan’s sake, hold on, I’m explaining this poorly. Stop looking at me like that, the point is that’s the closest guess I can manage. It might not be accurate.”

Jake grinned up at him, “I like that name.”

“...Good. It’s past sunhigh now, so we should start looking,” Talltail mewed quickly, already to his feet, hoping his fur wasn’t noticeably bristling in embarrassment. 

Jake trotted after him, his tail held up high. “So, what would your name be if you earned a normal one, do you think?” he asked, a new note of amusement in his voice that Talltail was trying very hard to ignore.

“I don’t know, Jake.”

“‘Cause I think you could be a ‘face’ cat too, you’re the most distracting thing I've ever seen in my life”

“We are burning daylight here, Jake.”

“Ok, but think about it.”

Talltail would probably think about it for the rest of the day, thanks.

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